#and i think siffrin could see it all the time over it just being in his mind space. the party cant see it though

[giftplane]

guideswap 2: unwanted advice

[eldragon-x-moved]

Top three insane and concerning Odile dialogues to me. Like the obvious reading here is that her problems will be solved because the King is going to kill her. And I do wonder if, aside from being pessimistic/trying to be realistic, she was straight up prepared to sacrifice herself.

As soon as she joins the party she expresses that she doesn't like the idea of leaving the fate of the country up to Mirabelle and Isabeau because they're younger than her. She says she's willing to do horrible things to protect the party on a family quest route. She learns some kind of craft that stops Siffrin from looping in Act 5. I don't think it's straight up Time Craft, which - as a reminder - could kill the user, but I can imagine it's still dangerous seeing as it's powerful enough to interact with Time Craft. And in the tutorial event, she puts herself between Siffrin and the rest of the party.

I don't think her potentially expecting to die against the King is her just throwing the towel either. She keeps emphasizing how the party has to be prepared and in top condition for the battle. It's more of a "if someone has to die, I'll take the bullet" kinda scenario.

That being said there's still the "One way or another part." which makes me wonder. Assuming she lives, her problems still extend beyond just the party splitting up. But going throught her friend quest, I guess she kinda accepted that trying to find closure in Vaugarde isn't going to be as fulfilling as she hoped and trying to make sense of her ties to it and how it informs her sense of self is going to be more complex than she expected.

But then, maybe the reason she expected her problems to be solved "one way or another" soon is because she expected she'd finally have the courage to ask the party to keep traveling together without worrying about the King?

The game keeps bringing up how the party has only known each other for a short time but a few months is long enough to get attached, especially if you've been by yourself for a long time like Siffrin or never quite found your place in your usual life like Mirabelle.

Maybe Odile doesn't even have that much to go back to in Ka Bue. Before it's revealed that everyone would like to stay together, Mirabelle seems content to stay on Dormont despite feeling insecure about her percieved lack of progress living in the House. Odile says once everything's over maybe she'll go back to Ka Bue but she isn't neccessarily eager to. Isabeau is the only one who really expresses wanting a change in his life once the King's defeated but even then it's kinda assumed he goes back to his town.

Bonnie is a little bit of an outlier here because of course they'd want to go back to their sister, but they still prefer that she comes along with them once they party makes it to Bambouche.

Maybe all Odile really wants right now is to not be left behind again.

[guided-by-stars]

Everyone’s always talking about facades in ISAT. Loop’s facade weaving itself into their true self, Siffrin’s acting breaking down over hundreds of performances, how Isabeau uses masks to cover his insecurities. But not all facades are constructed purposefully and not all are so consciously maintained.

I think a lot of people underestimate Mirabelle. Both in our world, and in theirs. She’s very disarming, isn’t she? Anxious, biting her nails, conciliatory, kind, overly careful with others. The first member of the party, the protagonist, but always letting everyone but herself take the lead, except when dealing the final blow on the King. You’d be forgiven for thinking she’s shy. But she’s not, is she? She was given incredible responsibility by her mentor that could, by all her knowledge, be dead, and instead of crumpling under that pressure, like many might have, she seeks out the Defenders to ask for their help, and even after they deny her, she ventures out, with only one person by her side, unquestionably dedicated to her quest to save Vaugarde.

She’s incredibly brave! And smart too! It’s hard to stand out in that regard, when you’re traveling with a Researcher, head always buried in books, reached the age of 40, almost twice as long on this world as you have been, and a man who grew up the literal stereotype of a nerd, who still knows how to calculate numbers in his head in an instant as if it’s nothing, and this mysterious traveller who has been disarming all these traps for you and finding all these keys and has an incredible number of random skills and survived on his own for how many years? But Mirabelle is clever and perceptive! And the most emotionally intelligent and least repressed out of anyone there. She always notices when Siffrin is feeling awful and attempting to hide it. In Dormont, in Act 3, she asks if he’s okay, and when he says that he is, she straight up pushes back against it and says that she’s pretty sure that he’s lying about being fine. She’s aware that Siffrin has put up a wall, she just doesn’t like overstepping. If she was the type who didn’t care about pushing boundaries, she would have confronted him far before Act 5. And she knows how to do so many things!! She’s taken over a hundred classes. One thing about Mirabelle, is she’s absolutely ravenous to learn. Everything.

Sure, she holds some things back. She’s not open about how much responsibility she feels has been placed on her back, and is nervous about how others will perceive her lack of interest in dating, but overall, she’s far more open about her own feelings than anyone else in the party. When she’s anxious, she says it. When she needs help, she accepts it. Now this. Is crazy.

And then there’s her interest in the schadenfreude of it all. The morbid. Mild mannered Mirabelle loves seeing little guys being put through… the horrors. (Oh Mirabelle…you would love In Stars and Time) She has a collection of gory books in her bedroom, and takes the horror anthology into her pocket when you find it. Part of it is because seeing others in danger makes her aware of how safe she is by comparison, part of it is the catharsis, the emotional relief of seeing the Chase being fulfilled. But I think some of it is just fascination and curiosity. As mentioned earlier, she desires very deeply to Learn Everything. Learning how someone might be torn to bloody pieces by the Beast? Part of that.

Mirabelle is kind, sweet, and cute. Yes. But she is also incredibly capable, clever and perceptive, tremendously brave and courageous, and is fascinated with horror and gore and danger. When Euphrasie blessed her, said that she was the only person who could have done it, she was right. I feel like people in general are prone to flattening out optimistic and positive characters and seeing them as more shallow, while digging deeper into more negative and externally emotionally turbulent ones. Mirabelle is not shallow!!!

And all of that is said without any mention of her fixation on Changing!! I am going to explode!! This post is too long already but maybe I’ll make another one about her unhealthy fixation on always Changing and how that drives almost everything she does, both before and during the same!! It is so core to her psyche! Ahhh fantasy religion!!

[eternal-love-song]

Familiar

Siffrin and Odile share a moment.

The habit had formed without Siffrin having noticed. Every evening, before the sun had set so far as to leave the sky dark, he would find where Odile was sitting with her book and park himself right beside her. He had gotten closer and closer over time, until he was sitting with his back pressed against her side, carving tools in hand while they both focused on their own task. 

At first it had been a sort of breather. It was a lot at times, trying to have "feelings talks" with Mirabelle, trying to balance not looking too worried while still being honest for Isabeau, and indulging Bonnie however he could so that none of them were too worried. They had reason to worry, Siffrin still wasn't anywhere close to normal again, but he still didn't want them to. As much as he couldn't just go back to normal even if he had wanted to, and he did, he also knew that he wouldn't be able to just... change his behaviors on a dime. And trying to for them was... exhausting. 

Odile, observant as she always was, had noticed this.

"You don't need to tell us everything all at once," she had told him. "Just say one thing, any one thing, it doesn't even have to be new, so that you can get into the habit. And if you need to say nothing at all, you can always just sit with me."

So he did. 

It happened when he got overwhelmed by memories or when he pushed himself too much to try and share more than he was really ready for. He would excuse himself from whatever he was doing, trudge over to Madame Odile, and just sit. First more than an arm's length away with his head buried in his knees, and then slowly closer, closer, bridging the gap between them more and more. 

Siffrin and Odile had always understood each other fairly well. They had a similar distance between themselves and others. The reason for that had changed during the loops, but the way they could understand each other hadn't. 

"That's starting to look rather familiar," Odile commented lightly. 

Siffrin flushed a bit at the comment, holding the carving closer to his chest as he looked over at  her. Her eyes seemed to still be on the book at first, but she smirked after a moment of him looking, moving just her eyes to meet his.

"Oh come now, don't tell me you're going to hide it now."

Siffrin ducked his head, once again wishing he still had his hat to hide beneath, but he held the wood out for her to see. It was barely more than half finished, the shape was clear enough. He didn't know when he had made up his mind to make this carving of her, but before he knew it...

"It's not done yet," he said in a small voice."

"No, but I can't say that I'm displeased to be your first subject after so long."

He could feel his face darkened even more. Odile laughed lightly at his reaction.

"Well, maybe you're the most compelling thing here to carve," he said. There was a hint of challenge in his voice as he said it, letting his eyes move back to hers. There was the slightest hint of a question in his eyes, asking if she would deny whatever bond was building between them lately. 

Odile's expression broke into surprise, before melting into something a bit softer. "Perhaps I've been thinking something similar," she admitted. She lowered her notebook, revealing a simple sketch she had done of Siffrin himself. 

Warmth began to spread through his entire body and he found himself leaning more heavily against her side. "Looks familiar," he parroted her words back at her with a small smile.

She huffed out a small laugh as she pulled her notebook back onto her lap. "Don't tell the others. I have Isabeau convinced that I'm writing observations about him."

"We can't let him find out what you're researching too easily, right?" He smiled like they were sharing a secret and she returned it. 

They returned to their own task again for a while. Neither of them spoke again until the sun was beginning to set. 

Soon, Bonnie would be calling them all for dinner and the little bubble of privacy around them would be broken. Siffrin closed his eyes, leaning his head against Odile as he just enjoyed the moment. He smiled when he felt her leaning into him as well.

[lucabyte]

hello

is this how your peopls work. i am obsessed with your comics and the panel layout and the way they react to eachother and sdgafkhgfdhsagfha s i very desperately need to have a grasp on how you see them in their dynamic and interacting and i feel like i don't know as much about how isabeau and loop be interacting but i am so so so so SO curious as to how that goes and how they feel about eachother pre-"i'm a former siffrin" and post-"ok you know who i am"

oh hell yeah a diagram we love a diagram

but yeah i'd say you've gotten my interpretation of the dynamic down pretty solid??

in general i think my instinct with loop-isabeau interactions is a lot tamer/calmer than others ive seen, my reasoning for why being hmm... i think i can note my core 'things im keeping in mind from the text' here

isabeau's line in act 6 remarking that loop seemed 'shy'. for all of loop's bravado @ siffrin (and thus the player's pov), they are still siffrin, so while it can be easy to percieve them as this loud bombastic personality-- there is this textual reminder that them acting this way is probably due in part to being up against siffrin, someone who won't speak unless spoken to (and thus loop takes the initiative, and is also presumably reveling a bit in making them uncomfortable and annoyed, inkeeping with their self-hatred and self-flaggellation) this to me reads as a reminder that they'd probably retreat into their shell hard when presented with other people- the party included. so even if i can see them trying to undermine their relationships with others, i think it's probably more on the insidious 'insulting siffrin to make the party protective of them' side, because that also feeds into 'proving' that the party only cares about one siffrin and that loop can be replaced. meanwhile isabeau has shown that, even with a vicious jealous streak, he can mostly keep a lid on it. he's the most emotionally intelligent of the group, and would probably be able to suss out loop's self-harm-via-getting-people-pissed-off-at-them gambit relatively simply given how obvious it is. also isabeau is not immune to insecurity-- and would probably let loop take some precidence over their relationship with siffrin because 'well i cant compete with the guy who actually went through All Of The Timeloop With Them.' because like... damn how are you supposed to do that. loop understands their pain better than isa ever could, and it would show in their fucked up unspoken understanding of each other (because how is Isa to know thats because theyre the same guy, and not just because the timeloop traumabonded the fuckers baddddly. which it also did.).

timeloop stressful as fuck. absolutely has both of them on tenterhooks the whole time. we visibly see how it affects siffrin (despondance & mania & aggression), and we see SAPfrin be very. very very despondant. so it would seem to me that loop is basically in a perpetual state of mania, given how sif's internal monologue begins to resemble their way of speaking (with the tee hees and such) when they are clearly broaching into manic states. one can assume that if you take loop out of the Torment Nexus, while they probably wouldn't faire well, all of the tension and pressure that's holding them up would collapse, likely putting them more depressive again by default? Of note, whenever i write loop's dialogue (which im told i do well? i will be honest i kind of feel like that's far too high praise.) i initially write it as very blunt and pissed off-- and will afterwards go back in and Maybe change wording to be more 'silly', but mostly i just add tildes~, italics, exclamation points and laughter to the pissed off dialogue without changing the actual content of it?

loop likes their friends! They are fucked up in the head about it (badly!!!) but they like their friends! They still care a lot, and can barely even hide it a little bit with their aloofness in game. it feels redundant to even try pointing out where they slip up because its everywhereee. They de-person their Actors because theyre the same lines over and over and over, but you see in SAP alone how any break from the script makes them overwhelmed with emotion, and how devastated they are if that deviation occurs a second time and becomes predictable (dying to the king after triggering the requisites for the true end, forcing you to go through it again). BUT!! You take their friends out of the timeloop and let them be New Unpredictable People again? I genuinely find it hard to believe mx siffrin "i love my friends so much id explode the world about it" nolastname would be able to see that and just go "nope im emotionally disconnected i can keep being a bitch to these guys forever". like no theyre gonna slip into being at least neutral no matter what. even if it's in a quiet depressive state when the mania wears off.

my biggest deviation from frequently observed fandom things here i think: i think loop doesn't actually believe that ISAT!Party are 'replacements'. they rarely if ever word a sentiment like this. this is something the fandom goes for because the horror of being replaced wholesale probably WOULD make it easier to cope if you considered those people to Not Be Your Real Friends. But loops WHOLE act 6 spiel? 'THEY WERE MINE FIRST. I LOVED THEM'? (paraphrased) they obviously desperately want to be with them again, and know they're the same people. The Fighter/Defender discrepancy clue is mostly metatext here-- since Loop never acknowledges the defender title-- just calling ISAT!Isa Fighter-- because they are the same guy. Your Fighter. They even call them Fighter in the "You got memory of X, your Fighter will now..." dialogues! Which are practically system dialogues! So. they see these isabeaus as the same. And while I would not put it past them to come up with the "they are different, my party is Dead" thing to Cope... I do think it is a delusion, plain and simple, and that I think any post-knowing-the-truth party would probably shut down weird rituals ive seen the fandom propose (often in a cute way??? it makes me feel insane?? like the concept of loop 'memorialising' their 'dead' family is not cute its nuts. they are being nuts. its like actively feeding into an extremely maladaptive coping mechanism. sorry this is like a massive sidebar but like. Yes i do think this is something loop might do if left unchecked. but it should not be presented as sane or rational? it outright undermines the themes of the game to treat the concept of 'Loop's party' being 'dead' as 'True'?? There's like several points in the game where Loop and Siffrin express that things that happened in the loops Still Happened even if the party dont recall it-- which is why their actions-- being cruel or doing 'experiments' still hold weight and can be Wrong. That it's tragic that the party will never remember but that their forgetting is NOT a pass to do whatever with no consequnce (experiment, bad touch, etc). It follows that by Nixing all of "loop's party", treating them as seperate, in some way implies loop's memories are Lesser and what they did "doesn't matter as much", which is antithetical on account of being contradictory to however you take the stated theme. PLUS... The game and Paratext are clear that there is One Timeline. SAP is in the same contiguous space as ISAT-- it is effectively just that on the loop between SAP and ISAT that we the audience dont see-- loop ate that star and when the loop restarted there were two of them. for all intents and purposes one can intuit that Loop 0 of isat and SAPfrin's first loop are legitimately identical from sif's POV, as Loop does not reveal themselves until Loop 1. BUT YEAH GIANT SIDEBAR OVER. THIS WHOLE READ OF THE TEXT INFORMS MY THOUGHTS RE: ISALOOP AND RELATED CONCEPTS VERY GREATLY)

jesus christ i wrote a lot in the above um. sorry. i dont know if its intelligable. uh. good luck?

im also on team 'orrery book and sif's thoughts about it belie a real deep-seated brainworm' re: their response to a Cautionary Tale About How You Will Inevitably Kill Your Double seemingly being "Nah, we'd be besties."... like. i do think it is. funny. and not particularly Unbased. Given how they are. For siffrin and loop to specifically be compelled by how they are the same guy. And i think that there's a lot to be mined from 'Both of them are convinced that the party knowing who loop is would fuck up everything badly, so they're going to great lengths to conseal this' played in tandem with '... they are like. very much explicitly doing things together that are directly related to a feeling of shared ownership over siffrin's body and form & the fact they are The Same Guy'. like it is a hysterical setup to me and i think is only added to when you have to put Isabeau in the middle of this polycule also. With the few exceptions of times ive drawn stuff specifically hinging on characters Knowing Who Loop Is (which is like. all bonnie-centric stuff so far? i think?), i take a lot of care to try and make their exchanges Vague as if they are worried about being overheard or saying something that's too much of a smoking gun. But also it's really god damn funny to think about how concerning some of those things could sound the vaguer you make them. Remember that above all i live and die by The Bit. (... as do they.) ie basically because im powered by The Bit thats why i focus more on the sloop side because its like. actively Funnier and more drama filled. or at least presents oppertunities for such. i feel like on isabeaus side here its kinda frequently like

yknow ? (oh god my formatting is broken now) . i DO very much think it can become like. niceys. of course. i think they can just be normal fucking throuple eventually (though if i'm going that goddamn far into the future u may as well partycule the fuckers 2 me. by the time theyve solved whatever the fuck you call pre-reveal isiloops i think odile has gotten involved at the very least. but this is why i mostly keep myself to the realm of 'the mostly immediate post-game conflict' stuff since i think all these characters leave off the end of the game with such solid springboards for arcs set up (clearly intentionally) that the infinite realm of possibilities opens up too wide for me to be comfortable with.) anyway i keep thinking about the tragicomedy of isabeau finally finding an "in" to nurture a friendly bond with loop by comisserating and steeling themselves for changing again even though it feels like a betrayal of their previous actions/beliefs and how fucking funny the idea of 'loop reveal but theyre like 2 weeks into using she/they' is. just like you get all the way through the horrors of 'oh jesus christ the timeloop was even worse than we thought it was' but now '.. d. do you still . what pronouns do you want?' is tacked onto the end. Sorry did you hear something . must've been the wind. anyway . this ask is a fucking mess i hope its readable like at all . can you tell ive been brainscramblied for six weeks

TL;DR:

yeaghj you got it. its not like im doing anything revolutionary im just trying to stick as close as i can do what i percieve the characterisation is in canon & thus generally dont tie down any of my fanwork to specific post-canon-plot-concepts. its all just nebulous extrapolation set 'pretty close to the end of the game because i think these characters are going to grow and change extremely rapidly once the game is over given how they're all intentionally poised for character arcs when the game ends'. but also you should put isabeau in the worst social bind of all time with two of the most mentally unwell BPD OCD havers youve ever seen and let him try to figure out the balance of 'be gentle' and 'treat them like the almost-30-year-old adult they literally are' while he also balances his own set of entire life changes it'll be fine he'll be fine (someone should probably check on him)

[thebirthofvenusfly]

i like thinking about the odile loop au primarily because I like odile. but also,

i like the thought of the eldest character going through so much, trying so hard to keep her calm over the loops because the others are looking up to her, depending on her sometimes cold but analytical and precise demeanor to understand what doesn't make sense and keep their heads on. i like thinking about her initially fascinated by the opportunity to study the loops, to ask more questions about Vaugarde because she has more time, to listen to her family's banter again and again, but then she beats the king with them and everything resets anyways.

she's confused. she hates being confused. she's trying to understand WHY, trying to study, trying to hyperanalyze every variable she's fucking up here, trying to make sense of it, trying not to detach entirely because she's seen siffrin's body crushed under boulders or mirabelle have mental breakdowns to tears and wailing or protect bonnie from the sadnesses that she hates to admit did get the better of her once or twice.

she's trying to survive but she's trying to understand it all so she can reverse engineer whatever the hell is happening, whatever force has left her here to fend for herself over and over. she's screwing up her loops because she's becoming desensitized, unable to have her witty remarks and humorous banter and ruffle bonnie's hair when they say something innocently funny, or even fake a smile anymore at their snack breaks. she's lashing out at the others when they question her because she's gone too quiet because she's thinking so hard about what she's doing wrong, what must she be doing wrong to continue being stuck here, like this.

she won't admit that she was lonely. she won't admit she didn't want to leave the party and return to Ka Bue after everything. the first few days of looping, she's still got half a mind to be concerned and trying to get to the bottom of this time fuckery, but part of her is... relieved? to hear all these stories and see her loved ones smile, and still learn something new about them, just because she has a little more time? but then she learns everything she can, then she's stuck, then she's terrified and won't admit she's terrified, and then she's convinced none of them could really understand what the hell is happening to her when SHE doesn't even understand despite how hard she's trying despite the logs and journals she's burning through to track every choice she's made and every thing that's happened as a result she's trying so hard, man

[vulpixisananimal]

<Null> {Mal Du Pays} [Loop] (Siffrin)

(. . . Uhrg.)

(Your blinding head is killing you.)

(You feel like your whole body's been put in a wine press. Everything hurt in one way or another. What. . . Happened?)

(You breathe in, and out. Okay, what happened. You remember fighting the sadness, winning, and. . . Something bad happening. You, woke up, had emotions. went to the woods, found, found the people who did this, fought them, and. . .)

(. . . Uhrg, did you loop a lot again? Everything was still so fuzzy, less remembering and litteraly asking what happened. Or like calling Loop for a reminder. Soooo what, you must be in bed, at the inn- oh wait, you, hear people talking. You hadn't really realized at first, heh. . .)

(. . . You're comfortable, you'll just, rest a bit and listen in.)

"-iching is expertly done! Much better than I could ever do." (That was Isabeaus voice. So he was okay, good. . .)

"Ha! Don't sell yourself short, I've seen you work!" (And Ramos, they're fine too, that's good. . .)

"Aww thanks Rams, you know I'll at least try! Look, they even weaved crafted stitching into the inner lining of their cloak!"

"Woah, that looks complicated."

"It is! Very expensive I imagine, they must have had people who really cared about him. . ."

(. . . Oh, they're talking about your cloak. You try not to make a sound. Stars, what if they noticed you were awake. Just, keep pretending.)

". . . I hope, I hope Siffrins parents, or, whoever gave them this, knows that they're being taken care of."

"Yeah. . ."

". . . You think they'll wake up soon?"

"I dunno, if not today then deffinatly tomorrow."

(Ah stars, uh, do something, convincing! Yeah convince them you're asleep! You shift a bit and roll onto your side, tucking your legs and arms in a little. There, it was more comfortable too.)

". . . . Did you see that?"

"How could I NOT see that!!"

(?!?!?!?!?!?!)

"I told you! He's just, so, so. . ." (Isabeau was about to say cute, right?)

"So cute." (RAMOS?!?!?!) "How did I not realize earlier."

"Don't beat yourself up over it! You had a lot going on!"

"I-I guess, but, well, look at them!"

"I know right?!?"

"How is it that even when he's fast asleep he's so cute."

"They talk in their sleep sometimes, y'know."

"Oh stars, that's so cute."

(The compliments from Isabeau were already going to make you blush, but, but Ramos ALSO?!? A-and, and why were they so, well- pointing it out?!?)

"Crabs what am I gonna do Isa. ."

"Well, you could talk to him about it."

"No way!! Do you have any idea how bad that could go?!?"

(Wait.)

"Aww c'mon, you never know if you don't ask! Sif's a funny fella! Full of surprises and all-"

"Isabeau," (Ramos cuts him off.) "I nearly killed them in Jouvente and ruined their life for a bit! They still don't trust me after all that. How am I supposed to just confess a crush after all that?!?"

(WHAT?!??!?!!??!?)

(RAMOS, RAMOS, THEY, HAD, WHAT?!? ON, YOU?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?)

(Despite your best efforts, you can't help but gasp a little hearing that. You hope, pray, that they didn't hear, or notice, or, or just, anything. But, you could tell by the very loud silence, they deffinatly, 100% noticed.)

". . . . . . . ."

". . . . . . . ."

". . . . . . . . H-hey Ramos, could you uh, go, ask, Bonnie uh, about dinner? I-if it's soon then, uh-"

"Y-yeah, I can, do that."

(You hear Ramos get up, walk, open a door, and close it. You wait a few moments more to hear them walking away.)

". . . . S-sif, are, you uh. . ."

(. . . Stars.)

(You open your eye, and wince, it's so bright! You blink a few times, and look over to Isabeau, holding your cloak, who was blushing VERY hard. At least you were in good company then.)

". . . . . Hi Isa." (You speak quietly, he sinks into his shoulders.)

". . . Hey Sif, uh. ." (He grabs his arm and looks away.) "How uh, how much, did you hear?"

"Talking about stitching, and everything after." (You grimace.)

"O-oh. . ."

(There is a VERY awkward silence.)

(You look away.) ". . . S-so, so, Ramos, uh. ."

"Y-yeah."

"When did, that, happen?"

"They realized it when they poked in your head, f-for medical reasons!" (He quickly adds,) "A-and uh, y-yeah."

"Oh. . ." (You shake your head weakly, then regret it, still dizzy, and achey.) "Ow- uh, I, don't think I remember that."

"T-that's okay! Uh, should, should I, say anything? Or, thoughts?"

". . . . ." (You. . . Didn't know. You knew the others didn't like Ramos at all, but you liked having them around. You'd have to think about it, but. . .) "I, well, I dunno. What about you? Since, we're, y'know. . ."

"I'm fine with it!" (Isa beamed at you.) "They're my buddy! A-and it's, kinda cute!"

"Right. ." (You mumble, thinking some more.) ". . I'll, I-I'll think about it, but, I, uh. . . C-can we pretend I never heard that?"

"Well, Ramos deffinatly uh, knows, you heard. But uh. ." (He thinks for a moment.) "We can, all agree to pretend you didn't? Just, go through the day like normal untill you figure it out?"

"And recover."

"AND recover!"

(You take a deep breath, then end up coughing. In a flash Isa was by your side with some water. You take a sip and instantly feel much better.)

"How long has it been?"

"Aboooout four days? Three or four days." (Isa puts a hand to your head.) "I guess that medicine we got helped, and that guy Wren knew a lot about overusing crafts."

"Huh. . ." (You remember how he deflected Odiles attack so easily. Actually, all three of them were, weird.)

(Isa took his hand back.) "You're still hot, try and get some rest? I'll let everyone know you woke up, okay?"

"Thanks, Isa. . ." (You smile up at him, then close your eye again.)

(Try not to think about, Ramos. Think of something else, think about, about. . .)

(. . . Wren, so stoic, able to counter craft without a second thought. Vixul, who didn't seem to be from anywhere. And Polaris, who struck like lightning, and who was like you.)

(. . . You should talk to them before you leave.)

>>>

"Woah there, Loopy, don't eat the whole plate now." [Nille jested as you scarfed down lunch. It was breakfast for you, having not eaten yet, but semantics didn't matter. You were HUNGRY!]

"Go Loop go! Go Loop go!" [Bonnie, Mira, and Isa were all chanting, by contrast.]

[After gobbling down breakfast at what was probably a record breaking pace, that trio started cheering.]

[You do a sitting-bow.] "Thank you, thank you~ Absolutly delicious Boniface~"

"Of course it crabbing is!!!"

"Language." [Nille was barely holding back a laugh.] "You better not still be hungry after all that."

"Can you blame me? I'm eating for four~" [You giggled behind a hand, oh good! You made the others laugh too!]

[There's a knock at the door, Bonnie runs over.] "I GOT IT!!!"

[A moment later, Odile and Ramos joined your little group. Ramos, you note, avoided your eye, for a good reason too, because the look you oh so wanted to give was utter disdain.]

[You wanted to jump up and strangle them.]

[Imagine it! Your head, blurry as can be in a sleeping, unconscious mess and all of a sudden this little crab wormed their way into your mind! The only thing you liked about their little visit was that sweet face of UTTER TERROR.]

[And they were gone! And you spent the rest of your timewell, asleep! The mind had to rest, after all~]

[But then.]

[BUT THEN.]

[Stardust has a wonderful little time being able to wake up, oh how lucky! You were still recovering so you were a bit late to the party, oh if ONLY you could have stopped it, could have taken that little memory and gobbled it up like a star! But no, you were far too late~]

[Because Stardust pops to the favor tree for a wonderful "team meeting" and told you all that Ramos, that rat, that pest in your family, gotten a teeny weeny itsy bitsy little CRUSH. ON. YOUR. STARDUST!!!]

[It was enough to make you LAUGH!!!]

[STARS, but despite EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU telling Stardust to NOT TRUST THEM. All he told you was "I'll think about it." Sure, Stardust, go think about that. Trust your heart with someone who ruined your life~ See how that works out~]

[Was it mind craft? Did that sneaky little devil plant that seed in Siffrins head?!? How DA-]

"Loooop, hel-looooo earth to Loop" [Isa was waving a hand in front of your face.]

"Hmm?" [You snap back to reality, smiling.] "Sorry, lost in thought is all."

"A-are you sure you're, feeling okay?" [Mirabelle asked.]

[You nodded.] "I promise, I'm not the one pushing the body, after all."

"Right." [She huffs.] "Null will be getting a piece of my mind once they're aronud."

"Hear, hear." [Nille nods.] "Had us scared for a bit there Loopy."

"Does that have to be my nickname?" [You mumble.] "Besides, it's only been a few days, far faster than last time."

"That's thanks to Wren." [Odile responds.] "All three of them, actually. They're quite knowledgeable on how to treat craft exhaustion."

"That tells a story in itself." [Mira adds.]

"True, true. Who do you think's the "Null" of that group then." [Isa laughs a little.]

"Polaris, I bet~" [You shrug.] "For how little experience he has, he was quite the powerhouse when we fought the sadness."

"Oh!! Right!!" [Mirable jumps up, raising a hand.] "We should get to buisness!!"

"Right!" [Isabeau coughs into his hand and speaks in some exaggerated posh voice.] "I now call to order this official meeting of the former saviors of Vaugarde!"

"Charming, fighter~" [You rub your neck, sitting up straighter.] "So, what did we miss durring our beauty sleep."

"Quite a bit!!" [Mira jumped in.]

[Mirabelle started recounting the events you had missed, with others jumping in to fill holes. The sadness, the experience Mirabelle had with that sadness, how Merlon fought, how everyone was okay, your recovery, all of it. You mentally listed out each question you had for when she was done. She only left out one thing, and it was the thing that was causing Ramos to stay quiet.]

". . . Alright, one thing at a time." [Quetion time.] "How did you beat Perci when we were struggling so hard."

"Well, Ramos actually explained it best!" [Mira turned to the defender-in-training.]

"H-HUH?!?" [Ramos jumped, and looked away.] "I- uh, sorry, right. Okay, well, well essentially Mirabelles mind is, cluttered? She jumps from one thing to another, worries on everything, notices everything, it's hard to make things out."

". . . And ours is somehow more put together?" [You rolled your eye.]

"Uh, yes?" [They sink into their shoulders.] "I-I mean, well, it's, it's complicated."

"Sure, Ramos." [You move on.] "Next, Merlon. Now, I just have to double check, but what do you blinding mean they used wish craft to fight."

"That's exactly what I mean." [Odile responds.] "From Mirabelle's description, it was wish craft. The extreme smell of sugar, the flashes of light, it points to wish craft."

"It, well, it looked like the sky after we, I, froze the King." [Mirabelle looks down.]

[. . . Red.]

"That, just leaves more questions." [You hold your head.] "Stars, lets, just move on. What about the sadness, and that stone?"

"Well, the sadness is gone now, mostly. I confronted it, since it was my sadness, and it dissolved and left this." [Mirabelle untucked a necklace, a new necklace, from her shirt.]

[You look in confusion, then shock.] ". . . Is, that looks like a frozen tear from the House."

"It does, doesn't it!" [Mira confirms with quite a bit of enthusiasm.] "That's because it, well, it is! When Nille went pick it up, she got frozen! Well, untill I undid it but still!!"

"Not exactly a good experience." [Pétronille rubbed her shoulder.]

[Mira continued.] "We got it encased in some crafted glass so it's not a problem, but still!!"

"Iiiinteresting." [That could be useful.] "And, what about-"

[Mirabelle coughs.] "W-well, there, is, another thing. . ."

". . . Go on?"

"I don't know how to say this, so. . ." [Mira takes a breath.] ". . I can freeze people in time now."

". . ." [You, stare in disbelief.] ". . . . . . Pardon?"

"Well," [Odile jumps in to save Mirabelle.] "The running theory is that Mirabelle's sadness held much of the Kings remaining wish, likely due to Miras own gift to be immune to being frozen. And when the sadness returned to Mirabelle it brought that craft skill, fueled by that wish, with it"

". . . Stars." [That's, that's a lot to take in- oh blinding-] "O-oh I'm, not mad at you Mirabelle, I-I'm more just, well-"

"No no, I understand." [Mirabelle takes a breath.] "It's, conflicting. It's scary, and unnerving, to be able to do that."

". . . . . ." <You smile up at Mirabelle.> ". . We've got your back, Mirabelle, no matter what."

<She smiles back.> "T-thank you, Loop."

[. . You ignore that itch at the back of your head. You were curious. . .] "Have you used that skill on anyone?"

"I-" [Mirabelle holds up a finger, then sheepishly puts her hands behind her back.] ". . . Yes."

". . You-"

"Wren wanted to know what it was like!!"

"Know what it was like?!?"

"He's very, invested in his research."

"Heh, I dunno anyone like that." [Bonnie said with a grin.]

"Neither do I." [Odile said flatly. Everyone laughed a bit at that.]

[Stars, thank you for breaking the ice you two. Now, what next.] ". . . So, do we know who our mystery duo is?"

"Percival Monet and Merlon Monet. Percival is 32, and hasn't stated where he's from. While Merlon is around mid thirties, and doesnt remember where they're from." [Odile retrieves a page of paper from her coat.] "Let's see. The Monets are known for being reputable historians and archeologist. They've published reports and books relating on every country in the world bar one. No prizes for guessing which."

[Ha. Ha.] "So are they just looking to fill out a trophy wall?"

"I doubt it." [Odile tapped her chin.] "From what I can tell the only mark against them is the fact Percis writing can be a bit. . . Dramatic."

"I could tell." [You sigh.] "And that's it?"

"That's it."

"Stars." [You rub your temples.] "Well. . . Anything else?"

"Well!' [Isa smiles and walks back to your side.] "We're gonna try and leave in the next few days since it's uh, gonna get busy here. Winter and all."

[Oh right, you almost for about that.] "And that's it?"

"I believe so."

"It should be!"

"I got nothin'"

"Ditto."

". . ." (Ramos pauses.) ". . . Yeah that's all."

"Aaaaaalllllright then! With that I call this meeting-" [Wait.]

"Waaaait a second, Isabeau~" [You interupt.] "I actually, do have something to add."

[Everyone was looking at you, expectantly. Your confidence waivered.]

[No. It was now or never. You couldn't forget what you had learned on that first loop. About how that shadow had been more daring than any of you! No, not anymore.]

". . . Isabeau, about, your Stardust."

"A-ah." [Instantly you got his attention.] "Uh, y-yes?"

"Well for one, they really do love you very much. I hope you know that despite their cowardice." [You smile. You don't look, but you were hoping Ramos was listening.]

"O-oh, uh. . . Thanks? F-for letting me know?" [He looked away, blushing.] "I-I already, knew that though-"

"Look at me, fighter." [You reach up and turn his face to look back at you.]

"While yes, Stardust has been a coward when it comes to talking about intimacy, having taken weeks, months to talk about it. . ." [You lean up, making sure all attention is on you.]

[. . . . Please, please, please be good.] ". . . Let it be known I am no coward."

[You grab his shirt in a quick, smooth motion and pull Isabeau down into a kiss.]

[You hear squeals and gasps from the party, and the silence that followed. You feel his warm lips against yours. And you feel, And, and, and. . .]

[H-he, he, he doesn't pull away.]

[There's a pause, then, then you feel, a hand, on your cheek. A hand that felt warm, and soft. A strong hand. A hand that dwarfed yours with how big it was. It was his hand. A hand that you had begged, cried, pleaded to the universe to feel one, last, time.]

[The moment lasts just a few seconds, but it felt longer than every loop you went through combined. And it was worth it.]

[He pulls away from the kiss, face dark in a very, very strong blush. His mouth is open in a stupor, his eyes wide.]

". . . . . . Stardust has good taste~"

[itstheval]

Memory of Dreary Days / Siffrin Gets An Earring

A @livesworthlivingau Side Story

It was a lovely autumn day, and Siffrin was miserable.

This wasn't anything new, they'd come to realize. The events of Dormont had changed - and possibly Changed - them, but that was months ago, a little over a year now. No, this frustration was newer, possibly the last few months, but they'd managed to identify it over time.

They watched Mirabelle and Isabeau, in front of them, chatting about what Changes they might want to make in the future. Isabeau had a whole list of ideas, but Mirabelle was being more cautious, as usual. Odile was watching and writing, and Bonbon, they were sitting on Nille's shoulders as both of them added their two coins when they had an idea. Leaving you, Siffrin the Traveler, as an outsider. Again.

It wasn't their fault, you knew it. You were empty inside, and this entire adventure you were on was to fill you. That was something the doctor had mentioned, that you seemed to agree with…You didn't have a past, so they were making you one, because they wanted you to. So why were you being talked over, and around? Why were they treating you like a pet, not someone with their own ideas?

The only thing worse than knowing it was it being known, unfortunately. It seemed like they came to a pause in conversation, and Isabeau looked back as though remembering you existed after so long ignoring you.

"What about you, Sif? Got any ideas for big Changes?"

You could laugh. You could sob. You remembered being as large as the sky, and just as filled with stars. You pictured yourself, star-headed and lightless-skinned.

"I don't think so! That's a Vaugardian thing, isn't it?"

The words were more bitter than you imagined them to be, and the second they left your lips you knew that they were wrong. A second after, you told yourself otherwise. "Words can't be wrong", the doctor had said, "If you mean them. You're trying to express yourself, not win a game." Well, from the way everyone else's faces fell, that was good, because you'd have just lost hard.

"That doesn't mean you can't Change! There's Houses everywhere that will take you in and help you, too."

"Yes," Odile continued. "I've thought of using them myself, during my time here, but I never had time to stay in one place, what with…everything."

"Really, madame? You're so pretty! What would you even change?"

And the conversation was off again…Odile explaining her heritage yet again, too-thick hair and too-wide eyes for ka bue, too-thin eyes and too-thin hair for Vaugarde. You wondered, sometimes, if Ka Buans had thought she was as pretty as Vaugardians do. You wonder, in the moment, if they'd bother talking to you again.

They hadn't.

You'd caught Isabeau looking over at you, with something more thoughtful than pity, but you could see the pity in it. Whatever he had in his mind, it wasn't enough to make him ask about anywhere else, or change the subject. Quietly, you thought about how much nicer it would've been if you'd just gone for a comfortable lie instead.

▬▬▬

It was a rainy, autumnal day, and Siffrin was bored.

It wasn't anyone's fault, everyone knew that was just what happened in Autumn. You found somewhere to stay until the rains ended, or you trudged through the worst mud that you could imagine. Bored or miserable, and to the family the choice was obvious. Siffrin had been…letting themself think of them that way for a while, even without telling them. Their little secret. Maybe not their family, but they were the family, and nobody could blame him for that, right? Watching Mira read to Bonbon, watching Isa and Nille talking about, of all things, carpentry, and Madame writing in those inscrutable books of hers.

You hated it. You hated listening to it, you hated being part of it, and you hated being trapped in it. It was nothing like the loops, you knew, but it was almost worse in its way. Watching everyone else with a role, with something to do, and you off to the side like some pet. You'd already napped yourself dry, and nobody had begrudged you sleeping through breakfast, even if it meant you were likely to stay up well after the candles were out at night. But the rest of your day…

You sighed. Sitting there wasn't going to make you any happier, and you'd already looked at all of the books Mira had brought with her. You'd read through the horror stories until they started showing up in your dreams, when Mirabelle had banned you from reading any more of them because of how you'd been whimpering in your sleep. Isa had tried to defend your right to read, but the looks Odile had given him had made him blush in a peculiar way and stop trying, and that had been the end of it. The less said about the romances, the better. You understood that Vaugarde was an open place, but the things they dreamt up to keep two people from each other felt so cliched, so unreal, so impossible that you couldn't get into them.

So, you laid there, in a bed, in a wooden room, staring at the ceiling until the morning came.

How familiar.

That thought sent a shudder down your spine that you knew everyone noticed, but you got out of bed before any of them could comment on it. No, you were dealing with this. You weren't being dealt with, not this time. You hopped up, and walked over to Odile, who closed her book as you approached.

"What could you be writing down now?" you found it in you to ask. "Vaugardian rainy-day games? I thought you were a master at those." The joking tone managed to reach your voice, you thought, and you were glad for it.

"Oh, I wasn't writing at all. Believe it or not, I'm designing something."

"Designing?" The surprise in your voice was clear.

"Well yes. You have your woodcarving…Or had it, when we were near forested areas enough to find scrapwood. Mirabelle has her writing. I thought I should perhaps try my hands at something creative."

"Oh, can I see?" This was WAY more interesting than laying in bed!

"If you can guess what it is, then yes. It wasn't fair that I didn't get to see your face when my research was revealed, after all." Her smile was coy and knowing, but she did, ultimately, have a point.

"Oh, is it…" You looked around, trying to think of what could be in the room that she could draw inspiration from.

"Clothesmaking? Like Isa plans to?"

"Nice try, young one. But that's your one try for the day." Odile's eyes turned up as she thought about the idea. "Besides, do you think I'd compete with Isabeau? In something he's planned for that long?"

You had to concede the point.

▬▬▬

"Carpentry?"

"Can you imagine me swinging a hammer, Siffrin? I know my limits, and they stop well before there."

▬▬▬

"Bookbinding!" You thought for sure you had her on that one. Something to do with her precious books, and something she could study from Mira's colleciton and her own?

"Sadly, no. But, now that you mention it, maybe I should."

▬▬▬

So the days had passed, until things were clear again. The world was colder now, and you could feel it around your cloak, but everyone was well prepared for it. You'd all gotten your own instructions on what to purchase, and been sent off to pick up supplies, which had taken the whole day between bartering and transporting. Thakfully, without Mira there you managed to get a Savior of Vaugarde Discount, and used the extra coin to pick up a pain au chocolat. Some things, it seemed, were eternal, and this one you didn't mind.

So it was that you returned to the inn, one hand with a canvas bag full of smaller bags, spices and flour and other things for Bonbon, the other letting you munch away happily, but you found yourself pausing outside the door. Something was wrong, you could feel it. You finished your treat quickly, and opened the door with a hand on your dagger. A pre-feeling, something that you couldn't put words to, told you that there was something going on beyond the door

You were right.

But not how you thought.

Instead, the family had been standing around in a half-circle, seemingly waiting for you to get back! You barely had time to rescue the groceries as a Bonbon-shaped missile impacted your legs and held you, Mira following after on the other side and Nille even stepping in to ruffle your hair, as Odile looked on fondly, and Isa…Hid something.

As lovely as the feeling was, your suspicions were raised far too high.

You managed a laugh, and to pull yourself free of the hug after enough time that it had started to loosen, before staring down Isa. Watching his cheeks darken was almost worth he price of admission, even as the others spoke around you. Again.

"I told you he'd notice!"

"You hardly had a better idea, Mirabelle."

"Uh-uh! We shoulda done it at dinner! Make sure he's comf-ta-bul."

"Comfortable, Boniface."

"That's what I said!"

It all flowed around you, as you stepped closer to Isa, and sighed. "I know what bonding earrings are, Isa." You allowed, holding out a hand, making him stutter even worse - and sending a roil of laughter around the room from everyone else.

That wasn't it? Then what was he hiding?"

"You're half right, I'm afraid. This is actually something we'd all been thinking about for a while…The past week just proved how important it was. It's not bonding earrings, but…"

As Odile spoke, Isabeau brought a black jewelry box around, holding it out to you. His words were trembling and small, in the way he always seemed to do only for you. You wished he wouldn't…his big booming voice was always so nice.

"We noticed you don't have any earrings yourself, Sif! And…I mean, you're as Vaugardian as any of us, if you want to be. Not that you should feel like you have to give anything up for us! But! I thought this might…make it easier to remember?"

What…were they saying?

Isabeau opened the box, and instead of one of his black i-earrings like you'd expected, a pair of star-shaped earrings rested inside. They were a light shade, just dark enough to notice around your hair, and obviously handcrafted. The edges were imprecise, the designs weren't symmetrical, and you could feel the love in every angle.

You stared. You didn't know what else to do.

Isa was saying more things, and it sounded like other people were responding, but you lifted up a hand to the box. A shaking hand, you realized when it was halfway there. Trembling, uncertain, but you didn't dare stop now. Not when they'd put so much effort in.

"-know what I was working on, the past few days. It's something of a rush job and it shows, but it's even more Vaugardian to have it made by your family, isn't it?" Odile was speaking.

Made…by your family.

Made by them.

You cried. You wrapped your arms around the giant body of Isabeau and you cried and you sobbed and you bawled and for once in your life, you weren't ashamed of a single sound you made. There wasn't any room for it in your heart. Not with everything else you were feeling.

Everyone else was holding you in moments. You turned, as best you could in the group hug, to include all of them. You knew you were getting tears and snot all over them and you didn't care. They were there. They were your family. They…You were one of them.

In that moment, of all moments, you were loved.

[str8rat]

In Stars And Time - Fear and Hunger AU

ALSO WARNING, loss of limbs

remember kids, an unspoken rule of the artists; when they've got no twinkles in their eyes, you know they've had it bad.

WOOO ISA'S THE NEXT CHARACTER I DECIDED TO TRAUMATIZE!!!!! YAY!!!!

Mirabelle will be next <3

~ ~ ~

Isabeau; Ophthalmophobia ( fear of being stared at )

Effects; Lost his right arm

Info;

TW!!! DISMEMBERMENT IG aka backstory to how Isa lost his arm

A retired Defender of Jouvente. He capital-C-Changed his body, hoping to become someone that others wouldn't be ashamed of knowing. Lost his right arm months before the party reached Dormont, protecting Mirabelle from a fatal strike coming from a powerful Sadness.

Despite his loss, his bubbly and highly supportive personality remains, always caring for his companions. And even though he does mourn the fact of him most likely never being able to become a clothing designer with just one arm, he does not regret his decision one bit. He's just a stupid Defender, afterall, and Mirabelle is the Chosen one, the one blessed by the Change God, to defeat the King. She is more important than some puny guy that likes bad jokes.

Gets phantom pains quite often. He desperately tries to be the strong, optimistic member of the party, keeping up their morales and spirits, never wanting to let them down. Always hoping that his laughter will light up the room and help everyone forget about everything, if only for a little bit. He also lost his left earring in one of the battles against Sadnesses. Generally he is the person constantly getting hurt for his party, despite the scolding he gets for it regularely.

Due to his phobia, he dislikes crowds and the public, always feeling like he has eyes at the back of his neck. He hates it, and always tries to avoid eye contact while talking to someone. With the party's help though, he's been making progress! The feeling of eyes looking over his body reminds him of all his imperfections, and it makes him spiral, wondering if he is being stared at due to the flaws in his crafted body. It makes him want to Change into someone else.

And yet, he still silently hopes that maybe, just maybe, in an unspecified time in the future, he could make up for the missing earring, and put a bonding one in it's place, if he'd ever dare to confess to Siffrin. He cannot bring himself to do it though, thinking that maybe, even after everything, he may still not be good enough and worthy of being loved. All in all, he still remains just a coward.

~ ~ ~

Sooo yeah. I in all honesty could not find a better phobia for Isa. I've thought about the phobia of love ( his inability to confess ) or maybe the phobia of failure ( failing his friends ) but in the end I settled on a phobia that has him feeling like he is constantly stared at, so much so that he decided to Change his body. Honestly a terrifying phobia. And a very self-destructive one.

Anyways, that's all! see you tomorrow! we're ruining Mirabelle next <3

[koshiaoi]

More sif from In Galaxies And Eons, he gets a bit worn-out whenever he loops.

My hc is he is affected by the craft exhaustion way more than normal sif, by way more I mean while in the loops, and that's because it's not just local to Vaugarde and is instead just reversing time completely! But his body does still feel the effects of it harshly, as each time he dies the scar on his cheek and the black bits of his hair, hat, and the inside of his clothes gains another star. All the black bits slowly turn a dark blue! Just cuz I wanna and I love blue.

If anyone is wondering, the scar on his cheek he got from loop, this loop spent way longer in the time loops than the original loop (around 10k I think?) And doesn't really talk to siffrin because of this. Loop attacked sif because he wanted to replace him and get back his actors.

From everyone else's perspective, they were a few days before they got to dormant and were taking a break when they heard sif scream, they rushed over and saw him almost dead being attacked by a "sadness" that somehow could talk? They hear it say something about ripping his skin off and replacing him, at which point they were able to save sif. Frightening loop, causing them to run away. Isa and odile noticed something in its eyes though... a weird shade that gave them a visceral feeling.

Bonnie wouldn't be able to leave sifs side after this, as they were told that he was 'just going to take a nap' and he ended up getting attacked. So bonnie sees this and knows that they can't leave the rest of the party anymore, but what's worse about it is that even though frin looks half dead, they're not bleeding, like at all. Instead, every scratch and wound is this weird back nothingness, which is even more reason to not let him alone ever again!

Mira tries her best to heal him, but nothing happens, almost like its permanent damage, like its scars, which stress her out even more! The person who she thought she could trust with her life is now badly injured because of her! If she just didn't ask him to come along, he would never have gotten hurt! It's all her fault! Its-

And isa would hide his true feelings about the entire thing, just trying to cheer sif up by telling him how cool he is for being able to hold his own against that sadness, they that couldn't even damage... wait what? Why couldn't they damage it? Why could only sif damage it? Well that doesn't matter! Sif looks really cool now! He tries his best to help out the freaking out siffrin.

Odile on the other hand would take that thought and run with it. When she saw that when they tried to attack the sadness, not only did it not flinch, like at all, it's form also didn't even react! No small bits of water, nothing. And then there's the fact that whatever it did to siffrin is permanent and can't be healed, what it said was weird to, not to mention that IT COULD TALK? No something wasn't right here... they should really talk to siffrin later.

Yes! I am using some headcannons for this! Specifically the loop appeared before the loops and was just hiding, the loop being sap!sif but I made him worse, and one thing that's just true, is that odile will know that isa also saw the weird thing and will talk to them about it and everything.

[mmikmmik]

I feel so bad for sus route Odile. Like... it seems strongly implied to me in her behavior + dialogue that she's thinking like Act 2 Siffrin - making the very reasonable assumption that his time travel is somehow related to some goal he's knowingly trying to achieve. The whole situation with Siffrin being trapped and not realizing/admitting to themself it was because of their own (vague and abstract) wish being "granted" in a way they didn't understand - I don't see any reason Odile would have/could have figured that was part of it.

I mean, in Siffrin's head, they're a mess - they want Odile to figure it out and forgive them and help them, and he wants to hide from (what he perceives as) Odile's inevitable judgment, blame, and contempt. But Odile is not on that wavelength. She's wrong-footed, not knowing what Siffrin has planned (to defeat the King? or save Vaugarde? or protect the party?) and how she might be helping or hindering them, looking at her loved ones and wondering what awful things she might have failed to prevent. It's her last day with her family and she's failing to work up the nerve to admit that she wants to stay with them, maybe can't even admit she sees them that way, and there's this huge barrier between her and Siffrin when she's previously enjoyed understanding them and feeling close to them, and he keeps being so blatantly suspicious and then laughing it off like, what, like whatever hurt them doesn't matter? Like she's stupid or something? She suddenly doesn't know how to talk to them, and she can feel her chance passing, and finally he pushes her too far and all the frustration and worry comes out in an accusatory rant. But at least maybe they can talk about it? Maybe they'll open up about whatever bad future they seem to have successfully prevented? But Odile has just enough time seeing Siffrin's reaction to realize, oh fuck, something is still wrong, they need to talk about this, Siffrin needs help - and then it's over.

[p1nkc4lyps0]

ISAT PKMN trainer assignments

i've been having brainrot recently and i havent really seen people doing pokemon trainer aus, just a lot of pokemon mystery dungeon aus which i think require different perspectives for so i figured i may as well give it a shot.

with my assignments i was making sure to think about actual symbolism and tried avoiding the canon pokemon assignments for a] more of a challenge and b] i havent really seen all of them so if i have picked some of the same pokemon my bad.

SIFFRIN

gimmighoul: tried taking siffrin's coin once, failed, now just hangs around with him and has gotten quite attatched.

minior: a pokemon he's had as long as he can remember. gets a lot of weird looks about it though and has never seen anyone else with one.

chingling: the only pokemon caught in the castle. ding ding!

popplio: what a little clown! a fool! just a litter jester doing a preformance!

hisuian sneasel: basically siffren's dagger. i picked the hisuian one over the johtonian one because it's white.

absol: not a pokemon he had before the loops and has a sneaking suspicion those two facts are related since it seems to remember them to an extent.

MIRABELLE

morpeko: i think mirabelle would like form changing pokemon and also. near the end of floor 3 mirabelle gets like, really annoyed and then eats and is fine. thats what morpeko does.

furfrou: a pokemon with plenty of styles to choose from! she hasn't been able to get it styled recently and while she is getting nervous of it not changing, she has noticed it's happier staying as it is.

indeedee: indeedees are helpful pokemon! often used as servants, i feel mirabelle would relate with this

palafin: a hero capable of change! and paladins tend to fight for a cause, often a religious one like who mirabelle is fighting as a maiden of change.

escavalier: we don't have a fencing pokemon but we do have a lancing pokemon! also the fact a shelmet has to be traded with a karrablast is something

ISABEAU

mimikyu: isabeau is constantly putting up a facade of being a bit air headed, disguisigng himself. i also think with mimkyu wearing a cloak with him being a fashion designer would make this the most stylish mimikyu the world has ever seen

leavanny: this pokemon is known for making clothes from it's silk and any leaves it finds, making it into a clothing maker of sorts, they're also super protective.

bewear: what a big sweetie! aw it loves hugging people, it can also snap your back in two... i feel like this the most fitting attacking pokemon isa with it's bulk, cuteness and hidden scariness [something we see from isabeau when he gets... very protective of the sif nickname]

ODILE

carbink: this was my first thought for an odile pokemon, it's a little rock! and with it's links to diancie, a perfect red herring for what she's studying, they're just native to ka bue. she hardly uses it in battle.

steelix: now this is her attacking pokemon! i know it doesn't cover her primary paper type technically but it does cover her use of rock and scissors type by being steel/ground. i also think she mega evolves it from time to time, for the gems theming.

relicanth: i tried to go with the theme of old pokemon for odile, not generations wise but in the way that relicanth hasn't changed in a millenia. it's also a map, which could be interesting with the island siffrin is from.

bronzong: i can't really explain this one i just think it fits with her character? maybe it's the shape language but it is another old pokemon, showing up in the ruins in arceus so once again, more red herrings for her research.

sinistcha: ka bue is very implied to be japan or at the barest of minimums asia. odile is absolutely a tea drinker to me, this might have been one of her earlier pokemon that came with her when she left ka bue. they also have similar hair

drampa: hahahahah funny grandpa dragon joke~ drampa is reported to burn down the houses of any bullies the child they've befriended, odile has said that she would do horrible things for the party. im not fucking with you. think is not just a odile is the grandma of the party joke. i am dead fucking serious when i say this is her most in character pokemon.

BONNIE

applin: i think bonnie tried to gather apples at somepoint and it turned out to be an applin, they kept it. they seem like the type of kid to enjoy bugs [im counting the none apple bit of applin a bug cause it is to me fuck off]

alcremie: a pokemon evolved completely by accident. their milcery took a strawberry from them while cooking and in an attempt to get it back, span around enough to where it evolved. just some complete loony toons bullshit

yungoose: their first pokemon! caught back in Bambouche and their main defence between themselves and sadnesses when they left. i picked yungoose over some of the other early route mammals because a] tropical and b] i fully believe that bonnie bites people.

unovian darumaka: potentially a gift from the party, more specifically odile who was curious of darmanitan's zen form. it's obviously not a darmanitan yet but it is very useful for lighting fires to cook with.

kantonian farfetch'd: it's basically THE food pokemon being a duck carrying a leek and i opted for the kantonian form over the galarian form since the galarian form is far too cool, bonnie is cringe [/pos]

smolive: cooking oil is a crutial part of cooking are you insane and olive oil is some of them best! very useful pokemon to have on hand and it's slightly more emotionally and nervous natural creates and almost parrallel to bonnie where both end in the same outcome of tears since both are young and not yet capable of fully handling their emotions.

LOOP

gimmighoul: somehow the only pokemon they kept when they gave up on the loops, unsure if it actually remembers the loops or is just a clone...

natu [multiple]: loop can't actually catch any pokemon since, no pokeballs and they'd lose it at the end of the loop. so they've been slowly learning how to befriend all the local natu in dormont, secretly on the hunt for the roundest one. they've found shinies before and would usually be more snappy and blunt after all of those loops due to loosing them. they've gotten good at befriending them all too, being able to tell them apart and what they like. they would never admit any of this though.

[curly4830]

Finished ISAT last night, this game was an emotional rollercoaster from start to end, tbh. I've got a lot of thoughts about the game and they're all pretty short, but I'd like to list some of them here.

The coin is interesting! I think mechanically it's a good way to check Siffrin's internal monologue of the same thing, regardless of area/party status. But story wise, it's a whole other thing to me. Loop and Siffrin have their own kind of Heads/Tails duality, and Odile's coin flip makes me think that it could have/might have been Loop in our Siffrin's place instead, if things had gone just a little differently. Siffrin's forgetfulness being both a foreshadow to his home country AND the potential years worth of time stuck in the loops. and the player's forgetfulness, that too. Another angle I'd like to explore in the future is Siffrin's sprites, and the (possibly intended) idea of taking the growing space covered in shadow on his face as a loss of humanity/the concept of self. It helps take the idea of Siffrin seeing himself as an actor to the next level for me. You could extend this to the Mal Du Pays/Bigfrin sequences being the total loss of self, Siffrin being sent over the edge(and subsequently grounded by his party members). But he made it back! and that's really what matters, isn't it. It's very in line with the literal context of the scenes but I appreciate that the lines are there to be read between, even if not everybody cares to. i definitely think about faces/the self a normal amount, you can trust me i swear. Siffrin clearly did not have enough problems on his own so I had to push my whole faces/sense of self thing on him too. Loop. oh god Loop. I have a lot of thoughts about Loop and their Identity, and it's going to take a while to figure out! but i'm totally fine with that. is it morally wrong to feel a deep kinship to loop?? i don't know!!! i'm gonna find out though. i was actually just recently thinking about how i don't like using the term kinning for characters because it feels very intimate and I can't say i've felt the same thing other people who kin characters feel. BUT. i think loop gave me some kind of disease i think i'm not well I just couldn't do most of the Dagger dialogue. It was too much for me personally. I did it once and it made me feel bad enough to return it and swear off the idea. until i go back to finish achievements, that is. Fucked up, though!! The loops and their infinite catharsis started to mean nothing at all until they make the even more fucked up mega catharsis. I thought Signalis and it's ending hit me hard but this game reduced me to a crying mess by the end. And lastly I'm very appreciative of @usefulnt0409 for being there to help me through the entire game. I like sharing my first playthroughs of things with people that enjoy them. Having them around to help with mechanical stuff I'd never pick up on(Loop dialogues and the conditions associated with most of them) and when I'd accidentally skip a dialogue just made the experience very special. I don't think I'll soon forget this game, it was an incredible experience even through the gas leak 5am vcs. I think they made it better.

[the-bitter-ocean]

Howdy! As you know the lovely @pixxyofice made a timeloop support group au for ISAT featuring mine and other mutuals aus that we made. I wanted to post the writing I did based on the awesome fic that Pix wrote, which you can read here! This writing as well as the Au in general is set post game so full game spoilers are expected.

(The order of the loopers arriving is Odile -> Mirabelle -> Isabeau -> Siffrin) so for chronological order read Odile’s POV first, then Mira’s then, Isa’s POV. WRITING IS UNDER THE CUT:

{ It is 7:07 pm.}

{ You are currently walking back home to your family, carrying a bag of books in your left hand and a bag of fruits in your right. }

{ You are very excited!!}

{ Your whole family is going to read stories alongside you together!}

{ You whistle to yourself happily.}

{ You hadn’t had the chance to do a book club meeting in practically forever- Madame Odile insisted that you wait until your health fully recovered back to normal. }

{ It was a smart idea to listen to her, so you did your best to not over exert yourself.}

{ You knew that she was right but you still couldn’t help feeling anxious and restless during that time.}

{ You hadn’t fully adjusted to the idea of not needing to heal anyone or not being able to do something productive.}

{That initial week was kind of a nightmare in more ways than one!}

{ You cringe a little at the thought of it.}

{ But it’s different now!}

{ You’ve been doing really good lately! }

{…}

{ Some days are easier than others.}

{ None of that matters though! You’re almost home!}

{ You approach the clock tower.}

{ You wish you could be more honest in how you feel with your family.}

{ You wish that your family could be able to truly understand how the loops changed you.}

{You wish for the courage to be able confide in your family again without fear.}

{ You sigh.}

{ There’s no use daydreaming about that now!}

{ This is a new day for you!}

{ There’s no need to think about the loops at all! }

{ With newfound resolve you reach out to open the door and you-}

{ …?! }

{ WHERE THE CRAB ARE YOU?}

{ You look up to see a sign on a building that has “TIME LOOP SURVIVORS SUPPORT GROUP” plastered on the front. }

{ You stare in disbelief. }

{You don’t know where you are. You don’t see anyone familiar. You try not to panic. }

{ You pinch yourself hard, once twice thrice!}

{Your arm is lightly bruised now.. so you’re probably not dreaming?}

{ A familiar dread kicks in and you reach to touch your ears in confirmation. }

{ The crescent moon earrings sway back and forth- going ding ding! }

{ Not in the loops. Probably. Hopefully.}

{ Change please give you strength to not have a meltdown in the middle of nowhere. That would be embarrassing. }

{You breathe in and out slowly.}

{ The quicker you figure this all out, the quicker you can return home.}

{ You can do this Mirabelle! Just go inside and ask for help on how to get home! }

{ You cautiously go inside the building.}

[maryonmega]

Like a heavy blanket

A little feelings buddies moment because they deserve it. And also so I can have Siffrin live one of my fantasies.

The room around you feels cold. Nothing unexpected.

You must have frozen yourself and don't remember. You dreamed of being surrounded by stars. Not on the ground, but up, so high if you didn't know better you could believe they were in your reach.

Back to the stage.

You slice through sadnesses.

You destroy that blinding counter.

You get key after key.

You see visions of your allies.

You reach the King.

Your body feels heavy.

You

You know what comes next.

You would be panting if you could breath.

You wake up in a soft bed. Your throat feels tight.

Clocktower?

No, doesn't smell like the clocktower.

You open your eye. Doesn't look like the clocktower.

You look around.

You're on a large bed between Isa and Mira. Bonnie is clinging to Isa's back for dear life. Odile is sleeping on a sofa just across the room.

Oh, right.

You're in a village. A nice family let you borrow a room. Mira had to insist on them letting your group help around the house as thank you.

And, you were high in the air yesterday. On Isa's back.

It still feels surreal.

Well, it was just a dream! You can go back to sleep! You're so tired, it's gonna be easy.

...

You can't sleep.

Stars, you can't have one easy thing.

You climb out of bed, and slip out of the room, careful to not wake up your bedmates. You're soon out of the house and into their yard. It's cold, but at least this time it's physical. It's not very cloudy. You can see stars.

Despite everything, this is something the loops did not take away from you.

You take deep breaths of the late summer air. It's been a week and a half. It's colder. Time is passing. Why do you still need reminders?

"Still up?"

You need to hold the impulse to jump at Mira's voice. You turn to face her. Still in her sleep clothes and looking tired. Did you wake her up?

"You're up, too."

"Someone got out of bed."

You did.

"Bad dream again. Was facing the King alone."

"Siffrin..."

"It was as if, those past days had been a dream..."

You, can't face her.

She gets closer and stands beside you. You don't mind, but...

"Which is stupid. It's been over a week already! I know the loops are over! Why it's like I don't really get it?"

You feel her take your hand.

"Siffrin, I, uhn..." You look at your joined hands. Her small but calloused hand is grounding "I don't think I really understand, I never got stuck in a time loop, but, I, kind of do?"

Hum?

You finally face her. She's looking away, but in a thoughtful way.

"I mean, I, might feel similar about the King? And the curse?"

!!!

"He's frozen and harmless now, and Vaugard is moving again, and I get to spend more time with all of you! But..." She gives you an awkward smile "I sometimes feel like, it's too good to be true? Too much good stuff happening? Like something bad will have to happen because it's too much good at once? Or, like stopping the King was too easy so there's gotta be catch?"

Hum!

"I had no idea!"

"I know." She's the one looking at your hands, now "Not the most honest feelings buddy."

Oh, no! None of that!

You put your other hand on top of Mira's.

"But you said it now! And... And it does help, to know it's not just me." You rub her hand. This is nice, so nice. You hope it's nice to her, too "Does it help to know it's not just you?"

She smiles, a real one, and nods.

"It does. Thank you for telling me."

Stars, you could bask on her presence forever.

"Good, then!"

You open your arms.

"Can we?"

Mira doesn't hesitate and all but scoop you up. It was, so easy to forget she's strong too. You hug back, feel the softness of her curvy body against yours.

Your mind drifts. You look at her arms. Her smooth arms. Earlier? Yesterday? Hours ago, they weren't smooth at all. And Odile got it all. And didn't even get to appreciate it, too focused on not panicking on top of the lovely housemaiden...

"Can-" oops! Almost slipped!

"Can what, Siffrin?" Oops! Too late anyway!

"Nevermind, it's nothing."

She let's go of the hug to hold your shoulders. The look on her eyes is, not angry, but you know she's putting her foot down.

"No, you started, now finish."

No choice now. Live with the consequences!

"I thought if, uhn, we could, hug, while you're on your dragon form? You don't have to! It's silly! I just, thought back and you looked soft, and-!"

Stop embarrassing yourself!

Mira makes a noise and lets go of your shoulders. You messed up you messed up you-

"Ah, sure!"

What?

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course!" The awkward smile comes back, her hands clasped in front of her chest "I just, don't usually hear that. But, I'm glad, really! That despite not knowing before you don't think I'm scary."

Even if the dragon form itself was scary, you don't think you would be scared knowing it's your friend Mirabelle.

"Just one moment..."

She takes a few steps away.

You watch her form shift.

She’s big, but not the type of behemoth you would see in a book. Her head is about twice the size of a horse’s without the feathers, and the rest is proportional.

She raises a wing.

You raise a hand towards it, and stop.

“Is- Is this fine?”

Mira nods. Still takes psyching up, but you touch her wing.

Up close, you can see that she’s covered in feathers, in a variety of sizes. You run your hand over one easily the lenght from your shoulder to your fingertips, and see that the base have some not bigger than your thumb. There’s smaller ones coating her body, too. Making her look fluffy.

She’s not scary.

“You’re beautiful.”

You hug her neck, and she curls around you, her wing over you, heavy, yet gentle. Her snout touches your back and you lean into the touch.

She's as fluffy as she looks. You can feel even smaller feathers on her neck. A sharp contrast to the scaly feeling snout. It's not bad. Shows you that's still a living being. Still your friend.

She's so warm, too. Like a heavy blanket near a fireplace.

You sink your face into her feathers and inhale. Smell fruity.

"Thank you, Mira."

She rubs her face on you again, and you can't help but smile.

You don't think I've felt safer in a very, very long time.

You close your eye and just take in the feeling.

When you open it again, you're being carried back to bed.

[lucabyte]

i am looking at nohats au 👀 please share more

So! NoHats! I'm going to grab you and use this to ramble. A Lot.

The NoHats AU is @samhainian's it's just that I'm the strange little freak who takes the words said unto me and executes on them. But I can still do a little explainer on what our overall thoughts and vibes are. (And, that we are in fact propping up a little box with some cheese under it here. 🪤 Please (PLEASE) feel free to pick up what we're putting down.)

We're far from the only ones exploring a "what if siffrin fucking died" AU, though the main difference with NoHats is the placement of the death in the timeline. Instead of being 'Mal Du Pays Wins' or 'Act 6 encounter goes horribly wrong', the death is… Just after the (literal) falling action.

(This placement is because Sam is a comic book fan who thus has become used to characters being ripped away at the cruelest times by shitty writers. THANK FUCKING GOD adrienne is not that and isat is delightful yippieee, but, back on topic.)

Giving the party the full understanding of What Happened that you get by putting the death after black hole siffrin, but before the A6 encounter leaves an interesting gap to be filled. See, making Siffrin's death very much not Loop's fault means that… this once again reads (when not read as simply a tragedy...) as the universe doing what it sees fit to fulfull Loop's wish… Thus making Siffrin's death Loop's fault again, but only in their eyes. And only in a way they could express if they were honest about who they were…

And this is where having had excuse to waffle about my general Postcanon Loop thoughts the other day comes in handy, because Sam and I have that as our canon-compliant reading to begin with, NoHats plays off of a lot of the same readings of Loop's character. Namely: Uh Oh Somebody's Lying By Fucking Omission Again. (BECAUSE TO BE FAIR THIS TIME… HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU HANDLE THAT?)

Now, neither Sam nor I are fanfic writers, so this has been a little bit trapped in our heads and DMs (and my unfinished art but,)

But our thoughts on how NoHats like… Goes.

Siffrin's death is peaceful, but that does not mean the aftermath of it is. I can't imagine the party takes it well, especially after understanding the circumstances of the Loops. (And, of note, in A5 where nobody had the discussion on what to do with each other's bodies should something happen…) But I'd imagine it traumabonds them somewhat (understatement of the century) and now knowing how the rest of the party feels, they resolve to travel together for the forseeable future.

The party track down Loop to deliver the terrible news, since they were clearly Siffrin's friend too, and invite Loop along to travel at least long enough to (let them grieve) get the burial over with. Loop, here, can be helpful in knowing what Siffrin would've wanted where the party would be at a loss. Loop, I think, takes a bit of a lead on the funerary aspects of it all, because, um. (Performing rites on your own body, huh?)

Then, as things are after a death, life just… Kind of has to continue on as normal. The party travel, pick up Nille, and get to know Loop as this mysterious new person. Maybe in this situation they might stay in Bambouche for a while to give Bonnie more stability since. They are probably taking it the worst. It would've come out of absolutely nowhere for everyone in the party obviously but god, for a kid? For A Kid?

It should be stated NoHats is not intended to be grimdark, just y'know. An exploration of grief. This is also why it's got a bit of a lopsided focus on Bonnie vs the rest of the party because hhrrhghghhghghhhghhghhh <- incoherent

Now, a crossroads.

How does the party discover Loop to be Siffrin? How long does it take. How much have the party embraced them as part of the family (especially with something as intense to bond over as this)?

There's the Odile option. Have her put it together and have to bring it up somehow. This could also be done by Isabeau, perhaps. He's smart. (which. God. If anything's the real Isabeau Torment Nexus it's this)

Then there's the other option batted around by Sam and I. The: The Universe Dislikes Duplicates option.

The items in the house that fzzt away when inspected. The Universe doesn't like there to be two of something, at least not when they're acknowledged. But one of something is just fine…?

Which is to say. I'm not a personal proponent of 'Loop getting their body back'. EXCEPT …… except this one time.

There's only one Siffrin now, so they don't need to be obfuscated to exist.

Consider, if you will. Loop swallowing their guilt for long enough to be comfortable. Falling back into old habits. Without another Siffrin around to compete for the niche of, they actually begin to act like Siffrin again. Not intentionally, it's just… The party is as welcoming as they've always been. And the party swears they keep catching glimpses of a face under all the light.

Then, one day, while still not fully human again, the resemblence becomes undeniable. Loop having not even noticed until everyone looks at them like they've seen a ghost.

Has it been months? How long have they kept up this lie? Is it even a lie, to them? They're Loop. But they were, once, Siffrin.

Even after explaining it, does that make it better or worse?

Bonnie cuts through the betrayed, struck-nerve reactions with a sobering "I missed you."

… Anyway !

Yeah so that's the vibe for NoHats. As for LoopLoops? That's more nebulous. I think it can go anywhere really in the NoHats timeline. I err personally toward the "Loop continuously replays the last 10 minutes before Siffrin's death almost immediately after they find out and have to parkour their ass up the House in the most distressing situation possible to try and get them to hold on, just please hold on." (Remember! Siffrin can remember the contents of Loop's loop backs in the A6 fight!)

But there is the possibility that this happens months, or worse years down the road. One last Loop back. Throw it all away for the chance to just get that one thing you didn't know you even wanted but now know you NEED.

Misc:

Okay miscellaneous time.

This is where I admit that I have a bunch of unfinished NoHats art that I haven't gotten around to yet because I feel like a right tool being so obviously Loop-Centric with my fancontent (I AM . . I REALISE I AM NOT DOING MUCH TO BEAT THE ALLEGATIONS.) So like if people want to see that please say because euaghghghhfh <- the nervous.

this is like the most fucked up place to do isaloop fr. anyway.

one of Sam's mid-game observations that I'm just going to share for no particular reason is that Bonnie's hair shares a bunch of shapes with Siffrin's. The flick up at the top, the 3 pronged shape of the fringe… just something to think about.

Without 2 Siffrins around to compare each other to it'd likely be a lot harder to notice Loop's similarities. Doesn't mean that those similarities don't sting more in this context though.

If you do NoHats without LoopLoops. The concept of this all fading into memory years down the line while they just have slightly-glowy but otherwise regular Siffrin hanging out is fucked up to think about. Just like real grief. Augh

6. a peek into the original dms as a treat from us