#and i'll keep bringing it back
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b.katsuki x reader (fem)
a.n; i blame this completely over the Olympics, again. sorry, but it has me on chokehold and i'm not resisting against it LOL 😜
Okay, hear me out...
Third date with Bakugou Katsuki.
The first one, of course, was very awkward and tense and sometimes even a bit worrisome. We are talking about dating Bakugou Katsuki, the one aggressive and violent Pro Hero that everybody has a hate-love feeling towards for; because the man looks and acts –and can– step on your head and crush it with malicious intent and yet, he's Nº 2 Pro Hero on the ranks and you just know that if he's around, you are completely safe. But he's big and tough and harsh in his talking and walking –how can anyone look that scary by just walking, you're still wondering, but it's real. He's fucking scary.
The second date was way more relaxed. He cooked for you. In his massive penthouse that probably costs more than your annual salary. Yep, morherfucker is rich rich. And you think he deserves it really. After all the troubles he goes through to keep the whole country safe –and even the world–, he completely deserves it. You just forgot how well he does his job to get to be that rich. You don't care about money though. You're dating him because you saw him helping a granny cross the street and that was the cutest thing you ever saw. So, back to the second date, he cooked for you, and damn... now you can say you'll keep dating him because of his food. Man cooks like the gods, like a fucking professional chef of the most expensive restaurant on earth. And also, you noticed how relaxed and in peace he looked in his own environment and he looked. So. Freaking. Attractive. Hot even. He looked just so... deliciously handsome.
So for the third date, and because he picked the second one, this one was of your choice. You decide to go ice skating. And you did not expect what happened at all.
One would expect that Pro Hero Dynamight, civilian name Bakugou Katsuki, being who he is, would have exceptional balance and even a hidden talent for this. You’re wrong. Everyone is wrong. The second the blades of his skates touched the Ice Rink, he fell. Your eyes opened wide and you definitely were holding back your laugh as he struggled to get himself up by holding the handrail around the rink.
“Need some help?” You asked, getting close to him with no trouble at all. He looked up at you annoyed, struggling so hard to get up and keep his balance that his cheeks turned pink. How. Freaking. Cute. You’re glad that dating the Pro Hero came with its perks –like closing the whole rink just so only you and him are there, enjoying your date on a late wednesday night.
“Shut up. No, I can do it…” He declared, but another fall on his knees made you giggle while sliding backwards and away from him with ease, hands up in surrender. Katsuki looked at you once his stood for the nth time holding the handrail like dear life with a frown on his face, watching you how easy you made it look, “How the fuck are you doing that?”
You giggled again, amused by all of this situation. Sliding back towards him and extending your hands, you said, “Come one, let me help.”
Katsuki buffed but he placed his hands on yours, whole body trembling, barely holding himself up. The image of him sticking his ass up and body bending forward while his feet barely moved made you laugh out loud and he yelled another “shut up!”.
You changed your grip to his forearms and again slid backwards to make him move forward, his legs still trembling and his eyes never leaving the floor. He looked so cute, it made your heart flutter. The smile never left your face as you spoke again, “I used to skate a lot when I was younger. I even prepared myself to compete, but an injury put me out of the game.”
He immediately looked back at you at your words, “What happened?” He looked curious, but also worried and kind of sad.
You shrugged, “I landed pretty badly over my right leg after a spinning jump once. After that, the shin splints became unbearable and I couldn't continue…”
He looked down at your leg, watching you move attentively, “Does it hurt now?”
You shook your head and smiled at him, grateful for his worry, “Naah. It would only hurt badly if I tried to skate the way I used to… Guess I demanded a lot of myself back then.”
Katsuki didn’t comment further on, but he kept his attention on your leg. Didn’t that make him even cuter!
It took you a while –long while– to finally be able to let go of one of his forearms once he was ready on his balance; his other hand still held yours strongly.
Time went by, both of you laughing and smiling while skating around the rink, hand in hand. You’re so happy that you could stand on the ice again. It brought you so many fond memories of when you were a kid. Skating was the only thing that could easily make you smile just because; the wind in your face made you feel free, content. and Katsuki could clearly see that.
For a moment, he got distracted by how beautiful you looked… and he lost his balance again. This time bringing you down with him. He was fast enough though to catch you and make you land over him. Your amused and loud laugh was contagious, so he couldn’t help but smile. He's having fun –even if he knew his body was going to hurt a bit the next day for how many falls he had.
“You’re so clumsy…” You laughed, joking kindly and funny.
“Oh, yeah? Then why don’t you show me what you can do?” His smirk made you suddenly stop laughing. It’s a clear challenge, yet curiosity shined in his eyes.
“Alright, hero… watch and learn,” you helped him stand up and directed him towards the handrail.
Once he was away from possible harm, Katsuki watched you skate around the rink as if you were flying, gliding around with so much confidence and ease, as if you were made for it. Your hair floating behind you for how fast you were going, dancing beautifully with the air. He was hypnotized. Completely mesmerized by each little form you decided to enlighten him with. He particularly felt fascinated when you decided to spin fast and so many times he couldn’t count how many, then you stopped like it had been nothing and kept gliding around.
You looked so nice and professional, Katsuki felt a little pang of pity for the world. It would never be able to share how beautifully perfect you looked at the moment.
A few more glides around, until you stopped in a very experienced way right in front of him, a huge smile on your face and a shine on your eyes that were proof of how immensely excited and happy you felt.
Did katsuki say already how fucking beautiful you were?
Just to prove his point, he instantly grabbed your face and kissed you for the very first time.
And fuck, he planned on keep kissing you as much as you would let him.
He let you go for a moment just to say, “That was beautiful… You’re gorgeous.”
You smiled one more time before sliding your arms around his neck to kiss him again. He moved a bit to surround your waist with his arms…
And that’s when he forgot about the handrail and sent you both again towards the floor.
#also i keep imagining when you both go back to your apartment#cuz of course you're invinting him over to eat something even though is already very late into the night#and unfortunately you do feel the shin of your right leg bother you a bit#so when you sit on your couch and rub against it#it doesn't go unnoticed by katsuki#so he sits next to you#brings your legs up over his lap and starts massaging them#especially the one that bothers you#it def brings kinky time 😏#DO I HAVE TO SAY MORE???#PLS STOP ME OR I'LL KEEP ON RAMBLINGGGG#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#mha bakugou katsuki#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou katsuki#katsuki bakugou x reader#bnha bakugo katsuki#mha bakugou x reader#mha bakugo katsuki#mha drabbles#mha imagines#mha fluff#mha scenarios#mha x reader#mha x you#bnha bakugo x reader#bnha fluff#bnha imagines#bnha scenarios
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Me: I fucking love arcane Also me: FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS PLAY LEAGUE OF LEGENDS.
#It brings out the worst in some ppl#it brought out the worst in me#I hate the game and i almost got back into it recently and then stopped#thankfully im not an emotionally charged brat anymore and I can take losses and fuckups with A LOT more grace than I used to#but like.... dont do it man.#adding my addition to the pile of 'dont play lol' memes i keep seeing#this is your sign if youve been debating#LOVED THE LORE THO#I'll stick with the show and staying behind the scenes/watching my OTHER friends play it#but my league days are done and have been for a long LONG time
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In light of my recent Asclepius and Apollo musings, I feel like it's the perfect time to post this, actually.
How do you build a human being?
Bold question. Foolish question. But a question it is all the same.
The memory of his father’s consternated expression is still bright behind his eyes, that unusually furrowed brow, the tension in his gentle jaw. He didn’t falter in his setting of Asclepius’ broken shin, hands perpetually steady and sure, but he hesitated for a conspicuously long moment as though reluctant to give an answer. In this body, he resembled Orpheus something fierce. The same flaxen curls of his hair, the same delicate eyelashes that stand stark against the dark brown of his skin. Often Asclepius wondered if his elder brother was nothing but a body built to suit their father’s preferences. The subtle wrinkle of skin around their eyes when they smiled was the same, and the steadiness of their hands, the soothing power of their presence.
And Orpheus did not bleed like Asclepius did. The blood in Asclepius’ veins were as red as any human’s, any mortal’s, but Orpheus seemed not to bleed at all. Even when he’d suffered the same fall down the crumbling cliff as Asclepius had. Even when his skirts had ripped and jagged stone sliced into his shanks.
Even so, Orpheus was unmistakably alive. His eyes were rich with grief fresher than any blood spilt from the worst of Asclepius’ wounds, his counsel too, was tempered with the wisdom of a life well lived. So even at the apex of his most perfect, inhuman beauty, Asclepius never once doubted that his brother was a human being. Just that he was more divine construct than flesh and blood. Just that their father had built for himself a son that would not break as easily as all the others.
His father stayed silent for so long that Asclepius assumed it would be one of the million questions that would go unanswered. Then, just when the last of his bandages had been wrapped -
“A human body is easy to build,” he’d had that faraway look on his face as he spoke, like he was speaking to the horizon. Or a version of Asclepius that was not quite here. Such things happened from time to time. “Any flesh would do. From men, or animals, or even monsters. Any flesh would do.” Their gazes had locked then, and Asclepius would never forget the flecks of gold which swirled in his father’s blue eyes, the weight of divine words rattling at the boundaries of their mortal apparatus, “But the breath of life, a living soul? That is beyond your means as a mortal man. You ought never seek it.”
(Asclepius would remember these words when he revives a man for the first time at the age of nineteen. He’s surprised to find that his father is wrong for once. Souls are easy to source when they’re already eager to return to their mound of flesh.)
#ginger writes#apollo#asclepius#orpheus#greek mythology#greek myth writing#pursuing daybreak posting#No because all this has done is make me think even MORE about Asclepius is this story because that man is Trying#Is he an idiot about it? Yes but that's what makes him compelling methinks#hyacinthusmemorial's 'Asclepius came back but he came back wrong' is SO TRUE LIKE BESTIE#Of all the mortals who ascend Heracles is perhaps one of the blessed few who gets to keep some aspect of his mortal identity#Because he suffered and lost and laboured for so long as a mortal#But Semele lost her name Psyche was completely transformed even Ganymede was robbed of his family#One can only imagine what Asclepius lost when he was brought back#Him as the constellation Ophiuchus is also interesting btw - the forgotten 13th zodiac#Ugh I'll start rambling but what an interesting man and what an interesting history#For posterity btw Asclepius is said to have brought back or attempted to bring back at least four people before Zeus vaporised him#Tyndareus Glaucus Hymenaeus and well Hippolytus#So it wasn't just the one time#Other accounts name a whole host of other people Asclepius revived or brought back from the brink of death#In my mind he's a scientist before he's a doctor and so he's always questioning - always pushing boundaries for better or for worst.
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i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece
#ill watch it at some point but despite my silence i have been like obsessively anxious about this cartoon#and pestered my friend to watch it for me sDFJKL#in a month this will have either ruined pnf for me forever or i'll have changed my mind and i like it actually its fine#for now anyway i have tons of comic sketches about perry's muteness that i no longer wanna finish and share...maybe someday but not now#i had a rly great day actually but now im falling asleep in bed tipsy and a little teary over this. cuz i love perry a lot he's#really special to me. i also got that star wars perry shirt in the mail today btw. and. it's such a good pj shirt#but back on topic#it sucks when an aspect of a character that is CORE to your appreciation of them becomes casually disregarded by the writers at some point#like im certainly not ever accepting an interpretation of perry like 'secretly hed really like to be able to talk' because its#never ever been communicated. like the idea that heinz wd prefer if perry was human. its just not in the show. the opposite is true in fact#so im left feeling stupid for caring about something that some writers(inc. dan) felt was unimportant. makes me not wanna continue my art#which sux cuz i like my comic ideas! id love to finish them. i hope i get over this.#i overreact to live-updating media when im fixated on it wh is why i prefer getting into dead fandoms haha#but they keep on bringing them back to life dont they...im never safe#it was funny me trying to explain to my friend why i efel so strongly about this meanwhile hes tried to explain why he feels so strongly ab#ut AYA and my stance on that episode has always just been “cute! its fine” lmao#@ dwampy you guys made the show that follows a specific rhythm and set of rules designed to appeal to obsessive autistic brained people ok#you invited my overreaction. unsheathes katana etc#ok im goint to sleep#meta
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Yknow since you’re so popular (and handsome) what if you had like ….. Rodney Face Friday or something. Where you answer in this format. Name needs some work but fuck man im no professional
well. hm. i'll lay out a few options. we'll see.
#this is keeping free time in mind#blog management#pkmn irl#if i do bring it back i'll keep it under a tag in case anyone would rather ignore them
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just some 🥥 related sillies i've made for that fic we all know.
#durarara#izaya orihara#shizuo heiwajima#shizaya#a cheap imitation#i made a thing#i've been holding off on posting these here for so long whoops#i'm so shy... check out my lemonade guys#i've been very motivated to make various things for this fic as a result of this book club i've been hosting for my friends#i actually made the first image (not the video) like two years ago?#back around when i first read the fic and started being annoying about it to my friends#never posted it though because the shizuo i drew was ugly!!!#and the shizuo i drew for the second image this time around is still ugly!! unfortunately :(#well anyways if it isn't clear the images are both for chapter 19 while the video is for chapters 28 to 29 and a little bit of 30 lol#also i know izaya's actual problem isn't fucking shizuo but kissing him lol but it was funnier to keep it like this#you can check out more of this deranged behaviour over at my twitter of the same name#i know not everyone wants to go there though especially with the current situation...#so i'll try to bring over the more memorable stuff to post in batches over here which i think is the stuff i did any art for#since i've made a lot of multimedia type things dedicated to particular chapters as “marketing” for my friends#but i'm not sure they'll make much sense out of context so#my plan is to compile all of everything i've made for the fic during the book club into a powerpoint that i'll try to keep for posterity#because ngl i feel i went kinda hard with certain things that maybe only two people will appreciate#but i'll do it for those two people out there#also it's a whole book club for aci!!#*i'd* want to see what some random people have been up to with a book club for this fic#be the change you want to see in the world#side note i wonder if having so many fucking tags on your own post is a bad look...#idk it's so much clutter but i have too many things to say!!#i look back at my own previous tags and i physically can't bring myself to read them ahhhh#i hope anyone's enjoying them anyways
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s2 episode 8 thoughts
tears. in my eyes. shaky breathing. oh. okay.
well. no place to start but the beginning.
stares at my laptop screen for a long, long time before typing. give me a minute. allow to me collect myself.
okay. we start with scully's mom narrating. and we learn, thanks to the subtitles, that her mom's name is margaret. this is information i will also be storing in my useless scully facts book.
so we knew she had two brothers, but a sister is also mentioned, named melissa. and we get this story from her childhood, about how dana- which feels wrong for me to type, but i will- was given a bb gun by her brothers, and she joined in with them shooting a snake. but then she realized it was bleeding and she cried as it bled out in her hands and held it while it died. which is already So much to handle. and her mom is saying that she feels how her daughter felt that day watching the animal die.
the next thing we see is mulder is there, and. he's saying it's still too early to know if she's gone. but. well.
we see a gentleman bring something out. and it is a gravestone with her name carved into it.
he turns away like he was burned from even looking at it. and man. that hurt. very badly.
we see that her middle name is katherine. and we learn this because we see it on her gravestone.
he goes back to his place (where he still sleeps on the couch) but then he gets a phone call that they've found her. and he busts into the door when the nurse says he can't go in there. that's our man!
he's screaming at these poor healthcare workers, somewhat rightfully suspicious they're involved with the government who took her, but also man. they don't get paid enough. however, i understand the emotional explosiveness this had to have provoked. so he is really just screaming, at the nurse, at the doctor, demanding to know what the hell happened, where she came from, and he says "i swear i'll do anything, i'll find out what they did to her" while being escorted out
then there is a very tense conversation between the doctor and her mother and him. the doctor must have already have been in quite a state, because mere minutes ago a raving angry man accused him of stealing his friend, and now he's sitting with said angry man explaining that they genuinely have no idea how she got here, and that she has no indication of injury.
we also learn that she had no desire to remain on life support past a certain point. and mulder knows this because. he. he. he uh. well he signed her will.
now i think maybe that's just something you have to do at the fbi and i can see them making a little joke out of it- a nice little trip to get each other's will signed, make a day of it, keep it light and funny- but man. man in this context. oh i'm gonna be Sick.
so we see a woman holding a crystal over her body and we learn it is her sister melissa!!! she's really pretty. she tries to show mulder that you can feel her energy by holding his hands over her but he gets angry and leaves.
(i love this dichotomy here, that somehow the ultra skeptic has a sister who is into talking about spirits and crystals. truly i feel this is what happens to people raised catholic)
at this point i wrote "girl i'm stressed tf out" and yeah. kinda the whole mood.
melissa is saying that his anger and fear is blocking the positive emotions she needs to feel, which echoes my statements about how he has been too cranky this season. but i can't even laugh because the man is in Distress.
he goes back to his place after saying he needs "to do more than just wave his hands", and he's bouncing a basketball and putting tape on his windows. i get it. that oppressive feeling of being unable to sit still. every moment dragging like a lifetime. bounce bounce bounce. he wakes up and rips the tape off his windows.
and back to attending to her bedside. i do not think this man has been clocking into his shift at the fbi.
we see a fellow enter wearing a suit and carrying flowers and i was like oh shit is it last rites time? um. so maybe i don't know what gets worn to a last rites event. i realize my weakness in this area and will do some research when we're done here.
but it's not anyone here to do that- it's frohike, the guy from the lone gunman who was making weird comments about scully! he must have come to pay his last respects. he picks up a clipboard and i thought oh my gosh he's gonna start reciting poetry- but he notices something weird on her chart and sneaks it out
it seems the whole thing was orchestrated, because mulder goes back to the freaks at the lone gunman, who invite him to come over and watch earth 2 and point out the factual inaccuracies- which, all things considered, is very sweet- but they send her blood data to a hacker that uses a richard nixon persona and he says that yeah, her blood is weird. and mulder's like, is she gonna make it, and they say no. it got very somber.
in terms of scully view, we see her on this dock of a boat between life and death. i thought that was nice imagery, and extremely eerie. those around her bedside are on one side of the dock, and it looks like the rope could snap and drift away at any moment.
the nurse comes in to do some blood work and i have another "augh blood" moment. so i look away. and mulder is REALLY pondering her blood. i thought he was honestly gonna take it for himself, maybe bring it in for testing or keep it like an emo.
but no! a strange man in a suit STEALS the blood!
so mulder is back into track star mode and is SPRINTING after this guy. i always forget that he is a runner. and he is RUNNING around this hospital and makes it to the parking lot until...
he is stopped by deep throat 2.0, a man for whom i realize i have no other name. but you know who i'm referring to, right? so i guess that name will work for now. deep throat 2.0 says that mulder needs to stop NOW, and that HE got deep throat 1.0 AND scully killed by looking into things too hard. which is an absolutely awful thing to say btw. deep throat 2.0 has a gun to mulder's head and says to stop searching.
mulder proceeds to run after the blood thief despite these warnings. can't say i blame him. he finds the blood thief!!! and they have a bit of a fight until...
deep throat 2.0, who earlier said he wanted to remain out of this mess, rolls up? so we're getting mixed messages here. and he says i'll take care of this and SHOOTS THE BLOOD THIEF?????? in the head.
back to the hospital. mulder is not pleased about the prospect of life support being removed but melissa says he has to honor her wishes. and he's going on about the blood protein and the doctor is like "why do you think this has anything to do with blood protein" and he Does Not Explain
her mom calls him "fox" again and says this is a moment for the family, but he can come too. and he won't come in. he's the wettest and saddest a man has ever looked as they go in there. and then the rope holding her to the dock of the afterlife is severed.
man. if i had been a contemporary viewer i would have been sobbing. thank god i've seen gifsets that prove this wasn't the end for her. because if i hadn't, i would have been in shambles. i mean i Was in shambles but like i would have been bawling on the floor.
cig man is with skinner. i honestly didn't think we'd get up to any sort of fbi related tasks in this episode, but he hands skinner a report and leaves. and then mulder comes in and denies being involved with the shootout at the hospital
(it's worth noting that he is doing all the denying to be an ass to skinner, and yells about "how does it feel, all the denial")
and he says that it was "cancer man" who took scully. i had been calling him cigarette man, but cancer man is very comparable.
the next thing i wrote was "SKINNER IS A BITCH????" this was because he said that mulder is "just as responsible" as cancer man for scully's situation if he knew the risks of this line of work and didn't warn her.
skinner baby YOU CAN'T SAY THAT? seriously i cannot figure this guy out. every time i think i have a read on him he does something like this that shifts my interpretation. what a horrible thing to say to someone.
cut to scully cam. she's on a table in metaphysical land. and her dad is there. he calls her starbuck and refers to himself as ahab- so the first mate and the captain. and he's monologuing about how he never knew how much he loved her until he realized he could never be with her again, and he says they'll be together "soon", but not now. so i'm wondering if she can hear all of this going on. i would guess so.
mulder is in the cafeteria with melissa and she is trying to talk a bit of sense into him. she says "you could spend the rest of your life finding every person that's responsible and its still not gonna bring her back" and he replies "including myself?"
now usually i would say that mulder taking the blame upon himself is tragic and typical, but here, having it also been implied by skinner AND deep throat 2.0, i am thinking, man, he's got to really believe it, even more so than all the other times he couldn't save everyone. which is. fucked up. so immensely fucked up. i'm sorry you pissed me off last episode baby but we can go to the zoo again like i planned. let's go see some tigers and cheer you up.
a woman walks in and asks him for change for the "cigarette machine", which was the first time in my life i have ever heard the term "cigarette machine", so maybe the earth really is healing
but he finds a pack with an address in it, and then, straight from my notes:
"CIG MAN'S HOUSE. OH MULDER IS THERE AND POINTING A GUN AT HIM. AND ALSO SCREAMING. "why her" oh his finger gets very close to the trigger"
cig man says he likes her and mulder, and. wow. what a despicable human being. he says that he likes mulder more for showing up to his place with a gun. says he's playing the game. mulder seems to have a realization he is acting just like those he swore to destroy and puts the gun down. cig man says it'll be their secret. and also that he was the one that told skinner that mulder shot the guy in the hospital even though he didn't think it was true.
we next see mulder sadly tapping at his computer. he prints a one sentence resignation letter "effective immediately" NOT even a two week's notice, that's how bad they fucked this man up
skinner comes by and says it's unacceptable while mulder is packing all of his things. and mulder says:
"i hate what i've become"
man. fuck. he hates the rage he has been driven to. the loss of control. the way he sees himself as being responsible for deep throat and scully. and all of it stemming from his need for answers, to track down his sister. he hates what that feeling of insufficiency has led him to and the path he now walks upon. hates it. hates his situation and himself and the world.
skinner decides to share some personal story time: he went off to vietnam- willingly enlisting on his 18th birthday. and then while he was there he shot a kid who was covered in grenades. the camera glances back at mulder occasionally, who, despite all of his grief, seems to be consulting his oxford training to try and remember what you're supposed to say to a guy who just told you he killed a child in vietnam.
and then he says he watched all his friends die and that he almost died- he was put in a body bag, and was in a coma for two weeks- and he was too scared to learn what happens next. but mulder isn't. and that's why his resignation is unacceptable.
mulder adds things up and realizes that it was skinner that gave him cancer man's location. again. complicating the vibe i get from skinner in doing something positive now. he says that every day is a risk.
deep throat 2.0 rolls up, saying that the people who did this to scully are going to break into his apartment tonight, and he'll have to kill them. he looks displeased by this- aversion to taking any sort of lives- but resigns himself to it.
so he's in his place in the dark ready to start blasting, when he gets a knock on the door. and it's melissa.
this is where we get the iconic exchange "why is it so dark in here?" "because the lights aren't on" which made me laugh so thoroughly seeing it out of context before i ever decided to watch this show
and melissa is MAD. scully is weakening, and she came to get him to say his goodbyes, but he won't go because. well. shootout is about to go down. this is his ONE chance to learn who did this to scully. but she doesn't know that is why he won't leave, so she YELLS at him, about being in a place even darker than her sister, and asks "why is it so much easier for you to run around trying to get even than just expressing to her how you feel? i expect more from you. dana expects more from you"
and man. those words are heavy. he locks the door, knowing that his place is gonna be robbed, and that he'll never know who hurt her, and comes down to see her.
and he's talking to her. holding her hand. saying he's here. he doesn't know if it'll change anything, but he's here.
when he goes home, his place is entirely ransacked, and he falls to the ground crying. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. i can't even put into words how bad this broke me. big strong mulder weeping on the ground, his career in shambles and his best friend dead.
i feel like i need to pause there just for how heavy it was. like this was his lowest low. lower than even vampire sex.
but he soon gets a call and he smiles so wide!!! and we learn her eyes are open!! it is the sweetest smile i have ever seen!!!!!!
he gets down to the hospital and she's awake and talking- but she doesn't remember anything- and he, being the insufferable man that he is, says the following:
"i brought you a present (holds up a vhs tape) superstars of the superbowls"
man. man. man. man. she deadpans so quickly. "i knew there was a reason to live"
he must have grabbed a random tape off his shelf and brought it to her with the express intent of antagonizing her back in the realm of the living. and he thought of something to say along with it on the car ride down, his hands shaking. something, anything to make her laugh. a stupid vhs tape. his constant sports references. her quick tongue. oh dear lord help me these two have ruined me.
he gives scully her necklace back, which i wrote about in all caps, while her mother and sister watch
and then we learn that the nurse who was taking special care of her was never actually there when scully wants to thank her and the other nurse is like "um no one who works here has that name" so. SCULLY PARANORMAL EXPERIENCE (POSITIVE)??!?!?!?
overall. man. i am experiencing such a volume of emotions. what the hell. she's back, though. and we saw how much she means to him. and i feel like i could type a million words on the subject but i don't even know what to say because they're still all stuck in my chest. they love each other sososo much.
will he ever tell her what he did in her absence? how he tried to quit? how he broke every rule trying to save her? how he screamed at the doctors, how he broke into cigarette man's house, how he almost pulled the trigger? how he watched a man die when deep throat 2.0 shot him? how he was blamed for her condition by himself and by others? how he left his apartment to be ransacked, giving up his one chance to catch whoever did this to her, to try and let go of his grief and be with her instead? or will he keep quiet except for the latest witticisms and frequent visits and presents and stories by her bedside while she gains strength and recovers?
and how he left, too, when he knew she was okay. how he must have wanted to be there more than anything in the world, but knew she needed to rest, so he left her with her family. how he could breathe easy again. how he had to make it seem like it was cool, and everything was contained.
man. this tv show. i just typed all of those words out and i still feel like i didn't even begin to cover the things i'm feeling. i feel like i need to shake them up and down.
but this should be good, because the x files are reopened... so are we seriously, as the kids say, so back? only time will tell!
#neeeeeed to know what happens while she's getting better#need an incredibly detailed oneshot. because i KNOW they are gonna jump back into the shenanigans in the next episode#and we're not gonna get to see all the time it takes for her to gain strength and how she struggles through it and everyone's reactions#no i know this too well by now. we're gonna get another case next episode and not an analysis into this.#BRING ME THE FIC i bellow from the comfort of my bedroom.#this whole experience had such an emotional effect on me i know that perhaps it can be ME who comes back and writes the fic someday#which is why i'm glad i take detailed notes. so i can jump back in.#i also wanted a fic post episode 20 after they had been eaten by the bugs because i'm a sucker for whump basically#so maybe i'll come back to that someday as well#anyway. this is why we watch this show. not for awkward vampire sex. i forgive u mulder. you're my special meow meow again#but scully can do no wrong so keep that in mind moving forward.#juni's x files liveblog#2x08#txf#the x files
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I need to convince my dad into getting me into the pit...
The book isn't enough I need to see my wife
I lob him <3333 (kinda /p but also not rlly idk being an aro selfshipper is rlly weird)
#hes so eepy!!#i can't just watch stream chat#I need to see this beautiful fucking idiot through my own screen#(I probably won't even play I'll just keep getting intentionally caught 😭)#(he not jump scaring me Nuh uh)#(he's smooching me and bringing me back to bed because I have stuff to do tomorrow)#(trust me bro)#self ship#selfship#into the pit#pittrap#fnaf itp
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See, I was thinking he could just tap into your bloodstream. If he's hanging out in Rain's pocket we already know where he's getting the cells to convert from, and, well, why overcomplicate the system that's already there?
I may have just answered my own question by realizing that Rain would probably be turbo-weirded out by the more straightforward proposal.
#body horror cw#ignore Morg#... I'm assuming we're making the same assumption as to where he's getting cells to convert to DG cells without draining his host#Maybe I'm a little too into the consensual possession thing. It's a very self-indulgent thought.#But. I think the ideal partner for Schwarz if he keeps getting himself disintegrated#(as far as not making regenerating a fucking Char-fest goes)#would be a trans man that just lets Schwarz borrow his body for whatever amount of time.#Look G fans if you want to keep insisting that Schwarz is a char clone bring him back using my method; that would bring him over the line#... I'm not personally into the whole mommy kink thing that this setup could easily lean into#but the idea of bizarre symbiosis? where the host is willing but their partner is unhappy with using/needing them? That's the good shit.#Also look I'm a brutal utilitarian when it comes to the wretched organ and would love to find some unintended uses for the thing okay?#I'm keeping this out of the main tags but I'll be reblogging this with the above tags and my category tags for findability
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Last month, I impulsively deleted my library because my mental health was at an all-time low and I was struggling with a number of things, including not feeling really wanted anywhere.
I do miss having my stories up here and getting the few bits of interactions I did get from them. Mostly likes, but hey, I'll take them if that's all I'll ever get. At least people are reading, and that's really what I want even if I would love to get comments and other types of interactions.
I've actually been looking at fixing up most of my works in some form or another because I am a writer at heart. I don't really want to go back to only keeping my stories in notebooks rather than sharing them with others, especially as I have some new ideas I'd really like to explore and see how they go over.
So, I guess what I'm asking is...
#calla rambles#guess I'm seeing how this goes#probably won't bring much back before the new year#it's a bit of a busy time with kiddos and a young pup still at home#but i'll do what i can if people want them back#definitely going to do my best to keep my impulsivity in check
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ok so i really really liked the first half of this ep and then unfortunately hated the second half </3 the sound design and elio/nadia's acting was sooooo good and idk the tension was THERE.... and then i think the script just fell the fuck apart as soon as drayden met with varric and the gang. and no solas cameo is insane btw and im saying that from a writer perspective btw not as a fan. like all of the build up about the anomalies and the artifact and the hunt for him and even the comparisons btwn elio/nadia and solas/varric or dare i say even solas/inquisitor lol ..... all of was for nothing ???????? insane !!!!!!!
i mean i get that ultimately dragon age is at its core ALWAYS about the relationships. and elio's death is the true storyline and the conclusion of nadia's arc. im guessing they meant for solas to be little more than the vehicle to tell that story. fine. acceptable. but i dont know. im assuming this artefact will come up in datv and thats why its been left unexplained??? but it seems an odd choice to set elio up as having this super special bloodline and having solas make cryptic af commentary in the first episode about him......... only for him to just Die and those questions raised IN THE PODCAST regarding THE PODCAST PROTAGONISTS not get answered. the whole script just felt.... rushed. idk ! the payoff was so non-existent. and to have spent so much time on that really weird fight scene that was straight up just 3 minutes of yelling/grunting noises ......... i dont know. i expected better since the scene directing/sound design has been PEAK up until that.
ultimately i really dont care that much and i do want to stress that if u agree with me then u should also not care bc at the end of the day it is a Podcast lol. and it wasnt written by the datv writers at all afaik. there are very few actually well-written pieces of dragon age tie-in media out there so i had gone into this expecting it to be kind of mid and ultimately i enjoyed it WAY more than i thought i would . but yeah. not a fan of the last ep i guess ! but thats ok ! as i said <3 at least varric was hot <3
#vows and vengeance#vows and vengeance spoilers#give ME the license to make tie-in media next time bioware i will give the people what they WANT !!!#i do think i wouldve kept my mouth shut on all of this if theyd found an excuse to bring taash back </3 but alas#anyway i guess i'll keep writing my au fake v&v ep where nadia and drayden meet ashara#to Cope lol
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It feels like gaming studios have been reviving legacy franchises left and right, with SEGA's initiative last year bringing 5 franchises back from the dead, and now Bandai Namco bringing back Ninja Gaiden, doing something fresh with Pac-Man, Okami coming back, Virtua Fighter coming back.
Astro Bot won GOTY, and the Main Feature of that game was that it referenced the entire catalog of SONY franchises that have been left to rot.
This makes the perfect storm. I'm wondering, will SONY join in on this legacy revival trend? Bring back the old PS2 platformers? Make some smaller games to keep interest in their IPs alive?
I'm not sure, SONY seems to have had a streak of hubris as of late, especially with their recent spectacular failure in introducing new IPs, but maybe they will learn from that hubris instead of doubling down. But maybe they will learn the wrong lessons.
They are, after all, bringing back Marathon, but as unrecognizable multiplayer only live-service slop instead of the story rich single-player games the franchise is known for. It seems to be "Marathon" in name alone. Perhaps that's more on Bungie than Sony, but who knows. We can only wait to see if they course correct that game in time.
I hate that the best way to make money in this industry is to be absolutely drenched in nostalgia, but it's just as frustrating to see companies ignore their own history. To act like people wouldn't want to see these franchises again, while in the same breath announcing LAST OF US II for the 10th time is so disconnected from what I see people talking about online.
#ftt#I don't have a ps5 so I guess I don't have a horse in this race but I don't have a ps5 because I have a ps2 and the games I like are on tha#bring some of these franchises back and I'll be interested#Astro Bot got my attention by showing me an Ape Escape cameo but you have to keep that attention by Making a New Ape Escape#playstation#sony
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The Until Dawn movie seems like it has a really cool idea. However, I'm still really baffled and confused as to why it's branded Until Dawn when it appears to have literally nothing to do with the game.
All they're doing is pissing off fans of the game by making an unrelated film.
Because I'm literally looking at this film and being like "okay it looks kinda cool but why it is called Until Dawn?"
Also... The Dark Pictures is the Supermassive anthology where the genre changes every time and the characters being stuck in an unending cycle is part of the narrative - not Until Dawn. Aside from it being the bigger and more popular Supermassive game, I'm not seeing a single reason this movie is Until Dawn and not a Dark Pictures game (psst, i know why - it's cause Sony owns Until Dawn but not The Dark Pictures)
#literally i would've been more accepting of this presmise as a dead by daylight movie#because at least the changing genres and coming back from the dead makes sense there#it sounds like a cool idea and i'll probably watch it#but this objectively isn't until dawn#like you can't keep the logo exactly the same with the snow in the background#if the movie isn't set somewhere snowy#bringing peter stormare back is just making people remember more that this is different#also how this is going to be a continuation in anyway is beyond me#but seriously i don't understand why they would make a more just ripe to piss people off before they even watch the film
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nothing like a late night homemade funnel cake with the boys!
#lol#I have been craving funnel cakes for a while#But the recipe I use was pretty bad since I had to use more milk and sugar#I'll have to keep looking for the right recipe but this still turned out great#especially with a nice sift of powdered sugar on top#mm mm mm#brings back nice memories of when I was at the carnival years ago#I REALLY NEED TO GO TO ONE#someday#anyways#rambles#welcome home#barnaby b beagle#barnaby plush#barnaby b beagle plush#wally darling#wally plush#wally darling plush#cooking?#baking?#funnel cake
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i mean while we’re on the topic of vampy jake… might as well share these yk.
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peak vampire jake.
I- um... lord save me now... 🫠🫠
#i woul like to start with...#those pictures will literally kill me every time i see them#like the hair#the blue eye contacts??#the lip ring??#the outfit?!?!#like HELLO#but also#like this give vampy prince vibes#vampy prince jake dying to have something of his own#bc his brothers tend to hog everything#then he runs into you in the woods during a midnight scroll#and his instantly captivated by not only your beauty#but your smell#you smell so sweet and addicting that he knew he had to have you to himself#ofc when he brings you back his brothers instantly want a piece#but he gets possesive and keeps you close to him#though the ego boost hed get when you tell him that hes the only one you want...#he instanly start attacking you in heated kisses becoming quite literally addicted#and boy once you let him get a taste of your blood you arent gonna be going anywhere#not that youd want to anyways#and I need it writen out or i'll die#thewayivebeenitchingtowriteavampyenhafictoo#you've got me goin down a rabbit hole#alvojake answers#kay talks ☕#my mooties 🫶#✮stella
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Since I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance to properly touch on this in a fic because it's more character analysis than something I can properly include in dialogue/exposition without it being very awkwardly out of place and telling not showing, I figured I'd just dump it here. It's something I think about a lot whenever I write for post-Seed Destiny Athrun in a fic, because in so many ways, this is actually something of a non-magical "Ideal (Fake) Reality" situation that Durandal very nearly succeeded in pulling off, but ultimately failed at because Durandal overplayed his hand and underestimated Athrun's loyalty to his friends Kira, who was pulling triple duty opposing Athrun because Kira himself didn't agree with what Athrun was doing, protecting Cagalli, and supporting Cagalli at a time when she was powerless.
It's a trope I very much love in magical/sci-fi settings because it says a lot about the character and the lengths they'll go to get what they want (the willingness and determination to take the longer, harder path to make the dream reality vs the instant gratification option even if it's fake), and also just gives me so much to work with when I write when it comes to character motivation/dialogue/actions.
I feel like a lot of this gets missed in all the memes that he's (somewhat deservedly) suddenly a part of after Seed Freedom, because while Seed Freedom Athrun is very self-assured and confident in his course of action, he definitely took a long hard road (with more downs than ups, in my opinion) between Seed and Seed Destiny to get there.
(Rest behind the cut because there's a reason Athrun Zala is my favorite Seed character, and not just because he's got a lovely voice - thank you Ishida-san for that - and is easy on the eyes.)
When Athrun re-enlists in ZAFT and "continues" his life again as himself, he's given a choice thanks to Durandal's string-pulling: Resume the life that was planned for him by his parents and PLANT (his "destined" life, if you will), or find his way back to the life that he's chosen for himself (with Cagalli and Orb).
If he chose his "old" life, he would've had it all - the glory of being a decorated war veteran, a post as a FAITH member (resuming the role he'd previously gotten thanks to his father), a "Lacus Clyne" for his fiance, and the honor of being the pilot of the Legend (while being something of a "legend" himself). Durandal saw to it Athrun would've seamlessly resumed that life to all external appearances, even if it would've been an absolute sham behind closed doors. Athrun might be a decorated war veteran, but that came with a lot of trauma and grief - trauma from having to fight and kill at such a young age, grief at being the one to survive when those he'd called friends die around him, plus all the unresolved emotional turmoil and grief of having never been able to properly resolve things with his father and his genocidal ideals (because Patrick Zala, too, was a man who never got over his grief at losing Lenore during the Bloody Valentine Incident, and only became the way he did because of that). He might've had a highly coveted position within FAITH, but that power would ultimately be in service to Durandal (a head of state Athrun alternates between wanting to agree with and being directly at odds against). Durandal needed more capable "Yes men" ace pilots like Shinn Asuka to spread and enforce his plans, not people capable of thinking for themselves like Athrun (at least, Athrun got there after Operation Angel Down). The "Lacus Clyne", is, of course, Meer under the best cosmetic surgery money could buy, but she is nothing like Lacus Athrun knows and cares for as a friend and whose cause he had once lent his power to (and would again at the end of the Second War).
And the Legend? It might fit Athrun in name only (in the sense that he's the "legendary pilot who helped end the first Earth-PLANT War) but the entire suit (even if it had an updated OS for the DRAGOON system) doesn't even play to Athrun's core strengths as a pilot. It's almost comedic how Durandal didn't even bother tailoring the Legend to Athrun - the Saviour is more Athrun's style both as a spiritual successor to the Aegis and weapons load out, yet it's coincidental that it would end up in Athrun's hands. There's no way Durandal could've known and planned for the Saviour to go to Athrun, but Durandal arguably had that time with the Legend. In the episode where both the Destiny and Legend are revealed, Durandal made a point of telling Shinn the Destiny was fine tuned to him, but neglects to tell Athrun much about the Legend beyond the DRAGOON system and the updated OS for it (the closest Athrun arguably ever came to a DRAGOON system was flying right past Kira and Rau's duel in front of Genesis at the end of Seed).
On the flip side of that, there's the life Athrun had chosen for himself after the first Earth-PLANT War. It's not an ideal life, not by any means - the fact he's essentially a powerless civilian with no means to reach for his ultimate goal chafes him to no end, especially when there's the ever-looming threat of Cagalli getting taken away from him due to circumstances neither of them want nor are able to deal with. Cagalli can't get out of the arranged marriage, Athrun as "Alex Dino" has no claim to power and as "Athrun Zala" would only invite larger scale international problems - even if Athrun himself has no political ties to PLANT, his family name says plenty. Athrun is patient, yes, but even his patience has a limit, and seemingly losing Cagalli to someone he doesn't respect and she doesn't love (in a reversal of Athrun's situation with Lacus and Kira) pushes him to action out of desperation. And while it puts him at odds with Kira and Cagalli (including lashing out at both of them when Cagalli finally breaks down and gives in and gets coerced into going through with the arranged marriage), it does also get him to realize that he's not the same person he was before the war - he's no longer capable of living that same life he had before, where he would fight where his country tells him because that's the fastest way to end the war. The easy (destined, if you will) option is no longer an acceptable choice for him, because it's not the one that ultimately leaves him fulfilled and truly happy with the one he loves in the end.
And it's this that ultimately brings him back to Cagalli and the (Infinite) Justice, metaphorically reclaiming his sense of justice (ha ha). He's always going to be looking for a cause to serve, and a just cause by his own terms, because he's dedicated far too much of his life serving in the military to just stop doing that and he's spent too much time around Lacus to just mindlessly follow whatever the higher ups say, anymore. So this leaves the only way forward: serve under a head of state whose ideals he can agree with, with the freedom of choice to act according to his own sense of justice, and to that end, there's only one choice for him - return to Orb and Cagalli.
#gundam seed destiny#athrun zala#asucaga#ish mostly because it's impossible for me to write an essay on athrun without mentioning his relationship with cagalli#i have so many thoughts about athrun#while i do find it amusing fandom perception of athrun went from indecisive chick magnet to cagalli's number 1 simp#there's more to him than that that's lost in the quagmire that is seed destiny#and it's all things i try to bring out or hint at when I write him#also the whole Durandal gives Athrun the Legend thing will never be not hilarious#dude has everything planned down to a T with the Destiny Plan and the best he can do is assign Athrun the Legend?#like talk about obvious I know you've betrayed me energy#i tried to keep this essay as focused as possible#even if i have a million thoughts running in my head like hamsters in a wheel because i've loved seed since i saw it back in 2003#okay i'm bordering on an essay in the tags too so i'll just shut up and post this now and ramble more later lol
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