#and i've probably still left something out
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I'd like to tell you all a story about my grandmother.
My grandparents raised their children, four girls (one of them my mother), to be fighters. My aunts marched in Washington for women's rights with babies strapped to their chests and like to joke that all of the grandchildren who came from that line (including myself) were born with picket signs in their hands.
But it started with my grandparents. They fought hard for what they believed in. They marched against Vietnam. They marched for Martin Luther King. They marched for women's rights. They marched for a better future.
But let's talk specifically about my grandmother for a moment.
My grandmother unfortunately passed away in 2016. She had to watch the first Trump election and did so knowing that it would probably be the last election she'd ever see. And there is some argument there that she could have given in to fear and defeatism. She could have decided none of it was worth it, and she could have decided that fascism had won and the world was over.
But she did something else instead.
To give some context, my grandparents had friends who were Republicans. I say were, because they shifted from the normal Republican towards the MAGA Republican we see today. And despite a very clear message from my family about how we felt, they were more than ready to still come to the funeral as if everything was normal. Like their beliefs were normal. Like they were welcome to celebrate someone who had fought so hard for the rights of other people.
These were people who would have absolutely used their rhetoric to scream and shout if they were left out or disinvited.
And so my grandmother, even past her final moments, pulled the most brilliant, petty move I've ever seen.
She'd decided ahead of time that everyone who had known her was more than welcome to attend but that she wanted everyone attending the funeral to donate money. That was the requirement to be invited. And so everyone did just that. There was no talk about what the donations were for, just that they were appreciated. I want to say that the assumption was the money would help pay for funeral expenses and give the family some support while we grieved.
Except that wasn't the case.
Because in those final moments of the funeral, the rabbi stepped forward to thank everyone, and then very cheerfully announced;
"Arlene was so happy to know just how many people were coming to join us here today. She couldn't have been more proud of her family. And I'm sure she would have been elated to see just how much money you all gave today to Planned Parenthood."
When I say that the faces of those people are enshrined in my memory, I mean it. The anger, the devastation, the rage, the betrayal. It was an absolutely gorgeous display of true defeat at the hands of a boss ass old lady who literally fought with her last breath and threw up both middle fingers all the way out the door.
What I'm saying is this.
It is very easy to feel defeated. It is very easy to think that everything is over, and there's nothing left for us to do. It's very easy to say that fascism won, that fear won, that hate won.
But that's only true if you let it be true.
There is always more that we can do. There is a future that is still worth fighting for. And it's more than possible, even when it doesn't seem like it.
And fighting is going to look different every time.
Some days it will look like picket signs in our hands.
Some days it will look like spending time with friends and family and people you love and knowing that you have a community that supports you and your vision of a brighter future.
And some days, it's pulling absolute natural level 20 petty trickster shit even after you've left the world.
Because you can always make an impact and you can always add a little brightness to life, and if that means tricking a group of MAGA idiots into throwing their money behind Planned Parenthood in the middle of your own goddamn funeral then that's what it means.
Keep fighting. People have done it before you. People will continue to do it after you.
And enjoy the little victories.
(Even the petty ones)
#us elections#equality#equal rights#protesting#picketing#fighting#we can do this#we truly can#take a break and then keep fighting
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
The Blue Glow
→ premise: What starts as late nights spent helping Paige through heartbreak slowly shifts - until you’re left wondering if friendship was ever the right word.
→ word count: 4k
It’s just past two when you hear the key rattle in the front door, followed by the soft creak as it swings open. Paige, your roommate, usually comes home late on Fridays, a little buzzed or maybe high after a night with her teammates or her girlfriend. You’re used to hearing her stumble in, her laughter still lingering from whatever fun she’d been having, always fading into the quiet of the apartment.
You call her name, waiting for her confirmation. She’s the only one with a key, but saying her name and hearing her respond feels safe, like a habit you’ve formed without thinking. Silence. You lean back in your chair, letting your game screen idle as you peer through the small crack in your door.
You wait a moment, letting the silence of the apartment settle around you before it's broken by the unmistakable shuffle of her kicking off her shoes, the soft thud of her door and then steady beat of music seeping from her room.
You turning back to your desktop and unpausing your game. Your fingers move across the key‐ board, killing pixelated monsters and yet still, your mind crawls back to 20 minutes ago, when Paige walked in.
Were you supposed to knock on her door and ask if she was okay? Basic roommate etiquette would assume so, but it's not as though you and Paige were buddy-buddy. Sure, you'd chilled together a few times to catch up on Netflix's latest murder doc and yeah, she'd invited you to one or two of her teammate's afterparties (none of which you'd gone to, instead you offered polite decline that assured she really didn't need to ask you again).
At most, you and Paige were just in each other's orbit. Nothing more than two girls attending the same university who got placed together in an apartment just off-campus.
The clock ticks to 3:15, and finally, the music fades into silence. She’s probably asleep now. You tell yourself to focus on your game, but your gaze drifts to the wall, your thoughts lingering on her room just a few feet away. Honestly, you’re not sure why you’re still awake.
***
You’re unpacking your groceries when you notice her—Paige, sprawled out across the couch like she’s trying to disappear into it. Her hoodie is pulled low over her face, but you can still make out the outline of her eyes, locked on you the moment you glance in her direction.
"You good?" You ask, feeling the need to soften your voice - something in your body tells you to tread carefully.
She yawns, stretches, and when she speaks, her voice is thick with sleep—rougher than usual, like she hasn’t quite woken up. “Yeah, just a bit fucked up.”
There's something in her tone that gives you pause like she's daring you to dig deeper. You hesitate. It sounds bad to say, but you've always liked the unspoken agreement between you two - the comfortable distance, once again, like planets moving in the same orbit but never touching.
You take the bait. "What's up?"
She pushes herself up, so she's now resting on her elbows, “Ari fucking broke up with me."
The two had seemed to be one of the few couples who could go the distance. In the few games you attended, you'd seen her girlfriend always present, aptly draped in a number 5 jersey titled 'Bueckers'. As far as college relationships went, it seemed like love.
"Oh." It's all you manage to say at first, unsure of how to respond. Were you supposed to hug her?
Paige drops back onto the couch, covering her face with her hands. "Yeah, oh."
"And it's final?" You ask, "Cause, it's never really over, over. It's probably -"
"She blocked me," she cuts in, still deep within the recesses of her hoodie. "She probably blocked me the moment I left her place ... I've messaged her and called her but it goes straight to green or voice mail."
You nod, once again unsure of what to say next. You'd don't have to think because Paige drops in again. She had a one-of-a-kind skill of unknowingly being able to fill in silences.
"It's not like I cheated or she cheated," you hear the emotions flooding back into her voice - it's not sadness, well it probably is but it's wrapped up in anger and disbelief. "Which spins me because it's not like we were in a bad spot - okay yeah, I wouldn't respond sometimes, but that's normal, sometimes I'm genuinely tired from training!"
"Maybe she's stressed too and it's all a bit too much to deal with," You say.
She throws you a quick look, something between betrayal and you're not helping. It's fast, and she cools her features back to normal.
"- Not that I'm saying it's a good excuse," you counter, "But, it's something to consider. Did she actually say why?"
"Something about I'm not present. It's bullshit," she sighs.
You want to say something comforting, anything, but everything that comes to mind feels hollow. Besides, it's not like whatever you could say could put a bandage over a 2 year relationship ending.
She sits up again, her hoodie falling back to it's rightful face. She looks around the room, her eyes itching for something to distract her from whatever uncomfortable feelings she can feel rising. Her eyes fall on her set of keys, the original red fob you'd both received on move-in day had long been overtaken by numerous keychains and fabric bracelets - even a heart picture frame.
"Hey, do you want to do something?" She asks, "Get out of here for a bit?"
At the tip of your tongue is some vague excuse about how you really need to cook right now, but before it can come out, she speaks again.
"Please - I really need to step out for a bit." Her voice is soft, just about holding back a crack.
You're not a monster so of course, you nod and say sure. You don't ask where to until you're following her long strides down the hall and into the low-lit car park. The night feels colder than usual and your bare feet in slides feel anything but appropriate for the weather.
An orange glow from a stray streetlight casts a small tinge of light on her face as she unlocks the door to her car. "I was thinking of going to the outdoor court. You know, the one near the park? It's just a short drive. I could really use a change of scenery, and maybe shooting around would help clear my head .... that cool?"
"Yeah," you say, because what else could you say? "That’s cool."
How cliche you think - a basketball player needing to shoot hops to clear their head.
The drive is quiet, the hum of the engine filling the space between you. Paige keeps her eyes on the road, and the tension in her shoulders is palpable. You can't help but think this is how she looks when she's on the bench, (playing the game in her mind, sizing up the opposition and just yearning to get back in).
Connecticut's lights blur past as you make your way out of the downtown area, the campus fading away as she turns into a quieter, more residential neighbourhood. The basketball court comes into view, illuminated by a few scattered streetlights and a single overhead light, casting a gentle glow over the cracked asphalt and faded court markings.
She pulls into the nearest parking bay, reversing in with ease, her arm draping over your headrest as she checks the mirror. It's then that you wonder how many times she's done this exact move with her ex. You imagine her ex sitting where you are now, lips fresh with a kiss and the seat shaped by her form.
A whole two years, you think. No wonder she was going stair-crazy.
You're now out of the car, rocking on the back of your feet as Paige gets her duffle bag out of the car. It's at that point when she finally asks you about your day.
You shrug, "It's been ight, nothing much to be fair. Just trying to get my head around ... we've got a new TA and the bitch marks hard as hell."
She chuckles in response, "Damn, tough one. You do something with economics, right?"
"Yeah, something about economics. Not my first choice but it's gonna do the job," you reply trailing behind her longer strides as she leads you both into the empty court.
"Economics. Get the job done?" she repeats with a playful scoff, a small smirk playing on her lips. "Can't tell if you're being humble or—"
"Not humble," you interject, "It's an ends to means."
She unzips her duffle bag and brings out her ball and bounces it a few times, the rhythmic thud echoing softly in the quiet night. "What's the end goal then?"
You're shrugging as you go to take your place on the edge of the court, watching as Paige moves around and seemingly becomes one with the court. (something about seeing her in her natural ele‐ ment) "Probably some cushy consulting job. I'm not gonna lie, I've got no idea but I've lowkey liked the subject all through school, it's just made sense to do it."
Paige dribbles the ball a few times, then takes a shot. The ball cuts through the air and swishes through the hoop. light work.
"I'm guessing you've always known what you wanted to do," you continue.
She nods, bounces the ball again, but this her feet and body moving across the court as though she's playing the last two minutes of a game. "Yup! It's always been basketball. From elementary, middle school and high school. Nothing but ball." she punctuates her last line with a throw.
"Wish that were me!" you say.
She looks over at you, the ball now finding itself passing from hand to hand. "You wanted to play ball?"
It's your turn to scoff, "No, I'm talking about the whole knowing what you wanted to do from the get go."
Paige pauses mid-dribble, her eyes narrowing playfully as she studies you. "Yeah, I get that. Not everyone figures it out early. But, you know, it's not like it's been easy. Just because I knew doesn't mean it wasn't a grind."
She takes another shot, and the ball glides through the net with a satisfying swish. As she retrieves it, she adds, "There's a lot of pressure, too. Once you say 'this is it,' everyone expects you to stick with it, no matter what."
You watch as she moves across the court, her pace slower now, more thoughtful. "I guess I just got lucky," she continues. "Or maybe I was stubborn. It's hard to tell sometimes."
"I guess that makes you one of the few," you say, leaning back against the fence, watching her with a mix of admiration and something else - something you can't quite put your finger on. Is this what her fans felt? It always spun you that she had fans. Fans. Would they be jealous right now? "Most people I know are still figuring it out, including me."
Paige stops dribbling and looks at you, her expression softening. "You've got time," she says, her voice losing some of its earlier intensity. "There's no rush to have it all figured out. Sometimes, the best things come when you least expect them."
She tosses the ball to you, and it lands in your hands with a gentle thud. You can feel the worn leather under your fingers, still warm from her grip. For a moment, you're both silent, the weight of her words hanging in the cool night air.
"Maybe," you say quietly, the ball feeling heavier and heavier in your hands. "But sometimes it feels like everyone else is racing ahead while I'm stuck at the start line."
"Play with me," she says, gesturing you over.
You look down at the ball and then back to her, "You're a D1 athlete. You're just gonna show me up plus I don't even know how to shoot."
"Come on, I'll teach you," There's a playful glint in her eyes. "It'll make me like five percent less sad."
You hesitate, but her enthusiasm is contagious. She hands the ball back to you and steps behind, lightly adjusting your stance. "Feet shoulder-width apart, knees bent," she instructs, her hands guiding yours on the ball. "Use your legs for power, wrist for control."
You try to follow her lead, feeling her breath close as she directs your movements. "And when you shoot, remember, follow through, like you're reaching into a cookie jar."
You chuckle at the analogy and take a shot. The ball bounces off the rim, and Paige claps. "Not bad. Let's go again."
Paige steps in front of you, her tone shifting slightly as she moves into coach mode. You can tell she's probably coached some little league somewhere here in Connecticut or wherever her home state was - she’d mentioned it numerous times but you’d forgotten. "Alright, keep your elbow in and focus on the backboard," she says, her hands demonstrating the movement. "And don't forget, it's all about the follow through."
You roll your eyes playfully. "Alright, coach. I got it."
"It's Coach P," She smirks, her eyes twinkling. "Just trying to make you a baller." You take another shot, and this time, the ball swishes through the net. Paige cheers, giving you a high five. "There it is! You're a natural."
"Light work" you say with a grin. It's anything but.
Paige bumps you lightly with her shoulder. "Not bad at all. But next time, we're working on your dribbling cause that shit was shocking."
***
Nights at the court, which you’d now come to know was actually called St Bernard’s Court, became routine much like when you’d call her name when she’d come back to the apartment.
You’d gotten used to settling into the passenger seat of her car, the familiar hum of the engine surrounding you as she drove, her hands gripping the wheel with that same steady determination. Conversations, once filled with awkward pauses and small talk, now flowed effortlessly. They were the kind of talks that never seemed to end - about everything and nothing, the mundane details of life at uni, complaints about bad food at the cafeteria, or her latest training session. It was simple.
Sometimes, she’d give up her dictator-like hold over the music and let your playlists take over, though more often than not, you let hers play on. You never minded; there was something comforting about the predictable beats of her curated selections. Her taste was always a little sharper, more nuanced than yours, and you found yourself adding some of songs to your liked list when you’d gotten back to the safety of your own room.
Sometimes, after an hour of shooting around, you’d both end up on the concrete, sitting against the low bleachers, legs stretched out before you, talking about whatever came to mind and letting the cold settle deep into your skin. But more often than not, the conversation would shift to her ex. It had become a quiet pattern: Paige would talk about her like it was a distant, painful memory she was still learning how to deal with.
She’d mention her in passing, her tone casual at first, as though it didn’t sting anymore.
It reminded you like she was just like any other girl despite the fame. Unable to resist feigning indifference to hurt - so you didn’t judge because you’d done it over and over.
“I don’t even know why she said that,” Paige would say, tossing the ball back into her hands, eyes focused on something far off. “I never meant to be distant. You know how it is; practice, school, games... life’s a lot.” She’d sigh, running a hand through her hair, shaking her head.
And then, almost like she couldn’t help herself, the bitterness would slip in. “She made it sound like I didn’t care at all,” Paige muttered, kicking the ball across the court. “Like it was all about me, me, me.” Her voice softened, the edges raw, the anger melting into something unspoken and lingering. “She didn’t even give me a chance to explain, to fix things. Not that it matters now.”
You listened. Not to solve anything, not to offer some platitude about how she’d be better off. You listened because, in those quiet moments, it felt like her words were a way of processing, a way to let the weight of everything settle into something less heavy.
Her ex wasn’t just a past relationship, not just a name you’d heard murmured in the back of conversations. She was a part of Paige’s present, even if it was an unwelcome one, lingering in the way Paige looked at the court sometimes, or the way she pulled away when you tried to get too close. Her ex was a shadow that loomed over your conversations, her absence filling the spaces that Paige didn’t want to admit she missed.
“You know, I thought she was the one,” Paige would often say with a dry laugh, picking at the fabric of her hoodie. “Stupid, huh?” She’d shake her head like it was all so ridiculous now. But the way she’d say it, softly, almost tenderly, like she was still trying to convince herself.
And then, just as quickly, she’d pull herself out of it, focusing on something else. “Anyway, I’m not thinking about her tonight,” she’d say, standing up and grabbing the ball.
At some point she’d move on. Stop needing the nights at the court and you’d be proud because your friend (it felt weird to call her a friend thinking about the times you’d dodged her invitations for connection, but things were different now) had moved on.
***
The nights eventually come to an end.
They’re stopped when you’re sitting in yours and Paige’s shared living room, letting the tv play in the background as you listlessly scroll on your phone.
The door to her room is closed but you can hear the familiar music playing through it. She emerges, her face flushed and eyes bright - frantic even.
“Yo ... Guess who just called me?” She announces, taking what felt like her first breath in hours.
You look up, the question hanging in the air between you. Your thumb hovers over your phone’s screen, trying to gauge her excitement.
Paige’s gaze is intense, a slight nervous energy vibrating beneath her words. She doesn’t wait for you to guess.
“Ari,” she says, her voice a little softer now, like she’s unsure what to feel about it. “She called me.” The words hit you unexpectedly, like a slow tide pulling at your feet. A small knot forms in your stomach, not because you’re unhappy for her, but because you weren’t prepared for this.
“Oh shit,” you manage to say, trying to push away the strange, unexpected sensation that’s fluttered inside you.
“She said sorry. She said she made a mistake. Fuck, I... I don’t know even know what think.”
You lean forward a little, trying to sound reassuring. “I mean, that’s a good sign, right? She’s reaching out.”
Paige exhales a short laugh, glancing down at her hands before looking back up at you. “I guess? But fuck, it just feels... messy.”
You nod, understanding the weight of her uncertainty. You’ve seen how much this relationship meant to her, and it’s clear she’s torn.
“You wanna talk about it?” you ask.
She shakes her head, a small smile creeping onto her face. “Not yet, I think. I just... I need to think. It’s all a bit much, you know?”
The room goes silent, save for the faint hum of the TV in the background.
For a moment, you sit in the quiet, the weight of the conversation hanging in the air. And maybe it’s just you, or maybe it’s just the way Paige is looking at you now, but you sense that something has shifted—ever so slightly, but undeniably.
You’re still not sure what that means yet, or if it means anything at all. But for now, you don’t push.
She sighs and falls back onto the couch, closing her eyes. “I’ll figure it out,” she says softly, more to herself than to you but you know she’s already made her choice.
You lean back, turning your attention back to your phone, but there’s an odd feeling in your chest that refuses to settle. For a moment, you wonder what would have happened if things had gone differently, if she’d never gotten that call. But before you can think too much about it, Paige shifts beside you, her presence pulling you back down to earth.
“Thanks,” she says quietly.
You smile, almost relieved that the tension has eased, even if only for now. “Anytime.”
The night stretches on, the air between you both comfortable again. And yet, you can’t help but wonder why you feel torn. Why aren’t you bubbling with happiness, like how you’d reacted when Zen had called you in senior year to say she and Trevor had gotten back together.
Eventually, you leave the couch, muttering an excuse about needing to get back to studying.
Ari comes back into the fold of life at yours and Paige’s apartment like she’d never left.
The songs that used to fill Paige’s room—those soft, sad, contemplative ones—shift back to some‐ thing lighter, more upbeat. Her shoes reappear, scattered carelessly by the door, mingling with Paige’s own, like they always belonged together. And just like that, you go back to being good roommates.
That doesn’t hurt. It’s respectful - because who’d let their girlfriend spend nights at the basketball court together? It makes sense.
It only hurts when you come back to the apartment and see them on the couch. The lights dimmed, a fluffy blanket over their legs and a Christmas movie playing.
The first time it happens, you’re awkward. Painfully awkward. Your body not knowing how to react for the first time to something you’d seen countless times before.
You hesitate in the doorway, suddenly unsure of how to move, unsure of what to say. The air between the three of you feels thicker, heavier than it ever has before. You wish you could say something light, make a joke.
They don’t even notice at first - Paige’s attention is wholly focused on the TV screen, her hand absentmindedly brushing through her girlfriend’s hair. You feel like you’re not even supposed to be here, even though it’s your apartment too.
Eventually, though, Paige looks up, her eyes meeting yours, and for a second, the warmth in them falters. She smiles, but it’s tight, apologetic.
“Hey,” she says, her voice a little too bright, a little too forced. “You’re back. We were just watching this cheesy Christmas movie. Wanna join?”
The offer is there, hanging in the air between you, but the tension is palpable. You force a smile, shaking your head quickly.
“Nah, it’s fine,” your voice comes out more strained than you’d intended. “I was just coming in to ... grab something.”
You spend the rest of the night at Zen’s.
“So bitch, what the hell is up with you?” Zen asks. her gaze sharp as she watches you.
You blink, focusing back on her, the buzz of the rosé clouding your thoughts. “Nothing, I’m fine,” you reply, maybe a little too quickly.
“Sure ... sure you are,” she says with a knowing look, before taking a long sip from her glass, then a pause. “Dude, you’ve literally been distracted all night. Moping around everywhere.”
You hesitate, a little caught off guard. You’ve told Zen about Paige, from the odd first meeting to playing basketball together and to the events which took place hours ago.
“You sure you’re okay with them... back together?” Zen continues, her voice quieter, but there’s a softness to it now. She’s not trying to push, just letting the question sit there.
The idea that maybe everyone sees what you’re trying to hide - maybe even Paige - that part makes you feel sick.
You take another sip of your wine, the sweet sharpness of it doing nothing to dull the growing ache in your chest.
“Yeah,” you say again, but it’s not convincing. Not to Zen. Not to yourself.
Zen’s eyes soften, and for a moment, she doesn’t look at you like she’s waiting for a response. She looks at you like she already knows the answer. You know it. Damn.
***
A/N: My first Paige fic! let me know what you think and if I should continue ... I haven't written fanfiction in years, which is a shame because I used really enjoy the fic writing/reading community. I've literally had this blog on the backburner for the last 3 or so years just waiting to find the right thing to write about and here it is ... I think?
#paige bueckers#paige x reader#uconn wbb#uconn x reader#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers angst#ncaa wbb#ncaaw#wcbb#uconn huskies
120 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'll Stay Here - Yandere!Leona x Reader
Content Warning: (soft) yandere, implied kidnapping/captivity, I fear the Stockholm Syndrome has ARRIVED
Word Count: 607
(Again, kind of a part 3 to this, but can be read on its own)
You really need to stop forgetting your things in Leona’s room. Luckily, he doesn’t mind you coming and going, but it’s still a pain to have to walk all through the palace to get there.
You’ve been keeping him company as of late, just sitting in his room while he naps or plays chess, meaning you like to bring your own stuff over to entertain yourself. Today, you left behind a book you were reading earlier, so you thought you would pop by really quick and take it back. Even though it was late in the evening, Leona would most likely be taking a nap right now, so he wouldn’t even bother with trying to engage with you.
Poking your head into his room, you confirm that he’s asleep before tip-toeing over to the table you left your book at. You grab it and turn to sneak back out, but you stop yourself when you glance at Leona’s face.
His expression appears so…soft. Free of the stresses his family, the servants, or even you sometimes cause him. He looks the most at peace he’s ever been…
It makes your heart swell, which is very alarming because you’re supposed to hate this man. And yet, despite it all, you still find yourself drawing nearer to him. Just to get a better look.
Leona sleeps soundlessly on his stomach, with his arms hugging the pillow his head is buried in. You can’t help but smile at the way his ear twitches; he looks like a napping kitty. It’s such a stark contrast to how he acts when he’s awake.
This is so frustrating… One minute you feel like you wish you never met Leona, and other times, you’re thinking it’s not so bad staying here with him. You have everything you need, and anything you want (other than freedom) can be given to you when asked. And Leona himself isn’t awful to be with… He makes sure you’re taken care of and remains respectful around you.
But do you love him enough to want to stay?
…You don’t want to admit you don’t hate him anymore.
Inching ever so closer to his sleeping body, you tentatively reach out to brush a strand of hair out of his face.
You shouldn’t…
Hesitantly, you lean down so that your face is hovering right over the crown of Leona’s head. You place the quickest and gentlest kiss on top of his hair, before immediately withdrawing from him. Trying to leave like you were never there, you turn towards the exit, but jump when a hand grabs your wrist.
A small yelp escapes your lips as you’re pulled backward onto Leona’s bed. Arms wrap around your waist, not too tight but firm enough to let you know that you won’t be leaving anytime soon.
“L-Leona?!” is all you can stutter out, hands uselessly pushing at his arms.
“Just stay here…please,” he utters into your ear, voice husky and surprisingly pleading.
“...Only for a few minutes,” you relent, letting him pull you against his chest.
A few minutes is all Leona needs. He’ll take what he can get.
He feels you relax next to him, and he couldn’t be more content. This was only a small step towards the future he envisions for you both, but it was still important progress. Leona bets you don’t even know how much he’s been holding back, how much of his feelings he’s repressed to make sure you’re comfortable here first. But with this small gesture, you’ve opened the doors to so much more.
You’ve walked into the lion’s enclosure, and there’s no getting out of it now.
~~~
Probably the last part to this little series. I've been cooking up something Savanaclaw related though, so stay tuned for that 👀
Reblogs and comments are always appreciated!
#yandere#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twst#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere leona kingscholar x reader#soft yandere#yandere twisted wonderland x reader
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
tit summary/thoughts/spoilers under the cut!! <3
hiii wanted to make one of these just so I can ramble about everything bc what a crazy night LMAOO gonna make another post about the day so this is just about the show
my soul left my body when the lights went dark omfg, that is literally one of my favourite parts about concerts/live shows. the smoke and lights was a lot but the second they came out it’s like everything cleared up, i loveee how they come out with their backs to us and then the happy silly music when they’re running around saying hi hehehehe
the whole intro/beginning part was so fun i just loved the bits when they were just talking to us, canada love, the history of dnp/why we're all here etc etc. the dolls/diorama is such a fun little phistory recap, though i will say it was not as wild as i was maybe expecting or what they've done on other nights lol. they "wrestled" in the first one, nothing in the manchester apartment, "kissed" (69-ed lol) in the london one and that was it but they were all SO well made (shoutout pj and sophie), i loved phil's hoodie for the 2 apartment era hehe
role model or no-le model: very fun section, i wish i could tell you all the fill in the blanks we did but i can't remember for the life of me lol i shouted yaoi so loud for all of the lawyer dan ones but alas :( but i do remember lawyer dan writes erotica about timbits, then when the side by sides came up on the screens after it had been changed to "Phim Phbits" which made them both genuinely laugh it was so sweetie. we killed regular dan and doctor phil
phanspiracies were: toilet, clothes, tour bus and wedding. honestly very solid picks, it was so surreal seeing those "phan proof" comps of them wearing the same clothes on the screen down to the zoomed in picture of the underwear from the christmas cookies video 😭 the tour bus clip will never not be crazy but it was SO funny bc we cheered so loudly after phil said it was true that they shared the bed and dan was judging us but all i could think about is the stunned silence from phantwerp day one, i will never forget listening to that live and it's probably been so entertaining for them to see the shift from that lmao. the wedding edits were so funny dan was like "i know you had that as your desktop background for 6 years" and someone behind me was like "YES I DID", dan's little kick and cheeky smile at "i'm just opposed to anything traditional" ok sure
i can't remember which section this was during it was something to do with discussing a past era but phil said "maybe I was just horny" and i screamed lmao
the boxing segment ajdjkskjsf i have been waiting for it my entire goddamn life tbh and it was so fun. no one told me about the visuals on the screen ok why do they look so GOOD in them?? i wasn't actually expecting them to knock each other out or anything but it did seem a tinyy bit tamed down from what i've seen before, like they were being very gentle with each other lol but it was cute, the bite was still bite-y and the run around the theatre was craaaazy, the camera following them is so good lol
they yapped for moose. meese. meeses for a minute straight and i forgot it was supposed to be a bit it was so natural they're good at it whether they like it or not
oh yeah that's the other thing. they are fucking INCREDIBLE performers. like, they are so good at what they do and it was one of the highlights of my life getting to experience it irl. the show is incredibly well paced, the script is funny, the audience participation makes it but it's so insane to see how well they work together. the comfort and familiarity after so many years plays a huge part (there was a solid like 7 shoulder touches btw) but their dynamic is soooo good, they play off of each other so well. literally everything @cheekyvank described to me about dan as a performer is true. he was ALWAYS moving, he moves his mouth and bends and grooves and does the absolute most but it's soooo natural, like he has so much fun doing it. that man is a theatre kid all grown up and it's incredibly endearing but he's also a master, like he was MADE to be on a stage, he's so fucking good at balancing between roasting and teasing us and pointing out at people and winking and he called out someone filming without actually saying anything and it was so smooth and lowkey hot but also like jesus i didn't even risk TRYING to take a picture i am sooooooo scared of him. also thanks to you @jonsaremembers i was looking forward to the 4 g's all night, i am their geeky girlie forever and ever 🫶
and phil. oh my sweet precious baby angel. my heart was burstingggg with phil love all night. he is so, so so so good literally everything right with this world tbh. you can tell he has SO much fun on the stage as well, there's moments where his smile softens or he just looks out onto the audience and i want to shower him with love and affection (and we did! i honestly think one of the loudest screams was for "normal phil" during role model hehe). he is so effortlessly funny, the silly little run over to the microphone every time for the "hiatus" was one of my favourite bits of the show. i absolutely loved his getting real with us bit, it reminded me so much of his youtube videos- and i hope he knows how powerful and meaningful that "light entertainment" is for us. his voice was soooo soft and gentle it was like we were his children he was talking to which i guess we kind of are in this context. i love him forever and ever
sister daniel. INCREDIBLE follow up. i knew it was coming and nothing prepared me for Her. another part of the set design/production that is so well done, the visuals and the bass dropping when she comes out is SOOO fucking good. i have never screamed so loudly in my life. i would do anything she asked me to. the underwear were so fucking short i could not see a THINGGG like. fucking hell. lots of pulling the dress down and legs crossed/staying sat the whole time though lol which fair but the confessions and water spraying was fun, it will never not be funny when dan shames people for opening their mouths after they say it's sister daniel's bath water lmfaooo
the SONG!!!!!!!! the most fun. in the entire world. it's so good it's so fun. the lyrics, them going FULL boy band mode, the hands folding over and doob grab was infinitely more devastating irl. dan is so fucking good at the dance i love you forever terminal theatre kid and i think phil has reached the peak of how well he can do it and i want to give him his flowers for trying his damn best every time you keep doing you baby. the part where it kinda slows down and they're just doing the geekiest moves ever like those are my BABIESSS dfjksajdks standing up to rave with dnp in a room full of phannies was the highlight of my entire fucking life.
this was SO much longer than i anticipated and i'm probably still gonna go on about things as i remember it but it was genuinely the most fun and memorable night of my life. i love these two silly little guys so much, it was so surreal seeing them in person after over a decade and i would do anything to experience it again but i'm so, so grateful i got to do it once and i will cherish the memories forever. and this has only made me more insane about them and cemented the fact that i wholeheartedly believe they love us, this new era, and that they're not going away anytime soon so i WILL see you guys back on the internet and hopefully outside of it one day again too <3
(i lied here’s the one picture I took aka far from dan’s prying eyes during the part where they’re not there being gay getting out of their clothes)
#dnp#dan and phil#phan#tit tour#titspoilers#tit spoilers#terrible influence tour#titronto#titblossoms#my show
81 notes
·
View notes
Text
This week’s writer spotlight feature is: thisapplepielife! @thisapplepielife has 37 works posted to AO3 in the Stranger Things fandom and 24 of them are in the Steddie tag!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @thisapplepielife:
Tuesday's Gone With the Wind
Take the Money and Run
You Oughta Know
Never Not Mine
Let the Boy Be Merry
"They are my favorite Corroded Coffin writer. I found by accident their fic “Tuesday's Gone With the Wind” and loved everything they wrote since!" -- Anonymous
Below the cut, @thisapplepielife answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
Steve Harrington. I found myself not connecting with S4 when it premiered, and decided that I probably just needed to rewatch the other three seasons again first, since it'd been a while between seasons. Well, Steve was always my favorite, but I left that re-watch with his voice fully lodged in my brain. So, I had to write something for him, just for myself. That was You Oughta Know. We all knew Eddie identified as a runner, and that just felt like the story to tell. Then somehow, for some unknown reason that I still cannot possibly explain, I decided to actually post it. I still don't know what possessed me to do that, honestly.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
I love a good second chance fic: A divorced couple that eventually rekindles. A missed first chance that they get to take another crack at, later in life. I also like a good heartbreaker of a fic. I know, I know. Don't get me wrong, I still love happy endings, but I don't require them. Break my heart. Do it.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
Slice of life? Is that considered a trope? I know I like to write about things we all deal with in real life, from the small and inconsequential: a mattress with a bad spring. The delight of clean sheets. Or the bigger: the real life heartbreak of unavoidable loss and grief. And older Steddie is my favorite, I think. I love to spend time writing for them. These boys that turned into men, who made a full life together, and it's great. Maybe not perfect. But they wouldn't trade it for the world. That makes me happiest.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
The One in Which a Time Loop is Fucking Exhausting by badpancake is the one I think of that grabbed me first, and did not let go. I still need to read the final part of the trilogy! My fic TBR is so, so long because I definitely struggle with writing and reading at the same time. I know there is amazing work out there that I've just never read yet. But I look forward to it, absolutely. It's just something I've never figured out how to manage well. Joining Tumblr has helped that immensely, though! Reading the shorter fics here has been wonderful, and I've enjoyed it so much. There are amazing things being posted every single day! And I gotta say that don't start (too late) by Ark is one of the best "first time" fics I've ever read in any fandom. Eddie's inner voice is wonderful. I believe every word he thinks while he experiences this brand new thing with Steve.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
It's not brand new to me, but there's a found family one that I've been tinkering with for a very long time, and that excites me. And I do love events for tossing me situations or prompts to write for that I may not have thought of, independently. @steddiemicrofic especially has been so, so fun. I think it was the very first event I wrote for on Tumblr, and the challenge of having a very limited amount of words, but still trying to make it feel like a whole story has been told, has been a blast. Thanks to @wynnyfryd and @steddieas-shegoes for challenging us all each month!
What is your writing process like?
I don't outline or anything. I just write, and edit, as I go. And I'll edit obsessively. I'll tweak and change small things over and over, ad nauseam. And even then, I know I still miss mistakes. But my mistakes are my own, I have no beta, because I kind of like being solely responsible for anything I write. Right or wrong. Here it is, take it or leave it. I also talk things through things in my own head a lot, especially dialogue, or I'll open a document, and just see where that takes me. And if I'm writing a long fic, like Tuesday's, I write totally out of order when scenes come to me. I wrote on every single year of that fic all at once. Then kept writing until they'd stitched themselves together into a full story. That's my last part of writing. Putting in the transitions from one scene to the next, when needed. Sometimes ideas are more fully formed before I start putting words to the page, and other times I literally just start and figure it out as I go. There's one fic I wrote for Steddiemas last year where I sat Steve down at a mall food court and then just started writing. I had no idea what that was going to be. (It was Eddie turning up as the Mall Santa.) Also: Research, research, research. I love the research aspect of writing. I'm curious in general, and if I can even think to look something up to see if it's true, or of the right time period, I will. And I like to add mixed media to my fics. That was a huge part of Take the Money & Tuesday's. All the newspaper articles and such. I felt like they were needed to make it feel like this really happened to these characters we all love so much. I did newspaper articles all throughout writing Tuesday's. In fact, I think that main article, the one at the top, was written and designed very early on in the writing process. They weren't all done at the end, they were done as the story needed them.
Do you have any writing quirks?
Short paragraphs. I love 'em. You'll pry them from my cold, dead fingers. Also see: Long sentences. Honestly, I do like to throw out the rules, a bit. I write by feel. How does it sound, to my own ear? If it works, for my character, my fic or just me in general, I'll use it. "Don't use two "ands" in a sentence." Okay, but sometimes I'm gonna when that flows the best. Or: "That's a run-on." Okay, but I like the way it reads. "You don't need a comma there." But, I like the way that it breathes, so it's getting one. All this is especially true if writing from someone's POV. I know I don't always think in proper grammar, and I don't expect them to either. I don't want things to feel hard to read, but I do want them to feel natural. If that makes sense. I walk around, pacing as I write or edit on my phone, as if the moving somehow lets me see it differently. I think it does! And I don't know if this is a quirk, but some of the characterizations formed while writing Tuesday's have stuck, hard. Gareth is Gareth Jones, and where you find him, you'll probably find Di. Freak is Goodie. Jeff is Jeff Williams. These things have been decided in my brain, and now I feel compelled to take them with me, fic-to-fic. I didn't intend to build a headcanon I wouldn't be able to shake, but here we are. I feel like I can transplant Steve and Eddie anywhere, into anything, and be comfortable changing things up. But the Corroded Coffin boys are cemented, as they were created, for the most part. Maybe that's because I did have to do so much shaping for them. Steve and Eddie, we know. We're all working off a decent amount of canon content. Corroded Coffin only had a few moments on screen to help flesh any of us flesh them out into real characters. And now that I've made my choices, for good or bad, they're here to stay.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
Finished, definitely. My three long fics were all mostly written before I started posting, and I still struggled to get the last part of All of Across the Universe out in a timely fashion. Tuesday's was posted over one week, one chapter per day, and I really enjoyed that fast schedule. It didn't give me any extra time to overthink the finished product. It was going out, and that was that. I had to trust that I knew what I was doing when I deemed it finished.
Which fic are you most proud of?
Tuesday's Gone With the Wind. I truly thought I was done after Take the Money and Run. And then this idea slapped me in the face, and I spent five months just lost in their world. These versions of the characters came so naturally, and they are still with me today. I feel like most of what I've written since then is shaped by those versions. Also, that was the last fic I wrote without anything else coming down the pipe. The last one before I joined Tumblr. The last one that had my full, and utter, undivided attention. It's really special to me, and I'm beyond grateful to everyone that has embraced it and recommended it to friends. I know it's got some scary warnings, but for those that have dove in and let me know that it spoke to you in some way, you've made me so happy. It spoke to me, too.
How did you get the idea for Tuesday's Gone With the Wind?
By watching the documentary "If I Leave Here Tomorrow" about the band Lynyrd Skynyrd. As I was watching it, there was an interview section where one of the band members spoke about their assistant road manager, saying: "He was like a bartender roadie. Where he took care of us really good, you know? Anybody who was sick, or needed a little more attention, he was just there for you. He was like the big brother, and sister, and your mama and everything." My brain whispered, Steve Harrington. And that was that. Corroded Coffin were going to get Road Manager Steve Harrington, and he was gonna take care of them as they headed towards this unavoidable disaster. I wrote like 5k words the first night. It was just in there, waiting to spill out, somehow. And I think it's also an anomaly for me, but I'm fairly certain I started that fic with what turned out to be the opening. That first bit of Eddie's first interview section. I think that's where I started telling the story, and it held throughout. That's pretty rare for me. (Fun fact: I wrote all the interview bits in a separate document, and then just fit and tweaked them into the story, as needed. But not that opening. That was the launch pad into everything else.)
When writing Tuesday's Gone With the Wind, what was something you didn’t expect?
It's not exactly a Steddie answer, but - Gareth! Gareth Jones, my beloved. I wasn't on Tumblr when I wrote Tuesday's or any other social media in a fandom way. I was in my own bubble, doing my own thing. So, I didn't know the fandom had given him a fanon surname. I chose my own, and now he's just Gareth Jones to me, and always will be. He's also Eddie's best friend. I've pondered on more than one occasion on if Take the Money and Run would be different if I knew that first, lol. Just exploring my version of a character that had so little screen time to work off was incredibly fun. And has remained fun. Gareth is definitely gonna show up again in my future works. He's to Eddie, as Robin is to Steve in my head now and forevermore.
What inspired Take the Money and Run?
These lyrics from the song "Me and Paul" by Willie Nelson: Almost busted in Laredo But for reasons that I'd rather not disclose But if you're staying in a motel there and leave Just don't leave nothing in your clothes I had a literal shower thought that made me laugh. And thought, well, why are they even in a motel? Oh, they must be on a road trip. So, I wrote that little scene mainly in my head, but jotted it down, just in case, and assumed that was the end of it. But then I just kept writing it. Until I was knee deep in maps and mileage and research trying to figure this road trip out from a logistics standpoint. All because I thought it'd be funny if Eddie left weed in his pants and Steve got all put upon because of it.
What was your favorite part to write from You Oughta Know?
I loved getting to include all the fun 90s things, since that's when I was a teen, and can remember a lot of it very distinctly, first-hand. And I loved getting to use El's powers to look in on Eddie, so while they might not know where he is, they did know that he seemed to be doing okay out there in the world. Also, if I could go back and change one thing about it, I'd fix that I said Eddie's never had an acoustic guitar. I didn't notice his acoustic in his room until my re-watch. Oh well. This version of Eddie didn't, I guess, lol. (This might be from the second part, Eddie's POV. But still. It's my Roman Empire. I think of this mistake at least once a week and beat myself up. If I'd been on Tumblr at the time, I feel this would have never happened, because someone would have blogged about it, drawing my attention to it, surely.)
How do/did you feel writing Never Not Mine?
This one is heavily inspired by the Taylor Swift song imgonnagetyouback. It was fun to dig into a slightly angstier world for a bit. Because things don't always work out, or if they do, not always the first time around. I like to think they'll find each other again, in any universe, but they might not take the easiest path. They aren't perfect, and that's realistic.
What was the most difficult part of writing Let the Boy Be Merry?
Crying while writing it. This one slapped me around a little while writing. Life isn't always as romantic as fic leads us all to believe which, the audacity, honestly, lol, but the kind of love and relationship in this fic? That feels real to me. Old, and familiar, and even as well as you know a person, you can't read their mind. You don't always get what the other needs immediately, you don't get how important things can be to them, but figuring out how to compromise is love. Real, lasting love.
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
This question was hard! I'm gonna pick two from Tuesday's: For the first, I cried while writing and then cried again while editing the scene where Eddie and Steve hash out how serious their relationship is, and realize they've kind of been on different pages. There are two scenes in Tuesday's that got to me, and made me cry while writing them, over and over, and I don't even know why. (The other is Gareth picking that fight with Steve. Yeah, yeah, I know. Neither of these parts are the saddest parts of Tuesday's. But they stripped me raw, for whatever reason.) And a second, more fun, favorite: I'm gonna go with the scene where Eddie's naked and tripping on mushrooms in the backyard while Steve hangs out with him, and Eddie thinks they've written "Tom Sawyer" by Rush. That was so fun, and just a feel good write, if that makes sense. That whole summer they spent at the lake I look back on writing fondly. They are so in love there. They are all happy. And this scene is carefree in a way that they won't always be, due to circumstances coming down the pipe.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
I run @corrodedcoffinfest and I've got a whole list of planned pop-up events coming up over the next few months for that. Steddie is absolutely welcome, so if anyone would like a little more Corroded Coffin works in their life, consider coming to join us! I also finally updated my masterlist, so everything I've written for Stranger Things is finally gathered together. There's a lot that's still only on Tumblr and not on Ao3 at this point.
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
Thanks so much for including me and my works in this! And to the person who nominated me, thank you, thank you! You really made my day. It was fun to think about these fics again, and answer these questions. I've really enjoyed writing for Steddie, and I've also enjoyed making friends in the fandom. Thanks for welcoming me. Thanks for showing my fics love, and commenting or leaving kudos or reblogging. Just, thank you all so much. And I'm sorry if these answers were too long, lol. As a habitual "end notes" kind of writer, that's just the way I roll.
Thank you to our author, @thisapplepielife, and our anonymous nominator! See more of thisapplepielife's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#writer's spotlight#writer's wednesday#steddie#steddie fic recs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things
60 notes
·
View notes
Note
Stop, we're too full of your delicious meals. We can't take anymore of it. 😫 (still have room for anything masterpiece of a fanfiction you have blessed us for today and more. 🤭) I don't think I've seen you done rodimus or not. Think you can whip him up one? 😗
I did, but also haven’t updated the Masterlist since it’s a pain on my phone. Here’s part two, though
Attractive Today Pt 2
MTMTE Rodimus x Reader
• “Nothing broken, but probably a concussion,” Ratchet grumbles, drawing back from the limp form sprawled on a Cybertronian sized exam table to lightly smack the scanner against his other palm. Like he’s thinking about hitting him with it, even though this isn’t his fault. How can he possibly know what everyone on the ship is doing all the time? Co-captain doesn’t mean watching the crew all the time to make sure no one’s doing something stupid. It shouldn’t anyway. “How many of them are there?”
• Spreading his hands in a shrug makes Ratchet’s servos tighten on the scanner. “Brainstorm was a bit vague on that part,” Rodimus says, attention dropping to the human. They’re tiny, but surely if there were more, they’d have been noticed already. He hadn’t brought up Brainstorm’s vague and oddly threatening ‘not on the ship,’ either. Because he’s not at all happy with the implications of that. “I don’t suppose you might-“
• “Absolutely not,” Ratchet cuts him off, now brandishing the scanner like a weapon. “That isn’t my problem, captain.”
“Co-captain,” he mutters, gingerly picking the human up and trying to not shudder at how disconcertingly limp it is in his hand. Megatron was supposed to be the one handling the boring, responsible stuff. Like reports and making sure stuff like this isn’t happening.
• Whirl had wanted it, but actually handing over a very small, very helpless thing to that lunatic? Almost as bad as the idea of more humans left behind on planets or ships they’d interacted with or passed too near. Or just floating out in space like horrifying, frozen markers behind the ship. That he refuses to think about. Maybe Mags will take it? He likes humans. Possibly. Striding out of the Medbay in search of Magnus, he starts running through possible alternate human sitters. Swerve?
• Head pounding, you squint your eyes open with a groan and lift a hand to touch your temple. Or try to. Your arms are pinned at your sides and whatever’s restraining you is warm, shifting slightly against you. And with dawning horror you remember that awful metal chicken-legged abomination snatching at you with those claws while the other one egged him on. Chasing you. There’s been a third one, right? Right, turning your head you stare up at the red and yellow nightmare staring down at you in surprise. “Hey,” it says, flashing a lot of big teeth in a big mouth.
• And you’re screaming again, and Primus, you have some volume. “Don’t eat me!” You wail, thumping your tiny fists against his servos like you think you can fend him off from… eating you? Well, that explains a lot of the panicked run straight into a wall. But where had you gotten the ideal that Cybertronians eat humans from? Growling under his breath, he tightens his grip as you try to squirm right out of his hand, completely oblivious to the possible fall. Fragging Whirl.
Previous
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi!! I just spent the last hour scrolling through your page and I adore everything you have to say about tim and lucy…
So I was curious (because I’m a month into the fandom and I don’t really know anyone yet) what your thoughts, predictions, expectations for season 7 would be?
Sorry if you’ve posted something similar before, please point me in the right direction if you have :)
- Loren
Hi! @moderatelydelusional Nice to meet you, Loren. Thank you for the lovely ask :) Making me all red with your nice comment. So glad you liked everything I've had to say about our lovely ship. Appreciate it so much. Before I answer I want to say welcome to the fandom! We are glad to have you here. 😊 There are so many good blogs on tumblr for them. Glad you chose me as one of them. I am honored. ❤️ I haven't really tackled s7 at all so this is a good ask. Excited to answer it. I'm a detailed woman. So imma break your question down into sections if that's alright. I legit don't know how to be brief about this show or them haha Also will do it with gifs cause that's my thing. Here is my detailed answer below. Hope you enjoy it.
Thoughts on S7- Well we've had ZERO and I mean ZERO spoilers or indicators about this upcoming season. Which I do love them keeping it close to the vest. Honestly I do. Just means they have something incredibly good lined up. They just want to make sure we are surprised. Can't fault them for that. But I'm dying for anything. The end of s6 left us wanting so much more with the scene above. We are all chomping at the bit for any content. I know Eric had a interview couple weeks back about s7. From what little he was able to divulge I am EXCITED.
Here is the link to it. Talks about Tim needing to EARN Lucy back in more ways than one. How she is the love of his life. (Tell us something we don't know haha) But I love Eric referring to her to as such. The personal development for Tim to come as well. Like I said they haven't given us much of anything yet. It's hard to have thoughts when we don't have much to go on. But it seems like it'll be well rounded season. It's always been a character driven show so I think it'll be more than just our ship. Which is fine with me. It is an ensemble cast after all.
I fell in love with this show as a whole when it first launched back in 2018. Give me more Tim/Angela, Lucy/Nyla and Wopez. I'll take all of that. I have been all in from the Pilot. I remember watching it on my lunch break on my phone when it first premiered. I was hooked. When we finally get a promo and a friggin premiere date I can probably be more in depth with my answer. Since we don't have a lot to go on it's hard to have in depth thoughts ha But from what little they've let out I'm quite excited for the journey we're going to embark on. We just need a start date for said journey. All we know is Jan but I need a hard date LOL
Expectations For S7. -I expect Chenford to get back to the softness above. It won't be easy but I expect we are headed back there. I think it's gonna be quite the journey to get us there. Both Tim and Lucy are going to need to grow before we do. They both still have shit to work out. Lucy with her career path and the rough time she had last year. It wasn't just Tim that crushed her. I mean it was a huge headliner but wasn't the ONLY one. Our girl has some communication problems and is like her soulmate in how she handles emotional distress. Expect that to be addressed on some level.
Tim obviously has a lot to make up for and he knows it. That is the first step. I expect we see Tim working constantly to improve himself as a person. To be worthy of Lucy again. He's not going to half ass his healing. He is going to be very Tim in how he goes after it. This is going to bleed into every part of his life. I expect to see that all over his character development in s7.
I also anticipate that we'll see an even stronger and more refined version of Chenford in Season 7, with their characters continuing to grow and evolve. Strong separately and even more so together. I cannot wait for the slow burn of their reconciliation. Going to make all the hurt worth it. It'll be Chenford 2.0 and we are all going to be grateful for that. While losing our minds together it's happening. I would rather have our ship and characters be real and develop. Better that than to be puddle deep like John/Bailey. I'll take the pain of growth over the stagnation of boredom. i.e. Bailian.
Predictions-Obviously I want to predict something like above. Them starting over. Kisses, hugs, and if we're lucky enough to get a repeat of 5x12 on screen. That one I'm straight just trying to manifest lol Possibly Celina catching them or almost doing so when they get back together at her place. These are more hopeful than actual predictions lmao But I mainly predict a deeper intimacy between them when they do reconcile. Stronger communication. It'll be beautiful. I also think we're about to see a side of Tim Bradford we haven't seen before. As we know Lucy brings out the best in this man. The absolute best. We're going to see that on full display.
I think he will continue therapy. I also think we’re going to see a very determined Tim driven in his quest to make amends to Lucy. Which will bring out that new side we haven't seen. It's one of the facets of s7 that has me most excited. And not just for the Chenford portion. (Which does make me giddy to no end) But for him as well. You follow me long enough you'll know I love Tim development. So this excites me so very much.
We watched Tim take strides in his mental health walk and as a person in s6 after 6x07. I expect we're going to see the fruit of that not just in his amends to Lucy. But professionally as well. Tim took quite the fall professionally after being bounced out of Metro. He has fences to mend to Grey, Lt. Pine, and those around him as well in patrol. I see him making those strides and then some.
I predict Lucy is going to finally going to get grounded professionally and personally. (She does have a new roommate. I can see development here too) Lucy got very lost in s6. I think s7 she will be righting her ship. Finding her purpose. My guess was T.O. for her with her dipping her toe with Celina in 6x08. She's so empathetic and willing to slow down and teach. I think that could be a good path for her. Whatever her trajectory is I think it's going to be be worked out in s7 for our girl. It's time for her to get some damn wins. I hope that answers your ask LOL Or maybe was too much? HA Either way I can't wait for s7. I need a promo and a premiere date. Seriously ABC, you're killing us.
#chenford#the rookie#s7#asked and answered#moderatelydelusional#tim x lucy#otp: doing my job#otp: unless it is#the rookie s7#tim bradford#lucy chen#tim bradford x lucy chen
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I am a warrior, but maybe this is not my fight."
[WWDITS S6EP5 SPOILERS!!!]
Just finished episode 5, and you can bet your ass I have some shit to say. As it is something I've already discussed and like analyzing, I'll go on about the Nandermo situation for now, but I'd like to talk about other topics too, maybe in another post.
This episode was a rollercoaster, and I think all my worries are now at peace (at least the one regarding Nandor's growth). I imagined that Nandor was just about to throw another ginormous tantrum about the stupidest of the things, but I was positively surprised when I saw his attitude towards the situation: he honestly had valid reasons to be angry, reasons I didn't even think about at first, but they came to me as a slap in the face as Nandor spoke, as I can imagine they did to Guillermo. Obviously, the solution wasn't war, but I can see why he would react like this. He was a warrior, after all.
"You live a thousand years, and you think you know what betrail is, what horror is, but then, in a single instant, you find out you haven't the slightest idea of what men is truly capable of."
This is what he says. And although it seems so extravagant and exaggerated, his pain is real. He was so sure about Guillermo's loyalty, not because he expected it as a Master, but as a friend, as a companion, given that he has always been loyal to him: "I may have done a lot of things, Guillermo, but I never got rid of you". He's right when he says so, and honestly I, as probably Guillermo, never really realized how much has probably costed Nandor to protect Guillermo from the vampire world, how much he risked to keep him safe. He really has done a lot for him, and he also finally addresses his mistakes.
Nandor felt betrayed and this time I can do nothing but agree with him. Guillermo tries to justify it all saying that it's the "human world way", but Nandor was human too, and the type of loyalty he shared with his comrades he expected from Guillermo: this makes me understand how he really perceives him in his life. He feels bonded to him, and reserved fidelity to him; not always respect or recognition, but fidelity yes.
Still, I agree with Guillermo about some points. At first he sees the whole thing as another big absurdity came out from Nandor's neediness and I can't blame him for having been prejudiced (i was myself), but then he understands how hurt Nandor felt.
Although, as he said in the previous episode, maybe this thing between the two of them isn't meant to be: he now has a new purpose, and he invites Nandor to start healing and find a new one too.
"I am a warrior, but maybe this is not my fight" it's with this statement that Nandor finally aknowledges that he needs to let it go too. The relationship between them started with all the worst moves, and it can't go any further without continuing to inflict wounds to both of them.
When Nandor tells Guillermo to go away using Alexa, these lyrics are used: "get out, right now, it's the end of you and me", and I'm starting to think it could really be like it says. Maybe Nandermo will never happen, and maybe it's for the best. Still I keep my hope close, and I wish that all of this was just a big demolition to build a new foundation for a stronger and healthier relationship, but I won't bet too much on it.
This episode was a huge statement fr. I feel like I've left out so many details, but I guess if something comes up to my mind, I'll just post about it later. Also, I wrote all of this as fast as I could, so please forgive me if you've encountered some errors.
"When one is burned, one feels most at home among the ashes" said Nandor, and I think I'll do the same and go cry about this while re-watching the whole series 😔.
#help?#wwdits#wwdits 6#what we do in the shadows#what we do in the shadows season 6#episode 5 spoilers#nandor x guillermo#nandermo#nandor the relentless#guillermo de la cruz#vampires#yapping
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking a lot lately about how Mizuki is kinda too perfect as a trans character. Their family is accepting and they can pass effortlessly. The only issue they have is really the only one that could be left after that point: society's view of trans people.
But while this is great and I really appreciate how Mizuki is written, handled, whatever, it just makes everything about being a regular transfem hurt even more...
I've been working on a 4 hour video essay about Mizuki for almost a month now and every time I replay parts of the story involving Mizuki's sister Yuuki, I just can't help but begin to break down. The way she has never left Mizuki alone when they were vulnerable, the way she's supported Mizuki with everything she possibly could. Her words, her gifts, her clear love for Mizuki is something I wish I ever had. I've always been alone I feel like. I never had anyone who I was able to comfortably share my femininity with. Even now, I feel like that same femininity isn't something I can share with most trans women I meet.
When I see the things Yuuki says to Mizuki, it's just too much. It's this amazing warmth that I never had and I wonder if I will ever get to have. Even outside the story... I just read an alternate timeline fic where Ena's the one who gets Mizuki out of the closet and not Yuuki. Even that like, it really hurts you know?
Beyond Yuuki, the way that Mizuki presumably doesn't have to put effort into passing is difficult as well. Truly their only obstacle is finding acceptance. And well, for them, there is still the existential obstacle of being trans - being born in the wrong body - but it doesn't stop them from presenting comfortably in a way that they're happy with. Meanwhile, I feel like most trans women don't get to pass. I think I've only known one trans woman who passes.
So now there is not only acceptance (which is more complex and difficult if you don't pass), but also this whole aspect of maintaining constant courage against the negativity of society, which is a tremendously heavy thing. And sure, Mizuki deals with this too, but in a different way. The door for them to blend into society is open, but for those who don't pass, the door might be so hard to find that it might as well not be there.
When I compare myself to Mizuki, I just feel... inadequate. I never meant to do it intentionally but the moment it happened it sent me into a spiral.
"I'll never have what they have."
And I know they're a fictional character and are probably an unattainable standard but idk it just, it's hard not to compare myself? Maybe I'm just stupid.
They're just too perfect, despite how "rough" their story is. I think it's really their downfall in terms of becoming the best possible representation and I mean, I was never expecting that from them. It's just an issue with their character I think, though one that couldn't really be avoided with how the writers wanted to execute their character.
Idk, I love Mizuki but sometimes it hurts when I think about them.
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
I would like to ask which of the Alien stage characters would be their favorite type of Goth Girl and how they interact with the goth girl reader..
LUKA, MIZI, SUA & TILL WITH A GOTH!FEM READER
Contains: Luka, Mizi, Sua, Till (separately) / Goth reader / Fem pronouns for reader / Headcanons + some writing / Kisses / Lipstick kisses / Fluff
Luka
Well, it wasn't something that he himself would try, but he wouldn't tell you to not dress like that.
Pretty much the opposite of what he looks like!
Still, you caught his attention. He hadn't seen anyone else dress the way you do, and do makeup the way you did.
So he just watches intently as you do your own makeup.
"That type of music is the most important part... I see."
He likes it when you tell him about the history of the Goth subculture. It actually intrigues him.
Luka just watched the way your hands moved as you finished applying some of the eyeshadow to do your own makeup. He was observing many things, actually; mostly the way you brushed the makeup onto your eyes and the way your hands moved when you did it.
He had done makeup before, but it didn't turn out as well as when you did it. Perhaps you could teach him some other time — just in a way that fits his appearance more.
Luka carefully approached you and seemed to be scanning every part of you. From your hair to your clothes, he just looked at you, thinking of ways he could compliment you in some way.
Before he could open his mouth to say something, you planted a kiss on his lips, which left a stain on his lips. His eyes widened slightly; what a rare sight.
"What... was that for?" He questioned you.
You just smiled at him. You were so gorgeous, so beautiful both with and without makeup. "I'm not done yet, I think I put too much lipstick on. Perhaps I should..."
Mwah.
His face seemed to warm up slightly as you kissed the corner of his lips, but at the same time, both of you knew that this was just the start.
Mizi
"Haaaah...? That's so cool!"
That was pretty much her reaction the first time she saw you using your signature makeup and clothes.
She was beyond amazed — you looked so completely and utterly adorable!
"Mizi — hey!" You protested as she gently pinched your cheek. She was quick to plant a kiss on it, too. But you couldn't blame her! You simply looked so adorable that she just had to.
She positioned her hands so she could be pinching both of your cheeks. She smiled happily at you, and then laughed to herself.
"You're so adorable! How come I've never seen you like this before?" She leaned in closer to you. You weren't sure to show this side to anyone else because you knew people were judgemental. Still, you knew you could show this side of yourself to Mizi.
"You... you don't have to kiss—" You were immediately cut off as Mizi placed her lips against yours. She had stained a bit of your lipstick on her own lips, but she didn't care.
"You have more outfits like this, right? I wanna see all of them!" She laughed softly to herself.
Well, if Mizi wanted to see them... who were you to deny her?
Till
Well, he was used to seeing people with alternative styles, so he wasn't shocked or anything of the sort.
He thought it was cool, actually!
Didn't know if he would try it himself, though.
He couldn't pull it off as amazingly as you.
"Woah. You're really good at that makeup thing."
Talking about things that involved makeup wasn't exactly Till's forte...
He could barely do anything on himself, as when he tried to even apply eyeliner on sometimes, he'd just mess it up, and it would end up looking oddly.
So, obviously, he admired you and your skills. That was a given as he had no skills when it came to that area.
"That's kinda cool," His words seemed pretty genuine. "I like your clothes. They're nice." He admitted. He knew that if he said too much, you'd probably end up teasing him, so he preferred to keep things to himself.
You smiled at him. "Is that all you're going to say?" Your words were filled with a playful tone.
His face seemed to warm up, and a soft shade of pink covered his face. "No! I mean — you look very pretty, very gorgeous or whatever. I don't really care..." He managed to stutter out.
Ah, it was going to be a long day for him. You'd probably tease him for the rest of the day of what he had just said.
... But at least, he'd be teased by a gorgeous girl.
Sua
She had tried makeup on herself before, but the way you did it was much more neatly done than the way she did it on herself.
Much like Till, she admires you.
"... That's pretty nice, you're pretty too."
Perhaps you two could practice makeup on each other.
You were getting dressed as Sua suggested you lay down so she could do your makeup. She had read a few articles about how to do it, so she probably could do it.
She showed you a set of pictures, then asked which one you liked most. You chose one of them, and then she sat down on your lap as she was careful to apply the makeup onto your skin.
After a few minutes, she was done. You looked at yourself in the mirror — she had done an amazing job! It was her first time, too. She just smiled proudly at herself as you looked at yourself in the mirror.
"Pretty cute, isn't it? But you're beautiful always." She said, softly wrapping her arms around you as you continued to look at yourself. She planted a soft kiss on your shoulder and then she whispered.
"You'll always be beautiful in my eyes."
#alien stage x reader#alnst#alnst x reader#luka x reader#fluff#alnst sua#alien stage sua#alien stage#alien stage sua x reader#alnst sua x reader#mizi x reader#sua x reader#mizi alnst#mizi alnst x reader#till alnst x reader#till x reader
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
let's talk about mouthwashing!
spoilers for the game. duh.
trigger warning for abuse, SA, death.
i feel like we all know how complex the story telling for the game is yet theres still people that don't seem to get it entirely. i decided to ramble about that. im sure others have done it before me but let me ramble about my hyperfixation god damn it.
this is the first out of 3 posts so strap in. the 3rd one is a LONG one. second post | third post
before i start a few disclaimers: i am rather new to mouthwashing so i do not know EVERYTHING. im just talking about my own interpretation, if there's any missing details pls inform me!
Anya is a shy and timid character!
this of course is not true but i've noticed a few people that still cling onto this interpretation of her. even though its not a vocal group that has this idea, i'd like to talk more about this.
Jimmy is an unreliable narrator, we were given that knowledge with a scene where we see multiple working cryo pods post-crash, despite us knowing there is only one functioning cryo pod.
so of course, knowing that information, most people would start to realise everything we went through as Jimmy post-crash, it was all biased, we were in the eyes of an abuser, and we trusted the words he used to describe Anya as part of her character. that's also part of the horror for this game in my opinion. the horror that i agreed the views of an abuser horrifies me.
"He - It just hurts him so much. I can't stand the noise."
"...You did make it through nursing school, right?"
"Pony Express sure does know how to cut corners, if nothing else."
-
"I was hoping you could help me with Captain-"
"Curly."
"Right, sorry ...w-with Curly's medication?"
"People have to be worth their titles."
"Don't you think, nurse Anya?"
"...Y-yeah. Forget I asked."
these two different conversations happened in the same scene at the start of the game. after going through the game we can see now how Jimmy talks to Anya is downright insulting. maybe some people have picked up on it during their first playthrough that the way he talks to her is not normal, but we didn't think much of it. but now, now things are different.
"Anya never got into medical school because she's... well, let's be real."
"And how many employment years Swansea got left in him?"
"Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered. So there's that at least."
"But you."
"Headed for bigger and better, right?"
this string of dialogue came 6 days before the crash, when everyone is gathered for Curly's surprise party and Curly decided to drop the news that Pony Express is letting them all go. (this dialogue will be brought up again for something else.)
he was almost insulting everyone sitting at the table, yet in this string of dialogue, he completely disregards Anya. summing his point about her as "well, let's be real.". it shows how much he views her, which was practically nothing. but first-time playing, you didn't think much of it. because he also insulted everyone else.
to summarise this whole thing, Anya as a character is not shy or timid, it is simply how Jimmy views her. but even so, we probably will never know how Anya is truly like. because even when she mentions this won't be her worst moment, she is only remembered as a poor crew member that god abused and assaulted by another member, which is, her worst moment alive.
#man i took awhile to write this.#one out of 3 posts hahahahaha#this game has consumed me a bit ever since i found out about it#its great everyone should get into it trust#mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#text post#aadenrambles#mouthwashing spoilers
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Something I've realized is there's no instant game over condition. No event that instantly means hopelessness.
Humans are like cockroaches. One is easily squashed, but as a group of many we are extremely hard to wipe out. Rebuilding is in our nature. It's in our DNA. Many of you are likely surrounded by buildings built after the devastation of WWII.
I'm not sure anything could certainly kill all 8 billion of us and destroy any hope for the future.
Full-blown nuclear war? People have bunkers, basements, mines and sewers to hide in, and those who live in the countryside would be largely safe from the blasts. Radiation would cause ecological problems and health issues, yes, but Chernobyl showed us that life finds a way. It's a thriving nature preserve now. It's literally a haven for endangered species. The radiation will eventually decay, and we will rebuild.
Climate change? Sure, things might come to suck ass for a while, but we won't go extinct. There will be SOME food, SOME water, SOME fish and SOME plants and animals. Even if worst comes to worst and cities are submerged, droughts sweep the globe and extreme weather becomes the norm, we will not go extinct, the earth will adapt, as will we, and we will rebuild.
Asteroid? Countries the world over are constantly scanning the cosmos for them, the greatest mathematicians alive calculating their paths. We'd likely know decades in advance if a dino killer was on its way (and btw, some dinos survived and evolved into birds. They're still among us). Nuts to Don't Look Up, no jingoistic nation would be content to have themselves erased, and pass up a glorious opportunity to flex their military technology. It's why we went to the moon.
Look, things suck, and things are likely to continue to suck for years. We all know this. But time is a double-edged sword; just as no empire lasts forever, neither does any bad time. THINGS WILL IMPROVE EVENTUALLY IF WE HOLD OUT AND KEEP STRIVING FOR A BETTER FUTURE. Shit will go down, we will survive, and we'll build a better world, which will eventually face new crises.
The black plague passed. Both world wars passed. The cold war passed. The crusades passed. The Great Depression passed. 2020 passed.
Rome rose and fell, as did Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, Assyria and the Aztec Empire, most of them falling bloodily, and yet people still live on the lands they once occupied.
England, the tyrannical, genocidal empire, decayed until it was just a tiny, cash-poor island with very little real power, and it's once mighty, feared monarchy has almost withered into nothing.
Look, what I'm trying to say is that you won't just instantly die. It doesn't work like that. You will almost certainly survive, as will the vast majority of us.
The Boomer politicians and oligarchs will die out eventually, probably within the next 20-30 years. Millenials, then Gen Z will one day be the oldest generation standing, and I doubt they'll be content to leave things the way they'll have been left. Eventually, I imagine, we'll do away entirely with these silly generation politics, as those of different age brackets will no longer exist in different realities. Time consumes all. Every evil person dies one day. Every institution crumbles. Every empire falls.
THINGS HAVE ONLY BEEN THIS BAD FOR, WHAT, A DECADE OR SO? NOT EVEN. THESE BAD TIMES ARE TEMPORARY. WE WILL ENDURE THEM, COME OUT THE OTHER SIDE, AND REBUILD. I HAVE UNWAVERING FAITH IN THIS.
HUMAN BEINGS ENDURE. WE ADAPT. WE FIND A WAY. WE FIND SOMETHING TO EAT, SOMETHING TO DRINK, SOMEWHERE TO LIVE, AND FORM COMMUNITIES, FAMILIES AND CULTURES FROM NOTHING.
IT'S WHAT WE ARE. IT'S WHO WE ARE. THE ULTIMATE PREDATOR, AND THE KINDEST STEWARD. THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME. THE RISING APE. THE LIGHT IN THE DARK. THE MASTERS OF FIRE. THE TAMERS OF LIGHTNING. THE INVENTORS OF STORIES, OF SCIENCE, OF GODS.
WE ARE LITERALLY DESIGNED TO PURSUE OTHER CREATURES UNTIL THEY COLLAPSE AND DIE, BECAUSE WE ARE JUST THAT ENDURING. WE MINMAXXED INTO ENDURING.
BETTER TIMES WILL COME. HOPE WILL NEVER DIE. YOU ARE A HUMAN. WE ARE ALL HUMANS. AN ELECTION IS NOTHING IN THE FACE OF THAT.
I’m not about to get political on my silly snake account but everyone’s stressing over Election Day tonight so I’d like to say something.
It’s gonna be okay.
I promise! We’ve made it through a global pandemic. We’ve made it through having a variety of senile men run the country. Several social media platforms like tumblr have survived supposedly site-ending events, like the TikTok “ban” bill and Elon buying twitter. The economy is going to shit, everything’s falling apart, but we are still here. We’ve survived, we’ve moved on. We still find value and joy in life even so.
We. Will. Make. It. Through.
We’ll have each other. We’ll have our art and our fandoms and our friends and all the shenanigans that make us forget about global warming and its associated.
No matter who wins, it will be okay.
I promise.
Hope you feel a little better after that. Love yall, try not to worry too much. <3
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think that the reason why I love Zelda's character so much is, while I do like the other female characters, they just seem so much more flat and stagnant in comparison. Zelda feels more like an actual person to me. Her character isn't entirely just "scientist" or "princess" or "in love with Link", unlike the others, she actually has things outside of that. She has more than one character trait. She develops.
Zelda didn't even like Link at the very start (for reasons that are very relatable and make her feel more human and flawed) or want to be a princess (at least not in the way others wanted her to be). She went through a period of depression, she has anxieties, she can be assertive, strong-willed, she gets frustrated, she doesn't just have one interest, but several. Massive nerd (and continues being a nerd off-screen with Mineru in the past). Founded a research team. She loves frogs and is the likely cause behind Hateno becoming overrun with them. She founded a school and teaches children, she tries to help people whenever and wherever she can, she tries new things (like painting), she is a selfless leader who is willing to make heavy personal sacrifices for her people, she actually has an arc and grows as a person over time, overcoming her insecurities. She plans ahead, and she can think on her feet. The great sky island was her idea. I know that she's now able to cook at least one normal meal without involving frogs and monster parts. She loves fruitcake and the Silent Princess flower. She went from being bad with horses to catching one on her own. Age of Calamity shows her leading troops, shows that she actually does have some form of archery knowledge (if albeit divine), and that she would make much better use of the master cycle if given the chance. She saves and protects Link even when she has lost herself. She is (according to a dev interview) trying to figure out what future she wants for herself, who she wants to become, what her place in the world is.
And, when it does come to her love for Link, it isn't some shallow infatuation based purely on him being attractive, but because they have an actual connection, a past together. She learned who the real Link was, he opened up to her alone about his deepest insecurities, and her affection towards him grew from that connection. Zelda loves the real Link. She knows Link better than anyone else, and she trusts him implicitly. It isn't the shallow celebrity crush the npcs have.
#totk spoilers#princess zelda#zelda#totk zelda#botw zelda#zelink#totk#loz#tloz#and i've probably still left something out#she is great#oh! and she loves dogs
359 notes
·
View notes
Photo
................ he
#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he#cats#EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he#I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video#s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted#for now though yeah.. just cats#The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a#sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist#who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb#and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left#undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth#So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects#so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on#this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on#them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain#organizes tasks sometimes lol#***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word#it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee#Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing#Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!
587 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#can't even begin to tell you how much I've wanted to kill myself today#sorry i should probably tw that or something but. look I'm..... im out of it i can't even think of a metaphor#'I'm close to the last bits of me that exist' except ive long ago past that point#there's nothing left. im in the void. frankly death would be a mercy i do not believe myself worthy of#this place is a mess. I've dropped every ball i had in the air and i can see the concrete base of the ones falling#aimed straight at my face ready to pulverize me to dust.#.....I'm still going i guess. but what for#i managed to ask for help. i started bawling the instant someone replied and i haven't stopped feeling guilty since.#husk doesn't even begin to describe how empty i am#...........pretend i said something poignant to end this one off#...don't worry i won't kill myself and etc its. it's fine. I'm just gonna keep suffering like always#eventually something will kill me. i hope.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've finally finished my first boss for my demon hunting game Judgement Nights! A guard dog for a much stronger demon, Grub keeps their secret safe and hidden from all mortal or demonic eyes
#I hope the notes help to understand what I was trying to go for hehe#Judgement Nights as a system hasn't really been tested by players yet. Just me.#I haven't played enough ttrpgs to know if something like this has been done before or not but something like it probably does lmao#think original fallouts if all of your allies shared one turn instead of being sorted into a turn order. If it was all just your guy's turn#And you had to balance using your AP wisely because whatevers left over you can use to counter the opponents turn!!#I hope that makes some sense I've been writing for a minute now and am kinda tired I'll probably go more in depth in another post#this post was supposed to be abt Grub but now its abt the combat as a whole woopsie :3#Grub needs just a bit more polish but I'm really happy I've gotten this far. Used to kinda be a far out idea but now that a Demons characte#sheet is right in front of me it feels almost surreal#First time designing a Tabletop game from the ground up and not basing it off an existing ip/ converting a video game into a tabletop#(even though its still very video game inspired taking a good bit from Devil May Cry)#indie ttrpg#Judgement Nights#ttrpg
4 notes
·
View notes