#and i was like. wh. what do you mean fatigue issues

[pochapal]

anyone else ever been hexed by a doctor before or

[atarathegreat]

Keigo Takami- Overprotective Father of One

Hawks had never planned on being a father, he never even wanted a relationship. He had enough on his plate with his long term goal of making it a world where heroes had too much downtime. And he'd seen what his father did to his mother, he feared that maybe he could end up like that. It was just easier to avoid the issues of relationships and love. So far in life, he had been satisfied enough with one night stands with strangers and the occasional fan girl that let him toy with her.

And then there was you. Something about you was different. You didn't hang off his arm, or speak loudly for his attention. When you couldn't grasp his attention, you simply went silent and waited for him to notice. Hawks always noticed you and the change in your behavior, immediately asking what he could do for you. It scared him to be so wrapped around your finger and you hadn't even tried. Were you even aware of the fact he was so struck by you? Did you do it on purpose to toy with him? He would deserve it, after all, he'd toyed with so many woman it wouldn't surprise him.

Keigo made it clear when you started dating he would not be open to the idea of having children. You were fine with that, completely understanding that he had his own preference on the ordeal. But it was different when you ended up pregnant, you could barely even tell him that you were carrying his baby. And, gods, the way he reacted after you finally spit it out.

He freaked, nearly pulled his hair out and dove from the nearest window. It wasn't lost on you that he was in shock, having heard, what to him was, the worst news. Of course, you cried, being more scared after telling him than you were before. You didn't leave your house for a few days and just stayed in bed. Keigo, on the other hand, was too busy with work. Not to mean he wasn't thinking about you, in fact you were a distraction while he was working. He didn't want kids, but for whatever reason, he loved that you were carrying his baby. Keigo had never been so enthralled by an idea, and he hated it. What did you do to him?

It all changed when you were showing your baby bump. Keigo would not leave you alone for any reason. No matter what you were doing, he was behind you. And he was absolutely smitten when you gave birth. The whole ordeal was upsetting to him, the way you screamed and he couldn't get rid of what was hurting you. The doctors wanted to clear him out of the room, his wings moving out of control and a few feathers bouncing around in reaction to his stress. You chuckled at him, taking his hand and squeezing through the pain.

The baby was the most precious thing Keigo had ever seen. He refused to set him down after getting his son passed to him.

"Kei, you can put him down, y'know?" You chuckled, too tired to really fight him after the hours you spent in labor. The way he stared down at your son, it made your heart swell in your chest, but you also wanted him to relax and put the baby down. "He'll still be here later, okay? Come help me pick a name for him."

Keigo hesitated, clutching the boy closer for a quick moment, before sighing, "Okay...yeah, you're right."

He put his son in the baby bed, sitting between it and your bed, "How about... Alex? No. No I had a neighbor named Alex. Not that." Another moment of silence passed when he smiled, "What about Akira, or Kaito?"

"I like Kaito..." You mumbled, looking over at the newborn and smiling. How could something so beautiful have had a rocky start? "His little wings were the worst part...but look at them, just like yours..."

Keigo's vermillion wings puffed up, "You think so? Do you think they'll do the same stuff as my wings do? maybe he'll become a strong hero like me?"

You chuckled again, laying back into the hospital bed. It had taken so much out of you, and Kaito's wings truly had hurt you more than anything. With a sore body and complete fatigue, you yawned, "Will you stay in here with me?"

"Of course. Where else would I go?" Keigo smiled, putting his hand over the bed to play with Kaito's little feathers. It made no sense that he would leave you in the room alone, especially when he was already so attached to the baby and you. He would rather give up his wings before he ever left that room with you still inside. "I'll be here, just get some sleep, okay, hun? I'll be right here." Keigo kissed your head, smiling as he watched over your sleeping form. You and Kaito looked so much alike when you were asleep; the way your eyebrows angled upward and your soft snores filled the atmosphere.

You woke up a few hours later to Keigo yelling. Red filled your vision before you realized it was just his feathers covering you and Kaito, who had been placed on your chest. You caught a feather, tapping it softly to get Keigo's attention as he yelled at the doctors and aides, who stood around the now empty baby bed. He turned quickly when he felt your touch, "Are you okay?"

"What's happening, Kei? Why are you yelling?" I yawned, sitting up as his feathers flew back to him, "Why isn't Kaito in his crib?"

"These assholes wanted to take Kaito to do tests on him without letting us have a say in it." Keigo growled, his pupils narrowing to slits once more, "They tried running off with him while I was dozing off."

You held Kaito close to you, running your index finger down the very small bridge of his nose to calm his crying, "What tests?"

Kaito was already showing his quirk, sure it would take a while to see what it fully entailed, but that was fine. What could they possibly want to figure out?

"Some small stuff in his DNA and genetics. They just want to make sure his quirk is going to develop properly and in a healthy way. Nothing too big. Just making sure nothing crazy is going to happen. They're just going over precautions is all." Keigo smiles and looks over at Kaito before turning back towards you, "I'm just pissed they wanted to take him without us knowing. What would've happened if I woke up and he wasn't here?"

Gods above, Keigo would've leveled the hospital just to find the small infant if he left his sight for more than a second. All the other people be damned, he would find his son. he would find your baby and return him to where he belonged at the expense of anything, even himself.

His anger melted away when you waved to him, patting the bed next to you and Kaito, "C'mere, Kei, you should relax. You've been up this whole time with me...and if anything this whole thing might be more stressful for you." Keigo sighed, relenting and laying next to you, his hand hovering over Kaito's body. "I know everything will be alright. But if something happened to this angel... Well I just don't think I could forgive myself." He looks over to you and smiles, "Thank you for being understanding with me. This has been... A lot"

If he was any other man he would've been ashamed at how easily he melted into your side. And the sound of your soft laugh, it made his feathers tingle with delight that such a sound was blessing his ears. "Those birdy genes are really showing!" You laughed, trying not to move too much and bother your baby, "Very predatorial." He had no choice but to agree, because you were right and he could feel it. Like it was a primal urge to stay around you and Kaito, to keep the doctors away and take care of you himself.

"It's strange to see how much you've changed..." You mumbled, playing softly with his hair, "How you didn't want a realtionship, didn't want any kids..."

Keigo nodded, staring at his son. It was uncanny, the resemblance that his child shared with you and him. The boys' dusty hair and wings, his pale complexion and when he opened his little eyes to show that he got his eyes from you...Keigo nearly lost his mind with how intense his emotions were being. "I...changed for the better, I think..." Keigo whispered, glaring at the doctors as they inspected the infant on you chest, "This is my family now...I'll die for it..."

Once the doctors were finished with their tests, Keigo hurried to usher them out. He couldn't wait to be able to take you and Kaito home, to keep you from doing anything for the next several years, though he could never truly stand by that. But, in that moment, he was all about you and the baby. He wasn't going to let either of you out of his sight, no matter how busy he got.

[potofstewie]

Deja Vu

The low down: History is repeating itself and for once, Kyojuro is tired.

The things to know: Reader uses she/her pronouns, Absolute angst (I kind of got teary eyed while writing this), mentions of blood, character death, this mostly takes place before mugen train , ooc shinjuro but he's a nice guy promise, Venting, sobbing kyojuro, like literally this ray of sunshine is BROKEN, a peaceful and sober Shinjuro, Y/N is literally a bg character lmao sorry, daddy issues

Pairing: Kyojuro x Reader

W/C: A WHOPPING 3.8K WORDS, MY BIGGEST ONE YET!

Words/phrases to know:

Monstuki Haori Hakama: Traditional formal garment that would be worn as simplified attire by people in the Samurai Society (during the Edo Period)

A/N: Hey you guys, I'll come clean. This one is a doozy not necessarily in length but in the emotions I tried my best to display in this one. It's true, reader is nothing but a background character and I kinda apologize for that. I really wanted to write a fic that portrays a new leaf in Kyojuro and Shinjuro's relationship and what better way than with sacrificing Y/N? Anyway, I finally made a pinned post linking my masterlist and other stuff for my mobile users. I plan on posting this and my other stuff on AO3 probably tmr as well. I hope you guys enjoyed and DO TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE PART

It was happening again. 

Kyojuro laid wide awake within his futon, puffy and reddened eyes burning the ceiling with his intense gaze. The calming silence of the night was occasionally interrupted with your pained coughs erupting from the other room. Kyojuro ran a tired hand through his disheveled mane, completely fed up with it all.

The coughing, the wheezing, the piles upon piles of tissues that were stained with spots of blood and phlegm. The never ending servings of soup, the countless doctor visits that always ended on the same confusing and irritating note. 

“It’s only a matter of time.”

Kyojuro didn’t hate a lot of things in the world, but that sentence he hated the most. “It’s only a matter of time.”

A matter of time until what? Until she gets better? Until she becomes the second one to leave them? What the hell did it mean? The situation weighed heavily on the Rengoku males, tension forever present within the household. At the beginning, all three of them would listen intensely to whatever orders and updates the doctors gave. They would each take turns administering medicine and delivering soup, massaging sore muscles that grew tired of being idle under a futon. Now, however, it was only Senjuro who listened. Kyojuro, as well as his father, continued to serve your every need despite giving up on worshiping the vague and aggravating words of the doctors.  

Your lover tried to keep his cheerful façade on display as usual, but as the days went on and the coughing grew louder and longer, his smile would falter and heavy sighs would take the place of his boisterous laughter. The bubbling fear and anger within him replaced his ever so optimistic and happy demeanor. There was no doubt that his family took notice of his change no matter how hard he tried to hide it, you included. Any time he would be with you, you would always ask the same things:

“How have you been, honestly?”

“Have you been eating?”

“Are you taking care of yourself while you’re away?”

“Something is on your mind, my love. What’s upsetting you?” 

You were easily satisfied with the simple “I’m alright, don’t worry about me.”, “yes” or “nothing is wrong my dear, honest.” You’d always give him that smile which he loved dearly before turning your back to him, returning to the warm embrace of slumber. Kyojuro’s beaming smile would always dissipate immediately when your eyes were no longer on him, fatigue tugging at his spirit. Of course something was bothering him; you were crumbling away right in front of him and he was absolutely powerless to do anything. 

On the days he would be free from pillar duties, all he could do was roam the house aimlessly like a ghost who couldn’t pass on properly. Even at night when sleep couldn’t find him, he would wander the halls. His frame would always buckle and slide against the walls, silent tears covered his cheeks every time as he curled in on himself. This all felt like Deja Vu to the flame hashira, every second he experienced was just another second he had already gone through. However this time he would be the grieving partner. He was grateful, though, that instead of turning to alcohol like his father did once upon a time, he stuck to wandering like a stray dog. 

Kyojuro grew to envy his father when your illness took a turn for the worst. He took notice of the lack of sake present in the house and the ever growing moments he and Senjuro would catch their father outside his room. He took note of how attentive his father was to your every beck and call, even to those that didn’t require him or ask of him in the first place. Even without being told he would do his damndest to ensure his would be daughter-in-law is alright. Opening the Shoji to let the sunlight flood into the room, cooking hot meals for the house and giving you the largest servings, taking up extra chores so Senjuro could keep you company. All these things Kyojuro wished he had the enthusiasm for. He loved helping you, truly, but his determination had depleted almost completely. 

Rubbing his eyes, Kyojuro sat up, a heavy sigh leaving his dusted red nose. The corners of his mouth twitched, heavy with sadness as a revelation dawned upon him. His father was probably doing this out of habit, out of fear. He faintly remembered what it was like when his mother was sick, his father doing everything he could when he had the time to be at home. He supposed that maybe doing all of these things and more was a way for his father to cope with the haunting truth that another person he cared about would die due to unchangeable circumstances. Maybe, just maybe, his father hoped that things would get better and that he wouldn’t have to relive the same pain he had once experienced; even if it wasn’t him who would take it the hardest. 

A single tear escaped Kyojuro’s fiery eyes, his hand quickly erasing it as he sniffled softly. No, the one to bear the pain the most would be him. It was his turn now, and no amount of soup and small conversations his father offered to the family’s source of light would change that. Getting up from his futon, Kyojuro wondered if there had been a curse placed upon his family. It couldn’t be a coincidence that this same situation would happen twice. Did a demon from his father’s past place a curse on the bloodline as it died to his blade? Damning every Rengoku to suffer absolute heartbreak?

Entering the dark hallway, Kyojuro silently stalked his way to the entrance, mind lost in sorrow. Staying in bed couldn’t help him and wandering the halls wasn’t something he was up for. Instead, he aimed for the fresh, crisp night air to fill his lungs and clear his mind. Oh, how he wanted so badly to purge the sickness in you and toss it to the farthest reaches of the earth. He wished to take you out to all your favorite restaurants again, to go on a picnic with you again, to bear witness to you playing with Senjuro under the cherry blossom trees again. He missed being able to kiss you during the cold winter nights that only a lover’s embrace could heat up. He could no longer give you the sweet kisses you had once pleaded for, your illness putting a stop to most intimate tokens of affection you were both accustomed to. 

As a heavy sigh left his lips, Kyojuro opened the shoji and blinked in surprise. His father, broad back facing the house and his eyes focused on the sky above, was sitting on the engawa. Legs hung over the edge, a half empty cup sitting next to its owner. Shinjuro turned around slightly, acknowledging his son.

“I couldn’t sleep.” He explained softly, turning his attention back to the dark sky, the bright moon the only thing decorating the endless dark abyss. Kyojuro closed the shoji behind him and took a seat next to his father, burning eyes gazing at the cup in suspicion before looking at his father in silent question. Shinjuro picked the cup up and slightly turned it. “It’s just water.” He said simply, resting the cup on the other side of him before resting his hands in his lap. 

“I..couldn’t sleep either.” Kyojuro said softly, hesitation ladened in his sleep-deprived voice. Although things within the house had gotten better since you entered his life and the lives of his family, Kyojuro still had a slight problem conversing with his father. You managed to change his father for the better, instead of heaps of sake littering the house only one or two bottles were kept in the kitchen before his father made the decision to get rid of it entirely once you fell ill. He started to eat with the family, although he barely spoke, only talking when answering a question or giving Senjuro or you his praises for the meal. He started training Senjuro in simple hand to hand combat, leaving the sword work to Kyojuro. He even had daily, lengthy conversations with you about an array of things; from what Ruka was like to how happy the birds seemed to be that day. 

It wasn’t easy but progress was slightly made between the father and son. His father started returning any greetings he was given, he waited alongside you and Senjuro when Kyojuro finally arrived home from a grueling mission and even confessed to him that he was proud of him being a hashira but still preferred it if he turned away for his own safety. But, all of that still didn’t quite quell the nervousness Kyojuro had when it came to him. 

“I know. That’s why you’re here, Kyojuro.” He remarked quietly, taking a sip of his drink. If he focused hard enough, he could’ve sworn that there was a twinge of tease hidden in his father’s voice.

“R-right.” He replied, voice barely above a whisper. For a few pensive moments, there was a cold silence between them. Kyojuro furrowed his wild eyebrows slightly, oh how awkward this all was! He didn’t know what to say to his father, even if he did he still wasn’t sure if he should voice it. He was in an intense battle with himself and by the looks of it, it was going to end in a draw.

One part of him wanted to vent to his father, to tell him all of his frustrations and woes about the depressing situation all of them were currently in. He wanted to bawl and curl up by his father, have his hot tears soak through the clothing on his father’s shoulder. He wished to be a little boy again, to trip and scrape his knee and have his father pick him up like he used to and comfort him. To hear him say: “It’s alright little one, you don’t need to cry anymore. I’ll patch you up, good as new.” like he used to. To plant a loving kiss on the top of his head and rock him in his arms. To call him a big boy when he was finally at ease and say how proud he was for being brave. All that he wished to have again.

The other part of Kyojuro, however, wanted to keep the peaceful silence between them. To just gaze up at the moon with his father and bottle up his emotions; to burn through it all passionately as he usually would. But even Kyojuro knew that would end in failure. He wanted to be as strong as he could, to bear it all on his tired and weakened shoulders. To give hope to his father -and to himself- that things would be alright and that you would bounce back better than ever. That you would play with Senjuro again, that you would do morning stretches with his father again in the garden, that you would plant millions of loving and passionate kisses all over Kyojuro’s face. 

As the young man sat in silence, mind ravaging with his thoughts, Shinjuro broke the silence with the clearing of his throat. “I..think it would be best for the two of you to get married as soon as possible.” Kyojuro turned his head to his father, his puffy eyes blown wide as his father continued to stare at the sky. “It..would be best for all of us if there was one last good memory to hold onto.” With that, he finally gazed at him, tired eyes drinking in the clear signs that his son was crying earlier.

“Oh, um, yes. You have a point…I’ll bring it up with Y/N tomorrow morning.” Kyojuro muttered, calloused hands slightly gripping his yukata. Kyojuro’s gaze lowered to his lap as he tried to figure out how to pose his question. “Um, father?” He called out. Shinjuro answered with a gruff hum, taking another sip of water.

“Father, Y/N..isn’t going to get better, is she?” Kyojuro could feel his ears heat slightly at his question. He sounded like a small child that couldn’t grasp the concept of someone he cared about dying. He reminded him of himself once upon a time. Shinjuro grunted again, looking at Kyojuro.

“She won’t, Kyojuro.” He answered simply, flaming eyes once more concentrating on the moon. Kyojuro’s bottom lip twitched at the obvious confirmation, a painful lump slowly forming in his throat.

“Father?” He started again, picking at the hangnail that resided on his pointer finger. Shinjuro sighed softly and leaned back on his palms. 

“Yes, Kyojuro?” He answered patiently, completely understanding the heavy task he was assigned once Kyojuro sat next to him. He knew how fragile his son currently was and he knew just how painful it was. Nobody was by his side when Ruka fell ill but he’d be damned if he wouldn’t be the lighthouse for the ship his son sailed on, horrible waves from the daunting storm threatening to capsize him. 

“It’s all useless, isn’t it? The doctor visits and the soup.” He started, worry taking the reins and causing him to talk faster. “A-As well as the medication and the massages and-”

“Kyojuro.” Shinjuro interrupted sternly, shocking the young man and causing him to look at his father with worry plastered on his face. An iron gaze was focused on the young man’s sorrowful features. A sigh flew from the older man’s lips as Kyojuro looked back down at his fingers, eyes covered in a sheen film. “It may all seem useless, hell, it might actually be. But those things..bring her ease. It brings Senjuro ease. It gives them hope and it would be cruel to just stop it and force them to face the grave truth.” 

“Right, I apologize.” Kyojuro said meekly, lolling his head back to keep from sniffling. A tender yet battle-worn hand rested on the top of Kyojuro’s head, giving him a slight pat before leaving his messy hair. 

“It’s alright, Kyo.” Shinjuro reassured softly, sitting up straight again. He dithered, unsure of how to say his next words. If one thing Shinjuro wasn't good at, it was being reassuring. But, his son needed him and he truly didn't want to let him down this time. Never again, he silently vowed to himself as he took a deep breath, lips parting slightly.

“It’s okay to feel this way. I don’t have to tell you how hard this all is and how awful everything feels. But just know that I won’t leave your side for any of it. I’ll be there to hold your hand through it all and I’ll make sure that you don’t end up like I did. I promise you, Kyojuro.” He finished, a small yet reassuring smile resting on his lips. Kyojuro looked at his father in both bewilderment and comfort. For the first time in a while, Kyojuro was finally receiving the love and care that he had longed for from his father for a long time. With a slight nod, Kyojuro once more looked down in his lap, fingers tightly woven. A single tear finally broke through, leaving a small dot on his clothing.

“Father, I..I’m so scared. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know if I can keep being cheerful anymore. I’m so tired, father. I feel like I'm lying to her, lying to myself. And I can't stand it, I just-” And with the last word to leave his trembling lips, a struggling wail escaped Kyojuro’s throat. Rapid streams of tears left his screwed shut eyes as his shoulders convulsed, rough hands frantically trying to wipe away the stains on his crimson cheeks however they just kept coming even stronger than before. Large hands grabbed the side of Kyojuro’s head and shoulder, pushing him into a tight hug. Soft hushes filled the heavy night air as Kyojuro’s wails grew louder and became filled with incoherent babbling. 

“I don’t wan’ to lose her, I hate it. I hate it all! I-I wanna save her but- but I can’t!” Kyojuro spoke through an agape frown, drool beginning to leave his mouth while his hands gripped the back of his father’s yukata tightly as Shinjuro’s hand rubbed his back. “P-please, Papa, help me, Please!” He pleaded, voice muffled as he buried his head further into his father’s embrace. Shinjuro’s lower lip twitched slightly before burying it on the top of his son’s head, placing a soft kiss in the blond tresses. 

“I know, Kyo, I know. I’ll help you out, don’t worry. It’s okay, my son...I promise.” Shinjuro whispered as the gut wrenching sobs left his son’s lips. Shinjuro hated it all too. He hated seeing the memories of Ruka’s final moments every time he visited you. He hated seeing Kyojuro slowly turn into a shell of his former self, he hated looking into the mirror that was his son. He hated seeing younger Kyojuro within Senjuro, always trying his hardest to raise everyone’s hopes and quietly asking him if Y/N will for sure get better; always being met with vague answers. It was all Deja Vu to the older man, as if he was watching the past play out right in front of him but ten times worse. They hadn’t even gotten married yet, let alone have one or two children. Shinjuro could feel nothing but the sorrow and anguish within his battered heart beating loudly in his ears as Kyojuro finally succumbed to his emotions. 

Shinjuro started to slightly rock his son side to side as burning tears soaked through his clothes. He didn’t mind not one bit. He would have all of his clothes drenched in the salty tears of his children if that is what they needed. He would rock them and comfort them as many times as they requested, no matter how big the issue was or how old the children were. It was his responsibility as their father to do so, as well as something he owed to them for all the years of negligence. 

Kyojuro’s wails died down to occasional sniffles and heavy breathing. His grip on his father slightly loosened as he partially uncovered his bloodshot eyes, gaze resting on nothing in particular. “What..am I going to do? I love her so much, it hurts. It hurts so bad. I feel like I can’t breathe, my lungs are burning. I-I’m so tired, Papa.” Kyojuro mumbled, no longer caring about how childish he seemed calling his father “Papa”. That’s what he was after all, Papa. Papa the Brave that chases the demons away every night before bed and when he’s away from home. Papa the Strong that can carry both his children and his wife on his body, carrying them throughout the house as tiny, sweet giggles filled the air. Proud Papa that teaches his sons how to hold a sword and praises them when they beat the air with wooden swords. Loving Papa that coats Mama in sweet kisses when he comes back home. Helpful Papa that saves little boys with snakes from sorrowful places and wipes his children’s faces every meal time. His Papa. 

Shinjuro sighed softly, rugged hand traveling in his son’s hair. “I’m sorry, Kyojuro. There isn’t much you can do but be there for her. Love her as much as possible no matter what. Try to make her happy every day, even if you feel like giving up. And when you do feel like giving up, find me. And I’ll carry you.” 

Kyojuro sniffled as his body felt the brunt force of fatigue. His wild eyebrows furrowed as he began to succumb to the sweet luls of slumber. “Okay, Papa..” Softly leaving his lips as he finally slept, Shinjuro kept his steady rhythm of rocking until the morning sun crested the horizon, birds singing their wake-up songs to the once still Earth.

A warm, gentle breeze traveled throughout the lively forest as boisterous laughter filled the air. Shinjuro chuckled softly as he watched his two sons walk briskly ahead of them, jokes and funny stories exchanging between the two. Kyojuro laughed loudly again as Senjuro entertained him with a funny face in the middle of his story, swinging the picnic basket in his hand.

“Kyojuro!” Shinjuro called out, his sons giving him their attention. “Try not to laugh too hard, remember? You’re still healing.” He reminded the young man, gesturing to the bandages that were wrapped around his torso, hidden underneath his Monstuki Haori Hakama. Kyojuro gently rubbed the eyepatch that rested on his face, a habit he started to pick up when in thought, a beaming smile shining at his father.

“Don’t worry, I feel good enough to laugh. It doesn’t hurt, promise!” He assured before joining his little brother that was already ahead of the both of them and underneath the tree. Heaps of food sprawled out on the red blanket once Shinjuro finally caught up to his children, a bento and chopsticks already out for him. He sat down carefully next to Senjuro, content eyes soaking in the picturesque view that laid before him. Many trees danced with the gentle summer wind, birds swooping and diving into the canopy for their lunch. A nearby stream sang its song elegantly as the two sons conversed with each other. Shinjuro took a deep breath in, the sweet scent of the manju and flowers filling his nose. 

“She would’ve liked this place, right Aniue?” Senjuro said softly, snapping his father from his silent appreciation of nature. Kyojuro lowered his chopsticks, a small smile plastered on his face. He rubbed his stomach gingerly, before turning his attention to his little brother. 

“She would have. Both of them would, I reckon. However, they’d probably yell at us for being late.” He chuckled, producing a large smile from Senjuro, a smaller one from his father. “Not to mention, we didn’t make Y/N favorite food to bring with us.” He finished, laughing loudly as Shinjuro released a soft snort. 

“She’d be mad at you, not me and Sen. I told you we should’ve made some but you insisted on rushing.” He retorted, Senjuro giggling softly at his father’s remark. Kyojuro chuckled sheepishly as he rubbed his neck. His father was right, of course. But you would forgive him, Kyojuro knew you would. 

“Then let’s make some when we get home and give it to her. Now hurry up and eat before I end up taking everything.” Senjuro warned before quickly snatching up a mitarashi dango, eliciting a shocked and hurried response from his brother as well as a scoff from his father, joining in the competition. 

Things hadn’t been fair to the Rengoku family and although things would forever change for them, one thing was for sure; no sorrowful bouts of Deja Vu would visit them. And if they did, Papa the Brave would be there.

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ, ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ, ʙɪɴᴅ ᴏʀ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ ᴀꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱ. ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛꜱ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴏᴛᴏꜰꜱᴛᴇᴡɪᴇ™ 2022

[devildomdisaster]

I’d like to request a body switching scenario with [Satan, Asmo, Beelz, Solomon, Simeon] and an Gender Neutral MC with undisclosed chronic health issues. Like brittle bones that break if you step a little goofy, stress ulcers, sensitivity to light, joint pain, poor stamina, etc. I just want to see the boys go “You live like this?!”

Satan:

Satan has a habit of collecting rare magical objects. Somehow quite a few of these cause body-switching incidents.

The cursed object causes the two of you to lose consciousness for a few minutes. When he wakes up he is in immediate pain.

His first thought is that the spell must have caused this and you must be in pain too! If he, a demon, is in this much pain it must be excruciating for a human.

He rushes to you or tries to. But falls to his knees in shock as a shooting pain runs through him.

He blinks watering eyes and sees his body stirring on the floor and realizes you’ve switched bodies.

You sit up feeling better than you’ve felt in years. Wondering if this is ‘normal’ or if that cursed object gave you super healing.

It’s only when you hear your own voice calling your name that you realize you and Satan have switched bodies.

You can see the tears in his(your body's) eyes and know exactly what's happening. You’ve had chronic pain for years. And Satan is sitting in just the right way to send shooting pain up your spine.

“Lay down on your back,” you order him. He has just enough control to follow your order and lower your body down slowly.

You can see Satan’s relief on your face as the pain eases slightly. It takes a moment for the worst of the pain to subside and his breath to even out.

He’s staring at the ceiling when he speaks, voice still a little shaky, “You live like this?”

You hum out a yes.

“All- all the time?” he asks, horrified.

“Sometimes it's worse than others. If I move or sit in certain ways it gets real bad. But if I avoid those movements it’s bearable.”

Satan turns to you “This is what you call bearable?!”

You shrug, “That position is usually pretty safe. So yeah probably.”

He is careful to move your body a little as possible as he shifts to point at a spellbook. “That book-”

“Are you going to change us back?” you ask.

“I-” he hesitates. Clearly not wanting you to be in pain again.

“Look, Satan it’s not that I don’t enjoy being pain-free. But I’ve dealt with it for years now. I’ve learned how to function around it. I had to. You on the other hand are going to be laying on the floor for most of the day if you stay in my body.”

“I’m going to find a way to fix you.” He says firmly as you place the book in his hands.

“Promises, promise,” you sing, preparing yourself to experience the pain in your body again.

“I mean it. As soon as I can move again I am going to find a way to help you. Devildom magic has to be better than human medicine.”

Asmo:

Asmo bought you matching bracelets. “Look Mc, I bought us these bracelets! They are supposed to bring us closer together!”

Well, they did bring you closer together. Just not in the way Asmo intended.

When he clasped the bracelets on, you felt a shiver go down your spine and when you opened your eyes you felt...different. Better. There was no aching pain. For once the dazzling lights of Asmo’s room didn’t cause you to wince. That's when you realize you’ve switched bodies.

Asmo on the other hand immediately cringed and squeezed his eyes closed, clutching his(your) head.

Asmo groaned pitifully, teary eyes squinting at you “Mc, how do you do anything like this??”

He curls up beneath his covers, and you make your way around his room turning off all the lights and closing his curtains. Once the light is gone, Asmo peers out from beneath the covers, “Do you live like this all the time?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“No wonder your room is so dark. I thought you were just being dramatic.”

You shrug at him, “The Devildom is better than the human realm. There’s no bright sunlight here.”

Once the spell wears off, Asmo keeps the bracelet on both as a reminder of how you live with this chronic illness and as the intended purpose of showing how close the two of you are.

He buys you super dark glasses to try and filter out some of the bright light that bothers you.

and asks Solomon to help him find any magical treatments that might help you.

Beel:

Beel and you switch bodies after eating some of Solomon’s cooking.

Neither of you wants to eat Solomon’s cooking, but you had the misfortune to be the only two people who couldn’t find an excuse to get out of it.

Beel doesn’t know how it happened, Solomon doesn’t know how it happened, you sure as hell don’t know how this happened. But here you are with a strange magic ‘cake’ in hand, looking at your body from Beel’s eyes.

Your first thought is how strong you feel in Beel’s body. Like you could do anything. The exhaustion and joint pain you normally deal with is gone.

Is this how normal people live? Although you suppose a demon doesn’t count as a normal human, so it’s not such a good comparison.

You watch as Beel catches himself on the counter as he adjusts to the symptoms of your illness.

He lowers your body to the ground. Sitting gingerly as the movement causes the joint pain to flare.

“Mc, is this how you feel every day?” He is so so concerned about you! How do you function if you feel like this all the time? “Why haven’t you told anyone about this?”

“It’s ok, Beel. I’ve figured out how to deal with it.”

“It is not ok. Mc, we could have helped you!”

It’s strange to be lectured by your own voice and body. But Beel does a good job of it. He insists that you have to tell him when your symptoms act up and convinces you to let him speak with Lucifer about trying some magical treatments.

The potion doesn’t wear off for several hours. You feel a tad bit guilty about enjoying this when Beel is so obviously suffering, but you can’t remember the last time you felt so good. So capable.

Once the spell wears off Beel insists on carrying you around so you aren't as fatigued and to avoid aggravating your joint pain.

Be prepared for trying a string of different potions and spells to treat your illness, under the watchful eyes of Beel and Lucifer.

Solomon:

After hearing about Lucifer and Satan’s body-switching incident Solomon went looking for another cursed book.

He’d heard some rumor about Satan’s book having a twin and was determined to find it.

And find it he did.

You accidentally touched the book at the same time as him and switched bodies.

Solomon is more intrigued than anything else. “Do you live like this all the time? If so, you do a remarkable job of hiding it.”

He is going to test the limits of your body’s capabilities. He wants to know what situations cause pain or discomfort so that you can’t pretend to be ok when you aren’t.

You’ll have to warn him if he is doing anything that might permanently harm your body.

Unlike some of the others, Solomon doesn’t immediately look for a way to switch back.

When the spell wears off Solomon has a near-complete understanding of your condition. He knows what causes pain, what doesn’t, and what situations you should absolutely avoid.

“Mc, you need to stop pretending you are ok when you’re not. I’ll be here to help you when you need it. And if that help happens to be stopping you from doing foolish things to save face then so be it.”

Solomon keeps a close eye on you from now on. He respects you enough to not tell anyone about your condition if you don’t want him to, but he will also come up with the strangest excuses to remove you from activities he knows will aggravate your condition.

If there is magic that can be used to help you Solomon will find it. Just be prepared to feel a little bit like a lab rat while he figures out the perfect spell or potion to help you.

Simeon:

Simeon wants to know what it feels like to be human. He thinks it would give him a greater understanding of humanity.

He mentions this to Solomon, who being the chaos loving wizard he is, makes a potion to allow Simeon to switch bodies with you.

The problem occurs when Solomon 'forgets’ to tell you both that he’s already put the potion in your tea.

Simeon is shocked. He finds himself in your body. Looking at himself through your eyes. And by god does your body hurt!

“Mc, I’m dreadfully sorry, but I think Solomon’s little joke may have gone wrong. I-everything hurts.”

You blink at Simeon...er Simeon in your body. Mind taking a moment to catch up with the sudden body switch. You feel great. Part of that might be due to being in an angel's body, but mostly it's due to the lack of pain.

“Oh, everything's fine on my end. So it must be my chronic pain. It’s worse today than others.”

“Wh-what do you do when it’s bad?”

“Usually I try to distract myself. Or try to take a nap and hope I wake up feeling better. But we’d made plans and I didn’t want to cancel so…”

“So you decided to deal with extra pain for my sake? Oh, Mc. You should have told me you live like this. I can help”

“There’s no point, Simeon. Not a single doctor I’ve been to has found anything wrong with me. I didn’t want anyone here to pity me.”

“I am an angel, Mc. I’m quite sure I can do a bit more than your human doctors.”

You help Simeon to his room where you spend the afternoon watching human world movies to help distract him.

Simeon sleeps fitfully next to you and as you drift off you wonder if that is how you always look when you let your guard down enough to show your pain.

When the potion wears off you are both asleep, curled up next to each other.

When you wake up you are back in your own body. Simeon is sitting next to you slipping a charmed bracelet onto your wrist. “This is from the Celestial realm. It should help keep your pain at a more manageable level until I can find a more permanent solution.”

[apex-academy]

Chapter 5 Trial: What I Am in the Dark (#38)

“...Huh?”

“Put. The knife. Down.”

“.......”

“Wh-whoa! Where did that come from?!”

“Kishaba’s room.”

“Eats’s? Like, wait...”

We were both in the room at the time. I’m sure she can piece the clues together.

“You thought THAT was a spider?!”

“I...”

“Wait wait, you mean Itsurou lied about getting rid of everything?!”

“I can’t say it would be utterly senseless to keep one behind in the safety of his own bedroom.”

“So. Kurokame.”

I have to focus to keep my teeth from grinding. It’s a bit difficult to speak like that.

“Put the knife down. Now.” I don’t want to say it, but... “I will shoot.”

“...”

“........”

“Dude, hold up, wouldn’t that make you the killer?”

Am I not already? Excluding me from that title merely because I didn’t succeed seems a bit lenient.

But I admit that does make this a bit easier.

“Oh oh, that’s a good point!”

“Would we have a whole ‘nother trial if somebody got shot in the middle of this one?”

“Oh, um... We can cross that bridge when we get to it!”

That issue is of no consequence right now. I keep my eyes trained on Kurokame.

“If another person dies today, it will not be Kogamino. Put the knife down.”

“.......”

I assume she’s trying to gauge if I’m bluffing. I would hardly point a gun at a person’s head as a bluff. Even with my finger firmly on the guard rather than the trigger itself, I’m half afraid it will go off anyway. If it does...

“.......”

...I’m not certain Kogamino could keep from falling against the knife in her state.

I’ll simply have to hope it won’t misfire.

And that I won’t be forced to actually pull the trigger.

“Miss Kurokame.”

“You’ve established that you cannot look after your family if you are dead. Mister Attenborough has clear sights on you with a loaded gun, and we have no medical professionals left to save you if he fires.”

“So your only chance to live...”

“.....”

“...is to drop your weapon. Now.”

“....”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

Kurokame begins to lower the knife. I very nearly slouch in relief, but that would certainly be a mistake. 

I nod slightly, not enough to upset my line of sight.

“Now place the knife on th—”

In a blur of pink, Kurokame goes down.

“—!”

“YAAAAAH!”

Pulse jumping, I frantically point the gun elsewhere as Yuukei, Kurokame, and Kogamino tumble onto the floor in an undignified tangle. I pick out the flash of the knife falling away, but I can’t be certain it hasn’t grazed anyone when a bit of Kogamino’s blood was on it already.

“Whoa!”

“Haha, that was fast!”

“Is... Is everyone uninjured?!”

“Somebody’s boutta NOT be... un...”

“That was too many ‘not’s and I got confused but yeah I’m good and I am totally beating Yuki up now.”

“Wh—What’s the use in that?! Just restrain her, please!”

“But I’m pissed!”

“Miss Kogamino is right there, too, in case you’ve forgotten!!”

“I’ll...!”

I narrowly stop myself from tossing the gun aside. I stow it where it was previously and cautiously approach the pile of limbs a few steps ahead. Yuukei is pulling Kurokame back by the hair as the latter struggles to twist out of her grip. Kogamino is curled up into a ball like she’s waiting out a junkyard dog attack. Not the worst possible approach, but it bars me from seeing if she’s injured.

“Kogamino!”

I can only see scattered traces of blood, so surely she can’t be that urgently injured, but—!

I crouch down and put my palm on her shoulder. She recoils hard before I have the chance to speak.

“.....” None of that, then.

I just ensure I’m stationed between her and the other two on the floor. I’m half surprised Tokino hasn’t run over to join the fray just for the sake of it.

“—!”

The room blurs. I have to grip Kogamino’s podium supports for balance.

I’m aware that I’m still fatigued, but... I can’t do this, not now. The trial isn’t over yet.

When I come back to myself, Kurokame’s been safely secured by Yuukei. Or rather, safely for the rest of us. I’m not certain how easily Kurokame can draw breath in that position.

“Ah...! The knife...?”

My vision dims a touch, which doesn’t assist with my search. But I can still hear Doppler speak up.

“It’s about two meters to your left. Out of their range.”

It takes me some time to interpret the words’ meaning, but by then I’m able to focus again. Yuukei grumbles as she clamps Kurokame’s wrists and ponytail in her iron grasp. 

Neither of them has managed to get the knife. That will have to suffice for the time being.

[PROCEED]

[energyanon]

Surprise reading as I can’t seem to shake off the curiosity. Ok, I’m gonna set them up in relation to this drama. Personally, I don’t believe it. NV would have to have various personality disorders in order for this to be true, among 5000 other reasons why that is not normal, sane human behaviour. But the Instagram.. so many things don’t match up. However, both me and another anon felt fuzzy headed when we were representing her.. maybe it’s not just her overthinking, maybe it’s something more relating to some kind of disorder, but that’s not my place to say. Let’s check it out. Once again I’m gonna type as I go.

I’ve decided for three set ups here: 1. NV, 2. The group chat as a whole as cited on said Instagram, and 3. Henry.

Set up 2. (The GC) first. I picked up NV and got a headache.

First flag: Natalie wanted to be on top of the GC… that’s weird..

Henry is at a distance but he is staring at them both. Starting to feel like I may have been wrong in my judgment here ha.. 😬 I’m really hoping it’s not true cause otherwise that’s fucking sad and NV has genuine issues. But, I’m ok with being wrong.

Alright, let’s start as NV (cause GC, I feel I already know their feelings regardless of if it’s true or not) FYI, I have moved NV to being close but not on top, as one energy on top of - group of energies would be much too hard to decipher.

NV:

Immediate dizziness. I feel very hot and my air con is currently blasting down upon me so it’s not me. The group chat feels very little to NV. like tiny, as in I could step on them. (1. This can mean they’re not even being seen, she barely cares about them, or 2. Can feel more powerful than) as we know in the screenshots the latter was supposedly the case, so I’m not going to cross that out just yet, but it feels more like I’m just not even seeing them. they’re dirt under my feet. They don’t really have her attention and she’s not super bothered by them, but once I brought her attention to it She does want to stamp it out, it’s a complete nuisance. She wants to cover them up. I gave them a little tap, which ended turning into many taps which turned into actually wanting to destroy their rep all together. so she’s angry about it. (At this point I don’t know if she’s angry about This situation being a lie, as in she’s sick of these people doing this to her, or if she’s genuinely angry at the group for exposing her) the tiny dirt now feels a bit bigger but more like a basketball sized nuisance. She still feels bigger than them, it’s just that this is so ANNOYING. Still wants to rip them up into little pieces, she’s annoyed, she’s moving me around a whole bunch, she’s angry, she’s frustrated, she’s tying her hair up, she’s not having it. like it’s fucking annoying. this is all so ANNOYING. She’s stressed, she’s annoyed, she wants this over and done with.

No more energy shifts. Incoming questions.

Q: do you know them?

No I don’t fucking know them

Ok do you think that was a friend who exposed you?

I don’t know I can’t think I- (just a bunch of profanities) [note: it’s like she’s keyboard smashing in my brain right now it’s REALLY annoyed]

Jaw clenched, I’m swaying from side to side my hands are on my hips, hair away from my face I want to move somewhere else but I need to deal with THIS FUCKING THING FIRST ISHDJFKSJXJDSNX.

god it is SO ANNOYING like if you guys were all in front of me right now you’d be heading me yelling and screaming and So irritated I’m so I’m SO Annoyed. I can’t even think of any other questions to ask cause I’m too busy getting keyboard smashed atm.

I’m gonna move to the group to just see if the intentions there are legit. I need a break from NV.

Ok the group:

the group have some anxiety, stomach dropped. They’re not angry they’re just looking at NV. None of them can be sure if It was NV - I think some of them doubt but it was a “get it out just in case” situation. At least one of them feel bad. Nervous jitters from my right leg. You know how you fidget when you’re waiting to get in trouble?

Q: do you believe it was NV?

There are many of them so I’ll just say it as it came up. No (1) I don’t know (majority) one of them is a yeah, feels like the leader of the group but even then the yeah isn’t a solid resounding yeah. But it’s also not like a “yeaahhh?” It’s like I’m just gonna make a decision and it’s yeah.

Q: are you mad that nv is with Henry

I’m not mad (1)

We’re not mad, we just think he could do better. (Majority)

Q: why did you do this

To expose her

Q: why to expose her if you didn’t truly believe it was her

There is a very weak “it was the right thing to do” like.. when I say weak it feels like they don’t even believe that, but they’ve convinced themselves it is..?

Q: at any point did you lie or fabricate the screenshots?

Resounding no, but one solid yes from someone.

Q: Yes?

One of them.

Q: which one

(I was shown one of them, it was one of the purple and black ones, one where there isn’t much purple - I’ll have to check it after)

Ok, my leg isn’t going crazy anymore - there is just an expectant waiting. They’re looking at NV, she’s taller than them but not much taller (not like they’re a basketball being looked down upon, just normal human heights) the feeling is just waiting. Waiting to see if there is a response. That’s it, that’s all I’ve been given I can’t even conjure Up another question. (Sometimes when the energy is done sharing its just done, I can’t force it past that and I’m not in my right to)

Checking Henry:

Henry is tired, he’s disillusioned, he’s just staring into space. The other two are in front of him (facing one another) but he doesn’t see them. Genuinely no thoughts from him it’s complete disassociation. But I did ask if he knew about this situation, he doesn’t seem to know yet.

And yet he’s still disassociating.. the thought “I don’t know what to do” came up, but it was so slow and fractured it was like… you know that video of that kid who’s trying to say have you ever had a dream that you could do anything but he muddles it up for 20 seconds before getting to it? It’s like that (I’ll link it when I’m done)

“I don’t kn- I just I - what do I ev- wh-“ and it keeps going but imagine it taking FOREVER for him to say it.

He’s stuck in the disassociation. Weird choice, but I need to do it. I’m gonna slap him. (Which yes, means slapping myself)

Ok, that didn’t make much difference, he’s still super tired, he still didn’t see the other two but I tried to bring his attention to NV and he was already turning around to leave “I don’t care, I don’t care I’m too tired” and then he turned back and said to NV to clarify “I do care, but I don’t, I’m tired” and I took him out cause he was walking out of there anyway.

Back to NV one last time, and then I’m doing other stuff with my day and then I’ll do CE tonight.

NV

It’s always dizziness with this chick, I swear. Everytime im with her I’m dizzy, I’m losing blood pressure. She’s calmed down at least but fuck I’m dizzy more dizzy than I usually am (can be her, could also be me continuously going into different energies, I don’t tend to feel like this though but don’t rule it out)

Dizzy, Im not tired, but fatigued like I don’t need to sleep, I need to just lay down. I see the GC but they can fuck off I don’t care. She wants to kick them out of the way. As soon as she does she wants to leap out at them and tear them to shreds. She goes from 1- 100 real quick. I don’t want her to destroy my representative for the group, cause I don’t want anything to accidentally manifest in real time for the actual group, so im going to create a little thing that she can destroy instead - just in case there are any energetic consequences of her destroying the representation of the GC. Found a little piece of paper I called it placebo GC and we’re tearing it up.

Ok so, I got her to tear up Placebo GC. She got raveonous with it. I am now coming to believe that NV has some major anger issues. To be fair, im feeling how annoyed she is and I get it honestly it’s the only way to get out this level of emotion. It’s not healthy, therapy is needed for sure, but I’m not gonna sit here like this and say that she’s overreacting cause when you’re feeling like she is, there’s no where else for this to go

She ripped them up, crushed them, tore at them with her teeth, crushed them into a little ball again and chucked them away and then we just screamed “FUCK!” For literally about 3 minutes and she was LIVID. I’ve sat her down now while I write this, she’s still annoyed, she’s not livid.

Interesting to note though, all throughout the screaming there was never a single thought that came up that was like “why can’t they just let US live, why can’t we just BE together” she really doesn’t seem to care about the affect it has on her and Henry’s relationship, she’s just annoyed people are talking shit. Like she just doesn’t care that people won’t accept them.

Oh! I haven’t checked on her vs. HC so lemme do that. I wanna see if she checks up on him too, cause from a normal relationship perspective, this would affect him too. But let’s see.

Yup, ok, nothing from her end, if anything she’s giving him the silent treatment. Like she’s looking at him in the way you do when your partner has said something stupid and you’re too angry to answer. But she doesn’t care that he’s there. I went to him also to see if he would comfort her and he was just a brick wall, kind of more like “here I am I’m showing up but idc. I really idc. Sorry that you’re going through it I guess.” Both of them had the ~aura~ (I don’t know how to explain it on text) of “this did not go as planned” however, they didn’t SAY that, just as an FYI, it was just a bit of a shared feeling translated into words.

That’s it. I’m ending it there. I’ve got life admin to do, be back later for a CE reading as promised. :)

[wormsposting]

transcribed almost all of big q and jack manifold’s conversation yesterday for a comic so i figured someone else might want it:

Q: ho-how you doing man? It's been awhile. How's it-- the hotel buisness going?

J: yeah, great, yeah yeah yeah no, big-- big developments today, weirdly.

(walking along the prime path)

Q: whaddyou mean? Didja get, didja get new customers? Whatssa.. Whatssa

J: no, no, no new customers, no, no

Q: well, I mean, no one's standing in your way right now, tommy's jailed, so, that shouldn't be an issue

J: ah yeah, I mean, that yeah! There..

Q: I don't even know when he's gonna get out, so anyways, the hotel… I'm thinking, and im, and im, um, thinking of writing up a draft… of like, our, contract and everything…

J: right

Q: you know, kinda, kinda give it a go, and… what is THIS? What is this?

J: oh mc, oh McDonald's.

Q: whooooo that's NICE

J: yeah, I'm actually gonna… dyou wanna burger? I feel like you'll, you'll wanna burger.

Q: no… I don’t.. Im on a diet. Im eating healthy right now.

J: well, im gonna, immona grab a few patties

Q: oh really?

J: yeahh yeah you know

Q: kay

J: umm….

Q: alright!

Q: you know what? Actually, you know what? I've decided that I do want, I do want a burger.

J: you do wanna burger

Q: (after walking in) oh… ho HOO a whole menu and everything! Nice.

J: yeah.. Yeah they got, um,

Q: I, I still, does it say.. Does it say the calories or something? It doesn't say no callories, or

J: uh salad, (Changes??)

Q: yeah, this would be bad for buisness if it was in front of, in front of your hotel. …(seeing the sign) mc puffy's?

J: oh, oh yeah, no, I guess its called McPuffy's. uh, ah. Uh

Q: mmm. mmhmm

J: news to me.

Q: yyyyup! Alright.

J: yeah!

Q: (walking out) lets go, uh, take a trip around your hotel! I wanna take a quick look at it

J: yeah… no, yeah yeah yeah, feel free! Yeah, you know. It. Looks like it's gonna be mine for a while now, so

Q: really?

J: yeah.

Q: is it um, I ah hmm, (jumbled word like noises) what did tommy do, is he gonna stay in prison for longer?

J: no that's. yes

Q: I'm assuming he is--

J: no, no, ah,

Q: whatddyou mean, a while? If he's gonna be in there, I mean…

(they walk into the hotel)

J: I, he's, yes--

Q: you're gonna have no issues with the buisness.

J: I, no, no he's not

Q: (reading off a sign) .. Don't take anything, don’t till it is finished.. However if you want please deposit items? You're running a charity, Jack manifold?

J: no, this is the, this is some..

Q: that's-- that's actually, that's very smart, that's actually very smart of you to do, if you run a charity, but in reality, that money's going towards your buisness…

J: (walking back outside the hotel to where big q is) that's- that's not what that-- but. L-look, look. No quackity, no no, Tommy-- tommy isn't in there. Right--right now

Q: (quietish) whaddyou mean? What d'you mean, 'he's not in there right now'? (louder) OHHHHH you're such an idiot! (walking down the prime path) What're you doing standing here! Go-- go fix that up!

Q: he's gonna come back here-- any second now--

J: no… no…

Q: --and he's gonna try to take this damn hotel back

J: no--- no… I-- I don’t think he's gonna try…

Q: what're you doing? You're just standing there!

J: No,

Q: where is he?

J: I don't think he's gonna--

Q: do you know where he is?

J: no, no, he's-- yeah, he's…. I-- I can take a guess as to--

Q: ...(i think he says something before this, but i can’t hear anything) Still find him. You know what? You know what, given that you and I have partnered up with this buisness, I could, I could prolly go talk to him. I could prolly go talk to him.

J: I think you might struggle…

Q: and we can strike a deal… we can just strike a deal… and we can let him make you keep it. I think with the right wording-- tommy's a very open person, I think --and I don’t know what happened in the prison, but he might be a little more lenient, you know? A little more understanding… about it all.

J: no he's-- I don't think its gonna be an issue, big q, I don't think we're gonna argue with it.

Q: …whaddyou mean?

J: quackity, he…

Q: of course it's gonna be an issue, do you know fucking tommy? Dyou know what fucking tommy's like?

J: yeah, I know--

Q: he's gonna fucking come back here, he's gonna want his shit back, and you're gonna be in deep trouble. And that's gonna be bad for my buisness and yours, by the way.

J: no , I don't think we're gonna-- look, quackity, he's not in prison because he never made it out. (pause) he, didn't leave.

Q: what!? (said in a simmilar tone to technoblade’s ‘heh’s)

J: I don’t think he's… him and dream got in, in a fight. And, I dunno, I dunno what happened, but, he didn't make it

Q: whaddyou mean he didn't make it, you mean like, you mean like…

J: I mean like, he fought dream, and he didn't, he didn't win

*Thunder in the background*

Q: (way quieter than usual and also kind of on the edge of tears? Not quite sure cause i couldn’t see his face, but) (looks around, at the ground, then back to jack)  what-- what dyou mean?

J: I mean , I mean, I mean like

Q: what dyou mean?

J: like he's dead. He- he's dead, Q, dream took his last life.

(long pause. Thunder)

Q: …. (sounding super small, especially for big q) what?

J: yeah. I didn't really want to-- to have to tell you,-- but someone was gonna have to

Q: … he's dead?

J: yeah he's, he's dead.

Q: what?.... (walks a bit up the path. Then stops to look back at jack).. When… when was this?

J: like, maybe, an hour ago, two hours ago…

Q: this was today?

J: yeah, no today he, I dunno he-- he was in there with dream… I dunno what happened… sam… I dunno. He said he made a mistake… ‘n, next thing you know… yeah. He- he- he's gone.

(thunder)

Q: tommy's just… tommy's just dead then?

J: yeah, pre-- yeah pretty much. Well, no, not pretty much, act-- exactly, yeah, no, he's dead.

Q: (sniffles or something, like, sad noises he’s making sad noises) is… is that it?

J: well, I… guess

Q: is that it for tommy? He's gone? Wh… wh…. Wai… what was sam doing? Why didn't--

J: I don't know

Q: I thought he was--how did dream even kill him?

J: I don't know! I, I dunno, we asked him!

Q: they have, they have the uh, the (hits jack) the hitting fatigue thing! Wha--what- what even happened?

J: I don’t, I don’t even know I-I-I, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know! I wasn't there, I wasn't there. I-I-I spoke to sam afterwards, but, but not for very long, I dunno what he said, he spoke to tubbo and ranboo a little bit more, maybe they know, but I don't, I don’t know

J: all I heard was sam say that he was, he was gone

Q: mm. … um… so… he's just gone…

J: yeah. Yeah… nah… yeah.

Q: mm.

J: no, im sorry man. No, I didn't really wanna… be the one.. But. You know, someone was gonna have to.

Q: well… (clears his throat) (laughs but sad, sighs).. Well. (looks at the hotel)

J: yeah.. Yeah!

Q: (a bit louder, but not nearly back to normal) It's time to get back to work then.

J: yeah, that's what I've been, that's what I've been doing. I've been getting some stuff… we… got a lot to do!

Q: Alright! (clears throat) (sounding like he's trying to sound upbeat, but he's not totally feeling it) alright, get to it jack!

J: yeah, no, I'll

Q: And I'll get to my buisness. Please don't head west

J: I wont--I wont head west, I'll head… east.

Q: I don’t wanna have to escort you out again, alright?

J: it's, it's, it's all good, it's all good

Q: Aright! If you need anything, uh, just let me know, and…

J: yeah, and the same goes for you

Q: and, jack. Don’t let this… don't let this affect buisness.

J:… it wont. It wont. If, if anything, it'll-- it'lls for the best. It's for the best.

Q: the train doesn’t stop.

J: no. it only goes faster.

Q: okay.

J: okay

(At about the same time)

J: alright!

Q: Alright!

J: bye, take care

Q: bye!

J: (lets out a breath)

[sepublic]

"My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up.”

“Wh-What are you talking about?!”

“I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone. Basically, Shigechi, you are a troublesome thing that would hinder my sleep, therefore my enemy.”

BONUS:

“You said everyone was looking for me? Do you mean there’s someone in this town who knows about Reimi Sugimoto’s murder? But no one will be able to pursue me... No one knows the identity of Yoshikage Kira. As long as you are out of the picture...

...Killer Queen has already touched the doorknob.”

“CCCCAAAAAATTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!”

[el-gilliath]

A Not So Easy Choice Part 2

Part 1 Ao3

WARNING: Implied minor character death (Mimi)

“Well. That could’ve gone better.”

Michael knows he should feel irritated with his sister, but the only thing he feels is numb as he watches Alex walk further away. He’s limping, slightly, but he knows any kind of help will be ceremoniously shot down. Alex’s patience is saint-like, but anger him enough and you have the devil on your hands.

And right now he’s not just angry. He’s in pain, he’s tired. He’s devastated. Because he knew Michael wasn’t there for him. The one person he thought would come for him but he wasn’t expecting to see showed up because he was expecting to save someone else.

He keeps replaying the sob over and over again in his head.

“You have one hell of a lot of explaining to do, Michael.”

He closes his eyes, tilting his head towards Isobel, a familiar move to both of them. It’s one they do when they’re in deep distress and don’t want to speak, a move they’ve apparently done since being children. As far as they can tell it’s a move designed to show others of their species that they need something.

Isobel understands what he needs, as always, because she comes over and hugs him tightly to her. A gesture of comfort, but also to ground him with a tight squeeze that makes him more aware of where he is. Another of his own fantastic PTSD coping mechanisms.

“Is it true?”

“Yeah.” He opens his eyes, gaze finding Maria’s. “I did what you wanted, but he gave me the directions to Alex instead of Mimi. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t-.” She swallows hard, wipes her tears though they don’t stop. “Don’t be sorry. You got to save who you wanted to, I can’t be mad about that. Mom isn’t a threat to Jesse so maybe he will let her go?”

Her question doesn’t have hope, just quiet resignation. She doesn’t believe it any more than they do.

“I shouldn’t have forced you to go save Mom without letting you tell me about Alex. I tried to manipulate you and I shouldn’t have.”

“You didn’t. I wanted to save her for you,” he says. Isobel releases him but doesn’t move far. He knows she’s studying Maria with narrowed eyes, can feel it in the way she’s tense next to him.

“Yes, I did. Let me be sorry for that, Michael. And let me be sad and angry that Jesse fooled you. But I’m not sorry Alex is alive. You saved the right person. Your relief about him being alive is obvious.”

“I’m still-“

“No, Michael.” She comes over and lays her hand on his cheek, softly stroking with her thumb. “You love him. Don’t ever be sorry about that.”

“I love you too.”

“I know. But not the same way you love him. I’ve been denying it for so long because I wanted to be selfish and have you. But I hurt my best friend over it, and it’s time I stop.”

He knows Alex is walking away behind him, he wants to run and beg on his knees for forgiveness. But Maria deserves his attention. He does love her, could love her forever if only Alex Manes wasn’t a factor. But a factor he is, and he’s weirdly proud of it finally being out there. It feels freeing, probably because he’s never been able to be open about his love for Alex.

“You’ve been the best girlfriend I’ve ever had,” he says, dead serious. He’s weirdly proud again of how it makes her giggle through her tears.

“I’m the only girlfriend you ever had,” she replies. Her face sombers, her hand falls from his face. “But it’s time for you to go to your only boyfriend. It’s him you want, Michael.”

“Finally you’ve come to your senses,” Isobel mutters, mock glaring at both of them when they turn to look at her. “I’ve only been waiting for ten months.”

“Iz-”

“No. I did encourage you in the beginning because I thought this was what you needed.” Her eyes flicker to Maria. “What both of you needed. And maybe it was in the beginning, but you’ve been going through the motions with this thing because you’ve both been scared of what happens if you don’t. You might love each other, you might be happyish, but there’s no spark. Not anymore.”

There’s a slight uncomfortable silence after Isobel finishes speaking. But it’s uncomfortable because it’s true, not because it’s mean and a lie.

“You don’t hold anything back, do you, Evans.”

“I do actually. Maybe if I hadn’t, Alex wouldn’t have walked away thinking no one would ever pick him.”

It punches the air straight out of him again.

“Alex won’t let me near him right now,” he says, voice low. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself, nor does he feel bad about his relationship with Maria ending. He just feels like shit because he knows how bad Alex must be feeling.

“First of all, you don’t know that. Second of all, your feelings don’t matter right now,” Isobel says, not unkindly, just directly. “The only feelings that matter are his. Sorry Maria.”

“No need, I already made this about me once, it’s time it’s about him,” Maria says while she wipes her eyes once again. She’s stopped crying for now even if sorrow is still on her face. “But if I’m around he’s not going to believe you right now. So I’m gonna go see Liz.”

She moves close to Michael again, hugging him and kissing his cheek softly. He can’t help but cling back. He is going to miss the closeness with her, but maybe in the future they can get it back. As friends.

“Good luck, Guerin,” she whispers in his ear. He tightens his arms around her for just a second more, before he lets her go and lets her walk away from him and into the Pony. He’s two for two on people he loves walking away from him today, it doesn’t feel good.

“She didn’t walk away. She gave you the space you need,” Isobel murmurs on his right, her hand snaking around his shoulders and pulling him right to her, smacking a kiss to his right temple. “Now you’re going to let me tell you what an idiot you’ve been.”

-----

He tries to get in touch with Alex over the next few days. Not hounding him, not stalking or annoying him. Just a text each morning to say he’s sorry, that he’s hoping for a chance to explain, that even if Alex doesn’t believe it, he is really happy that he was the one he saved.

He never gets a reply, he doesn’t expect one. He just hopes for the opportunity one day.

Though he does know Alex is fine, if Isobel is to be believed. She won’t tell him anything, nothing about how Alex is or how he’s feeling, though Michael doesn’t really want her to tell him anyway. He wants to find out for himself. But knowing that she talked to Alex and he hasn’t skipped town does reassure him.

He does know Alex joined in on searching for his father to see if they could find Mimi, to get an answer about her fate. He doesn’t know what they found, he hasn’t asked and he doesn’t want to. Knowing Maria doesn’t blame him does nothing to assuage his guilt of not finding her mother as he promised, nor coming back with the wrong person. Even if both of them know it wasn’t the wrong person. He still hopes Mimi might be alive by some miracle.

But he doesn’t ask, nor does he offer his services. They’ll let him know if they need him, the way they always do. Until then he’ll stay at the Junkyard and do his job and stay out of their way, the way they need him to.

-----

A week after the kidnapping, after breaking people's hearts, after staying out of people’s ways (except Isobel, who just gives him disapproving looks and steals his beer), he wakes up to the rumble of a truck outside the Airstream. He can hear that it’s a newer truck from the smoothness of the engine and checks the clock. Seven am is on the early side for him, and he contemplates rolling over before he hears the sharp slamming of a car door. He can hear steps moving towards the Airstream, and sits up with a sigh just as a sharp knock bangs against the door.

“Coming!” He shouts, finding his jeans on the floor by the bed and swinging his legs over the side of the bed to put them on. His shirt goes on next, but he foregoes shoes for now as he walks over to the door and opens it.

He doesn’t expect Alex to be standing there in fatigues. But it does explain the truck sounding newer, he does know Alex got a new car recently.

“Al- Alex,” he stutters out, despite never stuttering before in his life. He might not like the military all that much, but he can’t deny that Alex looks amazing in the uniform. He wonders if he’ll spontaneously combust should he see him in the dress uniform.

“Guerin,” Alex replies. He looks cool as a cucumber, the way he usually does. Michael remembers a time he hated Alex’s mask of indifference. Now he understands the need for it.

“Wh-.” He stops himself before asking why Alex is there. He wanted him to be there, after all.

“It’s good to see you,” he says instead.

“You too,” Alex replies. Though Michael is unsure if he really means it or not.

“Already having issues with the new truck? I can take a look if you want me to.”

“No,” Alex says shortly, though no annoyance in his voice. Yet. “I’m not here for that.”

“Okay. What can I do for you?”

“You can stop texting me. Stop trying to contact me, stop trying to make yourself feel better. I’ve had enough.”

Michael is a little bit unsure if he actually deflates or it, it certainly feels like it. It’s painful, but he understands.

“Okay. If that’s what you want then I will.”

“It is.”

He nods, looking down on the ground so he doesn’t have to look at Alex. He knows he fucked up, no one else he can blame but himself. “I’ll leave you alone then. Thank you for stopping by.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Michael,” Alex bursts out, making Michael jump in shock. “‘Thank you for stopping by?’ I’m here telling you to stop contacting me and all you can say is thank you for stopping by?”

“I’m trying to respect your wishes!”

“So you’re just going to roll over and not fight?”

“Why?” Michael asks. “Do you want me to fight?”

“I…” Alex breaks off, clenching his teeth. Michael can see his hands balled into fists, tightening and releasing in a way that’s so very Alex. “I’m so fucking pissed at you.”

“I know.”

“I was okay with dying. I was okay with not seeing you before I did because you would get Mimi. But instead, instead you walked through my door. And I have never been more heartbroken to see you. Because you didn’t pick me. How could you not pick me?”

“I-”

“And Maria told me she somehow manipulated you but we both know that if you didn’t want to go for Mimi, you wouldn’t have. But you did. You went, expecting to find Mimi but you got me,” Alex barrels on, not noticing that he was trying to speak.

“Alex-”

“Were you even relieved? Or were you just sad you couldn’t do what you promised her?”

“Of course I was fucking relieved!” He shouts before Alex can say anything else. “I wanted to save you. I got the text and thought `how the hell can I get to Alex’!”

“Then why didn’t you?!”

”Because Isobel convinced me I needed to tell Maria about Mimi, and then I couldn’t say no when she wanted me to get her mom. And I convinced myself you could get out on your own.”

Alex scoffs. “Yeah sure, taken hostage by my father, who fucking hates me and everything I stand for, of course I could get myself out.”

“I didn’t say it was thought through. But it was the only way I could go get Mimi without tearing myself apart.”

Alex sighs, rubbing a hand across his eyes. The sun is rising now, a beautiful red and golden sunrise. Michael always wanted to watch a sunrise like this with him.

“Alex. I’m sorry. I should’ve picked you, I always should’ve picked you. But I can’t be mad that I didn’t, because you’re here and you’re alive. And I am so fucking happy about that,” Michael says, shooting a small smile Alex’s way when he meets his eyes.

“I might be mad, and hurt, that you didn’t. But I can’t be mad either, because at least I got to have this conversation with you.” Alex shakes his head, minutely and slightly shaking. “But it doesn’t matter, my dad got the last laugh anyway.”

“What do you mean, your dad got the last laugh?” Michael inquires. He knows Jesse did this to torment them, but it feels like Alex means something more by it.

Alex sighs, and looks around, sorrow in his eyes. Like he’s memorizing everything.

“I found Mimi.” Michael wants to feel happy, but he just knows that’s not the end of the sentence. “And in exchange for getting her back… let’s just say I’ll be gone for a while.”

And for the third time in too short of a while, everything in Michael goes cold.

“So that was his play all along.” He shouldn’t be surprised, but he is. Jesse’s ability to manipulate situations to his own advantage will probably never cease to amaze, and disgust, him.

“Yes,” Alex answers. “I’m leaving Roswell. I’m gonna go get Mimi and bring her back. After that, I’m gone, classified location. If my dad finds out I’ve been in contact with you, he will kill you.”

“Then let him, I’m not letting you go again.” A fire rises within him and he's angry, angrier than he’s been in a while. Probably since Max died and he spiraled into a hole of self-hatred and substance abuse. He’s not making the same mistake again. It’s time he gets over himself, time he does what Alex says and stops feeling sorry for himself. He has too, if he’s going to feel like he’s worth this.

“There’s no other choice, Michael.”

“What, you’re just giving up?”

“If you take on my dad, you’ll not only take on him but the entire US Air Force as well. Which I am still a part of.” Alex’s voice is back to being hardened now. He’s not fucking around. Michael has doubts he ever was, regardless of how many times he was left behind because Alex had to leave and Michael thought he was being abandoned. Pushing Alex’s buttons might not be the smartest thing he’s done lately but he still revels in the spark he can see in his eyes. Challenging him is in Michael’s second nature, right alongside Cosmic and Never Looking Away.

“Do you want me to fight?”

Alex glances around again, almost like he’s looking for something. His gaze scours the early morning junkyard around them, cataloging things in a methodical way. He’s all soldier at that moment, and Michael understands without a doubt that Alex did learn to fight battles when he left at 18. Because the man in front of him does everything in his power to win.

“Yes.”

And now Michael must learn the same.

[ryder-s-block]

Jaig Eyes (Ch 57)

Jaig Eyes (57/?)

Summary:

Kida, a former slave who now thrives as a bounty hunter, finds herself sucked into the war she advised Jango Fett against. Now that she’s involved, she has to finally mourn the loss of Jango, seeing his face in the clones that man the GAR. What happens when she allows herself to get attached to one, not for his resemblance to her former mentor, but for his heart?

————————-

Chapter Fifty-Seven: Hunted

“Ahsoka, it’s time to go.” I heard Kalifa rousing the padawan, my head lifting immediately. I was used to sleeping light, even more so than Ahsoka was. She spent much of her life in the Temple, safe from harm.

Mine was spent with a sharpened piece of metal under my pillow, clenched in tiny hands.

“What’s happened?” Ahsoka asked as she sat up. I adjusted my armor as I stood, brushing away the dirt and leaves stuck on it.

“The sun’s almost up,” the youngling explained, “Which means we clear out.”

Ahsoka rose with us, following the younglings to the edge of the cave. “Where do you go?”

“We keep moving and keep those disgusting hunters from picking up our scent.”

The padawan and I exchanged a glance. “That’s your plan?” Ahsoka scoffed.

Kalifa turned on us, giving us glares. “If you really are a padawan, you would know that there’s wisdom in experience. We’ve been here longer,” she bit, but I could tell she meant well with her firmness. “You will learn if you listen, and only….” she glanced at me, “If you listen.” 

I frowned, but Ahsoka seemed to accept the terms for now, so I didn’t give a fuss. We moved swiftly through the twisting vines of the forest canopy, the lithe bodies of the Jedi making it easy for them to maneuver. I could have gone without the slight reflectiveness of my armor. But….knowing the Trandoshan leader wanted it made me keep it on. 

What could I say? I had pride issues.

By the time I felt we were far enough away from the camp to throw off the scent trail, Kalifa ducked quickly, waving her hand at us behind her. “Get down.” She crawled forward a bit, peering over the edge of the curling branches we were perched on. “Someone’s coming.”

We all crawled to her side to see two figures below us--one of which I recognized. “Those two came in with us,” Ahsoka whispered, noticing the male she’d talked to back on the transport. “We should help them.”

She and I both shifted forward, but were stopped by the youngling arms on us. “No,” Kalifa insisted quietly, “It’s too late.” Ahsoka and I frowned at each other, but said nothing as we looked down at the victims we couldn’t save. 

The male who’d explained we’d been kidnapped was gunned down first, the blast coming from somewhere to our right. We all leaned backwards, searching frantically through the canopy to find the source of the laughing hunter.

“Look at her run,” the Trandoshan laughed as the second victim ran for her life. He followed her with a rapid spray of shots.

Ahsoka stood beside me, determined to help. Kalifa stopped her with a hand to her shoulder and a desperate shake of her head. Jinx gave me a look as if he expected me to jump up, too. I shook my head at him, looking back to watch the poor female be hunted.

I was a hunter myself. I knew when prey was cornered. 

“It’s your shot,” the Trandoshan said to his companion. “Take her out.” She was dead a moment later, her body falling lifelessly to the forest floor. 

Kalifa and the younglings parted quickly, this being a common occurrence in what they’d come to call their normal life. Ahsoka was still staring at the Trandoshan’s prey, anger in her eyes. I squeezed her shoulder gently, bringing her focus back to us so she could follow the group. She gave me a determined look with her cerulean eyes, making me smile only gently. I knew what was coming.

“We could have stopped them,” she declared finally, when we were a safe distance away and higher in the trees. 

Kalifa turned, looking weary. “No, Ahsoka. We’re not saviors here. Here, we are survivors.” She continued in her climb, the group following in silence as she muttered to herself. “If they had spotted us, we’d be dead now.”

“We’ll never get out of here if we just keep hiding,” the Togruta insisted. “We have to act.” I crossed my arms as the younglings sat before Ahsoka to rest. I agreed with her, but I also understood the fatigue that came with surviving on your own with no hope of being saved.

Jinx laughed darkly; it wasn’t long….only a gentle huff of breath….but it showed great sadness. “There were other Padawans here that once thought as you do now,” he sighed.

“Alright,” Ahsoka chirped, perking up slightly. “Where are they?”

There was a rush of anger from Kalifa, sadness blooming from the two boys. “They all died, didn’t they?” I asked quietly, feeling their grief. Kalifa stood angrily, crossing her arms as she looked away.

“Just because they failed doesn’t mean we will,” Ahsoka pushed, her leadership showing through.

It was O-mer’s turn to speak. “You don’t understand,” he said, “It’s not that we don’t want to fight. We’re younglings. They have every advantage.”

I frowned, looking over their hopeless faces. And then in my peripheral, I saw Ahsoka hop away. “Wh-” Kalifa stuttered, rushing after the padawan. “Get back here!”

“I can’t do that,” Ahsoka responded smoothly at the edge of a dipping branch. “My master would never forgive me for running and hiding in a situation like this.” She was right, of course. I knew Skywalker. He would be fighting as hard as she wanted to in order to escape.

“Don’t overestimate your abilities,” Kalifa insisted, her voice desperate. I could feel her fear.

Ahsoka glanced over her shoulder, looking over the group. I gave her a nod with a small smile. She knew I’d catch up. “I’m not,” she said finally before sliding down the branch easily.

“Ahsoka, don’t!” Kalifa cried, to no avail. I didn’t move as they all watched her go, the young Togruta disappearing into the forest. “What will she do?” That was directed at me.

I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could. “Knowing Ahsoka? Probably to go find herself a Trandoshan hunter to fight.”

“Another padawan lost to this island,” Jinx sighed, shaking his head sadly.

I arched my brow, popping my hip. “You’re wrong, you know,” I said to O-mer, earning their attention with surprise. “Being a youngling isn’t a disadvantage. It’s an asset.” I walked forward, displaying my armor. It was lacking the usual gadgets, of course, but they got the point. “The Jedi have been feared and respected by many for ages. The Mandalorians even developed specific techniques to fight them.” I scanned my hard gaze over all of them, putting on my bounty hunter scowl. “And that includes Younglings. These hunters have skills you don’t, sure. Training you don’t.” I stopped, looking in the direction Ahsoka had run off in. “But you have training and abilities that they couldn’t even imagine. I never met a Jedi that gave up. So if you all want to be more than just younglings one day,” I looked them over with a scowl, “Maybe you should try acting like Jedi.”

I leapt off my branch, landing deftly on one a few meters below before racing after my friend. Knowing her, she had already found herself a Trandoshan and was trying to fight him right now. But….also knowing Trandoshans, I knew she’d be having one hell of a fight right now.

As I ran, I recalled the story Cody had told me so long ago, about his own fight with a Trandoshan. Cody was a refined warrior who had the drop on the Trandoshan and Rex with him…..and he still almost died.

I picked up my pace a bit.

When I emerged, I saw Ahsoka fighting hand to hand against a Trandoshan. She was wrapped around his back, doing her best to choke him out. He was too strong, though, throwing her away and heading for his gun.

I pounced from the branches above as the hunter dove for his weapon. Planting my heel into his head as I fell. He careened away from the blaster as I landed, my knees bending to cushion the impact.

Ahsoka got up as I charged the Trandoshan, forcing him backwards towards her with a series of kicks and sharp jabs--Jango had trained me to fight large targets, considering I was a young human female and there were a lot of creatures much bigger than me out there. The padawan came up behind him, kicking out his knee and doing her best to try and choke him out again.

Claws dragged across my beskar, scraping loudly before falling off the edge and into my skin. I grit my teeth, doing my best not to cry out and alert nearby hunters. The Trandoshan threw his head back, slamming into Ahsoka’s nose and throwing her backwards. He dragged my forward by where his claws clamped around my beskar and into my flesh, holding me in the air before him.

“It seems I get the Mandalorian and the Jedi,” he hissed in my face.

And I became aware of another presence. One emulating with determination and anger. Darkness surrounded Kalifa as she approached with her fellow younglings, lifting her hand. The Force clamped around the Trandoshan’s neck, the creature releasing me as he was yanked into the air.

I collapsed to the ground, hissing through my teeth at the throbbing in my right forearm. “Kalifa!” I heard Ahsoka cry as she ran to my side. The Trandoshan was still suspended in the air, the youngling’s Force grip on his throat slowly killing him. I nodded at Ahsoka to tell her I was okay so she could run to the girl’s side, smoothing her hand over Kalifa’s to relax it. “Don’t kill him out of hatred,” the Togrtuta advised, wise beyond her years. “It’s not the Jedi way.”

The Trandoshan fell beside me as I finally found my feet, cradling my wound to my chest. Sure, they were Jedi and had their Code….but I still wanted to kill this shabuir. The creature threw back his head, letting out a loud, screeching call.

I kicked out, silencing him with a heel to the jaw. Still, he swatted me aside easily. Jinx and O-mer tried next, but were thrown away easily. Thankfully, I was familiar with some of the training the younglings received, since I’d spent time with Ahsoka. I knew the formation they would make around the Trandoshan, so I joined in, corralling him in. Jinx and O-mer teamed up again, this time taking my advice and using the abilities they have over the Trandoshan.

Together, the shove him with the Force, launching him into the base of a tree. He slumped forward, unconscious, his tongue sliding out past his sharp teeth.

“The others will be coming,” Kalifa announced worriedly. We bolted. A part of me wanted to take the Trandoshan will us, in order to question him. I had my ways, after all. But getting a mostly unconscious lizard creature all the way back to our cave without getting caught? Especially after he sent out a distress call?

Not a chance.

Thankfully, I saw Ahsoka scoop up his blaster as we ran, though I doubted it would help. “I’m glad you all decided to come along,” I huffed as we ran, leaping through the branches as the sun danced lower into the sky. 

“If we hadn’t,” Jinx said back to me over his shoulder, “You’d both likely be dead.” I wanted to retort that he was wrong….but I wasn’t sure if he was. Sure, the act Ahsoka and I had put on was with the intent to inspire the younglings into action. That had worked, but maybe not as smoothly as we’d hoped.

---------------------------------

That night, we crowded around a fire inside the youngling’s cave. I sat near the edge, looking out at the hunting grounds under the moonlight. I was hidden, knowing Trandoshans could be night hunting somewhere still. But I didn’t like being cooped up in the cave with the incredibly negative younglings.

“I don’t understand,” Ahsoka expressed from inside as she examined the blaster she’d taken from the Trandoshan. “Why won’t this thing work?” I watched her from my place near the entrance. 

My mind mulled over possibilities. A DNA encoding modification that only allowed their species to fire them? Or maybe they had them all rigged to a particular activation sequence. 

Jinx answered for me from where he sat in his makeshift bunk. “The Trandoshans deactivate the blasters if we take them,” he explained, frustrated. “That is why none of us have any.” I certainly didn’t appreciate his snark, but said nothing as I watched three birds nestling on single branch that led to our hideaway. Ahsoka threw the useless blaster behind her, pushing her knuckles against her forehead in frustration.

“It’s been a long time since the Trandoshans captured another padawan and brought them here,” Kalifa expressed from across the fire.

Ahsoka crossed her arms, scoffing. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t mean it as an insult,” the youngling insisted, “I meant it as a sign, a mistake...on their part. Ahsoka, your energy. Your strength. It’s what we’ve been lacking.” Kalifa rose with excitement as I finally shifted further into the cave, drawing closer to the fire as the night grew colder. “And that they brought a Mandalorian warrior who happens to be on our side at the same time?” Kalifa continued as she paced around the fire. She seemed like she was on a roll, so I elected not to interrupt to say I wasn’t actually a Mando. Even though my snarky side desperately wanted to. “We were beginning to lose hope and forgot who we are.”

Jinx leapt down beside his fellow younglings as they looked across the fire at the dirtied padawan. “And who are you?” Ahsoka asked.

The group of younglings puffed their chests, straightening their backs. “We are Jedi,” Kalifa announced, Ahsoka rising with a smile.

“About time,” I said from where I leaned a bit outside the group, giving them each a smirk. They returned it, thankfully, already catching on to my humor style. “So,” I continued, looking around the group. “What’s our strategy?”

“What do you suggest?” Jinx asked Ahsoka.

“Well, what about a base?” my friend responded immediately, obviously forming a plan of her own inside her mind. “I mean, they must have a compound or something, right?”

Kalifa shrugged slightly. “Not that we’ve ever seen.”

“So where do they come from?” Ahsoka asked.

“Well, we don’t know,” Kalifa said, “We’ve only witnessed them hunting and in their hover pods.”

Ahsoka turned from the younglings, looking at me as she thought through her plan. “If we’re going to go on the offensive, we’ll need to find out where they live.”

“Those pods aren’t made for long distance,” I chimed in, earning their attention. “Wherever their base is, it can’t be too far.”

“Could it be off-island?” Jinx asked, sounding like he was being genuine, rather than snarky. Finally.

I chewed my lip while thinking, mulling over the parts of the island I’d seen already. “From what I’ve seen so far, probably not. They are pretty short range, meant for a lot of still hovering rather than constant movement. I haven’t seen any other islands on the horizon, so any other land base is probably too far.”

Ahsoka nodded, bedding down. “We’ll start covering ground tomorrow.” I couldn’t help but smile at her tone, watching the younglings obey without question, crawling into their own places to sleep. Her master would be proud if he were here. Then again, if he were here, he’d be trying to lead everyone and we’d never see her shine.

I laid down, eyes scanning over our little group of survivors. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I was a magnet for trouble. Maybe it was my Sith heritage? Or the Force trying to screw with me?

Or just really terrible luck.

My beskar was starting to make me sore where it pressed against my skin when I slept, but I didn’t take it off. I knew the rule. You don’t take off your armor until you’re safe and don’t need it anymore to protect you.

I was anything but safe here.

--------------------------------------------

The Force trembled with darkness, the room flickering with orange and red light. For a moment, my heart leapt to my throat, my nerves aflame as I wondered if I was back in Darth Bane’s tomb. My worry lessened only slightly when I heard the growling of Trandoshan’s and the slamming of fists on tables.

“Dar! Dar! Dar! Dar! They chanted, endlessly.

I knew the name. He was the leader’s son. The one hunting Ahsoka. I turned in my vision, willing it to clear. My stomach turned when I saw the trophies that decorated the hunter’s walls. Full Wookie pelts. A stuffed Gundark. Skulls of every creature imaginable, many I knew to be sentient.

The Trandoshans were still chanting while I focused on them, watching Dar approach his father’s throne-like seat through the flames of their fire. The leader stood from his seat, decorated with the pelt of a Wampa, grasping Dar’s face in his massive claw. He threw back his head, letting out a long screech. The others joined in happily, drunk on their lust for blood.

I turned my head suddenly, feeling the Force ripple, to see Ahsoka’s horrified face. She was gone in a moment and I knew she had awoken from the vision we were apparently sharing. I stayed a moment longer, willing the Force to keep me in place. Watching the Trandoshans cry out their excitement for murder, my eyes caugh something shiny sitting on the armrest of the leader’s chair.

My lightsaber.

Looking up at the leader as he continued the ritual for his son’s hunt, I again recognized how grateful I was that I wasn’t a Jedi. I had no moral code to follow but my own. And right now, my moral coded wanted to murder this shabuir. 

So I decided I’d do what I could in order to accomplish that.

------------------------------------------

“We’ve already covered the beach area and most of the briar on this side of the bay,” Jinx lamented as we paused for a moment to rest. I was grateful for it. The climate was worn here and despite my armor being lightweight, it was still metal and long-sleeve. I was hot.

Ahsoka surprised them with a small laugh, but I only smiled, knowing what she’d say. “If it was easy to find, you guys would have found it before we got here.”

“True enough,” Jinx allowed, chuckling back.

Still, something still made no sense to me. If they’d lived there for so long, how had they never found anything? Surely they would have at least stumbled on some sign. 

“Maybe we should try more inland?” Ahsoka asked the group as I crossed my arms, thinking.

“There’s a lot more Trandoshans than just the ones we see here,” I reasoned aloud, silencing the group. No one responded, knowing I’d continue on my own. “There has to be more hunting grounds. So do they really hunker down on the island?”

“What are you suggesting?” Kalifa asked, unsure. “I thought you said their crafts can’t travel far.”

“Guys,” O-mer interrupted from where he lounged against the tree. “She’s right. We’re looking in the wrong place.” He pointed skyward, our heads craning to see a massive ship emerging from the clouds. “That’s their fortress.”

The Force rippled in warning, little dots coming off the fortress like bugs out of a hive. “Yeah,” I grumbled, shifting nervously. “A fortress that is raining hunters that want out skins.”

“Split up,” Kalifa cried, the group dividing.

I raced to my right, glancing sideways to see Ahsoka and Kalifa disappear in the other direction. Ducking behind the nearest tree, I watched as the leader and his son, Dar, raced after Ahsoka in their hover ship. I moved to follow, but leapt backwards as a spray of blaster bolts riddled the ground.

“Kida,” O-mer yelled as he passed me with his fellow youngling. “Come on!” I turned and ran after them, the second hovercraft on our tails. We ducked below a series of low hanging branches, Jinx leading us into a clearing.

The hovercraft engine hummed as it dipped the hunters in front of us, blocking our path. The Trandoshan at the helm grinned.

“Move!” I managed to spit before diving sideways to avoid the spray of the machine gun mounted on the hovercraft. O-mer and Jinx broke out to either side, so I went straight under the craft, scaling the trees and vines that climbed into the air behind it. The Trandoshan was focused on the boys, allowing me to get above him in the trees.

“O-mer,” I heard Jinx call from below. “This way!” 

The hovercraft moved to follow the boys just as I got into position. I grit my teeth, maneuvering my way through the canopy with tiring legs. After a long day of searching the island--which I now knew was fruitless and I was pissed off about it--my muscles were shot. I needed rest. And a meal.

And maybe a shot of rum.

But I pursued, doing my best to keep my focus on the task again and not with the Force signature of Ahsoka that was fading as she ran the opposite way. I stopped at some point during my pursuit, panting as I tried to catch my breath. The day had been long, the sun already beginning to dip towards the horizon, glancing off the atmosphere of Trandosha. I knelt to look down at the ground below, sensing that the boys were resting somewhere ahead. As I watched the Trandoshan hunter below kneel and sniff at a puddle of something blue. It was blood. Twi-lek blood.

The Trandoshan had their scent.

It let out a wild howl as it hopped back into its hovercraft, cutting off any possibility of my surprising him now. I leapt after him as he pursued the younglings. He had them cornered, the boys searching around desperately for an escape. I lunged from the branches above, falling down to land deftly on the back of the hoverpod. The Trandoshan snarled as he turned, but I struck out hard with my leg as I jumped up and over him to land on the opposite bar.

The hunter swung wildly, catching me with the back of his hand and sending me flying off the hovercraft. My side slammed into a branch, my arms aching as I tried to catch myself, but failed. Slinking like a Lothcat down a few branches, I finally found my feet, finding the barrel of the Trandoshan’s gun pointed at my eyes. 

“Osik,” I cussed under my breath, thankful I saved the younglings but wishing dearly that I wasn’t about to die for my good deed. I bolted, choosing flight over fight. The blasts pelted the ground behind me, chasing me like terribly aggressive rain. 

Two bolts caught me, one in the left thigh and the other in the chest. Thankfully, it was in the beskar.

That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt when it felt like I took a series of punches from a speeder, the skin at the edges burning slightly beneath my blacks as the heat resonated from the blasts. I grit my teeth, trying not to cry out as I stumbled and fell under the hit of the shots, falling down a few more branches to land heavily on the hard ground. 

Well, this sucked.

I turned on the ground, panting hard through the pain of being shot, hitting the ground, being electrocuted a few nights prior, and the rather unhealed, poorly wrapped gash on my right forearm. Man, this was a tough mission for me, huh?

I fought the urge to roll my eyes in the face of death as the Trandoshan chuckled with a guttural growl. “The boss wanted your armor for his wall, but I’m your beskar will be making a fine addition to mine instead.”

He was about to take the shot when Jinx appeared from the trees to the Trandoshan’s side, leaping onto the hovercraft and kicking the barrel of the machine gun aside. O-mer appeared beside me, helping me up.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his brows crinkling when I winced as I stood. 

I nodded, breathing through the pain as Jinx wrestled with the Trandoshan. I turned to see the Twi’lek thrown our way, landing beside us. “Time to go,” I announced as we all ran together, rushing through the vines.

Still, as long as we ran, there never seemed to be an end to the Trandoshan hunter’s determination to murder us. “This isn’t working,” O-mer panted as he pounced past me on a branch. “We need to lose him.”

“No,” I huffed back, earning confused looks. “We need to stop him.” We ducked behind a thick twist of vines and branches, struggling to catch our breath in the setting sunlight. The Trandoshan hovercraft moved slowly through the trees in the distance. “He has your scent,” I commented, nodding to the cut on Jinx’s shoulder. “He’s not going to stop and he’ll lead all the others to us.”

“I can’t go back to the hideout,” Jinx realized, keeping his voice down as he watched the hunter sniff the air. “I’m doomed.”

“Their fortress is in the sky,” I muttered, ginning. “We can’t outrun him,” I allowed, “But we can fight him. Three against one is something we can handle, especially if we surround him. Maybe we can even get his hovercraft.”

They nodded, Jinx glancing me over as we shifted in our hiding place to stay out of sight a moment longer. “Are you alright to take the front approach? Your armor--”

“I agree,” I cut him off, holding up my hand. I had the best armor. It only made sense for me to approach the most dangerous way as I had the highest chance of success. “Let’s do this.”

The split from my side without another word, Jinx heading downwind to try and keep his scent as far from the Trandoshan’s seeking nose as possible. I waited a moment to let them make some ground through the trees before rushing out. I ran headfirst at the Trandoshan, seeing his sharp-toothed smile as he leveled his weapon at me. 

Diving behind the first cover I could, I waited as he rained fire over where I was hiding. I kept my head down, waiting until I heard the blaster fire stop, Jinx and O-mer obviously engaging the hunter. I charged out, having to leap over O-mer’s soaring body when the Trandoshan threw him like a projectile.

The Force helped me leap to the front of the hovercraft, glaring at the Trandoshan that had Jinx’s head between his claws. He growled at me, his throat clicking. I gave him my best bounty hunter scowl before hurtling the front bar and planting my foot into his teeth. Jinx dropped beside me, falling into the controls. The hovercraft careened, all of us reaching for whatever we could. The craft slammed sideways into a series of branches, one of the engines blowing to make us spin even faster.

“Jump,” I cried, but a claw clamped over my ankle, holding me back. The Trandoshan growled as he tried to pull me backwards. Fingers wrapped tightly around the bar, I twisted in the air as we spun, kicking out with my other foot to no avail.

Jinx appeared beside me. I’d told him to jump and I had half a mind to yell at him for not listening. Then again, I was grateful for him as he helped release me from the clawed prison. We jumped together, the Force propelling us away as the hovercraft crashed, exploding in a blossom of light and sound. 

I wiped the dirt from my face as Jinx and I righted ourselves, O-mer rushing to our sides. The hovercraft burned amongst some of the trees, the smoke billowing up like a signal. “Thanks for the help,” I offered, groaning slightly as I rose. I used the new height to peer into the flames, seeing a Trandoshan claw among the wreckage. “Looks like your scent is officially lost,” I said to Jinx.

“Maybe,” O-mer allowed, “But we need to go. Every hunter near on the island will have seen that explosion.

“Or the smoke,” I agreed. “It’s time to go.”

We hurried off after I brushed off their insistence to tend to my wounds first. I knew my limits. My pain could be managed until tonight when it would be safe to take off my armor and look at the damage. I knew, as we ran, that so long as we stayed under the radar, we’d be safe for the rest of the day.

Still, while we hoped collectively to meet Ahsoka and Kalifa at the hideout tonight….I felt a darkness swirl in the Force while we ran. “I’ll kill you!” I heard a familiar voice snarl through the Force, nearly making me stumble as I flinched mid-step. “You killed my son! I’ll kill you!”

I brushed off the concerns of the younglings, glancing at the sky to see the sun was continuing to dip towards the horizon. Ahsoka was out there somewhere. The boys brushed past me as I paused to look over the island, the smoke from our little battle billowing in the distance. 

“Kida?” O-mer asked, his face looking drawn beneath all the mud. “Are you coming?” It was weird how they had started to let me lead. Maybe it was because they were used to following Kalifa.

The thought of her sent a ripple of darkness over me, making me turn back to the horizon with worry. “Of course,” I said, sliding down the small branch to catch up with the younglings. I didn’t know for sure, so I said nothing….but I had a feeling Kalifa wouldn’t be coming back to the cave that night.

---------------------------------

MANDO’A

Shabuir-- motherfucker

--------------

Author’s Note:

I apologize if there was any confusion with the last chapter. It is not missing anything. “Pillow Talk Part Two” is a reference to Chapter 22, “Pillow Talk,”  in which Rex and Kida have their first discussion sharing a bed on Cut’s farm. As some of you have likely guessed at this point, this will be a reoccurring thing every once in a while. Whenever they have a cute or important conversation before or after sleep via pillow talk, which will be some of their only time alone considering the war.

Again, sorry about confusion. As always, likes/reviews/reposts/comments/shares are always appreciated and encouraged!

-Ryder

[cutepresea]

4-11 A Light That Pierces the Clouds: Erosion

Sorry again for the spam.

If you want to blacklist these, you can use either the tag #a light that pierces the clouds for just this event, or #xdu event scripts or #xdu scripts

Reminder that these are copied straight from XD Unlimited itself, so any grammatical weirdness, mistranslations, and/or mischaracterizations are not my doing.

Hibiki Tachibana: (My chest feels suffocated... It burns...)

Hibki Tachibana: (It hurts! Somebody help me...)

Hibiki Tachibana: (No... No one will come. No matter how close they get, they'll always leave in the end.)

Miku Kohinata: "Hibiki. Come on, Hibiki..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "...Huh?"

Miku Kohinata: "It's impressive that you're eating breakfast while sleeping, but keep it up and you'll be late for class."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Class? At Lydian? Why are you wearing that uniform?"

Miku Kohinata: "Are you still half asleep? We got to school together. Of course I'm wearing my uniform."

Miku Kohinata: "Here's your bag. I put in all your textbooks. We can run to class after you finish eating."

Miku Kohinata: "Are you done eating? Then let's go."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Huh?! Just... another dream?"

Hibki Tachibana: (She said she was here from a parallel world. Why have I been having  these dreams since meeting her?) [1]

Hibiki Tachibana: "...What does it matter? I'm always along, anyway."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Again... What is this? A stone? It's... metal?"

Hibiki Tachibana: "......"

Hibiki Tachibana: (It feels like there's been gradually more of these things in proportion to the pain in my chest.)

Hibiki Tachibana: "......"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "I can't believe there're so many Noise. I wonder if those three on the other side are all right."

Kirika Akatsuki: "We should be worried about ourselves first... Things are getting pretty rough."

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "Even so, we have to do this. Let's keep it up, Kiri-chan."

Kirika Akatsuki: "Of course. But if we could use X-Drive, we could clear out these Noise easily."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "No point in asking for what you can't have. We'll just have to do our best!"

Sakuya Fujitaka: "We've got more Noise signals in the vicinity!"

Aoi Tomosato: "Wielder vital signs are declining! If they carry on fighting any longer..."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Grr, fine then! We'll seal off the area and order the wielders to retreat."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "I refuse to retreat!"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Tsubasa?!"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "There's too many Noise. If we retreat now, who knows how much damage they'll do?"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "With Tachibana as she is and Maria's group in the parallel world, our job is hold this line to the death!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Yeah... Maria's doing everything she can."

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "We were entrusted with this world, so we'll see this through to the end!"

Genjuro Kazanari: "...Fine. But don't do anything stupid! We're sending out a rescue squad right now!"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Well said, you two. Now... Let's do this!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Haah... Haah... G-Got it..."

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "...I can still fight!"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "That's right... Wring out whatever power's left in you!"

Kirika Akatsuki: "Haah... Haah... Haah... How's that?"

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "Did we defeat them all?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "All Noise signals in the vicinity have vanished."

Genjuro Kazanari: "That was a hard fought battle out there. Well done!"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Understood. Returning to base immediately."

Genjuro Kazanari: "No, we've sent a helicopter to get you. Stand by."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "Roger that."

Kirika Akatsuki: "Standby? I can barely walk, let alone stand."

Shirabe Tsukuyomi: "I want to lay down here and sleep..."

Tsubasa Kazanari: (That huge swarm was like something from Solomon's Cane.)

Tsubasa Kazanari: "What's going on?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "A big welcome back to the three of you."

Elfnein: "I'm glad you're all safe."

Maria: "Never mind us. How are things going here?"

Chris Yukine: "Man... I could cut the tension here with a butter knife."

Miku Kohinata: "Tsubasa-san and the others aren't here..."

Genjuro Kazanari: "They were fighting Noise for a few days straight, which exhausted them. They're recuperating now."

Miku Kohinata: "Oh, no... Are they all right?!"

Genjuro Kazanari: "No need to worry. They aren't injured, just fatigued. They'll make a full recovery after a day of rest."

Miku Kohinata: "That's good to hear."

Chris Yukine: "Yikes. We came back at just the right time, then."

Maria: "Yeah, too close for my liking."

Miku Kohinata: "So, um... How's Hibiki doing?"

Elfnein: "She sometimes has fits and becomes very restless. When it gets really bad, we put her under sedatives."

Miku Kohinata: "Oh, no..."

Miku Kohinata: "I need to go check up on her!"

Maria: "There she goes... Let's leave those two alone for now."

Maria: "So, what's going on with the Gjallarhorn alert?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "It's still active. Actually, it seems to be getting worse."

Chris Yukine: "Getting worse? But we beat two of those Karma Noise! What's going on here?!"

Maria: "Considering the situation, it could be due to a threat even more deadly than the Karma Noise."

Chris Yukine: "Guh... Then it must be that big thing."

Genjuro Kazanari: "What big thing? What happened over there?"

Maria: "I'll explain. Have you heard of the complete relic, Goliath?"

Miku Kohinata: "Hibiki? She's still sleeping."

Miku Kohinata: (She looks so thin and pale... Even more so than before I went to the other side.)

Miku Kohinata: (Her hand... A hand that's joined so many others together...)

Miku Kohinata: "I will save you. So please, just hang on a little longer..."

Genjuro Kazanari: "The complete relic, Goliath. Something like that showed up?"

Chris Yukine: "You know about it?! Tell us in layman's terms!"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Sorry. This is the first I've heard of it."

Maria: "On the other side, they said that the U.S. entrusted them with it. Maybe their government is hiding it?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "It's not completely impossible, but I can't imagine they'd just reveal that information to us."

Chris Yukine: "Then it was all a waste of time..."

Elfnein: "Hold on. I think there is still a potential solution we can find from the information at our disposal."

Maria: "Elfnein?"

Elfnein: "It retreats when night falls, right? If so, how does Goliath differentiate between night and day?"

Chris Yukine: "What do you mean? It retreats when the sun goes down."

Elfnein: "Is it visually looking at the sun set?"

Maria: "You mean a change in the amount of light? I'm not sure if it has what we would call eyes."

Elfnein: "Yes, that is likely true. Which implies that its hours of hibernation and waking follow a fixed cycle."

Elfnein: "If it is determining night and day based on the amount of light, we might be able to trick it."

Maria: "That seems worth a shot."

Chris Yukine: "Sounds fun. So how do we prepare that kind of light?"

Genjuro Kazanari: "Ask Section 2 on the other side. They should be able to figure something out."

Maria: "Yeah. This just might work."

Chris Yukine: "All right! Then let's go back and mess up the big guy!"

Maria: "Wait. What about this side? We should at least wait until Tsubasa and the others fully heal."

Chris Yukine: "Oh, right..."

Genjuro Kazanari: "It'd be a big help if you wait here. Tsubasa and the others should wake up in a day or so."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "That won't be necessary..."

Maria: "Tsubasa?!"

Chris Yukine: "Are you sure you should be up?!"

Elfnein: "You must rest. Successive fights have caused your body fatigue and stress. You cannot recover this quickly."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "It's just fatigue. It's nothing compared to what Tachibana's going through."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "I will protect this world in her place."

Chris Yukine: "You may say that, but the others haven't woken up yet. As it stands--"

Tsubasa Kazanari: "No, they feel the same way, too. They're straining, but they're awake, and they're worried for Tachibana."

Tsubasa Kazanari: "If resolving the issues in the other world leads to Tachibana's recovery, then that's our top priority."

Maria: "Is she really looking that bad?"

Tsubasa: "Yes... I can't bear to look at her."

Elfnein: "Hibiki-san's fits are progressively becoming more frequent and intense."

Elfnein: "And her strength continues to weaken. If this continues, her life may be in danger."

Chris Yukine: "Are you serious?"

Maria: "I see now. We need to hurry back there."

Chris Yukine: "Yeah, you're right."

Hibiki Tachibana: "Hmph!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Raaaaaaagh!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Haah... Haah... Haah..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "This rumbling... Something's coming!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Guh..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "I don't know what the hell you are..."

Hibiki Tachibana: "But since you're here now... I'll tear you down, too!"

Aoi Tomosato: "Oh no! We're detecting a signal thought to be Goliath!"

Genjuro Kazanari: "What's going on?!"

Aoi Tomosato: "Gungnir's signal is on-site! Hibiki-chan... She's out there fighting alone!"

Genjuro Kazanari: "What?! She's mad! Where's Tsubasa?!"

Sakuya  Fujitaka: "She can't move due to the after-effects of the Superb Song."

Genjuro Kazanari: "Gah... Do as much as you can to support Hibiki-kun! Hurry!"

Sakuya Fujitaka: "U-Understood!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Guh! It's strong!"

Hibiki Tachibana: (It's way too powerful to fight head-on. If I take a clean hit, that'll probably be it for me.)

Hibiki Tachibana: (If only I had more power... more strength.)

Hibiki Tachibana: "Guh! Wh-What's going on? I feel... hot."

Hibiki Tachibana: (It's like my entire body's boiling... But!)

Hibiki Tachibana: "Hyaaaaah!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "I feel power flowing through me!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "I can fight now! I can beat it by myself!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Raaaaaaaagh! Guh... What?!"

Boy: "No! S-Somebody help me!"

Hibiki Tachibana: (He hasn't evacuated yet?! Why now?!)

Hibiki Tachibana: (Guh... I have to help him... No, I want to kill him...)

Hibiki Tachibana: "Huh? Wh-What was that?"

Hibiki Tachibana: (He's human, so I have to help him.) (Kill him! Slaughter the human!)

Hibiki Tachibana: "What... is this? Is there something inside me?"

Hibiki Tachibana: (It's like a vortex deep in my body... Spinning around and making me feel sick!)

Hibiki Tachibana: "Guh... Raaaaaaaagh!"

Hibiki Tachibana: "Get away! Run if you don't want to die!"

Boy: "A-Aaaaaaaah!"

Hibiki Tachibana: (No... I don't want to kill him... What's going on with me?)

Hibiki Tachibana: (Was it... what that Black Noise did to me?)

Hibiki Tachibana: "Oh, no! Crap!"

Hibiki Tachibana; "Ah... Gah!"

Hibiki Tachibana: (I can't move. I've taken too much damage...)

Hibiki Tachibana: "......"

Hibiki Tachibana: (Is this the end for me?)

Hibiki Tachibana: "It's gone... Why?"

Notes:

[1] There's a double space between "having" and "these"

[katsukisbeatingheart]

let me help

ao3!

there's a difference between hard-working and overworking.

word count: 1309

Crunching of the leather punching bag drew every possible scornful breath from your lips. It was hard enough trying to be a hero against the odds of people like the League of Villains, who constantly found ways to terrorize your school, in particular.

Not to mention trying to figure homework, classwork, hero-work, housework; there was enough stress already.

You didn't need the addition of weighty family ties dragging you down.

Everyone came with baggage, you knew.

It was normal, and usually you could shake it off like mere pebbles caught in your shoe.

This time though, everything felt like it was slowly becoming a heavier load. Cement trucks full of issues—family issues—as opposed to the previous, humble shoulder bag full of chaos.

You'd received jab after jab and comment after comment with a steeled will before you made it to UA. Now that you were on your own though, you'd expected to limit dealings with ball-and-chain insults.

I never asked for anything.

A slam of your elbow to the side.

I was obedient, and did as was expected of me.

Harsh blow from your knee to the center.

I supported myself, and worked as long and hard as I could.

Feverish throws of your knuckles to where you figured the face would be.

Why won't they just leave me alone?

White hot rage boiled under your skin and rushed to your head, blurring your sight. Upon complete animalistic instinct, you lashed out, shoving a palm to the fabric and spinning into a tight roundhouse kick landing closer to the base.

You slammed your hand into the swinging bag to steady yourself, leaning into your right knee for support.

You were tired and sweaty and emotionally spent, but the anger still clawed at your dizzying thoughts.

"You okay?"

You snapped to attention, twisting to get a good look at the person catching you at the worst possible time.

The red hair and sharp teeth came into focus quicker than his worried expression, but you heard his voice well enough to know how he was probably staring at you.

When you didn't respond, still panting and squinting with some kind of intensity he didn't understand, he continued—much more gently.

"...I'd thought I heard a yell—or two—and I-I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

You squinted a little bit harder, watching the already vague outline you could make out swim in front of you.

"I'm oka—"

The ground beneath you tipped. It was like being stuck in one of those tunnels at the carnival; the ones that spin and you have to get to the other side without falling over.

Gym Gamma's floor panned in rather quickly and you distantly registered that you were, in fact, falling.

There was a shout, thundering footsteps, and next thing you know, you were cradled in the grip of two very toned arms. Your head swiveled upward, and you peered into the harshly screwed up face of Kirishima, bent into overwhelming concern.

"What the hell?" His voice rattled through clenched teeth, and—not that you could really even see—if he could scrunch his nose and furrow his brow even more, he did.

Blink once. Twice.

"Kirishima? I thought that was you," you mumbled.

"Well, who else would it be?"

"I don't know; I wondered if maybe I was just hallucinating or something. Which would makes sense, because I think about you a lot, you know," the ease of your tone deluded from the incongruous pain ebbing away at your consciousness. You were fighting off the largest headache you'd had in quite some time.

Meanwhile, Kirishima was doing his best to avoid letting that last bit distract him. He cleared his throat and bit the stammer out of his throat before it could shake up his thoughts.

"Hey— c'mon, what are you doing overworking yourself? You need to take it easy; it'dls not very manly to run your body so deathly ragged," he chided softly, mindlessly wiping away the moisture collected around your cheeks. "Keep doin' that and I'll make sure you never work alone again," he added with a tiny laugh, hoping his gentle threat would get at least a smile out of you.

It didn't.

You pushed yourself up from his grasp, hastily moving to your feet.

"I can take care of myself just fine, thank you," you snapped.

Kirishima blinked in shock.

That was a little unexpected.

His eyebrows furrowed in a new kind of concern.

"H-hey wait—"

He reached for your upper arm, grabbing it with a grip just as firm as his Quirk. The sternness was a little unnecessary though, because you tipped over and right back into him with more ease than a signpost in a storm.

"I said I'm fine, now would you please just—"

"Leave you alone? I don't think so. I'm not about to just walk away when you're obviously in trouble. I want to help you!"

He was clearly agitated, and you flinched at the hurt in his voice, retreating a little deeper into his embrace. Kirishima was the kind to do anything for his friends, no matter what the case. It was unfair to just leave him to worry.

"What are you trying to prove?" His every syllable felt as fragile as the tension that had been tossed into the air. It was a moment before you gathered the courage to admit the truth.

Your lip quivered.

"Myself."

The hurt moved away and understanding took its place. He could relate to that. Eijirou just didn't know what was driving you to practically break yourself.

"Why?" He whispered.

Your voice cracked.

"My family."

Kirishima inhaled deeply, pulling you tighter to his chest to set his chin on the top of your head. Under normal circumstances, he probably would've been a flustered maelstrom right about now—but in the moment, there wasn't anything else he felt he needed to do more.

"I don't think there's anyone worth proving to that takes destroying yourself along the way, you know." He lightly rubbed shapes into your arm, trying to coax you into calm. "Especially because you don't have anything to prove. You're incredible, and as long as you know it, that's what counts, right?"

Deeply touched, the warmth he gave spread clear up your neck. You even felt your ears heat up. Thankfully, the fatigue covered for that.

"What if I said it was for me, then?"

"Self-destructiveness is unmanly," Kirishima grunted.

That managed to make you laugh; you'd been waiting to hear him say something like that.

Eijirou visibly brightened, more than ecstatic to see you smile—even if it was a little pained.

"Will you please let me take care of you?"

You placed your hand on his wrist, puffing a contentedly defeated sigh.

"Alright, alright, you win. You can after I take a quick nap, though," you hummed, eyes sliding shut as you nestled further into his lap.

Kirishima let every ounce of embarrassment he felt in the past few minutes get to him, and suddenly he was reduced to a stuttering, blushing mess.

"Wh—?! Y-you mean right here? Right now?"

"Good night, Eiji."

The boy shifted under you, and you felt him lean backward. His groan vibrated against your skin and you had to keep from smiling coyly.

You turned as if readjusting your place on a rather comfy pillow, curling into his abdomen.

"And thank you."

You didn't dare open your eyes to face him. The silence though, was enough to make you contemplate peeking—until you felt him shift, and stretch out on the matted gym floor. He gathered you into his arms again, silently pressing your head to the junction of his throat and collar bone.

With the way he held you, you knew he wasn't letting you go any time soon.

[ibookbm]

Book suitable night my mind

Book Summary Index

Have you ever been handcuffed to a slim area, and tried to get it out without achievement ... The greater she worked hard to get her out, the greater she felt stuck.

The appropriate technique to cast off this case is to act in a manner this is contrary to what you do. If you use brute force, to be able to make the situation worse, whilst if you could manipulate your impulse, which tells you to get from your hand quickly and loosen up your hand completely and insert your hand deeply in the area.

You create a larger void and you'll be capable of release your hand as effortlessly as you entered it.

Accept things: what you resist lasts The principle utilized in this case is just like the principle that we need to use with insomnia and sleep troubles.

If you need to sleep but be afflicted by insomnia, as an example, what method do you use to stand this case?

You will put all your effort into looking to eliminate sleeplessness with the aid of focusing on sleep and try and save you from thinking. But what you do will create attempt and strain, and a good way to no longer help you sleep, at the opposite, it will make your situation worse.

Change the way you view insomnia, or in different words, accept it and be more open to it. When you deal with the situation in this way, you will be calm enough to sleep without problems and remedy the trouble.

The much less you may reduce the pressure you put on your self - the strain right here is to ask yourself to sleep now - the less you reduce it, the less complicated it is going to be to sleep.

The greater there's an urgent want to sleep, the extra hard sleep becomes.

It is generally tough with a purpose to sleep at night if you have a crucial appointment the following morning. Why?

Because in this example you've got pressure to sleep quick.

When you try to sleep with rationale, you'll no longer be able to try this without difficulty, however, you may find yourself within the center of the day slumbering on the sofa while looking TV effortlessly.

Because the opposite is also authentic each time there is pressure to now not sleep, the less difficult it's miles to sleep, and the harder it isn't to sleep.

This approach is used by nurses in emergency rooms at night time. If an affected person, for instance, can not sleep, the nurse tells him that the health practitioner will come quickly to peer him, so she requests him now not to sleep. This succeeds in making many sufferers doze off because they've come below pressure to stay unsleeping for the doctor to peer.

Sleep machine What controls the sleep manner are  matters: • Biological clock Motivation for sleep

Biological clock

The biological clock controls the dates of feeling drowsy and the instances of feeling unsleeping via issuing chemical indicators within the daytime that make you sense wakeful and the disappearance of those signals at night make you sense sleepy.

So if you go to mattress very early or too overdue for the usual time (this is, an unexpected time) for the biological hour, then you will have issue snoozing or you will sleep poorly.

If you need to sleep nicely, you ought to admire your biological clock. You sleep and awaken often and progressively each day

Motivation machine for sleep

Let's flow to the second thing that controls sleep, that is the machine that drives sleep.

This gadget is called the inner stability machine and its function is to stability sleep and awaken.

The more sleep you pressure, the deeper it will let you sleep.

So that you can make this drive even extra, hold activities throughout the day.

If you use little or no strength in your day, you may not have a sturdy enough motivation to have a deep, non-stop sleep.

The impulse to sleep turns into more potent while you are awake and active throughout the day.

Also, do no longer try and make up in your sleep deprivation through growing the consumption of caffeine and stimulants in the standard.

Caffeine inhibits the manufacturing of a number of the chemicals vital for deep sleep - it sends the incorrect messages to your body and prevents the formation of a proper impulse to sleep

Practice your calm mind In the ultimate factors we pointed out the sleep machine and now we will speak approximately making ready our thoughts to sleep.

Let's begin with what we can call thoughts sporting events

Why do you experience exhausted all day but whilst you positioned your head on the pillow you find your self very active as if someone pressed your play button?

Many motives can make your mind lively whilst trying to sleep, the maximum important purpose among them is which you have exercised your mind to come to be active at the mattress without your intention.

Animals and people analytics to relate to stimuli, and in psychology, it is defined because of the factor that affects behavior in a selected path.

You have turned your mattress right into a stunt

I spent many nights activating vigilance, anxiety, and frustration even as sitting at the mattress and making it sexy for those behaviors.

The frequent association between your bed, your awakening, and your interest is what's the motive, but you could deactivate if you cancel that affiliation, and create a new affiliation, through exercise your body and thoughts on bed relaxation instead of activity in it

To do that, there are 3 vital guidelines to stay with:

Avoid performing vigilant activities in bed The first element which you ought to avoid is doing any pastime that you simplest do within the waking kingdom, and those sports consist of the use of the laptop, writing messages at the telephone, talking at the phone, gambling games or any hobby that causes your body to sense awake in mattress Be in bed while you are handiest snoozing or about to sleep The second component is which you most effective visit bed whilst you need to sleep and experience sleepy It is possible that when you begin to follow this rule you will sleep poorly, you'll no longer be able to sleep till late, however, you ought to assume strategically and accept that the modern-day few days of insomnia are a rate to build an excellent sleep device Get off the bed in case you aren't capable of sleep The 1/3 element is which you upward thrust from the mattress in case you can't sleep, in case you need the bed to remain as a place related to sleep as we agreed that you need to upward thrust from it while you experience insomnia, and it's miles better to go away the room as well. Get up and do another pastime, but provided this activity does not help with more alertness or greater interest. Watching TV in any other room may be a suitable choice, but you have to no longer watch a completely thrilling program that will make you wide awake until it ends! A buffer period between your daily activity and your sleep Also, one of the things that will help you calm your mind is a buffer duration that separates the energetic personality that you enjoy for the day from your comfortable personality required to sleep.

I suggest by way of the buffer duration, you could set aside a period of calm earlier than your bedtime each night time, in which you allocate time to perform sports a good way to decorate consolation and make you separate from your private existence.

An hour-lengthy buffer quarter, for instance, every day which you carry out calming interest

Regarding the calming hobby you will do, there are many pointers. You pick out what suits you great.

People vary inside the manner they cope with specific sports - for instance, gambling cards Some people play playing cards without any attention which will laugh, and some folks conflict to win the mission in the game.

The first group is playing cards have a chilled activity inside the buffer length But the second one organization is not appropriate for them because it will reason them extra tension. Get up at the mattress on the identical time each day Also, you have to organize your dozing and waking times regularly every day

You would possibly say that there is a conflict due to the fact I requested you to go to sleep best while you sense sleepy and now I ask you to go to sleep and awaken regularly.

What must I do if my sleep comes and I am no longer sleepy?

Apply the second rule that announces do no longer doze off besides when you are completely exhausted and experience sleepy, however even in case you sleep past due, preserve a steady waking time.

If you keep a hard and fast time for waking up, for instance, at 8 within the morning, when you sleep at the same time as you experience sleepy and fatigued, presumably at four inside the morning, you are building a more drive to sleep that you may use day after today. And if you wake up every day at the equal date, you may begin to experience the feeling of sleeping at the identical time each night time, which means that your frame will discover ways to sleep in certain hours of the night time just because it wakes up in certain hours of the day.

Make time for tension There is also one last aspect that you need to remember, which is that for the day you're busy. Do not reflect on consideration on the matters that show up on your day because you're busy with new occasions. There isn't any time a good way to compare incredibly old occasions or consider them.

That is why while you visit mattress you think about the issues that took place with you during the day because you've got become busy.

To damage this dependency, set apart time for anxiety. (Time of day other than bedtime)

If you dedicate time to considering the things that reason you tension about the events for your day then you will reduce the opportunity that this tension will observe you to the bed.

Assuming tension got here to you in mattress and found your self-questioning.

At first, try to ignore it, do no longer reflect on consideration on it, if you can't record it. Record the thoughts you need to clear up and inform yourself that you may think of them while you wake up if you can't go away. Go to a second room and do any dull hobby to calm this intellectual activity.

Avoid doing intellectual calculations inside the midnight

You need to avoid playing the function of an accounting expert at night time. Do now not begin with the aid of counting the wide variety of hours that you may sleep and inform your self that if I sleep now I will sleep five hours or I will sleep four hours ...

When you constantly calculate how an awful lot of sleep is left for you, you'll sense more traumatic and the project of slumbering will become more difficult - as I informed you at the start of our communication - due to the fact you will place extra pressure on yourself.

Avoid those mathematical operations, and in trendy, get out of sight by the hours or something you could inform the time.

Challenge your tension about insomnia In the event of anxiety, allow us to talk approximately one closing essential remember.

Imagine two human beings each with a one-of-a-kind reaction to no longer sound asleep easily. They each woke up within the nighttime and attempted to sleep without an advantage.

The first man or woman between them changed into dismayed while he looked at the watch and said the time became 2:00 If I did not sleep inside 20 minutes I might lose my choice to sleep and it'd emerge as a massive problem for me. As for the opposite individual, he said to himself, for the reason that time has to turn out to be 2:00, I should examine an ebook or do the most essential component instead of my tries to sleep in useless. Who do you believe you studied could be able to sleep between them and be greater quiet?

Always take into account that your response to insomnia is extra harmful than insomnia itself.

When you study insomnia as a disaster, this could not assist you, it'll make you extra disillusioned and live conscious for longer.

In other phrases, it's going to make your sleep tough. Change your view of insomnia and dealing with it'll be lots simpler.

The manner you think about your sleep will affect the way you sense and the manner you experience will affect your capacity to sleep properly and even if you do no longer sleep after doing this you may additionally be a winner.

You might imagine that your horrific sleep makes the difference to the way you cope with the activities on the second day, but the truth is that your reaction to your lack of sleep is what makes the distinction.

If you stay calm at night, the result might also nonetheless be which you did not sleep sufficient, but you will experience snug and will not sense pressure or tension about what's going on to you.

You will experience extra cushty the next day than in case you spent the entire night in a long war with insomnia.

[friedhippie]

2-23-22

It’s palindrome week if you like that sort of thing. Saying two, twenty two, twenty two sounds like spitting to me. Too too too. 

Anywho

Yesterday I felt “normal”, positive, confident, talkative, but that always happens on Tuesdays. It’s the day I work with the two older employees who aren’t as efficient as the others. I’m not being mean here it’s just fact, they don’t rotate calls, aren’t that fast on the computer so it takes them a minute, whereas it takes me a second. I realized I miss being in the know and in control at work. Most of the hospitals I’ve worked at since moving to Michigan have been small practices, where as this place is a large hospital with many employees it’s easier for error to happen and harder to hold people accountable because there are too many hands in the pot. With so many things going on it’s also hard to be in the know and knowledge is power, especially when you have to answer the fucking phone. 

They are also going to give me my 90 day review today, not looking forward to that, it’s going to say “Emily is not friendly and is rude to coworkers and staff” At least that how it feels. It’s my trauma response to shut down/ignore, plus I can’t hide anything emotionally, you can read me like a book. 

My good mood yesterday had me questioning my decision to leave this company. I thought, “it’s not that bad” and then issue after issue presented itself to me because for some reason I’m the cleanup crew when it comes to issues with clients/meds etc etc. After like the 4th medication not being filled I laughed out loud and said “you want to stay here?” I have two job interviews lined up for tomorrow and my mind keeps spiraling with negative thoughts, the unknown, imaginary scenarios, and the ultimate question, will I be able to work there, will I be fulfilled? 

I have been on my own since I was 17, working stupid jobs to keep a roof over my head and food in my belly which is why I stayed in receptionist positions for so long, they pay a decent living wage, normally you get weekends/holidays off and BENEFITS. When I started reception in Veterinary Medicine the plan was to become a technician, reception was never the end goal but here I am rotting away, full of hostility, rage, irritation, burnout etc etc etc. The technician journey is something I’m not going to elaborate on now but these past 7 years in vet med have shown me a lot about myself and there’s nothing positive I will say about myself in regards to that path. 

When did the public lose phone etiquette? NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO ASK A FUCKING QUESTION ANYMORE. Here let me give you an example: “What kind of COVID protocols are in place for your hospital?” or “What should I do when I arrive at your hospital?” 99% of people will ask something along those lines but then just keep talking, “What should I do when I arrive at the hospital, am I supposed to call, should I just walk in, how will I talk to the doctor...” I can’t even begin to describe the amount of extra garbage people add to these questions. I think its due to cell phones and the narcissistic nature of social media and the instant gratification we have in our world now. Most of the time these fucking people won’t let me talk. ME! I’m the person who is going to educate you on everything if you would just shut the fuck up and listen. No one knows how to listen anymore. 

I remembered quite quickly yesterday why I want to leave Veterinary Medicine and it only took a few phone calls to get there. My patience is non existent and their diatribe is literally killing me inside. Putting aside all the drama and chaos of this hospital, its the clients I just want to run away from. I’m so tired of everything being literal life or death. They don’t plan, don’t listen to us, ramble on and on and on, and I’m so tired of hearing the description of diarrhea as being soft serve. I have burnout and compassion fatigue. It’s been living in me for sometime now but I'm finally accepting it. 

I guess you have to understand that when I started this journey I never planned on leaving Vet Med. I did an extensive amount of research beforehand and thought being a technician was the right choice for me and I’m very very good at my job but I don’t think I’m capable of working in a chaotic, emotional, dramatic field. Veterinarians have the highest rate of suicide and since I already suffer from depression/anxiety/self loathing I think it’s time for me to move on. It makes me feel like a failure. Especially because I’m so knowledgeable and efficient, seriously I’m the star pupil at any place I work at. Sometimes I yell at myself to not let all these factors affect me but it’s impossible for me. Being isolated during this pandemic has me looking inward more than ever now, there’s nothing to distract you from yourself, it’s just you, and I’m dealing with a lot of emotional baggage and trauma from my childhood, I’m understanding myself more than ever now. I reflect on all the jobs I’ve had since I was 17 and not ONE place ever had me crying in the bathroom constantly or being berated my staff. NOT ONE. I think back to my first two years at the ER/Specialty hospital in Cali and in the beginning it was all pansies and daisies but towards the end it was quite dark and difficult. 

[decimatoroflight]

Book of Darkness: Chapter 7

Decimator of Light: Book of Darkness Chapter Seven: Squadron Hall

             Cin sat, an unfamiliar numb sensation filling his lungs and then slowly trickling its way down to the rest of his body. He wasn’t entirely sure why, but the way the Sovereign had said that last part made him feel as though some dark, deeply-hidden secret about him was suddenly revealed, one he didn’t want anyone to know.

             “The...Decimator? Of...Light?” Cin managed to ask, pulling a hand to his stomach to try and stop the sick sensation from spreading.

             “That is what you have been called for generations now. There were many names before it – Savior of Darkness, Birther to Darkness, The Ultimate Creator – but this is the name that has most recently become most popular. That is the current name for the one said to have your Ability: the sorely-needed power to create that which fuels our realm, our people. The ability to create Darkness itself.”

             “Ability to...create darkness?” the teenager gave the man a look of utter disbelief.              Him, capable of creating darkness? Cin could do push ups, he could sort of run, he could draw pretty well -- but creating ‘darkness’ wasn’t something he had ever made before. Darkness was something that was simply always there. There was no way to create such a thing, and if the person who was supposed to be able to do something so amazing was only talked about in legends, Cin seriously doubted that he, of all people, could have been that person.

             “Listen,” Cin started, rather awkwardly and still very uncomfortable around the older man. “There’s no way that is me. I’m not some savior. I don’t have cool powers like the people who took me. I’m not a hero. Heck, I only finish my homework because my mom checks sometimes, and I’m too scared of her yelling at me not to do it. I’m not the type of person legends are written about. I’m sorry – I’m really sorry. I can tell you, like...really, really want me to be this Decimator. But I’m not. You have the wrong guy.”

             The Sovereign smiled, though it was a little strained and more than a little disappointed. “I am so very sorry, my boy, but I am afraid that is not possible. We have searched for you for generations, utilizing every mothing we have at our disposal. There is no mistake, there is no ‘wrong guy’, I am afraid. It is you, Vincint. You are the Decimator, and this is a fact.”

             Cin felt as though the man had just read him his death sentence. “It’s not any fact,” his chest felt tight, but he forced himself to keep speaking. “Make darkness? I’ve never done anything like that. If I was this guy, wouldn’t I have, you know, done that a few times? Maybe when I was in danger or something? Or just for fun at some point?”

             The man nodded gravely. “This actually does not surprise me entirely. I expected this, if it turned out that you knew nothing of where you came from...But do not worry about your capabilities, my boy. You have been away in the Gray World for so long, so very long, it is obvious that your Ability had no chance to be properly discovered, much less used. You never had a chance to train yourself as the beings of Darkness are meant to. All you need is time here, in the Darkness, and I am sure you will find that you are capable of more than you ever imagined.”

             A jolt suddenly ran through Cin’s heart. Time. Here?

             It had been obvious throughout the conversation, and especially considering they’d kidnapped him, but it hadn’t exactly occurred to him that he would be expected to stay. The possibility of not seeing his mother, his father, his brother, or his two friends have him feel ready to panic. What would they think while he was gone? If he was really, somehow, in another dimension, would they think he was lost? That he ran away? Or was even dead? His parents would never forgive themselves, not being there when he’d disappeared. His friends could never move on, when he’d just disappeared from under their noses. He couldn’t simply leave them all without some sort of message.

             “I can’t!” Cin said without thinking, jumping from his seat. He chest felt so tight he couldn’t catch his breath. “I can’t stay here, my family and friends, they-!”

             “Oh, sweet boy, no, please do not worry!” the older man chuckled, seemingly entertained. “We have arraigned for everything to be fine on the Gray World – your disappearance has been taken fully taken care of. You have nothing to worry about while you stay here.”

             “What?” The wave of panic paused for a moment. “Taken care of? But, how did you-?”

             “Worry not,” The Sovereign lifted a hand to stop Cin once again. “We are capable of many things, as you saw. The Abilities we possess allow us to interact with the Gray World on levels you likely have never realized. Something as simple as a disappearance holds no issues for us. Everything shall be taken care of, their lives will not be drastically changed by your disappearance. All shall be well.”

             Something about the way the man spoke didn’t sit well with Cin. He didn’t entirely believe the man, though he didn’t sense that he was lying, either. But he also realized something with more certainty: this man wasn’t going to let him leave. And he had a horrible feeling that he could either play around and try and find a way home quietly on the sidelines, or he could try and take this man head-on. Cin didn’t like his odds, one-on-one.

             “As long as they’re okay,” he said quietly on the matter, sitting back down and trying his best to ignore the screaming voice in his head, telling him he’d be breathing his mother’s heart. He had to focus on right now.

             “You have my word they shall be fine,” the Sovereign nodded his head, before suddenly standing from his own seat. “Now, as it stands – it appears I am not doing a wonderful job convincing you of your capabilities. I believe I understand the issue; having lives in the Gray World, everything here must seem utterly strange, and my words will likely offer little solace without direct evidence. Does that seem to describe the current situation?”

             Cin was taken aback that the Sovereign seemed to actually understand him a little. “I mean -- yeah. You’re saying a lot of stuff. You’re telling me I’m someone I’m really, really sure I’m not. Unless I start throwing darkness around, I don’t think I’m really going to be convinced of anything. I’m sorry,” he added the last part quietly. Just that little bit of understanding from the man had helped ease Cin much more than he’d ever expected.              “Of course not, my boy. Words without evidence are merely fairy tales until proven otherwise,” the man nodded sagely at the words. “Alas, I am afraid I may not be the best person to guide you, after all. I focus so much on my realm here, that my overall knowledge of the Gray World is likely hardly better than your knowledge of the Darkness. If you are to see and experience our world, you will need better guides than I, individuals who understand the Gray World well and will be able to help you bridge the gap between your two homes. I think it would be best if you were around people your age, people you might be able to relate to, do you not agree?” The Sovereign smiled gently at the boy, though again, the smile never reached his black eyes. “How does the Zero Squadron sound? They are roughly twenty, and very good, respectable beings. And I assure you that you will be perfectly safe around them.”

“Wh-what?” Cin was more than a little taken aback. He was all for the idea until the last part. Taken away from his home only to then go spend time with his own kidnappers, who were now, in an instant, supposed to be considered his bodyguards? “The Zero Squadron? The people who took me? Attacked me? Are you serious?”

             “Yes, they are celebrating that successful Extraction at this very moment. Talented individuals, are they not?” the man smiled. “Please, do not worry yourself. Being around the Decimator of Light is as honor for any being of Darkness. They will openly welcome you, even if they may be fatigued at the moment. They are some of the foremost experts on the Gray World in our realm. If any group of individuals will be able to help you make sense of the current situation, I am sure it will be them.” As he spoke, the man only seemed to be half paying attention, his eyes glazed over as though he was focusing on something else in the back of his mind. It annoyed Cin greatly.

Cin opened his mouth to argue again but hastily closed it. Talking to this man was like talking to someone who knew a foreign language perfectly while Cin barely knew a few cheesy phrases. He could ask this guy questions all day, and he was sure he’d just end up more and more confused. The Squadron people – at the very least, they had been to Cin’s world. They had waited there for him, they knew how stuff worked well enough to break into a house. At least, maybe, he’d be able to understand them better. Not to mention, Cin didn’t like this man at all. The way he said some words with hunger, the way he eyed Cin with sick desire, the way he kept smiling in that creepy way...Cin would have rather risked sitting with his kidnappers for a day than staying another minute with this Sovereign.

             “Okay,” he finally said, one hand gripping his chair so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, “If it doesn’t bother them, I guess.”

             “A wise choice,” the Sovereign nodded in approval and stood, placing a hand upon the boy’s shoulder. “Now, I imagine that this will feel rather foreign to you, my boy, so please, do not get too worried.”

             Before Cin could protest to being touched, he felt one of the strangest sensations of his life. It lasted for nothing more than a second, while simultaneously feeling like an eternity. He felt excruciating pain, the feeling of his body being torn apart. He could feel every joint pop, muscle tear, vein and artery sever all at the same time, and then, for a moment, lost all sense of himself, of everything around him. He was gone. It was all over. There was no more him, nothing at all. And strangely, almost frighteningly – he felt eternal, never-ending peace. True tranquility.

             But just as suddenly as that all happened, out of nowhere, that sensation disappeared, and he was suddenly back together, standing in front of a large building like he’d been standing there all day.

             Cin doubled over, so many emotions washing over him at once. Having that sort of tranquility, the losing it, while also having been okay with just not existing for a moment...That was way, way too much all at once. Too many feelings he’d never felt or been prepared to feel that made him wonder what was wrong with him. But thankfully, the feelings he’d experienced in that split second started to pass just as quickly as they had appeared, so although he was heavily disturbed, soon, he couldn’t recall that exact feeling anymore, and instead, it was only a strange thought he’d had rather than a proper memory. Cin took a few very deep breaths, slowly straightening up again, giving his head a light shake, as though hoping to physically shake the feelings off of himself. He was able to focus on where he’d suddenly appeared, instead, and when he looked up, his jaw dropped.

             The building had heart-stopping, gorgeous detail all down it, both painted and carved on, intricate paintings and obscure shapes. The design of the building itself was like a staircase shell, but it was standing up, with each bulge being a different floor, with eight levels in total. The protrusions running along the walls had all sorts of amazing designs of all sorts of shapes and patterns carves into them, almost like it was telling some sort of story as the shapes progressed up the sides, each one original, and yet working with the ones around it to still be aesthetically pleasing. The walls themselves were painted and caved with all sorts of scenes, Squadron members in all sorts of different styles doing all different sorts of feats. Many members weren’t faces Cin had seen in the Sovereign’s room, so he guessed they were from retired teams. At the very top was an amazing orb that looked almost exactly like what Cin imagined earth must have looked like from space. Emanating from the walls were all sorts of music, each piece more beautiful than the last. All the songs seemed to go with the theme of the image closest to them, and yet, somehow, none of the notes clashed, and instead, turned into a different orchestra, depending on what angle they were heard from.

             But most shockingly, when Cin turned around, he realized that very last building on the street was just as beautiful, intricate, almost magical as this one. He could merely stare in awe, unable to focus on only one building when he realized that every single one was as amazing as the Sistine Chapel. For the first time, something good had taken his breath away in this realm.

             “I know,” the Sovereign signed besides Cin, suddenly reminding the teenager that the older man was still standing there. “No matter how many times I see this, it brings me true peace and joy. I cannot imagine what it must be like, viewing it for the first time,” he smiled down at Cin, and for the first time, it actually seemed genuine. But it only lasted for a second, before the man added, “Now, please, go ahead and enter. Captain Veder knows is aware you are here and is waiting.”

             “What?” Cin was once again utterly confused and felt like he missed something. How could the captain have known? The Sovereign supposedly just decided a few moments ago that he would be coming to see them. But before Cin could question what was going on, the Sovereign was simply gone, and he was left alone in the middle of the street in front of the amazing building.

             The moment the man was gone, Cin felt like a weight had lifted from his chest. For a split second, he realized he was alone. He was free – he could run. Then a second voice, just as quickly, reminded him he had utterly no idea where to run to. These buildings were completely unfamiliar, and something in general felt very off about this place, despite its beauty, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Something made him feel more lost than he expected to feel.              Cin realized after a moment he was clinging to the front of his shirt, and after a second, he realized it was because he was looking for some comfort. He was still dressed in his baggy shirt and shorts, the clothes he had been kidnapped in and allowed to put back on again after that girl had undid his wounds. And now, these clothes were all he had left of his home, all that connected him with his normal life.

             Cin’s hand tensed, gripping the shirt tightly when it began shaking as fear and anger started to bubble up within him. These people were trying to tear his entire life from him and thrust some new identity onto him. He was supposed to no longer be Vincint Luna, but instead, act like he was the so-called ‘Decimator of Light’. He was supposed to just leave behind those who cared and accepted him so that he could help the people who were trying to steal his life away from him. It was disgusting. There was no way he could help such people. He had to find a way out of it, figure out where he was, how to get out, and run.

             ‘Decimator?’

             Cin jumped, whirling around, searching for the source of the voice. He vaguely recognized it as the captain’s from the Zero Squadron, but for some reason, Cin couldn’t see him. He looked to the sky, but the bald man wasn’t there, either.

             ‘Decimator? Are you outside of the building?’

             This time Cin noticed a difference. What he was hearing wasn’t a real sound. It didn’t have a small echo, it didn’t sound louder in one ear than another, it wasn’t overshadowed by the sound of the music inside. It came from inside of his own head, like a thought.

             “What the hell...!?” Cin clutched his head, instantly assuming he’d gone insane. It would have made everything else that day make a lot more sense than it had.

             But a second later, Captain Veder floated out of the window from the very top level of the building, only to see the Decimator swinging his head around violently, hands on his temples, as though trying to force part of his brain out through his ear.

             “Er, Decimator...?” Captain Veder landed on the ground besides the teenager and attempted to put his hand on this shoulder. Cin jerked violently at the sudden touch and whirled around, ready to defend himself, but stopped when he saw who it was. Cin relaxed a little, though still looked thoroughly confused.

             “I...I heard...in my head...” Cin tried explaining, but he was out of breath due to panic and head-swinging.

             “Hm?” Veder lifted an eyebrow in confusion for a moment, and after a second, seemed to realize what had happened. He suddenly bowed deeply in apology, arms on either side and forehead past his waist. “Forgive me, Decimator! I did not think it through -- of course you would not be used to Distance Speech!”

             “What...?” Cin squeaked out. He was quickly growing to dread all these weird terms.

             “Er...” Veder looked around awkwardly, as though trying to find the right wording to explain something new to a child. “I believe the word ‘telepathy’ is used on the Gray World to explain a similar ability...It is the closest term I can think of. I apologize, we are not used to having to explain Darkness terminology to someone from the Gray World, it is usually the other way around-”

             “Telepathy? Now you’re psychic, too?” Cin asked weakly.

             “Oh, er, well, it is...not an Ability, if that if what you mean, sir. Distance Speech can be used by anyone in the Darkness, though the capability seems to disappear in the Gray World. We have theories as to why, but we assume a major factor is the lack of the extra dimension-”

             “It’s okay,” Cin cut him off before he could try explaining further. “Whatever you’re going to explain’s probably way over my head.” He was too tired to pay proper attention, anyway. To his surprise, Veder seemed to blush with embarrassment. Cin didn’t know why, and felt it best if he didn’t pry about it. “Anyway, sorry for being dumped onto you and everything, the Sovereign-guy thinks it’s best if I hang around you guys or something. But, I mean, if you show me to a hotel or something, I can stay alone for a while-”

             “N-No!” Veder cried, causing Cin to jump slightly. The captain looked even more embarrassed and once again bowed in apology. “Er, f-forgive my outburst, but everyone inside is truly looking forward to meeting you! Frio and Pila are excited, and everyone has so many questions for you. We have been searching for the Decimator for so long, and we had to hand you over without any chance to ask a single question. But...but I understand if you wish to rest instead,” he added the last part forcefully, seemingly remembering that duty came first.

             “People want to...see me?” This was a foreign idea to Cin. No one had ever wanted to meet him as though he was a celebrity, and he wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted to see what it felt like. Not to mention, he wasn’t looking forward to meeting more ‘beings of Darkness’. And yet, after hearing how much Veder was looking forward to this, he couldn’t bring himself to let the man down. Veder just looked so incredibly nervous that it felt cruel to do something to make it worse, even though Cin realized how insane it was for him to care at all about what that man must have been feeling. “Um. Well, I guess I can go, then. Yeah.”

             Veder smiled brightly, though it looked rather out of place on him. “Thank you, sir!” He bowed one final time, before turning and moving his arms in an ushering motion. “Please, follow me!”

             Cin frowned at the use of ‘sir’, but trailed after the captain, a new type of dread filled his stomach. As much as he didn’t want to pretend to be this Decimator, it was clear that it was what everyone wanted him to be. What people were expecting, what they were dreaming about. And all that was now on Cin’s shoulders, all those expectations and hopes. People had never expected much of him; they had always known he was generally more on the lazy side. But the way everyone here was tripping over themselves in front of him, it was as though he was setting himself up to disappoint an entire universe.

             His fears faded momentarily when he actually entered the building. If the outside was impressive, the inside of the building was nothing short of breath-taking. The walls had giant, life-sized paintings of all the Squadron members, and all around them were beautiful shapes and designs that reminded Cin of the classical elements of nature. The walls seemed to glow and almost vibrate from the brightness and vibrancy of the colors in the paint. After they left the corridors, Cin was led into a wide, dome-shaped room that must have been the size of a football field. Cin had utterly no idea how the room fit into the building – there was no way the outside was nearly big enough for all those corridors and this giant room. The room was filled with people are laughing, eating, drinking, and dancing to the hypnotic music that seemed to be coming from the walls themselves. There was nothing on the walls; instead, the room showed its beauty through its furniture. The chairs and tables all around the room were bend into some of the most intricate metallic designs Cin had ever seen, every piece of furniture fashioned after some exotic animal that likely only lived deep, deep under water. In the very center, there was what seemed to be a bar table made completely out of water with live fish floating around in it and barstools that looked to have been naturally formed from some sort of coral. Above the table was a giant hole, where not only music was pounding from and seemingly reverberating directly through the walls, but also odd, bright-violet bubbles that floated around the room like small balloons, unable to pop when jostled by someone. The people were all different: Red hair, blond hair, black hair, dark skin, light skin, tall, short, fat, thin -- all different, all getting along, all sharing only their dark, pitch-black eyes.

               Cin was so enamored by the room that it took him a while to notice that, as he and Veder entered, everyone had stopped moving and were now staring at him with looks of complete and utter shock. The music turned down, quieter and quieter, until the only sounds left were the hollow bumps of the strange bubbles bouncing against things.

             Cin swallowed nervously, feeling his face burn as he hunched his shoulders like he hoped he could hide his head like a turtle and tried to hide behind Veder. He wasn’t used to having so many eyes on him and hoped that the pleading look he gave Veder made that obvious. To Cin’s great relief, the captain seemed to understand, and quickly led the teenager to the far left corner of the bar where a set of metallic doors waited. It had a giant zero carved into it with a beautiful design with floral and mechanical accents that Cin would have liked to have admired more in another situation. The two entered, and Cin sighed with relief as the door closed behind him, shutting away that incredibly awkward and tense silence. He easily preferred the four semi-familiar faces in this room over the strangers outside.

             The room reminded Cin of a college dorm. There was a low, drink-laden table with eight floor-cushions around it and a strange, black cube floating above it, rotating in the air. All the Squadron members were sitting on cushions around this table with drinks in their hands and had frozen the moment the doors had opened. One wall was covered by at least twenty perfectly oval mirrors and the wall opposite of it was covered in what seemed to be fan art, poems, fan letters, and other miscellaneous gifts. On the wall opposite of the one they had entered from were three other metal doors with the faces of the Squadron members carved into them: Pila, the small woman, and Frio, the tall woman with the killer finger-pointing, on one, Sterk, the huge guy with all the scars, and Veder on another, and Tishina, the small one who Cin would still swear had looked him right in the eyes back on earth, was alone on the last.

             Cin swallowed, noticing the looks these Squadron members were giving him. They were hardly better than the people outside, but at least there were fewer of them. Frio was staring up at him expectantly, tense and unsure, looking just about ready to burst. Pila had the same expression as Frio, but she was also gripping a glass so tightly it looked ready to shatter. Sterk looked worried more than anything else, and continued to move his large hands onto his lap, to his side, on his knee, and then repeated the pattern over and over, like he had suddenly forgotten how hands were supposed to work. Tishina, though, continued to smile and only nodded in acknowledgement of Cin and his captain, and then continued sipping his drink and staring blankly at the cube floating above their table.

             “Er,” Cin eloquently began, trying to block all the whispers that suddenly began behind the door they had entered through. “S-sorry. About just bursting in like this and everything. I didn’t mean to be a bother or anything, but-”

             “You are no bother!!” Pila and Frio cried at the same time, both standing up to their knees and then struggling to stand up entirely from their sitting position. Both blushed furiously after doing so and quickly fell back into their seats when they realized how strange they had looked.

             Veder cleared his throat, clearly a bit embarrassed by that outburst. “Now, Zero Squadron, it is our job to keep the Decimator safe and welcome him into the world he originated from. As some of the foremost experts on the Gray World, we should be able to help explain things most clearly. We must do our best to explain everything and help him ease into life here.”

             “Mm,” Sterk nodded in agreement and moved over one cushion, motioning for Cin to sit down. Cin flinched unconsciously, clearly a little hesitant to sitting beside the one who had almost tackled him outside of Kazuko’s office. This instantly made Sterk’s eyes fill with guilt and shame, looking like some sort of kicked puppy (a very, very large puppy), and Cin forced himself to sit down with a small, nervous smile.

             Then there was nothing but awkward silence.

             Even as Veder sat down, no one seemed to have the courage to begin any conversation, both sides having so many questions, but neither side wanting to risk actually speaking and accidentally sounding rude. Cin was afraid of becoming more confused than he already was, and the Squadron was obviously afraid that he held his kidnapping against them (which wasn’t entirely untrue). The Squadron members looked to one another, trying to urge the others to say something, anything, and thankfully, the only one in the room that seemed unaffected by Cin’s arrival spoke up.

             “So, everyone on the Gray World calls you Cin, right?”

             Veder gave Tishina a deeply appreciative look. The ice was broken, and Cin was glad to have a chance to say something without sounding like a complete idiot.

             “Er, yeah. I’m Vincint Luna, but my friends gave me that nickname when we were younger, since there was another Vincent in the class, and neither of us really liked “Vince”. You guys can call me that, too, if you want.”

             The Squadron members all looked to one another again, clearly aghast at the idea of using something that sounded so informal with someone like Cin.

             “Um...C-Cin...” Pila began, the first to use his name, and sounding a bit unsure of herself. “I, well...I...I want to apologize! It was my idea to use the chemicals, and I’m sure that really, really unpleasant, I-I just felt like there wasn’t any other way-!”

             “Um, it’s okay,” Cin was a little taken aback to the reaction but wasn’t really used to girls sounding almost near tears. “Way better than, y’know, being bloodied up too badly. Passing out wasn’t all that bad if I could’ve been more messed up, instead,” Cin laughed awkwardly at his own comment, and Pila smiled in great relief, but Frio and Sterk both averted their gazes in shame. Cin almost felt their reaction without even looking properly at them, and quickly continued. “Not that I really blame you guys,” he half-lied. “I was pretty shocked about it, but I know it wasn’t your fault if you were ordered by that Sovereign guy. You guys adapted really adapted well when I ran and stuff, too. It seems like you guys are a good team, at least.”

             “It w-was Captain Veder’s plan,” Frio said softly, looking away from the captain as she spoke. “He always tr-tries to work through as many possibilities as p-possible beforehand. We unfortunately had n-n-no warning beforehand, or else we c-could have been more prepared and had c-caused less problems for you.”

             “You flatter me,” Veder chuckled a bit. “You and Pila planned the way to subdue him yourselves and managed to avoid most of the unnecessary violence. Which I think all of us are thankful for,” he added, looking to Cin, albeit with a lot less confidence.

             “Maybe. But I still broke the laws,” Pila said with a small, nervous huff. “Hopefully, the Sovereign’ll overlook it since it was so important and last minute, but I don’t know. He’s usually really against disturbing anything in the Gray World, no matter the circumstances...Oh, I’m Pila by the way!” She waved from across the table, going from depressed to cheery in an instant.

             “Ah, I completely forgot!” Veder cried, bowing deeply to Cin in both apology and introduction. “I am Veder, Captain of the Zero Squadron. The woman over there is Frio, second in command. The one beside you is Sterk. The one rudely watching the Versabic instead of paying attention to the conversation is Tishina.”

             Each one nodded politely as their name was mentioned, though Tishina merely raised a hand without so much as looking at Cin. His eyes were locked onto the cube floating in the center of them all.

             “What...is that thing, exactly?” Cin quietly asked, deciding to risk testing to see if they would actually answer his questions. If they were going to be better than the Sovereign, maybe it was worth not trying to run away instantly.

             “It’s like a camera,” Sterk responded with his low rumble, albeit a little timidly. “It can show any part of the Darkness that the watcher wants to see. Tishina’s a little obsessed with watching the higher-numbered Squadrons. He says he does it ‘cause he’s worried about them, but we all think he just wants the attention of a certain someone.”

             “We don’t know which certain someone, though,” Pila pouted slightly, crossing her arms over her chest with a huff. “He won’t tell us! We think it might be the leader of the Three Squadron, though.”

             “Maybe we sh-should not be talking about this in f-front of the Decimator...?” Frio requested weakly, though she smiled slightly as she said it. Though Cin had just been starting to enjoy the little back and forth, he shuddered.

             “Can you...Please not call me that? Cin’s just fine,” he said, looking to the side with his shoulders hunching up to his ears in discomfort.

             The Squadron looked taken aback. They looked to one another, as though arguing with each other through their expressions, and in the end, Frio was the one who finally decided to ask, “Not to be r-rude, but, uh, m-may we ask why not...? W-we apologize if it is a bothersome qu-question, but everyone here dr-dreams of turning out to be the Decimator.”

             “Maybe you guys do,” Cin said through gritted teeth, starting to be annoyed hearing that again. “But I have no idea what ‘the Decimator’ is. At all. I don’t know what you guys expect of me, or why you want me to use some kind of weird power to create darkness I’m supposedly supposed to have, or why you think I’d even have that power to begin with. The Sovereign just said I’m supposed to be able to make darkness, and I don’t know how to do that. Honestly...I think that he, and you guys, got the wrong guy. So I don’t want to be called that, since I’m probably not it.”

             The Squadron exchanged glances, first utterly shocked, and then, worried. No one knew how to begin explaining and instinctively, their eyes all drifted towards Veder. The captain nodded and after taking a deep breath, gently touched Cin’s shoulder, his expression filled with pity.

             “I apologize for our assumptions. But there is a reason we are so confident, and why we are so excited by this development. It is...A very long story, however. But if you so wish, we shall try and explain everything to you, everything that you -- er, that is, the Decimator -- is said to do from all our legends, what is to happen with their arrival. But explaining why we need you now, more than ever...that will be considerably more difficult. It is something you must personally see and unfortunately experience to fully understand.”

             Cin looked at Veder, more than a little surprised by how earnestly he spoke. He actually believed the man wanted him to understand, and actually believe that maybe he’d be honest about it all. If that was the case – Cin was dying to understand.

             “Yeah. Tell me all you can now. I’ll see what I have to see when the times comes, right?” He added the last part without any real confidence. He definitely wanted to be gone long before he ever had to see anything.

             Veder smiled, a smile filled with both admiration and sadness, and pulled his hand back, looking to his teammates for support before beginning the story.

[rennyji]

June 30th and 29th tweets...

June 30th and 29th tweets...

June 30th tweets…

on my way home after lunch hour, &close 2 my neighborhood, a ripped tan white guy without a shirt &kiwi green shorts gestures “if I want 2 fight him from the side of the road” & walks toward the road. now I don’t know him, have been living here for yrs, minding my own-so random.-

- once again I would have to suspect the orchestrators are passing something off as me, relaying something they’re not supposed to, or filtering my writing. When people get on ur case out of the blue, does that bacon fueled animal think in any shape or form he’s part of my life?-

- I guess that’s why so many of my friends are south or East Asian- like Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Korean…and then there are the Greeks or the Mediterranean variety of people…I feel these groups are less aggressive and randomly looking for a fight…

Now I come home, gotta deal with the village personality of my Indian father & the overly Christian nature from Biblical times of my “pretending everything’s okay with life” parents. Seeing them for 30 years made me want 2 leave my the background they hail from, their religion.-

- I contemplate marrying out for mixed race children…but now America has teamed up against me as one team leaving me with no one. Just the crazy random people on the street.

- one ray of sunlight is the Chinese woman who held my hand in passing, or the tall blonde with the dog crossing the street in Bronxville, from in front of my car, who went out of her way to wave at me twice…-

- amidst the “situation”, the stupidity in my home till I can afford an apartment, the crazies gesturing me if I want to fight, the people at work with misconceptions…it just never ends…Thank God for my morning coffee or when I go for a massage…

Yeah, for one reason or another, just putting this out there, real men get men’s pedicures and manicures. Who wants flaky skin on their fingers or rough feet?! Got the idea from Will Smiths character on one of the episodes in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air…

i like christina aguilera, in terms of looks, when she first started out...now she's too...too...tough looking...

msn dot com has a lot of interesting stories that catch my eye, in my old, obese age...stories like whats trending and about pop culture...

Have you ever been around someone who randomly and alone, develops the habit or ability of chewing out loud...I think I’ve heard those three words together out loud before: “chew out loud.” I think it’s a thing.-

- I mean, to make every sound behind eating audible is just a ridiculous habit. What is the benefit for those who eat like that?! I eat without making a sound and I’m still able to enjoy the taste of my food. -

-Is it just an old habit that kept repeating with no real origin or reason? I saw a friend from long ago on Facebook yesterday with his beautiful wife and child,living as lawyers, and a “classy life”, a “life of standard”, at that. -

-People who chew/ or eat out loud for that matter have got to be because their parents didn’t give them an a*s wh*pping and spoiled them for being the baby in the family.-

-Mother probably did everything and now that child has that expectation of others in his/her life. I’ll bet these same people, while innately smart, just sit around, while their spouses, siblings, or roommates have 10x the activity in the same time frame of their day.-

- I’ll bet their perception of life is on the unconventional side too, siding on ideal scenarios and not a life of meaning, probably more along the lines of how people of your world see you. I mean things like that, it affects who you associate with or go out in public with. -

-It’s not about freedom. Whatever the age, practice decency...don’t be an animal...that’s just my thought on eating out loud...probably the only way to get it through to some, in the spirit of patience, not practiced in actual conversation..-

-I mean literally, every sound from sipping the drink into the mouth-if it’s drinking- to expressing satisfaction upon swallowing, to burping when digested...geez...learn from the point, rather than seeing it as some cultural insult from another world, -

-or seeing it as humorous that someone you know is talking about you...it’s disgusting and there comes a time to snap out of it...-

-when those of ur world put you through actual tormenting procedures over the course of eleven years, excuse you for bringing up a real concern/issue over what actually is stubbornness or lack of ability to comprehend.

but moving on...just bumping into random behaviors all day from random people...

doctors...i think theyre among the people you say/hear are out to get your money. Not accepting insurance, charging $350 per visit is one thing. But then simply to discuss an email or one phone call's worth of change and charging $350 for that...geez...-

-then theres the not-understanding-what-ur-going-thru &ur mental energy taken 2enforce a decision..the 1st $350 proved worthless, as that doctorProbablyDid more harm than good, &now an additional $350 4 a minor detail?! Hippocratic Oath my a*s. Even doctors lie 2me despite oaths.

the world is an ugly place, save for a few people...like that innocent pale blond riding her bike who apologizes for running into you with her bike, a couple of weeks ago...rest of the world is filled with attitude and things they see you through and simply foolishness...

On Amazon, they sell the " Nitrofit Pro Limber Stretch Machine " or U can search stretch machine, but it looks like Nitrofit brand's version. It costs $500. I wish morePeople would buy this stuff, so prices would go down. its an E-Z way 2 do essential stretching 4 tired muscles.-

- I mean you just have to get on top of it, in the prescribed positions, rather than using one of those straps...but then at the same time, if you go to a massage place for someone to stretch your muscles for you, it's $80 at discount pricing-and how often can you spend $80?-

- a one time investment of $500 could allow you to get the $80 benefit daily at your own comfort.

so they say vibrating foam rollers are good 4 tender muscles.has any1 noticed that some versionsVibrate more against urHands or theFloor, then the targeted area of ur chest or leg muscles? so how is it helping if most of the vibration goes 2the floor? or is it just 1 or 2 brands?

When I make it big, on really warm days, whether Im on that floor of my house or not, Im going  2turn on the central AC 4 all floors inTheHouse? Why? I find it annoying &disgusting, when I have 2 make that trip 2 the floor where the AC isn't on, & Im smacked w/a burst of heat.

So I'm experiencing that moment when one realizes he/she has everything on their bedroom L-Desk, with the exception of a pen and some paper to write on...but mostly a pen...how did that happen?!

June 29th tweets...

Came home after being in the heat, was thirsty. Had a cup of raspberry soda water from my soda stream. It felt so right for the opportunity…felt good going down my throat…

While out and about, kept seeing smoking hot Hispanic women…these women all, whether it’s good genes or makeup I dunno, have flawless, non oily, glistening skin…is the source some product from your native places and/or good genes? Share the knowledge…

Heard a song I downloaded long ago, on my car’s cd playlist…YouTube “Gained the World” by Morcheeba (I think that’s how it’s spelled…) - I heard it when channel 11 was WB11 and not The CW…anyone else remember that?!

“Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson…heard it for the first time in “Free Willy” and kept on listening to it…beautiful song…

Tired of plugging in ur iPhone or whatever else phone?! You can just put it on a stand to charge wirelessly. Works even with the case. On Amazon, search “ Anker 3 in 1 Multi Device Charging Station “.

U know whats also a good product 2 relieve fatigue in place of caffeine? A hand massager. LifePro has a version with some good intensity, but I prefer the highTech looking Chinese made ones. Just sharing the knowledge. Finding something good takes buying them all & trying em out.

Has anyone else tried Shawarma? Heard it for the first time in Iron Man from the Tony Stark character. It came off to me as a healthy version of the Indian “ biryani “ dish, minus the spices and butter. Now I can cross that off my list of things to try…

U know whats good? - Arabic food… “kibbeh” (an appetizer) comes off 2 me as something 2 remind me of Indian kababs w/an edibleCovering around the powderedMeat. Then theres the dessert, “Kunafa”-like sugary lasagna minus the tomatoSauce &cheese but w/something like cream inside.