#certified yap sesh oml

[t-w-i-l-l-e-r]

pondering jeremy n rich friendship dynamic post-canon n y’all that shit is craaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzy. Cause I highly highly highly doubt rich just completely dropped all of his self destructive tendencies from during/before canon n I think they would defo show up BIG TIME in his relationship w/ Jeremy. Like, they have the whole squip thing in common right? That’s what they bond over at first!!! same trauma, Spider-Man pointing meme, etc etc. (that plus they were literally shoved into the same hospital room for however long. nothing brings two lost souls together like watching the nurses swap out each others bedpans. shudders in disgust <3). But the thing is like. Rich did that. He not only literally encouraged (n lowkey threatened) Jeremy to buy/take the squip, he also had a direct hand in building the insecurities that made Jeremy interested in a squip at all. Now, as an audience we can generally recognize Rich as a Very Vulnerable And Manipulated Child but if rich had that kind of self-awareness the plot of be more chill would be veeeeeery different so im gonna go out on a limb n say Rich feels megazord guilty for that. And that’s where the self destruction comes in </3. Rich keeps trying to goad Jeremy into snapping at him or being angry in the hopes of getting Jeremy to “finally stand up for himself” but rly he just wants Jeremy to be mad at him bc Rich is mad at himself n feels like he deserves it. I am a VERY firm supporter of Jeremy Heere Snarky Arc post-canon (bc I feel like we see a lot of Jerry Sass in bmc but it’s limited to either just in his head or (affectionately) to Michael), n I think Rich would absolutely play a role in Jeremy developing that side of himself. BUT. Not necessarily in the way rich wants. Bc again, same trauma!!!! Jeremy recognizes that rich understands him now in a way that nobody else rly does. even the ppl squipped @ the play don’t rly understand what that thing does 2 a person after a while, and jeremy rly needs rich after everything, more than either of them realize. He’s not willing to just reject rich out of hand like rich subconsciously wants him to so you get this dynamic that’s just like:

Rich: aw, you mad? You upset lil bitch boy? Whatcha gonna do about it huh???? Hit me???? Do it i dare you!! Fucking hit me!!!!!

Jeremy: rich it is 9 in the morning. 

And I think rich would very quickly learn that ~friendly ribbing~ n stuff is a slippery slope with Jeremy. On one hand, if he teases Jerry n he rolls his eyes n snarks right back, HELL YEAH!!!! Revenge Of The Nerd!!!! Mission accomplished!!!!!!! Rich sees a lot of himself in Jeremy n I think he would be very genuinely proud of him for not just taking shit like he used to (and rich might also think jeremy is actually clever n funny n like that jeremy feels comfortable around him n bond bond relationship sssssshhhhhhhhhh). On the other hand, sometimes rich hits a little too close to home n Jeremy goes quiet. He gives a curt response, or just doesn’t say anything at all. That shit drives rich crazy. Rich says smth shitty about Michael or Christine or smth n Jeremy doesn’t talk to him for a week n by the end Rich is pulling his hair out n just word-vomits “IM SORRY IM A DICK PLZ CAN WE GO BACK TO PLAYING CALL OF DUTY TOGETHER” 

And the thing that fucks me up the most is that. Jeremy is afraid of Rich. Not as much as he was before (I’d imagine watching Rich bitch n moan every time he had to get his bandages changed kinda sanded down the edges a lil bit) but he can’t just forget all that bullying, even if he wants to. For rich, the worst moments r when he goes too far with trying to get Jeremy to b aggressive n instead he just goes pale. His mouth draws into a thin line n he gets fidgety but not the loose stimming of when he’s relaxed or deep in thought, sharp and tight motions like he doesn’t want to be spotted. And he won’t meet Rich’s eye. GIRL!!!!! How does rich even begin to process that emotional LABYRINTH bc like, he feels shitty bc he spent so long trying to fix his self hatred by being a dick 2 Jeremy but now he realizes being a dick is actually… dickish. And unpleasant. And so now he has more self hatred about it. Oops. And then Jeremy’s having a shit time bc PANIC MODE SCARY LOUD but then I think he subconsciously realizes rich feels bad so he feels bad for making Rich feel bad and ugh. Ugh. Yikes. 

But then the thing is,,, Rich can make a joke. Maybe reference their shared SQUIPerience—SQUIP experience, obvi—emphasize the connection between them (rich has gotten rly good at managing potentially dicey social situations. You’ll never guess where he got that skill from). And Jeremy will laugh, a little forced at first but rich keeps going until he’s curled up on the ground, cracking up like he’s about to piss himself. And Rich feels a little bit like he dodged a bullet but a little bit like he gained a friend so? If u add it all together it basically cancels out, he thinks. So they keep talking and hanging out and playing fuckin Call of Duty together and it’s not an apology, not really but… it’s a start, y’know? 

N that’s what gets me about Rich n Jeremy post-canon </3. They both need each other, and they both know it. They understand each other in a way that nobody else in their immediate circle does which is important bc we know how much Jeremy struggles talking 2 new ppl and post-fire Rich is too busy putting the burnt up pieces of his life together to reach out to other SQUIPtims. Jeremy is comfortable around rich in a way that he is with nobody else in the world because he gets it, and Rich feels the same way whether he likes it or not. But Jeremy is also so deathly terrified that it’s all gonna be an elaborate bit, that Rich is unfixable and will always treat him like human garbage or worse Jeremy is unfixable and will always b treated like human garbage. And Rich in turn is afraid of Jeremy’s fear, what it means about himself that he could ruin someone’s life so thoroughly. But then he like? Wants to get Wendy’s with him. So it’s like. Whatever. 

FUCK!