#and i was rly emotional while drawing

[staraluman]

✨️ you're my treasure!

[hinamie]

all i have left

[calmbigdipper]

Flowers for the gang

[milkbreadtoast]

my s class hunters does a really good job at gradually raising the stakes without feeling like a pointless power creep and keeping me extremely invested and i keep saying this but I really do think it's bc it's a story grounded in love at every turn... the bond between the han brothers especially is extremely compelling and beautiful and makes me feel like a knife is being stabbed into my heart and twisted all around... i love them so so much 😞💔❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[dreamlogic]

quietly getting more & more annoyed at my housemate & her bf as the evening goes on. thought they were at his house this weekend but they showed up unexpectedly to have loud sex here, left for a little bit, came back in the middle of a fight, and are now watching tv really loudly in between continuing to totally-not-fight-everything's-FINE.

[midnightwriter21]

demon slayer hcs: douma & akaza as boyfriends

characters: fem!reader x douma, akaza

warnings: implied death, nsfw themes (no actual smut)

DOUMA

god he’s so fine for what

first off douma has trouble understanding human emotions

and dawg prefers to eat women

so the fact that y’all are dating??

ur special fr fr

you are so spoiled

douma = sugar daddy

u have one of his followers from his cult following u around and taking care of any and everything that u want

u mention seeing something in a store that u liked?

douma will have it before the end of the day

you’re like a little doll to him

he enjoys dressing you up in the cutest outfits, experimenting with different hairstyles, and playing with your makeup

teases the hell outta u

he thinks your reactions are amusing

especially when u do that cute little pout

or the puppy dog eyes

and don’t even get me started on when he makes u upset

he LOVES that shit

he always makes it up to you tho

but let a member of his cult tease you? or make u upset??

there will be hell to pay

he’ll take their head clean off their shoulders right then and there

won’t even bat an eye

so touchy

glued to u

ur sitting in his lap during cult meetings

he’s holding ur hand

he’s got an arm thrown around ur shoulders

he’s running his nails up and down ur arms so he can watch u shiver and get goosebumps

ur mad at him? maybe yelling at him abt something?

not anymore

he’s got his hands on ur face and he’s squishing ur cheeks so u can’t talk

thinks ur expressions are adorable

now douma sounds like a great boyfriend so far

but this man is MEAN

low key only keeps u around because u entertain him

i mean he’s been alive for so long and experienced so much

mans gets bored

BUT!!

if yalls relationship miraculously progresses past this

he’s turning u into a demon

that way u can stay with him forever

and he’ll never get bored of u

how could he when ur the first person to actually make him understand emotions?

especially an emotion as complex as love <3

but his true nature

comes out in the bedroom

dawg is EVIL

100% will make u cry

humiliation!!!

he’s a biter

ofc he is

idk somethin abt seeing his marks on you rly gets him goin

biting down just enough to leave a mark but not to break skin

yeah

id let him step on me

AKAZA

best boyfriend ever

no harm will ever come to u

protective asf

ur nocturnal at this point

bc ain’t no way ur leaving the house without akaza

so u gotta wait til it’s nighttime so he can come with u wherever ur going

such a gentleman ong

he’s holding ur hand to make sure u don’t get separated in crowds

or he has a hand on the small of ur back to guide u while u walk

he’s pulling ur chair out for u to sit down

he’s holding doors open for u

brings u flowers all the time

instead of looking for that blue spider lily for Muzan?

he’s picking u a bouquet of wildflowers

gonna get his ass kicked for that by muzan but oh well

100% the bf that’ll slow dance w u in the rain

with no music

ugh he’s such a romantic

god he loves u so much

and he makes sure u know it

words of affirmation!! all the time!!!

now

he’s a sweetie

but y’all ever heard that one phrase

and it’s like

gentleman in the streets freak in the sheets?

mhm that’s him

dude strong as fuck

and his STAMINA?

babe u are worn out

so many rounds

so many positions

u can’t keep up

ain’t no way i’m sorry

but the aftercare is on point

when he’s done puttin u through the ringer

he’s drawing u a bath

and making sure u drink some water cause u lost a fuck ton of bodily fluids i’m sorry

gross

cuddle bug!!

and the pillow talk!!

he’s the best

i love him sm

[thebestandrealestever]

~NOT YOU TOO!~

miles1610/hobie brown x black fem! reader

sum: miles cheats on reader w gwen, reader gets even 🤷🏽‍♀️

warnings : slang, the n word, cursing, cheating . emotional cheating. READER BEING PETTY unedited and not proofread

genre: angst, a lil of comfort?

a/n:i rly hope it don’t disappoint, part 2 w miles and reader make up eventually, cause i can’t stand writing miles as a dickhead. JUST A STORY, I DONT CONDONE CHEATING, DONT THIS TO PEOPLE.

- - - - - - - - - <\3 - - - - - - - - - -

first time in a long time.

hurting deeply inside .

there it was. the confirmation you so desperately needed to blow off on miles. you’d suspected he was messing with gwen for a little while now, him leaving you too go on missions with her that ONLY they knew about, being on facetime with her while he was at YOUR house, his highlight on instagram for her, not to mention the countless drawings of her around his room that he hid horribly, just a bunch of weird shit. you had conversations about it before but he always reassured you and gaslit you until you shook of the accusations. but now, now you knew he was cheating. miles was in the shower he left his phone on the nightstand, you looked long and hard at it. debating whether if it was a invasion of privacy, as you thought about it you get more and more upset. if gwen could be an invasion of your relationship then this didn’t really matter. you pick up the phone and put the password it, it’s his birthday (narcissist 🙄.) you go to gwen’s message thread, the blue heart next to it made you infuriated. your stomach twist and your eyes leak with tears that you don’t even try to wipe not wanting to miss anything. all of the “i love you’s” and the “im with her right now’s” made your fingers tremble as you scrolled farther into their text. why did he waste his time with you if he loved her? why would he do that to you? when did he fall out of love? what did you do? your thoughts quickly interrupted by the sound of the shower turning off you jumped up turned the phone off and put it in the same downward facing position wiping your face speed walking back to the bed pretending to watch tv.

“what’s going on now , ma?“ he asked referring to the episode you were watching. your face turned as you came up with a lie. “uh nothing really they just found out she was pregnant” you huffed, you’ve never been a good liar and miles could read your emotions like they were his own, you had no idea how you were going to go the rest of the night with him, so you didn’t. getting up from the bed you acted like your mom texted you to come home, frowning looking at the fake text. miles squinted at your pout, walking closer to you he said,

“you okay?” “my mom said i had to come home, she’s going out tonight and wants me to watch my sister, she’s sick” miles fake frowned “you want me to come with you?” he suggested walking to his drawers to get some clothes. you shook your head no “i don’t want you to get sick, it’s fine i’ll just facetime you okay?” you said as you picked up your purse and put on your shoes. “okay at least lemme drive you home. can’t have my baby walking alone in the dark.” he joked as he put on his own shoes and jacket too. you internally cringed at his sentence reminded of who he also called his “baby”.

trust, trust who?

watching my back even when i’m in the booth.

ohh, trust who?

you’re in the passenger seat of his car, seeing the blue hair tie in the cup holder that wasn’t yours. you stared at it for a bit rethinking your entire relationship. he glanced at you, then the hair tye. he spoke up rubbing your thigh trying to get your mind off of it. “u wanna go to the mall tomorrow? we can get froyo.” he suggested knowing that you liked the froyo place in the mall, you knew he was trying to make you happy so you wouldn’t question the hair tye you just went along with it.

“yea okay.” you smiled warmly at miles not meaning it at all. his phone buzzed and you both looked down at it, the speed of which he grabbed it in was almost inhumane. you side eyed him closely as he swiped the opened the message then turned his phone off placing it into the cup holder facing away from you. as you pulled up to your house he leaned forward to peck your cheek, you couldn’t stand the feeling of his lips on your skin right you. “bye mami, facetime me later okay?” he whispered as he looked into your eyes with that same look on his face that made you swoon once before. “okay, i will” you said knowing you weren’t. as soon as you got into your room you cried, searching in your mind for a clue on why he was doing this to you. you’d tears interrupted once again as your phone buzzed, who was calling you and why couldn’t they go away ?? you checked it as a small smile speared on your face it was margo. margo kess had been your best friend since before you met miles, she worked at the same spidey agency he did , or whatever the fuck it was called. you answered wiping your tears. she was eating unti she saw your expression. “what happened??? why you crying boo?” she frowned at you through the screen “miles is cheating on me with gwen, i checked his phone” you chuckled through sniffles as her jaw dropped “what the fuck?? u exposed him his ass right ??” she shouted and you shook your head “i was in denial i guess, i still can’t believe this shit” “you know what you gotta do right?” she said and your face turned into a confused expression “what i gotta do?” she rolled her eyes “get even duhhhhh!! you way to pretty to let this nigga cheat on you with a big back ass bitch you know that.” you snorted at her compliment “ion know mar, maybe gwen didn’t know we was dating” you said trying to express grace to gwen.

“bitch how?? all that nigga do is talk about you, not to mention youre his lock screen.” you tilted your head in agreement, she spoke up again “and you been told his ass all that shit he did with gwen was weird and he didn’t stop it? if he wanna act nonchalant you can act notchabitch” margo smiled as she her attempt to cheer you up worked. “speak of the damn devil, guess who texted me.” you smirked as margo raised her eyebrow “don’t tell me you talm bout hobie.” you tried to fight the smile on your face as you clicked on his message

“hey, wyd rn?” the text read. margo sighed as she saw the smile on your face “HOBIE. HOBART BROWN?? really (name)? well i mean the way he looks at you is crazy, and i been saying y’all would be mad cute .” she shrugged as she resolved up her own feelings, you nodded as you thought about it . was this really what you wanted to do? hurt miles? nonono if he didn’t care about hurting you he can’t say shit when you do it back. you texted hobie back “nun rn, wby?” and he replied almost instantly “im bored, lemme come over?” you almost laughed at how you realized that hobie has never cared about your relationship with miles . you told him yes and you said your goodbyes to margo as you got ready for him to come over, eyes burning as you saw the multiple hoodies that miles owned .

“hey love.” hobie said as he walked into your room from the window, you always noticed hoboes accent but you never noticed how attractive it was until now. “hey hobie.” you said as he lifted your chin up with index and thumb. “you’ve been crying? what happened ?” he said trying to read your face. “um nothing just stuff with miles” he almost winced at the mention of miles, he would offen tell you that he wasn’t good for you, guess he was right. “what did he do now. something when gwen again i bet” you sighed deeply remember the messages in his phone again. “yea, he’s cheating i just found out.” hobie eyebrows furrow as you say this, if he didn’t like the way miles was treating you before, he definitely hated him now.

“i was just joking but, really? what the fuck? after everything you’ve done for him? i’m gonna murder him i swear to g-“ “hobie no, no don’t say anything. i’m fine i’m gonna deal with it myself.” you say pushing him back with your fingers. “at least let me make you feel better.” he said giving you a tight hug. he smirked as he said “you know i’d never make you feel like that.” you snorted into his chest pulling away, hobie grabbed your face with both hands and kissed your forehead. “you don’t deserve this ,(name) you deserve the entire world” he muttered , looking down at you with so much care. stand on your tipe toes to kiss hobie, he doesn’t kiss back for a while in shock but then he reciprocates it and you know you shouldn’t do this, that’s the exact reason why you did it anyway . you pull away looking up into his deep brown eyes, you needed this, comfort from someone that wasn’t hurting you. someone that wasn’t him. he kissed you again more aggressively this time. he pulls away this time only to catch his breath. he pecks your lips once , then twice. he smiles at you then walks to the bed and turns on the tv, you thought it was weird but you also didn’t want to talk about it, and definitely didn’t wanna do anything further. after watching tv with him at a uncomfortable distance you decide to address the elephant in the room.

“so, we not gon talk about that?” you turn off the tv before turning your head to look at him and he does the same “we don’t have to, you know i like you. but i don’t think you need that tonight, i think you just need me here.” he said and honestly, he was right. even though he had you all the way fucked up onna tuesday, you still loved him. you just nod at hobie and he kisses your cheek wrapping his arms around you so he’s spooning you, the way hobie is holding makes you think that he’s the only boy in the world. he falls asleep and you lie awake looking at the ceiling, you decide to go on instagram looking at people’s story until you see gwen’s story, it was a picture of her and miles in his car her feet up on the dashboard, the same car you were just in, the same car you had your first kiss in. that’s not even the half of it, the picture had a “besties” caption on it but you could tell from 20 miles away they were far from that. you take a picture of hobie asleep and post it, tagging him too copying the same caption as gwen had. after maybe 20 minutes miles replies to it “wtf? why are you letting hobie touch you like that? and i thought u had to watch your sister” “and i thought you and gwen were besties?” you reply back sending him the screenshots you send to your phone if gwen and miles text he starts blowing u up like crazy but you put your phone down and snuggle closer into hobie, maybe you could get even.

doing my own thing,

i’m down to come clean,

not like you.

lmk wat u think 😭.

[hanasnx]

hiii, how’d you feel writing 65 + 68 with anakin ?

i think these go pretty well together :)

prompt: #65 + #68

prompt list | rules

minors dni 18+

word count: 0.9k | character(s): anakin skywalker x f!reader

warnings: established relationship, no plot rly, no y/n, calls you “girl” once, you cry but this is not a dacryphilia piece, actual smut (eating you out, sinking his dick in), kinda fluffy in his own special way, comforting you but you’re not crying bcos of sadness or pain just overwhelming orgasm.

There's something so intoxicating about a lover who mixes pain with pleasure as beautifully as Anakin can. A well-rounded experience makes for satisfaction because he runs you ragged when he's got the time. Teasing that can only be described as torturous as he meticulously traverses your entire body head-to-toe with his hands and mouth. Erogenous zones given extra special attention as he consumes all you have to offer. As if willing to imbibe your very essence without second thought to consequence. Drinking you like red wine as you release, pouring it down his throat all the while he seldom takes a breath. Your nails scrape against his scalp as you draw his head to you, every detail of his plump lips apparent against your sensitive folds.

Nothing short of overwhelming, crying out to release boiling over emotions that can't be shook out through the tremors coursing through your very nerve endings. Exploding in a quaking orgasm, you claw on him as if intent to draw blood. His wet tongue laps up the excess, dripping down to the fat of your backside, concerned over whether or not he's wasting all you were so generous to give him.

You're limp, as lymphatic as liquid, while Anakin creeps up, hovering over you leaving congratulatory kisses in his wake. Chest heaving with hot pants, you lull your head to watch him, meeting those blue eyes already patiently awaiting you. It's not dim enough to conceal the lines of his face, becoming clearer as he crawls into your atmosphere. A level of cautious restraint to his expression that betrays his desire to have you now, yet he depends on your word. Inches apart, you smell yourself on his jaw. That wave that crashed through you so intensely, now ripples, and its effects linger. It reverberates, and that tug on your heartstrings opens the floodgates. Heavy, warm tears gather at the corners of your vision, streamlining down your pout as you fully realize the lasting impact your orgasm had on you. The feeling of emptiness between your legs is replaced with a swollen head prodding in search of your entrance. Out of humiliation, you throw your arm over your twisted countenance in an an attempt to veil it from your lover, so as to not make him uncomfortable.

Instead of invading the space you've created for yourself, your arm remains where it lay, and Anakin nips at the length of it. His soft, feathery voice soothes you in a loving croon, “I know, baby, I know. I’m right here, just breathe.” You've done this before, he's experienced being on the receiving end many a time by it. In the past you've instructed him to pleasure you through it for it's simply a symptom of being staggered rather than pained. Not everyone is capable of it. Choking back sobs, your mouth stretches into a grimace he can't help but dip down to kiss. His sweating forehead rests along your ulna as he clumsily runs his lips along yours, grazing your teeth, collecting your spit on the crest of them.

When he retracts, a string of drool connects you, breaking as he adjusts you. Expert hands redirecting to fold your legs on either side of him, and he sinks only his glans inside. "You're too tight, angel," he whispers. Hugging him in a vice, he gently rocks his hips, refusing to introduce you to more than the tip.

Finally, you absorb his advice, and control your breathing. To be filled is an ardent desire indeed, and the sting of stretch is not welcome for your recovery. Deeply inhaling, forcing it to level until salty tears dry sticky on your skin.

"That's it, girl, that's it." he commends, "You're doing well." A large hand strokes your hair affectionately, immersing more of himself with each kind piston. "S'not so bad, is it?" His honeyed approval is a disguised method to coax you out of the shell you've retreated into. All the while he comfortably steeps his length halfway in. Your bottom lip trembles in an acutely pitiful way, to the point your lover urges you to quiet it by sucking onto it; he runs his tongue along it in order to acquaint you with slipping into your open mouth, silencing you himself as he hums in content against you. You can taste your remnants on him and you palm his rotator cuffs, momentarily quivering around his member entwined with your insides.

"'Want... need more," The only sentence you can muster, dangling off of your wavering voice as you mumble it pressed against his lips. There's a curl to his you recognize, pecking the corner of his mouth it exists on. You're unsure if he's ignoring you for a purpose because you cannot see his face to determine why he'd continue to rock inside you lazily. It's not enough, surely he must know that. "Please, Ani—?"

“Shh, just look at me, baby.” he coos. Tentatively, you slide your arm away from your sights, allowing your surroundings to come into focus. Yet again those patient, blue eyes await your meet. Steadfast, he's your anchor to this world, leading you back to the ground as he moves within you, and reminds you why you're here— who you're here with. To reward you for your bravery, he drives into you at his leisure until he's sheathed.

A gasp emits from you, squirming as if you could persuade him deeper. The sensation of being filled sorely missed to the point of extreme yearning. As soon as you're able to accommodate him, he thrusts into you with reckless abandon. Stuffing your center as many times as you call upon it.

[bestbouy]

i think i just love the idea of the different universes with their like, styles???

like how Gwen's is totally watercolor and Hobie's is all scrapbookish punk n newspaper, y'know???? and, of course, Miles and Pavitr's are both more "normal" but they still have that... you know... v i b e... they're both normal but they have elements that make it their own. Like how Pavitr's universe is mainly super warm colors?

anyways this got me thinking y'know how it's super obvious Hobie has a different universe style?? not so much for Gwen because hers is a little different, but with the whole. changing skin, the OUTLINE, it's very obvious

I think it'd be super cool if in Hobie's universe, it's kind of like the opposite for anybody who's not from it? They have their own like, radius of... their own dimension???

I'm only comparing this to Hobie's dimension, it's very obvious none of this would happen in CANON so I'm literally just spitballing. Also because Hobie is the only one with the outline and funny overlay thing, and it'd be fun to play around with the other three's possible like,,, vibe!!

Gwen would leave like, imprints of watercolor? like dabbing it on a piece of paper, leaving color that dries out back to normal over time?? it would bleed into the world around her, it might even mimic her emotions with the color!

If she was upset it would be harsh, spread more, it would come out in spiked reds and blacks?

happy would seep in a lot more subtly, and cover a lot more space, but you wouldn't realize how much room it's taking up just because it's so slow to take it up and really is only at about.. idk, 20% opacity, slowly builds up the happier she gets? it would be more visible in puddles, just like with normal watercolor (Compared to anger, which would be very in-your-face and obvious)

It would rely a lot on her emotions, methinks, the stronger they are, the more visible the color!

Miles would have a sketchy, drawing-like atmosphere to him, kind of like what you can see on the spot y'know? and, since the spot came from Miles' dimension, I think it makes sense!

It would be less noticeable, but the things he interacts with would probably turn into a slightly stylized version of itself? A cup he holds or drinks from wouldn't change DRAMATICALLY, but it might copy his look and have sketch-like lines around it. Nothing huge, but enough that you can tell what he's touched in the past few minutes/hours

Pavitr would have a similar vibe to Gwen's, but with warm colors instead! His effect wouldn't change with emotions like hers, but it would probably bleed in the same way as hers. He would leave behind trails of warm oranges and yellows wherever he goes and leaving it behind on what he touches. He wouldn't notice this, but it would be veeery obvious to Hobie or anybody from his dimension.

Actually, I think the way that we can spot Hobie because of his differences in outline/radius effect would highly apply to them in his dimension! Everybody in Hobie's world can CLEARLY tell that Gwen, Miles and Pav aren't from there, and while the common person might not recognize they're from another universe, they might get the same feeling as if you were seeing like.. a skinwalker, or something. They're human, but it doesn't feel like it.

ANYWAYS back to Pavitr

He has a warm, cozy vibe, I think unlike the others his can seep more into emotions, I think he's an empathetic person and that melts into his little area effect. if he's super happy or excited about something the people around him get a tiny bit happier too!! when he's sad (and it's rly hard to make him sad bc this boy is POSITIVE THINKER #1) his colors get a bit colder, but I don't think they would affect other people like his happy ones do, honestly just SEEING such a normally happy guy so sad would do enough to ur mood than some radius effect lol

ANYWAYS that's just a lil thought. they are silly. and this is going into my ideas folder. have a good one n remember to drink water

(I would go on but this is super long already XD)

[dyemelikeasunset]

now that’s it been more than a year since you started dom and mor, how do you think your way of writing and drawing them has changed since you first began?

it HAS been over a year since my journey with the Babygirls began 🥹 I think for how I write and draw them differently:

Mor

i draw her hair a lot better!! i didn't know the terminology was "transition hair" when I first started, so finding resources was really hard. Now I have so many videos to help me lmao

She's also gotten visually softer!! I've always liked drawing skin folds (i find them pretty) and it naturally started happening more often

I've really been trying my best to show Mor's depth. She's a character archetype that a lot of people don't prioritize exploration unless it's traumatic like break-the-cutie tropes, and while Mor does have trauma in her life I've really reeeaaally been doing my best to show all her facets without exposing her to emotional brutality. This isn't so much a change, more like a focus for this year bc it's something that bothers me in a lot of other media. Let cute soft girls be emotionally deep without making them miserable

Mor's developed a couple cute little expressions, like her wobbly mouth and lopsided grins 🥹🥹🥹

Dom

Well Dom's obviously gotten more built but that was planned 😭 but I think her features are finally getting settled too!! I struggled with her a lot at the beginning bc there's so much negative space in her facial design (that sounds rly weird lmao), but I finally got her proportions down!!

her soft smiles 🥹🥹 I didn't know that Domi was capable of such gentle expressions, but I feel like it's one of the things she's known for now

I'll be honest I also didn't expect Dom to be so funny LOL. I like stoic humor but I wasn't originally planning for her to be the funnier one in the relationship most of the time. I like it though, it's fun!!

As I've been developing her backstory with more detail, Dom's revealed that she's quite naive and innocent lol. She's Babygirl #2 and she deserves that!!

[sweet-marigold]

Hii!! I was wondering if you can answer a few questions for my art research paper?? Ignore if no lmao

Does your artstyle change depending on what you draw? As in is it different when drawing an oc as compared to something like clothes? If so or if not what's the reason?

Does your art / creations reflect or include things or scenarios that has happened to you or someone you know? If not are all scenarios purely fictional? Why?

How do you feel drawing sensitive subjects that may have happened to you or is a real world problem?

How does the way you feel while drawing affect your art?

I feel like I'm interviewing you lmaooo- i just think ur art is neat :P if ur uncomfortable ignore!!!

Hi hi!! Yea I’m down this is fun :D

Yes my art style changes depending on what I’m drawing! When I draw helluva or hazbin I adjust my style to fit the style of the show while keeping it distinctly mine.

It’s different when I draw something more inspired by anime like Genshin or realism like self portraits c:

Clothes I tend to use my own personal style most without much inspo from the media I’m drawing.

Hmm scenarios depend on the art but, most of my art draws only from fiction. I like being able to express my creativity through my art and tell the story I want without being shackled by my own experiences.

The way you feel while drawing can be very important!! Often times when I feel sad or upset I will try and draw happy things and characters being comforted or brought joy. When I feel stressed I try and draw or make things that embody a feeling of calmness.

However most other artists like to do vent art to help get their emotions on to the paper which I rarely do, but it can also be very therapeutic! It’s also very encouraged in art schools and professional fine art settings.

Hopefully my answers were okay haha and dw!! This was rly fun to answer c:

[hinamie]

wanted 2 make a bit of an update post to get a few things off my chest bc i feel like i've been a bit quiet on here compared 2 normal and for that i apologize gsdhjgfdsj I promise I will do better at being chronically online

in all seriousness though, ever since the jjk manga ended, I've started experiencing th dilemma where I am feeling less inspired but also twice as pressured to continue living up to the standard I set for myself by being so active while the manga was ongoing. i'm finding it's taking longer than it should to finish pieces that are not challenging enough to warrant the extra hours, it's harder to come up with what I think are original concepts, and overall i'm just anxious that the high i've been riding since april has finally begun its descent.

I know logically tht these expectations i'm worried about being unable to meet are entirely self-imposed. I /know/ that not every piece needs to be a profound character tribute packed with symbolism and hidden meanings, but tht doesn't change the fact that it still feels really disappointing when I try to dig for that emotional component that I was really loving in the art that was inspired by later manga chapters, only to come up short. I'm feeling myself defaulting back to drawing My Ship Posed Cutely, or Character Lineup In Cute Outfits, whereas before I was really feeling like my art was touching something beyond just surface-level aesthetic. This isn't to say that I don't think I can ever get back to creating those harder-hitting pieces, or that I /dislike/ my more lighthearted aesthetically-driven work, I'm just frustrated at myself for feeling like I have to now dig for what used to be so readily available.

there's no conclusion to this story gfhjsgd this is rly just a vent post. i've been doing this long enough to know that this is just part of what happens with any creative hobby. periods of feeling uninspired unfortunately come with the territory, n it makes sense that those feelings wld be exacerbated now that the series i take my main inspiration from has come to a standstill for the time being. but I don't feel burnt out on jjk yet, which is reassuring in that it means I know I still Want to draw the characters, no matter how boring or overdone all of my current ideas feel. i'm in no rush to move on from jjk as my main fandom either, although I do see myself sprinkling in more art for other series to pass the time n keep me Inspired while I wait for s3. so for those of you who found me through my art (probably most of u), i guess also pls take this as both warning and reassurance that you most likely Will see me start drawing for other fandoms in the coming months, but don't take it as meaning I've abandoned drawing for jjk

and as always, thank u all for sticking with me and for all the support and lovely words on my art, it rly does make my days brighter <3

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

[can-tthink]

VALENTINORION

book ramble below (little messy to call it a review lmao)

hi i’m alive!!! long story short my mood has been rly shit, so i took a hiatus off art for a while and also went into a reading slump, but i finally managed to finish tftdate today!

i love but also hate the ending oml, this book is so beautiful but the way he (no spoilers) dies is so brutal, i had to step outside and touch some grass to process that 😭 AND THE VIDEO IN THE USB DRIVE GAVE ME SO MANY MIXED EMOTIONS. BRO IM SHITTING TEARS. THEY LOVED EACHOTHER SM. i’m so glad he thought ahead to make the video though, it’s so bittersweet. they didn’t even get to look through their photos together though

it’s so thought provoking just like the first book and it made me think so hard about how things could’ve been different, like if valentino never moved to new york or if his landlord was a different

but all we, the reader, know for sure is that valentino would’ve stayed miserable if he never met orion. and orion finally got a boyfriend. they both lived their dreams in one day, i think that’s the closest to a happy ending we can get.

to be honest i find adam silveras writing style a little choppy and fast paced, but it didn’t stop me from learning a lot about valentino and orion, and their interactions are so cute

i even had some hope at the end that things would go right but nope ☹️

i felt a whole lot of different emotions after the ending, but one things for sure, i cried a lot!!! 😍😍😍 i don’t know what’s with adam silvera and making gay couples sad bro, this book is so homophobic of him smh. the only way i can describe the ending is awfully bittersweet. and the way the side stories tie together is so genius but so cruel at the same time, so kudos to adam silvera for that

anyway good news is that it sparked an art idea for me, so i decided to draw these sad gays to cope

to me they’re just paid actors and the whole book is fake and they’re happily married alr nobody can convince me otherwise

also my art is inspired by some old art VIVINOS made, she’s a really cool animator

[catgumi]

megumi doesn't like to cause scenes. rarely does he make a fuss when things don't go his way, he'd rather brood about it for a while than speak his mind in the moment, for the most part. sharing his emotions, likes and dislikes — all those little parts of himself — doesn't come easy for him. perhaps it's because he doesn't actually pay much mind to things concerning himself. he likes dishes with ginger, so when he eats said dishes he enjoys them, but he's not actively picking them from the menu. and it never really clicks that he has a favourite until someone asks him what it is, and he thinks about it.

that being said, yuuji is fairly observant. when they sit down for a meal, he notices the things that megumi unconsciously puts to the side of his plate, or eats last. he notices the subtle change in expression, the softening of his features when megumi appreciates something. yuuji knows.

so when megumi receives the wrong drink at a café, he doesn't say anything. simply stares down at his cup; ruminates the mistake in his order, but he was tired, and he was sure the waitress was tired too. he'd just drink it. yuuji catches on (he won't draw unwarranted attention) perks up, and says that he remembered megumi saying that was his favourite drink. megumi had never said that, so he corrects yuuji quietly, grumpy. the waitress overhears, realises, and is quick to swipe megumi's drink away and fix up the right order with an apology.

no scene, but no sacrifices. megumi's features soften as he sips on the drink he had wanted to begin with, and yuuji is glad, pats himself on the back for his subtlety, then asks megumi what his actual favourite is.

(i sent in the little ask yesterday abt megumi and yuuji and the way they share interests. firstly, ilyt😭 i always love reading your hcs, they're so fun!! we're actually moots but im too much of a coward to come off anon😭 tho i hope you've been feeling better and are recovering from your cold!!)

thsi is canon i was there🙏🙏 ugh u understand them so well .

omghi again anon . thank u sm ur so sweet 😭😭 i promisr im not rly intimidating u can come off anon if u want or js dm me. its ok if u want to js keep sending these in anonymously too , i love reading them😭 n i rly appreciate it ^_^

[t-w-i-l-l-e-r]

pondering jeremy n rich friendship dynamic post-canon n y’all that shit is craaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzy. Cause I highly highly highly doubt rich just completely dropped all of his self destructive tendencies from during/before canon n I think they would defo show up BIG TIME in his relationship w/ Jeremy. Like, they have the whole squip thing in common right? That’s what they bond over at first!!! same trauma, Spider-Man pointing meme, etc etc. (that plus they were literally shoved into the same hospital room for however long. nothing brings two lost souls together like watching the nurses swap out each others bedpans. shudders in disgust <3). But the thing is like. Rich did that. He not only literally encouraged (n lowkey threatened) Jeremy to buy/take the squip, he also had a direct hand in building the insecurities that made Jeremy interested in a squip at all. Now, as an audience we can generally recognize Rich as a Very Vulnerable And Manipulated Child but if rich had that kind of self-awareness the plot of be more chill would be veeeeeery different so im gonna go out on a limb n say Rich feels megazord guilty for that. And that’s where the self destruction comes in </3. Rich keeps trying to goad Jeremy into snapping at him or being angry in the hopes of getting Jeremy to “finally stand up for himself” but rly he just wants Jeremy to be mad at him bc Rich is mad at himself n feels like he deserves it. I am a VERY firm supporter of Jeremy Heere Snarky Arc post-canon (bc I feel like we see a lot of Jerry Sass in bmc but it’s limited to either just in his head or (affectionately) to Michael), n I think Rich would absolutely play a role in Jeremy developing that side of himself. BUT. Not necessarily in the way rich wants. Bc again, same trauma!!!! Jeremy recognizes that rich understands him now in a way that nobody else rly does. even the ppl squipped @ the play don’t rly understand what that thing does 2 a person after a while, and jeremy rly needs rich after everything, more than either of them realize. He’s not willing to just reject rich out of hand like rich subconsciously wants him to so you get this dynamic that’s just like:

Rich: aw, you mad? You upset lil bitch boy? Whatcha gonna do about it huh???? Hit me???? Do it i dare you!! Fucking hit me!!!!!

Jeremy: rich it is 9 in the morning. 

And I think rich would very quickly learn that ~friendly ribbing~ n stuff is a slippery slope with Jeremy. On one hand, if he teases Jerry n he rolls his eyes n snarks right back, HELL YEAH!!!! Revenge Of The Nerd!!!! Mission accomplished!!!!!!! Rich sees a lot of himself in Jeremy n I think he would be very genuinely proud of him for not just taking shit like he used to (and rich might also think jeremy is actually clever n funny n like that jeremy feels comfortable around him n bond bond relationship sssssshhhhhhhhhh). On the other hand, sometimes rich hits a little too close to home n Jeremy goes quiet. He gives a curt response, or just doesn’t say anything at all. That shit drives rich crazy. Rich says smth shitty about Michael or Christine or smth n Jeremy doesn’t talk to him for a week n by the end Rich is pulling his hair out n just word-vomits “IM SORRY IM A DICK PLZ CAN WE GO BACK TO PLAYING CALL OF DUTY TOGETHER” 

And the thing that fucks me up the most is that. Jeremy is afraid of Rich. Not as much as he was before (I’d imagine watching Rich bitch n moan every time he had to get his bandages changed kinda sanded down the edges a lil bit) but he can’t just forget all that bullying, even if he wants to. For rich, the worst moments r when he goes too far with trying to get Jeremy to b aggressive n instead he just goes pale. His mouth draws into a thin line n he gets fidgety but not the loose stimming of when he’s relaxed or deep in thought, sharp and tight motions like he doesn’t want to be spotted. And he won’t meet Rich’s eye. GIRL!!!!! How does rich even begin to process that emotional LABYRINTH bc like, he feels shitty bc he spent so long trying to fix his self hatred by being a dick 2 Jeremy but now he realizes being a dick is actually… dickish. And unpleasant. And so now he has more self hatred about it. Oops. And then Jeremy’s having a shit time bc PANIC MODE SCARY LOUD but then I think he subconsciously realizes rich feels bad so he feels bad for making Rich feel bad and ugh. Ugh. Yikes. 

But then the thing is,,, Rich can make a joke. Maybe reference their shared SQUIPerience—SQUIP experience, obvi—emphasize the connection between them (rich has gotten rly good at managing potentially dicey social situations. You’ll never guess where he got that skill from). And Jeremy will laugh, a little forced at first but rich keeps going until he’s curled up on the ground, cracking up like he’s about to piss himself. And Rich feels a little bit like he dodged a bullet but a little bit like he gained a friend so? If u add it all together it basically cancels out, he thinks. So they keep talking and hanging out and playing fuckin Call of Duty together and it’s not an apology, not really but… it’s a start, y’know? 

N that’s what gets me about Rich n Jeremy post-canon </3. They both need each other, and they both know it. They understand each other in a way that nobody else in their immediate circle does which is important bc we know how much Jeremy struggles talking 2 new ppl and post-fire Rich is too busy putting the burnt up pieces of his life together to reach out to other SQUIPtims. Jeremy is comfortable around rich in a way that he is with nobody else in the world because he gets it, and Rich feels the same way whether he likes it or not. But Jeremy is also so deathly terrified that it’s all gonna be an elaborate bit, that Rich is unfixable and will always treat him like human garbage or worse Jeremy is unfixable and will always b treated like human garbage. And Rich in turn is afraid of Jeremy’s fear, what it means about himself that he could ruin someone’s life so thoroughly. But then he like? Wants to get Wendy’s with him. So it’s like. Whatever. 

FUCK!