#and i'm currently having some serious health issues

[holocene-sims]

it's august 11th 🌟 happy canonical birthday to grant!! 🎂🎈💖

[rrivlet]

let me tell you where therapy and psychiatry has gotten me real quick, as a person with schizophrenia that includes delusions, psychosis, and an inability to cooperate sometimes:

AT LEAST 6 ward stays (2 in childhood) which separated me from my actual support network and put me on prescription drugs that I didn't really want, many of which made things actively worse.

MONTHS of residential treatment as a teenager against my will, where I suffered heavy abuse, bullying, gaslighting about what I was experiencing, and other assorted sorts of miseries.

ACTIVE HARM from many of my medications due to side effects, improper administration, bad instructions, pharmacy shortages leading to withdrawals, misdiagnosis, and stigma around said meds.

FEAR OF COMMUNICATION about serious mental issues, even with loved ones that I know will not harm me or send me to a ward to be abused and/or neglected again.

TRAUMA from everything mentioned above, and much, much more.

Listen, I know that psychiatry and therapy is necessary for some people, and it was for me too, at one point in time. I've had far too many bad experiences by now, and far too many frustrations with how I and others were/are treated.

If someone tells you they don't want to do therapy, drugs, or hospital visits about their problems, LISTEN TO THEM!!!!!!!!!

The brain damage and loss of cognitive function I experienced from this (and continue to experience while I try to get off these blasted medications) has made my life hell, and now I'm dependent on stimulants just to function. At all.

All of this because people are so scared of weird people who "act up" (read: experience an episode or crisis) in public. Treatments have been forced on me since I was 10 or so, and all of them turned me into a zombie that was barely capable of thinking, let alone living.

The meds help some people, yes, but they're often a bandaid fix to the issue that is exacerbating environmental factors. Therapy helps some people, yes, but for a lot of folks like me, it just leads to hospital stays that don't help, medication that doesn't help, and trauma that makes things worse.

The current current treatments of acute mental health issues are, buy and large, systemically oppressive to disabled people like me who don't have a hope for "independence."

Again, some treatments work for some people without causing them harm, but the point of me saying ANY of this is that if someone doesn't want to engage with the system, THERE'S PROBABLY A REALLY GOOD REASON FOR THAT!

[maopll]

Hello I'm not sure if my request is allowed since i did not see it on the rules so pls ignore it it is not allowed.

May I request Leona, Jamil, Rook and Malleus with a S/O who is suffering from depression? Another thing is they have caught the reader trying to unalive themselves, and harming themselves, their mental health is also getting worse. I'd like to see the boy's reaction and how they'd comfort their S/O(since it it similar to my current situation).

I understand if you're not comfortable with this request or do not want to do it. I also apologize of it is against the rules. I'd also like to say that I enjoy reading your works a lot. Please take care of yourself. Thank you and enjoy your day!<3

Let me heal your scars

| twisted wonderland !

⌗:, scars on the outside heal after a time. but...are there any methods or medications that can heal the scars inflicted on the inside?....

⌗:, a/n: anon I am comfortable with this request as I myself have gone through similar situations but you need to push through ! I hope you find solace in whatever keeps you happy and please don't do anything that might unalive you ! I love you <3 I have added things I kind of felt when situation like those happened

⌗:, warning: mentions of reader unaliving themselves,, trauma,, mental health issues,, read at your own risk ! angst !

⌗:, pairings: leona, jamil, malleus, rook w/ gn!reader

,,your depression has gotten worse. you still have freakish nightmares and you slowly start to wonder "do I really have any worth?" "maybe I am useless" "it is my fault that I always fail". these thoughts keep plaguing you mind it's as if someone is telling you to just k!ll yourself. maybe you should just?....

LEONA refuses to let anything get to his weakness and he would absolutely hate it when someone or something is the reason his cherished herbivore is going through hard times and having negative thoughts. He believed that when you are with him no dark thoughts would engulf your mind but...not everything can be kept at bay...

whenever you would visit savannahclaw you would most wear short sleeves or if you ever wore a long sleeve it would be mostly during winter but short sleeves were your favourite. However he noticed a sudden change in your clothing pattern with you wearing long sleeves more than often and turtlenecks . He may be laidback but he too once aimed for the throne of a king...

He knew you would never tell him so when you were sleeing in his arms he looked under your sleeves and for the first time he was frightened and covered in cold sweat.

" [name]...why do you have those cuts on your hands and on your neck ?" for the first time, your leona was dead serious with anything and his voice was a decible lower than usual. you knew that you would have to provide an atleast believeable excuse to make him believe. but no matter how much you tried to answer you felt as if you were being engulfed by the floor and damn gravity never felt this heavy.

you burst into tears. the thoughts, the pressure of life, the decisions, everything fell on you like a thousand bricks. he sucked at comforting but he knew hugs were your favourite. he told you to cry as much as you wanted to. he patted your back and offered to listen to everything you've been going through those days.

he may not be able to relate with you but atleast he can lessen the pain you've felt.

JAMIL himself had to undergo some strict training in his childhood but he had to admit that whatever happened with you nothing of the sort happened to him. so he couldn't share the nor understand your feelings but just know...that he will do whatever it takes to help you

you would visit his dorms and sometimes dance with him under the moonlight with passion because it was something you wanted to do, something that would be very intimate but recently he saw less passion in you and frequent absences of your presence on many days. he thought you were busy but there's no way that you would be absent for two weeks right?...

he was on his way to Ramshackle dorm to see what you were doing, and if there were any homework, he might help you with those, but he definitely didn't expect your silhouette standing on the highest balcony railing ready to jump. he was frozen with fear. 'there's no way that YOU would do this..'

as soon as he saw your feet leave the railing, he sprinted to the spot where you might fall, and thank goodness he caught you just before you hit the ground. you have some explaining to do cause he was taken aback, he couldn't grasp what was happening and he was definitely sweating HARD.

" WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING JUMPING OFF THAT RAILING ?! DO YOU WANT TO REALLY KI–" you cut him off by shouting "WHY DID YOU CATCH ME I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE LET ME GO" and that was your last straw as tears flowed out of your eyes like a waterfall and you were sure you were crying like a baby at this point.

Jamil can read the room very well so he sighed and said that you can tell him everything later on and he is sure that it is definitely trauma inducing otherwise you wouldn't have tried to jump off

he know how heartbreaking it would be to see you cry but he wants to let you let go of all the pains and sorrows you have experienced these days.

MALLEUS here has no idea. this man child is learning human emotions because he pretty much grew sheltered so he learns them by looking at you. Things that invoke happy emotions, romantic emotions, sometimes sad emotions but what is this emotion that you're feeling right now?

I feel that he is able to sense emotions that his lover feels. dragon instincts I guess. but while most emotions you feel smelled sweet, strong or sometimes like petrichor..this one smelled like poison ivy. why?

he may be learning but he doubts that those scents were anything but normal. while he did want to ask you about it you would just change the subject. he knew you were hiding something. his instincts are on another level when it comes to you

he sensed that you might be in danger so it's best if he investigated it by himself and not long after did he find blood stained knifes and ropes. he was horrified. to think that the one whom he cherishes so much would be trying to part away from him for eternity, to take away their own life. he can't have you do that. not when he already made up his mind to keep you by himself while he rules.

you made sure to check all your surroundings to see if everything was in place but you failed to notice that one knife was missing which malleus brought out in front of you when you didn't notice him. "[name]...why were you doing this to yourself?..." he was sad and heartbroken. his voice sounded like he was on the verge of crying and so were you. he was the last person you wanted to find out about your...intentions of killing you life...

no matter how much you tried to tell him something your mouth would only open just to close the next moment because you just cannot bring yourself to tell him. you dropped down on the floor telling him that "I just can't do it...I can't deal shit with life...everything around me feels like they are judging me..feel like they will engulf me and no matter what I do I'll just be useless all over again.." he couldn't reciprocate your feelings but he can surely make you feel better. such a person as yourself who stays bright and cheery should not be crying on the floor nor should they feel sorrows. he hugged you close to his chest while he told you that he would listen to everything you want to tell him.

if he can't shield you from sadness and mishaps then how can he call himself a worthy ruler who would protect the people..his people? so he would do anything in his power to make sure you never shed those tears again.

ROOK here knew exactly the moment when you seemed more gloomy and down than usual. you would talk less, eat less, and those eyebags were so prominent that they could be noticed from metres away.

Something is not right...he thought to himself. how could his always cheerful and perfect other half be so under the weather these days. looks like he needs to know about the origin of your sorrows. He is a stubborn one so he is going to and he WILL find out whatever or whoever has cause you pain. He knows for a reason that it's gotta be something from the past looking at how you don't want to tell him and looks like he was right....

he is slowly unfolding your bedsheets, opened your drawers, and investigated your kitchen knife. bigger sorrows usually lead to rash decisions and looks like he was right. he is a master archer and hunter. the smell of blood being too familiar to him to be able to trace the scent in the knife being yours.

he knew that it may be a possibility, but the fact being true makes him feel...crestfallen. how? why? when? all these thoughts raced his mind. he knew your reason for doing these would be even worse and heartbreaking. but he had to confront you and comfort you. so that's when you seeked you out in the middle of the night when you were almost going to drift off to slumber.

"[name]...were you trying to hurt yourself?" your eyes grew wide like saucers. you've never seen rook look so dejected and serious. you told him yes and showed him all the scars that wrapped your body. you felt tears threatening to spill from your eyes and..oh? why do your cheeks feel wet?...

his usual signature smile was now a ghost of itself and he had a frown. he hugged you as tight as possible and let you freely cry all over on his chest. he shushed you softly and told you to tell him everything you went through and let go of those past emotions.

with him here he swears to never let anyone or he himself be the reason of your tears. he can't afford to see his amoureuse stain her beautiful face.

a/n: sometimes you just need to let go of all those who belittled you or trampled over your pitiful self. you should now grow a stronger version of yourself and start your life anew <3

[nu-carniviva]

I really wanted a more lighthearted return to this blog but... I really need to talk about this new event

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE CURRENT EVENT AND TRIGGER WARNING FOR AB//SE AND R//PE

LONG POST AHEAD

Wow. I just. Wow. They really went all out with serious subject matter for this event. Um, I guess I'll talk about this is order of the characters' memories that were presented

Edit: made some minor mistakes but I'll fix that later

Blade: Blade was a lot from the get-go. I never really enjoy seeing him as his assassin bot self but this was a whole new level of depressing. Blade's memories make it clear that Saia is not a pleasant place. The technology is advanced, but the people are primitive. I believe Blade's story so far isn't exactly about when he was made, but when he became alive.

Blade was designed to behave more human-like in order to infiltrate Klein and assassinate Huey so the continent would crumble. While he was originally just supposed to pass as human enough to mask himself as a trustworthy being, the scientists failed to remember just how complicated human emotions are, and that Blade would be in a continent surrounded by humans away from other automatons/e-droids.

To be a human is to be complex. We are not simple minded creatures with strictly black-and-white thinking. Blade has learned this right away now that observing and mimicking humans is in his programming. His biggest sign of showing his evolution into becoming more human is when he saves the other automaton from dying out on the battlefield. He's seen other humans care for each other and nurse each other back to health when wounded, so he assumed the same would happen for his own kind. Yet, when he brought the automaton to the scientists, they killed him right in front of Blade with no hesitation or remorse. Blade seems to get a moment of realization in that moment. The realization that his kind were made solely to serve and please humans. They truly do not care for him or the other automatons. The humans, or the Saians in particular, see them as disposable things rather than sentient beings.

While in Klein, it's noted that Huey played a massive role in changing Blade to who he is now, but I'm sure he was already starting to rebel against his programming because he had more opportunity to experience a kind version of humanity. The humans in Klein, overall, treat each other kindly and respectfully. Blade has never seen such treatment before, and since that behavior is a part of human nature, he has to observe and mimic it as part of his programming.

Rei: Rei... Experienced a lot. From the very start, Rei shows that he has no issue seducing men to gather information from them. His life is dedicated to research, and he's willing to do anything to gather as much information as he can.

Yet, he clearly wasn't the same type of dedicated researcher he is now. That is shown by the end when he enters his home. His home is a mess, and Rei is surprised to see it in that state, meaning he wasn't always messy. He used to be organized and lived in more of a home than a laboratory that he happens to sleep in. Research was his motivation in life, but it wasn't his life.

While nothing is explicitly stated, it's very very clear that Rei was raped by the man he was talking to at the bar and broke into his house. As he lies there, powerless and corrupted, he snaps. In order to cope, his mind blanks about the events that just happened, and he forces himself to think about his research, hence why he mentions that Saians really do have essence.

Since then, Rei has spiraled into his research. His research became his life. It became his only reason to live. His only reason to keep going. He views life as an experiment to research on. He views his body as destroyed, and now its only purpose is to be a test subject in his research. His house is a mess now too. Papers and products for experiments are scattered throughout the place, and he's protective over each of them. In Rei's mind, his research is all he has control over. It's the only part of him he can protect and see value in. He has no self worth anymore, and I hope we can see that self worth come back as the game progresses.

Kuya: First of all, it's insane how Rei's part ended by dropping a bombshell and then Kuya's immediately opens with dropping a bombshell. This is the absolute closest we have ever seen to Huey's identity. He's masked so we can't see his face, but it appears that his body is very similar to Eiden's. So that alone makes sense why the remaining OG clan members have said he looks like Huey as well as having the same essence.

It's clear from the start that Kuya was Huey's right hand man. He seems to have gone on the most adventures with Huey, and it's most likely from the power that he holds. Under Huey's influence, Kuya was a lot more cynical and apathetic, so it's likely that he viewed Kuya as someone to help him get his way. Kuya also shows to have had a deep loyalty to Huey — a type of loyalty he hasn't shown anyone else. Whatever Huey wanted, Kuya made sure it happened.

The scene at the bar was insane too, and it further proves my claims of Kuya being more apathetic and cruel when Huey was around. While life has always seemed to be a game to him, he played the game with little regard to other lives. The men in the bar were ogling him, and while that certainly is gross and Kuya had every right to be disgusted, he punished them in such an extreme way that we haven't seen him do before. The current Kuya prefers to torment others with mind games and illusions, while this past Kuya preferred to be more physical and violent.

It's also important to note how much Kuya has mellowed out since meeting Eiden. Don't get me wrong, Kuya is still a total sadist, but he has shown to be mindful of the lives of others. He doesn't kill or maim on a whim. Instead, like stated earlier, he's developed a preference for mind games and teasing. His mind games now serve as lessons to those around him too. He pushes others to their limits, but he does it so they can come back stronger. Ever since meeting Eiden, he's found a family. He's found people worth keeping around. It's similar to Blade, in a sense. After being around people who treat him with kindness and respect, he started to change.

This event has been a roller coaster so far and it literally just started. The devs seem to be handling these heavy topics with care as of now and I hope it remains that way.

I think overall the theme of this event is a commentary on humanity, especially in our current day. Saia is technologically advanced, yet the people are heartless and have lost compassion for one another. They're so focused on advancing their technology and destroying people or places lesser than them that they've forgotten their part of human nature to love. If you were to look at any news source right now, you would see very similar themes. Technology is constantly advancing and pushing forward, yet people are going backwards and losing their kindness.

Then again, I suppose humans have always been cruel. History is stained with the blood of others both human and animal. Humans have shown time and time again that they can be just as heartless and violent as more simple minded animals, so it's possible this event is a commentary on humanity as a whole rather than just current humanity.

It's crazy, really, how this game started as something lighthearted and fun and is now full of angst and disturbing topics. That being said, there's still plenty of wholesome and sweet moments. I suppose that's just like real life, huh?

[ms-demeanor]

hi! i’ve been following you for a bit and seen you post abt taking nutrition courses, and i was wondering if you could talk about how you found/vetted your program? i have a community-oriented foodservice job and i’m interested in learning more about nutrition, but i know there’s a lot of dubious stuff/outright pseudoscience in the field so i’m wary of just signing up for the nearest/cheapest class.

So if you're looking at doing nutrition in a serious academic in the US way you need to take courses in an ACEND accredited program; there is an industry compliance standard that is required for RDs/RDNs so I started from there and worked backwards. I looked at state schools in my area that had programs on that list, then looked at community colleges in my area. California has pretty strict rules about accredited community colleges and state colleges in terms of what is transferable and transfer-ability is one of the better markers of a program that is not hot garbage. The school that I'm currently at has a program that complies with the Cal State requirements for an AS-T (Associates of Science Transfer) degree for Nutrition. There's another nearby school that has a more comprehensive program that offers both an AS-T and further lower-division nutrition classes.

If you're not thinking about becoming an RD/RDN (which at this point requires an MS in nutrition, a 10-month internship, and board certification) but want to learn more, I'd still say that working backwards works and you will likely be well served by seeing which schools in your area have an accredited program, which community colleges - if any - they accept transfers from, and signing up for basic classes.

If you're interested in doing an online class, it looks like there's a free class (the audit option is free) on basic nutrition offered through EdX from UC Riverside - this course outline looks very similar to basic nutrition classes I've taken.

The thing is that in some ways nutrition is pretty simple; there are essential nutrients, we need to make sure to get enough of them, a lot of people don't get enough of them, and most people's nutrition can be improved by eating a varied diet that includes many fruits and vegetables with sugar and some kinds of fats in moderation (but everyone needs protein, carbohydrates, and fats as part of their diet).

In other ways nutrition is tremendously complicated, highly specific to individuals, and people look at it as a silver bullet to solve all problems. And the really frustrating thing is that if you've got certain kinds of issues (celiac disease being one example that I'm intimately familiar with) then proper nutrition IS actually a silver bullet. But it's not a silver bullet for, say, heart disease or diabetes (both of which *interact* with the foods a person consumes, but are likely not purely caused by food consumption and may not be significantly mediated by nutritional care alone).

And that makes it a field ripe for charlatans!

But if you're doing community-oriented food service specifically i think that you're probably going to do well looking into programs for nutrition for public health and looking at accredited local schools. If you can't do that, check on what's available from schools that are ACEND accredited but have online classes through stuff like EdX - the UC Riverside program falls into that category, and there were classes from Arizona State University - which has a really widely known, accredited, and popular nutrition program - in that same category.

But. Yeah. I'm sorry. The field is kind of a nightmare and huge chunks of it are very misleading and even if you're looking at well vetted stuff there's going to be some garbage and it's going to depend a lot on the age of the program and how long people have been teaching in that program. It's a mess! It's a fascinating mess but it's a mess nonetheless!

[evidence-based-activism]

Hi! I'm rather sceptical of this article which claims that more porn = less rape and lists several studies (at the bottom of the page) as the author doesn't really bother to explain them properly, so I was hoping you could.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/all-about-sex/201601/evidence-mounts-more-porn-less-sexual-assault

@nznnm I re-sent your submission as an ask, due to formatting issues!

You were correct to be skeptical! Porn does not result in less rape.

The linked article cites seven sources [1-7].

Five of the seven studies [2-6] were all conducted prior to 2000, so, even if they did support the supposition that pornography leads to less rape (and they don't), they would not be representative of the effects of modern, mainstream, free, internet pornography.

These studies by Diamond [1, 2, 3] and Kutchinsky [5, 6] all rely on the same methodological paradigm: aggregate-level national analysis. They essentially examine how changes in pornography use rates (e.g., as a result of a legal change) is related to reported rape rates for a nation (i.e., in aggregate) over a period of time. There are several issues with this type of analysis, highlighted by this article [8]. For example, they indicate "one of the more serious problems with aggregate data used in pornography research results from the inappropriate transfer of aggregate results toward individualistic explanations", but I also want to highlight the issue with relying on reported sex crimes (e.g., did the rate of rape really decrease/not change or did misogynistic beliefs become more prevalent - as a cause or effect of the aforementioned legal change - resulting in a lower reporting rate). The mentioned paper [8] explicitly addresses studies [1, 3, 5, 6] and study [2] is just review of those four. In addition, YourBrainOnPorn has an article addressing this same point, which may be more accessible for laymen [9]. In short, this methodology cannot reliably determine a relationship between rape and pornography.

Goldstein's 1971 study [4] was a retrospective study examining pornography use between "deviants" (a group that included homosexual men) and non-"deviants", concluding non-"deviants" used more pornography. However, this was a single, small study conducted prior to the internet. More importantly, the retrospective design presents significant possible problems, particularly for "sensitive" topics [10]. For example, did the pedophiles really never see pornography, or are they less likely to remember or report having seen it? Many more recent studies have disputed this result; I mention some of them in this post and this post and there are many more in a link below.

The final source [7] doesn't address rape rates at all; it concerns "closeness with others". I'm a lot less concerned with pornography use’s effects on male users, and more a lot more concerned with its effects on the female performers and women in society. That being said, YourBrainOnPorn has collected a resource pages with studies linking porn use to "sexual dysfunctions and poorer sexual and relationship satisfaction" (currently with more than 130 studies) [11] and "poorer mental-emotional health & poorer cognitive outcomes" (currently with more than 100 studies) [12].

In addition to all of this, YourBrainOnPorn has collected a resource page "linking porn use to sexual offending, sexual aggression, and sexual coercion" (currently with more than 110 studies) [13].

I want to highlight the following:

This review [14] found "reliable associations between frequent pornography use and sexually aggressive behaviors, particularly for violent pornography and/or for men at high risk for sexual aggression"

This meta-analysis [15] on 46 studies with over 12,000 people found (pre-internet) found moderate to strong effect sizes of pornography on aggression, violent behavior, and misogynistic beliefs.

This 2010 meta-analysis [16] found an "overall significant positive association between pornography use and attitudes supporting violence against women in nonexperimental studies". This was done to accompany their meta-analysis on experimental (laboratory) studies [17] that showed "consumption of material depicting nonviolent sexual activity increases aggressive behavior, and that media depictions of violent sexual activity generates more aggression than those of nonviolent sexual activity".

This 2015 meta-analysis [18] examined "2 studies from 7 different countries" of more than 20,000 people and found pornography use was "associated with sexual aggression in the United States and internationally, among males and females, and in cross-sectional and longitudinal studies".

This 2017 review [19] found pornography is associated with more adolescent dating and sexual violence perpetration and victimization.

All in all, the linked article cherry picked (i.e., they picked the few studies that supported their view while ignoring the many more than did not) studies using an unreliable and controversial methodology.

Given the highly politicized and contentions nature of this topic, we are never going to have a consensus in research; instead we need to rely on a "preponderance of evidence" approach, noting that pornography use is linked to sexual aggression in the majority (and in more high quality) studies.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you have any follow-up questions!

References under the cut:

Diamond, M. et al. “Pornography and Sex Crimes in the Czech Republic,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2011) 40:1037

Diamond, M. “The Effects of Pornography: An International Perspective,” in Pornography 101: Eroticism, Sexuality, and the First Amendment, edited by J. Elias et al. Prometheus Press, Amherst, NY, 1999.

Diamond, M. and A. Uchiyama. “Pornography, Rape, and Sex Crimes in Japan,” International Journal of Law and Psychiatry (1999) 22:1.

Goldstein, M. et al. “Experience with Pornography: Rapists, Pedophiles, Homosexuals, Transsexuals, and Controls,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (1971) 1:1.

Kutchinsky, B. Pornography and Rape: Theory and Practice? Evidence from crime Data in Four Countries, Where Pornography is Easily Available,” International Journal of Law and Psychiatry (1991) 14:47.

Kutchinsky, B. “The Effect of Easy Availability of Pornography on the Incidence of Sex Crimes: The Danish Experience,” Journal of Social Issues (1973) 29:163.

Poipovic, M. “Pornography Use and Closeness with Others in Men,” Archives of Sexual Behavior (2011) 40:449

Kingston, Drew A., and Neil M. Malamuth. "Problems with aggregate data and the importance of individual differences in the study of pornography and sexual aggression: Comment on Diamond, Jozifkova, and Weiss (2010)." Archives of sexual behavior 40 (2011): 1045-1048.

“Debunking the Realyourbrainonporn (Scienceofarousal.Com) ‘Sex Offender Section’: The Actual State of the Research on Porn Use and Sexual Aggression, Coercion & Violence.” Your Brain On Porn, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/critiques-of-questionable-debunking-propaganda-pieces/debunking-realyourbrainonporn-pornographyresearch-com-sex-offender-section/.

Tofthagen C. Threats to validity in retrospective studies. J Adv Pract Oncol. 2012 May;3(3):181-3. PMID: 25031944; PMCID: PMC4093311.

“Studies Linking Porn Use or Porn/Sex Addiction to Sexual Dysfunctions and Poorer Sexual and Relationship Satisfaction.” Your Brain On Porn, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/porn-use-sex-addiction-studies/studies-linking-porn-use-or-porn-sex-addiction-to-sexual-dysfunctions-and-poorer-sexual-and-relationship-satisfaction/.

“Studies Linking Porn Use to Poorer Mental-Emotional Health & Poorer Cognitive Outcomes.” Your Brain On Porn, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/porn-use-sex-addiction-studies/studies-linking-porn-use-to-poorer-mental-emotional-health-poorer-cognitive-outcomes/.

“Studies Linking Porn Use to Sexual Offending, Sexual Aggression, and Sexual Coercion.” Your Brain On Porn, https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/critiques-of-questionable-debunking-propaganda-pieces/studies-linking-porn-use-to-sexual-offending-sexual-aggression-and-sexual-coercion/.

Malamuth NM, Addison T, Koss M. Pornography and sexual aggression: are there reliable effects and can we understand them? Annu Rev Sex Res. 2000;11:26-91. PMID: 11351835.

Oddone-Paolucci, Elizabeth, Mark Genuis, and Claudio Violato. "A meta-analysis of the published research on the effects of pornography." The changing family and child development. Routledge, 2017. 48-59.

Hald GM, Malamuth NM, Yuen C. Pornography and attitudes supporting violence against women: revisiting the relationship in nonexperimental studies. Aggress Behav. 2010 Jan-Feb;36(1):14-20. doi: 10.1002/ab.20328. PMID: 19862768.

Allen, Mike, D. A. V. E. D'alessio, and Keri Brezgel. "A meta‐analysis summarizing the effects of pornography II aggression after exposure." Human communication research 22.2 (1995): 258-283.

Wright, Paul J., Robert S. Tokunaga, and Ashley Kraus. "A meta-analysis of pornography consumption and actual acts of sexual aggression in general population studies." Journal of Communication 66.1 (2016): 183-205.

Rodenhizer KAE, Edwards KM. The Impacts of Sexual Media Exposure on Adolescent and Emerging Adults' Dating and Sexual Violence Attitudes and Behaviors: A Critical Review of the Literature. Trauma Violence Abuse. 2019 Oct;20(4):439-452. doi: 10.1177/1524838017717745. Epub 2017 Jul 13. PMID: 29333966.

[deckofcookiez]

The Alex Kister Situation

Alright; I've been more of a lurker on here for awhile, but for months now--almost a year--I've been a massive fan of the Mandela Catalogue, and this fandom has been a major form of escapism and safety for me. So, I feel the need to say something about the current situation.

To start, I'm putting a link to the document with all of the information about what happened, as it's important to read it and learn about this whole situation in depth:

With that out of the way, I just wanted to share my own personal opinion; personally, Mandela Catalogue has legitimately become my special interest. I have pretty much obsessed over it ever since I first found it, and everything I've written or drawn since then has been to do with it. It's been very important to me, especially due to the community here on tumblr, as this fandom is probably the most supportive and open places on the internet I've found. I feel a lot more connected because of it, and it made me feel comfortable and safe.

I was in a bad mental space today, and when I found out about this, I had a pretty bad breakdown--some might call it an overreaction, but you don't know just how dependent my mental health had become on this series and fandom. (I will be working on avoiding this habit in the future, as it isn't healthy to depend so heavily on one interest)

After reading through the document, and just seeing so many opinions and contributions from others, I am almost certain that these allegations are true. But I always, always listen to all perspectives before making judgement, so I will not be going full "I hate Alex, he's a despicable person!!" before Alex gives his own point of view.

That being said, I do believe Alex has serious issues that he needs to get handled. I am hesitant to call this pedophilia, as from what I've gathered, he didn't seem to have active malicious intent towards minors(correct me if I missed something that said otherwise)--rather, I get the impression that Alex simply doesn't understand boundaries, and genuinely saw his fans as mutuals. He seems to be a person who's manipulative--whether intentionally or not--and his personal relationships, platonic, romantic, or sexual, turn very toxic because of this. So, trying to have personal relationships with fans, people who look up to him and see him in a very different light, results in inevitable toxicity as well.

I get the sense that Alex simply is a young person, struggling with mental health and gender dysphoria, who was thrust into extreme popularity very suddenly, and doesn't have the maturity level to handle it properly. Overall, I do not support him, if he continues to act like this--if he makes genuine, real efforts to deal with his mental health and his unhealthy behaviours, I would respect him for that. I wouldn't look at him quite the same, but as long as someone makes genuine efforts to better themself after doing something wrong, I appreciate and respect that, and may eventually give forgiveness. But, if he doesn't make those efforts, if he continues his patterns and refuses to try and get better, then that is on him and at that point I have lost any and all respect for him. At that point, you are not a good or reasonable person, in my eyes.

Regardless of how things go with Alex himself, though, I want to say...

You do not have to support a creator to enjoy their work!!

I am a huge fan of Danny Phantom, and that show's creator is a genuine piece of shit. Like, a truly despicable human being. That fandom successfully has, just... completely ripped the show and characters from their creator. They have cut him out entirely, nothing he says holds any impact or meaning to them and it hasn't for years. He's seriously fallen off. And it's still a fun, active fandom! The people in there are super neat!!

And, hell, look at the whole mess with J. K. Rowling!! She is an absolutely disgusting person. But so many people grew up with Harry Potter, and still like her stories, without actively supporting her--lots of creators turn out to be really awful people, but that doesn't mean that what they made is automatically awful as well. They still have some kind of creative ability, that happened to produce something that garnered a significant amount of attention.

We don't need Alex to still enjoy the concept, characters, and overall story he's created. We can still make fanworks, still appreciate what it is that drew us to the series in the first place.

Honestly, out of everything that the fallout of this would bring, I was most terrified of the fandom itself dying, as that is what truly matters the most to me. This place, these people are so important to me, and I am so scared of this community falling apart. I've already seen plenty of people stating that they will no longer be associating with TMC, and are just completely distancing themselves from it. It feels like things are already dying and disappearing and it really, really fucking hurts.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that... if that is your choice, if you truly do not want to associate with TMC anymore whatsoever, then I don't blame you for it. I understand if you can't look at the series the same way after this, and I respect that choice.

But you don't have to, if it still means anything to you. Fandoms are more than just their creators--they're the community that has been built around the work, and this community is possibly the best one I've ever been in. I don't want to see it die. So, just know, that you can still love this fandom, this story, these characters, without supporting Alex. You can still draw the characters, make OCs, write fanfiction, etc. He won't get money from that--only from directly watching his content or buying his merch.

Finally, I'd like to say to go support the victims. They didn't deserve this--no matter what Alex's intentions were. Please support them, and regardless of how this turns out, do not continue actively supporting Alex Kister. I am sure that, whatever his intentions were, he did still harm people and that is not okay.

Also, this is all just my own opinion, based on what I know; I was not in the discord, I don't have Twitter, I don't personally know anyone involved and I have not seen everything regarding the situation as a whole. I simply felt I should state my current opinion, as I'm seeing a lot of people freaking out and spiraling and just leaving the fandom entirely. I wanted to remind people that it's okay to still enjoy this fandom and be a part of it, without Alex. My opinion may change some with new information I find, but overall, I am of the opinion that Alex should not be supported, while the Mandela Catalogue itself can be separated from him and still be enjoyed and appreciated.

And, whatever happens... Adam Murray, Jonah Marshall and Thatcher Davis are officially honorary characters in my stash of little guys. If he's not fit to keep them then they will become my creative outlet instead (and others who love them, obviously). They're very special characters to me, I can't express just how many things I have written and drawn to do with them, and I refuse to give them up.

(another addition, regarding the apparent 'alter egos' Alex apparently had: Possibly consider DID? I know a lot of people with DID will often mistake it for other things, including simply being gender non-conforming, when in actuality they really have alters that just identify differently. Not diagnosing, I don't know enough about him to make any real claims--it was just a thought.)

[deusvervewrites]

Thoughts and opinions on the current state of the MHA manga?

That's hard to say given the cliffhanger elements of the most recent chapter.

Now that the Final War Arc is over I can give my thoughts on that. It's interesting that each member of the League vanishes after their defeat. We haven't seen Spinner, Toga, and we only got a glimpse of Dabi this chapter. That feels like it's building to something.

I liked Toga and Dabi both collapsing at the end of a confrontation where their counterpart(s) reached out to them, but Toga sacrificed herself for someone else for the first time in her life while Dabi had to have his ass kicked like eight times before he stayed down, and his fight ends with him finally getting his father to listen to him.

I think "Decay used to be Overhaul" is a bit overly complicated when it could have easily been its own Quirk that AFO gave him. As it stands it raises some questions, like, "Can Overhaul do this shit?" Or, "Since it was confirmed that Overhaul's orphanage was run by AFO, why didn't AFO use Overhual himself ever?" Okay we know that last one is because AFO sucks and hates learning Quirks, but you know what I mean.

I liked how the Final War brought out the best in people who had been shown in not-great light before, like Death Arms and The President of the United States.

Midnight's death has only gotten worse. It was fridging before and it's fridging now, but now it has the added bonus of pretending that it was going somewhere and then not going there. That scene with Ashido and Midnight's killer really added a whole lot when... we cut back to it and nothing happened and the killer was gone and didn't matter. Her death did not matter and has continued to not matter and I don't understand why she was killed in the first place.

All For One's final defeat is oddly similar to the end of Demon Slayer, complete with him having a baby form that fades away to nothing and then making a last stand in a stolen body that rejects him.

I don't like that Midoriya is losing One For All. Congratulations on your lifelong health issues in your arms, you have literally nothing to show for it. Everything you learned in your first year no longer fucking matters because you need an entirely different fighting style. Who knows, I might come around on this depending on how things play out.

(Bakugou losing his Quirk is something I've alluded to before as something I think would be cool. I'm less impressed by him hearing that Midoriya is losing his Quirk and breaking down in tears because now they won't be "competing" as if Midoriya could only compete with a Quirk. I'm sure it's not the intended reading but Bakugou's character development backslides so often for 'comedy' that I've lost faith in it during serious moments.)

I know some people don't like Midoriya reaching a hand out to save Shigaraki when he's killed so many people, but, like, that's kind of the whole theme of the work and I'm never going to advocate for any media which promotes killing the enemy as the best solution to the problem, especially because Shigaraki not only has a point, but he's like 20 years old and spent all 20 of those years being groomed and manipulated. I'm glad Midoriya reached his hand out. And, yes, while I dislike the loss of OFA, giving it away piece by piece to end AFO forever was symbolically cool.

The MLA War Arc still fucking sucked.

[eco-friendly-ecology]

Animal rights vs animal welfare , aka why I struggle to identify as vegan

Not every animal rights issue puts the welfare of the animals first, which is seen most often in groups such as peta.

In animal welfare cases there is such a large difference between different types of animals and peoples opinions on how they should be treated, it makes me wish there were universal rules that could be applied to all animals and people could get in serious trouble for it (its not illegal to keep a dog locked indoors without walking it but that doesn't mean it's good for the dog)

Personally and in my own experience, zoos and aquariums that have high welfare standards do help people to connect with and understand wild species better and it gives people more incentive to help that animal if they are endangered and aren't typically cute, I've seen it and experienced it with vultures, no one really cares about the conservation of vultures until they see them in person.

I fully believe that it's possible to ride horses with the horses permission and for the horse to enjoy it, as long as it is done correctly. Every horse breed we have today is a domesticated or comes from the domesticated species, there is only one true wild horse species left in the world - the przewalski's horse, with only one record of a person being able to ride one. Your shetlands/clydesdales/warmbloods/icelandics were bred to be domestic, they bred to carry people and pull carts. Is there a significant amount of abuse in the equine industry ? Yes. Is the current equestrian standard putting the horses needs first ? No. Is the "normal" / industry standard way of backing a horse beneficial for them ? Nope. But that doesn't mean none of it is, yes riding two year old horses can cause significant health problems but not everyone starts their horses at that age, it's becoming more common for individuals to start training their horse for ridden work at 4 years old because they are more developed physically and mentally. They can learn more complex things and develop more confidence. Yes, some people try to speed up the training process with abusive and harsh methods, but not everyone does.

Not every human-animal interaction is good or bad, it depends heavily on the circumstances of the situation and how the interaction is handled

Everyone is capable of harming animals when they aren't informed of their care/behavioural cues. I see far too many "animal sanctuaries" interacting and caring for animals in neglectful/dangerous/sometimes abusive methods because they haven't researched the animal they're trying to look after

I dont believe it's possible for all pets to be fed a plant based diet, and I don't believe that all exotic pets are inherently bad. Like I said before research is needed so you can look after them properly and obtain them through responsible methods.

Some culls are necessary to sustain the current ecosystem in place in certain areas, because humans messed up and removed natural predators or let invasive species take over (yes I'm talking about deer and grey squirrels, yes I will die on this hill, no you can't change my mind on this one)

[oddbunny]

Found this Gael interview from 2006 in the comments section on another interview. Accidental rabbit hole.

2006 New York Post interview:

It's not for nothing that Gael Garcia Bernal was twice cast as revolutionary Che Guavara. The Mexican actor is as charismatic as he is outspoken - especially when it comes to issues concerning his native country.

He's also responsible for some serious box-office magic back home: 2001's "Y Tu Mama Tambien" was the biggest opening weekend ever for a Mexican film, and 2002's "The Crime of Father Amaro" was the most successful Mexican film in history (and possibly the most controversial - he played a secretly non-celibate Catholic priest).

Bernal is currently starring in director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's "Babel," alongside Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett, and was recently seen riding a stop-motion stuffed horse in Michel Gondry's fantastical film "The Science of Sleep."

Q: Mexican directors are hot right now. Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu made waves with "Amores Perros" and "21 Grams." Alfonso Cuaron did it with "Y Tu Mama Tambien." Is Mexico becoming a center for film?

A: There's definitely a worldwide sense that Mexican cinema is pretty big, or a bit "in fashion," right now. Latin cinema as a whole, really. There's this rebirth feeling. But this is nothing, for what the country deserves - Mexico is a country of 100 million people. The year "Amores Perros" was made, there were only six films made there! And this year, it's 65. So there's been a big increase.

But unfortunately, in Mexico, it's harder to make a movie, to even contemplate the idea of directing a film - not many people have the opportunity. I'm sure people from the mountains in Oaxaca find it so far away [from their reality] to do a film. And at the same time, it's exactly those kinds of voices that you want to hear.

If I had to stick with one reason why films matter, it's that: getting to know the "other," and finding that the other is not so different than you are. That's what I think of when I feel like I don't want to make movies anymore.

Q: You have moments when you want to get out of movies?

A: Yeah, I mean, sometimes you feel unprepared, you feel untalented, like you're doing something you don't like, or that you're just doing it terribly. Or you don't like the industrial side. But at the end of the day, there is always that thing. I want to do films because I am an audience first, and films have made me know more about the other - and that the other doesn't exist, really.

Q: Which is one of the points of "Babel." But some people, like the busload of U.S. and British tourists, come across worse than others, don't they?

A: Well, there's two points of view about this movie - you can see that, OK, the people from the U.S. are portrayed as scared people, really worried about health and dirt. But you can also see the other side: Why are the ones that die always from poor countries? We are always the ones that die.

Q: Your character in "Babel" makes pretty bad decisions after he's stopped by an aggressive cop at the U.S.-Mexican border. Have you, or someone you know, ever experienced anything like that?

A: My character makes a bad mistake in a drunken state. But yeah, when you're Mexican, it's a bit of a situation. You have to apply three months before, and it costs $80 for the visa. Sometimes you have to show bank statements to show you're earning money, you're not coming to the U.S. to work. It's kind of stupid - as if money was a sign of honesty, or goodwill. It's a rite of humiliation. They act as if you are coming here to steal.

Q: Is it easier for you to avoid this than most, though?

A: No, no - the last time I crossed the border, walking, I was asked, "Where do you come from?" And I'm like, "Well, I'm from Mexico." And they say, "No, where do you come from?" And I say, "I come from Mexico." I mean, what am I supposed to explain? And they say, "What were you doing in Mexico?" And I say, "Well, I live there." And they say, "No, but what were you doing right before you came here?"

I'm not gonna answer that. Because - you know, what do you care? We're radicalizing the process of integration, and that's terrible. Because it's going backward in time. But it's not just the U.S.'s fault - Mexico is shamefully not providing a place for people to work and live properly. It's everyone's fault.

Q: Did that experience make you want to avoid the U.S.?

A: No. I mean, we share the same territory! But Bush just signed off on the law to start building a wall. It's the second biggest wall that's ever going to be built, it's going to rival the Great Wall of China. And it costs so much money, and so much human resources. Maybe I'm stating the obvious here, but it's kind of ridiculous to build a wall. Walls are always destroyed eventually.

Q: Aside from acting, your production company organizes a worldwide traveling documentary film festival, Ambulante. Are you planning the 2007 festival yet?

A: Yeah, it's happening in 18 cities, on commercial screens, with a big chain - for half-price! Very cheap, it's like $2. And we're going to get together some 15-20 films, divided into three sections. One section we're calling "Dictator's Cut," which is about censorship. For one of those, we're showing both the "official" version and the real one; the rest are already restored, but some of them were completely not shown. It's very exciting.

Q: Your role in Michel Gondry's "The Science of Sleep" was one of your least political roles - was it fun to cut loose and just be weird?

A: It was great, it was a joy to act in. I had a lot of fun doing it. I think not many people have seen it here. Maybe because it was done in France? I mean, it's got good numbers, but still, I wish it would be much more.

There is still this myth - like, for example, I saw the trailer for [Mexican director Guillermo Del Toro's upcoming film] "Pan's Labyrinth," and they don't show you it's in Spanish. You never see a character speaking. I just think that's cheating, you know?

If they actually tell me that there's this weird Iranian love story - I want to see it, because it's in Iran. If it's about a love story in Florida, well, I've seen that before. I'm interested in the further-away, the more surprising.

Q: Do you ever worry that people will take you less seriously because of your looks?

A: [Laughs] No - there are prettier boys than me.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to get back with an ex?

So i (21m) was in a poly relationship with S (21x) and J (24m) for about a year (so that would be when i was 20, S was 19 and J was 22)

Midway through the relationship i was going through some mental health shit so i kind of subconsciously distanced myself (my bad, i definitely shouldve been upfront about what was happening but i have vulnerability issues)

Dont get me wrong, i wasnt straight up neglectful or anything (to my knowledge?), but i really didnt go out with them as much as i used to (if one of us couldnt attend, the other two would go as a couple. It was more efficient like) and didn't really feel as much "honeymoon" intensity if that makes sense

I think its also important to note that once i was semi-able to pull myself out of my rut i decided to start these big art projects to show my appreciation for them and also kind of make up for my distance, like that shit took up my time and sleep and effort. i felt like i wanted to take the next step from casual dating to something actually serious with a future and everything because getting out of my spiral made me remember how much i loved them

So i called them up and found out that they kind of... kicked me off the polycule?? It was this weird situation where they thought I was leaving them behind so they also fully moved in together and started acting like a regular couple without me. obviously i was pissed, and S apologized and tried to communicate which i really appreciate, but J was just doubling down blaming me. At the time i was so angry i turned it into a full out yelling match

I realized it wasnt healthy nor working out and broke it off fully, telling S we could still be friends but cutting J off entirely. I gave all J's shit that was still at my place back to S, blocked J's number and scrapped my project altogether

Fast forward to present day, and im in a completely unrelated relationship with two people i love with all my heart, and by this time ive healed and mended my relationship with S enough that i thought we could start over and add them to the polycule (to be clear my current partners like them too and are on board). We did do that, it's going great and i'm remembering why i loved S so much in the first place

The issue is that S is still with J, and while J doesn't have any issues with both of us separately dating S, S wants all of us to reunite again for old times sake and its very obvious that theyre still holding onto the old versions of us and what we used to be. I say no, i dont even like J anymore and havent spoken to him in forever so why the hell would i care?? Ive grown and changed so much in the time after our relationship that i wouldnt even fit into the nostalgic mold that you want me to be a part of and i dont think J would either

The thing is J does also seem like hes interested in starting over. S said he's grown a lot since, but i think our personalities just dont mesh and ive also just fallen fully out of love with him. It seems to break S's heart, but they get it and don't bother me about it anymore. On the other hand J respects my decision but is still like passive aggressively annoyed about how seriously i took it, saying it was mostly my fault and i took drastic measures for nothing.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

[toskarin]

some design rambles on Jetkaiser's combat system below the break. not particularly well-articulated, and expect a lot of unexplained jargon here if you haven't been following my rambles for a while now lol

-

Holy Arts and Techniques in Armored Blade Jetkaiser take the place of spells or skills in other ttrpgs. notably, their usage is not only encouraged by intense situations, but enabled strongly by desperation

while Techniques often have their own pool of uses before they start costing resources, Holy Arts always dip into a resource, and that resource is (excepting in very rare circumstances where a character might have developed some highly specialised abilities) Blood, which can be viewed as "the closest thing to a health value the game has, tracked only through its absence"

when a player takes damage, it's not really tracked. if something gets under your armour, you're wounded, and when a player has two stacks of wounds, they're killed. this holds true for enemies as well, and because of that, combat is inherently more about forcing a gap in your enemy's armour to hit the soft inside than it is about chipping at a health pool

the first time a character enters combat from a rested state, their blood pool fills. each time a character is wounded, their blood pool refills entirely, returning them to full fighting (if not enduring) strength. if the situation requires, a character can wound themselves to force an earlier refill of blood

there's a few design questions inherent to this, mostly around a very familiar issue in D&D-derived games (combat experimentation is discouraged by heavy consequences), so I ended up with a question to drop into my own hands:

how could Jetkaiser, on a very basic level as a game, encourage scenarios where a player character feels comfortable playing aggressively?

after all, directional armour aside, players only have a single health point of buffer before they're, theoretically, at risk of receiving a character death. if skills eat away at a pool of non-regenerating resource, why would a player ever risk using it?

the end result of this was the current system of wound-layering

when a character receives a wound for the first time in an encounter, this throws them into a state of sunder. several skills are set to fire off when a player is sundered, their blood pool refills, and nothing is really lost. I view this on the design side as the moment when your alarms would probably start screaming at you

in short, it's a serious place to be, but this will never kill a player

when a sundered player is hit again, they're presented a new option: crash their holy frame (the flying armour they wear) and receive a permanent penalty trait when combat concludes, or enter the second layer of wounds (torment)

when in torment, a player (or certain elite enemy) is willingly running the risk of much more debilitating harm. further injury at this point forces the character to crash, and post-combat, they roll 1d6 for each time this has happened to them before. if that number surpasses their blood pool's cap, the character dies

of course, even in the case of a success, a tormented character picks up worse penalties than if they'd crashed their frame earlier

I can't imagine the rules writeup of this will show up in the first playtests, just because I'm still wrestling the layout into a readable form, but so it goes

the wound system, at least, makes a really clean transfer to unmounted combat (carried out in roleplay) because it'd be a bit weird for characters who are more or less ace pilots to feel safe when fighting outside of their planes. if somebody pulls a gun, it should probably be at least a little bit more tense than ideal combat situations

[destinyc1020]

Tom's fans are different, but they speak the facts. It's absolutely normal to want a successful project for your favorite actor because his work and talent should be recognized. It's also normal when you want to see activity on Tom's part. Sometimes some of Tom's fans are negative, but in many ways they are honest, to me they are much better than some hypocritical TZ fans who claim to be equally staned Tom and Zendaya, but in fact they are Zendaya's fans first and foremost. By the way, your theory is very interesting and I think to some extent I can agree with it. But at the same time, it amuses me how sometimes you are too optimistic or do not notice serious problems with some things related to Tom

I mean, I don't mind if fans are honest about their faves. I've always said that I'm 100% honest here on my blog about how I feel about a variety of people and topics. 🤷🏾‍♀️

But to me, it seems as though some fans of Tom (notice I said SOME) can be a bit harsh on him, or complain about things that in the grand scheme of things, really aren't big deals in the long run. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Or, they'll make blanket negative statements that aren't even true, like, "it's normal to want a successful project for your favorite actor" (as if Tom hasn't had MULTIPLE successful projects already?? 🥴🤔), or, you"want to see activity on his part" (as if, we don't get Tom content either through himself, friends, and or family on a REGULAR basis). Look, some actors out here don't even have social media at all, or never post, or don't have their parents posting content about them. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Yet, ppl are still their fans.

I've already made peace with the fact that we're not going to get the same social media happy Tom that we got in 2017. I've made peace with that with both Tom AND Zendaya tbh. If smthg harms my fave and their mental and emotional health, I'm not going to be upset if they're not posting on social media.

I will agree with you that a lot of Tom's fans are actually fans of him by extention of Zendaya, his gf. But he can't help that. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Their stars happened to rise at the same time due to their Spiderman movie that they were in together. Many fans of Z were fans of her BEFORE she got to the level that she is today though, but it's not a bad thing imo?

But at the same time, it amuses me how sometimes you are too optimistic or do not notice serious problems with some things related to Tom

I just feel like Tom's fans are a bit hard on him, and undermine his success already in the industry all the time (his R&J PLAY sold out in like 2 hours!!!) Like, c'mon. 😏

And what "serious problems" are there related to Tom exactly? Is he on drugs? Is he wilding out? Does he look depressed? Is he looking homeless? Has he lost a ton of weight in a short amount of time? Is he acting crazy out in these streets? To me, those are "serious problems" and signs that an actor is going through smthg. All the other stuff you've mentioned aren't "serious problems" imo Anon.

Yes, we all want great things for our fave actors, and of course we wish them the best! 😃 But unless there are some serious issues going on in that actor's life, we need to know our place as FANS, and let an actor live his (or her) life! Actors usually only film about 1 or 2 films a year (if THAT), and the rest of the time, they're working bts, negotiating other future projects, promoting current projects, or simply just taking a break. When you're at Tom's level of success, you can afford to take longer breaks if needed. He's been working and going non-stop for over 7 years. If the man wants to take a break, his fans should be okay with that. Jmho 🤷🏾‍♀️

[twilight-good-yall-dumb]

I have genuinely seen some of the most horrific takes on Liam Payne's death, and even though I don't often get controversial on this website, I'm about to.

First of all, labeling Liam Payne as nothing but some shitty abuser is such an obtuse observation. Obviously, I understand that the power of the internet has had a large part in this. People listen to whatever other people say without second thought or further research. So sure, if you hear from more than one person that Liam was this awful abuser, most people just take that on faith.

The problem is that it's so much more complicated than that. Firstly, a lot of the current information we have about Liam and his ex-fiancé is alleged. Not to say that it isn't true or that I don't believe her. That isn't the message I'm trying to get across at all, but still, it is alleged information, and it's coming only from her. Secondly, a ton of people have been massively misled because Maya released a FICTIONAL book that is supposedly "inspired" in part by her relationship with Liam, and people are taking instances from the FICTIONAL book and assuming they are true to life. Which is...unintelligent to say the least. Secondly, I've seen one account of a fan claiming she was "manipulated" into sending nude photos to Liam, but this fan was literally 25 years old. And according to her, there was no blackmail, threats, or serious pressure involved. We're not talking about naive 18 year old girls like I've seen people claim. And again, I've only been able to find this one account. This was not some kind of trend with him.

Again, my intention is not to blame any of these women or claim that they're lying. It is only to reiterate that other people have been exaggerating the evidence we actually have.

Secondly, the only thing Maya has outright claimed about Liam was his obsessive contact during and after the end of their relationship. She ordered a cease and desist to keep him from further contacting her and to try and put an end to the emotional abuse she had faced. This included him threatening suicide, obsessively apologizing, etc. Which to be entirely truthful, is manipulative and unacceptable behavior. That being said, it is also the behavior of, and a clear symptom of, his poor mental health and substance abuse issues.

Seeing people straight up say that they don't care that he died because the world is "better off without an abuser" or that women shouldn't mourn him because it's somehow anti-feminist to care about a man who has harmed a woman in any way is...such a crazy fucking take. Like I genuinely hope these people never come across somebody in their lives who is dealing with trauma, addiction, or mental health struggles, because holy shit that lack of compassion is crazy. Like, yes, he was not a great guy to Maya. He has literally admitted that in interviews before, admitted that because of his addiction and mental health issues that he has hurt people he loved. This is not behavior in any man that should be excused, but it is behavior that, in my opinion, can be forgiven if that man has the time to make amends.

Liam Payne was not Diddy. He was not a fucking monster. He was not the sort of man who seriously harmed and traumatized countless women. He was a man who was unwell and who made mistakes in his relationships. But as we've seen from so many of his loved ones in the last few days, to his core, Liam Payne was a kind person. He cared about his family, his friends, his son. He wanted people to be happy, to smile. He wanted to entertain people, to be there for people, and to be loved. He was a human. And he was a victim of the music industry. He was overworked, objectified, and commodified as a literal child, and then he was left on his own after spending his most formative years in an extremely high stress environment. I mean, honestly, the fact that any of the boys wound up somewhat stable is beyond my comprehension. There was bound to be at least one of them who struggled to adjust.

And so, to say that you don't care that he died, to say that the world is better off without him, is a wild fucking stance. To have so little empathy for somebody who was a victim himself, to care so little for somebody who brought love and joy to the lives of so many people, who left behind a seven year old son, is fucking cold hearted. Nobody is asking you to cry over a man who you have no personal connection to, and we're also not asking that any of his potential victims receive hate or blame. But that doesn't mean those of us who are grieving should have to hear discourse about your "morally superior" Liam Payne take.

Some of us just want to mourn somebody who was a massive pillar in our lives, who brought us joy in dark times. Who, because we cared, we worried about for years. Not all 1D fans are the same in this regard, but I never hated Liam. I never blamed him for any of the foolish things he said in interviews. I understood his actions as those of somebody struggling, of somebody who was calling out for help, who needed that help, who needed support. Liam Payne, had he lived longer, could have become the man that he wanted to be, that everyone close to him knew he was capable of being. He'd been to rehab, he'd had periods of sobriety. He was working on himself. He was slowly getting better. So yes, I am mourning for the man that he was, not just the boy in the band, but the man he was working towards becoming. I am mourning for the man who made silly videos during Covid that helped me get through the monotony. I am mourning for the man who took silly selfies that made me laugh. I am mourning for the man who was talented beyond belief or recognition. I am mourning for the man who wanted to be loved and accepted so badly, and who the rest of the internet treated like SHIT for years before his death. Which, by the way, almost always had nothing to do with serious allegations but rather actions that the internet deemed "cringe."

I am so tired, and so upset.

None of the women who are mourning Liam's death are "betraying their own sex" or whatever else some of you seem to believe. They are simply exercising a thing called empathy. Try it out sometime!

update: I'm only adding this because I think it would be dishonest to leave it out for anyone who comes across this post later on: I'm just finding out they Maya Henry may have been a minor when she and Liam started dating, which i feel like is a really important/serious addition to make here. Again, I never wanted to make light of or deny any of the allegations with this post, I just wanted to clear things up and dispel some of the exaggeration and blatant disregard and hate I was seeing. Although it's supposedly disputed what age she was when they began dating, there seems to be a consensus that she was at the very least a teenager, which I think is an important piece of context here.

[compassionatereminders]

so at the end of last year my mom got a fibromyalgia diagnosis. it caught her completely off guard, she was just going in for a checkup and hadn’t really considered fibromyalgia as a possibility for something she could have. she was super skeptical about it at first because she’s been misdiagnosed a lot over the past decade.

my mom told her current doctor that she wasn’t sure that her diagnosis was correct, and the doctor recommended that she go to a fibromyalgia specialist. idk if her doctor referred her or if my mom found this person on her own, but my mom managed to get an appointment with a fibromyalgia specialist who actually has fibromyalgia. at the end of the appointment the specialist was like “you do, in fact, have fibromyalgia. do you have any kids with a history of chronic illnesses that haven’t been a hundred percent figured out because I would be shocked if they didn’t also have it” and my mom immediately scheduled an appointment for me.

I also got a diagnosis of regular fibromyalgia (as opposed to my mom, whose fibromyalgia is affected by some kind of food thing, so she has to do this whole elimination diet), and later we learned that my aunt on my dad’s side was diagnosed too. there are a surprising amount of health issues that I have a history of on both sides of my family, and I’ve inherited most of them.

beyond my grandparents though, we don’t really have any information on genetic health issues. which does make sense and they probably wouldn’t have been diagnosed if they did have any health issues, but like. where did the autism on my dad’s side come from?? to my knowledge, it just showed up in all the surviving kids my grandparents had. did one of my grandparents have it? did their parents or siblings have it??? what about the asthma? I’m really curious especially because how would they have even dealt with it? even with regular things that are common now, how did people cope with period cramps without advil or heating pads?

anyway this is very long and I got lost in the sauce somewhere along the way so uhhh. what’s the biggest plushie you own?

This is honestly the first time I hear of a doctor even SUGGESTING Fibromyalgia to a patient, let alone insisting on it - so big shoutout to your moms doctor! I have heard far too many stories of people with that type of chronic illness repeatedly getting dismissed despite serious symptoms, and I'm so glad that didn't happen to you or your mom! My biggest plushie is my Blåhaj

[cheolsfae]

"how does En Jake see/think of relationships" like the idea of romantic relationships? If its too much, please disregard, thankyou💕

Sure! Little bit different than the usual! Let me know what you guys think of this style. It's the Celtic cross and I've never done it before.

*Disclaimer: Solely for fun. Please do not take this seriously! For entertainment purposes only!*

Current situation: 10 of swords

I think he feels mentally defeated in love. I don't think he really wants anything to do with it at this point in time. He might think they are meant to just beat you down due to past situations and people he's dealt with. He just is kind of done with it. He might feel like they are a waste of time.

Challenge: 4 of pentacles

This could go two different ways. One, he could be quite jealous when it comes relationships. He might be kind of insecure. Maybe constantly thinking that his partner might leave him for another at any given moment. He might have experienced this in the past. Two, he might not share a whole hell of a lot about himself. Like what he's feeling, what's worrying him. Things like that. That's something he needs to work on.

Focus: 8 of swords

He might be getting into his head a little too much. He gets a little anxious when something in the relationship gets a little too serious. He needs to work on not staying in his head and rotting away with the negative thoughts. He needs to let this all go and just go with the flow of what's happening in whatever connection he's in.

Past/leaving: the devil

He might have a track record of having these types of beliefs of when that person leaves him. I think we saw some of this in his twin flame reading. Check that out if you want! All of this negative thinking just keeping him in this cycle. Only thinking the worst of whoever walks into his life romantically. Understandable but he can't keep thinking in this repetitive way. It's not helping anything.

Strengths: knight of swords

He is a courageous person. I don't think he has a fear of being rejected if he were to ask someone out. Oh they don't want me? Ok, on to the next. Not an issue, the issue lies when he gets a little too serious with someone. He's scared to get close in case they leave. He might be the first to bounce in situation-ships.

Near future: the high priestess

The universe may have a little surprise for him soon. Someone/something is coming towards him. It's going to be good for him. He is completely unaware of what's coming and I get the vibe it's something he's going to be extremely excited for! Dude, I'm getting excited for him!

Advice: 8 of pentacles

He needs to just stay focused on himself for the time being. Work on his career, his own mental health. His own issues in relationships. Things of that nature. Possibly even self love. Just on himself. No need to be focused on getting into a relationship. "I don't chase, I attract. What is meant for me will simply find me". That type of thing.

Environment: queen of cups

He could just need to be supported by friends and family at this time. Just around people who love him. People who can give him the affection he needs at this point. People who can help him to find a little bit more self love for himself than he is currently feeling.

Hopes & fears: temperance

He might be feeling like he's been waiting forever for someone good for him to come along. Someone who can reassure him when he needs it. But he needs to be a little bit more patient. This person will come along a. when he least expects it and b. when he has worked enough on himself.

Potential outcome: king of pentacles

If he does the work required, he could be happier and able to offer more than what he currently can emotionally to a potential partner. More secure in what he can give. Less possessive. More open to wanting to communicating what he needs/wants from his partners.