#and i was watching criminal minds and there was an arson episode and it make me panic and i got through like 10 mins before skipping it

[tenpintsofsundrop]

Okay the fact that I have every inch of this pilot (Days Gone By - I even know all the fucking episode titles from the first and second season off by heart) because I have seen it SO MANY TIMES so I know exactly what moments you're talking about without having to rewatch it 👀 TWD really brings out my autism

And I am going to have to SERIOUSLY HOLD BACK to resist the urge to jump ship and start writing TWD fanfic again now that you're watching it. I have to finish my Criminal Minds WIPs!!!!! Spencer deserves my attention!!!!!@

(I really didn't think you were gonna be doing this so soon ngl)

Okay the intro - I FUCKING LOVE how they chose non-linear storytelling for the opening moments of the episode. Because it would have been SO EASY to start out with Rick and Shane in the cop car chatting or even a scene of Rick getting ready in the morning to leave his house like normal - really showing how he was just another average guy before shit went down.

But they chose to show the destruction first.

And something I endlessly fucking LOVE about TWD as a whole is the ENVIRONMENTAL STORYTELLING. Usually this is only the kind of shit you get in a good horror game, but I am praising the gods of their set designers, because they got SO MUCH RIGHT. Just in the pilot alone, showing people stranded at the gas station, showing how it was a natural place for people to make camp because they literally couldn't GO anywhere else, showing how entire families were affected by the devastation.

And the family in the farmhouse - how they killed themselves and wrote 'God Forgive Us' on the wall. They were clearly highly religious, but things were SO bad that even they were willing to turn to the sin of suicide to avoid such troubling times.

Rick talking about his family photos being missing, snatched off the walls because his wife took them down as she left. Stuff like that is really what makes the show golden. I love it!!!

Also if you like Jon Bernthal ... you're gonna be disappointed. His character has a harsh arc (that is one of my favourites to study) but ... dude.

"The director said cut and Andrew Lincoln heard Cunt" JUST. WAIT. UNTIL. THE LATER SEASONS !!!!!!!!!

"If Dwayne dies I'll commit arson." .... 😬

Also - Negan shows up in Season 7 officially, but a lot of the arc before that is build up to showing him. So you're gonna be waiting a while 😂

Also - "hey, dumbass, you in the tank" I want that fucking TATTOOED ON ME. Cause that was the moment I fell in love with Glenn

Just wait till you get to "yeah, whatever. Yeehaw you're still a dumbass" like GLENN IS MY BABY !!!!!@!!

(Also sorry my response is so short I was writing this on my phone and I'm trying hard not to get sucked into TWD again emotionally. ... it's not working lmao)

TWD Pilot Live Star Reaction

.... how long did y’all think it’d take me to actually do this? Be honest !

ALRIGHT LETS GO !

I actually think I have watched the first episode of this before but it was lifetimes ago and all I remember is he wakes up from a coma well into the apocalypse

Fun fact: I was not gonna watch this today but as I was looking for a background show that wasn’t Community of B99 I stumbled upon this (I didn’t know it was still on netflix)

Fun fact 2: both my sister And my dad have watched a SHIT TON of this show, neither of them are caught up but they watched a good amount of seasons

Is that thing gonna explode? I just realized I don’t know WHY he’s in a coma/in the hospital

OH MY GOD THE HORSE !!! NO I REMEMBERED THE HORSE !!!! NOOOOO

Is this already apocalypse time? That’s too many abandoned cars

OOP- oh that dead woman is getting up from that fucking car my dude, I can feel it

Is my tv too low or does the pilot start intensely quiet?

A DEAD ZOMBIE CHILD !! .... i guess all zombies are dead huh

Oh my tv is very quiet hold on

DOES HE NOT WAKE UP IN A HOSPITAL ????

Jon Bernthal is in this ???? Does he die early on ? I feel like tumblr would Not let me ignore the presence of this man in this show

Rick (?) very pretty beautiful man, i know he’ll look like SO HOT with the beard but fresh faced like that he’s just Gorgeous

Oh no wife mention.... wonder who dies in the next scene ?

OH YEAH HE HAS A SON !!! I don’t think he dies early, I’ve seen that mop headed kid around here enough times

Cop 3: says something dumb

Rick: what I think Leon, is you gotta stay focused

🤭 alright damn

WERE THEY EVEN GOING FAST ENOUGH FOR THE CAR TO DO ALL THAT ????

OOOOHHH HE GETS SHOT !! That’s why he’s in coma !!

See if I didn’t know about the timeskip I would’ve been gagged at this scene with the flowers and the beard (that’s on cinematography babieee)

Why his tiddies just out like that? (Yes ik he got shot in the chest, cover them up slut)

Kinda insane the hospital is CRAWLING with zombies tbh, i mean it’s Fucked Up dont get me wrong but there should be so much more

ooooohhhh they’re locked up, okay MY BAD CARRY ON

NOT THE SCARY STAIRS IN THE DARK !!! NOOOOO !! i know zombie shit is automatically some type of horror but I didn’t expect this show to so Spooky Scary

This scene is here to remind me that I’d never want to survive in a zombie apocalypse, amount of flies alone is a no from me

Also sorry but this is an hour long pilot with the least amount of lines/dialogue in existence and it’s INCREDIBLY MOVING AND —> the director said cut and Andrew Lincoln heard Cunt

Lori ? Is his wife not dead ? OH is this the plot where the wife and bf stick together and end up in a relationship while he was gone ???? Isn’t there a plot like that in this show ????

A FATHER !!!! This kid is READY TO FIGHT sksksks good for him

I love when ZA media has their own silly little names for zombie

This man has a wedding ring on ;-; did him and his son watch his wife die ? They did 🤧

IS EVERY ACTOR IN THIS SHOW GONNA SERVE ABSOLUTE CUNT IN THESE EMOTIONAL SCENES ????

DAMN ! Reason 2 why I’d never want to survive in an apocalypse: NOT HOT WATER ??? NO SHOWERS ??? Could not be me, I’m not a camping girlie

If Dwayne dies I’ll commit arson

They’re both dying aren’t they ? Oh god the mom is gonna be upstairs isn’t she? At least inside the house somehow

I didn’t even have any smart ass comments that scene was just fucking sad (the mercy killing + dude trying to mercy kill his wife)

OOOOHHH HES HERE !!! BEST FRIEND JON BERNTHAL AINT DEAD YET !!

I think I remember that older guy in their group, I have a feeling he’s gonna be an asshole and betray us tragically

And I was right about the wife x best friend thing !!!!!

Again, that photo reveal would’ve left me gagged had I not Known

When does Negan show up? Just genuinely curious, I’m pretty sure he is The Worst Man in existence in this show

THE HOOOORSEEEE NOOOO !!! Actually cried a little bit, that scene is fucked up

*encourages Rick to shoot a guy sitting inches away from him* he did not think that one through, and neither did it

“Hey dumbass... yeah you in the tank” ... *very confused* is he hallucinating...?

*recognizes the voice and lets out a gasp* GLENN !!!!

.... I MUST SEE HIM ! GODDAMNIT ! Okay starting ep 2 please wish me luck not to stay up all night

Anyways this is always thank to and specially for my bestie, light of my life @tenpintsofsundrop

[dsm-lxix]

i think my pyrophobia may be coming back a bit and im trying so hard bc i don't wanna have so many sleepless nights again

[th84u]

kinktober day seven: thigh riding [ateez’s wooyoung]

fic type: drabble

pairing: sub! wooyoung x dom! reader

genre: soft smut; established relationship

word count: 0.7k (short :( sorry)

warning: [nsfw] dom! reader, sub! idol, praise kink, degradation kink, pet names (baby, bunny) and obviously, thigh riding

note: you all know my kinktober has become kinkvember :| anygays, enjoy this. i couldn’t post it on wednesday (yesterday) bcus i was at work and when i finished it on my phone, i was too lazy to turn my laptop on and add a read more cut. it’s 1:31 am and i worked the closing shift so being tired isn’t an excuse: it’s a fact.

“c’mon baby! i want to know what happens to katie and hotch!” you shout from the living room as your boyfriend slams the fridge door shut, running back with the cheese and grapes. “i swear, if they don’t make it, i’ll commit arson.”

wooyoung laughs, planting a soft kiss on the side of your head. “criminal minds really has you hooked, doesn’t it?” you nod enthusiastically, grabbing the food from his hands. unbeknownst to you, he stared at you endearingly with a smile.

your eyes never left the screen, so it was only fair that you didn’t feel the way wooyoung begin to press against your thigh. he shifted multiple times, his arm around you, nuzzling into the crook of your neck, thumb circling against your thigh– he just couldn’t sit still.

when you take your eyes off the screen, you finally take notice of the movement against your thigh. feigning innocence, you glance at him, not exactly surprised to see how flushed his cheeks were, teeth tugging at his lower lip. you could feel his hips rutting against your thigh.

you chose to ignore him (conveniently) and focus on the show. wooyoung could wait and it was fun teasing him, moving your leg ever-so slightly so that it would press against him harder, but not to the point that he’d realise that you knew.

wooyoung didn’t even realise the show had ended as he hid his face in your neck, trying to muffle his sweet moans. you smirk, turning the tv off. you could feel his pre-cum leaking out of his pants, staining your thigh.

“did you really think i wouldn’t notice?” he freezes as you chuckle. leaving the safety of your neck, wooyoung avoided all eye contact as you grabbed his arm, pulling him into your lap. “c’mon, baby. you can put on a show for me, hmm?”

he whimpers softly as you thread your fingers through his hair. draping the blanket over him, wooyoung began to move again as you grin. “such a needy whore,” you hummed softly as he nods. “take your pants off, baby. i want you to cum all over my thigh.”

you feel wooyoung stiffen against you further, but his enthusiasm shows when he follows your order swiftly. wooyoung eagerly pulls his pants down, his cock springing free as he hissed softly.

pulling him back into your lap, you shift your thigh slightly, providing wooyoung the friction he needed. he begin to rut against your thigh, breathy whimpers leaving his throat as he threw his head back in pleasure. “always love to see you fucked dumb for me,” you mumble, tugging at his hair slightly as he let out a loud moan, dick stiffening even more.

watching wooyoung chase his high always made you squirm. “w-want to make you c-cumMMM!” wooyoung whined loudly, his pitch going higher at the end of his sentence. “w-want my p-pretty y/n cum too,” he whimpered as you take in a sharp breath.

tempted, you want to give in to his request eagerly, but you stop yourself. “no, baby,” you hum against his neck, hand reaching to trace circles on the pale skin on his inner thigh as the sound of the sound of the next episode played on the tv. “tonight, it’s all about you. only you,” you groan as he picks up his pace, whining into your shirt in hopes of muffling his moans. “c’mon, cum for me baby. want the whole block to know that you’re cumming for me.”

wooyoung, affected by your words, finally let go, cum splattering across your thighs, his moans echoing off the living room walls and you’re relieved that your apartment unit was farther away from your neighbours as it was a corner unit.

you smiled gently, fingers threading through his soft hair as he panted, head slumped against your shoulder. “such a good boy you are for me, bunny,” you praise wooyoung softly, plating soft kisses on the top of his head.

wooyoung wrapped his arms around you. “t-thank you,” he whispered, eyes closed. “i love you, y/n.”

you hum in response, looking up as he hid his face in the crook of your neck and let out a sigh of disappointment.

“ah, fuck. i need to rewind the episode.”

[rosiehunterwolf]

This request is the result of a very awake mind at 2 am. How about a part crack, part tooth-rotting fluff fic about and interview with characters of your choice.

I tried my best with this... it's difficult to do crack in such a short piece (hence this one ended up being a little longer) and although I think writing crack is really fun, I have no experience in the field XD. So... hope this is what you were looking for XD.

The Case of the Forgotten Birthday Gift

Summary: When the ninja are invited to the Ivory City of Shintaro for Princess Vania’s birthday, they find themselves in the most devastating predicament of all- they forgot to bring a birthday gift for Vania. In a panic, Cole offers her a chance to interview them as compensation. Not everyone is thrilled about the idea.

“We thank you for attending Princess Vania’s birthday,” King Vangelis said, hovering before the ninja with two winged guardsmen at his sides. “We ask that you leave any gifts on this table.” He gestured towards a table that was practically groaning under the weight of all the presents atop it.

“Um.” Cole blanched. “Gift?”

“Cole!” Jay whispered harshly in his ear. “Don’t tell me. That you didn’t bring a present for the princess. On her birthday.”

“I didn’t bring one? Last time I checked, we were all invited! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, I didn’t, so you better come up with something now or they’ll never invite us back here again!”

“Uh…” Cole’s brain felt like it was whirring a mile a minute, and he reluctantly turned back to the king. “Thank you, your majesty, but our gift to the princess is not something material.”

King Vangelis raised an eyebrow. “No?”

“No, it’s a… it’s um… we’re giving you a free interview.”

“What?!” the other ninja all yelped, at the same time that Vania beamed, clapping her hands together.

“I get to interview the ninja? The ninja? Truly, this is the best birthday present ever!”

“Cole,” Kai groaned, putting his head in his hands, “what have you done?”

---

“When I told you to come up with something to give the princess, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Jay grumbled from where he was sitting stiffly in a chair next to Cole. “Did you really have to offer the girl who’s obviously a bit bonkers about us an interview?”

“I didn’t see you coming up with anything better,” Cole snapped. “Besides, she may be a bit obsessed, but she seems nice enough. Just go along with it. She’s like any other fan.”

“Any other fan, you say? I wouldn’t be so sure!”

Cole sighed, glancing back at where Lloyd was standing atop his chair, glaring down at them. “Lloyd, sit down.”

“She’s no normal fan, I’m telling you! I don’t trust her! She was too excited about this interview! She’s out to get us, she just wants to trick us into giving away information so she can exploit our weaknesses!”

Kai glanced back and forth between Lloyd and Cole. “Seriously, does no one else see what an obvious cry for therapy this is?”

“Lloyd!” Cole hissed. “For the last time! Sit. Down.”

“Don’t worry, Lloyd,” Zane said as the teen plopped down grumpily in his seat. “The odds of our team member’s princess girlfriend turning out to be the leader of a criminal gang for the second time in our lives are practically nonexistent! Under seventy percent, at least.”

“She’s not my girlfriend!” Cole snapped.

Zane blinked. “Well, then whose is she?”

“Not mine,” Jay told them, grabbing Nya’s hand. “I’m already engaged!”

Kai laughed. “No thanks, she’s not my type. Plus, I already have a girlfriend who stabbed me in the back, although luckily for me, mine came around, eventually.”

“For the last time, Vania is not going to betray us!”

“It’s not our fault we have trust issues,” Lloyd sniffed. “You’d think someone would book us therapy, but apparently that’s not a priority.”

“Well, if she herself isn’t evil, maybe she’s related to someone evil!” Kai said. “Skylor’s evil, psychotic father influenced her to turn on me. Do you think Vania has an evil, psychotic father?”

“Definitely,” Lloyd agreed, at the same time Nya said “No way.”

Nya shook her head. “Do you know how ridiculous you guys sound? How many evil, psychotic fathers can there be out there?”

“Um. There’s Chen, Milton Dyer, Skales, my father- need I go on?”

“Don’t forget Nadakhan’s evil djinn father!” Jay chimed. Lloyd blinked at him. “Who?”

“See? That’s barely any!” Nya exclaimed. “Besides, like half of those people are good now, so they don’t count.”

“But they were, which means there’s a high chance of King Vangelis being evil and psychotic-”

“Who’s evil and psychotic?” A cheery voice interrupted them as Princess Vania pushed open the doors.

“Oh, uh… just an old villain we faced,” Cole covered quickly.

“Oh, you must tell me all about them!” Vania smiled, pushing the doors closed behind her and clicking the lock.

Kai blinked. “Did you just lock us in?”

“Of course! I can’t have anyone else breaking in here and trying to eavesdrop on my very special interview!”

“Do people break into your room often?” Nya laughed.

“Not at all! Only a few times a week.”

“Um… you do realize that we’re crime-fighting ninja, right?” Jay told her. “We have lots of enemies. Maybe you should have some people guarding us while we’re here.”

“Oh, don’t worry! If anyone attacks you, Chompy will scare them off!” The ninja looked to where she was pointing to see a tiny dragon snoozing on Vania’s bed.

“Oh, how reassuring,” Kai said dryly. “The overgrown gecko can keep us safe.”

Vania raised an eyebrow. “You’re lucky he’s asleep. Mr. Chompy does not play nice when he’s angry.”

“Oh yeah, I’m so scared,” Kai grinned, leaning back.

Vania narrowed her eyes at him. “He killed a dire bat once.”

“Yeah, well, we fought off an entire flock of them from our ship.”

“First of all, it’s called a colony of bats, not a flock. Second, I know that a squadron of our guards had to go save you.”

“We didn’t need saving! They interrupted us just as I was about to use my mighty fire powers to burn them to a crisp!” “Chompy would knock them out of the sky before you could do that.”

“Yeah, well, I could squish Chompy under my foot.”

“Chompy could gouge out your eyes.”

“Oookay, as fun as this is,” Cole interrupted, pushing them apart, “Let’s just get this interview over with. Vania, what questions did you want to ask us?”

“Hold on.” Vania jogged over to the wall and pulled over a small table, setting up a camera on top of it.

Jay stared at it. “What is that.”

“I need to record this, silly!”

“What’s the point of locking us in here and not letting anyone else listen in if you’re just going to broadcast this whole thing to everyone, anyway?” Nya asked.

“Because seeing it live isn’t half as fun as watching a recording!”

“Then why record it at all?”

“How else am I going to rub it in all my friends’ faces that I met the ninja?”

“This is a non-consensual violation of my privacy,” Jay grumbled.

“Oh please, your face is over half the city,” Cole sighed.

“Welcome back to Truthful Tidbits! I’m your host, Vania, and I’m here with an exclusive episode today- with me, I have the famous ninja!” “What,” Lloyd said slowly, “are you doing?”

“It’s for my TV show,” Vania whispered.

“You have a TV show?” Nya spluttered.

“Wait, no one told me this was going to be on TV!” Kai yelped. “The camera’s not getting my good side!”

“Wait, if this is a TV show, shouldn’t we have makeup artists or something?”

“Jay’s right!” Kai agreed. “I can’t go on television without a makeover!”

“My database shows no recollection of the show ‘Truthful Tidbits.’”

“It’s not on mainstream television,” Vania grumbled. “I just show them to my videography class.”

“Oh.” Jay relaxed in his chair. “That’s it?”

“What do you mean, that’s it? People are still going to see me without makeup! Just because it’s a small group doesn’t make this any less of a disaster!”

“I’m hoping to change that,” Vania beamed. “This is the big break I need! An interview with the ninja? Everyone will want to see it!”

“Andddd we’re back to privacy invasion again,” Jay groaned.

“Wanna bounce, Jay?” Lloyd asked.

“Do I ever-”

“Count me in, guys, I’m not doing this without a proper makeup job-”

“If you guys are all leaving, I’m not going to stay!” Nya insisted. “Zane?”

“It seems futile to stay if you all are leaving.” “You can’t leave!” Vania cried. “This is my present! Besides, you’re locked in here!”

Lloyd stared her dead in the eyes. “I will literally jump out the window to get out of this.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ll die!”

“Then tell Chumpy to catch me,” he told her, already climbing into the window.

“It’s Chompy!”

“Oh no, you don’t.” Kai reached out a hand, snatching the back of Lloyd’s gi before he could jump. “I don’t want to spend the rest of our stay in a hospital. What did you think was going to happen, you were going to sprout wings?”

“I’m part dragon,” Lloyd grumbled. “It’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility.”

“I have a much less life-threatening way. Stand back.” Kai’s fist lit up in flames.

“I swear, Kai, if you burn down anything, we are never coming back here,” Cole warned.

“A little arson never hurt anyone.” Hurtling a fireball at the door, it burst into flames. Quickly, it burned a human-sized hole in the door, and Kai, Jay, and Lloyd quickly darted through.

“What about my interview?” Vania protested. “You promised!”

“Technically, Cole was the one who promised you the interview,” Zane pointed out. “He never specified which of us you would be interviewing.”

“And since Cole’s staying, we’re technically not breaking that promise!” Nya added.

Cole blinked. “I’m what?”

“Staying. Have fun, you two!” Nya waved, and the two of them shot out the door, spraying ice and water as they passed to extinguish the flames.

“Sorry about that, princess,” Cole said, scratching the back of his neck.

Vania narrowed her eyes. “This better be the best interview ever.”

Cole grinned. “Mark my words, it will be. Fire away.”

“Speaking of fire, you’re paying for my door.”

“... Yeah, I figured.”

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Back again, with my opinions that no one asked for.  This time, it’s my takes on the animated versions of Pyro.

1. X-Men: The Animated Series Pyro

This, this is my boy right here.  Look at this dork with his terrible 70′s fluffy hair, hanging out at the bar with his not-so-hetero life-partner Avalanche.  This was my first introduction to the character (in fact, the cartoon was my first introduction to X-Men in general, and sent me down the path of reading comics). 

This version of Pyro is an established career criminal and professional lackey, usually working for Mystique but not above a bit of robbery or kidnapping on the side if he’s bored.  He and Avalanche are presented as buddies who have probably been working together for awhile.  They first show up in the episode “The Cure,” hanging out on Muir Island waiting for Mystique to give  them orders, then completely screwing up Mystique’s plans when they decide to kidnap the scientist Dr. Adler for extra cash . Apparently Mystique can’t leave them to their own devices for even a day.  

Pyro also hilariously tries to flirt with Rogue by setting a chair on fire and making a bad pun.  It goes about as well as you’d expect:

Get your hands off of her, Pyro, she is too good for you.  (The best part about this is, I don’t think he even used his powers here?  He just tried to impress Rogue as “guy with a flamethrower,” rather than “fire-controlling mutant.”  No wonder she throws his dumb ass through the wall.)

Pyro and Avalanche both show up again later, alongside Blob, creating a distraction so that Mystique can try to assassinate Senator Kelly in the animated series version of the Days of Future Past storyline.  In a much later episode, the same trio cause trouble again to lure the X-Men out so that Mystique can try to win Rogue back to their side.  That episode feels out of continuity to the rest of the series, since a flashback shows Rogue previously working with the Brotherhood (alongside Pyro and Avalanche), but none of them recognize each other when they “first meet” in “The Cure.”  I can assume that maybe Rogue lost her memories in the trauma of absorbing Ms. Marvel, but I don’t know what Pyro and Avalanche’s excuse is.  Frequent head injuries?  Maybe they’re both just really dumb? 

I am fond of TAS Pyro, and he’s probably the closest to comics Pyro out of the animated adaptations, despite being portrayed as British rather than Australian.  He looks fairly similar to his comics counterpart, and fulfills the same role of being a hired pain-in-the-ass that annoys the X-Men, mostly for money, as well as being Avalanche’s BFF.  He’s also clearly a full-grown, experienced adult who’s probably somewhere in his thirties at least, which is about the age I estimate for comics Pyro.  He’s kinda dumb, but practical.  He just wants to commit crimes with Avalanche, get paid, and run away before the X-Men can beat him up.  That’s a reasonable dream, right? 

X-Men Evolution Pyro:

Well, at least the guy loves his work.  I give him an “A” for enthusiasm.

I have mixed feelings about this Pyro.  He’s a lot of fun, but not really the Pyro I know and love from the comics.  This Pyro is one of Magneto’s Acolytes rather than a member of the Brotherhood, working alongside Gambit, Colossus and Sabretooth.  He really, REALLY enjoys setting things on fire, and doesn’t seem to care who gets hurt in the process.  Or rather, he seems to also enjoy people getting hurt, and tends to laugh maniacally while torching things, to the point of seeming really unbalanced.  I can’t tell if he’s completely detached from reality and is viewing things like a video game, without a real understanding of consequences, or if he knows exactly what he’s doing, and just likes to hurt people.  Either way, Evo Pyro seems much less stable than comic book Pyro, who can also be pretty wild and over-the-top in his fights and probably enjoys fire a little too much, but still acts an an overall rational person. 

Meanwhile, Evo Pyro repeatedly watches a video of Magneto seeming to die and laughs hysterically at it:

He is delighted when Wolverine shows up looking for a fight (because he was “bored out of his skull,”), and seems disappointed when Wolverine leaves abruptly afterwards.  It’s interesting that, after Magneto’s apparent death (not really) in Evolution, the other Acolytes all go off on their own, but Pyro hangs out alone in their base, as if he doesn’t really have a life to go back to, or any real identity outside of being “Pyro.”  When the series ends, he is shown in the future as having joined the Brotherhood (with Toad, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Blob and Avalanche), apparently working for SHIELD in some kind of Freedom Force style team.  I’d like to imagine that he’s super cheerful and friendly when he first joins up, and they are all a little bit terrified of him. 

The character design is different, but looks pretty good for a re-imagining of the character.  They’ve remembered the most important aspects of Pryo, namely “scrawny,” “fire colors,” and “crazy blond hair all over the place.”  He also seems to be actually Australian, judging by him using the term “down under” at one point.  In fitting with the “teen X-Men” theme of Evolution, this Pyro looks very young.  If the Brotherhood are all in high school, Pyro looks like he’s college age, like a couple of years older at most.

Like I said, Evo Pyro is fun, and surprisingly popular (I find a lot of Evo Pyro fan-stuff when I’m looking for comics Pyro), but it kinda feels like he got shafted, story-wise.  In both this series and Wolverine and the X-Men, cartoons where the Brotherhood got a bigger role and more development, Pyro didn’t make the cut as a Brotherhood member and wound up in a minor role as an Acolyte.  He feels kind of under-developed, and is mostly there to either be menacing or comic relief. 

Wait a minute....menacing....comic-relief....under-developed.......laughs hysterically at violence......

Maybe Duggan has actually been writing Evolution Pyro in Marauders this whole time?

I don’t want to take anything away from fans of Evo Pyro, but I kinda wonder what we could have gotten if he’d been a Bayville high school student and part of the more sympathetic teen Brotherhood.  Would he have a better developed character?  Would they have made him an annoying twerp like Toad (I say that with great affection, Toad is probably my favorite Evo character) or a smug secretly-insecure hot-shot like Quicksilver?  Or anger issues like Evo Avalanche?  Would they let him keep his original name and nationality, or would he be an American teen with a cutesy on-the-nose name like Ash Embers or Flameo Hotman?    We’ll never know!

Wolverine and the X-Men Pyro:

Again an Acolyte rather than a Brotherhood member, this Pyro has even less development than Evo Pyro.  He shows up in the first episode being rescued from the Mutant Response Division (along with Boom Boom, Dust, and others).  In that scene, he’s clearly meant to be Australian (saying “mate,”), and appears to be on friendly terms with Boom Boom and Dust.  Later on Genosha, he seems to be one of Magneto’s guards/lackeys, and doesn’t appear to mind Dust being thrown in prison.  He’s either a true believer, or is mercenary and practical-minded like comics Pyro, and has decided that following Magneto is his best chance for survival,  Pyro does apologize to Nightcrawler and offer a quick “Nothing personal,” when Magneto sends the Acolytes after him, so maybe he doesn’t revel in his work the same way Evo Pyro does.  The only other notable thing he does is get in trouble for telling Lorna news about Wanda going missing (Magneto is pissed enough to throw him into a cell for that), so I assume that this Pyro is also a massive gossip.  It’s the best I can do with what very little we get of him.  The X-Men don’t seem to have any issue with Pyro (or even recognize him) when they first rescue him, so I’m guessing that he didn’t have any criminal history before joining Magneto in Genosha?  Unlike TAS series Pyro, who’s overall attitude is, “Be gay, do crimes!  And by crimes, I mean arson and kidnapping!” 

I’m not fond of this design.  It’s a nice updated look, and really more stylish than what he’s worn in the comics, but the hair is too douche-bag frat-boy for me, and I can’t get past the little soul-patch on his chin.  Shave that nonsense, Pyro, you can’t pull off facial hair.  He looks older than Evo Pyro but younger than comics Pyro - maybe mid-to-late 20′s? 

This Pyro is sadly kinda forgettable.  I’m not sure why Pyro got largely skipped over as a Brotherhood member in later X-Men cartoons, but the fact that the character was long dead in the comics by the time the cartoons aired probably had something to do with it.  Kinda sad that they wasted the potential they could have gotten out of teen Bobby vs. teen Pyro in Evolution, though. 

(Come to think of it, Gambit got similarly shafted in Evolution and Wolverine and the X-Men, since they pushed him into a minor recurring side-character role.  At least in the original X-Men TAS, Gambit actually got to be an X-Man and main character.)  

Obviously, TAS Pyro is my favorite out of these, but I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.  Nothing wrong with being a fan of Evo Pyro or even the barely there WatXM Pyro, they’re all good!

[bauslut]

as you are | i.

word count: 2.235k

warnings: mentions of sex trafficking, sexual assault, cursing, mentions of child sex trafficking, rapists, arsonists, and serial killers

a/n: hiiiii everyone! so this is a fic that’s been on my mind for the past week or so now, and i felt really inspired to write it! the title comes from the song “as you are” by the weeknd, which will later tie into later chapters. i have watched numerous episodes of criminal minds in the past, and just recently started the whole series over again. so, my apologies if any terminology is incorrect! i hope you all enjoy :))

p.s. - huge shout-out to my best friend @sapphicstars​​​ for always listening to my rambles & the advice along the way. thank you <3

“did you know that today is a very significant day in history?” a young man nudged his coworker, his blonde-toned brunette locks a disheveled mess, “jj, it’s august twentieth.”

a slim blonde let out an exasperated sigh, “what is so important about today?”

“in 1866, president andrew johnson declared that the united states civil war was officially over,” his voice was smooth, brimmed with confidence, “it was a new beginning for america, as the slaves were abolished, but as we all know, there was still much discourse present within the country--”

“spencer,” the blonde sucked in a breath, “there is someone else in the elevator with us. i am sure she doesn’t care about the civil war, nor the fact that it’s august twentieth. after all, it’s been over for centuries.”

“i don’t mind,” a brunette cleared her throat, fidgeting in her boots, “good morning, to you both. i’m rowan rivers.”

“rowan rivers,” the blonde’s eyes narrowed into icy slits, “i don’t know why, but that name seems oddly familiar.”

“it’s because she’s the newest member of our team,” the man cut in, his hazel eyes alight with excitement, nearly toppling the blonde over, “rowan. adaline. rivers. wow. i’ve read so much about you.”

“what did you hear about me? i’m quite curious.” a smirk painted the brunette’s lips.

“you were exceptional in your work with columbus p.d.,” he gushed, “y-you were able to infiltrate the sex trafficking rings and apprehend numerous suspects. and god, your methods are just so pristine and concise. you were able to almost completely obliterate child sex-trafficking in the city. i gotta say, i’m kind of star-struck right now.”

“reid,” the blonde’s tone was firm, “let’s not bombard her. it’s her first day.”

“i don’t mind,” rowan’s eyes shone, alight with amusement, “thank you, dr. reid. maybe we can sit down for a coffee sometime and i can share everything that i can about those cases. it wasn’t easy, but it opened new doors for me in my career. your words are too kind, though. i’m no celebrity.”

“you’re welcome,” his lips curled into a shy grin, “maybe i’ll be the one to give you a tour of our office.”

the elevator doors slid open, the sterile light cascading into the tiny space. rowan tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,  nodding to jj and reid, “after you, please.”

“she’s so polite,” jj’s words were barely audible as she mumbled to reid, “and cute.”

“she’s not cute,” reid countered, “she’s beautiful. a very beautiful, very intelligent woman.”

“well good morning,” a man strolled up to jj and reid, his bright white teeth flashing, “we got a lot of work ahead of us today.”

“shit,” reid muttered, “when’s hotch calling the meeting?”

“oh there’s no meeting,” the man shrugged, his gaze falling on rowan, “i was referring to our newbie.”

“good morning,” rowan offered him a little wave, “i’m--”

the man stepped forward, “oh, i know. you’re miss rowan rivers.”

this newcomer was handsome, an african-american man with warm, bright, mocha eyes. wrinkles etched the skin around his eyes, rowan’s interest piquing as she gazed at him. he must laugh a lot, or even smile often. therefore, he had a more playful personality. perhaps he was the jokester of the team, constantly playing pranks on other members or upholding a constant banter. his hair was cleanly shaven, the light reflecting off of his shiny scalp.

even if his arms were folded across his chest, biceps taut, constrained to the fabric of his plain t-shirt, his aura was kind, only teasing rowan in order to possibly intimidate her.

and boy, was she eager to fire back.

“does everyone know about me?” rowan huffed, her lip quivering into a pout, “i thought that i was going to be able to introduce myself but maybe i won’t have to. i’ll just be this mysterious presence for the rest of the way, lingering about. this phantom that you all seem to know already, but truly know nothing about.”

“shit,” a laugh erupted from the man’s lips, “you got me there. hiya sweetheart, i’m morgan.”

“i would have hoped to at least give everyone five fun facts about myself first,” rowan chuckled, shaking morgan’s hand firmly, “but it appears there’s been quite the buzz in the air.”

“we’re just excited to have you on board,” morgan placed a hand on her shoulder, his tone gentle, “i feel like we’ve all spent so much time around one another lately. it’s nice to have a fresh face.”

“i see that our newbie has arrived,” a new voice cut in, more distinguished, edged with a rasp.

rowan shifted, her throat tightening as an older man made his way towards the group, a smug smile plastered on his face, “h-hi.”

“well hello to you too,” the man let out a chuckle, sticking out his hand, “good morning, ms. rivers. i’m supervisory special agent rossi.”

this face was familiar. one rowan knew all too well. the infamous retired bau agent, a prolific writer and behaviorist, david rossi. even if he was older, and far wiser, he was by far the least intimidating individual rowan had met thus far. his hair was dark, strands of silvery grey prominent. he bore a quaint, kind, smile, his introduction light-hearted.

almost like a father greeting his daughter.

“good morning, agent rossi,” she returned the gesture, “i-i’ve read your book.”

“it seems as if everyone has,” rossi shot her a wink, “so, are you guys going to give her a tour or are you going to make the old guy do it? i mean, i wouldn’t mind, but i have to let hotch know she’s here.”

“hotch?” rowan’s lips parted, “there are more members of the team?”

“you haven’t even met garcia, prentiss, or hotch yet,” morgan remarked.

“and i haven’t formally introduced myself,” the blonde from the elevator piped up, “i’m agent jareau, but you can call me jj.”

rossi murmured a few words to reid before parting from the group, wandering off. rowan’s mind buzzed, anxiety coursing through her veins as jj spoke to her, the sound white noise drowning in her ears. her heart thudding against her rib-cage, palms beginning to clam up.

“i’m so sorry,” rowan placed a hand on her temple, “where’s the bathroom? i just need a second.”

jj blinked, brow furrowing, “a-are you all right rowan?”

“i just need a minute,” the words could barely make it out, the panic setting in.

“i’ll show her,” reid’s voice was hushed as he offered rowan his elbow, “it’s this way.”

roman’s lip trembled, her vision beginning to blur, “o-okay.”

step by step, reid escorted her to the bathroom, the agent even offering to come in with her. rowan accepted, allowing him to follow her into the enclosed space, locking the door behind her.

“you know,” reid cleared his throat, “it’s okay to be nervous, rowan.”

rowan shook her head, tears brimming her lids, “this… this is all so different from columbus.”

“i know,” he murmured, “but we were all nervous on our first day here at the bau. i promise that morgan isn’t that rude and that rossi isn’t a narcissistic asshat. they both come off that way, but they mean well. hell, you haven’t even met hotch yet. he can be cold, but that’s just how he is. you’ll like garcia, i have a feeling the two of you will get along.”

“reid,” rowan exhaled, his name shaky as it tumbled from her mouth, “thank you.”

“please don’t cry,” he pleaded, “profiling is in our nature. i don’t want them to overwhelm you with questions or why you may be upset. things will only get worse and i don’t want them to taint your first day.”

“i’m actually having a wonderful first day,” a giggle bubbled up, echoing off the walls, “you guys all are so welcoming. far better than how i was introduced to columbus police department. they really threw me to the wolves there. the second i set foot in that building, i was thrust into the case. i don’t mind taking things slow.”

“i’m glad,” reid beamed, offering her a wad of toilet paper, “here, blow your nose. also, pat some damp paper towels underneath your eyes. it helps with the puffiness, especially if the water is cold.”

“thank you, again,” facing herself in the mirror, rowan sucked in a deep breath, in an attempt to clear her mind, to soothe the anxiety.

“you look great, by the way. i like the docs.”

“oh,” her gaze fell to the thick black boots, the white laces and seams brighter than ever in the dim light, “i forgot i was wearing them, honestly.”

“a lot more comfortable than heels, right?”

“definitely,” rowan nodded, “my little sister let me borrow them and is never getting them back.”

“they suit you.”

“i feel as if it’s the only way i can really express myself,” rowan shrugged, “i mean, here i am, clad in my cropped dress pants and blazer, white button up freshly ironed, yet happily donning a pair of doc martens on my feet.”

“you know what they say,” reid’s eyes were warm with sympathy, “conformity is boring.”

“quite. i’m ready to meet the rest of the team.”

“good!” reid sprang to his feet, hazel eyes glimmering,  “come on, i’ll show you around.”

slipping from the bathroom, rowan clung onto reid as he strolled about, chirping greetings to numerous individuals as they passed by. the ringing of phones, the flurry of papers, and indistinguishable voices bounced off the walls, filling the space around them. the office was bustling with people, all working together for one cause.

working together to profile, pursue, and apprehend the bad guys. anyone from serial killers, to rapists, to arsonists.

some did the paperwork, while others answered the phone. some were the liaisons for the media. some were the agents. some were specialized in the technology department, but here, everyone was unified under that same singular cause.

“so here is where our desks are located,” reid’s voice flooded rowan’s ears once more, his arm sweeping out to gesture to the array of desks,  “i think we have a desk set up for you, name tag and everything.”

“we have name tags?”

“on second thought,” reid’s brow furrowed, eyes narrowing as they scanned the cluster, “maybe not. i’m not sure. if you don’t have a desk by tomorrow, you can always just share mine. i barely use it anyways. i’m a bit mobile during the day: floating around, listening to tapes, watching footage, bothering hotch.”

“you guys keep mentioning this hotch guy,” rowan pursed her lips, “i’m aware that he’s the leader of the team, as well as a supervisory special agent, but where is he? is he so overloaded that he can’t even bother to say a quick ‘hello’ or ‘welcome to our team’?”

“oh rowan,” reid chuckled, shaking his head, “you have a lot to learn.”

“now what is that supposed to mean?”

“by the way,” rowan snorted as reid avoided the subject, his gaze flickering over her head, “if you’re so eager to meet hotch, he’s over there.”

rowan arched a brow, swiveling on her heel. following reid’s line of sight, her breath hitched on her throat as her eyes fell on the sight of him.

he was standing near morgan and jj, a hand grasping his chin, brows scrunched together, as if he was deep in thought. his dark hair, almost an inky black, was recently trimmed, yet there was a hint of stubble that ghosted his skin. his complexion was fair, jawline framing an utterly handsome face. in the light, rowan couldn’t quite distinguish the color of his eyes. were they a deep coffee brown? a flint grey?

a jet-black suit spanned across his broad shoulders, a red patterned tie around his neck. underneath the jacket was a clean, freshly pressed white shirt, not a wrinkle in sight. his shoes were polished, clicking against the floor as he made his way over to rowan.

aaron hotchner towered over her, no trace of a smile or grin apparent. his aura exuded nothing but authority, his badge clipped to the front of his suit, file in his grasp. yet, his voice was deep, flowing so smoothly from his mouth.

“you must be agent rivers.”

rowan swallowed thickly, “yes, i am.”

his dark eyes locked with hers, his head cocked ever so slightly. her heart lurched as she distinguished the hardened chestnut hue of his irises. the emotion gleaming in their depths was unforgiving, cold and cruel.

“i don’t care if you’re fresh to the unit and this is your first day. wear a different pair of shoes tomorrow.”

“but--” rowan began, desperate to formulate some sort of response.

“hotch,” reid interjected, his tone firm, “you can’t be serious. it’s her first da--”

“and i don’t care,” rowan flinched at the venomous barb laced in the words, “agent rivers, wear a different pair of shoes tomorrow. i just received word from jj about a new case.”

“oh,” reid’s tough exterior crumbled, “well, what are we going to do about it?”

“start with a meeting,” he responded coolly, “as we always do.”

“yipee,” the reply was barely audible under rowan’s breath, hotch’s attention returning to her once more.

“you’re welcome to join us. and you better not trip on those on your way there.”

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

tagged: @sapphicstars​​ @colorlessfl0wers​​

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep10 Thoughts

Thoughts under cut so this post doesn’t run up the tag

- Jabitha having good taste in music muah

- WAIT THE ANTICIPATED JABITHA POPS KISS IS RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING??? I was looking forward to it since it’s the only good thing I heard about the ep and it’s the FIRST THING? Now I gotta sit through this ep-

- “No Jughead’s allowed.” he said NO BUGHEAD thank god but knowing this show they’re gonna find a way to say “fuck you” to him and force more bughead down our throats

- Not Nana Rose saying that the curse doesn’t want Cheryl happy…

- NO SENSATIONAL IS CHONI’S

- REGGIE WITH HIRAM AGAIN???? Riverdale really can’t not have characters who flip flop their thoughts/priorities out of nowhere so they can continue their insane(ly) boring plots… it’s like their goal to is destroy every character they can. Like right now even Veronica, YES, VERONICA, COMING FROM A VERONICA STAN, IS BEING KINDA UNLIKABLE RIGHT NOW, and it’s such an easy fix…

- “You can feel it’s [Riverdale] broken sprit rebuilding.” ….. where

- Suddenly Hiram’s prison is a front for getting palladium Jesus Christ

- You know this show has taken a turn for the worst when Jughead is everyone’s favorite… like even antis???

- Jughead don’t talk about about your superior Stephen King like that

- reggie buttering up to nana rose lmao

- Jughead hasn’t recovered from the bh break up damn… I mean it make sense considering how co-dependent they were to one another

- ugh more forced va bs

- I agree that she needs to talk to Chad but like… does she realize that the only way he got those photos was by ONCE AGAIN having her followed… like I don’t know if it’s just how my brain works but this doesn’t make any sense asdfghjkl;

- It’s making VA more hated than BH for me……. god this is unbearable NOBODY wants them

- Of course Jughead’s drug dealer is named Speedy

- “I’m worried that they’re bad seeds” Betty they’re CHILDREN who’ve been through trauma and absent parenting. They’re still growing and need to be taught to care and such

- Betty stop dating men who want to write about your trauma

- “Your dad was a murderer, but didn’t have the genes. Why?” Because this show is awful and forces awful plots to cater to Betty and Bughead (and now that they’re going back after finally giving us Barchie, the show is boring and awful again)

- THE SLAPPING SOUND FASHDKFSAFHFKJABSDK wow Riverdale a true comedic show

- idk how being a soldier works or anything but how can a mission be shady if the guy running the mission (Archie) doesn’t know about it…? In those crime shows like criminal minds or bones, there had to be one or two soldiers in on the shady part of the mission…. right?

- Reggie in purple tho fuckkk 🤩🤩

- Now Jess is here……… okay-

- TABITHA COMING IN CLUCH FOR JUGHEAD??? oh my goddd

- JABITHA SUCH A COUPLE WHO’S NOT EVEN A COUPLE

- It’s kinda sad but hilarious that Jabitha literally ate up Bh’s seasons of moments in literally just a few episodes

- I love couples who sit against the couch eating and hanging out why did that have to be wasted with Chad and Veronica :( Why not JERONICA or VEGGIE or literally anyone else besides toxic or boring couples

- That edited photo of Veronica and Chad LMAO

- Chad really laying it on thick huh… trying to lure her back in. This is what abusers do………. Now what’s the catch

- Chad and Veronica so toxic but at least they can kiss

- Please…….. PLEASE DON’T BRING PENELOPE BACK WE ARE SICK OF HER!! why are shows so committed to keeping around the same villains doing the same thing?? Literally Penelope, Hiram, Negan from The Walking Dead… we’re TIRED

- NOT REGGIE COMMITING ARSON???

- Alice sending KIDS to answer the door?? ESPECIALLY when they’re not expecting anyone???

- oh yeah I forgot all about Charles and Chic

- STOP! MAKING! ALICE! ASSOCIATE! WITH! CRIMINALS! She deserves so much better

- How convenient that FP is gone too smh

- Charles actor though is FINE.

- Please stop beating up Archie… at least for one fucking episode

- These sound effects are taking me out

- Betty really trying to gate Glen killed huh

- honestly though the “sure you are, babe” watching them be murder boyfriends would be so much more interesting than bh and va being forced down our throats again for another season

- Always gotta have that close up of the mentally unstable criminal closing his eyes and putting the gun next to their temple

- So was Betty not gonna shoot Charles…?

- “My muse” “Don’t be such a Betty” wdym she was the one who always went to get herself into bad situations, YOU we’re the “buzzkill"

- I understand Tabitha’s intentions but isn’t cuffing him more dangerous bc he’s not in his right state of mind and could literally break his wrist, or worse?

- Jughead infantilizing teenage!Betty is fucking disgusting

- WILHEIM SCREAM??

- Penelope acting like she cares

- WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS??????

- The day Veronica’s plot doesn’t revolve around toxic men will be the best fucking day sigh

- People would believe the solider over the higher ups but okay

- thank god no more va for now

- “Fine, have fun.” Why are you being an asshole, Archie? You don’t even love her like the writers were trying to make it seem you were

- oh right Betty abusing her power and taking matters into her own hands

- Oh so I was right in a way…. did he chop off his hand or something? 😭😭

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s04e19 House on Fire - or more aptly named, the episode where Kirsten Vangsness acted her life out through a computer and a phone and I love her.

Episode 19 – House on Fire

Hey guys! So I’m seriously still reeling from how awesome that last episode was. And by awesome, you know I mean that we got to see Shemar’s abs on the actual show and not just those awesome interviews on YouTube.

I’m scared of the name of this one, but let’s see what happens.

Oh lord. He’s setting the fucking movie theatre on fire? Oh god.

They just imitated the movie? Why?

“And they’re sure it’s arson?”

I’m sorry. I can’t focus. Because, for some reason I caught this shot of my poodle’s tongue out, standing behind Derek in a hoodie. I can’t.

“So whoever set these went from no victims to thirty-one in less than two weeks.” Damn.

“Thirty one victims is not accidental.”

And once again, my cupcake is a hundred per cent right.

Tennessee Williams: “We all live in a house on fire. No fire department to call, no way out.”

Well, that is depressing.

“What, arson is a sexist industry?”

Oh honey.

“Apparently, women just aren’t inclined to burn things.”

Ooh, burn.

“Well, we can scratch hero complex off the list. He hasn’t left anyone to save.”

How can someone be so smart and sexy? That’s a crime.

“How’s about I do a background check on all local firefighters and EMTs?” I love how she’s talking in a different lingo. It’s amazing.

“I will look at everything from firebug to flamethrower.”

Love you.

“I will cast a wide net, sir.”

Love her!

Rossi just said he didn’t want this to turn into a witch hunt.

“Sir, if I’m hearing you right, you’re saying I’m the witch hunter.”

Was that Thomas showing through the Aaron façade? Oh god.

“When he strikes again, he’s gonna be aiming for even more victims.”

Dang.

“I also have a third-grade teacher, third cousins, and at least three potential affairs.”

Seriously? Oh my god, no one ever let this lady near the Kardashians.

“With all due respect, sir, my brain muscles are comfortable with being intuitive with information, not people. Looking at people like that is not part of my job description. I’m not a profiler.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to be.”

Wait. What?

Wait. So the fucker lit up a bar while everyone was at the memorial? Damn.

“He really wanted to make sure nobody got out this time.”

God.

“And what good are you guys doing us?”

Hey! Not nice!

“That chain is different than the first two fires.”

Wait. What?

“Now, either we’re looking at an entirely new arsonist or this unsub wanted to make absolutely certain nobody got out.”

“Now, if this is true, that means something changed.”

“Maybe his emotions changed. Maybe his agenda. But something.”

“See, this chain tells us this is the fire that matters.”

“This fire’s gonna help us catch this guy.”

Someone give Derek an award for being awesome.

“Hello?”

“Hey, how’s Miss Smart and Sexy doing today?”

“Fair warning, cupcake. As much as I love you and our witty banter, I am all out of witty and banter and am struggling with love.”

Oh god, I love this.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“I am standing at the crossroads of thirty-one lives and what I see is a train wreck.”|

“You want a little tour? This is what I mean. Here we go.”

“Flip Phillips – he beat his wife. It went on for years. Although you wouldn’t know if you looked at the police reports, because that’s one of the perks of being the mayor.”

Oh honey.

“David Alexander – he sued his boss for five million dollars over something totally lame, and what makes it even more erotic is he was sleeping with the boss’s daughter.”

Oh baby.

“And then there is … where is she? Oh! One of the town councilwomen, now, she had a terminally ill husband and also three boyfriends under the age of twenty.”

“I want to believe that the world is just teeming with awesome people, but all of this is giving me great pause.”

“I want to go back to cyberspace.”

Someone hug this woman and make her marry me.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, not yet. I got a few more names for you.”

Why you gotta be such a wet blanket, baby?

“Please tell me they’re still alive.”

“I wish I could do that, Garcia.”

FUCK.

Someone take this man’s leather jackets. I can’t. I have all kinds of hot black James Dean fantasies going on up in here.

“Or he didn’t attract the attention of the right person.”

Oh boy.

“This type of rage tends to stem from things that people keep buried.”

Oh boy. They’re gonna have to get real up and personal with these townies.

Ugh. I hate burn victims. It’s obvious they’re in pain and I can’t stand it.

I’m seriously staring at this Word document to avoid watching the scene. Fuck.

Linda and Roger Drake.

“Friends? Enemies?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that. They seemed sweet. Their biggest problem was finding baby names. Hilda was pregnant.”

“Are you sure? The M.E. hasn’t even started yet.”

That’s why Garcia’s the best.

So they basically post everything in the ads? Oh god.

“There was a belly watch on Hilda.”

Poor lady.

“Oh, Eric was a boozer.”

Lol.

So he was harmless, too. Hmm.

“What if he grew up in Royal and he moved away?” uh-oh, genius on the scene.

“And then I did some more aggressive digging, which I should remind you, you asked me to do.”

Oh god. I love this lady so much.

So the bar owner’s new wife’s parents died in a fire when she was five? Uh oh. And she had a brother and a grandpa.

So amazing she gets scenes on her own. So proud.

“Sir, I think I have something.”

I love this woman beyond measure. She is so amazing.

Actress and character, before you ask XD

“Granted, I don’t have a medical degree, but my guess is, watching his parents die in a fire didn’t help Tommy’s emotional well-being.”

True.

“What about Tina? How did the fires affect her?”

So there were rumors about how they were too close for social norms. Oh god.

“Nothing was ever confirmed, though.”

“No, it wasn’t. but then, the truth didn’t matter.”

I love emotionally-invested Garcia. Whoo.

“Based on nothing but hearsay.”

“Not true. The school had cause.”

“No, they didn’t.”

Wait. What?

“I spoke to the teacher. She told me how the whole school and the whole town turned against him, based on nothing but a rumor.”

I love this woman.

“So they moved Tommy to a Colorado boarding school, and they cut off all ties between him and his sister.”

Oh lord.

“If what Garcia said is true, then this town’s actions went a long way towards making Tommy who he is.”

Yup.

Where is Tina?

How come I didn’t notice he was so familiar before? That’s fucking Michael Rooker! Oh my god, I love you baby!

“So how mad do you think he is?”

“Well, if I was him I’d be pretty mad.”

“Oh god.”

I love how she takes Morgan’s scale of anger. Love you two.

Wait. She’s worried about Hotch? Oh god.

“I men, he did tell me to dig, right? So I dug. And, granted, I’m not supposed to have direct contact with the public, or purport  myself as an FBI agent. And – OK, I’m definitely not supposed to accuse someone of a felony or even a misdemeanor, especially when I don’t have any actual evidence. Oh god.”

“I did just what they did.”

“I … I based everything on a rumor. I got sucked right in.”

“I didn’t mean to. I …”

Oh god, I love her freakouts.

“Garcia, come on, baby. Stick to Tommy.”

Oh honey.

“Right. Sorry.”

“You couldn’t find him?”

“No, I said the trail went cold, I didn’t say it disappeared.”

And that’s why she’s the boss.

Oh god. Someone needs to get Derek into that lady’s lair and hug her from the inside out. And yes, that was my sweet way of saying that they need to do the horizontal hoedown.

So that brother was just fucked up on the inside and just wanted to love his sister and everyone just made fun of him and hated him. Oh god, poor Tommy.

Poor Tina.

Oh shit! No! Don’t do this, Tommy!

Oh thank goodness.

Francoise Sagan: “I have loved to the point of madness. That which is called madness. That which to me is the only sensible way to love.” Oh god, that is beautiful.

“You guys choose this … turning people over like rocks and looking at all their creepy crawly things underneath.”

Oh honey.

“I want to see the good in people.”

“I choose to see the good in people.”

“And … getting into someone’s mind and trying to find the god-awful thing that happened to them that made them do the god-awful thing to somebody else has seriously impaired my ability to giggle, and it makes my brain all wonky, and I don’t like it.”

“I just wanted to thank you for your excellent work on this case. And I understand that what you did was, for you, very difficult. But your contributions are essential to the success of this team.”

Amazing. So amazing they finally show how much she is appreciated.

In all aspects.

“I know you see the good in people, Penelope. Always.”

“And I would never want you to change that.”

 Oh god. So this episode was amazing on so many levels. It brought out Penelope in so many amazing ways that I can’t even tell you. We got to see Kirsten do her amazing stuff, we finally got to see how much she is truly appreciated in the team. We got to see her as a profiler. I just can’t explain to you how much I love this episode.

And how much did we love Derek in a hoodie? Eh?

Anyway.

As much as I wanted to finish the season today, my body betrayed me and I snoozed for a hwile and binge-watched YouTube the fuck out of my poor computer, so I’m gonna end this right here right now, to my chagrin. And bid you farewell.

It’s nearing 10pm here, and I have work tomorrow, and I still need to do the dishes and get in the shower and get ready for bed or else the poor coffee-starved assholes will have to deal with a bitch. And I don’t want to get fired.

So, I’ll leave the rest of my pictures that didn’t make it into the post above and give you all millions of kisses to show my appreciation xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[nae-maeum]

Criminal Minds...so...just finished the much anticipated and eagerly awaited first episode and lords wherever do I start?? For a show that has original content to refer back to, they did a damn fine job of utterly screwing up everything. As a huge fan of the original Criminal Minds, goodness me, I couldn’t even get past the first five minutes without needing to pause to take a minute to get past the cringe...not the good cringe either, but the “what are you doing did you even do any research like even an inkling of research how can it be so bad from the start” cringe.

I will say this though, there are two good things the drama has going for itself; the first is Lee Joon Gi because his character makes sense and his acting was on point (ish...for the most part, plus I’ll forgive him because well it’s him) and the OST, because omg that song totally captured the mood of a criminal investigation, the star of that first episode indeed.

Oh, also, the overarching mystery/criminal arc sounds really interesting; I just don’t know if I’ll be watching it when that serial killer comes back on the scene, but the killer’s signature is really cool and could make for an epic re-introduction.

But overall, it completely lacked the elements of a good crime drama; there was no suspense, no thrill, nothing; I felt nothing watching it, it was flat from the beginning to end, not a good sign for the rest of the drama.

Warning: major shit post ahead because I cannot go to bed without ranting about the fatal, fatal flaws in this show that would have otherwise been forgiven had they not occurred every two minutes. A very thorough and detailed rant at that as well. 

Before I rip apart that episode, how about we talk a little bit about the characters. If they were going to be so blatant and try to replicate the original characters, they should have put a concentrated effort into making sure that they achieved the characterization. Overall, not one member of the team showed any “profiling” ability and the lack of explanation and train of thought behind the profiling was annoying as hell; especially considering that their so-called “profile” was literally changing scene to scene and there was no evidence to prove their profile right. On top of that, the chemistry among the team, non-existent, period; their group dynamic was just so awkward and watching them work together was just painful, absolutely painful.

Na Na Hwang, aka “Garcia” and her 30 seconds, waah, let’s just not even start in on her because her character is the one that pisses me off the most; Garcia is much beloved in the original series and either the writers or the actress were unable to capture the essence of what made Garcia “Garcia” - just nope and her lack of presence in the episode was just annoying too, great, you’ve got a genius hacker at your service but you don’t use her at all, yup, much sense.

Kang Ki Hyung, aka “Hotch” - first of all, what was with that random flashback to the bombing while he was at the hospital? Did anyone notice a trigger that my sister and I didn’t? The purpose of that flashback at that point was...? Also, the fact that he, like Hotch, has a son and, well, a wife, makes me wonder if they’ll be following Hotch’s story-line in the original series and if so, there had better be more scenes with the son delving more into their, how do i say it...protocol? (I don’t want to give any spoilers) The least he could do was have chemistry with his family, but wow, it was even more awkward than the team dynamic; Hotch was always able to figure out or glean the situation at hand, it’s a occupational hazard, so Ki Hyung’s inability to even profile his wife was just lame.

Ha Sun Woo - No real complaint I guess...other than her profiling of Kim Hyun Joon was so forced and glaringly lacking, but seeing the profiling that followed, I’d have to say it was her best attempt. Also, I just adore how she went after Ma Hyun Tae herself, bravo. 

Yoo Min Young, aka “JJ” - hmm, didn’t see that hint of motherly affection and JJ’s famous empathy at all and, as I will talk about later, has absolutely 0 profiling skills apparently; forget profiling skills, 0 detective skills.

Lee Han, aka “Reid” - Ah, Lee Han...I’m even more critical because Reid is by far my favorite character and I just adore him so and wow Lee Han you were an epic fail. For someone with an IQ of 187 and a doctorate in medicine and psychology, you sure played the part of stupid amazingly well. Again, more on this later, because wow, IQ 187...I’m just at a loss for words.

Again, the team dynamic, awkward, awkward, awkward, and throughout the episode they showed their utter incapability of being profilers, especially before Kan Ki Hyung returned. I wonder if the writers even watched the original series, even a few episodes would have been enough because their depiction of characters and their jobs was just so poorly done; was it too much to even ask that they get consultation from actual psychologists or profilers too? The show just showed a blatant disregard to the profession and just had an overall air of laziness to it.

Now, let’s get into plot points - I can forgive bad acting so long as the plot is good, but here we have a prime specimen of an instance where not only is there bad acting, but a flawed and messy plot.

The bombing incident at the start - Mr. IQ 187, let me tell you a little something about bombs, no bomber makes it simple to disable their bomb so multiple lines are only to be expected and furthermore, the bomb squad is full of highly trained specialists who, if there is a known prototype, have more likely than not actually worked to learn to dismantle it because, after all, it is in very rare instances you’ll find a bomber willing to guide you through a step by step process of how to stop their bomb from detonating; if only criminals were so nice.  Also, what was the rationale behind figuring out where his burn came from and, honestly, standing ovation Ki Hyung, you figured out the bomber was lying to you on how to dismantle his bomb, obviously the non-effect cutting the white line had wasn’t a dead giveaway. And lastly, what was the Commissioner or whoever the guy in the official looking uniform was, doing at the scene and why have a department specialized in understanding criminals if you’re not going to listen to them? This whole incident was the gateway to giving Hyun Joon his tragic backstory and prejudice against profilers, but it was sloppily done and just flaw after flaw.

The profiling method - there is no geographical analysis, no victim analysis and the search for a commonality was meh. How can you profile a suspect if you don’t analyze the bigger picture, try to find out the motives or the psyche? Literally, just watching one episode of the original show would have provided the writers with a comprehensive overview of the logic and method that is utilized to profile. There is a thorough lack of connection between the evidence and the profile and at no point did the profile even match the actual killer, which just makes the whole point of the drama revolving around a group of profilers redundant.

Mr. IQ of 187, do you really need to question if the killer is guilty? I would think a doctorate in psychology would more than equip you with the tools to help understand the why behind the actions of the killer. Also, wow, DID, and your thought process behind that was? If this was the 5th murder and there was no sign of DID previously, STOP JUST SHOVING ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING INTO YOUR PROFILE! LOGIC PLEASE! 

Also, how did Ki Hyung figure out there was a missing victim that was overlooked? The lack of explanation about anything at all was just a piss-off, half the time new information is revealed at a later time (like the sexual assault, my sister and I had spent a good few minutes trying to understand why Lee Han would mention the clothes on the victim when there was no obvious purpose behind the statement), which only adds to the confusion when trying to comprehend the logic and it only reinforced to me the idea that the writers were lazy and just half-assed their script.

And that profile, bravo, honestly just wow Ki Hyung. You figured out the suspect’s height and body shape out of thin air all miraculous like; you’ve no image of the suspect, no footprint to estimate the height from, you know nothing about how the suspect actually disposes his victim’s to guess his build, but I guess you don’t need that because you’re psychic. If only there were people like you who existed in the real world, imagine all the killers who would be caught if we had your skills. Also, does Ki Hyung realize the disjoint between having a job where the suspect works alone to possibly being a salesman? I didn’t realize salesmen worked alone. At what point in their investigation did the team glean that the suspect had paranoia; nothing in his behavior, victimology, anything at all point to this trait. Also, amazing to see that he goes from having family, but ignoring them to having a trauma related to his dead parents, which is it Ki Hyung, he can’t have both. Their profile on the suspect lacked any substantial explanation about the suspect’s behaviour and lacked any clear sense of direction on how to narrow down their suspect list, it’s amazing they were able to narrow it down to one; again, sheer brilliance. 

Also, note to the writers, once an arsonist always an arsonist. Don’t just spew theories for the sake of wanting to sound smart; if the suspect might have committed arson in the past, there would be signs of fire being involved because arsonists derive pleasure from the flames and that urge/instinct does not just disappear. Psychopaths also usually have a history of abusing and mutilating animals in their youth, petty crime and things like car theft make not a killer. 

For a smart killer, he sure chose the most opportune time of striking Na Young just as she was answering her phone. Also, his paranoia was most evident when he oh so easily went down in response to the “Oops I’m sorry I bumped your car” call. If he were paranoid he’d either let it go or ask to leave your contact info on the car, not go down personally, but hey, accuracy of profiles obviously don’t matter in this drama, so long as they catch their bad guy.

And now we come to my absolute favorite part; Mr. IQ of 187 strikes again with his oh so insightful comment of “But this doesn’t look like the room of a murderer!” What were you expecting? Weapons everywhere? Blood stains abound? His victim wrapped up for you neatly in the corner? Really? Really? Good to know a doctorate imparts such wisdom, glad I’ve decided not to pursue a PhD, doesn’t seem to be worth much. This insightful exclamation was then following by his ability to analyze the suspect through his Baduk board, wow. And yes, Min Young, the smart killer who’s evaded capture for 5 murders just neatly and nicely left you his password on a sticky note by his computer; it really is that simple. Who’d have thought you had a tech genius on your side in the form of Na Hwang; someone who should be able to easily help you gain access to the computer? Oh look writers, your poor planning is showing.

To cap of this disaster of an episode, a sudden interest in Ki Hyung is expressed by the victim oh so randomly and 100 to 1, the mastermind is the parole officer. At the very least writers, if anything else, you could build the suspense up better, at least have an itch to know the end of this case be a going factor for you, but nope. There was absolutely no thrill, no suspense, no gasp worthy moments in this episode and I think this will be a re-occurring theme throughout the 20 episodes. Oh what fun to look forward to.