#and i'd get too many bitches

[ensemblewives]

re: my last post

... also this now makes me completely unfuckable (as I should be) because imagine this: you're a normie, you see me, I have a phone case that's dedicated to 'green man', you're like "neat, a lot of people have cute anime man phonecases", you see my screen saver, it's Buck-Tick (this synergizes the unfuckable energy because the hottest thing a guy can do is listen to Bucktick...), and then because of this confusing counter-signals you agree to come hang out with me, but low and behold my university ipad is dedicated to 'ominous jester man' (Kozi), and then my computer is also dedicated to that same 'green man' (thank fuck no one sees my tumblr hm) anyways what i'm saying is that i'm hot but I have been putting up barriers to prevent others from wanting me.

[leverage-ot3]

you ever think about how harry was legitimately kidnapped by a strange group of thieves and then he just... stayed??? he was kidnapped by CRIMINALS and just sat there and decided, I think I find crime fun and I want a found family and just DECIDED TO ROLL WITH IT AND STAYED WITH THEM??? A GROUP OF STRANGERS THAT ROUTINELY BREAK THE LAW FOR FUN???

[novadreii]

netflix's the dragon prince: hey, we're here to ride the nostalgia wave from those of you who never emotionally recovered from avatar: the last airbender. we're gonna give you 7 seasons of a similar but insanely watered down formula depicting 4-5 different factions forced to work together for the fate of their world, while grappling with familiar moral quandaries such as:

growing up means not seeing things as black or white; they are actually shades of grey! every other theme in this show however, will contradict this. don't worry about it.

don't let the pain you endure turn you into a bitter old bitch. it's actually infinitely cooler of you to always, without fail, take the high road and be the Bigger Person.

since hatred and bitterness can't undo the wrongs committed against you, they are functionally useless emotions and you shouldn't have them. dummy.

we are all made up of Good and Bad, but only the actually Good Guys who tell the Bad parts of themselves to F off deserve to be happy.

retribution and revenge and violence are always Bad, and committed by Bad People only.

you can save everyone!

everyone is capable of change, they just gotta make the right Choices. Easy peezy.

everyone deserves to live, even killers.

also, there will be so many quips written into the dialogue that you'll risk breaking a tooth from cringing so hard. and lots of gay so we don't get shit from you all like the last time we had to bend over backwards to network TV LGBT restrictions. enjoy feeling good about being doormats, nerds!

[silverware-is-interesting]

Remember that time I mentioned that I needed to draw something other than Sgt Splosion?? (plus Guardener, my sona, and my ocs)

varying quality doodles of mostly sgt splosion

[snekdood]

if you think im mean about my sister a. shes abusive and rwinger and has been bullying my whole life in spite of my trying again and again at bidding for connection with here so atp idrc bc ive tried so hard with her and shes never changes and i just cant be assed but also b. you have no idea how much im holding back for her sake.

[queerofthedagger]

emerges crying screaming covered in blood from the fili tag: i love him a totally normal amount

[britneyshakespeare]

the middle school principal wants to hire me in a full-time position so bad.

and who can blame him? i'm that substitute 💅

[yiddishfisting]

found old captive prince discourse and man did i love it when other white queers would crawl out of the woodwork at any criticism to be like "YOU JUST HATE GAY PEOPLE AND KINK!!!" about the book that makes a romance out of enslaving a Black man

[cas---2y5]

making my gfs roommate a sim so i can kill her slowly in a healthy and acceptable way :)))))

[bunnyboy-juice]

sooo when are we gonna talk abt the way that fatphobia has srsly fucked up yalls perception of fatness to the point that a lot of yall r calling urselves fat when u really are just not skin and bones bc..... yikes.

[sysig]

Ughhhhhhh

[cheeseknives]

Got suggested today to "tape picture of your blorbo on the ceiling above your bed so you have reason open your eyes next morning" and for a good second I thought it was actually a very good idea

[iturmom]

i started a sourdough starter and i've been having so much fun with it!! pics under the cut ha i've never made bread on my own so it all looks a mess. it feels so cool to make all my food home made cause yesterday i made my own salsa and i also cooked some other stuff too and the sourdough cookies which are giving gourmet bitch so i just felt so good. and full!! anyway the bread is okay. it's definitely bread, so it's good! it doesn't taste at all like my grandma's sourdough tho, but i'm not surprised cause her starter smells completely different than mine! uh the plain one is hard and it didn't raise quite as much but i think i accidentally used a lil too much flour. the garlic italian seasoning one is the perfect texture tho!!

i included the picture of the salsa bc look at the size of that lime it was the same size as one of the oranges i have never seen one that big!!

[im-goin-mad]

thank you reverend kristin michael hayter for being with me every lore season while i'm crashing out

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

It never gets any fucking easier does it

[shotmrmiller]

wait wait because imagine being a normal OF creator or a cam girl, just a small name nobody who does it for the sole purpose of getting through college. you keep your face out of everything, nothing in the background of any video of yours is personal, like once you get your degree this entire account is getting deleted and it'll be a thing of the past. (not that you're ashamed or anything. we respect sex workers of all kinds here)

and you plan on doing a different kind of video: one of you fucking yourself with a new, much bigger toy. usually you keep to the rabbits and bullets but following your friends advice, you fucking yourself on a dildo wouldn't be terrible.

plus you need it, sweetheart. when was the last time you even had a date?

bitch. (affectionately)

and as soon as you walk into your usual sex store, you double take. there is no, NO, way that is pornstar!ghost's dick you've just spotted as a dildo.

he's been your favorite pornstar long before you even started this side hustle. who in their right mind can resist that beast of a man with the mask and the tattoos and the heaving thing that's between his legs--

you take it home immediately.

it's almost sad how stupid you fuck yourself on it, cunt split open and dripping onto the floorboard for the internet to see but in that moment, you don't give a fuck.

you don't remember how many times you come that night nor how many viewers you had watching your puffy lips swallow "ghost's" cock whole, but come morning, you notice your bank account and it is padded.

PADDED.

one particular tipper was incredibly generous and they even left a message.

i'd love to see you do that on the real thing.

yeah, me too.

(whoever that is becomes a loyal follower who tips regularly.)

*screaming at the thought of simon getting himself off at your video. hasn't come that hard in months and that says a lot since he's yknow, a pornstar.*