#and if the easy path is doing this levels of exhaustion for me what would the hard path do

[aceteling]

head hurts at 5 am and I'm spiralling into bad thoughts

What's the point of all of this. Man. I don't want to struggle I just want to snuggle. I feel like I'm not doing enough but what I am doing is already too much and overwhelming and I've been having bad sleep for a few days and want to cry

Is life really going. To just be this all the time

please oh please gods give me something good and not abstract to look forward to that's gonna feel like it's worth it

[mostlysignssomeportents]

AI’s productivity theater

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

When I took my kid to New Zealand with me on a book-tour, I was delighted to learn that grocery stores had special aisles where all the kids'-eye-level candy had been removed, to minimize nagging. What a great idea!

Related: countries around the world limit advertising to children, for two reasons:

1) Kids may not be stupid, but they are inexperienced, and that makes them gullible; and

2) Kids don't have money of their own, so their path to getting the stuff they see in ads is nagging their parents, which creates a natural constituency to support limits on kids' advertising (nagged parents).

There's something especially annoying about ads targeted at getting credulous people to coerce or torment other people on behalf of the advertiser. For example, AI companies spent millions targeting your boss in an effort to convince them that you can be replaced with a chatbot that absolutely, positively cannot do your job.

Your boss has no idea what your job entails, and is (not so) secretly convinced that you're a featherbedding parasite who only shows up for work because you fear the breadline, and not because your job is a) challenging, or b) rewarding:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/19/make-them-afraid/#fear-is-their-mind-killer

That makes them prime marks for chatbot-peddling AI pitchmen. Your boss would love to fire you and replace you with a chatbot. Chatbots don't unionize, they don't backtalk about stupid orders, and they don't experience any inconvenient moral injury when ordered to enshittify the product:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/25/moral-injury/#enshittification

Bosses are Bizarro-world Marxists. Like Marxists, your boss's worldview is organized around the principle that every dollar you take home in wages is a dollar that isn't available for executive bonuses, stock buybacks or dividends. That's why you boss is insatiably horny for firing you and replacing you with software. Software is cheaper, and it doesn't advocate for higher wages.

That makes your boss such an easy mark for AI pitchmen, which explains the vast gap between the valuation of AI companies and the utility of AI to the customers that buy those companies' products. As an investor, buying shares in AI might represent a bet the usefulness of AI – but for many of those investors, backing an AI company is actually a bet on your boss's credulity and contempt for you and your job.

But bosses' resemblance to toddlers doesn't end with their credulity. A toddler's path to getting that eye-height candy-bar goes through their exhausted parents. Your boss's path to realizing the productivity gains promised by an AI salesman runs through you.

A new research report from the Upwork Research Institute offers a look into the bizarre situation unfolding in workplaces where bosses have been conned into buying AI and now face the challenge of getting it to work as advertised:

https://www.upwork.com/research/ai-enhanced-work-models

The headline findings tell the whole story:

96% of bosses expect that AI will make their workers more productive;

85% of companies are either requiring or strongly encouraging workers to use AI;

49% of workers have no idea how AI is supposed to increase their productivity;

77% of workers say using AI decreases their productivity.

Working at an AI-equipped workplaces is like being the parent of a furious toddler who has bought a million Sea Monkey farms off the back page of a comic book, and is now destroying your life with demands that you figure out how to get the brine shrimp he ordered from a notorious Holocaust denier to wear little crowns like they do in the ad:

https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/intelligence-report/2004/hitler-and-sea-monkeys

Bosses spend a lot of time thinking about your productivity. The "productivity paradox" shows a rapid, persistent decline in American worker productivity, starting in the 1970s and continuing to this day:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Productivity_paradox

The "paradox" refers to the growth of IT, which is sold as a productivity-increasing miracle. There are many theories to explain this paradox. One especially good theory came from the late David Graeber (rest in power), in his 2012 essay, "Of Flying Cars and the Declining Rate of Profit":

https://thebaffler.com/salvos/of-flying-cars-and-the-declining-rate-of-profit

Graeber proposes that the growth of IT was part of a wider shift in research approaches. Research was once dominated by weirdos (e.g. Jack Parsons, Oppenheimer, etc) who operated with relatively little red tape. The rise of IT coincides with the rise of "managerialism," the McKinseyoid drive to monitor, quantify and – above all – discipline the workforce. IT made it easier to generate these records, which also made it normal to expect these records.

Before long, every employee – including the "creatives" whose ideas were credited with the productivity gains of the American century until the 70s – was spending a huge amount of time (sometimes the majority of their working days) filling in forms, documenting their work, and generally producing a legible account of their day's work. All this data gave rise to a ballooning class of managers, who colonized every kind of institution – not just corporations, but also universities and government agencies, which were structured to resemble corporations (down to referring to voters or students as "customers").

Even if you think all that record-keeping might be useful, there's no denying that the more time you spend documenting your work, the less time you have to do your work. The solution to this was inevitably more IT, sold as a way to make the record-keeping easier. But adding IT to a bureaucracy is like adding lanes to a highway: the easier it is to demand fine-grained record-keeping, the more record-keeping will be demanded of you.

But that's not all that IT did for the workplace. There are a couple areas in which IT absolutely increased the profitability of the companies that invested in it.

First, IT allowed corporations to outsource production to low-waged countries in the global south, usually places with worse labor protection, weaker environmental laws, and easily bribed regulators. It's really hard to produce things in factories thousands of miles away, or to oversee remote workers in another country. But IT makes it possible to annihilate distance, time zone gaps, and language barriers. Corporations that figured out how to use IT to fire workers at home and exploit workers and despoil the environment in distant lands thrived. Executives who oversaw these projects rose through the ranks. For example, Tim Cook became the CEO of Apple thanks to his successes in moving production out of the USA and into China.

https://archive.is/M17qq

Outsourcing provided a sugar high that compensated for declining productivity…for a while. But eventually, all the gains to be had from outsourcing were realized, and companies needed a new source of cheap gains. That's where "bossware" came in: the automation of workforce monitoring and discipline. Bossware made it possible to monitor workers at the finest-grained levels, measuring everything from keystrokes to eyeball movements.

What's more, the declining power of the American worker – a nice bonus of the project to fire huge numbers of workers and ship their jobs overseas, which made the remainder terrified of losing their jobs and thus willing to eat a rasher of shit and ask for seconds – meant that bossware could be used to tie wages to metrics. It's not just gig workers who don't score consistent five star ratings from app users whose pay gets docked – it's also creative workers whose Youtube and Tiktok wages are cut for violating rules that they aren't allowed to know, because that might help them break the rules without being detected and punished:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/13/solidarity-forever/#tech-unions

Bossware dominates workplaces from public schools to hospitals, restaurants to call centers, and extends to your home and car, if you're working from home (AKA "living at work") or driving for Uber or Amazon:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/02/chickenized-by-arise/#arise

In providing a pretense for stealing wages, IT can increase profits, even as it reduces productivity:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

One way to think about how this works is through the automation-theory metaphor of a "centaur" and a "reverse centaur." In automation circles, a "centaur" is someone who is assisted by an automation tool – for example, when your boss uses AI to monitor your eyeballs in order to find excuses to steal your wages, they are a centaur, a human head atop a machine body that does all the hard work, far in excess of any human's capacity.

A "reverse centaur" is a worker who acts as an assistant to an automation system. The worker who is ridden by an AI that monitors their eyeballs, bathroom breaks, and keystrokes is a reverse centaur, being used (and eventually, used up) by a machine to perform the tasks that the machine can't perform unassisted:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

But there's only so much work you can squeeze out of a human in this fashion before they are ruined for the job. Amazon's internal research reveals that the company has calculated that it ruins workers so quickly that it is in danger of using up every able-bodied worker in America:

https://www.vox.com/recode/23170900/leaked-amazon-memo-warehouses-hiring-shortage

Which explains the other major findings from the Upwork study:

81% of bosses have increased the demands they make on their workers over the past year; and

71% of workers are "burned out."

Bosses' answer to "AI making workers feel burned out" is the same as "IT-driven form-filling makes workers unproductive" – do more of the same, but go harder. Cisco has a new product that tries to detect when workers are about to snap after absorbing abuse from furious customers and then gives them a "Zen" moment in which they are showed a "soothing" photo of their family:

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/ai-bringing-zen-first-horizons-192010166.html

This is just the latest in a series of increasingly sweaty and cruel "workplace wellness" technologies that spy on workers and try to help them "manage their stress," all of which have the (totally predictable) effect of increasing workplace stress:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/15/wellness-taylorism/#sick-of-spying

The only person who wouldn't predict that being closely monitored by an AI that snitches on you to your boss would increase your stress levels is your boss. Unfortunately for you, AI pitchmen know this, too, and they're more than happy to sell your boss the reverse-centaur automation tool that makes you want to die, and then sell your boss another automation tool that is supposed to restore your will to live.

The "productivity paradox" is being resolved before our eyes. American per-worker productivity fell because it was more profitable to ship American jobs to regulatory free-fire zones and exploit the resulting precarity to abuse the workers left onshore. Workers who resented this arrangement were condemned for having a shitty "work ethic" – even as the number of hours worked by the average US worker rose by 13% between 1976 and 2016:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

AI is just a successor gimmick at the terminal end of 40 years of increasing profits by taking them out of workers' hides rather than improving efficiency. That arrangement didn't come out of nowhere: it was a direct result of a Reagan-era theory of corporate power called "consumer welfare." Under the "consumer welfare" approach to antitrust, monopolies were encouraged, provided that they used their market power to lower wages and screw suppliers, while lowering costs to consumers.

"Consumer welfare" supposed that we could somehow separate our identities as "workers" from our identities as "shoppers" – that our stagnating wages and worsening conditions ceased mattering to us when we clocked out at 5PM (or, you know, 9PM) and bought a $0.99 Meal Deal at McDonald's whose low, low price was only possible because it was cooked by someone sleeping in their car and collecting food-stamps.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/article/2024/jul/20/disneyland-workers-anaheim-california-authorize-strike

But we're reaching the end of the road for consumer welfare. Sure, your toddler-boss can be tricked into buying AI and firing half of your co-workers and demanding that the remainder use AI to do their jobs. But if AI can't do their jobs (it can't), no amount of demanding that you figure out how to make the Sea Monkeys act like they did in the comic-book ad is doing to make that work.

As screwing workers and suppliers produces fewer and fewer gains, companies are increasingly turning on their customers. It's not just that you're getting worse service from chatbots or the humans who are reverse-centaured into their workflow. You're also paying more for that, as algorithmic surveillance pricing uses automation to gouge you on prices in realtime:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/24/gouging-the-all-seeing-eye/#i-spy

This is – in the memorable phrase of David Dayen and Lindsay Owens, the "age of recoupment," in which companies end their practice of splitting the gains from suppressing labor with their customers:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-06-03-age-of-recoupment/

It's a bet that the tolerance for monopolies made these companies too big to fail, and that means they're too big to jail, so they can cheat their customers as well as their workers.

AI may be a bet that your boss can be suckered into buying a chatbot that can't do your job, but investors are souring on that bet. Goldman Sachs, who once trumpeted AI as a multi-trillion dollar sector with unlimited growth, is now publishing reports describing how companies who buy AI can't figure out what to do with it:

https://www.goldmansachs.com/intelligence/pages/gs-research/gen-ai-too-much-spend-too-little-benefit/report.pdf

Fine, investment banks are supposed to be a little conservative. But VCs? They're the ones with all the appetite for risk, right? Well, maybe so, but Sequoia Capital, a top-tier Silicon Valley VC, is also publicly questioning whether anyone will make AI investments pay off:

https://www.sequoiacap.com/article/ais-600b-question/

I can't tell you how great it was to take my kid down a grocery checkout aisle from which all the eye-level candy had been removed. Alas, I can't figure out how we keep the nation's executive toddlers from being dazzled by shiny AI pitches that leave us stuck with the consequences of their impulse purchases.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/25/accountability-sinks/#work-harder-not-smarter

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[vipvesper]

heyy so can you do a clarisse x reader fic where they have like rivalry?

major h8r

pairing: clarisse la rue x reader

warnings: clarisse, mentions of bullying, some low-grade tajin level spice

word count: 890+

"next time you won't be so lucky."

"Dude, you can't keep letting her pick on you like that," preaches Luke as the two of you sit on a rock. What happened, you may ask? You decided it would be a good idea to give into Clarisse after she relentlessly harassed begged you. Rather than actually focusing on technique during your spar, she took the opportunity to beat the Hades out of you. “She’s a bully.”

White bandages slip out of your grasp as you feebly attempt to wrap your wound. While ambrosia and nectar would've done the job, you're wary with consumption as to not burn to a crisp. Luke takes your hand, doing it for you. Contempt swirls in his oak-hued eyes, he knows you're better than this.

"I shouldn't have believed her when she said she wanted to improve her technique. I let my guard down," you mutter. Annabeth tuts, turning to face the entrance of the woods. “She may be a little… rough around the edges, but she’s not a bad person.”

"You'd think that someone like you would notice that she is," she states, blunt as ever.

"Helpful input, Annabeth.”

"It's the truth." The girl shrugs, fresh braids (courtesy of you) draped down her back.

"Thanks for the help, guys," you say, clapping an injured hand over Luke's shoulder. "But I have to get going. Camp won't run itself."

"But it literally will--"

You're already out of range by the time either of them can make any sort of protest. As you walk through the dirt paths, surveying the behaviors of the campers that are out and about, a familiar stomping sound approaches. Great. Clarisse.

Before you can turn to face her, an angry fist hits you over the head.

"You idiot! Why didn't you tell me you fight like a toddler? I would've gone easy," she jabs your side rather hard, forcing you to fold in on yourself. "Can't have Chiron's favorite in the infirmary. It'd be a shame if you shriveled up and died from an ambrosia overdose." You simply brush her off, having much more important things to do. “C’mon, dude, you suck at swordfighting!”

“Why are you talking to me?”

The question seems to catch her off guard. Her playful stance shifts to one fueled by anger at your comment.

“Cuz who else here is stupid as you?” The girl scoffs, built arms crossed over her overly toned chest. This isn’t even fair.

“Goodbye, Clarisse,” You roll your eyes, hiking up the stairs of the Big House, shutting it behind you.

Darkness creeps into the corner of your visions as you lay in your bunk, eyes trained on the ceiling. The snores of your siblings fill the room, coupled with the shuffling of blankets. Just as you near dreamland, a loud thunk on your window jolts you awake. You grab the weapon under your pillow, startled. You groan, seeing the culprit. Clarisse stands at your window, eyes shifting around.

Reluctantly, you let her tumble into the cabin, forcing her to silence.

“Shh, you’re gonna wake them up.” She simply laughs, kicking her shoes off, and dropping into your bed. “To what do I owe this pleasure?” Your voice is nothing more than a whisper, quiet as a breeze.

“Missed ya’.” The daughter of Ares snickers, grabbing your tired form and dragging you down with her.

“You can’t keep breaking into my cabin,” you insist, but she doesn’t listen. The two of you lay side by side, simply enjoying eachother’s company. “You’re like… too calm.” Clarisse snorts, curls draped over your blankets

“Shut up. Next time you won’t be so lucky. I’m exhausted from beating your ass all day.” She grabs you by the collar, planting an uncharacteristically gentle kiss on your cheek. Heat blooms in your face, creeping up your neck and touching your ears.

“Oh. Wow.”

She moves quick, tackling you in a kiss—this time on the lips. A hint of cherry chapstick touches your tastebuds as your situationship pulls away. It’s a fleeting feeling, her lips on yours, and you simply can’t get enough. She chuckles upon seeing the look on your face.

“I hate your stupid face.” Clarisse’s sudden words are laced with laughter, her fingertips gently brushing over the dip of your nose and the apples of your reddened cheeks.

Her pretty dark eyes stare into yours, thumbing over a bruise she left from sparring.

“Doesn’t seem it.”

The brutish girl props herself on her elbow, staring down at you with her gorgeous eyes, darkest browns dotted with celestial bronze, swirled with imperial gold in the low light.

She tucks a loose tuft of hair behind your ear, leaving down again to deliver another gentle kiss. “Mmh,” she hums, warm tongue prodding for entry. Warm summer air blows in, the window left agape. The scent of the strawberry fields and the last embers of the latest fire mix to form a pleasant smell, bathing the cabin.

Clarisse’s calloused hand cups your jaw, her tongue slipping into your mouth. The air between you only gets thicker, forcing the duo up for a quick breath.

“Thought you didn’t like the French,” you jest, deciding this is the time to poke fun—since you won’t end up with a goose egg. She shoves you around for a bit.

“Shut up. Stupid teacher’s pet.” She captures you in another kiss, fingers intertwined like the stars and the sky.

a/n

i got pretty distracted, so this is less of a rivalry and more of a secret relationship 😔

[stargalaxxy]

⋆˚࿔ Boyfriend Scenarios 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - Ninja Boys - Your Feelings ⋆˚ʚɞ

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ This is a continuation of my first Boyfriend Scenario, thank you so much for your support ૮⸝⸝> ̫ <⸝⸝ ა

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.

𝜗𝜚Now Playing: From the Start by, Laufey𝜗𝜚 (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) *

♡‧₊˚You Find Your Special Someone♡‧₊˚

♡‧₊˚Lloyd Garmadon♡‧₊˚

Tw. Reader Has Dark Thoughts

‧₊˚ ⋅He Helps You‧₊˚ ⋅

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  Growing up with a prophecy on your back has never been easy, up to now you have been trained under Master Wu to harness your element of Shadow. 

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  When your mother found out about your abilities she pushed you into his teachings when he came to your village at the request of training you. Much to her hesitance, It was like sending your child off to war.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  Your mother knew of Master Wu as they had history together before your birth as she was friends with Misako and mutual with Garmadon before succumbing to evil.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  She trusted his wisdom and decided to push you along into his teachings, making sure to promise to write her and tell her how much you’ve grown and your adventures.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  That did not mean that she wasn’t fearful, she knew of your strengths and capabilities. It was the world that she was scared of.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  However, as time moved on you found yourself in a new home with friends who you call family that support each other and their struggles. But being little was no walk in the park.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  And being forced to grow up wasn’t a breeze either. 

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  But at least you weren’t doing it alone.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  You knew of Llyod’s forced path to becoming the Green Ninja, defeating his father, and soon become a leader of a team.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  However, that never seem to stop him. When Llyod grew up from the tomorrow’s tea he’s been working harder to become stronger for his team, it was inspiring to you. He wasn’t that little boy anymore that you used to tease, 

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  He’s now at your level, in height and in power.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  But you were no fool, you knew of his fears and hesitation to complete the tasks that he is to commit.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  Lloyd just seemed to hide it so well with that determined grin and spark of hope. 

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  You started paying attention to Lloyd more, more than usual, as you would find yourself staring at him and admiring his growth.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  When Lloyd would push you as well to become the best version of yourselves. The times of when you felt like giving up his hand would be right there to pick you up.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  You wondered if he ever noticed the light pink blush on your cheeks.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  His determination is what is drawing you to be by his side and stand strong not only for him but for yourself, also so you could knock him down a peg.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  Every hero has room to grow after all~ 

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪  But maybe this is when you started falling for him?

୧ ‧₊˚ 🎀 ⋅ ☆ ˖°

You lean back your arms being the only thing supporting you as you sit panting, completely exhausted.

Was training ever this hard as a kid?

Sweat runs down your face as Kai walks to you a hand on his hip, “c’mon (y/n), how do you expect to be Garmadon in the final battle if you can’t even beat me?” Kai tilts his head as you glare at him.

“You were going rough on purpose!” you gasped out as your head falls back hating the heat.

“Duh, just because your new body is probably still adjusting, doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you” Kai was right,

“Five minutes, alright?” he walks away giving you a short break as you stare up at the sky the clouds giving grace as they cover the sun.

Maybe being a kid wasn’t so bad, you close your eyes the sun coming back.

Your bottom lip starts to tremble out, your new body was a joke, Nya gave you a run-down of what to expect since your mom couldn’t.

All the info dump of hormones, body pains, and rollercoaster of emotions was a lot.

Don’t get started on periods…

You’ve been thinking more about your purpose, about missions, how stress seemed to build up on the daily as you thought about your purpose on the team. Did you even matter? Was there really a purpose for you? How can you beat enemies in your way if you can’t even beat teenage life.

Were you even good enough to stand next to Lloyd. 

Before your tears could fall you notice a shadow looming over you blocking the sun, you huff as your brows twitch in annoyance.

“Kai, you said five more minutes” you whine,

“Geez was it that bad with Kai?”

You open your eyes immediately, seeing Lloyd blocking your sun, it made him look like your personal angle,  

You smile looking away as you playfully scoff, “it was lightwork honestly~” grinning as the dark thoughts retreats into your mind. Maybe Lloyd was an angle look. 

His arched brow being covered by his cowlick. “Yea, no it was hell” your honesty made Lloyd laugh as he holds out his hand for you to take.

Your face was hot again, 

“Cole, Zane, and Jay aren’t going easy on me if that makes you feel better” Llyod rubs the back of his neck as he lifts you with no effort.  “Three against one should never be easy” you sigh, “is it getting any easier?” you ask knowing that Llyod has been doing a bit more training than you.

“Meh, it’s gotten…bearable” he trails off not sounding so sure of himself, “I wish I got to bearable” you stretch as Llyod smiles placing a hand on your head. A new thing he’s been doing since you both grew up. 

“I’m sure you’ll get there, (y/n) don’t give up, okay?” his eyes look to yours with sincerity, your breathing stops as if wanting to freeze this moment to remember it forever. Can he see your red face right now, had he always looked handsome? Is this what puberty is?!

Before you could have an existential crisis Llyod karate chops your head, 

“Who knows maybe I can show you a thing or two~” he winks with a toothy grin.

You finally come back to earth as you let at a breathy laugh, giving a teasing glare as you would when you were younger.

“Oh, yea green ninja please show me your, Ninja Kick, hiya!” you chop his hand away teasingly as Lloyd’s face goes red. 

“Let that go!” he yells embarrassed as he starts chasing you, you were laughing like a maniac. 

“Never!!” 

    ˘͈ᵕ˘͈

♡‧₊˚Kai Smith♡‧₊˚

Tw. Talk of Pass Bullying/Implied Sexual Harassment

‧₊˚ ⋅His Protective Nature ‧₊˚ ⋅

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ Kai was always protective of you during your guy’s childhood together, you would come home crying with Kai’s hand in yours and his face beaten up with a proud scowl. 

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ You always seemed to get into trouble not voluntarily ofc… It was a reason why Kai always stayed close to you as kids. 

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ When Kai had new bandages, he absolutely adored them saying how cool he looked as he viewed himself in the mirror especially when they turned into scars, as three-year-old Nya clapped for him excitedly enjoying the presence of you two. You however did not like to see him hurt.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ You would cry and sniffle as you sat on his tiny bed, finally looking to you when he was done admiring himself.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ Why are you crying?

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “I protect you so I can see you smile, so stop crying” Kai’s little voice spoke as he huffs crossing his arm a gap in his mouth from a missing tooth.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “You got hurt” you look away as you fiddle with your sleeveless blouse as your eyes began to blur with more tears.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “So, I’ll take on a whole snake army for you! I hate it when you get hurt!” Kai’s fist clench showing his anger. He looks to see your eyes on him, seeing your face made him smile as he grabs your tiny hands in his.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “I’ll always protect you (y/n)! No matter what!” Kai smiles as Nya laughs happily as she hugs you.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ Your eyes sparkle at a thought that instantly pops into your head, a thought that would carry on to your current day as an adult.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “You’re my knight!” You smile.

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ What…

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “You be the knight, I’ll be the princess, Nya is a fairy!”

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “Fairy! Fairy!” Nya screams as you grab her hand and you both race out laughing,

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ “H-hold on! (y/n)! Nya!” Kai goes running after you, soon smiling, and laughing along. You all are forgetting the sad moment thanks to your quick recover child brain. 

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ The memory of you and Kai lived in your head as you remember fondly of him chasing away the big scary monsters…

✩˖ ࣪‧₊˚໒꒱⋆✩ That is when you started falling for Kai Smith…

✧˖°.🍒ֶָ֢⊹ ࣪ ˖🍓₊ ⊹✧

“No way! You fought snakes! That’s insane!” you were sitting on Kai’s bed as he was catching you up on things that had happen in his life while you were gone.

“Believe it, but that’s not all I’ve fought~” Kai starts as he smirks, allowing Kai to talk about his accomplishments is a mistake for anybody, as it was just filling his already big-headed ego. But you didn’t mind hearing him talk felt calming, it made you wind down and relax your beating heart.

Was it because you were sitting on his bed?

Kai suddenly stops talking as he stares at you for a second, did he notice your dazed face? “So, what happened at your fancy private school~” Kai leans closer jokingly as you chuckle pushing him away.

“It was nice…” you hadn’t meant for that to sound so unsure, Kai seemed to have picked up on that trail. “But?” Kai’s eyebrow arched a smile on his face coaxing you to continue. 

“It was nice at first…but I got into some drama with this girl. I was friends with her ex-boyfriend, and she thought it would be nice to spread rumors that I was a boyfriend stealing hussie-“ you blush at the name embarrassed at the stories that were passed around. 

You look away ashamed as you start digging into Kai’s comforter hoping his stare wasn’t one a judgement. “S-so, I spent the first year dealing with girls pushing and guys coming to me for ‘favors’” you scratch the back of your head, “b-but everything turned out fine, eventually people forgot and I made friends!-“

“Is that why you moved back?” Kai’s voice was low, threatening even. Was he mad at you?

“N-no! I graduated, and now I transferred to New Ninjago University!” You quickly explain you felt a pit in your stomach as your eyes trail away too nervous to look a Kai, you place your feet on the floor about to leave. 

“I’m so sor-“ you gasp as you feel the bed dip Kai had reached for you. You felt the crook of Kai’s elbow wrap around your neck as he pulls you into his body. He was so warm, his hand cups the side of your face as the other side laid onto his chest. It was a tight hold but comforting. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve been there” he says quietly as if he was holding in building anger.

You smile as quiet tears fall from your eyes, “Oh Kai, it’s not like you could have known-“

“But I should have, I should have kept in touch with you-“

“You were busy-“

“That’s no excuse” Kai cuts you off as his grip gets tighter still not enough to hurt you but you could tell there was internal frustration. Was Kai blaming himself?

You pull away as you grab Kai’s face cupping your hands as you hold him, making sure you had his attention. “Kai, none of this is your fault, everything turned out fine, I’m okay.” You smile as you reassure him. Missing the pink blush on the fire ninja cheeks. 

“I know, I just hate hearing you get hurt, in any way.” Kai places his chin on your shoulder as you embrace him, “But, if anything happens lemme know” Kai mumbles as he knew you could hear. His breath ticking your ear as you blush smiling at the feeling.

“Okay, thank you my knight~” you tease as you hear him scoff playfully earning an erupt of quiet laughter from you both. 

    •̀⩊•́

♡‧₊˚Cole Brookstone♡‧₊˚

‧₊˚ ⋅He’s Always There‧₊˚ ⋅

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ After meeting Cole and building a connection with him, Cole has come around more often. Less for the food and more for you. 

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ He would first hang out beside the counter talking to you until busy customers come, much to your sadness. 

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ Soon you got comfortable enough to invite him to come during closing so you two had more one on one time to hang out and talk without being interrupted by customers.

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ Much to your father’s disapproval but he could never say no to you, so when Cole could come you would invite him into the kitchen for a chat.

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ You would discuss about interests and home life, your dreams and aspirations, ups and downs of the day, and Cole would be there. Listening.

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ It helped let out tension and emotions before you exploded, you can’t help but thank him every day for listening to you ramble.

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ And he would smile with a relaxed face and say, “it’s no problem.” 

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ In return you did the same, his voice was like your music you’d turn on when baking. A good mix that gave you a feel-good vibe.

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ You’re thankful for Cole and his patience whenever you felt as though things were going crazy, he felt like your rock keeping you grounded from anxiety, much like a weighted blanket.

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡ When he would wrap his thick muscley arms around you it felt like heaven. His arms strong and comforting closing your eyes as you lean into his touch. 

✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡You never felt so safe and sure of someone, this is when you start falling for Cole.

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧

“Okay, powder sugar…” you read an old recipe left by your mom, The Bakery was celebrating your mothers’ 18thanniversary. The shops opening day was a month after your birth, before your mothers passing, she would make a once a time treat for the special day. 

She worked on the recipe for days perfecting measurements for the perfect taste, but after her passing and when your father took over managing the special day. The treats were never the same,

But then when you started helping the shop you made the treats following the same recipe and like magic people came over once again on the special day just to get a bite of your mothers treats. 

Now that you were older and with your passion of baking, your father asked you would like to take over managing the special day this year instead of him.

You felt so honored to be a part of the special day, not that you never were, but you always felt that you had to prove yourself.

And being a perfectionist did not help much with that feeling.

“s-sift carefully…” you lightly shake the tool as you were facing the crinkled sheet, as it had seen better days. 

“uhm (y/n)-“ you hear Coles voice as he holds out his hand to stop you however you weren’t concerned with what he was saying.  “Hold on Cole” you then look back into the bowl having finished sifting the powder sugar, however it looked more sandy than powdery…

“D-did I just put salt in there?” you tilt the bowl to get a closer, as you look to the bag beside the bowl. It indeed said ‘Salt’. 

You groan as you shove the bowl away frustrated at the silly mix up, “Hey, cut yourself some slack (y/n)” Cole places a hand on your shoulder. Your apron was covered in flour your hair a mess and a tired expression laced your face as you stare at the bowl with hatred.

“But I need to get this done! This is my first-time managing mom’s anniversary and I’m blowing it!” you squeak completely exhausted. 

“I get it… but taking a break won’t kill you, you have three days to get the desserts ready, the decorations are done right?” You nod your head,

“Good so now-“ Cole unwraps your apron you hadn’t realized until you felt it fall. 

“Cole” you blush as he takes your hand, “I’ll walk you home and take a break with you, when you’re up for it we’ll come back, okay?” 

You couldn’t fight him as your shoulders slump following him, “okay” you look to see his smile, it was warm and kind.

Leaving the ingredients you both walk out of the Bakery locking the door behind you. “Hey if it’s alright, could I help you? Maybe it’ll ease some stress” Cole grins, “are you actually gonna help or are you just gonna taste everything!” you tease as you poke an accusing finger. “Helping, tasting what’s the difference~” Cole mocks as you glare at him playfully, “it is when you eat all the supplies!” you laugh as Cole smiles.

“There’s that pretty smile” your laughter stops as you look to him blushing, as Cole just smiles admiring the blush on your face. 

Your heart beating fast, this man is gonna be the death of you.

ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ

♡‧₊˚Zane Julien♡‧₊˚

⋆｡°·☁️He’s Kind to You⋆｡°·☁️

⋆˚🐾˖   Zane has been kind to you since the day you two met, growing up you had a hard time trusting people and their intentions however you never found yourself questioning Zane’s motive to hang out with you. 

⋆˚🐾˖   Despite his formal way of talk and his struggle to understand jokes, or idioms or glowing eyes and smooth skin that felt a little weird-

⋆˚🐾˖   and-omg is this guy real?!

⋆˚🐾˖   Despite the strangeness of whatever Zane was, that never mattered to you as every time you saw him, and he saw you his face would light up with excitement to come and talk to you. You!

⋆˚🐾˖   It made you happy to know that someone was excited to see you, to talk to you and, be with you, for you.

⋆˚🐾˖   Your heart would flutter when he would say your name with such joy. 

⋆˚🐾˖   Whenever he would ask, “are you alright?” whenever your face showed even an inch of sadness.

⋆˚🐾˖   He would ask for you to teach him things, such as phrases, emotions, or people.

⋆˚🐾˖   Stating that he never truly understood how to connect with others that he felt comfortable with, or how others struggled to understand him.

⋆˚🐾˖   You could somewhat relate as you too struggled to connect with others, you smile as you agree to help him.

⋆˚🐾˖    You felt that it was the least you could do for him, since he helped you realize your true feelings for him.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚

Summer was coming to an end as the park hosted an outside movie theater event, it was last minute but luckily you and Zane got to go. There were many movies to choose from at different times, as Zane did not have a preference, he asked for you to pick.

“Why is she crying?” Zane asks as he sits on your blanket you had brought from home. He looked to the screen projector as if studying a rare fossil, it was amusing to you to say the least.

“Because she has to choose between her career or the man that she fell in love with” you explain simply as you take a bite from you brightly colored snow cone.

Zane hums as if finally understanding, even though you knew he would ask another question, 

The scene plays with an intimate moment as the man holds the women in his arms.

“You, I choose you!” the women dramatically burst into tears from her emotional confession, “I thought I lost you, darling” the man spoke dramatically a heavy accent laced his voice. 

It sucked that this was the only romance playing…

Suddenly a burst of laughter coming from the person next to you, you gave a shocked expression to Zane at his sudden unfitting emotion to the scene. 

You squeak as you blush shushing him; however, he didn’t seem to catch on so doing the only thing you thought of.

You leap on top of him, hands over his mouth as hiss came from people around you shushing Zane. After a few seconds of silence, the crowd seemed pleased as glares moved back to the screen.

“Zane what was that?!” you whisper yell, slowly moving your hands for Zane to explain himself for loudly laughing during a movie.

“Was that not appropriate?” The man under you seemed genuinely confused as you stop for a second. You soon recover and shook your head, 

“Well laughing loudly during a movie with strangers isn’t really appropriate… But what was so funny about the scene?” You weren’t upset or accusing you just wanted to know. Zane pointed out that no seemed to understand the things he does, so asking the source was the best way for you to understand. 

Zane processes your words as he looks to the sky as if it would give him an answer, “The characters in the film, they were joyful, I displayed the action that is typically seen during joyful episodes. Laughter is a joyful response to a scenario such as that.”

Oh…

“Oooh, I get it, you’re happy for them.” You connected as you smile, Zane nods happy that you understood his logical reason, you absentmindedly lay your head under your arms over his chest.

“I get it… just next maybe not so loud, okay?” you wink playfully as you smile at him,

Zane’s gears start working again as his fan goes off, his face was hot again. 

(ᵕ—ᴗ—)

♡‧₊˚Jay Walker♡‧₊˚

⋆˚✿˖°❀You Love When He Touches You⋆˚✿˖°❀

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊   Hanging out with jay helps you forget outside worries; you were sure if an outsider saw your dynamic, they’d think you were a bully for enjoying the man’s awkward struggles to communicate with you. 

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊   However every time he would stutter a response or trip on his words. Biting the bottom of his lip as his fingers anxiously tugging the bottom of his shirt wrinkling the edges every time you caught him staring at you made your heart soar. 

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊   A grin danced on your lips as you stare at Jay making his freckled face explode even more soaking up the cute expression. 

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ The thought of being the reason as to why Jay was nervous made you happy, it made happy scenarios in your head of you two together in love. If he was like this, how would he be if you two were together. 

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊. However, you weren’t completely off the hook as those little moments of when you and Jay were close together during video games or walks in the park. Or devouring plates of food together, a simple subtle touch from his hand, or a bump of the shoulders. Hands that linger on your arm, knees close together, or cheek touches. 

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ Made you feel as though you were trapped in a field of flowers. Each graze of soft petals filled your senses as you fought the urge to succumb and lay in their gentle touches.

₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊. You knew that you could fall in love with Jay Walker every time you touched.

🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You and Jay sat on the edge of a sidewalk right outside the park gate, a bag of jelly fruit being shared between you two,

“Eye spy, uhhh, blue!” Jay quickly comes up with a clue for an object that you had to guess before thinking for too long. You roll your eyes playfully holding a strawberry flavor jelly, “is it your shoes again?” you answer in a snarky tone. Jay goes quiet as he rolls his eyes taking a bite of the orange jelly fruit as you both hear a pop making him jump. You start laughing as Jay quickly moves his pants to avoid the jelly that was seeping out from the mold.

“Alright your turn~” Jay sucks out the juice before directing his attention to you waiting for your response, you think for a moment as your eyes scan every possible object. 

“Eye spy… something, pink~” you grin as you were sure that you had stumped Jay with your clue to the object you chose.

Jay looks around as he tries to find anything pink, “where is pink, I see nothing” you giggle as you look away from him. Jay chuckles as he looks to your failed poker face, “is this object even outside? You chose from one of the stores didn’t you!” Jay accuses as his smiles grows bigger as you cackle. 

“You did, you cheater!” Jay screamed as you double down in laughter, “don’t hate the player hate the game, blue jay~” you grin as you look to the object you chose being a cake on displayed in a bakery.

Jay huffs as he looks, the only stores in front were the Bakery, the Post office, and the Deli. All had windows though,

Jay squints as he leans closer, “times ticking Jay~” you tease as you float the jelly fruit to Jay’s mouth implying his punishment of being soaked in jelly fruit. 

“I never timed you- H-hold on!” Jay frantically looks finally settling on a guess as his finger finally points to an object.

“The cake in the Bakery!” there was a silence for dramatic effect as you tsk retracting the strawberry jelly fruit back. 

“Hmph, good job, lightning bug~” you sigh as you bring the fruit to your mouth as Jay shouts in victory, you squeak at the pop of the mold as the jelly luckily squeezed into your mouth. However, some coated your cheek.

You sigh in relief as you lick the remains, you look to Jay to continue playing however he stares at you with an expression you couldn’t read.

“What? Is there something on my face?” you ask wiping your face of any jelly fruit, but Jay laughed as you missed continuously. 

“Hahaaa, almost there-haha!” Jay wheezes as you start getting annoyed, as you lightly shove him playfully, “you suck, tell me where it is!” you whine a smile growing as your cheeks turned warm at Jays enjoyment of your embarrassment.

“haha, here-“ Jay leans over his hand on your cheek as he swipes the jelly off, the moment was quick. But if felt as though the world was moving in slow motion just to mess with you, the evening sun rested on Jay’s face making him look so handsome. Jay tilts his head as if getting a better look at him, with a relaxed expression you both wished for the moment to last forever.

But of course, Jay soon comes to his senses and reels back forcing his hand down to his side as his face erupts with blush and heavy sweat. 

“S-sorry, I totally, didn’t mean that! I-I mean I did I just wanted to help y’know?” you giggle as his goes higher as he tries to explain himself. Your tiny giggles seemed to spare his anxious mind,

“I know” you smile as you grab another jelly fruit looking to continue the game as you bask in the ghost touch that Jay left on your cheek.

Unknowing to you that Jay was staring at his hand, the strawberry jelly stained his hand as he brought it to his lips licking what was left as soft pink dusted his cheeks. 

(ㅅ´ ˘ `) ♡

OML, I finished!! I was so excited to write my second Boyfriend Scenario, but it was a struggleeee But I had so much fun with these scenarios especially Zane's story ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა I'm so happy that people liked my first Boyfriend Scenario story which is why I got so excited to write this one. If anyone would like to make requests on these characters or others in the series totally ask, I could use the practice in writing, hehe ᯓ��𐭩 ˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆｡☆ P.s. TUMBLR IM COMMIN FOR YOUR BUTT FOR MAKING ME REPOST THIS!!!!! Love, ⋆˚࿔ Karrots 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Sticking Point 5

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, possible violence, illness, death, bullying, ableism, and other elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are sent in the place of your ailing sister to marry a stranger. (Regency AU)

Character: Loki

Note: Three day weekend but I got coursework.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me 💞

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Banished from the library, you refuse to slink back to your rooms and hide. Your position might remain tenuous but you are meant to be the lady of this house. One day. Soon enough. So much as you dread it, and Lord Laufeyson does too, it is inevitable. 

You retreat down the hall and descend the grand staircase to the first level. You pass between the serpentine statues and cross the airy space of the entrance hall. Several servants observe your passing but retain their propriety and silence.  

The doorman lets you out into the sunshine. You might have brought a parasol but it is too late now. You come down the steps onto solid earth and peer around at the lush green gardens that further bolster the estate's name.  

You retrace the path Odin led you on the previous day. You stop to admire roses in canary yellow and the orange tree transplanted from some faraway land. As he showed you it all, you could hear the pride which made this place so coveted. There's a peace that comes with the medley of colours and scents that mingle in the sprawl of curated gardens. 

As you reach the hedges higher than your own head, you become disoriented. You do not to clearly remember which way to turn. Certainly you cannot lose yourself enough to not find the route back. 

The statue of the lady in repose is familiar and the bird bath trimmed in stone lilies similarly nostalgic. You try to fathom that it is all meant to be yours. It is no easy plight to reconcile the duke’s loathing with expectation: your own, those of your parents, and society in itself. 

You tarry by the circle of benches around a weeping tree. The curtain of branches has you curious to delve into its arches and yet the webbing of spiders keeps you from mussing your dress. As all things, your caution keeps you from action. 

You turn back as the sun shifts and the clouds crawl over the sky. You wind around and come to stare down a wooden archway twined in vines and moss. You do not recollect that from Odin's exploration. You must have lost your way, you are not headed back to the estate but away from it. 

Uncertain, you spin back again and your feet turn fleet as worry mounts. You veer this way and find yourself at a wall of hedges, you turn that way and find yourself circling around back to the same place. You cannot make sense of it. 

You begin to weary as the sky dims further and a coolness settles in the air. Time passes and you remain trapped in the labyrinth of branches and brambles. What should happen might you truly be lost? 

For a moment, the premise is not so unhappy. It would assuage many malignancies. The duke would no longer be bound to your horrid existence, nor would you be vowed to face ridicule for the years to come. He might even let himself smile to think you gone, if not perished. 

You fall onto a bench and hold your head in your hands. Edith would love these gardens. If it were her, would she invite you to see them? Would she chase you as if you were still girls? Would the duke not fret so much for you, ignore you as so many others do? You would be only an occasional nuisance, not a pair of shackles to constrain him. 

You make yourself sit up as your sister's ghost drifts away from you. You should like to hear her voice one more time. You miss her songs and her laughter. You miss talking to her, the way she listened, the way she never falter at the errant whas or whoas of your affect. 

You rise and set your feet straight. What were those words she said to you? That she believed in you. That you could do this. Perhaps, this is what you wished for. That you take her pain instead. Would the duke have been kinder to her or just as cruel in his resent? 

You promised her. You don't care what you swore to your father or mother, but for Edith, you will do it. You will be as brave as she thought you to be. Even if you aren't. Even if you're terrified. 

You walk without a thought, twisting and turning, eyes set, steps decisive. You march into the open, away from the walls of foliage and into the sunlight that appears from behind the sheet of clouds. You turn your face up. 

You cannot be your sister, you cannot truly replace her. But you can be you and the duke will just have to accept it. After all, how can a second son begrudge a second daughter? The disparity between you is not so great after all. It cannot be if you are to be wed. 

You trod around the front of the estate and shake out your skirts, errant leaves and twigs untangling from the hem. You push your shoulders back as if your mother is their to rebuke your posture and you take the stairs with a straight spine. The doorman once more lets you past and you thank him, aloud, with more than a nod.  

You proceed through, chin up, and ascend the staircase with your eyes ahead, not on your feet. As you come to the top, you do not falter, but another does. You glance over at Lord Laufeyson as he leans back on his heel, scuffing to a halt as you breeze by. He arches a brow and you mimic his expression, a moment of reflection between you before you pass and carry on. 

You do not look back, keeping your shoulders square, and you stop before your rooms. You can sense his silhouette looming by the staircase though you do not know if he watches. You hope that he does and that he sees that you will not disassemble so easily. 

🔹

The banns are read on Sunday. You sit in the pew with your betrothed as he refuses to acknowledge you. It is not as big an insult as he may believe. You are very much acquainted with being ignored. You often prefer it. 

Upon your return to Jade Park, lunch is served. As the meals prior, you remain silent as you sit among the Odinson clan, still yet to be permitted into their ranks.  

Your appetite is as sparse as your voice. You poke at a pastry but don’t taste it. As Lord Laufeyson stirs his tea repetitively, likely out of agitation, you find the clink of the small silver spoon tweaks your already fraught nerves. 

The banns will be read once more; they were first sent to the church the Sunday prior to your departure - and must be proclaimed at least thrice before you are permitted to marry. Should you not undergo the necessary pre-marital purgatory, there may be whispers of scandal. Why should anyone rush a marriage if not for good reason? 

It is certain that you will face gossip at it were. If Lady Jane’s reaction is anything to measure by, not to mention your own fiance, then you wouldn’t like to add to your plate. Your fork sinks through the pastry and scrapes the porcelain egregiously.  

Without hesitation, Lord Laufeyson reaches over to clutch your wrist, “please.” 

You wriggle in his grasp and retract. You put your fork down and hide your hands in your lap. Your stomach is a maelstrom of emotions. Your eyes wander up to meet Odin’s as his own flit away from his son as Frigga chews behind tightly sealed lips. She swallows and clears her throat, taking a sip from her teacup. 

“So, as we await the nuptials, it would be high time for our lovely lady to debut, hm?” She declares as she perches up a little straighter, “it should be done before the wedding, I think. It wouldn’t be very fair to her should she face her wedding guests as a stranger.” 

“If you insist, you may take her to one of your ridiculous luncheons,” Loki taps his spoon on the edge of his saucer and his father sneers. Their eyes meet and the elder tilts his head dangerously. The younger plunks the spoon back in and starts to stir again. 

“Well, Loki, surely you would want to accompany her yourself,” his mother insists, “the Countess Kyringfort is holding a banquet the night after this. Perhaps we all might be free of these walls for an evening.” She offers a gentle smile, “and dear,” she looks at you, “I know you would be grateful for a distraction. Have you any letters from home since?” 

You frown at the elusion to your sister’s tragedy. It’s still raw. At the same, your sadness feels intimate to the point you are possessive of it. How can anyone who didn’t know Edith speak of her as they miss her? They all just mourn what could have been. They could have had a proper lady there in your place. 

“Naw,” the end of the word strays despite your effort, “my motha must be too distwaught to white.” 

Loki sighs and the table jerks on its legs as Odin glowers at his son. The younger flinches and gives a grunt. His father’s eyes narrow dangerously. 

“You will take your betrothed to the banquet and stop being such a petulant child,” Odin grits out. 

“Husband, he hadn’t even said--” Frigga begins.

“She is a gentlewoman. She needn’t his side eye and his sighs,” the grand duke insists. 

You’re struck by his defence of you. Your own father would only have commiserated with Lord Laufeyson’s irritation. Most would share a laugh behind their hands at your expense, and certainly they will at this banquet. 

“Lady Ky—Kyw—Ky--” you begin, trying to get it right. 

“Kyringfort,” Loki utters as if it should be simple. 

“Kywingfowt,” you insist on saying it yourself. If he will not speak to you, he will not speak for you. “I’ve never hawd of haw. You said she is a countess?” 

“Oh, she is lovely,” Frigga preens, “and an old friend, right, Loki?” 

“Yes, so she is,” he agrees, “more fond of my brother than myself.” 

“And who can hardly blame her,” Odin rebukes hotly.  

Laufeyson shakes his head and his brow arches as his nostrils flare dangerously. As unkind as he has been to you, you are empathetic to the constant reprimands from his father. You recall how Lord Thor and Lady Jane also took no issue in reproaching him. If he’d listen, he might learn that you know well what that is like. 

“Yes, he is rather amusing,” Loki mutters. “As eldest sons are given leave to be.” 

“Oh, I’ve never known a groom so gloomy,” Odin retorts. 

Laufeyson scoffs. He stills the spoon and leaves it to rest against the brim, fisting his hand on the tabletop, “do I complain?” 

“You mope like a beat dog,” Odin accuses, “my oh my, a banquet and a new wife, and you act as if you walk to the gallows.” 

“Father, you do always see the worst in me.” 

“I see an unthankful rascal. You have an estate and I ask one thing of you. The same duty of any lord and you would act as a prisoner. Well, son, you have your choice. Find a morsel of gratitude in that blackened heart of yours or seek your place at some parish,” Odin warns as he jabs a butter knife in the air. 

Tension roils in the air between the men as they glare at one another. Laufeyson snarls and it rolls up his throat. Before the noise can become words, you sit forward and touch your throat. 

“If I may, Lawd Odin,” you cheep, your voice nearly whistling in the tightness of your airway, “your son has been vewy hospitable. I have enjoyed my time at Jade Gawdens thus faw and I look fawad to calling it home. It is beautiful.” You glance over at Laufeyson as he watches you with stunned dismay, “and as we awe still stwangas I think we need some time to become ac—acwauinted.” 

You smile as best you can. It is a bitter lie. You don’t know why you should tell it but you feel as if you must. Frigga’s cheeks shake as she holds her smile and Odin scowls. 

“You lie well for him,” he shakes his head, “and still he does not see how fortunate he is.” 

Odin sits back heavily and takes his glass of sherry, downing it in a single swig. Laufeyson picks up his spoon and stirs once more, only to drop it and stand sharply. He brings his hands up, his long fingers extending, and he sputters before swiftly spinning and stomping away. 

“Next time, don’t waste your breath, lady,” Odin chortles, “you’ve better use of it.” 

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Checking In

Words: 1,855

Au: Rogue Au

For: @celestialmudd

There was no time for being sick for a Rogue Ninja.

It was one of the most important rules Yamato had learned in the first year after leaving Konoha. No matter how terrible he felt, or how much his body ached, he could not be sick. A sick shinobi was a problem.

A sick rogue was a dead shinobi walking.

his attention was divided between surviving and the pounding headache that extended from the area behind his right eye all the way around to the back of his head. His senses were dulled, and he was just barely keeping himself awake.

If an enemy showed up, they’d have an easy time taking him out.

In the state he was in, even a chunin level shinobi would have the capabilities of killing him, which was just embarrassing. He was at least a jonin level shinobi, but because he couldn’t call in sick and lay in bed all day recovering, his last day on earth may be cut short by a chunin.

Maybe even a skilled genin.

“No,” he groaned at the thought. Over the years he’d put up with a lot of disrespect, but dying at the hands of a genin was too much. He was just going to have to survive, no matter how much it hurt just to keep his eyes open.

“You look like shit.”

Whipping around, Yamato grabbed a kunai out of his weapon’s pouch and held it in front of his face. A defensive move to protect himself while he assessed the situation. The sudden movement was the last thing he should have been doing, as his head began spinning so fast he could barely make out what was in front of him.

When a hand settled onto his shoulder, he shoved it away.

“Calm down,” the voice sounded familiar, but with the world still spinning around him Yamato refused to give into that sense of security he felt creeping into him. He wasn’t sure if he was really safe, and he couldn’t let his guard down until he knew for certain.

Slowly the world came back into focus. First the trees in the background became rooted in their places once again, and then the leaves settled into their spots one at a time. Piece by piece everything fell into place until finally the spinning stopped, and he could finally see who it was standing in front of him.

Spiky silver hair was the first thing he noticed. It stood up in all directions, defying every law of gravity. Then he noticed the familiar navy blue mask and the tilted Haitai-ate that covered not only the man’s forehead, but his left eye as well.

That feeling of safety crept back in, and this time he didn’t ignore it. he lowered his weapon and let out a soft, exhausted sigh.

“A little warning would be nice, Senpai.”

“And miss seeing you try and pick a fight with me?” Kakashi continued to smile, his visible eye shut to show his unrestrained joy at the situation. “Only a fool would do that, Tenzo.”

“Don’t call me Tenzo. I’ve told you a hundred times, my name is Yamato now.”

Opening his eye, Kakashi stared at him with that soft black eye that had gotten him into trouble more times than he could count. “And how many times have I told you not to call me Senpai?”

“that’s different.”

“How?”

“I look up to you. You helped me escape from Root and find my own path. A path that includes my new name, Yamato.”

“I’m not sure ‘helping you find your own path’ is really a good thing,” Kakashi argued. “If you ask almost anyone back in Konoha, they’ll happily tell you I screwed up your life. Especially Danzo.”

“Danzo is the last person I’d think you would listen to.”

“I didn’t say I listened to him,” Kakashi defended himself. “I simply stated that he would disagree with you when you say I saved you.”

“Yes, well,” waving a dismissive hand, he peered down at the bag in Kakashi’s left hand. “What did you bring for me today? And did you make sure you weren’t followed?”

“Name one person in all of Konoha who would be able to follow me, and no you cannot say Lord Third.”

“Danzo?”

“Not a chance,” Kakashi snorted. “He succeeds because he uses other’s, not because of his own skills. Besides, to follow me he’d have to leave the safety of the village where Lord Third can’t protect him.”

“Every time we see each other you sound more and more like a rogue shinobi, you know that?” holding out a hand, he grinned when Kakashi extended his left hand handed the bag over. “All you’d have to do to make it official is leave Konoha.”

Shaking his head, Kakashi gestured toward the bag Yamato was not holding. “There are a few weeks supply in there for you. Some of your favorite tea, another notebook as you requested, and a new bingo book.”

Opening the back, Yamato peered inside. “They came out with a new one already?”

“It seems like everyone’s becoming a rogue shinobi these days,” Kakashi replied with a bored shrug. “there’s at least five new faces in this one, and they’ve even changed the prize on others.”

“they’re getting desperate, huh?”

“Trying to quell the upsurge before it overwhelms them. At least that’s what Shikaku told me when I asked about it.”

“And yet you continue to hold on,” shutting the bag, he lowered his hand to the side and stared straight at Kakashi. “Everyone else is giving up, why not you?”

An answer didn’t come straight away.

Kakashi took his time. First, he got a thoughtful look on his face, and then he crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head back so that he was looking straight up at the sky. After a few painfully quiet seconds, he lowered his head and smiled at Yamato.

That same disarming smile he’d worn when he first greeted him.

“If I leave, who will keep the rest of my precious people safe?”

“They can leave too,” Yamato argued. “Heck, if you told your friend Gai, you know that one that followed you everywhere you went?”

“He still does that,” rather than sounding annoyed, there was a fondness in Kakashi’s voice that Yamato was certain he’d never understand. If someone made it their life goal to follow him around everywhere, he’d find it annoying rather than endearing. “but I can’t ask that of him. If any of them want to take that route I will happily follow them.”

“But not me?” it hurt a little, knowing Kakashi was willing to stay in a village that had taken so much from him and given nothing back but judgement and hatred. His friendship wasn’t enough to break his bonds with the village, but the other friendships he had was more than strong enough to keep him tied to a place that didn’t care about him.

If Yamato mattered just a little bit more to his Senpai, maybe he could finally save him. Break him free from the bonds that tied him to a place that was slowly destroying him.

Before he could get too deep into his thoughts, a poke to the side of his head forced him to focus on reality once again. “you’re underestimating your worth,” Kakashi scolded him, though there was no real anger in his words. “If you weren’t worth the risk to me, I wouldn’t be here.” As he spoke, he gestured to the bag Yamato was holding. A silent reminder of the risks he’d gone through to provide him with some of those home comforts he could no longer access as a rogue shinobi.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, scolding himself for being so easy to read. Danzo had taught him better growing up, and even though he hated everything about the man some of those lesson’s were valuable to his survival. Hiding his emotions should have the one lesson he held onto the tightest, but ever since gaining his freedom it was the first lesson he’s let go of.

‘Letting go’ was probably an understatement.

Instead, he’d crumpled that lesson up into a ball and punted as far away as he possibly could.

It might be better from him to hide his emotions, and it certainly annoyed him when Kakashi could read him so easily, but he didn’t care. If there was one thing he wanted in this new life of his, it was the freedom to feel.

A freedom he’d been denied for far too long, and which he refused to deny himself ever again.

“Whoa,” Kakashi’s hand gripped his shoulder suddenly, and in that moment, Yamato realized he’d begun to sway. The headache that had been a slight annoyance earlier was now bordering on ‘excruciating pain’ and his vision was beginning to blur. “you need to be in bed.”

“I can’t,” he grumbled, thinking about the tree he’d used as his ‘bed’ the night before. It wasn’t safe for him to stay in the same place for more than a night. Sick or not, he had to keep moving.

“We’re going to make an exception for today,” without warning Kakashi stepped in front of Yamato and stared back at him. “come on, I’ll carry you to a safe place.”

“but-“

“No time to waste,” wriggling his fingers, Kakashi offered a cheerful smile that seemed to calm Yamato’s never almost instantly. “I’m not due to be back to Konoha from my mission until tomorrow. This was a little detour before I got back early, but I don’t need to rush off.”

“Senpai…”

“Don’t call me Senpai,” he insisted, though there was no annoyance in his voice this time. It was said with a more cheerful note, like a gentle reminder one would give to a child.  “trust me, Tenzo. I’ve got your back.”

I’ve got your back.

As those words reached his ears Yamato’s systems shut down. He fell forward, colliding against Kakashi’s back with a dull thud. Within seconds of catching his fall, Kakashi tucked an arm under each of Yamato’s legs and lifted him into a piggy back.

A move that was reminiscent of their short time together in Anbu. Years ago before that fateful mission where Yamato couldn’t take it anymore and finally turned his back on Konoha.

“Senpai…”

“Just sleep,” Kakashi began walking, each step he took shaking Yamato and making his stomach do flips. Searching for a little more stability, he wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s neck and held on for dear life. “I’ll find you a place to hide, and I won’t leave until I absolutely have to.”

He could have argued, but he knew the hopelessness of such an endeavour.

Kakashi had made up his mind and all he could do was accept the decision and succumb to sleeps pull.

“Best Senpai ever,” he whispered while laying his head down on Kakashi’s shoulder and closing his eyes.

“Tenzo,”

“Don’t call me Tenzo”

Laughter vibrated through Kakashi’s body, creating a comforting buzz that helped ease Yamato closer to sleep.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hiii, miss me?

Now you want to kiss me (or have to? Wasn't there a song like that?)

This month my blog turned two years old. I got the notification in my email. Last year I made an entire celebration post by publishing the funniest/ridiculous asks I got. There were good times back then. Still. Not so much afterwards.

I wasn't the nicest presence in the last few months leading to me abandoning the blog. And I wasn't too discreet about it. Although there was more to it, a lot more. But I'll get there.

First things first. Why am I here when on the 24th of March I dramatically declared that I'm leaving forever? Well, that was a very emotionally-charged post and the result of a few factors. I'm not entirely proud of how I made my exit, but it's also a true reflection of my personality so there's no point in making excuses. Nevertheless, I will explain as much as I can (I still care about privacy, just like before).

On that Friday, I woke up excited. I took a day off from work (yes...I know), I listened to Face, watched the music video. All good. But I was also dreading a bit having to come here because I knew there was this expectation of me to come up with some thought-provoking analysis, say something smart and all that. I was exhausted on all levels, emotionally and intellectually. I had also promised to leave after the promotions were over, somewhere in the middle of April (who would have thought it would last 9 days? Not me), but the plans changed. Not to drag it too much, but on that day I also officially announced to some concerned parties that I'm changing career paths. You know, just something I thought I'd be doing until the day I die and I've been working towards for at least 10 years. No big deal. I was planning on doing it anyway, but actually saying the words and make it real is a different story. I felt extatic, full of adrenaline, so happy with my decision and at that moment, it felt the right time to close BMT. It was somehow directly connected. I made the blog as an escape and now I got the opportunity to turn the page over. It was perfect. Best day ever. I clicked post, I logged out, and then I sat. And after a while, the reality of my decisions hit me in the face. And I felt sad and empty because what the hell am I doing now and what is my identity? I closed my blog too which was my main hobby. And so followed some difficult days. And then it got better. And then bad again. And so on, because it's a roller coaster.

The thing is, I can change my interests, but I can't stop myself from being opinionated. And getting excited. And wanting to talk about it. And share all that on a public platform with some strangers that are interested in what I have to say. Or they used to. It's who I am.

This blog won't remain Bangtan Media Thoughts because I want more than that. I will rebrand this page. I could start fresh with a new blog, but this is still my space and I know some people were interested in reading about other things as well from me, not just BTS. I hope I can built something from that.

The blog won't reflect only a specific niche of interests, but everything that I like in terms of pop culture. From movies, music, fashion, gossip, you name it. Including Kpop. And if I feel the need to rant about Hybe after talking about Ryan Gosling's Ken, I will. Same about JM, JK or whoever I feel like it. If there is a good advice that I got in the last few months, is to adapt and not force myself to abandon something completely. Because it's not as easy as it sounds. And to be honest, it was easier to give up smoking than completely lose interest in kpop. It's a habit. Perhaps this new blog will reflect the way I try to deal with that. A bit more honestly, a little less discourse, certainly less essays because I don't have them in me at the moment. But never say never. This blog will be all me, not just BMT.

I will change the name and url 24h after I post this. This will be an opportunity for all my followers to decide if they want to stay or they are not interested in the new direction. Feel free to do as you please. I welcome new people and greet the old ones who didn't hit unfollow for some reason.

It will go like this:

Bangtan Media Thoughts > Reflections in a Critical Eye

New theme, new profile photo, new beginnings.

All the old posts will still be here. I don't plan on deleting anything. They are all a product of me and my brain and they have their place. I'll probably pin some new posts these days that have to do with the rebranding. It will be like a construction site, but it will be worth it.

One last thing though. After I abruptly left, I received some DMs. I saw them back then. I do feel sorry about those who wanted to check in with me or with whom I used to talk regularly. But I do hope that some of the things I said today will explain my behavior. I also won't start communicating again like that, at least for now. I always felt a bit pressured and I'm not the best at maintaining conversations in private. If that changes, I'll make that clear.

That's it for now. I'm excited. I feel like writing again so here's to another chapter.

My inbox is open and will be, just as usual. No more messages to BMT, but you can call me M. Like in the Bond movies 😉

[rigelmejo]

I'm linking some of MoonIvy's reddit posts, in case you'd like to read about their language learning journey. They are awesome! They're one of the authors of the Heavenly Path Reading Guide! That guide is super helpful, and I followed a lot of it's advice (and Heavenly Path's recommendations) once I was starting to read more. Heavenly Path also has a ton of recommendations of things you can read that are different difficulty levels, so I suggest browsing their suggestions if you have no idea what to read.

Also, if you use Readibu app, the app can give you a rough estimate of the HSK level of the chapter you're reading (you'll just open the chapter you're reading, click the book icon in lower middle of screen, then click Stats. You'll see a Comprehension % by reader's HSK level). For beginners, I suggest you try to find novels that say 90% or more over the HSK 4 level, or at least 80% and up if you can't find anything easy at first. Once you've moved from graded readers to simpler kids novels like 秃秃大王, novels with a 90%+ comprehension at HSK 4 level above will be the next easiest for you to read. (Later on: if you're looking to extensively read and barely look words up, look for 95-98% comprehension at the HSK level you think you're roughly at). For example, I'm reading 盗墓笔记 and it's 93% comprehensible for HSK 5 level, 98% comprehensible at HSK 6 level, and my vocabulary range is between HSK 5-6 roughly so it makes sense I can read dmbj extensively if I want (without word lookups and still understand it), but still have several unknown words I could look up if desired.

From intermediate to native webnovels in 18 months (Some wonderful mentions of what MoonIvy read. I also read 秃秃大王, 大林和小林, and 笑猫日记 by 杨红樱 and felt they were really good novels to read after graded readers but before novels like 盗墓笔记 and 撒野).

21 months of reading native books, and breaking into native platforms

Learn Mandarin Chinese to read danmei — it will be challenging but worth it

I can read novels without a dictionary after 3 years of reading danmei (Chinese boy love)

I reached 3,000 unique character knowledge by reading children's books and danmei (Chinese boy love) 

Some little notes of my own experience, I guess in relating to the journey others took. So: for me, I read stuff WAY harder than graded readers, when I initially tried to read webnovels. It was hard, and it probably made me feel more exhausted than I needed to feel. But it was motivating. So if you really enjoy X difficult novel, you can try to read it whenever, and keep reading it as long as you feel the desire to.

There was one person who shared their reading experience on the chineselanguage subreddit (I'm trying to find the post again) who read 撒野 after like 3 months of initial study. That's way faster than I would've tried! That's a huge spike in difficulty from knowing nothing to reading a novel with thousands of unique words in a few months! But some people just will find that they enjoy doing that, and it works for them, so don't be afraid to just TRY doing what you want to do and see how it goes. It might go awesome. And if it's so hard it's demotivating, you can always go look for something easier for a while.

I tried to read 镇魂 from pretty much my first month, and never got farther than a couple paragraphs until over a year of study. I'd take a glance at it once in a while, and see if it was easier to read, until one day it was 'doable' to actually try reading (while looking unknown words up). I tried reading 默读 from like month 5 onward, usually using a parallel mtl text and only picking up a few words, it was not doable to read until maybe 1.5-2 years into learning. I was already reading the mtl of 默读 because the english translation only had like 20 chapters back then, so I just would try to read the chinese original in small sentence pieces at times. Around 8-10 months I started trying to read 天涯客, and it kind of was doable in Pleco app's Reader as long as I looked up a lot of words. It used to take me 1.5-2 hours to get through a chapter, then over the next 6 months things got better and it'd take 1 hour then 40 minutes then finally 20-30 minutes per chapter. At the same time as reading 天涯客, I also read 小王子 around month 12 extensively (looking no words up) because I had the print book and wanted to practice reading extensively, I read 笑猫日记 by 杨红樱 read in Pleco while looking up words (which was easier for me to read than 天涯客 and helped me build up reading stamina and basic vocabulary a bit), and I read a pingxie fanfic called 寒舍 by 夏灬安兰. I read around 60 chapters of that fanfic, and 30 chapters of 天涯客, over those 6 months. 寒舍 was harder to read than 笑猫日记, but easier than 天涯客, so I would switch between all 3 stories depending on how hard/easy I wanted my reading to be. Eventually 笑猫日记 felt readable without word lookups, so I used 寒舍 as my 'easier' read and 天涯客 (and added 镇魂) as my harder reads. Then 寒舍 became readable without word lookups if I wanted (still had unknown words but they no longer affected my ability to follow the plot and most important details), so 镇魂 became my harder novel to read.

And that's pretty much the strategy I continued to use: I would bounce between a 'easier' novel I could read extensively, a medium difficulty novel I could just look keywords up with (if I didn't feel like looking up a ton of words) to understand, and a 'harder' novel I had to look up words in order to read. Maybe 2 years in (I don't quite remember now), I picked some 'easier' novels from Heavenly Path's recommendations with only 1000-2000 unique words, and read some of them to fill in gaps in my basic vocabulary (so looking up unknown words) and practice extensive reading with some of them. I think that was a really helpful decision, and improved my reading comprehension and stamina a LOT. If I could go back, I would've read a lot more 'easier' 1000-2000 unique word novels before trying to push right into the novels I did. But then, on the other hand? I think pushing right into 'difficult' novels helped me learn vocabulary to read priest's writing in particular, much faster, which was rough going at the start but now pays off because I find that author's stories have more words/phrases/sentence structures I'm comfortable with, and also a decent murder mystery/investigative vocabulary base which is helpful since it's a genre I like reading. Without all the 镇魂 reading I did in the past, I think 破云 would be almost incomprehensible to me. But instead, since I did read those investigative words a lot early on, novels like 默读 and SCI are now 'medium' feeling novels to me, and 破云 is harder but readable if I look words up.

[pecandawson]

There are more than 300 Summoning Scrolls available in Dungeon Hunter 6.

In the Dungeon Hunter 6, I embarked on a grand quest with a collection of 300 summoning Scrolls. The allure of the unknown beckoned me, as I yearned for the thrill of uncovering hidden treasures and unraveling enigmatic mysteries. With a touch of opulence and a dash of elegance, I invited all to witness my journey, urging them to like and subscribe for more captivating gaming content.

But first, I delved into the realm of the unknown summonings. A myriad of opportunities awaited, as I sought the companionship of mighty melee units. My heart yearned for the elusive SSR units, the epitome of strength and prowess. As an Archer class, I possessed a formidable healer, yet the prospect of acquiring an even greater ally enticed me. The unknown summonings held the promise of greatness.

With bated breath, I embarked on the journey, unveiling the treasures hidden within the scrolls. The first to grace my presence was a five-star lieutenant, a beacon of power and potential. Another healer emerged, wielding the dual abilities of healing and shielding. A formidable force indeed, one that could prove invaluable in the battles that lay ahead. Bursting with anticipation, I continued my quest, unearthing a damage-dealing unit with the ability to weaken my foes. The allure of power and the thrill of discovery propelled me forward.

With each summoning, my desire for a melee SSR unit grew stronger. The allure of their strength and prowess beckoned me, yet I knew the path would not be easy. The journey to acquire such a formidable ally would be fraught with challenges and obstacles. But I remained undeterred, for the promise of greatness awaited.

He is truly liberated to engage in the game, my dear. Ah, this gentleman possesses remarkable strength, inflicting substantial damage and stunning his opponents. Do not underestimate his prowess, for he is truly exceptional for those who choose not to spend. Oh, divine providence! I have witnessed the appearance of that resplendent orange hue, a sign of a Super Super Rare (SSR) unit. Bestow upon me the hyped excitement that accompanies the acquisition of the Guardian, a master of control and shielding. Oh, how splendid! And he belongs to the grass type, a truly remarkable find. This, my dear, is the one we have been seeking. Furthermore, we have obtained yet another Senior Rare (SR) unit. This has been an exceptionally fruitful ten-pull, for we have secured the SSR frontliner, a potential main character in our grand journey. We could choose to skip the animation, but I must confess, I am rather fond of it. Let us proceed, my dear. We have exhausted six of our ten pulls, leaving us with four remaining. Very well, we shall proceed one by one, savoring each moment. Ah, behold! We have acquired 93 and four, and what is this? We have obtained something else as well. Ah, we have the opportunity to craft additional units, my dear. Look at this abundance of trolls! We can create more SR units with these resources. Furthermore, we have obtained yet another one of these and another one of those. Ah, this one is a fiend of ranged damage. I shall endeavor to create a tier list, my dear, and we shall embark on various endeavors with these lieutenants. As I have mentioned countless times before, the lieutenants are the cornerstone of this game. And what do we have here? An SSR unit! Oh, the anticipation is palpable. Wait, there is more to come. Ah, here it is! We have obtained an SR unit as well. Marvelous! We have acquired him once again. This stalwart individual shall serve as our main tank, for we have summoned him twice. This means we can enhance him to the sixth level, solidifying his position as a formidable force.

Grant me the embrace of the death knight or bestow upon me a sapphire hue, for I beseech thee, my good sir, it is truly disheartening when a legendary summon yields naught but a blue. Such disappointment weighs heavily upon my soul. Let the resounding applause of the like button rain down upon this highborn content, transforming it into a vibrant shade of orange, nay, even purple. Behold, a new revelation unfolds before my eyes, a wrathful healing and purging ability. Pray tell, what wonders does this Purge possess? It summons a celestial circle that mends the wounds of all allies, while also possessing the power to dispel their afflictions. Furthermore, it unleashes a skull-shaped missile that inflicts heroic damage upon our foes. Alas, their repertoire consists of only two skills, a modest offering indeed. Alas, this is our final encounter, and I dare not gaze upon it. Grant me the death knight I yearn for, or grant me... I hesitate to utter the words, for the constraints of this platform forbid it. Oh, dear heavens, not this soldier once more! We have encountered him countless times, a million, nay, a jillion gazillion times! My frustration knows no bounds. Alas, I am filled with regret, for I have failed to properly curate my wish list. The oversight is unfathomable, and I shall scour through the footage during the editing process to confirm my negligence. How could I have forgotten the wish list? It cannot be, it simply cannot be. My mind is in disarray, my friends, as we continue to be plagued by these melancholic blues. This, my dear companions, is our final encounter. 

[moonslittlestar]

Reminiscing

“You made a pact with a Devil?!” Hunter's voice shook in anger, his fist clenched tight by his side. Wyll has never seen him so mad before, as teens both boys were fairly level headed and any anger that tried to raise in them was swiftly taken out on training dummies in the courtyard.

“I..” Wyll’s eyes drifted to the ground, his weight shifting from one leg to the other, “What else was I to do? Let that beast destroy the city?! Kill thousands of innocents?! What would you have me do?” He finally barked back.

The air around them stirred, the moon was high in the sky and the river beside the bank they sat on glistened under its light. Behind them, the distant sound of a crackling fire and muffled snores from the others that traveled with them. It was late, and the glasses of wine were almost empty.

Hunter examined Wyll's face; he'd aged, they both had… there were new scars that weren't there before, and the bags under his eyes told tales of many sleepless nights. Despite all his differences, he was still Wyll, the same Wyll he'd trained for 6 years with, fought side by side during a great many battles, the same Wyll that stood by his side when everything went to shit with his twin sister Willow and the same Wyll that he once believed could be his soulmate… “I… don't know” Hunter sighed, finally replying after a paused silence; what could Wyll have done?

“Hunter, the city was going to be torn apart. I did what I had to to keep Baldur's Gate safe” Wyll's voice was soft, calm and reassuring, “I don't regret my choices.”

“You left, for me?” Wyll asked, confused. “What of your sister?” Wyll couldn't help but feel guilty; Hunter had joined the Flaming Fists as a young boy, his dream to one day get to a place where he'd be able to help fix the system and help his sister. For so many years Wyll had watched Hunter push himself to the point of exhaustion just to become the best. They'd spar in the training grounds every night, helping each other with their swordsmanship. Those days where Hunter would collapse mid session, it was all for Willow. Leaving couldn't have been an easy choice for him to make. Wyll joined Hunter in emptying his cup in a swift swig.

Hunter gulped down the last of his arabellan dry and wiped his hand over his lips, his eyes focused on Wyll's fingers around the neck of his chalice. “I left the Fists.” His voice was flat and tired, like all emotion had been drained from him.

“But your dream? I don't understand? You were so close to becoming a Marshal?”

“After the battle… things became… weird?” Hunter paused again, “You vanished Wyll. No one would tell me if you were alive or dead!” His voice cracked. Hunter squeezed his eyes shut, forcing a tear back, “How can someone go from being so admired by everyone to suddenly no one acknowledging they ever existed?” The words were bitter in his mouth, his knuckles turned white. Wyll sat beside him unable to say anything to console his friend, instead he eyed the last of the wine in his chalice as he rocked it back and forth. “I demanded answers, that upset your father… said I was ‘overstepping’ and ‘meddling where I shouldn't’… So… I left…” Hunter unclenched his fist and wiggled his fingers before taking it in his other hand and rubbing his knuckles, “to look for you…” his voice trailed off, the tips of his pointed ears turning red.

“Shortly after you disappeared, I started hearing rumors that she'd joined the Temple of Bhaal…” Hunter's voice was small, a sadness etched into his words from the weight of guilt and failure. “I was a fool to think I could save her…” he continued, so quietly that he may as well have been talking to himself.

“You can't blame yourself for her path,” Wyll tried to reassure Hunter, placing his hand gently on Hunter's cold, clasped fingers, and squeezed. Wyll's touch was warm and welcomed; under his hand Hunter's fingers ached. “It's a little late now, I know, but for what it's worth; I am sorry. I should have taken you with me.” Wyll scanned Hunter's face, who's eyes refused to meet him. “That I do regret.” Wyll's hand still gently placed over Hunter's, “After I made the pact, I was forced to leave. I tried to explain things to my father but, well you know how stubborn he can be.” Wyll chuckled to himself, “I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree,” he smiled slightly as he rubbed one of his new found horns with his free hand. “You stopped me doing a terrible thing today,” he sighed, looking behind them to the campsite of sleeping bodies. “To think I was such a fool! Mizora said I'd be fighting demons, fiends and the heartless, not innocent Tieflings!”

“There was no way for you to know, if it wasn't for these damn tadpoles…” Hunter thought back on the vision they shared with Karlach. A moment of silence washed over them as they contemplated the outcome of the day. Karlach’s life had been spared but at a cost; Wyll's horns curved around his head, a visible reminder of his actions.

“More wine?” Hunter asked, breaking the silence that floated around them, Wyll nodded and handed Hunter his cup. “You make quite the handsome devil,” Hunter giggled as he walked back over with two topped up chalices.

“I can't tell if you're joking or being serious.” Wyll took the chalice from Hunter, their fingers softly brushing past each other as the cup was passed between them. Hunter smiled to himself and returned to his spot next to Wyll, “Have I ever lied to you?” He smirked, “Actually on second thought don't answer that!”

“I do recall a time where you insisted that the clear liquid in your flask was water… oh and that time you said that that one feral cat just happened to follow you into the dorms… and what about the time-”

“Ok, ok! Sheesh” Hunter laughed, “Do you really need to remember such trivial things?” Wyll chuckled lightly.

“It's good to see you again, would have been nicer under better circumstances though” Wyll's smile was soft and sincere.

[trivialbob]

This morning I woke up at the insane time of 3:15 AM. Shockingly, I felt well rested. I read in bed for a while, finally finishing a book the library automatically renewed twice. I did not care for the ending. It seemed like the author looked at his watch or calendar and realized there's a deadline, so time to cram a lot of action and resolution into nine pages and call it done.

Then I got up and started laundry. I like doing laundry. That's why my wife doesn't care what I spend on a washer and dryer. She's relieved of laundry duty.

Of course I don't waste money on some machine that gives me a choice of chimes to signal the end of the cycle. I have a solid, practical washer/dryer combo. If they were cars they'd be Toyota Camrys, the XLE trim level, and probably with the V6.

After brewing and ingesting a fair amount of coffee I washed all the bedding in the house. Sunrise today was 6:56 AM. Any awake neighbors might have laughed at me because I was hanging sheets, a blanket, and a quilt on my clothesline two hours before the darkness left. Even the bats likely thought I was crazy.

When it finally got light outside I took the dogs to the airport dog park. Plane-watching sucked. We saw some other Aussies, which always makes me smile.'

When Ella, Oliver, and Sulley were tired I brought them home, Then I got my Surly Cross Check out for a ride. I did a ten mile loop around the three Minneapolis lakes I enjoy being at. The weather was perfect.

Later, grocery shopping followed by making the beds and cleaning around the house.

Sulley still had energy. He's a year-and-a-half old. Ella is 12 and Oliver is 10. It really pissed off the older dogs when I took only Sulley for a walk around Lake Harriet. The other two would have been too exhausted to complete the 2.8 mile loop, though Ella would have liked a swim.

Now I think I understand why Sulley did poorly in obedience school. He's rarely on a leash. Between our fenced-in back yard and the mostly fenced-in dog park, that boy isn't used to having a leash on except to go from the car to the park gate or when he's in a brewery.

At the lake the first ten minutes were awkward as he and I figured out leash protocol. Then it got easy. He was very well behaved. Now I'm starting to think of trying another obedience class, after I take him on more leashed long walks.

Top picture is a view of Bde Maka Ska from a bike path. That's the Dakota name that replaced Lake Calhoun as the lake's current name. The second picture is the trolley car that runs from Lake Harriet to Bde Maka Ska. The operator rang a bell to warn Sulley and me to not attempt to cross the street as the trolley approached. It was kind of cute.

Now I'm going to eat a Jimmy John's sub and watch the final season of Succession. I don't like waiting week by week for new episodes. I waited for some time and now I can binge watch it.

[silvergolddraco28]

Cursed Ink

2 Caged

The rocky plateau the two monkeys were on changed in a swirl of colors and ink revealing that they were now on Flower Fruit Mountain yet it was not as vibrant as Wukong was used to seeing it. ”Welcome to your new home Peaches.” ‘Macaque’ grinned standing once more while ink pooled onto a simple pond-like surface revealing two teenagers appearing in a village dressed in familiar clothing. Wukong’s eyes went wide and his heart sank. ‘Mk! Mei! What are the cubs doing in the scroll?!?’ Wukong thought struggling to break the ‘ropes’ while muffled chirps of warning came from his throat.

”Easy Peaches. I’ll let them pass as long as they follow the story and don't try to interfere. But if they do then you’ll have to take responsibility for what they do. After all, it's the parent’s duty to protect their cubs isn't that right? If you behave, their journey won't be as traumatic as yours was.” ‘Macaque’ explained.

‘Macaque’ slashed his claws at Wukong’s chest, easily tearing through the clothes Wukong wore smirking when he was finished. Wukong was now only in the loose pants he wore while some shreds of his clothing clung to his shoulders and wrists showing off his heavily scarred chest. ”I’ll leave you to explore while I check on the others sealed here. Fair warning, you won't be able to leave the old Territory and the Palace is at the heart of your new ‘cage’ so to speak.” ‘Macaque’ stated before fading into a pool of ink, with that the muzzle and ropes on Wukong burst splattering Wukong’s fur in even more ink.

“Damn that cocky creature,” Wukong muttered. His fingers throbbed from the mild pain of his claws being ripped out as more of his illusions began to fail from the lack of Chi he had.

“I need to get out of here and find the cubs fast!” Wukong stood and nearly buckled from his own exhaustion, hitting him like a sucker punch to the gut. He bit his lip, drawing blood, forcing his body to move as he ran through the faintly familiar paths to get off the island only to slam into a thick gray barrier at the edge of the forest bordering the beach. Wukong snarled in frustration landing a strong punch that would normally level a medium-sized mountain. Instead, Wukong felt like he had just hit his own staff as his knuckles split and bled slightly from the force that rippled like jelly through the barrier.

Wukong’s red and gold eyes blazed with power as he activated his Eye of Truth, biting back a growl at the complex and complicated spellwork woven into the barrier. It was made specifically for him in mind with an almost flawless design. Almost. The real Macaque had a special back for perfectly flawless spellwork and compared to the real thing this fake was an amateur. Wukong gathered power on his next strike and hit the barrier right where the weak point was only to be blown backward skidding on the dirt before righting himself to a stop shaking. “A trap in a barrier... Mac hasn't done that in centuries...” Wukong muttered grimacing seeing his pants turn up along the sides from skidding and his boots ruined as his eyes of truth glitched out. His power was now simply running at a bare minimum and sheer will was the only thing keeping him standing and conscious at the moment.

Instinct had him dodging to the left as a thick ink-black chain whipped out from somewhere behind him wrapping around a nearby tree trunk before bursting into an explosion of ink. “You're not catching me this time.” Wukong stated narrowing his eyes and letting his senses heighten to their fullest to dodge the incoming whip-like chains.

He panted slightly before a single chain firmly caught him around the waist. “Damn!” Wukong cursed before he was yanked off his feet, losing his balance as more chains wrapped around his torso pinning his arms to his sides while his legs were bound together. He crashed to the dirt growling as ink trailed up his neck and formed that muzzle once more with footsteps coming from his left.

”I see you came in contact with the barrier Peaches. You should have just walked away from it instead of making me angry.” ‘Macaque’ scowled, lifting the bound golden monkey off the ground and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Wukong struggled growling deeply as he was taken deep into the forest down an unfamiliar path before his eyes were covered by black cloth. ”I would rather not ruin the surprise I have for you Peaches. I found him trying to get into the barrier before the sentries caught him.” ‘Macaque’ spoke.

Wukong only spared a split second to think over who would guess to look on the mountain for him and only one person came to mind. ‘Mac!’ Wukong thought before he was tossed to the ground slamming against a wall. The impact left him partially dazed while something warm spread behind his head. ‘I think I just got a concussion... Haven't had one of those since I picked up the staff.’ Wukong idly thought his ears were ringing before the sound returned.

“Wukong! What did you do to him, bastard?!?” snarled an all too familiar voice. One that both made his heart skip in beats yet break at the heavy guilt.

”I simply did what you are far too ignorant to do.” the ink creature replied. “You're supposed to be the Six-Eared Macaque, Master of the Winds, Shadows, and Metals with the ability to hear the past, present, and future making an omniscient being that rivals even the very Gods... Yet you're nothing but a coward hiding in your own shadow under assumption under assumption. Perhaps that's why the Brotherhood wanted to kill you off without Peaches’ knowledge after the fight in Heaven.” the ink demon coldly replied. ”All you have done is throw it all away the moment you went on that temper tantrum against Tripitaka. So blinded by rage you didn't even notice Peaches was in physical pain and under orders from the very Gods to not let Tripitaka be killed. What did that bout of blind anger accomplish? Nothing! Absolutely nothing but more indirect abuse and conformity. Unlike you Luier Mihou I know everything that happened on that Journey thanks to the Ten Kings and the countless souls of Celestials, Demons, and Humans embed in my very ink.”

Like Comment and fuel my imagination. I'd love any art as I'm practically worthless at drawing. I can trace and color but drawing free hand? I’d literally burn the page with the eraser.

[mareenavee]

Snippets Someday

Howdy again :> I was tagged by @dirty-bosmer to share more snippets. I'm also mid ground-up edit and even during the course of this, I can see the level ups so I'm happy to share. Picking a favorite chapter is HARD though, I must say. While I'm in it, it's hard to see what makes a chapter a favorite, but during the editing process, sometimes certain turns of phrase really make me proud of my past self and my last three braincells :> I think this should be normalized. Our writing is good and worthy and we are all doing our best.

Tagging the most esteemed: @paraparadigm, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thana-topsy, @polypolymorph, @thequeenofthewinter, @snippetsrus, @rhiannon1199, @oblivions-dawn, @airiat, @the-storytellers-seer, @archangelsunited, @inquisition-dragonborn, @saltymaplesyrup, @friend-of-giants, @gilgamish, @tallmatcha, @miraakulous-cloud-district, @kookaburra1701, @rainpebble3 and HONESTLY anyone else who wants to play this game! Tag me back so I can read more snippets!!

Rules:

Rules: Revisit an old fic (or earlier chapters of your current WIP) and share a snip from: * Your first chapter * Your favorite chapter * Your most challenging chapter Alternatively, if you don't write longfic, feel free to share your one-shots. Provide as much or as little commentary as you want.

Under the cut for snips from The World on Our Shoulders!

First Chapter: Chapter 1 - Prologue (Ah. The drama. Laid out like a picnic. Immediately. Without holding anything back.)

It had been months now, time inching ever closer to a year away. The last letter she wrote home to him was before the most recent complication to their situation. It had been filled with lies, of course, as most of her correspondence had been for some time now. He wrote all the time, even when he had no word from her. Though he was always reaching, even in the distance, as far away as she could keep him, it had become so easy to ignore his hands. She stooped with just a small bit of discomfort and picked up the soft shirt she had been drying in the sun. She had already wrapped her chest, and packed away her lighter armor for travel which had been scrubbed clean. Next to her bag, a crumpled letter, smoothed over many times, lay taunting her to read it again. The ink was smeared in places, perhaps written hastily and folded before it had a chance to dry. He hadn’t bothered to use the good parchment this time, either. She looked over the correspondence once again, searching and not finding anything of interest or note. There was nothing between these lines. That was part of the problem. He commented once again on the last letter she sent, and then begged her to come home. She had burned a thousand of these. Maybe not that many, but enough. And she never answered the persistent question: when? Because the answer, after a time, had become never. And Nyenna wasn’t sure how to phrase that nicely. There likely wasn’t a way.

Favorite Older Chapter: Chapter 8 - Haunted by the Ghost of You (I have a couple more new favorites but this did mention older chapters. I enjoy the ache of these doomed ships so here we are.)

Athis was exhausted. The weight of his thoughts, his worries, his sadness had him crumbling. Once, he could have turned to her and she’d take it all away. One kiss, one glance, and he would be okay again. She was his home, his shelter, his safety. He thought he’d given her that, too, but like with everything else, her path had taken this from her as well. Nowhere felt like home, once again, for either of them. That emptiness was tearing into his soul at this point. It had been just like before he even made it to Skyrim. Nothingness. Hopelessness. He couldn’t help inviting it in. There was nobody else in here, anyway. He had tried to push the bad memories away from him all this time, but in the void, they crept back in. Reminded him of all his terror, ceaseless in their torment. He sighed and leaned his forehead against his arms as he curled in on himself. “I can’t do this by myself, love. I really need you here,” he whispered to the ghost of the girl he remembered, singing in the kitchen with autumn eyes full of love and hope. She didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t. She was gone, and Athis knew no matter when Nyenna next came home, that girl in his memories would never, ever return.

Challenging Older Chapter: Chapter 12 - What Am I Capable Of? (Arguments, arguments, arguments. Hard to get into the headspace of.)

“I choose what I do with my life,” he insisted, trying hard and failing to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “You don’t get to tell me who and what I am capable of saving, even if you are this legendary hero.” And he knew they were fighting words. He knew because lately, especially, things being wrested out of her control caused so much pain and confusion. It was a sore point, an argument waiting to happen no matter who was on the other end. She did level her gaze on him again, and this time he could see a malice behind it, even if it did not belong entirely to her. “So you would have me relive this fear every battle? You would distract me from what I’m supposed to do just because you think I need to be saved?” she said, words icy. And he didn’t mean that, no. He knew she was deflecting. Trying to cover up her uncertainty, her hesitancy. The fact that she didn’t believe in herself, not even a whit, even when he knew she should. “Is that how you see me, Nyenna? A distraction?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed. It hurt to dig like this, but they were her words. Could she not hear how absurd this all sounded? She exhaled through her nose. Crossed her arms over her chest. Looked away. “There were minutes in our last fight where I couldn’t be sure if you were alive or dead,” she said after a moment, shoulders sagging under the weight of the revelation. “It was like I was back at the border, watching Eris be cut down, taken from me forever, and all I could do was keep running. I had to leave him behind – couldn’t help even if I knew the magic then. And the ghost of that decision has stayed with me. It is unceasing, relentless fear, Athis. I can’t just make it go away. It’s always on my mind. What could happen to you is always on my mind.” She didn’t exactly answer the question, nor did she apologize for her turn of phrase. But this was the heart of it. Fear. Something he could understand. He peeled one of her hands away from herself and held it in his.

[demonbirdsforever]

Emotions by LadyLark

Raven:

I spent my entire life being in control. It wasn’t easy or fair, but I new it had to be done. I understood. It’s just always so exhausting. I’m so… tired. I want to feel something. I can’t though, not any extreme emotions at least. The common emotions are safe. It’s the extreme ones that are dangerous. Love, despair, rage… these can’t be released. These can’t be truly felt. It doesn’t help that as a planet level empath. I feel all of these. All the time. Especially when a person dies. That’s the worst, cause each and every time. Feels like losing a friend. Some days I can get though it. Other’s… not so much.

Today is one of those bad days. Today, unfortunately we also visited the Justice League. My family know better than to do certain things, when I’m having a bad day. The Justice League… not so much. They are aware of how powerful of an empath I am. I guess it didn’t really register what that actually meant. So after my curt conversation with the League, I left. I just couldn’t stay a moment longer.

Damian:

Raven’s curt words & hasty exit are a clear indication. That she was having a bad day. It’s generally best to leave it. Some thing’s just can’t be fixed. All you can do is take one step at a time.

Hours Later:

The Titans are heading out. When they end up crossing paths with Black Canary and Green Arrow. How they walked. The redness in there cheeks. The giggling…

Damian: “Unfucking Believable.”

Black Canary: “Excuse me?!”

Damian ignores her and continues to walk away.

Black Canary: “Hey! Show some respect!”

Damian rounds on her.

Damian: “You first!”

Black Canary: “What the Hell is that supposed to mean?!”

Green Arrow: “Maybe we should do this in a more private setting?”

Starfire: “I concur this isn’t the place, Damian.”

Damian clenches his fists.

Damian: “You know what? I disagree! I think this is the perfect place for this conversation! After all, if they truly wanted privacy. They wouldn’t have done what they did.”

Green Arrow: “Now wait, just a damn minute! We didn’t do anything in public, but in the privacy of our room here at the League!”

Damian: “Behind closed doors doesn’t always mean privacy. Especially when certain people visit the League.”

Black Canary & Green Arrow start to redden with both embarrassment and rage.

Black Canary: “If this is about Raven visiting. She should know better than to poke around. Especially when a married couple is having alone time. That’s not our fault for something she did!”

Damian: “You two are truly more stupid than I thought. Raven’s abilities are attached to her emotions. As a planet level empath she’s even more sensitive than most. Sometimes no matter how well trained you are, slipping occurs. Especially when big incidents like a certain earthquake causing many tragedies. Can cause even the most talented people, moments of vulnerability. The meeting was planned weeks in advanced. That earthquake wasn’t all that long ago. You’d think two capable adults would at least have the decency to respect a sensitive empath like Raven. By simply keeping it in there pants for a few mere hours.”

Green Arrow: “Well when you put it like that. It makes us look like complete jerks. Looks like we’ve got an apology to deliver Love.”

With a horrific look on her face.

Black Canary: “Yes it looks like that.”

Starfire: “I don’t think that’s a good idea, right now.”

With questions on there faces. They wait for Starfire to explain.

sighing Star continues.

Starfire: “Other than the fact that it’s embarrassing to Raven that she lost control. As well as being horrified that she invaded your privacy. Something she takes very seriously. Raven is no doubt in a state of jealousy.”

Black Canary: “Jealousy?”

Starfire: “With her powers being connected to her emotions. Raven can’t ever not be in control of her emotions. Feeling the freedom you two have and knowing she will never experience herself. Is probably a horrible thing to experience.”

Black Canary: “oh…”

Green Arrow: “I guess we’re gonna have to be more careful next time. As well as discreetly let the rest of the League know not to repeat our mistakes. It’s the least we can do for Raven.”

Damian: “tt! At least you have some brains in that skull of yours”

Though very furious Black Canary chooses not to punch him. Just this once…

Raven:

I feel my family enter and Damian especially. His worry and angry is particularly strong today. He must have realized what had happened. Eventually he walk into my room. We stare at each other. Than he sits behind me. We proceed to cuddle.

I may never be able to truly experience the full spectrum of emotions, but I can feel contentment… peacefulness. I take it with relief.

The End

(Hey all! I hope this one is a good one. Enjoy!😁)

[khaicrafts]

They lived in an age where life seemed picture perfect through the photos posted on social media. It was easy to get a little envious of his classmates posting their highlight reels while he was busying every brain cell he had to work on his projects in the lab; his true passions that made it seem like he was missing out on life.

Little did he know, life was really just beginning. There was nothing on Instagram or Snapchat that could compare to his new surroundings in the camp inhabited by creatures of myth. Finding out that he kind of was one too via his divine blood?

"This is so epic," he whispered. Knelt in front of the statue of Hephaestus, the chalice of liquid held in his hands. The substance that would trigger his latent powers. That's right. He was going to get POWERS and he didn't have to hey bitten by some insect or...well. He may as well had been an orphan...bit he lacked Bruce Wayne's inheritance. He had that brilliance though.

The choice was clear. Mostly. Every other second that passed, he wondered if he should really be giving up to be here after he worked so hard to build himself. Then again, why live in the world mundane when he could be divine....

"It's like an elixir...it's gonna build strength. It's going to level me up..." He mumbled to himself. Then, he quickly guzzled down the ambrosia. It seemed fine at first until the world around him began to fade. He fell back until he hit the bed he'd once slept on those years in his group home. That twinge of seeing the other kids always leaving or actually being adopted. That...didn't matter anymore? Why was he even here and thinking about that? He was an adult now and actually doing well. He had his education. He had the lab at school. Which...

He noticed something on fire outside the bedroom window. Across the way, the familiar large structure of one of the school's labs was up in flames. How could he see the school from his old bedroom? Each wad on completely different sides of the country...

"You're so chained to your accomplishments. You pride your work over your heart." A fiery facsimile of the professor who guided him on his path to tech school spoke to him with an even tone, but he could hear the underlying aggression. "What's all that work for when you don't have a fami-"

"I've seen the Princess and the Frog, Mam." Khai interjected as he squinted at the figure. "I know how you're going to steer this conversation. Just because I value my work doesn't mean I can't find value in people or welcome them into my life. On my terms, I either fuck with them or I don't, vice versa but my mind, will always be my crown to show off. " Khai retorted. His boldness only led to the sudden combustion of himself. His glasses, cardigan and dark hair burned away, revealing his muscular physique, ash blonde hair, and his brown eyes now burning fiery orange; literally molten.

"This is my fate right? I'll use my brilliance to help guide the course of history. With great power cones great responsibility, I know this! And, yo? I've just noticed..." he looks down at his unharmed yet burning physique. "THE FIRE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ANYWAY." He belted before feeling the heat only intensify until finally the whole room erupted...

Only hours later did the son of Hephaestus find himself waking up in the bed of his cabin. It felt like a horrible hangover. He coughed, smoke escaping from between his lips as he smirked lazily.

"I always knew I was kinda fire, but damn. Hold up, did I just go Super Saiyan!?" the thought pinged in his mind as he recalled the color change of his hair. He bolted up and tried to get to his feet, only to fumble and realize how exhausted he truly still was while he faceplanted into the floor of his room.

"Not Super Saiyan enough..."

[thisisnotjh]

I quit my corporate job.

I've been working for the past five years as a public accountant and it's just this year that I decided to take a break. I quit my job and went back to my hometown to reconnect with the person I was before my life became this hectic.

All my life I've always strived to be successful in a lot of things. At a young age, I was taught to believe that my achievements defined me. I didn't know that years later that would fuck me up.

The fear of failure grew much larger and stronger than my ability to keep up with the hunger to prove myself through what I can and can't do, especially at work. I didn't think that it would slowly shift my belief to an entirely different level of self-sabotage.

I became persistent to excel at my job and give more than what my mind could take until I started getting sick, skipping meals, and developing numerous body discomfort due to bad posture, staying seated for hours on end hunched over my laptop trying to meet impossible deadlines for my clients. I was hospitalized thrice last year, excluding all the times I tried to just take the day off at home even when my body felt like giving up.

It was the worst time for my physical health ever.

I started my job at a new company while still trying to recover from contracting the COVID-19 virus, and still I pushed through the employment, packed up my things and moved to a different city, because I thought this was my only chance, my only opportunity given the experience I'm trying to build and career path that I was slowly creating for myself. I couldn't let it slip away, but I've come to know, at what cost?

Nobody would ever prepare you for the life away from everything you've felt comfortable and easy. The loneliness of showing up to my soul-sucking job everyday for the fear of not being able to sustain myself and my family took a toll on my mental health. What my body was experiencing during times of stress at work was magnified by the constant back and forth of trying to weigh in on quitting and giving myself that peace of mind it's been longing for or die penniless, literally and figuratively.

I don't know what I'm going to do now.

I've got job offers from other companies but I'm not sure if I'm ready to put myself out there again, after such an exhausting struggle to get out of the system and let myself breathe for the first time in a while.

I don't know.