#and i'm honestly not even sure i should go online cause i have other things to do as usual

[elitadream]

Hi guys~! ⛅👋

Long time no see! Much longer than I ever intended, in fact. Truth be told, I wanted to make a public post sooner, but I've had a lot to catch up on in terms of notifications and messages since logging back in a few days ago. I've also made some changes that I will address shortly, but first of all I wanted to thank those of you who have reached out with so much care and understanding during my absence. Adjusting has been a slow and fragile process for me -still is-, and I sadly haven't responded directly to everyone yet because of it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your patience and support nonetheless. 🥹 🙏

Long story short, I was gone for five months due to a huge burnout, then progressively found my spark again somewhere along the way and have since mostly recovered. It was my wonderful friend @drones-of-innocence who reached out to me outside of Tumblr, and her sense of initiative is largely the reason why I managed to make this post in a somewhat reasonable delay. 😅💖 With that said however, I must also mention that I've deleted a lot of stuff from my page and have removed most of my work from the public eye as well. This may seem quite drastic and frankly a little unsettling, but I assure you that it was a thoroughly considered and reasoned decision! The thing is that I was still getting lots of notes on these drawings everyday and… To put it simply, I didn't want that anymore. 🙇‍♀️ Experiencing popularity was very detrimental to me in the long run and I needed to put an end to it for the sake of my own wellbeing; at least for now.

Which brings me to my next point.

After mulling it over for a while, I've decided that I would not be returning as an active creator in the Mario community this time around. 👐 Making fanart for this franchise (with such a high and continuously maintained degree of involvement) had a lot to do with my health's decline and I've come to realize that I wanted to direct my focus elsewhere going forward. For that reason, there are things which I know will never be repeated again in the future, both in regards to my art and online presence in general, but that's alright. Things change, as they do and should. I'm looking forward to reuniting with folks and would be very happy to stay in touch with those of you who wish to message me privately. Like my lovely pal @istadris said, what matters most about any fandom are the friends you make in it. ☺️

And speaking of which-

@ody-and-fanatu That's so sweet of you, thank you! 💗 I'm glad you've enjoyed my contribution to the fandom. It was fun while it lasted! 💫 My visual ideas may be gone from my page, but most of my written posts and replies are still there for anyone who wants to revisit those at least, so there's that! And I'd also like to answer some of the asks I still have in my inbox at some point. Knowing that you hold my art in such high regard makes really happy! 🥰 Unfortunately, the other account that I have is reserved for my professional work and I prefer to keep them separate from one other, but the good thing is that I intend to go back to this blog occasionally. Hoping to see you around! Cheers! 🥂

@heiressofdoodles Thanks, I appreciate that! ✨ I'm honestly doing much better than I was earlier this Spring. Back then, I was running on empty and on the verge of crashing without even knowing it. Being in constant physical pain was one thing, but feeling mentally and emotionally drained on a daily basis was another entirely, and something had to be done. It took me a moment to really figure out what was wrong, but thankfully I realized very quickly what was causing it and applied the breaks with all my might. One of my main priorities now is to be more alert and respect my own boundaries to make sure that this never happens again. 🥲

@keakruiser Thank you. 🙏💐 I'm just glad to have found my footing again. Feels good to be able to create freely.^^ Hope you're doing well too!

Special thanks also to @pianokantzart, @jelly-fish-wishes, @katlyntheartist, @triniji and @wahooitsamee for their kind words. 🫂 Your graciousness and consideration means a lot to me. 💝

As for all the nice people who sent me anon comments and well wishes, I tried to summarize my thoughts as best I could in this update, but if there's anything else you'd like to say or know, don't hesitate to ask me anytime! Now that I feel like myself again, I think I'm gonna hang out on Tumblr for a little bit. I'll be excited to see what you guys have been up to in the meantime! 🤗 Wishing you all a very good day and pleasant Fall. 🍂

-elita 🌸

[buddiebeginz]

The bt fandom is absolutely having a melt down of scary proportions

They had and posted a 4 hour Oliver stark Lashing video meeting just absolutely saying the most disgusting and horrible things about him because of last night and for not liking Lou

They are going through all of the pages Ryan follows on Instagram and looking for any post they can say is problematic and saying Ryan personally thinks and believes it and is responsible for them just because he follows the page.

They have been dragging Kenny’s name over some Paris convention that removed Lou’s name from a poll after learning about the issues he’s caused. And dragging Ryan into it even though the entire convention had nothing to do with 911. It was about swat.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Aisha is their next target at this rate.

I wish I could say I'm surprised by any of this but I'm not. I honestly think it's going to get worse with some of them once they realize B/T isn't going to be the big endgame ship they thought it was and even more so when they realize Buddie is happening.

I really think our fandom needs to try our best to distance ourselves from them. I'm talking about the more fanatical abusive people in their fandom. We really need to stop engaging with them. It just makes our fandom look bad and they're not worth the effort. They want to be pissed off because they saw Buck kiss a guy twice and think that meant they were soulmates let them but don't fall for the bait when they say something offensive online. I've been really guilty of that myself even making posts with their content trying to show how bad they've been but it's only been giving them attention so I'm trying to refocus on what matters.

I genuinely feel like this is going to be the season Buddie goes canon. I mean I don't know for certain 100% (I don't work for the show) but everything seems to be lining up that way. It's a really exciting time for our fandom and our ship and the show and we all should be focused on that and not some ship that won't even matter all that much soon.

---

Oh also about Ryan.

Putting this under the cut cause it got long.

The B*mmy's can say whatever the want about him but what happened was his ex fiance used the n word in some old tweets. When they were brought up and she was called out (after Ryan was on 911) he tried to defend her. But later issued multiple apologies :

At the time Oliver and Aisha were clearly upset about this because both of them put out tweets and there's other stuff that was going on behind the scenes to indicate Ryan had a falling out with them. But he's clearly worked to repair the damage because since then he's been a guest at Aisha's wedding and has spent a lot of time with the cast outside of work.

As for him being anti-vaxx or Republican, as those are other things the B*mmy's try to claim about him, I'm not even sure where they get some of that from. I think one of it was because he shared something about Covid from Joe Rogan (during Covid) but a lot of people were scared and confused during that time and there was tons of misinformation going around. The idea that celebrities are immune to that just because they're rich and famous is just ignorant. Also show me where he's shared other vaccine and or health related misinformation because sharing one thing during a really confusing time doesn't make him an antivaxxer.

Also during Covid no one could film on the show without getting vaccinated (this is why Rockmond Dunbar was fired he refused). And since Ryan was a big part of s3 and s4 he clearly was vaccinated. If Ryan was as staunchly antivaxx as B*mmy's make him out to be he would have left the show before getting vaccinated. He's a more well known actor than Rockmond he could have found work elsewhere.

They try to use accounts he's following on insta as proof he's far right but I haven't seen any that are blatantly far right. We also don't know when he started following these accounts or who followed them. His ex could have used his account to follow people when they were still together. I'm also following a ton of accounts on my insta that I don't even remember or interact with anymore this could be the case for Ryan since to my knowledge they haven't found likes by him just that he's following.

One of the accounts in particular they're using as a gotcha for Ryan is this one:

Ryan is following them but I haven't seen any posts of theirs he's liked. It looks like an account about home schooling and living off the land but they do have at least one transphobic post I've seen (about pronouns). Here's the thing though immediately when you look at the front page of their account they aren't marketing themselves as anti lgbtq. Ryan is not responsible for what they're posting. And given all of their other content he likely started following them for one reason and didn't know about their more transphobic views. It's also unrealistic to assume that a busy actor is on social media 24/7 monitoring every single thing that the accounts they follow are posting. If that was an obvious alt-right anti trans account I could understand but it's just not the gotcha B*mmy's are trying to make it out to be.

I'm not excusing that account or their transphobia btw. And I don't think anyone should be following them just that there is nuance to a conversation like this. B/T stans try to say Ryan following this account is the same as Lou having posted an obvious racist post about Nicki Minaj's skin color is the same thing. It's not.

It's pretty hypocritical of them to say we should excuse Lou's old insta posts but yet we're going to hate on Ryan for accounts he's following but isn't even interacting with.

And again I don't know where B/T stans are getting that Ryan is a Republican. He's repeatedly posted anti Trump stuff:

This is from 2016 ☝️and it's because Trump has repeatedly talked about deporting Mexican people.

And like everyone has the right to see feel however they want about what Ryan said in the past (especially bipoc people). But knowing that Ryan is no longer with his ex who I think wasn't the best influence in his life. Seeing him take accountability for what he said and did. Seeing the cast forgive him. That's all enough for me to continue to be a fan of his.

B*mmy stans don't have to like him but they don't get to keep attacking him for stuff he's done in the past. Lou on the other hand has never apologized for his insta stuff even when called out about them. You'll also never get me to believe he was hacked when he responded with that spitting on blind children thing on twitter. Plus him minimizing T*mmy's racism and homophobia down to teasing.

If Ryan was still doing messed up stuff I'd call him out too and expect others to do the same. The problem with B/T stans is no matter what Lou does they'll defend him. It's part of why they attack Ryan. They want to get the attention off of Lou. But they can't sit there and say how dare you defend a racist and then defend every single thing Lou did even just this year.

Sorry this got so long anon. I've just been seeing people (one account in particular) attacking Ryan on twitter recently and I'm so over it. If you made it down this far I love you forever. ❤️

[bb-olicity]

On An Island Alone

It’s been 3 weeks since Chenford’s breakup and I feel like I’m on an island… alone.  The day after 6x06 aired, I made the decision to walk away from The Rookie. Well, at least until after the finale. I’ll decide if I'm walking away permanently once I check online and see how the season ended.  And before I go any further, to anyone who wants to say I'm not a true Rookie and (most importantly) Chenford fan: I have just as much right to stop watching the show as you do to keep watching it.

So why am I choosing to no longer watch the show?

The main reason I started watching the show in the first place is/was Chenford and I can’t sit there and watch them redo Seasons 4 and 5A and I won’t. Especially considering the fact we already know from Eric’s comments to TVLine they’re not getting back together by the end of the season finale.  I do not see them getting back together until at least the midseason finale next season.  Actually, if I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure they will get back together or if they even should.  I know me saying that will make a lot of people mad, but after reading Melissa and Eric’s post-episode interviews, I got a sense of finality when they were talking about Tim and Lucy’s relationship as a couple and the breakup.  Plus, I honestly don’t see how they can come back from what they did, which leads into the other reason why I’m not watching anymore.

Tim’s whole storyline rubs me the wrong way in so many ways.  They could’ve brought in his military past in so many other ways and still had him struggle without destroying his character in the process.  As it is, the storyline feels extremely forced just to cause drama for the sake of drama and, for me, irredeemably destroyed Tim’s character.  They completely erased 5 ½ seasons of character growth in the matter of only 1 ½ episodes.  And I'll never be able to see Tim the same way again, even if he goes to therapy.  I personally would never be able to trust him again and I honestly don’t see how Lucy could either.  That’s also why part of me feels like they should not get back together. Yes, I know it’s a short season and everything is condensed, but Alexi and the writers should not have done the storyline this late in the season, knowing they would not be able to do it justice with only 4 episodes left and not knowing the show’s fate by the time they finished filming the finale.  Since they were planning to break them up, I feel like they should’ve done it at the end of the premiere or by 6x03. That way there would’ve been time for Tim and Lucy to work through their struggles individually then work them as a couple by the end of the season.

Why do I feel like I’m on an island alone?

After the episode aired, a lot of the fandom was angry and a good number said they were done to show.  However, over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed that number dwindling and a lot fans are now justifying the breakup who weren’t before and they have absolutely every right to.  I can see where they’re coming from, to a certain extent.  Tim and Lucy both were hiding things from each other since they started dating and would just gloss over things that needed deep and meaningful conversations to work them out.  That said, I personally will never agree with the breakup or the whole (Tim’s) storyline and will always maintain the breakup was completely unnecessary and they could’ve (and should’ve) stayed together and worked through their struggles as a couple.  So yeah, I’m on an island alone… and that’s okay.

[lunastarnight]

(Writing thing, mostly about Curt, sorry if there are any grammar or writing mistakes, english isn't my first language and I don't have much practice writing stuff like this)

Curt shot awake, his breathing heavy.

It happened again.

So many times, he had had that same fucking nightmare. Ever since the Inbetween, his dreams had just been reliving that time, every single thing that happened.

Being trapped. Terrified. Hurt.

He got out of bed, hoping that maybe some tea will help calm him down again.

When it had started, it was noticable, Curt quickly growing very outwardly tired, with heavy eyebags, slumped posture and his coffein intake rising drastically, Curt just trying anything to stay awake and not fucking pass out or anything. Honestly, those dreams terrified him.

But he could only keep up his "Everything's fine" facade for so long, it eventually just kinda crumbling when he passed out while they all were at Christians place, Curt almost hitting his head on the kitchen counter if they hadn't caught him.

Curt in all honestly still isn't quite sure how he managed to both not get put in a mental hospital, and still get medication for his sleeping issues. He obviously couldn't tell the truth, cause how fucking insane would that sound? "I got tortured by an eldritch Anime girl that kept me trapped between Universes, and I can't sleep anymore because I'm just reliving that every time I try to sleep". He had told the others the truth after they left the hospital, but he really could not bring anything like that with the Doctors. Instead he pulled some lie about "work stress" and "recently getting out of a shitty relathionship", and thankfully that worked.

After a bit of talk with his therapist, he managed to get some sleeping medications. The biggest thing he noticed when taking them, was that he just didn't dream at all, but he honestly prefered that over that Nightmare.

He was still supposed to take them, but of-fucking-course the Pharmacy wouldn't have the refill of his prescription until Monday!

Curt let himself sink onto the couch, the warmth of the mug in his hand helping to ground him a little. He was just so fucking excausted, he just hoped those nightmares would stop soon.

He couldn't be the only one with nightmares, could he? Yeah, he was trapped in the Inbetween, but everyone had some gruesome stuff happen to them. Wether it be Den turning into a Chaos God, Ivan just getting stabbed over and over- was there nothing? Was he really the only one affected by any of this?

Curt sighed, taking another sip of his tea. He stood up, tea in hand, slowly going back to his bedroom. He didn't know, he couldn't know on his own, and he honestly wasn't sure if he should ask, if any of them even wanted to talk about it. And really, at this point, Curt didn't really want to know that, as much as he just wanted to try and sleep. Maybe he could just find something online, maybe there was something he could just trick his brain into just fucking staying asleep for the whole night with, some Placebo-effect crap.

Hopefully.

[winged-cries]

Hello. I’m a woman of color (Black American) who writes and reads dark fiction. I’m in my mid twenties but all my life I’ve been interested in the macabre and grotesque. Since I was a little girl. But lately I’ve been in this mindset of shame and guilt. Maybe because I know that it’s not normal to want to read or write about those things. I feel embarrassed any time someone asks what I’m reading or writing. I guess what I’m trying to get at is…how do I let these feelings go? I know I’m not harming anyone and it’s just fiction but people can be so judgmental and cruel. Sorry if this is a lot but this has been weighing on me. Thanks and I love your blog.

i'm so sorry that you're going through this, no one should be made to feel shame over something so harmless. which is what you should consider -- what harm are you causing?

it's actually very normal to want to read and write about pretty much anything. i'm not sure what "dark fiction" means for you, but there's no topic that i would ever consider harmful in itself. it's one of the issues i have with this term actually; it's very vague and everyone has different ideas of what would be considered "dark". a lot of people watch violent movies that depict murder but few people would consider them "dark fiction". there are ways of depicting violence that are socially acceptable, but it's not necessarily because they're less harmful than others.

i do think fiction can cause harm in the sense that art both reflects and impacts society, but this is a very nuanced and complex topic, and i absolutely do not believe that there's anything one can't write or read about. i'm sure you agree with me on this though, but still can't help feeling shame and guilt. i used to feel guilty too and i'm not sure how i overcame that. i guess by having this discussion with myself and with others, and by talking openly about my interests (at least online). i remember being a kid and looking up "movies about rape" and "movies with extreme rape scenes". it's pretty disturbing to think about a child doing that but i can honestly say all it ever did was help me.

of course one might be interested in a number of violent or othewise controversial themes without having had any kind of personal experience related to them. it's simply a personal interest and there's nothing wrong with that either. some people like romantic comedies, some prefer rape & revenge. i don't think either of these people are doing any kind of harm, even though i can be critical of both genres (and enjoy them too).

the macabre and the grotesque are part of the human experience. "dark" themes are as much part of life as any other. it's fine to be interested and it's fine to write and read about whatever interests you. my only advice is to respect your own limits, and always be critical of everything you consume, whether or not it's considered "dark", morbid or deviant.

i unfortunately don't have any other advice. i wish i could help you get rid of this shame, but i think it's something only you can do. it's a processs, and it involves self-knowledge and open discussions. i hope you'll get there, as i have, and feel comfortable with your interests and your choices.

like i said before, there is a larger discussion to be had about how fiction impacts us individually and as a society, but i don't think that's relevant here, as it applies to "ligther" themes as much as to whatever is considered "dark", morbid or grotesque.

[yutaholic]

Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough” or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

[system-of-a-feather]

Is it really final fusion if there are parts that you're still keeping separate and disowning from yourself? These parts deserve to feel like they have a right to exist, that healing is possible for them and that they are not a lost cause. It isn't fair to call yourself final fused when these parts are being excluded from your recovery. Repressing trauma is not healthy and it isn't sustainable to do that forever. It would be healthy if you worked with them, held compassion for them, and helped work through their trauma beliefs with them. Sometimes to heal you need to be disregulated sometimes, because you're letting yourself finally feel the feelings, and they've been kept away for so long, naturally it will cause disfunction for a while.

Bro, you are assuming an awful lot off of an awful little combined with a lot of poor interpretations of that post. I also find it a bit rude and crossing some boundaries for you to be 1) telling me how my vulnerable parts feel 2) telling me that I dont know what >I< feel and 3) telling me how my vulnerable parts - both when they are operating seperate from me and fused with me - should be treated.

If you think you aren't doing that and are not encroaching on territory you don't know about (ie my trauma, my system, my recovery and my healing) then please, tell me the details about my vulnerable trauma holders that you seem to know more about than I do, because man, between being literally them and living 24/7 with them and talking with them for my entire life, I really thought I'd know them better than a random anonymous stranger online. Go figure. You learn new things every day.

Putting aside the honestly disrespectful breach of boundaries under the assumption its well intended, I will continue the rest of this post assuming you asked me about how the post on how we handle our vulnerable parts relate to our fusion rather than assuming and judging because I honestly think the question I am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you MEANT is actually a really interesting one! Because it can be totally confusing how our system that does not actively engage and actively interact and actively force our trauma holders to go through trauma processing could POSSIBLY fuse with them.

(Actually I have to comment on a few points of confusion and disclaimer on this before I can fully just move onto the next topic in case there is some really strange miss understanding or reading comprehension issue that might make the interesting part of this response confusing if not addressed)

---

Confusion and Clarity Section:

To remove any potential confusion, I'd first like to state that it is "really" final fusion because they're literally me, I know what they feel, I know what they think and I know what they've been through. I can only write the post about how we used to handle things and how we operate now AND speak for those parts because I AM them like, genuinely and fully. Not even "technically them" I deadass AM them, so please don't assume I can't speak for myself and my own trauma and recovery. I know myself and my needs.

There isn't really a debate whether or not we are "finally fused" or what aspects of our life determine "final fusion" other than, you know *checks notes* the fact we literally operate like 75% or more of the time as a complete solid whole with little to no dissociation and honestly even these days, no disconnect between our identity beyond a general and standard IFS way of navigating complicated feelings.

Clearing up that odd comment on "really final fusion", I'm pretty sure you are referring to this post? And if so, I think you missed the part where we have always stated they are absolutely welcome to engage and hang out and we don't "lock them up" or repress them in any way or form.

---

Final Fusion & Our Sleepy "Dragons" / Trauma Holders

The post in reference discusses some of how a lot of our heaviest trauma holders and parts that have been extremely disconnected and dissociated from life for years actually don't regularly spend a lot of time near the front and our system / whole has STRONG rules against EVER forcing those parts to "recover" or process their trauma or "engage in the real world and life and exist" if they don't want to.

It's a concept our system didn't really understand and used to REGULARLY do the opposite of because of good intent and good will "these parts deserve to live and exist and they deserve to heal and be better and so they need to heal from their trauma or they will be forever suffering and they deserve better" and its something we spent over a year learning from one specific part in our system - a major trauma holder - that it is far far more HARMFUL than helpful and that A LOT of that good intent / good will interest in making parts heal came from a lot of 1) projection of me wanting to be perfectly healed right now and projecting that need for healing onto other parts and 2) very trauma-unresponsive, inconsiderate, and not respecting either the autonomy, individuality, or ability for those parts to speak for themselves and their own needs.

Trauma informed care, both internally or with other people, is built on a principle of respecting the traumatized individual and ACTIVELY listening to what THEY are saying and what THEY need and what THEY are experiencing. Often trying to push your ideals, your agenda, your recovery schedule and pacing and trying to push an individual to heal faster than they are ready, serves in small amounts of reinforce the idea that the traumatized individual can not make their own decisions, they do not know how they feel, they do not know whats best for them, they shouldn't have a say in how they are treated, and that they have to conform to another person's standards and heal correctly.

I would LOVE for those parts to come sit with us and talk with us for hours upon hours about trauma. I would LOVE fro them to cry and throw things and be in crisis. We actually get slightly excited whenever those parts are around and in crisis because it gives us an opportunity to support them, show them some coping skills, and help them learn that life is actually pretty okay. Some of our best and most happiest moments (on both sides) have been in those post-crisis where those parts have, for the first time in their entire life, EVER felt ANY support from ANYTHING or ANYONE and those moments are so warm, healing, and impactful on both the supporting and the supported end.

That being said, while our whole and our supporting parts would LOVE to be able to speed run those moments until those parts are completely comfortable existing immediately, that would require us to ACTIVELY make them suffer, feel pain, and relive their trauma when they otherwise would not have to.

These parts have COMMUNICATED to us, when they were more stable and when they were not, that they >do not< want to regularly be around the front and out because everything as it is is too much for them. They have actively asked us to let them rest and have extended periods of calm and peaceful sleeping when things are good so that they can have a break from chronic suffering.

Yes, if we dragged them out, made them process trauma, made them look it straight on, made them dysregulated, eventually they'll "get over it" and "get used to it", but that is only after EXCESSIVE pain as those parts are EXTREMELY prone to being thrown into deep and intense flashbacks. We COULD quickly desensitize them and get them used to life, but the quick method is honest to god cruel, inconsiderate, trauma-unresponsive, and arguably traumatizing to those parts.

Instead, we listen to what those parts have communicated and meet them where they are at in their recovery. Those parts have told us that they are in *peaceful* sleep when they are not triggered and that sleep / distance actually helps them process the sheer amount of stimuli and information that is required for them to regain some stability.

Of course, sometimes triggers come in our life that forcibly wake them up and they get thrown into flashbacks and thats okay! Not ideal, not fun, and I feel bad for them but its okay! Because while they are suffering deeply, they are also surrounded with SO many parts that are actively and intently here to support them, help them, show them the world, and help them develop an understanding for the present and coping mechanisms that are healthy.

And usually after we have helped calm them down, showed them around life and given them some time to enjoy and appreciate existence, they - in a good mood that is now regulated and calm - actively ask to go back to sleep because they are 1) tired and 2) have a lot of new things to process and anything more would be overloading.

And so we have parts - specifically Lin - who is good at holding the front and keeping them company while they fall back to sleep, much like a parent reading a kid a bed time story. It's a very healing and very helpful and trauma informed way of approaching, supporting method that respects the communication and feelings of the individual parts and minimizes the amount of unnecessary stress, triggering, and flashbacks for those parts.

And thats all when we operate as independent parts - which we mostly do when those parts need support because its easier for us to give them focused support when operating as independent parts than as a fused whole as it can be hard to utelize our coping skills as a fused whole when they're triggered. (Think of it like using IFS framework, but instead of parent part and inner child, they just have actual names)

As a whole, I don't "stop being those parts" or exclude them, I am still them and their traits are integrated into the whole. As a fused whole those parts can actually exist and engage in the world A LOT easier than as individual parts because they themselves don't have to be over active and the predominant part of the brain while the trauma they hold can really just remain sleeping in the back. As a fused whole they aren't "trauma holders that are sleeping" they are Feathers and their trauma that they held remains sleeping.

And as a fused whole, I don't think I have to be chronically experiencing and processing my trauma to be me, to be happy, or to be present. My trauma isn't my identity and I am not any less "existing" by not chronically living in my trauma.

As a fused whole I'm literally just Feathers. I got "brains" because I know where certain thoughts and feelings would have come from as individual parts, but like... I'm Feathers. I'm literally just fucking Feathers XD And I literally am those vulnerable trauma holding parts as well. And thank you for your concern, but as those vulnerable trauma holding parts, we're fine and honestly enjoying our life the way it is man.

If you are really that concerned about us, please check to make sure you aren't projecting your own struggles because if you are, please take care of your trauma holders and give them lots of love, support, patience and understanding and please don't rush them to heal faster than they need to.

(the pink is very much explicitly from an Evaline brain which is one of those heavily traumatized vulnerable parts; I am explicitly calling that part of this out because I am genuinely very fucking proud and surprised any of them actually wanted to voice anything for themselves and I am gonna reinforce that cause its awesome and I love that for them)

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hi again, it's the crunchy fish stick! (oops, late reply...been busy lol) You and your QPP are really cute and I'm happy for you guys!!

Honestly I reached out to begin with cause at the time there was this online friend who I wasn't sure if I was squishing or crushing on or not at the time (he felt similarly, but without the squish part) and we agreed to give it some time to see if we should try dating or just leave it as is...and I felt like I should research because of that to find out if a) maybe I'm arospec, b) maybe we should QPR, c) is it really that difficult to be long distance.... After an evening of research and some thinking afterwards, it turns out that I feel aroflux! (and if you feel aroflux then that means you are one, like with everything else) Soooooo we had a conversation and now we've been dating for almost a month despite being half the world apart/having a 10 hr gap (funny how that's kinda similar to you and your QPP lol) and it's nice

He's allocishet (is that actually offensive?? I still don't know ^^;) but it felt great that he actually listened to my idea of "should we QPR" (even though we didn't go with that) and he didn't mind that I'm aroflux and yeah, it was a good feeling. Hopefully we won't miss each other too much cause we're both kinda busy people and also unable to travel for some years...though I guess ping spree-ing (spamming) each other on Discord in our spare time helps lol

Ummm idk if it's okay to be prattling on so much with technically irrelevant stuff ^^; but it felt right to share. Tbh I feel like that other anon who said sex was like donuts to them, but for me it's romance--it's good and fun, enjoyable when it happens, but I could see myself living my life without it just fine. (though I've only been in an online situationship that ended badly before, until recently with my now-bf...) I think the idea that being without a romantic partner for life or being a forever virgin is the worst thing ever to happen...I think people who have that idea and mindset stuck in their heads are kind of silly tbh--there's so much to life outside of romance or sex! (I'm sure you know that fully well too lol, this is me agreeing) Although I'd like to try kissing and other romantic gestures or maaaaaybe sex in the future, they don't seem like goals to me atm--is this something allos could think too?

Now that I've started "the thoughts" and prattling, I think I could talk even more but I should stop now lol

Hope you feel awesome--cause both you and your work/comics are awesome--and this is the crunchy fish stick signing off for now because she has a tendency to go on too long!

(one last thought: QPRs are like super customizable t-shirts?? how's that take?)

Aaaaaaa hello!! Thank you so so much for sending news and sharing your experience, this was super heartwarming to read TwT I'm so glad it turned out well for you guys and I wish you the absolute best!! And good luck with the distance too! Though hey, if you're giving it a try it means you're confident you can deal with it, so I have faith in you guys^^ May you be happy and vibe the way you want to vibe!

(Also I quite like that take! My godson when I explained my QPR to him also used the word "customized" to sum it up in his own words, so that definitely resonates with my experience as well)

[onlyseokmins]

too many holes to choose from • hhu

Pairing: hip hop unit x afab!reader

Genres: smut (minors dni!), fivesome w/ hhu, CRACK/HUMOR ABSOLUTE CLOWNERY don't take me or this seriously at all

Warnings: unhealthy coping mechanisms in order to take four dicks in the most impossible way = best crack content out there ❤️ kinda gross and weird if taken too seriously (don't be like mingyu)

WC: bulleted list 🤷🏻‍♀️

A/N: this is what happens when hhu are being whores onstage + @duhnova (credit to their silly sexci brain) and I are up way past our bed times... Might be expanded on seriously in the future 😅

CONCEPT: You've got four dicks for the taking and offer up your seven holes to accommodate them 🫡🫦

Mingyu:

"There's... more?"

Poor baby is baffled when you ask which of your seven holes he would prefer

Only really learned about the main three just a few weeks ago

He's so confused and unsure about what other four you're referring to

Eyes blown wide, mouth hanging open when you attempt to explain

But you decide he's a lil too dumb (affectionate) to follow

WILL take you too seriously

He's also too big for your other tiny, special holes

He can use and choose from the regular ones however he likes

Oh and he does

Proving what he learned about the three main holes very well in the end

Vernon:

Does his little eyebrow wiggle and pouty lips — you know what I'm talking about — when you say you'll take him up your nose

"You'll what?" Are... you sure?"

Listen

You're going to snort this man

You're going to make it happen

Because that's just how things should be

And he's like how and why

Will be very doubtful, concerned, amused, and somehow turned on by your absolute weirdness and tenacity

Of course, that doesn't work out but there is a hole somewhere close enough that you can accommodate him in

So your nose is somewhere involved in there but not in the dick-taking way and that's a win for all of you really

Seungcheol:

"I've got two ear holes," you inform him.

"So do I, sweetie. You're not special."

“No, you don’t get it, sweetie, 'cause you’re not hearing me obviously... I want you to stick your dick in them.”

That shuts him up real quick

He obviously doesn't think this will work

But he can't help but be curious wtf happens if he sticks his dick in one ear does it come out the other???

Listen, brain worms but like dick worms

Anyways, y'all gonna end up having a deep conversation about how this could all work while he's balls-deep inside of you so it's a win-win

Love a man with a sexci, thought-provoking brain (derogatory)

Wonwoo:

The only normal one

And by normal I mean he isn't having any of your shit

Not in his Christian Minecraft server

*pushes his glasses up anime-style*

"NOW LISTEN HERE YOU

HEATHENS — "

He's going to fix y'all make you worse

WILL educate everyone on the proper holes to fill

Various positions, many times...

Takes education very seriously

Might even find some online pdf / article for mingyu to study and you to write an essay on later

He will consider asking cheol to demonstrate along with him because he trusts the older just enough despite the morbid brain conversation

Simply pretends he does not have two ear holes to hear

Honestly though by the time he's done with you you're going to be wishing you had those four extra holes because he's a beast *sweats*

Anyways y'all have normal fivesome fun sexci time and it's even more enjoyable after having some good humored clownery beforehand 🙏🏻

[castlebyersafterdark]

one of the things that’s so encouraging is this off-season we haven’t received ANY reason to be worried that byler isn’t happening and every reason to believe it is. The only arguably pro-Mlvn content we got is the rooftop scene/3 waterfalls gate, but that scene can mean many different things and pales in comparison to the numerous byler images we’ve scene and the evidence that finn is filming heavily with noah and not with millie. there were also rumored “leaks” like the field makeout session, but pics or it didn’t happen lol.

The showrunners and shawn and the actors have simply not posted any pro-Mlvn content which is a crazy thing for what is allegedly the “main ship of the show.” We’ve gotten lumax and jopper but no mlvn! Which is honestly surprising to me cause I expected them to be playing up this triangle and giving us reason to “doubt,” but I see none!

Now is there time for things to change? sure! we’re still a ways away from season 5. perhaps there will be some mlvn crumbs in the teaser or the trailer. but like… as of right now, the writing is on the wall and I’m sure even the redditors and the hardcore twitter mlvns have to be feeling it

All they can do is hold onto the hope that there’s a lot of top-secret mlvn content being filmed, or mike and el are separated YET AGAIN but will find their way back to each other in the finale, which. okay. heteronormativity aside (and byler obviously being endgame aside), surely the duffers are more creative writers than that lol

It would be one thing if this was a situation where in between filming, all we heard was crickets from production and what inevitably leaked from paparazzi was all we got - but official sources do share things here and there and... yeah. Yeah. It's very suspicious that there hasn't been much that seems to indicate that Mike and El should even be thought of as a pair.

We got one picture with the two of them together, walking in a field, which I'm pretty sure was them walking to the radio station to film the rooftop scene. I side with the people who think production planted or paid paps to leak that video themselves, or at least let it happened, didn't buy back the footage as often happens with paparazzi content. Why was it so clear? Why did they allow it out there? And I think it's because there's nothing to be interpreted from the video as romantic. It looks like a break-up or reconciliation as two people working on repairing a friendship. Body language. Facial expressions. I don't believe most lip readers, but some things seems spot on. Get those who are savvy to online fandom and media hype to get used to the idea of those two parting ways. Yes - we see what we want to see. Mlvns see that clip as cementing them as a couple. Byler fans will insist it's a break-up. Yes, I'm a Byler fan... but come on? If we're all so wrong and it's a romantic scene, well. I'll feel trapped in a twilight zone nightmare world where nothing makes sense because it does not look romantic at all. They're such a boring bland couple if so. That wasn't romantic energy or chemistry.

We've seen soooo many photos or Will and Mike or WillandMike and not much of El at all, let alone with her love interest. What would be the harm in showing some Mlvn stuff if they were continuing onward? They're splitting. Mike is being shown with the real love interest.

I think. After season 4. Noah was excited about the possibility of Byler and was very in tune with the fandom. He encouraged it. I think he maybe had an inkling of where it was going, but it wasn't cemented as fact. He interacted with a lot, right? Still did sporadically even recently. But I don't think he of all people would be so cruel as to placate fans and encourage/indulge stuff if it wasn't gonna happen, because he had to have known once filming was underway where things were going. It really would be so cruel, wouldn't it? They could have snipped it already. And oh, we'd hope they're better storytellers than that, right? Mike and Will are spending most of the season together. Who knows were El is? But in the last season? It should be about Mike and El FINALLY past all the relationship "what is going on with them" at this point to end up fighting this thing together - and nothing indicates that's what's going on. If they, yet again, have them separated and reunite right at the end - boooooring and terrrrrible. I don't think that's what's going on. I trust them. Maybe too much. But it's where I've landed and my feet have sunk into the cement of it all.

[anonbeadraws]

for the weirdly specific ask game: super curious about 5, 12, 21, and 27 :>

Thank you so much, I'm gonna respond to all the lovely folks who asked me here too about the weirdly specific art ask game! (Thank you to @phantomseptember, @wyrmzier , @grumpyoldsnake, @philcoulson-redtapeninja @swordsandspectacles and the other anons for asking!)

1. Art programs you have but don't use? I don’t think I have one! I’ve been playing on Photoshop for so long, though I’m thinking on getting Clip Paint Studio for comics at one point!

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)? Mmmm, often find I draw folks looking to the left, but wouldn’t say I prefer one way or the other, especially when I’m flipping the canvas at least three times to make sure they’re all even!

3. What ideas come from when you were little? Mmm, lots of fantasy things, I have this old story about the green man that I made when I was 16 and it’s been rolling and remade ever since! It really needs another go other, it was my first dip into anything non cisgender before I knew, y’know?

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw? Mmm, probably cars. Hate drawing cars, so annoying.

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself? Ohhh, probably, 80%, but that’s what happens when you’re chronically online like me lol

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw? Mmm, love a big floofy skirt or shirt, all those folds, very hard but so satisfying when I get rolling

12. Easiest part of body to draw? Mmm, eyes n’ mouth? I wanted to get good at them ever since I was a kid, cause they’re the expressive bits! I want to get better at Hands, the gay part of the body.

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing? I honestly can’t think of any? I guess I try n see the good in any art, even if it’s not my vibe; the colours, the lines… There’s always something

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)? At home! I try and keep Digital art to my desk, but If I’m doing ink art for fun, it’s on my bedroom floor, praying that I don’t mess the carpet

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy? Mmmmmm, mouths and hair?

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways? Ohhh, mmm, lineless art! the amount of effort that goes into it, love it!

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with? Iiii should be doing it more! But it’s usually a pretty lady with voluminous hair and fangs, it’s a good go to!

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated? Mmm, I think, it’s this piece, It really vibes with what I want to make at the minute, deep shadows, good lines, good Shapes! Thanks again for asking me!!!

[anonzentimes]

LONG ASS ASK INKOMING ZEN so its super cold in brazil today so typing is a little hard and there might be weird typos fkshdkjd but

when i was like 14 i had online friends that were also 14 and were into danganronpa but all they talked abt was the flaws of the series and how much they hated the more problematic aspects of it, it was a constant wave of gender discourse and sexuality discourse and nagito is a bad portrayal of mental illnesses and miu iruma is too sexual and this character is bad cause of xyz and that character is bad because of this and that and honestly whatever the fuck else you can argue about this series about, whenever i mentioned that danganronpa seemed fun and id like to get into it my friends would tell me that its not worth it, that the series is fucking horrid that i should run the other way and be glad i never entered the hellhole that is being a danganronpa fan

so thanks to this and like constant fucking weird shit coming out of the hell hole that is the fucking dr fandom on Twitter for like, four whole years I straight up didn't touch the series. a series that I was so fully aware that I would love btw, because i was always into gorey art and i found the art of dr so pretty and the characters had such intresting designs and the pink blood was so cool and i love the killing game genre and the mystery solving aspect, of danganronpa seemed so cool, i did not go near this series with a fucking 10-ft Pole

until literally maybe some months ago at 18 years old a streamer I like said on stream something like "oh yeah danganronpa is fucking awesome im so glad i played it" and I was like fuck it, this guy has high standards, if he likes it it cant be that bad. and so I downloaded trigger happy havoc and i was so pleasantly surprised by it, sure case 2 is a case that exists but like other than that i immediately fell in love with this franchise, i loved almost everything about the game, then i started sdr2 and nagito took over every single part of my brain within 0.2 seconds of gameplay AND DR2 IS SO PEAK JUST IN GENERAL udg was super fucking fun i love touko and komarus relationship and the warriors of hope so much, dr3 was awsome even if i didnt really care for future arc despair hope and 2.5 were awasome the end of drv3 hit me like a truck and it genuenly took me a couple hours to understand that my beloved class 77b wasnt just retconned out of existence and currently im trying to kill executive dysfunction and procrastination and read dr0 and again want to replay dr2 cause my hyperfixated ass would rather play the game when she should be alseep to know what happens next than play it when she isn't too tired to understand whats happening lmao

and after i was done with the series i sat down and thought about how i let 14 year olds on the internet who im not even friends with anymore keep me away from something that now i hold so dear and close to my heart, and i wonder how many people who would love danganronpa will never give the series a chance because not only does the wider interner find it cringe but the fandom constantly tell potential new fans to stay away and act like its the worst midea ever written, the way some people are unable to enjoy what they love without guilt is so sad because not only does it affect them but also others

and this is super personal but i wonder how danganronpa would have impacted me if i got into it back when i found out about it at 14, how much different having danganronpa to hang on to would have made my life when i was burning out at school because i was trying to survive neurodivergency hell with undiagnosed autism and possible adhd

dangabronpa is awsome i love it so so much

YOU JUST MADE ME FEEL SO UNBELIEVABLY YOUNG OH MY GOD. I HEARD ABOUT DANGANRONPA WHEN I WAS 11 I'M PRETTY SURE AHHHH HAHA!!! Overall I think this raises a good lesson that we should trust our guts and from our own opinions on media. Look into things you're curious about, learn if it's worth it yourself, and come to your own conclusions! I feel bad for those who never get to understand Nagito Komaeda, let alone know he exists. This franchise has some negatives but the positives outweigh the issues entirely to me and I wish people gave it more of a chance. dangabronpa is awsome INDEED lmfao.

[tuulikannel]

That poll I reblogged, about having another name than your birth name, led me to think about my online nick... I can't remember for sure when it was, but I think it might have been around the year 2000 when I discovered fanfiction.net and started reading fanfics. And then I figured I should come up with some consistent nick to sign my (anon) reviews.

I've never really had any nicknames, so at first I didn't have a clue what to use. Then I thought that maybe something from Finnish mythology would be nice, and in the end ended up with Tuulikki. Tuuli means wind, -kki is an ancient ending for female names. It was also my mother's middle name, and I think this was relatively soon after her death (which means it'd have been in 2001). That made the choice pretty obvious to me.

Honestly, back then I had no idea I was picking a name I'd be using for years to come, everywhere online. ^^; I just wanted something with which to sign my reviews... After a while I dropped off the -kki ending (Tuulikki is very prone to being misspelled by non-Finns, I noticed ^^;;) and so I ended up with Tuuli. As both Tuuli and Tuulikki are often taken, I sometimes use other variations, like tuuli-chan (heh) back in the old days of LJ, or tuulikannel (wind harp) here on tumblr. That latter one's fitting also in the sense that I play kannel (or kantele as it's more commonly called. A Finnish traditional instrument.) Sometimes I've also used tuulentupa which literally means wind's cottage and figuratively, castle in the air. (We're not that fancy here, we just have cottages, no castles XD)

Another reason I like the name tuulikannel is that there is a poem by Eino Leino by that name. It made a great impact on me when I first read it, and only way later I've fully understood why. I did see myself in it. I have no idea what the poem really is about, but the beauty of poetry is that you can have your own interpretation... and I see someone aroace in it. But I think I'll put the rest of my poetry analysis behind a cut, cause I feel like I'm really going off on a tangent here, I was just gonna make a short post about my username... XD

Here's the first verse of that poem, in original Finnish followed by my extremely literal, not-even-attempting-to-rhyme translation:

Muut sydämen saivat, ma kantelen, muut murehti, nautti, ma en, ma en, en kurja ma elää, en kuolla voi, kun sykä ei syömeni, soi, vaan soi!

Others got a heart, I, a harp, others sorrowed, enjoyed, but not me, I, poor wretch, cannot live, nor die, as my heart doesn't beat, it only rings!

This makes me so strongly think about that comic about an aroace girl whose heart is blue, not red like everyone else's. (This one.) That feeling that there's something wrong with your heart - with you - when you can't feel what others feel. That feeling of being different, and the loneliness it brings.

Third verse (it's a longish poem, I'm not going to go through it all)

Mun syömeni tuulikannel on, sen kielissä laulu on lakkaamaton, se yössä, päivässä, yksinään soi ilmahan ijäti väräjävään.

My heart is a harp of the wind, in its strings an unending song, in the day, in the night, all alone, it echoes in the shivering air.

From the aroace pov, this is interesting to me. There is a song in the heart, but it sings it alone. Should the heart have a rhythm then, rather than a melody? A rhythm it could share with someone (two hearts beating as one...) But why is rhythm more important than melody? Or is the problem the loneliness of the heart? Perhaps the heart is longing for another one to join the song. Or perhaps it has simply been conditioned to feel that way, by the surrounding society. A lonely heart isn't a good thing, we all know that, right? And if you're alone, you got to be lonely! But surely the song of a single heart can be beautiful, too.

Jumping to the end of the poem, now:

Kiro katkera, julmuus jumalien: Itse orja, ma vapautta veisailen, itse lemmetön, lemmestä laulan ma, itse tunnoton, viritän tunteita!

A bitter curse, the cruelty of gods: I, a slave, hum freedom, I, loveless, sing about love, I, unfeeling, evoke emotions!

This ending. I've always felt it pretty strongly. Sure, I don't write much romance, but it does exist in my stories too. Yet it is something I personally know nothing about, and never will. I would not call this a bitter curse, though, but I do understand that view. Again, I'm think of that girl in the comic... I can understand how this could feel like a curse to some.

I first used tuulikannel for my writing journal on livejournal, and this poem was pretty much the reason why. It felt so perfect, back then. I do connect to it now, too, but I would like to give the poet a hug. ^^ Let your heart sing its songs! I do rather have a kantele as my heart than a drum, anyway. ^^

[jacksprostate]

Regarding your take on neuroscience and mental illness what are your thoughts on placing people on a spectrum when it comes to ASD?

Frankly my opinion on this is once again incredibly unpopular for something on the eternal baby site. I'm not gonna get all the way into it but I'm going to put a little bit under the cut.

I'm not quite sure how to say this tbh, because no matter what I say it will probably be taken badly. And I actually have a lot of nuanced things to say on this topic but I can't write pages for everything. So I think I'm just gonna address one thing, which extends a bit into other things as well.

On tumblr and tiktok and in general, there is a very large contingent of kids and adults who desperately do not want to grow up who are burying themselves in diagnoses as a way to explain their mild (I do not say this to be cruel, but I mean it literally. Are you in normal schooling? Do you have a few friends, or an ingroup (INCLUDING you and all your x diagnosis buddies) Are you relatively independent? If we are talking about severe mental health disorders or neurodevelopment, that's mild. I would describe my own as mild on that scale) problems relative to their peers in a way that is encouraged and considered Valid Suffering and InGroup with their friends and community.

It's natural. You're very lost as a kid, you want to belong, you feel behind, like everything is more of a struggle for you than others. It's unfair you need to put so much more effort in to achieve a lesser result. You shouldn't have to, you feel. And there's a community of people who feel the same, and you're just like them, it nets you friends and an excuse and a right to think of people who want you to change as cruel.

And I am not saying, these kids aren't suffering, or don't have problems. But, for example, I may as well kick this hornet's nest: the sudden rise in children identifying as DID systems using terminology all invented on tumblr and expecting everyone cater to their current roleplay or else be considered ableist, is like, a lot. It's a lot. Social issues and identities have always been a tumblr clout measure and a way to get friends and shit. The systems thing is honestly one of the pinnacles of like, no, I'm not mean for pointing out the obvious. No, even the kids who say it can only be caused by trauma and are doing an rp of having the disorder rather than an outright rp, they also almost absolutely do not have the disorder. For many, many, many reasons which any degree of research into the disorder would illuminate. But that's not the point of it. For the kids who just like the rp aspect, they get to be the free love side of things. The kids that want to feel a sense of social justice will cling to the Actually x side of things. But they're both on sand.

Anyway, I used DID as an example because I really don't feel like ignoring that elephant anymore, if you (generic) think I'm mean for that then that's your problem and you should probably log off and do your math homework etc.

But, to a lesser degree of fakeness (because that's near total haha), this also applies to the online autistic community. And many others. That is not to say autistic people do not exist, or that they cannot be kids, or that they aren't caught up in the same social wave these kids are. In fact I'd bet some are thriving in it. Some though probably feel quite isolated.

Side note, but this does feel like the effect of calling people posers becoming weird anathema. It's not cruel to not believe in other people's things. I don't believe in otherkin either. I am an extremely scientific, grounded person. That said, I'm not gonna lambast any kid over it. At most I won't engage. I know a lot of people feel very hurt over the idea of not every person believing in Their Thing, but not everyone has the same faith or opinions or worldview. It just is how it is.

In the long and short of it, I do think there is a spectrum for ASD, I don't think it extends as far as tumblr advocates, I think there is a natural spectrum for human social development and I also think it's something that can be worked on. Anyway, I'm sure I'll be called an out of touch neurotypical for this because that's the easiest way to dismiss this lol. Very easy to assume those criticising you can't possibly be in x group. Certainly, I don't consider myself autistic. I know plenty of people who do consider me such including some psych personnel (not that I consider that more valuable than some guy walking down the street). I think I represent probably 1.5-2 standard deviations from the usual human experience and I just don't think that cuts it tbh.

[system-of-a-feather]

Gonna share the Feathers Ramble from my Friend Group Chat; @hiiragi7 was just commenting on how a line from this post was a really good line, and so I just kinda rambled expanding on it and I felt it was worth sharing here as well

"no one other person will be able to give you "the pass" to use a label that will absolve you of the responsibility to be able to understand the history and weight of the term"

Now that Im off work like, its just honestly something that I find to be a lot of the issue within a lot of discourse spaces is that people are looking for people to answer what is and is not okay, asking for what the rules that they should follow is / are and who is better or worse, more right or more wrong

When really people should be looking for understanding of the purposes behind those discourse topics and the individual stances and the principles that underlie them more than the "should I or should I not" and "is it good or bad for me to do this"

Cause like there are VERY VERY few topics that have a clear cut "correct vs incorrect" way of doing things

Like even if you get to things that seem obvious like the n-word and who can or can't say that, generalizing those rules do tend to work for the majority of the population, but when you get to the really specific fine grains in the rules and the PRACTICAL application of them in non-online spaces, even things like that can get fuzzy and a lot more complicated than "you are racist if this and not if that"

Because with the n-word, you still have to think about the diversity of the "black" populus and how individuals may or may present / look "not black" to someone doing a cursory glance such as those from afro-latine backgrounds. And then there is also the complexity of navigating and respecting inner city and gang based experiences while ALSO, you know, not promoting harmful and racist language and the practical complications that come with that.

(Disclaimer: I don't know too much of the in depth about this topic to really have a stance on the nuances. It's a topic that has recently been brought up that I sometimes reflect on and think about since there were aspects more complicated than I ever considered that were presented to me. Since I don't know much I defer to "play on the safe side of what people with more insight and direct experience with this topic say" and "I am never going to say it and I don't plan to look the other way in any obvious situation where its inappropriate", but I acknowledge that there is probably a depth to it where it gets complex, and honestly, I'm not comfortable having a strong opinion beyond the general rule of thumb.)

And in the end, the only rule I think you can really say is for really any word, label, language, etc is that you can use whatever word you can reasonably find yourself comfortable with saying bearing in mind the history, weight, and impact that the word, label, etc has on individuals and your role in it (which isn't always inherently "you are making it worse" because you might not be, if you are a transwoman using transfemme that's just being part of the typical group)

In the end of the day, use words you feel are justified in using and accept the consequences - good or bad - of the decisions made; thus its important, in order to keep the consequences neutral or positive, to be able to be comfortable and confident in being able to explain your reasoning for using the term, language, label, etc

You gotta know what your role in using the term / language / label is, and to make sure your role and how you handle the term / language / label is in line with your moral compass on what you feel right in doing and that you are doing your due diligence to minimize any impacts you think would be bad to your own moral compass

It's largely why I think people who genuinely acknowledge, openly discuss, and are forth coming about the term "tulpa" in tulpamancy spaces are more than welcome to use it

There is a debate whether or not it is appropriate for someone in the modern tulpamancy community to use the term "tulpa" and thats always going to be an ambiguous debate; but if you are acknowledging the racist and appropriative roots and are actively doing your part to encourage discussion and acknowledgement of the damages done, then you are honestly doing more to repair the damage and bring awareness to the historical issue in order to better the future and you are likely doing so with more respect than most people offer

Thus its not so much a "these people can say this and these people can't" as much as it is "people who understand the weight and history of the term and align their behavior and impact onto that to do minimal harm (and ideally help) can use it if they feel there is a positive way"

You can't and shouldn't make anyone do or not do things by waving value labels around because in the end those things aren't something objective whether or not we like them and they become less and less objective and clear cut the more specific and nuanced in the situation you get

The only real thing you can ask is for people to really understand the ACTUAL background and depth to the words and things they say and do and let them make their own decisions on how their behavior interacts with their role in the history and impact of it all and if they can, in a right mind, say what they are doing is good / justified

And whatever judgement they make with that calculation is really just something they themselves can make. If people think something that is harmful is "good / justified" then they will inevitably get naturalistic results and consequences that they have to own up to. If people think it isn't, then simply they don't have to do that thing

But ya know, that's just a Feathers Ramble of the day

At the end of the day, we all just want to be able to go to sleep with a clear head and what people decide to say and do and the amount of diligence they want to put into covering their bases is a decision each and every individual must make on their own

[charcubed]

the problem with that man is that he's obsessed with two things: not explaining and not spoiling. so he just answers everything with the most surface level shit cause he has this "think for yourself" attitude. which i would love. if the internet wasn't filled with people averse to thinking and who love not connecting the dots on purpose. like yeah i know that ox are the first earthly pleasure which were followed by others. 95% of the internet doesn't. ON PURPOSE.

[ben-affleck-smoking.jpeg]

Honestly anon, I tip my hat to you because this helps me a little bit. Just a little bit, to fathom what the fuck he's on about and what his potential reasoning is for it. I mean, I'm still frustrated beyond belief by his whole shtick and think it's unnecessary/irresponsible, but I do appreciate you giving me a somewhat plausible explanation so I can have a posited reason for his behavior to wrap my head around.

The thing is, like... People are stupid.

And/or: people are, historically, so determined to project what they want onto a piece of media (while being hellbent on arguing their right to do so while arguing their "interpretations" should remain unencumbered and unexamined) that they're not interested in seeing what it's theoretically or probably actually doing.

So there are 2 ways this shit is gonna go at this point in my opinion (and it's only been a month since season 2 came out so this shit can probably get even more stark before season 3! Yippee!):

Aziraphale and Crowley DON'T fuck on screen. Neil Gaiman is in fact addicted to the praise of very online ace people and so he has internalized that he can't "ruin their rep." Oh, you say you saw subtext in HIS season 2? Surely not. There was/is no erotic or sexual subtext in Ba Sing Se. To be clear, this would be the cowardly homophobic option whether people think it is or not, in part because of the thematic relevance and subtext now attached to them as of season 2 that begs follow-through (which exists despite his pedantic carefully-worded tumblr posts right now), and in part because if we had to see Newt and Anathema fuck then there is no legitimate reason that Aziraphale and Crowley should not get to do the same in light of the subtext. Period. And media doesn't exist in a vacuum. Sorry not sorry.

Aziraphale and Crowley DO fuck on screen. All of the ace people who have read into Neil's several pedantic and carefully-worded posts and engagement for years then become loudly devastated and angry that "their rep" has been destroyed with "no warning." A new term of "acebaiting" probably enters the cultural lexicon. Extremely online carnage occurs, etc. And frankly? At this point I'd (already) be inclined to say Neil would not be entirely blameless for it because of the way he's now acting while needlessly engaging directly with some of the discourse. The majority of the onus would be on the people who assume that he is confirming or defending the unequivocal canonical validity of their ace readings, because he's technically done nothing of the sort. But while he looooves to post and engage in the manners of those technicalities, at this point he can't be oblivious to how legions of inane people end up being like "soooo true Mr. Gaiman, romance doesn't have to be sexual <3" and he just lets them think that constitutes a promise that these characters will never be openly sexual. So if they think that for years, and then the characters fuck (as they should)? Madness will descend, and part of it – not all of it by far, but part of it – will be on him. Because there's no point or purpose in him acting like this other than he gets a kick out of it. He is now openly playing stupid games post-season 2 and will win stupid prizes.

Secret third thing is that Aziraphale and Crowley ambiguously fuck – Schrödinger's fade-to-black potential sex that we just don't see, if you will – in an effort to satisfy all parties, but that is filed under a variation of version 1 in my opinion. It'll still be lowkey homophobic and purity-culture-coded at the end of the day if there's room for ambiguity and people can erase the fact that they fucked if they prefer to do so.

Anyway. The thing is that if he wants people to think for themselves and connect the dots on their own, then pretending as if the dots don't even exist by ignoring them through omission and acting deliberately obtuse with surface level responses does not inspire people to look for or continue to argue for those dots and their depth. But it sure as HELL inspires stupid people to make leaps of logic and say things like "ummm Neil Gaiman already said nothing is sexual about the ox scene soooo if you're arguing otherwise you're being aphobic." Which is exhausting and infuriating and, again, stupid lol.

And that's certainly not entirely Neil's fault! He's NOT responsible for people being stupid. But he is responsible for making things deliberately confusing because he feels clever and maybe wants to challenge everyone else to be clever without openly saying that in so many words – if that is indeed what he's doing.

And if he's not gonna explain anything sufficiently then he shouldn't be engaging with shit like this at all because people then take his deliberate selective lack of explanation as tacit evidence that there must be nothing to explain.

At the end of the day, I'm personally not interested in dissecting the tea leaves of his posts to guess at the fullness of what he truly thinks. I see the subtext and themes in his work, and either he placed them there and sees them too or he didn't/doesn't. If he sees them but doesn't want to talk about them on main for whatever reason then I have no qualms about saying that that's weird behavior. And I also have no qualms about saying that – based on season 2 – Aziraphale and Crowley should fuck in season 3. Ultimately, while his pedantic posts and the resulting discourse raise my blood pressure, I don't need his permission to know the truth of that.