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#and i was not originally going to add sex but I know some people out there would love it
cinnamonest · 6 months
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I'm not looking to start shit so I'm not linking it or anything, but you may have seen a recent anti-dark-content post circulating with a lot of notes making rounds in the x reader sphere and while I have nothing against people posting their feelings in their own private spaces, every time I see these kinds of posts there's a lot of misinformation that gets regurgitated in the reblogs/replies and I saw what looked like a battlezone in the replies, so.
I know posts like that can be very jarring and affects people like my readers, so to combat misinformation/shaming for anyone who saw it, I'm going to share some of my information on combatting fandom puritanism/misogyny/kinkshaming in its most common forms.
The most important fact, if you read nothing else, is this:
Most women have rape fantasies.
62% to be exact. I think the most pervasive myth on this content is that consumers are "weird" for it, when the numbers don't indicate that. You're in the majority!
The vast majority of people who have rape fantasies do not put them into practice in real life. A variety of factors can determine whether or not they do, particularly specific psychiatric disorders. (X)
To specifically address common harmful and pervasive myths:
the "go to therapy!" line
Generally any academic or professional resource will immediately tell you that consuming and engaging in "dark" fantasies is accepted and encouraged by mainstream psychiatry and part of the professional education for psychiatrists. (This also used to be pretty well-known until like the last 5 years or so, not sure why that changed.)
Here are some particularly insightful resources:
1) This article by Dr. David Wahl, in my opinion, hands-down does the best job of simply and thoroughly explaining why these fantasies occur and why couples practice CNC, as well as the fact that they are both harmless, psychologically beneficial to those with them, and not at all correlated to real-life rape.
2) Dr. Claudia Six has some of the best and most thorough material out there on the subject, specifically explaining why this is taught in mainstream academia psychology and how it is incredibly helpful to rape victims (X).
3) Lisa Diamond is a professional who focuses on this subject a lot, and was featured in the documentary "The Dilemma of Desire," in which she specifically focuses on how these fantasies are not correlated to real-life desires. (X)
4) Dr. Casey Lyle has specifically talked a lot on his socials about how fantasies, even in men/the perspective of the offender, do not correlate to actual risk of offending.
5) This article is not by a professional, but from the perspective of a survivor discussing how it is beneficial to survivors.
the "why would you want that?" line
The idea that fictional tastes = what you want to happen to you in real life is actually of misogynistic origin. I don't want to seek out or add links on this one, but if you're really curious, you can research about how the idea that "women read rape fiction, that means they secretly want rape!" was originally a classic "red pill"/MGTOW/4chan talking point that made its way into mainstream dialogue and thus the public mind in the last 15 years or so due to the incel epidemic popularizing those communities.
the "it's only valid for survivors then!" line
On one hand, yes it's very important to acknowledge that trauma victims use it to cope, however I feel that over-emphasizing that gives the impression that non-victims should be excluded from consumption of dark content, so to clarify, it's a very valid means for all women. Many women who have not personally experienced rape still fantasize about it, and that's fine.
The full explanation as to why this is true for many of them would be lengthy (and addressed in the aforementioned Dilemma of Desire documentary), but in the simplest terms, nonconsensual sex is the only context in which patriarchal society permits women to have sex at all without feeling guilt. For many women, particularly those in more heavily misogynistic or religious cultures, these fantasies are appealing because the idea of consensual sex may give them feelings of shame, guilt, "sin," etc. These fantasies allow them to experience the feeling of being desired without guilt of participation.
No society on earth is free of the psychological grip that cultural misogyny has on women, and shaming women for adapting to the conditions they are forced to exist under is as harmful as the misogyny that causes it itself.
ALL women experience a form of psychological trauma inherent to female childhood and female adolescence in a patriarchal world, and that is just as valid as coping with individual traumatic events.
Good resources on the subject of why women have these fantasies and how they are helpful in general:
(X) (X)
The "what you consume will make you do it in real life!" myth
Although the resources above already address this, it's important to establish why this myth is so prevalent and what its origins are.
The idea that consuming media with dark themes leads to or indicates desires to replicate those acts is a residual element of two major events:
1) Puritan revival culture, popularized in the US and UK in the 90s and 2000s (also known as "Satanic Panic"). A major facet of this movement was TV megachurch preachers making money off of exploiting well-meaning but paranoid parents into believing that your child playing Dungeons and Dragons or Pokemon would make them future serial killers and lure them into satanic cults. (X)
2) at the tail end of this, it was cemented in the public mind as a cultural ripple aftershock of the Columbine shooting, where this sentiment became popularized as the general public blamed violent video games like Doom and "dark" music like Marilyn Manson (whose life was temporarily completely upended by the events and took him years to recover/be safe from) for the 1999 shooting. This event had MASSIVE permanent and global effects in all sorts of ways that the public often underestimates the sheer scope of, notably that it solidified, prolonged, and, in the minds of many, "proved" the paranoias of the preexisting Satanic Panic. (X) This established a precedent, leading to virtually any major horrible event being blamed on the perpetrator's media consumption, including murder and sex crimes.
What this myth ignores in the cases it references (the slenderman stabbings, columbine, sasebo slashing, batman shooting, etc) is two crucial facts: that hundreds of millions of people consume the same media with no negative effects (helpful effects even), and that in every single case cited as "evidence" to the claim, the perpetrator had a preexisting psychiatric condition correlated to acts of violence (which usually went ignored, downplayed and even accelerated/worsened by those around them rather than the help they needed).
Sorry for the wall of text, but I feel an ethical obligation to combat this kind of misinformation, and I hope these resources are helpful for those who may be negatively affected by common misunderstandings.
You are not abnormal or wrong for the fictional content you consume or the fantasies you have!
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tojiscumdumpster · 7 months
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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ toji fushiguro x his favorite customer (revision)
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✧ summary toji has a little soft spot for his favorite customer that he can't get enough of.
✧ content warnings reader is a black woman who uses she/her pronouns. chubby!reader and inexperienced!reader. rich girl in her midtwenties, very needy! usage of profanity, standing missionary, oral - m!receiving, doggy style, mixture of praise and degradation kink, breeding kink, unprotected, creampie and squirting, terms of endearment ─ pretty girl, princess, baby, baby girl, etc. softdom!toji with rough, passionate, and filthy intercourse. told in first POV ─ toji's. i got reader calling toji TJ, and i think that’s so cute pls.
✧ author's note happy birthday to my baby daddy toji fushiguro! we've been going strong now for years. just a little something something to celebrate him. this fic has been in the drafts since December. talk about black people time, old sksk. also, if you already seen the original of this fic on tumblr, it's mine lol. this is just a revision, so don't go around saying i copied someone! my writing has changed so i wanted to redo this and add some adjustments. i hope y'all enjoy. support me by reblogging, liking, and commenting your thoughts. ♡ AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND/OR MINORS - DO NOT INTERACT.
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 When it comes to women I fuck, I treat them the same because at the end of the day, they pay me good money to stuff their pussy with cock. 
 Don’t really care if they're married either. I usually get the old, desperate broads that aren’t getting any attention from their husbands at home, so it’s my job to make them feel good for the night. 
 I don’t do favorites. 
 I damn sure don’t give discounts. 
 And I definitely don’t get attached. But the moment I met Y/N that all changed. 
 My favorite customer. 
 Never did I expect a younger woman to pay me to get fucked, especially when she looks that good. 
 I’m almost positive she has a line filled with fuckers that’s desperately wanting to know what this tight, wet pussy feels like, yet here I am, living their fantasy. 
 I fucked Y/N once. 
 Then, twice. 
 Then, again.
 And again.
 And again…
 If I didn’t know any better, I’m fucking obsessed with her. Can’t even say it’s just for the money she’s paying me. Probably the best pussy I ever had.
 No. 
 It is. 
 So fucking warm, and she takes dick well, too. I usually give only an hour or two to my customers, but for Y/N? I reserved the whole night to relish her pussy. 
 The perfect fuck to end my day. 
 Those soft, sweet-sounding moans that slipped through her full brown and pink lips, having my previous cum shot staining them had me running wild. 
 But it seems like I’m not the only one who’s sex drunk. 
 Cock is all on Y/N’s mind right now. Whimpering and crying how big I am and thanking me for giving her dick. Tears pricks those chestnut-colored hues and I’m in fucking awe. She’s so damn pretty. 
 “You know how gorgeous you look taking cock like this? Being a good fucking slut for me, princess?” I ask, being met with a nod and her moaning in response. 
 Y/N’s pussy talks to me. Wet noises spreading throughout the room while I have my arms hooked under the fold of her knees, fucking her recklessly to push past any intrusion. 
 She’s jumping with me every thrust I make, causing her tits to bounce obnoxiously. I take one of her nipples into my mouth and suck on them like it’s my last dying breath, hearing that sweet whimper. 
 I belong in Y/N’s pussy, and she belongs to me, too, the way she’s gripping my cock and milking me. All of her cream and wetness drips between us and down my balls, and it feels fucking amazing. Every time I experience her velvet walls, I find myself becoming more animalistic, hungry and territorial over someone who should only be seen as a client. 
 But fuck, something in me says I would go batshit crazy if I ever found out she had other motherfuckers experiencing this. 
 Knowing how she looks when sweat coats her beautiful brown skin. How it feels to stretch her out and make her adjust to you. Just thinking about it makes me pound into her deeper and more aggressively. 
 “Toji, baby, yes. This feels so good,” she purrs. “Like that. Keep fucking me like that.”
 I hum. “Yeah? This is what you wanted, right? Paid me to please this good pussy?”
 By all means, Y/N isn’t a virgin, but she told me she doesn’t have much experience and I can tell by how tight she is. 
 Our sounds of pleasure resonate in the air, and I call her my good girl, praising how perfect her pussy is, to be met with her squeezing me and watery brown eyes. 
 “Toji… Toji… Yes. God, yes.”
 “Keep using your words, pretty girl. Tell me how much you love my dick in your pussy,” I ordered softly.
 “I love it so much. It’s so big, baby,” she tells me, slurring her words because of her lips still being on mine. “You’re going to make me cum.”
 I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. “Not yet. Come taste yourself.”
 Without hesitation, Y/N slides down to her knees and starts sucking my dick. I hiss at her swallowing me and the warmth of her mouth. She doesn’t take her time when sucking me off, immediately circling her head and throating me. 
 “Hot fucking mouth made to suck dick, huh, pretty girl?” I firmly grabbed her chin so she could look at me. “Eyes up, sweetheart. Open up your throat for me like a good girl.” 
 Y/N hollows her cheeks and bobs her head fervently on my dick, tightening her lips around me. 
 She sucks dick so fucking good, better than any other woman I’ve been with. And I just know I’m bound to bust quickly if she keeps doing this shit. 
 My hand finds the back of Y/N’s head to grip and I buck my hips deeper into her mouth, ensuring I hit the back of her throat everytime. I’m a fucking mad man when I begin fucking the gorgeous face, especially when she’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes. 
 A spoiled brat, prim and shy, who’s spending daddy’s money to get fucked and folded by an old bastard like me. Think I fucking developed a kink for this type because of Y/N.
 I pumped into her mouth more aggressively until she began choking and gagging on my cock. Drool and precum coating her mouth in the process. 
 Any type of control Y/N tries to take, I push past it because I want to use that pretty little mouth of hers how I want. She needs to get her money’s worth when fucking with me. 
 “Going to fuck my cum deep down that throat of yours, and you’re going to swallow it. Got that?” She nods and I softly tap the side of her face. “That’s it. Keep those lips tight around me.” 
 “Toji, pl—please,” she slurs, causing me to chuckle. 
 “Hm, look at you. Trying so hard to talk to me while sucking my dick. It’s cute.” I slow down my quick thrusts, but replace them with more fervent ones, pushing me and her head down until my cock outlines her throat. 
 My balls grow heavy and obnoxiously slaps Y/N’s chin, a clear indication I’m about to fucking cum. 
 Grunting, whining, gasping like a little bitch for air because head like this has a fucker like me sounding like a broken mess. 
 Blood rushes to my groin and I start getting sloppy, feeling my muscles tightening and ache burning between my thighs. I’m close, so fucking close to filling her mouth with my release, then I can finish fucking that fat pussy. 
 Everything about this damn woman is perfect. Her pussy. How she sucks cock. That fucking chubby and curvy body of hers. A pretty face with loaded cash.
 Yeah, she’s definitely mine after tonight. And I’m talking about anything lovey dovey. Meaning if I catch her being a slut like this to anyone else, I’d kill that fucker. 
 No hesitation. I-
 “Y/N, fuck!” I grunt while cumming in her mouth. This load is fucking heavy, but she’s trying her best to swallow every drop. 
 I groan at the sight of Y/N touching her tits and palming her pussy, knowing how much she’s turned on, too. It’s like the vibrations of her moans pulls more cum out my fucking dick.
 A mess I made on her face, but the joyful lust I see in her eyes tells me she doesn’t give a damn. 
 Good, because I’m not finished with her. 
 “All fours on the bed. Now,” I demanded. “Still gotta fill up your pussy.”
 Perfection is what I think when I see Y/N from behind, arched back, ass in the air and pussy dripping, ready for me to fuck. 
 I force an arch in her back and plunge my cock in her tight little pussy with one deep stroke. Y/N gasps in the air and I take the opportunity to pull her up by the throat and start pounding her cunt. 
 Why the fuck is she so goddamn wet? She takes cock well, bud shit, I abruptly slip out each and every thrust. 
 “Keep me inside that pussy, baby girl. Stop fucking letting go,” I gritted in her ear. She reaches behind her to hold my dick and push back into me with a tighter grip. “Hm, just like that. So fucking good to me, aren’t you?”
 “I need more dick, TJ. Fuck me harder, baby. I can take you,” she moans. 
 Begging for cock she’s already paying for… Shit, I get a kick out of how pathetically sexy she sounds. 
 I repeatedly slammed into her wet cunt, thrust after thrust, pussy creaming even further than before. If it’s one thing I can listen to for the rest of my life, it’s how Y/N sounds when she’s being fucked. 
 My name drips perfectly from her lips.
 Our skin smacking fills the air in the room along my hand striking her ass until I guarantee it’ll bruise in the morning. 
 “Look at this fat ass moving when I pound into this pussy. Fucking beautiful,” I growled.
 “Toji, please. I… I don’t care how much… I’ll pay more. Just keep fucking me like this.”
 I chuckle. “Atta girl.”
 I see why motherfuckers catch feelings when fucking pussy. I almost feel tempted to tell Y/N that I love her while fucking her. She has pussy that’ll make a fucker crazy… Possessive… Jealous.
 I applied more pressure to Y/N’s throat and pulled her against my chest. “You know who this pussy belongs to. Right, princess?”
 “God, yes, Toji. You… it belongs to you.” Her voice comes off as a faint cry and I know she’s on the verge of cumming. Especially with how her pussy is pulsating around me. 
 “Mhm, that’s right. Dreamed of my fucking dick pounding this tight little cunt, now I have you mindfucked. Huh?” I pinch her nipples with my free hand and increase my thrusts. “You’re about to come for me. Aren’t you, Y/N? I know you are. I can feel it. You should see the mess your slutty pussy is making between us.”
 “Fuck, I didn’t mean to, baby. It’s just… you feel good. So fucking good,” she whimpers, bouncing her ass back into me to meet with my thrusts. 
 “Maybe I should have you clean it with your mouth. Hm?”
 I release Y/N’s throat to shove her face into the bed and deepen her arch more than before. My single hand returns to her hips to grip, pulling her round ass back on my cock to kiss her center. 
 Can’t get over how wet—how tight and warm this fucking pussy is. The harder I fuck her, the louder her pussy gets and I grunt, curse underneath my breath at hearing the sound of her muffled moans. 
 I don’t give a fuck if one of us catches feelings after this. Actually, I want her to. I want Y/N to be dick hungry only for me. 
 I want her pussy to smell like I’m the only fucker that’s been running through her. I’m even fucking tempted to breed this pussy just so she’s mine.
 Why the fuck would I want to have sex with any other women after knowing what Y/N feels like? 
 “You take cock like a fucking pro. Look at you gripping me. Look at how this pussy is mine.”
 She spreads her ass cheeks to feel every inch of my dick. “Fuck me, Toji. Harder. Fuck me harder, I’m about to cum.”
 “Shit, me too, sweetheart. Such a perfect fuck toy. Going to fill you all the way up,” I rasped. “Fuck me back. Keep taking this dick.”
 My thrusts are sloppy. I throw my head back and swear into the air and moan her name. My balls grow heavier and heavier until I fucking but and empty my cum inside her pussy. 
 And she’s right there with me, crying my name and thanking me for giving her toe-curling orgasm. 
 Fucking enjoy hearing my pretty girl thank me for giving her cock. She just looks so damn pretty when she cums, too. 
 Dark brown skin sweating. The sight of her ruined makeup with mascara running down her cheeks. Moans sounding like a broken record. 
 Yeah, she’s a perfect fuck. 
 My favorite customer. 
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© 2024 tojiscumdumpster Do NOT copy, translate, plagiarize, repost (sharing links is okay) anywhere. I only upload on tumblr and you will find some of my work in ao3.
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sxcret-garden · 7 months
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Haechan ღ Painted with You [M]
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ღ NCT Dream Haechan x fem!reader ღ feat.: short mentions of Renjun & Jeno ღ words: ~15k ღ genre: college AU, fwb to lovers, exes to lovers, fluff, slice of life, slow burn, pining, reader is a little dense, angst, humor, smut (switch!Haechan (but sub-leaning), oral (both receiving), hair pulling (idol receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some begging, fingering, handjob, edging, orgasm denial (idol receiving), dry humping) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, depiction of anxiety and reader feeling burnt out, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms
Desc.: You and Donghyuck were a couple back in high school, each having your own reasons for dating the other, but ultimately what you seeked out in each other was a distraction. Now that you meet again five years later, you both come to realize that the connection between you is still there, and eventually it’s crystal clear that the people you’ve become won’t be as easily separated as back then.
Author's note: aaaa I've had this in my drafts for sooo long avoiding to proofread it cause I wasn't happy with this at all... so now I finally came back to it to edit a bit and I think in the end it turned out quite okay^^ I hope you guys like it 🫶
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There’s a hint of victory in the smile he gives you when you sit down next to him. Like he knew it would come to this - that you’d get bored of exchanging mundanities with the others and eventually find yourself drawn to him as your only escape. And it’s not like you didn’t know it too, it was clear from the moment you greeted each other with a hug that lasted shorter than it should have, and at the same time felt more familiar than you wanted it to. Yet his stance is inviting as he turns his whole body towards you in his seat, and the curiousity in his eyes is apparent.
“Long time no see,” he says, and it comes out softer than you would’ve expected it to. And he probably had the same thought, because he’s clearing his throat now, talking more firmly as he continues, “What have you been up to?” The last time you’ve seen each other was at your high school graduation ceremony, and since then it’s been almost five years. Which, as your former class president Renjun had decided, was about enough time to gather for a reunion. 
“Well, you know. This and that,” you try to avoid an answer, but of course he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. He knows you too well for that.
“Come on,” he snorts. “You can tell me. My time wasn’t spent in a purely productive manner either.”
“You probably spent about 3 years total on just playing video games…” you say with a grin playing on your lips, and you make him huff in disbelief, before his expression as well returns to a somewhat mischievous smile. 
“Now that was just tactless,” he says, straightening his back now. “I quit uni to go to work, and then started again with a different major. So now I’m a freshman!” He gives you a peace sign with his hand, sounding a lot prouder about the fact than he should’ve been.
“Feeling like 19 again?” you joke.
“Yes! Everyone automatically assumes I’m their age,” he explains. “But then I tell them I’m older, so I can make them work for me!” An exaggeratedly mischievous laugh follows, and you can only shake your head at his shenanigans.
“You haven’t changed at all,” you say, turning away and facing the bartender working just a few seats away. Originally you were all going out for dinner and nothing more, but when some girls suggested paying a nearby bar a visit, nobody could refuse in the face of getting some booze into their veins. Maybe you aren’t the only one who’s getting fucked over by life.
“One margarita,” you raise your hand and order, then you add, directed at Donghyuck, “Anything for you?”
“Just soju.” And so after placing both your orders, he adds, “Still can’t drink the adult drinks?”
“Excuse you, it has alcohol in it, so it is an adult drink. But if you’re asking if I still hate bitter stuff - yes I do.”
“I see… anyway, I’m not letting you get away without properly answering my question.”
“Too bad,” you respond. “Well…” And then you hesitate. You remember what it was like between the two of you in high school. When you were dating, each for your own reasons and certainly not because you had feelings for each other. But he still felt like a friend you could entrust your deepest feelings with - you knew each other like the back of your own hand. And yet, you find yourself hesitating in the face of five years passed by without a word from the other. It wasn’t like you had a fight or broke up on bad terms. It’s just that you both agreed it would be better not to see each other again, for reasons that seemed smart at the time. But now that you’re looking at the person he’s become and how much he seems to have grown up, you’re not sure anymore what those reasons even were.
“That bad?” Donghyuck interrupts your train of thought as he raises an eyebrow at you, and when you shake your head a short laugh escapes him.
“No, just… I’m also still in university,” you say. “I had to take a year off, so I’m trying to finish everything now. It’s not going great though.”
“Oh…” he looks away, directing his gaze at his hands that he’s hiding in the sleeves of his knitted sweater. “Are you managing though?” And that’s when you suddenly feel the past and the present connect - the way he immediately becomes serious when the situation calls for it, just like he has always done, makes you feel safe to keep speaking, and to keep your heart open, just for a bit.
“It’s… difficult,” you admit. The bartender sets down your ordered drinks, causing another pause, and you acknowledge it with a nod. “I’m trying not to do too much, but you know what’s it like living here.”
“Yeah,” he says. “That fucked you over before, didn’t it?”
“Yeah.” You fall silent after that, but not for long. Your conversation partner is Donghyuck after all, he wouldn’t let an awkward silence get too long.
“I have changed… by the way.” You raise your eyebrows at him as he speaks those words, letting the sip of your cocktail slowly trickle down your throat.
“Have you?” you ask. “Well, I mean… you’ve grown up.”
“Oh?” Suddenly seeing him straightening his back as he’s overjoyed, you can’t but giggle at the way his face is graced with a beaming smile now, but he glosses it over with a cough and a sip of his soju.
“But you sure are still the same guy,” you add, a nostalgic smile on your lips. 
“I guess,” he agrees, his features softening. Another pause falls upon you as you give your cocktail another taste, and this time it’s you who breaks the silence. Continuously chatting, you’re starting to feel a little tipsy from the sweet beverage after a while.
“I heard you got a girlfriend?” Donghyuck huffs, a wide smile meant to hide a bitter feeling appearing on his face.
“Yeah…”
“What about her?” you pry, sensing something off.
“Dumped me,” he simply says, then pointing across the room and at Jeno, one of your former classmates. “For that guy.”
“Ouch.”
“It’s whatever,” he shrugs it off, pouring himself another glass and offering the shot to you instead. “You sure you don’t want any?”
“I’d rather have my own drink, thanks.”
“Alright. Then cheers.” He downs the shot, grimacing at the taste, and when he sets the glass back down, he adds, “I don’t get why she went for him anyway. I bet it’s cause of all that muscle he got.” You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you hit his upper arm playfully.
“You should hit the gym too and then see if you can get her back.”
“Very funny,” he replies dryly. “I’d rather die.”
“Understandable…” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as well. “So… you’re probably glad I finally came to you.” Donghyuck shoots you a questioning look and you explain yourself. “For a distraction. Like in the old days, you know?”
“Ahh…” He merely lets out a sound, before staring at his empty shot glass. 
“You’re not doing that anymore?” you assume.
“I guess.”
“Yeah… me too,” you say. “Or like… I stopped using people for it.”
You were dating back then, that’s true, but you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves high school sweethearts. You were both going through some stuff - for him it was a breakup with his first love, for you it was just life itself. When you were both at your lowest you started talking properly, and it soon became clear that you both wanted nothing more than to escape. And so you formed an alliance - as you used to call it, to everyone else you simply said that you were a couple now. You did behave like a couple, but just for the rush. The first time you held his hand you felt nothing, but when you made out secretly in the backyard of your school instead of attending class, that’s when you were overwhelmed with excitement. It was a stupid idea, you know that now too, and it only worked for so long. You spent the summer of your junior year together, meeting up almost every day and talking, and eventually distracting yourselves by making out secretly in your or his room. And then your final year came, and as you started seeing yourselves forced to take life a bit more seriously, you gradually met up less, until you both agreed that breaking up would be the best decision, so that you could focus on your studies and try to get into a good university. At least for your part, you still have mixed feelings when you remember that day. Because you know you made the adult decision, but at the same time you always end up thinking back to what fooling around with him felt like when you have a bad day now, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it at least a bit. But you found other distractions - obsessing over tv series, finding just the perfect kind of music to drown out your feelings, and sometimes, whenever you could find a good excuse to drink with friends, alcohol. Though you’re being careful with the latter, just as you are now. One drink is usually enough to help you relax a bit and not pay all the things stressing you out so much thought.
“So when are we gonna start writing your redemption arc?” you ask nonchalantly, and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Your ex.”
“Stop that, for real,” he says, and the way he remains serious tells you your joke wasn’t well received.
“Sorry,” you utter.
“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but you know what I mean.”
“Yeah.” He’s playing with the glass in his hands, thumb rubbing along its edge as he keeps staring at it, and you take the last few sips of your drink, before you too start spinning the cocktail glass around between your fingers.
“Actually…” Donghyuck speaks up, now throwing you an entirely different look. “How about we get out of here. Maybe we could both use a distraction after all.”
“But-”
“Just for today.” You stare at him blankly, blinking once, twice, then a third time. This sounds like a bad idea, but at the same time you know you’re probably not gonna see each other for the next five years, just like it was for the past five. So what would be so bad about taking his offer now?
“Alright,” you say eventually, having made up your mind. “My place? It’s nearby.” His lips are parted slightly as he watches you jump out of your seat and put on your jacket. As the air around you changes, so does the look in his eyes, and a moment later he gets up too, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist while he holds the door open for you as he walks you out of the place.
“You really have changed,” you comment as you’re sneaking out, so none of the others would notice, and you giggle at your unnecessary secrecy once you’re past the entrance to the building.
“I can be a gentleman too!” he insists. “Of course a high school boy wouldn’t think of that.” You catch the pout that forms on his lips as he adds the last part, and you inevitably laugh, pointing at his face.
“But you’re also really still the same.”
You decide on going to your place, as it’s nearby, and you take a taxi there. Though you know this is only going to be a one time thing, neither of you seems to be in a rush. You take the elevator to the sixth floor, grinning at each other in silence the entire ride - maybe because this reminds the both of you a bit too much of the way you used to sneak off together all the time back in school. But once you arrive at your apartment, the atmosphere between you somehow changes, and as you’re walking over to your little kitchen to offer him a drink, he stops you, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch is firm now, and he comes to a halt when he’s standing right in front of you, closer than a friend would, but leaving more distance between you than a lover would, and keeping his voice lowered, he asks,
“So… are we going to go right to the distraction part? Or do we need to pretend that we still need to warm up to each other first?” You find him staring at your lips, then returning his gaze to your eyes as he waits patiently for your response. And you don’t manage to come up with anything smart to say to him, so you simply take a step forward, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, and you kiss him. His lips feel soft, just like you remember them, melting against yours perfectly. Yet there’s a firmness to his kiss that feels new to you. He used to always kiss you with eagerness, too much of it at times, impatient to feel more of you and for you to take control. It was no secret between you two that he actually quite enjoyed being put into his place by you, and now that there’s no such intentions apparent behind the way he moves his lips against yours, you find yourself having your breath taken away by the time you part. 
“You really did grow up well…” you mutter, barely an inch apart. “Did your ex teach you to kiss like that?” 
“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he mutters darkly, another side of him that’s not exactly new to you, but one that you haven’t seen a lot in the past. And then he simply brushes his lips against yours again, softly and with care, quite in contrast to his sharp words. “I don’t wanna ruin this with thoughts about people I don’t know anymore.”
“Right…” you whisper, and before you can add a mumbled apology, he presses his lips to yours again. In between short kisses that inevitably leave you longing for more, he steers you closer to the wall behind you, until he has you trapped against it. Your shoulders meet the cold surface gently, and as you’re slowly getting to know this different side of him, you feel yourself being swept off your feet like he never knew how to. 
One of his hands resting on your waist, his fingertips creep towards your hip as you’re sharing an open mouthed kiss. A moan escapes you when he presses you up against the wall closer, and as he slowly parts from you, you can see the playful grin showing on his face now.
“You changed too,” he comments, and again he closes the distance between you without giving you a chance to question his words. Your hands finding their way up into his short hair, your fingers get tangled with the strands and you carefully tug at them as he deepens this kiss as well. He’s kissing you slowly as you let him have the lead naturally, and as you keep making out like this, you eventually find yourself burning up whole under his touch. He moves from your mouth to your neck eventually, and you lean your head back with a deep sigh as he begins scattering hot kisses all over the area. His hand that’s been propped up against the wall now finds the back of your nape to support you, and when he comes back up, he whispers a question,
“Do we keep going like we used to? Or do you wanna go all the way this time?” Drunk on his kisses, you pull him in for another one on the mouth, and as you part you mutter,
“We’re not kids anymore. Let’s go all the way.” You step aside and he lets you, and you reach for his hands to walk him over to your couch. Giving him a push, he lets himself fall back onto the sofa, leaning against the backrest as his curious gaze never leaves you. “Don’t need this anymore…” you mumble as you pull off your shirt and throw it somewhere onto the ground, and then you crawl into his lap to straddle him. His hands find purchase on your hips immediately as he looks up at you with warm eyes. You cup his face in your hands and you lean in, capturing his lips in a teasing kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, you lure a breathy moan out of him, and wanting to hear more, you keep kissing him like that. Feathery touches that would for sure make him want more eventually become overshadowed by you rolling his hips on top of him, and with each time he lets you hear his voice you become more eager. It’s almost as if you’ve become the one who can’t wait, and he’s the one acting with patience.
“Never knew you could turn me on this much,” he mutters as you pull back, moving your hips at a leisurely pace. You can undoubtedly feel the bulge in his pants, and it’s certainly not leaving you unaffected.
“I grew up too, Hyuck,” you say, and then you bury your face in his neck. You kiss a trail up to the spot right below his ear as he leans back, and his hands wander up your sides and to your back when you start nibbling on his skin. 
“Mhm… you did, hm?” he answers. He finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, and as the piece of clothing slides down your arms, you sit back so he can take it off you and fling it to the ground as well, somewhere in the general direction of where your shirt should be. He holds onto your sides as he takes in the sight in front of him, and as he draws closer to connect his lips to the skin on your chest, you can hear him saying,
“I know I never told you this as a boy but you look beautiful. I really regret not saying that to you.” He kisses his way up from the valley of your breasts to your throat and then back to your mouth, and just before he can connect his lips to yours, you whisper,
“It’s fine. I might’ve actually fallen for you if you had done that.” You laugh, and he does too, but his grin has a different meaning to it than yours.
“Don’t say that. We don’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” Connecting his lips to yours, he runs his tongue across them to ask for permission to enter, and without protest you let him deepen the kiss.
“Now you’re the one who said it,” you mumble a response in between kisses. “That’s a stupid thought anyway.”
“Right.” His fingertips dance south along your spine, and he eventually tugs at your pants as a sign that he wants those off as well. And so you peel yourself out of his hold, and while you’re discarding your jeans, he slips out of his shirt, and both clothing items land somewhere on the floor, soon to be forgotten. He makes you lie down flat on the couch as he crawls on top of you, and when he leaves a trail of small kisses up your torso, one of his hands finds its way to your hips, thumb hooking under the fabric of your panties.
“These too,” he says. “I want these off too.” You give him the okay to take them off as you comb your fingers through his hair once, and as soon as he’s gotten rid of the last piece of clothing on your body, he lowers himself to let his lips draw a map of your figure. Feeling his warm hands against your sides, you let out a sigh as you lean your head back and you close your eyes for a bit, just enjoying the way his kisses feel against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair again, and you find yourself massaging his scalp as he’s slowly going down on you. You let him lift your legs up onto his shoulders eventually, and when he buries his face between your legs, you can’t but let out a small moan. Tongue lapping at your folds, he hums at your taste, and then he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently. 
“That feel good?” he asks, slurring his words a bit, and you nod, tugging at the strands of hair between your fingers.
“Yeah. Keep going…” And so he does, alternating between teasing you with his lips and the tip of his tongue, and when he retrieves one hand to slide his fingers inside you, he comments,
“So wet for me, hm?”
“Y-yeah…” You can unmistakably feel the knot in your stomach being tied tighter with every single touch of his, and when he pumps his fingers in and out of you at a frustratingly slow pace, you find yourself begging for more. “Faster… p-please…” Donghyuck simply hums at your plea, before he obliges, curling his fingers inside you just a little faster. Gradually picking up on speed, the way he flicks his tongue against your clit along with the waves of pleasure that run through your body with each time he hits that sweet spot inside you make you slowly lose your mind, and you let him know just how good he’s making you feel by moaning in tune with his movements.
“Don’t stop… please don’t stop…” you mewl as you look down on yourself to find him already gazing back up at you, observing all of your reactions closely through half-lidded eyes. Just a few more repetitions and he’s throwing you over the edge, making you clench around his fingers as you throw your head back with a moan. “Fuck…” you mutter after he pulls out of you carefully, and he crawls back up to kiss you on the lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue as you share a lazy kiss, and once you part, you place your palms on his chest to push him off you.
“Your turn,” you simply state as you sit up and you make some space so you can comfortably kneel in front of the sofa. Getting the message, he hurriedly rids himself of his pants and boxers, and when he sits down in front of you, you don’t waste another second to wrap your fingers around his length. Giving him a few strokes, he’s fully hard in no time, and he watches as he leans back, enjoying the attention.
“You really have no patience anymore, huh,” he mutters, and you lick your lips before returning his gaze.
“Want me to torture you a bit? Make you beg for it? I can do that too.”
“I can beg if you want me to,” he retorts, the confident expression not being wiped off his face so easily, and you decide to keep that piece of information in mind. Just in case. But for now you’re not planning on making him wait - he’s right, you’ve become impatient, and you’re dying to know what kind of sounds you might lure out of him with his dick in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times, watching him part his lips slightly as he lets you hear a deep sigh and a praise directed at you. “That’s right…” he mutters, and when you take his tip into your mouth fully, he lets you hear a moan so sweet, you swear you could cum just from the sound of it. Slowly bobbing your head up and down and having your hand that’s wrapped around his base follow those same movements, you enjoy the way he keeps moaning at your ministrations, until eventually you hum in approval and he whines from the pleasure.
“Fuck…” A curse escapes him when his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, and you find yourself amused at how easy it is to make a guy whine as soon as you have him in a position like this. You go painfully slow, but he takes all of your teasing, and just when you start feeling bad for him because of how desperate his moans are, you speed up, making sure to take him in as far as you can. 
“Shit, Y/N…” he calls out to you. “Wait-”
“Hm?” You come up at his words, letting him slip out of your mouth.
“Wanna cum in your pussy…” The request makes you grin.
“So demanding…” you mutter, shooting him a challenging look.
“Please…” he tries to convince you, his pupils shaking as he’s awaiting your answer. But you’ve already made up your mind on how you’re going to proceed, and so you merely throw him a grin, before taking him back into your mouth. He throws his head back at you sucking him off at a faster pace now, probably in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, and as more curses fall from his lips along with your name, you know he’s close. You hum at his desperation and at the way he’s twitching in your hand while he’s bucking his hips up into your touch, and the next time you’re sinking all the way down on him, he cums with a moan. You try to swallow everything as he releases into your mouth, and when you let go of him you lick your lips to get the rest of it too, all while he watches with a hazy mind. And then you crawl into his lap, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of his throat, and eventually you say,
“Why not both?” You grab his face in one hand, gaze falling to his lips, and before he can say anything you kiss him to cut off his train of thought. “We have so much time tonight…” you mutter against his lips in between kisses, and he merely lets out small moans at your words. “We can do all the things we want. But let’s move somewhere more comfortable first.” And so you hurriedly walk over to your bedroom, Donghyuck pushing you against the mattress as soon as you’re there, and he doesn’t waste a single second to kiss you again. His lips nipping at your collarbones, you throw your arms around him, until finally you switch positions again, and you end up sitting on top of him, sinking down on his hard cock and biting your lower lip from how good it feels to be filled up like this.
“Fuck…” Now it’s you who’s cursing, fingers intertwined with his as you’re pinning his hands down to keep yourself stable. You know he’s drinking up the sight in front of him as you start slowly riding him, and the way he looks at you only turns you on more. 
“Shit, you look so pretty like this…” he mumbles, completely taken aback, and he sits up, freeing his hands to hold onto your sides instead. “Can I kiss you?”
“You’re asking that now?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he lets out a short laugh as he too realizes how ridiculous his question was.
“You’re right,” he mutters, leaning in. “Then I’ll just kiss you whenever I want.” A rush of heat courses through your body as he presses his lips against yours, and you roll your hips on top of him just a little faster.
“Please do,” you whisper, barely audible, before Donghyuck closes the distance between you again. You take your time making out, until both of you feel that you’re coming close again, and with one hand between your bodies, he starts rubbing your clit for you as you keep your pace.
“I’ll help you,” he whispers, unable to take his eyes off your face as you’re both completely drunk on the other’s touches.
“Mhm…” you moan, chasing your own high on top of him. You’re the first one who comes undone, digging your nails into his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck as your high shakes you.
“Don’t stop, Y/N…” His words sound desperate, and you do your best to keep moving despite feeling the overstimulation building up. He has both his hands on your back now, and you let out a moan when you feel him dragging his nails down to your hips. “Shit…!” Spitting out a curse, he releases inside you, and finally you come to a halt. You stay in your positions for a while, waiting until your heartbeats have returned to a normal pace in each other’s arms, before you both lie down side by side, out of breath and grinning at the other.
“Didn’t think you’d get that good without me…” he mutters a comment.
“Hey!” you shout playfully. “What was I supposed to do if you just disappear on me like that?”
“You didn’t contact me either,” he tries to defend himself, but you both know it was him who stopped replying to your messages, even though your conversations were already scarce after graduating. For now you decide to say nothing - your mind filled with bliss from what your night out ended up turning into, you wouldn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, he’s the one to break the silence.
“Wanna keep going?” he asks, scooting over closer to you and making you lie flat on your back, kissing a trail down your jawline and placing a hand on top of your stomach. “I wanna keep going,” he adds, more silently, as his fingers are already wandering south.
“Alright,” you mutter, your hand up in his hair again as he drags his fingers down your folds, dipping inside once and then coming back up to your clit to draw circles onto it. “If I walk weird tomorrow it’s your fault,” you add, laughing.
“You just made me wanna see that,” he jokes back, before pressing a kiss to the side of your throat and letting his fingers take care of you.
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You keep in touch after that, texting each other throughout the day - even on those days where you barely find the time or energy to be social, you’ll at least send some memes back and forth - and meeting up whenever you both have some free time. It really feels like you’re continuing right where you had left off five years ago whenever you find yourselves unable to stop laughing because of your own bickering, or when you’re sitting side by side, having a more serious conversation and simply offering an open ear to the other. And at the same time something about the way you treat each other has undoubtedly changed. Of course you both grew up and you’re more mature than you were as high school students, but it seems there’s something else lingering in the air during every interaction you have, you just can’t really put your finger on what that is. 
You also keep meeting up to have sex. 
“So? What does that make us?” you ask a question into the dimly lit room, staring up at the ceiling. You’re both lying side by side on his bed, the sheets beneath you messed up as evidence of what you’ve been doing, and the chilly air in the room hitting your skin lets you cool down a bit.
“What? This?” Donghyuck asks, turning his head so he could look at you.
“Yeah,” you respond. “We’re not just friends if we’re constantly hooking up, are we?” Your words are accompanied by a chuckle, meant to tell him that you’re not being as serious as you sound. Or maybe you are, but mostly because your other friends keep asking where you’re sneaking off so frequently these days, and why you don’t seem to have the time to meet up with them anymore. And everytime you tell them you’re seeing a different friend, a part of you feels like you’re lying. Maybe that’s because they’ve stopped believing you too, and they keep urging you on to finally admit that you’re dating someone. But you’re not dating Donghyuck, right?
“Fuckbuddies?” He rolls onto his side, head supported by his hand, and he gives you a mischievous look.
“I guess,” you say, and after some consideration you add, “My friends keep asking who I’m meeting all the time. They think I have a boyfriend.”
“Well, what does it feel like when you kiss me?” You’re too stunned to speak for a moment, not expecting him to pose such a serious question.
“I mean… you’re a good kisser?” You grin at him, rolling onto your side as well so you could face him, and as you’re drawing near, he’s already reaching out to capture your chin between his thumb and index finger.
“That’s all?”
“I think so.” He lets his lips brush against yours, puffy and reddened from making out earlier, and you feel warmth wrap around you. You also feel safe with him, but that’s not exclusively related to him kissing you, so you don’t feel the need to mention it.
“Then I can’t be your boyfriend,” he mutters when you part.
“So friends… with benefits then?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, great,” you say, letting yourself fall onto your back, sinking into the mattress. “I can’t go around telling my friends that I’m seeing a fuckbuddy.” Your friend giggles beside you.
“I mean you don’t have to,” he says. “If it’s easier to explain, you can just pretend you’re seeing a boyfriend. I don’t mind.”
“I wonder…” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “Then they’ll want to meet you, so… anyway.” You sit up, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. “I’m kinda hungry. You wanna order something?”
“I’ll make us some ramen. But we should shower first.” He sits up as well, and when you throw him a look over your shoulder, he cocks his head to the side, giving you another grin. “Together?” You laugh at his suggestion.
“You just want another round in there, don’t you? We’re never gonna get food in that case. I’m going alone.”
“Awww…” he whines in defeat and it makes you smile. You crawl closer to him, placing a peck onto his pouting lips.
“We kiss an awful lot for fuckbuddies, though,” you remark, and then you get up.
“I don’t think we’re kissing nearly enough…” he mumbles an answer. Amused by his words, you shoot him another glance, and then you trot off to the bathroom. 
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“You free Friday night?” You glance at your phone screen when it lights up to quickly read Donghyuck’s message that you just received, and as you let out a sigh, you return your focus to the notebook in front of you. Skimming through your handwritten notes from the lecture you visited every wednesday afternoon a year ago still gives you anxiety - you’re not sure what more you’re supposed to study than this and the materials displayed on your laptop screen, and yet you don’t feel nearly prepared enough. You’re in your last semester - or at least you’re planning for this to be the last one - and you finally forced yourself to register for the exam you keep postponing because you horribly failed it the first time. The worst part is that it’s an oral exam, so no turning back once you’ve answered (or not answered) a question, even if a better response comes to you later on during the exam. And you hate that, because you know your brain tends to black out in stressful situations, and panicking while you’re supposed to recite your knowledge on a complicated topic doesn’t exactly help with that. You tear your eyes away from the materials eventually, taking another sip of your coffee and then picking up your phone off the small round dinner table in your flat.
“Sorry, I don’t have time then ㅠㅠ” You press send, and it doesn’t take long for your friend to reply.
“On the weekend? I’m busy Saturday but Sunday is fine!!”
“I don’t think I can make time until Tuesday. Sorry. Difficult exam coming up…”
“Then you should take a break!! I’m sure you’ve been studying all day” He’s not wrong with his assumption, but still you can’t bring yourself to set aside a few hours to fool around with him. You wouldn’t be able to relax and truly get the exam off your mind anyway, so you refuse again, even if it hurts you.
It’s been like this for a while now. The last time you’ve seen Donghyuck’s face was almost three weeks ago - after that university and sending job applications have taken up all your free time, and the few hours you had in between to rest you simply spent alone in the comfort of your own apartment, feeling too exhausted to even consider making plans with someone else. You know it might do you good to get out more for other things than going to uni, but at the same time you know you simply don’t have the energy right now - or you would’ve already scheduled a meetup with friends. It sucks, and you’re hoping for some space to breathe in between your schedules sometime soon, but at the same time you know you will be busy with uni until your graduation, and from then on you’ll be busy getting accustomed to work and proving yourself there. And the more you think about it, the more it starts to dawn on you that things will likely not change in the near future, and that somehow the life of a freshman and that of a senior don’t really match well at all.
But you brush those thoughts off for now. The last thing you need right now is a distraction, and so you get back to revising the contents for the exam.
And then comes Sunday afternoon, and you can feel the panic coursing through your veins as if you were about to suffocate from it any second now. You’ve always had some kind of exam anxiety, but it’s never been this bad, and you have absolutely no idea what to do with it except endure and hope that tomorrow will pass quickly. That’s when your phone buzzes to let you know you’ve gotten a message, and what you see when you open the chat room tips you over the edge. 
“This would’ve been more fun if we had watched it together~” - along with a picture of a laptop screen showing the credits of a movie, the interior of Donghyuck’s flat showing in the background. Your hands are shaking as you read his message, your head spinning because suddenly the stress and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms you. You end up doing the first thing that comes to mind - you call him. He picks up after the first ring.
“Jealous?” he teases you, and you stay quiet, your words suddenly stuck in your throat. Hearing only your ragged breathing, he sounds serious when he continues talking after a few moments of silence. “Are you okay?”
“No.”
“What’s up? Wanna talk about it?”
“...the exam…”
“Ahh… you’re freaking out because of it?”
“Y-yeah…” Tears well up in your eyes, but you fight hard to keep them from falling. You know if you start crying now, chances are you won’t be able to talk properly in order to explain yourself to him. “I studied everything but I don’t feel like it’s enough… I have no idea how I’m supposed to pass tomorrow…” A sob escapes you at the end of it, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to answer,
“I’ll come over. Just wait for me and hold tight, I’ll be there in 30.” 
And so that’s what he does. He doesn’t even give you the time to refuse when he hangs up, and sure enough roughly 30 minutes later he’s at your doorstep. Putting down his bags and taking off his shoes, the first thing he does is pull you into a tight hug.
“Come here,” whispered against the side of your head as he’s already holding you close, he hugs you until he can feel some of the tension leaving your body. When he finally lets you go, he picks up a paper bag he brought with him, holding it out to you and you take it from him. “I bought them on the way. I thought you could use some comfort food.” A glance inside the bag reveals a box decorated with the logo of your favourite bakery.
“Oh my god… thank you!” you exclaim, and you give him another hug as he lets out a bit of an awkward laugh.
“Ah, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s have these while we go over your materials together, okay?”
“Huh?” You take a step back and raise your eyebrows at him.
“I came to help you study. So you can kick ass tomorrow!” Throwing a fist in the air in a victorious gesture, you cringe a bit at his childlike enthusiasm, but at the same time you feel thankful. Like you had been in free fall for the past days and finally someone came to catch you.
“Okay,” you accept his offer to help, and then you walk over to the small table in your living room where your laptop and your notes are scattered all over. Briefly organizing them, you skim through them together, and when you’ve reached the end of it, Donghyuck starts asking you random questions related to the topic that he can come up with. And with every question that you manage to answer, you feel just a little calmer, until you’ve gone through everything several times and it’s long dark outside.
“You’re gonna do well tomorrow,” the guy sitting next to you tells you, throwing his hand up in the air to do some stretching and you do the same, your body aching for a bit of movement after sitting down for hours. 
“You think so?”
“Of course!” He seems almost offended at you doubting yourself now. “Look at all these things you memorized perfectly! You’re gonna be just fine.”
“You’re right…” you mutter. “I do feel more confident now.” Yet, you let your head hang.
“But…?” he asks.
“But… I know by the time the exam starts tomorrow I’ll be so nervous, I might forget everything…” He reaches for your hands, taking them into his and giving both of them a gentle squeeze as he looks intently at your face.
“Then you think about how well you just did and how long we just spent repeating everything you studied. With this much preparation, there’s no way you would fail.” You know that realistically speaking, that’s not necessarily true, but you decide to believe him for now. Putting trust into his words puts you at ease, so that’s what you’re going to do.
“Alright,” you say. “It’ll be fine.”
“Of course it will,” he says, laughing as if he had not a single doubt about it.
“But…”
“Another but?”
“It’s almost 2am,” you say.
“Oh.”
“Wanna stay over? It takes you ages to get home if you have to take the night buses, right?”
“It’s fine, I’ll just take a taxi,” he replies, adding, “I don’t wanna stress you out more by staying over.”
“No, I-” All the times you felt yourself forced to turn down his invitations to meet up during the past few weeks are suddenly fresh in your memory, and eventually you manage to say, “I’d actually be thankful if you could stay over… you know… keep the bad thoughts away…”
“Sure…” he responds, and growing very quiet suddenly, he gets up to wrap you into another hug. “I’ll stay.”
You each take a shower and get ready for bed, him throwing on some of his clothes you had lying around at your place anyway, and when you get under the sheets together, it feels different than usually when you sleep in the same bed. Neither of you has any thoughts about having sex for a change, and instead he simply pulls you close to let you rest your head on top of his chest. You wrap an arm around his waist as you listen to his heartbeat, already feeling sleepiness overcome you as you snuggle up to him and you can feel him drawing mindless patterns onto your skin. You feel a sense of peace and safety washing over you when your eyelids simply fall shut, and as you fall asleep you almost don’t register the way he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.
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When you open the email telling you that you got a C on your exam, the first thing you can think of doing is letting Donghyuck know. 
“I passed!!!” You send him a message, and he surely doesn’t let you wait too long for an answer, along with a little sticker of a bear wearing a gold medal and giving a thumbs up.
“I told you so!!”
“It’s all thanks to you,” you write. “We need to go celebrate! Drinks on me.”
“Sounds good~”
With a broad smile on your face you put your phone into the pocket of your padded jacket. It has become cold outside, and there’s a thin layer of snow on the streets from last night. It’s the beginning of December, and before Christmas and new years you’re still going to be very busy. You have two job interviews coming up, have to prepare for your final exams and in between you should find some time to work on your dissertation. Still somehow you’re confident that you would easily be able to find a date where you can go out for your little celebration with your friend, but when you run into him on campus a week later, reality hits you right in the face.
“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out to you as he spots you among a bunch of other students, and you fall behind to briefly talk to him.
“Oh, hi,” you say, not having seen him at all.
“You still didn’t reply to my messages,” he remarks and you immediately pull out your phone, indeed finding that you’ve left him on read two days ago.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you remember that you clearly had the intent to respond to him, but then very obviously failed to do so. “Ah, if we can meet… today?” 
“Yesterday,” he corrects you. “But I guess that didn’t happen…” You can unmistakably see the disappointment in his expression, even though he’s doing his utmost to hide it, and you furrow your brows at the sight in front of you. 
“I’m sorry… I must’ve forgotten to reply while studying or something,” you say, unable to look him in the face. “You know, finals coming up.”
“Yeah… I’m studying a lot too these days,” he says, quickly adding, “But I guess as a senior it’s only natural that you’re even busier than I am.” His words sting for some reason, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Truth be told, you’ve been studying every free minute for the past few days, and in between you had a job interview that you don’t have the best of gut feelings about. You were so busy that you barely manage to have three meals a day, and yet you feel guilty about not being able to make time for him.
“I’m really sorry, Hyuck…” you say and he mutters an “it’s okay” as an answer. “But it’s not, is it?” To that he merely glances to the side, showing a sorry smile. And right then you have an idea. “You know what?” As you reach out to take his hand into yours, he raises his eyebrows at you, taken by surprise by your sudden action. “Let’s set a date right now. Then we don’t have to worry about me forgetting to reply or something.” 
“But… that won’t change the fact that you’re super busy…” he reasons, but you cut him off.
“It’s fine, I should be able to spare at least a few hours,” you say, opening your calendar app on your phone and scrolling through the days until exam week starts. “How about next Friday? Friday night sounds like a good time for a little study break and having a celebration instead.”
“S-sure.” You barely notice how he’s atypically dumbfounded at your enthusiasm, only focusing on the fact that you finally found a date to see each other again.
“Great! My place or yours?” you ask, already typing it into your phone.
“Mine… you wanna bring the drinks? Then I’ll take care of the food,” he offers, now taking his phone out as well, probably to put the meet up into his calendar as well.
“Sounds good,” you say in a rush. “Then I’ll see you Friday! Sorry, but… I really have to go now. I was gonna study some more at the library - you coming too?”
“Ah, no, I… have class in half an hour,” he explains briefly, and as you wave your goodbyes and you’re already running off, you fail to notice how his shoulders are suddenly slouched over and there’s a hint of disappointment in the way he looks at you as you’re walking away.
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You sigh as you stare at the email you just received, and you immediately regret even checking your mailbox in the middle of studying in the first place. You got rejected for the last job you applied to - but at least you should be thankful that they let you know about it in the first place, right? After all, the last two companies didn’t even do that much after your interview with them. You gulp, trying to swallow all the disappointment bubbling up inside and attempting to shove it back down to where it came from, and then eventually you cross your arms on the table, resting your head on top and you close your eyes for a while. Another sigh escapes you, and you feel the weight of your responsibilities lay heavily on your shoulders. You’re trying not to beat yourself up over not having found a job for after your graduation yet - you know that everyone’s struggling with finding employment these days. But you really don’t want to take on a job you’re overqualified for, or one that’s not in your field of studies at all. You’ve already made too many compromises because of this, like being willing to move to another city for your job, or expanding on what type of positions you’re applying to. And still, nothing. It’s starting to get to you, even though you hate that it is, and even though you had told yourself to focus on your exams and your dissertation first and foremost. But all of these things stacked on top of each other have led you to lose your spark a bit, and there’s no denying you’re starting to feel burnt out. 
You tell yourself it’s fine, it will pass and eventually your life will get less stressful again. But for now you can feel that you’re at your limit, and you could really use some comfort.
“Right,” you mutter to yourself, lifting your head and looking at the date displayed in the bottom corner of your laptop screen. “Only a few hours to go. Then I can see him.” It’s Friday afternoon, and so you take a deep breath and bring yourself to study some more, before you can finally go to Donghyuck’s place, spending a full evening not having to think about any of this. Burying your head in your books and your lecture notes, you end up not realizing how fast the time is passing, and next time you check the clock, it’s already past 7. 
“Oh god…” you quickly pick up your phone, seeing that your friend already sent you a message asking where you are. You were scheduled to be at his place at 7, but somehow you completely lost track of time.
“I’m so sory I didn’t realize hwo late is is. Ill hurry!!” You type up that message as quickly as possible, ignoring the typos as you send it, and then you jump out of your seat to get ready. 
It’s almost 8pm when he opens the door for you and you apologize first thing as you hand him the tote bag with the alcohol you had promised to bring.
“Ah, but you thought of the important stuff,” he says with a forced smile, trying to brighten the mood a bit before he invites you in and you kick off your shoes and take off your coat to follow him inside.
“I’m really really sorry,” you say once again when you’ve made yourself comfortable on his couch. “I was studying and suddenly it was already this late…”
“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says as he carries over two glasses from the kitchen, handing you one of them. “We’re both busy, it’s not like I don’t understand.”
“But you’re upset.”
“A little,” he admits without looking you in the eyes, and when he continues talking, he does his best to sound cheerful. “But let’s not let that ruin the entire evening. We were both looking forward to today, right?”
“Yeah,” you say. “You won’t believe how glad I am to finally be here,” you add, and you feel the way your body relaxes just by being near him. You earn yourself a bright smile for that comment, before he lifts up the glass in his hand.
“I found the recipe for this a few days ago and wanted to try it,” he says. “I thought it’s your style.” You find a few ice cubes swimming in the beverage he handed you, along with a slice of lemon. The color is a dark shade of yellow at the bottom, and completely transparent at the top, and you nod at the presentation.
“It looks good,” you say. “I’ll try it. Cheers!” Each taking a sip, you agree that you like the taste, and the guy sitting next to you on his sofa explains,
“The recipe says you should put a bit of mint in as well, but… I didn’t have any.”
“I think it’s good the way it is… but, I’m starving. Let’s order food?”
“Me too,” he answers, getting out his phone. 
You order takeout, and while you eat and drink, you watch a movie that you’ve both been wanting to see for some time. You end up chatting here and there during less interesting scenes, and even though you enjoy the movie overall, you enjoy talking to him more. Eventually, as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you rest your head on his shoulder and he lets you, and you don’t think anything of the peaceful smile he gives you upon feeling you so close to him. He puts one of his hands on top of your thigh, mindlessly rubbing his palm up and down, and by the end of the movie you can’t deny anymore that his actions are affecting you. Credits still rolling, you turn your head to face him, and wordlessly you kiss him, his lips melting against yours. You part for a mere second in which you put your hand behind his neck, and as you let yourself fall against the backrest of his sofa, he hovers above you, distance closing again. 
“Hyuck…” you breathe his name when you part the next time. “Need you…”
“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he mutters into a sweet kiss, and then he gets up, taking you by your hands to pull you up along with him. As soon as you step into the bedroom you pull him in for another kiss, and you stumble backwards as he steers you towards his bed. He barely lets you lie down when he’s already on top of you, kissing you more deeply. Tongue running across your lip to ask for permission to enter, you allow it without hesitation, and you moan at the way he kisses you slowly but passionately. 
“I’ll take care of you,” he says after parting, “just lean back, okay?”
“Okay…” you answer and he lets his fingertips wander down your clothed body. Undoing the button of your jeans, he unhurriedly slips his hand inside them, and he watches you intently as his fingertips brush against your soaked panties, his voice sultry as he teases you, “So wet already… I didn’t know you were that desperate for me…” Before letting you answer, he leans in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth, starting to rub up and down between your folds slowly.
“I thought I’d go crazy without this…” you confess, arms wrapped around him and one hand up in his hair. You play with his locks as he teases you, and you whine, “More, please… don’t make me wait even longer…”
“What do you want, baby?” he asks, and then he buries his face in your neck, leaving kisses there as you throw your head back.
“Anything… even if it’s just your fingers, please just get me off…” you beg, only now realizing just how desperate you really are. Donghyuck gulps at your words, and he kisses his way up to your jaw and along it, until his lips are hovering right above yours.
“Tell me how badly you need me…” he mutters, pushing the fabric of your underwear aside so he could touch you directly. “I wanna hear everything.” As he starts rubbing small circles on your clit his lips go back to tending to your neck, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin and making it that much more difficult for you to form coherent sentences. Still you can’t but do as told.
“So bad… need you so bad,” you mewl. “I tried to get off so many times, but nothing feels as good as when you touch me…” He hums at your words, granting you a finger dipping inside your pussy for just a moment in return and gasping at just how wet you are.
“I’ll make up for it,” he says. “I’ll make you cum so good.” You whimper, and then you instinctively buck your hips as his finger ghosts above your entrance. You hear him curse through gritted teeth at how needy you’re becoming, and blood rushes to your head from the thought alone that your state could turn him on so much as well.
“Please… just give me your fingers…” you whine, and to your surprise Donghyuck doesn’t drag out his teasing for longer. And so you cry out when he pushes inside, pumping in and out of you while watching your every reaction to his touch. “Fuck…” you hiss, already seeing your high approaching from far away. “I’m not gonna last long…”
“It’s okay,” he coos over you. “Wanna feel you cum around my fingers… can you take another one?”
“Y-yes… yes please…” you say mindlessly, only being able to think about how you want to feel him more. The stretch is bearable when he pushes into you with three fingers, and when he presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves, fingering you skillfully, you think you’re about to lose your mind. “Fuck… yes… don’t stop, please…” you mewl as he slowly picks up speed until he can see the bliss on your facial features. At this point all you can do is moan his name and dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you cling to him, bucking your hips in chase of your orgasm. 
“Shit, you’re so pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he marvels at the sight in front of him, and next thing you know your whole body is shaken by the force of your high. You whine as he fucks you through it, right until your last aftershocks, and then you simply close your eyes as you lay back on his bed, feeling the exhaustion from the past weeks taking over you. Licking his fingers clean after pulling out of you, he then captures your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.
“What do you want me to do next?” he asks, his words sounding maybe even sweeter than usual to your ears, and you blame it on the way your mind is still in a haze from your orgasm. You think about it for a short while, and in the end you simply snuggle up to him closely.
“Let’s just… stay like this for a while,” you answer. “If that’s okay with you… I think I just need to be close to you.”
“Sure…” Donghyuck mutters, a bit taken aback by your response that must’ve come very unexpectedly to him. However, he doesn’t hesitate to put an arm around your frame, making you feel safe in a warm embrace. “That good?” he asks, and when you nod he presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there for a while.
You don’t move, not knowing how much time is passing while you’re merely listening to the other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s warmth. At that moment, you wish you could stay like this forever, but as you close your eyes and begin to relax, all your thoughts from the past weeks about your situation with him catch up to you one by one. Deep inside you know it can’t stay like this. And the longer you’re dragging this out, the more clearly you can see just how unfair this is on him. And so eventually, you don’t see any other plausible course of action to take next than to start talking.
“Thank you… for being by my side,” you mutter. Your hand having found its way into his, you’re playing with his fingers, eyes focused on that. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you lately… really.”
“Of course!” he responds, moving back a bit to get a proper look at your face. “You know I’d do anything for you.” You chuckle at his exaggerated words, letting go of his hand and ruffling his hair instead.
“I’m glad to have met you again,” you continue. “But… I’ve been thinking, you know? And I don’t think we can go on like this.”
“What…?”
“Just… I’m only gonna get busier, you know…?” The exact moment that he sits up, his comforting touch being torn away from you as he stares at you with disbelief on his face, you inevitably begin to feel like you fucked up. But you started this now, and there’s no way you could dig yourself back out of this mess, so you decide it’d be for the best to just see it through and be honest with him. “You know that I could never pay you back all that you’ve done for me… Hyuck.” You call out his name, but he barely even reacts with nothing but a blank expression in his eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen him this pale. “I’m gonna graduate, Hyuck. You’ll still be a student when I start working. Hell, I might have to move somewhere completely different if I don’t find a job in this city soon. And once I do find employment, I’m gonna have to work my ass off to prove my worth. I won’t have time to fool around like this anymore…”
“Fool… around…?” he repeats, speaking slowly, as his expression suddenly reflects a hundred complicated feelings. “Fool around… was all this is to you?”
“I mean… we’re friends too, obviously-”
“Y/N,” he cuts you off, and the way he says your name stabs you like a knife. “I have feelings too, you know. You can’t just…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You’re going to tell me that it’s better if we didn’t see each other anymore, aren’t you?”
“No!” you immediately refute. “I mean-... look, we can stay friends, but I don’t know how much we’ll actually be able to see each other-”
“Friends?” he repeats in utter disbelief. “You don’t realize it, do you?”
“Realize what-”
“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you.”
“What…?” That is all you manage to reply to his confession. You really did never notice it, and so this comes as a shock to you. You realize that maybe him saying he’d do anything for you wasn’t an exaggeration at all, but you didn’t think he’d keep this fuckbuddy thing up if he had feelings for you all along. As if he had read your mind, he says,
“I’m sorry… I-... I didn’t want to tell you like this…” he speaks, his head hanging low now. “Not when I know you have a thousand other things to worry about, but… I just couldn’t… you said all these hurtful things. I don’t think you know how much hearing all that just now hurts.”
“I-,” you begin, but you don’t know what to say. You stare at him in utter disbelief for a moment, and then all of a sudden, from one second to the other, you feel like you’re going to suffocate if you don’t get out of here as fast as possible. “I… I can’t do this right now.” You get up off the bed and zip up your jeans. Your head is in chaos and your emotions are all jumbled up, but the one thing you can clearly feel is the anger burning in your veins. You truly are upset that he dropped such a bomb on you just before exams start and you need a clear head more than anything. “I’m going home… sorry,” you mutter under your breath, and without another look back at the guy who can’t do anything but watch as you’re slipping out of his grasp once again, you walk out of the door.
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“Good luck for your exams” You let out a sigh as you finally delete the notification of the message Donghyuck sent you four days ago as you’re on your way to uni for your last exam. It’s Friday noon and you can’t wait for all of this to be over, the beginning of winter break feeling like you’re finally about to reach the safe shore after you’ve been almost drowning for weeks. 
You didn’t talk to Donghyuck for the entirety of the week - of course, or you would’ve long answered his message that he sent you on Monday. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t even dare open the chatroom. Instead, you had focused on the necessities to get you through this week: sleep, eat, revise everything you studied, be on time for your exams, rinse and repeat. And now that it’s already the last day of this nightmare, you can’t wait to simply crash into bed once you arrive home tonight. 
It’s true that you’ve been feeling the relief after every single exam you finished, like some of the weight was taken off your shoulder with each time you walk out of a lecture hall. And yet you still feel the tiredness in your bones, but there’s something else tugging at your limbs and trying to make you stop running from one task to the other. However, you don’t let it. Too big is the fear of what you might find if you do stop and have a look, so you force all thoughts out of your mind that have nothing to do with your exams. And today as well your mind is empty when you take your seat and you’re handed the paper you’re supposed to fill out during the next one and a half hours, trusting your memory and your ability to recall the correct answers you have studied to each question.
As you’re leaving the lecture hall, finally done with the last one of your exams, somebody calls out to you. You turn your head to find one of your friends catching up with you, greeting you with a lively expression on her face.
“We’re finally done,” she says. “Now we only need to wait for our final paper to be graded and then we’re free!”
“Yeah,” you respond, trying to sound cheerful but inevitably failing. You’re just tired at this point, and no matter how relieved you are that exams are over, you can’t bring yourself to be happy.
“What’s with you?” your friend asks, concern in her voice. “Do you have to redo one of your exams?”
“No, no, it’s nothing,” you assure her, but she doesn’t buy it. 
“There’s something up with you. Did studying take that much out of you?”
“I guess,” you reply as you walk down the hallway with her, but then you hesitate. “Actually… nevermind.”
“Hm? Y/N, what is it? You’re being really weird.” She steps in front of you, making you halt on the spot, but eventually she keeps walking. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“...it’s about a friend,” you admit finally.
“A friend?” she repeats. “Did something happen to them?”
“No, just… we just haven’t seen each other much lately, and… yeah.” You lower your head and she steps closer.
“That must be a very good friend if you miss them so much,” she states, matter of factly, and that’s when you feel a stab right to your heart, putting you in physical pain.
“Right…” you mutter. Without you realizing, Donghyuck’s presence has painted your ordinary days in a color of hope, wrapping you in a feeling of safety whenever you’re with him and making you become way too comfortable around him. And now that it’s come this far, you don’t know how you’re supposed to scratch off all that paint anymore. The thought alone makes you feel sick to the stomach - you shouldn’t have been such an idiot. You knew where this would lead, and that you wouldn’t have the time to fool around with him anymore once you’ve graduated. A feeling of deep regret overcomes you. 
You shouldn’t have said yes when he suggested leaving your class reunion together.
When you get home that day, you finally let yourself feel the full consequences of the past weeks filled with stress and you crash into your bed immediately. You haven’t planned to go to sleep this early, but at some point you simply find yourself drifting off, and the next time you open your eyes it’s Saturday morning. 
Your body aches as you force yourself to get out of bed, and when you open the curtains and the sunlight blinds your eyes, you curse existence itself. You trod over to the bathroom, wash your face, and after finding yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror, you return to your little kitchen to get yourself a simple breakfast. Finishing it while scrolling through social media on your phone, you then get yourself back to your bed, plummeting down on it and grabbing one of the books stacked atop your bedside table that you never found the time to finish while uni has kept you occupied. You open it on the page you had left off weeks ago, and after fighting your way through roughly two and a half paragraphs, you give up and you put the book back to where it’s been resting untouched until now. Your mind just won’t let you focus on this now, so you pick your heavy body up off the comfortable sheets and decide to take a shower first of all.
Things continue like this for the next few days. Even though exams are finally over, you just can’t find it in you to rest properly. Neither going out to have fun nor staying at home and having some quality alone time sound appealing to you, and soon enough you figure out why. No matter what you do or where you are, there’s this constant pain in your chest dragging you down, because time and time again you find yourself impulsively wanting to tell Donghyuck about your day, or even just sending him a funny meme you found on instagram. But you can’t. In a way this reminds you of five years ago, when you started spending less and less time together in high school and then eventually broke up with each other. You recall finding yourself in situations like this back when you started college as well, wanting to tell him about something fun or exciting that happened but feeling unable to, because it’s already been months since you had last talked. However, there’s one significant difference between then and now. 
Then, you merely found it a shame that you couldn’t freely text him or talk to him anymore. But you had moved on, finding new friends to talk to about those same things. Now, it’s like someone had torn a chunk of yourself out of your chest, and you’re slowly bleeding out as your nervous system prevents you from doing anything at all, signaling you that there must be a more urgent matter to take care of first. And only once you come to understand that this matter has to do with nothing other than Donghyuck himself, that’s when something finally connects in your mind. Your days have been painted with his colors, but maybe you’re not supposed to get rid of all that paint. Maybe you’re simply supposed to embrace it, because after all those years he’s become someone who’s just right for you. And maybe he’s become someone you can even come to love.
No, he’s already someone you love, you just never realized it.
Without thinking, you open your chatroom with Donghyuck, his last message still unanswered, and you start typing.
“I need to see you.”
“Now.”
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You stand on his doorstep, taking a deep breath. Donghyuck had texted you back eventually, offering to meet at his place, so that’s where you are now, nervous to ring the doorbell. It was you who suddenly decided to come see him, so why are you so hesitant?
Another deep breath, exhaled shakily, and you reach out to press the bell button. Maybe 10 seconds later, the door opens, and when Donghyuck mutters a greeting with a distant expression in his eyes, it’s like a slap to your face.
“Come in, I guess,” he says as he’s already turning around, and you do as told. Taking your shoes off, you follow him a few steps inside, and shooting you a cold look, he asks, “What do you need to talk about?”
You’ve never seen him like this. Even when you broke up at the end of high school there wasn’t such a dark expression on his face. At that moment you have no idea how to shake off the guilt anymore, and so all you can do is let the words burst out of you.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” He watches you with a look over his shoulder and you let your head hang, hoping he isn’t aware of the way tears are welling up in your eyes. “I can’t imagine how much I must’ve hurt you.” You add those words through gritted teeth, afraid of a sob suddenly making its way past your lips if you’re not careful.
“Then why are you the one crying?” he asks, staying surprisingly calm.
“B-because…” You gulp, and figuring that it’s too late anyway, you lift your chin to look at him and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to see the person I love suffer.”
“Y/N…” he breathes your name before turning around fully to face you. He steps closer, but still keeps a good distance between you two. “You rejected me only a few days ago…”
“I know.” Your words are merely a whisper now. “Because I was scared… the future seems so overwhelming that I kept thinking I don’t have space for something like this. But… that doesn’t mean… that I didn’t still fall in love with you.” Silence follows, the only sound disrupting it being the soft sigh Donghyuck lets out before he finally closes the distance between you.
“Can I… hold you?” You nod at his question and you let him come closer, until you find yourself safely wrapped into his embrace, his warm breath tickling your neck as he buries his face there. 
“I’m so sorry for how I acted… you must really hate me now…” you mutter, and you’re almost startled when your friend lets out a laugh as he’s holding you.
“Yes, because I always go around hugging my enemies like this,” he says with a tired yet cheeky grin on his lips, and seeing that expression on his face suddenly washes all your worries away.
“Right…”
“It’s okay, Y/N… I know you had a rough time. I shouldn’t have confessed to you so suddenly either,” he apologizes, but you immediately shake your head, vigorously.
“No, don’t say sorry! I… I kind of get it… that it had to get out,” you say. “Especially after I said all those hurtful things to you.” He brings one hand up to your cheek, brushing his knuckles against the skin there and as his eyes scan your facial features you can unmistakably see how much he adores you. It makes your heart soar, and you part your lips as your gaze falls to his mouth.
“Y/N,” he calls out to you. “Does that mean… I can ask you to be my girlfriend now?”
“Sure…” you mumble, the urge to feel his lips on yours clouding your mind. “And when I’m your girlfriend… can you kiss me then?”
“Of course,” he chuckles, and he takes a tiny step away from you so he could take your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. “Y/N, would you be my girlfriend?” You can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you listen to his question, and you nod.
“Yes, please,” you answer. “Let me be your girlfriend.” And then he kisses you, slowly and carefully, and this time you aren’t confused on what those feelings he’s pouring into this kiss are. This time you know that it’s all the love he has for you, and you let it wrap you into a veil of warmth and comfort, feeling safe with him.
“I love you,” you mutter in between kisses, and eventually your hands find their way up into his hair. You kiss him back as you comb through it, and when you hear him whisper those same words back at you in between kisses, you once again can’t control the smile on your lips. You part to look at each other, finding an unmistakable desire for more behind his gaze, and so you begin moving as you connect your lips to his again.
"I'm sorry..." you mutter in between kisses, as you're steering him towards the bedroom, and he lets out a sigh against your lips in response. "I want to make it up to you."
"You don't have to," Donghyuck mutters with his hands on your waist, and you reach the bed, positioning yourselves so you could have him sit with one swift push against his chest. Crawling on top of him as he merely looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted while he awaits your next kiss, he's already completely drunk on you.
"Then see it as me taking care of you?" you whisper, reconnecting your lips to his. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and him having his hands securely placed on your sides for stability, you merely keep kissing like that. Unhurriedly, because now you both know there's nothing rushing you anymore, nothing that would tear you apart.
"I love you." He mutters those words as you part, and when you open your eyes you can see him already nervously peeking up at you. You can't help but smile endearingly, cupping his cheek with one hand before you lean in for another sweet kiss to his reddened lips.
"I love you too, Hyuck," you say just when you pull back, and you let your fingertips wander down his upper body. Watching his face closely for his reactions, you pull his shirt off him, tossing it to the floor, and then you add, "Lie down for me, baby. I'll make you feel good." It comes as a surprise even to you to see him obey so quickly, and you let your palm glide down the bare skin on his chest and abdomen as he lies back. And then, when you reach for his wrists to pin them against the bed right next to his head, you can see a slight but still apparent blush creeping onto his cheeks, and he lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a quiet whine.
"Fuck, you make me go crazy," you mutter as you press another kiss to his puffy lips, and when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip he moans into your mouth, the act alone sending heatwaves through your body. You instinctively roll your hips on top of his, earning yourself another small mewl from him, and then you trail kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. He leans his head back to give you better access, brows furrowed as he sighs in contentment. Forming his hands into fists, he digs his nails into his palms and whines some more as you continue grinding down on him, and the way you feel him grow underneath you turns you on as well. And then eventually you let go of his wrists to work your way down, peppering kisses all over his chest as he immediately throws his arms around your body, holding onto you tightly. 
"Hyuck..." you call out his name as you sit up briefly, and then you continue trailing nips and kisses down his body. "Let me hear you." He curses as your hand ghosts above his core, watching you with an expectant gaze in his eyes. You pull down the sweatpants he's wearing, and then his underwear, both just enough so his hard length is exposed. You wrap your fingers around him, and you kneel above him now, one of his thighs positioned between your legs, so you could get a good look at his face as you start to slowly jerk him off. 
"Look at me," you demand, and he does, the blush returning to his cheeks.
"Faster..." he mutters, barely audible, and you teasingly ask him to repeat himself. "Faster, please..." he begs through gritted teeth, and when you tighten your grip on his shaft just a little bit, he responds with a moan. "Can't take it..."
"Are you gonna let me hear more of those pretty moans?" you question, lips quivering in anticipation.
"Y-yes..." You don't know if your mind is tricking you or if his blush is growing just a bit darker as he answers, but either way you begin to move your hand faster, having him whining underneath you as he throws his head back. You watch with your lips slightly parted, and it's not like you've never seen him like this before, but there's just something about the way he gives himself up to pleasure when you have him in this kind of position that always gets you going. You move your hips in tune with the speed at which you get him off, grinding your clothed core down on his thigh, and he pushes his leg up just a bit to give you more friction.
"Shit..." you hiss, pleasure clouding your mind, and Donghyuck reaches down to wrap his fingers around your hand, guiding you into a faster pace. You collect the precum leaking his tip and use it as lube to glide down his length more smoothly, and as you can see on his face that he's about to lose himself to the sensation, you mutter a warning, "Don't cum yet."
"But-" he whines, and you take your hand away just before he can reach his high. "Y/N..." he desperately whines your name and you lean in to press a soothing kiss somewhere onto his chest, and then another one against his cheek.
"I wanna have you cumming inside me," you whisper, and when you sit back up you quickly rid yourself of all your clothes, in the end helping him out of his pants as well. You crawl on top of him, your hands placed on his shoulders for support, and you let out a curse as you roll your hips against him, his tip rubbing against your folds. And once again he whines, pressing his eyes tightly shut and digging his nails into your hips. 
"Just fuck me already..." he breathes, but you have other plans.
"Be good and I will, baby," you coo as you repeat your motion without letting him slip inside you. He begins to squirm underneath you, visibly fighting to suppress his orgasm, and you swear you could cum from the sight alone. "Fuck... you're so fucking hot like that, Hyuck..." you mutter through gritted teeth, his repeated whines sounding like music to your ears.
"C-can't... hold back..." And once again you stop the stimulation just as he's about to cum, and with a frustrated groan he throws his head back into the mattress, dragging his nails down your skin. You reach for his hands, and as you intertwine your fingers you pin them above his head, and you can't but coo over the desperate look he gives you, and the way his cheeks are reddening again.
"You gonna cum right when I take you in, aren't you?" you ask, smirking at him after pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So desperate for my pussy..." And he can't do anything but whine at your words, because you both know you're right, and him denying it would just make him look stupid. "Then cum for me, baby," you mutter against his lips as you seal them with yours, running your tongue along his mouth to deepen the kiss. You sink down on him, taking in his size with ease, and the second you start rolling your hips he releases inside you as he moans into your mouth. Heat rushes through your veins when you part and you sit up, letting go of his wrists and combing the fingers of one hand through his disheveled hair instead. 
"Didn't think you really would cum the instant you're inside me," you mock him, earning yourself another whine from him. "And I bet you're also gonna be hard again in no time if I keep this up," you mumble, rolling your hips on top of him slowly. "Such a sucker for when I'm in control, huh?"
"Yeah..." he breathes out, and you unexpectedly feel your heart swell at his answer. Usually he'd be fighting back by now, trying to battle you for dominance or at least being bratty, but today you really just have him at your mercy unconditionally.
"Is it because I finally said that I love you?" you conclude, as if he had heard your thought process.
"Huh?" You run your fingers through his hair again, and then you lean in for another deep kiss.
"Do you like it that much when I play with you like this, or are you being good because you're scared I'll leave if you're not perfect for me?" Donghyuck stares at you for a while as you sit back up, the blush on his cheeks fading, and when he finally reaches out to you to press your body against his for a tight embrace, he answers,
"No, I trust you. And I kinda like it when you sometimes use me." A storm of emotions washing over you, you bring some distance between you and him slowly, and after mustering his genuine expression for a while, you reach for his hands once again.
"Don't touch me," you order as you put them back into their place above his head. "And don't cum until I tell you to. If you wanna be my little toy you gotta be good, alright?"
"Alright." He gulps, taking you in as you're sitting on top of him, starting to ride him with one hand sliding down your body, fingertips reaching your core to give yourself some extra stimulation. Eyes dripping with honey, he keeps his hands in place, and the more you can feel him growing inside you, the more you can also see him struggling to keep his composure.
"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mutters eventually, and you hum a praise to signal him to keep going. "Feels so good... wanna be good for you..."
"That's right..." you mutter, your eyelids fluttering shut as you bounce on top of him, rubbing circles onto your clit. You position yourself so that everytime you sink down on him his tip would graze that perfect spot inside you, and along with listening to his words and the way his voice starts shaking from the pleasure has you seeing stars soon enough.
"U-use me, please... wanna feel you cum on my cock..." he sputters, and you moan at his pleas.
"Doing so well for me, baby... shit, nobody could ever make me feel as good as you..." He whines desperately as you keep your pace slow, in hopes of bringing him as close as possible to the edge as you're racing towards your own high. "Hyuck..." you mutter his name, your voice trembling. "Cum with me." Another moan falling from his lips and you feel yourself shaken by your orgasm, clenching around him as he spills inside you a second time. 
"Shit..." With a curse you collapse on top of him, finding him wrapping his arms around you in a comforting motion, and you add, "You were amazing." He nuzzles his face into the side of your head, lips brushing against your temple, and once you've caught your breath a bit you give him a proper kiss. "I'm sorry... for trying to push you away like th-" Donghyuck puts his index finger across your lips, shutting you up in the process, and with a soft smile he shakes his head.
"Stop apologizing," he says. "It's okay now. Let's focus on the future, and how we can build it together." His hand cupping your face and his thumb brushing against your cheek make your heart skip a beat, and you simply nod.
"You're right," you respond, and you lie back down on top of him, nestling into his chest. "If we just have each other, we can make it through anything."
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thebluester2020 · 2 months
Text
[TWST] "Free" Lodging At SavanaClaw
Summary: After being kicked out from Ramshackle Dorm, you swallowed your pride and decided to go to SavanaClaw to try and convince the local Housewarden to let you stay until you found a way to get Ramshackle back. But, as nothing was ever free in your former world, the same rules apply here! Warning(s): Leona being a dick but that's the normal, Dub-con(kinda-ish?), Manipulation, Leona refers to the reader as "lioness" instead of "herbivore" (This reader has an attitude y'all, buckle up), Gender neutral pronouns (Reader is heavily implied to be a girl though), Edging(?), No active sex in this one just Leona feeling the reader up basically, Consent check-ups. Side Note(s): This may be the most inaccurate fanfic I'll write to date since I'm just now getting back into the TWST fandom 💀. But I vaguely remember (I think?) the MC getting kicked out from their dorm and having to shack up with Leona for a bit so I'm running off "You want something? What're you willing to do for it?" type of energy. Also, I will add to the idea that Leona drinks his "respect women" juice, so be prepared for those consent check-ups.
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
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"...So, that's why I need to stay here..."
Never once in your life had you felt so small, so...insignificant as you stood in front of Leona's dorm room, after pouring your heart out about your situation and how you had no place to stay after making a shady deal with Azul. To be in a position of begging, pleading with to have a place to stay. You didn't know who to curse out first!
Crowley for not getting you back to your original world fast enough.
Azul for tricking you in the first place into making a shady deal.
Or maybe even yourself, for being so foolish in the first place as to think that there wouldn't be a backhanded price for losing a bet with Azul to begin with! And what's more? You still felt you weren't thinking straight, after all, instead of thinking that it was best to shack up with Ace and Deuce, your feet instead led you to Leona.
The arrogant prince who looked as if he were completely apathetic to your situation as if your very presence outside of his dorm room was an utter annoyance. And to hold yourself accountable? It probably was. No one wants to share their room after all, especially when the person in question had no clue when their new potential guest would be leaving.
But at the same time? It wasn't like you wanted to be begging either!
"Hm," Was the first noise that Leona made as his tail flicked side to side, scratching his chin. "What do I get out of lettin' you stay 'ere?" The beastman couldn't help the smirk that graced his already handsome features as an immediate furious expression took over your face.
"What the hell do you mean 'What do I get out of it'?!" You said in a mocking imitation of the prince's voice.
Leona then frowned before yawning. "Well now...that's no way to speak to someone you're asking to live with—" Before he could close the door, you quickly stopped it with your hand before you huffed. You took a brief moment to gather yourself, to suck in your pride and reaffirm in your head that there were no other options, no other people you could think willing enough to bend (or flat out ignore) the rules and let you stay in their dorm room for a little while.
Once done, you exhale through your nose before sighing. "What...do you want?"
The prince smirked, now you were playing his game.
Leona wasn't blind.
Despite the two of you not being on the very best of terms, constantly bickering whenever you both saw one another and having an unspoken rivalry of sorts. Be it in some of your classes together, who had the most biting words that day, or even you two simply getting in the way of each other! You two didn't like each other except...
Leona somewhat liked you. Enough to where he periodically had lustful thoughts about you from time to time that is. As he continued to think to himself, he thought about how great it would be to first have the only girl at this school. To make you his own personal toy, not that it would be an easy battle that is.
You'd ultimately call the shots, and he would simply have to keep your attention.
Something that he would easily achieve. "For me being so gracious to allow you to even think of staying in my dorm—" Your eyes widened a little when the prince leaned forward a little. And oh...how you hated how he smelled so good, expensive cologne mixed with a distinct wild smell that you couldn't pinpoint. But, you tried to keep your head afloat, the last thing you could afford was to allow your mind to be clouded.
You absolutely refused it.
"—how about you service me?" You visibly flinched at the idea.
"...You're not talking about an innocent back massage, are you?"
His silence was your answer.
And you hated to admit that the idea appealed to you, even if it was just slightly. Never once had you thought that the prince was ugly. Maybe in personality, sure but looks-wise? He was very attractive, as princely as the definition came, but to sleep with him? Just for a place to stay? She didn't know if she could convince herself to do that!
"What if I say no?" You mumbled.
He responded with a shrug. "Then I won't pressure you. I'm not so cruel as to let a woman roam around at night with no place to go." He said with a deep purr that made your very body reverberate. "But, something tells me that you won't say no."
You sighed, looking away for a moment before looking back up at him.
Although you didn't give him a verbal response, the prince saw your answer as clear as day in your eyes and thus, moved to the side to allow you into his room to which you immediately started to look around, only offering Leona a scoff once you finished your visual tour of where you'd be staying for some time until you came up with a plan to get Ramshackle back.
"Your room is messy." You said, eliciting a 'tsk' from the prince as he closed his door and stood back, giving you room to overlook his room.
"I take it this is a more than adequate place for you to sleep?" He questioned.
You nodded your head. "I can just sleep on the floor—"
"You'll sleep on the bed," He sighed, walking past you. "If you're sensitive about sleeping so close to a man then put a pillow between us. I'm not moving from my own bed."
You rolled your eyes with an annoyed grumble. "I'm not trying to kick you from your bed, nor am I sensitive about sleeping next to a man!"
Leona merely rolled his eyes as he strolled up to you before placing a hand on your shoulder, and he smirked at how you flinched as he slowly stalked around you until he stood behind you. The smell of your nervousness was clear, and even if his nose didn't function. His ears definitely picked up on it, from your squeaks each time he moved or the way you shuffled around.
Although he would never say it out loud...with how pretty you were, he assumed you to be more than familiar with the touch of a man.
Clearly, though, his assumptions were incorrect.
"So nervous lioness...never thought I'd see the day." He chuckled.
"S-Shut up," You hissed in response. "Just get this over with..."
Leona's brow rose. "I'm not into taking advantage of women. If you're not comfortable with me touching you then tell me." When you looked over your shoulder, his breath hitched at the sight of how fast the blood rushed to his cock. The arousing sight of you looking up at him through your eyelashes, your eyes darkened ever so slightly from growing lust. It was driving him insane.
"I need verbal responses," Leona's snapped you from your thoughts. "Can I touch you? I won't go any farther than that." He said, his hand still planted firmly on your shoulder to accentuate his point that he wouldn't make any sudden movements unless you said so.
You nodded your head. "S-Sure..."
At your consent, he was meticulous about where he touched.
First, he started with your arms, rubbing his hands up and down as he silently committed the feeling to memory. Smooth, almost...doughy in a way. And some parts of your skin were freckled as well. 'Cute.' He thought before he moved over to touch your backside. He ignored the whisper in his head that told him to teasingly slip a finger underneath a sleeve or perhaps underneath your skirt, instead, his tail flicked at the feeling of your curves.
And when he trailed his way back up to your shoulder, he poked at the back of your neck with his claw.
You squeaked at the contact. "So jumpy."
"Fuck you," He snorted in response. "Are curses all you have to say to me? If I'm observing you correctly—" You sucked in a breath when Leona's hands trailed over to your chest, touching at prodding at your mounds while he steadily got closer and closer to you until he was pressed up against your backside and...you felt his hard-on against your ass.
A shaky sigh left your lips. "So soft..." He whispered in your ear. "Bet they're even softer without these clothes."
"Stop being crude." You panted out.
The prince smirked. "Did you know us beastmans have enhanced senses?" He asked, changing the subject as he licked up the shell of your ear, tearing a shakey moan from you as you started to unconsciously buck up against the prince's hard-on, causing him to groan at the contact but nonetheless continue speaking and feeling you up. "I can smell your arousal, how needy you are for me despite trying to hide it."
"T-That's not—Ahh..."
Now this was something he would love to hear every single day.
Those breathless shy moans of yours, coupled with the sight of you unconsciously bucking into his hard-on and making it near irresistible to ask you if the two of you could go farther than this. If you'd allow him to taste you next, finger your cute pussy, or perhaps fuck you. But...he wasn't about to let you slip through his fingers just because he couldn't control his urges.
"L-Leona...fuck—"
"What is it?" He purred against your ear. "Want me to touch you somewhere else...?"
You sucked your bottom lip in, your panties were absolutely soaked as you continued to squirm against Leona's hold. Your control was slipping fast, you didn't know how long you'd be able to hold on before you'd say something you knew you would regret later on! And there were too many times when you wanted to ask him to stop, slow down, and let you catch your breath, anything! But...as Leona's hands began to untuck your shirt from your skirt and slide his hands up and underneath, the tickle from his claws dragged slowly upward toward your breasts making you buckle and flinch.
You broke.
Hard.
"P-Please..." You didn't know what you were begging for exactly but, the small word made the lion beastman's ears perk all the same before he snickered.
"A simple please doesn't get a prince to do what you want, be more specific."
"Y-You fucker—" You inhaled sharply when Leona gently pinched your nipples, silencing you effectively as a smirk crept onto his handsome features.
"What was that?" He asked.
You took another breath in and exhaled out shakily before you gulped. "D-Down there...please."
"What? Your pussy? Is it aching for my touch?" He asked with a devilish smirk as you nodded your head, even going so far as to try and press your ass into his crotch further. Cruelly, however, Leona forcefully stopped you with a quick yet light swat against the side of your thigh. "Then ask me like you're begging a royal. Do it or you'll have to settle. C'mon...you can do it."
You looked at the beastman over your shoulder once more, your eyes clouded over with lust whilst your lips were shiny and wet from you constantly licking your lips. "...P-Prince Leona," You started. "C-Can you touch me...there my pussy..."
Leona nearly grinned ear-to-ear from his victory before he sighed. "I would but—" Your eyes widened in confusion immediately when Leona slipped his hands from me, your form shaking as if you were left suddenly in the cold as the lion beastman walked to the other side of his room to grab his bag. "—I have class, Ruggie will chew my ear off if I miss this class for the fifth time this month."
You swore that you saw red at that moment. "Y-You fucker...y-you did that on purpose!" You screamed.
"What? To ask you to ask me something nicely?"
"You—"
"Calm down," He clicked his tongue. "You live with me now, remember? I'll touch your needy cunt when I get back." He said, flicking you in the forehead before he turned to walk out the door, leaving you to stand there in both shock and frustration.
You really needed to find a way to get Ramshackle back.
Fast.
151 notes · View notes
hijackalx · 10 months
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MALE BG3 COMPANIONS TURN ONS/KINKS +18
FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS
NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS
A/N: i limited myself to just 5 per companion otherwise this would get wayyyy too long lol but if u guys want pt. 2 let me know 💗
ASTARION
CORRUPTION
ok this is mostly because he has more than one instance in the game where he mentions virgins lol. i think he would totally get off on "corrupting" someone inexperienced and sweet, like i can see him loving the idea of teaching u or showing u new things. will poke fun at how innocent u are and the whole time he's ROCK fucking hard 😭😭
BRAT TAMING
this man loves to play games. he likes people who have nerve but mostly because it feels so good to put them in their place. the act of MAKING u obey is so hot to him and soooo fun (he’s also into how it humiliates u by making u submit)
AGE DIFFERENCE
NOW LISTEN !!! LISTEN he is OLD !!!! as FUCK !!! he's been alive a longggg time. i think it probably turns him on to be more experienced than u not only in bed but in general. ok i will come clean i'm thinking of the conversation he has with wyll about the word "agog". like secretly he probably loves that ur so young and dumb 💗 (even if ur not actually young, just young in comparison to him) he feels some kind of superiority when he bestows his old man wisdom upon u ⚡️🧙‍♂️ also it prolly adds some "forbidden" or "taboo" feeling to the sex that he likes 🤫
BONDAGE
the fact that u trust him enough to do something like this is so hot. he likes to watch u struggle against the restraints while he teases or overstimulates u. probably the type to use silk or fluffy handcuffs lol. afterwards he’ll kiss any bruises/marks left behind (the best part)
DACRYPHILIA
I ALWAYS SAY THIS IM SORRY but since he has that sadistic side i genuinely think he's into seeing u cry. the sounds/faces u make and seeing u reduced to such a vulnerable state. will try to overstimulate u to the point of tears so he can wipe them off ur face and make u clean them from his fingers hehe 💗
GALE
TEMPERATURE PLAY
OF COURSE this mf is using magic for this. he'll get pretty creative with it too— ooh wait bondage using ICE restraints??? yes ??? no ??? can he do that ??? anyway. he will tease a lot by switching between hot and cold, mostly because he loves watching how u react. likes if u use it on him too but not as much as he likes using it on u.
EXHIBITIONISM/VOYEURISM
i think he’s the type of dude to want to watch u touch yourself. and vice versa. will also want to jerk off while watching clone!gale fuck u. he’ll want to fuck in places where u guys might get caught too, mostly because he wants to show u off and make other people envious
SEX TOYS
^^ like i said before he’ll want to watch u use toys on urself, also might like it if u let him tell u how to use it. he’ll use some too, but usually only if u want to watch him use it on himself (or if u use them on each other obv). he doesn’t really use them much alone. the exhibition part is what’s most exciting to him
FACESITTING
probably one of his favorite positions honestly. he just really likes to eat u out and he’s soooo good at it. loves the feeling of ur weight on his body and how u grind against his face. it also gives him lots of access to ur thighs so he can squeeze and kiss them 💗💗
CLONING
i already mentioned how he’ll watch clone!gale fuck u. but he will also want to tag team/double team u with clone!gale 😭😭. can he do clones of other people? if he can he might also like making a clone of u too. that would be the craziest foursome ever holy shit LMAOO imagine getting fucked by URSELF (he would be so into watching that honestly that’s a gale top 3 fantasy moment)
WYLL
BREEDING
i think he wants to have so many babies. and to stuff u full of babies. filling u up with his cum is so hot to him and he will go multiple rounds just to really get it in there LMAO also really likes the way his cum looks when it’s leaking out of u 💗
PRAISE
he loves to give AND receive praise. he will tell u how ur doing so good for him and how beautiful u look. BUT he also wants u to tell him how good he’s making u feel and how handsome he is (he’ll lowkey get kind of insecure if ur too quiet, he really feeds off of how u respond) he also likes praise in the form of noises too if ur too shy to say anything lol
ROLEPLAY
i think he would he into roleplaying a little bit. particularly him being a knight and u being his prince/princess. will want u to dress the part and everything. he really gets off seeing u in the regal get up— i don’t think he would go too overboard with the knight thing though (like putting on an entire steel knight outfit 😭😭 that would take too long to get off. he’d combust) but he’ll prolly put on a little chainmail or something if u want.
CLOTHED SEX
yeah he’s going to want to fuck u with the princess/prince fit ON. but also i think he’d really be into dry humping tbh….. like if he’s saving himself until marriage then i don’t think he sees dry humping as real sex so it’s okay ooohh that’s so naughty wyll 😈😈 probably loves to watch u get off on his thigh through ur clothes
SENSORY DEPRIVATION
THIS…… might be far fetched…… but i feel like he’d be into this. like blindfolding (yes he’d let u blindfold him too), wearing gloves when u touch each other and etc….. wait the gloves is actually so hot though like leather gloves? imagine he blindfolds u and then touches u with the gloves on…. ooh baby
FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS
NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS
468 notes · View notes
candieduranium · 3 months
Text
my intro post
i guess it’s about time i made one of these
(why does this have so many notes???😭/genuine)
long ass intro oml
last updated august 21, 2024
•my name is micah but i also respond to furcata and rover
•i use any pronouns. i genuinely do not care what you use for me
•im a minor
•i am a christian. i do not force it onto other people. please respect my religion.
•i make mistakes on my blog (accidentally deleting things, unbalanced polls, etc.) from time to time so please excuse if i make some errors. trying my best.
•my tag for my original posts and reblogs that add to is “micah’s owlposting” even for stuff that isn’t owlkin-related. i have to retroactively tag my old posts with this tag so keep in mind that not all of them are tagged! i will update this post when i finish tagging.
•i am an american barn owl therian, vernid othermidst, machinehearted, and pigeonhearted.
• i am a quadrobist. i started in april of 2024.
•usually the things i post are about my alterhumanity but i also post golden texts my friends and i send each other along with some other stuff. sometimes in my posts there are mentions of sex and (mild?) sexual themes
•im also a furry. furry ≠ z00phil3
•my favorite music is by greta van fleet and umbrabyte. i also just enjoy vocaloid in general, too. in fact, the original purpose i had for my blog was just to keep up with umbrabyte and her content better. here’s umbrabyte’s spotify:
•my favorite aesthetics are cybercore, mizuiro/ tenshi kaiwai, vaporwave, and rococo
•my only definite dni is if your blog is focused on nsfw, has sexually explicit images, or unsafe for minors in general. we can interact if you are in a basic dni (zoophile, radqueers, etc) but i probably won’t interact with you as much as those who arent in the dni.
•haters will be blocked unless i find them especially funny.
•im up for chatting about whatever whenever so just shoot me a dm if you feel like it (sfw, obviously)
•my hobbies and special interests are drums, classical latin, fursuit making, cosplay, and illustrating
•i’m very interested in learning how to make vtuber models and customizing ball-jointed dolls
•my main fandoms are umbrabyte, tloz, pjsk, and tadc (i know some these fandoms are known for having CRAZY and problematic fans. im not one of them)
•i have a 4 year old black cat named dumpling (i post pics of him sometimes) and a 16 year old dog named stella. i hope to get a couple of oranda goldfish someday
•i dont have a set posting schedule. i post when i post. but i generally like to stay pretty active and try to post at least once per day.
•i follow anyone who interacts with my posts positively when im not in their dni and theyre not in mine and their blog isn’t completely default/blank this is now false. i have just learned that the maximum follow count is 5k and i am already above 4k. there are too many of you for me to follow you all😭
•some random and useless stuff about me: i have mild-moderate trypophobia and a deviated septum, i’m 5’7”, my favorite color is orange, i LOVE creme brulee, and my mbti is antp-t (a for ambivert)
𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟
mild eyestrain warning ⚠️
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how the fuck does this have so many notes??😭
vent-ish/vent-adjacent warning ⚠️
here’s a copypaste from another of my posts regarding my posting schedule and status:
hey folks, i may not be posting as much going forward because my father put my email on a lifelock account, which means that he may be alerted each time i log into my tumblr account. i use tumblr on the website on safari and i frequently log in and out because im anxious that my parents will check my search history, but they very rarely ever do. im testing if they get alerted right now by logging in to ao3 and c.ai, two websites that my parents likely wont be opposed to but would tell me and ask me about it if i got an alert. deleting my account is a last resort, but it is still on the table. this change is indefinite. i have backup plans in case my parents do get alerts from lifelock, but nothing is definite. i may continue on just fine, i might not. just giving y’all a heads up in case something does happen.
tl;dr my account may be discovered by my parents and i may be punished, maybe it wont. we’ll see
and does anyone know for sure if lifelock does send alerts about logging in tumblr accounts? please dont lie to me.
my mental health is hinging largely on my tumblr account and im praying sososo hard that i wont lose all of you wonderful, amazing people. this goes for the folks i have dmed and the ones i havent. but anyway. i love you all. thank you for the time youve given me, even if it wont be for much longer.
and heres another post copypaste:
hey folks i dont know if im gonna be posting for a hot minute because im at band practice rn but im gonna have the biggest fucking argument with my mom when i get home😍 i might get my phone taken away
so basically what happened is i told her im depressed and she blew me off and didnt believe me. she also did some other stuff. i may go into greater detail at a later date.
im sorry if this discomforts or tr_gg_rs anyone but i wanted to give an explanation and warning just in case i stop posting and interacting on tumblr
thank you all for being so wonderful, truly. i hope i can get my situation sorted out quickly and remain active.
i’ll probably update this post later on since im sure there’s something i forgot. check back with me every once in a while and i might have some new content on this post
thanks for reading 👍👍
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ryanyflags · 4 months
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A List of Gender Terms !
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So I disappeared for 2 months, but I finally completed this project! :D (Though I've been making some random posts talking about it, so it's not like I was really gone, or what I was working on wasn't obvious.)
It started off as me having trouble keeping track of a couple gender terms (and also not knowing they existed before, since I've never really seen people talk about them), then I thought I should make a list, and if I was going to do that I might as well post it to help other people too. Which I started out trying to make that list on Tumblr, but I found it too limiting so I moved to google docs, which I also found too limiting (I just couldn't achieve my vision, if you will), and now I know html and css.
As usual, I kinda overdid it, but I think I should be a little proud of myself. I had 0 knowledge of html and css, and 2 months later I've made my own website. (I could have made it much quicker, but I often had to take breaks, a bit overwhelmed by all that new stuff.)
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Anyways, it has a ton of terms on there.
I have sections for nonbinary, abinary, midbinary, atrinary, midtrinary, androgyne, agender, neutrois, maverique, ilyagender, aporagender, outherine, kenochoric, and xenogender.
For 7 categories (sex terms, adult, general term, child, gender quality, gender-quality-in-nature genders, and spectrum / -iagender spectrum).
And they all have sources on both Archive Today, Wayback Machine, and if still existing, the original post too. (At least to the best of my abilities, and there are a couple of exceptions that I couldn't figure out.)
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I did put effort into this, but it's possible I missed something. So if I made a mistake anywhere, or if anyone has any extra information to add on, or if you just have some comments, you can tell me. My ask box is open, but comments on this post would probably be fine too.
Also, I checked on a couple of different browsers, mobile too, and read up on web accessibility and checked and all that (I tried using a screen reader, I'm not a pro at it though, so it's possible I may have missed something obvious), so I hope the website itself is useable. But if there's any bugs there, just tell me (it'll be appreciated).
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I'm also thinking of making another compilation, but for flags (for all of the terms listed here), and maybe orientations too, but maybe later haha
I also don't know how to write a image id for the top picture, if anyone wants to write to one I'll add it.
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Below the cut is a short little video scrolling through the site.
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nyxindustries · 8 months
Text
Want It Need it | Rick Grimes
Fandom: The Walking Dead (TV show)
Pairing: Rick Grimes x Reader, X reader insert, Rick Grimes X Y/n, Rick Grimes x Fem!reader
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT SMUT, Sexual intercourse, Rough sex, Kinky sex, Name calling “degradation” (if you really squint), Oral Sex, Explicit language and Explicit Sexual Content, Soft Dom! Rick Grimes, Sub! Reader.
Word Count: 2000+
| Masterlist |
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When the apocalypse happened, you were just 20 years old. You were scared out of your mind then you meet a group, a pretty awesome group on the way.
Getting stable at the prison and everyone getting ready to go on hunt. You were the youngest adult only at 23 years old.
You looked up to the group leader whose Rick Grimes. He’s quite amaizng to you and he had his downfalls and ups but that made him human and a better leader.
Walking around the prison as you saw Glenn and Maggie.
"Hey love birds!" You say and Maggie chuckled as he hands you your supply bag.
"What? Wanna join?" Maggie jokes and you laugh.
"Oh! Don’t tempt me with a good time!"
You say and she laughs as Glenn rolls his eyes playfully at you
"No no no I like it the way it is!" Glenn adds on and you laugh more as you smile.
"Thanks for my bag Maggie" you say and she nods as she began walking away with Glenn.
Throwing your bag over your shoulder as you pull your tank top down to adjust your ripped black pants as you saw Rick in your view.
Hearing Daryl rev his bike up and you wave to him.
"Hey pretty little lady!" Daryl yells and you laugh.
"Oh Good morning pretty boy" you say and Daryl smiled as he walks up to you, feelings eyes on you, looking around and saw Rick staring at you then looking away.
"You know keep calling me that people are gonna think some things…" Daryl says as he takes the cigarette from his lips as he grabs a wrench and sits on the concrete floor.
Sitting on the bike as Daryl looks up at you with a smirk.
"Hey be careful"He says and you nod
"I will be or what? Mad I can’t ride you like this" you say jokingly not noticing that Rick was right behind you.
"Oh whoa. I’m- Did I interrupt something?" Rick voice says, scaring the hell out of you, which made Daryl laugh as you turn to Rick, instantly getting off the bike.
"Oh no! You didn’t! I was just joking!" You say and Rick nods as he smirks at you.
"Council meeting happening in cell block B in 10. Be there." Rick says and you nod as you look at Daryl as he puts his tools down.
"Somethin’ happen." Daryl says as you watch Rick walk away, the council got created with original members like yourself, Daryl, Rick, Michonne, Herschel, Maggie and Glenn and Carol. You were all the trusted ones to Rick especially after his wife died. Rick leaned on you the most even though you couldn’t or knew how it felt to lose the love of your life. Right after that the Woodbury attack and taking in refugees along with people that survived. It became a community and quite large one.
Walking with Daryl inside the cell block as you saw Tyreese and few other people you learned to trust and love like family along. Hugging Tyreese and Sasha as they smile at you, then frendily waving to Bob and everyone else you passed.
You are quite known probably because of your smile and go lucky attitude. You felt like even tho the world ending and everyone losing something and hurting like you are, you have to be something to one of these peopl. So you smiled and let people trust you to them feel better and to laugh, your great leader when need to be. You took care of the children in the camp as well either giving up your rations for them or going out their way of playing with them.
You couldn’t help shake those lingering eyes especially when you talked to people especially like Tyreese or Daryl, even with Glenn and Maggie, those eyes that would burn holes into the back of head would watch and then stop once you stop talking to them. You never figured it who or what it was. It’s been happening lately and made on guard too.
Going to the cell block as it’s completely empty besides the council members.
"Finally the two of you arrived" Maggie says and you stick tongue out at her childish making Daryl laugh as you sit down.
"Okay, We have problem lately we’ve sending too many groups out and a lot of people aren’t coming back…We’ve tried using our strongest member abut a lot of you guys can handle so much. We barley have crops, there not growing." Rick says and everyone quiet.
"How about we do rotation of 5 once a week and if need to be Twice a week. It could be me , Daryl, Maggie and Glenn and Sasha for an example and we go out for thre week. We all trust each other and we all work together and we’ll know we will make it back alive….Next week a different group and so on…So we don’t use up all our good people to survive." You say and everyone looks at you.
"For the crops, I could help with that Rick, I grew up on a farm and my daddy loved growing his own food, I know few tricks." You say and Rick nods.
"I’ll take you up on the help and that’s good idea but we should plan that out more and see who works well with each other if we’re gonna do rotations like that for supply runs." Rick says and you agree.
"Oh what about the water source? It hasn’t been the greatest. The water been murky and brown and we’re all getting really thirsty lately." Carol adds on and Daryl sighs.
"I’ll got cheek out the creek nearly by and see if anything happened there and the rain water sprout too. " Daryl says and you nod.
"I can help with that too. Before the end of the world I was a Engineer major in college…I could fix something up for the rain water and add a homemade purifier if I get the right supplies. I did do the water lines we have with what we been showering and see the system their working on." You say and Glenn smiles
"I can totally help you that, Miss.Smarty Pants. I help build that system so most definitely can help."Glenn says and you nod in agreement.
"Great. We head out to the creek tomorrow then." Daryl adds on as he places his hand on your knee and you instantly felt eyes burning into you. It made you look and seeing Rick staring directly at you, making you nervous to swallow right now, it brought shivers to you.
This is what you’ve been feeling since you got here and meet Rick and this group. You thought it was Daryl at first but no.
"Yeah sounds good." You mutter out to Daryl
"Any other matter we need to deal with?" Maggie asks and Rick shakes his head and walks away without another word or a missed beat in his steps.
"Great. I’ll check the water today and see what it looks like and let you guys knows." Carol says and you nod as you began walking away with Glenn Maggie and Daryl.
"Does Rick seem to be acting werid today?" You ask quietly to them and they simply shake their head "no".
-2 months later-
You fixed the water supply but it’s still a work in progress and the crops are growing pretty good especially now that’s it’s into the warmer months. After the few tricks you showed Rick it’s been golden especially with the warmer seasons head now.
It’s late night and everyone turning in for the night at the moment.
Seeing Rick walk up to you, making you smile Rick and yourself got considerably close to each other within the past couple months especially helping him and Carl with the crops.
"Hey Rick." You say and he smiled at you.
"It’s getting late. Why are you still out here?" He asks and you nod as you look off as he stand next to you.
"I’m taking Sasha shift as gaurd tonight…she wants to spend some time with Tyreese and talk to him about what happened with the supply run." You spoke quietly making Rick nods.
" yeah that’s good. That’s good." Rick says and you nod.
"I want to talk to you about something…private." He says and you nod.
"Okay, now?" you ask and Rick nods, you can tell he’s nervous about something.
"Yeah what is it?" You ask Ri k shakes his head a she pulls you along heading towards the guard tower that’s not destroyed and where people keep watch.
"Whoa Rick clam down" you say as still pulls you along as you and him get into the guard tower. Looking at the empty gaurd tower as look at Rick now.
"Why did you drag me all the way I’ve there?" You and and Rick just stared at you.
"Are you with Tyreese ?" he asks and you stare at him in shock.
"With Ty? What do you mean by that?" You ask confused and very concerned for Rick at the way he’s talking and walking back and fourth.
"Are you fucking Tyreese?" He asks and you stare at him with a blank face.
"No! No I’m not! In what world did you get that from?" You ask
"Just wondering you and him pretty close to each other like you do everyone other guy in the camp." Rick says and you gasp
"Are you calling me a sl-" You ask him.
"No no no no no" Rick shakes his head, you can tell thoughts are just flooding his head and he’s doesn’t know how to deal. Rick wiping his face as he licked his lips glancing at you.
"Rick what’s wrong with you? Talk to me" You ask as you grab onto him making Rick look at you. Rick grabbing your face roughly as he kisses you softly.
Being frozen in spot as you felt his lips, your heart beating in your chest.
Slowly kissing him back as you grab his face as he kissed you more passionately and his hands traveled down to your ass squeezing tightly.
"Is this okay?" He asks pulling away slightly from your lips and all you could do is grab his face.
"It’s perfect." You say and kiss him more making him push you against the watch tower wall.
Rick taking your shirt off and kissing your breasts softly as he snaps your bra off with one hand.
Rick staring at your breasts as all he could do is smile making you blush in return. "You’re so fucking beautiful." He whispers to you.
His mouth meets them quickly marking them with his teeth and hard sucks on them.
Rick hands going down to your belts loops as he toys with them as he kisses you softly. His hand slipping underneath your pants reaching your pussy as his mouth quickly switched to one breast and the other.
Rick slowly pushing his two fingers in you making moan softly. Rick smirk even more as he pulls your panties down and lifts one of your legs onto his shoulders, placing you tighter between him and the wall of the watch tower.
"Fuck!" You moan out as Rick began thrusting his fingers quickly and his mouth meet with your clit quickly too.
His mouth to your pussy, licking your wetness in long thick strips. Finding his hair once more and pulling softly. He kissed around the clit, his licks sending you pleasure. Rick pulling you closer as he flicks and licks you in the areas most pleasurable areas, you didn’t know existed on you.
"Fuck fuck fuck, RICK!…please…please" You moan out loudly as your back arch more away from the wall as you grip Rick hair tighter as he began moving his finger again as he suck on your clit.
You weren’t sure how much you can take of this. You never felt anything this and knowing it’s the man you been in love with for months, making you feel this, sent you over the edge.
"Cum for me, sweetheart." Rick growls as he pulls away slightly from you and all you can do is just babble and moan due to the pleasure.
Squeezing your eyes shut as you breathing hitched and all you can do is yell "I’m cumming." Making Rick start thrusting his fingers even more in you. Rick lifting away from in between your legs as he lick his lips with a satisfied smirk. Staring at him with heavy breathing as he smiles at you.
"On the floor now." He says and you simply nod.
Rick smirking as he watched get the ground and that’s when you realized their bunch of blankets and you smirk softly, looking towards Rick.
The fucker planned this.
Getting in your knees in front of him as you began undoing Rick buckle as you lick your lips.
"Look at you…no more Ms.innocent anymore." Rick chuckles
"I never said I was innocent" you giggle out with a smirk on your face, that just make Rick stop you and push you to the blankets.
Rick getting onto of you with a wide smirk now as you wrap your legs around his waist. Rick kissing you softly as michevous shined in your eye.
Rick giving the same look back as he positions himself perfectly and slowly pushes in you.
"Fuck….Shit, Rick!" You groan out Rick thrusting his cocks in you slowly and he quickly picked up pace.
Moaning as Rick hand went to your throat and began choking you slowly making you moan out more the best you can as you felt Rick other free hand smack your breasts lightly.
Rick pulling out quickly as he flips you so easily onto your stomach, pulls your arms to your back, holding them in place as he slips his cock back into you and starts slamming into you now.
Rick slamming into you, as you began moving your hips with him, moving together with him as she slams in you.
"Fuck baby! You feel so good." Rick groans as he lands a solid slap on your ass making you jump in pain and pleasure but god you loved it. Rick landing few more hard slaps on your ass making your ass red and sore now.
"Please more." You moan out as Rick slapped your ass more before he grabs your hips and pulls onto his cock harder and began slamming into you as the noises of meeting your skin were loud and filled the tower.
Clenching around Rick as he knew your so close. You felt it bubbling up in your lower stomach.
"Fuck fuck!" You scream out as Rick pulling out again as you whimper at the lost of his cock.
Until Rick flips you again on your back.
"I want to see your face while you take all my cum." Rick utters out as his hand went back to your throat squeezing your throat just the way you like it, cutting abit of airflow, making smile slightly in response.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" You scream out now, clenching tightly around Rick cock now.
"Come on baby. You can do it. Cum for me baby." He says as he slams harder and faster.
Nodding with each thrust as your arms wrap around Rick and pull him close to your chest as your legs wrap around him.
Rick groaning as he kisses your neck gently. Your legs began getting more shakey as you began cumming all over Rick dick but that didn’t stop him.
"Did I tell ya to cum?" He says in your ear sending almost chills down your spine but it went straight to pussy as you shake your head submissively.
"Say it." Rick growls at you.
"No you didn’t." You say and Rick nods.
"Mhm you’re right about that." He says as he began slamming into making your grip the blankets tighter, but he soon stops as he flips you again to your stomach.
Lifting your ass as he shoved his dick back into you as he grabs our hair and pulls your head back to his shoulder as his hand reached around for your neck as he squeezes watching your face contort in more pleasure.
Becoming a Moaning mess and sensitive as you can tell Rick close as he slams into you, his cock twitching in you as he now hits your g spot, sending you over again. Cumming against his cock again as you felt warm cum in you, making you smile as Rick slowly pulls out.
"Fuck that amazing." He says and you nod as Rick pulls out and lays next you, pulling you close.
"I needed that for months." You say and Rick nods in agreement.
"Me too baby."
"And I would love to do it again." He says and you nod in agreement as you felt his cum drip out of you.
"Oh me too. I could go for another round" he says and you nod.
"Don’t tempt me baby." He says and you laugh as you kiss him slowly getting onto of him.
"Seriously the whole prison gonna hear us now." He says making you laugh as you kiss his neck softly.
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beforetimes · 17 days
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what's irritating about jean's character in the original trilogy is that when she's first introduced through her interaction with senator kelly in x-man (2000), she's very clearly depicted as an intelligent and capable woman. it's very easy to assume that she's the de facto face of the school because she went as a spokesperson for mutants despite charles also being in the crowd.
so to take this character we become acclimated to independent of her relationship with other characters and to suddenly switch-up to have her become a plaything for scott and logan to fight over is very jarring. and i'm not trying to say that i thought she could only be discussed in the context of her relationship with logan and scott but outside of that initial scene where she's speaking up for her fellow mutants, there's very little care given to her as a character.
in x-men (2000), 90% of her dialogue feels like it's solely dedicated to this flirting game going on between her and logan. she barely feels like a character and exists solely to be a roadblock or the 'sexy lamp' archetype in the movie. we just barely see her at all. i feel one scene where her presence would've made sense and built up more of her character would be where storm goes to speak to senator kelly so he's not alone when he dies. since we're introduced to kelly through an argument with jean, wouldn't it be a full circle moment to go back to him conversing with her before accepting his death and they both make peace with each other? i just feel they really wasted her character in this first film.
i feel like in x2 (2003) they became somewhat aware of the criticism (i'm assuming as much at least) because she exists as a person outside of the context of her relationship with logan and scott. but even then it's very little and the most we learn about her is she's conflicted/having trouble concerning her powers and wants scott.
now, at the end she has her moment of nobel sacrifice where she knows the only way she can save everyone is by dying herself. and it feels like an incredibly shoehorned in last-minute decision to get her out of the way as well as having something to point at to say 'see, she has more depth here! would a shallow character do this?' which like, if executed right could have given her more depth. but at this moment in time the only reason we're sad about jean dying is because logan and scott are sad. not because we lost a particularly fleshed out character.
even at the end of x2 where charles gives this speech and declares she made a choice to save everyone at her own expense in the attempt to add some posthumous value to her character in the series, 'her choice' is immediately co-opted by logan to centre around the two male love interests again. i don't understand this insistence that jean grey can not exist as a character without having her tied back to logan and scott in every aspect again and again and again.
x-men the last stand (2006) is the worst of the trio for her character. boiling her down to this character who kills scott, tries to manipulate logan with sex, has a dark alter ego, and kills the man who raised her feels like a blatant attempt to just entirely ruin her character to make people who might have even liked her a bit just hate her. which sounds cartoonishly evil but is genuinely the impression i got sometimes. she swung from this character who existed only as a love-interest to this seductress-type character where she tries to satiate lust or something like that through logan after killing her long time lover. and she needs to be 'put out of her misery', cycling between this evil sexual version of herself and this innocent sad person that's appealing to logan to fix everything for her.
x2 ended with her dying for everyone. the last stand has her asking logan why he would die for everyone, directly contradicting her final statement in the last movie. it's like jean doesn't even mean anything to the writers anymore. she's a love interest. she's a sacrificial lamb. she's an evil seductress with no remorse. she's only evil because of an alter ego and otherwise she's still pure and innocent. like what the fuck is going on.
she dies begging to be saved. she gets put down like a dog after logan says he loves her. and that's all we get. just ridiculous. the original trilogy treats her character like absolute garbage.
at least in the days of future past-verse she's allowed to be a character. she's snarky and has a developed camaraderie with someone other than her love interest. her powers are displayed more before immediately spiralling into her being destructive and we get an emotional connection with her built up. she feels like an actual character. dark phoenix was still awful but we at least get a more complex version of this arc which is something she takes control of.
by the time we get to dark phoenix and jean sacrifices herself again it feels much more earned. she has quite literally no other choice but to stop herself and she isn't left to herself to spiral out of control. she doesn't need someone to come in and kill her to put her out of her misery because she is a character who is repressed and angry with good reason and has people who love her more than just romantically. she has a connection with these people, a reason to save them and to give herself up rather than having to ask someone to do it for her.
like, whatever man. it's five in the morning and i was thinking about this and just got so frustrated. the original trilogy was so deeply committed to making her the shallowest character they could manage. maybe in a misguided attempt for her to act as an audience stand in with logan and/or scott? i don't know. i wish we got to know the intelligent woman we got introduced to in the beginning of the first x-men movie instead of whatever plot device she became.
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spctrsgf · 1 year
Text
to his office
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prompt #351 from @/lyralit: 
“I could kiss you right now.”
“You’re very welcome to do it.”
word count: 3.8k
warnings: spidey!reader (tried to make it gn, lmk if i messed anything up!), language, my shitty spanish, innuendos but no actual sex
a/n: i saw atsv and miguel was SO SCRUMPTIOUS i had to write this
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“HOBIE!” You yell at the aforementioned Brit, narrowly missing a chunk of some building that is being thrown at you. “I bloody know!” He yells back, swinging from the building next to you.
You nudge your head to the left as a signal to him, releasing a quick whip of web to maneuver behind a rough, brick building to land on the side of it. Hobie wasn’t too far behind, and Gwen was soon to your left as well. The three of you heave in heavy breaths, synchronous in your silence. The inevitable stomp of the angry anomaly of the week roams in search of the very people next to you as well as yourself. 
“She just does not give up, does she?” Hobie quips, filling the silence.
“Well,” Gwen adds. “We did make her angry.”
“We? You were the one who threw a brick at her, mate.”
“And who’s idea was it to do that?”
“It was a bloody joke!”
“It didn’t sound like it–”
“Okay!” You exclaim, cutting their childish argument in half. “Enough. Back to defeating the Wannabe Crab woman, okay?”
“Right,” Hobie answers, quick to drop his anger like usual. “What’s the plan, boss?”
“We gotta trap him somewhere, but this fucking city is endless. It’ll take forever.”
“I think we gotta get her hands tied,” Pavitr says from above, nearly desticking Gwen from the brick wall in surprise. “That’s where the power is, right?”
“Jeez, Pav,” You yelp, coming down from your initial shock. “We didn’t see ya there.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for scaring you, but seriously. I think we gotta tie her hands!”
“He’s right, that would solve all the cement throwing we got going on.” Hobie agrees, shifting to lean on the windowsill next to him.
You tilt your head. “Do ya think webs’ll be strong enough for that one?”
“Ours? Nah.” 
“True, but Miguel’s would do us a solid right now with all this.” Pav interjects.
“He’s right. We need those ever so strong webs your boyfriend has to do the job.” Gwen nudges you with her shoulder.
Your cheeks flame, and you’re eternally grateful for the silky mask you have on. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Gwen! We’re not– he doesn’t– oh my god,” You pinch the bridge of your nose as best you can through the mask. “Back on topic!”
“Seriously,” Hobie nods. “You should ask the lad to help us out.”
“Why don’t you do it?”
All you get is a shrug from him.
“Or you, Gwen? Or Pav?”
They all give you a look, a look that tells you exactly what they’re thinking.
“No. Oh my god, guys! Seriously? He doesn’t like hearing from me, anyways.”
That’s true, you firmly believe it, and you have ever since you first got to Nueva York. Being the person you are, you originally doted around the idea of talking to him, of engaging in a conversation. But, to be frank, he scared you shitless. He towered over your stature, a whopping 6’9” to your pacifying build. But, somehow you found yourself standing next to a nonchalant Hobie, watching his floating platform float impossibly slow towards the two of you after a mission. 
He’d been… you could tell right away that Miguel wasn’t the type of person to sugar coat nor was he very good at hiding the emotions that flew across his face, because oh my you felt it. You felt the trail of his scarlet gaze as he took in his first impression, you felt the razor sharp cut of disgust, felt the way his tongue ran along his accentuated canines as you rambled through your report. 
He’d dismissed you as quickly as humanly possible, opting to talk to the laid back Brit, the one who didn’t have to clear his voice every few sentences. Maybe it was a force of habit, you’d tried to reason as your head bowed to scurry out of the room. He has been working with Hobie longer, there has to be an ease between them. 
But, as time passed, Miguel remained the same. He tossed you a cold shoulder, and seemed to avoid your presence unless needed. You tried to shrug it off, to pretend like it didn’t hurt you as much as it did, but it was hard to pretend when the sting of rejection slapped as soon as he was brought up. Which actually happened a lot. 
You weren’t sure where Gwen had gotten boyfriend from that. Sure, you thought he was attractive. It was hard not to with his broad shoulders, a stark contrast to his (slutty) waist. There was something about his fangs that intrigued you, it was something you’d never seen before. And it wasn’t just the appearance that did it for you: it was that under all the anger and the rough exterior and the mask was a man, vulnerable and caring and wanting to stop what happened to him from happening to someone else.
He might be blunt and mean and pushy and all those things, but he came from a truly caring place, from a want to help. You could see that shine through in the way Gwen and Hobie and even Lyla talked about him, and you could see that in the mission notes he writes and in the slim amount of time that you were graced with his presence. 
“That’s why.” Gwen’s voice shakes you clear of the memories. 
“Wha?” You blink incredulously at her, like that would somehow shock you into understanding her sentence. 
She shoves your wrist, which hovers in front of you with the button to call Miguel in a booming orange. “Call him.”
You glare at her, but all that earns you is a tilt of the head and a not-so-encouraging punch from Pav. “Fine! Fine.”
You take a deep breath before hitting the call button. It sends off some sort of interdimensional wave towards Nueva York, and you buzz with a different type of frequency, suddenly nervous. The Miguel effect. Your brain blurts. Always nervous. You sigh and remind yourself that there are three other spiderpeople next to you as the call goes through, and Miguel’s face pops up unceremoniously in front of you. 
“What’s wrong?” Are the first words out of his mouth. “Uh, well, you see–” You start, only to be rudely cut off by his attitude. “Get to the point. I don’t have all day.”
The blunt words don’t roll off your back like normal, maybe it was because you could hear the anomaly pound, inching closer. “We need help. We need your webs, they’re stronger and can hold this guy’s claws together. He’s been tearing up the city.”
“You’re supposed to be containing the threat, not me.”
“Miguel, if you don’t get your fucking ass over here right now, all four of us are gonna be dead.”
“Doubt it.” He sounds distracted, like he was observing something else in front of him.
“Seriously? You can’t take two seconDS..!” You cut yourself off to launch off the building as the anomaly slams her fist into the spot you were rested at just a few seconds before. 
You go to follow your partners in chasing the monster away from the buildings, to yell at the stubborn man currently still on call from the watch encircling your wrist, but your spidey senses perk up and then you’re swinging back towards the anomaly. Your eyes train on a woman, not much older than thirty, running for her life from the gnarly creature above her.
You don’t think. Normally, you’re all about thinking and finding the best course of action to try and save everyone, but you don’t now. Not when you’re so short on time, not when that woman could die. You dive, holding your arms out as you beeline to the poor woman. Her face turns from fear to relief when she sees you, reaching out to grab your hand as you scoop your arm around her waist and carry her to the nearest roof.
You’re off before she can say a word, and the glance back you lend her tells you that she knows exactly why you couldn't linger and conveys the thank you she couldn’t say to your face. It fuels you, and you move quickly, pulling the anomaly farther and farther from the people. “Are you a quiet one, huh?” The anomaly’s voice is low and gravelly. “I’m always up for a little banter.” You shoot back, taking a quick left to navigate to where you see your partners waiting, hidden and ready to attack. 
“Alrighty then, let’s banter!”
“Let’s.”
“Are you expecting me to now spew out my whole plan and sob story, cus it ain’t happening.”
You shrugged. “Nah. Most of you don’t anyway.”
“We don’t?”
“No,” You shake your head, coming to a stop. “We usually have you caught by that time.”
Right on cue, Pav, Gwen, and Hobie shoot webs out, attempting to contain the anomaly. You realize, as you're adding your own webs to the mix, that Miguel must’ve hung up the phone during your little fright. “What happened with the boss? We getting that bloody help we need?” Hobie calls out, tightening his grip. “Dunno!” You call back. “Maybe he hung up.”
“Call him back, eh?”
“I- I can’t! This is harder than it looks.”
“We know!” Gwen screeches, voice strained.
“What do we do, guys?” 
“Try and hold on.” Pav’s voice is uncharacteristically dim, lacking its normal cheer.
His tone sinks into your stomach. “What if we don’t–” 
“You will,” Miguel’s voice crackles from your wrist. “I’m here. Where are you?”
“Uh–” You risk a look around as the anomaly struggles with a scream. “Open field. I can see an ocean from here, and there’s mountains to my right. Actually, I think it’s a river– we’re at a bend in it.”
“Got it. I know where you are, I’ll be there in a minute tops. Stay on the phone with me, okay?” 
“Will do.”
“He won’t be here in time.” You look up at the anomaly, her deep green eyes locked unsettlingly with yours. She yanks hard this time, and you see Gwen nearly topple and Hobie’s footing slip slightly, giving her arms more wiggle room. “Yes he will.” Your jaw sets as you shoot another web to wrap around her wrist, yanking her down onto her knees.
“You’ll lose. Wouldn’t that be crazy? Spiderman. Losing.”
“Crazy? Yeah, cus it won’t happen.” Gwen grunts from above, struggling to keep a clean facade.
“I’m almost there, cariño, hold on.”
“I am, we’re fine–”
And then you’re not. Because the anomaly bursts up in a spur of movement, effectively breaking the confinement you four had put on her. She runs forward, taking a straight track for you. You leap up, swinging away as quickly as you can. You pick through the strain on your forearms, through the cloud of fear in your head. You try to stay in the same general area you told him you’d be in, but it’s hard with the anomaly on your heels. 
“Miguel! Help, she’s chasing me, I can only keep her away from me for so long–”
“I know, I know, I’m coming. Hold on.”
But you’re not responding anymore. The anomaly swings a mighty claw straight into your abdomen, effectively sending you into the ground. Pav lets out a scream, sliding to catch you before you can slam into the grass, and Miguel knows something is wrong. You can hear his yells and Pav’s telling you to respond, but the pain in your side is excruciating and your brain feels like mush and your mouth is dry like sandpaper and your vision is tunneling into black and you try to speak but–
It’s very dark.
That’s the first thing you notice when you come to. It’s nice. But there’s an off putting feeling about it, like something’s lurking in the dark, and then you’re itching to turn on the lights so you can see something. “You have something covering your eyes, you do realize that.” Miguel’s smooth tone slides in from the left, decorating across the bland abyss.
Ah. So that was the problem.
Your arms feel foreign as you reach up to pull the fabric off your eyes, exposing you to the room you were in, only slightly brighter than before. “Lyla said the mask was supposed to help you heal better,” Miguel starts, and you can’t quite bring yourself to look at the man next to you quite yet. “I listened, she’s better at this than I am.”
“Am I not in the infirmary?” You question, before frowning at the way your voice sounded. You sit up, clearing it a few times.
“You were, but I moved you.” 
“Why?”
“I didn’t want you in there.” He answered bluntly, yet it lacked any substance at all.
“Why?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
You chuckled dryly. “Miguel, you moved me from the fucking infirmary to your office. I think you owe me a damn explanation.”
“No.” He turns away, slinging a web out to launch him onto his floating platform.
“Miguel–” 
“No.” The orange screens encircle him, effectively slamming his hard tone into the flow of conversation that wasn’t really flowing anymore.
You frown, half sat up in the bed that he’d placed you on. You’re frustrated, you don’t understand what’s been going on between you and him. He hated you. You’d previously established that, his vibrant reaction to your question confirmed it. But he saved you. And he moved you into his fucking office. 
Your head swims with this new information, and you flop back down unceremoniously onto the bed. Your head tilts automatically to him again, the fiery red in the bleak, monotone room. His back is to you, and he’s furiously tapping at something on one of his many screens. The boldness of his stature, the way he’s standing is so unwelcoming that you’re now sure he never really wanted you there at all.
You sit up and hop out of the bed as quietly as you can, even though you know he can probably hear you in the silence that enveloped you both. Yet he doesn’t react, he doesn’t turn and yell like you thought he might. He stayed stoically and almost stubbornly facing his screens, so you turn and slip towards the door.
Fucking say something, Miguel.
He doesn’t. You don’t know what you expected anyways. 
So you continue your walk, your path out of noose that the room brought. Yet, steps to the hallway seem harder and harder to make, like the hallway is getting longer or maybe you’re moving a lot slower than you normally do. You move to shoot a web, hoping to gain traction and move somewhat faster, but you can’t quite get your aim right– 
And then your vision is fluctuating and you start to feel unbalanced. You’re not moving. You’re moving your feet, but you’re not going anywhere. Your brain is fuzzy and the ground is getting closer than it normally is- you don’t remember being this short? “Ay, cariño!” Is exclaimed from behind you, and then something’s grabbing onto your back and pulling you back upright.
Miguel has his arm wrapped around your waist as you wobble, guiding you back to the bed and then lifting you up to sit on it. Your hands come up to rub your eyes, trying to get them to refocus. They blur and then unblur, finally resting to take in your wobbly hands, which are held out shakily in front of you. In response, you twist your hands together just enough to feel the pain of it, reminding you that you were in fact awake and aware. 
“Are you okay?” It’s then that you realize that Miguel is still in front of you. He’s got you caged in, blanketing you in his grand shadow. Your neck cranes up to reach his eyes, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t let your eyes linger during their ascent. When you meet the scarlet of his irises, you’re taken aback by the level of concern in them. Like he was actually worried about you. 
“I’m okay,” You respond, tilting your head with a smile. “Don’t worry about it.” He scoffed, but didn’t move away. “I’m not worrying.”
“If there’s one thing you’re bad at, Miguel, it’s lying.”
“I am a great liar.”
“Oh?” 
“Dios mio, cariño, yes.”
“What does that mean, anyway?,” You question, rocking backward to tuck your feet underneath your legs. “I tried to get Lyla to tell me, but she will not let the secret loose.”
He freezes. “Nothing, sorry, slip of the tongue.”
“You do realize I can just search it up, right? Would you rather me find out from the reach of the internet?”
“Not really, what if you just don’t–”
“Miguel.” You rise onto your knees, leveling your gaze with his own and resting a hand on his shoulder. “What is it? It can’t be that bad, it’s not like you’re saying you’re in love with me or something.”
“Well–”
“Right, cus that would be like…” Your words tumble over him, your brain too keen on keeping your feelings, your delusions to yourself. “Te amo? Te quiero? I’m not sure…”
“Either one.”
“Yeah, so it’s not one of those, so what is it?”
He takes a deep breath, looking slightly troubled. His face twists his face up like he’d just bit into a lemon, and then you’re panicking again.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that–”
“It’s a term of endearment,” His voice stops your apologies in their tracks. “It literally means affection, but when you use it as a nickname it’s more like sweetheart or darling. Dear is another way to say it, but you get the point.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, sorry about that–”
“Don’t be,” Your head tilts with his, following the way he turns his gaze away from you in embarrassment. “I like it.”
He meets your eyes again, curiosity and hope strung in his vibrant eyes. “You do?”
“Yeah. The way you say it is so satisfying, if that makes sense.”
“You like when I speak Spanish, huh?”
You nod, and suddenly you’re the one hiding your face from his smirk. 
“Querido, mírame.”
“Miguel–”
“Ahora. I won’t ask again.”
You sigh, glaring at him. “I don’t understand you.”
“That’s okay, you’ll learn,” He leans down and then innnn, so that the two of you are practically nose to nose. “I know you can do it.”
“Do you?” Your brain is screaming at you, making you even more painfully aware of his proximity to your face, yet you somehow manage to clearly deliver the line. 
“Mhm.”
“Well, it’s only cus I’ll have the best teacher. You.” You hit his nose with your finger, catching him off guard.
“I am happy to take that title.” 
“Good.”
He hasn’t moved. Even as the room fades into silence, he hasn’t moved. He’s still so close, like you could lean in, barely four inches, and you’d be kissing him. You can smell him, a tinge of metallic blood yet so earthy and centering. It’s intoxicating: your brain is swimming and you're struggling to keep your head above the water. 
Cariño. Sweetheart. A term of endearment. You still haven’t quite wrapped your head around that, not that you’ve been given much time to mull over it. Was that him telling you that he liked you, more than a friend? Was that a normal thing, using that term? You didn’t know, but you had a feeling that would be the best confession from him you were getting, if he meant it that way at all. You were gonna have to make the leap yourself.
“Everything okay?” His hand lands on your shoulder, a gentle reminder that you’d been staring into nothingness for what must’ve been a painfully long time for him. “Yeah,” You stumble to regain your words. “Sorry, I-” 
“Spaced out.”
“Yeah.”
He nods, smiling just enough so you could see his fangs peek out. You were caught.
“Migu–”
“I could kiss you right now, you know that?”
“Huh?” stumbles stupidly out of your now slack jaw.
“I could kiss you. You’ve been staring at my lips for the past few minutes, mi amor, whether you realize it or not.”
“I have? Oh my god.”
He chases your drifting gaze, just like you did with his. “It was cute.”
“Cute is a word I never thought I’d hear come out of your mouth.”
“Cállete, you hear me? Shut up.” 
You giggle, grabbing his hand and sliding it up to fit comfortably on the back of your neck. “You wanna kiss me, O’hara? You’re very welcome to do it.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice.”
Now he’s leaning in, closing in those four painstaking inches to lock lips with you.
And it’s insane. Showstopping. Any kisses you had before then? Not even a fucking kiss. Sure, it was a bit awkward at first– mainly you, you suppose– but it worked itself out. Miguel must’ve really gotten into it, because once you swear he nipped at your bottom lip with those fangs of his, just hard enough to draw blood. Your hands, in the meantime, explored his mass of brown curls, previously smoothed back but released by your fingers.
His own hands nestled themselves in your hair, tugging on it just enough to draw a sigh out of you. He tastes like blood– surely yours– yet ever so homey. You lean into him inadvertently, so content in the moment. The rational part of your brain reminds you that you’d probably suffocate if you kissed him for much longer, but nothing in you cared very much about that fact at all. 
In the end, it’s him who takes a dip for air, who drags your face off of his reluctantly to gasp softly. You do the same, resting your forehead on his toned chest. His hand, still in your hair, guides you gently back up, just so he can absorb your appearance and vice versa. It’s crazy, taking him in like this. He looks so out of control, his hair disheveled and his lips puffy and his cheeks red, releasing air in quick puff puffs. You’re sure you’re not much better looking.
“Out of breath already?” He says, head tilted with a goofy sort of grin adorning his face. “I’m regaining it currently, don’t tease.” You puff back at him, dropping your head back onto his chest.
“Oh, but teasing you is the best part.”
You stab a finger into his side. “Be quiet.”
“If you fare like this, mi alma, you won’t last very long where we’re headed.”
Your head whips up, equal parts confusion and frustration. “First of all, I’m fine. Second of all, what?”
“C’mon.” he pulls you off the bed.
“Are we sure I can even–”
His arm is around your shoulders, hand clamped tightly around it to squeeze you reassuringly. “I got you.”
“Thanks.” Your smile towards him is mushy, but you couldn’t quite find it in yourself to care.
“De nada,” He smiles back, and you mentally note to tease him about his softness later on. “Let’s get all the way to home plate, huh?”
“Let’s.”
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feel free to drop by my inbox anytime, everyone, before i run out of ideas
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vitamin-cunt · 1 year
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hiii im a new follower and can i request a dabi x fem!domme!reader
format is full fic but if you want can you also add some headcanons at the end
kinks to add
•sadisim (reader
•masochism (dabi)
•dumbification
•frotteurism (ok idk if you make your fics automatically match with your blog theme [hospital for horny mfs like me] but can you make it so that dabi is a paitient of a hospital for sub people and reader is his most favorite doctor so theres alot of intimacy)
•master and pet themes (reader makes dabi wear a collar, very very short maid dress with frilly black lingerie, cat ears and a cat tail butt plug)
and can you make it so that the reader has a genital type quirk were reader can give people the genitals of the opposite gender and do it to herself without removing their original genital (ex. reader gives dabi a vagina and clit while still having a dick)
A/N: anon I'm in love with you. I'm on one knee rn, you have no idea (Tired asf gonna go proofread this in the morning)
CW: As stated in the ask above, GN! Pronouns, cock mentioned (can be interpreted as a strap tho), Dabi has a pussy at some point (idc, idc there's the door), fingering said pussy
Making a broken man of Dabi
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What the fuck was he doing here?
Like, seriously, why the fuck was he here???
It was a strange situation, really. A hospital for incredibly lewd individuals to seek treatment-
And he of all people was here?
He didn't have lewd desires, just-
Well, fuck, he couldn't have normal sex but that didn't require an intervention or whatever this was.
He ran his tongue over his teeth as he rolled over in his hospital bed. Even the uniform was weird-
He was in a maid outfit. A black, short-ass maid dress.
"Awww, look at him blush~ Let me have him, I think we're gonna like each other."
His face burned furiosuly at the memory. When he was first admitted, he'd been uncooperative with pretty much everyone. The "doctors,"(if that's what you could even call them), the nurses, even other patients, because he wasn't like them, dammit!
He wasn't some sex-obsessed lunatic that fucked any hole in sight, he just-
He liked certain things. A lot more than most people did, but that was fine. At least he thought it was fine.
He'd scared off all but one of the staff.
You.
He couldn't make you disappear and, for whatever reason, he'd come to appreciate your presence.
You treated him more human than anyone did in this God-forsaken hell-hole. You checked on him, catered to his needs, listened to his moans and groans about this place...
He swallowed down the excitement as he realized you would be coming in today.
The one thing that set you apart from the staff was that you knew what buttons to press with him.
"I think this thong will look so cute on you~"
"You did such a good job touching yourself for me!"
"Be a good boy and lift your ass up just a little higher for me."
It was like you could read his mind.
Yeah, that was Dabi's "problem." He liked being a toy.
Your toy.
He'd always known he had a thing for being treated like shit, but he tried to keep it on the down-low.
Too bad Daddy dearest found out.
A knock came at his door, and before he could even sit up, you were entering the room, an oddly wide grin on your face.
"How's my favorite patient?"
He narrows his eyes and rolls over in his bed to face you and the door. In your hands was a duffel bag of god knows what. "You're only this happy when you have shit to try on me," he says, eyeing the bag and trying to guess what was making those bulges from every angle in it.
You laugh and ignore him despite his bite of a response. "God, Dabi, what did I tell you about keeping these blinds open?" You walk over to his window blinds and sharply close them shut, leaving the room in the eerie purple glow of the lights above. "How are you going to masturbate with any privacy in this place?"
"What, you want me in the dark all the fucking time?" He hoists himself up on one elbow and follows you as you unpack your supplies. "Yeah, the one thing that gets me hard is a dank-ass hospital room."
"Mmm, just that? Not your favorite doctor?" You fake a pout, hand halfway in the duffel. "Even after I stretched that ass last night? Even after I played with those tits?"
He throws his head back, outwardly in exasperation and inwardly with a humming arousal in his chest. Even his low sigh could be confused for an excited groan.
And one wouldn't be wrong in thinking that.
"Why do you always..." he covers his hot face, trying to put into words what he wanted to say without sounding absolutely pathetic.
But, how could one get any more pathetic laying in a maid outfit in a rehabilitation hospital for the most debauched and depraved sex-addicts?
He swallowed and began again. "You're always describing my body like...like...you know I don't have those parts, right?"
After a moment of silence, he peeks between his hand to find you smiling down at the cat ears and cat butt-plug in your hands.
Your favorites.
When you look up, its with a craze in your eyes. And why should he be surprised?
Only the most depraved could work here.
"You're saying it would make more sense to use those words if you had those..."parts?" You tilt your head innocently. Well, as innocently as someone could with a bottle of lube in their hands now accompanying the lewd accessories.
"I guess," he muttered, his hand sliding down to his jaw and muffle his voice.
He was glad you couldn't see his cock twitching to life beneath his skirt. He loved that face. The look in your eyes right before you fuck him dumb.
"Can I show you a trick?" you ask, approaching his bed and laying your "materials" next to him. "You know the position, get in it, baby," you command, before he can answer your first question.
It always takes some time to follow your first order, but he always does it. Even now, with his head buried in his folded arms and his ass in the air, exposing his thong.
"Happy?" he bites, even through the muffle of his pillow.
He hears you donning your gloves and next came the sound of lube squirting from a bottle.
"We'll tell the insurance this was a prostate exam."
A cold finger pushes itself against the entrance of his hole and then inside him, sliding in easily.
He groans in arousal and discomfort. He guessed it wasn't entirely an entirely normal thing to prefer the feeling of surgical gloves to human fingers, but why give this hospital further justification to keep him here?
"Don't rock, baby, I've told you this before."
Right. He was already fucking himself back against your fingers despite only one being inside.
Your other gloved hand rubs his ass, lifting up the skirt to see the skin beneath it.
"You're still a little red from yesterday, so I'm not gonna spank you today."
He simply nods, hypnotized when you slip in a second finger. And then a third, and, fuck, even a fourth.
This couldn't even count as prepping when you were hitting his g-spot so earnestly that you had him moaning into his pillow. But he had, notably, reduced his writhing because, dammit, you made him want to be obedient.
And just like that, you'd slipped your fingers out, leaving him feeling empty.
"Fuck, if you're gonna prep, then fucking prep, don't..." he swallows as he realized he'd crossed a line.
Never back talk.
"I-I just mean...because it's like you're teasing..." he stutters out weak follow-up after weak follow-up, trying to backtrack from his outburst.
But, to his shock, you don't get angry at him. You laugh, in fact. Soon, something metal was pressing against him and after a moment, the metal plug end of the cattail slips inside him and slotted itself perfectly as he'd grown accustomed to.
Even then he arches his back and pants.
What were you playing at?
Any other day you would have punished him to senseless tears for the way he talked to you, but now?
He's pulled from his pondering when you adorn him with the cat ears.
"On your back, Kitty," you say, walking away to change your gloves. He obeys, wondering if you were going to come back with a cock ring like you'd had last night.
But, besides the fresh pair of gloves, you'd come back empty-handed.
He was really concerned now, especially as you mounted the bed with a grin that left his thighs trembling and his mind buzzing.
"Fuck's going on?" He growled, testing his luck with his mouthiness.
You don't answer, instead choosing to lean forward and press your lips to his. He'd kissed you before, but this...
Why was he suddenly hot? Like, burning, he...he hadn't activated his quirk, had he?
Suddenly, a buzzing emerged from between his legs. Then, a dampness in his thong. Finally, a sudden wave of inexplicable pleasure.
"Wh-what the fuck!? Why do I- mmmmh, it's not supposed to feel wet down there, what did you- ahhh- what did you do???"
He squirmed beneath you, the hospital bed creaking loudly as it usually did during your encounters. His face burned as a new warmth overtook his loins, one that he'd never felt before.
He rubbed his thighs together, trying to rid himself of the incessant ache, but you place your knees between them before he can really do anything.
"Why're you so freaked out?" You say above him, removing your scrub top. "It's just sex therapy!"
"Bullshit." His eyes scan your bare chest and abdomen, having seen it for the first time ever, really.
You laugh lightly through your nose. "Okay...Just sit still while your master plays with your little pussy, okay?"
"I told you, it's weird when- ah- haaah~ fuck!" His eyes went wide as your fingers slipped past his thong and inside him.
But not his ass.
All he heard was the slick squelch of your fingers penetrating him, and before he knew it, he was arched against his bed, gasping and reaching for the thin, cheap sheets above him.
He couldn't stop the moans, the uncharacteristic whines, the sounds coming from his- his-
"Your pussy's dripping for me, baby~" you laugh.
You gave him a pussy. What was worse was that you gave him a pussy and he liked it.
He could feel you scissoring in his walls, just like you did in his ass but it was different, this wasn't the same, it would never be the same-
He covered his face, you couldn't see him like this. Fine, make him wear the tail and the ears, keep him in the outfit, watch him roll his hips against your hand as you fold your fingers inside him-
But he'd be damned if he let you see the blissed tears running down his burning cheeks.
"Are you gonna cum, already?" You tease, noting his tells. His moans turning to breathless pants and a repeat of soft "uhn, uhn, uhn", his thighs trembling, his covering his face. "I didn't even get my dick inside you yet!"
You inside him? When he could feel every movement of your fingers, the aching of his- his clit-
He couldn't take it, even the idea of being filled-
"Not yet, Kitty." You removed your fingers from inside him, once again rendering him empty.
But it wasn't the same, this time, this time he felt as though he could cry. The tears fell faster now, he couldn't even hide them.
What were you doing to him?
He was crying because you wouldn't keep fingering his pussy!?
Furthermore, he was rejoicing when you'd slipped a bit of your cock inside him, his pussy clenching around nothing but air and your tip.
This is crazy, this is insane-
"Ohhh shitttt, ohhh shittt~ yes, fill me up, fill me up!"
He sounded insane-
"I know it's against protocol to directly penetrate your patients, but for you?" You whisper as you lean down and it let him get adjusted. "I couldn't let anyone else be the first person to use this pussy~"
You quickly grow impatient of letting him adjust and it shows because soon, light rocking turns to full-on thrusts in and out of him, fuck the slapping noise it made, fuck the squelching noise it made, fuck how loud he got-
Fuck, he was so loud-
He doesn't know what to do with himself but sit back and take it. Take getting pounded mercilessly like a little bitch.
"Seems like after tonight, you'll fit in with the other patients, hm?" You grab his jaw and turn his dissenting face back in your direction. "Think I trained my Kitty well, don't you?"
He could barely understand you, not with you grabbing the tops of his thighs and pulling his hips down into yours as you slam up into him.
"Tell me you deserve to be here, baby. Tell me you're just a depraved sex slut like the rest of the patients."
He wanted to reply, he really wanted to, but how could he when his tongue was sticking out of his mouth and his eyes were stuck in the back of his head?
"C'mon, baby, I know you can do it. Tell me you're no different, c'mon, let me hear it, baby."
"Haaaah, I'm n-no different! I-I'm the same! I deserve this!"
It wasn't much, but even you knew that he would cum before you could get more out of him, at least at the rate you were going. And, frankly, you didn't want to stop.
In fact, you wanted to take things a step further.
You grab his cock, the same cock that he'd barely registered still having, and began stroking.
And that was all that it took for Dabi, because seconds later he was clenching around you as tight as he could and cumming. It was almost like a double orgasm, what with his spurting white cum onto his black dress, and cumming clenched around you. White hot shocks sent his paralyzed body into brief jerking motions and the pleasure was immense beyond his understanding.
He would deal with the implications of this event when he wasn't still coming down from his high.
"Remember this the next time you complain about how I describe you, Dabi. Because you might just get what you wish for."
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familyabolisher · 1 year
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Would you elaborate on why you don't really believe in addictive personalities? I find that a useful descriptor for myself that reminds me how easy it is for me to get into unhealthy behavior patterns. I have to fully stay away from tiktok and gacha games(I will never go gambling) because I know I can't trust myself with them. I also have to be REALLY careful with alcohol, etc. I have adhd and bi-polar, and I like having a phrase that describes my experience without being too over-medicalized and relating everything to diagnoses. I'm curious why you don't like it as a construct/whatever your opinion is!
personal explanatory power is one thing and i wouldn’t begrudge you that but i don’t really see how it has any materialist usage; and ultimately, like, i’m a marxist, any way in which i evaluate a framework that’s supposed to explain something in the world has to come from the assumption that the world is best explained through historical materialism. ‘addictive personality’ with no further elaboration is an idealist claim which obfuscates crucial points of discourse around addiction and the conditions that give rise to it—and indeed the conditions which cause us to name one substance or action as ‘addictive’ over another in the first place. addiction is materially punished; through social stigma, but also through housing discrimination, workplace discrimination, policing & incarceration, psychiatry, the sorts of forces that add up to eventually facilitate the conditions of social murder. we only have to look as far as the war on drugs to understand how ‘addiction,’ the consumption and circulation of substances regarded as ‘addictive,’ is not a prediscursive state but one that can be leveraged to violently enforce conditions of hegemony and quell insurgence through carceralism and social murder. i also just heavily distrust psychology as a field and certainly don’t buy these appeals to an essential self as a self who ‘has’ xyz tendencies as though xyz tendencies (such as the traits given in the five-factor model which is applied to ‘explain’ a predisposition to addiction) are anything other than postdiscursive descriptors we’ve imbued with meaning relative to a postdiscursive normalcy. i think psychological theorising around personality tends to obfuscate materialist frameworks in favour of methodologies which presume and reify normativity (eg. the claim that those more vulnerable to ‘addictive personalities’ have a stronger tendency towards ‘social alienation’ and ‘nonconformity’ without defining what constitutes ‘alienation’ and ‘conformity’ in the first place—as though personality traits simply appear out of thin air).
as we’ve seen dozens of times, “addiction” is a slippery term easily wielded towards reactionary ends. “porn addiction” is a line taken by anti-sex work radfems; “food addiction” is infamously unscientific and preying on cultural predispositions towards fatphobia; “internet addiction” is similarly flimsy and frequently deployed in theories of cultural degeneration. this doesn’t mean that the clusters of behaviours we term “addiction” aren’t “real” in the sense that some people do develop dependencies on particular substances, but that the term can be used to draw connections between the reactionary attitude held towards addiction & its attendant connotations (of infantilisation, justified removal of autonomy, incarceration, psychiatric intervention, and so on) and whatever the wielder wants to malign (porn, food, using the internet). if we reify the idea of there being an ontological state within ourselves by which we are more or less prone to “addiction,” we by implication act against the necessity of interrogating what is meant by “addiction” and why it is being invoked in the first place; we also place all our explanatory eggs, so to speak, in the basket of the individual cast as “addicted,” rather than turning our attention towards the source of the “addictive” substance or object and its material origins + usage.
so it bears asking what we’re obscuring and what we’re facilitating when we give legitimacy to the idea of an ‘addictive personality’ in the public discourse, which is what i meant when i said that the term has no materialist explanatory power for me—casting someone in the role of an addict, even if only in the hypothetical, allows others to enforce the stigmas that such a role entails, through, for example, infantilisation, denial of autonomy, and reluctance to treat the individual’s behaviour as worthy of respect, compassion, and mature response. it creates a telos out of addiction under conditions wherein addiction means incarceration (literal or psychiatric), discrimination, ostracisation, everything i just laid out in the first paragraph. it makes addiction into a fundamentally individualist discourse which must therefore have individualist solutions, rather than a complex nexus of social conditions and discourses that we can describe and then fight against.
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hey-august · 8 months
Text
When it's time to party, we will always party hard
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I wrote this one-shot a while ago and held onto it as a lil reward for getting 200 followers. I know that's not the usual milestone, but omgggg it's so amazing to me!!! To everyone who enjoys reading my nonsense about this goober - thank you, ily, I appreciate you lots and lots! 🤗🥰❤️❤️❤️
Word count: ~3.3k
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, buggy x GN!reader, no use of Y/N, not an established relationship, drinking, oral - buggy receiving, anal sex - reader receiving, protected sex, *glitter*, a bandana is not enough aftercare (but it's the thought that counts). All parties are consenting adults.
A/N: I originally imagined that the song playing in the background is Custer by Slipknot. It just seems like the kinda shit they'd put on after a while because 'lol cut cut cut me up' but the silly chop chop man will always put himself back together. I'm curious to hear what music you imagine!
Title comes from "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Pirates and drinking - already an overwhelming combination. Add loud music, rowdy jokes, lighthearted arguments, tall tales, drunk fights, a disco ball, sea shanties, and terrible dancing? Then it’s a full-blown we’re-gonna-get-fucked-up party.
Your crew was celebrating a successful treasure raid - overflowing chests led to overflowing cups. Buggy had ordered for all the alcohol to be pulled out and cracked open for tonight’s festivities, the tantalizing smells of wooden casks, sharp rum, and wine becoming a siren’s call for everyone on the ship.
This was your first time experiencing such a blowout and it quickly went to your head. The main party was contained in the mess, but the festivities quickly spread across the ship with people constantly coming and leaving. Clusters and cliques found everywhere and anywhere, like rowdy dust bunnies. Some groups gathered to sing loud choruses, others to conduct drinking challenges, one lot took over the crow’s nest to smoke, and countless others that simply enjoyed the fun.
The group that adopted you stayed in the mess, talking and chatting. Unfortunately, the concentration required to follow a conversation that could hardly be heard over the pounding music was far out of your grasp. Instead, you just pretended to listen. Nodding when it felt appropriate, chuckling when the others broke into laughter, and taking shots alongside the others. Meanwhile, you watched the crowd. It didn’t take long for someone to start a game of darts, but with throwing knives. Fun and dangerous. Someone else began collecting empty bottles to juggle. By this point, he was up to 5 bottles cascading through the air, with one balanced on his head. Delightful!
You took another shot and broke off from your group. You wanted to get a closer look at the juggler. He made it look so easy and you wanted to try. Sure, you never juggled before, but it couldn’t be that difficult. Navigating the surging crowd was a challenge that you succeeded in overcoming. The victory was short lived when you misjudged your next step. Your foot caught the corner of a chair like a ship hitting shallow coral. The momentum propelled your forwards and you grabbed onto the first thing that touched your hands. A person. A person who grabbed you back, trying to fix your incoordination. It took you a moment to realize that the hands steadying your body didn’t line up with the arms you grabbed. Shit. That was when you finally recognized the coat in your grasp.
Buggy’s hands brought you back to your feet as he turned around to survey the damage. Your face was flushed, but you were fine. The red tint was probably because of the alcohol. And embarrassment from losing your sea legs. Even worse, the humiliation made your body feel weaker, like your knees were going to give out. At least you thought that’s what it was, until the butterflies in your stomach took flight. Stupid blue butterflies with cute red noses. 
Buggy felt your grip tighten so he slipped an arm around your back, propping your unsteady form against his. Having lived most of his life above water, it took a lot for the captain’s sea legs to falter. Although, the sweet look of shame on your face did make him feel a little woozy.
“S-sorry, Captain. I didn’t see you there.” Feebly, you tried to pull away, but you couldn’t. You didn’t really want to. And Buggy didn’t want to let go yet, either.
“Damn and here I was thinking that you fell for me,” he joked. 
You didn’t think your temperature could get any hotter, but now you were hoping to melt a hole in the floor and fall away. Hopefully it wasn’t obvious how fucking flustered you were. A floating hand came by holding two shots and the expectant look on your captain’s face told you that one was for you. 
“C’mon, it’s a celebration,” Buggy encouraged, squeezing you and kicking back his shot. 
You took yours and winced as it hit your throat. It almost felt cool, soothing the torrent of thoughts raging in your body. Looking back at Buggy, you noticed a few drops trailing down the corner of his mouth. Sloppy. Adorable. Without thinking, you reached over and wiped the liquid with your thumb. Before you could pull away, the clown flicked out his tongue to lick your thumb. He apologized for wasting alcohol and winked. That fucker.
The bashful frown on your face was too much for Buggy. It was fun pressing your buttons, but this was quickly turning into a dangerous game. Reluctantly, he loosened his grip on your body to release you back into the wild of the party. He watched you sway slightly, as if your body forgot how to stand without him. His body tensed as he resisted the urge to pull you back into his embrace.
Thoughts swirled in your head, carried on the current of alcohol. If your captain was acting so forward, why couldn’t you? It is a party after all…
“Captain, would it- would it be okay if I kept thinking about you? At night?” you stumbled over the words, eager to get an answer.
Buggy cocked his head to the side. This was a surprise - albeit a welcome one. He pointed at himself questioningly and you nodded. His eyes narrowed and his grin broadened dangerously. Leaning forwards, Buggy whispered in your ear. His voice sent chills down your spine, conflicting with the heat between your legs.
“How about you do more than thinking?” 
His breath was warm and you wanted to feel it everywhere on your body. You wanted to feel him everywhere. You nodded.
Buggy grabbed your hand and strutted away, leaving you with just a hand. You followed the direction his appendage pulled, trailing behind your captain like a puppy. He guided you both to the closest empty corridor, dragging you the last few feet by summoning his hand. Spinning you around in a clumsy two-step to the muffled music that reverberated through the ship, he pressed his lips against yours and moved past a few crates stored in the dead-end hallway. Still with wobbly legs, you grabbed his coat to stay upright and held your mouth tight against your dancing partner. The taste of rum and spit coated your tongue. He tasted sweet and bitter. And a little dirty. 
Breaking the kiss, Buggy tilted your face up with a finger on your chin. He searched your eyes, looking for any sign of hesitation. It wouldn’t be the first time the pirate clown misread a situation and he wasn’t in the mood to be slapped in a not-sexy way. Your crashing mouth against his was enough of an answer and he eagerly reciprocated the affection. The next break was initiated by your breathlessness and dizziness. Pulling away, you saw that Buggy wore a similar expression with stars in his eyes.
“Why don’t you show me what kinds of things you think about?” Buggy prodded in a low voice. He placed your hand on his erection and used you to pet himself.
“Fuck,” you whispered, surprised by the pirate’s large mast. Although you said that for yourself, his cock twitched in appreciation.
“Please? Show me,” he whined, grinding against you. The begging tone in his voice made your throat tight and put your stomach in knots. That was nice. You liked hearing that.
Sinking to your knees, you undid Buggy’s pants and shimmied them down enough to access the treasure you’ve only dreamt about. The tip of his fat cock glistened, coated in precum. You blew on it lightly, enjoying how it swung and bobbed. Buggy hissed in anticipation.
“D-don’t be such a tease.”
You blew again. He groaned in pleasure and frustration. Holding the base of his cock, Buggy pressed it against your lips. At the very least, this should keep you from treating him like a fucking whistle. Your eyes fluttered as it throbbed against your lips, smearing precum like chapstick. You gave in and let Buggy into your mouth, relishing the soft moan he rewarded you with.
You sucked, licked, and caressed him until your jaw ached and your chin was coated in drool. Needing a break, you dragged your tender lips down the side of his cock. Kissing the base, you worked your way down to bathe his balls with a wide lick. You just barely hear Buggy muttering sweet nothings over the faint music. He placed a hand on the back of your head and pressed your face against himself. Spurred by his encouragement, you gently sucked and kissed his balls, coating them in your spit. You like how his cock rested on your face, accidentally tapping you a few times when it twitched.
Nearby voices broke your concentration. You looked up and saw Buggy eyeing the end of the hallway. He looked back down and - fuck - you looked so good down there. Obscene and beautiful.  He blinked a few times trying to clear his mind.
“N-no one can see anything as long as they don’t come down here. Crates are in the way,” he mumbled while thoughtlessly grinding against your mouth.
The voices got louder then softer, soon they were drowned out by the ambience of the ship. Whoever it was didn’t pay any attention or pause. While it felt naughty and a bit exciting, neither of you were in the mood to play a fucked up game of hide-and-seek. Before anyone else could come by and interrupt, Buggy brought you into the storeroom at the end of the hallway. One hand led the way, opening and closing the door, while the other pulled you along, taking you to one of the barrels kept in the room.
The hand you held pulled you across the barrel, your stomach and chest pressed along the top. You let your head drop into your arms for a moment. You were breathless, excited, and overwhelmed. Afraid that you would forget to live in the moment by being too interested in what might happen next. But this moment is more than you ever fucking imagined. The taste of Buggy’s cock in your mouth, your face coated in precum and spit, and now, here you were waiting for his touch.
Muttered profanity and rummaging brought your attention to your frantic captain. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Buggy patting and checking his coat pockets with floating hands and arm stumps. One hand seemed to emerge proudly until you both noticed the glove was covered in glitter. That is definitely not what he wanted and his hand actually looked disappointed in itself. You laughed at how dramatic Buggy is, even when it’s just a fraction of himself.
The clown cast a joking sneer your way before being interrupted by his other hand. Why he’s interrupting himself, you don’t know, but it makes you laugh again. Pulling himself back together, Buggy told you to get ready. You undid your pants and pulled them down enough to grant him access. Meanwhile, Buggy took the condom and lube he pulled out and prepared himself. The crinkle of the foil packet had your heart pounding.
A slap to the ass let you know that the fun was about to begin, the sound of his bare hand on your body was sharp. A rough hand pulled your ass cheeks apart as he kneaded your doughy skin.
“Fucking amazing,” he sighed while stroking his lubed cock.
Buggy leaned in and spit. You shuddered as it trickled down. He swiped the liquid with his thumb and pressed it against your asshole. Teasing you. Applying just enough pressure to make you feel delirious. You bucked your hips, trying to get something more. More pressure, more movement, something, anything.
“Tell me what you want, use your words,” Buggy crooned, rubbing circles that went to your head, dizzying your mind. You could still hear the dull sounds of music carrying through the ship. The heavy bass made you feel like your heartbeat was echoing everywhere.
“F-fuck me! I want you in me, please!” you cried.
“Keep going. I need to know what you think about~” he said in a sing-song lilt. 
Impatience and need raged in your body, consuming all rational thought. You took a deep breath, preparing to say things that you had only planned to keep contained in your fucked up head.
“Captain, I want you to fuck me in the ass,” your voice was shakey, but you kept going, “I w-want to feel your dick stretch my ass while you fuck me stupid. I don’t want my body to forget what you feel like.”
While you couldn’t see the brief surprise flit across his face, you could hear it in his husky voice.
“Damn, I didn’t expect you to be so filthy. You fucking pervert,” Buggy said as he pulled his hand away and slapped your ass again. It stung in a delightful way.
A breath lingered in your throat at the feeling of the tip of his cock pressing against you. Buggy entered, eased by the lube and spit. He could see your body soften with the sensation.
“Y-yeah, like that please,” you whined, wanting to encourage your captain.
Panting, Buggy grabbed your waist and thrusted in time with the music floating through the walls. Hitting quick and deep, as if he knew what your body craved. It wasn’t long before the wet sounds of your bodies connecting filled the room, accented with moans of pleasure.
“I-is this wh-”
“Yes! You’re d-doing so good, Captain. So much better than I imagined.”
“Of-fucking-course,” he grunted, insulted by the insinuation that your imagination could be better than the real thing. He snapped his hips into you harder, wanting to pulverize those measly thoughts and replace them with memories that would make your legs shake. The high pitched whine you released let him know that he was hitting a good spot.
“Ooooh, that feels s-good…” Your words slurred together, strung with ecstasy and alcohol. 
Buggy’s hands pawed at your hips as he continued slamming into you, the movement jostling the barrel beneath your bodies. The ferocity in his movements were numbing your mind and body to everything except his touch. Each thrust loosened all thoughts that weren’t about your captain. The constant jiggling of your body dulled everything that wasn’t extreme - that wasn’t his bruising hands or his hard cock that refused to relent to your tight ass.
You were in absolute bliss, drifting on golden waves of lust, desire, and cock. You could hardly lift your head up, choosing to rest it against the wood grain and drool.
“D-do you think about coming while I screw you? I bet you fucking do…”
Buggy’s taunting words lit a fire in your body. While you were content to be fucked senseless, it wouldn’t take long to come and you absolutely imagined it before. Countless times. Sluggishly, you wiggled your body, moving a hand between your legs. It took a moment to get comfortable, since you didn’t pull your pants down far and your unsteady hand had to navigate through that blocker. Once you were in an okay position and playing with yourself, you tilted your head to the side so Buggy could see you nod.
“M’close,” you whined.  
You didn’t have to tell him, Buggy could feel it. Your body was tight. Tense under his hands. Your ass was squeezing against him, increasing the pressure and friction you both needed. Your orgasm was at your fingertips, just waiting for the final push.
“Where d-do you want me to finish?”
“-in me, f-fucking come in me, please. Want you to come too. W-wanna feel it.”
Buggy’s body threatened to fall apart at the sound of those words. He’s pretty sure his neck split a fraction when he tilted his head back in delight. Worried that he might actually fall apart entirely, he hunched over your back and leaned into his impending orgasm. He was in a frenzy, bucking his hips against you, while also rocking your body and barrel against him. Going so deep it ached. Making your body confused, believing this is what it was created for. 
The way your sweet hole accepted him so readily each time he slid into you, but gripped him tightly when he pulled back was more intoxicating than anything else Buggy had tonight. Your yelps and cries of pleasure carried him higher, closer to the precipice until he tipped over. His weak seams threatening to break again, Buggy slumped over your back as he fucked through his orgasm.
You felt Buggy’s cock pump inside, flexing against your already strained hole. That sensation and the weight of his body collapsing on yours, which felt surprisingly intimate, were the final pieces you needed - wanted - before you came. You had imagined what it would be like to come on his throbbing cock, feeling it twitch inside you, and holy shit. Your hands and toys were a depressingly pale comparison to the real thing.
Buggy kept moving until you finished with a deep breath that gently rocked his body. Finally letting go of your hips, Buggy braced against the barrel and pushed himself upright. Reluctant to pull his softening cock from your body just yet, he ran his hands along your lower back, thumbs pressing into muscles that must be tender. A shudder coasted through your body, causing your asshole to pulse and flutter. Buggy hissed, feeling both overstimulated but craving more. He definitely didn’t have another round in him just then, so he pulled out.
You felt empty. Satisfied. Messy. But also empty. You stayed resting against the barrel, not trusting your wobbly legs or the spinning in your head. Both were probably from getting dicked down so successfully, but it could still be the alcohol. You listened to the sound of snapping rubber, which was followed by the sound of rustling fabric. 
Groaning, you pushed yourself up and turned to see what the pirate captain was looking for this time. He was unsuccessful so far. And then that damn hand emerges from the glitter pocket. But this time, it was his bare hand. Which was sticky. And now it’s sticky and covered in glitter.
“For fuck’s sake,” Buggy growled, swatting his arts-and-crafts hand away with his arm. You found that fucking hilarious and threw your head back in laughter. Although Buggy wasn’t keen on being laughed at, he did like the sound. Giving up on his quest, the clown used his other hand to tug the bandana off his head and straightened his hat afterwards. He held the square of fabric out towards you.
“Sorry, I can’t find something else. This should be enough until you get to the showers,” he explained.
This was like a dream. Better than a dream, really. You never would have thought Buggy would hand off one of his bandanas for post-sex clean up. Dirty, like a pirate, and you liked it. You accepted the gesture and gingerly cleaned yourself, clearing away just enough that you could get dressed.
Buggy waited by the door until you were ready. You walked over and before he could open the door, you stuck out your foot. Tonight had been full of surprises and cause for celebration. Even though you had already pushed your luck, maybe there was room for a little more. Trailing your fingers on Buggy’s coat, you leaned in and pressed a light kiss against the corner of his mouth.
“You know, I’ve thought about what the captain’s personal shower must be like…” you said coyly.
Buggy reached up to grab your chin before realizing it was the glitter hand. Rolling his eyes, Buggy matched your gaze instead.
“I never woulda thought you were such a greedy slut for your captain. Seems like there are a lot of thoughts in that head that I need to deal with.” He flashed you that dashing, mischievous smile that always turns you into putty.
Buggy pushed past you to exit and tilted his head, inviting you to follow. And you did, without wasting another thought.
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dinkyshield · 3 months
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god forbid maria has an outfit more akin to the hookers of the fucking 1980’s which is when the creator of sh2 wanted the game to play out. as much as sexualization is important to maria it is not her core aspect, as said before by fucking mashairo ito who designed maria. Edit, I know Maria wasn’t made by him but certainly the outfits produced for her were designed and picked by him. Seeing as he’s the designer not just for the monsters but for all of the characters, hence why Ito wanted Maria’s style to be more akin to that of the 80’s. Countless pictures and sources for sex workers or the “racy” fashion of the 80’s is more like the outfit given to Maria.
SH2 has no set date but given the fact that the vehicles shown in the gameplay don’t look modern at all or even that of the 90’s, it’s likely that Bloober team decided to go with the concept of it all being in the 1980’s or late 70’s. This is just personal thought given from the fact that there are several available interviews with designers, producers and those on Team Silent all sort of going in the same direction.
god forbid angela looks like a 16-17 yr old which is what bloober wanted to do considering they’re using more of the original plans for sh2 rather than the game we got which mind you, had a fuck ton of limitations bc of the platform it was made on
Edit: With Angela’s age, I know she’s 19 but that’s not originally what was wanted for her. Due to her being a victim of CSA her original concept was that of a 16-17 yr old rather than a 19 yr old. We’ll have to see until the game comes out to see if Bloober decided to add that detail into the game now. Given that those topics are more heavily broached in modern media which is what SH2 wanted to originally delve into but had to cut out.
Maybe i’m wrong and yeah you can piss on this post all you want but as someone who’s heavily into 80’s concepts and a big fan of silent hill, i just had to stomp on people that for some reason want Maria to be naked and that Angela I guess is icky (???)
I love Maria’s new design considering it isn’t directly ripping from christina aguilera and also, it’s very obvious they’re going for realistic presentations of the characters rather than idealized concepts.
and god forbid they look like real people and not supermodels.
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Pleaaaaaase give me and all of us ALL the lore I would love it 🥹
Yay!!! Let me try and go in order of events?
Actual essay below the cut
Lilith! So, in this universe, there is obviously no deal with Xaden to keep Vi "safe" in the rider's quadrant, but Lilith sends her anyway because she still thinks Vi will be safer in the quadrant than in the scribes, venin-wise. Because of this (in the quadrant with no Xaden) a few things happen! Vi's generally MORE aware of the venin adjacent issues, she's less confident with her lightning, and when it becomes clear to Lilith that Col. Aetos is after Violet, she knows she has to figure something new out.
The storm! The storm is Lilith's doing. @k2jk and I chatted about this briefly, and they summed it up pretty well in that Lilith starts the storm to try and delay Vi from reaching Athebyne entirely, but when that fails, she adapts and overcomes (if you will) and decides to use the storm to keep Vi in the cave with Xaden. Obviously, she doesn't have the deal in this universe, but she knows Xaden, at the very least, cares about the venin problem, as she suspects Vi will too. Also, Vi had THREE dragons, so she was fine, battle-wise. I think in canon Lilith is out of town (LOL) when war games happen, but in this specific universe where (again) Vi doesn't have X looking out for her, I think Lilith would be a lot more hands-on (in her very Lilith way). Also, Lilith clearly has a thing with like, storms at times other people would not want a storm. Seems her love language is just ruining people's day!
Xaddy! So Em and I (@maethologies) captured the Xaden lore in this as instead of being a child of divorce as he is in canon, he is instead a child of PLEASE get a divorce!! I don't know what the math is precisely, but canonically, Fen Riorson had to have been pretty young when he had Xaden, because Sgaeyl is AROUND fifty, I believe. This led me to conclude that his mom would be pretty young too? So there's that part of things, and then add in the fact that their marriage/betrothal/sex pact was contractual and not out of love, and that Fen HAD to be a pretty hard core guy in regards to his commitment to the revolution, and I think we have a nice recipe for some issues! Amy @skyfallscotland's original prompt was that either the Tyrrish Rebellion never happened, or it happened differently, and I decided to take the happened differently route of things. And when considering how things could have happened differently, my first thought for a variable we actually know about was Xaden's mom. So, I made her Poromish (which I think she is, I just think she's hiding in the Isles in canon). Basically, the idea there is that she left when he was ten, but she did come back, and she was pretty in and out of his life. She's not queen, because his parents aren't married (afaik) but she's...around? sometimes? But, her presence in Tyrrendor was able to get Poromiel to throw some extra troops/weapons/money/ whatever who knows at the Rebellion, which helped the Rebellion win. Another thing Em and I talk about that is relevant to this fic is that we both see Fen/unnamed woman who is Xaden's mom as a mirror of xaden/cat, or what xaden/cat would have become, sans Vi. To ME, this means they were pretty toxic, fought a lot in front of Xaden, general manipulation what have you. If we ever get Xaden's mother's first name I will probably succumb to my demons and write a full prequel fic, but that day is not today!
Xaddy part 2! I said this elsewhere, but Xaden's gryphon gift is basically his second signet! That's how he cheats at rock paper scissors (what a guy!!) and that's how he repeatedly reads her mind throughout the fic. Vi doesn't seem to know about gryphon fliers having mind work gifts in canon until X tells her, so I assumed she wouldn't know. Also, like, of course he bonds Sgaeyl eventually. Of course. Not to @ Amy twice in one post, but I think of it as VERY similar to Keep Quiet in that it's like, we know this guy. We know his destiny. We Know. So yes, he bonds Sgaeyl EVENTUALLY, but not on page. I have an idea, actually, but I don't want anyone else asking me to write a continuation of this AU, so I don't want to say it publicly just yet, LOL.
I think that 's it for now? If there's anything else lore-wise anyone else was wondering about, feel free to ask!!
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littlemissaddict · 2 years
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I Miss You (18+) - Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Summary: Eddie’s away on tour when he finds a bunch of polaroid's in his suitcase from reader and he has to thank her when he calls.
Word Count: 2660
Warnings ⚠️ Phone sex, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, swearing. I think that’s it but please let me know if there’s anything else I should add. Also if it’s not clear 18+ only minors kindly dni thank you.
This has been sat unfinished in my drafts for far too long and was originally supposed to be super sickly fluff but as always with anything I right lately it’s turned into smut, enjoy!
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Coming home to an empty house was one thing she hated but the first time doing it after Eddie had gone on tour was always the hardest as she had to readjust back into the routine of him not greeting her at the door with a warm smile and open arms when she returned home from work. Tonight, once she had stepped through the threshold, she was greeted with silence. Kicking her shoes off by the door and depositing her bag on the table as she made her way into the kitchen to busy herself with making dinner to hopefully keep her mind off the loneliness beginning to grow inside of her.
Truth was, the tours that Corroded Coffin did now were not as frequent as they did when they were just starting out, no longer picking up any gig they could get just to build their fanbase. No, their fanbase was going strong and still growing everyday as the guys got bigger but she was just thankful that despite that Eddie was quite happy to stay in Hawkins. It hadn't always been that way but after a few months of staying out in LA while they wrote for their debut album and played shows nearly every night, Eddie had confessed to her that he'd been so relieved to come back home and just have that sense of normality back that he did the unthinkable to his teenage self, he bought a house for the two of them in Hawkins with part of his pay off from their album.
Now that had been an occasion for celebrating and while Eddie was appreciative of all the parties being held for them, the first chance he got he took her and Uncle Wayne out for a big fancy dinner wanting to spoil the two people who had always been there for him. He had also surprised his uncle with a cheque which obviously Wayne had tried to refuse stating, "I don't need your money boy, didn't do all I did for you expecting anything back" and Eddie had agreed with him. He knew that wasn't the reason Wayne took him in as a boy but Wayne had taken him in without complaint, raised him well so that he wouldn't follow the same paths as his parents and well it was clear they had struggled so now that Eddie had the means he wanted to give back to his uncle.
"I know that but you've worked so hard for so long uncle Wayne that I think it's time you looked after you instead" Eddie had replied, pushing the envelope back into his uncles' hands until finally he relented, thanking the boy but telling him rather sternly that he wanted no more.
The ringing of the phone pulled her focus away from the pan boiling away on the hob. Glancing at the clock on the wall on her way over to the phone, she frowned, it was way too early for Eddie's call so she wasn't sure who else could be calling.
"Hello?" she spoke, her free hand twisting the wire as she waited for a response.
"Hey, how you doing? Just wanted to see if you needed anything getting" Steve's voice crackled from the receiver and she smiled hearing Robin shouting hello in the background. Of course, she knew how Eddie liked to not-so secretly have Steve call to check up on her while he was away and while Steve usually liked to call round the house unexpectedly it was clear given Robin in the background that he was still at work.
"I'm fine just making dinner" she replied, it was partly the truth because she was fine, she just missed Eddie an awful lot. Something that Steve could sense when he asked if she wanted some company to which she shook her head at, feeling slightly silly when she remembered that he couldn't see her. "Not tonight, I'm gonna eat then shower so that I can crawl into bed and wait for Eddie to ring" she told him truthfully and Steve hummed knowingly.
"Okay but Saturday you're coming with us to the movies" he said and she could hear the smile in his voice and Robin faintly in the background shouting 'no arguments', shaking her head as she rolled her eyes at the two of them before bidding them both a goodbye as she went back to her cooking, thankfully it wasn't burnt.
An hour and a half later, she was tucked up in bed with clean pyjamas and the teddy bear that Eddie had gotten her before Corroded Coffin's first ever tour, "Just so you have something to cuddle with while I'm away" he had smiled softly when he'd given it to her. The first night she'd come home to it, she found it wearing one of Eddie's shirts and upon burying her face in the soft material she'd found it smelled just like him too and that had been enough for the tears to fall, she couldn't believe that he'd been thoughtful enough to do that for her. Now though it had become tradition every time he was away and this time, it was his old Hellfire t-shirt that she'd pinched on many occasions that adorned the bear.
Wrapping herself up in the duvet with the bear held tight to her chest, she lay on Eddie's side of the bed waiting for him to call, pouncing on the phone as soon as it started ringing and answering it with a breathless hello.
"Sorry princess, did I catch you in the middle of something?" Eddie's voice drifted through the speaker and she immediately felt herself relaxing further into the bed.
"No, just in bed" she replied with a sigh, holding the teddy bear tighter in hopes of it feeling like he was actually there with her.
"Oh I see" he chuckled and she could practically see the teasing smile he was definitely wearing through the phone, "I leave for one day and your already taking matters into your own hands" He was mocking her, she knew that but for him to even suggest that she could replace him that quickly, well she couldn’t have that.
“You know nothing compares to you” she smiles, burying her reddening face into the teddy as Eddie chuckles down the line at her confession, “besides I’m having to settle for your double seeing as you left me” she teases, knowing that if he was here she’d have stuck her tongue at at him after she’d said it.
“Ah so you found him, what do you think of his outfit choices this time” Eddie asks, bypassing the part about leaving her because it wouldn’t help to dwell on the fact, she knew he’d never willingly leave her but he had to tour, it was part of his job.
“Perfect, just perfect” she sighs in reply, it was the same answer every time he asked but she was a little bitter about it this time because it was one of her favourites to sleep in when he was away.
As if he could sense it through the phone his next words only seemed to confirm it, “I thought you might say that and I know it’s your favourite so if you look under my pillow” she doesn’t give him chance to finish whatever else he had to say before she’s squealing his name and drops the phone in excitement as she fumbles under the pillows finding exactly what he was talking about.
Pulling out the neatly folded shirt, she watched it unravel as it revealed an exact copy of the shirt the teddy bear was wearing. Although as she trailed her fingers over the soft material, she realised it was more worn than that of the bears, this was his original shirt and he’d left it for her. She wasted no time stripping off her pyjamas and letting the material of his shirt slide over her head until it engulfed her body before she remembered the phone.
She could hear him asking if she was still there when she brought the phone back to her ear, “Thank you, thank you, thank you” she smiled giddily, interrupting him while wishing that he was there with her just so she could throw her arms around him and hug him tightly for the gift.
“Mhmm well I think it should be me thanking you sweetheart for the special gift I found in my suitcase” he hums, his voice dropping a lot lower than it was before.
She sits up straighter as a shiver runs down her spine, even miles away he still had that effect on her and she could just imagine him sprawled out on the bed in the hotel room with her polaroids in his hand. It had been an impulsive decision, one that she’d forgotten about until he’d mentioned it just now but she could still remember each photo she’d taken, the lingerie she’d worn was stashed away in the wardrobe ready for him getting back home.
“You like them?” she asked, feeling a little nervous. It was completely out of character for her to do something like that and she had to push away the fear of someone else other than Eddie discovering the pictures.
“Like them? Oh honey I’ve been hard since I pulled them out of the suitcase about a half hour ago, I had to force myself to wait until our usual time to call you” he groaned as if it was the hardest thing he had to do in his entire life and she couldn’t help but chuckle at his dramatics, same old Eddie she thought. “Don’t laugh sweetheart, I’m stuck here with nothing but your pictures and my hand, do you know what I’d give to have that tight pussy wrapped around me right now” he moaned.
She felt her thighs clench at his words as a familiar heat began to pool in her lower belly, she whined his name and he copied, her own name gracing her in his low voice that didn’t help the want growing inside her. “Oh Eddie I need you so bad” she whined, burying her face in the teddy which was still clutched tightly in her arms.
“Yeah sweetheart, fuck take your panties off and play with yourself for me” he groaned and she could hear shuffling in the background before his breathing grew heavier. He was touching himself and he wanted her to touch too.
Scrambling to get her panties off, she slid them halfway down her legs before she kicked them off and let them fall somewhere in the room that she’d worry about later. Slowly sliding a hand over her chest, she stopped to pinch her nipples through the thin fabric of the shirt, teasing herself just as Eddie would if he was here, whining his name as she did so. “Oh baby you sound so good, wish you were here with me” he moaned, a wet sound now beginning to grace her ears and it didn’t take her long to realise he had moved on from teasing touches to fucking his hand.
Moving the hand down from her chest, she let her fingertips dance down over her tummy whilst she imagined that it was Eddie playing with her as he usually did. When her hand reached the bottom of the shirt, she flattened her palm and let it slide until it was cupping between her legs and she could already feel her wetness dripping onto her hand. Using her middle finger, she ran it through her folds, getting it wet enough before she slid it into herself, moaning into the phone and hearing Eddie curse from the other side.
“Tell me how you’re touching yourself sweetheart, need to picture how perfect you look” he pleads following his words with a groan as if he’s holding himself back from cumming just yet as if the thought of her touching herself alone was enough to make him cum.
“I’m so wet Eds, my finger is just sliding in and out but it’s not enough, need more” she whines as her hand begins to move frantically between her legs, searching for the pleasure that Eddie can bring her so easily.
“It’s okay sweetheart, add another finger for me and let me hear how wet you are” he groans, his own hand sliding over his dick, slick with his spit that he was imagining was hers, that she had her mouth on him and was almost overwhelming him with pleasure.
Doing as Eddie said, she slowly added a second finger, moaning at the stretch and the pleasure that followed as she began moving her fingers again. “Feel better sweetheart” he asked, his fucked out voice hitting her ears and only adding to her pleasure as she quickly nodded her head in answer, completely forgetting in her pleasure that he couldn’t see her but as her moans increased. “I’ll take that as a yes then” he chuckled but it was broken when his breath caught in his throat as the gasp of ‘yes’ that followed his words.
“Jesus sweetheart you sound so good, bet you look even better” he rambled, his hand starting to pick up the pace on his dick as he brought himself closer to his orgasm, knowing that with the sounds she was making that she wouldn’t last much longer. “Think you can take some more pictures for me, wanna have a collection to take away with me next time” he growled, eyes rolling back as he started to buck his hips up to meet his hand.
“Yes Eddie, so close, gonna cum please Eds, can I?” she asked, broken by her moans as she felt the heat inside her reaching breaking point.
Eddie, never one to say no to her, especially when she sounded so pretty, pleading with him like that. “Go ahead baby, let me hear you” he encouraged, feeling his own end approaching and knowing her moans as she came would only push him over the edge. She didn’t hold back either, her moans coupled with gasps of his name and he could just picture the way her body was shaking as she came. That was it for him and with one more thrust of his hips into his hand he was cumming, white ropes of cum painting his bare torso as he moaned her name.
For a while all that could be heard between them was the heavy breaths as they came down from their highs, until he broke it with a laugh. “You know I always forget how fun that can be”
“Not as much fun as when we’re together though” she hums, body beginning to feel heavy with sleep as it always did afterwards.
“Of course not” he agrees, reaching for his discarded shirt to clean himself off with as he tries not to think of the state it will be in when it eventually gets around to being washed. As he throws it in the general direction of his suitcase his eyes find the polaroids again, “you know I wasn't joking about the pictures baby, I fully expect a collection for the next tour” he smirks.
“We’ll get to work on those when you get home” she giggles sleepily, her free hand searching for the discarded teddy bear and pulling it into her chest as she hears him chuckle on the other side of the line.
“That we will sweetheart, now get some sleep and I’ll speak to you tomorrow, I love you” he smiles, it was as bittersweet as always but he wouldn’t have it any other way, living the life he dreamed of all with the girl of his dreams by his side was more than he ever could have hoped for.
“I love you too Eds” she mumbles, using the last of her energy to place the receiver back before sleep took over her.
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