#and i'm like 'the media wants us to be like this and divide us'

[rwby-confess]

...😮‍💨 Alright time to get back to work..

I'm gonna put my major opinion of Rwby as a series here because unfortunately I feel like with a lot of my takes and my many issues I have with the shows writing, some might wrongly assume I consider this show to be dog shit.

While Rwby is a series I have a variety of problems (story writing, world building, villain writing, some characters feeling like cardboard- you get the point.) that does not inherently mean this show is unwatchable.

It is.

And if you actually allow yourself to both be be critical but also understand that this show is not going to be Shakespeare you can appreciate it.

Being a critic and loving a show are not mutual, it's through mentalities that don't want to hear criticisms and use logical fallacies to avoid hearing them by dismissing them as nothing more than in which we gain that extremely flawed understanding.

RWBY is not bad, but it is mediocre. There is a lot to love about this show about also a lot that makes you want to rip your hair out. But if we want to actually have conversations about this show we need to discuss the good and bad instead of dividing ourselves like children who don't want to share.

This is why I have a very harsh view on how you present a rewrite of Rwby. To act like your fixing it is acting as if you were there when the idea came into being, but we weren't, so if you ask me a rewrite should be both a reinterpretation and a sign of respect to what came before.

RWBY is a show that despite my criticism I do think deserves a second go around and if anyone asks me if they should watch it, I'm always going to say yes.

Because whether it's utter dog shit, pure perfection, or painfully mediocre like Dante's "the divine comedy", there is always something in media that we can pull from.

Now that's gonna sound rich coming from my mouth

RWBY, is an alright show. And as much as it infuriates me with certain story choices and how characters "progress"

It's still a show I love... STILL GONNA CRITICIZE THE FUCK OUT OF IT THOUGH, I AM THIS FANDOMS FUCKING BOOGEY MAN AND I WILL BE CHASED OUT BY TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS-

Apologies this confession is just word vomit and incoherent I just want to say this because its been on my head and I am very tired so I'm fucking off to sleep.

Have a good day everyone and FUCK OFF-

Confession #940

Wee

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

ngl being a trans man and being sidelined in the media and being treated as 'brainwashed little girls' or 'privileged aggressive men' pisses me off so much, especially with how the gender binary and essentialism is wrapped up in progressive or patronising language. it is depressing to see the media portray trans women as predators, nonbinary people as 'special little snowflakes' and trans men as brainwashed girls generally forgotten about. none of us are benefitting from this except the societal structure that the media is a part of. I do not gain privilege as a man because my transness exists. I don't know if it's just me, but there is an unspoken level of transandrophobia that people just don't want to acknowledge.

[wild-at-mind]

If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.

[martian-astro10]

Solar return observations - part 6

Sun in 10th house indicates that you'll be very focused on your career this year. You could also start looking for a job, do your first internship, choose your major, apply for a master's or a PhD, basically anything that acts as a stepping stone in your career progression. Look at the aspects to see whether that process will be easy or difficult.

Jupiter in 1st, especially conjunct ascendant is the REAL glow up placement. This is the year in which your talents will be more visible to others. Check where Jupiter is in the natal chart to know where you'll feel lucky. For ex- if Jupiter is in the 5th house in the birth chart, then you may find yourself going on dates, partying more than before and taking more risks.

Gemini ascendant... this shit is so good, better than leo fr. You will express more of your extroverted side this year, this will happen even if you're the shyest person EVER. Talking to people, networking, posting more on social media, and just putting yourself out there will be the highlight of the year. You will also have an easier time making friends and people may think you're funny and charming.

Moon in 4th, in my opinion, is a stronger indication of getting married than any other placement, a lot of people around me are planning to get married this year and almost all of them have their moon in 4th. This shows a focus on family, you will want to spend more time with them and rebuild your connection. Any major fights that may have happened previously will be resolved.

Neptune in 10th can be a difficult year when it comes to choosing a path, you may have many options or none at all. This can indicate either over or underestimating your abilities. You should be really careful when choosing a job as career exploitation is something that I've often seen with this (Happened to me as well). If you're confused between options then try a little bit of everything before making the final decision.

Jupiter in retrograde motion brings good results with the speed of a fucking sloth, I kinda hate it. If it's in the 11th, you will get everything that you wish for, but just 10 days before your next birthday. If it's in the 9th, you may get that acceptance letter 5 days before the session starts, very "things happen at the end moment" placement.

Do not make travel plans when chiron is in the 9th house, they will almost always end up getting cancelled. I missed so many flights the year I had this. One of my friends who travels a lot for her job could not do so in the year she had this, like, a fucking war, a pandemic, tsunami, you name it, she faced it. Even if you do somehow manage to overcome all the obstacles and reach the destination....bad experience, you'll start hating the place.

Saturn in 6th can be such a sexy placement when accompanied by positive aspects. Slay in your career ✅, slay health ✅, finally putting that gym membership to use ✅, getting your life together ✅. I have literally seen people do a complete 180 the year they had this. Routine isn't boring, it's peaceful.

Mars in cancer and constantly sustaining physical injuries 😭😭, bro, LISTEN, I fell from my cycle and then this fucking car HIT me, and then I had to get fucking hospitalised AND GO TO OFFICE THE NEXT DAY, istg, I'm about to kill myself. I'm covered in bruises. If you have this, wear a space suit at all times, I.AM.NOT.JOKING.

Mercury in 11th is such an underrated placement, it brings good results in so many areas; education, friendships, networking. The connections that you make throughout the year will help you achieve your goals the next year, from what I have seen. If it's making mostly positive aspects then you will be in the spotlight this year.

Divider by @strangergraphics

© martian-astro10 All rights reserved, 2025

[i-messed-up-big-time]

Lonely Birthday - Zayne

Zayne x Non Mc/Reader

a/n: here is Zayne's part! i hope you guys like it, gonna start working on sylus' soon, once im done drowning in assignments 😵‍💫

divider creds: @/cafekitsune

Tags: angst, happy ending, female pronouns, reader is not MC, female pronouns, cursing, reader is on their period, use of pet names (honey, my love), mentions of feeling insecure

word count: 3.4k

masterlist

Xavier Rafayel Sylus Caleb

Who knew that one could feel lonely even when they were with someone.

You were at Zayne's place for the weekend, wanting to spend some quality time with him, which is very rare with your conflicting schedules but you guys have always made it work somehow.

With his busy schedule you were never the one to get upset about him forgetting a few dates, he always managed to make it up to you.

You always kept quiet about your birthday, never too crazy about getting a lot of attention on just one specific day out of the year. You just liked spending your birthday with your loved ones doing something simple and eating some cake.

You were sprawled out on the couch, your mind giving up from all the paperwork you had to do. Being a business owner was no easy work, the endless amount of paperwork and business meetings always left your head reeling.

You had decided to take a much needed break, and that's how you ended up on the couch.

Bored out of your mind you scrolled through you social media, coming across an adorable video of a cat, you were about to send it to Zayne when you decided it would be more fun to show it to him in person, that way you could also get him to take a break with you too.

Getting up, you made your to his study. You saw him focused on the screen, typing away like a man on a mission.

He noticed you lingering by the door and beckoned you over to him. Happily making your way over you show him your phone screen.

A small smile makes it's way onto his face and the sight of the cat.

"Take a short break with me. You've been cooped up in here for hours."

You grabbed his chair and turned it so it was facing you and not his computer screen. Zayne opened his mouth to reject your offer but you were one step ahead of him.

"I have some of your favourite desserts in the kitchen."

He let out a small chuckle, grabbing your hand and taking you to the kitchen where his desserts await him.

You giggled at how cute he was, always ready to chow down on dessert.

You guys were silently enjoying the desserts together, his presence bringing you comfort.

But what would life be if it didn't interrupt your time together.

Zayne's pager went off. You let out a sigh of disappointed when he gave you that look that said 'I'm sorry but I have to go,' he kissed your forehead and quickly got ready to go to the hospital.

You walked him to the door, pulling him in for a quick kiss before bidding farewell to your ever so busy boyfriend.

The house was no even more quiet than it was before, you didn't want to be upset about being alone on one of your very rare work from home days.

If you thought your day couldn't get any better, you were in for a treat.

You felt all too familiar pain in your lower abdomen.

Letting out a little scream of annoyance, you made your way to the room you and Zayne share. Grabbing a shirt out of his closet and a pair of comfy sweats, you made your way to the shower.

●・○・●・○・●・

The shower was exactly what you needed.

Zayne, being the ever caring boyfriend, always had the bathroom stocked with all your feminine necessities for situations like this.

You dried up your hair and went straight to the bed, wanting to snuggle into the sheets.

You shot your secretary a message, she would handle everything in your absence.

Going to be spending the next few days with Zayne. Also just got my period so I'll be away from work, call me if there's anything urgent. If not, I expect you to handle everything.

Putting your phone down, you got comfortable and let sleep take over. It was nice and peaceful, almost like the calm before the storm.

●・○・●・○・●・

The next day you woke up to Zayne's side of the bed being cold, indicating that he had yet to return from work.

Letting out a sigh of disappointment you decided to freshen up and make some breakfast.

As you walked to the kitchen your eyes caught the date.

Oh, it's my birthday today.

You let a small smile grace your face, knowing that you and Zayne would at least spend the day together when he gets back, he always makes sure you're at the forefront of his priorities, outside of work that is.

You turned on some music and started humming along as you maneuvered around the kitchen. Just as you finished cooking you heard the door open.

You peeked your head out the kitchen and noticed Zayne taking off his shoes and coat. You made your way towards him but he just rushed off to your shared bedroom, not even a word of a greeting to you.

"What the heck was that?"

You were confused, you know Zayne had his off days but he wouldn't go as far as to you ignore you.

Following him to the room, you found him seated at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

Carefully making your way over to him, you softly called out to him.

"Zayne? Are you doing ok honey?"

You knelt in front of him, trying to get a look at his face. Reaching up you tried to move his hands from his face, but you were taken aback by the way he flinched away from your touch.

He got up from his spot and made his way to the bathroom, you were stuck in your spot for a moment before you jumped up and followed him.

"Zayne tell me what's wrong."

You asked, and what you got in response was something you never expected from him.

"Can you just leave me alone right now? I don't need you following me around like a lost puppy."

His voice was cold but you still pushed a bit, not wanting to give up.

"I just wanted to know—"

"I need you to stop talking already. I've had a long night and I'd prefer if I could just have some peace and quiet for once."

He cut you off, and as much as you would hate to admit it, you felt hurt by his words.

Without another word, you quietly left his room and went back to the kitchen.

You tried to eat the breakfast you made but your appetite was ruined. To make matters worse your cramps came back full force, you clutched your stomach in pain, silently cursing the gods for making you a woman.

Great, just great. Could this day get any worse?

Famous last words.

●・○・●・○・●・

You later got a call from your assistant about some urgent matters.

Apparently, some of your board of directors were colluding with your rival company and selling confidential information about a product that was yet to be released to the public, mainly due to the fact that it still had major faults that could be damaging.

You made yourself at home in the guest bedroom, not wanting to see Zayne in fear he might get upset at you again.

You were a strong and independent business woman, but at the end of the day you were still just a young woman still learning to navigate through life. Zayne's words had you feeling sad and a bit insecure, your mind constantly bouncing back and forth between finding a solution for the damage the information leak will cause your company and the fact that you might just be an inconvenience to Zayne.

Sighing, you decided to grab your bags and head to your apartment instead. Knowing if you stuck around here any longer you might just fall into a deeper pit of despair.

●・○・●・○・●・

A couple of hours had passed by and not once did Zayne message or call you.

So much for not falling into a deeper pit of despair.

Your period was making your emotions ten times worse than they already were.

You sat on your couch, you felt so lonely. Your day was just not going well, and you didn't even have any hopes that it would get better. It was just one problem after another.

You felt that familiar sting in your eyes, and instead of holding it in like you normally do, you let it all out.

Lately you've been having such bad days, it was like someone put some evil eye on you. You wouldn't doubt it if that was the case.

You felt tired after crying for so long, you didn't want to think of it this way but this was by far your worst birthday ever.

I just wanted to have a nice and relaxing day with Zayne.

Your lip quivered as a new wave of tears streamed down your face at the thought of your boyfriend, and how he had acted earlier today. You wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that he probably just had a bad day, but you're still human at the end of the day. You still get hurt even if the other person didn't mean to hurt you.

Before you could wallow in sadness even more you got a call from your best friend, Tara. Needing a distraction you answered the call.

"Happy birthday bestie!"

You let out a little chuckle, her happiness rubbing off on you a little.

"Thanks Tara, how have you been? Hunter's Association keeping you busy?"

Your best friend was a data analyzer for the Hunter's Association, her job kept her busy so getting the chance to talk or meet up with her was rare.

"It's been busy, but we got to go home early today! Apparently one of the new hunters shares the same birthday as you!"

"Oh really, that's nice."

"Yeah, it was last minute but she wanted us to get some hotpot together, so that's where we're headed right now. Oh wait, is that your boyfriend?"

You sat up like you got shocked.

Zayne? What is he doing? Did he not even notice you left his place?

Your mind was running a mile a minute thinking about all the possibilities.

"Oh, I didn't think he knew MC. Why isn't he with you right now?"

Tara's question had you feeling upset and annoyed.

So he can push me away when I just wanted to know if he was okay, but now he's out celebrating someone else's birthday? While completely forgetting about mine?

"Oh I've been caught up at work so we planned on celebrating another day."

You said after a moment of silence, Tara seemed to have bought your excuse.

"Okay, as long as you knew he was coming here. I'll keep an eye out for anyone trying to get too cozy with him, you can count on me!"

Tara exclaimed, she always had your back no matter what. Which is why you felt bad about lying, but this was something you needed to deal with yourself.

You wrapped up your call with Tara, and decided you would just spend the evening on your own.

You freshened up a bit and stepped out to grab some of your favourite take out and desserts.

●・○・●・○・●・

You settled onto your couch and pulled up a show that has been sitting in your watchlist for a while now, finally getting the time to watch it.

You silently ate your take out, the show was interesting enough to keep you distracted from your depressing thoughts.

That didn't last for long though, when you got to your dessert your mind started to wander as the dessert reminded you of your boyfriend who was a fiend for anything sweet.

You let out a sad chuckle as you took a bite of the dessert before pushing it away, no longer in the mood to have anything sweet.

You grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the couch and decided to get comfy. Today was draining and now you just needed to become one with the couch.

The sound of the TV lulled you to sleep, the day being wiped from your brain as you fell into a dreamless sleep.

●・○・●・○・●・

At MC's dinner, Tara was seated across from Zayne. She eyed him down, wondering why he wouldn't just stay at home and wait for you instead of being here.

She wasn't one to comment on what people do with their free time, but it was odd to see him here, and for MC's birthday when it's just coworkers.

For the entirety of the dinner Tara silently observes him and MC, obviously he would never do anything to hurt you, but one could never say the same about other people.

Near the end of the dinner, Tara pulled out the gift she had prepared for you, knowing Zayne would be seeing you sooner than she'll see you she handed it to him.

He gave her a confused look as he eyed the gift bag.

"It's Y/N's birthday gift. You'll see her sooner than I will so can you give it to her?"

If it wasn't for Tara paying close attention, she would have missed the way his eyes widened just a fraction before silently nodding and taking the gift, bidding her farewell before rushing out.

I've never seen that man run out so fast.

Tara thought, turning her attention to MC as they made plans to go to karoke.

●・○・●・○・●・

Zayne had never felt as disappointed in himself more than he did today.

He not only had been extremely rude to you this morning, he also forgot your birthday.

He had no excuse, no matter how stressful or busy work got, he should've at least remembered what today was.

Rushing back home, he looked around for you. He couldn't find you anywhere, it seemed like you hadn't been home for a while. Zayne also noticed your keys weren't there either.

Did she go somewhere? But where could she have gone.

He racked his brain for any ideas of where you could have gone, taking a shot he decided to go to your apartment first. Hoping that you would be there.

●・○・●・○・●・

Once he got to your apartment, he hesitated to open the door. Unsure of whether you would want to see him or not.

He gathered some courage and opened the door, the sight in front of him had his chest hurting.

There you were, curled up on the couch with take out containers and a barely eaten dessert on the coffee table in front of you.

It seemed you had fallen asleep watching a show.

Zayne carefully made his way towards you, picking up the garbage to throw it out, and then packing the dessert away into the fridge.

After cleaning up he made his way back to the living room and knelt down in front of you. Immediately, he noticed how your eyes were red and puffy with a wet spot on the pillow indicating that you had cried yourself to sleep.

His chest felt tight looking at you like that. You were always so strong, barely ever giving into negative feelings, but I guess everyone has their limits.

Zayne gently gathered you into his arms and made his way towards your room. After tucking you in he decided to wash up and join you, hoping you would forgive him for neglecting you all day.

He slipped into bed quietly as to not wake you up, he pulled you in closer to him so that your head was against his chest and his arms were wrapped around your waist.

"I'm so sorry my love. When you wake up I'll make it up to you, I promise."

He placed a gentle kiss at the top of your head, letting himself relax with you in his arms.

●・○・●・○・●・

You woke up to arms wrapped around you, your brain not having caught up to the situation allowed your body to snuggle closer in to the warmth that surrounded you.

Wait didn't I fall asleep on the couch?

You shot up, or well tried to, the arms holding you restricted you from moving too much.

Looking up you came face to face with Zayne, seeing him brought back all of your feelings from yesterday and you tried to wiggle out of his grasp, only for him to tighten his hold even more.

"Stop moving so much and get some more rest."

His eyes were still closed as he spoke.

It irritated you that he could just act like everything was ok. You continued to move around until you finally escaped his grasp, darting straight to the bathroom.

You locked yourself in, not wanting him to come in. You didn't want to just forget it all and move on, it wasn't fair.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't hear Zayne knocking on the door.

"My love, are you ok? Can you please open the door?"

He spoke softly, as if he didn't want to upset me further.

You felt like you were being childish, but you wanted to ignore him the same way he ignored your requests about whether he was ok, and lets not get started about him forgetting your birthday.

You quickly freshened up and opened the door, Zayne stood in front of the door, patiently waiting for you.

He was about to say something but you just slid past him, not wanting to hear him out.

Desperate, Zayne grabbed your arm and pulled you to his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist to prevent you from walking away from him.

You wiggled in his hold. You felt your resolve to ignore him slipping the longer you stayed in his embrace.

He slowly moved backwards towards the bed, sitting down on it with you now in his lap.

You gave in and started crying, Zayne rocked you back and forth while rubbing a hand soothingly on your back.

“I’m sorry my love, I know it’s not an excuse but I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He grabs ahold of your face and brings it to face him. The tears streaming down your face make him feel like a sinner.

He wipes them away as you slowly begin to calm down.

“Why did you go to her birthday dinner.”

You didn’t even have to say a name for him to know. He pulls out his phone to show you his texts with her, she basically lied to him about her heart condition acting up to get him to come out, and unfortunately it worked.

“I was concerned for my patient, it was nothing more than that. I was backed into a corner when she had asked me to join them for dinner.”

If there was one thing for sure, Zayne was never a man who would lie, even with reason. He always spoke the truth no matter what. This situation was also no exception.

“She was just one of my childhood friends who was diagnosed with a rare heart condition, if my head was screwed on right yesterday I would have never said yes. I’d rather spend my time with you.”

He gave you an adorable smile, but that didn’t mean you’d let him off the hook.

“You’re going to have to work for your forgiveness mister. Yesterday really hurt me, I’ve never felt more alone in a relationship than I did yesterday and we were supposed to be spending time together.”

You spoke, you needed to let him know how you felt, you wanted your relationship to work and in order to do that you needed to communicate.

Zayne nodded in agreement.

“I wouldn’t want you to forgive me so easily either.”

He pulled you in for a hug, wanting to comfort you as much as possible.

It was then you got this amazing idea, you knew exactly how you were going to get back at him.

“For making me sad your punishment is no desserts for a week.”

Zayne was about to protest what you interrupted him.

“Say one word of disagreement and I’ll extend it by another week.”

That got him to promptly close his mouth and begrudgingly agree.

“You also owe me massages for the whole week, I got my period and I’m sore all over.”

Now Zayne felt even more upset.

You were already in pain and I just added more to it.

Zayne thought.

“I’ll do anything you ask of me my love, whatever makes you happy.”

He pulled you in for a kiss, it was soft and sweet. Zayne’s actions always were louder than his words.

You kissed him back, enjoying the warmth he gave you both inside and out. You guys had your ups and downs but you always managed to make it work.

Zayne would be damned if he ever let someone so precious slip through his fingers.

[umamaki]

THE SWEETHEART GRIP

one way soldiers kept their loved ones close during battle was by inserting a photo of them under a clear grip of either plexiglass or acrylic on their pistols. this is known as the sweetheart grip.

l&ds sylus x reader

me finding out about anything: how can i make this about love and deepspace... and yes i am american. yes i still don't respect anyone involved in or supporting the military leave me alone.

divider

So... Sylus definitely has a sweetheart grip of you. On all of his guns, actually. And you're not even aware of it.

They're all his favorite photos of you. Pictures of you on dates, selfies you've posted on social media, polaroids he's taken of you after sex.

He's insanely adept at weapons assembly so of coursee all his stuff is custom. Takes them apart, adds tributes of you, puts them back together.

You know he STAYS strapped. Always has a gun on him, always has a piece of you with him. As if your souls are not literally bound together. Whatever. He needs a physical reminder I guess. Can't go anywhere without some sort of keepsake. Keeps him sane.

Likes keeping his weapons clean; never lets your image get bloody, wet, scratched, foggy. Carries around a cloth to wipe away at any imperfections. Would never ruin your picture like that. Spends a modest chunk of his day making sure they're clean to his liking. It's so canon, have you seen this man during the in-game study and work feature even??!

Looks at your pretty picture all the time. Whips out his gun as if it’s his phone. Professional meetings, philanthropy galas, you name it. Intimidates everyone around him in doing so, thinking he's gonna shoot them—not that they would say that to his face—but no. He simply misses your cute face. Just wants a reminder of who's waiting at home for him.

Looks at your picture while he aims his gun at someone's head. Asks himself if this is what you would want. Shoots them anyways lol. Uses his palm to cover your photo as he pulls the trigger, careful to not taint your darling image with his enemy's blood.

You're bound to find out. He doesn't hide the fact from you, doesn't flaunt it either, so it's a while before you do end up finding your face staring back at you whilst looking through his armory.

"Sylus, what is this?" You ask, holding up the pistol so he can see.

"It's you, do you like it?"

"Well yes, I can see that it's me. Why is my face on your gun? And why am I naked in this one?"

"Technically your face is on all of my guns, sweetheart. That one's just my favorite." As if it's the most obvious fact in the world.

"... You did this yourself?"

"Absolutely. Do you not like it?"

"It's not that, but..." he waits, then the last thing he would expect you to say comes from your mouth, "...can you do this to my guns?"

He laughs, booming and robust, "why? You want my nudes on your guns? You must like me a lot, huh?"

It's enough for you to give him a slap on his bicep. "Fine. Nevermind. Don't know why I even asked."

He's still laughing as he pulls you into his body. He tickles your stomach, turning your pout into your own set of giggles, "I'm teasing, sweetheart. You can use as many nudes of me as you want. Shall we begin now?"

He jolts his hips up to your body, catching you off guard. He's noticeably hard now, tent in his pants evident. You get the hint.

“Why wait when we’re already here?”

“That’s the spirit, sweetheart.”

[ybklix]

𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

★ pairing: neighbor!chan x fem!reader

✦summary: You have a new life, in your dream apartment in the big city, your life is quiet, but suddenly your incredibly handsome neighbor across the door, Chan, decides to take you out of your comfort zone, you can't get him out of your head and you really plan to do something about it.

✭ genre - warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, fluff, fingering, masturbation, dry humping, oral sex, unprotected sex, creampie, videotape, cunnilingus, use of nicknames, slight dirty talk, aftercare.

word count: 7.7k

╰ ⋆⭒˚.⋆ masterlist - taglist forms

୧ ‧₊˚request by anon₊ ˚⊹♡

divider by qqmariztwsse

You admired the place, happy, the movers did all their work, now you only had to unpack and arrange your new apartment, you had been dreaming of moving to a bigger and different city for a year now, you talked to your parents and siblings just for emotional support, and there they all were now. Your mother, your sister and brother, who were going to spend the first night with you.

The four of them decided to walk around the city for a while, eating and enjoying all the scenery and endless places you could just walk and walk to. You arrived late and exhausted to your new apartment, where only your sister wanted to stay one more night, your mother and brother had to go back to your hometown, where they all still lived, where you previously lived already alone as well.

“I'm going to be fine” you said to your mother as you felt her hug you tighter as you said goodbye, her big breasts crushing yours.

“Oh I know dear but now I have to catch a flight to see you, I'm not used to it” your mother said, in a high pitched tone as she pulled away from you.

No matter what, you would always be her baby, you were the youngest among your siblings, of which you had a very cute and close relationship with. You were always a bit overprotected being the youngest, you openly talk about things that cause you anxiety and you are a bit sensitive although you never express it as such, you like to make jokes and be sarcastic about it, you have a personality… quiet and quite relatable to others, that's why you create content videos on Youtube, mainly there you started, but you are in all your social media and you are something like a microcelebrity. That's why you could afford to live in the city of your dreams, in the apartment of your dreams and you were grateful.

Your mother and brother left, boarding that plane and you and your sister returned to your apartment where she kindly helped you unpack.

“I'll go check to see if I have my own mail space yet” you notified your sister, to which she shouted from afar okaaay.

And you walked out of your apartment, where as you crossed the hallway to the front, you found a male silhouette about to enter his apartment, for some reason you stopped a little to see him, wearing a suit with his jacket in his hand and his white button up shirt rolled up in his strong arms, he was handsome, you thought. He turned to see you too, smiled at you realizing you were his new neighbor and whispered kindly:

“Hi.”

His voice was thick and attractive, his appearance masculine, you suddenly felt in some type of way….

“Hi” you replied kindly smiling.

And before he could say anything else, you hurried your step to the end of the corridor, leaving. You didn't know how to react, you didn't expect to find a handsome man in front of your door while you were messily unpacking your entire apartment. He let out a chuckle when he saw your reaction but you didn't hear it.

[…]

“Agh, Y/N, I forgot my cell phone on the counter,” your sister said, already in the hallway, with her things ready to grab the cab downstairs to accompany her to the airport.

You rolled your eyes, looking for her phone but it wasn't where she had indicated, you got frustrated, the cab was waiting for you, and angrily said to her,

“Where is it? It's not here!”

But you received no answer, your sister ran into your neighbor across the hall, who was about to go out to do some shopping, she instantly smiled at him seeing that he was also handsome and your neighbor was as enchanted with your sister as he was with you. You on the other hand went to the bathroom, where your sister had previously been, finding her phone.

“We have to go now…” you said, locking your apartment and you were perplexed to see your handsome neighbor again.

He smiled downward at you, pressing his lips together, he had to admit that you were both pretty, but there was something about you that caught his attention more.

“He tells me you haven't introduced yourself” your sister spoke, looking down at the broad shouldered build of your neighbor and then back up at you.

“Well, I also just arrived recently for work. I'm Bang Chan, your neighbor” he let out a nervous chuckle, causing you to shiver, a good shiver.

You stared at him and greeted him with waving your hand, telling him your name followed by, nice to meet you.

“I think, you were about to leave so, I see you around” he said again.

You nodded and left with your sister, who was dying to talk and didn't until you got in the cab.

“Oh my god, he's really hot, you should go after him, if he doesn't have a girlfriend of course” your sister commented animatedly.

“Stop saying bullshit please” you replied, unwilling to continue the conversation.

The point was… you had never dated before, you were too picky and your love life was non-existent, but you liked being that way, staying at home with your cats, you even made money from complaining about how there is no one to get your attention, expressing it in your videos where thousands of girls around the world found you so real for speaking your truth. You just made your silly little vlog videos or anything creative you could think of, at the moment you were working on filming your move.

Your sister left, you stayed around the city until it got dark and you returned to your new home, you had to feed your cats and clean their litter, but to your surprise, you once again found Chan taking the elevator at the same time. He smiled tenderly at you as you both were about to press the button, he let you do it and you waited, until you both got in alone.

“I guess we're always going to bump into each other now” he said again with his typical soft chuckle.

“Yeah, well, same building, same floor” you said nervously, really with zero idea what to say.

“Did you move into the building or in the city in general?” he asked, so curious to hear from you.

“From the city” you answered, looking straight ahead and only occasionally glancing at him out of the corner of your eye.

The elevator doors opened, he let you out first and you stepped into your hallway.

“Well, if you need someone to show you around the city or help in any address, you know I'm in front of your door” he said, sweetly but something about his voice sounded so inviting, the way he spoke and that the vein in his neck stood out a little.

“Thank you” you told him shyly and walked into your apartment.

You couldn't help but smile… after so long you thought to yourself if, a crush, a fling of whatever with your hot neighbor would be worth it.

[…]

All the rest of the night you unpacked everything, almost finishing your apartment, you were tired but it was a nice spring day that you didn't decide to waste, so you went out to walk for a while, feel the sun on your skin, and feel again the minimal realization that there is a civilization outside, since last night you haven't stopped thinking about Chan, you even imagined how his apartment would be decorated by the way he was dressed, simple and in black. You imagined so many things, even his age, what zodiac sign he might be, everything. You hadn't felt this way about someone in a long time.

And, still in his apartment, Chan's younger sister put him in charge of taking care of the family dog, since no one would be home and she took advantage of the fact that her brother would be staying in the city for his job, so she left her with him. Chan greeted and petted the dog with affection and wanted to take her for a walk.

You arrived at the park near the block from the building and craved an ice cream, you felt the presence of more people but didn't take any notice, until when you asked, a familiar voice appeared behind you, sounding so sonorous that it rumbled your insides.

“Make it two, please” said that voice, you turned to see him.

It was Chan, you smiled at him, his skin glowed brighter as he wore all black and you noticed he had a cute dog on a leash, you honestly thought you saw it coming, he looked like an energetic guy who liked dogs more, you enjoyed the company of cats more, but you forgave him anything.

You quickly confirmed to the guy that it would be two ice creams so that he would take Chan's order as well. And, as he handed over the ice creams, he hurried to say.

“Can you hold them please, I'll pay” he said quickly, extending the money to the employee.

You couldn't even deny it when the clerk was already ready to give him the change when Chan said again, “Leave it like that, thank you.”

You walked a few steps from the ice cream cart, narrowing your eyes because you were bothered by the sun, still watching him, licked from your ice cream before it melted and said in a happy tone, “Thank you.”

“Oh it's nothing, it's just ice cream.”

“We meet again” you repeated amused, this time more relaxed and less shy.

“Yeah, well, same park near the building” he said, with a smile responding the same way you did last night.

You smiled back at him as you continued eating from your ice cream, as sweet, soft and refreshing as Chan's unexpected arrival, he looked like a cute guy.

“You have a dog?” you said to him, this time cooperating so that he picked up on the signals that you wanted to talk to him.

He looked at Berry, his little dog.

“Ahh yes, she's Berry, she's family, she doesn't live in my apartment but my sister let me borrow her to take care of her today.”

Uh, he has a sister, must be nice guy, you thought.

“I have two cats” you blurted out suddenly, blushing as you felt his gaze after he's seen the dog, “Their names are Edward and Lorelai. Berry is, a very cute dog” you said again, nervous.

You bent down to stroke his soft dog's fur with your free hand and stood up again.

Chan laughed, watching you, finding you incredibly adorable and began to walk slowly as you followed, “Edward and Lorelai?” asked Chan with a smile at hearing such names for cats.

“For Edward Cullen from Twilight and Lorelai Gilmore from The Gilmore Girls” you added, quickly and obviously, but you were a little shaken, you hadn't had an encounter with a cute boy in years.

Chan looked at you with admiration and amusement. You felt like you were in a movie walking with the attractive man in the park who bought you ice cream. Chan didn't take his eyes off you and without stopping laughing, and to have all those references, he thought you must have been young, you looked young, but living on your own in the city? Chan didn't know what it was exactly but he wanted to know more about you, he liked you since he first saw you, you looked just like today, a sunny, but not oppressive sun, spring day, with the green trees and the birds singing.

“I like cats too,” he replied, “But because of my work I travel a lot and it's hard for me to leave them home alone.”

“What do you do for a living…?” you asked without trying to be so obvious as you sat down on an available bench.

“I'm a stylist and creative director” he replied.

At this point you were so nervous you were about to finish your ice cream. You decided to play with him a little, to lighten the mood.

“Stylist in that outfit?” you joked.

Chan laughed genuinely at your comment, he looked and dressed so normal, all in black with a cap and sneakers and called it a day. You could notice his curls under his cap.

“You might be surprised how well I dress people.”

“Mmm who have you dressed?” you asked amused only to continue the conversation.

“It's usually celebrities, and occasionally rich people, I've worked for Jungkook, T-…”

You gasped in surprise which stopped Chan in his tracks.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to react like that, it's just, I don't believe you, you're fucking with me, right?”

Chan raised an eyebrow at your comment in such confidence, without wiping off his smile, his cheeks hurt from being with you so much.

“Are you a fan of his?”

“Oh no, just, everyone knows how great he is.”

“Well it's true...” he answered and you saw him go to his cell phone deftly looking for something.

He handed it to you, pictures of him sizing up the celebrity he had just mentioned and putting a jacket over him as proof, you opened your mouths in surprise that you are meeting a man who has direct contact with celebrities. You handed him back his phone.

“I work for specific brands or clients, that's why I travel, I work for Jennie Kim, Troye Sivan, that kid that's everywhere mmm, Olivia Rodrigo, Timothe Ch…”

Your heart stopped and your smile faded for a moment as he called Olivia Rodrigo a kid, you were pretty sure you were pretty close to her age… you wondered how old he could be. You also thought that looking like that, there was no way he wasn't dating a celebrity.

“Okay I got it, now you're just bragging” you replied amused to which he loved the way you teased him, “I think it's great” you said happily, “And also as a creative director?”

“Yes, I direct videos, I give concepts to artists, I usually work a lot for the K-pop world, that's why I'm hardly ever home.”

You looked at him closely, you were excited to meet an art-oriented person who was expert and passionate about what he does, someone intellectual who stimulated your inner self.

“If you dressed Jungkook, what the hell are you doing living in that apartment? I assume you can get something better” you joked again never to end the conversation.

You had already finished your ice cream and your hands were restless not knowing where to settle. Chan laughed again, showing his peculiar dimples, he kept laughing with you close by.

“I've lived in the building for a while now, it's cozy and a very nice place, isn't it?”

You nodded, “It's a nice place…”

“Besides…” he began to say apologetically, tilting his head a little and showing a full smile “it's a magical place full of surprises, just like your new arrival.”

You looked into his eyes and admired every part of him, unable to think that he had said your arrival was a magical surprise. Chan had already finished his ice cream, but he thought there was nothing sweeter that left his mouth like meeting you on a nice sunny day.

“So… you'll be staying here in the city?” you added curiously, since he mentioned he was hardly home, worrying you.

“Yes, at the moment I'm here working from home, I just came back from a business trip; but as soon as my client calls me, I have to go wherever they are” you saw him a little disappointed, promptly thinking that he constantly has to leave, until he spoke bringing you out of your trance, “And you… what do you do for a living?” he asked softly and incredibly attentive to what you had to say.

Your smile faded a little… it wasn't something you said out loud, you felt a little embarrassed but more so when he had a cool job and you… made videos for the internet.

“I make videos…” you said unsurely.

He raised his eyebrow, scared deep down that they weren't adult types of videos, he had nothing against it, but as someone as pretty and young as you, he couldn't help but feel disappointed if that's what it is, since he currently found himself so many girls making money from it.

“You edit videos?” he asked, somewhat alerted.

“Yes that too, well… I'm a YouTuber, not something I'd say proudly after hearing your amazing work history, but I also paint and sell my paintings and, I'm simply inclined to art, but for a living, videos on the internet. I'm also inclined to acting, I currently take online classes but since I'm in the city I really want to try my hand at an academy; you know everyone who thinks they're celebrities these days wants to put out music but I seriously think it's not my forte, I prefer something else” you blurted out suddenly, nervously trying to divert him from the main topic.

Chan laughed tenderly as he carried Berry to put her in the middle of you. He thought you were cute the way you wanted to excuse yourself, and almost sighed in relief that you hadn't been what he maliciously thought.

“That's very good, seriously, you can tell me you're a tiktoker and I'll understand, they make a lot of money nowadays” Chan joked.

You laughed, blushing that maybe it wasn't the kind of woman he was looking for, putting little part of her life on the internet. But you had him completely captivated, he couldn't deny it.

“So what do you do?” he said, you raised your eyebrows, “What do you tape?”

“Mmm little vlogs, things I come up with…”

“And what do you paint?” you looked at him surprised, that among your meaningless chatter, he did pay attention to you.

“Little flower paintings, I don't know, cute things” you laughed.

Cute things like you, wanted to say Chan out loud.

“And how can I find you?”

You widened your eyes in panic, but still told him sweetly, “Literally my name, just like that, I hope I show up.”

Chan stared at you for a while, so happy to have some time to relax.

“I'd love to direct a video, give you some ideas” Chan spoke slowly and seductively, not knowing what he was saying clearly, he just knew he was suddenly lost on you.

“I'd love to share your ideas…” you replied in the same way.

“I'd also love for us to go somewhere else but… I'm taking care of Berry” he mentioned, caressing her, you saw his big, masculine hands, surprising you a little, “Would you like to… have dinner at my place?”

You wanted to open your mouth in surprise, for the first time you would be going alone to a man's apartment, but you just nodded softly.

“You cook?” you asked, Chan nodded, “I also love to cook and bake” you said proudly.

He looked at you tenderly.

[…]

The evening progressed with more talk with Chan, getting to know him more and more, and of a delicious dinner he prepared. You were delighted, you were supposed to start shooting more content today but there was nothing better than spending the night in his apartment and, his decor was just as you imagined it, neutral colors, modern design and all tidy, the place smelled good, he smelled good, everything around him looked like a dream.

He came to drop you off at your door, balancing on your heels on the door frame, so close to him and admiring every part of his face, his cute little eyes, his full lips, you felt like you were in your own little rom-com. Chan leaned against your door frame, unwilling to let you go.

“Do you… want to see Edward and Lorelai?” you said nervously to which he nodded softly with a smile.

Chan watched you, you looked so cute to him that he wanted to squeeze your cheeks and shower you with kisses, but he just said yes to every little thing you said.

Your cats were in your cat tree, you let Chan pass by, who slyly watched your whole apartment.

“Orange one is Edward.”

Chan approached your cats, you had a cute Halloween combination, orange and black, who antipathetic and yet alert let themselves be petted, after he spoke to them in a high pitched tone, with tenderness. He came up to you.

“They're very cute, just like you” he said and your cheeks grew warm, you blushed so often with him, you hated it when your body reacted like that, “Do you mind if… tomorrow we go to the park on a picnic or something?”

You frowned, hard to believe what he was saying but you agreed.

“Goodnight, Chan” you said goodbye to him.

Within half an hour Chan had started following you on Instagram where to your surprise you found that he had more than twice as many followers as you and his feed was as sleek and tidy as he was, filled with celebrities he worked for and the occasional photo of him; he for his part was delighted with the cute and cuddly side you showed your life on social media and, you also noticed that he had bought the 10 paintings you had for sale on your website.

[…]

“You bought all my paintings” was the first thing you said to him when you saw him.

Chan's smile got bigger, “I had to, they were really good, you can help me put them in my apartment.”

You looked at him, not sure what he was up to but you just knew you were quickly falling for him.

You both went to the park.

“All right, you paint Berry and I'll paint… you have to choose between Edward or Lorelai to paint them” Chan spoke.

You were both on your date, on a picnic he planned, you had had this kind of outing with your girlfriends but not with a boy, this was definitely your kind of date. You looked at Chan, who was still looking all manly with his strong legs showing in his shorts despite doing soft and sweet activities.

You sighed in surprise, “You can't make me choose between two of my children.”

Chan laughed, “Okay, I'll paint them both and then we'll show each other our paintings at the same time.”

You nodded, “Show me a picture of Berry.”

“And you of your cats.”

Amid laughter, chatter and complicit glances, you finished your works, showing them. Chan's painting was good, not the best, they were a little crooked, but it was nice and you appreciated it and yours, truly and effortlessly you had excelled, Chan looked at you with admiration as he praised your work, no doubt you were someone worth getting to know more.

You spent the day together, he walked you around the city and as you were united walking side by side in your wide hallway of the building, he said to you:

“What's a movie that you can watch over and over again without getting tired and... would you like to see it in my apartment?”

The next thing you knew you were having your first movie night date with a man, since he wasn't a boy. Slowly you brought your bodies together and shortly after the middle of the movie you couldn't help but admire him a little, his pronounced side in profile, his strong arms; you wondered if you should kiss him or would you look like an easy girl, you had just met him but you weren't much of a fan of the slow burn, at least not in real life, that could stay on TV and books, you wanted Chan now.

Chan licked his lips and noticed that you didn't stop looking at him and slowly turned to see you, you abruptly averted your gaze in embarrassment. Chan sighed and moved closer to you, making you more tense, not because it made you uncomfortable, but because you really liked him and suddenly your body was acting weird. You stopped paying attention to the movie and only thought about the time and the anxiety that was slowly consuming you, you wanted to kiss him but you didn't know how to get closer, you wanted to taste his lips to check your fantasies that he really had it all and kissed well.

Chan noticed it instantly, your nervous body, your light sighs, he was going to take a chance and if you rejected him, at least it would be worth it.

He came close to your ear and his plan wasn't to sound this seductive, he still said it in that tone, “It's obvious you're not paying attention to the movie, why don't you better come and pay attention to me.”

You almost moaned loudly at what he said, it was so cringe, it was so fucking sexy it worked for you, coming from him everything worked.

You turned to look at him.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” he asked.

You nodded without measuring anything that was happening, you just watched his slightly illuminated face for the TV light and move closer to yours and suddenly you met his lips, Chan started to move them over yours, you tasted the softness and how smoothly his fleshy lips were, then slowly he moved closer to you, when you unintentionally held onto his shirt, he started to kiss you deeper, his prominent nose colliding with your face, both breathless but unable to stop, addicted to the feel of each other until you broke apart.

“Come here” Chan whispered to you taking you by the waist and inviting you to sit on him for which you complied.

You let yourself fall into his lap with your body facing him, your legs beside his thighs, as you wrapped around his neck, ready to return to your sizzling make out session. This time Chan kissed you more desperately and excitedly, groping your whole body and tasting your tongue, at this point you were already so wet, his big hand stroking your body and the exquisite sounds of his lips colliding and his altered breathing made you so hot.

And that's when, as you let your body fall slightly, you felt his notorious, throbbing erection in your center, you were shocked, you didn't know whether to stop or continue but you didn't want to stop kissing him and you were getting more and more turned on. You separated, you saw his swollen, reddish lips and an expression on his face that you had never seen before, it was his usual look of tenderness combined with dark desire. Chan couldn't take it anymore and in a thick voice whispered:

“Should we continue this… or do you want to stop?”

You bit your lip, if you stopped there was nothing good in return, just you going to your apartment embarrassed and with your panties wet, yet you were so curious about what might happen if you didn't stop. You nodded and he looked at you confused.

“We should… continue” you sighed.

Chan smiled and kissed you again, running his hands down your back, this time under your blouse, unhooking your bra. You pulled away from him a little terrified and excited and let him remove your clothes, he brushed his lips down your neck until he reached your breasts where he sucked them hard, causing you to moan, but Chan wanted to make you feel so good that he was only going to focus on you and your pretty moans, so he had to take good care and treat your bottom area very well.

He pulled away from you and stared at you as he unbuttoned your shorts and then slid his big hand down and started stroking your clit over your panties with his long fingers. You gasped again, ecstatic and happy to be attended. You kissed again as between sighs you felt the satisfaction of his fingers rubbing your spot, you were enjoying it but it only made you wetter and needier and that Chan saw it reflected in your awkward but passionate kisses and your constant moans.

“C'mon sweetie, take off his shorts so I can touch you better” he whispered to you, “Gonna make you cum.”

With your breath hitching and heart racing, you heeded him, quickly standing up and removing your tiny shorts to sit on his lap again, this time your wet center feeling the stiffness of his cock. Chan gasped, you raised your ass a little and he wrapped his arm around your ass, sliding your folds aside with his hands and seeking your entrance, pulling the fabric of your panties aside, he stroked you a little, sliding all your wetness down your hole and inserted two of his slick, long fingers into your soft walls. You gasped, it felt so good to have your pussy filled.

“Oh, that's it dear, you feel so good, do you like it?” groaned Chan sweetly to you in a whisper which you whimpered in response.

Chan started to ram you with his fingers making you let out soft little whimpers, it felt so good, you could hear the wetness of your pussy being fucked, you were a little embarrassed to be so wet but you couldn't control it, your body was going crazy for Chan, as he enjoyed your sweet sounds coming out of your mouth and how choked his cock was in his denim shorts, he loved feeling the tightness inside you with the wetness of your pussy slipping on his fingers and, in a gasp and shudder, you felt your orgasm filling your body, spilling onto Chan's fingers and dripping onto his clothes.

You were beginning to feel ashamed, when you felt Chan's hands grip your waist tightly and cling to his cock as he bit his lip.

“Oh, you're so fucking sweet, c'mon” he moaned, moving your ass with his grip around his cock, squeezing it.

You turned on again in seconds and you understood everything, the heat of the moment took the best of you and you unbuttoned his shorts, being you now the one who put her hand in his crotch, feeling his wide hard cock over his boxers, you were surprised, you squeezed and caressed, trying to reach his tip but it was a bit difficult to which Chan helped you a bit to pull them down, finally seeing his prominent package and his dripping precum on his clothes.... once again you acted out of desire and lust and pulled down his underwear, revealing his member so highly visually appealing and large, you began to stroke it, and instantly turned to look at Chan, who was panting in pleasure. Once again you were so aroused, you wanted to do so many things but you just limited yourself to positioning his cock between your folds and start rubbing yourself on it, rubbing your soaking wet pussy through the feel of the fabric of your panties, while Chan revelled in the sensation with soft mmm's and you held tightly around his neck, and between kissing, fondling and Chan's stimulation of your breasts with his mouth, tongue and lips, the sizzling act brought you both to orgasm.

Both of your bodies trembled, Chan whimpered an “Oh, fuck” and you felt his throbbing sex and warm cum shoot between your folds.

Both of you had heavy breathing and suddenly you fell to realize what you had done, once again the heat now took over your cheeks and you tried to hide in Chan's neck; he smiled broadly and noticed your reaction.

“It's okay, princess, look at me, hey, it was beautiful, I loved it” he said sweetly, trying to get your attention.

You looked into his eyes in sorrow and he confessed in a whisper close to your lips, “Is it wrong that... I just met you but I feel I like you a lot? I'll take you on every cute date so we can get to know each other better.”

[...]

And so, after that night began a frantic story between you and your neighbor Chan, who was a little older than you and a mature man with his life and goals set, but he loved to do little things with you and help you and then have a fiery scene of making out and touching, you love to caress his hair every time you kissed him and he liked to help you in recording content and he would tell you how he was going to help you to offer you more work with recognized brands and, as days went by there was this afternoon, where he helped you and was there watching you recording, you were a little embarrassed but little by little you got used to it, and for some reason, your outfit consisted of a very short white plaid skirt, which drove Chan crazy in seconds.

He watched you attentively, sitting on your couch watching every little shot you made with your phone, you were completely dressed up while Chan was comfortable in his sportswear and black sleeveless shirt attached to his worked and muscular body, he was crazy about your short skirt revealing a little bit of your ass and how pretty you looked, while you were messed up seeing his biceps and marked pecs.

You finished recording your silly video, feeling embarrassed having Chan's heavy gaze on you the whole time as he smiled downwards at you and hugged one of your couch cushions, finally he stood up and walked over to you, unable to control his urges and placed his hands on your waist exposed by your short top. You raised your gaze slightly and smiled at him, he wordlessly moved closer to you to kiss you which you accepted by wrapping your arms around his neck.

“That little skirt is kind of dangerous, I feel lucky to see it on you before all your followers” Chan whispered to you, his hands moving down to your butt and squeezing it.

You were surprised and looked at him mischievously, and he surprised you again as he carried you by grabbing your ass and kissed you again, taking you a few steps to your room; for some reason you were aroused, and it was that particularly his strong arms with visible veins were doing in your arousal something, you hadn't had something sexual since that night in his apartment, you thought maybe it was time for something more.

Chan sat on your bed, leaving you on top of him, this time you kissed more passionately and desperately, both in the same synchrony and idea of what was about to happen, completely devoted to each other. And suddenly, you had the idea of tasting his cock. You smiled and lowered your kisses down to his neck, slowly you rolled off his lap and got on your knees between his legs, Chan licked his lips as he understood immediately and let you play with him a little as you slowly removed his shorts; Chan reflexively reached out his hand and it bumped into your camera on your bed, and a dirty idea occurred to him.

Chan grabbed your camera, turned it on and prepared to record, recording you making eye contact and finding it so fucking hot to him holding a camera at such a promising angle.

“Oh yeah, c'mon babygirl, suck my cock, is this your favorite YouTuber? She's a little fucking whore, look at…. ahh” Chan started to say but was cut off as he finally felt your mouth on his glans, “Mmm, she's taking my cock so well.”

You smiled with his cock in your mouth and began to suck him off, sucking his length to feel your tongue and cheeks, making him feel so good that he even gasped pitilessly.

You loved the feel of him, his big cock in your mouth while your hands caressed the rest of his member and from time to time you played with his balls, making Chan whimper and shudder, who at this point downplayed the camera in his hand and enjoyed live and direct the image of you on his cock, Chan stroked your hair, the muscles of his thighs trembled and in a sizzling whimper, Chan cum in your mouth.

You smiled happily, licking the cum from his length and swallowing every liquid deposited in you. Chan stroked your cheek for a few moments and gently motioned for you to stand up, then gently laid you down on the bed.

Once again, Chan held the camera and recorded the filthy process of lifting your skirt and removing your wet panties, finally getting a full shot of your soaking wet, throbbing pussy.

“Fuck” cursed Chan softly and aroused.

You looked so exquisite to him that he thought the camera didn't do you justice, you were a thousand times better in person. You watched him with desire and pleading eyes, inwardly begging to feel his big cock fill you with more.

“Take off your shirt” you whined, you wanted to see his abs.

Chan smiled arrogantly, he dropped the camera drop on your bed and obeyed your command, you bit your lip, you wanted him in missionary to have him close and touch his marked abs. Now, you were so needy. He took your camera again, with one hand he put your knees together and lifted them higher in the air, he stopped holding your legs and you left them like that, watching his dirty act of filming your pussy, Chan took his big cock and rubbed it on your pussy, making you gasp.

“What a fucking dirty slut, so ready to get fuck, isn't this y/n, your favorite little internet person, oh she's so fucking needy for my cock, aren't you, beautiful?”

You gasped as you felt his cock hit your vulva and then rub it through your folds and labia. Chan spread your legs again and finally entered you slowly and, capturing every scene of your tight hole stretching to make way for his cock.

You whimpered, slightly trembling and trying to adjust to his size, Chan sighed excitedly finally at the feel of you inside and began to fuck you slowly and recording a couple of moments, then throwing the camera back onto your bed and pulling his body closer to you, where he sweetly gave you kisses around your face as he rammed you moderately, sliding expertly into you.

“Faster, Chan” you begged, to which he smiled, more than happy to follow your commands.

You arched your back as you felt his strong, deep thrusts, filling your entire pussy to the deepest part of you, his tip brushing your cervix without issue due to his size and you felt your body fade beneath his. You entwined your legs around his waist and hugged him as he continued to ram your pussy hard, his warm moans in your ear.

You were so close, you hugged him tighter and your thighs gradually lost strength, trembling and falling into a deep orgasm at the sensation of his cock moving inside you. Chan continued for a while and finally cum inside you, relaxing his exhausted body a little on top of you.

He kissed your cheek sweetly, pulled away from you and, as a final shot, filmed his cock coming out of your hole as he was doing the perfect creampie scene.

Chan threw the camera back and moved closer to your tired body, showering your face with kisses, appreciating that you still had little traces of him around your mouth.

“I loved that, baby, that was so good” he whispered sweetly in your ear, "The little skirts on you drive me crazy."

[…]

The next day you set about starting to edit your videos and found yourself…. with the grotesque and silly footage Chan had made of you having sex, completely worthy of a homemade porn video, morbidly you watched it again, video shots moving, Chan shaking and his heavy breathing in the background, which turned you on a little, his comments in his thick voice, you sucking his cock and then him rubbing it in your pussy, shit, you were so horny, you couldn't help but watch in detail how good his cock looked for the camera, doing it complete justice, you had a very good camera after all.

You sighed totally aroused and almost as if by magic, there was a knock on your door, you paused the video, luckily at a part where Chan put the camera aside and your sheet was recorded. And you ran to your door knowing it was Chan, once you saw him you jumped into his arms, he laughed and returned the unexpected hug.

Chan had brought you flowers, you thanked him genuinely and gave him a kiss on the cheek, he was so sweet, you liked him so much but just now you needed him so much too. You quickly put his flowers in water and in a vase in the center of the counter.

“What were you doing, princess?” he asked you.

You decided to be honest and quick.

“I was editing my videos and came across what you shot yesterday, honestly I'm horny.”

Chan let out a chuckle at your honesty and walked over to you.

“And who am I to say no to you when you're like that?”

You bit your bottom lip as your smile got bigger, once again you kissed.

“Mm, you should watch the video later, you look so fucking good” you whispered to him between the small moments you parted.

“Fuck, I'm dying to see how I fuck you, but it's better to always live it up” he gasped, so needy with his throbbing cock.

You both headed back to your room, where Chan subtly motioned you to sit on your bed and, he with no time to waste, lifted up your little wool pajama top to reveal your breasts and pulled down your tiny shorts you were wearing altogether, he knelt between your legs and began to give hot and loud kisses down your belly all the way down to your mons pubis, he quickly got rid of your panties, and spread your legs to give him a better view of your pussy.

You were so aroused at his slightest movement, Chan smiled at the image of your exposed pussy and murmured, “I'm going to make you feel so good, princess.”

And, for the first time in your encounters, he directed his mouth to your pussy, gently caressing your clit with one finger, making you gasp and shudder at the sensation of his mouth on your cunt.

Chan licked the entire length of your folds, unashamed and totally satisfied with your taste, you were getting wetter and wetter, giving more and more way for Chan to enjoy your soaking wet pussy with delicious slurping sounds, you gasped and let your head fall back, completely yielding and pleased. You looked back at Chan, whose face was buried in your pussy, his big nose bumping against your labia and his tongue licking every taste in you; you bit your lip and stroked his hair, Chan made eye contact with you, he was enjoying it so much that he would end up cumming in his pants without any trouble merely with the feel of your soft wet pussy in his mouth.

With his free hand Chan began to fondle your breasts, completely ecstatic with pleasuring you, giving your sweet whimpers in response, which encouraged him more and more. Chan bit your labia softly, licked and sucked and, withdrew his hand from your breasts, to lean a little and separate your orifice, appreciating how needy it was, to then insert his tongue and feel your insides, you gasped more intensely, relaxing your body completely and, after an exquisite series of movements on your pussy with his mouth, you came to orgasm, panting loudly and seeing stars, Chan had eaten your pussy so fucking well.

Chan was also so close and cursed under his breath as he felt cum in his pants as he savored your sweet, glistening fluid from your orgasm.

He raised his face, and saw you, both of you happy, your chest rising and falling trying to settle down normal, him licking his mouth still with your taste, but Chan's smile was instantly wiped off, he recognized the sound of the door perfectly, his apartment sounded the same, he stood up quickly alerted.

“Did you hear that? Someone came in, are you expecting someone?”

You looked at him confused and instantly remembered, your mother and sister were coming to visit you, you had arranged it days ago on the phone and you had already warned the doorman to always let your mother and sister in up to your apartment. You closed your legs immediately and hurriedly pulled up your panties and shorts, your heart racing. Chan also stood up quickly and headed towards your bathroom as you frantically motioned for him to go in there.

You came out with a smile, brushing your hair a little.

“Heeey” you greeted.

“Where were you?” said your mother going to hug you.

You felt a little dirty, a few minutes ago you had an incredible orgasm leaving a mess. Suddenly your mother heard a noise in the bathroom.

“Is anyone else here?” she asked.

“My… neighbor” you replied to which your sister smiled broadly, “the toilet wasn't working right and he wanted to fix it.”

“Oh, honey, but why him, is he a plumber? Let me see what's wrong with…” mentioned your mother ready to go to the bathroom but noticed your sister's complicit look, “Why are you looking at each other like that…? Is he the boy Kaia told me about?”

“Chan is here?” your sister asked smiling.

“You told mom about him?” was all you could say.

Your sister knew nothing of your encounters, really the last thing she knew about Chan was when he showed up in the hallway. With embarrassed steps, you made your way to the bathroom, opening the door carefully where a shy Chan stepped out, his face and hands clean.

“Is… the bathroom ready?” you asked him, waiting for him to catch on to what he did instantly.

“Ah yes, it was nothing really.”

“Thank you.”

“I'm Bang Chan, nice to meet you” he introduced himself to your mother who smiled at him and received the gesture.

Still your mother was no fool, she knew immediately that the two of you were up to something, or maybe you were in the middle of something. Your embarrassed faces gave both you and Chan away.

“Hi, Chan” greeted Kaia, looking mischievously at him knowing that he was also there with you for something and that the bathroom was just an excuse.

He greeted her shyly and your sister's attention focused on your laptop on the counter, she approached the laptop animatedly,

“Ohhh, you're editing a new video, what's it about?”

You panicked and ran to close your laptop, causing her surprise and confusion, if she pressed play she was about to see the pornographic home video of you and Chan. You almost dry salivated, so terrified.

“It's a very important and secret video” you replied, sketching a smile and looking quickly towards Chan.

It was kind of weird, but you had to explain that you were in a way, dating him.

--------

𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89

[starmaidengarden]

Hiiii! I just finished reading your works and it melt my heart!!! Can i ask for fluff how Heartslabyul guys spend rainy days together with s/o ;;w;;; Tyty <33

𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐲

— Riddle : Ace : Deuce : Cater : Trey : x gn!reader. no cw/tw. established relationship. TikTok mentioned, idk what they use for TikTok. Pic: Leo08ph on twt, dividers: uzmacchiato.

note : wait you read all of them!!!ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ that means so much to me! I'm so glad you enjoyed them!!❤️ sorry that this took so long, I have been so busy as of late.

Riddle Rosehearts ༉⋆｡˚

Activity: Reading together under a blanket, sipping tea

Riddle takes rainy days as an opportunity to slow down. He prepares a warm cup of tea and settles in with a book. He offers to read aloud to you, his voice calm and precise. If you get sleepy and doze off, he gently places a blanket over you and keeps reading in a softer tone.

Tea and book club for two — Riddle selects a book and offers to read aloud. He pauses to explain parts he finds important or to ask your opinion. When you chime in, he listens intently, clearly pleased you're engaging with him.

Gentle conversation — With the constant pressure of dormleader, Riddle opens up more. You might hear quiet stories of his childhood, his mother’s strict teachings, or his fears about not being “good enough.” If you offer comfort, he’s flustered — but grateful.

Studying or journaling together — If you're working on something, Riddle will sit beside you and study too, just to be close. He likes the peacefulness. Sometimes he sneaks glances at you, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Raindrops tapped against the window, creating a soothing background noise. The scent of rose tea fills the air. You settle into the comfy armchair next to him, Riddle’s voice cuts through the silence, smooth and clear, as he starts reading. Each word floats around you like a warm embrace, bringing the story to life and taking you to another world. Outside, the rain keeps pouring, and you can feel your eyelids getting heavier. The combination of Riddle’s soothing narration and the rhythmic patter of the rain creates a cozy lullaby, making it easy to drift off. It doesn’t take long before your eyes start to blur over the pages.

Ace Trappola ༉⋆｡˚

Activity: Playing video game, and scrolling

Rainy days to Ace are prime slacking off the weather. Classes? Who cares. Studying? He’ll get to it later. Right now, all he wants is to spend the day wrapped up in warmth with you. He turns a rainy day into a playful challenge. He’ll break out his favorite games or cards and drag you into a marathon. He’s competitive but more interested in making you laugh—throwing jokes and playful jabs your way until you’re both laughing too hard to keep score.

Video Game Marathons — He’ll hand you a controller with a cocky smirk and trash-talk you, even if you're not very good. If you somehow manage to beat him, he’ll act dramatically betrayed and demand a rematch.

Couch Cuddling and Movie Roasts — While watching a random horror movie, he makes sarcastic comments the entire time. If you get scared, he pulls you closer and teases you about it, but it's just an excuse to hold you tight.

Card Tricks and Magic Pranks — He tries to teach you one of his sleight-of-hand tricks, but it quickly turns into a flirtation. “Oops, how did this flower end up behind your ear?” he grins, and although you roll your eyes, you secretly love it.

Snacks scattered across the coffee table, a game console blinking in sleep mode, and rain tapping against the window in a soothing rhythm, completing the soft music that floated gently through the air. The room is cluttered but it cozy. A thick blanket draped over the two of you. he scrolls through social media, laughter bubbling up unexpectedly. "This is literally you," the screen shows a meme that reminded him of inside jokes or a quirky moment you two shared. The corners of your lips curled into a smile each time, even as you rolled your eyes playfully.

Deuce Spade ༉⋆｡˚

Activity: Cooking simple comfort food together

Deuce sees the rain as a chance to practice his baking with you. He’s earnest and a bit clumsy, so expect a few spills and a lot of laughter. He’ll get super flustered if you compliment his cooking, but it makes his day.

Cooking — He’ll invite you to the kitchen and earnestly ask if you want to make some food. Every move is a learning opportunity, and Deuce might end up getting flour on his face or dropping an egg. The two of you laugh through the mishaps, but he still makes sure everything is perfect for you. He’ll turn red at the small moments of physical affection.

Simple movie date — he’ll suggest watching a movie, but no one’s really watching it. He’ll get distracted by you—the way you smile at certain scenes or curl up beside him. He might even steal little glances at you when you’re not paying attention, wondering how you got so perfect.

Chill and Cuddles (He Tries to Play It Cool)— Once you’re curled up on the couch or bed, Deuce is both awkward and incredibly sweet. He awkwardly flops down beside you, his gangly limbs seeming to tangle endearingly, yet his gentle nature radiates warmth. With a shy tilt, he looks up at you with big eyes, as if seeking permission to inch closer.

Rain pours outside, adding to the cozy atmosphere. Flour spills everywhere when Deuce, focused on mixing, accidentally knocks over the bag. It dusts the counter, the floor, and both of you. “Oh no, no, no! I didn’t mean to—” You both burst out laughing as flour clouds the air. Deuce grins mischievously and flings a handful of flour your way. “Gotcha!” he exclaims, his cheeks flushed. You smear some flour on his cheek, and soon you're in the middle of an impromptu flour fight, giggling uncontrollably. As the laughter fades, you both catch your breath, covered in flour. Deuce wipes his hands on his apron, and for a moment, you lock your eyes. His gaze softens, and he gently brushes flour off your cheek. “You look really cute like this,” he says softly, the playfulness shifting to something more intimate.

Cater Diamond ༉⋆｡˚

Activity: TikToks, selfies, and aesthetic chill

Cater goes full “rainy day” mode—candles, soft lighting, chill music playlists. You take selfies wrapped in blankets, film cute videos, and maybe try couple-themed filters.

Spa Day — Cater brings the spa experience to you with face masks, nail painting, and refreshing cucumber water. He’s all about self-care and spreading good vibes, especially when the weather is gloomy outside.

Dance Challenges — When the rain pours down, Cater turns up the music and invites you to join in on the latest dance trends or even create your own. Expect to share some silly bloopers along the way!

Rainy Day Playlist — Cater would curate a dreamy lo-fi playlist to match the rainy mood—and then he’d make one for you based on your vibe. You can listen together while watching the rain fall outside your window.

The room was bright and lively, filled with the sweet scent of lemon balm and cucumber water. Cater Diamond burst in with a grin, bringing goodies like face masks and pastel nail polish. You found yourself in a cool green mask while Cater lounged beside you. Once the music shifted to an upbeat mix, “Spa time’s done, now it’s dance break time!” Cater said as he grabbed your hand, and you both attempted the latest dance challenge, bursting into laughter as you stumbled and tripped. Flopping back onto the bed, you watched the hilarious bloopers. “We’re posting this!”

Trey Clover ༉⋆｡˚

Activity: Baking together and sharing warm snacks

Trey uses the gloomy weather to bake something delicious. He invites you to join him in the kitchen, showing you how to knead dough or decorate cookies. You end up with a tray of sweet pastries, a warm oven, and him casually brushing flour off your cheek with a smile.

Baking together — probably something seasonal, like apple tarts or lemon scones. He’s patient while you help, letting you stir, decorate, or sneak tastes of the batter.

Tea and Quiet Conversation — Trey brews a pot of tea. You both sit near the window, listening to the rain while talking softly about dreams.

Quiet Walk Under an Umbrella — If the rain isn’t too heavy, he might ask if you want to take a walk anyway—sharing an umbrella, boots splashing in puddles, the whole “romantic slice-of-life” vibe. Trey likes balance, and a bit of fresh air—even in the rain—helps clear the mind.

The scent of vanilla and butter filled the cozy kitchen as light rain pattered against the windows. You stood next to Trey, with flour dusting your fingertips. “Here,” he said with a smile, handing you a bowl of strawberry syrup. He nudged a spoon toward you, encouraging you to taste the filling. You dipped it in, savoring the sweet burst of flavor and wiping syrup from your mouth. Trey chuckled, his amber eyes sparkling. “I knew you’d love it.”

[trans-ralsei]

silly comment on izuma, languages and what it suggests about its history and worldbuilding in alternate UC 0084

so we all know the working language in Izuma is largely Japanese (well, this is a Japanese anime, with in-universe news media largely reflective of 2025 Japan and an internet that is reflective of 2025 Japan)

English is also notably the primary user interface language (it’s very Khara I think)

But other languages do feature — namely Thai, Bahasa, German and Korean and Mandarin.

They mostly serve to help us establish the setting — of a multi-cultural Izuma flourishing in a neutral Side 6, largely unscathed by the war. But the languages are established in a hierarchy of sorts:

We don't see any other language other than English or Japanese in road signs or place names. There's a region where English placenames are predominant — think Aldwych, Knightsbridge and Carrington, and a region where Japanese placenames are dominant: Nenokuni, Ifuya, Ishizone.

This sort of indicates that the original builders of Izuma were likely both English and Japanese, which is why the working language of the banchi are these two languages, indicated by arrival cards and import documents:

Languages other than English and Japanese are all indicative of an immigrant culture. It's in the streets that Nyaan walks in Nenokuni — we see the most linguistic diversity in that setting, which ep1 establishes are 'slums built by immigrants'.

But it's also growing in signs and adverts, an indication that immigrants do have economic power in Izuma:

There are also French road signs, which might indicate that Izuma also has a French section? but we haven't seen that yet. (Izuma's spaceport also uses French.)

The show establishes the refugee/resident divide through language. Highbury, Machu's posh school for debutantes, uses Japanese predominantly and is very monolingual:

Nyaan, an immigrant, writes in English. Her calendar is somehow French and Thai. Her books are however in Japanese and English, and Nyaan also has a university entrance exam prep book in Japanese:

Izuma is a microcosm of metropolitan Japan — if I remember clearly they wanted to establish how Side 6 went unscathed by humanity's conflicts. It's also indicative of how immigration has changed metropolitan Japan to some degree, but I'm not that familiar with Japan to provide commentary at 3am in the morning, so that'll be for another time (or never).

What does that mean in-universe? My guess is that Izuma and Side 6’s banchis were established as joint Anglo-French-Japanese colonies, but when the One-Year War happened, the colony drop occurred and wrecking much of Earth, other cultures proceeded to emigrate into Side 6, changing Izuma in the process (as it builds and rebuilds to accommodate people displaced by war).

Or maybe the curtains are blue. I don't know lol

[cheeseceli]

Boyfriend Namjoon

Pairing: Kim Namjoon × gn!reader (established relationship)

Genre: fluff, headcanons

Request: Boyfriend namjoon

Warnings: mentions of food, he's an idol, mentions of arguments

A/n: apparently Tumblr stopped tagging everything as mature content? That's a win for us!! | Daily click

Hobi ver. | Namjoon ver. | Jimin ver. | Taehyung ver. | Jungkook ver.

Start off by saying that if you are on uni or studying something or idk

You are SO lucky

He's so campus boyfriend material

Except he doesn't even need to be on campus

Whatever the topic is, he can help you study

I love when smart people get together

Late night talks go crazy with this one

You guys can pull a whole all nighter by being philosophical or getting vulnerable with each other

Or maybe just saying nonsense

Either way, it's always a pleasure to stay all night with him

Even if you're both tired by the time the sun comes up

And that also happens when he's on tour

It doesn't matter if it's 2 in the morning where he's at, if you're able to call him, he's enjoying those moments

He's a yearner btw

So he looks at you like you are spring itself

You swear you see his eyes shine whenever you come into the room

Writes a WHOLE album about you

And actually releases it

"People are theorising that Namjoon of BTS might be in a relationship because of that and that and idk what else"

Well

He's tryna confirm those rumours

Not even on purpose

He just loves you so much that he needs to talk about you, even if it's through lyrics, or if the entire world is listening

Really likes to go out on spontaneous dates

But he also likes to plan a lot of them

So maybe museums, parks, picnics or maybe even trips

He likes to make sure you'll enjoy the time spent with him

Even though you'd be happy to just lay down on the couch with him and do nothing all day

Likes to learn everything you might want or need

Learns how to take care of your hair/skin so he can help you when you're too tired to do it yourself

Really really tried to make your favourite dish, even though the first tries failed miserably

He's getting better ok

Obviously he is very determined

His determination also applies to the relationship

So he will make it work

It doesn't matter if he is super famous, if he needs to leave for military or for a tour, if the company or the media is against this

He doesn't care about no one's opinion on this relationship besides yours

So he is very determined about you

That also goes for fights

It's natural to have arguments in a relationship

But he will never let that affect you too much

He loves you too much to lose you because of a stupid mistake or a miscommunication

Also

Whenever he stars to spiral into his own mind, gets stressed or anything

He calls you

You have this crazy ability to ground him

So don't be surprised when he gets stuck on the studio and suddenly calls you, just wanting to hear your voice

But he is also always there for you

We know that guy is a perfect listener and even better adviser

So he is there for you

In your highs and specially in your lows

Sorry but I hope you're not too attached no anything material

Because there's a chance some of your things will get broken 💔

He is clumsy by accident 😭

Won't try to show it too much but kind of lives for your praise

If you compliment him he will get a bit shy

But he is hiding the blush creeping up his neck with all his strength

Overall he is a very sweet boyfriend that kind of wants to stay with you for his entire life

He found peace in you, and he is cherishing you forever

Masterlist | you'll probably like: Espresso

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @butnotmontana @sheraayasherrecs @queenofdumbfuckery @lezleeferguson-120

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto | images 1, 2 and 3

[sevikafucker]

Blindfold

Sevika X F!Reader

You get caught not listening when Silco and Sevika are speaking with you. It bites you in the ass. But the cards still seem to be in your favor.

A/N: Reader is meant to be a highly trained fighter. Something like red room. Nothing is too in depth but I'm thinking about making another one-shot going deep into that idea. I don't think I've ever written WLW smut before??? I hope this is as good as I intended it to be! This is just what I want to do to her. As always, reader is living out my dreams. divider by cafekitsune

CW: SMUT! 18+ (please consume media responsibly), no use of y/n, experienced reader, nonsexual blindfolding, nonsexual biting, vaginal fingering, oral, not beta read

Word count: 2.6k

Your eyes watched Sevika. Always on Sevika. She was focused on Silco though. They were speaking, but you heard nothing of what they were talking about. Your eyes locked in on her waist as she shifted her weight. Her stomach was very much visible.

Fuck.

She was killing you. You wanted nothing more than to be between those legs. You wanted to make her-

“Do you think you could do that?” Silco asked you. His lips were in a line. He knew you were not listening.

“Oh,” You let out a low laugh, “I could do that blindfolded.” You waved a hand around as if it were nothing. You had this in the bag.

Silco smiled widely, suddenly you felt fear. Wrong answer. You wanted to run when Sevika stepped towards you. It was not in your nature to run, but you really did not want to cause any strife with the woman you yearned for.

“Get this girl a blindfold.” Silco looked at Sevika.

You were going to burst. You gave Silco a confused look and Sevika excused herself. You let out a nervous laugh and Silco laced his fingers together. He watched you with a hint of excitement in his eyes What the fuck did I agree to? You did not want to ask. Your pride seemed to get the best of you.

“You are highly trained?” Silco asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded. “I trained for years, under horrible circumstances really. One time-”

Sevika made her return, interrupting you, a thick strip of fabric in hand. Your stomach flipped and you swallowed hard. If you were lucky, she was going to get freaky with you in the middle of Silco’s office. You could not be so lucky. Instead, Sevika came up behind you and asked if you were ready.

“Um,” You put a hand up, “can I get a refresher? On what I’m doing?”

Silco’s sick smile only widened, and he looked to Sevika. Her dark eyes met yours and a shiver ran down your spine. “You said you could fight me. Blindfolded.”

“Oh, I did.” You nodded. “I did say that.” You pretended to remember. “But,” You look around, “here in the office is a little, I don’t know, uncaring. Don’t you think, sir?” You looked at Silco, nails scraping for any semblance of sympathy.

Sadly, all you get is apathy.

“Just don’t break anything.”

Oh, this is totally normal. You gave Sevika a look of uncertainty and she brought the blindfold up. “Are you ready?” You bit back a groan and nodded. ‘Just don’t break anything’ rings through your skull. How the fuck do I keep from doing that? Sevika placed the blindfold over your eyes and tied it. Tight.

There was a thick silence and then Sevika’s hand gently brushed your face. “You can’t see?” You shook your head. “Good.” Sevika stepped in front of you and took several steps, you heard her. You heard her boots hit the ground and summed she was turning to face you.

You knew that begging was not an option. You knew that you had to face the consequences of your actions, of your lust. You took a deep breath and readied yourself. You kept steady, bringing your fists up, and listening. Closely. You were not given a word to go. You were waiting patiently. But, once again, only apathy.

You heard Sevika’s heavy boot squeak against the floor and time seemed to slow. You knew her fist was coming for you; it had to be. You quickly ducked and kicked your foot out. Hard. It hit Sevika’s shin, and she stumbled. You heard her heavy boots hitting the floor. You followed the noise. You swung your fist out and it hit Sevika. You thought maybe her cheek. Her response was one you expected but had hoped would not happen.

Sevika let out a short yell and quickly became more unpredictable. A fist slammed into your side, and you let out a yelp. Falling onto the hard floor. You scrambled to stand, and another blow came down, her foot to your thigh. You were not giving up. You were not brought up to do that.

You listened closely. Sevika was close. Your hands grabbed, for something, anything. Sevika was in your grasp in seconds, and you brought her towards you. Bad move. You realized too late. Sevika’s hand pressed into the side of your face, she was trying to get you down. You moved, maneuvering away slightly and your teeth caught her hand. You bit down. Sevika did not make a noise.

Instead, she manhandled you down. Your back hit the floor, your head bouncing slightly. You released Sevika’s hand and let out a loud cry. Sevika straddled you. Under any other circumstance you would have been completely and utterly turned on. But something snapped inside of you.

Memories of training came back. How horribly mistreated you were to create what was before Sevika was not leaving anytime soon. Sevika started talking, but you could not hear it. You were frozen under her, eyes wide behind the blindfold. Your breath hitched and the room started to spin. Tears spilled from the corners of your eyes, getting caught in the fabric.

“Get up!” You interrupted her and Silco. “I can’t- Can’t breathe!” You were frantic. You were still unmoving though. Everything was tense, and you could not move.

Sevika, confused, stood up. You ripped the blindfold from your eyes and stood. You looked odd to say the least. Your breathing was rapid, and your eyes looked around frantically. Your bottom lip poked out and you turned away from the two of them. “What’s going on?” Sevika asked first. Silco and her watching as you began to hightail it out of there.

“I’m so sorry.”

You left the office, tears staining your cheeks. You felt so small, having them see you like that. You could barely calm down. You found your room, slammed and locked your door, and placed your back against the wood. You let out a quiet sob. Your eyes shut tight. You did not want to think about what you used to do.

But that was the reason Silco took you in, after all. You would never be able to fully leave your past behind you.

You walked towards your bed and tried to catch your breath. You sucked down air, your fingers gripping and pulling at the hem of your shirt. You sat on the edge of the bed and sighed. You needed an outlet.

You heard your name being called. You, for a moment, thought it was your imagination. Then there was a knock at your door. “It’s me.” Sevika sighed. “Can I come in?”

You had been wanting to get Sevika in your room since you first laid eyes on her. Your jaw clenched and you stood up. You walked towards the door and unlocked it. Your hand grabbed the knob, and you sighed. You opened the door and Sevika looked concerned. “Did you come to drag me back in front of Silco so-”

“No.” Sevika interrupted, “I came to check on you. You were obviously not okay when you left.”

“I'll be okay.” You reassured her. “I’m sorry I bit you. I didn’t- I thought you were going to hurt me-” You paused. “Worse than you already were.” Sevika was stunned. She stood in your doorway. “You can come in, I guess. If you didn’t come to torment me.”

Sevika gave you a look and pushed past you. You closed your door and turned to face her. She placed her right hand on her hip and examined you. Closely. You swallowed hard and your arms hugged your abdomen tightly. Sevika’s gaze did not let up.

“You’re stressed.” Sevika was blunt. “You need something to help you.”

“I know,” You mumbled and shoved your hands into your pockets. “Normally,” Your voice was still low, “to ease the stress, I just ate pu-” You stopped yourself. You pinched the bridge of your nose and groaned. “Sorry.”

“You were able to do that?” Sevika cocked a brow at you. “Eat pussy?”

Heat prickled across your cheeks. You were on fire. “Yes.” You did not even nod. “All of us who were being trained, we had only each other. It was stress relieving, getting intimate, or even sexual with the other women.” Sevika shrugged, “There’s a brothel.”

“No money.” You pulled your pockets out and showed her evidence of your poorness. “I may be rich in strength, but I have no money.”

Sevika shifted. She sighed and looked up, thinking, before her eyes met yours again. “Look,” She started and took a step towards you. “I see how you stare at me. I know you weren’t listening to Silco earlier because you were too busy thinking about me.” You are suddenly a lovesick puppy staring at Sevika, waiting for her next sentence. “And lucky for you, that earlier fight really turned me on.”

She took a step forward and your heart thumped in your chest. “Are you offering what I think you’re offering?” You were stunned, a goofy grin spreading across your face.

Sevika rolled her eyes. “I am. I’ll revoke it though, unlike you, I have money to spend elsewhere.”

“You would not be that cruel, would you?” You pouted. “Come on! I’ll give you the time of your fucking life. I’ve got a lot of practice.” You wiggled your brows at her.

“That better be a promise.” Sevika kicked off her boots and walked towards your bed. She sat down on the edge of it, and you were quick to throw yourself at her feet, wedging yourself between her knees.

“Can I kiss you?” You asked, voice dripping like sweet honey.

“So polite,” Sevika cooed at you. “Because you asked so nicely, I’ll allow it.” She laughed softly. You pushed yourself up slightly and cupped her face. The kiss was soft at first. Until your tongue traced her bottom lip. Sevika let out a low grumble and her mouth opened. Within seconds the kiss was rougher than you had anticipated. Before you could push your tongue into her mouth, she was shoving hers into yours. You moaned loudly and let her explore your mouth.

After a few minutes, you pulled from her lips and peppered gentle kisses down her jaw. Your hands pulled at her clothes, and you pulled away long enough to take her shirt off. You mumbled praises into her skin and Sevika watched you intensely. Her moans and quiet groans echoed inside of your head. It was intoxicating.

Your thumbs rubbed circles on her exposed hips, above her pants. You kissed down her chest and stopped briefly at her breasts, bringing one of her nipples into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around it smiled against Sevika’s skin when her right hand went into your hair. She tugged softly.

“You're gentle, ah,” She sighed, “for someone who had it so rough.”

You did not respond with words. Instead, you took her nipple between your teeth and looked up at Sevika through your lashes. Her eyes did not break contact with yours. You released her and kissed down her stomach. The muscles of her abdomen were so toned, defined… Different from the stomachs you had once kissed.

Your fingers expertly undid the button of her pants and your hands, and you pulled her pants from legs, effortlessly. It was unreal. Really. Your head was spinning again, but for a completely different reason that time. Where to start? You thought to yourself momentarily.

“Don’t get choked up now.” She smirked at you.

You looked up at Sevika with narrowed eyes, but you didn’t respond. Instead, your fingers danced across her thighs and your head burrowed between them. Your lips pressed soft kisses against her skin, your teeth scraping the flesh. Sevika’s hands gripped the sheets. You were being so deliberate and delicate with your motions. Sevika deserved nothing but that.

You thought about leaving marks on her thighs, but that could wait. You needed to taste her. You reached her folds and sucked in air, diving in headfirst. Your fingers spread her lips, and your tongue licked a slow, experimental stripe up her pussy. Sevika let out a low groan and her thighs tensed. Your eyes shut and a hand was immediately in your hair, nails scraping against your scalp.

“Look at me.” Sevika spoke through gritted teeth.

She was proving a point. She was still in control even if you had her this way. Your eyes snapped open as your tongue circled her clit. Sevika’s hips rolled right into your mouth and your hands gripped her thighs tightly. You needed more of her.

Your face was buried deep in her cunt, tongue working overtime. You let out a low rumble, face pressed into her, and Sevika moaned. Your nose bumped her clit, and her hips jerked again. You held her in place, pushing her hips back down on the bed. Until one of your hands slid down her thigh, and right towards her pussy. You kept your eyes on her as your tongue moved to the bundle of nerves and you slid a finger into her entrance.

Your finger curled inside of her and Sevika let out a louder moan. She had been grunting, her breathing getting harder. But you needed her to be louder. You had to hear her. Sevika’s hand held your head in place, keeping you where she wanted you.

You began to suck on her clit and another finger slipped inside her. Once again, you were extremely calculated with your movements. You wanted her to feel good. It was not enough, the position you were in. You threw her thigh over your shoulder and pushed up, knocking Sevika onto her back. You were starting to throb, but you had to take care of Sevika.

“Fuck,” Sevika watched you, her eyes almost closed. She could not look away from you, and you were not looking away from her.

You felt Sevika begin to tense, her whole body was wound tight. Her hips rolled upwards, into your mouth and you let her. You stopped holding her hip down. Sevika’s hand gripped your hair a little lighter and she shoved you further into her pussy. She was close and you were not letting up.

Your tongue swirled around her clit again and you felt her spasm around your fingers. You picked up your pace and smiled against Sevika. Her whole body began to shake, and her eyes shut tight. You did not look away.

Her face contorted with ecstasy and bliss. Sevika threw her head back and you began to slow your movements. You pulled your fingers from her, but you did not pull away from her completely. She still had a grip on you. So, you continued to lick and suck. Once her hand fell from your head you pulled back and rested your cheek on her thigh.

“You’re beautiful.” You watched her, taking everything in. Sevika did respond with words. She swallowed hard and sat up, a groan leaving her lips. “Sevika?” You did not remove yourself from her legs. Sevika hummed and you continued. “Thank you, I feel better now.”

Sevika leaned down and cocked her head at you. “Did you just thank me?” You nodded and smiled wider. “You’re bizarre.”

“I get that a lot, really.” You pushed back and sat on your butt. “Well,” You clicked your tongue. “I gotta take care of myself now, if you wanted to leave-”

“I think,” Sevika interrupted you, “that you deserve something in return. I’ve been wanting to get between your thighs since you arrived.”

It was the beginning of a long night, and you could not wait to see what was in store for you and Sevika.

[ryrywrites]

Criminal Minds P Links

(divider creds: @cafekitsune)

minors, do not interact. the links below contain porn and graphic nudity. you are responsible for your own media consumption, understanding that the links below contain porn and should not be opened in public. I will block minors who interact.

A/N: The people have spoken! Criminal Minds P links has won the vote, Bridgerton came in a very close second. I was surprised that Criminal Minds won, this was so much fun to make. Spencer's links were so fucking hard to find. BTW happy early 4th of July, for those of you who celebrate! (🎵 I'm proud to be an American 🦅🇺🇸🎵) AND THANK YOU GUYS FOR 100 FOLLOWERS? WHAT THE FUCKKK???? Thank you, hotties! I'm gonna put up a new poll very soon, I'll keep you posted. Anyways, thank you, I luv you, gimme a kiss. Okay, Enjoy!

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒅

❃ He loves being able to fuck your throat

❃ Spence can be such a tease

❃ First time together, you take control

❃ post-prison Reid gets aggressive when you try to take control (tw: slapping)

𝑨𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝑯𝒐𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒏𝒆𝒓

❃ Rough ass pounding while watching TV after a long case

❃ He's a literal giant

❃ Hotch will punish you if he finds out you took care of yourself while he was away

❃ you're just a toy for him to use

𝑫𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒌 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒏

❃ He had you shaking all night

❃ you're folded like a lawn chair while he pounds you

❃ you're so tight but you take him so well

❃ he loves it when you wear lingerie for him

𝑳𝒖𝒌𝒆 𝑨𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒛

❃ Luke loves controlling missionary

❃ He's such a giver

❃ You get a call about a case but that doesn't stop Luke

❃ He thinks it's so sexy, watching you fuck yourself on his cock

𝑴𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝑺𝒊𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒔

❃ He'll pull your hair so hard, you'll get a migraine

❃ A shower after a long day at work gets a happy ending

❃ His stamina never runs out

❃ you're oiled up and bouncing on his cock

𝑬𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒔

❃ fucking in the office once everyone's gone home

❃ Emily loves when you pull her hair while she licks your clit

❃ She allows you to record but only this once

❃ Your first time together was so intimate and loving

𝑷𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝑮𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒊𝒂

❃ You and Pen having rough sex all night

❃ You two thrive off of each other's pleasure

❃ Penelope got a tongue piercing just for this

❃ This time, Penelope wants to see how you like the strap

𝑱𝒆𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒓 𝑱𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒖

❃ JJ loves to see you like this

❃ JJ loves being on top

❃ perfect three-way between you, JJ, and Will

❃ JJ with a strap goes crazy

[bengals-barnesbabe]

California Love

A Tee Higgins Social Media AU

☀️: Coco Jones FC, Offseason Training, Car Shows, & Pool Dates

TW: 18+| language. (Don’t like it, don’t read it)

Main Masterlist

Thursday, Feb 20th

liked by teehiggins and others ♥︎: 43.7k

influencerbabe 💭 bout to go see my man😆 how’s the fit lookin’

21.2k comments ✎

bengalsfan01: ohhh to be tee rn🥵

babefan03: ur stunningggg babe

bengals: gorg❤️

teehiggins: stop takin pics and bring yo fine ass outside😉

⇢ influencerbabe replied: okayyyy🤭

view all comments...

Friday, Feb 21st

liked by influencerbabe and others ♥︎: 144.9k

teehiggins 💭 work hard no matter where

23.6k comments ✎

bengals: elite mentality

trainer: same time tmr?

⇢ teehiggins replied: HELL nah

influencerbabe: hey trainer, don't tire him out too much 😇

⇢ teehiggins replied: who said i was tired 😉

bengalsfan23: why can't i catch my breath

⇢ influencerbabe replied: you and me both, we should sue😤

view all comments...

influencerbabe updated their story!

put me in coach😘 | 85.9k views

teehiggins commented: you aint coming out til I'm done with you 😈

Sunday, Feb 23rd

liked by influencerbabe and others ♥︎: 99k

teehiggins 💭 date night with the one that matters most

tagged: influencerbabe | 78k comments ✎

influencerbabe: butter me up like some biscuits fine ass🥰

⇢ teehiggins replied: yk i like to eat🧈 😁

⇢ bengalsfan04 replied: oh that’s hot

bengals: a man with priorities 🔥

hisfriends: we get next😎

lacarguy: looking forward to meeting you 🐅

view all comments...

teehiggins updated their story!

I think she excited for tmr😂 | 174.5k views

influencerbabe commented: got me fucked up

Tuesday, Feb 25th

liked by teehiggins and others ♥︎: 95.6k

influencerbabe 💭 this is not what i meant when I said I wanted be like fast n furious😒

tagged: teehiggins | 15k comments ✎

teehiggins: whatchu meannnn😁

urfriend: you should’ve specified the boring parts of the movies

♡ teehiggins liked this comment

⇢ influencerbabe replied: oh really teehiggins

bengalsfan63: I don’t think teehiggins thought about where this was going influencerbabe

⇢ influencerbabe replied: no tf he didn’t

⇢ teehiggins replied: ???

view all comments...

influencerbabe updated their story!

he don't know this but imma about to take off lol | 64k views

teehiggins commented: WHERE'D YOU GO

teehiggins commented: SHIT AINT FUNNY BAE ♥︎ you liked

A few minutes later...

liked by influencerbabe and others ♥︎: 238k

teehiggins 💭 got me drivin in circles

102k comments ✎

influencerbabe: 🍱🤐

⇢ teehiggins replied: baby istg🤦🏾‍♂️

friend: man forgot to feed his girl, major L

⇢ teehiggins replied: stfu at least I got a girl

bengalsfan29: I feel like a drive with you could cure depression

⇢ influencerbabe replied: more like cause boredom

⇢ teehiggins replied: it was one time😒

bengalsfan05: not him pissing off his girl multiple times in one post😂

⇢ teehiggins replied: I’ll fix it

♡ influencerbabe liked this comment

view all comments...

influencerbabe updated their story!

did this man just say i’m over dressed😒 | 97k views

teehiggins commented: raw fish aint worth all that, not that I'm complaining

⇢ you replied: thats what i thought🥱

Wednesday, Feb 26

liked by influencerbabe and others ♥︎: 193.7k

teehiggins 💭 my beautiful cali gurl

101.2k comments ✎

influencerbabe: I knew you'd pick the one pic I wasn't ready for smh

⇢ teehiggins replied: that's why its my fav😁

bengalsfan98: FAV COUPLE

bengalsfan402: i hope tee can fight🤭

♡ teehiggins liked this comment

influencerbabe: ig you're kinda cute, ily bae

⇢ teehiggins replied: ilym😌

hisfriend: damn tee😂

bengalsfan12: I was not aware of your game teehiggins, mad respect👌

view all comments...

A/N: dividers made by @saradika-graphics and fic style inspired by @burreauxsss ngl this is much more effort than using my app, kudos to you, L😅

[michanvalentine]

I was mentioned in a pro-Ascendant Astarion post with this quote: "Astarion does not have a well-developed sense of self, and by default, he also lacks many of the skills that a well-adjusted adult should possess." This is the post it’s taken from: click me!

No problem at all—it's public, and I don’t see why anyone shouldn’t reference it. Naturally, the post was in opposition to that statement—generally speaking, I mean—but that’s fine too. Everyone has their own opinion and is free to express it. That’s not the point of my upcoming ramble! xD

It’s just that rereading my own words got me thinking more deeply about the topic and made me want to explore it further.

Now, I’m not a psychologist, but I did study psychology. I took several exams at university and I actually did pretty well, lol. I didn’t complete my studies because life took me elsewhere—most importantly, my daughter was born—but the general knowledge I gained from psychology still follows me in everything I do every day.

So it’s second nature for me to analyze characters from the media I consume through that lens—Astarion included. Of course, this is just my perspective; I can’t say for certain whether the developers intended this for his character or whether they did specific research into his psychological development.

That said, today I feel like going off on a little tangent about this beautiful science. Still in reference to that heart-stealing vampire spawn that I’m aaaaabsolutely not obsessed with.

Let me also add a disclaimer. The concepts mentioned are just examples and cannot be applied literally, as every person is different and reacts differently to situations and stimuli. Likewise, the brain is plastic—neural connections change and adapt, and there is almost never a fixed or definitive condition. Above all, I’m not making any kind of diagnosis! That’s not within my competence! Keep these ideas well in mind!

So, why do I say that Astarion doesn’t have a well-developed sense of self? Let’s take it step by step and talk a little about the concept of the "self". I'm copy-pasting something from another post, lol. Rewriting it from scratch is too much work! xP

The self is quite a complex concept with many facets. Briefly put, it’s shaped by various internal and external factors and reflects a conscious image of "me." In psychology, it’s key to building the Ego of an individual—the capacity to act, understand, organize, and interpret experiences. The Ego provides a sense of uniqueness, coherence, and personal continuity since the self encompasses many "faces." All this forms the personality of an individual, which naturally develops (and changes) throughout life.

Particular attention in the formation of the self is given to sensitive periods, such as early childhood. The self determines the level of self-esteem based on an individual’s assessment of their worth and competence in the characteristics they attribute to themselves (Real Self), their future aspirations (Ideal Self), and what they want to avoid (Feared Selves). The greater the discrepancy between these aspects, the lower the level of self-esteem. Social support and approval, as well as competence in domains deemed important to the self, obviously contribute to perceiving oneself as a person of value.

Astarion, as we know, has had his sense of self fundamentally undermined. For him, the world is divided between those who have power and those who don’t, with the former always being the "winners" in his eyes. The magistrate he once was is long dead, along with his moral compass and the life he used to live—especially after 200 years of servitude to Cazador.

As vampire spawn, akin to a newborn in some respects, Astarion learned to exist solely within Cazador’s world, revolving around Cazador, for Cazador.

There are lines of dialogue within the game that highlight this in a painful and terrifying way. For example, when Tav/Durge directly confronts Cazador, or when Cazador ends up on his knees in front of Astarion after one of his brothers or sisters dies during the ritual. Cazador says: “He [Astarion] is afraid. He’s afraid because all he has ever knows is you and me. And without us, he is nothing.” Or: “And then? What will you be without me? A shade? A specrte in the shadows, devoid of all purpose.”

It’s a terrible thing, but it’s true. Cazador represents everything—Astarion’s entire world—and when he dies, he leaves behind a void that’s even more frightening. And let’s not forget that, in the real world, it takes very little to completely erase a person—and two hundred years in the hands of an abuser is an overwhelming amount of time, a detail that too often gets underestimated or completely forgotten.

The whole matter becomes even more disturbing and painful when Cazador suggests that without Tav/Durge, Astarion would have come crawling back to him with his tail between his legs. To his fucking tormentor. And sadly, it's a painful concept because it really happens in real life—when you have nothing and no one, when you have no means of your own and are completely dependent on another person, no matter how terrifying they are. Cazador is certain that Astarion will return to him, even if it means dying. And it's a concept with a devastating impact.

So Cazador was the domineering father figure, and vampire society functions under strict rules handed down by vampire lords. In this hostile context, without any room for self-expression or choice, Astarion developed a fragmented and damaged self-image. Constantly belittled by Cazador as an individual (small, weak, useless, incapable, all words he uses in the game), always pitted against his brothers and sisters, and degraded from a magistrate to a prostitute (this is important because it’s the only skill—or "talent," as he calls it himself—that Astarion believes gives him any value or power, forming the basis for his self-image). It’s easy to imagine just how high his self-esteem must be, right? Most importantly, he never developed the skills to navigate life as a free individual—at least not in a healthy way.

Good Lord, he thinks that in order to receive support, he has to sell himself to Tav/Durge and offer his sexual services—otherwise, he has no hope of survival! And that’s why I say he doesn’t possess all the skills of a well-adjusted adult. Other glaring examples of this—so glaring they hit you like a punch in the eye—are his inability to say no and to recognize his own limits. And shall we talk about the infamous question: What do you want? The first time, he deflects, and essentially gives the answer the player wants to hear. The second time, he states it plainly: he doesn't know. He doesn't know how to make decisions, he hasn’t done it in 200 years, and the very idea terrifies him to his core. These are all skills that a well-balanced person possesses—let’s not kid ourselves.

Like any mature and well-balanced adult, one knows how to recognize their feelings, define them, communicate them, and most importantly, not fear them. Astarion, on the other hand, is unable—after 200 years of pure shit—to understand what he feels for Tav/Durge, and he won’t be able to until the end of the Pale Elf’s quest. “I don’t know—but isn’t it nice, not to know? You’re not a target, nor a victim, not just one night it's better to forget. But then... whatever in the world could you be?”

So, even if reluctantly (and despite his fear), he ends up leaning on Tav/Durge. He needs a guiding figure to help him figure out what to do because making decisions and acting independently don’t come naturally to him. Especially outside of his talents, sex and survival. He needs to be rehabilitated, re-educated, and to achieve this, he requires a safe and healthy environment where he can experiment and grow, perhaps developing other faces of the self on which to base a new evaluation. Like, I'm not just a slave or a whore: but I'm also a companion, a friend, a lover, a hero and I'm able to listen, to help, to learn, to collaborate, etc.

And let’s not forget that when the fateful confrontation with Cazador is brought up, Astarion explicitly asks Tav/Durge for help. “I need to take the fight to him. And I need you to help me,” he says. How to help him—whether to ascend or not—is up to the player and how they choose to play. But the fact remains: Astarion needs support.

Meanwhile let’s take a look at some of the consequences of low self-esteem:

Difficulty opening up in social settings and communicating one's emotions and needs

Extreme self-criticism

Devaluing or ignoring one’s own qualities

Tendency to constantly apologize and feel guilty for things that are not actually one's responsibility

Tendency to appease others due to perceiving oneself as inferior to one’s peers

Use of negative words to describe oneself

Difficulty making decisions and maintaining personal goals over time

Negative and self-blaming internal dialogue

Belief that success is due to luck, with difficulty attributing accomplishments to oneself

Not believing compliments that are given to them

And now, let’s look at the most common causes for the development of low self-esteem:

Being raised by extremely critical and demanding parents

Being heavily devalued by parents or other authority figures

Being ignored or ridiculed during childhood

Being a victim of physical, sexual, or psychological abuse

Achieving poor academic results

Experiencing episodes of bullying or mistreatment in the workplace

Suffering a financial collapse or a significant breakup

Being subjected to a prolonged period of stress

Suffering from a chronic and persistent medical condition

Suffering from psychological disorders (e.g., anxiety or depression)

Does this remind you of something? Or maybe someone in particular? Does that person, by any chance, have red eyes and pointed teeth?

Naturally, these are just examples, and everything varies depending on the individual, but I believe these points still manage to convey the concept.

They especially give the idea of how much events—and especially the context in which we live—impact our psyche. For example, thanks to neuroscience and increasingly detailed brain imaging, we know that brain areas change according to the factors mentioned above; they train like muscles, so to speak, becoming larger and more reactive every time they are activated.

So, if someone is subjected to chronic stress, the brain areas responsible for managing it will become easily activated, bringing with them a whole series of consequences that affect performance, behavior, perception, thinking, and so on.

Likewise, the more the “right” areas of the brain are activated, the more the brain itself will develop in a healthy and balanced way, forming neural connections that support the tools (perception, thinking, etc) mentioned above.

Meanwhile, other areas—such as those related to stress responses—will remain small and more difficult to activate. (Obviously, brain areas don’t literally “grow” or “shrink” in size, but the connections between neurons (synapses) are strengthened or weakened depending on how much they’re used. This is a principle known as “neural plasticity”: what you use becomes reinforced, what you neglect becomes weaker.)

A curiosity: even our mood influences how we perceive people and the world around us—and consequently, our thoughts and impressions too! xD

This image is heartbreaking, because these brains belong to two three-year-old children—and the differences are significant.

The brain on the right is missing key areas that are present in the one on the left. These missing parts impact the abilities of the child with the smaller brain:

this child will likely be less intelligent as an adult compared to the one with the larger brain,

will be less capable of empathizing with others,

and will be at higher risk of becoming addicted to drugs and involved in violent crimes.

Additionally, the child with the smaller brain is more likely to remain unemployed and dependent on social services, and may develop mental health issues or other serious health problems.

The large difference in size and development between these two brains is not due to illness or injury, but rather to how the two children were treated by their mothers.

The child with the larger, more developed brain was loved by their mother, who was consistently present and attentive to their needs. The child with the smaller brain, on the other hand, was neglected and abused. It is precisely this difference in treatment that explains why one child's brain developed fully while the other’s did not.

Of course, our favorite vampire spawn isn’t a developing child—but the point is that certain environments and experiences have a profound impact and shape many aspects of our lives, making us more or less equipped to face challenges.

At this point, I’d like to focus a bit on the reasoning process in general. It’s easy to believe that when humans think, make decisions, and reflect on a problem or task, they do so in the most rational way possible. And that’s where we go wrong! First of all, the cerebral cortex — the part of the brain responsible for complex cognitive functions such as thinking, awareness, memory, attention, and language — is located in the upper region of the brain. Most stimuli, in order to reach the cortex, must pass through all the lower areas of the brain, which often trigger behavioral responses even before the stimulus reaches rational thought. For example, the activation of the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for danger responses. A silly example: how many times have we jumped out of our skin before realizing that the loud, scary noise was just a window slamming shut? First comes the fear response, then the evaluation of the stimulus follows.

As if that weren’t enough, the brain plays other little tricks on us — without us even being aware of it — because that sneaky thing does a whole lot on its own, especially when it comes to thinking and making decisions.

So... Astarion has a very limited perspective—mostly the one offered by Cazador. As we said earlier, the world is divided into those who have power and those who suffer it. Period. But we all know that in between there are infinite shades of gray, and that can’t be denied. In the same way, Astarion believes that Tav/Durge is the exception to the rule—the only kind person in the world, the one and only for him. But as much as it flatters our ego to hear that, we know very well that no one is that special. It’s always Astarion’s perspective that’s extremely limited. And in fact, here too, Tav/Durge has the opportunity to broaden his view, to point out that the world is full of kind people who would care for him if only he opened himself up and showed kindness in return. This narrow way of thinking and seeing things, this resistance to noticing alternatives, fits perfectly into the category of cognitive biases.

Let’s start with the premise that the human brain needs to be both effective and efficient. That means reaching a result in the shortest time and using the fewest resources. Therefore: when we think and make decisions, we don’t always do so rationally. We use heuristics—mental shortcuts—often following patterns we've used before. A silly example: if I have to cook a dish I’ve made a hundred times, I don’t sit down to rethink how and why I should cook it—I just switch off my brain and do it the way I’ve always done. Many heuristics are good and useful—others, not so much. And when they fall into the latter category, they become biases.

There are many types, but let’s look at one that we all, even us Astarion fans, share. xD Confirmation Bias!

Confirmation bias manifests when we tend to search for, interpret, or remember information that supports our pre-existing beliefs, ignoring anything that contradicts them or isn’t completely aligned.

Once a certain mental imprint forms, new experiences only deepen that groove, without any willingness to explore other interpretative modes—in fact, they tend to further crystallize internal beliefs.

We can say that the person is cherry-picking—in a complex set of data and information, they pick out only what resonates with a belief they already hold, which, in some way, is convenient for them.

The reason is easy to see: if I don’t challenge a belief—even if it’s irrational—I’ll save time, create less friction, and reduce internal and external resistance to a given situation.

Because confirmation bias shows up when a person selects only the evidence that supports their point of view, it easily becomes a self-sustaining system, keeping them locked in an interpretive and experiential microcosm that risks becoming increasingly stifling—a self-built prison.

Astarion is stuck on tracks he’s known inside and out for centuries, forcibly carved into his mind—and for him, it’s all too easy to filter everything through that lens. And this cuts him off from a myriad of possibilities, in a completely unconscious way. It’s like throwing a wrench in your own gears. So Tav/Durge represents an opening to a different value system, one that could replace or at least expand our vampire spawn’s worldview. Not without resistance, of course—those brain connections will get you!

So, to conclude, let’s go back to the beginning and to the statement in question.

"Astarion does not have a well-developed sense of self, and by default, he also lacks many of the skills that a well-adjusted adult should possess."

Yes, maybe out of context it might sound bad. I certainly don’t see Astarion as half a man, incapable of thinking or choosing for himself. But I do recognize that he has serious vulnerabilities that need to be treated with care and taken into account. Not when we're playing—when we play, we do what we like and have fun—but when we analyze him as a character. When Astarion, at the end of the Pale Elf quest, in the good ending, thanks us for saving him from himself, what he means, in my opinion, is exactly this: thank you for supporting me when my vulnerabilities, my fears, my blind spots, and my narrow perspective were getting the best of me. Because, let’s be honest, Astarion’s story is also about this—about rediscovery, about learning to live again, about changing, improving, growing, developing relationships, new abilities and skills. Not as a rogue or as a vampire, or within game mechanics—but as a person.

The point is: Astarion has come out of a horrific situation, one that has to have left marks, wounds, infected pus festering beneath the skin. A situation that never allowed him to understand what he liked, what he wanted, who he really was—simply because he couldn’t express himself, couldn’t think about his own needs, couldn’t say no. Couldn’t develop his sense of self in peace and safety.

A situation that left him unable to face the world and the people in it in a healthy way, unable to identify and express his own feelings, unable to say that damn "no" or to make choices. To decide, yes. And in fact, every time he’s asked what he wants to do, his answers are vague—or he says he doesn’t know, or admits that he’s afraid of those damn choices. He’s afraid of freedom, of consequences, and of everything else beyond the four things he knows—the four fucking things Cazador drilled into him, all around power and control.

And I’m really supposed to believe that the one choice he’s absolutely sure about is Ascension? Hell no. Just like he's not sure he doesn't want to ascend!

References

Rogers, C. R. (1961). On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin. → A foundational text on the concept of the self, self-actualization, and congruence between real and ideal self.

Winnicott, D. W. (1964). The Child, the Family, and the Outside World. Penguin Books. → Explores the importance of a safe environment in the healthy development of the self.

Bowlby, J. (1969–1980). Attachment and Loss (Vols. 1–3). Basic Books. → Describes how early attachment figures shape our internal working models and sense of security.

Erikson, E. H. (1950). Childhood and Society. W. W. Norton & Company. → Introduces the theory of psychosocial development across the lifespan.

Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books. → Explains complex trauma, victim-perpetrator dynamics, and the long-term effects of abuse.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking. → Offers neuroscientific insight into how trauma reshapes the brain and affects emotional regulation.

Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Brain: Reflection and Attunement in the Cultivation of Well-Being. W. W. Norton & Company. → Discusses neuroplasticity, integration, and the development of a coherent sense of self.

Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. → A deep dive into heuristics, decision-making, and cognitive biases like confirmation bias.

Malaguti, E., & Morganti, P. (2014). Psychotraumatology: An Integrated Model for Trauma Treatment. (Translated from the Italian). FrancoAngeli. → Addresses the psychological and neurological consequences of prolonged trauma.

[sizzlingcloudmentality]

thoughts about this fandom, dbf tropes and patriarchy

So... there is this huge mass of people on here, treating tumblr like any other social media platform. They are probably very young and it shows. Young meaning <25 and don't hate me for saying that, babes, because once you're reaching my age you'll see it the same way.

Corona and lockdown fucked with my brain and I can't imagine what it does to someone in their formative years, when a huge part of socializing and human interaction was happening on tiktok and ig. And believe me, I was on tiktok, too. Some creators and the algorithm helped me massively with my life (I'm one of those 'tiktok diagnosed me first' adhders).

But what exactly happened that it turned you into patriarchy's bootlicker? It's known that the general state of the world politics and economics leads to more conservatism. And it always has been the same with women uniting and rising: the other 50% of the population can't have that. They feed the young those rules and morals of women having to look a certain way, having to act a certain way. Having to act age appropriate. (I think we've all read this or something similar on here in the last days/months: "You're in fandom at the age of thirty? Why are you not married and having kids? Pathetic. Get a (conservative) life. Behave accordingly (so you're not a threat to men)")

Women turning against women. This is patriarchy's wet dream. You know how to control 50% of the population? Divide them. Divide them into even smaller groups. And then give them ammunition so one group can control the other. If you haven't heard about Foucault and the panopticon, you should look into it.

The system of power (patriarchy, and its undergroups with the names of capitalism and racism, oh, and government, just to name a few) uses you, dear eager young woman, to their advantage. Every time you post something or send an anon that is judging women, tone policing them, shaming them for simply existing in this space, your humping the bloody boot of patriarchy, just to be called a good girl. But honey, the boot your humping and licking is already stepping on your throat.

They are actively taking away your rights. They treat your body like it's theirs. They take your autonomy away so you're forced to birth more tax payers and soldiers. Forced to birth more women who control other women.

You, eager young woman, anon or not, are supporting the downfall of women, even though it seems like it is not a big deal. Because it's just a silly post on tumblr, right? A little trolling never hurt nobody. A little hating on people you don't know is fine, right? Policing them because they do something you don't like but doesn't harm you in any way is the way they taught you, right? Babe, congratulations, you're a sock puppet for the government you claim to hate.

Listen, idgaf about dbf tropes. I don't like it, so I don't read it. But the second an easy to control group of eager young women is setting their mind on yucking someone's yum? No. Because you are actively restricting a woman expressing herself. And I don't care about if it's nudes, writing or painting certain tropes, being openly queer, a bipoc. I WILL ALWAYS DEFEND WOMEN EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. (Including trans women, and other marginalized groups, too, duh)

Because we have to stay united. All the women before us, millenia of women fighting for the right of education, of being able to vote, to own their own bank account, being taught reading and writing, they didn't do it so you go and judge someone for being active in fandom. Or for loving their body. For writing stories that are, at the core, about being loved and accepted.

I know that barely anyone will read this, especially not those I want to address with this. And even if they read it, they won't be able to reflect on it. Because patriarchy fucks you good, honey, I know. Just know that I will even defend you, when someone comes your way and judges you for something you enjoy but isn't up patriarchy's alley (except being a bitch)

[dzvelinaskebiyars]

JEALOUS BOY

I can't stop writing for him these days hah. Tagging @shintaru @hyukwwn @zyart-jpg @sylith dividers cred: @enchanthings

AN: I don't really like what I write recently but, well, still writing during these times can be helpful for writer's block, right?

You didn't even do anything. It was just a stupid game.

A game called Truth or Dare. You were just with your friends — Hyuk was there too. Y'all had bit of alcohol, dancing, singing but got bored of it too quickly.

"Why not play a game? Truth or Dare maybe?"

You remember your friend offering the idea — it was sweet, innocent idea purely for entertainment purposes.

Until it escalated. Maybe the alcohol kicked, maybe they were just joking — you hope they were — when they dared you to kiss your friend, knowing damn well Hyuk was there too.

Obviously you refused, but the very guy who you were dared to kiss had audacity to kiss you on the cheek.

Yeah, everyone just laughed at that time, except Hyuk and you—especially Hyuk. Throughout the entire party, he was so tense, his mood completely ruined.

And that's how you ended up in this situation, at your home, staring at Hyuk from another room.

He was silent, way too silent. Just scrolling through social media — not distant but just...closed off. His eyes were just glued on his phone even though he was just scrolling through your Instagram page, he hasn't even glanced at the banana you gave him earlier.

With a sigh, you gathered courage to talk to him. It's not like he was scary, it's just strange to talk to him now, you're not used to seeing him upset or jealous — it's rare sight to behold.

"Hyuk." You called him, taking steps towards him. He just glanced at you, his cheek getting squished by the pillow.

Without saying anything else, you plopped on top of him. He didn't resist, but let out a deep sigh instead.

"I'm sorryy." You apologized, for second time already. "About earlier...I'm surprised he did that too. I guess he was drunk and thought since it's a game—"

"Bullshit." He cut you off, his voice firm and unyielding. "At the last party, he had strong alcohol tolerance enough to drink 30 glass of wine, but now you're telling me he got that drunk with just one glass he's been sipping entire time?"

He wasn't jealous, not really — okey, maybe a little, but it was just bothering him how you had no problem being friends with a guy who clearly likes you.

You spoke up again. "So you're saying he did that on purpose?"

"Pretty much, yeah." He huffed, his eyebrows slightly furrowed.

The realization coloured your expression — realization that he wasn't just jealous, but upset. Maybe even feeling kind of betrayed.

To be honest with yourself, you aren't exactly the type who's good with words either — pretty much like him. But even so, that didn't stop you from suddenly kissing his cheek.

He was caught off guard and before he could even say anything, you kissed his nose next, then his other cheek.

"What are you doing?" He asks as you kissed his forehead.

"Making it up to you." You answered.

His lip twitched slightly upwards. "You think that's enough?" He questioned you, raising his eyebrow slightly, his muscles much more relaxed now.

"Then how do you want me—"

You couldn't even finish your sentence when he crashed his lips to yours. His kiss was intense, as if he was trying to claim what was rightfully his, leaving you breathless in the process.

His hand cupped your cheek, his right hand resting on the small of your waist. You almost let out a moan, wanting to back away and inhale air already but he didn't let you, instead he kissed you further.

The intensity of this almost made you dizzy but for a moment, it felt like his lips were addictive, stronger than the scream of your lungs.

When he finally pulled away, letting you catch your breath, you couldn't even process when the kiss ended, as if all you senses were messed up due to sudden rush of oxytocin.

You fluttered your eyes open, met by his dark eyes that reflected your face. Though not deeply visible, his cheeks were flushed pink and his breath — messy.

"Just..." He spoke up. "Don't continue talking to him."

"I won't. I'll block him too." You promised and left small peck on his lips.

His lips stretched in genuine smile — finally. Finally he wouldn't get to see that asshole anywhere near you again, he wouldn't have to get territorial over you every single time you met up with your friends just because he was here. But what made him happiest is he got you all for himself once again. And there was no better feeling than that.

"I love you." He suddenly said, his left hand now pushing the strands of your hair behind your hair.

"I love you too, dummy." You declared, lowering your head to his chest, resting your cheek right where his heart is. His heartbeat was fast and bit messy, it was almost chucklesome. He had his cute side, after all.

You passed remaining hours resting on his chest, even though he fell asleep himself. At least he wasn't upset now, nor jealous or tense. Just safe and relaxed. And you swore you wouldn't make him upset ever again.