#and i’ve been away from my partner for like the whole weekend

[blushy-tigerrr]

i am. so deliriously sleepy today.

my weekend was so full of shows and hanging out with friends and it was an amazing time!!! however!!!

boy am i feeling the consequences of my actions right about now.

totally not thinking about snuggly gentle tickles whaaat

[clairenatural]

Dean doesn't like the word "boyfriend." He decides this the second time Cas says it–the first time it was new, shiny, exciting. The second time, he fights the urge to cringe.

It's not the "boy" part. It's not. It would have been, for a long time, but he's dug all that shit up and unpacked all the suitcases. They hold hands in public. They kiss goodbye in front of his coworkers at the garage.

It's just–not enough. Not nearly. Jack comes home from hanging out with his friends and fills Dean on the gossip and his boyfriend and her girlfriend and–that's not them. "Boyfriend" feels like a cheap mockery. Like how demons used to tease.

He's heard "partner." He's heard it from Sam, to Eileen, but he doesn't know how he can stomach it. He's said that word too many times. I'm Agent Tyler and this is my partner, Agent Perry. This is my partner, Agent Page. My partner, Agent Stills. All lies. Sam says he likes it, that he's making it mean something real. Besides, Eileen loves it.

Good for them, Dean thinks. It makes his skin crawl.

So he sticks with “boyfriend” and he shrugs off the funny urge to protest every time Cas says it. It makes him happy, and honestly, it’s not like he has an alternative.

It’s a Sunday when he realizes that somehow, Cas does. They’re at the farmer’s market, like Cas is every weekend, but Dean had picked up weekend shifts and missed the past few. Cas is excited the whole way there, telling Dean about how he’d manage to befriend the local honey vendor in his absence, how she’d invited him to a beginner’s apiarist group she helps run. They beeline (heh) to the honey booth as soon as they get there, and the woman--Judith? Janice?--smiles up at them both, hands Cas a jar of honey like she’d been expecting him, and says “Oh, this must be the husband! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Dean stares at Cas. Cas stares at the honey. Judith/Janice stares at both of them, smile fading as the silence goes on a beat too long. 

Dean clears his throat. “Uh, yeah. The husband, that’s me! Ha ha.” Beside him, Cas relaxes, just barely. In front of him, the woman breathes an audible sigh of relief. “Sorry,” Dean shifts. “Just didn’t, um. Realize I was such a hot topic.” 

The smile he gets is almost sympathetic. “Oh, only good things. Here,” she hands him a business card. “You should also come out to our meeting on Wednesday. Lots of people bring their partners.” She leans in, almost conspiratorial. “Beekeeping can be wonderful for couples.”

It’s at this point that Cas clears his throat and finally looks up from the honey in his hand, evidently giving up hope on escaping this conversation. “Thank you, Janet.” (oh. Janet.) “Dean works late on Wednesdays, but I’m very excited to see you all.” He’s pulling out money as he says this, apparently deciding to just go ahead and end the entire interaction. He hands her the bills, grabs Dean’s hand, and is already moving away from the booth by the time Janet calls “See you Wednesday!” after them.

Cas drags him all the way back to the car without stopping for tomatoes, or Sam's carrots, or the free-range eggs that are way too expensive but Cas buys anyway because you can taste when the hen is well cared-for, Dean (whatever that means). They slide into the car, still not talking, and sit in silence for several long seconds. Dean stares at Cas, who stares out the windshield at the parking lot.

"I can explain," Cas speaks, finally, right as Dean was about to open his mouth and say anything to break the silence.

Dean pauses. Can you? Cause I feel like I missed a few chapters, he thinks.

"I don't work late on Wednesdays," he says instead.

"Oh." Now it's Cas staring at Dean, and Dean staring out at the asphalt.

He turns the keys. He drives them home.

Later, making dinner, Dean rolls the word around in his head. Husband. He's making his husband pasta (It's missing the tomatoes. He's made more with less).

Husband doesn't feel like a costume, like an ill-fitting suit and scratchy tie. It doesn't feel like high school gossip, or a monster trying to hit him where it hurts. It settles in warm in his chest.

It's just the two of them that night, and they're eating in the comfortable silence of the bunker until Dean clears his throat and brings it up. "Why does Janet at the farmer's market think we're married?"

Cas pauses, fork of pasta halfway to his mouth. He puts the fork down and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad," Dean hurries to clarify. "It's just that there's usually, uh. Steps, you know. Like a whole....thing."

"I'm aware." Cas sighs. "She assumed, seeing us around - the first time I spoke to her without you, she asked where my husband was. And I..."

"You didn't correct her?"

"...No. I, um." Cas is looking down at his plate again. He picks up the fork, still half-full of pasta, then puts it back down again. "I didn't want to?" He says the end of the sentence like a question but looks back up at Dean and squints just a bit, and Dean knows he's watching for a reaction.

"Uh huh."

"It felt trivial."

"To tell her we're not married?"

"To call you my boyfriend." For the first time, he stumbles over the word.

Dean blinks. "You--" he stops, brain processing too much information to finish that sentence. "Okay." He leans back in his chair. Sighs. Rubs a hand across his eyes and lets it drag down his face. "Okay, listen. I don't like boyfriend either, but we gotta...talk about it."

"We are talking about it. You don't like it either?" Cas leans forward as Dean slumps back, following him across the table.

Dean snorts. "No, man." He shakes his head. "It's been a decade. I've seen you die." Six times. But who's counting.

"I agree." Cas pauses, and then, as if it's the most natural conclusion in the world, "Will you marry me?"

Dean actually laughs at this. "You're asking me that now?"

Cas quirks an eyebrow at him. "I've grown quite fond of calling you my husband at the farmer's market. I'd like to continue."

Dean stares at him in disbelief. It's not how he'd pictured it going, but he also can't think of it going any other way. Slowly, he nods. "Yeah, okay. Let's be husbands."

Across the table, Cas grins at him.

"But we're getting rings," Dean points a finger at him, because something about this is going to be normal.

"If you'd like. Although I already told Janet that you can't wear a ring because of your work at the garage, and I don't wear mine in solidarity."

"Rings," Dean insists, and decides to overlook the rest of that sentence. For now. He stabs his fork into a pile of the pasta. "And let me stop for the damn tomatoes next time."

They get rings and wear them on chains around their necks. Cas puts a beehive on the hill, and there's a small ceremony in the summer - a "vow renewal" to Cas' beekeeping group, who all receive invites attached to little jars of honey. Janet gets the nicest one.

[gh0stsp1d3r]

I have an idea for a tangerine x fem!reader, i was thinking a Mr and Mrs smith idea. So reader is married to tan and is also a contact killer/assassin but he doesn’t know this until he finds her on the train holding the briefcase

Then yanno the usual sexual tension and witty remarks 🤩

Thank youuuu

Unexpected

THE MR AND MRS SMITH REFRENVE IS EVEN MORE FUNNY WHEN YOU KNOW THAT BRAD PITT PLAYED JOHN LMFAOO

Tangerine tried his best to keep his job away from you, it was hard but he did it.

You also tried to keep your job away from him, you both usually called and sometimes maybe on a weekend if you both weren’t busy.

You both lived busy lives, sure. But you still found time for each other, and still loved each other very much.

So it was very, extremely unexpected to see each other on the train.

You and your partner Ladybug walked around.

You noticed someone, and recognized him. As you guys were about to leave the train, A familiar face stopped you.

You both quickly ran onto the train.

“That’s my husbands brother!” You whispered.

“What? He shot me, like.. twice!” He whisper yelled back, and you both quickly ran away.

“So, let me get this straight, your husbands brother is just coincidentally on this train, and he’s also a contract killer. What the fuck does your husband do?”

“He said he just works in an office job!”

“So uh, you can’t really like freak out or anything because this is just a guess, but I’m pretty sure that he and his brother were the two who did that one Bolivia job.”

“You mean the one where they wiped out the white deaths crew?”

“Yeah..”

“Oh my god. I’ve been lied to my whole marriage.”

“Technically you’ve been lying too. Y’Know it would really help to process this-“

“Shut up!” You said, and pushed ladybug aside as you saw your husband walking towards you both.

“Right, right, sorry.” He said as you both hid.

“He doesn’t know. Holy shit. Holy shit. I’m about to be divorced.”

“No you won’t. Just talk it out-“ he hid in a storage area. You flicked him off and hid against a wall, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He walked in, and he immediately saw you. It wasn’t exactly subtle.

He said your name, confused. You opened your eyes.

“Ta-da…” you said.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Work trip.”

“Me too.”

You both stared in silence as his phone rang. He answered it, still looking at you. You couldn’t hear what the other guy was saying.

After he hung up, he put his phone back in his pocket.

“I’m glad to see you, I haven’t seen you in a few days. But… seriously, what are you doing here?” He cleared his throat after a while.

“Like you said, work trip.”

He narrowed his eyes, and ladybug swore he could cut the tension with a knife. He felt as if he was watching some weird romantic action movie.

“Right, well, you should probably get off next stop. Lotta traffic after next stop…” he said.

You sighed and looked at ladybug for a second then back to him.

“I know you’re an assassin.” You said.

“Love, that is ridiculous-“ he said, way too quickly.

“Before you say anything- I am too. And I’m sorry for lying.”

“I’m not-“

“Seriously? You’re still lying?”

He felt guilty now.

“Fine. Yeah. I’m sorry for lying too.”

“So… you did the Bolivia job?”

“Yeah.”

You sighed, maybe he wouldn’t notice ladybug in the back.

“Well, uh, just- be careful, alright? We’ll talk when we get home.” You said.

“Yeah… you here for the case?” He asked.

“No. I came here to kill the wolf.” You lied.

“Alright.” He sighed, and fixed his mustache in the mirror, still not noticing ladybug.

“Love you.” He said, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek and leaving.

“Love you too.”

Ladybug groaned and moved. He stood in front of you now.

“Well, now we’re fucked.”

“Yup.”

“Y’Know, there was a lotta sexual tension there. It was so weird-“

“Shut it.”

“Yup, yup, sorry.”

[lunajay33]

Change

•🩰🎀🩷•

Summary: Y/n is a loner but loves ballet but her family doesn’t have enough money for her to dance at the studio, Daryl is a redneck who hates people and prefers bikes, until one day these two run into eachother and their lives change drastically, will Daryl toughen her up? Will y/n soften Daryl? Or both? How will things go when people start coming back from the dead

Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x f!reader

A/n: This is going to be a series, it’s gonna start with how they met eachother and their lives before the apocalypse, eventually it’ll blend with twd story line!!

•Masterlist•

I’ve always wanted to dance, to strap on pretty pink ballet slippers and wear the tights and everything, ever since I was a little girl and first watch Swan Lake, watching how there was a light beautiful side but how also a dark side to a person it hooked me, but that dream was quickly crushed when my parents refused, saying they didn’t have enough money to put me in ballet because my older brothers football was more important and they couldn’t afford both at once

It’s always been like that, whatever my brother wanted he’d get within a reasonable price, but when I asked for the simplest things they would get mad and always turn me down, saying I should get a job if I ever wanted anything. So that’s exactly what I did, I got a waitressing job at the little diner in town, working after school and on weekends just hoping to be able to save enough for ballet classes, but balancing school and work everyday is exhausting and having a terrible home life ontop of that doesn’t help

My older coworker told me to make some friends and that might help things, help distract myself for a while and have a person to relay on for once but it wasn’t so simple, if you weren’t drop dead gorgeous, or had nice clothes and money in my school then the girls treated you like a ghost

So here I am sat at my usual bench under the wilting tree behind the school for lunch, sitting in the cafeteria all alone at a whole table felt pathetic, embarrasing, plus it was more comforting here, no pry judgemental eyes, plus the air out here smelt of fall, fallen crisp leaves, the towns forest right behind the school, it was comforting

I finished my lunch putting the book I was ready away in my bag and made my way back for my next class, biology and today we were getting a new seating arrangement, one I’ve been waiting for the whole month since I was sat next to one of the mean girls, I took my seat right as the bell rang

“Okay class today we are moving around, so find your spots” she said as she projected the new seating up on the board, I found my name at the second table to the back on the left, I made my way noticing I was sat with Daryl Dixon. He was quiet, usually kept to himself kind of like me, people would always talk bad about him but never dared say anything if his older brother was around, I remember the times my brother would complain about how obnoxious Merle Dixon was….as if he wasn’t the exact same

I plopped down next to him taking out my books and pencil case

“Hi”

“Hey” he said keeping his eyes on the table

That’s all we said to each other the whole period until the end of class

“Okay everyone, whoever you’re sitting with is now going to be your new lab partner, you’ll be working on this project together outside of class and it’ll be due at the end of next week, so I advise you figure out a time and place to work on this” she said as she handed out papers seeing it was a project on the cycle of frogs and their habitats

There was 10 minutes left in class for us to figure out how to get this project done, I turned in my seat looking at Daryl, up close I noticed he was actually kinda cute in a mysterious way

“Would you like to come to my house tomorrow so we can work on it?” I asked as tomorrow was Saturday

“Sure” I wrote down my address and gave it to him right when the bell rang

I was getting ready for Daryl to come over, I don’t know why I was so nervous maybe because I’ve never really had many people over and that my parents and brother were psychotic and mean and I didn’t want him to witness that. I looked in the mirror brushing out my hair that I’ve combed through a hundred times already, hoping my outfit was nice enough, a whiteish sweatshirt that had a hint of blush pink to it, paired with black leggings just wanting to be comfortable but hopefully still cute, that’s when I heard a knock at the door

“ILL GET IT!” I screamed not wanting anyone else to answer especially not my brother since he knew Daryl was Merle’s brother

I stood infront of the closed door huffing out a breath to calm my jitters, I opened it and there he stood, hands in pockets with his usual gruff demeanor

“Come in” I said stepping aside for him to come in

“Do you wanna work in my room?”

“Sure” he said as he kicked off his shoes

I lead the way to my room, it wasn’t a big house so it wasn’t like we had to go down hallways to get to my room, I closed the door when we got in as he dropped his notebook on my bed looking around my room which made me anxious, my walls had little framed photos of Swan Lake, little painting of ballet slippers, my room wasn’t much since my parents put so much into Jackson’s room but these photos were all I had to keep me happy

“Nice room” he said with a smirk

“You don’t have to lie” I said smiling as I crawled on my bed sitting up against the head board as he followed to sit at the foot of the bed

“I ain’t, it’s…..different, do ya dance?” He asked looking back to the pictures I adored

“No, I’ve always dreamed of it though”

He looked at me with a strange look I couldn’t read

“Well why don’t ya?”

“My parents won’t let me, said Jackson football is my important and will lead to something” I said shrugging my shoulders, if anyone could understand brother problems it would be him

His usual glaring eyes softened but I didn’t want the pity, I thought about my crushed dream enough I didn’t want to think about it more so I flipped open the text book to the section we needed and we got to work, it was silent for the most part and I welcomed it, until we took a break

“Merle says yer brother is always runnin his mouth, talks bad about ya” my heart thumped in my chest, Jackson could say anything about me and I’d have no way to deny it since no one really liked me and he had his whole football team full of guys who only thought with one thing

“What does he say?” I asked nervously

“Says yer a weirdo, says ya run around sleepin with every guy on his football team” my heart felt like it stopped and shrivelled up

“What……..I would never, I can’t believe he would say that, I don’t know why he hates me so much” I said as my bottom lip quivered try to control myself, not wanting to cry infront of him and make him uncomfortable

“Merle an I, we don’t believe ‘em……..plus it ain’t like everyone else in that damn school ain’t like that” he said looking back down at his note book, fidgeting with his pencil

“It would be better if I had friends that would believe me and be on my side” I said huffing a little sarcastic laugh

“I can be yer friend” he said so quietly I almost didn’t hear him

“You don’t have to pity me, I know you don’t like people” he looked back up at me with he glaring expression but for some reason it didn’t bother me

“I ain’t pitying ya, yer one of the few people that don’t annoy me at school, yer nice and keep to yer self” he said bluntly making my heart flutter

“Okay, I’d like to be friends then!” I said smiling as we both went back to work

After 2 hours of going back and forth working and talking we got the project done, I led him to the door standing there as he laced up his shoes, I opened the door as he stood back up

“So uhh, ya wanna hang out again tomorrow?” He asked gripping his backpack strap

“Sure, I have a shift at the diner in the morning but you can come by and we can eat there after I’m done, I get a discount!” I said excited

“Sounds good” he said about to leave before I stopped him

“Wait, here’s my number, it’s for my room phone so you can call anytime if you want” I said handing him a piece of paper with my number

“I’ll call ya later then, see ya” he said in his gruff voice as he left watching him disappear up the side walk

It was the next day and I was almost done my shift, I’d covered a lot of tables and was now just wiping down the counter waiting to see Daryl walk through the door, the door bell chimed and I looked up excited but instead it was Jackson and some of his football team members, they came in loud and obnoxious as usual

They came to the counter, filling three seats along the counter

“Jackson what are you doing here?” I asked putting down the rag I was using

“Oh come on sis we’re just hungry” he said sarcastically as his friends laughed with him

I sighed taking out my pad “well what do you wanted?”

“I wanna see you bent over my truck” his friend said, I was disgusted but I wasn’t good with this kind of thing

“Cute little thing like you mmmmm, what I wouldn’t do” his other friend said

I was beyond embarrased I just wish someone could help me, and as if my prayers were answered someone came in to intervene

“Leave er alone jackasses” I looked down to a seat further down the counter seeing it was Daryl, he must have just came in

“Oh ya and what’re you gonna do Dixon?”

“Just get outta here” he said sending a glare that could kill, they huffed and got up with a commotion

“Whatever, we’ll see you around bitch” they said to me before they left, I made my way to where Daryl was seated my face felt so hot

“Sorry you had to see that?” I said giving him a glass of water

“Do they do that often?”

“Ya usually when I’m working on the weekend, they think it’s funny”

“I can get Merle, set them straight” he said making me smile

“Nah it’s not your problem but thank you, I’m kinda use to it by now, even though it incredibly embarrassing” I said covering my cheeks

“Anyways, I’m done now so I’ll go clock out and be right back” I said trying to change the subject, I walked to the back taking of my waist apron and got my purse

“You done for the day sweetie?” My older coworker May asked

“Yeah, but me and my friend are going to have some lunch here”

Her eyes lit up “Friend? Did you finally manage to snatch someone up” she said twirling her pen as she smacked on her cherry gum she always had in her mouth

“Yes, he’s just easy to be around”

“HE?”

“Yes May my friend is a boy don’t get all crazy, but he’s waiting so I have to go before he thinks I left” I said blushing as I went back out and sat next to him at the counter

May took our orders and left to attend to the other few customers that were still here

“So why do ya work here?” He asked

“My parents said if I ever wanted anything I needed to get my own money, plus I’m trying to save to be able to afford ballet classes, it may be stupid but it’s my dream”

“It ain’t stupid, yer workin fer what ya want, I get that” his voice was kind but the grumble to it made me tingle

“Thanks, do you work anywhere?” I asked as May gave us our meals, my strawberry milkshake and grilled cheese, and Daryl’s coke with a burger and fries

“Sometimes I work on fixin people’s bikes ‘round town ta make some extra money, Merle said I’d make more if I did what he did but I don’t wanna fall into that crowd” I knew what Merle did, the whole town did

“Maybe one day we can get outta this town where people won’t judge us and we can have actual good jobs”

“Ya maybe”

With that we silently ate our food until we finished and May gave us our checks with my discount then we were leaving heading the door bell chime

We walked down to my house as neither of us had cars, until we stopped infront of the house awkwardly

“Lunch was nice, thanks for coming bye, you can come anytime”

“ ‘course, I’ll……I’ll see ya tomorrow then?”

“Ya I’ll see you tomorrow Daryl” I said smiling as we went separate ways, I closed the door to the house my heart thumping against my chest

I finally had a friend

Part.2

This will be a series so if you like to be added to the taglist and get notified of the next part comment below!!:)

Taglist: @deansapplepie

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Yandere diaries. || Toby x reader. A new (possible) series I got the idea to do of the creeps doing diaries showing them gradually becoming yandere.

3k words. CW: Yandere, adult content (mentions of arousal and references to masturbation), descriptions of violence and gore, unhealthy relationships, severe abuse, delusions, Toby slipping into insanity and also being an unhonest/unreliable narrator with how awful he’s being.

4/26/22 -

I met someone new today! We bumped into each other at a park I like to go to on Earth. They were so kind to me. We ended up getting ice cream together and exchanging numbers. I hope I can see them again soon.

5/11/22 -

I’ve been able to see them a couple more times. We’ve been messaging regularly, and have also called a couple of times. I’ve never felt so connected to someone so quickly before. We have a lot in common, and they don’t even mind any of my tics or odd quirks. We have a plan to meet up this weekend and go to the movies together, I’m really looking forward to it. I hope we continue to be friends with each other for a long time!

5/14/22 -

I just got home. We had such a fun time at the movies! We saw one of the more recent horror films together. They got scared partway through and clung onto me to feel better, and it made me feel really happy and protective over them. I wouldn’t mind seeing more horror movies with them in the future if it means that they’d do that again. We haven’t known each other very long, but I feel so connected and interested in them, I feel sparks every time they touch me. Is this what falling in love feels like?

6/21/22 -

I haven’t been able to see them for a few weeks because of our schedule differences. I feel like I’ve been excessively sad because of that. I just feel like my life is so much dimmer without them. I wanna go to the park with them again, eat ice cream, and curl up under a tree with them. I wish I could be with them every day.

7/29/22 -

We haven’t known each other for a very long time, but I’m certain they’re the person I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life. They make me the happiest I’ve ever felt, they understand me like nobody has ever understood me before, I just feel so carefree and excited in their presence. I think they might feel the same way about me too. I need to try my best to build up some courage and ask them to be my partner before someone else can.

8/11/22 -

I asked them on a date and they said yes!! I’ve never felt more excited than I am right now!! We’re going on our first date in a few days. I need to make sure I have a nice outfit to wear because I want to take them somewhere nice to eat, and then we’re gonna go for a walk together and stargaze. My life truly feels so complete and wonderful right now, I feel like I’m finally on a path to keep getting better with them in my life!

11/24/22 -

I haven’t been dating them very long, but I convinced Slender to allow me to invite them to Thanksgiving dinner. Normally we have to date our partners for a year, but I just know our relationship is going to work out, so I don’t feel the need to wait that long. They had so much fun meeting everyone, and they were happy the whole time. I felt a bit jealous that they didn’t pay as much attention to me, but that’s okay because there were so many new people they had to meet. I’m sure next time I invite them over they won’t pay anyone else any attention. I’m looking forward to having them over here more often!

12/14/22 -

I got into an argument with Jeff today. I had them over to visit me, and I stepped away for a minute to get us some snacks and Jeff so rudely decided to try and steal their attention from me. It isn’t fair! He was trying to make them laugh and hang out with him instead of me!! I got really angry and I started yelling at him, and he yelled back at me, claiming he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He’s not allowed to just walk up to them and act like they’re buddy-buddy. They’re my partner, and they’re here for me. Nobody else has the right to their attention but me.

12/25/22 -

I got to celebrate my first Christmas with them today. We spent a little bit of time downstairs with the others, but then I wanted to bring them upstairs to my room so we could be together alone. I gave them a bracelet with our names on it so that everyone would know they belonged to someone, and they seemed to like it. However, I got a bit upset at them. They said they had to go home so they could celebrate with their friends and family too, but aren’t I good enough? Aren’t I their family now? It doesn’t make any sense to me why they couldn’t just stay at the mansion, but I let them go. I’ll have a talk with them about this later.

1/24/23 -

We had another argument again. They have this friend that keeps overstepping his boundaries and I don’t appreciate it. He’s been hogging their attention recently and hanging out with them more and it’s seriously fucking pissing me off. They wouldn’t stop talking to him so I had to lie to them about him to finally get them to back off from him a bit. I wouldn’t normally want to do that, but it’s for their own good. Nobody should be hogging them away from me that much. Their friends are lucky I even allow them to talk with my dove at all. I think that’s what I’ll start calling them, now that I think about it. My sweet, soaring Dove.

2/17/23 -

I ended up getting into a fight with one of Dove’s friends. I was trying to make sure I could spend Valentine’s with Dove, but this friend wanted to be able to see them that day since he’s going on a trip soon or some other stupid excuse. It pissed me off. IM their boyfriend, that day is for US. I confronted him to get him to back off but he had the nerve to stand his ground. I had to beat the shit out of him to get him to understand his place. It’s been three days, and apparently, he hasn’t contacted them since. Good. One less pest I have to worry about. Dove was a little suspicious when I came home with torn-up knuckles that day, but I just told them it happened during training and they believed me. They even took the time and care to bandage me up. They really are so special to me. Nobody else can have them.

3/18/23 -

I’ve never really thought much about blood before. When it’s on myself or my victims, I’ve never really cared about it, I’ve actually usually thought it was gross, but it was different today. Dove got this gash when we were out on a hike from tripping and slicing their arm on a sharp rock. Normally the blood wouldn’t have bothered me, but it was just so pretty. The red spreading across their skin was just so alluring. Of course, I got them cleaned off and patched up as soon as I could, but my heart is racing just remembering it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope they get cut again soon. I have to confirm if this feeling inside me is real or just a one-off.

3/28/23 -

It wasn’t a one-off. We were cooking, and they were using one of our sharper knives. My curiosity got the better of me, and I “accidentally” bumped into them from behind. They ended up cutting themself, and their blood was just as alluring today, flowing freely out of their finger. I ended up putting their finger in my mouth to suck the blood off, and I’ve never tasted something so intoxicating before. They were a bit confused, but I just played it off and they let it go. Holy shit. I feel like I have to taste it again. I have to. The red on their skin, the metallic lingering taste in my mouth. It’s so addicting. It honestly made me a bit excited, I had to take a moment to myself so they wouldn’t notice.

4/16/23 -

I bit them. We were making out, and I just felt myself getting so worked up. I pinned them down on my mattress, and I started kissing down Dove’s neck. I couldn’t help it, my heart was beating so fast and I felt myself getting dizzy, and I bit them really hard. Their skin was so soft in my mouth, and blood started oozing out, running against my teeth and my tongue, and my lips, it was so warm and exciting, it felt like I was getting drunk. Dove didn’t like it though. They screamed and cried and begged me to stop, and I didn’t want to, but I did. I bandaged them up and apologized and feigned innocence. They said they wanted to go home early, so I took them to not get on their bad side anymore. I was so worked up though. I had to take care of myself when I got home, I was just so turned on. I have to do it again somehow. They won’t like it, but I have to. Nothing has ever felt so pleasing before.

4/29/23 -

I tried to bite them again, and they realized it wasn’t an accident this time. They yelled at me and hit me to get me off of them, and I hit them back much harder. They looked so broken and upset while they cried, but their tears and screams got me just as turned on as their blood did. The bruise that formed on their cheek was so beautiful. I held them close and apologized a whole bunch because I don’t want them to hate me. I cried a lot and I meant it. I promised I wouldn’t do it again, which I guess I didn’t mean. However, they can’t just disobey me like that. I need to try and be on my best behavior so they can be more relaxed around me. I can’t have them fighting back every time I want to do something to them.

5/09/23 -

I think my Dove needs to be caged. They’ve gotten so used to flying free that they need to be grounded and brought back to reality. I keep trying to limit their interactions with others because they keep poisoning my Dove against me, and Dove tried to fight me today. We got in a big yelling match, but I was able to calm myself down in the nick of time so that I didn’t make things worse. I got them to calm down, and we’re gonna have some space between us for a few weeks. I think I’m going to take this opportunity to my advantage.

5/30/23 -

While we haven’t been spending time together, I’ve been working hard. I found an old house in the Underworld for cheap, and I’ve been rebuilding it and fixing it up. I altered it to be able to hold Dove in without their escape, and I’m so excited about it. I’ve got a bedroom I’m setting up for them, and a nice kitchen because they’ve always liked cooking with me. I know Dove is going to love it so much when I bring them here in a few weeks. It’s going to be the best thing for us. Dove is too innocent about the world around them, and I have to be able to protect them. Nobody else can do a better job than I can.

6/08/23 -

[Parts of the entry have been torn. Words are smudged or crossed out and it is not completely legible, but some of it remains visible. *Full translation will be added at the end for those that use translators/text to speech.]

I CAN'T FU—— BELI— TH—!! DOVE WAS TRY— TO MOVE!! THEY W— TRYING TO LE—E ME!! THAT STU— BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TA— THEM F—M ME! WHEN ALL IVE ———— IS PROTECT TH— AND THIS IS —— REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BE— SO ANGRY!!!

Dove is FUCKING LU—Y I had the home re—y! If not, I wo—d’ve just thrown th— in the fucki— basement!!! [Redacted] got wh— they deser—. I be— the- so bad you —— —king recognize —. I’ll du— the bo— som—ere else.

7/06/23 -

Dove hasn’t been making things any easier. Since they last tried to move away things have been such a fucking pain in the ass. They were so scared when I locked them in here. I wanted it to be a warm welcome, where I’d bring them here voluntarily, but they had to go and ruin it because of [Redacted] sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. They tried to run away a few days ago, and I went to write about it but I was so fucking pissed I ripped the page to shreds. I had to break their ankles so that they wouldn’t be able to run again, least not for a long while. I’ve also been keeping them tied up more, but it’s easier now that they can’t walk. The bruises on their legs are just so beautiful. I think I might keep them like this, even though they cry every day from the pain and the circumstances, but their tears are beautiful as well. I have to get more painkillers soon for them.

10/18/23 -

It’s been a while since I’ve updated. Things have been going smoother lately. Every time Dove’s ankles start to heal, I’ve been breaking them again. I just can’t trust them because they tried to escape again. I’ve been enjoying myself a lot more. I can bite them and cut them and hit them whenever I want to. I can taste their blood and chew their skin and bruise their beautiful body however I like. Of course, sometimes it makes me sad when Dove gets so upset about it. I don’t know what to do. It gets me so turned on and riled up like nothing ever has before, but I also want them to love me. They haven’t been fighting back anymore, so I think they’re getting used to it. We’ll see.

12/25/23 -

It’s our second Christmas together. I got Dove a bunch of things they asked for since they’ve been so good. They seem to have given up hope of resisting me, and it’s made me so happy. They even made me a cake for Christmas, and it was so delicious. I’m so happy we can be together again like this, just a happy couple with no interruptions. It’s truly the best gift I could have received this year.

2/16/24 -

I’ve been letting Dove’s ankles and legs fully heal. They truly haven’t been trying anything, and they’ve been so devoted to being a good partner for me, I don’t think I need to break them anymore to teach them a lesson. They can nearly stand on their own now, and they seem so happy. They said it’s because they can hug me while standing, and that made me so happy to hear. We’ve started cooking together again. We’re becoming a happy family, and I’m so glad I was right that Dove is the one for me. They even let me bite them as much as I wanted today, and they let me scratch them too, they didn’t even cry out today. I could tell they were trying really hard, so it made me very happy.

4/25/24 -

Things have still been going well. Their legs have healed up perfectly. It’s been five months since I last broke them, and I think they’re so grateful for it. They don’t disobey me, they do everything I ask, they’re so affectionate and loving with me. It makes me so happy to know that they’re truly settling into life with me. I don’t think they mind how much I hurt them anymore. They don’t complain as much, but they still cry those same beautiful tears for me. I think they’re starting to enjoy it.

5/26/24 -

I have to go on an extended trip for a week soon because of work and I’m nervous. They said they’ll wait happily for me, but I’m still so, so nervous. However, earlier this month I was gone for a few days and they didn’t go anywhere. Dove actually welcomed me back happily. I think we’ll be okay. I think this is it, the true test. I know they’ll pass, but still, I can’t quiet the anxiety in my heart. I’ll have to spend as much time as possible with them and get out all my excitement before I have to leave. I’m going to miss the feeling of their skin beneath my fingers and teeth.

6/11/24 -

[This page has also been smeared and torn in anger. *Another fully corrected version will be at the bottom.]

I — FUCKING BE—VE THEY DI- TH— AG—!!! THEY R— AW—!! THE- STOL- SO MU— —IT FRO- ME!! THEY TO— THE MO—Y I HA- HIDDEN!!!! THE- TOOK FO— AN- CLO—— AN- LEFT!! I- SO FUCK—- ANGRY!!! I'LL K— THEM!!! I JUS- MIGH- FUCK— KIL- THEM!!! AT TH- VER- LEA— THEY— NEVE- WAL- AGAIN! WHEN I ———— NEVER ES— AGAIN! LOCKS, CA—S, CHA—S!! WHAT—— IT TAKES!!!!!!

Dove, you’d better pray to —y FUCKING DIETY in EXIST—— THAT I DON- FIN- —U!!! When I d-, you’re goin- to su——— much for do— th— to me.

--

6/08/23 -

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!! DOVE WAS TRYING TO MOVE!! THEY WERE TRYING TO LEAVE ME!! THAT STUPID BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TAKE THEM FROM ME! WHEN ALL IVE FUCKING DONE HERE IS PROTECT THEM AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY!!!

Dove is FUCKING LUCKY I had the home ready! If not, I would’ve just thrown them in the fucking basement!!! [Redacted] got what they deserved. I beat them so bad you can't even fucking recognize them. I’ll dump the body somewhere else.

6/11/24 -

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THEY DID THIS AGAIN!!! THEY RAN AWAY!! THEY STOLE SO MUCH SHIT FROM ME!! THEY TOOK THE MONEY I HAD HIDDEN!!!! THEY TOOK FOOD AND CLOTHES AND LEFT!! IM SO FUCKING ANGRY!!! I'LL KILL THEM!!! I JUST MIGHT FUCKING KILL THEM!!! AT THE VERY LEAST THEY'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN! WHEN I CATCH UP THEY WILL NEVER ESCAPE AGAIN! LOCKS, CAGES, CHAINS!! WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!!!

Dove, you’d better pray to every FUCKING DIETY in EXISTENCE THAT I DON'T FIND YOU!!! When I do, you’re going to suffer so much for doing this to me.

[passengerprincessblog]

“Breaking Point” ~ pt. 1 Lewis Hamilton x reader

Summary: In the world of high-speed races and Hollywood lights, F1 champion Lewis Hamilton and his girlfriend, Y/N, a rising actress, struggle to keep their love alive across continents. Their relationship is passionate and electric, but the constant distance and relentless schedules test their connection in ways they never imagined. When Y/N lands a major role that will keep her away from Lewis’s next four weekends, unresolved tensions come to a head. As old insecurities, jealousy, and career ambitions clash, they’re forced to confront the question: Can love survive when both partners are chasing their own dreams? Or will they find themselves drifting further apart?

WC: 1,000

Part 2 here

The email stares back at me from my phone screen, the words blurring slightly as I read it over for what feels like the hundredth time. My agent’s excitement practically jumps off the screen. It’s an amazing opportunity—a month-long shoot for a role I’ve wanted for ages. But the timing couldn’t be worse. Three races. I’ll miss four weekends with Lewis.

I look up, glancing around his driver’s room, the quiet hum of the paddock outside just barely audible through the walls. I can hear him in the distance, finishing up a media interview, and I know he’ll be here any moment. My heart pounds, a mix of excitement and anxiety twisting together. I hate feeling like this, like I have to brace myself for his reaction.

The door opens, and Lewis steps in, his eyes lighting up when he sees me waiting for him. He crosses the room quickly, a warm, familiar smile spreading across his face as he pulls me into his arms. I close my eyes, breathing in his scent, savoring the feeling of him, strong and steady, holding me close. For a brief moment, all my worries melt away.

“Hey, beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice soft and comforting.

“Hey,” I reply, looking up at him with a small smile, wishing I could just leave it at that. But the words are right there, pressing against my lips, refusing to stay silent. I pull back slightly, meeting his gaze. “We need to talk.”

His smile fades, replaced by a slight frown as he studies my face. “What’s wrong?”

I take a deep breath, steadying myself. “I got offered a new role. It’s… a big one, Lewis. But it means I’ll have to be in LA for a month. I won’t be able to come to the next few races.”

The words hang in the air, and I watch as his expression shifts, his eyes darkening just a bit. He lets go of me, taking a small step back, crossing his arms over his chest. “So… you’re taking it?” His tone is even, too even, like he’s holding something back.

I nod, feeling a flicker of guilt. “I haven’t signed anything yet, but… yes. It’s a really big opportunity, Lewis. I thought you’d understand.”

He lets out a small, humorless laugh, shaking his head. “Understand? Y/N, do you have any idea how often I miss you? How hard it is to keep doing this when you’re not there?”

“Of course I do,” I snap back, feeling the heat of my own frustration rising. “But you miss my things all the time. You’re gone more than anyone. And I support you. I never make you feel bad about it.”

He narrows his eyes, his jaw tight, and I can see the hurt flicker across his face before he tries to hide it. “Maybe… but I thought you’d talk to me about something like this before just deciding to take it.”

I pause, the weight of his words sinking in. “I didn’t just decide, Lewis. I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s something I need to do for myself. I want to chase my dreams, too.”

“But at what cost?” His voice is low, almost a whisper, and for a moment, he looks away, his gaze distant. “It feels like every time I turn around, you’re choosing something else over us.”

I shake my head, frustration and hurt mixing together in my chest. “That’s not fair. I’ve done everything I can to be here for you. But I can’t just put my whole life on hold.”

He clenches his jaw, his gaze hardening. “Maybe you’d rather be around someone who’s always there. Like Lando, for example.” He spits the words out, bitterness lacing his voice. “Seems like you two get along well enough. Liking each other’s posts, commenting… maybe you’d rather hang out with him.”

I feel a sharp sting, anger flaring up as I stare at him in disbelief. “Are you serious right now, Lewis? You’re really bringing Lando into this? He’s a friend. Nothing more.”

“Sure he is,” Lewis replies, his tone cold and distant. “Funny how you have time for all these little ‘friendships’ but not enough time to come to my races.”

My heart pounds, a mix of hurt and anger swirling inside me. “I can’t believe you’re saying this. You know how much you mean to me, Lewis. But I’m not gonna apologize for having my own life, for having friends and a career I care about.” I say, slightly annoyed.

He crosses his arms tighter, his expression unreadable, and for a moment, I think he might apologize, or at least try to meet me halfway. But instead, he just looks away, his voice cold and dismissive. “Do whatever you want, Y/N. You’re clearly going to, anyway.”

The words hit me like a slap, and I feel a lump forming in my throat. I stare at him, searching his face for any sign of the warmth and understanding that I know he’s capable of. But he’s shut down, the wall firmly in place, and I realize that he’s not going to budge on this. Not right now.

Without another word, I turn and head for the door, my heart heavy as I feel his cold gaze on my back. I hesitate for a moment, hoping he’ll call me back, that he’ll soften and try to work this out. But the silence stretches, and I know he won’t.

I open the door, stepping out into the busy paddock, the noise and bustle of the race around me a stark contrast to the emptiness I feel inside. I don’t look back as I walk away, forcing myself to keep moving, even though a part of me wants to run back and beg him to understand. But I won’t. Not this time.

As I leave, the weight of the argument lingers, unresolved and heavy, and I know that things between us have shifted, leaving a fracture that I’m not sure we’ll be able to repair.

———————————————-

Note: Let me know what you think and if you want more/ anything different!

💜

[shaunashipman]

Hi. We don’t know each other, but I follow all your 911 posts, and so far you’re one of the only people I follow who is approaching this bullshit breakup storyline with the same level of anger as I am lol. Everyone else I’ve seen just seems heartbroken, which is their right (and I am too tbh), but I have not yet seen the same level of rage from anyone else that I feel like this shit deserves. Because what the fuck was that. You mean to tell me this show lovingly built up this relationship with a decent amount of care and decorum, only to ruin it in one scene with a level of cruelty I have not seen in tv in a LONG time? Probably since my House Md days when they had him drive a car through Cuddy’s house after they broke up. Talk about a slap in the face. Like not only was it bad writing, it was just plain mean. There was practically no warning. Felt like starting to fall off the edge of a cliff, seeing someone next to you, reaching your hand out to them and watching them reach back, only to have them snatch it away at the last minute. Jesus Christ.

Also. Those comments by Oliver, who had been trying to ‘do right’ by the storyline (or whatever the fuck he thought he was doing) and bisexuality as a whole, were like kicking someone when they’re already on the floor. Maybe he didn’t mean them badly or didn’t realize how they sounded. I’ve already seen people saying that he can’t be biphobic because of everything else he’s said, or that they themselves as a bisexual didn’t find them biphobic. Idgaf. As a bisexual I found them biphobic. We are not a hive mind. What is offensive to some is not offensive to all. And maybe he isn’t actually biphobic. The man is cryptic and inscrutable at best and I don’t know him, so I can’t say anything definitely. What I DO know is that while he has said nice things about bisexuals, he has not really said a single nice thing about his bisexual storyline. He has also not said a SINGLE WORD OF DEFENSE of his SCENE PARTNER IN A MAJOR STORYLINE who had been receiving DEATH THREATS (and apparently any other love interest either, but those were before I started paying attention to this show so I have no first-hand knowledge and can’t speak to them.) The lack of tact is one thing, but to also lack a spine?? Hoo boy. I can’t defend that. He has no problem talking back when he or his friends are in the line of fire. Not speaking up at all, for anyone, even to be like ‘hey. They’re just doing their job and acting in a storyline that was written for them. It’s just a tv show’ is pretty cowardly tbh. And he can take his bullshit apology-that-wasn’t that he has ALREADY DELETED and shove it up his ass. I no longer care.

I doubt they will, but I hope their ratings tank for this honestly. The general audience probably isn’t as hurt by this and there won’t be any actual repercussions for this nightmare of television writing, but GOD I vindictively hope that something happens to show them that actions have consequences. Either way I’m done.

Thanks for opening your inbox to venting. Hope you have a good weekend while also continuing to be as mad about this as I am lol ☺️

I don't know how to get sad without getting angry. that's just who I am. my sad button and my rage button are connected.

this was exceptionally shitty writing. they foreshadowed nothing. they built up nothing. this came out of nowhere, in the show itself and in the actual episode.

and oliver is on my shit list forever. I will never watch another show by tim minear and I will never watch oliver in anything ever again. he can fade into obscurity when this show hopefully dies after this season, go back to britain and work in a cafe where he can also let his co-workers be abused by customers and not say anything.

I hope he deletes his insta just like his twitter. actually I hope he throws a little fit first, I hope he has a tantrum about all of the righteous anger he's seeing, and acts like even more of a cunt before deleting. really let everyone know he's a self-centered twatwaffle who can't handle ppl not kissing his ass.

after today's work I have a whole week off to be pissed, and I'm not censoring myself. the only shit I'm not putting on my blog are the violent thoughts I'm having towards oliver and tim, because despite this I'm still a decent human being.

[cheeriecherrymain]

For request 🥺 viktor and a nervous reader’s first time

An attempt was made! Again, kind of ran away with the prompt in my mouth and chewed it a bit until I was chased down and made to spit it out. Sorry

---

Viktor x fem!Reader (18+)

Content tags: first time together | oral (f and m receiving) | simp Viktor p much

---

-You had…kind of expected sex to just happen naturally in your relationship. You had expected that you’d go through each new milestone as they came, from holding hands, to a first date, to a first kiss.

-And for the most part, it had happened like that. Viktor had asked you out to coffee one evening, when he was frazzled from work and already a little jittery from his rather impressive (and detrimental) caffeine intake throughout the day. 

-You’d softly denied his suggestion, and quickly replaced it with something a little less…unhealthy. You invited him over for dinner, instead, offering to make something hearty and spiced, but easy on the stomach. He’d accepted, of course, and that night had been one filled with a whole bunch of firsts.

-But now, four months into your (official) partnership, he still had yet to touch you. Well, he touched you, yes - all the time, in fact. He always liked to have a hand on some part of your body, in the most innocent sense. You’d learned quite early on that physical affection was one of the silent ways he told you he cared for you. And that he trusted you.

-What you mean is that you hadn’t…

-He hadn’t…

-You haven’t had sex. Ever.

-Not only with him, but…in general. None of your past relationships had ever gotten to a point where you’d felt safe enough to open up about that sort of thing, or made you feel comfortable enough to bare yourself so openly. But you want that, with him.

-You’ve heard as many horror stories as you have pleasantries about the whole ordeal, ranging from pain and discomfort, to not being able to come, to muscle cramps and weird noises and knocking foreheads when you tried to-

-You take a deep breath, in a vain attempt to calm yourself down. You know it’s not always like that. You know that Viktor would never hurt you, or make you feel weird or unusual for something so trivial.

-You’ve heard good things about sex, too. The emotional intimacy it could achieve, on top of the physical pleasure - little giggles and feelings of elation. One of your friends had said she’d never really experienced good sex until she’d met her partner, and they’d actually talked about what they wanted. Openly and without judgment.

-You’re a little bit cranky that you’re probably going to have to be the one who brings the subject up with your boyfriend. You wish that you could just…fall into it, and talk about it afterwards, but realistically? It’s a conversation that needs to be had.

-You want him to know what you want.

-You want to know what he wants.

-So on a weekend, as the two of you sit comfortably at your tiny dining table, eating some kind of cheesy pasta dish that you don’t know the name of, you broach the subject.

- “What do you think about sex?” you ask him, during the first lull in your mutual chatter. You want to hit yourself, with how the question comes out, but you suppose there’s no going back now.

-Viktor nearly chokes for a second on a bite of food, his gaze snapping up to yours as a light dusting of pink begins to appear on his cheeks. “Pardon me?” he coughs, clearing his throat.

-You sigh.

- “I just…I want to know where we’re at,” you explain, setting your fork down. “Most people usually…do it within the first month of being together. And we’re on month four, so I- I just want to…check in, I guess?”

-You can feel your face beginning to heat up, as the mortification sets in. “I’m not saying that we have to have had sex by now,” you ramble, “I’m just talking about the statistical average! I mean, I’ve never even done it before, so it’s not like I have any frame of reference - I just thought! It’s a thing a lot of couples do, so maybe it would be a - a good idea to - talk. About it. About if that’s something you want.”

-You set your face in your hands with a groan, feeling the tips of your ears burn from the awkwardness of it all. You knew it was going to be uncomfortable and kind of weird to bring it up, but of all the ways you could have messed it up and stuck your foot in your mouth-

- “Is it something you want?” he asks suddenly, surprising you well enough that you crack your fingers apart to peer at him with a single eye. He’s flushed, as you expected him to be, but he doesn’t look particularly embarrassed. Not like you thought he would.

-You sigh again.

- “I…think so,” you admit, finally pulling your hands away from your face. “It’s like I said - I’ve never done it. I know I’m late to the party, but-”

-He reaches across the table then, all but throwing his fork down in lieu of reaching for you. Wrapping his hand tenderly around your own, in an attempt to comfort you.

- “There is no time limit on something like this,” he tells you. “If the moment has never felt right, then that’s…that’s okay. If you’re unsure about making our relationship more physical, then we don’t need to rush. There is no rule saying we have to do certain things at a certain time.”

-You carefully knit your digits around his, staring down at the little details on his hands. The angular curve of his fingers, long and slender and dextrous, along with the little moles and freckles and scars that dot across his pale skin. You’re rendered breathless for a brief moment, upon the realization that every part of him is stupidly attractive.

- “I want you,” you mumble, shyly avoiding eye contact. “The number of times I’ve thought about you during one of my ridiculously long showers is…too many to count. I guess I just. I dunno. I’m nervous. I don’t want to be bad at it, and I don’t want to mess something up, and I’m worried I won’t….”

-You sigh for a third time.

-Thankfully, Viktor has known you for a significant amount of time by now: he knows your moods and feelings, knows your little secrets and tells. He knows what you’re thinking about, just by looking at you. You don’t need to say so much out loud.

- “Nothing you could do could put me off of you,” he promises, as he rises from his seat. Keeping your hands entwined, he maneuvers his way over to stand in front of you, bringing your knuckles up to his lips once your knees knock against him.

- “If I’m being honest, I’ve been…quite horrendous about controlling myself around you,” he admits, without an ounce of shame. “Most nights, when I’m alone in the lab, I’ve taken myself in hand to the thought of you. The way your hair smelled that morning in bed, the way your lips are so warm on mine.”

-You swallow hard, as your stomach flutters wildly.

- “And then, of course, there are the things I don’t know,” the corner of his mouth quirks up at the edge, mischievous and playful. “I like to think about the way you’d taste on my tongue, how I could make you squirm. The pretty little sounds you’d make as I gave you pleasure. How divine you’d feel, wrapped around my cock.”

-You nearly stop breathing, the softest of whines falling past your lips.

-Viktor looks down at you like he knows exactly what he’s doing, like some kind of devilish, scheming man. Bringing his lips to the back of your hand again.

- “If it’s something you want, would you let me have you?” he asks, his gaze meeting yours. “Would you allow me to make you feel good tonight? And every other night you so please?”

-If you weren’t already sitting, you know for a fact that your legs would have given out beneath you.

-The second you nod, he leans down to kiss you. Sets his cane in the crook of his elbow, and takes your jaw in hand, pressing little circles into your skin with the tips of his fingers. It’s sweet as can be, warm and comforting like you’re used to, but with a sharp bite to it.

-Sharp, like the way he nips at your bottom lip.

- “As much as I would love to have you right here,” he murmurs, barely pulling away from you, “I would at least have our first night together be somewhere more fitting. I want to take my time with you.”

-And so, the two of you find your way to the bedroom, significantly slower than you usually would, stopping every couple of steps to mesh your mouths together. Or for him to find any exposed piece of skin he can, latching onto you to suck and bite little bruises.

-By the time you actually make it to your destination, you’re mostly divest of your clothes. Save for a soft undershirt and a pair of pastel panties. Viktor fares no better, his usual vest and tie dropped somewhere along your path, his shirt hanging open and his trousers halfway unbuttoned.

-You stop at the foot of the bed, and he comes up behind you, wasting no time in getting to feel you - feel the warmth and the gentle squish of your flesh beneath his fingers. The soft hairs across your body, your skin rising into goosebumps along every trail he makes.

-His breath, hot against the back of your neck, as he slowly slides the bottom of your shirt upwards. So slowly. 

-You appreciate that he’s giving you time to back out, should you so desire: that his touches are meandering and lazy, enough that you could stop him with ease. But you don’t want him to.

-You squirm where you stand, trying, hoping that he’ll understand what you’re hinting at. But the devious bastard only smiles, laying a smattering of kisses across your shoulders.

- “You’ll have to use your words, milý,” he mutters, toying with the edge of your shirt. “How can I know what you want, if you don’t tell me?”

-Your face feels like it’s on fire, embarrassed even though you know you have no reason to be. You trust Viktor, more than you’ve ever trusted anyone: you know he’s just being a tease.

- “Take it off,” you whine, and thankfully he doesn’t push you on it further, demands no more explanation.

-The next couple minutes are a total blur, wrought with new sensations and little thrills of pleasure. He settles you comfortably on your back, once you’re fully bare to him, and for a moment he just…stares. You wouldn’t exactly call it humiliating, not with the way his eyes darken with lust, but you’re certainly shy.

-He kisses a scalding path down your body, more tongue than anything else. Stopping for a few dozen seconds to pay attention to your chest, wrapping his lips around one puffy bud, sucking hard for a couple seconds before soothing the ache with the lave of his tongue.

-Until both your nipples are drawn into stiff peaks, and the soft of your skin is littered with the dull imprint of his teeth. 

-And then he continues his path downwards.

-Kneading the insides of your squishy thighs, he slowly coaxes you to open your legs, murmuring praises all the while. He’d done the favour of removing the last of his own clothing for you, not wanting to stress you out by demanding some kind of reaction from you.

-You’re grateful for it, in a sense, but you’re also desperate to get a peek at him. Hard and dripping, watching as a pearlescent drop beads at the tip of his cock the moment you open your legs for him. You whine quietly, when you finally get to see how you’re affecting him.

-He lays kiss after kiss all over your spread thighs, foregoing his earlier cheekiness for obvious and genuine care. Treating you sweetly, with the most gentle and loving hand that he possibly can.

-He wants this to be good for you.

-He needs this to be good for you.

- “Tell me, milý,”  he says lowly, “How far have you gone on your own? Have you touched yourself here?” he lowers his thumb to your clit, already already swollen and thick with your arousal, and begins rubbing slow patterns onto it.

-You mewl at the new sensation, not overly pleasurable, but the fact that he’s the one doing it makes it infinitely better.

- “Yes,” you breathe, fisting your hands into the sheets beneath you. “I - I’ve done that. Several times, in fact. S-sometimes out here, spread open like this, on my own. Other times…”

-He quirks a brow at you.

- “Other times,” you continue, “I…use the showerhead. Once or twice when you were staying over.”

-He groans, then, letting his eyes fall shut for a few moments while he lets his cheek come to rest on your thigh. You think for a second that you’ve somehow offended him, but he’s very quick to mitigate that worry. Bright honey eyes snapping open to nearly glare up at you with palpable desire, so strong you’re made breathless again.

- “To think, I could have tasted you weeks ago,” he sighs, almost sounding genuinely saddened. But it’s quick to pass, as he descends upon you with the hunger of a man starved.

-Licking a solid stripe up your drenched slit, drawing his tongue into a point near the end to flick it against your clit. Again and again, he repeats the motion, watching with rapt attention as his spit mixes with your sticky fluids, dripping down onto the bedsheets below.

-It’s not long before he changes his technique on you, startling a moan out of you when he wraps his lips around your puffy bud and sucks. He leaves you trembling, positively quaking, with his ministrations. You never thought that you’d ever be able to have an orgasm approach so quickly, but now, as he continues his onslaught of pleasure, even going so far as to dip his finger into your drenched hole, you can’t even find it in your heart to be embarrassed about it.

-He doesn’t stop touching you, doesn’t stop pumping his slender digit into you, doesn’t stop the movement of his tongue on your desperate slit. You know he can feel you squeezing around him - he’s got to. 

-But he never stops.

-He tenderly works you over the edge, groaning and sighing along with you as you find your high, nearly grinding against his face in an attempt to seek out more, more. Anything to prolong the pleasure.

-Until you’re rendered boneless beneath him, breathing hard while you wait for all the little stars in your vision to fade away. You barely even notice him removing his finger from you, popping it into his mouth to suck your juices off, as if it’s some kind of rare delicacy.

- “Holy shit,” you squeak, followed by an almost disbelieving giggle. You can’t help yourself - you don’t think you’ve ever had an orgasm quite like that before. Your own fingers were well enough, you supposed, and the showerhead was certainly intense, but…

- “You’ve ruined me, Viktor,” you laugh, smiling down at him with a dopey grin. “I’m never going to be able to get myself off after this - I’m only going to want you.”

-His brows rise by a fraction, a moment of disbelief immediately followed by his own self-satisfied smirk.

-You’re hardly shy after that, despite being unsure of what to do and where to put your hands, or of what might feel good. Your boyfriend, to give him credit, is a good teacher - guiding you through the motions of what he likes best, what makes him squirm, what makes him come.

- “It’s you,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Your touch, and your hand wrapped tightly around his drooling cock, your mouth wrapping around the blunt, flushed head, and your tongue sliding along his shaft to slick him up.

-And it’s you who lets him rut up into your grip, staring up at him with naught but adoration shining in your beautiful eyes.

-Like you, he’s neither embarrassed nor ashamed about how quickly he reaches his end, far too pleased by the fact that you’re finally touching him. That he’s finally gotten to see the gorgeous face you make when you come, and that’s he’s gotten a taste of your perfect pussy.

-He tries to warn you before he comes, but like he had earlier, you don’t pay him any mind. Until his release hits your waiting tongue, you continue to work him.

-Until he starts whining and batting at your hand, you work him.

-It doesn’t go much further than that, for the time being. The two of you carefully and tenderly cleaning each other up in the aftermath, sharing kisses and blissful little bouts of laughter, your hands never really leaving each other’s bodies. You have as much time as you desire, to figure everything out, and to learn.

-To discover new things about one another, and forge this new part of your relationship.

-Though let’s be honest, he does get a little handsy the following morning.

[bepisbee]

and now for your regularly scheduled random vidow au

featuring transgirl Vio and afab enby Shadow :) theyre dating your honor. i wanted to play with giving shadow a midwest accent. Think of them as like Wisconsin vs Cali for Lorule vs Hyrule respectivley. mostly writing practice for the accent and descirpters of character building (focusing mainly on shadow tbh)

Read on ao3

“You what?” The group paused at Zelda’s inquisition. They had this huge plan to set up their resident nerd with a date and it was backfiring horribly. A boy from another class, admittedly pretty cute, stood there awkwardly.

“I have a partner.” Vio repeated. “They go to Lorule, I’ve told you this before?” She looks incredibly annoyed.

“I- we…” She looked sheepish.

“We thought you were just saying that to get us off your back,” Blue scoffed, “The whole goes to another school excuse is overused.” he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, haha no. I am dating someone. We have been since middle school.” She uncrossed her arms and pulled a long chained necklace from her uniform blouse. It had a ring attached. “And considering we’re all graduating next week I’d say it’s still serious. And not fake.” she glared at Blue. “I’ve told you this. I met them when our family went to that resort years ago and left me to read in a corner in the kid section. They stole my book and I chased them up to the playground tubes and we stayed there for hours. They needed to search for us when it was bedtime and we refused to go to seperate rooms. We pranked the fuck out of all those kids the whole weekend.” She grinned, fondly remembering it.

“...” Zelda smacks Blue on the arm, “Are you kidding me!? You roped me into all this for nothing?” The boy snuck away while they argued. Poor dude.

“I still don’t believe you. Do you even have a photo?"

“None that I can show you without betraying their privacy trust.” Vio sighed, “We video call every night, I don’t really have their face in a photo.” Zelda giggled at the scandalous admission.

“No face photo?”

“! Sh-shut up.” she flushed. “None of your business.” Vio flipped them off. “Doesn’t matter. They’ll be here soon for the summer. They had their graduation already and wanted to spend time with me here. I was planning on going to Lorule for a while this summer too, so we can decide where we want to stay.”

“You’re moving!?” Blue didn’t like the implication. “With someone we don’t even know?”

“You would know them if you were ever listening to me.” Vio played with the ring. “We haven’t decided anything. We both have family and friends to consider and futures and shit. It’s an in person kind of conversation.”

“Well.” Zelda clears her throat. “I think we should have lunch sometime, and meet them.”

“That would be nice,” Vio is grateful for her speciality in neutrality and problem solving. Blue just grumbled.

He still thought Vio was lying. Until one day she brings someone back from the airport. He notices as he was walking over to bother her, Red in tow. Vio was taking some luggage out of the car trunk and someone with purple hair was investigating the scenery. The small stone brick cottage that someone’s great grandma once loved was in better shape inside than out. 

“It’s so… rustic.  And worn,” A soft voice commented. “Inna nice way, like when cats nap in a sunbeam. Or someone’s Granny makes pie.” they clarify. They step around to her side of the car. They were tall and lithe, grown into what was probably a lanky awkward puberty. They had stunning eyes, one red and one blue. Freckles scattered across their milk chocolate complexion. They looked like tiny stars. Fluffy medium length bright purple hair bounced as they walked. Two black rings of snake bites in their lips, and a ball in their tongue as they talked. A dangling earring in the shape of an eye indicating their relation to Sheikah at some point. 

They had a crop top with some metal band logo across it and shredded jeans with combat boots. The light purple happy trail under their navel surprised the two, showing the color was natural. “?” Shadow caught them staring slack jawed. “We have an audience darlin’.” they drawled.

Vio turned confused, raised her eyebrows up. She was in her cutest sweater with a dinosaur holding a cup with a straw and regular jeans and hair pinned up in a butterfly clip. She never wore her nice sweaters outside of home, let alone makeup. That was clearly significant, Blue frowns. Shadow would have been dolled up too, but flights and napping took priority.

“Uh, hey.” She shut the trunk of the small black car. “Good timing! Shadow, this is Red and Blue.”

“You actually weren’t fuckin’ with me? Yall have color names?” They smiled at them.

“They’re real?” Red and Blue exclaimed, Red way more excited in tone. She ran up and surprised them with a hug.

“Hello! Wow you smell nice! Are you Vio’s boy-girl-theyfriend? Partner?” Red wasn’t sure what term they preferred. “Gosh you’re pretty.”

“Partner. Yer sweet,” They chuckled, “You must be Red then?” They patted her head. “Nice ta meetcha.” Her eyes sparkled.

“I like them.” She decided and let go. “Lemme help!” she grabbed one of the carryon duffel bags. “Blue! Stop staring and come help!” she reprimanded.

“I- uh- whuh… ahem.” He took a bag too, mumbling about Vio being ridiculous. He was just embarrassed over being wrong.

“Sorry, we can’t really hang out much right now.” Vio led the way in, unlocking the door. She was so glad she had this shitty old house to rent, even if it was tiny and heated by a wood stove.“I’m sure Shadow needs some rest from the time difference and flying.” They didn’t protest either, the rest or Vio time was their goal. They helped bring in the bits and bags and set them in the living area. It was all open space, a living room with just enough room for a tv set, coffee table, loveseat, and cabinet. Across on the other side a kitchenette with stools at an island wrapped around and hanging cabinets. Vintage, but well cared for. The wood stove was cast iron and in near perfect condition.

They set their bags around the living space and Red dusted off her hands.

“Well make sure you text Zel! We have to have a lunch. And send a pic! She is going to lose her mind. You are super attractive.” She gushed, “Don’t mind Blue, he’s just mad he lost a bet.” She smacked his arm while he bristled. “Well go, enjoy your ‘nap’” Red pushed him out the door. “See you guys soon!”

“See ya, thanks for helpin’!” Shadow waves and turns to assess their girlfriend’s reaction. “They seem nice.”

“I’m glad Red likes you.” Vio admits, “Come rest with me? I saw that yawn, you can't hide from me, love.” She offered with a motion. They gladly took the offer. They explored Vio’s room before sliding their jeans off and laying on the big soft purple bed. It took up most of the room space. They both laid just looking at each other.

“...this is weird ta say considerin’ I talk to you everyday, but I missed you.” Shadow cupped her face, and kissed.

“Aw, love.” She sighs into it, no protest when that hand gets wandering under her sweater. Shadow freezes in realization.

“Have you not been wearin’ a bra this whole time??” Vio’s response was a cheeky grin. Shadow lifted the sweater up to admire the view. They whistled, “Well, damn! No wonder you feel soft. They’re so big now! I’m prouda you.” They squeezed one gently. “I did notice they were bouncin’ a lot, but I didn’ wanna be crude.”

“You are welcome to comment on my boobs anytime.” Vio laughed. “I worked hard to grow those.” Shadow hummed in agreement. She pulled out her phone and sat on their legs. “Photo for zel?” Shadow posed with one arm behind their head. She snapped and sent it off with a “Legally obligated hot partner pic”. They sent each other some questionable things sometimes. She was sure she wouldn’t mind the snap including her bent thighs and Shadow in their pretty black underpants. Zelda had seen more of her for opinions and advice than that. She turned it around first for approval.

“Mm. Hot.” They grabbed her thighs. “Ya know what’d be more hot darlin?”

Vio set down the phone, ready for the chaos. 

“No, why don’t you show me?’

Shadow woke up shivering, Vio not next to them anymore. They sat up, rubbing their eyes. “Mgh?”

“In the kitchen,” She called from the other room. A metal hinge creaked and shut the stove. They wandered out. Vio was heating the old gas oven, a large pot on top. A cutting board with vegi bits and ends sat on the counter. A few small containers and shakers filled with stuff. Shadow could burn cereal, they had no idea what was what but it looked fancy.

“Whatcha doin?” They yawned, walking to their smallest bag, unashamedly nude. Shadow dug in and pulled out a hygiene bag with toothpaste, a comb, and a few other things. They hummed and took a comfy outfit as well.

“Making soup, found the recipe online.” Vio got distracted watching Shadow’s bare legs and ass walk by. “Everyone’s coming over later…”

“Sounds fun,” Shadow carried their goods to the bathroom. “I’m gonna clean up, if you wanna join me?~” their eyebrows waggled up and down.

“Don’t tempt me,” She sighed, “I have to make sure this doesn’t burn.”

“Damn. You’re comin’ next time though!” Their double meaning is obvious. Shadow doesn’t shut the door anyway. Vio chewed on her lips before huffing. She set the gas on low and gave in, following Shadow. Hot water is already steaming the glass panes, slight fog from the temperature difference. They peeked over their shoulders, smirking. They knew she couldn’t resist. Vio joined them.

[laneysmusings]

Hello hello! I've recently acquired the Mike Logan brainrot and I LOVE the fics you've written and I ADORE your tags about him!!

SO. I was wondering if you maybe, possibly, hopefully were willing to share any headcanons you have of him? 👉👈 If not then just delete this ask!

Thank you muchly!

it’s my birthday today, and it’s been a terrible one at that, but this ask literally made my face light up. I feel gifted by you — I would be HAPPY to provide headcanons of this gargantuan idiot, this hunk of massive Catholic guilt, my emotional support beleaguered detective

₊˚.༄ Mike Logan Headcanons

₊˚✦ he’s like, an adequate cook? Most likely good at breakfast in the morning and maybe some basic dishes, self sufficient so he doesn’t solely live off of takeout (but it’s like a quarter of his diet). I can’t say he can’t cook because it’s just not realistic. Boy’s gotta’ eat, y’know?

₊˚✦ Mike has trash coffee taste, takes it straight with maybe some cream or a sugar packet but refuses to try other things like blended drinks, will drink a cappuccino or an americano but hates being in a Starbucks

₊˚✦ UNLESS he gets spoilt and used to better coffee but then he’s doomed and cursed to the shit coffee at work and complains even more than usual. Which is a lot.

₊˚✦ I’ve got a feeling that, with being super progressive in his views, he definitely was one of those police officers in the beginning that everyone was shocked by. This little stinker, a raucous trouble maker, an OFFICER? PUHLEASE

₊˚✦ he’s so quick to fight for one (scrappy more like) he’s just got no fit outlet, so work became his outlet (terrible decision really) — but he’s got such hyperactivity and restlessness, probably born from some childhood PTSD and ADHD/ADD, that it just gnaws at him and lets him get too caught up in his emotions

₊˚✦ the boy needs therapy + AND NOT WITH LIZ

₊˚✦ cuddle bug but doesn’t look like it immediately — like sure he’s probably got some weird stuff with intimacy beyond sex (I can do a WHOLE other set of headcanons about this man’s issues with intimacy, both sexual and non sexual)

₊˚✦ but literally a cuddle bug, he will YANK his partner back into bed. he’s a lazy weekend guy and stands by it — it’s when he catches up on sleep and gets to take his time. He doesn’t shave on weekends either so he gets the perfect “I know I’m hot but I make it look effortless” stubble which is damning. Like fuck.

₊˚✦ I think when he works out he does cardio and maybe weight training but not all too much? Like above the minimum since he’s required to like, apprehend people, run chase and whatnot — but he’s not living at the gym if you catch my drift

₊˚✦ snores. he fucking snores look at that man and tell me he doesn’t snore.

₊˚✦ gets nightmares but doesn’t cope well with them — or have much if any good coping mechanisms honestly. Maybe later in life he’ll adapt some better ones, but everything he’d recommend to others, he wouldn’t do for himself.

₊˚✦ definitely not a “decorate his place for the holidays” person unless his partner is, then he’ll play along and get some fun out of it, but I doubt he’s got a box of decorations tucked away in some closet.

₊˚✦ speaking of closets — this man, oh I swear to god, has owned the same damn ties for like, 12+ years. What magic is in that fabric because I know he’s too cheap to buy good quality shirts and ties, maybe decent suits but still like department store, Macy’s suits. Joseph A. Bank maybe? I’m doubtful on Brooks Brothers, like there’s blood and probably brain matter on them all but fuck it, NYC dry cleaning. There’s also mustard stains, canonically, on them. He’s a slob, someone get this man a tide pen.

₊˚✦ lol all I can see now is him trying to iron his clothes in his apartment with the whole board and iron in like, a tank and boxers and mid-calf socks as he gets ready before work. Oh Dick Wolf you had so much promise with this man.

₊˚✦ he definitely has played and probably would play in the police recreational baseball league, it’s mentioned in an episode and he’s passionate about the Yankees. I’m torn between him actually sporting baseball gear or if it’s really casual with jeans and jerseys and baseball caps. (Pls pls pls PLEASE)

₊˚✦ ooh I’m not sure when he changed it but he used to wear a gold crucifix, fuck my life, but stopped wearing it later on and I’m wondering if it’s due to him taking a bigger step away from Catholicism? Like he’s absolutely a lapsed Catholic with terrible experiences in both home and church, it makes sense for him to be conflicted if not repelled from religion. I’d like to think out of habit he may still go to holiday midnight masses, and sometimes on his own for the quiet and the near-anonymity.

₊˚✦ I’m thinking that leather coat of his he wears around all the time, even in the snow like a fucking moron, may have been a gift or one of his bigger purchases for himself. Like something he saved up for or found and just, let himself have the little luxury. Coats like that are expensive and high quality, he wears the same damn one nearly every episode in both the original series and when he was on criminal intent.

₊˚✦ it may just be me projecting, but I feel like he’s got a record collection. Probably some old record player and some nice speakers, milk crates full of records that he has to bend over to sort through, groaning about his back all the while. Definitely a lot of jazz standards and the greats like Sinatra, as he mentions in the series at some point, Martin, Baker, Fitzgerald, Armstrong, Cooke, Davis, etc plus some classic rock, stuff like the typical dad rock™️ — doesn’t peg me as a frequent flyer for concerts but goes for really good shows, he’s a medium venue person not the intimate ones but not the giant stadiums either. He likes Billy Joel but isn’t vocal about it.

₊˚✦ he’s got clutter in his place, a little too cramped but it makes it homey, not decorative but at least lived in. Things are more out in the open than put away, he’s more visual and muscle memory based than having things stored away.

₊˚✦ lastly, a massive sweet tooth. A snacker, keeps things in the drawer of his desk to munch on between meals. He’s got more snacks than ingredients to cook with in his home kitchen and I stand by that. He looks like he would enjoy pretzels a lot, like a lot. And other salty snacks, but definitely an ice cream, eat out the tub kinda’ guy. I’m betting Raspberry, Chocolate, or Strawberry. Maybe a chocolate fudge if he’s feeling a little wild.

Note: I’d literally be more than happy to expand on any of these if not write even more headcanons

[mapileonxputellas]

Newbie (Leila Ouahabi x Reader)

Sorry my writing will definitely be less frequent over the next few weeks! A little fic/ficlet for you all. Please send requests for any players (I also have a love for whole team fics) Request can be found here. 1.5k words.

You hated missing any international break, especially for something minor. In the final game before you were due to join the team for the November you managed to slightly strain your thigh, nothing serious but enough to force you to pull out of the upcoming matches.

Having just moved to Barcelona in the summer this was the first real break you were having since the week off you had between winning the Euro’s and moving to Spain. You were going to just rest up in your apartment when Patri and Claudia basically forced you to join them for a long weekend away with their extended group of friends, including most of the Spanish girls currently excluded from the national team.

All of that led you to sunbathing in the incredible villa they had rented out, not a care in the world with a vodka in one hand and your book in the other.

Just as you were dozing off there was a shout from the villa door. “Who’s ready to party?” You were of course aware of the party animal that was Leile Ouahabi having made the reverse move from her this summer.

Your eyes never once left the bronzed beauty in just her bikini as she went round saying hello to everyone.

“Hola, I’m Y/N.” You stood up when she got to you, placing a kiss on both of her cheeks. “You look great.”

“Lets not pretend I don’t know who you are, they practically worship you back in Manchester. I’m Leila.”

“Well Leila I can’t wait to show you my other skills.”

“Like what?”

You leaned in so only she could hear you, but that meant pressing your bodies together. You could almost sense her raised heartbeat as your bare skin touched one another’s, her breath fanning against your cheek. “Cocktail making, I make a great Sex On The Beach.”

“Maybe I should try it.”

“Maybe you should.”

You didn’t know what had come over you. It was always your one rule in football: don’t act on any feelings whether they’re your teammate or not. You’d seen the way failed relationships (and even just one-night lusts) had ruined friendships before and you never wanted to be the cause of that.

Having said that it didn’t stop you teasing Leila throughout the afternoon. Always choosing her as your partner in any ball games, stealing looks at her when you thought she wasn’t looking and it didn’t stop you bringing her in for an extra-long hug to celebrate winning the game when a simple handshake would have been enough.

“So how are you finding Barcelona?” Leile asked as you sunbathed together once everyone had settled down.

“I love the city, the people and lovely and the weather is much better than in England.”

“Tell me about it, I’ve just come from 5 days of rain. How is your Spanish?”

“Probably worse than your English.”

“Patri mentioned you’d just got a new tattoo.”

“You talking about me?”

The nervous look on her face just made your smirk even more, they’d definitely mentioned you were coming to her. “I was just telling her I wanted another tattoo and-“

“Do you want to see them?”

“If you want to.” Which obviously meant yes. You didn’t mind though, you loved showing off each and every one of the tattoos that were spread over your body. From the rose behind your ear to the football on your ankle.

  “You have to be lucky to see the last one.”

“Why? Where is it?”

“That’s for me to know and you to maybe find out.”

….

The group had decided to go for a meal and then clubbing on the first night, of course meaning there were varying times to get ready. You were noticeably one of the last to get ready along with Claudia, the two of you one of the last to go in to get ready.

That however left Leila free to question your teammates.

“Is she like that with everyone?” Leila questioned Mapi as the two waited for the rest of the group. “She’s very… forward?”

“She’s confident with everyone but not like she was with you. She was definitely flirting.”

“She wasn’t.”

“Fine then, Pat.” Mapi shouted over her fellow Barcelona teammate and one of your best friends at the club. “Tell her how obvious it was that Y/N was flirting.”

“She was definitely into you.”

“She’s hot.” Leila couldn’t help but admit the obvious. “Like stunning. She’s not like with anybody is she?”

“Not that I know of.” Patri answered. “She’s professional though, when she’s at training or before games she’s always really serious. It was only really on the first night out that she really opened up and became out friends.”

“So she never talks about a girlfriend or boyfriend?”

“She never really talks about anyone. No-one’s ever been with her family when she’s brought them to games.”

“Have fun. It’s only one weekend.” Mapi said. “If you don’t work then you never have to see each other again and if you do like her then see how it goes.”

“We’re not all like you Mapi, we don’t fall in love after one day.”

“Maybe, maybe not though.”

Their conversation was halted by the sound of heels clicking down the stairs, yourself and Claudia coming into view. You loved the footballing lifestyle but you also loved getting glam and that meant you’d taken this opportunity to put on your best dress. A wispy pink mini dress which just grazed the top of your thigh.

“Hola.” You greeted the group, quickly swiping Leila’s drink out of her hand and taking a sip from the straw. Your eyes never leaving her own as your lips were placed where her’s once was. “Thanks babe.”

“No-no worries.”

…..

Of course at the restaurant you chose the seat next to Leila, the two of you immediately engaging in conversation almost forgetting about the rest of your table.

“Did you move to Barcelona on your own?” Leila questioned you as you shared the sushi platter between you both.

“I did, of course having Keira and Lucy there helped but yeah just me.”

“I bet you have loads of visitors though.”

“I mean my parents and sisters have come out but no-one else.” Even though you’ve only just met her, you already felt comfortable in her presence, your arm coming to rest over the top of her chair as your fingertips glided over her shoulder.

“Do you miss home then, leaving everyone behind?”

You weren’t stupid, you could tell where she was going with this but you were going to make her work for it. “FaceTime is a great thing.”

“For everything?”

“Great for talking, I don’t know what you’re doing on FaceTime Leila but I don’t need to do anything else.”

“Maybe I can persuade you to do something else.” The Manchester City defender took your initiative, her hand sliding over to rest on your bare thigh. “You look incredible tonight by the way.”

“So do you.” You weren’t exactly lying, the crop top and shorts combo suited her. “There’s no-one else by the way. No girl, or guy, at home or in Barcelona.”

“That’s good.”

“Who for?”

“Me.”

As the night continued on the two of you seemed to be joined at the hip. Whether that was sat together in your table at the club to dancing together. If you were there you could guarantee Leila was less than a foot away. Your hand was a permanent fixture on her hip, her arm looping round your neck as you danced together.

Every inhibition you had couldn’t be further from you right now. Happily moving your body close to her own. Not a care in the world who was watching or where you were.

“Come with me.” You were surprised when she made the first, or final, move. Simply giving you that instruction and guiding you to the bathroom in the corner of the club, her hand clasped in your own as you made your way through the crowds.

“Where are you two going?” Mapi questioned as you moved past her.

“Nowhere.” You mumbled as Leila ignored the question, a speed to her step as she stopped for no-one. Her only goal to get you two alone.

You’d barely closed the door before her lips were on your own, cornering you against the counter as her lips assaulted your own. It was like she’d known you forever, her body insanely aware of your own needs as the two of you kissed. You’d never had a first kiss like this, a representation of your continuous flirting and connection throughout the night.

“How about I take you up on that cocktail offer? I hear you like a bit of Sex on the Beach,”

“Maybe then I’ll show you my final tattoo.”

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Sunflower: Book 1, Chapter 3

Tom Hiddleston x OFC Series rated: M Chapter warnings: drinking AN: Can you believe it? We're at chapter three! Three consistent weeks of Sunflower! That's like a posting record for the last three years! Look friends, I know a lot of us, me included, are in some pretty crazy weather right now. It's either super cold or super snowy or if you're really unlucky- both. Stay safe, stay warm

Masterlist Chapter 2 Chapter 4 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chapter 3

They sat in a corner booth of a small private restaurant. It was peaceful and empty. Places like this were frequented by locals primarily while the visitors would sleep in and wait for the brunch buffets, fast food joints and reservations for celebrity chiefs. Even on The Strip, locals had their places. 

They were in the weird in between time where Las Vegas was either still sleeping off the night before or had already gone to work, contributing even more to the isolated feeling that hung in the air. 

It was places like this that the resident celebrities could slip in and get some eggs and toast without any fuss. Places like this, Elton John or Celine Dion were just another local hiding from the flashing lights. Places like this embodied the vibe of the locals. The walls screamed, ‘Look, we all just live here’.

“Thank you again,” she picked at the airy sleeve around her wrist, “for the clothes.”

“It’s the least I can do for asking you to hear me out.”

“I- I know who you are.” She blurted out and his whole body stiffened. “I called Ashley- My sister- to cancel breakfast and she looked you up.”

“And?” He was cautious now, so different than the carefree charm that seemed to drip from his pores and that worried her. It was like the warmth had been sucked from the air around him in a instant. 

“You’re an actor. I- I’ve not seen anything you’ve done. I don’t really see much movies. Why me? Why just a normal girl? Don’t you have an actress girlfriend or something. Won’t insisting on trying to be married ruin your career or life or something?” Her insecurities were all the more raw knowing that not only did she drunk marry a hot man but a famous one at that. 

“Maybe that’s why.” The waiter refilled their coffees, interrupting the conversation though Tom was quick to thank him for the refill. “Maybe I need something normal. I’ve done the actress partner thing and it just- it’s too much attention. My ex, my last serious relationship- she got married this weekend.”

“So you drown your loneliness and marry a stranger?” She scoffed at him. “That’s not how anyone should solve their problems.” It was the Vegas way though. 

“Perhaps. But perhaps it’ll work out.” 

“What about your career?”

“It’ll be fine, I’m sure.” She wasn’t as sure as he was but really, what did she know?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His phone rang though he was quick to dismiss the call. “You have every reason to be worried but I can promise you, I’m not going to force you to do anything. One year- give us one year to see if this was a mistake or not.”

“Tom,”

“I know it’s probably not going to work out, most marriages don’t and we don’t even know each other. Let’s take the time to get to know each other though. Let’s see what happens. Let’s take our time. If it doesn't work out and we still don’t want to be together in a year, we split no fault, no questions.”

“So we play pretend?” 

“It won’t be pretend. We stay loyal to each other. We put in a honest effort. And if I ever make you feel unsafe or we fight too much, we pull the plug. I know I’m asking a lot-” The ringing of his phone interrupted him again. 

“Do you need to take it?” 

“No…” His answer was reluctant as the phone lit up once again with another call. 

“You sure?” 

He sighed. “I Should. Here,” He handed her a few twenties from his wallet. “That should be enough for the bill and tip. If you wouldn’t mind? I’ll try to be quick but…”

“It’s fine.” She wove him away. Was this her first act as his wife? It felt surreal. “Tom?” 

He turned to her, phone halfway to his ear. “Yeah?” 

“I think this is a dumb idea but, okay.” 

His face lit up in a smile. “Okay.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is Tom.” 

“Do not ‘This is Tom’ me.” Luke was angry.

“What’s got your feathers ruffled?” Playing dumb was always a good move with Luke. It’s far better to admit nothing until he knows exactly why Luke is mad at him this time. Tom had learned the hard way that if he started talking first, he was likely to admit to flirting with a interviewer when Luke was mad about a too high room service bill.

“Have you lost your bloody mind?” That wasn’t a good sign. 

“Is the correct answer ‘Yes’?”

“Damn right it is. You have ten seconds to explain to me why there are pictures of you kissing a brunette in a bar the same night Sophia got married. Go.”

“I’m human and allowed to kiss women, Luke.” Tom leaned against the side of the building, standing in the shade. 

It was quickly getting hot outside with the sun beating down. He wanted his sunglasses but they were back on the table.

“True. I’d rather you did it discreetly but that’s true. How about why there’s pictures of you with the same woman wearing a wedding gown. Tell me you crashed a wedding.”

“I crashed a wedding.” 

“You didn’t get married?”

“I got married.” 

“Oh thank god.” There were three heartbeats exactly, Tom had counted, between Luke’s reflexive answer and the realization hitting. “The fuck you did! You’re going to get it annulled, right?” 

“No, we’re not.”

“Have you lost your mind?” 

“That seems to be the question of the day.”

“Do you have any idea what this will do to your career? Your reputation?” Luke sighed. “I feel sick.” 

“It’ll be fine, I have faith in you. You can clean nearly anything up.” The door opened and Tom glanced over. She was beautiful even the morning after, with her hair in a lightly contained mess.

“This is a mistake.” Luke said as Tom watched her look around before catching sight of him. 

“Hopefully it’s the best mistake I’ve ever made,” Tom smiled as he disconnected Luke’s squawking as he pushed himself up off the wall.

“Here,” She held out the excess cash. He’d given her too much for the bill, even factoring a generous tip. Though he took it from her, he didn’t stop to count it before putting it in his pocket. “What now?”

“Well, if we’re going to give this a chance we should get to know each other. We can walk around, get to know each other? Do you want to stop by your room to get a change of shoes?” The started walking together back toward the hotel. It wasn’t far but her feet would quickly start hurting. 

“I don’t have a room. I’m a local.”

“Oh,” the silence was awkward. 

Two strangers stood in the bright sun of a waking city. They hardly knew anything about each other and yet they were husband and wife. The biggest adventure -or mistake- of their lives stretched out in the twelve months before them. 

For better or worse, they had taken their first steps down this path together, as partners. Their lives would forever be changed and shaped by the decision made this morning. With the path that took them to this point as unknown as the future, let us walk along side them as the Las Vegas sun beats down around us. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, why were you drinking by yourself?” Tom stood close to her. It was dark yet the Vegas heat radiated up off at the pavement. The shared a smoothie in a large cup. The alcohol was strong but she was having the time of her life.

“I work here. Why are you drinking alone in Las Vegas?” She danced in place to the music playing from the speakers as water spouts shot in the air, lit up in a rainbow of colors to the tune of the music.

“I’m not drinking alone, I’m drinking with a beautiful brunette.” It took two tries to catch her hand, but when he did, he spun her around just to see the smile that lit up her face.

~~~~~~~~~<3

Tag List: @winterisakillerr, @alexakeyloveloki @jennyggggrrr, @dangertoozmanykids101, @tilltheendwilliwrite @tinchentitri @wizardcherryblossom, @buttercupcookies-blog, @violethaze, @kats72

[atranswomansdiary]

Day 24

June 29, 2020

Today I discovered the true meaning of happiness.

I’ve never been a happy person. I don’t consider myself a cynical or bitter person, though, despite what my mom or some other people may think. I try to treat people as well as I can, even though I think I’ve had a difficult life. Not impossibly difficult, mind you, but not easy either.

Out of all my friends and former partners, for example, I’d say that I’ve had the most difficult life, at least in terms of socioeconomic obstacles—basically a permanent lack of money—which somehow never hindered my development in many senses. I had many saving graces, on other hand. My family is the most functional out of all those that I’ve come to know but, even then, that doesn’t mean that it was really all that functional.

I think that, in perspective, I’ve been dealing with depression since my early adolescence. There were many factors that contributed to it but, of the top of my head, the most relevant are: hard bullying since late middle school (and throughout high school), plus some bullying and isolation during primary school as well. My mother’s untreated depression and my father’s psychological abuse, mostly in the form of stonewalling, gaslighting, and angry outbursts. My general isolation, loneliness and, I must say, the general feeling that I was always misunderstood.

This last point I think bears some expansion. I don’t know how common this, but I often daydreamed as a child that this was not my “real” family. That I had been adopted or was from somewhere else (Faërie or even another planet) or some such contrivance, inspired no doubt by the stuff I read in novels and watched in soap operas.

As the years passed—and my innocence, slowly but surely faded away—I came to accept the reality of my existence. This was my life. This was my family. These were my mother and father. And, I don’t think I realized it until very recently, this was a huge disappointment for me that I never truly recovered from. This feeling had little to do with my family and everything to do with me. And, specifically, my body and, as I’ve come to realize, my gender.

Today I was bored and alone, enjoying the last day of a long weekend, and because of an ad on social media (I think), I ended up downloading an app which allows you, among other things, to generate an "opposite gender" version of a photo.

With trepidation, excitement, and a sudden nervousness that wasn’t there before, I downloaded the app, as well one of my latest photos. I don’t take (or allow others to take) many photos of myself.

I uploaded this months-old photo into the app. The whole process must have taken a few seconds at most, but it felt way longer. Like, impossibly long. It felt like Christmas when I was a kid, when I’d be so excited about getting presents that I’d get literally sick of waiting.

And then the final picture appeared and I was done for.

I was smiling and then laughing. I got out of bed and started pacing around the apartment with a joy that I hadn’t felt in… Weeks? Months? Years?

Maybe ever?

I really believe I cannot faithfully put into the words the sheer joy, the absolute and perfect happiness that overcame me in that moment. It must be so little, so minor to you, but it meant everything to me.

[Note from the future: In retrospect, this was probably the moment that I realized, perhaps on a subconscious level, that I was trans. Cis people don’t get this level of joy, I think, when they see a photo of themselves.]

There are things I need to clarify here, I think. First: the joy had little to do with me looking “good” and everything to do with feeling like this was the first time I identified with a picture of myself. It felt like every other photo was of someone else that I’ve come to accept a myself but that, deep inside, I know is not me.

A poorly modified picture of myself that shows what I could look like if I were a woman is the best gift I’ve ever received, the greatest source of genuine, unadulterated happiness I’ve encountered. And this being so small yet so significant is, for me, the greatest clue that there is something important underneath it. My instinct tells me that I need to pay attention to this. That I need to investigate this, to get to the bottom of it.

What started as mere imagination and daydream has turned into something more. It’s like an itch I can’t scratch, a seed that has taken root and is growing, fast and strong and untameable. I have a feeling that, no matter what I or anybody else tries, it will be impossible to uproot.

Still, this must remain my secret… At least for now. Maybe one day I’ll feel confident enough to share it with someone in the dark of the night. in whispers that are never acknowledged under the light of day.

Until then, with love,

ZZ

[blommp717]

While learning how everything is an illusion, this past weekend I learnt something dark about my boyfriend’s past that he hid from me.

Im still processing so now I’m confused and find it hard to be focusing my awareness on things that bring me more peace.

It’s like I want to be aware of ugly shit.

Anyway. I’m confused and I want to wake up again. I want peace. I want to feel loved and desired. And I can’t find the mental peace to become that.

I guess I’m asking for help? Or just needing to write this.

Anyway, thank you. You are the best.

Hello! I’ve been inactive these past few days but you guys are stacking my inbox 🤭🤭😭😭 (I LUV U GUYS) soooo I think ima respond now

So you did say “I guess I’m asking for help or just needing to write this” I’m not really sure what kind of help you want sooo pls maybe clarify in terms of what you’d like, however you also said you just want to recognize peace.

What I will say is, with the limited info (and that’s totally okay, please never share more than your comfortable with) if your partner is associated with dangerous or harmful behaviors that can affect you or goes against your morals, tread carefully and take care of yourself first 🫶.

Anyways moving forward, so these past few days I had been going through (and it’s fine I feel incredible now) some realllyyy dark “spiraling”. And after “coming out of it” I realized, (and this is just my opinion) truly everything is beautiful, to a certain degree of course, this entire experience is so interesting? The high highs and the low lows, the feelings the “self talk”, it all feels like a hurricane sometimes yet it’s completely nothing. I’m sorry if I’m not making that much sense but I’m finding it hard to put into words right now.

It’s okay to exist, just exist, recognize the emotions as what they inherently are, they can’t mean anything, they don’t actually have some kind of permanent affect. Waves if sensations cross the body on its own, a feeling, a thought, an idea, solely exists as those things on its own. A feeling without labels is just a thing. A sensation. A moment of “something” and ultimately nothing. It feels so complicated in the moment but inherently it’s so simple.

The source of it all is what all appears to be. Everything, everyone. So what’s there to run from? I truly understand how dominating it can feel, but if all is ground zero, at an equal, completely whole and one, why try to force a “better” feeling when we ultimately know, that’s not how it works. Fighting to feel better.

It feels hard as self, it feels like a journey and a task to the idea of self.

As wholeness and “ “, it’s just being. I think what’s pointed me back several times is, how would this experience be assessed or taken if this sense of me, this sense of self, was deleted, was pulled away from the equation. If there is no identity in any of this, who feels good or bad? Who gains or lacks, who worries or doubts. No one.

Recognize each moment that seems to be difficult with the understand that there is no self, just the appearance of it.

Also I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but I will, this doesn’t mean ignore your environment, please if your in genuine danger or in the vicinity of something that can harm you, PLSSSSSS don’t just sit there and go “there’s no self so I’m not being harassed or abused” 😭😭😭

Anyways, love you, take care 🌴☀️🫶

[strayshornystuff]

A Longing (Part 1/2)

It had been a long, but okay day at work, and I was looking forward to making some dinner and heading off to bed. I pulled into the lot under my apartment block, and strolled upstairs, trying to remember if I had some instant ramen and maybe some sweet soy sauce. Key in hand, slipping into the lock, the twist of the tumbler. The door swings open, and the smell rushes out to me, of Bolognese and garlic bread, freshly made. My stomach growls at the smell, but then I start to think to myself. How is there freshly cooked food when no one should be here?

A smiling face pokes around the corner of the kitchen entrance, one that’s quite familiar, one that belongs to the clown that is my partner.

“Hey beautiful,” they say, teasing my confused expression.

“What are you doing home? I thought your boss was demanding overtime?”

“The ‘urgent job’ got cancelled due to the client getting arrested,” they explained, “so we were allowed to go back home on normal hours. And I’ve missed you this week, its a little quiet when I get back, and you’re already a few dreams away from here.”

They came up to me and pulled me into a hug, which I returned for a moment, before they pulled away, and led me into the kitchen, where two heaped plates of pasta already awaited. They really knew me and my timing well, the food was still piping!

They giggled, “you look like it’s your birthday, you’re eyeballing the food so much!” I looked over, saw them reaching into the fridge, while they said that too me, and pulled out the cake I’d left them. They plucked comically the note from the top of the container, and read it out to me.

I wish your boss had let you have your birthday. Sorry I can’t be awake to wish it properly, but Happy Birthday. If you want, once your boss ends this whole overtime BS, we can spend a day on the weekend instead. Love you.

They looked back up at me with loving eyes, and with a smile, “I love you too, thanks for remembering me.” Their smile infected me, as I pulled them in close, and kissed them on the cheek. I had been worried about the loss of their day, and felt guilty about not being able to do more, but now that the stars had aligned, giving them the opportunity to come home and have dinner, giving me the opportunity to spend time with them to make them feel special, a tear came to my eye from the mixture of gratitude and joy. They gripped me back, as we felt each others warmth, as I felt their heartbeat through their breast, as I breathed in the smell that had been missing from my bed as I drifted to sleep, as my stomach growled for a second time?

They laughed, and poked my belly, scolding sarcastically, “We were having a moment thank you very much!” I laughed, before grabbing my plate and sitting down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter. Twirling my first bite, I look up and state the obvious. “You’re still super beautiful, and like, lively, even after all this work. How do you keep it up?”

They’ve already gotten two bites into their spaghetti, and reply just before shoving in a third. “Sleeping on breaks. Means I can keep going like nothing was wrong, except my sleep schedule gets a little messed up.”

“No wonder you’re so hungry then!”

“Says the one with the tummy rumbles~” They tease back.

“Alright,” I pipe up, not about to let them win easily, “If you have so much energy, then fight me.”

They make eye contact, head cocked slightly, an eyebrow raised, a smile creeping. “Fight you?”

“If you can get me on the ground, and keep me there, I’ll let you be the boss. Do what ever you want to me. But if I have more energy, am more awake, and manage to get you down, I win. Consider it a battle for your first birthday present~.”

“…Let me finish eating first, then I’ll let you know whether I accept.” Brain in their stomach, as always. The way I first won them over was with food after all.

“…Alright, sure. I can wait.”

And we both started to eat our food quickly, eager for the night that would ensue.

Hi y’all! I hope you like this first part, even if there is a distinct lack of actual sex that you’ve most likely come to expect from this blog. However, who would you, the audience, like to win? Please enter answers in the poll! If there is any tips for my writing, I’m all ears!

[c0ffee-and-ice]

i was struggling with intake that was too high for a bit but i’ve slowly been decreasing my intake every day! it’s going good so far. i have a game of taking 100cal off every day. it’s been a stuggle to hide it from my partner (we both love sharing dinner together every day - it’s a great time to talk but not good for my goals at allllll), but i’ve been giving my snacks away which has helped a lot!! so i’m gonna start logging here (when i remember lol) to keep me accountable for decreasing by 100 per day until i guess i can’t anymore? i feel like 300-500 is a nice goal to maintain at for a while then maybe ill go lower again after? i’ll go as long as i can. i’m supposed to go on a trip this weekend so i don’t know how i will hide it there but i will try!!

words of support and encouragement as well as any advice and tips are much appreciated🧚‍♂️✨

accountability log below the break:

last week - avg ~1100 total cal per day which obviously needed work. i was also sick at the end of last week and couldn’t keep up with my exercise routine. but now i’m back at it and i’m doing a little better every day🫶

this week i’ve been better! here’s evidence of my game workingggg:

monday - 1172 cal (limit was 1200)

tuesday - 1094 cal (limit was 1100)

wednesday - 942 cal (limit was 1000)

thursday - 613 cal (limit was 900) - i’m so happyyy!!! i didn’t have to eat w my partner today which really helped me keep the cals down!! i will have to work on figuring out ways to hide my restricting at mealtimes w him bcs obvs this helps a whole lot (pls share tips if you have them!!)

friday - limit will be 800:)