#and if i didnt find anything. or if there was something i really wanted. i would think 'im just saving my luck'
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Yandere!Ekko x GN!Reader Headcanons
a/n: i watched arcane in perfect timing cuz i didnt even know s2 was comin out the next week 😭
If there was anything else Ekko loved as much as freedom, it would be coming home to you.
You'd be there, laughing with the Firelights, completely safe from all the danger up above.
Ekko had vowed to protect you from the moment he saved you as kids. The memory of your desperate sobs and tight grip, pleading for dear life, was obsessively burned in his mind.
Behind closed doors, he's nothing but an absolute softie. As soft as he can be anyway, because for some reason, you can't seem to find him anything but endearing.
Always a smile on your face whenever you give him a hug. He'd return the favor every time. "Touch starved sucker," you'd tease, to which he just rolls his eyes.
He also started helping you train. To your annoyance, before he even agreed, you had to convince him quite a bit.
"Look, I can protect you myself—" You shook your head. This was unusual for him. "Ekko. Self defense, man?"
Hesitant. That's how he felt. He knew what you were feeling nowadays, and he only wanted to delay the inevitable.
Still, with each day he trained you, the closer you two became. It grew harder for him to ignore his overwhelming feelings for you.
"Food?" you smiled, offering him a bowl. "The kids helped me cook this. Better compliment 'em."
With a hum, Ekko held the bowl over as he leaned over the balcony, feeding himself a spoonful. You peacefully dealt with your own bowl next to him.
...Something's wrong. You're quiet. Ekko slowly stopped eating, choosing to watch you instead. His eyes twitched in uncertainty as he stared at you.
"Spit it out," he scoffed suddenly, licking his lips. "You want something."
You looked up and met his gaze. Ekko's gaze was piercing, his voice rough. For whatever reason, he was on edge.
"I want to join the missions," you finally answered.
... Ekko let out a short laugh. He knew it. This was the question he'd been dreading. Seriously. You? Up there? In that sad excuse of a dumpster? He couldn't imagine it. He really, really couldn't.
You always were a problem solver. Observant and quick-thinking, you helped him with certain missions even when you weren't present.
His stare on you intensified, thickening the tension in the air. A shiver crawled down your spine; it was rare to see him wear this expression around you.
Despite everything, freedom was something he valued the most. He'd agree to what you wanted.
But know this: you’re not allowed to leave his sight. It was imperative that you always stayed close to him. He would go to hell and back just to find you.
And if you ever came close to death? Rest assured, you’d never leave home again. No arguments.
"It's for the best," said Ekko. "You'll be safe here."
ekko being a yandere is pretty straightforward i fear
btw click on the gif creator to find ekko fluff if you haven't seen it already:3c
#yan writes#yandere arcane#ekko x reader#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere ekko x reader#yandere league of legends#yandere ekko#yandere arcane x reader#arcane ekko
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.
#barry.txt#taylor swift#putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush#which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general#whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music#her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate#shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes#onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt#i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort#to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her#if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of#milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share#taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly#shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand#idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable#in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush#and scene#should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine#i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine
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something that is like the baseline of amys entire character to me is that shes lonely. shes clingy and physically affectionate in a way none of her friends really are, shes always getting pushed aside and left behind. yeah, she helps out people she doesnt know because shes a nice person, but also, she sees part of herself in them. she wont leave someone else behind because she knows the feeling —and more importantly, hates the feeling. if she doesnt have somebody to stand by her and be there for her, then shes going to be that person for everybody else. something something her obsession with sonic is really just like a manifestation of that desire for closeness with someone, and she thinks that romance is the only way to get that. idk... this hedgehog can have so many abandonment issues.
#me posts#amy rose#sth#sonic the hedgehog#and this is not to say at all that romance is the only way to have 'real' love or anything#just that yknow part of her breaking free of that would also be realizing that she just wants closeness with someone and it doesnt-#-have to be romantic#aroace amy could fit this i suppose and she just doesnt know it yknow. thats not my hc but i support their beliefs if that makes sense#she wants to be loved and she wants to love and she doesnt really get a big outlet for that so she shares it with everyone she sees#also i didnt wanna jam up the post but GAMMA!! this is partially abt gamma she helps him find out how to love and how to find joy in it-#-bc its what she wants for herself. she sees him and sees how completely alone he is and she wants to help him. idk idk something something#-when she was locked in the cell she saw part of herself staring back at her#gamma parallels to amy is SLEPT ON i stg i could make a whole other post about it#idk.. whenever im writing amy or just thinking abt how shed interact with others its always from the lens that she craves closeness with-#-others. she wants people to just stay for once.#does this make any sense. idk man im rambling here#my worst nightmare is characterizing her wrong its such a fine line and sometimes the words do not come out of my brain right#btw this is NOT me dissing amy i love amy. she is like top three favorite character.#important context: im typing this with amy firefox theme rn ok. ok im an amy fan.#she points at the minimize button like shes telling me to log off#jesus christ i just scrolled back up i love to put a whole other post in the notes dont i
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my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??
#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man#i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it#and anyways im not actually a guy#im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet#and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious#im a fucking student geneticist dude#i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways#probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders#codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales?#its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing#i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains#& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men#and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women#its an OLD study too#anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information#but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence#not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough#ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic#but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense'#figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet#and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right#it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi#i dont fucking care it makes SENSE#'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly#nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon#especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS??#are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude#that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley#combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like#nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology
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Can you make a tutorial on how you world build and make ocs? I can't seem to make any people in my brain, but then when I try to come up with environments jobs, beliefs and little details to slowly come up with someone, I think: well I don't really know how people have influenced the world- it's a weird loop
To be honest, I don't think I can! Writing is an extremely personal process. The way I write is directly related to how I process things, what I find important in stories, years of my own analysis of my and other's writing, etc... The way you write will be unique to you, as well. But I can explain how I personally think of it.
The short answer:
Write. Write anything and everything, it's a tool to explore your ideas. Analyze your own writing, and write more. Then, as you discover which ideas you want to develop, write more to explore them more. You won't know what you want otherwise!
The long answer:
I think this kind of loop is common. It's easy to feel like everything needs to be done "at once," because our job as writers is to make elements logically fit with each other for our readers. But as you've discovered, developing multiple elements simultaneously isn't really possible, or at least is extremely difficult.
Personally, when I think of writing, I break it into three major elements; characters, world, and plot. As much as possible every scene explores one or more of these, and as much as possible these three things tie back into what I personally consider most important: theme.
Everything I do is in service of the themes I want to present. Without them my events feel aimless. It can take a while to discover them, but they're the core of my work. You will have to discover what you feel is the core of yours. Analyzing other media helps with this too.
Concepts in your brain exist in a state of infinite potential. But when you start writing you have to start making choices, which removes potential as you move forward... But you have to move forward anyways. If there's ideas you want to explore later, you can always explore them later.
What this ends up meaning, to answer your question, is that I don't think of my characters as "people in my brain" or my worlds as something people have influenced... Not at their core, at least. They are tools that I use to represent specific ideas. Obviously they're also my blorbos, but mostly they're serving a specific narrative purpose.
So above all else... Write. Write, and discover what you're writing about, and then start over and write with that in mind. Keep doing this. But you have to write!
#I wish there were a cleaner answer to this kind of thing#and I also wish that there were a way to answer that didnt feel like 'just do it lol'#but... genuinely you kind of just have to do it!#I find it helps to reframe writing as trying to figure out which ideas I don't like#then if I write anything that feels bad to me#it's not about being a bad writer or anything like that. it's just something I dont want in my story and I delete it.#like if you find yourself naturally coming up with worldbuilding elements. its okay to just start there!#you can start like 'I really want giant mushrooms' and then start thinking about how cool that would be#and like oooh what if there were really cool caves full of mushrooms and all glowy yeaaah#then you start building people from that. colonies of fungal people or something. this is still worldbuilding#then you might think now. whats a plot that could go with this and show off my cool mushrooms.#maybe the mushrooms are all connected and the main one is dying and no one knows why. it's a classic plot.#if you still dont feel like you can find a character in that. keep going! why is it dying? how can it be saved? can it? if not then why?#etc etc etc. when I am writing I actually ltierally write out 101 questions like this as I'm going and then I answer them#and if I cant answer them. then I figure out a different situation that doesnt bring that question up LMFAO#eventually you can decide you want a hero who idfk will replace the big mushroom or something. a sacrifice and immortality simultaneously#then you can be like yeah so my themes are probably about sacrifice. connection to others. love for your community. stuff like that#and then you can go back to your world and say. yeah I think that people should have telepathic communication on some level!#I'm just making all this up right now but I just want to illustrate somehow how this kind of cyclical process can actually be a tool#because it's not about getting it all right at once. its about leaning into the cycle and how it guides you through developing these#anyways idk if this makes any sense. if this doesnt feel like it works for you then it probably literally doesnt#but writing more and analyzing writing more is ALWAYS good#it will never make your writing worse to do those things.#unfortunately (said with all the love in the world) writing is an endless process of learning more about who you are and what you care abou#its wonderful but it's hard and theres no way to skip that process#good luck!#asks#anon#writing stuff#oh also if at any point you go hm. that big thing isnt working for me I think...
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Ugh. Supernatural fans will write fanfics about Dean Winchester that are so heart shattering it tricks me into thinking I should rewatch Supernatural.
#it tricks me into think supernatural was anything more than very mediocre. but maybe my opinion has changed#i just kno i didnt really like it that much bc i thought x files was better and i thought the Christian stuff was boring#but i also used to not like narut0 so maybe i should givr it another shot#ugh. idk i just think some of thr bedt fics ive read were from supernatural. and they've evolved so much over time#like i was reading supernatural fanfic when cas was 1st introduced. ugh. there r a couple fics that r etched in my brain#but i have no idea what thry were called or how i would even try to find thrm. thry were all on fan fiction dot net. woof#anyway im procrastinating. but i should try to draw cas. i feel like i coulf maybe drse him now. or Dean. maybe. i always found thrm hard#to draw. ys kno. ugh. ive got thr supernatural feels. thr fandom i go to when i want to experience thr most wretched sadness#supernatural ramblings#god. i hope this isnt the stsrt of something. ive got so much othet bullshit to watch#unrelated
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need motivation to keep going but everything feels either too far away in the future for me to care if i get there or not or just unattainable
#tryijg to push myself to start applying to jobs again but then even with money how much do i get to keep#most of it'd be going to bills and loan repayment#if i start driving soon then money to gas#how much do i have for myself#and even if i do have some to myself no space to put anything id like#cant even dream of an apartment or home rn#thats definitely out of reach and things just keep getting more expensive#gave up on dreaming of getting a cat either#bc as much as id love one and as good of a support it could be#...money.#food vet bills sanitary supplies toys#i need some motivation to start actually living instead of rotting away but where the hell do i find it#all i was focused on between hs and uni was getting it over with that ended and i rly have no clue what to do w/ myself#after being sickeningly anxious for 8 years i didnt even get anything out of it what was the point#i dont know what to do or where to go#ofc theres things i do want but its like. they also dont really matter to me.#not much does anymore#and id love it if something did im tired of feeling stuck in place
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i know you are a an of qrow and winter, but id love to see a shipping chart Qrow and Willow aka as alcoholics anonymous
It would be funny if the vol 10 happened and we saw them flirting, what a power move that would be (and then Weiss going like "omg mom do you even know who that guy is, he's crusty" >:-/)
#althoug the thing about CRWBY is that they seem to be afraid of letting relationships happen#I mean it as you dont see the characters really try out things and come to the conclusion that maybe this wasnt the way I want to go#so you know I dont think we'd see anything between two because CRWBY would think they have to be the end game then#and that they are getting married or something along those lines imo#that been said I like the idea of them just thinking the world is going to end in Vacuo and finding comfort in each others company#or if its before fall of Atlas it could be like drunken one night stand and aftermath of it turns out to them wanting to try out dating#Maybe Willow would find it amusing if she never got to date in more casual sense due to her family name#suddenly she gets to live the teenage fantasy of sneaking out to meet up with this guy#I think if we went with one nightstand scenario Qrow would try assure her that its okay they are both adults who make mistakes#after all he didnt do that either; he chose to be here#maybe Willow would find comfort in the straightforwardness ?#Even if Qrow didnt think it about it himself; Willow could see him as someone who chose to continue living despite everything#thats enough rambling for now I think#shipping bingo#I think id prefer Raven/Willow because#well milfs#jk jk... unless?
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ok. what is so special about this new farming sim. what makes it not Just Another Farming Sim
#im just tired at this point . like is there something unique about it or#i wish rf5 was good unfortunately its kind of sucks. i still might finish it eventually tho#but ill probably just play rf4. i like that those ones have like. monsters. & combat#there was some spooky fantasy lookin one i found a little while ago. kind of cutesy halloween vibes it looked like. idr if i bought it#i dont know anything abt this new one everyone is talking abt maybe ill look into it more#but from the brief search i did earlier it kind of didnt really draw me in#also i definitely thought the blacksmith(? i think. red hair) was a girl & i was kinda disappointed to find out i was wrong .#i think its bc he reminded me of nami from hm/sos a wonderful life lmAO the hair & expression...#actually i kind of want to get sos:awl now (i wont bc i cant actually afford it but i want to)#another wonderful life was the first harvest moon game i played so id like to see how the new one compares
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i've had this little theory since i was a kid that every day you get a little piece of luck, and you can choose where to spend it, like finding a coin on the ground. or you can chose to save it up, let something unlucky happen to you that day, or deal with something unlucky by knowing that luck is being saved up and will give you something better in a while.
#i really love this#it makes me feel really at peace when i use it#when i lived in japan i liked to do gatcha for my sister and around 90% of the time i got the one i wanted for her first try#and i thought of that as luck you get secondarily through doing a kind action for another person#which proved true when i tried ones for myself and it took me so many tries to get the one i wanted. or i gave up#im not a superstitious person but luck has always had an effect on me#i remember how i developed it too. someone had dropped a bunch of change out of their pocket at the park (like $6 worth) and i picked it al#up. and the next day i found a little statue of a fairy in the dirt at that same park. and i thought 'this is where im spending my luck'#and if i didnt find anything. or if there was something i really wanted. i would think 'im just saving my luck'
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Honestly tho it's the "I don't love you" and "every time I said it was just automatic impulse" that's got me the most messed up. Like u couldn't even let me down softly by saying it just wasn't working out? You had to essentially tell me the whole thing was a lie??? After I TOLD you I had trust issues and felt like everyone is just going to leave me in the end???
Way to make me feel unlovable lol
#speculation nation#tho of course what has me the Angriest is her breaking up with me over text. that takes the biggest fucking cake.#idk there was a lot said in all of that bullshit. including her admitting she was probably self-sabotaging.#i hate being used as a tool of self harm. being shoved away as a form of self sabotage.#like if youre gonna be a messed up bastard whyd you have to include me in it??? fucking bitch.#i let her know just how pissed off i was. called her every applicable name under the sun.#selfish coward bastard asshole piece of shit bitch. tossed in a few Fuck Yous as well. fully deserved.#and yet she just kept on with that sniveling 'im so sorry' and 'i know ill regret this' and 'i just have to do it'#you didnt have to do anything. you couldve had it poly but you just couldnt look last your infatuation.#also her calling days old feelings Love. as if that kind of immediate and extreme kind of feelings arent By Definition infatuation.#she's in the honeymoon faze. found her nice new fixation. said they understand each other like no one else.#but it's only been Days. how well can you know a person in that time? not very well usually.#threw out a nearly 6 month long relationship just like that. what a joke.#and when she'd brought up just last thursday that our 6 months was coming up (on the 23rd)#and mentioned wanting to do something to celebrate it...#im just like. i guess you really cant know everything in a person huh?#i knew she wasnt perfect but she always treated me so kindly. so considerate and attentive.#who knew she'd be the type to drop me for the new shiny fixation? i sure didnt expect it.#id started to trust that she genuinely liked me. even if i didnt understand why.#but now im back to square one. wondering whether anyone can ever like the true me.#i know theres gotta be someone out there for me. i just... have to find them.
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I think its fucking ridiculous that the college IN THE CITY I LIVE IN THAT HAS DIRECT CONNECTION TO THE COMMUNITY COLLEGE I WENT TO won't consider any of my degree classes as transferable credits they're all considered electives like as if the same teachers didnt teach at both schools and the course descriptions aren't nearly identical like thats so fucked up anyways university be damned you will be seeing me with printed transcript printed course descriptions and printed syllabus i will try and appeal anything and everything i possibly can
#like how are you gonna look me in the face and say my associates degree is worth absolutely nothing#i should have taken a science course for my associates degree i really should have but i desperately didnt want to and you know what#i got that bitch waived#if ur gonna take my ap credit you better take something from my degree i have#im leaving with something#like you motherfuckers i am not starting from scratch#i dont even really wanna go to this college but im not going to one where i have to pay living expenses so here we are#maybe not for long tho but thats yet to be seen#either way im not letting the university that managed to misplace/lose millions of dollars say final answer there nothing we can do#yeah not letting them say that without a fight#you can truly accomplish a lot with ' i hope this email finds you well' and persistence#if FRQs taught me anything its that if you have sources you can pretty much argue anything and get a 5
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i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh
#toy txt post#i miss it i should play w her more often but it was going to be for a dnd thing that ive all but abandonded bc i feel like#i cant. do that but it sucks bc i had some cool fun concepts and characters but it was hard enough back then when i was just insecure and#knew nothing about dnd and was intimidated by the mechanics but wanted to try dming for some reason but now i just straight up dont know#what to do but i really enjoy those characters. i should just unlock the secret channelsand scrap the dnd game idea for now and keep the#concepts and im sure i could come up w something if i ever actually learned anything about that shit#anyway. my point being. im obsessed w my character i made up and you should be too cos its good shit#toxic anarchist half dragon demigod with authority issues whos an alloaro clown named Stupid Cupid.#i think her pronouns were whatever but also it/she? when i say toxic i mean it did have a bit of a Clown Cult.#Cupid i think is possibly its given name and Stupid was her clown ass addition and yes i do know of the song and yes it is on its playlist#obsessed w all the stupid overpowered characters i made in that universe. they were such good concepts. gulliver obviously. charybdis#silas (cupids father + previous (now deceased) god of chaos)#cupids mother who i dont think i had a name for yet but she was supposed to be kind of a neutral lawful (in a rules lawyering way)#moon paladin who hatefucked the god of chaos after failing to kill him which she was trying to do out of devotion to the moon#and she supposed to have what i can only describe as chainsaw powers? and she destroyed every gun in existence and killed anyone who knew#how to make them until there were no guns left bc silas kept being annoying w guns and was trying to use them on the moon. for reasons#so she really pissed him off and impressed him before she finally got to him and tried to kill him. and if she was even a minor god instead#of a 'mortal' it wouldve worked and thats the only reason he didnt die from her. and then her child. stupid cupid the clown#grew up and had issues and started a clown cult and wandered around usurping warlords and dictators before putting her aim on silas#and trying to kill him. but failing not bc she was mortal but bc he outsmarted it. but he couldbt bring himself to kill it so he had her#put to sleep for a thousand yrs until someone else killed him(he pissed off a stupid seagull druid who lured him into the path of Charybdis#who he'd ALSO pissed off and Charybdis mega killed him and then the gull druid was made the new god of chaos just to have someone fill the#roll but then they kind of suck at it? they did not want that much responsibility altho the immortality is nice. when they took over they#released cupid whos a bit of a legend but then the vibes are super weird bc cupid Definitely wants to usurp and take on the mantle of#chaos deity and gulliver idolizes her but doesnt feel great about just handing that over to it? and cupid has to grapple with not being the#one to kill silas. almost everyone she knew is dead. her mom isnt. the world has changed a lot. she finds out her cult is still going and#gets excited? but they have Changed. it disgusts her now. they are not the radical clowns she intended. the vibes are weird. she denounces#that and tries out piracy. she manages to get the moon paladin living chainsaw power?#despite not being aligned w their ideology at all. wow nepotism. then it was going to spiral into some fucking meta galactic shit and have#well. ran out of tags. anyway i miss this character i should figure out what im doing w this universe cos theres no way im dming rn 🙃
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#the worst part about all this is that i Literally saw her 2 weeks ago. we didnt have time to talk we just said hi and went our separate ways#i never even got to say goodbye to her.#and i didnt even know i needed to because this was all so fucking sudden. she was my age. healthy. etc#life is really fucking fragile huh. like it can be gone just like that.#im sorry im just.#i was super close with her mom too and i want to idk. text her or something. but what the fuck can i even say??#and my other friends in that friend group are all unavailable rn for one reason or another#like. no contact in another country kind of unavailable#so im just. do they even know. has anyone told them. or will they find out when they come back.#i still cant even wrap my head around it tbh. its just. she was alive this morning. she was alive. this morning.#hh. anyway.#i called my sister and cried to her a little bit which was nice. but fuck i really really wish i could hug her right now#or cuddle my dog. literally anything.#im going to be such a fucking mess tomorrow oh my god#i dont even want to go to sleep tonight because if i see her in my dreams im going to fucking lose it#i dont know. i dont fucking know.#winter speaks#personal#tw death#grief tag#<- i fucking guess. i might be venting more in the next few weeks so ill at least make it easy to blacklist
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HI TUMBLR late footnote posting before i go to bed (i took a nap today........ ate up most of my time)
not a lot to talk about with footnotes today since i was Busy and my brain wasnt working pfndkmlfd i blame seven hours of modded oneblock
#haunted ecosystem#haunted bookshelf#i might make a tag for these footnote posts? i think its a fun way to document what ive written about without sharing All of it#also yes thats a random crack au that i've have in the back of my head for a bit what about it#i dont think its canon in the slightest its just a funny little thing in my head for writing random bs#honestly i might start trying to work on more wtds stuff. this is kind of a perfect excuse#also! i think how i might work this is that if i work on a larger project during the day then i'll just do the daily prompt#since its a good exercise and an excuse to keep some kind of writing streak going#i actually asked one of my partners for a prompt since i was struggling to find an interesting one#ended up with 'last man standing' for spoke... very fitting tbh#i might write a more canon take for that. the concept i wrote down was much more set in an au than anything since i was also thinking#about asomatous zam at the same time so i kind of just incorparated both of them into it with it being paracosm-era#OH did i ever mention that i have a general title plan for the other parts of that kind of. world#its very set in stone that if i do write more it'll be two more parts#metamorphosis (5 part) and paracosm (1 part with multiple scenes. functionally 3 part maybe?)#asomatous goes in the middle of that. i need to kind of plan all of them out better and see how it wants to flow#metamorphosis was started as a concept because i had a few bad things happen bingo prompts i wanted to be used for asomatous#but didnt end up using. so metamorphosis is my excuse for that. paracosm is just a Concept thats been really plaguing me basically since i#originally wrote asomatous... i should probably come up with a temporary series title. i think something about shattering skies?#its a reoccurring theme and symbol throughout all of them....... i just think its neat#ANYWAYS goodnight to you especially if you actually read through all my tags :)
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