#and if my own actual mother. like my actual mother who bought me gas station candy..will leave me like that without even

[deadsetromance]

literally anything with gerard way please im begging

FORGET ME

not my gif!

gerard way x gn!reader

summary:  you can’t tell if you’re unwelcome in the band, or if you’re reading too much into things. maybe it would be best if you just left…

warnings: angst! , language, non edited writing. a happy ending if you read between the lines.

note:  thank you for the request!!! i hope you enjoy ! i’ve seen several ideas like this and i finally thought i’d try my hand with a band scenario :)

you wished things were simpler.

you wished gerard wouldn’t toy with your feelings the way he did. you wished there was more to it all then holding hands in the darker corners of the backstage lots. you wished you could show more than shy glances and quiet whispers when you were wrapped together in hotel beds. you wished you actually knew what you had with him.

you wished he wasn’t the lead singer and that you weren’t just the drummer.

for once, you wanted to be selfish…to put your foot down and scream, and say that it wasn’t fair. you wanted to be able to have it your own way, to finally be able to breathe.

but you were never really good at sticking up for yourself.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you never particularly liked the way you looked in magazines. maybe it was the poses, or the fake blood, or…. it didn’t matter though, you promised your mother you’d send her one. you did it with every magazine you’d find in convince stores, you’d write her a note and have the guys sign it for you before you posted it off to her. 

the issue you were flipping through boasted an “exclusive” interview with the members of my chemical romance on page thirteen, and you smiled thinly. at least the pictures they used were nice. 

the man at the register cleared his throat, and you looked up. “you gonna pay for that?” you looked around, to find the store empty. he gestured at you again, and you quickly walked up to the counter, pulling out your wallet. your shoes squeaked against the linoleum.

you stood awkwardly as he rang you up. was he looking at you funny, or were you just imagining it? you didn’t speak much as you paid, handing over a five dollar bill. you would have bought a pack of cigarettes too, but frank had borrowed money from you, and all you had was whatever change you got from the five. 

you banged your elbow on the way out of the market. it was colder outside compared to the store, perhaps because of the morning rain. hopefully they had the heater on in the bus.

if only the bus had been in the parking lot.  

like the inside of the store, the parking lot was empty. they had left you behind. again.

you used the payphone behind the gas station to call gerard. when he didn’t answer, you called frank, then mikey, then ray. no one answered. you should have expected it, really. 

you had no money for a taxi. it seemed as if you had no choice but to walk to the hotel, though you didn’t know where that was. you walked away from the store, guessing which direction the bus went. it was a shot in the dark, and all you could do was hope that it wouldn’t start raining as you walked.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

the cuffs of your jeans were soaked by the time you made it to the hotel. it was late, and the hotel staff looked mildly worried at your arrival.

they told you that the others had arrived earlier, and already settled into the room. they had headed out to a restaurant without a care as to where you were. 

you had your pick of bed, though your choice was limited to one or the other.it was a sort of roulette to see who you would be sharing with. you’d go to bed angry tonight, bitter, and fall asleep long before they came back from dinner. 

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

 you had a headache. the lights in the interview room seemed too bright, and the arm of the sofa wasn’t very comfortable. gerard woke you up earlier than you would have liked. it was fine though… you just had to finish the interview first and then you could sleep on the bus. you tried not to think about the morning, when you had woken up curled into gerard. maybe you should have slept on the couch, saved yourself the trouble of whatever inner turmoil you had going on. 

you didn’t speak much, with most of the questions being directed to gerard and frank. not that you minded, because the interview would go by faster that way. 

the journalist was a guy you knew from kerrang! you couldn’t remember where you met him though…maybe at a gig or…

“i hate to make you pick favorites, but for this next question you’re gonna have to.” now you remembered. he did a one-on-one a few months ago, backstage before a festival. “let’s start with gerard.” 

you didn’t really want to answer the question, so you listened instead. you’d make something up when it was your turn, and hopefully you were last to answer. 

“well, thats hard… i mean i love all the guys, and mikey’s my brother, and frank and ray are so talented…i dunno” gerard laughed, sliding down the couch. 

frank looked like he was about vibrate out of his seat as he beamed at the camera. “well, ray is just an amazing artist and he get’s so fuckin’ into what he does.”“i mean i, guess he’s my favorite, because i’ve just learned so much from him, really.” 

ray was next. “well i mean i get along with them all, but i think i’d have to say gerard, just because i’ve known him for the longest.” 

you wanted to yell at the interviewer for asking the question. you felt like you were going to puke as you waited for mikey to think about it. “uh…i don’t… i mean maybe my brother gerard?” 

you pretended not to care that you hadn’t been mentioned once. was it because you were a drummer? because you hadn’t been with them since the start? because you were replaceable? 

“y/n? what about you?” you’d pretend their answers didn’t hurt, and so you smiled just as bright as before. you just had to get through this interview and then you could take a nap on the bus. 

“i don’t really think that’s a fair question,” you just had to answer a few more questions and then you could get back on the bus. “y’know i don’t really think i have a favorite. well, i mean…can’t i say that they’re all my favorites? guess i love them all the same.” hopefully they wouldn’t ask you to elaborate, because you didn’t know if you could.

you felt like it was too quiet when you finished talking. maybe it was shame…maybe you should have kept your mouth shut and picked someone.

the interview felt like it dragged on after. you tried to stay on your best behavior, but as every minute passed by you felt the life drain out of you. 

the interviewer didn’t notice the way your smile dropped every time you were ignored, or spoken over. he didn’t notice, but the fans watching the interview would. 

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you felt drained. interviews always made you stressed, and added onto the poor nights sleep you had last night, you felt awful. 

the interview went terribly, so you smoked by the dumpster behind the building. hopefully you could forget about everything.

 frank had been talking to one of the producers, but they should have wrapped everything up by now. you put out your cigarette and headed back to the bus.

you would have been worried about keeping everyone waiting, but it was clear that you hadn’t. they had left without you. again.

never in your life had you felt so small. you wanted to scream, or, cry, or do something. you didn’t. it was instinctual, the phone number you dialed was second nature. 

your voice was calm as you told gerard to turn the bus around. you didn’t care to hear his explanation, if he gave one at all. you waited for them to come back and pick you up.

you didn’t understand how they forgot about you again, and again, and again. fuck, this time you had been sitting right next to them for nearly an hour. yet you were gone for less then five minutes, and they had forgotten about you. 

you didn’t understand how gerard could be so sweet to you, only to act like you didn’t exist. he was gentle when he woke you up, when you found yourself wrapped in his arms. so why did he forget about you so often? why did he ignore you, and speak over you? he made everything so much harder.

the bus pulled into the parking lot before you could think about anything too deeply.

you ignored them and their pleas and apologies. you didn’t care, and you were far too tired to put up with their bullshit. 

frank followed you to your bunk, but you pushed him away, pretending to read the magazine on your bed. it took time, but in the end he got the hint and left you alone. 

irony was bitter on your tongue when you looked at the page you had opened to. it was the magazine you bought from the convenience store the day before, opened to your interview.

you could hear a whispered conversation coming from the front of the bus, and you grit your teeth. still, your eyes scanned over the print, intrigued, because you couldn’t remember that particular interview for the life of you.

“…oh yeah, touring with my chem is just an amazing experience! i mean i’ve only been with them for a year maybe? it’s just great. i wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. 

sure touring has its ups and downs, but i love it. okay…so i’ve been left behind a rest stops a few times, and it does get hard, but i have so much respect for the guys. 

you can tell they love what they do, and i love being a part of not only the creative process, but just…being able to do what i do?! its awesome!! the fans are amazing, and i wouldn’t be where i am without them, seriously! 

really i wouldn’t want to be doing this with any other band.”

you wished you hadn’t read it. you looked so happy in the picture they printed, smiling and crammed into the group photo. what happened?

a part of you wished you never joined the band. it was nothing but heartache, just like what you felt now. you were angry, and so tired, and above all confused. 

your picture beamed up at you from the page, and you felt nothing but white-hot anger. with a scream, you hurled the magazine out from your bunk, not caring where it landed. 

it wasn’t until your breathing became uneven that you realized you were crying. the conversation in the front of the bus stilled, and you heard worried footsteps. 

while you couldn’t stop your crying, you still rolled over, and did your best to pretend you didn’t notice them. someone was standing outside your bunk…you could feel it. but you ignored them, and cried yourself to sleep.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you wanted to pretend yesterday had been a bad dream. the magazine sitting on the table, opened to page thirteen, let you know that it wasn’t.

the second you crawled out of your bunk and to the dining area everyone’s head snapped up. you hated it.

you didn’t know what to say or where to look. so you looked at the cup of coffee on the table. you knew it was meant for you, the mug was your favorite, and whoever had prepared it made it just the way you liked your coffee. you wanted to cry.

the “i quit,” spilled out of your lips before you could stop yourself. you were met with protests, and apologies, and pleads, but you didn’t listen. “i hope you can find a drummer, because i’m done here.” 

deep down some twisted part of you enjoyed their reactions.

☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎ ☠︎

you had started to pack your shit and call in a few favors. your apartment seemed so empty when you thought of it, so you’d couch surf for a while. 

no one had talked to you since you ‘quit’. not that you minded entirely…it made things easier. thursday’s show would be your last with the band you decided. you refused to let them treat you the way they did, refused to listen to any of their reasoning. maybe you were jumping the gun...but you didn’t care. right?

the air was crisp, and you could near see your breath when you stepped out to stretch your legs. it felt too early to be at a rest stop, the sun barely peeking above the horizon. you leaned against the bus as you smoked, a habit you’d come upon after being left behind more often than not. 

it wouldn’t really matter if they had left without you this time, you were already on your way out.

it was strange, the way that you could pick gerards footsteps from the rest of the guys. you could tell it was him coming down the steps before you even caught sight of him. 

“hey.” he sounded shy…and it all felt so unnatural. you almost felt bad. “i just wanted to say that we- i’m sorry.” 

“okay.” couldn’t he see that the apology had come too late? you wouldn’t lie…wouldn’t say it was okay and then act like you were one big happy family again. 

“you have every right to leave. we’ve treated you like shit.” it was all starting to sink in. it all seemed so final…so foreign. you were leaving and that was it. this whole time you hadn’t even stopped to think…jumping at chances before you even weighed your options. 

“why?”

“i don’t know. and i know i can’t speak for the others. it’s just weird…being on tour. it takes its toll y’know? and i just get in my head. some days i feel like i’m still asleep. but that doesn’t make it okay.”

“i know.” listening to him bear his soul like that was hard, but he still left you feeling like you were buried in questions. “leaving me behind and all that wouldn’t have hurt so much. but i never knew where we stood. what we were…” he took a sharp breath, and you flicked the ash of your cigarette away. “keeping it a secret–hiding in dark corners and trying not to get caught–that’s what hurt the most.”

“i really do care about you. i know i didn’t do the best job at showing it and… fuck i was keeping you at arms length.” his shoulder brushed against yours and for a moment the both of you fell into tired silence. “you can hate me, but i’m putting it all out on the table. i really really like you. and i want to fix this. i don’t want to lose you.” maybe you were stupid for loving him, even though he left you behind at rest stops and hurt your feelings so often. but your chest squeezed, and for once you stopped to think for a moment. 

is this really what you wanted? cutting it all short so abruptly like this? a part of you mourned what you knew would never come to be. but somewhere inside you…this little coil of something you couldn’t understand slithered around. you were moving so fast, and you didn’t want to let go. 

you knew what you were going to do.

“we can start over. make it real…if you want.” you couldn’t seem to help but squeeze back when his hand found yours. “we’ll keep in touch okay? i’ll sit the rest of this tour out…take a breather. and then we’ll see how it goes from there.” 

you talked well until the sun came up…about the new drummer replacing you—tucker—,about plans for the future, about stupid mistakes, and whatever else you could think about. they would go on with the tour and do good and play music. you knew that.

 he wished you luck, and you kissed him. it felt like a goodbye and new beginnings all in one.

 you wouldn’t take back your resignation…you wouldn’t forgive, at least not for now. but you would look at things a little differently now.

 you’d climb back into the bus, the guilt that had been bubbling in your stomach dying down a little. you would play your last show, and then climb into a taxi and head back the way you came. this time…with four less people.

[house-of-slayterr]

Blink Twice if You Need Help:

@myers-meadow-selfship

Otis’s POV:

I woke up today already in a shit mood. There was so much to get done and not nearly enough time to do it all. And of course, Baby was no help. She had Mama wrapped around her little finger and never had to lift said fingers to help. I grumbled under my breath as I greeted them in the kitchen.

“Somebodies grumpy” she commented.

I glared at her, taking the cap off the milk and taking a sip. She scrunched her nose.

“You know other people use that.” Mama commented.

“I bought the damn milk Mama, I’m gonna drink it!” I snapped.

She raised a brow at me, rolling up the frilly sleeve of her frufru dress robe. It looked so out of place in our run down piece of shit house. But that’s just how she was, extravagant beyond our means. And who was I to crush mothers happiness. I sighed.

“You look nice today Mama.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere boy, use a glass next time.”

“Yes Ma.”

“Good. Spaulding needs some help down at the store today, Baby and I will handle the house.”

I gave her a curt nod, pulling a glass from the cabinet and pouring the milk. I grabbed a banana from the counter and made my way out of the kitchen. I new better than to think they’d actually get anything done here. I could clean up later. I used my keys to unlock the back door of the store and make my way inside.

“Well look what the cat dragged in.” Spaulding commented. “You look worse than roadkill Otis.”

I growled.

“Says the clown.” I spat back.

He just grinned that stupid grin he always had.

“The house is a nightmare.” I explained.

“Baby getting into her arts and crafts projects again?” He asked.

“If by arts and crafts you mean leaving half ass projects on every surface in the house, then yes.”

He cackled.

“I swear that girl needs something to channel her energy, she’s like an over active chihuahua.”

I chuckled.

“Damn ankle biters. You think we’ll get any guest today?”

He shrugged. Absentmindedly adjusting things in our little gas station, gift shop combo. It was a studious business venture really, but the little trinkets made Mama happy, so we sold em anyway.

“I hope so, this town is dryer then your moms vagina.”

I rolled my eyes. He talked a lot of shit for a man that slept in her bed every night.

“Yet you stay.” I commented.

“That I do Boy, that I do…”

The first few hours of the day were entirely uneventful. Ain’t shit ever happen in this desolate town. But as luck would happen, some van finally pulled into the gas station.

“Look alive boy, we got us some tourist.” He smirked.

I watched as he walked outside, greeting the driver. In our state it’s illegal for customers to pump their own gas. Dumb as shit law of you ask me. But I guess it makes sense, these shit for brains hippies couldn’t work their way through a corn maze with a map. Probably didn’t even know how to use the damn pump. I laughed to myself.

The guy looked pretty average, some sort of jock type. Wearing tight shirts to show off his muscles, and I couldn’t decide if it was a scare tactic, or a way to get the ladies. Either way I wasn’t impressed. Next hopped out a cute little thing, her blond hair in a messy ponytail and her shorts entirely too short. I watched as she ran her hands along his bicep as he spoke with Spaulding. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, and honestly I didn’t much care. It wouldn’t matter by the end of the day, they wouldn’t be getting back in that van anyways.

I pretended to busy myself with random things, until I heard the bell from the front door chime. Seems Spaulding sent them in for some snacks. There was a shorter boy who looked like a damned greaser from one of those 50’s movies Baby liked to watch. He had enough gel in his hair to drown a baby in. He had his arm wrapped around a brunette, who unlike her other friend, had barely any skin showing. Damn city kids.

And lastly there was some kid with them. Their appearance struck me as odd right away. There hair was wild and unruly, almost as if it had never been brushed. I could see the knots from here. Their clothes were I’ll fitted too, shirt devouring their entire form, and shoes so warn you could see their socks through the little holes. I frowned, but quickly rid myself of the emotion.

I kept quiet behind the desk as they looked around, not really wanting to offer my “help”. Baby was much better at pretending to be friendly. I looked up when something was slammed on the counter in front of me. A six pack of beer and some chips. I looked down at it before meeting his eyes.

“Anything else?” I gritted in disgust.

“Gotta any good smokes?” He asked.

“Yeah… we stock Marlboro or Maverick.”

“I’ll take a pack of the Marlboros.”

I reached under the counter and slapped them down with the same force he had.

“That’ll be $18.50.” I dead panned.

His focus was drawn away from me as his girlfriend placed an ice tea on the counter.

“And the lady’s drink.” He said.

“$20 even.”

He reached into his wallet, and I looked past him through the window to see how things were going with Spaulding.

“We’re you folks headed?” I attempted to make casual conversation.

It was the girl who answered.

“It’s spring break, we’re headed further south to the beaches.” She explained.

I hummed, not really interested.

“It’s getting quite late, you don’t want to be caught on the roads out here this late. Some sketchy people hanging around.” I freihned a warning.

“Suppose we could rest for the night, what do you think babe? I think Mikey’s getting tired of driving anyway, we’ve been cramped in that stupid van all day.”

The man shrugged.

“Any motels near by?” She asked.

“Just down the road. Cheap rate too.”

“Perfect.” She smiled at me. “Thanks for your help.”

At least she was polite. Couldn’t say the same about her boyfriend. I lazily hummed again. He was about to hand me the $20 but was untrusted once more, this time by the kid. They were gripping tightly to a pack of gummy worms.

“That’ll make it $21.50” I sighed, annoyed that I had to talk to them for longer than I wanted to.

He proceeded to hand me just the $20 and I looked confused. Maybe he didn’t hear me.

“I’m not buying you some damn gummy worms, you got your own money.” He snapped at the kid.

They flinched slightly, shuffling awkwardly on their feet but nodded. I finished out the transaction. He forcefully grabbed the beer off the counter and shoved passed them. His girlfriend more delicately her tea and followed after him. I was surprised she didn’t even seem off-put by his outburst, her bubbly personality not faltering for a second.

“City folk.” I grumbled under my breath.

The kid just kinda stood there for second. Their grip tightened on the plastic and I could hear it crinkle in protest. Their small shoulders were shaking slightly. The wordlessly reached into their pocket and pulled out a few coins. They looked between the bag and their money and sighed, going to put them back. They seemed to notice my staring as they mumbled out a soft,

“Don’t have enough.”

I don’t know why I took pity on them, they looked like a damned drowned rat who just got kicked by their owner. I held out my hand and they looked confused.

“Take the candy.” I said.

They looked shocked, honestly I was a little shocked myself.

“But I don’t have the money to pay you-“

I didn’t budge and they awkwardly shuffled over and dropped the money in my hand.

“It’s only 85 cents, but I guess we’re staying, I think there’s a few coins in the dash if you let me go get them.” They offered.

It was honestly sad.

“Would ya look at that, says her the gummy worms only cost 85 cents now. Guess it’s your lucky day kid.”

That was a fucking lie and I knew it. Probably kill them first so they won’t have to witness the carnage. Poor thing looked miserable.

“Why are you being nice to me?” They asked.

“Guess I’m in a charitable mood today.”

I don’t know why they wouldn’t just take the damn things and go. I watched as they fiddle with their necklace before taking it off and putting it on the counter. I starred down at it.

“It’s not worth much, you could probably get like $5 for it. I don’t want to short you, that’s not right. Thank you for your kindness mister.” They said.

Before I could protest they were already running back outside as the boy from earlier yelled out there name from the door.

“Stop bothering the man and get your ass in the van!” He demanded.

I watched as they drove off, not even giving the kid enough time to sit and close the door first. Spaulding came back in.

“Sent em to the motel.” I explained.

He laughed.

“Stole their tired cap when they weren’t looking, they ain’t getting far anyways.” He said smuggly.

I just shrugged it response.

“What’s got your panties in a twist boy, you’re usually happy about this shit.”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I lied.

I should be fine, so then, why wasn’t I? I’d killed kids before, younger than them even. So what the fuck was my problem.

“You got your thinking Face on Otis, you know you’re a shit liar right?”

I groaned.

“You should have seen the way they were treating that kid, Spaulding. Something don’t feel right about that.”

“What, gonna give em a lecture while you’re ripping out their spleens?” He joked.

“Oh I’m gonna do a lot more than that, dumb fuck was a prick, treating me like gutter trash. Baby’s gonna have her fun with them, specially that sports boy.”

“Your sister does have a type.” He mused.

After a few minutes of working in silence, he spoke up again.

“Look if it’s really bothering you all that much, why don’t you go talk to your mama?” He sighed.

I shook my head. “We should just put the poor thing out of its misery. They damn near cried cause I gave them some gummy worms. I don’t think they’re feeding that thing.”

Of course he noticed my attempt to dehumanise them. Not like I needed to. Humans were disgusting by nature. Watching them beg for their worthless lives was always funny. People did desperate shit when they felt out of control.

“Whatever you say.”

“Imma go warn Mama about our new guests.” I grumbled.

Baby was the first to greet me back at the house. She was practically jumping up and down.

“Is it true? We got new friends to play with?” She asked.

I cracked a smile.

“Yeah, nasty little shits too. You wanna show em some southern hospitality?”

Mama came from around the corner, sipping some wine still in her robe. As expected, nothing got done while I was at the gas station.

“Been pretty quiet around here. Baby why don’t you head on down to the motel and offer them a home cook meal? Nothing open at this hour.”

She adjusted her top, showing off more cleavage and I cringed. I mean hey, it worked to lure in those dumb fucks, but she was still my sister. Can’t blame me for hating it. The men who ogled her were disgusting low lives. I rolled my eyes at her.

“You seem down, what’s wrong child?” Mama asked.

“I’m not a fan of our new guests.”

“You never are.” She laughed, “want to help your mama in the kitchen?” She offered.

And of course I could never say no to her. We slipped a special ingredient in the stew. They’d be out like a light before they new it, idiots wouldn’t even know what hit them. I wasn’t shocked when Baby came back half an hour later with the tourists trailing her. They never could resist her charms, if there’s one thing about Baby, she’s persistent. She could actually get shit done when she put her mind to it. Even if she did get a little distracted sometimes.

“Your home is… lovely.” The nicer girl from earlier complimented.

“Thank you sugar, where you folks from?” Mama attempted conversion.

“Way up in Michigan.” The jock spoke.

His voice wasn’t nearly as grating as his I’ll mannered friends.

“Couch told me they had good beaches down south, figured we’d have one final hurrah before collage.” He explained.

“Bet you’re pretty good at surfing” Baby attempted to flirt, and I had to hold back a chuckle when the blonde girl glared at her.

“Actually I’m awful at it, foot ball players aren’t really known for our good balance. One to many concussions I guess.”

Baby giggled at his joke.

“Sorry there ain’t much to do in this town, round her thinks close down at about five. But don’t worry, Mama makes the best food this side of Texas.”

“Great, I’m starving.” The greaser said.

The kid from earlier stayed behind them, not really joining in on the conversation. Spaulding was probably breaking into their motel room as we spoke, stealing their fancy shit so we could pawn it off. Not like a corpse would be needing it anyway. We all sat down for dinner, but the kid stayed near the door.

“We’ll come on in and sit sugar cube, we don’t bite.” Mama said.

It was odd how they waited for permission, the context was already there. They sat down next to Baby who smiled wildly at them. Obviously we didn’t put the sedative in our bowls, but I was hesitant when Mama placed the stew in front of them.

“This is amazing! You made this yourself?” The bubbly girl asked.

“My Son helped, he’s good to his Mama.” Mom praised.

The thing about Mama is she loved to brag about us. And I couldn’t lie it made me feel proud. Not that I wanted to look good to these worthless shits anyways, but the recognition of my hard work was still nice.

“My Nan used to make stuff like this all the time, she’s from down in New Orleans. She used to tell me food was the way to a man’s heart. Guess she was right.” She smiled at her boyfriend, looking at him expectedly.

“Your cookings decent.” He said flatly.

What kind of dick couldn’t even be nice to his own damn girl? Baby could have the jock, but he was all mine. She frowned for a moment, but shook it off.

“Maybe I could bother you for a recipe.” She hummed.

“Sure thing sugar.”

I was more than glad when the medicine started taking effect and the conversions slowed down. The jock was the first to fall, his face slamming into the stew. The blondes eyes widened as she starred at her boyfriend in horror. Everyone’s eyes were on him.

“What the fuck did you do?” The greaser spat.

Mama didn’t take to kindly to his tone, and frankly, neither did I. He and his girlfriend attempted to get up from the table, but I placed my hand firmly on his shoulder and shoved him back down.

“You sit your ass down.” I growled.

His girlfriend was the next to pass out, almost falling out of her chair. The blonde was in total panic mode, just saying “what the fuck?!” On repeat. Baby clamped a napkin over her mouth, cutting off her oxygen until she passed out.

“Get your hands off me!” He glared. “What the fuck is wrong with you people?”

You people… I hated when people called us that.

“Your mama ain’t teach you now respect boy.” I commented.

I looked across the table to see the kid still struggling to stay awake. They made eye contact with me, and for a moment I felt my heart stop. They didn’t look scared, or nervous, or even upset like I expected. They had a look of acceptance in their eyes, like they were ready to die. It made me sick.

“This is your fault you little shit!” He growled at them.

Their eyes widened slightly. How could he possibly blame this on them? They had nothing to do with this.

“You probably pissed off this freak back at the gas station. You can’t do anything right!”

They were shaking now. And I had enough. I hit him over the back of his head with my beer, knocking him out cold. I guess Baby and I were on the same Page, cause she quickly turned her attention to them. She placed a gentle hand on their shoulder.

“It’s ok pretty thing, you can stop fightin’ your medicine.” She cooed.

She brushed a lock of mangled hair out of their eyes. They looked up at her.

“But I don’t want to go to bed.”

Their words were slow as the sedative took hold of their brain.

“I’m not tired.” They lied.

“Oh, aren’t you just the most precious thing.” Mama said.

They leaned into Baby’s touch, their head collapsing into her hands as their eyes finally closed. I let out a loud sigh.

“So that’s what’s been botherin’ ya.” Mama said.

“What?” I asked confused.

“I can see it in your eyes Otis. You’re not happy about killing this one.”

I hated that I couldn’t hide from her. But I’d never lie to my Mama, that shit just ain’t right.

“This piece of shit has been treating them like that all day.” I growled, shoving the man off the chair and watching as his body crumpled in a heap on the floor. “Wouldn’t even buy them some damn Candy.”

Mama frowned.

“Is that so?”

I nodded. Mama stood up from her chair, making her way to Baby’s side of the table.

“Give em here.” She said.

Mama knelt down beside their chair, leaning them back on it so they wouldn’t loose balance and fall. I knew what she was doing, inspecting them.

“They’re hairs more matted then a rats nest.” She sighed. “Suppose we could fatten them up a bit too. Poor things frailer than a porcelain doll.”

“They ain’t scared of us.” I stated.

“Seems they aren’t, guess we’re no scarier than that low life.”

“Can we keep em Mama? Can we?!?” Baby asked excitedly.

“It’s another mouth to feed. We’ll have to ask your father.”

“I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it.” I chimed in.

“Otis, be a dear and take them up to Baby’s room. They’re gonna need the rest. I don’t care what you do with the others, just get that ‘thing’” she glared at the man on the floor “out of my Damn house.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Baby looked giddy, well more than usual I guess. Suppose it would be nice to have someone to keep her company so she didn’t bother me so Damn much. Always with her constant questions. I made my way around the table and gave Mama a kiss on the cheek. I turned to Baby.

“You can have the rest, but he’s mine.” I said.

She smiled up at me.

“Oh I can’t wait to see what you do with him Otis! Gonna make him beg for his Mama?” She asked.

“Think I’ve heard enough from him, not like he’ll be needing his tongue when I’m done with him.”

She grinned, that familiar glint of insanity in her eyes.

“Just don’t kill him until I’m done ok, I wanna watch him suffer.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Ahh, nothing like a little torture to bring the family together.” Mama smiled happily. “Just clean up after yourselves ok Kids? And stay off the new rug, Spaulding won’t be happy if we have to replace it again.”

That warning was mostly aimed at Baby. She was Certainly messy with her toys. I turned back to the kid, they didn’t even have a name, and yet here I was feeling protective over them already. Damn thing should be grateful, we don’t take pity on many folk around here. I scooped them up into my arms and was surprised at how light they were. Mama’s assessment was right, they were tiny. Weighed nearly half as much as someone their age should.

I carried them upstairs to Baby’s room and set them down on the bed. I draped a blanket over them before sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Don’t worry kid, they ain’t gonna hurt you no more. No one’s gonna treat you like that again.”

I knew they couldn’t hear me, but it was the sentiment that counts. I heaved myself off the bed and locked the door as I left. Couldn’t risk them waking up and trying to run before I was done with me ‘chores’ for the day. Maybe I’d finally have someone who will help out around the house.

An: Kid is more so used as a term of endearment here. Blinky is about 17 when they first met everyone, Doe eyes comes along about a year later.

[doebt]

Listens to kiss me by sixpence none the richer and just starts decomposing at an unnaturally fast rate

[eyeofnewtblog]

Things that happen at home:

So. My dad has owned one very special truck for more than twenty years. (He bought it new when I was 12, he’s had ever since, it’s a Ford F-150 diesel, 6 speed…it got stolen and it was a Big Family Deal )

Things car people will understand:

1)my civil engineering PhD having dad, who lit a microwave on fire with a cup of ramen noodles, is Very Proud of the fact that No Mechanic Has EVER TOUCHED HIS BABY. (We should probably note that OP is literally married to a mechanic and this is a Contentious Position)

2) My mom literally refers to this truck as her “sister wife” and any time mom brings up buying a new truck my dad goes down the rabbit hole of “okay but it needs to be able to do this” and it’s a thing that no new truck can actually match up to. Because no new truck can have the hauling capacity and charging capacity and efficiency capacity (basically there is no truck in Existence that my dad is going to like but he’s not going to agree to anything else)

3) my dad literally has to coach his hunting buddies on how to put this truck in REVERSE. (There’s a very specific slapping motion, and you have to know that the actual shift knob came off on a specific trip when I was 15 and he got the knob replaced with a 5 speed grip that he liked the fit of but didn’t…y’know… indicate reverse correctly)

4) you basically have to be my dad in order to operate this truck, and the poor dum fuck who stole it was a stupid piece of shit who knew nothing

Guys. My mom has been trying to get my dad to buy a new truck for TEN FUCKING YEARS. I’m turning 34 this week, he bought this truck brand new right before my 13th birthday; he’s literally raised 3 kids in this truck, there’s a very special way to prop your self up in the passenger seat for a 12 hour road trip…

Mom legit said “the sixth time I saw him cry was when I took his truck for a Girl Scout camping trip where I had all the girls and no other parents and needed to haul the camper because he had to do PhD review that weekend…he’s only ever cried when you girls were being born and he first held each of you.” (We have a sister that was born and died within the first 3 days because of missing her 13th chromosome)

All of this leads to the fact that my dad leaves his truck parked in the driveway with the keys in the cup holder because where they are in New Mexico is…actually really safe? Like honestly it’s really not that bad, he’s been doing this for 20 years with no problems but for One Night people suck and are present.

So my moms sister wife, that she’s been jokingly fighting for attention against for the last 20 years, gets stolen. Let’s be absolutely clear; my mother, who physically gave birth to me and my younger human siblings, is referring to the truck. The truck that after 20 years is in fact completely reasonable to refer to as a person.

My dad was honestly pretty devastated…for about a weekend.

Whatever dumbfuck stole The Truck was only able to get her two miles down the road…two miles towards the only nearby gas station. She literally sat in a ditch for two days before my dad came to get her. Friday night till Monday morning.

The truck me and my sisters/sibling learned to drive stick on, my mothers mechanic sister, the absolute bitch the my father will not let die…some punk ass bitch laterally could not drive her.

Could not drive her, left her in a ditch, and abandoned her. My mom is absolutely livid because she’s been telling my dad for ten years it’s his turn to get a new car and me and my siblings are letting out a deep breath because holy fuck we got the truck back but it’s kinda like Holy Fuck!!!!! WE GOT HER BACK! Who needs to be murdered? Where? Who? Lots of baseball bats!!!! No, seriously where and who????

And my mom is sitting there being all “So Close!” Because she could’ve gotten rid of her mechanical sister, but she’s actually a wonderful human being who would actually rather my dad come inside and spend actual time with his children.

The cops are not generous with information ( or at least dad is not willing to let me commit felonies)

[ravennm84]

Complicity

Hey everyone! Sorry I’ve been missing for a while, but I’ve had a lot going on and lacking inspiration, until the other day! I know that Lila thinks she’s the smartest person in the room and that everyone else it too stupid to figure her out. So, I decided to let her “think” she’s being smart, but gets caught because she did something stupid. Warm-Fuzzies and please enjoy!

Lila was happy. Since she had become a model, she had acquired a small fan base of people that thought she had beauty and talent. Granted, it wasn’t as large as she thought it should be, but she had only done three photo shoots and had been mentioned in one magazine. But this was just the beginning; soon, all of Europe would know her name and reporters would be clamoring after her for pictures. 

But at the same time she was very angry.

This was because Marinette had been mentioned in the same magazine as her. And where Lila got a single photo that showed more of Adrien than it did of her, Maribrat had gotten an entire article and multiple photos about her designs and the collaboration she was doing with Style Queen Audrey Bourgeois since the woman had decided to stay in Paris. She had even looked at the girl’s website and saw that there was an actual wait list to receive one of her original designs.

Enraged that someone she considered to be plain, talentless, and all around lower in status than her, Lila started coming up with plans. She wasn’t about to share her spotlight with anyone, let alone Maribrat.

She was tempted to accuse the bluenette of stealing her designs and ruining her reputation, but since she had been designing for longer than Lila had been in Paris, that had too much of a chance to backfire. She’s thought of sicking one of her classmates/sheep to break into her house and destroy her commission projects, but that also had too much of a chance to backfire since they would likely blab if they were caught.

No, she needed a different type of plan. Something that would be farther removed from herself so nothing would blow back on her, but harsh enough so that even Maribrat wouldn’t connect what happened to her. It took a few weeks and a lot of planning, but she came up with something that would work. It had been the perfect plan, a way to get Marinette out of her life and the spotlight for good. 

All it took was some sweet talking one of her new followers; a large, burly boy named Henry that was a couple years older than her and not very bright. He would have done anything for her… including going after a “stalker” that had threatened to hurt her. She barely even had to suggest anything before the boy assured her that he would protect her at all costs. It even seemed to be working when Maribrat was suspiciously absent from school for a few days after Henry said he would “take care of it”.

It had been the perfect plan...

Until the police showed up. 

She had just gotten home when the police arrived, saying that she was wanted for questioning in an open case. They had already been in contact with her mother and Greta Rossi had promised them their full cooperation. Rather than risk looking guilty, Lila called her mother to make sure they were telling the truth before grudgingly going with them. 

When she got to the police station, she was met by her very confused and furious mother. This wasn’t the first time she had been in trouble with the law. There had been an incident in Rome where she’d been accused of pushing a boy, Simone, down the stairs, and her mother had been forced to pay his medical bills. She had made it very clear that if Lila caused any more problems at school, it would not be pleasant.

So there she was; sitting with her mother and a couple of police detectives that she didn’t recognize, who were giving her condescending looks. “I am Detective Cooper, and this is Detective Raimus. We understand that you have been made aware of your rights, correct?”

“Yes, multiple times. What is this all about? You can’t just bring my daughter in for questioning like she’s some common criminal.” Her mother said as she stared down the two men.

“Mme. Rossi, we need to ask your daughter some questions in connection to an assault that took place against one of her classmates.” Stated Cooper, a detective with a thick mustache.

“Are you or your daughter familiar with a M. Henry Mortaure?”

“I’ve never heard of him,” Lila lied with a shrug.

“Neither have I, who was attacked?” Her mother asked, suddenly worried about what her daughter might have gotten involved in.

“A Mlle. Marinette Dupain-Cheng, are you familiar with the name?” Asked Raimus, who looked a bit older than his partner.

Greta Rossi thought for a second before nodding. “Lila has mentioned her a couple of times, said that she was a bully. What about her?”

“The Dupain-Cheng residence was broken into a few days ago by M. Mortaure. He was armed and confessed to be doing so with the intent of killing Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.” Mme. Rossi gasped in shock while Lila was attempting to hide her smirk with a look of worry. “The Dupain-Chengs were not harmed, although the same cannot be said for M. Mortaure.” Cooper placed some photos in front of them on the table, gaining another gasp from Greta. Three of the man’s limbs were wrapped in heavy gauze, his face was swollen and bruised from a black eye and a seriously broken nose. 

Lila didn’t flinch when she saw the photos, but was now fighting a scowl at the knowledge that Henry had failed her. And since she was here in an interrogation room, it could only mean that the idiot had blabbed. But that didn’t matter, she could just say that he must be a crazy stalker who had somehow found out that Maribrat was bullying her and decided to take things into his own hands. After all, it wasn’t like she had called or messaged him from her personal phone. She had bought a burner phone with cash just for this occasion. 

“Despite being armed with a pistol, he never had a chance to use it,” Raimus stated as pushed one of the photos towards Lila. “He will require reconstructive surgery on his face from being hit multiple times with a rolling pin. His arms were severely burned when he fell into a fryer, it’s likely that he’ll never have full use of them again. Despite the burns, he attempted to go for a kitchen knife after being disarmed. That knife was turned on him and he ended up with a perforated lung.”

Greta looked like she was going to be sick, unable to look away from the pictures in front of her. But she eventually did, casting a harsh stare at her daughter. “Please, tell me you had nothing to do with this.”

Doing her best to fake her shock, she shook her head and pushed away the photos. “I swear, I had nothing to do with this. I don’t even know why he would do this.”

“We were wondering the same thing and discovered that he’s a fan of yours. He has multiple pictures of you, as well as Mlle. Dupain-Cheng. We suspected that he had been stalking you and came to the conclusion that he thought she was bullying you and decided to protect you on his own-”

“Oh no, that has to be it!” She exclaimed, skillfully faking shock. “Marinette followed me out of school last week and threatened me to stay away from my boyfriend. This boy must have seen her and decided to get rid of her.”

“If that’s the case, why are you questioning my daughter?” Greta pressed, not completely believing Lila but seeming to be coming around to her side.

“As I was saying,” stressed Detective Cooper. “We had suspected that M. Mortaure was stalking your daughter, until we got the warrant for his phone. It seems that someone, supposedly Lila, has been corresponding with him for many weeks. She had been flirting with him, sending him photos of herself, and then Marinette. She went on to tell him that Mlle. Dupain-Cheng was a stalker and had threatened her. M. Mortaure seems to have done what he did with the understanding that he was protecting Lila, at Lila’s own behest.”

“I would never do that!” Lila cried before reaching into her purse to pull out her personal mobile and set it on the table in front of them. “Check my phone, I never messaged him.”

“We have already checked your phone records against the one that has been messaging M. Mortaure, and found that the numbers did not match.” Detective Raimus said, and Lila watched her mother visibly slump from relief… but it was short lived. 

“We did, however, track the number to a burner phone that was purchased in cash from a gas station. We thought it was a dead end, but the person who bought the phone made a mistake.” Raimus continued as Detective Cooper pulled out his own mobile and dialed a number. “The person who bought it has kept it on, and it is currently active.”

Seconds after Cooper pressed send, a ringing came from Lila’s purse. Greta Rossi stared at her daughter in shock before yanking the purse out of Lila’s hands and pulling out a second phone from inside. When Cooper cancelled the call, the second phone stopped ringing. 

“What have you done?” She spat at Lila.

Panicking, she shook her head while looking around the room for an exit. “That’s not mine! They must have planted it on me when they brought me here! They’re trying to frame me!”

“DON’T LIE TO ME!” Greta screamed at her daughter, causing Lila to practically fall out of her seat in fear. “You convinced someone to commit MURDER for you! That makes you just as guilty as him!”

“But-but I have diplomatic immunity! I can’t be charged for any of this!”

“Yes, you can,” Greta said, her voice going cold. “I may be a secretary to the Italian Ambassador, which grants me immunity, but that doesn’t extend to you! I told you to behave! I told you to never cause trouble like you did in Roma after what you did to that boy that called you out on your…” Understanding washed over Greta’s features as her expression morphed from anger, to understanding, and then disgust. “That’s it, isn’t it? Marinette never bullied you. She knew about your lies and you set out to hurt her just like before!” 

Standing up quickly, her mother started pacing the room before looking back to the detectives. “I’ll still need to speak with the ambassador, but you can expect our full cooperation in this.”

“Mom, no!”

“What are the charges?” Greta asked, acting as though Lila wasn’t even there. 

“As Lila is a minor, she can be charged with Complicity to Commit Murder, the decision of sentencing is ultimately up to the judge. But seeing as she purposefully bought a burner phone to use and has also lied to the police, I wouldn’t hold much hope.”

~oOo~

The trial took longer than expected. At first, things had been looking up since her followers from class had come to act as character witnesses. All of them saying how wonderful she was, a great friend that did so much for them and everyone she knew,   and that she would never do something so terrible. That Marinette was just jealous of Lila, so it was better to take whatever she said with a grain of salt.

Then, the prosecution started their case. Showing evidence of Lila falsifying records at school, video evidence of her purposefully framing Marinette for assault and theft. As well as the communications between herself and Henry, encouraging him to kill Marinette. 

Her followers had still been a bit sceptical to believe what the prosecutor was saying about her, not wanting to believe that they had supported someone who would try to get another person murdered. But then came her past victims, many of whom her mother had never known about. Simone from Rome, Sara from Florence, Giulia from Venice, Daniel from Viterbo, and Sofia from Palermo. All of them testifying against Lila, many with screenshots of threatening texts from her, photos of ruined property and injuries she had inflicted on them, and all around proof that Lila was the reason behind many hardships that had happened to them. And all because they had figured out that she was a liar and she had done everything in her power to hurt them.

After all that, the judge had not been kind. 

“It is clear, Mlle. Rossi, that you are a very disturbed girl in need of help,” the judge said, not bothering to hide how offput he was by Lila. “I cannot, in good conscious, allow you to roam freely. Having seen that these habits of yours have not only been repeated over and again, but have escalated to attempted murder. I have no choice but to have you returned to Italy where you will be kept in a juvenile detention center until you turn 18, at which point you will be transferred to a mental hospital for treatment for no less than five years. At which point, you will be evaluated to see if you will be able to safely rejoin society.”

Lila was immediately escorted back to Italy in disgrace. Her name slandered across every newspaper and magazine across Europe for what she had done. She was now famous, with most everyone knowing her name and reporters scrambling to take her picture as she did her walk of shame out of the courthouse. She was finally famous, but for all the wrong reasons

In case you are wondering. Henry made the mistake of coming after Marinette when she was with her parents. Tom and Marinette were in the bakery kitchen and Sabine was at the front. Tom saw the gun and hit him in the face with his rolling pin twice. He dropped the gun but was still coming after Marinette, she tripped him and he landed in the frier, which had been turned on to make donuts, and splashed oil all over him. Sabine had rushed back in time to see a bleeding and badly burned Henry grabbing a knife, she did some wicked moves that resulted in Henry stabbing himself. By then, he passed out from the pain and the Dupain-Chengs had called the police. The officers that came were both impressed and terrified by what happened to the boy, but the surveillance footage proved that they were only defending themselves.

TAGLIST:

@2confused-2doanything @7-sage-7 @aadnrsstar @abrx2002 @awkwardromances @bayball @babylovebug18 @botanicalfoxx @caffeinetheory @cheshire5210 @chocolateherringtacofan @city-of-all-tunas @classycollectorreviewworld  @corabeth11 @darkened-flame @delightfulcookiesrecipespizza @fandom-trapped-03 @ghostmaster @iamblinkmarvelarmy @interobanginyourmom @izang @jesussavedevenme @kazedancer @kitten12113 @lady-phoenix-of-tardis @lilypotter2018 @lunataravler @maskedpainter @ miraculouslydumb  @nerd-nowandforever @ola-is-dead @pandacatxd @plushbookworm @plz-excuse-my-inner-ravenclaw @pheonix-biach @raiderofthelostbooks @ramos123 @rowanrouge @rowanyx @ren121 @seesea22 @seraphichana @sashakoi @shypeacekitten @tazer6787 @that-girl-sakea @thecrazyfantrollshasmoved @the-smallest-kittenz @tishwinchesterannabethjackson @t1dwarrior-of-earth @ulmban @with-forward-motion @wonderbat91939 @zoiechance

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #348

“nothing will be free  /  nothing will be done  /  black out the sun”

Do you have any famous relatives? My third or so cousin is the author of Not Without My Daughter, but she's not like a smash hit or anything that most people know. I really do recommend the book, though. It's a long read, but a beautiful, true story. Do you care about celebrity gossip? Nah. Have you ever failed a science course in high school? No; I was very good at science. What’s your favorite breakfast food? Cinnamon rolls. Does your house have a basement? No. No house I've ever lived in has had one. Do you like Hot Topic? Well duh. Do you think imagination is valuable? VERY! Just imagine how many incredible things wouldn't exist without it. What was your reaction to your first time falling in love? Unspeakably happy, and I felt like I was building a future with someone. I felt like I had purpose, which I should mention to anyone reading is a mindset to NEVER adopt. No one gives you purpose; you're born with it. How much weight can you lift at once? Ha, not a lot. When you have your own house someday, what color Christmas tree do you want and how will you decorate it? I want a black one with faux snow on the branches, then maybe red ornaments. Kinda look like blood dripping off. Sounds metal. Name three YouTube channels you’ve been loving lately. Lately, John Wolfe, The Dark Den, and Aim To Head Mix. Have you ever bought a designer purse? No. Do you wear jewelry often? No. What color was your senior prom dress? Black. Are you colorblind? No. Name the people you know who are colorblind. Jason's older brother is colorblind to two colors, but idr which. Would you ever consider a career in writing? I'd love to. What was your first favorite color? Red. What do you think about horror movies? I love them. If you love them, what’s your favorite? I really enjoy The Crazies and both The Blair Witch Project movies. Oh, and of course Silent Hill. Got any cool Christmas presents picked out for family or friends yet? I don't have the money to get anyone presents... and while I sometimes get ideas about something I could make someone, then it wouldn't be fair to the rest of my family if I don't make them something, too. What’s your favorite word and why? I really like the sound of "serendipity," as well as its meaning. It's just a pretty, nice word. Do you like to do craft projects? If so, what’s the coolest thing you made? Not really... I think the coolest thing I made was when I put the clay heart I made in Art into a shadowbox, and a poem I wrote was in the background. It was a gift for Jason. I remember working really hard on the whole process and being really happy with it. I don't want to know what he's done with it since. What’s one occupation you think gets paid too much and doesn’t deserve to? I don't know. What’s something you are currently saving money for to buy? Everyone knows about Venus' terrarium by now... Do you smoke/vape? If so, what brand do you smoke/what device do you use? No. Ever done drugs? No. Tell me one of your worst habits. Catastrophizing. I take a tiny seed of something potentially bad, and in seconds it's a damn redwood tree. And I do mean "in seconds." What’s a weird quirk you have that no one else you know does? I don't know, I don't have any particularly unique ones, I think. If you game, what type of headset do you use? I just use earbuds. Do you think you would be a good therapist? You know, it's funny, I've actually pictured myself as one a few times, given my level of understanding and empathy for people, as well as how deeply I want to see others succeed and spread the word that recovery from things like depression is very possible. I've never truly entertained the thought, though, given I'm quite sure I legally couldn't be given my suicidal past and mental illnesses. There is also NO way I could listen to so many people's suffering and manage to stay healthy myself, so, no therapist position for me, thanks. Have you ever been to a Chinatown? No. Do you prefer chunky or creamy peanut butter? Creamy, 100%. Do you stop to pick up heads-up pennies? No. Do your pets have collars? Describe them: Roman has an adorable navy one with a bowtie. Do you have any friends that speak any languages you don’t understand? Old friends, sure. What is something you want to begin learning? I want to improve my ability to perform what in therapy is called "opposite action," where you do the opposite of what your depression (or other conditions) make you want to do. It always helps me feel good, like when I draw even when I don't initially feel like it, but it's rough to really force yourself to do it. What is a food you find comforting when you are sad? Ice cream is my comfort food. What is a quote you find comfort in? There are really a lot, but none come to mind immediately, gah. What is one Tumblr blog you really appreciate? I actually haven't been on my main Tumblr in months, but oh my god there is a Markiplier blog called "lady-raziel" and she is FUCKING HYSTERICAL. The meme quality is A+. What is a comfort movie/show for you? When I actually liked watching movies, I enjoyed watching Silent Hill when I was down. That whole franchise just makes me so happy. What is a recent creative project that you are proud of? That I'm PROUD of, idk. I'm not that happy with the last drawing I made, and I haven't done any serious writing lately that I find noteworthy. What is a video game that you find comforting? Shadow of the Colossus is probably #1. I find it so relaxing while equally epic as fuck. The soundtrack is to die for, and after playing it a billion times, it's pretty easy for me to kinda breeze through and just enjoy myself. Do you know how to bake bread? If so, what is something you’ve baked recently? No. Would you rather live in the mountains, city, beach, or the forest? THE MOUNTAINS!!! Particularly in the woods IN the mountains! Are you closer to your mother’s or father’s side of the family? Mom's. I don't even remember anyone from Dad's. Have you ever been in a “perfect relationship”? I thought so. Have you ever lost a fingernail or toenail? No. Were you a Disney or Nickelodeon kid? I preferred Disney. Have you ever been inside a jail/prison? No, and I don't plan on it. Have you ever dated a guy with a beard, mustache, or goatee? Jason had a goatee usually. He'd go clean-shaven sometimes. Did you ever name your stuffed animals? I named every single one I got as a kid. Now I don't, really, unless they're really special. What’s the name of the person who cuts your hair? I'd rather not share, given her name is very unique. Do you like cheeseburgers? Yes, they're one of my favorite foods. Do you have a Flickr? Yes, but I don't use it anymore. Did you ever want to be a fashion designer? No. Do you drink milk? Yeah, I love milk. Where was your FB display pic taken? My room. Have you ever burnt your tongue like REALLY bad? If so, what on? Yeah; white rice. My dumb ass didn't realize it had JUST come off the stove. My tongue hurt literally for weeks. Have you ever gotten your legs waxed? No. Do you own any CLOTHES from Victoria’s Secret? Er, are undergarments not clothes? But I know what you mean. No. What are your grandfathers’ names? William and... I can't remember Dad's dad's name. Have you ever seen a snake in real life? Well yeah. Are you against seances? I don't know if I believe in them being effective, but either way, they seem like a bad idea. Even risking luring a negative energy/spirit to you is something I'd stay away from. Do you own any superhero shirts? No, just Harley Quinn ones, some with the Joker on them, too. I need to toss 'em though because I am like, violently against romanticizing their abusive relationship. I used to just like them as a story character couple, but I got to a place where it just seemed... wrong to "glorify" it by wearing merch and stuff. What band has the best guitar solos? Metallica, durrrr. Who is the biggest jerk you’ve ever met? Can you believe that would be my former best friend? Have you ever swerved off the road to avoid hitting an animal? I've never had an animal in my path. Have you ever grown your own herbs? No. Do you like kissing in public? If you're my serious s/o, I could care less, so long as it's a simple peck. I'm not making out in front of people. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don't know. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? I don't know. I'm lonely and love feels amazing, but I need to get my life on track before I can be a good partner to someone and not just dead weight. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Huh, funny, he's the one that walked away. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Uhhh that would depend on how serious we are, where we are, and just what mood I'm in. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? ugh What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? also ugh What’s your dirtiest secret? TMI AHEAD. Probably receiving oral while bare-ass naked on the chaise in the living room while we were home alone. Or having sex in my sister’s bed. Oops. Would you ever get lyrics tattooed on yourself? Yeah. I already do, anyway, and I plan on getting another. Can you photoshop images well? I'm decent at it. Where did you last drive to? Mom and I went to go get our Covid vaccines today. What’s the first verse of the last song you listened to? "I don't know what we're supposed to be, but I know we lost it along the way to something better, something so much more than pleasure that we seek, so blind inside to fill these holes left by these lies that we tell to ourselves as we manufacture our own hell." What do you hear right now? The aforementioned song: "BLACKOUT" by 3TEETH. What was the last thing you laughed about? This is so fucking immature lmao but when we were driving earlier, we passed a gas station that had a sign that was advertising Coke, but due to space limitations, it abbreviated to "2 liter Cok" and I cackled like a child. Mom laughed harder than I did. Do you know any gay people personally? Ye. What was the last thing that startled you? I think it was a car hoonking at somebody the other day. What was the last thing to make you even remotely sad? Today's been a kind of rough PTSD day thanks to Facebook. My old high school friend had her beautiful daughter, a childhood friend just got married the other day, another friend is due to have her baby in just a couple weeks... It's just weird but even more painful to know it was the life I once fantasized about with a guy that just dropped me and made a break for it. I hate admitting that there's this deep, deep bitterness in me about it, like he took my life away from me, even though that's of course very unfair to say. I don't want to talk about this anymore, so moving on with my day.

[trashboatprince]

I had another idea for Tentoo and Rose, and I had to write it up.

Summery: Clearly, if you’re going to be living in a new world where you can’t just always get away with psychic paper to get into places, you’re gonna have come up with an identity for yourself.

And that includes a name.

So, Rose and the Doctor have an afternoon to kill, why not figure out what works best for the guy?

The name I give Tentoo is pretty much my headcanon name for him, do with it what you will. Also, the names suggested are mostly for fun.

On with the fic!

--

To Name a Doctor

--

A thwump sound caught the Doctor’s attention from the banana he was peeling, and his attention was drawn to the puce folder in front of him. It was still weird that puce was the color for folders rather than manilla in this universe, but it was the little things that seemed to catch his attention more than the big things.

Like how the chips here were terrible and he was working on genetically modifying a root vegetable in order to make actual, good chips.

The Doctor looked up at Rose who sat on the opposite side of the kitchen’s bar, gently pushing the folder closer to him. “Dad wanted me to give you these yesterday, but I forgot them in the car last night.”

“And they are…?” He asked, opening it up to see documents that required him to fill out information.

“Well, they’re identification papers that Dad and I wrote up yesterday over lunch. You’ve been here for over a week now and you’ve done a number of things but have not given yourself an identity here.” Rose replied and the Doctor set down his banana, giving this a little bit of thought.

Yes, in just his ten days here in Pete’s World, he’s built himself a screwdriver, bought himself some clothes, pretty much moved into Rose’s room (though he technically had his own in the Tyler estate until he and Rose found their own place), and had gotten on Jackie’s nerves at least thirty nine times. Oh, and he was able to properly identify and disarm an alien gas bomb that Torchwood had discovered through a phone call with Pete.

But Rose was right, he had yet to do anything about giving himself ‘official’ documents here. Rose had her own made forever ago, excellent fakes, no one could tell that they weren’t real, which means he’d have to get himself some too.

“Hmm… do we have anything planned today?” The brunet asked as he looked over the papers.

“Nope.” Rose spoke, popping the P. “So, wanna lie on some documents?”

The Doctor’s grin rivaled the one his girlfriend shared, and he took the pen she offered him. She got up from her seat, saying she was gonna make them some tea and he nodded, looking down at the papers in front of him.

“Alright, let’s fill out the easy stuff.” He commented, quickly writing down his weight, height, hair and eye color for IDs and ‘updated’ information, before hitting the roadblocks. “Birth date… hmmm, what do you think works best? Christmas Day, or when the meta-crisis happened?”

Rose looked over her shoulder, confused. “Christmas Day?”

“You know, when…?” The Doctor raised his right hand, wiggling his fingers.

This got a laugh out of the blonde as she put the kettle on the stove. “Oh, that’s a good one! I’d say Christmas, I mean, technically it was the day you were born, both as the hand and as the new Doctor.”

“Well, actually, I was regenerated on that day in the Game Station, and we arrived back on Earth on Christmas Eve, but still, close enough!” The part-Time Lord wrote down December 25th on the document before frowning. “Okay, parents… technically myself and Donna.”

“Then put down John Smith and Donna Noble.” Rose snickered. “Oh, I bet they’d have real laugh about that.”

“Donna might! Before she’d get angry about it. ‘Oi, spaceman! I am not gonna be your mother, even if I did help make you’!” The Doctor spoke, putting on his best impression of the fiery redhead, which sounded way too much like her, so he quickly shut his mouth. Rose burst out laughing at this and he scowled, before laughing as well. He quickly wrote down the names before pausing.

“I do have to give myself a name. John Smith won’t work. I mean, it’s worked a number of times, but some people are so suspicious of how generic it is, ya know? And I’m technically another version of the Doctor, still him, but upgrade, in a sense.” Like Hell he’d say he was downgrade.

Rose shrugged. “You could be a junior, or a second.”

The Doctor made a face. “Hmm… I dunno… maybe I could try for a new name? Something a bit different. What do you think of David?” He asked, saying the first name to come to mind.

“Hmm…” Rose thought, looking him over. “You sort of look like a David, but we’ll put that in the maybe pile. What about Matt?”

“Nah, don’t look much like that. Peter?”

“No, not that. Alec?”

“I feel like that name would make me ruder than I already am. Anthony?”

Rose snorted. “No, that’s my brother’s name! Though, if you were ginger with that name… Crowley?”

The Doctor shook his head. “Don’t think I could pull that off. Corin?”

Both paused and made faces. “No, no, terrible name, you’re right.” He shook his head. “Somehow that sounds ruder than Alec! Cassiopeia?”

“Doctor, I know I probably won’t call you these names except around people who don’t know you’re the Doctor, but there is no way in hell I’m callin’ you that.”

The Doctor looked at her funny. “What’s wrong with naming myself after a constellation?”

Rose just looked at him, raising an eyebrow, crossing her arms with an expression that basically shouted ‘are you seriously asking that question’.

“Right.” He sighed, scratching his head. “Jack?” He joked and she laughed. “Nah, good point. Oh! Wait, I’ve got one! Wilfred!”

This got Rose to raise an eyebrow. “Donna’s grandpa?”

“Yes! He’s a good man, really enjoyed his company, got to spend some time with him. Did you know he got a star named after him after he discovered it? Amazing, real proud of that man.” The Doctor smiled softly, toying with the pen in his hands. “I hope he’s doing okay.”

Rose knew there was a quiet, unspoken addition to that, but she didn’t bring it up. “Wilfred is a good name; do you want that?”

“I was thinking that’d be my middle name. I might go with John as the first, for old time’s sake, but Wilfred is the middle name. And… Noble, for the last name?”

The blonde gave this a bit of thought, tapping at her chin. “John Wilfred Noble… I like it.”

“Sounds good enough to tag on Tyler to it in the future?” The half-alien grinned and Rose walked over, giving him a little shove before a kiss on the cheek.

“John Wilfred Tyler-Noble? I think that’s an excellent name. Just don’t be writin’ that down on that paperwork! Don’t want Dad asking us a million questions!”

“Oh come on, it would be hilarious to show my ID card to your mom and watching her reaction!” He got a punch to the arm, making him wince. “Alright, alright, I’ll save that for later.”

Rose smirked and kissed his cheek again. “Right, so, for now you just leave the Tyler part off until we get that far. But this looks pretty good, now, onto figuring out your birth year.”

“Oh, that’s gonna be a challenge.”

END

--

Just something short and sweet. I’m in that group of Tentoo fans that loves the idea that he took on Wilfred’s name and Donna’s last name, especially cause I’ve been looking into the side content involving Ten and Donna and how much he seems to enjoy the Noble family (yes, that includes Sylvia, to a smaller extent, I mean, he even pretended she was his mother-in-law in an audio adventure). And yes, Wilfred does have a star named after him, its from one of the novels.

I might make this a little series of one-shots of Tentoo adapting to Pete’s World, spending time with the Tylers, and exploring this universe.

Thanks for reading! 

[spn-safeandsound]

02. Saving the Day

Safe and Sound

Dean Winchester x Original Character

Episode: 1x02; Wendigo

Word Count: 8,436

Warning(s): Mature language, canon violence and gore

Author’s Note: I hope you enjoy! Reblog and like!

Masterlist in Profile Description!

"Dean, please."

"Nope."

"I'll do anything."

"No fucking way, Junior."

"Oh, Dean, come on!" Julia whined, falling back against her seat. "Just one song. You'll like it, I swear."

"I'm not listening to Mariah Carey or Carrie Underwear," Dean scowled at her in the rearview mirror.

"Well, I don't even like country, so..." she shook her head. "And I think you would like Fall Out Boy."

"I think I wouldn't," Dean retorted.

"What about Elton John?" Julia raised her eyebrows at him. "He has older music. My mom loved him."

Dean's face visibly softened when she spoke about her mother. He knew she missed her, especially since the fourth anniversary of her death was coming up. He didn't blame her. Naomi Petersen was a great lady and had treated him and Sam as her own, even though she already had four children to take care of. He could still remember the taste of her famous peach cobbler. He wasn't usually a cobbler man, either, but he couldn't turn down Naomi's food.

"Fine," he gave in reluctantly; Elton John wasn't that bad anyway. "but only one."

The smile that Julia gave him was worth more than one song but he kept quiet, not wanting to give away complete control of his music. If Julia knew that flashing a smile would get her whatever she wanted from him—like it did for the rest of the world—he was done for.

Julia dug her cassette jack that she bought at the last gas station out of her bag and practically climbed over the front seat. She was careful not to hit a sleeping Sam because he really needed the rest; he hadn't been sleeping much since Jess and she spent most of the nights they shared motel rooms making sure he was okay.

She set up the jack and plugged in her iPod, turning it to her mom's favorite song.

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band...

Julia let out a relaxed sigh as she practically melted back into her seat. She smiled softly as she listened to the lyrics, remembering all the times her mom sang this song to her while she was growing up.

Her mom had been a dancer for years in her childhood and well into her adulthood. That was how her parents met, actually. When she was in college, her mom was in a recital that her dad coincidentally went to during one of his earlier hunts. He used to tell Julia that he was mesmerized by her mother and that she really was his tiny dancer.

Hold me closer, tiny dancer...

Dean appreciated the silence that fell over Julia because it seemed like she was always talking. And she was actually staying still, a stark contrast to her chronic fidgeting that drove Sam nuts. What he appreciated more than that was the small and contented smile on her face. It seemed like it was the first time he saw that smile in days; she had been grieving Jess, too, and trying to take care of Sam at the same time.

Despite being two years younger than his little brother, she had always been one of his caretakers.

You had a busy day today...

Dean let her bask in the last few notes of the song and then unplugged the jack, passing it back to her without a word. Julia was just as silent as she took it from him, her lips turning up at the corners when he popped in one of his cassettes.

Sam awoke with a start as the drum beat kicked in. Dean gave him a hesitant look as Julia leaned forward worriedly.

"You okay?" she asked him, trying not to hover as much as she had been the last few days.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sam answered groggily, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Another nightmare?" it was Dean who asked this time.

Sam cleared his throat loudly, refusing to answer.

"You wanna drive for a while?" Dean offered.

Sam laughed in amazement. "Dean, your whole life you never once asked me that."

"Just thought you might want to," Dean shrugged casually. "Never mind."

Sam looked between Dean and Julia; he could easily read the worried look on Julia's face but Dean's was a little bit harder to decipher. "Look, guys, you're worried about me," he acknowledged. "I get and thank you, but I'm perfectly okay."

Dean hummed doubtfully. Sam looked back at Julia for her reaction but she just smiled sweetly and looked over to Dean, changing the subject as a distraction for Sam.

"You know, I can drive—"

"I don't think so, Julia," Dean cut her off, causing her to pout at him.

"All right," Sam chuckled and looked back at her. "where are we?"

"Um..." she looked at the handheld GPS that she was in charge of while Sam slept and found where they were. "we are just outside of Grand Junction."

Sam sighed and grabbed the GPS so he could look at the location of the coordinates John gave them. "You know what, maybe we shouldn't have left Stanford so soon."

Dean blinked slowly; Sam always got so depressed when he brought up what happened to Jessica and it was starting to worry him. "Sam, we dug around there for a week and we came up with nothing. If you wanna find the thing that killed Jessica—"

"We gotta find Dad first," Sam finished, having already heard this speech before.

"Dad disappearing and this thing showing up again after twenty years, it's no coincidence," Dean theorized. "Dad will have answers. He'll know what to do."

Sam shook his head and focused on the device in his hands. "It's weird, man," he changed the subject and studied the map. "these coordinates he left us, this Blackwater Ridge..."

"What about it?" Julia spoke up, leaning her chin on the front seat.

"There's nothing there," he informed her and Dean. "It's just woods. Why is he sending us to the middle of nowhere?"

Dean didn't answer as they drove into the town of Lost Creek. They headed straight to the ranger's station so they could look at a 3-D model of the area around Blackwater Ridge.

"So, Blackwater Ridge is pretty remote," Sam sighed as he pointed at the location on the model. "It's cut off by these canyons here. Rough terrain, dense forest, abandoned silver and gold mines all over the place."

Though Julia was listening curiously, Dean wasn't paying an ounce of attention. His focus was on the huge taxidermized grizzly bear on display.

"Dude, check out the size of this fucking bear!"

Julia smiled at his childlike amazement and added, "And I'm guessing a couple of grizzlies?"

"A dozen or so," Sam confirmed with a grin as they walked over to stand by Dean. "It's no nature hike, that's for sure."

"You three aren't planning on going out near Blackwater Ridge by any chance?" a ranger walked up to them, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, no, sir," Sam assured him politely. "we're environmental study majors from UC Boulder. We're just working on a paper."

"Recycle, man," Dean held up a supportive fist.

"Bull," the ranger called them out, his eyes flitting to each one of them. "you're friends with that Haley girl, right?"

"Actually, we are," Julia played along, sending him a sweet smile. "Ranger Wilkinson."

The older man looked charmed by her, though not in a way that she considered sexual. Maybe he was just fond of a kind soul now or then.

"Well," Ranger Wilkinson's voice was considerably nicer, causing Sam and Dean to exchange impressed looks. "I will tell you exactly what I told her. Her brother filled out a backcountry permit saying her wouldn't be back from Blackwater Ridge until the twenty-fourth."

Julia nodded understandingly.

"It's not exactly a missing-persons, is it?" Ranger Wilkinson asked rhetorically. "You tell that girl to quit worrying. I'm sure her brother's just fine."

"We will," Dean promised with a smirk. "Well, that Haley girl's quite a pistol, huh?"

The ranger nodded in agreement, grabbing his coffee mug off the large front desk. "That is putting it mildly."

"Actually, you know what would help is if I could show her a copy of that backcountry permit," Dean said casually. "You know, so she could see her brother's return date."

"I'm sure that will calm her down," Julia added.

Dean had to admit it was nice having a pretty girl around to convince people to cooperate with them. Ranger Wilkinson melted at the pleading look Julia sent him and quickly copied the backcountry permit so they could take it to Haley. He gave it to her with a smile and a fond goodbye as they left the station.

"What, are you cruising for a hookup or something?" Sam asked Dean as they walked to the Impala.

Dean gave him a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"The coordinates point to Blackwater Ridge," Sam pointed out. "so what are we waiting for? Let's just go find Dad. I mean, why even talk to this girl?"

"I don't know, maybe we should know what we're walking into before we actually walk into it?" Dean said obviously. He gave his brother that had Sam stiffening in irritation.

"What?"

"Since when are you all shoot-first-ask-questions-later, anyway?"

"Since now," Sam's voice went flat.

Dean gave Sam an unimpressed look as he got into the car but before he open his mouth to speak again, Julia cut him off. Sam was delicate right now, no matter how tough he acted, and his emotions were all over the place. She didn't need the brothers to have a big blowout right now.

Dean sighed and got into the car. An hour later—after Dean stopped to make a fake ranger ID—they were knocking on the door of the address they got from Tommy Collins' backcountry permit.

The door opened and a pretty brunette a couple inches taller than Julia greeted them.

"You must be Haley Collins," Dean grinned at her. "I'm Dean and this is Sam and Julia. We're, uh, rangers with the Park Service. Ranger Wilkinson sent us over. We wanted to ask a few questions about your brother, Tommy."

Haley pressed her lips together as she looked them over. "Let me see some ID."

Dean pulled the fresh ID out of his wallet and presented it to her with a smile. Haley quickly looked it over and opened the screen door to let them into the house.

"Come on in," her eyes swept past Dean and locked on the Impala. "That yours?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah."

"Nice car," she said, impressed. She walked away from the door, leading them through the front room to the dining room. Julia and Sam exchanged eye rolls as Dean gave them a salacious grin, his eyes trailing to Haley's back.

There was a younger kid sitting at the table when they entered the dining room, frowning down at his placemat as he waited for his dinner to be served. He looked up when he heard their arrival and Julia smiled at him in greeting but his eyes quickly avoided her.

"So, if Tommy's not due back for a while, how do you know something's wrong?" Sam asked Haley as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a hot serving bowl.

"He checks in everyday by cell," Haley brought the bowl to the table. "He emails photos and stupid little videos. We haven't heard anything in over three days now."

"Maybe he can't get cell reception?" Julia suggested.

Haley shook her head. "He's got a satellite phone, too."

"Could it be he's just having fun and forgot to check in?"

The kid, Ben, looked up in offense at Dean's comment. "He wouldn't do that!"

Ben, who sounded much older than he looked, looked down, ashamed at his outburst. Julia gave him a reassuring smile, hoping that he wasn't feeling uncomfortable in his own home because of them.

"Our parents are gone," Haley informed the three of them. "It's just my two brothers and me. We all keep pretty close tabs on each other."

Julia knew a little of what that was like. Despite her dad being alive, he didn't check in with his children much. So, Julia, her brother, and her sisters all made sure they were okay in the meantime. Levi, the oldest twin and only son, always made sure they were all safe. Bethany, the oldest sister, mothered over Julia and Abby like it was her job. Abby, the middle child and previously the only hunter of the siblings, checked in to make sure everyone was keeping up on their self-defense and protective charms. And Julia did all of the above, just making sure that her siblings knew that she loved them more than anything. They didn't always get along but they were family—who didn't argue with their siblings?

From the look in Dean's eye, Julia knew that he could relate to Haley, too.

Sam nodded understandingly. "Can I see the pictures he sent you?"

"Yeah," Haley pulled out her laptop and pulled up the most recent video that her brother sent. A man a few years older than Haley with the same dark hair as his younger siblings flashed onto the screen. "That's Tommy."

"Hey, Haley," the video played. "Day six. We're still out near Blackwater Ridge. We're fine, keeping safe, so don't worry, okay? Talk to you tomorrow."

Julia caught Sam making an intrigued face and wondered what he saw on the video that she or the others hadn't.

"Well, we'll find your brother," Dean assured Haley. "We're heading out to Blackwater Ridge first thing."

"Then maybe I'll see you there," Haley replied; she saw the look of confusion Dean gave her. "Look, I can't sit around here anymore, so, I hired a guide. I'm heading out in the morning and I'm gonna find Tommy myself."

"I think I know how you feel," Dean stated seriously.

"Hey," Sam interrupted the intense eye staring going on between Dean and Haley, gesturing toward the laptop. "do you mind forwarding these to me?"

"Sure," Haley agreed easily.

-

The bar they sat in for a late dinner was loud and filled with local college kids on Thanksgiving break. Julia was used to the loud scenery of college bars, though, being a college kid herself, and she had to admit the burgers she and Dean ordered were good. She was just paranoid that someone would catch on to the fact that she was underage—her fake was great but she was always worried every time she walked into a bar.

She didn't drink anything alcoholic just in case. She spent most of her time learning how to research the meticulous way that Sam likes it to be done, both of them searching for any local history of mysterious disappearances having to do with Blackwater Ridge.

"So, Blackwater Ridge doesn't get a lot of traffic," Sam told Dean as he sat down with a fresh beer. "Local campers, mostly. Still, this past April, two hikers went missing out there. They were never found."

"Any before that?" Dean asked as Sam opened John's journal.

Julia cleared her throat, looking down at the local newspapers they had collected. "Yeah, in 1982, eight different people all vanished in the same year. The rangers said it was a grizzly attack."

She slid a newspaper over to Dean, the headline reading, UP TO EIGHT HIKERS VANISH IN LOST CREEK AREA. HIKER'S DISAPPEARANCE BAFFLE AUTHORITIES.

"And again in 1959 and again, before that in 1936," she finished. "Every twenty-three years this happens."

"Like clockwork," Sam commented, opening his laptop now. He moved it so Dean and Julia could see. "Okay, watch this. Here's the clincher. I downloaded that guy, Tommy's, video to the laptop. Check this out."

There was a video on the screen. Sam pressed play, showing a slowed-down version of Tommy's video. Julia's eyes widened in surprise when she saw a shadow move behind the missing man.

Dean blinked. "Do it again."

Sam played the frames again. "That's three frames," he told them. "That's a fraction of a second. Whatever that thing is, it can move."

Dean excitedly hit Sam in the shoulder, a know-it-all expression on his face. "I told you something weird was going on."

Sam nodded in agreement, only looking a little annoyed by Dean's smugness.

"One more thing," Julia spoke up. "In fifty-nine, one camper survived this supposed grizzly attack. It was a kid and he barely made it out alive."

Dean raised one eyebrow. "Is there a name?"

Julia smirked and passed him the newspaper.

-

The next morning, Julia, Dean, and Sam set out to find Haley and Ben before they could go up to Blackwater Ridge on their own. They carried multiple weapons because they weren't exactly sure what they were going up against.

The night before, after leaving the bar, they questioned the witness that Julia discovered. He was an old man now but his memory of the night his parents were killed by whatever was out there was still fresh in his mind. The bear—or what the rangers were calling a bear, anyway—had unlocked the cabin the man was staying at, slaughtering his parents while he was asleep. Dean thought that the creature might be a skinwalker or a black dog but he and Sam both agreed that whatever it was, it was corporeal.

Sam wasn't happy about their babysitting job but Dean wouldn't hear about leaving Haley and Ben to fend for themselves. He was adamant that they continue like any other case while Sam was just gunning to find his dad. Julia, on the other hand, went with the flow, not wanting to get in the middle of one of their notorious arguments.

Dean pulled the Impala up to the trail entrance where Haley, Ben, and an older man were talking. They got out of the car, Julia being the only one actually prepared for a long hike.

"You guys got room for three more?" Dean asked Haley as he locked his car.

"Wait, you want to come with us?" Haley said skeptically.

"Who are these guys?" the older man looked the three of them over with disdain—especially the duffle bag that Sam was carrying over his shoulder.

"Apparently, this is all the park service could muster up for the search and rescue," Haley informed him.

The man raised his eyebrows. "You're rangers?"

"That's right," Dean said confidently.

"And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?"

Julia smirked, having had the same argument with Sam and Dean before they left their motel room, and passed by her to stand with Sam. "I told him the same thing."

"I don't do shorts!" Dean called after her.

The man didn't look impressed with Dean's cocky tone. "Oh, you think this is funny? It's dangerous backcountry out there. Her brother might be hurt."

Julia turned back to Dean, begging him with her eyes not to lose his temper on the naïve man.

"Believe me, I know how dangerous this could get," Dean stated firmly. "We just wanna help her find her brother, that's all."

The group of them started up the trail, all six of them walking in a single-file line. Roy—the older man—led them with Haley and Dean in front, Julia and Ben in the middle, and Sam bringing up the rear.

As they hiked, Julia shared some of her trail mix with Ben, who was turning out to be a sweet kid. He didn't talk much—he was clearly very worried about his older brother—but he spoke with her a little about how his freshman year of high school was going.

"Roy," Dean spoke up about two hours into the hike. "you said you did a little hunting."

"Yeah," Roy answered reluctantly, clearly not wanting to talk to the younger man. "more than a little."

"Uh-huh," Dean wasn't bothered by the man's grumpiness. "What kind of furry critters do you hunt?"

"Mostly buck, sometimes bear."

Dean sped up, passing Roy in line. "Tell me, did Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?"

Roy didn't answer as he reached forward, grabbing the back of Dean's jacket to stop him from continuing. Julia and Sam stiffened, ready to intervene in case the men got a little violent.

"Whatcha doing, Roy?" Dean asked warningly.

Roy let go of his jacket and bent down, picking a stick up off the forest floor. He held it down to the ground, where there was a freaking bear trap, and pressed the stick into it. It popped up, chopping the stick in half.

Julia's eyes widened; Dean was about to step in that!

"You should watch where you're stepping, Ranger," Roy advised Dean with a knowing smirk.

Dean pressed his lips together and clenched his jaw as Roy walked past him, looking back at the others. "It's a bear trap," he informed them needlessly.

"Yeah," Julia rolled her eyes to hide her worry. "We noticed."

As they hiked on, Haley confronted Dean, severely annoyed, "You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a duffle bag," she pointed out, grabbing Dean's arm to stop him. "So, who the hell are you?"

Julia didn't envy Dean, who now had to explain to Haley what they were actually doing out here. She smirked at him as she and Ben passed him and Haley. Sam paused a little but when Dean nodded at him to go on, he continued and caught up to Julia and Ben.

"You don't eat the M&Ms first?" Ben asked Julia curiously as she continued munching on her trail mix. "That's what I do."

"Well," Julia handed him a couple of M&Ms, which he threw in his mouth. "They're my favorite part of trail mix and I probably wouldn't eat the stuff if there weren't any in there. I save them for last to make sure I eat the healthy stuff first."

Ben nodded. "That makes sense."

"My best friend here is a health nut," she gestured to Sam, who rolled his eyes. "He likes to keep an eye on me."

"You have an insufferable sweet tooth," Sam interjected.

"Bite me," Julia playfully snapped back at him.

Ben gave them a small smile; Julia was happy that she could help get his mind off of his missing brother.

Only an hour later, they arrived at their destination.

"This is it," Roy declared, looking at his GPS. "Blackwater Ridge."

Sam stepped around him and stopped, looking around at the trees. "What coordinates are we at?"

"Thirty-five and minus one-eleven."

Dean wandered over to Julia and Sam. "You hear that?"

Julia stopped, listened, and nodded; the thing was, there wasn't anything to hear. That was the whole problem. There should be some noise considering the fact that they were in the middle of the woods.

"Yeah," Sam confirmed. "Not even crickets."

"I'm gonna go take a quick look around," Roy told Haley and Ben, causing Julia and the brothers to turn around cautiously.

"You shouldn't go off by yourself," Sam advised, knowing that it was too dangerous for a regular hunter in the woods around here.

"That's sweet," Roy scoffed mockingly and raised the shotgun he had been carrying around. "Don't worry about me."

"Just let him go," Julia grabbed Sam's arm to stop him from following Roy out of the area. "He's an asshole anyway."

Dean made a noise of agreement as Haley and Ben joined them. "All right, everybody stays together. Let's go."

Despite the fact that they all wanted to leave Roy—besides Haley and Ben—they followed the older man anyway. It didn't take long for Roy to find something and when he did, he called for Haley.

She took off at the sound of her name and the rest of them followed her. They came across a campsite that was absolutely ravaged apart. The tents were shredded with some blood on the bigger parts, there was clothing everywhere, and food packages flattened into the muddy ground.

"Oh, my God," Haley breathed.

"Looks like a grizzly," Roy examined the mess.

"Tommy?" Haley called her brother's name, unclipping her backpack. "Tommy!"

"Shh!" Sam hissed at her, jogging over to her side to calm her down.

"Tommy!"

Sam shushed her again and Haley whipped around to face him with an angry stare.

"Why?"

"Something might still be out there," Sam answered.

As Sam and Haley spoke, Dean gently took Julia's arm and pulled her away from Ben. He led her a couple of feet away from the tent, looking at the ground intently. Once he saw what he was looking for, he called his brother's name to get his attention.

"The bodies were dragged from the campsite. But here," Dean explained to Julia as Sam made his way over, pointing to where the tracks stopped. "the tracks just vanish."

"That's weird," Julia wrinkled her nose.

Dean nodded at her. "I'll tell you what, it's no skinwalker or black dog."

Sam nodded in agreement and the three of them wandered back over to Haley, Ben, and Roy. Haley was perched on the ground, holding onto a broken cell phone and crying lightly. Julia guessed that it had been Tommy's.

Dean crouched next to her to offer some comfort. "Hey, he could still be alive."

Haley gave him a look, clearly not believing him.

And then, there was a scream from somewhere in the woods.

"HELP! HELP!"

Dean pulled his gun from his jacket as he, Roy, and Sam took off running toward the voice. Julia, Haley, and Ben followed them at a slightly slower speed, all of them hoping that it was Tommy that was alive and screaming for help.

However, when they came upon a clearing, there was no one there.

"It seemed like it was coming from around here, didn't it?" Haley asked, slightly out of breath.

Sam looked around cautiously. "Everybody back to camp."

They ran back to the messy campsite where Sam's duffle bag and Ben, Roy, and Haley's packs were missing.

"Our packs!" Haley groaned.

"So much for my GPS and satellite phone," Roy grumbled.

"What the hell is going on?" Haley turned to Sam and Dean for answers.

"It's smart," Sam said bitterly. "It wants to cut us off so we can't call for help."

"You're saying someone—some nutjob out there just stole all our gear?" Roy's voice was flat as his eyes darted around the trees.

Sam rolled his eyes at the older man and walked over to Dean and Julia, who were each searching the outer rims of the campsite to see if the creature left anything behind.

"I need to speak with you in private," Sam told them quietly, leading them a couple of feet away from the others so they couldn't overhear. "Okay, let me see Dad's journal."

Dean immediately looked to Julia, who pulled off her backpack and unzipped it. She reached in and grabbed the journal from atop the water bottles she packed, handing it to Sam without a word.

Sam flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. "All right, check that out," he showed Dean and Julia, pointing out a sketch which looked like a weird stick-figure drawing that reminded Julia of the First Nations.

"Oh, come on," Dean scoffed. "Wendigos are in the Minnesota woods or Northern Michigan. I've never heard of one this far west."

"Dad hunted one in North Dakota once," Julia recalled unhelpfully. Her dad hadn't been expecting the creature since they normally didn't pop up west of Minnesota and he had come home from his hunt badly injured. Julia's mom didn't let him out of the house for a whole week.

"Think about it, Dean," Sam tried to convince his brother. "The claws, the way it can mimic a human voice."

"Great," Dean muttered sarcastically, pulling his gun from his jacket. "Well, then this is useless."

"What kills wendigos?" Julia asked them.

"Fire," Dean told her. "Flare gun, flamethrower, torch, Molotov cocktail. Anything that can blow the fucker up."

Julia winced; that sounded like hard work especially since wendigos were apparently lighting speed fast.

"We gotta get these people to safety," Sam declared as he started heading back to the campsite. When they arrived, he got the others' attention. "All right listen up. It's time to go. Things have gotten more complicated."

"What?" Haley looked at him in shock.

Julia put John's journal back in her bag as Roy gave Sam an annoyed look.

"Kid, don't worry," he stated. "Whatever's out there, I think I can handle it."

"It's not me I'm worried about," Sam replied. "If you shoot this thing, you're just gonna make it mad. We have to leave, now."

"One, you're talking nonsense," Roy faced Sam head-on. "Two, you're in no position to give anybody orders."

"Relax!" Dean warned him, not liking his tone.

"We never should have let you come out here in the first place, all right?" Sam continued, trying to get them to leave. "I'm trying to protect you."

Roy stepped forward, getting in Sam's face. "You protect me?" he laughed mockingly. "I was hunting these woods when your mommy was still kissing you goodnight."

"Hey," Julia snapped at him, bristling at the man's verbal attack. "Back off."

Sam glowered at Roy, losing his temper. "It's a damn near perfect hunter. It's smarter than you and it's gonna hunt you down and eat you alive unless we get your stupid, sorry ass out of here."

"You know you're crazy, right?"

"Yeah?" Sam retorted back. "You ever hunt a wen—"

Dean pushed him away from Roy before he could finish his sentence; Julia grabbed Sam's arm, holding him in place just in case he wanted to beat the shit out of Roy.

"Roy!"

"Chill out!"

"Stop it," Haley protested, stepping in the middle of Sam, Julia, Dean, and Roy. "Everybody just stop. Look, Tommy might still be alive and I'm not leaving here without him."

Dean looked at Julia and Sam before sighing. "It's getting late," he pointed out. "This thing is a good hunter in the day but an unbelievable hunter at night. We'll never beat it, not in the dark. We need to settle in and protect ourselves."

"How?"

Dean held out his hand toward Julia at Haley's question. She gave him a look, annoyed that he just expected her to have his dad's journal out and ready, and pulled the backpack off her shoulders once again. She handed him the journal and pulled out her water bottles, handing three of them to Ben, Haley, and Roy so they could keep hydrated.

Dean flipped through the journal until he got to the pages about the wendigo. He found what he was looking for, a row of protective symbols that would keep the wendigo away from them, and he and Sam got to work on etching them into the dirt around the campsite.

As it got dark, Roy and Ben started a fire so they could keep warm and be able to see who—or what—was around them.

"Okay, so what exactly are these?" Julia asked Dean, hovering behind him as he drew in the dirt with a large stick.

"Anasazi symbols," Dean spoke loud enough so everyone could hear, Julia having told Haley, Ben, and Roy what exactly they were up against. "It's for protection. The wendigo can't cross over them."

Roy laughed in disbelief, slinging his gun over his shoulder.

Dean gave him an annoyed look. "Nobody likes a skeptic, Roy."

Dean stood up and walked over to where Sam was sitting on a log, a melancholy look on his face. Julia let them have their privacy and went back to join Ben and Haley at the fire.

"So, how do you know about all of this?" Haley asked her quietly.

"Honestly, I'm still training," Julia admitted. "but my family has always been involved and Sam and Dean grew up in this. It's like a family business for all of us."

"Your families do this?"

"My dad and one of my older sisters, yeah," Julia confirmed. "Sam and Dean's dad hunts, too."

"Does it scare you?"

"Yeah, of course," Julia said honestly. "It scares the crap out of me but it's better that I know and help out than other people dying, right?"

Haley nodded and Ben looked thoughtful. Suddenly, a voice—the same voice that called for help earlier—started shouting in the distance. Everyone perked up at the noise, getting to their feet in shock and fear.

Dean pulled his gun out of his jacket while Sam flooded the area in light with his large flashlight.

"He's trying to draw us out," Dean stated, cocking his gun. "Just stay cool and stay put."

"Inside the magic circle?" Roy scoffed, raising his own gun for protection.

Everyone ignored his skepticism as the voice shouted again.

"Okay," Roy admitted. "that's no grizzly."

Ben hurriedly grabbed Haley's hand and burrowed into her, frightened beyond belief. Haley had an equally afraid look on her face and held her little brother tightly so she could protect him.

"It's okay," Julia assured them with a calming smile. "You'll be all right, I promise."

Something rushed past the campsite, too fast for anyone to see. Haley shrieked in fear and Ben squeaked; ignoring her own fear, Julia took a protective step toward them.

"It's here," Sam muttered darkly.

As the wendigo sped past them again, Roy shot his gun. Nothing happened but when he took another shot, it sounded like something took a hit. Whether or not it was the actual wendigo and not a tree, Julia didn't know.

"I hit it!" Roy crowed before rushing out of the protective circle to see just what he shot.

"Roy, no!" Dean called after him. He looked back at Julia, Haley, and Ben and warned them not to move before running in the direction where Roy took off. Sam rushed after him and Julia kept a sharp lookout, flashing her light around every couple of seconds.

They couldn't see what was happening to Roy, Dean, and Sam but they could hear shouting. Dean was calling for Roy and Roy was shouting back but his voice abruptly got cut off, putting them in an uneasy silence.

"Roy?" Dean shouted into the quiet.

Within minutes, the brothers came back without Roy in tow.

-

The night passed slowly with Dean and Sam taking shifts to watch out for the wendigo. Julia mostly sat with Sam—who didn't seem to sleep even when he wasn't on watch—restless from the lack of bed and intense paranoia she was having.

They didn't talk as they sat side-by-side, Julia's head resting on his shoulder. They often had silences like this, it was comfortable and it was sometimes relaxing just to stop talking and get lost in your thoughts—that was Julia's point of view, anyway.

"I don't," Haley spoke up a half-hour after sunrise. Julia and Sam were in the same spot, against a tree trunk, and Sam was playing with his dad's rosary. "I mean, these types of things—they aren't supposed to be real."

"I wish I could tell you differently," Dean sighed.

"How do we know it's not out there watching us?"

"We don't but we're safe for now."

"Julia said that you grew up knowing this stuff," Haley said hesitantly; Julia perked up at the mention of her name but laid her head back down on Sam's shoulder once she realized that it was just a passing mention.

"It runs in the family," Dean confirmed.

Sam patted Julia's knee, warning her that he was getting up, and stood up when Julia leaned away from him. Julia hopped to her feet right away, picking up her water bottle to take a sip. They walked over to Dean, Haley, and Ben, who were all in the middle of the protective circle.

"Hey," Sam greeted them; Haley stood up to face him. "So, we've got half a chance in the daylight. And I, for one, want to kill this evil son of a bitch."

"Well, hell, you know I'm in," Dean grinned at his brother. "Give them the rundown, Sammy."

Sam opened up John's journal where he used the rosary as a bookmark and started to explain to Haley and Ben about wendigos. "Wendigo is a Cree Indian word. It means evil that devours."

"They're hundreds of years old," Dean added. "Each one was once a man. Sometimes an Indian or other times a frontiersman or a miner or a hunter."

"How's a man turn into one of those things?" Haley asked curiously.

"Well, it's always the same," he answered. "During some harsh winter, a guy finds himself starving, cut off from supplies or help. He becomes a cannibal to survive, eating other members of his tribe or camp."

"Like the Donner party," Ben supplied.

"Exactly," Julia confirmed.

"Cultures all over the world believe that eating human flesh gives a person certain abilities," Sam continued on with the lesson. "Speed, strength, immortality."

"If you eat enough of it, over the years you become this less-than-human thing," Dean stated. "You're always hungry."

"If that's true, how can Tommy still be alive?"

"You're not gonna like it," Dean sighed, exchanging a hesitant look with Sam before continuing, "More than anything, a wendigo knows how to last long winters without food. It hibernates for years at a time. When it's awake, it keeps its victims alive. It, uh, stores them so it can feed whenever it wants. If your brother's alive, it's keeping him somewhere dark, hidden, and safe. We gotta track it back there."

"And then how do we stop it?"

"Well, guns are useless and so are knives," Dean sighed and picked up a bottle of lighter fluid, a discarded but still intact beer bottle, a white cloth; a homemade Molotov cocktail. "we gotta torch the sucker."

After making a couple of Molotov cocktails, one of which Julia was allowed to hang onto after a stern lecture from an overprotective Dean, they started off in search of the wendigo and whatever cave it was hiding in.

They walked around for a half-hour before Sam spotted some claw marks in the trees, all off them high up and covered in blood. There were a lot of marks, making a circle in the trunks high above their heads.

Julia scrunched her nose; why wouldn't the wendigo cover its tracks? It was like it wanted them to find it.

"Sam, aren't these a little too distinct?" she quietly asked her best friend.

"I was thinking the same thing," he agreed with her. "they're too easy to follow."

A vicious growl came behind their group, causing all of them to whip around. Once they were facing the opposite direction, another screech came from behind them again, moving so fast that the trees rustled like they were in a major storm.

Suddenly, Haley screamed and fell to the ground, looking terrified. Roy's dead body fell right in the spot where she was standing, his neck broken so drastically that his head was almost turned around.

"You okay?" Sam asked her as he helped her to her feet. "You got it?"

"His neck's broken," Dean said needlessly; he stood up and urged them back toward the campsite. "Okay, run, run, run! Go, go, go!"

The five of them took off running, trying to get away from the wendigo as fast as humanly possible. Julia and Ben were at the back and when Ben tripped over an overgrown root in the ground, she accidently dropped her cocktail as she went to help him up.

Sam doubled back to help her and they started running again. They were almost back to the campsite when they heard Haley let out a loud scream. They raced toward the sound, stopping when they didn't see Haley or Dean.

"Shit," Julia sighed anxiously, spotting the Molotov cocktail that Dean had been carrying; it was on the ground, smashed to pieces and very useless. "It took them."

Ben didn't look as panicked as Julia thought he would be since his sister was now missing, as well as his brother. He pulled himself together and clenched his jaw, pushing back his anxiety so he could help find Haley, Dean, and Tommy.

"If it keeps its victims alive why would it kill Roy?" he asked Sam as they continued walking back to the campsite.

"Honestly, I think it's because Roy shot at it and pissed it off," Sam replied; Ben nodded, seeming to accept that answer.

Julia kept her eyes on the ground as she walked, making sure that they wouldn't step in any random bear traps that may be lying around. She gasped excitedly when she saw a large M&M in the mud, more of them following a few inches from each other.

"Look," she pointed them out to Sam and Ben. "Dean's peanut M&Ms."

Sam scoffed in surprise and picked one up. "It's better than breadcrumbs."

They followed the trail of M&Ms to one of the old mines that Sam told her and Dean about the day they got into town. There were signs warning them of intense danger but it was dark and hidden in there; a perfect spot for a wendigo to hide.

Julia, Sam, and Ben stepped through the broken door and made their way further into the mine. Julia pulled out her flashlight the darker it got, illuminating a clear path for them. They heard a growl and hid as the wendigo sped past them, leaving the mine; it was probably searching for them.

Once the wendigo was out of sight, they kept going. Eventually they came upon a larger cave. It was full of old human bones that made Ben flinch in disgust. They also spotted Haley and Ben's hiking gear and in the corner Dean and Haley were hanging up by their arms, both of them unconscious.

Julia sighed in immense relief and sped toward Dean, Sam right on her heels. To be honest, she had been so worried about him and was afraid she might never see him again. If they all got out of this alive, she was going to tease him about being a damsel in distress just to see that annoyed look in his green eyes that she secretly liked.

"Dean!" she exclaimed, reaching for his torso to shake him awake. While she did this, Sam reached up and started cutting at the rope that detained him with one of his knives. "Hey, Dean, wake up. Rise and shine, sleeping beauty."

Dean grunted as he slowly blinked. "Shut up."

Julia beamed at him and laughed softly, bracing him against her as his rope finally broke. Sam went to help Ben get Haley down and Julia slowly helped Dean sit down on the stone floor.

"Are you all right?" Julia asked softly as he groaned in pain.

"Yeah, yeah," Dean assured her quickly. "Where is it?"

"It's gone for now," she told him.

Haley stood up when she was freed from her ropes, way better off than Dean was. She gasped when she saw her older brother hung up in another corner. She, Ben, and Sam went over to him, waking him up and freeing him from his bindings.

Dean huffed and looked over at the bags Julia had set him down by, spotting a few flare guns that would really be helpful. He grabbed three of them, giving one to Julia, and slowly and painfully got to his feet.

"Check it out," he walked over to Sam with a slight limp.

"Flare guns," Sam grinned while Dean twirled two of them dramatically. "Those'll work."

They started out of the cave, Julia and Dean in front of the group—helping a man that was almost a foot taller than her walk was actually hard work—with Ben, Haley, and Tommy supporting each other in the middle, and Sam in the back to protect them.

The wendigo growled threateningly as it came back into the mine and Julia figured that it was upset she, Sam, and Ben weren't back at the campsite for it to bring home to dinner.

"Looks like someone's home for supper," Dean spoke quietly.

"We'll never outrun it," Haley said worriedly.

Dean looked back at them, his eyes flitting over everyone in the group. Finally, he pointedly looked at Sam last. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I think so."

"All right," Dean caught the attention of the Collins siblings. "listen to me. Stay with Julia, she's gonna get you out of here."

"What are you guys going to do?" Julia gave him a concerned look.

Dean gave her a dramatic—and only slightly attractive—wink and pulled away from her. He started running back down the mine with Sam on his heels, both of them screaming for the attention of the wendigo.

"Chow time, you fuckin' bastard!" Dean shouted over Sam's voice. "Yeah, that's right, bring it on, baby! I taste good!"

Any other time, Julia would have laughed her ass off at Dean's nonsense. Now, though, she had work to do and innocent people to save—she was kind of like a superhero now, she guessed.

She held up her flare gun in front of her as she continued out of the mine, the Collins siblings right behind her. She checked to see if the coast was clear before urging them to hurry up out of the mine's entrance.

"All right, come on," she said quickly. "Hurry!"

"Hey! You want some white meat, bitch? I'm right here!" they heard Dean shout.

He's having way too much fun with this, she thought.

Just as the siblings started climbing out of the entrance they heard the wendigo growling a little too close for comfort.

"Get out of here," Julia urged them, coming to a quick decision.

"Julia, no!"

"Go, now!"

"Come on, Haley!" Ben begged his older sister, reaching for her and Tommy through the entrance.

Once Haley gave in and she and Tommy left the mine, Julia turned around to head back toward wendigo's growls. When she heard quick footsteps, she hid behind the way and held her flare gun up, ready to shoot at a moment's notice.

A low snarl from her left caught her attention; she slowly turned to look and screamed when she came face-to-face with the wendigo. She heard Dean and Sam calling her name as she shot the flare at the ugly bastard but it quickly ran off.

Julia didn't waste any time; she sped toward the entrance, hoping that the wendigo wasn't going after Haley, Ben, and Tommy.

"Julia?"

Julia jumped out of the entrance where the siblings were waiting and quickly slipped Tommy's free arm over her shoulder to help bare his weight. "Come on, go, go, go," she urged them. "Hurry, hurry."

There was another loud snarl and the four of them turned around in horror. Although still in the mine, the wendigo had spotted them. It looked absolutely furious in what little expression it had and it was definitely not going to mess around and keep them for the winter.

"Get behind me," Julia ducked from under Tommy's arm, Haley taking her place, and stepped in front of them.

She stared down the wendigo, fearful for her life. The wendigo snarled angrily as it got closer and closer to the entrance, out for blood. It was only a foot or so away from the broken planks when something caught its attention.

"Hey!" Sam and Dean called from behind it.

When the wendigo turned around, both of them shot their flare guns. Their shots rang true and the wendigo burst into flames. Its body burnt into a crisp as it slowly lowered to the ground, finally dead.

"Holy shit," Julia sighed in relief.

"Not bad, huh?" Dean called over to her with a smirk; Julia let out a breathless laugh as he walked over to her, surprisingly cupping her chin and lifting her head to look for any injuries on her face. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she assured him with a tired smile. "How about you? Did it get some white meat off of ya?"

Dean chuckled. "Oh, it fucking wished, shortcake."

-

Hours later, they had buried the wendigo's corpse so no one could find it, used Tommy's satellite phone to call for medical assistance, and hiked back to the trail entrance. Paramedics, police officers, and park rangers were surrounding the area, offering their assistance immediately.

Tommy went straight into one of the ambulances while Haley and Dean were tended to at the other. Ben and Sam were questioned by a deputy—Sam there in support so Ben would give the officer the correct, but fake, details of what happened—and Julia was questioned by another.

Her questioning was over quickly since she was the only witness the deputy had to talk to, so she quickly took a bottle of water from a helpful park ranger and walked over to the Impala, leaning against the trunk.

She watched as Dean and Haley conversed, likely saying their goodbyes, and smiled when he sent the girl a flirty look and got a kiss on the cheek in return. Same old Dean. Sam and Ben joined them and they quickly said their gracious goodbyes. As the siblings walked toward the ambulance that was bussing their older brother to the hospital, they waved enthusiastically at Julia, who waved back happily.

She was so glad that they had each other and they were all safe. Honestly, she felt great. Despite the fear she had while facing the wendigo, she was pretty proud of herself. She helped save people and it felt damn good.

Sam and Dean walked over to the Impala, their hands in their pockets. Dean leaned against the trunk next to her, sighing heavily.

"Man, I hate camping."

"Me too," Sam agreed.

"Glamping is way better," Julia stated honestly.

Dean gave her a weird look. "What the fuck is glamping?"

"Glamorous camping," she ignored the weird looks the brothers gave her.

Sam's face quickly fell into sadness and Dean gave him a sympathetic look. "Sam, you know we're gonna find Dad, right?"

"Yeah, I know," Sam said sullenly before perking up. "But, in the meantime, I'm driving."

Dean wordlessly tossed him the keys.

"Ooh," Julia squeaked excitedly. "Shotgun."

"I don't think so."

"Fine," she shrugged, unbothered as Dean gently pushed her away from the passenger seat. "At least the driver gets to pick the music."

"Ah, hell, I'm regretting this already."

(Gif is not mine)

[twelverose]

till the sun comes shining through (1/?)

It's a life of working hard and playing harder. Rose is the daughter of an old family trying to keep up with modern times. James is the boy of a family who left for easier living. It was natural for them to collide. Rodeos and events keep them on their toes, pushing them closer. All they know is they have a life to lead and it's better with two.

Rating: Teen (Some sexual implications, mild violence)

Pairing: Twelve/Rose

WC: 2.9K

TW: Mild violence, drinking.

A/N: It’s a cowboy au bc i love writing about things inspired by my own life babey. yeehaw.

Song: Cause I Love You - Johnny Cash (Title) and What Was I Thinkin’ -  Dierks Bentley (Chapter)

Read on Ao3

Chapter One: Come and Get Me Grin

What was I thinkin'

Oh, I knew there'd be hell to pay

But that crossed my mind a little too late

_______________________

Rose Tyler was the most beautiful girl James had ever seen. He decided that years ago. He was a year older but the same class as her in high school. Keeping at least an acquaintance with her for the first two years. Before their junior year where they really got to talk at a party. He’d been chasing her ever since. And she had fun leading him.

Her family bought the old McCrimmon ranch before she was born.  Her father was a cowboy legend. Raised to ride bulls and that he did. Winning enough by riding in the PBR to be able to invest in more land at the age of twenty. They raised cattle and trained horses. Her mother was a champion of her own. Training and riding horses in world class events. Rose stayed humble though. She was carefree. No restraint in her friendliness or attitude. It was a warm welcome in James’s life.

His family wasn’t a fan of the friendship. Especially once they sold their farm.

When she told him to meet her at the front gate of her property, he stumbled over his okay. It was a given. He wasn’t one of the idiots to say no to her. Or maybe he was the idiot to say yes. There was a rumor that Pete Tyler was more than a bull rider. Something to do with another guy and Jackie. James never asked about it. It was just something that came back around whenever word got around that Rose was going on a date in high school. 

But they weren’t in high school anymore. And he was glad that he wouldn’t have to hear it again. Especially since his nerves were already on fire, sitting at the edge of the Tyler property.

When she climbed over the gate, he knew he was in trouble. But didn’t really think about what it meant.

“You might wanna drive,” She said as she hopped into his passenger seat, “I think dad heard me.”

“What?”

“Wait another minute or two and you’ll see why.”

So he did. Not sure if it was because he felt the need to prove himself or to see if the rumors about her dad were true. Maybe it was both. But the sound of a shotgun made him kick the truck into drive,

“What the fuck?”

She shrugged and smiled, “It was an actual warning, y’know?”

Rose was wearing a tank top that belonged in an early 2000s horror movie. It was a size too small and showed off her midriff. He wasn’t complaining. Especially when she made an obvious move to sit in the middle seat to change the radio station. James found himself clenching his jaw. Just to make sure none of the stupid thoughts going through his mind came out. Not that there were many there at all. 

During the commercials between songs, they caught up. They hadn’t really spoken like they used to since graduating. Both of them falling into work. James was a farmhand at several ranches. Rose was working with her mom and dad. Taking care of cattle and training horses.

She talked about a new horse until she realized what road they were on. He didn’t even realize. Until her entire mood shifted slightly. Into something that made his cheeks turn red.

“What have you got planned for us tonight?” She asked, batting her eyes.

“Oh, the Amber Tree is doing somethin’ tonight. I think a band is playing? I’m really not that sure.” He tried to sound cool and confident. 

She smirked at him, “Who told you that?”

“What d’you mean?”

“I know how you boys work. You talk to each other to figure out the hottest spot. Who’d you talk to?”

He pretended to be offended, slapping his hand over his heart and glancing at her with a sigh, “You think I’m boring? Let me show you a bit of fun tonight then.”

She laughed, “You think I would’ve asked you out if I thought you were going to be boring?”

He pressed down further on the gas and grinned at her, “I sure hope not.”

The highway they had turned onto went through a forest until a railroad crossing. The music echoed back at them through the tunnel of trees. She seemed to know every song on the radio. Unlike him, he could only pick out a few. She didn’t seem to notice. Singing to him or out the window, grabbing his arm to get him to look at her. 

He tried to keep his eyes on the road. Luckily he knew it like the back of his hand. Because she was determined to make him look and keep him looking.

Once they got past the train tracks, she hung out the side window for a bit, whooping at the moon. He laughed and whooped with her. It was all so natural. It was fun. The most fun he’s had in months. It made some type of warmth pump through his veins. And all he wanted was more of it.

  And that he got. 

When they crossed the county line, blue and red lights flashed behind him. Rose slid back in with a wide smile and looked at him like she was saying, “Well, prove what you got.” So he did. Changing the gear and swiftly pulled off into a field. The wind whipped through her hair, wisps of it stinging his face. She kept looking behind them, telling him how far behind the cop was. He wasn’t worried. He hoped he’d remember to tell her that he’d done this a few times. And his best story of one of those times.

He really did try to avoid the crops. Although he heard at least one stock of corn get caught underneath him. The other side of the field was a dirt road, which he tore out onto. 

“Why don’t you go faster, cowboy?”

If he had to give an excuse or reason to go faster, he would’ve had to blame the testosterone spike those words caused. And usually, he’d try to keep in line. But if she was asking, then James would just have to do it.

The smile he got in response was worth it. A tongue-touched grin. James decided that he’d probably do anything for another smile like that.

It was another five minutes of loud music and speeding before they made it to the bar. It was already busy. Nine at night would do that to places like these in small towns. Especially when there was a promise of live music and fights. Although, fights weren’t on the posters.

He wiped his palms on his jeans and looked back at her, “Ready?”

“As long as you can keep up.”

They were both technically underage. Technically because the bar didn’t care nor did it really have enough staff to do so. The bar itself was full of old timers. The ones who were found there every night and knew everyone and their father. They were the first ones to ask what Rose was doing there.

“Does your father know?” He tilted up his hat.

Rose shook her head,  “And I hope he doesn’t find out.”

The man chuckled and went back to who he was talking to originally. James felt a wave of anxiety go through him. Afraid of what that conversation would lead to for him.

“He’s not gonna tell him, right?” James asked while he paid for their beers.

“You better hope he doesn’t. You’re already in trouble.”

Her wink told him that she was more of the trouble than her dad. Even if he knew the more trouble he got into with her meant only more from her dad.

He didn’t let that stop them from dancing though. It was a honky-tonk band. It was hot and sweaty in the middle of the room. He knew that. But he didn’t know when he lost the button down he was wearing over his t-shirt. He didn’t care. She was so focused on him that he had no choice but to return it. 

They were close. A lot closer than they’ve been when they danced at parties. Her chest against his. Her hands running up and down his back. This time, there wasn’t one of her friends to pull her away because she was busted. Or one of his to tell him he better lay off or he was in deep shit. They did what they’d been waiting to do. And she knew the perfect way to do it.

He was on fire. Because that’s what she did to him. Made him red and wild. So, he was just about to finally kiss her when someone shoved him back from her.

James knew who that someone was. They saw each other when he walked into the bar. They both realized what could happen. James figured it would. They both had a reputation that was in due time for testing.

Jimmy Stone was older. He was probably what made Pete Tyler the protective father he is. Once again, if the rumors were true, no one could really shame him for acting the way he did.  There was no question in what Jimmy was capable of, that was given to James. He was fit. He had to be for what he did. But he wasn’t much compared to Jimmy.

“Will you fuck off, Stone?” Rose shouted at him.

He shushed her, “This isn’t about you. Well, it doesn’t have to involve you.”

James took a step forward, “You can stop talkin’ to her like that.”

He saw the fist coming and he let it land. To prove he was just as tough as Jimmy. That’s what he would say tomorrow when he was at work. But right now, he would be stupid to say it didn’t hurt. He could feel the bruise forming when he stood back up straight. He felt the blood from his split lip run down his chin.

“You afraid to fight, pretty boy?”

If it were a movie, he’d probably pop his neck. But instead, he flicked the baseball hat off Jimmy’s head. Dodging the next punch, James managed a land to the middle of the other guy’s gut. But he took the one to his ribcage. Jimmy laughed when James took a step back and groaned.

There was a crowd around them now. He saw someone step out in the corner of his eye. Then felt Rose’s hand on his elbow but he shook it off. He wasn’t one to lose a fight without good reason.

“You ready to regret coming out tonight, Stone?” 

He was cocky. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t fallen yet or that Rose was on his side. Then a surge of anger rushed through him. He wasn’t sure where exactly it came from but it slipped out of his mouth with the taste of blood. And the hardest swing he thinks he’s ever thrown.

The crowd around him gasped. Jimmy fell flat on his ass. James laughed, then he spotted the tooth on the ground and grabbed Rose’s hand. Taking off out of the bar. 

As he slid into the driver’s side and started the truck, she slid over the hood. His heart started beating a little faster. When she jumped in, she landed in the middle seat- almost in his lap. That’s when he stopped breathing. 

She gave him a kiss. One that he had been dreaming about for a while now. It was sloppy and deep and warm. It was probably a lot shorter than what it felt. Only stopping when they heard a commotion at the front door.

She slipped away from him with a breathy “Thank you.”

They tore out of the gravel parking lot. He didn’t try to speed on the way home. Wanting to keep her this close for as long as possible. But he got a glimpse of the time and worried about what would be waiting. 

She reminded him that maybe it would be worth it. Distracting him with another kiss when he stopped at the first sign of the night. And then telling him to pull off the road just for a second. Which led to a little more than he expected. 

He had a little more than one bruise now. The rest were a lot sweeter than the first. And his shirt was just as high on his stomach as hers. Hair probably is just as messy too. Though, he didn’t quite pull it off as well as her. Given she laughed at him when he pulled back. 

“You’re a mess.” She laughed, running her thumb over his bottom lip. Focusing on the cut he got in the fight.

“Your fault,” He mumbled, leaning into her hand, “What else am I supposed to do?”

He tried to kiss her again, but she giggled against his lips. Giving him a chaste one before patting his thigh.

“Better get me home before my father decides you’re the next hide on the wall.”

He cursed under his breath. Moving back to his seat and putting the truck in drive. Trying to ignore the feeling of Rose’s hand in his hair and her humming. Those things would probably be the last thing he needed to be thinking about when pulling into her drive.

Which he was against. But she coaxed him into doing it by playing the right cards. The ones he fell sucker to almost every time, especially for her.

Pete Tyler was sitting in the driveway. James knew he was in for it by the look he got when he put it in park. Instead of flying out of the drive like any other person, he got out with Rose. Grabbing her hand. 

Which was arguably the stupidest decision he made all night. Grabbing her hand in front of her father like this wasn’t doing anything for him. Pete just glared at him harder.

Rose gave him a reassuring squeeze. He hoped that her showing fondness for him would save him some skin. The instinct deep in him doubted it would.

Pete glanced down between them, “Did y’all have a good night?”

It wasn’t a pleasantry. But James treated it as one, “Yes sir.”

The two words came out as if he should’ve given them with a salute. He held back the impulse to do so sarcastically.

“You should’ve talked to me beforehand.” He said thickly.

James suddenly felt like he should’ve at least tried to sharpen up  a bit. He felt a bit bare in his untucked shirt, messy hair, and jeans tucked into boots. He held his head high still. There wasn’t any use in putting it down at this point. He would rather be caught looking scared in front of Jimmy Stone.

Rose pulled her hand from his and walked over to her dad. He didn’t fall for her scheme like James, “Rose. Get inside.”

“Why should I?” She tested him, trying to hide her grin.

“It’s nearly 3 am, you still live in my house, and you might as well and go ahead and get your trouble with your mother over with.”

Rose sighed and took a few steps behind Pete but didn’t go inside. He didn’t take his eyes off James. He had the same challenging look that Rose did earlier. James understood what it meant to inherit looks in that moment. Even if they meant different things.

“Your daughter is amazing, sir. I was lucky to get to hang out with her tonight.”

“You sure are. Where’d you get that bruise?”

James struggled for his words, “Uh, Jimmy Stone.”

“Where’d you go to run into him and get that?”

“He’s worse,” That was his attempt in defending himself, “And I’m sure you’ve got another way to find out besides me.”

Pete laughed and shook his head. James let a small smile come to his face. This was the opposite way of doing things for a first date. You meet and talk with the parents first. Not after. He didn’t really mind. Nothing really came smoothly for him. And he liked it that way.

Especially because their conversation ended with a little less of a glare. 

“I’ll let y’all say goodnight. But you better watch what you do, Smith.”

He nodded and Pete walked inside. Silhouette taking a stance by the window. Rose glanced back and tried to shoo it away. But eventually walked back towards him when it didn’t move an inch.

She took his hands, “I had fun tonight.”

“I hope so.” He felt awkward suddenly. Unsure of what could happen next.

“Sorry about Jimmy. And my dad.”

James shrugged, “I wouldn’t ask for anything else. Another great story to tell.”

“You wanna make another great story?”

He couldn’t get out his “What?” before she kissed him. Right there. In front of her dad in the window. Once again he felt like he was on fire. Every nerve in his body was ringing. He was careful to kiss her back, not that he wanted to be.

He was shaking slightly when she stood on her toes to whisper, “It’s okay, he likes you.”

James stood there for a second. Watching her skip back inside. Excited for whatever would come next.

[jaeminlore]

Leap of Faith | Jaemin

summary: jaemin is spider-man. he’s also in over his head, and head over heels in love with you.

words: 7.6k+

category: ps4!spidey universe, fluff, angst, bad writing 

warning(s): brief mentions of blood, fighting, and threats

a/n: you don’t have to have played the game to read this story. but if you did play the game, yes, i changed the outcome of **** *** because i’m selfish.

The streets of Brooklyn seem almost dead at midnight. You walk to your apartment, one earbud in while the other hangs off and bounces against your name tag every few seconds. Clack, clack, clack... 

You ignore it and focus on the beat of the drums that play through your head. Work was rough, and the weather seems rougher as white breaths surge through your lips. Winter feels horrible here, and walking home during the cold and dark season is not — and never was — your first choice of transportation. However, the subway is sketchy around this time, and you feel like you’ll fend better on the streets. Your apartment is in a well-lit area anyways, so who would try anything?

Clack, clack, clack... thud!

Nearby, a trashcan falls to the ground. The clatter alerts a nearby alley cat, who runs across the road towards safety. Trash falls across the ground. You keep walking.

You reach your apartment safely, but you don’t let out a breath of relief until you’re in your living room with the door locked behind you.

Then you turn on the light and see that everything in the room has been ransacked, and your pet cat is nowhere to be seen. Drawers and cushions are scattered across the linoleum, and all your clutter is, well, cluttering up any free space. You notice an old MCR cd and focus on it as you try to figure out what’s going on.

The first thing you do is pull your cellphone out of your pocket and dial 911. It rings once, twice, then “911, what’s your emergency?”

“My apartment has been—“ your phone flies across the room. You shriek in fear when it crackles with electricity. It drops to the floor and you watch as it glitches a few times before turning off completely. 

“Oops.” Timidly, the culprit appears, and it’s Spider-Man. The actual Spider-Man, with his red suit and tall stature. Your eyes focus on the large white spider that spans across his chest. Was that always there? You don’t think so. Maybe it’s an upgrade.

You still don’t know what he’s doing in your house.

Well, right now he’s shaking his hands, letting a few crackling strings of web fall to your floor. “I didn’t mean to use my electronic webs. I’ll buy you a new one.”

You blink. “What are you doing here? Did you mess up my place?”

“No!” Then he looks guilty. Well, his mask looks guilty (you aren’t sure how that’s possible). “I mean, I didn’t do it alone. I certainly didn’t mean to ransack your place specifically it’s just... me and my friend were roughhousing and it got out of hand.”

“Just say you were fighting bad guys in my house and go.” You grumble and make your way to the fridge, where the frozen pizza you bought is luckily still residing. “Why can’t you take your fights into the street? Or, like, not in someone’s home?”

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I really didn’t mean to. I can’t exactly control where the fights go. I’ll be more careful next time.”

“I hope there won’t be a next time,” you say honestly. “My insurance is pretty nonexistent.”

“Can I bring someone to help you fix the place?” His voice sounds shameful.

You’re upset that there’s a giant dent in your cabinets, but you don’t doubt that Spider-Man’s intentions were good. “I think I can handle myself. Thank you for getting your, uh, friend, out of my house.”

“It was Hammerhead,” Spider-man says goofily. “And no problem!”

You slip the pizza in the oven and when you turn around, Spider-man is gone. Nothing but an open window and a gentle breeze is left as evidence that he was even here.

Well, except for your destroyed kitchen. You sigh and close your window, flicking the lock. “Be safe,” you whisper against the cool glass.

🕷️

The broken cellphone looks even worse under Octavius Labs’ fluorescent lighting. You grimace, wondering if you could somehow get this fixed before your mother gets worried that you aren’t answering her calls. Luckily, Octavius Labs is pretty famous in Greenwich for its kind scientist and his assistant, who will almost always fix something for little to no cost.

Dr. Octavius must be out, seeing as his assistant is the only one in the lab when you enter. You’re pretty sure his name is Jaemin. You’ve seen him around, especially when his Aunt May owns the F.E.A.S.T. Shelter in Chinatown that you work at. Jaemin is known for making quick friends of the occupants there. He makes many of them feel comfortable and safe. He is exceptionally well at it.

He’s dressed in his usual: jeans and a too-long sweater. The only thing that’s distinctive about the outfit are his bright red Converse, scuffed beyond repair. His back is turned to you, and all his attention seems to be focused on the desk in front of him. You notice he’s sewing some kind of cloth — red and blue — together. Maybe he’s patching up a hoodie? Or some kind of electrical blanket?

You clear your throat.

He jumps, and the cloth is so quickly hidden away that you wonder if it was even there in the first place. Jaemin turns around and leans against the desk casually. “H-Hi.”

You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him, but in this cramped lab, you can see the soft brown curls that threaten his eyes. You can see his shiny white teeth, partly hidden behind chapped lips. He’s pretty; boyishly pretty, part of you thinks.

“Hey,” you say, confused by his not-so-secret secrecy. “Uh, do you, uh, know how to fix a phone?“

The boy winces when you hold up your phone in all it’s glitching glory. “What happened?”

You think about the masked stranger in your dorm last night. “I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you.”

Jaemin lets out a laugh that sounds a little too forced. “That bad, huh?” But he doesn’t question you any further. “I can probably have this done before the week is over.” 

You sigh in relief. “Thanks so much, Jaemin. I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it.” His eyes are leveled, lips drawn in a thin line. “Really.”

🕷️

Ever since the last bust at Rikers, Jaemin has been resuming his duty as friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. As exciting as huge battles are, battling five arch nemesis’ at once can take a lot out of a man. Jaemin thinks he has had enough broken bones to last him a lifetime. Or at the least, the next few years.

He’s perched atop Octavius Labs, listening to his headset spout off different crimes throughout the city. Sometimes he wishes that — despite the famous saying — the city would sleep. Just for a few hours. Enough for him to take a nap, or find a job more stable than Octavius Labs, or go on a date.

He scoffs at himself. “Date. As if anyone would deal with my secretive nature and inconsistent schedule.”

His earpiece beeps. He presses the call button. “Hey, Aunt May.”

“Jaemin, uh, sorry—“ the voice that comes through is flustered, but Jaemin knows he’s heard it before. “—it’s Y/n, from F.E.A.S.T.? Anyway I was just gonna let you know that I took the night shift here, and May said you might come by. I was just thinking that you could bring the phone?”

Each word sounds more nervous than the last. Jaemin is already swinging towards Chinatown when he replies. “Yeah, no problem! I’ll bring it by.”

He wonders why you sound so nervous when he’s the one who tore up your apartment and broke your phone. Not that you knew it was him, but still. His guilt should trump your nerves.

He drops onto the roof of F.E.A.S.T. and extracts the backpack he has webbed to the underside of the air conditioning unit. He quickly slides his sweater and jeans over his suit before tucking his mask in the bag. He hastily runs his fingers through his hair in an effort to look presentable, and then he’s walking down the fire escape and entering F.E.A.S.T. through the front door.

F.E.A.S.T. is essentially a giant gymnasium, with beds and chairs and tables all scattered around for whoever is occupying them at the moment. Jaemin figures Aunt May is either in the kitchen or in her office, but he finds you at a table, playing chess with an older woman. “Y/n, I brought your phone.”

You look up from the checkered board. Your cheeks are still rosy from the chilly air, and your hair — albeit tied up — is rather windswept. There’s one strand that hangs just over your eyes, and it makes him want to tuck it back behind your ear. Then he thinks that sounds too intimate, too weird when he’s just the boy who broke your phone. 

Then you’re tucking your hair behind your ear by yourself, and the moment is gone. “Thanks! How’d you fix it so fast?”

Jaemin’s neck feels hot when you smile at him like that. “I-It was nothing, really.” He doesn’t want to admit that he nearly wiped out your entire cloud, and it took him a good few hours and a few deep dives into reddit forums to figure out how to get it back. He’s still working on getting the hang of his new web designs. It was extremely unfortunate that Hammerhead insisted on fighting inside of your apartment. In retrospect, you’re lucky Hammerhead didn’t decide to ram through your wall.

“Of course it is! You saved me a lot of money and time.” You reach out and squeeze Jaemin’s arm reassuringly. “I know I probably interrupted whatever you were working on, so is there any way I can thank you? Maybe take you out for pizza?”

Jaemin nearly denies, because he knows this scenario all too well: someone nice shows the littlest amount of interest in him, and he ruins it because of his spidey schedule.  He knows what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna schedule a time for pizza, and he’s gonna get a dispatch call, and while he’s stopping thugs from holding up a gas station, you’ll be leaving the pizza place, vowing to never call him again. 

It always happens like that, because he can’t be Spider-man and lead a normal life. He’s tried. He’s failed. Horribly. Multiple times. He’s not ready to do it again.

But then May is sidling up to the two of you, and her eyes are sparkling in a way they haven’t for a few months. “Jaemin would love to go out with you! Gosh, it’s been years since he went out with someone his own age.”

You squeeze his arm again, and Jaemin knows it’s supposed to be reassuring but it’s dizzying more than anything, and he blinks a few times before he remembers where he is. He’s at F.E.A.S.T., with you, and his Aunt has just set him up for a date. Wait, a friendship get-together. Not a date. Because Spider-man doesn’t date, and that means that Na Jaemin doesn’t date.

You seem all too excited about the thought of pizza, and it makes Jaemin’s heart ache when he thinks of your pretty lips turned into a frown once you realize he’s stood you up. But he thinks you might give him the same look if he says no. “Okay. How’s tonight, after your shift?”

“Great!” Then you let go of his arm, and you’re walking away, and Aunt May has this look on her face like she knows.

So Jaemin blushes. “I’m gonna go for a walk.”

🕷️

He doesn’t go for a walk, he goes for a wall-crawl downtown, patrolling the streets as the day turns to the dawn. He put his number into your phone when he fixed it, so it’s really up to you to drop a call whenever your shift is over. He prays that until then no call comes in. He prays that for once this city’s police force can hold their own. Just until he can get pizza with you.

He thinks of this pizza when he swings towards Central Park and stops a mugger from taking a lady’s purse. He thinks of your clear and happy eyes when he rescues a cat from a tree. He thinks that he’d really like to hear your soft giggle again, because he’s almost forgotten it, and he’s sure it’s a nicer sound than cars honking and men cursing. 

Jaemin makes a joke to a robber just as the man getting pushed into a cop car, and then his phone rings. It’s Yuri, alerting him of some illegal gun trade in Brooklyn. It makes him worry, wondering if it’s anywhere near your apartment and if it’s safe for you to go home.

Someone called him while he was on the phone with Yuri, and he checks his voicemails to hear your sweet voice. “Hey, Jaemin. It’s me again. Y/n, that is. I don’t think you’ve forgotten me but I don’t know how many people you talk to. Does that sound weird? Sorry. Anyways, I was thinking we could just order pizza and eat it at F.E.A.S.T during my ten o’clock break? I know it’s late but just... just let me know, Jaemin. Thanks.”

Jaemin wants to go. He can make it too, if he busts this trade quickly. 

He’s Spider-man, so he thinks he might be able to do it, but he’s also Na Jaemin. And Jaemin is bad at time management and even worse at relationships.

The clock strikes ten o’clock and he’s still trying to get through the intricate ventilation system. He curses under his breath; he feels angry at himself once again for breaking a promise, but there’s a city at stake.

There’s no telling where those guns will go; who they will hurt. If he can get to them in time and destroy the guns, everything will be worth it. Even breaking up a relationship before it even starts.

🕷️

He reaches F.E.A.S.T. just before the clock strikes midnight. His suit is covered by civilian clothes. His mask is tucked away in his messenger bag. The guns are all destroyed.

You walk out of the back door just as Jaemin is about to walk in. “Oh. Hey.”

He feels nervous again. That jittery feeling in his chest is back, but it’s smothered by guilt. “I’m so, so sorry. I promise I didn’t mean to be so late. Something came up and—“

“It’s okay,” you say. “I wasn’t even sure if you’d get the voicemail, so don’t sweat it.”

Jaemin is sweating it. Literally. He can feel the perspiration creep up where his suit meets his skin. His heart is beating fast again. His palms are warm. “Still... I’m sorry. Can I make it up to you? Walk you home, maybe?”

“How about you walk me to my train?” You smile softly, “I’m taking Q at Canal Street Station.”

“Yeah,” Jaemin breathes, “I can do that.”

He spends most of the walk trying to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. Once he can hear over his heartbeat, he realizes you’re telling him about your day.

“May said we’re getting more people the colder it gets,” you start. “Which is a good thing, I suppose. It’s better they stay at F.E.A.S.T. than out on the streets, but we still need more volunteers. I was thinking of staying over a few nights, so that May will get the nights off, but I have classes and an apartment to keep up, so I don’t know.”

“What are your classes for?”

“Teaching,” you reply. Your cheeks are suddenly dusted with pink under the streetlight.

“Oh yeah? What for?”

“Just early childhood education. Preschool or daycare or something like that, you know? Nothing special.”

“Nothing special?” Jaemin scoffs. “That’s like, the most important job in the whole world. Teachers shape kid’s lives. They’re like, modern day heroes.”

“I think our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man took that role already,” you say.

“Right.” Jaemin suddenly feels hot under his hoodie. He’s hoping desperately that you don’t notice the red, white, and blue suit just underneath his clothing. “What do you, uh, think of him. Spider-man, I mean?”

“Funny you should ask,” you mutter. “You might not believe this, but he’s the one who broke my phone.”

Jaemin feels a thin sheen of sweat line his suit. “No way.”

“Yeah,” you mutter, “I’m just glad you were able to fix it.”

“It was the least I could do.” For ruining your apartment. For breaking it in the first place.

Jaemin’s earpiece beeps. He pretends to scratch his ear as he answers the call. “Spider-Man, did you miss me?”

He nearly groans out loud before remembering where he is. He quickly mutes the call just as you reach your building. “Goodnight, then. Have sweet dreams.”

You smile softly, and Jaemin can’t help but return it. “See you later?”

Jaemin nods. “Yeah! Yeah, of course.”

As soon as the door closes behind you, he unmutes the earpiece. “What do you want, Screwball?”

The girl cackles through the comm. “Welcome to the grand show, Spidey! Today’s challenge is stopping the Brooklyn Bridge from blowing up! But not before you answer my riddles, and find the bombs!”

🕷️

A late night commercial is a murmur in your living room as you continue to study. You don’t have any classes or work tomorrow, so you figure pulling an all-nighter won’t hurt anything. You’ll sleep in tomorrow and then head to the store with the list of supplies May emailed you. You know she’s been overworked as winter draws nearer, so it’s the least you can do after she’s given you the day off.

The commercial ends, and it’s replaced by the late night news. You reach for the remote to turn it off, but pause when they mention Spider-Man. You turn it up. “... Screwball is a well-known adversary to Spider-Man, always creating challenges to stream live. Tonight, bombs were planted under the Brooklyn Bridge, and while police filed to the area immediately, they were unable to find the explosives. Spider-Man managed to crawl under the bridge and dispose of them just in time, throwing them toward the sky and webbing them so that they blew up out of harms way. Twitter blew up over the surprise fireworks, while Screwball was quickly found and arrested. Reports say her lawyer is willing to fight under the grounds that Screwball herself didn’t plant the bombs, only live-streamed Spider-Man’s mission. Her identity is still remaining a secret, but rest assured, she’s locked up tonight...”

The television clicks off as soon as you hear a knock on your window. Keeping the remote in your hand, you raise it above your head and quickly pull the curtain aside. You nearly shriek at the sight of Spider-Man himself, all dressed in red and blue.

You raise the windowpane. “What’s going on?”

“Aw, you didn’t miss me?” Spider-Man leans his hip against the sill and you swear you can hear a smile in his voice. He quickly straightens up. “Actually, I came to make sure your phone was okay, and that no one has broken in.”

“Since you broke in, you mean?” you quip, lowering the remote. “I’m fine. My friend fixed it, actually.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” 

You grin. “Yeah, it was cool of him to do it for free. So... this Screwball business, huh?”

Spider-Man lightly taps his forehead against the fire escape. “She’s killing me. She uses all these loopholes to basically stay out of Rikers. Stupid, really.”

He moves backwards, and then winces suddenly. 

“What’s wrong?” You don’t know why you feel so concerned. After all, Spider-Man has done nothing for you except break your phone and give you a minimum of two heart attacks. Still, he did come to check on you (a week late.)

“Nothing,” Spider-Man says. “Just sore from all the swinging. I’ll go home and take a soothing bubble bath before I get back into the swing of things.” He — his mask? — winks at you. 

It was such a stupid pun that you couldn’t help but smile. “Okay, well good luck with that.”

He’s gone after that. He shoots a web at the building across the street and swings away, like some kind of phantom. You wait until you can’t see him anymore before closing the window.

You get back to your studying, thinking only briefly about the web-crawler.

Because really, what he heck was he doing here?

🕷️

When you wake up at noon, you check your email. Then you see that Jaemin sent you a text, asking if he could come along on the shopping trip. May must’ve told him about her plans for you.

You tell him to meet you at F.E.A.S.T. in an hour, which is just enough time to eat and get ready.

Jaemin is a very cute boy. Especially when he wears his oversized blue sweater brandishing Octavius Labs’ logo. His wire-rimmed glasses keep slipping off his nose as he talks to Miles, another volunteer-slash-worker at F.E.A.S.T., and he keeps pushing them up absentmindedly. You kind of want to take a picture and keep the visual forever. But Miles peaks over Jaemin’s shoulder and notices you. “Y/n! Hey!”

“Hi, Miles.” You wave gently and sidle up to Jaemin. “Thanks for working on a weekend so I could have the day off.” 

“No biggie,” Miles returns with a nonchalant wave. “Jaemin wouldn’t forgive me if I took the opportunity of spending the day with you away.”

Jaemin’s gaze flicks towards you, and his cheeks suddenly turn red. “I thought you’d need help.”

Your cheeks lift as you smile. “I appreciate it, Jaemin. You ready?”

The two of you make it to a department store, where you stock up on the clearance blankets and pillows. May has a budget for F.E.A.S.T., and you and Jaemin intend to get as much stuff as you can with it. You pick up a small plushie shaped like Spider-Man and nearly make a quip about last night before Jaemin gets a text alert.

He checks it and groans. 

“What’s wrong?” You peak over his shoulder and glance down at the text. It’s a news alert, and the news is that Screwball has been tweeting about another challenge for the masked hero. “Again? This soon?”

Jaemin pulls his aunt’s credit card out of his wallet and hands it to you. “You can finish the list, right? I’ve gotta go.”

“Wait—“ you grab his sleeve before you can think. “Why?”

“I— uh—“ Jaemin grimaces. “I forgot I had to be at the lab. I have, uh, a project I need to finish by tonight and I’m afraid I might not make the deadline.”

“Oh, okay,” you whisper, feeling insecure all of a sudden. He’s lying, that much you know, but you don’t know why he feels he needs to lie to you.

He walks out of the store, and you finish shopping for the list.

You return it to F.E.A.S.T., ignoring the blare of the television as it covers yet another one of Screwball’s schemes. As you hand out blankets, you ignore the sick feeling in your stomach.

How much of these challenges can Spider-Man take before he fails?

🕷️

That night feels like déjà vu. Another knock comes at your window, and this time, you let Spider-Man into your apartment. He’s groaning in pain, so you ease him into a sitting position at your table. 

You’re in the middle of making him tea when he speaks. “The challenges are getting harder. She’s timing them now, and the police still can’t find a real reason to keep her in jail for longer than a day. I think she’s in for a week for this one though, so that gives me a break.” He accepts the tea with a quiet thanks.

You watch in silence as he lifts his mask up just above his top lip, enough to take a small sip from the mug. His mouth looks familiar, but you can’t really place it. Besides, he pulls his mask down after every sip, so it’s not exactly easy to tell. “Can’t you just ignore her? Won’t she go away if you let the FBI handle it? It would make it less fun for her, right?”

Spider-Man leans his head against his palm and let’s out a long sigh. “I’ve never been able to trust those guys.”

“Okay, what about Sable?”

“Ew, worse.” 

“I figured, but wouldn’t it be better for them to take the fall instead of you?”

Spider-Man lets a bitter laugh escape him, “I’d have to take the fall no matter who Screwball challenged. Jameson would certainly talk about it over his stupid radio show that everyone seems to believe—“

“I don’t,” you say, because it’s important that he knows. It’s hard to see someone who is clearly just as young as you, risking his life every day. “Anyone with half a braincell can see that you’re doing your best.”

“But is it enough?” Spider-Man says. “Because Screwball nearly flooded the Rockefeller Center today. And that’s certainly not as bad as blowing up a bridge but after a week in prison? She’ll have a horrible plan, I know. And I don’t know if I can keep up. It’s creeping into my personal life, too.”

“What do you mean?” 

Spider-Man takes an anxious sip of chamomile tea. “There’s this... friend. And I kind of really like them, but keeping my secret— my life, basically from them is really hard. I would love to tell everyone close to me, you know? But it’s such a huge risk. If anyone knew who I found important— if Screwball knew...”

“I understand.” Your words are barely comprehensible. You reach forward and grab the boy’s gloved hand. It looks kind of silly: his bright red gloves again your bare skin. But it also looks like your hands belong there; together.

Spider-Man swings away within the hour, but your mind stays fixed on him deep into the night.

🕷️

The next time Jaemin has free time, he visits you at F.E.A.S.T. Today you’re supervising the children that live there, as they paint pictures.

“Hey,” Jaemin whispers. 

You turn towards him, a bright smile on your face and pink paint on your cheek. 

Suddenly Jaemin feels too warm under his lavender sweater. “This is a cute little class. Is it new?”

“Well, May’s driving a bus full of adults to the job fair across town. I needed something to keep the kids distracted until their parents came home.”

“Do you need help?” Jaemin asks, looking around. “Is Miles here?”

“He said he has extracurricular activities,” you shrug. “It’s okay, we’re having fun.”

Jaemin gets along with the kids well enough. They like him as long as he complements them on their paintings. There’s even a little girl that seems to have a crush on him. She ends up following him around the majority of the time, so Jaemin lets her hold his hand and help him clean up the cups of dirty paint water.

You’re in your element. Jaemin can see why you want to be a teacher, as you’re good at it. You’re gentle and encouraging, but authoritative enough to keep all kids at bay. Jaemin would’ve never pictured you as the authoritative type, but now he certainly doesn’t want to get on your bad side.

He feels affection bloom across his chest. There’s something so genuine about watching someone in their element. Someone so invested in their own interests that they don’t even notice how big their smile has gotten; how their eyes suddenly seem to glow. There’s this halo of purity and love that circles around them, and right now it’s around you and Jaemin thinks he’s going to melt at the sight.

He absolutely adores you. He adores you and all you stand for. Though he’s only known you for a short time, he wants it to be more. He wants to make it official and be able to hold your hand. He wants to kiss you hello and goodbye. He wants people to know he’s your boyfriend and tell him how lucky he is so he can reply, “I know.”

He wants to show you the love you show the world. 

You look up and brush your hair out of your face. “What’s wrong? Is there still paint on my nose? I thought I got it off...”

“No, you’re good.” Jaemin clears his throat and returns his attention to the kids.

🕷️

Jaemin walks you home after your shift. Out of hospitality (and your extreme fondness for Jaemin) you invite him inside.

He walks straight to the kitchen and grabs a mug out of your cupboard. It’s the same one you usually give to Spider-Man when he comes over, and you feel a bit possessive over it for that reason.

You take it out of his hands. “Maybe... let’s use different mugs. This is— My friend, he— This is the mug he uses when he comes over.”

“Oh.” Jaemin blinks. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I—“ Jaemin isn’t even supposed to know where your cupboard is. Only Spider-Man has been in your kitchen.

Stupid.

“It’s okay.” Your features soften and Jaemin notices the way you hold the mug close to you.

“Is your friend- I mean- Do you like him?” Jaemin doesn’t know why he feels jealous right now. If you say yes, you’ll be talking about him. He’s not sure why it bothers him so much that you might like Spider-Man more than you like Na Jaemin.

“No...” You place the mug back in its place. “I just- You know a lot of people at F.E.A.S.T. are just people looking for safety? Away from their homes or relationships or whatever?”

Jaemin urges you on with a confused nod.

“I don’t think my friend has a place like that. He’s got a lot of enemies and I want him to always feel welcome here. So I don’t want his favorite mug to be dirty if he arrives late tonight for some tea.”

Jaemin knows it’s not the appropriate time, but he really can’t think of anything but pulling you into his arms and kissing your breath away.

There’s no one else in the state of New York as caring as you. Not to Jaemin. Even as Spider-Man, no one has so casually extended their hospitality to him. He carries danger around with him wherever he goes, and yet you make sure his favorite mug is filled with tea every night.

“Jaemin? Are you okay?”

Jaemin bites his lip to keep his affections from spilling out. “Yeah. I’m great, actually.”

🕷️

Jaemin wants to scream. Every single time he sees you, he wants to confess that he’s the masked boy that’s been visiting you every week.

But it’s hard. He doesn’t know who to trust anymore. Not that he doesn’t trust you, but he has no idea who Screwball’s minions are. What if they find you and take you away? 

Hanging out with you as Na Jaemin is dangerous enough, but as Spider-Man? Jaemin seriously begins to wonder if he has any brain cells at all. 

But he likes you. He really, really likes you. He likes you so much for just being around him — Spider-Man, that is — and never demanding anything of him. He can’t remember the last time someone has seen the mask and not asked for any favors.

And as Jaemin, he’s failed you. He always fails you because he has Spidey business to get to. He’s left you disappointed more times than not, and at this point he’s pretty sure you like his alter ego better than him. Not that he can blame you.

It’s another night of infiltrating demon warehouses when he finds himself wishing he could just be honest with you about everything. It’s really selfish, though, so he tries not to think about it and focuses on alerting the police that he’s caught more demons.

“Yuri,” he addresses the captain tiredly, “I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.”

“I wouldn’t do that yet, Spider-Man. Sorry, but the networks getting alerts of a hostage situation in Greenwich. We don’t have any other info yet, but we might need you.”

Spider-Man’s comm beeps. “I’m getting another call, Yuri. I’ll swing to Greenwich and call you back for more info.”

“Thanks, Spidey.”

He answers the new call. “Hello?”

“Aw, did the police already tell you? I was hoping to be the one to break the news! Anyways, today’s challenge is for you to go on a scavenger hunt through Greenwich and find the prize!”

Jaemin’s stomach suddenly feels heavy. “What’s the prize, Screwball?”

“Don’t you know? What’s most important to Spider-Man right now? Who owns that apartment you’re always visiting? My viewers are just dying to hear what’s up. Maybe a love story to tell?”

“Screw off, Screwball.” Jaemin swings towards Greenwich. How did she find you? How would she know that you’re important to him and not just a business partner?

Jaemin can feel the tears stinging already and it sucks because he’s gotta make smart quips to Screwball. He’s gotta play her game so she cooperates. All she wants is content. If Jaemin gives her content she won’t hurt you. It makes him so angry that Screwball is using you for views. Using you to force him to play this stupid little game. 

He wants to cuss Screwball out but he isn’t sure how young her viewers might be. 

“Are they safe?” He hopes the fear in his voice isn’t as evident as he thinks it is. 

“Your precious little darling is hanging out with me! Don’t worry, I’ve got a bucket of popcorn for the two of us and a blanket to cozy up until you get here.”

“Let me talk to them.” He swings over the Rubin Museum and perches on top of the building. He struggles to catch his breath as Screwball cackles.

“Can’t go a minute without talking to your sweetheart?” Screwball coos, but she hands the phone over anyway.

“I’m okay,” is the first thing you say, though your voice is shaky. You follow up with, “Just stay safe. Take your time; I’m okay.”

As soon as your voice catches in your throat Jaemin wants to confess. He wants to you to know that he’s not just some random boy in a mask. He’s Jaemin, your friend, and he loves you so so much. He needs you to know that just in case he- 

Just in case he fails you.

But he can’t tell you because your phone call is being live-streamed for all of the stupid world to hear and damn it if the police couldn’t do their job just once and get you to safety.

The comm begins to break up and Jaemin knows this stupid wild goose chase is almost over. He knows this is when Screwball drops the plot twist and tells him he only has so much time left. But he’s still swinging from building to building with no idea where he’s going or where you are. 

“Y/n here certainly would like you to come quickly, Spidey. We’re just chilling on the balcony, enjoying the night air. Would be a shame if they fell off, huh?”

“You do anything to Y/n and I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Screwball cackles. “You’ll turn me in? I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“You’re blackmailing me. You’re holding someone hostage, you—”

The comm switches, and it’s Yuri in a distorted voice. “We blocked the stream for thirty seconds. You’re not live. Screwball’s stream has a private network and firewall to break through. Our team’s working on it but we need you to keep talking. Alright, time’s u-“

Jaemin listens silently while Screwball tells her viewers that she’s back online. He does his best to try and pick apart the background noises. Any small clue that might show him where you are. He knows the two of you are on a balcony, or a ledge, or something you can fall off of because Screwball doesn’t make empty threats. 

Then he hears it: the sirens. They’re loud through the stream but faint through his own ears. 

He swings toward the sound, desperate to find you before Screwball does anything.  

“What do you want from me, Screwball?” 

To keep Screwball talking, he’s gotta ask her questions about herself.

🕷️

Okay, so you don’t exactly know how you managed to get ambushed by Screwball. All you know is that you were on your way to F.E.A.S.T one minute and the next, you were being dragged into a dark van. After screaming — and being consequently gagged — Screwball revealed herself to you. 

Now you’re tied to stool, balanced on the edge of a balcony in the middle of some neighborhood you aren’t familiar of. 

You’ve managed to stop your blubbering for now and focus on the sky until Screwball lets you speak to Spider-Man. That’s when you’re voice breaks and you find yourself panicking because that’s not Spider-Man’s voice over the comm.

It’s Jaemin’s.

And it sort of makes sense now that you think about it — Jaemin and Spider-Man have never been in the same place at once. Jaemin went directly to Spider-Man’s mug as if it were his own. And Jaemin seemed almost over-eager to fix your phone, as if he somehow had something to do with it.

Right now you don’t really care. Right now you just want him here, with you. You want Screwball arrested and you want to be home, in your apartment, snuggled under a blanket with Jaemin where nothing can hurt you. Either of you.

You want Jaemin safe too.

The tears bring on an instant headache so you do your best to keep them from forming behind your eyes. Instead you focus on the city. If you try hard enough, you can ignore Screwball’s annoying voice. 

You gaze at the skyline and focus on looking for Jaemin. He’s gonna be here any minute now. He has to. 

“Better hurry up, Spidey, or it’s sleepy time for your little sweetheart!” 

“Aren’t you talking about yourself?” Jaemin swings from a nearby building and kicks the camera out of Screwball’s hand.

You close your eyes during most of the fight. Based on the quips the two keep shooting at each other, it doesn’t sound like a dangerous one. Jaemin’s probably just stalling for the police. Still, it makes you feel queasy and a little bit scared, so you’d rather not watch.

The police finally arrive around ten minutes later, after Jaemin has successfully webbed Screwball to the ground so that she can’t escape.

As soon as she’s in handcuffs, he turns to you and begins to free you from your restraints. “Y/n, I’m so sorry. I had no idea she’d ever find out about you. I didn’t know they kept such close tabs on me. I shouldn’t have been so reckless and stupid. I shouldn’t have visited you so often, but I didn’t want to stay away and—”

You grab Jaemin by the shoulders and pull him into your embrace, burying your face in his neck. “Jaemin, it’s okay.” 

He chokes out a sob and squeezes you tighter. “I’m sorry I did- didn’t tell you earlier...”

“It’s okay,” you whisper. “Now, let’s go home.”

🕷️

The two of you take turns showering at your place, and while Jaemin is cleaning up, you watch the news to make sure that Screwball is being locked up for good.

After a positive confirmation, you turn the television off and go to your room.

Jaemin walks in moments after, face red from the too-hot water. He’s got on one of your hoodies and a pair of your sweatpants, and he looks so broken-hearted that you can’t help but feel sad too.

“Please don’t blame yourself.”

Jaemin crawls under your dark blue covers. He turns to face the wall, away from you. “You could’ve died.”

“I know,” you whisper. Anxiety pools in your chest at the thought. But you don’t want to think about what happened. You want to be distracted, and you want to feel safe.

You wrap your arm around Jaemin’s waist and press your forehead against the space between his shoulder blades. “I didn’t, though, and that’s thanks to you.”

Jaemin’s body shudders again, and your heart breaks at the sound of him crying. You squeeze him tighter and kiss his nape. “We’re safe now. It’s okay.”  

🕷️

Jaemin keeps his distance from you for the next few weeks, and while you know why, it doesn’t make it any easier to bare.

You miss him greatly, and constantly ask May how he’s doing. She’s tried to get him to reconcile with you, but it’s no use. He’s blaming himself for the Screwball incident. You want to yell at him and remind him that •he’s• the hero of this story. He’s the one who saved you. 

Without him you wouldn’t even be here.

But Jaemin doesn’t see it that way. You keep up with the news and follow all the Spider-Man blogs you can, trying to figure out whether or not Jaemin is okay. The last thing you want is for him to do something reckless out of guilt. Luckily, though, he’s back to fighting smaller-scale crimes and tweeting from his Spider-Man account.

So he’s okay. At least, he’s okay enough. 

You know it’s all just one big distraction from that night, so you keep a tea kettle on the stove every night, just in case. You never know when he’ll finally break and swing by.

Your intuition rings true by the end of the week, when a familiar knock appears at your window. You open it with haste, hopeful of a tearful — or just joyful — reunion with your friend. Instead, Jaemin seems rather reluctant to be back at your place.

His mask is off, but his suit (or what’s left of it) is still on. His hair is a mess, and his face is covered in sweat and grime. There are tears in his suit from who-knows-what, and to top it off, Jaemin’s lip is bleeding.

“Jaemin, what happened?”

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, clutching at his ribs. “It’s just... I need help and no one else knows my secret. Except Aunt May, and she’ll worry too much. And Miles, of course, but he’s just a kid—“

You interrupt him. “Miles knows?” 

“Long story,” Jaemin grunts. “Can I come in?”

You help him onto your sofa and run to grab some supplies. After making him change into more comfortable clothes, you take a damp washcloth and begin to wipe the sweat and dirt off of his face. “What happened?”

His eyes stay focused on yours for a moment. Your heart skips a beat at the way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks. You don’t think you’ve ever been this close to him before.

“I- It was just a drug bust. I was distracted because my earpiece was on and it picked up Jameson’s podcast. I should’ve turned it off, but you know how he likes to insult me, and I felt like I deserved it so I listened. It cost me a kick to the rib and a punch to the face, though.” He tries to laugh, but it comes out as a strangled noise. “Ow.”

“I’m gonna get an ice pack,” you say, already halfway towards the kitchen. You open the freezer. “Do you think they’re broken?”

“No, they’ve been through worse.” Jaemin watches you walk back towards him. 

You sit right beside him and hand him the frozen pack. “Here. You apply it. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

Jaemin is still watching you. Although you feel nervous under his gaze, you can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking as his eyes flit over your lips for what feels like the hundredth time. “I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

“Oh,” you mumble, suddenly too shy to look at him. “It’s okay. You needed your space.”

“Yeah, but you were affected too. You were affected more than me, and I abandoned you when you needed me. I shouldn’t have done that, and I hope I can make it up to you.”

You smile sadly. “Jaemin, all I want is for you to be safe. Safe and happy, that’s all.”

Jaemin is still looking at your lips, but this time he’s leaning in. His eyelashes flutter again as he closes his eyes and you find yourself frozen in place as you prepare for the inevitable.

Jaemin is going to kiss you.

His lips find yours within seconds. They’re warm and soft, and when they slot between yours you think some people were just made to fit together. 

You feel one hand go to cup your jaw, but it doesn’t stop there. Jaemin reaches up and takes a gentle hold of your hair, tugging at the roots every moment or so. 

Being so close to him is overwhelming. You can smell his cologne, and although it’s mixed with sweat, it isn’t any less desirable than before.

You think of Jaemin’s soft eyes and warm smile and low voice, and you sigh into the kiss. Your heartbeat quickens when he smiles suddenly against your lips. “I like you, Y/n.”

You giggle and break contact. “I hope so.”

Jaemin manages to contain his blush as he rubs the back of his neck. “I really missed you when we were apart, and I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”

“So let’s try it out,” you whisper. “Me and you. We’ll protect each other, alright?”

Jaemin hums and presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “Alright.”

[ehstarwar]

under thy own life’s key (3/7)

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just… in a funk.” That’s a good way to phrase it.

‘I mutually masturbated with my best friend and now all I can think of is how much he means to me and how much I want him to fuck me into the mattress for the rest of time. This is causing a personal turmoil that is manifesting in me being rude to everyone who cares about me, including said best friend who will probably never talk to me again when we get back from this trip’, seems too on the nose.

-

Rey deals with the aftermath of her exploits with Ben in a very healthy, mature manner. (She throws a temper tantrum.)

-

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4K

Read on AO3

Notes: happy easter, plz enjoy this basket of sin ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

Chapter 3: strike those who wish them best

-

Rey wakes up to cool sheets and the light filtering in from the small window across from the bed. A stark contrast to yesterday morning when she’d woken up in Ben’s embrace. She tries not to feel disappointed by it. Rey turns over, staring at the top bunk, replaying the events of last night in her head. 

She’d had masturbated, not a wholly unusual event by itself, but with Ben. With her best friend, who she’s known for years. The same best friend she will be spending the next four days with. In this same bed. Where they’d masturbated. Together. 

She wishes she was more experienced sexually; maybe then this wouldn’t have been a big deal then. Maybe she would’ve been able to wake up and go have breakfast and celebrate her friends and not even spared the whole endeavor a second thought. Maybe she wouldn’t be dying to know how Ben felt about this. 

The image of him, body crouched on the bed, hand covered in his come, was seared into her brain; a tattoo she didn’t know she’d be getting. She’d never seen such a dark look in Ben’s eyes. It terrified her as much as it aroused her. When the tell-tale licks of heat start in her core, Rey knows its time to get up before her brain goes down a path that leaves her aching all day.

-

Rey doesn’t see Ben at breakfast. Rose tells her that he went for a run with Phasma before she woke up and it makes something red-hot take over her vision for a minute. Just because Phasma is a tall, grecian, etherial beauty that can only be rivaled by Aphrodite herself, doesn’t mean anything. And even if it did mean anything, Ben isn’t Rey’s to worry about. 

Also, Rey is pretty sure Phasma transcends sexuality all together, so she’s crazy to be worried about her and Ben.

Rey is still a grouch for the rest of the morning, just in case.

It’s nearly noon before Ben gets back, sweaty and ripe and literally glowing, and Rey has to take a minute for herself so that she doesn’t rip her hair out. 

“Damn, Solo! Is that what you’re hiding under all those sweaters?” Jannah makes a show of wiggling her eyebrows at Ben and that same red-hot feeling returns with a vengeance. The tips of Ben’s ears turn red and he stutters something bashful under his breath. 

“Jannah are you going to come with us to the supermarket or not?” Rey asks. Well, asks would be a nice way to put it. Snapping with venom of a viper would be a more accurate description. 

“Ugh…” Jannah says, looking at Rey like a deer in headlights, “I think I’ll pass on this one.”

“Okay!” Rey realizes she may have been too harsh, so she tries to make up for it by being overly cheerful. It just makes her look insane. “I’m going to go grab my shoes,” She shouts to Poe as she descends the stairs to her room. 

By the time she’s able to locate the canvas Keds that have definitely seen better days, Ben is standing in the doorway. 

“How was your run?” She asks as she tugs her shoes on with much more force than necessary.

“Good… its hot as fuck out there, though. I’ll probably need an ice bath just to cool off.” Me and you both, mister.

“Well, good luck with that!” Rey’s high-pitched voice sings out. She goes to walk past him and up the stairs. Ben’s hand catches her arm right as she’s about to pass him and her heart stops.

“Rey, is everything alright?” His voice is full of concern and it makes Rey want to die a little.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Ben gives her a look that really makes her want to die.

“I didn’t want anything to be awkward after last night, so-”

“Honestly, nothing is awkward. Whatever you think in awkward is probably in your own head because I don’t feel it. So don’t worry so much.” 

Ben’s face falls as he releases her arm. For a moment, Rey is tempted to come clean with him; tell him that last night woke something in her that had long been forming and now the reality of it is crushing her and just being in the same room as him is almost too much. But she doesn’t. She calls out her goodbye as she walks up the stairs and tries to focus on literally anything besides his hurt expression when he let her go.

-

“Should we go with the corn tortillas or the flour ones?” Poe asks. 

“Corn. It will be more authentic that way.” Hux replies. 

Rey pushes the buggy as Poe, Rose, and Finn load it up with sugary junk that Hux promptly returns to the shelf. Her sour mood is palpable and the rest of her friend had chosen to steer clear of her for the time being. 

Rey hates this. She hates feeling this way, she hates making this trip anything less than the magnificent occasion Hux and Poe anticipated, she hates herself for not being able to just get over it. It would be so easy if she could just hate Ben, blame this all on him, but she can’t. It’s not his fault, just hers. 

“Oh, what about this, babe?” Poe say, holding up a giant bag of marshmallows that would make you dislocate your jaw to be able to stuff in your face. “It’ll be good for the bonfire tomorrow.”

Hux grumbles something about ‘glucose’ and ‘diabetic coma’, but tosses a bag in the buggy anyways. Sometimes it was so easy to see why Hux and Ben were friends.

“If you see anything you want, just toss it in, Rey. We still have a long time at the cabin and I know how you like your six meals each day,” Poe tells her. For the first time in her relatively short life, she doesn’t get the thrill of a supermarket stuffed with food that she could potentially have. She remembers the first time she walked into an actual grocery store, with fresh vegetables and a whole bakery, instead of just a gas station on a corner.

If eight year old could see Rey now, grumpy and quiet, not shoving her arms full of any food she could find, she’d hate herself. Twenty-five year old Rey kind of does too.

“I’m good. I’m sure you all will get enough.”

Three set of eyes turn back to stare at her, like she just spoke in pig latin. Hux just keeps wandering down the frozen food section.

“Peanut, are you okay? You’ve been a little… off today.” Rose asks, voice full concern.

“She means that you’ve been a heinous bitch,” Finn clarifies, making Rose slap his chest. Rey just rolls her eyes.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just… in a funk.” That’s a good way to phrase it. ‘I mutually masturbated with my best friend and now all I can think of is how much he means to me and how much I want him to fuck me into the mattress for the rest of time. This is causing a personal turmoil that is manifesting in me being rude to everyone who cares about me, including said best friend who will probably never talk to me again when we get back from this trip’, seems too on the nose. 

“Is it because of Ben? Do you not want to room with him any more?” Poe asks. Rey ignores the sharp flash of a glare Hue sends her way.

“No, that’s not it at all. It’s just… Ben is my best friend.” Finn clears his throat. “Sorry, one of my best friends,” Rey rectifies. “But sometimes I feel like I don’t know where we stand. Like if I annoy him too much, he’d never say. He’s just so damn thoughtful. It’s infuriating when I’m trying to figure out if I did something wrong.”

Her friends share a sheepish look before Rose speaks up again. “Have you tried talking about it with Ben?”

Rey scoffs. “If I told him that, he’d apologize to me and I’d feel even worse.”

“Did something happen?” Poe asks.

“No!” Rey shouts, a little too quickly, “Just tight quarters, and all…”

“You’re always welcome to come stay in my room if you need some space!” Rose pipes up, earning a wide-eyed look from Finn. Rey wants to say that if the two of them just fessed up and admitted they were together, they could’ve stayed in the same room and Rey would have been able to have her own room and she wouldn’t be in this mess at all. 

But there are levels of bitchyness that even Rey won’t stoop to.

In order to distract her friends from the inner crisis that was threatening to break loose, Rey throws a four-pack of instant mac & cheese in the buggy. They look placated enough to go back to grocery hauling. 

(The mac & cheese is entirely for their benefit and not because it has Rey’s favorite Galaxy Battles character on it.)

-

Those who stayed behind are down by the lake, so Finn and Rose make a bee line for it while Rey, Poe, and Hux unload the groceries. The banter between Hux and Poe is cute in a way that reminds her of old grandparents, who’ve been together for over 50 years and argue about the smallest thing, but love each other more than words.

They’re in a verbal spar about where to put the produce in the fridge when Ben comes in. He’d actually changed into his swim trunks today, the black ones his mother had bought him specifically for this trip. He’s shirtless, water droplets running down his chest, and hair slicked back, glossy and starting to curl. 

Rey bites her lip so hard she taste the metallic rush of blood in her mouth.

“You know we’re only staying here for another four days. You bought enough food to feed a small country,” Ben remarks, taking stock of the multitude of bags (paper, Hux insisted) lining the kitchen. 

“We’re having tacos for dinner! It requires a lot of ingredients, Benji,” Poe says without looking up. Ben comes to stand by Rey, helping her unpack all of the bags. 

“How’s the lake?” She asks, wanting to keep the conversation from returning to questions of her bad mood from earlier.

“It’s hot enough that the lake feels like bath water.”

“Mmm. That’s my favorite. Anything else is too cold.”

“Makes sense, for a desert rat.” She looks up to see ben smirking at her, playful glint in his eyes. Rey rolls her eyes, and bumps him with her hip.

“What? Can’t take the heat, city-slicker?” She taunts to him. Ben just plucks the can of refried beans out of her hands and places it on the top shelf, one she can’t get to without a ladder or freakishly tall legs. 

She realizes that this playfulness means that they’re back to normal, and Rey feels her heart swell with relief.

-

The four of them make sandwiches for everyone down by the lake, and Rey and Ben are charged with bringing it down while Hux and Poe find bowls for chips. Rey doesn’t mention that it’s probably best that they stay in the bag, knowing its a sorry excuse for some alone time. It is their bachelor weekend, after all.

They’re halfway down the path, a comfortable silence over them when Ben finally speaks up.

“You seem to be in a better mood than earlier.”

She shrugs.

“I got Galaxy Battles mac & cheese for 30% off, so it's kind of hard to have a bad day after that.” Ben hums quietly.

“I just wanted to make sure we’re cool. You sort of brushed me off earlier.” The guilt that had repressed itself resurfaced and Rey thinks about running away from this conversation.

“Sorry about that. It’s nothing, really. I’m better now, I promise,” She looks back over to him with a 1000-watt smile, hoping to appease Ben. His expression softens when he sees her, making Rey almost miss a step.

“Good. I don’t want anything to come between us.” His voice is strong and Rey is tempted to ask how he feels. She thinks better of it for a moment, knowing that prolonging this will just end badly.

“Me too, Ben.” It’s the first time all day she hasn’t had to lie. It makes her heart a little lighter. 

-

The rest of the day had gone by unceremoniously. Rey had apologized to Jannah (who was confused, but let it go when Rey brought her a white claw), spent the better part of the afternoon at the lake, and feasted on some delicious tacos for dinner. (The tacos were delicious because Ben took over once Poe burned his hand and Hux had threatened to call the national guard to come look at his wound).

Everything would have been perfectly fine if Ben didn’t look so fucking good. Like cover of GQ, built AF, gigantic manly-man but radiates softie vibes, good. Rey was dying. No human should be allowed to make taco consumption feel like a religious experience, but clearly no one told Ben that.

So now she’s in bed, with Ben, staring up in the darkness, holding onto the last shred of sanity that had the tenacity of dental floss. 

If this was her own bed, Rey would be able to scream into her pillow in agony. She’d be able to toss and turn to her hearts content. She wouldn’t have even been in this problem in the first place.

But she’s not in her own bed. She is in a queen sized (maybe) death contraption that was sent straight here from Satan himself. The frustration she felt all over (but particularly in her nether regions) was boiling over into hot tears pricking at her eyes. And she absolutely would not let herself cry.

Rey is an adult. She pays her rent on time (usually). She bypasses sugar-inundated treats for healthy, greener options (from time to time). She has a whole shelf in her bathroom dedicated to vitamins (and expired face masks). She will not cry out of sexual frustration.

If the tears leak out of the corners of her eyes without any resistance from her, that’s on them.

She turns to her side, away from Ben, to let the drops be absorbed by her pillow case, when she hears his breathing shift.

“Can’t sleep?” His voice is low, like he’s testing to see if she’s awake.

“Yeah. You?” She asks, muffling her voice in her pillow and hoping he can’t hear her involuntary sniffle. Which is, of course, no use.

“… Are you crying?”

“No.” Her voice betrays her and she feels ben scoot closer towards her.

“Rey.” The way he says her name makes a damn break inside of her.

“I can’t sleep and I’m crying about it like I’m some sort of petulant baby! It’s ridiculous! I have a job and insurance and and a bar cart for crying out loud, and I’m crying because I can’t sleep. What kind of adult am I? I mean, honestly Ben, how do you put up with me?”

She hears him chuckle before she feels his finger skim across her cheek, brushing away the fresh wave of tears that had fallen. She’s not sure if he could tell the way she chased his hand with her face when he moves it away.

“I choose to put up with you because I want to. I don’t see it as an inconvenience,” He says. Rey doesn’t respond, just lays there soaking up the words that cause a rush of dopamine to flood her brain.

After a minute, Ben speaks up again. “Would it be helpful if you did the same thing as last night-“”

“No. I… I’m… I don’t want to do that to you again.” I want to do much, much worse things.

“You act like it was a huge burden, like I don’t do it all the time,” Ben snorts. Images of Ben, casually lounging around his apartment, jerking off with no constraints, fill Rey’s head and it only makes the dull fire that’s been plaguing her all day grow even hotter.

“It’s just that… I’m so keyed up right now. Whenever I get like this, it’s harder to get off. If I try to get off now, I run the risk of being too wound up to let go and making it even worse.” Ben gives her a noise of understanding and they go back to laying in silence.

“I could help.”

Rey’s snaps towards him, meeting his milky brown eyes and realizing he’d been looking at her the whole time. She uses this to embolden herself and ask the next question.

“How?”

“However you need.”

The offer hangs in the air, like the Sword of Damocles, threatening to fall and burst the bubble Rey feels she and Ben are in.

Her gaze flicks down his body,  seeing where the blanket has shifted and his thigh is peaking out. She immediately rights herself, pulling her eyes back to his. But nothing gets past him, not even in the dead of night, when they’re illuminated only by the soft moonlight of their sole window. 

Ben pulls the blanks down further, revealing his milky thighs, wrapped in muscle and dusted with dark hair. Rey gulps and feels her body positively gush. 

“You don’t have to do this, Ben.” Her voice is a hushed whisper but feels like lightning in a silent storm.

“I know. I want to.”

Rey tentatively moves her hand to brush his thighs, just below where his boxer shorts began. She moves her whole body towards him, then, just as he spreads his leg further. Rey keeps her eyes on her hand on his thigh as she moves to push her leg over his. 

Rey wants to kiss the feet of whatever Deity forced her to wear her babydoll nightgown and forego shorts all together. 

The first brush of her covered cunt on his thigh sends a shock through her, making her shudder. Rey doesn’t dare look up at Ben, just keeps her eyes trained on where their bodies are now touching. She grips the underside of his thigh, pulling it up towards her so that her whole core is firmly resting on his tree-trunk thighs.

“Is this okay?” She asks, voice breathless and still refusing to look up.

“Yeah.” She feels less bad when she hears his voice is even more breathless than hers. 

The first experimental rocking of her hips feels like sweet heaven. So she does it again. And Again. And again. She grinds into him softly, trying to not show how desperate she is to shove herself on him and piston her hips as fast as humanly possible. Her panties become uncomfortably wet from her ministrations and, without thinking, Rey shoves her hands between them to push her underwear to the side. 

“Rey…” Ben’s voice chokes out. She can’t stop her rocking, even if she wanted to. But she asks him anyways.

“Is this okay?” He voice is a whine, high pitched and needy. Ben’s low mumble to the affirmative pushes her even further. She clutch him closer, feeling the way his ticklish hair rubs against her pussy lips. The warmth of his skin against her cunt. The tightening of muscles she feels beneath her. 

Rey rolls her body further onto him, trying to get an even better angle for her clit to brush up against. She’s over half of him now, face buried in his shoulder. She can smell him so much better like this. The overwhelming scent of body wash and laundry detergent; the slight hint of musk between his arms is her favorite. 

Her hand involuntary seeks purchase agains his chest, going to clutch his white shirt over his pec. Rey rocks harder and harder each time, letting out soft moans and squeaks when she catches her clit just right.  

Rey rides his thigh like a bull; bucking wildly, holding on for dear life. Her orgasm approaches and she slows her movements, wanting this to last as along as humanly possible. Maybe even for the rest of her life. 

“Rey!” Ben cries out again and her head instantly shoots up to look at him. His hands are gripping the bottom of the bunk above them. He is flushed down to his neck, and has sweat gathering at the base of his neck. His black hair is plastered to his forehead. But the most haunting this is his eyes. They’re open, and staring down to where Rey’s cunt is forcefully pushing against his thigh. 

He looks like he could eat her. 

Rey is coming before she knows it, unable to look away from Ben’s face. Her juices coat his leg as she still rocks agains him, slower now, but the slick sound of skin makes an obscene noise that makes him growl. She buries her face in his shoulder again, breathing heavy against him. Ben’s body is still underneath hers, knee up to keep Rey on him as she comes down from her high. When she calms down enough to reenter her body, she rolls off of him, wincing when she feels her sopping wet cunt pull off of his thigh. 

Rey finally gets the courage to look back up at him, and finds his eyes closed, looking like he was controlling his breathing. His neck and face are still flushed and she resist the urge to brush his hair back to see the tips of his red ears. 

She may had just ridden his thigh into oblivion, but casual touches of intimacy were too far to be risked. 

Ben stands up with a start, hopping up and turning to look back down at Rey, who is now in a blob on the bed. He regards her for a minute, and she him. When the white streak of his come starts trailing down his leg, she realizes what going on. 

“I’ll, uh… go clean up.” Ben says before turning to the bathroom. She catches another glimpse of his glistening thigh and another streak of come wandering down his leg. Rey is sure if she could move right now, she would be unable to stop herself from reaching out and licking it up.

Rey adjusts herself back on the bed, squarely on her side. She doesn’t care that she’s a wet, sticky mess between her legs. She doesn’t care her heart rate still hasn’t slowed down to a normal level. All she can think about his how good it feels to know she made him come. 

She’s asleep before Ben exits the bathroom.

[haeddoti]

This is my first blog-post and it is about some of the books I read between year 7 and 11 in my German high school. These books aren’t in a particular order, I just wrote all of them down and took some notes to guide me along. I’ll give a brief summary and then my thoughts about the books.

Without further due, let’s get into the series!

Nr. 1 “Hexen in der Stadt-Ingeborg Engelhardt”

We read this book in seventh grade and immediately after reading (actually during reading as well) we asked ourselves how and why someone thought “Hell yeah, that’s a topic for 11 year olds” since the book is originally listed for grade 5 and 6.

The story takes place in a German town during the Thirty years war, the witch hunts are running wild and the church is all over the place. The story follows a family of four who live in this town, the father is a doctor, one daughter is read-headed and the other a sleep walker. And although the father is greatly needed in this time, the towns people are really suspicious of the family, and they have to flee the city.

First of all, the book was so dense, it was almost unbearable. Definitely not something for children and yet the book won the “Youth literature award” in Germany, so I guess it wasn’t too bad after all. I honestly don’t remember a lot from it, I know we watched a horrible movie about it and I also remember that the pacing(?) in the book was weird, because the first 80% or so took reaaaally long to read through and virtually nothing happened and then in the last 20% everything happened all at once and it was just too much.

Nr. 2 “Am kürzeren Ende der Sonnenallee-Thomas Brussig”

The only (apparent) reason why we read this book was because we had our final class trip to Berlin in year 10.

 The setting is the DDR, East-Berlin to be precise, somewhere around 1970ish. Our protagonist Micha lives in a street which was cut in half my the Berlin Wall and he, unfortunately enough, lives in East-Berlin. He frequent meets with his friends in a nearby park where they listen to West-Music and swoon about Miriam, the neighborhood beauty who is kinda a not-like-other-girls-girl.

All in all, the books is about searching happiness and thinking about how it is so very close and yet never being able to reach it.

It was comfortable to read and overall it was an okay novel. I don’t remember much about it, although I literally read it a year ago. The insight about east-Berlin was cool, and the author definitely implemented own experiences and as someone who grew up in post-split Westgermany it was rather informative and interesting. The quote on the back of the book was also pretty.

“Happy people have a bad memory and rich memoirs”

Nr. 3 “Frühlings Erwachen-Frank Wendekind”

(Springs Awakening)

Oh. My. God. This whole topic was such a BS and I hated every second of it.

The book takes place, once again, in a German Town in a time where there is no Sex-Ed, aka 1900th century, which is also the topic of the book; Sex-Ed gone wrong. Our first protagonist Wendla grows up in a home with a loving, strict mother and far, far away from everything unholy like sex. Our second protagonist, Melchior, is a really smart, really handsome boy who is the top of his class and who likes to read provocative literature which makes him think about masturbation. His best friend is also handsome but really stupid but the social pressure keeps him from dropping out of school- that and his strict, abusive father. Melchior and Wendla fall in love (he hits her with sticks after she metions that she has never been hurt before), have Sex(he rapes her) and after Wendla gets pregnant and dies after an attempted abortion via poisonous plants her aunt have her, Melchior is only mildly devastated. He turns sad, and kinda crazy, after his best friend commits suicide. He has a rendez-vous with the ghost and death itself, he is happy again? I dunno, the whole book was all over the place.

Worse than the book was the discussions we had in class afterwards. One time we had to argue whether it was in-fact rape or if it was just sex. Second discussion we had was about Wendla being a masochist.

The worst thing about the whole topic was the stupid ass movie adaptation.

You think Percy Jackson has it bad? Oh boy. Ohhh boy. The movie plays in the 2000s, graffiti, cool skater boys, rapper-wannabes and early 2000s fashion included. The names stayed tho, cause why not name the male protagonist Melchior in 2001. There are scenes where teenagers, TEENAGERS, go to a brothel. Ah, I forgot.

They are 13-14, book and movie alike.

10/10 would NOT recommend.

Nr. 4 “Der Besuch der alten Dame-Friedrich Dürrenmatt”

(The visit)

(No, not the horror movie)

Oh my goodness, I loved this book.

Picture this. A small town in a German province far away from any major cities with a single trail connection between Hambourg and Zurich, aka the whole length of Germany, where virtually nothing happens. One day, a former resident, comes for a visit. But not just anyone, Claire frikking Zachanassian comes for a visit.

And for blood, because this sixty-something, badass multi-billionaire who got her fortune by marrying a bunch of men who died coincidentally one after the other proposes to the town an offer.

One billion for the head of the man, Alfred the third, who expelled her out of the town after getting her pregnant and lying about it in court after she sued him.

They sent her away in the train, called her a hoe and laughed about her. She lived in a brother for a little while, her son died, and a horny, rich man decided to marry her because why not.  

At first the towns people are disgusted by the offer, outraged by the immoral offer and they straight up deny it. “I’ll wait, Claire says”.

You see, the town is really, really poor. Not only because it is in a terrible location commercially wise, but also because Claire bought every factory in the town and brought them all to a stand still to slowly dry the city out. She planned this revenge.

And you see, the proposal of 500 million split between the inhabitants and 500 million for the industry of the city sounds great if you are on the brink of disaster and hunger and misery. But surely, with such an immoral offer, no one would want to commit a crime? Or would they.

Because, now that I look at it, Alfred really did something horrible… maybe, just maybe I can allow myself to stack up some dept.

And Alfred grew more and more paranoid. Begging Claire to stop this, apologizing on his knees, crying and sleeping with one open eye at all times.

We discussed in our class what we would do. We didn’t really came to a conclusion since we had nothing to compare, not one of us was ever asked to make such a decision. “It depends” was our final answer.

They do kill him in the end. It doesn’t end happy, Claire isn’t happy, but she does give the towns people their money. I really enjoyed reading this book. The female “antagonist” was refreshingly bad-ass and the moral despair was entertaining to read.

We learn that Claire is rich and powerful, but that she lost so much innocence, so much energy to enjoy her life in such young years that, as a reader, you cannot not sympathize with her.

Nr. 5 “Das Versprechen-Friedrich Dürrenmatt”

(The pledge)

Hands down the best book I’ve read in school.

This book is originally a critique by Dürrenmatt about the emerging detective novel genre where everything always works out.

The setting is in a Swiss town, 1950ish, and in the beginning the reader takes on the role of an author who meets a certain Dr. H who works for the police. They become friends and take a ride through the mountains. Upon taking a stop at a gas station, Dr. H introduces us to a seemingly old, smoking, alcohol-reeking man and a scruffy looking girl. The narrator is confused, asks who these people are, and back in the car, we learn that this is the former detective, no-one-escapes-me, super-brain Matthäi.

From that point on the narrator switches and we are now in a third person narrator perspective.

Matthäi is introduced again, this happening in the past, as a hard-working, clean, structured man who doesn’t smoke, drink or disobeys rules. No one really likes him in the office, but they value that he just so good at his job. But because he is so unapproachable, they want to sent him away to Jordan.

The week he was planning to travel there, a young girl is raped and then brutally murdered in a small town nearby. And because he is Mister Superbrain, he goes there to help investigate.

The other officers at the crime scene are (understandably) uncomfortable, they don’t want to talk to the family, or the people there in general. So Matthäi talks to everyone. He is a very calm, collected, cold man. So he meets with the family, tells them what happened to their daughter and is utterly, completely shocked when the mother just blankly stares in his face, and asks him to promise her to find the murderer of her daughter. He is shocked by the lack of emotion in this moment and sees himself in this cold visage of the mother. He promises her, just to get away from her as fast as possible, and drives back to be office.

I don’t want to spoil too much because this book is just so good, but oh my god

I’m in general a sucker for drastic changes in character or demeanor (hence why I liked The Visit so much as well) but his book takes everything to another level. They “plottwist” is so incredibly frustrating and nerve wraking to read, the perspective changes provide so much more depth.

And for the first time I finally read a really intricate, morally gray character.

Nr. 6 “Nathan der Weise-G. E. Lessing”

(Nathan the Wise)

This book was kinda eh. If I had so summarize it as fast as possible it would probably be “Religion and accidental incest”. It is about the three world religions and stereotypes between them, about genocide and also about stigmatization. It ends on a nice note, tho.

The only really remarkable passage of this book is the so-called “Ringparabel” in which Nathan answers to the question which religion is the real, big OG of them all. It is pretty nice and the symbolism is really fitting as well. The beginning of the book is incredibly boring but it does get better in the end. All in all not a total waste of time and money but nothing I would read again.

Nr. 7 “Die Leiden des jungen Werther- Goethe”

(The sorrows of young Werther)

Ah yes, no German class without Goethe. This book is written in a way that lets the reader really seep into Werthers emotion because it is written as a letter-novel. Werther is a young, nature-loving guy who (in the beginning of the book) is just really happy, go-lucky and over all nice. Then he meets Lotte, a young, pretty, smart and book-loving woman who is empathic to all those around her.  He falls in love with her, despite knowing that she is literally engaged and about to marry. She knows he loves her, her fiance know he loves her and literally everyone knows he loves her and they are ok with it? I dunno. Werther has a severe Seasonal-affective-Disorder. He kinda makes it through the first winter after meeting Lotte but never really recovers, even during summer. In the second winter, he can’t take it anymore and he commits suicide.

I liked the book (not only because I can identify with the SAD). In the end we learn that Lotte isn’t as good as we originally think she is; She is actually really possessive of Werther and although she wants him to be happy, she doesn’t think anyone is good enough for him and thus he should just stay close to her. She enjoys the attention given by her husband, who is actually really nice and whom she does love, and by Werther who is utterly and completely obsessed with her.

Opinions on this book split 50/50 with my friends. Some of them think like me and they see the heart break and the desire to move on but ultimately, the way attraction is so so strong. Some other friends, more specifically my Help-with-Maths-Go-to-Guy hated this book with a burning passion. I can see why. The imagery is sometimes a tad too far-fetched and the wording is, in true Goethe-Fashion really hard to read and the sentences are kinda messed up as well.

But in the end it is still the book which opened the way for Goethe to be one of the greatest writers in Europe and I can see why.

Oh wow. This concludes all the books I read thus far. There will be definitely more to come next year and maybe I’ll do another post like this once I read some more.

I hope you enjoyed to read my thoughts and maybe felt inspired to look into one of these as well!

See you soon!

[myheartbeatskids]

So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.

And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.

So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.

And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.

I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.

So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.

So then essentially i was kidnapped.

Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.

Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.

So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.

Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.

It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.

Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.

So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.

So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.

So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.

This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.

Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.

So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"

And Bria after me.

Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.

She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.

Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.

They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.

Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.

And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.

Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually

Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.

This is Declan.

He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"

Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!

"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"

Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...

Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.

So i didn't take it seriously enough.

But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.

So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.

The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....

Yet I still don't agree that it was.

However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.

And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.

So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....

But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.

As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!

Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.

I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.

So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.

So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.

So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.

So 360° K i own.

So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.

I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.

Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...

I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.

We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.

They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.

I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.

One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.

But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.

Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.

You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.

We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.

And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...

Cargo my bitches!

Jesse: No! I only ask!

Me: who do i have to convince?

Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?

Me: Ava who is your dad?

Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah

Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?

She nods all teary..

Jesse: well did i get loves?!

Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!

Jesse: well it got gas now!!!

Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.

Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.

Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.

Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!

Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.

Jesse: WHOA SHIT!

Me: Jeremiah you down?

Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?

Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!

Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go

Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me

Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.

Matt: IN!!

Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?

Pops: not if i don't have to

M3: you don't

Pops: shit! Oh yeah!

Chuck: what about Cookie!!

Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to

Chuckie: oh Cookies going!

Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.

Jesse: yes you did!

Me: no wonder it looked familiar.

[lilulo-12fanfiction]

Wonder of You

Chapter 4- Father Knows Best 

Here’s the next chapter! Let me know if you want in on the tag list!

Series Tag List:

@deans-baby-momma @fandom-princess-forevermore

Series Masterlist

“Glad you’re feeling back to yourself Bee.” Sam smiled at her as she packed up her bags. She had missed out on the last two cases. 

“Really glad I missed all the bugs.” She shuddered and gagged. 

“I have seen you covered in blood and hacking vamp heads off and you’re afraid of some bugs?”

“Says the man terrified of Flowers the Clown!” Blake threw a pillow at Sam.

“Okay fair enough.” He threw the pillow back. 

“Did he tell you where we’re going?” Dean walked in and handed you a coffee. By the questioning look you gave same he continued. “Kansas. Our old house. Apparently Sammy is having dreams of the people in our old house dying.”

“Wha- What?” She looked back and forth between the boys.

“He also saw Jess die before it happened.”

“DEAN!” Sam protested. He didn’t want her to know. He didn’t want her to blame him for not saving Jess.

“Sammy....why didn’t you tell me?” 

“Why won’t you tell me about the dream that you had while we were in Iowa? Some things are too horrifying to put into words. It means I knew it was going to happen and I did nothing.” Sam expected her her to slap him again as she crossed the room towards him, instead she had him in a bone crushing hug. 

“Sam...her death isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known. How could you have possibly known? You would have done anything to save her.” He rested his chin on top of her head and hugged her back. He felt bad for getting so defensive. 

“Okay...enough of the chick flick moment. Am I the only one concerned about the prophetic dreams?” Blake shrugged. 

“I’ve always had prophetic dreams, you never worried before.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“First of all yours always leave you with a feeling, not shot for shot events. And of course it’s always worried me.” The two locked eyes and didn’t look away until Sam cleared his throat. He was grabbing his and Blake’s things to bring out to the Impala. “We’ll continue this conversation in the car.” Blake grabbed his hand to stop him. “Not now sweetheart.” Blake wouldn’t budge, the grip on his hand tightened. Dean sighed and looked st her.

“Sit this one out Dee. You don’t have to do this. Sam and I can go. We can meet up after.”

“I’m not letting you go off on your own.”

“Dean- I wouldn’t be alone. Look you made me promise-“

“That we’d never go there. You’d never get curious and ask me to bring you to my family home.”

“I can keep that promise.”

“No...no. We all go. If this is connected to the thing that killed my mom and Jess. I have to go. But thank you for trying to protect me from it.”

“It’s what we do. We protect each other.”

“When this is done...you tell me about that dream?”

“Yeah...Dean. I’ll tell you about it.” Dean kept his hand in hers and led her out to the Impala.

                       ——————————————————————

Blake’s thoughts were reeling as they pulled into the gas station. The three of them were emotionally charged and she didn’t know what to say. She was pulled from her thoughts when Dean spoke again.

“We just gotta chill out, that's all. You know, if this was any other kind of job, what would we do?” Sam visibly sighed.

“We'd try to figure out what we were dealing with. We'd dig into the history of the house.”

“Exactly, except this time, we already know what happened.”

“Yeah, but how much do we know? I mean, how much do you actually remember?” Sam gave Dean questioning eyes. Blake didn’t want to interrupt their conversation so she kept quiet. She was incredibly interested in what Dean remembered. They never talked much about the night Mary Winchester does. She didn’t ever speak about how her parents died either other than when necessary. If she did, it was usually with John.

“About that night, you mean? Not much. I remember the fire…the heat. And then I carried you out the front door.” Sam looked over to Dean in shock. Blake zoned out the rest of their conversation. All she could see in her head was almost 5 year old Dean, scarred and running out of that house with baby Sam in his arm. Her head shot up when she heard Dean’s door closed. She got out and followed him without saying anything to Sam. She headed over to the bathrooms and stopped when she heard Dean’s voice. 

“Dad? I know I've left you messages before. I don't even know if you'll get ‘em. But I'm with Sam. And we're in Lawrence. And there's something in our old house. I don't know if it's the thing that killed Mom or not, but….” Blake shut her eyes when his voice broke. Dean was rarely emotional, especially with John. She knew he was trying to compose himself before he continued. [His voice breaks. “I don't know what to do. So, whatever you're doing, if you could get here. Please. I need your help, Dad.” Blake felt a tear slip from her eyes when she hear Dean start to cry. She never could deal with Dean crying. It destroyed her every time. She quickly slipped into the store to grab some food for them. She wanted to give Dean a moment. He didn’t like anyone seeing him upset, and him finding out she heard him would only make it worse. So she bought him copious amounts of junk food instead.                             

                          ——————————————————————

Missouri held both of Blake’s hands studying her face. They had an intense few days. Seeing Mary Winchester’s spirit had rattled her, she couldn’t imagine how Dean and Sam were feeling.

“There is something about you child. Something different. You have dreams too, like Sam. But they aren’t premonitions. Someone is trying to tell you something.”

“My mother. She’s in every single one of them. She keeps telling me to find my power. Telling me I have to take care of him. But she doesn’t say who he is. Or what this power is. I only dream of the dead. But...my last dream, John was in it.I know you said you don’t know where he is, but is he alive? Please tell me he’s alive.” Missouri put a hand on her face.

“Relax child. He’s alive. I do know that.” Blake nodded. 

“Those boys love you, but you know that already.” Blake looked over to Sam and Dean and smiled. “I do.”

                         ——————————————————————

Blake was back in the woods. She had run this path before. She felt the same fearful anticipation she always felt. She was expecting to come across her mother soon, what she wasn’t expecting was the Winchester Matriarch.

“We keep telling you to find it. But you don’t listen!” Her hair and eyes were wild with emotion. “You will be the only one that can save him. You HAVE to find it. You HAVE to protect him. We can’t. There is a reason your parents died. There was a reason John took you in. He had to so you could save him!” Blake inhaled deeply as her eyes flipped open and she shot forward in the back of the Impala.

“Bee- are you okay?!” Sam twisted to look at her. She felt the walls of the car closing in, her hands cold with sweat.

“Pull over.” She choked out.

“What?! We’re in the middle of nowhere.” Dean looked at her through the rear view mirror.

“PULL OVER!” She cried out. Dean didn’t argue. The car had barely stopped when she ripped the door open and jumped out. Sam and Dean followed. She was on the side of the road on her knees. Dean pushed Sam back gently with one arm as he approached her. He had seen her anxiety attacks before. She hadn’t had one this bad in a long time. Dean kneeled down next to her, pulling her hands down from her face.

“C’mon sweetheart, look at me.” Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was shaking her head, refusing to open her eyes. She wasn’t breathing. Dean yanked her into his arms. “You have to breath Blake. Match my breaths” He held her tightly as she tried to fight him off. “C’mon baby, stop fighting me. Let me help you.” It took a few moments before she finally stopped fighting him and he felt her start to breath. “It’s okay, I got you. I’ve always got you. It wasn’t real.”

“It is.” Her voice was raspy. Dean pulled back to study her face.

“It was just a dream Blake.” She shook her head.

“No, it’s not. They’re reaching out from beyond to lead me to something. I’m supposed to find something. If I don’t, someone is going to die. Dean, I think you or Sam are going to die and it’ll be my fault.” She was sobbing now.

“Hey, hey, hey- that’s not true. We’re not going anywhere okay? You’re stuck with us for the long haul. And if something happens...IF, it won’t ever be your fault. It couldn’t ever be your fault.” Dean knew by the look in her eyes she didn’t believe him. Sam was having visions of the future. From what Blake had just said she was getting messages from the dead in her dreams. He didn’t know how to deal with it. He needed his father.

                       ——————————————————————

“Sam please!” Blake was begging. “Don’t go off on your own. Stay with us. If John says it’s not safe then it isn’t safe.” She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She was so sick of crying. It seemed like that was all she did lately. 

“Blake!” Dean demanded from the front seat of the Impala. She held up one finger signaling him to hold on.

“You too? After everything you’re still following his orders?” Blake flinched at the fury in Sam’s eyes.

“Sammy, it’s not about following orders okay? It’s about you living through this. I know John. I know when he’s blowing smoke up my ass to get me to fall in line and when he believes what he’s saying. It’s not safe for you to go. Please. I can’t lose you. Please get back in the car. I’m begging you.” 

“Goodbye Blake” Sam turned and walked in the other direction. “SAM!” She cried out, but he ignored her and kept walking. She stood there taking a few steps to go after him and then back to Dean. Back and forth. She was supposed to keep them safe, that much she was sure of. She didn’t know who was in danger, she never got enough of the information. How was she going to keep them both safe if they separated? She felt Dean’s hands on her shoulders.

“C’mon Sweetheart. Get in the car. I know you don’t want to leave him on his own and you don’t want to leave me on my own either. I’m making the decision for you. I can’t let you go with him. If it isn’t safe I can’t have you sacrificing yourself.” She didn’t move until she felt Dean slide his hand down to the small of her back and lead her to the passenger door. When he opened the door, she looked up and studied his face for a moment and then got into the car. She didn’t say a word to him when he got back in the driver’s seat. Once they were moving again, she felt Dean’s hand next to hers on the seat. He linked his pinky with Blake’s and they rode in silence the rest of the way to Indiana.

                        ——————————————————————

Dean was driving the same route the missing couples had gone when they heard the beeping coming from the back seat. “What the hell is that?” Dean questioned and pulled over in front of an Orchard. Dean pulled the EMF meter out of his bag. Blake looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Want to go apple picking?” He smirked at her and got out of the car. 

They came upon a scarecrow and Blake shuddered. It made her skin crawl. She wrapped her arms around herself and watched as Dean grabbed a ladder and climbed up to study the scarecrow. She watched him study the arm of the scarecrow and then pull the missing persons flyer out of his pocket to compare Blake looked at Dean with wide eyes.

 "Jesus. It's the same Damn tattoo..."

Later that night, you and Dean were lurking near the Orchard waiting to catch whatever was killing these people in the act. "I just don't get it." Dean was filled with irritation. "If Sammy had talked to them, they would have been in hook, line and sinker. Wait, why didn't you talk to them?" Blake shrugged.

"Because, they're a couple. Women usually find other approaching women threatening. They wouldn't have listened to me either." Dean eyed her and gave his famous smirk.

"Yeah I'd be jealous of you too if I were here."  You rolled your eyes and shoved him playfully, not having a chance to respond. Blake and Dean ran towards the couple hoping to save them from whatever was after them. Blake stopped in your tracks when she saw the Scare Crow chasing the couple. "Get back to the car!" Dean shoved her to run the other way as he shot at the Scare Crow trying to protect the couple. Not much shocked Blake, but that Scare Crow threw her for a loop.

While Dean was getting the couple settled and on their way, Blake stood with her arms crossed in front of her looking out at the Orchard. 

"What are we staring at?" Dean startled you out of your thoughts.

"The people in town...they know what is happening. They have to. This happens EVERY year around the same time of year? And all of the sudden that couple had car trouble that should take an hour, two at max to fix only for it to break down again...ironically right near this orchard? They are setting these people up to be sacrificed. And for what? Good crops? Jesus humans are disgusting." Dean studied Blake's angry face. He hummed in response.

"Pagan God. They're sacrificing innocent people to a Pagan God." Blake nodded. 

"Dee, I'm sorry for being so useless back that. And such a fucking basket case since we started the hunt for your father. I'm surprised you haven't left me somewhere." He watched her look down in shame, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Hey- look at me." He was standing in front of her now, he hooked his finger under her chin to tilt her face so he could look her in they eye. "You are NOT useless. That thing was terrifying back there. I only reacted first because I saw it further back than you did. And you're not a basket case. Things have been tense. I need you with me. You hear me? YOU keep ME grounded and on task." She studied his green eyes, not wanting to look away. They stood there, for a moment and then Dean cleared is throat and awkwardly moved away from her. "C'mon...let's get out of here. We need to figure out what kind of Pagan God this is so we can kill it."  Blake nodded and climbed into the car without a word. 

Once they were back at the motel, Blake had gone into the bathroom to take a hot shower and try to clear her head. Dean Winchester still made it impossible for her to think clearly. Everything with him was fuzzy. She slipped on a pair of leggings and one of Sam's T-shirts that he accidentally left behind that got packed in her bag. She stopped in the doorway when she hear Dean talking.  

"Sam. You were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life...You've always known what you want. And you go after it. You stand up to Dad. And you always have. Hell, I wish I—anyway….I admire that about you. I'm proud of you, Sammy...Say you'll take care of yourself...Call me when you find Dad." Dean about jumped out of his skin when he turned and saw her standing there. "Jesus...you scared me." He held his hand to his chest. "Sammy says he loves you. Why are you looking at me like that?"

  "I'm just really proud of you. I know telling people what you really feel isn't easy for you. I'm glad the two of you are getting close." Dean returned Blake's smile, for once, accepting the praise that she gave him.

"Come eat. Then we're going to sleep. I'm beat." Blake nodded and sat down at the table to eat. There was a weird air between the two of them. She just wished she knew exactly what he was thinking.

Around 2AM Blake found herself sitting in the arm chair of the room, she had turned it to face the window and was looking out at the moon and the stars, her knees pulled to her chest. While she was happy that Dean and Sam had spoken, she couldn't quell her fear that something was going to happen to him. Between that and her nightly hauntings, her subconscious had officially gone on strike and refused to allow any more sleep. Her biggest concern was not being sharp enough to help Dean kill this thing. She put her face in her hands as a few tears slipped out. Which Winchester would she fail and cost them their life?

"What's the matter sweetheart?" She heard Dean's groggy voice from across the room. She quickly wiped her face before he could see her tears.

"Nothing Dee. Just can't sleep." he hummed a response. She heard him climb out of the bed. "Dean, go back to sleep. You barely sleep as it is." He stumbled over and put his hand out for her to take. She gave him an exasperated look but eventually gave in and placed her hand in his and stood up. He walked past her bed and led her over to his. "Dean..."

"Shhh...get in the damn bed Blake." She swallowed her exasperation for the second time and climbed in. Dean crossed to his side of the bed and got under the covers. He scooted close to her and pulled her into his chest. "Go to sleep. You look exhausted. I've got you. You even twitch from a nightmare and I'll pull you out." She buried her face in the crook of his neck, afraid to respond. The scent of leather, sandalwood and motor oil flooded her nose. She felt him run his hand up and down her back like he did when they were kids and soon felt herself relax into a peaceful sleep without nightmares for the first time in weeks.

                       ——————————————————————

Blake tried to open her eyes. Where was she? One second she was waiting for Dean to get back after his meeting with the professor and now she was on the cold floor. Someone hit her in the back of the head. The voice of another girl causes her to snap her eyes open.

"Aunt Stacy. Uncle Harley, please" Blake heard her begging and then the door closed and it was dark again. "Dean..." Blake whispered, her eyes adjusting to the dark. She felt Dean squeeze her hand and then get up and try to get them out of the god forsaken cellar they were in. Blake listened as Dean tried to explain to Emily what was happening. 

"I don't understand. They're gonna kill us?" Emily cried. 

"Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier, I guess?" Blake rolled her eyes at him and looked over at Emily.

"You really didn't have any idea about this? No clue about what was happening?" Blake believed her when she said no, the look of pure betrayal in her eyes. Blake listened as Dean told Emily about the tree they needed to find and destroy. Apparently it was in the actual orchard but Emily didn't know where. How the hell would they be able to tell which one was the right one? Their conversation was halted when the cellar door opened and they were being dragged out to the orchard.

"Wait..wait, Sheriff?! Doesn't the sacrifice only need two people. One man, one woman. Let Emily go! She doesn't deserve this." Dean looked at Blake wide eyed. The Sheriff gave Blake an admiring look.

"Brave girl. Offering herself up for a stranger. But unfortunately we've upset them. So we're offering an extra sacrifice for restitution."

"How many people have you killed, Sheriff? How much blood is on your hands?" Blake heard the disgust in Dean's voice as he addressed the sherriff. Blake turned to Emily to try and console her. Emily was begging her Uncle to save her.

"I am so sorry, Em. I wish it wasn't you." Blake could see the real regret in his eyes. Her Aunt, on the other hand was just as disgusting as the Sheriff. 

"Try to understand. It's our responsibility. And there's just no other choice. There's nobody else but you. Sweetheart, that's what sacrifice means. Giving up something you love for the greater good. The town needs to be safe. The good of the many outweighs the good of the one." Blake didn't have words for the four as they walked away.

"I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!" Dean yelled to them. For the first time in a really long time, Blake felt completely hopeless.

                       ——————————————————————   

"I don't know what's worse...Monsters or Humans." Blake leaned into Sam as he hugged her. They had just put Emily on a bus to Boston. After the Scarecrow had murdered two of the town elders, they had gone back this morning and burned down the ancient tree. "Humans...you expect this from Monsters." Blake answered her own question. 

"That's very wise." Dean piped in. He looked over at Sam. "So can I drop you off some where?" Blake felt the panic rise in her chest.

"No, I think you're stuck with me." Blake looked up at Sam with surprise at the same time Dean did.

"What changed your mind?" Dean cocked his head to the side. 

"I didn't. I still wanna find Dad. And you're still a pain in the ass." Blake snickered and Dean flipped her off. Sam continued "But, Jess and Mom—they're both gone. Dad is God knows where. You, me and Blake. We're all that's left. So, if we're gonna see this through, we're gonna do it together." Blake let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. Dean studied Sam for a moment.

  "Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful." All three of them laughed. 

"You should be kissing my ass, you were dead meat, dude."

"Okay hero, you get to ride in the front seat. My leg still hurts from falling yesterday and I want to stretch it out." Sam gave her a squeeze before she let go and circled around to sit behind Dean.  

Dean gave Sam a disapproving look. "Yeah, right. I had a plan, I'd have gotten out."

"Sure Dean." Sam laughed and climbed into the car. Blake didn't know where John was. She didn't know who was in danger or how she could help, but for the moment, she was going to enjoy the overwhelming feeling of peace that had fallen over her the moment Sam buckled his seat belt.

[thyroiddiseasediaries]

What is a pleasant childhood memory you have? Do you believe "everything happens for a reason"? What are three things you are grateful for?

Hmm...

My childhood was kinda hard sometimes. I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 7, It hard to remember good things. But, let's see.

My dad use to golf ALL THE TIME and of course being a child, I didn't get the appeal. Until one day he suggested that he'd let me drive the cart... IT WAS AMAZING. It was definitely probably not legal... and he'd drive until we were out of site from the building. It was so much fun. My dad got to spend time with me, and still drink beer and play golf. He's an evil genius.

One year my mom threw me a surprise birthday party. It was at a pool! All my friends were there, and my mom bought mine a beautiful swimsuit. My dad brought a pinata, with nothing to hit it with or tie it to. So he just held it awkwardly, while 8 year olds swung at him with a steel pipe we found. 😂

My mom took me to TWO Backstreet Boys concerts. The Millennium Tour, and The Black & Blue Tour. 💙

My neighbors had the most beautiful tropical birds that hung out on his back porch, and he'd let me hold them and talk to them and pet them. One was big and rainbow colored, one was big and white!

When it snowed, everyone on my street and in my neighborhood went to the big hill on my street. It was so much fun. Getting up there was kinda hard though... But it was worth it.

Do I believe everything happens for a reason? No. I believe sometimes they do, but not all the time. Because sometimes bad things just happen, if someone uses that pain and channels it into something good. That's amazing. But that doesn't mean it happened for a reason. If someone has something bad happen to them or someone they love, and they don't turn it into something good. Does that mean it didn't happen for a reason? Or does it just mean that people grieve in different ways?

A lot of parents of missing and murdered children go on to create amazing; charities, foundations, businesses, and even life changing government bills in the name of their children. That's amazing. But it's really messed up to ever suggest, "it happened for a reason". I think something bad happened, they suffered a loss that left a hole that will never be filled. So they use their grief to try to help other kids. But, their loss is no more senseless than parents who don't do those things and remember and celebrate their child in their own way. (That is just the first topic that came to mind)

I think sometimes things happen for a reason. But, most of the time I just think we get lucky or realize in hindsight that what seemed bad at first? Was a good thing in the end. Like breakups, jobs, friendship, and life stuff in general. Shit just happens, it's life. If you can make something beautiful out of it, it'd find the silver lining? That's incredible. But that doesn't mean your circumstance is any different from the person who doesn't or can't. Does that make any sense?

Three things I'm grateful for?

- My mom. She's also my caretaker. A women who's life could be made into a lifetime movie. Losing her mom as a teenager, and being held up at gun point more times than she can remember. Once when she was a teenager by two people who had actually murdered the other gas station employee they hit during a string of robberies. But thank God, didn't hurt her. She lost her sister before I was born to the same disease that took her mother. She never wanted kids, took steps to make sure she didn't have kids. Then at 33 surprise. It me. She's been a single mother since 1997, and in 2003 lost her house, that was like 5 years from being totally paid off because my dad just stopped helping. She's had to file bankruptcy and lost her job twice during the recession. The first time losing the 401K she spent almost 20 years on. We've been completely car-less on a few occasions. Now in the years she should be gearing up for retirement, and instead she's having to take care of her disabled adult child. While dealing with health, and mental health problems of her own. Going to work in flip flops, and no jacket even in the winter because she's working this hard just barely make ends meet and couldn't afford to buy comfortable winter shoes or a jacket. She's never complains, she never names me feel like a burden and she's always trying to make my life a little better, and a little easier. She's a warrior queen who deserves so much more than what she's given. I hope one day to win the lottery or something so I can buy her a house with a pool and a massive backyard for all the dogs and cats she wants. 💜

2) I'm thankful for all you beautiful internet souls who listen to my bullshit and whining and never make me feel bad. For the ones who try to help. I'm thankful for all your golden hearts and wish that I could make a wish and good all have everything you need, want and deserve. Thank you to all of you. Your support means the entire world to me. 💜

3) I'm thankful for movies, TV, documentaries, YouTube, music, books, ASMR, arts and crafts. Everything that helps distract me when ie need a break from my own brain. The much needed escape. Also for winter, because heat intolerance is the devil. 💜

[wheezyeds]

Burn it to the Ground

Finally! Here is my gift for @hanscom as part of the fic exchange! Thank you for being a sweetheart and giving me some more time to work on this. I hope it was worth the wait. Also, thank you to @jannuaryembers for being a fantastic beta and working on this with me!

Warning for moderate violence, closeted sexuality, acts of arson and a controlling relationship. No gore, but a permanent injury resulting in disability in the end.

(Prompt #1 - an AU based off of your favourite movie. My favourite movie is IT so it wouldn’t exactly work, but another film that I like definitely would so here we go)

Eddie couldn’t take it anymore. He had been living a lie for so long that even he himself was beginning to forget who he really was. See, Eddie Kaspbrak was married to a woman, Myra, who was exactly like his mother in personality and in size. Myra Kaspbrak was huge, though she’d only been big when Eddie had married her. He always figured she would achieve hugeness eventually. She worried about him, took care of him and made sure that the medicine cabinet was always stocked with everything that he needed; Anacin, Excedrin, Excedrin PM, Contac, Gelusil, Tylenol, a large jar of Vicks. Vivarian, Serutan, Milk of Magnesia - the chalk flavoured one - Rolaids, Tums, Di-Gel, all of the vitamins a person could think of and then some more, calcium, cod liver oil, One-A-Day multivitamins too. She even makes sure to keep a bottle of Geritol on the top of the cabinet itself just for good measure.

Eddie was tired of it all - the sterile smell that made his own home smell like a hospital despite looking as though an eighty-something couple lived there. He was tired of the old Barry Manilow records that seemed to be the only thing they listened to, and the old TV set that Myra refused to let him upgrade. Actually, he wasn’t tired. He was exhausted, and he needed to get out. Thankfully, during the night Myra slept like the dead and snored loud enough to wake them, too. Eddie managed to slip out of their shared bed silently without being noticed, and he packed his black leather bag that he usually saved for business trips. He filled it with socks, boxers, pants, shirts, belts and shoes. Next was his toiletries, and as he began packing what he might need from the medicine cabinet he decided that he didn’t need any of that stuff, and tossed every little pill into the water in the toilet where they floated like little bodies. The old Eddie Kaspbrak needed mounds of pills to keep him healthy, but the new Eddie certainly did not.

When he was finished, Eddie crept downstairs, avoiding every creaky floorboard to make sure he didn’t wake his wife when he was so close to being free. He used to do the same thing when he snuck downstairs as a child to have a tasty snack so that his mother wouldn’t notice. He used the phone to call his own company, hiring one of his drivers to take him down to the bus station. He couldn’t just take one of his cars anywhere, they all had trackers and Myra would absolutely use that to find him. He needed an easy, clean escape and a bus ticket would give him that.

While he waited, Eddie used the notepad that they kept by the phone to write a message to his wife. He couldn’t find the words for what he was doing, he couldn’t explain to her on paper that he was running from her to live the life he really wanted. So, he settled on ‘sorry… x’, and just as he set down his pen, he heard the car pull up outside and he grabbed his bag, practically hurrying out of the house before he could stop himself and go back to the comforting routine of the past six years. He jumped into the back of the car and as they pulled away, he looked up at the house just as the bedroom light flickered on. He was out, he was free, but only just by the skin of his teeth.

****

At the bus station, Eddie didn’t use any of his credit cards, he used cash that he’d taken from his personal account a few weeks ago when he came up with his plan to leave. He bought a one way ticket on the first greyhound out of town, with no destination in his mind. He planned to jump off at the first place he liked that was far enough away nobody would find him.

He stayed awake for the first three hours of the ride, head resting in his hand as he watched the world to whizzing by in a beautiful blur as the sun began to rise. By dawn, he was too tired to stay awake any longer, his eyes grew heavy and he drifted into a dreamless sleep, for which he was thankful. That afternoon, the bus was making a stop to refuel and all of the passengers had an opportunity to stretch their legs and pick up some supplies. Eddie needed to use the restroom, and he could use a sandwich if he was being honest, so he grabbed his bag and walked off of the coach.

He didn’t know where he was, but it was beautiful. They were in a small town somewhere by the water, it was peaceful and beautiful. Eddie wasn’t sure he’d ever been drawn to something so quickly, and in his gut he knew that he needed to stay. This was his new home.

****

The Denbrough brothers, Bill and Georgie, own the general store in town by the waterfront. During the summer months, they make enough money to keep them going through the rest of the year. Every day, coach loads of tourists pass through and buy some novelty garbage that they sell as well as food and supplies for the rest of their journey. Nobody ever stays in town for more than a few hours unless they have someone worth staying for, but today was different for everyone.

Three coaches had all arrived within a few minutes of each other, and Bill spent the better part of the next hour serving customers until the place was practically empty again. There were still a few locals picking up some groceries and his friend, Stan through the back working on their books. Bill stayed standing behind the counter, adjusting the gum by the register when something outside caught his eye. A short man, standing by the coach stop with a bag slung over his shoulder. He looked lost, and Bill stepped outside to help him.

“Excuse me?” Bill spoke up as he walked through the door. “Did you miss your ride?”

The other man turned around when he heard Bill’s voice, looking startled for a second before he relaxed a little and held his bag a little higher on his shoulder.

“No, actually, I, uh, decided this was my stop.” The other man answered with a nervous laugh bubbling up in his throat.

Bill was honestly surprised. By the sounds of things, this guy hadn’t expected to stay here anymore than Bill ever expected a tourist to hang around.

“You’ve got somewhere to stay?” Bill asked, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand.

“No, I hadn’t actually thought that far ahead.”

The look on the poor guys face made Bill feel kind of sorry for him. Surely someone must be in a tough spot if they’ve made a last minute decision like this - showing up in the middle of nowhere with no place to stay and no friends.

“Why don’t you come inside? I can give you an address, somewhere to get your head down for a few hours, at least.”

“You… really? You’d do something like that for someone you don’t even know?”

“Well, you don’t know me either and you’re considering taking me up on my offer.”

The other man stuck out his hand to Bill, which he took and the two of them gave each other a friendly shake.

“I’m Eddie.” The newcomer introduced himself.

“Bill.”

“I’m Georgie!”

Bill whirled around to look at his brother, a playful glare across his face as he watched his brother attend to the gas pumps for a second.

“Get your ass back to work before I kick it, kid!” Bill threatened, despite Georgie and Eddie waving politely to one another before the young kid rushed off back to work.

“So, this address?”

Bill helped Eddie back into the store with his bag and used the landline phone to call his friend, Ben, about the cabin he owned and occasionally rented out to anyone who needed it.

Eddie walked around the store, making sure he hadn’t forgotten to get anything, he could hear Bill on the phone across the room.

“Ben, hey buddy. Yeah, yeah.. everything is great over here, but I’ve got someone- yes..”

Eddie couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but he assumed this Ben was nice enough from the exasperated smile on Bill’s face.

“Last minute decision, by the sounds of it. He’s sticking around for a while.. how much? Really? Alright, you’re the best. Give Bev a kiss for me, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. Bye.”

Eddie was pretending not to have eavesdropped as he checked out the display of reading glasses when Bill approached him with the address written down on a folded up piece of paper.

“It’s about a ten minute walk from here, pretty easy to get there. Ben, my friend, he thinks it’s best if you take the weekend to make sure you like the place enough to stay before you put down any payment.”

Eddie was surprised by that. Surely nobody was actually that nice, but apparently Bill was being serious.

“This is perfect, Bill. Thank you.” Eddie said sincerely, a thankful smile on his face that lit up his eyes. Bill figured this guy was pretty cute, but there was something going on with him.

Bill hoped Eddie would stay around long enough that they could get to know each other.

****

*one month later*

Eddie worked his way among the tables, the breeze across the water whipped through his hair. He carried five plates in total, three on one arm and two on the other. His old button-up shirts had been replaced with a thin, cotton T-shirt that read Ivan’s: Try the Fish Just for the Halibut. He served the food to a group of women all dressed in tennis gear; the one closest to the window caught his eye and smiled. She seemed to be trying too hard to just be friendly, he knew that she watched him as he walked away. Richie, Eddie’s coworker had mentioned the women that come in from out of town before, how they tipped bigger when they were made to feel extra special.

Eddie fetched a pitcher of iced tea, refilled their glasses and returned to the waitress station. He took a moment to glance at the view, it was late April and the temperature was so close to perfect he could almost taste it.

“Eddie - can you take another table?”

Eddie was stirring up some sweet tea when Richie spoke him. Eddie looked out across the diner, counting how many of his tables were already filled.

“Sure.” He nodded.

Bill had told Eddie about this job opening. Much sooner than he expected, Eddie had been running out of money. One Tuesday, he and Bill were having some lunch together in the sun, Bill pointed out the ‘Now Hiring’ sign on the window and admitted to being good friends with the owners, assuring Eddie that he could put in a good word. Eddie hadn’t wanted to cry in front of him, so he managed to wait until he was home before breaking down. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but by that point he was already broke and hadn’t eaten anything for two days.

After finishing with the tea, Eddie headed to the kitchen where Patty, one of the cooks winked at him as she always did.

“Doesn’t look like it’s going to slow down today,” Patty commented. She was beautiful, a head of dark curls and only a year or two older than Eddie himself. She lived with Stan, Bill’s friend. “Every time we start catching up, we’re slammed with more customers.”

“It’s beautiful out.”

“Exactly, so why are they here? On a day like this, I’d have thought they’d be at the beach or fishing. That’s exactly what I’m doing when I finish up here later.”

“That sounds like a nice idea.”

“You need a ride home later?”

Patty always offered to drive him, at least two days a week. “No, thank you. You know I don’t live that far.”

“No problem,” she persisted. “I’d be more than happy to do it.”

“Walking keeps me fit.”

He handed her his stack of tickets and Patty pinned them on the wheel and located another order, taking it to her section and dropping it off at the right table.

On his way home that evening, Eddie stopped in at the store for some fresh milk just in time before Bill closed up for the night.

“Is that everything?” Bill asked politely as he rung Eddie up, putting the chilled carton in a brown paper bag.

“I just need one more thing,” Eddie admitted, glancing down nervously. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“I’m off Saturday. Why?”

“I was wondering if, maybe, you’d want to come and have some dinner with me. Just the two of us, no kid brother.”

To Eddie, this point of their friendship felt like one of those defining moments. The two of them had been tip-toeing around their situation for a while, neither realising that they both had more than friendly feelings for one another. They’d spent a few nights having dinner together, but they always ate with Georgie, too.

“Yes,” Bill answered, holding Eddie’s gaze. “I’d love dinner.”

“Great!” Eddie beamed. “Saturday, my place, six?”

“That sounds perfect.”

When Saturday night rolled around, Eddie took a second shower that day, he moisturized with his favourite lotion and put on one of his new outfits, including new shoes. He blow dried his hair and combed it into place, happy that he looked good enough for tonight. As he turned one way and the other in front of the mirror one last time, he heard an engine approach outside. Eddie took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Then, after walking across the room and opening the door, he stepped outside onto the porch.

Getting out of his truck, there was Bill, dressed in jeans, a blue shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows. He was standing against the driver’s side door, leaning inside of the car seemingly reaching for something.

Bill brought out a bottle of wine and turned. Seeing Eddie, Bill almost froze, his expression one of surprise. Eddie was standing in the last rays of the setting sun, perfectly radiant and for a moment all Bill could do was stare.

“You made it,” He said.

The sound of Eddie’s voice was enough to break the spell he had on Bill, but he continued to stare. He knew that he should say something witty, something to charm Eddie and break the tension the way someone like Richie would but Bill couldn’t think anything other than ‘I’m in serious trouble.’

They spent the next couple of hours eating and having a few glasses of wine. With his filter a little looser than normal, Bill finally had the confidence to ask the question that had weighed on his mind since he first met Eddie.

“What happened?” He asked bluntly, confusing Eddie.

“What are you talking about?”

“You were married. What happened?”

“Who told you that?” Eddie asked defensively.

“Nobody had to tell me anything, but you have a tan line on your ring finger where I’m assuming a wedding ring used to be.”

Eddie set down his wine glass and looked at his hands as they trembled, noticing that he did indeed have a little line of pale skin wrapped around his finger.

“Technically… I’m still married.” He admitted.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t pry. You don’t have to tell me anything.” Bill apologised but Eddie shook his head.

“No, I want to tell you. I want to tell you all of it.”

That was how Bill ended up staying at the cabin with Eddie until after midnight. Eddie cried, but he told Bill everything starting from his mother right up to the night he left Myra and ran from his sham marriage.

“You did the right thing by leaving.” Bill assured him.

“She’s looking for me, though.”

“How do you know?”

“My business partners emailed me. Apparently she’s been botheriering as many people at my company as she can, trying to get any information they might have.”

“So, she’s actually a psychopath?”

“No..” Eddie sighed sadly, pinching the pride of his nose. “She, well, she just doesn’t understand. I didn’t tell her that I wanted a divorce, I didn’t tell her that I wanted to leave and I definitely didn’t tell her that I’m gay. As far as she’s aware, her husband just up and left in the middle of the night for no reason.”

Bill took Eddie’s hand in his, stroking his thumb across the bumps of Eddie’s knuckles.

“But you have a reason, a legitimate one and you don’t have to explain anything to her if you don’t want to.”

Eddie felt himself well up with emotions that he’d been swallowing for so long. Nobody had ever told him that he didn’t have to do something before, and it felt so good.

“Thank you, Bill. I-“ his eyes raised to look at Bill’s face, but he choked when he realised how close they were, and how amazingly blue Bill’s eyes are.

“Can I… can I kiss you?”

Eddie nodded so fast he almost gave himself whiplash, but the touch of Bill’s large hand cupping his jaw was enough to calm him down and flip his stomach all at the same time. Before either of them could think too much of it, their lips met in a tender, delicate kiss that said everything they couldn’t put into words.

****

Exactly one week after their date, Eddie was still floating. It had been a busy week and tonight would be the first chance to spend some real time together again, and Eddie was secretly hoping for more than just a kiss.

Eddie was unloading some laundry from the washing machine into the dryer when there was a knock at the door. Strange, because Bill wasn’t due to arrive for another hour yet.

Leaving the laundry, Eddie walked through the cabin and answered the front door. The polite, expectant smile dropping from his face when he saw the woman standing on the other side of the door casting a large, dooming shadow over the threshold.

“Myra, what.. what are you doing here?” He asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

“I’m here to take you home, Eddie-Bear. You ran away, you didn’t tell me where you were going and you forgot all of your pills, baby.”

Eddie started to argue but she pushed him out of the way as she stepped inside, the old floorboards creaking under her obscene weight.

“Now, Eddie. We don’t have time for your apologies, you can explain everything on the bus ride home. We have to get going, or we’ll miss the departure time.”

Eddie watched in shock for a few minutes as Myra found the bedroom and began to pack Eddie’s belongings back up into his bag.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Myra. I’m sorry.”

She ignored him, not even acknowledging that he’d said anything. She only continued to pack, humming a song Eddie had heard a thousand times under her breath.

“Myra. I’m staying here.” Again he was ignored. “I want a divorce.”

When Mrs. Kaspbrak turned around to look at her husband, the waterworks were turned on and fat tears rolled down her fat, flushed cheeks.

“Eddieeeeee!” She sobbed. “Don’t be like this! Come home, so that we can fix everything!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I have to do this to you, but I don’t have another choice. I don’t love you, Myra. I never have. You deserve better.”

“But I want you, Eddie-Bear. Come home.”

Eddie shook his head and walked to his wife, standing only an inch taller than her. He kissed her forehead and wiped her tears.

“Listen to me, okay?” He pleaded, holding her hands in his. “I’m gay, Myra. I’m sexually attracted to men, not women. Not you.”

****

Bill arrived at Eddie’s with a picnic basket, planning to take Eddie out into the woodland surrounding the cabin for a late night bite to eat before back inside for desert. However, he wasn’t expecting a woman to put a spanner in the works when he arrived and found Eddie helplessly trying to console a crying woman. His wife, Bill assumed.

Eddie looked at Bill with apologetic eyes and a pleading look, Bill just nodded. Whatever Eddie needed, he would do.

“You have to understand, dear.” Eddie spoke so softly and calmly to a woman he didn’t love, reaching for Bill’s hand. “This man, Bill, is my boyfriend. I’m planning to move in with him soon. Do you understand me?”

Myra looked between the two of them, seeing that they were both handsome men and there was a clear chemistry between them. They both seemed somewhat uncomfortable, but she assumed that was just because she was there.

“Okay,” She croaked, voice hoarse from all of her crying. “I understand.” She stood, clutching her purse to her chest. “I’ll have my lawyer contact you when I decide what I want to keep.”

Myra left and Eddie let go of a huge sigh of relief, slumping into Bill.

“Thank you.” He whispered, wrapping around the other man. “For going along with that, I mean.”

“No problem,” Bill assured him, kissing the top of his head. “You’re a saint, being married to that woman.”

Eddie laughed and immediately the tension was broken, the air between them returning to normal.

****

Eddie didn’t think that anything else would come from Myra. He expected a few phone calls maybe, and the divorce papers when she made it home but what he didn’t realise, was that she didn’t go home.

Myra stayed in town, hidden for the next two days. She watched Eddie make his trips to the store and to work, then back home again. He kept a new routine in his new life and she was happy to find vitamin bottles, empty, in the trash. At least he was keeping himself healthy while he was without her.

Tonight, the whole town was having a firework display to celebrate the beginning of summer. Myra would take her chance then, ruining Bill Denbrough’s life so that he had nothing to offer Eddie.

As the boats made their way out onto the water, loaded with fireworks for the display, Myra took her chance and snuck into the empty store with gas canisters full of petroleum. As she walked up and down the aisles, she poured the liquid all over, covering everything she could reach. Back at the door, she stepped outside and lit a match, tossing it into the building which was immediately consumed in flames.

Eddie was sat on the pier, waiting for Bill and Georgie - Bill was grabbing beers from the cooler out back, and Georgie was getting a blanket for the three of them from his apartment above the store.

The fire started, and the whole world stopped. Eddie’s blood ran cold and he got to his feet, watching for a moment that felt like a lifetime as Bill’s livelihood began burning to the ground.

“HELP!”

Eddie looked up when he heard the scream, and he saw Georgie on the tiny balcony up on the second floor.

“GEORGIE!” Bill screamed, running to the entrance, but he couldn’t get inside.

Everyone was rushing to help with hoses and buckets of water but it wasn’t enough. The flames were too strong and taking over too fast, they had to get Georgie down. Eddie went to fetch a ladder from a nearby garden, but he was grabbed from behind and thrown to the ground. When he looked up, he saw Myra.

“Eddie-Bear. I told you to come home with me.” Her tone was so calm that it was terrifying. The woman had lost her mind.

“No! Why are you doing this?! You’re going to kill him!”

“Nobody will want you, baby. Bill won’t want you, knowing that he lost everything because of you.”

Eddie tried to fight Myra off, but she was too big and she had her sausage fingers wrapped tightly around his throat. Just as the edge of his vision began to blur, Myra fell off of the top of Eddie. She’d been hit in the head, by Stan who stood wielding a broken pipe.

“Crazy bitch.” He panted, helping Eddie up off of the ground.

“We have to help Bill and Georgie.”

The two men ran back to the store to help, Bill was desperately trying to get in while a few neighbours and Richie tried to convince Georgie to jump and that they would catch him, but he was too scared.

“I can get in.” Eddie spoke up. There was a small gap that the others were much too big for. “I’ll go up, push him out and you catch him.”

Before Bill could stop him, Eddie was off. He climbed up the gap in the edge of the building, through a window and then he was up on the balcony with Georgie.

“Eddie?! What the hell are you doing up here?!” Georgie cried, his words followed by a fit of coughing. He’d already inhaled so much smoke.

“I’m getting you down, okay? Just look at me. Look into my eyes.” Eddie stayed as calm as he could manage, holding the kid by the shoulders, forcing him to keep stilL and look at him. “Count with me, so you can calm down and breathe, okay?”

Georgie nodded and Eddie began to count. He got to four, and pushed him from the balcony.

****

Eddie couldn’t remember what happened after that. It was all heat and smoke and pain, but he was coming around. The constant beeping from a heart monitor was irritating him, and his arm itched like crazy.

“Eddie?” Asked a familiar voice. “Are you awake?”

“Hm?” He grunted in response, trying to will his heavy eyes open.

“Come on, tough guy. Let me see those pretty eyes.”

Eddie blinked a few times until he could see, and as his vision cleared, he saw Bill sitting by his side.

“Bill? What are you doing here?”

“Like I was going to leave you after you were blown up.” Bill scoffed. “Just… don’t panic, okay?” He pleaded, nodding down to Eddie’s arm.

Eddie looked down, and let out a cry of shock when he realised that his left arm was missing.

It wasn’t the end of the world, after all a missing limb was bearable if it meant living his new life as his true self with his wonderful boyfriend and his new family.