#and i wrote the majority of it in like an hour and half the other day

[aroaceleovaldez]

What is the PR disaster in question that made Rick announce TSATS? I wasn’t active in the online fandom at that point

Of course! This was awhile ago so it figures people don't remember it/aren't familiar:

Basically a couple years back (2020) the fandom had some posts circulate discussing the ways different characters in the Riordanverse were written poorly or offensively. There was a masterpost that went around tumblr but the two major points people were particularly focusing on were Piper and Samirah (particularly because Piper had featured prominently again in Trials of Apollo recently and the third MCGA book had further emphasized and discussed Samirah being Muslim, since it was supposed to take place during Ramadan). Basically each had multiple posts breaking down the ways they were depicted incorrectly or offensively. The entire fandom for a little bit was VERY intensely discussing this (and it's around this time the "RR crit" tag got very popularized on tumblr - it did exist before, but suddenly was being used VERY frequently - cause it was that wide-spread - though the discussion took over basically every side of Riordaverse social media on different platforms). People really wanted Rick to respond to these criticisms, so he did!

He made two blog posts, one about Piper and one about Samirah. He has since deleted both so the links are to archived versions. The short version: he essentially tried to justify his poor research and double-down that he hadn't written them offensively, actually, people were just being mean to him. The fandom, of course, reacted poorly to this.

[Further elaborated events under the cut since this got a bit lengthy]

(Fun fact, this all happened within a month or so of the time i posted an open letter on aphobic tropes in the Riordanverse that Rick replied to, and then he immediately followed with announcing that Reyna was intended to be ace-coded [which cause a LOT of fandom debate] before Rick dipped for a couple of weeks, and then came back to post the blog posts in response to Piper and Sam stuff. So I like to jokingly refer to this as "The time I imploded the fandom/drove Rick off of twitter." Twas I that set the house ablaze.)

Rick fully left social media after this and the LT Musical social media manager became Rick's social media manager for the time being.

So this all happened June/July of 2020. Tower of Nero would end up being published in October of 2020 and a few months after that Rick would state that he was done with the series and wouldn't be writing any more series installments involving Percy, and also that he wouldn't be writing a Nico quest following Tower of Nero as it "wasn't his place to" and encouraged the community to write their own versions of Nico's story.

The community continued to circulate the tumblr posts and discuss the topics of Rick's offensive character depictions, and this is also where we see the dramatic shift in how the fandom depicts Piper in fanwork (though in most cases it is admittedly not an improvement 😬) because of all this discussion. This is also around the time when the fandom brought Viria under scrutiny claiming that she was whitewashing Piper as part of the same discussions, through the justification that she was drawing Annabeth as having tan skin (which she does canonically), and if Annabeth has tanner skin then Piper then that's whitewashing Piper? Except they were using completely separate images of not fully rendered Piper art versus Annabeth in dramatic lighting, so it's all very awkward and poor logic, and did actually get kind of racist. A lot of people were calling it "Tannabeth Blackchase" (yeah, i know) or similar and a common sentiment you'd see repeated is "Don't draw Annabeth as having darker skin than Piper, because that's offensive/racist/whitewashing." (Note: it was not phrased "don't draw Piper as having lighter skin than Annabeth" - we also won't get into certain offensive depictions of Native Americans, but I digress). But yeah, the Annabeth stuff in all that did not age well at all.

Anyways, in October of 2021 however Rick would announce that he was co-writing The Sun And The Star - with a lot of heavy emphasis on how Mark Oshiro works as a sensitivity reader, and some false advertising from the official social media that Mark Oshiro was the first time a non-Riordan author would be collaborating on the series (disregarding the ghostwriters completely). One of the big criticisms in the breaking down of issues in Rick's writing was his lack of ever seeking a sensitivity reader, and fans claiming that a sensitivity reader could solve a lot of the problems. This was basically Rick's "look! I totally listened!!!!" (though it did little to actually improve things, based on the book) and in TSATS as well Piper gets a large cameo at the end where the text very directly addresses a lot of points made in criticism of Rick's writing of her.

We also then of course got the CoTG trilogy later, explicitly stated to be for advertising purposes for the show.

So basically, short version: Rick came under scrutiny for a lot of offensive writing within the span of two months, made some bad blog posts doubling down about it, left social media. TOA ends. Rick says he wasn't going to continue the series/write what would become TSATS. Community celebrates the end of of the franchise but also continues to discuss Rick's poor writing and the blog posts at length. Rick suddenly announces TSATS and Mark Oshiro's involvement. Everybody gets distracted from being mad. Show announcement stuff also happens and the discussions peter out.

[neversetyoufree]

Every time I think about it too much, I go utterly insane over Noé's little "I'm glad you're the person you are now" speech.

Like, no matter how you read their relationship, it's undeniable that by that point, Noé cares about Vanitas so much. He's clearly quite upset by Vanitas's "as if anyone could fall for a person like me" line. And because of that, he goes out of his way to try and reassure Vanitas that he's good and worthy of love, and he specifically crafts his reassurance in a way that he thinks Vanitas will be able to accept.

He prefaces his kind words with "I still don't like you," because he knows that Vanitas reacts poorly to outright being liked. He adds on the line about his statement being "arbitrary" in an effort to pretend that his speech wasn't prompted by hearing Vanitas spill his self-hatred. He goes to lengths to make things look as much as possible like Noé's just sharing a thought, not trying to comfort Vani, but his intent comes through crystal clear.

Yet at the same time, the way he ties his speech to his thoughts on having met Astolpho shows that he really is being genuine. He goes out of his way to say all this because he wants to reassure Vanitas, but he doesn't say a word that isn't from the heart. Regardless of whether he “likes” the way he is or not, he’s genuinely grateful to have the Vanitas that he has.

It's so telling that Noé's reaction to hearing Vanitas speak self-hatingly is to go out of his way to contradict that hatred with affection. And that he tries to go about it so delicately. It speaks so much to his depth of feeling and his emotional intelligence. It’s just such a good scene.

[mackmp3]

song that i wrote

[cyberm4n]

You've now filled my head with nothing but Alastor and Lucifer brainrot. Any other sharing thoughts you have for them? (I cannot stop thinking about them, I quite literally thought about them sharing me during my entire 8hr retail shift yesterday)

alastor and lucifer sharing you pt 3!

pt1, pt2

this was highly requested, thank you all for the love <3 im tagging anyone who asked/was fine with it last time but now you can fill out this taglist form to ensure you're tagged for future posts!

tags: @lu-ferri12 @my-anime-garden @princessdreamss @polytheatrix @reaper-of-light-12 @ambi-squirrelly @hazelfoureyes @meggletoomanyfandoms @afernandez21

cw: angst ig?? idk reader is upset cause they keep fighting, general relationship issues for a moment, smut, reader gets eaten out, there's some light praise and condescension i think, alastor has a master kink, alastor discovers he LOVES eating pussy, there's like a weird sexual tension between alastor and lucifer for the majority of this if you squint, the ending is VERY suggestive

other: not 100% happy with formatting on this but i wrote majority of it on a 6 hour flight so like. you win some you lose some. not proofread that well, i kind of ramble at times too but it's fine. 2.1k word count and half of it is formatted in a headcanon cuase, again, lazy 6 hour writing. i also don't use the bolding and coloring that much cause it'd be a lot of work.

left the ending a little open, will probably do a poll tomorrow on if people want me to take this that direction.

■ okay so sex aside i would think outwardly everyone knows you're in a relationship with lucifer at the very least

■ but it's kept lowkey with the other part of the relationship

■ which both are fine with btw

■ lucifer loves pda so he's happy, alastor isn't a fan so it's whatever

■ the public part works out because alastor would genuinely be worried about someone trying to use you to get to him

■ it's bad enough that it's known the king of hell has a new partner, but nobody knowing that if they fuck with you they're fucking with the king of hell AND the radio demon is a silent advantage

■ if anyone knows, it's charlie. but only to the extent of like the fact it's a hinge relationship, everything else she doesn't know and honestly doesn't need to know

■ she's just happy her dad seems happy and is getting along better with alastor

■ i think alastor is the kind to really start caring during the relationship vs. lucifer caring about you deeply before

■ so occasionally alastor will pull you aside, or if no one is watching will just press a quick kiss on your forehead.

■ meanwhile lucifer is always making it known he's in love with you

■ arm around your shoulder, holding your hand, everything

■ again, alastor doesn't really mind unless lucifer decides to be an ass abt it

■ look they still compete with each other sometimes they can't help it

■ then it becomes a game of how much the other can get away with before you either get upset or it's too telling

■ that's the other thing is like, the competing gets really fucking annoying to you

■ we saw them in hells greatest dad it wasn't a want to be a better dad it's just wanting to out do the other

■ and when it transfers to your relationship it gets agitating fast

moving on

■ relationship side alastor isn't as involved with that

■ but if either of them did something that upset you or like there was a lovers quarrel between you and either side it's a big deal to them

■ especially if you're only upset with one half of the hinge

■ cause like, sure, they could compete with each other and purposefully drive you apart

■ but tbh.. both of them lowkey like this arrangement much more than they thought they would

■ so they end up talking to each other about it and figuring out what to do

■ same if you're upset with both

■ not that you're upset often it's just that when you are it's usually cause they crossed a line in their little competition

■ and they hate making their girl feel like a prize to be won :(

■ whatever their solution is, they do it together.

■ show you they can get along, that they both care about you enough

■ you're in your room, a bit of a blow up happened earlier after they got into one of their arguments

■ it's not that you genuinely think theyre using you to get to the other but sometimes with the way they act it's easy to doubt

■ anyways, they both come in, it's late

■ i cry when im frustrated/upset and i think it's a pretty normal reaction, so let's just say you're crying a little

■ they're both immediately at your side, apologizing profusely

■ you've never cried like this before

■ it scares them. alot.

■ for once there's absolutely no competition, the only worry is making you feel better.

■ both sitting next to you on the couch, lucifer murmuring how much he loves you, and how he knows how much alastor cares for you

■ i hate the whole "alastor doesn't understand emotions" thing because he does. he has to, he knows how to read people well.

■ it's just he hasn't ever comforted someone

■ he doesn't know what to do when someone he cares about is upset

■ so he's glad lucifer is here, as alastor just sits at your side nodding along and gently rubbing your back

■ alastor only tunes back in when lucifer offers to give some space for the night, and a little murmur from you agrees but asks they both come to bed that night

■ given its usually only lucifer who actually sleeps in the same bed as you alastor is surprised

■ but lucifer is beckoning him out for some space.

"cmon, we'll be back in an hour yeah?" he chimes from the door, and with a squeeze of your shoulder alastor is out of the door, but he opts to walk along with lucifer. "we gotta do better" lucifer sighs as he walks, not looking over at alastor. he's not accusing alastor, he seems equally disappointed in both of them.

"for her?" alastor adds, and lucifer gives a hum of agreement. "this while ordeal has been quite... stressful as of late, no?" alastor adds, "to our own faults, yes" lucifer murmurs, giving a sigh. alastor nods, and the two men walk in silence for some time, ending up in the parlor, husk far since gone to bed. "want anything?" lucifer pulls alastor back to reality once again, he's standing behind the bar while alastor had been staring off, his mind running with thoughtd of god knows what.

"whiskey, my friend?" alastor suggests, and giving it a considerate thought lucifer pours two glasses. the silence falls over them again, just the sound of the clink of their glasses on the counter.

"so tell me, how do you do it when you pleasure her?" alastor breaks the silence, lucifers eyes dart up to him. thinking for a moment before replying "i don't really think tonight is the time for that—" lucifer says, but in a gentle tone.

"no no, in the morning." alastor says, staring down at his glass. "you two indulge often in the morning, correct?" alastor says, now his eyes uncomfortably on lucifer. Watching as the other man almost pales a little, swallowing thickly.

lucifer immediately falters, giving a sigh. "look it's not— i‐ that's not her fault–" lucifer immediately starts, assuming this is a confrontation. his eyebrows raise as alastor shakes his head. "oh please, if i had problem with it i would have done something" he says, a static crackle echoing through the room. "no, i want to know how you do it when you... when it's just about her. how can i do the same?" alastor asks, and this is even more surprising to lucifer than this whole fucking idea in the first place.

■ so lucifer of course explains some stuff to him, of course it's hard because unless he's done it before it's hard to articulate some of his "moves"

■ i mean lucifer can hardly resist going down on you everytime, he's definitely experienced but it's hard to transfer that knowledge at times

■ but he's impressed alastor even asked

■ so when they return to your room, they're a lot more calmer with each other than before.

■ that night changed a lot between them tbh

■ it's slightly awkward for both of them when everyone gets settled in the bed

■ you're on your back, lucifer on your right side and alastor on the left.

■ they're both holding you to the best of their abilities

■ lucifer gives alastors hand a squeeze before shuffling it to have a better grasp on your waist

■ you all peacefully sleep through the night, not shifting much but it's pretty comfortable

■ is the morning you're mostly cuddled into alastor, which is entirely lucifers doing

■ when you're all awake though alastor gets arguably nervous

■ but you being you, you slump over onto alastors chest, murmuring some affection to him

■ lucifer gives a nod, it's time.

■ he'd honestly probably move to get out of bed, assuming some privacy is wanted

■ but he feels a shadow wrap around his forearm, it's a light pressure

■ alastor shakes his head, mouthing a small "please"

after lucifer processes for a moment what exactly is about to go down, he's okay with that. he settles back in, his eyes on the two of you as alastor tilts your chin up, pressing a kiss to your lips. "my dear, would you mind if i tried something a little different with you?" alastor chimes, and you blink your eyes open again, still a bit sleepy as you give a nod.

he gently maneuvers you on the bed so you're laying on your back, his hands pawing at your sleep shorts and pulling them to your ankles. lucifer watches, honestly a little mezmerized by the whole ordeal. he feels proud in an odd sort of way. “I think our little doe deserves a treat, would you like that?” alastor murmurs as he spreads your thighs open. You take a shaky breath before murmuring some form of agreement, maybe even a little plea.

without further prodigy, alastors finally leans down his tongue swiping down your folds, hands grasping your hips to pull you to his face. your hands go to hold lucifers, but he shakes his head tutting at you. “ah ah, that’s not very polite princess” he chides softly, guiding your hands to alastors hair.

and alastor makes good use of the tips and information lucifer gave him, his tongue plunging into your sweet little hole as his nose bumps your clit. his eyes wander up, making eye contact with you as he eats you out so wonderfully. you tug at his hair and he practically growls in pleasure, opting to change tactics and focus his mouth on your clit while his fingers slide inside you, gently curling into your sweet spot.

and lucifer watches it all, absolutely mesmerized. he doesnt know what it is about watching this but theres something about knowing alastor is doing exactly as told to in this scenario that makes lucifer feel warm. he lets alastor steal the show, doing only minimal work. maybe hes softly cooing praises or gently reminding you to show your appreciation to the one making you feel this good.

as you get close, evident by the murmur that falls past your lips, alastors eyes snap to lucifers for a moment, and he takes a moment to think before understanding. usually when youre close alastor is all over you, telling you to be such a good girl and cum, just slight praises and coaxing. given the fact hes face deep in your sweetness he cant really do that, so that job is up to lucifer now.

“isn’t alastor doing such a good job duckling? you want to make sure he knows how good hes treating you, dont you?” lucifer coos, scooting in behind you on the bed so you stop trying to writhe away. “I think he’d be so disappointed if you didnt cum for him, you think you can do that, hm? you wanna cum all over your masters tongue?” lucifer says directly in your ear, and alastor feels a bit of a warmth in his stomach by being referred to as “master”

when you give a weak moan in response lucifer sighs, shaking his head. “be a good girl now, you can do it little doe” he says which is what sends you toppling over the edge, your hips rutting up into alastors mouth, whiny moans coming from you as alastor desperately licks up your sweet release. this whole thing was quite enjoyable for alstor, but hearing lucifer call you “little doe” his petname for you made him smugly satisfied.

after some aftercare which mostly just involved more cuddling, alastor feels satiated enough to shift to leave, before getting a look from lucifer. he reluctantly stays, feeling as you come to lay at his side once more. lucifer seems to take note of something, giving alastor a nod down, he glances down, seeing the obvious tent in his pants. alastor looks back up, slightly annoyed. a like “yeah, no shit dumbass” kind of look is exchanged.

alastor looks back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you sigh happily. but alastor tenses as he feels a hand on his knee, shooting a glare to lucifer as he traces his hand up a little. the two meet as and alastor takes a shaky breath as lucifer leans in just a little, breathing out the next few words with a calmness alastor admires:

“just keep cuddling her”

[rieamena]

don't you dare—!

day 30 of inotober'24

a drabble (i think thats what its called) of takuma ino giving you the silent treatment

fem aligned reader

riea's comments: i need him carnally. like i need him so bad you don't even know. where was i in life before i knew him??? wrote and edited this in an hour and a half btw back in SEPTEMBER (clap for me). it was so hard, i mean SO hard, waiting for this to drop. hope yall enjoy it tho

i'm not here to lie. there's no way on earth that takuma would willingly give you the silent treatment. you??? his lovely girlfriend who he would do absolutely anything for?? yeah no way. he'd rather get kicked in the balls ten million times than ever ignore you. buuutttt then satoru cheekily says to "just try it! do it as a prank!" so here you were

the day started with you two waking up side by side in your shared bed. the plush fabric and soft warmth of the blanket wrapped around your bodies as takuma clung tightly to you. your eyes fluttered open, meeting takuma's instantly. "good morning," you mumble, feeling the light circles your boyfriend was rubbing into your back. he stares at you for a few seconds and then leaves the bed. that's when you realized the majority of the warmth wasn't coming from the blanket, it was coming from takuma

and now you're cold.

and alone.

in the bed you share.

with your boyfriend.

the mornings usually went like this: wake up, gaze into each other's eyes deeply, take a shower together while talking about the latest drama at work, brush teeth, do each other's skincare while trying so hard not to laugh so that the masks wouldn't slip off, make breakfast intimately, eat breakfast just as intimately, etcetera etcetera etcetera. you get it. i might've exaggerated some parts but that doesn't matter

but now… instead of that routine being done together like two people in love, it was done apart like a married couple on the edge of divorce. separate showers, even though he waited for you to start brushing his teeth, he turned around and did his own skincare. like?!!? but truth be told, you knew something was up once he got all rigid instead of melting in your arms like he usually did when you both woke up

breakfast was harder on him than it was on you. yes, it was sad that your boyfriend was playing a prank on you but really the joke is more on him. i mean you could see how his nails dug into his palms when he almost talked to you. you're starting to think he's a masochist. like that time when takuma tried no nut november last year. he waited up just to see the clock hit midnight and he made you promise not to tempt or tease him. short story even shorter, 12:01 am on november 1st, he was bridal style carrying you to the bedroom and you didn't even have to do anything

once you both finished eating your breakfast, takuma stood up to go to his office. he may call it his office, but in reality all he did was fool around and play games and during these times you would be sitting all pretty on his lap. you made eye contact with him and never broke it when he was going into the room. you heard the creak of his rolling chair as he sat down on it. seemingly unbothered, you turned your attention back onto your phone. your boyfriend was stealing not so secret glances at you, trying to telepathically tell you that he should be peppering kisses to your nape as he teaches you how to play the next section of the game he's on. in his mind, takuma had hoped that you would remember this part of your morning routine and follow him to his office, but since he's giving you the silent treatment, you decided not to do anything about it. and once you felt takuma's eyes land on your figure for the nth time, you decided to move perfectly out of sight onto the couch. and just like clockwork,

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE."

a shout bounces off the apartment walls, reaching your ears with ease. next to reach your ears were heavy stomps, getting louder and louder as they reached closer and closer. a heavy weight envelopes your body as you suck in air in surprise. light, feathered kisses consume your neck and face as your boyfriend mumbles apologies. "'m sorry baby... it was so hard... please believe me..."

you pull his head from the crevice of your neck and squish his face, "i missed you." mimicking your motions, takuma brought his lips to yours, "i missed you too. so bad. you don't even know."

jjk taglist

@blendingcaramal @gzchaos @theamazingrain @woah-girlz @voloslobotomyservice

@kyozvy @obessionofagrl @bubybubsters @sugurusbaobei @raindropsonrwses

@c-moon20-12 @saltynanobeanie @theamazingrain @synthiiiiis @ghostlyluminarycloud

@poopyyy @supernatrualqueen @bxrbie-jadeee @laitifly @discipleofthem

@cheesecake95 @strawberry-cherrypie @makeshiftproject @magiamad0ka @ncitygreen

@stillnotherapy @oniondrip @cloudy-yyy @definitely-not-leena @kidd3ath

@atigerandabear @russianremy @ohnoitsamistakee18 @ivy-vivii @ourfinalisation

@1ndee @yourhornysister @ancientimes @cupcaketeddybehr @tomikixd

@e-dollly @ozdramaqueen @nymphsdomain @beeksyurr @colorcode

@baekhyunsbestie @vorfreudevortex @leuriss @xaithings @jtoddlover

@corvid007 @babysoo-meu @nickxz444 @strawbzies @idkidk32

@meowforluv @walllflowerrrsss

[jji-lee]

mark was running a little late, okay actually he was running really late. you had set the meet up time at 7 but it was now 8:30. being an hour and a half late is fashionable... right? he had spent this extra time switching outfits left and right, his room was beginning to look like the aftermath of one of haechan's parties, without the passed out girls and naked men of course. what do people usually wear to casual meet ups? oh right! jisung had told him once that wearing the color red makes men appear more attractive to woman, or was it the other way around? there was no time for questioning jisung, mark had once again rummaged through his drawers and closet looking for a clean red shirt, and there it was! okay well, yes this shirt was from high school, so yes it was a little tight, and sure maybe it had a lame spiderman design on it, but he was running out of time and this was the last option, girls love superhero's, right?

before leaving he grabbed a new hoodie he had just brought (just in case the spiderman shirt was a fail), and banged loudly on the shared wall yelling a quick,

"i'm coming over now!"

wait shouldn't he just have knocked on your door? whatever, wall, door, you'll get the message. and you did indeed because as he stepped out of his dorm room, you were waiting for him leaning against your door.

"hi there, you finally ready?"

he chuckled nervously, embarrassed that he had kept you waiting.

"ha, yeah, sorry for the wait."

"nice shirt by the way."

you laughed as you turned to enter your dorm, he followed after you as you guided him inside. it was slightly larger than his, your kitchen and living room divided by an island counter, and two doors at the back of the dorm which he figured led to your room and bathroom, oh how he wished to see your room. you had simple decorations, but it was very clear that you were an english major. books adorned almost every surface, all with colorful little sticky tabs sticking out of them, he wondered what you wrote about. but his eyes landed on the coffee table in the middle of your living room, it was covered with all types of snacks and drinks ready to be eaten. you had noticed his staring,

"don't tell me a girls never gotten you snacks mark lee. i didn't know what you liked so i got a little bit of everything, get comfortable, you are gonna be talking about your crush, you can stop acting like i'm a stranger."

you gestured at the couch so he would sit, he didn't even notice he was still standing in your doorway. before he sat he handed you his hoodie nervously, watching as your eyebrows knitted with confusion,

"i didn't have time to get you something as a thank you, for uh, doing this, just take it please, i swear i haven't worn it"

you took the hoodie tentatively,

"fine, just so that you won't feel like you owe me, i'm doing this as a neighborly act of helpfulness, (being nosy) so don't worry about repaying me anymore."

he nodded quickly, embarrassingly quickly, but thankfully you didn't see him as you shoved the hoodie over your head and turned to walk towards your room. he stood up to follow you inside, thank god he's going to see your room, but you immediately turned around as if you read his mind,

"don't follow me! i'm just getting something, stay there!"

damn, he sat back down taking the time to look around a bit more and grab some snacks, hopefully his heart would calm down by the time you got back, but his heart rate only sped up as he heard you shuffle back to him, laptop in hand.

"alright markie, this is gonna teach you the basics of what is required to be an ideal man."

your determined expression eased his nerves a bit, maybe you'd actually give him tips on how to sneak his way into your heart, should he have brought a notebook?

𖦹 .ᐣ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ cryptic crush — [16] that's barbie bitch

previous — masterlist — next

notes : i admit my comfort show is barbie life in the dreamhouse. but if you don't know ken treats barbie like a queen and worships the ground she walks on!

taglist : @sunghoonsgfreal , @dalsosapple , @nanaxwi , @neverbeurs , @miichellehciim , @h-aechanie , @hizhu , @mystverse , @wonwootakemyheart , @ppeachyttae , @jae-n0 , @onlyhyunjin , @alethea-moon , @onyourmark-99 , @sunnystarred , @p-d1ddy , @hisrkive , @flwrs4marklee , @haechskiss , @rutheaflowers , @busy-daydreaming02 , @byeonwooseokabs , @bunniin , @odxrilove , @candied-czennie , @injunnie-lemon , @sunflowerhae , @nosungluv , @222brainrot , @vklve , @aerivrs , @slayhaechan , @aek1ra , @honeynanamin , @roseangelxfuma , @starfilledgaze , @meowtella , @grassbutneo , @hyuck-me , @lovm4rk , @minkyuncutie , @babystrlla , @tynlvr

[planchettewrites]

I'm Just Half Alive (In my Struggle to Survive Without You) - NSFW

Remy LeBeau (Gambit)/ AFAB!Reader

DESCRIPTION: It's your first night as Mrs. Remy Etienne LeBeau, and your new husband cannot wait to show you how much he adores you.

CONTENT: SMUT, Protected Sex (Always Wrap it Before you Tap It), Praise Kink (?), M!Overstimulation, AFAB Reader, She/Her Pronouns Used, French Used

A/N: This was a labor of love! I wrote this over two days, and I've only been in the X-Men fandom for three days. I immediately fell in love with Gambit and then found out there were so few fanfics of him. I decided to change that. My two song inspirations were "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra and "Life Eternal" by Ghost. Enjoy bbys! If you like this fic, reblogs are very much appreciated, as are likes and comments.

3.3K words | Minors DO NOT INTERACT

You smile as you look in the mirror. Today was arguably the best day of your life—you just became Mrs. Remy Etienne LeBeau, and nothing made you happier. 

Your wedding was exquisite. It occurred in one of the most beautiful venues in the French Quarter of New Orleans; the hall was rather large and historical. The hall was decorated with your favorite flowers—those your now husband had given you on your first date. The chandeliers in the building were all lit with candles that perfectly illuminated and complimented the ceremony. Your dress was similarly exquisite, and your closest friends were helping you pick it out. It was exactly what you wanted, and it fit absolutely perfectly—all with the help from the tailor’s shop, but that was beside the point. 

A majority of you and Remy’s coworkers and friends were there, even a sparse few from his days in the Thieves Guild. You were thrilled: everyone who loved you and Remy supported you on your big day. 

The ceremony was gorgeous. Filled with tears from both the guests and the wedding party, you two exchanged your vows. You spent about five minutes saying your vows to one another, making the other sob in the process. You did your best to speak some Cajun French in your speech, making Remy cry harder. Your husband wasn’t one to let his bravado falter, but seeing him in happy tears made you melt. You looked at your guest when he began to cry, and some of the toughest X-Men you knew were similarly in tears. In your vows, you both promised to share the rest of your beautiful, chaotic lives with each other, and come what may, your love will never falter. You two were bonded in holy matrimony; nothing could change that. 

Your first kiss as husband and wife was something you’d never forget. You both had practiced that dip for the past three months and had pulled it off perfectly. Of course, your husband, being your husband, kissed you harder and longer than you anticipated, which made your head spin and your heart soar. Walking back down the aisle, nearly dancing the whole way down, had suddenly made all the stress of planning the wedding worth it. 

The reception was a mere two hours ago, and it was a whirlwind of laughter, happiness, dance, and minor chaos. Your first dance was to “My Way of Life” by Frank Sinatra, and if the two of you weren’t looking lovingly at each other while dancing, one or the other was murmuring the words under their breath. That song perfectly encapsulated how you two felt about each other: you were each other’s way of life. Each day, you awoke to live, eat, and breathe each other. In some ways, you felt you were made for each other. As you were dancing, your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, your arms wrapped around his neck and his around your waist. 

After your first dance and the further rupture of applause and tears, Remy and you began to socialize with family and friends. Ever the charmer your husband was, recounting the stories to your family and friends of how we knew you were the one the moment your eyes locked. Some of the telepathics in your reception had told you not a single lie was spoken by your husband; he meant every single word he said. 

Now, there you were, looking into the mirror of the hotel you two stayed at. The two of you spared no expense regarding your honeymoon, and you both wanted to make sure it was as memorable as possible. 

The black velour robe you wore kept you comfortable as you took all the pins and accessories from your hair. The kind ladies doing your hair certainly knew what they were doing, but they sure had put a lot of bobby pins in your hair. As you recounted the night in your head as the final pin came out, a satisfied sigh escaped your lips. 

As if right on cue, your husband walked into the room, two champagne glasses in hand. “Joie de vivre,” he said to himself. You turned around to face him, a large smile growing on your face. Remy looked divine, with a white suit that fit him perfectly, your favorite flower on his lapel, and his hair tied back. You always thought your husband looked wonderful but particularly good in a three-piece suit. “Ma chérie, you look as beautiful as always.”

“Thank you, my dear.” you smiled as he handed you the glass of champagne. As you sipped, you watched your husband remove his jacket and put it in the closet, placing the flower on the bed’s side table. His movements were smooth like his words, and you heard him sing one of the songs from the reception under his breath. “How’s it going, sweetheart?” you ask him. 

Remy responded in his native tongue: “C’est tout un sucre, chérie. Happier than I’ve ever been.” He waltzes over to you and presses a kiss to the top of your head. 

“I love you, Remy.” you place your hand on his cheek, stroking it gently. 

“I love you too, darlin’.” he smiles. 

This was happiness—absolute happiness. Nothing felt more right than this; this was perfection. Here you were with the love of your life, and he was with his. 

“Now, chérie, you look absolutely stunning,” his charming timbre weakens your knees. His hands fell to your shoulders and ran up and down your arms. “And I think I need some alone time with my wife.” 

You show him a coy smile. “Your wife? Hmm…I think I can make that happen.”

As you sit up from your chair, Remy guides you to the large bed against the wall’s middle. The bed was easily a California King with beautiful black sheets and a duvet cover. Remy guided you to lie down, and you looked at him with a dorky look. Remy was gorgeous, with his red and black eyes, chestnut hair, and body built like Adonis himself. 

“What you smilin’ at, ma chérie?” he laughed, his hands finding your waist.

“You!” you gush. “You’re just so handsome, and kind, and brave, and…and really fucking sexy.”

He laughs again and begins to fiddle with the tie of your robe. “You think Gambit is sexy? Well, you’re a sight, too, doll.”After a look of silently asking to undress you, you nodded. As he undid your robe, he smiled when he saw what was underneath—a breathtaking lingerie set. The set was a bit more expensive than you were willing to spend, but you knew that some sacrifices needed to be made for your wedding. “You’re tryin’ to kill Gambit aintcha?”

“Maybe.” you laughed, propping yourself up to fully strip yourself of the robe. You watched as your husband began to unbutton his dress shirt, slowly and precisely, and never breaking eye contact. You knew your husband too well at this point—he was teasing you. He attempted to test your patience, and simultaneously, he gave you a show. You could feel your cheeks flush. Something about your husband made him impossible to resist—whether it was that Louisiana charm or his general personality, something about him beckoned you like a siren song. 

As the dress shirt hit the ground, Remy reached for your hands, helping you stand. He spun you around gently, getting a good look at your body in that clearly expensive white set. He wolf-whistled, which made you giggle. “Damn, chérie, you’re gonna be lucky if I don’t rip that off of ya.”

As you finally faced him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed your husband. These types of kisses felt like fireworks—maybe it was the slight kinetic energy that always radiated from Remy, or perhaps it was just the product of your love. If you had to guess, it was probably a mix of both. 

His hands fell to your waist, and he swiftly picked you up and placed you back on the bed. His lips traveled from yours to your neck, kissing at the crook of your neck to that sensitive spot he learned early on. Letting out a quiet moan, you could feel his smirk on your neck as he continued pressing kisses there. His hands explored your body freely, from massaging your perfect breasts to gently squeezing your thighs. The journey of his hands ended at the hem of your panties, a silent plea to let him take them off of you. Your response to that silent plea was another nod, and suddenly, your husband was off your neck and on his knees. 

Your husband did the hard work of spreading your legs for you, giving him a perfect view of your pussy. He licked his lips and smiled. “Bon appétit.” He pressed a lingering kiss to your knee before working down your thigh. Wrapping his arms around your thighs, he began to lap at your cunt with the vigor of a man starved. You let out a loud and staggered breath as your husband pulled his tongue from your entrance to your folds. He continued this movement until your breaths became ragged enough to where he decided it would be a good time to suck at your clit. 

“God, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” He paused for a second to say–almost as if he were saying it to himself and dived back into your core. You let out a deafening whine as he lapped at your clit, then sucked it particularly hard. 

He noticed your hips begin to buck at no discernible rhythm, and if there was one thing your husband was during sex, it was a talker. His thumb replaced his tongue, rubbing your clit in tight circles. “You like that, ma charmante?” your hips bucked against his fingers, and you let out a loud moan. “That’s it. Show me what you got, chérie. Work yourself on my fingers.”

“Shit!” you moaned. Your movements were becoming jerky—you were close. Remy immediately went back to lapping at your cunt, his finger making its way into your walls. Within seconds, you let out a moan you were sure the other patrons of the hotel could hear. 

You were practically dry-heaving, and within seconds of removing himself from your thighs, you pressed a heavy kiss to Remy’s lips. Your hands cupped his face, and one of his hands went to the small of your back. 

“God, Remy…” you heaved. Part of you couldn’t even form a sentence. You felt euphoric. Remy was always good with his tongue, both in his words and in his skills. 

“Yes, chérie?” Remy smiled. He was thoroughly enjoying this. You learned over the years that his pleasure came from your pleasure. You saw that in the way he’d do anything to make you laugh, you saw that in the way that he would cook for you, and you saw that in the way that sexually, your pleasure came first. 

“Remy, I need you.”

“Then take what is yours, darlin’.” 

You stood up carefully—your legs feeling like jelly—and pressed hard kisses to his lips. Dropping to your knees, you began to expertly unbuckle the oversized belt buckle of your husband’s belt. You place one hand on your husband’s large thigh as if to keep yourself steady. You could feel your mouth water at the thought of sucking his cock. You look up at him, your eyes meeting his. You begin to toy with his erection, palming him over his dress pants. As you finish unbuckling this belt, Remy slides his pants and underwear down to his ankles, swiftly kicking them off. 

You begin to move your hand up and down his shaft, hearing him let out a groan. A few strokes later and you lower your mouth onto his cock. You use your tongue to lick around the tip of his cock, and you lower yourself and take more of him into your mouth. He lets out a moan as you bob your head up and down on his shaft, taking as much of him as you could. You hollowed your mouth to create a light suction, which made your husband see stars. 

Remy finds his hands in your hair, letting you set your own pace. As you continued to worship his cock with your tongue, he began to blab. “Tu te sens si bien, chérie. So fucking good. Keep going…just like that. Fuck, keep going.”

As you swirl your tongue around the head of his cock one more time, he ruffles your hair. “Ma charmante et talentueuse femme, I need to fuck you.” he groaned. 

With a pop, you remove yourself from his cock with a devious smile on your face. “I’m all yours, Remy.” 

He guides you to the bed again and smacks your ass playfully. You turn to swat at him, and he laughs gently. You almost want to cry; you’re so happy. You are married to the love of your life; it’s your wedding night, and you are spending it with the man you love more than anything. Now, you were having your first night as husband and wife—you couldn’t be happier. As you find the headboard, you lean back and bend your knees, spreading your legs. You were on full display for your husband; by the looks of it, he certainly wasn’t complaining. 

“Hold on, ma chérie, one moment.” Remy started to search through the side table drawer, where he found what he was looking for: the box of condoms. You watched as he rolled the condom onto his cock, and you smiled to yourself. Remy had always been one for condoms; even times when you just wanted him to fuck you raw, he would kiss your hand and promise to always take care of you first. 

Crawling onto the bed, your husband towered over you, moving to hover above you. You looked up at him, your eyes full of need and lust. He pressed another kiss to your lips as he guided the head of his cock to your entrance. He moves his hips forward, and inch by inch, you begin to take him. You both moan at the feeling of euphoria. 

Remy continues to push his hips forward, beginning to rock in and out of you. He moves his hips slowly and deeply, as he prefers, to feel all of you as you take him. For the first time since your first dance, you feel your eyes well with tears. Remy is quick to catch onto this and stops his movements entirely. “Oh babydoll, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m just,” you start, “so happy to be yours, Remy.”

“Oh, these are happy tears!” he coos and places his hand on your cheek and the other on the headboard. He continues his ministrations in your cunt, feeling how you take him so, so well. You feel so full, and despite being with Remy for this long, you don’t think you’d ever get accustomed to this feeling. His cock is nestled between your walls, and each thrust urges you closer to an orgasm. 

Heat coils in your lower stomach as Remy thrusts into you, and for not the last time that evening, he talks you through the feeling. “Oh, ma femme, ma magnifique femme, you take me so well. And I love you, I love you so fucking much.”

“I’ve only been yours, love, and I’ll be yours for the rest of time.” you moan, repeating his sentiments out loud. 

“Damn straight. It sounds good coming from your lips. Gambit was gonna make you his, even when he first met you.” he groaned, the smirk on his face returning. “And I’ll be yours for the rest of time.”

You wrap your legs around your husband’s waist, letting him hit that spongy spot inside of you. His thrusts are starting to become faster, and with each thrust, he bucks his hips to ensure he is fully sheathed inside you. You’re close, so, so incredibly close. 

You yelp, “Fuck, Remy, I’m close, I’m really, really close.”

“Me too, darlin’.” he groans. His hand falls to your waist, and he begins to thrust far more erratically. He fucks you into him, slamming into you, causing you to moan his name. Loud. 

You’re nearly dry-heaving again as he fucks you. That heat in your stomach that had turned into a coil had started to unwind. You were coming close to another orgasm. 

“Fuck—I’m coming, shit!” Remy groans. Although, his pace doesn’t relent as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm.

Your legs tighten around him as that coil becomes completely undone. “Remy, shit, God, I love you. I love you so fuckingmuch. I am so fucking happy to be your wife! I can’t wait to make you a family!” you pant, your finish further slicking the space between you. 

“I love you so much. More than you know…and, and, I’ll love you forever, chérie!” His voice was shaky and erratic as he overstimulated himself to rock you through your orgasm. 

As you both begin to still, your breath erratic, you grab hold of him and just let his weight crash onto you. He buries his face in your shoulder, and you hear him let out a sigh. He mutters something to himself in his native tongue and presses a light kiss to your neck. You can hear him mutter one thing as he pushes himself upwards: “I love you.”

He nearly projects himself to your side, grabbing your hand and gently kissing your palm. “You’re my world. You truly are.” 

“I mean every word I said,” you murmured, so breathless you could barely speak, “I am really so happy to be your wife.”

“And I’m happy to be your husband.” he smiled, turning to face you. You pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and smiled. You were happy, and now you get to look forward to an eternity with the man you loved. Come what may, no matter how big or small, you would have Remy by your side. And that was going to be your way of life. 

[velvetures]

Heya I absolutely adore your writing and I would looove to request something like the “vulnerable” fic you wrote about ghost, but for könig instead. So much fluff and so many praises for our pretty boy, since I feel like he would show us his face but he’d be really anxious and self conscious about it. Feel free to decide if u wanna add nsfw content or not, I’m happy with whatever :))

Touch starved, intimacy craving cod boys will be the death of me 😔

Thank you in advance c:

Defenseless

a/n: so sorry I'm answering this so late, but i hope you enjoy nonetheless 🩶 this isn't the most in-depth... but I really tried to get the feels of it. summary: The Colonel has been stated as having something up his ass for nearly a week. no tw's that i know of...

The Colonel had been unusually insufferable for over a week at this point.

Barking demands, snarling at everyone in his path, making a total bloodbath out of the one mission assigned to him, and practically punishing all of his men during the two training sessions he’d deemed mandatory. He was on a tirade unlike anything you’d been witness to before, and there was hardly a place to escape from him. That only place being the garage which you had not-so-coincidentally been holed-up in after receiving a vehicle that was for less of better description… utterly fucked. But budget apparently didn’t allow for a replacement, so you’d been sent out to fix the helpless machine.

You didn’t necessarily consider yourself “co-workers” in the normal sense. You didn’t share office memos, or even work in office cubicles that shared a flimsy divider. The majority of your work with him came down to managing the transport to and from the base to their mission insertions. Be it helo or armor-truck, you were licensed and proficient. It gave you one of the most important jobs on base… Transporting the most dangerous men that KORTAC could throw at an enemy. And their massive, intimidating, hooded Colonel was included.

“I heard him chewing into a private’s ass for standing in front of his office door while he was sitting inside… with the door shut.” You overheard one of the mechanics chuckling from underneath of an LUV that had a leaking brake line.

A couple of the other guys joined in the conversation, ignoring your presence for all intensive purposes. You could only imagine that they were doing so simple because of how well attached you were to König in a more personal relationship. It had been nothing but professional and regulatory, but the sight of you lingering around the Colonel for more than absolutely necessary raised plenty of eyebrows around base. It just worked out that you had your entire top half of your body twisted in the engine bay of an MMPV that had taken enough IED damage to need a lot of maintenance and replacements. A pain in the ass you had been fussing over for hours just today; not even thinking about the fact that you’d been engrossed in the job for nearly a week.

“What’d you think Major?” One of the men calling out to you brought your attention away from a replacement coil-on-plug system sitting in a box, not touched yet on the wheel well to your right.

“About what?” You feign interest, not wanting to be caught listening in on conversation.

“The Colonel,” He clarified. “You seen whatever it is that has a stick up his ass sideways?”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t make a habit of checking the Colonel’s asshole…” If it’s not clear in your tone that you’re quite finished with the conversation, he doesn’t take notice.

“You’re pretty close with him aren’t you? Can’t you put in a good word for everyone on base… he’s practically frothing at the mouth!”

“I’m not a damn veterinarian either, Johns.” You warn, losing a bit of your patience.

It was one thing for König to swing his weight around like they were suggesting… it was another for him to have been struggling with something far more stressful than normal. Hell, it wouldn’t be the first time a soldier took out frustration of the job on his fellow officers. Especially if he got a reality check that displayed just how fragile the system really was in times of actual strain. Not that you’d even had the chance to see him since this “tirade” began, but you could only imagine that something more than the obvious was going on behind that bleach-stained hood over his head.

Girly gossip from the small group of mechanics went on long into the evening. Theories stretching from a mission gone bad to some kind of personal insult from a superior. While the solutions to his “problem” oftentimes resulted in some kind of reference to his sex life being dry, or outright nonexistent. It all sounded ridiculous to you between cranks of your socket wrench or the occasional shrill of an impact drill.

Thankfully you could shut out the sounds for the most part, but by the time you’d found a decent stopping place, the sky outside the hangar had blackened for the night and the temperature dropped far enough that your breath misted in front of your face. It was plenty late enough to head back to your quarters and get enough sleep before being right back under the hood at first light without feeling totally miserable. You didn’t expect to run into the Colonel on your way back to your room.

From the way he walked alone, you could tell that he was exhausted. The toes of his boots skimming the ground a little more than normal, as well as the slight hunch is his typically unforgiving posture. König looked like he’d had his ass kicked before being asked to dig his own grave and crawl out of it. Hearing everyone complaining about his sour mood made even more sense than before, and you couldn’t blame him for sharing around the misery. Besides, he was one of the highest-ranking people on base… it was his reluctant responsibility to deal with people almost every second of the day.

He deserved a damn break…

“Hey! Colonel!” You called out just loud enough to make him stop. Begin careful enough to not just call him by his first time in the case that someone was listening in. His head snapped in your direction and he stiffened for a moment before recognizing you in the dark shadows of the night and parking lot lamps.

“Major…”

Chills rose on your skin hearing his roughened voice rolling your title off his tongue. He wasn’t the slightest aggressive, and you couldn’t quite decide if he was just sparing you his anger, or just worn himself down too much to care. You jog the distance between you, feeling some tension in your lower back from being bent over that damn truck all day. Hopefully it wouldn’t make König’s notice… he was always very particular about injuries or overuse with his direct-connection officers.

“Wie war dein Tag?” His eyes crinkle at the corners like he’s smiling under his hood.

At least that’s what you imagine he’s doing.

“It was alright,” You nod giving him a smile. “Working on your MMPV. It’s in a hell of a state, and I’m not sure I can fix her.” You mutter a bit quieter, mind drifting to the vehicle and the limited amount of actual repairs you could do without needing some additional parts or funding allotted for the repairs. König seemed to pick up on it for a moment, but he also ended up having half of his mind somewhere else for the time being.

“I understand…” You couldn’t be sure if he meant simple exhaustion or a shared feeling of being much in the same state as your armored car. “I’m certain with your attention, it will do more than survive the blow.”

You giggle softly, resting your hands on your hips and digging your thumbs into your lower back as nonchalantly as possible to hide the way your digits pressed and rubbed at the immense pressure building right above your hipbones. Your shared mental and physical abuse wasn’t the slightest bit new. It always felt like when you got to see König for any respectable amount of time something was wrong with one or both of you. Normally, it made for plenty of good jokes and light teasing. A good one didn’t come to mind, and the Colonel didn’t appear in the mood for banter either. Really, his voice didn’t even sound like it wanted to be present. Fading in and out of gravelly and growled tones between German-accented syllables.

“Are you retiring for the night?” His blonde eyebrow raised up above the ripped eyehole of his mask. You spared a glance at the roof which shielded your quarters from the elements. Damn near two-hundred yards away, as well. You hated thinking about the walk.

“Yeah, I figure I should head that way. It’ll take me fifteen minutes to get there if I don’t drag myself across the concrete like I want to.”

König chuckles lowly, bringing another smile to your face. You hoped it was a decent relief from what was bothering him so badly to make base feel like a war zone. The thought of being his first sign of something positive in days only intensified your joy of the thought. He takes his own glance in the direction of your rooms and then looks back to you with something of an appraising edge. Even scanning the immediate area for good measure before visibly losing some of the façade hiding his exhaustion.

“Drill in the morning?” He asks quieter, nodding his head for you to follow alongside him.

“No. Just working on that damn truck…” He chuckles again, giving you a softer look out of the corner of his eye.

“You can always stay with me,” He says quite a bit more offhanded than the offer really was.

There was no fucking way regulation would stand for it even if it was nothing more than a platonic pajama party. The mere thought of “the Major” and “the Colonel” being spotted leaving the same bedroom after a night alone would have them both court-martialed and discharged. Yet König handed out the offer easier than he could hand out candy to small children on Halloween. It spun you for a loop. Resulting in your feet welding themselves to the ground and your eyes widening as you turn to look up at him in question as to if you’d actually heard him correctly.

“Stay with you… stay… like, overnight?” The sentence alone felt so forbidden yet enticing in your mouth. König shrugs. A little more of his tension developing in his shoulders as you visibly see himself second-guessing such an intimate thing quite randomly.

“It was just an offer, Major.” He clarifies. “My quarters are much closer to your garage… and I’ve got everything you might need for one night away from your own bed.” He added with a soothing kind of tone.

But it left you just as anticipatory. He wasn’t this forward. At least, not in such a personal way. He didn’t phrase things this… domestic, directly and he sure as hell hadn’t ever thought to try it on you above all others. There was something more to this, and it wasn’t just due to the distance to your own quarters compared to his. A benefit for him lingered somewhere just below the surface of truth he’d been willing to speak about. Naturally, you weren’t about to take the first step in pushing him. So instead, you took the choice of playing the long game and allowing him to take the lead.

He is your superior officer, after all.

“You know… I might just take you up on those amenities, Colonel.”

His eyes crinkle again, giving you a second opportunity to wonder what his pretty mouth must look like when he smiles.

“If you stay, my rank stays outside. I don’t prefer answering to a title in my own home.” His low voice rumbles with an affectionate tone. One that makes you nod your head automatically, like he’d whispered some spell over you.

“Of course, sir.”

His quarters weren’t what you expected.

Instead of the typical grey walls and standard furniture, he’d went about the process of either collecting some more personal things or brought them from wherever he’d lived before now. The bed was actually massive, swallowing your position that a king size bed was more than large enough. The four posts around it had been stained a dark, ash kind of color over heavily grained wood. A desk sat over against the wall underneath of the one window in the room and while it was stained the same color, carved designs on the drawers and feet were different from the bed frame style. The walls were void of any pictures or art, bit there was enough personal touches scattered around that it pieced together a bit more of the mystery behind the Colonel’s personal life.

“It’s really nice,” Your compliment falls into the room softly, almost like you’re attempting to keep the atmosphere untouched by your presence. “Where’d you get all of your things from?” It wasn’t until after asking that you realized it might be too personal of a question considering his attitude.

He looked around and shrugged. “Antique stores,” He ran a gloved hand over the top of a nightstand next to him. “I liked the idea of fixing things… and I had the knowledge of how to do it.” Your insides twisted in interest at the idea of König being well-versed in woodworking. Images of the massive man knelt down with sandpaper and reaching the smallest nooks in the carved wood. Meticulous. Unwilling to take a shortcut… it made more sense the longer you thought about it. He walked up behind you and rested his hands on your shoulders gently, letting out a deep breath.

“I didn’t… invite you here just for convenience.” He admitted a bit shyly, fingers twitching to squeeze your shoulders just a little harder.

Ah, there it is…

“What did you let me in for?” You reply, turning to look over your shoulder and up at him with a friendly little smile. “Because I know it wasn’t for chocolates on the pillows and breakfast in bed when I wake up.”

Those big, dark, eyes glittered a little. Framing just a small bit of humor in an otherwise dark, painted and highly guarded expression in a well-defended man. It was one of the things that had drawn you to him in the first place. Hs ability to find some softness in an otherwise harsh and cruel world of voluntary service to country. A damn shame he’d found this world instead of another one that would be more welcoming… less bloody… but then again. You’d also found this world too, even if it was your pathway to simple drive into warzones instead of running into them with a rifle and a desire to be the last man standing.

“I need some… help.” He could see the question and concern on your face, but instead of even uttering a single word, he just moves away from you and sits down on the edge of his bed. His eyes polarize away from you and down to the gloves that he began struggling to get off with slightly trembling hands.

You debated. Tossing around so many ideas in your head that you began dropping them. Juggling too many problems and possible solutions all at once. Hoping that he would speak up, or give you some sort of help. König wasn’t the best talker. Never had been really, but often he’d give away something that let you in on the issues in his mind. He was a stone wall tonight. Sitting like a marble statue with nothing more than softened eyes looking away from you with a palpable desire for help; yet no ability within himself to say how. The first thing you didn’t like was that he still had on all of that gear. Between the flak jacket with all of his spare mags, the helmet, steel-toed boots, multiple holsters and a slew of other things, there was far too much on him for you to get close enough to finding a crack in that armor.

“Can I?” Stepping closer, and pointing towards his helmet you ask gently, testing his comfort. He just nods, not even willing to look up at you to check what you were even wanting to do.

You unbuckle it carefully, not wanting to tug on his hood and sit it down next to him on the bed. But right as you sit it down, you see him reach up and tug the material off to drop it down inside the helmet. His blonde hair is a mess. A bit sweaty and matted down from a days work, it falls over his forehead and down to his nose. It softens the stark color of black face paint smeared over the whole top half of his face. The process of breaking down the soldier piece-by-piece takes less than five minutes, and that even included a small fight over whether or not you should be allowed to take off his boots due to how “demeaning” he felt it would look to have you kneel down in front of him like that. Thoughtful as you found the idea, you still pointed out he was your superior officer and it only made sense that you take care of the “unimportant” tasks for him. What you really didn’t know what that he watched you unlace his boots with every intention of letting you know that it felt even more intimate than letting you be one of the few people who could see his face in typical circumstances.

“That’s better… right?” You murmur, running your fingers through his hair to try and unstick the hair stuck together with sweat.

He nods. “Ja, viel besser.”

You smile at his German, sitting down next to him close enough that your thigh presses against his and your shoulder rests tightly next to him. “How about you take shower? I think washing off the day might help out a bit.”

König shakes his head no and quickly decides on a better idea. One that ends up with you laying flat on your back and a 6’10 man laying with his head on your stomach and his body nestled between your legs. His arms stay bent by his sides, resting weight on his elbows to resist laying his entire weight on you but his hands palm both sides of your ribs intentionally. His fingertips pressing between the dips of your ribs and the warm exhale of his breaths fanning against your stomach. It feels uncommonly desperate. Sensing the undeniable behavior of a man needing touch. Closeness from another human instead of the victory of a battle alone, or the knowledge that he’d lived another day without dying a horrible death. That thought alone has you wrapping your arms around his head and holding him tightly. Cradling him as well as you can to make him feel safe and protected even though his feet are hanging off the bed. Your heart pinches in regret that you’d not thought of coming to see him sooner. At least defending him in front of the others who’d been hellbent on making him out to be an asshole for having such a rough week.

Fuck.

He’d almost groveled like a puppy on its belly for you to touch him.

“You smell like cinnamon,” He mutters with his mouth slurred in the extra fabric of your shirt. “I like that… reminds me of my mother’s cinnamon rolls.” The memory is audible; softening his words and making that German accent thicker with exhaustion and comfort of being wrapped up in your arms.

You giggle very softly, pushing his hair off his face. “I’m surprised I don’t smell like grease.”

“Nein… du riechst wie zu hause.” His reply is gravelly and warm.

You close your eyes and settle back against the bed. “You know I don’t know German well enough to understand that…” He laughed softly, squeezing your sides with his massive hands.

“Do you think I’m not aware?” A laugh escaped you and as a retaliation you tapped the top of his head in a small, soft, shun. “I like saying things to you in German… it makes saying the truth easier sometimes.”

When his hands slid further under your body to fully encompass your waist, he buried his nose into your stomach and took a deep, relaxed breath. Nuzzling tighter into you and rubbing his face into your shirt like he was attempting to rub his scent and face paint off on your shirt. Neither option sounded the least bit bad. Wishing that he would fully immerse himself in you if it would make him feel better. Ease that misery festering in the back of his mind. Beginning to settle in, you started running your fingertips up and down his back. Smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt as you went, and tracing out the defined lines on his shoulder blades and rippled lats stretching over his ribs. Each pass either smoothing the pads of your fingertips, or giving him a slight scratch with blunted nails. Earning some German mutters and contented grumbles vibrating against your stomach.

“Du kilngst… wie ein… bär.” Your German feels quite juvenile, but König’s short huff of amusement gives you enough satisfaction that the lighthearted jab had reached him. He nips at your hip with his teeth, making you jump in surprise and giggle nervously.

“Isn’t there a saying… ‘don’t poke the bear?’.”

“I thought you were a King, not a bear?”

He shakes his head, a little slow on a comeback. “Either way, I’ll prove my dominance.”

You chuckle softly. “Don’t bother, I’m more than content to stay just like this.” You hum, returning to the smooth up and down movement of your hands on his wide expanse of a back.

“I’m happy to stay like this as well,” He mutters, stretching out a bit more. “However, I don’t like where you are.” Suddenly a bit nervous that you’d not been playing this situation properly, you freeze for a moment.

“I can move if you’d like?”

Suddenly a bit nervous that you’d not been playing this situation properly. He shifts a bit, putting more weight back onto his knees with a small grunt before snatching you up far enough to roll you onto your side and settle himself behind you as if you weren’t any bigger than a teddy bear meant for pure comfort and warmth. A muscled and tattooed arm vicegrips your chest and the other arm slides under your head to prop up your head. Instantly turning the role of comfort you’d been happy to provide into a much different situation.

“Can’t do much laying like this.” You protest a bit, attempting to turn over to face him so you can at least return to touching him.

“No, you fit right… shaped to me.” He slurs; tightened his grip and shook his head, resting his nose right in the crook of your neck. One hand slides under your shirt and reaches up far enough to rest his forearm against your chest and make a half-collar around your neck with his hand. He feels hot to the touch, and while you would’ve shied away from any other man touching you in such a way, König doing it felt right. As if there was something connecting you to him other than a simple recognition of the desire for a human connection that wasn’t painful. A different kind of dominance, creating a safe place for himself, but also for you in the way the curve of his hand fit right at the base of your throat.

“Touching you like this… it makes me feel more powerful than any firefight I’ve won.” He states, further resting his upper body against your back. “Like all of the mistakes i’ve made were worth making; just so I could have a moment to feel invincible laying in my own bed.”

It’s deep. Touching. Reaching right down into the bottom of your soul and wrenching it with an iron-grip so warm that you feel a heat rise in your throat.

“That sounds like something you should tell a woman you love, not just me.” You whisper, sliding your own hand under your shirt to hold his hand.

As if he could, he attempts to pull you tighter against him.

“I just did.”

reblogs & comments are appreciated <3

[harrytaylorluke]

Livestream: Matt Sturniolo.

- fluff

- kissing

Summary - you come over after work, exhausted, needing comfort.

Limerance - Yves Tumor (Song I listened to whilst writing it)

AN - wrote this at 3am, don’t really remember writing it. Just done a very brief check for spelling errors, it’s pretty short.

💞 ily take care of yourselves 💞

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

Pushing the front door closed, you kick your shoes off, running a hand through your hair with a sigh. You take a deep breath, something you’d done in the car multiple times to try and decompress after work whilst you were still on your own. The house had a cool warmth spreading throughout it, windows open as the sun set gently after a long, hot LA summer day.

You’d appreciated the pink and oranges swirling in the clouds as you pulled up to your boyfriends house. Honestly, these were your favourite parts of the day. After working a job where the majority of the workforce relied on you not fucking anything up, you liked the deep breaths you were allowed once you left.

You knew Matt had meetings in the morning and was working on the marketing for his newest project in the afternoon, but those rarely ran past six ish. It was now coming up to half eight, so you knew exactly what he’d be doing.

With an overly large bag of wing stop in one hand and your keys, bag and coat in the other, you walked through the boys apartment. You could hear the most noise coming from one room, Matts. A faint shout from Chris about a “fucking idiot” who was “shooting at anything” told you all you needed.

Pushing the door open with your elbow to see Nick sat on Matt’s bed and Chris stood over Matts shoulder. The man you’d been desperate to be in the safe arms of again ever since pulling yourself out of them at 6am that morning, sat at his desk. A brown ‘fresh love’ hoodie and grey sweatpants adorned his body, his hair messy from pulling at it for the last hour or so.

“Y/n” Nick shouted excitedly as you came into view, dragging the last letter of your name out slightly.

“Hey y/n” came from Chris, earning a brief look up before getting his head back into the (seemingly very intense) game of fortnite Matt was playing.

“Hey guys” you puffed out, another sigh, insinuating you’d had a rough day. Placing the bag of wing stop near Matt’s bed to which both Chris and Nick started unpacking. Graciously shouting a few thank you’s and joking ‘i love you’s.

“Hey baby” Matt said as you approached him, after throwing your belongings down on the bed. You checked if the stream is paused before collapsing onto his lap. His arms wrap gently around your waist, your arms tucked around his neck.

He cradles you, humming as you embrace each other.

“I missed you” you breath out, needier than you’d realised. His soft scent of cologne and body wash radiating from where your head was, pushed into the crook of his neck.

“You have no idea” he says, squeezing you closer to him as you tuck your legs up slightly. Both taking deep breaths, happy to be around each other. The both of you had been working a lot lately, rarely getting to spend time like this. The faint sound of Nick and Chris laughing, arguing and munching is heard with the games lobby music playing.

I feels like it’s just you two for a minute, you’ve felt the most relaxed and safest you’ve felt all day. Even if your underwear was riding up, you’re tights had been itching you and your bra was digging into your ribs.

“How’s the game going” you say quietly into his neck as he rubs his hand up and down your back.

“It’s okay, we’ve been playing for hours now so I’m about done” he says with a slight smile on his face. “Thank you for bringing food home, you didn’t have to we could have ordered it” he says gently again. He could tell you were exhausted, the way you melted into him the second you saw him and your first words being ‘i miss you’.

“That’s okay” you say, sleepily, wanting to drift off right there. “If you’re sure you’re done, could we maybe put a movie on”.

“Of course sweetheart” is all he said, “I’ll just finish this off and we’ll pick one out”. You hummed in agreement. Matt didn’t want you to move, but you usually didn’t just lie on him whilst he streamed. Sometimes in a video or two you’d fallen asleep on him when you’d all gone on road trips, but rarely.

“Baby, im gonna start the stream again”

“Could I stay here” you whisper, moving your hands from around his neck to curl into yourself, another going around his waist.

“That’s okay with me if it’s okay with you” he says, grabbing a blanket to put over you, as you’re skirt had rolled up slightly, before starting the game again.

Chris and Nick come back over, handing you some food to eat every now and again. Whilst Matt somehow multi tasks eating, gaming and making sure you’re okay every five minutes.

You lie against his chest, munching what’s left in your mouth, eyes closed, before you start to drift off slightly.

ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ

Matts love language was undoubtedly physical touch, if you were there he was touching you. Not in a sexual way, in a loving way. Holding hands, playing with your fingers, rubbing your arm, drawing shapes on your skin. Anything.

When the low hum of his computer died down and the room was quiet, Nick and Chris back in their own rooms for the night, and matts hand stayed rubbing against your thigh, you felt… content.

You peal your eyes open slowly, your skirt now around your waist with the blanket pulled up to your chest, still on Matts lap.

“Hi honey, should we get in bed” he asks, sweetly, as you stretch your arms out.

A ‘mhm’ leaves your mouth, getting up slowly and walking to get some clothes. You decide on one of his t-shirts and an old pair of pyjama shorts. Strolling to the bathroom and removing your makeup. Matt joined you to brush his teeth, standing behind you with one hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest.

The low hum of the song playing on your phones has you swaying gently, Matt jokingly singing a few words through his toothpaste.

You stand there together for a few minutes, your back pressed against his chest. It’s domestic, peaceful and lovely.

Getting changed together, speaking a few words, both getting tired. You both tidy up the mess made from the night before slipping into the cold bed.

His warm bedroom lamp illuminates his side of the room, as you both lay facing one another. The clock reads 11pm, realising they must have played a few more games after you fell asleep.

“I missed you today, more than you know” he says, inches away from your face, one arm resting under his head, the other drawing circles on your arm.

“I missed you too” you say back.

“I missed everything about you. It’s different when you’re here. It’s fun but.. it’s calm, it’s like my head goes quiet” he says, still drawing soft doodles on your bicep.

“I know what you mean” you say, with a slight, tired smile. You knew what he meant, you tried not to think about him during the day, never really texting him or you’d end up wanting to leave work.

“You’re like home” you whisper, quietly. He smiles.

You move forward kissing his cheek and nuzzling yourself into his neck. He wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your head.

You sit like this for awhile, breathing each other in. There were times when you were animals, desperate and horny for each other. There were times when your stomach hurt from laughing so hard. There were times you could murder one another out of anger.

And then, there were times like this, the peace, the quiet. The unmatchable love that bounced between the two of you, it went quiet, it absorbed itself into each one of you.

The summer rain had started pouring whilst you slept in his arms, battering and storming outside, it was a safe haven.

Matt lifts your chin gently, a smile of appreciation on his face as your lips gently come together. A sweet, loving kiss that both of you had so desperately needed without knowing it. Your last one being so brief, with a whisper of “goodbye, I love you” after, closing the door on the half asleep boy.

Your hands moved up over his neck, your leg resting over his hip and his under your leg. What you liked to call the ‘koala’. His arms wrap around your waist, chests pressed against each other as you kiss.

You’re so impossibly close, so connected, like you’re souls are slow dancing.

Your heads turn as your lips melt together, pushing yourself up to get any closer. His hands are soft against you, your tongues are gentle in one another mouths. Slow, loving kisses that take their time. Your lips appreciating each other.

The rain fades out, eventually you rest yourselves in the other arms, peaceful, happy and inevitably, taken over by sleep.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

[On request, I wrote Tommy in the episode]

Tommy wasn't an EMT, and it looked like that was what was needed most after Athena had landed the plane. The woman whom he - how long had it been now? - had rescued from a sinking cruise ship. How did she always get herself into such absurd situations? In any case, he’d been on duty anyway when all available stations were called to the highway. Because an airplane was going to land there. The chances of this actually working were extremely slim in his opinion, but here they were, a quick triage and apparently hardly any seriously injured passengers later. 

There was orderly chaos, as always during a major operation, and Tommy was focused. So much so that he almost missed Evan running past him. The man half-turned as he ran, almost stumbled, caught himself again and stopped with his arms still flailing. 

“Tommy!”

It wasn't that big grin that made Tommy's heart beat faster, though it almost was – very blue eyes, tousled curls, those ultra-long legs, simply everything about the man was an eye-catcher. Evan in action was yet another special sight. He was brimming with adrenaline, radiating from within; he was exactly where he wanted to be, and that was extremely attractive. 

“She did it,” was all Tommy managed to say.

There were a lot of other things he could have said, of course, but most of them were inappropriate, and time was of the essence. The plane was smoking, it wasn't over yet. 

“She did,” Evan confirmed with that irresistible grin, with that gleam in his eyes that spoke of pride in someone he was very fond of. 

Tommy could only hope that one day he would be the cause for that gleam in Evan's eyes. Ever since he’d seen him smile for the first time, he’d wanted to be the one to turn his sweet pout into a smile. Even now, with all the commotion and smoldering danger still hanging over the people on the highway - not to mention the woman who was still in the cockpit - he couldn't help but cherish the warmth in his heart just by looking at Evan. He'd grown too soft, probably, but it wasn't a bad thing, that’s what life had told him. Life, and love. Though that was a word stored far back in his heart, at least for now. 

“I have to go, the cap... I mean Bobby…”

He was adorable, and this was not the time nor place to tell him, but Evan was Evan, he was a surprise box. He approached him, it almost looked like a leap; then he crushed his lips to Tommy's. It was the shortest and almost most violent kiss he had ever experienced, but that didn't matter. Tommy was so full of adrenaline himself, so close to saying it, but this time his mind would prevail over his heart because it was right. 

"Hurry up," he said, and Evan beamed again, turned and ran. 

Just before the plane, he turned around once more, grinned and waved briefly, then he disappeared from Tommy's field of vision. 

“Sweet, love at the workplace.”

Lucy - who shouldn't be here any more than he was, but couldn't help herself any more than he could - stood behind him, a mocking yet good-natured smile on her lips. 

“Heard you know your way around that,” Tommy grinned and left her standing there. 

A few hours later, the sun had already risen over LA, heralding another hot morning. Tommy lowered the blinds of his house to lock it out. He didn't mind sleeping during the day after a shift, but after this assignment it wasn't at all clear whether he’d be able to find rest soon. It wasn't every day that a plane landed on the highway. What you almost had to reckon with, however, were the numerous overstrained drivers who wedged into each other when the road was cleared, making it necessary to call out the emergency services again. 

Tommy was just thinking about whether he should have a coffee or just pull a pillow over his head when there was a knock. It was a frantic knock, urgent, and he sighed. What the hell…

“Gerrard is back,” Evan sputtered as soon as the door opened. The look on his face was... almost anxious. “He discharged himself from hospital and left us standing at attention at the end of shift.”

“What?” asked Tommy, slightly confused.

He opened the door wide, but Evan just stood there with a desperate look in his eyes.

“Tommy,” he said, and now Tommy was slightly worried. “You… you’ll never believe what he said.”

@supercalime

[solzscribblez]

0.1 beautiful women + roommates from hell introductions off balance masterlist

yn: second year business and languages student. member of the university of tokyo gymnastics team. in high school, she was a member of the under 19 national team. right now she is completely laser focused on qualifying for the olympic qualifiers meet. has absolutely terrible health habits and has no intention of changing them. has problems with hypermobility and likes to pretend they don't exist until she's injured. truly has no idea how she ended up in this apartment.

kiyoko shimizu: third year sport management major. one of yns closest friends and her closest friend on the gymnastics team. yachi moved in with her after kiyokos og roommate dropped out and yachi absolutely hated her roommate.

yachi hitoka: 1st year marketing and graphic design major. shared a lot of core classes with yn first semester. (yn introdued yachi and kiyoko) big art fan. drags kiyoko and yn to art shows whenever they dont have practice.

nishinoya yuu: roommate no. 1. 2nd year world languages major. yn and nishinoya are the most obnoxious best friends you will ever meet- nishinoya wanted to get those matching half heart BFF necklaces but yn forced him to settle for bracelets. they match each others freak fr. they share a room in the apartment and think its the funniest thing in the world to have matching bedsheets. nishinoya will sometimes go to free practice with her and try to learn gymanstics but he is genuinely so terrible at it that she begs him not to go. (he goes anyway) (so far, he has broken three toes).

kozume kenma: roommate no. 2. 2nd year business major but spends all of his time streaming or playing video games. has an incredibly complex gaming system and every single roommate is absolutely terrified of messing with it. quit volleyball after highschool to focus on streaming.

tsukishima kei: roommate no. 3. first year anthropology major. shares a room with tadashi. shares a bunk bed (bottom bunk) but would rather die than admit it. absolute nightmare roommate. takes hour long hot showers and never does his chores on the chore wheel. only downloaded twitter becuase his roommates have a habit of calling house meetings on twitter and making big executive decisions without him. (the apartment now has a bathtub and stained glass windows in the kitchen. he is not happy)

yamaguchi tadashi: roommate no. 4. first year business major. king of the chore wheel. dream roommate. shares a bunk bed with tsukishima (top bunk) goes to girls nights with yn, yachi, and kiyoko because he's an INSANE gossip. loves a good juicy story.

notes:

-holy crap that took me a lot longer than i thought

-yn answered an ad off facebook that yamaguchi wrote becuase she really thought a girl wrote it

-kenma has his own room because he pays the most in rent (and he needs his own space to stream) technically, his name is on the lease

-i am not at all happy with the texting part im def gonna rewrite it later but im tripping off steroids right now so i can live with it

[goldenwitherphoenix13]

(Sighs) no one asked for it, but Im gonna share it anyways because no ones asked for it and i want to put an end to this Canary curse debockal.

Here is my interpretation of Canary Jimmy in the life series, the canary curse and why i think the fandom has flanderised it. Its extensive, its repetitive, its probably inaccurate, but I want to both clear up confusion on what the curse is and then share my own interpretation. Spoilers below for today's session of Wild Life, if only brief.

The Canary in the coalmine is all about how when the Canary starts to go quiet or die, that there is danger about. There is poison in the air. That if the coal miners do not evacuate, then they will die.

And when Jimmy was seen bringing death wherever he went, or being out first in the first 4 seasons of the life series, people started to dub him as "the canary" and say he was cursed with "the canary curse". But I think the Canary curse has lost its meaning by now. Its been so consumed by the idea of it just being about Jimmy dying first that I think that we all forgot that it's first ever mention was during Scar, Grian and Joel's series, 100 hours in hardcore minecraft, was not solely about him dying first.

Let's recap.

Part way through the 100 hours series, Scar had to go and get some major surgery done, so he couldn't play on the server for a while. So, while Scar was away, Grian and Joel invited some other friends on to fill the void as they waited for their friend to return. The first friend they invited of was Jimmy and they decided to go to a woodland mansion where this resulted in Grian dying.

This event had happened not too long after the finale of Empires season 1, Where Jimmy (and Fwhip) had just accidentally destroyed the entire server, plunging all the kingdoms into a multitude of disasters and starting the event known as the rapture.

And, remember, this series occurred just after Last life, the second season of the life's series, had ended, where Jimmy had been out the series first twice.

It was ALL of these events that lead to the creation of the fandom dubbing Jimmy as a canary. And the Canary curse was born.

Jimmy then proceeded to die first for 2 more seasons of the life series. And that is when the canary became canon as multiple people started referring to Jimmy being cursed, including Jimmy himself, and Martyn wrote it into his lore. It's also where alot of the fans started to associate the cursecwith just the lifecseries, not really remembering its connections other series.

Back to present day. Jimmy has now gone 2 seasons of the life series and an April fools special without dying first, which is amazing! I'm very proud of him for that! But the fandom feels divided on this, half of them saying him not dying first has broken the curse and now it can't be used as a headcanon anymore, and the other half saying how him breaking it is temporary or that it's only out the first stage and now he's doomed to die second. And to all of you I say... no. No it hasn't ruined the canary hybrid headcanons, no it hadn't been taken to stage 2, the canary curse was NEVER JUST about Jimmy dying first, because it was never just about the life series. The original canary comparisons mentioned Empires and 100 hours, and he never permadied first in either of those series.

Let's go back to the idiom. Canary in a coal mine.

This idiom is based of of a real life practice of taking living, breathing canaries into the coal mines. Coal miners wanted to keep down the costs of having to breed and buy new canaries every time one died, and didnt want to always leave the cute birds that kept them company to die. Its like just using a pet as death foder. They wanted to keep these birds alive for the sake of keeping costs lower and for not killing of the adorable birds. So what would they do? They made chambers to keep the birds alive after they passed out. Oxygen tanks or medicine chambers basically. The canaries didn't always die in the coal mines. They sometimes just got very sick to the point of fainting and passing out, but they could be saved. The canaries don't always need to die to be a warning. They just needed to go quiet. Coming close to death and being kept alive is still a functionable canary system.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Jimmy isn't cursed as a canary to die first out of everyone. That was never the case. To me, the canary curse has always been about one thing.

The chaos after the canary falls silent. Not after it dies. After it falls silent, after it comes close to death. The curse was never for him. It was a curse on EVERYONE. And Jimmy turning red is enough to trigger it. Jimmy being close to death but not dead yet is enough to trigger the chaos. Jimmy is a canary. His curse was never to die, his curse was never even truly a curse. It was a warning that the games were in danger of ending. That the chaos had only just begun.

And do you know what the cherry on top of all of this is?

The Canary doesn't need to die at all for the coal miners to die.

There are many, many, many ways for coal miners to die in the coal mines. A cave in could crush them, they could find a massive cave that they could fall into, they could turn on and attack eachother. But the Canary can be spared. The Canary may die eventually. Gases or hunger or predators may find it. But it could be the last one to go when the circumstances line up.

It's why I still believe in Canary Jimmy, and why I think he can still win a life series simultaneously. Because it doesn't matter what place he comes at, the canary curse will always trigger. It was never about how Jimmy was "so bad at the game" that he died first. It was never about how the watchers kill him every season because its funny. It was about the death and destruction that hovered around him. The doomsday that chaos brings.

And do you know what's even better? Jimmy is completely unaware of this purpose. He thinks the curse was him dying first because that's what the fans made it out to be.

Jimmy broke this unlucky death streak, but he did not break the canary curse.

Because the canary curse was never JUST for him. It is EVERYONES problem.

Tldr; the canary curse has lost its original meaning and been flanderised to the point of people forgetting that its origins don't require Jimmy to die first and it doesnt need to end in tragedy. The Canary curse is just everyone's problem, including Jimmy, but also including everyone else, and no one has realised this yet. Not even Jimmy. They just think his curse is him dying. But he doesn't even need to die to let the "curse" activate. His presence is more than enough, and even with it he can still win. He's just gotta find the right time.

Anyway I'm done rambling, I hope you guys enjoy my thoughts, I'm going to go finish my Uni Presentation and Evaluations of my project!

[luellasplanet]

crowded and confused. (aggie beever-jones & grace clinton)

word count: 1k

this was one of the fics i wrote when i got drunk and i’ve tried to make it make sense but i really don’t think it does

on your first ever lioness u16 camp you were paired up to room with grace. your shy nature hindered your ability to make friends meaning you followed poor grace around like a lost puppy for the first four days of camp, before you properly started interacting with the rest of the team. much to the relief of the brunette, who could only handle a few days without interacting with everyone else before she lost her mind.

your friendship with aggie in the beginning was slightly more forced than yours and grace’s. due to you playing in a forward position it meant that you and the blonde were constantly having to work on both your off and on the field connection.

but once you had warmed up to the blonde you had spent the majority of your time during the youth group stages with her.

and then even more time with aggie when you moved from your grassroots club to chelsea shortly after that camp.

even four years later you and aggie remained close friends. the two of you had moved in together at the beginning of the 23/24 season following the end of your loan spells at your respective clubs.

during your champions league debut in the first half of the season you had gone down with a broken foot after landing awkwardly during a corner. which meant that you were bedridden for a few weeks before the doctor gave you the all clear to slowly get back to daily life.

the rhythmic four knocks, on your front door, that were repeated in a specific pattern, meant that you knew exactly who was at your door. “oh that’s gracie, i’ll go open for her.” but before you had the chance to stand up aggie was up to open the door, but not before gently pushing you back down onto the bar stool.

ever since you had gone down during the match aggie had been at your aid, offering hugs, food, water, hoodies, anything that you needed she was there within seconds. going with you to all your physio appointments and making sure to keep a close eye on you during gym sessions.

“oh! hey aggie wasn’t expecting to see you here, is y/n home?” slightly pushing past the blonde she made her way into the living room and kitchen area when she saw your crutches placed haphazardly against the couch.

grace had brought a gift basket full of chocolates, hot chocolate bombs, one of her hoodies and your favourite candles plus flowers.

“hey y/n/n, how are you feeling darling?” setting the basket down onto the chair that aggie was previously sitting on in order to have free hands to give you a hug.

aggie busied herself on the other side of the counter, quickly making herself a cup of tea before making her way into her room without even sparing a second glance at the two of you.

three hours later after catching up you and grace had arranged to go out for dinner next saturday so she could introduce you to some of her spurs teammates. “bye gracie, i’ll see you next weekend!” closing the front door softly before locking it and throwing the key onto the countertop.

throughout those three hours there was still no sight of your blonde roommate. after a very painfully slow walk upstairs and across the hallway you knocked on aggie’s door.

before you could even start talking she was already fussing over you walking upstairs by yourself. “you’ve been on your feet too much, you should sit down. you still aren’t allowed to put pressure on your foot properly.” dragging you over to her bed before sitting on it next to you.

the silence in the room was deafening but you mustered up the courage to ask where she had disappeared to. “wanna tell me why you vanished into thin air when gracie came to visit?”

you were met with radio silence. which had left you ever more confused than before. you convinced yourself that you were being ridiculous, aggie and grace were friends, always had been and always will be.

you had slotted in and turned the dynamic duo into the troublesome trio. always getting in trouble for goofing off during training and getting told that the three of you had to speak to more than just each other at camps.

but the disappearing act continued every time that grace came over aggie suddenly had twenty other things to do instead of hanging out with her ‘two best friends.’

same goes for grace. if you invited her anywhere and mentioned that aggie was going she suddenly had to rain check on the plan’s because ‘something came up.’

utter bullshit.

and anytime you could get them in a room together they sat on either side of you constantly trying to win your attention.

whether it was a hand on your thigh, an arm around the back of your chair or offering to do something for you.

it was exhausting. yet you didn’t know what to do, talking to them seemed the reasonable decision but being able to get them into a room together was the difficult part.

after many many feeble attempts to get them to talk to one another you turned to your teammates for help. millie and niamh had helped you realise that maybe both aggie and grace liked you more than just a friend.

but how could you choose just one of them?

there was aggie with her infectious smile and caring nature that made your heart flutter every time you were with her. but then there was also grace who had the best jokes and her constant need for physical affection had you swooning.

there was just no possible way that you could pick between the two.

[the-barricade]

First Meet

malleus draconia x reader

reader is not yuu and is placed in pomefiore

summary: you’re a new student at NRC who caught the attention of malleus draconia, and he makes it his mission to recruit you for his club and get to know you.

p.s this is a repost of an older fic I wrote and then deleted, in case it seems familiar to anyone. The structuring may be different, though.

—————————————

The hustle and bustle in and around the hallways of NRC was something you’d have to grow used to, being a new student here was exciting, and also the cause of a little nervousness. It was reminiscent of your first day at school. It was of little surprise to you when you were initially placed in pomefiore, despite it seeming that many of the students there were carbon copies of each other and that you didn’t perfectly fit the mould, you appreciated beauty and perfection.

No longer feeling like a deer in headlights, now that your first couple of days had past, you felt it necessary to go for a wander, and explore the school you were destined to spend the next four years in. It was a spectacle to behold, the school was made in resemblance of the finest castles and littered with intricacies despite its large size. At certain points and corners of the school, you could even observe many different gargoyles and grotesques and even though you may not have not known a lot about them or the differences, they caught the interest of your artistic eye.

After nightfall, you headed out with a canvas in tow. Partly (mostly) because you didn’t want to appear strange by painting a picture behind the school, during the middle of the day, but there was also a nice serenity that accompanied the quiet of the night and the dark, enthralling sky, lit with stars.

Malleus was out on one his daily, late-night escapades, and this time saw an unfamiliar person en route. Usually, this would be something to ignore, but this time it was a little different. They were quite studiously examining a gargoyle, and eloquently relaying it’s features onto a canvas.

Perhaps clouded in a moment of hope, the fae forewent any thoughts that the person may not have any personal interest in gargoyles, but rather just the art that they were to produce, instead, he set his sights on recruiting them as a member of his club.

After roughly an hour and a half had passed since you’d initially went out, you decided it was time to pack up and go back to pomefiore. You opened the door to your room quietly, careful not to wake any of your other roommates up, and went to sleep - completely unaware of who you’ve recently intrigued.

Morning arrived, and the sunlight seeped through the windows, letting you know it was time to wake. After letting your eyes adjust to the light, you got up and readied yourself for the day. There was of course still a hint of mysticism that accompanied attending NRC, but there was also a newly found comfort in the normalcy you’d just attained.

Having finished a fair share of your classes for the day without any major difficulty, your next stop was to the cafeteria for lunch. There were always a surprising amount of options available, and you were in the middle of deciding which one to pick, when something - or rather someone would happen to snap your newfound normalcy right in half.

Wait, what was happening right now? THE Malleus Draconia had waltzed up to you and started talking out of nowhere? Well, this was unexpected. You looked around to make sure he was definitely talking to you, but with how he was staring right at you and how everyone else was occupied with their own business, he was definitely talking to you.

“And I do believe that you would make a good member of the Gargoyle Study Club, if you would like to join.”

Oh, oops. You hadn’t really listened to most of what he’d said, but why was he wanting you to join a study club for gargoyles? Was that even a thing? You looked up at him, only to notice the seriousness on his face. It seemed that this was something he truly cares about, and honestly despite the randomness of it all, you couldn’t help but find it a little cute. Not wanting the situation to turn awkward and not knowing what else to say, you plastered a dorky smile on your face and said “Sure, I can do that!”

His eyes started to sparkle like a child on Christmas at your response, before he nodded and walked away again. This was actually a pretty good thing, in all honesty! With how exclusive and secluded this school is, you didn’t have any previous connections or friendships with anyone around, and joining a club would be a great way to solve the issue.

There was one small problem though, you couldn’t recall Malleus giving any details about when or where the club was. You’d just have to find out on your own, after you’ve eaten your lunch, that was.

The day had ended and ultimately you’d obtained no new information about said club, it seemed like most people didn’t even know that there was a gargoyle study club. Could this have just been an annoying prank?

Maybe, but he did seem quite serious… it was a good thing you’d made a mental note of the green band around his arm when he’d originally started talking to you. He was a diasomnia student, and tomorrow was a Saturday. That was your mind made up, you’d just have to ask Malleus for details about the club yourself.

Once again, daytime struck and you got ready, this time heading for diasomnia, instead of the main building of NRC. When you arrived, you noticed that their dormitory was also quite fantastical, it was however quite different from the interior of pomefiore.

Now that you were here, you felt like a fish out of water, and you also couldn’t be sure if malleus would even be here or where he would be, but it’s not like you’d be here for long anyways. Your eyes landed on a tall boy, that stood out due to his light green hair that was slicked back. Might as well ask him, right?

Hesitantly you walked up to him and greeted him to catch his attention. As if he could immediately tell you weren’t a student of his dorm, he gazed at you with a look of scrutiny. …aha, that was off-putting but you’d already started talking to him, might as well finish it, right? “Hi, do you know where I can find malleus, or if he’s even here?” Seemingly upon hearing the fae’s name, the green-haired boy went off on a tangent. Switching between droning on about how perfect malleus is and how a ‘mere human’ shouldn’t even think of interacting with him. It was as if he was having an argument with himself, and if his boisterous shouting wasn’t directed towards you, would’ve been quite funny.

Upon hearing the commotion, another boy you hadn’t seen before decided to make an appearance. He asked you why you were looking for their dorm leader, but not before scolding the other boy for making a commotion before even hearing you out. You explained that you were looking for him to ask for details about the club he’d invited to you, much to the surprise of the two infront of you.

The second boy simply let out a chuckle, “I think our Malleus is finally making friends! You’ll be able to find him in the library.” You nodded and thanked the boy before leaving, diasomnia having certainly left a unique impression on you. After arriving at the library, it didn’t take long to find the man you’d been looking for. He was sitting in the library, focused on reading a cook-book. He looked quite elegant and paired with his focus and not wanting to disrupt his reading, you were slightly apprehensive about approaching him.

Luckily or unluckily, you didn’t have to, because he picked up on your absentminded staring, and approached you himself. “Did you need something, Y/N?”

“Oh, yeah! It’s about that club you mentioned, I wasn’t too sure about when or where it was, or even if I needed to officially sign up, I was wondering if you could tell me about it?”

Malleus looked contemplative for a second before speaking, “Yes, it seems that I’ve neglected to properly inform you.” Malleus continued, giving you the details on the club, and to your surprise it seemed that the club was in fact, a real thing. Solving the mystery of the gargoyle club let you enjoy the rest of your weekend, all the way up until Monday.

Once again, it was lunch, and this time you were going to spend it with malleus whilst studying gargoyles. You walked out to the front of the school, spotted malleus, and said hello. You were however, wondering where everyone else was. When you asked, malleus kept up a neutral facade, but felt slightly defeated in having to say, “regrettably we are the only two current members”

Oh, well I guess that explains why barely anyone knew about the club. It seemed kind of sad though, being the only one fascinated enough with gargoyles and running a club all by himself, wasn’t he lonely?

No matter, the two of you would just have to make the most of it! Malleus showed you many different gargoyles around the school, it was nice for you, getting to discover a little more of NRC, though Malleus was also a little surprised by how inquisitive you were - his assumption that you were also a gargoyle enthusiast seems to have been incorrect.

Regardless, he enjoyed it, your lack of knowledge surrounding the subject allowed him to discuss and explain his passion to another person who was willing to listen. To you, it was quite endearing how someone regarded as a person to be scared of was also at heart just another normal person, getting incredibly excited and focused about an unusual topic.

These meetings, as a club activity were weekly, but it didn’t take very long for you and malleus to genuinely become friends, every now and then you’d wave to each other in the halls - and your weekly meet-ups were no longer strictly about gargoyles. The two of you would take the time to talk about your day or anything new catching either of your interests.

A couple of months into your friendship, you’d realised you hadn’t even exchanged numbers with malleus, so you asked him about it. Instead of getting his phone number though, you found that he was truly quite… hopeless with technology. This was unexpected for someone like malleus, considering how knowledgeable and apt he was with just about everything. One thing it wasn’t though, was an issue.

It was your turn to take the dragon man by surprise when you’d sent a carrier pigeon to his window, with a letter clutched between its claws. Not having many friends here aside from his dorm-mates, who could freely speak to him in person, had him questioning who the letter was from, could it have been someone from Briar Valley? No, it was just you, his first friend.

The letter was penned in purple ink, and with no specific subject matter, simply talking about random things and asking questions about his well-being. Malleus smiled, holding the letter in his hands, it felt nice having someone care for him instead of being scared of him. But recently he may have started thinking that it’s also nice to care about another person.

He tucked the letter away into a drawer, but it would take him a little longer to tuck it away in his thoughts, as he started penning back his response. And again, just like your Monday meetings, penning letters back and forth quickly became the normal between the two of you.

Despite the familiarity he now associated with you, there was a strange unfamiliarity to the whole situation. Never in malleus’s life did he thing he’d be snuggling into the crook of a human’s neck, whilst listening to them read, studying with someone else, being friends and being vulnerable with someone else. It felt like he’d experienced a lot of firsts with you, and that was something he wanted to continue doing.

Yes, that was right. He’d have to come to terms with it. He cherished you, the way you could make him feel special, how you’d accepted his quirks with open arms and befriended him regardless of your weird, first meet, the way you took an interest in him - exactly how he’d taken an interest in you. That’s why he had to come to terms with it when he cupped your hand in his and said ever-so-gently that he loved you.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

a big german newspaper (die zeit) recently published a more critical article on the so called „verrichtungsboxen“ (literally: boxes of execution; boxes on the street where prostituted women and sex buyers can go to consummate the sexual acts; anyone who knows german will know this is a gross terminology, fitting for a gross concept).

while the fact these boxes exist is in itself a tragedy, the letters to the editor are giving me hope that there are sane people left in this country - even though from their names and writing style i would guess they are of the older generation, pension age.

heinz wohner: „if you dont get a visceral reaction of disgust and shame looking at these obfuscating boxes called ‚eco toilets‘ and the image of what is going on in them, you have to be extremely cold. calling what is being done to these women for little money ‚work like any other‘ is sugarcoating the issue.“

wolfgang wendling: „maybe there are women who voluntarily prostitute themselves, but the majority is doing it out of necessity and under pressure. calling the oldest trade in history a profession like any other is pure mockery. its not an honor to call our country europe‘s biggest brothel. but it‘s true. we should be ashamed that women are being exploited, humiliated and abused before our eyes. the more severe the poverty is in the country of origin, the cheaper you can have them. we should finally stop this, which is the only appropriate action for a civilised country.“

brigitte kosfeld: „the photo of these boxes alone speaks volumes on the inhumane practices hidden behind the liberalisation of prostitution. when the law was introduced, there were convinced social democratic women who were holding speeches on ‚prostitution as a profession‘. the intentions behind the law might have been honorable, but the reality has always been deeply anti-woman.“

professor claudia reuter, phd: „the liberalisation of prostitution in germany has failed in all regards. according to a french study, the average life expectancy of a prostitute is 33 years. babbling about self-determination in this case is inhumane. the state is not supporting prostitutes’ workers rights and their health, but their economic and sexual exploitation. its about time for the swedish model: protection for women and consistent punishment for sex buyers and pimps.“

joachim kasten: „social democrat august bebel already wrote in 1879 (…) that ‚honorable family men‘ were contributing to uphold the system prostitution with their money. according to him, they were generously let off their responsibility to disappear in anonymity. apparently today we are still where we were at the end of the 19th century.“

sabine moehler: „the description [in the article] of typical injuries prostitutes have reminded me very much of those women in physically abusive relationships show as well. a man who abuses, humiliates and demeans a prostitute in any way will do the same to his partner, wife or lover as soon as he doesnt like her behavior. (…) even reading about this is upsetting me a lot.“

and of course the one sex buyer who just had to write to the editors, peter müller: „its one sided to use the misery in berlin street prostitution with sex on public toilets as a reason to debate the liberalisation of prostitution. there are many brothels were the ladies are treated with respect. of course working as a prostitute harbors certain risks - but there are women who freely choose this job, and in my experience, some of them are doing it with passion and love. the regular prices are not the dumping prices you mentioned (5-10 euros) [note: which is indeed normal in street prostitution] but actually 80-100 euros for half an hour - not to mention those dont include extras and humiliating sex practices. i met women who earn better in prostitution than some employees in germany.“

loose translation and highlights by me.

[howdoyousleep3]

Rating: Explicit (E) Word Count: 4.7K Notable Tags: Dom/Sub AU, Heavy Power Imbalance, Non-Con (from characters other than Steve and in the past, no major detail), Daddy Kink, Age Difference, Sex Trafficking, Human Trafficking, Submissive Auction, Angst With a Happy Ending, Depressive Thoughts, Depressed Bucky Barnes, Slight Stockholm Syndrome, Crying, Subspace, Blowjob, Face Fucking, Orgasm Denial, Cock Cage, Size Kink, Size Difference A/N: This was originally supposed to be published in the last Kinktober I participated in under my Age Difference day. I've only read one story that was in the Dom/Sub AU and I was so taken with it, it's all I thought about as I wrote this. It's a universe where, kind of like Omegaverse, everyone has a designation of Dominant or Submissive. I didn't dive into it too heavily, but I left it totally up for my interpretation so...don't mind me lol. Compared to what I usually write, this one is kind of twisted and dark. Please read the tags and don't continue reading if it makes you uncomfy. ❤️

Read here on Ao3.

The lights in this room are much more dim than the ones in the showcase room they’ve just performed in. He feels the line of his shoulders relax at the sight, be it merely a smidgen, heart still hammering against his rib cage. His limbs continue to tremble unpleasantly, his head pounding, his hole wet and aching to the point of pain. 

He is used to this happening when he’s used without completion, climax other than his own being robbed from him, when he isn’t used for his purpose. He does as they’ve trained him though— he ignores his tender emotions and his body’s biological signs of unfulfilled submission. 

Bucky barely has half the mind to take in his surroundings, to lift his chin and glance around the room he’s quickly being shuffled into. It almost looks like a study, someone’s personal office or library. It’s deceivingly cozy with its maroon walls and moody lighting, a fireplace lit and in use on one end of the room, bookshelves lining the opposite wall. He’s slow to take in the bed in the center of the room, one that seems entirely out of place yet perfect in this setting, large and cloud-like and luxurious. 

The exhaustive ache that Bucky feels deep down to the center of his being yearns to curl up in the center of that bed like a kitten, to not be roused for hours on end. Instead he’s ordered to his knees on the rug next to it, the command settling unpleasantly on the nape of his neck like they always do. 

He looks down at himself, his nude and flushed form, eyes locking onto his hands bound and curled together in his lap, and he wonders how this is where he ended up in life. 

“Listen to me,” the handler tells him, voice unharsh yet still grating, the command one he’s forced to listen to. Bucky’s never enjoyed his designation, has rarely ever been comfortable being a Sub, but these moments are the ones he hates the most. He despises not having a choice, has a special kind of hatred for being commanded against his will, his body listening before his mind can fight against it. But he’s quick to respond, quick to mumble, “Yes, Sir,” because that’s what they’ve spent the last three months training Bucky to do. 

“You no longer belong to us,” the Dominant handler states without emotion, and even given the circumstances, relief kicks up into Bucky’s chest. “Your personal possessions are in this bag, your Dom will handle everything else once your bond is initiated. If it is initiated.” Bucky flinches. “You understand the reputation we hold here and the standards we’ve instilled in you, yes?” 

Bucky bites out another, “Yes, Sir,” before the handler is done moving purposefully around the room, coming to stand in front of Bucky. He doesn’t raise his head, just as he’s been taught.

“Good. I advise you to keep those in mind once you leave this place. You haven’t been the easiest Sub to deal with, James. I’d hate for your Dom to send you back here because you did not meet expectations. He won you fair and square with the highest bid; don’t make him regret that.” 

The severity of the situation Bucky’s been put in, the past few months, hits him in the solar plexus when he hears these words. He isn’t sure why his brain decides to catch up in this moment, why he decides to feel the weight of the past weeks here at the feet of his handler in the very last moment they’ll see each other, but he feels his chest constrict painfully. His hole aches in waves, mouth watering in preparation for what it thinks is coming, desperate, and Bucky bites back his whimper when he feels his dick wish to fill out. 

He never gets what he wants, what he needs, is always left feeling unfulfilled and purposeless. They’ve had to increase his dosage of meds they give him each day as a result of how affected he has become from touch after touch leaving him emptier and emptier. A Sub shouldn’t live like this yet here he is, having been picked up off the streets and trained to be the best of the best on such evil touches. 

He’s going to be so fucked up because of this place. 

Having been put on display in every possible way in the performance room during his shining moment, he wonders if this is the last time he’ll feel so used and hollow. Will his new Dom continue to leave him feeling so empty? Will he make Bucky do things he doesn’t want to do, use him against his will, take advantage of him and his designation? He feels so low in this moment he can’t see anything but that happening, of being owned and living this life of misery. Surely Bucky won’t survive. 

His handler doesn’t even say goodbye, doesn’t acknowledge Bucky as he leaves, and Bucky hates how much that hurts. He’s once again betrayed by his biological needs, betrayed by the intrinsic need to please and to obey, and even given the piss poor treatment they’ve put him through here, Bucky wishes his handler would leave him with more positive words, with the praise he so desperately craves. 

When he hears the door close behind the Dom, he can’t help the whimper that bubbles up and out of his mouth. 

His eyes don’t leave the floor because no one has told him he can raise his head, and even though he no longer belongs to this establishment, he can’t will his inner submissive to look up. Instead, his eyes lock onto the cage around his dick. He despises this thing. Before he was lured in with promises of a warm meal and an even warmer bed he had only heard of cock cages being utilized in either the most severe of relationships or for fun, no in between. He had never worn one until his training. 

He hates it, has tried taking it off on his own multiple times before his harshest of training had set in. He hasn’t come once during his time here, can barely remember what his own climax feels like. 

“Your pleasure no longer belongs to you, James. Your orgasms are not your own; they belong to your Dom.”

It’s ironic yet devastating to Bucky that all of this training, all of this pain, was pointless. Bucky could be a good Sub for someone, he knows it. He could give the right someone all of the things his training had brought out without the misery he’s gone through for these people. He could give his mind, body, and soul easily over to the right person. This line of thinking shifts into the only thing that brought him comfort each night; the only thing that helped him get the little sleep that he did— 

His Daddy. 

Well, hopefully his Daddy. 

If he’s the perfect man for Bucky, he’ll be his Daddy. 

And his knight in shining armor, this perfect Dom, his Daddy, would come one day to take him away from this hell. That’s what he dreamt about each night, that his Dom, strong enough for the both of them, big enough to easily cradle Bucky’s not entirely petite form close to his chest, would whisk him away from this place and give him everything he could ever need. His Dom that can teach him how to cook his favorite meals for him, his Dom that is patient, his Dom that is proud of Bucky. Every night when he needed comfort to sleep, this man would be the comfort Bucky needed to finally rest. 

Bucky wonders what his Dom is going to be like, what he’s going to look like, but most of all Bucky wonders if he is going to like Bucky. Surely he is attracted to Bucky if he got into a bidding war with someone else for Bucky, if he paid damn near a million dollars for Bucky’s bond, for his life. There is a sliver of hope that the highest bidder’s intentions are pure.

Bucky is so exhausted, right down to the bone, that he doesn’t even startle when he hears the door to the room open once more. He doesn’t lift his head, as he’s been taught, but this time he does it because of the onslaught of nerves that wrack his body. This is it, this is his new Dom, the one he’ll have for life, the one whose bond will be initiated tonight. With one last unmated deep breath, Bucky sends a wish out into the universe for his Dom to be kind, for him to show Bucky the love he’s never been given in life, to love Bucky. 

The sound of steady footsteps reach his ears at almost the same moment a sense of calm washes over Bucky’s being. It hits him in waves, drips down his spine like warm honey, a sensation so pleasurable his chest shakes with his caged sob. His nostrils fill with the scents of cinnamon and vanilla and a bonfire deep in the forest. His eyes well up with tears as he continues to look down at his hands, mind racing in disbelief at his body’s immediate reaction to his new Dom, a reaction he’s not experienced before.

Hope begins to seep into Bucky’s limbs as a pair of sleek, black boots come into view.

“James?”

Oh. 

He doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until his next exhale comes out as a choked sob. Upon hearing that voice the hope in his body bursts, shatters, into something more fierce, something that has him responding with a quiet and thoughtless— 

“Daddy?” 

He doesn’t look up, doesn’t let his eyes leave the floor, those expensive boots. He feels his hands tremble in his lap, can almost hear them do so. He isn’t given enough time to panic about addressing his new Dom by a title that wasn’t approved by him, wasn’t given permission to use, because his Dom is responding confidently. 

“Look at me, please.”

Bucky’s eyelids flutter upon hearing the gentle command in such a soothing, rich voice, and he takes a deep and shaky breath before listening like a good boy…

And immediately begins sobbing in full.

It’s the faceless man from Bucky’s dreams, he’s sure of it. He has kind ocean eyes, an otherworldly physical presence. There’s experience etched into every part of his being, from his graying hair to the wrinkles around his eyes to the calmness that sweeps off of him in waves. He smiles down at Bucky and it makes him feel like he’s the most precious creature on the planet. 

“Oh, my angel…”

This is the man that is going to save his life.

This is his Daddy. 

With his eyesight now blurry because of his tears, he doesn’t see the hand coming down before it cups his chin. There’s a strength in this grip that Bucky knows will soothe him, hold him, love him for the rest of his life. A thumb swipes at his tears, wiping them from his cheek. He can’t remember the last time he felt such comfort from another human being. Even before he was forced into this facility, through all his sexual encounters, gentleness and softness were not things he experienced. He’s almost forgotten what it’s like, to feel a reassuring touch. 

“James,” his Daddy reverently murmurs, stroking his thumb over Bucky’s trembling bottom lip. “Why are you crying, sweetheart?” 

He swallows thickly, his eyes roving over his Daddy’s face, taking a few seconds to selfishly drink the older man in. His body reacts to its Dom’s presence like it knows its Daddy is finally here, its biological needs taking over all other needs, roaring to life within him. Bucky’s eyes fight to cross when he takes in the size of his Dom’s denim-clad thighs, how he fills out his cozy sweater. His Daddy’s so big. He wiggles his hips where he sits, chin in his Daddy’s big hand. 

“I’ve just…I’ve…I’ve been waiting for you for so long,” is what Bucky ends up saying quietly, sniffling, and his Dom’s smile is slow and sweet, like he enjoys Bucky’s answer. 

“I’ve been waiting for you forever, James.” 

Those words feel like pure sunlight.

But Bucky shakes his head without thought, stops himself abruptly after two shakes. He’s reminded then of his handler’s words, that he was a difficult Sub. He can’t take the risk of being anything but the best Sub. He’s already afraid to lose his Daddy; he has to be good. 

But his Dom has caught his defiance. 

“What is it, James?” 

“Nothing, Sir.” 

His Dom doesn’t miss a beat. 

“No, sweetheart— no lies, no holding back, no unspoken feelings. I always want to know what you are thinking, what your feelings are. So tell me, James. What is it?” 

Christ. Bucky can’t help but sniffle again, unable to get his tears under control. His Dom is perfect. 

“B-Bucky,” he mumbles. “I go by Bucky. I don’t…I don’t like James.” 

His Dom’s smile is warm, his fingers that squeeze around Bucky’s chin reassuring. He repeats Bucky’s name, practicing it a few times, each one sending Bucky melting further into his head and surely into the floor. 

“Of course, sweetheart— Bucky. My name is Steve,” he tells him, and Bucky’s insides warm with more of that sunlight Steve is bringing into his life. 

Steve. 

A strong name for a strong man, a name that belongs to a man that gently commands attention. It’s the perfect name, or so Bucky thinks.

“But you can call me Daddy, Bucky.’

That’s the best name, the perfect name. 

Hands still tied together in his lap, dick still in its cage, Bucky turns his head and nuzzles his cheek into his new Daddy’s palm, the warmth and sheer size of it making him lightheaded. It takes him a moment to recognize that this is the beginnings of him going under, of finding that sweet space within. He’d gotten so used to being forced there, his designation being used against him to put him under, that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to be sent there willingly. 

His whimpers seem endless even to his own ears. 

“Look at that,” Steve marvels from his place above Bucky, voice the most soothing of tones, a sensation in and of itself. He allows Bucky to nuzzle his cheek further into his palm, even as Bucky gives into the urge and desire to press kisses to his fingers. Such a forgiving Dom.

“I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you, that you’d be everything I’ve dreamt of having all to myself.”

Bucky sobs. The emotions that one sentence brings him is enough to beg Steve to not go any further. But Bucky is selfish, he is admittedly greedy. He’s been given nothing while being here, before this. He has continuously poured from a deserted and infinitely empty cup and has been given nothing when his heart, his mind, his body demands it, needs it, in order to survive. 

“Your tears,” Steve murmurs, interjecting his own shared line of thinking. “Are they good or bad, Bucky? Please tell me.” 

A request yet a command. A tender one. One Bucky must answer, is finally willing to answer. “Both,” is what he decides to admit. 

“Both?” 

He nods his head within Steve’s grip. “Yes, Daddy. Bad because…because I am sad for my past self. That I was never given a chance to be good and then said chance was forcefully taken away from me.” Before Steve can speak to those words, Bucky quickly continues. “But good because you’re here…you’re finally here. And I…I get to be so g-good for you.” 

Steve’s exhale is heavy, laced with a sound of pleasure that settles over Bucky’s own shoulders and neck. Bucky’s dick strains against its cage, his mind slipping from himself further. 

Steve sticks his thick thumb between Bucky’s lips and Bucky nearly sobs again, hiccuping around where he purses his mouth.

“You are extraordinary,” Steve tells him and Bucky truly believes it given his reverent tone. “The moment you stepped on stage, I knew it. I’ve been coming here for years. Did they tell you that? Years, Bucky.  I’m their hardest client to please, the one they couldn’t wait to be rid of. Money is of no importance, my preferences vague. Kept telling them I’d know when to bid, when the right Sub would be coming home with me.”  

Bucky sucks on Steve’s thumb harder, grateful to have something in his mouth as his Dom showers him with praise. 

“They even told me they’d go out of their way to find someone that fit what I was looking for, that we could forgo an auction altogether. I told them no.”

His Daddy is so powerful. 

Bucky slips further into his head. 

“Never once did I question myself; I knew you were out there. And when you stepped onto that stage with those legs and that mouth and those eyes…oh, kitten— you were made for me.” 

Bucky sways forward, head dizzy with need and relief curling together, tightly wound. Steve wraps his other fingers around Bucky’s chin, holding him steady. 

“And you’re going to be the sweetest, most affectionate boy for me, aren’t you? This is everything we’ve both been waiting for, isn’t it?”

Bucky nods his head frantically, laps at Steve’s thumb and sucks it into the back of his mouth. 

“You’re going to bring us so much joy through your submission, aren’t you? You’re going to bring us the purpose we’ve been craving. Together.” 

Bucky doesn’t know how to communicate that his feelings are terribly overwhelming, that he doesn’t know what to do with himself because of it. The force of his emotions leave his body trembling where he kneels. If Steve’s thumb weren’t in his mouth his teeth would surely be clacking against one another with the force of his tremors. His head spins in less of the dizzy way he’s been experiencing these past weeks and more in a euphoric way he’s always dreamt it could. 

His body already trusts its Daddy, leaning towards him and into his touch, loosening up further and further. The line in his shoulders softens, the tension in his thighs diminishes. Even with Steve’s thumb in his mouth, the tightness no longer residing in his jaw is obvious. 

Even as Bucky spent his nights dreaming of this moment, weeping for this moment, he never imagined it could be this perfect. 

But then Steve is reaching for his belt buckle with his other hand, the button on his black dress pants, and Bucky wonders if he is in fact dreaming. 

“Let Daddy give you something else to suck on, sugar. You look like you need it,” Steve purrs, reaching into his now open dress pants and pulling out his cock. Weeping nearly as much as Bucky has been, Steve’s cock is impossibly thick and deliciously heavy. It has Bucky’s hips wiggling once more, his vision going blurry as he’s presented with his Daddy’s cock for the very first time. He can’t stop the onslaught of sniffles and weepy eyes as he reminds himself once more that he’s so goddamn lucky Steve waited for him. 

He opens his mouth as soon as that cock is above him, letting Steve’s thumb pop from between his lips, whining as he does so. He can smell Steve from here, his warm scent with an added muskiness to it that has Bucky unabashedly groaning, tongue out. 

And then Steve pulls his balls out too, and Bucky nearly asks to be pinched. 

“Daddy…” 

“Gimme a kiss, sweetheart. Let Daddy feel that precious mouth.”

The moment the fat head of Steve’s cock lands on his tongue, Bucky feels the closest thing to submissive bliss he’s ever felt. It’s euphoric. The taste of him, this Dom, his Daddy, blooms on his tongue, bursts through his being. The taste of his excitement, his precome, forces another ragged noise from Bucky as he sucks Steve further into his mouth, savoring every inch of him. Steve’s thunderous and drawn out groan feels like a climax to Bucky.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Steve exclaims through an exhale, Bucky barely tethered to the earth. “That’s it. Show Daddy how much you’ve missed him, show him how perfect you are.”

In the three months he’s been here, servicing a Dom has not once felt like this. In his time before this, his time on the streets and beyond, he’s never felt solid within his submissiveness. The stretch of his jaw, the hot slide of velvet wrapped steel on his tongue and down his throat, the feel of Steve’s large fingers sliding through his hair; it all brings him a sense of purpose he’s failed to receive all these years. 

And he can’t help but sob around his mouthful. 

“I knew it, I…fuck, I knew you were made for me, Bucky” Steve tells him, voice full of awe and dripping with lust. “I can’t wait to see how far you drop, how far I can push you. You’re gonna let Daddy push you, aren’t you? You’re gonna let him learn all about you?” 

Bucky confirms Steve’s suspicions with another loud, garbled noise around his cock, one of obvious enthusiasm. He’s dropping hard now, wants to tell his Daddy he’s barely holding on, but then Steve’s hands are moving, holding Bucky’s head in place as he pulls his hips back. 

Using Bucky. 

What little headspace Bucky has left reserved for himself is used to marvel at how easily, how purposefully, it was for Steve to step into this role as his Daddy. 

He’d give Steve the world. 

He’ll give Steve whatever he wants, whenever he wants it, all the time. 

This is his life’s purpose now, being used for his Daddy’s pleasure, serving his Daddy. Being owned by his Daddy.

He’s left with no choice but to cry. 

Bucky opens up his throat as his eyes begin to close, leaning forward on his knees, letting Steve fuck his mouth. With an easy and sharp noise, Bucky immediately knows that Steve wants his eyes open and on him. He does just that, looking up at Steve as he sticks his tongue out obediently, moaning at the fullness of his mouth. 

“That’s it, that’s a good boy,” Steve murmurs, voice melting down Bucky’s spine as Steve’s fingers dig into his hair. “You’re so good, you’re already so good for your Daddy. Look at you, look how much you love sucking on your Daddy’s cock. You perfect baby Sub.”

Bucky’s head grows fuzzier, his dick aching, his core aching. He slurps around Steve’s cock but it does nothing to slow the trail of spit dripping down his chin and sliding towards his neck. Steve is a dream, an absolute dream. Bucky needs a communicator, needs someone who will listen and who will talk to him, especially when it’s filthy. Bucky wants to be talked dirty to, wants to experience that side of sex, especially when it’s praise. Especially when it’s from Steve. 

Without warning, Steve kicks his hips forward, a noise akin to a growl falling from his lips, his fingers tightening in Bucky’s hair. It’s a slip of his obvious control, his inner Dom breaking through, impatient. Bucky meets him full force with his own submission, moaning around his Daddy’s cock, showing him he can take it. 

“Yeah, you know what that is, don’t you? Your Sub knows a Dom when he feels one, doesn’t he?” 

Bucky’s whine is damn near desperate. 

“You know how hard it is for your Dom not to take you right here on this fucking floor, sweetheart? Makes me feel feral, the way I want to make you mine. Mhmm, your Daddy doesn’t want that though. Your Daddy wants to take you home, take you away from this place forever. He wants to treat you right.” 

Bucky swallows around his mouthful.

He can feel Steve’s groan all the way down here, down in his toes.

“Here’s what we’re going to do, sweetheart,” Steve tells him, his hands holding onto both sides of his face. He pulls his cock out of Bucky’s mouth just enough to where Bucky can only suckle on the tip of it given the restraint Steve has put him in. The connection of their eyes, the way Steve looks down at him, strikes a chord deep, deep within Bucky. 

He whimpers as he suckles on the big, swollen head of his Daddy’s cock as he listens. 

“I’m going to give you what you want. I’m going to give you my come, fill your pretty belly with it. I have a hunch that’s going to send you right under, which is perfect. You’re so perfect, angel.”

Bucky whimpers again. 

“And then Daddy’s going to take you home. And when we get home, I’m going to give you a bath and play with your little body until you’re nice and loose and ready to take my big cock.” 

Bucky whimpers again. 

“And then I’m going to fuck your little hole until it sends you right back under, until you come all over my cock, until our bond snaps into place and we finally and officially belong to one another.” 

Oh. 

Bucky sniffles as he lets Steve use his mouth, tears trailing down his cheeks and mixing with the spit smeared on his chin. He wasn’t sure if the person who bought him would want to bond so quickly, if they’d want to bond at all. It’s been implied to him since he got here that he was too difficult of a Sub to become bonded. To hear that Steve wants to take him away from this dreadful place, to their home, in order to bond with him is a dream come true. 

It’s what begins to send him under. 

“That’s it, kitten,” Steve pants, fucking himself impossibly deep into Bucky’s mouth. “That’s it, baby. Oh, I can almost feel you slipping from me. Have you stolen my heart already? Have you tempted my bond already, Bucky?” 

Bucky’s vision begins to grow fuzzy around the edges, his mind pulling in on itself, hypnotized by the drag of Steve’s cock in and out of his mouth. In and out, in and out, in and out. Blessedly not rough, but intense and all-consuming. His jaw nearly aches at the stretch of Steve’s girth and it’s— 

It’s bliss. 

Daddy’s hands in his hair, Daddy’s cock in his mouth, Daddy’s praise in his ear, Daddy’s eyes on his face, Daddy’s come on his tongue. 

“Daddy.” 

“You’re mine now, Bucky. No one is ever going to hurt you, never again. I’ll give you everything you could ever want as a Sub and as a boy. You’ll never wish for anything now that I’m your Daddy,” Steve tells him as he shoots off down Bucky’s throat, hands in Bucky’s hair, petting him as he pumps his hips.

His Daddy’s voice is steady and strong, full of promise and love. And as he kneels there at his Daddy’s feet with Steve’s warm come settling into his belly, his Daddy’s cock still in his slack mouth, Bucky finally, finally lets himself sink.