#and if he survived that then its only bc the beholding went with him

[pinkravat-art]

domesticity somewhere else

i missed them ok

[mytruepairings]

Something I just CAN'T get over is how gaon was just ready to die only AFTER betraying two people he'd come to really care about. Whether its romantic or not gaon had come to really care about yohan. enough to stab him in the back for yohan's sake at the cost of their relationship. Even after losing the only family he had left. But what's important to note is that he didnt want to die after losing soohyun or being betrayed by his father figure. He only wanted to die after realizing he betrayed a man who wasnt a devil. A man who was simply trying to protect his remaining family the best way he could.

AND THEN when he thought he'd lost yohan and he'd never be able to mend that relationship he really did try to die. Right then and there. He literally bolted from the room to carry out his plan. He was ready to leave Elijah all alone, but low and behold when yohan saved him suddenly he'd found reason again. He was okay with living on bc yohan didnt want him to die. But yet when he realized yohan wasnt going to survive that explosion gaon just decided to say fuck it to everything yet again and die with him since he couldnt convince him to live. (AND bro I swear when he asks yohan if hes really going to leave Elijah all alone there's that pause and all I can think is him holding back on asking if yohan is really going to leave him)

Yes, a lot of those decisions were based on multiple intense emotions caused by more than just yohan but yohan was able to change everything around multiple times without even asking gaon to do anything. He didnt ask gaon to live but saving him meant the same thing so he decided to live. Yohan didnt ask him to die, but gain didnt want to live in a world without him. And even when gaon thought yohan died in the explosion without him, he didnt try to kill himself again. No he simply went back to the place where they had the most memories to grieve.

like BRUH gaon is yohan's ride or die and no one can convince me otherwise. And like I'm sorry but that just screams being in love to me. Like at the end of episode 16 I think gaon finally realizes that his feelings are more romantic than familial or friendly but that's imo

[nepsah]

im not done rambling apparently - this is mostly abt Des and only Des

Metas have a few different life stages and also grow Much Faster than humans/other races - they can literally grow overnight when they’re ready? anyways the stages are Toddler -> Child -> Teen -> Adult -> Elder

“Elder” =/= old, its basically a demigod stage that only certain individuals ever reach

Deskri finally reached Elder a few months ago.....

newer Meta is a bit more flexible w/how powers work - before Des was mostly just illusion based (logic being makeup = transformative?) but these days he’s primarily Shadow and Illusion... and upon growing to Elder, also Water (Liquid aspect of his item)

His Elder Quest (to grow to elder they have to undergo a quest of sorts) involved finding the “key to inner peace” (or was it strength..)

Which to Des, at this point, sounded like a load of shit

wait let me back up...

When Broken rebooted the setting, they came up for an IC reason as to why the “school” had closed down

basically Metas are kind of controversial in universe? in most places they aren’t really regarded as People - they’re thought of more as uh... objects - or in some cases, weapons.

anyway some kids were killed in the city neighboring the Academy and Rasiel got blamed for it - an angry mob of humans stormed the school and basically destroyed everything, scattering all of the inhabiting Metas to the winds

Now at the time, Des+fam were out of town and didn’t know wtf had happened- they came back to ruins and angry humans - in the chaos of it all, everyone got split up and lost contact with one another

(Des also did not Know about the Raz thing -- as far as he knew, Rasiel had just disappeared again one day and hadn’t come back yet)

20 years pass in-universe, and Rasiel, disguised as a man named “Rhun” reopens the ‘school’ but as a Sanctuary instead, for All Metas. caveat being they can’t keep Metas who have a criminal record there lest they risk getting Everyone in danger

Des ends up being one of the first ones to show up and he’s in a Real Bad State - the last 20yrs were Not good to him and it Shows.

Raz nearly fuckin loses it on sight but y’know, he’s in Disguise, he can’t show?? anything?? he assumes Des Knows about what happened and assumes he Believes it (Rasiel did not actually kill any children.... he was framed)

bunch of stuff happens, Des figures it out bc of course he does, Raz was like the light of his life for like, ever. they almost sort of?? get back together?? des is in no state to be with anyone romantically but like, can’t express that bc he’s still scared shitless of like, everything at the moment

in the first rambly post i mentioned Manes/Malices can give powers/abilities to their hosts that have to do with their own powers etc. well Obscurite, Raz’s Malice, gave him uncontrollable anger :’)

which gets set off

which freaks des the hell out - its a bit spiral for a second there

des ends up leaving the Sanctuary for a few reasons (one being Kagyaku is still out there and he’s worried he’ll endanger ppl by being there and the other- he doesn’t want to put Raz’s real identity at risk) - i fell... out of activity for a bit so icly he just went back to what he was doing which was wandering from place to place just kinda Surviving(tm)

at some point another player’s character, Estrian, actually happens upon him when he’s injured n brings him home and lo and behold Estrian is actually staying with Raz and they are both taking care of a couple kids (Raz is actually on the run at this point bc someone tipped off a bounty hunter on who he was)

(des does not know this)

des and raz kinda half a heart-to-heart - they both apologize to each other sdlgkj before leaving des flipped from frightened-all-the-time to pissed-the-fuck-off and said a bunch of things he regretted etc

(i’m glossing over so much shit...)

des ends up stayin there for a few days - bc raz offers to let him and des says yeah he’d like to stay

but uh,.. Elder Quest pops up. Each main species of Meta has an Elder that presides over That Species -- for Angels, its Nova (the first Meta ever) - for Demons, its Avon (yes, its Nova backwards).

Avon sends Des a summoning letter for an Elder Quest and Des, being the dumbass he is, just fuckin?? leaves?? doesn’t wait ‘til morning or anything (he thinks he’ll back out of it if he has to say bye in person) so he just like. writes a goodbye note and takes off on this quest

which then uh. stalls bc i got really busy and life was annoying

but anyways The Quest that he embarked on (he was given 3 options) was to find the Key to Inner Strength (im p sure thats it...)

which to Des, sounded like a load of shit, but what does he know?

quest takes him to a city covered in fog, which has been abandoned by its inhabitants - they all moved to an island offshore... except for this one angel guy that ferries Des over there

(des is suspicious of all of this the whole time)

(also he has no cell service)

shortly after getting onto the island he overhears two women fighting - like, do the death, but one doesn’t rlly sound like she’s into it and also she sounds familiar?

the grass is thick so he remains mostly unseen until he finds them -- or rather, just the living one and holy shit, its Alice

except according to Rasiel, Alice was killed by the human mob that was trying to get at him, 20 years ago.

Alice also seems surprised to see Des except she calls him “Snow”

as it turns out, everyone on the island looks Exactly Like his childhood friends...

and they’re all participating in a fucked up battle royale where the losers fall under the will of someone named Indoria.

des is 2 seconds away from noping the fuck out of this

(as kids, Raz and Alice hated each other and thus by extension, Des did not like Alice much but they sorta figured that out)

(it still feels fuckin weird for him in this moment)

along this quest they run into this island’s Deskri - except it isn’t Des - bc island-Des is dead. this guy is Snow and he acts a Lot like Kagyaku and it takes every ounce of willpower in Deskri not to just fucking run for the hills immediately.

they also run into island-Sonnet (another BFF I didn’t ramble about in the last post), cue more internal feelings struggling for Des bc he hasn’t seen her since before the shutdown and he’s not even sure if she’s actually alive still???

The three of them go to confront Indoria - her closest guard is island-Rasiel.......

fighting ensues, etc, (glossing so much) Des manages to corner Indoria... only to discover that she is actually Suminku. (Sonnet’s Malice)

Suminku reveals that she actually controls everyone on the island - she’s making them relive what she knows of her past... and that she isn’t the Real Suminku... she’s a copy made by a Haven facility (Haven is... they’re Bad).

Des is left with a choice: let her live, and the cycle of violence will continue, or break a very core moral rule of his and kill her.

Des has always seen killing someone as being... unforgivable for him... bc it would put him yet another step closer to being like Kagyaku.

He kills her. He can’t stand to look at the body - all around him, the people that used to look like his childhood friends/enemies start to change... into who they really are - and regain their Real memories (while keeping most of the ones given by Suminku.)

“Snow” gives Des a key and tells everyone to get off of his island

ferryman takes everyone back n asks Des if he found what he was after so Des mentions the key and he’s like ‘hmm i think i know where that goes’

turns out it goes to a door at the foot of an angel statue

which leads down into a secret lab

which belongs to none other than Dr. Kae Broken, aka, Rasiel’s Mother.

Des inspects a bunch a stuff- its mostly notes from when Kae was developing Metas as a species w/someone else... the notes state that she was Aware that Metas have basically... 2 slots for souls to occupy that slowly close up as the Meta ages... any time before that extra slot is closed, a second soul can occupy it. they “couldn’t do” anything about it bc it would fundamentally change things and they’d already made a few Metas anyway

this pisses Des the fuck off

as kids there was a Lot of drama around keeping Raz’s mom from finding out about the Malices-  Raz was Absolutely Certain she’d disown him if she knew about it and he had some weird “favorite child” competition going on with Alice - there was a lot of grief over this

raz like ditched des 2 times over potential issues w/his mom slkdgj

so here des is, reading that not only did their creator know about this, it was basically an accepted flaw ?

more notes reveal that the reason everyone in this town was so pissed off and killin each other over stupid things was bc they were experimenting on the town by contaminating the water supply with “berserker potion”

Des is a prickly, shouty person, but he actually detests violence

the anger levels here are skyrocketing

notes mentioned another lab somewhere called Dreadneth - doesn’t ring a bell for him at the moment

the thing that sends him over the edge is finding a recipe list for a potion that can Force a Mane/Malice out of the body of a Meta. notes say it was used once successfully and could only be used  on Teen+ stage Metas.

des is literally seeing red at this point

she Knew abt the extra souls and she KNEW how to remove them !!! the whole time!! and yet so many ppl Suffered for years under the influence of Malices - this potion was not made available.

(technically it was used on Rasiel to remove Obscurite - Alice did it and Des didn’t know - he thought it was something to revive Rasiel)

Des decides right then n there that the lab has got to go so he literally destroys everything inside of it  then lights it all on fire, goes back up to the surface and locks the door sdlgkj

he was so ... pissed... and set on returning to the Sanctuary with the potion recipe that he didn’t stop to tell anyone in the town abt the berserker potion.... (its ok tho there’s  no more)

so that’s kind of where he’s at atm

went back to Sanctuary, gave Raz the recipe, and then was like ‘so i’m gonna go find your mom’s other lab you wanna come with’

so they’re on a mission to get to Dreadneth (a volcano...., on an island) to destroy that and maybe also another lab that Raz knows about. kinda sortin themselves out a bit. :’)

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 18

Session 18

Sunday, February 28, 2021       7:33 PM

  -  "we're all gonna die"

-  Lilguerite talking about soup and secondary soups and tertiary soups

 -  Last week on

-  We went to the hideout thing

-  In the prison thing

-  "you take little bites you fool"

o  "take bigger bites you fool" - marguerite, judging marianne

-  There's a minotaur

-  We tried killing this one guy but it didn't work lmao rip us

 -  6 for initiative

- 19 for L (22}

- 14 for M (17}

 -  Theo shoots, misses (10}

-  Dwarf

o  Sylvia: "how big is his ass"

-  Dwarf has an axe

o  Aerana is probably the closest

■       Is hit

■       I'm unconscious

■       "I'm expendable" "no binch I won't take any of this negativity"

-  Halfling asks theo for the lockpick

o  Theo gives it to her

-  Asyna turns into a crocodile

o

-  Adam o o o o o

Tries to bite and misses

 Cutting words Hits

Next minute dwarf is completely unconscious Strums one note for hypnotic pattern

Falls on his face (the dwarf not adam}

-  Time to go get his keys

-  Asyna has to roll a saving throw as a crocodile (17} ; she's fine

-  Cel adds 8 to aerana

-  Asyna turns into ape, grabs key, 11+2 for dex

-  Throws keys to adam

-  Adam lets big boys out first

o  minotaur, ogre, another w ogre-like features but not quite sure what type of creature it is

-  Cel lets out human and drow

-  Asyna takes battle axe

-  Asyna looks through pockets, 4 for investigation

-  Asyna gives adam the axe and gives the axe to the minotaur

-  Theo gets lockpick back

-  Aerana moves to the back bc she's casually bleeding out

o  Aerana in back with sword

-  Asyna still an ape

-  Theo doing smth I didn't hear lmao oops sorry lillian

-  Dwarf gets up

-  Adam "so you wanna surrender now?"

o  Dwarf grunts

o  Adam tells minotaur to sic him

-  Cel rolls to hit, dirty 20 w disad

-  theo rolls to hit, 15 w disad

o  Cel hits

■       12 damage

■       "can I shoot him in the ass?"

-  Adam has to persuade minotaur

o  11, persuades and minotaur

o  Hits, 21 damage

-  Back to theo

o  18 to hit

o  9 damage

-  Halfling looks around, turns to squad, says we have everything covered

o  Adam asks for any helpful things

■       27 for ?? Persuasion ??

  -  Asyna

o

□

□

 21 to hit

Sighs and has a crude shiv and walks up and shivs the dwarf Hits, damage ig

o 6 damage

-  Dwarf uses half his movement to stand, tries to run

o  18 damage from ppl around

-  Asyna gets to hit again

o  21 to hit, 9 damage

-  He runs off to the right

o  Adam is like 80? Ft away from him, casts sleep ?

-  Cel peeks out, sees arena with a bunch of blood

o  No bodies ???????? Ew

-  Arbys is the minotaur

o  Because he's got the Meats

-  Dom asks us for our passive perception

o  We apparently don't see the thing

-  Drow woman steps out

-  Does blood trail stop?

o  Adam investigating, 11

■       "sure" there's a trail of blood leading to wall, adam pushes wall, it swings inwards

-  Cel goes in first, adam right behind her

-  "are you guys finding the way out?" "we're finding the way in, dawg"

-  Inviting them to come with us

-  Ask them their names

o  Human names

■       Arthritis

□  "there you go. He's smoking hot"

□  This is an elderly man

□  Why are we into him

♦

■       Claudio

■       Jia

OH WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT ARTHRITIS

o  Drow

■

■

 ■

Raylan Arwindar(?}

"if you follow quickly, minotaurs have an uncanny ability to memorize where they've been"

Looks @ asyna and aeranan and in elvish says if we're interested in visiting below, operation works on level 5

□ Puts on a ring and disappears

o  Humans choose to follow minotaur

o  Halfling is gone

-  We can still pass without a trace

o  Time to go down secret passage

-  Adam peeks head into somewhere and sees four pillars glowing w sickly green/yellow light

o  100 ft long

o  Urns scattered throughout

o  Via thaumaturgy dims the lights, walks over to urns

■       Stealth check to go to urns

■       30 stealth, notices some things abt room

□  Nine alcoves in wall; ones he can see have murals w beholders painted on them

□  Diff patterns + colors + eyestalk shapes

□  Large statues of beholder heads that look similar to the ones in the murals placed in front of them

□  To right, carved stone display of a scowling beholder flanked by two statues of wizards

□  Beneath each wizard's hood a light that pulses

□  The pillars are kinda pillars but they have bubbling liquids w a beholder n all of its eyes shuts in the tank

-  Adam wants to let them out

o  "bitch what the fuck" - sylvia

-  Adam looks back at everyone else and says "what the fuck"

-  There's an exit to the south, ahead of us

-  Adam investigates

o  Walks up to biggest beholder and "no don't do that" (sylvia} looks at it

o  They're frozen in a serene pose; the furthest one is jet black and chonky, larger than the one that attacked our house

-  Adam looks inside an urn

o  Adam makes constitution save

o  Dirty 20

o  Unique smell that makes adam wanna puke

o  Quickly shoves lid back on, adam picks up urn and takes it with him

o  No one is hiding in alcoves

-  Go out south door, see a hallway that looks like another hallway we were in earlier

o  In front is heavyset wooden door, another passageway extending to right

o  Door swings open, aerana looks inside; pitch dark which is unusual

■       Heavy desk made of stone in corner, ornate chair behind it w a spider motif

■       Bookshelves not really w any books

■       Two open crates

■       25 for perception

□                Nat20 bois "it's an 8" "no it's a 6" - lillian and marguerite

◆      Spider motif gives off drow vibes

◆      Crates: stuffed beholders in them

◊ Grabs a bunch of them

◆      Small statues in other crate like trophy depicting smaller beholder being caressed by hands

◊ Looks kinda nice

◊ Some type of stone

◆      Empty bookshelves

◆      Chair smushed

◆      Drawers in the desk? Pull desk back

◊ Nat20, we move desk and it grates against stone; see different compartments in desk

◊ Nothing on or behind the walls

►            Asyna recognizes chair theme

-   Not made of wood, made of mushrooms

-   13 history check

•   Looks like a chair from menzo bonanza

•   Basically drow capital

•   Asyna remembers that her mother used to hide things in her chair

•

•

 -  "guys there's a key in the chair. Can we look for a keyhole"

14 investigation

There's a sealed compartment in the chair, pulls out a small black key

o  Try desk keyholes

o  Left cabinet

■       Silvery silken sack

□  "what's in the sack" - adam

□  Asyna pulls out sack, hard to see

♦

♦

♦

♦

♦

♦

o  Right drawer

Nothing in it

Adam cannot tell us what it is

Jacob cannot tell us what it is either Asyna puts her hand in it, feels around Fits her arm in the bag

Tardis bag

■       Heavy tome

■       "it's not even a book. It's like a tome. This big black book"

■       Wrapped in webbing

■       Asyna recognizes it as just a typical book protector

■       Pages of symbols n words; some in elvish

■       Arcana check 17

□  It's a wizard's spellbook

-  Use naya to find the jailer

o  Goes out of pathway and to left

o  Let's go kids

-  Puts a plushie in the bag

o  Puts 30 plushies in bag, they fall out one at a time

o  Bag does not get heavier

o  Puts urn in the bag

o  Takes urn back out

o  Only fluff in the plushies

o  10 investigation to see if there's anything in the plushies

■       Yellow n blue beholder

o  Puts book in sack

-  Aerana wonders if turning bag inside out is infinite

o  Everything falls on the floor

■       The animals and the trophies

-  Theo steps into the bag

o  Put on the ground, oh never mind it's been 15 minutes

-  70 ft down hallway, see an eyeball thing

o  Looks like a living thing, alien, looks back and forth every once in awhile

o  Doesn't see us

o  Sneak past it?

■       Narrow hallway

o  Theo + aerana 20 to hit, same time

o  Cel 17 to hit

■       Creepy shriek noise

■       Liquid slips out, drips, turns into cloud of green dust

o  Dust in the bag

o  Adam tries to do monster lines

o  "now it's a bag of . beholding" - lillian, 2021

o  We get some beholder dust in the bag by blowing

-  Hallway continues, ends at a doorway w heavy wooden door w side passage and stairs heading up

o  Naya looking up

o  Adam peeking into other door

o  Black smoke billows out of room, adam sees room lit with a halfling male with a dirty apron on, running around frantically

■       Appears to be cooking

■       Adam opens door and salutes

■       "head chef I'm here to help ! I was sent by the upper"

□  "finally I haven't had a break"

□  Gives adam the apron and mans leaves

◆      Leaves out off to right

□  "does the apron say anything"

□  Cel says if we survive she'll embroider "kiss the chef" on the apron

■       Adam puts food on top of rack, two halflings on bottom?

■       Adam rolls 14 investigation, sees one dirty apron and chef's hat combo

□  Aerana puts on chef's hat and apron

□  Thinks this is stupid

□  Asyna and aerana cook

□  Nvm asyna and aerana r following naya

-  Adam pushing cart towards good smelling food

o  V elegant chef ppl walking around

o  Hallway transforms into smth less dingy

o  Two large stoves

o  Spice rack

o  More elegance here

o  Seven chef ppl

o  Two small beholders; gazers

■       Floating above, chef gazers

o  "well fuck you too" ???? Cel to adam ???

o  Adam goes to most important looking chef and says he's responding to duty, says he was instructed to feed lord silgar but bc new doesn't know where to go

■       Gives self bardic inspiration

■       17 for deception

□  Chef goes "what are u doing w that"

□  Can't give food to silgar

□  Cobalts look like little lizard ppl

□  Adam instructed to follow stairs from outside

◆                                                                                                              Left right left right again for xant chambers

[callunavulgari]

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10. paper thin by @ebonybow | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane/Sara | 9k

Shane’s new neighbors are a morning-sex kind of couple.

Heather Says: So I went into this one knowing very little about how Sara fit into things. I didn’t know she was Shane’s girlfriend. I’d never even seen her, but I clicked because I like poly and I trust the author. I was 100% not disappointed. There’s also another fic with a very similar dynamic here, which is also aces.

11. damn.nation, now available on itunes by @kaikamahine | Good Omens | Aziraphale/Crowley | 11k

When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell. This, it turns out, was a bad plan.

Heather Says: Elizabeth may have only written one fic this year, but she made it a damn good one. I’ve always loved her OCs especially, so I was pretty tickled that this is 10k+ of outsider pov. Also, demons! Demons are great! This demon is great! I want like 9 seasons and a movie about Amphora, just saying.

12. The Dragon and Her Wolves by hapakitsune | Game of Thrones | Jon/Sansa/Daenarys | 60k

When the truth of Jon's birthright is revealed, control of the North and Daenerys's claim to the Iron Throne are both called into question. To preserve their tenuous alliance and secure her rule, Daenerys puts aside her personal feelings to arrange a marriage of political convenience between Jon and Sansa Stark.

Heather Says: What do you mean season 8 didn’t exist and the show totally ended with a three way relationship between the two most powerful women in Westeros and Jon Snow? Never been a big fan of Jon/Sansa before this, but this is another of those writers that I would literally trust if they wrote a fic about a fork and a spoon.

13. never tell me the odds by @wildehacked | Wolf 359 | Eiffel/Hera | 9k

“I tried Star Wars," he says, adjusting the phone under his neck, "and it was way underwhelming.”

A shaky breath from her end. “Well, where did you start?”

Heather Says: I don’t remember which of @wildehacked‘s fandoms I started reading first. Most recently it��s been The Magnus Archives (more on this later). The point is, they’d written Wolf 359 fic and it had Hera and Eiffel and it was literally everything that I’ve been looking for since the series ended.

14. Find Me Somebody by raiining | Good Omens | Warlock/Adam Young | 11k

“You left me,” he said. “You both left me, for him. And I can’t even blame you, because I’d have left me for him too.”

Heather Says: There was an Art. The art was lovely. So I went looking, because that’s what I do when faced with beautiful art depicting a rare pairing. And I found the holy grail. Like, possibly my favorite Good Omens fic? Ever? 

15. flirting with fire by @brawlite | Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | WIP | 7k

Steve's a cop, Billy's a firefighter. It's not a grudge, it's just a regular old small town rivalry.

Heather Says: Okay so brawlite has written a lot of great stuff this year (more on that later), but I read this in bed at the beach house this August while I was reeling from both a horrible sunburn and like seven hours of mild to moderate day-drinking while everyone else was still throwing back shots right outside my bedroom door. Jaws was playing on the tv and I wasn’t even paying attention to it, because THIS. Long story short, I’ve been thirsty for more ever since.

16. gold, when you find me by mmtion | The Flash | Iris/Barry | 53k

It's not that Iris hates The Flash, per say - more that she hates writing about The Streak in a weekly, pun-heavy comic based on The Flash.

Heather Says: I never would have thought that a canon pairing would make it to my Top 25 list, but here we are. I like Iris/Barry a lot better when they don’t grow up together and spend a lot of time playing the Superman game, apparently. Also, this was really well-written, and sexual tension has never been something I’ve felt from Barry and Iris, but I felt it in this fic. Just. Damn.

17. never gets old by @brawlite & @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger| Stranger Things | Billy/Steve | 78k

Falling in love with a cam boy named KingSteve isn't the smartest thing Billy Hargrove has ever done, nor is it the most healthy -- but the good choice is rarely ever the fun choice, and Billy is all about living life fast and loose.

Heather Says: Told you I’d come back to it. brawlite and toastranger are a fantastic team. last year was cherry pie and under the covers, this year it’s camboys and cop/firefighter dynamics. Also, I have a really strange fascination with fics where a character has an instragram. It’s really, incredibly strange. Also also, every time I see this fic title I get that one Discovery Channel song stuck in my head. And no, it probably isn’t the one you’re thinking.

18. ways to save the world by @wildehacked | The Magnus Archives | Martin Blackwood/Jon Sims | 19k

“I left you,” Martin says softly.

Heather Says: And we’re back at wildehacked too! The Magnus Archives was a thing that happened to me. This is I think the first fic I read for it while listening, and it was so very close to what we got in canon. I think when it comes down to it though, I still prefer this fic, even if the ending of this season was pretty fantastic.

19. The Denial Twist by beethechange | Buzzfeed Unsolved | Ryan/Shane | 35k

“This is kind of surreal,” Shane says, taking a sip of his tea. It’s piping hot and delicious, except it tastes like hot chocolate and not like tea at all. “Sort of—Wonka-esque, right? Or Alice in Wonderland.”

Heather Says: While the vampire one is my favorite both because it is excellent and because it was my first, this one was bizarre and sexy and also I read it like only a month or so ago! The dancing was my favorite part, but having dreams to work with made this story fantastically interesting and I loved every second of it.

20. silver in our lungs by taywen | Spinning Silver | Miryem/The Staryk Lord | 4k

The marks had been with Miryem for as long as she could remember. There were a number of them, all the same shade, following one after the other around her left wrist. They were pale as old scars, though they felt no different from the rest of her skin, and her mother claimed that Miryem had been born with them.

Heather Says: I really like soulmate aus. There’s so many different ways to twist them and the way they can sometimes change the dynamic entirely and other times not change them at all is just fascinating. I’ve been hoping there would be more Spinning Silver content on ao3 and running into this while I was trying to decide what I wanted to do for yuletide was a real treat.

21. you got me begging, begging, i'm on my knees by plalligator | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 5k

Costis has a particularly enlightening evening. (or, that struggle when you're a guard who's in love with your rulers and it turns out you would kind of like it if they bossed you around a little)

Heather Says: I accidentally re-read the King of Attolia and it made me consider ships I had perhaps not previously considered. This was really lovely and just steamy enough.

22. something more alive than silence by pageleaf | The Queen’s Thief | Attolia/Eugenides/Costis | 21k

It was a good thing that six months after the king had promised to halve the guard, he still hadn’t done it, because since then, there had been two attempts on the king’s life.

Heather Says:��I want to only type the words AGONIZED NOISES to describe this fic because that’s basically my headspace when I get 21k of a shiny new ot3, but I mean. Really. This is super good and maybe my favorite yet? Why didn’t I start reading this fandom when I first read the books?

23. Timing it Right by DragonBandit | The Bright Sessions | Mark/Damien | 14k

The dragon chooses, Mark knows that as well as any boy born in a weyr. He'd never considered what that would mean if the dragon picked someone you hated. He's starting to think that was a mistake.

Damien's gold rises at Whitney. Mark tries to make things right.

Heather Says: This should actually be somewhere back in March, but I apparently closed out of the tab at some point. I never really got into Pern much. I have the first three books, but got most of the way through the first one a long time ago and then never picked it back up. I didn’t think I would like this, mostly because of the fact that I hadn’t gotten into the books, but was surprised to find that I absolutely loved it.

24. Keep It In Your Sights Now by LuckyDiceKirby | Shades of Magic | Lila/Kell/Holland | 9k

Holland travels with Lila and Kell. Somewhere along the way, they reach an equilibrium.

Heather Says: I love the new things I’ve discovered during my yuletide trompings. I don’t think I ever actually considered this pairing when I first read the books, but I am just so enamored with the idea of the three of them together. Like, why did I not realize that potential back then? This was lovely, and I loved it, and I want so much more out of this pairing than what ao3 has to offer me.

25. Charioteer by petrichoral | The Queen’s Thief | Gen & Costis | 13k

Captured in battle and stuck in the Mede capital, Costis has given up all hope of seeing his country again. But Eugenides has a habit of turning up where he's least expected.

Heather Says: Technically this shouldn’t be on here because I only read it today, but it was really wonderful and so canon typical. Gen and Costis were perfect in it, Irene was perfect in it. Everyone was perfect and nothing hurts.

[bma-2020]

POST-SERIES THINGS, HOW MALLY GOT TO THE OYSTER WORLD.

(Notice for spoilers to Sy/fy Alic/e if you haven’t watched it and care abt spoilers or smthn)

     WHICHEVER method of Mally during the miniseries we go with (Method one: She joins Hatter and Alice on their endeavors when Hatter goes to find her in the forest. Method two: She’s been trapped in the Casino for awhile, after Jack Heart finds out where she is, goes to interrogate Hatter, and she turns herself in to ensure he doesn’t get in trouble for it.) This is how it ends up.

As Bean pointed out in this one post from probably 2014 or so since I was already following bean by that point, that I will forever be linking to even tho Bean doesn’t write Hatter anymore n tries to hide the fact that Bean can do math better than basically everyone or at least me, before Hatter goes through the looking glass to find Alice, it’s at least three months in Wonderland time. That’s why he’s all healed up, has nicer hair, changed his hat, god better clothes, all that. 

Whatever happened, I do have it where Mally was with him during that time. Whether it’s the healing period from being trapped for so long, or just her trying to fix him up because he’s a wreck and in denial of being a wreck, either way, she’s not the kind to ditch her friend. Especially when the new king is the same dude who she was forcibly engaged to before she ran away, gaslit her, tried to convince her to ‘work with him’ and he could ‘convince his mother to let her go’ before she was sent down to the asylum, she’s not happy about the current royalty. That, on top of how he’s treated hatter in the past (I know the series doesn’t go into it but I highly highly highly doubt Hatter was that antagonistic towards Jack just out of jealousy and because he was the Queen’s son, it seemed a bit more personal than that. ) she ain’t about that.

But, she notices just about everything about Hatter. Now, of course, as much as I don’t say anything bc I don’t want ppl to be all ‘oh you’re trying to force ship’ when a: i’m not. b: unrequited shit. c: this was canon for her when I wrote w other hatters throughout 2013 or so through 2015, I didn’t say anything, I avoided saying anything, but Mally definitely has always had some kind of love for him. It’s in her nature, she is in love with Hatter, and she won’t say anything, so I don’t either. We all know how I am, I don’t even tell people when I do ship the muses and would wanna write it out cause yknow, I have massive anxiety about that and scaring people away so if I let them come to me abt it instead its not my idea first and I can’t be ‘awful or terrible’ for being a person yknow how it is. 

Anyways, she definitely would have noticed that he was missing Alice. And, while from how we know my writing goes, she has those reflections of the original wonderland, she has vague memories of the original alice ( which, in the version where she was taken by Jack and put back in the asylum, those memories expand a lot. Thus meaning, she remembers a whole lot more about the original wonderland because she can’t avoid it in that situation.) she liked Alice H, but she didn’t view her as the ‘legend’, she didn’t see her as an ideal, she honestly would have preferred if he wanted to go find the OG Alice, but long and behold.

She’d convince him to do what was best for him.

Even in the situation where he’d be trying to help her out of that trauma, she’d still tell him not to worry about her, because she only wants what would make. him. happy. 

And yeah, that fucks her up when he actually goes.

I don’t think she said that with the belief he’d actually go, so him actually going definitely wasn’t expected. She wouldn’t have wanted him to go, she wanted him happy, but I think inside she actually thought he’d just choose her over someone he knew for three days. That’s her headspace, don’t twist my thought process on this bc I actually ship this specific version of h/attice but mally would still be like ‘you knew her for three frickan days dude’

so she’s extremely not okay during the first few weeks after he left. Jack tried to contact her during that time, he’s still trying to get her to work with/for him, she’s not about that. Even in a completely damaged state of mind, she ain’t gonna go with Jack Heart for anything.

But, during that damaged period, is when the Cheshire Cat comes back. She’s talked to him before, he’s the only one with complete memories of the prior world and the current world, he doesn’t actually tell anyone anything. He talks to her about the Wonders. She does wander off to try and find the Vorpal Blade, and she does. In the process, she comes across Necros.

Necros spoke to her for a few moments, and ultimately when she said she didn’t want to be around him, he left her alone. One of the first people since Hatter to show her any ounce of respect like that, tbh. She does have a moment of time where she ends up in the Court of Swords, learns her mom is a Queen, all that jazz, realizes her own mother wants to use her for something, nothing pretty comes of that. 

But, within a few weeks, she ends up having a breakdown in the forest, she’s alone, she’s abandoned, nobody wants to help her, everyone she meets wants to use her, the one person she thought wouldn’t hurt her left her for a girl he knew for three days. and then Necros finds her, alone in the forest of Wabe, he doesn’t say anything to her, but he does offer her a hand, and she ends up going with him. That’s how she ends up coming to the underground.

Necros, Celeste, the underground just treats her nicely. She’s not used to it, she sees that nice treatment as a huge ‘what the fuck’ tbh, she’s just like ‘idk what’s happening rn but they arent hurting me so’ Necros has Monstrous Crow train Mally further, as Monstrous Crow can replicate others powers and helps them to fully achieve their ‘perfect’ status. From what she understood, they weren’t helping her to ‘use’ them, they were trying to help her not have to isolate herself anymore. With Monstrous Crow’s powers, they were able to develop a stronger version of her brother’s injectables that allowed others to touch her (as, March and Hatter were the only two that weren’t affected by her extremely cold temperature). 

This was a lot stronger than the one her brother developed. They made one that she could take instead. Granted, if she takes it, it weakens her excessively for days at a time, so Necros doesn’t recommend she take it over convincing whoever else to do it, cause they only need one injection and they’re done, never have to worry about it again. She’d have to do it every few days and it hurts her, they tried finding a way outside of that, because she could get to the point of her own power where she can stop it, but she’s not there yet. She might never get there. 

And, she chose to stay with them because the idea of completely getting rid of the Hearts family and bringing the true royalty back to Wonderland (the High Arcana, since the White and Red families weren’t around anymore, either finding a surviving relative fit to rule or convincing the court of fools to stop keeping away from it) and Mally actually made it go beyond that. She wanted Alice to come back and rule because nobody would be more fit to rule than her and Necros agreed, thus it seemed fitting to put her in charge of their operations in the Oyster land. 

Now, a lot of the underground are magical and they’re scientists. They learned methods to transfer back and forth from the oyster world without the time shenanigans that happen with others. This basically means that they can use the looking glasses they made to traverse back and forth and the time they spend in oyster land, when they go back to wonderland the same amount of time still passed. They went beyond the study of realm travel to ensure they didn’t lose anything. 

Monstrous Crow went with her, and the original idea was ‘saving’ oysters that... were better than average humans, and who were suffering in their realm and needed to be accepted, needed people to help them feel better about themselves, honestly because who better to convince to be on your side than someone longing for positive attention. Mally still helps with that, but she’s also going beyond that, and she’s trying to find out where Alice Liddell went. What happened to her. 

She knows that after 150 years of their time, it could have been more for the oysters, and she knows oysters dont live that long. But she also knows Alice wasn’t all human, that there was something supernatural about her that gave her the ability to control aspects of Wonderland. Therefore, she believes that she can’t be entirely gone. Part of her had to be reborn into someone or something else and that’s who Mally’s trying to find, particularly hoping that she’ll be like Mally is and have recollections of the past. That’s her main goal. 

But, there’s another goal she has too. She is actually trying to find Hatter. I think it’s more for closure on her end, to learn if he’s happy, see if his ‘ditching her’ made life better for him. That would lead to a lot more emotional spikes on her end cause, lbr, she’s gonna think abt the fact that he was only happy after leaving her behind, she acts extremely self confident but internally she’s a mess. 

[beanabouttown]

do you have any super fluffy flinthamilton fic recs? its one of /those/ days

do i EVER (yes, yes i do) 

super fuffy fic rec list down below! (since you said flinthamilton i have only included james/thomas fic, but let me know if you want some fluffy flinthamiltons fic and i can direct you towards some good stuff!) 

Like a ghost. by LittleHouseMouse

It’s the first morning on the plantation after the reunion and Thomas Hamilton is awoken by a sound.

it’s short but sweet and im always here for fic about the first time james and thomas wake up together after the reunion 

I Want To Take Care Of You by Magnetism_bind

James is ill and Thomas just wants to look after him.

post-reunion fluff! flashback to london-era fluff! this fic just makes me happy, and it’s got thomas reading to james, which is always a good thing

Moments by TheAssassinsGhost

“'I can’t believe the days turned into years. I hate to see the moments disappear…‘”

15,743 words, 4 chapters, one of my all-time favourites! various snap-shots into james and thomas’ life after leaving the plantation 

Reorienting by Palebluedot

“Thomas grabs ahold of his holy apparition with both hands and keeps him there, draws him nearer. Let them hold each other until they both bruise, he thinks fiercely, for tenderness needn’t always step light. Love owes them kind wounds.” 

this fucking fic - it’s one of those ‘oh god this is the best fic i’ve read in weeks’ fics. im going to rec a lot of audrey’s fics and they are all as good as this one

Too Fondly to be Fearful by Palebluedot

“A hint of youthful mischief blooms in Thomas’s crow’s-feet as he brushes their toes together beneath the bedcovers. 

“Fancy a moment’s fresh air?”James grins. 

Outside, the scent of the roses hangs heavy as perfume, mixes sweet with every breath of cool night breeze. Thomas settles next to him on the step, barefoot and smiling, his arm warm around James’s waist.” 

james and thomas stargazing in the middle of the night, post-reunion. it’s fucking beautiful and i love it so much 

Things That Grow by Palebluedot

“Weeding, pruning, watering – though the tasks seem never-ending, it’s pleasant, welcome labor, working at a gentle pace, James’s voice as constant as the sun on his back, the sweetness of the roses he tends.

~+~+~+~+~

Something of a companion piece to “Too Fondly to be Fearful,” but can easily be read separately.”

james reading to thomas! happy post-reunion fluff! 

Pathos and Logos by Palebluedot

He should have been on his way ten lost minutes ago. With a sigh, with a parting kiss to the corner of Thomas’s mouth, James at last rises, and the sheets wind tight around his legs. The mattress dips behind him just as his feet brush the floor, and unseen fingers loosely encircle his wrist, keep him perched on the edge of the bed just long enough for a clinging shadow to press against his back, hold him fast about the waist.

“Stay a moment longer,” comes the sweet whisper in his ear.

happy London-era fluff - thomas trying to stop james leaving the bed. the first day this fic was posted i read it something like ten times 

Tactile by Palebluedot

“When Thomas opens his eyes, they stare and stare and seem to shine. “I wondered often how this might look,” he murmurs, pushing an errant lock behind James’s ear, fingers tracing over the shell. He looks down at James, adoration writ plain across his face, warm as the candlelight, and this is all still so strange to James, so new.

~+~+~+~

Inspired by bean-about-townn’s post: “Imagine the first time Thomas sees James’ hair out of its ribbon” and a related conversation with blanketed_in_stars.”

okay basically i should just say at this point that audrey (@brightbluedot) is the queen of fluff

Homecoming by Palebluedot

“That smile grows, and Thomas shall never find the strength to disentangle himself now, so he holds on all the tighter – three months, three months stranded with only the memory of James’s face, God only knows how he survived. But no matter. Now that he’s home, Thomas intends nothing less than to reclaim each and every intimacy the sea stole from them.”

look. if you just ignore the fact that thomas is taken away to bethlem right after this, it’s the fluffiest fic you are ever going to read in your life. 

…but if you read it with that in mind, then it will break your heart. so be warned!

Something Old by Palebluedot 

““Do you remember the first time I brought you home for Christmas?”

“The only time, you mean.”

Thomas grins, eyes sparkling with a fondness James doesn’t recall that battlefield of a holiday deserving. “Fifteen years later, that’s still one of my favorite memories of you.””

modern au fluff after james and thomas get married! 

Eye of the Beholder by Palebluedot

“Open your eyes for me, love,” Thomas reminds him, voice husky, and when he does, the first thing he sees is Thomas’s reflected grin, hungry as the gaze that caresses every inch of skin from James’s parted, panting lips down to his flushed and leaking cock. “Just look at you,” he sighs in James’s ear before he trails imprecise, open-mouthed kisses back down to James’s throat.

~~~

alternatively, that time bean was like “so what if they fucked in front of a mirror” and I was like “shit what if they DID”

i still maintain that this 100% happened at least once. (porn. really, really amazingly written porn. and so very fluffy) 

A Stranger at his Door by theflowercrownedking

“Silver comes looking for Flint. Thomas answers the door.” 

not one for fans of silver, and i fucking love it. thomas is clever, thomas isn’t expected to forgive silver for selling james into slavery and leaving them both in the plantation, and it ends with james and thomas snuggled up together in bed. what’s not to love? (i saw this fic just when i went to go through my bookmarks on ao3 to make this list, and im gonna be honest with you anon, i read it twice through before i could get back to putting together these recs)

Keeping him Safe by theflowercrownedking

“In which James manages to keep his werewolf nature a secret, right up until the moment he has a nightmare and shifts in Thomas’ arms.” 

i mean there’s some angst when it changes to james’ pov, but thomas, as always, is a ray of sunshine who illuminates james’ tragic life and it’s beautiful 

The Throes of Fever by theflowercrownedking

“In which James is feverishly sick, and convinced Thomas is an angel sent to care for him.” 

…i went to try and find a quote to put here to show how wonderful this fic is, but. it was all so good i couldn’t pick a single thing, which means you will just have to take my word for it!

Cache of Gems: Tumblr Ficlets by AstronautSquid

“An ongoing collection of the occasional short scenes I write for tumblr.

Varying ratings, check the chapter title!” 

second chapter is brilliant porn, but the first chapter is fluff and i love it so much - and only partly bc it’s a little bit my fault 

i am absolutely happy to read fic of James just staring at the back of Thomas’ head for an hour. who isn’t?? 

kinky nsfw ficlet 1 by @complaininginthedark

Anonymous asked: for the kink thing - cockwarming, if youre into it? your writing is amazing btw

aaahhhhh thank you so much!!!! I’ve already played with the idea of cock warming for these two simply because I think James is a little touch starved most of the time and is easily overwhelmed and needs grounding a lot. So here is my take on it.

it’s so very fluffy and i love it 

“I’ll keep you safe” by @complaininginthedark

bean-about-townn asked: ooh, 66 (“I’ll keep you safe”) for flinthamilton, which would. also be great for aftercare after the reunion (sorry im obsessed with the concept now. ur last fic was too good i can’t stop thinking about it)

aaaaaaaaah i prompted this and it’s still one of my favourite bits of writing in the fandom 

Vulnerable by khazadspoon

James needed to feel the sharp sting of his hand, the bite of his teeth, the grip of ropes at his hands and feet.

And Thomas would do anything, anything, to give James peace. Even if that peace was brought through pain.

– Post series, Thomas takes care of James after a rough night. Aftercare and comfort because I love these two too much –

it’s so fluffy and beautiful and it’s one of my all time favourites. no explicit sex, though the implication is there

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! by NahaFlowers

It’s snowing outside and Thomas wants to go out and play in the snow, despite it being the dead of night. James’s protests are feeble at best - he can’t deny this man anything. Just cute fluff. Written for penflicks on Tumblr.

look. let’s be realistic. it doesn’t get much fluffier than thomas carrying james to bed 

Till Death Us Do Part by Palebluedot

And there’s that ache, and there’s that sweetness, and lord, James really would swear in the eyes of God that he cannot bear to live without him, wouldn’t he?

~+~+~+~

Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder: a triptych.

james thinking about marriage in london, nassau, and after the reunion. the first and third parts are the fluffiest fluff ever to fluff, but the middle will break your heart in the best way 

Something like Home by enthugger

Sober, James thinks that Thomas Hamilton is brilliant. He is safe and warm and his presence is a soft glow that brightens the ridged structure of James’ mind. Drunk, he believes that Thomas should own the goddamn world.

imagine me making a sound akin to the sound one makes when seeing a particularly adorable kitten, and you’ll get an accurate idea of my reaction to this fic 

you are a constellation by ohCaptain (AngryPirateHusbands)

fluffy porn about thomas appreciating james’ freckles, absolutely lovely! 

im sure there’s more but im tired now. i hope your day gets better soon anon!

[vissercomplex]

THATS VALID ITS VERY LONG AND SUCKS IN SOME PARTS BUT

i love the villain. his name is leland gaunt and he fuckign sucks i love him. he’s goofy and charming and Powerful and Terrifying. his whole shtick is going to different towns, opening a curio shop, that curiously has everything someone desperately wants, and trades them for a money price and a favor. these favors tend to be “pranks” to play on other townsfolk, that get increasingly more violent and cause confusion and misplaced anger between the townsfolk until the town wipes itself out

and he doesn’t lift a finger to do any of the violence himself 

when i first started reading it i immediately went ah. this is a ritual 

i just needed to figure out what power leland was. and his thing is both manipulation and perception but he couldnt be eye because i wanted a Crossover so that the tma gang wld go to america to Stop It 

he has a bit of slaughter (obviously), and a bit of beholding (��because knowing is my business”), and spiral (he has weird hands and a very distortiony effect when he makes deals) and stranger (hes a literal stranger and people tend to be physically repulsed by his touch bc of the inherent Wrongness), and a good amount of corruption, too, based on the sheer amount of times the heroes refer to leland as Poison (after they figure out what he is) but i settled on web. Because whats more web than wiping out entire towns based on twisting perceptions and manipulating folks into thinking that someone they actually hate dirtied their laundry or broke their windows or absolutely fucked up their car or left notes all over an embezzling politians house saying We Know 

also he has a few spidery themes such as Eating a Spider and giving an enchanted object to a woman that makes the pain in her hands go away, with a spider that grows from eating the poison in the necklace and illusions, and having a neat perception effect on people that caused an extremely killer line about when he grows big gross claws and the person hes attacking dazedly thinks “maybe they’d always been talons and he’d just never noticed”

anyways. now that we have the infodump out of the way. the gang goes to castle rock, maine, to stop a ritual thats about to kick off. the gang being almost directly post s3, because s4 had just started when i was planning this out, and consisting of jon (with his array of fresh beholding powers), martin (web-aligned, eye-aligned), tim (survived. stranger aligned/avatar and hates it), sasha (also survived, and has a few beholding powers herself that are based in intuition), basira (detective), daisy (still hunt), and melanie (still slaughter). i feel bad not shaping it so that its fitting with current canon because above all i want daisy and melanie to get that chance to Heal but. my chain of events wld get completely knocked out 

they interrupt the kickoff murders bc stephen decided to 1. kill one of the only characters i liked first and 2. did a stinky thing to incite it and i refuse to let that happen so sasha stops hugh from playing a very stinky prank by complete accident and daisy and melanie kill an abuser bhgfjbgk . this also lets me bring alan (sheriff) in faster bc alan owns and i like him . also lelands afraid of genuinely Good people and avoids them whenever he can so when the Gang hears abt the New Shop thats opened they immediately investigate bc . naturally. but its closed whenever they try (a team jon martin tim b team mel daisy basira w sasha jumping between but sasha is w b team when they try to investigate) 

anyways jon cant sleep one night a bit after this and takes a walk and is surprised to see the lights of Needful Things are on. he goes inside. a very tall, very charming old man with eyes curiously familiar (theyre an exact match to martins, but he cant quite pinpoint that right now). and leland pitches and jon buys. the item in question is a book full of answers. answers specific to jon. answers that are the Truth, according to leland, because. isnt jon sick of not Knowing whats going on? if the others are telling him the truth? if he can Trust people. doesnt he want to Know? and jon, stupid and under the influence of lelands weird calming effect, takes the deal

now when folks make deals with leland gaunt, it’s like he gets free access to their brainspace. once they shake (and ultimately, recoil from the Wrongness of the feeling) leland’s hand, the deal is done and he can become a metaphorical devil on your shoulder, a voice in your head, an impulse, and a guide on how to do Bad Things Well. he threatens and gives u nightmares if u dont do what he asks, he manipulates and tells you lies about what will happen if you dont follow Through. 

one more thing about lelands items. they all seem powerful, magical, something the buyer Needs. they seem too good to be true. perfect. but only through the buyers eyes. what hes actually selling is trash! he just disguises it using illusion. he twists perception. he can only do this for the buyer though, and to keep the illusion he puts the idea in the buyers head that they cant show this object to Anyone. they obsess over it and think about it all the time and Worship the item theyve bought, and the illusion can only be broken via a few ways, but the easiest way is Someone Else Sees It and points out thats it fuckign literal trash

cue jon buying the book, reading vague truths that are really all just confirming suspicions he had, but too vague to be accurate suspicions. they start out broad but get more personal, with the penultimate statement being “martin’s hiding something from you, jon.” ;^) 

before he gets there though, he backslides into his s2 paranoia. up until he reads that penultimate statement, up until he panics and confronts, up until martin bodily holds him back as basira pulls out the torn up dirty phonebook from under his pillow and goes uhhhhhhhhhh jon this is........what the fufck why do you have a yellow pages and jon just stops thrashing like huh 

i have More that continue to follow the timeline of the book and rises into a climax including what i think is a very spicy martin leland interaction but ive talked So Fucking Much alrdy and im sorry but ive been working on this crossover for months now and ive finally finished the stupid long book and now im at full power knowing how it ends so i can finally, finally figure out how to weave the tma gang into it. thank u zoe ily

someone ask me abt my thneedful things tma crossover

[bodega-daydream]

November 13, 2019

First it started off with me in the backseat of a car with my mom, nathan driving, samara in the passenger seat. I was trying to sleep but samara told me to stay awake with her for some reason. Like I think I was driving next or something? It didn't make sense. But I was tired cranky.  Then we arrive at Nathan's shitty monroe apartment with the weirdest roommates and no lock on the door, yet he preferred that to living at home. Then cut to me in the city. Apparently christmas deals are starting bc I wanted to get some face care stuff but it was all lumpy and not right but cheap. But then ellen and elise were like let's get piercings so I was like okay. But the lady that had done ellen was like no more, we're closed. But we were wondering around the stands looking at the jewelry and the old couple that owned the original stand was offended that we were flippant about who pierced us. I tried to convince them we were loyal so I was hanging out with them while they carved wax to make moulds for more stuff. I sang freebird but they weren't fans. They also werent great at carving, but I didn't say anything. Then ellen and elise shout from across the room and are like she got her piercing, come get yours! This was apparently another roommate we had. I came over and this lady had a better selection of jewelry and I was considering getting my upper lip pierced in the center. Which like, you do not get pierced at a pagoda in a basement lol but then it started storming outside. Like crazy rain. I was happy to be inside. We saw Katie from bulletproof walking by and she was shouting at us thru the big windows that there was a huge fucking storm hitting and to gtfo. I kind of walked parallel with her inside until we got to the subway entrance that was in chaos. Packed with people and pouring with water. The streets were all empty outside and you could see the rain pounding the pavement. We seemed to be in a time square like area bc the sky was all lit by the ads. And then someone was shouting and we all turned around to look at the back window and there was a massive forceful wave of water heading toward us. Everyone was screaming and running but it was pointless. The wave crashed thru the window and swept us all up and projected its forward. I honestly thought this was how I was going to die, but I think my brain censored itself bc the water cleared somehow and I was clutching the carpet floor. I started dragging myself forward to this kind of command post at the other end of the room that was seemingly unaffected. They were all discussing that it was kind of hopeless and that this was it. A major storm caused by climate change and we couldn't do anything about it. I had like zero hope or energy and was still crawling and sitting down. I got to the corner but low and behold, it was an elevator that was somehow still working even tho it shouldn't be. I was in it alone thinking this was the worst bc falling from like 30 floors up was a terrible way to go and I could do nothing about it. But luckily, this elevator only went up 5 floors and I figured a fall from there was survivable. The elevator was called to the 4th floor where there was an injured woman, her baby, and a Latina cleaning lady. No one could move much but I was like why did you call for the elevator over the stairs and she lifted her arm to show this craaazy gash. There were like, severed body parts laying around too. But not hers. Someone had been decapitated. She started crawling to the door and we were all trying to help her but once we were all in and moving back downstairs, she was like my baby! And we were all like nope it's literally just too late. We can't go back. I was considering going back up the stairs to get it, but everything was so unstable also idk how to hold a baby so I just didn't do that plan. Back down at the lobby headquarters, john mulaney was one of the officials. Weird, but I decided to leave the building. Not sure why. I opened the door and there was a group of people in the middle of the street that I was heading to, but the wind was so strong that I got swept away. I managed to grab onto the door handle of a duane reade and when the wind calmed down, I went inside for shelter and snacks. This duane reade had a bunch of kids in it that were trying to steal all of the tobacco products. I was wandering around hoping they wouldn't be annoying, trying to find the granola bars. The employees were still working for some reason. And then I see the manager sitting behind the counter with his feet up reading a magazine, John Oliver. I went over and was talking to him and asked if he wanted a beer from the fridge. He declined but said I could have the boots that were behind the counter if they fit. The winter boots were too heavy. Thought it might slow me down if I needed to run, but maybe weigh me down from the raging winds. Decided against them. He mentioned something to my right and it looked like a single rail track down a coal mine to hell. Casual. The things inside were so horrific and gory that I just didn't commit them to memory. Then i think justin Timberlake showed up to remind john of all the good times. And then Greta Van Thunberg showed up as if she and john had an old rivalry and he started going on a rant about whether or not he regretted every joke thing he's worked on knowing that this is how it would end. There was an Ariana Grande themed mini rollercoaster and that was a semi pleasant way to end the dream despite the end of humanity raging outside.

[andrewmilton]

Jordan

Compared with Egypt, Jordan was a breath of fresh air. Too fresh sometimes, as we were to find in Petra. Much less pressured.

The airport at Amman was modern and well-designed (by Norman Foster?) and entering the country was relatively hassle-free and even welcoming. Fairly straightforward getting the shuttle to the Northern bus terminal and thence a taxi to the Farah Hotel in the middle of the downtown, a place run by a genial patriarch.

The next day we polished off the compulsory sightseeing in Amman by climbing up to the Citadel where we were welcomed by the remains of and the views from the old Decapolis city of Philadelphia, before slaloming down to an impressive but heavily restored Roman theatre. And that was that. We could spend the rest of our time in Amman just chilling, without any pressure to do sightseeing or fend off attentions from what Amigo calls 'decoy men'. Although or because Amman didn't have much history, it was a good place to pass the time doing nothing very much.

We did, however, do a day tour northwards. We set off in two cars: Amigo with a chatty Australian and flegmatique Belgian in one, and two Milanese and me in the other. The first stop was Umm Qais, the ancient Decapolis city of Gadera, and the scene of the Biblical miracle of the Gaderene Swine:

"And when he came to the other side, to the country of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men met him, coming out of the tombs, so fierce that no one could pass that way. And behold, they cried out, ‘What have you to do with us, O Son of God? Have you come here to torment us before the time?’ Now a herd of many swine was feeding at some distance from them. And the demons begged him, ‘If you cast us out, send us away into the herd of swine’. And he said to them, ‘Go.’ So they came out and went into the swine; and behold, the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the sea, and perished in the waters." Matthew 8:28-32

Our demons having been undisturbed (ablative absolute?), we admired the panorama. Directly in front of us was the massive bulk of the Golan Heights, louring over the Sea of Galilee (where my namesake went fishing) and Nazareth to our left. To the right, were those parts of the Golan Heights still held by an uncannily peaceful Syria. The guide tried to persuade us that we could also see Lebanon in the far distance, but I wasn't convinced. But impressive, nonetheless.

Gardara itself was mainly remarkable for the black basalt from which its theatre and other public buildings (including a splendid Nymphaeum) were constructed. And we were told that Roman-era pedestrians were forbidden from walking on those parts of the main road where the paving was at diagonals to the kerb. They could only cross at the equivalent of zebra crossings. Never too old to learn.

Next step was the anti-Crusader castle of Aljoun, built by one of Saladin's generals (and nephew) at the end of what the Christians call the 12th Century. It was subsequently destroyed by Amigo's Mongolian ancestors in 1260, only to be almost immediately rebuilt by the Mamluks (Google them, a don't have all day!). What remains is quite spectacular and a kiddie's delight to explore. It was surrounded in dense fog when we arrived, which detracted from the views but insinuated an air of mystery.

Somewhere around this time, my car lost an Italian and gained an Amigo. The other car became a transport of delight for the Australian and Belgian.

The final visit of the day was to the old city of Jaresh (Roman: Gerasa, another city of the Decapolis (see comment on Mamluks, above)). I was unprepared for how huge the site was, used as I was to titchy little places like Londinium. From the entrance at the ornate arch of Hadrian, past the massive Hippodrome (no, Amigo, not hippos, horses! Hippopotamus means 'river horse’ in Greek..oh, never mind, it doesn't matter, not important!) to the strangely oval-shaped forum, this had been a seriously opulent metropolis, which supported an impressive array of temples etc. Wish we had had longer. Actually, we could have had longer, as we waited by the car for the last Italian to return 30 minutes later. Something else for which Amigo has never forgiven me.

On 1 January, I didn't wake up saying White Rabbits. Big mistake.

The hostel organised a car to take our Italian, Amigo and me on the scenic route to Petra, on 3 January. We stopped at Mount Nebo, from where Moses/Musa got his view of the Promised Land but couldn't get through border controls. The site is managed by Franciscan monks and includes a Byzantine church (don't ask, it’s complicated) with some pretty decent mosaics. The view was epical. The River Jordan ran from right to left into the Dead Sea. Directly ahead, you can see where a certain man might go down from Jerusalem to Jericho (couldn't resist reciting a parable I'd learned in Greek at school). Again, it all seemed very peaceful.

We then drove to Madaba, famous for its production of mosaics. Amigo was happy visiting St George's Church with its famous mosaic of the Holy Land; less happy to visit a shop where they were selling the things (although I was happy to learn a few tips about mosaic production).

At Karak, we exchanged our elderly but spry Palestinian taxi driver for a younger Jordanian one. We walked to the famous Crusader castle. Built in 1142. Captured by Saladin in 1183, after a mighty siege. Knocked about a bit thereafter by earthquakes etc, but still impressive. Had a hoot exploring the place. 1.50 dinars for two people to use the toilet. Negotiated down to one. Approx £1

And so to Wadi Musa, the doorkeeper of Petra, via a big new mosque featuring Saddam Hussein. Stopped at a checkpoint by charmless monoglot soldier. Passports taken. Luggage searched. All because our Italian fellow traveller looked like an Arab. Or so our driver said.

Awful start in Wadi Musa. Valentine Inn reception unfriendly. Wanted to charge us 5 dinars extra if we wanted heating in our room. Amigo later got into an argument because the room didn't have the promised bathtub. I left him to it, only to be caught in a power cut. Amigo had to fight for a place in the kitchen to cook. Not so much the doorkeeper of Petra, as its Cerberus.

Cheered up the next day when our hotel shuttle bus took us to Petra. Having been stung at the Pyramids, we turned down all offers of animal transportation. Walked through the gorge to be confronted by the famous Treasury and various mountebanks. Paid due reverence to the scene and turned right into the main valley and a bitterly cold wind, for which I was under-dressed. Persuaded Amigo to keep to the easily accessible sites (the 'High Place of Sacrifice' seemed especially unnviting), and leave the rest to the next day. Was happy to pay a dinar for a coffee and a chat with some Bedouin over their hospitable brazier.

Apart from that multidirectional wind, it was great to explore the temples and tombs of that rose-red city. Peculiarities included a small Greek-style theatre inside a massive temple complex. Lunched under a bridge, like trolls. Wandered about a bit more. Then home earlier than expected.

The next day, I had to deliver on my promise. At least I came dressed for the wind. So it rained as well. As we headed up to the royal tombs to the right of the main valley, a gust of wind whipped off part of the roof of a Bedouin shelter. A wooden plank hit my on my backpack. More surprised than hurt.

I delayed as much as possible the big challenge: the slog up to St Catherine's Monastery. The guidebook said it was a 40 minute walk. The purveyors of donkey rides claimed it was an hour. They weren't far off. Mercifully, the rain and the wind held off. I hated the climb. But pleased that I had lost enough weight since last year to make it feasible. And the views as we ascended were gratifying.

"Hidden high in the hills, the Monastery is one of the legendary monuments of Petra. Similar in design to the Treasury but far bigger (50m wide and 45m high), it was built in the 3rd century BC as a Nabataean tomb. It derives its name from the crosses carved on the inside walls, suggestive of its use as a church in Byzantine times." Lonely Planet Guide.

So we lingered, took photos, took photos for other people, commiserated with American women who survived the ascent by donkey and was dreading the descent.

"you’re better off walking coming down as the donkeys travel fast and the way is steep and slippery, making for an uncomfortable and at times dangerous journey for both you and your mount." Lonely Planet Guide. I kept that from her.

We ate our picnic in a suspiciously smelly tomb with a view (note to self: next time, eat the picnic before climbing up the mountain). Amigo helped me with the more scary parts of the way down. And thence to the hotel.

The hotel advertised a 5 dinar bus to Aqaba. So up early the next day to be taken to the bus station only to find the bus was going nowhere because there were no other passengers crazy enough to brave the dense fog. Just as we were contemplating spending another night in Wadi Musa, the bus driver offered to take us to Aqaba for 35 dinars for two. We accepted. An eerie ride through a hidden desert. The fog finally cleared and we fell upon Aqaba in sunshine to an imagined soundtrack from Lawrence of Arabia.

It's been good in Aqaba, taking a break from sightseeing and getting therapy from the beach and from Carrefour, as we steel ourselves for the crossing into Israel. We have seen the Promised Land. But are we going to make, like Aaron? Or fail. Like Moses.