#and i wont get pressured to get shoes i dont like just because my dad likes them

[flareboi]

i cant wait until im an adult

[rookiesbookies]

mischievous COD ideas😈

Heavily pregnant reader knowing that her hubby doesn’t want to be rough in the slightest with her due to her pregnancy and refrains from punishing her, so she abuses that fully to be a brat

To my sweet sweet brat reader, Im sorry if this is not all you hoped as I am a resident good girl. The one time I was a brat I got degraded (“such a good bitch”) and cried. I hope I do a good job portraying the relationships, if I dont let me know and I will edit it or rewrite sections that dont fit. You also didn’t specify so imma write for my usual set of lovelies. (Im also added Krueger because I’ve recently fallen in love with him a lil bit and he kinda fits thi)

The boys with pregnant brat wife

Price

This man is too worried about helping you get your shoes on. “You’re pregnant, isn’t not being able to see your feet punishment enough?” He’s not going to do much other than pinching you. Whether it’s your ass or your arm, and they’re hard “i had to discipline Soap subtly and im a dad” pinches. He’ll also use pressure points. Give the back of your arm the good pinch and twist. He’s just trying not to take it personally.

Soap

He’s googled what positions he can put you in. He’s googled if its safe for the baby. He has googled what he can and cannot do. He has spoke with your doctors about it, as embarrassing as that phone call was. And for certain punishments, its a long game. Like holding your ice cream you crave hostage until you learn. If he can’t make it sexual, he’ll find other ways.

Ghost

Like Price, he’s also using pressure points. Not the ones that knock you out but the ones that feel weird or make you got “ow”. Cannot get hard and it’s not because you’re not hot its bc he literally gets more flaccid than a limp noodle at the thought of possibly hurting that baby. He’s also very good at holding grudges and every time you brat out and walk all over him, he’s making a note on his phone for later.

Konig

Oh but he just got you to whine and cry you admit you want his cock. He knew eventually he could wait out your little game. “You acted out and now you must wait until I want to give it to you. You ask so nicely though, keep trying. I like when you beg.” He’s so mean, he’d make you wait until after you gave birth and however many times you acted out is how many weeks (or months depending on how he’s feeling) after you have to wait to get any pleasure from him.

Keegan

your toys aren’t doing it for you anymore? Nope. He’ll keep fluttering his fingers over you figure and let you use that tiny dildo he got you that cant even stretch you like he can. That’s all you get. His hands wont even go lower than your waist. They wont even touch close to your nipples. This is real torture. Every orgasm is so unfulfilling. I feel bad for you really. Hope this teaches you.

Gaz

He’s a doormat anyway. I don’t see him punishing anyone. He’s too much of a gentleman. I do believe he’d pull orgasm after orgasm out of you casually when you act up with his hands. Never giving you his dick as much as you beg. Pleading, crying for it, he wont budge. No you can deal with the consequences of your actions while he sits here and watches this movie. “Why aren’t you watching, love? You picked the movie. No, no, stop your whining, just sit and watch.”

Krueger

Sebastian doesn’t care. He’ll find other ways. Like right now you’re legs spread and hands flat against the wall as he spanks your ass, every time he does you have to say thank you and apologize for snapping at him. He knows you’re hormonal, but he’s going to make you apologize. Oh and he’s kissing away those tears and asking you if you understand what you do wrong while running you a nice bath and all the rubs and lotion for your poor butt.

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

[littlegiantposts]

pilot

kageyama x f!reader

may contain spoilers!

EDIT: HIIII SO UH THERES A “pilot ~revised~” ON MY PAGE SO I RECCOMENTD READING THAT ONE CUZ IT HAS MORE CONTENT 👍🏽

Here’s the link:

description: In which Y/n is a new addition to Karasuno’s Girl’s Volleyball Club 

THIS IS REALLY JUST LIKE...A TEST RUN..FOR THIS STORY CUZ I DONT THINK IM THAT GREAT AT WRITING and i feel like people wont really like it. so....yeah.

a/n: ok so, I’ve been thinking of this concept so much lately. It started off as just as a nice story to play in my head, but I really wanted to see if I could write it down. So, I felt like I haven’t really seen a lot of imagines or content on the girl’s volleyball club and I felt like it would be cool to explore that side. First things first, I am raised in California. Thus, I am quite incompetent in knowledge about Japan schooling. All my knowledge is really from me googling stuff and ofc, watching haikyuu. With that said, if I made a mistake on the take of Japan schooling, I do not mean to cause any offense. This is solely for entertainment purposes. With that said, I do not own the characters of haikyuu. However, there are some characters I made up with my own imagination. In addition, this is an “x reader” sort of story but I will be defining some of her characteristics so I am sorry if it hinders you from imagining its you. Finally, I am not that good at writing stories lol but im trying. I hope you enjoy.

I hate introductions. Y/n thought to herself as she sat back down in her seat after standing in front of the class, stating her name and her previous school. Her gaze shifted towards the window. The sun was out and shining and she had the perfect view of the gymnasium. Oh how she just wanted to get up from her uncomfy chair and leave the boring lecture and head towards the gym. 

It was the first day of school for Y/n at Karasuno High. It’s not like she started in the middle of the semester, no, she was just about a month late into the school year. With her work ethic, she didn’t feel any pressure in order to catch up with everyone else. She knew she would get it done.

It’s not really her fault she came a bit late into the school year either. Her dad’s job required a small move, not that she was complaining. She didn’t really feel tied down at her old high school because: she wasn’t there for that long and she didn’t really make any friends, despite joining a sport. 

It’s not that she didn’t want to make friends. It seems that her track record, or the lack thereof, from junior high with meeting new people has left an imprint on her.

Y/n looks down at the worksheet that was passed out in the beginning of class. The assignment was already completed due to Y/n’s eagerness to finish any homework that would take away time from her main passion.

Some people would say she was obsessed. Some would say dedicated. She simply sees volleyball as an opportunity. The class bell rings, signaling for lunch. Before she realizes it, she is walking towards the gym, in which she would meet the girl’s volleyball captain. As she is switching shoes, she can hear screaming from inside. 

“-What did I tell you about touching my onigiri! You are going to pay for that!” “I really didn’t mean it this time, I promise! I didn’t know it was yours!” The voices were muffled, yet she was still able to hear the sincerity in both of the voices. Y/n was about to open the gymnasium’s door when the door swung open by a tall pink-haired girl. She was being chased by another tall girl with long blonde hair, but she was a bit shorter than the pink one. Before Y/n could process stepping aside because it seemed the pink-haired girl had no inclination in stopping, she was tumbled to the ground by the girl who she can only guess took an onigiri without permission. As well, the blonde clumsily tripped and fell on top of the two.

“You idiots! Will you stop it! We already told you, we got a guest coming today and we want to make a good first impression!” A stern voice called out inside the gym.

“Um, Moa-san, I think our wishes are already soiled.” Another voice chimed in from the gym.

“Wha- You dumbasses! Hey, are you okay?” A girl with dirty blonde hair came out from the entrance and offered a hand towards Y/n as the two perpetrators started to get up with apologies towards Y/n. 

“Yeah, I am good.” Despite just being tackled to the ground, Y/n remains as neutral as ever. 

“Aren’t you going to ask if we are okay?” The energetic, pink haired spoke.

“As if I care when you collide into our guest! You really need to be more cautious, Etsuko!” She barked. “I am Aihara Moa. Pleasure to meet you. You’re the first year that turned that application past the deadline, right?” she states more calmly than her previous statement. 

“Pleasure is all mine. And, yes. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Y/n states with quite the unfazed face. 

Does this kid crack a smile once in a while? Moa asked in her mind. She seems quite different than the other first years we have. Her thoughts continue.

“I am Oba Yuma and this is Morita Etsuko.” Yuma, who had the pretty, long blonde hair, spoke with a warm smile.

“Why did you introduce me?! I wanted to have a cool introduction!” Etsuko huffed with a small pout. 

“Well, it’s not like you can recover your so-called ‘cool introduction’ from that full-body collision.” Yuma smoothly replied. Etsuko’s eyes widened and cheeks heated up as she couldn’t come up with a sly comeback to her logic. 

“You guys are just lucky that Rinko isn’t here to scold you.” Moa warned the 2 first years. With the mention of the scary third year that wasn’t even the captain, yet she reigned supreme in the disciplinary department, they shivered at the thought of the punishment. 

As Y/n stepped further into the big, bright court, she spotted that she could only assume was the captain as she looked so appalled at what happened. 

“Hello, you must be Michimiya Yui.” Y/n knew she had to say something to pull the worried captain from her thoughts. 

“Hi! Yes, that’s me! I am so sorry for those two. I would say they aren’t always like that, but I don’t want to lie to a potential teammate.” Yui spoke with an uneasy smile.

Yuma and Etsuko’s interests peaked when they heard “a potential teammate” come out of their captains' mouths. They were the only first years on the team, so the thought of another person in the same boat as them made them excited and wanted to join the conversation. The two first years gave each other a look and started to walk towards Yui and hopefully their new friend. However, before they could even be in ear-shot, the pair got pulled away by Sasaki Chizuru, another third year.

“Oh, no. Don’t think you will be bombarding her with questions right off the bat.” She bluntly states.

“Oh, c’mon Sasaki, aren’t you curious about her? Like how did she get into volleyball? Or even, is she a beginner? Or maybe she is an absolute monster who dominates the court!” Etsuko proclaimed as her mind went too fast for her mouth to follow.

“As of right now, it’s not our business. All we can do, and are allowed to do”, emphasizing the word ‘allowed’, “is to watch from the sidelines and quietly eat our lunches.” Chizuru instructed the first years and pointed at the far corner of the gym. 

Despite her own words, Chizuru couldn’t help but glance at Y/n and wonder the same things that the first year questioned. At face value, Y/n was quite the enigma. The 2 first years gave a pout, but headed towards their desired location.

“So, you came from Niiyama Girls' High? That’s a really good school for volleyball. What made you come to Karasuno?” Yui asked.

“It was the most ideal school in terms of my dad’s work location.” Y/n states plainly. She didn’t technically lie. Well, it was an ideal school in terms to the proximity to her new apartment, but that was not the only reason. She saw videos of their interhigh-prelims last year and to be quite frank, Y/n was not entirely impressed with the state of their team. However, she knew that this meant there was room to grow for them. She knew very well that she could have gone to Shiratorizawa and joined their girls’ volleyball club. Objectively, with her skill set, Shiratorizawa made sense. Nonetheless, Y/n didn’t know what compelled her to pick this one. She convinced herself it was because she is a sucker for rooting the underdog. 

Does this kid show any emotion? Yui thought in her mind. It’s like nothing affects her. Her thoughts continued.

“How long have you been playing volleyball?” Yui curiously asked.

“Since the 2nd grade.” Y/n quickly states. As much as she wasn’t showing it, she was just itching to show what she can do. The court was right there in front of her, after all.

“That’s impressive, alright, well if you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to see some serves and sets from you. After school, we can hold a three on three since we all aren’t really in the right clothes to play.” 

“Sounds good.” To say Y/n was excited would be an understatement. As she removed her cream sweater, she could feel a set of eyes burning a hole on her back. She turned around to put her sweater down and realized that she was wrong. It wasn’t one pair of eyes, it was all of them, curious to see how good she really is. She could feel her heart pounding at the thought of holding everyone’s attention. She knew if she let her mind continue, the nerves would get to her and hinder her performance. She took deep breaths and started to quietly humm a song that was previously playing on her phone from her morning ride to school. 

Yui passed a volleyball to her and ran to the other side of the net, and yelled, “Let’s see what ya got!”

Y/n carried herself behind the serve line, taking one deep breath to keep her hands from shaking. With that exhale, she opened her eyes and focused her sights on Yui. The captain wouldn’t admit it, but she could already feel herself sweating under the first year’s gaze.  

She looks so intimidating. I’m not even on the court, yet I’m scared. Yuma viewed Y/n’s determined look. For Y/n, it was as if everything crumbled away and the only thing remained was the court. She starts her run up.

A jump serve?! Yuma, Etsuko, and Chizuru incredulously thought simultaneously with eyes basically bugging out of their head. They watch in amazement as she jumps with severe height and reeled her arm back. After that, all that could be sensed was a loud snap and then the ball smacked the ground next to the wide-eyed captain. The impact from the ball gave a small breeze through Yui’s short hair. The deafening silence that followed her serve filled the room in an instant. Those watching from the sidelines had to pick up their jaws from the floor.

“She’s a first year?! Are you sure?!” Etsuko broke the silence with her curiosity getting the best of her. 

“Boke Etsuko! That was already clarified, don’t make her repeat herself!” Yuma scolded. While Yui read your capabilities on your application form, it was nothing like actually being on the receiving end in real time. 

“That’s quite a serve she got in her arsenal.” A voice startled the three high school students, sitting on the sidelines. Etsuko and Yuma were the most startled, but Chizuru was quite used to her fellow classmates popping in every now and then.

“Seriously, Sudou. We have to put a bell on you or something because I don’t think my heart can take any of your surprise entrances.” Sudou Rinko only slyly chuckles at Etsuko remark. She looks over at Y/n and Yui on the court.

“Did you guys see the precision on that serve?” Rinko posed to the other three sitting on the ground, munching on their lunch.

“Well, not really, but it landed, like, near Michimiya, right?” Etsuko tries to come up with the answer that Rinko was looking for. 

“It landed right next to her left foot. I think that pipsqueak is able to aim her serve.”

“What?! That’s insane.”

“Yeah, insane, but not impossible.”

“With her, maybe we can win more games!”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Etsuko, a team is only good if everyone is giving their all.” Yuma reminds. “After all, there’s not only one person on the court, there’s six.”

“I heard she came from Niiyama Girls' High” Sudou stated as she reverted her gaze back to her fellow teammates. They stared at her after she gave more information on the stranger in their gym. 

“Why would she come to Karasuno then?” Yuma asked honestly. She knew that her team had strengths, but she also knew that other teams had strengths that overpowered them.

“How could you diss your own school like that?” Etsuko was almost angry at how her teammate was treating their school. She always was the one to take pride in everything she does. 

“No, that’s a valid question. It makes sense that a player with her caliber would be well-suited in a powerhouse school.” Rinko supported Yuma in her question. All four look ahead and see that Y/n is beginning to set for Yui.

“Her precision and accuracy are so on point, it almost makes me sick.” Yuma commented on how your form for setting only held the necessities. Y/n stepped with purpose, and it showed as she passed a nice set for Yui, allowing her to have optimal choices in where she can place her spike.

so um, that’s really all i got haha I started this like yesterday instead of doing hw so yeah. Feedback and constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. So, did u like it? Did u hate it? Are u confused by it? lol yeah okie bye 

[chimcharstar]

1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

22

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

9

7. Do you have any pets?

no

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

7?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

I

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

[psychotic-seth]

Depressed Yandere Kuroo Tetsurou - #2: Can’t Stand

After that day, (Y/n) (L/n) and Kuroo Tetsurou had became ... friends? Both had different image of the closeness between them are but one thing for sure is that both had became closer than before. 

They started messaging more frequently.

No longer are the messages restricted to information regarding the project, expanding out to talking about how their day are. Some days are more of Kuroo's day, others are of (L/n)'s.

Every fortnightly, (L/n) would receive texts from Kuroo while he broke down late into the night, searching for their comfort. During those long nights, (L/n) sympathise with Kuroo as much as they could. Staying up and texting back as long as Kuroo needed them to be while worry boils in the pits their stomach.

Most of the time, they could only sleep for an hour before they had to wake up to prepare for school. 

Kuroo and (L/n) did not have contact with each other, excluding a nod or smile in greeting, during school. If they had to stay back for project that day, (L/n) would express their concern for Kuroo when they meet. If they did not have to stay back, (L/n) would message Kuroo regarding his well-being.

Kuroo greatly appreciate what (L/n) had done for him. Although his sources of stress were not reduced, but he was able to release parts of them with the presence of (L/n).

He felt understood.

He felt that he wasn't alone any longer.

He felt loved. 

After the end of the project, Kuroo and (L/n) had kept in contact. Nothing changed from before the project to outsiders as they kept everything online and Kuroo began opening up more to (L/n).

Texts from Kuroo while he broke down became more frequent and irregular. 

It may seems stupid from an adult's point of view, (Y/n) (L/n) knew. However, being brought up by shows that revolved around the concept-'friendship is power' bull, (L/n) placed their friends high in their priority list. Every time they received a text, they would throw whatever they were doing aside and gave their whole attention to their lit phone.

Sleep, studies, health... all these were pushed aside for Kuroo. Because Kuroo is their friend. Is he...?

-----

Kuroo Tetsurou

Boo

[Ghost Emoji]

Wyd (What you doing)

Chillin

You?

Want to write something

But cant

Huh

Why thou?

Stressed

What happened? :(

...

-----

It was the start of his breakdown and (Y/n) stayed online, sympathising.

-----

Kuroo Tetsurou

...

Have you thought of going to the therapist?

I'm sure they will be able to help you more than I could

Im open to it

But does it needs money

I'm sure your parents would be willing to support

NO

They would just f***ing 'talk' to me 

They dont understand

Have you talked to them about your issues thou?

They wont understand

Try...?

They wont understand

Dont make me repeat myself

My dad smacked me before 

So hard that I fell to the ground

When I 'talked' to him

Omg...

It must have hurt

Does he still do that now?

Sometimes

Sht man

I'll try my best to help you

Thou  I can only listen... ;;

Its more than enough

Sorry to cut you off suddenly just now

About that...

Yeah...

I just...

feel useless

...

-----

Time flew by and both Kuroo and (Y/n) had changed due to the change in environment.

(Y/n) became irritable and were tired all the time. With the increasing stress from studies, teachers, parents and Kuroo, (Y/n) were not able to find anyone to talk to regarding their stress. Exams were around the corner and time with friends were lessening as each of them preferred to focus on their studies. School counselor were of no use, since ultimately the whole talk was, to put it simply, 'just focus on your studies'. Parents were a no-go for (Y/n) after a particular argument which they vividly remembered.

Kuroo, on the other hand, craved for the comfort of (Y/n) more often than before. However, he refused to meet up and breakdown in front of them again despite wishing to feel the warm hands of (Y/n). In front of them, he should be strong, so as to have a better chance of (Y/n) falling for him. 

However, despite his efforts to look strong in front of (Y/n), it wasn't working as he hoped. In fact, he found that (Y/n) were no longer starting conversations first nor inquiring for his state of well-being after a breakdown. The time taken for (Y/n) to reply to his first few messages became longer. It was instantaneous at the beginning before lengthening to a few minutes and a few hours in the present.

Unable to find immediate comfort, Kuroo felt alone once again until (Y/n) replied. It had worsen control of his stress. He started punching the wall of his bedroom to calm himself.

Why couldn't (Y/n) (L/n) be kinder? They had done it at the beginning. In fact, if you had known what Kuroo had conveyed to (Y/n) in the messages, issues regarding his studies, parents, friends etc, you would had pity Kuroo more than (Y/n).

Was it because Kuroo had not listen to (Y/n)? 

No, he did. He reached out to his friends about his problems, mainly Kenma, although significantly lesser than (Y/n).

He even went to therapist like (Y/n) suggested. Although it was after (Y/n) contacted the teachers and his parents despite him specifically mentioned to (Y/n) not to.

He was angry and betrayed when he found out after his teacher asked to talk to him, resulting in him not messaging (Y/n) for a few days.

After, he was pleasantly surprised that his parents brought him to the clinic without much questioning or talking to him on their part like he expected.

He ultimately understood that it was for his own good. 

He started messaging (Y/n) again, feeling grateful.

-----

Kuroo Tetsurou

Heyy

Ayee

About the therapist...

Oh?

You started going?

Hope your parents didn't make too much of a fuzz

Yea and no, they didn't

Suprisingly

So...

How was it?

Eh

Kinda useless

???

:O

Why?

What?

Wuhhhhh???

He don't understand :/

Elaborate...?

He just blamed everything on the relationship between me and my parents

Oh...

:/

Wyd?

In the therapist session

He's talking

ERM

EXCUSE ME

SIR

You're excused ;p

Listen to him man

[Thinking Face Emoji]

He might say something of help to you

Nah

He wont

Because he don't understand?

Yea

...

Did you talk to him about your point of view?

Whats the point

He wont understand

But still

Try?

For me?

Fine

Anyway

...

-----

Was it because they don't like Kuroo anymore?

No...

NO. That can't be it...

They promised to be there for him.

They said they would be happy to lend a listening ear whenever.

They did.

THEY DID.

...

...

No...

It can't be... right?

Maybe...

They got tired of Kuroo...

Kuroo felt more desperate as time pass by without a reply from (Y/n). At this point, his vision was almost permanently blurred from the wave of tears that weren't seeing the end soon. His throat were dry but he did not get up to get water. All he did since an hour ago was to sit on his bed, back to the wall and knees caged within his long, toned arms. He clenched his dark-screened phone in both his hands. Teeth biting one of his hands to prevent himself from screaming. Surely, a deep red bite mark was present in the flesh, it was a miracle his skin had not broke from the pressure he was applying on it. Maybe it was due to the multiple lanes of saliva that was running down his hand and phone currently. I wouldn't know, I ain't some science nerd.

*buzz*

Ripping his hands from his mouth with such force that his teeth had scrapped parts of his bitten hand, he unlocked the phone while aggressively wiped his tears away, smearing his saliva on his face in the process.

His happiness were crushed when he saw that the notification were only from the chatroom with his volleyball friends, asking about when the next match with other schools were on.

They weren't the one he waited for. Why did they come? Why is god not giving Kuroo the attention from the one he want?

Angered screams emitted from his dried throat, sounding much like a dying whale. His dominant hand freed itself from his phone and clenched itself before being slammed backwards into the wall behind him. 

Take a deep breath. Shhh. Shhh. 

Kuroo tried to get himself together.

Outside of Kuroo's door stood his mother. Her hand on the door knob, battling with herself which was the best course of action as more thuds were heard from the other side.

Tears from her worry overflowed as her heart broke along with the screams and thuds that sounded out.

Large, warm hands placed themselves on each of her arms, gently massaging the skin underneath their touch.

The thuds stopped and were soon replaced with repeated words that were clawed out from Kuroo's throat.

"(Y/n)... (Y/n)... You're here... (Y/n)"

Sighing, his mother gave in to the coaxing of her beloved as she let him guide her to the couch where she would calm herself before preparing a herbal tea to help her son's throat.

Worried, could no longer described how Kuroo's mother felt. She became paranoid. She knew that her son's condition is becoming worse but she no longer knew what was right. She had, in a way, baby-proofed their home. Any edges, such as tables, were covered in blue tacks. Glass and ceramic cups were stored in the bottom cabinet in the kitchen and were replaced by plastic cups. Knifes, the cutlery, were no longer used in their house. Meat? Momma would pre-cut them into bit sized pieces!

When her husband drove both her and Kuroo to the clinic, she would sometimes see Kuroo's hand clutching on the door handle, pulling it slightly. His eyes were... 'dazed'. 

In fear, she would press the button to lock all the car door. Sometimes, to her relief, no clicks were heard, meaning that the door handle were not pulled to the point of almost opening. While other times, a small click were heard from the back of the car, startling Kuroo. In return, Kuroo quickly removed his hand from the handle and stuffed both his hands into his pockets, now looking down to his shoes.

Kuroo's mother would try to make conversation with her son, asking about his day or how he was feeling. At times, she would talk about her day in hopes to get Kuroo to share his. Ultimately, all she got was a polite smile in the rear view mirror and a 'that sounds nice'. 

Kuroo refused to part with his phone during any part of his day, bringing it to the showers, counselling sessions etc. Constantly, he checked it despite having no notifications, unlocking and relocking his phone, typing something before erasing it completely. 

Dead into the night, when people slept, Kuroo had sleepless nights when he was too restless to sleep. On nights like this, he would message (Y/n) and he knew how (Y/n) would reply.

Go for a run?

And he would. He's an obedient boy.

He would take pictures of the areas he ran by as a way to prove that he was running despite (Y/n) never asked for any. 

At the end, he knew and came to expect to be praised by (Y/n). 

Kuroo would finally fall asleep. Not without sending a good night message to his angel.

Kuroo understood (Y/n). 

(Y/n) was just busy.

[reesewestonarchive]

chapter six / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

The van idles in the parking lot when Nakoa wakes. Rem’s nowhere to be found, until Nakoa peers out the window of the motel room and sees him setting their bags in the back, a cigarette stuck out of his lips.

Nakoa pulls from the window, stretches his arms above his head.

Waits for Rem to come back, and when he does, he takes one look at Nakoa and says, “You ready?”

“For /what/?” Nakoa’s ready to settle down. Get a job in some bullshit city that won’t ask his age. Rem can…

Well, maybe if he’s happy, he…

“Next leg of the trip.” He pulls the cigarette from his mouth, stubs it out on the bottom of his shoe. “You wanna get dressed?”

Right now, he wants another fucking nap.

“I’ll blow you,” Rem says, with a raise of an eyebrow, and Nakoa snorts. There’s no fucking way Rem wants to get out of here that quickly. “If we go.”

“Yeah fucking right,” Nakoa says.

But Rem steps forward and pulls Nakoa against him by the hem of his t-shirt. Tucking his fingers into the waistband of Nakoa’s pants, he says, “No. Hey.” He tugs at Nakoa’s collar, a smile tugging at his lips. Nakoa thinks about kissing him. He doesn’t. “I’m serious.”

Nakoa looks from Rem’s lips to the van outside. “Where are we going?”

“Oregon, maybe. Why not Canada? Or Mexico. Check out some of their beaches.” Rem grins. Draws Nakoa in for a kiss, and he tastes like coffee and creamer, sweet and smooth.

Like a different guy, but… fuck, Nakoa’s used to this. Rem gets freaked out by something, says a bunch of jackass shit, and Nakoa handles it poorly. It’s not like this thing between them’s easy. Nakoa doesn’t understand it himself, most of the time. Nakoa’s never wanted as much as he wants with Rem, and… that’s terrifying. To imagine the future and want someone by his side.

“What happened?” Nakoa asks, when his eyes are still closed and Rem pulls away, just slightly. “With the blood.”

Rem goes tight under Nakoa’s fingers. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Tough shit. You’re going to.” Nakoa pinches him, under the arm, and Rem yelps, scowls at him.

“Might have some prick on my tail. Don’t worry about it.”

Don’t worry about it. “You nearly beat the shit out of my dad when he hit me last year,” Nakoa says, trying to contain his frustration and failing, “but the second I want to make sure you’re okay—”

Rem pulls away. “It’s not the same. Come on, in the car. You can drive.” He flashes a smile, mischievous, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Rem.” Nakoa flattens his voice, steps backwards so Rem’s presence isn’t quite so intoxicating, so he can think through the fog in his head. “I’m serious.”

Rem sighs, runs a hand through his hair. “It’s fine. Can you calm down? I’m not some fucking damsel in distress. I can take care of myself—”

More than he had the other night, Nakoa wants to leave. Let Rem fend for himself, see where that gets him. But then, he imagines Rem lying on the side of the road, or in some dark alley next to a liquor store, and— “Why are you so afraid of this?” he asks, thinks about gesturing between the two of them, really nailing down what he’s talking about.

A dark look passes Rem’s face, before he says, “Because I don’t want you involved.” Nakoa expects him to leave—it looks like it. “You don’t need to get caught up in my bullshit anymore than I should be caught up in yours.” Nakoa wants to tell him that he likes to be, that he likes knowing Rem’s fine, that if he could help, he would. And now that it’s them against the world, two of them on the road alone, each other is all they have. But Rem doesn’t let him, says instead, “We have fun together, right?”

And any hope burns to ash in Nakoa’s chest. He tastes it on his tongue when he says, “Yeah. Fun.”

Bowie plays on the stereo in the car, and Nakoa hears it from miles away. He thinks of what Rem said in the motel room; fun. That’s what it started as; is that all it will ever become for Rem?

Desire breeds warm and heavy in Nakoa’s stomach, sated temporarily by sex, but more often Nakoa just… wants. A longing feeling when he sees Rem singing along to the radio, when Rem moans—a different one when Nakoa touches him than the one he makes when eating pancakes, but neither less arousing than the other.

The goofy grin when he teases Nakoa.

He wants. Maybe the two of them will never own property, will spend their lives on the run from Nakoa’s shithead of a father, from the people Rem hustles for money to survive, but that’s a better end than wasting away in Withervale.

Nakoa should tell him. He should find a way to say the words without scaring Rem off, to say without expectation what he wants.

But then, he wants Rem. Is it not better to have what pieces of himself Rem will offer?

-

“What are you doing?”

Rem’s voice is scratchy with sleep. His eyes bloodshot from a twelve hour drive, and Nakoa’s knuckles hurt from where he has been pressing against play, pause, record for two hours, listening to the radio.

Fuck. Nakoa rips off his headphones, says, “Nothing. Why?”

Rem raises an eyebrow, says, “Come on. Come to bed.”

Bed tonight is the mattress in the back of the van. Nakoa’s money sits safely in the locked glovebox, but it’s dwindling. They’re close to Oregon, now, Disney just a pipe dream, but Rem keeps pulling off to look at the wildlife. To stop in gift shops. To tug Nakoa around randomly in tourist traps.

Nakoa might revel the attention, if he thought it would lead anywhere.

In Rem’s hand hangs a bottle of whiskey, capped, but when Rem leans down to press a kiss to Nakoa’s lips, he tastes sober. Like toothpaste.

Nakoa chases Rem’s mouth with his own when he pulls away. Rem smirks. His gaze lingers on the tape recorder. “This for me?”

“Fuck off,” Nakoa says. He’d picked up the tape recorder in a pawn shop for a few bucks, one night, and a pack of blank tapes, too. He’s tossed out one shitty mixtape once already, to throw Rem off his tail, to keep him from immediately suspecting. Kind of counterintuitive—the whole point of the mixtape is so Nakoa doesn’t have to say anything—but it calms the anxiety some. That tape had a bunch of Madonna and Bon Jovi, interspersed with just enough of what Rem likes to keep him from telling Nakoa to fuck off and replace the mix with something else.

But it’s hell, finding songs for him. It’s a fucking nightmare. Nakoa has two, right now; a Queen song and a Bowie song, and it feels like the damn thing is never going to be completed. There are a million songs out there, but they’re too cheesy. Too fast, too slow, too cheap, too cliche. Whatever Nakoa’s looking for, he hasn’t found it yet.

Rem’s hand is cold in Nakoa’s, though. There’s a chill to the air, but Rem is warm when he pulls Nakoa against him, brushes his lips against Nakoa’s hair, and laughs as he says, “You need a fucking shower.”

“Rich, coming from you.” Not that Nakoa minds; or not that he can say anything about it. They both need showers, water pressure better than what by-the-hour motels have to offer. Some fucking soap.

Nakoa hums under his breath, already trying to budget out what they’ll need. He can’t.

“What are you humming?” Rem asks. His breath is warm against Nakoa’s ear, his arm a pleasant weight over Nakoa’s waist. It’s been a few days since they’ve fucked. Rem’s been going, too much, switched on too often. Nakoa jerks him off in the van, sometimes, on open stretches of road, sometimes Rem returns the favor, but Nakoa’s getting restless.

That was the beauty of Withervale, Nakoa thinks. The opportunity to do whatever the fuck they wanted, whenever. And it’s not like they couldn’t pick any town they pleased, settle in, but the call of the open road sounds like the call of a siren, to Nakoa; irresistible.

“Sounds like Queen,” Rem says.

“Good ear.”

“Mm.” Rem’s voice is already drifting. Nakoa waits until Rem’s breathing evens out, sneaks back out to where the recorder sits on the old picnic table next to the van.

It’s dawn sooner than Nakoa expects, and there’s a vicious crick in his neck that throbs and burns when he moves his head.

But, after searching through multiple tapes, through radio stations, through mixtapes… Nakoa’s finished.

He clears his throat. Hits stop on the recorder, then hesitates, his finger over the record button again. He could say it, here. Tell Rem everything he wants to say, even though words are meaningless. It’s easy to recognize that, with Rem. The amount of things that just happen, the words that fall from Rem’s mouth.

Nakoa shoves the tape in the stereo of the van, and crawls back onto the mattress. Rem’s breathing is still slow and steady.

He doesn’t move towards Nakoa in his sleep, so Nakoa does it instead. Presses himself against Rem’s side and curls against him. Nakoa breathes him in, stretches his legs, and passes out.

He wakes to Freddie Mercury singing over staticky, broken speakers, quiet, barely audible. Nakoa stretches his arms over his head, yawns, and sits up.

Rem’s behind him, hands in his lap, picking at the last few remnants of his nail polish from his nails. Nakoa makes a mental note to pick some up, if he can find any.

Nakoa watches him, for just a moment, head tilted to the side, before Rem says, “I like this one.”

His heart swells. A grin grows on his face. “Yeah?”

Rem says nothing, though. Just starts the van, puts it into gear, and drives.

Mist surrounds them, casts the road and woods in an eerie, romantic fog, and Nakoa listens as the tracks change from one to the next, discordant in genre but similar in theme.

Rem laughs when The Scorpions play, taps his fingers against the wheel, and Nakoa feels his heart sing along with the lyrics.

When the tape ends, Nakoa takes a deep breath into the silence, his breath loud in the empty space between them. Rem says nothing, seeming content in the quiet. Nakoa wants to fill the silence, somehow, but all the words feel wrong, now. The tape has already said everything he wants to say to Rem, more eloquently, more concise.

But the miles pass, and Rem says nothing. More miles pass—and he says nothing.

Nakoa resigns himself to nothing, disappointment growing in him like a wild beast, untamed and unmanageable. He bites at his fingernail. Lights a cigarette and takes two drags before he puts it back out.

Still, Rem says nothing.

So neither does Nakoa.

[forestofdigne]

i was tagged by @enjoltairemyasss​ thank you so much!!!

1. are you named after someone

My middle name is named after my aunt who is super rad and probably the only reason i wont change it

2. when is the last time you cried

like an hour or so ago lmao ive been really teary the past couple days

3. do you like your handwriting

sometimes? it changes about three times for each page that i write so sometimes its good and sometimes its awful

4. what is your favorite lunch meat

tbh im not really sure what this means? i dont think this is a thing in australia,, but from my knowledge probably chicken or salami

5. if you were another person, would you be friends with you

probably not, i think id find myself really annoying and clingy but maybe id be like. casual friends. get homework answers from myself and then leave

6. do you use sarcasm

yes always but its really deadpan sarcasm so it sounds like im being serious

7. do you have your tonsils

yep!!

8. would you bungee jump

only if i was with my friends or brother

9. what is your favorite kind of cereal

milo cereal or coco pops

10. do you untie your shoes when you take them off

unless theyre my hightops then no. who has the time

11. are you a strong person

i have spaghetti arms so definitely not physically, emotionally also not but mentally i like to think so (im categorising those as two different things fight me)

12. what is your favorite ice cream flavor

mint choc chip!!

13. what is the first thing you notice about people

i have literally no clue. maybe how they present themselves? like if they seem friendly, confident, lonely etc?

14. red or pink

im not really a fan of either unless theyre dulled down or something

15. what is your least favorite physical thing about yourself

its a toss up between the fact that i cant see fuck without my glasses, my hair is flat and floppy and that my collarbones pop out of place and cause Pain™

16. what color are your pants and shoes

pink pj pants with doggos on them and. fluffy brown/grey doggo slippers i really like dogs

17. last thing you ate

cereal

18. what are you listening to right now

some weird jazzy song on the radio playing from the kitchen

19. if you were a crayon, what shade would you be

either light blue or orange

20. what’s your favorite smell

honeysuckle!! it reminds me of primary school

21. last person you spoke to on the phone

my dad

22. favorite sport to watch

,,,,none

23. hair color

dark brown 

24. eye color

green

25. do you wear contacts

only if i have to, like im going to the beach or snorkelling

26. favorite food to eat

maybe pizza? or pancakes?

27. scary movies or comedy

BOTH!!!

28. last movie you watched

tbh it was the 1998 remake of the parent trap

29. color shirt you are wearing

its either black or very very dark blue, from a run i did a few years back

30. summer or winter

SUMMER. YOU CAN PRY THE 40 DEGREE HEAT FROM MY WARM DEAD HANDS

31. hugs or kisses

ive never been kissed and im not terribly big on hugs either but probably hugs

32. what book are you currently reading

Wild Swans by Jung Chang but lordy is it taking its time

33. who do you miss rn

the friends i havent seen since term ended

34. what’s on your mouse pad

i dont have one kvfhh

35. what’s the last show you watch

some disney channel show probably

36. what’s the best sound

birds because they can make any sound at all

37. rolling stones or the beatles

whom

38. furthest you ever travelled

sydney to england which is 2 flights, and the whole trip adding up to 24 hours. @ mum why did you have to move here

39. special talent

dont think i have one,,

40. where were you born

Sydney Australia, aka where ive lived my entire life

im gonna tag @sxnguisuga, @foxhole-way, @thestarswillwatch, @barakatastrofen, @courfeyracs-swordcane, @courf-the-goof, @robhasacoolcloud, @petit-teo and anyone else who wants to do it!! no pressure though, this is just for fun if you feel like it

[chantalnicolej]

How i hated myself and still do...

Hello All, I think its time to tell my life story... While I was a child I was extermely happy. Always around my family and enjoying my childhood. Everything changed when I left my hometown, New Brunswick, to move to Philadelphia. My mom put me in a public elementary school but it didn't go so well... I had to go to speech therapy every day because I barely could speak English or Spanish. I was different from those kids and that's when the bullying started. I was called retarted, stupid, etc. I couldn't speak of for myself, so I stood there afraid and quiet. The bullying escalated to physical. This one girl (STILL KNOW HER!) use to beat me up and dragged me by my hair through the hallways. I would go home with bruises every single day. One day, my mom realized and as soon as the school year, she put me in catholic school. It was all good until 7th grade. First girl to ever get pimples on my forehead , I was called Indian (lol that wasn't a big deal). It was at a point everybody was wearing abercombie and fitch, and i was still wear Mary Kate and Ashley clothes and I was made fun of again. I didnt have the money to get what everybody had. I had a flip phone while everybody was getting iphones. Now this is the point my parents started changing on me. My mom started being strict and my dad never spoke up for me. At school, I had like 3-5 friends but in reality I was only close with ONE girl! At home, me and my mom would always argue over nothing thats how my depression started. 8th grade came about, and now im starting to cut myself. I started to cut myself to see if someone would notice and help me. But then it escalated that when I cutted myself, I just wished it'll actually kill me. I went to the school counselor and told him I wanted to die. He called my parents, and first time I saw my parents cry about me. My mom took me to the hospital and they told her I need therapy, but dominicans believes that therapy won't help but God will. I understand God is there spiritually but I needed help at the moment. High School came about, and my depression never went away. I had drama here and there and everybody hated me ... At home, I felt the same. Everytime I try to talk to my parents, they say my problem is not a big deal and they are going through bigger things. Now i felt that nobody is listening to me. I had alot of heart breaks. A lot of people I cared about made me feel like i was worthless and just turned against me. I started cutting myself and taking alot of pain killer pills so it can actually kill my pain and make me just get away from my life. Nothing worked... Now I gained an attitude. I just needed someone to put theirselves in my shoes and listen to me for once.... But again, nobody cares about me. Now i'm having self-esteem problems. I dislike how my mom called me fat everyday and compared me to my cousins on how skinny and beautiful they are. I was never my own person to her. She wanted me to be like them... Now i felt like my mom loved them more than me... she gave them advices and listened to their problems, but never had the time to be there for me. I decided to move out my house for college... As soon as I left out, my mom said that she is not going to help me and my dad too. So I got a job. I was in this job for like 9 months and half the team quit. I ended up with a lot of the shift and impacted my school grades badly. It also messed up my relationship with my family because I would miss holidays because I was working too much. My depression was intense because I didnt have time for my family, school, or MYSELF. Everyday, I started hating myself even more.. Now, in school, it was hard too. I felt lonely because i had no friends or someone to talk to. My boyfriend was there and he comfort me but he also needs time to be him. Time for him to be with friends and enjoy college and I dont want to ruin that for him, I care for him too much. So I tried talking to my cousins to ask for advice but some never picked up the phone and some was just "too busy" so I couldnt count on them. I lost 2 friends I had in college and I just felt like I didnt belong anymore... It got to the point that if i left this world, i'll make everybody happy... but I didnt want to feel that anymore. I went and seeked counseling at school. It worked a little bit... I felt happier. Then i told my parents im talking counseling and they were against it,again. They said to talk to them but my dad will laugh at me or my mom said counseling wont help me. Schools over and its summer now... I will believe my parents will let me have a little freedom at home but everytime i go out, im not helping my dad at his supermarket or im a piece of shit ... I got to the point that I told my parents that they'll be happier if I didnt exist in their life. I couldnt do anything. I, also, have problems, for example all the pressure im getting inside my household and outside. I cry at work everyday. I cry when I get home... I just want to find that happiness again...