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#and i've been eating the same thing for lunch every single day for the past three months because it was just easier
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guys in very very big news, after finishing my dissertation i suddenly have energy and motivation and passion for my hobbies again???? like. almost overnight???? mental
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arxxq · 2 years
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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷"Please don't starve yourself..."
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╰┈➤ ❝ [What would the blue lock boys do if they found out their s/o hasn't eaten?] ❞
Part 1?
Credits to my for you page for this idea
Fem reader? Characters might be ooc I'm sorry
·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳Warnings: Mentioned of insecurities(mostly about your weight). Characters are aged up 18+ but no nsfw
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Looking at the mirror you realized that maybe your friends were right. You looked at your reflection feeling ashamed with how much weight you have gained. So without further hesitation you decided to take in the advice of what your friends had told you to do which was to "eat less" or "don't eat" . You grabbed an oversized hoodie from your closet just to cover up your body so that maybe that'll make you feel better at least.
Seishiro Nagi your lazy but loving boyfriend notice something was not right with you. He didn't want to pry but it did concern him to why were you wearing an oversized sweater when the room was burning hot or why did you skip both breakfast and lunch today. He was starting to get worried. He asked Reo if he could tell him to why you're acting like this but Reo himself didn't know why. It was now 8.00pm and It was almost time for dinner and yet there was only one dish with food on the kitchen counter. He was planning to ask after eating dinner with you but it seems like he can't.
"Dove..are you okay?" He asked. You looked at him confused. "I'm fine sei, why are you asking?" That was an obvious lie but you were hoping he's buying it. He stared at you with worry all over his face. "You haven't eaten since this morning...can you please tell me why?" You frozed and that enough made Nagi worry even more.
"Of somethings wrong you know you can tell me right?" You sigh knowing you won't be able to hide about it from him anymore. "I-its just that...my friends lately told me I've gained so much weight so I thought that maybe if I just don't eat maybe I'll lose weight.." with your words, Nagi frowned.
"but dove... starving yourself isn't the solution to that," he stated. "I know but...I just didn't know what to do..I feel so ashamed looking at my reflection and I thought maybe not eating would've help"
Nagi took your both of your hands and interwined his fingers with yours to reasure you. "Well you shouldn't feel that way because to me, you're beautiful just the way you are both by size and heart. Now let's get you something to eat shall we?" You looked at him and smiled. "Sometimes I wonder how I managed to pull a loving boy like you,"
"Well I think I should've asked myself the same thing for you.."
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"you should really try to look at yourself in the mirror"
"what did I tell you about overeating ?"
"maybe if you didn't eat at all you would've look like your sisters,"
Those were the words of your mother when you came to visit her the other day. You bit your lip thinking maybe she was right, you didn't want to think she was right but every single second, her words would always appear in your mind like a loop. Looking down at yourself..maybe your mother was right. Sighing you decided to take her advice.
A few days had past, your boyfriend Itoshi Rin saw the change in your behavior these couple of days. He was confused. He took note on how you have been skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner, how you have been wearing clothes that would cover up your entire body. What weirds him the most is that you have been refusing to eat whenever he buys food for you. He was worried but he didn't want to tell you that.
So one day when he came back from practice, he noticed that the house was a little quieter and darker than usual. Usually you would be out in the living room watching something while waiting for him to come home. He looked towards your shared bedroom. The door was opened but the lights were closed.
Rin entered the room and switch on the lights. When the lights were switch on, he could see the blanket was covering your entire body but what hurts him the most was that he heard sobs. He went towards the bed attempting to pull away the blanket covering your torso.
You flinched and turned around to be met by none other than Rin. Knowing Rin, he isn't really good with words so instead of asking what's bothering you, he decided to embrace you waiting for you to tell him what was wrong. "Care to explain what's wrong?" You looked at him and exhaled a breathe. "It's just that.. recently my mom told me I've been overeating and she told me I should just stop eating and that'll help..." Rin frowned. He knew you didn't have a great relationship with your mother.
Rin kissed your forehead and proceed to say, "whatever your mom told you..please don't listen to her. Don't let her words discourage you. Just know that she's wrong because to me your perfect just the way you are...so know let's get you something to eat, you shouldn't have starved yourself."
So for the entire night, Rin made a promise to himself to always remind you that you are perfect just the way you are...
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I think I went a little overboard on Rin. I also didn't double check this cause I'm tired and it's literally 3am. I'm sleep deprived 😭
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stacywaters · 9 months
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Seeds of Hope (JHOPE) CH5 - Your Numbers
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(Stacy POV) Dinner was awkward, to say the least. My moms seated me next to Hoseok at the small table. Every now and then when one of us would reach for something, our arms would brush against each other. Leading to my mom and eomma giggling at us.
They asked him questions, mostly about where he's from and why he started dancing. I wasn't listening to most of it. I was distracted with fretting about my midterm tomorrow.
Eventually we finished dinner, and as the final plates are picked up, I lead him to the door.
"I hope you do well on your test tomorrow!" He leans against the doorframe, "It was fun tonight; having other people to talk to and eat with. Felt kinda like home"
I smile, "Yeah. Thank you for helping me with my dancing, by the way! I never would've been able to do this without you. You're a life saver"
"Maybe next ti-" He's interrupted by my Eomma, yelling to us from the kitchen.
"You should get his phone number, Stacy! In case you need help again"
I start to blush, hiding my face in my hands.
He laughs, "here. Give me your hand"
I pull my shaky hands away from my face. Immediately they're engulfed by his warm hands, gently writing out his phone number on my palm.
"Call me if you need help again. Or if you just wanna chat" He pulls his hands away. Without another word, he is gone. Back to his apartment.
In reality, he's only next door. The thumping of my heart pulls me towards him, but my brain forces me back a million miles away.
"He was cute, Stacy. Do you know if he's single?"
"Eomma!" I shout, "Stop being so blunt with everything! Gosh, this is so embarrassing.."
Things were going well. I finished my midterm for dance and surprisingly got an 87%. I began talking to others in my dance class. I made friends with two of them, Taehyung and Jimin, who apparently were in the same group as Hoseok.
They told me funny memories about the band and I told them about America. We got along really nicely. It was pleasant to have someone to sit with at lunch.
It had been around a week since I'd spoken to him. Getting home, my mind wandered back to our conversations. Eyes lingering a little too long on Hoseok's door, I miss the part where it opens.
"Oh, hey Stacy" He greets.
I don't miss the sorrowful glint in his eyes. He seems sad, or nervous, or maybe just tired. I pretend to not see it, "I got an 87% on my dance test a few days back! My teacher even complimented me, saying I did well. Thank you again for helping me!"
For the first time, I see him smile.
"That's great! I knew you'd do well. I know you don't love dancing, but you do have good rhythm"
"Thank you, but really it's all thanks to you" I said.
"Um, so I asked some of my friends in my group and they are actually in one of your classes! Do you know Jimin and Taehyung?" He asks.
"Yeah! We're good friends now, surprisingly" I laugh.
"Oh" He responded, "That's great."
Again I see that darker look in his eyes. I finally remember.
"I'm sorry I didn't text you, Hoseok" I mumble.
"Hm? Oh.... It's fine. I didn't notice"
He didn't notice? I fumble with the keys on my lanyard. He is pretty friendly, he most likely has a ton of friends. He probably isn't waiting on my calls. Still, he seems unwell. I try one last time:
"I did save it on my phone though! I just forgot to actually send the text." I fake a laugh, "You're always welcome to dinner, though. My moms definitely love you."
I continued, "I know, I know it sucks to be alone all the time. This is actually the first time in a while that I've had friends"
He glances up, dark eyes meeting mine. For a second, it feels like we've known each other for years and this is just a moment like any other. It feels like for the first time, I see a layer of him past the happy smile. I see him.
"Yeah, sorry..." He brings his hand to rest on the back of his neck, "I just, it's hard living on my own all the time. I kinda feel like I don't know anyone. Like maybe.... No one really knows me"
"That makes two of us" I said.
"Really?"
"It's not like I had many friends back home, and moving to South Korea?" I snicker, "Sure, I know some Korean, but I haven't made any friends at that school. Everyone there is so.. So artsy and cool and I just-, I'm just kinda basic I guess"
"You aren't basic" He smiled. I smiled back.
"Let's be each other's friends?" He suggested.
"Only if you'll have dinner with us tonight"
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pocket-lilies · 3 years
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You Get Injured!
Okie so I've been wanting to do something like this for a while but I just never got around to it! So, why not do it with Haikyuu? It's kinda long o: don't mind me - Pocket
Warnings: Includes injuries, some are worse than others, Kuroo's part has an injury that's just... unlikely. Just Let me have it. Injuries are as follows: Broken leg (Bokuto), broken arm (Kuroo), car accident (Kenma), head injury (Ushijima), and falling down stairs (Goshiki).
Includes: Kotaro Bokuto, Tetsuro Kuroo, Kenma Kozume, Wakatoshi Ushijima, and Tsutomu Goshiki!
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→Kotaro Bokuto:
You and your friends were on a little picnic outside on campus. You were waiting for Bokuto’s practice to be over and your friends had shown up. They had food, they invited you to eat, you get it. While you guys were just hanging out, one of your friends wanted to climb a tree. You were all having fun and you and your friend Yana climbed the same branch. Unbeknownst to you, the branch wasn’t that strong. It snapped and you both fell. Your screams echoed in the park around you. Yana broke her wrist while you broke your leg. You were both immediately rushed to the hospital.
Bokuto was just having fun at practice when one of your friends came running in. She almost got in trouble as she barreled straight for the guy. “(Y/N)! I-IT’S (Y/N)!” The panic on her face, the tears in her eyes, the way the words poured out of her mouth all terrified him. He immediately abandoned practice and let your friend drive him to the hospital.
Once he was able to see you, he was SO WORRIED. He was angry too! Why did you try something so stupid?! Being dumb was his thing, not yours! He was really sad though because when he first saw you, he may or may not have cried. He genuinely thought you were gonna die before the doctor explained you only broke your leg.
Bokuto became your personal nurse! He was there every single day after practice (as long as they kept you in the hospital). Afterward, he walked you to every class, brought you lunch, made sure he had painkillers for you, anything and everything he could do to help. He did get in trouble for not attending practice properly, but his team had mercy on him.
Bokuto is just a worry wart! He makes sure to warn you about climbing trees and if you INSIST he will follow underneath you just in case you do happen to fall again. But every now and then when you two walk past the place where the injury occurred… he just glares at the poor tree. You can say he just has an odd dislike for all trees. Even though... it wasn't exactly the tree's fault you and Yana fell.
→Tetsuro Kuroo:
You were a volleyball player as well at the college! That’s how you and Tetsuro had met. Both of you often had a habit of watching each other practice and whatnot. You two would even practice with each other. Today was no different, except you had a small practice game with another school. This school had a terrifying player named Titania, a girl from another country. She was known to have the scariest, most powerful serves. Both you and Tetsuro had, of course, heard of her, but neither of you expected her to be THAT strong! She had served as the ball came your way, you barely had time to react so the ball didn’t hit your arms properly. It hit the side of your left arm, right at the elbow. The ball bounced off with so much speed and all that could be heard in the gym was your blood-curdling scream and a sickening crunch. Tetsuro was the first off of the bleachers, running to you at the speed of light. Your teammates immediately surrounded you and tried asking if you were ok.
Panic. Full-fledged PANIC. One of your teammates immediately called for an ambulance, Titania ran to you with tears in her eyes repeatedly apologizing. Tetsuro wasn’t sure what was happening, he was kind of out of it. He tried to hush you and keep you from moving your arm too much while you waited for help. He wiped any tears that fell and held you close to his chest.
He paced back and forth outside of the hospital room. Your teammates were there and Titania wanted to be there, but couldn’t. Once he was allowed to see you, he was the first into the room. Your teammates wished you the best recovery and passed on Titania’s message before leaving you and Tetsuro alone. He kept asking if you were ok and if it hurt too much. Of course, it hurt, but you kept saying you were fine.
Like Bokuto, he’s your personal nurse! Since you can’t use one arm, he’s constantly around to help. He carries your things, will feed you if necessary, if you’re a lefty, he’ll take notes for you in class, etc. He’ll get you anything you need (if he doesn’t already have it) so you’re in really good hands. The saddest part was that you were no longer able to play for the rest of the year. Unfortunately, your injury took too long to heal but Tetsuro was there to help comfort you!
The aftermath was a little… scary. You had worked things out with Titania, assuring her you knew she didn’t do it on purpose. She apologized a billion times regardless, but she was more careful with her serves. Tetsuro, on the other hand, was terrified. Every time you played afterward, he could still see the image of the ball hitting your arm, he could still hear the disgusting crack and your scream. That scream haunted him. Every time he does receive a serve when he plays, he shakes a little on the inside, wondering if someone that powerful could ever be on the opposing team.
→Kenma Kozume:
You were running a little late for your date with Kenma. You had texted him that you were on your way like ten minutes after you were supposed to meet. Kenma didn’t mind and waited patiently while playing a game on his phone. About ten minutes after that, you finally arrived. Kenma looked up from his seat at the table when he saw you in the distance. You were smiling and waving, making him chuckle a little and wave back. You waited as the little light turned white to let you cross. Everything happened in slow motion. You were walking slowly towards him, the sun making your skin glow, the wind ruffling your hair… that beautiful smile on your face. If only Kenma had been faster. He’d seen the car in the corner of his eye and bolted up immediately. He moved as fast as he possibly could...
His phone fell from his hand and clattered to the ground but it didn’t matter. He ran towards you, screaming your name but… he was too late. The deafening screech of the car brakes was all he could hear, then numerous horrified screams. He froze, his eyes wide with pure fear. Your body lay on the concrete, blood spilling from the back of your head. Kenma felt as if someone had cut off his air supply. Everything had come to a standstill. It was as if his life had just stopped. Finally, a shriek ripped from his mouth as he finally ran to you, falling to his knees beside you. He was shaking uncontrollably, unable to even touch you. Tears poured from his eyes as everyone started to surround you two. Someone else called for help while he just cried.
You were in surgery for about six hours and the entire time, Kenma sat in the waiting room. Kuroo was the first to arrive, followed by your best friend. All three waited anxiously, unable to talk much. Kuroo had asked a few questions, which Kenma was barely able to answer. So both he and your best friend just tried to reassure him, but it was obvious nothing was properly registering for him. Finally, the doctor had allowed Kenma to see you. You weren’t awake, but he did sit beside you and talk to you all day. You had woken up about five days later and had learned Kenma never once left the hospital until that very day. Kuroo had forced him to go home and shower. Kenma returned soon after, almost bursting into tears of joy when he saw you.
Kenma stuck to you like glue for the entire healing process. He refused to let you out of his sight. Going to the bathroom was the only exception. Kenma stayed at your place, helping you make food, move around the house, and force you to rest. He also kept pain medication close by. You were thankful but constantly urged him to go do something else, which he always refused.
The aftermath was a little bad for Kenma. He often has nightmares about that day, so there are times where you’ll try to turn in bed but find yourself locked in his arms. Kenma feels responsible because it was actually his idea to meet up at that restaurant for a date. You had suggested a park nearby… but he wanted the food there. Not only that, but Kenma has a constant fear of letting you cross the road alone. Even years later, whenever you cross the street, Kenma holds your hand. You believe it’s either because he gets scared himself or just has a fear of letting you cross the road alone. You’re wrong. Kenma will never tell you, but he holds your hand in case there’s another incident like that. That way, he’ll be able to throw you out of the way, ensuring your safety.
→Wakatoshi Ushijima:
You often came to watch Toshi at practice. His team didn’t mind as long as you didn’t distract him, which you didn’t… on purpose. Toshi would often look your way and wave at you, but otherwise, he was pretty focused when it came to practice. His teammates noticed he was actually able to perform better with you there, so there were days where they specifically asked you to come. For the most part, everything was fine. Toshi would talk to you at the beginning of practice, asking you about your day or your plans, then he would leave to practice. If there was a break in between, he would come to talk to you for it, which is where you would show him memes and stuff. Overall, Toshi enjoyed having you there (yes, he showed off for you a few times). Except for this time. You were on your phone, checking a text you’d received from your friend. Normally, you did your best to pay attention just in case. The one time you didn’t, you sorely regretted it. You had stood up because she’d asked you to call her and you wanted to leave the gym due to the noise. Toshi had served, putting as much strength in it as he could. His teammate tried to receive it, but because of his left-handed serve, it bounced off his hand and flew to the side. Right at you. The second you looked up, it was too late. The ball hit your head, causing you to scream and grab it. The phone slipped from your hand while you fell over and rolled down the bleachers, hitting the floor with a thud. Everyone screamed your name and ran to you, stopping short and allowing Toshi to actually get to you. Your head was spinning, you were nauseous, and you found it really hard to stay awake. You could hear faint yelling, but it was soon drowned out by the darkness.
He’s terrified! He knows the speed and strength of his serves! Sure, they get slowed down when they’re received, but not enough! He felt his heart stop the second you screamed and fell down the bleachers. He’d never felt so responsible in his life. He had never even imagined a situation like this, sure there are strays every now and then, but never something like this! His teammates had gathered your things, while Ushijima took you away.
He was quick to bring you to the infirmary and he spent the rest of the day there, staying by your side until you woke up. He repeatedly apologized, claiming he didn’t even realize what had happened was a possibility! Your head was hurting and you weren’t able to think straight, but you promised him you were fine and you understood it was an accident. Of course, no matter how much you assured him, it hurt to see you in your state.
Toshi’s actually still scared to be around you. He’s often scared of even touching you. Your injuries weren’t too bad, thank goodness, but they still really scared him. What if you’d gotten a concussion? What if you’d cracked your skull? What if you died?! All very possible!! Either way, he’s still at your beck and call. Hungry? He’ll make you some food? Tired? He’s got the bed ready with warm blankets. Your head hurts? He’ll get some painkillers. Whatever helps you most. You were perfectly fine within a week, but he still helped as much as he could.
The aftermath wasn’t too bad. Toshi does prefer you sit on his side, but further behind. The team also pitched in to buy this glass shield thing that would keep you safe from all the strays just in case. They’re all very attentive and they're constantly watching where they’ll shoot just in case. Toshi’s very iffy about you being anywhere near them during practice, so you’ll have to promise you’ll pay attention. Just so he doesn’t worry too much. He’s forever grateful to his teammate for actually touching the ball before it hit you, or it could’ve been worse. Then again… it did bounce off his arm and hit you.
→Tsutomu Goshiki:
It was… really, really stupid. You often lie about the actual incident because you believe it to be the dumbest way you’ve ever received an injury. If you could, you would’ve lied to Goshiki, but he actually saw it happen. You were actually just trying to play with a kitty. She was really nice and let you hang around her and had even approached you for some scratches. You obliged but didn’t realize the danger you were in. Out of nowhere, as cats do, she got angry and scratched your hand. You let out a yelp and quickly stood up, jumping back and away from the cat. She scurried off and you lost your balance… unfortunately you were right in front of a flight of stairs. You lost your balance and tumbled all the way down the long… long set of stairs.
Goshiki had actually asked you to meet him there in that specific spot. So right as you got scratched, he was walking towards the stairs. He heard you yelp, causing him to immediately start running and that’s when he saw you tumbling all the way down. He screamed your name but was too slow to catch you. You hit the bottom and rolled as far as your body would allow before just laying there. There was an intense fear that shot through his body when you stopped moving completely. It was as if the wind had been knocked out of him. He’d never felt so scared before in his life.
Goshiki dropped to your side and gently cupped your face. He asked if you could breathe easily and if you could see him properly. You let out a groan and tried to sit up, but he refused. After making sure you were mostly ok, he took you to the infirmary. Turns out, you sprained your ankle from the fall, but other than that you were fine.
Goshiki did scold you for not being aware of your surroundings. He claimed you could’ve been seriously injured and you could’ve avoided that by not being “an idiot”. Though his words were harsh, his actions said otherwise. He took such good care of you. Though you only had a sprained ankle, he didn’t mind carrying you anywhere you needed to go. He often carried your things, brought you food, helped with going up and down the stairs, making sure you weren’t overdoing it, and keeping pain medication on him.
The aftermath isn’t too bad. He’s always cautious when you’re around stairs though. Sure, you weren’t too heavily injured but the sight of you falling down the stairs was terrifying. Especially when you stopped moving at the bottom. Goshiki holds your hand very tightly when going up and down the stairs. He forces you to hold the railing and always warns you to keep an eye on your surroundings. Though he does ease up, every now and then he’ll scold you for not holding the railings while walking down the stairs. You can forget running up and down the stairs too. He’ll panic and give you a lecture on how you can slip and crack your skull open.
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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years
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𝑻𝒆𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓'𝒔 𝑷𝒆𝒕 (𝑱𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒖𝒏𝒉𝒐) 𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅
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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫! 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨× 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞)
𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐒𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐅𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐀𝐔
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 𝟒.𝟗𝐊
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞.
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐃𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐦, 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐮𝐧𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐱 (𝐚𝐥��𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧), 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐃𝐨𝐦! 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨/ 𝐒𝐮𝐛! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫.
𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭: @yunhoiseyecandy @multidreams-and-desires @galaxteez @hanatiny @deja-vux
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"Miss L/N? May I please have a word with you?"
While others would have already been sweating nervously at having their journalism professor single them out after they had just turned in an essay 2 days ago, the called out girl had a smug grin on her face that she did not care to hide as she practically strutted over to her teacher's desk. Looking over to make sure all the other students were gone and door was closed, she immediately pushed away some of the books on the edge of the desk before perching herself on it, one leg crossed over the over. Taking out the cherry tootsie pop from her mouth with a loud pop, she asked him:
"How can I be of service?" With a wink she put thr candy back in her mouth, making sure he could hear the sucking sound she made as she wrapped her lips around it.
He shook his head as he recognized the all too familiar tone in her voice that meant she was up to no good again.
"Don't start with me Y/N, you're already pushing your luck. First off......."
He tapped her exposed thigh with the tip of his pencil.
"You know I don't want you, or anyone sitting on my space. Second..."
One of his hands reached out and took away the lollipop from her mouth and dumped it in the trash bin under his desk.
"I've already told you no more eating in my classroom." He reminded her.
With a pout on her lips, she whined softly.
"But I was hungry! And besides.......I saw you staring at me in class as I sucked on it."
Clearing his throat, the black haired male adjusted his tie nervously, not thinking he got caught.
"You're very distracting at times." He excused himself.
Letting out a giggle, she scooted close to where she was sitting right in front of him, legs spread out enough that if he bent his neck, he'd be able to see right up her short plaid skirt and gaze at her bold choice of the pink lace panties he loved seeing on her during the nights she went over to his house. But he resisted the urge, instead keeping his face up and away from her lower bottom.
"Maybe you're just having trouble focusing cause you're too stressed......but I can help with that Yunho."
Feeling bolder than other days, she slipped off his desk and straddled one of his thick and massive thighs, her lips attaching themselves to his neck as one of her hands rested in between his legs, groping at his now hardening member that was bulging out of his khaki dress pants. Yunho bit back a moan, one of his hands instinctively reaching over to caress her thigh, drawing out circles before going further up her skirt, eyes scrunching together in confusion when he did not feel the material of the safety shorts she was supposed to wear. Feeling something soak his thigh as she slowly grinded down on it, his large hands gripped her thighs and got her off him, placing her back on his desk with a loud thud. She gasped softly when he lifted up her skirt and saw the familiar flower pattern covering her now soaking core, a visible wet patch in the middle of it. Yunho looked back at her with a disgruntled gaze.
"Surprise?" She batted her eyelashes at him rather innocently.
Letting out a huff, he pulled her skirt down before rummaging through his bag.
"Not only do you belatedly disobey dress code and wear a uniform skirt that's much too short, but you don't even wear your safety shorts?" He was beyond annoyed at this point, and Y/N knew it. Wanting to poke fun at him, she snorted.
"What? Afraid I'll bend over and someone else will see?"
Although she meant it as a joke, she immediately stopped laughing when he slapped her thigh.
"Yes."
She gulped as he stared her down. She could see the jealousy burning in his eyes, could also see the lust hidden behind him. He wanted nothing more than to bend her over that dammed furniture right then and spank her for even thinking about pulling off such a daring thing. But then he remembered where they were, the prestigious university he worked at and she studied in and calmed himself down, refusing to give in to her fantasy of having him fuck her in the very classroom where they met a year ago.
Taking a deep breath, he handed her a spare pair of shorts he kept with him.
"Go to the bathroom and put these on right now." He ordered her.
Looking at them, she chuckled.
"And just how did you know to keep a pair with you?" She inquired.
Smiling softly, he leaned down and brushed his nose against hers.
"I'm dating possibly the brattiest and most mischievous vixen in this school. I have to be prepared for anything."
With an innocent peck to her lips, he ushered her off his desk again.
"Now run along and do as I say. You're already on enough problems as it is, especially after you did utterly horrible on your last essay." He picked up a tiny stack of papers and waved it in front of her face.
Grimacing, she looked up at him.
"Does this mean I'm failing the semester?"
"I don't know...what do you think?" He questioned her.
Knowing she was screwed, she put on the cutest and most innocent puppy eyes she was capable of making and began playing with the tie across her teacher's neck.
"Please professor, don't you think you could be a little nice and give me a chance to make up for it?"
Leaning in, she whispered in his ear.
"Perhaps with one of those sloppy and messy blowjobs you love getting?"
Gulping slightly, Yunho gently pried her hands off him.
"Nice try Miss L/N, but if I'm going to be a fair teacher, I have to treat you the same as the others in these situations."
Her mouth dropped as he nonchalantly began packing his things to go have lunch in a teacher's lounge and hang out there until his next class.
"Seriously? Not even if I promise to do better or even bake you a cake?" She scoffed.
"Nope. And I'll remind you the last time you tried to bake me a cake, you nearly burned your eyebrows off." He let out a soft, deep laughter as he brushed past her to leave the room.
"But I'm your girlfriend!" She complained.
"And precisely because you're my girlfriend is why I want you to do better, even if it means failing you to get you to straighten up your act. Seriously princess, just because you're practically an heiress, doesn't mean I'll allow you to do as you please let alone give in to your every whim."
With a kiss to her forehead and a pat on her head he reminded her to behave and to follow his previous instructions of going to the bathroom before leaving her alone in the room.
Feeling fury rise up in her body, Y/N stormed out of the classroom and headed straight to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Hating the fact her stubborn and hard headed boyfriend practically called her a spoiled brat, she locked herself in one of the stalls and proceeded to dip her hand inside her folds, rubbing furiously at the clit, desperately trying to get some relief from all the pent up sexual tension she'd been accumulating. Inserting a finger inside herself, she tried to imagine that it was one of her boyfriend's long fingers penetrating her, even though it was no where near the real thing. Sometimes she'd get wet during class from him just tapping his fingers on the whiteboard, picturing all the times he'd buried them deep inside her and had her squirting all over his arm.
She imagined him laughing in her ear, calling her a dirty little girl and teasing her for making such a mess of herself as his thumb continued to abuse her sensitive little nub. She released long and deep moans, not giving any fucks about if someone came in and found out what she was doing.
Frustrated at not being able to get herself off like she wanted to, she simply tore the lace panties off herself and threw them in the trash can. Stepping out of the stall, she reached for her bag to get the shorts she'd been ordered to put on, but suddenly stopped. Still upset and not getting her way, Y/N zipped her bag back up and adjusted her skirt. With a little shrug, she calmly walked out the bathroom and headed to her next class. On her way over, she accidentally dropped her phone which sent her panicking for a moment.
"Please don't be broken." She was screwed if she broke the third phone her parents bought her in less than a month.
Bending over, she flipped it over and let out a sigh of relief as the screen was intake and still working. Standing upright, she stuffed it back in her bag and continued along as if nothing was the matter, as if she wasn't already late to class....
As if she totally didn't just get caught in her little scandalous lack of clothes.
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Yunho calmly picked up some of his lunch on his fork, ignoring the usual snickering and gossip of his seniors who were seated on the table next to his. He had to fight back the urge to roll his eyes or groan dramatically at their nonsense.
"It was so hot." Seonghwa, the social science teacher laughed.
Hongjoong, who was the visual and performing arts teacher, leaned in to whisper, not so discreetly since Yunho could still hear him perfectly.
"I know. I nearly dropped my books when I saw her ass on display. I wanted to go over there and smack it." He admitted unashamedly.
"Oh my God did you catch a glimpse of her pussy? I'm pretty sure it was soaking and fuck.....I just wanted to have a taste."
Yunho cringed when the older male swiped his obnoxiously long tongue across his lips.
"I bet she tastes so good and I bet her pussy is so fucking tight. I'd totally fuck her if I got the chance."
Seonghwa agreed with Hongjoong's words.
"She'd probably let you. I mean.....if she bold enough to come to this oh so holy school with those extremely short skirts and not wear underwear, I'm pretty sure she'd fuck around with a teacher or two." He added.
"Wasn't there a rumor circulating last year about her hitting on a teacher or something?" Hongjoong tried to remember.
Seonghwa shrugged.
"Wouldn't surprise me if it was true. And it wouldn't surprise me if any teacher accepted her advances. L/N Y/N is a seriously gorgeous girl, I don't think anyone could resist her."
Yunho dropped his fork when he heard her name, his blood boiling now as he replayed all their words now in a different light as he realized they were talking about his girlfriend. Grabbing his lunch, he quickly stood up and threw it in the trash, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, but instead feeling angry and furious. Checking his time, he knew she was about to come out of her next class any minute now, so he waited for her outside his classroom, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently.
When she finally turned the corner, his eyes narrowed in on her, more specifically on her skirt. Sauntering over to her, he caught her off guard when he gripped her wrist harshly and dragged her inside the classroom, leaving her confused and wondering what had gotten into him. Making sure to lock the door behind him, Yunho pinned Y/N to the wall and in a flash lifted her skirt up, his face reddening as he confirmed it indeed was her that Seonghwa and Hongjoong were gushing and lusting about.
"Did I not specifically instruct you to put on the safety shorts?"
She shivered at the harsh tone he was speaking to her with.
"I...well, yes but-"
She let out a squeal when his fist banged on the concrete next to her face.
"Then explain to me why not only did you disobeyed me, but you actually went off parading around the school with absolutely nothing to cover that drenched cunt of yours."
She was absolutely speechless at his demeanor, she had never seen him this angry before and she wasn't going to lie, it was quickly arousing her.
"Yunho...Yunho I'm-"
He cut her off by pressing his lips against hers, one hand gripping her jaw as his tongue poked out to invade her mouth, as his other hand hiked her skirt up, a finger sliding across her folds.
"Don't fucking tell me you're sorry. We both know whores like you aren't build to feel regret."
His mouth silenced the sounds that came out if her as a result of him slipping one of fingers inside her, the very thing she had been craving all day.
"Oh fuck..." She breathed out when he gave her no chance to adjust as he shoved a second finger inside, circling them around to stretch her walls out.
"Hmmm yeah. That's all you think about don't you? Your head is just filled with thoughts of getting fucked."
She couldn't resist it as she began rolling her hips, wanting him to fuck his fingers deeper inside her.
"Is that why you allowed Professor Seonghwa and Hongjoong to see you like that? Did you purposefully bend over to let them see your filthy hole? Hmm? I bet you did it on purpose."
She opened her eyes and gasped harshly when he then added a third finger, the wet noises her pussy was making now becoming louder.
"Wh-what?" She managed to get out a single word.
Yunho grunted as he shoved his fingers deeper in her, almost tempted to shove his entire fist inside.
"Don't play dumb. They saw you bending over and saw your lack of underwear. I had to hear their bullshit talk of wanting to eat your pussy and fucking it." He let out a low growl as he recalled their lewd words, sending him into an angry mode once again, prompting him to move his lips from her mouth to proceed with an attack to her neck, sucking on all her sensitive spots.
"Did you want that? Did you want fucking Park Seonghwa to eat out that pussy of yours? Or did you want Kim Hongjoong to hit it from the back as he slapped your ass red?"
Before Y/N knew it, she was releasing such erotic noises as she threw her head back, gasping out as an unexpected orgasm took over her. Yunho also couldn't believe how unbelievably fast she came, and he was beyond pissed as he realized that he helped her get off to the thought of someone who wasn't him. Pulling his fingers out of her, he squished her cheeks, the remnants of her cum now plastered on the sides of her face.
"Did you seriously just cum at the thought of those two assholes?!"
Without a warning, he lifted her up and roughly sat her on his desk.
"Do I need to remind you who you belong to? Who this pussy belongs to?!"
Spreading her legs as wide as they could go, Yunho dropped to his knees and buried his face in her heat, tongue poking out to suck off all the juices his hands had her spilling out from before. He had no shame as he spilled out almost animalistic sounds as began slurping hungrily at her heat, paying close attention to her clit.
"No one but me gets to eat your pussy out. No one can make you get you like this but me." Pulling away, he spit onto her clit before diving back in, moaning erratically to send vibrations into her mound.
Y/N's chest began rising up and as her breathing became more labored. Her hands tried reaching for his head to try and grind herself against his face, but he harshly slapped them away.
"Keep them up or I'll tie them up." He hissed at her.
Wanting to keep herself from being tempted to move them back to his head, she opted to place them on her chest, kneading at her breasts as Yunho continued to devour her, tongue flicking in and out of her core. She felt herself ready to burst at any moment, and Yunho knew it too. He waited til she was a mere slurp away from cumming before removing himself, earning a frustrated groan from her.
"Yunho!"
She sat up to complain, but his hand wrapped around her neck and pushed her back on the desk, causing a choked gasp to get caught in her throat.
"Shut up you slut. You'll get and take what I decide to give you and you're in no place to complain. I'm still upset at you failing and livid at you being a slutty exhibitionist."
Pulling her up by her hair, he got her off the desk and shoved her to her knees, placing himself in front of her. He had a sadistic look as he began undoing his belt.
"I believe you offered to suck me off a few hours before......well I'm taking you up on that offer. Suck me off and I'll let you cum. Show me what the mouth of yours can do."
She was nearly drooling when his red tip came out, brushing against her nose. It was painfully erect and leaking precum. Wrapping her hand around it, she made sure to spit on it and coat it generously so her hand could stroke him more easily. She looked up at him, sending him a mischievous smile as she began taking him in her mouth. Her eyes never left his face as she sunk his whole length into her mouth, gagging a little when she reached the base, Yunho inhaling deeply as she proved yet again that she was more than capable of stuffing him down her throat. She began bobbing her head, swallowing around the head while her hand worked on the rest of his dick.
Yunho let her do as she pleased, wanting to get her as relaxed as possible before he commenced his plan. Silently, he removed the belt completely off his pants, making move as if he was going to place it on the desk behind her. While she was distracted, he suddenly removed her from his length, a trail of saliva dripping down her chin.
"Ok.....since you obviously can't seem to do it, let me give you a few private lessons."
Y/N slightly panicked when he wrapped the belt around her neck, using it as makeshift leash and collar. He harshly pressed her back into him.
"Open that mouth of yours."
Following his orders, she opened up as wide as she could. Wasting no time, Yunho slammed his cock back inside her mouth, hips moving at a fast pace as he began to fuck her face, hand never letting go of the long strap. Y/N hollowed her cheeks out, gagging and releasing choking sounds every time he hit the back of her throat. Yunho snickered amusedly as he watched drool pour out of her mouth, prompting him to go even rougher on her.
"That's it, just like that-fuck!"
He shut his eyes tightly, eyebrows furrowed as he began chasing his own release. The girl underneath him moaned uncontrollably as he tightened the belt around her, feeling his spurts of cum flowing down her throat.
"Swallow it all you slut. I don't want you spitting any of it out."
Holding her head in place, he made sure he had emptied himself completely before pulling out of her, her lips red and swollen as she gasped for air. Inhaling deeply, she stuck her tongue out to show she had indeed swallowed all of his cum, prompting Yunho to caress her cheek affectionately.
"Good girl......."
Cocking his head to the side, he easily lifted her up into his arms.
"But you're not off the hook just yet."
Y/N stuck her hands out to keep her face from slamming too harshly into the desk, cheek pressed on the cold surface as she felt Yunho lift her skirt higher to expose her ass. She looked over and noticed him loosing up his tie, tearing it off him before grabbing both of her hands and placing them behind her back, wrapping the tie around them and rendering them unable to move. "Look at you, looking so small and pliant...... like you aren't some filthy little whore."
He began to slowly tease her, slapping his massive cock onto her cheeks and then sliding it across her slick folds. Y/N pushed her ass more out, wanting him to just shove it inside her.
"Oh, are you desperate to cum little one? You want my big fat cock inside you to fuck you dumb?" He cooed at her.
She immediately nodded.
"Yes! Please Yunho! Fuck me dumb!" She begged him, wiggling her ass for him to give in.
She began whining when he still made no move to give in.
"Yunho! Would you please-Ahh!"
With no warning, he tore right inside her, hips setting a rough and fast pace. Y/N tried to grip the desk but was reminded about the fact her hands were bound behind her back. Frantic and staggered moans came out of her mouth as Yunho kept hitting her g-spot, making her previous ruined orgasm suddenly spike up once again. He noticed it too, feeling how her walls began squeezing around him.
"Go ahead. Cum, I know you want to."
Needing no further instruction, she came all over his cock, a long drawn out mewl of his name all she could say as she panted heavily as she was coming down from her high. She had no time to relax though as Yunho simply sped up his thrusts, taking advantage of her sensitive state.
"Y-Yunho no! Please! T-too much!" She cried out, earning her a slap on her ass.
"Shut up! You wanted to come so badly? And I'm happy to deliver."
His grunts and her piercing screams could probably be heard all the way across the hallway, but neither of them cared, Y/N because she got him to finally break and him because he got to claim her as his own. Taking a hold of one of her thighs, he lifted her leg up to rest on the desk, hitting even deeper inside her. Letting out ragged and hoarse grunts, Yunho slightly pulled Y/N up using the belt around her neck.
"Tell me who's fucking you this hard? Who's making you feel this good? Hmm? Answer me!" He smacked her ass once again.
Y/N tried to answer, but all that came out was incoherent gibberish, unable to form any words. Yunho couldn't help but release an evil laugh at the state she was in.
"Awww. I really did fuck you dumb. You can't even remember any words. Let me help you refresh your memory."
She let out a shriek when his hand came down to slap her ass.
"A."
He smacked her once again.
"B."
A third slap resonated through the room.
"C."
She had tears falling at this point from her eyes due to the overstimulation and from the seering pain on her bum from how hard his hand was slamming down on it as he continued to say the alphabet out loud for her. She knew he was definitely going to leave more than a few hand prints on it. He was barely getting to the letter 'N' when she began spasming underneath him.
"Yunho! Stop! I'm-fuck!"
She couldn't control herself as she began squirting from how hard he was thrusting in her, a pool of her liquids forming on the floor. When Yunho saw, he let out a groan of accomplishment, feeling smug at getting her to burst out of control. He wasn't satisfied though, he was nowhere near done with her. Not changing his pace at all, he continued his relentless attack on her throbbing and swollen pussy, one hand holding her down in place while the other went to stuff his fingers inside her mouth.
"I know how much you love my fingers. Such a slut for them. You get horny just by watching them during class."
He felt her muffled moans on his fingertips, followed by a choked out grunt when he pushed the deeper in her mouth.
"Tell me? Do you even remotely think Seonghwa or Hongjoong can compete with me? Can they?!"
Whimpering pathetically, she shook her head as she felt another spurts of liquid drip down her thighs. She was beyond worn out at this point, but wanting to push her past her limit, Yunho began untying her hands.
"Look at you making such a mess on the floor. Tell me if anyone can make you drip as much as I do? Can anyone make you cum for yet a fifth time?"
He took out his fingers from her mouth to let her try and talk.
"Please! Yunho! I c-cant! Can't!" She wailed.
Her pleas fell on deaf ears as he flipped her onto her back, holding her legs up onto his wide shoulders and quickly slipping inside her once again.
"Yes you can and you will. I know a little cumslut like you can give me one more, just as messy as the last two."
At this point, her nails were raking along the wood underneath her, her vision blurry from all the overwhelming pleasure she was enduring, her thighs aching from how hard his fingers were gripping on them, prints no doubt were going to be left on them, evidence of all that happened in those 4 walls. She was no longer aware of anything around her, the only thing she could hear was the sound of their sweaty skin slapping against each other and the squealching sounds coming from where they were connected. She muttered something incoherent which she could not even understand herself, but Yunho knew what she was trying to say.
"Come on. Give it to me. Make a mess all over me and then I'll fill up your dirty little hole with my cum."
His thrusts were erratic and sloppy at this point, hand coming down to slap her throbbing and reddened clit, causing her to jolt and squirt all over him once again, her body thrashing and quivering as she tried to move away from him but he just held her in place. With a few more thrusts, he shakily came undone, his hot and thick cum coating inside her walls.
"Fuck! Shit!"
His body collapsed on top of hers, breath hitching as he wheezed slightly. After a few minutes, he got up, bangs sticking to his forehead, sweat trickling down his cheeks and nape of his neck. She was in no better state than him, hair all disheveled and too dazed out to even think. Pulling out of her, a light trickle of liquids came out, falling onto the puddle that was already there.
"Oh my god." Yunho was astonished by the mess they created, unable to stop the shy giggle from escaping his mouth.
Pulling his pants back up, not caring about the wet stains all over it, he turned his attention back to his girlfriend. Bending down, he cupped her cheeks and began peppering kisses all over her face, fingers moving the hair away from her forehead.
"You ok my little princess?" He checked on her.
"Tired......can't...move." Through labored breathing she managed to answer him.
"Don't worry my tiny doll. I'll take you back to my place and take proper care of you."
Grabbing her limp arms, he wrapped them around his neck before lifting her up as if she was nothing more than a piece of paper. Y/N mumbled something with a whiny tone as she buried her face in his neck. Yunho chuckled as he processed her words.
"Well......ok. Just because I kinda feel bad at the state you're in, I'll give you another chance to redo your essay. But I want it turned in before the week is over ok?"
She nodded softly, arms clinging tighter around his neck as they walked through the empty hallways.
"And you say you're not the type to have a teacher's pet." She poked his chest slightly.
"Ya, behave or I'll punish you little pet." He gave her a halfhearted warning, that he knew he'd never follow through on after her heard her fussy little whine.
As they were nearing the exit, they were caught by none of than Seonghwa and Hongjoong, who were talking amongst themselves and stared in shock when they saw them together. Yunho protectively moved one of his hands underneath her thighs to press her flowing skirt to her body, not willing to allow them another glimpse at what was rightfully his. With a completely calm demeanor, he smiled at them.
"Hey guys. Don't mind us, we're just going home so if you'll excuse us."
Walking past them, he tried so hard not to laugh at their shocked and bewildered expressions.
"Oh! By the way, if you see the custodian, tell them I'm sorry about the mess."
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823 notes · View notes
marcholasmoth · 2 years
Text
OSRR: 2931
i went out with my momma today to find me some jewelry to wear for the wedding and we were very successful.
so i originally wanted some dangly earrings that were rose gold with a stripe of sparkly down the center of three chains that would hang about two inches long. then we switched gears to all sparkly dangle, silver-colored with a green stone on the end. then we went to all sparkle with stones gradually increasing in size, platinum plated, and i wasn't sold on it. not at all. it was fine. i'd seen some lotus garnets in rose gold that had sparkle down the center but they were (1) stiff and (2) $1300. so we passed on those. and then my mom pointed out a set of citrine earrings, so i looked at them and held them up and--
they were perfect.
they were the right length, i love the facets of the stone, the finding is yellow gold, and i was so shocked by how much i instantly loved them, i laughed! they're perfect. because my dress is green, i didn't want another green to detract or compete with the green of the dress, which is why i just wanted to go with sparkly. but this set of earrings is simple and elegant and the yellow of the citrine and the gold is perfect.
i'm so excited.
after that, i got lunch with papa and we came home and i napped for a short while.
also my shoes came in today, just before i left to get joel.
joel is always so sweet. every day when i pick him up i ask him how his day has gone. i have changed my phrasing to be, "did you have a day?" because that's always what he would say. this gets a little more detail out of him. if it's been a long and shitty day, he'll tell me about it. if it's been uneventful, he just goes "yeah," and leaves it at that. most days are the same - his job isn't great for him, but at least it's a routine. a routine that pays. neither of us like getting up early, though.
anyway, i brought him home and he got to spend the evening with his best friend. not sure what they did, but dean was in the area and instead of going all the way home and then all the way back, he just set up in joel's office downstairs and that was that. it's always nice to see him.
i went to see my seester. i pulled out my technology to work on homework things, and she told me about their party's recent adventures in d&d, which was really cool, and then i went to pick up dinner. which was unexpectedly and disappointingly disgusting. it had no flavor. my food was honestly just gross looking, and it didn't taste like anything i'd want to continue eating, anyway. it was honestly really disappointing, because it wasn't cheap, either. food that costs money (which it does by default) should taste good. there is no reason taco bell should taste better than a single mexican place that's been in business for years.
(although it kinda makes sense? because milford is mostly White People and White People think salt is spicy, so no seasonings makes sense for them. but thankfully, we're not that kind of White People, we're just white people, lowercase, not Karen or Chad, simply just here and enjoying spicy and flavorful foods while white.)
(good god i hate this town.)
it's fine. i'm fine. i'm tired.
with dinner, we watched pirates of the caribbean at world's end which my sister had never seen, so we fixed that. i haven't seen the second one in a hot minute, and i haven't seen the fifth one, and the fourth one is lackluster. so that's where i stand with that.
but it's sleep time as it's quarter past 2am and i've been reading for a while. i'm so fuckin hype that i don't have to get up in the morning to go work with the kids. they're outta town! i don't have to worry about it!! i can sleep!!
i'm gonna sleep in. i'm hype.
i have lots of reading and homework to do tomorrow. i have a few things to adjust because thesis statements aren't coming easily when i have to deal with things that are either so current there's no information, or are so classified that i wouldn't be allowed to read them even if i wanted to.
rip me i guess.
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Stay With Me (Pt. 03 of 09)
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Pairing: Daryl Dixon X Reader
Word count: 2.1 K
Summary: Daryl found you surrounded by the dead, stuck in the backseat of a car. You were wishing for death to take you away for quite a while now, but, as you slid back and forth into consciousness, there was only one thing keeping you alive. Him, the man with blue, worried eyes and kind voice. Your beaten up body was ready to give up, too wounded and broken to keep going. But this man, who went out of his way to save your life is the only thing in the world holding you up. And, because of him, you feel something you haven't felt in a very long time: hope. Wherever he's taking you, you want to get there, and not only to be buried. For what it feels like the very first time, you want to live. He takes you back to Alexandria, but even there, the nightmares and the terror from all the torture and pain you've been through keeps creeping closer, and Daryl, your hero, is the only one who can keep that all away.
Warnings: Mentions and description (not graphic) of past abuse; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD); some violence at the end of the story (a little bit graphic, but not so much); blood.
<- Previous part (02)
Next part (04) ->
{The Walking Dead Masterlist}
I want to thank my awesome friend @jodiereedus22, who helped me (and still does) a lot to get this story done. She's also a writer and she's amazing so please go check her work!!
×
Memories From The Past
“I was with the same group of people since the world fell apart. Me and six other people.” Slowly you start, keeping your voice down so Daryl will be the only one to hear it. “We were fine and... One day we had to leave the house because there were too many dead around... So we... We left and this group found us. They were good, they offered help.” How stupid you were to believe it. To go with them and trust their kindness. Kindness, now, is rare. It's used as a trick, a trap. And you fell for it. “They had a couple of houses, lived well together and... It was normal, for a week it was normal. I-I was starting to feel safe when...” Your body shakes, like a leaf, and Daryl moves closer, pulling the blanket over your shoulders. “The men started making... Propositions. And I would never do that, and-and in the beginning they were okay. They respected my decision, but soon, it... They started getting aggressive. I told my group and we decided to run away during the night but they found out.” You're crying, sobbing, a hand on your heart. “They got us. And-and all the others were useless. Four men and two older women, so they killed them. They had t-these dead tied up and they made me watch as my friends were eaten.” It's hard to continue, to push the words out, to revisit that day. Those days, endless. The hours that never seemed to end.
“ ‘S alright. That's enough.” Daryl says, but you push the blanket away, freeing your arms from underneath and holding his hand. You just need to make sure he's real. That he's here, the man who saved you, who won't let anyone hurt you again.
“They locked me up after. They... They told me they didn't want to... Rape me... They wanted me to enjoy what they did. T-the humiliating, degrading sex, the extreme bondage, the cuts, the wounds, the pain. All of it.” You decide to just say it, spill it out, as fast as you can just to get it over with. “But I wouldn't. I wouldn't and I was thinking they'd just kill me. I was ready but they didn't. They came every single day, I stopped counting after a month, to ask me to surrender but I never did. They beat me, kicked me, cut me, spit on me. They used to drag one of the dead to the basement and leave it there, groaning at me for days.”
“That's enough. Ya don't have to–”
“Then a herd came. I heard it. I heard it killing them so I just pushed myself up and crawled through a window.” You look down at your arms, the grazes, and scratches from the glass. “I fought with a man for the car, and he gave me this–” You tilt your head to the wound on your left thigh. “–right before one of the dead got him. So I started driving, and I kept driving until the gas was over. I stood there as the dead came, surrounded me and I just wanted to die.” You're head is spinning, and you feel like you're just about to faint. “I wanted to die until you found me.”
The look on his eyes kills you. Why is he in such pain? Why is he looking at you like... Like you're breakable. Like you're broken already. Maybe it's because you are. And you will never speak of it again. You will never let these words come out of your mouth. The memories are more than enough to torture you day after day.
“Nobody will ever hurt ya again,” Daryl says, his voice filled with anger, a kind of anger you never witnessed before. “I promise ya. Never.” He pulls you into a hug, carefully, but you just move into his chest, biting back a wince when pain spreads through your body. You're sobbing, uncontrollably, and you're sure the tears are soaking Daryl's shirt. It hurts to cry. “Shh. ‘S alright, babygirl. Calm down, ‘M right here with ya. ‘M right here.”
“Will-will they kick me out?” You stutter, still hiding your head on his chest.
“No. Yer not going anywhere, hear me?” Daryl pulls away, just enough to look into your eyes. “Hear me?”
“Can you stay with me? Please.” Holding on to his shirt, you beg, unable to bear the thought of being left alone.
“Of course.”
Relieved, you pull him, moving to the side a little despite the pain. Daryl hesitates a bit before moving, resting his back against the headrest as you move to lay your head on his chest, pulling your legs up, basically curling into him.
You're not sure how long he stays there, in silence, a hand caressing your hair. But when you start getting hungry, you know he'll have to leave eventually.
“(Y/N),” Carol calls from the door frame. “Can I bring your lunch?”
Nodding weakly, you watch as her smiles and leaves.
“I need to talk to Rick,” Daryl says, carefully moving to stand up, making sure you'll be comfortable against the headrest. “Him and Deanna. So they'll stop bugging ya about... What happened before.”
“Will you be back?” You ask as he stands up, holding his hand.
“I promise I will. I won't leave ya alone.”
Nodding, you force yourself to let go of his hand. Carol brings you lunch and you struggle to eat without her help. It always takes a while, and Carol talks through it, even though you don't answer. You should though, she's been so kind to you, patient, doing everything she can... It's unfair to give the silent treatment.
“Thank you.” You say when you're done eating, handing her the empty plate. The words still sound low and weak, and you don't feel as comfortable as you feel with Daryl. “For... For everything.”
Her lips break into a smile, bright and sweet. “You don't have to thank me. I'm happy to help.” Carol moves to hold your hand, but you're quick to move it away. “I'm sorry.”
“No, I just...” Looking down, you feel another tear rolling. “Sorry.”
“It's alright, honey. It's good to see you feel comfortable around Daryl.” The mention of his name warms your heart. “I've never seen him so protective of anyone.”
“Daryl is...” Your hero, your anchor. He's the only thing holding you up, keeping you from falling apart.
“I know. I can see it in your eyes.” Carol stands up, giving you one last glance before heading to the door. “And I see it in his eyes too.”
You're left alone again, with your thoughts and memories. Daryl only comes back a few hours later, telling you he had spoken to both Rick and Deanna, and your stay in Alexandria was allowed. He says they usually make a small gathering to welcome new residents, but it'll only happen when and if you want it. You don't. In fact, you don't think you can leave this house just yet. You haven't even left the room, just for a few minutes every morning, when the streets are empty to get some sunlight. Anything else doesn't feel safe.
Later that night, you're wide awake after a quick nap brought the memories back as nightmares. So you just lie there, facing the ceiling, in the dark, shaking like a leaf. Even though the silence, the walls, and blankets covering you, you feel unprotected, exposed, vulnerable.
“The morning is coming.” You tell yourself, whispering, barely hearing your own voice. The sun will come back, the darkness will vanish and... And you'll probably feel pretty much the same way. “The morning is–” You're cut short when you hear footsteps, quickly pushing yourself up, biting back a moan when your body hurts. But your whole body relaxes when you see Daryl walking by, through the open door. He stops when he sees you, confusion on his face.
“What are ya doin’ up?” He asks, stepping inside the room.
“I'm not sleeping.” You mumble, not sure if the answer makes much sense. “I don't sleep. Not much.”
“Why?” Daryl sits on the edge of the bed, and you lie back down, holding his hand as usual.
“Bad dreams.” You admit, your eyes on his. You can't see the blue in this darkness, but you don't have to. Feeling his stare is enough to calm you down, make you relax. “If you... If you stay here– If you sleep here I– Maybe I can...” The words get all confused, as you understand what you're asking of him. But you need him, you're suddenly aware. If he's here through the night, you'll feel safe. You'll be able to sleep, knowing he's around.
“Ya want me here?” Daryl says, his voice low as if he didn't want to disturb the night.
“Yes, but... If you don't want it's ok. I– I'm just...” Restless, you move a little, feeling stupid for asking Daryl such thing. But you need him so much. Tears start rolling down, so you look away, breathing fast.
“Alright, alright.” You feel when he starts moving, and you do the same, sliding to the side to give him space. “Careful.” He says as you push yourself up a little, heart beating fast at the sensation of having him here.
You're not thinking much, and when you use your left leg to push your weight up, you feel a sting and a sharp pain spreading through your leg. A groan leaves your lips at the same moment, and you wince in pain, freezing in place. You feel wetness on the wound, and you quickly push the blankets away, all air leaving your lungs when you see blood staining the white bandages.
“Calm down.” You hear Daryl's voice, but you're hyperventilating, the agony of the flesh wound reopened bringing tears to your eyes. “Carol!” He shouts, startling you a little. “Lemme see.”
You nod, lying back down as he moves the blankets away, his hands just brushing against your skin. “It's ripped.” You moan, trying not to move, despite how your body is shaking.
“What happened?” Carol gets here quickly, her eyes wide.
“Go get Denise.” Daryl's voice is urgent, and it sounds like an order. She doesn't say anything before bolting away. “You'll be alright. I'll remove the bandages, ‘s that ok?” With your eyes closed, you nod, barely feeling his fingers on your skin as the dressings are removed. Soon enough you feel the cold wind on your flesh. “Some stitches are ripped. Not all of them.”
You barely hear his voice above the agony, covering your face with both your hands. “It hurts.” You mutter, feeling stupid for stating the obvious.
“I know. Denise will–” He's still speaking when Denise comes in suddenly, saying something you can't understand.
She's soon working on your leg, applying local anesthesia before anything else. You're relieved when the pain starts to fade, but you can't look. You feel the blood flowing out, and if wasn't for Daryl holding you, you'd lose it.
As Denise stitches you up, you have your back on Daryl's chest, his arms encircling your waist. You try not to shake, not to move, but it's hard. The tears come flooding again, as the memories try to haunt you. “ ‘S alright, babygirl. You'll be alright.” Daryl says on your ear, and you close your eyes tight.
He stays even after Denise leaves, still holding you as you hold on to him. The silence is comfortable, safe, and you feel yourself slowly drifting off to sleep.
“How long have you carried me here?” You ask, voice low and weak.
“Four days.”
“Four days?” You move to look at him, but his grip gets tighter, holding you in place.
“Careful. Ya gotta move slowly.” Settling back into place, you nod. “I had my bike but I didn't think ya could hold on so I carried ya.”
“I'm sorry...” Whispering, you grab a handful of the fabric of his shirt. “It must have been exhausting.”
“Don't apologize. All the way I was prayin’ I wasn't bringin’ ya here just to bury ya.” His chest vibrates, moving up and down as he breathes.
“You kept me alive.” Taking a deep breath, you rub your hand on his chest, as if making sure he's really here. Your hero. You will never understand why he did that, or how much trouble he put himself through to get you here, to save you. “Your voice was the only thing calling me back into consciousness and... For so long I just wanted to die already but you... You made me want to try. To live.”
“And ya will live now. I promise ya, (Y/N).”
A small, quick smile comes to your lips. Even though it's gone too soon, it feels good to know you still that the capacity to do such a thing.
And it happens again, in the morning after, when you open your eyes to find Daryl still in the bed with you.
×
@funeral-7 @heyyy-hey-babyyy @twdeadfanfic @soraitmnt @winchester-angel @bvbwestfall @shawtygonemad @cameronsails @pulplorrd
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gracereally · 3 years
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Getting Stopped by the Cops and Other Embarrassing Things That Happened in My First Week of Freedom
Hello hello!
It's been one week since I was freed from the two week travelers' quarantine upon arriving in Korea. So much has happened this past week I can barely believe it's only been a single week!
Moving to a new country comes with a lot of stumbling blocks, especially when you don't speak the language. Today's post is framed within some of the more embarrassing (and funny) growing pains I have had this week.
Monday
My first day out of quarantine was on Monday! I would be released at 12pm, so my school director thought it would be prudent to get my health exam the same day in order to get it out of the way. Everyone entering Korea with my visa needs a full health exam to ensure we are not bringing any problematic illnesses (besides COVID) to the country.
So my first day out of quarantine consisted of being poked, prodded, peeing in a cup, drawing blood, getting x-rayed fully naked, and other awful ventures. Many people at the health center didn't speak English, but my school director helped when she could, and everyone was very kind. Still, it felt kind of humiliating for my first post-isolation experience.
Afterwards, she took me to a cafe for lunch, to the grocery store for supplies, and she also gave me a tour of my apartment building. It was a full day, and a little overstimulating to be honest. I went to bed early before my first day of work.
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Tuesday
On Tuesday I started at my new job! I learned all about the school, it's curriculum, and observed a few classes. I have a lot of thoughts about the school, but I'll speak about it in another post.
Wednesday
I taught a full day of classes.
Yep, you heard right. I taught a full day of classes on my second day of work. For the most part it went alright, but it is a STRUGGLE to jump into a class in which you have no context, don't know the students, or even what they have been learning. But I got through it!
Thursday & Friday
For the rest of the week, I taught most of my classes. Typically teachers will observe for a few days, but my director had me jump right in. It was tough, and I think it's going to continue to be that way for a few weeks. It's kind of terrible to be so unsure of yourself at the front of the classroom, as well as having to conduct myself in such a specific way to fit the school's standards. I've been teaching for years but still really doubted myself this week. But I guess I'll learn!
On Friday after work, a co-worker of mine (also a newbie!) and I were bored and decided to explore the neighborhood. Since we get out of work at 9pm, it was too late for anything to be open. Currently, Seoul is at a level 4 lockdown, so all restaurants and bars are closed by 9pm. Gangnam was a ghost town as we walked around, but it was still nice to get out of the apartment.
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Saturday
The same co-worker and I decided to go shopping for new work clothes. I was under the impression my job would be a business casual dress code...but as it turns out they expect us to look extremely professional, and I needed new clothes.
We took the subway to an underground mall and shopped for hours. It was really fun! The mall was underground, and consisted of a ton of clothing stalls. Unfortunately, it was a struggle to find clothes that would actually fit my body. Korea has "free sizes" which are supposed to be one-size-fits-all, but they definitely do not fit all. Most clothes were smaller than an American medium.
I bought a few things, and then we went to a Korean restaurant. It was 8:30pm when we walked in and the restaurant was empty, so we thought it would be a quick, cheap meal before we headed home. The store owner kept asking us to 'hurry up' because of the curfew, so we had to eat fast. But it was yummy at least.
We also may have gotten slightly turned around on our way back home, but we made it back eventually haha.
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Sunday
My co-worker texted me that there is a K-pop event not too far from us and she wants to go. I don't know anything about K-pop but I was down. We decided to take electric scooters.
On every street corner here you can find electric scooters waiting to be rented. With a quick download of an app, you scan the scooter's bar code and can enjoy a ride! It was a really fun and inexpensive way to travel. We went to two cafe giveaways, where you apparently order a particular drink to get some K-pop swag. Ordering was a little bit of a struggle with the language barrier, but we managed it. My co-worker is luckily much more knowledgeable about Korean than I am.
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You might be wondering what I was talking about in my post title, but no it's not clickbait: I really did get pulled over by the cops. On the scooter.
We had also decided to go to a different mall later on, and we took the scooters again. This time, we took a bigger road, and made our way to COEX mall. All of a sudden, a cop car pulls up next to us and asked us to stop. Apparently, it's illegal to ride the scooters 1. on sidewalks (though we had seen others doing this) and 2. without a helmet. They took our drivers' licenses and their eyes bugged when they saw our American cards. We explained we had no idea and we had only just arrived in Korea so they let us go with only a warning. We decided to walk the rest of the way LOL
Unfortunately it was still a bust in terms of clothing sizes at the mall, even at the foreign stores like H&M and Zara. I tried on a 16 in H&M and could not even get the clothes on -- I am usually a 10! And yes, they were supposedly US sizes. I guess it will be only online shopping for me.
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We decided to end the day at a Mexican restaurant, where our language barrier while ordering caused them to only bring us one meal (we had both ordered 2 enchiladas...so they brought us one order of 2 instead of 2 orders of 2). We talked about how embarrassing and rude of us it feels like to stumble so much with Korean, but most people here have been kind to us.
Anyway, it's been a long but fun week. Life here in SK is definitely going to be different, but it's so interesting to experience such new things. Here's hoping the growing pains get easier.
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Until next time,
Grace ~
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fonteyn · 4 years
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an update on where i’ve been
under the cut  is a long rant on which i’m getting some things off my chest.
I'm not sure if anyone is wondering, not sure if anyone even noticed, honestly, but I haven't posted or pretty much interacted here on Tumblr for at least a month now, my queue was running for a little bit but I got tired of filling it and eventually stopped posting at all. I've received a couple of messages and replies to the last chapter I posted on my Caspian fic asking about when I would update and I first of all feel I need to apologize for the long wait. The truth I found myself fighting with for the last couple of months is that actually....I'm not okay. 
I've been holding on for most of the pandemic, keeping myself busy, taking ballet classes and all, but then university came back and keeping up with the full schedule of classes, assignments and my internship (which demands about 30 hours every week) became very difficult and unfortunately sent me into a downwards spiral. 
One thing that has been constantly on my mind is that I have to get a new internship soon as my contract ends in March and I need the money from it to keep paying my bills and medication. In the last two months, I was rejected by every single one of the places I applied to (some of you might have seen other posts I made about this). 
I currently live with my parents, my brother and my boyfriend. My parents and sibling have created a war zone between them. They fight ALL THE TIME which is upsetting for too many reasons to number. I feel embarrassed that my s/o is subjected to watching this, he could live somewhere else but i think something tells him that if he did, I'd unravel too. 
Also, my dad, a lifelong alcoholic, has gone back to more hardcore drinking habits. He spent 2018 sober, but fell off the wagon in January 2019. He has done this many times before, drinking a little bit here and there, hiding from me and my mom, and becoming bolder as time goes on, which is how he is right now. Getting piss drunk every single day. This is not only saddening but also disruptive to me as he gets very touchy and mad about anything you tell him when he's intoxicated. He happens to be the kind of person who knows exactly what to say when he wants to hurt you. We argue. I scream. He says things to me that make me cry like a little girl. I feel powerless. I thought we were past this. Once I had a job and my own money, he seemed to respect me more, but when he's drunk he's right back to his old asshole self.
And then... well...the elephant in the room is coronavirus. I was feeling okay, not super paranoid for a long while but something clicked on me ever since my ballet teacher tested positive back in mid-October. Me and my partner also found out that some people whom we trusted were not being as safe as they had us believe, and now I don't want to go out EVER. I put so much alcohol on my hands every day that my skin is peeling. I clean everything, my shoes, the groceries, the car. I take a full body shower anytime I get home from a forced outing. I always wear a mask. My boyfriend also takes all the precautions. But as I said, I live with three more people, who don't have the same thoughts. Despite agreeing with the seriousness of the situation when I talk to them, they have varying degrees of protection. Yes, they wear masks. But my parents don't clean the groceries with alcohol. They don't take off their shoes when they get home. My mom cleans houses for work and doesn't wear a mask when she's at her employers as her shifts are long, and she usually ends up eating lunch there. Anyway, these are just a few quips. All of it makes me insanely anxious, so much so that I even though about moving out. But I don't have the financial stability necessary to do that as I won't have a job in three months (and this is not something I can negotiate bc there's a law in my country that you can't intern in the same place for over 2 yrs) and I need to pay my own bills (including my meds) and frequent blood tests cause - uuuuh - have i mentioned that I've been on an accutane course for six months?
It's all just been adding up. There are more weird petty things too, i guess.
I'm going into my last year of university and have no idea what to do next, I'm pretty sure I won't hold onto any college friends as even the fucking quarantine made them forget all about me (they hit me up only when they need material for a certain class we're taking). I feel alone and isolated, which i understand is something a lot of us are dealing with. I feel selfish knowing that I haven't had any major losses, and yet I feel so fucking sad all the time. The moment I realized I was definitely not okay was when I was crying as I wrote my tax law assignment. I haven't been better ever since.
If you are still reading after this nonsensical rant on which i exposed my private family life to strangers on the internet, i thank you for hearing me out.
If you're a reader of my fics, I'm sorry for not updating enter a king and a queen. I'm working on chapters, they will most likely be very long, probably longer than the previous ones. I will be taking my time, and hopefully I can get something out by mid January.
Uhh, I don't know how to finish this so....i guess...I'll see you when I see you.
Happy holidays, everyone. I wish health to you and all your loved ones 💕
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mikeyfuckinway · 4 years
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NORTHSTAR CAN EAT MY FUCKING ASS BRO I'VE BEEN TAKING THEIR CONCERTA "GENERIC" FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS NOW AND YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I JUST FOUND OUT??? IT DOESN'T USE THE SAME FUCKING RELEASE SYSTEM. IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT IF YOU TAKE ADHD MEDS SO I'M GONNA WRITE A LITTLE UNDER THE CUT
tl;dr: Just because something is considered a "generic" for a brand of medication does not mean it works the same way. "Authorized generics" are approved brand name drugs without the brand on the label while "generics" could be the same drug but different in other aspect, i.e. delivery. Northstar may be the same drug as Concerta (methylphenidate) but the release system doesn't work the same way. Check your manufacturers
tw for prescription drug talk, ADHD, poor mental health, stuff relating to that
So I started on brand Concerta right, took it for a few months, upped my dosage and then my mom switched both of our prescriptions to Costco since it was a little cheaper. When she put in that I was getting Concerta, the asked her if a generic would be okay and since we aren't really sticklers about that we said it's fine. So I've been on this shit for 3 months and recently I've been having a LOT of trouble with school, for around the past 3 months. I told my doctor about it and I wasn't quite sure whether it was an issue with me or the medication, but she recommended I switch to Vyvanse, which is supposed to last longer. It's a little expensive so I was doing some research on similar things and people's experience with switching from Concerta to Vyvanse and I come across the strangest thing!
I find this article mostly regarding the differences between Vyvanse and Concerta, but it does discuss the release system Concerta uses, saying this:
"Concerta is available in a less expensive generic form. However, the generic versions do not use the OROS pump delivery system and, therefore, may not have the same effects as Concerta."
Imagine my surprise as someone who's been on generic Concerta for 3 fucking months. I go on to find out that there are not only "generic" forms of medication but also "authorized generic" forms of medication. The companies that manufacture the original product are the ones who do the authorizing so you may think they would use it maliciously and make it sound like their product is the only good one, but in this case it is a VERY important distinction.
For the unaware, Concerta uses an OROS pump delivery system. In short, there are pores in the tablet that let water in which in turn slowly lets the medication out. This makes it so it releases over a long period of time because of weird water pressure shit, I barely remember anything about osmosis but it has to do with that shit.
You want to know what the kicker is? The OROS pump system is patented. So every single Concerta "generic" is not using it. I'm not sure what the hell they're using but Northstar sure as hell is not using anything good. The only Concerta "authorized generic" is manufactured by Patriot Pharmaceuticals, which is owned by Janssen, the company that makes Concerta and owns the OROS patent.
Now on to my personal shit: Like I said, I've been on Northstar's Concerta "generic" for about 3 months after being on brand Concerta for and when I found this out, I started to think about how long it's been lasting. I usually take it at the beginning of or midway through my first period and I'm able to get the most work done during my second and third periods and a little into my lunch, but once I hit fourth period I'm fucking out of there.
Once I combined this with the knowledge that the release system in the shit I've been taking is different, I had a fucking brain blast. And I'm fucking pissed.
Rant here if you wanna skip: I've been operating under the assumption that it's my fault that everything is going wrong right now. I'm super behind in my classes, I've been skipping some days and along with this comes depression and anxiety which only makes it worse. The state I'm in now, both with school and mentally, is almost exactly the same as the third trimester of my junior year, which is what prompted me to get diagnosed and medicated in the first place. The only reason it's not nearly as bad is because I've had at least some kind of medication, but regardless, it's fucking sucked and I'm just so pissed off.
Edit 7/8/22: I didn't include this because I thought I was just regular angry but I'm mostly sure that northstar's concerta generic was also giving me some serious mood regulation issues, and stacking that on top of my regular adhd/autism mood regulation issues absolutely ruined me. I also read a reddit post by someone else that also said they were having mood issues on northstar so. Fuck northstar don't take fucking northstar concerta
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kenmasgameboy · 4 years
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PIPSQUEAK
a kuroo x gangmember!reader
summary;
" you like to cause a bit of trouble, pipsqueak?"
" pipsqueak? seriously?"
Life for you got turned upside down after your first year at Nekoma high. Realizing it was too dangerous, your parents sent you back to live in Miyagi and attend Karasuno with your old friends. Kuroo Tetsuro, the Police Chiefs son, comes into contact with you in the most unexpected way possible, bringing trouble wherever you both go.
—————————-
Prologue.
      High school was never that interesting to you. Though, you'll admit that it was a good way to help the days pass. You always found different games to help.
At first, games to you meant sneaking out of the house, slashing tires, almost getting arrested, going to parties. You had a bad reputation. You had been mixed up with all the wrong people before at your old school. But now you were going to turn your life around. Even if that means that now games to you would mean studying. Kind of.
         The closest you'd probably get to your new life would be getting in trouble for minor things at school. For example, falling asleep in class was a specialty of yours. Truly, an art form. Waking up to that sweet slap of a ruler against your desk was better than any alarm clock you'd ever hear. The rush in your chest, the heat to your cheeks, the sweaty palms. Incredible. But that is it. You promised your mother that this year you would be making her proud at Karasuno. You wouldn't be hanging out with those "thugs" as she liked to call them. You would keep up, maybe pay attention, and maybe make some more real friends.
       The truth was that school never felt like a real challenge to you. Sure there were plenty of difficult subjects that made you feel stupid but you always kept out of the drama, minded your business, and kept your head down. It was fine. There really was a target on your back now that you were the new girl at school though, and you had adjusted week by week meeting new people and reuniting with some old ones, too. But ultimately you decided the social system just wasn't made for you. There wasn't really a good place for you to fit in, or maybe it just wasn't comparing to the kind of family you made before.
      Today was one of those days where your motivation was at its peak, you were taking good notes. Studied for a quiz, been overly diligent. Then that sweet beautiful sound of the lunch bell rang, you pulled out your food, grabbed your skateboard, and left the classroom in a bit of a hurry. As you were leaving you started to hear a conversation:
      Dude, don't worry, I have it completely handled. Watch...
      "(Y/N)!" Narita, your classmate called for you once you exited the room and into the hallway. He stood next to Ennoshita who looked like he would explode any second. You knew Narita, him and Ennoshita were in Class 4 with you and you really didn't have that many real friends at school but you wouldn't mind calling them that. They were some of the friends you were reunited with from middle school, they were a big comfort to you when you transferred in.
      "Hey, how's it going?" You slowly walked over, trying to find your excuse to leave and take a nap without seeming impolite.
      "Great, good. Thanks, yourself?" Narita answered for him and Ennoshita. He also seemed in a hurry for some reason but was much worse at covering it up.
      "Pretty tired, but uh, for the most part—" You started but your sentence didn't last long.
      "You should come to my party! Uh— Our party. We're having a party it would probably wake you up. It's in Tokyo! I mean—" Narita came in strong.
       "Nice, buddy. You really do got this handled." Was all Ennoshita followed it up with, "Gotta go, see you guys in class."
       "A party?" You laughed a little, just because these guys were anything but the partying type. You started walking and Narita was following you like a hawk, "Don't you guys have volleyball practice or something?"
        "Yeah, of course. But not this Friday night! I mean technically we do but we'll be done at 6:30. Party can start at 7:30." Narita followed up, "All the volleyball guys will be there, too. We have a summer training camp in Tokyo starting on Monday so this is kind of the only day we can get everyone together. We already had our friends from Nekoma invite pretty much everyone they knew."
       "N-Nekoma, huh?" Your smile wavered, "That sounds like it'll be really fun for you guys. Thanks for the invite, but I don't really know anyone on your team. Plus, I can't get to Tokyo by 7:30." You said, declining as well as you could without making your answer too suspicious.
       "Well, yeah about that. Um, by 'it's in Tokyo' what I meant to say was Tokyo guys will be there. They're volleyball players, too, actually." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck and adjusting his satchel, trying his best to act cool and lean against the vending machine you were using.
       "So, it's a Volleyball mixer with you guys and a bunch of guys from Tokyo but it's not in Tokyo? Where is it, then?" You asked for the elaboration, kind of liking this dancing way to get to the point.
        "Yes, well and other schools in Miyagi, too. It's a lot of schools, I mean I'm talking Nekoma, Fukorodani, Aoba Johsai, Johzenji, Date Tech, Shiratorizawa.. maybe.. Inarizaki.. and more.. again maybe. But it's at Kinoshita's house. Which is still kinda far, but it has a pool! His family is loaded and they'll all be gone this weekend." Narita finally got to the point.
        "Sounds like it'll be a good time for you guys. I'm happy for you, sounds like you've made a lot of friends from other schools." You cheers'd your milk to him and started walking again to find a place to eat.
        "No, no. Girls will be there, too. It's kinda the whole point."
        "You really have to work on your pitch." You said plainly.
        "Please, I need your help (Y/N). I was put in charge of getting girls to come to this party." Narita begged, you couldn't help but let out a laugh at his desperation. In all your years of knowing him and being in the same classes you had never seen him talk to a single girl who wasn't in a group project or something related to it.
        "Why you?"
        "It was either me or Tanaka."
        "Oh, then definitely you are the better choice." You agreed, having known just from the previous stories he's told you. "Interesting proposition. I'll think about it."
       "You'll think about it and say yes?" He tried, "Every time I talk to a pretty girl I feel like I'm going to throw up, I can't talk to groups of girls and invite them to a party. But you're likable, more well known now since you're the new girl."
       "First of all, rude that I don't make you want to throw up. I'm pretty, sometimes."
       "Fair."
        "How about, I'll say yes if you tell me who it is you have a crush on, which girl you most want at this party then I'll help out." You offered. Narita thought for a minute as you started eating your lunch.
       "Fine." He nodded, "This is my duty to my boys." Then he leaned into your ear and whispered the name of the prettiest and smartest girl in your class: Ichika Yua. Ichika was going to be a tough sell.
       "Alright. A deals a deal. You've given me a secret and I will do what I can do. How many girls do you need, anyway? Are we going for a 1:1 ratio or..?"
       "No, these guys need a much higher chance I think. Let's try a 4:1 ratio."
       "Yeah, actually you're gonna take what you can get."
       "Yes, ma'am."
        "Now give me the rundown on your team. I don't really know any of them and I need to know for my pitches I have to do this week. And don't think because I'm doing some work means that you can slack off okay. I really only know 2nd-year girls, if you want 3rd year or 1st you have to go to them. You need to try too. Also, will there be alcohol?" You listed off your demands and were straight forward. Narita made a slow nod,
        "Oh, I almost forgot. Do you know any girls from Nekoma who could come?" He asked you the dreaded question.
        Yup, you were originally supposed to spend your high school years at Nekoma High School. When you were entering high school your dad got a job offer in Tokyo, forcing you to move out there after middle school. Then after everything happened, your Mom knew it was too risky to let you live out in Tokyo still and she shipped you back here to go to Karasuno and live in a small apartment by yourself. You have family friends who come to check on you and your parents visit when they can. It's not horrible, at least now you get to come back to streets more familiar.
      "Um, I think the girls I knew from Nekoma aren't exactly the girls you want at a party. Besides, you should just ask your volleyball brethren to ask some girls and pull their weight. Or are they too pretty for you to talk to?" You teased Narita and knocked his head.
      "Hey, girls are girls." Narita held his head from where you knocked it.
      "Sure, if thats the case then the next time you see me I better be seeing some chunks."
     You and Narita continued to eat lunch together that day. Until you realized you only had a limited amount of time left and had to use the bathroom before class so you excused yourself. You skated away around the outside of the courtyard with a bun in your mouth and around some of your other classmates, waving.
        "Dude, uh. Who was that?" A guy with an aggressive appearance walked up to Narita, having walked past a few minutes before but stayed just to gawk.
        "Huh? (Y/N)?" Narita clarified, innocently.
        "(Y/N)... wow. What a beautiful name." Tanaka sighed in simp, "Is she our year?"
        "Yeah, man. She's in my class. You never noticed her before? I'm surprised she was the talk of Karasuno guys for like the whole first week of this year." He laughed. "She is technically new to Karasuno this year. But she's from Miyagi, I've known her since grade school."
        "My babe sensor has been reserved for Kiyoko only recently. Trying to be loyal." He humphed, "You guys a thing?"
       "What? No, no." Narita laughed, "No, we've just been friends for a while. She's helping me get girls to come to the party on Friday."
       Tanaka jumped up with optimism, "Yes! This is going to be the best party of our high school lives!"
       "I hope so." Narita rubbed his neck to try and tame his nerves again.
       "(Y/N).." Tanaka sighed again, "You know who's gonna go nuts when they get a look at her, right?"
       "I know."
———————————-
next
Thank you so much for reading!! Please let me know what you think and keep reading!!
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aghostpost · 6 years
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So glad you are taking requests, I've missed your writing! Would love you to write some smut with Frank as you always include so many kinks. How about one where Frank's been gone for weeks and the reader thinks tonight is going to be just her alone again, so she decides to enjoy some self-loving, Frank turns up and watches her until she realises he's there and smut ensues?! Bonus points if he gets her to taste herself off his fingers/tongue and lots of praise kink!
A/N: I loved this request! I was already writing something similar to this (as far as Frank being gone forever and what not) but I didn’t have an ending, so this worked out great! It’s only slightly different from this request but I think it worked out perfectly. And as much as I tried to chop it down it issssss a bit lengthy hehe whoops. Hope you enjoy~ ♥
The duffle bag slung over his shoulder was heavier than it looked, but I still managed to grab it with both hands to set it beside the apartment door. I looked him up and down while his eyes looked directly past me. He seemed fine. No bleeding, no bruises on his face, or at least no new ones. Seemingly there was not one reason for him to have been avoiding me the last nine days, and judging by the way he refused to make eye contact with me, I’m sure he knew exactly what I was thinking.
I turned and headed back to the kitchen. “Go shower; dinner’s in fifteen.”
I continued stirring the green beans I was preparing as I listened to the shower stream in the bathroom. Suddenly I felt stupid and even angrier for throwing on one of his t-shirts after my shower earlier… For days I was worried sick wondering what the fuck happened to Frank. Where was he? Did he finally get caught? Even worse, was he dead somewhere in an unmarked ditch courtesy of some local mafia chapter? Then I saw him on the news two days ago and saw he was just the same as ever, wreaking havoc and dashing around the city like a mad man. That night I started using that spare key he gave me to come and wait for his return, fuming and ready to let him have it.
But seeing him now, I was dealing with a different kind of anger. It was the kind of anger where words couldn’t even begin to express how upset I was. I saw his face and felt a wave of heat radiate off me and shake through my body.
He was lucky I prepared extra food to have for lunch the next few days. I heard the shower stop running as I pulled the baked chicken from the oven, and moments after placing two prepared plates on an old crate Frank used as a coffee table he walked out of the bedroom still toweling his head. Frank Castle was by no means a salad eater but not only did he need the greens, but I used the moment to be petty because I knew the last thing he’d do was not eat every crumb on that plate. No way he’d risk getting even further on my bad side.
No words were exchanged between us as we ate. I sipped at my third glass of wine; I like to drink while I cook. I bet he’d be thankful knowing the wine was mellowing me out, but of course not entirely.
I reclined against the sofa with my plate in my lap, feet propped up on the crate and ate as I would look at him sitting on the floor. He was hovering over his plate and shoveling food into his mouth like a barbarian; I wonder what his last good meal was… I looked at Max as he made his way over to Frank, looking for a snack and probably glad to see something other than the fifteen-pound bag of kibble Frank left tipped over for him in his absence. I’m surprised he didn’t eat himself into a doggy coma.
I watched as he went to tear a piece of his chicken thigh. “Wow. Wish I got a treat for you leaving me for over a week.” He continued chewing, dropping the meat for Max to catch before giving him a rub. “I didn’t spend all evening in the kitchen to give you half my lunch for the week so you could give it to Max.”
“He’s not allowed any of our food anymore?”
“Sure, if you wanna spoil him rotten and fatten him up.”
“You never had anything to say about it any ot-”
“-Well I have something to say about it tonight. If you want I can just scrape your plate into his bowl?” He said nothing more and also didn’t give Max another bite. “Don’t forget your vegetables,” I said with a tone of warning. He quickly diverted his fork from his mashed potatoes to the salad and picked up a heaping amount, finally looking me directly in the eye as he took a bite. I rolled my eyes and focused on my own food.
It was quiet in the room save for the sounds of forks tapping against the plates and the occasional crunch of a crouton. Once Frank finished, salad and all, he rose and washed his dishes while I scrolled through my cell and continued taking my time with dinner. He stood against the wall leading out of the living room and to the bedroom hallway with his arms folded.
He waited patiently for me to finish, not moving or saying a word.
Because what could he do or say to fix this?
I placed my mess in the sink before pouring one final glass of wine, taking some sips before making my way to the bedroom. As I passed Frank he unfroze himself to take hold of my upper arm before I immediately pulled away. “Don’t.” Without warning he took my wine glass from me before bending and wrapping an arm around my thighs, lifting me from the floor and walking to the bedroom. He set the glass down on the dresser before dropping me flat on my back on the bed.
“Git. Go on, go,” he ordered, shooing Max from the room as he closed the door. This is what he usually did when we were gonna have sex. Max liked getting into bed with us so he made a habit of closing the door before things got heated up.
I rose from the bed and went to go open the door, but his massive form blocked me before I even made it halfway there. We stood there, staring at each other momentarily before I reached for my wine glass. He said nothing as he watched me gulp the entire glass, some of it missing my mouth and running down my neck. Without hesitation he moved forward to wipe the mess away, his eyes not breaking from mine. I turned from his hand and backed up two steps, staring him down before hurling the glass on the corner of the room. It was in that moment I realized a lot of my anger was based off fear.
I had been scared.
“Fuck you.” At those words he began a slow march forward as I walked backwards to the bed. When the back of my legs touched the rickety frame I sat down, watching his steel gaze as he inched closer to me. When he stood before me he dropped to his knees and looked me directly in my eyes. “Did you hear me Frank?” I spoke with bite but there was still a slight slur in my speech. “I said. Fuck. You.”
“I heardja.” Were those the first words he spoke tonight? I couldn’t remember. All I knew was hearing his voice felt like someone had finally turned the lights on in my head. Like I was staring into darkness and suddenly a camera flash went off right in front of my eyes. Suddenly I felt myself turn to stone as his hands reached my hips.
It was always odd to me when he was gentle.
I reacted the only way I knew how: with a slap.
He stared at my waist as his hands rested, but his thumbs moved in slow circles at my hip bones. “Stop it,” I spoke softly, my eyes getting heavy and my head swaying. I sighed and went to pry his hands from me. He simply used the opportunity to intertwine his fingers with mine and pull my body closer to him. “No.” He pressed his nose to the base of my neck and inhaled as he moved upward towards my ear. I was still trying to free my hands but his grip was tight and unwavering; at every movement his hands constricted mine. His stubble grazed my cheek ever so lightly and my eyes snapped shut, my hips suddenly motioning towards the edge of the bed one time to get closer to him. “Let go!” In my head I demanded it but it came out as more of a plea.
He couldn’t win this easily. He couldn’t leave me and have my mind running a mental marathon of the absolute worst series of events and come here and have me any and every way he wanted. I snapped to and while he held my hands, yes, my legs were entirely free. I rose from the bed quickly and he followed, finally releasing his grip to rip his shirt off in record timing. I couldn’t make a run for the door before he was pushing me flat on the bed, body between my legs and hands making quick work of my pajama shorts. I was too busy staring at the cuts and bruises healing on his body; long bandages meant cuts, small squares meant bullet holes. He began slowly rubbing my thighs as he stared at me. I looked back at him for a moment, anger still very present, before deciding to get rid off his jeans. I ripped his belt from the loops and unbuttoned them as I stared back into those obsidian marbles in his head. It wasn’t until I released his zipper that I broke eye contact and pushed him off of me so he could manage the rest.
“I hate you.” The words managed to trip out of my mouth with very little sting, of course because I didn’t mean them. At times yes, I hated how Frank treated me; being left to wonder whether the prick is alive or not for extended periods of time just for him to casually waltz through the door? Didn’t exactly incite warm thoughts about the guy. But did I hate him? No. I should, but I didn’t. All I could think of was how he was the exact opposite of the man my parents would want me to invest any time into. But fuck it. If I was going to be stupid enough to waste my time with Frank the very least I could do was get toe-curling sex while I was at it.
“I hate you,” I repeated as his fully naked form hovered over me like a beast ready to pounce at my slightest movement. He grabbed my arms and pulled me upright to get his beaten up black shirt over my head. My hands flew to the thick curly mess on top of his head and forced him down to me, his mouth hungrily finding my breast. Good thing I was braless; I didn’t have to wait a single second to feel this. While normally my mind would be completely wiped of anything outside of this moment, I still felt anger. More importantly, with him being here now, I realized exactly how much I missed him, and how afraid I was I’d never see him again. “Touch me.”
He trailed his mouth to my neck and pressed just below my ear. “Where?” he growled.
My hands gripped the roots of his hair as I had my first orgasm of the night. I kept quiet as a mouse and my reactions to a minimum; the last thing I needed was Frank bragging and teasing that he could make me cum with his voice alone. I guess I missed him more than I thought. No matter how infuriated I was with him my body wanted what it wanted, and it was always in the mood for some Frank.
God, that was so fucking annoying.
He was still waiting for an answer when I mustered all the strength I could to push him off of me to the foot of the bed. “Jesus Christ.” He stared at me blankly, hesitating briefly before moving to make his way back to me. “No!” I shouted, stilling him instantly. I stared him down as I gathered the flattened excuses for pillows he had and the one good pillow I brought here for when I slept over, propping them up behind me. “You don’t get to do whatever you want with me,” I told him as I reclined, resting my feet on the bed so my legs were propped up, giving him a perfect view of what rested in between. I reached a hand to feel the soaked spot in my panties before pulling them down as best as I could, only managing to free one leg as they dangled around my left knee.
I sighed as the wine hit me like a wave and looked at him as I placed a hand at my wet lips. “You think that’s okay? Making me worry about you like that?” I asked, gently rubbing myself without breaking eye contact with him. I continued that way until I needed more; punishing him was slowly beginning to punish me. “Look at what happens when I miss you,” I teased, slipping my middle finger inside myself while running my left foot delicately up his thigh, then his chest to rest pointedly on his shoulder. “You drive me crazy, you know that?” I felt his body tense slightly under my foot as my eyes fought to stay open.
I watched him, my eyes slack as I pleasured myself. I challenged him to move. I had every right to be upset and find him undeserving of fucking me, no matter how badly we both wanted it. I was a treat, and Frank was deep in the doghouse. But I say this knowing I’ll end up under him before the night was over; like I said, my body wants what it wants. Still, I could milk a docile Frank Castle while the moment lasted. “I… I needed you… Why’d you leave me, Frank?” I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. He shifted forward slightly before I pressed my foot down on his chest, signaling him to stay right where he was. “Sss, what? Didn’t you miss me?” I moaned, my eyes closing as my head rolled back into the stack of pillows behind me.
He lunged for me and this time I didn’t stop him. I was ready, and more importantly than that I needed him. His hand grazed just behind my knee and my back arched as he pulled my panties from around my leg, tossing them behind him. He slowly pulled my hand to replace it with his, which was great because now I could grip the sheets for dear life. His fingers were thicker, and knew what I needed just as much as I did. Hell, they probably knew better. Two fingers filled me as his thumb gently massaged my clit as he leaned forward, his growing facial hair brushing the side of my face. “Lemme show you how much I missed ya.”
I moaned at his words, his voice getting to me again. I reached down with my hands to grab his wrist as he kissed along my jawline. I felt him pulling his hand out, begging him not to and trying to hold it in place with mine until he replaced it with his fully erect cock. “Oh, God,” I mewled, my legs wrapping around his waist instantly as I guided him deeper into me. “Show me. Sss- Please, please show me.” He grabbed my chin before gently rubbing his thumb against my bottom lip.
“Look at me,” he demanded. My eyes managed to open and I saw him staring at my mouth before before his eyes looked into mine. “I’m sorry. I shouldna left you worryin’ the way I did.”
“No. You shouldn’t have.” We stared at each other little longer and that big dumb puppy look on his face warmed my angry heart enough; at least for now. I held the sides of his head, my fingers playing with the thick hair that grew from the buzzcut he had when he left. “Kiss me already.” Instead of obliging he pulled his hand to his lips, taking in his fingers coated in my slickness as he held eye contact with me. “You dirty dog…” He winked before bending down to finally kiss me for the first time in what felt like years. And I knew exactly what he was up to, he was just too afraid to ask; knew he was skating on thin ice with me. I laughed to myself in my head as I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth, still moist with my essence. A deep growl rumbled in him and pushed himself both deeper into the kiss and into me. I released his lip to let out a small cry of pain. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get used to Frank’s full size, but I’d damn sure try every time he wanted. I gripped at the roots of his hair and pulled, my back arching to take in more of him.
“Ya like tastin’ yourself on me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not as much as you like making me do it.”
He cracked a crooked grin. “But yer just so good at it,” he teased, nipping at my neck. “So good at a lotta things.”
I felt my face warm up, partially from the compliments and partially from sheer arousal. “I am?” The question poured softly from my lips.
He pushed himself off the mattress to rest upright on his knees, rough hands grabbing my waist to slowly work his way in and out of me. “Amazin’,” he grunted. “Ya taste how sweet you are?”
“Mmm, like candy.”
“An’ look how good ya take me…” I placed my hands over his, holding them in place as his grip on my waist tightened, the pads of his fingers digging deep into me. He was vocal tonight, more vocal than I’ve ever heard him. I wasn’t complaining at all though, but I never really got complimented much during sex like this. It was making me feel bashful which was foreign for me. “Ya think I didn’t miss this?”
I used my hold on his wrists to pull myself up before slinging my arms around his neck, wrapping around him and burying my face in his neck. “Tell me you missed me,” I begged before I ran a hot tongue on the outer shell of his ear, gently biting it between my front teeth.
“Everyday,” he grunted. I pushed him backwards and rode him for dear life, missing the feeling of being filled to the brim by this man.I stretched my body reaching for my head, and his hands flew to my breasts, roughly palming and squeezing them. “Aren’t you a fuckin’ sight…”
“Sss, fuck, Frank…”
“That’s right, Y/N. Ride it just like that.”
I wanted more. I needed to feel him at full force. I grabbed his hands, interlacing his fingers with mine and allowing him to squeeze them. “I need you.”
“Whaddaya need? Tell me whatcha need.”
“I… I need you t-to fuck me.”
“C’mere,” he ordered, pulling me down to him. Our hands still glued together I outstretched our arms and kissed him with as much passion as I could. He growled lowly into my mouth as my tongue invaded his, bucking his hips and causing me to cry out.
“Shit!”
He never took his mouth from mine as he shot up and forced me into a straddling position. He then lifted me up and turned me around; I got on my hands and knees and grips the sheets to brace myself as best as I could, though I already knew nothing was gonna prepare me for Frank when he was on a mission. I assigned him a task and now he was going to perform and complete it. A burly arm snaked its way around my hip and a hand slid southward, petting my pussy a few times. “My eager girl.”
“Fuck you. Wouldn’t you be eager after nearly two weeks?”
He chuckled to himself. “Who said I ain’t?” he question, slowly inserting himself into me from behind. “I’m eager for ya after two hours.”
“Sss, liar,” whispered through clenched teeth. I spread my legs and bent forward until my tits were planted into the mattress, my back concave and my ass perched to the ceiling. I looked back at him over my shoulder with my eyes at half mast, drunk from both the wine and the overwhelming lust for him, seductively pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. “Make me a believer.”
And after only a few minutes he did exactly that. I looked over an noticed the bedroom window was cracked, but unfortunately I couldn’t shut my mouth or even attempt to lower my volume. I wonder if this would be the time that my neighbors would complain, but even the prospect of that couldn’t stop me. Things only worsened when he pulled my arms behind me and gripped at the elbows, forcing me to damn near fold as my back concaved even deeper. “Jesus Christ!” He continued that way for a bit before snaking his arms around me, running over my stomach, in between my breasts, and hand at the base of my neck. His touch exploring me felt like a lake of lava running all over me and leaving a smoking trail of black ash in its wake. ”Sss, ah! Oh… G-God, help me,” I rushed in one hot breath.
“Ya feel that?” he grunted as he bent beside me to speak into my ear.
“Yes!”
“Ya like that?”
“I love it, I love it- Ss, fuck me, I love it!”
“I betcha do. Listen to ya,” he spoke too many octaves too low before leaning back to slap my ass. I cried out even louder than I had already been which I didn’t even think possible. “Lemme hear ya,” he demanded, slapping my ass again. “Ya still love it?”
“Yes!”
“Can’t hear ya.”
“Ah! Sss, I love it, Frank. Fuck- Yes yes yes!”
“Nasty girl…” He began fucking me like a wild beast, grunting and growling deep with each stroke. His firm hand held my neck as he pulled my back to his chest, his other arm around my waist. He pulled my head backwards and moved directly next to my ear. “A very good girl, but a nasty one.”
“Oh, fu… Fuck!” My hand flew to my pussy to rub the orgasm outta me as soon as I could, since I couldn’t imagine going like this any longer before I snapped in half. I felt like I was going to pass out as overwhelmed as I was, and for the life of me couldn’t remember what I was even upset with this man over. “I-I can’t-”
“-What can’t ya do? Hm?”
“I’m gonna cum!”
He forced me to make eye contact with him, his grasp still firm around my neck. “So beautiful… comin’ from that pretty lil’ mouth.”
My hand left my clit and flew to his hair, clenching at he dark, thick curls and pulling him to me for a kiss. Well, if you wanted to call that. It was more of me trying to drain him for every drop that was in him, and him exorcising one of the top three orgasms I’ve ever had from my body. His tongue overpowered mine as my whole body turned to jelly. I tried desperately to get away from him and his overwhelming touch, but he held me tight and close to his body for a few final pumps before climaxing himself. He collapsed on top of me, his breathing like he just ran a marathon, my arms sprawled on the mattress and my face turned to the side to avoid suffocating.
We remained silent and catching our breath momentarily. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound of cars outside, late night drunks leaving the bar a block away, Frank’s breathing. Finally he rolled off of me, walking into the bathroom to relieve himself and wash up; this was his routine and he never veered off from it even once. I sighed and did the same, walking past him to grab the baby wipes I kept under the sink to clean myself up. We caught each other’s eye in the mirror above the sink and held in smirks, no one saying a word to the other.
Once we were all clean and for the most part clothed, at least we put our underwear back on, Frank returned to bed on his back with an arm outstretched for me to rest my head on as I lay next to him. I liked more than anything that Frank and I could have comfortable silence. But we didn’t remain that way long; there was only one thing I needed to say before our night ended with well deserved recuperation sleep. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
“What? The sex?”
I rolled at my eyes and looked up at him, waiting for him to meet my gaze. “Frank…  If this happens again-”
“-Alright alright, c’mon now- We don’t gotta make threats, hm? I hear ya.”
“I’m serious. Frank?” He sighed and tried to turn his head back to the ceiling but I redirected him to look at me again. “Never again.”
He stared at me, not a tone of playfulness in my eyes, and nodded his head. “I’m so-”
“-Ah ah… Never. Again.”
“Ya got my word.”
“I wanna hear you say it.”
“Never again.”
We stared a moment longer before I gave him a smile and a kiss on the jaw; soft, nothing that would get us going for a round two.”You better not. Don’t think I’d take Max if you disappear either, my place doesn’t allow dogs.”
He huffed a small laugh through his nose. “Let me in there just fine.”
I rolled my eyes. I always hated when he talked down on himself. “Shut up and go to bed.”
He grinned to himself and got comfortable, closing his eyes with an arm still situated around me shoulders. “Yes, ma’am.”
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crestfalien · 2 years
Text
Pregnancy Craving
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15 September 2022.
It’s been a while since they spent their time together and Fransesca was beyond blessed to know that they’re going to spend a day together at home along with Christine as well. Yes, she missed the warmth of her family after being busy at work all the time. Her work at the university indeed, kept her away from all the family matters for the past weeks.
For Clayton, it’s a good thing to see her home after those busy days. At least, he could spend some time with the woman he truly loved and their baby, growing inside her tummy for weeks already. He’s more than happy to be able to assist her in every single thing that she needs at home, including pregnancy craving, the one thing she had never experienced back then.
“Love,” she called him softly as she opened her eyes, still on the bed after a deep sleep for the whole night. “Can I ask for something?” Fransesca asked the man. Clayton could be seen still asleep right next to her, under the blanket, covering himself from head to toe while hugging the bolster pillow, something they both couldn’t live without.
“Hmm?”
“I want to eat wonton.” “Out of nowhere?” “Uhm.. yes.”
Clayton sighed as he heard the request slipped from her lips. He kicked the blanket a bit so it would come lower, showing his face to the woman and rubbed it with both of his hands to wake him up from the deep sleep he just had. “Do you want the noodles as well? I’ll make a wonton noodle soup instead then.” he told her.
Fransesca nodded her head. “Yes, with the noodles too. Make more for the noodles. I’m craving one badly.” she answered as she gave him a kiss on the lips and a smile curved after. “Anything for my queen, then. I’m willing to do anything for my beloved wife.” he said as he smiled at her and stretched his body, cracking some of his bones.
“Give me more kisses!” he requested.
Lovey dovey just like always, she kissed him again and again on the lips, on the cheeks, on the nose, on the eyes, everywhere. Giving each other the kind of affections they loved to share in between. Fransesca was very happy to be able to marry the man she’ll forever be devoted to. The man who loves her is the same as sixteen years ago, though stories in between differ due to some people involved in it.
The same went to Clayton as well; he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He felt blessed and grateful to be able to reunite with the woman after all those years of misunderstandings and miscommunications. He felt grateful to be able to wake up to her each morning, kiss her, talk to her, and to marry her. Making the woman as his only one, alongside their daughter, Christine. This was his dream to be able to enjoy the joy of a family of his own. To be able to be with the two people he loved the most in his life. Everything came true and he couldn’t thank God enough for all His blessings and plans, for the kindness He gave to him and to her, to this little family he’ll be forever in love with.
“Let’s have wonton for lunch then? I’ll tell the maids to buy the ingredients first. I’m pretty sure we don’t really have all the ingredients needed. Anything that you also crave for, sweetheart?” Clayton asked as he caressed her gently, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers. “No. Only wonton soup with the noodle, Clayton. I've been really craving for one since last night.” she said.
“Why don’t you tell me then? I could stay up all night to make one so you can have it for breakfast instead, Fransesca.” he asked. “Well, I know that you’re tired and you should have some good sleep after those busy days at work. So, I decided to tell you when you’re awake in the morning.” Fransesca said as she gave him a smile on her face. “You can always tell me all the time. I have no problem staying up all night just to cook you the best wonton if that’s what you and our little one craves for, sweetheart. Besides, it’s you that keeps on being busy at work and is nowhere to be seen at home. You should be the one who rests and sleeps more at home. Okay?” Clayton responded.
“Promise me that you’ll tell me directly, anytime and anywhere, if you crave for something. I’ll find it or make one for you.”
Fransesca smiled at him as she nodded her head as a response to him. “Yes, I promise, love. I promise to tell you whatever I want.” she said to the man softly. Clayton couldn’t help but to hug her tight while he rubbed her belly carefully. “I can’t wait to meet the baby. I can’t wait to see my second one. I never thought that I would feel this way, I would be able to experience the joy of expecting another child.” Clayton told her honestly.
The woman giggled. “Enjoy the moment while it lasts, Clayton.” Fransesca said to the man, letting him know that this pregnancy would only last for nine months so really needs to cherish every moment of it. Every moment of their second child’s growth.
“We haven’t told Christine yet about the soon-to-come younger sibling.” “Ah.. right. We haven’t told our daughter about it.”
The two suddenly realized that their eldest and only child, as now, had no idea that Fransesca was currently expecting a child she has always wanted to have. A sibling she always asked her father for after their marriage. Christine didn’t have a single idea towards the pregnancy so far and they’ve never talked about it in front of her either.
It’s not that they’re trying to hide the pregnancy for her, they just… it happens. It’s just they never got to talk about the baby or the pregnancy around Triple C and they had no idea on how they should deliver the news to Christine as well. She would be delighted for sure, but Christine would show her worries towards her mother’s condition as well as age.
Not to mention that Clayton once talked about the matter to Christine: about the possibilities, chances, and the risks that followed if Fransesca got pregnant, which actually came true. “Let’s find a time to talk about it to Christine. We need to talk about her high school matters as well, sweetheart. We’re not done with that discussion either.”
A sigh slipped from her lips as she was reminded by the unfinished discussion regarding Christine’s wish to study high school abroad at the most expensive high school ever in the whole world; La Rosey. The school that was located far away in Switzerland.
“Let’s talk about it later after the wonton. Now, please get out of the bed and prepare it for me, Chef Clayton Kingsley. I’m dying for one.”
Clayton smiled and nodded his head. “Will do, my queen.”
END OF PREGNANCY CRAVING.
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runicmagitek · 7 years
Note
Hello there! Thank you for taking the time to read this. I've long been an admirer of your work. I was wondering if you had any advice on writing? Especially for someone just new to writing? Or, like, in regards to outlining stories?
Why can’t I give hugs through the internet why. Thank you so much for such sweet words and I apologize for the wait. I spent the past couple of days concocting some writing advice for you and it turned into a thing. Hope it’s worth the wait!
I want to preface this: below is my writing process. It works for me. It may not work for all writers and I highly encourage others to figure out what does work for them. It took me several years to come to this conclusion, so don’t be discouraged if everything doesn’t click for you. Writing takes time to develop and we all learn and create differently. Try things out and see if it’s beneficial.
Also, while I know you asked specifically for writing and outlining tips for beginners, I am including editing tips. A lot of people might view writing and editing in a different light, but I believe that they go hand-in-hand; getting used to editing will help you become a better writer and vice versa. I know countless people who bang out stories and then let the drafts collect dust, because editing is daunting.
Lastly, a massive shout-out to my partner-in-crime, beta reader, and braintwin—Amie @wingsyouburn . She helped contribute to and refine this and is also a brilliant writer and has helped me become the writer I am today. Endless thanks to you, bb!
On that note, let’s jump right into this.
OUTLINING
I can’t write without some vague idea of where I’m going. It’s like having a map with you on a road trip; you might deviate from your route along the way due to pit stops or traffic or simply wanting to go the scenic route, but you at least know where your end goal is. And it can vary depending on what you’re writing. If I have a oneshot idea, maybe I jot down a sentence or two about the plot, usually with a “problem” and then a “conclusion”. For example: Character A is doubting herself and decides to vent to Character B, who offers comfort and kisses. Sometimes I jot these down if I have an idea hits me at work or in line at a café. You can always refer back to it later on. Filling in the blanks of said outline is where the fun of writing comes in!
Even for my drabbles, I will write very brief sentences of what I imagine would happen. It helps me stay concise and stick to that main point instead of meandering.
For longer pieces, I try to write out each scene I want to include. Some people I know do this by writing on notecards. I used to make a bullet list, but now I use Scrivener to map outlines. With a bullet list, you can do it like this:
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Scene 4
It doesn’t need to be extremely thorough. Just get those ideas out of your head and onto paper. You can always go back and switch up the order later and if you don’t entirely know what would happen in a scene, but for example, you know the end result? You can easily write something like, “a bunch of shit hits the fan and then the gang run off into the sunset.” Maybe when you start writing, you’ll have a better idea of what shit hitting the fan includes. And when you do figure it out, go back to your outline and make a bullet under that particular scene with the details. I’ve done this plenty of times. Hell, I have an outline for a 200k story I did where the last 1/3 of the outline just never happened in my draft. A better idea came along and I went with that. And that’s ok!
Your outline is there to help you and not hurt you. It’s flexible and bare minimum, when you’re done with a story, you can look back on it and see how much you’ve evolved since your initial idea.
WRITING
Consume art. Read. Read some more. Keep reading. Watch a movie. Go to a museum. Take a walk at the park. Listen to music. So many things inspire people and the tiniest instances can spark an idea for a story. Always be open to them. Figure out what you love and what you don’t. Consume both of those. Inspiration can come even from genres we don’t particularly like. Don’t be afraid of something new. When I was in art school, we were required to take non-major studio classes. I ended up in a weaving class, filled with other textile students when all I ever knew was graphic design. I learned a tremendous amount in that semester to carry over into my graphic design work and I’m sure my peers learned a lot from me, too. That concept carries over into so many creative fields. Embrace that.
Also, if you’re the type that benefits from reading books about writing, here are some A+ resources:
On Writing by Stephen King
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury
Take care of yourself first. This tip simultaneously has nothing and everything to do with writing. For me, I have a handful of health issues. I work a full-time job. I have a ton of other hobbies that eat up my time. Before I write, I need to make sure I’m doing well before I even bother to sit in front of my laptop. I can’t be overly stressed out or in pain or distracted. Sometimes you need to calm down and relax and not write. I can’t focus otherwise and the few times I did write when I clearly shouldn’t have? It was evident in my writing and thus triple the amount of editing work. I know it’s stressful not being able to write. Trust me… I’ve been there numerous times. But I believe that in the long run, you’ll be happier with yourself and your writing if you learn to treat yourself with respect and not beat yourself up when you’re unable to write every waking minute.
Set times to write and then do it. Some people might have inspiration strike them and that’s the only time they write. Yes, that can be helpful, but there’s also something to be said about developing a schedule and sticking to it, even if you’re not motivated. So you’ve done everything mentioned above: your tummy’s full, no one is around to bother you, you got a delicious cup of something beside you, it’s your favorite weather outside, and you’re in your favorite chair. But you’re staring at your monitor and just… uuuuuugh you don’t feel motivated. You know what? Fuck it. Just write. Write something. Anything. 75% of my writing was done out of the sheer willpower. Write! Even if it’s a page, so what?! That’s a page more than what you initially started out with! Squeezing in some scribbles on your lunch break every day can add up by the end of the week. Those 30 minute sessions are suddenly 2 ½ hours!
Again during my art school days, I would be up until 4am trying to do 40 posters in time for the morning’s critique and I’d be on those last 3 poster designs and I was tired with no inspiration and ran out of fucks at 11pm, but I pushed through. You know what? My teachers and peers alike loved those 3 designs I did at fuck-this-shit o’clock. I’m serious. Every single time.
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Start writing and never look back. This is your time to write. Not to edit, not to try and craft the perfect sentence Of All Time. You’re writing. You are word vomiting whatever nonsense is in your head. It’s a first draft. It’s going to be messy. It’s probably going to be shit. Who the hell cares? That doesn’t mean you or your writing is shit. Everybody, even the most seasoned writer, doesn’t write a perfect first draft and you can’t fix what isn’t written. So write, write, write! Smack your inner editor each time it tells you to go back and edit a paragraph. Disable your wifi if you think you’ll get distracted. For me, I put on some quiet, ambient music to drown out the world and go into Scrivener’s full-screen mode. I highly recommend checking libraries in your area if you want some quiet time. The librarians are also way more than happy to show you where designated quiet/study areas are if you’re not sure.
Write what YOU want to write about. Don’t write something just because it’s popular and that’s what everyone else is doing. Do it for yourself first and foremost. It doesn’t need to be for everyone, but let it be for you. It will show tremendously in your writing if you’re excited about a thing. Likewise, it’s beyond evident if you’re bored with a scene in your story. Write about what excites you and I promise your writing will display that excitement. On the same note, if you’re stuck on a scene and just don’t know what to do with it, move along. Maybe that scene isn’t needed. Skip to the next, more interesting thing. Write the story you want to read.
Incorporate your experiences. The expression “write what you know” gets tossed around with the assumption that people will go, “Ooooooh, yeah that makes sense.” Think on all your life experiences and draw upon them. You may not be the commanding officer of a prestigious military, but maybe you’ve been in a group project in school where someone needed to step up as leader in order to get shit done in time for the oral presentation. Remember your emotions during times of struggle, elation, anger, and sadness. Channel it into your writing.  
Write in chronological order. Some people have mastered the art of writing that one middle scene they’re super stoked about or writing random scenes out of time and then stitching it together later. I am not one of those people. For a beginner, it might be less daunting to write everything in chronological order. That way you can build up things like character development/growth and tension and so forth in a natural way via passing time. If you start writing a scene where the main pairing finally kiss, but don’t write the ten chapters leading up to that, it’s a lot more difficult to flesh out all that tension in one scene when you hadn’t written it yet. I’m also of the opinion that it’s better to write all the things before that One Scene you’re giddy about; it can speed up the writing process because you want to arrive at that One Scene, so hey, anything to motivate you, ya know?
EDITING
After I wrote my first novel draft after years of not writing, I had this massive feeling of, “…shit, now what?” For every single guide to editing, there’s a hundred more for writing. Editing is an extremely personal process. It took me over two years before I became comfortable with editing my own work. Let’s be honest – it’s terrifying. And I wish there was a more concise guide about it when I first started, so hopefully this helps.
I edit in rounds. My first round involves just reading, no editing. I keep a journal to take notes, mostly plot, characterization, redundancies, and cuts/additions I’d want to make. My second round combs through it to fix those bigger problems along with any glaring grammar/spelling errors and mild line edits. I will send it to a beta to read after that for additional commentary/suggestions. My third round addresses all of that on top of hardcore line edits—I want every damn sentence to be the best version of that sentence ever. One more time it goes back to the beta to nitpick the hell out of it. And my last round is spent reading what I wrote out loud. If my tongue trips over anything, I change it. Apply some spit and polish, give it some lunch and a backpack, and then off to AO3 it goes to make some new friends.
Maybe you edit in less or more rounds. Maybe you have more rounds of sending content to beta readers. Maybe you need to rewrite the whole thing three times before it ever sees a beta reader. Do what feels good to you. Only you will be able to figure it out and you won’t know until you try. I promise once you get your feet wet and test it out, you’ll feel more confident about your writing over time.
Here are some more specific tips that no one ever bothered to tell me until after the fact. These might be overwhelming for a beginner, so don’t feel the need to master these immediately. Take it one step at a time and try them when you are comfortable doing so.
Walk away from it. After finishing a first draft, let it sit. Go do something else and forget about your draft. For oneshots, I’ll go back to it after a week. For longer pieces, anywhere between 2-4 weeks. Returning to a draft with rested eyes and a fresh mind will only benefit you in the editing process. You’re still two inches away from your work when you finish the first draft. Walk away from it, come back, and then you can see more, whether it be the strong points or the holes.
Describe what is happening, not how something looks/sounds/feels. I’m sure you’ve heard of “show, don’t tell.” First off, fuck that noise when writing the first draft. Tell to your heart’s content if it means getting it on the damn page. Second off, sometimes telling can be helpful. That’s up to you to decide if it’s beneficial or harmful to your story. I typically go about “show, don’t tell” in the editing phase. Now most people will give this advice and not further explain. So here’s an example:
She was mad at him for once again not doing the dishes.
That’s not a terrible sentence. Though it to make it pack more oomph, take a step back and think. When you’re mad, what do you do? Are you clenching your jaw? Are you grumbling to yourself? Is a headache forming? And when you imagine dishes not done, what does that look like to you? Is it flies swarming around a sink? Is it overflowing from the sink? Is the sponge sitting in five day old water and reeking of mold? Is there a broken dish on the floor because a cat decided to knock it off from the stack of twenty uncleaned dishes? With that in mind, the sentence can possibly be rewritten like this:
Countless plates and silverware wobbled on one another, each encrusted with a previous night’s dinner. She drew a breath, balled up her fists, and glared at him. “Really? I gave you one job.”
Find your descriptions that are comprised of the character feeling or seeing or hearing something and reword them. Breathe life into your words. Make them paintings. I know, it’s not easy. It might even break your brain a little (mine did when I first gave this a serious go), but it will make you think differently and your writing can only grow from that.
Rephrase weaker words. I once had this assignment back in high school where we were given a hundred sentences, each one with “get” in the mix, and we had to rewrite all of them with a unique word replacing “get”. Find words like “get” and forms of “to be” and replace them with stronger words. Something like he got out of bed can turn into he rose out of bed or he jumped out of bed or he slumped out of bed. It rids the sentence of something weak and is more descriptive of what’s going on.
Another thing to look out for are verbs ending in “-ing”. She started walking over or she was walking on over aren’t as direct as she walked over. Trimming out instances like this help make the action more immediate instead of feeling like it’s going or starting or beginning to happen. Just let it happen!
Adverbs are another instance that people will suggest to cut out. They’re at least easy to find (most end in –ly) and when you do spot them, ask yourself this: is there a better word to sum up what I’m trying to express? Something like she said quietly can be she whispered or she murmured or she mumbled. Or something like they ran quickly can be they rushed or they sprinted or they booked it. These all can help get a better idea of what is going on. Plus it can help strengthen your vocabulary by searching for more ideal words!
If your vocab is shaky or you just can’t pinpoint something better, here’s a resource I use all the time. Just remember: always double check the definition of the word to make sure it fits instead of spinning the thesaurus wheel and picking at random.
Lastly, don’t feel the need to go on a witch hunt to purge your story of all of these things. Sometimes it’s best to keep that use of “to be” or that adverb, because there isn’t something better to convey what you’re describing or it distorts the flow of the narrative. And that’s completely okay. It takes time to figure this out.
Cut out redundancies. I tend to overwrite in my first drafts. Editing is where I bust out my figurative chainsaw and kill the extra nonsense. Is there a phrase you keep using over and over? Kill it. Is there a section you read that just bores you to tears? Kill it. Is there a sentence that is proceeded by a paragraph that rephrases that exact sentiment four times? Kill it. Is the process of something we as human beings understand, like opening a door, a three-sentence-long affair? Kill it.
I love poetics in stories and sometimes it can get out of hand. The more concise you are in your delivery, the clearer of a picture you will paint for the readers and the smoother the overall pacing will be.
Never delete. So with all of that in mind, please, for the love of tea and chocolate, never ever delete your work. Doesn’t matter if it’s a conversion from a first to second draft or if you end up hating it, don’t delete it. You never know if you’ll return to it five years down the road or you need to refer back to something from your initial draft when you’re on your third wave of revisions. I keep a folder dedicated to all of my writing on my laptop, which is also backed up to Dropbox. In Scrivener, you can take snapshots of your work for each new draft you start and can always revert back to older snapshots. There’s also an actual editing mode in it, but I believe it’s exclusive to Mac OS. Or if you’re using something simple like Word or Google Docs, make new documents and title them based off of your drafts. Another thing to consider is making a document strictly for lines you love but weren’t able to include in the final version. Don’t get rid of them – keep them. Maybe you revisit it and find a new story for it to fit in or perhaps that lovely line of yours sparks a new story to write. You won’t know if you delete your work.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
Make writer friends. Writing is a solitary activity (well, not unless a pet decides to keep you company, but anyways). Having friends who are also writers or even enthusiastic about writing are a blessing. Bounce ideas off of them or vent to them when you hit a brick wall. Maybe said friends will turn into beta readers when you wish to cross that road. My recent writer friends are people I chatted with on comments with fics, either my own works or their stories. You don’t need to be friends with an entire fandom; find those you resonate with. I’m sure they’ll love gushing about things as much as you do.
And if you ever converse with someone who acts above you and everyone else in regards to writing? Fuck ‘em. They are not and never will be worth your time or anyone else’s.
Keep writing. Like any form of art, writing’s a craft and it will only improve the more you devote time to it. There’s always room for growth. Be humble. Accept change. Allow yourself to learn. I guarantee you that your writing will change for the better in the span of a year if you keep at it. Don’t worry about it being perfect or if it’s telling the “same story” someone else has written—you haven’t written your version of it. You haven’t added your personal touches and experiences and insights to it. Think of how many times Romeo and Juliet has been done in storytelling. People eat it up. To use the cake analogy, you might feel like you’re bringing another cake to the party when there’s already one, but others look at it and go, “FUCK YEAH TWO CAKES!” Lastly, I’ll leave you with a quote from the eternally badass Carrie Fisher, “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”
You got this, anon. I believe in you.
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choisgirls · 7 years
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so, requests are kind of open? sweet. if you do male mc requests, could i get a request for the rfa realizing that they've fallen for another man? i've tried asking other blogs and nobody has done it and i just kinda want validation right now lmao thanks xx
A/N: I usually try tomake the MC gender neutral but sometimes it’s difficult (such as when therequest specifically has to do with a female!MC) so I’m sorry if that’s everbothered you! ;A; I’ll try my best for you! ^^ ~Admin 404
*YOOSUNG:
               -He’s always talked aboutgetting a girlfriend in the chatroom
               -Girlfriend this, girlfriendthat, girl girl girl
               -He didn’t even stop to think,‘hey, maybe it doesn’t have to be a girl’
               -And that frustrated you.
               -Sure, you’re obviouslyunderstanding and accepting of other’s sexual orientations
               -But you’re just saltybecause he doesn’t even notice?? That you’re like??? Completely in love withhim??
               -You drop hints all the time buthe just thinks you’re being friendly?
               -Like, ‘Oh, haha, MC you’re mynewfound best friend!’
               -Stop doing that to me Yoosung, if you don’t return my feelings at leastacknowledge them
               -You spend day after day playingvideo games with him, just wanting to spend time with him
               -Until one day you decided totake the night off, and he had to play alone
               -He immediately realized thatthe game just wasn’t the same unless you were playing along with him
               -Not even his other in-gamefriends could make it fun for him- he was at a complete loss
               -He tried to get a hold of youmost of the night but you wouldn’t answer the phone
               -There was this weird feeling inhis chest every time he would call and get your voicemail, he couldn’t explainit
               -Maybe it was just because hewas concerned for your well being? No, that wasn’t it. It wasn’t a fearful kindof feeling..
               -When you finally picked up thephone and he heard your voice, that’s when it hit him
               -This feeling was him missingyou. He wanted to talk to no one else but you. He’s literally ignored everygirl that’s talked to him since the day he met you. He would get a sinkingfeeling in his stomach if he heard you calling any other man cute and couldn’texplain it
               -With his knowledge (gainedsolely from dating sims and movies) he came to the realization that wow he didn’t care about getting agirlfriend. He cared about you.
               -“Yoosung? Hellooooo? Areyou okay? You’ve called me like 27 times. Is everything alri-”
               -“I love you, MC”
*ZEN:
               -Ah, yes, Mr. Steal Yo Girl™
               -You could say you fell for his naturalcharm from the beginning
               -Or… you could tell the truththat you practically just jumped off a fucking cliff into your love for him
               -He was just! So! Beautiful!Inside and out!
               -But why?? Was his fanbasemainly made of women??
               -There were some fanboysscattered about but you were still feeling a little under-represented
               -So you decided that you had tolet him know how much of a fan you are! (Not to mention how much youpractically just wanna jump his bones because you love him so much)
               -Always bringing him flowers,making and making him homemade lunches/dinners
               -Not to mention the two of youalways hang out whenever you can! Movies, going for a ride on his motorbike,anything you can do together, you do
               -“It’s almost like we’redating, haha!” yes Zen, that is thep o i n t
               -He started to see that ahandful of his fans began shipping the two of you and editing the selfies hehad posted to add hearts and things
               -He giggled every single timeand he would send you the pictures because he thought they were adorable!
               -Sometimes when the two of youwent out, some girls would run up and ask to take pictures- he was always readybut when they handed him the camera he was so lost??? Like they only wanted apicture with you because you’re totally cute
               -He would pout s o h a r d everytime it happened, he would practically cling to you for hours afterwards
               -One day he was waiting for youwhen he was just scrolling through one of his fan websites, when he saw apicture of you with a girl- She was fangirling and saying all these cute thingsabout you
               -He could feel his blood startto boil and he couldn’t explain why? He wasn’t jealous that you were beingpraised by his fans instead of him- hell he praises you all the time..
               -That was it! He praises you allthe time! He talks about you like his fans talk about him! How the hellcouldn’t he see it before? He always looked forward to seeing your smile, orfelt his heart flutter when you would wrap your arms around him while the twoof you went for late night rides
               -So he was a womanizer in thepast, that didn’t matter now, did it? It was completely possible for him tofall for a man- especially a man like you. You always support his decisions andpassion, it was practically impossible for him not to fall for you
               -He watched as you walkedtowards him, throwing him that bright smile that he melted his heart; he can’tbelieve he couldn’t see before.
               -“Heya Zen! Where are weoff to today?” You tilted your head slightly to the side in confusion whenhe grabbed your hand, bringing it to his lips to place a small kiss on it
               -He watched you as a blushcrawled up your face, waiting a moment before pulling his lips away
               -“Well, my prince, I’vedecided, quite recently in fact, that it’s high time we have our first actualdate, are you ready?”
*JAEHEE:
I’m not going to doJaehee since she was canonically into men (until female!mc came along and theChristmas DLC and all;;;) and Idk, I just feel it doesn’t fit this prompt? I’msoRRY
*JUMIN:
               -He isn’t the type to showemotions in the first place
               -But you start to notice thathe’s more chatty towards you over time?
               -Not like you’re complaining, ofcourse.
               -A chance to potentially getcloser to Jumin Han? Don’t mind if I do
               -After quite a while of talking(he would even call you at night to talk to you before bed!) he took it uponhimself to invite you over for a drink or two
               -He never thought anything aboutthe relationship the two of you shared, though
               -Figured it was similar to therelationship he and V shared
               -Though he did note that hetended to be a little more open to you than he has with V
               -He deemed your personality tobe a little more open and less secretive than V’s and he left it at that
               -It was really hard for him tonotice any sort of difference in his feelings for your because he was so set inhis ways
               -Always distant with women, sohe never notice himself completely shutting down the idea of having a wife or agirlfriend
               -He did notice, however, that hefound a scowl on his face quite often when a woman is draping herself over you,touching you absolutely anywhere
               -It gets him so worked up, inmultiple different ways
               -First, he can’t figure out whyhe gets so angry- his thoughts have gotten somewhat harsh at times, where hewants to push the woman away, or tear her hands off of you… but he’d neveract on those thoughts
               -Second, he can’t wrap his headaround why he… recreates the scene in his own mind, but puts himself in yourplace and you in the woman’s. Was it just a random thought? Did it meananything?
               -One night, after a long anddeep conversation about how the human mind works and a little too much wine forthe both of you, he looked deep into your eyes and completely got lost in them.He couldn’t hear you talking at all, but he could see the different levels ofpassion and emotions in them and he was fascinated
               -He thought aloud about thethings he’d been experiencing, the thoughts about you, and how he wondered whatit all meant- causing you to stop in your tracks
               -“I can see ever littlechange of emotion in your eyes, but there’s one I haven’t been able to figureout. Come here,” he said, lightly grabbing the side of your face andcoaxing you into leaning towards his face before he placed a quick peck to yourlips, watching your eyes change the whole time
               -“Ah, I see. That must belove… that must be what I look like as well- interesting.”
*SAEYOUNG:
               -Falling for a male wasn’tanything new for our dear love, Saeyoung
               -Expressing those feelings iswhat was difficult for him
               -He didn’t even realize at firstthat he may have had feelings for you
               -Treated you no different thanhe treats Yoosung-
               -Always joking around, always playingpranks
               -Every now and then he catcheshimself opening up and telling you personal things like his emotions or partsof his past and it t h r o w s h i m o f f
               -He used to try and catchhimself but after a while it came so naturally that he didn’t even notice it? Butyou sure did
               -Instead of kind of secludinghimself to his house, he would go out to shops and restaurants with you all thetime!
               -His favourite thing to do waslet you pick out one of his babies and he’d take you out for a drive. A lot ofthe time the two of you would be gone for hours and honestly everyone else inthe group thought the two of you had snuck off to do the frick frack
               -He finds himself always leaningin towards your face when the two of you are talking
               -When he gets really excited, hegrabs your hand and takes you towards the source of his happiness, oftenforgetting to let go of your hand- so the two of you walk around with eachother’s hands
               -Even buys the two of you a tonof adorable matching things, like sunglasses and shirts
               - matching heelies
               -One day, everyone was hangingout and simply just having a nice lunch, when Saeyoung straight stole the biteof food you were about to put in your mouth
               -“Saeyoung! I was about toeat that, you jerk!”
               -“I’m sorry! Here, I’ll letyou taste it,” with that, he leaned over and kissed you softly, literallyeveryone’s eyes were on the two of you
               -It was only after he backedaway and noticed the stares did he realize what he did
               -“I-I swear! It feltnatural, like the right thing to do at the time! MC I didn’t even think, I’msorry, I-”
               -You had to cut the idiot offwith another kiss or he’d keep rambling and rambling on. Everyone in the groupwas so happy for the two of you! Saeran couldn’t stop saying 'finally’ underhis breath for the rest of the day
*V:
               - honestly i think he’d bethe chillest of them all
               -He’s just a huge advocate fortrue love, okay?
               -If he loves a woman, then so beit. If he loves a man, again, so be it.
               -He’s a very relaxed andtrusting person so getting close to you was natural
               -Would constantly call you lateat night when he couldn’t sleep just so the two of you could talk about theworld, your fears, and what you guys wish you could do over
               -You were always the firstperson to every gallery of his, and always the last to leave
               -He would spend hours at a timetalking to you about every picture he’s taken- pointing out key elements andexpressing to you how each detail makes him feel
               -After a while, he decided youwould be a great person to go on photography trips with, because you had a keeneye, and immense passion!
               -So, the next trip abroad, hebrought you along!
               -Loved seeing how excited youwere to see the sights! Every time you saw something you thought was beautifulor amazing, your eyes would shine and your entire face would light up
               -As he sat in his hotel room,waiting for you to join him before leaving for the airport at the end of thetrip, he took it upon himself to look through his camera
               -But he quickly realized that itwas almost all pictures of you
               -Your smile, how you tilted yourhead in confusion at things, even one where you looked like a chipmunk becauseyou stuffed a ton of food into your mouth at once
               -He knew exactly what he feltwhen he saw these pictures of you, he felt it before with Rika- only this timeit felt natural, pure, and right
               -You knocked on the door andwaited for him to answer. “V? Are you ready to go? It would be terrible ifwe missed our flight!”
               -The door opened and you noticedhis camera in his hand, he ushered you into his room.
               -“Yes, I’m just about ready.I just have to get one more picture before we go.”
               -You tilted your head slightlyand watched as a smile spread across his face. “A picture of what? Ithought you’ve already gotten great pictures of the view from your roo-”
               -You were cut off by him placinghis lips softly against yours, your eyes fluttered shut and the loud click ofthe camera capturing the moment was the only thing that could be heard overyour pounding heart
*SAERAN:
               -It would take him the longesttime to realize he had any sort of emotional attachment to you
               -He actually talked to yourather than, say, Saeyoung
               -When you would come over tovisit, he would sit with you on the couch in silence until Saeyoung come out,then he’d get mad and leave
               -Would scoot closer to you eachtime, hoping you wouldn’t notice.
               -Couldn’t help it?? There wassomething about you that felt… comforting- something he hasn’t felt in a verylong time
               -One day, he came and sat rightnext to you, letting you watch as he played a game on his handheld
               -At first, he would ignore youand make faces when you told him to do something, but after a while he realizedyou were right and would do as you said
               -Now, every time he got stuck ina game, he would show up at your door and just shove the system into your hand
               -He’d watch you play over yourshoulder, getting close to you and not even realizing it
               -Once, he hugged you from behindand rested his chin on your shoulder because it took such a long time for youto beat the level he was stuck on. You didn’t say anything about it thoughbecause you didn’t want him to stop
               -YOU NOTICED THAT HE LIKED YOUBEFORE HE EVEN NOTICED AND LEMME TELL YOU HOW
               -He offered you half of his icecream. Half of it. Not even a spoonful. Half.
               -You took a direct hit to theheart, and from then on you had to remind yourself to tread lightly because youknew he was still new with these kind of feelings
               -Every time he would quietlygrab your hand to show you something you had to fight a blush, and fight evenharder when he didn’t remember to let go
               -He brought his game to you onceagain and when you handed it back, he kissed the side of your head softly andthrew a, “Thanks, love you” over his shoulder when he left the room-you were left sitting there completely red in the face
               -Suddenly, you heard runningback towards the room you were in, followed by a hand gripping the doorwaytightly to stop himself from sliding
               -He looked at you with wide eyesand a crimson red face- he practically looked like a deer in the headlights
               -His mouth kept opening andclosing as he tried to find words to say, and you just stared at him
               -Finally he threw his hands upand started to walk back down the hall
               -“Fuck it,” he calledout, “You heard what I said. I’m not taking it back”
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timeforgodyagm · 5 years
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Hey everyone! It has been actual months (and actually, probably half a year by now, geez) since my last post. I've had a few changes outlined by my newsletters, and everyone should be aware by now that I've moved and am working in the Hull area United Reformed Churches in Hull, Yorkshire, England.
It's Christmas Eve here, and this is my first Christmas away from home! This is both a wildly scary and exciting thing, and I just came here to talk a little bit about the differences in the way Christmas is celebrated here as opposed to at home.
First of all, Christmas celebrations start in late November (November!!) in the region I'm in. There's Christmas markets, people have already started decorating their houses, and Christmas services at the churches start in early December. There's everything from Carol services to services of remembrance.
I think the funniest thing to me is that mulled wine and mince pies (the latter of which don't actually contain any meat, they're like mini candied fruit pies!) are two of the most essential Christmas things. Every single church service I've attended, every Christmas party, has had one or the other, if not both, and I don't blame them because they are delicious.
(Brief interruption here to preface my next topic and to state that if someone says dinner here, they're typically referring to lunch, unless they're not, and the evening meal is typically called tea, unless it's not, in which case it's called dinner. It's exactly as confusing as it sounds, and I have yet to figure out when dinner means lunch or dinner. Either way, dinner, in the context of Christmas, refers to lunch! That's the big meal for everyone typically.)
We had a Christmas dinner this past Sunday at one of the churches where we got to eat a typical Christmas meal, pictured below. On the plate is turkey, mashed potatoes, roast potatoes, carrots, peas, brussel sprouts, red cabbage, a ball of stuffing, and pigs in blankets (the last of which are tiny sausages wrapped in "streaky" aka normal American bacon, which is not the same as pigs in blankets in the US). It was delicious!
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Another tradition are Christmas Crackers, which you pull apart with someone and inside contain a paper crown, a joke, and usually a small gift/toy. Mine contained a little plastic golf tee! You can see the crackers and my crown below.
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Another thing that's quite different from home is the fact that I'll be attending church (actually, I and the other three volunteers I live with will be running the service) on Christmas day, where traditionally my home church (Augustana Lutheran Church in WSP, MN) holds services on Christmas Eve. I'll talk a littleore about differences between a typical Christmas service here (sneak peek: Away in a Manger has a different melody here!!) versus at home.
In total, my heart is full with the changing of the seasons and the love of the community I'm in now. I do want to add, though, that for all that I'm grateful for where God has placed me on this path, I sorely miss my loved ones back home, and I hope anyone overwhelmed by a feeling of loss or confusion during this holiday season can do their best to acknowledge that feeling, understand the reason it exists, and then fully lean into whatever comes next. I will leave you all with this poem:
“Go to the Limits of Your Longing”
by Ranier Maria Rilke
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.
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