#and idk there's still a lot of reminders

[wastemanjohn]

on the subject of how friend breakups hurt just as much as romantic breakups... i'm sure someone was on the subject somewhere lmao... i'm having sads tonight even if it was fucking ages ago technically and its my own fault bc I read through some messages idk why i havent deleted... or why i did that. meh. i need a good everything shower and an early night.

[heartorbit]

make a wish! 🍃

happy 1st anniversary, in stars and time 🤍

[lucabyte]

Perceptive kid, I wonder just how much they pretend not to overhear.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

evo doodling

[territorial-utopia]

Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)

Sure has been a year.

[aq2003]

really love how throughout a lot of smith and jones martha is really skeptical and apprehensive towards ten (+ one of my favorite exchanges between them - "what, people call you 'the doctor'?" "yeah?" "well, i'm not. far as i'm concerned, you've got to earn that title."), not taking everything he says at face value, even doubting the fact he's an alien until over halfway through the episode.. And like. i really truly think the thing that wins her over isn't him kissing her or any of the other insane mixed messages he manages to send, it's this scene here, where he /earns that title/ in her eyes:

(+ david's bit in the commentary, where he says: "[the doctor] has actually sacrificed himself, and - i would say, that that final act of selflessness is what finally, eventually, welds martha to him. [...] and she now returns it. she returns that act of selflessness.")

this is what their relationship is built on. it isn't about martha being the second-best replacement to rose or a rebound or whatever. bc it isn't really about rose. it's about doctor-in-training martha meeting someone (quite literally, "the doctor") whose ideals she aspires to, and doing her best to be the same person to him as he is to everyone else. it's about ten in return admiring her intelligence and inquisitiveness and how she cares for human life, recovering his compassion, letting himself lean on her for support - and then remembering at the most inopportune moments that he's supposed to not need anyone and be on his own forever. And around in their little nightmare loop they go where they save each other over and over until one of them breaks

i've seen ppl look at martha and go "why she does she admire/why is she so in love with ten if he acts like that to her?" or something along those lines and like. it's not just the fact she's in love with him (in fact i'd argue she actively tries to push it aside post-gridlock). it's the fact that she knows he's the kind of person to put everyone else's lives/well-being over his own. she trusts him to save her when she's in trouble even though it's been like two days at most that they've known one another bc she recognizes that same "deep all-encompassing drive to help others" in him. and she also recognizes, much much earlier than him, that he needs someone to save him, especially when he's unwilling to save himself. and yeah for a bit she thinks he returns her feelings and is just playing hard-to-get, but she realizes pretty early on that this probably isn't the case, and i think that realization fully solidifies here:

(this is when she's listening to ten talk abt gallifrey). And idk it might just be me but i think this expression isn't just her empathizing with his loss. it's also guilt, for wanting something from him that he's clearly unable to give when he's wracked with so much grief. (and you see it in the next episode, where tallulah asks if they're together and martha says for certain that they're not, and that he doesn't know about her feelings for him. she keeps everything to herself bc she now knows that when he shut her flirting down at the end of 3x01 it was the genuine reaction of someone who a) isn't interested and b) is scared of getting close with someone else again)

freema described their dynamic as "she's keener than him" and i think about this all the time. martha doesn't really take what ten throws at her. what she does instead is constantly poke holes in his already-failing front of "i will show someone the wonders of the universe so i can ignore what is wrong with me". what she does is stand up and fight him when he tries to go off on his own. what she does is put aside her well-being in favor of helping someone - just like what she saw him do for the people in the hospital when they first met. tldr, that's the doctor and his doctor and rip martha you would've loved who's gonna save u now by rina sawayama

[riickgrimes]

man rivals is GOOD like i know soap operas still exist but it is literally a modern day soap opera everyone is cheating on everyone with each other, friendships and partnerships are constantly tested as alliances switch and change, there’s some truly scummy reprehensible characters that you kinda love to hate, and it’s all set around british television production companies in the 1980s like it really just pulls you in so easily and you can’t put it down

[skunkes]

[kaiserouo]

(prev)

i colored that

[waitineedaname]

hey. did shen yuan ever accept new disciples to qing jing peak. do you think it ever happened while luo binghe was living at the bamboo house. do you think he poured his shizun tea when the new disciples were welcomed and watched, worried despite knowing shen qingqiu is different now, worried that the new disciples might receive the same kind of welcome he did -- and then irrationally jealous when shen qingqiu welcomes the new disciples with nothing but warmth and kindness, wondering how he made such a bad impression on his shizun and these kids didn't

[faunandfloraas]

im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism

yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm

[mushroominaforest]

Last year, during an atmospheric river (fuck ton of rain) I was sitting inside and I got this really weird feeling- a YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW feeling. So I left my house (generally a bad idea in a storm like this), and waded out onto my road. It was pouring and really windy, but my road was only like, half a foot deep under water so I wasn’t too worried about the flooding yet. I turned back to look at my house and right at that second as I skillfully dodged flying branches, I watched a tree jump into the air, do a little spin, and then fall on my house.

It was a crazy sixth sense feeling- like I had no good reason to leave the safety of my house during the start a goddamn flash flood, but for some reason I felt very strongly that I needed to get out of there.

(For the sake of not doxxing myself I won’t show my house, but have some very cropped and blurry photos bc I want to prove that I’m telling the truth lmao)

(The last one is a photo of the very tip of the tree sticking out of my roof lol, these photos were taken after the flooding had all gone)

Anyways, I was home alone, so I splish-sploshed my way to my friends house and chilled there. Then I panicked bc I didn’t know where my cat was, so me and my friend went back outside and got to my house (at that point we might as well have been swimming lol). We found my cat hiding in the basement thankfully, so we left again, but on our way back we ended up trying to help our neighbour because her house was flooding. So we were standing in almost waist deep water, armed with rakes trying to unclog her storm drain. That was a crazy day lol

[valnyte]

Touko Kuzuha Route Review

a few things of note:

I mainly play the adult version; I have an alt account but it is the regular version)

I chose the 妖艶 ending as it was the one showed for the previews (at least in the adult PV); I can confirm that this end does continue to Kuzuha's current Christmas story event story

Based on the way my uni structured its Japanese language classes, I can only say my Japanese fluency level is around 中級 level but still kept a dictionary app by my side

I am not a translator and I will not be translating his route

keep in mind that this is MY opinion, you are free to have your own and read his route as you wish

Plot: 3.5/5 ★

Kuzuha as a character: 4/5 ★

Kuzuha as a partner in a romantic relationship: 1.5/5 ★ (I am being generous)

Kuzuha when it comes to smutty situations: 8/5 ★

MC: 2/5 ★ (Again, I am being generous)

Personal route enjoyment: 3.5/5 ★

tw: dubcon, self-harm

MASSIVE spoilers up ahead so read at your own risk

If I were to summarise his route in one statement its: one-night-stand turns into a friends with (medicinal) benefits relationship that becomes a situationship until these dumbasses finally learn that direct communication is perhaps the IDEAL solution.

Can you see why I want to squeeze him?

Starting with plot, it reads like a fluffy and spicy story, heavily focused on the situationship they landed themselves in which has the air of a romcom. Seriously MC, you just let this guy who you don't know very well crash your apartment and live with you? Just because you slept with him once and found him petting a fluffy cat later on? Kuzuha is incredibly unserious as well for the most part but it is entertaining to see whatever the hell he is up to with MC, if he's going to tease her or spoil her - albeit, usually in bed. Though truth be told, I could not really see much of the romantic chemistry between them, mostly sexual chemistry and understandably so. For a romcom-y theme, I was not expecting something too high stakes but I was actually kept at the edge of my seat once the story hit around the 3/4 point as something I did not even consider an eventual side plot would turn into. Everything before the 3/4 point was very rom-com with a side of magical healing. Storywise, things sped up really quickly after that point, but so did the resolution. I had no issues with the pacing thus far, but the resolution was a bit fast. Nevertheless, it was entertaining, and I will do his route again after hopping unto a fresh route.

Next, Kuzuha himself. Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy. Wow, you really are a mess with a pretty face. His character profile labelling him "trash" [クズ] is not a joke in the slightest, he is one, and hell, he knows it with zero remorse. Even Tsubaki shit talks to MC in private that Kuzuha is a bit of a shit and neither of them will ever deny it. It makes sense that little pretty trashy kitsune becomes jealous of Ryo once MC brings the topic of her new co-worker/childhood classmate/first crush up. And it is because he knows deep down, he's not that reliable at all, save for his healing magic and his abundant sex appeal.

However as much as I will affectionately clown him, he does have his reasons why he's flippant, and everything ties back to him as the Kuzunoha kitsune. As kitsune, his liver is hunted down for the fact it has high healing capabilities, he has been hunted down in the past (by humans and youma alike) and even in the present (only by youma now), he does dislike the fact he is only seen as useful for this healing aspect. Not to mention physically painful with how parts of his liver have to be taken away and despite his highly regenerative state, its taxing to do. Moreso when it is not by his free will. Next, he is Kuzunoha from legend - there are many variants mind you, but Cybird x DMM did their own spin on it. TLDR how the legend is explained ingame: more than a thousand years back while he was being hunted down in fox form, he was caught in a trap, and he was set free by Abe no Yasuna. As gratitude, Kuzuha transformed into a beautiful woman and lived with Abe no Yasuna and the child of the latter, taking on the role of woman of the house/step in mother. A few years passed safely but then one day, Kuzuha's true identity as kitsune was revealed, and thus was chased out from the home, never seeing them again.

This then led him to the conclusion: "Love is not reciprocal. Either you take it, or it is taken from you."

Ouch.

And he does live with this conclusion set in stone for more than a thousand years until he meets MC and does not realise he is actively falling for her as the weeks go by when living with her. "Love is a one-way road," he said at the beginning. Not in this otome game, sir, it's only a one-way road because you're fictional.

All that aside, he has some very heartwarming sides to him. Despite his devil may care attitude and his love is never returned beliefs, he cannot change the fact he's genuinely compassionate towards others. It is bittersweet to read him filled with so much empathy for others cannot understand himself at the slightest. Healing MC's inability to sleep well in a very unconventional way when she didn't even ask for it at the start, to the point of actively being the one to stab himself to get a piece of his liver out to help save someone's life because he knows firsthand the pain and difference of a youma and human relationship. Characters who are a living irony of themselves am I right?

Not to mention that gentle side of his is further explored once he genuinely starts considering MC as a romantic partner. Still a big tease though .

But it does not mean he is entirely exempt from his flaws. I will address something that I did have issues with since the start: he technically coerced MC into going further with him in their first chapter. She was unsure about having sex with him at first but just a few heated moments later, one thing led to another then yup they screwed. By the time she realised it, it was too late as they already did the deed and she was shortly angry with him. Narrativewise, she was technically trapped in a "fuck him or your spirit disappears when the incense fully burns out" but he only told her that AFTER instead of the BEGINNING. Kuzuha... That is A CHOICE to make, and not a good one - considering you were the one who gave her the incense sticks in the first place 💀 Not entirely comfy with that situation even if he treated her gently. Sure he's the gentlest suitor in the starter pack, but that's just a little bit hmmmmmmmmmm. He has other flaws as well but that is my biggest gripe with him.

Would I consider him as a good romantic partner? Not exactly on that thread given how he has boundaries he wants respected but does not respect others' boundaries. He has a full point for actively looking out for MC and listening to her and responding to that at least. But he is 100% not the type of guy MC can show to her parents and get instant approval for a few other glaring issues.

This is how I see him maybe meeting the parents going in my head:

"So how did you meet?"

"Um..."

"What's your job?"

"Haha, about that-"

When it comes to sexy times in his route, there's a lot of very intensely heated moments, given his nature and the fact he's 90% in close proximity to her because he ends up living with her like a roommate/friend with benefits. Mugenro by itself has very lengthy sex scenes, and partially voiced so yes please do not be like me who forgets to turn down the volume 💀 He is a big tease, but once he knows how desperate she is, oh he's rewarding her a hundred times over. He's skilled, good grief, he knows it and makes use of everything he knows to send anyone to high heaven. Also outdoor sex does happen in one of the avatar challenges, yes I got it because I was curious and I am damn well not regretting it. Just saying, his voice getting raspy had me going, I need to hear this at home. Alone. Ehe.

Ok enough about Kuzuha, time to turn to MC. Girl... Because why. On one hand, I actively like the fact she's quite possessive towards him at the end, directly telling him there's a boundary he should never cross with her and he listens. But for the rest of the time, sweetie, there's a fine line being nice and then being trodded underfoot. And where is your common sense girl, you barely knew the guy and you're letting him crash at your place immediately? She has all the position to refuse him but nooooo. I cannot blame her for being attracted to Kuzuha with his debonair charm, but I do want to wring her like laundry sometimes with how downright idiotic she can get. Even she's not safe from being scolded by Kuzuha himself for running into a very dangerous situation. Maybe sit down with the blindfold from seeing the red flags for a moment and maybe come to terms with the different lifespans for a bit. Even just a little bit. I will give her a full point for taking on the usually active role instead of being passive and letting him make the decisions for her as she is more decisive than this free-spirited fox, but otherwise, ma'am you have a brain, don't let it waste away.

Overall, I did enjoy Kuzuha's route and will do it again to full clear everything, just not now. Not my true cup of tea, but he is arguably the nicest of the suitors so far and I am glad I read his route first. And because he's cute. If I make a plushie of him, he's going to become my new stress toy.

Have a blushie Kuzuha for the end:

K, bye.

[thedreadvampy]

sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

[shannonsketches]

He said "Fuck this shit, I'm out" I'm crying. Toriyama's Vegeta was so top shelf 🤌

(From Neko Majin Z Chapter 5!)

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

i can't tell if i'm just not paying attention or if mouthwashing just doesn't make any sense