#and i'm not trying to sound ungrateful

[aurosoulart]

I was on a podcast talking about my job recently weeeeeeeeeeeeee

it quickly covers what it was like to suddenly go from college dropout to art director, the origin story of Figmin, and some hopes and dreams for the future of AR&VR

[vimbry]

it's sad how many reviews and stuff around tmbg seem to centre linnell as the sole dark and creepy writer of the band, never really crediting flansburgh too. do "hide away folk family," "dirt bike," "rabid child," "black ops," "cloisonné" mean nothing to them, smh.

[cherryblossomforest]

Ooo I forgot to update, although I'm not sure anyone would care...😅

It wasn't covid. I figured it out early enough and retested multiple times just to be sure. It was faulty because it was out of date lol. I was rundown though, my body's engine light was on and I needed a few days to focus on getting it semi okay. Back to my normal I guess..

It was nice to just focus on me and everyone left me alone. It felt good to have that time. I've also finally got into a semi-habit of drinking 1.5l of water each day. One step at a time I'm looking after myself better and better!

Also, I'm back to writing my books which feels very good 😌

Off topic. One thing that I've been very aware of is that since going out more the last maybe 2 weeks (memory hiccup) I've been approached by a loooaad of people just complimenting me. On one of the days when I actually dressed up properly, I started counting - I know it sounds big-headed but I did it after venting to my cousin about my confusion because I generally feel ugly and she told me I'm not and to count - and from what I remembered it was 14. I got called a Goddess, someone compared me to Queen Tuya from Prince of Egypt, someone said I should model. There was just a lot going on! When I was telling one of my male friends on another day and he didn't believe me, someone literally came up 2 minutes later to compliment me and he was literally laughing because he thought I was lying. Now I don't think I'm the prettiest person, very far from it, but to be complimented this much does feel nice but it also makes sense why I avoided this for so many years out of fear, because of my history.

Today I took my sister and the niblings to a huge park and I decided to climb up one of the hills (knowing I'll be in bed for the rest of the week lol) and it was crazy hard. At one point I was on all fours climbing up and my niece was laughing calling me crazy 🤪. Anyway, when I finally got down this random guy came up to me when I was sitting next to my sister. He was like "Did you just climb that hill on a crutch?!" When I said yes, he asked me why and I said why not... because why not?? He asked me how old I was and he was like "Any girl that climbs a hill on a crutch like you did is my type of girl, can I get your number?" My brain started spinning because I wasn't expecting it. I can't remember what I said but he was respectful when I declined and kept it moving. Thankfully.

This is the type of attention teenage me struggled with. People don't believe me when I tell them how much attention I get. Now that I'm a healthy weight and not so depressed, it gets overwhelming fast if my trauma brain is turned on. I'm not complaining in the sense that I want people to feel bad because it's never that deep. Like womp womp! But I think I'm realising that as a kid/teen it actually was a lot. It makes sense that my Anorexia was so bad and that I fell so deep into it. As a teenager having grown men treat me like how I'm being treated now was scary, especially with the things I had gone through. Now I'm learning to embrace it and keep it humble because at times I attract this certain type of It Girl and I'm Not about that. Inwardly, I don't always feel pretty but I know for a fact that I have pretty privilege so this isn't something I feel comfortable talking about most times because I get it... people are genuinely like "Shut the hell up you're beautiful why are you complaining?" And I promise it's not supposed to come off like That. It's more me navigating this with an extensive trauma background. Anyway, I often forget I'm mid to late 20s and not a teen, but as I'm getting more and more present in the now I think that's starting to shift which helps a lot! :)

[lightseoul]

i have so much in store for the 2k drabble event but the lack of engagements beyond just likes is lowkey disheartening .

[ophthalmotropy]

I hate being called a perfectionist because it builds up this idea of someone with a work ethic and rigurous self-discipline when I'm... not. It happened after my 100% score on an oral exam, and I sort of accepted it because to admit that I got by because I'm lucky to have a good memory and be able to understand and remember the subject just by paying attention in class some of the time and cramming for 24 hours would be disrespectful to both the professor and her subject. And this isn't to humblebrag about my memory; while I won't be falsely modest and deny I'm proud of my relative ease with academics, I genuinely wish so badly I could work steadily and constantly towards a goal instead of relying on wits and adrenaline at the last possible second—most of all because it doesn't work all of the time; I failed an exam recently because I couldn't get off the computer.

[onesaltyerik]

Mother: I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for a breakfast!

Me: cool, thanks! (expects her to arrive at around 8-9am)

Mother: (6am, two hours after I fell asleep) I'm here! Let's get breakfast! (Nothing is open except the gas station.)

(She doesn't want to go in. She's tired. Like genuinely this woman has not slept in what looks like days. She doesn't want to eat anything either because her 'blood sugar is too high'. I offer her my blood sugar medications so she can eat something {we take the same stuff at the same dose} she says no. I go in and buy my own birthday breakfast from the gas station. I buy sibling's breakfast as well since they had no idea what the plan was and were kinda dragged along and thought that mom would buy them breakfast so they didn't bring their money.) Me:..............I'm giving you the bill for the kiddo. Mom: why? Me: (why do you think?!)

(We get back to my place. She insists I try on the clothes she brought for me. She does not want to go inside the house. I have to try on the clothes in the car. Patience is fading, social battery non existent, my mornings meds have not kicked in. I finish trying on the clothes and tell her I'm going to bring them inside. She wants the plastic bag back? The one she brought them in? Because it's expensive? Said bag has a broken zip and will not close. I do not understand. I take kiddo with me to my house and tell mom to nap in the car. She does not want to. NOW, she wants to go in the house with me. I have roomates who are still asleep. It's only 7am now. I am only going to take kiddo with me cause I know they know my roomates well enough to be okay with them suddenly showing up. I insist she takes a nap and that I will bring her some coffee. She says it will make her blood sugar go up. I tell her I will bring her coffee with no sugar or milk. She still insists it will make her blood sugar go up. I offer her my medicine once more, she says she's allergic. {?} I take kiddo inside with me. I'm not dealing with this at this hour of the morning.)

(Kiddo spills the fuckin TEA, mother is definitely losing it and did not tell kiddo about the morning plans. Did not tell kiddo about them being invited to breakfast and just dragged them along. Had told kiddo to be the one to call me to wake me up because "he's grumpy when he wakes up and I don't want to be the one to be snapped at". Dude. Dude what? Kiddo tells that both mom and dad are now fully diabetic. And refuse to take any medications for it. Or regulate anything themselves. Cool. Great. {sarcasm}.)

(Kiddo and I hang out with the one roomate who is awake and put new clothes away, got some sick hunting shirts from grandpa with awesome deer and elk printed onto them. And some woven wool coats. The three of us eat our gas station breakfast and coffee and talk about kiddo's new fav book that is incredibly gay and hell yeah good for them! We talk about anime we both like, stories about how we made friends in preschool-gradeschool-middeschool and how it sucks to be an adult {kiddo just turned 18 and adulthood punched them in the face and they hate it and I don't blame them}. I tell kiddo they are more than welcome to come live with me if mom and dad are too much to deal with. Group hug. Kiddo goes home with mom once mom has finished her supposed nap. {I don't think she actually slept in the car, I don't think she slept at all.})

So that was my birthday morning. Woooo. I guess.

[wigglebox]

.

[baishouqijia]

ooc. just a lil life update cause i despawned despite having 3 weeks free. i still have my job, and will probably return next week. i know i didn't write anything that i wanted to but i actually really needed the break. it's the longest i've had off work in the past 5 years so i spent the entire time decompressing and just loafing. it was great, genuinely.

[campingwiththecharmings]

so over the last week or so i've noticed several people liking almost every fic on my masterlist and, while i am appreciative of the interaction, i just wanted to take a second and ask: if you read something i wrote and enjoyed it, would you maybe at least consider reblogging it? it only takes a couple of extra seconds and is really so helpful and appreciated ❤️

[beyblaiddyd]

I know it comes from a very theoretically """nice""" place but there's nothing that infuriates me more than when i'm at the grocery store to get something heavy and when i'm picking it up some dude who's scrawnier than i am feels the need to try to help me like oh do you need help? :( idk did me picking it up without asking for help or having any trouble clue you in that i might be fine. if you're going to condescend to me by imagining i'm incapable of carrying an object i'm literally currently carrying at least have more muscles than i do

[chronomally]

Is Han Ju-won going to handcuff them together again or was that just like a one-time thing

[rollercoasterwords]

i am once again asking people not to share my writing if u aren't going to credit me!

this is gonna be a bit of a rant i think. sorry but also i'm just fed up at this point lol

i've already. mentioned this or talked about it a few times on my blog but like. here's the ~official post~ i guess because over the past year i have lost count of the amount of times i have come across a post--usually on twitter or tiktok--that is quite literally just a direct quote from one of my stories copied and pasted without a single reference to where it came from or who wrote it.

so like, quick reminder:

this is not a quote.

"adding quotation marks to it does not make a quote."

"a quote is only a quote if you QUOTE THE PERSON WHO IT CAME FROM." - rae, @rollercoasterwords tumblr blog

does that make sense???? PLEASE tell me that makes sense. to make it even clearer:

if you are going to quote my writing in a tweet, please include AT LEAST my ao3 username (rollercoasterwords) and also, ideally, the fic title that you are quoting from. if you want to throw a link to whatever ur quoting from, great! but like. at the very least, all i am asking is that you add "quote" - @rollercoasterwords on ao3

if you are going to quote my writing in a tiktok, please include AT LEAST my ao3 username either clearly in the video itself or clearly at the very beginning of the caption, where anyone looking at the video will be able to see it immediately. please don't just put credit in a tag at the very end of a long caption where it isn't clear which tag is the fic title the quote is coming from; please don't just put it in a comment that not everyone will open and find; please don't just put it in a response to someone else's comment asking you what fic the quote is from. and please don't put no credit at all--i've seen tiktoks of my own writing without even quotation marks to let people know that it's a quote! like...at that point you're just plagiarizing my writing for...what? tiktok views? like. ok.

other writers might feel differently about how you credit them when quoting them, but for me--this is what i'm asking. just. at the very least, clearly include my ao3 username, so that people know who wrote the thing that you're sharing.

and like. i think there's this idea that you're doing me a favor by sharing my writing, in any capacity, on the internet. and at the risk of sounding harsh, i want to be very clear: that isn't true. if you are sharing my writing without any indication that it is even mine, then you are not doing me a favor. you are taking something that i worked very hard on and using it to get a few likes for yourself. i know that it's fanfiction, and i know that once i post something on the internet it is, to a certain extent, outside of my control. but like...this isn't something i'm profiting off of. it's not something i'm trying to get the most views possible on. the only reason i'm sharing it on ao3 is so that people who appreciate it can find it, and so that i can connect with those people who take the time out of their day to leave a comment or send a message saying "hey, i loved this, thanks for sharing it!" i would rather have only 5 people see my writing and like it and genuinely connect with me over it than have 5000 people see my writing and like it and never have a single one of them know who actually wrote it.

anyway. i'm not trying to sound ungrateful, y'know? i do truly, sincerely appreciate that there are people out there who have been moved enough by my writing to want to share it with others. but this isn't a numbers thing for me, ok? the amount of people looking at a thing i wrote is not what makes writing worth it to me, and i would truly, genuinely, just rather not have a single person share my writing on twitter or tiktok than have like. fifty people share it without crediting me.

[scare-ard--sleigh]

also saying this is so earnest that it makes me wanna vom but i like,,,, miss being in a fandom where people like my ocs as much as i do wwweehhh

[mobileleprechaun]

The Pea

I'm very hung up on the symbolism of this dish, particularly with how it pertains to Eddie and his episode of severe emotional distress.

Eddie was all alone in his post office when we found him. Although he refused to state this outright, it was clear he was feeling excluded and forgotten by his neighbors. We have often seen him pushed to the margins of the community, only sought out for his utility to the others.

Barnaby openly delights in scaring and tormenting him, Howdy overworks him without sparing a second thought to his needs, Julie only calls upon him when she someone who's easy to drag into a game, Sally refuses to address him by name and treats his attempts at social connection with disdain, Wally and Poppy only have fleeting interactions with him, and Frank hides his burgeoning fondness behind a facade of cordial indifference.

The pea is alone, too, isolated on the stark white backdrop of the plate.

"Take care not to place them too close together." Even if there are more "peas" at this party, Eddie sits alone in Home's chair, denied the basic creature comforts of intimacy as he watches the others mingle.

The pea is also a pittance to Eddie. It is presented to him right after Sally's single, small attempt to show him goodwill, which she only bothers to do because it's a holiday.

She still does not address him by his name. The gesture, the pea, and the seat are all mere crumbs – too little, too late for a neglected outsider who struggles to make sense of the lonely, awful torment of his life in this Neighborhood, one which he cannot properly articulate for fear of sounding ungrateful.

Home stares him down from his lonely seat. Its presence is monolithic and ominous, a towering figure that only makes him feel more small and alone.

Is it intruding on his mind on purpose, trying to hurt him? Personally, I don't think so, though it still remains to be seen. His words to Frank at the end are telling, though. "I want to go home."

Whether it means to or not, Home torments him with its very being. It's both the elephant and the room. Eddie is an outsider. Eddie can't remember where he's from. Eddie sleeps in a post office after thanklessly running himself ragged every day. Home is the very reason for this holiday, and Eddie is homeless. It's staring him down because it's a symbol of everything he aches for, but cannot have.

Eddie is the single pea on Home's plate. Take care not to place him too close to anyone else.

[strangersteddierthings]

"What's wrong?" Robin asks, bumping her arm against his as she joins him leaning against the counter, staring out the front door of Family Video.

Steve doesn't bother to lie. Robin would know, she always does. "I'm not sure wrong is the right word, but it's, it's something."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Yeah," he says, taking a quick glance around. It's just after 11pm on Saturday. They've got another hour of work before they can officially close, but Hawkins closes down at 9. The store is empty currently, and since they're facing the door, they'll know if someone comes in. "I just don't know- I don't-"

"Gather your words. Speak when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere," Robin says, and it speaks volumes that she didn't call him dingus. Steve's never upset by the nickname, not really, but sometimes, when the conversation is heavy, he can't deal with nicknames. Especially not ones that are meant teasingly now but started as an insult.

"I feel- I feel ungrateful and, like, selfish, because I'm... I'm not happy with Eddie," Steve says, then immediately frowns because that's not right. It's not wrong, either, but it's. "I'm not unhappy with Eddie. I love him. I love him so much, Robin."

"I know you do. It's disgusting."

"And I got into this relationship knowing what Eddie's like. I love him 'cause of those things, not in spite of-"

"You don't have to convince me you love him."

"Right. Right. It's just. It's like, I thought, I don't know, that I wouldn't have to always be the guy?" Steve says, and it's followed by such a long pause that he looks over. It startles a laugh out of him at how much Robin looks like him right now. Confused, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. That's his perplexed expression, and it's mirrored on Robin's face now.

Well. Not now because he laughed so she's glaring at him.

"Sorry. It was like looking into a mirror for a moment there."

She wrinkles her nose at him and says, "What do you mean 'always be the guy'?"

He lets out a sigh. "I just mean- Eddie's the first guy I've ever dated. And there was, like, unwritten rules when dating girls. Don't give me that face, I already know the rant about straights and their het-ro-norman-whatever-"

"Heteronormativity."

"Yes, that. I know it's bad, working on unlearning it, etcetera, etcetera. Can I just get through this using the words I do have?"

"Yes. Sorry."

He waves off her apology and continues, "So, the unwritten but absolute rules of straight dating. The guy asks. The guy plans the date. He pays, if it's something that requires money. He gets the door, offers his jacket if it's cold, gives the flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day and- sorry. The guy does all that. I do all that. And I just. I want to not, not have to?"

Robin's eyes soften and she gives a sad smile. "Eddie doesn't do those things?"

Steve frowns. "Not- he's done some of those things but it's not... It's never been romantic. Never felt... intentionally romantic. Which is why I feel so ungrateful and selfish. 'Cause Eddie's not a romantic. Not like I am. And I shouldn't expect him to be!"

She frowns. "But you don't expect him to be."

"I mean, yeah. I don't. Which just makes this worse, right? Because Eddie tries. In his own way. And I'm still..."

"What does Eddie do to try?"

"He loans me jackets when I'm cold. And it's- it's like a throwback to the upside down. He'll fold it all nice and then throw it at me full force. Like with the battle vest," Steve smiles at the memory, despite his sour mood.

"That doesn't sound very romantic. That sounds like an inside joke. He could do that same thing while not dating you and it wouldn't be weird."

"Can't an inside joke be romantic?"

Robin nods as she turns, back to the counter so she can hop up on it. "Can be. And I guess if you find get pelted in the face by jackets romantic, that's your kink."

"Why do I talk to you?" Steve groans, and Robin shrugs. "Anyway, I guess I just... I want to be the one taken care of, sometimes, but not just when- God, I'm so selfish, aren't I?" He paces away from the counter, running a hand through his hair.

Eddie's a good boyfriend. He listens when Steve rambles about sports and stats, asking questions and actually engages in conversation. He takes care of Steve when a migraine leaves him all but useless; gets him his meds and water and combs his fingers through Steve's hair softly until it lulls Steve to sleep. Eddie pays attention enough to know the little things about Steve that he doesn't say out loud.

"Not just when?" Robin prompts, and Steve realizes he quit talking.

"Not just when I'm hurt. I want doors held for me, and for him to plan a romantic night, either out or in! And I- I want him to give me his jacket by wrapping it around my shoulders like I do for him."

"I'm going to say something, and you aren't allowed to be upset by it."

Steve nods.

"You have to tell him. Eddie's not gonna know you want these things unless you say so."

He nods again, because he knows that. He does. It's just... "I got with him knowing he wasn't a romantic person. I don't want- I don't know how to say it without making it sound like I want him to change. Or make him feel like he's not enough, or that he's a bad boyfriend for not having done this and-"

"Steve! Jesus, now who's the mirror? It's Eddie. He loves you. He'll listen. Even as you fumble your way through an explanation. A conversation is not the make or break of this relationship."

Steve swallows even though it feels like there's stones piling up in his stomach. A single conversation broke his last relationship, but Eddie's not Nancy.

"Yeah. You're right. I think I'm just... I'm afraid of making Eddie feel that same way Nancy made me feel, when she called us bullshit. I was blinded-sided by it all and I don't, I can't do that to Eddie."

"You won't. 'Cause this situation is different. You love Eddie, and Eddie loves you, and that's real and true. I think it would hurt Eddie more to think there's this whole other category of shit he could be doing for you, but isn't, 'cause he doesn't even know you'd like it, much less want it."

Steve nods as she speaks. It's all true, and he feels less like there are stones in his stomach. "Thanks, Bobbin. I don't- I might give it a few days before I talk to Eddie about it, but I will."

"You better, dingus," she hopes off the counter and looks at the clock, groaning when she sees it's still not midnight. "Think Keith will kill us if we close early?"

"No way. He'd have to cover all our shifts until he can hire replacements. We're too valuable to him to die."

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems

[1l0v3y0ud0ntl3av3me]

「YANDERE VILLIAN × FEM! READER」

A/N: This is for the girlies, sorry to the other pooks. This one is a bit intense. In emotional sense. Technically this guy is an bnha oc of mine saur..

【DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT🕊】

TW: Degrading, misogyny, non-con, implied long time non-con, betrayal from friend, two-faced mf, etc.

You couldn't take it anymore. The constant violation, the relentless manipulation—it was all too much. You had to expose Jun, had to make someone believe you. So, you went to your friend, your confidante, and poured out your heart. You told her everything: the way Jun would use his Quirk on you, how he would force himself on you, and the way he would leave you feeling empty and used.

As you cried, she listened, her eyes wide with shock and disbelief. When you finished, she promised to help you. You clung to that promise, desperate for someone to be on your side.

The next time Jun and your friend met, he noticed the tension between you two. He could see the disdain in her eyes, and he knew he had to act fast. With a smile on his face, he pulled her aside, his voice low and soothing. "Hey, I've heard you've been talking to my girlfriend," he said, feigning concern. "I'm worried she's got the wrong impression. She's just jealous, you know how women can be."

Your friend, believing his side of the story, turned on you. She confronted you, accusing you of lying and causing trouble. Betrayed and heartbroken, you were left with no one to turn to.

Unbeknownst to you, Jun had been using his Quirk on her, subtly influencing her thoughts and emotions, making her doubt your story. He enjoyed the power he held over her, and it only fueled his desire to control and dominate.

One day, when you were alone with Jun, he decided you needed a 'reminder' of your place. He forced you into an empty classroom, slamming the door shut behind you. His eyes were filled with a mix of anger and desire, and you knew there was no escaping what was to come.

He began by mocking you, calling you ungrateful and saying how much you enjoyed his advances. "You're always so tight, like you want it," he sneered. You tried to protest, but he silenced you with a rough kiss, his tongue invading your mouth as his hands roamed your body.

Jun then used his Quirk on you, sending shivers down your spine and making your body betray you. "Looks like your body can't help itself, huh?" he teased, as your nipples hardened and your pussy grew wet with desire. He tore off your clothes, leaving you completely naked before him.

"You're such a tight little slut," he growled, his voice thick with lust. He bent you over a desk, your hands pressed against the cold surface as he positioned himself behind you.

He thrust into you without warning, his thick cock stretching you wide open. You cried out in pain, but he didn't care. "Shut up, you love it," he snapped, as he began to pump in and out of you, his grip on your hips tightening with each thrust.

"You were made for this," he snarled, slapping your ass. You felt humiliated and violated, his cock filling you up, the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room.

He forced you to look at the sight of his cock entering you, your face contorting in pain. Jun's eyes gleamed with satisfaction as he fucked you harder and faster, his cock sliding in and out of your tight hole.

He was relentless, driving you closer and closer to the edge. You could feel your orgasm building up inside you, even though you desperately wished it wouldn't. Jun leaned down, his hot breath against your ear as he whispered, "Cum for me, [Name]."

You clenched your teeth, trying to hold back, but it was no use. Jun's words, combined with the intense pleasure he was inflicting, sent you over the edge. You cried out as an orgasm ripped through your body, your pussy clenching around his cock.

This only served to push Jun over the edge as well. He groaned loudly, his cock pulsating inside you as he came, filling you with his hot seed. He pulled out, leaving you on the desk, your body shaking, and your mind reeling from the violation.

Jun stood over you, his cock glistening with your fluids, before licking his lips. He leaned down and trailed his tongue along your cheek, smirking as he said, "Remember who you belong to, hm?"