#and i've spent a lot of time trying to understand that mindset in fandom and i understand their talking points

[monstersinthecosmos]

Something I want to add, and like, not to be cynical, but just. Trying to be realistic here lol.

The people who need to see this type of post are never going to -- they'll see it and dismiss it. They know that there are real people behind the names, but they also believe they get to decide when it's moral and correct to hurt others. They believe you deserve it. They will hurt you anyway.

And that's kind of where I'm going with the whole like, call it for what it is thing. Like, you have to see this stuff as abuse and as fascism and see it as a carceral mentality that exists for the sake of punishing others. And that's why it's important not to be fooled when people cosplay as leftists while acting like cops, and why it's important to see this type of censorship and shaming as inherently fascist.

You can say "I'm a person and you're hurting me" all you want, and they will go "You deserve to be hurt because you're writing something that I personally do not approve of." And like, there's not a lot you can do for that type of person if they're not willing to look at your humanity. It's something they have to figure out on their own.

But at the same time, I think we can have these conversations to support each other and remind each other that we don't have to make space for this type of behavior. I try not to post about fandom wank unless I think it might encourage or support someone, and I just think like. idk! I can't magically heal your hurt feelings when people are cruel to you, but I can tell you that they're insincere and their opinions don't matter lol.

Please surround yourself with open minded and reasonable people who actually want the world to be a better place, and don't want to play fan cop on the internet! It's not about putting yourself into a bubble or an echo chamber, it's about not tolerating the tactics of oppressors!

yknow we talk a lot about like, calling fandom fascism & censorship out for what it is, instead of couching it in words like anti/proship that make it sound sillier and less abusive than it actually is, and I think we also should confront the way social media preys on anger responses for engagement and how participating in toxic fandom behavior feeds right into that.

it's not rebellious to lead fandom dogpiles and drown yourself in the mire of drama, it's playing exactly into the outrage algorithm and participating directly into capitalism in a way that is so deeply unethical, not to mention so self-harming. This isn't a situation of no ethical consumption under capitalism -- this is not shopping for groceries at Walmart because it's all you can afford or using a cable provider that endorsed MAGA because it's the only one available your area -- this is something so very easy to boycott and to refuse to participate in.

i was just peeking at some fandom drama on twitter because I am susceptible to watching the circus act just like everyone else lmao, and it genuinely astounds me the way the most abusive and petty people come online and try to cosplay as leftists who are somehow doing all of this for a righteous cause. It's just so deeply cognitively dissonant. (put a pin in this and remember everything we've learned about accountability vs shame and how often people use shame to make themselves feel better when it's entirely unproductive to the issue they claim to care about yatta yatta.)

anyway that's my thought this afternoon--framing fandom drama into more real world contexts always sounds a little bit silly, but I think if you're a person with hobbies who uses the internet as a social space, we have to stop treating it like it's silly and can't harm you, can't influence you, can't hurt your feelings. i'm sure we all have close relationships and countless GOOD things we've gained from fandoming and it's ridiculous to propose that you can't also cause harm in equal measure, and we can't spend every day reading fic, talking to other fans and making friends, hanging out in discord, and then pretend it's not an important space for you.

stop letting capitalism ruin everything. fandom is inherently anarchistic and there's nothing more anarchistic than continuing to be kind to each other when they don't want you to be!

[prettygoododds]

Thank you so much @rimeswithpurple @emeryhall @roomwithanopenfire @monbons @nausikaaa @artsyunderstudy and @martsonmars for the tags! You can definitely tell everyone is done digging themselves out of the holidays and countdown. I'm loving all the content I'm seeing.

I've particularly liked seeing some people's fandom's resolutions. It made me think of my own.

I spent a lot of last year trying to find a good balance between the things I'm obligated to do and the things I want to do. By the time the COC hit, I was in the mindset that the things I needed to do were too much and I had to skip COC this year. This made me incredibly angry and resentful. I hated that the thing I wanted to do was the thing I gave up. So, with spite fueling me forward, I did the COC and I'm so glad I did. But that did make me reflect on how I proceed.

I'm not going to overthink things. I'm going to do the things that make me happy. And what makes me happy is this fandom, the supportive people in it and writing. I need to lean on other folks for the things that are obligations. I don't have to do all the things, but I should at least do the things that bring me joy.

That being said, who wants to see a little of that joy?

Picket Fence blurb:

This happens again and again.  An almost blowie in his kitchen, a hot and heavy grind on his sofa that came to an abrupt halt when his aunt stopped by, and one unfortunate tumble in his garden that ended with both of us thorny and grumpy. And look, I’m all for edging, but not like this. Not spread out over days and days and with no actual end in sight.  I’m ready to explode. Literally.

A non-Carry On blurb (A Power Unbound Jack/Alan) :

“Apologies my lord,” Alan says back, breathing heavily into neck. “I wasn’t expecting you.” “Am I to understand you are always entertaining handsome men at your desk then?” “There was a handsome man at my desk?” Alan says cheekily. “I only saw you, my lord. Who could see anyone else once you’re in the room.” “You do not have to placate me,” Jack growls, frustrated by his own insecurities. “I know a younger, better man when I see one.” “You’ll have to point them out to me next time,” Alan says, catching Jack’s chin in his fingers and forcing him to look him in the eyes. “For I saw no one who could hold a candle to my stubborn aristocrat.” Jack has to close his eyes and absorb that last sentence.

I have something else that I'll be posting soon, but I don't want to spoil it so just know you'll see something soon-ish.

I've also got to start work shopping something for the COBB. If anyone has an idea I would not be opposed to a little jump start because I am stuck.

Ok, well, I feel this got wordy. Thanks if you stayed to the end. Here's some very non-pressure tags:

@ic3-que3n @dohrnaira @thewholelemon @facewithoutheart @imagineacoolusername

@shemakesmeforget @ivelovedhimthroughworse @wellbelesbian @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla

@blackberrysummerblog @supercutedinosaurs @nightimedreamersworld @valeffelees @iamamythologicalcreature

@shrekgogurt @ileadacharmedlife @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @hushed-chorus @youarenevertooold

@noblecorgi @talentpiper11 @bookish-bogwitch

[argentumcor]

@paranorahjones tagged me in this. I'm not usually one for this sort of thing but I've been looking at writing-qua-writing to get some stuff in order so I figured I'd do a little navel-gazing (procrastinating).

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Oh goodness. I think my first fanfic was for KotOR back in…before 2008, before I graduated high school. It’s lost to LiveJournal I believe, or FF.net. Several things are. They were fine, as I recall. Written when I was a lot younger for sure. I had to write them, though.

How many fandoms have you written in?

To go by AO3, 30 that I would consider actual separate fandoms. Many of those are one-shots, sometimes just odd ideas I had about something I watched or read or played, things I needed to get out of my head.

How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Must be around 16, though there were several years-long breaks in there. I am a dried-up old woman. You'll never be actually cool until you're over 30, kids, and then you won't even really care, get over it.

Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Frankly, read. I read very fast, I write not as fast, no one writes as fast as I read. For whatever fandom I’m working in, with exceptions, I will read new things and things I liked to help keep me motivated and inspired. As you can see from how many fandoms I’ve written for, I devour new fiction by nature. Verily, I hunger for it.

What is one way you've improved as a writer?

Pacing, pacing, pacing. I write my own stuff under my real name- I will not dox myself, partly paranoia and partly a sense of personal artistic ethics- and fanfiction has been my training wheels especially with pacing. It is the hardest part of fiction to me, something intuitive you have to have a go at until you find the right sense of it.

What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Hmm. I’m not a great barometer for weird. In recent memory, I spent a lot of time walking around every stupid alleyway and cranny of Night City in Cyberpunk 2077. I spend a lot of time feeling around in the guts of the fandoms I write- sometimes that’s really what it feels like you are doing.

What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

Hard to pick. It’s really nice when someone gets what you’re doing with structure and theme for longer works, but the people who are just struck plan by something I wrote are very special to me. All my commenters are, really. You guys rock. You know what though? The ones who say things like “oh thank God I found this, it feels like it was written by an adult who cares about the characters as people and not some teenager trying to get off”, I like those ones best because I totally understand.

What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

Hmm. It’s a hard life, being a neo-paleo-counter-reformationist, but somebody’s gotta do it (rosary fics).

What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Crossovers most of the time. I have an X-files/SG-1 crossover I may never come back to because it required me to hold this kind of early aughts sci-fi mentality in my mind for two shows that both sync and do not sync and also isn’t where I, emotionally, am at these days. I don’t like to write crossovers generally because of that kind of thing and, even with reading, most of them are like a food combo only explainable by pregnancy hormones.

What is the easiest type?

Brief character studies where you’re looking at a character’s mindset during events. It’s simple and focused.

What is something that you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I started many moons ago, but never got around to reviving or really doing anything with, a Halo/Firefly crossover based on the end of Halo 3 that would have replaced Serenity. The crew finds some weird, old salvage adrift in the black…also my Firefly continuation since we’re on the subject, another ‘this is where the story is going’. I wonder if those notes are anywhere. No, no, wait, stop…

What made you choose your username?

I liked the sound of it. I’m Silverheart most places and argentumcor on Tumblr because Silverheart was taken so I just put it into Latin because neo-paleo-counter-reformationist and also, importantly, I am lazy.

Huh, I broke the formatting a bit? So it goes. I'll tag @womaninwinter because now she is double-tagged and this amuses me.

[beckmessering]

Hey, new to your blog and to opera, and first of all I want to thank you for sharing all your informative, comprehensive and entertaining takes with us. Theatre fandom is so much richer for it! Secondly, I wondering if I might trouble you for some resource recommendations and some advice r.e. understanding opera technically and artistically as a newcomer to the genre. Myself, I only have highschool/College rudimentary orchestral (flute) skills and sadly cannot write music, sightread or sing well (would love to and have tried in the past to teach myself, but it's very difficult and hasn't...really taken well), so while I enjoy so much of the opera music to which I've been exposed, I feel so much is going over my head. What's more, though I have a theatre degree and poetry qualifications, my background is more performance Art and modern non-musical stage, so again I feel I'm missing so much nuance as I take in opera and the glitzy mad world around it. One of my tentative goals is to one day write a libretto, so it's important to me to figure it all out, however I know this will potentially be a long process. The podcasts Opera After Dark and Aria Code have helped somewhat with my understanding, but more knowledge and simpler breakdowns can only help more. Am interested in particular to know how you'd approach educating someone in opera, as you are so well-versed. In about a month I'm going to a screening of Rheingold, which is very much the scary deep end for me (I'm a fluffy French opera fan), so I'd like to go in forearmed haha. Thank you so much for reading and for your content, looking forward to the new season!

hey hey! first of all, sorry for taking half a century to respond to this ask - this is so sweet of you to say, i'm really touched 🥹

about the advice - first, to all the opera friends who see this, feel free to reblog with your own advice and ideas! i don't feel like the most qualified advice giver (lol) because for much of my knowledge, i don't quite remember how i got it. i played classical piano for twelve years, but i never "properly" studied operas anywhere, so most of my learning is and was autodidactic. i think i spent a lot of time on the internet reading interviews with my favourite singers. i also once joined an opera club/society at my university, where i learned more about practical aspects of rehearsals and performing. if you have the chance, going to any kind of open rehearsal is also great to learn about how music, staging, and acting end up together. then, it kind of depends on what you specifically want to discover about the operas you hear, whether it's music theory or aspects of stagings, etc.

i think i can say a bit, though, about how to approach a first-time rheingold (or a first-time wagner?). the most important thing is: the veil of seriousness that seems to surround wagner operas does not exist. at least it doesn't exist for me. it can be no less funky and fun than any other kind of opera. especially rheingold.

it depends a bit from which side you're more prone to approaching something: if you enjoy analysing music to get closer to it or if you feel you have to get closer to it first in order to want to analyse it. i am of the second type, which means i try to drop all worries before going to see something new and approach it with a "yeehee fun!!" mindset. something i find extremely worthwhile in wagner operas, especially because the words and the story are so old, is putting yourself in the characters' shoes and treating them as if they were real people. this helps if you tend to look at everything through the emotional lens - feeling emotionally close to the story in some way, either through understanding the relationships or properly relating, can help with appreciating the music and developing an understanding of why it was written this way. i'm no huge music analyst by choice myself, though, i have to admit. however, rheingold specifically is a very fun opera because it illustrates its own setting quite nicely with the music - there's a lot of atmosphere in the music and there's a lot of tone painting going on, like music that sounds like diving through a river, giant threatening footfalls, sounds of a smithy, and such. several of these reappear multiple times throughout the opera, so one thing i enjoyed playing around with while and after my first ring cycle was this playlist:

it has all the ring leitmotifs the heart desires and it's quite fun to play auditory bingo with them - you can either listen before you go or afterwards and then check out a recording.

as you were in orchestra, perhaps buying/borrowing a score and reading along would also be an option for you? i do this only for the works that really, really interest me, but i feel it does wonders for the amount of things i hear in the music, especially for wagner, because sometimes you can recognise motifs by sight on the page first and then you actually hear them better. i'd suggest doing this after the screening, though, if you liked it.

i'm not sure if this advice is any good, lmao - if you have any more questions, absolutely don't hesitate to be in touch! :) hope that rheingold goes well (which one will you be seeing, btw?) and i'd be curious to find out your opinion at the end!! :D

[wisconsin2002]

You know the older I get the more I realise that cartoon communities and fandoms nowadays are really impatient and can't let a story roll out... Or.. They want so much obvious information spoon fed to them.

I've noticed it a bit with Amphibia fandom and I've noticed a lot aswell in TOH fandom aswell.

With Amphibia it's been.. People saying that Anne has just completely forgot and doesn't care about her friends and barely even thinking about them.

The constant nights that Anne spent on her laptop, looking for quite literally impossible and almost non existent information that the human world doesn't know about.. Trying her hardest to bring her friends back home and writing letters to her friends families during the holidays...

ITS RIGHT THERE! Anne has shown she cares so many times its actually mind boggling to me that this hot take even exists at all.

The one hot take I do understand is the one with people saying That Sasha doesn't seem to show that much care for what happened to Marcy. That one for sure should have been discussed more and maybe it will who knows. But Sasha was a big part of both Marcy and Annes life and it feels like we've just seen what Anne meant to her for the most part. I hope we can see more of a balance with the trio and their past and how that connects with them now.. Other than.. "SaShA tOxIc MEaNie BuLy Bad."

Ahhhh.. Now Owl house..oh boy

Okay.. Hot take analysis number 1

Vee

We dont know Jack shit about her and the fandom already hates her cause she didn't live up to their evil Luz headcanon and expectation.

At the end of the day. Yeah.. I guess you can say that the writting got slopy there a bit and was dissapointing..

But I mean you can also say that yall had mountain high expectations from a show that was told time and time again...was cut short and had many writing problems and production problems along the way because of COVID delays aswell.

I mean if you didn't see the plot holes coming idk what to tell you man. Feels bad dude.. Have a cookie🍪

I for one adore Vee and I think she's great but I also do feel a bit suspicious cause it all just seems so easy and knowing Owl house's mysterious nature in the show...Vee could maybe possibly be.. a Trap.

Analysis number 2

Amity and Willow

Some people say that the whole reason Willow and Amity's bond hasn't gotten stronger is because of Lumity.

Now I can't say I've seen this often but I have seen it enough times to be like

Wtf.. No seriously like what the actual fuck?

I thought it was obvious since Understanding Willow that Willow is giving not only herself but also Amity time and space to grow past what they went through or atleast time to where they feel comfortable enough to talk about what they went through together in the future with a healthier mindset and growth. I thought it was obvious that while Willow still has not warmed up to Amity enough to go back to the way things used to be... They respect and understand eachothers past struggles that lead up to those unfortunate events... But I guess it wasn't to some people... Why?..

People want shit spoon fed to them!

Well if you want spoon fed info.. Dana Terrace herself was actually asked about Amity and Willow already becoming friends in the future seasons.. My memory is a bit foggy but I think she said something around the lines of Willow had been through a lot and so has Amity and they both need time to just figure themselves out right now before any of that can happen.

Now my memory is a bit foggy so take what I'm saying there with a grain of salt.. Altho I for sure do remember Dana talking about where Amity and Willows relationship goes from here.

Also I will agree that Willow is a gem that no doubt deserves so much more screen time. 👏

Analysis number 3

Lumity and chemistry

I dont see this often at all cause lumity is such a beloved ship by many including myself💜

But some people.. NOT ALL.. But some say they have very little to no chemistry...

Let me tell ya something buddy.

If these two.. Can dance for 1 minute and that being the only piece of chemistry they have.. Can manage to make the shipper twerk their asses and make piles on top of piles of Artwork and fanfics off of that singular dance to the point in time it completely overshadows the actual Canon relationship in the show...

And this Rated PG stalker can be considered a good love interest.

Than these little cuties are fine💜

I won't lie. It's not a perfect relationship. There are flaws for sure. What relationship doesn't have flaws?

But the woman broke her damn leg for Luz and literally jumps into danger for her with no hesitation whatsoever. They get a pass.

No to mention that they bring out the best in eachother. Amity Was a forced self a centered Bully whom was about to let Luz get dissected and gutted like a fish.. And lost touch of everything that once made her happy to give herself this fake persona of a rich entitled bitch All to fit into the family name of the Blight family tree. And Luz Is a wild extroverted nerd that never really saw the complicated side when it came to her choice of choosing the path to become a witch.

Both on different paths... And both having obstacles keeping them in that path with choices to make and not exactly knowing how and where to take things anymore.

That's why I love it. Lumity was a great solution to both of their cries for help. Because now they have eachother in their lives to help eachother out with any issues that come their way. They both no longer feel like they only have one choice to make and one path to follow.

So..

In terms of Lumity having no chemistry...

Well I think I typed enough of an essay🤣.. Just thought I'd talk about some hot takes that had me pretty confused.. But they are opinions at the end of the day so I'm not really here to change anyone's mind... In fact I do understand where people come from with some of their takes.. I'm just here to inform in a way I guess or talk about something that's been on my mind as well.

[terubakudan]

This may be an old article from 3 years ago, but these cultural aspects/observations still apply even today. And though this is strictly a Chinese perspective, a lot of these everyday life bits are observed in Overseas Chinese communities in countries such as The Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia, etc. as well as countries heavily influenced by Chinese culture like Taiwan, Japan, and Korea.

I've always liked learning about other cultures and making comparisons between how things are done East vs West. Which probably stems from growing up with two cultures and Mom raising me on American movies xD

So the irony is if you asked me how many Chinese, Taiwanese, or Hong Kong actors I know, chances are I know as much as you do xD Like Jackie Chan, Andy Lau, and that's about it. But if you asked me about Western (specifically American and British) actors, then I have a useless brain dump of movie trivia and who was with who in what movie xD

Hmmm, both Taiwan and the Philippines are two distinct cultures but both look up to a certain country and are fascinated by that. In Taiwan's case, Japan and the US for the Philippines. In both cases, this is due to being under the rule of those countries in their history. Taiwan being under Japan for 50 years, and the Philippines being under Spain for 300+ years, followed by periods of American and Japanese rule. To put it simply though:

Taiwan is "mini-Japan with a very Chinese culture".

The Philippines is "former colony of Spain with lots of American influences".

But unlike the author, I've never set foot in any Western country, so my understandings are strictly what I've observed in media, which while it can be accurate, doesn't compare to actually experiencing the culture.

Some further elaboration on most points:

#1 We quite literally use chopsticks for everything. We use it to pick rice, viands, vegetables, fruit, smaller desserts, almost all the food you can think of.

But where do you put your chopsticks when you're not using them? Just put them on top of your bowl or flat on your plate. But do not ever stick them vertically. It's taboo, since it looks like incense sticks, which we use to pray for those who have passed, like our ancestors or during funerary services.

#3 The majority of Asia is obsessed with fair/white skin. In my time at the Philippines, I grew up watching all these Dove Whitening commercials and my classmates often commented on how fair my skin was, how they envied it etc. In Taiwan, girls often say they don't want to 變黑 (biàn hēi) 'become dark'. Japan and Korea too are not innocent of this either (if their beauty/skin products weren't a dead giveaway).

People here at Taiwan often mistake me for being from Hong Kong or Japan (as long as I don't speak Mandarin with my heavy accent xD). A Taiwanese classmate of mine joked that she often gets mistaken for being from Southeast Asia due to having a darker complexion. And while I laughed it off with her at that time, looking back, I now realize she was lowkey being racist. xD

And believe me Filipinas have mentioned literally being told 'your skin is so dark' here in Taiwan, or being given backhanded compliments like 'you're pretty despite having dark skin' and...*facepalms*

My point is, beauty is not exclusive to skin color. People who still think that are assholes.

#5 Not to say we don't have salt and pepper, but yes soy sauce and vinegar are the classic condiments you see on the table, be it at home or at a restaurant.

And if I may add, Taiwanese love their pepper. xD If you ever get to eat at a night market or a smaller "Mom n' Pop-style" restaurant here, some dishes/soups tend to add quite an excessive amount of pepper. Not like anthills, but quite liberally and way more than average. Enough that you see traces of pepper at the bottom of the food paper bag or swirling in your soup. xD

#6 I know this all too well from personal experience. In my years of studying at Taiwan, I always had roommates. 3 in my first school (I graduated high school in the Philippines pre K-12 so I had to make up 2 years of Senior High), followed by 2 in college, with the exception of 1 in freshman year.

My college did offer single person dorms but at around 9000 NTD ($324) per month compared to around 6000 NTD ($216) per semester. Because I wanted to save, the choice was obvious for me xD. But ah, this doesn't mean I don't value personal space, in fact I love having the room to myself, and since both my roomies would go home to their families every weekend, weekends were bliss for me xD

And you don't have to be friends with your roommates (that's an added bonus however), you just have to get along with them. I was quite lucky to have really great roommates all throughout my schooling years.

#9 In the Philippines, we do. Owing mostly to American influences and maybe being predominantly Catholic? xD

#10 *sigh* Chinese parents and parents from similar Asian cultures tend to put too much emphasis on grades, so much that kids could get sent to cram school as early as elementary. This is because what school you get into could literally affect your future job opportunities, and while that's not exclusive to any particular country/culture, I feel it's especially pronounced here in Asia. I'm really lucky my own parents weren't that strict about it. However, if your parents don't point the mistakes out to you, chances are you'll do it yourself, if you're an Asian kid like me anyway. xD It just becomes a habit.

#11 My family is an exception to this. xD We do say 'I love you' directly, but complete with the 'ah eat well ok?', 'don't scrimp on food', 'sleep well' and similar indirect words/actions of affection. We were doing 'Conceal, Don't Feel' before it became popular. xD

#13 I'm kind of confused about this but this has sort have changed over the years in which eye-contact is now more encouraged. But don't stare, especially at elders and authority figures. Sometimes it's just shyness though. xD And I've observed this with my own Taiwanese friend, especially when I'm complaining or ranting to her about something. xD I'm a person who likes to express my opinions strongly, which tends to scare/alienate some of the locals here, as doing so is kind of frowned upon. Thankfully, she does listen and offers her take on things.

#14 Ah this. xD In the Philippines, this is a common greeting known as beso-beso, and I freaked out too when an auntie did that to me. xD Needless to say, Mom lectured me later on what that was. ^^"

#16 Along with #3 another crazy beauty standard. In my view, people always look better with a little meat on them and when they're not horribly thin. Asia still has a loonng way to go with accepting different types of bodies if you ask me. This combined with modern beauty standards has made the pressure for women especially to 'look beautiful' higher than ever.

I know many people love them but please, starving yourself or glorifying eating disorders is never OK just to get this kind of 'ideal' body. I'm not part of the Kpop fandom, but even I think when idols get bullied just for gaining the least bit of weight among other insensitive comments, that's really going too far.

#17 'If you want to make friends, go eat.' <- I couldn't agree more. In the Philippines we have a greeting: 'Kumain ka na ba?' (Have you eaten?) . Similarly in Taiwan, we have 吃飯了沒? (chī fàn le méi), both of these can mean that in the literal sense but are often used as greetings instead. By then which invitation to having lunch/dinner together may or may not follow. Food really is a way for us to socialize and to catch up with what's going on in each other's lives. Not to say we don't have regular outings like going out to the mall, going shopping, etc. but eating together is a huge part of our culture, be it with family or friends.

And while I'm at it, some memes that are way too accurate good to pass up xD

Parents, uncles, aunties alike will fight over the bill xD

Alternatively:

You just space out until your name is called xD

My parents are guilty of the last one. Logic how? xD

#18 True. xD I like giving compliments out to people but I have a hard time accepting them myself, though I've learnt how to accept them much more now than before. We're kind of raised to constantly downplay ourselves so we often say things like 'ah no no' or 'I'm really not that good'. The downside of this of course is that it can come off as somewhat fake. xD

Again from personal experience, that same classmate who made the lowkey racist remark, she was good, she was on the debate team, was a honor student, knew how to mingle with people, but she downplayed herself way too much, while praising me but I honestly thought that she never really meant it from how she treated me. She wanted to keep me around her yet make backhanded compliments at me and she didn't want me socializing with my other classmate who is now my friend. *sigh* It was only after discussing this with one of my roomies did I realize how this 'excessive downplaying' might come off to people like me who more or less grew up with a more 'Westernized' mindset. I'm not saying brag about your achievements but don't be overly humble about them either, which can also be a turn off.

#20 We do tend to be a lot more realistic on how we view things, neither entirely optimistic nor pessimistic. We try to think of things practically and often analyze things on pure logic. A downside of this however, is that Chinese people can be overly practical. Taiwanese for instance don't like to 'find inconveniences' and generally keep to themselves, meaning, they won't help you in your hour of need even when they do have the capabilities. Sounds really harsh I know, but in my 6 years of living in Taiwan, while this doesn't apply to all the people, a lot of them really do only find/talk to you when they need something.

So for some people saying Taiwanese are 'friendly', that's BS xD If you ask me, Filipinos are infinitely more friendly, and again while not all, generally make more of an effort to help you when you need it. I really felt more of a real sense of community during my years growing up in the Philippines compared to Taiwan.

#21 Children do tend to stay with their parents well into college and adulthood, since Chinese families are indeed very family-oriented, in a lot of cases, grandparents often live under the same roof as us as well! And it really does save a lot of money. I see there's a real stigma in the US when it comes to "living with your parents", but that's starting to change especially because of Covid and having more and more people move back in with their parents.

Housing unfortunately is pretty much hella expensive no matter where you go, and Taiwan is no exception. Steep housing prices and the very high cost of raising a child (schooling + buxiban fees, etc.) contribute to a very low birth rate and thus an aging population like Japan. It's not uncommon to see both parents working in Taiwan.

#23 I'm an overthinker myself, but I totally agree with the author that the best is to strike a good balance between these two. Which I guess is why I love drawing or any other related creative attempts, it helps me be more spontaneous or well, creative! I like to remain intellectually or artistically inspired.

#24 Is French high school really like that? xD My friend did watch SKAM France and more or less got a culture shock from what was depicted on the show. I can confirm however that most high schools both in the Philippines and Taiwan require students to wear a uniform, only in college is everybody free to wear casual/civilian clothes.

#26 Ah this is part of our Asian gift-giving etiquette xD We always open gifts later after the event/meeting and in private. Never open them in front of the person who gave it to you or in front of others. This is to prevent any 'shame/embarrassment' that may result both to yourself and to the gift giver. I know this may come off as something weird since some people may want a more honest response or immediate feedback when it comes to gift-giving, but that's just how it is in our culture. You're always free to ask us though (in private) if we liked the gift or not ^^"

#28 I want to say the same goes to drinking, partying, and drugs however xD Those are things which are still frowned upon in our culture. And to be honest, whenever I see those in movies, it does kind of turn me off xD It doesn't mean that we're "uncool" or "boring", we just think that there are much better or healthier ways of "having fun".

#31 Is this true in France?! Man I would kind of prefer that instead of people being on their phones all the time xD This kind of goes with #20 in that Chinese are overly practical or logical, and don't read fiction as much as nonfiction. My Taiwanese friend is an exception though, she's a bibliophile who loves the feel of paper books compared to e-books, and it's a trait of her that I like a lot. Both the Philippines and Taiwan however have a huge fanbase when it comes to manga and anime though.

I'm all for reading outside of "designated reading" at schools especially. Reading fiction improves your vocabulary too, and can be quite fun! It helps you imagine and really invest in a world/story, and if you ask me something that I feel Westerners are better at, they're more in touch with their emotions and creativity, and are thus much more able to write compelling or original stories. Believe me, I've seen a fair amount of Chinese movies that rip off Western movie plotlines xD

#33 Nothing much to add on here..except that since I'm a "weird" person, Mom often jokes that she got the wrong baby from the hospital. xD

#35 True. While I agree with the care and concern that your fellow community can give you, the downside of this is we tend to only hang out with our own people, e.g Chinese with Chinese, Taiwanese with Taiwanese, etc. I've seen too that it's especially hard to make friends in Japan and Korea as a foreigner. Not only is there the language barrier, but the differences in culture too. In a way, Asians can be pretty close-minded on getting to know other cultures or actually making friends with people from other countries. I know this all too well being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, being neither "Filipino" enough nor "Taiwanese" enough. xD It's more of people here being too used to what they're comfortable with.

#36 Oh this is something I feel that Chinese students and other students from similar cultures should really improve on. xD How will people respect you if you don't speak your mind?

I felt bad especially for my Spanish teacher in college, granted it was an introductory course (Spanish I and II) but the amount of times that our teacher had to prompt a student to recite/speak even with clear hints already made her (and me too) extremely frustrated. The thing is, these are college students, I personally feel they don't have any reason to be so shy of speaking and technically by not doing so they're slowing the pace of the class too much and a lot of time is wasted.

Unfortunately you can't always be very vocal with your thoughts and opinions in most Asian cultures. I would say strive for that, but at the same time, play your cards well, especially if you're in a workplace setting.

If you made it to the end, thank you for reading and here's a cookie! 🍪 I'm not perfect and there's bound to be something I missed so please let me know if you spotted anything wrong. Feedback/questions are very much welcome and please feel free to share about your country/culture's differences or similarities!

[noir0neko]

sometimes i feel like ppl wanna pretend tumblr's writing standards doesnt exist but when someone actually talk about how trying to reach it tax them out, ppl go 'dont follow it!!! do you!!! be your original self!!' but end up not showing the same amount of support with the notes. and the writer ends up looking ridiculous and pathetic for voicing out their tiredness about the standards (double standards?) idk i've been thinking about this.

Hey there :) 

I think I understand what you’re trying to say! I’m going to voice my thoughts on this and if it’s not what you meant, please correct me! I’m glad you felt you could share your thoughts with me, I am always here to chat <3 

This is going to probably be a long post so the rest is below! 

This is something that has plagued me since I began this blog almost five years ago tbh. I was super attached to getting notes and gaining followers, especially when I first started posting my work. Which created this cycle where I was writing what my followers requested and only that, and became really upset when a piece didn’t do as well as I hoped. But then I wasn’t always writing what was in my heart and forcing myself to write when I wasn’t into it, which deteriorated my passion for it over time until I took a hiatus. 

As a whole, especially in fan fiction writing, and especially for BTS, there are specific AU’s and ideas that get more attention than others. Certain genres get more notes and attention, and so do stories that center around certain members. Unfortunately, that’s something that I think all fan fiction writers have to deal with, no matter the fandom or band or book series. 

That makes it really hard, especially when first starting out, to NOT fall into the algorithm of putting out works that only fit within that genre. And then it becomes a habit and then a chore and can become not fun anymore. I definitely did that and that was a huge reason why I ended up leaving for so long. 

I have put original works or pieces that I am passionate about, but not requested on this blog and generally, they never do as well as the more “by the book” fics. It sucks and I definitely agree with what you’re saying in many ways. While the sentiment is nice, of writing what I want and being original, that’s not what is typically successful on this platform. Not in my experience. 

I still have to remind myself when I post something original to not be depressed or upset that it didn’t get as much attention as I hoped. I still have to remind myself that when I see another writer with thousands of likes on a fic they posted a week ago that it doesn’t make me any less of a writer. I also have to remind myself that my note count and my follower count doesn’t matter. But I live in a culture, especially as a woman, where those things matter very much. People see others and their worth in terms of their social status, by followers, likes, comments, etc. That mindset is hard to escape, even here on Tumblr. 

I have lost a lot of followers since I came back and made my blog more diverse than just BTS. That sucks and it hurts, because this has been my baby, but if I continued to just be BTS, then I wouldn’t be able to share my diverse passions and other interests with people and would feel constricted and restrained. Before I left, I spent a long time answering ALL of my requests and putting half ass work out and I came to the conclusion during my hiatus that I would much rather put out works I felt SO proud of and have them do alright, then put out works I thought were crappy and have them do great. 

I know I am staying as true to myself as I want to be on here and that matters. 

As a reader and a writer, it’s always easy to encourage other people and not follow through. Sometimes certain topics or genres sing to one person and don’t for another, and that’s completely okay. I do understand what you’re saying and I feel that way, as well. I sometimes post little rants to try and engage with everyone here and to help you guys get to know me better and me get to know all of you. But most of them go ignored from what I can see on my end, and it does discourage me from posting anything personal at all. 

It can be really easy to fall into a cycle of negativity on this platform, especially if I start comparing myself to other people. But I know that a lot of what I would be getting upset over is largely left to chance: people may not see what I posted come up on their dash, I just came back from a two year hiatus, pretty much all of the people I knew here before have left, and I have opened my blog to include other fandoms that some of my former followers may not want to see. There are so many variables on a website, especially one like Tumblr. 

And despite feeling discouraged sometimes, like no one really reads my writing or will care about my next fic, I know I will feel proud of myself for finishing it and sticking with what I am passionate about, so I keep going! 

~Admin Eggplant

[bornofdragonstone]

So I've never shipped Steve and Natasha before, nor have I ever really understood this ship. But you know what - I do believe that you have started to convert me. They really do have a special connection, don't they?

Omg, I’m so sorry I didn’t see this until now! But I am ALWAYS happy to have shared my love for a ship/fandom/character and the fact you sent this is really heartwarming, so thank you very much.

And I really do feel as though romanogers is quite an overlooked relationship in the mcu by several fandom members so I get why you missed their connection with it being such a large fandom.

And this is kinda like an essay on why I ship romanogers, that you totally don’t have to read, so I’m going to put it under a cut!

(This is a huge ass expatiation, so be warned)

I think the reason a lot of us ship Steve with Natasha is because Natasha has always - and continues to - struggle with seeing the light inside herself. She is the notorious Black Widow, several characters have struggled connecting with her and that has kind of made her, I feel, stick in a mindset and opinion of herself that isn’t true.

I love her bond with Tony, the banter, the playfullness. But one thing that has always stuck with me is the fact he has said more than once that she can’t be trusted and that she will always be who she is - a double agent. The very reason Bruce/Natasha was so overly rejected by the fandom was because she openly called herself a monster, opened herself up to him and seemingly all of her character went completely out of the window.

It wasn’t in character, no matter how many times people want to say ‘seeds were planted in the first avengers’ (if that’s true the same can be said for Steve/Nat as they fought together, had each-other’s backs and had a good connection that seemed to say they knew what the other was thinking - let alone Clint/Natasha which they openly promoted - like they are with Natasha/Steve for Infinity War), it isn’t Natasha’s character to put herself into a position to feel vulnerable when there’s no cause to. And to have Bruce, kind of reject her advances, but kind of give in, but not tell her she isn’t a monster, that her past doesn’t define her, really left me feeling sick in my gut.

Another thing with Natasha’s character is she is constantly looking for approval and loyalty from someone, anyone - she thought she had that with shield, she thought she had that with Fury (someone who is a father figure of sorts to her) but she later found out she wasn’t clued in on his plans in CATWS because “I didn’t know who to trust?” ouch.

I am honestly not bashing these characters, I love them, but you can not doubt that the things they say, the way they ‘handle’ forming relationships/trust with her is honestly disheartening and so sad considering her backstory.

Then you have Steve, who is in my opinion, the embodiment of everything good and noble and heroic in the MCU. I can only imagine that’s how Natasha probably viewed him. They exactly didn’t hit it off. But they had a playful relationship entering CATWS, she not only went out of her way to flirt with him, play with him and see how he would react but she also spent the better part of the movie trying to see if he had “anyone special” and went on to try and find that ‘perfect’ someone for him.

Scarlett has said Nat sees versions of herself in Steve, but she wants happiness for him (isn’t that what love is supposed to be?) something she doesn’t think she deserves (which is why I feel she thought she could settle with another ‘monster’). So Natasha has this kind of vision she wants for him, but she goes about it in a very Natasha esque way and that’s why, I feel Steve shrugged it off at first and thought she was trying to annoy him.

Then they go through quite a lot of traumatic things together - being hunted by people they thought they could trust, having buildings dropped on them and having to learn to trust each-other. Through this, Steve is kind of made to see that Natasha is deeply conflicted about her past and her place in the world, when he sees this he sees she isn’t just that flirty double-agent and that she is a woman who has gone through some deep shit that left her quite isolated and mistrusted/misconstrued by the world.

And in a moment of vulnerability, she chose to open up to him. In a second, he sees how vulnerable she is and he quotes herself to her (something that shocked and amazed her because she obviously didn’t think he picked up on those serious moments) and she is made to feel a part of something, a small piece of something - since the rug that kept her up since the red room had been pulled from underneath her.

That is the scene that made me turn my head and think ‘oh’. Because to have the human embodiment of everything that is good in the world tell you “I trust you” and “I finally get you” to the girl who feels she is the human embodiment of everything that is bad is such a big deal, especially because it is Nat.

From there on out it was a relationship I believed in, even just as friends. But then I saw the look in her eye when she said “call that nurse, Sharon.. she’s nice” and the look in Steve’s eye when he pushed her towards Bruce because he thought they “both deserve a win” and it made me convinced there’s more to what they feel for each-other even if they don’t understand/know it themselves. 

Then lets speak of how they never leave each-others side (except briefly during the mess that is Civil War but even then she ends up going against her head and follows her heart by siding with him). Tony leaves the avengers, so does Thor at the end of Age of Ultron - as does Clint. Steve also has a conversation with Tony saying he doesn’t think he will have a family and stability because that isn’t who he is anymore - he says this in the same movie Natasha says she is infertile and can’t have that kind of life either yet he still says (even as Tony and Thor and Clint leave to lead the lives they thankfully get to live) “I’m home”.

Who does he go to the scene after? Natasha. And she is already upset and in a emotional place as her best friend has left the avengers, as have her other friends and the guy she ‘adores’ (ugh, no thank-you) but Steve is still there, he continues to stay because they, somewhere along the way, became each-other’s home. The avengers was their home, but even Nat says to Steve “Stay home, please”.

These are two people who have been let down by friends, family, enemies and have lost a hell of a lot. They fight in sync, never leave the other’s side, want what’s best for the other and throw in flirting “there’s plenty of room on the jet” & “I bet you look terrible in them (bikini’s) now”. Everyone loves (the shippers who ship Steve with two certain guys - which I get) to brand Steve and Natasha as a brotp and with everything I have explained I honestly don’t get it. I don’t get why they made br*tasha a thing or why they made romanogers the embodiment of everything you would want in a partner/relationship whilst paring her with a guy who is the complete opposite (though I love Bruce individually).

I could go on all day, you’re probably like “wow girl, I was just trying to say I appreciated how you introduced me to something” but these are some feelings I have had on the pairing for a while.

I’m also bummed that Chris Evans (who ships romanogers) and Scarlett Jo said there is no time for romance in Infinity War even with all the promo content and images we are getting of them always being by each-others side after being underground together for three years (and nothing happened? I honestly don’t believe it). 

But I am honestly just happy with the pair and how great they are for each-other. Any fellow shippers should just hold onto that, no one can take their bond away. If there’s no romance, there’s always an open ending we could potentially get. And they may have no romantic scenes but they are compatible (given all I said, their differences and all), never leave each-other and could have hints to be something more or could even have a statement of them being together but no actual romantic scenes as there is gonna be 60+ story-arcs to tie together.

But I wouldn’t go anywhere or lose hope. And I would wholeheartedly still believe in the pair.

[transgendeerboy]

I can't seem to stop feeling sad and empty. I shouldn't feel sad. I should be happy and confident. After this long wait, this long time spent searching, I know who I am. And I like who I am.

The thing that really sucks is that other people don't. Some don't know. Some don't like it. Some don't know but if they did they wouldn't like it. And it sucks. 

It sucks that they put political signs in their yard, proclaiming their support for people who wish me dead. It sucks that they laugh at anti-queer jokes and support transphobic public figures.  It sucks that they make bigoted statements and wonder why I'm so "touchy" when I get offended by it. "Offended" is a dirty word, unless it's them being offended because there are people in the world who are different from them. 

I go to the same church I've gone to all my life. I don't really know why I still go beyond the fact that it's easier to maintain that particular status quo than it is to endure my family's questions. So I go. The church has one of those stupid signs out front which always has some ridiculous one liner on it. My grandmother is in charge of that sign. Right now it says: "Don't like the way you were born? Try being born again." That feels kind of targeted if I'm being honest. I hate it. That kind of thing is why people hate American Christianity so much. Love your neighbor? Sorry, I don't even know her. I'll gladly slap her in the face with this shiny Bible though.

The thing is, there's really nothing wrong with being offended by bigotry. It means that you feel things. It means you have passion and compassion and empathy. The only reason they think there's something wrong with it is because they don't like anything that pushes against their cis white heteronormative worldview. They don't want to feel empathy for people who are different from them because it might mean their views would need to change. It might mean accepting that they aren't always right. 

When I was in high school, I tried to kill myself. I didn't understand who I was back then but I knew that I was different. And everyone around me knew too. They didn't let me forget it. I wasn't successful with that attempt and I'm glad that I wasn't, but those old feelings are the same ones I'm feeling now. The thing that helped me get out of that mindset back then was moving. I went to live with my dad for a while. Social media wasn't a thing back then. It was the 90s. So moving got me away from the people who were hurting me. That allowed me time to heal. Social media is a thing now. It's really difficult to get away from the bullies in 2021. 

I could delete my accounts, of course. But that would also mean cutting myself off from the friends I've made, cutting myself off from my fandoms and some of my local support systems. I could block the people that I know are bad for my mental health, and I've done quite a lot of that, but it wouldn't stop the articles and the people who laugh react when the news reports the death of a trans person. It won't stop the ads and the hateful comments on those ads. 

Last week, an ad for a trans health survey came across my feed, so I clicked on it because that's relevant to me and I am happy to do my part to improve trans healthcare. But the comments on that ad were atrocious. So I said, "hey OP, maybe clean up this comment section. How are you going to help us with healthcare if you can't even keep derogatory comments off of an ad targeted to us?" Then someone with a profile picture that said something about being kind to everyone said essentially, "Everyone has an opinion. You just have to take the good with the bad." Le sigh. So you should be kind to everyone unless they're like me. You should be kind unless you feel entitled to hate someone just because they exist and want their needs to be met. Got it. 

It's all very overwhelming and it's hard not to be sad. I honestly really like myself. I wish my body was different. I wish my voice was deeper. But I'm beginning to see myself in the mirror and I know that guy. I like that guy. And the fact that so many people hate me without even really knowing me hurts.