#and i think most. if not all. mentally ill people need to stop being pessimists and demeaning to themselves..

[youredreamingofroo]

maybe it's just me, but I really don't think we should be trying to reclaim "mental health = crazy" or whatever. This is literally why a lot of neurotypicals fucking hate neurodivergents/people w/ mental illnesses, because they assume we're crazy, or that's why they don't interact or engage with us because they think we're insane or crazy.

I think it's fine if you wanna jokingly call yourself crazy, but do not start using that seriously as a way to refer to yourself (a person with a mental illness), because there is an insane difference between someone with a mental illness and a genuinely crazy person and I feel like it's just so demeaning to yourself to call yourself crazy, especially when the last thing mentally ill people need to hear or say to themselves is something demeaning/negative.

[delusion-of-negation]

I loove it when folks say things like "you don't need positivity for masculinity/liking youthful skinny twinks/liking buff guys/so on because the whole world is positivity for that" like in what world dudes??? you think the whole world is like wow you like fucking twinks oh my god that's so cool you're not going to burn in hell?

there's not some like limited amount of queer positivity that we simply must reserve solely for the most in need groups, even if somebody was more accepted than somebody else, but that's a bloody big if in this case. nobody's coming to take your support, nobody's saying you don't need it. this is much like when I said I would like more support for terminally ill people, because the "it absolutely will get better!" mantra is unhelpful, and people say it depresses them to think about things not getting better so they simply can't have people like us "ruining" positivity for them. my ramble about it got mostly chronically ill people, so some began brushing terminally ill people under the rug or saying that same bullshit with a new coat of paint, like "but remember even if you cannot be cured some things will get better, don't give up!" but I subsequently get treated like the one hijacking things and being pessimistic, on my own post that I didn't even put in any tags. it literally just advocated for variety, so then we all had something. people took it as their own opportunity to soapbox about how it absolutely does get better just not how you expected uwu, and I eventually got told maybe I should view dying as better, so I can understand even I will get better, as if that's not fucking horrible response to someone saying "would be nice if I could hear good things sometimes idk", like chin up buddy dying is actually what better looks like for a sad sack of shit like you, hope this helps :).

addiction to infighting and viewing everything on oppressors vs oppressed logic means you treat suffering of others as territory disputes and confrontation and threats. I mean, ffs y'all are after mrbeast atm because he *checks notes* paid for surgery for like thousands of blind people who wanted it, I even saw claims he's refusing to pay for people who wouldn't be filmed which btw are absolutely pulled directly out of that person's asshole, you think goddamn mrbeast sat down to film thousands of people??? bro.

and it really is so similar to when people say physical disability is worse, mental health is worse, chronic is worse, x, y, z. it's fuckt. similarly like when I talked about epilepsy and compared it to an intolerance or allergy, which I have, but people assumed I don't, misread what I was saying, went on the attack. it's so tiresome. I literally was saying both are equally serious, and inflicting what triggers that in somebody is wrong and dangerous, people took colloquialisms as literal translations so badda bing badda boom, ableism against myself apparently. which means I'm oppressor, capable of maximum power, thus deserving of maximum cruel. exactly the same logic t3rfs use to send suicide bait asks to me. oppression olympics, I'm sorry but that's what it is. stop it. you'd honestly be more useful to queer people or disabled people as a completely silent onlooker than as an asshole claiming that your oppressor is a gay man with different tastes, dying people, or an otherwise vulnerable disabled person, or the guy paying for the surgery (who btw did also say the gov should be doing so, like ik apparently the narrative is he doesn't do that but yeah he does).

warped outlooks like these are spreading like wildfire, and you'd honestly be surprised how much they're even infesting irl space, including these weird obsessions with finding any way a person transgressed or sinned, ways you're more deserving of support, absolutely ridiculous leaps in logic and twisting of facts, it's just harmful. to people. you can talk all you want about politics, that community, what's best for the ends, but people are the reason literally any of that even matters to begin with. the rights of gay people aren't abstract, they're not for their own sake, they're not philosophical mental exercise, they are to protect queer people.

aromantic people don't get that the world just isn't pro-romance regarding ace, gay, trans, or poly romance, asexuals don't re sex absolutely not being accepted whenever it deviates, if you're an aromantic or gay or trans person, if you're kinky, etc, and then it doubly is an issue that gay/trans allo/allo people start asking we somehow prove being aro/ace is on par with other forms of this general genre of discrimination, as if being equally suffering has historically determined if people should care about each other. preemptively: look at the flags in my icon, I'm fucking aro. dude. however, I'm also gay af. I fuck men. I am criticising the fact you devour exclusionary rhetoric despite saying "exclusionists dni".

some criticise my lack of paragraphs and image descriptions as something adhd/visually impaired people need, but 1) I'm both, describing is hard for me, and 2) schizo, thought disorder, ocd, various issues make it near impossible for me often, just like you reading that, so just leave my posts alone, go elsewhere. variety. thoughts don't come clearly to me, it's a disjointed mess, and so ridiculous that people expect me to just "do better" and write for whatever way they find easier to read- that'd take literally hours. nothing here is "an excuse", this isn't word games, there's not an ulterior motive, get out of that mindset bro. people are like "your excuses don't make it okay not to accomodate my adhd" - idgaf. symptoms of yours don't mean I can overcome my symptoms. I shouldn't have to keep saying this but variety solves all of these. nowhere did I say allergies get respect/gay people have it worse compared to ace people/terminal people should be thought of literally every time you make a post/etc - I said be nice. bet that doesn't reflect whatever wild interpretations will fill these notes. wouldn't surprise me if somebody is saying I said there's not any cringe or toxic aro people, or that I'm erasing how exclusionists harmed ace people by equating some lame opinions with sheer incomprehensible levels of attack online (I never equated shit in these points, comparable and identical are just not synonyms).

something I think people need to learn is that just because your bullies have been calling you short, doesn't mean they don't call somebody else a tree or ask them how the weather is up there. I understand asexuals are mocked for not being sexual, despite it being the case that I'm mocked for being that; I'm mocked that thoughts naturally come in a disjointed spew, and I simply can't comprehend well enough to edit anything, but I understand you struggle to read that; I need posts that don't talk about better as synonymous with deserving, you need posts that have literally a complete lack of any indication things won't get better for you, I understand how your mind can spiral when you see such things. segmenting our communities further for ultra specficity isn't an answer though, that's isolating - really humans need each other. basically, liking twinks is not accepted just because fat guys are generally viewed as gross by society, so is any gay sex, that's all. whether you like either, we still all like dudes, we shouldn't split.

[ot3]

i was wondering if youre so inclined if u would mind explaining whats so good about disco elysium? all i ever see ppl say is that its communist and theres old gay men which is like. well cool but that doesnt tell me anything about it actually. it seems like a lot of reading but its not like thats stopped me before (<- read all of orv on your reccommendation and hasnt stopped thinking about it since)

disco elysium is just a really meaningful piece of work. For starters, the prose is beautiful when it's not being funny as well, the world is rich and intricate and fully believable, and the characters are deeply compelling. Disco Elysium has you playing as an amnesiac detective coming out of the tail end of a more or less suicidally thorough bender a completely different person. It's up to you to pick what kind of person he is, but you can't choose to be Not a fuckup. You're still just a fuckup. You're always a fuckup.

I really found the way disco elysium dealt with mental illness to be super refreshing and honestly the most cathartic almost any media has been on the subject, for my personal tastes. I find a lot of media where mental illness comes into play leans either too indulgent or too saccharine for me. By indulgent i mean it really wants you to buy into How Sad we're supposed to feel about our character's mental state. And by saccharine I mean stuff that's focused almost exclusively in portraying mental illness in an almost hurt/comfort way, for lack of a better term. Disco elysium is not about the poignant, tragic beauty of mental illness nor is it about taking this character on a journey of Coping and Healing, although you could definitely play it closer to one way or another. Disco elysium is a game about being at war with your own brain and body, but also you still also need to work because. Well. It's your job, dipshit. It's humorous, it's crass, it's completely off the wall, capable of balancing the absurd and mundane in severe extremes to result in the realest feeling portrayal of mental illness I've come across. It handles addiction in what I'm sure is a similar way, but I can't speak as much on that subject because I don't have any firsthand experience with being an addict despite my best attempts to develop some sort of chemical dependency in the last two years.

But also yes, the game is very much about communism. Everyone saying that is absolutely correct but I think it's hard for people who haven't played it to understand just how About Communism it is. The author of the game and the novella its based off of is a self-proclaimed communist from estonia. This is not a western perspective on communism, nor is it a truly soviet one. It's a perspective on communism from someone who grew up in a country that was occupied by the soviet union multiple times and only regained its independence in 1991. It's a really fascinating thing to engage with because it just approaches politics so differently than any western stuff I've seen.

The game is in many ways miserably depressing and wholly pessimistic, but it's not the pessimism of the truly misanthropic doomer, it's the kind of pessimism you find in someone who is looking for any reason not to be pessimistic and just not finding any. It's a narrative that looks into it's main character, and looks into it's own world and is desperately searching for any reason to believe there's hope there and coming up empty handed every time but, god damn it, still looking. I think that right now something with that sort of message is important. It's a piece of writing that says to it's audience 'things are bad and getting worse, and we can't pretend otherwise, but this is your world. live in it.' And also it's really fucking funny. It's really one of those things I think as many as people a possible should experience. You won't find anything else like it in the world right now.

[starlightshore]

hi sorry if this seems a little rude, if chara isn't really bad, then why do they kill them on the soulless route?

(I always wanted to know about it)

(not rude at all! feel free to ask questions like this its no skin off my back) which “them” are you referring to? that could mean different things like: the underground, the player, Frisk ect. its a little vague)

but I’ll try to answer this with the above being vague anyway

---

hoo boy this ended up long LMAO. coming back from the bottom to say Sorry this ended up this lengthy. here’s some

content warnings: discussions of canon and implied dark topics such as: abuse, murder, death, suicide, and self harm

---

TLDR: Chara is a complex character with a rich backstory and motivations. by looking at the full game, you understand they’re a mentally ill child who is just following the player’s directions. YOU do the killing, Chara is your partner in crime because you force them to be.

Chara is the narrator in ALL routes. they are the UI, stats and narration.

it is Chara’s memories that convinces Asriel to remember how they met and how much they loved each other when alive. Chara is key to Asriel freeing the underground, they are a god dang hero

let’s look at canon Chara pre-game to fully understand what’s going on though.

-Chara lived in a village close to mt.Ebott. they decided to climb mt.Ebott for “a not happy reason” and hated humanity

-once underground, they become the sibling to Asriel and become a full fledged Dreemurr. They love their family. “it’s a dusty photo. everyone is happy.” (which, if you believe is the photo of Chara holding the flowers next to Asriel, implies Chara is smiling under them and their bangs) + the Mr.Dad Guy sweater + baking a pie for their dad

-in the underground, there’s the Deltarune prophecy. it reads as follows: “There is a prophecy. The Angel... The One Who Has Seen The Surface... They will return. And the underground will go empty.“

-Toriel and Asgore are both strong believers of the Deltarune as seen by the symbol on their clothes and homes.

-Chara has been to the surface and therefore, most believe Chara is the angel that will free them.

-Chara is a small child, who hates humanity, loves their family, and by fate is destined to free monster-kind. they are determined.

-Chara and Asriel decide to prank Asgore by making a pie with buttercups instead of a cup of butter. They learn the flower is poisonous and Asgore gets sick, but ends up fine. Chara laughs it off, but if one is paying attention to the game, you will see that their is a very common theme of smiling/laughing when distressed.

Toriel smiling, laughing when being killed in no mercy

Migospel’s whole game-play is about how one acts around others vs. alone “ Laughter hides the pain. [Alone]”

sans can be seen as a broad example

a VERY good example is the snowdrake’s mother fight:

“You laugh, and keep laughing. It's SO funny, you can't stop. Tears run down your face. | ... what? You didn't do that? [Laugh]

But it's not funny. [Laugh again]”

-Chara hates humanity (epilogue Asriel says that) and by extension, would hate themself. you can read into the tools being worn down to being blunt + no knives in the kitchen as being precautions Toriel put in place to prevent Chara from self-harming. Chara attempts suicide twice in the game’s story.. Also! It’s implied Chara was abused before coming underground. “ If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard.-faded ribbon flavor text” and the fact Chara thought to kill the villagers in the first place, they didn’t get the “kill or be killed” mindset out of nowhere. + abuse can manifest in depression, anxiety, and Chara displays behaviors of coping with abuse. (harder to explain that detail, but Chara’s control-issues and distrust just SCREAMS abuse to me)

Chara is a kid with severe mental illness, implied to be abused, and all while younger than 13. that’s a lot to take in. which is also why a lot of people are upset at “Chara is evil” theories because it ignores that context and demonizes them. which is. bad. for lots of reasons. but mainly for how it handles the topic of survivors of abuse and mental illness and they’re just a freaking kid.

-anyway, long tangent aside... so this next point is more so how I interpret the order of events: Chara climbs the mountain to die, but trips and meets the Dreemurs. They become beloved by the kingdom and believed to be their savior. Chara can’t escape humanity’s history of trapping monsters or their own history of their horrible village, and when Asgore is poisoned they realize they’re bad too. It’s a common mindset of suicidal people to want to die before their image is tarnished. die while things are still “good,” when they’re still remembered fondly.

to cross the barrier, you need to have a human soul AND a monster soul. if Chara wanted to, they could of killed any of the Dreemurrs and absorbed their soul. But instead, the buttercup plan is a really freaking horrible way to die. Buttercup poisoning is awful. seriously, look up the symptoms. it’s bad. which is also why i believe Chara hated themself so much to put up with that form of death. -then they die, and become part of the Asriel and Chara fusion. (it should be stated they did not know Chara would be conscious.) the plan they agree on is to kill enough humans to break the barrier and free monster-kind, but Chara wants revenge, which is why they want to kill the humans and not negotiate like Toriel suggests Asgore could of done.

-Humans of course freak out at seeing them + their corpse and attack. Asriel realizes Chara was wrong and doesn’t want to murder, lets himself be killed. As they’re dying Chara screams “its kill or be killed” and both die. -years, possibly a century later depending on what side of the time-skip debate you’re on, Chara awakens in Frisk’s body and interacts with You, the player.

-they likely see you as the True Angel, and follow your orders just as Frisk just kinda vibes and does so as well.

-if you keep murdering, frisk distances themself from the world. (implied by what sans says about LV): * LOVE, too, is an  acronym. * It stands for "Level of  Violence." * A way of measuring someone's  capacity to hurt. * The more you kill, the  easier it becomes to  distance yourself. * The more you distance  yourself, the less you  will hurt. * The more easily you  can bring yourself to  hurt others. 

-Frisk, NOPEing out of the whole thing, just leaves Chara, who feels like they are the literal stats of the universe. THAT is why Chara is only really fully present in no mercy, and only narration otherwise. Frisk’s autonomy and how much control they have are directly tied to your LV. Frisk is only named in the pacifist ending because they’re rewarded with the acknowledgement that they’re a person.

-The biggest detail is that it’s not Chara who kills, but YOU. Chara is your partner in crime, and only attacks the player when you refuse to ERASE the world and they kill you themself. it is your power and your determination that brought them to this world, and it is through your actions they believe power is the only they must fight for.

-also, both Chara and frisk are influenced by the player and react differently depending on your actions. (the dog food bag is described as “half full/half empty” depending on your LV, a reference to how one looks at glasses of water to be more optimistic/pessimistic and Frisk will feel good/bad depending on LV when punching the mad dummy in waterfall.) Chara is always just following your lead. they’re not controlling Frisk, you are. however, they are in control of the choices (as confirmed in no mercy you don’t get to choose answers for papyrus’ question and he calls you out on it. personally i like to think each choice answer is from each kid)

anyway yeah that's my overly long analysis of how Chara’s backstory is used to define who they are and then how being revived from the dead, they follow your steps to apply the “kill or be killed” logic to it’s extreme end.

also, its not like Chara is happy about following your orders either.

they think a plant is judging you. they talk about your sins in the sans fight. they call Undyne a hero despite fighting her. Chara doesn’t want to kill Asriel, but once it happens they go ballistic, stabbing repetitively, clearly upset. that then instantly gets them powerful enough to destroy the world, as with how LV is described as distancing yourself and such. Asriel meant the MOST out of everyone, he was their best friend, forever.

[kickasskody]

                          DAKOTA ‘ kody ’ PIERCE, a character study.  “just because i cannot see it, doesn’t mean i cannot believe it.” -- jack skellington

Character’s full name: dakota pierce Reason for name and/or meaning of name: kody’s parents met and fell in love in north dakota, and decided to name their son after the great state 💖 Character’s nickname: kody Reason for nickname: in middle school, kody didn’t think the name dakota was cool. but the name kody, the most generic white boy name ever , was definitely cool Birth date: december 13th, 2002. baby sagittarius 

Physical appearance Faceclaim: austin abrams Gender: cis male Height: 5″8 #shortking Build: scrawny boy body. looks like he couldn’t lift more than 30 pounds... PSYCH!!! he’s a vampire so he can actually lift several hundred pounds 🤪🤪🤪 Eye color: blue with little dark green specks Glasses or contacts?: not with that snazzy 4k vampire sight !! Distinguishing marks/scars: funny little frecklescape on his back that looks like this emoji 😦 Hair color: dirty blonde Type of hair: type 1, aka straight hair Hairstyle: gets up out of bed, looks in mirror. maybe tussles it a little bit. thats it Physical disabilities: none Mental disabilities: adhd Clothing style: sweaters sweaters sweaters. striped sweaters ( because the best time to wear one is all the time ), disney sweaters, sweaters with dogs on them. white collared shirts to go underneath most of them. denim jackets, a couple of them tattering with holes in the elbows. black skinny jeans -- like he owns four pairs of the same black skinny jeans. someone tell him that skinny jeans aren’t in style anymore. uses the same jansport backpack he’s had since the eighth grade with a sewn in epcot center patch on the front pocket. dirty checkered vans. falling apart high-top converse. it’s not that he’s poor and can’t afford new things, he just prefers all his old stuff.  Make up: has never worn any but wouldn’t be opposed to trying some !!

Personality Good personality traits: good at secret keeping, friendly and uplifting, loyal, thoughtful, great memory, cautious, playful. chaotic good energy  🥰 Bad personality traits: gullible, slightly obnoxious, constantly confused, easily distracted Mood character is most often in: cheery, happy as f, practically bouncing off the walls Sense of humor: goddamn hilarious!!! at least he thinks so lol Articulation: loud and occasionally stuttery. repeating himself pretty often. the type to get lost in the middle of conversation and have to take a second to mentally loop back and remember what exactly they were talking about. uses the word ‘ like ‘ way too much. talks with his hands a whole lot. constantly talking like he’s a kooky disney character on a mission. Character’s greatest joy in life: riding a mf’in roller coaster Character’s greatest fear: disneyworld getting blown up / physically hurting someone  Character is most at ease when: he’s curled up with his friends watching a disney movie Most ill at ease when: he’s laying in bed at night, pretending he’s sleeping since he can’t Enraged when: thinking about how there are vampires in bridgemead -- that they could turn other people, kill other people, or worse... harm his friends.  Depressed or sad when: drinking from a blood bag. watching disney pixar’s coco. thinkin’ about a disneyworld churro and how he’ll never be able to enjoy the taste of one again. Priorities: at the moment? trying not to hurt anybody.  Life philosophy: “Keep Moving Forward!” -- walt disney said that Greatest strength: his optimism / ability to take something sad or bad and turn it around! Greatest vulnerability or weakness: giving just about anyone the benefit of the doubt. 

Goals Drives and motivations: getting enough money to be able to travel the world and visit every disney park on the planet.  Immediate goals: graduating high school / helping the scooby gang solve mysteries Long term goals: roller coaster designer / engineer. create a haunted house / rollercoaster hybrid ride

Childhood Hometown: orlando, florida Type of childhood: the kind where he’s an only child, where his middle class parents live to please and spoil him, take him to whatever amusement park he wanted to go to and buy him all the best merch. the smile on his face was worth more than anything they ever could’ve purchased for themselves. kody probably would’ve had siblings, but his parents had complications getting pregnant again, and thus they lived to make sure he had the best life possible.  Pets: a cat named toulouse ( shoutout aristocats ), but he passed when kody was fifteen Most important childhood memory: waiting in line for five hours to ride harry potter and the forbidden journey at universal studios orlando. blew his little kid mind. Dream job: imagineer!! Religion: non-practicing christians. church on easter and christmas ONLY!

Present Current location: bridgemead, massachusetts Currently living with: his parents 💖 Pets: none Religion: agnostic Sexuality: currently questioning his sexuality. growing up he always felt attracted to both boys and girls, but has never been able to articulate it. he’s only ever expressed interest in women, but he has a fat crush on chris evans as captin america Politics: would be socialist if he cared enough to think about politics Occupation/education: bridgemead high school super senior Mode of transportation: his parents dark blue prius!! but only thursday - sunday

Family Parent one: marcus pierce -- drug store manager Relationship with them: kody and his dad are best buds! if it weren’t for his fathers love for rollercoasters, kody doesn’t know what his life would be like today. they used to play rollercoaster tycoon growing up and kody still cherishes those memories today. Parent two: tina pierce -- bridgemead city manager Relationship with them: kody and his mother have a very loving relationship. however, kody’s adoration for his mother dwindled when it was her job that forced them to move to bridgemead. he thinks of it as her fault that he doesn’t get to go to disneyworld anymore, and there’s a bitter part of him that thinks that if she hadn’t made them leave, he never would’ve become a vampire. he knows its wrong to attribute her to his curse, but sometimes when he’s really sad he cant help it.  Siblings: none Other important family members: his widowed aunt shirley who lives twenty minutes from disneyworld and occasionally would join them on their weekend visits to the parks. he misses her greatly 😩😩

Favorites Color: that bright electric blue color on the cinderella castle at disneyworld  Music: electronic Food: a disneyworld churro.  Film: the incredibles / scooby doo 2002 Drink: pink lemonadde mixed with sprite Form of entertainment: disney+ subscription. if that’s all he had, he’d be content. Most prized possession: a magic kingdom two day passport ticket from the 1980′s

Habits Hobbies: playing rollercoaster tycoon / designing rollercoasters on his computer. obsessively watching ghost club paranormal on youtube. bothering aj with the latest thing on his mind that she definitely doesn’t need to know about Plays a musical instrument?: nope. wishes he could though!  Plays a sport?: nope, but would be great at track now that he’s a vampire! How he would spend a rainy day: playing kingdom hearts II in his pajamas. Spending habits: great at hoarding all of his allowance! since he’s not spending it on food, he’s an excellent saver. pre-vampirism kody was not as cautious with his spending.  Smoking/drinking/drugs?: no way 🙅🏼 has yet to even try alcohol Extremely skilled at: cheering up his friends! finding the good in others and convincing them to see it too 🤗 Extremely unskilled at: stopping himself from crying when he’s sad / when he’s in the middle of crying. putting together pieces of their investigations. sure, he can find things -- but what the hell is he supposed to do with them once he’s got it?!?! Nervous tics: anxious picking at his cuticles. messing with his hair. aggressive foot tapping. scrolling through his phone without actually looking at anything.  Usual body posture: that boy has been working on rollercoaster code on his computer for YEARS. his body posture is absolutely RUINED! Mannerisms: constantly talking with his hands. bouncin’ around like tigger when something exciting happens. abbreviating things that don’t need to be abbreviated. the loudest in the room at all times.

Traits Optimist or pessimist? Introvert or extrovert? Daredevil or cautious? Logical or emotional? Leader or follower? Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat? Prefers working or relaxing? Confident or unsure of himself/herself? Animal lover? HELL YEAH.

Self-perception How do they feels about themselves?: before the year 2020, kody actually quite liked himself! he realized that he was goofy and sometimes not everyones cup of tea, but for the most part, he knew he was a good guy who was a little obnoxious! now, he has mixed feelings about himself. vampirism has elevated a lot of his emotions and more often than not now, he dislikes himself for what he’s become, or what he could become if things turn bloody.  One word the character would use to describe themselves: spunky What does the character consider their best trait?: his compassion What does the character consider their worst trait?: his gullibility  What does the character consider their best physical characteristic?: his fluffy hair !! What does the character consider their worst physical characteristic?: that he’s a short king. stream short kings anthem by tiny meat gang How does the character think others perceive them?: he’s pretty sure most people think that he’s wildly annoying, but that doesn’t stop him from being fully himself most of the time!  What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: his vampirism!! get this shit out of him just make him a normal aging boy again!!

Relationships with others Opinion of other people in general: kody is a big ole’ ball of love, and thus so, he tries to share that with everyone. strangers are treated with compassion, acquaintances are treated as old friends, and friends are treated like family. unless kody already knows someone to be a bad person, or is wary of them, he’s genuinely one of the nicest people one could ever meet. Opinion of the Scooby Gang: talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it. Does the character hide their true opinions and emotions from others?: it depends on the topic, but for the most part, yes. when it comes to most scooby gang related endeavors, kody will share his thoughts -- if it’s something related to movies or tv, he’ll be talking your ear off for hours. if it’s something that could result in it hurting someone else, he’ll be quiet, and if his vampirism was ever to come into question, he’d be absolutely be suppressing it.  Most important person in character’s life: oh god, not to pick scooby gang favorites, but probably aj. she’s the closest thing he has to a sister, and he doesn’t know what he would do without their banter, and her support. Best friend/s: aj darke, dylan frye, & arabella byrne Dating experience: absolutely none. kissed 2 girls in the span of 2 years over 3 years ago. Romancing: kody wouldn’t know the first thing about trying to get someone to date him. all he knows is the stuff he’s seen on tv, watched in movies, or experienced around him ( such as his parents successful marriage, or his friends dating people ), but if it were to come down to him, he’d be extremely awkward. picture tom holland’s spiderman trying to talk to zendaya’s mj in far from home -- because that’s extremely accurate. kody isn’t trying to date anyone right now for a couple of reasons: one being that he’s too nervous, and not exactly looking for love, but if it were to happen... he wouldn’t run from it necessarily. but two being that his vampirism creates a bit of a problem for him, and he’s not sure if he should subject anyone to the curse he’s stuck with.

Extra Physicality: if necessary, could probably lift a car and throw it down the street. as of right now, doesn’t know how strong he really is / is more concerned about hurting his friends with this supposed strength than he is finding out how many hundreds of pounds he could lift. kody in a fight? probably losing within the first five seconds, unless bloods drawn and the instinct to pounce takes over. Species: vampire How do they feel about it?: hates it. would do anything to reverse it. wishes he had just stayed a little longer at karma cafe that night. or had never gone at all. How do they look in their supernatural form?: pretty much the same, however when he’s hungry and near blood, his eyes go all dark and bloodshot, and the veins around his eyes start to pulse ( basically just like vampire diaries ), but kody is unaware of this since he’s never seen it happen to himself or another vampire

[bookwyrminspiration]

So sorry for an ask you probably get a lot of, but if wings are determined by personality/outlook and other such factors, what happens to them if a person drastically changes? For example, what would happen if a staunch pessimist started becoming more optimistic? Or if someone who used to lash out violently or loudly because of past trauma eventually overcome that and could learn to really explain how they feel without needing to lash out anymore? Sorry for such a long question, this AU is just really really interesting!! (And also, would the wings therefor be influenced by mental illness like depression or anxiety? Sorry for all the questions, this is all just really cool!)

Hello Nonsie!! No ones actually asked that before, so let’s get into it!!

Looking at it from the perspective of my own au, that’s probably pretty unlikely because most of the characters already have very set personalities in canon and I’m trying to mimic that in my own writing.

However!! If it were to happen, I’d imagine it would be a gradual change. Changes in personality and outlook aren’t immediate shifts, so it would subtly change until one day they realized their wings didn’t look anything like they used to.

You know how some kids have light hair growing up, but when they’re teens/adults it’s much darker? It’s that kind of subtle shift. The kind you can’t see day by day.

As for the lashing out thing, they might learn to view their wings in a different light and they might not change at all. Let’s say someone who lashes out a lot has very sharp talons at the tips of their wings, which they thought mimicked how they attacked the people around them, and they viewed it as an offensive weapon, but as they become calmer, they realize it’s a protection instead. It a defensive weapon.

And for the mental illness aspect, it could go either way, and likely is different for each individual. Maybe the color/luster of their wings is dull, the black less vivid, the pinks more washed out and faded. Maybe their feathers are more unkept. Mental illness affects so much of a person, I’d think it would also impact their wings. I’ll stop here for now because this is kinda long but I could go into more detail if you’d like!!

And please don’t feel the need to apologize, it’s really not necessary!! I love knowing that other people find the content I’m making entertaining and exciting, because I really enjoy writing it!! I could talk about this au forever, and I likely won’t shut up about it anytime soon because I’m really close to being able to release the first chapter!!

You: it’s all really cool

Me: 🥰🥺🥺🥰☺️💜💜🥺🥰

[skyeofloxlay]

Personality / Brief history / important things about MC / Reader for my fanfics or when I make requests.

Okay, I decided to do this more for myself when I make a request to someone, but this is also useful to let you know a little more about the MC / "reader" of my fanfics.

The MC is a cis-woman of almost 1.60cm in height, (age may vary) but generally the age will be between 20 and 23. She is heterosexual/straight (I don't know if there is a difference between the two things, but I don't understand why I would have two words for the same thing) and usually in fanfics she has never had a boyfriend before the character she will be together with (be it Jake (Duskwood), Jason (Todd), Spencer (Reid) or any other character). 

She was born in Brazil and lived a large part of her life there, and depending on what story she is in, she makes an interchange trip abroad because of college, and because of that she lives far from her family and lives alone, but she has her faithful companion, a male Schnauzer dog (his name in fanfics is undetermined.)

MC has always been a lonely person, because after several events in the past she does not trust people easily, and the only people she does trust are her family, but she still has trouble talking about her problems to them.

Furthermore, MC is a very shy, introverted, anti-social person and suffers from social phobia, which of course, is a perfect combo to be an alien in society and not be able to make friends, even if she wants to.

MC also doesn't know where it all started from, but she does know that she has probably suffered from anxiety for many, many years, even though she only discovered it a short time ago, and went to get help even less time ago.

Because of anxiety, she ends up being stuck in her own world, or I should call it, hell itself. Her mind is a mess, bad, unreal and meaningless thoughts invade her mind all the time, and because she has been this way for so long without help and not knowing what to do, her situation has worsened to the point where her anxiety starts to change into a depressive anxiety.

However, as much as she has been suffering with her own mind for years, she can always count on her family whenever she needs them, even if they are distant from each other, they are inseparable. 

Her father, as much as he doesn't understand most of the things she goes through, supports her and wants the best for MC, and so he does what he can to help MC pay for psychological treatment, and even though he doesn't understand, he always makes her smile and laugh, even when the situations are bad, even though he was always busy because of work, he always did what he could to be together, even in the simplest things, like family lunch, playing video games, watching movies, shopping together.

Her mother, on the other hand, has been through similar things like MC, and always try to help her the way she can, always speaking encouraging words, helping MC to do her things when she couldn't, sleeping next to the MC when she couldn't sleep because of anxiety, always being by her side, always supporting any decision, no matter the situation, MC's mom will always be there to hear her, either to hear about something that MC wants to do a lot or when she has some fear. 

And there is also her younger brother (3 years younger), as much as they ended up arguing for silly things, he is her best friend, maybe her only true friend, always having fun together doing what they like, protecting each other, always being one for another, even when it was not known which words were right to say.

MC is blessed to have such an amazing family, and as much as she couldn't say "I love you, you are everything to me" to them, she loved them with all her heart and soul, and she couldn't say what would happen to her if she lost them, but probably something really bad would happen.

As much as it seemed that MC doesn't care about other people, maybe looking selfish and boring to others, she cares a lot about others, but she knows that this is also one of the big reasons why she suffers from anxiety, caring for others more than for herself, and for her own mental health, she had to try not to think so much about the problems of the world that she cannot solve. 

Some people may think that she was wrong in doing this, but she wanted to have some sanity, even if little and trying to recover, than to go crazy with things that are impossible to fix, at least impossible for her to fix.

(Some other things about MC, but now simpler, because I'm out of time and too lazy, help me)

- Very distracted

- Very clumsy

- Nerd

- Dreamer / lost in her own world

- Impulsive

- Impatient

- Think too much about everything

- Studious

- Lonely

- Forgotten

- Problems with deadlines, do everything at the last minute.

- Avoid fights / arguments with people she doesn't know, but if it's someone close and it's a silly fight, she'll defend that she's right until the end, if she's wrong in the fight, she'll just be quiet for a while. If it is a serious fight, she will argue for some time until the tears stop her from continuing, and then she will be silent for a long time.

- Too stubborn

- Sarcastic with the closest people

- Always try to look for the good in people, but it is impossible for her to achieve kindness in certain people.

- Pessimistic

- Very sensitive / hurts / cries easily

- Perfectionist

- Very insecure

- She cannot express in words what she feels for other people

Likes:

Chocolate

Coffee

Rainy days

Winter

Music (Mainly, pop and  rock)

To drive

Flowers

Taking pictures (mainly of landscapes)

Animals

Old things, like things related to the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s, or things from centuries ago

History

Books

Learn things

Horror stuff (games, books, movies)

Mystery

Horseback riding

Nature

Farms

See the city lights at night

Night

Games (both video games and board / cards)

Comics, Movies, Series etc about Superheroes

Mexican food

Travel

Psychology / Understanding the human mind

Buy drawing materials and books (even though she will never use / read them)

Big clothes

Wind

Ride a bike

Explore Abandoned Places

Dislikes:

Summer

Hot days

Insects

Spiders

Her mind

Who annoy her

People fighting

See things or people comment on things related to death or illness

Having to be patient

Who speak ill of her family

Working in a group

That people belittle her feelings

Parties

People

Delays

Alcoholic beverages

Buy clothes

Make up

High heels

Short dresses

Physics

Fears / Phobias / Things that bother her:

Spiders

Falling / High height

To drown

Die

Getting seriously ill

Dark / Night

To sleep

People

Speak in public

Losing her family

Stay alone

Crowds

Closed places

Tight clothes (Because she feels they are suffocating her)

Arrive late

Forget things

Having a car accident

Never be loved / Stop being loved

Future

May her fears come true

Skills:

- To draw

- Write

- Cook

- Game programming 

- Sing

- Play keyboard and guitar

- To compose

- To dance

Hobbies:

Basically, it's her skills + reading + playing video games + taking pictures of the landscape.

Job:

Usually she either works as a waitress in a coffee shop or works in a supermarket (working at the checkout or replacing products on shelves)

As much as many find it strange, MC is very happy in her work, and does not mind working in "simple" jobs (basically jobs that earn little), and as much as she doesn't have much money, just enough to live reasonably well, she is happy with what she has and doesn't care about the money.

College: 

She studies digital game design

I think that's it, there are some other things that I only do when I'm writing specific situations, for example, MC's opinions on certain subjects, and honestly I don't have time at the moment to make the MC's different opinions, and just say that she tries to be as neutral as she can, because she knows that extremes are never good, and that when asked which side she is in a situation (depending on what it is, but usually she says), she says doesn't have a side because it doesn’t identify herself by either side, because both are extreme, and this usually leads people to think that it’s on the fence, but it’s not like that, it’s more or less. "You were teleported to a place, there are two paths, one on the right and the other on the left, at the beginning of each of these paths there is a person, each talking about their paths and talking about why their path is the best of than the other and why you should follow their path. And then you must make a choice of which path to follow " But MC does not agree with either side, and will not wait there to see which side gives her the best benefit as many would do, she goes there and moves on, where there is no path, where there is no one, because she doesn't want to be on anyone's side, she wants to make her own opinions, and not follow what a group is saying. 

Oh, and one of the philosophies she follows is of yin and yang, which says something like "There is good and there is evil, both need each other to exist, there is no good without evil, and no there is evil without good, and that nothing can be completely good or evil, since, however small, there is evil in good, and there is good in evil. "

Some phrases she would say:

"You can say anything about me, but don't come and talk about my family"

"I can't always do it, but I always try to be balanced, because I know that nothing comes out of extremism, no matter which side."

"I'm a Christian, I may not have proofs but I believe in God, but I don't believe everything in the Bible because it was made by humans, and I know that many of them used and still use people's faith to do very bad things . "

"Sorry, but I suck at remembering names, in fact, I suck at remembering."

"Shit, I knew I was forgetting something."

"I hate logic, most of these things don't make any sense!"

"At least I have you with me here DN" (DN = dog name)

"There is nothing that is not so bad that it cannot get worse"

"I think I celebrated too soon"

"I sleep! But no matter what I do, I will be forever sleepy!"

"No matter what I do, my thoughts disturb me from the moment I wake up until bedtime, and even while I'm asleep. And it happens every day."

"Sometimes ... I think ... people would be better off if I didn't exist. I just hinder and hurt people." 

"I don't know when or how it started, I just know that I have been scared forever"

"I don't do it because I want to! It's not my fault if I'm easily distracted"

"I think writing is the only way to say what I feel"

"Yes, I know, I'm crazy, you don't have to tell me that"

"I'm not a normal person. Maybe I'm not even a human? What if I'm an alien and I don't know? A synthetic human? A robot with high artificial intelligence that is identical to that of humans?"

"I don't like to be afraid, but I love to see and read horror stuff."

"I love old things, they are so fascinating"

"What day is it today?"

"I just wanted to have a little courage that other people have"

"I have no hope of anything, as always, every time I had hope, very bad things happened, close people and pets died when I had hope that they would survive. For me, hope has long since died."

"I think, in a way, I am a miracle, just like my brother. I mean, it was almost impossible for my mom to have a baby, and look, here I am."

"I'm not cute!"

"I'm not short, I'm average height, it's the rest of the people who are very tall"

(Maybe I wrote a lot? Did I overdo it?)

Sorry if there is something confusing or errors in English 

[nightmaresorpromises]

🍄✨💐

OKAY THIS GOT REALLY LONG BC I FEEL THE NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF SO LIKE IM SORRY LMFAO. Also pls no one yell at me I’m just saying how I feel and what I think, I recognize that everyone will have different views/opinions/experiences and that I can only speak based on my own. I am not a doctor

🍄: do you support self diagnosis?

This is kind of a difficult question, I know most people hate the self diagnosis stuff, but personally I think their are certain mental health issues that you can become aware of without a medical diagnosis.

That being said, many mental health issues and disorders are incredibly complex and I think those DO need a medical diagnosis, especially since from what I understand a lot of disorders can mimic and or cause symptoms of other ones.

So for me personally, my eating disorder, anxiety, and depression (which I honestly don’t call that I just say I’m depressed bc I’m not medically diagnosed?) are all self diagnosed, but I’ve seen myself develop my eating disorder and was willing to die for it, I frequently have anxiety attacks to the point I feel like I’m going to faint and I can’t breathe, I’m terrified to order my own food sometimes because of the social interaction, and I’m borderline suicidal and struggle with self harm as a result. So like? I feel, I don’t want to say justified because that sounds kind of wrong, but I feel okay in going “I have these issues, and this is what I struggle with”

but I don’t think I’d ever self diagnose with something complex like bi polar disorder, borderline personality disorder etc, because those are much harder in my eyes to determine, or understand without a medical diagnosis. (Obviously that’s just my opinion and example as someone who A.) doesn’t have the option to get medically diagnosed regarding my mental health issues and B.) who has never struggled with any of those disorders or known anyone who does.)

So like? I’m definitely not pro “identify with whatever mental health issue you have a symptom of!” But I also think to an extent individuals who struggle with their mental health can have enough sense to go okay, this is my life, this isn’t healthy or normal, I’m struggle with these things so maybe I’m dealing with anxiety, or whatever else.

But I understand the frustration around self diagnosis because you obviously have ignorant people going “omg lol I can’t focus on this thing I totally have adhd or add” or “lol I got so angry out of nowhere! Clearly I’m bi-polar” and like... I won’t even get into that. *facepalms*

💐: do you believe in recovery?

This is hard for me. I guess yes and no.

Yes because sure there are things you can overcome, and recover from like addiction, and eating disorders, and there are things you can treat like depression and other mental illnesses,

But no because (pessimistic bitch over here sorry) at the end of the day you’ll still struggle with those things. So you can get better at coping, you can get treatment, but even for me personally now that I’m no longer restricting my food unhealthy, and I’m not terrified of food, I still get ED thoughts, I still get triggered. Like the mental health issue is always going to be in the background of your mind and you’re still going to have to deal with it, even if the strain isn’t as harsh because you’ve gotten better and developed a healthier way to handle it.

So I guess that depends on your definition of recovery. Of course I believe in getting better, and not having your issues hit you as harshly even if they still lurk in your mind.

But, part of me despises the fact that a lot of those issues are still gonna lurk. (I guess I don’t believe in being “totally cured!” Or whatever ? Idk)

But that’s just my take on it, everyone’s different and everyone’s issues are different. And obviously getting better through treatment and developing better coping mechanisms and whatever else can greatly help you and ease your struggles. So it gets easier, and I guess that’s what recovery is supposed to be about. Getting better even if you aren’t “cured”

✨: do you have any advice to others (especially young people) about how to recover?

Oh god. Okay so like, as someone who hit rock bottom at like 15 emotionally I think one of the biggest things is you have to want to recover.

And to a lot of people that sounds obvious but it got to a point where I, and a lot of my friends who struggled with their mental health stopped wanting to get better.

If you’re going to recover, you need to want it. Not necessarily be ready, because you might never feel “ready” it’s a huge jump, but you have to WANT it. Or else no help or advice will ever reach you, and you won’t give an honest try to do whatever it is you need personally to recover.

2.) you have to be willing to change in whatever ways are possible and necessary, because obviously there are things such as living situations that you might not be able to change giving your situation. But the things you can change like how you respond to situations, who and what you surround yourself with (social media, toxic friends, toxic online communities etc) you have to be willing to cut those out.

And obviously, that’s easier said then done, especially when you may already feel alone and like cutting them off will only add to that lonliness, but guys, you have to do it. And I know it’ll be hard at first but getting rid of those toxic relationships will lift a weight off of your shoulders and I promise you will make new friends. Shit like that happens when you least expect it and it’s annoying and weird and dumb. But cut out that toxic shit in your life.

Overall change though, if you don’t like the way you treat people take a step back and go “okay why do I react this way? Why do I treat people this way?” And don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t attack yourself seek to understand it, and that will enable you to then go, “okay how I respond isn’t fair, how can I change that?” And that goes for how you treat yourself too. If you can change those negative thoughts, behaviors and treatment to both yourself and others it will help your mental state a lot.

3.) patience and understanding I guess? I’m sure there’s a lot of feeling like you might be a horrible person out there, a lot of anger and pent up frustration with yourself and the world because of all the shit you’ve had to deal with and like, those feelings are justified, but you should also be patient with yourself and understand that people do stupid, cruel, fucked up shit. We make mistakes, we treat people kinda poorly, but don’t destroy yourself over it.

Understand or seek to understand why x y z is happening and use that to do what you can to change the situation, even if it’s scary or hard. You can regret actions, but regretting them forever won’t help you grow or get better it’ll only make you sink ya know? So like, accept how you’re feeling, but don’t succumb to it, and work to change the negative behaviors or energies that surround you.

Oh my god okay 4, and like SUPER FUCKING IMPORTANT. DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANYONE. Stop IT. NO ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Where you are is based on your own path, and you’re on your clock not anyone else’s. Everyone has so many different experiences it’s impossible and not fair to sit and judge yourself based on someone else’s capabilities.

Because we all have different experiences while you may be struggling to learn how to respond or handle social situations, which might be something others know how to do, those same people might be struggle to process grief and loss, which maybe you experienced already and learned how to handle.

(Idk if that makes sense,) but basically like, you’re where you need to be in life and you’re learning what you need to learn when you need to learn it. We aren’t all on the same track. Some of us are learning things our friends learned at sixteen, some of us are working towards things 35 year olds haven’t gotten to yet. Everyone is different and because of that we are going to have different experiences. Different bodies, different personalities, different struggles

And that’s OKAY that’s how we’re supposed to be

(Thanks for coming to my I just woke up and chugged coffee ted talk. Obviously take everything I say with some salt, those are just my opinions and views and I understand that they won’t be helpful or apply to everyone and their situation. I’m just trying to explain how I see or feel about things given my life. Obv I’m not a doctor or anything I’m just a college student no one come for me thank you I’m sorry have a nice day)

[zorilleerrant]

i’m so tired. i’m so tired of everything going wrong. and i’m so tired of being told that while everything is going wrong that i have to be soft about it. that i have to be quiet and polite and good.

because my world has shrunk to the pinprick of whatever i can force myself to read or watch or listen to that day, and i can’t subsist on the saccharine fictions of imagined worlds where my pain is ignored. let me have my dark endings where nothing turns out right. let me have my flawed characters who just become more flawed. let me have my worlds upon worlds of empty, soulless hate where no one steps up to help anyone else. let me have, at least, an acknowledgement that the 1960′s did have racists.

because getting out of bed is too hard most days, and i haven’t even stepped out my front door in months, and i don’t need yet another list of get sunshine! do yoga! say an affirmation to yourself! let me have my dark jokes. let me have my diatribes about how things turn out poorly over and over again. let me have my pessimistic predictions and my hopeless poems and my paintings of things going wrong. let me have, at least, a post saying this sucks without blaming me for my own mental illness.

because the fear was always there and the anxiety got too great too fast and the depression suffocates it all in a too warm down comforter and the anger is the only thing that ever cuts through that stranglehold. let me have my petty quibbles with the sunshine posse. let me have my morose ponderings on things you think would otherwise be happy and fun. let me have my tears over how things got this fucked up this soon. let me have, at least, my anger at bigots.

stop making everything this historical fiction novel has no homophobia at all and your characters should only have flaws that stem from how wonderful they are and you should only care about the people who might be helped, and not who you’re positioned politically against, no matter how big or how faceless that enemy is. let me have my rage against the historical machine. let me have my empathy for the deeply fucked up hero who tries and tries even though it never turns out right. let me have the six little words that help me feel like it’s possible to fight back.

let me have, at least, a break from the always, always, always

[xxyvonxx]

“I realized that if my thoughts immediately affect my body, I should be careful about what I think. Now if I get angry, I ask myself why I feel that way. If I can find the source of my anger, I can turn that energy into something positive.” – Yoko Ono

A fact about life that we quickly learn is that energy ebbs and flows. Something else that we learn quickly is that outside influences can affect our energy state. Positive energy is absolutely contagious, but so is negative energy. It’s this understanding that allows us to be proactive in determining our state of mind and energy.

Energy also has a multiplier effect. If we are in good spirits and in a positive state of mind, we’re much more likely to remain in this state. But then again, the same applies for negative energy. This is why it’s so important to vigilantly guard ourselves from being sucked into a “vortex” of negativity.

For those that have been in a negative work environment, for example, they’ve felt the underlying tension and collective unhappiness that permeates a group of people. It’s no coincidence that over 75% of people disdain what they do for work – many workplaces are dreaded by the vast majority that occupies it.

Unfortunately, a cycle of negativity happens to nearly everyone. The great thing is that we can all learn to clear this energy. Ask any advanced practitioner of meditation or mindfulness – these people are masters at not allowing their environment or other circumstances to dictate their frame of mind.

With that said, let’s discuss some signs it may be time to clear away negative energy. We’ll also provide some advice on what one can do to counteract the effects of negativity.

HERE ARE 6 TELLING SIGNS IT’S TIME TO CLEAR NEGATIVE ENERGY:

1. CONSTANT COMPLAINING WHEN IN A CERTAIN SITUATION

Certain situations can invoke more toxic energy than others. The workplace is probably the most common environment where this happens. It can also be in a relationship or while in the company of certain people. These folks find complaining to be a form of relief and a way of “blowing off steam.”

Solution:Get out of the situation ASAP

Simply put, complaining drains our positive energy and replaces it with negativity. Whatever situation that may be causing us to take on a more pessimistic, gloomy outlook should be expelled from our lives. If the workplace happens to be the source of this negativity, refuse to become absorbed by the complaining of other people. If we find ourselves complaining, we should refuse to engage in such thoughts.

2. CONSISTENT FEELING OF BEING ANGRY OR ON-EDGE

When anger becomes a persistent emotion, it’s detrimental to our physical and mental health. The stress caused by feeling angry or on-edge surpasses that of any other emotion. Therefore, it’s important to either eliminate or minimize anger through taking some kind of action.

Solution: Become emotionally aware

We all have the ability to identify and label an emotion before it takes hold. We do this by actively monitoring our emotions and taking action if necessary. Taking ownership for our thoughts and feelings is the first step. Then, we need to relax our body and mind in order to ward off the “fight or flight” response. Finally, assess what prompted these feelings and take the appropriate action.

3. PERSISTENT FEELINGS OF ANXIETY AND/OR DEPRESSION

Feelings of anxiety and depression are among the most two commonly reported symptoms in the world. Physicians are seen by people suffering from anxiety and depression more than all other illnesses combined. Constantly feeling anxious or depressed is a force of negative energy that needs to be addressed.

Solution: Practice mindfulness meditation

While doctors are all too eager to prescribe some kind of anti-depressant or anxiety drug, it’s often not necessary. In fact, The Journal of the American Medical Association (or JAMA) published a groundbreaking study that found meditation to be as effective, if not more so, than prescription medication in the treatment of anxiety and depression.

4. INTERACTIONS WITH PEOPLE BECOMING DIFFICULT OR EXHAUSTING

When we’re in a negative cycle, normal interactions with other people can become mentally, physically and emotionally taxing. This is because we’re too wrapped up and engaged with our own inner monologue to accommodate the added stimulus brought forth through conversation.

Solution: Practice active listening

On the surface, this may appear to be somewhat of a strange recommendation. However, the practice of active listening is beneficial in a couple of different ways. First, the practice diverts our attention outward as opposed to inward, which is where the negative energy lies. Second, it can effectively replace the underlying anxiety encountered by making us more prepared (to respond, ask questions, etc.)

5. INCREASINGLY BECOMING MORE CRITICAL OF SELF AND OTHERS

Negativity has a deviously deceptive effect on how we view ourselves and others. The simple explanation is that negative energy requires a release and since we’re often among others, people become easy targets. When we’re alone, this negative energy can often cause us to critique ourselves down to every last perceived flaw.

Solution: Recognize and then stop

As with so many other forms of negative energy, criticism has a multiplying effect. When we’re actively criticizing ourselves or others, we’ll often just function off auto-pilot, effectively ceding control. In recognizing and labeling the presence of criticism, we take back this control. We can then refuse to engage with the fruitless thoughts and emotions that criticism summons.

6. SEEKING ISOLATION MORE FREQUENTLY

When caught up in a negative energy cycle, many people have the desire to isolate themselves from loved ones. While some alone time is healthy, it’s not healthy to experience a sudden desire for seclusion, especially if this was not the case before.

Solution: Knowing that people care

Perhaps the most unfortunate effects of being in a negative cycle are the feelings of separation from everyone else. This often results in family and friends becoming increasingly worried about the state of their loved one. Understanding and acknowledging the love and concern felt by those close to us is often enough motivation to reciprocate those feelings, as difficult as it may be.

[j4nn4s]

omg so i applied to a job with a writing sample from one of my skam essays and tbh i think its okay enough to post so if ur interested in lengthy 2000 word meta on one of my fave skam themes read below :~)

Right out of the gate, the series opens with a monologue about capitalism and economic politics. The very first line begins a discussion about "market liberalism" and "moving towards world trade." The fact that they chose to use such a political method to captivate their teen girl audience in its first initial seconds speaks to how much regard they have for their demographic. From the start, SKAM goes against common high school show tropes while never once underestimating those watching it. It is way too common of a mistake for shows with this demographic to make, further giving the genre a bad name. 

Continuing with this opening scene, a monologue is read as handmade videos depicting common adolescent antics is displayed. This illustrates the speech while also somewhat referencing the delinquency that’s often displayed in similar shows such as Skins. This speech leads smoothly into the show with it being a school assignment that Jonas, the boyfriend of the season’s protagonist (Eva), is reading out loud. The placement of this serves as an introduction to the series at large while also communicating the level of introspection the show is ready to engage with. 

This monologue introduces a pattern of reflection on aspects of life and our indirect and direct connections to the people around us that foreshadows the themes of the show. As we finish this first season and complete the following three, there are three central themes that are introduced: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone. In a series of three essays, I will be going into each of these with more depth, starting with the former. When I think about where I was in high school as I watch this show, these were the three key points I needed to hear the most. It is much too easy to focus on our particular frame of view and make assumptions on others’ behaviors, not realizing that there might be reasons for these actions that we will never understand. We cannot read minds and we do not know of all the events happening in someone’s life that leads them to make that decision. 

This major theme is first illustrated when a girl, Noora, notices Eva upset after an altercation with another girl. Noora does not know its context and why the other girl had called Eva a slut or why it affected her so much. But she understands that she is hurt by it, and that no matter the context for the comment, being called a slut can hurt. So, she approaches her and as a human, tries to lighten up her night with a lighthearted remark, which introduces herself to her. She noticed that the girl needed a friend and she offered that to her. Through this little action, making sure someone is okay when they’re hurt, there was a domino effect. Eva went to the toilets after and in there she noticed a girl crying, as she was hurt herself. Because of those small seconds of kindness Noora offered, Eva subconsciously passed that on and went to make sure that that person was okay and if she needed a friend. That person, Vilde, gave her a name and Eva went on a mission to find that girl. That girl, Chris, eventually found Vilde. Eva ended up bringing the wrong person, but through this, she became introduced to people she had not known before. Vilde and Chris eventually thanked Eva for that night and Noora and Eva kept up their correspondence. In addition to Sana, who was later introduced to everyone via Chris who saw her as very funny, the five all eventually became friends.

Every time I reflect on this first encounter between those first four characters that lead to them all being friends, it deeply touches me. Because in these vulnerable moments, they all needed friends. Eva did not have friends because of a falling out with her best friend. Noora did not have friends because she just moved to Oslo. And Vilde and Chris were thrown out of their friend group for various reasons and only had each other. And through practicing “radical empathy” (as Rebecca Patton from Reel Honey describes it) and being there for someone who needed it most, they were able to create something so beautiful and positive. 

One reason that made SKAM blow up in the first place, and why it is sincerely the greatest show of its genre, is because they get humanity right where it is least expected: a show about high school. We don’t expect to feel so connected to the characters and for our feelings to be heard and displayed on screen, staring right at us in the face. Our feelings are so complicated, always, but especially as teenagers when we are coming into our hormones and learning about ourselves. And SKAM does a brilliant job of capturing that. We see the main characters in such a vulnerable state at the very beginning of the series and we also see a sequence of events (including in the following episodes) that help them out of this vulnerable state. In its first episode, SKAM teaches its audience unconditional compassion towards strangers. It is beautiful.

Julie Andem expresses the theme of ‘not knowing what others are going through’ again later in season three, though with a more subtle example. In episode five, there is a scene where Isak, the season’s closeted protagonist, and Even, his love interest, discuss Isak's mom's mental health. Essentially, Isak made some not so pleasant remarks. Later on, Even got back together with Sonja, his girlfriend, causing Isak to be very hurt and upset. Andem uses this scene to communicate the idea that you often don't see why people do the things they do and only, instead, see their actions — which we all judge from our own point of reference (like, how we would personally have come to that action ourselves.) This leaves a gap in understanding that is filled with our own judgement that can affect how we respond to that said action. Because the viewer is so skewed in Isak's perspective, we are left just as confused and hurt as he is. All we see is Even's action without fully realizing or considering why. Knowing what we find out later in the season, it can be inferred that he was hurt by Isak's words about people with mental health issues, as he suffers from this himself. He simply went back to what felt comfortable to him — the rocky relationship he has with his girlfriend. However, it is challenging for the viewer to come to this conclusion on their own. This is because one, when the two had that conversation about Isak’s mom, Even didn't come across as upset in the moment. So to us, we are lead to believe that everything is fine, just as Isak does. And two, all we see is his action: him kissing and going back to his girlfriend. We share Isak's pain because we understand why he would feel that way, as we have been with him this entire time. Yet we don't initially feel the same way towards Even as we can only judge him by his words and actions and have already made judgements based on those. 

Andem takes on this complicated task of portraying this very human phenomenon in a quest to make the audience better understand the people they love. She understands that people will put themselves in the protagonist’s shoes when they watch this show and she wants us to learn as much as she wants her characters to learn. Later in the season, Isak discovers Even has bipolar disorder and he reacts a bit poorly at first, but it is because he is uneducated. The only thing he knows about this disorder is what Even’s (at this point) ex-girlfriend tells him, which is highly skewed because she uses her words to achieve a desired outcome: to get Isak to stay away from him. And it works. Until he becomes educated by his friend whose mother has the same mental illness herself, he realizes the disorder does not change how Even loves him. The audience might not have experience with people with bipolar disorder and so Andem takes this opportunity to teach us — as well as her character — how to better understand the people around us. How to better understand strangers. How to better understand friends who might have this, too. These kinds of stories is what I enjoy so much about Julie Andem’s writing; the reason why it is so brilliant. She genuinely tries to understand humans and teenagers through her writing and uses this platform to give her audience lessons that they can bring into their own lives. She displays our personal situations on screen and accompanies it with a solution, so we are able to take it with us into our own lives. [If anything, this is the entire goal of the series.]

In fact, she calls this phenomenon out by name in season two. Noora, that season’s protagonist, sees her boyfriend, William, engage in an act of violence, something that goes against her morals. She seeks Sana’s advice, revealing that she might reluctantly break up with him over it. She says that although she wants to be with him with every ounce of her being, she says she cannot if they disagree on those principles. Sana notices her reluctance and how much she likes him. In that moment, Sana delivers one of the most important quotes of the series itself: “If you haven’t even made an attempt to understand the one you love, then I’ll be pessimistic on behalf of the whole world.” For so much of the season, the idea Noora had of William was hindering the reality of how he actually treated her. On a surface level, the two might disagree about the topic of war and violence. But if you love someone that much, it is worth having those hard discussions. We should not give up on the people we love because of a disagreement on an issue. If we stop seeing the humanity in people, especially our loved ones, we are doomed as a society. This is a tough concept to tackle with adults, let alone teenagers. However, Julie Andem understands how necessary it is to portray it. She realizes that her demographic are the leaders of the future and that we must understand the toxicity of polarization on our relationships to loved ones. Andem uses a digestible scenario such as this one to accomplish one of the most essential moments of its season. As a side note, the rest of this conversation is worth watching as it has such rich writing and important points of discussion that everyone can benefit from, but I digress.

There are several more examples in the show that highlights this phenomenon and each time we are reminded of the dangers of this type of thinking. It is sometimes visualized through consequences (such as in the case of Isak, Even and Sonja) or explicitly said (such as in the scene with Noora and Sana.) But above all, Julie Andem proposes a suggestion to SKAM’s audience — a new mantra to adopt: "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”

In the next essay, we will discuss the show’s second theme, that I like to call: for the love of god, communicate with your friends.

[panelun]

Batman and mental illness

(Not english speaker. Beware the gibberish.)

It’s time for me to say how much I love batman’s comics as : a reader, a pretentious literature student and a naratologist nerd. 

Contrary to others writers, super heroes comics’ writers “borrow” a character and have to write a story. It can be an hard job and they’re not always good at it, but they nearly always manage to keep a consistant thematic in Batman’s comics and that’s impressive. People says batman is liked because he has no superpower, but I don’t think it’s true. There is superheroes without superpower and they’re not as famous as him. 

Batman is a great hero because the universes, characters and stories graviting around him kept a global coherence on a rare but well developped subject : mental illness.

The “first” writers  did a good job at build the basis of the universe and Batman, the animated serie kinda give to Batman this gloomy and gothic style we know and appreciate and put a lot of basis about all of this. Next writers goes on and it was a really good job in the globality. It’s even more impressive when you think some of theses writers probably never thought about the symbols of their stories. Of course, it’s only one interpretation possible, but it still find it very strong.

The vast majority of Batman’s characters are mentally ill. Of course, Joker, Twofaces, Poison Ivy or other vilains came to your mind, but Bruce never get over his childhood trauma he’s probably very depressed too. 

People already noticed Bruce’s vilains represent dark sides of himself : Twofaces is his need of justice, Clayface, his troubled identity, Pinguin, a rich man, as Bruce, who used is money for doing bad things ect. All theses vilains are, symbolically, what Bruce Wayne could become. When he fight against them, he fight against himself, fight to be a better person. He wouldn’t be able to be Bruce Wayne if he couldn’t be Batman. 

 The most interesting point, I think, is the Joker, who represent pure madness and cruelty. It’s an interesting contrast to made the Joker a monster (before clown monsters were cool) when Batman is the one who actually looks as a scary vilain. I think Batman is unconsiously tempted by the Joker madness.

 The colors of batman’s characters represent their mind. Batman’s vilains are happy. Bruce aren’t. They see the world with joy when the reality Batman is facing is violent and dark (as dark as his costume in fact).

The last book I read when I was still a student was “The bluest eyes” by Toni Morrison and I was surprise to discover comics writers came, maybe unconsiously, to the same conclusion than a nobel prize.

Madness saves people from their sorrow and misery. Joker is happy to be mad ( So happy his job is to made people laugh) while Bruce is full of anxiety and sorrow because he sees the world as it is. He’s sad for his vilains, for the victims, for himself, always worried to save everyone in time… Sadness made him a good person because it made him empathic. 

And Batman can’t heal, but he can break the circle. Robin prove it.

 The different incarnation of Robin (his children) are also traumatized, but Bruce never had a mentor/father. The Robins had, because Bruce adopted them. He saves Robin and Robins will save him. Robin is always represent as a child, symbol of innocence, and wear bright colors, showing the trauma is less and less visible and will desapear one day. They represent Bruce’s children, but also his inner child who surpass his trauma. They’re also, with Alfred, the good side of the reality who stop Bruce to fall in madness.

Robin is the part of us who want to be optimistic and happy despite everything goes wrong. Batman is the one able to save this optimistic side because he’s already very pessimistic and prepared to the worse. People need both, depending on the situation. They’re the two side of a same coin. They represent what makes people able to surpass their difficulties in life.

I think Batman is a hughe success because people are really scared of madness, sometimes even more than death. Loosing yourself, loosing your own identity, is a big deal. People are more and more aware about the importance of mental illness and we feel more and more exposed to it. Very few people will spent their life without being depressed and mentally ill. That’s why Batman is a very cathartic story. It’s about a man who always manage to surpass his psychological problems.

 The comics show how awful mental illness can be, how it affect the world around us (vilains’ victimes) and represent it very harsly, but it’s also full of hope.  Bruce is the reader’s alter-ego who have all he need to constantly fight against his mental illness to stay himself, and he always manage to win against his demon.

Because madness isn’t a fatality and hapiness can still touch a broken person. 

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

I cant see myself in a longterm relationship with neither a woman or a man, even if I’m with somebody I still can’t see it lasting forever (although that could have something to do with me being a pessimist) I’ve never been a romantic person at all and I’m super picky with partners. I mostly get crushes on ppl who are unattainable such as celebrities bc I won’t have to worry abt being let down by the real deal. I’m not aro (tho I am Demiro) I want to be with people but I see it more as (1/2)

temporary fun than i think other ppl do. I know I don’t want to get married. What does this say about me? Is it just me being young? Just not having found the right person yet? A mental illness thing (depression making it hard to maintain a relationship or adhd me getting bored with ppl)? Bad experience? Like idk why I’m like this I kinda don’t want to get into relationships with people even if I’m bc I don’t think I’m gonna stay in love. (2/2)

I don’t know why you are “like that” either, darling. You listed plenty of different explanations that each could be a reason (or it could be a combination of all of it) but it could also be something else entirely or there might be no particular reason at all. Some people are just aromantic or on the aro spectrum and that’s fine. I understand this can be hard and make you feel like you’re out of place in a world that puts so much emphasis on romantic love being the be all end all way to find happiness....

But the truth is, there is much more to life than romance. I think you could really benefit from talking to other aromantic or demiromantic people to see that you’re not alone and learn how they handle it. There’s plenty of ways to be happy and other non-romantic ways to have relationships. You can have queerplatonic relationships and/or have sexual relationships with people and/or platonic ones.

It’s not a task that can be finished in a day but you have the possibility to decide for yourself what you need and want in life. If romance isn’t on the top of the list or not on the list at all - so what? More time for other stuff!

I know this sounds pragmatic and again, I realise it’s not that easy if the world keeps telling you that you gotta find “the one”. But let’s be real: the expectation that there is such a thing as “the one true love” is unrealistic af and puts unnecessary pressure on people to have The Perfect Relationship - so much so that they don’t enjoy it while it lasts. Very few romantic relationships last a life time. Some do last for decades, most for a couple years, some only a few months or weeks. People change over time and grow apart or they realise that they weren’t compatible in the first place. If we stop thinking of that as failure but instead treat it as growth then there’d be a lot less heartache from breakups and people would be able to move on sooner.

Maybe you want to try romance again at some point in your life, maybe not. I can’t predict that and neither can you. But you can put yourself at ease right now by remembering that you do not have to be interested in romance. You do not have to date people. You can live your life the way you want to and if that doesn’t include romance then so be it!

Maddie

[fallxnprxnce]

How affected would Nuada be if his sister Nuala had the iron malady. Also if that happened, how do you think that would affect Nuada's plans through out the film? You got this! Continue working hard online and offline and I'm sure things will work out! Have a frabjous day!

Okay first of all I just want to saythat you get 1,000 positive karma points for even mentioning my own fictionalillness that I came up with in your ask? Like wut? Thank you for payingattention and even caring about my little brain children? You’re awesome? =)

And again, sorry for this taking a ridiculousamount of time for me to finally answer, but I wanted to really give it somethought and not just write a tiny thing. Today is the first day I’ve had bothtime and motivation to write in like a week.

Also omg, I am trying to muddlethrough these last couple months of work but both my jobs are kicking my assright now. Mid-May, they both will end, and then I’m off until the end of June,so I just need to make it that far, heh.

Now let’s get down to business. XD

If you are reading this and you’re newto this blog or you just haven’t ever heard anything about the Iron Malady, it’s a fictional illness Icreated for one of my literary worlds. I made it more to deal with theissue of high or forest type elves being taken as prisoners of war by humans orsubterranean elves and placed in cells, or to deal with how they feel when theyare very far from home, away from their home forest, not in a forest, or areotherwise around a lot of human technology and civilization. Building on the common headcanon in a numberof fandoms that elves’ emotions are so potent as to have the ability to directlyaffect their longterm mental and physical health, the Iron Malady is an illnessthat arises from the intense feeling of hopelessness or dread that all thatthey have known is lost, that they will never see their home again, or that theworld is changing around them too fast for them to handle. A feeling of beingleft behind, becoming obsolete, or “homesick” for times and places they feelthey can never recapture. That’s a veryquick and general synopsis, but for those who wish to read more, I will directyou to this post where I describe itin more detail, discuss symptoms and stages of disease progression, and discussremedies to ease suffering and/or cure it.

So… how Nuada would react to Nualagetting the Iron Malady would depend upon whether their soul bond would conferthe illness onto him as well. I feellike if she was laid up with the Iron Malady, Nuada would be too, or at leasthe wouldn’t be far behind her. This is for two reasons: 1) they are physicallylinked, so all physical symptoms would be experienced by Nuada in real-time, 2)he would feel her emotions through the bonds, and the very definition of theIron Malady is that it’s brought about by intense feelings of sadness, grief,and hopelessness… which I think would massively affect him, and 3) just knowingshe had that illness would devastate him because I headcanon that that’s whatthe twins’ mother died of, and also just because he would know if Nuala hasthat illness that she must be suffering very badly emotionally. So my veryshort answer would be that he would become ill too, and without anyone to takecare of him, he would die, so both twins would die. If he returned to hispeople and got help, he could be in recovery for weeks if not months, so allother plans of his would be delayed by that amount of time.

Of course, having said all of that,that even assumes Nuala can get theIron Malady, which I believe she can’t. It begins as an emotional illness, afeeling  of intense dread, grief,sadness, etc., and Nuala seems incapable of that sort of emotion. (Disclaimer: Iwill insert at this time for those of you who were just like whaaaaaat? at thatstatement that I am not a fan of Nuala and I tend to have very harsh andpessimistic views of her. If you like her, I do not mean any insult and you arefree to love her if you want. Just take what I say within the context that Ihave a rather low opinions of her as a person haha.) I am not certain exactly the reason why she has a flat affect most ofthe time with regard to the fate of her people, but it has to be one of thesethree:

1) She doesn’t care. It could be possible that Nuala really just doesn’t care whether elves fade or not.If I wanted to be really mean and wallow in my pessimistic views of her, Imight want to say this, but I actually believe this is the least probable causeof her apparent apathy.

2) She can’tcare. It could be, and I think this isentirely likely, that Nuala has just been alive long enough, has seen enoughsuffering, has felt enough pain, and has pondered this subject long enough thateverything has… well… kinda… broken her brain a bit, heh. Not to say she’scrazy or anything, she’s not. But just in the sense of… sometimes you feel somuch that you redline and end up not emoting at all? Does that make sense toyou all? Like if everyone is pushing and trying to get through a doorway but theyall get jammed, then nobody gets through. What if her mind is the door and heremotions are the people pushing to get through? If she could emote, it would bevolatile and explosive, just like Nuada, but she can’t anymore.

3) She’s too wise to care. This sounds nasty, but it really isn’t. Truewisdom is seeing the big picture. It’s stepping outside of yourself, yoursituation, away from material things, away from trivial everyday things, andseeing the grander scheme of everything. Often times when one reaches truewisdom or enlightenment or whatever you want to call it, it involves not onlyan understanding of the greater picture and a detachment from personal desires,but also patience and compassion for others. This results in an enlightenedperson viewing strife and war and suffering as if they are watching TV. Notthat it isn’t real, not in that sense… but as if they are outside lookingin. They don’t place themselves in the situation or empathize, but rather theypractice patient compassion. What’s the difference? Empathy is when I identifywith what you’re going through because I’ve been through it myself or Iunderstand what it must be making you feel, and that makes me either sad foryou or really want to help you. I become personally emotionally involved inyour suffering. Patient compassion is very calmly looking at someone who issuffering and saying, this is difficult for you but you will get through it,and I understand that until you do, you will be upset and not yourself. It’sattributing all suffering to want, desire, and a lack of getting what you wantas far as the material here and now. It’s looking at someone who is in a rageand very calmly saying, I understand that this angers you, and I recognize thatyou are not wise enough to know that this too shall pass. I understand that itwill take time for you to work through this, and that until then, you may beunfit to live with.

I think it is very likely that Nualahas this very serene, wise, enlightened way of looking at the world. It rendersher not really able to get overly excited about much, because to be excited,upset, angry, etc., you have to be invested emotionally. She is an observer,watching life but not overly participating in it except in a few ways she feelsfurthers or maintains the greater good. Nuada and Nuala truly are yin and yang,for she is temperance, patience, understanding, and long-term, and Nuada isvolatility, impulsiveness, intolerance, and short-term. But I feel that that’sbecause Nuada never removed himself from the emotional equation. He’s allowedhimself to feel centuries of injustice, death, loss, and degradation of hispeople, and that has done very damaging things to his mind. Nuala may seem likea whole and better person on the surface, but that is because she has declinedto become emotionally invested in her people’s struggle, which I find shameful.But… it would protect her from falling victim to the Iron Malady.

Alright, SO… Now that we’ve gottenthat out of the way, IF… Nuada did not immediately come down with the IronMalady just by association with Nuala and IF… Nuala was actually capable offalling into the emotional valley that gives rise to the illness… now what?

In the HellboyII universe, I say the Iron Malady arose in elves who feared that their wayof life was falling apart, that it would fall apart forever, and that theywould fade. That despairover their situation of having to live underground, or seeing the humansoverpopulate and all of that, gave rise to this wasting illness that, even whenproperly treated, some simply do not recover from. Nuala and Nuada’s mother wasa kind, loving, and gentle soul, but she was also a fragile one, and she wasnot able to recover. Nuala… I believe would recover with the proper treatment,but that’s anybody’s guess. But even if we’re going to say that Nuada wasn’tphysically affected by the illness, he would still be aware that she had it.Actually, you could argue that he might be able to stop if before it happens,if he really wanted to, because he would be able to sense her emotionally goingdown that path long before it manifests itself in illness. He’s used to beingshunned and shut out by his sister, but if he felt real sadness from her? Ifshe reached out to him for help? You can bet your ass he’d be there for her.

So… I do not ship Nuala and Nuadaromantically or sexually. Yes, I know it’s canon. Yes, I don’t care. XD Butjust because my Nuada isn’t in lovewith Nuala does not mean he doesn’t love her. He loves her like a sister,certainly, and like anyone bonded to someone by their soul for the whole of his life would be. Nuada and Nuala do not have a traditional sense of self because of thisbond. They may exist apart from each other, but never knowing anythingother than feeling each other’s joy, pain, illness, sadness, happiness, wounds,etc. as their own… makes for a bondthat really can’t have any clear labels. That’s part of the reason why Nuada isso angry with and resentful of Nuala, because shunning him is like shunning apart of herself and like denying him a part of himself. It’s as if Nuada was awart on her finger and she decided to, quite literally, cut him off. But…having said that… because of the nature of this bond and Nuada’s own very openand emotional nature, there is no way for him to cut her off completely. So if she came down with something like theIron Malady, all bets would be off at that point. Fights wouldn’t matter.Differences wouldn’t matter. Insults, slights, grudges, bones to pick, none ofthat would matter to him anymore. All that would matter is being there for herand seeing her get well again. He’d worry about the rest later.

His plans for the humans would absolutely takea back seat to being there for his sister.He would return to the “palace,” assuming this is happening before he killsBalor, and would stay there with his sister until she was well again, and basicallywould not accept no for an answer. It isn’t like he would forget about what hewanted to do as far as assembling the crown, gaining the Golden Army, or exterminatinghumans, but rather his sister’s life and well-being would supersede all of thatin his mind. I can’t say that he would be surprised necessarily if she was toget the Iron Malady, but it would only strengthen his anger for humans. He’s alreadypissed off that they killed his mother, the way he sees it, but now his sisteris ill? Hell no.

Also, on a very basic and selfishsense, he would realize that if he doesn’tmake sure Nuala is cared for in a suitable manner and she dies, he would diealong with her. So if he ever intends on going through with his plan, heneeds to make sure he’s alive to do it. I can see this creating an even widerrift between Nuada and Balor, simply because he resents his father for hismother’s death. He feels he did nothing to save her, or at the very least, didnot provide her with enough support in life to prevent the illness fromhappening. Nuada would make sure the same thing doesn’t happen with Nuala.

He would make sure that Nuala was notjust feeling better but had been feeling better for some time before herevisited his plan again. This isn’t like a… take two Advil and call me in themorning sort of illness, heh. It takes weeks or months for a person to recover,and even after they do, they are prone to relapse if they are not taught how tobetter manage their depression or are not left with enough of a support system.I suppose if Nuala really wanted to discourage Nuada from his plans, the bestway would be to tell him that she needed him to stay with her in order toprevent a relapse. But that would assume he’d believe such a thing, heh.

But those are like… ultimate “I getthe Army and then I dead the humans so hard” plans. What about other supportingplans along the way? There are a fewthat I think would be either put off or nixed entirely if Nuala was sick withthe Iron Malady…

He wouldn’t kill Balor. Perhaps that whole thing might have gonedifferently if Nuala hadn’t been there to give consent for Balor’s death decreein the first place, but if she had the Iron Malady, Nuada would right suspectthat killing their father wasn’t what would bring Nuala out of her sadness. Infact, that would only exacerbate it tenfold.

He wouldn’t use the forest god in the way hedid. If anything, he might have brought itto Nuala first and shown her look, one of these still exists and I’m incubatingit, to make her happy. Not… “and then I’m going to use it to kill the hoomins,”haha… but just… “look, there is hope yet.” Maybe the poor forest god would havehad a better ending (or beginning?) and a much deeper meaning if it had beenused in that way. Great. I just gave myself a sad.

He wouldn’t care as much as Abe trying to makemoves on Nuala. Nuada doesn’tlike Abe for a lot of reasons, and he doesn’t think he is worthy of his sister,but… just like with Balor, now is not the time to attack someone she clearlycares for. For the sake of her recovery, I could see Nuada allowing Abe tovisit her. Supervised visits, ofcourse. XD

Nuada’s biggest problem during this timethough, would be not falling victim to it himself. Seeing his sister with the same illness hismother died from would take Nuada to a very rough place in his mind, and Ireally think it would be difficult for him to not fall into a depressionhimself. He would most likely want to stay in her room, sleep by her beside,basically never leave her. He would start regretting things he said and did toher, would start wishing they had been on better terms, all of that. So therewould be a great deal of regret and guilt involved in addition to just thesadness of seeing someone he loves laid up like that. So I think he’d be luckyif he remained entirely healthy himself during this time.

But yeah, that’s my 2 cents… of 5dollars, since this was long as hell, haha… but I hope I answered everythingwell enough! Thank you for sending  thisin!

[sebeth]

Crisis On Infinite Earths #1

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

  I loathe reboots. That said, Crisis on Infinite Earths is my all-time favorite “big event” comic book series. The art, the writing, the character moments, the long term-impact - no other “big event” from any company has come close to achieving the levels of success of Crisis.

I re-read this series annually.  And I continue to love it.  Each re-read seems to add more detail to the story.

Let’s dive into DC’s original Multiverse.

We begin with a recap of the creation of the Mutliverse: “In the beginning there was only one. A single black infinitude. But the light grew, and the infinitude shuddered and the darkness finally screamed, as much in pain as in relief. For in that instant, a Multiverse was born. A Multiverse of worlds vibrating and replicating…and a Multiverse that should have been one, became many.”

We switch to Pariah - possibly the most emo, pessimistic character in comics.

“How longer must I suffer for my sins…before I may be spared the witnessing of these horrors?”  - You were an extremely naughty boy if your punishment is to witness death and destruction over and over.

Earth-3, the home of the Crime Syndicate, is in its final death throes.  The Crime Syndicate, despite being villains, are doing their best to halt the destruction.  

Ultraman is fierce in these pages: “I’ve changed the course of mighty oceans, don’t tell me my super-strength can’t save my adopted planet.”

The above-quote proves that while Ultraman may be a villain, he is still a Superman.

Alexander Luthor, the sole super hero on this planet, is also attempting to save the planet.  Alexander witnesses the death of Superwoman. Luthor heads home to spend his final moments with Lois Lane.  

Lois: “Alexander, I think I can die peacefully, knowing I’m with you. But our son is so young. He’s been cheated of living and knowing love. Alex, must he perish too?”

Luthor and Lois send their infant son to Earth-1.   The Luthor baby’s ship is very similar in appearance to the rocket that transported baby Kal-El to earth.

“This is a prototype, large enough for only one. We will die, but our son shall live.”

Power Ring and Ultraman are the final remaining members of the Crime Syndicate. The duo realizes there is nothing left to do.  

Ultraman goes out like a boss: “What I have done all my life.  I fight to the very end!”

Once again proof that, at his core, Ultraman was a Superman.

Lois and Alexander share a final embrace: “Lois, our time together has been all too brief, but you’ve given me a love this old scientist never thought he’d know.”

“And you’ve given me more love than I had any right to expect. My husband. I love you!”

 Luthor’s son lands on the abandoned satellite headquarters of the Justice League.

The Monitor wants the Luthor child.  Good thing Alexander sent him to Earth-1 instead of letting him die on Earth-3.

The Monitor sends the Harbinger to assemble his team:  King Solovar of Earth-1′s Gorilla City, Dawnstar from the 30th century, Firebrand from 1940′s Earth 2, Blue Beetle from the Charlton Earth, Psycho-Pirate from present day Earth 2, Arion of Atlantis from 45,000 years ago, and Firestorm and Killer Frost from present day Earth 1.    

An few notes during the search:

The Harbinger duplicate searching for Arion is possessed by a shadowy figure.

Harbinger approaches Roger Hayden, the current Psycho-Pirate, in an asylum: Hayden urges Harbinger to “Find Halstead – the first Psycho-Pirate. He was better’n me. He knew how to handle all those emotions…Why don’t you just leave me alone? I don’t want to. You’ll give me those headaches all over again. You don’t know what it’s like, do you? The psycho-pirate affects emotions in others but those emotions hurt me. Please, go away…I’m not well.”

Harbinger slaps the Medusa Mask on Hayden and spirits him out of the institution.

All of Harbinger’s “recruitment” scenes were essentially abductions but the Psycho-Pirate’s is noteworthy because you have a mentally ill man being kidnapped over his protests.

One last note of the recruitment scenes – Firestorm and Killer Frost are enemies. The Psycho-Pirate uses his abilities to cause Killer Frost to fall in love with Firestorm so she will accompany the group: “You feel love now, Killer Frost, don’t you? Love for man, love for earth, and especially love for your enemy.”

Firestorm is uncomfortable with the situation. Me too.

We go to the Monitor’s headquarters where the above-mentioned figures are waiting.  Also in residence are Earth 1′s Geo-Force, Cyborg, Psimon, Doctor Polaris, Green Lantern (John Stewart) along with present day Earth-2′s Superman and Obsidian.  I’m assuming these guys were recruited during “Crisis” tie-in issues.

This is a very odd group. It’s easy to see why some were chosen - Arion, Superman, Green Lantern, and Firestorm are obvious for their power levels, Dawnstar is the best tracker in the DC Universe, and Obsidian’s abilities give him an edge against the Anti-Monitor’s shadow demons.  The others are not so obvious at first glance.  

Monitor ruminates to himself: “Already another Earth has perished and five heroes I needed are gone. Thus I’ve dispatched your replicants to seek out others as replacements.”

We’re never told the name of the Earth or of the five deceased heroes.  There is no editor’s footnote telling us to check out “issue #” so I don’t think it happened in a tie-in.  Crisis happened in the 1980’s and editors were all over footnotes urging you to buy “Issue # of Title X” to discover the full details of an event.

The five deceased heroes remain a mystery – who died and who were the replacements?

I’m fairly confident in stating Dawnstar was an original intended recipient – the depth and scope of her tracking abilities is unique in the DC universe. As for the others…who knows?

The heroes and villains await on the station.  Most are keeping to themselves with a few exceptions. Killer Frost is lovey-dovey with Firestorm much to his dismay. Geo-Force and Cyborg are standing next to each other.

Superman and Obsidian are conversing. Both heroes are from the same Earth. Firebrand is also from Earth 2 but originates in the World War II era: “I know Obsidian. The Squadron recently met him and his friends but Superman looks so old, hardly the Man of Steel I know so well. Well, I guess everybody ages.”

I love Obsidian staying close to Superman. Not only is Clark from Obsidian’s home planet, but Clark began his heroic career shortly before World War II and has worked for decades with Obsidian’s father, the original Green Lantern. It makes logical sense for Obsidian to be glued to Superman’s side.

Psimon attempts a truce with his “dear friends” Cyborg and Geo-Force. Cyborg tells him to shove it.

King Solivar keeps to himself: “The humans stare at me then turn away. My presence here is uncomforting to them. Unlike us apes, they have not yet learned to look beyond the form to the soul that lives inside.”

Solivar’s must be feeling insecure. Dawnstar is from the 31st century and John Stewart is a Green Lantern – diverse life forms are nothing new to them. Superman’s been around the block and seen many unusual life forms. Cyborg has a teammate that can turn into any alien form so I don’t see Victor being phased by a sentient ape.

Psimon warns of an impending attack – cue the shadow demons and a big fight at the Monitor’s base.  A few heroes have a bit of luck against the demons but are on the ropes until the Monitor releases an extremely intense light burst.  

Solivar saves Dawnstar and Dawny responds with “You’re an ape, but you can talk!”

This is the one bit that felt out of character.  Dawnstar wouldn’t be fazed by a talking ape. 31st Century people – she’s seen way more unusual things than a talking ape.

“And now, let me properly introduce myself.  I am…the Monitor.  And I have summoned you here because your universes are about to die!” - What a drama queen!

Final thoughts:

Nice set-up issue.  It achieved what would take 3 to 6 issues in modern times.

Gorgeous art by George Perez.

Pariah is annoying.

I loved that the Crime Syndicate (of all people) went out as heroes.

Harbinger was much more powerful in her debut.  Compare this to the Superman/Batman issue where she’s killed off-panel by a Doomsday clone.

Considering light is the Shadow Demon’s main weakness, I’m surprised the Monitor didn’t recruit the first Dr. Light.  Light is scum but that didn’t stop the Monitor from recruiting Psimon, Killer Frost, the Psycho-Pirate and Doctor Polaris.

I really miss pre-New 52 DC. Firebrand!  All-Star Squadron!  Obsidian!  Older Earth-2 Superman!\

Rest In Peace:

Earth-3

The Crime Syndicate

Alexander Luthor

Lois Lane Luthor

[cassandra-acton]

ORIGINS & FAMILY:

Name: Cassandra Alice Acton.

Nickname: Cassie, Cass.

Birthday: November 8th.

Age: 33.

Gender: Female.

Place of Birth: Oxford, Oxfordshire, United Kingdom.

Places Lived Since: London, United Kingdom.

Current Residence: Tower Hamlets, London, United Kingdom.

Nationality: British.

Parents: Michael and Anita Acton (née Redgrave)

Grandparents: Edward Acton (grandfather, paternal, deceased) Renske van Ardenne (grandmother, paternal) Harold Redgrave (grandfather, maternal, deceased)  Hélène de Broglie (grandmother, maternal, deceased)

Aunts & Uncles: Kathleen Acton-Fortescue (aunt, paternal) Charlotte, Georgina Redgrave (aunts, maternal) Lambert Redgrave (uncle, maternal)

Number of Siblings: One older sister, Elizabeth Acton.

Relationship With Family: Poor is an understatement. It's gotten to the point where she no longer communicates with her parents at all. Cassie’s mother is—and always has been—an emotionally abusive bully, and even though her father never treated her badly, he also never intervened. It’s hard to see past. Cassie spent much of her childhood thinking she was the problem; that she’d done something to warrant her mother being so obvious about not wanting her. That’s changed now, but the hurt hasn’t gone. Cassie still carries a lot of emotional baggage from her uprettpbringing. Has a lot of self-hate, self-doubt, and averseness to trusting people/letting them close to her. It’s easier to keep people at a distance than to feel the hurt of not being good enough for them too. Elizabeth was never treated in the way she was. She’s the golden child. When Cassie was very young, that wasn’t a problem; she looked up to Elizabeth like she was a hero, and worshipped the ground she walked on, much in the same way she did her mother. But then, as she got older, Anita made sure Cassie knew it. Got enjoyment from pitting them against each other. It absolutely decimated the relationship. Not only did it leave her bitter, but absolutely stripped her of the protective big sister she loved and needed. They still talk, but they aren’t close at all. Elizabeth understands why Cassie feels about their mother. Elizabeth can see everything she’s done. Cassie, on the other hand, still feels like she has to prove she’s better than Elizabeth because her mother always told her she would never come close. That’s enough to make her look like more of an enemy than family.

Happiest Memory: When Harrison proposed to her, without a doubt. That was easily the best day of her life. I’ll write about it someday. Getting her internship at Goldman is definitely second, though.

Childhood Trauma: I mean the parents definitely fucked her up for life, so there’s that.

PHYSICAL:

Height: 5'4”

Weight: 120lbs.

Build: Slim but very fit.

Hair Color: Blonde.

Usual Hair Style: Whilst working she almost always wears her hair up in a ponytail, but she’s not really a fan, and would much rather it down and free-flowing. Keeps it just a little longer than shoulder length because of her dislike of short hair. Is too lazy to style it beyond neatness unless she’s going somewhere.

Eye Color: Blue.

Glasses? Contacts?: Neither.

Style of Dress/Typical Outfit(s): For work: neat, formal, and inexpensive. Lots of form-fitting skirts, blazers and blouses in blacks, whites and nudes. Out of work: a fuck load of jeans. Baggy jumpers, chunky-knit cardigans and quirky shirts. Picks up a lot of her stuff from charity shops because who has time for fucking shopping. I don’t think she’s really the designer type despite having more than enough money to live that kind of lifestyle.

Typical Style of Shoes: Cassie is never without heels in her day-to-day, even at the weekend. Prefers bright colours and eye-catching designs to contrast with her typically monochrome outfits during work. Will happily wear killer heels even when dressed down because they look just as good with jeans. Shoes are about the only part of her outfits she ever spends a decent amount of money on.

Jewellery? Tattoos? Piercings?: The only piece of jewellery she constantly wears is her engagement ring, which she has on a chain around her neck. That being said, she is a big lover of rings in general, and is always sporting a solid combination of regular and midi. She has four tattoos. ‘Hip to be Square’ in tiny font on the inside of her right wrist, Gaff’s unicorn on her left hip, Harrison’s birthday on her left shoulder blade, and a matching tattoo she got with her friend, Jessica, back in school, on her right forearm. Each got a hand from The Creation of Adam. As for piercings, she has her left ear pierced twice, her right five times (one daith), as well as her navel.

Scars: A thin scar that cuts through her right eyebrow; a result of a drunken night out in university during which one of her friends fell down the stairs, and dragged Cassie with her. She actually rather likes it. Also has several scars on her torso from being shot in her apartment by Russian nationalists. You can read the self para here. 

Unique Mannerisms/Physical Habits: When she’s stressed, she has to play with her hair; pulling it, twisting it, whatever. It’s about the only good indicator she’s about to rip your face off because she will do that shit with a smile. She’s also a bugger for biting at her nails, so she purposely gets gel extensions to stop herself doing it.

Athleticism: Very high. Cassandra naturally has a lot of energy, and so expends a lot of it keeping fit. Rowed competitively for LSE, and still competes regularly with many of the girls from her old crews, as well as having joined a new rowing club. She also plays a lot of rugby, though never competitively. Loves running and endurance, and almost always competes in the Tough Mudder when it’s nearby, as well as taking part in the London marathon annually (something she and Harrison made a tradition of doing together.) Also gets involved with a lot of charity races.

Health Problems/Illnesses: I think she’s battled serious depression for a long time, though she’s far too proud to ever get it officially diagnosed. Cassie also has both polycystic ovaries and endometriosis, which is a miserable combination. They come with their own sets of issues that she has to battle with, the worst of which is the mental hurdle of her possible infertility.

INTELLECT:

Level of Education: MSc in Economics and Management from LSE. Cassie finds studying relaxing, however, and often self-teaches about subjects of interest in her free time. Currently, she is working on a course in Arab Finance.

Languages Spoken: English natively, Dutch fluently, thanks to her grandmother. French and Mandarin intermediate. It determined to take up learning Arabic at a later date.

Level of Self-Esteem: Very low. Her mother drummed the idea that she’s worthless into her so convcingly, moving past it is very difficult. It’s why she aggressively overcompensates with an arrogant attitude. Partly to convince herself that she’s making progress, but mostly to convince others that nothing’s wrong at all.

Gifts/Talents: Surprisingly, she’s actually a good violinist. It’s about the only thing she has to thank her mother for. Cassie also has a solid talent for being able to manipulate others. Wrapping people around her finger has got her far in life.

Mathematical?: Absolutely. Cassie loves numbers. Math was always her favourite subject at school, and easily the one she was best at.

Makes Decisions Based Mostly On Emotions, or On Logic?: Usually, emotions, though she tends to berate herself afterward, because she knows—especially given the career she has now chosen to pursue—that she needs to learn to be more logical.

Life Philosophy: Someone else is happy with less than what you have.

Religious Stance: Was raised Anglican, but isn’t particularly religious. I think she likes the idea of God more than she actually believes it.

Cautious or Daring?: Daring. Naturally, she’s a spontaneous person, and I don’t think being cautious really lends to that.

Most Sensitive About/Vulnerable To: Being told she’s not good enough. Being criticised when it comes to her work. Being compared to her sister. People bringing up what happened to Harrison. Terrorism in general.

Optimist or Pessimist?: In between, leaning slightly toward the pessimistic side.

Extrovert or Introvert?: Extrovert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

Current Relationship Status: In a very secret relationship with Silas Agreste.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual.

Past Relationships: Before Adam, the only person she’d ever been in a real relationship with was Harrison. They on-off dated their whole young lives. They briefly broke up when he joined the army and she went to university because they were worried about ‘distance’ but wound up missing each other too much for it to be a permanent thing. Dated one guy briefly, Matt, a few years after his death, but it scared her so much it took her a long time to try again. The break up with Adam was complicated because neither of them wanted it. His party made him pick between leadership and her, and whilst he was content to choose Cassie, she was terrified he’d end up resenting her for it down the line. It was her that finally convinced him to go for it, and it might be one of the most difficult decisions she’s ever made.

Primary Reason For Being Broken Up With: None.

Primary Reasons For Breaking Up With People: Not having moved on.

Ever Cheated?: Physically? No. Emotionally? During her relationship with Adam, it’s safe to say that’s dubious ground. 

Been Cheated On: Not to her knowledge. Adam was still sleeping with Spencer’s ex-wife, Evelyn, when they first started dating, but it doesn’t really count given that they weren’t officially together at that point. 

Level of Sexual Experience: Cassie’s slept with four people in her life, so limited-ish. Harrison, Matt, Silas, and Adam.

Story of First Kiss: They were ten. His name was Richard and she honestly only kissed him because all of the other girls wanted to. Bragging rights.

Story of Loss of Virginity: The first time she and Harrison tried, they’d attempted to make it a ‘romantic evening’ that wound up being so awkward, they couldn’t stop laughing. Eventually, it happened spontaneously at a school social after party he’d come home from Oxford to meet her at.

A Social Person?: Absolutely. Even though she needs some time to herself every now and again to process all the shit that’s going on in her life, she couldn’t go any extended time without her friends. Being lonely terrifies her, so Cassie has to be in a pretty bad place to cut herself of from people.

Most Comfortable Around: Cassie feels truly comfortable around few people, but Jessica, Nora and Spencer top the list. Jasper, too. They are the people she couldn’t be without. Her old friends at Goldman are still like family to her, too, so they get an honourable mention. Cassie is comfortable around others like Alexis, but would probably still be hesitant to share some things with them. 

Oldest Friend: Jessica Mirzoyan: a friend she grew up with in Oxford, who followed the exact same path in life as Cassie. They both moved to London and studied at LSE. The only difference is Jessica works for J.P. Morgan. She can’t remember a time in her life when Jessica wasn’t in it, they’ve known each other for so long. Jess is the sister Elizabeth could’ve been.

How Does She Think Others Perceive Her?: Cassie has an incredibly skewed view of what people think of her. She automatically assumes people think the worst. Look at her like she’s not good enough, just like her mother always did. I think that’s why she keeps most people at arm’s length, because she’s so scared of letting someone in only for them to wind up criticizing her.

How Do Others Actually Perceive Her?: Depends who you ask. Amongst the public, she’s very popular for her honesty. Amongst her colleagues back at Goldman, she’s respected as a professional cutthroat. As for her critics, they probably just see her as a stuck up bitch riding on the back of her sister’s success.

SECRETS:

Life Goals: To help as many people through her political and charitable work as possible. That’s really all she cares about. Personal goals seem fairly irrelevant to her right now, given everything that’s happened.

Dreams: To be happy again would be rather nice. Having children is also incredibly important to her, but not something she thinks about often because of her circumstances. Losing the man she wanted to have a family with was bad enough, but so was the fact they tried for so long with no results. I think she wonders whether it just isn’t meant to be for her, which is sad. That’s definitely one she buries.

Greatest Fears: Polystyrene and spiders. Why do either of those things exist?

Most Ashamed Of: How bitter losing Harrison has made her. How she still hasn’t been able to get over the anger and the hurt it left her with. How she knows she should be ashamed about how her relationship with Silas started (an affair with a married man) but isn’t. 

Secret Hobbies: Cassie kind of loves to knit. It’s a good stress reliever when she’s too tired to go running. Not that she’d admit to it, mind you. She’s also not very good. All she can make are the really simple scarves.

Crimes Committed (Was she caught? Charged?): None.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

Night Owl or Early Bird?: Night owl. Begrudges being alive in the mornings and has to go for a run to wake herself up, or will possibly murder people.

Light or Heavy Sleeper?: Heavy sleeper.

Favorite Animal: Hedgehog.

Favorite Foods: Steak. Cheese and crackers. Orange jelly.

Least Favorite Food: Avocado.

Favorite Book: American Psycho – Bret Easton Ellis.

Least Favorite Book: The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Favorite Movie: Gladiator. Blade Runner. 

Least Favorite Movie: Shitty horrors in general.

Favorite Song: Mr. Roboto – Styx. If you play that to her, she doesn’t just sing along, she fucking performs it, okay. (Honourable mentions for The Boys Are Back In Town – Thin Lizzy, and What Is Love – Haddaway.)

Favorite Sport: Rugby Union. Cassie can get shouty about rugby and is a very dedicated Saracens fan. Also a loyal supporter of the English team, and Danny Care’s ultimate fangirl. 

Coffee or Tea?: Tea.

Crunchy or Smooth Peanut Butter?: Neither, thank you. That stuff is nasty.

Type of Car She Drives: A dark green Mini Cooper.

Lefty or Righty?: Lefty.

Favorite Color: Pink. 

Cusser?: Pretty badly, although she does well to hold her tongue in public most of the time. Cassie has had a few slip-ups that made the headlines, though. Luckily the general opinion was that it made her seem more normal/relatable, and it went down well with voters, if not her critics.

Smoker? Drinker? Drug User?: Never used drugs. Occasionally smokes if she’s incredibly stressed and has been drinking, but otherwise, she finds it kind of gross. Drinks fairly regularly. More so lately.

Biggest Regret: Letting her parents fuck her up so badly. Cassie wishes that she hadn’t taken it so much to heart, now that she knows better.

Pets: The love of her life, Brody the Corgi. More recently, she got him a little sister, Sarah. Also her hedgehog Éclair.