#and if i had my own switch i would have gotten that one but alas

[mrcrowblargs]

The final battle... to confront the Netherbrain. Even though I had gotten more used to switching up the party during Act 3, I wanted to have my favourites along, though I ended up choosing Lae'zel over Karlach because one Lae'zel quest thing remained.

So it was Aldiirn, Astarion, Gale, and Lae'zel, all in for a big headache. End spoilers below!

big brain! big scary brain! Throwing the Netherstones was scream inducing. They gave a variety of options for each throw but it was always my weak stats grouped together lmao. Aldiirn passed the first INT check, then fucking whiffed the second CHA check because I just assumed I would pass and hit continue... but then I kinda got the sense passing or failing would not make much difference here and... yup.

Empy scoops us up into the Astral Prism and it's Orpheus time, babey. Freeing Orpheus was no question but I did question, "what if I became the mindflayer" which prompted Astarion to be like, "could we have an aside, privately? You're not really going to throw away that pretty face of yours?????" very cute.

Aldiirn knew Emperor was vehemently against freeing Orpheus, but hoped he could convince Emperor to see reason. Like they all got the same goals, they can all combine their power, we can talk Orpheus into cooling don his blood feud for the sake of a bigger bad. Aldiirn's a fucking bard with +15 Persuasion if anyone could do it, it would be him, but--- NO!!! EMPEROR HAD TO BE A GODDAMN BITCH AND SWITCHED SIDES LIKE. IMMEDIATELY. NO DISCUSSION. BRUH.

Also one thing I feel there was a missed opportunity on was confronting Emperor over, hey buddy weren't you the mindflayer that put tadpoles in our heads??? It's definitely Emperor in the opening scene. I really wanted to hear from it about what happened on the nautiloid but all we got were like, some records in Gortash's palace and it's ambiguous if Emperor was of itself at the time. alas.

Gave Lae'zel the honours to free Orpheus aaaand here's the mindflayer conversation all over again. And like, shit, after everything that was done to free the guy and drive the githyanki revolution, becoming the mindflayer felt most in character for Aldiirn. I'm pretty sure I sat over the decision for a solid ten minutes like WONT SOMEONE PERSUADE ME OUT OF THIS lmao. But Astarion kinda had with the aside before. I might make a comic to flesh out the moment like... I think it would be a good one of the party backing Aldiirn up to choose his own freedom after pushing for everyone else's.

Orpheus became the mindflayer, tragic but necessary. I felt so bad for Lae'zel. Uuggh the emotion in her face here.

and then the goofiest smile ever in High Hall haha. Everyone from Gather Your Allies being mushed in there felt a little contrived but, what the hell, SUMMON YOUR SOCIAL LINKS!!! I love a good friendship moment.

Hooboy the battles here really gave the D&D experience: waiting 40 minutes for your turn in initiative to show up. IDK why but at first I thought it would be a brilliant idea to surround the enemy but soon realised it turned the battle into an immediate slog. Reload, and instead fought starting from the wall on the west side. Got this nice little screencap of my mans fighting side by side even though neither should be anywhere near melee haha.

I have to say, I think I would have preferred that all the companions be allowed into the battle over the ally summons for the final battle. At least the origin ones. I want to replay it at some point with the party limit begone mod.

The tower was the hardest part, getting up past that stupid statue that COULDNT BE BROKEN DOWN... Aldiirn and Lae'zel could fly but Astarion and Gale couldn't even see where to teleport. It's SO annoying that Dimension Door has to be a point you can see now, its whole thing in 5e was that you didn't need to.

Whenever Gale brings up exploding himself I wanna do that Archer slap fest bit to him. Buddy, no, we are ALL getting out of this alive!

Up we go to the brain of the bad bitch herself and THE BIGGEST TRAITOR BITCH!!!!!! okay but bringing out the dream visitors to fight was cool. Seems Aldiirn's got reverted to the default drow dude (he should have had similar green skiin and short white hair) and I'm guessing the others are just kinda like, stock random ones. Looks like they are all human female. Would have been nice to see ones tailored for each companion you bring. Then they can all chide each other later like "so THAT'S what you find attractive?" hehe

Remember I stole that runepowder bomb from Wulbren? Yeah, I brought it with me as a parting gift for Emperor. Threw the bomb at its feet and then KA-BOOM!!!!! Wiped out Empy, all the Guardians, and fucked up everything else INCLUDING ALDIIRN. I have no idea WHAT happened -- maybe Emperor's shield of thralls??? -- because I'm certain he was behind Lae'zel when she threw & exploded the bomb and she was kind. Aldiirn just fucking dropped dead behind her. I just laughed and rolled with it, Astarion got Aldiirn back on his feet.

Fight was good, the most annoying bit were the Mindflayers and Dominating Aylin AGAIN. I swear to got that woman can never pass a WIS save.

And then when we got to the unshakeable will of the netherbrain???? Lae'zel fucking shredded it with 9 attacks. Astarion gets a crit with an Arrow of Aberration Slaying (but no sneak attack). It's hanging on by a thread.

Aldiirn enters.

"TWIT"

"TWAT"

"TWERP"

fucking. Vicious Mockeried the BBEG to death. The most legendary goddamn move a Bard can ever do. No other bard I play will ever top that.

Down she goooooes and oh fuck everyone's getting fucked from the tadpoles dying in their heads

And then... silence. it's over. Aldiirn has his cute face back I wanted to sob seeing it again. I really expected more consquences for taking the Astral tadpole but... still, I wanted him to survive and enjoy the rest of his life.

But of course there were still things to go wrong.

Lae'zel and Orpheus, I couldn't let Lae'zel devote her life to another cult and endless war when she could have her own freedom, forge her own destiny, so I persuaded her to stay on Faerun. Orpheus went and committed sudoku which, eh, tbh I feel like he was weak willed for that. It does feel a bit like everything done to free Orpheus was for naught but Lae'zel deserves a chance to live her own life.

Side note, I was amused that Aldiirn apparently still had his Illithid Expertise feature as that was his source of Persuasion Expertise at the end heh.

continuing the mood of "fuck doing anymore quests" I told Gale to leave the crown in the river... completely fucking forgetting that Mystra was gonna remove the orb in exchange for it afhdjkfsd. I like to think it keeps Aldiirn awake at night sometimes. "why did he listen to me. why hasn't he gone back for it. all our brains were fried right then why couldn't any of you make your own decisions." lmao.

and POOR ASTARION. Just fucking fried right there in the beautiful sun. Gale's like "well we'll never see him again" UH BRO WHAT??? PLEASE JUST HOLD THE OTHER END OF THIS FUCKING TARP SO WE CAN GET HIM INSIDE SOMEWHERE. Thooouuughhh I headcanon that Aldiirn cast Darkness on Astarion and tell him to hold on while another pressing matter ignites...

Karlach, baby, noooo!!! Promising to be with Karlach at the end is the only reason Aldiirn wouldn't immediately chase after Astarion and, yeah. Aaa my eyes were tearing so much. I thought back to her post-Gortash breakdown and was like, "karlach. you want to live. you SHOULD get to live. Go with Wyll to Avernus."

Kicking demon ass never looked so good. I figure, there's some hellish real estate opening, those two should look into it, and the REAL celebration party should be at the House of Hope so everyone can be there. :D

Aldiirn would have gone with Karlach and Wyll, but he's needed on this plane.

God, Astarion looks so hollow when he mentions losing his time in the sun. Aldiirn wants that back for him so badly, but also needs a fucking break from adventuring. I headcanon that reverting the partial illithid transforation was not a clean cut thing by any measure and Aldiirn has a longer road to recovery ahead of him. But he's not gonna sit idle. There's thousands of vampire spawn in is home, the Underdark, that need guidance, and just maybe a bardy bard is just the type needed to inspire them to band together. Aldiirn's gotta know of a large enough abandoned megadungeon that could house them all while they work to support themselves. And then, when he's in good enough shape, Aldiirn will find a way for Astarion to bask in the sun again.

[patricia-von-arundel]

I'm really sorry for the rant. If you don't want any more on this subject please ignore this.

I care about games. I care about media. I care about the consumerism, capitalism lowering the standards for media and leading to anti-intellectualism among some people ( which I think we can agree on seeing your opinion on booktok ? ) like the ones complaining about three houses story directly saying they prefer tropey story and horny element, worded like that. Ultimately this isn't just Engage but other game as well, it's not even just the video game industry...

I care about how the representation of diversity seems to be going backwards in this FE. You had strong feminist theme in Fe3h along with fascinating women characters allowed to be powerful, flawed, angry... Now you have camera focusing on boob and ass as well as some weird horny design ( at least men and women seems equally bad in term of trope ). You had Claude, Petra, Hapi, Shamir, Cyril and more speaking of xenophobia and racism... Now you have some weirdly orientalist element.

Even, outside of all that, if it was just a game. Aren't we allowed to be upset that the elements we love the most, the complex story and characters, aren't present? Aren't we allowed to feel the series is going backwards from our point of view?

If Three Houses wasn't that complex, then why aren't we allowed to have been hoping the series would go forward and not backwards in term of complexity?

There's nothing wrong with liking Engage, and people who say you can't enjoy it are wrong, but we're allowed to be upset. Three Houses fans are a non-negligible part of the fandom, our opinions matters just as much now!

I think the circle of hate you mentioned for new game is also present for games that are just behind the recently new released game, as far as I've seen for other FE.

At least I hope that like you say the next FE will be like Fe3h story and character wise as well as taking Engage better technical aspect.

You can read and enjoy both Danielle Steele and George Eliot, y'know. Booktok isn't anti-intellectual, it's easily-led young people who have always existed and always been about the same. It's an annoyance, not the end of literature.

The whole "dumbing down" of media/media is corrupting people is... an argument as old as media. OH NO PICTURE SHOWS WILL RUIN THEATER. ALAS THE YOUNG PEOPLE WOULD RATHER READ DICKENS THAN CLASSICAL LITERATURE. MY STARS, THE YOUTH OF ATHENS ARE LISTENING TO ***PHILOSOPHERS***!

🤷‍♀️

And diversity? In Fire Emblem? Going backwards???

I remember when practically last week people were whining about Ingrid, about Claude, about Dedue. About the M/M paired endings. Before that it was about the tribes in Fates and the single M/M and F/F S-supports. Before that, well, Awakening apparently ruined the series by being popular. 🤣

FE is not and has never been known for racial or sexual nuance.

I play games that entertain. I don't need to be taught ethics on my Switch. I have morals already. If a game wants to teach morals or ethics, that's cool. But if it doesn't, you can't say it had some obligation to do so. Make your own game. FE has never been that deep. And Three Houses wasn't as deep as people now suddenly want to insist. It wasn't complex. It just had four different versions of storyline, all of which left multiple loose ends and unanswered questions.

You're allowed to be upset. And I'm allowed to roll my eyes.

IT. IS. A. GAME. A strategy game. Not the second coming of Immanuel Kant or Simone de Beauvoir or Mary Wollstonecraft. Nor did it ever claim to be.

I'll be enjoying it very soon. And I'll wait for the whiners to find something else to complain about. I'm sure the next crusade is just around the corner. It always is. Always is. Trust me - I've actually gotten past age twenty and have the ability to enjoy things without them being 100% morally pure and perfect.

[lizhly-writes]

for the recent ask game: 1, 7, 19, 22, 36 :), 55, 73?

(sorry, these are just such interesting questions, i did try to limit myself i promise)

ahahahaaaa okay

1. Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

truly i'd like to say that i enjoy writing multi-chaptered fics more. my ambition is grand! alas: my writing stamina is weak. i'm more prone to comfortably writing 500 words and cutting it off there. nobody resents this more than me.

so i suppose it's accurate to say i prefer writing oneshots and resent the fact that i prefer i writing oneshots.

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

so for multi-POV works of fiction, i essentially switch when i get bored, or when i can't figure out where to go next. if i'm bored, then the next character should be more interesting; if i can't figure out where to go next, then i probably don't have a good grasp on at least one of the characters and need to get inside that character's head to do an examination.

for single POVs? it'll just be whoever I've decided will be the Main Character!!!

19. What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

...boringly enough, it's kim dokja. if you don't include characters, i'm afraid to say that everything is very, very even.

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

hmm. so i don't think i'll ever write anything that will require me to put a Dead Dove: Do Not Eat warning on it. any particular tropes themselves, i probably wouldn't shy away from at least implying, but it's incredibly unlikely that i would -- or even could! -- go far enough to say "YEAH I REALLY MEAN IT THERE'S A DEAD DOVE IN HERE", you know?

maybe the dove will be sleeping. maybe you will think the dove is dead but actually, surprise, it was alive the whole time. it is really hard for me to mean it enough to tell you this kind of thing, you know? i don't have the stomach for it.

36. How do you write kissing scenes?

I was WONDERING what the smiley face was for.

sometimes unromantically (i have described a kiss as tasting like spit more than once), but usually quite abstractly. there are some details thrown in - soft lips, warm mouths, hot tongues, this kind of thing. but am i describing what any of those are actually DOING? eh. not necessarily. does it work? who knows? not many of the kiss scenes i've written have actually made it out into the wild, i don't get much feedback on them.

sometimes i just go 'they kissed' and then i write about the panic that happens after that.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

currently, it's my oc, yang haoran. i don't really have a favorite when it comes to fandom. for some reason, i haven't gotten quite the same joy out of breaking someone else's character in half, you know?

it's probably him because i definitely had some of y'all who enjoyed the story he's in and said some nice things about it. if i hadn't, it's unlikely i would have written him for long enough that i like him this much ahaha

73. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

this is frankly a bit hard because i'm not terribly self aware about my own writing. i would have to say that often times, i don't let tension last long. in longer works, it's unlikely i can stay serious for very long; there's likely going to be a one-liner or joke that's popping up.

i'm also pretty fond of using repetition, often times in the same sentence, to smooth things out or to really hammer in a joke. i REALLY like using hyphens. I have a tendency to start paragraphs with ellipses (thanks, orv), and this certain way of structuring sentences (THANKS ORV) like so:

"This type of phrasing, I'm told it's incorrect", instead of "I'm told this type of phrasing is incorrect."

send me an ask!

[catgirlalchemist]

Mihri’s Mech OVA (Part 1)

AKA “I didn’t like Sorrows of Werlyt so I’m rewriting it entirely and cutting Gaius, and also making up my own extensive XIV mech lore.”

“I’m turning on the KLEOS now, Cid.”

“Roger that, Mihri. Reading the KLEOS as active.”

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply and evenly. All around her, the cockpit was lit up with holographic screens reporting on every aspect of her surroundings, but none of that mattered right now. The hairpin-like device on her forehead was warm, and she could feel it guiding her toward the familiar mental state of the Echo.

Hear… Feel… That wasn’t it. She needed to go deeper. The machine around her was thrumming above her, below her, around her, like a living being. Focus on its soul, Cid had said, and your own will follow. She let herself sink into it.

The thrumming was inside her, now, and she opened her eyes, raised her hand, and saw the metal fingers flex as she moved them. She turned her head to the side and looked towards the catwalk at eye level. Cid and the other Ironworks technicians were so small compared to her now. “I’ve got it,” she said.

Cid held his hand up to his linkpearl. Of course, she realized, her voice still wasn’t coming out of this new face. “I’d gathered! All readings are green, Mihri, the KLEOS is stable and the Valiance is responding to you perfectly.”

Mihri Ninaka hadn’t really expected to spend her return trip to the Source piloting a giant robot the size of a five-story building, but Cid had told her there was a new Garlean warmachina approaching the Eorzean front, and this Ruby Weapon appeared indestructible by any conventional means. A young conscript engineer had apparently fled to Ala Mhigo with data on the Resonant-based control system the machina was using, and Cid and the rest of the Ironworks had been able to adapt it to their own machine, but the Alliance didn’t exactly have a surplus of Echo-users to pilot it.

How strange it was, she thought, as the final checks were run on the Valiance’s systems, to think that her real body was a tiny figure nestled in the heart of the one she now perceived as her own. Her true hands were moving on the machine’s control sticks, directing it to move as she willed it, but she would not feel them again until she shut down the KLEOS—or if something went wrong and it was shut down for her. Cid had wanted to test the device more thoroughly before sending her into battle, worried about the repercussions if she was kicked from the system abruptly, but there was simply no time. The Garlean defector, Avilina, had merely remarked somberly that the system had already been tested in blood before she’d gotten away to the Alliance.

“Everything looks good, Mihri, we’re ready to fly you to the Ghimlyt Dark. Do you want to disconnect from the KLEOS, or stay linked?”

She resisted the urge to hold her machine-hand up to a linkpearl that wasn’t there. “I’m going to stay connected. There’s no time for a test run, but at least I can spend as much time getting used to this body as possible.”

“Right,” said Cid, “I’m going to have you walk out of the hangar so the Enterprise can pick you up, then.” She watched him wave his tiny arms at the gaggle of technicians still standing around. “All right everyone, move to your assigned safe zones! We’re launching in 10.” Someone had flicked a switch, and yellow caution lights began flashing throughout the hangar. Figures began to scatter, looking like dolls from this height. It would be terrifyingly easy to crush them accidentally, so Mihri stayed very very still.

The lights changed to red, and stopped flashing, then turned green. Cid turned to face Mihri—face the Valiance, she supposed, though right now the distinction didn’t really matter. “All right, we’re ready for you to go. Everyone’s clear.”

She nodded. “Understood. IX-9 Valiance, launching now.” The hangar doors began to slide open and Mihri stepped forward. She’d worried that she wouldn’t be able to balance, seeing as how the Valiance had no tail, but this body felt as natural as her own. If experiencing an Echo vision didn’t cause her to feel she was in an alien form, then there was no reason this should either.

[aamirastories]

Part 5

We're back again with Ammy! Thank you to anyone who reads and enjoys this!

Ammy

May 4th, 2033

Ouch. My eyes opened, albeit slowly as sunlight streamed through my window. As I rolled onto my back, I was quickly reminded of the previous night, my hip a sore memory. I pulled off the sheet and saw a bruise start to develop. I dismissed it as quickly as I had seen it – it hadn’t been the first time I had gotten this kind of treatment and I’m sure it wouldn’t be the last.

I switched on the TV, flicking through the channels.

“Tensions between Oman and…”

*click*

“And now, for $1000, what is the third element in…”

*click*

“Fertility is within your reach with F..”

I switched the TV off. I stretched, and as the sheet fell around me, the breeze from the AC made my skin instantly come up in goosebumps,  hastily throwing it back around me again. I gathered it up around me and stood up, stepping towards the window. Tucked away in one of the few quiet corners of the bustling heart of Dubai, my apartment was my cosy sanctuary. From my bed, nestled in an alcove, it offered a clear view of the entire living space. The kitchenette – one stove top, a few counters, a small fridge with its own freezer compartment, a microwave and a coffee machine - all of the essentials. All of my essentials, certainly. Coffee was becoming rarer these days and hence more expensive, but it was an extravagance I didn’t mind. I needed it. Especially today. The bathroom was nestled in the opposite corner, with its own shower but no bath. And how I would love to have a bath, to soak my soreness away and be lost in it.

As I looked outside, cars were moving through the city, the traffic building as it grew closer to noon. I had slept in, my sleep interrupted through the night by the bruise on my hip and the headache I still needed to take care of. My scalp roared and as I brought my hand up to my head, the memories rushed back, and I slumped to the ground. I closed my eyes trying to shut those images out but alas, my mind betrayed me. The girl seemed lovely; she was genuinely enjoying it. I was, however, used. I blinked a tear from my eye and looked outside again. Today, as any other, was a new day. I stood up, walked over to my bedside cabinet and picked up my Glass, looking at my schedule for the day.

14:00 – Pharmacy

16:00 – Gym

Not a lot planned today. Thankfully. I was tempted to skip the Gym, but I needed to feel good about myself. Since I began working out 10 years ago, I’d been proud of my body. I put a hand to my belly and felt my abdomen. I was getting a 4-pack. I wasn’t too concerned with getting a 6 pack or being particularly muscly – I aimed much more for a toned physique, but I was proud of what I had achieved. Self-pride was what kept me from going to darker places.

I dropped the sheet, put some briefs on, put on a simple top and jeans and grabbed my Glass. I needed to head out to get some new coffee pods and milk and now would be the quietest time to head there as most of the commuters in the city would be purely focused on getting to work. Slipping into my shoes, I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

I turned, locked the door and spun around, ready to head to the elevator before a figure stood in front of me, a clear 5 or so inches taller than me.

“Rent, when is it coming? You only have a week!”, the male in front of me abruptly said. This was my landlord, a broad shouldered man casting a long shadow that engulfed me entirely. His eyes were sharp and scrutinising, his voice deep and resonant, each word carefully enunciated to emphasise the seriousness of his request. He had an air of intimidation surrounding him.

“I’ll have it for you soon I promise, I won’t be late again!”, I replied, giving him a soft and genuine smile before aiming to head around him. He sidestepped, standing in front of me once more, blocking my escape entirely.

“If you’re late again, I’ll find a new tenant. This is your last warning, okay?”, he added, looking me up and down.

His words trailed off into a murmur, "If you weren't—well. Mmhh," he taunted, the smirk on his face stretching into a sneer that seemed to echo in the tense silence. What a vile creature he was. If I wasn't what? Different? Transexual? The urge to press his smug expression against the cold, unyielding wall surged within me, a primal call to action. Yet, restraint prevailed; I quelled the tempest inside. After all, where would I flee? The world outside was just as unwelcoming, almost entirely devoid of confidants or sanctuary. 

 “Please let me go, I’ll get your money”, I replied, and forced my way past him and down the hallway. I looked over my shoulder and he was gone. I pushed the button on the elevator, the *ding* of the elevator almost startling me, my entire body on edge. The doors opened straight away. Finally, some luck. I headed inside, pushed ‘G’ and headed down, watching him walk away from me as the doors closed.

I stepped outside into the street, the wall of heat hitting me. It was late Spring, and the temperatures were already building. I figured at least in the late 30s in terms of temperature. I headed down the street and tried to smile at people heading past me. No-one made eye contact with me, they just stared straight past me, so I put my head down and kept walking, mentally walking through what had just happened, and what I needed to do today.

A few hundred metres later, I arrived at the store and stepped in. Though not uncomfortably hot, the AC that struck me as I entered, I was grateful for. I grabbed a basket and proceeded down the aisles, knowing where to head, taking what I needed and heading to the cashier. The daughter of the owner was waiting at the checkout – I was grateful this was a family run store and not a larger one. I’d always hated crowds.

“Good morning, Ammy!”, she said, beaming with a smile at seeing me. This was another reason I came here. This girl was one of the few people who greeted me with genuine happiness. She stood slightly taller than me, darker skinned with black long flowing hair and hazel eyes that twinkled when she smiled.

We chatted about the latest rom-com movie in the cinema – ‘Cupid’s Mishap’. I had seen it alone a few nights ago while waiting for an appointment and it was a movie we had both been looking forward to and always found ourselves chatting about when we met. As the conversation ended, she placed a finger delicately under my chin and looked me in the eyes.

“Have you been sleeping, Ammy?”, she asked me. I wanted to lie and say I had been sleeping well but I couldn’t. I could tell the look on my face was one of stress, exhaustion and whilst I’m sure I didn’t display signs of the incident last night, I’m sure signs of it still showed.

“It’s been tough, I’ve had headaches and restless nights.”, I replied, no omission by any stretch - I hadn’t slept properly for days.

She took out her purse and took out a small tube of cream, applying a small bead of it to her fingers and rubbing it gently under my eyes. It smelt of peppermint and the aroma of it filled my nose, instantly making me feel more alert, my eyes widening.

“This should help, and it also helps with the loose skin under the eyes when you don’t sleep. Ammy – take care of yourself. Make sure you’re getting sleep okay?”, she added, and gave me another warm smile. If it wasn’t for the fact her parents despised me, this girl could be a true friend of mine. I had hoped she would leave this business and set up something for herself so we could truly get to know each other.

I thanked her, as a customer behind me was getting impatient, signified by the tapping of their foot. Though I wanted to say something to them, I had figured it was probably a bad idea. I flashed my Glass over the scanner and once it had registered the transaction, I smiled after her. I touched her side softly and gave her a soft smile, mouthing the words ‘Thank you’, and walked to the door, the customer behind me almost occupying the space before I had left it.

“Bye Ammy!”, she said after me.

“Bye Kristy!”I said after her, truly thankful for the brief time we’d had this morning and I felt, for the first time in over 2 days, a smile fill my face. 

I headed back to my apartment, not caring if anyone smiled back at me. My head was held high, and I headed back up to my apartment, through the glass doors, up the elevator and, after taking a wary look to ensure the landlord was not lurking and waiting for my return, I headed into my apartment. I unpacked the bags, grabbed the pods and milk before taking them to the coffee machine to make myself my first cup for the day. And I had been looking forward to it.

As the coffee machine whirred away, the aroma of it filled the apartment and I sighed, closing my eyes. Once it was done filling my cup, I opened my purse and checked my FutureCraft ID and Appointment Slip were in there, before setting my purse down and taking my now ready cup from the machine.

I sat on the edge of my bed and savoured that cup. I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm myself – the memories of yesterday returning once again. Though it was a painful experience, emotionally and physically, I needed it. I just wish I had gotten paid. Should I go and ask for the money? At least my appointment this afternoon would guarantee payment. I just hated having to put myself out for others without reward, letting them use me for their gains.

Hopefully what I was doing would help stop all this. Not just for me but everyone like me.

One day.

[helium-rambles]

What a Spellcaster Leaves Behind

Another perfume ramble! This one is about Osmofolia's Duet "What a Spellcaster Leaves Behind". What's interesting about this fragrance, is that it's actually two different bottles (hence the duet part) and you layer them to make a new scent.

(If you're unfamiliar with layering, you can do it a couple different ways, but I usually just put the first scent on my left wrist and the second on my right. Then I bring both wrists up to my nose and experience the fragrance together.)

Scent number one is called Honey Dust with notes of pollen, hay, honey, beeswax, powdered sugar. I thought this might be too sweet for me with the honey and powdered sugar, but I don't get much sweetness from this. It mostly smells like pollen, but I think the honey and hay adds some depth to it. This smells like somewhere I've been, but I can't remember (and honestly, it drives me a bit crazy trying to remember where I know this scent from)

Scent number two is called Antique Books with notes of paper, leather, glue, old books, cedar, vanilla, cetalox. I don't get any of the leather, but I get the rest of the notes. It mostly smells like cold vanilla, but there is the smell of the glue holding together an old book. It's very simple on it's own. Something I might use up, just because the scent is inoffensive, even if it's not a favorite, but then...

But then, when you combine the two scents, I get the scene the perfumer was going for. What really works in the perfumer's favor is that most of their scents are "airy". With a house like Cherry-ka's Trunk, the scent is pretty solidly there. You smell vanilla and the vanilla is on you. Osmofolia, however, can almost smell like it's a coming to you on a breeze. Not that it's faint, but it has a light, airy quality to the scent. The vanilla mellows out some of the harshness of the pollen, and all day, I can pick up the scent of a spellcaster's remnants in the wind. Or maybe I am the wind, lol.

I love the concepts of duets, and I think this one is done well. I will admit, most of the magic for me is in the name. I'm sold on the story the perfumer is telling me, and a scent that might have only been a like, moved to a love for me.

My one complaint is that it lasts forever. I think my skin might just be magic, because on most people it seems to lastfor 8-12 hours. However, on me it last 48 HOURS and by the time it finally washes off, I'm a bit sick of the scent. So I like it (and I bought a full-size), but I don't actually wear it that often because it's such a commitment.

I did recently switch my body wash which has seemed to help, so now it usually goes away about 2 hours after one shower (much better than the two showers and several hours it was lasting before), but I still find myself hesitant to wear it because of that rough start.

Anyway, I've learned my lesson to never full-size something until after I finish my sample. Otherwise I would have been made aware of the longevity issue sooner (I thought I had gotten some on my coat and was smelling it there, but alas, it was still on my skin).

[my-ocdemons]

Okay this is my second time typing this BC I accidentally posted to my main.

...

This is hard to write because my OCD makes me type things over and over again so pardon and typos or nonsensical rambling.

My OCD started quite young (5-7), when I was fearful of contaminating the house with germs from object, animals and people. This resulted in excessive hand washing. My parents didn't notice at this time and it was livable.

My OCD got much worse during highschool though and my parents noticed, especially when the washing instensified. I started to wash everything, my books, my computer, my bed, my pens, my clothes (and not the normal way the paper towels and water way). This continued at a stagnant severity until covid and and the following lockdown.

Initially I thought it was great. My washing was finally justified. I could avoid all the major triggers for my OCD by staying inside. I was enjoying myself. Until eventually I couldnt step over cracks one day. It was a ritual that was present all throughout lockdown, but got much worse eventually. When it was less about object contaminating things, but my thoughts.

Soon I couldnt cross any doorway without going back and forth for an hour and i couldn't cross the front door at all so my parents had to carry me ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ . At this point I was zooming with my first therapist who did nothing really other than zoom me every fortnight and mansplain anxiety to me.

So, switched her out and got another one.

By the time of my first appointment with my second therapist covid restrictions were easing up. I though she was cool because she had a therapy cat and I'm a sucker for lil bundles of fluff. But she put me on meds, which wouldn't have been an issue if she had have actually done some work with me on top of that, instead, everytime I went to her she simply said to wait for the meds to kick in and it would be marvellous if there was a little tablet that would take this away from me but alas, nope. Stayed with her and then I was sent to headspace (side note: headspace did nothing themselves, like completely useless) who redirected me to NECAHMS. Then I met the first good therapist I've had, Dr Vader, she actually seemed to care when I told her what was going on, by this time I had gotten over a few of my rituals myself, but with her support I could actually leave my own house without being carried.

Now, you may be wondering why I have dubbed her Dr Vader, well, it's because like most father's she left me. She got a new role in the office and couldn't keep seeing me. I felt a bit shoved aside but oh well, what can you do. Then I got directed to my current therapist who is lovely. We've done some actual talking, she helped me understand my OCD and also wants to bring my parents in to be better supports. I've learned to think of my OCD in a new way and it's still debilitating, but there's hope now.

Sometimes... I lied... Alot of the time a get sad knowing that this will never truly be gone, but at least it might be manageable...

Who knows.

[stormyoceans]

KAREEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! IM SO INCREDIBLY HAPPY AND GRATEFUL THAT YOU’RE DOING THE REWATCH!!!!!!! i know making your own posts can be kinda scary but please know that you’re doing great and that every single contribute matters!!!!!!

“brown like horse shit” will forever be the most iconic line uttered in the history of television SORRY BUT IT’S JUST SO FUNNY AND IT SENDS ME EVERY SINGLE TIME. imagine saying that to one of the people who are supposed to hire you and STILL getting the job of your dreams THAT’S JUST PEAK KING BEHAVIOUR. then again, talay is probably one of the most charming and lovable characters i’ve ever seen, no wonder he can get away with everything. also if GMMTV had the vision we would have gotten the DVD box set with a special featurette about the show titled ‘horse shit brown’ as a funny little nod both to this iconic moment and to the color coded episodes BUT ALAS

vice versa is honestly such a gem of a show not only because it was able to remain true to its characters and have a consistent and coherent narrative until the very end while at the same time being forced to add so many product placements (and doing a damn good job at it if i may add), but also because it integrated so many cameos and easter eggs so naturally!!!! NO OTHER SHOW WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT THIS IS THE HILL IM GONNA DIE ON

i wish i could answer all your questions about universe-swapping but unfortunately some things will indeed remain without a proper explanation ;;;;;; @morkofday and i joked about how we would have liked vice versa to be like those chinese series with 50 episodes so that it could explore all the different possibilities about universe travelling, because when you start thinking about it there really are so many interesting scenarios that you can come up with, but in the end im okay with not having all the answers. the fantasy part was never the point of the show, so i think they established it just enough for what they were trying to convey. i do want to (quickly) share my two cents on puen and talay switching with tun and tess tho, because if you think about it, talay is way more similar to tun (they’re both hardworking boys with a big dream and a loving family) and puen to tess (rich boys already connected to the movie industry and a complicated relationship to their family [or the lack thereof]) than the opposite, but i don't think it's a coincidence that the universe (which is somewhat of a sentient force in the show) made them switch with the person they have less in common: there are lessons to be learned in living someone else's life, especially when it's quite the opposite of yours

ANYWAY. thank you so much for doing this!!!!!! i've loved to read your thoughts and if you feel like doing it again please know that im looking forward to it!!!!! ALSO HAVE I FOUND OST OF ALL TIME SO TRUE OF YOU TO SAY THAT

Ok I’m doing it!!!

I’m doing the Vice Versa rewatch!! I know we’re on week 2 and I’m behind but I had stuff going on and I didn’t have time 🙈

I don’t usually make my own posts about shows I watch so bear with me I’m kinda new at this 😅

Just a few minutes in and I realize I forgot so much of it! Of course I remember how much I loved it and how it made me feel but the details of the story have been lost by now.

When Talay described the man as brown like a horse shit I laughed out loud! Did I forget how funny the show was? 😅

This is the most iconic intro of a character ever 👏🏽😍😎 KING!! And we all know how I feel about him in the scene with the suspenders 😏

Look at these smitten kittens!! I love Sea’s freckles 🥰

As I keep watching I keep remembering so much from when I first saw it. Vice Versa was my second GMMTV BL and my 4th overall and I’ve seen so many since then but this one is really in my top 3 (I have 3 faves but they’re not ranked among themselves, they’re all equally my faves) which is really saying something! I loved this show so much and I really fell in love with Sea at first watch (Jimmy I liked but I didn’t love him til later. It took longer to warm up to him cause I didn’t like his character in Bad Buddy).

And it was my second GMMTV BL after Bad Buddy which was so good and literally changed my life cause it got me into BLs! And I was excited to see OhmNanon in it too! But I wasn’t really as disappointed that they weren’t in the show as much or that they didn’t end up together as other people were.

The way they switched from Sea to Ohm and back is pretty cool to see!

I remember that each episode was color coded and I remember not paying attention to the colors at all for some eps and trying my hardest to notice them for other eps. I’m so bad at noticing visuals like that 😅 but I would check tumblr after each episode and see how others noticed the colors! I see the ocean blue here in ep 1 🌊👀

Oh that’s right! There was a ForceBook cameo! I never watched Enchante 😅 and oh snap! The password to the secret universe-swapping club is a quote from 2gether! I understand that reference now! 😁

I have questions about this universe-swapping. Are there only 2 universes that do the swapping? Or are there a million universes that anyone could be from? If so they’re so lucky they’re from the same one and swapped to the same one, that’s fate right there. And what if you were swapped with someone of a different culture? Would one automatically know the language of the region they’re in? Or is it that you only switch with someone of your own culture? Is it like you switch with the “you” of that world? But Puen and Talay aren’t really like Tun and Tess 🤔 questions that will never be answered…

Sea’s voice is beautiful and Have I Found will always be a top tier OST in my book!! 👏🏽 one of my faves!!

What a wild ride that was revisiting ep 1 of this show! All the emotions just came flooding back to me! Maybe I don’t have anything deep to say to add to the discourse of this show but I’m so glad Monica came up with this rewatch cause I’m having a good time! Thank you @stormyoceans! I’m excited to keep going, maybe I’ll notice more stuff I didn’t realize the first time around 😁

[totentnz]

im playing pokemon again and im so tired of drapple

[helpihaveatype]

love notes

♥ pairing: akaashi keiji x f!reader

♥ wc: 3390

♥ summary: too nervous to ask you out, akaashi begins leaving love poems in your locker. when the opportunity arises, will he find the courage to confess?

♥ warnings: just fluff

Akaashi tapped his pen on his desk. It was too cheesy, he thought. You’d hate it, he continued to fret. But he’d already edited it ad nauseam and copied it onto a fresh sheet of paper so the message wouldn’t be interrupted by all the crossed out words and sloppy erasings.

When the bell rang and classes—the last of which he’d been totally unable to focus on—were officially over for the day, he made his way out into the busy hall. You breezed past him as you chatted with a friend, heading to your lockers. You never stayed at your locker long, just grabbed your things and left. But today your friend was apparently having some kind of dilemma, and you were paused at it for a while.

Akaashi busied himself at his own locker, the one right next to yours. Alas, he had to get to practice and couldn’t really wait any longer.

So much for slipping this love letter in their locker, he thought bitterly to himself, shutting his locker door harder than he meant to. It startled you and your friend. He shot you an apologetic glance and mumbled sorry.

The gym was definitely a safe place for him, and the court was his home. The solace it provided him allowed for his worries to slip from his mind. But, as soon as practice was over, it all came flooding back. He listened half-heartedly as Yukie and Kaori told the team they found a replacement manager for next year. Someone in his year, he dully noted, since they couldn’t find an interested first year. She’d be starting tomorrow.

Before leaving the gym, he pulled the love poem out of his bag, just wanting to check that he hadn’t lost it. Unfortunately for him, Bokuto was peering over his shoulder.

“A love letter for me,” Bokuto said with puppy dog eyes. “Akaashi-kun, you shouldn't have.”

“Your head grows bigger by the day, Bokuto-san. There’s a reason you haven’t gotten any love letters.”

At that, Bokuto pouted. “My mom says everyone’s just too intimidated by how awesome I am.”

“It’s ok Bokuto, we all know who it’s for anyway,” Washio chimed in, having heard Bokuto’s loud declarations.

“Yeah, you saw how his eyes widened when he spotted her at our last game,” Onaga slid into the conversation.

“Oh, you guys mean-”

“I swear you’ll all be the death of me,” Akaashi interjected, effectively cutting Bokuto off. “I was just practicing some poetry.”

“Sure, sure,” Bokuto grinned. “But when are you going to give it to her?”

Akaashi groaned. No point hiding it now, he supposed. “I was going to put it in her locker today but it didn’t work out. So tomorrow morning I suppose.”

“It’s a blessing in disguise, really,” Washio said, having glanced at it before Akaashi hid it away in his bag once more. “You forgot to sign your name!”

“That was intentional. It’s more of a secret admirer kind of thing.”

“Oh oh oh! Girls love that kind of thing, don’t they?” Bokuto exclaimed, getting excited on his friend’s behalf. He called out to the managers, leaving the gym, “Hey, Yukie, Kaori! You guys would like having a secret admirer, yeah?”

“It’d definitely be sweet,” Kaori responded.

“Why Bokuto? Are you going to be ours?” Yukie teased.

He proudly puffed out his chest, but Akaashi answered before he could.  “Please don’t encourage him.” He turned back to his teammates, lowering his voice before continuing. “I just want to get an idea of if she’s even into the idea of dating before I do anything. I’ll tell her soon. Eventually.”

His friends stopped teasing him, switching to a few words of encouragement before they went their separate ways.

Tomorrow morning, Akaashi told himself. But maybe he’d run out of courage by then. Making sure no one was around, he went back to your locker and slipped it in, his heart and stomach doing flips. No way he could get it out now; he’d just have to wait and see.

───── ⋆⋅♡⋅⋆ ─────

“Your eyes are like the twinkling stars of a night sky, mysterious and beautiful. I’d drift through them without a tether forever if you’d let me.”

“Stop,” you squealed, grabbing the note out of your friend’s hand so she’d stop reading it. “Hearing it out loud is just making me even more flustered.”

“Whoever left it for you must feel the same way since they just slid it inside your locker.”

“Exactly, it was just in my locker. Maybe someone put it in there by mistake!”

“And you’re going to tell me that these things don’t describe you? It’s pretty obvious: someone’s smitten!”

Akaashi just observed out of the corner of his eye as you read the letter to yourself again. He pretended he was listening to music, but really nothing was playing through his earbuds. You didn’t seem any the wiser.

“Well, it doesn’t matter now,” you declared, carefully folding the note and putting it in your bag. Akaashi’s heart sank for a moment. “I don’t know who left it, and I can’t for certain know if it was meant for me… We’ll just have to see what happens from here. I bet nothing will come of it though.”

Your friend just sighed as the two of you began to make your way to class. “Someone writes you a love poem and you still can’t even see how awesome you are. What am I supposed to do with you?”

It seemed that the conversation was switching topics as you drifted out of earshot of Akaashi. The words he had heard didn’t leave his head all day, however, and he kept playing them on loop. His head was in a haze by the time he reached the gym for practice.

Not so great considering he almost ran smack dab into you, saying your name in surprise.

“Oh! Akaashi, hi!” you greeted with a warm smile. “At least I know I’m in the right place now.”

“Right place…?” he mumbled. It only took a second before he connected the dots. “You’re our new manager.”

“Yup. Now I just need the courage to go in.”

“I see… If it makes you feel better, you can come in with me. Or I could wait out here with you.”

“You’re always such a gentleman,” you gushed. “But I don’t want to make you late or anything. I’ll go in with you now.”

Akaashi offered you a kind though nervous smile before holding the door for you. As soon as you set foot inside, the current managers were greeting you and waving you over. Akaashi was glad you weren’t still next to him when he made it to his teammates, all of which took to whooping and patting him on the back, offering their congratulations.

“It’s not like that,” Akaashi quickly quieted them, his face quickly turning red. “I just bumped into her outside the gym. She’s our new manager-in-training.”

“So did you not give her the poem?” Bokuto asked with a pout, far more invested in this than he should have been, in Akaashi’s opinion.

“I put it in her locker just like I told you guys. And she read it.”

“But she doesn’t know it was you,” Washio sighed, understanding. “Well, now that you’ve gotten a feel for her reaction, are you going to tell her?”

Akaashi cleared his throat, averting his gaze to his bag. “I’m going to leave her another one. Now unless you guys want to keep interrogating me, I’m going to get changed.”

The team reluctantly dropped the subject and followed after him to the locker room. He made sure not to get distracted by you during practice, lest his friends seize the opportunity to tease him once more. In his head, however, he couldn’t stop thinking about that morning. How could you possibly not realize how wonderful you were? In fact, how had no one written you a love letter before?

He’d tell you he was your secret admirer as soon as you accepted you had one yourself. Of course, that’s not exactly how things went.

───── ⋆⋅♡⋅⋆ ─────

About two weeks later, Akaashi found himself alone in the gym with you. Bokuto had been there too, but he’d suddenly had to take off, making Akaashi think this was a set up. Alas, he wasn’t going to leave you to finish cleaning up by yourself, so here he was.

“Uh, how have you been?” you asked, breaking the somewhat awkward silence. “It’s been a while since we talked. Sorry about that.”

“No, uh, no need to apologize. I’ve been fine. You?”

“Mhm. Same.”

You lapsed back into silence as you rolled up the net, only to start speaking again at the same time. You both nervously laughed at that.

“You first,” you insisted.

“Ok, thanks.” He cleared his throat before continuing. “I’ve been meaning to ask you why you decided to be a manager. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, but weren’t you in the literary club?”

“Oh, yeah, I was. I decided it was time for a change of pace, though. And don’t get me wrong, I liked the literary club! But I already do enough reading and writing for school, you know?”

“I understand that. That last essay was rough.”

“Ugh, I know. It wasn’t even the topic so much as the length.”

The ice broken, you plunged into a discussion of your classes. Though he managed to keep his countenance normal, Akaashi wanted to melt at every little adorable face and gesture you made. Eventually, the conversation branched out to other things, too, but he found no good time to bring up the poems, much less confess he was the one who was writing them.

“You don’t have to carry my bag for me,” you insisted as you made ready to leave and he hoisted it on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t want to be a nuisance.”

“No worries. We’re heading the same way anyway. I don’t mind.”

“Oh. Ok then. Thank you; it’s really very kind.”

It was dark out by the time you reached your apartment. Akaashi carefully slid your bag off his arm and handed it to you. “Here you go.”

“Thanks. And thanks for walking me home, too.”

“Of course. Like I said, no big deal; it was on my way.”

“Well, still thanks. See you tomorrow!”

“See you then.” He was about to leave when he called back to you, remembering something. “Wait! What were you going to say earlier? When we were rolling up the net?”

You subconsciously set your hand on your bag. “Oh, uh, it was nothing important. Don’t worry about it.”

“Alright.” Akaashi shuffled his feet, suddenly feeling very awkward again. “Night then.”

“Yeah. Night.”

───── ⋆⋅♡⋅⋆ ─────

Two months later, Akaashi had yet to confess, much to the chagrin of his teammates. Really, he was disappointed in himself too. It was just that you loved the poems so much, what if you were disappointed in the man behind them?

At least the two of you had gotten closer. Most nights he even got to walk you home. It was on one such night that his heart shattered into a thousand fractals.

“Can I ask you something?” you questioned. “It may be kind of embarrassing though, haha.”

“No judgment here.”

“Seriously? You judge Bokuto-san all the time!” you laughed.

“Yeah, well that’s different. He deserves it—gotta knock him down a peg somehow.” Despite the words, Akaashi let out an affectionate chuckle thinking of his best friend. “But I’d never… judge you. Go for it.”

You sighed. “Ok. Well, uh, you know Kobayashi?”

“From our class, right?” He waited for you to nod. “Yeah, I’ve worked with him on a few projects before.”

“Oh, good. I was just wondering if you think he’s… poetic.”

Akaashi didn’t like where this was going. “Poetic, why?”

“Just answer and then I promise I’ll tell you.”

“As much as the next guy, I guess. Though, I don’t know if I’m really in a position to say.”

“Hmm, thanks for the input. It’s just… Well, you probably know since your locker is right next to mine.” You paused to chuckle sheepishly. “But I’ve been getting love poems for two—almost three months. I think he might be leaving them.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. “That’s, uh… Wow. Is there a reason for that… Or just wishful thinking? Or- Sorry, I’m probably being rude..

“No, no! Really, it’s totally fine.” You shoved your hands in your pockets so you’d stop wringing them. “I never even thought of him that way before, honestly. But the poem I got today mentioned the sunset, and then he was talking to me about how pretty the sunset looked last night. So I thought he might be dropping clues.

Akaashi gulped. What an unfortunate coincidence. He was just glad you were approaching your door so he could run home and hide in his room, stewing in disappointment and existential dread for a while.

“Are you going to ask him out,” he ventured.

You kicked a rock with your shoe and looked away, flustered. “I might.”

He mentally cursed himself as tears began stinging the back of his eyes. “Good luck then. He’d be crazy to turn you down.”

“Thanks. Um, but, Akaashi, are you alright? You’ve seemed kind of off the whole walk.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a lot of homework to do and nationals coming up and all, you know. Just stress, I suppose. Thank you for caring, though.”

You set your hand on his arm, setting his stomach into a fit of somersaults. His heart was too pained to flutter, though.

“Anytime.” You looked pointedly into his eyes. “You’re a good friend. I’m here whenever you need me.”

“Thanks,” he managed to whisper.

“I guess I’ll let you go get to that homework,” you sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to open up about what was bothering him. “See you in the morning.”

“See you.”

The conversation played over in his head all night; he didn’t get much sleep. He’d ended up texting Bokuto what was essentially a transcript of the whole interaction. On the one hand, he felt better after talking to his friend about it. On the other, he hated how right Bokuto was about how easy a fix this was: Just confess! But it seemed like you were happy about the idea of it being Kobayashi. And, really, that was the important thing. Akaashi just wanted you to be happy.

It was with this unpleasant idea in his head that he trudged into school the next morning and muddled through the day. He was quick to turn his head the other way when the last bell finally rang and he saw you with Kobayashi. Throughout practice, too, he tried to avoid looking at you. At one point, his eyes drifted to you, only to find your gaze on him, a frown on your lips. That was certainly not the expression he was expecting.

“Maybe you still have a chance!” Bokuto told Akaashi out of earshot from you.

“Maybe. But we probably won’t talk about it since you’ll be walking with us.”

“And who said I was?”

“Bokuto,” Akaashi began with a warning tone before the captain bolted out of the gym.

“See everyone tomorrow,” he called, making a beeline for the door.

Akaashi would have given chase, but his teammates were in his way. Sometimes he really regretted telling them about the situation.

Per usual, you and Akaashi set off on your path home together. A silence fell between you, not exactly awkward but not exactly comfortable either. Just silent. Maybe pensive was the right word.

“Remember that thing we talked about yesterday?” you finally asked.

“About the love letters? Of course… How did it go?”

“It wasn’t him.”

Akaashi stopped in his tracks. “I thought you were just going to ask him out without checking!”

You chuckled. “That would be awfully silly of me, wouldn’t it? Like some TV cliche. Sure, it seemed like it was him, but he was clueless about it.”

“Oh. I see. I’m sorry.”

“Thanks, but really it’s alright. It would have been nice if it was him—not because it was him, just so I would know. But it’s not like I hoped it was him. The guy that I was hoping it was… Well, and I think he would have said something by now.”

Oh, so you did have a crush, after all. “It’s like I said last night; he’d be crazy not to like you. Anyone would be.”

You couldn’t control your laughter as it bubbled from your lips. Akaashi looked on, confused.

“I really mean it, you know,” he insisted.

“I know, I know. And you’re very sweet. But- Ah, how do I say this? You’re calling yourself crazy.”

He raised an eyebrow, not daring to hope. “Pardon?”

Your laughter finally subsided, and you wiped some tears out of your eyes, meeting his perplexed gaze with nothing but earnestness. “I was hoping it was you. But you haven’t confessed by now, so-”

“Your laugh is an ocean breeze

Sending pleasant chills down my spine.

Yet it holds nothing but honeysuckle

And the sweet fruits of the earth.

Your smile is like the sunset

My day turning to night

Should the corners fall

But beautiful even if fleeting.”

You stared at him, stunned. “But- You- And you didn’t- So I- What?!” you sputtered.

Akaashi scratched at the back of his neck. “I was worried that you’d be disappointed, I guess.”

“Disappointed? By you? Wow, you really are crazy,” you teased, taking his hand. You spoke softly now. “I’m not. I’m really happy it’s you.”

He leaned his head against yours. “That’s all I wanted. For you to be happy.”

“There’s one more thing that would make me really happy. Do you know what that is?” Akaashi’s brain went into overdrive, trying to think of the answer. “Going on a date with you.”

If there were any words to get his heart racing, it was those. A slight smirk came to his lips as he thought of something. “Then let’s go on a date. But there’s another thing that would make me really happy, too. Do you know what that is?”

“…I don’t think so.”

His hands cupped your cheeks, tenderly. “Kissing you.”

Slowly, he leaned in and met your lips with his own. You responded with all the same hesitant passion, not quite believing it was real. Yet, despite how quick it was, both far too nervous to carry on any further, it etched itself in both your minds.

“Well,” Akaashi said, clearing his throat and taking a step back. “We better get you home in time for dinner.”

The mood was light as you traveled on, hands interlocked. After bidding you goodnight with another quick peck on the cheek, Akaashi hurried off to his own home where promptly flopped on the bed and recounted the exchange to Bokuto. He had to hold the phone away from his ear as his friend cheered for him.

Soon after, the setter updated the rest of the team via their group chat, wanting to get them off his back. They responded much the same way his best friend did, with many congratulations and friendly teasing.

Once everyone had settled down, Akaashi took a seat at his desk. There was still some homework to finish, but taking a pen and a fresh sheet of paper, there was one more thing he had to do.

───── ⋆⋅♡⋅⋆ ─────

Lips so soft and sweet

I can’t wait until we next meet.

Though it’s cliche, you’re my sun

Truly, for me, the only one.

I’ll tell you I love you every day

For it’s my favorite thing to say.

I hope you’ll see this all is true

No one is as wonderful as you.

You smiled at the poem you found in your locker that morning. Last night, you supposed that with that confession, you’d receive such sweet poems no longer. Suffice it to say, you were quite glad Akaashi was going to continue with it. But this time there was something there at the end that never had been before, something that caused an extra little flutter of your heart.

Love,

Your not so secret admirer

[talesofarcadia78]

Our Time || One shot

Summary: Douxie’s remembering the good old times. 

Warnings: angst, mention of character death, that's it I think?

Word count: 1,735

Everything was set. The lanterns were hung up on the trees nearby, providing light to Douxie for the night. The campfire was crackling just a couple of feet away from the round dining table and chairs that Douxie had set up not too long ago. The plates were also ready on the table, waiting to be filled with food.

Douxie magicked up a bouquet of roses, and placed them in the vase that was in the middle of the table.

Suddenly, he heard a twig snap behind him. He quickly spun around, staff and bracelet ready, only to see Archie looking up at him in his cat form.

"You seriously thought that I was danger?" Archie questioned with an eyebrow raised.

Douxie magicked his staff away and deactivated his bracelet, "Hehe… yes."

Archie rolled his eyes at his familiar's response, "Do you not remember that you put a ward around this whole area?"

Douxie just shrugged and went back to doing last minute preparations.

After a few minutes of silence, Archie cleared his throat to gain Douxie's attention.

"Yes, Arch?" Douxie asked, turning his gaze to the cat.

Archie pointed to the two figures in the distance heading towards them.

Douxie's eyes widened at how time flew by quickly. He didn't even have time to get changed!

He quickly got behind a tree and used a spell he had recently learned, and changed into a black dress shirt (sleeves rolled up of course), black pants and shoes, keeping his signature skull necklace.

He stepped out from the tree to see Archie fly away. His eyes wandered around until they landed on both you and Jim getting closer. You were wearing a stunning black A-line lace dress that went down to your knees with half laced sleeves and beige heels.

You were blindfolded as Douxie had requested Jim to do to you so you had a surprise.

Douxie could hear you complain to Jim how you didn't like being blindfolded. Jim just rolled his eyes at your antics and told you that all would be revealed in a matter of moments.

Douxie walked up to you two siblings and took you from Jim.

"Thank you, Jim. I'll take her from here," Douxie smiled and took your shoulders.

"No problem, Doux! Tell me the end result!" Jim waved and walked off.

"Douxie, where in the world am I?" you asked.

"Shhh. Be patient, love. All will be revealed," Douxie reassured.

After a few moments, the blindfold on your eyes was taken off.

You took in your surroundings. The trees were decorated with lanterns, a dining table was set and a campfire was already lit. Everything was beautiful.

You spun around to see Douxie holding out a rose for you to take, which you, without a doubt, accepted.

"Shall we, m'lady?" Douxie inquired, holding his arm out.

You nodded and you let him take you to the table.

~~~~~

Douxie had prepared f/f for dinner, and for dessert, an apple pie.

Now, the two of you were quietly sitting on a blanket at the campfire, leaning on each other.

"Love?" Douxie asked.

You hummed in response, letting him know he had your attention.

"Remember the first time we met? I had spilled a drink on the ground in the cafe and you rushed to help," Douxie remembered.

"Yeah," you nodded, memories flooding back.

~~~~~

You anxiously tapped your feet on the ground, waiting for your order to arrive.

You were in a big rush.

Mom had called to tell you that Jim was in the hospital. You knew that he was the Trollhunter, so he had gotten a lot of injuries, though, he didn't need to go to the hospital to get them treated, so you knew that this was serious.

Abruptly, you heard a crash from behind you. You turned around to see a drink had spilled all over the floor. The waiter was already on his knees, trying to clean it up.

You got up from your seat and ran over to help him. You kneeled in front of the guy to hear him faintly say, "Fuzzbuckets". You saw a faint sky blue spark come from his hand.

A wizard.

You placed a hand on his arm, making him look up into your e/c eyes. You mouthed ‘no’ and shook your head, telling him not to perform the spell. He stopped and sighed before cleaning up the mess the old fashioned way with your help.

After helping him, you returned to your seat.

Just when you were about to leave, getting fed up of the wait, the same waiter you had helped rushed up to you, order in hand.

"Hey! You were the one who helped me with the spill a couple of minutes ago, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," you nodded and then added quietly, "And the one who stopped you from using magic as a shortcut."

You smiled and took your order from him. You headed out but got stopped by the same guy.

"Hey, I never got your name. I'm Hisirdoux Casperan, but you can call me Douxie," Douxie winked and held out his hand for a handshake.

"Y/n, Y/n Lake," you replied, shaking his hand. "I'm really sorry, but I really need to go."

He nodded understandingly and waved goodbye.

As you walked to the hospital, you opened the bag that had your food in it, as well as a note. You took it out and read it:

Hey, stranger, who I probably got the name of!

I was wondering if you would grab a bite with me tomorrow at the cafe. 4 pm sharp.

Don't be late.

Yours truly,

Hisirdoux Casperan.

You smiled. You had finally found a fellow magic wielder.

~~~~~

"Then, the time when Jim got a bit overprotective of you when you were at the bookstore."

"A bit?"

"Okay, extremely overprotective of you."

~~~~~

The sun was shining high in the sky, your hair moving along with the gentle breeze, and a nice cup of coffee in your hands while you and Jim made your way to GDT Arcane Books.

Jim opened the door to reveal Archie, Douxie's familiar lying on the ground near the fireplace.

"Hey, Archie!" you greeted.

"Hello," Archie called.

You turned your attention away from the cat and to Jim, who was looking around in suspicion.

"Jim, what is it now?" you asked, placing your hand on your brother's shoulder.

"It's just… why does this store seem so… magical?" Jim inquired.

"Because a magical being owns the bookstore," you replied.

Jim nodded in response.

"Hello!" a new voice spoke.

You turned around to see Douxie coming out of the back. From the corner of your eye, you saw Jim's gaze harden at the sight of the wizard. He pulled you a bit closer to him.

Overprotective brother mode switched on.

"Hey, Doux. Did you call us in for some help?" you inquired.

"Yep! There's only so much a 900 year old wizard can do by himself," Douxie nodded.

Douxie told you and Jim what he needed help with.

Jim was sent off to get some supplies from around town, to his dismay. He wanted to keep an eye on you and Douxie, but alas, he had to go shopping.

Before Jim had left, you heard him send a death threat to Douxie.

"Don't do anything funny with my sister, Casperan. I won't hesitate to slice your head off with Daylight."

Your eyes widened. You knew Jim didn't like Douxie, but you didn't know that he hated him so much to actually threatened him.

Geez. He's way too overprotective.

You made your way over to Douxie as soon as Jim left the store.

"Don't mind him. He's just overprotective," you told Douxie.

"Uh-huh," Douxie nodded slowly.

~~~~~

"We know each other so well, made so many wonderful memories, we've spent so much time together," Douxie sighed. "And I want to spend more time with you."

You turned your head towards him, silently asking him to elaborate.

Douxie moved away and got up. He lent you his hand, which you accepted and followed suit. He took a deep breath and got down on one knee.

"Y/n, love, we've been through so much together. Good and bad. Sad and happy. And I'll continue to. You made me the most happiest man when you became my girlfriend and I thought I couldn't be any happier. But today may prove me wrong," Douxie expressed.

You gasped and clasped your hand over your mouth as Douxie took out a golden ring with embroidery and held it out.

"Y/n Lake… make me the happiest man in the world. Will you marry me?"

You had tears in your eyes at this point. Douxie looked at you with hope, love, admiration, and so much more as he waited for your answer.

"Yes."

Douxie's eyes lit up like a child on Christmas morning, and quickly got up. He grabbed your waist and brought you close. He leaned down and softly kissed you as he slipped the ring onto your finger.

~~~~~

Douxie stared at the photo of you two on your wedding day. You were wearing a short lace white dress and beige ankle strap heels and Douxie was wearing a white dress shirt, black tuxedo, black tie, black pants and a rose attached on the left as you two stood in front of each other, hand in hand while Douxie was kissing your forehead.

Douxie placed the photo back and glanced down at his wedding ring. It was simple, a silver band with swirl embroidery as you had the same, but gold. He remembered the feeling of your hand in his. Your giggling. Everything. But alas, ever since you had passed in battle, he couldn't seem to bring any of those memories back.

Tears formed in Douxie's eyes as he remembered the good times.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal Jim and Claire.

"Hey, Teach. What were you--" Claire started before she noticed the tears streaming down his face.

Douxie wasn't going to cry but as soon as he saw the wedded couple, he couldn't help himself.

Jim and Claire rushed over to Douxie and enveloped the wizard in a hug, attempting to comfort him. He sobbed into Jim's chest as Jim ran his hand through his hair and Claire rubbing Douxie's back.

Nothing was going to be the same without you.

[suck-on-a-fire-ball]

An envelope with the seal of the Inquisition arrives, the stamp perfectly in the middle. The following letter is in fine condition, it's only flaws in where the letter has been creased from folds and the occasional smudge. The letter is well-written, but look almost as if the writing instrument was too small for the writer's hand. It reads:

Dear Anders,

I grew up a few days away from Kirkwall, safe in a remote village that had very little Templar policing. Granted, very few wanted ask my mother Hissera, an ex-Arvaarad, if her little girl or husband were apostates. My father, Kost, often told me of what it was like for him living as a Sarebaas under the Qun. He was told it was similar in Circles, but I was luckily able to avoid that personal torture.

Thus, I am writing this letter to thank you for your contribution to the struggle for mage rights. I have gotten in trouble with others many times for calling you Anders the Just, but I am obstinate.

I also wanted to ask you a few questions, if you've a mind to. Does Justice really exist, and if so, is he as conscious as he seems? What was it like to be in a Circle? What was your experience as a Warden? I'm sure these are questions you have answered before, but alas Master Tethras seems to not want to give me a straight answer.

Thank you for everything.

Best,

Lady Inquisitor Amaara Adaar

(Information on Amaara here and here.)

Varric knocks on the door to Inquisitor Amaara Adaar’s chambers, sneaking inside just in time before a soldier can notice. He places a letter on her desk but says nothing, only giving her a meaningful look, perhaps a little displeased or worried about something... The letter is worn from its travel, and has no information on who it is for or from… How Varric got ahold of it, he remains silent about. The writing is mismatched; sometimes it’s small, sometimes it’s bigger, sometimes it’s frantic, and sometimes it’s thoughtful and calm. The words switch from formal to informal… and… there are signs someone might have tried to wipe away a tear.

Dear Lady Inquisitor Amaara Adaar,

I, Anders, received your letter not too long ago and was instantly surprised once I opened it. You see, the only letters I receive are ones from Varric and our friends. To know that somehow you have managed to impress Varric enough that this was allowed to come through to me (my, he truly is quite overprotective, don’t you think?) truly makes me curious about you. It also tells me you are a good person. Varric has a way of finding good people, even if those good people sometimes end up doing… stupid things.

I have to admit that the emotions I felt reading your letter were quite… intense. I think they were positive ones, though, so that is at least something! It’s not always that I feel anything positive as of late.

Anders the Just? I highly doubt I am allowed such an honourable title, my lady! (Nor do I believe Varric deserves the title of ‘master’ – did he make you say that? Don��t let him pull your leg! He loves jokes too much sometimes).

Being on the run sometimes means I do not see the full picture of the consequences of my actions. All I experience are my own thoughts, which are centred on the lives I have taken… and the many more this war itself has taken. Despite the guilt… I would do it again.

That, however, is not what you asked of me. You, a friend of Varric, and an honourable leader, is curious about me – and oh did I chuckle in disbelief reading such a thing. Did I not hear you have a mage from Tevinter there? If I were you, I would adore listening to stories about a place where magic is revered much more than about a man (me) dressed in ragged clothes having done nothing no one else would have done eventually too.

Let’s get into your questions then, shall we?

Does Justice really exist, and if so, is he as conscious as he seems? – Yes. It is difficult to explain in words because in all honesty, I do not think there are any words in any language to describe this phenomenon since it does not happen to everyday people. Have you ever had a voice in your head speak so clearly to you that you find yourself reacting to the thought as if someone had said it to you in real life? Perhaps you even chuckled, replied or nodded your head along to the thought. It is like that but with no control over the voice(s). He is equally as conscious as I am, sometimes more conscious than me as he doesn’t require sleep nor does he require my eyes to sense our surroundings. One time in Kirkwall I caught a candy Hawke tossed my way without turning to look at it – that was Justice in his… more innocent form. But do not think us separate. If you throw a log on a fire, the fire grows but neither can live without the other without being… something completely different, or dead.

Ah, it is difficult to explain. I’ve tried my best though.

What was it like to be in a Circle? – I appreciate you have not experienced this phenomenon, and I could not be more happy and relieved for you. Speaking of it hurts, and so I will be brief to give you an insight into the mage plight, and the sole reason for why our freedom is so important… It is like being locked in a cage with no way to look outside, your hands and feet tied, the key tossed away never to be found again, and with every move you make, the cage grows smaller as they try and repressed you until you stop moving, stop existing, and forget what life is like.

What was your experience as a Warden? – Now this, at first, was someone finding the key and offering me a hand out of the cage. So at first, my experience with the Wardens was great, and the Warden Commander taught me how to be a person. They even taught me how to mend a hole in my trousers that had been there for longer than I feel should admit (and I then proceeded to simply do it with magic instead; I wasn’t a very good student back then…). Our task was dealing with the aftermath of the Blight, which concerned speaking Darkspawn, feuding… ‘families’ within the Darkspawn, and very annoyed nobles (though the latter is usually part of any matter in Thedas, they put their noses in businesses they have no right to if you ask me – I’m sure you’ve noticed by now as well).

During my time as a Warden, I also met Justice and although we do not see eye to eye on everything nowadays, it was worse back then. We bickered a lot but alongside of that we also bonded. He became a close friend. Everyone became a close friend. That was, in my opinion, the best part of being a Warden; bonding with the others and becoming a little, tightknit community closely resembling a family. That community changed, though, when the Warden Commander disappeared. The duties of a Warden started to feel like a cage again and I wanted to find something that made me happy. This ultimately drove me to Kirkwall.

I hope I have answered… somewhat logically? Lately I find my thoughts get scrambled often; a side effect of having few people to talk with, I believe. Once I have an outlet for my thoughts, everything comes out at the same time. I apologize if that happened.

Nevertheless… I do think Varric has established a communication now, and so, if you ever find yourself in need of help or wish to ask more questions, use Varric to send me more! If he doesn’t want to (he is quite overprotective, don’t you think?), show him these words:

Just bloody do it, Varric. There’s no harm in one extra person talking to me.

Before I end this letter… let me extend my sincerest gratitude for offering me a positive insight into what the consequences of my actions were. There are days where the guilt eats away at me and to hear that one of our own sits on the throne of an organisation that is fighting to help save all of Thedas… it will mean a lot to the image of mages in Thedas. You are already doing more than I ever could. Keep fighting.

Take care of your health, Stay safe from demons, And watch the skies for dragons, Anders

[yungbud]

pregnancy kink. anything. there doesnt have to actually be a pregnancy, just like, the idea of him fucking and coming inside you, the idea that you COULD get pregnant, could carry his baby. the dirtier and filthier the better. i will pay.

Oh, Baby X

Word count: 2.4k

Tw:Breeding kink, light smacking, choking, claiming, smut obviously, drinking, cum fetish. Just, I mean, filth. A lil fluff at the beginning tho aww :))

A/n:I’ve been in such a writing stump but damn, money is one hell of a motivator. Please don’t feel obligated to pay me tho, but if you CAN ok and you are safe and aren’t going to starve >:( my cashapp is $Honeybungun1. I appreciate it if you do, I still love you dearly if you don’t. Also! If this is your thing, I recommend britishfilth, here’s an audio porn he did that was along these lines :)

---

It’s Valentine’s day, well, valentines night you suppose, and both you and Dom had just gotten back from a romantic picnic on a mountain overlooking the city. You watched the sunset while you ate your favorite food, he even sung to you a bit. You never we much of a fan when it came to Valentines day, finding it cheesy and overdone

“You should love and cherish your significant other everyday, if you need a reminder you’re a prick.”

“Awh come on love, it’s sweet, like chocolate.” Dom would always argue. He always had a way of convincing you to do things, and you definitely didn’t regret it. Despite your feelings towards the holiday you actually had a lot of fun finding some time to set apart and spend with the love of your life. 

You’d dragged the outing past sunset and into the night, neither of you wanting it to ever have to end.

But alas, it did, and now you were home. 

This wasn’t so bad either, you thought, sat in front of the fireplace. You heard the clinking of wine glasses from the other room as Dom returned, taking a seat next to you.

“What's that?” You ask, glancing down at the liquid that filled the glass. It was red and shiny like silk, beautiful, but not wine. 

“It’s wine,” He confirmed “it’s called something weird, like starry sky wine. Pretty isn’t it?”

“Yeah, wow, it looks like a potion.”

“Mmh, love potion.” 

“Don’t need it.” You break the short distance between the two of you to place a kiss on his plump lips, pulling away but never straying far, a smile spread across your lips.

“Still,” pausing once more to place a peck to your soft lips “makes me feel all fancy.” He mused, striking a pose with his glass of glamourous alcohol. You both laughed quietly, the room falling into a comfortable silence while you stared lovingly at each other. Dom broke eye contact to glance thoughtfully down at his glass, only looking back up when he was ready to speak.

“I’ve been thinkin’, yenno,” You hum a tone of encouragement, his gaze shifting to your lips “I think you’d make a great mom.” Your eyebrows lifted at this, amusement pulling across your face. You never quite saw yourself as the motherly type, you were surprised Dom did.

“I’m serious, I think you’d be great.” Dom says, moving a piece of hair out of your face 

“Plus,” He added, leaning in to whisper in your ear “I’d love to help you make it.” You smiled at this, finally seeing where he was going.

“It does take two.” You commented, taking a small sip of your wine, still wondering how they managed to make it look this good. The fruity aroma filled your lungs as you lifted the glass up to your mouth once again, taking a small distracted sip. You weren’t as concerned with getting drunk as you were with concealing the sly smile that was sure to come across your face.

Dom’s tongue shot out to lick quickly across his bottom lips, his hand coming up to wipe down the bottom of his face as he mulled over what to say next.

“Well, we’ve got the wine, we’ve got the fire, what are we waiting for?” You shook your head, your hand coming up to rest on his cheek as you pulled his lips onto yours.

You only remembered to set your wine on the coffee table when Dom attempted to remove your shirt, almost spilling it everywhere. There was a collective sigh of relief before you placed it down, Dom moving quickly from your shirt to your bra.

“Look so fookin good for me tonight.” He moaned, his lips coming up to place hot kisses on your neck 

“Well, take it in, if we’re actually going to do this you’ll never see it like this again.” You say, taking a look down at your own body. Dom shook his head almost frantically, a look of distress evident in his features.

“No, no, no, love. Only thing that could make you look any better is if I knew my baby was in there.” He assured you, placing light kisses to your stomach.

“All that’s in there right now is a food baby, bub.”

“Well then, let's change that.” Dom says, smirking the whole way back to your lips. You worked on removing his pants while he worked on removing yours before you both decided to switch and take off your own. You couldn’t wipe the smiles off your face as you undressed yourselves, the perfect end to the perfect night.

Your lips clashed in a harsh kiss, breathing in each other like it was the last breaths you’d ever take. Your tongues wrestled for dominance, the kiss becoming hotter and messier by the second. It was clear how desperate you were for one another.

Dom’s smirking lips made their way back down your body, slowly becoming more open mouthed and wet the lower he got. By the time he reached your navel his tongue was out and swirling against your warm skin, sucking it into his mouth and nibbling lightly. 

Dom spread your legs, leaving them propped up on either side of his head, taking his time kissing up one leg, his tongue sliding lightly against your skin.

Kiss

Kiss

Kiss

 and back down, 

Kiss

Kiss

Kiss

then doing the same to the other.

Kiss

Kiss

Kiss

You knew he would tease, he couldn’t help himself, but you also knew better than to beg. Begging would only make him take longer, he loved hearing you beg for him. Begging never did much for you, only ever feeding his ego. 

So you remained silent, trying to maintain your breathing as he painstakingly slow

Kissed

Kissed

Kissed

“Good girl.” Dom praised, hooking a finger into your panties and pulling them down your thigh. He took a deep breath, inhaling your scent, before diving in. Soft moans slid past your lips at his tongue licking hungrily at you, determined to get every last bit.

“Please, more.” Your hips instinctively jutted along with his actions, but his arm came quickly to rest on top of your hips.

“You’ll take what I give you, slut.” He says, placing a firm smack to your inner thigh before continuing his actions. Dom’s arm remained tightly on you, pinning your hips to the couch, making sure that you would sit there and take every bit of pleasure he gave you. Your hips jutted when he would focus on your clit, but ultimately they would go nowhere. Dom made sure of it.

His fingers came up to your hole, pushing one of his digits in slowly, his tongue coming up to lap at your clit. Dom loved to use tongue when he gave head, he loved tasting every part of you, especially on a night like tonight. A night where you would become one in creation of another, he loved feeling so connected with you. 

 “Hm, it’s more likely that it’ll take if you’re turned on, so I’m gonna need you to come for me.” Dom says, it was posed as an offer, but clear that it was a demand. You dug your fingers into the couch cushions beside you, your hips moving along with his tongue as you tried your best to get yourself off. You could feel your orgasm building in the pit of your stomach

Building 

And building

And building until,

“Oh god, oh my fucking god, please!” You shout, your orgasm washing over you. Your toes curled down my Dom’s head, your legs spasming a bit as he milked you from your core, licking up every last bit of you.

When Dom came back up his face was soaking wet with your juices, he had never looked better in your opinion. He didn’t bother to wipe his mouth, hastily connecting his lips with your own, letting you taste yourself, a mixture of you and the wine he’d been drinking on his tongue. 

It was heavenly.

Dom took a moment to catch his breath, giving himself a few languid strokes, making a show of it with his head leant back in bliss, before lining himself up with your hole.

“Stop teasing.” You whine, a pitiful pout adorning your face.

“You have to ask nicely.” He says, making sure to maintain eye contact with you.

“Please.” You whisper, to which Dom gives you a look 

“I’m gonna need more than that, princess.”

“Please, daddy. Please fuck me, I need it. I want you to come inside me, I wanna be your good little girl, I-” Your whines are cut short by Dom pushing into you, a string of moans overtaking your sentence as he begins thrusting into you. His skin smacks against your harshly, the sound filling the room. It took a moment for him to find his rhythm, his finger on your clit and his hips pounding ruthlessly into you, but when he did, he leaned down to whisper in your ear.

“I can’t wait to get you pregnant, princess, can’t wait for everyone to know you’re mine. That you’re daddy’s little cum slut. That’s what you are, isn’t it? Daddy’s dirty little cum dump. You gonna give daddy a baby, huh?”

“Yes daddy.” You moan

“Mmh, you better. Cause if you don’t you know what I’ll do?”

“No.” You whimper, your gaze meeting his own as his hand came up to wrap around your neck.

“I’m gonna do it again, and again, and again,” Dom says, thrusting hard with each repetition, sure to leave marks for tomorrow “until it takes, and daddy’s little cum slut gives him a baby.”

“Yes daddy.” You say, although it wasn’t much of an order, or a question. Your mind was so clouded with lust you could barely think, the thought of Dom’s hot cum inside you, draining his balls into your wet pussy. The thought of it dripping out and him fingering it back into you, making sure you take every last bit. The thought of a baby growing inside you, showing everyone that you were completely, undeniably his.

“Beg me. Tell me you want that sexy tummy full of this hot cum”

“Please daddy, please give it to me, I want your cum.”

“Yeah, you want it? And what if I do, hm? What if I do cum inside this pretty pussy, hm? No protection, no birth control, nothing. Daddy’s cum is going right into that fertile little fucking womb.” He groans, wrapping his hand tighter around your throat. 

“Yes, god, please.”

“Daddy’s got so much cum for you, reach down and feel daddys ball sack. You feel that? That’s all for you princess, such a good girl for me tonight. So patient and obedient, so fucking good for me. It’s all going inside that tight little pussy.”

“Please.” 

“Please what?”

“Please let me cum.” You whimper

“Again? You greedy little whore. Why should I, hm? You already came once, daddy hasn’t cum yet. Why should daddy let a greedy little cum slut like you cum twice in one night?” 

“I’ll do anything, anything. Please daddy.” You whined, your voice being strained a bit by his grip on your throat. 

“No.” He states firmly, staring down at you falling apart beneath him. Before you knew it your second orgasm hit you like a brick, strained squeals coming out of your throat. His actions stopped momentarily, not allowing you to ride out your orgasm.

“Did you just fucking cum after I told you not to?” He asks

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I couldn’t help it. It just felt so good daddy, please.” You plead

“Who owns this pussy?” He asks, his thrusts starting up once again.

“You.”

“Tell me again, who owns this pussy?”

“You do. Daddy does.”

“Daddy what?”

“Daddy owns my pussy.”

“Exactly, and when daddy tells you not to do something you don’t do it, disobedient little slut.” He says, his hand coming down against your thigh. Although he was scolding you, you ignoring his demands only egged him on more. You could tell he was close by the way his thrusts became sloppy and desperate, half threats being muttered under his breath as he slowly approached his orgasm, unloading himself in you with a series of groans. 

“Now, daddys going to cum inside you and you’re going to” he paused to groan through gritted teeth “Take it. Fucking take it.” He moans through gritted teeth, his grip on your throat loosening as he comes down from his high. 

Dom pulls out, admiring the mess he had made inside you, his fingers coming up to push the cum that had dripped out back in.

“Stay here, don’t let it drip out.” He says, adjusting you so your legs are propped up into the air. You followed orders, remaining like that until he returned, although uncomfortable you knew better than to disobey him.

“There we go, make sure not a drop slips out. Make sure you take all my hot fucking cum.” He says, placing the cum plug in your pussy,  guiding your legs back to the floor. Dom curled up beside you, laying on the couch, catching your breath and allowing your heartbeats to slow down from your orgasms. Doms fingers came up to tangle themselves in your hair, scratching lightly at your scalp. Your tired eyes closed, glad to finally have some rest after a long, albeit wonderful day.

“What if we really do have a kid?” Dom piped, breaking the silence.

“You’d be a good dad.” You reply, cuddling closer to him.

“They’ll be born in early November.”

“Hm, Autumn, that’s a cute name.”

“What zodiac sign is that?”

“Scorpio and Saggitarius.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I’m not sure,” You laughed, your eyebrows knitting together “all I’ve ever heard about sag’s are that they’re sad and horny.”

“Awh, I don’t wanna hear that about my baby. Here, let’s look it up.” Dom offers, reaching over to grab his phone from the floor. You spent the rest of the night wrapped up in eachothers arms talking about baby names and personalities and zodiac signs, getting up momentarily to stoke the fire. You couldn’t believe that something so dirty could shift into something so beautiful so quickly.

[dom--minnie]

Three’s a Party

Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.

Word count: 9.3k

Genre: fluff, smut, angst

Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations

Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​

a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila

Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 

You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 

"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 

Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 

"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."

Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 

"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 

"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."

Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.

You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 

Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 

"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."

Any stress you may have had is gone after that.

Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 

So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 

It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 

Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 

He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 

"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 

Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 

"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 

You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 

"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 

The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.

"Do you-"

"Chan." 

A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 

"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 

Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.

Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 

There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 

It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 

Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 

Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 

"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 

You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 

"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 

You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.

"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 

You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 

A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 

"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 

"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."

Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 

"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"

You and Felix easily speak in unison.

"Praise and hands."

The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.

Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 

"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"

The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 

"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."

When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 

"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 

You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 

"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”

"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 

You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 

"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."

Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.

It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 

"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 

You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 

"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."

You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 

You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 

"See you later, daddy." You wink.

Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.

The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 

He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 

To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 

Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 

“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.

“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”

Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 

“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”

Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 

“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 

“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”

Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 

“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.

“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.

“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 

Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 

“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”

Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.

“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”

Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.

“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 

Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 

“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”

This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.

“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”

Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 

“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”

“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”

Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.

The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 

Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 

"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."

Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."

You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 

"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 

The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 

"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 

The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.

The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 

It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 

They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 

It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 

Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 

You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 

"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 

He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 

"Yes." He says with false ease. 

You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 

Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 

"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 

"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 

You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 

"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 

Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 

The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 

Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 

He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 

When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 

"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 

He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 

"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 

Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 

Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 

Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 

When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 

It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 

Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.

“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 

Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 

Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 

Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 

“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 

You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 

All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 

Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 

With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.

“Felix, stop.”

Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 

“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 

You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.

“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.

Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 

Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.

“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 

You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 

Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 

Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 

With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 

The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 

Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.

“Daddy, please!” 

He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 

“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”

He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 

“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”

Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 

“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”

Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 

“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”

Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 

“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 

After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 

“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 

You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 

It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.

“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”

You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 

At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 

“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 

All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 

“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”

Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 

Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.

“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”

You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 

Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 

The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 

Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 

He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 

“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 

Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 

Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.

“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 

The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.

“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 

You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 

You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 

“Does he feel good, kitty?” 

“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 

“Ride him then, doll.” 

The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 

“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”

You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 

Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 

“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 

His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 

“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 

The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 

When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.

“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”

Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.

“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”

Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 

“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 

Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.

You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.

“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 

You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.

You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.

Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 

Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 

"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 

You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 

Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 

"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 

He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.

There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 

"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 

Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 

Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 

"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."

He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 

"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."

In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.

"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 

Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 

"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."

A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.

"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."

"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 

Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 

You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 

"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 

He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.

"It's ok." You say simply. 

Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 

"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 

You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 

"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 

The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 

"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 

Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 

Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 

Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 

"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 

Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 

"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.

Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 

"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.

Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.

"Yes. Please." 

You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 

Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 

You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 

“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”

He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.

“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 

You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 

"You're... This is ok?" 

You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 

"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.

Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 

"Thank you." He mumbles. 

"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.

Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 

[yandere-sins]

The Exception

My friend let me try playing Hades on her switch and well... I kinda liked it. Namely, I liked all the characters, so my brain went like “what if they were yandere” and I had an idea for this story that I threw together this morning before working on the Fox Wedding (: The latter isn’t done yet, but this sure is, so who knows, mayhaps some of you will enjoy it! Just tried to answer the question how we could get Thanatos to whisk us away.

Characters: Yandere!Thanatos x Reader Warnings: Yandere, Blood, War, Wounds/Impaling, Major Character Death (???) or well dying, I read into greek history for almost an hour but if I gotten something wrong then so be it

Thanatos had seen enough of the world to know that he didn't want to stay on the surface forever. 

The current battle spreading before him was a mere reason to sigh deeply as he watched bodies fall left and right, their souls soon leaving to a better, or perhaps worse, place. It was mandatory he stayed, but Thanatos was well aware of which side was winning and which was losing. It was his duty and his work to know these things, even though it didn't make the fighting any less futile in his eyes.

Letting his gaze wander over the battlefield, he watched the red splatters on the ground, heard the crushing sounds of iron against iron and the cacophony of fearful and devastating screams. He still couldn't believe Zagreus would want to come to such a place. A place where there was futile fighting and too much light, but perhaps, it was a world that fit the Prince of the Underworld, as he was the same, even if Thanatos only recognized this fact bitterly. 

Finally, the battle was closing in on its end, just like the hundreds of people that found their death because of it. The ones who weren't dead yet slowly but surely started to hesitate and retreat. Even as the personification of death, Thanatos reckoned that a pointless death was scary, even though so many humans chose it over desertion. Their death was inevitable, preordained by Thanatos sisters. Still, he had seen many hold on to the last sparks of hope that they could escape Thanatos' grasp. 

And then, on the other side of the coin, were those that practically would have offered their life to Hades and fought to the end.

You weren't an exception. Yes, your quest and pride were your downfall, and by the gleam in your eyes Thanatos could tell you knew. You knew and recognized that you'd die. However, as if you were spiting him personally, you still continued to fight ahead of everyone else, gaining questioning glances from your comrades and contempt from your enemies, which you pulled to the ground one after another and sending them to hell. 

Many before you had this overzealous compulsion to make that best out of their inevitable demise. Thanatos would admit that yes, most had a good reason for it, like saving their family or fighting for their own life. Others simply lucked out on the gift of pride and ignorance, forcing themselves and occasionally many more lives with them into the deep, dark pits of death. 

What was your reason? Thanatos wondered. 

He still had time before he needed to take action, he could allow himself a short - minuscule, really - different thought than his upcoming work, and you presented yourself so nicely to him as the incarnation of death waited for the end of today's battle. It wasn't often that he had the leisure to let his thoughts wander, so Thanatos intended to use these few seconds, which would fall under the radar, to still his curiosity.

By the looks of it, you weren't an inexperienced fighter. Or perhaps, you were just a farmer judging by your muscles. Surely, you seemed enthusiastic about your task, so were you fighting for something more significant than the glory of your country? Family? A loved one? Thanatos couldn't help but be curious about what your drive was, as he had seen so many reasons, yet they were all the same. Perhaps, yours was new?

Even so, you were graceful as you swung your sword around. What did he know about footwork, but at least, yours seemed to pay off as you weren't dead yet. When one of your foes managed to smack off your helmet, Thanatos believed that was it, but alas, you regained your strength, charging at the very same attacker. 

In a way, fighting was like an elaborate play. The only difference was that neither of the parties knew the other one's move. The person reacting better was the winner. He couldn't find joy in watching wars, but even Thanatos had to admit that it was a joy watching you. Even if you lacked the enthusiasm as the heroic shades that lingered below, like Theseus, had, you fought a fight worth mentioning in the books as well. 

Every move you made, Thanatos could see the calculations in your eyes, that keen shine reflecting in them. The sun seemed to break through the clouds just to reach out to you, making your armor sparkle in its rays. Yes, you were a formidable human, and Thanatos caught himself thinking that it was a shame you were fighting even if you looked so beautifully while doing it. 

Taking another deep breath, he could see the swirls in the air left by it. While the winter wasn't affecting him, no matter how little clothes he wore, Thanatos felt a second of pitiful understanding for everyone who had to fight in those conditions. Undoubtedly, the cold armors, freezing hands and weapons, and frozen ground were another nemesis for every soldier out here. Even if their bodies stayed warm from adrenaline and running, it certainly was another reason many of your human bodies gave out quicker, merely submitting to their fate. It was fair enough for Thanatos. It meant his work was over faster, and judging by you being circled and the other soldiers at your side beginning to see the end coming towards them with long spears and sharp swords, it was all over soon. 

You had fought bravely, that much he could give you. Perhaps you had impressed him enough to put in an unusual good word for you with Hypnos, who'd pass it on to Hades himself, granting you a shot on being put into Elysium. But your fate had long been decided, and as you fell to the ground, the battlefield erupted in victorious screams, announcing your time of death. 

And also, his start of work. 

As the winners retreated one after one, happy whenever they found a friend that survived too, Thanatos passed by them and onto the battlefield instead. Unseen by the human eye, he began his duty of reaping, one soul after the other, as mangled and frustrated over their death as they were, following his orders as he shushed them away. Usually, some pleaded and bargained with him for another shot of life, but even if Thanatos had wanted, there was no way for him to help them. But that day, everyone seemed awfully aware that there was no negotiating nor mercy waiting for them as they looked at his figure, frightened and frustrated. A pointless battle, with meaningless deaths, brought forth the self-pity in them, but this wasn't the first battle Thanatos tended to, so he felt nothing akin to that. It also wasn't his duty to take care of the souls gathered here, as it was Hermes' job to lead to them. 

He had something very different on his agenda. You. 

It was unfortunate for both of you, but when he reached you, you had yet to breathe your last breath. One eye slowly and in pain, opened, the other one damaged from the blow to the head you had received. However, as you looked at him, serene clarity laid in your gaze, and you recognized him, mayhaps by the giant scythe he carried around. Your stare was clear and less afraid than he expected you to be when acknowledging him, but you closed your eyes as a cough overcame you, hot, red blood dripping down your lips. 

"Guess that's it," you croaked, and Thanatos could only stare. Conversing… wasn't his strong suit, and there wasn't exactly a reason to talk to you.

"Are you going to kill me?" you continued, undeterred by his silence, and Thanatos weighed his actions. "No, of course not," he eventually spoke, shaking his head slowly, the hood on his head shifting along to his movement. 

"Ouch, that's cruel. You'll just wait until I die like this?" 

Your words were nothing he hadn't heard before, and he didn't feel offended by them. However, he didn't expect your lips to briefly curl into a smile, adding a jesting notion to what you said. Even that wasn't new, but… it struck a chord inside the usual stoic bringer of death. "I can't end your suffering," Thanatos explained, hoping you'd simply know about the unspoken rule that he couldn't harm you. 

"I think, I get it," you heaved, feeling worse by the minute. "You are just making sure I know I am supposed to die here."

That assumption wasn't wrong, even though there had been more playing into his service than just that. Too many kept trying to escape their fate, and sort of, Thanatos was just checking and cleaning up what would be left. You still had some time before your organs would fail and finally take you to the grave, different from the other souls that were already leaving for their new home. 

"No, you will die here," he retorted firmly. 

"I could," you chuckled, followed by another painful cough. 

"Don't test me, Mortal."

In between deep breaths, you allowed yourself a short laugh. Just like him, you were probably aware that there was nothing worse that could happen to your situation, so his threat was just a way he hoped to shut you up with. In silence, he watched over you, until eventually, your eye opened up again. This time your gaze was searching for him - or something really - but your sight had already begun to cloud. No matter how proud and achieved you are in life, in the face of death, everyone looked the same.

 "I think I did a good job. You know, fighting. Thought that if I already had to do it, I might as well give it my damn best."

More coughing. Thanatos watched the puddle of blood around you grow by the second. The spear inside your body must have been stirring up your insides the more you talked. Thanatos had expected something like this, you, young as you still were, had been led by the belief that doing your best could make up for the fact that you'd die. "But in the end, it was worth nothing, right? We lost after all."

Thanatos could only stare as he wondered what you expected him to say. He came here, knowing your life would end here, so really, the hope you had put into yourself didn't have the same disappointment to him now as it did to you. And yet, as he listened to you, seeing your body battered up with cuts and bruises, for the first time in centuries, he felt something akin to pity for you, and you specifically.

"Why did you fight then?" he asked, perhaps against your expectations. 

"Why? Because they told us too. The King ordered us to fight this battle, and only he could have known how many soldiers our opponent would bring."

"You could have run." Thanatos tried to stay as detached from you as possible, though it didn't quite work, your words taking their influence on him. "Can you?" you retorted before letting out a long sigh. Death was near, literally as well as figuratively. 

"Can you run from your duties? You don't have to do this either, do you?" 

"I do--"

"Really?"

There was no immediate response this time, your question justified, despite your little mortal soul undoubtedly never understanding the burdens on the shoulders of Gods. The world would stop if they all decided to not continue their work and fulfill their duties and expectations. If Thanatos stopped, no one would die anymore, and but the suffering of everything would never disappear too. 

"Dying sucks," you whispered, turning your head away. 

"I reckon," he muttered indifferently. Not like he could talk about it from experience. It must be painful, dreadful, and, depending on the circumstances, frustrating too. Right now, though he couldn't imagine the extent, you must have felt so hopeless and so, so scared. There wasn't much other reason for your banter.

"Thanatos… I always thought it was a pretty name, even if everyone feared it." Regaining his attention after finding himself momentarily lost in thoughts, he looked down at you again, watching as your eyelid closed slowly. "Say what you want, but you can't blame them for fearing death, and alas, me."

"Perhaps if they talked to you, they wouldn't be so afraid."

"Meaning you don't feel so afraid anymore?"

A smile danced over your lips once more, a truly unusual sight for a soul so close to their end, and especially after talking to him. Hypnos often teased Thanatos with being too formal and dutiful to be amusing, and Hades beware, comforting. Though he didn't care for his twin's words, yours did make him feel... happy. 

"Let's go then," you whispered, and Thanatos kneeled down, his hand falling to your wrist, listening to your pulse. Even with the feeling of your heart still desperately pumping blood through your body, only to lose it through your wounds, you didn't utter another word afterwards. You undoubtedly were dying, but perhaps, for now, you were merely unconscious as your lungs didn't stop reaching for air, and your heart used all your strength to function. 

Once more, the sun broke through the clouds, shining down right at you two, bringing Thanatos into the predicament of being blinded as it reflected off your armor. Perhaps he understood it now. Understood how unfair it was that someone like you, innocent and kind, was doomed to die out here. How awful his job on this day was, forcing him to take you to Tartarus and put you before the judgment of the god residing there. 

So what if... he didn't. 

He couldn't heal your wounds, nor make you feel better. But what he could do is battle the fate, earn the scorn of many, but at least, even if he took out the spear from your bloody body, you'd live. You'd live to tell your tale, and who knew, even he could apply some bandages, so maybe you'd recover some. 

It was a risk, and one Thanatos did not like taking, nor found pleasure in executing. But you couldn't refuse to come to this battle, whereas he, perhaps, after all these years, could refuse to do his job once. For your sake, and unbeknownst to him at that time, for his own even more.

His scythe disappeared in favor of Thanatos grabbing for the dreadful spear. Never before had he experience the kind of sound a wound could make from so close, and by the gods, he hoped he never would again. It was just your luck that you were unconscious, or the pain would have perhaps killed you faster than your wounds.

Leaning down, he scooped you up, his hand sullied with your blood and the dirt on the ground. The snow wasn't cold when he touched it, but your body was warm in his arms and still alive. Your threat of fade wasn't cut yet, and he wouldn't do it. With you in his arms, he stepped back, looking into your sleeping face before he retreated from the battlefield with a quiet, "Let's go."

No, the surface wasn't a place Thanatos liked to linger. It was too loud, too wrong, and too bright. But to see your smile, lively and happy, one more time, he didn't need to stay above ground. Where you were going, it was dark and, at times, lonely if you weren't a being born there. But you'd also be safe and alive for as long as you wished to.

And Thanatos would be with you, even if everyone would turn against him and his decision, for all eternity if he must.

[za-baransu]

 MEME || @biskael​ ♡

     An assignment just like all the others, one would assume: to go out and find a rogue group of Quincy, rejecting the offer of joining their Majesty's kingdom, prompting for them to overtake the area by sheer force - and if the negotiations would be of no fruitful outcome? The swift eradication of any possible targets left in sight. It was not unfathomable to send them out as a duo with a battalion to deal with these little run-ins. Was not unexpected of his Majesty to pair them up for the sheer force they make together, needless to say, over time, he had gotten used to it. 

    Used to the way Quilge behaved, spoke, would announce his presence and minded it not at all [ not in the ways he would with any other of rank and file ]. 

    Alas, today had been exceptionally unproductive for their usual high standards in their orders to be fulfilled [ something he would need to talk to His Majesty about later ]. - ' If there are any willing to cooperate, do not kill them. ' - if there are any possibly around, for those now raising up their weapons, being swiftly discarded by higher ranking Soldat, their words and shouts and insults, mean little to nothing to the Balance’s ear. What a discardable bunch they truly were,--- " Grandmaster! " --- and distracted would not be the right word. Unwilling to move, to react towards the 'incoming danger' more of a euphemism for Jugram's obvious disregard. Because if he knew one thing, it was that the Jailer would react. 

    If he was aware of one thing, then that the Hunter would step up as soon as any obvious attack on higher up would be posed [ was it a test? if yes, was there any doubt to positive outcome? ], so when the word ringing in his ear would quieten down the same second his eyes had even only made to look at the fallen heap of flesh at his feet, there was another growl of distinguishable disregard that falls from an angered throat. 

                ❝ i will tear out their eyes, and i will tear out their tongues. ❞

    " Now, now. "    Who would have thought that this little slip of someone's shattered perception had been enough to rip out such a vicious set of obvious ire?    " There is no need to react that heavily to those that are discardable, Captain. "    But it was not enough, it truly was not enough. No matter how placating Jugram's voice would sound in these few seconds to the man now close by and lingering for a few more moments, alone power reverberating around them had been enough for soldiers of their troops to jump to action [ were they that scared of repercussions for letting this allow to happen? ]. 

    And even without the happenstance of attack 'on life', the next sets of words, shouts of disregards of broken voices, disdain, ridicule, scorn, mockery, directed towards their battalion, directed towards him, towards their Majesty and his Holy Self [ and the last one was too much, the way it all changed and turned, with even the Grandmaster’s eyes turning to dark wrath ], what else there was to do than let this place run in its course? Forgotten, lost, forlorn, all the subtlety of objectives suddenly floating his mind and soon to be discarded when a single word raised against their Majesty was sure to---     " You have my permission. "    --- in as much as: they knew nothing else. 

    But the blazing visions of adorant devotion. 

    And with the single few words spoken in their own language. Their God scourned with reckless abandon, even his own disposition would change at the drop of a hat [ and had it not even confused the man by his side? ]. Stalled for just a second, a heartbeat, a blink of an eye, nothing more than mere priceless thoughts wasted on the sudden switch of someone so calm, so eerily haunted in all that graceful dignity, but there was nothing. His voice had not changed, his tone the same way soft and soothing. No, now there was something else between the two men. Something that was an inkling of a different way of trust laced in nothing but novels to read in between single lines. And how their smiles would match it. One light, near imperceptible, the other grotesque, wide, ripping open what should have stayed hidden. 

    Within those moments alone, everybody - every soul [ allies and enemies alike ], would find the true horror they could sow. By a command unlike any other, ringing in ears and finding nothing else but a dissonant tone. But alas, mayhap today there would be a moment to extend a bit more of a barely offered piece of his own acceptance to one of their own. Perhaps only today was it the right feel, the right atmosphere [ chilling, so chilling, power alone had brought their whole surrounding to feel the cold down to their bones ]. 

    He might want to talk later to his dearest Jailer. Possibly in the calm of an evening, in the togetherness of - comrades? But just for now, for the utter heresy that needed to be punished by God's divine might, he extended more in terms of words of recognition before bringing them all to their well-deserved plight.     " Ich hoffe sicherlich--- "    A turn of his head, hand reaching out towards the other, slowly, slowly, a gesture of camraderie, a twisted and turned form of unexpected - friendship - having his hand linger near too kindly on the other’s forearm.     " ---das dies eine Schauspiel für die Ewigkeit wird, mein geliebter Bruder. "    To tear out their eyes, to their out their tongues. Only for today. 

    He would allow Hell to appear like a Heaven on Earth.