#and i was not originally going to add sex but I know some people out there would love it

[cinnamonest]

I'm not looking to start shit so I'm not linking it or anything, but you may have seen a recent anti-dark-content post circulating with a lot of notes making rounds in the x reader sphere and while I have nothing against people posting their feelings in their own private spaces, every time I see these kinds of posts there's a lot of misinformation that gets regurgitated in the reblogs/replies and I saw what looked like a battlezone in the replies, so.

I know posts like that can be very jarring and affects people like my readers, so to combat misinformation/shaming for anyone who saw it, I'm going to share some of my information on combatting fandom puritanism/misogyny/kinkshaming in its most common forms.

The most important fact, if you read nothing else, is this:

Most women have rape fantasies.

62% to be exact. I think the most pervasive myth on this content is that consumers are "weird" for it, when the numbers don't indicate that. You're in the majority!

The vast majority of people who have rape fantasies do not put them into practice in real life. A variety of factors can determine whether or not they do, particularly specific psychiatric disorders. (X)

To specifically address common harmful and pervasive myths:

the "go to therapy!" line

Generally any academic or professional resource will immediately tell you that consuming and engaging in "dark" fantasies is accepted and encouraged by mainstream psychiatry and part of the professional education for psychiatrists. (This also used to be pretty well-known until like the last 5 years or so, not sure why that changed.)

Here are some particularly insightful resources:

1) This article by Dr. David Wahl, in my opinion, hands-down does the best job of simply and thoroughly explaining why these fantasies occur and why couples practice CNC, as well as the fact that they are both harmless, psychologically beneficial to those with them, and not at all correlated to real-life rape.

2) Dr. Claudia Six has some of the best and most thorough material out there on the subject, specifically explaining why this is taught in mainstream academia psychology and how it is incredibly helpful to rape victims (X).

3) Lisa Diamond is a professional who focuses on this subject a lot, and was featured in the documentary "The Dilemma of Desire," in which she specifically focuses on how these fantasies are not correlated to real-life desires. (X)

4) Dr. Casey Lyle has specifically talked a lot on his socials about how fantasies, even in men/the perspective of the offender, do not correlate to actual risk of offending.

5) This article is not by a professional, but from the perspective of a survivor discussing how it is beneficial to survivors.

the "why would you want that?" line

The idea that fictional tastes = what you want to happen to you in real life is actually of misogynistic origin. I don't want to seek out or add links on this one, but if you're really curious, you can research about how the idea that "women read rape fiction, that means they secretly want rape!" was originally a classic "red pill"/MGTOW/4chan talking point that made its way into mainstream dialogue and thus the public mind in the last 15 years or so due to the incel epidemic popularizing those communities.

the "it's only valid for survivors then!" line

On one hand, yes it's very important to acknowledge that trauma victims use it to cope, however I feel that over-emphasizing that gives the impression that non-victims should be excluded from consumption of dark content, so to clarify, it's a very valid means for all women. Many women who have not personally experienced rape still fantasize about it, and that's fine.

The full explanation as to why this is true for many of them would be lengthy (and addressed in the aforementioned Dilemma of Desire documentary), but in the simplest terms, nonconsensual sex is the only context in which patriarchal society permits women to have sex at all without feeling guilt. For many women, particularly those in more heavily misogynistic or religious cultures, these fantasies are appealing because the idea of consensual sex may give them feelings of shame, guilt, "sin," etc. These fantasies allow them to experience the feeling of being desired without guilt of participation.

No society on earth is free of the psychological grip that cultural misogyny has on women, and shaming women for adapting to the conditions they are forced to exist under is as harmful as the misogyny that causes it itself.

ALL women experience a form of psychological trauma inherent to female childhood and female adolescence in a patriarchal world, and that is just as valid as coping with individual traumatic events.

Good resources on the subject of why women have these fantasies and how they are helpful in general:

(X) (X)

The "what you consume will make you do it in real life!" myth

Although the resources above already address this, it's important to establish why this myth is so prevalent and what its origins are.

The idea that consuming media with dark themes leads to or indicates desires to replicate those acts is a residual element of two major events:

1) Puritan revival culture, popularized in the US and UK in the 90s and 2000s (also known as "Satanic Panic"). A major facet of this movement was TV megachurch preachers making money off of exploiting well-meaning but paranoid parents into believing that your child playing Dungeons and Dragons or Pokemon would make them future serial killers and lure them into satanic cults. (X)

2) at the tail end of this, it was cemented in the public mind as a cultural ripple aftershock of the Columbine shooting, where this sentiment became popularized as the general public blamed violent video games like Doom and "dark" music like Marilyn Manson (whose life was temporarily completely upended by the events and took him years to recover/be safe from) for the 1999 shooting. This event had MASSIVE permanent and global effects in all sorts of ways that the public often underestimates the sheer scope of, notably that it solidified, prolonged, and, in the minds of many, "proved" the paranoias of the preexisting Satanic Panic. (X) This established a precedent, leading to virtually any major horrible event being blamed on the perpetrator's media consumption, including murder and sex crimes.

What this myth ignores in the cases it references (the slenderman stabbings, columbine, sasebo slashing, batman shooting, etc) is two crucial facts: that hundreds of millions of people consume the same media with no negative effects (helpful effects even), and that in every single case cited as "evidence" to the claim, the perpetrator had a preexisting psychiatric condition correlated to acts of violence (which usually went ignored, downplayed and even accelerated/worsened by those around them rather than the help they needed).

Sorry for the wall of text, but I feel an ethical obligation to combat this kind of misinformation, and I hope these resources are helpful for those who may be negatively affected by common misunderstandings.

You are not abnormal or wrong for the fictional content you consume or the fantasies you have!

[straylightdream]

three simple words

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: jeon wonwoo x f.reader

You were his first serious girlfriend and his first for many things, and he was the first boy you had ever actually loved. For some reason saying those three simple words terrified you.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: non-idol au, established relationship

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: lots of tension fluff and, smut warning below.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3k

𝐚𝐧: I’m forever down bad for wonwoo

here is my SVT taglist if you’re interested being add please fill out this form.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex (reader is on birth control), very vanilla sex, they’re both in love, wonwoo is moody and protective, nicknames: baby (hers)

It had been a long night to say the least. Things at bar were kinda messy and you hadn’t intended to call Wonwoo to come rescue you. Your original plan was to call Joshua to save yourself from Wonwoo’s “I told you so,” but you caved and call the person you truly wanted to rescue you. You also knew that Wonwoo would be mad if you called your friend before him. It turns out Wonwoo was correct about your coworker Sam wanting to sleep with you. It took very little alcohol in his system to get brave enough to ask you to hookup.

You were in the middle of dancing with Yuri when Sam came up behind you and started grinding on you. You pulled away from and tried to reject him nicely. But he only left you alone after you showed him a photo of you and Wonwoo who you told him was your boyfriend.

The moment you got away from him you rushed to the bathroom and called Wonwoo begging to not only come pick you up but play the role of scary boyfriend. You knew the only way Sam would truly leave you alone was if your boyfriend scared him off.

It took Wonwoo fifteen minutes to get to the club you were hiding in the bathroom. Stepping out into the hallway you found him leaning against the wall looking extremely annoyed.

“Thank you,” your voice is timid. You can't help but feel embarrassed that you had to call him to rescue you. You should have just listened to Wonwoo when he asked you not to go out with friends if Sam was invited.

Taking your hand in his, he makes his way across the bar. He drags you up to the one person you don’t want to see. You stand behind him as he glared at your coworker.

“Hello Sam, this is the only warning I’m giving you. Don’t touch and don’t even think about trying to mess with my girlfriend.”

“I won’t even talk to her,” Sam says, stumbling over his words.

Once again your hand is in Wonwoo as he leads you out of the club. Walking up to his car he parked on the street he helped you in before starting the car. He was completely silent as he starts to drive you back to his house.

“Wonwoo I would never cheat on you,” you feel the need to let him know you’re loyal to him.

“You’ve never given me a reason not to trust you,” he finally speaks up.

“Please don’t be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you. I just wish you would have listened to me, when I told you I didn’t like the idea of him hanging out with you tonight,” he lets out a heavy sigh. He keeps his eyes focused on the road ahead. “I wasn’t against Sam hanging out with you because I was jealous. I have nothing to be jealous of. I know you love me and would never cheat on me. I was against it because that guy gave me the creeps.”

Leaning your head against the window you sigh realizing you truly have a poor judgment of people's character.

Arriving at Wonwoo apartment complex he takes your hand leading you upstairs.

“I’m going to take a shower why don’t you get dressed for bed.”

He walks off to the bathroom and you walk over to his dresser to pull out the oversized night shirt you leave here. You strip down to nothing but your thong and the night shirt before walking to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Glancing at the shower you see a very naked Wonwoo washing his hair.

“What are you doing?” He says loudly over the loud water.

“Brushing my teeth,” you attempt to sound innocent as if you weren’t staring at his naked body moments ago.

“Are you going to join me?”

You don’t say anything, you just stare at his naked body as you continue to brush your teeth.

“If you aren’t going to join me, can you be naked in bed when I get out?”

“Okay.” You finish brushing your teeth before walking back into his room.

You strip down completely bare and lay on his bed waiting for him. He walks out of the bathroom with a towel sitting low on his hips.

The sight of him naked almost makes you drool. He pulls off his towel tossing it in the hamper. You immediately notice he’s already hard.

“Thank you for saving me tonight.”

“I’m your boyfriend, it's my job to save you.”

Laying in bed you watched as his curious eyes roamed your naked body. Walking over he laid on the bed next to you and stared into your bright eyes. Your hand rested on his chest as you gently pushed him back. Carefully you moved so your soft body was sitting on his lap looking down at him.

“I’m done talking about what happened at the bar. I just want to fully enjoy my time with you.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

Slowly you dragged your finger across his chest. His bottom lip was captured between his teeth as he continued to watch you. Your finger stopped right where his heart was you and traced a circle as you stared into his dark eyes.

“You own that,” he says softly. You have a feeling this l is his own way of saying he loves you.

His sweet words make your heart race. You have never said those three simple words to each other, even though it was very obvious that you were in love with each other. You were his first serious girlfriend and his first for many things, and he was the first boy you had ever actually loved. For some reason saying those three simple words terrified you.

“I do?” you say resting your hand over his heart.

Slowly he nods. You can tell he’s just as nervous as you are.

“I was hoping to say this with clothes on,” he said with a goofy grin.

You can’t help but let out a soft giggle at his comment. You were both naked and you were sitting on his lap. It wasn’t the most ideal situation to be saying “I love you” for the first time.

“What were you hoping to say?” you ask, attempting to get him to confess his feelings first. You wanted to hear him say those three words.

“You aren’t going to run away if I say them right?” he asked, knowing you all too well.

You shake your head and smile at him.

“I love you,” he says those three sweet words and your heart soars.

Leaning forward you connect your lips to his for a passionate kiss. With your lips ghosting his you say, “I love you too Wonwoo.”

Very little is said from there on. His lips moved against your as his hand moved down to touch the most sensitive part of you. He makes you feel things you weren’t that you had ever experienced before. Sitting on your knees you straddle him, hovering over him you slide down his hardened length. His hands gripped your soft sides as yours rested on his chest. Your eyes stared locked on his as your bodies moved together.

“I love you,” you gasp.

The smile that forms on his face is something you don’t think you’ll ever forget.

It wasn’t long before he pushed over the edge and fell right behind you. Lying on your bed he held you in his arms. Everything between you felt perfect as he held you.

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||။ toji fushiguro x his favorite customer (revision)

✧ summary toji has a little soft spot for his favorite customer that he can't get enough of.

✧ content warnings reader is a black woman who uses she/her pronouns. chubby!reader and inexperienced!reader. rich girl in her midtwenties, very needy! usage of profanity, standing missionary, oral - m!receiving, doggy style, mixture of praise and degradation kink, breeding kink, unprotected, creampie and squirting, terms of endearment ─ pretty girl, princess, baby, baby girl, etc. softdom!toji with rough, passionate, and filthy intercourse. told in first POV ─ toji's. i got reader calling toji TJ, and i think that’s so cute pls.

✧ author's note happy birthday to my baby daddy toji fushiguro! we've been going strong now for years. just a little something something to celebrate him. this fic has been in the drafts since December. talk about black people time, old sksk. also, if you already seen the original of this fic on tumblr, it's mine lol. this is just a revision, so don't go around saying i copied someone! my writing has changed so i wanted to redo this and add some adjustments. i hope y'all enjoy. support me by reblogging, liking, and commenting your thoughts. ♡ AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS AND/OR MINORS - DO NOT INTERACT.

 

 When it comes to women I fuck, I treat them the same because at the end of the day, they pay me good money to stuff their pussy with cock. 

 Don’t really care if they're married either. I usually get the old, desperate broads that aren’t getting any attention from their husbands at home, so it’s my job to make them feel good for the night. 

 I don’t do favorites. 

 I damn sure don’t give discounts. 

 And I definitely don’t get attached. But the moment I met Y/N that all changed. 

 My favorite customer. 

 Never did I expect a younger woman to pay me to get fucked, especially when she looks that good. 

 I’m almost positive she has a line filled with fuckers that’s desperately wanting to know what this tight, wet pussy feels like, yet here I am, living their fantasy. 

 I fucked Y/N once. 

 Then, twice. 

 Then, again.

 And again.

 And again…

 If I didn’t know any better, I’m fucking obsessed with her. Can’t even say it’s just for the money she’s paying me. Probably the best pussy I ever had.

 No. 

 It is. 

 So fucking warm, and she takes dick well, too. I usually give only an hour or two to my customers, but for Y/N? I reserved the whole night to relish her pussy. 

 The perfect fuck to end my day. 

 Those soft, sweet-sounding moans that slipped through her full brown and pink lips, having my previous cum shot staining them had me running wild. 

 But it seems like I’m not the only one who’s sex drunk. 

 Cock is all on Y/N’s mind right now. Whimpering and crying how big I am and thanking me for giving her dick. Tears pricks those chestnut-colored hues and I’m in fucking awe. She’s so damn pretty. 

 “You know how gorgeous you look taking cock like this? Being a good fucking slut for me, princess?” I ask, being met with a nod and her moaning in response. 

 Y/N’s pussy talks to me. Wet noises spreading throughout the room while I have my arms hooked under the fold of her knees, fucking her recklessly to push past any intrusion. 

 She’s jumping with me every thrust I make, causing her tits to bounce obnoxiously. I take one of her nipples into my mouth and suck on them like it’s my last dying breath, hearing that sweet whimper. 

 I belong in Y/N’s pussy, and she belongs to me, too, the way she’s gripping my cock and milking me. All of her cream and wetness drips between us and down my balls, and it feels fucking amazing. Every time I experience her velvet walls, I find myself becoming more animalistic, hungry and territorial over someone who should only be seen as a client. 

 But fuck, something in me says I would go batshit crazy if I ever found out she had other motherfuckers experiencing this. 

 Knowing how she looks when sweat coats her beautiful brown skin. How it feels to stretch her out and make her adjust to you. Just thinking about it makes me pound into her deeper and more aggressively. 

 “Toji, baby, yes. This feels so good,” she purrs. “Like that. Keep fucking me like that.”

 I hum. “Yeah? This is what you wanted, right? Paid me to please this good pussy?”

 By all means, Y/N isn’t a virgin, but she told me she doesn’t have much experience and I can tell by how tight she is. 

 Our sounds of pleasure resonate in the air, and I call her my good girl, praising how perfect her pussy is, to be met with her squeezing me and watery brown eyes. 

 “Toji… Toji… Yes. God, yes.”

 “Keep using your words, pretty girl. Tell me how much you love my dick in your pussy,” I ordered softly.

 “I love it so much. It’s so big, baby,” she tells me, slurring her words because of her lips still being on mine. “You’re going to make me cum.”

 I clicked my tongue, shaking my head. “Not yet. Come taste yourself.”

 Without hesitation, Y/N slides down to her knees and starts sucking my dick. I hiss at her swallowing me and the warmth of her mouth. She doesn’t take her time when sucking me off, immediately circling her head and throating me. 

 “Hot fucking mouth made to suck dick, huh, pretty girl?” I firmly grabbed her chin so she could look at me. “Eyes up, sweetheart. Open up your throat for me like a good girl.” 

 Y/N hollows her cheeks and bobs her head fervently on my dick, tightening her lips around me. 

 She sucks dick so fucking good, better than any other woman I’ve been with. And I just know I’m bound to bust quickly if she keeps doing this shit. 

 My hand finds the back of Y/N’s head to grip and I buck my hips deeper into her mouth, ensuring I hit the back of her throat everytime. I’m a fucking mad man when I begin fucking the gorgeous face, especially when she’s looking up at me with those big brown eyes. 

 A spoiled brat, prim and shy, who’s spending daddy’s money to get fucked and folded by an old bastard like me. Think I fucking developed a kink for this type because of Y/N.

 I pumped into her mouth more aggressively until she began choking and gagging on my cock. Drool and precum coating her mouth in the process. 

 Any type of control Y/N tries to take, I push past it because I want to use that pretty little mouth of hers how I want. She needs to get her money’s worth when fucking with me. 

 “Going to fuck my cum deep down that throat of yours, and you’re going to swallow it. Got that?” She nods and I softly tap the side of her face. “That’s it. Keep those lips tight around me.” 

 “Toji, pl—please,” she slurs, causing me to chuckle. 

 “Hm, look at you. Trying so hard to talk to me while sucking my dick. It’s cute.” I slow down my quick thrusts, but replace them with more fervent ones, pushing me and her head down until my cock outlines her throat. 

 My balls grow heavy and obnoxiously slaps Y/N’s chin, a clear indication I’m about to fucking cum. 

 Grunting, whining, gasping like a little bitch for air because head like this has a fucker like me sounding like a broken mess. 

 Blood rushes to my groin and I start getting sloppy, feeling my muscles tightening and ache burning between my thighs. I’m close, so fucking close to filling her mouth with my release, then I can finish fucking that fat pussy. 

 Everything about this damn woman is perfect. Her pussy. How she sucks cock. That fucking chubby and curvy body of hers. A pretty face with loaded cash.

 Yeah, she’s definitely mine after tonight. And I’m talking about anything lovey dovey. Meaning if I catch her being a slut like this to anyone else, I’d kill that fucker. 

 No hesitation. I-

 “Y/N, fuck!” I grunt while cumming in her mouth. This load is fucking heavy, but she’s trying her best to swallow every drop. 

 I groan at the sight of Y/N touching her tits and palming her pussy, knowing how much she’s turned on, too. It’s like the vibrations of her moans pulls more cum out my fucking dick.

 A mess I made on her face, but the joyful lust I see in her eyes tells me she doesn’t give a damn. 

 Good, because I’m not finished with her. 

 “All fours on the bed. Now,” I demanded. “Still gotta fill up your pussy.”

 Perfection is what I think when I see Y/N from behind, arched back, ass in the air and pussy dripping, ready for me to fuck. 

 I force an arch in her back and plunge my cock in her tight little pussy with one deep stroke. Y/N gasps in the air and I take the opportunity to pull her up by the throat and start pounding her cunt. 

 Why the fuck is she so goddamn wet? She takes cock well, bud shit, I abruptly slip out each and every thrust. 

 “Keep me inside that pussy, baby girl. Stop fucking letting go,” I gritted in her ear. She reaches behind her to hold my dick and push back into me with a tighter grip. “Hm, just like that. So fucking good to me, aren’t you?”

 “I need more dick, TJ. Fuck me harder, baby. I can take you,” she moans. 

 Begging for cock she’s already paying for… Shit, I get a kick out of how pathetically sexy she sounds. 

 I repeatedly slammed into her wet cunt, thrust after thrust, pussy creaming even further than before. If it’s one thing I can listen to for the rest of my life, it’s how Y/N sounds when she’s being fucked. 

 My name drips perfectly from her lips.

 Our skin smacking fills the air in the room along my hand striking her ass until I guarantee it’ll bruise in the morning. 

 “Look at this fat ass moving when I pound into this pussy. Fucking beautiful,” I growled.

 “Toji, please. I… I don’t care how much… I’ll pay more. Just keep fucking me like this.”

 I chuckle. “Atta girl.”

 I see why motherfuckers catch feelings when fucking pussy. I almost feel tempted to tell Y/N that I love her while fucking her. She has pussy that’ll make a fucker crazy… Possessive… Jealous.

 I applied more pressure to Y/N’s throat and pulled her against my chest. “You know who this pussy belongs to. Right, princess?”

 “God, yes, Toji. You… it belongs to you.” Her voice comes off as a faint cry and I know she’s on the verge of cumming. Especially with how her pussy is pulsating around me. 

 “Mhm, that’s right. Dreamed of my fucking dick pounding this tight little cunt, now I have you mindfucked. Huh?” I pinch her nipples with my free hand and increase my thrusts. “You’re about to come for me. Aren’t you, Y/N? I know you are. I can feel it. You should see the mess your slutty pussy is making between us.”

 “Fuck, I didn’t mean to, baby. It’s just… you feel good. So fucking good,” she whimpers, bouncing her ass back into me to meet with my thrusts. 

 “Maybe I should have you clean it with your mouth. Hm?”

 I release Y/N’s throat to shove her face into the bed and deepen her arch more than before. My single hand returns to her hips to grip, pulling her round ass back on my cock to kiss her center. 

 Can’t get over how wet—how tight and warm this fucking pussy is. The harder I fuck her, the louder her pussy gets and I grunt, curse underneath my breath at hearing the sound of her muffled moans. 

 I don’t give a fuck if one of us catches feelings after this. Actually, I want her to. I want Y/N to be dick hungry only for me. 

 I want her pussy to smell like I’m the only fucker that’s been running through her. I’m even fucking tempted to breed this pussy just so she’s mine.

 Why the fuck would I want to have sex with any other women after knowing what Y/N feels like? 

 “You take cock like a fucking pro. Look at you gripping me. Look at how this pussy is mine.”

 She spreads her ass cheeks to feel every inch of my dick. “Fuck me, Toji. Harder. Fuck me harder, I’m about to cum.”

 “Shit, me too, sweetheart. Such a perfect fuck toy. Going to fill you all the way up,” I rasped. “Fuck me back. Keep taking this dick.”

 My thrusts are sloppy. I throw my head back and swear into the air and moan her name. My balls grow heavier and heavier until I fucking but and empty my cum inside her pussy. 

 And she’s right there with me, crying my name and thanking me for giving her toe-curling orgasm. 

 Fucking enjoy hearing my pretty girl thank me for giving her cock. She just looks so damn pretty when she cums, too. 

 Dark brown skin sweating. The sight of her ruined makeup with mascara running down her cheeks. Moans sounding like a broken record. 

 Yeah, she’s a perfect fuck. 

 My favorite customer. 

© 2024 tojiscumdumpster Do NOT copy, translate, plagiarize, repost (sharing links is okay) anywhere. I only upload on tumblr and you will find some of my work in ao3.

[yanderefarm]

Ok there's vampire ares, but what about vampire or even pet Achilles, sadistic vampire reader who holds very popular "parties" where all the guests drink, have sex, and watch reader torture humans and vampires alike, maybe even add a casino element with people placing bets on who will scream loudest, last the longest without passing out, etc

cw;; blood drinking, blood, dehumanization, torture, needles, drugs

i was possessed to write this. i love this whole concept so much.

some vampires are kind to humans, they remember their own humanity and treat humans with care like domestic animals. some vampires have either forgotten or abandoned their original humanity in favour of making the weak suffer. and with modern technologies it's easier to push these humans to the absolute breaking point.

you're not so cruel as to hate humans, they make you money and entertain you after all, but you do enjoy hearing a human's will break. that's why you have your nightclub, an underground place where deranged perverts go to torture humans. human pets who were abandoned, human uprising activists, a greedy blood bank employee, a misbehaving human cattle, anything you wanted could be found right here. it was a demon's slice of heaven and the humans pit of hell.

you were enjoying the screams of the damned from your vip seat, blood wine in hand and two of the most sadistic female vampires you knew on your arms. they knew staying near you would mean they got a taste of the best humans to break. one of your usual suppliers approached your seat with 3 humans following behind him. two of them were clearly pets, numbers written on their faces to signify lot numbers, while the third and most beautiful wasn't marked or scarred he looked out of place.

"this was their last day on the auction. no one wants em so-"

"what about him."

the other vampire looks back at the pretty boy and sighs.

"he's a return. his owner complained he doesn't talk, doesn't scream, doesn't even get afraid."

your eyebrow raised in curiosity. you took his chain from the man, yanking the beautiful man closer to you.

"what's your name?"

"i told you he doesn't talk, sir. dunno how mu-"

"achilles."

his pretty voice was like honey. your supplier looked at him shocked while a smirk crossed your lips. you sat up fully intrigued by your new beautiful guest.

"achilles~ how come you're here and not being pampered and adored by one of the nice guys?"

"because I'm too beautiful to waste on them."

you laughed at that, the other vampires sheepishly joining in. as your laughter died you pulled him down to your level by his chain. your cold fingers gently brushed some of his pretty red curls out of his face.

"is that what the one who abandoned you said? or do you really believe it?"

it was amusing how naturally his stoic face leaned into your gentle touch.

"he told me that. he also said beautiful things, like me, look best when we're screaming and crying."

as if to punctuate his cold delivery you could hear a harsh thwack followed by a human's sobbing screams. you ran your thumb over his soft skin down to his pretty lips.

"that's why you didn't scream for him right? wouldn't make a noise, wouldn't cry. no, not you. you won't let these sick vampire bastards win. am i close?"

"i need to get home to my family. nothing he did to me was so unbearable that i couldn't endure for them."

your sadistic smirk turned to a genuine smile as you looked him over.

"... I'll make you a deal. you show me your worth and I'll protect your family."

he remained quiet contemplating it for a minute.

"if my worth is screaming and being in pain i don't know how well i can preform."

you let out a huff in amusement.

"don't worry I'll take care of your suffering if you agree to this."

"i would like to talk more about the terms but i just have to prove to you i have some value? is that correct?"

"that's correct."

"will any value be sufficient even if it's not what you're picturing?"

"hmmm... yes. even if your only value is your blood or your good looks. i still hope you'll endeavor to show me more than that, though."

"so i succeed by simply agreeing. you just hope to motivate me to be pushed to the edge?"

"yes. that's right. so, do you agree?"

"i agree."

you paid the supplier for all three of them, leaving the lesser two to the female vampires by your side. they both went about feeding on their new toys first while you sat achilles in your lap.

after a short while of just sitting there a waiter came up to you with a silver platter. in the middle of the platter was a syringe filled with a hot pink liquid. achilles eyed it, clearly intimidated by the sight but there was nothing he could do to stop you from picking it up. your other hand grabbed his jaw roughly, forcing his lips to purse.

"open."

he hesitated before he opened his mouth.

"tongue out."

his pretty wet tongue slipped out of his mouth giving him a slutty look there in your hands. pretty boy. you released his jaw but he kept his mouth open like a good boy. you tapped the syringe twice before bringing the sharp tip to his outstretched tongue. you didn't hesitate even as he flinched, plunging the whole thing into his tongue.

one of the girls looked at you both with wide eyes. "the whole thing??"

you gently removed the needle and placed it back on the silver platter, dismissing the waiter.

"what was it...?"

"if he's going to be amusing he'll need the whole thing. now get up and strip."

achilles hesitated again, his body actually frozen as he stood there brow furrowed. you let out a heavy sigh and began to unbutton his shirt.

"what... was it...?"

"it was something that will make you feel good. it makes your whole body sensitive."

you pulled his shirt down over his shoulders and discarded it to the side.

"is it dangerous to use all of it..."

"no. it'll just hit you really hard. it's ok, I'll take care of you but you do need to do exactly as I say. now take your pants off."

he stood up doing as you ordered with his cold face. he went to sit in your lap again but instead you lead him to the side of the couch and told him to stand there with his hands behind his back. he could feel everyone in the club staring at his naked body and you noticed his soft cock twitch slightly. you smirked before giving him a quick kiss and returning to your seat.

it took about 20 minutes before you finally heard a sound from achilles. you'd just been sharing one of the other pets, indulging in the free blood, when you heard the softest sluttiest whimper you've ever heard. you looked over to see your forgotten game with his entire body flushed and his cock stiff and leaking. he was clearly trying to stand still but even the slightest bit of breeze made him squirm and flinch. your eyes widened and your hunger that had been successfully satisfied so far tonight was like a fresh tidal wave. you needed to sink your fangs into him. you needed him screaming.

you got up abandoning everything too transfixed on your pretty toy to care. your breath was hitched when you reached inches from his wanting body, your fingers hovered over his skin. he looked over at you his stoic face now red and his eyes had hearts in them. he was like a masterpiece of want and desire you didn't even want to touch him for fear of ruining his perfect body. you hesitantly ran your fingers over his soft pink lips and a sultry moan flowed from his lips like honey.

everyone in the club was staring at you both now. everyone wanted this pretty piece of ass. you felt an odd twinge of jealousy and possessiveness strike. you pulled your hand away from your toy's lips instead grabbing his wrist roughly. god he let out another slutty moan. you couldn't stand that everyone could hear him. you started dragging him forcefully to your private room. as you did you noticed his feet struggling to keep up with your quick steps. you surprised yourself when you slowed down and matched his pace.

god you were already whipped for this pretty human.

as soon as you were in the private room you shoved him into the door, your mouth swallowing his slutty moans with a passionate kiss. his whole sensitive body twitched and jerked as his cock spilled cum onto his stomach. fuck. you pulled away to look at his mess leaving him gasping for air. he looked down as he tried to compose himself and the sight of his stomach covered in cum made him whimper. fuck.

you slammed your hand over his mouth hitting his head against the door.

"you're gonna fucking scream."

[sxcret-garden]

Haechan ღ Painted with You [M]

ღ NCT Dream Haechan x fem!reader ღ feat.: short mentions of Renjun & Jeno ღ words: ~15k ღ genre: college AU, fwb to lovers, exes to lovers, fluff, slice of life, slow burn, pining, reader is a little dense, angst, humor, smut (switch!Haechan (but sub-leaning), oral (both receiving), hair pulling (idol receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some begging, fingering, handjob, edging, orgasm denial (idol receiving), dry humping) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, depiction of anxiety and reader feeling burnt out, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms

Desc.: You and Donghyuck were a couple back in high school, each having your own reasons for dating the other, but ultimately what you seeked out in each other was a distraction. Now that you meet again five years later, you both come to realize that the connection between you is still there, and eventually it’s crystal clear that the people you’ve become won’t be as easily separated as back then.

Author's note: aaaa I've had this in my drafts for sooo long avoiding to proofread it cause I wasn't happy with this at all... so now I finally came back to it to edit a bit and I think in the end it turned out quite okay^^ I hope you guys like it 🫶

There’s a hint of victory in the smile he gives you when you sit down next to him. Like he knew it would come to this - that you’d get bored of exchanging mundanities with the others and eventually find yourself drawn to him as your only escape. And it’s not like you didn’t know it too, it was clear from the moment you greeted each other with a hug that lasted shorter than it should have, and at the same time felt more familiar than you wanted it to. Yet his stance is inviting as he turns his whole body towards you in his seat, and the curiousity in his eyes is apparent.

“Long time no see,” he says, and it comes out softer than you would’ve expected it to. And he probably had the same thought, because he’s clearing his throat now, talking more firmly as he continues, “What have you been up to?” The last time you’ve seen each other was at your high school graduation ceremony, and since then it’s been almost five years. Which, as your former class president Renjun had decided, was about enough time to gather for a reunion. 

“Well, you know. This and that,” you try to avoid an answer, but of course he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. He knows you too well for that.

“Come on,” he snorts. “You can tell me. My time wasn’t spent in a purely productive manner either.”

“You probably spent about 3 years total on just playing video games…” you say with a grin playing on your lips, and you make him huff in disbelief, before his expression as well returns to a somewhat mischievous smile. 

“Now that was just tactless,” he says, straightening his back now. “I quit uni to go to work, and then started again with a different major. So now I’m a freshman!” He gives you a peace sign with his hand, sounding a lot prouder about the fact than he should’ve been.

“Feeling like 19 again?” you joke.

“Yes! Everyone automatically assumes I’m their age,” he explains. “But then I tell them I’m older, so I can make them work for me!” An exaggeratedly mischievous laugh follows, and you can only shake your head at his shenanigans.

“You haven’t changed at all,” you say, turning away and facing the bartender working just a few seats away. Originally you were all going out for dinner and nothing more, but when some girls suggested paying a nearby bar a visit, nobody could refuse in the face of getting some booze into their veins. Maybe you aren’t the only one who’s getting fucked over by life.

“One margarita,” you raise your hand and order, then you add, directed at Donghyuck, “Anything for you?”

“Just soju.” And so after placing both your orders, he adds, “Still can’t drink the adult drinks?”

“Excuse you, it has alcohol in it, so it is an adult drink. But if you’re asking if I still hate bitter stuff - yes I do.”

“I see… anyway, I’m not letting you get away without properly answering my question.”

“Too bad,” you respond. “Well…” And then you hesitate. You remember what it was like between the two of you in high school. When you were dating, each for your own reasons and certainly not because you had feelings for each other. But he still felt like a friend you could entrust your deepest feelings with - you knew each other like the back of your own hand. And yet, you find yourself hesitating in the face of five years passed by without a word from the other. It wasn’t like you had a fight or broke up on bad terms. It’s just that you both agreed it would be better not to see each other again, for reasons that seemed smart at the time. But now that you’re looking at the person he’s become and how much he seems to have grown up, you’re not sure anymore what those reasons even were.

“That bad?” Donghyuck interrupts your train of thought as he raises an eyebrow at you, and when you shake your head a short laugh escapes him.

“No, just… I’m also still in university,” you say. “I had to take a year off, so I’m trying to finish everything now. It’s not going great though.”

“Oh…” he looks away, directing his gaze at his hands that he’s hiding in the sleeves of his knitted sweater. “Are you managing though?” And that’s when you suddenly feel the past and the present connect - the way he immediately becomes serious when the situation calls for it, just like he has always done, makes you feel safe to keep speaking, and to keep your heart open, just for a bit.

“It’s… difficult,” you admit. The bartender sets down your ordered drinks, causing another pause, and you acknowledge it with a nod. “I’m trying not to do too much, but you know what’s it like living here.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That fucked you over before, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You fall silent after that, but not for long. Your conversation partner is Donghyuck after all, he wouldn’t let an awkward silence get too long.

“I have changed… by the way.” You raise your eyebrows at him as he speaks those words, letting the sip of your cocktail slowly trickle down your throat.

“Have you?” you ask. “Well, I mean… you’ve grown up.”

“Oh?” Suddenly seeing him straightening his back as he’s overjoyed, you can’t but giggle at the way his face is graced with a beaming smile now, but he glosses it over with a cough and a sip of his soju.

“But you sure are still the same guy,” you add, a nostalgic smile on your lips. 

“I guess,” he agrees, his features softening. Another pause falls upon you as you give your cocktail another taste, and this time it’s you who breaks the silence. Continuously chatting, you’re starting to feel a little tipsy from the sweet beverage after a while.

“I heard you got a girlfriend?” Donghyuck huffs, a wide smile meant to hide a bitter feeling appearing on his face.

“Yeah…”

“What about her?” you pry, sensing something off.

“Dumped me,” he simply says, then pointing across the room and at Jeno, one of your former classmates. “For that guy.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s whatever,” he shrugs it off, pouring himself another glass and offering the shot to you instead. “You sure you don’t want any?”

“I’d rather have my own drink, thanks.”

“Alright. Then cheers.” He downs the shot, grimacing at the taste, and when he sets the glass back down, he adds, “I don’t get why she went for him anyway. I bet it’s cause of all that muscle he got.” You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you hit his upper arm playfully.

“You should hit the gym too and then see if you can get her back.”

“Very funny,” he replies dryly. “I’d rather die.”

“Understandable…” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as well. “So… you’re probably glad I finally came to you.” Donghyuck shoots you a questioning look and you explain yourself. “For a distraction. Like in the old days, you know?”

“Ahh…” He merely lets out a sound, before staring at his empty shot glass. 

“You’re not doing that anymore?” you assume.

“I guess.”

“Yeah… me too,” you say. “Or like… I stopped using people for it.”

You were dating back then, that’s true, but you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves high school sweethearts. You were both going through some stuff - for him it was a breakup with his first love, for you it was just life itself. When you were both at your lowest you started talking properly, and it soon became clear that you both wanted nothing more than to escape. And so you formed an alliance - as you used to call it, to everyone else you simply said that you were a couple now. You did behave like a couple, but just for the rush. The first time you held his hand you felt nothing, but when you made out secretly in the backyard of your school instead of attending class, that’s when you were overwhelmed with excitement. It was a stupid idea, you know that now too, and it only worked for so long. You spent the summer of your junior year together, meeting up almost every day and talking, and eventually distracting yourselves by making out secretly in your or his room. And then your final year came, and as you started seeing yourselves forced to take life a bit more seriously, you gradually met up less, until you both agreed that breaking up would be the best decision, so that you could focus on your studies and try to get into a good university. At least for your part, you still have mixed feelings when you remember that day. Because you know you made the adult decision, but at the same time you always end up thinking back to what fooling around with him felt like when you have a bad day now, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it at least a bit. But you found other distractions - obsessing over tv series, finding just the perfect kind of music to drown out your feelings, and sometimes, whenever you could find a good excuse to drink with friends, alcohol. Though you’re being careful with the latter, just as you are now. One drink is usually enough to help you relax a bit and not pay all the things stressing you out so much thought.

“So when are we gonna start writing your redemption arc?” you ask nonchalantly, and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Your ex.”

“Stop that, for real,” he says, and the way he remains serious tells you your joke wasn’t well received.

“Sorry,” you utter.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” He’s playing with the glass in his hands, thumb rubbing along its edge as he keeps staring at it, and you take the last few sips of your drink, before you too start spinning the cocktail glass around between your fingers.

“Actually…” Donghyuck speaks up, now throwing you an entirely different look. “How about we get out of here. Maybe we could both use a distraction after all.”

“But-”

“Just for today.” You stare at him blankly, blinking once, twice, then a third time. This sounds like a bad idea, but at the same time you know you’re probably not gonna see each other for the next five years, just like it was for the past five. So what would be so bad about taking his offer now?

“Alright,” you say eventually, having made up your mind. “My place? It’s nearby.” His lips are parted slightly as he watches you jump out of your seat and put on your jacket. As the air around you changes, so does the look in his eyes, and a moment later he gets up too, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist while he holds the door open for you as he walks you out of the place.

“You really have changed,” you comment as you’re sneaking out, so none of the others would notice, and you giggle at your unnecessary secrecy once you’re past the entrance to the building.

“I can be a gentleman too!” he insists. “Of course a high school boy wouldn’t think of that.” You catch the pout that forms on his lips as he adds the last part, and you inevitably laugh, pointing at his face.

“But you’re also really still the same.”

You decide on going to your place, as it’s nearby, and you take a taxi there. Though you know this is only going to be a one time thing, neither of you seems to be in a rush. You take the elevator to the sixth floor, grinning at each other in silence the entire ride - maybe because this reminds the both of you a bit too much of the way you used to sneak off together all the time back in school. But once you arrive at your apartment, the atmosphere between you somehow changes, and as you’re walking over to your little kitchen to offer him a drink, he stops you, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch is firm now, and he comes to a halt when he’s standing right in front of you, closer than a friend would, but leaving more distance between you than a lover would, and keeping his voice lowered, he asks,

“So… are we going to go right to the distraction part? Or do we need to pretend that we still need to warm up to each other first?” You find him staring at your lips, then returning his gaze to your eyes as he waits patiently for your response. And you don’t manage to come up with anything smart to say to him, so you simply take a step forward, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, and you kiss him. His lips feel soft, just like you remember them, melting against yours perfectly. Yet there’s a firmness to his kiss that feels new to you. He used to always kiss you with eagerness, too much of it at times, impatient to feel more of you and for you to take control. It was no secret between you two that he actually quite enjoyed being put into his place by you, and now that there’s no such intentions apparent behind the way he moves his lips against yours, you find yourself having your breath taken away by the time you part. 

“You really did grow up well…” you mutter, barely an inch apart. “Did your ex teach you to kiss like that?” 

“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he mutters darkly, another side of him that’s not exactly new to you, but one that you haven’t seen a lot in the past. And then he simply brushes his lips against yours again, softly and with care, quite in contrast to his sharp words. “I don’t wanna ruin this with thoughts about people I don’t know anymore.”

“Right…” you whisper, and before you can add a mumbled apology, he presses his lips to yours again. In between short kisses that inevitably leave you longing for more, he steers you closer to the wall behind you, until he has you trapped against it. Your shoulders meet the cold surface gently, and as you’re slowly getting to know this different side of him, you feel yourself being swept off your feet like he never knew how to. 

One of his hands resting on your waist, his fingertips creep towards your hip as you’re sharing an open mouthed kiss. A moan escapes you when he presses you up against the wall closer, and as he slowly parts from you, you can see the playful grin showing on his face now.

“You changed too,” he comments, and again he closes the distance between you without giving you a chance to question his words. Your hands finding their way up into his short hair, your fingers get tangled with the strands and you carefully tug at them as he deepens this kiss as well. He’s kissing you slowly as you let him have the lead naturally, and as you keep making out like this, you eventually find yourself burning up whole under his touch. He moves from your mouth to your neck eventually, and you lean your head back with a deep sigh as he begins scattering hot kisses all over the area. His hand that’s been propped up against the wall now finds the back of your nape to support you, and when he comes back up, he whispers a question,

“Do we keep going like we used to? Or do you wanna go all the way this time?” Drunk on his kisses, you pull him in for another one on the mouth, and as you part you mutter,

“We’re not kids anymore. Let’s go all the way.” You step aside and he lets you, and you reach for his hands to walk him over to your couch. Giving him a push, he lets himself fall back onto the sofa, leaning against the backrest as his curious gaze never leaves you. “Don’t need this anymore…” you mumble as you pull off your shirt and throw it somewhere onto the ground, and then you crawl into his lap to straddle him. His hands find purchase on your hips immediately as he looks up at you with warm eyes. You cup his face in your hands and you lean in, capturing his lips in a teasing kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, you lure a breathy moan out of him, and wanting to hear more, you keep kissing him like that. Feathery touches that would for sure make him want more eventually become overshadowed by you rolling his hips on top of him, and with each time he lets you hear his voice you become more eager. It’s almost as if you’ve become the one who can’t wait, and he’s the one acting with patience.

“Never knew you could turn me on this much,” he mutters as you pull back, moving your hips at a leisurely pace. You can undoubtedly feel the bulge in his pants, and it’s certainly not leaving you unaffected.

“I grew up too, Hyuck,” you say, and then you bury your face in his neck. You kiss a trail up to the spot right below his ear as he leans back, and his hands wander up your sides and to your back when you start nibbling on his skin. 

“Mhm… you did, hm?” he answers. He finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, and as the piece of clothing slides down your arms, you sit back so he can take it off you and fling it to the ground as well, somewhere in the general direction of where your shirt should be. He holds onto your sides as he takes in the sight in front of him, and as he draws closer to connect his lips to the skin on your chest, you can hear him saying,

“I know I never told you this as a boy but you look beautiful. I really regret not saying that to you.” He kisses his way up from the valley of your breasts to your throat and then back to your mouth, and just before he can connect his lips to yours, you whisper,

“It’s fine. I might’ve actually fallen for you if you had done that.” You laugh, and he does too, but his grin has a different meaning to it than yours.

“Don’t say that. We don’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” Connecting his lips to yours, he runs his tongue across them to ask for permission to enter, and without protest you let him deepen the kiss.

“Now you’re the one who said it,” you mumble a response in between kisses. “That’s a stupid thought anyway.”

“Right.” His fingertips dance south along your spine, and he eventually tugs at your pants as a sign that he wants those off as well. And so you peel yourself out of his hold, and while you’re discarding your jeans, he slips out of his shirt, and both clothing items land somewhere on the floor, soon to be forgotten. He makes you lie down flat on the couch as he crawls on top of you, and when he leaves a trail of small kisses up your torso, one of his hands finds its way to your hips, thumb hooking under the fabric of your panties.

“These too,” he says. “I want these off too.” You give him the okay to take them off as you comb your fingers through his hair once, and as soon as he’s gotten rid of the last piece of clothing on your body, he lowers himself to let his lips draw a map of your figure. Feeling his warm hands against your sides, you let out a sigh as you lean your head back and you close your eyes for a bit, just enjoying the way his kisses feel against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair again, and you find yourself massaging his scalp as he’s slowly going down on you. You let him lift your legs up onto his shoulders eventually, and when he buries his face between your legs, you can’t but let out a small moan. Tongue lapping at your folds, he hums at your taste, and then he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently. 

“That feel good?” he asks, slurring his words a bit, and you nod, tugging at the strands of hair between your fingers.

“Yeah. Keep going…” And so he does, alternating between teasing you with his lips and the tip of his tongue, and when he retrieves one hand to slide his fingers inside you, he comments,

“So wet for me, hm?”

“Y-yeah…” You can unmistakably feel the knot in your stomach being tied tighter with every single touch of his, and when he pumps his fingers in and out of you at a frustratingly slow pace, you find yourself begging for more. “Faster… p-please…” Donghyuck simply hums at your plea, before he obliges, curling his fingers inside you just a little faster. Gradually picking up on speed, the way he flicks his tongue against your clit along with the waves of pleasure that run through your body with each time he hits that sweet spot inside you make you slowly lose your mind, and you let him know just how good he’s making you feel by moaning in tune with his movements.

“Don’t stop… please don’t stop…” you mewl as you look down on yourself to find him already gazing back up at you, observing all of your reactions closely through half-lidded eyes. Just a few more repetitions and he’s throwing you over the edge, making you clench around his fingers as you throw your head back with a moan. “Fuck…” you mutter after he pulls out of you carefully, and he crawls back up to kiss you on the lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue as you share a lazy kiss, and once you part, you place your palms on his chest to push him off you.

“Your turn,” you simply state as you sit up and you make some space so you can comfortably kneel in front of the sofa. Getting the message, he hurriedly rids himself of his pants and boxers, and when he sits down in front of you, you don’t waste another second to wrap your fingers around his length. Giving him a few strokes, he’s fully hard in no time, and he watches as he leans back, enjoying the attention.

“You really have no patience anymore, huh,” he mutters, and you lick your lips before returning his gaze.

“Want me to torture you a bit? Make you beg for it? I can do that too.”

“I can beg if you want me to,” he retorts, the confident expression not being wiped off his face so easily, and you decide to keep that piece of information in mind. Just in case. But for now you’re not planning on making him wait - he’s right, you’ve become impatient, and you’re dying to know what kind of sounds you might lure out of him with his dick in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times, watching him part his lips slightly as he lets you hear a deep sigh and a praise directed at you. “That’s right…” he mutters, and when you take his tip into your mouth fully, he lets you hear a moan so sweet, you swear you could cum just from the sound of it. Slowly bobbing your head up and down and having your hand that’s wrapped around his base follow those same movements, you enjoy the way he keeps moaning at your ministrations, until eventually you hum in approval and he whines from the pleasure.

“Fuck…” A curse escapes him when his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, and you find yourself amused at how easy it is to make a guy whine as soon as you have him in a position like this. You go painfully slow, but he takes all of your teasing, and just when you start feeling bad for him because of how desperate his moans are, you speed up, making sure to take him in as far as you can. 

“Shit, Y/N…” he calls out to you. “Wait-”

“Hm?” You come up at his words, letting him slip out of your mouth.

“Wanna cum in your pussy…” The request makes you grin.

“So demanding…” you mutter, shooting him a challenging look.

“Please…” he tries to convince you, his pupils shaking as he’s awaiting your answer. But you’ve already made up your mind on how you’re going to proceed, and so you merely throw him a grin, before taking him back into your mouth. He throws his head back at you sucking him off at a faster pace now, probably in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, and as more curses fall from his lips along with your name, you know he’s close. You hum at his desperation and at the way he’s twitching in your hand while he’s bucking his hips up into your touch, and the next time you’re sinking all the way down on him, he cums with a moan. You try to swallow everything as he releases into your mouth, and when you let go of him you lick your lips to get the rest of it too, all while he watches with a hazy mind. And then you crawl into his lap, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of his throat, and eventually you say,

“Why not both?” You grab his face in one hand, gaze falling to his lips, and before he can say anything you kiss him to cut off his train of thought. “We have so much time tonight…” you mutter against his lips in between kisses, and he merely lets out small moans at your words. “We can do all the things we want. But let’s move somewhere more comfortable first.” And so you hurriedly walk over to your bedroom, Donghyuck pushing you against the mattress as soon as you’re there, and he doesn’t waste a single second to kiss you again. His lips nipping at your collarbones, you throw your arms around him, until finally you switch positions again, and you end up sitting on top of him, sinking down on his hard cock and biting your lower lip from how good it feels to be filled up like this.

“Fuck…” Now it’s you who’s cursing, fingers intertwined with his as you’re pinning his hands down to keep yourself stable. You know he’s drinking up the sight in front of him as you start slowly riding him, and the way he looks at you only turns you on more. 

“Shit, you look so pretty like this…” he mumbles, completely taken aback, and he sits up, freeing his hands to hold onto your sides instead. “Can I kiss you?”

“You’re asking that now?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he lets out a short laugh as he too realizes how ridiculous his question was.

“You’re right,” he mutters, leaning in. “Then I’ll just kiss you whenever I want.” A rush of heat courses through your body as he presses his lips against yours, and you roll your hips on top of him just a little faster.

“Please do,” you whisper, barely audible, before Donghyuck closes the distance between you again. You take your time making out, until both of you feel that you’re coming close again, and with one hand between your bodies, he starts rubbing your clit for you as you keep your pace.

“I’ll help you,” he whispers, unable to take his eyes off your face as you’re both completely drunk on the other’s touches.

“Mhm…” you moan, chasing your own high on top of him. You’re the first one who comes undone, digging your nails into his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck as your high shakes you.

“Don’t stop, Y/N…” His words sound desperate, and you do your best to keep moving despite feeling the overstimulation building up. He has both his hands on your back now, and you let out a moan when you feel him dragging his nails down to your hips. “Shit…!” Spitting out a curse, he releases inside you, and finally you come to a halt. You stay in your positions for a while, waiting until your heartbeats have returned to a normal pace in each other’s arms, before you both lie down side by side, out of breath and grinning at the other.

“Didn’t think you’d get that good without me…” he mutters a comment.

“Hey!” you shout playfully. “What was I supposed to do if you just disappear on me like that?”

“You didn’t contact me either,” he tries to defend himself, but you both know it was him who stopped replying to your messages, even though your conversations were already scarce after graduating. For now you decide to say nothing - your mind filled with bliss from what your night out ended up turning into, you wouldn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, he’s the one to break the silence.

“Wanna keep going?” he asks, scooting over closer to you and making you lie flat on your back, kissing a trail down your jawline and placing a hand on top of your stomach. “I wanna keep going,” he adds, more silently, as his fingers are already wandering south.

“Alright,” you mutter, your hand up in his hair again as he drags his fingers down your folds, dipping inside once and then coming back up to your clit to draw circles onto it. “If I walk weird tomorrow it’s your fault,” you add, laughing.

“You just made me wanna see that,” he jokes back, before pressing a kiss to the side of your throat and letting his fingers take care of you.

You keep in touch after that, texting each other throughout the day - even on those days where you barely find the time or energy to be social, you’ll at least send some memes back and forth - and meeting up whenever you both have some free time. It really feels like you’re continuing right where you had left off five years ago whenever you find yourselves unable to stop laughing because of your own bickering, or when you’re sitting side by side, having a more serious conversation and simply offering an open ear to the other. And at the same time something about the way you treat each other has undoubtedly changed. Of course you both grew up and you’re more mature than you were as high school students, but it seems there’s something else lingering in the air during every interaction you have, you just can’t really put your finger on what that is. 

You also keep meeting up to have sex. 

“So? What does that make us?” you ask a question into the dimly lit room, staring up at the ceiling. You’re both lying side by side on his bed, the sheets beneath you messed up as evidence of what you’ve been doing, and the chilly air in the room hitting your skin lets you cool down a bit.

“What? This?” Donghyuck asks, turning his head so he could look at you.

“Yeah,” you respond. “We’re not just friends if we’re constantly hooking up, are we?” Your words are accompanied by a chuckle, meant to tell him that you’re not being as serious as you sound. Or maybe you are, but mostly because your other friends keep asking where you’re sneaking off so frequently these days, and why you don’t seem to have the time to meet up with them anymore. And everytime you tell them you’re seeing a different friend, a part of you feels like you’re lying. Maybe that’s because they’ve stopped believing you too, and they keep urging you on to finally admit that you’re dating someone. But you’re not dating Donghyuck, right?

“Fuckbuddies?” He rolls onto his side, head supported by his hand, and he gives you a mischievous look.

“I guess,” you say, and after some consideration you add, “My friends keep asking who I’m meeting all the time. They think I have a boyfriend.”

“Well, what does it feel like when you kiss me?” You’re too stunned to speak for a moment, not expecting him to pose such a serious question.

“I mean… you’re a good kisser?” You grin at him, rolling onto your side as well so you could face him, and as you’re drawing near, he’s already reaching out to capture your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“That’s all?”

“I think so.” He lets his lips brush against yours, puffy and reddened from making out earlier, and you feel warmth wrap around you. You also feel safe with him, but that’s not exclusively related to him kissing you, so you don’t feel the need to mention it.

“Then I can’t be your boyfriend,” he mutters when you part.

“So friends… with benefits then?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, great,” you say, letting yourself fall onto your back, sinking into the mattress. “I can’t go around telling my friends that I’m seeing a fuckbuddy.” Your friend giggles beside you.

“I mean you don’t have to,” he says. “If it’s easier to explain, you can just pretend you’re seeing a boyfriend. I don’t mind.”

“I wonder…” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “Then they’ll want to meet you, so… anyway.” You sit up, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. “I’m kinda hungry. You wanna order something?”

“I’ll make us some ramen. But we should shower first.” He sits up as well, and when you throw him a look over your shoulder, he cocks his head to the side, giving you another grin. “Together?” You laugh at his suggestion.

“You just want another round in there, don’t you? We’re never gonna get food in that case. I’m going alone.”

“Awww…” he whines in defeat and it makes you smile. You crawl closer to him, placing a peck onto his pouting lips.

“We kiss an awful lot for fuckbuddies, though,” you remark, and then you get up.

“I don’t think we’re kissing nearly enough…” he mumbles an answer. Amused by his words, you shoot him another glance, and then you trot off to the bathroom. 

“You free Friday night?” You glance at your phone screen when it lights up to quickly read Donghyuck’s message that you just received, and as you let out a sigh, you return your focus to the notebook in front of you. Skimming through your handwritten notes from the lecture you visited every wednesday afternoon a year ago still gives you anxiety - you’re not sure what more you’re supposed to study than this and the materials displayed on your laptop screen, and yet you don’t feel nearly prepared enough. You’re in your last semester - or at least you’re planning for this to be the last one - and you finally forced yourself to register for the exam you keep postponing because you horribly failed it the first time. The worst part is that it’s an oral exam, so no turning back once you’ve answered (or not answered) a question, even if a better response comes to you later on during the exam. And you hate that, because you know your brain tends to black out in stressful situations, and panicking while you’re supposed to recite your knowledge on a complicated topic doesn’t exactly help with that. You tear your eyes away from the materials eventually, taking another sip of your coffee and then picking up your phone off the small round dinner table in your flat.

“Sorry, I don’t have time then ㅠㅠ” You press send, and it doesn’t take long for your friend to reply.

“On the weekend? I’m busy Saturday but Sunday is fine!!”

“I don’t think I can make time until Tuesday. Sorry. Difficult exam coming up…”

“Then you should take a break!! I’m sure you’ve been studying all day” He’s not wrong with his assumption, but still you can’t bring yourself to set aside a few hours to fool around with him. You wouldn’t be able to relax and truly get the exam off your mind anyway, so you refuse again, even if it hurts you.

It’s been like this for a while now. The last time you’ve seen Donghyuck’s face was almost three weeks ago - after that university and sending job applications have taken up all your free time, and the few hours you had in between to rest you simply spent alone in the comfort of your own apartment, feeling too exhausted to even consider making plans with someone else. You know it might do you good to get out more for other things than going to uni, but at the same time you know you simply don’t have the energy right now - or you would’ve already scheduled a meetup with friends. It sucks, and you’re hoping for some space to breathe in between your schedules sometime soon, but at the same time you know you will be busy with uni until your graduation, and from then on you’ll be busy getting accustomed to work and proving yourself there. And the more you think about it, the more it starts to dawn on you that things will likely not change in the near future, and that somehow the life of a freshman and that of a senior don’t really match well at all.

But you brush those thoughts off for now. The last thing you need right now is a distraction, and so you get back to revising the contents for the exam.

And then comes Sunday afternoon, and you can feel the panic coursing through your veins as if you were about to suffocate from it any second now. You’ve always had some kind of exam anxiety, but it’s never been this bad, and you have absolutely no idea what to do with it except endure and hope that tomorrow will pass quickly. That’s when your phone buzzes to let you know you’ve gotten a message, and what you see when you open the chat room tips you over the edge. 

“This would’ve been more fun if we had watched it together~” - along with a picture of a laptop screen showing the credits of a movie, the interior of Donghyuck’s flat showing in the background. Your hands are shaking as you read his message, your head spinning because suddenly the stress and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms you. You end up doing the first thing that comes to mind - you call him. He picks up after the first ring.

“Jealous?” he teases you, and you stay quiet, your words suddenly stuck in your throat. Hearing only your ragged breathing, he sounds serious when he continues talking after a few moments of silence. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s up? Wanna talk about it?”

“...the exam…”

“Ahh… you’re freaking out because of it?”

“Y-yeah…” Tears well up in your eyes, but you fight hard to keep them from falling. You know if you start crying now, chances are you won’t be able to talk properly in order to explain yourself to him. “I studied everything but I don’t feel like it’s enough… I have no idea how I’m supposed to pass tomorrow…” A sob escapes you at the end of it, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to answer,

“I’ll come over. Just wait for me and hold tight, I’ll be there in 30.” 

And so that’s what he does. He doesn’t even give you the time to refuse when he hangs up, and sure enough roughly 30 minutes later he’s at your doorstep. Putting down his bags and taking off his shoes, the first thing he does is pull you into a tight hug.

“Come here,” whispered against the side of your head as he’s already holding you close, he hugs you until he can feel some of the tension leaving your body. When he finally lets you go, he picks up a paper bag he brought with him, holding it out to you and you take it from him. “I bought them on the way. I thought you could use some comfort food.” A glance inside the bag reveals a box decorated with the logo of your favourite bakery.

“Oh my god… thank you!” you exclaim, and you give him another hug as he lets out a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s have these while we go over your materials together, okay?”

“Huh?” You take a step back and raise your eyebrows at him.

“I came to help you study. So you can kick ass tomorrow!” Throwing a fist in the air in a victorious gesture, you cringe a bit at his childlike enthusiasm, but at the same time you feel thankful. Like you had been in free fall for the past days and finally someone came to catch you.

“Okay,” you accept his offer to help, and then you walk over to the small table in your living room where your laptop and your notes are scattered all over. Briefly organizing them, you skim through them together, and when you’ve reached the end of it, Donghyuck starts asking you random questions related to the topic that he can come up with. And with every question that you manage to answer, you feel just a little calmer, until you’ve gone through everything several times and it’s long dark outside.

“You’re gonna do well tomorrow,” the guy sitting next to you tells you, throwing his hand up in the air to do some stretching and you do the same, your body aching for a bit of movement after sitting down for hours. 

“You think so?”

“Of course!” He seems almost offended at you doubting yourself now. “Look at all these things you memorized perfectly! You’re gonna be just fine.”

“You’re right…” you mutter. “I do feel more confident now.” Yet, you let your head hang.

“But…?” he asks.

“But… I know by the time the exam starts tomorrow I’ll be so nervous, I might forget everything…” He reaches for your hands, taking them into his and giving both of them a gentle squeeze as he looks intently at your face.

“Then you think about how well you just did and how long we just spent repeating everything you studied. With this much preparation, there’s no way you would fail.” You know that realistically speaking, that’s not necessarily true, but you decide to believe him for now. Putting trust into his words puts you at ease, so that’s what you’re going to do.

“Alright,” you say. “It’ll be fine.”

“Of course it will,” he says, laughing as if he had not a single doubt about it.

“But…”

“Another but?”

“It’s almost 2am,” you say.

“Oh.”

“Wanna stay over? It takes you ages to get home if you have to take the night buses, right?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just take a taxi,” he replies, adding, “I don’t wanna stress you out more by staying over.”

“No, I-” All the times you felt yourself forced to turn down his invitations to meet up during the past few weeks are suddenly fresh in your memory, and eventually you manage to say, “I’d actually be thankful if you could stay over… you know… keep the bad thoughts away…”

“Sure…” he responds, and growing very quiet suddenly, he gets up to wrap you into another hug. “I’ll stay.”

You each take a shower and get ready for bed, him throwing on some of his clothes you had lying around at your place anyway, and when you get under the sheets together, it feels different than usually when you sleep in the same bed. Neither of you has any thoughts about having sex for a change, and instead he simply pulls you close to let you rest your head on top of his chest. You wrap an arm around his waist as you listen to his heartbeat, already feeling sleepiness overcome you as you snuggle up to him and you can feel him drawing mindless patterns onto your skin. You feel a sense of peace and safety washing over you when your eyelids simply fall shut, and as you fall asleep you almost don’t register the way he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.

When you open the email telling you that you got a C on your exam, the first thing you can think of doing is letting Donghyuck know. 

“I passed!!!” You send him a message, and he surely doesn’t let you wait too long for an answer, along with a little sticker of a bear wearing a gold medal and giving a thumbs up.

“I told you so!!”

“It’s all thanks to you,” you write. “We need to go celebrate! Drinks on me.”

“Sounds good~”

With a broad smile on your face you put your phone into the pocket of your padded jacket. It has become cold outside, and there’s a thin layer of snow on the streets from last night. It’s the beginning of December, and before Christmas and new years you’re still going to be very busy. You have two job interviews coming up, have to prepare for your final exams and in between you should find some time to work on your dissertation. Still somehow you’re confident that you would easily be able to find a date where you can go out for your little celebration with your friend, but when you run into him on campus a week later, reality hits you right in the face.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out to you as he spots you among a bunch of other students, and you fall behind to briefly talk to him.

“Oh, hi,” you say, not having seen him at all.

“You still didn’t reply to my messages,” he remarks and you immediately pull out your phone, indeed finding that you’ve left him on read two days ago.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you remember that you clearly had the intent to respond to him, but then very obviously failed to do so. “Ah, if we can meet… today?” 

“Yesterday,” he corrects you. “But I guess that didn’t happen…” You can unmistakably see the disappointment in his expression, even though he’s doing his utmost to hide it, and you furrow your brows at the sight in front of you. 

“I’m sorry… I must’ve forgotten to reply while studying or something,” you say, unable to look him in the face. “You know, finals coming up.”

“Yeah… I’m studying a lot too these days,” he says, quickly adding, “But I guess as a senior it’s only natural that you’re even busier than I am.” His words sting for some reason, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Truth be told, you’ve been studying every free minute for the past few days, and in between you had a job interview that you don’t have the best of gut feelings about. You were so busy that you barely manage to have three meals a day, and yet you feel guilty about not being able to make time for him.

“I’m really sorry, Hyuck…” you say and he mutters an “it’s okay” as an answer. “But it’s not, is it?” To that he merely glances to the side, showing a sorry smile. And right then you have an idea. “You know what?” As you reach out to take his hand into yours, he raises his eyebrows at you, taken by surprise by your sudden action. “Let’s set a date right now. Then we don’t have to worry about me forgetting to reply or something.” 

“But… that won’t change the fact that you’re super busy…” he reasons, but you cut him off.

“It’s fine, I should be able to spare at least a few hours,” you say, opening your calendar app on your phone and scrolling through the days until exam week starts. “How about next Friday? Friday night sounds like a good time for a little study break and having a celebration instead.”

“S-sure.” You barely notice how he’s atypically dumbfounded at your enthusiasm, only focusing on the fact that you finally found a date to see each other again.

“Great! My place or yours?” you ask, already typing it into your phone.

“Mine… you wanna bring the drinks? Then I’ll take care of the food,” he offers, now taking his phone out as well, probably to put the meet up into his calendar as well.

“Sounds good,” you say in a rush. “Then I’ll see you Friday! Sorry, but… I really have to go now. I was gonna study some more at the library - you coming too?”

“Ah, no, I… have class in half an hour,” he explains briefly, and as you wave your goodbyes and you’re already running off, you fail to notice how his shoulders are suddenly slouched over and there’s a hint of disappointment in the way he looks at you as you’re walking away.

You sigh as you stare at the email you just received, and you immediately regret even checking your mailbox in the middle of studying in the first place. You got rejected for the last job you applied to - but at least you should be thankful that they let you know about it in the first place, right? After all, the last two companies didn’t even do that much after your interview with them. You gulp, trying to swallow all the disappointment bubbling up inside and attempting to shove it back down to where it came from, and then eventually you cross your arms on the table, resting your head on top and you close your eyes for a while. Another sigh escapes you, and you feel the weight of your responsibilities lay heavily on your shoulders. You’re trying not to beat yourself up over not having found a job for after your graduation yet - you know that everyone’s struggling with finding employment these days. But you really don’t want to take on a job you’re overqualified for, or one that’s not in your field of studies at all. You’ve already made too many compromises because of this, like being willing to move to another city for your job, or expanding on what type of positions you’re applying to. And still, nothing. It’s starting to get to you, even though you hate that it is, and even though you had told yourself to focus on your exams and your dissertation first and foremost. But all of these things stacked on top of each other have led you to lose your spark a bit, and there’s no denying you’re starting to feel burnt out. 

You tell yourself it’s fine, it will pass and eventually your life will get less stressful again. But for now you can feel that you’re at your limit, and you could really use some comfort.

“Right,” you mutter to yourself, lifting your head and looking at the date displayed in the bottom corner of your laptop screen. “Only a few hours to go. Then I can see him.” It’s Friday afternoon, and so you take a deep breath and bring yourself to study some more, before you can finally go to Donghyuck’s place, spending a full evening not having to think about any of this. Burying your head in your books and your lecture notes, you end up not realizing how fast the time is passing, and next time you check the clock, it’s already past 7. 

“Oh god…” you quickly pick up your phone, seeing that your friend already sent you a message asking where you are. You were scheduled to be at his place at 7, but somehow you completely lost track of time.

“I’m so sory I didn’t realize hwo late is is. Ill hurry!!” You type up that message as quickly as possible, ignoring the typos as you send it, and then you jump out of your seat to get ready. 

It’s almost 8pm when he opens the door for you and you apologize first thing as you hand him the tote bag with the alcohol you had promised to bring.

“Ah, but you thought of the important stuff,” he says with a forced smile, trying to brighten the mood a bit before he invites you in and you kick off your shoes and take off your coat to follow him inside.

“I’m really really sorry,” you say once again when you’ve made yourself comfortable on his couch. “I was studying and suddenly it was already this late…”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says as he carries over two glasses from the kitchen, handing you one of them. “We’re both busy, it’s not like I don’t understand.”

“But you’re upset.”

“A little,” he admits without looking you in the eyes, and when he continues talking, he does his best to sound cheerful. “But let’s not let that ruin the entire evening. We were both looking forward to today, right?”

“Yeah,” you say. “You won’t believe how glad I am to finally be here,” you add, and you feel the way your body relaxes just by being near him. You earn yourself a bright smile for that comment, before he lifts up the glass in his hand.

“I found the recipe for this a few days ago and wanted to try it,” he says. “I thought it’s your style.” You find a few ice cubes swimming in the beverage he handed you, along with a slice of lemon. The color is a dark shade of yellow at the bottom, and completely transparent at the top, and you nod at the presentation.

“It looks good,” you say. “I’ll try it. Cheers!” Each taking a sip, you agree that you like the taste, and the guy sitting next to you on his sofa explains,

“The recipe says you should put a bit of mint in as well, but… I didn’t have any.”

“I think it’s good the way it is… but, I’m starving. Let’s order food?”

“Me too,” he answers, getting out his phone. 

You order takeout, and while you eat and drink, you watch a movie that you’ve both been wanting to see for some time. You end up chatting here and there during less interesting scenes, and even though you enjoy the movie overall, you enjoy talking to him more. Eventually, as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you rest your head on his shoulder and he lets you, and you don’t think anything of the peaceful smile he gives you upon feeling you so close to him. He puts one of his hands on top of your thigh, mindlessly rubbing his palm up and down, and by the end of the movie you can’t deny anymore that his actions are affecting you. Credits still rolling, you turn your head to face him, and wordlessly you kiss him, his lips melting against yours. You part for a mere second in which you put your hand behind his neck, and as you let yourself fall against the backrest of his sofa, he hovers above you, distance closing again. 

“Hyuck…” you breathe his name when you part the next time. “Need you…”

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he mutters into a sweet kiss, and then he gets up, taking you by your hands to pull you up along with him. As soon as you step into the bedroom you pull him in for another kiss, and you stumble backwards as he steers you towards his bed. He barely lets you lie down when he’s already on top of you, kissing you more deeply. Tongue running across your lip to ask for permission to enter, you allow it without hesitation, and you moan at the way he kisses you slowly but passionately. 

“I’ll take care of you,” he says after parting, “just lean back, okay?”

“Okay…” you answer and he lets his fingertips wander down your clothed body. Undoing the button of your jeans, he unhurriedly slips his hand inside them, and he watches you intently as his fingertips brush against your soaked panties, his voice sultry as he teases you, “So wet already… I didn’t know you were that desperate for me…” Before letting you answer, he leans in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth, starting to rub up and down between your folds slowly.

“I thought I’d go crazy without this…” you confess, arms wrapped around him and one hand up in his hair. You play with his locks as he teases you, and you whine, “More, please… don’t make me wait even longer…”

“What do you want, baby?” he asks, and then he buries his face in your neck, leaving kisses there as you throw your head back.

“Anything… even if it’s just your fingers, please just get me off…” you beg, only now realizing just how desperate you really are. Donghyuck gulps at your words, and he kisses his way up to your jaw and along it, until his lips are hovering right above yours.

“Tell me how badly you need me…” he mutters, pushing the fabric of your underwear aside so he could touch you directly. “I wanna hear everything.” As he starts rubbing small circles on your clit his lips go back to tending to your neck, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin and making it that much more difficult for you to form coherent sentences. Still you can’t but do as told.

“So bad… need you so bad,” you mewl. “I tried to get off so many times, but nothing feels as good as when you touch me…” He hums at your words, granting you a finger dipping inside your pussy for just a moment in return and gasping at just how wet you are.

“I’ll make up for it,” he says. “I’ll make you cum so good.” You whimper, and then you instinctively buck your hips as his finger ghosts above your entrance. You hear him curse through gritted teeth at how needy you’re becoming, and blood rushes to your head from the thought alone that your state could turn him on so much as well.

“Please… just give me your fingers…” you whine, and to your surprise Donghyuck doesn’t drag out his teasing for longer. And so you cry out when he pushes inside, pumping in and out of you while watching your every reaction to his touch. “Fuck…” you hiss, already seeing your high approaching from far away. “I’m not gonna last long…”

“It’s okay,” he coos over you. “Wanna feel you cum around my fingers… can you take another one?”

“Y-yes… yes please…” you say mindlessly, only being able to think about how you want to feel him more. The stretch is bearable when he pushes into you with three fingers, and when he presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves, fingering you skillfully, you think you’re about to lose your mind. “Fuck… yes… don’t stop, please…” you mewl as he slowly picks up speed until he can see the bliss on your facial features. At this point all you can do is moan his name and dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you cling to him, bucking your hips in chase of your orgasm. 

“Shit, you’re so pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he marvels at the sight in front of him, and next thing you know your whole body is shaken by the force of your high. You whine as he fucks you through it, right until your last aftershocks, and then you simply close your eyes as you lay back on his bed, feeling the exhaustion from the past weeks taking over you. Licking his fingers clean after pulling out of you, he then captures your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.

“What do you want me to do next?” he asks, his words sounding maybe even sweeter than usual to your ears, and you blame it on the way your mind is still in a haze from your orgasm. You think about it for a short while, and in the end you simply snuggle up to him closely.

“Let’s just… stay like this for a while,” you answer. “If that’s okay with you… I think I just need to be close to you.”

“Sure…” Donghyuck mutters, a bit taken aback by your response that must’ve come very unexpectedly to him. However, he doesn’t hesitate to put an arm around your frame, making you feel safe in a warm embrace. “That good?” he asks, and when you nod he presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there for a while.

You don’t move, not knowing how much time is passing while you’re merely listening to the other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s warmth. At that moment, you wish you could stay like this forever, but as you close your eyes and begin to relax, all your thoughts from the past weeks about your situation with him catch up to you one by one. Deep inside you know it can’t stay like this. And the longer you’re dragging this out, the more clearly you can see just how unfair this is on him. And so eventually, you don’t see any other plausible course of action to take next than to start talking.

“Thank you… for being by my side,” you mutter. Your hand having found its way into his, you’re playing with his fingers, eyes focused on that. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you lately… really.”

“Of course!” he responds, moving back a bit to get a proper look at your face. “You know I’d do anything for you.” You chuckle at his exaggerated words, letting go of his hand and ruffling his hair instead.

“I’m glad to have met you again,” you continue. “But… I’ve been thinking, you know? And I don’t think we can go on like this.”

“What…?”

“Just… I’m only gonna get busier, you know…?” The exact moment that he sits up, his comforting touch being torn away from you as he stares at you with disbelief on his face, you inevitably begin to feel like you fucked up. But you started this now, and there’s no way you could dig yourself back out of this mess, so you decide it’d be for the best to just see it through and be honest with him. “You know that I could never pay you back all that you’ve done for me… Hyuck.” You call out his name, but he barely even reacts with nothing but a blank expression in his eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen him this pale. “I’m gonna graduate, Hyuck. You’ll still be a student when I start working. Hell, I might have to move somewhere completely different if I don’t find a job in this city soon. And once I do find employment, I’m gonna have to work my ass off to prove my worth. I won’t have time to fool around like this anymore…”

“Fool… around…?” he repeats, speaking slowly, as his expression suddenly reflects a hundred complicated feelings. “Fool around… was all this is to you?”

“I mean… we’re friends too, obviously-”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, and the way he says your name stabs you like a knife. “I have feelings too, you know. You can’t just…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You’re going to tell me that it’s better if we didn’t see each other anymore, aren’t you?”

“No!” you immediately refute. “I mean-... look, we can stay friends, but I don’t know how much we’ll actually be able to see each other-”

“Friends?” he repeats in utter disbelief. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

“Realize what-”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you.”

“What…?” That is all you manage to reply to his confession. You really did never notice it, and so this comes as a shock to you. You realize that maybe him saying he’d do anything for you wasn’t an exaggeration at all, but you didn’t think he’d keep this fuckbuddy thing up if he had feelings for you all along. As if he had read your mind, he says,

“I’m sorry… I-... I didn’t want to tell you like this…” he speaks, his head hanging low now. “Not when I know you have a thousand other things to worry about, but… I just couldn’t… you said all these hurtful things. I don’t think you know how much hearing all that just now hurts.”

“I-,” you begin, but you don’t know what to say. You stare at him in utter disbelief for a moment, and then all of a sudden, from one second to the other, you feel like you’re going to suffocate if you don’t get out of here as fast as possible. “I… I can’t do this right now.” You get up off the bed and zip up your jeans. Your head is in chaos and your emotions are all jumbled up, but the one thing you can clearly feel is the anger burning in your veins. You truly are upset that he dropped such a bomb on you just before exams start and you need a clear head more than anything. “I’m going home… sorry,” you mutter under your breath, and without another look back at the guy who can’t do anything but watch as you’re slipping out of his grasp once again, you walk out of the door.

“Good luck for your exams” You let out a sigh as you finally delete the notification of the message Donghyuck sent you four days ago as you’re on your way to uni for your last exam. It’s Friday noon and you can’t wait for all of this to be over, the beginning of winter break feeling like you’re finally about to reach the safe shore after you’ve been almost drowning for weeks. 

You didn’t talk to Donghyuck for the entirety of the week - of course, or you would’ve long answered his message that he sent you on Monday. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t even dare open the chatroom. Instead, you had focused on the necessities to get you through this week: sleep, eat, revise everything you studied, be on time for your exams, rinse and repeat. And now that it’s already the last day of this nightmare, you can’t wait to simply crash into bed once you arrive home tonight. 

It’s true that you’ve been feeling the relief after every single exam you finished, like some of the weight was taken off your shoulder with each time you walk out of a lecture hall. And yet you still feel the tiredness in your bones, but there’s something else tugging at your limbs and trying to make you stop running from one task to the other. However, you don’t let it. Too big is the fear of what you might find if you do stop and have a look, so you force all thoughts out of your mind that have nothing to do with your exams. And today as well your mind is empty when you take your seat and you’re handed the paper you’re supposed to fill out during the next one and a half hours, trusting your memory and your ability to recall the correct answers you have studied to each question.

As you’re leaving the lecture hall, finally done with the last one of your exams, somebody calls out to you. You turn your head to find one of your friends catching up with you, greeting you with a lively expression on her face.

“We’re finally done,” she says. “Now we only need to wait for our final paper to be graded and then we’re free!”

“Yeah,” you respond, trying to sound cheerful but inevitably failing. You’re just tired at this point, and no matter how relieved you are that exams are over, you can’t bring yourself to be happy.

“What’s with you?” your friend asks, concern in her voice. “Do you have to redo one of your exams?”

“No, no, it’s nothing,” you assure her, but she doesn’t buy it. 

“There’s something up with you. Did studying take that much out of you?”

“I guess,” you reply as you walk down the hallway with her, but then you hesitate. “Actually… nevermind.”

“Hm? Y/N, what is it? You’re being really weird.” She steps in front of you, making you halt on the spot, but eventually she keeps walking. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“...it’s about a friend,” you admit finally.

“A friend?” she repeats. “Did something happen to them?”

“No, just… we just haven’t seen each other much lately, and… yeah.” You lower your head and she steps closer.

“That must be a very good friend if you miss them so much,” she states, matter of factly, and that’s when you feel a stab right to your heart, putting you in physical pain.

“Right…” you mutter. Without you realizing, Donghyuck’s presence has painted your ordinary days in a color of hope, wrapping you in a feeling of safety whenever you’re with him and making you become way too comfortable around him. And now that it’s come this far, you don’t know how you’re supposed to scratch off all that paint anymore. The thought alone makes you feel sick to the stomach - you shouldn’t have been such an idiot. You knew where this would lead, and that you wouldn’t have the time to fool around with him anymore once you’ve graduated. A feeling of deep regret overcomes you. 

You shouldn’t have said yes when he suggested leaving your class reunion together.

When you get home that day, you finally let yourself feel the full consequences of the past weeks filled with stress and you crash into your bed immediately. You haven’t planned to go to sleep this early, but at some point you simply find yourself drifting off, and the next time you open your eyes it’s Saturday morning. 

Your body aches as you force yourself to get out of bed, and when you open the curtains and the sunlight blinds your eyes, you curse existence itself. You trod over to the bathroom, wash your face, and after finding yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror, you return to your little kitchen to get yourself a simple breakfast. Finishing it while scrolling through social media on your phone, you then get yourself back to your bed, plummeting down on it and grabbing one of the books stacked atop your bedside table that you never found the time to finish while uni has kept you occupied. You open it on the page you had left off weeks ago, and after fighting your way through roughly two and a half paragraphs, you give up and you put the book back to where it’s been resting untouched until now. Your mind just won’t let you focus on this now, so you pick your heavy body up off the comfortable sheets and decide to take a shower first of all.

Things continue like this for the next few days. Even though exams are finally over, you just can’t find it in you to rest properly. Neither going out to have fun nor staying at home and having some quality alone time sound appealing to you, and soon enough you figure out why. No matter what you do or where you are, there’s this constant pain in your chest dragging you down, because time and time again you find yourself impulsively wanting to tell Donghyuck about your day, or even just sending him a funny meme you found on instagram. But you can’t. In a way this reminds you of five years ago, when you started spending less and less time together in high school and then eventually broke up with each other. You recall finding yourself in situations like this back when you started college as well, wanting to tell him about something fun or exciting that happened but feeling unable to, because it’s already been months since you had last talked. However, there’s one significant difference between then and now. 

Then, you merely found it a shame that you couldn’t freely text him or talk to him anymore. But you had moved on, finding new friends to talk to about those same things. Now, it’s like someone had torn a chunk of yourself out of your chest, and you’re slowly bleeding out as your nervous system prevents you from doing anything at all, signaling you that there must be a more urgent matter to take care of first. And only once you come to understand that this matter has to do with nothing other than Donghyuck himself, that’s when something finally connects in your mind. Your days have been painted with his colors, but maybe you’re not supposed to get rid of all that paint. Maybe you’re simply supposed to embrace it, because after all those years he’s become someone who’s just right for you. And maybe he’s become someone you can even come to love.

No, he’s already someone you love, you just never realized it.

Without thinking, you open your chatroom with Donghyuck, his last message still unanswered, and you start typing.

“I need to see you.”

“Now.”

You stand on his doorstep, taking a deep breath. Donghyuck had texted you back eventually, offering to meet at his place, so that’s where you are now, nervous to ring the doorbell. It was you who suddenly decided to come see him, so why are you so hesitant?

Another deep breath, exhaled shakily, and you reach out to press the bell button. Maybe 10 seconds later, the door opens, and when Donghyuck mutters a greeting with a distant expression in his eyes, it’s like a slap to your face.

“Come in, I guess,” he says as he’s already turning around, and you do as told. Taking your shoes off, you follow him a few steps inside, and shooting you a cold look, he asks, “What do you need to talk about?”

You’ve never seen him like this. Even when you broke up at the end of high school there wasn’t such a dark expression on his face. At that moment you have no idea how to shake off the guilt anymore, and so all you can do is let the words burst out of you.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” He watches you with a look over his shoulder and you let your head hang, hoping he isn’t aware of the way tears are welling up in your eyes. “I can’t imagine how much I must’ve hurt you.” You add those words through gritted teeth, afraid of a sob suddenly making its way past your lips if you’re not careful.

“Then why are you the one crying?” he asks, staying surprisingly calm.

“B-because…” You gulp, and figuring that it’s too late anyway, you lift your chin to look at him and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to see the person I love suffer.”

“Y/N…” he breathes your name before turning around fully to face you. He steps closer, but still keeps a good distance between you two. “You rejected me only a few days ago…”

“I know.” Your words are merely a whisper now. “Because I was scared… the future seems so overwhelming that I kept thinking I don’t have space for something like this. But… that doesn’t mean… that I didn’t still fall in love with you.” Silence follows, the only sound disrupting it being the soft sigh Donghyuck lets out before he finally closes the distance between you.

“Can I… hold you?” You nod at his question and you let him come closer, until you find yourself safely wrapped into his embrace, his warm breath tickling your neck as he buries his face there. 

“I’m so sorry for how I acted… you must really hate me now…” you mutter, and you’re almost startled when your friend lets out a laugh as he’s holding you.

“Yes, because I always go around hugging my enemies like this,” he says with a tired yet cheeky grin on his lips, and seeing that expression on his face suddenly washes all your worries away.

“Right…”

“It’s okay, Y/N… I know you had a rough time. I shouldn’t have confessed to you so suddenly either,” he apologizes, but you immediately shake your head, vigorously.

“No, don’t say sorry! I… I kind of get it… that it had to get out,” you say. “Especially after I said all those hurtful things to you.” He brings one hand up to your cheek, brushing his knuckles against the skin there and as his eyes scan your facial features you can unmistakably see how much he adores you. It makes your heart soar, and you part your lips as your gaze falls to his mouth.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you. “Does that mean… I can ask you to be my girlfriend now?”

“Sure…” you mumble, the urge to feel his lips on yours clouding your mind. “And when I’m your girlfriend… can you kiss me then?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, and he takes a tiny step away from you so he could take your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. “Y/N, would you be my girlfriend?” You can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you listen to his question, and you nod.

“Yes, please,” you answer. “Let me be your girlfriend.” And then he kisses you, slowly and carefully, and this time you aren’t confused on what those feelings he’s pouring into this kiss are. This time you know that it’s all the love he has for you, and you let it wrap you into a veil of warmth and comfort, feeling safe with him.

“I love you,” you mutter in between kisses, and eventually your hands find their way up into his hair. You kiss him back as you comb through it, and when you hear him whisper those same words back at you in between kisses, you once again can’t control the smile on your lips. You part to look at each other, finding an unmistakable desire for more behind his gaze, and so you begin moving as you connect your lips to his again.

"I'm sorry..." you mutter in between kisses, as you're steering him towards the bedroom, and he lets out a sigh against your lips in response. "I want to make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Donghyuck mutters with his hands on your waist, and you reach the bed, positioning yourselves so you could have him sit with one swift push against his chest. Crawling on top of him as he merely looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted while he awaits your next kiss, he's already completely drunk on you.

"Then see it as me taking care of you?" you whisper, reconnecting your lips to his. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and him having his hands securely placed on your sides for stability, you merely keep kissing like that. Unhurriedly, because now you both know there's nothing rushing you anymore, nothing that would tear you apart.

"I love you." He mutters those words as you part, and when you open your eyes you can see him already nervously peeking up at you. You can't help but smile endearingly, cupping his cheek with one hand before you lean in for another sweet kiss to his reddened lips.

"I love you too, Hyuck," you say just when you pull back, and you let your fingertips wander down his upper body. Watching his face closely for his reactions, you pull his shirt off him, tossing it to the floor, and then you add, "Lie down for me, baby. I'll make you feel good." It comes as a surprise even to you to see him obey so quickly, and you let your palm glide down the bare skin on his chest and abdomen as he lies back. And then, when you reach for his wrists to pin them against the bed right next to his head, you can see a slight but still apparent blush creeping onto his cheeks, and he lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a quiet whine.

"Fuck, you make me go crazy," you mutter as you press another kiss to his puffy lips, and when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip he moans into your mouth, the act alone sending heatwaves through your body. You instinctively roll your hips on top of his, earning yourself another small mewl from him, and then you trail kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. He leans his head back to give you better access, brows furrowed as he sighs in contentment. Forming his hands into fists, he digs his nails into his palms and whines some more as you continue grinding down on him, and the way you feel him grow underneath you turns you on as well. And then eventually you let go of his wrists to work your way down, peppering kisses all over his chest as he immediately throws his arms around your body, holding onto you tightly. 

"Hyuck..." you call out his name as you sit up briefly, and then you continue trailing nips and kisses down his body. "Let me hear you." He curses as your hand ghosts above his core, watching you with an expectant gaze in his eyes. You pull down the sweatpants he's wearing, and then his underwear, both just enough so his hard length is exposed. You wrap your fingers around him, and you kneel above him now, one of his thighs positioned between your legs, so you could get a good look at his face as you start to slowly jerk him off. 

"Look at me," you demand, and he does, the blush returning to his cheeks.

"Faster..." he mutters, barely audible, and you teasingly ask him to repeat himself. "Faster, please..." he begs through gritted teeth, and when you tighten your grip on his shaft just a little bit, he responds with a moan. "Can't take it..."

"Are you gonna let me hear more of those pretty moans?" you question, lips quivering in anticipation.

"Y-yes..." You don't know if your mind is tricking you or if his blush is growing just a bit darker as he answers, but either way you begin to move your hand faster, having him whining underneath you as he throws his head back. You watch with your lips slightly parted, and it's not like you've never seen him like this before, but there's just something about the way he gives himself up to pleasure when you have him in this kind of position that always gets you going. You move your hips in tune with the speed at which you get him off, grinding your clothed core down on his thigh, and he pushes his leg up just a bit to give you more friction.

"Shit..." you hiss, pleasure clouding your mind, and Donghyuck reaches down to wrap his fingers around your hand, guiding you into a faster pace. You collect the precum leaking his tip and use it as lube to glide down his length more smoothly, and as you can see on his face that he's about to lose himself to the sensation, you mutter a warning, "Don't cum yet."

"But-" he whines, and you take your hand away just before he can reach his high. "Y/N..." he desperately whines your name and you lean in to press a soothing kiss somewhere onto his chest, and then another one against his cheek.

"I wanna have you cumming inside me," you whisper, and when you sit back up you quickly rid yourself of all your clothes, in the end helping him out of his pants as well. You crawl on top of him, your hands placed on his shoulders for support, and you let out a curse as you roll your hips against him, his tip rubbing against your folds. And once again he whines, pressing his eyes tightly shut and digging his nails into your hips. 

"Just fuck me already..." he breathes, but you have other plans.

"Be good and I will, baby," you coo as you repeat your motion without letting him slip inside you. He begins to squirm underneath you, visibly fighting to suppress his orgasm, and you swear you could cum from the sight alone. "Fuck... you're so fucking hot like that, Hyuck..." you mutter through gritted teeth, his repeated whines sounding like music to your ears.

"C-can't... hold back..." And once again you stop the stimulation just as he's about to cum, and with a frustrated groan he throws his head back into the mattress, dragging his nails down your skin. You reach for his hands, and as you intertwine your fingers you pin them above his head, and you can't but coo over the desperate look he gives you, and the way his cheeks are reddening again.

"You gonna cum right when I take you in, aren't you?" you ask, smirking at him after pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So desperate for my pussy..." And he can't do anything but whine at your words, because you both know you're right, and him denying it would just make him look stupid. "Then cum for me, baby," you mutter against his lips as you seal them with yours, running your tongue along his mouth to deepen the kiss. You sink down on him, taking in his size with ease, and the second you start rolling your hips he releases inside you as he moans into your mouth. Heat rushes through your veins when you part and you sit up, letting go of his wrists and combing the fingers of one hand through his disheveled hair instead. 

"Didn't think you really would cum the instant you're inside me," you mock him, earning yourself another whine from him. "And I bet you're also gonna be hard again in no time if I keep this up," you mumble, rolling your hips on top of him slowly. "Such a sucker for when I'm in control, huh?"

"Yeah..." he breathes out, and you unexpectedly feel your heart swell at his answer. Usually he'd be fighting back by now, trying to battle you for dominance or at least being bratty, but today you really just have him at your mercy unconditionally.

"Is it because I finally said that I love you?" you conclude, as if he had heard your thought process.

"Huh?" You run your fingers through his hair again, and then you lean in for another deep kiss.

"Do you like it that much when I play with you like this, or are you being good because you're scared I'll leave if you're not perfect for me?" Donghyuck stares at you for a while as you sit back up, the blush on his cheeks fading, and when he finally reaches out to you to press your body against his for a tight embrace, he answers,

"No, I trust you. And I kinda like it when you sometimes use me." A storm of emotions washing over you, you bring some distance between you and him slowly, and after mustering his genuine expression for a while, you reach for his hands once again.

"Don't touch me," you order as you put them back into their place above his head. "And don't cum until I tell you to. If you wanna be my little toy you gotta be good, alright?"

"Alright." He gulps, taking you in as you're sitting on top of him, starting to ride him with one hand sliding down your body, fingertips reaching your core to give yourself some extra stimulation. Eyes dripping with honey, he keeps his hands in place, and the more you can feel him growing inside you, the more you can also see him struggling to keep his composure.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mutters eventually, and you hum a praise to signal him to keep going. "Feels so good... wanna be good for you..."

"That's right..." you mutter, your eyelids fluttering shut as you bounce on top of him, rubbing circles onto your clit. You position yourself so that everytime you sink down on him his tip would graze that perfect spot inside you, and along with listening to his words and the way his voice starts shaking from the pleasure has you seeing stars soon enough.

"U-use me, please... wanna feel you cum on my cock..." he sputters, and you moan at his pleas.

"Doing so well for me, baby... shit, nobody could ever make me feel as good as you..." He whines desperately as you keep your pace slow, in hopes of bringing him as close as possible to the edge as you're racing towards your own high. "Hyuck..." you mutter his name, your voice trembling. "Cum with me." Another moan falling from his lips and you feel yourself shaken by your orgasm, clenching around him as he spills inside you a second time. 

"Shit..." With a curse you collapse on top of him, finding him wrapping his arms around you in a comforting motion, and you add, "You were amazing." He nuzzles his face into the side of your head, lips brushing against your temple, and once you've caught your breath a bit you give him a proper kiss. "I'm sorry... for trying to push you away like th-" Donghyuck puts his index finger across your lips, shutting you up in the process, and with a soft smile he shakes his head.

"Stop apologizing," he says. "It's okay now. Let's focus on the future, and how we can build it together." His hand cupping your face and his thumb brushing against your cheek make your heart skip a beat, and you simply nod.

"You're right," you respond, and you lie back down on top of him, nestling into his chest. "If we just have each other, we can make it through anything."

[thebluester2020]

[TWST] "Free" Lodging At SavanaClaw

Summary: After being kicked out from Ramshackle Dorm, you swallowed your pride and decided to go to SavanaClaw to try and convince the local Housewarden to let you stay until you found a way to get Ramshackle back. But, as nothing was ever free in your former world, the same rules apply here! Warning(s): Leona being a dick but that's the normal, Dub-con(kinda-ish?), Manipulation, Leona refers to the reader as "lioness" instead of "herbivore" (This reader has an attitude y'all, buckle up), Gender neutral pronouns (Reader is heavily implied to be a girl though), Edging(?), No active sex in this one just Leona feeling the reader up basically, Consent check-ups. Side Note(s): This may be the most inaccurate fanfic I'll write to date since I'm just now getting back into the TWST fandom 💀. But I vaguely remember (I think?) the MC getting kicked out from their dorm and having to shack up with Leona for a bit so I'm running off "You want something? What're you willing to do for it?" type of energy. Also, I will add to the idea that Leona drinks his "respect women" juice, so be prepared for those consent check-ups.

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

"...So, that's why I need to stay here..."

Never once in your life had you felt so small, so...insignificant as you stood in front of Leona's dorm room, after pouring your heart out about your situation and how you had no place to stay after making a shady deal with Azul. To be in a position of begging, pleading with to have a place to stay. You didn't know who to curse out first!

Crowley for not getting you back to your original world fast enough.

Azul for tricking you in the first place into making a shady deal.

Or maybe even yourself, for being so foolish in the first place as to think that there wouldn't be a backhanded price for losing a bet with Azul to begin with! And what's more? You still felt you weren't thinking straight, after all, instead of thinking that it was best to shack up with Ace and Deuce, your feet instead led you to Leona.

The arrogant prince who looked as if he were completely apathetic to your situation as if your very presence outside of his dorm room was an utter annoyance. And to hold yourself accountable? It probably was. No one wants to share their room after all, especially when the person in question had no clue when their new potential guest would be leaving.

But at the same time? It wasn't like you wanted to be begging either!

"Hm," Was the first noise that Leona made as his tail flicked side to side, scratching his chin. "What do I get out of lettin' you stay 'ere?" The beastman couldn't help the smirk that graced his already handsome features as an immediate furious expression took over your face.

"What the hell do you mean 'What do I get out of it'?!" You said in a mocking imitation of the prince's voice.

Leona then frowned before yawning. "Well now...that's no way to speak to someone you're asking to live with—" Before he could close the door, you quickly stopped it with your hand before you huffed. You took a brief moment to gather yourself, to suck in your pride and reaffirm in your head that there were no other options, no other people you could think willing enough to bend (or flat out ignore) the rules and let you stay in their dorm room for a little while.

Once done, you exhale through your nose before sighing. "What...do you want?"

The prince smirked, now you were playing his game.

Leona wasn't blind.

Despite the two of you not being on the very best of terms, constantly bickering whenever you both saw one another and having an unspoken rivalry of sorts. Be it in some of your classes together, who had the most biting words that day, or even you two simply getting in the way of each other! You two didn't like each other except...

Leona somewhat liked you. Enough to where he periodically had lustful thoughts about you from time to time that is. As he continued to think to himself, he thought about how great it would be to first have the only girl at this school. To make you his own personal toy, not that it would be an easy battle that is.

You'd ultimately call the shots, and he would simply have to keep your attention.

Something that he would easily achieve. "For me being so gracious to allow you to even think of staying in my dorm—" Your eyes widened a little when the prince leaned forward a little. And oh...how you hated how he smelled so good, expensive cologne mixed with a distinct wild smell that you couldn't pinpoint. But, you tried to keep your head afloat, the last thing you could afford was to allow your mind to be clouded.

You absolutely refused it.

"—how about you service me?" You visibly flinched at the idea.

"...You're not talking about an innocent back massage, are you?"

His silence was your answer.

And you hated to admit that the idea appealed to you, even if it was just slightly. Never once had you thought that the prince was ugly. Maybe in personality, sure but looks-wise? He was very attractive, as princely as the definition came, but to sleep with him? Just for a place to stay? She didn't know if she could convince herself to do that!

"What if I say no?" You mumbled.

He responded with a shrug. "Then I won't pressure you. I'm not so cruel as to let a woman roam around at night with no place to go." He said with a deep purr that made your very body reverberate. "But, something tells me that you won't say no."

You sighed, looking away for a moment before looking back up at him.

Although you didn't give him a verbal response, the prince saw your answer as clear as day in your eyes and thus, moved to the side to allow you into his room to which you immediately started to look around, only offering Leona a scoff once you finished your visual tour of where you'd be staying for some time until you came up with a plan to get Ramshackle back.

"Your room is messy." You said, eliciting a 'tsk' from the prince as he closed his door and stood back, giving you room to overlook his room.

"I take it this is a more than adequate place for you to sleep?" He questioned.

You nodded your head. "I can just sleep on the floor—"

"You'll sleep on the bed," He sighed, walking past you. "If you're sensitive about sleeping so close to a man then put a pillow between us. I'm not moving from my own bed."

You rolled your eyes with an annoyed grumble. "I'm not trying to kick you from your bed, nor am I sensitive about sleeping next to a man!"

Leona merely rolled his eyes as he strolled up to you before placing a hand on your shoulder, and he smirked at how you flinched as he slowly stalked around you until he stood behind you. The smell of your nervousness was clear, and even if his nose didn't function. His ears definitely picked up on it, from your squeaks each time he moved or the way you shuffled around.

Although he would never say it out loud...with how pretty you were, he assumed you to be more than familiar with the touch of a man.

Clearly, though, his assumptions were incorrect.

"So nervous lioness...never thought I'd see the day." He chuckled.

"S-Shut up," You hissed in response. "Just get this over with..."

Leona's brow rose. "I'm not into taking advantage of women. If you're not comfortable with me touching you then tell me." When you looked over your shoulder, his breath hitched at the sight of how fast the blood rushed to his cock. The arousing sight of you looking up at him through your eyelashes, your eyes darkened ever so slightly from growing lust. It was driving him insane.

"I need verbal responses," Leona's snapped you from your thoughts. "Can I touch you? I won't go any farther than that." He said, his hand still planted firmly on your shoulder to accentuate his point that he wouldn't make any sudden movements unless you said so.

You nodded your head. "S-Sure..."

At your consent, he was meticulous about where he touched.

First, he started with your arms, rubbing his hands up and down as he silently committed the feeling to memory. Smooth, almost...doughy in a way. And some parts of your skin were freckled as well. 'Cute.' He thought before he moved over to touch your backside. He ignored the whisper in his head that told him to teasingly slip a finger underneath a sleeve or perhaps underneath your skirt, instead, his tail flicked at the feeling of your curves.

And when he trailed his way back up to your shoulder, he poked at the back of your neck with his claw.

You squeaked at the contact. "So jumpy."

"Fuck you," He snorted in response. "Are curses all you have to say to me? If I'm observing you correctly—" You sucked in a breath when Leona's hands trailed over to your chest, touching at prodding at your mounds while he steadily got closer and closer to you until he was pressed up against your backside and...you felt his hard-on against your ass.

A shaky sigh left your lips. "So soft..." He whispered in your ear. "Bet they're even softer without these clothes."

"Stop being crude." You panted out.

The prince smirked. "Did you know us beastmans have enhanced senses?" He asked, changing the subject as he licked up the shell of your ear, tearing a shakey moan from you as you started to unconsciously buck up against the prince's hard-on, causing him to groan at the contact but nonetheless continue speaking and feeling you up. "I can smell your arousal, how needy you are for me despite trying to hide it."

"T-That's not—Ahh..."

Now this was something he would love to hear every single day.

Those breathless shy moans of yours, coupled with the sight of you unconsciously bucking into his hard-on and making it near irresistible to ask you if the two of you could go farther than this. If you'd allow him to taste you next, finger your cute pussy, or perhaps fuck you. But...he wasn't about to let you slip through his fingers just because he couldn't control his urges.

"L-Leona...fuck—"

"What is it?" He purred against your ear. "Want me to touch you somewhere else...?"

You sucked your bottom lip in, your panties were absolutely soaked as you continued to squirm against Leona's hold. Your control was slipping fast, you didn't know how long you'd be able to hold on before you'd say something you knew you would regret later on! And there were too many times when you wanted to ask him to stop, slow down, and let you catch your breath, anything! But...as Leona's hands began to untuck your shirt from your skirt and slide his hands up and underneath, the tickle from his claws dragged slowly upward toward your breasts making you buckle and flinch.

You broke.

Hard.

"P-Please..." You didn't know what you were begging for exactly but, the small word made the lion beastman's ears perk all the same before he snickered.

"A simple please doesn't get a prince to do what you want, be more specific."

"Y-You fucker—" You inhaled sharply when Leona gently pinched your nipples, silencing you effectively as a smirk crept onto his handsome features.

"What was that?" He asked.

You took another breath in and exhaled out shakily before you gulped. "D-Down there...please."

"What? Your pussy? Is it aching for my touch?" He asked with a devilish smirk as you nodded your head, even going so far as to try and press your ass into his crotch further. Cruelly, however, Leona forcefully stopped you with a quick yet light swat against the side of your thigh. "Then ask me like you're begging a royal. Do it or you'll have to settle. C'mon...you can do it."

You looked at the beastman over your shoulder once more, your eyes clouded over with lust whilst your lips were shiny and wet from you constantly licking your lips. "...P-Prince Leona," You started. "C-Can you touch me...there my pussy..."

Leona nearly grinned ear-to-ear from his victory before he sighed. "I would but—" Your eyes widened in confusion immediately when Leona slipped his hands from me, your form shaking as if you were left suddenly in the cold as the lion beastman walked to the other side of his room to grab his bag. "—I have class, Ruggie will chew my ear off if I miss this class for the fifth time this month."

You swore that you saw red at that moment. "Y-You fucker...y-you did that on purpose!" You screamed.

"What? To ask you to ask me something nicely?"

"You—"

"Calm down," He clicked his tongue. "You live with me now, remember? I'll touch your needy cunt when I get back." He said, flicking you in the forehead before he turned to walk out the door, leaving you to stand there in both shock and frustration.

You really needed to find a way to get Ramshackle back.

Fast.

[hijackalx]

MALE BG3 COMPANIONS TURN ONS/KINKS +18

FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS

NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS

A/N: i limited myself to just 5 per companion otherwise this would get wayyyy too long lol but if u guys want pt. 2 let me know 💗

ASTARION

CORRUPTION

ok this is mostly because he has more than one instance in the game where he mentions virgins lol. i think he would totally get off on "corrupting" someone inexperienced and sweet, like i can see him loving the idea of teaching u or showing u new things. will poke fun at how innocent u are and the whole time he's ROCK fucking hard 😭😭

BRAT TAMING

this man loves to play games. he likes people who have nerve but mostly because it feels so good to put them in their place. the act of MAKING u obey is so hot to him and soooo fun (he’s also into how it humiliates u by making u submit)

AGE DIFFERENCE

NOW LISTEN !!! LISTEN he is OLD !!!! as FUCK !!! he's been alive a longggg time. i think it probably turns him on to be more experienced than u not only in bed but in general. ok i will come clean i'm thinking of the conversation he has with wyll about the word "agog". like secretly he probably loves that ur so young and dumb 💗 (even if ur not actually young, just young in comparison to him) he feels some kind of superiority when he bestows his old man wisdom upon u ⚡️🧙‍♂️ also it prolly adds some "forbidden" or "taboo" feeling to the sex that he likes 🤫

BONDAGE

the fact that u trust him enough to do something like this is so hot. he likes to watch u struggle against the restraints while he teases or overstimulates u. probably the type to use silk or fluffy handcuffs lol. afterwards he’ll kiss any bruises/marks left behind (the best part)

DACRYPHILIA

I ALWAYS SAY THIS IM SORRY but since he has that sadistic side i genuinely think he's into seeing u cry. the sounds/faces u make and seeing u reduced to such a vulnerable state. will try to overstimulate u to the point of tears so he can wipe them off ur face and make u clean them from his fingers hehe 💗

GALE

TEMPERATURE PLAY

OF COURSE this mf is using magic for this. he'll get pretty creative with it too— ooh wait bondage using ICE restraints??? yes ??? no ??? can he do that ??? anyway. he will tease a lot by switching between hot and cold, mostly because he loves watching how u react. likes if u use it on him too but not as much as he likes using it on u.

EXHIBITIONISM/VOYEURISM

i think he’s the type of dude to want to watch u touch yourself. and vice versa. will also want to jerk off while watching clone!gale fuck u. he’ll want to fuck in places where u guys might get caught too, mostly because he wants to show u off and make other people envious

SEX TOYS

^^ like i said before he’ll want to watch u use toys on urself, also might like it if u let him tell u how to use it. he’ll use some too, but usually only if u want to watch him use it on himself (or if u use them on each other obv). he doesn’t really use them much alone. the exhibition part is what’s most exciting to him

FACESITTING

probably one of his favorite positions honestly. he just really likes to eat u out and he’s soooo good at it. loves the feeling of ur weight on his body and how u grind against his face. it also gives him lots of access to ur thighs so he can squeeze and kiss them 💗💗

CLONING

i already mentioned how he’ll watch clone!gale fuck u. but he will also want to tag team/double team u with clone!gale 😭😭. can he do clones of other people? if he can he might also like making a clone of u too. that would be the craziest foursome ever holy shit LMAOO imagine getting fucked by URSELF (he would be so into watching that honestly that’s a gale top 3 fantasy moment)

WYLL

BREEDING

i think he wants to have so many babies. and to stuff u full of babies. filling u up with his cum is so hot to him and he will go multiple rounds just to really get it in there LMAO also really likes the way his cum looks when it’s leaking out of u 💗

PRAISE

he loves to give AND receive praise. he will tell u how ur doing so good for him and how beautiful u look. BUT he also wants u to tell him how good he’s making u feel and how handsome he is (he’ll lowkey get kind of insecure if ur too quiet, he really feeds off of how u respond) he also likes praise in the form of noises too if ur too shy to say anything lol

ROLEPLAY

i think he would he into roleplaying a little bit. particularly him being a knight and u being his prince/princess. will want u to dress the part and everything. he really gets off seeing u in the regal get up— i don’t think he would go too overboard with the knight thing though (like putting on an entire steel knight outfit 😭😭 that would take too long to get off. he’d combust) but he’ll prolly put on a little chainmail or something if u want.

CLOTHED SEX

yeah he’s going to want to fuck u with the princess/prince fit ON. but also i think he’d really be into dry humping tbh….. like if he’s saving himself until marriage then i don’t think he sees dry humping as real sex so it’s okay ooohh that’s so naughty wyll 😈😈 probably loves to watch u get off on his thigh through ur clothes

SENSORY DEPRIVATION

THIS…… might be far fetched…… but i feel like he’d be into this. like blindfolding (yes he’d let u blindfold him too), wearing gloves when u touch each other and etc….. wait the gloves is actually so hot though like leather gloves? imagine he blindfolds u and then touches u with the gloves on…. ooh baby

FEMALE BG3 COMPANIONS

NON-COMPANIONS/NON-ORIGIN COMPANIONS

[itsa-me-lily]

Soooooo....This was not how I originally planned on how y'all shared a bed for the first time...buuuuuuuuuuuuuut this is what you got. I tried some stuff, I think they worked but not 100% sure. Honestly I could way to post this in the morning and give it another look over, but I really don't want to wait that long, and I'm worried I'll over think it.

As always here's the rest of Simon & Thimble Playlist

Here's the MPS Au Masterlist

Content warning; Death, violence, nightmare, kind of very vague description of panicking? Let me know if I miss anything

The first time the two of you actually share a bed, only one of you is sleeping. It's been nearly six months since you both signed your marriage license. And even though the time spent together under the same roof can probably only add up to a couple months, it hasn't been terrible.

Sure there's the period of growing pains, learning to co-exist with another human being when you're so used to being alone. Petty arguments and even pettier revenges. Hell you even had to go and explain your sex life, or lack there of, to the entirety of Simon's team. But even with the ups and downs, it hasn't not been worth it.

The night you share a bed, Simon has been back from a mission for a week now. It wasn't good. Really none of them are actually good, just varying degrees of what can be shoved down and ignored. Hostages were involved, a fire fight broke out. Their rescue mission became a recovery one.

Death wasn't something new to any of them. It clung to their skin. Ghost practically exuded it. He was the omen of the end to everyone who stood against him. At times he was judge, jury, and especially executioner. Ghost was a walking death. But there was something that knocked him off kilter, once the shooting had stopped and the team started the futile task of checking for survivors.

The woman looked nothing like you, really there wasn't anything similar and yet it was her eyes. Once Ghost caught sight of her eyes Simon felt something rattle in his chest. For some reason her eyes reminded Simon of yours. Only hers were dull now, lacking any spark that showed a hint of life. Simon stared for a second too long before crouching down to gently close her eyes. Ghost stood back up to continue checking. He didn't look at any other eyes.

When he came back, Simon wouldn't really look at you. His eyes would flicker to your face for a millisecond at a time, to show he was listening as much as he could, but for the most part it felt like he was trying to burn a hole into your left ear.

You just figure that he's being...well, Simon. Sometimes he went from not making a lot of eye contact to staring into the depth of your soul to make you confess every sin you even thought of committing. Just something that made him...him.

He was grateful you didn't push. He couldn't explain why he dreaded the idea of looking into your eyes. Well he could guess a theory or two, but that would mean admitting that maybe, maybe you meant a sliver of something. It all came to a head though with the nightmare.

Ghost was back in the firefight, ears ringing from the number of shots being fired and screaming being torn from people's throat. It felt like it would be unending, a vortex of sound and violence that would swallow him whole. Until it didn't. Until it suddenly became so quiet he could hear his heart and breathing.

Only...it wasn't his breathing.

His breaths weren't uneven struggles that had that wet struggling sound.

Ghost wasn't in control of his feet as he started moving forward, or when he stopped.

Ghost wasn't in control of his neck as he started to look down at what was making that struggling wet sound.

Ghost couldn't make himself stop from looking at you laying on the ground, chest making sad futile efforts to keep pulling in breath to keep you alive. Until it didn't

Ghost couldn't avert his eyes when they met yours; cold, empty, and dead.

Simon woke up choking on a gasp, fingers clutching the handmade blankets as if each stitch could shield him from the horrors his mind made him live through. He couldn't see the ceiling for minutes at least, unable to get his bearing as to where he was.

Slowly he could though. He came back to himself and to the four walls around him. To the dresser that housed your clothes and the weird little knick knacks you insisted on collecting. He felt the weight of the blankets on top of him and how they pushed him into the bed.

He came back to himself, in his bedroom, alone.

He had to remind himself that you were real, that he had just been talked at by you this afternoon. You were just in the living room. Too far away.

He probably shouldn't have done it, should have just flicked a light on, or tried to go back to sleep, but Simon had the clawing need to see you. So he got up quietly, used his stealth to make it the living room where the weak barely there rays of early morning were starting to lighten the room.

His mind couldn't hold onto any thought besides just looking at you. Sprawled out on the right side of the pull out, face half buried as you laid on your front, leg hiked up as if you were attempting a very poor man's army crawl. There was just enough space for him to sit along the head of the bed with you, and the fact he did so without waking you up was impressive. Or you were just that deep of a sleeper.

You didn't even seem to notice how intensely Simon stared at you. It was as if he was trying to commit to memory the way your eye lashes rested against your cheek, or how the way you were resting your head caused your lips to just barely pout. It should have been obvious that seeing you drool in your sleep would force him to cheer up, just a little bit. He counted the number of times your back moved with your breathing, until the number was high enough that it started to push away the idea that it would stop.

Simon spent hours just watching you. Letting the sounds of your gentle snoring and mumblings wash over him. For a second he debated seeing if he could get you to argue with him in your sleep...though...maybe he'd try that a different night.

And when the actual morning came to greet you both, Simon took extra care to watch as your eyes fluttered open. He took in the sleepy way you took in the world, eyes hazy but warm and alive.

[ryanyflags]

A List of Gender Terms !

So I disappeared for 2 months, but I finally completed this project! :D (Though I've been making some random posts talking about it, so it's not like I was really gone, or what I was working on wasn't obvious.)

It started off as me having trouble keeping track of a couple gender terms (and also not knowing they existed before, since I've never really seen people talk about them), then I thought I should make a list, and if I was going to do that I might as well post it to help other people too. Which I started out trying to make that list on Tumblr, but I found it too limiting so I moved to google docs, which I also found too limiting (I just couldn't achieve my vision, if you will), and now I know html and css.

As usual, I kinda overdid it, but I think I should be a little proud of myself. I had 0 knowledge of html and css, and 2 months later I've made my own website. (I could have made it much quicker, but I often had to take breaks, a bit overwhelmed by all that new stuff.)

Anyways, it has a ton of terms on there.

I have sections for nonbinary, abinary, midbinary, atrinary, midtrinary, androgyne, agender, neutrois, maverique, ilyagender, aporagender, outherine, kenochoric, and xenogender.

For 7 categories (sex terms, adult, general term, child, gender quality, gender-quality-in-nature genders, and spectrum / -iagender spectrum).

And they all have sources on both Archive Today, Wayback Machine, and if still existing, the original post too. (At least to the best of my abilities, and there are a couple of exceptions that I couldn't figure out.)

I did put effort into this, but it's possible I missed something. So if I made a mistake anywhere, or if anyone has any extra information to add on, or if you just have some comments, you can tell me. My ask box is open, but comments on this post would probably be fine too.

Also, I checked on a couple of different browsers, mobile too, and read up on web accessibility and checked and all that (I tried using a screen reader, I'm not a pro at it though, so it's possible I may have missed something obvious), so I hope the website itself is useable. But if there's any bugs there, just tell me (it'll be appreciated).

I'm also thinking of making another compilation, but for flags (for all of the terms listed here), and maybe orientations too, but maybe later haha

I also don't know how to write a image id for the top picture, if anyone wants to write to one I'll add it.

-

Below the cut is a short little video scrolling through the site.

[andcars]

# 𝗖𝗦𝟱𝟱 ─── A GUIDE COOLING DOWN MASTERLIST . . . REQUEST ME . . . TAGLIST . . . AO3 . . . PATREON GUIDE

IT'S TIME TO GET AWAY from the singaporean heat. after the race, you and carlos decide to go off to a beach together. at least the wind and the ocean breeze is letting you cool off. carlos has other plans though. ────── original prompt req.

PROMPTED DIALOGUE . . . # “We’ll only be caught if you’re loud” PROMPTED TAGS . . . # degradation kink, size kink, just the tip ADD. TAGS . . . # quickie, public sex, beach sex, it is not just the tip, established relationship, husband carlos sainz WORD COUNT. . . # 1.5k

────── AO3 VERSION

After Singapore, both of you could afford getting cooler now. The heat after the race was manic, so you and Carlos are off to somewhere to cool down. Nothing extreme, really, you both decide to chill on the beach

Okay, sure, it wasn’t totally off the heat. But under the umbrella, Carlos relaxing right beside you, it is cool enough. 

There were little to no people here. Both of you found a beach a few countries away from the crowd. And the wind is cool and refreshing, just the right amount to enjoy this day.

“Cariño (dear),” he says, slightly mumbling beside you. He’s on his chest, face on the chair and enjoying the coolness on his back. “Can you put some sunscreen on? I don’t think I put them on earlier.”

Sighing, you stand from your comfortable position. As you sit on the edge of his chair, you’re already regretting agreeing to go to the beach. “You’re making me your slave.”

“No, you’re my wife, and you love me,” he chuckles, “Please? I can put the cream on your back later too.”

Splattering the lotion on your hands, you get to massage it on your husband’s back. You can feel the tenseness of his muscles, the hard edges of his shoulders. The curve on this back was so good too.

He hummed. “I like that.”

“Good for you, amor (love),” you hum, trying not to get distracted. “Are you getting some on your front as well?”

“Actually—” Carlos sits back up on his knees, pulling you to lay down on his chair instead. “I feel cold without you beside me.”

“Carlos!” you half scream at him, mindful if there is anyone near you. You don’t see anyone. “I’m getting off.”

He laughs at your words and pulls you close, your hips laying on his lap. “It's been four weeks, cariño, you have to love me again.”

“You’re acting like an unfulfilled wife,” you say, “we’ve been together for more than four weeks. Way more than four weeks.”

“I am unfulfilled,” he says, pouting, “I am unfulfilled. So husband, please fill your wife?”

A laugh barks out of you. “God, you’re so stupid, Carlos.”

“And you love stupid.”

He leans down, immediately attacking your neck with his lips. It’s ticklish. You can’t help the giggles that come out of you. Carlos is gripping on your hips as you squirm underneath him.

His lips trail behind your neck, “I’ll just fuck you quick. Just give me a good moment.”

“You don’t think you can wait?” you raise an eyebrow. 

He says, “I miss you too much. No one is here.”

“Just because that no one is here doesn’t mean—ugh. You, Sir, have an exhibitionist streak.”

He laughs and you feel it rumble in his chest. “You know I don’t like it when you say big words. I call it… Loving you publicly.”

“Jesus, you sap.”

Carlos pulls the string of your panties, your swimwear coming undone below you. The hit of wind on your pussy is shocking. You let out a shiver, shying your face away.

“Fucking hell…” you groan, feeling his trunks tent below you. The man isn’t even phases, acting like you’re fucking in the safety of your home.

“Just—fucking hell, just the tip. I don’t want to clean up, okay?”

He hums in response, which isn’t reliable at all. Before you could say more, he goes to kiss you. Shutting you up must be the quickest solution to him.

With hurried movements, he pulls down his briefs just so that he could let his cock out. You shiver as you feel it slap against you, moaning as you can already remember how it feels inside of you. Stretching you out, reaching deep inside you, twitching cum out—

Fuck. Carlos' finger caresses your vulva, feeling the wetness that’s gushing out your core. He puts his finger there, feeling it spreading it around. 

Before you could tell him anything, he pushed two inside. “You’re still so loose,” he moans. He’s mumbling on your lips, smiling and kissing you hard. Pulling away briefly, he looks down to see where his fingers are. “Taking it good. You like it when I use you like this—”

“Carlos—”

“You know I’m right. My little wife is such a good slut for me,” he bites your lips, pushing his tongue against you with a sigh. His fingers speed up, rubbing inside of you that  gets you to curl up. He swallows down your moans with a lick of your lips and a moan.

He spreads those fingers out, making sure that you could take even the head of his cock. You try not to think about if he’s actually just going to put the tip in. You pray so. The tissues in your bag next to the both of you are remembered. You have a short moment, thinking about ruining the mood a little to reach into it.

He doesn’t give you an option, pressing his feet down to the sand as he towers over you. His large body easily covers you, blocking you away from sight as his arms around your head. The tip of him is pushing in, he grunts as he feels you envelop him.

“Fuck… Carlos,” you moan, pulling away from the kiss to push your head back. There’s a stretch as he pushes in, letting you take an inch of his cock in.

“Shit, just get off,” you moan, reaching below him to work the rest of this shaft. He lets you, but he doesn’t lay there and take it. Holding you still, he fucks shortly into you, only keeping the tip in as requested. 

“You wanted me like this?” he says, breathing heavily as he thrusts tentatively. “My cock fucking fills you up so much that you can’t even take anymore? Cariño, you’re drooling for me. You want my cock inside of you, not just this.”

Fuck. Your hand goes still and simply takes his thrusts, simply giving him an extra grip to fuck into. Carlos doesn’t seem to mind. He goes silent above you, focusing on getting off. With a free hand, he puts his fingers on your clit and starts stroking. You mewl, arching your back a little. The movement pushes more of his cock inside.

“Mi puta (my whore)” he groans, hips staggering a little. “So tight. I can feel you, amor. You’re so fucking tight.”

You debate about it again. Having to clean yourself up would be so tiring. But Carlos looks like he’s about to pass out if he doesn’t get his cock inside of you.

Wordlessly, you look away and twitch your head up. Carlos sees it, you know he does. Because the next moment, he has your legs propped up on his shoulders and his cock pushing in. You maon, but you quickly go to bite your lip.

“Come on,” he whispers, “Be quiet, amor. You said I will only take it quickly. Or do you like my cock too much?”

His groans are loud on top of you. “You like it when I fuck you good like this? Make you a whore where everyone can see? Fuck, amor, you’re tightening on me and you pretend to not like it.”

He fucks into you fast, the stroke of his cock short and yet hitting your spot every time. With a hand over your mouth, you keep yourself from being too loud. Out of embarrassment, you don’t even want to go ahead and check if someone is looking at you. It’s too fucking embarassign.

Yet here you are, legs spread for your husband in the middle of a beach. Nothing hides you from the rest of the world. 

‘Showing his love publicly’, your ass. He’s hammering into your pussy harder than you do behind closed doors. This man loves taking you where everyone can watch. And you’re kinda into it too.

The constant pace on you puts you close, your orgasm imminent. You moan it out, “Carlos, baby, I’m gonna fucking cum…!”

“Fuck, yes! Take it!” He cradles you closer, pushing you chest to chest as he fucks you like a rabbit. It’s intense. You feel your lip bleeding from how much you’re trying to hold the noise in. He moans, “Can’t even keep quiet, not when I fuck you dumb like my puta (whore), agh—”

With a few more thrusts, you can feel him cum inside of you. Your inner walls are covered in his cum,not letting a single drop outside of your pussy.

He smiles, pulling himself up as he pushes his hair back. “I told you I’d put the cream on you.“

“Jesus Christ, Carlos!” You want to punch him. He only laughs and helps you clean up. It’s the least he can do after cuming inside of you like that.

When you leave the beach, the woman at the bar doesn’t make eye contact. You don’t try to force one either. Meanwhile, Carlos is happily behind you, carrying all of your things. Little shit.

🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . woooo! carlos sainz is back for another one . i actually have a good amt of carlos requests which is fun. alsooo announcement coming soon and i may be posting more . trying to post anyways . will be juggling requests n other fics 👍👍👍 . ˎˊ˗ ᝰ. ──── 📨 @delululeclerc @hiireadstuff @bicchaan

you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡

[nyxindustries]

Want It Need it | Rick Grimes

Fandom: The Walking Dead (TV show)

Pairing: Rick Grimes x Reader, X reader insert, Rick Grimes X Y/n, Rick Grimes x Fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT SMUT, Sexual intercourse, Rough sex, Kinky sex, Name calling “degradation” (if you really squint), Oral Sex, Explicit language and Explicit Sexual Content, Soft Dom! Rick Grimes, Sub! Reader.

Word Count: 2000+

| Masterlist |

When the apocalypse happened, you were just 20 years old. You were scared out of your mind then you meet a group, a pretty awesome group on the way.

Getting stable at the prison and everyone getting ready to go on hunt. You were the youngest adult only at 23 years old.

You looked up to the group leader whose Rick Grimes. He’s quite amaizng to you and he had his downfalls and ups but that made him human and a better leader.

Walking around the prison as you saw Glenn and Maggie.

"Hey love birds!" You say and Maggie chuckled as he hands you your supply bag.

"What? Wanna join?" Maggie jokes and you laugh.

"Oh! Don’t tempt me with a good time!"

You say and she laughs as Glenn rolls his eyes playfully at you

"No no no I like it the way it is!" Glenn adds on and you laugh more as you smile.

"Thanks for my bag Maggie" you say and she nods as she began walking away with Glenn.

Throwing your bag over your shoulder as you pull your tank top down to adjust your ripped black pants as you saw Rick in your view.

Hearing Daryl rev his bike up and you wave to him.

"Hey pretty little lady!" Daryl yells and you laugh.

"Oh Good morning pretty boy" you say and Daryl smiled as he walks up to you, feelings eyes on you, looking around and saw Rick staring at you then looking away.

"You know keep calling me that people are gonna think some things…" Daryl says as he takes the cigarette from his lips as he grabs a wrench and sits on the concrete floor.

Sitting on the bike as Daryl looks up at you with a smirk.

"Hey be careful"He says and you nod

"I will be or what? Mad I can’t ride you like this" you say jokingly not noticing that Rick was right behind you.

"Oh whoa. I’m- Did I interrupt something?" Rick voice says, scaring the hell out of you, which made Daryl laugh as you turn to Rick, instantly getting off the bike.

"Oh no! You didn’t! I was just joking!" You say and Rick nods as he smirks at you.

"Council meeting happening in cell block B in 10. Be there." Rick says and you nod as you look at Daryl as he puts his tools down.

"Somethin’ happen." Daryl says as you watch Rick walk away, the council got created with original members like yourself, Daryl, Rick, Michonne, Herschel, Maggie and Glenn and Carol. You were all the trusted ones to Rick especially after his wife died. Rick leaned on you the most even though you couldn’t or knew how it felt to lose the love of your life. Right after that the Woodbury attack and taking in refugees along with people that survived. It became a community and quite large one.

Walking with Daryl inside the cell block as you saw Tyreese and few other people you learned to trust and love like family along. Hugging Tyreese and Sasha as they smile at you, then frendily waving to Bob and everyone else you passed.

You are quite known probably because of your smile and go lucky attitude. You felt like even tho the world ending and everyone losing something and hurting like you are, you have to be something to one of these peopl. So you smiled and let people trust you to them feel better and to laugh, your great leader when need to be. You took care of the children in the camp as well either giving up your rations for them or going out their way of playing with them.

You couldn��t help shake those lingering eyes especially when you talked to people especially like Tyreese or Daryl, even with Glenn and Maggie, those eyes that would burn holes into the back of head would watch and then stop once you stop talking to them. You never figured it who or what it was. It’s been happening lately and made on guard too.

Going to the cell block as it’s completely empty besides the council members.

"Finally the two of you arrived" Maggie says and you stick tongue out at her childish making Daryl laugh as you sit down.

"Okay, We have problem lately we’ve sending too many groups out and a lot of people aren’t coming back…We’ve tried using our strongest member abut a lot of you guys can handle so much. We barley have crops, there not growing." Rick says and everyone quiet.

"How about we do rotation of 5 once a week and if need to be Twice a week. It could be me , Daryl, Maggie and Glenn and Sasha for an example and we go out for thre week. We all trust each other and we all work together and we’ll know we will make it back alive….Next week a different group and so on…So we don’t use up all our good people to survive." You say and everyone looks at you.

"For the crops, I could help with that Rick, I grew up on a farm and my daddy loved growing his own food, I know few tricks." You say and Rick nods.

"I’ll take you up on the help and that’s good idea but we should plan that out more and see who works well with each other if we’re gonna do rotations like that for supply runs." Rick says and you agree.

"Oh what about the water source? It hasn’t been the greatest. The water been murky and brown and we’re all getting really thirsty lately." Carol adds on and Daryl sighs.

"I’ll got cheek out the creek nearly by and see if anything happened there and the rain water sprout too. " Daryl says and you nod.

"I can help with that too. Before the end of the world I was a Engineer major in college…I could fix something up for the rain water and add a homemade purifier if I get the right supplies. I did do the water lines we have with what we been showering and see the system their working on." You say and Glenn smiles

"I can totally help you that, Miss.Smarty Pants. I help build that system so most definitely can help."Glenn says and you nod in agreement.

"Great. We head out to the creek tomorrow then." Daryl adds on as he places his hand on your knee and you instantly felt eyes burning into you. It made you look and seeing Rick staring directly at you, making you nervous to swallow right now, it brought shivers to you.

This is what you’ve been feeling since you got here and meet Rick and this group. You thought it was Daryl at first but no.

"Yeah sounds good." You mutter out to Daryl

"Any other matter we need to deal with?" Maggie asks and Rick shakes his head and walks away without another word or a missed beat in his steps.

"Great. I’ll check the water today and see what it looks like and let you guys knows." Carol says and you nod as you began walking away with Glenn Maggie and Daryl.

"Does Rick seem to be acting werid today?" You ask quietly to them and they simply shake their head "no".

-2 months later-

You fixed the water supply but it’s still a work in progress and the crops are growing pretty good especially now that’s it’s into the warmer months. After the few tricks you showed Rick it’s been golden especially with the warmer seasons head now.

It’s late night and everyone turning in for the night at the moment.

Seeing Rick walk up to you, making you smile Rick and yourself got considerably close to each other within the past couple months especially helping him and Carl with the crops.

"Hey Rick." You say and he smiled at you.

"It’s getting late. Why are you still out here?" He asks and you nod as you look off as he stand next to you.

"I’m taking Sasha shift as gaurd tonight…she wants to spend some time with Tyreese and talk to him about what happened with the supply run." You spoke quietly making Rick nods.

" yeah that’s good. That’s good." Rick says and you nod.

"I want to talk to you about something…private." He says and you nod.

"Okay, now?" you ask and Rick nods, you can tell he’s nervous about something.

"Yeah what is it?" You ask Ri k shakes his head a she pulls you along heading towards the guard tower that’s not destroyed and where people keep watch.

"Whoa Rick clam down" you say as still pulls you along as you and him get into the guard tower. Looking at the empty gaurd tower as look at Rick now.

"Why did you drag me all the way I’ve there?" You and and Rick just stared at you.

"Are you with Tyreese ?" he asks and you stare at him in shock.

"With Ty? What do you mean by that?" You ask confused and very concerned for Rick at the way he’s talking and walking back and fourth.

"Are you fucking Tyreese?" He asks and you stare at him with a blank face.

"No! No I’m not! In what world did you get that from?" You ask

"Just wondering you and him pretty close to each other like you do everyone other guy in the camp." Rick says and you gasp

"Are you calling me a sl-" You ask him.

"No no no no no" Rick shakes his head, you can tell thoughts are just flooding his head and he’s doesn’t know how to deal. Rick wiping his face as he licked his lips glancing at you.

"Rick what’s wrong with you? Talk to me" You ask as you grab onto him making Rick look at you. Rick grabbing your face roughly as he kisses you softly.

Being frozen in spot as you felt his lips, your heart beating in your chest.

Slowly kissing him back as you grab his face as he kissed you more passionately and his hands traveled down to your ass squeezing tightly.

"Is this okay?" He asks pulling away slightly from your lips and all you could do is grab his face.

"It’s perfect." You say and kiss him more making him push you against the watch tower wall.

Rick taking your shirt off and kissing your breasts softly as he snaps your bra off with one hand.

Rick staring at your breasts as all he could do is smile making you blush in return. "You’re so fucking beautiful." He whispers to you.

His mouth meets them quickly marking them with his teeth and hard sucks on them.

Rick hands going down to your belts loops as he toys with them as he kisses you softly. His hand slipping underneath your pants reaching your pussy as his mouth quickly switched to one breast and the other.

Rick slowly pushing his two fingers in you making moan softly. Rick smirk even more as he pulls your panties down and lifts one of your legs onto his shoulders, placing you tighter between him and the wall of the watch tower.

"Fuck!" You moan out as Rick began thrusting his fingers quickly and his mouth meet with your clit quickly too.

His mouth to your pussy, licking your wetness in long thick strips. Finding his hair once more and pulling softly. He kissed around the clit, his licks sending you pleasure. Rick pulling you closer as he flicks and licks you in the areas most pleasurable areas, you didn’t know existed on you.

"Fuck fuck fuck, RICK!…please…please" You moan out loudly as your back arch more away from the wall as you grip Rick hair tighter as he began moving his finger again as he suck on your clit.

You weren’t sure how much you can take of this. You never felt anything this and knowing it’s the man you been in love with for months, making you feel this, sent you over the edge.

"Cum for me, sweetheart." Rick growls as he pulls away slightly from you and all you can do is just babble and moan due to the pleasure.

Squeezing your eyes shut as you breathing hitched and all you can do is yell "I’m cumming." Making Rick start thrusting his fingers even more in you. Rick lifting away from in between your legs as he lick his lips with a satisfied smirk. Staring at him with heavy breathing as he smiles at you.

"On the floor now." He says and you simply nod.

Rick smirking as he watched get the ground and that’s when you realized their bunch of blankets and you smirk softly, looking towards Rick.

The fucker planned this.

Getting in your knees in front of him as you began undoing Rick buckle as you lick your lips.

"Look at you…no more Ms.innocent anymore." Rick chuckles

"I never said I was innocent" you giggle out with a smirk on your face, that just make Rick stop you and push you to the blankets.

Rick getting onto of you with a wide smirk now as you wrap your legs around his waist. Rick kissing you softly as michevous shined in your eye.

Rick giving the same look back as he positions himself perfectly and slowly pushes in you.

"Fuck….Shit, Rick!" You groan out Rick thrusting his cocks in you slowly and he quickly picked up pace.

Moaning as Rick hand went to your throat and began choking you slowly making you moan out more the best you can as you felt Rick other free hand smack your breasts lightly.

Rick pulling out quickly as he flips you so easily onto your stomach, pulls your arms to your back, holding them in place as he slips his cock back into you and starts slamming into you now.

Rick slamming into you, as you began moving your hips with him, moving together with him as she slams in you.

"Fuck baby! You feel so good." Rick groans as he lands a solid slap on your ass making you jump in pain and pleasure but god you loved it. Rick landing few more hard slaps on your ass making your ass red and sore now.

"Please more." You moan out as Rick slapped your ass more before he grabs your hips and pulls onto his cock harder and began slamming into you as the noises of meeting your skin were loud and filled the tower.

Clenching around Rick as he knew your so close. You felt it bubbling up in your lower stomach.

"Fuck fuck!" You scream out as Rick pulling out again as you whimper at the lost of his cock.

Until Rick flips you again on your back.

"I want to see your face while you take all my cum." Rick utters out as his hand went back to your throat squeezing your throat just the way you like it, cutting abit of airflow, making smile slightly in response.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK!" You scream out now, clenching tightly around Rick cock now.

"Come on baby. You can do it. Cum for me baby." He says as he slams harder and faster.

Nodding with each thrust as your arms wrap around Rick and pull him close to your chest as your legs wrap around him.

Rick groaning as he kisses your neck gently. Your legs began getting more shakey as you began cumming all over Rick dick but that didn’t stop him.

"Did I tell ya to cum?" He says in your ear sending almost chills down your spine but it went straight to pussy as you shake your head submissively.

"Say it." Rick growls at you.

"No you didn’t." You say and Rick nods.

"Mhm you’re right about that." He says as he began slamming into making your grip the blankets tighter, but he soon stops as he flips you again to your stomach.

Lifting your ass as he shoved his dick back into you as he grabs our hair and pulls your head back to his shoulder as his hand reached around for your neck as he squeezes watching your face contort in more pleasure.

Becoming a Moaning mess and sensitive as you can tell Rick close as he slams into you, his cock twitching in you as he now hits your g spot, sending you over again. Cumming against his cock again as you felt warm cum in you, making you smile as Rick slowly pulls out.

"Fuck that amazing." He says and you nod as Rick pulls out and lays next you, pulling you close.

"I needed that for months." You say and Rick nods in agreement.

"Me too baby."

"And I would love to do it again." He says and you nod in agreement as you felt his cum drip out of you.

"Oh me too. I could go for another round" he says and you nod.

"Don’t tempt me baby." He says and you laugh as you kiss him slowly getting onto of him.

"Seriously the whole prison gonna hear us now." He says making you laugh as you kiss his neck softly.

[pokegyns]

alright so an argument i’ve recently had with a particular person on here is what initially motivated me to make a post about this, but it’s something that’s overall been bothering me a lot in trans spaces, so i have decided to talk about it.

it’s a known fact that trans people are very sensitive to any talks of biological sex, and that they refuse to analyze or hear out any form of sex-based oppression, however sometimes this discomfort can truly delve into a more dangerous territory. if we cannot talk about sex-based oppression, we cannot have feminism. something that has seriously been circulating around trans spaces recently is a very serious form of sex-based oppression denial, one that crosses the borders of “i’m uncomfortable with talks of biological sex because i’m dysphoric”. the outright refusal to acknowledge that female people are legitimately oppressed in ways that male people never will be, the outright denial of deathly forms of misogyny such as medical & reproductive misogyny that systemically only harm those born female, bold & vocal statements such as “transmisogyny is worse than misogyny” [why are you borrowing & coining a word that originates in *misogyny* if you are going to blatantly & boldly undermine the existence of misogyny?]– those aren’t harmless statements, and are actually actively contributing to the medical negligence of female bodies. they are supporting the continuation of this mystification of female bodies, the underresearched nature of female bodies; by refusing to acknowledge the very factual reality of the male body being seen as default, creating fallacies, hypothetical situations & people, engaging in whataboutism & overall denial of reality, to support their weak arguments of female oppression not existing on its’ own & genuinely asking questions such as, “what makes an afab person more oppressed than an amab person?” [but then again continuing to use the word “transmisogyny”, when, by their logic, the word would be an oxymoron, since they do not recognize misogyny as an actual axis of oppression], they are essentially saying, “medicine is correct for neglecting the female body, following the male model as the default, and should continue doing so”.

“what makes an afab person more oppressed than an amab person?”, they ask. “there isn’t some inherent oppression faced by afabs!”, they shout. well, i’m about to answer their so kindly articulated questions, although i’m very aware they are going to dismiss my words as bigoted attack against transfeminine people, as bio-essentialist propaganda, and “terf shit”. although male people absolutely can & do face sexual assault & rape [and the rates of prostituted & sexually exploited & brutalized trans women are alarming; which is something that should most definitely be discussed in feminist circles, as it is an issue of transmisogyny, which is equally damaging & oppressive], the ability to be impregnated is an additional vulnerability. the ability to get someone pregnant puts you in the privileged position here, no matter how uncomfortable that makes you feel. next up, female puberty is a very traumatic experience, as is female socialization. the stigma surrounded around “girlhood”, being locked away from freedom while seeing all your male peers enjoying a childhood of leisure– how is this not an advantage? add on the societal stigma around growing breasts, getting your period, developing a more adult-ish female body type– all of those are female-specific issues [trans women can add their insights about their experiences with hormone reassignment therapy & share their struggles with gender childhood trauma & unique discomfort with socialization + forced/unwanted male puberty, and their insights are more than welcome & appreciated]. furthermore, female infanticide is still unfortunately a form of oppression that we have yet to end, and bringing up the homicide of trans women is not at all comparable to this. a parent does not know their male infant is going to be sex incongruous, and this very much protects the male baby from being aborted or literally femicided after birth for being female, which is, quite literally, tangible proof of female-specific oppression existing on its’ own, starting even before or from birth, without any other accompanying & contributing factors. to add on, female genital mutilation is likewise still a sexist practice that is yet to be stopped. as is the existence of child brides. as are abortion bans.

strawmanning & using whataboutism, such as “there are cis women who cannot menstruate! there are cis women who cannot get pregnant! there are cis women without uteruses! there are cis women without *insert female organ*!” is not going to negate the fact that *trans women inherently remain without uteruses*. it is not going to negate the fact that historical medical misogyny, such as the misogynistic claim of “female hysteria” was intrinsically linked to uteruses. it is not going to magically make trans women the primary victims of the abortion bans. it is not going to negate the reality of negligence of female bodies in the medical field. it is not going to negate the historical reality of female people being unable to open their own bank accounts up, and male people of all sorts being able to. in no way am i saying that medical & reproductive misogyny are the only sorts of misogyny, nor am i claiming that period stigma is *the central* aspect of misogyny & *the deciding factor* to who experiences the worst of misogyny; all i’m saying is, that even female people who personally cannot menstruate/don’t have specific female sex characteristics/are intersex– still are systemically affected by medical misogyny & period stigma. trans women can experience female-specific misogyny when assumed to be female, medical misogyny is not the only form of misogyny nor is it the most important one, trans women can & do experience social misogyny, economic misogyny, cultural misogyny– but they are not experiencing medical misogyny. that being said, medical transphobia can absolutely be deathly, and should not be ignored in feminist discussions.

it is not a violent threat to your humanity to acknowledge that oppressed people are oppressed in different ways, holy fuck. it should not be seen as a direct attack against a minority group to analyze intersectionality & different forms of bigotry. we all have experiences that are equally valuable & we can all equally contribute to the fight against oppression, with all of our differing struggles & diverse battles. neither oppression is worse. both are fucking bad, and both suck equally, having both overlaps & differences in their manifestation. you just have to realize that you sometimes are, in fact, the privileged one. cis women may be at advantage in other situations, but you are at advantage in other situations. we all need to be good allies to each other. medical neglect of female people is real, but so is the medical neglect of transfeminine people. they manifest in different ways, which isn’t dangerous to point out, and it should be pointed out. neither is inherently worse or more traumatic & important than the other. both are oppressive to the core, and both stand in the way of feminism & anti-patriarchal action. it’s not going to fucking kill you to just be mature for once. i promise you.

– mod zoroark

[dinkyshield]

god forbid maria has an outfit more akin to the hookers of the fucking 1980’s which is when the creator of sh2 wanted the game to play out. as much as sexualization is important to maria it is not her core aspect, as said before by fucking mashairo ito who designed maria. Edit, I know Maria wasn’t made by him but certainly the outfits produced for her were designed and picked by him. Seeing as he’s the designer not just for the monsters but for all of the characters, hence why Ito wanted Maria’s style to be more akin to that of the 80’s. Countless pictures and sources for sex workers or the “racy” fashion of the 80’s is more like the outfit given to Maria.

SH2 has no set date but given the fact that the vehicles shown in the gameplay don’t look modern at all or even that of the 90’s, it’s likely that Bloober team decided to go with the concept of it all being in the 1980’s or late 70’s. This is just personal thought given from the fact that there are several available interviews with designers, producers and those on Team Silent all sort of going in the same direction.

god forbid angela looks like a 16-17 yr old which is what bloober wanted to do considering they’re using more of the original plans for sh2 rather than the game we got which mind you, had a fuck ton of limitations bc of the platform it was made on

Edit: With Angela’s age, I know she’s 19 but that’s not originally what was wanted for her. Due to her being a victim of CSA her original concept was that of a 16-17 yr old rather than a 19 yr old. We’ll have to see until the game comes out to see if Bloober decided to add that detail into the game now. Given that those topics are more heavily broached in modern media which is what SH2 wanted to originally delve into but had to cut out.

Maybe i’m wrong and yeah you can piss on this post all you want but as someone who’s heavily into 80’s concepts and a big fan of silent hill, i just had to stomp on people that for some reason want Maria to be naked and that Angela I guess is icky (???)

I love Maria’s new design considering it isn’t directly ripping from christina aguilera and also, it’s very obvious they’re going for realistic presentations of the characters rather than idealized concepts.

and god forbid they look like real people and not supermodels.

[beforetimes]

what's irritating about jean's character in the original trilogy is that when she's first introduced through her interaction with senator kelly in x-man (2000), she's very clearly depicted as an intelligent and capable woman. it's very easy to assume that she's the de facto face of the school because she went as a spokesperson for mutants despite charles also being in the crowd.

so to take this character we become acclimated to independent of her relationship with other characters and to suddenly switch-up to have her become a plaything for scott and logan to fight over is very jarring. and i'm not trying to say that i thought she could only be discussed in the context of her relationship with logan and scott but outside of that initial scene where she's speaking up for her fellow mutants, there's very little care given to her as a character.

in x-men (2000), 90% of her dialogue feels like it's solely dedicated to this flirting game going on between her and logan. she barely feels like a character and exists solely to be a roadblock or the 'sexy lamp' archetype in the movie. we just barely see her at all. i feel one scene where her presence would've made sense and built up more of her character would be where storm goes to speak to senator kelly so he's not alone when he dies. since we're introduced to kelly through an argument with jean, wouldn't it be a full circle moment to go back to him conversing with her before accepting his death and they both make peace with each other? i just feel they really wasted her character in this first film.

i feel like in x2 (2003) they became somewhat aware of the criticism (i'm assuming as much at least) because she exists as a person outside of the context of her relationship with logan and scott. but even then it's very little and the most we learn about her is she's conflicted/having trouble concerning her powers and wants scott.

now, at the end she has her moment of nobel sacrifice where she knows the only way she can save everyone is by dying herself. and it feels like an incredibly shoehorned in last-minute decision to get her out of the way as well as having something to point at to say 'see, she has more depth here! would a shallow character do this?' which like, if executed right could have given her more depth. but at this moment in time the only reason we're sad about jean dying is because logan and scott are sad. not because we lost a particularly fleshed out character.

even at the end of x2 where charles gives this speech and declares she made a choice to save everyone at her own expense in the attempt to add some posthumous value to her character in the series, 'her choice' is immediately co-opted by logan to centre around the two male love interests again. i don't understand this insistence that jean grey can not exist as a character without having her tied back to logan and scott in every aspect again and again and again.

x-men the last stand (2006) is the worst of the trio for her character. boiling her down to this character who kills scott, tries to manipulate logan with sex, has a dark alter ego, and kills the man who raised her feels like a blatant attempt to just entirely ruin her character to make people who might have even liked her a bit just hate her. which sounds cartoonishly evil but is genuinely the impression i got sometimes. she swung from this character who existed only as a love-interest to this seductress-type character where she tries to satiate lust or something like that through logan after killing her long time lover. and she needs to be 'put out of her misery', cycling between this evil sexual version of herself and this innocent sad person that's appealing to logan to fix everything for her.

x2 ended with her dying for everyone. the last stand has her asking logan why he would die for everyone, directly contradicting her final statement in the last movie. it's like jean doesn't even mean anything to the writers anymore. she's a love interest. she's a sacrificial lamb. she's an evil seductress with no remorse. she's only evil because of an alter ego and otherwise she's still pure and innocent. like what the fuck is going on.

she dies begging to be saved. she gets put down like a dog after logan says he loves her. and that's all we get. just ridiculous. the original trilogy treats her character like absolute garbage.

at least in the days of future past-verse she's allowed to be a character. she's snarky and has a developed camaraderie with someone other than her love interest. her powers are displayed more before immediately spiralling into her being destructive and we get an emotional connection with her built up. she feels like an actual character. dark phoenix was still awful but we at least get a more complex version of this arc which is something she takes control of.

by the time we get to dark phoenix and jean sacrifices herself again it feels much more earned. she has quite literally no other choice but to stop herself and she isn't left to herself to spiral out of control. she doesn't need someone to come in and kill her to put her out of her misery because she is a character who is repressed and angry with good reason and has people who love her more than just romantically. she has a connection with these people, a reason to save them and to give herself up rather than having to ask someone to do it for her.

like, whatever man. it's five in the morning and i was thinking about this and just got so frustrated. the original trilogy was so deeply committed to making her the shallowest character they could manage. maybe in a misguided attempt for her to act as an audience stand in with logan and/or scott? i don't know. i wish we got to know the intelligent woman we got introduced to in the beginning of the first x-men movie instead of whatever plot device she became.

[jacqulinetan]

On writing fanfiction

Exactly one person hinted that this might be helpful and I thought, well, okay, why not? tonight I have the time. I've been collecting thoughts for awhile and posting fic for more than a decade (writing longer than that!) so why not create a little manifesto of sorts.

A [not at all comprehensive] guide to writing and sharing fic - for beginners - from someone who is serious about writing fanfic as a hobby but casual about everything else:

On logistics:

Where should one write? I use google docs. Recently there's been some discussion about not using gdocs because of AI concerns, and I think if you are sharing nsfw files with other users there is a nebulous risk of losing access to the file... so I've heard. Tbh I cannot speak to the actual risk of either of these things. But I like gdocs because it's free and I can access the same doc from my phone as my desktop which is good for on-the-go thoughts. Other programs that people like are scrivener (costs money - but everybody who uses it says its worth it) and libre office (I tried this and didn't like it, but only because I'm used to gdocs). There are other programs out there, but these are the ones I feel I hear about the most. For me personally, I also have a notebook. If I'm inspired and want to get some scene or dialogue out quickly, writing analog is fastest for me and I find my thoughts flow well like that too.

Where should one post? Archive of our own dot org. There are other fic sites (wattpad) but none of them have the legendary tagging system that ao3 has - more on this later. On ao3 you will need to create an account (if you need an invitation, I'm not sure if you do, but if you do I will personally give one to you, just dm me). But you can post fic under your user handle or anonymously. When you browse the site, you will see that everything is separated by fandom, then by pairing (though non pairing/romance or 'gen fic' is fine too), then by characters involved, then other tags. I imagine it's overwhelming if you are not there a lot, but when you post, the form guides you for what to fill out (e.g. you will fill out the fields before you drop in your fic). You can always edit later if you want to change things around, but ao3 does not have an algorithm, so people will find your fic based on 1) the time it was originally posted or more likely 2) the tags that give an idea of what the story is about. I could write for ten thousand years about the merits of ao3, but like most things, you have to just get in there and try it out.

Other people who are smarter than me and know more than me can write and have written huge, in depth explanations for how to use features, and work skins, and the beautiful bells and whistles of ao3, but here is the down and dirty kind of explaining for sorting and filtering. I'm not going for nuance, I'm going for broad stroke understanding, and the nuance can come later. On ao3 fic 'metrics' we have hits (clicks), kudos (basically a 'like'), and bookmarks -- as a reader you can sort by any of these, which basically means you can move more popular fics to the top based on your preferences. And as a writer, it means you are hungry for people to kudos or bookmark your fic so that it potentially gets more eyes on it. Well, that's kinda putting the cart before the horse so to speak, if you're just getting started, but it is nice for your work to get feedback.

Tagging beyond pairing and character is important because it's how people will differentiate your fic from the others. This is things like 'canon compliant' or 'post canon' or 'coffee shop au' or 'enemies to lovers' or 'anal sex' or 'Bottom Shiro' or literally anything. Literally anything. These can be big tags ("wrangled tags") that everybody uses commonly enough that they are their own kind of category ('dom/sub') or random silly things you want to advertise with (e.g. 'blatant disregard for hoverbike safety'). You can add as many tags as you like. There are no rules to writing fanfic but tagging content warnings appropriately is important to readers, and you will find YOUR people most expediently if you tag honestly and robustly. Again, I could write 150k just about the intricacies of using ao3 as a reader AND writer, but 1) there are other folks who have done it better already/know more than me and 2) you really just gotta get in there and play around to understand it.

I am always happy to talk about fic and so if any questions about logistics arise, I will happily try to help. ao3 also has help pages and support. One random but important note is that the crux of ao3 is that it is an ARCHIVE only (so there is minimal moderation of content, to an extent ) and not for profit, so you must never ever mention money exchanged for fic there. if a work is a commission or something of that nature, that is fine, just mention it on socials or elsewhere, do not put put that in the summary or author's notes, etc as it will cause your work to be removed for legal reasons.

On writing:

The best advice for writing is the easiest to give and the most useless to receive: you really do just have to write. Write, write, write. That is the only way you will find what works for you, the only way you will get better, the only way you will tell your story. Since my goal is not to be patronizing, I will not say that. I will try to give some random and interesting tips that really get to the heart of what I feel you need to know (in my world of healthcare we call this type of information 'clinical pearls' LOL)

Getting started -

It's likely that there is a specific scene you want to write and that's why you're considering starting a piece in the first place. That's grand. All you need is that little bit of inspo!! when you're crafting a story around that point, try to drop the reader in at a time that is interesting/exciting/unexpected. if you're just starting out and all you have is the inspo scene, write that. then you can decide if that gives a full enough picture on it's own (fics don't have to be hugely long, esp in the beginning of your writing journey) or what else you want to add to be satisfied.

For me, I usually have an idea in a google doc and some bits of dialogue or random stuff that goes along with the idea as I got random inspiration. then when I want to start on a new work, I try to conjure up one scene that will get me rolling -- from there I can just keep writing what comes next. As a less experienced fanfic writer I wrote more outlines and was more methodical. when I'm writing now I don't really know how things end (except for in a very vague sense) until I'm actually writing the ending. this makes writing a lot of fun for me. when I write fic, I am my own audience and I am writing for my own entertainment.

Establish a setting -

I feel like a lot of less experienced writers fail to place these characters in a setting. If I open a fic and it's just mostly dialogue (chat fic, I'm looking at you, darling) I'm thinking ?? okay ?? are they floating in space??? what is happening?? I don't like chat fic. Give people an anchor at the very least and try to remember that the reader doesn't have your Mind's Eye and they will likely not know what you are imagining unless you explicitly state it. this might seem obvious, but writers who are good at setting are remarkably good at writing, I think. also, I do not like to open with dialogue but that's personal preference.

Magical paperclip moment -

Along the same lines as grounding the characters in setting, I like to add in what I call in my mind 'magical paperclip moments.' This is something I made up (I'm insane, btw) after being really impressed with a writer's work (I think in the hetalia fandom, I wish I knew the exact fic because it quite literally changed my life). anyways, the characters are having a conversation in the fic, and the author randomly added in a line about one of the guys playing with a paperclip while they talked. It did not move the plot forward, it was not important to the guy's character, it was just a random idiosyncrasy that made the story feel real. magical stuff. I love that.

Decide on vibes-

This is a big one for me!!! at the beginning of my working google doc I usually have some random notes, a running list of tags, etc, but I also have a category for ~vibes~ In other words, I am thinking hard about what kind of overall feeling I want the piece to have, and I am thinking about what kind of feeling I want to invoke in the reader. should this story be dreamy? Gritty? Fast paced? Emotional? And then it really helps direct the scenes because I'm trying to stay within that framework of vibes for the reader. So I try not to write just the story alone, but also the tone of the work. Also having a theme in mind, or a motif that runs throughout, can really make a work powerful

The POV has a voice-

This depends on the style of the writer, but for my work, it's HUGE. If I'm writing from the POV of one character and it is identical to the POV of another character, I am not doing a good job. through the way things are described, the tone, whether the writing is more formal vs casual, all of this can help establish the voice of the fic. the fics that I've written that are the most stand out, or the most entertaining, or the most popular - all of them have a very distinct character voice to them that matches the story and the tone of the fic, and helps characterize the pov. it's not for everyone, but to me this is the single most important thing to elevate a story into something special

Writer's block-

Getting stuck is inevitable. When you're stuck, you have two options: grind it out or let it simmer. Grinding through the block is not for the faint of heart - by this I mean literally chain yourself to the laptop and poke out word after painful word until the words start to flow. This could take hours and hours and barely result in a paragraph.... that you might scrap later. But, sometimes it can be enough to break through the block. If you let it simmer, that's more gentle - take a shower, go to the grocery store, go on a walk, etc. If that's not enough, read, watch tv, consume some other kind of media that fills your cup. Let your brain work out the block in your background processes. return to the fic when you really want to and then you will be ready.

Two things I always think of when I don't know what comes next in a story: What would I as a reader be so insanely stoked to see happen next??? and What would be unexpected or exciting here?

On community:

You can't really talk about the transformative work of writing fanfiction without mentioning the fandom as community. I have a lot of precious thoughts about this, but I will keep things brief here. Fic is shared in a dialogue with other fans - it is not sold, it is not beholden to canon, it is not for the satisfaction of the original work. People are writing purely because they want to and that is an amazing and powerful thing !!!!!

Comments -

Well we all want comments because we love to hear about how people love our take on our precious blorbos. But you have to leave comments on other folks work too. truly, as a writer, you have to. I think this is a good way to start finding your people: read fic that excites you -> leave a comment there -> see who else left comments -> read their fics -> look at their bookmarks -> read more fics -> leave more comments -> you will start to 'know' the people who like the same thing as you. you will start to have readers! you will find writers that inspire you! you will get better at writing! you will be in fandom!

One important thing to note for new to fanfic folks is that construct criticism of any kind is not welcome on fanfiction. it's not needed because the author is SHARING fic with you - I am by no means the first person to say this, but think of it like going to their house and eating their home cooked meal... if it's not to your taste, peace out. just leave. no need to let them know. this is doubly true if you don't like the content of a fic. simply leave...it's not for you, so find something that is. or make your own thing. As a writer, if someone is not following this basic fandom decorum, and they hurt your feelings with a nasty comment, you need to remember that they are the one in the wrong - they are being rude and you are justified to feel irritated or hurt. if you've tagged your own work appropriately, then you haven't done anything wrong by writing your fic.

Social media-

Two things about writing and social media (fandom circles of socials). 1. be insane about one particular thing, that will be your brand and bring you people and be fun. you don't have to do this, you could just be insane about a lot of things, but I think having one niche interest that really gets you going is good. that's my opinion! 2. never publicly discredit your work. don't say "LOL I suck at summaries" in the summary of the fic. don't put yourself down even if you have doubts about your writing....you can improve without doing that!!!

Sharing your fics in a post on twitter or bluesky is a good way to get more people to click on them, esp if you are a new writer. sometimes you will see people make pretty little title cards - they are making these on canva dot com and it is easy and free to use. I love doing this and it took me awhile to figure out how my favorite writers were making such pretty title cards for their fics. so now you know!

On concluding:

I can't imagine the resiliency of the readers who made it to this point!!!!!!!!! WOW !! Obviously I will post this with the caveat that I am just one little girlie and there are a lot of fic writing folks out there, some of them much more well spoken and more knowledgeable and better writers than me, and maybe if they posted a similar essay, it would have completely different content. that is okay and I am not sad about it. in other words, I do not pretend to be an authority on any of this, I am just a person who loves writing fanfiction and this is what I would tell a complete beginner <3 thank you for reading <3

[spctrsgf]

to his office

prompt #351 from @/lyralit: 

“I could kiss you right now.”

“You’re very welcome to do it.”

word count: 3.8k

warnings: spidey!reader (tried to make it gn, lmk if i messed anything up!), language, my shitty spanish, innuendos but no actual sex

a/n: i saw atsv and miguel was SO SCRUMPTIOUS i had to write this

“HOBIE!” You yell at the aforementioned Brit, narrowly missing a chunk of some building that is being thrown at you. “I bloody know!” He yells back, swinging from the building next to you.

You nudge your head to the left as a signal to him, releasing a quick whip of web to maneuver behind a rough, brick building to land on the side of it. Hobie wasn’t too far behind, and Gwen was soon to your left as well. The three of you heave in heavy breaths, synchronous in your silence. The inevitable stomp of the angry anomaly of the week roams in search of the very people next to you as well as yourself. 

“She just does not give up, does she?” Hobie quips, filling the silence.

“Well,” Gwen adds. “We did make her angry.”

“We? You were the one who threw a brick at her, mate.”

“And who’s idea was it to do that?”

“It was a bloody joke!”

“It didn’t sound like it–”

“Okay!” You exclaim, cutting their childish argument in half. “Enough. Back to defeating the Wannabe Crab woman, okay?”

“Right,” Hobie answers, quick to drop his anger like usual. “What’s the plan, boss?”

“We gotta trap him somewhere, but this fucking city is endless. It’ll take forever.”

“I think we gotta get her hands tied,” Pavitr says from above, nearly desticking Gwen from the brick wall in surprise. “That’s where the power is, right?”

“Jeez, Pav,” You yelp, coming down from your initial shock. “We didn’t see ya there.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for scaring you, but seriously. I think we gotta tie her hands!”

“He’s right, that would solve all the cement throwing we got going on.” Hobie agrees, shifting to lean on the windowsill next to him.

You tilt your head. “Do ya think webs’ll be strong enough for that one?”

“Ours? Nah.” 

“True, but Miguel’s would do us a solid right now with all this.” Pav interjects.

“He’s right. We need those ever so strong webs your boyfriend has to do the job.” Gwen nudges you with her shoulder.

Your cheeks flame, and you’re eternally grateful for the silky mask you have on. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Gwen! We’re not– he doesn’t– oh my god,” You pinch the bridge of your nose as best you can through the mask. “Back on topic!”

“Seriously,” Hobie nods. “You should ask the lad to help us out.”

“Why don’t you do it?”

All you get is a shrug from him.

“Or you, Gwen? Or Pav?”

They all give you a look, a look that tells you exactly what they’re thinking.

“No. Oh my god, guys! Seriously? He doesn’t like hearing from me, anyways.”

That’s true, you firmly believe it, and you have ever since you first got to Nueva York. Being the person you are, you originally doted around the idea of talking to him, of engaging in a conversation. But, to be frank, he scared you shitless. He towered over your stature, a whopping 6’9” to your pacifying build. But, somehow you found yourself standing next to a nonchalant Hobie, watching his floating platform float impossibly slow towards the two of you after a mission. 

He’d been… you could tell right away that Miguel wasn’t the type of person to sugar coat nor was he very good at hiding the emotions that flew across his face, because oh my you felt it. You felt the trail of his scarlet gaze as he took in his first impression, you felt the razor sharp cut of disgust, felt the way his tongue ran along his accentuated canines as you rambled through your report. 

He’d dismissed you as quickly as humanly possible, opting to talk to the laid back Brit, the one who didn’t have to clear his voice every few sentences. Maybe it was a force of habit, you’d tried to reason as your head bowed to scurry out of the room. He has been working with Hobie longer, there has to be an ease between them. 

But, as time passed, Miguel remained the same. He tossed you a cold shoulder, and seemed to avoid your presence unless needed. You tried to shrug it off, to pretend like it didn’t hurt you as much as it did, but it was hard to pretend when the sting of rejection slapped as soon as he was brought up. Which actually happened a lot. 

You weren’t sure where Gwen had gotten boyfriend from that. Sure, you thought he was attractive. It was hard not to with his broad shoulders, a stark contrast to his (slutty) waist. There was something about his fangs that intrigued you, it was something you’d never seen before. And it wasn’t just the appearance that did it for you: it was that under all the anger and the rough exterior and the mask was a man, vulnerable and caring and wanting to stop what happened to him from happening to someone else.

He might be blunt and mean and pushy and all those things, but he came from a truly caring place, from a want to help. You could see that shine through in the way Gwen and Hobie and even Lyla talked about him, and you could see that in the mission notes he writes and in the slim amount of time that you were graced with his presence. 

“That’s why.” Gwen’s voice shakes you clear of the memories. 

“Wha?” You blink incredulously at her, like that would somehow shock you into understanding her sentence. 

She shoves your wrist, which hovers in front of you with the button to call Miguel in a booming orange. “Call him.”

You glare at her, but all that earns you is a tilt of the head and a not-so-encouraging punch from Pav. “Fine! Fine.”

You take a deep breath before hitting the call button. It sends off some sort of interdimensional wave towards Nueva York, and you buzz with a different type of frequency, suddenly nervous. The Miguel effect. Your brain blurts. Always nervous. You sigh and remind yourself that there are three other spiderpeople next to you as the call goes through, and Miguel’s face pops up unceremoniously in front of you. 

“What’s wrong?” Are the first words out of his mouth. “Uh, well, you see–” You start, only to be rudely cut off by his attitude. “Get to the point. I don’t have all day.”

The blunt words don’t roll off your back like normal, maybe it was because you could hear the anomaly pound, inching closer. “We need help. We need your webs, they’re stronger and can hold this guy’s claws together. He’s been tearing up the city.”

“You’re supposed to be containing the threat, not me.”

“Miguel, if you don’t get your fucking ass over here right now, all four of us are gonna be dead.”

“Doubt it.” He sounds distracted, like he was observing something else in front of him.

“Seriously? You can’t take two seconDS..!” You cut yourself off to launch off the building as the anomaly slams her fist into the spot you were rested at just a few seconds before. 

You go to follow your partners in chasing the monster away from the buildings, to yell at the stubborn man currently still on call from the watch encircling your wrist, but your spidey senses perk up and then you’re swinging back towards the anomaly. Your eyes train on a woman, not much older than thirty, running for her life from the gnarly creature above her.

You don’t think. Normally, you’re all about thinking and finding the best course of action to try and save everyone, but you don’t now. Not when you’re so short on time, not when that woman could die. You dive, holding your arms out as you beeline to the poor woman. Her face turns from fear to relief when she sees you, reaching out to grab your hand as you scoop your arm around her waist and carry her to the nearest roof.

You’re off before she can say a word, and the glance back you lend her tells you that she knows exactly why you couldn't linger and conveys the thank you she couldn’t say to your face. It fuels you, and you move quickly, pulling the anomaly farther and farther from the people. “Are you a quiet one, huh?” The anomaly’s voice is low and gravelly. “I’m always up for a little banter.” You shoot back, taking a quick left to navigate to where you see your partners waiting, hidden and ready to attack. 

“Alrighty then, let’s banter!”

“Let’s.”

“Are you expecting me to now spew out my whole plan and sob story, cus it ain’t happening.”

You shrugged. “Nah. Most of you don’t anyway.”

“We don’t?”

“No,” You shake your head, coming to a stop. “We usually have you caught by that time.”

Right on cue, Pav, Gwen, and Hobie shoot webs out, attempting to contain the anomaly. You realize, as you're adding your own webs to the mix, that Miguel must’ve hung up the phone during your little fright. “What happened with the boss? We getting that bloody help we need?” Hobie calls out, tightening his grip. “Dunno!” You call back. “Maybe he hung up.”

“Call him back, eh?”

“I- I can’t! This is harder than it looks.”

“We know!” Gwen screeches, voice strained.

“What do we do, guys?” 

“Try and hold on.” Pav’s voice is uncharacteristically dim, lacking its normal cheer.

His tone sinks into your stomach. “What if we don’t–” 

“You will,” Miguel’s voice crackles from your wrist. “I’m here. Where are you?”

“Uh–” You risk a look around as the anomaly struggles with a scream. “Open field. I can see an ocean from here, and there’s mountains to my right. Actually, I think it’s a river– we’re at a bend in it.”

“Got it. I know where you are, I’ll be there in a minute tops. Stay on the phone with me, okay?” 

“Will do.”

“He won’t be here in time.” You look up at the anomaly, her deep green eyes locked unsettlingly with yours. She yanks hard this time, and you see Gwen nearly topple and Hobie’s footing slip slightly, giving her arms more wiggle room. “Yes he will.” Your jaw sets as you shoot another web to wrap around her wrist, yanking her down onto her knees.

“You’ll lose. Wouldn’t that be crazy? Spiderman. Losing.”

“Crazy? Yeah, cus it won’t happen.” Gwen grunts from above, struggling to keep a clean facade.

“I’m almost there, cariño, hold on.”

“I am, we’re fine–”

And then you’re not. Because the anomaly bursts up in a spur of movement, effectively breaking the confinement you four had put on her. She runs forward, taking a straight track for you. You leap up, swinging away as quickly as you can. You pick through the strain on your forearms, through the cloud of fear in your head. You try to stay in the same general area you told him you’d be in, but it’s hard with the anomaly on your heels. 

“Miguel! Help, she’s chasing me, I can only keep her away from me for so long–”

“I know, I know, I’m coming. Hold on.”

But you’re not responding anymore. The anomaly swings a mighty claw straight into your abdomen, effectively sending you into the ground. Pav lets out a scream, sliding to catch you before you can slam into the grass, and Miguel knows something is wrong. You can hear his yells and Pav’s telling you to respond, but the pain in your side is excruciating and your brain feels like mush and your mouth is dry like sandpaper and your vision is tunneling into black and you try to speak but–

…

It’s very dark.

That’s the first thing you notice when you come to. It’s nice. But there’s an off putting feeling about it, like something’s lurking in the dark, and then you’re itching to turn on the lights so you can see something. “You have something covering your eyes, you do realize that.” Miguel’s smooth tone slides in from the left, decorating across the bland abyss.

Ah. So that was the problem.

Your arms feel foreign as you reach up to pull the fabric off your eyes, exposing you to the room you were in, only slightly brighter than before. “Lyla said the mask was supposed to help you heal better,” Miguel starts, and you can’t quite bring yourself to look at the man next to you quite yet. “I listened, she’s better at this than I am.”

“Am I not in the infirmary?” You question, before frowning at the way your voice sounded. You sit up, clearing it a few times.

“You were, but I moved you.” 

“Why?”

“I didn’t want you in there.” He answered bluntly, yet it lacked any substance at all.

“Why?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

You chuckled dryly. “Miguel, you moved me from the fucking infirmary to your office. I think you owe me a damn explanation.”

“No.” He turns away, slinging a web out to launch him onto his floating platform.

“Miguel–” 

“No.” The orange screens encircle him, effectively slamming his hard tone into the flow of conversation that wasn’t really flowing anymore.

You frown, half sat up in the bed that he’d placed you on. You’re frustrated, you don’t understand what’s been going on between you and him. He hated you. You’d previously established that, his vibrant reaction to your question confirmed it. But he saved you. And he moved you into his fucking office. 

Your head swims with this new information, and you flop back down unceremoniously onto the bed. Your head tilts automatically to him again, the fiery red in the bleak, monotone room. His back is to you, and he’s furiously tapping at something on one of his many screens. The boldness of his stature, the way he’s standing is so unwelcoming that you’re now sure he never really wanted you there at all.

You sit up and hop out of the bed as quietly as you can, even though you know he can probably hear you in the silence that enveloped you both. Yet he doesn’t react, he doesn’t turn and yell like you thought he might. He stayed stoically and almost stubbornly facing his screens, so you turn and slip towards the door.

Fucking say something, Miguel.

He doesn’t. You don’t know what you expected anyways. 

So you continue your walk, your path out of noose that the room brought. Yet, steps to the hallway seem harder and harder to make, like the hallway is getting longer or maybe you’re moving a lot slower than you normally do. You move to shoot a web, hoping to gain traction and move somewhat faster, but you can’t quite get your aim right– 

And then your vision is fluctuating and you start to feel unbalanced. You’re not moving. You’re moving your feet, but you’re not going anywhere. Your brain is fuzzy and the ground is getting closer than it normally is- you don’t remember being this short? “Ay, cariño!” Is exclaimed from behind you, and then something’s grabbing onto your back and pulling you back upright.

Miguel has his arm wrapped around your waist as you wobble, guiding you back to the bed and then lifting you up to sit on it. Your hands come up to rub your eyes, trying to get them to refocus. They blur and then unblur, finally resting to take in your wobbly hands, which are held out shakily in front of you. In response, you twist your hands together just enough to feel the pain of it, reminding you that you were in fact awake and aware. 

“Are you okay?” It’s then that you realize that Miguel is still in front of you. He’s got you caged in, blanketing you in his grand shadow. Your neck cranes up to reach his eyes, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t let your eyes linger during their ascent. When you meet the scarlet of his irises, you’re taken aback by the level of concern in them. Like he was actually worried about you. 

“I’m okay,” You respond, tilting your head with a smile. “Don’t worry about it.” He scoffed, but didn’t move away. “I’m not worrying.”

“If there’s one thing you’re bad at, Miguel, it’s lying.”

“I am a great liar.”

“Oh?” 

“Dios mio, cariño, yes.”

“What does that mean, anyway?,” You question, rocking backward to tuck your feet underneath your legs. “I tried to get Lyla to tell me, but she will not let the secret loose.”

He freezes. “Nothing, sorry, slip of the tongue.”

“You do realize I can just search it up, right? Would you rather me find out from the reach of the internet?”

“Not really, what if you just don’t–”

“Miguel.” You rise onto your knees, leveling your gaze with his own and resting a hand on his shoulder. “What is it? It can’t be that bad, it’s not like you’re saying you’re in love with me or something.”

“Well–”

“Right, cus that would be like…” Your words tumble over him, your brain too keen on keeping your feelings, your delusions to yourself. “Te amo? Te quiero? I’m not sure…”

“Either one.”

“Yeah, so it’s not one of those, so what is it?”

He takes a deep breath, looking slightly troubled. His face twists his face up like he’d just bit into a lemon, and then you’re panicking again.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that–”

“It’s a term of endearment,” His voice stops your apologies in their tracks. “It literally means affection, but when you use it as a nickname it’s more like sweetheart or darling. Dear is another way to say it, but you get the point.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, sorry about that–”

“Don’t be,” Your head tilts with his, following the way he turns his gaze away from you in embarrassment. “I like it.”

He meets your eyes again, curiosity and hope strung in his vibrant eyes. “You do?”

“Yeah. The way you say it is so satisfying, if that makes sense.”

“You like when I speak Spanish, huh?”

You nod, and suddenly you’re the one hiding your face from his smirk. 

“Querido, mírame.”

“Miguel–”

“Ahora. I won’t ask again.”

You sigh, glaring at him. “I don’t understand you.”

“That’s okay, you’ll learn,” He leans down and then innnn, so that the two of you are practically nose to nose. “I know you can do it.”

“Do you?” Your brain is screaming at you, making you even more painfully aware of his proximity to your face, yet you somehow manage to clearly deliver the line. 

“Mhm.”

“Well, it’s only cus I’ll have the best teacher. You.” You hit his nose with your finger, catching him off guard.

“I am happy to take that title.” 

“Good.”

He hasn’t moved. Even as the room fades into silence, he hasn’t moved. He’s still so close, like you could lean in, barely four inches, and you’d be kissing him. You can smell him, a tinge of metallic blood yet so earthy and centering. It’s intoxicating: your brain is swimming and you're struggling to keep your head above the water. 

Cariño. Sweetheart. A term of endearment. You still haven’t quite wrapped your head around that, not that you’ve been given much time to mull over it. Was that him telling you that he liked you, more than a friend? Was that a normal thing, using that term? You didn’t know, but you had a feeling that would be the best confession from him you were getting, if he meant it that way at all. You were gonna have to make the leap yourself.

“Everything okay?” His hand lands on your shoulder, a gentle reminder that you’d been staring into nothingness for what must’ve been a painfully long time for him. “Yeah,” You stumble to regain your words. “Sorry, I-” 

“Spaced out.”

“Yeah.”

He nods, smiling just enough so you could see his fangs peek out. You were caught.

“Migu–”

“I could kiss you right now, you know that?”

“Huh?” stumbles stupidly out of your now slack jaw.

“I could kiss you. You’ve been staring at my lips for the past few minutes, mi amor, whether you realize it or not.”

“I have? Oh my god.”

He chases your drifting gaze, just like you did with his. “It was cute.”

“Cute is a word I never thought I’d hear come out of your mouth.”

“Cállete, you hear me? Shut up.” 

You giggle, grabbing his hand and sliding it up to fit comfortably on the back of your neck. “You wanna kiss me, O’hara? You’re very welcome to do it.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

Now he’s leaning in, closing in those four painstaking inches to lock lips with you.

And it’s insane. Showstopping. Any kisses you had before then? Not even a fucking kiss. Sure, it was a bit awkward at first– mainly you, you suppose– but it worked itself out. Miguel must’ve really gotten into it, because once you swear he nipped at your bottom lip with those fangs of his, just hard enough to draw blood. Your hands, in the meantime, explored his mass of brown curls, previously smoothed back but released by your fingers.

His own hands nestled themselves in your hair, tugging on it just enough to draw a sigh out of you. He tastes like blood– surely yours– yet ever so homey. You lean into him inadvertently, so content in the moment. The rational part of your brain reminds you that you’d probably suffocate if you kissed him for much longer, but nothing in you cared very much about that fact at all. 

In the end, it’s him who takes a dip for air, who drags your face off of his reluctantly to gasp softly. You do the same, resting your forehead on his toned chest. His hand, still in your hair, guides you gently back up, just so he can absorb your appearance and vice versa. It’s crazy, taking him in like this. He looks so out of control, his hair disheveled and his lips puffy and his cheeks red, releasing air in quick puff puffs. You’re sure you’re not much better looking.

“Out of breath already?” He says, head tilted with a goofy sort of grin adorning his face. “I’m regaining it currently, don’t tease.” You puff back at him, dropping your head back onto his chest.

“Oh, but teasing you is the best part.”

You stab a finger into his side. “Be quiet.”

“If you fare like this, mi alma, you won’t last very long where we’re headed.”

Your head whips up, equal parts confusion and frustration. “First of all, I’m fine. Second of all, what?”

“C’mon.” he pulls you off the bed.

“Are we sure I can even–”

His arm is around your shoulders, hand clamped tightly around it to squeeze you reassuringly. “I got you.”

“Thanks.” Your smile towards him is mushy, but you couldn’t quite find it in yourself to care.

“De nada,” He smiles back, and you mentally note to tease him about his softness later on. “Let’s get all the way to home plate, huh?”

“Let’s.”

feel free to drop by my inbox anytime, everyone, before i run out of ideas