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birdiewriteslit · 1 year ago

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“on the down low”

harry james potter x f!weasley!reader

no voldemort au

summary: you and harry have been hiding your relationship from your family for four months, but when he stays over for the holidays, they start to uncover the truth, one by one.

warnings: idk how long this is but it feels long, kissing, fluff, CHRISTMAS

me pretending voldemort doesn’t exist again for the sake of plot convenience and my own happiness

Godric, you hadn’t realized how hard it would be to pretend over the holiday. At first, it seemed like a dream come true. Harry staying at the burrow for Christmas meant you’d be able see him whenever you wanted, but you couldn’t exactly do what you wanted.

During the day, you and Harry had to act indifferent to each other, like you hadn’t been together since the end of the summer.

It was different than it was at Hogwarts, where nobody suspected a seventh year to go for her brother’s best friend, who was a year younger. That excluded Hermione, of course, who was just too damn smart to not figure you out.

You hadn’t realized how easy it was to sneak around in a giant castle with a multitude of empty classrooms and an invisibility cloak at your disposal compared to your house of nine other people where the walls were thin and the furniture was old, regardless of proximity between you.

You kicked Harry’s foot under the dinner table. He looked up from his plate and stared at you, bewildered. You nodded to your mother who had just asked him a question he clearly hadn’t heard.

She looked at him expectantly, waiting for his response. “Sorry?” He took his gaze away from you and onto Molly.

“Harry, I asked you if you’ve gotten yourself a girlfriend this year?” she clarified.

Harry spluttered, glancing at you quickly before looking back at her. He cleared his throat. “No, I haven’t.”

Your mother tutted. “A shame, really. Let’s hope you don’t end up like Charlie. Such a handsome boy, and yet, he can’t find a nice woman to settle down with,” she sighed and turned her attention to your older brother, who was rolling his eyes.

Harry looked relieved that he was no longer the one being questioned. “Mum, stop it. I’m only 22. I’m too young to settle down. Bill’s older and he’s not married.”

Bill stopped mid bite to gesture violently at Charlie to cut it out, but Molly paid him no mind.

“Spend your whole life with dragons, see if I care,” she responded vehemently. “Let’s hope your sister doesn’t go off with you to Romania when she graduates.”

Now it was your turn to roll your eyes as you became your mother’s new subject of torture. It was true, you were looking into a career with dragons, but it was unlikely you’d end up on the same reserve as your brother.

“You know, darling, you ought to find a nice boy. It would do you well.”

You grimaced. “And here we are, back to your favorite topic.”

“Not mine,” Fred interjected.

“Certainly not,” George added. “She’s not allowed to date.”

“Oh, she’s not, is she?” Ginny said, giving you a seemingly knowing look. Merlin, you could only hope she knew nothing.

“No, and neither are you, Gin,” Fred said swiftly.

“We’ll that’s unfortunate,” Ginny looked at you smugly. “Because I think our sister has had her eye on someone.”

Harry turned paler than normal, looking at you in alarm, his face saying, ‘Did you tell her?’ Hermione, to his side, gave you a similar look.

Your face heated under the eyes of your entire family. You shot Ginny a glare before deciding to get her back. “That’s what you think, but I know you bloody well fancy Dean Thomas.”

The focus shifted from you to Ginny. “Dean Thomas?” said Ron, staring at your sister in astonishment.

“Who’s Dean Thomas?” your mother asked cheekily.

Ginny groaned, hiding her red face in her hands. “I’m excusing myself. Goodnight, family.”

She stood up from the crowded table and basically threw her plate into the sink before running upstairs.

“Seriously, who’s Dean Thomas?” your mum asked for the second time.

“A boy in Ron’s year,” you explained briefly. “He’s perfectly decent,” you elaborated further, once you realized your family’s eyes were unrelenting.

“Well, who does she think you fancy?” Bill said, grinning. Why did the first thing he contributed during this conversation have to target you? Why couldn’t it have been revenge on Charlie?

“How should I know? I haven’t told her anything that would make her think I was interested in anyone.” That was a lie. You did tell her something.

“Are you?” Bill followed up.

“That’s really none of your business,” you said, standing up from the table and clearing your plate.

“As long as it’s not someone in our year, that’s what I say.” Ron nudged Harry, looking at his friend who nodded weakly.

You began to walk up the stairs, but not before shooting Harry a look that pleaded him to come upstairs when he could get away. Because of your circumstances, you’d gotten very good at giving each other wordless glances like these.

A little while later, a pajama clad Harry entered your room, checking the hall for anyone before closing the door behind him.

“Ron thinks I’m in the bathroom. Did you tell Ginny about us?” he said hurriedly.

“Of course not,” you denied. “I may have given her a hint though.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “What?”

“I didn’t mean to! She was talking about Dean, and asked me if I liked anybody, and who am I to lie, so I said yes.”

“Um,” Harry interjected. “One problem with that is that we lie about our relationship every day. You are a liar.”

“Don’t interrupt me, Harry. Anyway, she asked me who and I wouldn’t tell her, so she started listing names. She asked me what I thought of you, and I let it slip that I thought you were cute,” you said sheepishly, toying with a button on his shirt. “I think I scared her off with the Dean thing, we should be in the clear.”

Harry only grinned. “You think I’m cute?”

“Oh shut up, would you?” you said, pushing his chest away from yours.

“Sure.” He pulled you back by the waist, his hands resting on your hips as he ducked down to kiss you. He tasted like toothpaste, but you really didn’t mind it.

He was about to pull away after a moment, but you tangled your fingers in his hair, keeping his mouth attached to yours.

“I’ve missed you all day,” Harry murmured against your lips.

“Godric, me too.” You clung onto him like you knew it wouldn’t last, and it didn’t. Ron called out to Harry from somewhere in the hallway, and Harry pulled away from you. His glasses were fogged up and he was cursing Ron.

When the lenses cleared, he leaned down to press another chaste kiss to your lips. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered, exiting the room quietly.

You slumped onto your bed, staring at the open door with a forlorn look on your face. Ginny suddenly appeared in the doorway, her mouth hanging open and her hand pointing to the end of the hall, then to where you sat.

“What- what have I just witnessed? Why? This changes life as we know it. You! And Harry! You-“

You hurried to cut her off, standing from the bed and practically sprinting to the door to cover her mouth. “You be quiet now,” you warned, looking both ways in the hall and shoving Ginny inside your room.

“Why did I see Harry leaving this room looking like he’s got something to hide?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Listen, lady, you didn’t see anything, because nothing happened,” you said, pointing a finger at her.

“I never said anything happened, I just said he had something to hide. And guess what? I know he has something to hide, because I know you like him,” she retaliated, pointing her finger right back.

“Who? Me? Like Harry? Psssshhh… you’ve got the wrong girl. That doesn’t sound anything like me.”

Ginny folded her arms over her chest. “Oh really? Well, does this sound like you? Oh, Ginny, Harry’s just so cute! I wish he would like me back because, well, I just love him so much!” She batted her eyelashes, imitating a version of you that didn’t exist.

“Actually, Gin, that sounds nothing like me, so you can just forget anything that you think you saw,” you retorted.

“I don’t think I will forget. I think I’ll just tell everyone that you’re sneaking around with Harry. I didn’t miss the look he gave you at dinner either! So I can tell everyone, or you can quit lying and just give me all the details.”

She did have a way of getting you to cave. Really, it was just tactful manipulation.

“Alright fine, but if you tell anyone, you’re dead. Well, you can tell Hermione. She already knows.”

Ginny gasped, very offended. “You told her before your own sister?”

“I did not! She’s too smart for her own good. Anyways, sit down.”

Then, you told Ginny everything. It felt actually good to be able to talk about your relationship to someone other than Hermione, especially to your only sister, who you were honestly very grateful for.

You told her about how he kissed you a week before you left for school, solidifying the relationship you were having throughout the summer holiday. You told her about how he was funny and such a gentlemen. You even told her about how you’d been sneaking off since school started, and what you’d been doing.

Once Ginny was fully satisfied with the information and you were relatively sure she wouldn’t squawk to any of your brothers, she bid you goodnight and went to bed.

The following morning, Christmas Eve morning, you had risen later than usual. “Good morning, family,” you greeted, entering the kitchen and heading straight for the kettle.

“Morning,” Ginny said from the table. “I trust you slept well. I expect you feel loads lighter now.”

“Oh yeah, much lighter,” you grinned back.

“What are you two on about?” Bill said from his seat across from Ginny.

“Oh, nothing. Our sister just shared some interesting things with me last night,” she hummed.

You saw Harry’s head perk up from the couch, where he was laying. Ron was sprawled on the floor below.

“Gin, shut up,” you warned quietly.

“I’m not even sure I want to know,” Bill said.

“Oh, you’d be delighted, I’m sure. But, alas, I’ve been sworn to secrecy,” Ginny sighed.

“Then why even bring it up, you idiot?” you said as you sat down next to her, carefully eyeing a nervous looking Harry.

Bill followed your gaze and whistled lowly. You almost had a heart attack. “I see. That is very interesting.”

You turned to face your sister. “Look what you’ve done now. Why not just shout it from the rooftops?” you scolded.

“I didn’t say anything!” she defended.

“She’s right, you gave yourself away,” Bill confirmed, leaning in to whisper, “You’re lucky Ron’s pretty clueless on the floor over there.”

Your face burned. “Just don’t tell anybody.”

“Now why would I do that? It’s a whole lot more fun if you do it yourself.” Bill grinned, leaving you and Ginny at the table.

You dropped your head into your arms.

Later, you and Harry sat in the yard, leaning against a tree. You were on the side that couldn’t be seen from your siblings’ makeshift quidditch game across the yard.

It was the nicest day of break so far, not too cold, but not necessarily warm either. There was a dusting of snow on the ground, which delighted you.

You were lying in Harry’s lap, gazing up at him as he mindlessly played with your hair. “I can’t believe you told Ginny,” he said for the tenth time since breakfast.

You rolled your eyes and sat up. “I already told you, she was nagging me. Plus, I can’t really talk to Hermione about this sort of thing. She’s hung up on Ron. I keep telling her Lavender was just a phase because of some stupid love potion infused chocolate, but she usually just goes glum and ignores me.”

“You could just stop talking about us,” he suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

“You wouldn’t understand,” you said, reaching forward to fiddle with the zipper on his jacket.

“Why? Am I too charming and handsome for you to shut up about?” He grinned, taking hold of your hand and pressing it to his chest.

“Something like that.” You smiled, but quickly stopped when you saw the smug look on his face. “Don’t let that get to your head, Potter.”

“I won’t,” he said, leaning in to kiss your lips. His free hand came up to frame your face, and you placed yours on his thigh. You had half a mind to pull away, but only enough to see his face.

“Harry, we can’t do this out here. My siblings are right over there. Someone could see us,” you said softly, staring up at his bright green eyes.

“Honey, if you keep looking at me like that, I’m not gonna care,” he said, breath heavy as he looked at you adoringly. Your stomach did flips and you instantly forgot about reasons to hold yourself back.

You surged forward, kissing him hard on the mouth. You knew you wouldn’t get the chance to do so until well after dinner, so you took advantage of your siblings being distracted. He responded enthusiastically, wrapping an arm around your waist, tugging you closer.

“Woah, looks like I’ve caught more than just the snitch!”

You sprang apart, wiping your mouth as you looked up to see one of your grinning brothers, hovering above the tree on a broomstick holding a little golden sphere.

“Charlie! This isn’t what it looks like,” you managed, pushing yourself as far away from Harry as possible.

“Really, because it looks like you’ve been snogging his face off,” Charlie said, looking pleased with himself.

Harry burned bright red, refusing to make eye contact with either of you.

“Charlie, what’s taking you so long?” you heard Ron call from the other side of the yard.

“I’ll keep this a secret, but only because I love you, little sister. And because it’s funnier this way.” Charlie grinned again and turned on his broom to speed back to the group.

You and Harry left for the house before anyone else did, completely ignoring Hermione on the couch, her nose deep in a thick book, as you rushed upstairs.

Once you were sure you were alone, you stopped Harry in the middle of the hallway. “Okay, that was the last time. No more doing that in the open.”

“Sorry, got carried away. At least it wasn’t Ron who saw us.” Harry shuttered, not even wanting to think about what his reaction would be.

“Shake it off, Harry. Just three, only three of them know. There’s like a bajillion others that don’t,” you rationalized. “Look, we just need to get through this holiday without anyone else finding out that we’re together. I think we can do that.”

“You lied to mother?” A stiff voice came from down the hallway. Shit. You forgot Percy was still in the house, holed up in his room doing his Ministry work.

Harry’s eyes widened as he shook his head at you, refusing to turn around.

“You’re seeing someone and you lied about it?” Percy frowned. “Well, I’ll have to tell her.”

“No, you won’t have to tell her. Don’t tell her. Please,” you practically begged.

Percy didn’t look convinced. His steely gaze wouldn’t let up. “I won’t if you promise me to tell her.”

“I promise, Perce, just let me do it when I’m ready,” you said, less of a real promise and more of a strategy to get him to go back into his room. You were thanking God when he nodded curtly and did just that.

“Well, would you look at the impeccable timing on that,” Harry said sarcastically.

You grimaced. “Dinner’ll be a real treat tonight.”

Dinner was not a treat. It was delicious, of course, courtesy of your mother. But it was quite tense, at least for you and Harry.

Bill kept shooting you knowing glances from across the table, looking back and forth between you and Harry, who made the seemingly unconscious choice to sit beside you.

Charlie couldn’t even look at you without snickering to himself, prompting your mum to start questioning him on his odd behavior.

Percy was silently urging you to say something about it, pulling at his collar uncomfortably and staring at you, unrelenting.

Ginny was, thankfully, docile for the time being.

“Charlie, would you stop laughing at your sister? I don’t see what’s so funny about her,” Molly scolded, finally having quite enough of your brother’s behavior.

“Nothing’s funny,” he said with a hint of a smile.

Bill was looking at him with his eyes narrowed slightly. “What do you know?” he asked suspiciously.

“What do you know?” Charlie replied, just as skeptical.

“I think the better question is, what does dad know about muggles?” You laughed nervously, getting weird looks from Ron and the twins. “Come on, dad. Why don’t you tell us about your latest case?”

Your father looked up from his meal, looking surprised, for he had hardly been acknowledged since the start of dinner. “Oh, well, we had an odd couple in the other day. They were the sort who didn’t really look like they belonged together. So, anywho, they-“

“Hold on,” Ginny interjected. “How do you know they didn’t belong together? There are loads of couples who you might not think belong together, but actually do, so it’s best not to judge before you know the whole story.”

Your dad looked confused. “Um, I guess they just didn’t seem compatible, but I’m sure they belong together just fine, Gin, no need to worry about that.”

As he continued with his story about this couple and their illegally enchanted carpet, you turned to glare at Ginny.

She gave you a rather obvious look of annoyance, which gained the attention of Fred and George.

“Something’s going on here, Freddie,” said George, leaning to his right.

“Agreed,” said George, looking around the table.

You actually heard Harry gulp beside you. You put a hand on his knee, attempting to comfort him. This action made him choke on the sip of water he had taken.

“All right there, Harry?” Ron asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Harry coughed. “Just fine.”

Percy cleared his throat. “Maybe he has something to say.”

“Percy, don’t be rude,” your mother scolded. “The boy’s just choked.”

“Yeah, Percy, don’t know why you’d think he wants to say something,” Ginny said. “So, keep your mouth shut.”

None of the siblings who knew had known that others at the table were also aware, but they were each starting to connect the dots.

“Can I just have a nice Christmas Eve dinner with my family?” Molly slammed one hand on the table. “Enough of the fighting and the strange comments. Please, just be normal.”

Fred grinned. “I can’t imagine what’s abnormal about us.”

“Oh, me neither. But you, Freddie, are abnormal looking,” George followed.

The rest of the night after dinner was just as stressful. You and your siblings were sitting around the living room, with the exception of Percy, who, to your immense relief, had gone back to his room for work.

Fred and George decided it would be a good idea to play a game of truth or dare with the assistance of some veritaserum they nicked from Snape’s stores the day before holiday began.

Needless to say, you and Harry were not excited.

“Hermione,” Fred said. “Truth or dare?”

Hermione rolled her eyes as George made a gesture that suggested she should choose truth. “Dare,” she said.

“I dare you to go outside and kiss one of the gnomes.”

“A gnome, Fred? Really?” Ron scoffed.

“You’d rather she kissed you, would you?” George teased.

Ronsaid nothing, but his ears turned red, giving him away.

Hermione’s face turned a similar shade as she stood up from the armchair. “Fine, then.”

You all collectively gathered around the window and watched Hermione stalk outside and grab one of the ugly gnomes by its bald head. She made a disgusted face and gave the gnome a peck so fast that you barely saw it.

She came back inside and washed her mouth out in the sink before returning to the chair. “George,” she said coolly. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth, of course!” George said happily. “We’ve got to put our stolen goods to good use.”

“It was very wrong of you to take Professor Snape’s materials,” Hermione said, frowning. “Is it true that you were the ones who gave Ron amortentia spiked chocolates last month?”

“Yes,” George said easily.

Ron scoffed loudly. “You told me that wasn’t you! You said it was her! I was following Lavender Brown around for weeks because of those!”

“Well, we hadn’t meant for you to go for her. It was supposed to be someone else.” George winked at Hermione.

“We messed up the potion,” explained Fred.

George looked to you. “Truth or dare?” he asked.

“Truth,” you said mindlessly, thinking about Hermione and the gnome. You noticed the alarmed look Harry was giving you and realized your mistake. Damn gnome.

George grinned mischievously. “Do you really have a boyfriend?”

“Yes,” you said unwillingly.

A gasp from Ron could be heard from the other side of the room. Ginny and Hermione were looking rather nervous for you. On the contrary, Bill and Charlie were quite amused.

“Tell us, who is he?” Fred continued off of George.

“Harry Potter,” you admitted before slapping a hand across your mouth.

An even louder gasp could be heard from Ron that caused Charlie to burst out laughing. Fred and George were looking rather pleased with themselves. You supposed that was better than them pranking the life out of Harry for dating their sister, which you had expected to happen.

Harry sat on the couch with his hands clenched at his sides, looking at the floor as his whole face turned red.

“My sister, Harry? Really?” Ron said, his voice carrying a mixture of anger and betrayal.

“Yeah, well, I love her,” Harry said, fully dropping his head into his palms. He definitely hadn’t meant to say that to everyone in the room. “I hate this damn potion.”

“The heart wants what it wants, Freddie,” said George.

“It sure does, Georgie,” Fred said, clasping his hands together over his chest.

“Honestly, this is a Christmas miracle,” Hermione burst out. “I’ve been covering for you for months. Four, horrible, long months.”

“Four months?” Ron said, bewildered. “Hermione, you knew and you never told me?”

“Oh, please, Ronald. If you opened your eyes you would’ve seen what was going on,” Hermione said.

“Easy for you to say, you’re bloody brilliant. You could spot anything off. I love that about you,” Ron confessed.

Bill and Charlie were wheezing on the floor at this point.

“This is the gift that keeps on giving!” Fred exclaimed.

“I’m so happy we played this game,” George said through laughs.

Hermione stood, cheeks burning. “We should all go to bed. It’s Christmas tomorrow.” She went up the stairs quickly. Ron seemed to have forgotten all about you and Harry and followed her.

Your other four brothers slowly made their way upstairs, practically dying from laughter at your expense.

Ginny stood awkwardly, bidding you and Harry goodnight and leaving you alone in the room.

“That could’ve gone worse,” you said, finally making eye contact with Harry, who was still looking a little red.

“I, for one, didn’t fancy confessing my love for you to your whole family,” Harry said, scooting over to your spot on the couch.

“I did.” You grinned, leaning towards him. He rolled his eyes, but indulged you anyways, letting his lips touch yours.

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” you whispered against him. “I love you, too.”

#birdiewriteslit #birdiewritesfics #harry james potter x reader #harry potter x reader #harry potter #weasley!reader #harry james potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #brothers best friend

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babydollmarauders · 7 months ago

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GOODBYE — JOHN MARINO

part of the Maraschino Cherry! AU

y/nmercer

liked by john.marino97, dawson1417, and 6,927 others

y/nmercer new jersey, you made dreams come true. you gave me a few last years of living with my best friend, and you brought me my prince charming of a fiancé. i can’t thank this city and this team enough. i truly don’t have the words to describe how grateful i am for everything that jersey has meant to me, but it’s time for the next adventure. utah, i’ll see you soon…. please don’t take away my margaritas 🩵

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john.marino97 as taylor swift once said “everything you lose is a step you take.” just think of this loss as the first step in our personal journey, shortcake. this is the first in a long line of things we have to do on our own, and i’m so glad to have you by my side.

y/nmercer when he listens to and understands taylor swift 😩🤭 I’M GONNA PROPOSE

john.marino97 i think i already did that? what do you think i did when i got down on one knee and gave you that ring?

y/nmercer idk? i thought you just had a really weird way of gifting a promise ring or something

dawson1417 call me every day and tell me all about the mormons and life in utah! i’m gonna miss you, but i’m so happy you found your happily ever after and have someone to take on life with ❤️

dawson1417 even if that someone is john

john.marino97 we’re gonna be brothers one day, and then you’re gonna wish you were nicer to me

dawson1417 @/john.marino97 nah

y/nmercer i love you, bubba 🤍 thank you for being my best friend and allowing me to follow you around for the past 22 years. life will be so much different without you by my side

lhughes_06 i’ll miss you, mom! i hope you have a good time in utah! i’m gonna miss you dropping off cookies after losses and doing my curls

y/nmercer my first child <3 i love you so much, hun! i’m gonna miss you so much but i’ll see you later this summer and when we play NJD!

user92 this must be so hard for her :( i can’t imagine being with your twin from the womb to 22 and then having to move across the country just like that

user16 i mean, i’d assume she knew the risks of being with a hockey player and that it meant she could have to leave

user92 @/user16 that doesn’t make it any less hard for her

jackhughes gonna miss ya short stack! don’t get shunned out there in utah!

y/nmercer you’re not that much taller than me! just for that, i will not miss you

jackhughes oh no, you’ve wounded me! what ever will i do?!

y/nmercer fall in a hole, slut

jackhughes right back at you, whore

y/nmercer @/john.marino97 JOHN! LOOK WHAT HE CALLED ME!

jackhughes tattletale. you can dish it out but you can’t take it?

y/nmercer i’m just a girl

nicohischier we’ll miss your presence here in NJ, but i can’t wait to hear all about your new life, y/n!

y/nmercer please bring me back so many swiss treats as a going away gift!

user04 new jersey is gonna miss john’s talent and your kind heart and vivacious energy! i hope utah treats you guys well!

ehaula utah stole my babysitter! good luck out there, i’ll miss you both!

y/nmercer i’ll fly back. don’t ever underestimate what i’ll do for your children, erik.

nicolelaud i’m gonna miss my wine wife so bad 🍷🤍 i’ll pour a glass in your honor, babe. it’s been a privilege to be your friend and watch your relationship blossom beautifully. i’ll still see you in a few weeks, right?!

y/nmercer thank you for welcoming me into this team dynamic with open arms! i’ll miss you!! and absolutely! no chance i’m giving up a jersey bachelorette party!

user78 THIS IS HOW I FOUND OUT JOHN IS LEAVING US?! I HATE MY LIFE

vitacz15 i’m so sorry to hear about this! but i know you’ll do great there!

y/nmercer i miss my daily dose of vitek! thank you, VV!

curtislazar95 i’ll miss *adam hamway voice* THE MARINO’S! hope you thrive on the west coast! luke’s curls will miss you too

y/nmercer i’m a marino?! 🥹

curtislazar95 well yeah, soon enough!

naterbastian take care of my boy out there in the beehive state! i know he and you are gonna do great things!

y/nmercer awww bass! don’t worry, i’ll take care of your husband! 🫶🏻

jesperbratt don’t be a stranger ❤️ you have a home here any time. we’ll miss you both lots

y/nmercer oh bratt-man, don’t make me cry again 🥺

user30 the way john hasn’t posted a goodbye but she has 😭

user6 well, john never posted a goodbye when he was traded from the penguins either, but considering this seems to be the first NHL player she’s dated, i assume this is her first time having to leave against her will from a city she’s grown to call home, so it makes sense that she posted a goodbye

tmeier96 good luck on the west coast! i’m just a text away if you ever need anything, it was a pleasure to get to know you

y/nmercer just stab me with a dull soup spoon already, it would hurt less

john.marino97 @/y/nmercer no.

#maraschino cherry! au #john marino #john marino x reader #john marino imagine #john marino fic #john marino blurb #nj devils #nhl imagine #nhl fic #faithlynn’s writings <3

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ultralightpoe · 1 year ago

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Full House lll - Eddie Munson

Authors Note: Omg. Me? Staying on schedule? Never.

Word Count: 10112

Warnings: None? Idk.

Part One HERE and Part Two HERE

(Thank you for the gif @psychecreations )

Enjoy!

“When’s the first doctors appointment?” Nancy asks, walking up to where you were currently standing at your jobs wait station. You jump, dropping the order pad you had been scribbling in as you turn to find her leaning on the wall.

“What? Why are you here?”

“I was craving chicken and didn’t want to hear Steves kfc imitation. So we decided to come here.” She smiles, rubbing her stomach ever so slightly. “Plus it meant I got to check on you.”

“Oh I’m fine.” You lie, forcing a smile on your face as she narrows her eyes.

It’s been 4 days since the Christmas fiasco, and 4 days since you realized Eddie was leaving. You tried to pick yourself back up the day of Christmas but ended up telling everyone that you were really sick and should shut the party down early. They had all gone to Steves and you were truly embarrassed to think of what they might have been saying about you.

God, did you have to ruin everything you touched?

“You never answered my question.”

“Oh? I was just sick. It’s not a serious bug or anything. I just didn’t want to get you guys sick on Christmas. That would have been bad” you lie again, feeling a coiling feeling in your gut. “Why don’t you go sit?”

“Y/n, girl I love you. But you’re showing.”

“Am not.”

“Are too. Especially in this waitressing uniform.” It was true. Normally the old school 70s uniform fit you like a glove, falling just to your thighs and it made tips so much easier. Right now? It was on the tighter side…… which made tips even easier because your boobs looked great but you felt terrible about everything.

“Does he know?” Nancy asks, and you have to stop yourself from telling her or shove off. After a moment of silence she seems to take that for an answer. “Y/n….. Eddie needs to know.”

“Why? So I can trap someone else?” You laugh bitterly. “That poor guy has already put up with enough of my shit. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go grab tables.”

You walk past her, not giving her a chance to argue as you completely avoid looking to their tables direction and move to your own section of the floor to greet a new table.

Pam, one of your favorite regulars, sees you and greets you with a smile. “You never work Friday nights!”

You always spent Friday nights with Eddie and the girls for movie night. But Eddie ran and you needed to make rent so tonight Max was watching them.

“Starting now I will be. You want your usual babe?”

“You know it!.” She giggles.

Steve tried saying bye before they left and you pretended you didn’t see him as you took orders, by the end of the night your feet were killing you and you all but limped inside to where Max was sitting at the table doing college homework with her headphones on.

Either she didn’t have them loud or she was on edge, your guess being a bit of both, she knows you're there and turns to you when you enter the kitchen.

“Thank you so much Max.” You mumble, pulling out the tip money you had set aside for her. “I’m sorry I ran late.”

“No need to pay.” She smiles, pushing the money away. “I like spending time with them.”

That tight feeling in your stomach is back, digging in as you stare at the redhead. She had been part of the reason you chose Hawkins, Billy had (in one of his rare good moments) described the way Max seemed to blend in and find a home here. He told you about the friends she made and how she managed to grow into a brave person and you wanted that for your own. So, assuming she was gone, you moved out here. Little did you know you find her soon enough along with an entire group of people connected to your ex.

You had always been told max was dead.

Max had always been told Billy was dead.

You didn’t know how she figured you out until Eddie told you about VECNA and Lucas told you about his girlfriends sight for things.

“I…. I saw the tickets.” She admits, blush traveling her cheeks as you move to make a cup of tea. The cupboard was still broken and you couldn’t bear to look at it.

“What tickets?”

“You left your folder out on the table. I saw that you were figuring out where to go.” Max admits and you can’t help but tense.

“I just….. I don’t want the girls being surrounded by…..”

“Billy?”

“Yes…..” you admit, still keeping your back to her as you boil water. “And Eddie. I just don’t want them knowing that he left them. They adore him too much.”

Coward. Coward. COWARD.

“I’m not a mom, but I can get your urge to protect them.” Max mumbles. “But what if they end up hating you for taking them away.”

“Then they have someone to blame. I’d rather them blame me than themselves. It is my fault anyways.” You admit, tears springing into your eyes. “Anyways. Take the money, go have fun.”

“Do you need me again this week? I saw that you work on New Year’s Eve.”

“No. You should be going out with your friends.”

“The boys have a start of the year campaign and El is taking a trip with Hopper. I’m free.” She laughs, trying to break the tension built up. “I’ll be here at 2.”

You can’t get the words thank you out because of how tight your throat is, so you just mouth them as she grabs the money and passes.

Steve could not stop laughing when he saw Eddie’s face the day he brought the car into the shop, leaning over on his knees to catch his breath as he wheezed out.

Dylan, the other mechanic, kept looking over to watch the scene unfold as Eddie tried to focus on his friends car.

“Harrington.”

“Dude I know- it’s just that your face is so purp-hahaha.” Another fit of laughter and Eddie is debating throwing his drill at him. He was in no shape to be dealing with him today.

Truth was Eddie had barely gotten a wink of sleep, he couldn’t manage to. Not used to not having you beside him, or not having the girls night light and soft lullabies. It had been 5 days since he saw you and he was beginning to lose his mind and resolve.

Almost every night he nearly talked himself into going back, then he remembered Motleys broken cries as they carted him off and the way she clung to your hip. The way she screamed for her dad as Eddie attacked him.

Monster monster monster.

“Gotta give it to Hargrove. He knows how to punch.”

“Yeah well, hope he had his fun.” Eddie snaps, leaning back to make sure he adjusted the part correctly.

“Did you get him back?”

“I got a few licks in.” Eddie mumbles, feeling guilty about the pride that washes over him as he remembers the way he beat Billy's face in. That was motleys dad. As much as he enjoyed hitting him he probably just scarred the Metalhead for life.

“Oh a few licks.” Steve scoffs, moving to take a seat on the stool at Eddie’s workstation. “I know how strong you are Munson. You got more than a few licks in.”

“I shouldn’t have.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because Motley was right there! She’s gonna hate me forever.” Eddie scoffs.

“Oh you mean more than they already do?” This pulls Eddie’s attention, he had been doing so good about not asking but he was dying to know. What had they said? Were they happy he’s gone? Mad that he fought Billy?

“What’d they say?”

“Not much of anything. Nancy knows something is up but your girl is keeping her lips sealed pretty well. I didn’t even know about your fight with jackass until I saw your face.”

“But you said they were mad.”

“Yeah man, you missed Christmas and just dipped. Leaves a bad impression.”

“Oh whatever. They are better off, I just ruin everything.”

“Oh. My. God.” Steve gasps, looking at Eddie like he’s figured everything out. “You’re self sabotaging!”

“What?!”

“Yeah! You think you’re the bad guy and so you’re trying to run away which is just making you even more of a bad guy which means my wife can stop threatening to shave your head.”

“I….. no man you don’t get it.”

“I do get it. I get it more than anyone else and let me be the first to tell you that you’re being a massive idiot.” He sighs, standing up. “Motley was waiting by that window to spot you that entire day.”

“S……she was?”

“Yeah Munson. She was.”

“I just….. I don’t want to be the one holding them back. I don’t want her to hate me.”

“Did you ever think that maybe Motley chose you? Like you chose Wayne?” Steve asks, watching Eddie deflate before his eyes before turning to the car. “I’m not paying by the way. Consider my advice enough.”

“Ass.”

Eddie spends the day of New Year’s Eve by the phone, fighting the urge to call.

What would he say? How would he explain?

No. Don’t call. This is for the better.

Yes. Call. Just pick the phone just for the chance to hear your voice.

God damn when did life get so complicated?

“What are you doing?” Wayne asks, watching eddie from his spot on the couch. “Quit wearing down my carpet.”

The carpet has been worn down since Eddie had moved in, but he chooses not to comment instead he sits by the phone, keeping his pinky on the handle of the plastic and glaring at it.

“You expecting a call?”

“No.” Eddie groans, rubbing his chest to try and relieve some of the pain built up. God he missed you guys. “Fuck. I’m gonna go smoke.”

He rushes to the back porch before Wayne could argue, hearing the old man laugh as he slams the door.

There is a dog out there when he exits, chewing on a stick found from the trees and sitting right by the fence. Upon looking a little closer he sees that the dog actually seems caught under the fence, like he was trying to sneak in.

“Jesus.” He murmurs, keeping the joint between his lips as he walks up, socked feet stepping on sticks and stones making him grunt out and try walking on his tippy toes.

He looks back with a smile, expecting a giggle from one of the girls at his weird walk before he realizes he’s alone. Shit.

The dog is panting patiently when Eddie comes up, and the man reaches a hand to let him sniff before moving to help. The dog chooses to kiss at his arm, tongue lapping at the skin as Eddie lifts the fence to try and help free him.

“Why you sneaking in pal?” He grunts, bending the fence. “You hungry?”

Within moments the dog is out, jumping up and kissing at his face for being rescued. “God. Motley would love you.”

“Shhhhh Ziggy.” Motley whispers to her baby sister, pulling her closer to the corner. The way daddy eddie set up her room was perfect.

He had put her bed in the center which left a small corner by her nightstand hidden from the door.

Over the past week she had looked for Daddy Eddie’s number, finding it sprawled under the label emergency numbers where he had written it under Wayne.

It was so weird that Daddy Eddie called his dad Uncle Wayne. Adults were so confusing.

Before you had left for your shift that night you made sure to wish Motley a happy new year and made her promise to behave. Little did you know that she had crossed her fingers behind her back.

The second you were gone she dashed to grab the closest phone, pulling it into her room and hiding it as Max struggled to cook nuggets for dinner.

Later that night when Auntie Max was reading on the couch Motley tiptoed to Ziggys room before sneaking her sister out of her crib and tip toeing back as Ziggy giggles happily.

“Sissy…” She giggles, pulling at Motleys cheeks happily. “Zigsy.”

“No your Ziggy silly. I’m motley.” She corrects as she shuffles with her sister in an awkward half hold half walk carry until they are in the corner. “Okay Ziggy. Sissy needs your help. You remember the plan?”

“Zigzy!”

“Oh boy…..”

The phone rings late, and Eddie sits up in the couch to lean his upper body to answer it, stressed and annoyed.

The stray dog lifts their head, huffing at being woken up and tilting to hear, one ear shooting up. “Easy Zeppelin.”

The dog barks, and Eddie likes to think he enjoyed the name as he picks the phone up. “Munson residence.”

God it felt weird saying that again.

“DADDY!” Motley whispers, sounding scared. Eddie is instantly up, standing on his feet and swiping at his face to wake up a little more.

“Motley? What’s wrong baby?”

“Someone’s trying to get in daddy.”

“Get in where? Where are you?” He’s already reaching for his keys, heart beating through his ears as his hands shake.

“We’re at home.” She whines.

“Where’s mommy?”

“At work!” Fuck. “Okay. Okay. Just hide. Just like daddy told you, remember? If anything happens, hide. You know where Ziggy is?”

“She’s with me.”

“Good girl. Get under your bed or in your closet. I’ll be right there.” He mumbles, calling out to Wayne to grab the phone before booking it out of the trailer.

He gives no time for the van to warm up, tearing out of the trailer park so quickly he’s sure he hit someone’s patio chair, mumbling under his breath a panicked “fuckfuckfuck”

The van is uneven as Eddie pulls in quickly, shifting gears to park so hard it makes a grinding sound before he is swinging the door open and tearing out. His feet hit the gravel before the grass as he rushes to the front door, using his shoulder to shove it open harshly.

A scream tears out in to the air at his entrance before a book is thrown at him which makes him yell out at whoever is in the house.

“EDDIE?!”

“MAXINE?!” He snaps, blinking at her. “What the fuck you doing?”

“What am I doing?! What are you doing?! You physco!”

“Motley said that someone was trying to break in!”

“I put Motley to bed an hour ago.” Max grunts, confusion lacing her features.

“You’re babysitting?”

“Obviously.”

“But her car is in the front.” Eddie felt like he was going crazy. “And since when does she work nights?!”

“Her car wouldn’t start so she took the bus today.” Max sighs, rolling her eyes. “And she needs extra cash. Probably for the plane tickets to get out of here.”

“Tickets out of….” Before Eddie can process her words any further there is a small pair of eyes looking around the corner drawing his attention.

Ziggy moves quickly, coming around the corner with a very excited giggle, walking to him as fast as her little feet would allow. “Da-Ed-ay!”

“Hey there baby girl.” He smiles, picking her up and swooping her into his arms to kiss all over her face. It was odd, just how much he missed this and it seemed like she had gotten so much bigger in the 4 days he missed.

“I swear to god I put her to bed. How did she get out of her crib?!” Max glares, right as the culprit behind it all comes rushing out to run at Eddie.

“I knew you’d come! I knew it daddy!” She giggles, running at him and throwing her arms around him tightly. “You came back!”

“Motley?” He starts, brain beginning to process what she was saying. “Did you…. Lie to get me here?”

“I did!” She smiles, peering up at him with big doe eyes. “I lied daddy! And now you’re here and you can take all my Barbie’s!”

“If you know lying is bad and you’ll get punished, why did you do it?” He asks, pulling her off before squatting to her level. “Metal head, that was very dangerous-“

A gust of air leaves him as her arms wrap around his neck tightly, tears springing from her eyes. “I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore.”

“Motley I’m not mad, that was just dangerous and it scare-“

“No! About Billy. I’m sorry daddy.” His heart plummets, his brain racking to figure out what she was talking about. Why was she sorry?

“No. No I’m sorry.” He sighs, turning to see Max staring at them intently. “Hey max. Think you can take Ziggy for a moment?”

“Sure thing mop head.” The redhead scoops Ziggy up causing the young toddler to scream and kick, reaching chubby fingers out for Eddie. As much as he wanted to take her back he had to focus on Motley.

“Come sit.” He nods his head, leading her to the kitchen table sitting in the chair beside hers and angling it so they were facing. “Listen….. Daddy ha- Well I have been feeling really bad about Christmas Eve. I never meant to do that, or to attack your dad in front of you.”

“But-“

“I owe you a big apology for that Motley. And I don’t know what you’re feeling sorry about, pretty girl, but it’s not your fault and you have no reason to be sorry.” He murmurs, swiping the tears that fall from her cheek. “You have done nothing wrong.”

“I told Billy he couldn’t come for Christmas Daddy!” She blurts, her tears hit against his thumb as he keeps swiping her cheek. “I’m sorry!”

“No no no. You don’t be sorry.” He moves to pick her up, sitting her on his lap with her face pressed into his chest as he rubs his palm over her hair to try and soothe her. “Let’s just take a deep breath, okay? Then you can tell me what happened.”

There’s something coiling in his gut at her tears. Pain, anger, sadness. He truly could not tell, but he kept her close and rocked her back and forth to let her cry. When she finally calmed down enough to talk she started telling him.

“He was really mean daddy. And he kept t-telling me that y-you we’re gonna replace me-“ her body racks with sobs again. “He said you didn’t want me. A-and I was upset! But he w-was mean to you-“

“Easy.” He whispers, wiping her cheek once more. “You gotta breathe pretty girl.”

“He was m-mean. Said mean things about you daddy and mean things ab- I’m sorry! I-“ her sobbing gets worse and Eddie shushes her, choosing to rock her back and forth and keep her in his tight embrace. “And you w-were ma-you were madatme.”

“No no. I was never mad.” He sighs. “Daddy was never mad at you.”

“You were.”

“No, I was just scared. I…. Daddy didn’t want you hating him.” Eddie explains. “I just wanted to give you space. Having 2 dads is confusing. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

“He hit you.”

“Did he ever hit you motley?” Eddie asks sternly, squeezing her a bit in comfort.

“He spanked me.” That feeling in his stomach settled on rage.

“That’s not fair. And you shouldn’t have had to go through that.”

“Please don’t leave again.” As much as he wanted to promise her that he wouldn't, that wasn’t a promise he could make. You probably hated him, and he would have to talk this out with you first.

“Let’s get you to bed yeah? Daddy will tuck you in.”

“I want mama.”

“Well she’s at work.” He mumbles against her hair.

“Can we go get milkshakes?”

“I don’t know…..” it was almost 10. Then again it was New Year’s Eve and he didn’t want you taking the bus home so this would give him an excuse to go pick you up. “Only if they have chocolate.”

“You already know they have chocolate!” She giggles, and he can’t stop the way his heart seems to light up.

It was a busy night, and the smell of the jalapeno nachos all your tables were ordering was making you nauseated and angry. You wanted to throw up, maybe cry, maybe throw up then cry.

Apparently a town next to Hawkins lost power so a bunch of people were driving to this place to have a good new years which meant you were going to be stuck here forever. You found yourself stressing about the bus’ schedule as you dashed to run food.

This is what you had been doing when you spotted him. Running a tray of jalapeño nachos to your table, keeping it a safe distance from your nose as you thought about the fact that you might have to walk, and there he was.

Standing in the doorway, leather jacket and wide eyes, as you caught him looking for you. And he was holding Ziggy.

What the fuck Maxine?!

“Y/n get a move on!” Your manager calls and you snap out of it, moving to deliver the tray as the host seats Eddie.

You hear Motley call out “mommy!” And instantly knew that they would now be sat in your section. Did it make you a bad mother if you admitted you would rather die than face him tonight?

“Mama!” Your daughter calls, making you look over as she slides in, Eddie sitting right next to her and then you are forced to confront this. You should have learned about birth control. Better yet maybe you should have practiced the art of condoms more.

Thinking of all the ways you could have prevented this situation as you gaze at your daughters adorable smiling face. God she was beautiful….. still should have used a condom.

“What a surprise. I could have sworn I left you guys with Max.” You try to smile, avoiding looking at Eddie as Ziggy reaches for you. You grab her gently, bouncing her on your hip and she starts playing with your hair clip.

“I got daddy!” Motley admits proudly, pointing to Eddie which makes you look at him. Your heart thumping against your chest, adrenaline rushing through you as he stares at you with those god damn brown eyes.

“Munson.” You greet, turning back to Motley. “Girls, stay in the booth for a moment. Okay? I’m gonna talk to him outside.”

You walk off after that, leaving Eddie no choice but to follow as he jumps up and runs to catch up. The winter hair hits you, and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself to keep some of the warmth, the crappy waitress outfit doing nothing for you.

The second you hear your name fall from his lips you whirl, slapping him in the chest to push him back. “What the fuck is the matter with you munson?!”

“I…. Give me a moment to explain, please.”

“Explain?! EXPLAIN?!” A bitter laugh splits from your lips. “Look. I get it. My life was a bit too messy and fucked up, I’d run too. But you bringing the girls here is just making it worse. You’re going to get their hopes and it’s gonna crush them.”

“Too messy? Who said anything about it being too messy?”

“WHY ELSE WOULD YOU RUN?!” Your voice raises louder than you thought it would, but you don’t back down. “And I don’t appreciate you talking to my daughters without me. Now I gotta tell them-“

The words ‘my daughters’ sound wrong, and you can’t fight the disgust that coats you as you trail off, eyes widening as he stares back at you with a set jaw. “I just mean….. I get why you left okay? My life is chaos and you were really nice for staying and pretending like it was fine. But those girls…. They can’t know you left cause of that. I was hoping, as shitty as it sounds, that after a couple years they’d forget. Y’know?”

You are swiping at your cheeks as tears stream down your face, trying not to look at him. You catch him moving up, his hands outstretched, but you move backwards so he can’t grab you. “Eds. Y-you should just go. Okay? It’ll be fine.”

“No it won’t-“

“It will. I’ll be fine. I won’t be mad-“ then his arms are around you, pulling you in quickly as he shoves your head into his chest and you get to inhale his scent once more. Doing your best not to outright sob.

“I was the mess.” He blurts. “I was scared, okay? I was scared that Billy was gonna turn everyone against me, and I was scared that I ruined Motleys Christmas.”

You scoff, trying to pull away, not really believing the excuse. Before you can fully move he wraps an arm around your waist, his other hand moving to your jaw to drag your eyes up to his own. “I was scared. I was a coward.”

“But-“

“No buts. I didn’t leave cause I thought you were a mess, baby I think you’re perfect and your daughters are so fucking precious to me. I…. You really thought I was running cause I couldn’t handle it?”

“I just-“

“Y/n!” Your boss calls from the door, looking exasperated. “You gettin sick again? Need to go? Or you wanna get paid so you can afford maternity leave?”

You tense again under Eddie’s touch, stomach curling as you try and take a step back while Eddie’s brows knit in confusion before he turns to glare at your boss. “She’s sick.”

“Fine. Take her home. Just have to transfer tables.” The man snaps, turning to walk back in before Eddie is whirling on you.

“Am I crazy or did he just say maternity leave?”

“Eddie….” You sigh, feeling saliva build up as you panic. He watches you, taking a step back just as you lean forward to puke.

The car ride is silent. Not the serene kind of quiet and more so the anxiety inducing type.

You had no clue what to say to him at this point. Suddenly everything just seemed to….. silly. You’re reaction and his reaction. You should have just called. Why hadn’t you called?

No, he should have called.

You were being a decent person and giving him space and “mama?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I sleep with you and daddy tonight?”

“Ya!” Ziggy yells, making Eddie chuckle under his breath as he leans to turn the heater in the car up. It had been forever since you had ridden in this van, since he deemed it unacceptable to drive the girls around in since it lacked seatbelts or a backseat. Even now everytime he braked he means a hand out to block the girls even with Ziggy in your lap.

“I don’t know…”

“Please! Please please.”

“We will talk about it when we get home.”

Only there was no talking about it, the second you got home with the girls Motley ran to throw away her to go milkshake cup then dashed to your bed quickly which turned into a screaming fit when you tried to tell her no.

The word condom just kept circling your mind as you finally just told her to lay down, she did so and Ziggy soon made her appearance to crawl onto the bed.

Eddie takes off his shoes. Moving to lay with the girls as you turn off one of the lights so the room was dark enough for them to fall asleep, and then you shuffle to the bathroom to shower before bed so you didn��t smell like grease and beer.

It wasn’t even 10 minutes before you heard the door open and shut softly, you turn already knowing he is heading for the shower and watch as the curtain opens lightly.

Normally he would jump right in like he belonged there which would make you laugh, tonight he had a questioning gaze, trying not to over step. You give him a small nod and then the curtain is pushed aside and he dives in, still in his shirt and jeans.

“Edward-“ you warn before his lips are on yours in a searing kiss. He keeps one hand on your jaw to keep your lips connected as his other wraps around your back to keep you close as the water runs over both of you getting his clothes soaked. By the time you pull back he’s already working his way down your neck with kisses as you earn him again “clothes.”

The hand holding your jaw moves to cover your mouth quickly as he peers at you, giving you a fake angry expression that has you laughing. “Do not wake our kids.” He whispers before stepping back to undress.

The jeans take a moment to shuck off since they were wet but the second he is free Eddie dives for you again, showing up just how much he missed you.

You sit with him on the floor of the kitchen by the fridge, using the light above the oven as your only source of light while you both snack, keeping cuddled together in nothing but your robes.

Nothing has been said yet, and you were just fine with that, exhausted and happy that he was there. But he has to ruin it, of course he does.

“I’m still sorry.” He murmurs, scraping the cream of one side of an Oreo using the empty side.

“I am too. I think we’re both incredibly stupid right now.”

“You’re telling me.” He blushes. “I just…. There was a time in my life when I hated Uncle Wayne. I had this image in my mind that he was trying to tear me away from my dad. Fuck I just wanted to be with my dad, I looked up to him whether he beat me or not and- the way I treated Wayne and the way I hated him….. my dad didn’t help, everytime I went back with him my mom and I just ended right back up at Wayne’s with more bruises than last time. And when she passed I was the only one there to inflict it. Wayne for him arrested and I swore my world was ending, swore I would never talk to Wayne again.”

“You thought that was what was going on with Motley? That she felt like you were tearing her and her dad apart?”

“Yes and no. I just was trying to prevent that from happening, I didn’t want her to have to experience that choice.” He whispers, picking at the robe. “I just wanted to protect her.”

“She wanted to protect you too.” You whisper back. “That’s love.”

“Billy told her that…. That I was gonna try and replace her.” He gulps, and you stop smiling instantly. “And now that you’re pregnant, and as happy as I am because I am so happy, I need to make sure she knows that I’m not trying to replace her.”

“We’ll make it work.” You mumble, laying your head on his shoulder. “We always do”

He hums out, laying his head on top of yours and sitting in the silence for a moment before you break it once more. “Where are your rings?”

“Haven’t worn them since I got arrested.” He answers, holding up his bare hands. “My fingers were too bruised and swollen at first, then I just couldn’t care to put them on.”

“Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go to bed..”

“Give me five more minutes.” He whispers, turning his head to kiss your own, keeping his nose pressed into your hair.

“Why?”

“I just…. I just want to be near you for a little longer.”

The sun peaks through the curtains, hitting Eddie right in the face which in return makes him groan out, moving the pillow around to try and block it. I’m his attempt to move Ziggy wiggles around, giving a displeased noise that her dad woke her up from sleeping before moving to lay right on his chest.

Motley does not move an inch, mouth wide open and eyes sealed shut, Eddie has to reach a hand out to poke her and make sure she’s not dead.

She wrinkles her nose, moving closer and shoving her face in your pillow, staying peacefully asleep.

You’re sitting at the edge of the bed, and he can only blink at you trying to straighten his eyesight as he watches you zip up your work boots. (For some reason I imagine go go boots with the 70s look. I don’t know guys. I….. I have no clue).

“You going to work?” He blurts, making you jump.

“Sorry, yeah. Max will be here soon to watch the girls. We agreed on it last night before I left.” You mumble, moving to grab your apron.

“I can watch em….” He whispers, staring at you. The way the sun from the window hits you makes you look angelic.

“Okay.” You smile, moving to kiss Motley and Ziggys heads before you move to walk away. Fully offended Eddie snatches your hand and draws you back, annoyed at the shit eating grin on your face.

“Baby,” he whines making you let out a small laugh and lean down to kiss his lips before rushing to leave.

He lays with the girls for a little longer making sure the blanket is covering all three of them before the day truly has to start and he forces himself to get up. Setting Ziggy down without waking her up was a difficult task but he managed, shuffling to the bathroom to change into todays clothes, thankful that he no longer has to wear all the shit clothes he left at Wayne’s when he originally moved out.

Upon exiting the bathroom he nearly trips over Motley, who had been sitting in front of the door. “What are you doing Metalhead?”

“You took forever…” she whines, wrapping herself around his calf which makes him smile. “I wanna stay with you.”

“Okay,” he answers, moving down to peel her off his leg and letting her climb up for a piggy back. “You’re gonna help me make breakfast then.”

“Waffles?”

“We’ll just have to wait and see.” He smirks, walking down the hall as the front door opens to reveal Max.

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.” She rushes out, face red from running. “I woke up a little late and-“

“It’s no problem. I’m here if you had other things to do.” Eddie offers. “Or you can stay and have some breakfast?”

“Sounds great. I’m kinda ignoring the rest of the group right now.” She explains, setting her bag down and following them into the kitchen. Eddie gets Max set up at the table, trying to set Motley with her but the girl wiggles and whines so he allows her to stay.

He listens to Max rant about the group as he moves around to make waffles, enjoying the easy feeling he gets being here. God why did he ever leave home?

“-And Lucas is just always set out to fight Erica. You’d think he had a crush on Dustin and wanted to date him. You know? I get it, your baby sister starts dating your closest friend. A little weird. But get over it!”

“I think Uncle Dustin and Auntie Erica are so cute!” Motley adds which makes Eddie chuckle a bit.

“Lucas is upset because he always thought they were in agreement that Erica was annoying.” He explains, bending down to set Motley down and bring the food to the table. “But it’s been months. Time to move on.”

“Exactly!” Max sighs right as Ziggy comes pounding in with an angry look.

“Alone….” She whines and Eddie smiles at her. “Aweee did you wake up alone? My poor little baby.” He coos, picking her up and bringing her close to kiss before setting her on his lap to help her eat. He already knew she would not be into the high chair based on the way even Motley was clinging to him.

Even now, as she used a spoon to shove waffles in her mouth, she kept a hand on his own arm to keep him close.

“I’m gonna work on mamas car today.” He explains. “I’ll be right outside. So maybe you girls can stay in here and keep Max company.”

“I wanna stay with you.” Motley whines, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“No it’s too cold. You stay in here. Okay?” And then Eddie gave her his puppy dog eyes. Oh yeah, can’t beat dads game.

She groans and looks at Max who smiles in return. “I’ve been practicing my barbie voices just for you.”

“Fine! But barbie is married to G.I. Joe! Ken is the villain. We’re not arguing about it again.”

“But isn’t it Barbie and Ken? Wouldn’t Joe be the villain?”

“Maxine.” Motley warns, slamming her tiny hand on the table.

“Fine. Got it.”

It didn’t last long.

Eddie had put on his mechanic suit, trying to keep warm as he took a look at what was going on with your car. 15 minutes in Motley came out wearing her snowsuit and smiling. “Look daddy! I can help!”

“I thought I said to stay inside-“ a laugh breaks out when she takes off the hood of the snow suit to reveal that she tied a bandana over her head like a hat. “That’s not how you tie it. Come here.”

He helps her tie it like his, telling her to sit a little closer to the grass as he keeps working, making sure the radio is on a station she would like as he does so.

By the time you get home she is making snow angels in the snow of the lawn as he curses under his breath.

“What’s going on?” You ask, making him jump and hit his head on the hood of your car. “Oh! I’m so sorr-“

“It’s good. I’m good.” He laughs, letting you fuss over him anyways. He takes his chance to kiss at you before you are pulling back.

“You are covered in car nastiness-“

“You mean grease and oil?” He laughs, keeping you trapped in his arms to rub his cheek on your shoulder. You yell out playfully, still trying to escape as he does so.

“Does this mean you guys are good?” Steve appears, dustin behind him. “Are you done being mad at me Y/n?”

“I was never mad at you!” Eddie keeps his arms around you as you turn to look at Steve, making sure Motley is good.

“Yes you were. I waved at you the other night and you completely ignored me.”

“I didn’t see you wave.” You reply and Eddie can’t help but laugh.

“I called your name!”

“It was a busy restaurant, how am I supposed to hear everything.” You scoff, pulling from Eddie’s arms and flipping your hair. “Come on Motley. Let’s go inside.”

“Just admit you saw me wave!” Steve groans, following you to the door before Motley turns to shove him and close the door in his face. “Rude!”

“Steve, did you just get beat up by a kid?” Dustin laughs.

“It’s Eddie’s kid. Does that count?”

“My kids are great!”

Things took a moment to get back to normal, but that was to be expected.

Eddie found the folder of all your research on places to go, running his fingers over the math you sprawled across the pages to figure out how you would afford it, he promptly threw it in the trash bins outside.

Motley stayed glued to Eddie as much as she could, and in the mornings when he had to get up for work she made sure to wake him up and give him a kiss by the door making sure that he swore to come back before she would dash down the hall and lay with you.

Makeup Christmas happened, except it was only Wayne that was invited and instead of a whole feast you guys ordered a crap ton of Chinese food.

Wayne came over early, sneaking around the back and coming in through the back door which confused the girls to no end but they were excited to see their grandpa.

Ziggy also proved that she learned 2 more words by saying “shit grandpa!” All excited and reaching her hands up for him to grab her.

He howls with laughter, scooping her up and throwing her in the air as she screams in excitement.

Everyone sits around the tree opening gifts, Wayne on the couch with Ziggy on his lap helping her open the gifts. Eddie sat by the tree, passing them out with Motley right by him and you next to her.

He pulls out an envelope that has his name sprawled on it and looks at you.

“I had a plan for Christmas. But I kind of had to redo it. I planned on giving you the stick, but figured since you already know I’d get the ultrasound.” Yoh blush, watching his excitedly tear it open.

It’s quiet for a moment as everyone watches him admire the photo, smiling from ear to ear.

“Anything you notice?” You ask, waiting.

“What do you mean?” He asks, before Wayne snaps his fingers and grabs the photo gently.

“There’s two.” Wayne grunts before his eyes light up. “You’re having twins!”

“Obviously….” Eddie mumbles, “we already knew that?”

“What?”

“The stick? It had two blue lines? So that means we’re having twin boys? Right?” Eddie mumbles, staring at you like your crazy.

It’s quiet for a moment as you and Wayne process what he said before you burst into laughter, the girls following even though they had no clue what was going on.

“Not even close boy!” Wayne cackles as you have to wipe some of the tears from your eyes.

“Does that mean you’re pregnant mommy?” Motley asks, turning to look at you with wide eyes. Your heart stops, going back to what Eddie had told you.

“Yes. Mommy is pregnant .” You wait to see her reaction and Eddie finds himself reaching for the gift he had added two days ago. “Motty. I have something for you.”

He snatches the tiny box, holding it out to her. “It’s a really important gift though. Okay?”

She nods slowly, taking the box from him and opening it just as slow. Inside held a simple chain necklace, but when she pulled it out it revealed that he had hung his mothers ring on it, the one he normally wore on his right hand by itself. “I was told to give this ring to someone very special. It’s from my own mom.”

She gasps, turning to him. “You’re giving it to me?!”

“Well yeah! You’re my oldest kid. My firstborn.” He laughs, moving to help her put it on. Then he snatches another box and hands it to her. “This one is for both you and your sister.”

She reaches for it and opens it gently, pulling out a heavy chain that has a dog tag connected to it. “Another necklace?”

“Well…..” Wayne laughs, flipping it to reveal what the dog tag says.

“Who is Zeppeplin?”

“Zeppelin, baby.” You correct, already standing up.

“Who is Zeppelin?” She giggles, which makes Eddie laugh, picking her up by her armpits to make her stand as you go and open the back door.

The dog, a young little puppy at most, snaps his head to the noise and wags it’s tail excitedly upon seeing you.

“Come in!” You smile and he bolts from his spot tearing up sticks to get inside. Once he hits the threshold of the house he is everywhere. Sniffing the fridge to the chairs, jumping on his hind legs to clean up the high chair where Ziggy left her banana. After inhaling that he bolts to explore more, completely missing the living room as he bolts down the hall to sniff all the rooms.

Once Motley sees the flash of fur she screams in excitement, which draws the puppy back and they both just feed off each others excitement.

She’s jumping up and down, screaming in excitement and the dog starts howling to match her while his butt starts wiggling at how hard he is wagging his tail.

“I am so excited for Chinese later.” Wayne murmurs, coming to hug you as Eddie tries to calm both the noisemakers down. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“Of course, you’re grandpa.” You smile, watching Ziggy from his arms just stare intently at the scene before her. “She can’t tell whether to be excited or scared.”

Wayne laughs, pointing to the dog and trying to help Ziggy see him.

Later that evening everyone sits around the table, Max with you all, as you pile Chinese food onto the plates. Motley keeps showing Max the necklace she got while Wayne keeps bragging to Eddie about his new Jean jacket.

Zeppelin chooses to sit by Ziggy, and it’s very clear that the dog has already figured out who will drop the most food. Ziggy giggles every time she drops a piece of broccoli and he catches it.

“Now we’re gonna have to watch her every time we give her veggies.” Eddie groans. “She’s got an accomplice!”

“Zeppy and Ziggy!” Motley cheers like their superheroes.

February rolls around soon enough, and your daughters biggest catastrophe had nothing to do with the restraining order on Billy, or her dads new bike (which she was terrified of). No. Motleys world was ending over valentines cards.

Eddie had helped her pick them out, little heart shaped cards that you could stick lollipops in, and had sat with her to write in them as you took Ziggy in for a haircut.

The only one that Motley had not written a card for was Troy, and now the morning of Valentine’s Day she was still panicking.

“I can’t write love cause then he will want to get married!” She explains and Eddie nods like it’s super serious. “And I can’t write like, because then he will know I have a crush on him!”

“Glad you can admit it.” He nods and she rolls her eyes. “Here’s an idea! Okay, you ready metal head?”

“Ready daddy!”

“You can write ‘from Motley’.” He laughs, watching her face go serious.

“That’s what I wrote on the others!”

“Exactly.” He watches as she thinks about it before nodding quickly and writing it down, tossing it in her valentines box and dashing to grab her backpack.

“She finally figure out Troys?” You ask, shuffling Ziggy in. “It’s been days.”

“She did. We decided on writing ‘from motley’.” He smiles, leaning forward to kiss you before leaning down to kiss your stomach then Ziggy.

“Stevie….” Ziggy giggles, running to the phone. It didn’t take long to figure out that she would be the one to run the phone bill up, even now she spent every morning learning to dial her uncle Steve’s number. She dialed Dustin once but deemed him “poopoo head.”

“Nuh uh. Come eat pretty girl.” Eddie calls, pointing to her chair. “Zeppelin is waiting.”

The dog, who just a month ago had been tiny enough to lay under her chair, now sat at full height beside it. Still a puppy, just bigger.

Ziggy runs, her little pigtails bouncing as Eddie picks her up by the overalls to sit her in the chair. Now trained Ziggy eats his dog food beside her rather than everything she drops, and if somehow someway some of her waffle drops in his bowl then it can’t really be considered his fault.

“Motley, hurry up baby.” You call. “We gotta go.”

“You good to pick Wayne up?” Eddie asks, moving to grab his lunch.

“Yes. I’ll drop Motley off at school and go and grab him.” Wayne had injured his hip, so today you’ll be taking him to the doctors to see what the plan was while Eddie went to work.

“Okay. And Ziggy is still good to-?”

“Ziggy and Zeppelin are going to Nancy’s, yes.” You smile. Nancy had just given birth to her third boy, and she liked having Ziggy over because she liked having another girl in the house.

“Okay. Tell me how it goes?” He asks, leaning to give you one more goodbye kiss as you nod before moving to say bye to Motley. “BYE BEAUTIFUL LADIES!”

The day had started off so well, you should have known it would only go downhill from there.

Wayne sat in the passenger seat of your car, irritated and ranting about shitty doctors. “I’m not doing it. You hear me? Just give me some Tylenol and I’ll be fine.”

“MOMMY!” Ziggy screams, from her spot on her car seat.

The doctor had told Wayne he needed hip surgery and could not work, which meant that Wayne was pissed and you were panicking about what to do. He couldn’t work which meant he wouldn’t be able to make rent and he would need some help to move around. Then when you got to Steve and Nancy’s she had told you that Ziggy had taken quite a stumble off the table and scratched her chin on the corner of the table.

It was a mess.

Both of them were not having a good day and Zeppelin was howling at their ranting and screaming and as much as you loved them you truly debated crashing the car.

Then you got home to yelling.

Eddie stood in the living room, still in his work attire with his hands on his hips and his eyes wide. “You’re in rare fucking form today, you know that?!”

The response to his question is met with a demonic scream from down the hall and you can only assume that Motley was having a bad time as well.

“I’m not getting a surgery, you hear me Edward?” Wayne snaps, limping to the couch.

“What the fuck are you on now?” He snaps back, looking at him annoyed as Ziggy rushes past crying. “What the fuck is going on?”

“It’s apparently a meltdown day.” You sigh, moving to kiss his cheek and go into the kitchen to make a snack for yourself.

Todays pregnancy craving was potato chips with lime juice and pickles, Eddie watches from the entrance of the kitchen with a smile as you settle at the table and enjoy your snack.

He moves and takes the seat next to you, following your lead on snacks.

“Why is Metalhead in ‘rare fucking form’ today?” You giggle, watching his face pinch in annoyance.

“I pick her up and she gets in the car, right? And then she just starts screaming at me! And I mean screaming. The entire ride home! And from what I gather Vinny didn’t give her a valentines card.” He explains. “God. She was yelling like she was possessed. Then I tried explaining that maybe it was lost and that made it worse.”

“Did she get one from Troy?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think she cares either.” He sighs, rubbing his jaw.

“Okay, we let her ride out the fit in her room. We’ll call Steve later to see what happened.”

“Sounds great to me.” He smiles. “She scared me a little. Threatened to cut her hair and everything. Then threatened to cut MY hair.”

A small laugh tears from you as he steals the potato chip in your hand before looking to Wayne’s direction. “They recommend surgery?”

“It wasn’t a recommendation.” You sigh, grabbing his hand and tracing the tattoo. “I think we need to move the house around.”

“What?”

“If Wayne gets surgery he needs to be here. I’ll cut back shifts at the diner and help him out.” You start. “He won’t be able to use the stairs so maybe we can move our room downstairs which would give more room for the twins cribs in our room, but Ziggy has problems with the stairs and she likes coming in to sleep with us cause of the nightmares but-“

“Easy. Easy.” Eddie mumbles, turning his hand up quickly to snatch your hand and pull it to his lips. “We’ll figure it out.”

And so you did.

Eddie moved the house around, and turned the basement into a bedroom for you guys. Now with more room and your own bathroom down here he could set up the cribs.

Wayne took your old room, and though the man threw a fit the girls got excited that Grandpa Wayne would be living here now.

He got the surgery in the beginning of March, and Motley and Vinny were still fighting.

You spent your days helping Wayne, taking him to pt and helping him move around the house.

Motley and Vinny got put into separate classes which lead to a whole argument between Steve and Eddie about whose kid was the one to blame.

Life was a bit of a mess.

It all came to head at the children's father dance.

Eddie had dressed in a tux, making sure he looked good as you got Motley ready for the night. With Wayne napping on the couch with Ziggy asleep on his chest drooling (a daily nap these two took) Zeppelin follows at your feet, keeping close to you as you did Motley's hair.

“How do I look?” Eddie asks from the door of the bathroom. “I have a date tonight and I’m really nervous.”

“Daddy!” Motley giggles, rushing to him in her puffy little skirt, hugging him tightly.

“Alright you two. Let me get a picture.” You smile, rushing past to find where the camera had gone. By the time you got a picture of them Motley was rushing Eddie out, ready for the dance.

He struggles to find parking, and ends up finding one right next to Steve’s car, rolling his eyes when he sees Harrington fixing his jacket while Vinny reads in the car.

“Harrington.” He greets coldly, fixing his leather jacket and moving to open the door for his daughter.

“Munson.” Steve matches the tone, scoffing at Eddie’s jacket. “Little Munson.”

“Uncle Steve.” She huffs, fixing her hair.

“Really? A leather jacket Edward?”

“You look like you stepped off a Queen music video, Steven.” Eddie snaps, holding out his hand for Motley. Fighting or not they wait at the front of the car for Steve and Vinny. Walking into the dance together.

“I’m surprised that they even let you in here. Your child is a danger to society.” Steve snaps as they wait in line for tickets.

“Let’s talk about your kid giving everyone but my sweet Angel a valentines card. That’s barbaric.” Eddie defends, watching Motley wave to her friends.

“He didn’t want to. And I don’t need to tell him what to do.” Steve blushes, turning to look at something to avoid looking at Eddie.

“There it is again. You’re acting so fucking suspicious about that card, man.” Eddie points at him, silver rings glinting in the light. “Tell me what you know.”

“Tickets?” The poor woman asks, interrupting their stand off.

“Yes please. Four.”

“No two. I’ll get my tickets.”

“No I’ll get them”

“You’re not buying me ,Steven.”

“He’s buying me.” Motley smiles, snatching the money from Steve’s hands and setting them on the table before grabbing two tickets. “Let’s go get some pop, daddy.”

Eddie can do nothing but follow, letting the little lady lead the way.

After about an hour of Motley showing him everything and introducing him to all her friends she abandoned him to hang out with some of the girls in her class, making sure Eddie was okay where he sat at an empty table nursing a can of soda.

It felt like high school again, watching the way all the other dads surrounded Harrington as the pta moms that decorated huddled together and giggled in the corner. At least the kids were having fun.

Eddie wished you were here, you would be sitting with him.

“Jesus. Gary never shuts up.” Steve mumbles, snapping Eddie out of his train of thought. “I got you a slice of pizza.”

He sets the slice down, giving Eddie a weird smile as he scarfs down his own slice. But eddie wasn’t very hungry, instead he surveyed to check on motley and see her giggling with all her friends as they dance in a circle.

“Your kid has been sitting alone, you gonna help?” Eddie asks, looking to where Vinny sits reading a book.

“I tried earlier. He just said something about me embarrassing him more.” Steve sighs. “Then complained that I ruin everything.”

“What happened? I’ve never seen him alone at a party.”

“Have I not told you? Your daughter is the popular one. They made her move classes and he was left in their old class struggling to make friends.” Steve mumbles.

“Why don’t you get one of the many dads following you around to get their kids over there? It feels like I’m in highschool again, waiting for your cronies to shove me in the bathrooms and lock me in again.”

“How long were you in that bathroom, again? Two hours?”

“Three.” Eddie sighs. “I smoked and set off an alarm so the principal found me.”

“Sorry.”

“Wasnt one of your worst. I was fine.” Eddie shrugs. “Sorry about Vinny.”

“I have faith.” Steve sighs, leaning back in his chair. “I also cannot believe I’m at a daddy daughter dance.”

“It’s a father kid dance?”

“They didn’t want the boys feeling left out.” Steve explains.

“I see.” Eddie smiles, picking at the pizza.

“He wrote one. You know?”

“Sorry?”

“Vinny wrote one. He wrote a valentine for Motley and got her a big chocolate bar. But a girl made fun of him in the parking lot and he panicked.” Steve explains. “Ripped it up and left the chocolate on my car to melt on the seats.”

“I can clean that.”

“You can?!”

“Oh yeah. I got you Harrington.” Eddie laughs right as another dad comes to the table.

“Howdy gentleman.” He smiles, sitting down. Eddie has to blink to recognize, holy shit that’s Tommy. “Oooo. I’m sitting at the hellfire table. So scary…”

“Do you have a kid here…?” Steve asks, blinking slowly.

“Yeah.” He slurs, pointing to the young kid stuffing his face with marshmallows. “You guys want some whiskey?”

“Jesus. I smell it from here man.” Steve snaps, standing up.

“I’m driving. Hard pass.” Eddie laughs, standing with Steve.

“It’s so weird to me that you two are friends! That shit is like….. mind flowing!”

“Blowing.” Steve corrects and Eddie sighs. “Damn it Harrington. It was a trap.”

“Blowing is more for you guys, if you know what I mean.” Tommy laughs and Eddie shakes his head.

“How did you fall for that Harrington? You made that line.” Eddie grumbles, moving to find Motley. “Hey Metalhead?”

“Yeah daddy?” She asks, coming up with her cheeks bright red from all the dancing.

“Have you eaten?” He asks, offering her a bite of his pizza before looking back over to Vinny. “Think you can go help him out?”

“Yeah. I guess.” She sighs, kissing his cheek and rushing to find Vinny and bring him out to dance.

By the end of the night Eddie has danced to about every little pop song she wants, and by the time he is bringing her to the car it’s more of a carrying her situation as Steve tries to trip Vinny up.

“Have a good night Harringtons.” Eddie laughs.

“Sleep tight Munsons.”

“Shouldn't you be in bed?” Eddie asks, peering up at you over his book as you shuffle and pace around the room.

“Shut up.” You grunt, waving your hand at him. Your face is pinched up and Eddie finds himself sitting up and staring at you.

“What’s going on here?”

“Edward shut UP!” You snap, pacing back to the wall and holding your hands against it to try and breathe in. “Sorry. Sorry that was mean.”

“Are you in pain?” He mumbles, standing up and putting on his slippers.

It was your ninth month, and Eddie was anxious because he had never experienced the pregnancy part of it all before so every kick and movement made him worried.

“Eddie. Edward. Eds.” You grunt out, and right there something trickles down your leg.

“Did you just pee?”

“EDWARD!”

(Would you guys want me to keep going? I have more ideas {Especially Motley in high school} Feel free to message me if you want me to keep going or if you have any blurbs or requests for them in mind)

TAGLIST:: (Let me know if you want removed)

@mariamayhemrsmunson @bethanyzed @alyisdead

@caseyqdilla @zooboomanfu @avenjames-anderson @hazydespair

@bl1ssfulbaby @username199945 @costellation-hunter @vanessav03 @thehuntresswolf @r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e @jackiosstuff @mysticpeachobject @animechick555 @natie335 @localemofreak @venuslayla23-blog @cherrycolas-things @dontcrydaddy

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson fanart #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things fan #strange imagine #stranger things #stranger things fanart #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things angst #stranger things smut

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itsbeeble · 2 years ago

Text

Lovin’ Me (pt. 1)

Summary: You and Jeonghan have a...difficult relationship. You love him, and though you would like to think he feels the same, you know he will never love you. So why do you keep going to him every time he calls?

Genre: Angst, (mild) smut, college!au (are we surprised? no), hurt no comfort

WC: 2.9k

Pairing: Yoon Jeonghan x fem!reader

Read the other parts: pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3

WARNINGS UNDER THE CUT || MINORS DNI!!!!

Warnings: mild smut, pet names, angst, name calling (in the not sexy way), mild bullying? Idk that’s it I think. Jeonghan’s kind of a bitch

listen to Lovin’ Me by FIFTY FIFTY for the full effect

It keeps happening

Let's meet again

At this hour

You feelin' me?

You did it again.

You responded to his call.

Despite the late hour, despite the exhaustion weighing on your bones, you responded to his call. Responded to Jeonghan, to the way he called you only when he wanted someone. Wanted someone to touch, to kiss, to fuck. Someone willing to be under him.

How could you not? When he treats you like he cares for your, makes you feel like you’re the only person he has his eyes on. Like you’re the only one he holds at night, calling you pretty names while he fucks you into oblivion.

When he’s pounding into you, you can’t help but wish that you were the only one he would do this to. With his hand on the base of your neck, your legs wrapped around his slim waist. The pleasure is building up, a knot winding up so tightly in the pit of your stomach that you can’t help but whine his name into the open air, can’t help but claw at his back, holding his shoulders for dear life.

One of your hands finds his hair, tangling in the black strands and pulling a pretty whine from his lips.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” his head falls into the crook of your neck, inhaling deeply and placing light kisses into your sweaty skin. “Do that again.” You do, your back arching into him and your walls fluttering around his cock when he thrusts into you even faster.

You let your eyes flutter shut again, taking everything he gives you in this moment, knowing that when it’s over, you’ll have to leave again. Pretend that he never touched you, never fucked you, never convinced you that maybe…maybe you could be something more.

He’s watching you, his eyes tracing your naked body as you lay beside him. Neither of you is saying anything, just letting the silence wash over you. Jeonghan wonders what you’re thinking. You’re quiet. Too quiet, your breaths making hardly any noise in the silence of his bedroom.

It’s sudden when you get up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and gathering your scattered clothing items. Jeonghan checks the time on his phone. 3:07AM. He gnaws on his lip, his brows furrowing.

“You should…” Stay. You should stay with me. Stay with me forever, love me the way I love you. “You should get going.” He watches your body stiffen, and a lump begins to form in his throat. “Don’t want anyone finding out, y’know?”

“Yeah. I know.” You tug your shirt over your head, searching for the slippers you’d worn over. You refuse to look at him. You keep your eyes on the ground, but he can tell by the shaking in your hands that you’re upset. “Can’t have anyone thinking you care about me. What a scandal.”

“Sweetheart,” Jeonghan sighs and sits up, leaning against the headboard of his bed. “You know that isn’t what I meant.” You look at him, finally, and shrug.

“Sure it isn’t. I was just joking.” He knows that’s not true. Knows that you’re more hurt than you’re letting on.

“Come here,” he beckons you toward him, but you hesitate. “Sweetheart, come here.” You do, and he leans forward to grab your hand and pull you toward him until you’re sat on his lap, only separated by your thin shorts and his duvet. Jeonghan runs his hands up and down your sides, squeezing lightly at your hips. Your hands are resting on his chest, and you’re refusing to look at him again.

His hand comes up to your chin, grabbing it between his thumb and pointer finger and forcing you to look at him. There’s a tiredness in your eyes, beyond the late hour and the…activities you’d participated in not thirty minutes prior. It scares him.

“You know I care about you.” A kiss is pressed to your lips, featherlight but enough to have your eyes fluttering shut and waiting for more. So he gives you what you want. His kiss becomes heavier, but stays slow and patient. His tongue runs across your lip, and he waits for your lips to part before he pulls away, teasing you just a little. “I’m sorry if it seems like I don’t.”

He watches you nod and pulls you into him, your head now resting in the crook of his neck and his arms wrapped around your waist. He stays like that for a few moments, cherishing the time he gets to hold you, to pretend that you’re his and no one else can have you.

The scorn-filled looks you receive from him the second you enter the lecture hall has your throat tightening and your eyes watering. You listen to the way his new fling flirts with him, mocks you, and throws herself all over him. He responds to the comments, though disinterested, with equal amounts of mockery. He makes a fool of you, and his friends just watch and listen with looks of utter confusion, as if they hadn’t seen him kissing you and holding you with absolute infatuation in his eyes.

“Hey,” you flinch when Seungcheol takes a seat next to you.

“Hi…?” You can feel a set of eyes burning into the side of your head and know Jeonghan is glaring at the two of you from across the room.

“Are you and Jeonghan okay?” Your body stiffens, and Seungcheol frowns. Your professor enters the hall at that moment, and you expect the taller, muscular man to get up and head over to his friends.

But he doesn’t.

He sits with you, waiting for you to respond to him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You stare straight ahead, trying to listen to the older man at the front of the room talk, but it’s hard when Seungcheol is staring down at you.

“Y/N,” he speaks quietly now. “Aren’t you two a…thing?” He’s even questioning himself, and you can’t help the scoff that leaves your lips, louder than expected.

“You really think I would willingly be with him?” You’re upset. Seungcheol can tell, and you know it frustrates him just as much as it frustrates you.

“You don’t have to lie to me.” Seuncheol nudges you with his elbow. “You don’t have to lie to any of us. Everyone already knows. It’s just the two of you that don’t want to admit it.”

“I don’t have anything to admit.” You lie. “We aren’t together. We aren’t dating. We aren’t a thing.”

Seungcheol frowns, and even you know that you’re trying to convince yourself more than him.

“Seungcheol,” you flinch when you hear Jeonghan’s voice approaching the two of you after class. He’s walking towards the two of you, his new girl draped under his arm. He’s glaring at the two of you, his gaze only hardening when you meet his eye. “What are you doing with this…thing.” He sneers at you, and your gaze drops to the ground.

Thing. Jeonghan sees you as a thing. An object. He didn’t call you a freak, or a bitch, or a nerd. He called you a thing as if you weren’t even worthy enough to be considered a person. Like you were some second-rate object that’s been used and tossed aside over and over again.

“Don’t call her that, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol snaps, stepping in front of you. “She isn’t a goddamn object. She’s a person, one you’re being a piece of shit to for no reason.”

“Oh please,” Jeonghan scoffs. “You really think I don’t have a reason?” He takes a step forward, and so does Seungcheol. He looks tiny compared to the other man, smaller in stature and build. But he stands his ground, confidence radiating from his body. The girl behind Jeonghan begins whining, tugging at his arm until the dark-haired man snaps at her and waves her away. She scoffs, glaring at him and then at you before stalking away.

“I’m getting real sick of your shit, Jeonghan.” Seungcheol hisses. “And so is she.”

“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Jeonghan’s eyes flick to you, an unknown emotion filling them before he’s looking back at his friend. “What kind of bullshit has she put you on now?”

“Don’t play stupid with me, Han.” Seungcheol leans down to his friend, whispering something that you can’t hear, but you can see a bit of panic in Jeonghan’s eyes before it’s replaced by annoyance. “You understand me?”

“Loud and clear.”

It was hours later when you hear from Jeonghan. Hours later when you get the weak apology text, and him telling you that he’d meet you in front of your dorm to bring you to the party that night. You almost text him back to tell him you wouldn’t be going. That you felt sick and he should just go and have fun with his friends. With the girl he’d been with. But you don’t. You can’t bring yourself to lie to him, even when he does it every day.

Truthfully, you don’t understand him. Don’t understand why he feels the need to lie to you and to everyone around you. The burning feeling inside of you, the knowledge that you never come first in his life no matter what he tells you when you’re together. No matter how he tries to convince you that you were the one he wanted. That you were the one he cared about, not the girls you see him with every other week.

“You’re thinking.” Jeonghan glances at you out of the corner of his eye, scanning your face and your body. He watches the way you tug your dress down, sliding the straps just a little further up your shoulder. You look over at him and shrug.

“I’m not. Look at the road.” He scoffs, but listens to you nonetheless.

“You make it sound like I don’t know you, sweetheart.” But you don’t. You want to scream. You want to tell him everything that’s been on your mind these past few weeks. But the look in his eye, the genuine concern…it stops you. You know, or you think you know, that he cares about you. That he wants you to be okay.

“I said I’m fine, Hannie.” You can hear the pounding music down the road and start to unbuckle your seatbelt. “Stop the car.”

“What?” You look at him, your eyebrows coming together.

“I need to get out, remember? Before anyone can see me?” Another scoff from him. “What are you scoffing at?”

“Why would I drop you off down the road? We can walk together.”

“But why— you never want us to be seen together.” You can see him sink in on himself. He pulls the car over, and you stare up at the house. Maybe this is what he wants. He wants to lead you on, to show you to people as if he wants to be with you and then dump you on the ground again by the end of the night.

You flinch when he opens your door, holding a hand out for you to take. You can see people lingering on the front lawn, watching you and talking to each other. You don’t know what they’re saying. Don’t want to know. His hand is warm in your own, and you find yourself easily slipping into the rhythm of being his again, just for a few hours. Just for the night, and then everything will go back to the way it should be. The way he wants it to be.

“Let’s go, sweetheart.” Jeonghan’s smile is warm, but you don’t return it. You tug your skirt down your legs, your free hand shaking while you’re led up to the front door.

He knocks, his eyes moving to your figure while he waits for the host to open up.

The door swings open. You drop Jeonghan’s hand before the host notices, stepping away when the two men greet each other. You slip inside without either of them noticing, and disappear to a corner of the room where none of his friends would notice you.

You begin to mingle. You begin to talk to people you know, talk to people you’ve never seen before. You begin to grow comfortable, but never fully. Not when you can feel Jeonghan’s eyes on you the whole night. Not when you can see him standing with his friends with a cold glare on his face. Anger, maybe. Never jealousy. Not from him.

He attempted to approach you a few times, but you were quick to slip away from him. You were quick to avoid his attempts at talking to you, at insulting you or getting too close. You avoided him altogether, if possible. But it was getting harder. He was popping up out of nowhere, trying desperately to get you to stop for just a moment.

“Sweetheart,” he approaches you again, when you’re leaving the bathroom. Your eyes go wide, and you try to squeeze by him again. He takes a deep breath, his jaw clenching before he shoves you back into the tiny room, locking the door behind him.

“Jeonghan, what are you doing?” You hiss, trying to push past him again but he catches you by the arm and presses his lips harshly against your own. He kisses you hard, nearly knocking you over from the force of it and causing your arms to fly up, using his shoulders to stabilize your body. Everything inside of you, every thought and every beat of your heart, screams at you to shove him away from you. Everything about this sets off alarms in your brain, but you shut them down. You let him kiss you. You let him sweep you off your feet again, let him empty any thoughts you might have had of pushing him away.

When you pull away, your heart pounding and your breathing labored, he doesn’t let you go far. He doesn’t let you pull out of his grip and escape around him. Not yet. Not when he has so much to tell you.

“Why are you doing this?” His eyes go wide at your question. At the tears that begin to pool in your eyes.

“What?”

“Why do you…Why do you do these things? You— you tell me that you hate me. You can’t even consider me a person in front of your friends or— or anyone at these fucking parties or at school. You pretend I mean nothing to you, treat me like this side piece that comes to you at every beck and call. And then— and then when we’re alone you act like you actually care about me. Why, Jeonghan?”

The tears are spilling down your cheeks. He watches them fall. Watches them slip under your chin and down your neck and all he wants to do is wipe them away but he feels like he’s frozen in place.

“I don’t— I do care about you, sweetheart. You know I do!” He reaches for you, tries to take your other hand in his, but you pull away.

“No, I don’t.” You shake your head, flinching when a knock sounds at the door. “I don’t know shit, Jeonghan.”

“What— what do I have to do to get you to believe me?” He begs, his voice trembling just like yours. He can’t lose you. Not like this. Not yet. “You— do you want me to— to yell it out for the world to hear? Do you want me to drop Eun-bi? What. Tell me what you want and I’ll do it for you.” He’s on his knees, and you stand about him with a look nearing heartbreak.

“No, you won’t, Hannie.” Your voice cracks and you watch as the realization hits him. That you’ve hit your breaking point. “You won’t do any of that. You know why?”

“Why, sweetheart.”

“Because you don’t love me.” His heart shatters. He’s sure you can hear it cracking into millions of pieces. “Not in the way you think you do. Not in the way I want you to.”

“So…so what? This is it?” You take a deep breath, looking away from him. He’s on his feet again, reaching for you and forcing you to look at him. “You’re just gonna leave? Just like that? You’re not even going to give me a chance?”

“I’ve given you chances,” you snap, jerking out of his grip. “I’ve given you far more chances than I should have.”

“You don’t mean this.” He scoffs.

“I do, Jeonghan.” You look him in the eye, far angrier than you had been moments ago. “I’m done trying. I’m done trying to get you to love me how I love you. I’m just…I’m so tired.”

This time when you step away from him, he lets you leave. He lets you unlock the door and open it gently. He watches you hesitate, waiting for him to say something, anything. Wait for him to stop you.

He doesn’t.

He watches you leave.

Oops! I'm losing again

Even if you take it slowly, I want you to reach me

Falling in

TAGLIST: @stfuayu

#itsbeeble #itsbeeble masterlist #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop angst #kpop smut #seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen smut #yoon jeonghan #seventeen x reader #yoon jeonghan imagines #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan x reader

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mulders-too-large-shirt · 6 months ago

Text

s3 episode 23 thoughts

the previous episode was SO good. but, it is true, i was distracted by the dog. it was SUCH!! a perfect episode. EXCEPT for that one thing. so i hope that today, i can face this episode with a clear head, free of judgement based on the fate of little dogs.

well, boy, i did face this episode with a clear mind, and wow. wowza. another AMAZING ep... and i will keep the angst from this episode in my heart forever and bottle it and take a nice long swig when i need my msr feels, which is basically always. wow. an exclamation point doesn't even feel APPROPRIATE, it just needs to hang in the air for a bit. (wiping tears away) wow....

let us go back to yesterday's notes, which shall commence below:

reading the episode description... so this one features murders linked to a device that alters television signals… huh. man, too many people i know don’t even have cable anymore. this simply would not work in the modern era. imagine if hulu or tubi or something made you kill people though lmao that would be silly to imagine.

we open with a guy digging a hole in the woods. always a promising start. seems he’s in an orchard of some sort? and the music is very very creepy.

okay, so just as you suspect, this dude is burying a dead guy. sometimes your gut instinct is correct and tropes are not meant to be subverted. but the dude who is burying him says “your killing days are OVER” so is this actually a justice arc??? hmm. it is not clear. man, it would be hard to dig a hole like that.

shovel murder man is at home washing the blood off. but then someone else approaches him and he kills THAT GUY TOO WITH THE SHOVEL?? huh? what is going on.

police at da guy’s house. everyone has the same face as the dude he just killed??? so they tase him. and then the faces go back to their REAL faces. now what is going on here!!!!!!!!!!

as the real faces return, the man realizes he killed someone named sarah!!! and he seems sooo upset by the fact that he killed sarah!!!! poor sarah :(

so does the tv make you see other people’s faces on the bodies of random people….? omg that’s insidious...

we now shift to a different scene, one where mulder is sitting in his car at 2 am. doing what???? waiting for some guy!!! he was waiting TWO HOURS for this guy!!! who is this guy...? it's giving blind date/drug deal.

the man who enters his car gives him a newspaper clipping about the murders we just saw. and mulder came here after getting AN ANONYMOUS EMAIL in the middle of the night??? this is crazy because literally so many people want him dead and this would have been a very easy way to accomplish that goal. wow. seriously, no self-preservation instincts on this guy.

mystery man says he has no obligation to explain what is going on, but if mulder walks away from it, more people will die. so no pressure!! xx

cutscene to a hospital, where mulder is watching our murderer through glass, while scully comes in saying that she is sorry she is late, but “the beltway was a parking lot”. beltway refers to interstate 495! thank you wikipedia i love your services!

murderer is named joseph. and he claims to have been killing the same guy over and over again, and that he wouldn’t die. which seems pretty awful.

OH! and the week before, in the same town, a babysitter attacked the kids she was watching because she thought they were WOLVES??? omg that is horrific??

they’re talking to the physician, dr. stroman, who says perhaps this was provoked by amphetamine abuse. then joseph starts SCREAMING. he sees a guy on the TV- miriskovic- sorry y’all idk my post-soviet history 💔 (update: i googled it, i don't even think that guy was real because all the results are links to wikis on this specific episode... reveals how little i truly know)

anyway, seeing that guy's face on the TV seems to have triggered the screaming situation. does he have trauma from the country he used to live in and seeing references to it makes these things happen…? that would be a wild episode. put me in the writer's room and let me cook.

scully quickly picks up on the fact that this case is Weird, and mulder admits it came from some random guy, which makes her suspicious. but they go to the crime scene, and, like always, he lifts the crime scene tape up over her head, and it’s very charming despite the lack of sensibility in going down this whole rabbit hole.

the minute they get in, they hear screaming and a gunshot! but it’s just some kids watching TV??? eating popcorn in a crime scene??? LMAO WHAT?

mulder kicks them out and scruffs one of the boy’s heads... ohhhh he needs to be a father so bad huh... like i have been saying this since s1 he just has a Need to tease and spoil children. well, we can unpack that another time. there's crime afoot.

so he watches the tv and it starts to go all static-y because a guy outside is fixing the wires. scully finds a TON of tapes and they’re just shelves and shelves of cable TV shows!!!

“there must be hundreds of videos here”, she says, to which he asks “anything good?” <- idk why this made me giggle. it sounded like he was gonna put one in and chill for a bit lmao

scully starts to wonder if seeing the cable news, like joseph had recorded, was what triggered his episode back at the hospital. ooooh! a theory!!!

cut to mulder watching a tape in the bed of his motel, making an absolute pile of sunflower seeds- this dude is gonna attract mice or something someday omfg- and also he has a cola which is peak american culture. LMAOOOO he has a HUGE pile of tapes on the floor i’m crying... my type A self could NOT deal with him!

he says he watched 36 hours of bernard shaw and bobbi batista and is now also ready to kill someone as scully welcomes him into her room, which also has cola but is much more nicely organized! she found something weird on the tapes from late april, each a night when he committed a murder

AND WHY DID MULDER GET ALL COZIED UP ON HER COUCH?????? hooooooly fuck i have never seen such a baby girl of a man

OMFG??? all the reports from the murder nights feature that miriskovic guy!!!

so did seeing violence make him violent? mulder says no, and that theory assumes that “americans are just empty vessels, ready to be filled with any idea or image that’s fed to them like a bunch of pavlov dogs, and go out and act on it” oh if only this man could see the news lately……… insert ben affleck smoking a cigarette image here to describe the things we see in our current age. mulder you would not believe.

he’s really bashing her theory, but she’s saying maybe he was high and seeing these things sent him on a spiral- makes sense to me

he is leaving to go get some sleep (after admitting he can’t explain what is going on!!! which always endears me) but scully says she is going to watch the rest of the tapes… a herculean task for our girl

middle of the night and it’s still tape time for scully, but she hears the phone ringing. she hears mulder having a conversation. and he says “no, she doesn’t” which is weird… that is suspicious… what doesn't she...

scully chews her ice which is so funny because me too sometimes. she has chewed all of her ice and must fetch more. and get a cola ofc!!! nothing more american than a cold soda iktr!

but she sees mulder in his car??? lighting up with cig man???? HUH??? and handing over a tape? omfg this is crazy. i assume she is hallucinating though, because no way….

cutscene to a lady named helene watching “the price is nice” (lmaooo) and washing some dishes. but the soap in the dishes starts to look funny- and everything is glitching around her!!! she sees a man outside in a hammock… kissing a woman!!! and oh, she is furious!! she gets her SHOTGUN?? this has escalated very fast. and we hear some shooting!!!

scully is still very visibly disturbed. mulder is reporting the murder, but she seems like a shell of herself. she checks the ash tray in the car, and there is no ash… she notices the car has been moved and he says he got a paper…. why do you ask…. “nothing. it’s nothing” OHHH THIS IS JUICY

so the crime scene has a very bloody hammock. and a dead man, who the wife claims he saw in the hammock with a blonde. but the only other creature at the scene was a dog!!!

OH!!! the hammock man wasn’t even helene's HUSBAND??? this really is LAYERED!! she killed the NEIGHBOR thinking it was her husband, who wasn’t even in town!!!!!! how do you mess this up so badly?

despite the fact that scully is clearly suspicious of mulder, she is sharing the umbrella with him in their usual fashion, and the sense of tension this produces is delicious

they go to investigate the crime scene and mulder finds some sort of bike and immediately climbs upon it while proclaiming that television does NOT cause violence (LMAOOO HE IS SO WEIRD i need him.)

they find a bunch more tapes and AGAIN the same guy is messing with the cables outside while they're investigating!!!! mulder is in chase mode!!!! but he cannot chase this dude in the van!!! no man, even a track star such as him, can outrun a van carrying secrets!

scully is trying to fast forward the TV and she looks out to see mulder climbing the pole…. average day for a man like him. he finds a weird cable scrambler in there. she wants to send it to the crime lab, but he says he’ll do the analysis, and she should go interview helene the murderer. OH... she is so suspicious, she just wants to go home…. scully :((( mulder is deeply confused as to why she is being so weird

so he takes the thingy to the lone gunmen, who say it looks like it’s used for blocking premium cable channels, which i didn’t even know was a thing, you learn so much with this show. but it doesn’t block anything!!! HOWEVER, if you compare a tv with the machine and one without it, the one with the machine is slightly different. hmm...

“you know how television works?” “yeah, you click it on, you have a picture” <- the man who said that line went to oxford btw

it seems that this cable blocker thingy is adding some sort of frequency, but they can’t tell what… hmm.

mulder on the road. scully calls and only asks “where are you” in this very flat and creepy tone and OH i’m scared!!!!

he tries to explain that there is some sort of signal being introduced to the tv- he even says she might be right about the tv inducing violence theory! but she isn’t answering… she hears a clicking, like they're being listened to, and she says he never went to the detective…. let’s wait and talk on a landline, he says.

despite being in his car many miles away, he can tell that there is something very wrong with scully. he says don’t go anywhere, he’ll be right there, and redials after she hangs up. it's very much echoing when she said something similar to him in his crazed gargoyle quest.

but she is so scared, she rips the phone out of the wall and takes it apart!!!! and then the lamp too, and the table. she is checking everything for any sort of bugs!

holy hell, we have never seen her like this before... but i’m actually gagged because she is usually relatively stoic and seeing her paranoid is so different, but it also feels very natural??? she is acting her ass off here as she rips up everything in this motel room. big shoutout to GA, i love your work.

and the static that set in helene's vision earlier is setting in hers now!!! she hears a car pull up and drops to the floor…. she hears a man say “she’s in here” and a pounding on the door.

OMFG someone tries to open the door and she FIRES 4 SHOTS RIGHT AWAY??? but it’s mulder!!!!

(author's note: i was thinking after i finished the episode, and we know that she is a good shot- remember how she hit just the right angle to knock mulder out but not kill him at the end of s2? so she is either SO out of it that she cannot even aim straight, or there is a tiny tiny tiny part of her that still thinks that mulder isn't worth killing. please mull over which option brings you greater angst)

he’s coming in with his gun and his hair is blowing in the wind and he can’t FIND HER!!!!! it was really very dramatic. hair blowing in the wind has this effect.

cutscene to scully’s mom’s house, and we see a picture of young scully on the table... AWW stop she’s so cuuuute and one of missy as well 😭😭😭

OH! it’s mulder on the phone calling mrs. scully in the middle of the night!!! NOOOO he has to tell her that he doesn’t know where she is :( NOOOO poor mrs. scully has gone through too much. he feels SO bad breaking this news, that he even apologizes for hanging up right away, something he never ever does. he must be in deeeep distress to do such a thing.

and why does he hang up?? because SKINNER IS HERE!!! he’s leading a manhunt for scully, and mulder is saying she shouldn’t be hunted like a convict… but skinner says dude SHE FIRED FOUR ROUNDS AT YOU AND SOME RANDOM GUY last night!!!!

despite this, mulder insists that he can get her to listen to him if they just keep her safe; she’s suffering from some sort of paranoid psychosis. skinner is being quite patient as he tries to explain that the video tapes made her do it. skinner says well... you better find her before these guys do.

GASP!!! he’s putting up the x on his window! and doing that thing where he bounces his basketball because he cannot relax!!! stop i'm emotional!!!!!

the lone gunmen call to say they found something on the tape…. and it induces electrical activity…. MIND CONTROL???

but why wasn’t he effected?

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! HE’S RED-GREEN COLORBLIND???? THIS IS AN INSANE LORE DROP TO GIVE NEARLY 4 SEASONS IN??????

wait, is this just for plot purposes, or is DD actually colorblind and they decided to roll with it? because now i’m gonna be looking at all the red-ish things we see on screen (like his tie he is grabbing to emphasize his point) and wonder, can he see that? how does this impact his tie selection process....

okay that really threw me off guard. man, i was getting to think we'd never get another lore reveal, which is a shame because i quite like formatting those facts in that way. good to know we could get more at anytime!

he gets a phone call from maryland state police. the lone gunmen ask if she’s okay and he says no, he has to go and ID the body. WHAT!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!! he is trying to keep composed. holy fuck………..

(heavy breathing as i grab your shoulder and squeeze) hey man. hey. he was trying so hard to be strong.

so he pulls up to the morgue and stops before he gets out of the car, and holds his head above the wheel STOP I’LL CRY???? i’ll cry… what are they putting him through??? losing her again……..

(i mean i have SEEN gifs of scully in seasons past this one, so i know she's gonna pull through, but HE doesn't know that, and must be reliving the worst days of his life AGAIN, and aughhhhh!)

but the mystery guy from the start of the episode that give him the info on the muders pulls up and says get in right now!!!!!! mulder is furious, he says he’s busy. in a shocking display of insensitivity, mystery man says he does not give a fuck. mulder is yelling that this is all his fault. mystery man says “they” are destroying the evidence, and they’ll finish it by tomorrow if he keeps searching for her, but he kicks the door shut and ignores him.

(omg…. he loves her enough to break him out of his bloodhound mode… the dogged ahab-like quest for answers and revenge… i’m getting flashbacks to his conversation with missy in one breath…….. realizing he needs to put the ones he loves before his need for revenge sometimes..... wow)

so he walks into the morgue, and the dude in there says they found a body nude and shot in the forehead.

he closes his eyes to try and brace himself before taking a peek, to prepare to see her lifeless, probably reliving those many hours by her bedside when she was in the hospital, trying to imagine her shot in the forehead, the scully he knows and loves with her dry humor and her teasing smile and caffeine dependency, the her that is so full of life, lifeless…

but it isn’t her. PHEW!

despite this being good news that he has to share- she's not dead! her mother isn’t answering her phone…. so he goes to her house. and i'm thinking, oh my gosh, did she do something rash in her grief?

but mrs. scully answers the door and claims dana isn’t here. he bursts in and says he needs to see her right now. omg, he saw right through her lies.

(also, it always feels weird to refer to her as dana, but moving on)

NO!!!! she has him at gunpoint and says he’s here to kill him!!! poor guy looks so flabbergasted… and her mom is trying to get her to please put down the gun, and he’s trying to explain what is going on!!! he is so singularly locked into her….

“he’s lied to me from the beginning. he’s never trusted me” “scully, you are the only one i trust” AUGHHHHH (rips my clothes off of my body in biblical levels of grief)

“you’re one of the people who abducted me” AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (rips off not only my clothing but also my hair as i experience emotions that rival what job from the bible went through)

she’s CRYING, and saying he killed her sister while her mom gets between him and the gun… and she’s saying she knows she’s safe here, that’s why she came here, and to put the gun down. and she falls into her mother’s arms sobbing.

WHAAAAAAAAT. and he had to watch all that… oh my scully oh my goodness my poor scully…

timeskip a little bit. he shows up to the hospital where scully is with her mother, and mockingly puts his hands up in surrender, because he is so STUPID and he always has to make a joke, and i love him so terribly, so so so terribly, because he loves HER.

she's laying in the bed, and he shuts off the tv and asks how she’s feeling. she says she is ASHAMED- as if being a victim of mind control was a personal failing. scully, i want to yell, you have NO REASON to be ashamed, let me take all the shame from you and carry it elsewhere. she says it was like the world was turned upside down.

and he makes ANOTHER stupid joke about the world being out to get him, and now she knows how he feels-

before leaning in and explaining how joseph, the first murderer on this case, became convinced he was killing the bosnian war criminal who people called “the modern hitler”, which was especially important to him because both of his parents survived the holocaust. hence his line about the killing days being over!!!

and helene was scared her husband would cheat on her. so somehow the TV signal turned their worst fears into a living nightmare.

OHHHH HER WORST NIGHTMARE IS HIM BETRAYING HER. HIM BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR HER GOING MISSING AND LOSING HER AUTONOMY AND MEMORIES... wails into my shirt.

(this reminds me of that episode in s2- irresistible- when we learn her biggest fear is that humans are capable of terrible horrific things and grasping to trust despite that knowledge. we’re seeing that again right here. how uncertainty seeps in)

THEY CALL HIM THE CANCER MAN!!! wow very official canon recognition of the name (yeah it’s happened before but it happened again so that is cool) anyway she says she saw him giving cancer man the tapes and reporting.

he says that maybe cancer man was behind this, but then he whispers “why don’t you try and get some rest?” and there is something in me that melts so entirely as he leaves her to sleep.

(perhaps it is the fact that hurt/comfort and whump are my favorite tropes. because is there anything more intimate than letting someone see you at your most vulnerable, and them choosing to love you at it? is there any feeling more cutting than seeing your loved one suffer and knowing you’d stop the world for an instant of their relief? the terrible desperation of both parties, the wordless connection upon recovery, someone being the last thing you see before everything fades to black and then the first person you see when you return... yeah. it’s cathartic. but also it makes me want to yell and cry. pls give me all the hurt/comfort content)

so the doctor found high serotonin levels in her that maybe can be associated with mania, but now they’re back to normal. he asks if someone in her situation would be diagnosed with amphetamine abuse, and she says no. then he quickly calls the hospital where joseph is staying… what is he cooking in there…

he wants to talk to joseph's doctor, dr. stroman, who left behind only a number from the motel…. and he had JUST checked out…. so he’s going through his stuff. and asking about his calls. and he DOES find a cigarette in his room but a lot of people smoke so… try not to jump to conclusions juni… but the cigarettes mean one thing in this show!!! was this innocent-looking doctor behind such a cruel experiment?!

he calls and has the last number the doctor called get checked from the folks at the lab… so he goes to visit the place of residence and creepy music is playing. the dude from the cable company we saw before rolls up!!! he walks right inside the house, so mulder peeks inside. it seems the people in the house set up a trap of some sort, as they are talking about “him” showing up at 7.

he bursts in after hearing gunshots and both of the men in there are dead!!! shot in the head!!!!

who is there... but X???? X says he HAD to kill those men- he just hoped mulder would get them first. and oh, mulder is YELLING AT X!!! he is letting him HAVE IT!!! he says he is a coward, he was too scared to unveil the situation with the mind control TV murders himself….. he says X NEVER risks his own life, but he sure does make him risk mulder and scully’s.

OH! he is holding X at gunpoint. all X is saying is that he failed, and that mulder needs him. so he walks out, confident he won't pull the trigger. and he doesn't.

WHAT! i need to kind of just let that sit for a second. i need to figure out this X fellow, but i get the sense i never will…. he failed… because he chose to try and save scully…….

cutscene to skinner’s office, where mulder is giving him a report. and scully walks in and says that dr. stroman DIED IN 1978!!! when skinner asks about the killer, mulder jumps in and says he remains unknown… oh, skinner is def gonna pick up on that….

so now we see X in a random back alley. getting into a car…. WITH CANCER MAN?????? X REPORTS TO CANCER MAN??? he asks if he has completed his work, and X reports that he has cleaned out all the personnel, everything is removed, but mulder still has a device. and mulder’s source has been eliminated. but the source’s source remains unknown. oh, he’s def lying through his teeth.

OOOOOOH this episode was SO good.

oh man, my brain is racing in a bunch of different directions. scully breaking down and sobbing into her mother’s arms…. scully convinced that mulder is a traitor, that he did those terrible things to her…. mulder so scared that she was gone, bouncing his basketball, getting a call from the police department that he had to go identify her… choosing her, even in what he thought was death, over following the Truth… the sick and twisted relationship he has with X, and X with Cancer Man, and Cancer Man with the world… it’s making me think of how mulder broke into his house that one time, was going to kill him over what he did to scully, and cancer man had the nerve to say he liked mulder… OOOH my brain is just racing racing racing.

poor scully… how scared she was, how horrified afterward…

other things that are on my mind, in no particular order: the bond between scully and her mother; mulder being all babygirl on that couch; mulder hopping on that bicycle and picking up some random doll from the murder victim's house; how haunting scully's voice was when she asked him over the phone where he was; their cola drinking; mrs. scully trusting mulder no matter what; how he tried to cover the grief in his voice when he told the lone gunmen he had to go identify her body; how he kicked the door shut of the mystery man, damning the investigation to pay his respects; how his head hovered above the wheel of the car before he got out to do that; how X uses and uses him to no clear end, and what is HE doing reporting to cig man, and what was that random doctor doing conducted fucked up experiments on random people; and scully's miraculously bad aim; mulder's conviction he could talk sense into her (spoiler: he could not); her shame at being convinced he had been the one who abducted her; how terrifying that must have been; and his stupid jokes when he walked into her hospital room, with the sincerity he tries so hard to outrun and outfox breaking through in his whispered why don't you get some rest?

so needless to say, i see why this one is a fan-favorite. this is certainly one i will be revisiting in the future when i need something strong. i have a million things to think over that will stick with me Forever, and i am in no rush to move on from this. in fact, i took these notes yesterday, but in the process of editing them tonight, i have decided i am not ready for the season finale and will have to save it for tomorrow because i'm still feeling So Many Things. so stay tuned to see how that goes, because whew!

#man i did all the typing of the notes yesterday but editing them took another hour today because RAHHHHH there was so much here to unpack #and i am going to KEEP unpacking it for a while #someone please give that man a child it is becoming increasingly evident he loves being around kids #let's get him to talk about his feelings first and then he can have a baby okay? one thing at a time #OHHH WHAT is this X fellow UP TO?!?!? AUGHHH i need to know #scully. my poor poor poor sweet scully. you deserve no pain and yet such pain has been inflicted upon you.#and her poor mother :( she is just the sweetest :( the pictures of dana and missy on her bedside table...#she is so loved :( and she loves mulder too which is so important :(#WAHHHH <- more crying!!!#so good. but in case you were wondering this still didn't bring actual tears to my eyes.#i guess that is just for poor little doggies getting eaten by beasts...#juni's x files liveblog #3x23 #the x files #txf

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jarofstyles · 1 year ago

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FICTOBER DAY 17- Does This Movie Really Scare You?

Here is something from the Skater Boirry universe hehehehehe

FICTOBER

Patreon

Warnings- idk if this needs it but I know some of y'all are afraid of haunted dolls so a movie w that is mentioned so dsfbsbakndbfask

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“Does this movie really scare you?” Y/N giggled, feeling Harry hide his face in her hair.

She had not at all anticipated her boyfriend being nervous about a movie about a haunted doll, but she was finding it a little comical. Harry was usually pretty nonchalant about things, wasn’t scared of much, so when she suggested they have a scary movie marathon for halloween instead of getting wasted, he was fine with it. They’d made some snacks and Harry had even bought her a cute halloween blanket- it had Sanrio characters in halloween costumes in it!- and conceded in the fight of wearing matching Halloween pajamas. He’d even let her post a photo, which was a win for her.

The first movie had been a documentary called Demon House, one from a paranormal investigator who had bought a seemingly possessed house. Harry had scoffed at some of the evidence they pulled, questioned the validity of others, and didn't seem to mind it. But when Annabell had been pulled up on the screen, he had been much more quiet.

“It’s not scary.” He scoffed. “It’s just creepy. Who the fuck likes dolls like thay anyways?” He froze for a second, looking to Y/N with an apprehensive look on his face. “For the love of god, please tell me you don’t have any hiding away that I’m going to be exposed to when we move in together.”

Y/N’s brain malfunctioned slightly at the mere mention of moving in together. It had been mentioned a few times but they were enjoying school currently, but she did always wish they lived together. For real this time. Sleepovers were great, but she’d do anything to wake up to his gentle humming and observation of her every day. Morning Harry was so soft and cuddly, she never got tired of it.

“I don’t. I was a stuffed animal type of girl, and barbies. I didn’t love the other dolls too much.” She put him out of his misery after snickering about it for a few seconds. “If it’s too scary, we can turn it off and watch another show or something. I don’t mind.”

“It’s not too scary for me, babe. I just think its’ stupid and the doll is creepy but you chose it. It’s all up to you tonight so, if you want to keep watching we can. I don’t mind either way.” He sniffed, grabbing a M&M she had mixed into the popcorn and popping it into his mouth.

Y/N knew what that meant. Grabbing the remote, she giggled as she turned it off and went to search for something else on the TV, squeaking when he pinched her side lightly and made her jerk. His hand grabbed the popcorn bowl before it could go flying, thankfully. “Oi! What the fuck was that for? I was just laughing!”

“Because you thought I was scared. I’m not.” He said adamantly. “We can turn it back on- I don’t mind. Don’t sit here and giggle like a little shit because you think I’m scared.”

Y/N could only laugh harder as he vehemently denied it, making it seem only more true in her head. “I know! Relax. I’m not gonna tell anyone.” She shook her head. “It’s fine. I have to grab more drinks anyways. Did you want a Coke or did you want water?” She asked, stretching her arms above her head.

“What I want is for you to stop that little grin.” He grumbled. “When we have kids, we are never allowing dolls into their rooms. Sorry.”

Y/N couldn’t help it now, a smile growing on her face as she paused to look at him. “Oh? First, we’re moving in… now we’re talking about kids?” She hummed, turning to kiss his cheek. “Is this on your mind a lot? Cause m’not about to let you knock me up for at least another 4 years.”

Harry groaned, cheeks heating up a delicious little pink that Y/N wanted to bite. His cheeks were bitable, after all. He leaning his head back on the couch, running a hand through his now messy hair. “Of course I’m thinking about it. But now you’re teasing me, so you can go get the drinks and when you come back, we can talk properly about it if you want. I’ve been bullied enough.”

#jarofstyles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfic #harry styles smut #harry writing #harry styles imagine #harry drabble #harry styles blurb #harry styles writing #skaterboy!harry #skater boi #skater harry styles #jarofstyles fictober 23 #jarofstyles fictober #Harry fluff #Harry styles fluff #Harry styles angst #Harry angst

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lxmelle · 4 months ago

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I have just been thinking about Sukuna’s 2 choices, since I came across some debate over it. It got me wondering…

Idk, I guess I just I felt the urge to write out my thoughts and it’s become this reflective piece about themes and the parallels that exist between some of the characters.

I think there are some salient themes in the series… namely, Pure Love and what it means to be human. JJK is really an incredibly thought-provoking masterpiece.

Please feel welcome to give it a read if you wish. And then you can make up your own mind - it’s totally ok to disagee.

Respectful Discourse welcome.

Spoilers for 271 and some overall thoughts about the end - I guess this is part 2!

And just a disclaimer: these are just my personal thoughts as a reader. Apologies if my tone forms across a bit blunt at times - I get a little bit overzealous.

First off, I guess souls are real after all. The afterlife is real. It’s mysterious, leaves you guessing, and I gather that it’s meant to be up for interpretation.

As a reader, we are allowed a glimpse of continuity for the characters we grieve for and miss dearly… like a “maybe next time...” or “maybe now they will be allowed happiness”.

For me, personally, it’s a relief because it means satosugu in the afterlife is real 🥹 the brainrot is also real

I digress. Sorry I do that a lot.

Sukuna was shown in an unknown realm, facing Mahito. He is alone at first with nobody else beside him.

As they talk, he recalls having had two paths he could’ve walked on relating to two individuals.

Most of us recognise Uraume immediately, in what was probably their original form. The other person dons what looks like a Miko/priestess outfit and a hairdo that is equally befitting of that role.

I personally think it’s Yorozu due to the defining features and relevance to Sukuna’s story. Other speculations have included his mother and Kenjaku or even Tengen.

Personally? I don’t think it’s his mum. And I don’t think it’s Kenjaku. Not Tengen either.

Just going to attempt to go through the options as a process of elimination here. Take it with a pinch of salt because it’s just an interpretation out of many out there.

First off… mother? Imho, it wouldn’t be a “choice” he could make if it was his mum - you can’t “choose” your mother. It’s not a path... his mentioning of her was apathetic at best and was in passing on the grand scheme of how he was depicted. He seemed to have sympathy for her due to the impoverished nature of her pregnancy, and while it is true that he could have benefitted from a much better childhood / parental circumstances, I don’t think, in the context of having choice of paths to traverse, it is relevant here for it to be his mother.

Second… Kenjaku. Well… He already chose a path with Kenjaku. That’s why he became cursed objects? He already took that path. And it diverged. There was no other possible attachment to Kenjaku. Kenjaku also already used his twin’s soul as a means to his own end, which Sukuna found gross. So yes. Not Kenjaku, imho. They were not friends nor did they have unfinished business to explore. They were a means to an end for one another, as far as i understand. It’s done.

Third: Tengen. Hmm, sorry but it isn’t plausible. The two were in their Heian form. Tengen was pictured to have had fair-coloured hair.

The most likely candidate is Yorozu. Imho, for what it’s worth. The timeline fits. She and Uraume lived in, and were pictured to have been around together, with Sukuna, at the same time in the Heian flashback.

In terms of appearance, too. Everyone there in that unknown realm is wearing something befitting.

The clothes from the era. Hairstyle - like that of a priestess or noble. It’s a woman. And Kenjaku’s defining feature are his stitches. Gege would be sure to emphasise them if it was Kenjaku. Dark hair, not Tengen. Unlikely to be his mum (never been pictured and it’s kinda too late to introduce someone new in the last chapter).

Most notably: The bangs. The bangs. The defining feature of Yorozu are her cropped & stylised bangs. When Yorozu incarnated in Tsumiki that was one of the things that was specifically defined.

Yorozu was strong. She was feared, revered and probably worshipped as a result. She may have had the priestess-like hairdo even if she was from a rural area and drawn to prefer being unconventionally-dressed undressed.

He recognised Yorozu’s presence and accepted her challenge. There was a promise that if he lost he would marry her. If he was dead he would be bound to her in a ritual. But he would never allow himself to willingly succumb to “love” or be bound to anyone in this lifetime. That was what he chose. So it seems logical to me that it was Yorozu is the one there in the image because there existed a choice with both options that he didn’t take in this lifetime. To love her and give her his solitude.

She saw his loneliness. She said it was love. She wanted to give him love. She wanted his solitude (so she said). She wanted him to witness the love that was in her flesh.

So for that reason I think she was equal to Uraume in terms of being a possible choice out of 2 choices that Sukuna could have chosen to walk a path with.

It’s perhaps only fair that I voice my reflections over Uraume.

With Uraume he allowed them to follow him and serve a function, respecting their skill & talent for preparing human flesh as well as a sorcerer. But the boundary of him showing emotion for Uraume was never crossed. It was always Uraume -> Kenjaku (feelings arrow).

For Sukuna in the afterlife to show more than an, “ah, I recognise you” (like he did in the manga) when Uraume appeared before him. Especially since in their incarnated life, when Uraume was injured by Gojo he barely flinched (in fact, he dodged). Plus, during the entirety of the final battle he spared no thought for Uraume.

I can easily headcanon that when he saw Uraume give up their life after he did, the thought of “to think you’d go so far for the likes of me.” For the first time, for Sukuna to acknowledge Uraume as a choice and to physically lead them to go with him, the feelings arrow is now Sukuna -> Uraume & Uraume <- Sukuna. It’s probably the first time Sukuna ever attached himself to anyone but himself.

And to conjure Uraume’s soul (as we recall from above: he was standing alone at first) and physically demonstrate that he was comforting / treasuring them / bringing them along with him - to me, this was him making a choice that he didn’t make in his lifetime.

Sukuna had a choice between love (to be witnessed) with Yorozu and pure love symbolised with sincerity & selflessness with Uraume.

These are THEMES IN JJK.

Like, there are obvious parallels here.

Gojo. Gojo and Geto’s shared solitude. Gojo wanted to be witnessed as a sorcerer. Geto too, in a way. Gojo wanted that big all-out fight that he could do with meaning in it where he could give it his all. He got it from Sukuna and lost.

Gojo wanted/embodied the loyalty and pure love - the only kind he ever got - from Geto. They were willing to sacrifice themselves for the other, for a shared reason. Someone who understood him. Accepted him. Someone he reciprocated these same feelings with. Gojo had embraced humanity.

They died on the same day, one year apart.

He arrived and sat there in the afterlife with his one and only.

His person, Geto, wept in the afterlife after being acknowledged by their beloved. This to me symbolises belonging and being found.

They died on the same day.

Parallels, Parallels, Parallels.

Sukuna had solitude. It was his own. Yorozu saw it and he accepted the battle & fought with Yorozu. The opposite to Gojo was experienced, where he witnessed Yorozu (just as Gojo was witnessed) and he won. He also continued to defeat and reign supreme, just by being the way he’s always been, as if confirming to himself it was the right choice after 1000s of years — and after all those battles, he was repeatedly shown what it was to be witnessed as a monster. At his end, he gave every single challenger his all & to be given what Yuji tried to give him... he rejected it and died (as he wished) when he lost. In his reflections on the afterlife, well, what do you know: he already had it with Uraume. He already had loyalty and pure love and someone to fight with him until the very end. Someone who understood him. Accepted him. (Sukuna would now attempt to embrace his humanity - kinda symbolised with his arm around Uraume).

They then died on the same day.

He arrived and walked off into the afterlife with Uraume.

His person, Uraume, wept in the afterlife after being acknowledged by their beloved. This to me symbolises belonging and being found.

——

So yeah, I get that “it’s possible” for it to be Kenjaku. It’s possible. Maybe. But... imho, he already chose that path. Kenjaku was the only one who knew how to create cursed objects. So who do you think gave consent for that to happen? Kenjaku already went down that path and reached the end... and that was what we saw.

As for other threads...

There are some salient themes like how sacrifice and meaning in life & death were portrayed as “leaving a legacy”. Take Yuki who told Choso to stop living as a curse and now live on as a human, dying in the process of getting the “back” of the prison realm from Kenjaku. It’s like Maki drawing a line under the massacre and living as a sorcerer. And take Kamo who was willing to die and “let his companions lives burn brightly on my ashes” because he didn’t think he had anyone to return home to. And take Geto who made sure Gojo pursued a better path and asked his family to run away after the parade. And take Gojo who believed the world was better off without him if they had a bunch of powerful allies who wouldn’t leave each other behind.

Sukuna lived a life with nobody to mourn him, but he at least had Uraume and Yuji used the last remaining fragment of him as a talisman.

So I think it’s fitting that he looked away from Mahito and carried on.

Mahito was the mirror for humanity. Sukuna faced that mirror. In this life, he was afraid that the curse as a wretched child would only continue, so he relied solely upon himself and it was imho like a retaliation of the cruelty of the world presented to him.

Sound familiar?

How someone who is human and turn? And the core of the other person was love, but the core of Sukuna was power/strength. Funny how they both were referred to as curses. Exorcised on 24th December.

Anyway, Sukuna was more human than he let himself believe, and he refused to stay with Mahito. Without needing to carry that self-imposed title any longer, having lost and died, he was free to choose something he never got to choose: love.

Symbolically, facing Mahito and the two choices facing away was an interesting choice too. And through the essence of what he was reflecting on, he pondered on a better life (with love?) that was facing away from Mahito, the symbol of hate and wrath.

Again: if Mahito was the mirror of hatred (facing Sukuna) then the other two with their backs to Mahito not only signifies past choices, but possible also love.

So we return to the theme of love. The opposite of hate is love. He was afraid of the curse as a wretched being/rejected/unwanted/hated that might immolate him. He wasn’t able to be anything else in this lifetime. He didn’t know how to. He was not willing to, with the element of fear over the risk of making that choice.

I tentatively interpret it as him not having necessarily embodying hate, but having apathy for connection, due to his blind acceptance that the world represented rejection and hate of him. He ended up being caught in a loop of deep-seated fear over his cursed existence - of thinking he was unwanted, and actively denied himself of any opportunity to absolve this belief. A vicious circle and self fulfilling prophecy of sorts. He just sought to dominate and communicate in a singular way through fighting.

And we know so well of the theme from the origins of jjk 0. Gojo’s anecdotal belief that Love is the most twisted curse. Love makes you weak. Sukuna was afraid to love. If there is a next time, it would be nice to choose pure love that wasn’t tied to being killed or killing or solitude that comes with strength. Just to be loved for who he was. Thus, Uraume over Yorozu.

Love, Attachment. What it means to be human. To taste that life means through feelings and emotions. With others as companions. Sukuna always had that capacity in him, as I kind of pointed out before. Albeit selectively, he offered objective praise and affirmation to others; acknowledging their efforts and seeing it as a form of “love” through wanting to prove their existence and challenging him, The Strongest. Seeing their efforts as “love” he gave it back to them in a safe way he knew that didn’t provide any emotional risk to him. A simple “I acknowledge you” was the extend of his love that was shared through fighting. This was probably a product of his life within the Heian times.

I’d like to think he was heading North to become someone new. He always had it in him after all. There were people who believed in him (Gojo, Yuji, Yorozu, Uraume) even if he didn’t believe in himself. It’s poetic and powerful personal / character development.

Speaking of souls; I found it somewhat interesting how curses have souls. Since, presumably, Mahito was presented as a soul? Or was this a part of Mahito’s CT as a cursed spirit who can touch souls? Hmm!

He should be a soul though, since he got absorbed by Kenjaku and should’ve been eliminated by Rika when they all ran amok in his death. The relevance of cursed spirits possibly having souls and having human-like features has always been at the back of my mind.

Gege inserted yet another moral dilemma for us to chew on: if humans and curses share the same traits and value: demonstrating individuality, emotions, hopes, dreams… then are Humans and Curses not so different after all? What of the 127 people Geto killed at the village? What of countless curses killed by sorcerers? Are they considered exorcisms? Sin is sin? Life is life? Karma is karma? Meaning is meaning?

This was already something I yapped about over direct and indirect harm, perspective/frame of reference being one of the biggest things we ought to appreciate in reading a piece of fiction like jjk. It’s so very true that there is no clear right or wrong, and this mimics real life.

Nevertheless, I personally think the overlapping themes, the parallels, the depth... they were all woven really well. I’ve enjoyed examining it.

Am I satisfied? Overall, yes.

Do I wish for more satosugu? Haha. I’m human. I’m greedy! 🤪 So pin that on me! I have been known to plead in jest that Gege will insert more stsg, and I say it while upholding utmost respect for him as an artist and writer. I... don’t think I feel the same respect or reverence for him as a creator when I read some of the comments against him. Criticism is one thing, but I wish people would keep it inoffensive. Even if it’s said in jest, sometimes it is just distasteful? Or even downright disrespectful...

Pieces of good fiction are meant to make you think. All things considered, this series ended rather gently. It was an overall happy end. Peaceful.

Even theoretically & logically: There are parallels with how the world was a cyclical system akin to the karmic cycle. Humans generate bad karma. In the series, karma is like curses. Those who practice the dharma can purify themselves. Sorcerers who can see them exorcise and purify the curses. So the “new world” was actually impossible unless humans were exorcised. And we know that’s not a plausible conclusion. So the real best option was what we got: peace and hope that the new generation of sorcerers can continue influencing a healthy cycle in the world they live in.

I’m not trying to minimise others’ interpretations of what happened and I’m sure all of us have things are are stuck with trying to digest.

As a creator, Gege can giveth and he can taketh.

Please have some gratitude for the person who created the very series that got you in the brainrot to begin with.

As difficult as it is, lean into what made you feel uncomfortable about what you’re dissatisfied with. It might not be about the author. He doesn’t owe you an ending you’re satisfied with. It’s his vision, so we have to process it in a way that makes sense in the lore.

Sometimes it’s referred to as: radical acceptance. We don’t have to agree. But we must find a way to come to terms with how we feel about it. Or not - but that’s on you. The onus is on you.

As a reader we should not be able to control how an author writes out their vision. I have been appalled by how toxic and entitled some “fans” are. Death threats, “when I catch you GG”, a petition for Gojo to be handled by someone else, etc.

Seriously. It’s one thing to have an outpouring of grief or dissatisfaction, but to react like that is just shameful and unhealthy. Do they really think Gege should give in?

Go write fanfiction, for goodness sake... :(

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dwindlinghaze · 2 years ago

Note

Hiii ur writing is sooo good

I was wondering if u could do a Remus x reader who is James sister and she falls for the first time she sees him and just like a fluff kinda thing idk but I was thinking and it sounds cute 🤷🏽

no worries if u don’t wanna write this but if u do thanks you write him so well 💗

hi!! tysm for requesting! i hope you like this! sending lots of love 🤍🌸🫧🪽

the light is coming

(remus lupin x potter!reader)

contents : fluff, pining

　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

"james! where are we going?" you squeezed his arms, leaving white prints on his skin.

"ow- we're going to meet my friends," james answered, pushing through the crowds in diagon alley.

"i've meet them before," you replied with a huff. you wanted to see them actually, since your pretty crush is a part of his friend group, but you weren't going to show it. playing it cool.

"but you've never met them," he emphasised.

it's true. just sharing smiles and waves when you passes them in the hallway. you were younger than them so your schedules were different.

"so... here's my sister!" james happily introduced you to his friends once you entered a coffee shop where his friends were.

"this is sirius," he pointed to the infamous hogwart's handsome boy with eyes so grey and cool. he wore a black leather jacket with shiny chains decorated within them.

you sent sirius an awkward smile. the thing is, you were scared of meeting them in person, face-to-face. not because they intimidated you, but because you were never really comfortable with the presence of men around you. you knew deep down that james' friends are friendly and fun but that fear doesn't go isolated.

"this is remus," james tilted his head to the boy standing closest to him. he wears a green coloured sweater, even though it's the summer. you noticed this of course, he never took his jumpers off. his hair was the perfect shade of golden blonde, eyes as green as a comet in the sky. he wore a macrame bracelet that his mom probably made for him.

he has a different aura. you actually might be comfortable with him overtime. his gaze so friendly and warm, despite his scruffy exterior. you thought you might actually blush when he sent you the prettiest smile known to men.

"and here's peter," james patted peter's shoulder. he was shorter than all of them. he seemed kind and polite. wearing an outdated cardigan with the edges a bit worn out.

"lovely to see you guys," you chuckled, sending a happy smile. and in return, you got warm greetings back.

"let's go to the quidditch store!" james announced, dragging you and sirius by the arms.

your brother and sirius were in a deep conversation about quidditch that you ncould never understand so you wiggle yourself out of his grasp. preferring to walk behind them along with remus and peter who were having a peaceful time admiring the wizardry architectures.

your pace slowed down, meeting with the two. a part of you also just wanted to be closer to remus. he welcomed you by smiling at you with the kindest eyes. leaving your heart hammering. maybe it was a bad idea to leave james 'cause now you're in this messy situation.

"hey," remus started softly, not wanting to scare you off. "how you're enjoying your summer?"

"hmm good, how about you?" you replied, finding it hard to create a complete sentence.

"it was fine, missing school though. wait- i meant friends- james sirius peter not like i'm a school-lover or anything," remus let out a nervous laugh, tips of his ears turning a shade of red.

"yeah i totally understand that. i miss my friends too," you smiled at him warmly. "did you do anything exciting?" you asked.

"no, not really. you?" he looked so focused at you to the point that you think you might disappear.

"uh i just.. went to the beach s'all, nothing really exciting. i guess when we grow older, the things we find exciting isn't much fun anymore," you shrugged, still keeping your eyes away from him.

a few seconds later, he pulled your shoulder to himself, making you gasp reluctantly. he did that so you wouldn't hit the person who was carrying a trolley. how convenient.

that simple gesture made your heart beaten twice as fast. your long time crush was holding you?

"oh i'm so so sorry," remus pulled his hand away, sending apologetic eyes. "i- i didn't want you to hit him so i pulled you, i'm so sorry!"

"that's okay remus, i appreciate what you did," you smiled softly. "can i call you that?" you asked.

"you can call me anything," he smiled.

you two bonded together overtime. he is becoming your best friend in the whole entire world.

he asks about your day. he opens doors for you. he asks what is your favourite breakfast menu were so he can save it for you. he pulls out chairs for you to sit.

"i've been seeing funky things about you and moony," james said one day.

"what funky things?"

"as if you two were in love...?" james quirked his eyebrows up.

"we're not," you huffed, feeling your ears turning warm.

james looked at you suspiciously, "y'know you can tell anything to me. i won't let remus knows that you're in love with him, promise."

"i'm not!," you defended. though you think you were.

"you are! i can see it. y'know i'm really glad it's remus who you've fallen for because he's a good guy. the only one i'd let you be in a relationship with."

"james stop that. i'm not in love with him, he wouldn't love me anyway."

"oh you're so wrong about that!" james said before he left you to his quidditch practice.

remus did everything right. starting from little things to big gestures like this one.

you were sitting on the grass besides the black lake with a carpet under you. seeing the waters shining and glimmering.

it has been a routine for the both of you to sit here every friday, talking about literally anything and everything.

surrounding you were pretty wild flowers, matching your florally dress that you wore today.

it would be a lie to say that remus wasn't in awe of your appearance. your hair were shining under the warm light of the sunset. everything was perfect today.

"is this okay?" he asked, wrapping both of his arms around you from the back as you stared into the big wide lake. he just wanted to be close to you. to feel you. hug you.

your stomach was flipping, feeling his gentle touch. "yeah, you're so warm," you cuddled into him as he nuzzled his face to your neck.

he swore he's going to ask you to be his girlfriend soon. it's inevitable. he feels it.

#x reader #character x you #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin x reader fluff

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strniohoeee · 1 year ago

Text

Racketeer Pt.4

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N and Chris are having a party for Nick and Matt, but what happens when two weird people test them…..

Warnings⚠️: Chris with a pewpew….uhhhh that’s about it. Sadly I think this is my last ‘Racketeer’ imagine….such a bitter sweet ending because I love this. I meannnn unless I randomly come up with a good idea but Idk🥹

Song for the imagine: Suburban, pt. 2- 22Gz

@flowerxbunnie @lustfulslxt

Back from the Ms and the case closed

Blood on my kicks, that's from stomping his face off

Chop off a limb with a chainsaw

Tonight Chris and I were getting ready for a party, no shocker there, but it was for Matt and Nick. He wanted to throw a party for them because he hadn’t seen them in a while since they live in LA most of the time now.

Chris had rented out a club for them, inviting our friends and the friends the three of them shared. I was actually super excited for this party because I missed Nick and Matt. They were a breath of fresh air from Chris' lifestyle, and I needed it.

I was also excited because this meant that we didn’t have to worry about any weird guys starting problems. I was so excited to just party and hang out with them without having to worry.

Chris was dressed in all black with his Timbs and a black fitted hat….this is all this motherfucker wore. He looked good as hell though, so I’ll shut up.

I decided on wearing an all black outfit too. I wore black wide leg baggy boyfriend jeans with a fitted black crop top, and my white air forces. I didn’t really care to dress up since it was a private club party with friends and his brothers.

I walked out to the living room to see Chris tucking his pistol into his waistband, I rolled my eyes at this

“Really….” i said looking at him

“Babe I have to, how many times have we gone out now, and trouble always finds us?” He said

“Whatever” I said giving up

I was just so fucking tired of this back and forth my life felt exhausting at this point. Constantly living in fear and worried Chris is going to actually hurt someone and be in prison

“I just get scared that you’ll get in trouble, and taken away from me” I said walking over to him

“I know baby, I don’t like this either, but it’s the consequences of my actions” he said pulling me in for a hug

“Chris I don’t know how much longer I can keep running in this circle” I said sighing

“Me neither okay, and I promise you I will get out of this” he said kissing me

“You always say that, but it never happens” I said

“I know I haven’t been true to my word, but I promise okay. I will get you out of this” he said looking at me

“I want to be in a different state in a house” I said smiling at him

“Whatever you want, I’ll get you a nice car a big dog and gifts” he said smiling at me

“I like that idea” I said kissing him

We had headed out, and headed downtown to the club where Chris was having the party. We got there and finished helping set up, dimming the lights and getting the music started

Chris hired bottle girls for this party, and I didn’t mind, but one girl kept looking at Chris like she could devour him. I was a little upset, but I kept my eye on her

About an hour later everybody showed up with Nick and Matt being the last ones in…not a shocked they were always late

“NICKKKKK, MATTTTT” I yelled running over to them and giving them big hugs

“I’ve missed you guys so much” I said to them pulling away

“We’ve missed you too it’s been too long” Nick said

“It has! Follow me Chris is at our table” I said to them over the loud music

They followed me over to Chris and I’s designated area. Couches with a table

“Yoooo” Chris said getting up and hugging his brothers

“I fucking missed ya” he said

“We missed you too kid” Matt said

“Come take a seat” Chris said waving them over

They took a seat, and slowly they started chatting with us and their hometown friends. We were having a good time especially me

We were a few drinks in dancing here and there, eating, and just vibing. The four of us catching up since it’s been months since we’ve seen each other

I was sitting next to Chris bobbing to the music as him and his brothers were chatting when all of a sudden that weird bottle girl came over

“More drinks?” She asked looking at Chris

“I’m good, how about you babe?” He said looking over at me

“Yeah I’ll have a Malibu Coke” I said looking at her

“Sure” she said emotionless and walked away

“She’s weird as fuck” I said

“How come?” Chris asked

“She’s looking at you like she wants you” I said

“Ouuuu jealous” he said laughing

“Mmm not jealous just annoyed” I said

She came back with my drink placing it in front of me

“Thank you” I said smiling at her, and she had no reaction

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything” she said touching his arm

“He’s good” I said to her

“Oh I was talking to him” she said looking at me

“Yeah and I’m talking to you, he’s good” I said pushing her hand off of him

“Who are you?” She said looking at me

“His girlfriend” I said looking back at her

“Mmmm right” she said giving me a weird look

“I’d watch the way you speak to me, I’m paying your bills” I said smiling at her

“Whatever” she said scoffing and walking away

“Ouuu I thought a drink was going to get thrown” Nick said looking at me

“Like I’m clearly sitting with him, and I came here with him…back off” I said taking a sip of my drink

“UGH” I said looking at my cup

“This bitch” I said

“What happened” Matt asked

“She gave me straight up Malibu” I said rolling my eyes

“I’ll fix it” Chris said reaching his hand up to take my cup

“No baby I got this” I said standing up

“Play nice” he said looking at me

“Always” I said before walking away

I went up to the bar looking for the girl, and when I spotted her she was whispering to a security guard looking over at Chris….weird. I left my cup and walked back over to our area

“Somethings not right” I said sitting down

“What’s up?” Chris said

“She’s talking to that security while looking over here. I don’t trust her” I said

“She could be warning them about you” Matt said laughing

“Nah…that security is new” I said

“Really?” Chris said looking over

“I’ve never seen him before” I said looking over at him

“Alright we stay together the whole night, and if something happens I got ya” Chris said referring to his gun

After a few more hours everyone started clearing out, and we stood in our area. They turned the lights back on and shut the music off so the crew could clean

The bottle girl came walking over to our area

“Can I clean this for you guys?” She asked sweetly

I just looked at her and Chris answered her

She was putting the drinks on a tray, and when she grabbed my old drink she “accidentally” knocked it all over me

“What the fuck bitch” I said standing up

“Oh my bad it was an accident” she said

“No it wasn’t. I don’t know what the fuck your issue is with me, but he’s my man. Back the fuck off” I said sizing her up

She looked at me and then dropped the tray all the drinks splashing all over us

I picked up two drinks and threw them in her face

“How’s that for an accident bitch” I said throwing the empty cups at her too

Chris immediately got up trying to separate us

“Alright let’s calm down” he said putting his hands out to separate us

“Now clean this up bitch” I said to her

Suddenly that security guard come over to us

“What’s going on” he said

“This girl is acting like a child” I said trying to dry myself off

He pulled the girl behind him, and suddenly pulled a gun out facing it at Chris

“We told you not to fuck with Drew’s crew because we’d always have a target on you” he said

“Yo put the gun down” Nick said standing up

“I’ll put a bullet in all yalls head” he said waving the gun around

“What do you want” Chris asked nonchalantly

“You and me only outside” he said

“Alright” Chris said

“Chris no” I said pulling him

He turned looking at me, and then with his eyes only looking down towards his waistband widening his eyes to tell me to take the gun

“It’s alright baby we’re just going to talk” he said widening his eyes again

I discreetly took the gun from his waistband and he immediately turned around punching the guy in the face causing him to fall back

“Grab her” I said to Matt

He grabbed the girl holding her

Chris and the guy started scuffling, knocking the drinks around as they landed on the table. The guy overpowered Chris and was now on top of him

“Get off of him” I said cocking the gun

“Shut up bitch” he said

“I’ll fucking paint the table with your brains” I said back

He kept scuffling with Chris and the girl was trying to run, so Nick also grabbed her

“And you’ll be next” I said pointing the gun at the girl

She spat in my direction

I took the butt of the gun and smashed it against the guys head he immediately fell over in a dazed state

“Keep telling Drew to send his people because I got mine and I’ll fucking kill all of you” Chris said to the guy

“You’re gonna get got soon” he said in a fuzzy state

“Ya fucking wish” Chris said stomping on the guys shoulder with his Timbs

“And for your bitch ass” Chris said pointing over at the girl

“What are you gonna do hit me” she said laughing

I walked over to her and lifted my arm off cracking her in the jaw with the butt of the gun

“No he won’t, but I will” I said as she fell limp to the ground

“Come on” Chris said to us

We followed him, and he grabbed his regular security guard

“Clean this up, get them out and I’ll be talking with ya about who you bring to my events without telling me” he said to the guy

“Yes” he responded and nodded at Chris

We all walked back to Chris car having Matt drive as Chris was pretty banged up

“Chris we have to get you cleaned up you’re all fucked up” I said examining his face

“Thank you for having my back” he said looking at me

“I told you I always will, when I saw that guy overpowering you I just wanted to kill him” I said wiping some blood with a tissue

“Baby that’s how I feel everytime someone tries you, I don’t want this lifestyle and I didnt want to bring you into it, and I’m sorry for that. Back in high school I watched my best friends girl get killed the one night he didn’t have his gun on him, and that shit sticks with me. I will always have my gun on me because I could never live through something like that again especially if it’s you” he said looking at me

“I never knew that. I’m sorry baby” I said kissing him

“It’s not something I wanted to burden with you, but this is why I always stay strapped. They started coming after Nick and Matt, and that’s why they left. But I couldn’t send you away because I couldn’t protect you if I did” He said

“I’m thankful for you Chris, always” I said to him

“I’m done with this life, I want you and only you. I want us to be happy and living peacefully. Come to LA with me” he said

“Yes baby. I’ll come with you” I said kissing him

Matt had driven us home and they stood with us that night helping me clean up Chris. We started making our plans to fly back with Nick and Matt, and leave this life behind.

The End

So sad that this is probably the last Racketeer imagine I’ll write😭😭 but i hope you enjoyed love yallllll🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #Spotify

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