#and i’m just over here feeling like the stick figure violence meme

[snowonthebeachmp3]

going through taylor’s 2015 press really is just like you’re vibing and then suddenly you feel like you’ve been kicked in the gut huh

[1ore]

Now that I have internet i can spring this on you from the ask meme C:< (edited the wording on it for my own personal clarity LOL) 23. Introduce an OC that has changed a lot from your first draft of them

Oh man. Okay here's a long one because I’m going and going and going and g

Old Mora has the funniest visual development I think, just because she’s as old as Moribund itself is, and you can tell just how badly I struggle to nail down her design. I think I’ve finally gotten the challenging bits out of the way, but I need to draw her more to get everything else in order.

In Moribund, there’s this concept of the world being birthed and given motion by the interplay of two ur-beasts, an osprey and a snake. It’s not technically correct to say that Old Mora is the definitive osprey, but she rhymes with it, if that makes Any sense at all. So designing her is kind of like designing that in terms of “need to be getting it right”

In her earliest drafts (early ~2014 above) she looked a lot like the ur-snake, funny enough. The defining features of her face came to me all at once, like it should be impossible to tell which side is up and which is down, she should have a jowl window that doubles as an eye, a throat that doubles as an iris, streaming light-tears that are like threads in the eye of the needle, an arrow-shaped beak, etc. And I was really attached to this specific face for a long time, but the rest of her body wasn't coming to me.

like this is very cool but this is not my beautiful wife. (also 2014)

At some point, I went in the fucked up handbird direction, and I stayed there for a longo time too.

These wyvern-y ones are from 2014 as well. I remember the bottom one being kind of a bolt of inspiration re: uncanny feethands and winghands, but looking back she does just look like Smooth Lugia here.

2014/2015 was when Moribund started to find its way in terms of like, cohesive vision and feel of the world, (and also just me as a visual artist finding my way to drawing what I really liked to draw) and I think one of those growing pains was Mora moving from slippery handdragon to giant death bird.

Then I finally knocked the silly beak horns off her face.

Then in 2015 Iuhhhhhhh

violence magenta and indigo blue became morb (TM) blue-black and red. her beak is extremely funny here. you can tell i was struggling so bad, but I forgive her. I still like this piece.

she kind of middles around here for a while. She is pretty much quadruped for all of these; I experiment with making her handwings into seperately-motile coverts and primaries.

During this time I am so very concerned with wings and with the launching power of birds vs. pterosaurs and with figuring out a quadruped Mora.

Long story short: Birds can only get so big, because there’s a tradeoff between having more wing muscle and having more leg muscle. Your legs aren’t what you use to fly, so as they get bigger, they’re better for launching but heavier and more unwieldy while flying. If you get more wing muscle to compensate for carrying them, then that means you are now heavier and need more leg muscle to initially get you in the air. Eventually, you hit a ceiling where you either can’t launch, because you don’t have enough power out back, or you can’t fly, because the clap of your asscheeks keeps alerting the gravity. But pterosaurs can get Absolutely Ginormous because their wing muscles are also their launching muscles and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

and then I get over it, because I like birds and mora looks cute but kind of dorky on all fours. (^ 2016)

(2018 ^) She’s allowed to get more organic over time. At some point I ditch the feethands completely, but I still choose to struggle with her beak teeth.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. that’s a design issue I had with her from day one. Drawing Mora from the front was a logistical nightmare because she’s so... shape (^ 2018)

I flirt with giving her perforated nostrils and making her more condor-like. (^2019)

doesn’t seem to stick. im still not giving up her beak teeth, but they’re still causing me problems. I want to go back and fix this piece actually, because it’s so recent but she looks sooooo dorky here. (^2021)

From here I think her most important additions are a.) extremely big feather boots and b.) moving the beak teeth up to her jowls. which fixes everything, for some reason

she's been one of those design journeys where a lot of the ideas were cool in isolation, but had to be abandoned because they just weren't serving the actual character that she is: a really big death bird who is also, like, just a woman.

now i just have to make good on drawing her more. and not at two in the morning. waw.

[goodvibesandmemes]

VIDEO GAME MEMES: “Mass Effect 3” (2012) Vol 3 🌌💫🪐 ↳ Please feel free to tweak them etc.

Themes: space, violence, science, weapons, military, technology, drinking/alcohol, friendship, cooking

“Get me one too. No ice.” “Oh, sure, sure. That seems... reasonable.” “Is there anything you're bad at?” “I'm not staying. I'm coming with you.” “It's so good to finally see you.” “You planning to stick around when this is over?” “You're not watching me cook, you're helping me drink beer.” “That's all I needed to hear.” “Figured you'd gone soft sitting on your throne.” “No, but you were probably thinking it. And now's our chance.” “Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes... Well... no. But see...” “Countless people lost their lives within minutes.” “Damn, I'm not very good at this. Truth is, [ name ], I'm not very good at being normal, either. Bit of a disaster, really.” “Nerrrrrrrrd!” “You been practising with that shotgun? Still remember the fast-reloading trick I showed you?” “[ he / she / they ] and I have discussed conquering the galaxy after [ group ] are gone. Though I do not understand why [ he / she / they ] is always 'damning' [ his / her / their ] god.” “If you say so.” “A lot has happened, [ name ], but I'd like to work this out.” “You want me to sit there and watch you cook?” “You're like the crazy head-butting [ relative ] I never had.” “Sounds like you have some time to catch your breath.” “Thought I'd try it out, see what you think!” “Don't listen to this old fossil. The only thing he could defeat is a glass of warm milk.” “We have beef, we have bacon, we have beer. The foods of my people. Wish me luck.” “Ha! My father would've hated you.” “Shouldn't we be worrying about the impenetrable vault we've been sealed inside forever?” “So, [ name ], you can serve this swill but can you drink it?” “I'm not nearly drunk enough for that.” “Agreed. I'm going to need more wine.” “Hey, I thought it was pretty good.” “I have amusing memories of [ his / her / their ] attempt to insert additions into my reports to [ name ]. Most of them cantered around inappropriate uses of the word ‘cockpit.’.” “Where did you learn to cook?” “You're focused. Believe me, I understand.” “Nothing. Unless you have strong feelings about gamma radiation.” “If you have some kind of weird shrine of me, I will be very unhappy.” “Hey, [ name ], I'm starving. What do you got?” “Refresh my memory: Didn't we used to win these things back in the old days?” “My advice is avoid the giant laser.” “Because I respect you, damn it! You think I don't want you to come with me?” “I am right here, [ name ].” “I'm supposed to hate you, but instead you warmed my heart with your winning personality.” “Am I still part of your plan? It's been so long, I wasn't sure where we stood.” “Come on, [ name ]. Don't you trust me?” “What, does she have a swear jar or something? 'Cause I'll bet if we emptied that thing, we could afford another cruiser.” “It's just a poster and a few candles. It's very tasteful.” “Trust me, let me impress you.” “What are you talking about?” “Just making you sweat, [ name ].” “If you need luck to cook us dinner, we're screwed.” “Did they at least validate our parking?” “I wasn't going to ask.” “Or... maybe you're being an ass.” “That does not happen until the end of the party.” “But whatever happens, I want to be with you.” “This has been... amusing.” “But wouldn't that require you to change your name?” “[ he / she / they ] said [ he / she / they ] saw it and thought of me. Why?” “Okay. What about gambling? Play cards?” “Might go somewhere sunny. Sit on beach, look at ocean, collect seashells.” “You guys like to drink? Booze it up?” “I'm a real person, [ name ]. Flaws and all. Not sure if that's your thing anymore.” “They should've listened to you a long time ago, I'm sorry, [ name ].” “Can it be at least quick and painless?”

[lnterjection]

gods of red skies (of this world to comprise)

Based on @quaranmine‘s post “that meme where the FBI shows up at your house because you know too much except it’s DreamXD and Ranboo being the only person who knows what an end portal is,” but I make it angsty.  

-----

“And here’s our table,” Phil said, and Ranboo’s jaw dropped in such standard enderman fashion he would have been ashamed, if he weren’t so preoccupied with the sight in front of him.

Slowly, he took a step forward. Leaned over and traced a finger across the pale, bumpy endstone, its tiny craters and rivers of raised ridges. It had been so long since he felt endstone beneath his skin. 

The empty sockets stare back into him, deep cyans and swirls of black. You’re here, they seem to whisper. We’ve missed you.

“It’s a cool table, but I think this is a bit of an overreaction,” he heard Techno whisper behind him. “Phil, what do we - uh...”

“Do you - do you know what that is?” Ranboo asked. He struggled to keep the awe from his voice. 

Phil glanced over his shoulders with a bewildered expression. “No?” he said, wings slowly fanning out. “What do you mean?”

“It’s-” Ranboo hesitated, taking a step back. Should he tell them? Should - should anyone in this cursed world have that sort of power? Wouldn’t that lead to more sides, more pointless statuses of power to fight over?

He made a split second decision. 

“Um, nevermind,” he said. “I forgot.”

The lie came so easily. Ranboo internally winced at how familiar his muscles were with the phrase. 

Techno eyes him, pupils narrowing, but he doesn’t comment. Phil gives them both a cheery smile and claps his hands in a neat, smooth motion, effectively shutting down the line of conversation.

“So!” he said. “Anarchy!” 

Ranboo nodded along, tried not to be too weird (or well, weirder than he must already seem to them), and that was that.

-

Everything was freezing - his crystalized bed that felt more like ice than wool, his creaking, ramshackle roof with scatterings of icicles that dripped frost and cold, the way every muscle of his body felt like it was contracting into a ball of sharp diamond. 

Ranboo couldn’t complain, though. He had a place to live. He was welcome here, which was so much more than what he deserved after everything he’s done. 

He wasn’t going to freeze to death. Worse case scenario, he takes his blanket and hides under his bed. He’ll be fine. Fine.

His chattering teeth and rapidly shivering body certainly seemed to disagree with him. 

Ranboo tried to draw in a clattering breath. The winds picked up, slicing every exposed inch of skin with an unforgiving glacier.

At least it’s not snowing, he thought weakly. 

And then, through the screeching winds and enveloping blindness of night, he heard it. 

There’s something crunching, outside the fences that made up his home. Ranboo blinked slowly, wondering if he’s finally gone off the deep end. If that last tether to sanity which his mind so desperately clung to was finally slipping away, and this was the moment he succumbed to that relentless war of the mind, never to resurface again.

For a terrible, traitorous moment, Ranboo hoped that it was Phil or Techno, here to invite him into their house of warmth, a sign of friendship or at least care, after he’d been invited into their anarchist group (which wasn’t taking sides, they just didn’t want to be ruled, was that so bad?).

“Not much of a house, is it?”

And like an arrow to his heart, that hope was promptly smashed to pieces.

“Shut up” Ranboo gritted out to the figure that was no doubt leering over him with that stupid smily mask and stupid smug voice. “You’re just jealous you don’t even have one.”

His mind scrambled around desperately as he suppressed a terrified scream. Is this his mind again? But that voice doesn’t show up outside the panic room, or does it? What does he know, really? 

Was this actually Dream, here to kill him? To take revenge on for destroying the community house? Ranboo couldn’t bring himself to drag his face away from the swath of blankets that he was clinging to, but he could hear the whine of the fence gates swinging. Something snapping shut in place. 

Dream was definitely here, unless Ranboo had, indeed, well and truly lost it. Which was a likely possibility. 

Dream, what was Dream doing all the way out here? And why now, of all times, did Ranboo decide to finally grow a spine? 

Well, either he was hallucinating big time, or Dream was here to kill him. Either way, it’s not like anything he did will matter. 

“I have a house,” Dream said, sounding mildly affronted. “Now, this pathetic excuse of a cattle pen certainly can’t be called one.”

“Just shut up and kill me already, Dream,” Ranboo yelled. His voice was muffled and thrown about by the wind, but it echoed through his bones nonetheless, and this was gratifying in some horrifying way because either way it’s not like what he’ll say will make any difference. “What, are you here to finally gloat over me too? Found a different target than Tommy, huh? Just can’t find a better use of your time than torturing teenagers-”

“What? Woah, I am not Dream,” Dream said, and Ranboo took a moment to process this information. 

“What?”

He finally looks up, squinting through the darkness and the biting way the winds attacked his eyes. 

The person that had his arms cross in front of him looked like a carbon copy of Dream, only with a pale blue hoodie instead of the usual lime green one.

“Just because you’ve put on a different outfit doesn’t mean you’ve changed who you are,” Ranboo snapped through chatters. “Fuck off or kill me, Dream. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“I told you, I’m not Dream,” was the reply. “Check your communicator.”

Ranboo, slowly, drew out the device and glanced at the pale, glowing screen. 

DreamXD whispers to you: I’m here.

“Really reassuring,” Ranboo said.

“Aren’t you supposed to be one of the nice ones?” ‘DreamXD’ asked. “I thought you had manners, or something like that.”

“Since when have manners ever helped me?” Ranboo bites, suddenly feeling something sullen draw his stomach down. Bittering clung to every word. “It’s like nothing around here gets done without violence.”

“That’s not my problem.” DreamXD made some shrugging motion, slowly turning his shoulders in an unsteady fashion like he was just getting used to moving his body. “I’m just here to...”

Ranboo flinched as a glimmering stick appeared in DreamXD’s hand. He recognized the telltale sheen of glowing enchantments, but that shouldn't be possible because you can’t enchant sticks. 

Dream, or DreamXD, or Not Dream, whatever the fuck he was - waved his glowing stick above him in what Ranboo assumed was supposed to be a menacing manner. He looked mostly like a deranged serial killer, which was, concerningly, also an apt description for the actual Dream. 

“I need to make an alteration to your book,” he said. “Hand it over.”

Ranboo stared at him for a long, drawn moment. His mind was blank, unresponsive, why would he want the memory book-

And then, his memory book was in the other entity’s hands, and Ranboo began yelling again.

“Give it back!” He lunged forward, but DreamXD teleported to the side and slammed his fist down on Ranboo’s back. He hit a faceful of snow and dirt, and a pained whine escaped his throat as the heel of a boot dug into his neck. 

Everything hurt. His back is now throbbing. Ranboo suppressed a sob as he heard the telltale sound of pages flapping wildly in the wind - and then the sound of ripping paper, grating against every bone of his body. 

Again - no, this couldn’t be happening again, why is this happening again, he was so careful and he hadn’t done anything and surely he had been good this time, hadn’t he?

His mind only just seemed to process what was happening. His memory book - his memory - was being stolen, torn, violated yet again and this time Ranboo could do nothing but listen and cry into the cold, gritty dirt while his neck is on the verge of snapping and what did he do?

He just wanted peace. He just wanted to be loved - not even loved, to just be left alone. To live without constant fear of pain or death or someone destroying everything he held dear. Was that so much to ask for?

Yes, a part of his mind whispered. You blew up the community house. You betrayed L’Manberg. You didn’t even have the spine to tell Techno and Phil, your new allies, what the end portal is. They welcome you onto their land and group and you repay them with more hidden secrets? How else will you betray everyone?

Everything part of him was burning. Ranboo wanted to slice and strip off all his skin, to submerge himself in freezing cold water and close his eyes and not have to worry about any of this anymore and why did he want all of that so much-

“There we go,” the voice above him suddenly said, and Ranboo made a choked noise as something hard kicked deep into his side. He tumbled across the floor with a few soft crunches before going limp, body splayed at unnatural angles that twisted knots around all his muscles. His throat felt more parched than desert sands, scraped raw and bloody. 

Something thudded in front of him, and Ranboo somehow had the strength to claw himself over through a filmy, blotched vision and drag his memory book back into his embrace. There were pages missing, ripped from the spine in jagged chunks like an unfinished puzzle shredded apart from frustration.

He choked again as a hand closed around his neck and dragged him up and something sharp and flaming jabbed into his chest. 

A coarse sleeve muffled his wailing scream. 

This pain was worse, so much worse, worse than the wither skulls and being dunked in water and all the stabs and slices he’s ever endured combined, his insides were burning and burning and on fire and covered in lava and Ranboo thought for a few fleeting moment that he would combust into sheer nothingness and he wanted to forget, forget why am I still here forget everything please I don’t want to be here-

“There we go,” the voice, that Dream voice, said, and it sounded so sickeningly like Dream but also not at all, because whereas Dream‘s voice always held a demeaning smugness about him this one had nothing but cold indifference, and Ranboo wasn’t sure which was worse but he couldn’t focus to think anyway because his entire world was red and white and burning and what the fuck was that stick enchanted with-

At some point, the pressure stopped. It faded away increments, and all Ranboo could comprehend was that eventually, as his mind flopped away from the shelter of nothingness, he was on the ground again and Dream was above him and everything was horribly, horribly silent. 

Why, he wanted to scream again to the howling winds, but his throat was spent and dead and he couldn’t move or do anything except lie there and spasm erratically like a dying animal with its guts already pooling across the stiff, blue grass. 

What did I do why is this happening please I’m so sorry I’m so sorry it’s all my fault please stop I don’t want to die-

“Let this be a warning,” the voice said in a smooth, terribly indifferent way. “If you write down what happened here, or about that end portal, I assure you that things will get much, much worse. And if you tell anyone, anyone else even a hint of what that portal is-”

Ranboo couldn’t even flinch as something cold pressed against his throat, as much as his mind leaped at the feeling. 

“I guarantee you will never see the light of day again.”

Was this what it had all been about? The portal? That he was being punished for his origins after all, for having the - the knowledge itself? For having the power to utilize it, even if he never would? 

“You really are Dream, aren’t you,” Ranboo rasped. He creaked his neck up to stare blankly into that pearly white mask. Every part of him, from his screaming body to his scattered, twisting thoughts felt weighted with magma, smoldering in its own ruins. 

Dream shrugged, a bit faster this time, and disappeared in a shower of flaking purple particles that drifted around like the snow that had, during some part of all this, began to fall. 

His eyes stung. His entire face was covered in tears, sharp daggers flicking the skin across with every movement. Ranboo couldn’t bring himself to care. He cradled his cold, crumpled memory book to his chest and knew that, as much as he hoped it was, this was not just a nightmare. Not in a world like this.

-----

Read on Ao3 here.

[demonfox38]

Okay. Made it through the last season of Netflix's "Castlevania" interpretation. Thoughts are below the cut.

I've often thought of this series as the exploitation version of "Castlevania," and hiring Malcom McDowell confirms that.

Although, I find it hilarious that both Malcolm McDowell and Patrick Stewart have ended up voicing the same character. I'm sure there's a "Star Trek Generations" joke to be made in there, but I'm not Mike Stoklasa.

Also, I was cracking up a bit when Varney's plot twist happened. Mostly, because it came off a bit Skeletor-esque in vocal performance.

Also, also—laughing that the final boss went the "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence" route despite barely touching on that game's plot.

Animation had its ups and downs with this season. It seemed like there were some frame issues (not enough inbetweening.) I do appreciate how they incorporated more of Alucard's SOTN animations into his fights, however.

Additionally, some of the fight scenes' pacing seemed to have issues, particularly regarding weapon recovery.

The whole bit with St. Germain was off. Like, he's a weird asshole in "Castlevania: Curse of Darkness", but he's more of a weird asshole there in the same way that casually encountering "Doctor Who"'s Doctor would also be strange. Not a straight up villainous boob. Kinda makes sense thematically to have another character who is willing to do horrible shit for their lost loved one, but the series honestly did not do a good job establishing her. Like, did she even have a voice actor? Or a name? All I'm saying is it was much easier for outsiders to get the Lisa revenge thing Dracula had going.

Also, how dare you joke about not being deaf and then have a villainous monologue, TV show.

Greta's a good girl. Well, outside of being an occasional homewrecker. Point is, she's competent and trying her best to save people in a bad situation, and anyone having issues with her is not to be trusted in the same way that you don't trust people who don't like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2."

Look at me. Do not trust people who do not like Rochelle from "Left 4 Dead 2." Yes, her writing could have been better, but she's still a viable character. Let people Thunder Child their ships on the rocks of your better self. Got me?

Also, y'all really need to embrace more polyamory. Or understand the fact that Alucard's not going to love just one person in his life. Dude lives to be at least 600 in the game's timeline. For a dude who loves humans, constricting him to just one who may live to be 100 at best is cruel.

There are some interesting philosophical dialogues going on here, but I can see where some people may lose their patience for them. Considering one of Castlevania's most popular memes is a philosophy debate, you're just gonna have to suck that up. My personal favorites included the topic of acting versus reacting, as well as having agency in one's story.

Striga's battle theme was cool, but otherwise, the music was forgettable. Yes, that is a sin. Punishable by Death? In this series, maybe!

The gore's still over the top. Which, okay, fine. There's a bit of that in game. It's just generally a bit more reserved with it or uses it in crucial boss fights.

RIP doggie.

The Targoviste plot's a bit of a wash, but it doesn't feel as useless as Trevor and Sypha's previous plot predicament. It's just nothing of a surprise, considering how many times the writing has played the "authority figures are useless" and "dark secret surprise" tropes in this series. Like, Greta being reliable is actually more surprising than anything with this plot.

I cannot emphasize enough how boring I found Carmilla's interpretation and plot arc. You guys could have had a giant, naked lesbian riding a skull and spewing magic at people while her cat-eared girlfriend jumped them for extra damage. But no. Vanilla lady with a scarlet sword for you. So long. Farewell. Auf Wiedersehen. Good night.  

Gotta say, as much of a deviation from his source character as he is, Isaac really turned out well in this series. He's definitely evidence that you don't always need to stick to source material.

His Abel is fucking sick, dude. Way to go, king.

Also, I was expecting more violence from Hector this season. Oh, well. At least he got a teeny bit of a spine.

Look. I'm not an alchemist by any means. I'm just a bit baffled by this season's emphasis of obtaining a Rebis. Like, any time the game series has talked about the Magnum Opus of Alchemy, it's more been in pursuit of making a Philosopher's Stone (or at the very least, a Crimson Stone, as seen in "Castlevania: Lament of Innocence.") Pulling a Rebis out of the aether is…well. Could have been more interesting than it was. I mean, it was a bit nightmarish, but it really didn't do much.

Sypha's really never getting back to her family, is she?

Love the idea that the cross subweapon is basically a fancy chakram.

GERGOTH. BUDDY. FRIENDO.

Really appreciating the monster variety in these last two seasons. I mean, that's a big selling point of the "Castlevania" games. Not so much vampires standing around and bickering in dick-waving contests.

Breaking out of the bullet points to hit on the big subject of this season—that is, the ending being surprisingly happy.

There's been a lot of shit that's happened over the last few years. Obviously, a pandemic. Konami's run by pricks. Then, there's the situation with the allegations of sexual coercion with Warren Ellis. Additionally, the terrible ending of "Game of Thrones" likely impacted how this season was developed, considering it seemed to be chasing its progression in construction. (I mean, look at Carmilla and Daenerys.) I don't know how many people were happy with the last season of "Castlevania," but from my POV, it double-tapped itself in the foot with the way it pushed simultaneous sex and violence in its last two episodes. My point is, there was little taste for additional darkness, considering everything that has been happening. Society is drained.

A happy ending was what people really wanted. And man, did this pull through, in that regard. But, there's a conversation to be had in if this swerved too far or if it violates some artistic integrity to give people what they want. So, let's have it.

Look. Man. Have you seen a "Castlevania" ending? When you do it right, it's crumbled castles and rainbow-colored skies. If you do it really right, it results in a pretty girl holding the main character's hand. There is happiness in these games. Hope. Forgiveness and redemption. If this is supposed to be any bit an accurate interpretation of these games, it absolutely should end in such a joyful fashion. (Okay, maybe giving Dracula and Lisa a second honeymoon at the end was a bit much, but I get where people would want that.)

Did some items need to be addressed more? Absolutely. Alucard staking people and Hector getting sexually coerced into servitude are some pretty big topics to just wave away. (Oh, shit. That second part is even worse now with what Ellis was allegedly doing, isn't it?) I suppose I'm just glad the series didn't go full Sephiroth with Alucard. And at least Hector finally took some stand in his situation, even if it wasn't the bombastic, hateful revenge I'm used to seeing from this character in other stories.

I think the creators of this series were trying to save this show from the fate of "Game of Thrones." (To some extent, perhaps the "Voltron" re-interpretation as well.) There's so much media out there anymore that if a production team doesn't nail the ending, their creation gets wiped out of the collective consciousness. To that extent, I think the creators were successful in saving their series. Did it do damage to itself in yanking out of its construction and themes? A bit. But, in doing so, it pivoted back to being more like a proper "Castlevania" product. (And of course, by proper, I mean anything ignoring "Lords of Shadows." God, people need to stop chasing other products when developing "Castlevania" stuff and just let the series be as it is.)

I am very curious as to how much of this season was part of an original draft and how much was revised in backlash to everything that has happened. It doesn't seem like Trevor was intended to survive, but to some extent, Sypha had to. (I mean, until she has a kid, anyway. See "Lords of Shadows" series for dickery regarding that.) I'm also wondering if there was more intended for the Carmilla subplot, as much as the series was banging on about her invading locations. I'm not even sure St. Germain was intended to be a villain all along. Getting into a bitchfight with Death? Sure. Doing what he did here? That's a weird arc, dude.

If you come away from my POV with anything, it should be this: GO PLAY THE GAMES.

Do it. Do it, you ghouls. Go to the Steam store and download the "Castlevania Anniversary Collection." Boot up your PS3 or 4 or 18 or whatever and get "Symphony of the Night." Throttle Nintendo's stores until "Aria of Sorrow" or "Dawn of Sorrow" or "Harmony of Dissonance" or whatever rattles out of their moldy pockets. Find a ROM. Find an ISO. Just play a game. Especially, one of the ones made before 2010.

"Castlevania" as a game series isn't about hordes of vampires dick-waving at each other or edgy swearing or being grim and dark. Some of that stuff's there, sure. But, at its core, it's what game developers created when they looked at Universal Monster Movie creations and went "That's cool. Let's fight that!" It's a series about pushing technology in MMC chips to make rich, vibrant music. It's about flourishing artwork and layers of sprites dripping particles and gore onto players. It's sober and goofy and very pro curry.

The thing is, "Castlevania" players have their own unique connection to the series. We're the weirdos you see clapping their hands when a mutilated dinosaur shows up on screen. It's not because the monster alone is cool. It's that we've fought and struggled and bodied that thing through several floors like a goddamn "X-Men: Children of the Atom" stage. It's kicked our asses. We've kicked its ass. We've got a connection to it that you just don't get from passively watching it barf lasers through a computer monitor or TV screen. Like, you know how people go, "Well, the movie wasn't as good as the book?" It's obnoxious, sure. But, those who read the source materials have to go to the effort of constructing their own sets and people to understand what's happening. In a similar fashion, game players build up their own skill set to reach that next rung.

Maybe you don't always get a payout when you invest your resources into something. But, there is a sense of accomplishment, seeing what you can do.

There's a reason this series got an adaptation. I mean, outside of Konami's head executives wanting easy money. "Castlevania" is a fantastic video game series. Has it got a few problems? Oh yeah. Especially after outsourcing and pachislot machines became all the rage. But, there's a reason Simon and Richter Belmont are playable in "Super Smash Bros. Ultimate." There's a reason I spent a significant amount of time playing these games and writing or drawing fanworks for it. These games are wonderful. Beautiful. Difficult, but inspiring. Reasons I will still bang on about them decades years down the road.

When I get exasperated by layers of angst and edge lord content this Netflix series generated, I want you to know why. The roots of this show are good games held captive under poor management. Some people on staff know this. I wish they had more scenario and writing control. But mostly, I don't want to shit on them or their work. (Well, other than perhaps the obvious target.) I just want you to see what I love in these games.

And also to watch Crashervania. Because that's legit.

[meggannn]

ship meme: shakarian, shepley, vhawke

sorry i’m late babe!! i already answered shakarian so here are the others

SHEPLEY:

What made you ship it?

starting from my first playthrough, Ashley has been one of my Shepard’s favorite companions because of her easiness to talk to, practicality (that conversation about siccing your dog on the enemy and running the other way is crude but accurate, and Shepard knew that), and also I think Shepard sees a bit of herself in Ashley, where deep down, she really doesn’t have that high of an opinion of herself. like most of my ships, I enjoy a “best friends” angle there—I wouldn’t call my Shep and Ashley best friends, because like, Ash probably considers her sisters her best friends, but on the Normandy especially after Kaidan’s death, I think they share a lot of unspoken mutual connections as the only human women combatants who are expected to carry humanity’s legacy in this war.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

they have a lot of things in common at first glance, but the further you look, the more they feel like mirror opposites in other ways. they’re both level-headed marines that take their career trajectories very seriously. in my head, Shepard and Ash are also both woc, so they have that in common on the SR-1 as the only combat women onboard. my Shep and Ash are also both older sisters, although Lydia failed to keep her sibling alive, and Ash succeeded in successfully raising four younger sisters; Ash has a big family and they’re very dear to her, and Shepard has none, and in fact, a lack of family is a big thing for her because she feels she rebuilt herself in the Alliance. yet, they’ve both built identities around being career soldiers.

they both know sacrifices are going to be made in war; they don’t have to mince words with each other. but maybe the biggest thing is that while Shepard is highly recognized, Ashley’s skills are constantly looked over and pointedly ignored, and yet Ashley doesn’t let that bother her at all. eventually, when they both become Spectres (and post-Ash’s promotion) they gain equal footing in rank, but Ash is still more than willing to take orders from Sheaprd because she believes in them that much. so like... the ease with which they’re able to fall into each other’s orbit again after reconciling on Huerta. they acknowledge Horizon was a low point in their relationship that was neither of their faults. if Shep keeps visiting her, Ash trusts Shep entirely again by the time of the coup that she turns on Udina herself. if Shep puts effort into meeting her halfway, Ash returns so much.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

well... idk if this is unpopular but I really only ship femshepley... sorry mshep players...

VHAWKE:

What made you ship it?

I know the exact fic that started all this, Liquid Courage by pibroch. I remember seeing this in a friend’s bookmarks and going “what? varric/hawke? that’s stupid. that would never happen.” then my cursor moved and clicked it without my consent and then suddenly I was reading it. and I remember thinking this had a nice Varric voice, so I kept reading for that at first. iirc the angle was that they start something as friends with benefits, and then Varric realizes as he’s picking up a gift for Hawke he’s caught big feelings and oh shit. and then I was oh shit too.

eventually, damalur’s fic became a big reason I stayed with it—she wrote so much vhawke back in the day—and then her starting starting the hightown funk exchange kept it a regular interest.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I won’t say “best friends to lovers” again, I promise (even though it’s true)

I have a mix of reasons here that are similar to the answers I wrote in my shepley and shakarian responses, about grief, and found family, and juxtapositions, and blah blah. the long and short of it is that they’re both very similar in several ways, but in other ways they’re mirror opposites, but I think, at least with friend!Varric, that their relationship is one of the only reasons either of them gets through DA2 at all.

a big theme for Hawke, of course, is family. DA2 is, among other things, the story of how they slowly end up losing one family and gain another (and possibly lose that one too if their friends leave them in the story). Varric is a little of the same way: he’s lost his parents and eventually loses Bartrand to betrayal; the person who is there for him before, during, and after is Hawke. they both sort of become each other’s lifeline for the greater found family no matter whatever chaos Kirkwall or the rest of their friends descend into. bioware obviously intended for Varric to be your bff, and while in Mass Effect with Garrus I think this attitude of forcing a companion to be your best friend had its problems, with Varric I think it works better because Varric is meant to be a “true neutral” compared to the others that sticks by you not because he always necessarily supports you, but because he finds you interesting enough to tell stories about. morally and politically, this has its issues, because he’s a centrist and even if he’s sympathetic to mages, he’s also a ~both sides have their good points~ kind of guy, and besides, he’s more of a talker than a doer. but Hawke speaks in actions, so it makes sense to me that he’s so fascinated by them: Hawke has the courage to do all this heroic stuff that he’s only ever written books about. of course he’s going to write about them too!

but while he starts viewing them as a sort of iconic, larger-than-life figure, he realizes over the years that by penning his best friend’s exploits, he’s made them a political target as the violence in the city grows—and eventually, he realizes he might have straight-up ruined Hawke’s life. it’s a burden of his own that he bears as Hawke shoulders the weight of the city: they both feel like Kirkwall’s downfall was their fault. post-DA2, they both set off to try to make it right in the best way they can, Hawke by leaving, and Varric by setting the story straight and protecting his friends the best way he knows how, with words. a big part of why all of that attracts me is just the drama of it all if you decide to view that romantically—especially if Varric recognizes his feelings but chooses not to say something, like if Hawke is with someone else—but really I see Hawke and Varric’s relationship as a tragedy no matter if it’s platonic or not.

of course a lot depends on how you play Hawke, but no matter if they’re blue/red/purple, I think they hide their grief behind whatever their facade is. Varric is much the same, where he hides his behind humor and only really expresses himself fully in writing—however exaggerated—but also growing up in a family full of bitter alcoholics has given him the ability to recognize when his friend’s at a low point, and how serious that low point is. since he’s sort of a peacemaker, his inclination is to look out for them without forcing them to talk about their grief; I’m really attracted to ships that have that “I’m here if you need me” energy with no pressure attached.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

hm, I don’t think so? I think this ship has the potential to work in a lot of different ways so where I’m normally picky about the way I like things, with this one I am more open to interpretations I wouldn’t normally like.

I guess, idk if this is unpopular, but I don’t really have any hard feelings against Bianca, although I am not convinced Varric’s infatuation for her is healthy. so in general I am in favor of him finding a way to move on from her, although that isn’t the main reason I like vhawke

[thefailingthief]

hey do you have any advice on getting started in the rp community? feel free not to answer if you don’t want to!

Buckle up, because I have a lot to say about this! I had to figure most of this out on my own, so I tried to be as thorough as possible. Feel free to skip over things you already know!

So you want to join Tumblr RP?

Hey, welcome!

The Tumblr RP community can seem hellaciously complicated, but it's really not. Sure, there are a few basics that most people expect, but after that, there are tons of people out there to talk to and interact with! Some are friendly and open, and some are more reserved and restricted. That being said, here's some basic terms and styles you'll run into!

"Muse" is just another word people use to refer to their characters. They can be an "OC" or original character, or a "Canon" character from a TV or book series you enjoy. They can even be "Canon Divergent," where you don't follow or even change canon events in your writing, or "Genderbent," where you play them as a different gender.

"Mun" refers to the person behind the muse. When you speak "OOC," out of character, people will know you're talking and not the muse.

"Multimuse" is a blog where people have more than one muse to choose from.

"Multiship" is a blog where the muses can have more than one (usually romantic) relationship with various other characters. These all happen independently of other relationships, each in their own separate little universe. Speaking of-

"Multiverse" is when a muse can have various things happening in a RP, but it doesn't effect at all any other RP they have with different partners.

A "Thread" is the ongoing RP. Whatever you're reblogging and responding to, that is the thread.

There's different writing styles, too!

"One-liners" are very short responses to a thread, usually one or two sentences long. This is especially good for "crack" threads, which are more comedic, random, meaningless threads for fun.

"Single Para" is when the response is usually about a paragraph or so long.

"Multi Para" is multiple paragraphs in a response.

"Novella." Gods save the novella writers, for it is an amazing skill. They usually write a few thousand words into their responses. If you like writing a ton of stuff, like you're writing a book, this one is for you.

Then, there's selectivity!

"Nonselective" writers are more open to a bunch of different partners. They don't have a strict criteria for who they want to write with. That being said, they do refuse to write with people from time to time if it's not working, which is okay.

"Semi-selective" people have a few more criteria they're looking for when they RP with someone, but they're still fairly open.

"Selective" and "Highly Selective" people have several criteria they want met when writing. What exactly can vary from person to person, but they're generally more choosy than others. Disclaimer: you might hear them called cliquey, elitist, and snobby. That's not true. Sure, some people are, but most are just looking for a writing style they can work with more easily, or they don't have a lot of time and want to spend it with people they know they'll enjoy writing with. Maybe they had bad experiences and want to protect themselves. It can be any number of things.

"Mutuals Only" or "Private" blogs want you to be following them, and them to be following you.

One more thing:

"Indie" blogs are blogs with muses that have no fandom. OCs are usually found here.

"Group RP" are RPs in a set universe, usually with characters premade that you can choose from. These groups usually RP within the group only.

"Crossovers" are when you want to mix fandoms. Want to take Superman and stick him in Gravity Falls or with The Doctor? You want a crossover!

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's really get started.

First Things First

First, you need a blog. I know, I know, it sounds obvious, but it's important to have your RP on a separate blog from your normal one. If you want to post memes or politics and discourse all day, by all means, go for it. Some people are just here to RP and get away from the world for awhile, though, and don't want to see those things. The solution, then, is to have two blogs.

You can make a sideblog to your main one and RP there. Just let people know you'll follow them from your main blog, if that's what you want to do. Or, you can have a totally separate main blog. It's up to you.

Now, some people say you need a big, fancy blog theme to go with it. I'm going to go on record to say you don't necessarily. I use Tumblr Default, and it never held me back. That being said, if you want to have a fun, creative theme, there's plenty to choose from! Just do a quick Google search and find what's right for you! Make sure, though, you can make at least 2 separate pages on it, and give credit to the one who took the time to make it. I also recommend it have text that contrasts with the background and is large enough to read, just so people don't have to squint.

At this point, it might not hurt to think about tags. What will you tag your normal RPs? The memes you reblog? Your OOC posts? What organizing tags will you use to make sure people can find things easily?

Next, you need a "Rules" page and an "About" page!

Your Rules are what you expect from a RP partner. You can describe yourself a bit and explain things here. For example, say violence is a topic you want to avoid in an RP; you can note things like that here. Let's say your muse is a villain, and you refuse to make them kind because it's out of character for them; let people know. You can also mention how selective you are, how much time it might take for you to get to threads, how best to contact you, and so on. If you want to plot a thread out or just jump in, let people know. This is where you let people know what to expect, and what you expect from them.

The About page is one of the most important things you can have. It's where you describe your muse. Tell people their background, their appearance, their personality, so on. I like to look up character sheets and fill those out. Even if they're a canon muse, it's important to summarize them where people can reference, especially if they're canon divergent.

These two are requirements for most people to RP with you. You can put them on separate Tumblr pages, Google Docs, a post on the blog itself, whatever. So long as you have links where people can find them easily, it's up to you where you put them.

Jumping In

Okay, that's the technical stuff out of the way. Now, we get to the good part: actual RP.

Finding partners is an active process. People aren't just going to roll in. You have to put yourself out there, I'm afraid. However, it's not as scary as it sounds.

My personal technique for finding people is to go into the tags to look. "Open RP" and "Open Starter" are generally the first ones I check. People post RPs you can respond to here. Make sure you check their rules and about pages first. After that, jump in! A lot of them might not be a permanent RP partner, but that's okay! If you're tenacious enough, you'll gather a few people after awhile.

If you're in a fandom, then use that tag to search for people. "(Fandom) RP" will be where you hunt for those.

"Group RP" tags have group advertising. If you want to join a group, here's where you'll find a bunch. They have their own rules and characters, so be sure to check out their stuff before you ask to join in!

Another thing you will see is RP promos. These are basically advertising a blog and its characters. It can help pique your interest, or if you make one, it can pique the interest of others. With these, you can always follow the blog and see how to best contact them, either through an ask or an IM, to ask if they want to RP. The worst they can say is no, after all. You'll never know until you try.

If you want to post things in the tags yourself, you'll need to wait a bit for Tumblr to acknowledge your blog - about a week - then post away! You can make your own open starters or RP promos to try and draw people in. Canon characters tend to draw in more people than OCs, but don't let that discourage you!

After all of that, it's just a patience thing. For example, I've been here for years, yet only have about 10 people who RP with me. Others get hundreds of people following them. What matters is that you enjoy writing with the people that want to write with you. It'll take some time to find those, but they're out there if you look. You might even make some new good friends. Who knows?

Okay, I rambled a bit, but I think I covered most everything. If anyone has something to add or more questions, feel free to respond to this!

[ms-demeanor]

Thanks for answering my ask, but I wasn’t really asking about the actions of the black bloc/violent protestors at a given protest. What I want to know is if this actually works in any larger sense - cause it seems mostly like it’s just a weird kind of performance, gesturing at full armed rebellion but never going there and never actually effecting change. And like, I accept that I’m a fool for wanting nonviolent change, but I’m not sure the presented alternative does much better?

Now, it’s not really discussed in that article (only vaguely touched on when they mention that the anarchists showed up early for the counterprotest) but based on the timing of certain tweets and calls to action it’s pretty clear that the march fizzled because Andrew Aglin couldn’t get people to show up when there was already a large group of counterprotesters who had made it clear they were not going to respond to violence with nonviolence.

Alt-right protests and marches before Charlottesville didn’t have such clear uniforms and tactics - the khakis-and-polos along with sticks and shields are a fairly clear (to me) indication that the white supremacist organizers saw black bloc as a tactic worth preparing against.

The KKK didn’t fear the hippies. They feared the Black Panthers.

In 2017 20 states saw bills to limit protesting put before their legislatures. Thankfully not many of them passed, but a few did.

These bills varied in their terms, a few naming masks and facial coverings as being a problem but most of them focused on something else: blocking roads.

THAT’S the tactic that these states think is too extreme - blocking the road.

You know, that thing those protestors in Hong Kong were doing. That thing that a bunch of folks online are praising for being “polite” and “classy” and that Hong Kong’s police commissioner is calling a riot.

Here’s the thing, if you’re asking “does black bloc” work you’ve kind of got to ask “does any protest work?”

What does protest accomplish?

About six million people marched at the Women’s Marches in January of 2017. Did they accomplish their goals?

I’m going to say, just from the rollbacks on trans protections and widespread bills that erode abortion protections, “no.”

Now, that doesn’t mean that their mission is complete and that they didn’t hit the mark and decided that “eh, one day of pussy hats was good enough.” They’re still working.

But is it doing anything?

That’s really hard to say.

Also, I’d like to point out that while the Women’s March was praised for its nonviolence commentators were quick to point out how rude and lewd their signs were and how much trash was left behind.

Which is why a lot of anarchists react to the question of “does black bloc accomplish anything” as a form of tone policing that’s almost meaningless.

Black bloc forms up and protects nonviolent protesters and carries injured people away from riot cops. Someone punches a white supremacist and it becomes a meme. All antifa are violent thugs, they’re the real fascists because they want to limit speech through violence.

Black Lives Matter and Occupy Wall Street and Labor Day marches block freeways to protest violence and inequality. They part for ambulances, someone breaks a window. These leftists don’t have any respect for people who are just trying to live their lives and get to work; they care more about burning trashcans and breaking windows than they do about the workers they claim to protect - what if it was a black woman who owned that starbucks that they damaged in their riot, did they ever think of that?

The women’s march is full of speakers telling deeply personal stories, individuals reaching out and offering care and comfort to one another, and even a few stories about how well these protestors can get along with the police; we’re not so different after all! But wow, a lot of their posters had genitals or sexual slogans on them, and they left behind a lot of trash. This isn’t appropriate for children, and if they care about the environment so much why are they littering? What a bunch of nasty, shrewish women. They’re just mad that Hillary lost.

You say:

it seems mostly like it’s just a weird kind of performance, gesturing at full armed rebellion but never going there and never actually effecting change

and I’m going to have to say that all protest is performance. Protests aren’t about *doing things* they’re about showing up and being seen in support of an idea. And I do think that protest accomplishes some things; it lets people know they aren’t alone, it raises awareness of issues. Those are fine things.

As to the armed insurrection bit - well, have a tremendously ironic image:

That sign, being held by a navy veteran, says “if you need violence to enforce your ideas then your ideas are worthless.”

I don’t think you could have a clearer image of the concept of “the state monopoly on violence” than a military veteran chiding protesters for throwing rocks at cops and breaking windows.

The article that featured that photo shows a fascinating tension. You’ve got people at a peaceful protest saying “we’ve got to make sure the nazis know they can’t just show up and spew their hate” who don’t seem to realize that the nazis showed up in spite of the peaceful protest and were chased away by a black bloc. You’ve got the alt-right protest organizer failing to do her paperwork (typical; if your protest fizzles you can always say “the city would’t give us a permit” or “there were logistical problems” instead of “I couldn’t get more than twenty guys to commit to showing up”). My favorite bit of the article is where they admit that police were overwhelmed by antifa and that thirteen arrests were made and there were 6 people injured, two of whom were taken to the hospital. Man, for an out-of control bunch of thugs hellbent on punching nazis that’s some admirable restraint.

So there’s this conflict I’ve got. On the one hand a pretty goddamned big part of me *wants* armed insurrection against, for instance, the police. The police kill people with impunity and I think it’s a gigantic problem, especially considering the issues that we have in the US with white supremacists “infiltrating” the police and military and such.

On the other hand if you’re driving your reinforced bulldozer into an old lady’s house because she used to be married to the mayor who wouldn’t grant you a permit for your muffler shop you’re not exactly part of the solution.

Getting back to insurrection:

One of the things that I DO think black blocs accomplish is to get people to question the legitimacy of the state’s monopoly on violence. The nonviolent clergy could have been badly beaten while the cops looked on impassively except that a bunch of ballsy motherfuckers decided not to let that happen. And some of them got arrested for it. People went to protest Donald Trump’s inauguration and a bunch of protesters got injured after there was some property damage - but there was also video of police targeting people who were helping street medics and of of people protecting injured people from the police. THAT I think is valuable, the illustration that you can do the right thing even if it is illegal. I think that’s effective and I think it’s heroic.

Anarchists have been debating the value of violence as a mover for social change for, like, a hundred years. You’ll note that we’re not dealing with assassinations or bombings in this discussion, but punching a few guys. Like, seriously, this is something that is very contested among anarchists and that individuals feel conflicted about even within themselves.

But, like, black bloc isn’t generally an “armed” insurrection unless you count baseball bats.

Here’s the deal: in my ideal world every time the alt right showed up with twenty dipshits talking about a white homeland there would be ten thousand peaceful protesters there with kazoos buzzing their nonsense away. (Credit where credit’s due; I think I saw this concept articulated this way by tumblr users argumate and pervocracy before I started using that phrasing myself) Actually one of my favorite kind of protests is simply drowning out the bullshit or making it appear ridiculous. Wanna see one of my heroes?

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GOOD JOB. DIRECT ACTION. FUCK YEAH.

Making nazis look ridiculous is almost as memeworthy as punching them in the face and much more palatable to the wider public. Also the nazis FUCKING HATE IT. Hard to be taken seriously with your talk about white genocide when you’re backgrounded by the baby elephant walk.

(god, seriously, everyone go get electric kazoos and mini amps and practice bagpipes, you don’t have to be good at it you just have to be loud)

If you want nonviolent change over time I recommend looking into Food Not Bombs; they’re doing good, nonviolent work that they still get arrested for and that hasn’t really made a dent in policy since they were founded in 1980.

I don’t think you’re a fool for wanting nonviolent change. That’s what I want too. But honestly all of the alternatives look kind of shit right now. You’ll get just as arrested for throwing a milkshake at someone as you will for nonviolently blockading a courthouse. Six million people peacefully marched to support reproductive rights and we’re still looking at the possibility of seeing Roe V. Wade overturned. Journalists covering the J20 protests were charged with felonies (until charges were dropped), maybe a simple assault charge for decking some asshole isn’t that bad.

But until we do figure out something that works I’m not gonna shit too hard on the only tactic that has been proven to suck the fun out of being a nazi.

Because remember - it’s not really the government that black bloc is deployed against; it’s the fascists for whom that the government provides no impediment.

(oh also a general reminder that most direct action is criminalized: be a good anarchist and feed hungry people in your community today)

[chillin-at-partys-bar]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme

fill out & repost ♥  This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO (Though he’s only in a few panels, I think he ends up being many people’s first fave?)

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO 

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO

Are they underrated? YES / NO (I think he’s very nicely rated, but also parts of him need more attention)

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL 

How strictly do you follow canon?

I try to follow what is known at the moment. I’ve done math to figure out when people would be joining his crew, and I try to stick as close to canon as I can. However, we don’t know a lot about him or his crew honestly, so I end up supplementing a lot of my own things. I do have an intense, crippling fear of being wrong so I try to only make safe headcanon guesses even though I know most people won’t care. Also, I'm not a huge fan of no women seen so far on his ship so I just... adjust some things and stick my OCs there. I have a feeling I know part of why there aren’t any women, and I don’t like it even if it fits in with sailor and pirate lore, so I’m just gonna fix that bit. Shanks is so decent otherwise. 

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.

Shanks has a lot of different parts to him. He’s great because he can get along with most everyone for an evening of drinking. He doesn’t care who you are, and he’s really hard to upset but he can definitely troll other characters very well. He’s kind and will rescue your character from certain death if need be, but he’s also strong and will challenge them if they threaten those he loves. He can be a really fun character to ship with as he loves very hard and people mean a lot to him. So if someone writes with him he is guaranteed to have strong thoughts on yours and will be more than likely to call them a friend by the end of the day. He’s also very attractive and good with kids, so that’s nice. He’s very much a pirate too, so if you want a pirate for your story but you don’t want the kind that will strike you down, he’s a great option. He’s forgiving too so you can screw him over and he’ll find a way to forgive you. Maybe. Depends on the kind of screw up. He’s also got a long range in terms of moments to play in his life, some really dramatic canon moments and some headcanoned ones. So it’s very possible to write with kid, teen, young adult, and adult Shanks. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?

It can be a bit difficult to create conflict with Shanks. Although it lets him pull off some great crack moments and have some great fun chaos, it also means that even powerful antagonists are hesitant to challenge him or fight him. Or even bring harm to him as canonically it means starting a fight with the Red Hair Pirates - which it’s also canon that not many are eager to do. This means a lot of the threads end up being talking or verbal threats as the opponent may make threats or Shanks will threaten but he doesn’t feel action is warranted unless action is done against him or a friend (if that makes sense). And even then circumstances mean a lot. I’d love to be able to play more physical rps and put him in more harrowing positions, but it’s difficult with how powerful he is and his reputation. 

What inspired you to rp your muse?

I actually really, really like pirates. I have some books on pirates and I’m really drawn to stories about pirates. A long, long, long time ago I had just read a cheesy romance novel called To Catch a Pirate and I really wanted another book where the pirates weren’t necessarily the bad guys. I was volunteering my summers at the library at the time and they had the first volume of One Piece. I set my sights on Shanks and never looked back. He’s just everything I crave in a pirate story. The dashing rogue with a heart of gold, you know. So I was sold. 

What keeps your inspiration going?

I think just the character and the new interactions that we get to come up with. Also, he’s a really unique character to rp culture as well. He’s insanely powerful, which is something that is more frowned upon with creating OCs for better or worse. Also, because he really won’t abuse this power except for like, something silly, I get to really play with him. I feel I also get to help people play with versions of their characters they haven’t been able to play before. Characters who are used to strong-arming and violence to get their way suddenly can’t do that, because Shanks is too powerful. So they have to come up with another way to express themselves and seeing these muns work with their characters to figure that out is really fun. 

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you do your character justice? YES / NO

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

I’m going to be honest. I really need to steel myself for criticism. I’m a perfectionist to the point where it’s really, really bad sometimes and I have walked away from a character because one person said they didn’t like how I played them. I try to go back to that character but I just can’t really. RP is fun for me, and I want this world to be a place where I can feel free to do what I want. So I prefer no feedback here. 

In before someone says “but criticism is how you grow” - okay. I get that. I really do. I’m a graduate student so I’ve had feedback from teachers. I have a few writing groups where I get feedback on my creative work. I get feedback on things that are meant for a larger audience and I get the feedback often. It hurts a bit but I am getting tougher. A few weeks ago, my group ripped apart (in the nicest way possible) a comedy sketch I was proud of. It took a bit to get over but now it’s better than before. 

So here I might not open things up for critique. I don’t really want to hear it (I accept positivity because I’m a jackass like that). If you don’t like how I write Shanks, that’s fine. Please don’t tell me and leave me be and let me do this my way. If you want to critique something of mine, let me know and I’ll give you a short story, some character notes for a book, one of my sketches, my sitcom pilot script, or my full-length movie treatment, hell I have a 2500-3500 word reflection essay for my grad program due next week so read that. Those- feedback, yes please. I need them to be stellar. This? No. Shanks is my toy and I’m here for fun not to worry and stress and get anxious about posting.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

I accept questions! I also accept questions asking about my decisions. Those I don’t view as criticism and working through my thought process can be helpful. Some answers might not be as complete as others but I definitely do accept them!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Not really. I don’t even want to know they disagree unless it’s a huge problem. I had a disagreement over a headcanon once get super out of control and the person got angry with me so... I really don’t want to know. Unless it’s something significant I guess? But I can’t think of anything that would be of that magnitude. I just want to have a good time. Please just let me have fun my way and if you really hate it, just write Shanks yourself and let me be. 

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I don’t want to know. This is the theme here. Just don’t tell me. I don’t see the point in telling me you don’t like how I write. I am very sensitive sometimes and I’m working hard through therapy and my own work to not be so sensitive, but I’m just not prepared for that sort of feedback here. In my writing groups, yes - definitely prepared for disagreement and push back on decisions. Here? No. Please no. If you hate my version of the character that much, please just block me. Or just vanish into the abyss. Don’t tell me. I will try to avoid being sad about it but I will not be successful. I know it’s not great and I really don’t want people to try and tell me to get over things like this because I know I need to and I’m working on it but gyah. Now I’m upsetting myself, haha. i cry easily guys. 

Some people: i don’t care if the truth hurts. I’d choose the truth over a lie any day. 

Me: no just fucking lie to me if you have to tell me something. let me be ignorant here.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

I’m sure some people hate Shanks. And that’s different from hating my portrayal. He’s not my character, so whatever you want to do go ahead and hate. I don’t like a bunch of other characters in the world. Just remember whenever shitting on a character, and this is something I learned while interning at Marvel this last year: every character is someone’s favorite. So in Marvel that meant you had to treat every character with respect. Even if it’s like, Electro in Spider-Man - he’s someone’s favorite character so treat him with respect. That doesn’t mean let him get his way, just don’t treat him like junk or a filler. 

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

See above with “trouble making mistakes.” Also, but why?

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

Wow, this whole thing makes me look difficult - doesn’t it? I’m really just here for fun and to enjoy myself and have a good time writing. I do think I’m pretty laid back about things, I don’t have triggers and I’m really forgiving about mistakes. If someone needs to talk to me about something technical that’s fine and I love hearing ideas. I just also want to keep this as a place for fun, you know? I want to make sure I’m not afraid to come on here and write some things, so I just try to make it a space for me to be comfortable. 

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

➸  Tagger: @godlivesonthemoon and @seraphiixa ((thank you guys so much!!))

➸ Tagging: u and ur face

[officerjennie]

💘 Tobirama x Izuna

Ask meme here

Stuffs below the cut cause super long. Also! My headcanons change wildly between stories and junk, so this is just one take on them :D

(also also: *nervous laughter* I’m, ahhh, getting around to the asks. I promise.)

(copy paste ftw)

Where they first met and how?Either on the battlefield in canon, or through their overbearing and obnoxious older brothers. OR. Maybe they’re the ones who met at the river in an alternate to canon, ooooooo me like.

How long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involvedI mean. They’re forever in flirting phase. Even after feelings get involved, they’re too busy being snarky at each other to notice.

Who fell for who first (if applicable)?Izuna fell first, and fell hard. Tobirama took a lot more time, especially considering he was convinced Izuna still hated him.Where their first date was and what it was like?Date who? They don’t go on dates. They go angry spar and end up disappearing into the woods for a while, and come out looking like they’ve been wrestling in the bushes.

Who asks who out and how (with a sign? Spelled out on a cake? Just a simple ‘will you go out with me’?)Izuna just shows up at Tobirama’s door step with his stuff one day and says he’s moving in. That’s the first and only ‘asking out’ either of them do.

Who proposes first?Hashirama. Hashirama proposes they both get married. That’s the only way they’re making it official.

If they keep/kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away?I feel like anyone related to Hashirama would default to keeping it secret at least for a few months from him. He’s just too much of a headache to handle.

Where the proposal happens and how (kiss cam at a baseball game? on a Hillside surrounded by ducks? At a Disney park?)It happens at Hashirama’s house. Because he dragged them both there, along with Madara. And sobs about wanting it to be official.

If they adopt any pets togetherTobirama keeps weird pets in tanks, and Izuna has a cat or two.

Who’s more dominantThey’re still fighting that one out…

Where their first kiss was and what it was likeAngry. Probs right after knocking each other around during a spar.

If they have any matching couples stuff (Mugs? Sweaters? Pillowcases?)I could see Izuna getting them something gross like that, if only to watch Tobirama’s eye twitch at it.

How into PDA they areTobirama hates it. Izuna’s alright with it.

Who holds the umbrella when it rainsIzuna - if only because Tobirama doesn’t like using them.

Where their usual ‘date spot’ is (if applicable)Training field.

Who’s more protective?Outwardly? Neither of them, unless the situation threatens physical violence. In the shadows? Izuna.

How long it is before they sleep together (can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’)?Shared a bed wise, it’s a while. They both have a lot of stuff to figure out between them, especially in a more canon universe. They were raised to kill each other, and fought one another over and over - literally hated each other at some point.

If they argue about anythingYes. All the time, even when it’s not serious. It’s practically foreplay to them.

Who leaves more marks (lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc.)?Izuna, somewhat cause (after the fact) it annoys Tobirama.

Who steals whose clothes and how oftenNeither of them, really.

How they cuddle (spooning? facing each other?)Izuna likes to flop on top of his Senju.

What their favourite nonsexual activity isEither random debates just for the hell of it, or training.

How long they stay mad at each otherHow long they appear mad at each other: quite a while. How long they’re actually mad at each other: not very long tbh.

What their usual coffee/tea orders areIzuna gave up caffeine after seeing what it does to Tobirama, who practically injects it into his veins to keep working. Tobirama’s taste buds call out for anything with the blessed wake juice, no matter how the precious liquid is flavored.

If they ever have any children togetherNah

If they have any special pet names for each otherIzuna loves making up random shit to call Tobirama, and laughs at the faces it earns him.

If they ever split up and/or get back togetherOnce an Uchiha’s in love, they tend to stick with it. So no.

What their shared living space is like (Messy? Clean? What kind of decor?)Izuna’s messy, and Tobirama’s too busy with work or being exhausted to clean up a lot. It’s a bit passed lived in, but no where near a pigsty 

What their first Christmas/Hanukkah/etc as a couple was likeThey’re dragged out for the holidays by enthusiastic relatives. It’s just like any other before they got together, but with more mocking batted eyelashes on Izuna’s part and face palming on Tobi’s.

What their names are in each other’s phonesDifferent variations on the term ‘asshole’

If they have any ‘couple traditions’ (buying a new mug for their collection every year? Baking every Friday evening?)They probably make sure to spend time together more than once a week, but beyond that nothing scheduled.

Who falls asleep first and who wakes up firstIzuna falls asleep first because he likes his beauty sleep. Tobirama crawls in several hours later and crawls right back out before dawn, heading to the depths of his lab.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoonSpoons? They’re not spoons, they’re kunai.

Who hogs the bathroomIzuna.

Who kills the spiders/takes them outsideNeither of them are bothered by the creepy crawlies, though Izuna’s more likely to actually do something if there’s one in the house. Tobirama’s unbothered if it’s a normal house spider, but removes the dangerous ones in some fashion.

[bencvolentways]

A knock-zwei

Setting: February 16th, throughout the day  Triggers: violence, death, assault Note: conclusion of this para. 

Mentions of: @holyqueens, @hcneycakc, @wrathfillcd, @lllvllls, & @tosinistolive

The knock on her window startles her and she’s too shaken up to do anything more than stare at the man she had been staking out for the last hour. Brooklyn Chapman’s been caught. 

“It’s not polite to stare, princess. Trying to muster up the courage to talk to me?” 

She notices little things right away. His brown, thick beard, his giant blue eyes, the brand of cigarettes he’s smoking, the colors he’s wearing, the accent, his mess of a hair. “Not quite.” It’s all she can say. She hasn’t figured this part out yet. 

“Are you police?” He sticks his head inside her driver’s window and she leans back as much as possible, avoiding his closeness but catching the smell of bourbon on his breath.”Because if you are, this isn’t very smart of you to step in the wrong territory, snake.” 

Metzger is right about one thing; this isn’t very smart. At all. 

A few hours earlier...

She waves at Sunny as she leaves her friend’s apartment. It’s been hours since Brooklyn has messaged Sofia and so she sends her a text. “Still out. Spent the night at Sunny’s. That was a great meme. I’ll see you tonight.”

She’s tried everything to get her mind off it all. Luis would be out of surgery soon. Her father would call or Nadine. Her sister was on call today after all. Her phone rings and she picks it up as she warms up her care and the voice on the other end greets her with a slight crack to it’s tone. 

“Brook...” 

Brooklyn’s eyes widen and she presses her forehead against the steering wheel. 

“No...Nadine...” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Another funeral. Another student. Another person gone. Just like that. 

“Brook? Brook please go home. Don’t...I know how this gets to you. Call Eren. Nika or Sof. Please.” Her sister pleads with her, even tells her she’ll tell Sunny to watch over her but Brooklyn shakes her head. 

“I have to go.” And so she starts her engine, tears clouding her vision as she makes her way to the cemetery. 

First Stop: Luis’ brother. ‘Flip’ as they all call him. He was an acrobat. He should have been a gymnast. He could have been so much...

“Hi.” She crouches and wipes the leaves off his gravestone. “I’m so sorry...” She shakes her head as the tears fall down her face. “Lo siento...” Who will protect their mother now? 

She’s sitting there for hours, the cold is unforgiving but she can’t bring herself to move. Her eyes scan the area. All of those lost... 

All of those... 

Her gaze falls on the marble a few rows down and she manages to to bring herself to her feet so she can take the few steps in that direction. 

“Adelaine...” She whispers and stands before the gravestone. “Why you?” She’s visited before, leaving behind tulips and a letter she hopes no one ever opens. “You were perfect...” And she was. Brooklyn loved her for Aston. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” To all of them. She was tired of the war. “We have to make it right.” 

Brooklyn wipes her tears and brings her fingers to her lips before brushing them over the gravestone. Her car isn’t too far but the trek feels like it’s miles away. 

Metzger. 

She hasn’t had time to mourn Luis yet and the last time anyone’s heard from her is right before noon. And perhaps now they won’t hear from her again because before she can reach for the gun in her glove compartment, there’s a gun pointed to her head and so she closes her eyes and recites, “Hail Mary...Full of Grace...”

“Shut the fuck up!” Pistol-whipped, a blow to her left cheek, she only begins to stir hours later, brown hues settling on the Savage before her. “Alright, Snake. How much do you think I can get for your pretty little face? huh? Maybe more if I deliver you in one piece...”

Her head is killing her and she looks down at her bound hands. “I’m not---I’m not worth a thing in this war. I promise you.” She wasn’t made for this. But her words only seem to anger this man more and he picks up her chin with the point of his gun. “Pretty girl. Maybe you’ll stay with me if no one will miss you.” 

“Please...” 

“Please? Oh baby. I love it when they beg!” 

“Don’t. I have money. Is that what you want?” But truly all she wants is a hole in his head and those sinful thoughts no longer her make her feel guilty. “Let me go.” But she knows he won’t. He’s high, he’s something she’s never laid eyes on. If evil had a face... 

“Hmm. Whatcha got under that pretty silk blouse? The clergy let you out wearing that?” 

He’s taunting her and as his gun travels down her arm, she glares into him before gathering her thoughts and spitting at him. Another thing he doesn’t like and he grabs the collar of her shirt, long, slender fingers curling around it, bunching up the fabric to the point where she’s gasping for air. “You’re too much work. I don’t like that, princess.” 

“That Serrano kid is dead...” A new voice. They enter the apartment and Brooklyn looks up to gather as many details as she can. Pink hair, green eyes, stubble. “Oh. I see you’re busy.” 

“Taking care of a snake. What do you want?!” 

And the newcomer walks up to Brooklyn and grips her chin. “This ain’t a snake. You’re the teacher, right? My sister likes this one...” 

Brows furrow and she tries to figure out who this angel is but her head hurts too much. 

“Seriously. Let her go, man. You’re high as fuck. Let her go. The kid is dead. You don’t have to deal with that anymore. Come on! Let her go. We have actual snakes to deal with.” 

The pink-haired angel unties her as Metzger snorts his own product in the corner. “Go. Get out. Don’t come back here.”

Brooklyn crawls backward, resting against the wall as she fights a few sobs. Her assailant has taken her phone but the other man retrieves her car keys, tossing them in her direction and shooting another warning to her. “Get out.” 

And so she does. And instead of going to a hospital, she drives herself home, walking into the empty apartment, broken and defeated. Piece by piece, she removes her clothing and climbs into her tub, letting the water run before she finally breaks down. 

[dalisaid]

RULES

about

this is an independent,  private,  &  selective roleplay blog for the character sam winchester from the cw’s supernatural,  &  the character in no way belongs to me;  just my writing,  headcanons  &  portrayal,  etc.

please do not follow this blog if you ship / don’t mind incest / pedophilia,  plain  &  simple.

i go by jean,  i’m 19,  &  use she / they pronouns.

my muse

sam winchester from the cw’s supernatural.

season 1  &  season 2 focused ( however,  i’m willing to be flexible here  &  there should the need arise,  but just because i tend to stick to earlier seasons does not mean if your muse is from later seasons that i won’t interact with you;  supernatural is a crazy show  &  pretty much anything is possible,  so don’t let my early portrayal dissuade you from interacting with me  <3 )

however,  along with the above,  i am 100% willing to write in later seasons upon request  & / or  should the muse for it strike ( which is 100% unpredictable lol ),  so while this blog will be heavily focused on season 1  &  2 as main verses,  you can keep the aforementioned in mind when interacting with me if you have later season-based plot ideas you’d like to work with / can’t really figure out how our muses can interact otherwise / just prefer interacting with later seasons vs the early ones  —  just make sure to specify if this is the case,  as i will otherwise ( unless muse dictates differently ) use sam’s main verses in season 1  &  2 when interacting. 

activity

my attention span kinda sucks,  so i will most likely write pretty sporadically  &  purely on whims half the time.  if i haven’t replied or answered something in a while,  know it’s nothing personal;  i’m just taking my time until i feel good about what i can put down.

along the same vein,  full disclaimer:  i might drop a few threads here  &  there if i end up overwhelming myself.  i will try not to,  but it might happen due to the above information  &  i’d like to apologize in advance for that.  if you’re wondering if i’ve dropped a thread with you,  feel free to im me  &  ask if you want to make sure!

while this blog isn’t a technical sideblog,  it is in concept,  &  in order to keep my activity consistent on my other rp blogs,  i might be very slow at times on this one.

selective

because of the above,  i’m also somewhat selective with who i rp with.  i want to be careful not to bite off more than i can chew,  &  though i don’t want to exclude anyone,  for the sake of pacing myself,  most of my activity will be reserved for mutuals only.

i reserve the right to drop threads with / unfollow / block anyone for whatever reason;  i don’t plan on exercising this left  &  right,  but it’s an option i might need at some point for my own comfort.

ocs / crossovers / duplicates are always welcome!

mains are allowed,  but it’s undecided if i’m open to exclusives at the moment.

etiquette

the basics;  no godmodding,  please cut your threads,  continue asks in new posts,  etc,  &  no stealing of any personal concepts of mine.  loose inspiration is fine,  of course,  but if i see repeated similarities,  i may or may not approach you about it.

shipping

predictably,  i ship sam / chemistry,  but otherwise i’m 100% down for shipping,  so feel free to shoot me an im if you’d like to plot something out between our muses!  however,  romantic shipping will not be a big priority on this blog due to my own personal preferences,  as well as sam being a pretty cagey person.

while the mun of this blog is 18+,  smut just really isn’t my thing;  referenced  ‘  offscreen  ’,  as it were,  nsfw content is fine,  maybe fade to black / time skips,  but for the most part,  you won’t find roleplayed smut on this blog.

as a side note,  i prefer to rp with muns who are also 18+ for the sake of my own comfort,  but this is a super flexible rule if i find myself wanting to rp with you regardless.

memes

memes from anyone at anytime,  ic or ooc,  are always welcome,  but asks from mutuals will be prioritized first  &  foremost,  &  i’ll most likely only continue threads with them as well.

if you want to start a thread from an ask,  go right ahead,  i just ask that you start from a new post to keep things nice  &  tidy.

asks for the mun are always welcome!

formatting

i primarily use small text for aesthetic purposes,  but feel free to format however you like,  just know that i’ll probably at least edit your text to small text simply for the sake of my blog aesthetic,  but if you have a problem with that,  feel free to tell me!

icons will be used mostly,  but i’ll match your format if you go iconless! ( credit to beaudiable  &  little-luna on hollowart  &  the gem that is fidelissimi for my icons )

personals

i’m sorry but in order to keep my notifs clean  &  tidy,  i’ll be softblocking most personals if you follow me.  nothing against you guys,  it just ends up a bit messy if i don’t.

triggers

sam canonically brushes shoulders with if not actively participates in very triggering concepts,  &  my portrayal will be true to that.  this blog will be trigger heavy in that regard,  containing themes such as depression,  self harm,  disordered eating,  nightmares,  blood,  gore,  violence, death / dead bodies,  gruesome deaths / torture, disturbing themes such as blood drinking,  exorcisms,  possession,  rituals,  religious themes,  general horror,  etc,  as according to canon.  i will not go into unnecessary detail concerning these,  but i won’t be skimming over them either,  so please proceed with caution when you follow,  if you follow at all.

if any of these things disturbs you,  it’d be best that you didn’t,  though,  for your own peace of mind.  due to how prevalent this content will be,  it’s unlikely that things won’t fall through the cracks even though i will be trying to tag everything appropriately ( cw trigger // ).  however,  if one of these triggers stands out to you especially,  i am willing to make an extra effort in order to rp with you.  <3

i don’t have any specific triggers other than eye gore,  but please contact me if you see something on my blog that you need me to tag!

thank you lovelies if you read all that!  sorry it’s so much;  there’s a lot to put out there,  but it means a lot to me that you took the time to read it.  now that you’ve done so,  i’d appreciate it if you could  LIKE THIS  post just so i can know in general who has  &  who hasn’t.  <3

[ludacryst]

Survey Says..

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I'm 5'3, but I sometimes wish I was shorter because of how cute it can be in a relationship. I've watched too much anime, okay?

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Well, @warpedbelief didn't help me figuring this out because his dragon idea was really cool. However... I'll just stick with cats. I love cats. (I also love dragons..)

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Comfortable. Lol. I mostly wear PJs.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Final Fantasy series in general. 7 & 9 Specifically. My heart was always with Zelda ALTTP though.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Erwin, Wiggles, PoF (Power of Friendship, so my friends/family.)

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Caution : Speaks her mind far too often. No filter. Bossy af. Does not cave easily.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? I don't know.

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Melancholic.

9: Are you ticklish? .....No...?....(Yes)

10: Are you allergic to anything? Lots of stuff. There's a list uploaded somewhere.

11: What’s your sexuality? Heteronormative Bisexual. I used to call it straight with a twist until I figured out there was an actual term for it. Basically, I'm emotionally attracted to men and commonly see myself in a relationship with men. (My Husband, HI.) However, I have similar attractions physically to women, but have never seen myself in a relationship with one other than physically.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa or Tea, but I'll drink any of em.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat. 1000% They're chill just like me... once they're older.

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf, probably. I love nature, I hate being allergic to it though.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Nah, I just skim youtube from time to time, no favorite.

16: How tall are you? 5'3.

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I'd probably keep it in the realm it's already in. So, I'm Crystal. I go by Crys (Chris) so probably Christina.. or anything that could shorten it to Chris of sorts. It's just me.

18: How much do you weigh? 175-190, depends on if I've ate fast food recently or not. More averaged at 186, but it's jumped a lot the past few months. Goal weight is 125.

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Sure. I don't disbelieve. Had a thing when i was a kid a few times that make me think something exists.. whether or not we know what it is.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space. Stars. I love water don't get me wrong, but I'm more curious about what we can't physically reach.

21: Are you religious? Nah.

22: Pet peeves? Liars, people who try to grind my gears, people saying "I'm going to do it just to spite you." I'm tired of toxicity of people.

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal. I'm defaulted to Nocturnal, so just eat some edibles and we're in bed by 10pm! :)

24: Favorite constellation? Leo ;)

25: Favorite star? Sirius, it shines the brightest.

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don't like dolls. They're creepy.

27: Any phobias or fears? Irrational : Dolls, Being around people. Rational : Heights, Closed Spaces t-t

28: Do you think global warming is real? Fucking. Is this seriously a question? Of course it's real.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I actually like to. It gives me hope there's something after death.

30: Favorite movie? I'm not sure I have a favorite movie...

31: Do you get scared easily? Nah, but I love a good jump scare.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Christina - My first doggie, passed away when I was in 4th grade. She was a mini collie~ Alexi - My green/yellow parakeet. Passed away at roughly 2-3 years old. Jiggy - My gray/white beautiful DHS big boi kitty. (2006-2016) Momma - My loving calico who picked me over everyone. ;o;  (2006-2018) Wiggles - Adopted from my family, he's a tyrant! He loves his dad more than me tho... [rude] (2016-???)

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] You CC please.

34: What is a color that calms you? Blue. Blue is always relaxing, especially softer/darker blues.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Travel wise, I want to visit a lot of places. Germany, UK, Canada... more specifically Niagara Falls.. Live wise, if I could, I'd live in Canada. However... I just want to live in the midwest, or east, somewhere more affordable in the US.

36: Where were you born? Ohio!

37: What is your eye color? Blue-gray.

38: Introvert or extrovert? 1000% introverted.

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they're amusing as fuck. I don't believe/follow them 100%. I do like to imagine what it would be like if they were right though. I follow zodiac stuff way more than horoscope.

40: Hugs or kisses? xoxoxo - Preferably hugs, they're for everyone! *HUGS*

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Scotty! ( @warpedbelief )

42: Who is someone you love deeply? @hyphenhero - My husbando.

43: Any piercings you want? I really dunno any more. The only one I've been considering lately is Daith.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? I don't dislike tattoos and piercings.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? Cigarettes are disgusting. Be more descriptive of your "smoking." I have marijuana vapes I enjoy.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Well, I married him.

47: What is a sound you really hate? Anything pitchy. My ears have been killing me the past year or so.

48: A sound you really love? Meow.

49: Can you do a backflip? HAHAHA No.

50: Can you do the splits? Almost did them on accident the other day. It really hurt. (No)

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Do voice actors count? Because then I'm between two. Johnny Yong Bosch and Matt Mercer.

52: Favorite movie? Wasn't this asked already? I don't have one.

53: How are you feeling right now? Tired.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I really want to bleach it blonde again.

55: When did you feel happiest? Maybe when we first moved into our second apartment? The rent was cheaper, it was nice. I miss freedom. Though, I also miss having a full guild of friends and getting along and having fun together.. Man I'm getting old.

56: Something that calms you down? Marijuana primarily. Hugs. Kittens.

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Anxiety, Depression, Memory issues xD Honestly you should just ask if there's stuff NOT wrong with me.

58: What does your URL mean? It's a nickname a friend gave me 11 years ago. Holy crap. It's been 11 years.

59: What three words describe you the most? Sassy, Bratty, Mom-ish.

60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Too much spam/boring content. Stuff I'm not interested in. Sometimes inactivity for years.

62: What makes you follow a blog? Stuff I'm interested in typically.

63: Favorite kind of person: People I can just talk to about anything. I like to talk. I don't like to be pestered and felt bad about not responding right away. I enjoy helping people. So I'm mostly a listener. I like to talk about stuff we're mutually interested in. Sometimes I love people I can debate with but not hate after (reasonable debates.) I guess I'm going to be that guy and copy what my friend said.. "Engaging, but not too much that I’m constantly tired. I like doing nothing, but doing nothing with the right person."

64: Favorite animal(s): Cats. All the cats.

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I don't really actively follow any specific blog in particular! :x

66: Favorite emoticon: :smirk: (use it on discord... though if you played maplestory, it's an F3 equivalent... )

67: Favorite meme: You said that tho?

68: What is your MBTI personality type? INFJ-T

69: What is your star sign? Leo

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No dog, but you'd be damn right to guess I'd train them.

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Any of the fluffy pjs with a thin tank top.

72: Post a selfie or two? https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/me https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/wedding

73: Do you have platform shoes? Nah. I don't have heels either.

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? My memory is absolutely shit in most situations.  However, in certain and RANDOM AF situations it can be clear as day. If I want to learn/remember something? Forget about it. If I could not care less about something? You'll be damn straight I'll remember it.

75: Can you do a front flip? Lol, no.

76: Do you like birds? Yeah, cept the annoying high pitched ones T_T

77: Do you like to swim? I used to love to. I can't really be in the sun for long any more though.

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Never been Ice Skating! Always wanted to try. I'd probably equally enjoy both.

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Mosquitoes, Cancer, Violence. On the violence part... It's mostly guns. If we had swordsman style fights - It'd be more interesting.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: Cures to incurables. Cancer, Epilepsy, Autism, etc. (I'm an epilepsy survivor.)

81: Piercings you have? Had an eyebrow piercing, lost it the same month I got it to pink eye.

82: Something you really enjoy doing: Watching television. I miss reading. I have a hard time focusing on reading now.

83: Favorite person to talk to: I have 3! Erwin (@hyphenhero) - My husband~ and my friends Scott (@warpedbelief)  and Brandon.

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? What the fuck is this and why do people use it? inb4 I replaced wordpress with it.

85: How many followers do you have? I don't really check. My Tumblr is mostly for me... and I just restarted fresh these past few months.

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Maybe if I tried. Used to be able to run one in 6.

87: Do your socks always match? Yeah.

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? HA, Never could.

89: What are your birthstones? Peridot, Sardonyx, Spinel

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat? Yes. Spoil me.

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Tulips.

92: A store you hate? Umm.... I don't know if I avoid any stores in particular....

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1-2. My stomach gets pretty upset.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly. Definitely. I get lost in my own mind enough.

95: Do you like to wear camo? Situationally.

96: Winter or summer? Winter 100%. Hate the heat. Love the snow.

97: How long can you hold your breath for? I don't know. Like 30 seconds maybe?

98: Least favorite person? They who will not be named. It gives them too much attention.

99: Someone you look up to: I used to look up to my mom a lot. Now I'm more-so my own person, I just do what I can to do right by me and my hubby.

100: A store you love? Uhm.. Any cheap store... I don't really have a favorite. I guess amazon for saving me gas?

101: Favorite type of shoes Skechers.

102: Where do you live? California.

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nah. I love ham too much.

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Cubic Zirconia actually. It's so undervalued but so pretty.

105: Do you drink milk? Used to. Not really much any more.

106: Do you like bugs? Sometimes. But not in the house.

107: Do you like spiders? Sure, they get rid of the bad bugs.

108: Something you get paranoid about? Being followed. Bugs crawling on me.

109: Can you draw: Used to be able to. Not any more.

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I don't know, I usually tell people anything they ask lol.

111: A question you hate being asked? Any question I had previously already answered, and they just weren't paying attention. Anything related to me/my own working/schooling.

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I can remember.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yeah, it's really relaxing.

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy, 100%

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: I would like to cuddle Momma right now.. Why you gotta go and make a girl sad for survey thing? (My calico that passed away last year..)

116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulus, Cumulonimbus, and Nimbostratus. Yes I googled them for their names.

117: What color do you wish the sky was? I honestly love the colors the sky is/can be, especially at sunrise and sunset.

118: Do you have freckles? Yes, but you can only see them when I have a tan. So to anyone who hasn't seen me since I was 10, you'd never know I had them.

119: Favorite thing about a person: How they treat people. If they're kind to animals. Eyes. Definitely eyes.

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits @_@

121: Something you want to do right now: Play Zelda - BoTW on Hard - but... I'm lazy.

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean. But they look best together.

123: Sweet or sour foods? Candies or actual food? Food, sweet. Candies, sour.

124: Bright or dim lights? Dim as you can go without causing me to have seizures over tiny little things.

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? I wish. Dragons would rock my world.

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: Yahoo owning it.

127: Something you love about Tumblr: The freedom it USED to have.

128: What do you think about the least? I dunno, I think about it the least... so it won't naturally come to me.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Carpe Diem ....heheheh.

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Why would I name them? Again with the attention thing.

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My Epilepsy. It's shown me who really gives a fuck about me, but also it's taken a lot from me.

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No, I hate my teeth.

133: Computer or TV? Computer, it offers more.

134: Do you like roller coasters? Never been on one, definitely want to try.

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Sometimes motion sickness, never got seasick tho.

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Attatched.

137: Do you believe in karma? I like to believe in Karma, but I really feel like people don't get their just desserts :(

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -5

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Crys, Crysti, Cryssi, Crysii, Ludacryst, Toxie, Punky, there's probably more but effort.

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I am unsure.

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes. More than one therapist.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Yes.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving.

144: What makes you angry? Lots of little things. Dumb things. Mostly the way medical/doctors are here... Our president... a lot of things really.

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? I can barely manage English, you want me to learn more?!

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? I kinda answered this earlier.

147: Are you androgynous? No.

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eye color.

149: Favorite thing about your personality: I'm more willing to let people go if they make my life worse. I used to be terrible at that.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. My Mom, Scooter, Matt Mercer.. (shh)

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? ANY ERA WITH KNIGHTS AND KINGDOMS AND WEEEEEEE............ (I like a lot of oldie based shows.)

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Eh.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] MapleStory. Not even remotely kidding.

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Yes. I'm a very touchy person if I trust the person. I prefer hugs on most though. Forehead is pretty sentimental to me.

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Sometimes, yeah.

156: What embarrasses you? My teeth, my weight, a lot of things.

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: People. Crowds. Planes. Heights. New Doctors.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: If it's the biggest lie I've ever told, do you think I'm going to out myself on social media?

159: How many people are you following? Fuck if I know... I'm too lazy to check.

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? See #159

163: Last time you cried and why: It's been over a lot of things. My health, my families health, my cat, hurting myself, etc.

164: Do you have long or short hair? Medium?

165: Longest your hair has ever been: Just below my shoulders.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? Neutral mostly, because you can't prove or disprove a god exists. Just because you haven't seen something does that mean it's not there? Also, just because you believe in something, does it mean that it exists really? I'm agnostic. Though Wicca seems like a more reasonable religion in most aspects (I've dabbled in research, I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Not really. I just care if it's gonna blow up before I die.

168: Do you like to wear makeup? Like? Not usually, it just helps me feel a little better sometimes.

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Nope.

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? As much as I could.

[yasbxxgie]

In the wake of Kavanaugh’s confirmation, the consequences of the 2016 election are settling in at a whole new level for white women. As a result, many are revisiting the post-election statistic that showed 53 percent of white women voted for the candidate who spewed racial vitriol and actively emboldened violence against people of color, tolerating his vile misogyny in the process.

We know Trump’s election only exposed more brazenly what’s always been true: White women have always sided with white supremacy.

Now we’re reckoning with another devastating truth, and this one pertains to all white women—including that other 47 percent of us. If we had ever collectively worked to create sustained solidarity with women of color, instead of consistently aligning with white men, we wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with. Why? Deep, robust multiracial women coalitions would be an unstoppable force.

Another report knocked the wind out of some us. Though swarms of white women rose up publicly enraged, it was only among women of color that a clear and strong majority believed Christine Blasey Ford. A Quinnipiac poll showed that white women only broke 46 percent for Ford (and 43 percent in favor of Kavanaugh, a statistically insignificant difference). On the question of whether Kavanaugh should be confirmed anyway, 45 percent of white women said “yes.” Wow.

Here we sit, with ever more evidence that massive racial failure on the part of white women is at the center of this political crisis. At the root of it all is our collective choice to not learn, prioritize, or consistently live in public antiracist solidarity with communities of color, and especially with women of color.

In short, we’ve never bothered to learn calculus.

(For clarity’s sake, please know I’m purposely not talking about white men — yes, the ultimate perpetrators — here. I am not blaming white women for white male violence. I am also not disparaging the incredible courage of all survivors, including Blasey Ford. I am simply focusing on what white women collectively do and do not do, have and have not done, when it comes to race, racism, and antiracism.)

This is where (one) peril sets in. The longstanding failure to choose calculus that allowed this crisis leaves us wholly unprepared for a political moment where nothing less than brilliant mathematical abilities are required.

For women of color, that cuts deeply.

As we reel, more white women seem to say, “Oh shit! I really do need to learn calculus.” But women of color don’t have the time, energy, or patience to teach us. They certainly can’t trust us. And while women of color have distinctly individual perspectives on and responses to white women in this current moment, it’s safe to say that collectively they’re beyond outraged and all but done with us. Why? Because they’ve been demonstrating the life-or-death urgency of white women learning calculus for decades now.

And yet here we are.

Ongoing apathy toward making the work of antiracism a central priority of our lives as white women has allowed the school building to burn.

My fellow white women, there is nothing not bad about this moment.

Calculus is hard to learn in a regular and relatively calm school situation. Now we need to learn calculus in a school building that’s on fire.

Even for the most willing and earnest student, there’s no way around it: It takes a long time to learn calculus. And, yes, so many of us are deeply hurting, furious, raw, triggered, and afraid. But the building’s still on fire.

Students, sometimes have to actually screw up math problems to actually learn calculus. Screw ups are part of any learning process. But, again, the building’s on fire. And every white woman’s mistake pours more gasoline on a blaze that’s consuming us all very quickly.

The task here is as essential as it is herculean. We need to stop pouring more gasoline on this fire at the same time that we get belatedly serious about the long, slow, mistake-laden work of learning calculus—and we have to do it at lightning speed.

From one white woman to another, here are 10 concrete steps to take right now if we hope to ever do math with women of color—which is not optional if there is any hope of calling into existence the deep, robust, multiracial coalitions all our lives depend on.

No particular order here. Some of these steps fall in the category of “for the love of god, stop pouring gasoline!” Some fall in the category of our long, slow work. None are adequate. All are critical.

1. Stop saying ‘women’ anything.

When the phrase “women must…” or “women are…” is about to come out of your mouth: Stop. Commit to the discipline of being racially specific in your speech. “White women must…,” “white women are…,” or “women of color and white women seem to be…”—at which moment you may notice, “Oh, wait. I really can’t say anything about women of color because I don’t know.”

You may not understand why this discipline is important. Do it anyway. It’s important because there is no non-racialized woman. Committing to this practice will make you more likely to notice gaps in your awareness. You’ll be more likely to notice the racial assumptions embedded in your own claims. This will help you gain clarity about where you need to focus as you do your homework. It will also necessarily rein in your claims about “generic” women, which is one small but critical way to stop pouring gasoline on this fire.

2. Do not participate in any public action called by white women with a reflexive ’yes.’

Stop, seek out, and then listen seriously to what women of color say about it first.

That “women’s blackout” action? Serious douse of gasoline. Yes, a very small number of women of color in my life sent me the invitation, too. (Remember. People of color don’t speak in one voice on anything.) If more white women had slowed down and listened to what women of color had to say publicly about all the problems with that “black out,” well — I don’t need say more about its problems. Go read what feminists of color themselves said about it. They were clear.

3. If you didn’t take a knee during the anthem in support of Black lives for the last two years, don’t share the meme suggesting all women and girls should now take a knee (see item number 2).

Even better, invite other white women sharing this meme into public conversation about why this is a problem. Don’t yell at them. Ask them to talk it through.

But make sure some version of what’s wrong with this does get explained: If we haven’t been taking a knee for Black people already, then kneeling now exposes whose humanity we actually care about. Not to mention white people co-opting a Black people-led movement is a problem, along the lines of what happened to Tarana Burke. Gasoline.

4. Transfer the vast majority of the time you spend reading and engaging in media to reading and engaging with feminists of color.

Literally and almost exclusively read feminists of color (feminist men and other genders of color too) every single day as you try to figure out what the hell is going on in our country right now. Don’t worry, you’ll still get the news. But, you’ll get it through the analysis you’ll need if you want to move beyond basic addition. Do an audit of who is in your feed; choose to follow the many diverse and brilliant people of color who are public thinkers, writers, and activists. Engage their knowledge and wisdom (and their disagreements with each other). When you don’t understand what they’re saying or why they’re saying it—keep reading. Know that it’s going to take a while before the basic vocabulary of calculus makes sense to you. But it will come, if you stick with it.

5. When women of color write about white women, do not privately message them with questions or rebuttal…

…Unless they explicitly tell you they are cool with that.

If they invite public response and you decide to say or ask something, cool. But be ready then to just sit and listen deeply to the response, whatever it is. If the response makes you uncomfortable or isn’t in the tone you were hoping for, don’t proceed to tell them how it made you feel (more gasoline). Sit with those feelings and then keep reading, thinking, and engaging. If you need to talk about those feelings, cool. Find another white person who’s also trying to learn calculus—maybe someone who’s been at it for longer than you have—and talk it through with them. Then keep reading and listening and sitting with your feelings some more.

6. Don’t just sit there with your feelings. Take your actual physical self to an organization led by people of color who are working for justice—and show up in person.

(Assuming that organization welcomes white participation, of course; most do.)

Don’t say you’re too busy. If you volunteer at your kids’ school, do stuff for your church, are part of a book club, spend time on Facebook, whatever else—this is the moment to transfer hours in your given week from white people (even time spent at your own kids’ school; your kids are going to be fine) to people of color.

The obvious reason for this is to put more labor toward the disproportionate heavy-lifting people of color are already doing for justice. The added benefit is that you’ll start to learn calculus in a way that reading alone doesn’t make possible. Show up. Do what is asked of you. Listen carefully. Don’t overspeak. If you’re uncomfortable being one of the few white people in that space, good. Do it anyway. Don’t flake out.

(Join the NAACP—they’re doing voter mobilization all over right now. Put in volunteer hours to people of color groups working to decrease the presence of police in schools. Get active in a sanctuary network for which Latinx activists are calling the shots; white people with citizenship are needed desperately for all kinds of work. Show up. Wherever people of color live, they are organized and acting. Figure out where and go.)

7. Read ‘So You Want to Talk About Race’ by Ijeoma Oluo.

Seriously, do this right now. If you have the means, buy a copy for another white woman in your life; for all the white women you know. Read it alone. Read it together. Talk about it. This book is a crash course in calculus. It’s brilliant, truthful, funny, loving, difficult, nuanced, and more. Read it with your teenager. Ask your teenager what they think about it (start inviting them to learn calculus, too). See if your co-workers will talk about it with you over lunch.

8. Make a concrete commitment to reallocate resources to women of color organizations. Donate to women of color running for elected office.

Now I am talking about money. This part isn’t so much about you and calculus. It’s just the right thing to do. It also may be the best hope we have to save this “democracy.” I don’t mean that in a “women of color are going to save us” kind of way. But, seriously, we don’t get to just run around giving Facebook shoutouts to Black women voters in Alabama for saving us from predators like Roy Moore, and then not go all in for them. We owe women of color something, and this includes being all-in in terms of having their backs as they step up and out into leadership (taking huge risks as they do so). We owe actual time, energy, and resources. Get your white women friends (and the men) to give money too. Do it.

9. Some white women, white queer folks, and a handful of white feminist men have been working for a long time to learn calculus. Find and follow them, too.

They are imperfect and make mistakes. But being white and trying to learn calculus is different from being a person of color and learning calculus. There are unique challenges. Your learning will speed up if you engage some of the white people who have been on this learning journey for a while.

Be careful who you listen to. Vet those white people to be sure their calculus-learning is legitimate and on the right track. See who they’re in dialogue with. Notice what feminists of color say to and about them. (Hint: If mostly only other white people like their work, don’t learn to do math the way they’re doing it.) Find the white folks who are obviously in relationships of accountability with people of color—these people do exist. Get with them.

10. Take an inventory: Where do you shop? Who cuts your hair? Where do you take your kids to the dentist? Where do you eat out?

Find ways to move your personal participation in the economy over to Black, Latinx, and other businesses owned and operated by people of color. This includes medical offices, stores—as many establishments as you can. Urge others in your life to do so, too. This not only actively reallocates resources you are already expending to communities of color and their economies, it also brings you into more frequent contact with people who our deep and wide white-segregated enclaves typically prevent us from being in contact with.

That’s no quick math formula. But it is critical pre-context for calculus-learning.

***

Here we are.

When you’re in a burning building, every step you take must be purposeful. We’re not going to be collectively calculus-fluent anytime soon. We’re also going to have to live with the consequences of our collective behavior. Namely, we’re going to be divided from women of color for a very, very, very long time. And there are no guarantees here. When I said there is nothing not bad about this moment, I meant it.

But I also know this. Standing still in a burning school building isn’t an option. And I know there are lots of white women and white queer folks (and a few white feminist men) right now who want to take purposeful steps. As much as we don’t quite know what to do, don’t totally get it, are ourselves hurting, fear making mistakes that pour gasoline—there are many of us ready to roll up our sleeves and learn the math. Let’s get purposeful. Together.

If this is you (and I commit to you, it is also me), know you are not alone. I offer this essay in a spirit of love, anger, urgency, and partnership. Let’s pull out our pencil and paper now—and a shitload of erasers. And let’s get to work. [x]

[botanistlester]

Sweet Pea (7/?)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath. Warnings: Abusive relationship, violence A/N: Amidst the horror of this story, here's something cute and sweet! The lyrics at the beginning are from a song called All Our Bruised Bodies And The Whole Heart Shrinks by La Dispute! Thank you (as always) to @littlelionsloves and @snowbunnylester for being my lovely betas! I couldn't do this without you two! I’ve also started making audiofics, where you can find on my youtube, skeletonflowers! Previous | Masterlist

Read it on AO3 Read it on Wattpad

-

Chapter Seven

Tell me what your worst fears are. I bet they look a lot like mine. Tell me what you think about when you can’t fall asleep at night.

-

It had been a few weeks since Phil had started talking to Dan, and today was the day where he was going over to Dan’s place. He was practically vibrating with both nerves and excitement. While he could hardly wait to finally get to know Dan in person just as well as he knew him through text, he was also anxious about how it was going to go in the first place.

Dan was everything Phil had ever wanted in a friend. He was witty, funny, and sarcastic at all the right times, but he also knew how to console Phil whenever he needed it. It was just strange for Phil to think that he had befriended his most valued customer, someone who he’d known for a year, but who he’d never really, well, known.

So now that Phil was finally going to his apartment? He didn’t know what to expect. He was walking into a mystery head first. What kind of flat would someone who wore grandma sweaters and who liked memes more than themselves have? Would he have framed photos of Doge hanging up on the wall? Would he have a list of his favourite memes on the fridge?

As Phil soon found out, only the latter was true.

Dan had just greeted him at the door with an overly excited hug and an exclamation of, “Phil!” that sounded just a bit more like ‘Phiw’ than anything else. He had then blabbered on for two minutes about how he was nervous to finally be showing Phil around, and Phil had only been able to quiet him with a large smile and an agreement that he was also very nervous. That seemed to be enough to compel Dan to give him a flat tour, waving his hands excitedly as he gestured to his favourite belongings.

It wasn’t what Phil had expected, really. Dan was such a colourful person, in both language and wear, that it took him completely off guard when he came to the realisation that Dan’s flat was decorated with monochrome colours, whites and blacks and grays. Phil pointed this out to Dan, who shook his head.

“Now that’s not true!” he exclaimed, grabbing Phil by the elbow and dragging him towards the kitchen. Phil didn’t know what he was supposed to be looking at until Dan pointed at the refrigerator, which was decorated with a million post-it notes and a few pokemon magnets. He had trouble keeping his snort in. “A source of colour amidst the dreary scenery, your majesty. You’re welcome.”

This time, Phil did snort, shaking his head and smiling widely at Dan. “You’re such a nerd,” he told him, and Dan just shrugged as if he’d already known that. Phil turned back to the fridge, looking over all of the notes, wondering what Dan could possibly need that many reminders for. And right there, smack dab in the middle of the fridge on an orange note, read ‘FAVOURITE MEMES’ in large block letters. Phil groaned. “Of course you’d have a list of memes on your fridge. You’re my least favourite person.”

Dan made a face and grabbed a pen and a stack of bright pink sticky notes from the counter. “If I’m your least favourite because I’m fun then I’d hate to see the dull fuck who has garnered all of your attention.” Phil watched with mild curiosity as he scribbled something unknown on the note before tearing it off and sticking it right to Phil’s forehead. “There. I think that accurately portrays you as a person.”

Unable to stop himself, Phil reached up and took it off, reading over the note. He almost couldn’t read it honestly, because Dan’s scrawl was like hieroglyphics, but after probably a hundred years had passed, he finally figured out what it said.

“Boring old man?” Phil read in a flat tone. He glanced up and met Dan’s gaze with his own unimpressed expression. “And here I thought it was you who was the old person. Considering you have your very own grandma sweatshirt.”

“Hey, I wore that to be ironic!”

“Right. Which is why you’re wearing a shirt right now that says World’s Best Daddy.”

Dan gasped, covering the words on his shirt like he was trying to shield himself. “I am a man who appreciates good humour, thank you very much.” He put his nose in the air, looking down at Phil in an attempt to make it seem like he had a mightier-than-thou attitude. “Not like someone such as yourself would understand something as complex and three-dimensional as humour. You disgust me.”

With a mock-offended scoff, Phil snatched the stack of post-its and the pen from Dan’s hands. In his haste, he almost dropped them, but luckily his butterfingers didn’t betray him for once. He hid the note from Dan as he wrote his payback on it before tearing it off and sticking it to Dan’s arm.

“There,” he said simply. “Now we’re even.”

Phil could tell that Dan tried to hide his smile, but it failed miserably when he read the note. The corners of his lips turned up and his eyes considerably brightened. “Meme-loving fuck,” he read, shaking his head and meeting Phil’s eyes. His face turned serious. “Is this supposed to be an insult? Feels a bit more like a medal of honour.”

With a snort, Phil shook his head and took the note away from Dan. He stuck both his and Dan’s on the fridge, near the center because they were obviously more important than anything else. “There. Now you’ll never forget about the boring old man who called you a meme-loving fuck.”

“You say that as if I could forget about you,” Dan murmured softly, and he shot Phil a smile that was somewhat sheepish. In all honesty, Phil found it endearing. He couldn’t believe how lucky he had been to call Dan his friend. All of his earlier worries seemed to have just flown out of the window as soon as he walked through the threshold. “Now enough of this sappy shit. I’m going to beat your ass at Mario Kart.”

“You’re on.”

Playing games with Dan was fun, but that wasn’t at all surprising to Phil. He’d long since realised that he enjoyed Dan’s company, so teasing and yelling at each other as they tried to destroy each other in Mario Kart was easy. Through this, he ended up getting to know more about Dan as well.

He found out that Dan liked to yell. A lot. If there was any chance that his victory would be jeopardised, then his voice would get so high pitched that it nearly shattered Phil’s eardrums. He cussed more than usual, the F-bomb dropping every two seconds as he slammed his shoulder into Phil’s. He was competitive, which could turn anybody away from wanting to play with him, but Phil couldn’t help but laugh at how upset he got every time it didn’t go his way. It was just endearing, and Phil found himself having the time of his life.

After they got bored of Mario Kart, Dan switched to Crash Bandicoot. Even though it was only a one person game, they made it into something they could both have fun with by passing the controller to the other person whenever they died.

Dan was the one playing when Phil got a text message, and he looked down at his phone to see that Nico had texted him. A grimace played on his lips, not because he wasn’t happy to hear from him, but because he hadn’t exactly told him that he was going over to Dan’s today.

Nico x - 8:46pm

Hey sweet pea xx

Nico x - 8:47pm

What r u up to?

Phil Lester - 8:50pm

not much. Chilling at home.

The lie came out before Phil could even think about what he was typing. He bit his lip so harshly that his lip tore slightly, blood pooling onto his tongue. He glanced over at Dan, who was sitting beside him playing Crash Bandicoot and swearing loudly at the television.

Why had he lied? There was literally no reason to. It’s not like there was anything going between Phil and Dan in the slightest. They were just hanging out. Phil had no reason to lie.

Except he couldn't stop thinking about how Nico would probably be mad if he was hanging out with Dan. It’s not like Dan and Nico had gotten along very well at the party, even though Nico had been drunk. Phil feared that Nico wouldn’t approve of his sudden friendship with the guy who pretty much told Nico he was a bad boyfriend.

His phone chimed again, breaking his fretful thoughts.

Nico x - 8:56pm

Can i come keep you company?

Panic filled Phil for a split second before he took a few deep breaths. That’s fine. He could just… lie again. No biggie.

Phil Lester - 8:57pm

Im actually trying to get some hw done tonight. Hang tomorrow? xx

Nico x - 8:57pm

Cant i just come hang out while youre working on it? I miss you :-(

Phil cursed under his breath, causing Dan to pause the game and look over at him with a concerned expression.

“You okay?” Dan asked carefully, seeming slightly uncertain like he didn’t want to overstep his boundaries. It was nice of him, in Phil’s opinion, because they didn’t really know each other well quite yet and yet he still cared enough to notice that something was wrong.

“I’m fine,” he promised, and gave Dan a tight-lipped smile. He met his eyes for good measure, holding his gaze for a few seconds until Dan sighed and accepted his reassurance.

“Alright,” Dan said, smiling back at him, his eyes crinkling. He turned back to his game, picking up the controller. “But let me know if I can do anything for you.”

Phil didn’t nod, just picked up his phone and sent a text to Nico, spewing yet another lie. He didn’t know what was wrong with him or how he could possibly treat his own boyfriend like this. In all of his relationships, he was always really cautious to be honest with them no matter what. But suddenly, all of his values were crashing down around him.

He didn’t deserve Nico.

Phil Lester - 9:01pm

I miss you too :( but I really need to get this paper finished. Ive been procrastinating. See you tomorrow?

It was disgusting. He was disgusting. Phil would make this up to Nico, even though he didn’t know anything about what was going on at the moment.

Nico x - 9:01pm

Alright sweet pea. See you tomorrow, I love you.

Phil texted him that he loved him too before Dan was shoving the controller in his face.

“I died already. I call hacks,” Dan muttered, but he was smiling despite his frustration, his face so warm that Phil couldn’t help but relax slightly, the tension in his shoulder dispelling into the couch.

“Get ready, ‘cause you’re about to see the wrath of the Philinator,” Phil proclaimed loudly, taking the remote. At least he could try to hide his guilt by beating Dan at everything he did.

“The Philinator? Really?”

Needless to say, Phil didn’t end up beating Dan. But that didn’t matter because his cheeks hurt from laughing so hard and his chest felt so light it was as if he was flying. It was strange, how being with Dan could make him feel as if he had known the guy for ten years, almost like they were platonic soulmates. Even Chandler, who Phil proudly claimed as his best friend for years, didn’t have the same chemistry with him as he had with Dan.

It was nice and Phil didn’t even think about checking his phone until he left a few hours later. But even then, the fifteen concerned text messages didn’t dare destroy his high.

-

Phil Lester - 3:38pm

Saw an old lady get bitten on her butt by a corgi just now. Made me think of you

Dan Howell - 3:45pm

Was it her thicc ass that made you think of me? ;)

Phil Lester - 3:47pm

You wish. It was actually her impressive amount of wrinkles that made me text you.

Dan Howell 3:48pm

Ha. ur soooo funny. U should be a comedian

Phil Lester - 3:48pm

That’s the plan!

Dan Howell - 3:51pm

I’ll be the first to throw the tomatoes

Phil Lester - 3:52pm

That’s fine, I’ll just catch them in my mouth! See you at the show :*

-

Since they had hung out together, Dan and Phil continued to become closer with each passing day. The only person Phil used to really text was Nico, but now he found his eyes glued to the phone every minute of the day, awaiting the next text message from both of his favourite people. Now what he really wanted was for Nico, Dan, and Phil all to hang out together, and then his life would be complete.

That wouldn’t be so difficult if, one, Nico didn’t hate Dan, two, Dan didn’t hate Nico, and three, Phil had told Nico that he was friends with Dan.

Yep. He was in deep shit, that was for sure.

And Phil… Phil was the worst boyfriend in the history of boyfriends. On top of keeping the information of his newfound friendship with Dan to himself, he also found himself lying all the time when it came to he and Dan hanging out. He came up with all sorts of excuses when he planned a day with Dan.

Sorry, I have to work on homework.

I can’t hang out today, I told Chandler I’d study with her.

I have work.

So when Dan had asked Phil if he wanted to spend the weekend at his house just for the heck of it because ‘they are actually teenage girls who need to have a sleepover ASAP’, Phil had a moment of panic. How was he going to explain to Nico that he was going to be away for the whole weekend because he wanted to spend his weekend with another guy? Especially a guy that Nico didn’t like?

His perfect excuse came in the form of a well thought-out lie.

“I’m going to my parents’ house,” he said before he could blurt out anything stupid and give Nico any wrong ideas. He wasn’t spending the night with Dan because he liked him romantically. He was doing it because he wanted to, because Dan was a close friend now, because the only person Phil had bothered to hang out with lately was Nico himself.

He needed other friends, damn it.

Nico didn’t even bat an eyelash and just shrugged, giving Phil a sweet kiss on the forehead. “I’ll be here awaiting your return,” he promised, making guilt flood through Phil’s body, the knowledge that he was horrible stabbing through his brain.

He was off the hook for now, able to spend the weekend with Dan, playing dumb video games and finally being able to learn more about each other. Phil was excited, ecstatic even. Finally, finally he had a friend who he could play dumb games with and joke around with like there wasn’t a care in the world. It was refreshing, to say the least.

Most of the times they hung out, it was just that - playing video games and watching movies. Phil found out quickly what types of movies Dan liked, ranging from Baby Driver to Deathgasm. He was one of the most complicated people Phil had ever met, his personality and hobbies all over the place with no set pattern. One day, he’d show up to class in stupid ironic daddy shirts and the next, he’d be wearing the most fashionable sense of style Phil had ever laid his eyes on. He had designer clothing, which Dan blamed on his Theatre classmates.

“I’ve never bought a single piece of designer clothing in my life,” Dan told him after Phil teased him about the godawful potato sack jumper which had apparently been made by Kanye himself.

Phil didn’t really believe him, but he let the matter go. Who was he to tell Dan not to be himself? Besides, Dan rocked his style and he knew it.

Now, they were laying in Dan’s room in the dark. They were both on the floor because Phil felt weird about sleeping in Dan’s bed. and Dan felt weird about letting Phil sleep on the floor. So they compromised and were both sleeping on the floor. There was a bowl of half-eaten popcorn between them and Phil’s face was lit up by his phone screen because Nico was texting him and asking how his mum was doing. Phil told him she was doing okay and it wasn’t exactly a lie because Dan was wearing a shirt that said ‘Sewing Mum’ which made him just as good as Phil’s mother.

“This is the part of the sleepover where we talk about our deepest darkest secrets with each other,” Dan whispered after about twenty minutes of silence. He set his phone down, locking the screen, and turned over so he was facing Phil. The room was dark so Phil couldn’t see his face, but he was sure Dan was looking straight at him. “Tell me your secrets, Phil.”

Phil snorted and sent his good night message to Nico, putting his phone on do not disturb. “What exactly am I supposed to tell you? Who my first kiss was? If I’ve ever gone past third base?”

“I mean, those are great places to start. I’d like to hear about little awkward Philly fumbling through his first times. Sounds mortifying.”

Phil hummed and turned on his back, settling his hands on his belly. He closed his eyes, finding it much easier to remember when he didn’t have to worry about looking at another person. “My first kiss was Miranda Carsen. I was fourteen and we were at a birthday party. We played spin the bottle and she pretty much shoved her tongue down my throat.” Phil chuckled at the memory, smiling. “For a while, I thought I didn’t like kissing before I realised she was just a bad kisser.”

“Just as horrifying as I imagined,” Dan sighed dreamily. “I dig it.”

“Well what about you then? When was your first kiss?”

Dan grew quiet for a second, and then he let out the loudest groan he could muster. Phil raised his eyebrows but stayed quiet so he could explain. “Bryce Harper when I was sixteen.” Phil’s mouth immediately dropped open and he emitted a noise of surprise. Dan was gay? Or bi? Since when? And why the Hell had Phil never known this? “Bryce was my bully for a few years and would always tease me for being a faggot, even though I was positive I wasn’t gay back then. Once, he said some really hurtful things and I got really upset and started crying and ran away. He chased me down and, long story short, he ended up kissing me. I kind of liked it, which is how I found out I liked boys much more than I liked girls. But I was freaked out because my bully was kissing me, and I pushed him away. He never bothered me again after that, and that was that.”

Phil couldn’t speak for a moment. There was a lot of information that Dan had entrusted in Phil in only a short monologue. First of all, the knowledge that Dan was LGBT+ was making his head spin. Suddenly, he remembered all of those moments where Phil hadn’t been quite sure if he was flirting or not. Now, it made him wonder if Dan had been flirting. But knowing his personality, that could also be the way Dan just was. Secondly, Dan was bullied. Bullying was something Phil had sadly dealt with all throughout high school as well, so this was something that made them alike as well. And lastly, Dan’s bully had actually kissed him. And Dan had liked it.

That knowledge was almost too much for Phil to handle, so he ended up letting out a breathy laugh instead.

“That must have been so confusing for you,” Phil told him, turning on his side to face Dan. He tried to squint his eyes to see what Dan’s expression was, but he couldn’t make it out. “One moment, this guy is chronically bullying you and calling you names, and the next he’s trying to kiss you and be nice to you. I can’t imagine how confusing that’d be.”

Dan hummed. “Pretty confusing,” he said softly, in a voice that made Phil want to reach out and grab his hand. Not because he wanted to do anything weird, but because he wanted to offer his support. He didn’t though, because he had a boyfriend and holding other men’s hands was disrespectful. “That was a pretty rough time in my life,” Dan admitted after a moment of thought. “I had been in denial over my sexuality because I was being bullied about it, only to have everything come crashing down over me when I realised I liked it when my own bully kissed me. I thought I was sick, a masochist. Who the fuck likes it when the person who’s been torturing them for years suddenly shows some affection?”

Phil stayed silent during Dan’s rant, but he spoke up when Dan’s breathing turned heavy and he stopped talking. “You’re not sick, Dan,” he promised him. “You were just confused. That had to have been a hard thing to go through, and it’s not your fault.”

“I know that now,” Dan replied, and then there was a hand on Phil’s, one that was so gentle that Phil barely felt it at first. He was sure he should pull away, but Dan didn’t entwine their fingers, didn’t show that he was trying to come onto Phil in the slightest. He was just holding onto his hand as if he were seeking comfort, and Phil decided he could make an exception just this once. “I had some friends to help me through it and my mum was wonderful. I think the experience helped me be the person that I am today, so I don’t regret it anymore.”

The admittance made Phil’s heart constrict. He couldn’t imagine how strong Dan must have to be to get through something like that, to be able to look at himself in the past and be proud of what he’d accomplished instead of wallowing in shame. Phil squeezed his hand lightly. “I like who you are today,” Phil told him earnestly.

Even though it was dark, Phil could tell Dan was grinning when he said, “I do too.” And then a smaller, more quiet, “I like you too.”

They fell asleep a few hours later, after Phil’s throat had gone sore from laughing so hard. He hadn’t had a friend like this in a very long time, where they complimented each other so well to the point where they were giggling about absolutely nothing for thirty minutes straight. They could go from serious discussion one moment, to completely joking the next, and yet it flowed together easily.

Phil knew that he was the luckiest person in the world to have Dan as a friend.

Chapter Eight

[consultthemuses]

Sentence Meme: 88 Prue Halliwell Quotes

Some will be more easily applicable than others. SOME WILL CONTAIN TRIGGERS (violence/supernatural references)!! Feel free to change pronouns/genders at will.

❛ Look, I have just found out that I am a witch, that my sisters are witches, and that we have powers that will apparently unleash all forms of evil. Evil that is apparently going to come looking for us. ❜

❛ Is that bad luck? ❜

❛ No, no, no. It is Phoebe and her new powers. ❜

❛ Yeah, I said it to mom and it was the last thing I said to her before she died. ❜

❛ Okay, apparently my power isn't the only one that's grown. ❜

❛ Curse? What curse? ❜

❛ And tell them what? That someone broke into our house to try and steal our broomsticks? ❜

❛ Ah, probably a zombie or vampire. ❜

❛ Couldn't your people just issue some kind of statement? ❜

❛ One killer cocktail literally. A little oleander, some jimsonweed, bloodroot, among other things. Stops the heart immediately. ❜

❛ Oh, don't threaten me. ❜

❛ I'm so sorry. I had no idea. ❜

❛ No, actually that good. It was... Well, we were naked. But that's not the point. ❜

❛ No, I'm free. I'm not going back. ❜

❛ Oh, yeah. You want to have that conversation with him? ❜

❛ Yeah, well, what else can we do? ❜

❛ Yeah, but there must be some kind of incantation to reverse it. ❜

❛ You got one too. Come here. ❜

❛ I don't know. But why should I believe anything that you say? I mean, you don't even know the difference between what belongs to you and what belongs to, oh, let's say Macy's. ❜

❛ We are going to be careful, we're going to be wise, and we're going to stick together. ❜

❛ So, witches forever? ❜

❛ I mean, you could always calculate her age by the number of rings on her fingers. ❜

❛ Stairs can be sobering. ❜

❛ Yeah, well, all demon-hunting and no play has made me a lot less picky. I gotta figure out a way to put some more balance in my life. ❜

❛ Your gift. Show him your gift. ❜

❛ So we're actually supposed to believe that you're Cupid? ❜

❛ You're kind of hard to miss in that outfit. ❜

❛ Look, I know that this all sounds incredible, but it doesn't make it any less true. ❜

❛ After everything that I've seen in my life, and believe me, I've seen a lot of weird stuff, it takes a lot to scare me. But this time, I'm really scared. ❜

❛ Um, do you remember Pearl Harbor? ❜

❛ No, I'm not okay! You've turned me into a witch! ❜

❛ I realise that I do want kids. I think that I'd make a great mom. ❜

❛ Okay, so that spell switched all of our powers. ❜

❛ Same thing that we've always done. Borrow each other's clothes, hog the phone. ❜

❛ I don't know. You know, I've been, I've been mad at you for so long, ever since mom died, I don't know how else to be. ❜

❛ And that's for thinking that you wouldn't get slapped. ❜

❛ He was either too stunned to speak or actually believed me on some level. It was the closest that we've ever come to having an honest conversation. ❜

❛ Oh, the rutabaga! ❜

❛ I can't believe how much hate that took. ❜

❛ I'm just following my instincts, and they've never led me wrong before, at least not when I was really listening to them. ❜

❛ OK, was it a demon? ❜

❛ I don't know, I just felt a chill. [name]? [name], are you there? ❜

❛ Okay, how are we doing on that spell? ❜

❛ So you can slice off a chunk of demon flesh but you can't touch a pig's foot? ❜

❛ Alright, here goes. From this moment on your pain is erased, your bad luck as well. ❜

❛ I don't obsess. I think. Intensely. ❜

❛ Well, he ran me over. ❜

❛ Are you saying that you don't want to see me anymore? ❜

❛ I mean, look, it's a hassle. It can sometimes screw up our personal lives. ❜

❛ Do I have to use my power on you? ❜

❛ I can't just let an innocent man die! ❜

❛ Yeah. Yeah, I'll just run up to the Altar Room, which by the way is right next to the Potions Lab, and I'll be right back. ❜

❛ Okay, you know, for your information, I do not have man troubles. Financial ones, now, yes. But definitely not man troubles. ❜

❛ I hit [name] in the chest with an axe and he didn't even bleed. ❜

❛ Hello? Gluttony, table for one. ❜

❛ Oh, oh, alright, so, uh, I'm gonna go now and I'll be downstairs and work all night long and I'll be really quiet and you won't have to worry about me. ❜

❛ I'm just never sure if it's better for you to know or not to know. ❜

❛ Where do we go from here? ❜

❛ I don't believe this! We've been frantic, worried sick about you thinking you've been kidnapped. ❜

❛ It's the 21st century. It's the woman's job to save the day. ❜

❛ By the way, you owe me for a car tow and a tank of gas, you little leech! ❜

❛ He's the demon! ❜

❛ Oh, well, I see that you've inherited dad's talent of bailing. ❜

❛ They really shouldn't have given us the finger. ❜

❛ Anyone who steals it ends up dead. ❜

❛ So I think I'll call this, "Woman Pretending Not to Look Out the Window". ❜

❛ I'm gonna win this fight and save your ass, that way I can kick it myself later. ❜

❛ Okay, now would be a very good time to get angry. ❜

❛ It should make for a pretty interesting defence. ❜

❛ If I died tonight, my gravestone would read 'Here lies [name], she worked hard'. ❜

❛ I told him the truth. ❜

❛ You say that like it's a bad thing. ❜

❛ So this is a pretty interesting band, what's their name? ❜

❛ Okay, I know it sounds crazy but I saw her. It was just like my dream. ❜

❛ I'm calling the cops! ❜

❛ I am so sick of saving your asses. ❜

❛ We weren't all troublemakers. ❜

❛ By the way my dress looks good on you. ❜

❛ Are we good or what? ❜

❛ No. Actually, it gave me a good feeling. ❜

❛ I don't like them, but I don't go running through the house naked screaming 'run for your life' either! ❜

❛ What's the vaccine for? What does it protect against? ❜

❛ We are not leaving here without you! ❜

❛ And tell them what, that she's dying of old age at 25? ❜

❛ I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time. ❜

❛ Or maybe she's out to destroy us. It wouldn't be the first time. ❜

❛ By the looks of the clothes, I'd say we were in the early 1600s. ❜

❛ So, do you think the one of the employees might have stolen it? ❜