#and idk if it would be New Art or just already shared art with out the colors

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

[wall-eye]

ive been looking into zine stuff a little bit recently for reasons, and i got a comment/compliment on my art once that i keep thinking about that compared it to a coloring book so

[starkwlkr]

beautiful boy | cillian murphy

do I know anything about labor and the process? no 😭 pls remember this is fanfiction and idk anything about childbirth

barbenheimer series

The day Y/n began to feel ill, she had an idea of what was going on. Of course she did some math and realized her period was late. Cillian was still filming in the uk so she was alone in their cottage. A little family owned market was close by so she decided to walk there to buy a pregnancy test just to make sure. The owners already knew her and Cillian, they were nice people that brought great comfort to her.

While she was there, she figured she might as well get some groceries that she needed. As she browsed the aisles for spices and other items, she got a text from Cillian.

C ❤️

i should be done filming soon. i miss you.

She quickly replied.

Okay, I’ll pick you up from the airport. I love you more ❤️

After she payed for her items, Y/n walked back to her cottage. She put away her groceries rather than immediately take the test. She didn’t want to get her hopes up so she occupied her mind with something else.

It wasn’t until she thought about Cillian, that’s when she decided that it was time to take it. She grabbed the small box from the bag and walked to her bathroom. She read the instructions over and over again until she ripped open the box.

“It’s going to be fine, you’re going to be fine.” Y/n whispered to herself.

Y/n was early to the airport the day Cillian was scheduled to come back home. She couldn’t contain her excitement. It had been months since they last saw each other and she desperately wanted to feel him close to her.

She finally spotted him wearing sunglasses and a hat, his outfit reminded her of the crappy disguises superheroes wore when they were under cover.

“Well hello Tommy Shelby.” She said in a flirty voice.

“You’re hilarious.” Cillian replied. He placed his hands on her cheeks and kissed her on the lips. “Let’s go home, I’ve missed you too much.”

Cillian wanted to drive, but Y/n wouldn’t let him. After all he did come back from a long flights and months of filming, he needed the rest. Eventually Y/n and Cillian made it back home. He quickly took notice of the garden she had made while he was gone.

“You’ve been busy.” Cillian got out of the car. He opened the trunk and got his luggage out. “Are those red poppies?” He pointed out.

“Yeah. I also planted tulips and daisies.” Y/n pointed to the flowers that decorated her front porch.

Cillian then saw the light blue flowers next to the poppies. “Forget me nots, your favorite.” He smiled.

“You remember?” Y/n asked. She had told him about her favorite flower many dates ago.

“I never forgot.” Cillian replied. “Ha, forget me not, I never forgot.” He tried to joke.

“Funny.” Y/n chuckled lightly. “Come in, I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh?”

“It’s not what you think.” Y/n rolled her eyes playfully.

Cillian opened the door allowing Y/n to walk in first. He saw their home completely normal so it wasn’t something like a new furniture piece or art work that she had bought.

“Okay, wait here.” Y/n instructed. She walked to their shared bedroom and came back with something in her hands, Cillian wasn’t sure what it was. “I never told you I was feeling sick when you were away, I didn’t want you to worry and i most certainly didn’t want you to leave your work and fly back just for me. I had an idea of what was wrong with me so I went to the market and got a pregnancy test and it’s positive.” She nervously said. That’s when she showed Cillian the pregnancy test.

Cillian immediately pulled Y/n into a tight embrace, burying his face in her shoulder. “Oh, I love you so much.”

“We’re going to be parents.” Y/n whispered as her eyes filled with tears.

As they held each other, Cillian knew that his life would never be the same. But he also knew that with Y/n by his side, he was ready to embrace the journey of fatherhood.

MONTH 3

“People are starting to ask questions. What do I say to them?”

“Tell them you don’t know me.”

Her assistant, Joli, had been on the phone with her for the past hour. Y/n had finally told Joli about the pregnancy. Only a few people knew, obviously both of the parents’ families and close friends, but apart from them, no one knew that Cillian and Y/n were going to be parents and they liked it that way.

“You know I can’t do that. Listen, I love you and I’m happy for you and Cillian, but are you really going to step away for good?” Joli asked.

“Not entirely. I’ll just take a break.”

“Y/n, no one has seen you for a while.” Joli stated. “But when you decide to come back, I’ll be here. If you or Cillian ever need anything, let me know.”

“Thanks, Joli.” Y/n smiled. Joli was always her biggest supporter.

“You’re going to be an amazing mom.”

MONTH 7

Y/n loved her quiet life. She was living in a cottage starting her family with the love of her life. What more could she want?

Her stomach was growing everyday and it amazed her every time. The gender was going to be a surprise so all the baby clothes and furniture was gender neutral. She even wrote down some gender neutral names that her and Cillian might like.

“Here,” Cillian came back from the kitchen with a glass of cold lemonade. “Let me know if you want a refill.”

Y/n and Cillian were enjoying some time in their garden. All this time at home, Y/n picked up a new hobby and in no time, the couple had their own garden.

“Thank you, my love.” Y/n replied as she grabbed the glass from Cillian’s hands. “I’ve been thinking about the name Rowan, cute or not?”

“Rowan, Rowan . . . Rowan Murphy-L/N.” Cillian tested it out. “Not sure. Can you imagine yourself yelling the name Rowan like what if our child is running and you have to yell their name for them to stop. Rowan! Hmm, I don’t know.”

Y/n began to laugh at Cillian’s words. “That’s how you decide if the name is good or not?”

“It’s a good way, just try it.” Cillian encouraged.

Y/n hesitated a bit, but cleared her throat. “Rowan! Rowannnn!”

“See? Now what’s the verdict?”

“The verdict is . . . We have to find another name.”

JULY 21ST, 2013

Cillian was thankful that he didn’t have to work that day. It was all going good. Y/n was in the final days of pregnancy and everything was ready for the arrival of baby murphy. Around 2PM was when Cillian’s driving skills were put to the test.

“Fuck! Fuck! I hate this! I’m never having kids again!” Y/n groaned. “Hey, did I ever tell you how much I love you?”

“Not recent-” Cillian said as he kept his eyes on the road. They were only two minutes from the hospital.

“I hate you right now! But I love you so so much, but I fucking hate you!”

“Love you too, baby.”

Soon, Y/n was being taken by nurses to labor and delivery. Cillian made sure to call both of the families to let them know that in a matter of minutes, he would be a father and Y/n would be a mother.

“Are you Mr. Murphy?” A nurse asked. “Your wife is calling for you.”

Wife. He loved the sound of that.

Cillian quickly ended the call with his mother and ran to Y/n’s room. “Hey, I’m here.” He grabbed her hand, placing gentle kisses on it.

“Do our parents know?” Y/n asked.

“I just got off the phone with them. They’re so happy for us.” He smiled.

Thankfully, a C-section wasn’t needed. Baby Murphy entered the world crying. He was perfect in the eyes of his parents.

“Congratulations, it’s a beautiful boy.” The nurse announced.

“A boy.” Cillian whispered to Y/n. “Our beautiful boy.”

“Alex. His name is Alexander or Alex. I like it.” Y/n said, completely out of breath.

“Alexander Murphy-L/N. That sounds perfect.” Cillian smiled.

TAGLIST

@leclercloml @butterfly-skinnylegend @rockerchick05 @equallyshaw @agustdpeach @celesteablack @hnybitches @ietss @probablypossesedbysatan @kittyrumbl3r @electrobutterfly @knpgituloh @butlersluvbot @captainwans @bellstwd @theekileypage @marti-su @multifans-things @ceruleanrainblues @litterallnobody @jackierose902109 @sinarainbows @cosniffee @thatgirlthatreadswattpad

[undertheorangetree]

After Party

Summary- Art and Tashi don’t like to share their toys

Warnings- MDNI 18+ NSFW. Female reader. Threesome. Voyeurism. Cunnilingus. Fingering. P in V sex. Scissoring. Getting pinned down? Kinda degradation? Praise kink. Patrick haters one and all (sorry king).

Author’s Note- Everyone’s probably moved on but not me baby. There’s something about threesome fics that pull a demon out of me idk what it is. This is filthy/dirty/insane/etc plz enjoy and find the full fic on ao3 link below

This is something she doesn’t think she will ever get used to.

The galas. The fundraising dinners. Being so entirely immersed in the world of celebrity. It had been what she signed up for when she applied as the Donaldson’s personal assistant, but she hadn’t been anticipating quite this much of a culture shock. It’s gotten easier over the past few months, when her assistant position had changed into something more. When her feelings for both Art and Tashi had developed into something more romantic and they had reciprocated. Or rather, been the first to act. Now, galas for their foundation seemed much easier, when Tashi asks to steal her away for a few minutes to kiss in the bathroom or Art lets his hand dip a little too low on her waist when asking her a question.

Perhaps they should be more discrete, but discretion is often far from her mind whenever she is with them. Especially when she is with them.

Though she tries to keep her head about her now as she stands by Tashi’s side, only half listening while Tashi smiles and charms a handful of investors into doubling their donations. Tashi laughs at one of the men’s poor excuse for a joke, only enough to seem polite, before turning back to her.

“Would you get me another gin and tonic?” Tashi asks, voice likely sweeter than it should be.

She smiles, already collecting Tashi’s empty glass to bring back to the bar. “Of course. Excuse me.”

Tashi’s fingers graze her own for a moment as she relinquishes the glass, half a caress, before she is turning back to the investors. Faintly, she can hear her as she explains the benefits of the foundation- how their donations would help them to reach even more disadvantaged children and wouldn’t they like to be responsible for bettering a life?- but her voice grows faint the closer she gets to the bar.

It’s busier than she had expected it to be, easily over a hundred people dressed in their finery jammed together into this hotel ballroom, and at least a dozen of them are all crowded around the bar. She waits patiently, depositing Tashi’s glass as she leans forward, balancing some weight onto her elbows in the hope of relieving her poor feet. She can feel a blister forming on her pinky toe, where the strap of her new shoe rubs incessantly, and wiggles her toes in the vain hope of shifting it. She would never complain, not when Tashi had spent a small fortune on them for her, and especially not when she knows that should she tough it out now and voice her complaints back in the hotel room, Art will surely make it up to her.

The bartender finally manages to make her way to her, a friendly yet frazzled smile on her face as she asks for the order, She gives it quickly and though the bartender turns to prepare it, an unfamiliar voice manages to stop her.

“I’ll have what she’s having.”

She looks over her shoulder to find a man standing behind her, smiling in a way she is sure he believes to be charming. She ignores it in favour of sending the bartender an apologetic smile of her own, trying to convey that she is not the cause of this sudden increase in workload, but the bartender only nods before heading off, giving the man the opportunity to join her at the bar.

He doesn’t exactly look as though he belongs here. Though he is dressed well enough, he’s unshaven, his dark hair tousled in a way that just looks messy. He smells like cigarettes and too much cologne, as if he’s trying to hide the smell like a middle schooler. It’s almost as if he had seen the party from the street and decided to join in, though the way he holds himself assures her that he is in no way insecure about that. He radiates a confidence that she could only dream of, one that seems to border on arrogance as he watches her, as if she is a promise rather than a conquest.

Though she keeps her eyes forward, staring at the rows upon rows of alcohol bottles, all glittering in the dim lighting, he does not mimic her for long. Soon, his eyes find her again, watching her with a half smile until the bartender returns with their drinks. She thanks her before making to leave, but the man seizes the opportunity before she can.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing drinking alone?”

She stops, turning back and teetering on her heels as she smiles politely. “I’m not, it’s for my boss.”

“You mean I didn’t even manage to learn your drink order?” He pretends to be wounded, placing a hand over his heart. “I was hoping you and I could get to know each other.”

“I wish we could but this is just a work event for me, I’m afraid.” Another smile, this one more genuine as she switches the glass from one hand to the other, the condensation freezing her fingers. “I don’t get to have any fun until it’s over.”

That seems to pique his interest, elbow resting on the bar as he leans toward her, eyes raking over her before lazily meeting her eye again. “Oh? What kind of fun?”

Read the rest here

[link7057]

SHARE YOUR HEADCANNONS ABOUT CHRISTINAAAAA 🫶🫶

First, I'm so sorry for the late answer months later 😭😭🙏 Please forgive me and second!! Actually I hadn't thought of many headcanons for her... yet... but she's one of my favorite characters so ofc I thought of some!! I might say silly ones or ones more about her personal life (and definitely not projecting some parts!) I love Christina Posabule 🙏♥️

Music wise I think Christina would like 60s music, rock, and/or synth-pop or idk genres are hard to actually get right nowadays. If it's specfic, "The Daughters of Eve" and Mitski would be part of her favorites fjjdbrbnd (then I think she'd like The Killers especially "When You Were Young" when she was in her teens :)) Speaking of Christina in her teens, she'd want to learn piano or some sort of instrument but her parents probably got annoyed by how much she played so she wouldn't have as many chances. She's definitely a bookworm or just loves reading and also writes in her freetime like little stories or poems. And when Block ended up staying with Orel's family, she was kind of the only one who missed him as her parents didn't really mind/express their emotions about it.

Andddd talking about her parents, they're both VERY controlling and kept watch on what she'd do, the polar opposite with Orel, which his parents didn't gaf where he was 💔💔 Especially Poppit, and I think with Christina's story it'd be a toxic mother-daughter relationship (mommy issues!) rather than her and her dad, and that Poppit rather likes taking charge but to be in "a woman's place" y'know sexism and even tells Art what to do but makes sure that he does what a "man has to." And she'd be veryyy persistent on Christina with how she presents herself and make sure that she was a nice church girl at all times. And Poppit would very much have breakdowns in front of her and vent to her about her own issues... yeah... And whenever Christina was getting yelled at or being told what to do the only thing she could do is not say anything back to not upset them. She was also grabbed a lot like by her wrists or something similar how they showed in the show. When she moved to Moralton, she was bummed out bc yeah she just moved to a new place where she knows no one. Then when she met Orel something about him intrigued her and she's like Oooh y'know what I like this place already... then BOOM! Having to move again :( Also I don't know if it's just me but she's probably homeschooled or she's just attending another school jfjfnntnf and about her past town she'd be doing so many shenanigans during the same time as Orel probably. Another silly thing she might be more confident than him like I think he'd be more shy when he got older fjjdjnfbfn

Also yes Christina was sadistic I had to say it bc... we remember Orel's masochist era... And same thing with her being emo/goth when Orel was and at least for a while when they were teens👍👍 It's canon bc I said so

About when she's an adult, once Orel and her got married and had their kids, she'd be really worried about repeating anything her own mother used to do to her (along with Orel who'd try to be the best dad to his kids and would ask Christina if he was doing a good job if he was too worried about becoming anything similar to Clay or just anything otherwise) and I'm not quite sure about if whether she kept contact with her parents but she probably would but obviously has a strained relationship with them along with Orel's parents... But she would give her own family all her love :D also she's definitely working in a type of job I forgot which one but something that helps people bc she's sweet like that <3 so yeah girlboss !!

I might've forgotten some things to mention or other things I had in mind for her but yeah!! Or it was badly/worded weird perdón. Thanks for reading 💕

[poppy-metal]

Okay so I’m obviously stuck on the idea of being established with Art and Tashi and them bringing Patrick in atm 😞💔 BUT do you think there’s any contention in the dynamics while they’re trying to find a nice balance between the three of them?

Like bickering or getting pissed because Art can be way too lenient, and maybe he doubles down because Tashi and Patrick are so unshakable that he thinks you need someone on your side, but Patrick can’t fucking stand how much he coddles you. He thinks it’s so boring and he’s taking all the fun out of everything.

And Art gets mad because Patrick can be too harsh, too intense. Like Art safewords out for you because Patrick is slapping you and he’s going to leave bruises. And Tashi gets mad because he’s overstepping.

And idk just early in the dynamic I imagine it would be kind of clumsy because there’s a whole new personality in the mix, and doubly worse because it’s Patrick.

i love this dynamic sooooo much. you think it'd be easy because everyone wants eachother but its not. arts still struggling with his marriage being open at all - with the way he was raised polygamy is just not something he ever thought he'd be okay with. being nonmomgamous still fills him with shame sometimes like he needs reassurance constantly that everyone wants this, that hes not making anyone feel neglected. there's also feelings of possessiveness like he doesn't want to share you with patrick, i think out of everyone you and him struggle the most with jealousy.

tashi probably has the least struggle with it - but it's a lot of new things and stuff changes and shifts alot and she has to gentle herself. accounting for all of your feelings isn't something she's used to and she slips up alot, is flippant when she should be more considerate. doesn't see things from someone elses point of view - that kind of thing. she thinks everyone should be more like her, and that feelings not explicitly stated aren't worth her time.

patrick is just a ball of energy. he already loves tashi and art. i think it's easy for him to fall for you too - but he deals with some deep hidden resentment that you're the coddled one and his emotions got treated like dirt over the years. its annoying and you're such a little baby he wonders how tashi can tolerate you - but then again she'd always liked her submissive little lambs that she could lead to slaughter. he wants to be the one doing the slaughtering. its hard for patrick to baby anyone - he's always been blunt as hell and brash and it leads to alot of tension between the two of you.

I think he purposely provokes you and pokes at your insecurities. like at first you aren't ready to sleep with him and that irritates him because you obviously think hes hot - so he makes sure whenever he's fucked tashi or art that you know about it, just to rile you up. and when you're in bed together her purposely hoards attention - he's commanding enough of a presence to get away with it, too. Its so easy to get lost in him, the pull he has over you all is really something. the ability to make art beg to suck his cock, the ability to make tashi whimper - he can both of them wrapped around his body and it'll take a few moments before one of them remembers to bring you in - he does it on purpose and it makes you want to claw his eyes out.

I think you refuse to sleep together with them all together like that for awhile and its what the breaking point is because art gets pissed - confronts patrick on how he bullies you, and patrick just laughs because you want him to bully you. you just wont admit it.

think it ends with patrick getting real fed up with you and pushing you too far one night - or beyond what you've been pushed before with art and tashi - with him calling you a fucking whore and how you probably want him to just take what he wants from you, huh? you're babied enough as it is you want to be fucked like the little brat you are. you want him to sneak into your room at night when mommy and daddy aren't home and force himself into your little cunny and keep going even when you struggle and cry for him to stop. you want him to violate you.

"stop." art would say, flushed and panicked. he doesn't know if hes speaking for himself or for you. "red. stop - she doesn't like it."

and you have tears in your eyes, its true. but not for the reason he thinks. still - you let him gather you up. hold you against him. sheild you from patrick like hes a scary monster.

everyone's upset.

tashi's upset art would presume to know what you'd want - art would snap that there are times she was too self involved to know what was upsetting you before and tashi would go quiet - and then patrick would get angry at everyone for being so fucking horrible at communicating, like its a mess. he probably threatens to just leave like - "this is too fucking much -" and art yells at him to leave, then. they were fine without him before, they'll be fine without him now.

and your eyes get wide because you didn't mean for this to happen. you want to open your mouth and say that you're fine - that its okay. that what patrick said was right and you do want all those things to happen you just cant voice it because you dont want to be a bad girl. you're art and tashi's good girl and now you want to be bad for someone and its all confusing in your head and you just chew on your lip as they all fight over you and you tune out.

eventually you come too, and you realize patrick has really left. packed his things. and you feel your stomach drop. and when you ask where he went art gets this sour look on his face, stiff and frozen over and something you hadn't seen in awhile - and he just shrugs like it doesn't matter even though it clearly does. "doesn't matter. we should've never brought him in, in the first place, baby. im sorry." he drags you into his lap and kisses the side of your head and pretends its fine but you know better.

tashi is more distant and interactions feel forced and cordial and sometimes tashi looks at you like she blames you for it all - and you realize she has a right to because it is your fault.

because of your own fear of your own desires you'd let patrick be pushed out. you used to think that might give you relief, to be the center of attention again. but the absence of patrick eats away at you just as much.

you think you should have just stopped being a brat and let patrick in. stopped being sp stubborn and admit you liked him and wanted him to touch you in a different kind of way.

It's probably weeks later until you finally decide to pull on your big girl panties and talk to art and tashi - tell them what would have saved you all alot of trouble from the start - that you think you're in love with patrick zweig, and you want him back. you want to be a family again.

just thinking about how aggravated patrick would be - spit out TWICE by people he thought cared about him who'd rather choose eachother than admit they want him. thinking about how it'll take alot more than showing up at his apartment and saying you want him back. because do you? do you really?

thinking you might just have to get on your knees and beg.

[lordelmelloi2]

we need help again...

I hate hate hate hate to make this post but we could really use some help. Mostly because I am uninsured until my job opens enrollment for its health insurance in June and on the eve of us signing the apartment lease tomorrow, I have contracted strep throat from my coworkers. Hooray!

I'm gonna try and get an appointment at the community health center doctor's tomorrow because I straight up don't have the money or time to go to the CVS minuteclinic across the street. They said it was $139 for a strep appointment without insurance, I said hell no... If I wait another day I can try and get a sliding scale $40 appt at the doctors. Right now is just stressful because we need money and because they didn't give us our security deposit back I'm not going to have enough money for my bills the beginning of the month. Plus there are literally THREE prescriptions I have asides from however much a Z pack will likely cost and one of them is an ointment from a compound pharmacy that I don't have money to pay for~!!!! 😭😭😭

Asides from that I am afraid that we miscalculated how much we have for rent for May so I'm trying to see about covering those costs so we aren't paying 3 days late into the month of May for our May rent first month. I really don't want to have a bad first impression with these people. They've been very kind to us so far with renting this new place but I don't want to push the limits.

I've already asked my dad for help but he wasn't able to spare enough for us to be totally covered + he needs me to pay him back by August. During the month of April I also applied to multiple credit unions for personal loans and got rejected...

So my total expenses are:

- Medication/Doctor's visit (including pre-existing prescriptions that I haven't had the money to pick up) ($160)

- Phone bill ($75 for this first month, should be going down next month as verizon charges my account with different coding)

- costs for rent/move (like hopefully $200 idk. I think we can swing the last hundred)

In addition: Because of my history of struggling with commissions due to my psychiatric disability, I don't really want to do this but if you donate a sum above $100 you can ask me to digitally paint something for you. Please no complicated requests or anything since I've been struggling with art for years now from depression/anxiety etc. but I would feel indebted to you if I didn't do anything. If this is something you'd like please DM me/send me an ask off anon.

* As for why we have been so financially fucked this month. Our current apartment complex (yes the one with the leaks, roaches, harmful construction noises etc.) has kept our security deposit which has us out $300 that we could've used towards the new place. They have fucked us over one last time.

My paypal as always is at: paypal.me/roseod

And please share if you can. Every reblog/donation of even a small amount is appreciated. Thank you all so much for supporting me.

[komuite]

Wind Breaker AU where Sakura is a year older and ends up in Umemiya's same orphanage.

The Noroshi vs UmeGang side tracks because:

1) Umemiya's new younger sibling keeps breaking into their fights for random things, no matter who is fighting. Everyone is confused at this 15-ish middle schooler who pops up everywhere to call them lame, 'totally not checking on Umemiya' and leaves after he sends him home. It's not like they could knock him out and call it a day. One, the younger boy is fast. In speed and learning, the small fries can't catch him more than once and then never again. And two, hurting him is asking death.

2) At some point, Endo got interested in him. He keeps trying to talk with him. Umemiya is not amused. He keeps interrupting everything to chase him away, yelling something about "creeps that want to touch his pure little bro". That doesn't stops Endo. He only doubts when Umemiya and Takiishi are fighting because he doesn't want to ruin his fun.

And 3) Sakura's friendship powers activate early since he spends a lot of time with the children from the orphanage, Kotoha and the UmeGang.

Idk, I just think the idea of Endo staying at Furin to woo Sakura through the school's hallways when he starts the next year is funny.

I love love love this idea 😭

the ume-saku orphanage AU was already bouncing around inside my head because of that art comic that's been popular here. when Sakura comes in, Ume's hair might still be transitioning from black to white so they can bond over their two-toned hair. they'd grow close bc they'd share their vulnerabilities with each other—Ume is still grieving and can't control his bursts of anger as well as his older self.

lmao i'm just imagining Sugishita in this AU, maybe him and Sakura go to the same middle school with Sakura being his senior. they'd fight over Ume's attention but end up being best friends (and Sakura will always be salty about how Sugi is taller than him despite being younger)

and the whole Noroshi-Furin debacle going sideways just because Sakura's there 😂 Endo's down bad for him no matter what universe they're in

Sakura would pretend he's not checking in on Ume by crashing the fights but they all see through him. Ume would indulge him with anything, and Tsubaki thinks its sweet and wishes he was their brother, and Hiragi would be so stressed out lol. Noroshi would pause in their fighting just to poke and prod at Sakura to see his hilarious reactions (within reason ofc otherwise Ume would destroy them)

Ume would get such a grudge against Endo for becoming interested in Sakura, and then Takiishi would get mad that Ume is paying more attention to Endo than him, and Takiishi would maybe blame Sakura for it, and it will be a whole disaster, but i guess all that drama means Noroshi would have a reason to stay lol

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/749333039047442432/httpsolderthannetfictumblrcompost74884185043?source=share

Sorry, long rant incoming.

Someone in the replies said it, but I think it needs to be said again where everyone can see it: I think a lot of the attitude that anon is somehow secretly pro-censorship because they think certain preferences are skeevy, and strenuously insisting that bad attitudes can NEVER be media's fault.... idk, maybe take it out of the context of debates about sexually explicit/pornographic media for a moment?

There are works of media that had pretty direct effects on activist and political movements, good and bad. Uncle Tom's Cabin inspired a lot of people to fight against slavery. The movie Birth of a Nation, which showed a history of the U.S. with the KKK as heroic, is considered by most historians to be a major contributor to the revival of the KKK in the 1920s. The Nazis used films, books, music, art, and so on in their propaganda, knowing it would help their ideas go down more easily. The Soviets did too. Every dictatorship did. Even democratic countries have done it as well, usually but not always in more subtle ways.

Do none of those count, because "oh, people who were going to be convinced by Birth of a Nation would be racist anyway"? "Good, non-racist people wouldn't be convinced by it"? I mean, the latter is true: there were plenty of people, especially black Americans but plenty of white allies too, who boycotted the film at the time. The NAACP led a boycott. But do you really think NO ONE was convinced? (What about people who previously didn't feel any way about it one way or the other? Were they just innately more evil, even if it might've just been that they weren't aware? Do supposedly progressive people in fandom realize how much this sounds like Christian original sin rhetoric...) And does it matter purely about media fully changing minds, or also how it galvanizes people who already think one way? If it gives them new talking points, new ways of thinking about it and convincing others? If it helps them believe their cause is more important and worth fighting for?

So why does this all suddenly change when we're talking about sex? Is porn really this special class of media where somehow all the rules about how we can both like things and also be critical of how media (fiction, news media, whatever) influences us - "be critical of the media you love," as a tote bag sold by Feminist Frequency said - just stop applying for some reason? Or maybe if something is bypassing your rational brain entirely and going directly for the pleasure centers, there's all the more reason to think critically about what it's saying? Propaganda is designed to bypass all that, too.

Also, if media really has NOTHING to do with it, that just wouldn't explain why it's disproportionately anime that feature these specific elements that seem to attract more people arguing for why it's wrong to be upset by rape or child exploitation in real life. I don't believe that everyone who watches slavery isekai or lolicon approves of those things irl - I think for the vast majority of people, it IS a fantasy and that's the point - but I have noticed that in places like the Anime News Network or Crunchyroll forums, the comments become a cesspool of creepy people arguing for why ages of consent should be lowered and mean feminists who don't like watching media with rape in it just need to get over themselves, in a way they just don't when you're talking about Attack on Titan or My Hero Academia or Shoujo Romance #4891 or whatever.

As another person in the notes said, abusers ARE opportunistic. They'll use something like Twilight as easily as they'll use the most uwu, soft, "non problematic" ship to argue for why they're allowed to abuse you. But I don't think that means we can't be critical (not calling for censorship, of course! but like, writing op-eds and stuff) of media that makes their arguments a little easier, maybe even directly makes their arguments for them.

You can believe both that everyone has the opportunity to read, watch, listen to, play what they want and make up their own minds about it, and that it's wrong for the government to ever decide what media is and isn't "acceptable," and also believe that media often is saying things that aren't apparent on the surface and that you should be critical of those messages, *especially* with the stuff you like.

The point is just that porn isn't like, fundamentally different from other fictional media in this way. (Or, hell, I would argue that fictional media isn't functionally different from other mass media in this way. If anything, fiction's politics are often more insidious in a way that makes it easier for them to reach people who might not otherwise be open to those messages in the form of, say, blatantly right-wing news media.)

It's particularly strange to me when people jump all over someone for expressing how something can be insidiously creepy in a more mundane way. The line people are upset about that used the word "unpack" was just making the point that even if we can agree lolicon isn't outright advocating pedophilia, even if we agree the point is that it's a fantasy and they're not like real children at all and that's what people like, it's still working within an idealization/fetishization of helplessness, innocence, and dependence, and that still has a lot that you can critique from a feminist perspective. It's still a thing that plays into some crappy societal ideas about who women are supposed to be, and is selling that to men as a romantic ideal. There's still a lot we can talk about there! And it's still totally fair for women to be wary of men where that seems to be all they're into - because for some (and I believe this was what anon was initially trying to say was their experience), it does impact how they treat real women. It doesn't have to be everyone for it to have an impact.

There's a lot of anime that presents women that way, even way outside of lolicon. A lot of it's anime I like! I'm still critical of that aspect of it. I still wish that particular part of it were different.

I still don't see how this makes me "pro censorship" unless I believe some kind of institution should mandate that that not be included. And whether that's the government, or the industry itself (people do kind of narrowly focus on "the government" in a way that would make a lot of industry-run censorship that was still very harmful, e.g. the Hollywood Hays Code, not "count"), or anyone, I very much disagree with that. Creators should be able to create what they want. A lot of what creators are doing with this is unconscious, is reflecting societal biases they learned but haven't thought deeply about.... which is precisely the point of critiquing how those show up in a work.

People love to talk about "secretly 'anti' attitudes" but at the end of the day, support or opposition to censorship is pretty straightforward. You believe someone should be stopped from making a particular kind of media, or you don't. If you don't, you're not pro-censorship, no matter how much you personally may not like that that media or a particular aspect of it exists. Most people who care about media have some media they wish didn't exist. It's about what they do about it that makes them pro or anti censorship. Talk to people who donate to or even work for the ACLU or other anti censorship groups; most of them don't like racist or sexist stuff, but they also don't believe it should be banned and that's the point.

Bringing it back to the discussion at hand, I think the point was just that you can't be blind to how power dynamics influence this stuff. I wouldn't even say specifically cishet men are at fault here, since some people who read this blog seem to think that anyone saying that is automatically talking about bioessentialism as opposed to like, societal stuff (don't ask me why, this has been explained on here enough times in enough different discourses over the years, I think). I'd just say anyone with power in that particular context. There's a reason why it's specifically mainstream media, aimed at groups in power, that tends to draw in creeps excusing the real thing... in a way that just similarly is not true of people in fanfiction fandom, who are usually a member of one or more oppressed categories, exploring that in their own marginal work. Fans of rape fanfiction just don't act the way that fans of slavery rape isekai do. It's because there is fundamentally a difference both when you're someone whom society tells you are entitled to everything you want in this particular arena, and also when a work is mainstream, broadening its reach, and speaking a particular message from the lens of people with economic and social power (who are making these mainstream works) and given approval by publishers/media studios/etc. in a way that is not the case with amateur work with tiny audiences. And, frankly, there's a difference between something that eroticizes rape from the point of view of the perpetrator vs. the victim.

Not a difference in terms of how legal it should be. Not a difference in whether every single person who watches it or likes it is bad. But a difference in terms of what it's saying, how it's saying that, and often the effects they have as a result. That, too, is true with every topic, not just sex.

I feel like a lot of people getting mad at these do fundamentally agree with this, but just have a weird blind spot when it's put in any sort of terminology that reminds them of certain bad arguments they've seen in fandom, uses any words that can be dismissed as "radfem" or "anti" or whatever, and so just refuse to engage with the actual meat of what is being said.

If you do actually believe though that it's wrong to EVER think media can have a negative effect on what people believe about irl issues, because there was always something "already there" that was going to "come out anyway" if it affects you that way (again, people: this is "original sin" rhetoric), and if you ever privately judge people for the media they like you're secretly pro-censorship. You do have to recognzie that both you personally come up short and also most peopel doing real concrete real world things to fight censorship would also come up short!

I think sometimes of an editorial that said "if you love Return of the Jedi but hated the Ewoks you understand feminist criticism" in terms of how you can be bothered by the sexism of a piece of media in a way you'd be bothered by any one individual element of it, and still overall like the whole. And also, you can be offended by something, even wish it didn't exist (don't we as nerds all have entries in some franchise we like or another that we wish didn't exist for fannish reasons?), without believing that it should be officially made to stop existing or have never existed in the first place. That last part does actaully matter as like, its own thing. It is in fact separable from just being able to have personal judgey feelings about media and about the people who liked it.

And opposing it does not mean in any way that we have to just stop thinking critically about the media we love, or that we have to act like media can never have any influence on people. We on the left tend to talk about sexism, racism, homophoia and so on as being influenced by culture and society. Well, guess what is part of society and culture? Fictional (and other kinds of) media. That's part of that societal programming we get. It's why you'll see some of it even from people whose parents very much tried to resist teaching them certain things, because they get it from media anyway. I was raised by strenuously feminist parents: it was the media that taught me what gender roles were and how I was expected to adhere to them.

--

Look, I realize it's a bit rich of me to say this, but people are not going to engage with your actual points if you cannot be more succinct.

[midnightmoodlet-art]

https://www.tumblr.com/midnightmoodlet-art/766503128317280256/affogato-may-have-fallen-but-red-velvet-has-the?source=share

Ok hardest question out of curiosity and incase it sparks some art ideas or idk lmao:

Why is red velvet the better husband material? Like I simp hard for both him and affogato but I really wanna hear you out!

Sorry and idk why but this feels like an 'ok, hear me out-' moment lmao!

OKAY so I see a major distinction between the two because it is indeed a "hear me out"

Affogato is more like a "cat" husband whereas Red Velvet is more of a "dog" husband, so their affection styles are completely different from the get go. This isn't where I compare who's better, more like what vibes they give off.

How I see it, it's incredibly difficult to gain affo's affection, and it's like a long term kind of courting that you have to do with him (aka expect a 100k slowburn kind of buildup). In contrast, if you're chill with cakehounds and the cakes in general, you already have half of RV's soul in your hand already.

this is getting long so UTC <3 TLDR: thinking about it more, it depends on your taste in affection styles + they are both intense.

I think it all comes down to how open you want them to be with their affection: ❧ This is incredibly "hear me out" but affo strikes me as someone who would rather keep it private. Like as much as he might give off the impression that he's enjoy flaunting his spouse and flexing (he still does it to cookies he hates), he seems more the kind to have them all to himself. He wants to be the only one to witness the inner machinations, he's just greedy like that. Keep in mind while in public, he's get protective and try to verbally shoo whoever gave him bad vibes all the while placing his hand at the back of his spouse. ❧ RV on the other hand is more nonchalant when it comes to PDA. If his spouse likes to be picked up, well they are never walking again lmao. He'd also be a lot more transparent with his affection, since growing up within the COD gives him limited contact with the average cookie. Would also be a lot more protective and might growl towards others he deems "bad".

There's an important con to take into account with the both of them and it comes down to loyalty: ❧ They are villains after all, so they have specific "quirks" to look out for. ❧ Affo only had himself for the longest time, so there are two ways this can go: either he'll give everything of little importance and leave for "greener pastures", throwing his spouse to the wolves in worst case scenarios, or get completely utterly obsessed, and in turn his "loyalty" turns intense to the point of overbearing (he doesn't want to lose his spouse, the only good thing in all of Earthbread after all). For the former, the spouse might have been seen as a "sacrifice worth doing" to reach whatever new delusional goal he has in mind. So no matter what, obsession dictates his every action and in turn he can get a little intense to say the least. ❧ RV on the other hand, grew up by the Tower of Chaos, so in turn his loyalties lie with Dark Enchantress first and then everything else. He know nothing else so expect him to be absent for long periods deployment-style if his spouse doesn't live by the base. He'd insist they should move in and grumbles when hearing yet another "no". So ultimately, when faced with a choice between his spouse and being with DE, he might choose the latter...

[lunaflowers]

Okay! 💓Could you write something about married couple and s/o wants a baby so bad. But baekhyun is not ready or confused idk. He doesn't want it for now. Reader is really disappointed and sad. She loves babies so much and can't wait have one. But baekhyun's reaction (angry or annoying) is made her angry/sad. A big fight but a happy end please. 🥺🥺 (maybe some tears too)

If it is not okay for you then no problem! 🌼

Thank you 💓

Hope you like this, anon 💖 Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Reader Word Count: 1.7k Genre: Angst and Fluff Warnings: None that I can think of

The evening had been lovely. You and your husband, Baekhyun, had spent it strolling through the tree lined park near your home. It was verging on autumn and there was a slight chill in the air, but the full cold of fall hadn’t hit yet. The sun had almost completely set but it wasn’t fully dark yet. You two were holding hands and chatting about how your days had been. 

You were recently unemployed, having left your job as a nurse due to increasing stress and anxiety. Currently, you were playing full time homemaker so that meant you were home alone all day while Baekhyun was at work at a consultancy firm. The days were long but fulfilling. You tried your best to keep yourself occupied, trying new recipes, as well as arts and crafts, reading and writing and regular exercise. The break was nice and it had you contemplating what you really wanted to do with your life, where your true priorities lay.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something,” you said. Baekhyun had just finished telling you about a new project he was taking on at work, and all the responsibilities that were going to come along with it. He loved his job but you knew how demanding it could be, keeping him at the office for long hours. Thankfully he was paid generously for his hard work.

“What is it?” He looked at you and squeezed your hand a little. 

“Well, I was thinking since I’m home now and we’re settled, it might be the perfect time to start trying for a baby. We finally have the time and space for it.”

Baekhyun snorted. “Right. Very funny.”

He kept on walking beside you. You didn’t know what you expected his reaction to be but it certainly wasn’t that. Why would he think you were joking about something like this? “I’m being serious, Baek. Let’s start a family.” 

Baekhyun said nothing for a few moments and you waited in tense silence, listening to the gravel crunching under your shoes. This conversation was already not going the way you had anticipated.

“YN, babe, I’ve just spent the last ten minutes telling you about the new client and how I’m project leader and all the extra hours of work I’m going to be taking on and you come back with this?”

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. And I know how hard you’re working and I appreciate it so much, especially now. But this is important too.”

Baekhyun scoffed and you felt hurt. “It’s out of the question,” he said, his tone one of finality. 

“What? We can’t even talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. There’s no way we can have a baby right now.” He was dismissing you and you felt enraged all of a sudden.

You pulled your hand out of his. “Why are you being so cold?” You had to work to keep your voice even. You weren’t trying to make a scene, there were couples, families, children milling about the place enjoying the evening and you didn’t need to be the story they talked about as they got home.

“I’m not doing this here,” he said, testily. 

Annoyed, you began walking ahead of him, back towards the home you shared. You arrived and Baekhyun followed soon after, a look of irritation on his face. “You’re being childish leaving me behind like that.”

“I’m childish? You won’t even talk to me!” 

“I told you what I thought.”

“No, you made a decision for the both of us and then acted like I was the unreasonable one for having an issue with that. Do you not want to have kids with me?”

“All I said was not now,” he said, his teeth gritted. He was angry, a rare sight, and seeing him angry only made you more angry.

“What do you mean, not now? We’re both in our thirties, Baek! It’s not like we’re in our early twenties anymore with all the time in the world to wait. It only gets harder the older you get.”

“So what? If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen,” Baekhyun shot back and your jaw dropped.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? I’ve always said I’ve wanted kids. You know this. You said you wanted them too when we got married. And now this? What the fuck, Baekhyun?”

“Don’t you get it, YN? I have enough going on right now as it is. Work is insane, I’m having to work longer and longer hours, take on all these new responsibilities. You quit your job so I have to keep everything afloat financially all by myself. And now you want this?”

Your eyes widened, tears filling them at his words. It felt like he’d slapped you. He’d never made you feel guilty for not working. When you left your job, Baekhyun had been nothing but kind and supportive, telling you that he had everything handled and that you should take your time to decide when and even if you wanted to return to work, that you had nothing to worry about.

The hurt on your face made Baekhyun soften. He tried to walk back his statement, “I didn’t mean it like that… I just meant-”

“Forget it. Just forget I said anything. I’m going to bed,” you said, your voice even. You turned to and began walking down the hallway. You heard your husband calling for your attention but you ignored him. After you had washed up, you got in bed and began to cry silent tears alone. How had it all gone so wrong?

Baekhyun entered the bedroom about an hour later. You closed your eyes as he came in, pretending to be asleep on your tear soaked pillowcase. You were in no mood to talk to him right now.

“YN,” you heard him say from behind you. You pretended you didn’t hear him, staying as still as you could, hoping he would think you were asleep and leave you alone. No such luck. When Baekhyun wanted to talk, he was relentless about it.

“YN, come on…” he said, approaching you from behind. “I know you’re not asleep.” He put his hand on your shoulder and jiggled you lightly.

You turned onto your back and looked up at him with swollen eyes and lips. It was clear that you had been crying this whole time and that broke his heart. He hated seeing you cry more than anything.

“Baby, don’t cry,” Baekhyun said softly. He produced a bouquet of sad looking carnations from behind his back and held it out to you. “Sorry, I know they’re not great but I got them at the gas station. They’re all I could get at this time of night.”

You sat up against the headboard of your bed and said nothing, but you took the bouquet in your hand, fingering the petals of the flowers.

Baekhyun sat down beside you facing you. “I want to apologize for what I said earlier. I never meant to make it sound like I blame you for any stress I’m feeling. And I love having you not work to be honest. I love the fact that you’re always there when I come home, that we get to spend so much more time together.”

You put the flowers down beside you and took his hand in yours. “I appreciate that.” You gave him a sad smile. It obviously didn’t heal your heart but you appreciated his effort in trying to comfort you. Baekhyun was the only man you’d ever been with who actually gave a shit if you cried. 

“I’m sorry too. I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure at work and you’ve been so amazing and patient with me. I should’ve brought it up at another time.”

“No. The thing is… you’re actually right. It is something we should be talking about. We’re not getting younger. I just…” He trailed off.

You leaned forward and put a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently. “Talk to me, baby.”

“I’m scared shitless. The idea of being a father fucking terrifies me. Being responsible for a human life. Making sure he or she grows up and is healthy and happy and all the good things. How the fuck am I supposed to do that? What if I fuck it all up?”

You almost giggled but you held it back. You definitely didn’t want to demean Baekhyun’s feelings but the fact that he even thought for a second he might not be a good father was just so ludicrous. He was the most kind and loving person you’d ever met. Any child would be lucky to have him as a father.

“Baekhyun… It’s normal to be scared about being a parent. I am too. But we can’t let it paralyze us.”

Baekhyun sighed, “I know but… It’s a life, you know? It’s forever. It’s not something we can try out for a few months and then decide to get rid of it if we don’t want it.”

“You’re right. But like… I think it’s one of those things where you just have to dive right in. Delaying this forever isn’t going to help.”

He looked up at you with his Bambi eyes and you looked back at him. He looked so young and sweet faced, he definitely didn’t look like a man in his thirties. But he looked tired. Maybe you’d been too preoccupied with what you wanted that you hadn’t realised sometimes he needed you to build up his confidence the way he always did yours.

“Baekhyun, you’re going to be the most amazing father. I’m sure of it. You’re so filled with love and so patient and smart and gentle. Not to mention your child-like spirit.”

He laughed at that, and you smiled.

“Besides, we’re going to be doing it together. It’s a team effort. We can lean on each other like we always do.”

Baekhyun leaned forward and kissed you on the lips. “I like the sound of that.” He pulled you closer to him and wrapped his arms around you. The warmth of his body was so comforting and you leaned into him, breathing in his familiar scent. “So, we’re really going to have a baby, hmm?” He said, softly.

“I mean, we’re going to try.”

“Trying sounds fun. Let’s try right now,” Baekhyun said, kissing you again.

[marauderswolf22]

another thing i was thinking while writing this (legendary by now lmao, i SWEAR i will post it) essay of mine, is that for me neil's suicide was less spontainous that most people think.

im not saying he was thinking that if idk, he'd be forced to put an end on his acting, or really just art in general, he'd end his life. but we see him getting more couragious and bold in truly expressing himself, so i think these 'rebellious' thoughts of, for example running away would cross his mind.

okay maybe i just don't know how to describe it, but i want to say that after he tasted the sweetness of (basically) all of what he has discovered, he would NOT want to ever come back. he wouldn't be able to imagine his life the way it was before. and i think, also bc his artistic, new side was so bonded with his relationship with todd (they've met in the time it started, they were unfolding togheter, u know), he couldn't see life BEFORE this said relationship

i think it wasn't 100% spontainous, but im sure he wasn't expecting that he'll be in the situation he was in. maybe all of these thoughts of 'possibilities' would be the kind of thoughts that you read but not think about much, you have other things in mind. those few months we see are really hopeful and happy for neil, even with his father in the background. he finds his passion (AND LOVE FOR TODD OFC), persues it, shares it and just discovers himself. so i doubt he was actually thinking this can be taken from him so radically in split seconds (after the moments he was prob the happiest in!!!)

lastly, speaking of the moments before his death, i believe neil was 'over' the initial shock and strategic thinking of ways out. idk what was in his head, did he think that he CAN'T run away, that he doesn't have the courage, that it's already 'over' (remember it's never over guys!), idk. it's heartbreaking but i think, that he must've felt kind of 'disappointed'. that he felt the need to do it, that he was trapped and all of his dreams were gone for him. even if he was quite aware of his family situation, i think he never ACTUALLY thought his wings can be cut down (deep down he was hoping after his father sees him in his passion he'll change)

that's A LOT of babbling (such a cute word???), and i've said 'think' far too much but i hope you see my point

[mrghostrat]

i appreciate all the kindness for my uni rejection, and anyone going through the same thing should def read through my replies if they need similar comfort. there’s a lot of “ATAR isn’t everything!” comments tho, which made me realise i haven’t actually talked much about my goals, so i wanted to share a little context.

i’m 30 (on the 17th). i took a gap year after high school and i went to uni at 19. i even dropped out a semester before graduating to pursue the one thing that was making me happy (my first original comic) during a really bad depression (undiagnosed adhd burnout). i got the last units and graduated a year later, a bachelor of game design.

haven’t used my degree once. i went into comics and freelance rather than games. but i also loved that degree and would do it all again, it was absolutely worth it.

i’ve been freelance and self sufficient for 6-7 years, and it’s fun and i’m proud of the things i’ve made, but i’m so tired. i’m specifically tired of having to work 7 different angles to make up one sufficient salary, and even if it ends up being temporary, i’d give anything for a 9-5. have someone else in charge for once.

got to the end of my rope last year and sat down to figure out what i like and what i’m good at. a Life Plan, yknow. i’ve always had an interest in teaching, helping, connecting like that. figured out degrees and became really invested in this new trajectory i pictured my life going on. i was also tired of waiting, because every time i wanted to move back to the city from this tiny town we’re in, somethings come up or delayed it. so zita helped me figure out how we could get the ball rolling and break our lease 3 months early, so we could move back to melbourne and i could start my degree this year. we looked for (and found) an apartment specifically on the side of the city that would be closest to my campus.

i hope that gives a lil context as to why i’m so devastated right now. the last 5 months have been me revving up to start this new chapter at the end of feb and one little email said nah.

the degree i wanted to do was a double degree, secondary education (hons) and a BA of fine arts. i was equally excited for both, because i never got to do a lot of actual art learning in my last degree, and the BA would give me all of that— life drawing, sculpting, painting, wood/metal/jewellery working, digital, fuckin everything. but it was the less important of the pair, when it comes to getting myself a job as an art teacher, because i already have the art experience. it was just a fun bonus, and the education degree was the one i NEEDED.

in nov i had to travel to melbourne to present a portfolio and interview for the BA. they showed me around the studio too, and i fell a little bit in love. i got the acceptance email in december, but i still didn’t have an offer for the education degree. another reason why i’m so discombobulated— i technically have an invitation, but it’s for the less important degree that would just be a money sink. do i go to uni anyway?? or just ignore this invitation and move on?

my state recently made education/teaching degrees free as a way of encouraging more teacher jobs. i learnt about this after i decided i wanted to pursue teaching, so it was just a fun lil bonus that i wouldn’t be adding to my student debt. apparently not, bc i didn’t think about how every teenager and their dog would apply for teaching degrees so they could get straight into uni without any debt. so, even tho i’m a graduate and i’m not relying on school scores, i was one in a million, likely just numbers on a page, and didn’t get in.

there could be other paths. i could start the BA and add the Edu degree later? i could reapply for mid year intake. i could… idk, most of what i could do requires emailing Monash and asking wtf, because i have no idea what’s actually possible and will need someone to lay it out for me.

still feels like i’ve run into a brick wall though. little bit shut down. more sad, not quite angry, but suddenly really spiteful for some reason— like “oh, you don’t want me? okay fuck you then, i won’t ever teach.” so stupid. just a bit fragile rn

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.

Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.

I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.

let's goooooo!

Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29

fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP

okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)

and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30

LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.

These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32

okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.

I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35

ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35

OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36

Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37

and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38

That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39

SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43

OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.

aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).

What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47

Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51

holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).

That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53

aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54

I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59

omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61

:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63

MXTX Cliffhangar Lord

And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.

[nite-puff]

Favourite head-canons for your favourite ships/characters?

okay let me itemize this.

kiyotaka: my pr scheme headcanon. i love that headcanon for thematic reasons, and just think of the possibilities if taka ever finds out about it. if anyone wants to read up on it, here’s the link.

mondo: i love him being crafty. idk how much this counts as a headcanon because it’s pretty backed up by canon, but i digress. i love him being in touch with his artistic side. i want him to whittle and make wooden sculptures while he pursues carpentry. i want him to expand his experience in embroidery to other fiber arts. i want him to paint on walls and canvases like he would on his motorcycle. i want him to experiment with makeup outside of his eyeliner. HES JUST HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL TO BE AN ARTIST BUT HE WONT LET HIMSELF INDULGE IN IT. LET HIM BE CRAFTY.

takemichi: i love giving him survivor’s guilt after he finds out about what happened to mondo and the rest of the diamonds. he’s the last crazy diamond standing and if that doesn’t take the ultimate toll on him, then i don’t know what will. especially since his whole deal in the gang was to protect mondo. finding out mondo died, even if there was no way for him to interfere, convinces him that he failed his one job. and hearing that the diamonds have all died, EVEN if there was no way for him to interfere, convinces him that he failed the owadas even more by being a shit leader and not protecting them while mondo was at hope’s peak. i wonder what that mindset will do to him. mentally. HES SO NORMAL GUYS. anyway.

okay now to dynamic stuff

ishimondo: yes, physical touch and general acts of service will mean so much to them when they’re together, but i need to zero in on the act of cooking specifically. the act of cooking for one another is so special for them. like growing up, both mondo and kiyotaka had a tricky/bad relationship with food (with kiyotaka not having money to eat anything other than his typical rice balls and mondo not eating much due to body image issues and needing to “stay in shape”) so reaching that time in their lives when food becomes a comfort to them (due in part because of their influence on each other) is going to be so special. they know each other’s favorite foods and will cook for each other, they’ll make time to cook together and enjoy that quality time. and if they have some extra money to spend, they’ll go out and try something new with each other. i could probably make this sound better if you give me some time but just know that they get each other to appreciate food so much more and see if as something more than just a task to get done or a nuisance they have to deal with.

mondo and michi (platonic): the ultimate besties, what can i say?? michi had to deal with all the times mondo had a crush and was rejected by said crush. he practically became the ultimate shoulder to lean on as they grew up and mondo’s feelings only got bigger. when mondo would tell michi that he was gonna confess one day, michi would already be prepared with movies and snacks to help mondo get over the rejection (it’s not like michi had no faith in mondo. he just knew the chances of mondo actually getting a date were low. he’s seen how he gets when he’s nervous. he’s just being realistic). i recently came up with the scenario of how they would deal with valentine’s day. mondo would always be disappointed he didn’t get any chocolates by the end of the school day, but would never say it out loud. and michi is always tired by the end of the day with him having to lug around his bag of chocolates he’s received and having to dodge any potential confessions he saw coming (and rejecting the ones he didn’t see coming). mondo always tries to avoid talking about how he feels when he sees michi after school, but michi always catches onto mondo’s sourness. he just offers his chocolates to share with mondo without saying another word about how either of their days went. mondo always appreciates it. and they spend the rest of their day winding down and watching movies while downing michi’s entire stash (mondo always ends up having more because he has a bigger sweet tooth. michi doesn’t mind).

anyways yeah uhhh… idk if these headcanons are my most favorite (i love them all, don’t get me wrong) but they were the first ones to come to mind. hope y’all like them.

[the-last-quest]

A Nine graffiti fic where Nine makes poor decisions in the name of making art.

(idk I’m bad at summaries)

[2312 words]

Nine rolled over in his bed and glanced at the clock resting on his bedside table.

2:35 AM it read, the red glow of the clock shining down on the young fox.

Normally Nine would curse his poor sleeping habits. Staying up late or waking up at absurd hours in the morning, a byproduct of living in a city where time never seemed to matter. Right now though he was at least a little thankful for it. Even though he couldn’t 100% guarantee that the other two members of the household were asleep, there still was a higher chance he could do what he had planned without getting caught.

Nine tossed off his blanket and hopped out of bed. He flicked on a lamp illuminating the blank wall in his room. During the previous week he had moved around the furniture and posters in his room in order to give himself a blank slate. It's not like he had a lot to move anyways, even though it had been a while since he settled here in Green Hill there wasn’t much of his own decoration in the room. Well that was going to change tonight.

Everything hinged on what was in the bag that was currently sitting in Nine’s closet.

Nine’s attention was first drawn to the bag earlier that week when Tails was giving him a tour of the lab. He didn’t really need the tour, already having snooped around before he and the other fox became at least civil to each other, but having someone who knew all the ins and outs of the lab certainly drew his attention to things that he didn’t notice before, namely a bag full of spray paint.

Which led him to now, pulling said bag out of his closet. He unzipped the bag and dug around in it removing the cans from the folds of clothes that he had shoved in between the cans to quiet them when he smuggled the bag into his room. As much as he wanted to criticize the hedgehog’s poor can packing he couldn’t help the smirk that grew on his face when he noticed a distinct lack of a rattle as he unpacked the cans.

He flipped a can over and his suspicions were confirmed as he found what he was looking for, a magnet at the bottom of the can, holding the mixing ball still within the can of paint. Maybe he should give the hedgehog more credit, if only a bit.

Nine didn’t know how important silence was when spray painting here, but back in New Yoke, as loud as the city was, it was still important to be as silent as possible in order to keep an ear out for any stray eggforcers, so he was quite familiar with these magnets. Maybe after this he should ask Sonic about it.

As Nine pondered about that he picked out a black paint can, and removed the magnet from the bottom. He bit his lip as he glanced towards the wall that he and Tails shared. He made his way over to the wall furthest from them and tried to mix the paint as quietly as he could. Thankfully he picked a fuller can so the mixing ball wasn’t too loud. After mixing the paint Nine sprayed a couple of puffs into the air, checking it, before placing the magnet back onto the can.

Now with the paint mixed up and the wall space cleared and ready Nine was hesitant. Did he really want to do this? He bit his inner cheek as he started to question himself more. Sonic did say he could decorate his room however he wanted but he was sure that this isn’t what he meant. If the hedgehog really did care so much about art would he get mad about him using his paints?

Nine shook those thoughts away. Sonic wasn’t like that. He’d probably make some stupid joke about it or something.

He kept repeating thoughts similar to that as he tried to steady his nerves. With a deep breath Nine brought his hand up and started to paint. He’ll deal with what Sonic thinks when he finds out.

It wasn’t anything at first. Just random lines as Nine got used to spray painting again. It had been a while since he last painted. Paint was hard to come by in New Yoke, the fox often having to resort to digging through the garbage for even the slightest chance of finding something useful. Nine had run out of most of his supplies before Sonic appeared, and of course he didn’t have the time to attempt to do any art during the whole shatterverse event.

A smile grew on his face as the motions of painting came back to him. He still didn’t attempt anything too big but as he grew more and more comfortable he started to paint some loose doodles of whatever came to mind.

Once he felt like he was warmed up, Nine stepped back from the wall to admire his work. A small feeling of pride bubbled up as he looked at the doodles. Sure they weren’t the best things he ever did, but chaos did it feel good to get back into the groove again.

Of course that's when reality had to hit him again, the smell of the paint finally registering in his mind.

Nine stifled a cough as he pulled his shirt over his mouth and nose as he made his way towards the window. He was already pushing the noise with the paint, if he broke out into a coughing fit he was sure he would at least cause some concern.

He threw open the window and leaned out as far as he could in order to get as much fresh air that he could into his lungs.

Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing to spray paint in a room with no ventilation and no face protection but even as Nine suffered through his poor decisions he could already feel himself itching to start painting again. This time though he would be at least a little bit smarter.

Now that the window was open there was a slight breeze that made its way through the room.

‘Good’ Nine thought to himself as he brought himself back inside, he wouldn’t have to turn on a fan to get air circulation in the room.

Back in his room Nine went to his drawers and rummaged around in the for a second before he found what he was looking for, an old bandana, one of the only things he brought from his home back in New Yoke. The bandana, while not being the most effective face covering, was what he would use whenever he would venture out into the city to make art. He could probably do better with the covering, get a covering that would actually protect him from the chemicals inside the paint, but something about the bandana called to him in this moment, one of the only positive memories that he held from the city.

After the fox tied the bandana over his nose and mouth he returned to the cans that he had set out.

Most of them were near empty, not that it was too surprising, Nine wouldn’t expect anything more from the hedgehog. It was a bit disappointing that there wasn’t as much paint as he had expected, but it was not too much of an issue, he had worked with less before.

Nine picked up a different can and returned to painting. He’d return to the window often as he painted, either to get some fresh air, or to mix up the paint outside. There was no plan to what he painted, just going with the flow of whatever he most felt like painting.

Eventually that led him to painting a self portrait of himself, similar to the one that he had back in his base. The design was something that he painted a lot back in the city so the motions came naturally to him. It was like a calling card to him, similar to the animation that he made for his hacking adventures. Something that let him leave his mark on the world, letting him be seen without running the risks of any physical altercations, if he ignored eggforcers of course.

He got lost in the act of painting, his window breaks becoming less and less until he could feel his chest begin to ache from the chemicals he was inhaling. As much as he wanted to continue it was hard to justify it healthwise.

The fox took a step back and admired his work. He was able to fill up about half the wall, leaving plenty of space if he wanted to continue on a later date. Satisfied for now he turned off the lamp before he made his way back to the window.

With a practiced ease Nine lifted himself up and over the windowsill, landing onto the soft grass below. It wasn’t his first time he left through this window, and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last.

He removed the bandana and shoved it in his pocket, letting the fresh air enter easier. As he stood outside, taking deep breaths to clean his lungs, he took a moment to take in the silence. It was one of the reasons he snuck out so much, the silence completely different from all the sounds from the city, but there was still the soft noise of nature, a small but stark difference from the silence of The Grim.

Nine’s plan was to head to the lab and to possibly start working on a new project. It wasn’t like he could return to his room tonight, even though he might be dumb enough to paint in there he wasn’t dumb enough to sleep in there.

As he made his way around the house something caught his eye, a splash of blue on the house, hidden somewhat behind a shrubbery. Nine made his way towards it, intrigued, but he was quickly able to figure out what it was.

His plan changed, only a bit as he turned back to return to his room. Maybe just a little more painting wouldn’t be that bad.

~~~~~~~~

Sonic was up early.

It wasn’t uncommon for the hedgehog to be up as soon as the sun rose, energy buzzing under his skin practically forcing him to go for a run to burn it off. He didn’t mind it though, it was nice to have some time for himself out in nature.

It was when he had returned from his morning run when he noticed something was off.

He returned to the house, approaching it on the side as that was the quickest way. About to make his way to the front door of the house he noticed that Nine’s bedroom window was open. That caused him to pause. He was aware of Nine’s habit of sneaking out at night, but the kid was always back in his room by morning.

Sonic made his way towards the open window. Normally he would give Nine his privacy, but right now he was concerned.

Whatever he was expecting when he peered into the window it wasn’t this.

The first thing that he noticed was the smell, the scent of chemicals hitting his nose right away, causing him to let out a couple of coughs. Well at least he knew where his spray cans went.

He had to admit that Nine had talent. He had seen the art he did in his lab back in New Yoke, but he never had the time to appreciate it. And even now he had other matters to attend to, specifically the location of said fox. Putting aside his concern about his location, he was grateful that Nine wasn’t in his room, if he could smell the chemicals from just the window then it probably wouldn’t be healthy if he had decided to sleep in his room.

Sonic decided to look in the lab first. It was his best place to find Nine, he reasoned, as he didn't see any sign of the fox in the living room when he left the house for his run. As he made his way towards the lab he almost missed the last piece of art Nine had made last night.

Tucked behind a shrub was a tag that Sonic had made on the house ages ago. It was somewhat of a tradition for him to leave his tag somewhere on his and Tails’ multiple locations scattered around the world.

He smiled as he saw a yellow tag right underneath his blue one. The fresh paint was a stark contrast to the faded paint of his old tag. He was going to have to re-do them eventually. Maybe he could have Nine tag along.

Plans of having Nine and him paint together began to form in his mind as he continued his way to the lab. And just as he expected he did indeed find the fox in it.

Nine was at his desk in the lab, the computer open on some random program that Sonic wasn't even going to try to decipher, fast asleep, a yellow spray sitting on the table next to him.

Sonic shook his head fondly at the scene. He grabbed one of the blankets in the side of the lab, ones that were there for this scenario and draped it over the sleeping kid.

While he tucked nine in he noticed the bandana and assumed that that was what he used in place of a respirator. He sighed at the poor excuse of a mask, knowing full well that there were proper ones in this very lab.

When he wakes up they’re gonna have a long talk about proper ventilation.