#and i wish we would strive for a little more here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vaguely-concerned · 4 months ago

Text

My two cents on how much of Mind!Varric is Rook’s mind trying to fill the blank space and how much is Solas actively talking through a convenient blood magic paper doll of the mind: I think it's a mix of both, a truly collaborative psychosocial horrorshow if you would, but waaaay more towards the second. It feels too directed and tactical at times to be anything else. Rook's mind is willing to go along with the denial phase as far as it can fucking carry them to not have to face the grief and regret and does its part in papering over details that don’t make any sense, the way brains will strive to create coherent meaning even out of deeply confusing input, but to my understanding it's a collaborateur in how that plays out, not the instigator or control center. Solas is using it as a path to agency and to gather insight into Rook as a person unguarded as he can't count on in his own guise. (That stoic option that leads to him being like 'oh I see you're cautiously denying me access to your inner life. well. at least you still have Varric to talk to. y'know as an outlet :)'. You absolute BITCH Solas! That alone convinced me that he HAS to have an active hand in it on some level.)

My guess is that it takes considerable effort on Solas’ part to make Mind!Varric do anything more involved or complicated than seeming to sit up in bed and give casual commentary, and that’s why he keeps having eerie five minute shallow pep talks with you before he announces he conveniently needs a nap aaanyway good luck kid you got this haha. When he’s just spouting NPC lines from his bedrest, I’m ready to believe that could be Rook’s mind being allowed to improv lines for him more freely because it’s less about Solas trying to get something out of them or working an angle and more ‘Still here! Still totally alive and fine and the mentor figure you know and love and trust :) don’t even worry about it! Thankfully there is no war in Ba Sing Sei, as we all know’ upkeep work lol. Rook’s mind is allowed to set the tone of Varric, the outlines, but not always the content.

AND, on a (beautifully fucked up) character psychology level, I feel like Solas is indulging in actually getting to be the good supportive mentor figure to Rook with one hand to assuage the guilt he feels about what he's done -- and what he's going to do -- to them with the other. Same internal logic as he uses in Trespasser about the Qun. ‘Almost everyone is going to die from the course of action I’m doggedly pursuing eventually. But at least I can make their last years happier and freer and kinder than they would have been otherwise. and that kind of makes up for it right. a little bit. doesn't it. doesn't that make it better at least. I need that to make it better)'. Did I really take your beloved mentor and friend from you if you don’t know yet that I did? Some philosophers would argue not really! So it’s probably almost ok actually. Isn’t it even a little noble that I’m taking all this grief and guilt on myself and shielding you for now. With undertones that I’m not sure he would realize himself (and might be mortified by if he did) that he is so incredibly lonely, and even a dishonest and indirect emotional connection is more than nothing when you’re that desperate. In this setup he gets idk. Both the control he craves so incredibly badly in relationships and over himself, and the scraps, the fading afterimages, of intimacy and warmth and companionship, even second hand. The one thing Solas and Rook agree on deep deep down is that they really wish Varric weren't gone. They're handshake memeing this in the saddest and most creepy way possible.

I think an important element too is that Solas needs Rook and their team to *succeed* — up to a certain point. He needs someone to hold the two other elven mean girls off until he can get out of here. Ideally, in a perfect world, even do all the hard work of killing them so he can swoop in at the end and do his thing when both sides are exhausted and out of resources to stop him, and then Bob’s your uncle! Same logic as he was using with Corypheus, and after that worked out so well, too! King of choosing to never learn from a single solitary mistake he’s ever made even though i fully believe he could have the capacity to Fen’Harel <3 The underlying idea isn’t flawed, you see, it was just unforeseen circumstances getting in the way. This time for sure it’ll all work out the way I cleverly imagined it in my head beforehand. Cue By Talos this can’t be happening etc. in the form of a statue almost crushing him like a bug.

So he's providing guidance and forging Rook into a leader from two angles: one Rook might not trust, and one they probably will. Shaping them into what he needs slowly and carefully. He’s helping you hone your team into their most effective state, as he might have done with his own agents back in the day, setting up his chess pieces even if he has to squint through two glimpsed realities to do it haha. Pincer maneuver of an insidious stealth mentor you never asked for. Also… at one point mind Varric gives you a whole little monologue about how Solas' problem is that he’s always seen his interpersonal connections as flaws and see where it’s landed him, all alone and the worst part? it hasn’t even worked. it’s all been for nothing he’s back where he began with nothing to show for it but his mistakes. Like...that has such strong 'uh okay happy to play your therapist from two rooms away here what the fuck kind of traumadump is this' energy to me, I’m not sure Rook like. Thinks that much about Solas as a private person. So much of Solas' self-loathing and futile insights into his own flaws seem to shine through in Mind!Varric's dialogue all the time — I just can't believe that there's no guiding hand behind it as it were.

Most of all. I feel like people underestimate the degree to which Solas is incredibly funny. As in, he has a very consistent and recognizable sense of humour. It’s one of my very favourite things about him. We must remember — it is crucial that we always keep in mind — Orlesian accent and wig Solas from May The Dread Wolf Take You (my beloved, the explanation for why I love this dude even with the. All of the everything else. No one does it quite like him). He is not at all above doing things or adding little flourishes for his own obscure amusement, in fact that seems to me to be one of his most consistent traits. The Randy Dowager Quarterly comment Varric has? The ‘Maybe this is the Dread Wolf’s revenge. Forcing us to house sit for him’ thing? To Me this is 100% Solas amusing himself in his boring Fade jail surrounded by the screaming hellscape of all his regrets. Source: it came to me as divine revelation through pure vibes trust me bro

If nothing else I find it much more narratively interesting personally if the connection between Rook and Solas really is that defenselessly intimate and entwined (and so unbalanced!), and the sense of violation and invasion and betrayal afterwards consequently all the more nauseatingly intense. Even if you kept him at arm’s length in the open, he’s been under your skin the whole time, looking around, gathering what he needs to destroy you, wearing the face of a friend. Regretfully, probably, but choosing to do it every step of the way anyway. (Sound familiar, Inquisitor? Solas doesn’t have that many tricks when you actually look at it, he keeps returning to old tried and true ones like a dog with a bone haha.) Maybe he even genuinely meant some of it as mercy, which only makes it so much worse. It makes his sin against his own core principles of autonomy and the freedom of all beings in mind, spirit and body so much more juicily grave if it’s something he pursues actively and consistently, rather than it half-falling into his lap as a happy accident mainly orchestrated by Rook’s own subconscious. Solas, too, is at his very lowest point, the closest to giving in and becoming his own antithesis fully that he’s ever been, and it makes the choice of whether you still reach out your hand to him one last time or not all the more impactful and difficult.

#dragon age #dragon age: the veilguard #dragon age: the veilguard spoilers #dragon age spoilers #dragon age meta #solas #varric tethras #rook #I love what weeekes has managed to do with solas in this game honestly. both kinder and harsher reads on him?#completely supported by the text and completely valid. it really does come down to how you feel individually at the end of it all #there are good arguments to be made in every direction. sing o muse about a complicated man.#and also a motherfucker (affectionate *and* derogatory)#forgiveness isn't about him it's about you ultimately. do you find it in yourself or are there things that shouldn't be forgiven? up to you #he deserves both compassion and to be slam dunked straight into hell often with equal intensity. and i think that's beautiful #face in my hands. it keeps happening to me. I black out and I've written a whole thing and feel like I've been through a meat grinder #clearly my brain needs to Process things very badly but god I wish I could maybe control a bit more when and how intensely it does it lol #obligatory disclaimer that this is only my personal opinion and read on the game and characters involved etc. YMMV

754 notes · View notes

chrollohearttags · 1 month ago

Text

hard to breathe • portgas d. ace

seeing your ‘ex’ boyfriend ace one last time for closure..or so you thought. (based off of this song I’ve been obsessed with for months. It’s ‘old’ but I felt like it fit him and the vibe of this fic)

📝: black fem!reader, lots of relationship angst, modern au, heavy kissing, arguing + lots of dialogue, they’re slightly toxic ( y’all both ain’t shit I’m sorry 😭), riding, car sex, dirty talk, breeding, baby trapping (kinda), infidelity, hair pulling, pet names and daddy used, crying

wc: 4.1K

🎙️: I love writing my faves in a bunch of different scenarios, including ones that aren’t typical for their personality. This is in no way condoning toxicity, infidelity or anything of the sort. I just thought it would be a lil fun to experiment.

═✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿═══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

“Where are you right now?”

“I should be with you..”

“You know that’s not a good idea..”

“Yeah, but it’s what we both want..who cares if it’s wrong or not?”

3:30am

the deep drawl on the other end of the line luring you in with each word..it always had a tendency to do so, even when you wished you could just ignore it.

“Ace, what the hell do you want from me? Stop this.”

“C’mon, babe. It’s the truth. Don’t tell me you’re feeling guilty..what did I tell you? You’ve got to stop giving so much a damn about what other people think.”

“Go to hell. Not everyone can just mistreat people like it’s nothing.”

it was a shame honestly..this type of behavior was so unbecoming of both of you. A sweet girl who didn’t like to make much of a fuss for anyone or over anything. And him, the shining example of a stand up guy. Charming, kind, helpful, a little rough around the edges but what every man should strive to be. Yet here you were..whispering into the speaker of your phone as to not wake the one in the room next to you. A mere replacement to dull the ache in your heart caused by him and his stupidity. Meanwhile, he was chuckling in your ear. Seemingly teasing you because he could sense the tension in your shaky voice. He knew you’d bolt the second you heard a ruffle from the other room…but he also knew you’d never hang up. Knew you couldn’t resist answering in the first place and for damn sure, that you couldn’t resist his offer…

“I want to see you. I can be at your place in ten..”

“Are you out of your fucking mind? It’s late, Ace..and—“

“And what? Afraid your little boyfriend might wake up? I know it’s not because you don’t want to see me either.”

“You’re a piece of work, you know that? How dare you? You ended things, Ace. Not me. So why the fuck do you keep hitting me up?”

the line would fall silent for a moment..only the shallow echoes of your breath captured on the opposite end. That was until you’d hear a sigh and his voice once more. This time with a much less arrogant tone.

“Listen, (y/n)..I get it. I fucked up..it’s my fault things turned out this way and I’m sorry. I know I can’t go back or change anything that happened between us but I can try to make it right. Even if it means someone else gets to do what I couldn’t…I just wanted a chance to apologize. In person…which I should’ve been man enough to do from the jump.”

the things in question? Your relationship..a bond of three years to be exact and a union everyone was certain would end in the two of you walking down the aisle. However, life has a funny way of throwing even the biggest of curveballs. This man had all but swept you off your feet one night a few summers ago..both out with friends and enjoying the night life as young singles should. Drinking, laughing and having a blast. Even though you were a bit more on the reserved side, he still managed to spot you out of all the beautiful women in that club that night. And trust, a fair share of them had been vying for his attention. Even so, he couldn’t focus on anyone but you. That was one of Ace’s many wonderful qualities. In a room full of people, he managed to make you feel special..as if you were the only one there. Which wasn’t exactly intentional..his biggest issue was that he tried to be friendly, trying his hardest not to hurt anyone’s feelings anymore. He struggled with his anger quite a bit when he was younger, taking next to nothing to set him off and if he was in the midst of conversation with one person, it was best that no one else tried to interrupt. However, he realized that only caused trouble so he always tried to greet someone regardless. It just didn’t fare very well when it came to women. No girl wants someone that it seems everyone can access to!

But alas, you sat in that section next to him; nursing your drinks and exchanging pleasantries. He was so easy to talk to. He had this awkward yet charming charisma about him. Almost as if despite his good looks, he wasn’t the ‘ladies man’ you’d peg him to be off first glance. Somehow though, he managed to get your number and the rest was history. You began hanging out, going on a couple dates..even spending a weekend together after a bad storm trapped the two of you inside of his apartment. You really enjoyed being around him and as time passed, the bond grew stronger. Six months later, you came over to visit and found yourself greeted by smoke and an obviously frustrated Ace covered in soot..a result of him attempting to cook a dinner to formally ask you to be his girlfriend! It was those goofy yet sweet gestures that made you adore him.

perfectly flawed was the best way to describe him in your book…maybe he made mistakes and maybe he didn’t come from this picturesque family but he was a damn good guy doing his best to be better than what he was used to. He was a hard worker and willing to fight for what he wanted.

You cherished every moment you guys got to spend together and at one point, you even got matching tattoos of half hearts on each of your hands..however, things began to crumble in the once ideal world you had curated together.

going from laughing all the time to petty arguments that seemed intentional. From spending late nights together..making love until the sun shines over your bodies..now you were blowing up his phone to see where he was. You began to suspect that he was cheating. Perhaps somewhere with another woman. But you were wrong..truth be told, he was running.

running away from a healthy home and relationship because he didn’t know how to handle it. Didn’t know how to process being loved unconditionally without expecting the worst to happen…he never figured himself to be good enough for you to begin with but here you were..constantly showering him with affection; buying him gifts, making his favorite meals and even surprising him with massages after long, stressful days at work. You were everything he didn’t deserve! Hence why..he felt the need to blow it up before it could escalate. He couldn’t let you continue treating someone like him as if he were special. Three weeks later, he texted you asking to break up and to say you were devastated? Was an understatement. You loved this man so damned much, you had already begun looking at wedding dresses and contemplating baby names, figuring you guys were in this for the long run. But fairy tales don’t exist and you weren’t getting the story book ending. Instead, you were left heartbroken..trying to piece yourself back together and figure out what went wrong.

“Just one last time, that’s all I’m asking. I want to say I’m sorry and then I’m out of your hair for good, I promise. I won’t bother you ever again..”

a solid compromise, you supposed. Besides, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to look him in his eye and tell him to go fuck himself for how he fumbled you. He’d plead, calling your name until he got a response and finally:

“I’ll be in the lobby, call me when you get here.” Before disconnecting the line and releasing a heavy sigh. You fought back tears but in order for the next chapter of your life to begin, you had to finish this one. But the funny thing about some books…

is that they refused to remain closed!

═✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿═══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

page break bc I don’t do filler

═✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿═══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══

“..it’s nice to see you again. You look beautiful as always—“

“Enough of the small talk. State your business and make it quick.”

the two of you sat parked outside of your luxury apartment complex, downstairs in the desolate parking garage. Your arms folded across your chest in a defensive manner and his stretched across the steering wheel..that goofy snark on his face as he kissed his teeth. He knew you were fighting so hard to stand firm in your boundaries, something you struggled with in the past. And truthfully, he hated to disrupt that peace…but he was selfish, gluttonous even. He wasn’t always this nice guy everyone saw him as. He wanted to have his cake and eat it too and if that meant he’d leave your head a mess once again then so be it. A fucked up sentiment but the truth nonetheless..

“…damn. It's like that then? Fair enough..”

turning in his seat, Ace shifted and focused his attention directly on you. It was hard to maintain eye contact because how could he face you after such a betrayal? Even so, this was his bed he made and it was time to lie in it.

“The truth is...I was afraid. One day, you’d wake up and realize that I wasn’t what you thought I was. That I was broken and I didn’t have my shit together. It’s like no matter what I did in my life, I found a way to fuck it up. Make a mess of things..I’m not like you, (y/n). Honestly, what could you possibly see in me? Don’t you want someone who’s your equal?”

by this time, tears were beginning to swell in his eyes as well. The more he spoke, he realized that these feelings of insecurity were always within him. You promised yourself that you were just going to give him a piece of your mind, storm out and never have to see him again. But it was never that easy with this man.

you knew he was genuine and not just trying to victimize himself. He honestly felt like you could do so much better. But he also knew by the look in your eyes that you were not going to let him get away so easily.. You didn’t hate him, hell, you couldn’t even bring yourself to fully get angry with him for what he did. Looking down, Ace would begin to chuckle; a weird coping mechanism for him in times of stress and uttered the last words you wanted to hear.

“And after all this time, all the bullshit I put you through..you still love me, don’t you? That’s the only reason you’re still sitting here..the only reason you didn’t hang up. When you’re done with something, you never give it a second thought.” sitting cross armed, you’d begin to laugh. Not at his hurt but at the fact that for the first time in almost five years of knowing him, you saw him show genuine, raw emotion. You saw him finally let down his guard and be himself…as sad as it was, it was a bit cathartic.

“Wow…so you are capable of communicating your feelings and there isn’t a ten foot wall of bullshit in that head of yours.” Poking the side of his temple playfully..

“Of course I love you. I never stopped, you inconsiderate jackass. What did I ever do to you? That’s all I could ask myself. You keep talking about me deserving better and all of this bullshit..who gave you the right to decide what I wanted and what I deserve? Shouldn’t I have a say too? You left because it was easy, Ace. Instead of working through it with me, you ran because you don’t want anyone thinking you’re weak. That’s not how relationships work..we’re supposed to see each other at our worst, our best..good and bad days. If you feel insecure about anything, you did it to yourself because you were perfect to me and you know damn well I never made you feel anything less than.”

those words stung like none other. And honestly, no matter what he said, there wasn’t a good enough excuse for any of his behavior. You said it best..he was selfish, immature and didn’t think clearly. Ace had a knack for marching to the beat of his own drum and damn the consequences.

“..you’re right, (y/n). It’s my fault..and I can’t take any of it back…” suddenly, you’d feel his hand clutch the top of your own, intertwining your fingers as he stared you in the eye.

“..but I can try to fix it. Fix us..let me make this right. Please…if you’re happier with someone else, then there’s nothing I can do. But—“ In that moment, (y/n) had finally heard all that you could take. Reaching over the console, you’d clutch his face in your palm and shove your lips together. The sensation of that warm kiss sent a surge throughout your body..a spark you hadn’t felt since the day he left.

“Are you done? God, I swear you talk too damn much.” Prompting him to laugh as you held the side of his face. He was a little taken aback by your sudden dominance. Not knowing you to ever take control like this but he wasn’t mad about it one bit..

“..why’d you kiss me? What about your boyfriend?” A question as disrespectful as it was rhetorical.

“You’re as dumb as you are cute sometimes. You think I came all the way out here at three am to chit chat? Nut uh, you owe me..also, you’re a greedy bastard. No way you’re letting me go back in that apartment unless it’s with you." By this time, your hands were roaming his chest and your faces were only inches apart. His lips would curl into a sheepish grin before his palm snaked to the back of your neck, tugging your head towards him.

“..what can I say, babe? I’m just too damn stubborn..I always have to get my way.” And with that, you’d find your tongues joined together again. Twirling around one another with heavy whimpers mixed in. Suddenly, you’d find yourself crawling into the driver's seat and onto his lap. Just as you’d suspected, he’d worn those gray sweats you’d always loved to see him in and a black tank top to display his muscles, along with a newly acquired tattoo.

This man was not slick at all! Even so, his little tactic worked because all those memories of late nights and early mornings with him came rushing back. When you’d find yourself sneaking out on lunch breaks at work just to come eat his dick up or when he’d show up at your apartment around midnight because he’d work the closing shift again. With a bottle of wine and the intention of putting you through the mattress in every position after two glasses got you turned on. It was always exciting and spontaneous with Ace, something your ‘new man’ lacked. Slowly winding in his lap as you continued to make out, (y/n) caressed his torso..missing the familiar touch of his skin, taking in the scent of his cologne and immersing yourself in him. He’d run his thumbs across your throat, gently squeezing as you took his bottom lip between his teeth.

“You’re so beautiful..I missed you.” “Yeah? You missed me, baby?” Teasing him as you bounced your ass against his crotch, subtly twerking on his visible bulge. Caressing your gentle fingertips across his freshly shaven jawline. You could feel him growing harder underneath him and knew he wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer. Even kissing on his neck and licking on his jugular. “Mmmm..fuck. Pull that dress up and I’ll show you just how much.” Without a single bit of hesitation, you lifted the hem and allowed your bare cheeks and slit to graze him. Shuffling around underneath you, Ace slid his thumbs into the sides of those sweats, letting them pool around his waist. Meanwhile, he couldn’t stop marking your neck and lips with tender kisses..or apologizing for how stupid he was! Being here with you again brought back a flood of memories and emotions..ones that he never wanted to lose again. He needed this to be real once more. However, you weren’t much for talking right now..if he wanted to win his girl back, all you needed were actions.

“Why are you still talking? Just fuck the shit out of me before I grow a conscience and change my mind.” Your command being heard loud and clear; forcing him to grip your waist and balance you above that aching tip. Swollen red and seeping with precum, he was eager for you and that warm cunt was welcoming him in.

“Yes ma’am..whatever you say.” Following up his remark with a toothy smirk so you knew he was going to deliver and give you exactly what you were looking for. (Y/N) reclined against the steering wheel for a moment as he slowly infiltrated that entrance. That core drooling as he made home inside of you. Both of your heads fell backwards in a haze of pleasure…enjoying the all too familiar feeling of being one!

“Shiiit..why are so fucking tight? Oh my gosh..” those breathy moans and whines escaped his mouth the second he began thrusting. Not even two pumps in and he was trying to maintain his composure. With you though, he failed pretty quick. Reacclimating to the warmth that was your insides was going to be a challenge. Even so, he’d continue to guide you up and down on his shaft, letting that thick cock stretch open those wet folds.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Take this dick…just like that..” Meanwhile, (y/n)’s mouth fell ajar, overstimulated by the sensation already. You’d paw at his chest, holding onto him as he maneuvered you to his liking. Using your body like that of a flesh light. “’s so good. Missed this big fucking dick.” Hearing those words elicited another chuckle from Ace, prompting him to cradle the back of your neck in a dominant manner, pulling you close. “Yeah? Your little boyfriend ever fuck you like this?” Questioning through clenched teeth as he continued guiding your lower half..

those soft insides wrapping around him with each stroke. You’d then feel the tight clutch of his hand on the back of your head, tugging at those freshly styled wefts coursing down your back..he was aware of the minute fortune you spent each month to upkeep your beauty. From the thousand dollar hair appointments, nail salon visits and waxes..even so, he didn’t give a damn! Turning his gorgeous girl into a sloppy slut was his favorite pastime. A toothy grin on his face, watching your swollen tits bounce and drool seep from the corners of your mouth, along with the loud moans following suit.

“..I’ll take that as a no. You’re squeezing me like you haven’t come in ages, babe.” Those taunts harbored more truth than you’d care to admit. As shameful as it was to be cheating, you’d never be happy with someone who couldn’t give you a nut! Hypocritical as it was abhorrent, you too would never be satisfied until you got what you desired. And that desire was the guy slamming balls deep up inside of you at the moment. Pounding that sensitive little core..letting that fat mushroom tip split you open and begging for that sweet cunt to siphon him for every last drop of cum he had. “You’re fucking dripping..you must’ve needed this bad. Goddamn..” referring to the creamy release you had drizzling his cock. Making a mess of his lap. “Y—yeah..you’re the only one who can make me cream like this.” Cock drunk and giggling as he catapulted you up and down. The vehicle began to sway due to the heavy activity taking place and the windows also began to fog up as a result. That’s when you’d feel his palms colliding with your asscheeks, egging on your bouncing. It was in the midst of those heavy handed smacks that he’d begin pleading his remorse. Telling you how sorry he was for how he mistreated you. As cute as it was, you weren’t interested in any half assed apologies, but rather….

”…if you’re really sorry, you’ll nut in me. This is your pussy so act like it..” Uttering those words with a wide smile on your face whilst meeting his strokes with heavy bounces..nearly made Ace convulse. He loved when you spoke to him in such a domineering manner. You’d feel a sudden twitch inside of you and his hands guiding you as you slammed down on that cock. Your cheeks grazing the outer rim of the steering wheel..both of you so close to your peak that you’d claw into one another’s skin.

Covered in a sheen of sweat and saliva..begging the other to get you there and revealing all of your deepest confessions for one another..including the fact that he wanted you to be his forever and that you weren’t leaving this parking lot without him. You’d clearly chosen who you wanted to be with.

“…damn right it’s my pussy, princess. I don’t care who you bring home. You belong to me and I belong to you..no one else can come between that. Ever again.”

not to mention..you were begging for his cum yet again. You’d often divulge in the throes of pre-climatic bliss that you wanted to have his kid..be so full of his seed that there was no way you weren’t pregnant and Ace certainly had no objections to it. Maybe it was the sensation of being cream pied or the fact that you really wanted a family with him. Either way, he constantly fantasized about seeing you full with his seed; how adorable you’d look with a bump and he just couldn’t maintain his composure.

“Yes..please come in me. Want your baby—“ having to laugh again at how cute and pathetic you were becoming. But alas, there was no room for shame right now. You’d plead with your last breath to feel that womb stuffed again.

“That right, gorgeous? Does my pretty girl want me to get her pregnant?..” “Yes, nut in this fucking pussy, daddy. Please!” certainly a far cry from the headstrong woman who was yelling at him before. Now, you were reduced to a desperate little cumslut, pleading to be bred. Luckily, you didn’t have to wait long. After experiencing your second orgasm in close succession, Ace would pin you down and force his cock up into you, going as fast as he could muster. “Don’t worry, you’re gonna take every drop. You’re going to have my baby and I’m going to take such good care of you both. Gonna marry you—be a better man this time around..” That soft flesh ricocheting as a result..loud grunts and curse words filling the car as he prepared to do the same to you.

“M fucking coming, babe! Hold still—shit!—“ in that moment, that orgasm would rip through his body and just as you requested, all of his warm seed coursed through your insides and didn’t stop for a solid two minutes..having not had a proper orgasm since you guys split up. He was still twitching inside of you, holding you to his chest as you both cried from how amazing it felt. Tears on both of your faces as a result of ecstasy.

“Damn, I guess I wasn’t the only one who needed that.” Teasing him amidst your cute giggles. Leaning up, (y/n) kissed the tip of his nose and caressed his cheek..unable to believe that you were here with him again. He’d gently stroke the side of your face as well..glaring at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

“I love you, (y/n)..so much. I never thought I’d get the chance to tell you that again. Feels so good.” And you shared his sentiment. He was the only one it ever felt genuine from and damn sure, the only guy you meant it to. Any guilt or shame had long since absolved and you knew this was exactly where you should’ve been. ”I love you too, Ace. I’m so glad you showed up.” It was going to be a long day, as you had some explaining to do. But for now..

“Shit..he’s calling me.”

“Ignore it..let me hold you a little bit longer, okay?”

you wanted to remain in this moment for as long as possible. After all, this is where you were happiest and there was no one who’d give you the high that he could.

410 notes · View notes

thisblogisaboutabook · 1 year ago

Text

Baby, Mine

Azriel x Reader - Angst/Fluff - One shot

Rhys returns from under the mountain and Azriel’s life is changed forever as a bond snaps with the female his brother brings back with him. After an unexpected pregnancy is revealed, Azriel strives to show his mate just how much she and their child mean to him. Please read warnings below.

Bonus Chapter/Part 2

Warnings: discussion of rape and S/A, pregnancy resulting from rape, mentions of trauma, language, mention of pregnancy termination

“We should get up. My stomach’s growling.”

“And I thought it was just the little one chatting with my shadows.” Azriel teased, flushing beneath her gaze as his scarred fingers traced lightly over the growing swell of her abdomen, becoming more apparent by the day. He’d been nervous touching it for the first time, like he’d desecrate that precious life force growing underneath with his hands that had inflicted so much pain. But the way her eyes lit up the first time he touched it, he never wanted to forget the feeling of love and joy radiating into him through that newfound bond. It was beautiful - made him feel worthy of helping raise the beautiful life she was bringing into the world.

Though her stomach growled again, she made no move to get up, and by the way her hands were holding onto him, Azriel knew better than to go retrieve a plate from the House of Wind’s kitchen for her. So he sent a shadow beneath the door to see if Nuala or Cerridwen were there and if they could bring leftovers in, that is if Cassian and Mor hadn’t devoured the entire breakfast already.

“How’s she doing?” Rhys asked into his mind.

“Better than some days but not great, Rhys.”

There was a pause before Rhys’ guilty voice reentered his conscious.

“She’s the most selfless person I know, Az. I’m glad you two have eachother. But if she needs anything, if you need anything, let me know.”

And she was. Selfless in a way that Azriel couldn’t fathom. Selfless in a way that made his gut churn, a way he wanted to roar at the moon and the stars, and anyone who would listen. Selfless when she should have never had to be. She was bright and radiant and kind. The world looked at her and saw ethereal sunshine, walking starlight, unfathomable beauty both inside and out. But there was darkness and pain there too, so buried down deep that only Azriel could feel it in the middle of the night as whimpers disrupted her sleep.

So many nights Rhys would have to come in and cradle her mind, send her soothing thoughts and visions of anything beautiful that could mask the perils that haunted her dreams.

Azriel hated himself for it, the jealousy. He wished he could soothe her in that way but no matter how much love he sent through their bond, that darkness rooted itself so deeply within her that sometimes it took significant power from Rhys to reach it.

As if Rhys wasn’t already fighting his own trauma and waging against the insurmountable guilt he carried after being under the mountain, plus worrying about Feyre in the Spring Court. And that wasn’t to say Y/N was a burden in any way, though she felt she was. It killed Azriel to see both his mate and his brother fighting so much grief and not being able to do anything about it.

She’d have been better suited to be Rhysand’s mate than Azriel’s own by their intertwined traumas, by their ability to put themselves aside for a better world. Azriel, of course, fit into this court of dreamers but she… despite only being here for such a short period of time, she was the biggest dreamer of them all.

Another rumble from her stomach snapped Azriel out of his thoughts, mentally noting to Rhys, “She could use breakfast.”

“I’ll send some for both of you. You need to take care of yourself too.”

Azriel smelled the salt of her tears before he saw the silver lining her eyes. Propping himself up on an elbow, draping a wing over her, he began to ask softly, “Hey-“. Her head immediately shaking and she choked on the word, “No.”

“Baby, I know what you’re thinking and it’s not a burden. He just wanted to know if you needed anything.”

She took a few deep breaths, willing away those tears. “He doesn’t have to check on me. It’s my f-“

“Stop that. Listen to me, I’m always here to listen to you and I know that you’re dealing with complex emotions and trauma that I cannot even begin to fully fathom but this.. it’s not your fault.”

Her eyes welled up further as Azriel continued,

“I don’t want to lecture you or invalidate what you are feeling. Your emotions are justified but… these thoughts will eat you alive, they’re vicious lies that have been conditioned into you, and I can promise you that nobody blames anything on you. This entire family is so fucking grateful to have you as a part of it. In a world of darkness, where you had every right, every reason to bring that darkness with you, you chose light.”

He choked on his words as those tears flowed down her face. “You chose light when it only brought more darkness upon yourself.”

She cut him off. “She’s not darkness.”

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “She?”

And through her tears, he saw the slightest gleam of radiance in her eyes. “I can just feel it. Feel her.”

Azriel pressed a kiss to Y/N’s belly. “Yes, you are absolutely right. She is not darkness - she’s a beacon of light, the brightest star in the sky, perhaps aside from her mother - but the mental load you are carrying, it is dark and it’s heavy. And yes, you would carry darkness with you regardless of this spark of hope” he rubbed her belly in tender circles for emphasis. “But I know that mind of yours. That you are telling yourself that you’re a burden, that you made the wrong choice, when there was no wrong choice.”

At this point, the tears were streaming down her face, his shadows dutifully whisking them away, but only gratitude and love flowed from her.

A knock came on the door. Azriel’s eyes glazed over as Y/N recognized the telltale signs of what was happening. A line creased in his brow before she placed a gentle hand on his arm. “It’s okay, he can come in.”

“You sure, my love? He understands when you need space.”

She nodded. “I know but I think I need to see him today.” Azriel brushed his thumb in soothing ministrations across her abdomen until she pulled her night gown back down to cover herself.

The door creaked open and Rhys padded over to the bed, guilt and adoration limning his features. “Hey, starshine.” She blushed at the term. She hated her own name after Amarantha had called it so many times under the mountain. Rhys had begun calling her Starshine in secret due to her Day Court origins and the fact that he was convinced she’d been more suited for the Night Court.

Rhys had been drawn to her under the mountain, something about her reminding him of his brother. Rhysand could admit that Azriel was the most beautiful of the three brothers, his features seemingly crafted by the gods themselves. But if Azriel’s features were crafted by the gods, Y/N’s were crafted by the Mother herself. Aside from that, she had a quiet presence, though far less stoic and broody than Azriel’s, it was more of a quiet, gentle grace. A grace that Amarantha had tried so hard to shed her of but was never quite successful.

Amarantha, of course, made it her mission to both seek pleasure from her and torment her. When she never fully broke, Amarantha decided that instead of throwing her to the dark corridors she stuffed most lesser fae in, she’d make an excellent play thing. She looked mostly High Fae after all, yet had enhanced sexual appeal due to her nymph ancestry - perfect high and round breasts, long legs, a firm yet supple ass, and an arousing scent - needless to say, Amarantha delighted to add her to her roster of bed chamber accompaniment.

Y/N and Rhys developed a quiet understanding of each other and the roles they were forced to play in the year that she’d been under the mountain before Feyre arrived. They did not grow close enough for Amarantha to become concerned but enough that she knew her play things got along well enough to bring them both into her chambers at the same time.

Rhys would never forget the first time Amarantha had forced he and her into her chambers at the same time. Y/N tried to be strong, and she was. Another aspect of her that reminded him of his brother.

But she began to crack slightly, and Rhys knew Amarantha would make it so much worse for her if she did. So he did the only thing he knew to do and held her mind. He showed her visions of the Night Skies of the Night Court, the spirits of Starfall, the laughter of a family surrounding a table in a beloved restaurant, anything that could help her through it.

As he held her mind, she’d unwittingly sent visions from throughout her twenty-two years of life prior to being captured and brought under the mountain. She was loved deeply by her family who had little more than love to give. Eventually they had been murdered by Amarantha’s cronies at the age of nineteen - she’d been able to escape and live among the High Fae who sneered and objectified her, but offered enough coin to sleep with her to keep a roof over her head.

Rhys had determined that night that if they ever made it out of there alive, he was taking her to Velaris with him. She’d never live like that again.

He even smiled at the thought of introducing her and Azriel when she was ready to meet his family, already picturing his brother’s rose-dusted cheeks in her presence.

“Thank you” Azriel’s low voice withdrew Rhys from his thoughts, taking the plate from his hands.

A familiar scent wafted off of Rhys to Y/N. Pregnancy had heightened her sense of smell substantially.

As she sniffed the air Rhys gave a soft, sad smile at the eye brow she raised at him before asking, “Where is she?”

He shook his head, darkness rolling in waves off of him. “Tamlin locked her in his fucking manor. She had a breakdown.”

Her face drew tight. “That bastard!” Azriel flinched at the rage flowing down the bond. “She must have been terrified.”

“She certainly terrified the servants in his manor. She shrouded herself in darkness and nobody could get through to her.”

“He doesn’t deserve her.”

Rhys nodded. “He doesn’t.”

“You didn’t answer my question, Rhys. Where is she?”

“At the Town House.”

Her eyes blew wide. “Cauldron boil me, is she staying?”

Azriel smiled as he felt her excitement flow into him. A bit of that Day Court sunshine returning to her.

“I don’t know. She knows she can’t tell anyone if she goes back, but…”

“I felt it through the bond, Y/N. I think she’s here to stay.”

Azriel’s shadows agitated at the pause in verbal conversation, chattering back and forth,

“Secrets”

He rolled his eyes and dismissed them, already knowing there were some things that remained between just Y/N and Rhys. He’d accepted it the very moment he’d shown up after he received word that Rhys was finally home and the bond snapped as soon as he laid eyes upon the radiant female by his side. He knew it snapped for her too when she walked right up to him, touched the hands he tried to hide behind his back, her eyes speaking everything she couldn’t. “I see your scars. I bear them too.” And pressed a kiss to each hand.

“Do you want me to leave? I assume she’s at the Town House but I’m sure she’ll be visiting here too, yes?”

Azriel bristled. No way in hell was Rhys going to make his mate leave, whether this home was his or not, she had a right to be present wherever she wished.

“Easy brother.”

Azriel shook off the feeling. The mating instinct was still so strong that he had a hard time not jumping in to defend her at the thought of any threat, physical or emotional.

“Y/N” Rhys took her hand.

“Don’t bite my head off for holding her hand, either.”

Azriel huffed before firing back to Rhys’ mind “I can’t wait for you to find your mate someday so you can see what it feels like to be so wound up like this.”

Rhys only gave a small, secret smile in return.

Y/N interjected. “Are you two done gossiping or can I know whether I should pack up or not?”

“This is your home just as much as it is my home. You are my family and I want Feyre to meet all of you. Cassian has already barreled through the door of the Town House along with Mor begging to be fed. Feyre went up to nap and recollect herself.”

“Can we have dinner with her… if she wants to?” She asked softly with a mixture of excitement and nervousness to her voice.

Rhys gave a nod. “I was thinking that same thing. Would you be comfortable?”

She nodded before the reality of the situation caught up with her.

“Y/N.” Rhys leaned in, gently tilting her head up to look at him. “I am not ashamed of you. I will never hide you or the life you are selflessly bringing into this Court of Dreamers.” His eyes lined with silver. “And I will always be so proud of the love that you both share. I knew from the moment I met you that my brother would adore you. And the fact that you two are mates? It’s one of the greatest things to come from that shit hole of a mountain. A reminder of the beauty that can prevail, even after the most dreadful of circumstances. I love all three of you.”

Azriel held his mate closely, ensuring she felt just how loved she truly was.

“She kicked for the first time the other day.”

Rhys raised a brow.

Y/N let out a sigh. “Ugh, you two are so skeptical. I really believe that this baby is a girl.”

Rhys eyed the scarred hand protectively placed over her round bump, so many complicated emotions running through him, with love being the strongest.

“Feyre will likely ask questions tonight regarding all of us, our stories. Nobody has to share anything they do not wish to, but you also may share if you are comfortable doing so. I would really like for Feyre to become a member of the Inner Circle-“

Rhys looked to Y/N rolling his eyes at the smirk and waggling eyebrows she gave him.

“Stop that. My point is just that, I would like for her to know all of you. I know she’ll love you all just as I do. Hell, she’ll probably love all of you before she’s ready to even fully tolerate me.”

Azriel let out a chuckle as his mate quipped “Tell me the story of the time she threw a shoe at you. It’s my favorite!”

“You cruel, lovely little thing.” Rhys laughed. “See you both for dinner.”

As Rhys exited them room, Y/N sighed. “You were awfully quiet.”

Az nudged her. “And that surprises you?”

“Okay, quieter than usual.”

Azriel pulled her in close, peppering kisses across her forehead. “I just don’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for. You are still healing and now you’ll be facing someone else that was under the mountain with you.”

“She saved us all, Az.” She looked up into his hazel eyes with nothing but genuine adoration. “Without her, I never would have met you. And what kind of existence would that be?”

She began picking at the plate Rhys had brought in. Letting out a moan as the flavors burst on her tongue.

Az couldn’t help the involuntary twitch of his wings at the sound.

She laughed. “Don’t get any ideas until I’m finished with my food.”

Azriel raised his palms. “I’d never get between my pregnant mate and her meal. With the way she’s started moving, she’d likely kick me away anyway.”

She took another bite while nonchalantly commenting, “I thought of a name for her.”

“Oh yeah?” Azriel’s brows raised in anticipation of a potential name for their child.

“Azure. The same blue as the skies. I thought…”

Azriel cut her off, marveling at the name. Whispering more to himself than her. “Blue like the Day Court skies, blue like the skies that I love to take you flying in.”

She flushed. “Yes, exactly. And though it’s a different shade of blue, like your siphons.”

A lone tear escaped his eye. “And,” she continued with a coy smile. “We could call her ‘Az’”

Azriel sat still for a moment. And she would have thought he didn’t like it had it not been the rush of pure shock and awe flowing through the bond.

Suddenly he took her face in his hands, barely giving her time to swallow the bite of bacon she’d just taken, and crashed his lips into hers. And after her lips were swollen and puffy from the heat of his lips, he began pressing kisses all over her belly, whispering between them, “I love you, little Az. I love you more than the skies I fly in. More than my own name. More than any dreamer could dream of being loved. I can’t wait to fly you through the open skies, and show you every shade of blue this beautiful world has to offer. Nothing in this world matters more than you and your mother. I couldn’t be more proud to be your father.”

And he meant it. Every single word. The blood running through the baby growing inside of his mate didn’t need to be his, what mattered was the love flowing within the child and he intended to pour every single ounce of love he had into their baby.

It was Y/N though who broke down at those words. She and Azriel had spent every free moment together since meeting. He’d healed her in ways that she never could have dreamed. Finding her mate changed the time after Under the Mountain from the lonesome trauma reckoning hellhole she’d anticipated and into a time of healing. He listened to her, understood her, let her set the pace in every aspect. And he’d shared his trauma with her, all of it.

The child who had been abused by a wicked stepmother and horrid step-brothers, overlooked by his own father had grown up to be loving, caring, and patient in every way. And now, he was going to be the parent of a child that was not his by conception, choosing to love the child just as he would his very own. A vow he’d sworn in their mating vows and sealed with a bargain.

“What is it, love?” Azriel wiped away her tears.

“Stupid hormones. I just love you so much and I need you to know that you are so much more than I ever could have dreamed of. If I had to, I would go through it all again as long as it led me to you.”

Azriel’s eyes began watering again. “Look at us, Y/N. We’re quite a sight. Whatever you say tonight, just don’t let Cassian know that I’ve gotten so soft.”

Her glassy eyes sparkled as she gave a sweet smile. “I have a feeling that softness has already been there, my love, I just had the privilege of coaxing it out of you.”

He smiled. “Truth Teller personified.”

————————-

“We’re heading up now.” Rhys’ voice cut into Y/N’s mind.

“Are you sure about this, Rhys? Most of them do not know what all happened under the mountain. What if it’s too much for Feyre to take in?”

“She’s my mate, I have to hope that she will love and accept us all in time. It may be a lot to meet us and hear our stories but they’re a part of us, a part of loving us. I’m worried about Cassian scaring her off more than anything.”

“Valid concern. See you soon. Despite the circumstances, I’m so happy she’s here.”

“You know,” Rhys chuckled. “I feel the same way about you, Starshine.”

“You flatter me. Now enjoy your flight with the literal girl of your dreams.”

“She’s glaring daggers at me right now. Pray I make it there alive.”

“Where’d you go?” Az nudged.

Leaning into her mate’s side, embracing the warmth of his arms wrapped around her shoulders she replied, “Rhys and Feyre are on the way.”

“Are you ready for this?” He asked.

“I’m sure you can already feel my nerves down the bond but I appreciate you for asking.” She teased.

Azriel kept his pace slow as they wound through the hallways of the House of Wind toward the dining table. “If you’re not ready…”

She took a steadying breath. “No, he needs to get off on a solid foundation with her. And Cassian, Mor, and Amren have eyed us for a while, they realize that something is off. Plus, I mean, look at this thing.” Her delicate hands found her stomach. “They’re going to figure out that the timelines don’t match up soon enough.”

“Our girl IS growing.” Azriel spoke, not missing the opportunity to feel the life growing within his mate.

She teased, “You’ve referred to the babe as “her” a few times now. Coming around to the idea?”

“I know better than to go against your intuition.”

With that, Y/N gave a wicked grin. “Mother knows best.”

As they approached the dining room, Azriel pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be right by your side.”

She beamed. “And I’ll be by yours too, with whatever you may share tonight…and forever, of course.”

As everyone arrived and gathered at the dining table, Y/N couldn’t help but admire how lovely Feyre and Rhys were together. Though she hated the situation that brought her there, that Tamlin tried to hoard her away in his manor, she couldn’t help but feel joy knowing that she was finally beginning to see the true Rhysand.

The Inner Circle kept up with the typical antics and plenty of laughter filled the space, but the conversation eventually turned more serious as everyone took turns giving Feyre insight into themselves.

Feyre looked to Y/N with curiosity. “You were under the mountain, but Azriel was not?”

Her hands shook as she prepared to share. A warmth covered them as Azriel gave a gentle squeeze, sending waves of that reassurance in abundance. She took a breath.

She began by sharing the background of her family, their deaths, that she’d sold her body to survive afterward, how she’d only been under the mountain for a year before Feyre arrived.

“You didn’t know Azriel before they took you?” Feyre asked. Not harshly, just inquisitively.

Y/N held her head high. Her story was not one to be ashamed of.

“I did not. Rhys was one of the only souls to show me kindness under the mountain. I have nymph ancestry with primarily High Fae features. Amarantha took an interest in me and….”

An unreadable expression covered Rhys’ face. This was his trauma too, but he gave a reassuring nod.

“She began taking me to her chambers. I had no choice. It was warm her bed, or face physical torture until death.”

Feyre flinched along with Rhys. Y/N recognized that they were remembering the human girl Amarantha had tortured to death just before Feyre’s arrival.

“She also, against our hopes, realized that Rhysand and I had an understanding of eachother - serve her or die. Being the lust-driven wretch that she was, she began taking us both to her chambers. There was no room for weakness in there. She wanted us just weak enough to submit to her, but we had to remain strong in every other aspect. The first time she had Rhys and I, together,” she cleared her throat, giving pause before continuing, “Rhys saved me. I began to crack, and he held my mind. I will let Rhys speak on his own trauma and the mental load he carried, but he didn’t hesitate to help me get through it. It was not the last time he had to help me through it.”

The table was completely silent. Heart-wrenching expressions filled each face at the table. Palpable rage could be felt radiating off of Amren, though her face remained straight.

Her voice began cracking. Azriel pulled her close into him. “When you saved us,” She looked to Feyre. “I don’t mean to fawn or gawk over you, but Feyre, you did save us.” Feyre gave an empathetic look, nodding to Y/N to continue. “Rhys brought me back to Velaris because he couldn’t bear for me to return to the life I was living, because this Court of Dreams is made up of individuals who have lived through terrible traumas and, despite every reason to lead bitter lives- have chosen to dream of a better world. To fight for a better world. And he knew a certain Shadowsinger and I would get on quite well. In fact, he’s been a smug bastard ever since over just how well things went between us.”

“When I met him.” She stared lovingly to Azriel who swallowed a lump in his throat. “The bond snapped between us immediately. The same day I was brought here, I met my mate.”

Instinctively she placed her hands on the swell of her abdomen. “Rhys gave Azriel leave to spend time with me, for him to help me through the aftermath of what I’d been through…”

“But two weeks after arriving back, my scent began to shift.” Mor’s brows furrowed in contemplation.

“I became very sick shortly after that. Rhys called in a healer, Madja, who confirmed that I was two and a half months pregnant.”

Cassian audibly gasped and Mor murmured “Oh my gods.”

Azriel kept his composure for the sake of his mate, but this was killing him. His brother and his mate being forced by that fucking witch. “Azriel is not the biological father of this baby. The child was conceived under the forced coupling of Rhysand and I by Amarantha.”

Feyre’s face was a mix of sadness, and rage, and sympathy.

“There were options to terminate the pregnancy. However, due to my Nymph ancestry, such options can have negative, potentially deadly effects. Aside from that, though I never planned to have a child - I couldn’t bear the thought of losing another family member. Rhys, after losing his family, felt the same, which he only expressed after I shared my feelings with him. He was completely supportive of any decision I made.” Feyre looked to Rhys and then back to Y/N, no negative judgement written on those lovely features.

Y/N looked to Azriel with a loving grin “And Azriel- he took me to a priestess that night. We both wanted to accept the bond from the moment we met, the connection was unbelievably strong, I never believed in the power of the bond until I found him. And now because he’s ever the romantic, though I see him already blushing at the mention of it, he wanted to make a vow before the Mother - a vow to love me no matter what choice I made, a vow to love the life within me as his very own child, to love and cherish us both until his last breath.”

She pulled the sleeve off of her shoulder, revealing the intricate tattoo solidifying his vow.

“And Rhys,” She gave a soft smile. “He made a bargain to love and care for this child and to recognize Azriel as its father. We will not hide the parentage from our child. And Rhys, I know, already loves them dearly, but mine and Azriel’s decisions for our baby come first and will be respected as any biological parents would.”

She’d left out the part where Azriel had gone under the mountain to investigate later on and found that Amarantha had begun supplying a fertility tonic instead of birth control to Y/N after the Calanmai that Rhys had gone to the Spring Court and seen Feyre. Though she didn’t know who Rhys saw, she likely suspected he’d developed interest in someone else and become jealous, hoping an accidental pregnancy would either create a rift in any potential relationship or, even worse, that the baby could be used as leverage against him.

The table remained silent until Rhys chimed in. “So my brother is my child’s father. I’m sure stranger things have happened.”

Despite that sadness the Inner Circle felt, Rhysand’s comment elicited smiles. Azriel gave his brother a nod of thanks for breaking the tension while affectionately caressing his mate.

Mor eased the tension further by chiming in “Y/N! You are further along than we realized which means….. we get to go shopping for our newest family member sooner!!!”

Feyre decided soon after that she would like to work with the Court of Dreams.

————————-

Epilogue

Because his mate was always right, Azriel was indeed the father of a beautiful little girl, clever and stubborn like her mother, and the light of his life. Her mother the sun, and she the moon.

He and Rhys had just returned from taking “Baby Azzie” who was now a toddler to get pastries along the Sidra. Azriel returned with his half-asleep daughter in his arms, who perked up upon seeing her baby brother cooing in his bassinet. “Nyxie!!” She yelled, hurrying over to the winged babe. Rhys, however, arrived with numerous shopping bags in his own arms.

Feyre, who had been lounging with her head on Y/N’s shoulder gave the two a big smile. Y/N raised an eyebrow. “All of that better be for Nyx.”

Azriel and Rhys shared a laugh before Rhys spoke. “Well, half of it is, but only because someone batted her little lashes at us repeating ‘Brother, present. Brother, present’ until we took her into what is conveniently her favorite toy store.” Az cut in, “And because my brother is getting soft in his old age” before Rhys could remind Azriel that he was, in fact, the older of the two, Az continued, “Rhys had to buy something for her for every item she picked out for Nyx.”

Y/N groaned. “Cassian literally just bought her five new toys and six new outfits on their last outing.”

The raven-haired toddler with her mother’s nose and radiant skin, Rhys’ smile, and by some gift of the Mother - had Azriel’s golden-flecked hazel eyes, toddled up to Feyre, giving her a big hug. She then turned to her mother, leaning in to whisper something, that came out as quietly as a yell. “I got something for sissy too. Daddy has it in the pocket realm.”

Y/N’s face flushed as Rhys and Feyre gaped. “So much for keeping that a secret for a little longer.”

Feyre squealed leaning in and throwing her arms around Y/N. “I thought that maybe I was getting allergies, your scent hasn’t been as strong but you were glamouring it!”

Rhys pulled Azriel into a long hug, then walked over to Y/N with a wide smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Azriel placed a hand on his chest as he took in the sight of his blended family. It wasn’t what he’d ever expected but, to him, it was everything.

#feyre #rhysand #azriel x pregnant mate #Azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel one shot #angst #sarah j maas #READ THE WARNINGS PLEASE #feysand #under the mountain #amarantha #acotar angst #acotar x reader #acotar #a court of thorns and roses

2K notes · View notes

fixyourwritinghabits · 11 months ago

Text

How to Handle Critique

I’ve got to admit, I wish I was one of those beatific saints that could take critique with a grateful smile. Instead, I am constantly suppressing a horrible little gremlin at the back of my head hissing at anything from legit plot critiques to grammar corrections. I’m well aware I used that comma wrong, GOD.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very good at suppressing that gremlin, but the little bastard is still there. He exists because even though your brain knows critique can help, it also knows you worked damn hard on the thing being critiqued, and goddamnit, isn’t that enough???

Anyway, here are some tips on getting that gremlin to shut the hell up.

It is okay to be upset. You worked really hard on this thing, and now someone’s gone and pointed out all the things that suck about it. You cannot control how you feel about one thing or another, but you can allow yourself to feel that way and let it pass through you. Let your critique partner you’re taking time to reflect on it, and go for a walk. Do something else. Let those feelings pass through you before you get back to the page.

Give yourself time. Don’t feel like you need to correct things right away (unless they are minimal grammar tweaks). Some pieces of feedback might take awhile to sink in, especially when you’ve got a whole novel to wrestle through. Set it aside, think about something else for a week or so, and get back to it when you’ve reset.

Get a second opinion and/or ducky friend. It can be very hard to tell the difference between good and bad feedback sometimes. Someone who means very well could give feedback that just doesn’t work for you, and someone who doesn’t give two shits could have spotted that fatal flaw right away. You can bring in a real third party or just make use of the old rubber duck technique, where you talk through the issue with a friend or a Naruto poster telling you to Believe it. Working it out out-loud is a really effective technique to figure out what needs fixing and what doesn’t.

Guide critique-givers toward the feedback you want. I, a person who prefers straightforward fantasy and sci-fi, cannot give the fine-tooth points on how a romance novel should work. However, I can give feedback on what works for me and what doesn’t story-wise. Giving your beta reader or critique partner a list of questions to look for will help avoid vague feedback based on how they don’t like the genre. There are many ways to do this, but consider using the following as a base to tailor your own questions:

Did you get a good sense of the setting? Did the worldbuilding make sense to you?

Was this story clear? Where there any parts that seemed confusing?

What characters did you like and why? What characters didn’t you like?

Did any parts of the story feel slow or repetitive?

Did the beginning draw you in? Did the middle keep you engaged? Did the ending feel satisfying?

If you were to write [insert plot point here], what would you do differently?

Again, all of the above questions are up for debate depending on your goal, but we are rarely taught how to give good feedback, and a guided feedback session would work better for you than a free-for-all.

Figure out what kind of advice doesn’t work for you. It is really hard to give good feedback sometimes, even with guided questions. It can also be really hard to figure out why some feedback doesn’t click with you, and that’s a matter of digging deep to figure out what you really want. You may lean toward characters who are horrible fuck-ups, but your partner prefers more steady characters who always strive to do the right thing. Your characters, therefore, may never click with this person, no matter how much they want to help you. And that’s okay! Figuring out where your critique partner is coming from can help you figure out what parts of their feedback isn’t working for you. Sometimes the only thing you can do is thank them and move on, but you might also want to guide them to focus more on the plot or the worldbuilding when looking at your work.

And last, don’t focus on grammar. It’s great if they point that out, but if you end up changing everything, trying to fix that first is a waste of your time. Grammar tweaks last, plot points first.

And, I dunno, give yourself a treat to get that horrible little mind gremlin something else to focus on. Sometimes patting those bad feelings on the head and sending them away can help way more than ignoring them.

#writing feedback #writing advice #telling yourself this feels bad and I don't like it is okay!#even if you asked for that advice it can still hurt!#just let it pass and you'll be okay

461 notes · View notes

weirdsht · 2 months ago

Note

Hi, can i request a fanfic of cale with a reader who used to be a popular kpop idol like aespa before she transmigrated?

Shining Star - LoTCF & Reader

a/n: pls be proud of me I managed to resist the urge to make it super angtsy (because we would've been here for +5 more pages) also I couldn't help but take the chance to do a Debut or Die inspired fic after seeing the req lol

tags: Cale/Reader, romance but it's subtle, there's an entire romantic subplot going on if you squint, trust me guys there's romance huhu idol! reader, reader's gender is not specified, open ending

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Requests are open and welcome

Navigation Masterlist

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! GO TO RAIN CITY OR DIE]

[You will die in a year unless you get to Rain City in time]

The first time you saw the translucent, floating blue screen in front of you, you almost screamed bloody murder. Why was this happening to you? Sure, you read trashy transmigration and system novels in your spare time, but you never asked to be in one.

You were happy being an idol thank you very much.

Sure it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Fainting before and after performances, losing sleep, fighting with your groupmates, taking jobs you don’t really want to do, having to say things for PR purposes, losing friends and family, dealing with stalkers, and so many more things. Those things were not fun in the slightest. In fact, you find yourself questioning your life in the shower more times than you can count.

But still, it was a life you chose for yourself.

Performing in front of a crowd, writing songs, producing beats, hearing your fans’ heartfelt admiration, and seeing little kids look up to you as their role model.

You reveled in those, strived to do better day by day because of those reasons.

Now though everything is ripped away from you. Thrown away in the sand and washed away by the waves as if such life never happened.

Now the only thing waiting for you is this stupid status window and a world that isn’t even based on the last novel you read.

So much for cliches right?

Having no choice left you strive to complete the mission. Gathered information about the world you are in and how you should navigate your way to Rain City.

And wouldn’t you know it… you’re a continent away from the goddamn destination.

Not only that but said city is also hard to travel to once you get to the Roan Kingdom.

Still, you persisted. If there’s anything you’re good at it’s persevering through the toughest of circumstances.

You wouldn’t be an established idol if you weren’t.

And so after months of travelling, you set foot in Rain City.

Well… describing it as just months of travelling is a great understatement. You desperately wish you just hopped on a boat and waiting the days to go by then suddenly you’re in Roan Kingdom.

No, no, it couldn’t be like that. That would be too boring.

First, you had to figure out where to get the money to travel. Being an idol helped with this one because, although it may be a fantasy world, your money-making skills still come in handy.

Then once you had some decent money it was either making a fake identity or skirting around the law to the best of your abilities. You may have experienced many side gigs as an idol but being a felon isn’t one of them, so a fake identity it is.

Don’t even mention the danger in your travels. If you’re not trying to run away from thugs you’re sneaking around so you don’t get caught up in the brewing war.

And these things don’t even begin to cover the surface of your odyssey.

However, it doesn’t matter because now you’re in Rain City and so finally you can get rid of this stupid status abnormality.

…right?

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! ENTER THE HENITUSE HOUSE OR DIE]

Yeah, tough luck…

One mission after the last. The cycle goes on…

And on

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! GAIN CALE HENITUSE’S TRUST OR DIE]

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! ACQUIRE AN ANCIENT POWER OR DIE]

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! GAIN RON MOLAN’S TRUST OR DIE]

You can't see the end of it. No matter what you do it's as if they never end.

If you were the you before you would've ignored it.

If you were the you before you probably would have given up.

You may be one tough cookie but everyone has their limits, right?

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! PROTECT THE PLAZA OR DIE]

If it was you before you would've grown tired by now.

So why haven't you?

Why do you still push yourself? Play tag with death as if you're immortal.

It's comedic in a way. Pushing yourself to death to complete a mission whose main reward is not getting instant death.

So why do you?

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! BALANCE CALE’S PLATE OR DIE]

Him

He's the reason why.

The reason why you push yourself.

The person who motivated you time and time again. Despite the irony of him not wanting to do anything, he motivates you to do what you can. Push beyond your limits to help those in need.

And the reason?

Simple

It's because you love him.

You love what he stands for.

And so you continue to do your best to help him achieve his goals.

It doesn't matter how many missions this stupid system throws your way. As long as it doesn't hinder your goals — Cale’s goals — you're willing to complete it.

Anything to stay by your beloved’s side.

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! WIN THE WAR OR DIE]

And so you push

And push

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! GAIN A GOD’S BLESSING OR DIE]

Be it coughing blood or fainting for a week, you continue to get up.

Until you couldn't anymore.

Until you are forced to a dead end.

Not because the task is impossible. Not because you don't have the means to complete it.

Quite the opposite actually. All it takes is asking your beloved a simple question and it will be completed.

You already know he's more than just the man he presents himself to be. You're not an idiot to believe that suddenly one day the drunkard noble son has sobered up and gathered his wits.

Still, you ignored it. Acted unaware of the most blatant signs of lying.

Because if he is what you think he is then you know how hurtful it would be for the people around him.

What would be his family's reaction? Ron? Beacrox? All the people who thought he was still the same Cale they've known through the years.

You wouldn't want such fallout to happen.

You wouldn't dare tear apart the meaningful bonds your beloved had built with these wonderful people.

[STATUS ABNORMALITY! SHARE CALE HENITUSE'S REAL IDENTITY WITH AT LEAST ONE PERSON OR DIE]

[Complete these missions or die:

2. Share this identity with at least one other person.]

1. Uncover Cale Henituse's real identity

And so this mission has become your dead end.

For you would rather die than dim Cale Henituse’s light.

[MISSION TIME REMAINING: 128 days 18:36:03]

[MISSION TIME REMAINING: 128 days 18:36:02]

[MISSION TIME REMAINING: 128 days 18:36:01]

[MISSION TIME REMAINING: 128 days 18:36:00]

[MISSION TIME REMAINING: 128 days 18:35:59]

Just a small fun fact: the days remaining is KRS' (and CJS') bday. Meanwhile, the time remaining is Cale and KRS' age when the transmigration happen.

#trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #tcf #lcf #cale henituse #lotcf #totcf #tcf x reader #le asks #cale x reader #cale henituse x reader #x reader

100 notes · View notes

cosmerelists · 8 months ago

Text

If Other Stormlight Characters Served as the King's Wit

As requested by anon. :)

"The King's Wit" is there to insult people in the king's stead. In this role, Hoid basically gets to stand at the entrance to feasts and make fun of people. It's a good gig for him. But what if other characters had this job?

1. The Stormfather

Stormfather (rumbling with displeasure): You have broken an oath today. Stormfather: You promised your son that you would play "Shattered Plains" with him this afternoon, but you did not. Stormfather: Though you feast for today, my storm winds shall one day scatter your dishonored bones. Elhokar (visibly sweating): Ha ha my new Wit sure is, ah, intense!

2. Kaladin

Kaladin: Ew. Another Lighteyes... Kaladin: Sniff, sniff! Smells like the exploitation of the powerless in here! Kaladin: I can name a dozen men better than you and guess what--they're ALL darkeyed. Kaladin: Nice outfit--did it come free with your ancestral privilege? Elhokar (muttering to himself): I will not put him in jail again, I will not put him in jail again, I will not...

3. Shallan

Shallan: [sketching] Hapless Lighteyed guest: Is that...me? Shallan: It is! [shows Ideal Self portrait--it's the same person, only their sadness and distrust is gone and they shine with an earnest and honest light, looking out toward their future] Hapless Lighteyed Guest (visibly tearing up): I...It's beautiful. Shallan: Please, go ahead & take it! Elhokar: Shallan-Wit, why is everyone at my feast introspective and crying? Shallan: I'm really good at art.

4. Adolin

Adolin: Wow! You are so brave to put those colors together, and in a style from two years ago ago! Adolin: You are almost pulling it off.

5. Dalinar

Dalinar: Hello. I could not help but overhear your heated argument, my friends. Dalinar: It reminds me of a tale from the Way of Kings, which I will now quote from memory... Dalinar: ... Dalinar: Aaaaand, they fled. Dalinar: That's the third time that's happened this evening.

6. Ialai

Ialai: [hands hapless lighteyed guest a folded-up sheet of paper] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-Where did you get this information about me? And my husband? And my...former boyfriend's sister's cousin? Ialai: [merely smiles] Hapless Lighteyed Guest: W-What do you want? Please! I'll do anything! Ialai: Why...nothing at all. Yet. Please enjoy the feast.

7. Lift

Lift: Mmmm....4. Lift: A solid 6! Lift: Perhaps a 5, but ONLY because of those pants. Lift: Wow! An 8! Wyndle: P-Please mistress, I don't think the job of the King's Wit is to rank the butts of all attendees! Lift: They need to know.

8. Jasnah

Hapless Lighteyed Guest: Ugh, I don't think it's right for the king to employ a heretic as his Wit! Jasnah: It's strange--one might think that your faith in the Almighty would inspire you to strive to be a good man, yet in reality your mother weeps each and every night to have produced a son who loves drinking and gambling more than he loves his children, his wife, or indeed the Almighty. Jasnah: Should you wish to inspire faith in others, perhaps you should try to demonstrate even the smallest reason why yours has produced an iota of good for anyone in this world aside from yourself. Elhokar (across the room, watching): I...am afraid.

9. Lopen

Lopen: Hey, I know you! I got a cousin in your army! Lopen: He always laughs 'bout how weird it is that your officers make the men pay for their own boots 'n' stuff 'cause it's an army not a charity, right? But then your officer son gets an allowance which is funny 'cause that kinda seems like the 'charity' thing that an army isn't! Lopen: We Herdazians tend to use a word to mean a thing, yeah? But you Alethi sure like to make a word mean whatever it is you want!

10. Szeth & Nightblood

Nightblood: Evil. Evil. Evil. Definitely evil. Big evil! Little evil, but still evil. Szeth: You've identified every guest so far as evil, sword-nimi. Nightbood: Yeah, I'm so good at detecting evil! So when does the slaying start? Szeth: I told you. I don't murder entire parties anymore. That is my past, but it does not have to be my future. Nightblood: But you're the King's Wit! You got wit-tle down the evil, right? Szeth: That is not what that means, sword-nimi. Nightblood: ... Szeth: ... Nightblood: People sure do speed up when they have to walk past us, huh? Szeth: I am pretty sure that means we're doing a good job.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Stormfather #Kaladin #Shallan #Adolin #Jasnah #Lopen #Nightblood #Szeth #Lift #Ialai #Dalinar

262 notes · View notes

susitseart · 1 month ago

Text

Our Heart.

Made of us.

Together, it’s whole. And so are we.

Separated, it’s broken. And we are nothing.

Only love can form this heart. A love that can exist in many forms for us. As platonic or romantic. As lighter or deeper.

But maybe we’re talking about true love, when the soul of another touches our soul. When our soul touches the soul of another.

This mutual touch implies unconditional understanding and acceptance. A sense of affection and belonging. A shared wish that this lonely world wouldn’t be so lonely for us anymore.

And when our souls accept each other as their own, something wondrous happens.

The other becomes our counterpart. Another side of ourselves.

Vital to us. Or so we are willing to swear. For one’s bliss is our bliss, and one’s pain is our pain.

It makes us whole. Makes our heart whole. When we are together with the one we love.

But once a heart is formed, it can also get broken.

The halves of the heart can grow apart. The halves of the heart can betray each other. The halves of the heart can realize that this heart should never have existed.

When one half of the heart hurts the other, the heart becomes cracked.

When the heart becomes cracked enough, it breaks.

And then there’s heart no more.

That’s when our soul also detaches from the other’s soul. It can hurt us deeply. Even somehow permanently.

It may be the worst pain we ever feel.

But sometimes it can be good. Sometimes growing apart or being torn apart is good. It’s good, if we need it. If sharing a common heart with another has become toxic for us.

It’s true that when this happens, we drift back into lonely darkness. It’s true that maybe the fear of the dark has held our broken, toxic hearts together for too long.

But after all, we are lucky. Lucky because nothing in our lifetime is final. Not even the darkness or pain.

Everything is temporary. We as well.

That is why we are lucky if we love, or ever have been able to love.

It may be the most wondrous thing we can ever experience.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Is your heart whole or broken?

- - - - - - - - - - -

Right now, my heart is whole. Maybe a little cracked here and there, because many years have passed. But whole and strong nonetheless.�

Love means a lot to me. The fact that my soul can and is able to connect with someone else's soul feels more than I dared to hope for in this lonely world. Almost like a privilege. Because so many are alone in this world.

Love is like a blessing and a curse. I know it's not for everyone, and it doesn't have to be.

The main thing is that each of us strives to be as happy as possible in our own way.

That's why I hope that all those who long for love in this lonely world will eventually find someone to share their soul with and form a common heart with.

Also. A few more thoughts on a broken heart.�

If my heart, our heart, was torn in two for some reason, I would be scared. Of course I would, after so many years. I would be lost and desperate for a long time.

But while writing this story, I realized that despite the pain, I might make it. Eventually.

Even though my heart is strong and whole right now, it feels comforting to know that even the worst wouldn't be the end of the world. It wouldn't be. Because few things are the actual end of the world, even if it often feels like it.

We will make it. Because we are often stronger than we can imagine.

We'll be fine. Whether our hearts are whole, in danger of breaking, or broken.

Happy Valentine's Day friends ❤ I wanted to post these little Patreon illustrations for you as a gift today. It's a privilege to have you here with me. More times than you know, you have taken away my loneliness and given my life a purpose. And for that I am very grateful.

I hope that this and each day has been great for you 🐺💜

#valentines day #love #heart #happy valentine's day #wolf art #dark art #mental health awareness #relationship #emotional

83 notes · View notes

goldsbitch · 11 months ago

Text

Right? p8

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

epilogue - Lando's POV

summary: Y/N is a photographer for McLaren F1 team. Hard working, goal oriented professional who would never put her career in jeopardy for some stupid crush, right?

Challenge me. Make me question my past actions. Hold me on the edge, while we risk it all.

Watch me watch you walk around the paddock, as if there wasn't a bright red love bite underneath your turtleneck. One that only I know about and plan on refreshing. Knowing you have to cover those up makes me ecstatic, because I have seen you smile like a teenager while doing so.

We're our little secret, for now. It will come out eventually and we'll enter a new chapter. But for today, let me have our classified, not so modest photoshoots. Let me sneak around just to give you a little peck on the cheek. Walk just a little close to me so that our hands brush, ever so "accidentally".

The way how you're so good at passing me by, as if you hadn't woken up next to me. Like I have no idea about your birthmark little too low on your lower back. The one I'd touched in a way colleagues should not.

And I know you're having to fight smiling a little too obviously during our team meetings. Because I have to admit, sometimes I have to hide my smirk behind a coffee cup or a cough. I wonder if people noticed that you don't take official photos of me anymore.

I'm good at running around with a camera, but I think I was born to be your muse. To let you capture me in the way only lovers can. Energy and desire creeping through every frame. I trust you deeply that you won't sell my secrets - and I know you have to trust me too. Allow me to play an all-or-nothing game, while being ultimately raw with you.

I sometimes can't help my mouth from smiling at random times throughout the day, just knowing that we managed to play this game so effortlessly. Once I got you on board, it turned out you're quite good at this. I guess it's making you irresistible even more.

I think hiding it from everyone is working in our favor. Once the fan hurricane hits when the reveal day comes, we will have already spent many days of freedom. It won't be a va banque taken with a stranger. A companion, lover, muse and the capturer. I should not be looking forward to causing a scandal, right? But I do. Turns out I am bad at stopping myself when it comes to you.

I've already sunk so deep, so much at your mercy, I am unable to untangle myself. Please, promise you mean it when you said "I love you" so shyly the other night. It took me some time to admit that I do. But with you being so slick and smart, you must have already known. You're someone who does not like to be brave about this. You wouldn't have said it if deep down you were not sure about my response. And that's ok. You're the smart one, I'm the brave one. A perfect combination.

One day, you'll have to take a big risk with me. When you've finally moved on from McLaren photos and get yourself in fashion photography as you always wanted anyway. You'll have to get out of your shell and I am so here for it. But for now, we have our little secret life to enjoy.

There will come a day when we'll replace the thrill of a private affair with a strive for something serious. If it had been only my decision, I would have already shouted to the world that you are mine. Make your love bites visible and trackable to me. One day, we won't have to worry about hotel room walls being too thin. But I want you ready for the price that comes with my public company.

I'll drive us fast, maybe even recklessly, and you'll make sure we have something to remember it by.

_______________________

@i-wish-this-was-me @lqvesoph @ophcelia @noneofyourfbusinessworld @formulaal @chezmardybum @amberpanda99 @4-mula1

Short, but a proper goodbye to my first story. Thank you all for the support! Love you all.

#lando norris #lando norris x y/n #f1 smut #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #ln4 imagine #formula 1 #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #lando norris angst #mclaren #lando norris fanfic #smut #ln4 smut #lando norris fluff

224 notes · View notes

reiyldx · 10 months ago

Text

The Tempest

William James Moriarty x Reader

"Then all afire with me: the king's son, Ferdinand, with hair up-staring, ーthen like reeds, not hair,ーwas the first man that leap'd; cried, 'Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.'" William leant back in his armchair, scarlet eye blinking beneath his beautiful blond eyelashes as he gazed into empty space. Over his other eye was a dark black eyepatch.

You simply hummed as you looked into the book you held, of Shakespeare's plays. You remembered only so many quotes from it. William had no need for a book, he could recite all 40 of Shakespeare's plays from memory. Him reciting thus to you helped you get through the book quickly and in a more joyous way. Hearing your husband speak was something that gave you much mirth, especially when you were both seated across each other in comfortable armchairs in front of the fireplace in the midst of a dreary winter in your small home at Brighton.

"I feel bad for Ariel." you commented. "Has to do his master's bidding."

William chuckled softly and dryly on hearing your words. "I doubt Ariel is completely blameless." he uttered as he propped one leg over the other. William had a most adorable and polite way of seating himself, it never failed to make you swoon and want to wrap him in a hug.

"Thats true." you replied, closing your book, yawning.

"Are you tired? We may stop here for today if that is your wish." William smiled, his scarlet gaze homing in on yours.

"That would be much appreciated." you smiled at him, noting the soft expression he held. William had always had a solemn, distant expression before, so seeing him thus softened brought a sort of happiness to your heart. "Sherlock didn't barge in tonight. Odd, considering he does so every single night taking every advantage of the fact he lives next door." you sighed.

William chuckled heartily. "I would have appreciated had Sherly shown himself. I do have a few things that I need to talk to him about." he hummed softly, his voice as soft and lovely as ever, decorated with his signature British accent.

"We should get to bed, Liam." you placed your hand on the man's arm, rubbing it gently. "You have an early day tomorrow."

"Indeed." William nodded gently, his scarlet eye reminiscient of either the beauty of sunsets or the glistening crimson of blood freshly smeared on the sharpened tip of a blade. "Were I but wretched, my love." he sighed, placing his hand on your cheek. "It pains me to see your attentions gone to work on so odious a man as myself, on such vulgar a connexion, as has hardly been since the notion of the propriety of society, and that of the worth of life, came into being." his tone was soft, his eyes sorrowful, such a broken man he was, yet so beautiful.

"William..." you could hardly place your words right, you had little idea of what to say, and you wished for him to finish his thought as well.

"For years have my actions led me, in desperation for a result, caused me to sin twice and twice again." William uttered, his expression hardening. "For years, have these palms been seeped through with a scarlet as irremovable as the stains of ink on a canvas pure white, untainted; marred with blotches so painfully obvious as would most likely repulse any whose misfortune beget them gaze upon it, and scruple through its length and width desperately so as to propagate the assemblage of a search of true purpose, true affability, even a sense of alacrity within but finding nothing."

You gently tugged at William's eyepatch, an action that caused him to flinch before he tried to relax ultimately under your observance. You removed it carefully, revealing a scar that marred his skin, and a discoloured eye that could see no longer. You gently kissed the scar, your hand resting on William's cheek. "There's nothing ill can dwell in such a temple: If the ill spirit have so fair a house, good things will strive to dwell with't." you spoke softly. Lines from the Tempest, offered to Ferdinand by Miranda.

William's gaze immediately softened, his heart warm and full, recognizing the lines the moment they slipped past your mouth. He pulled you closer by the waist, a gentle, small smile tugging at his lips. "You render me speechless, you render me most powerless and above all, a fool to your whims." he kissed your lips gently. "Oh sweet, fair Miranda of mine." he brought you down onto his lap, kissing your neck. "My darling mistress."

#william james moriarty #william james moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot x reader #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #yukoku no moriarty

173 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months ago

Note

WIBTA for pursuing cosmetic surgery against my husband’s wishes?

I have been quite insecure my entire life. From what others tell me, I’m decently pretty, but I put a lot of time and energy into my appearance every day only to be disappointed and embarrassed with the results. I figure that with only minor adjustments, I could save a lot of time and happiness.

I told my husband about it, and he was immediately concerned. He said he loved my face, and he would miss “the real me” even if it was only a little change. He thinks I’m letting my insecurities get the best of me and I’d never be happy again. But having already tried and failed to reduce these feelings for years, it seems more effective to try surgery. I’ve done my research and wouldn’t go to some quack.

Here’s where the problem is: my husband makes significantly more than me, I don’t have much in my own savings so far and we’re still building our wealth. He says I absolutely cannot take from our shared funds to pay for it, even though we could spare it and according to our agreement it’s my money too. He says he can veto that because he contributes more and he thinks it would harm me. I got upset, snapped that it’s not the fifties and I should have a choice in my own life, and went to bed. We are still cooling off right now.

I think I shouldn’t have said that and I don’t think he was in the wrong necessarily. He has my best interests at heart but I don’t think he understands how much time I’ve lost feeling miserable about how I look. We normally strive to agree especially on matters of money, but he was the most adamant he’s ever been, so I don’t think he’ll budge. I think I have a right to spend on myself sometimes, and he should be willing to let some money go for my happiness. I don’t want to cause distrust between us over money, but I want this so badly.

So, WIBTA for using our money for cosmetic surgery even if my husband doesn’t agree?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

197 notes · View notes

caitchercatlady · 5 months ago

Text

The Promise of Forever

-2nd Year Version

Inspiration song: Thinking Out Loud-Ed Sheeran

Riddle Rosehearts

"(Y/N), these six months...nay, eight months I've been away from you have been utter torment. Yes, even with the "Adeuce vacation perks." Nevertheless, I've thought long about how and who I would spend the rest of my life. I thought I would have the scripted words for this night. The truth is...I lost them. Because those words I made were for myself and any person. You are not any person, (Y/N). You are the teapot to my mouse. You are the paint that makes the roses of this garden shine red as strawberry jam. Most importantly of all, you are my one and true Queen. There is no other individual in all of Twisted Wonderland whom I could ever fallen in love so hard. I will not waste another moment wondering. I must ask now. (Y/N), will you marry me?"

Ruggie Bucchi

"Look at this sunset. Isn't this view everything you always wanted? It took a little work, but we made it. (Snicker) Yes, we. No one person can make this happen by themselves. Hey, I"m still working on it. A dream business isn't built in a day...by oneself. Well, uh...I've been thinking...no, I've been wishing this for a long time. I made up my mind years ago. I'm sorry it took me so long. I wanted to make sure the ring was pefect. You deserve only the best and nothing less. Now, I don't knonw if I'm the best for everything, but I know this much: I love you, and you are my perfect half. Will you marry me, (Y/N)?"

Azul Ashengrotto

"(Chuckles) No, I didn't invite you here just to shower you with food and presents. I do that whenever you want. Yes, always. Well, about that...I've been drafting what may be the biggest of my life's work. (Y/N), you've played a bigger role in my life than anyone could ever imagine. For so long, I've hid behind strong gates, locked doors, and tall walls. You managed to break down every single one effortlessly, and much to my own surprise, I can't be mad about that. I've needed a wake-up call, and while it was hard to look at myself i the mirror, with you in it, it becomes easier everyday. You were the sun I've been striving to reach for all my life, (Y/N). Without you, my days will only become dark. My sunlight, my pearl, my angel fish. Will you take this ring and become my partner...forever and always?"

Jade Leech

"How could you not be more stunning than the moon? If I always tell you something, it means I mean it. And I will continue to remind you of it. For how long? As long as you'll have me. What do I mean with this ring? I was hoping you'd know. (Chuckles) I'm jesting, (Y/N). I've spent many moonlit nights, working for this day. From the moment I saw your peak wit, I knew there was only one individual in this world who would fit the missing puzzle spot. May I have your wit forever, (Y/N)? We can be married by tomorrow if you so wish."

Floyd Leech

"Found ya, Shrimpy! Do I need you for anything? Nah. But I want ya. (Laughter) You're so straight-to-the-obvious. Of course, we've been dating for three years. I don't forget things like that. I mean, I want you forever, silly. Prove it? Ok then. My ma said that you'll fall head over fins for this. Yeah, it's pretty, but not like you. I'll let ya wear it if you say, "Yes.""

Kalim al Asim

"You made it! All of this? It's for you! Yeah, it's also for me. It's for us to enjoy. What's the occasion? I love you. That's the occasion. Of course, I love you every day, but this night is very special. (Laugh) I don't love you more tonight...What I meant is I already love you forever i teh biggest way possible. Tonight, I wanna prove I'll love you forever. How will I do that? With this! I picked it myself. My dad gave Mom a lot of rings to show how much he loves her. She let me look at her collection and pick a ring for you. I chose this one because it reminds me of the day I fell in love with you. Ever since that day, my love for you hasn't changed, and it never will. Please, (Y/N), please, please, please marry me!"

Jamil Viper

"Good evening. The moon is quite bright, isn't it? It reminds me of your smile. Yes, there was a reason I wanted to see you here. I've been wondering how to begin. You have me at a loss for words during every important moment, and when I wonder why, I believe the answer is that you resemble the unexpected. I thought my life had been planned out for me since my birth, but you proved that I can choose where I go in my life. Tonight, I'm choosing my path again, and there is no question who I choose to walk it with. Will you join my life, (Y/N)? For how long? Forever, I wish. I wish it with all of my heart."

Silver

"Yes, graduation is upon me, and it has arrived too fast. It's not that I'm not ready. I've never been more ready to enter the world as a full mage. I'm just not ready to leave my life behind as I venture forward. I mean you. I know you're only a class year below mine, but I cannot wait a year to tell you how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Yes, I will ask you now while my chances are ripe. Please, will you be my partner forever? Will you marry me?"

67 notes · View notes

transbianmuffin · 5 months ago

Text

Memories pt. 2

cw hopefully last transphobia, slurs, ptsd, bullism, death

********

[Sergeant] "Ok you bunch of pussies. In two hours we will make contact with the weed vessel. I want to see them burn. I want to know if they can scream and how high. No mercy, no POW. This is the day for which you've trained your whole life and..."

"Those wouldn't be POWs..."

[Frederick] "Oh my fucking god."

[Neil] "Told you that she wants to be fucked by weeds."

[Sergeant] "I'm sorry princess, my terminology doesn't appeal to your taste? You're right. Those weeds wouldn't be POWs. Those are fucking monsters that deserve to die."

"What I meant is that there is no war. They already won it...that's why we are the 'resistance' right?"

[Frederick] "Weed-fucker..."

[Sergeant] "You leave me no choice. You've crossed the line one last time, princess. You are exonerated from this mission. You will wait in the ship..."

[Frederick] "Yeah even because, can you imagine her actually shooting? She will start to cry and miss at best., if not hitting at us"

[Sergeant] "...and when we are back you can say good bye to your meds forever. I don't fucking care about the doctor's orders or whatever. I WILL make you a warrior. I don't care how much I have to BREAK you."

I don't care.

I hate you.

I hate you all.

We could be at peace and you strive for war again and again and again.

********

"Who would ever thought that those memories were so rooted within her that even Class-B would fail. I hope the variant that Psylocra gave me will work better."

"M- Mist..."

"Sleep my floret. Sleep. I'm here, everything is fine."

"I kil- I killed t-"

"Hush my beloved. You didn't do anything, those nightmares aren't real. You've always been with me, remember? I found you on a field of tulips and I've never left you. Now make your Mistress happy and sleep."

"I- happy... I goo- floret."

"You are the best floret an Affini could ever wish for, Deena."

********

Smoke.

Smoke everywhere.

Mask.

Fuck fuck what did I do fuck fuck shit oh god oh god oh god

Air.

I need air.

I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die

...

Light?

Where am I?

An Affini what the hell god it's eerie I'm scared I'm scared fuck fuck fuck

"Hello little terran, do you remeber your name?"

"Y- yes, I'm Deena."

"Mh, this doesn't seem correct. Oh wait. Yes it is. Roots you terrans really have to format your documentation better.

If that's your actual name why is it's only stated in a footnote?"

"I- "

My god she's so tall towering imposing and her stare I'm scared fuck fuck fuck

"It doens't matter. Now little terran, I have a most troublesome situation for which I think your help would be extremely valuable and much needed. Would you want to help me untangle this little mistery?"

"W- where..."

"Where are you? Oh yes, sorry. You are safe with us, with me. You have nothing to fear or worry about."

"..."

"I know that trust is a hard thing to concede for you little ones. So I'll introduce myself first and after that I'd love for you to do the same.

I am Sinea Chloratea, second bloom. I am a senior investigator officer for the Affini Compact dispatch in the Jupiter area. I don't mean any harm to you. In fact I find you extremely cute.

Your turn, dear."

"I- I am Deena. I am. I am. Scared."

"That's understandable, darling. Let me help you a bit here.

One day ago an unidentified terran vessel literaly crashed against one of our vessels.

A vessel which was carrying a very important scientist of ours. Now the terran vessel was more than expected. You are so cute when you think that our intelligence can't break through your, hehe, 'encrypted' communications.

Fact is that the vessel crashed against ours, we were expecting eight terrans, pretty well equipped trying to breach our hull and break in, but..."

"B-but?"

"But nothing happened. So, after a while, WE had to break in.

Now here's the funny part: a pretty thick smoke had oversaturated the inner cabin and we found seven corpses lying around.

All of them armed and presumably ready to attack.

We also found a curious amount of triggered smoke grenades.

Seven death terrans. We expected eight."

"Y-yes."

"Yes and we found the eight one. We found you lying almost lifeless, with a gas mask on. The only one with a gas mask on."

"I- "

"My dear, you seem pretty stressed. Maybe you want something to relax? Here, you can drink it if you want it. I promise it's nothing harmful, it will just... help with the memories."

Water?

No.

One of their drugs.

Don't care, I'm probably already dead.

I'm thirsty at least if I'm dying I will be high as fuck.

"Yes, good girl. Now I would love to hear this story from your point of view. Could you do that for me?"

Dizzy I feel so dizzy I must tell her no she's an Affini I must she seems so kind so kind finally kindness finally finally finally peace

"I killed them I killed them all they were cruel with me I never wanted to join them but I was an orphan I had nowhere to go and they took me in they treated me bad so I killed them I killed them all they wanted to kill you but I killed them I- I- I- I want kindness."

"Kindness? Oh I can certainly provide that. Stars you poor thing went through a lot. You don't deserve that, as cute as you are. You did good in telling me, you've been a good girl."

A good girl yes thank you thank you thank you finally kindness finally kindness

"Now, you're doing a wonderful job here, dear.

Unfortunately I need a last bit of information.

We understand that your vessel, well, former vessel central command control was connected to a bigger intranet. We could break the encription key but it'd take at least a couple of days and it's all wasted time, I think you can understand that.

"Yes. You need the key."

"I don't really need it but I'd like to not waste time, and besides it will prove that you truly are a good girl. A very cute one, I may say."

I am a good girl, yes yes thank you thank you thank you good girl I am a good girl

"The oldest one the Sergeant he had an implant behind his left eye that implant contains a genetic password that will grant you access to the rebel intranet I know it please please please tell te- sorry it's a bit hard to think straight.."

"Tell what?"

Tell me I'm a good girl tell me I'm a good girl tell me I'm a good girl tell me I'm a good girl tell me I'm a good girl tell me I'm a good girl

"..."

"My dear you're safe here, you can trust me, tell what?"

"T- tell me I'm a good girl."

"Oh sweetie. You are the goodest of the girls."

"..."

"Are you crying? Dirt, you are so extremely cute. Now you've sustained pretty big injuries to both your respiratory and limbic system. Nothing we can't take care of obviously and we will take care of you. Great care of you. You'll need some more time resting here in the xeno infirmary..."

"Th- thank you."

"...no need to thank me, little one. It's me who's thanking you. You've been so good.

I was saying: when you're done here would you mind to spend some time with me? I'd love to show you around our main vessel."

"Yes, yes please."

"Such a good girl. Rest now, soon we'll be together again."

Finally kindess finally peace

********

#floretposting #hdg #human domestication guide #affini

56 notes · View notes

vulpixisananimal · 5 months ago

Text

(Mirabelle)

"Stop it!!" (You scream.) "Both of you!! They, S-sif you'll, you'll-"

(They both ignore you. You could see Siffrin, Null? Getting, more and more exhausted with each step. They look, almost dead to the world! You couldn't help but grip your rapier.)

"Perhaps we should tell them to stop." (You wince, Merlon was standing a few feet away, closer to you. Did they circle around while you were focused? Her voice was quieter.) "I fear your friend might have gone too far."

"Now you think it's too far?!?" (You're, you're overwhelmed, you were afraid, nervous, angry, hopeful; but you had to focus.) "Aren't you even a little just, just, sorry?!?"

"A smidge," (they reply flatly.) "It would be a shame for such a hero to die before we find out how he turns back time."

(But even though he looked obviously weak and beaten, Perci didn't let up.) "I'd call it cheating. . ." (His swords dances, like they know just where to be no matter what Siffrin did.) "but it looks like you're only hurting yourself."

(You feel numb, you might cut yourself with how tightly you hold your rapier.)

". . . He gets, excited." (Merlon comments again. They're still writing things down.) "Or Dramatic, take your pick. I'll talk to him about it again once we're done here."

"That's a real help." (You respond, a hint of malice in your voice.) "If you really wanted to help then-!

(You see Siffrin, Nulls dagger go flying.)

(You inhale sharply. Null steps back. Standing for a moment, then collapsed to his knees. He looks, exhausted.)

"SIFFRIN!!!" (You take a step forward, Melon raises a hand, stopping you for a moment.)

(Perci crouches down, looking into their face. He turns back to you.) "Not dead, I'm sure of it. And as you can see, I barely laid a scratch on him!"

"Now now, (Merlon shakes their head.) "While that's true, look at them. He may not be dead, but he might wish he was."

"Leave them alone!!" (Is he okay?!? How many times did he loop?!? What was he thinking why didn't he just go back to get more help first!!!) "They've gone through enough!!"

"True, then, in that case a deal is a deal." (Perci stretches his hands, looking back at- W-wait!)

"NO!!!!!" (You push past Merlons hand, drawing your rapier and lunging at Perci. He moves back just in time that your blade only catches his shirt. You place yourself firmly between your friends body and your enemy. Your body feels numb, but you stood your ground. You had to make sure Null was okay!! A-and, make sure that-)

"We had a deal!" (Perci looks annoyed.) "Come now, lady Mirabelle, that's not very housemaidenly of you!"

"Deals change." (You scowled as hard as you could. If he wanted to hurt your friend then crab to his deals!!!) "I'm not going to sit by and let you hurt them!!"

"Of course you aren't." (He huffed, readying his swords.) "Lady Mirabelle, you have one more chance to step aside, I've been polite so far but that, too, can change."

"You can read my mind, can't you?" (You take a stance, ready to fight. If you can read my mind, then you should know that change is exactly what I strive for!)

(You had no plan, you lunge at Perci, letting your instincts take controll. He blocked, parried, step, pause, what that a rustle in the bushes?!? You step back, swipe- birds, just birds. Calm your nerves, Mirabelle!!)

"Perci!" (Merlon exclaimed, oh! You sliced him on the face.) "I'll-"

"No! My love no need to strain yourself, I'm fine." (He came at you again, what was he going to do?!? Slice with both?!? You had move! Move and dance back, footwork! And, and- you block, parry, good! You felt excitment in your veins, you reveled in it.)

(He dove in again! Oh Change how long was he going to keep this up!?! You had to just, keep moving! You had to, get back, get help or- is Bonnie okay?!? Ramos okay?!?! What if something bad happened while you're here!!)

(Step, step, block. You were too busy with Perci to properly use your crafts! Scissors? You couldn't do anything! Even Siffrin could use some rock craft- No! You, had to keep a bottle on that, self-loathing for, f-for later. Just, keep surviving! Take your time and-)

(You let out a yelp as you felt metal nip your arm. You glance, blood. He was good, you were good, but he was using two swords! Of course he could beat you he's using two!! You only have your rapier, and Null had a DAGGER.)

(He came at you again, block and- ouch, another cut, could you keep up?!? You're the swordswoman of the group! You could keep up, right? Just keep trying, ignore that other nip, and another. Cuts, it hurts but just focus!)

(You slash Perci on the hand, he drops one of his swords, glances at you, hesitates, tries picking it up and winces. Wounded? You were getting somewhere! He sheethes that sword and readys just the one. Sweat and rain ran down your skin.)

"You're very talented, I'll give you that." (He was panting, Glaring at you. You kept on your toes, just in case he lunged.)

"You're, not too bad, yourself!" (You said it with as much venom as you could inject into a compliment.)

"Why, thank you." (He smiles, genuinely this time, then looked away, sad? Angry? Annoyed?) ". . . I don't want to hurt you, Lady Mirabelle."

"If you're trying to give me another chance to stand down, don't bother!" (Where was your confidence coming from? You were SURGING with determination, strength, anger, passion, trust, fear, euphoria, doubt. So many at once.)

(You looked down at Null, collapsed on the ground, he was passed out. They, they were your friend. Your family. Your, your feelings buddy. . . They'll, they'll be okay, right?)

"I was afraid you would say that." (He sighed, there's another sound from the bushes.) "And there's no way I can convince you otherwise?"

"No!" (You grip your sword tighter.) "I won't ever let someone hurt my friends!! And I would never ever let someone force their way into their minds!!!"

(You felt the rain on your skin, you felt a bead of sweat on your head, and you felt, felt, a tear run down your cheek. Tears, multiple tears.)

"But even if it could-"

"Shut up!" (You interupt. You felt the waves wash over you. You were drowning. You couldn't repress it. You couldn't hold it.)

(You felt ice cold. Your chest felt tight, and yet, you continue on.) "My friends mind isn't some plaything! And what he feels about his home, it should be his decision if he wants to be involved in your, y-your stupid crabbing research!!!"

(Perci was taken aback, but you continue.) "I don't want to hear you talk! I don't want to hear your excuses! I don't want to hear how you think this is Change, or how it's doing those forgotten people a favor!! Someones mind, emotions, self, it's private!!!"

(The betrayed feeling you bottled up when things were taken without asking. The sadness of failing that you couldn't show. The extreme joy of a nice gift you felt you had to repress. Bottled up inside, untill you die.)

(You wouldn't keep it bottled any longer, no! You made a promise as well, and you wouldn't keep those feelings bottled untill you die! And you wouldn't wallow in despair untill you die either!)

(You were taught that by two islanders. One, your closest friend, and the other, your hated enemy. Bottling their emotions and embracing them untill they were consumed. You ready your rapier. You made a promise.)

(You'll continue to fight.)

". . . Fine." (Perci sighs, defeated. He holds a scissors sign up.) "I'm sorry, Lady Mirabelle, you wont remember a thing, dont worry."

(He's about to use mind craft, you know it. Some strong charm, maybe something you couldn't beat, and, a-and that scared you, but.)

(He sends a blast of craft energy at you.)

(You stood your ground. You'll continue to fight, and you'll do it scared.)

(In a flash, that strange sadness was between you and Perci. It's hands were clasped together in a form that, that. . .)

(That's. . . That's your skill. That's your skill. Adorable Moving Shield, but, strongr! Holy Care Shield! The invulnerability shield you could never DREAM of learning how to craft- That's why it was randomly invincible!! It was using!! Your!! Skill!!!!)

(Perci stared at you, stared at the sadness. He was, for once, at a lost for words. It was only when the sadness dashed at Perci did he snap back to reality and start fighting for his life.)

"Perci!! I can-" (Merlon starts again.)

"I'm- Fine!!" (Perci did not sound fine. It sounded like he was running a marathon.) "Don't, you dare, Mimi."

(You were entranced by the sadness and how it moved. Now that you weren't fighting it, you recognised its movements because it's how you moved. It had your change symbol. It had your hair, your, your-)

"MIRABELLE!!!"

(You knew that voice, you turn, Ramos and Bonnie were running down the road to you. You smile, thank Change they came to help.)

(The sadness jumped back from Perci and growled. Perci looked winded, worried. He looked to you.) "I-Is, is it yours?!?"

"I-I, I don't know-" (The sadness rushed in again. Perci stepping back trying not to get sliced in two by its sharp claws.)

"CICI, PLEASE!!" (You heared Merlon scream. She was gripping her book tight, fear on their face.)

"I'm, I-I'm fine! I can't, can't risk--"

(He was cut off by a scream from the sadness. It looked at him dead in the eyes. And a moment later, he was frozen in time.)

"NO!"

(You felt a powerful blast of energy wash over you like a firestorm. You blink only for a second, but suddenly the sadness was between you and the storm. You glanced back, Ramos had scooped Bonnie up and was shielding them with their body.)

(When the scene cleared, Merlon was standing in front of Perci's frozen body. Her hands crackled with energy that looked like, light. You got a headache.)

(You smelled sugar. You smelled it stronger than you ever had before.)

(The sadness rushed at them and swiped. Merlon held a hand up and it looked like light itself stopped the sadness in its tracks. That didn't stop it, it was attacking relentlessly.)

"Change. . ." (You mutter, before readying your rapier again.)

"I-I. ." (Ramos' voice, they and Bonnie had finally caught up.) "I know them, where do I-"

"Ramos? You, joined the, saviors?" (Merlon was panting between each breath. She was focused on making those panels of light.) "That, that doesn't matter! L-lady Mirabelle-"

"Stop talking!!!" (Bonnie yells back, they were brandishing their frying pan like a strong little warrior.) "Just stop talking!!! You hurt 'Frin!!! And 'Belle!!

"I-I'm sorry, just, please-"

"It was you!" (Ramos gripped their tonfas.) "You're the one who, who-"

"Please! Just unfreeze him, Housemaiden!!"

(You hesitate at their voice. You knew that tone, desperation, devotion, it was a similar tone Isabeau had when Siffrin passed out for a week.)

"Undo the mind craft." (You respond.) "Release my friends and everyone here, a-and I'll unfreeze him."

"What!?!"

"'B-Belle???"

"Done." (They reached their hand into a pocket and pulled out a star charm. She threw it out, the sadness pounced on it and stabbed, stabbed, and stabbed over and over again.) "A backup in case we had to leave. I-I, I don't know how to prove my intent, apart from that."

". . ." (They could be lying to you. You had your doubts, your fears. However, between her and Perci, she had been the more honest and straight forward.) "Fine."

(You storm up to the frozen antagonist, breathe in, and out. You clap, and in wink, he was moving again. Gasping, glancing between you all.)

"I-I, did it, just-" (He started.)

(Merlon grabbed his arm and held him close. She looked at you. Her eyes were. . . Hard to read.) "Thank you, Housemaiden. We're leaving."

(Before anyone could protest, including Perci, Merlon snapped her fingers, and in a flash of light, they dissapeared.)

". . . . . . . . ."

". . . . . . . . What the CRAB?!?"

(Your mouth felt numb. A-actually, your whole body was numb.)

"H-how, how did they, how did they do that?!?" (Ramos was looking dumbstruck and where the duo had dissapeared.) "What, what kinda craft was. . ."

"What's th'sadness doing?" (Bonnie tugged on your skirt- THE SADNESS!!!)

(You turn, the sadness was still stabbing at what little remained of the star charm. Why wasn't it attacking? You all stared at it before you turned back to Ramos and Bonnie.) "I-I'll, deal with it. Go help Siffrin, t-they looped far too much and passed out."

"Stupid crabface." (Bonnie mumbled, before stomping over to Siffrin.)

". . ." (Ramos look away for a moment.) ". . . That, that was them, right? The two who. . ."

(You nod.) "It was. You're okay, Ramos."

(Ramos looks at you, smiling a little, before going to help Siffrin.)

(You turn back to the sadness.)

("When ones emotions and craft skills are strong enough, a sadness is created from their emotions alone." "Those who are frozen in time spawned their own, strong, Bonded Sadness. If you defeat them, the powerful craft and emotional energy will rebound on who created it." "we were able to beat the sadness, but then. . . I don't remember, but something bad happened.")

(You were bound to this sadness, weren't you. You don't know how, you don't know why, but, you knew this was your sadness. You stepped forward, slowly. This was your emotions made form, wasn't it.)

(The sadness looked up at you. Stared at you. You felt a wave of emtions, you felt numb, yet, cold. You stood your ground.)

". . . . . . . . . . . H-hello-"

(The sadness tilted its head to the side, staring at you. Its gaze was cold and inquisitive. It was, testing you.)

". . . . . . . You're, me, aren't you."

{. . . . .}

(In a blurr, the sadness was in your face. Hands on the side of your head, staring at you with that uncovered, crying eye.)

{I CAN'T WAIT TO NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.}

(The words sent shivers through your mind. You couldn't move, you couldn't think, that, that was your voice, wasn't it.)

"Do you want to kill me?"

{MAYBE.}{MAYBE YOU WON'T EVEN COME BACK TONIGHT.}{AND MAYBE YOU'LL STAY HERE. SMILING. SAYING IT'S OKAY. UNTILL. YOU. DIE.}

(The cold, creeping feeling was digging into your heart.) "But it's not okay."

{IT NEVER WAS.}

{IT NEVER WILL BE AGAIN.}

{IF ONLY YOU TALKED. IF ONLY YOU LET YOUR ROGUE KNOW YOUR WISH. IF ONLY YOU HAD EVER CONSIDERED MAKING YOURSELF MORE THAN JUST AN ICON.}

{THE CHANGE GODS FAVORITE DRESS UP DOLL.}

(. . . . . . .)

{YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO CHANGE.}

{YOU MET CHANGE THEMSELF. AND YET YOU DON'T CHANGE.}

"I Change in the way that's right!"

{. . .}

(You voice was stunned. You needed to keep talking.) "Change is what I strive for! A-and yes, some things I can't Change, but not all Changes are good!!"

{YOU LOATH CHANGE, DON'T YOU.}

(. . .)

{YOU WANT TO RIP THOSE EARINGS OUT, TO LEAVE BLOODY HOLES WHERE TRADITION WOULD BE. YOU WANT TO TEAR OFF THE SYMBOL OF CHANGE, STAYING STAGNANT AND DEAD.}

(You reach your hands up, and put them to the side of your sadness face. You close your eyes.)

"I'm going to accept it."

{. . .}

". . . I know there's parts of me that will never change, and if that makes me a failure, I'll accept it."

(You breathe in, and out.)

"I'll accept it."

(You opened your eyes, the sadness was gone. You felt, exhausted. Tired.)

"Mira!!!"

"'Belle!!!"

(You turned to Ramos and Bonnie. Siffrin was slumped over Ramos' shoulders. Bonnie looked like they were ready to jump at the sadness that was no longer there. You smile at them.)

"I-Is siffrin okay?"

"I- Yeah they're okay but." (Ramos looked jumpy.) "A-are, are you?"

"I, not, really. I feel, very tired." (You wipe your tears away with your arm- oh, you're holding something?)

(You open your hand. There's a small stone. It looks like, frozen water. You could see the liquid moving under a hard surface.)

[. . . . . Mirabelle got the FROZEN CHARM.]

"Hey." (Bonnie was tugging on your arm.) "Lets go. You're tired, 'Frins tired. I'll make snacks, ok?"

"O-okay, Bonnie." (You smile and stand up, joining Bonnie and Ramos, and walk back.)

(. . . It had been a long day.)

[. . . . Mirabelle re-learned the skill HOLY CARE SHIELD.]

[. . . . Mirabelle also got a MEMORY OF FEELINGS.]

[When equipped, Memory of Feelings replaces "Holy Care Shield" with "Soothing Restful Song," an amazingly strong skill that freezes one opponent in time. However, it has an enormous craft cooldown.]

63 notes · View notes

elains · 1 year ago

Text

Azriel's association with Enalius, what it means for his arc and Illyria

This is something me and my friends have talked about off tumblr, but I wanted to write my own post about it and gather my thoughts. But here, I'll discuss a bit Azriel's character and how the revelations we witness in House of Flame and Shadow will be important to his character. (+ a little bit of Emerie).

What do we know about Enalius? From ACOSF, Emerie provides us with a little exposition when they are in the Rite, when the Pass of Enalius is brought up:

Long ago—so long ago they don’t even have a precise date for it—a great war was fought between the Fae and the ancient beings who oppressed them. One of its key battles was here, in these mountains. Our forces were battered and outnumbered, and for some reason, the enemy was desperate to reach the stone at the top of Ramiel. We were never taught the reason why; I think it’s been forgotten. But a young Illyrian warrior named Enalius held the line against the enemy soldiers for days.

Now, from the Crescent City crossover, we learned that Truth-teller and Gwydion are twin blades. They are a pair. According to the Silene History Lesson, the dagger used to belong to her father's (Fionn's) dear friend, slain during the war. A bit later, when they find Vesperus, she confirms that this friend was Enalius:

The Asteri’s eyes flared with recognition at the long blade. “Did Fionn send you, then? To slay me in my sleep? Or was it that traitor Enalius? I see that you bear his dagger—as his emissary? Or his assassin?”

Immediately before that, she also confirms that the Asteri crafted (which can either mean created, shaped forged, but we are going with created) the Illyrians:

The Asteri’s blue eyes lowered to the dagger. “You dare draw a weapon before me? Against those who crafted you, soldier, from night and pain?”

From everything, we can conclude this: Enalius was the original wielder of Truth-teller before Fionn and Theia, a dear friend to Fionn, and someone who pulled the ultimate sacrifice to keep the Asteri/Daglan from reaching the top of Ramiel. He was a traitor to the Asteri, a rebel against his masters and everything they stood for.

Enalius is the hero most Illyrians strive to mimic, the legendary figure who they all hope to one day surpass. He's a symbol of their people, even if so much about him has been forgotten — the fact that he had a dagger, Fionn's friendship, what the battle was for, maybe even how he was as a person. Brave, for sure. Willing to die for the cause.

And it's Azriel who bears his dagger. Azriel, who has such a complicated relationship with his Illyrian heritage and loaths it - and by extension, himself - is the one with this enormous legacy right at this hand. And this matters.

Still in ACOSF, we have Rhys talking with Cassian and wanting him to play Courtier, the following exchange then follows:

“What, we’re doing some role reversal? Az gets to lead the Illyrians now?” “Don’t play stupid,” Rhys said coolly. Cassian rolled his eyes. But they both knew Azriel would sooner disband and destroy Illyria than help it. Convincing their brother that the Illyrians were a people worth saving was still a battle amongst the three of them.

Azriel hates the Illyrians for what happened to him and his mother and his dislike for them is, to a degree, understandable. The thing is that Azriel, no matter how much he loaths it, is Illyrian. Maybe he's more than that (as it's pointed that Az is different in a lot of ways and Bryce wonders if he is Starborn), but at heart, he's Illyrian. Siphons, leathers, fighting, being Carynthian, his wings, his scabbard and the dagger it holds.

It was healthy, perhaps, for Az to sometimes remember where he'd come from. He still wore the Illyrian leathers. Had not tried to get the tattoos removed. Some part of him was Illyrian still. Always would be. Even if he wished to forget it.

Being Illyrian is part of who he is and his deep hatred for them only fuel his self-loathing. He would like to set himself apart, but he is not.

We can actually draw a direct parallel between Azriel and Bryce with how they regard the Fae vs the Illyrians. Bryce loathes the Fae and for most of HoFaS, she believes they are evil, corrupt, power-hungry and quite generally, not worth saving. She would leave them all to burn. Sound familiar?

And Bryce is wrong. Sathia challenges her notion, pointing out that she's laying judgement to all fae and that is hardly fair. What the one who don't deserve it? Herself, yes, but Flynn, Declan, and Ruhn himself? Do they deserve to burn too? Bryce herself acknowledges this:

Urd had sent her there to see, even in the small fraction of their world that she’d witnessed, that Fae existed who were kind and brave. She might have had to betray Nesta and Azriel, trick them … but she knew that at their cores, they were good people. The Fae of Midgard were capable of more. Ruhn proved it. Flynn and Dec proved it. Even Sathia proved it, in the short time Bryce had known her.

And this part here sums up quite neatly:

Fire met starlight met shadows, and Bryce loosed herself on the world. It ended today. Here. Now. This had nothing to do with the Asteri, or Midgard. The Fae had festered under leaders like these males, but her people could be so much more.

There are Illyrians who are kind and brave and break the mold. We see this with Emerie, who is also a woman. We see that with Balthazar, Cassian. The main point stands, though, that you cannot judge or condemn an entire race for the bad apples.

Azriel is wrong, just as Bryce was wrong, and his journey will be also to realise that his people are worth saving. They were created of night and pain (words that Azriel embodies, being a master of shadows and a torturer), but that is not everything they need to be. They can be more than soldiers. They can thrive.

And I believe this was something Enalius himself came to the believe, long ago. His people deserved more than to be slaves to the Asteri, forced to give them their power when need be, bred to live and die for them. They could be more. And Enalius died to free his people from their chains.

Is Azriel Enalius's blooded descendant? I'm not sure, but he doesn't need to be. Azriel is Enalius successor because he will finish what was started. He'll uncover the secrets of the past, what his people were in truth, what Enalius rebelled for, what he stood for, what the Blood Rite truly means - which he only got a glimpse of.

And this is where I think Emerie will also come in. She's s one of ACOSF most relevant characters and the first female Illyrian to be Carynthian. I think Emerie will also become an inspirational figure to the Illyrian women, another of these what they coud be. What they can be. And more importantly and that is just a theory, what they were.

Orestes was a warrior. What if so was Carynth and she was woman? The name always struck me as similar to Carina, which is the name of a constellation and commonly used by women. It would be ironic and another shaking revelation to the Illyrians that Carynth, for whom their greatest warriors are named after, was a woman.

Does that mean all Illyrian women must become Valkyries? No, but some might wish to follow this path whilst their society takes its time to catch up. They already shook the status quo and with Nesta poised to have a big role (andthe Valkyries along her), they will continue to do so.

Azriel will uncovered the lost history of Vesperus offered him all the clues he needed to start looking. His journey to find out this secrets will lead to him facing his own demons, confronting his loathing for his people and, in doing so, he will make peace with himself.

#hofas spoilers #azriel #shout out to yaz for helping me fish the quotes #my meta #acotar #acosf #emerie #illyria

289 notes · View notes