#and i was thinking and you better fucking never forget that you little bitch. im the only one who likes that section and is GOOD at it

[bunnyb34r]

Oh my god

So 6 weeks or so ago BaldBastard tells us to get rid of the black supply tote, we're getting clear cube ones. Whatever.

The cubes are working surprisingly well, the sign holders fit perfectly in them, keeping it neat and tidy. Everyday supplies like tape, masks, and trash bags are in one, lesser used ones in another. Great.

Motherfucker shows up today and goes "you guys need a black tote. Like put the cubes in there. I don't know who told you to use those but you need the black tote."

BITCH IT WAS YOU!!! YOU FUCKING TOOK OUR TOTE AWAY! YOU FUCKING FORCED THE CUBES ON US!!! YOU!!

Then he was bitching ab how we need to liquidate more and it's like uh huh that's gonna work great until the liquidator tells us to stop sending him shit unless it specifically is in liquidation status bc they dont have the fucking money. You know, like what happened LAST YEAR.

AND he and FGM were like "you guys have a lot in the steel..." and RC and I went "no we dont! It's all basics! Trust me! Go look yourself!!!" And then they were like well pull from boxes then. Okay bitch so we're gonna have a full table of one item bc theres nothing fucking new.

I swear to god you could put an actual chicken in charge as our store manager and there would be no difference. No, it might actually IMPROVE.

[t0msvi4gra]

Plsss write a tom step daddy fanfic. And the plot is that the readers mom is a bitch and always treated her badly/abused her. One day her mom marries tom and he becomes her new step dad. The reader is like (18) and tom (29). Since the reader despises her mom she wants to take revenge and fucks around with her husband. (smut and everything/ they do it secretly whenever mom leaves and Tom says stuff like "you're my dirty little secret") IF U WRITE IT MY LIFE WOULD BE SO FULFILLED I'VE NEVER SEEN A STEPFATHER/DAUGHTER FANFIC HERE AND I NEED ITTTT

this is so so so hot

MY SECRET | TOM KAULITZ X FEMREADER

IM BACK GUYSSSSSSS

warnings: daddy name calling, cheating, degrading, praise

youre mom and dad had a huge argument about her cheating on him which had lead to your dad leaving. your mom had full custody of you so you couldnt really see your dad.

ever since your stepdad moved in, you hated him. you griped about how he was trying to replace your father and how he let your mom cheat knowing she was married. but you found him so hot. you could see why your mom saw him.

but it wasnt just your dad that she mistreated, she also mistreated you. she was an alcoholic and she constantly made you do everything.

your mom had to go to work the next day and you had a party to go to. you were wearing, stockings, a short skirt, and a long sleeve low cut top with some heels.

you woke up and picked out all your outfit and got ready. you grab your phone and your bag and you go downstairs, surprisingly tom was sitting on the couch watching whatever and he notices you heading out the door.

“where you think your going dressing like that?” he says getting up.

“im going to my boyfriends birthday party is that a problem?” you say throwing your hands up. “boyfriend? hm well go change them we can talk about it.” he says giving you a little push to go to your room. “dont touch me.” you say shrugging him off. “then go change… or ill have to rip these clothes off of you and make you change.” he says grabbing your waist. “ew! get off of me!” you try to push away, you really did secretly find him hot, you always wondered what it was like to fuck him. “dont lie to me, youve wanted me. the way you purposely bend over to reveal your pussy to me. ive heard you with your little vibrator wishing it was me.” he says as he cups you through your panties.

“youre so wet right now… we wouldnt want your mom to find out now would we?” he pulls you to your bedroom, closing the door and locking it, shoving you on the bed.

“flip over, ass up.” he says unbuckling his jeans. he rips your panties off and lifts up your skirt. his cock pointing at your entrance. “this is for being such a little slut.” he enters you slowly.

“what if my mom finds out?” you say whimpering a little. “shh she wont, youre my dirty little secret hm?” he says clamping his hand over your mouth.

he pounds into you grabbing your hair and pulling it as he takes you from behind. your moans muffle against his mouth.

“thats a good fucking girl. fuck yes youre so much tighter than your mom. she could never compare.” he chuckles as he fucks you raw.

“so much better than that little boy you hang with? answer me!” he says pounding harder, uncovering your mouth. you nod. he spanks you hard, “ use your words. i want to hear you.” he groans as you speak. “youre so much better than the boys i hang out with. bigger cock.. bi- im gonna cum daddy..” you whimper as you feel his cock slam against your cervix. “just a few more seconds babygirl.” he says as reaches around to rub your clit.

“daddy! i really need to cum! please!” you cry out as you squirt and cum all over your bedsheets. he releases his huge load inside of you as he slows down.

“now..” he says catching his breath. “forget about that party, let me hold you.” he says laying down, pulling you into his arms.

[selfishmachinez]

About time I found someone who writes for mammon !! With that being said, I’d like to ask for him with a service top/dom reader? N maybe near the end once we’ve pleased him he returns the favor via oral ? ^^’

MAMMON WITH SERVICE TOP!READER

notes: HIIIHII THIS IS LITERALLY PERFECT??? GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET RN I LOVE THIS LITTLE THING SM☺️☺️ also im so sorry about the wait i got sick and didnt have inspo for like a day😔

warnings: not writing mammon's accent sorry💔 idk how to write accents properly just imagine it in ur mind idk; mammon being an asshole (hey, its mammon.); afab reader; insults like cunt/whore/bitch etc are still used in a gn way tho; my gf proofread like 80% of this if theres any typos blame her not me /j

word count: 1,510 (not including a/n)

NSFW UNDER CUT

okay lets get this straight

this man can NOT be a good dom

he's literally the single of greed what do you expect

our little pillow princess /hj

okay imagine this: after fizz quit, he's obviously PISSED OFF, so u do a little favor for him (wink wink)

Normally, during his Clown Pageants, you'd just sit next to him and the fizzbots on his web, watching the contestants try to win the crowd over, just to miserably fail, and watch Fizzarolli win... again.

This one had to be the most interesting one so far. Fizzarolli quit. And insulted Mammon too. He was pissed, to say the least.

You left the web a while before he "exploded" the Theatre and entered his office.

"That little bitch!" He shouted, bursting inside the office, not in full demon form anymore.

"Mam, the door." You warned him. But yeah, he pretty much already broke the door. Whatever. He's got the money, he'll get it fixed later.

He sat down on his bean bag next to you. "Can you believe it? I made that cunt! And he just walks out the scene like that!" He bitched, sitting down next to you. "That ungrateful, useless, little-" You shushed him before he could finish his sentence. "WHAT?" He growled at you.

"I think you need to, y'know, relax a little. You know what I mean?" You said, giving him the look. His eyes widened a little at the statement. "Just sit back and enjoy yourself, okay?" You said, running a hand under his motley.

"Fuck." He groaned. He was trying his hardest not to just rip his clothes off. He had a tough day. He needed this. He needed you. Your touch.

You run your hand down his pants, pulling his cock out. He was so painfully hard already. "You're this hard already? All because of me huh? You just love the attention, don't you?"

"Just- fuck, don't make me beg, you cunt." He moaned out, leaning back against the bean bag.

"Alright, boss," you said, your voice dripping with lust. You knew how much of a whore he was for that type of nickname.

brief interruption☝️ i hc his dick is about 10" (HAVE YOU SEEN HOW BIG HE IS ofc hes gonna have a huge cock) and has the same colors as his tongue (purple/periwinkle with dark yellow stripes) AND HELLA GIRTHY TOO HELLO????? CONTINUING,

You gently grip his cock, tracing circles on his tip with your thumb, causing the tiniest drop of pre-cum to leak out. "You like this already? Gosh, you ain't gonna last a second like this." You teased, beginning to stroke his dick at painfully slow rate.

"Doll, please," he panted out, in the most ridiculous fashion ever.

"Don't be greedy, Mam." You chuckled, he was so cute begging like this. "I thought you said you wouldn't beg."

"Maybe if you did a better job at this, bitch." He grunted.

"Do you want me to stop?" You said, softening your grip around his member, causing him to panic a bit. "No! Don't!" He begged, tugging at your sleeves with his bottom pair of arms. "Doll, c'mon. Don't leave me hanging."

"Hm," you wrapped another hand around his dick. "Fine, since you're being such a good boy." You'd have some work to do now. Giving him handjobs was always such a handful, no pun intended. Since he's big, a single hand was never enough. You thought about it for a while, forgetting what you were doing in the first place. "So?"

"Right. My bad." You got back to it quickly though; moving your hand up and down his member at a quicker pace, making him pant and whimper under your touch.

You wanted to give him a blowjob. Should you, though? Yes. Definitely. Even though the back of your throat would hurt horribly afterwards.

Your hands are quick to let go of him, making him tilt his head in confusion. "Whatcha doin'?" His confusion died down swiftly after he saw you kneel in front of him, pulling his pants down. "Don't." He said, grinning as he just ripped them off himself, spreading his legs. "Good boy." You mumbled, kissing his length.

While one of your hands rested on his inner thigh, rubbing gentle circles on it with your index finger, your tongue went from his base to his tip, feeling every little vein on the way up there.

"Fuck, pumpkin." He moaned, grabbing the back of your head. "Please." He lifted your head up to make you look at him. He gave you the most pathetic grin ever, sweating his ass off.

"Don't be a baby." You kissed his tip, making him moan, covering his mouth with his hand.

After teasing and edging him for a good 5 minutes, he had enough of that. "Just- ugh, please." He groaned, tugging at your hair. "Do it already. Ya teasing me too much."

"Stop being a brat, whore." You shut him up with that. "Good." Finally, you got to work. Though you only swallowed his tip at first, he was already a mess. But you had to keep going; you force yourself down his length as best as you could, licking and sucking on him. That was definitely not enough though, so you grab the part you couldnt get down your throat with your hand, caressing his base.

"Close. 'M so fucking-" He groaned, sending down little electric shocks. Oh, yeah, he does that sometimes.

another interruption, i hc him an being a ballooning/joro spider, since he kinda looks like one and they use electricity like him‼️ okay CONTINUING ONCE MOREEEE,,,,,

You took your mouth off him for a bit, gasping for air. "You're being so greedy, you know that?" You grinned at him. He looked like such a mess right now. Panting and sweating. But by god, did he look adorable like that. You go back to just gently licking down at his member, looking him in the eyes.

"Pumpkin, please, 'm so close- fuck..."

"Is that so? Hm?" You mumbled, kissing his base gently, going back to patting his tip with your palm. He greedily humped your palm, eager to cum.

He kept on buckling against your palm until he moaned loudly against his hand. "I'm gonna..." You pulled your hand away from his tip, letting him cum all over your face. He slumped down on the bean bag, gasping for air louder than he had to.

You sigh, getting up to grab some tissues to get you both cleaned. He calls you, "Yes?" You reply.

"Y'know, I could 'pay you back'." He grinned, getting up and grabbing you by the waist. "Ya just calmed me down, guess I owe you a little favor." Without warning you, he grabs you and throws you (as gently as he could) back on the bean bag, leaning on top of you, licking his own cum off your face.

"Cleaning the mess you made with your tongue like that? You slut." You fiddle with his jester hat. "What are you gonna do, huh?"

"Just trust me, sweet cheeks." He mumbled, taking your pants/skirt/shorts off. Oh. Was he gonna..? Normally, he wouldn't really pay you back, not that you wanted him to. You were perfectly fine with just pleasuring him. "You don't have to."

"I want to. Are you gonna let me do my thing, yeah?." He grumbled, taking your underwear off with his teeth. God.

"Mhm, yes sir." He kissed down at your v-line, making you tremble slightly.

a/n, i tried to hard to write an amab version but god im horrid at this

also holy shit have you seen his tongue

he def knows how to use it for good

im wet i mean who said that whaaaatttt🤯

He gently licked down at your clit. Once, twice. Then stopped. "Why'd you..?" But he shushed you by shoving a finger inside you. "Ya like this?" You answer with a weak moan, which he took as a "yes".

So, he put another finger in, scissoring them inside you. He sucked on your clit, making you moan and squirm. "Use... your tongue."

"Hm? What?" He pulled out, looking up at you, a wide grin spread across his face.

"You know what I mean." He looked back down at your cunt. You squished his face between your thighs. He took his fingers out, licking them before replacing them with his much longer and thicker tongue, making you whimper. Loudly. He moved his tongue inside you. Up and down, left and right, in and out.

It was rare for him to give you oral, but when he did, it felt like heaven. He pulled out, panting. But you shoved his face back there. He couldn't stop. Not now.

He quickly went back to eating you out, needily thrusting his tongue in and out your pussy.

"Good fucking God, Mammon-" And there he goes again, pulling his tongue out. "Why'd you stopp..." You whined. He looked down at your puffy and wet cunt. "Shouldn't have teased me earlier."

"What, but- but you know you like it!" Your tone dripped with desperation. You needed to cum so badly. Would he give you the satisfaction that early though? Obviously not. Not out of selfishness, he just had to give you a good orgasm. Like the one you gave him. "Mhm..." He huffed against your entrance, gently shoving a finger in while licking your clit in a circular motion.

He did so for a good 5 minutes, before adding a finger, then another one. You couldn't take it anymore. He was overstimulating you so much. You aggressively tugged at his hat, forcing him onto you even more. He took two fingers out, replacing the latter with his tongue.

You definitely couldn't take it anymore. "Mammon, I'm gonna..." Finally, he let you cum. Not that you let go of him for a good 10 seconds though. You gripped at his hat, still riding out your high.

"See, told ya I'd pay you back."

[the-flaneur]

hello my very helpful assistant 😄 flan's busy cooking up something in her dru- sorry, very ethical laboratory. anyways, here's how you can help her today:

ENTER ONLY ONE OF THE FOLLOWING LABS

LAB ONE

☆ write a brief description of what you want the request to feature (can include smut, kinks, dialogue and more) as well as the driver

LAB TWO

☆ from below - pick a flask, choose a label, select up to four chemical compounds, choose up to three catalysts and call out who the other assistant is (driver: im down to do anyone or the grid or "recently" retired)

☆ NOTE: the final item is very important, so please never forget it, otherwise flan won't be able to start the reaction

SOME REQUESTS WILL BE 18+ and ALL REQUESTS will available under the tag (see below) #chemical attraction ♥︎

all of your concoctions/requests can be made to my asks or inbox (here), and i'll get to producing it as soon as possible.

EXAMPLE REQUESTS

hi flan! with lewis hamilton and a boiling flask labeled with a sticker i am looking to mix together, fluorine, calcium, arsenic with nail polish.

thank you <3

flask

conical: fluff

boiling: smut

round-bottom: hurt/comfort

label

sticker: fic

marker: drabble

washi tape: smau

ribbon: texts

hairtie: combination (please specify)

chemical compounds

hydrogen: "oh, shut up." "you shut up." "make me." "okay, but you might moan a little."

helium: "i'm not the jealous type, but what's mine is mine. end of story."

lithium: "don't kink shame me"

beryllium: "we shouldn’t do this" "you’re absolutely right. we should not do this"

boron: "you're so cute when you pout like this"

carbon: "move my arm is falling asleep"

nitrogen: "the problem is, if i kissed you, i don't think i'd be able to stop."

oxygen: "you've ruined that song now, thanks."

fluorine: "don't talk with your mouth full"

neon: "if you can’t take it, why did you talk back"

sodium: "fucking is a reward, but you haven’t been good.”

magnesium: "is it really that hard to love me?"

aluminium: "why aren't you dating him?" "because i'd destroy him" "he seems like he'd be into that"

silicon: "i know they're just stuffed animals, but it feels like they're watching us"

phosphorus: "you know, i could always get you off here right now"

sulfur: "you deserve so much better than me" "stop lying"

chlorine: "give me a little show"

argon: "why are you being like this?"

potassium: "watch you mouth before i decide to spank your ass"

calcium: "it's going to sound controversial, but i think that went well"

scandium: "oh my god are you actually reading the terms of service?"

titanium: "the next time you pull something like this, i'm telling your mother what we did in vegas that one time"

vanadium: "if you don't like being called a whore, then stop acting like one."

chromium: "everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you."

manganese: "i might have slept with your shirt while you were gone"

iron: "i'm not moving, your lap is comfortable"

cobalt: "please..." "you need to learn to be better with your words, don't you think? tell me what you really want,"

nickel: “are you my cum dump?”

copper: "you're not allowed to touch my pussy"

zinc: "you could've just told me"

gallium: "are you trying to flirt with me?" "is it working?"

germanium: "if i buy it, will you stop pouting?"

arsenic: "you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match."

selenium: "how long have you been covering/covering up this?"

bromine: "you're like my arm rest'

krypton: "i know i'm warm, but we really have to get up now"

rubidium: "you’re starting another cult. you bitch."

strontium: "it’s broad daylight, if someone looks up they'll see you pressed against the window."

yttrium: "you're not alone i promise"

zirconium: "im sorry but i'm done waiting"

niobium: "i promised to give you something, but i didn't promise it would be an orgasm."

molybdenum: "i'm bad at texting, so i always hope that you're the first one"

technetium: "let me take care of it. let me take care of everything"

ruthenium: "is it a bad time to tell you i have [your phobia]"

rhodium: "im so horrible to you" "no you're not"

palladium: "why is there rope next to the bed"

silver: "i don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow.”

cadmium: "you dumbass, don't ever do that again"

indium: "would you like to explain..." "no, but maybe there is something I could do to make you forget about it?"

tin: "i know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.”

antimony: "after all this time and you still can't look me in the eye"

tellurium: "i can't remember the last time i did something so fun with someone"

iodine: "i was expecting a written apology, but this is so much better"

xenon: "i have a headache and it looks just like you.”

cesium: "stop throwing things at me"

barium: "do you really think you can get away from me?"

lanthanum: "do you trust me" "no" "smart"

cerium: "i like the way your hand fits mine"

praseodymium: "because i care about you"

neodymium: "i trusted you...with everything"

promethium: "if you stay, you'll get hurt too"

samarium: "would you have believed me if i did?"

europium: "don't make promises i know you can't keep"

gadolinium: "can you please just hold me?"

terbium: "can i bother you for a sec?" "you always bother me, but go ahead"

dysprosium: "you cancelled plans for me?"

holmium: "my clothes look better on you that they do on me"

erbium: "i dont like it" "you don't like anything" "well i like you and [you specify]"

thulium: "no tickling, or no kisses"

ytterbium: "did i mean anything to you?"

luteium: "does your daddy know you call me daddy too?"

actinium: "n-no, don't cry. i hate it when you cry"

thorium: "but you have me now"

protactinium: "please don't go"

uranium: "i’m literally naked on your bed and you’re talking about work?”

neptunium: "you're hurt, let me take care of you"

plutonium: "you're staring" "i like seeing you happy"

americium: "stay...please"

curium: "i...i just needed to know you were ok"

berkelium: "you'll back off if you know what's good for you"

californium: "didn't you say we were friends"

einsteinium: "this is why we can't have nice things"

fermium: "not out here please"

catalyst

flan: au [request a specific one]

red pill: sub!character

blue pill: sub!reader

glue: dom!reader

lip balm: dom!character

lemon juice: driver!reader

sand: idiots in love/denial

salt water: crack fic

bath water: size kink

soap: exes to...

bubbles: fix it fic/sickfic

nail polish: daddy kink

shampoo: overstimulation

lotion: possessive/jealous sex

slime: accidentally launching relationship

copper coin: cnc/dubcon

flowers: leaving the window open/door unlocked

silver jewellery: age gap

gold jewellery: miscommunication

rock: neighbours

paper: love triangle

plastic bag: enemies to...

tissue: rivals to...

ink: 100% platonic friendship

foam: found family

water babies: secret admirer

ceramic: forced proximity

yarn: roommates

water: childhood friends to...

fruit: married couple/established relationship

beads: fake relationship

heat: brother's best friend

ice: best friend's brother

bark: body swap

grass: reverse tropes [specify]

© the-flanuer || do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platform.

[narcolini]

white room - pt. 1

johnny davis (the bikeriders) x reader, 18+, canon typical themes and language, 2.8k words, 1 of ? johnny as a miserable bisexual divorcee and reader as someone too chilled and lonely to give a fuck a/n: it's written to be gender neutral, but there are a few references implying they may be afab (not overkill its just a very gendered landscape)

“Go fuck your good self, then.”

The door slams behind you and the window pane shakes with it, piece of shit car that it is, with an equally large turd of a guy running the thing. 

“Crazy bitch,” is the cab driver’s goodbye call, and yeah, maybe. But he’s the one dumping you in the wrong end of town—and after dark, no less. All you’d done was get a cab after a party, knowing you left all your cash in one of the boots under your bed, with the mad hope that the guy behind the wheel might just be kind enough to let you ride along on a promise. You had every intention of running upstairs to get him his fee, while he kept the engine running, mind you, but that uptight jack didn’t wanna hear a thing about it. Even had the nerve to ask you to comp him 'with those pretty lips o’ yours’, which is round about where you started calling him a filthy no-good perv, and he started pulling over in the middle of nowhere. 

Now you’re standing in the dark in nothin but your too-cheap denim jacket, that you never should’ve bought ‘cause you got shirts thicker than this, staring at a corner side bar that’s almost definitely filled with a hundred more of those cab driver types. Not in the driving sense, but in the fuck anyone that isn’t a man like us sense, you know? 

But what can you do? It’s in there, or out here, and you’re not in the shoes for walking, never mind running, so it’s not much of a choice at all.

You go up in a way like you been here before, like you know the name of the place even though the paint’s chipped off and the light ain’t lighting anymore, and in the time it takes to cross the street, you see three guys go in, three come out, and not a single woman or anyone else, so much as look at the place. It’d be a lie to say your heartbeat was going a speed anywhere near close to normal. Which is another thing you try and hide as you push through the door into the chaos of it all. 

It’s not a bar, it’s a God damn wolf den. 

You make it two steps and already you seen enough beer, and enough skin, and heard enough dogwhistles to consider just how bad it could really be to run barefoot across town. Your feet would only hurt a little bit, right? They seen you now though, and with the amount of bikes they got lined up outside, you wouldn’t even make it to the next block before one of them caught up to you. And then what? Might as well try talking wolf while you’re in here, better that than squaring up with one of them in some stinking alleyway.  

“You got a phone, big guy?” you ask, to the first one that really looks at you. He’s a head taller than you but it seems like that head’s spinning, so you figure he needs a little more explanation to get going. “Behind the bar or something? A payphone?”

He takes a while to reply, like you’re speaking some other language, then he says, “I got something you can ride, honey.”

And now you’re back in the cab all over again, and you’re still going fuckin' nowhere.

“Forget about it.”

You shove past him, and another two men smelling of liquor, until you can plant both hands on the edge of the bar and speak to the owner directly. At least, you think it’s the owner. Cause he’s stood back there, with a towel slung over his shoulder, and he’s the only one giving all of these animals their liquid feed for the night. 

“Hey," you start, “do you got a phone? One I could use?”

Instead of answering, he looks right over your head. Imagine that, like you ain’t there at all, right over and into the space behind. It takes a second, but then you realise it’s not just bad manners, it’s only that there’s someone else coming up to the back of you who’s much more important, to him anyway. 

And now, that’s a guy you look twice at.

He’s not tall, but he’s not short neither, something in the middle that suits you just right, if it mattered. Face like he’s seen some things too, but his hair’s combed all neat like he hasn’t seen nothin. If it weren’t for the bent pinky on his one hand and the scar on his knuckles across the other, you might think he was some sort of regular guy. But he got a walk like he owns the place, more than the barman, that's for sure, and the shirt he’s wearing is plastered with the same exact name as the rest of all these guys: VANDALS. Doesn’t take much to figure that he’s top dog of them. Vandal of the Vandals.

He slides right up to you like you asked him to, sitting his forearms on the edge—next to where your hands are. 

“Nah,” he says. Just like that. Nah.

You feel like laughing. “No?”

“Nah,” his head shakes, “you don’t wanna be in here.”

If it’s advice, it kinda feels like a threat and, well, if it’s a threat, it sorta feels like advice. A decent bit of it at that, cause he is right. You don’t wanna be in here. 

“Don’t want doesn’t make up for need,” you tell him. “And I need to use a phone, if you got one.”

“What for?”

“A cab?” Then you do laugh. “What? You worried I’ll ring your bill up by calling international?”

He makes a strange, sorta dismissive noise as he’s pushing off from the bar. “Worried you’d call some little boyfriend of yours,” he mumbles, then he walks round to the serving side and pulls a phone from under the lip of it.

“No boyfriend, sir. Just a mighty need to get home.” And the fuck outta this place.

He picks the handset up, spinning the dial without asking you for nothin, his eyes sitting on something you can’t see right in front of him. A number maybe. “Not many drivers will pick you up from here,” he says. "This one…yeah, well, you can try it.”

Any hope you had is fast disappearing on you. “That bad, huh?”

He passes you the phone, the twisty cord going all the way straight just to reach you. 

It connects as you put it up to your ear, and some lady with a voice all too quiet for telephones greets you on the other side, rushing you to the point before you can even try and warm her up a little.

"Hi, yeah, so I need a cab but I won’t be able to pay the guy until we get there, is that something your—hello? Hello?” You tut. The empty tone in your ear is a stinging slap to the face, right there, right across the cheekbone. “Motherfucker,” you say, but she’s already all the way gone. She didn’t even hear you out.

And this guy? Well he’s smiling when you look back at him, doing an awful bad job at pretending like he ain’t been listening. “Yeah," he clears his throat to hide a laugh he won’t laugh, “you should’a said you had no money. No cab’s gonna—”

“I know,” you snap. “Still had to ask though, didn’t I?”

He shrugs, nodding at sorta the same time like he agrees with you, even though his face is fixed like he don’t agree at all. Like you’re awful naive for thinking they might even listen to you in the first place.

“Guess I’m walkin’ then,” you decide. You pass him the handset, but he’s too slow to take it, so you go on your toes to lean over and put it back yourself. Hard and pissy with it. Shitty taxi service. Shitty phone. Shitty bar.

“You want a drink?”

Your heels hit the floor again. “What?"

He puts his hand out like he works here now, pointing to all the dingy bottles waiting behind him. “A beer…or?”

“Yeah," you test, “what’s the or?”

“Or,” he says, slow with it, "you sit round drinking nothin’ and wait until I can take you home.”

Your brows shoot up like he’s told a lie bigger than any you’ve ever heard. “You gonna take me home?” you ask, thinking yeah, he’s gonna take you home, and you’re gonna be the next big Santy Claus. 

He nods and it keeps going, like his head gets away from him. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, I can give you a ride.”

For a second, you find yourself worrying about it. “That code for something else?”

He pulls a pack of cigarettes from his jeans and sets one in-between his lips. “No. S’just a ride.”

You watch the lighter flip, the cigarette catch. Watch him take a drag and blow it out again. He isn’t acting drunk, and he don’t seem like he cares either way, whether you take a ride from him or not. All he seems bothered about is finding the end of that smoke, and popping the cap off another beer. 

If these are wolves, then he’s the oldest of them. The most tired and nicked with battle scars. From where you’re standing, that makes him the least threatening too, cause you come with a whole load of baggage, and he looks like he’s got even more than that. And anyone with all that shit on their shoulders? Yeah, they’re not gonna be no sort of trouble at all. They just wanna get home at night with their head pinned on straight still.

"Well alright,” you say. “I’ll take a beer and the ride, too.”

“Beer and a ride,” he grumbles back, not moving the cigarette and losing his words because of it. “I’m Johnny."

“Johnny?”

He nods, handing you the beer he just readied for himself. 

“Thanks.” You give him your name the same way he gave you his, and he says it back to you, the way you did with him, though you know you didn’t mumble it the first time. He heard you just right. “This the part where I tell you how far away I live, and you say actually, I don’t got the gas for that, right?”

“How far d’you live?”

“Other side of town.”

He shrugs. “I got gas enough.”

And that’s how you end up on the back of his bike, clinging on like some sort of koala bear thing, with the town going past like it’s made of nothing but air, cold, loud, air. Flooding your ears and the collar of your jacket, even the ends of your pants are filling up with it. Going so fast nothing feels like anything, only that, everything feels of everything. Way too much. By the time you’re pulling up to the house, your head’s spinning like you had ten beers, not two, and he has to offer his hand just to get you off in one piece.

“God,” you say, “does it feel that crazy every time?”

He looks like he wants to smile, but something inside don’t let him. “Guess so.”

“Well, you got bigger balls than me, that’s for sure.”

Then he really wants to smile, you can see it in the little crinkles by his eyes. “Night, kid.”

“Not a kid,” you tell him, cause you lived through too many years of shit to not get the respect an adult deserves, plus, you ain’t even that much younger than he is. Anyone without a stack of lines down his forehead must look like a kid to him. “Thanks for the ride. You really saved my ass.”

He waves it off, like it really was nothin, though actually it was a pretty big something, a real good favour. “Ah. Wasn’t gonna let nothin’ happen to you.”

“Oh yeah? Saw me walking in like some sort of square and the alarm bells went ringing?” 

“Yeah. Like that.”

You hum a little, shrugging while you think on it. “I could’a handled myself,” you tell him. Which isn’t all the way the truth, but it’s not too far from it neither. You can get mean when you have to.  

“Maybe, but you didn’t have to, did you?” He kicks the bike to life again, and there goes that engine, so loud his ears must be working half as good as they should be. “See you around,” he says.

You nod. As far as last words go, those are some pretty boring ones, but it’s later than late now, and you’re not feeling like standing outside any longer until one of you comes up with something better. So he gets a “see-ya” and that’s the last thing either of you will ever say to each other, cause when are you ever gonna find yourself in the middle of some roughed up, leather wearing, bike club, ever again? 

____

Well. Turns out you got a whole lot wrong when it came to figuring Johnny out. Not even a full day goes by, and you’re hearing that rumble, that big bru-bru-bru, clattering noise coming right back down your street. And Mrs Saccone, who’s normally deafer than deaf, is banging a broom on your wall telling you to get rid of it. To get rid of him. Can you imagine? Old lady, never done nothin wrong in her life, as far as your Pops ever knew, and suddenly, big mean man on a bike, sitting outside and ruining her TV dinner. 

You couldn’t get out there fast enough. Half-dressed, you know, you were ready to settle down for the night. Work stuff off and replaced with those big, old man type boxer shorts. If it weren’t for the bathrobe, wrapped all up round yourself, you’d have blushed so hard it’d burst a blood vessel.

“You forget something?” you ask, parking your feet and slippers right onto the concrete next to him. “I got neighbours, you know.”

He frowns, pursing his lips as he looks you over. “I wake you up?”

“No. But I’d be lying if I said you weren’t disturbing my peace.”

He nods, still running that engine, one foot on the ground to keep him in one place there. It goes so long without him saying nothin that you start thinking maybe it’s your turn, and you forgot which one of you spoke last or something.

“Can I help you, Johnny?”

“Let me take you out,” he says. Not a question, but not bossy with it neither, just ‘let me’. If he’d said it like an order, you would’ve told him to stick it where you told the cab driver to stick it last night, but he seems to know better than that.

You pull the robe tighter, right up to your neck. “I’m not going back to that bar,” you tell him.

“No, not there.” He flicks a gloved hand over the bars of the bike, imagining some fancy, high-class sort of place, right there in front of him. “Somewhere nice. You and me.”

It’s a good thing your mother is on a whole other continent, because without thinking much about it at all, you say, “Alright, sure. You can take me out.” 

He smiles, and it might not be, but it feels like it’s the first one he’s shown you, all real and bunched up in that stubble of his. “You should go get dressed then.”

You feel the life drain right out of you. “We’re going now?”

“I’m here." He shrugs. "So, yeah, why not?”

“You know most people would hate you for that,” you say, “giving a person no warning.”

The bike goes quiet then, and he swaps the keys for a pack of smokes in his pocket, leaning back like he got all the time in the world. “D’you hate me?” he asks.

“I might.”

“Oh, might.” He says it back like you don’t mean it, and won’t mean it, with another one of those funny throwaway noises following on after it. “I’ll take my luck with might.”

And what d’you say to that? Nothin, you say nothin, all you can say is, “Give me ten minutes.” 

Then you’re trotting back up the porch steps, hoping Mrs Saccone isn’t peeping through the curtains, and wondering what the Hell you’re gonna put on that’s any kind of suitable to go to a nice place with a Vandal on your arm. 

If it weren’t your life already, you wouldn’t believe any of it. This time just yesterday, you were at some square neck, office party, saying goodbye to some upper-level fucker—who never learned your name, and didn’t even thank-you for the half serious farewell note you left in the communal goodbye card—and tonight? God, if you weren’t so used to shit going unusually, you’d be pinching yourself. Real hard, too. 

Some man called Johnny, who you don’t know from Adam, swinging by to pick you up on his motorcycle. Yeah, ‘crazy bitch’ really is starting to feel like an appropriate title for you to have. Who would’a known?

........................

part two here

tagging: @drabbles-mc @garbinge

[sturniolosangel]

escapism-matt sturniolo (18+)

masterlist

warnings: drinking, cursing, kissing, break up, partying, drugs, use of pet names, choking, creampie, unprotected sex (please wrap it before u tap it), oral(f receiving), confession?, little bit of soft dom matt not proofread like always🙉

summary: reader gets broken up with, after a little drinking she ends up at matt’s door. will he give in to her thoughts?

i wake up with tear stained cheeks and my hair all messed up. i get out of bed looking at myself in the mirror. god i look a mess over some guy. i sigh as i get up texting my friends we’re doing out tonight and they all agreed.

as i got into the shower i was just thinking was i upset that he broke up with me or that i wouldn’t have a boyfriend anymore? i laughed as i got out. i was still hurt but it is what it is. i needed to get forget about him and move on.

as i got ready i put on my favorite black dress that my ex would never let me wear. felt so good to do whatever i want and god did i look good. it was strapless so my boobs were pushed up and my figure looked amazing.

i sat down at my vanity putting on my makeup and doing my hair. i just have forgot how much of a bad bitch i was because damn i look good. i facetimed one of my best friend nala telling her i was ready to go and ill be on my way to her house.

as i hopped in my car connecting my phone to aux playing the hills by the weekend turning the radio up. i got to my friends house getting out the car an walking in i didn’t need to knock. she gave me a hug “girl im sorry his ass broke up with you he was an asshole anyway. moving on to bigger and better things” she spoke.

“and i hope bigger dicks too” i replied giggling. “you ready to go!” she said excitedly. i nodded as she ordered the uber. as the uber arrived she locked her door and we walked outside into the uber. “everyone should already be on there way” i said looking up from my phone. she nodding sliding some pill on her tongue i’ve never seen before. i shook my head smiling at her knowing she was in for a ride tonight.

about an hour later im a couple shots deep since my group of friends kept ordering them an who was i to say no. my body was now almost numb but in a good way, a freeing way.

on the dance floor me and nalas bodies pressed together as we danced to music in the background. nala grabbed my phone from my pocket going to snapchat and recording me bending down and twerking on her. she posted it to my story giggling giving me my phone back.

i giggle back singing along to whatever song was playing as i walked to the bar. i got another drink sitting on a stool scrolling through instagram when a certain someone’s post came up. matt sturniolo a guy i used to flirt and hook up with before i got a boyfriend and man did he look extra fucking fine.

all of a sudden i got hot and sweaty as a wet patch grew in between my thighs thinking about our past experiences. i started to get needy for something i didn’t even know. i needed to go see him. he wouldn’t even be shocked if i pulled up to his house because we used to always show up out of nowhere just to fuck. god was i really this drunk?

i called nala over to me and said i was gonna leave and she gave me a hug goodbye before sliding a bag of pills and a condom into my purse i laughed at her as she walked back to our friends.

matt.

matt

matt.

was all that rung through my head. i hoped into my uber debating it i should take the pills but then i realized girl wtf no. it was hard to not move around to create friction being drunk and horny.

the uber parked right outside his apartment i opened the door as i grabbed my bag and walked to the door. i knocked on the door hope his brothers weren’t home. the boy i’ve been needy for half the night answers the door.

“princess what are you doing here?” matt spoke rubbing his eyes. i could melt just from his words. “i just came from the club and i need you matty” i said quietly. he nodded as he moved out the doorway so i could walk in. he shut the door turning me around to face him.

“need me to help you baby” he softly said. i nodded my head as i whined. ���come on mattys here to help” he whispered as he took me to his room. he shut the door behind him locking it.

as he stepped closer to me he wrapped he’s hand around my throat connecting our lips. i walked back letting myself fall onto his mattress not breaking the kiss. his arms were on the sides of me keeping himself up. his lips found my neck lightly sucking as i moan feeling super sensitive from the alcohol.

“gonna make you feel good” matt spoke as he reached his hands to the bottom of my dress lifting it over my head. he groaned as my body was on display infront of him realizing i only had underwear on.

his fingers touched my folds through my underwear “already wet baby, you been thinking about me doing this?” he questioned. “fuck.. yes matt been needing you to touch me all night” i answered.

he slide my panties down my leg as i lifted my hips up to help him. “been missing this pussy so bad. too bad your shitty boyfriend had to take it from me” he spoke rubbing my clit in circles i moaned out at his actions. “i’m not with him anymore matt.. he broke up with me” i struggled to get out.

“im sorry princess i don’t know why he would ever part from this pussy” he said dipping his head down connecting his month to my pussy. i slide my hand to his head lightly gripping his hair. he moans against me send vibrations threw me.

i rock my hips against his face as a euphoric feeling rising in my stomach. he pushes my torso down so i’m stuck in place as he just devours me. “fuck.. matt keep going” i moan out back arching against the bed.

his hand reached reached up to grab my boobs kneading them. the overstimulation of my body sent the pit of my stomach out on to his tongue. he pulled away licking his lips. “best pussy i’ve ever tasted” i smiled as i pulled him back up kissing his now swollen lips.

i reached my hands underneath his shirt pulling it above his head taking him in. “god am i drunk or did you get finer?” i question giggling. he laughed shaking his head reaching down to take his pants off.

it felt like he was taking ages to get undressed so u spoke up. “matt please..” he aligned himself infront of me. “please what princess?” he gently spoke. “i don’t want to feel how i did last night so matt just take this pain away!” i raised my voice slighty at him.

“ill give you what you want but dont raise your voice at me. every. again.” he stated wrapping his hand around my throat before pushing himself into me. only response i had was a pornagrapic moan coming out my mouth.

“such a good fucking girl” he said as i clenched around him. my hands find his neck bringing him close to my face sharing breaths. his thumb slid onto my bottom lip as i open my mouth and let his finger slip into my lips on my light sucking his finger and swirling my tongue around it.

he groaned as he kept his finger into my mouth holding my jaw bucking his hips deeper into me. my moan vibrating his thumb that rested on my tongue. his mouth taking the place where his thumb once was. “fuck matt give me it all.. please” i said digging my nails into his skin.

he obeys putting all of his dick in me i whine out from his actions. “you got it. take it like a good girl.” he spoke throwing his head back. “fuck.. fuck.. matt!” before i could say anything pleasure rushed over me as i dragged my nails down matt’s back.

he moaned against my neck thrusting into me gripping my hips. “i’m almost there baby doing so well for me.” he whispered as i whined from being overstimulated. a few more thrust and a warm liquid was now filling me up. his moans were being covered by my neck, i reached up to rub his face as he came down from his high.

“can we just stay like this for now?” i spoke softly. “anything you want baby” he whispered back. “one thing i will let you know is that im never letting you or this pussy go ever.” he said wrapping my legs around him as he reposition us. i smiled as i cuddle into him getting sleepy.

if you want to be tagged lmk!

tags: @lustfulslxt @oversturn @ilovemattsturn @oliviasturniolo21 @wh0szjoanna @flowerxbunnie

a/n: so sorry if i forgot to tag people some of my posts i can’t see comments but i hoped you enjoyed! also sorry it took me forever i am school and im still in the process of unpacking but two new smuts will be out soon. as always i🤍u

[biohazardousbunnywrites]

h0rny hours frfr

Fade

Cassandra Dimitrescu x fem!reader

i wont apologize for marking you up, everyone needs to know who you belong to, in fact, some of them are starting to fade. lets fix that.

warnings: possessive sex, strap on use on r, marking, bondage, degradation, overstimulation

summary: when a maid gets to familiar with Cassandra's girlfriend, you, she needs to lay her claim so everyone sees who you belong to.

Cassandra was fuming, watching you and the bold maid in the corner. you two had been in the library, Cassandra cuddling you while you read to her. a maid came in to the room to clean. neither one of you paid her any attention. Until you got up to go get another book to read.

as you scoured the shelves, the maid came over "that ones pretty good" she commented looking over at the book in your hand, "yeah, its one of my favorites" you responded. Cassandra perked up at your voices eyes looking over suspicious of the maids intentions.

nothing happened for a bit as you two conversed about books. then the maid completely forgetting the predator in the room touched you. a friendly, unassuming touch, but a touch nonetheless and that was enough to enrage the woman.

she stormed over grabbing you "we're going back to my room" she said pulling you away from the maid and out of the room.

"cassie please, you did this last night and im still marked up"

"obviously not enough seeing as that bitch thinks she can touch you" she snarled finally arriving at her room pulling in and slamming the door behind you. she began pulling at your clothes ignoring your protest.

"It was nothing Cassie, everyone knows im yours, please calm down" you said trying to slow her hand as they frantically pulled at fabric. She had some anxieties about you leaving for someone better than her. you always tried to reassure her but sometimes like right now it was useless.

Cassandra finally finished undressing you and pushing you onto the bed, she gazed hungrily at your marked up body from last nights jealousy fueled fuck. marks from the week before still present.

"i wont apologize for marking you up, everyone needs to know who you belong to, in fact, some of them are starting to fade. lets fix that." she said trailing her fingers gently over the older bruises. you bit back a moan as her slender fingers lightly touched and explored your body.

she gently touched your pussy smirking "for someone who complains when i fuck you like this, you're so wet. perhaps we should skip the foreplay and see if you can just take my cock" she said flicking clit causing your hips to buck and you to whimper.

she leans over you and kisses you, her tongue slipping past your lips rubbing up against yours, you moan and try to tug on her clothes when she pins them down. "nu uh, no touching, im doing the touching rn. if you're a good little slut for me, perhaps ill let you do the same" you whine at that wanting to feel your girlfriends skin against yours, but nod nonetheless. she smirks as she gets up. going into her bedside table draw pulling out some rope and her favorite strap on, "and just to insure you do behave" she takes hold of your hands tying them together after a brief pause waiting for a sign of consent from you. once shes done your arms are tied together above your head fastened to the headboard.

she kisses you again before slipping on the harness of her strap. its very her. definitely big but not obnoxiously thick, very long though with a curve upwards and a nice deep red. settling back between you open legs she slides her fingers through your wet folds gathering your wetness and spreading it all over her cock. she moans as she does so. Cassandra is so utterly addicted to you. she runs the tip of toy through your folds casuing you to moan out and whimper. "you're all mine baby. mine" she says before slipping into your hole. both of you moaning and gasping at the act. she'll never get tired of the way she can slide so easily into you. how you well you take her, and you will never get tired of feeling her fill you up, how she stretches you to accommodate her.

she gives you a second before she starts thrusting into you. you cant hold in the sounds she pulls from you and she relishes in that fact. "i bet that whore would never make feel like i can" she groans out watch your bodies connect. she loves watching her red toy disappear into your heat, its almost enough to make her cum as she sees that white ring of yours start form at the base. "you're the most perfect slut, you just love to be used dont you, you're cumming already and ive barely touched you" she gasps out feeling you trying to keep her cock in you. she speds up holding your legs open so you dont clamp them shut as you cum.

your back arches, you pull on those damned restraints. she laughs as she leans down and gets to work marking you up, she bites on your flesh and sucks ensuring your bruises are nice and dark. she thrusts harder as your moans and whimpers gain in volume. the bed rocks under her force as she brings you to another orgasm. "c-cassie, i cant-" you gasp out as she doesn't stop. she releases the nipple she had in her mouth and laughs, "yes you can and you will, bc your mine, mine to use, mine to fuck, mine to love. mine." your eyes roll back your head as she flicks your clit while thrusting particularly hard.

once shes had her fill of marking you up and making you mess on her strap does she finally pull out. she cums herself purely at the sight of her strap covered in your slick and how your abused hole looks, twitching and clenching. she almost wants to slip back in there for one more round but you're exhausted and she's gotten it out of her system.

she cleans you up gently before slipping you both under the covers, she's so unexpectedly soft in moments like this it still makes your headspin. she kisses your forehead. "you're such a good girl for me, i love you." you snuggle into her kissing her neck as you do so. "i love you too" you said drowsiness setting in. you gave her neck one more kiss on the marks you've made on her a few days prior after she got a little to friendly with a maid, they were also starting to fade, you would fix that come morning but for now you slept. ok maybe your both just a tad bit possessive of eachother.

an: i forgot I was writing this but its finished. hope you enjoy.

[lotties-ashwagandha]

CHRISTMAS WITH THE YELLOWJACKETS (headcanons)

SHAUNA

will forget to wrap your gifts until the very last minute and then spends hours wrapping , chugs a whole pot of coffee in preparation as if she bleeds espresso

her gifts are very thoughtful tho she gives the best christmas presents. shes perceptive to things you like and want, even if you don’t tell her she’ll notice if you’re eyeing something in a store while you’re out and will get it for you when you’re not looking

she can’t be fucked w christmas cookies though she’ll buy some at the store and plate them up all pretty and tell everyone she made them herself

anyway. she is passionate about the christmas tree (why does that sound dirty?) she needs the ornaments to be all in the right place and the lights to be equally distributed or else everything’s coming off and she’s putting it back on the right way

LOTTIE

NEEDS the entire wellness center to be decorated or else her seasonal depression makes her want to be chasing bitches through the woods with knives (again)

from the 5 exact same fics in the lottie tag i think we’ve all established that she can’t bake cookies even though she tries exceedingly hard

she buys all the seasonal coffee creamers that are all the fucked flavors , you’ll get in the fridge and be faced with “gingerbread candy cane sugar cookie mcgriddle subway sandwich taissa’s fresh farmed dirt” flavored coffee creamer

i can also see her getting hyperfixated on those “christmas baking championship” series , you don’t watch the show but you know everyone who’s eliminated each week by name

TAISSA

prepares a whole pot of dirt for the two of you

“I got this bucket of dirt from outside the boxing gym, it really packs a punch”

i’ll never not make fun of this bitch for eating dirt I’m sorry

anyway she probably hides your christmas presents but forgets where she hides them and then she has a little easter egg hunt for everything she bought you

you’ll be doing spring cleaning a few months later and be like oh my god look at _____ i told you i wanted this for christmas have you been hiding it???? and she’s like oh

she also has the BEST christmas songs playlist , possibly even better than van’s

VAN

if she buys you clothes they’ll be thrifted and she has this whole thing about how she doesn’t support fast fashion and at this point you’ve stopped asking for clothes bc girl keeps giving you dusty ass 60s shit and not the good kind

has old copies of all the good vintage christmas movies tho and you have movie nights with popcorn and blankets

she has a favorite peppermint scented candle that she always lights when you’re doing something christmassy, baking cookies or watching movies or whatever it may be

decorates the shop for christmas ‼️ and you help her and it’s absolutely gorgeous , she plays christmas carols all day during work

NATALIE

will probably buy you some rlly expensive alcohol tbh and you guys party like hell for christmas

will also get you something sentimental tho and act like it’s nothing when it’s everything

she’d be less into christmas than you but would be down to use it as an occasion to get lit, give you gifts, and tell you she loves you

and sex . just saying

MISTY

now LISTEN this girl goes all out

caligula has a miniature christmas tree in his cage and she reads the christmas carol to him every year

she really enjoys those little 5-7 minute vintage disney christmas shorts and will make you watch them with her because she thinks they’re so cute and funny

chip and dale reminds her of her and nat

she’s obviously chip in her mind and nat is dale

anyway

she’ll also hand make your presents, not all of them but I can definitely see her crocheting you something or smthn like that

in any case I’m going to bed my loves im exhausted and writing this before christmas bc i probably wont be active on christmas but MERRY CHRISTMAS i hope you all enjoy the holidays, thank you for reading and supporting <3

[zeephyre]

CR3 EPISODE 78 SPOILERS

god. i love this fucking campaign. this one's gonna be long as shit.

despite how genuinely depressing this episode was, it also made me really giddy because i love hurt/comfort and there's no point of that if there's no hurt or angst.

im probably gonna go down the line with each member of bells hells, discussing what i can remember off the top of my head, i hope i don't forget anything in my rambles cause this was one of my FAVORITE episodes of the whole campaign and that's saying something.

i love ashton. i have loved ashton the most since the very beginning and for a lot of it i was really worried that ashton was deliberating running from opening up with bells hells while also going out of their way to have one-to-one convos with different members that were deep and insightful but never went as far as they needed to.

i am projecting a bit with analysis of ashton but taliesin does it best when rp'ing for ash and generally talking abt him in interviews. ashton reminds me of myself, which is not a compliment and is actually really terrible. ironically enough, ashton said the same thing abt fcg. i have spent a lot of time hurting myself by sabotaging the things i love, or embracing the worse parts of myself simply because it's become habit. there's always going to be a piece of you that finds the sadness, anger, guilt, emptiness, whatever -- comforting because it's all you've known.

ashton mourns a life that he never lived. i find myself mourning versions of myself that i would hate but still...yearn for them like an itch or an ache that comes from hurt. ashton wanted their family back, in whatever desperate, corrupted way he felt he should have done it, and hearing how he described feeling like he looked past the cautionary tale simply because he thought the pain they caused him should have meant something else made me think of imogen.

beautiful, sweet, powerful, dangerous, sad imogen temult. i won't comment on how everyone berated ashton because that's not really surprising nor was anything imogen said or did pertaining to ash shocking whatsoever. but... there's smth abt the destruction that ashton did to feel close to the idea of a family that doesn't really exist that just parallels so well with the fight that imogen has been undergoing since childhood. against the red storm, now against the call of ruidus, and the temptation and attachment she felt and still feels to her mother, despite everything liliana has done that jeopardizes everything imogen is fighting for.

abandoned by her mother, shunned by her own town, ignored and feared by her father.

going back to ashton again, there's smth to be said abt the guilt and shame that comes from making horrible choices that put yourself and the ppl you love in danger that forever changes the way they perceive you. I've done it. i had to fight to make things better. it can't be enough to love someone enough that would die for them, you have to fight to stay alive. if not even for yourself, for THEM.

i know it can be unhealthy to rely on others so much, but it's certainly not easy to fight for yourself when the foundation isn't there. learning how to love without throwing yourself on a blade is more important than self sufficiency. that comes afterwards.

i...don't like laudna's reliance on delilah briarwood this episode. i... there's smth very ironic about laudna being worried abt ashton's betrayal and the way he hurt her and the others with his deception and selfishness, coupled with my understanding of the absolute fucking insane, borderline stupid danger of even SPEAKING to delilah briarwood, let alone working WITH her.

i think it's hypocritical, but i don't feel any animosity towards laudna. just..sadness. delilah is a parasite. a disgusting, cruel, evil bitch who wants laudna to be... that weak little girl easily crushed under her thumb. she may preach abt laudna's latent power and potential, but laudna won't serve her purpose if she TRULY gains the strength to cast delilah aside forever. i don't think delilah was telling the truth abt their fates last episode, and that's why i so deeply want laudna to toss aside that defeatist mindset that has only gotten worse since episode one. maybe im wrong, maybe delilah was actually being genuine.

i kept watching imogens/laura's face during laudna's moments speaking with delilah alone, and it just made me sad because she didn't need to be alone. she had imogen, but she still felt the need to run and hide away. god i just want her to be happy.

i really liked the doll she made for ashton, even though delilah made it really creepy for no reason, the dramatic cunt she is. her assessment of ashton as being a child may seem rude or even a projection but to me it's the truth. ashton has not grown past his childhood. past abandonment and pain and mistrust and love that never lasts and always hurts. that shit followed them to adulthood and anyone who has any number of mental illnesses and childhood trauma will tell you that it's so easy to feel yourself stuck as a reactive, stubborn, bitter little kid trapped in a shitty cycle of pain. both ashton and laudna this episode felt like they were both broken, sad children interacting. laudna clinging to comfort from delilah, hiding away, mentally reverting to the person she was the last time she was in whitestone. ashton, clinging to his lost childhood and the acceptance of laudna's doll, the admittance that they'd never had a doll before. god... they're so sad, im gonna scream.

fcg apologizing for forcing faith down ashtons throat was sweet and so was ashton apologizing for being so bitter abt fcg's faith. now i just need fcg to apologize for the multiple instances where he put laudna in danger by casting turn undead with no acknowledgement of laudna afterwards.

fcg saying that ashton didn't love anyone or care about anyone hurt me a bit, because while i understood why they were saying those things, it was so... obviously untrue. before all of this, ashton has shown again and again and again how much he loves bells hells, and especially fcg. i know that ashton almost dying over smth so arrogant, desperate and foolish would make anyone question what someone's idea of "love" is, but still. it stung. maybe because i have been there. i know what it's like to be doubted and mistrusted because you ruined smth good callously and carelessly.

chetney... chetney really loves fearne. i don't care if y'all don't get it or if y'all still think chet is some joke character with no substance, I never understood that shit and i simply never will. chet and fearne probably have the best relationship in all of bells' hells -- and yes, that includes imogen and laudna because god knows those two have shit brewing under the surface that needs to be HANDLED, i.e: laudna being defeatist abt their relationship even tho it's barely begun.

chetney's a good man. him going after fearne was the best choice and im glad he gave her a couple laughs before she went off to wander. he cares about her so much, and he BELIEVES in her so much, and i love them. i LOVED the way he went in on ashton. hurting fearne by making a shitty decision and letting her bear the burden of watching ashton die right in front of her was... bad. it is very complicated but, that's pretty cut and dry.

i like him testing ashton again and again. telling him to leave but also being glad they chose to be brave and stay, and face the consequences of their actions. attacking ashton to see what all of any of that shit was even for. (im a little bummed that the shard didn't fully wake up yet but...i love the suspense im just impatient).

FEARNE. CALLOWAY. i love fearne, and i love the breakdown during the first part of the episode. it was such a raw moment and it established the tone of the episode so quickly. im glad that fearne knows that while ashton fucked up royally, her rejecting of the shard and complacence in ashton's plans was also royally stupid. i don't think her being terrified of taking the shard is bad or stupid, it's actually one of my favorite fearne character choices. no one ever actually asked her WHY she didn't want it, and when she said she didn't want it, it was still decided by the hells that the shard would go to fearne. (they're very shit at communication, poor babies). im happy that she specifically clarified that ashton did not threaten or manipulate her (plus he gave her many opportunities to not be involved with his bullshit if it made her uncomfy so im hoping the insane critters who keep treating ashton like some evil, predatory person finally stfu).

fearne being so scared of a version of herself that was sad, lonely, and "evil" to the point that she chose to believe that it was ashton's destiny to take in both shards is so... so rich. i hope she talks about that more in the next episode because i don't think she's EVER brought it up since exu. i don't think the shard would change fearne's personality but god the fact that SHE is so afraid of herself and what she's capable of.... AHHHH. love this damn party.

i hope liam knows that expect really painful roleplaying from him when he comes back cause i really do need ashton and orym interactions like i need air.

the choice to go to the fey realm was brilliant and i missed nana morri so it's a win for me. bells hells COULD have done what they've been doing for a while now, which is ignoring the pain they're all feeling and pushing forward, but ashton doing what they did was the straw that broke the camel's back and im GLAD because i have been begging them all to have real conversations with each other that don't get cut short prematurely for whatever reason.

i do hope that they do really lean into the self care aspect involving therapy and talking through their issues with ALL of the members present or even in groups, and it isn't just fun and games. they're prone to distraction. i love my little guys.

:( two weeks without bells hells. is it thursday, yet???

[persy-r-bozo]

DHMIS- The Yappining! 2/6 - Yellow

i diddnt know who to fully start with! so i decided yellow was my first victim.

Yellow is a very interesting character. he tends to play into the "Dumb yet sweet" character trope. but the steady reveal that this cannot be farther from the truth is amazing.

I feel him and his reflection could mean alot of things. and i believe it does. a part of me thought it could resemble the two sad sides of neurodivergent Youth. "The gifted" and "The trouble maker" gifted kids tend to be given to much pressure to succeed and troubled ones are ignored or just pushed aside.

i don't think the car killed him, just hurt inside and out. Causing a drift within an already possibly drifting family. (Perhaps this switch disappointed some. or made others go mad.) I think the gravestone and mirror could simply mean that version of him is dead. someone who cant be brought back. He's still the same, just not the way others might have wanted him to be.

The batteries could be a metaphor for meds. or hell he could be a cyborg. I mean his dad made a computer that just spawned bitches so i wouldn't put it past him.

the show or the world their stuck within tried to paint yellow stupidly. However he is quite emotionally intelligent. the world tries to paint him as useless but he isn't. I like the idea that yellow can read people very well. he can understand them in ways that make him super helpful, however he has issues with words and thought, often stumbling over himself.

his kindness and optimism is both a blessing and a curse. it makes him easy to control, but it also makes him a sense of stability and comfort.

he is such an interesting character!. a melancholy character. a sunshine behind a cloud. from a blind and innocent lad within the web series to a more dependable one later on. he has much to overcome, we can only hope he may.

But lets get into the-

-RELATIONSHIP VIEWS-

Red: Yellow and red are a very interesting pair. i feel as though yellow likes red. but he can read him, probably better than red can even read himself. Yellow can sense he is a ticking time bomb. that despite his quiet, he is breaking. so yellow is distant, keeping himself always a few steps away, just in case. He trusts red, its hard not to feel a little protected with a big fellow around. but yellow can just sense it. that red could snap, and that trust might break too.

Duck: THATS HIS RIDE OR DIE RIGHT THERE!. his ride or die! yellow loves duck, and feels a sense of comfort from him i think. I like to believe that duck might have even been a non related uncle of sorts. the brain fog may persist but you never forget that one guy whose never related to yall but still shows up. They are chaotic and i love them. while yellow can read people very well but cannot speak very well. Duck cannot read people for shit BUT BOY, IS HE LOUD N PROUD. They are two puzzle pieces together. pure chaotic opposites. This may cause big fights between the two but oddly enough i feel there's potential for the two to work really well together too. What im saying is PLEASE PLEASE IF WE GET ANOTHER SEASION I WANT TO SEE DUCK AND YELLOW HAVE THIER OWN ADVENTURE AND ITS CHAOTIC AND MESSY AND FUNNY AS FUCK PLEASE!!-

Roy: Roy is more sad. yellow loves him, yet that love is not mutual. and if it was it wasn't true families love, as it never stayed. Yellow flinches when Roy shows up in family. Yet he still wants to believe he came for him. Maybe yellow will realize this. that even though he loves him, He's not a good puppet person.

Lesley: This is interesting. If we are to believe she is his mother. he surely doesn't remember her. He Seems uncomfortable within her presence and skittish. But he stays and tries to be sweet. Maybe the reason he seems so skittish around her is because she might be the only creature he cant read that well. She's a mystery, her minds a mystery her everything is an enigma. Even to him. I don't think he remembers her at all. But one things for sure, even in the face of the unknown my boy aint rude.

EXTRA YAP JUST FOR YOU GUYS <3 !!!!!!!!!!

Yellow and clayhill-

Even though clay hill issnt cannon in the slightest and is played as a joke for all the older fans and the creators themselves IM A FREAKAZOID OK? IM INSANE! (i made a small headcannon weird thingy about yellow guy and clayhill to fit clayhill and its "Inexistence" into the series.) BEACUSE IM A MAD MAN OK!!?

I thought of the idea of clayhill being yellows little fanfiction (Babes first fanfiction!! he's following in the footsteps of his eldritch world building parents / guardians!!! <3 ) Yellow used it as a way to vent his little brain foggy daja vu head away.

Ill go though what i remeber clayhills plot line to be. Key thing is remember because I live in the US and i learned off of word of mouth mostly.

Its yellows ideal situation. hes with the other two. they are safe in a town with neighbors and people who love them and see them. Red is calmer, duck is more joyous. its yellows birthday today!. But a mean key comes to life and the mayor is missing.

Duck follows the key and is manipulated and hurt by steave. Yellows venting his frustrations with ducks blind following of the world even though it hurts him. but he understands, its because some of the objects are just so mean. Red runs away, Yellows venting his fears or daja vu like feeling that red will run away. leaving him all alone. He understands it might be for the greater good (finding the mayor) but he is still scared.

Yellow on the other hand, Gets a make over, he outsmarts an object. he finds a way to rescue duck and find red. to save the entire town and have his birthday party at home!. and i believe someone said the age on his badge changed from 38 to 48?

well if it did that might be yellow wishing to be older. Thinking if he was older he could control more things, talk better. Help more often. So in this world. everyday his is birthday, everyday he gets older. everyday he is seen and in control.

But This level of escapism doesn't really work for Lesley/Roy. so whenever they can they remind him that clay hill isn't real. it never was. and it never will be.

[gothnutz666]

warning: rambling of an enraged lesbian (also spoilers for nevermore the webtoon)

ok i am so fucking omg i just finished reading up to episode 81 and i am BETRAYED annabel you bitch i liked you i thought you were cool i thought you were a good one( in hindsight she never was but wtv) what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

i fr like rooted soooo hard for lenore to punch her in the fucking guts for what she did to duke man

this entire scene i was just getting more and more angry just seeing her playing around with lenore bro....

who are YOU to give lenore the fucking winky face you little shit ARGHHHH

she better fucking say sorry after they find duke (hopefully) alive she better get down on her knees BEGGING for forgiveness im genuinely so puzzled by her decision to take part in duke's murder because what the fuck did she think?? like genuinely?? her entire world is revolved around lenore, and im sure she knows taking out lenore's best bud is gonna hurt her deeply, and if she finds out shes fucking DONE FOR no trucies and no wifey.. did she know that actually or did she completely forget that lenore acts on feelings and sentimentality??

one thing that i dont understand tho is the fans saying this was lenore's villian arc like... i know its just a funny lil thing to say but she was in no way acting like a villian in my opinion. yeah her friend is on the brink of death and it was caused by the person who is most important to her, no shit she will lash the fuck out and do whatever she can to save him. the villians are the ones who tried to kill duke... i jus dont get it

ok rant over i was bawling my eyes at those 2-3 episodes i just want that funny french man to be ok :(

[botanicallyinclinednerd]

The Umbrella Academy season 2 episode 1

Im very glad Klaus has Ben with him still

Oh boy

I don't like that guy taking pictures of them at the time of them showing up

Okay so they're all dropping a year apart

Klaus is the second oldest now. Between his Vietnam stay and now dropping the earliest, he's the next oldest. Watch out five!

*GASP* KLAUS IS SO FUCKING COOL

I forgive Luther only marginally for some of his behavior in s1 due to protecting Klaus here

And that doesn't matter cause time bullshit

Aww, bye Agnes, glad she had 20 good years with Hazel

I love Hazel being like "10 days is plenty of time for you to save the world" buddy, he ended it WORSE last time

Okay these white haired getting off this bus are bad guys

I love being proven right so quickly

Aw :( Rip Hazel

Did that guy just see himself? Looks like it

This guy is having the time of his life, he feels so validated

Oh Diego :(

She saw that grab

"I'm a lone wolf. I don't run with a pack" Oh Diego, you make me LAUGH

DIEGO

He has the spirit but he is screwing with history. That being said! I don't think it's just his actions that cause the apocalypse, I think it's a combination of all of them simply being in the past. And probably something to do with conspiracy guy. He was never supposed to be a conspiracy theorist, they changed his whole future, as well as the lives and futures of everyone else they meet

Oh does Lila become a time bureau agent? I've seen her in a screenshot stood next to The Handler before I think

I know Hazel killed her but I don't trust death on this show

FIVE THATS SO FUCKING SHITTY YOU ASSHOLE

Okay, he better be back for him

Oop? Does she actually have no memories? Or is she lying?

I keep forgetting Hargreeves first name and it almost made me have a batshit theory

Vanya looks so happy and I want that for her

Klaus! Ben!

Ben! >:(

B E N I'm laughing so hard at him lying to Klaus so he loses his necklace

BEN IS SUCH A LITTLE BITCH IM LAUGHING SO HARD HES SO DONE

"I bet you're loving this" "I'm not hating it" HES SUCH A LITTLE SHIT <3

Allison! Remarried?

Oh what a sweet man

Does Luther owe the fancy gentleman a debt? That a bookie or his manager...

Fuck yeah Allison kick his ass, fucking racist fuck

Oh I dig this dynamic lots 👀👀👀

Oh Diego :(

Ruuuunnnnnnn

Luther doesn't make it easy to like him

[stupidrant]

RANT INCOMING!

I have to talk abt this as this has been in my mind for months and this i think is the only safe space to talk abt the fandom and their weird antics towards the characters/actors and overall games.Im not against criticism but theres a line between criticizing and going overboard with hating.

One thing i dont understand abt the god of war fandom is that they complain about alot of things not being “accurate” and thats doesnt make sense to me bc when has gow ever been accurate? I thought it was obvious from the beginning that SMS wasnt going for that and never truly will. Its always their own interpretation. They also have this weird hatred / ignorance towards atreus that i also dont understand? Yea he was a little annoying in the first game but thats understandable as hes… a kid. Ragnarok expanded his character pretty well imo and i feel like alot of these people for some reason cannot get past him in general? Maybe because they are afraid of him taking over the series and “forgetting” kratos (idk why thats in their minds LOL) or they just hate him just because. I feel like the fandom wants kratos to forever be this god who destroys things and whatnot and its all so weird. like they never gave him a chance. thankfully he has fans but majority hates him. Dont even get me started on how they treat angrboda. Its really so ridiculous to me that they can be so hateful for no true reason. they call her a bitch for yelling at atreus when all the women in the game get annoyed or disappointed in him atleast once. And they dont understand that she has only known this prophecy shit for her whole life and she couldnt do anything outside bc of the threat. ofc shes angry bro LOLL its also in her name like i dont understand 😭.  Atreus helps her get out of that mindset and assures her she can do whatever she wants now. Laya is so strong idk how she does it :( I also noticed they treat thrud as this “replacement” of angrboda bc they dont like her either cuz shes black or bc they hate her and everything related to atreus but as long as he has a character they can like thats not angrboda its fine. Its all so weird bc theres no competition between the two. There never was. I dont think they actually like thrud for her character they just want to be weirdos and i feel kinda bad for her and mina bc they really dont give a fuck. Im so shocked chris sunny and others even INTERACT with this bullshit of a fandom they are all really strong bc id say fuck all of you and go 😭 im not against criticism at all and i try not to take this shit seriously but its hard when you see a insane group of people take alot of this shit to the next level. this fandom is a bunch of whiny babies who hold onto their precious destroyer too much. The hate everyone has gotten recently is just so stupid and they often times try to make it their goal to hate. I see that SMS is trying to diverge their fandom to a broader audience and they are taking a bit more risks esp with atreus and i love that despite the backlash against him, they continued with his character regardless. I hope they do the same thing with the other characters as well and expand them no matter how much these people want to hate and act all high and mighty. I can understand certain critiques like the ending being too fast or maybe they couldve done blah blah better and whatnot but i think alot of people are overreacting and being ridiculously nitpicky with alot of things when it comes to ragnarok. 

Last thing and also kinda random thing SMS is very wrong for what they did to TC Carson and i acknowledge that completely and i hope they never do smth like that to any of the current cast either bc i would be fucking pissed if so LOL

[tunahaswares]

- Lucien Flavius headcanons .

Lucien is book smart but absolutely not people smart. if you ask if he's flirting with you when he talks to you the first time, he stammers over his words and makes it sound *even worse*, which is so dorky and adorable to me. He knows a lot about history and random facts about the Dwemer, but he doesn't know how to adapt that knowledge to people. I mean, what he knows doesn't even begin to translate to socializing.

But he's still so naturally charismatic in a silly goofy way. He sings songs, does rhyming games with Inigo, tells you scary stories by the fire, etc etc. He has RIZZ he just doesn't know how to use it. or that it even exists.

(This man giggles and tells me I made him blush and I'M FUMBLING SO HARD IM TAKING SCREENSHOT AFTER SCREENSHOT- he did a little idle pose where he tilted his head and I squawked like a bird in shock.)

and his REACTION when you activate the lover stone.... whatever he says, he ends it with "not that I... ah..." like he's gonna say "not that I'm not interested in you!" or whatever. I forget the specifics of what he said, but he's saying the stone is better for the player and not for him, and is just generally embarrassed. I'd wager he's never been in a relationship before. He's always been study study study, books books books. And daydream daydream DAYDREAM.

Good lord his head's in the clouds sometimes. He's also confident in a weird way? Like he has self doubt, evident by how he asks Inigo "do you think I'm useful?". But when you kill your third dragon with him, he makes an off handed comment and calls your team "team Lucien". so he definitely has a fully fed ego from his very loving parents who gave him EVERYTHING. It's not like he ever asked his parents for dating advice, though. He never thought he'd need it!

So here he is, fumbling and turning bright red as he tries to convey his feelings.

"Well... you see, what I wanted to talk to you about was, I think I'm... No, I know I'm- would that even be the right word? I do really like you but can I even call it that? i-"

and he goes on and on. Can he say it? can he just say he's in love? isn't that a strong word?the poor guy is losing it.

I'ma just kiss him to shut him up fr fr

anyways.

He's totally a little spoon. He's barely even toned. Skinny and short, he needs to be protected and kept warm! Skyrim is a harsh land, very cold! He over thinks romantic gestures though. and affection.

He wants to hold your hand but "oooh is that okay? should he ask or would that be weird? but you're so stunning illuminated by the campfire... maybe he wants to kiss you instead - NO too much!" It gets him blushing just thinking about making a move like that!!!!

Oftentimes he will ask and need to be reassured he's doing the right thing by asking, or told he doesn't have to ask. depending on personal preference, ofc.

He's a darling angel. Don't worry, he gains confidence overtime! He can kiss you on the cheek and not feel like he's gonna explode! he still gets embarrassed, especially if you tease him over it.

"Aawww, still in love with me, Flavius?"

"Oh gods, not this again..."

You could never annoy him, even if his tone says otherwise. He gets frustrated being teased, but that's just overcooked embarrassment if you think abt it.

Loves pda but would never admit it... he feels comforted by it, just as long as it's not too much.

Hold his hand or wrap your arm around his waist. Bonus points if you do this while in windhelm. hates that fucking city, but LOVES showing u off to the Nords... look he's dating the fucking last dragonborn and ur not... who's the milk drinker now huh bitch???

Lucien loves to just relax after a long day. Reading to you is his favorite. He'll even try to cook dinner for the both of you if you're too tired after a whole days worth of preventing dragons from singing his ass.

As you fall asleep, head resting on his lap as he reads to you, Lucien will silently stroke your face and close his book.

And just… sit there. Admiring you. How did he ever get so lucky? You've saved him more time than he could count… He hopes his love is enough to repay you for that.

----------------

wrote this on discord in midst of a ramble lol. Y'all deserve it tho

[arkiwii]

well, since i can't really draw or write Arknights stuff because I'm really charged this month, but the brainrot is still very strong, i decided to do a tierlist of my favorite operators!

explanations below the cut

i don't count alters on this tierlist, when I put a character I consider it's them + their alter version; the choice of if I picked the alter or not for the vignette is only based on aesthetic choices, really. also for comprehensive reasons, i tried to put all the related characters next to each other (like how the abyssal hunters are all next to each other)

My most beloved precious blorbos: this one speaks for itself, honestly. operators i absolutely love, that i think about almost on a daily basis, no minded doodles every so often, writing ideas poping up in my mind, big wall of text about how much i like them, autistic thoughts, you know the kind. i just love them very much, simply. originally, saria and ifrit were in the tier just below, since i considered that since i have silence as my favorite character, i did not need to also put them, but i learnt to love them individually rather than for what they represent to silence

Big smooch on their forehead: characters that i know very well the story of, and that I'm really attached! not to the point of being my all times favorites, but who spoke to me to a personal level, or that i used a lot in early game/still use today. i love to read about them and would love to draw or write more about them! justice knight is here as a honorary member

I think they're neat!: i don't know them that well, but i followed them in events, or did a bit of research about them for a reason or another, or simply one of my friends like them! and i do think they're neat, pretty interesting, not the kind i'd be absolutely attached to but i enjoy seeing them regardless :]

I would like to know more about them: feat Abyssal Hunters, the Nearls and Gavial's crew. they are characters i know a little bit about them or they are related to a character i love, but i got too lazy to read their event and files because it's too complicated, or too long, or whatever. but they are characters i know enough about to know i'll appreciate them! so im interested in knowing more about them

Here goes all the other operators, aka "I don't care or I forgot you exist": well, the tier's name once again speaks for itself. theres a ton of characters in that game, and I can't focus on every of them, especially when i started not that long ago. there's a lot that i genuinely just forget about, some that i know the story but i dont care that much to know more, and a few that i do wish to know more about! but not as much interesting as the tier above, so not my priority

I hate you /pos: (i ran out of colors) annoying ass characters with a shitty personalities but they're fun for the memes and i use them regardless (except tequila cause mlynar exists). not like actual hate, mostly affectionate hate, you know, like how you call your cat "stinky", but you still love your cat regardless. fact, at first i was genuinely uncomfortable with lappland, but then with il siracusano i started to feel better with her

I hate you /neg: characters i despise either for game reason or because their smug aura mocks me. phantom is because fuck him in is2 and his story is ehhh to me. gravel is because this character is seriously uncomfortable, for the love of god can you act normal, and i wouldn't mind her if she wasn't guaranteed with every fast redeploy tag. harmonie and ho'olheyak are just smug bitches. and ethan i just have a hate experience because i dont like using him and his voice + the music playing when he appears makes me so anger

Brother you can just die: Silverash tier. fuck you silverash. i don't like his face, i dont like using him, and i did not followed break the ice but i heard enough bullshit about him to know he's a terrible person. i hope i never roll him

[isdalinarhot]

i need to like. write down what opinions each of the War Crimes 6 had about each other that we know canonically. its 4 am i dont have anything better to do. note that this is strictly canonical which means all shipping except canon pairings gets left at the door sorry. we all know sadeas and dalinar want to fuck each other nasty but this isnt what this post is about

gavilar's opinion on:

dalinar: this is my brother. he is useful to me. he is very stupid and easily manipulated. keep the wool over his eyes and keep him pointed at anything and anyone i want dead. he is a tool of mine above all else

sadeas: he is my buddy :)

navani: bitch wife

ialai: [missing data]

evi: [missing data]

dalinar's opinion on:

gavilar: this is my brother. he is the most important person in my life. with parents that were absent at best and abusive at worst he is the one who raised me. i care for him extremely deeply. i would do anything for him. when i played a part in causing his death i turned my entire life around, as he surely would have wanted. he was everything to me.

sadeas: once he was my best friend in the world. i always found him a little silly, a little too intellectual for my meathead self, but i also cared deeply for him. he was extremely important to me, perhaps less so than gavilar, but still an incredibly large part of my life. a trusted ally and close friend. when gavilar died our friendship fell apart as we both blamed each other for gavilar's death and in addition he began treating me coldly when i started following the codes. he betrayed me time and time again until i lost all fondness for him. when he died i felt regret that we could never return to the way things once were, but also a sense of relief, due to his negative presence in my life near the end

navani: i n eed to fuck ehr

ialai: we were buddies back in the blackthorn days! we used to banter sometimes. we were never particularly close but i enjoyed spending time with her. nowadays i don't really talk to her due to the whole complicated situation i have with her husband but she was fun :)

evi: in the blackthorn days i tried so hard to love her but could not muster attraction to her. my heart lay... elsewhere, and her personality and life ethos was not compatible with mine. our marriage was miserable, i hated her at times, but her death wrecked me, less because i was devastated to lose her as a person but more because of what the death represented. spent 6 years forgetting everything about her, got my memories of her back, felt weird about it, had a fun character arc about it, but nowadays when i think about her she is more of a symbol than a flesh and blood woman i had flesh and blood woman feelings for

sadeas's opinion on:

gavilar: most important person in my life. no question. he took me under his wing when i was not even a full adult yet. he built this kingdom. he is the most powerful man i know and because of that i am latched to him like a little wood tick. i "loved" him, whatever the fuck love means when youre sadeas

dalinar: used to be lots of fun but then he got sober and boring and now he has to DIE!!!!!!!!!!! but i did "love" him once, whatever the fuck love means when youre sadeas

navani: [missing data]

ialai: she may be ugly but she is DANGEROUS! which is hot. 10/10 only woman i respect. she gets torol privileges

evi: [missing data]

navani's opinion on:

gavilar: fuck this dude. when i was very young i was attracted to him, but that faded very fast

dalinar: i n eed to fuck h;im

sadeas: oh i never liked this guy. i trust him provisionally but his personality is absolutely rancid.

ialai: we were friends during the blackthorn era :) we are no longer friends after gavilar's death however. missing data on if im sad about this or not

evi: god i tried to hate her. i tried to hate her because she was fucking my man. but shes so stupid and so nice that you just cant hate her. and she was in a miserable marriage and i relate even though if *i* was in her place *i* would be having the time of my life #skillissue. so we did form a semi-close friendship

ialai's opinion on:

gavilar: [missing data]

dalinar: LMAOOOOOO THIS BITCH IS HILARIOUS. hes so dumb and because of that i like teasing him when we get the opportunity to talk. of course once torol wants him dead its like well i am going to help to kill him immediately

sadeas: my husband my bestie my confidant the guy who scratches my back the guy who i can sit on his lap and eat his shrimp poppers my partner in war crime LOVE YOU TOROL!!!!!!!!! MWAH

navani: we were friends during the blackthorn era <3 we schemed together. we are NOT friends now though #FuckDalinarLives

evi: SLUT from rira

evi's opinion on:

gavilar: [missing data]

dalinar: oh dalinar. you are so wonderful and honorable but you kill so much and i wish you would not be brutal and war criminalish. am i attracted to you? honestly speaking not really. you just were politically important to me. but i will bear our horrible marriage where you break my heart once a week because it is my duty as a woman or something idk

sadeas: [missing data]

navani and ialai (they go together because the opinion is pretty much identical): i wish i could be as smart as them, or as cunning as them, but i am a sweet little flower who cannot cook up a single scheme and because of that i feel alienated from them :( we are friends i suppose but its not really equal