#and i'm trying to distract myself with hannibal

[unacknowledgeable]

Uhm, hey!

I love your serial killer reader so so much, and I just want to say that it just scratches that itch in my brain.

Though, I feel like commissioners Gordon could be a yandere of a sort. He’s obsessed with the killer and finding this person, willing to break any law to find evidence, to risk his own morals to get a clue. And if he finds out its reader???

Well, I’ll be kinda like a Hannibal and will situation, but platonic. Like, reader now has their sight on this man, curious on how he’ll play the game, and Gordon is too obsessed not to play.

Anyway, could I be 🔎? Thanks for reading!!

Oh anon, anon anon anon, big kith for you (to transfer the worms, obviously) I told myself i would take a BREAK, but you, you, I'm bouncing off the walls bc of you

Y’know I actually have a spreadsheet with all of the batfams ages? when certain events happen, motivations, etc, now I gotta add gordon too, goodness me.

I honestly haven't watched Hannibal QwQ haha, would you believe me if I said most of the media I consume is actually feel good kids cartoons….? 

BUT I have been wanting to watch it so I watched the first few episodes before replying to this, because I gotta be informed y’know? admittedly i find there's a lot of disconnect between the correlating characters, but this is a wonderful jumping off point!

ANYWAY, I have actually been trying to think of a way to give the MC more of a life outside of angst with the batfam and, well, you know, murdering people. and this? This is so fun. I think the MC would probably know Gordon through Barbara (obviously), but that's not how they met. He was there, the night your mother died, arriving on the scene to find something he had hoped he wouldn't have found again, not after the first time. A small, 8 year old child, orphaned in a single night.

 Admittedly, that's where the similarities ended.  Where Bruce lost his parents in a back alley of Gotham, you lost yours within your own home. Where two gunshots marked the Wayne couple, your mother was bludgeoned . Where Bruce had wept, blood on his shoes as he gripped his parents bodies, pleading and fighting to hold on, you sat outside, waiting for police to arrive, not a drop of blood on you. 

Getting you to answer questions was like pulling teeth, all they could gather was that your mother had sent you to bed and you later woke up to find her body in the kitchen, having already been dead for several hours. They figured it was a robbery gone wrong, which would explain the killer not knowing another person was in the house, having fled the scene as soon as possible. But that didn't explain why on earth you didn't wake up to what was obviously a loud struggle, there was simply no way. 

The blood results very quickly answered that question and sparked hundreds more. Your mother had been microdosing your food with sleeping pills, all found within the apartment under her name. Either she didn't want to deal with putting you to bed or wanted to make sure you stayed there throughout the night. The fact that you were even still conscious was kinda a miracle. Gordon seriously wished that had been the biggest surprise from those damned tests. Because it turned out his earlier comparisons with Bruce Wayne were far more accurate then he ever would have guessed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's not exactly a stretch to assume Gordan kept some kind a of contact with you after everything is settled, he’s done it before, dudes literally one of Bruce's best friends 

He sees you at charity galas a lot, and after catching you trying to sneak alcohol from one of the tables? He appoints himself as your chaperone for any galas you both happen to attend from there on out, which is quite a few of them over the years

You'd have been a lot more annoyed with him if he hadn't allowed you to ramble and talk non-stop throughout the whole event (he was a distraction, like the alcohol, at least this distraction is legal)

This continues on even when your older, when he no longer has any legal need to herd you away from the drink tables, it's just habit now, and you hate breaking habits

While your connection with Bruce can get you many places, it's your connection with the Commissioner that basically guarantees you a position in the coroner's office

yeah, they work in the coroner's office as a mortuary assistant heheheeh  

It's not really suspicious either, Gordon had been well aware of your goal for the job for many years (long before you started making the bodies yourself)

So now, not only do you have near unlimited access to all the case files the bats have on you, you also had access to what the police knew (it's mostly the same stuff, but you had to cover all your bases, god you're just like your father)

There was some sort of irony, performing autopsies on the people you killed, but you don't care to look for it, more focused on destroying any bits of evidence you can

Gordon is no stranger to giving out confidential police info, hell he has a glorified flashlight built specifically to call the bat and just hand him case files, ON TOP OF THE POLICE STATION!!

You often work similar hours, so you let him talk and talk and talk at length about how fucking weird this serial killer in particular is

Unlike with the batfam, reader literally gets a front row seat to Gordon's descent into obsession

You'd seen him with almost every other criminal case that popped up during your time spent around the police department, so you caught on pretty quickly that this was was no normal case to him anymore

He was obsessive, rattling on about the motives and habits of this killer, talking like he knew them personally (oh the ironyyyy) and at first? It weirded you the fuck out.

Not the behavior in general, but that it was essentially focused solely on you, you kept him up at night, kept him guessing, wondering when you’ll strike next, how brutal will it be, more or less than usual?

At first you're like “oh okay, ummmm…. you good buddy? I'm not sure you're all there yourself actually”

You'd just never felt so seen, at least, not by someone still living

Now, Gordon's obsession isn't based on nothing, when I said he found the way SK!reader operated weird asf, I meant it, this man is utterly baffled by it

Normally, when crime scenes are as brutal as yours, its personal, they know the person they've murdered and they hold so much rage in their heart that they can't help but try to cause as much damage to the victim as possible

These crimes also only ever happen once. Not dozens and dozens of times, committed by the same person, it is always so insanely messy that it's easy to pinpoint the who, how and why. Open and shut cases really, just another Tuesday

But when he looks closer? It feels…. Sterile, Methodical, Planned out, scripted, like hitting replay on a particularly interesting scene in a show

This? This has all the showy, over-exaggerated nature of Gotham's greatest rogues, down to the last detail, to the last drop of blood. but it's missing the rogue

It has all of the signs of an attention seeking psychopath, but none of the drive to follow through. To take your rightful credit

Normally such a passionate crime would have someone of equal magnitude behind it. The Joker and his killing Jokes, Ivy and her Eco-terrorism, Bane and his hulking demeanor, Two-face and his double standards-

The point is, there's always a show before the Finale, but with you? He only gets a glimpse at the film before the end credits roll. 

It’s like you're diverting where your real motivations lie, like this is you holding back.

 It’s driving him up a wall

 Your really not making this easy for him, ever your fathers child

Besides that, I'm gonna end this with a few interesting points I thought of that are more difficult to go into more detail rn

Reader is pretty okay with hanging out with Gordon mostly to be petty to Barbara

Of the mindset of “oh, you want my dad? Fine, your dad's mine now. Y oink-”

Later, this'll be a pretty big blow to Bruce's ego, bc like, that's his best friend, so how can he really be upset that Gordon stepped up where he failed? Won’t stop him from being mopey about it though.

It's also a hit to Alfred's as well, because how hadn't he noticed you growing so close to the commissioner? He thought your pulling away from him for emotional support was just you growing up, not you looking for it elsewhere 

Gordon has also gotten the closest to finding the reader out, completely by accident

It was one of those days and he was worried about your sour mood, so he figured he’d drop by your workplace, pick you up after your shift ended, and go get take out

Safe to say, he was not expecting to find you mid brawl with some random drunk in an alley only 4 blocks away from where you worked

He stepped in immediately, to your surprise and horror, but he… he checked you for damage instead of slapping you in cuffs, made sure you were okay before calling an EMT to the location, and the only questions he had asked were “Are you okay sprout?”

You thanked your lucky stars that it was the drunk who had thrown the first swing, had instigated the fight, that the camera from the corner store across the street helped solidify that it was self defense, that Gordon had shown up just before it switched to a grizzly murder, and not during.

Another side story could also be the reader getting weirdly invested in the case about them at some point, because they realized they had a copycat killer and it really pissed them off lol

[suzy-queued]

Weekly Tag Wednesday

Thank you for the tags, @mmmichyyy @spookygingerr @deedala @stocious @energievie I really need this distraction today, so it's nice to take a few minutes to play along!

name: Deena

age: Two Noshos minus one

your time zone: EST

what do you do for work? I own a website design company. We cater to authors and publishers.

do you have any pets? Three cats and a snake

what first drew you to this fandom? I cruised by Tumblr from time to time looking at content for Hannibal, Voltron, Bill Hader, The 100, various stuff. And everywhere I looked, there were gifsets and photos of Ian and Mickey. It was like the internet was whispering to me that I should explore their story. So I started watching the show. And then I started reading the fanfic. And, let me tell you, the fic reeled me in like none I'd ever read before. I got so obsessed with reading all the amazing stories, and eventually decided to try writing myself.

are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl by nature. Morning person out of necessity.

what are your hobbies? Fandom, first and foremost. Also hiking, playing card games, solving puzzles, cross stitching, stained glass, going to concerts, local history, geocaching, creating board games, collecting shiny things, papercrafts.

how tall are you? 5'5"

if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? In the same town where I currently live. It's my true home.

favorite color? Orange!

favorite book? "The Bottoms" by Joe Lansdale

favorite movie? I can't pick just one. The Sound of Music. Fight Club. Titanic. Pan's Labyrinth.

favorite fic? Oh, wow. All of them. But my comfort fics are: The Wedding Planner Ransom Silent as Sunlight The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher OnlyFans

favorite musical artist: yungblud, grandson, Bring Me The Horizon, Alkaline Trio, Amigo the Devil

what is your average screen time so far this week? 2 hours 10 minutes

what’s the first app you open in the morning? Messaging, then Tumblr

how long have you been on tumblr? I got an account in 2012 to build custom landing pages for authors. But I started using it for myself in 2021.

finally (and i know this one is hard) tell me a fun fact about yourself: I'm going to meet Cameron Monaghan this weekend in Philly!

Tagging ... @francesrose3 @michellemisfit @creepkinginc @mikhailoisbaby @mybrainismelted @crossmydna @gallawitchxx @sam-loves-seb @grumble-fish

[elizabethplaid]

a fair number of notes - june 19th, 2024

-- Good counseling session today. Relayed some of the theories and conversations I've had with my dad and phone-friend. She noted that I expressed a lot less guilt than I used to, in previous years, regarding these "down swings".

-- Dad picked up Rx meds and a Dunkin drink for me. Came home right before counseling started, so I took comfort in my frozen drink.

-- Dad also installed the AC window unit in my bedroom. It was 93F today, so it's been very handy. The hottest it's been otherwise lately were a couple days of 84F.

-- After a post-counseling nap, we went to the grocery store. First time driving the "new" car, aside from just backing up in the driveway. It feels good, spacious; thin seat belt is unnerving.

-- --- Snagged some of my sparkling water and novelty sodas. Our main goal was our usual 2L sodas and a cucumber for pasta salad tonight. Ugh, just realized I forgot to get ice cream.

-- --- Dad messed with the AC controls, within 2 miles of driving home. I didn't say anything to stop him, because I thought we'd be home really quick. Nah, fuckin' distracting. Had to move the vents off me really really quick. I can't remember our exact words, but he apologized for being distracting. I said something to the effect of, "When I'm feeling this bad, pushing myself like this, everything is a distraction."

-- --- Really, I thought I felt okay until the air flow changed. When it did, I realized how thin a grip I had on things. But I had been confident and handled a lot of stimuli very well. And I'm still in good spirits!

-- For this excursion, I felt happy enough to throw on my jewelry, jeans, and one of my new bras. It fits well for the band, but the cups are small and squish me flat. Not bad for a lounging bra, especially for $10. It's comfy enough.

-- --- It's been almost 2 weeks, but I haven't cut off the tags from my new clothe yet. Need to do that and throw them in a load of cold laundry. Need to do laundry in general.

-- --- My goal is to do a bunch of little cleaning chores, bit by bit. Just clean the sink in one visit; clean something else in the next, etc. I'm tempted to make a list, to better organize my thoughts. But I'm already nibbling at things, so... I don't really -need- to make a list.

=========

-- Phone friend is fighting really bad allergies. They work outdoors, and the pollen provoked a really strong migraine. We've already discussed cautions of heat versus meds, staying hydrated, trying to stave off migraines. They've switched to new eye drops, and it seems to be helping.

-- --- Feeling sick and fatigued, we had to cut our last call short, and they skipped some of the morning/evening greetings. They worried about seeming too distant lately, and I'm like...

Really, I've been caught up in my own head, with all my sensory overload stuff. I'm chilling with my own vibes, feeling fine by myself. Never even occurred to me that things could be interpreted as us being a bit distant.

My reaction also reminded me of the apple juice story from Hannibal Buress. "... so caught up in the euphoria...," forgetting the practical reasoning.

I replied, explaining that we're good. I understand when life (and fatigue!) get in the way. I mean, I wanted to cancel this week's call, because my brain isn't good with speaking out loud. (I could hear myself talking in circles, repeating myself last week, because I space-out mid-sentence.)

=====

Anyway, thanks for sticking around reading all these notes. And if you didn't, if you just clicked "like" because you like me, that's fine too.

I started writing these notes for a few specific people, back when I was really depressed and withdrawn. Now, I write them to help me remember what I've been up to lately. As always, I really appreciate your support, friends.

[bbluejoseph]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for tagging me @thatbluelight !! i'm not always an ask games kind of person, but This. this is perfect and i had a lot of fun with it :)

how many works do you have on ao3?

98! getting veeeery close to that big 100 lol

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

486,142 apparently. not quite as many as i thought lol

3. what fandoms do you write for?

twenty one pilots, although i do have an old wtnv crossover in the mix somewhere. i've been thinking about writing for the nbc hannibal fandom, but haven't done it yet

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

bio is #1 by quite a bit <3 followed by odium, which i don't really like as much as i did when i first wrote it. after that is surrounded/hounded, spend some time (forever), and know me. oh god i forgot about that one

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try to, especially if they're longer comments, if people ask questions, if people said they liked the work, etc. i really appreciate the feedback and hearing how much people like something i've made motivates me to write more by a million lmao

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably home or colder bones

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

no one's gonna love you, not just bc everything works out and they get together but bc i was really happy with that ending and with the finished work

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

8. do you get hate on any fics?

not that i've ever noticed

without going into detail, i've written mlm and wlw. i generally try to make it abstract/not use explicit language because i have a Normal Healthy Relationship with sex and i can definitely say the word "cock" without wanting to tunnel into the ground like a gopher. as you can probably tell by this fic

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

just the pilots/wtnv crossover one, nothing too crazy (yet)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, a few times! i Need to remember to put the translation link in the author's notes and notify people in the tags that there's multiple versions available

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i've had other people beta for me once or twice, and sometimes i've beta'd for other people, but other than that, no. a proper collab sounds fun though!

14. what's your all time favorite ship?

tyler n josh obviously but doesn't have to be romantic!! i just think they're neat :)

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

if i listed every wip i've ever wanted to finish here, i'd be here all day lol. off of ao3, i'd love to finish all is cold betwixt; i have the whole thing mapped out, i just never wrote it. off the top of my head, i've got another shapeshifter one that's a bit less angsty than surrounded and a bit more silly. there's another more personal one that involves growing up in a changing climate, but it's never really gotten anywhere and was mostly just a vent fic. but probably the one i'd most like to finish involves love and fire and a terrible, terrible curse (or is it) with a splash of survivor's guilt.

16. what are your writing strengths?

once i get going on a writing session i Will keep going for a while. like if i get in the Writing Mood and sit down and actually do it, i'll get a shit ton of it finished

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

too many commas probably. also lately i've been starting fics without a general idea of the ending or how to get there, which leads me to abandon them or take long ass breaks. i also have trouble actually sitting down and Writing because i get distracted by other things that are less intense and require less focus but are still fun

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

nothing wrong with that, though i've never done it myself. i do appreciate when authors add a translation of the dialogue into english though so i don't have to whip out google translate

19. first fandom you wrote for?

warrior cats. i was 13, didn't have any social media, and i put several chapters to a spiral-bound notebook. not my best moment

20. favorite fic you've written?

no one's gonna love you and home are tied for #1, with surrounded/hounded and spend some time (forever) tied for #2. all my lady pilots stuff is #3; i don't think it's necessarily good but i enjoyed writing it!

tagging a few of my fellow fic writers here! no pressure to do the tag, and if anyone wants me to tag them, i'm happy to

@i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky @rabler @edyluewho @kiitchensiink

i KNOW there's more but i don't know everyone's tumblr urls since they aren't the same as their names on ao3 lol. if you see this and you want to do this, this is me tagging you <3

[strings0fcontrol]

Just a weird lil observation undeserving of tags

I just realized that I spat out roughly 40k words (+/- 38k are published, the rest are still all over my notes. It might even be way more than 40k) in less than a week, including a plot. I was doing this casually. I didn't plan a plot. I'm just writing down whatever weird lil scenes my autistic brain is sewing together in real time. I've watched Hannibal once. About a month ago. I've been roleplaying (primarily) Hannibal since. Sometimes Will. All of this is from memory. And the few snippets I picked up along the way in interviews. (What I'm trying to do is rewatch the show, scene by scene & really take it apart, but I'm currently struggling with that since I gravely miscalculated, fucked it up & realized I don't have a Blu-ray device for the CDs. So, I first need to get that sorted out. Hannibal, on Netflix, isn't available in Germany, so you can see my problem here.)

Now, my autistic half is relatively manageable, it's quite similar to Will's manifestation & after my formal diagnosis, I've gotten a very good grip on managing my triggers & generally, staying in control of them. Most of the time.

On the other hand, my ADHD is a dominant infernal disaster dumpster hellscape of problems, always taking detours through the wild lands of distraction. We have a love/hate relationship. I'm (usually) highly medicated just to function bc I have the attention span of a fruit fly, I'm severely traumatized & my energy levels hover in the negative realm. The meds are fucking up my liver, so I haven’t been taking them over the semester break/pause, whatever it's called in English, which means I'm usually completely & utterly useless in that state. Strong executive paralysis. So, the fact that in my unmedicated state, I've managed to vomit out roughly 40k words of a novel in less than a week is an incredible milestone. I'm not even sure if the story is good. I'll have to rework it on a couple of corners. This is also just phase one, since I'm now, once I rewatch the show, going into phase two, where shit will really go wild & the actual story begins. I didn't even think I'd make it past the first chapter. I was sweating to make it to 6, I was crying when I reached 10 & I nearly fainted when I made it all the way to 14. And, once again, I'm so very glad that Hannibal has touched my little world, bc not only do I love that show, the books, the movies, everything, it's pulled me out of my depression & given me something to be happy about, bc those (almost) 40k words mean I shouldn't give up on myself just yet. I'm not a complete disaster. There's still untapped potential. There's still energy. I can feel the fire in my soul again, I feel alive again, I'm curious again, I'm feeling joy again & so much more. I'm very grateful for that little revelation. So, my sincerest thanks to the universe & to everyone involved in the show, movies & books.

Danke. I'm feeling my spark again, thanks to you. It's been dead for nearly 15 years. And. I want my future self to look at this when the insecurity strikes again. Believe in yourself, child. Believe.

[deludedmarimo]

good job ordering food!! what did you get??

a peaceful day is definitely better than chaotic!! i like to be able to relax and not have too much pressure day to day!! hermit lifestyle <3 a miniature flower shop sounds so cute!! are you making it from scratch or do you have a set?? either way it’s very cool!! i’ve always loved miniatures but i’ve never gotten around to making them!! double sided tape is annoying to work with… i used it a lot in elementary school for the projects we had but since then i haven’t had many opportunities to work with it!! all the better i guess!!! i think your brain is interesting!!! it makes me wanna pick you apart and see what you’re made of!!! there’s something so !! captivating about you!!! you’re not bland at all!! you don’t have to worry about being energetic or interesting or whatever else!! i’m interested in you already!!! i wanna put you in a terrarium!!!! teehee!! i jump between medias a lot myself!! i usually focus on a few at a time but some days i bounce around like a monkey!! i wasn’t able to get through hannibal because i got squicked out during the first season but!! the hannigram dynamic is sooo so so fun!! i’m happy you had a better dream!!! silly dreams!!! i get nightmares too :( not nice!! and endless torment does get tiring!! i’m glad that you’re getting a little break from the worse nightmares!! i remember my dreams mostly but i forget them if i do something right as i wake up!! my dream last night was a party setting?? i think??? and there was a bear greeting people who arrived!! but my alarm woke me up so it all disappeared!! i’m happy to stop by and talk with you!! i am !! embarrassed to dm you having been anonymous for a while now !!! but i think you’re very sweet and fun and many other good things!!!

-🦦

（＾＿＾）☆ thank you !!! i usually forget to eat, but i actually Want energy to do things so i've been eating more !! i need go get back into working out too.. i miss my muscles .. i already said what i got, and unfortunately it was not very good. i still ate it though! which is rather?? surprising??? when i dislike something, i'll refuse to eat it outright. hopefully it means im improving with my eating problems! but Definitely won't order there again.. apologies for the late reply! i decided to take a bath since my back was bothering me (from. leaning over while doing my miniatures). feeling better now !! thumbs up!

i do as well. but i'm also a workaholic, so i can get agitated with not having a purpose to fulfill ... i'm usually good about distracting myself away from it at least! hermit lifestyle my beloved !!!! i would go outside more if i had the means for transportation or people to go with but . looks around. i have neither! so i will choose to stay in my cave! it is comfy here anyways... roasts marshmallows over a small fire in the corner.

i'm making it from a set! i would love to make miniatures from scratch though someday, when i have the space. i have the tools for the job (since you can really make them from just anything!), but . i have a rather tiny desk. when i craft, i craft messily. i can't function properly with organization, and it gives me more stress to keep things tidy. mess for the win!!!!!!! i'd recommend trying out miniatures when you're able! start out easy if you can. it takes patience and a steady hand, which i believe is difficult for most... i don't know your experience with crafts, but either way all that matters is if you have fun with it! starting out on a more expert level will lead to anguish . (which i do with everything T_T;; i just enjoy the challenge..) DOUBLE SIDED TAPE MY ENEMY . it Always sticks to itself !!!! why is it so evil !!!!!!!! you're blessed to not have worked with it since your younger years... i much prefer glue, even if its more messy.

AH ? ? ? I'M SO FLATTERED !!!!!!!! i enjoy being an intriguing specimen!! pick me apart as much as you like! i'm always open to answering questions. you're so dear! i need to find more synonyms for 'sweet' since i say it a lot ... it's true though!! i feel silly worrying about me being interesting, but your words do help. i'd love to live in a terrarium! i've been watching an abundance of terrarium/vivarium building videos lately, and i keep thinking of how it would be to live in one... i'd love to be surrounded with wildlife and nature (autism)! i have some plants of my own, but not the amount that i'd like. i also had a vivarium but ^_^ . my parents killed it . i don't exactly blame them, since it was also dying from a random fungus outbreak. alas ! something to learn from for next time. ... which i do not think there will be in the soon future. limiting myself on plant and bug purchases until i'm in a more permanent residence! it's painful to wait, but i must...BASICALLY . make me a terrarium and i will hop in it ! i am rather easy to please anyways .... this also contributed to my slow response . i am rather poor with replying to compliments, they leave me . speechless a lot !!!

thats okay! its rather gorey for a lot of people. i enjoy blood/gore myself, but its a rather uncommon thing to find pleasure in ... i enjoy the meaning/symbolism you can find in viscera and its destruction!! i'm assuming thats why you were squicked out, but perhaps there's another reason? correct me if i'm wrong. they are indeed very silly !!!!! i met the actors in person once! while i was waiting in line, someone gave me a hannigram sticker... such an honor . . . the dynamic is so lovely !!! i am personally very will graham myself. can you tell i have a fixation on unhealthy/toxic relationships....... looks around.

nightmares are so evil .. . why must our brains conjure up such things ... they derive from a number of things that can be easily solved, but still !!!!!! why must you do this !!!!! i also have the thing where i can feel pain in my dreams. i never knew this was a rare thing until i searched it up... i don't know the cause, but it's not super great! luckily i don't have nightmares that often anymore unless i don't take my medicine, which i do my best to remember!! i also forget when i do something! i used to keep a dream journal, and i'd be able to remember them as soon as i woke up and jotted them down. usually my dreams are way too complex to properly describe... i did my best! i don't keep one anymore, but its fun! a bear bouncer and a party... that is so pawsome... sounds like . (looks around) unbearable fun ....... :3c.

i'll see myself out . (couldn't come up with anything better.)

my dms are always open whenever, no need to force yourself or rush! i understand the anxiety behind it. i'm better with being more open in dms if you're ever more curious, since posting asks in public can be rather exposing.... i think you are also rather delightful to talk to!! ˊᗜˋ!!!!! (thank you for the kind words ...)

[cruorcrave]

20 November 2024, cont.

It's times like these that made me start this blog. I've been having a good day, and yet something realistically insignificant has caused it to take a southward turn.

TW: Discussion of s/h and blood

Me and my older sister went for a drive around earlier, and I started to note about how I don't like eating the fat on meat unless it's something like pork crackling, as anyone that eats meat knows is an entirely different experience. However the way I started this topic; "When you cut out the bones and remove the fat, there really isn't much meat left on the ribs," obviously caused my sister to jokingly refer to me as Hannibal. This didn't upset me of course, it made me laugh because it was a funny remark and I know she wasn't serious, but as the conversation continued I felt myself honing in on that all too familiar feeling in my gut. That hungry, craving feeling, like I hadn't eaten in days. Our discussion of which parts of meat were best to eat started to make me feel sick to my stomach. I looked down at my groceries, at the chuck steak sitting in a small pool of blood in it's plastic box. I felt sick.

This is strange, obviously, because for context; I love meat and always have. No doubt there. But seeing the blood pooling as we talked about meat just made me think back on the recent times that I've hurt myself with a similar goal - it wasn't for the scars or the pain as it had been in the past, it was to eat. Is that all I see myself as now? Do I see my own body as so expendable that it's akin to a piece of meat? I don't think I do, but sometimes I feel I do... which doesn't make a bunch of sense, but I don't know how else to explain it.

I'm going to try my best to distract myself tonight, and shut the thoughts out. I'm two days clean now, and the whole aim of this is to keep it that way. Even though I feel like I'm starving for it, even though my body is screaming at me to give in, I'm going to resist it.

Clean since 18 November 2024

[tiggymalvern]

Yeah, after eight years, the ask box became a problem, sorry. A dozen hits a day from people asking for money, which may or may not have been scams, until I got tired of deleting them and closed it ☹️

Favourite fic of mine? Ah, the unanswerable question! Usually the answer is 'the one I most recently finished' because that's the one I have all the feels about right now. When I try to be objective, I think it might be my Once Upon a Time in Mexico series, because it has the most complex plotting and character development overall (it should have, it's 230k words!) And writing a blind sociopath was definitely challenging, and fun in a twisted way 🤪

2. I used to write to music, then at some point it became too distracting and since my Hannibal era I write in silence. When I did write to music, it wasn't a playlist, it was one song with the right vibes for that story that I looped. Sometimes through the whole day. It's probably a good thing I no longer want music, because now my SO works from home and that would not be acceptable for both of us LOL.

3. Current WIPs might be two or it might be zero... I still have a Hannibal fic that I keep telling myself I'll finish once I'm no longer distracted by Burn Notice. On the Burn Notice front, I have a few scenes I've scribbled down that might come to nothing, because currently I only have a start point and no clear view of where I'd be going with it.

4. I sent my sister a link to one of my Hannibal fics once, but she never read it, so it's not likely to come up. But if they did read my fics, I'd probably steer them away from the bondage and flogging fic and that one time I wrote mpreg 🤣

5. Favourite line???? I've written a million words over 30 years. Some of the plots I can barely even remember now when I go back and read them, let alone the specific lines XD

Thanks for the asks, I do appreciate being thought of (especially since you have to make extra effort to do it) ❤️

@tiggymalvern you have your Ask Box off right now so I'll just tag you in the Fanfic Ask game going around right now

Your fav fanfic you've written and why?

Do you have playlists you listen to while writing?

How many WIPs you got right now?

Any fanfics you wouldn't want your family to read?

Fav line you've ever written

[lesbian-hannibal]

what are ur fav lines from each season of hambl :)

i’ve been thinking about this alll day

ily thank u <333

this is a bit of a mess but i tried to format it

season 1

- obvs the whole bit about will not liking eye contact

Hannibal: Not fond of eye contact, are you?

Will Graham: Eyes are distracting, you see too much, you don't see enough. And-And it's hard to focus when you're thinking, um, "Oh, those whites are really white", or, "He must have hepatitis", or, "Oh, is that a burst "vein?" So, yeah, I try to avoid eyes whenever possible.

- also when will says he doesn’t find hannibal interesting

Will Graham: I don’t find you that interesting.

Hannibal: You will.

- his weird threat to freddie

Will Graham: It isn't very smart to piss off a guy who thinks about killing people for a living.

- what is garret jacob hobbs to you now? (shrugs) dead.

Hannibal: What is Garret Jacob Hobbs to you now?

Will Graham: Dead.

season 2

-bedelias moment before she runs

Bedelia Du Maurier: The traumatized are unpredictable because we know we can survive. You can survive this happening to you.

- i cant do this without mentioning the classic

Will: Is your social worker in that horse?

- this gay ass moment

Hannibal: With all my knowledge and intuition I could never entirely predict you. I can feed the caterpillar, I can whisper through the chrysalis, but what hatches follows its own nature and is beyond me.

-eat the rude obvs

Hannibal Lecter: Whenever feasible, one should eat the rude.

- gay ass moment part 2 (gone violent) (gone sexual)

Hannibal: I let you know me. See me. I gave you a rare gift. But you didn't want it.

Will: Didn't I?

Hannibal: Do you believe you could change me, the way I've changed you?

Will: I already did.

- in the pantry SKFKWKFKW

Hannibal: [whispers] In the pantry.

season 3

- this one changed my thought pattern forever

Hannibal: I have to eat him.

- THE ENTIRE REUNITING SCENE FROM DOLCE

Hannibal: If I saw you every day, forever, Will, I would remember this time.

Will: Been staring at afterimages of you in places you haven't been in years.

Hannibal: Where does the difference between the past and the future come from?

Will: Mine? Before you and after you. Yours? It's all starting to blur.

Will: We're conjoined. I'm curious whether either of us can survive separation.

- wills vague threat to bedelia

Will: I'd pack my bags if I were you, Bedelia. Meat's back on the menu

Bedelia: You righteous, reckless, twitchy little man.

- ough

Hannibal: Save yourself, kill them all.

Will: I don't know if I can save myself.

[charliedawn]

Well, the slashers getting caught during sexy times was interesting! What about the hannibals? 😈

"It's alright. We had to tell them eventually..."

Chillest of them all. He isn’t ashamed of his body and would just tell them to get out politely. He would stop if you wish to ? Or, continue ? He doesn’t mind either way and would take your opinion above anything else. He would be considerate and try to soothe you the best he can. He would also buy you flowers in the following days or any kind of present to make you forgive his carelessness.

"Don’t worry, love. They will have forgotten all about it tomorrow morning..I’ll make sure of it."

Their reactions :

Morgan *smiles and gently closes the door behind him*

Kevin : "Damn ! Even uncle’s getting some ?! When is my turn ?!"

Peter *traumatised and slowly closes the door behind him*

Hannibal Sr. *smiles and leaves discreetly*

"I..I deeply apologize. I should have locked the door. I don't understand..I always lock the doors..I..I.."

He would be more upset about actually forgetting it and not being perfect than the fact that his family actually entered. He would immediately stop and have an internal crisis at the fact that he made such a mistake.

"I got..distracted."

You smiled before ghosting your lips over his.

"How inconsiderate of you.."

He would have taken it seriously if it wasn’t for the way the corners of your lips tilted up playfully and he whispered against your lips.

"How inconsiderate indeed..How may I redeem myself ?"

You wrapped your arms around his neck.

"How indeed ?"

Their reactions :

Kevin : "EWEWEWEWEW ! I need to go bleach my eyes !" *slams the door behind him*

Peter *shudders and blushes in embarrassment at the sight before he quickly gets out*

Hannibal Jr. *stays shocked for a couple of seconds before closing the door, pretending he saw nothing*

Hannibal Sr. : "My apologies. Do try to be more quiet though ? The other children are sleeping." *leaves*

The reaction of Peter would be very different depending on which family member catches the both of you in the act. If it’s one of his siblings ? He would stop, but will not panic, as they usually stick together. He would also apologise profusely for not being more careful.

"I..I’M SO SORRY ! I didn’t think there would be anyone else."

Their reactions :

Morgan *sighs loudly before throwing some condoms at Peter and leaving the room wordlessly*

Kevin *smiles widely* : "Can I watch ?" *proceeds to sit down before Peter grabs a nearby shoe and throws it at his face*

Peter : "KEVIN ! Get out !"

Kevin *cackles before running out of the room*

Peter *smiles reassuringly at you* : "It's okay..It's only Kevin/Morgan. He won't tell anybody. I'm glad it wasn't my dad or my uncle."

However, if it was one of them ? He will panic and fear for your life. You better got legs to carry you somewhere where they can never find you.

Hannibal Jr. *fake and threatening smile* : "…I’m afraid your stay has become an inconvenience. Please, leave."

Hannibal Sr. *smiles and pretends to be okay with it before getting out a shotgun* : "I’ll give you a five seconds head start..5."

"Get out. Now."

The command is serious and it’s in those moments that you can see how Kevin is in complete control of his emotions..He was experiencing pleasure a few minutes ago, but his face is now expressionless, even though he is still inside you and is staring at whoever interrupted the both of you. He won’t stop. They can all watch if they want. He doesn’t understand "shame" and will only ask them to leave because he knows it makes you uncomfortable.

Their reactions :

Morgan *smiles* : "I’m happy for the both of you."

Peter *shrieks and covers his eyes before closing the door* : "Sorry sorry sorry..!"

Hannibal Jr. *stands still for a second or two before closing the door* : "My apologies.."

Hannibal Sr. : "Don’t mind me. Sorry for the interruption.."

"Do close the door on your way out.."

He would be calm. The man is poised in all situations. It’s only the kids and they may as well learn a thing or two about satisfying their partner..Hannibal Sr. is very meticulous and it shows in the bedroom as well. He can be savage or very nice when he wants to. He will also always take your needs into consideration and will stop if you want him to. He will not show any sign of disappointment or frustration if you want the two of you to stop and try to make it up to you somehow ?

Their reactions :

Peter : "DAD ?! Gross !"

Kevin *whistling* : "Dad’s getting some !"

Morgan *shakes his head in disbelief at his siblings’ reactions*

Hannibal Jr. *leads them all out of the room*

[space-blue]

okay first of all how does anyone bear to do asks i need to keep switching between two tabs trying to figure out what questions i'm trying to ask, there's got to be an easier way-- BUT right, Behind the Scenes asks: 1, 5, 12, 18 PLEASE, and 23. (PS am i supposed to ask so many? prob not. screw it, i'm greedy (PPS am i supposed to be anon rn idk if that's correct etiquette)) THANKS!

I jot the numbers down somewhere if I'm getting overwhelmed. You did great though! And no, there is no etiquette on how many to ask, don't worry. If there's a double I'll just send you to the other ask. More means I get to talk about fic more, which is great! :3

What was the first fandom and/or pairing that you wrote fic for?

Star Wars, Thrawn x OC. I was pretty sauced. I think I have some great moments in there, and I was free to create all the banter I wanted, etc. But it suffers a LOT from me being completely new to multi chapter work. I go into meandering tengeants and don't know when to stop on the world building. It had its fans and really dragged me into the whole fanfic universe though. Maybe one day I'll finish it, but I had no idea which way to go. I feel like I wrote myself in a corner, somewhat haha

5. What is the perfect environment for you to write in?

I don't mind loud spaces like cafes or pubs, so long as the music isn't obnoxious and I can hear my own. I just like places where nobody is going to come to me to interrupt me. Sadly I live and work in a backpacker hostel, meaning I have 50 odd housemates at any given time, without counting the 250 guests. I get interrupted a LOT. So right now, hidden in my bed or hunkering down at my fav cafe, would be my answer.

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

Yes! There's this Tarkin & Ahsoka fic I mentioned in this ask. It focuses on the amnesia trope. I really, really like to write sort of mind fucky things from character PoV. So Tarkin struggling with shattered memories and having to rebuild himself while trusting this total stranger… Hard. Especially when WE all know she's lying to him to try and use him for her side, because the rebellion just needs the help that badly. I do need to make better research on real amnesia before I apply scifi logic to it... And I need to not be hyperfixation on Quaritch's blue ass. His own trope scratches a similar itch, since he's a clone with implanted memories. So identity crisis as well...

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

OK ok I have this entry from my Hannibal ficlets that focuses on a secret inside the "mind palace" Hannibal Lecter has. I've read all three relevant Hannibal books, watched the films, all TV series… And then I read the book Piranesi by Susanna Clarke. It's excellent and I recommend it. It focuses on a man living inside an enormous house that has three levels going in all directions, with clouds in the top level and a sea with rushing tides in the bottom. There are statues everywhere… And birds… And it's very WTF and it takes you a long time to understand what's going on. It's in this man's pov too which thickens the mystery.

I love the works of Piranesi. He's an italian architect and archaelogist who once got sick. 22 yo and delirious with fever, he sketched a series of 'infinite prisons' which you can see here!

So I'm writing this tiny daily ficlet, trying to stick as close to 200 words as I can, and I was folding myself into a piranesian pretzel trying to FIT THE DAMN EXPRESSION in. Making Hannibal's mind palace into a piranesian thing.

There is a corner of his mind always plagued by snow. It is a torturous journey there, through labyrinthine passages, down echoing stairwells and across bridges arcing over the piranesian landscape of his palace. It is easy to lose one's way, to be distracted by the vaulted ceilings of a chapel, the confines of well used hideouts, or the familiar outlines of his Baltimore office. But if he keeps walking, fingers brushing against all the door-frames of all the halls of his mind, eventually they alight on damp wood, cold and brittle. 

[he's off to visit his baby sister, who he keeps in there. He was forced to eat her by soldiers as a child, yeah it's dark]

23. If you had to remix one of your own fics, which would it be and how would you remix it?

I'm not super hung up on this idea. I write and move on. I have 151 works currently and I've been on ao3 for not even 3 years. So as you can imagine I have a tendency to create a new work rather than worry about remixing.

This being said I'd probably completely retool my very first fic, as per answer 1. I'd change the OC, shorten the plot by A LOT, get the action started sooner, completely drop a lot of worldbuilding… It's a slog, which can be very sweet in a fanfic when you're enjoying the slog content, but dear lord, it makes for awkward re-reading. I'd make the OC an alien instead of a human raised by aliens. Too much going on.

[angelic-serenade]

Alastor + disaster cook! S/O

headcanons

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

you could not cook to save your life

any attempt at cooking would result in certain failure in the best case scenario and 5.4 magnitude earthquake damage in the worst

sure, you could make edible pasta and if you really put your best efforts into it, acceptable omelette too

but anything past that level of complexity was simply out of your league, a lost cause to put it mildly

don't you even think about making a cake, that shit's dangerous

as they say: as above so below

when you landed in Hell and found yourself joining the Happy Hotel soon after, you came to find out your culinary skills had not magically improved

which is quite ironic since Charlie had made you head chef of the hotel

the string of curses which had left your lips upon hearing the news had been legendary, even for Hell

you adored the demon princess with your whole heart (or whatever was left of it anyway), bUT REALLY CHARLIE? YOU DO NOT GIVE A GUN TO A CHILD AND EXPECT CASUALTIES NOT TO HAPPEN

at this point you were certain she was subconsciously auto-sabotaging

either way, you didn't have the heart to tell her no, so you decided to put your heart and soul into trying to learn how to properly cook, which didn't turn out to be the ideal choice of words since you were in Hell and your soul was probably rotten to the core

at least, nobody could say you hadn't tried your damn best

and hey! some days your cooking hadn't even been completely sickening

you decided to stick to easy, “safe” dishes though, you know, just to be sure

so pasta and eggs were definitely a thing

a constant and repetitive thing to be precise

you were trying your best, okay? nobody in your place with your limited set of skills would have taken the job, but you did and you deserved recognition for that feat alone

or a fucking donkey hat for your skyrocketing dumbness levels

things were not so bad at first

both Charlie and Vaggie were very supportive, each one of them in their own way - even though you had totally seen Charlie trying to swallow pure unadulterated fear that one time you had announced you wanted to try to cook something more elaborate

Angel Dust on the other hand... hadn't been as considerate as to lie to your face about what he thought of your cooking

"fuck me doll, this shit's disgusting"

*insert the I don't have friends they disappoint me vine here*

Vaggie had proceeded to give Angel quite the earful while Charlie tried her best to cheer you up

you went full hermit mode on them for two days after that

you were proud of yourself, handling criticism so well

anyway, the cycle kept repeating, with the only difference that most days Angel would grab something to eat outside of the hotel and join you during meals only to blankly stare at the plates and silvery

Charlie had tried to shield you from the truth, but you weren't that stupid

you respected Angel's choice, really, you did, and you had decided to be the bigger person among the two

that's why you began to put a lil bit of laxative into his portions whenever he decided to grace your efforts and actually eat your "disgusting cooking"

y’know just to spicy things up a little

at least now he had a valid reason to complain

with the whole fiasco on live TV and the sudden and suspicious appearence of the one and only Radio Demon at your doorstep, however, things started going haywire

Alastor's presence was eeirly demanding and unsettlingly charmimg at the same time

so it was only natural for you to gravitate the fuck away from him whenever you could

you always acted politely, greeting him whenever you bumped into him through the corridors of the hotel, but you only went as far as to appear courteous because you didn't want for him to go Hannibal Lecter on you. thanks, no thanks

“and what can you do my feminine fellow?”

“I can suck your dick!”

you had snorted a bit at that which immediately shifted the strawberry pimp's attention to yourself

“and what about you, pretty dame? I take it you're in charge of the kitchens around here?”

dressed in your chef attire, you were going to meekly answer him, but before you could, roaring laughter erupted in the room. it belonged to the one and only slutty spider you found oh so irritating

in the fraction of seconds, Alastor snapped his neck at an unnatural angle to stare at the spider with a strained smile on his face

needless to say, the cursed image would forever haunt your traumatized psyche

“hasn't your mother taught you it is rude to interrupt a conversation which you have no part in? that just won't do!”

static filled the air and you feared you were going to implode if the heavy pressure didn't lift off soon enough, so you decided to take action

“ugh... yes, I'm the head chef! but, well, I... could actually use some practice and proper training?”

you hated how uncertain you sounded, but Angel's comments and your own dissatisfaction with your culinary products made you quite self-conscious about your skills

“don't fret your pretty little head about it, my dear! I, for one, am a culinary connaisseur and wonderful chef, if I do say so myself. I'll be ecstatic to guide you through your training!”

how you'd be able to handle his booming voice during hours and hours of practice was your first and main concern, but you had never been one to refuse the chance to finally prove the people who had criticized you wrong *cough cough* Angel Dust

since that day, Alastor began to personally give you cooking lessons

he was exuberant and pretty sly when it came to veiled jabs about your dreadful cooking, but he really took his time to help you out

which you had been both grateful and suspicious about

“now, we can't have our future patrons starving to death, can we?”

he was strangely patient and an overall good teacher too (emphasis on overall)

he guided you step by step through each dish, simultaneously showing off his own flawless culinary skills

you hated that you daily found yourself boosting his already GIGANTIC ego, but you couldn't help it. you could only dream about reaching that level of artistry in cooking

he always came up with creative recipes to test your limits and cooked for you in order to make you more familiar with different tastes. his mother’s were your favorites, jambalaya being his one true specialty 

he had blindfolded you once and proceeded to present you with various samples of spices, oilments and all kinds of food so that you could acquaint yourself with the smells and flavors of the ingredients and figure out yourself which ones would best suit a certain dish

saying you were hesitant at first was an understatement, because you know? being completely at the mercy of a sadistic serial killer who had terrorized the seven circles of hell? not even being able to see him? not on your bucket list

he had tried to ease your nervousness with the whole “if I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already” thing, but it was getting kind of old pretty fast

“if I had been one to play with fire, I'd have joined a circus”

he found your sense of humor as endearing your sheer presence

(when he rolled up his sleeves to cook, you felt like you could catch fire any minute, you were a slut for strong skinny arms) 

yes, Alastor had always loved to show off his own impeccable skills but he unexpectedly found himself enjoying the moments spent in your company too

he relished in seeing you fail again and again, but he also admired the way you always managed to bring yourself back up to your feet each time

he had yet to fully understand if it was foolishness or stubbornness to guide your steps

either way, you turned out to be his favorite form of entertainment in the hotel!

no matter how many slights would he send your way, you'd always manage to find an appropriate remark that made his permanent smile stretch a little more in sheer amusement

“oh dear, this beef is so undercooked one could still hear the poor beast’s lament”

“the only noise I hear is the obnoxious ramblings of an arrogant boomer”

he wasn't technically a boomer but it was always so satisfying to irk him with terms he had no knowledge of

during your cooking lessons, when the only thing left to do with a dish was wait and pray for the best, you'd come to talk about everything and anything

he'd talk to you about his precious New Orleans as he remembered it and you'd fill him in on recent historical/social developments of your time

he always looked so taken when you shared with him that modern knowledge and it made you feel useful for a change

it was, dare you say it, almost adorable how he'd ask you countless questions about your home town, the catastrophes of the last century and had there been any other war since his death?

the topic switches almost made you dizzy though

once or twice, when the timing allowed, he'd even indulge in a musical show to pass time

on the days your mood soured because of a particularly complicated recipe or bad result, he'd drag you along and dance until you were so distracted by the absurdness of the circumstances that you forgot about your previous sadness

with time, his musical shows became more frequent as he realized you'd always offer him a genuine smile after his flashy performances

it was out of personal indulgence, not because he liked the way his music always seemed to cheer you up

he'd not been vocal about the way he tried to comfort you, but you were grateful nonetheless

the first time you managed to succesfully complete one of his complicated recipes, you had almost cried

“now, now deary, under my watchful eye, it was only a matter of time until you'd finally blossom into a fine cook!”

“Alastor can I... can I hug you?”

and how could he say no to such an adorable expression? he found himself stunned into silence, not being able to tell you yes either, therefore you slowly came closer as if trying not to scare a wild animal away

when Alastor passively stood before you, not moving away, you wrapped your arms around him

he really was such a dorky noodle

he didn't relax into the hug, but he kept still as you relished in the moment and let the pressure you had hoarded for months now loose

Alastor proceeded to show off your dish during dinner and even Angel Dust could do nothing but shut up and dig in

The all powerful Radio Demon was simply so proud of your progress - not that he doubted you'd prevail in the end, thanks to his expertise and guidance

from that moment onward things only got better and even if you didn't necessarily need Alastor's help anymore, neither of you ever mentioned going your separate ways

you were both secretly glad for the silent agreement

friendly banter and dad jokes were a daily occurrence and with your new-found confidence in the field, you'd always bite back showing off new delicious dishes instead than words

you still had trouble every now and then, but Alastor was always there to help you out

not that you'd ever hear the end of it if you actually asked him for help

“what was that, my darling? is the mightiest chef in Hell having trouble in Paradise?”

you had noticed however that he'd started sneaking glances your way more than usual lately and he also started following you around wherever you went in the hotel. he became your shadow both inside and outside of the kitchen

the attention soon became unnerving, even more so when you'd go in the kitchen only find a different flower on the counter each morning

you came to realize that Alastor's advances were rather old fashioned, but you would amuse the dork and yourself for a while before taking charge

gifts became an ordinary occurrence as well as praise and you preferred not to think about what praise could do to you when it came from Alastor

he enjoyed your reactions to his flattering words a little too much, he had to admit

you had had enough of his childish antics one day and you decided to finally put your plan into action

“Al, can you come here for one sec?”

he wasn't particularly fond of the nickname, but you just loved to get under his skin as much as he did when it came to you

“what can I do for you, my darling chef?”

“here, I have a gift for you”

he looked uncharacteristically unsure of what to do but slightly amused as well. in the end curiosity took the best of him and he finally decided to open the box you had handed to him rather unceremoniously

“what is this dear?”

the apron you had chosen was a perfect fit for your long boi

“read it, please”

“kiss the cook? well, if you ask me so nicely, I just might have to”

he then proceeded to peck your cheek and you swore you could have fainted right there and then by the sheer sweetness of the gesture

it hadn't exactly been what you had planned, but you weren't going to complain

your relationship was bound to be full of surprises apparently

[laynavile]

Some Days, I'm Struggling For Control

Pairing : Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham

Warnings : Mentions of murder and blood, anal sex, spit as lube, oral sex, physical fighting (hitting, punching)

Rating : E

Word count : 2k+

Will pisses Hannibal off, he starts swearing which turns Will on, they fight, then they fuck.

Inspiration came from Mads character, Nigel, saying the word, "fuck" a lot. I wanted to write Hannibal getting angry and not being able to stop saying it. So I figured why not write this as the fill for the free space on my @hannibalbingo card.

Enjoy 😌

"How careless are you? Do you want us to become caught? Do you want to go back to uncle Jack so badly that you'd expose us in such a way?"

"It wasn't my fault, h-he was flirting with you."

"Flirting with me? Do you know how many men I have to watch flirt with you every single day? Do I kill them in broad daylight for it?"

"There was no one around. Hannibal, I'm sorry, he pissed me off."

"Do you even fucking understand how pissed off I get every time men flirt with you? When they attempt to take what is mine? You're lucky everyday that I do not fuck you in front of them."

"Then who would be careless?"

"Would I not be following your fucking example?"

"I'm shocked, Dr. Lecter, I've never heard you use such crass language outside of our bed."

"You insufferable man, you make me crazy."

"I think it's very sexy of you." He knows what Will is doing, how he's trying to divert the situation, it will not work.

"Do not fucking trying to distract me." Hannibal is doing it on purpose now, now that he knows Will likes him cursing. He's still upset, still needs to try to control the situation, but right now he cannot help but want to rile Will up. "You know damn well what the fuck you've done wrong. We don't murder in the middle of the day. Unless of course as I said, you'd rather go back and play FBI with uncle Jack again, is that what you fucking want? Is it?"

"No, if I wanted that why would I have come to you in the first place?"

"Perhaps this is all an elaborate fucking ruse again to try and get me into a cage." Low blow, he knows that Will regrets what happened that night in Baltimore what seems like a thousand years ago and yesterday all at once.

"How many times will you make me apologize for that? I wanted to run away with you, and now I have and you're pissed because I killed someone. Hannibal, we kill people all the time."

"Yes, but one of us is not careless when fucking killing. Will, if you want to go, there's the fucking door, don't let it hit you on the way out." He doesn't mean it, never would he mean it, but Will has him angry and not only that Hannibal is feeling particularly petulant today.

"I'm not leaving, unless you're coming with me."

"Tell me, Will, why the fuck would I come with you after what you've done?"

"I did it for you, you bastard."

"For me? No, you fucking did it for yourself. You threw a fucking tantrum because someone flirted with me."

"You're mine, no else's, they don't get to flirt with you."

"Do you think I fuck every person who fucking flirts with me?"

"You fucked me."

"Yes, I fucked you, because I fucking love you."

"I don't understand why you're so mad."

"We could get fucking caught now, or is this your way of saying you don't want to be in fucking Germany any longer? You couldn't fucking say so like a fucking adult? You're such a fucking child sometimes."

Will throws the first punch, fist connecting with Hannibal's jaw.

"You little fucker." Hannibal resists, he doesn't want to hurt Will.

Will punches him again, this time in the stomach--Hannibal stays standing at least. "Fight back."

"I do not wish to fucking fight you."

Will smacks him this time, Hannibal is certain there will be a red hand print across his face.

Hannibal snorts, "Fine, you want to act like a fucking child, I'll leave."

Will backhands him, "You're not leaving me." The force of it splits Hannibal's lip.

He's not leaving, he's never leaving, this is the exact reaction he'd hoped for. Will takes his anger and frustrations out on Hannibal instead of some random man in the middle of the street. "I'll leave whenever I fucking want to. You do not fucking tell me what the fuck I can or cannot do." He can practically smell Will's anger and arousal.

"Do you want me to hurt you?" Will grinds his teeth together, Hannibal grabs his jaw to stop him.

"No, I don't want you to fucking hurt me, but I'd rather it me than someone in the middle of the fucking street exposing us."

"I'm sorry, I got jealous. But you have no right to get mad at me."

"I have no right? What the fuck does that mean? I have no fucking claim over you? You are my fucking husband or have you decided that's not what you fucking want any longer?" Blood leaks from the split in his lip, it stings but Hannibal welcomes the pain.

"No, never, Hannibal I chose you. I want you, and in wanting you, I want no one else to even look at you."

"So that fucking equates murder in the middle of the day? I'd have rather you had fucked me in front of him."

"You would've allowed that?"

"Perhaps I wouldn't have. I wouldn't want to be arrested for fucking in public. Though I'd rather that than be arrested as a fucking serial killer."

"I told you, I'm sorry. I was jealous, but Hannibal,"

"No, no buts, this isn't a fucking I'm sorry moment. Perhaps you should fucking leave."

Will's nostrils flare, and suddenly he lunges at Hannibal, knocking them both to the ground. He hits and punches Hannibal anywhere he can reach. Hannibal's nose is bleeding, his lip, the inside of his cheek where it has been bitten when Will's fist had connected with the side of his head for the third time. "You fucking asshole."

No doubt Will can feel Hannibal's erection beneath him, Hannibal resists the urge--for now--to grind up against Will.

"I'm not leaving you." The side of his fist connects with Hannibal's sternum this time. "Don't make me leave you."

"Never, mylimasis, never would I let you fucking leave me."

"I hate you." There's no truth to his words, Hannibal knows that.

"I fucking love you too."

Finally Will notices or finally decides to acknowledge Hannibal's erection, he grinds his hips down, ass pressed firmly against Hannibal's trapped cock. Neither can keep quiet at the sensation--Hannibal groans and Will whines. Will bends down to kiss Hannibal, his face is covered in blood, it's not a bother to either of them. Will laps at the blood where it still drips from Hannibal's nose--it doesn't feel broken, thankfully, Hannibal would hate to have to set it later--he licks across Hannibal's lips, nipping at the split in them, trying to bite it open further.

Hannibal pushes Will up, there is blood smeared all over his face, "Are you fucking trying to wound me, mylimasis?"

"Who knew you had such a dirty mouth Dr. Lecter?" Will rips Hannibal's shirt open, buttons skitter across the hardwood.

"You little fuck, who do you think you are ruining my shirt?"

"Oh, boo-hoo, it's a fucking shirt." Oh, so that's how Will wants to play this.

"A shirt that you know as well as I do cost one hundred and fifty fucking dollars."

"And you have a million more. Don't be a baby, Dr. Lecter." Will grinds down onto Hannibal's cock again, nails digging into Hannibal's chest, dragging down--the scratches are not bleeding now, but he has no doubt that they will be soon.

"You insolent little fucker, you'll be sewing the buttons back on." Hannibal grabs Will's hips, lifting his own hips to press against Will's ass.

Will's nails dig in again, he's panting harshly, "You don't control me."

"Do I not?"

His nails scratch down Hannibal's chest again, nails catching on his nipples, causing him to practically growl. "No, I'm in control of myself."

Hannibal pushes and pulls Will's hips, grinding Will's ass against his cock. "Take your shirt off, mylimasis." Hlannibal's voice is low and predatory.

"Make me." Will leans down, crushing their lips together, reopening the split in Hannibal's lip, fresh blood smears across their lips.

Hannibal's hands snake between them, under Will's t-shirt, caressing his soft abdomen, before pushing him back, and yanking his shirt up. "Do not fucking challenge me again."

Will slides down onto Hannibal's thighs, hastily unbuckles his belt, yanks the button open and the zipper down, he lifts himself up on his knees to push Hannibal's pants and underwear down enough to expose his cock. It's flushed and dripping, foreskin retracted fully to expose the dark, glistening head, Will touches gently with his thumb, before jumping up, "Do not move." He pushes his own pants and underwear down, kicking them across the room. He drops back down onto Hannibal's thighs, scooting down further to take Hannibal into his mouth.

Hannibal's fingers tangle in Will's hair, "Such a good little cocksucker for me."

His throat constricts around Hannibal as he takes him further into his throat, saliva dripping from the corners of his mouth, smearing across Hannibal's skin. He moans around Hannibal's cock, as he slides his fingers into Hannibal's mouth. 

Hannibal licks and sucks and coats them in his saliva--he knows where Will is going with this, and while he would rather grab one of the many bottles of lube stashed around their home, part of his wants it to hurt a little bit, he knows Will's body, knows what he can and cannot handle, being fucked with only spit as lube is no where near the worst thing he's endured because of Hannibal.

Will takes his saliva slick fingers and presses them into himself while focusing his attention on the head of Hannibal's cock, licking and sucking, tip of his tongue sliding into the slit, tasting Hannibal's precum before it can escape.

Hannibal groans and grunts and growls, pulling on Will's hair--to keep him down on Hannibal's cock or because he knows Will likes it, he himself is unsure of.

He pulls off of Hannibal's cock abruptly, saliva drips down the shaft. Will braces himself and sinks down, taking Hannibal inside in one swift motion. The corners of his eyes scrunch up slightly, nostrils flare out--tell tale signs of his discomfort--he grabs at Hannibal's shoulders and chest, nails digging in again, moaning high pitched and breathless.

Will fucking himself on Hannibal's cock, fast and hard. "Don't try to tell me what to do."

The nail marks Will leaves sting, his nose dully aches, his cheek intermittently throbs where he'd bitten through the flesh, but the only thing Hannibal can focus on is the tight, heat engulfing his cock. "Fuck, I will never get used to how tight you are. You will obey me, Will, you will do exactly what I want you to fucking do, or you will not come."

He braces himself--palms flat against Hannibal's chest, knees firmly on the ground on either side of Hannibal's hips--and increases his pace, fucking himself faster on Hannibal's cock, "I will come when I'm ready to come, Dr. Lecter. You cannot control how your cock hits my prostate, you can control how tightly I clench around you. I will come without your permission and you will do nothing about it, unless you'd like to go jerk yourself off. Is that what you want, Dr. Lecter?" The sounds Will makes tell Hannibal he's getting close--Hannibal is determined to make Will come first.

He grabs Will's hips--tight enough to bruise, lifting and dropping Will back onto his cock. "Fuck yourself, Will, come across my skin, smear it the scratches you've left. Let me fucking feel it."

Will bites at his own lips, stifling the pretty sounds he's making.

"No, none of that shit, let me hear you."

Will cries out above him, "Oh, fuck, ah, Hannibal."

Hannibal gets lost for a moment, staring at Will, he looks so beautiful--skin flushed light pink, skin glistening with sweat, that Hannibal wants to taste, his pupils are blown wide and his eye lids are heavy--Hannibal tries to memorize every detail so that he may draw Will this way later.

Will trembles, tightening around Hannibal's cock, "Mmhm, fuck, Hannibal, I'm sorry." Warm, sticky cum spread between them, pooling on Hannibal's stomach. Will slides his hands through it, smearing it through Hannibal's chest hair.

The scratches sting as Will's sweat and semen seep into them, but Hannibal doesn't mind. He bends his knees and thrusts up into Will's, chasing his own release. Will all but collapses onto Hannibal's chest, face pressed into his neck, panting, and moaning still. Hannibal's orgasm comes on quickly as Will's body clenches and relaxes around him. Hannibal cannot resist, he tilts his head up and bites down on the first bit of flesh he can reach--the juncture between Will's neck and shoulder--Hannibal tastes fresh blood, he laps hungrily at it as he releases deep inside of Will, thick, hot spurts of cum, coat Will's insides.

They lay there, unmoving for a long while, Hannibal's cock still inside of Will until it's gone completely soft and slips out on its own. Hannibal's back begins to ache from lying on the hardwood floor, and he can't imagine Will's knees appreciate it either.

"Apologies for getting so angry with you."

"No, Hannibal, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I need to be more careful."

"We have to leave Germany for now, you know that?"

"Yes," Will sighs, "I did really like this house."

"We'll have an even better one wherever we go. Do you have a preference, mylimasis?" Hannibal asks as he pushes himself up into a sitting position, Will seated firmly in his lap, Hannibal's arms wrapped tightly around him.

"No, not really, but wherever we go, Hannibal, I want to get a dog."

"Oh for fucks sake, I suppose it was only a matter of time until we got one, but only one, Will."

"We'll see Dr. Lecter." Will kisses him, barely more than their lips brushing together. "Let's go get cleaned up, this bite mark is killing me, and I think we need to make sure I didn't break your nose."

"Rest assured, mylimasis, my nose is not broken, but you are right, we need to get cleaned up, so I can bandage your neck."

"Wait, Hannibal, you know I didn't mean it when I said that I hated you, right?"

"I know, you were upset and I was not helping the situation."

Will nods against his neck, "Alright, carry me to the bath now, please."

[locke-writes]

Hi Noah! Can I please request a ship for Hannibal, Harry Potter, and John Wick with Asking You Out? I'm an INFP 4w3, PJO Cabin Apollo, house is a mix of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. I try to be kind to everyone and I'm very protective of those close to me. While it doesn't take too much work to earn my loyalty it is nearly impossible to lose it. I'm very much a fan of the arts and my taste in music ranges from Punk Goes to Pachelbel to Postmodern Jukebox. (part 1)

(part 2) I'm very much into the Pinup Goth style. I like to bury myself in my hobbies, which include writing short stories (each one being a   mix of at least 2 genres) only short stories because I'm easily distracted (read: ADHD) and will suffer from creative stifling if I try for anything longer. I also like to replay the same handful of video games over and over again to get the various different dialogues and quest endings.

I ship you with: Frederick Chilton, Ron Weasley, and John Wick

Why: Frederick heavily admires your creativity. He’s very much an academic rather than a creative and to see traits such as this in someone else he’s always found fascinating. Not to mention your music taste intrigues him while mirroring his own in some regards so he feels he’s able to express himself fully around you.

Asking You Out: Frederick can either be the most confident man you’ll ever met or the least confident man. In the case of asking you out, he’s overwhelmingly nervous thinking that you’ll reject him just off the basis of being him. He believes that perhaps it’d be easiest to just shower you with small gifts and slowly win your affections that way rather than to ask you. But he ends up talking himself out of it and whittles it down to presenting you with flowers and nervously begins asking if you’d like to go to dinner.

Why: Ron values loyalty and friendship which he finds in you. Both of you are protective people and Ron truly does understand you in a different way than others might. Whenever you’re writing something new he likes asking you about the plot or even asking if you’d let him be the first to read it because he thinks you are immensely talented.

Asking You Out: He’s gone over it in his head about a thousand times trying to find the right words. He’s had a crush on you for years but actually approaching you to ask for a date is something else entirely. Harry and Hermione have give him countless pep talks and his family have offered to talk to you for him which is rejected straight away. Instead he finds you after class asking you about homework and other things just to try and strike conversation before he blurts out that he’d like to go on a date. It’s not subtle or any way like how he’d practiced but it’s better than not going through with it.

Why: John’s a stoic and solitary man, for good reason. With you however he starts to open up to the world. He wants to earn and keep your loyalty, having that he’d wear it like a badge of honor. He cares for you deeply and wants to make that known in whatever way that he can. This of course could range from small gifts to hurting someone that was bothering you.

Asking You Out: John’s been out of the dating game for a bit of time, not wanting to bring anyone into the world that he exists in. When he meets you all of that goes completely out the window. He’s not quite certain how one asks somebody out anymore and he’s not technically one for being subtle. He just appears one day at your work set out to ask you on a date. Don’t confuse he’s straightforward demeanor for being calm, on the inside John’s panicking that you might turn him down.

[luckyspike]

Hey gang I’m sad about my job being terrible and I need to distract myself

So like. Here’s my ask box.

Ask me anything?

And if you wanna send prompts for any of my fandoms I MIGHT write some fic

Fandoms I definitely know include Good Omens, discworld, and the homestuck intermission

Fandoms I am less familiar with but am willing to take a probably incorrect stab at include Harry Potter

Fandoms I am totally willing to try to write fic about in spite of knowing nothing about them include supernatural, doctor who, Lucifer, Hannibal, and maybe some Disney movies because why not

Go for it

[dreamerinsilico]

Writing meme - 21, 22, 27

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

Could I? Maybe? Probably? Almost everything I do that's not work could conceivably turn into something I don't really do anymore, just based on fatigue, distraction, etc. But would I ever go "no, I'm not doing this anymore," no, absolutely not, nor would I want to. It's the vehicle for the most joy, both given and received, that I have ever found for myself.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

How organized I am highly depends on the scope of the thing I'm working on. I write many more one-shots than I do longer pieces. One-shots don't really get organization past maybe a line in an "ideas" file. Involved pieces get their own dedicated google drive folder, into which goes all the digital notes, outlining, and drafting. Sometimes when I'm stuck somewhere and I need to kill time, I'll physically brainstorm in a notebook (because I almost always have one of those and hate typing on my phone more than strictly necessary), then transfer the notes, or a summary thereof, to my gdocs notes later.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

That's a difficult question. :P Probably Chiyoh, from NBC Hannibal, though? She's simultaneously really, really intense, and really, really mysterious. She doesn't get much screen time in the show, but has very high-impact dialogue and actions that have strong implications for her character and her sense of ethics(/aesthetics) and her relationship with Hannibal Lecter, while rarely ever spelling out anything. So when trying to write her, there's the sense that'd it be very easy to just get it completely wrong, and have no idea (or just completely run afoul of someone else's interpretation of how she would think or behave), which I don't normally have. She's not a character you can just coast on vibes for; to write her well, you have to have a crystal clear idea of why, exactly, she's doing anything she's doing, and you have to commit to it hard, with very little source material to work from.