#and i wont lie. they didn't explain everything

[jujutsustraycats]

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS REALLY DECIDED TO BE LIKE "i'mma murder your delulu asses and then heal it all at once" LIKE HELLO? YOU YOSANO OR SMTH??

Edit: Ignore the tags about the episode thing, this apparently is the finale for season 5. But still. I'm worried about the further plot.

[deathbxnny]

Alright! After debating which characters i want to use for this idea, i chose Lyney! So can i request Lyney x reader where he and reader does a ballroom dance under the moonlight. The Merry Go Round of Life ost is honestly a perfect song for a ballroom dance so i have to request a ballroom dance! Also this ask is kinda similar to your Furina post, but..

Let me explain:

So the reader is Lyney’s crush and Lyney is also the reader’s crush. Their love for each other is mutual but both of them have yet to confess. The reader is wating for Lyney to be the one to confess while Lyney… Lyney plans to never confess to them. Despite really wanting to, he can’t. He won’t because if he does that would mean getting the reader involved in the Fatui which he vehemently does not want to happen. So he trapped the both of them in this dance of Will They or Wont They because while he doesnt want to be actual lovers for their safety, this dance will at least let him believe an illusion that they are one. He knows the reader will get tired of this dance but that’s fine with him. He will enjoy every second of this dance until the reader eventually finds a new dancing partner lover.

But until then, he will let himself believe this illusion as it lets him forget all his problems and be in love for once.

(I should probably mention that i have yet to play Fontaine so idk how accurate Lyney is in this request but even if he does date someone, i still think he wouldnt be too keen on having his S/O involved in his Fatui business. Am i right on that assumption?)

- Flower Anon 🌸

I love your brain, Flower Anon! This is such an interesting idea, but I might change it up a little, so I hope you like it anyways and I thank you for your request!<33

(Part two)

Content: Heavy angst?, Mutual pinning but no confession, hurt/kind of no comfort, ballroom dancing, hints of depression, Lyney is a bit of a liar, sfw Reader has no metioned pronouns!! ((Not fully proofread))

《No happy endings. (Lyney x Gn!Reader)》

In a way, Lyney always knew his love for you would backfire eventually.

Whether it was due to his own actions or his family's "business," he knew this couldn't ever turn out the way he wanted to. That eventually, he'd have to pull away from you for good. But he was selfish for way too long, perhaps even in denial. He ignorantly thought he could manage his many lies with the same ease he balanced his magic tricks on stage. And yet, it all came to a head the day "Father" told them of their important mission.

A mission he knew would end in nothing but heartbreak and loneliness.

He ofcourse tried to prolonge his doom for as long as he could, mainly because he just couldn't let go of you. He didn't want to, and it was so painfully obvious to everyone around him. It didn't help that he knew that you loved him back, too. Neither of you ever dared to confess, however, something he was thankful for until now. It made things a little easier, or at least it did, until you one day visited him at one of his street shows with a letter in hand, inviting him to a grand ball in the theater.

You were glowing under the bright sun, your smile wide enough to make him breathless. Lynette gave him a glance, an unreadable one he still understood anyway. After their last meeting with their "Father", she had bluntly asked him what he was going to do with you now. This wasn't the first time she had asked him this either. But everytime she did, his words would dry out in his mouth and he'd be left there speechless, unable to come up with a solution.

The issue was clear as day, however. It's either he confessed to you or he didn't. For a while, he entertained the idea of doing so, just so he can finally hold you the way he so desperately wanted to. But Lynette wasn't letting him dream anymore. If he confessed, then he'd have to lie to you about everything. And it was inevitable that eventually, one day, you'd find out about their real identities. Would you stay then? Freminet quietly shaking his head at his older brothers question was enough to make him finally wake up to the reality of the situation.

No, ofcourse you wouldn't stay, because he had deceived you for so many years. Perhaps you'd be able to look past the Fatui aspect, but not the lies.

He hadn't been the same since and everyone noticed. Even you, who was so desperate to cheer him up from the unknown issue that was clouding his mind. Always so ready to help him through everything, despite not knowing you were the cause of his plight. And he regrettably loved that about you the most.

"You... want to go to the ball with me? Ah... I-" "-Please? I've been wanting to go with you for a while, and I'm sure it will do us some good to catch a break." You said quickly, afraid of his rejection when you haven't even tasted the beginning of it yet. The blonde man bit his lip, his eyes meeting Lynette's for help, who simply looked away stubbornly. She had warned him of this. At this point, she wondered who's feelings she was really trying to save. Her twin brothers or her dear friends? She didn't know and hoped it would all just come to a quick, painful end.

Lyney sighed softly, unable to ever say no to you in the end, as he forced a smile to grace his lips. "Why ofcourse then! Let's make the night count!" He said in his usual grandiose tone, his heart fluttering as you gave him an excited giggle and hugged him, quickly taking your leave with a gleeful thanks. The twins watched you round a corner, the young man deflating with every step you took.

He pressed a hand against his face the moment you disappeared, his breath a little uneven and shaky. His smile wobbled until it finally dropped entirely. Even smiling had become too exhausting to do. Lynette simply stared before she shook her head and crossed her arms tightly. Someone had to be the responsible one here, and as much as it hurt her... she had to be the one to push him over the edge. "You'll end it after the ball. You have to." She whispered to him, leaning in close enough to notice the teary, near empty gaze glinting in his eyes.

He always loved too hard.

"I... ofcourse I will. You're right." He muttered in a near daze as he gathered up his cards off the floor from a previous performance. He looked so small, all his pride and grandiose having been shattered the moment he realised that his life and free will never belonged to him to begin with.

---

The days flew past him afterwards and by the time the night of the ball arrived, it was like he had woken up from a bad fever dream. He stood in the now crowded theater room, dazed and dressed in a lavish suit he only barely remembered to have put on with his siblings' help. He had attempted to stall having to come here, but his "father's" dark glare from the door way made it clear that she wasn't going to entertain his "distraction" being around him anymore either.

Fountaine's whole existence stood on the line, so how dare he hesitate? How dare he care about being heartbroken, when people are going to die?

His hazy mind nearly didn't recognize your radiating form when you approached him in absolute glee. Your hands took his gloved one's, tightly grasping them, as you spoke of your happiness to be here with him. You had dragged him outside onto one of the massive balconies, the moonlight mirrored in your beautiful eyes, and for a moment, everything around him disappeared. He could hear your words slow down, the panic kicking in full force when he realised what you were attempting to do, his mouth moving faster than his heart could stop it.

"Lyney, what I want to say is that I lov-" "-Let's dance. Let us please dance." He whispered breathlessly, his head spinning as he grasped onto your hip and took your hand into his. He couldn't process the hurt in your eyes, the way you pressed your lips together, tried mentally reasoning with yourself that he hadn't indeed just bluntly rejected you.

But he was quicker, the music filtering outside from the grand ballroom and mingling with the warm night air, as Lyney waltzed with you to it's melody. His mind was racing with so many thoughts and possibilities, his brain and heart tearing at his soul into opposite directions. He was hesitating. Despite knowing exactly what he had to do, the words just couldn't spill out yet. He gave himself time until the end of the song, his face flushing with a misplaced sense of excitement for being so close to you at last.

Yet you knew something was off about him. Perhaps it was the way he danced so clumsily. Perhaps it was the growing anxiety in his eyes that couldn't look into yours, and maybe it was the way his breath was so painfully labored, as though something was weighing down on his heart, suffocating him. Whatever it was, it made you slowly become frustrated.

Years of showing your affection to the magician seemed to have been brushed off and forgotten in that moment. And you weren't foolish enough to believe that he didn't feel the same for you. So what was he waiting for? What was holding him back? You couldn't understand, and so, when he spun you out, his hand only weakly keeping you from getting away from him, you finally uttered the words that burned on your tongue.

"Why are you hesitating?"

He looked at you for the first time since the waltz began, his eyes widening with unshed tears as he gulped, his throat so painfully dry. The melody was about to end, the orchestra leading up to it with suspense, somehow fitting for what he was about to do. He was happy that, despite everything, he was able to delude himself into thinking you two can be one, even for a single night. So perhaps his only regret was to not have been born in the right time and world for you.

"Because I can't love you. Not in this life. But I promise that nothing will stop me in the next."

The music came to an end, the wild and near deafening roar of the crowd in the ballroom filling this sobering silence between you two. It was his best performance, his best final magic trick, in which he'd make his own heart vanish. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your hand, unable to look at your shocked and tear-filled expression.

Lyney had made peace with himself and the situation in that moment, even when you wordlessly pulled away from him and quickly ran past him. He stood under the moonlight, still bowed, his hand reaching for nothing until he summoned his hat from thin air and elegantly put it on his slicked back hair. The blonde turned to look behind him as he did so, only barely seeing you vanish in the thick crowd as you wiped away your tears.

And somehow, he had it in him to smile, not out of amusement of what he had done to you, but rather at the realisation that he truly always did belong to a puppet show in a way.

What a shame that the script had no happy ending from the start.

Alrighttt... I hope this was okay for you, Flower Anon! And sorry for taking so long, exam season is not for the weak...

[zer0brainc3lls]

I bet on losing dogs

masterlist

story summary: what if newt and thomas were canon in the death cure with a twist?

word count: 7172

part 1/3-4?

authors note at the end!!

When Thomas announced he wasn't going to save Minho, newt knew he was a fucking liar. Everyone else believed him but, newt? No. he knows Thomas better than that. 6 months of barely leaving each other's sides and learning to survive and rely on each other you learn each other's tells. He had it written all over his stubborn self sacrificial face, the fact Thomas thinks he can go save Minho without newt is honestly laughable in his opinion. 6 months of missions, killing cranks, forming plans, learning wicked layouts, sharing tents and when times were hard even the same sleeping bag the fact Thomas thought he could do this alone was stupid and newt knows Thomas knows that. 

Afterwards newt immediately went to frypan and he was immediately in when newt told him the plan, they secretly packed everything up into a truck for after newt catches him in the act. Thomas probably wont be leaving for another hour or two so newt decides to go back to their shared tent to check if he has left anything and to just relax for a little while. He unzips the tent and zips it back up behind him once he crosses the threshold. They didn't have much and the tent floor mainly consisted of a large sleeping bag and their packs for pillows. The small part of the ground that wasn't just their sleeping bag they had a small pistol each, thomas a medium sized knife and newts machete resting in a corner. 

Well normally there was.

But suspiciously Thomas's knife and pistol was gone and his bag/pillow looked slightly more full. Like how it did before they went out into the scorch. Thomas could be so smart and so dumb at the same time, Newt decided to wait on top of their sleeping bag to confront him. He grabbed Thomas's bag and placed it in his lap and sat staring at the closed tent waiting patiently for him to get back. Newt couldn't lie, he was mad at thomas. Of all the times to decide to go on some big solo mission it's to go save minho? Really? Besides thomas, minho was one of the people newt was closest to and thomas knows that. Why would thomas think newt wouldnt go with him? As minutes passed anger bubbled up inside newt at this thought and after waiting for maybe 10 minutes he hears familiar footsteps crunch against the ground, he listens as Thomas fumbles with the tent zipper and sees him step inside. 

Thomas stares at Newt with widened eyes, after a moment his jaw clenches with the realization he had been caught. His brows furrowed and as he's about to explain himself newt cuts him off. “I'm coming with you.” Newt says in his usual stubborn tone, he watches Thomas as he sits down in front of him. He takes a deep breath with his eyes scrunched together before speaking “newt you can't, its to big of a risk! There no guarantee we make it back-” “so you're going to need help, you bloody shank!” newt's voice layered with frustration towards Thomas, he takes a moment to compose himself before continuing. “Frypan is already in as well, please let us help. Let me help. You can't ask me to sit back while you go rescue one of my best friends and not know if either of you will make it back. You can't do that to me tommy.” his voice full of desperation, he holds thomas’s gaze and thomas looks at him as if this is really a decision. 

Thomas’s pupils scan Newt's face for any sign of a small chance he could be convinced. Newt holds his ground, keeping his face as still as a rock. Thomas looks away from him, eyes tightly sewn together and his lips pressed tightly together. Newt cups his face and gently turns his head to make Thomas face him once more. 

“Please thomas.” he mumbles at a tone only for Thomas's ears. This brings Thomas's walls crashing down and his face can only be described as in full defeat. Thomas’s eyes flick to Newt's lips before he softly kisses him, Newt kisses him back and places his other hand on Thomas's face pulling him in. both pairs of lips chapped from the harsh sun, thomas pulls away after a moment and whispers “your not leaving my side. Got it?” Newt gently places a kiss on Thomas’s forehead, his lips barely touching his skin before softly responding with, “I expected nothing less.” they lock eyes again, Thomas smiles a big boyish grin that Newt absolutely adores and he resists the urge the kiss him again that swirls in his chest so he can pack his own weapons up. 

He quickly takes his holster out of his bag and hooks it to his belt before placing his pistol inside. He checks his bag for all his usual stuff, water, food, extra rounds, pencil and journal. As he suspected its all there, he nods to himself and tucks his machete into his belt. He gets his smaller secret knife he keeps in his bag and tucks in his belt as well, instead of placing it around the front he places it around the back. Thomas’s eyes locked on him through this whole process. Usually Newt wouldn't expose his secret knife spot but it's Thomas he already knows where he keeps his weapons, and newt knows where thomas keeps his. Thomas keeps a tiny blade in his shoe and he keeps his main knife tucked into a pocket on the inside of his jacket that Newt sewn on himself. Thomas has never been good with sewing. Newt grabs his bag and swings it over his back, he stretches his hand out to thomas. Before he can even stop moving his hand Thomas has a firm grip on Newt, Newt responds with the same grip and pulls Thomas up. He doesn't let go of Thomas's calloused hand as they walk out quietly to the truck. 

—

Newt was dozing off in the back seat, thomas has been driving for a few hours but he is getting tired and frypan who has slept the whole time is going to switch with him, well at least that's what Newt overheard. He feels the car pull to the side of the road and hears both front doors open, Thomas gets in the back next to Newt and Frypan gets in the front seat. They drive silently for awhile and when Newt finally feels himself slipping out of consciousness he faintly hears thomas unbuckle his seatbelt, followed by him placing his head in Newt's lap staring up at him with a sleepy grin on his face. Usually they aren't super affectionate around others, but when it's just frypan or brenda they allow themselves to be slightly more affectionate than usual. 

You need to wear your seatbelt. Newt silently tells him when he raises his eyebrows. Thomas as usual knows exactly what newt is thinking and mumbles “it's fine newt, it's a dead road. Go to sleepp” the end of his sentence barely audible as his eyes get heavy and he allows his eyes to close. Newt softly runs his hand through Thomas's hair and watches the sleepy grin slowly dissolve into a blank face and listens as his breathing goes steady. Newt feels his own eyes get heavy and lets himself rest as well. 

Newt hears the sound of tires crunching against the ground combined with the scorching sun against his eyelids. This makes his lashes flutter open and when he realizes how late in the day it is he whisper shouts at fry “you were supposed to wake me up you shank!” as he says this he hears thomas stir, he covers his eyes with his hand so the sunlight doesn't wake him. He keeps his gaze locked on the rearview mirror so he's looking at fry, “im not tired, plus you two looked peaceful. Also were almost at some checkpoint so maybe wake up lover boy in a bit, good that?” newt rolls his eyes sarcastically before saying in a whisper “good that” 

Newt places his left elbow against the car door and uses his hand as a head rest, his right hand already occupied with shielding the sun from Thomas's eyes. Newt can't help but wonder if this checkpoint is going to be swarming with cranks, he has a pretty good feeling it will be. He feels an anxiety pool in his gut at the thought, he hadn't encountered a big group of cranks since winston.. Only the odd group or two. None of them knew who was immune or not since then, Then his mind conjured up a thought. A terrible, gut wrenching thought. 

What if Thomas isn't immune? 

Imagining Thomas as a crank makes Newt feel positivity sick. He can't imagine Thomas as one of those cannibalistic animals. He images Thomas standing in front of him, deathly still with black veins pulsing all throughout his body and a black oil-like substance dripping from his lips. His eyes full of bloodlust. No. no way. He has to be immune. Newt is sure of it. As if on cue he sees a sign in the distance about the checkpoint frypan was referencing minutes earlier. He places his hand against thomas’s cheek and strokes his skin softly with his thumb coaxing him out of his sleep. Newt listens as his breathing picks up for a moment and his eyes fly open, thomas looks up at newt and he quickly relaxes. His eyes go soft and his body melts like butter under Newt's touch. Newt can't even imagine Thomas as a crank when he looks at Newt like that.  

“There's a checkpoint coming up” newt says carefully concealing his thoughts, thomas’s brow twitches for a moment as he searches newts face at the slightest tone adjustment only he would pick up on. Thomas’s brows raise in question, are you ok? He asks with no voice. Newt raises the corner of his mouth into a quiet smile. I'm fine Tommy, he answers back wordlessly.  Thomas’s brows furrow for a second in accusation before he sits up in his seat, quickly putting on his seat belt. Thomas doesn't believe him but chooses not to bring it up, the car silently pulls them to the checkpoint. When they see the dark tunnel ahead, Frypan stops the car and they all get out to check it out. 

As they walk up to the tunnel, Newt says in a cautious tone “you want us to go in there?” he turns to face thomas who is looking down at a map. His face scrunched in concentration, his jaw tightly shut trying to find a way around the dark most likely crank infested death trap. “I don't want to come across as to negative love but if I were a crank that's exactly where I would be.” Newt says gesturing towards the entrance of the checkpoint with his hand, frypan nods in agreement. “I don't think we have much of a choice.” Thomas says reluctant as well, Newt frowns but hums in agreement before heading back to the car sitting in the back seat. 

Thomas now sits in the front seat next to frypan who is driving, they slowly make their way through the dark and surprisingly wet tunnel. They hit a pothole or two as they drive along the empty checkpoint, after a minute or two they come across a few cars. Frypan steers around them but quickly comes to a stop with a loud gasp, newt looks between the two seats and sees a crank up ahead. The thing twitches and groans softly but not daring to move. Newt's chest clenches at the sight of the animal and he quickly switches off his flashlight, Thomas quickly follows suit. “Its fine there's only one, take it slow and drive around it.'' Thomas instructs fry, frypan nods in agreement. Once he does thomas rolls up his window, 

BANG!!!

Newt automatically turns to his left at the noise, he sees a white haired lady.. Well used to be a lady begging to be let in the truck. she starts frantically jiggling at the door handle. Adrenaline spikes up newt like lighting at the sight and he jumps away, 

THUD

Newt turns to his right and sees another crank, this time a man whose further into the infection. His claws at the window and growls animalistically, its eyes full of hunger and a sickening desire for blood. A second bolt of lighting courses through newts flesh, the hair on his nape standing up. Newt watches as cranks quickly crowd around the truck groaning, scratching, banging and screaming craving the taste of blood on their rotten tongues. “FLOOR IT FRY!!!” thomas screams from his gut, “HOLD ON” frypan yells out in warning, his voice lowering an octave. As he steps on the accelerator a crank jumps on the front of the car, it roars in a low guttural tone before beginning to punch the windshield. “SHAKE IT'' Newt screams sternly, frypan obeys and begins dodging cars silently. Newt rocks left and right as he does so,

frypan manages to yell something back after a moment or two that newt doesn't hear because the crank manages to punch through the windshield and sticks its hand inside the small hole in the glass, time slows almost to a halt as the thing goes to take a swipe at thomas. Newt freezes for less then a second feeling a deep primal fear wash over his entire body, pure terror at the thought of the crank making contact with the brunette sitting in front of him, newt doesnt see if the thing actually makes contact with thomas before he shoots its brains out. The windshield shatters into tiny pieces, frypan tries to drive forward but newt hears thomas scream something as the car topples rolls over onto its back. Newt bangs his head as the car flips, white noise being the only thing audible for a moment. He gets his bearings and raises his shaky hand to the back of his head to feel hot liquid trickle down his neck, luckily its not a lot so he should be fine. 

Newt faintly hears thomas kick his window out and watches as he crawls out of the car on his hands and knees, newt hears frys door jiggle as it fights against him. At the sound newt kicks at his own door, after 2 hard kicks it flys open as he rolls out onto the ground. Newt fumbles to get to his feet, thomas lifts him up and places his hands on his shoulders “you hurt?” he quickly asks, eyes flickering between newt and the car. “I'll live, you?” thomas’s breath hitches as he zips up his jacket, he quickly nods confirming hes fine before asking frypan if hes ok. Hes quickly interrupted by a inhumane scream in the distance. 

Newt quickly checks his gun the realise he forgot to fucking load it. “Shit!” he says in a panic looking towards thomas then frypan, “fry we gotta move!'' Thomas's voice rising with worry. Newt pulls out his machete as a crank limps towards them at top speed, him and thomas are yelling at frypan to get out of the car. Terror gets thicker in their tones as the animal rapidly approaches. Thomas and Newt go to pull him out of the car before frypan stumbles out himself, shot gun in hand as he shoots at the thing that was mer steps away. “Nice shot fry” Thomas somehow manages to choke out, “thanks..” Frypan says breathlessly as the adrenaline seeps out of him. Newt can't bring himself to speak as his adrenaline and heart are still pumping. 

More screams sound in the distance and newts head snaps up towards the noise, thomas shouts something before frypan is yelling for them to go, thomas grabs newts sleeve as they run to the sounds of gunshots behind them. Newt and Thomas scream at him to run and frypan follows, the cranks close in and frypan goes to shoot them, they turn around to see cranks on all sides. “IM OUT!!” frypan screams, his gun clicking with no bullets. Newt turns back and forth as the cranks close in on them, is this it? Is he going to die by a pack of blood thirsty animals?? His breathing and heart rate somehow get faster at this realization.

Luckily they hear a car's engine roar in the distance.

Newt, Thomas and Frypan turn to see a car crash through the cranks with its headlights beaming, newt sees a figure emerge from the top of the car before realizing its Brenda. Brenda!! “Hey get in!” she yells out pistol in hand, she shoots with precision only a person with years of experience could yield as newt grabs a handle on top of an open window using it to hurl himself into the car. Once there all in, Jorge commands the car to bolt forward, the speed off and out of the pack of cranks and eventually the tunnel. 

“I'm impressed! You almost lasted a whole day!” Jorge says sarcastically as Thomas climbs from the back to sit next to Newt, bodies clash for a moment before he asks once more “you good?” “yeah” newt responds quickly.

Brenda turns in her seat and shakes her head disapprovingly, Thomas replies with “I'm sorry I didn't want to bring you guys into this” guilt thick and prominent in his voice. Jorge looks at Thomas through the rearview mirror and before Newt gets the chance, Frypan blurted out “what i think he's trying to say is thanks for saving us!” he says leaning forwards in his seat. Jorge mentions how the city is most likely overrun but that's when the city catches newt's eye, he sees a large technologically advanced city in the distance with a thick circle of concrete walls lined with towers and machine guns the size of small cars adding another layer of protection. “Yeah unless they figured out some other way to keep the cranks out” he spoke as the car rocked along the road, his words caught everyone attention and they stared at the concrete walls in disbelief and almost in awe at the heavy machinery and protection they could only dream of. 

Jorge slams on the breaks, dust flies as the car comes to a quick and loud halt. Newt climbs out of the car, Thomas following close behind as everyone walks to the edge to get a true look at the city before them. The city seems out of place in such a foreign waste land, the buildings outside of the concrete walls all worn down and cars abandoned. The skyscrapers practically glow under the harsh sun, the colors of blue and white only bringing them more attention. 

“Its funny, we spent three years trapped behind walls trying to break out and now we want to break back in.'' Newt announces almost sarcastically, Thomas asks how to get in but Jorge tells them the walls are new. Brenda tells everyone to get in the car and everyone obliges except for Thomas who continues to stare out into the city. Newt walks up to him and says “you really think he's in there?” he asks rhetorically. “I guess we’ll find out.'' he answers in an almost deadpan tone, newt knows what he's really thinking about, he's thinking about her. Teresa. “You know she's gonna be in there too.” he says almost sympathetic, thomas’s face molds into a stone cold expression at the thought of her.

When Teresa betrayed them he was so full of rage and hate it was almost unbearable for him, and almost as unbearable for newt to watch. It broke his heart to see Thomas be betrayed like that, he truly did care for her. But not in the way she cared about him, Teresa loved him. The thought of the possibility she could still feel that way makes his chest tighten in jealousy and anger, even though Thomas is Newt’s and Thomas hates her now with a fiery passion the thought of someone liking Thomas like that makes him positively sick. “Cmon lets go to the car” Newt squeezes Thomas's arm and his shoulder slump and face once made of stone cracks down, Thomas smiles softly as his eyes trail up and down newt and his smile somehow radiates with pure appreciation and devotion. Thomas allows Newt to interlock their hands and be pulled gently towards the car. 

—

Newt, Thomas, Brenda, Frypan and Jorge walk into a street full of angry protestors. Some are standing on objects, many with signs but all of them are screaming in unison. Newt looks around fully taking in the intimidating sight before seeing Thomas push through the crowd, Jorge and Brenda following close behind. Newt and frypan speed walk side by side pushing through the crowd to make it back to Tommy and the others. As Newt walks through the angry protestors trying to reach the front that is blocked off with waist high barricades he notices men in gas masks watching them, he notices the first one close behind him. His mask black but the glass a faint red color, he ignores it and continues walking and not even 10 seconds later he turns to his right and notices another man in a similar getup eyeing him down. 

Newt speeds up slightly, fear making his head spin as he pushes more urgently now through the protestors. He makes it to Thomas and luckily everyone else is there too, he grabs Thomas and Jorge by the shoulders and announces sternly “guys we gotta go now look!” Thomas and the others all turn to where Newt is watching the masked men approaching them quickly. 

As if things couldn't get any worse he hears a loud whirring sound of the large machine guns powering up.  

Everyone, even the protestors fall silent and watch as the cubes of death power on. The metal rods that hold them extending while red light flashes from multiple guns from either side, Newt can almost hear Janson cackling behind the walls. The silence is interrupted by many people screaming and stampeding away from wicked’s walls, making a desperate ditch effort to escape their fates. Jorge is shouting for them to leave but the group barely move their feet from shock, once the first explosion happens maybe less than 100 meters away all hesitation is broken and the group breaks into a sprint side by side. Newt pushes forward, his feet pounding against the hard ground which he does not hear over the explosions and screams all around him. He fails to keep his breath steady from terror, gulping air as if it will run away from him. 

Newt follows frypan into a concrete alleyway, somehow keeping his balance despite the bombs raining from the sky. Dust flies all around and scratches at his exposed skin, they exit the alleyway to find a just as terrifying if not more sight in front of them. A masked soldier grabs onto Newt's jacket and roughly shoves him into a van as if he was a parcel, he hears Jorge screaming Brenda's name as he is shoved into the same van as newt. He resists the urge to scream along with him but not for the same person as he is.

—

The ride there is intense to say the least. The short drive there Jorge is drilling the soldiers about his daughter and her location, the idiot soldiers not knowing how protective Jorge is refuse to answer and just before the van comes to a loud halt Jorge has pounced on the soldier in front of him like an angry lion who lost his cub. As the back of the van opens both Jorge and the soldier tumble out, Jorge landing on top and he proceeds to beat the living shit out of the masked man screaming his head off. Newt stumbles out of the van looking around expecting white walls and needles to be shoved into his neck but instead is met with a concrete building, newt sees thomas and brenda run up to jorge before thomas gets pushed back as well as newt, a gun drawn against his chest. Newt and Thomas lock eyes for a second, scanning each other's bodies looking for any possible injury. Newt is met with the same Thomas he saw 10 minutes ago and turns his attention back to the situation at hand.

Brenda is attempting to get Jorge's attention and once she does Jorge immediately leaves the soldier as if he's just a piece of trash and immediately relaxed once he sees Brenda is safe and sound. “We’re all on the same side here!” Newt hears a soldier shout out, the boy has extremely short hair almost down to the scalp and for whatever reason his voice and stance ring a bell in Newt's head he can't decipher. “What do you mean same side?!? Who the hell are you?!” Newt hears Thomas spit out at the familiar soldier, he pushes the masked man who was previously holding him down with ease. The soldier stares at Newt and the group and just as he removes his mask the similar feeling Newt got in his gut clicks in his brain.

Gally’s alive.

“Hey greenie.” gally announces, newt stares at him in pure shock. Gally’s alive?! How?! The image of him on the floor, spear in his chest flashes in newts mind, how could he have possibly survived? This thought is cut short when Newt notices Thomas's stance. His fists are balled up, nails pressing into his palm hard, pure fury partially simmering off him. He stands still for a moment before punching jaw straight into the jaw.

He hears frypan scream out to thomas for him to stop, Newt runs towards him guns drawn in thomas’s direction. “Tommy stop, stop, stop.” he barely manages to yell out as he kneels beside him, he makes an attempt to grab his arm but his grip fails him as Thomas slips from his hand and punches him again with ease. This time drawing blood, he winds his arm up to hit him again. His jaw clenched and brows furrowed tightly, his eyes bulging wide in resentment and wrath at the boy below him. But this time newt grips thomas’s wrist hard, newt and thomas’s knuckles go white. “Thomas.” Newt warns steadily. 

“He- he killed chuck.” he struggles to spit out, eyes never leaving Gallys now bleeding nose. Thomas’s arm shakes in Newt's hand in rage, but makes no attempt to slip from Newt's now unforgiving grip. “Yeah I know, I know. I was there too, remember?” Newt's voice is no longer filled with threat but instead his tone is calm in an attempt to rationalize with thomas. “And I also remember he was stung and half out of his mind.” Newt reminds Thomas of the state Gally was in, Thomas's eyes still locked on Gallys face. Newt looks around at the many armed soldiers surrounding them. “Just calm down, alright?” Newt faces Thomas again and for the first time since Thomas punched Gally he looks at Newt, rage still remains but with a clear sense of understanding. 

Thomas pushes himself off of gally quickly, newt following as well as he stands to his own feet next to him. After a bit of back and forth Newt and everyone else find out that gally can get them through wicked walls, at first thomas was reluctant to go anywhere with gally but after some convincing from Gally they were on their way to see a guy called “lawrence” 

On the way, Gally explains how Lawrence and his army found him and took him in as a soldier, and that they are at war with wicked. As Newt walks down the path to get to Lawrence the smell of rotting flesh and.. Roses? Attack his nose violently, he resists the urge to scrunch up his face in a weak attempt to escape the sickening smell. He hears faint mumbling about.. Noses and roses, he shoots Thomas a quick look. No wonder this guy doesn't get many visitors, he communicates silently. Thomas presses his lips into a line resisting a smile and quickly nods before facing forward once more.

Gally explains what happened and how they can get through the walls with Thomas's help, the man slowly turns towards them and limps forward, the sun making the man's grotesque face visible. Thick black veins line half the man's face even with small holes resembling barnacles, his eyes an unnaturally sickly shade. The most prominent feature is its lack of nose. Newt doesn't miss how Thomas's eyes light up, as if in some sort of understanding while the man proposes his deal. The crank and Thomas work out a deal quickly, He helps us get in for an exchange for serum. When Lawrence explains only two can go Thomas immediately picks Newt, Newt of course agrees because 1. He doesn't want to leave Thomas's side and 2. He promised to stay by Thomas's side at all times. And stay he will. 

Newt walks over to Gally who's pulling a metal off of a round hole. Gally grabs a ladder and slowly lowers it into the darkness, Newt swallows at the sight and tries to ignore the pit in his gut that tells him he will meet his demise if he goes down the ladder. Newt sees in the corner of his eye that Thomas's shoulder has a quick muscle spasm, his eyes almost seem angry at nothing at all. Newt assumes the anger is towards Gally, Newt squeezes Thomas's bicep and that seems to pull him away from his anger, Thomas looks at Newt as if being pulled back to reality and smiles almost gratefully. Newt smiles back, the fear in his gut turns into worry for thomas. He has seemed off since the tunnel and newt hasn't had a moment alone with him to ask about it, he decides tonight when they all go to sleep he will ask thomas about it. 

When Newt's feet hit the floor of the grimy wet tunnel he groans at the pungent scent that creeps up his nose and down his throat, he can practically taste the mold and germs sitting in the water. Newt, Thomas and Gally all walk through the tunnel in silence until they reach a small hole that gally leads them through. During this whole ordeal thomas’s eyes flick around at the slightest noise as if that alone will kill him, what could possibly have him so on edge?? 

Gally crouched at the exit of the small tunnel they were now crouched in, shouts that they need to be quick and just as the train wheezing by him disappears he quickly looks left and right before shouting “OK LETS GO” before hauling himself onto the train tracks, Newt and Thomas following close behind. “You love trains, don't you tommy?” Newt says playfully as gally places the metal grate back onto the tunnel they just exited. “We’ll see another one real soon! CMON!!” gally shouts the last word as he quickly breaks in a spirit forwards, newt spiriting after him with Thomas following close behind. Newt focuses on his breathing as he runs, remembering his days as a runner. In, out, in, out he repeats to himself in his mind, desperately trying to keep his bad leg stable.

Thomas shouts out a question Gally's way that Newt doesn't catch as his leg screams in protest, most days his leg was fine but it seems to play up at the worst of times. Like right now. The train tracks rattle loudly as the train follows them in quick pursuit, Newt feels the muscles in his legs weaken and he starts to limp along as fast as he can. Thomas manages to over take Newt “CMON NEWT WE GOTTA MOVE” he shrieks loudly as he runs past, Newt sees gally pull down a ladder and just as his foot touches the first step newt's leg gives out and he falls onto the tracks.

His heart pounds in his ears when his cheek hits the metal, the feeling of impending doom washes over his whole body when he feels the rubble of the train against his body. I'm not gonna make it, he realizes, the thought echoes in his mind so loud he doesnt make out Thomas's screams over Gallys footsteps rushing toward him. He only realizes what gally is doing when his body is on top of him pressing him hard into the tracks yelling at him to stay down, the train groans above him as it screeches along the tracks. Pain shoots through his entire body as gally presses him against the hard unforgiving metal. Once the train passes he groans in pain as he allows gally to pull him up, “we never were great runners were we newt?” “Well I only have one good leg,” Newt shoots back. “Yeah well i only have one good lung” he responds back in the same manner, that's when Newt feels familiar arms wrap around him as they have so many times before.

Thomas pulls Newt into a frantic embrace, before Newt can even reciprocate, Thomas pulls away and grabs at Newt's wrist checking his pulse for a second as if to check if what he's seeing is really true. His eyes flick down newts entire body and back up to his eyes before asking, “you good?” newt puts his hand on Thomas's shoulder giving it a quick squeeze before saying “I'm fine, we better go alright?” Newt nods towards gally who's walking off over to the ladder a few meters away, adrenaline seeps out of him slowly as his heart returns to its normal rate. Thomas nods and they walk towards the ladder.

—

Newt can't get the image of Thomas's face when he sees Teresa through that telescope out of his mind, the way his eyes sunk into pure fury and hatred seems off. Very off. Newt had seen Thomas mad before, no doubt about it but this was different. This was new, something dangerous. Even as the way there way back out of wicked, through the train tracks and all the way to the map room he barely spoke.

Once everyone was in the map room planning on how to get Teresa the next night Thomas didn't even look like he was present in his own body, newt couldn't focus on Gally or Brenda slaving over details and what to do if B happens instead of A. he couldn't pull his attention away from Thomas. At one point Thomas's eyes flickered like he had just been stabbed in the gut, he scrunched his eyes closed and dug his fingernails deep into his palms. Newt tried so hard to concentrate on the maps and the plan but when Newt noticed that Thomas was drawing blood he couldn't do it. Newt squeezed Thomas's knee trying to bring him back to the present but instead Thomas yanked his leg away and buried his face in his bloody hands. 

“So that's when Thomas- greenie are you listening?” gally spat angrily when Thomas did not respond for the 4th time during the meeting, gally didn't seem to notice the fact that Thomas was clearly in pain from something, instead of responding Thomas mumbled incoherently to himself. “Gally leave him.” Newt spat back in Thomas's defense, anger bubbling in his own throat now. Newt didn't know why Thomas was acting like this but there had to be a reason because he's never done this before, ever. “This was his whole fucking idea newt!!” gally yelled, waving his arm around to emphasize his point. Thomas’s breathing got heavy and loud, as if he had just ran for hours. He stood up and went to storm out, just as he got to the door his figure encased by the lack of light gally grabbed him by the collar and went to speak before Thomas spoke in a low guttural tone

“dont touch me.” before yanking Gally's arm off him and storming out, blood seeping from his hands. 

Gally stumbled back into the light, Gallys face changed from anger to realization. He was speechless as if he just got told the most shocking news of his life. Newt stood up so quick he almost tripped over his own two feet, he walked past gally for a moment he felt Gally try to pull him back. Without a word Newt shoved himself away from him and flung open the door and walked out, his eyes flicking to the ground following the light drops of blood which lead to a door on his right with the handle smudged in blood. He cautiously opens the door to find an unused storage room, the left wall covered in empty shelves and the right mostly covered in shelves except in the far right corner. 

Thomas was sat in the vacant corner, knees to his chest with his face buried in between his knees. He no longer looks to be in intense pain so that's a plus, newt cautiously walked towards him and slid down the wall and sat next to thomas. Making sure not to make contact as he did. “Tommy you have been off for a while, what's wrong?” Newt asked gently but cutting straight to the chase. Thomas did not respond for a moment as if he was struggling to decide whether he should tell him or not, as if this was the final piece of the puzzle. Newt's brain flashed an image like an echo in his head. 

EARLY WARNING SIGNS OF THE FLARE INCLUDE:

Changes in personality such as: (irritability, unprovoked anger-

…

Thomas has the flare.  

He immediately remembers how back in the tunnel how he hesitated when the crank punched through the window. The guilt and shame wrapping around his neck and strangling him like a noose, in an instant he feels his whole world fall apart. Thomas can't have the flare, Tommy can't have the flare. He can't. He just simply can't. This isn't a possibility in Newt's brain. And Newt had run over every single possibility he could possibly think of, most ending in his own death but Thomas with the flare? The reality of the situation pulls him back to reality. Newt can wallow in his guilt later, Thomas needs him. 

Thomas looks up at Newt as if he heard Newt's thought’s out loud, his face smudged slightly with blood including his hands. His eyes vacant as he smiles up at Newt. 

“Can i-?” Newt gestures to Thomas's jacket, Thomas nods weakly. Thomas sits with his legs crossed facing Newt, Newt sits on his knees looking down at him. Newt slowly unzips Thomas's jacket and sees his once white shirt stained with red across the top of Thomas's left collar bone to the middle of his chest, three rips across that look like claws. Newt's eyes widen in shock once he sees the faint black veins pulsing around the wounds as if he didn't expect that, guilt tightens in his chest at the sight. He could have prevented this.

“I need to clean it” how newt managed to say that he won't ever know. Thomas pulls off his bag, opens it and pulls out old bandages, a rag and a bottle of rubbing alcohol to clean it. Newt silently lifts Thomas's shirt off and listens as his bloody shirt unsticks from his chest and how he sucks in a quick breath through his teeth from the pain, once Newt gets his shirt off he tries not to gasp at the proper sight. It's not the newt that hasn't seen him shirtless before because he has, it's the fact that it's spread remarkably fast. Way too fast for newts liking. The black slug-like veins are at least 5 inches away from the initial wounds, and somehow dirt has built up all in the wound. 

Newt silently reaches for the rag and drenches it in rubbing alcohol, trying desperately to hide his shock and worry. He gently cleans out his wounds and apologizes more than twice, not just for the pain from the rubbing alcohol but how this is entirely his fault that Thomas is infected. If he had just fucking shot that crank- 

“its not your fault.” newt doesn't acknowledge Thomas because if he does Newt knows he won't be able to stop himself from crying like a baby, he refuses to let himself cry. Thomas is infected, not him. After a moment or two he manages to croak out “if i just shot the fucking crank-” “no. I won't let you blame yourself for this. Alright? I won't have it.” Thomas says in a stern but somehow caring tone, Newt doesn't respond and finishes cleaning his wound. Luckily he won't need stitches so Newt grabs the bandages and softly wraps it around Thomas's chest, as if he wrapped it too tight Thomas would crack like a piece of glass. When he finishes he lets out a shaky breath he didn't realize he was holding and cups Thomas's face and finally brings himself to make eye contact with him. 

“You're going to be fine. You hear me? As long as I live I won't let you turn. You got that?” He tries to sound harsh and stubborn but his words wobble dangerously as he speaks. He's of course saying this for Thomas but more so for himself, to make an oath. I won't let Thomas die. Thomas nodded quietly as Newt spoke. Newt leans his back against the shelf behind him and allows Thomas to press his back against Newt's chest, Newt wraps his arms around the shorter boy's waist and gently kisses his hair. vulnerability such as this is reserved for Thomas and Thomas only. If this was anyone else he would have demanded them that they cannot give up. He has done this for Thomas before but this situation requires tenderness and care that Newt is more than happy to give to Thomas. Newt presses his face into Thomas' hair, breathing him in. Newt feels Thomas's muscles relax as he rests the back of his head on Newt's shoulder. Newt takes in Thomas's face in its entirety, the way his jaw relaxes when he isn't concentrated, how his brown lashes curl up ever so slightly, Newt finds himself counting the freckles Thomas had gained since being out in the scorch. He counts up to 9.

He watches as Thomas's eyes get heavy and shut slowly as he gives into sleep. The others can come find them for all newt cares, in fact newt only cares about one thing and one thing only.

Thomas’s survival.

I won't let Thomas die. 

author note: guys how are we feeling...? 😰 we doing alright?? 😭 sorry for any mistakes btw, i will try an upload the next chapter soonish maybe the end of the week if I'm motivated because i somehow pumped this out in less then 2 days 😔 also expect LOTS of ProtectiveNewt™️ next chapter lol, this is the first proper fic i have ever posted on tumblr so im lowkey shitting myself

ALSO did anyone spot thg reference I made?? 🤨

NEXT

[pluckyredhead]

I have fallen down a Fourth World rabbit hole (this is @ngoziu's fault) and am now reading everything DC has ever published with these characters, in order, as is my wont, and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, so I'm going to start dumping them all here. Sorry.

Background if you have no idea what I'm talking about but want to read this post anyway (why?): in 1971, Jack Kirby left Marvel because he couldn't put up with Stan Lee any longer and came to DC, where they were like "Yes you can do anything you want" (this was a lie). He immediately began writing, drawing, and editing an incredibly ambitious epic that stretched over four simultaneously published books: Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen (we can mostly ignore this one), New Gods, Mister Miracle, and The Forever People. These books came to be known as Jack Kirby's Fourth World Tetralogy.

The books all center around the war between the utopian planet New Genesis, ruled by the benevolent Highfather, and the dystopian planet Apokalips, ruled by the evil Darkseid. At the heart of the narrative is "The Pact," aka The Cosmic Baby Swap. To ensure a (temporary) truce, Highfather and Darkseid traded sons when said children were very young - so Orion, Darkseid's son, is raised on New Genesis, and Scott Free, Highfather's son, is raised on Apokalips. Neither knows who their real father is until adulthood.

Orion grows up in a utopia, but tormented by his feelings of rage and otherness that he can't explain. Scott is raised in a torture orphanage, because that's just what happens on Apokalips, but eventually he escapes to Earth and becomes the escape artist Mister Miracle. The Cosmic Baby Swap begs what to me is the central question of the Fourth World, which is: what is the nature of good? Which boy will be a hero? The one born to good and raised by evil, or the one born to evil and raised by good?

TRICK QUESTION THEY'RE BOTH HEROES!!! GOOD IS MORE POWERFUL THAN EVIL! LOVE WINS AND FASCISM LOSES! This is so, so important to me and any version of these characters that doesn't understand the really not very complex symbolism here is invalid and kind of embarrassing for the writer (looking at you, Tom King).

Also Scott falls in love with and eventually marries Big Barda, one of Darkseid's fiercest warriors, who was born on Apokalips and raised on Apokalips and chooses good anyway. LOVE WINS AGAIN! BARDA TOPS HER TINY HUSBAND IN THE NAME OF PEACE AND COMPASSION!

Sadly DC canceled New Gods and Forever People after only 11 issues, which kind of killed Kirby's whole vision. Mister Miracle limped along until #18, but as a really pale shadow of itself. So we never really got the full scope of Kirby's original plans.

ANYWAY. That's the background. Now thoughts on the actual comics:

Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen: I love Jimmy, I love Superman, I love the Newsboy Legion, but this book feels very tangential to the whole Fourth World experiment and I think we can safely set it to the side. However, if you love the 90s Superboy series, I recommend dipping into this because it's the source material for a lot of Kon's worldbuilding (Cadmus, Dubbilex, clone Guardian, etc.).

The Forever People (1971): So I originally read all the Jack Kirby Fourth World stuff like...at least 15 years ago, when I was still relatively new to comics, and I'll be honest: I didn't get it. Kirby is sort of an acquired taste, and I didn't really have any context for what he was doing. I understood the metaphors, but I didn't get why people found the work appealing. And Forever People in particular was the book where I was like "Why. What is the point of this" the most.

Rereading it many years later, I find it to be a lot more moving and profound - like, the Happyland issue alone is a knockout. That said, Kirby is, uhhhh...not great at ensemble characterization without Lee, and the Forever People themselves are unforgivably bland. Default Guy! Big Guy! Black Guy! Girl! Kid! Props to Kirby for making it a not all-white group - and for introducing five out of seven of DC's first Black characters in the space of, like, two years - but it would have been nice if he gave them personalities, too.

New Gods (1971): This is Orion's book and the heart of the Fourth World. At its best, it's the pinnacle of "Makes no sense...compels me, though." Like, "Glory Boat?" I don't understand a single thing that happened in that comic but it's so fucking good. I just want to read thousands of words of comics scholars over the past 50 years going "????" in collective confused admiration.

Mister Miracle (1971): This was the book I was most invested in when I read the Fourth World years ago, because I already loved Scott and Barda from JLI, but now I think it's weaker than New Gods and arguably even than Forever People. Kirby doesn't seem as invested in going all in on Big Concepts here, and Scott escaping endless weird deathtraps is only compelling for so long. The later issues, after the other books were canceled and DC made Kirby pivot away from the Apokalips/New Genesis war, are nothing. But Scott and Barda (and Oberon and Shilo) are everything, so I guess it balances out. Anyway Scott clearly already knows a lot about Earth by the time he meets Oberon and Thaddeus Brown, so DC please feel free to hire me to write a Mister Miracle: Year One miniseries about Scott's arrival on Earth, thank you.

Okay, now for the post-Kirby (or really, intra-Kirby) stuff:

Mister Miracle (1977): This picks up the numbering from the Kirby series, running from #19-25, and was written by Steve Englehart and then Steve Gerber, and it sucks so bad. For three reasons, in escalating importance:

Riddled with continuity holes and factual errors that don't match what Kirby established. Himon is shown on New Genesis - how did he get there? Metron is depicted as subservient to Highfather when Kirby showed him as a neutral, independent agent. Etc.

The treatment of non-Scott characters is largely terrible. Oberon is written really condescendingly (Scott's like "Ride on my shoulders like you used to!" even though they definitely did not ever do that before, because Oberon is not a child). When Scott feels guilty that he's not actively fighting the war, Highfather's like "I don't want you to fight because I feel bad that I traded you to Darkseid, let Orion do it" as if that isn't the root of Orion's severe emotional trauma TOO. And worst of all is Barda, who is knocked out and captured in the first issue and spends pretty much the entire rest of the series unconscious, waiting for Scott to rescue her - except for the brief scene where she wakes up brainwashed, requiring Scott to beat the shit out of her. Lovely.

The series is reeeally fixated on the notion that Scott is a god, and extrapolates that to Scott deciding he's the messiah. Now, I'm not going to say that the Fourth World can't be used to explore Christian themes just because Kirby is Jewish, because Kirby was very definitely exploring biblical themes extensively and frankly I don't know enough about the Bible to say whether he was sticking religiously (ha) to the Old Testament. But I do think taking one of the central characters of a Jewish man's magnum opus and making him the messiah is, uh, pushing it. And there's no way to argue he's not a Christian messiah because, uh, he T-poses a lot in this series and Granny also specifically states that if Scott is the messiah, she'll find an anti-Christ to combat him (which...wouldn't that sort of by default be Orion? which just further proves that the idea of a messiah really doesn't work in the Fourth World framework). Anyway it's gross and I hate it.

New Gods (1977): I'm kind of using this as a catchall to cover all of Gerry Conway's New Gods work, which includes the actual 1977 New Gods series (which picks up the numbering from Kirby, so it's #12-19), the conclusion of the story in Adventure Comics, and the Justice League of America crossover with the Fourth World. (Also there's one issue of Super-Team Family where Lightray and Metron team up with the Flash to save Orion, who has grown really really big, but that doesn't fit with the rest of Conway's continuity so I guess we can ignore it.)

Anyway this stuff is not as infuriating as Mister Miracle, but it's also not...good. The central concept is that Darkseid has discovered that the Anti-Life Equation is contained within the brains of six humans, so Highfather sends six New Gods to protect said humans: Orion, Lightray, Metron (he doesn't work for you, Highfather), Forager (also does not work for you), Lonar, and Sensational Character Find of 1977, Jezebelle of the Fiery Eyes (Original Character Do Not Steal).

Mostly this series is frustrating because all the New Gods are wildly incompetent and fail completely at their tasks. Orion is dumbed down to The World's Most Basic Superhero (he has a big O on his chest now!). I spent the whole time yelling "HE CAN'T FLY, GERRY!" at the comics. Forager is lumped in with no mention of that whole thing where...he's a New God who was raised among the Bugs, who are being persecuted by the New Gods? I feel like that should be explained or at least addressed? (Presumably Kirby would have gotten around to it eventually.) Forager also should not be flying but here he does. I guess. Lonar flies too but mostly on his horse, which bothers me less for some reason, I'll accept a flying horse. (Also Lonar's human he's supposed to protect is Inuit and hoo boy is this comic racist. The poor guy wears a fur diaper the whole time and speaks a completely made up language.)

And then there's Jezebelle of the Fiery Eyes. Who is blue, for reasons that are never explained, and wears a bikini and fishnets because it's 1977, and mentions her fiery eyes (heat vision) every time she speaks. She's from Apokalips, but defected to New Genesis during battle. Which, like...I appreciate that Conway recognized that this team should have a female character, but what with Orion, Scott, Barda, and Inexplicably Present Himon, it feels like we have enough characters who have defected from Apokalips in some way? And it's just super weird that the ONLY female characters we have seen from New Genesis are Beautiful Dreamer of the Forever People (trapped in another dimension indefinitely) and Scott's dead mom. Like, what's the implication here? Heaven doesn't have women? Also, I know Conway was going for biblical names to match New Genesis and Izaya (he also introduces a Lucifar), but, like...Jezebelle? JEZEBELLE. Your only female New God and you named her "whore." Amazing.

And with that, we have covered the New Gods in the 70s (minus some Mister Miracle/Batman teamups). Next time: the 80s, and Kirby tries so so hard to kill Orion but DC won't let him.

[savannahsdeath]

SOCCER!ELLIE X CHEERLEADER!READER

PART 5FIVE aka; the epilogue

part 4four

warnings: minors safe !!🩷

writers note: finally the end ugh.. im not gonna lie, i hate how the whole 'series' (its too short to be called a series, but wtv) turned out, so im glad to finish it. though, im looking forward to make another fic with actual plot and not just smut, tho an abby one (i already have the epilogue written and im so so excited🤭)

you felt stupid. stupid, but mostly hurt. you couldn't understand why a small part of you wanted to believe that vi did nothing wrong. that small part of you wanted to end all of this, get on good terms with vi and be with ellie.

although, you weren't hurt by cheating itself. after all, you thought that's what happened for the past months, so you were already mentally prepared for that.

whatever.

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

you and ellie went through all the usual motions of a happy couple together, though not as an official couple yet. you spent time with each other and your friends, and you slowly forgot about the past and all the drama you had experienced.

you didn't forget about vi, though. you still felt guilty about the way you let her manipulate you like that. you could still hear her voice in your mind, telling you love isn't something you both have and, probably, never had.

you decided she shouldn't be a part of your life anymore, and you did your best to avoid her. she didn't know that you know, though it was obvious, since the rumours continued. you just didn't care anymore. not about her, at least.

ellie didn't speak much about the past, and you didn't either, because you felt like you didn't need to. the past was the past, and now you were looking forward to your future together.

you started thinking less and less about vi, soon managing to get her out of your mind for the whole day. not much, but after what happened, it was a big success. she was no longer a part of your life. ellie was, and that's all that mattered to you now.

you spent more and more time with her. you got to know her team better, returning the favor by taking her to your friend group's meeting.

you told luccy, your best friend, about the whole situation. it took you a good few hours to explain everything.

luccy listened to your entire story, impressed by the twists and turns it took. you could tell she was almost as surprised as you, her eyes widening with each sentence.

"well, no wonder you were so confused," she said politely, "but at least you have ellie now, and you seem happy together." she paused for a moment, before asking; "do you miss vi at all?"

you sighed and closed your eyes, imagining every good moment with her and comparing it to the happiness ellie brought you.

it was almost impossible to answer your friend's question.

on one hand, you had had great moments with vi, and you could even admit that you loved her.

and then there's ellie - which made you remember that your ex wasn't there for you when you needed it.

"no, i don't think so." you replied, ashamedly looking down. "ellie makes me feel like i never even truly loved vi."

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

i want to add some 'last words' about this fic, especially this part. a lot of you guys will probably be mad at me for not taking any revenge. but you, as the reader, have to understand that its not that easy. after being so hurt, after hearing so many lies, all you wanted was a normal relationship. a stable, honest and calm one. the one you got with ellie. you knew getting revenge would only complicate things - you probably wont be able to forget her at all once youd put salt on the wounds all over again. just the fact that she has to see you happy with ellie, while shes left alone, is enough. thanks to everyone who supported the series<3

TAGS: @wandasromanova @bellaramslover @aouiaa @glennns-blog @elliewilliamsfuckbuddy @iheartsadiesink @ximtiredx @coff1nn @jowdann @simpforellie @iveofficiallylostmymarbles @skylerwhitwyo @pinkigirl @islalips @ratdungeon @okayyesbutno @dinoastronaut @ucannotcompare @elyonz @lesbiantothemoonandback @lovejuliettq @param8re @r3wbeef and some more i cant tag for unknown reasons:(

[rainyorca]

☾

Reader’s powers are loosely based off a wolf, think Wolfsbane from Wolverine and the X-men.

The moon shines brightly down on the Blackbird, the engine is just a quiet rumble. Most of the team is asleep, quiet snoring fills the soundscape but it's much louder in your ears. 

However there was an absence among those snores, Scott. Unable to sleep, you opened your eyes, seeing his dark silhouette in the pilot seat. You unstrap the seatbelt, getting up and walking to the passenger seat. He didn't seem to notice you at first. 

“Scott,” you say, his name sounding pleasant on your tongue. 

He turns his head to look at you, his visors glowing softly. The moon allows some light in, as well as the glow from the controls, just enough so he could see your face, or so you could see his.

“You’re bleeding,” he states, reaching over to wipe the blood off your face. He only smears it, the blood staining the pad of his thumb when he pulls away. 

“You need to rest,” you hum, watching him turn to look ahead. “I’m not tired,” he responds simply, keeping his eyes on the sky. 

“You can't lie to me,” you point out quietly, “I spent most of my younger years hunting for my food, I know when my prey is tired, Scott.” 

“I'm your prey?” 

“That’s not the point.”

You watch his lips twitch, as if he was planning on saying something, but he stays quiet. You continue to stare at him, eyes looking over his body for any injuries, your nose searching for any sign of blood. 

“You're injured, Scott,” you say when you catch a whiff of his blood, “I can smell it. How long have you been bleeding?”

“I’ll get myself fixed up when we get back,” he looks at you, you can feel the intensity in his eyes. 

“Then at least let me fly.” 

“Absolutely not,” he mutters, dismissing you with a hand, “go rest.”

“I am nocturnal,” you remind him, “it's a part of my mutation, I can't sleep at night for long hours like you guys can without getting restless. Let me fly, or at least watch the autopilot.” 

He presses his lips into a line, like he was trying to decide. “I'm fine,” he responds after a second. You sit back crossing your arms over your chest. He's stubborn, just as much as you, but you like that about each other. 

“Tell me about your past,” he breaks the silence, still looking forward, “you mentioned you lived in Alaska for some time. I’m from Alaska, you know.”

You look at him sideways, furrowing your brows while you think of what to tell him. “What do you wanna know?” you ask, trying to see if there was anything specific.

“Everything,” he returns, “you said you used to hunt for food, tell me about that.”

You explain to him your life during your younger years before joining the X-men, hoping it’ll make him tired or at least bore him to sleep. Your past wasn't all that interesting, but he proceeds to ask you questions, showing he was following along. 

Eventually you guys make it back to the mansion, you go and wake everyone up, except Logan who must have woken up shortly before you arrived. Everyone either hits the showers or immediately goes to crash in their rooms. But you sought out Scott once again. 

He was alone in the laboratory, sitting on one of the cold, metal tables. You watch him from the doorway, his back facing you, but you can hear the pain he's in, see it in the way his body tenses everytime he presses on the wound. There's gauze scattered around the floor below him, all drenched and stained with blood. 

He hisses when he presses another to his wound, his hands shaking from the pain. You walk in quietly, placing a hand on his bare back while you move in front of him. “Didn't want to ask Hank for help?” you ask, slowly reaching down to grab his hand and pull it off his wound. He flinches at your touch but allows you to pull his hand and the gauze away. 

“Didn't want to wake him,” he responds, watching you stare at the wound. “This is a pretty deep wound, Scott,” you say, brows furrowing as you take a closer look, “you wont need stitches but it’ll scar.”

“I know.”

“You need to stop treating yourself like a machine,” you sigh, moving away from him to grab a rag, wetting it with warm water and then walking back, “you keep this up you’ll end up falling apart. Hold still.” 

You carefully rub the area around the wound, cleaning up the blood that has spilled onto his skin. Then you pat it dry with the dry side before tossing the rag aside and moving to dig in the drawers for more gauze and bandage. 

“You need to take better care of yourself,” you continue, pressing the gauze on the wound and carefully wrapping him up with the bandage. You feel his warm hand against your face, making you look up at him. His blood gets on your skin, the deep red color leaving its mark. 

You stare up at him, but keep your expression still. “You have such big, beautiful eyes,” he says quietly, barely a whisper. You reach up, resting your hand on his and nuzzling your face into his palm. You close your eyes, letting out a quiet sigh as you take in his scent.

 “More a doe than a wolf,” he murmurs, you open your eyes to look at him, “I wish I could see them more clearly.”

You press your nose to his palm, inhaling his scent again. Scott’s scent is much deeper than just whatever body wash he uses or cologne. You think of it like perfume.

His top notes, what everyone else smells, fresh laundry, slightly floral. His middle notes were amber, a dash of nutmeg. His base notes, the scent you can smell. Pine and sandalwood, aquatic. He had a type of woodsy musk that you loved, reminded you of home. You can smell it through the metallic scent of his blood. 

He always wonders what he smells like to you. Logan describes him to smell different than Scott expected, but with you, maybe it was different.

You could stay here for hours, face in his hand, the ambient sound of machines humming. What was strange about this, you and Scott weren't even in a relationship. You shared these moments of skin to skin contact as often as time would allow, but in secret. The team doesn't know, and in your eyes they don't have to know. People like Jean or Charles have an idea, Logan definitely knows from the way you simply talk about Scott. That man can figure out anything. 

His hand moves from your face, his fingers brushing your lips as he pulls away, staining them red. “Sorry,” he mutters, noticing the large bloody mark on your cheek. You don't say anything, instead you bring your fingers to your lips before swiping your tongue over to clean up the blood.

He hops down from the table, picking up his bloodied gauze, throwing it in the trash, and then picking up his shirt. Your eyes follow him, watching him move about the room before heading to the door. He pauses before looking back at you. 

“Get some rest,” he says simply, the ghost of a smile on his face before he turns off the light and disappears down the hallway.

It felt a lot colder in that room after he left.

My last little drabble with him (for now). I need to focus on finishing the two halloween fics I'm working on. Maybe I'll turn this into a long fic if anyone is interested? This is loosely inspired by this twitter post.

[cyverrieee]

ＣＹＶＥＲ ＦＩＬＥＳ

𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝙼𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝙰𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙰𝚣𝚞𝚕

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚૮꒰˵•ᵜ•˵꒱ა‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷

➳ 01 : I love the little mermaid growing up so

for real, it gave me some ideas from @thecoolsquirrel 's post (hehe) ANYWAYS I love Azul sm. I altered the plot to match Azul's backstory or smth-

➳ 02 : Contains random merpeople names😝

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚૮꒰˵•ᵜ•˵꒱ა‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 : 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐎𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐨𝐭

— ... —

Growing up, Azul never had friends before middle school. He was seen as the odd one out because of his chubby stature and eight legs. He would always stay in his pot because he's scared. Scared that someone would talk bad about him, that is—before he met the two leech twins. He had fun with them, standing up for Azul to stop his bullies

At that time, he was studying everything he can get from the school library. He won't lie; he's interested in land dwellers but where he lives. They despise them, they ruin their homes and take stuff from the reefs! Azul's mother even hated them more. She always told Azul to never go to the surface because "who knows what danger lies in land", yes it's true. He doesn't know anything about the land as much but he's curious enough for a peep! He started collecting the stuff the land dwellers drop in sea.

“Haaa? What's this?”

Floyd talked, Jade looking at the different items that Azul hoarded in his secret collection room. Floyd holds a danglehopper (a fork), doing random stuff to see it's purpose.

“Oh well.. I'm not sure! But the white Bird from the surface told me it's something land dwellers use to comb their hair”

Azul explained like the nerd he was, adjusting his glasses in the process. Jade looks at his brother who was combing his hair with the "danglehopper". The three metal bristles smoothly brush through Floyd's sleek teal locks. He was in awe by it, Jade only laughs in amusement

“Hey 'zul! Mind if I keep it?”

Floyd yelled, Azul sighed playfully with a pout

“I knew you were gonna say that. But sure.. ”

Azul murmured, Floyd flicks his eel tail with glee. Jade looks around and finds a box full of silver and gold circular objects. The calmer leech twin grabs one from the box. It shimmered a golden hue— Jade clicked a small button on the front of the weird circular object. The top flung open showing a long hand and a small hand. Azul saw Jade's interest towards the circular metal objects

“I haven't named those things yet. The white Bird also told me that land dwellers use these to tell time"

He muttered, Floyd let out a small "ahhh" at the explanation. Jade nodded and asked in interest.

“Mind if i take something like this?”

Azul agreed, Jade thanked Azul for letting him have one of these circular shiny objects. Dawn hit— and the twins returned back home with Azul, Azul has always hid his secret interest of Land Dweller items from his parents; knoeing them, they won't be happy if they knew this.

The silver haired octopus sat with his family for dinner. Azul's mother was talking with his father, leaving Azul all silent, but he prefered that since he was busy thinking of a way to get some more information in Land Dwellers. Him and his parents did have some small talks before and after dinner, but after that– Azul just goes to his room to think of ways to learn about humans. Even til now he was interested in them..

He wont lie, he kind of dreams for a partner in his life. Its a dream— he knows that, knowing him being an octopus that no one wants. He just didn't have the time to believe in that fairy tale of his. Well before he met such a charming young royal who fell of their ship..

꒷︶꒷꒥꒷‧₊˚૮꒰˵•ᵜ•˵꒱ა‧₊˚꒷︶꒷꒥꒷

➥ 𝐇𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲'𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬! 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧. 𝐔𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 :(

! ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ғᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʏ ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ��! ᴅʀɪɴᴋ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴀᴛ ғᴏᴏᴅ ᴀᴄᴄᴏʀᴅɪɴɢʟʏ !

ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ'ʟʟ sᴇᴇ ᴍʏ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ!

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ!

Chapter 2 ->

[azurlily]

Dating Cassandra Kiramman would be like:

"Oh, well hello there. I'm Cassandra Kiramman, I'm sure you know-"

You tripped and fell. I dont make the rules. You got flustered, tried to walk away, and then tripped and fell back onto her.

You thought she was going to practically kill you. Instead, when you got up she grabbed you and pulled you a bit closer.

Reminding you to be careful. She proceeded to continue what she was talking about and at the end of the night invited you over for tea for the next morning.

When you went over she was flirting the entire time. She was very touchy and tried to get into your brain. She wanted to know everything she could about you.

You realized what was going on an reminded her she has a husband. She laughed. She fucking laughed.

She explains that her and her husband are polyamorous(this is kind of a lie oh her part) and he has no issues if she takes on new lovers. In fact he quite encourages it.

You were sceptical but she proved to not be lying. So, where does that leave you?

As hers of course! She takes you out and shows you off. While your relationship isn't exactly open, it isn't private either.

No one seems to ask questions when they see how close you two are. Hell, not even her own daughter asks questions.

You know she has money and you know she lives a lavish lifestyle. What you didn't know is that, now, so do you.

You want her to buy you something? Just ask, she'll get it and more. Theres a pretty set of earrings you want? Show her, they're yours.

Cassandra's very protective, she knows that being so close to someone with so much power can make you target for Zaunites or others that want to hurt the council.

Cassandra has a bodyguard watching you when she isn't around. She just cant risk losing you, no, she wont allow it.

She dresses you up. She goes into stores and buys whatever she believes is good enough for you, and had you wear them. Doesn't matter what it is, could be a cute dress, some shoes, new lingerie.

She(much like her daughter) loves to take you out of lavish dates. She'll find the pretties places in Piltover and take you.

If there is somewhere in specific you want to go, just say so. She'll set it up as soon as possible.

Balls. Like dancing, music, those types of things. She takes you and flaunts you off. While she isn't the best at PDA, in private is an entirely different story.

She'll hold you close and dance with you, stopping every few songs to dance with her husband.

Speaking of husband. How do you feel about him? He treats you with the utmost respect, and you two barely see eachother. The last time you saw him he told you that Cassandra had stopped talking to her other lovers.

It was just you and him. You knew she had other lovers, and didn't really realize how much time she was spending with you.

You two talked and Cassandra admitted, you captivated her. Your are just so beautiful, and an amazing personality to go with it. She loves you so much.

Fighting was never something you two did often. It has happened once or twice, and usually, it ends with her calling for you.

She'll call you, wether you answer determines how she reacts. If she has to call you more than three times for you to answer after, well the conversation gets heated.

She tells you shes sorry, and at that point she's crying. She was so afraid of losing you, she cant lose you. She pushed everyone else away, just for you.

She wont let you go. She knows it and so do you. You eventually come to her house and she showers you with love and attention.

She apologizes profusely and even if she didn't mean it, you dont think you couldn't not forgive her.

Cassandra treats you like her princess, while yes, she knows the dangers of the two of your dating and how much trouble you would be in. She takes precautions to make sure you never get hurt.

Cassandra worships you(you do the same) she treats you like you're her goddess. She treats you like you're important... no. She treats you like you're more important than her husband, and that threw you off.

You noticed you've been seeing less and less of him. Until she tells you, the two are staying married for Caitlyn, and political reasons. She never really loved him, even if he loved her.

She had other lovers to fill the gap, fill the need for another. Not just any other, you.

You don't know this, but shes been watching you for a while now and now she has you. You are just so, darling...

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

Control, resolve, sadism. Those are the three things this woman knows best.

She knows how to get you to listen, be you a brat or not.

She has great resolve, she's patient and willing to draw things out.

She likes to see you cry, she likes seeing you in pain.

Let's be honest, Cassandra is a regal, annoyingly hot, and rich bitch. She can take you anywhere, anytime. She of course had a reputation and would never.

She's thought of it more than once before, though. Imagining someone walking in as she has you on your knees tounge inside her, her gloved hand running through your hair.

She has a thing for oral. She loves when you eat her out. The first time you did it she was a mess, lord knows she couldn't move for bit after.

Cassandra likes the idea of you being clothe-less while she is mostly dressed. It gives her a sense of pride knowing that you submit in such a way.

Knowing that you trust her is a big thing in her eyes. Cassandra doesn't want you to be afraid of her sadistic tendencies and if you are she is more than willing to cut it out of sex entirely.

If you're a masochist this makes things easier for you both. Cassandra will most definitely have you on your knees prepared for her to spank you till your ass is cherry red.

She has a mommy kink. Loves being called mommy, and will call you variations of baby, baby girl, pet. So on and so forth.

She checks in, she needs to make sure you're okay. Especially on days you're doing something that's going to put you in a weak state of mind.

Overstimulation is something she enjoys as a punishment for you. She adores the idea of you lying back twitching, shaking, cum between your thighs, and tears on your face.

The idea of it sends her into a frenzy.

"Oh- oh, yes! Yes, keep going, good girl, such a good girl! Yes, mommy needs this, you know just how- how to. F-fuck!"

When she needs you, she'll take you. Even if she must wait, once you two are in the comfort of her home. She's taking you in every way possible.

Cassandra's an experimentalist, she's willing to try(almost) anything once. She knows you have needs and like things that she might not know of, or find all too pleasurable.

She is more than willing to try at least once.

You've tried a scene where you're a maid whose broken something, and she punishes you.

She takes you into her room and has you undress. She grabs a flogger and has you bend over her lap.

"Tch, you broke a very, very important vase. It was gifted to by an important noblewoman. Since you refuse to do your job right, I'll have to take this into my own hands. Start counting."

50. Your punishment was 50. It hurt, and after she had her fingers inside you. She edged you, not letting you cum. Repeatedly getting you so close to relief, but never truly giving it.

Her aftercare is something else. She caters everything specifically to you. She buys beverages, and other things she knows you in specific like. She takes her time finding the best brands.

She buys special blankets for the two of you to snuggle in, she buys soap in comforting smells and bath salts too. She takes care of you because she knows how rough she can get. And doesn't want you to feel as though she doesn't love you.

It's been fixed.

[ashascoven]

☽ ✯ venture x witch! reader pt. 3! ✯ ☾

✯ welcome back everyone, to part three!!! (here is part one, and part two!)

✯ sorry for this taking so long, my mind has been brainrotting with valorant and roblox i cant lie...

✯ i was also a bit stuck on how i wanted to go about this... but every like has just been more motivation to keep trying to continue this, so thank you <3

✯ hope there's people out there enjoying this, happy reading!!!

☆ FANFIC DEETS! venturexreader ☆

reader is a female who practices witchcraft! i wrote her that way because i also am a witch irl! :,)

VERY lengthy build-up fanfic (LOTS of reading.. i type a lot i think?)

venture is referred to as sloan <3

lifeweaver is besties with the reader, referred to as niran!

everything related to witchcraft here may be exaggerated / inaccurate for fanfic purposes.. but i tried writing it all into an experience > just reading!!

eventual ritual smut....

feel free to hmu, hope u enjoy :D

“IM HOOOMMEEEE, MII AMOOORR~!!!! ⊂( ´ ▽ ` )⊃”

You gritted you teeth at the rock muncher that just busted through the front door, their hand happily waving in the air at you.

You shook your head and took a visible breath, cracking your knuckles.

“please, excuse me niran.”

“mhm! take all of the time you nee-”

“AAAOOOOWWWWW!!!! IM SORRYY!!! WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME?!? I THOUGHT YOU'D MISS ME??!??? (>д<)”

“WHY DID YOU STEAL MY JARS THIS MORNING??!? WHAT DID YOU EVEN DO WITH THEM??!? HUH????”

“I ONLY USED ONE FOR YOUR FOOD EARLIER I SWEA- AAHHHHHH MI AMOR PLEASE!!!!!! HAVE MERCY!!!! ヽ(￣д￣;)ノ”

“mercy? haha, i’m sure angela would react the same if it were her and her morning tea being stolen~ (＾◡＾)” Niran chuckled, taking a sip of his.

He watched as you had Sloan on the floor in a chokehold, their bag and drill frantically thrown to the side of the doorway.

Their hands were desperately trying to pull yours off of their neck, but you didn't budge. 

You looked down at them with murder in your eyes, fully prepared to make them beg for their life.

“tell me where the rest of my jars are.”

“y/n.. please, have mercy-..” 

They were starting to turn red, eyes squinting in extreme discomfort as they practically wiggled under your freakishly strong grasp on them.

Were they into this or not? They couldn't tell, but they definitely weren't being let off easily.

“you tell me what you took my waters for, where they are, and what made you not consider just ASKING me.. and MAYBE i wont boil you into a cauldron stew."

“mi a-amor-”

“WHERE ARE THEY, SLOAN.”

“i c-can explain if yo-”

“I WON'T HESITATE TO TURN YOU INTO BONE MEAL FOR THE PLANTS!!!! SPIT IT OUT!!”

“w-wait that'd actually be-”

“be WHAT?”

You suddenly loosened your grip on their neck, moving your hands up to holding their face and staring at them with a frown.

“..aweeesoomme◝(⁰▿⁰)◜???”

“...”

“listen, i know it prooobaablyy looked bad, b-but i promise i didn't mean any..”

You slowly leaned down towards their ear and pushed aside their headset, making them trail off from their words. 

“no, you listen to me.”

You spoke in a low tone, earning a nervous gulp in response. 

The excavator’s entire body shivered at the way your voice rang through their skull, cooing to them like a gentle warning that they were dead meat the split second Niran left.

“i was in the middle of doing a tarot reading for niran before you came home, and i need to go finish that up for him.”

“when im done, you better have prayed to every god you know.. because when i get to you, sloan cameron..”

You leaned closer, lowering into a whisper.

“you're gonna be begging for forgiveness.”

With that, you got up and made your way back to the kitchen, dusting the dirt from Sloan's clothes off of your own.

They, on the other hand, stayed on the floor for a minute with wide eyes, breath hitched in their throat, trying to process how they wanted to feel about what you just did.

Yeah, they did essentially steal from you with no explanation, and you seemed reasonably mad at them for it, but why was their face burning?

“niran, i am so sorry about that.. interruption.” You rubbed your forehead, taking a seat across from him again.

“no worries! you can always take the time you need, i’m never in a hurry anyway.”

“thank you.. gosh, you're always so kind and patient with everything, i dunno how you do it.”

It was your turn to lean on the table with your face in hand, glancing over at the phased out sloan still sitting by the door.

“hah, if i’m being honest, i’m not sure either.”

He shrugged his shoulders, reaching down to pet the raccoon and possum that were now rubbing against his leg.

“i just approach everything with a- uh.. pardon me, but are they supposed to be doing.. that?”

Niran tilted his head, pointing at Sloan. They seemed to be standing near an altar of yours, one of your salt lamps about to.. enter their mouth.

“hu- SLOAN, YOU PUT MY LAMP DOWN RIGHT NOW! |･д･)ﾉ”

They quickly set it down in embarrassment like a child getting caught doing something they're not supposed to. How they got up so quickly and found the covered lamp on one of your altars was unknown to you.

“sorry..! forgot again- and heey niran! sorry for not saying it earlier.. (⇀‸↼‶)”

They rubbed the back of their neck in shame, looking at the floor.

Whenever they felt bad about something, their go-to was munching at.. questionable things. A lot of times, they won't even realize they're doing it, and that's how lots of your things go missing.

“hello!- (٥⁀▽⁀ )／”

“..ahem! anywho.”

“mhm?”

“niran, do you feel like my reading resonated with you?”

“hmm.” He took the last sip of his tea before setting it down.

“i do feel as if.. it resonates, but not for me.”

“oh?” You raised a brow.

“rather.. y/n, don't you think it all sounded very familiar?”

“eh? really? how.. so?”

He gestured towards your lover, who was nervously fidgeting at the door, seemingly waiting for you. 

It looked like it took every bone in their body to not pick your lamp back up again and start biting.

“wh.. what do you mean? i don't think my partners.. stupid, they're very smart for the work they do…?” 

You hadn’t picked up on it somehow, your mind defaulting to showing off your lover to others.. even though you had just.. threatened said lover.

“no, my friend, what was your answer to my question earlier?”

“about how i was doing?.. uhh..?? i don- oh… oh.”

You turned in your seat and looked back at Sloan, who had caved and started biting at the lamp.

You could see them stop to ‘shush’ the bugs in their respective jars on your altar, not wanting them to tattle for what they were witnessing.

If anything, thank goddesses it was the lamp being eaten and not.. the bugs themselves.

“damn, i must've really made em’ scared huh.”

You both kept watching, but they didn't notice their audience yet, too nervously deep into their comforting eating session.

“it's normal, but i'm not sure about the salt-eating thing though..”

“yeah.. i’ve got to sign them up for that strange addiction tv show sometime.”

“agreed. ( ❛ᴗ❛ )”

“but anyway, ya know.. you're entirely right, it makes a lot of sense.” You ran a hand through your hair with a sigh.

“well, don't forget to give yourself most of the credit, y/n.. you were the one who read the cards after all! i’m impressed!”

“ahh, thank you, but? doesn't that mean i basically.. did that reading on myself? what about you?”

“don't worry about me, I'm quite content with what we've learned today~”

“hmmmmm… you.. sure?” 

“mhm! if you truly are worried about the results of this reading, then can i ask you to do some other things for me instead?”

“oh? of course! what is it?”

“for starters, i think you should.. remember to be more patient with yourself.. and them.” He nudged his head towards Sloan’s direction.

“i fully believe that you two thrive together as a couple, so conflicts, like mentioned in your reading, shouldn't push you two apart.”

“i.. see.” You turned around to look at them again, your eyes squinting at the way your lamp was now half-way gone and probably in their stomach.

“yup! there truly is no rush to every little thing in life.. it's best enjoyed when you bask into each ray of light for how bright they really are, not for how bask-worthy you were expecting, right?”

“pshh, it's like i’m the one being soul read now,” you jokingly rolled your eyes, “but gosh, you're so right.”

“hmph, do i really just.. expect too much of them? like in your honest opinion, am i too.. harsh..?”

“from what i’ve seen, no. your current frustration is valid, given how this has never happened before. it seems right to be confused.. to want answers.. but, would you say you trust them?”

“huh? oh of course i do, why wouldn't i?”

“i think you should keep at that. have they ever wronged you?”

“outside of.. being the reason i could never keep ingredients for spells in the house.. no?”

“then, you should help their flowers flourish, even if you're not sure what seeds they've planted yet.”

“ah.. i definitely get what you're saying.”

“yes?”

“to be more patient and open-minded of them right now, and get back at them with a really well-thought out ritual later! maybe ill even get my witchy ancestors onto them? (っ˘ω˘ς )” You grinned, jokingly plotting your partner’s karma.

“..sure. (¯▿¯)”

“thank you a lot niran.. if you weren't here, i probably would've strangled them to death already.”

“HEY! THAT WOULDN'T BE A NICE WAY TO DIE THOUGH! ( `ε´ )”

“SHUT IT, LAMP EATER! ლ(¯ロ¯"ლ)”

“ahem, seriously, thank you a ton. your words will definitely be kept in mind when i.. deal with that knucklehead.”

Cartoon-like sparkles and hearts practically radiated off of you as you innocently thanked Niran.

You smiled happily, knowing good and well what you were planning for your lover when he left.

“of course, y/n! anytime you need something, i’m a phone call away! i trust that you'll take care of your partner just fine~ (ง ื▿ ื)ว”

Getting up and clasping his hands together, he took his cup to the sink. He tried to wash it, but you shoo’ed him away with a ‘nono, i got it, you're good!’

“thank you.. with that being said.. i’m afraid it's actually time for me to go. i have my own flower awaiting me at home, but it was a lovely morning spent with you! (⌒ω⌒)”

He made his way to the door, patting Sloan’s head before putting his sandals back on.

“likewise! thank you for this, really.” 

You followed him, casually whacking your partner in the head and earning a ‘hey! >:(‘ out of them.

“of course! send me those love spell recipes for my bap when you get a chance, yah? (¬‿¬ )”

“only if you tell me how they work out for you two! (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ”

You waved as he headed out with his umbrella, shooting you a thumbs-up before leaving.

“w-whew! it's a niiiccee raiinyy day, isn't it??!? i h-hope you two had a nice morni-”

“sloan.”

“i- u-uh-.. hiiii..yaaa? :,D”

“sloan cameron.”

“..im so fucked.”

“soo,” you had to remind yourself to be easy on Sloan with a heavy sigh, “..did youu.. take my jars of moon water to work?”

“y-yeah-”

“and.. did you bring them back?”

“s..sorta?-”

“SORTA?”

“i m-mean, i did! i brought them back but-”

“..but what?”

You caught yourself and sighed.

“sorry.. it's just? i’ve been stressed out almost all morning about this.. i’ve been curing those for like, three years now, every full moon, non-stop.”

You paced around in front of them, twiddling your hands in your own frantics of their responses.

“you-.. three years??!?”

“yes??? i've told you this over and over.. why do you think i’m so worked up over this?” You stood in front of them with crossed arms, eyeing them over.

“oh my god- i-?!?” They wrapped their arms around you.

“i'm s-so sorry for using some of it for your food this morning mi amor..! believe me, i w-wouldn't have even touched them if i had remembered! ugh, stupid sloan.. stupid me! the one time i try to change things up and it jus-”

They pulled away to cover their face in guilt, on the verge of crying and pleading to make it up to you, but you stopped them in their thoughts, it being your turn to hug them.

“it's okay, baby. just.. don't sweat it, it's the thought that counts.” You ignored your eye twitching, your arms around them unconsciously getting a bit tighter.

They felt themselves melt into the tight hold of your arms, their nerves starting to wash away in relief that you weren't angry at them. 

Their emotions almost hit them all at once like a bulldozer.

“i shouldn't have touched your things in the first place… i-i just thought you'd trust me and I could do something to make you happ-"

“sloan, it's okay, ya know? whatever it is you did with those jars, just…” you suppressed your eye twitches, trying so hard to not think about the dedication you put into some water, “i-its no biggie, you're good, i still love you.”

“man, i love you too.. i reeaallyy don't deserve you, mi vida..” They let themselves lean even more into your hold, the both of you hugging each other for a quiet minute.

The tension slowly going away between you two was nice, and you once again wished you could hold Sloan like this forever.

“oh! right!!! i still should uh-! s-show you what i used them for, since they're not actually gone or anything!” They suddenly pulled away, shuffling in their giant pockets.

“i dunno if i did it right.. or if it's silly? b-but i figured uh.. try my hands at charging some freshly mined crystals for you this time! (つ≧▽≦)つ” 

They guided you to the kitchen, pulling out the jars from their pockets and placing them on the dining table.

“o-oh?!? woah! they're..??!? still covered and everything, hello!??” You covered your mouth in surprise, not actually expecting to see the jars again.

“y-yeah! i didn't even know you kept them for so long but i.. i knew it was important that the sunlight didn't touch them, so i thought it'd be.. nice if i gave you these beauties with all of the energy from the water poured into them already! that's.. how that works right..?”

“awwwhh, slooann..!!” You gushed, the smile on your face already hurting your cheeks.

“l-listen! it's probably better when you do it, since you have those magical witchy hands n’ stuff.. but i wanted to show you how cool i think you are by taking after what you do!! if it's.. weird or anything though, then uh.. ill jus- mph!”

You cut them off with your lips against theirs, holding their face and letting the wave of relieved honor take over your body.

The fluttering in your chest was from realizing how much thought they were putting into these little gifts for you, and it helped wipe away any lingering frustrations you previously had with them.

You tried not to dwell on your own rightful confused anger with feeling bad, clinging to the advice Niran gave you.

It was better to just focus on what things really were right now, and this? This wasn't a case purely of stealing or foolishness, it was just Sloan trying to do something meaningful for you.

It was already sweet that they brought back raw crystals for you from work all the time simply because they knew you liked them, not to mention how expensive and hard they are to acquire normally.. 

But, to actually try and charge and cleanse them for you too? 

Trying to replicate what they've watched you do with gemstones and water before?

They might as well have proposed on the spot.

You pulled away, wrapping your arms around their neck and kissing all over their face.

“i take back everything i said, muah, i’m sorry for being mad at you, muah, i love you so much, mwuah muah, thank you, mwuah~ (づ￣ ³￣)づ”

“so worth it~.. ⊂(￣▽￣)⊃” was all they managed to get out, their eyes practically swirling at all of your kisses.

With one last ‘mwuah!’, you ruffled their hair and went to checking the jars that made it back home.

“oh my goshh, you found citrine??”

“ooh, there's some amethyst here too!”

“wahh, selenite?!!? gosh, you're spoiling me, sloan! ~(˘▽˘)~”

You excitedly inspected the glasses, raising them above your head to look inside of the dark jars without removing their coverings.

Sloan stood there proudly, their hands on their hips and a cheesy grin on their face. They were so relieved that you weren't mad at them.

“i’m glad you like them!! :D, there's some more in my bag for you, ya know, the usual~ (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧”

“aawwhh, thank you baby! i’m so so so sorry i was even mad at you at all (*_ _)人” 

You buried your face into their chest, wrapping your arms around them again.

“nono, IM sorry i made you worry like that,” they kissed your forehead, “i really should've just asked you first and.. maaayybee do this without.. OH! THAT REMINDS ME, BABY LOOK!!”

They reached in their pocket with one hand, the other still holding you back by the waist, and pulled out one last jar.

“you totally aren't gonna be ready for THIS one!!”

Something about this made you feel uneasy in the moment, but you swallowed Niran’s words once more, trusting in your partner.

“BEHOLD, SLOAN’S SPECIALLY SUPER CHARGED JAR OF CELES..stine?”

They whipped out the glass of what was supposed to have the blue crystal in it, expecting it to be a glorious reveal… but, it was just strangely darker than the rest of the covered jars.

“huh, guess it's just.. a bit more shyer than the other rocks?” They tilted their head, letting go of you to gently knock at the jar. You watched with another jar in hand, ready to compare the two.

“heeelloooo? any celestine hoomee? hmph, i can definitely feel it in there though..” They held it to the ceiling and practically pressed their eyeball against the glass.

“it's like it's not in there.. but, it feels like it is?!” They swished around the jar, deciding to place it on the table with another ‘hmm..’

“maybe it's the cloth? let's just.. go ahead and pull that off then!”

“wait- sloan no it’ll toucH THE SUNLIGH-”

You tried to stop them, but their hands were already quick to remove the clothed lid and reveal the stone.

“wait shit no i’m so sorry i didn't me-”

“wooaahh..” You gasped and picked up the jar, mesmerized by the piece of celestine. 

It glimmered in such a way that you've never seen before, making you immediately forget about the actual water around it touching sunlight.

“it's.. it's beautiful, sloan..” You held it up to eye level, your eyes sparkling at the glittery gemstone before you.

“h-how’d you even.. find something like this? it's.. like it's glowing~..” It had you hypnotized, struggling to take your eyes off of it.

“i.. uhh.. surprise..??” They were also lost in the stone, the way it shimmered all sorts of colors and lights in the water seemed like magic. It wasn't this glamorous when they had found it.

“here sloan, look at it! did you.. really find this.. for me?”

You quickly shoved the jar into their hands, puppy eyeing at them for bringing you something so beautiful.

“o-of course, mi amor! it's my proudest find for you so far, so it's-” They froze, both of your eyes widening at the stone.

It felt like it all happened in slow motion, the way you both stopped to stare at what was happening in the glass.

The piece of celestine was… dissolving.

“wh- huh?? wait noo- this- this isn't good- w-why is it.. melting??!?”

The split second they had started holding it, the crystal dissipated. 

In a natural panic, they quickly placed it back on the counter, the water in the jar now being misty and clouded.

“hmm.. celestine isn't meant to rest in water but… it hasn't been that long since you put it in there, right?”

“l-like, only an hour or two, yeah?! b-but.. something feels weird..!” They started holding their own face in a panic, panting.

“it shouldn't have dissolved that quickly the- wait, are you okay?!? should I call someone??!”

“y/n.. i-i. i don't know! something'sdefinitelywrongandmystomachfeels-”

They suddenly covered their mouth, slowly looking at you with wide eyes.

“..’feels’? feels WHAT??, baby?!!? what's wrong??”

You joined in on their panic, bringing them close.

They tried holding a finger up, only to push you away and dash to a trash can, scurrying back to you with it in hand..

Then, they hovered over it.

“bleurg- ☁️💨”

“h-holy shit, sloan?? eurgh, sloan?!?!?”

As soon as they tried vomiting, the whole kitchen was smoked out in an instant, leaving you coughing and desperately swatting at the heavy air.

After about 10 seconds, the smoke started going away, revealing to you a trash can with.. no Sloan to be found.

“wh.. what..? even happened..?? where's-” You stopped yourself, something telling you to check the trash can.

Peering inside, you saw them.

Sloan was inside of the trash can, hand-sized, looking up at you. (・u・)

“o-oh.. my god.”

✯ if you've made it this far, tysm for reading again!

✯ im planning on proofreading and rewriting the other parts (again, and if im motivated enough), but how would yall feel about me posting little drabbles here and there?

✯ feel free to hit my line abt it, or anything in general, i dont bite ! >:)

✯ the link for part 4 will go here soon, and here are the borders used!

✯ enjoy your day/night! stay hydrated, love venture.. LOVE THE SILLY!! <3

[pancakeke]

another long work post lol

my parent company's female empowerment/women in tech initiative is doing a book club. the book is about being confident and challenging gender stereotypes to succeed in the workplace. tho the focus of this post is not about the book.

someone who was with my branch before we were acquired by the parent company was a part of this book club. she's still a part of our branch but she works mainly with the parent company.

in our first club meeting, this coworker brought up that her biggest takeaway was how staying at one company for a long time makes it hard to escape preconceived notions that people have of you. now that she works more with our parent company she's been able to get a fresh start and feel less held back by people's dated perceptions her.

the whole time she spoke I was just staring dead eyed at this call like girl... two months ago I met with HR to start a hostile workplace environment case because specifically you and three other people have been harassing and retaliating against me (and everyone around me) with zero accountability. this is not new, ive been trying to get your managers to reel in your inappropriate behavior for a LONG time. and I never used old examples, there's always soemthing new.

this has been going on since the day I met her. it's been 8 years. what "preconceived notions" is she talking about when she treats me like shit over nothing every time we interact. I have an open email chain with her where I've been trying to get incredibly simple info from her but she refuses to tell me anything for some unknown reason that she also wont explain. I've followed up 4 times and now she won't even reply anymore.

I have a similar email chain with her about a process she was supposed to implement 10 months ago but never did, so I have to continuously clean up everything behind her. she also won't explain why she didn't/isn't implementing it. though she did try to lie and claim that no one ever told her anything about this plan (she was on all the meetings and emails chains about it so?) am I taking crazy pills?

i think we need a female empowerment in the workplace book that has a side bar for women who think the reason they dont get what they want is because they're meek and get treated like doormats. but in reality they're overtly aggressive nightmares whose lies, vengefulness, and total disregard for processes make the jobs of everyone around them nightmares.

like, these types of women don't need confidence to do as they please so they can stand up for themselves. they need confidence so they can to act normal and stop behaving aggressively as a defense mechanism.

advice for those two things probably converge a good amount but I think it's important to specifically tell people like this lady that no, margaret thatcher did not have girl power. she was just a horrible cunt.

[matrixxsystem]

Terripin Soup Part 2

NotoriouslyPrimary420 [NP] Started A Chat With AuspiciousHunter1989 [AH] At 11:07 PM

NP: Hey I have a random question AH: Because you never have random questions any other time of course. NP: Oh haha- But seriously. My brothers keep asking questions about where I'm going and I don't want to lie about it but I mean I can't tell em I'm sneaking out to go eat morally grey soup and not hang out with a friend like I've been saying..

AH: So you want advice on what else you can lie about? NP: Well.. When you put it that way it sounds worse... AH: I don't know what to tell you man, find some rando on the street to hang out with :P NP: I feel like that'd make it worse? Oh! You live in NY too right? AH: Kinda. NP: Kinda? Okay well... You wanna hang out? AH: Can't. NP: Cant or wont? AH: Fine. Won't.

NP: Why not? C'mon dude I'm panicking here! I can't even go to my favorite pizza spot with my brothers cause I can't handle them cornering me about this-

AH: Hm.. What was that one called again? NP: Like Run Of The Mill Pizza or something, idk, why does that matter?

AH: I see what you meant now. Okay, I've changed my mind. I will meet you there tomorrow night, 8pm. And we'll talk about it alone, but don't push it.

NP: Oh thank god- Wait you.. Know that place?

AuspiciousHunter1989 [AH] is offline

Leo sighed to himself as he made his way home, he wasn't really sure what he was going to tell his family, or what was going to happen when he met his friend, or how he knew the pizza spot for yokai... How did he even know about it? Was he just a chill human or a yokai himself? It might explain a lot but.. There were  still so many questions on his mind that he wasn't able to answer and that frustrated him more then having the questions to start with. He hadn't gone very far having been preoccupied with his phone, looks like he'd have to wait a bit longer for his monthly fix. He'd try and wait at least till his brothers suspicion was cleared.  

Once he was home his brothers managed to corner him one last time before trying Donnie's plan, they hoped it wouldn't come to that. "Hey Leo!" Mikey called, alerting the others who sprung from their seats and covered the exits, they looked.. Friendly but also concerned. "H-Hey.. What is this an intervention? C'mon guys, I stopped defacing shells like five years ago-"

"Nope, its not about that, though I don't appreciate your phallic pictographs on my shell you know how hard it is to scrub off and-" "Not the time Dee, we just wanna.. Talk." "Raph please I'm just tired and wanna go to bed, I have this thing tomorrow so-" "Thing?" Raph asked, "Well as your older brother what's stopping me from grounding you? You've been going out a lot and not doing the responsible thing of letting us know anything! What would happen if you left and got hurt, if you couldn't get home or if you were attacked and outmatched? If you couldn't call us for help how would we ever know where to look for you? ...I'm.. I'm not just being nosey Leo, it's my job to look after you guys, my job to make sure you always get home safe. My responsibility to watch out for you. And I know you might not need it or whatever you wanna argue but I do. I need it, to know what's up so I can be there and to at least put my mind at ease-" Leo sighed a little, he always hated when Raph said things like that to him, making the weight over his chest double as he saw the honest compassion in his eyes. "Fine.. I... Look I can't tell you everything, not yet. But I'm gonna meet my friend tomorrow and we're gonna talk about all of us hanging out, he's- He's just really shy so it's not like I was trying to hide it, I just didn't want to scare him off. We can get pretty rowdy y'know? A-And I just.." Leo paused when Raph's hand gently set itself on his shoulder, "Okay okay, I'm not mad-" He pulled Leo into a hug, not staying for too long before pulling away, "I just wanna know what's going on sometimes okay? We're family, we care about you, and we're all really happy you met someone. We can't wait to meet him." Leo let out a little sigh, at least part of the anxiety dying down from his reassurance. "Thanks.. I'll... Try to talk more, and I'll let you know tomorrow night what the plan is. Promise." Raph smiled and gave him a pat on his shell, there was still a lingering anxiety that his brother wasn't being fully honest but he looked tired so he wasn't going to push it. Looks like it came to plan B after all. 

Once Leo headed off to his room Raph turned to Donnie giving him a little nod, the 'okay' to put the tracker on. "I know we shouldn't but you all saw that right.." "Leo doesn't lie to us.. He wouldn't... Right?" "Well technically speaking Mikey, he lied to Raph, we didn't ask him about anything. But no you're right Leo isn't one to lie about small stuff, usually when he does something stupid he owns up to it pretty easily. Its only when he starts avoiding the question and actively avoiding us that we should consider it a problem. I like Raph's plan on listening in first before confronting him again. And not just because it gives me a chance to use my new audio data recording device-" They all nodded in agreement before splitting up for the night. This was for the best right..?

Donnie was able to install the recording app though his computers since he was the designer of the tech they all wore. And with his other concealing app Leo wouldn't be aware it was recording or shouldn't be if it worked properly. And that night when Leo was ready to head out Donnie stopped him for a moment, it didn't happen often so Leo decided to listen. "Nardo hold on a sec, I wanted to ask, and you don't have to tell me. But are you and this 'friend' of yours.. More then friends?" "What?" "Now hear me out- No one cares if you have a boyfriend, I mean dad might be a little furious no one told him about it and he didn't do that stupid blessing thing he always talks about like they do in movies- My point is. If you've really been seeing this guy for a year now it just seems a little.. Weird that a casual relationship would go unmentioned since you love to talk" "Do.. Do all of you think I have a secret boyfriend?" "Well-" "Dee seriously.. We just talk when and hang out, and eat food. Nevermind, doesn't matter. I gotta go, I'll see you guys tonight." "You didn't answer my question Leo." "You're the smart one how bout you figure it out m'kay"

Leo opened a portal and vanished, leaving Donatello with a few more questions then he'd hoped he would have. He headed back to his lab where Mikey and Raph were already waiting, Raph having dragged in bean bag chairs for him and their little brother. Donnie sat in his chair and turned on his computer setting it all up with the improved tracker. In just a few minutes Leos icon was outside of their usual pizza spot. They all looked to each other, knowing he hadn't been there to see his friend before since they'd gone out some night's when he didn't come home. 

"Hey bone man! I'm here to see someone, I uh, how do I put this..." "Ah pepino, it's been a while. I was almost excited to have no repair bills this year. You're looking for the booth in the back. You're here for a date yes?" "Oh- Uh- Right. Okay, thanks. I mean, did he say it was a date? Cause I mean I- Are you sure its the right table?" "He said something about, meeting with a hyper mutant with three other brothers. I can think of no one else whos fits that description." He nodded a little, "Ah.. Kay, good too see you too then" There was the sound of shuffling as Leo made his way towards the booth, peeking his head around he saw the table already had someone sitting one one end, a white rabbit yokai who was staring down at the menu, his expression was impossible to read. "NP?" He asked, eyes not moving from the paper, Leo tensed up and nodded, "Uh- Y-Yeah uhm." "Just call me Usagi like you've known me for years, a long name wouldn't look good. Sit." Leo did as directed and sat across from him, "Right, I'm Leo. So.." Usagi glanced up to him, taking a quick moment to look at him, his expression softening a little seeing how nervous he looked. "Didn't expect another yokai hm?" Leo rubbed the back of his neck, this guy was kinda... Cute.. "Heh.. Yeah I was a little curious how you knew this place, sorry for dragging you into this. So.. What kinda cover story do you wanna have? They seem to think I have a secret boyfriend but I don't wanna ask that much of you-" Donnie saw the blue icon unmoving and turned to device on from his end, listening to whatever voices came though the speakers.

"No no, boyfriend is fine. I think in this situation that label would best suit us." Everyone looked to each other, jaws nearly hitting the floor. "G-Good! I.. I mean, they're all really excited to meet you. I know we can get a little crazy sometimes but they all mean well." There was a soft chuckle, "I don't think the kind of crazy you speak of could phase me, Leo. Since you know what I'm capable of." Donnie handed Mikey the five dollars he was owed for their bet of if Leo was really seeing someone. Hesitantly, Raph handed the youngest the same amount as well. 

"Right.. Wish I could be that calm about it." "I think after a while it gets easier, or maybe you just need some help? I know I probably shouldn't be so forward but.. My teacher will not be at the house tonight. If you are able you may join me." "Join you..?" "For desert." "You mean, you want to do that stuff? With me? I dunno. I mean half of me is like, screaming yes cause I want to but, this also feels kind of like the plot of some b list horror movie yknow? Hot guy invites you over late at night and says all the right stuff then boom you're in a basement for the rest of your life- N-Not that I think you would but.. Yknow." "So you think I'm hot~?" Leo's face went red, enough to match his markings, there was another chuckle. "You don't have to answer. Perhaps you can decide after I meet your family hm? There will always be another night where we can do those things together." "Mm.. Yeah, I guess you're right. Okay you've twisted my arm, you do this for me and I'll do that with you. Which brings me to another question." "Ask away" "Are you a good cook? Or like, you don't just eat it raw right? Cause I tried that before and got really sick-" "Leo, I may have a unique taste but even I'm not dumb enough to just eat it raw c'mon. I mean when you do your own hunting you have no idea where that meats been, you have to be very careful and clean it and cook it properly. I can show you in fact, if you ever plan to cook for yourself one day." "Why would I ever do that if I have a skilled cook like you as a boyfriend~" 

"Touché. Does tomorrow work then? Why not go some where in the hidden city? There's a beautiful garden not far from where I live that would be nice. We could pack lunch or something, something your brothers would like of course." "I haven't been in the city that much actually, they'd probably love it. I think we can arrange that. But enough about them, I have like a zillion more questions." "I as well. Tell me more about when you were younger." 

Donnie turned the device off there, mouths still hanging open. "I can't believe Mikey was right-" Dee said quietly, spinning around in his chair to face the other two. "And him and his boyfriend are doing stuff!!" Mikey yelled, "Do you think they've been... Kissing???"  Raph quickly collected himself, very glad Leo and his 'friend' hadn't said anything too risqué.. "Well he's what 15 now? He's allowed to have a boyfriend.."

The rest of the night they talked about their childhoods, not daring to mention their quirks out loud, but rather alluding to them. Trying to get as close as possible in the hour and a half they had before heading home to rest before meeting up tomorrow. It was interesting to hear both sides, how Leo had been suppressing his feelings for a long long time while Usagi on the other hand was encouraged to indulge in them by the one who raised him. He was taught to be merciless and survive by any means available. While had been turning all his frustrations inward hurting and isolating himself Usagi and been turning it outward letting those feelings guide his training. Both vastly different worlds they lived in. But it only made Leo more curious to see how the rabbit yokai handled his food. He ate their pizza normally, seeming more then content with its flavor, but for Leo there was something in the back of his mind saying it was missing something. Even his favorite food seemed to mock him for being different... Part 3 Part 1

TS Master Post

[clownhonkbonk]

talk about all of good omens s2!!! spoilers !!!

also, amazing job to everyone who worked on it !!!

you are going to be responsible for many therapy bills.

so uhm

that

that fucking ending

holy

i genuinely have no words

thats a lie i have so many words idk how to sort them out

like. okay, most of this is just me relaying what happened back to me cause frankly cant believe it.

( there's more talk than just the ending i promise -)

such, internalized ''homophobia'' ( i add quotation marks because they are not actually gay cause they're lil non binary guys but it is reflecting that ) and religious trauma .. that hurt so much when aziraphale just didn't know what to do, he put his hands on crowley briefly and then took them away, you could just tell what was happening and that hurt so much.

you could see how much crowley got affected by this

and then he expected aziraphale to see his side. to understand and then aziraphale would appologise, and they'd make up, and get an alcoholic breakfast at the ritz, just like they always did . but then he saw them walking out together. showing aziraphale choosing the " possiblity" of making something better of heaven, maybe stopping the destruction of earth completely. but crowley knows that it wont happen like that. crowley understands what heaven and hell are really like, but aziraphale is just so afraid of the thought.

crowley turned down hell for aziraphale and immediately thought aziraphale would do the same for him. they'd always been there for each other why could it have to stop then.

may you be forgiven is what aziraphale says when he does something that aziraphale thinks god would disagree on. or that heaven might disapprove. ( not of course including communicating with the enemy ) but then , a demon kissed him and he didn't pull away, he didnt try to stop it he froze. Let's make this clear, aziraphale very clearly loves crowley dearly, he is in love with crowley, but he still believes in heaven, and is stuck in his ideals of things of heaven is " the good guys " and hell is " the bad guys "

Crowley knows far better, he's known since he first got thrown out of heaven just for asking questions and throwing in some suggestions. he knows that neither one of heaven and hell are the good or bad guys. He sees the world in " a very dark shade of grey " while honestly being the nicest out of the angels and demons combined. ( tied with aziraphale i suppose:3 ) he knows that he loves aziraphale. he has for a very long time now. he knows aziraphale loves him back, at least he thought he did.

aziraphale touching his lips after in shame and doubt and confusion he doesn't know what to do. then he throws on a smile and , he goes back to heaven.

the fact that aziraphale said that he had nothing he needed to go to heaven with hurt. everything in that scene hurt but geez, he only wanted crowley, he only needs crowley, but he really fxcked that up huh. love you more than the stars aziraphale but GOSH DAMn you help one gay couple get together and then cant get with your demon boyfriend ??? ( once again they arent gay, i know - )

i bet crowley regrets letting him go on that walk, huh.

---

episode one talkies :D

also genuinely in love with the fact that crowley made the stars, with the tire iron thingy that he then uses to prepare himself to fight satan 6000 years later.

like what a guy.

also i love his hair he's a goof ball, honestly reminds me of david playing Phineas fog in around the world in 80 days, cause he's so excited by the new world and what it can do and what's out there to explore!! That's why hes so upset about the world ending at the start of it, he doesn't think the stars should go unappreciated, he doesn't think all the wonders of the sky should just be for staring at, he wants to watch it all happen.

and that also explains why crowley never asked aziraphale's name, because he already knew it :)

also aziraphale absolutely adoring crowley before there was anything means the world to me.

genuinely started crying when crowley protected aziraphale with his wing though.

--

zombie nxzi flesh eaters mini-sode talk:D

ok probably my favourite part of the season other than the ball.

the blitz had always been my favourite, and j really adored crowleys outfit, so gorgeous.

i loved that aziraphale trusted crowley completely in that moment

also was proud of myself immediately knowing that he switched the photo. ( i am small and was very satisfied )

also he 100% keeps that photo with him at all times. it's probably in his pocket.

i was honestly surprised that no sort of physical romantic thing happened that led to " you go to fast for me "

--

more of the last episode!!

i loved that maggie and nina didnt actually get together, it felt so much healthier for them to wait till they were ready. :)

also OFC LOVED GABRIEL AND BEELZEBUB!!! HONESTLY CANT BELIEVE THE FANDOM SAW THEM INTERACT ONCE AND SAID " THEYRE INLOVE " AND GOT IT SPOT ON!!

[forgetmynamepleasethanks]

OHOHOH I have a good idea for a request :> possibly could I get either headcanons or a scenario, you can choose, of Kris with a reader who had a simular kind of incident to the one Mae Borowski had in NITW? (if you don't know what that is its p easy to search it up there's a whole wiki page for it) hope that made sense!!!!

This has been sitting in my asks for so many months along with a few other posts. I wont lie to you. I forgot my password. Fixed that issue though so here we are. I'm writing this little preamble thing December 10th 2022 so lets see how long it takes me to write this whole thing. Hope you enjoy.

-----

Wise parents in Hometown warn their kids to stay away from them.

Kids too little to even remember why they're supposed to be scared scurry off and kids old enough to remember keep their heads down and walk past them.

The outburst of the only other human in town and the disappearance of Dess Holiday has got to be one of the worst "coincidences" to grace Hometown newspapers ever.

For a while after the incident, you tried your best to recoup your losses. But no matter how hard you seemed to try, no one was interested in humoring your request to be friends anymore.

For 2 years this continued.

To the rest of Hometown you weren't a human, or a monster, but you were a monster. You were a perfect example of why they didn't let many humans live here. A psycho who brutalizes innocent monsters.

That's all you were to them.

You tried to get over it. Can't keep beating yourself up forever right? Time to move on to better things? Right? Your grades began to drop rapidly, bringing you from 3rd in the class to almost last place.

Despite everything, you kept going.

Kris did not understand you. They are one of the very few people who aren't scared of you. They feel for you, as a fellow outcast they get what it's like to just want to curl up in a ball and never leave your bed.

After everything that happened to them, all the yelling, being treated as an outcast, the weird looks, the loneliness, why wouldn't they want to just disappear?

You don't really talk to anyone, sometimes you'll ask them for a pencil but other than that it's effectively radio silence between you and the rest of Hometown.

You rarely smiled, you were rarely seen outside of school or your house, even seeing you at school became a more and more special encounter. You were almost like a secret boss in a video game or something.

You captured Kris' attention and never let go. Why couldn't they stop thinking about you?

"Well that's easy, you have a crush loser." Susie replied to them, throwing another rock into the lake.

Kris didn't believe a word of it.

A crush?

On you?

No way.

No wayyyyy.

Yes way?

I mean just because they thought your smile was so infectious that whenever you wave at them for a pencil they smile, or how even though they know what you did they can't get your face out of their head, or how no matter what you wear you look perfect doesn't mean they have a crush on you!

You probably wouldn't even like them back...

Only one way to find out right?

The sun was setting, signaling for all the other kids to leave the playground and start heading home. Except you. You decided to stay a little longer. Feet brushing through brown mulch below the swing you gently rocked yourself on, hands wrapped around your journal, you heard the sound of footsteps on grass. You glanced up, focusing on the approaching figure which had sat on the swing next to you.

Kris Dreemurr.

After several minutes of uncomfortable silence, Kris broke it.

"I don't think you're a bad person." Kris stated quietly looking to you for your reaction.

"Gee thanks." You said, a little confused with the whole interaction.

"Why don't you come to school anymore?" Kris asked you.

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" You teased, stretching your arms and yawning.

For you, this was just some chance interaction, but for Kris this was now or never.

"Because I miss you." Kris explained quietly.

You froze for a second. Kris missed you? Town crazy person? Wow.

You grinned that crooked grin that Kris couldn't get enough of, before replying.

"Well if you care so much I guess I can show up some more." You proclaimed through your smile.

"I'd like that." Kris said, so quietly you barely heard them.

You stood up from your swing and yawned again. "It's getting late, let me walk you home." You offered.

Kris only nodded before standing up and dusting their pants off. Before they could react you had grabbed their hand and were pulling them along.

Oh.

Oh.

So you did like them back. Would have

Wise parents in Hometown warn their kids to stay away from them.

Kids too little to even remember why they're supposed to be scared scurry off and kids old enough to remember keep their heads down and walk past them.

The outburst of the only other human in town and the disappearance of Dess Holiday has got to be one of the worst "coincidences" to grace Hometown newspapers ever.

For a while after the incident, you tried your best to recoup your losses. But no matter how hard you seemed to try, no one was interested in humoring your request to be friends anymore.

For 2 years this continued.

To the rest of Hometown you weren't a human or a monster, but you were a monster. You were a perfect example of why they didn't let many humans live here. A psycho who brutalizes innocent monsters.

That's all you were to them.

You tried to get over it. Can't keep beating yourself up forever right? Time to move on to better things? Right? Your grades began to drop rapidly, bringing you from 3rd in the class to almost last place.

Despite everything, you kept going.

Kris did not understand you. They are one of the very few people who aren't scared of you. They feel for you, as a fellow outcast they get what it's like to just want to curl up in a ball and never leave your bed.

After everything that happened to them, all the yelling, being treated as an outcast, the weird looks, the loneliness, why wouldn't they want to just disappear?

You don't talk to anyone, sometimes you'll ask them for a pencil but other than that it's effectively radio silence between you and the rest of Hometown.

You rarely smiled, you were rarely seen outside of school or your house, and even seeing you at school became a more and more special encounter. You were almost like a secret boss in a video game or something.

You captured Kris' attention and never let go. Why couldn't they stop thinking about you?

"Well that's easy, you have a crush loser," Susie replied to them, throwing another rock into the lake.

Kris didn't believe a word of it.

A crush?

On you?

No way.

No wayyyyy.

Yes way?

I mean just because they thought your smile was so infectious that whenever you wave at them for a pencil they smile, or how even though they know what you did they can't get your face out of their head, or how no matter what you wear you look perfect doesn't mean they have a crush on you!

You probably wouldn't even like them back...

Only one way to find out right?

The sun was setting, signaling for all the other kids to leave the playground and start heading home. Except you. You decided to stay a little longer. Feet brushing through brown mulch below the swing you gently rocked yourself on, hands wrapped around your journal, you heard the sound of footsteps on grass. You glanced up, focusing on the approaching figure which had sat on the swing next to you.

Kris Dreemurr.

After several minutes of uncomfortable silence, Kris broke it.

"I don't think you're a bad person," Kris stated quietly looking to you for your reaction.

"Gee thanks." You said, a little confused with the whole interaction.

"Why don't you come to school anymore?" Kris asked you.

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" You teased, stretching your arms and yawning.

For you, this was just some chance interaction, but for Kris, this was now or never.

"Because I miss you," Kris explained quietly.

You froze for a second. Did Kris miss you? Town crazy person? Wow.

You grinned that crooked grin that Kris couldn't get enough of, before replying.

"Well if you care so much I guess I can show up some more." You proclaimed through your smile.

"I'd like that," Kris said, so quietly you barely heard them.

You stood up from your swing and yawned again. "It's getting late, let me walk you home." You offered.

Kris only nodded before standing up and dusting their pants off. Before they could react you had grabbed their hand and were pulling them along.

Oh.

Oh.

So you did like them back. Would have been nice to know that earlier.

-----

I wrote this March 12, 2023. I wrote it all in one day and I'm not super proud of it but you know how it is. Hope you enjoy it. I'm going to try and be more active again.

[and-then-the-trash]

i think one of the things i liked about Everything's Gonna Be Okay was that it didn't make Matilda's or any of the other characters' autism into something for them to overcome as a plot point. lemme explain..

i was thinking about this just now when i was scrolling through AppleTV's "Access for All" collection, which is essentially an attempt to promote disability advocacy and inclusion by showing off movies and TV show episodes with disability representation. the existence of the collection is cool and all, and I'm sure plenty of the things in it have the potential to be good (though I've not seen most of them). but what got me thinking was the "Activists & Game Changers" section of the collection, which looked to mainly be the types of movies and documentaries that turn disability into something "inspiring" that someone "overcame" in order to do some extraordinary thing. and this is not to say that these people don't deserve credit for the challenges and perseverance of these feats, but it got me thinking about how that's not always the disability rep that i want.

cuz im sitting here knocked out by some sort of shitty cold that i got from the rest of my family, which for me means that my hips and back ache a little more than normal, I'm even more fatigued than usual, and i can't breathe too deeply without going into a coughing fit. the fact that it's mainly a respiratory illness sucks for me bc i already have asthma so this has a fair chance of being worse for me than it was for the rest of my family.

basically, i feel like shit, and sometimes i want disability rep where characters feel like shit. where characters have bad days where they have to recline or lie down for a lot of it bc of being in pain. where characters aren't overcoming their disability, but accommodating for it.

and this somehow made me think about Everything's Gonna Be Okay, and specifically S1E10 Discoid Cockroaches (spoiler warning for the episode). this is the episode where Matilda's teacher tells Nicholas that it isn't feasible for Matilda to attend Juliard, which is her dream school. Matilda isn't at a point where she can live and navigate alone in a place like New York City. upset and insulted by this, Nicholas takes the family on a trip to NYC in an attempt to prove the teacher wrong and prepare Matilda to live in the city, but by the end of the episode it is clear that, though she has now successfully ridden the subway alone, Matilda just isn't ready to face the daily challenges that city life would present her with.

the episode is sort of heartbreaking, especially with how much build-up there was for Matilda auditioning and getting into Juliard in the first place. not being able to attend is understandably devastating for Matilda. but that's why i like the episode so much.

Matilda doesn't "overcome" her autism. she doesn't prove that ableist, doubtful people were wrong about her (not that the teacher was ableis. she was a good character who had worked with Matilda and her peers for a while and knew them well. she was a professional trying to prepare Nicholas and Matilda and give them appropriate expectations). she DOES succeed in riding the subway and navigating the city alone, but her and her family come to the reasonable conclusion that that alone isn't enough. she grows, yes, but the fact is that her autism does and will limit her. so they accommodate. they change plans, and accept reality for what it is.

because disability isn't always about changing your circumstances or proving people wrong. sometimes it's about being tired, or being in pain, or being otherwise inhibited in life. sometimes it's about learning to cope with a situation that can't be changed, or at least wont be changed soon. i don't want to see "inspiring" disabled people "overcoming the odds" as my representation, i just want to see disabled people being disabled, and the good and bad that comes with it.

so yeah, Everything's Gonna Be Okay is good rep because it isn't afraid to say "no, this disabled character can't Do The Thing, and that's a-okay". cuz yeah, some of us will be able to Do The Thing, but those of us that can't deserve the same kind of representation as anyone else.

[fox-daddy]

The Lazaret part 2 (mc story)

Part 1; here.

It had been Kyle's first week on the Lazaret and not much had changed yet. Kyle hadn't gotten any letters from Julian or Asra and while Julian didn't surprise him with the amount of work the Dr. piled on himself. There was something weird about having heard nothing back from Asra, even after their argument two weeks felt intense, then again he couldn't really talk having been unable to send a single letter. Each time he thought maybe it would be good enough he found himself shoving it into the chest he had for his belongings. It had slowly gone from him trying to spend an hour everyday trying to find out how to write it to slowly every moment of his free time whenever not tending to people's needs, eating and sleeping. A part of him said it would be easier if Asra had written something since replying was easier than trying to figure out exactly how to explain everything. The more he thought about it the less he knew what to say nor how to say it.

Yet writing to Julian was almost too easy. Just mentioning how his chores were mainly setting up beds, making sure they eat and drank, helping the Dr.s trying out different medicine. Truth was their was one more job, one that made the job go from gloomy to a new level of darkness, the furnaces. He had been lucky to avoid being put on them often but even only being on that job once or twice having people on the table only to be turned to ash by the fire. He hadn't been sure what was worse, being the one to push them in and close the door or being the one that had to move the ash afterwards knowing the gray easily broken apart powder was all that remained, that and charred bones. Feeling a shiver run up his spine he tried to shake it from his memory as he looked at the rough letter he had in his hands. Deciding not to mention that job he had focused on highlighting his job and everything that had been going on. Only when he was sure he had everything did he scroll it up to start work on a letter to Asra. And sat there staring at it, even as the sun set. With nothing but a chill creeping in he headed inside. Putting everything away he almost collapsed into the bed before quickly falling asleep.

When he woke up he felt tired as he stretched. Having a bad feeling he headed over to a nearby reflection. Red sclera, he knew he would have to work fast. Having rolled up the scrolls before hand it wasn't too hard ro roughly move them into a smaller container. Only taking the scrolls and his cape, it might ha e fireproof protections but he didnt want to risk it. With it in a smaller container he put on his plague dr. Mask. Taking a deep breath he made sure he had the key to the shop and some valuables he had but no use for. Picking up the chest he headed to the shore to meet with the boat person doing the first trip and least busy.

"I need your help. I'm willing to pay you this bag full of coin, a couple of pears and other treasures all for the simple price of, taking this to the magic shop and putting it inside, locking the door after with the key inside. When you come back you can have all of this."

"What makes you think that's worth my time and how do I know you wont just refuse to pay?" The sharp tone caused Kyle to flinch slightly.

"If it's not worth taking a box to a shop and leaving it there that's up to you. As for me refusing to pay, I'm four foot tall you could probably throw me over the wall without trying. I just need this box delivered because it's for someone." He decided to half lie at the end. Technically the shop would probably go to Asra and this was now a part of the shop. Shaking the thought he tried to focus.

"Fine but you better be here or I'll find you"

"The island isn't that big, I'll just stay on the beach." Kyle reassured while walking over to the nearby beach. The ash stuck to his shoes as he waited. A part of him knew they could just ditch the box and yet there was no reason to regr- he had to tell Julian and Asra. He actually had to tell them. Heading inside but leaving the bag half buried just in case, he soon returned with quill, ink and paper. It was not ideal but he had to inform them. Yet he had no idea how to write it. Straight to the point? Humor? No humor? Taking a deep breath Kyle tried to calm himself.

'Hey, Julian.

As you know I have been working on the Lazaret, well you probably know where this is going, I have it. I have been unable to process the right words to tell Asra, could you please tell him for me?.

~ Kyle'

Taking a deep breath at the messy but legible writing. Scrolling it up he got up as he saw the person returning. "Here's the bag as I promised and I was wondering since your going to shore next if you could pass this along?" He handed over the bag and letter.

"Fine." With a satisfying nod he left. He knew they hated being told what to do but also knew today wasn't the day to argue. Taking off the plague dr. outfit with nothing else to do the adrenaline of it slowly started to fade away as he felt a lot worse. Heading to the patients he decided to find a good spot and settle down. As he let time blur around him. It was weird like a single minute had passed or an hour and he wouldn't know. He found his mind drifting from Julian to Asra to his older brother he had left behind when he had run away. Was he still alive? Did he miss him? Kyle knew he missed him and the forest. Closing his eyes he tried to imagine the bird calls the bright sun, the hot yet heavily moist air, the sound of the water, just everything he could to try and let time past faster. From being tackled off the tree into the ocean by Tui, to Albatross picking him up from behind and play fighting with him. Trying to shake the thoughts away it only moved onto his time on the pirate ship, helping someone design a tarot deck in return for them fixing his cape up, he didn't even know tarot back then and yet the description's she had given him had helped him draw what she wanted. Closing his eyes he could still imagine the night they had spent cuddled up together in the crows nest before he had woken up alone. Making it to the shop and meeting his aunt and learning magic properly, the masquerade. Between his daydreaming, coughing and feeling awful the day slowly passed on.

Before he knew it he was being gently pulled onto a bed, and he made no effort to fight as he laid down. His hands barely recognizable with the plagues red veins that ran up his arm like spider webs leaving his hands red. It wasn't as bad as some patients he had seen and had the feeling if left alone he could survive a few more days maybe even a week. Yet he also knew their was no point arguing, today, tomorrow, next week his future was the fire. The only way his story would end is in fire, he had been told years ago he had a complicated relationship with fire, it had burned his house down and his sister had used it to scare him away, it had always had a way to find him and here he was facing fire again. He didn't even need to pretend to be fully focused to know where he was going, where he knew he would end up. Yet when he found himself in the confirmed dark space it fully set in this was where it was all going to end. And yet all he could think was 'I'm sorry'. 'I'm sorry I didn't leave when they wanted me to, I'm sorry I tried falling in love, I'm sorry I ran away, I'm sorry I couldn't say no, I'm sorry, I'm- I'm sorry' As he felt the heat of the fire bellow building he closed his eyes his throat dry and harsh. "-I'm sorry" he wasn't sure what part he was apologizing for, all of it? did it matter? With the heat building around him more and more he closed his eyes taking a deep breath-

He couldn't remeber anything else. Yet he could feel a soft pain all over his joints everwhere. But it wasn't pain, it didn't hurt, it was something else, a soft numbness. Lifting their head up they were in a forest. Yet, they couldn't get up. Their body felt hollow like it wasn't there like it was just their mind, was this the magic realm? why were they stuck then? trying to force themnselves to get up a thick mud clung to them dragging them down.

He had no idea how long it had been, their was no way to tell time. It was always sunny, it was always hot and it was only getting hotter. It was like when he thought it couldn't get worse the sun would shine even stronger as if to prove them wrong. It was always trying to prove him wrong. No, matter how hot it got the mud never dried up. He had hopped maybe the sun would dry it up and yet he only sunk deeper each time he thought maybe it was close to drying up. He had gone form his legs being stuck to only his arms above being out of the mud. Even then he could feel it dragging at his clothes, it wanted him to finish sinking. It wasn't just the mud, as he sunk the forest itself seemed to glitch like it couldn't keep itself alive, the trees started to bleed together into oen solid wooden wall, the sky turned from leaves to a blochy mess of greens and blues. It was falling apart within itself, breaking itself down slowly. Their was something inside him telling him to just give up to close his eyes and let himself sink into the mud, When those thoughts got loud he would struggle, no. He couldn't give up. He had no idea where he was but he wasn't goning to give up.

As he found himself struggling something changed. It was hard to know what but he could sense something nearby. Looking over he tesned, a large creature stood nearby, it's beak opened and closed as it seemed to suddenly rush towards him. Unable to predirct what it wanted he tried to cover his face as it stopped above him looking down at him with it's head tilted. While he couldn't hear it he could swear he could almost sense waht it wanted. It wanted to save him, a trade, a deal. He knew better than making deal's with demons and yet this didn't feel like a demon, but trying to think where his mind fogged over, where was he from? where were they from? The creature held out a large paw with feathers ruffled down it's arm. 'Let me live inside you and I'll give you my body and magic. You will lose waht memories you remember still, but you can gain them back again as you grow.' His memories and lettign this thing live inside him for a new body, new magic. A sharp numbness ran up what little of his spine he could still feel as he reached out grabbing the paw, a chance to be reborn and all he had to do was let this thing live inside him. Suddenly everything blurred together as he felt them suddenly tug them out of the mud, standing on their hind paws as they fell backwards, out of where they were. As they rolled he felt himself melting into them.

The next thing he felt was diorantaited, everything hurt and his hands didn't look right, his hands moved on their own ripping out the few feathers that stuck out of his arms. Sharp pain raidating as the feathers seemed to melt into a black liquid that vanished into them as he laid down unable to stay up, unable to stay awake. Unsure where he was, what he was, who he was, everything melted and blurred together as he closed his eyes. Would he even remember this, he wondered as he let the soft darkness consume him once more.

[l0n3lysworld]

Based off of this quote, a sad ass YouTube playlist and my depression :) .If this makes it out of the drafts lmao I hope you enjoy. Please don't steal, translate, or put this anywhere thanks.

"But first! A toast, to Emily. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! Tell me, my dear, can a heart still break once it's stopped beating? Hm?" -Corpse Bride.(Barkis Bittern)

It happened again yesterday. I swore I'd never do this, i swore I'd never let myself do this. I was stupid enough to tell myself that i wont do the same shit and here I am. Hanging on by a thread, slowly seeing the fibre snap, one by one. Feeling the panic in your chest take over, almost like your ribcage is going to burst. The burning tears, endless soggy jumper sleeves and discarded tissues never seem to be enough. After a while even the softest feather will feel like sand paper and so you let them fall. Drop after drop the salty tears will nestle themselves in the nook and cranny.

After a while the feeling dulls ever so slightly and the shard in my gut wont feel quite so jarring. Seeing him happy, seeing him live his life like nothing happened. Hearing the deafening silence of someone who just didn't care enough to fight or explain.

It makes me feel crazy, delusional even. Am I crazy? The feeling of emptiness has never made me feel so shitty. The feeling of running on empty is a solitude that is indescribable but this? This isn't solitude this is like an invisible hand pulling you under the surface of ice cold water. No matter how hard you fight and kick you eventually get tired. One choice will be made, you'll give up and allow the hand to pull you under or you ask for a life vest and you'll find someone to help you out.

To see the person they leave you for is hard. It becomes an obsession, a game of spot the difference. You'll compare yourself in every way, your hair, eyes, nose, mouth, smile, teeth, body. That'll be all you can think about what do they have that I don't. Are they smarter than me? Are they funnier? Is it because they're not me?

It has an order see, everything has an order when you do it for long enough or at least if you pay attention. First it'll feel like a stab to the gut, it'll hurt and you'll feel confused. Then you'll be angry, either at yourself  or the other person (normally in that order). Followed by a facade of happiness to the people around you, they'll think you're ok and that you're better. And lastly the pain numbs and you'll find the strength to continue either through spite or motivation from the people around you. Or at least that’s my order I'm just generalizing here. We don't all feel the same thing.

If you move on you'll look back and tell yourself i wont do that, never again. For a while it works, you'll remember the pain like it was yesterday and the coldness will wash over you once more. You'll replay it in your head a warning to yourself. See this is what happens when you get too close. If you play with fire don't be surprised when you get burnt.

Eventually it'll happen again. You'll get too close to another and the cycle repeats. Pain, confusion, anger, a lie, contentment, Repeat.