#and if I'm real w yall i nearly didn't

[butch-reidentified]

Tomorrow (Tuesday for those in varying time zones) is my birthday!! It's also a special birthday in the community I'm from for some dark and depressing reasons I won't get into in the main post, but it's a big celebration, and my friends are planning something for memorial day weekend for me 🥰

[uter-us]

service worker radfem ramble - "karen"

i don't care if there are 100 snippy women or "karens" at work because every single man that is a bad customer is SCARY. I can be annoyed w a rude or bossy female/woman customer, but only a grown ass middle aged man will yell at some tiny 16yr old girl at 9:56pm on a tuesday in the dark outside for closing the boba shop 4 minutes early. (this was a real experience. fyi my manager was inside and was the one who told me to lock the door! i was following my manager's orders!!!)

im 17 and just quit my restaraunt job, and I noticed there are a lot more pissy irritable female customers than male ones, but you know what else I noticed? who was holding the baby? who ordered for the kids? who was on the phone managing plans?

even outside of the restaraunt, time and time again we see women carrying the family (figuratively and literally), doing the domestic labor, juggling schedules, even carrying the emotional load of her husband. women have it HARD, so honestly I'm going to be patient, because I have to consider all of the invisible labor women do, and if a woman is tired and irritable and pissy after all of that (every damn day) then who am I to judge her?? she can be mad her food had onions she didn't ask for, or she only got two sauce packets instead of three. women's lives are laborious, and if at the end of the day they are worn out and impolite, im literally not gonna cry about it

also side note but at my restaraunt job every day one of my male coworkers (he was in his 50s probably) would touch and hug and wrap his arm around me and make weird jokes to the customers about me and constantly tell me and my other coworkers that I was sosoososo pretty and polite and such a "good girl"-- literally I will take an annoying female customer over THAT creep any day. (that gross grown man was part of the reason i left!) at my job before that at the boba shop, I had a p0rnsick coworker who would insert weird k1nk references and call me and my other female coworker bitches and cunts, and then in the next breath talk about how he's into degrading women during sex. me and the other girl my age would sit and talk on our shifts together about how we wondered if he thought about calling us those names when he m4sturb4ted. YUCK!

i understand that it's the norm to have "karens" and annoying customers that are women, but let's be real yall, we can simultaneously know its important to be kind to service workers AND recognize that those women aren't doing nearly the damage the harassment and intimidation (sexual and otherwise) men do to women. I will take a "karen" over any of those men any day

[jessybarnes]

Again congrats on the 500 followers!

💎 - just because i want to talk to you about "Stay"

First and foremost, I must say I can't comment much about your writing skill in terms of the use of "pretty words" and all, because i myself is new at writing. so i'm not nearly qualified to judge but!! What i can comment on is how you make feel throughout the fic. With that said, I will be needing you to compensate me because a heart has been broken. You have triggered the melancholy side of me and damn does it shatter my heart to pieces. I love me some one-sided love angst; I mean I always like reading how unrequited love is written. Like, the pain, the longing, the joy that laced with doubt, everything about it. And the way wrote it!! Just muahh *chef's kiss*. Now the three things I always love in my stories (whether in reading ot writing) are angst, fluff and smut. And the fact that you have these is also another reason why i love it!! I don't know what else to say so why not we go through some reaction that you pulled out of me.

Here's some real reaction that went through when reading this fic:

Your warning of "out of character bucky"

oh please, emotional or not, we love him regardless. Tbh it is nice to see diverse characteristic from bucky, like he does in this fic. It expand my imagination to interesting possibilities 💫

You immediately choked on the cereal, the milk going down the wrong pipe making your face turn a deep red.

The whole scene was fucking relatable i would spil everything in my mouth if i saw him like that too 😩🤌🏼

"..the moment you stepped off that elevator the first time, my heart was yours. It chose you, James. You."

The imagery in my head was too beautiful that I fell in love with bucky... again!

By the time you were finished, tears were sliding down your cheeks onto the paper. You took a deep shaky breath and tried to stifle your sobs.

This. This pain. Yup. This is what why I love reading unrequited angst 🥀

"I ruin everything I fuckin' touch…" 

You can ruin me any time baby. Sorry, sorry. I was trying to distract myself from the pain 😭

His voice was firm, and it eerily resembled the tone he had when he was the Winter Soldier all those years ago.

Oooofff chills down my spine yall. Like imagine his eyes went void for just a split second there, so fast that Steve didn't manage to notice. Damn.

"A woman named Y/N Barnes was life-lined here. I need to see her."

*Gasped loudly* Excuse mee??? Am i your wife now?? When did we get married and how come I forgot??

"She's my wife!" 

Wait. Wait. WAIT!! I am??!!! Omg am i married??!! To you?? (Not me talking to bucky as if he can hear me)

"Alright, I gotta ask… since… uh… when did Y/N become your wife, mate?"

EXACTLYYYYY. THANK YOU FOR ASKING!

"I w-was always scared. Scared to let you in, because I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want him to take you from me"

I'd do anything to have the soldat's cameo. Even if its just an allusion of him.

He would tell you stories from the ‘40s and at night Bucky would read to you.

I am a simple girl. I just want bucky to tell me stories of his past and read to me in my sleep. I'll die happy. 🤧

Then you woke up to Bucky and wait,… husband?! 

*gasped in shock* we really don't know when we got married do we?

"I lied and said you were my wife so they'd let me see you." 

God he is so dramatic and i love him so much 😭💞

"You like that, doll? Do you like when I kiss you here? Gonna mark your pretty skin so everyone knows you're mine." 

Yes please 🧎🏻‍♀️🥺

Can't comment much on the smut because it was amazing I just forgot to jot down my reaction.

You kissed the tip of his nose and rested your head on his chest so you could hear his heartbeat.

I love soft kisses in fics. Giving or receiving. Please i just want to pamper every part of his face and body with all of my kisses.

You were finally home.

Urghhh such a classic line yet as powerful as ever.

So that conclude my long-ass ranting 😂

And just so you know, I have gone through all your bucky fics. I will properly reblog them when I have the time. With that said, I want to give special shoutout to another fic you wrote call "Unexpected Saviour" because it was so cute, I love Cadence so much; I want to blow raspberry against her cheeks.

Anyway, thank you for writing such amazing works, I enjoyed my time reading them. And I hope you will enjoy mine as well! Looking forward to hear from you soon! Until then, I'm sending virtual kisses and hugs!

– yinn 💙

BABY OH MY GOD 😭😭😭😭😭

PLEASE I AM SOBBING AT WORK, I- 🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️

I can't even begin to explain to you how much this means to me. The amount of detail, research, tears, and dedication I put into Stay is monumental.

But this? This breakdown and detail of how you reacted? This blew me away and I cannot even tell you how happy this made me.

Unexpected Savior is actually about my daughter. She is in love with Bucky and has been since she was very young. She's almost 12 now, but I know for a fact that if Bucky was real and that scenario happened in real life she would do that. She'd defend him just like little Cadence did. (Cadence is actually her middle name 😅). And because I can't pass up an opportunity to gush about how cute my baby girl is, she wanted to propose to Sebastian for her birthday last year and I actually took her to meet him at New York comic con last October. She proposed, he said yes, and I recorded the autograph session. You can watch that video here. ❤️

But back to you, you amazing, beautiful, talented, sweetheart... I just... I'm speechless. I...I love you and I...I just...thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me and reblogging my stuff and participating in my writing challenge and just...thank you for everything. 🥺❤️

Do you want to participate in my 500 Followers Celebration? Click here to join! ❤️

[fighting-these-demons]

Headcanon for the AU Be Upon Ye

Yall I swear I wrote down the details of my Mr. Kuwenma headcanon for the STBAU and how Mr. K*wab*ra is a former Spir*t Det*ctive and his connections with the Shoun*n B*mb*rs and how Spirit World Affairs lead to the death of K*zuma amd Sh*z*ru's mom but I CANNOT FIND IT

😫😭💔

There was a cute romance when Mr. K*wab*ra was a teen/young adult that ended as Mr. K*wab*ra outgrew him please trust meeeeeeeeee.

Basically though:

Ko*nm*'s Teen/Young Adult form is his REAL form.

Mr. K*wab*ra dies young trying to save a classmate that had tried to commit suicide. (Tried to catch someone that jumped from the roof)

Due to Family History and established connections resulting from it to Makai, Spirit World, and Ningenkai he's kind of The Worst Possible Candidate for this... but they don't have a place for him yet so they offer the position.

He doesn't know either of his parents because he was dropped at the orphanage by young and desperate G*nk*i and ends up being a Nearly Perfect Spir*t Det*ctive.

He's the best they've got. They're also keeping secrets from him the same way they end up doing with S*ns*i and Yus*ke though.

He works alongside Koenma and characters from Sh*un*n Bak*so*zok* for his work because he was already friends/friendly acquaintances with them before becoming a Spir*t Det*ctive .

Anyway there was more but. Koenma ends up falling for Mr. Kuwabara who returns those feelings for a while..... but Mr. Kuwabara ages while Koenma does not.

Eventually they split. Ko*nma is furious for a while and kicks him out of his Spirit Detective roll.

Mr. Kuw*b*ra didn't graduate and doesn't have a work history that makes any sort of sense anymore. He's like 26 with no prospects and no options.

What he does have are clairvoyance, and a staggering amount of spiritual energy that he was given the ability to tap into.

(Ko*nma didn't take that from him because if he really wanted to he could find his mom and learn to harness it anyway... and he may hate his guts right now but he doesn't want him to get hurt by any old enemies that may try to come after him)

Mr. K*wabr*a ends up turning to Regular Yakuza life using his skills to help. He's The Ghost of Sarayashiki.

Eventually though his past catches up to him.

And the bit thats in the main STBAU post happens.

Ko*nma is later turned into a Toddler as punishment after the incident that occurs with K*z*ma's mom.

After they get things sorted to an extent, Mr. K*wabr*a understandably doesn't want to speak with Kon*ma.

So as Ko*nma is sitting in the aftermath with B*tan throughout the years, he thinks about how he wants to at least be friends with Mr. K*wab*ra again, and how no matter what he'll try to do SOMETHING right with this family.

He ends up with Kaz*ma as an unofficial Sp*rit Det*ctive alongside Yus*ke and he ends up reviving Gn*kai after allowing her to have a meaningful Goodbye with Y*unger Tog*ro.

And he does his best to work on getting past the red tape to restore B*tan's memory.

Everything he could possibly do.

He'll never undo what happened with Kaz*ma's mom, but he can do his best for the rest of the K*wab*ra family tree.

Mr. K*wab*rab didnt hate him after the breakup. He understood what was going to happen before he broached the subject. He did get very understandably bitter for a few years after the murder and the fire, but he was also grateful for Ko*nma's help that night and improved secrity after.

Eventually they both fall back onto nostalgia and missing each other. Then Ko*nma's original form is restored and he also gains the ability to change forms.

(Although at this point I think Mr. K*wab*ra cares more about the heart beneath and the friendship and love they had than about his discomfort with his teen/Young Adult looks)

Sorry if it's long and rambly and circles back on itself. I'm exhausted lol.

Hey at least it's mostly typed.

As for the lyrics:

Ko*nma

Mr. K*wab*ra

I didn't think you'd understand me How could you ever even try?

I don't want to tiptoe But I don't wanna hide But I don't wanna feed this monstrous fire

Just want to let this story die And I'll be alright

We can't be friends But I'd like to Just pretend

I cling to my papers and pens Wait until you like me again

Wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

Me and my truth we sit in silence

Baby Girl it's just me and you (Botan is baby girl lmao)

Cause I don't wanna argue But I don't wanna bite My tongue yeah I think I'd rather die

You got me misunderstood But at least I look this good

We can't be friends But I'd like to Just pretend

I cling to my papers and pens Wait until you like me again

Wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I know that you made me I don't like how you paint me Yet I'm still here hanging

Not what you made me Something like a daydream But I feel so seen in the night

So for now it's only me And maybe that's all I need

We can't be friends But I'd like to Just pretend

I cling to my papers and pens Wait until you like me again

Wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love

Heard this song for the first time today and my mind is trying to make the Square Peg of Mr.Kuwenma fit into the Round Hole of this song and in order to do so I'd have to edit the lyrics slightly.

But like. Idk I've got brainworms.

Ok Headcanon forming and incoming will edit as I get more.

Ok so Lyric edits:

I didn't think you'd understand me How could you ever even try?

I don't want to tiptoe But I don't wanna hide But I don't wanna feel this monstrous fire

Just want to let this story die And I'll be alright

We can't be friends But I'd like to Just pretend

I cling to my papers and pens Wait until you like me again

Wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

Me and my truth we sit in silence

Baby Girl it's just me and you (Botan is baby girl lmao)

Cause I don't wanna argue But I don't wanna bite My tongue yeah I think I'd rather  die

You got me misunderstood But at least I look this good

We can't be friends But I'd like to Just pretend

I cling to my papers and pens Wait until you like me again

Wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I know that you made me I don't like how you paint me Yet I'm still here hanging

Not what you made me Something like a daydream But I feel so seen in the night

So for now it's only me And maybe that's all I need

We can't be friends But I'd like to Just pretend

I cling to my papers and pens Wait until you like me again

Wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love My love I'll wait for your love

I'll wait for your love I'll wait for your love I'll wait for your love I'll wait for your love I'll wait for your love

[kyuala]

.

[butch-reidentified]

This past year has tried to claim me more than once, and come terrifyingly close to success. I posted some about my near-death experience where I went to what I called the Hazy Space, but my heart briefly stopping for that minute and change was only the worst close call of the past year, not the only one. If there's one message I want to send going into Year 28 (age 27), it's that the universe and some of its people need to learn I'm going fucking nowhere. I'm damn near unkillable. I got a lotta shit left to do and I could give a fuck how you feel about it. Tell the reaper I'm coming for his job 😘

Tomorrow (Tuesday for those in varying time zones) is my birthday!! It's also a special birthday in the community I'm from for some dark and depressing reasons I won't get into in the main post, but it's a big celebration, and my friends are planning something for memorial day weekend for me 🥰