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nnight-dances · 2 months

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LOVE 119

PAIRING: park wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE: FLUFF (!!!) with a hint of angst

TROPES: established relationship with age gap, just silly boyfriend girlfriend things because i was in a silly mood, cooking slander, cute lovesick shit.

NOTE: my debut riize fic!!! i know i said i wasn't going to write anything before the vernon fic but guys you have to believe me when i say this fic basically wrote itself. enjoy my wonbin brainrot that was born because i'm scared of getting older but it is what is is, and the way i cope is to write it <3 let me know what you think, ily!

It was never not going to feel weird to you, to have a boyfriend who was younger than you. Forget that Wonbin was only born a year after you, you couldn't shake the weirdness off because you'd never done it before. All of your relationships had been with men older than you, sometimes by outrageous numbers but never so much that they would find a way to abuse their age with you. So why was it that when you'd lay eyes on your current boyfriend and feel a rush of excitement, it made you coil up… like you were doing something wrong?

"You wanna get Wendy's for dinner?" Wonbin asks you, lying upside down on your bed, your white sheets enveloping him and emphasizing his soft edges all over. You blink at him, not meaning to ignore him but ending up leaving his question unanswered when your thoughts pull you back into your head–

It wasn't even like he acted younger. If anything, he was adamant to keep up his tough exterior in front of you most days, only breaking down into the soft romantic he was when you'd show him your own vulnerable sides. In fact, people who knew you were often shocked to find that you were the older one in the equation, eyeing both Wonbin's height advantage and your knack for acting the tantrum-thrower. So, why did you feel this storm brewing in your gut anyway?

"Babe?" Wonbin sits up when you keep staring into space, brows rising in concern, "You good, darling?" The worried tone your boyfriend's questions carry do right to bring you back to earth and you cough in embarassment. Way to start acting your age, you scold yourself, standing up all too quickly.

But brave the iron-deficient darkness that spots your vision for a moment to declare, "No, no more Wendy's. It's too…" you pause, giving yourself a chance to think over your words, "unhealthy. We should look at what we eat."

Really? You were gonna go for the stubborn mom approach?

If there was ever a window for you to take back your words, it was definitely closed now because Wonbin's grinning mischeviously, not quite sure what you were acting out about but enjoying the consequences nonetheless. He rolls over, not a minute's thought to the way his hair was sticking every which way.

"So, what? You're gonna cook us dinner or something?" Wonbin's classic indifference lilts his words but his eyes are sparkling with the possibility of seeing a new side of you.

You cross your arms, a poorly-masked sigh leaving you, "I… will."

With that, you swerve out of your bedroom and pace toward the kitchen, appalled at the situation you were getting yourself into. It was no secret that while you were self-sufficient in most aspects of your life, cooking was far from one of your most-accomplished skills. But that didn't mean you were a complete disaster.

You take a deep breath as you survey the ingredients in your fridge, brain working over-time to come up with a recipe that could be your dinner for the day.

"I'd love some rice and vegetable stir-fry–" Wonbin's cheeky comment stops halfway when he sees your glare but the boy is having too much fun because he continues with a wink, "Please?"

"As funny as you are," you turn back around to the fridge, a plan forming in your mind, "I'm not taking orders today, sorry. And thanks to my limited inventory, tonight's dish is–" You set a carton of eggs on the counter with a sweet smile, "Omurice."

Wonbin's grin falls, right from his eyes when he looks at the counter as you start preparing rice and warm up the pan for the dish. "What? It's dinner time, Y/N!" he complains, "and plus, even if omurice was considered dinner in another world, it'd be for kids."

You gasp dramatically at this words but don't pay his words any attention. You hadn't planned to bring out the pouty boy leaning over the counter, frowning at your every unbothered move, but you can't say you're not enjoying it. And what's better is that you know for a fact that your omurice is your best chance at impressing your boyfriend with your cooking skills.

"Wonbin, trust me, you're not gonna regret sticking around for this omurice," you tell him over your shoulder, expertly sliding the eggs around on the pan, "I made this all the time back in my study abroad days in Japan. I learnt from the best."

This meets Wonbin by surprise, "You studied abroad in Japan? What the hell?"

You laugh, "It was a long time ago and only for a year. Not the most interesting thing about me either."

"That's crazy," Wonbin thinks out loud, "I wish I'd studied abroad."

"Why didn't you?"

"I hate travelling, especially for that short of a time. And I hate making new friends so I decided against wasting my energy."

You nod, "Fair enough. Plus," you spin around to grab two plates from the counter, "If you'd gone, I would've never met you when I did."

Wonbin watches you hard at word, chin on his palm, "I guess you're right. I would've been off-campus for junior year and by the time I'd get back, you would've graduated."

"Scary thought," you muse as you get started on the fried rice beside the omelette that you let cook for just a little.

"Not really, I'm sure we would've met either way," Wonbin says with a conviction that has you turning around with an inquistive look. He shrugs at your teasing look, "What? I think it's lame to think we met just by chance."

"Of course it was," you laugh, "I ran into you and spilled my coffee all over you. Babe, that's literally the definition of a chance encounter. I could've ran into anyone else, or maybe you could've never been there waiting for Sungchan."

You're staring on the ketchup decoration when Wonbin responds, "But you didn't. That's exactly it. There was a chance for all of those other things happening, all at random, but you ran into me. I think that has to mean something."

You can't conceal the goofy grin that spills across your lips when you meet Wonbin's expression of absolute gravity. He's so serious about insisting that you were meant to be and it has your heart melting. "You're cute," you sigh, presenting him with your finished products. He's distracted from the conversation when he catches the sight before him.

"Woah," he lets out, looking at you in shock, "Y/N, this looks amazing."

"Wait till you taste it," you pat his cheek, pulling him along to the makeshift dining table you'd set up recently, with a good view of both the huge window across the room and the television in your living room.

"That's so good," Wonbin groans, speaking with his mouth full, "I'm sorry I doubted your skills, this is the best thing I've tasted."

You laugh, ears redenning at his flattery but relishing the way he can't seem to stop eating the warm dish. "I'm glad you like it," you take a bite yourself, satisfied that you hadn't lost your touch along the years.

"Insane. I didn't know my girlfriend was hiding her inner cook all this time," he comments, smiling when he's done eating, "What else am I going to find out about you? You weren't in a gang or something before I met you, right?"

"Hold your horses, boy," you shush him, taking his plate to the sink, "You'll find out all my secrets with time."

You're running the plates under water to let them soak up some moisture when you feel your boyfriend's arms around your waist. "Wonbin?" you echo.

The boy's nose settles in the crook of your neck, stealing some of the warmth that rushes there at the contact. "Thank you," he mumbles into your back, "You're so cool. I want to be with you forever."

You choke over your own hitched breath, "You can't just say that!"

"Sorry," his tone tells you he's not a bit sorry, "I'm just so happy whenever I'm with you. That's why I can't imagine a world where I'm not with you. Right here, holding you while you take care of me."

"If you're trying to kill me, it's really working," you sigh out with hot cheeks, barely managing to finish washing the dishes with all the sickly sweet confessions that are basically oozing out of Wonbin. He laughs a low laugh, kissing your ear as he pulls away.

Your head feels light, heartbeat irregular because somehow, like always, Wonbin knows exactly what to say. Even if you hadn't voiced your worries out loud, his words were the perfect antidote to the baseless worries you were entertaining earlier. He was so gentle, the way he was reassuring that you weren't the only baby in this relationship, after all, you did your part in looking after him.

"Tell me," you walk up to him, wrapping yourself around his torso this time, face propped up against his chest to look up at him, "It's your turn to share a secret with me."

"Hmm," Wonbin hums thoughtfully, slowly steering both of your bodies toward the bedroom, closing the door behind him, "I don't know… How about the fact that I was in squash club?"

"You were?"

"Yeah, I loved it. I went to every single practice when I was a freshamn, even in the middle of the week, because it got my mind off everything," he says quietly, "It was the only place where I could forget trying to be likeable. I didn't have to make friends, just had to be good at the game."

"And were you?" you ask, knowing the answer to the question.

"Yeah, I think so. That's probably why they wanted to make me captain of the club in sophomore year."

"Oooh, that's amazing. Now it makes sense why your quads are so built," you grin into his skin when he plops both of you onto the bed, "But wait, I don't remember you being captain when I met you?"

"That's because I didn't take the offer. I knew I would have my hands full in junior year and I hate doing things half-heartedly," Wonbin's eyes take on a distant look, but you can tell he doesn't regret his choice a bit. It was his choice, after all.

"Ah, that's a good policy to have," you kiss his cheek, "Thank you for telling me."

Wonbin's lips lift up in a small smile at your comment, nodding in acknowledgment. "Now… are you gonna tell me what was on your mind earlier today?"

You freeze at his keen observation, averting your gaze in an attempt to skirt it, "I– It was nothing. Just stupid stuff. I'm over it though, so don't worry about it."

"I wouldn't worry about it if you looked in my eye while you said that," your boyfriend catches you again, firm arm bringing you closer to him, "Come on, sweet, let me in. What's wrong?"

You sigh in defeat. "You're too smart. And if you must know, I was just overthinking our age gap."

"Age gap? You mean that I was born 9 months after you?"

You glare at him, "Okay, I don't appreciate your fact-based attacks on my weaknesses. And an age gap is an age gap. It's my first time being with someone younger."

"So it's natural to feel weird," he completes your thought for you, "But you've always been so chill about it, what made this come up?"

"Not sure," you wonder yourself, "I've been feeling older recently. Even though my birthday was a month ago. I don't know, I feel like I'm not responsible enough sometimes, especially with you– I don't want to make you do everything."

"You don't," Wonbin brushes a thumb against your cheek. "You're always checking up on me, Y/N. And you're the one who made sure we were always communicating with each other, even about the small things. I think you'd pass the old soul check any day."

You chuckle softly at your boyfriend's reassurance, "You're not wrong. But you're sure I'm… enough?"

Wonbin frowns at your concern, "Hey, now that's a bigger issue than our age gap. Of course– You're more than enough, Y/N. Did you not hear me earlier? I can't imagine not being with you. That means, I can't imagine living without you. I'm like the luckiest guy to have managed to get you in bed with me. I'm serious, you turned my life around when you ruined my favorite shirt that day–"

"And I've apologized endlessly about it–"

"You're the reason I'm not a loner, following Sungchan around all the time because he's the only one who doesn't think of me as a stuck-up idiot. I love you so much."

"Okay, okay, I think I get it," you stop him, hand on your chest when he keeps snuggling closer, lips a breath away from your skin. "I'm not thinking those thoughts anymore, babe. I know you love me. I love you, too."

"Good," he pecks your nose, "But I have to say, you're hot when your older side comes out. Watching you cook me dinner was an experience I'm not forgetting anytime soon."

"I guess I better do it more then," you tease him, fingers running through his soft hair, "I'll go on a grocery run later this week. Cook you that stir-fry you wanted, huh?"

"If you're trying to get into my pants right now, congrats, you've made it," Wonbin laughs, cheeks warm at your bold promise. "But yes please, and can I come grocery shopping with you?"

"Sure you won't get bored? Grocery shopping is a boring adult chore, you know–"

"Okay, I don't think you're allowed to use your age to belittle me–"

"Or what? You're gonna get mad at me?"

"I hate you– I'm gonna go home if you're gonna–"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, babe, come back!"

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soloroomies · 3 months

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lifemate (Chapter 1/ Sakusa x f!reader)

summary: how did it all start? word count. 1.9k cw. marriage pact au, potential mature content a/n. this is my first time writing fic! hope you all enjoy this story! (♡ n pls let me know if you do enjoy them ♡) Masterlist

Every month, Motoya Komori, Sakusa Kiyoomi, and you meet up to catch up and enjoy each other's company. Surprisingly, despite the passage of time and the changes in your lives, you have managed to maintain your friendship well since high school. Your bond remains strong, bolstered by frequent chats in your group chat, where you exchange life updates.

Now you’re all in your late 20s, with you and Sakusa the same age, 27 years old, and Motoya a year older. Each of you is navigating your own unique path in life. Motoya Komori, always the cheerful one, shares his latest thoughts and plans. "Nothing much," he says with a grin, "just thinking about coaching some kids in my block." Then, he adds, "Mia thinks that’s a good idea too," his eyes light up when he talks about his wife, his smile widening. It's been a year since their wedding, and he’s never been happier. He met his wife during an open trip to Europe in his early 20s, a serendipitous encounter that changed his life forever.

Sakusa, on the other hand, often brings up his ongoing struggle with his fame. "I keep trying to decline gifts from fans," he admits, a hint of frustration in his voice. Despite his attempts to maintain some semblance of normalcy, his popularity often complicates things.

It’s no wonder you think that Kiyoomi is popular among women. A single, talented man who looks dedicated to his career is bound to attract attention. People on the internet often compliment his looks too. Standing at 6’4” with a lean build, his black wavy hair adds to his appeal. You can imagine his struggle a bit—balancing his demanding career with the expectations and attention from fans and potential romantic interests alike.

As for you, you share your own challenges of juggling your main job with multiple side jobs. It’s a constant balancing act, trying to manage everything without letting anything fall through the cracks. Yet, despite the hectic schedule, you find solace in these monthly meet-ups, a reminder of the enduring friendship that has weathered the storms of life.

“Why do you have to do several jobs?” Komori asks, a hint of worry in his voice.

You chuckle lightly and start explaining the reality of life outside the athletic world. “Well, life actually works a bit differently for non-athletes,” you say with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. You go on to explain that you're still early in your career, and your current job is only a mid-paying one. “I need some more money to cover my living costs and to send some to my retiring parents,” you add, your tone growing more serious.

Komori listens intently, nodding in understanding. He realizes that while his career path as a professional athlete offers certain financial stability and perks, your situation requires juggling multiple jobs to make ends meet and support your family.

Komori agrees with your statement about the high living costs, even for him. You continue, “Well, now that I think about it, in this economy, for average people, I think marriage helps a lot in a financial way. I mean, by having two incomes in the household. If we didn’t put children into the equation, though, maybe.”

Komori agrees, “Well, maybe that’s true. But I don’t know much about that since my wife stays at home. But financials aside, having someone to come home to… I don’t know how to put it. But it’s less lonely and, y’know? Feels like someone always has my back no matter what.”

Sakusa interjects, “But you don’t have to get married, you know? You can just move in with your girlfriend.”

Komori shakes his head, “I don’t know, man. It’s a different sense of security.”

You chime in, “Ooh, I get it. Maybe it’s kinda like… all these paperwork you sign? So, it feels verrrry official?” You raise your eyebrow, prompting Komori to laugh.

“Maybe? I don’t know. I’m just happy and secure. That’s all I feel,” he says with a contented smile.

You sigh and slam your hand on the table, “Man, I don’t even think about that. I just think it’s nice to split rent and chores with someone.”

Komori hums at your statement, then turns to Sakusa. “What do you think, Omi?”

Sakusa shrugs, “I just think being married makes it more convenient for me to politely decline some of the persistent and creepy fans.”

You chuckle, “Ha. Ha. Okayyy starboy. Totally not relatable.”

Komori adds thoughtfully, “Hey, in a sense, that applies to you as well in terms of being more secure when walking at night. Ward off some creepy men, y’know?”

You nod, a wry smile on your face, “Hey! That’s so fucking true. Pfft, I hate the world that we live in.” You sip on your drink, finding a moment of solidarity in the shared laughter and understanding.

“Okay. Now this conversation made me want to get married. But I can’t even afford a relationship right now. Trying to start a relationship is too urgh,” you say, scrunching your nose. “Too many steps to deal with. And don’t even talk about the emotional roller coaster! It’s just too tiring!”

You used to be a hopeless romantic at heart, dreaming of the day you would meet that one person, your prince charming. Falling in love so hard that your head feels dizzy, experiencing all those cute butterflies in your stomach, and seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses due to the happiness of love.

However, the idea seems more and more impossible as you grow older. Reality has hit you hard. Maybe it’s just bad luck, but you’ve never been lucky in your romantic life. It’s not like no one wants you; there are men who approach you. But the ones who do either don’t meet your standards or turn out to be douchebags when you try to get to know them better and pursue more, leading to frustrating situationships. It’s exhausting to be attached to them and constantly ride an emotional roller coaster.

Moreover, you can’t think of anyone or any way to meet someone new at the moment. You’re not keen on the idea of dating apps either, as you feel like you’re not that fun in chat, and it just feels too unnatural to meet someone new that way. Especially a potential lover. Damn all these standards you’ve set for yourself!

Sakusa speaks up, “I get that, and I don’t understand what girls want either.” Sakusa doesn’t usually talk much during your discussions, but he enjoys listening to you and Komori's thoughts. Right now, he finds himself agreeing with you on the topic. Everyone knows that Sakusa isn’t the most socially adept person. He doesn’t easily make new friends, despite knowing many people from all the training, practices, and matches he has been involved in. However, he can't exactly call them friends. That's why he treasures this friend group, even though one of its members is literally his cousin. It’s something he can describe as “cousins by blood but friends by choice.”

Given this, it’s not hard to understand why it’s not easy for him to have a romantic relationship either. He can be attracted to someone—he experienced it several times during his school days, having little “relationships” that lasted only a few months. But these days, it’s getting harder to form meaningful connections. Lots of girls try to approach him, fans and acquaintances alike. Some have piqued his interest, but nothing has gone beyond a few dates. So, he truly gets it when you say it’s tiring.

“What?! So you don’t understand me?” you exclaim.

Sakusa rolls his eyes. “No, I understand you. It’s different. We’ve known each other since high school.”

“Ha. Right,” you reply with a hint of sarcasm.

Komori is silent, looking at both of you intently. He clears his throat, “Hey, you know, right? There’s something called platonic marriage?”

Sakusa stares blankly. “What’s that?”

“I know!” you chime in. “It’s like you’re married, but you’re not actually involved romantically.”

“Oh. I’ve heard of them. Interesting, I guess,” Sakusa responds.

“Yeah. It’s like you can get the marriage benefits without having to deal with all the emotional roller coasters that relationships give you,” you explain.

“True. But it’s too creepy and risky, right? To marry some random strangers?” Komori folds his arms and laughs.

You give a distasteful expression and respond quickly, “Of course! I wouldn’t dream of it. If I ever wanted to do a platonic marriage, it would be with someone that I know quite well.”

The three of you suddenly become silent. Komori smirks at you and Sakusa.

“What are you even implying?!” you demand.

“Hey! It’s not crazy, though! You mentioned it yourself.” He makes quotation marks with his fingers. “It would be with someone that I know quite well.”

You widen your eyes. He’s right, you think. But still, it’s borderline crazy and something that never crossed your mind. Sakusa? And you?! Sure, you think he looks good. But then again, you’ve never considered any of your friends ugly! Moreover, you’ve always seen him as your friend since the beginning. Which… is actually the definition of platonic. It’s perfect! Shit… But Sakusa would never agree with this kind of thing… right?

You steal glances at him. Fuck. He actually looks like he’s thinking about it. It’s not the usual indifferent face he’s making. He’s thinking. Wow. Years of friendship really do give you the ability to differentiate his micro-expressions.

“Look. It’s just… an idea. A good idea, can I say?” Komori wiggles his eyebrows and smiles proudly. “Given you guys’ predicaments. It’s like the stars aligned, y’know? I’ll definitely support you guys. There. You guys have my blessing,” he laughs.

You and Sakusa exchange quick glances. He shows a lack of repulsiveness. Now that you think about it, this thing actually fits him. But does he really think it is a good idea?

“Some friends do make marriage pacts or whatever it’s called,” Komori adds.

Oh, right. You definitely have heard about that. Something like if we’re not married by the age of… we should marry each other.

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard something like that. But isn’t it complicated?” you ask.

“What would be complicated? It’s all for convenience, right?” Komori replies.

“That’s just insane, though…” you mutter.

You all go silent for a bit but then you try to change the topic and continue to talk about other trivial life updates. Other things that aren’t awkward and, again, crazy to think about. Your mind isn’t ready to handle the full visualization, especially with Sakusa right in front of you.

After another hour, you and the other two decide to head home. You still have to work tomorrow, after all. Urgh, the work thoughts on Sunday are the worst. These meet-ups with Sakusa and Komori always prove to be very recharging to your mental battery. You’re so glad to have this monthly meet-up with your two precious friends.

On your way home, you replay the conversation you had earlier about the platonic marriage and can’t help but think of how good of an idea it is. The words “financial” and “someone to come home to” ring in your head. Shit. You do often feel lonely in your apartment nowadays.

If you ever agree to do something like a platonic marriage, the idea of being married to Omi doesn’t sound bad at all. Your very dear friend since high school. Someone you’ve known for more than 10 years. Someone who knows your antics and vice versa. He can be a pain in the ass a lot of times, insensitive at times. But the good thing is that you can be blunt with him. He might be an ass, but he does always listen whenever you scold him for anything insensitive he does.

But anyway, it’s just an idea. It will be forgotten, right?

Spoiler: No, it’s not.

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ohbloggerimagines · 1 year

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nsfw hcs for kinks/habits rocket has ?

UH YES absolutely i can do that

i hope this is what you wanted and if not you let me know <33

(also sorry to anyone who doesn't use she/her pronouns its just easier for me to write like that ;-;

Of course, he’s very into marking his territory. Biting, scratching, the whole like. Masochist, but a gentle one. He’s been through his own pain and doesn’t want to see you in too much pain…unless you ask for it..

He loooves to use his mouth. Cunnilingus, analingus, he just absolutely adores pleasuring you with his tongue. He’s not just good at using it for sarcasm.

Into the smell and taste of sweat. It’s a little weird, but he equates it with hard work. His scent power is just so strong and he finds your smell just so sweet and inviting. Absolutely loves on you after any workout or the like. You have caught him smelling your clothes and once even your underwear. (But you only caught him one time.. Who knows how often it happens?)

Bondage!! He himself hates being tied up of course after what happened, but he is very into tying you up and marking you up. He will always make sure you are comfortable, but the second you give him the go ahead its game on.

Very dominating in the bedroom. He will harass and tease the hell out of you just to watch you whimper and squirm, and definitely derives pleasure from you being under his control.

Lowkey into feet, but very lowkey. They’re just so different from his! Loves to massage your feet or just touch them. Not super into them sexually, but he gives them their time to shine.

Loves to roleplay, his favorite is pretending you don’t know each other at the bar and flirtin’ you up and trying to get you home with him. He enjoys the looks he gets from people seeing someone like him picking up someone like you. Into the whole “I’m gonna have to arrest you, sweets.” “What would I have to do to get out of it..?” type roleplay too.

Loves using things on you and in you. He loves being inside you on his own, but being in control with a remote vibrator in public? He just about loses his mind watching you try and hide your pleasure when you’re in a meeting and he’s using the damn thing on you. Has used a paddle on your ass a few times.

He isn’t super into being dominated himself, but he’s let you do it a few times just to see you happy.

Into nipple play, loves licking, touching, biting, anything to your pretty nipples and rubbing your chest.

Whenever you say his name he gets excited, especially in the bedroom. Enjoys hearing it roll off your tongue begging for mercy. “Rocket..” “Shit, Love it when you say my name..”

Whenever he knows you’re in the mood, he can smell it. And oh does he love to deprive you of it until you’re practically grabbing him. There’s been a few times where you’re in public/the presence of everyone else and he just knows. He does not let you live it down. “Were you thinkin’ about me earlier, doll? I could tell you wanted somethin’.”

Gets horny at the wrong time all the time. You just turn him on soo much. He’s pulled you into the bathroom more than once for a quickie. The thought of someone catching you both gets him going. He acts cool and collected while you’re trying to stop your legs from shaking before you walk out and act like it didn’t happen. Even though half the time it's easy to tell..

Stoick and snarky to you in front of everyone else, but in your room, its all ‘good girl’ ‘my girl’ ‘princess’

Loves degrading.. “You like that?” “Take it.” “You are so easy..” “You came already? Fuck, I’m good.” “Don’t you dare come, or else I’m done.” anything like that he loves growling it into your ear.

Can go for a long time. But when he comes its like a fucking waterfall.

You get him back, though. Loves your gentle touching of the metals on his back and chest. Says he hates when you touch his tail but it’s because it just sends some type of shock and pleasure through him. Enjoys when you just love on his body since he thinks he’s not worthy.

He will take care of you after everything is done, though, he makes sure you get the after care you deserve and curls up next to you and praises you when he’s done fucking the shit out of you.

#rocket raccoon x reader #rocket raccoon #gotg #gotg3 #hes a kinky little shit #hc #rocket raccoon hc

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paintingwhiteceilings · 8 months

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Can you do Male Reader X EXO?

So, its basically when either Male reader or an EXO member is struggling with his homework.

❃EXO and helping with your school/uni work ❃

A/N: Heyyy, I am so sorry this took as long as it did. I had to take some time off of posting on Tumblr as I am about to start my graduation process for my RMA. In a way, it was super cathartic to write this prompt so it became a bit of a mix between school and uni work, I hope you don't mind :')

Regarding male x-readers: I try to keep my prompt as gender-neutral as possible, mostly so anyone can insert themselves regardless of whether they identify as male, female, non-binary, etc. However, I am totally open to doing any LGBTQIA+-specific prompts, so feel free to do so!

Xiumin/Minseok:

✾ Considering this man is rumoured to have a PhD (although not specified in what), you would think that he would be an amazing person to have around when you are struggling through your homework/coursework. However, being smart doesn’t always equate to being able to offer understandable explanations.

✾ His brain skips so many steps when he is tackling a problem or working on an essay. He knows why something is right or wrong, but he can’t really explain how he got to his answers. It comes so naturally to him that he struggles to dissect his thought processes and convey them to someone else.

✾ Ultimately, he will convince you to email your teacher/professor; they can explain it much better than he can, anyway. After having corresponded so often with professors during his own studies, he is more than capable of helping you with formulating your email in such a way that they would agree to help you out.

✾ Still, after having studied as much as he has, he understands the struggle of keeping up with homework/coursework. Considering he got his degrees whilst being an idol, he is incredible at planning his work efficiently. Thus, he instead offers to help you with creating a schedule, giving you a more healthy work-life balance.

Suho/Junmyeon:

✾ Well, considering that he has an MA in Cultural Management and talked at Stanford (plus it has been proven time and time again that Suho is incredibly intelligent), he is one of the best members to go to if you ever struggle with your homework/coursework. He strikes me as someone who, although they are incredibly smart, can explain his inner thoughts very well.

✾ Give him a whiteboard, and he will shine. Don’t ask me why, but I can totally imagine him being one of those people that is convinced that “you have to visualize things. Write it down to have more space in your head to think.” Does that work? Maybe. Is it annoying to be told time and time again to “just draw it”? Yes.

✾ If he isn’t familiar with the topic/class that you are struggling with, he will take time out of his busy schedule to familiarize himself with it. He will find a couple of sources or a handbook so that he can read up on it.

✾ A part of him enjoys studying and learning together, smiling the entire time as you do so. Despite your own stress on why you can’t seem to work through the problem/assignment, you can’t help but return his quiet enthusiasm.

Baekhyun:

✾ Another member who went to university to get his degree (although I can’t find out whether he has a BA or MA, sources are so incredibly vague) and is probably used to studying whilst being unbelievably busy. Furthermore, Suho has said before that although Baekhyun tends to be the mood maker of EXO on camera, Baekhyun is a deep thinker and has many philosophical conversations with him in private. Therefore, I can imagine him being another member who would be good at conveying his thoughts very well, offering you a coherent explanation.

✾ He would be an expert on making studying fun. Instead of having to cram a bunch of facts or read a long dry article for your next class, he would find a way to gamify it, turning it from a long boring study session into a fun competition. Although he might not be a huge help regarding the content of your class, he would help you to keep your motivation while studying.

✾ At the same time, I can totally see Baekyhun being a massive distraction while studying. You will be trying to solve a problem or work on that lengthy essay, and Baekhyun keeps trying to get you to pay attention to him, as he is too restless to sit still and study. He strikes me as someone who tries to convince you to do it tomorrow instead.

Chen/Jongdae:

✾ He has an MA in Media Advertisement so you can bet that he can sell a story. I am pretty sure Media Advertisement falls under either business or communication studies, so he will probably be not too shabby at statistics either. He will, therefore, not only sell you on why studying this particular subject is fun, but he will also be able to help you actually study the contents of most math-based subjects.

✾ Chen probably is too busy to delve deeply into the subject matter that you are trying to grasp, though. He will try, nonetheless, to work through it with you. He will sit next to you as you try to solve equations, and although he might not have mastered the theory himself, he will try to learn it with you, giving you a fresh set of eyes.

✾ I think rather than being incredible at explaining stuff, he would be an amazing person for emotional support. I can see him prioritize calming you down first and having you take a step back from studying to clear your head. He would make sure that you stay hydrated and fed while studying, preparing a bunch of snacks beforehand that he will hand out as a reward for making it through another chapter.

Chanyeol:

✾ Am I tired of repeating myself and saying “This member is smart because they got their degree”? Yes. Am I insanely impressed with most of EXO going to university whilst balancing their studies with a full-time idol career? Yes, and I will never shut up about it. Anyway, yeah Chanyeol went to university bla bla, making him, not just smart, bla bla, but also hard-working, bla bla. You know the drill.

✾ Regardless of whether Chanyeol is well-studied in the field you are struggling in, nothing will stop him from becoming an expert. He is reading up on it as if his life depended on it, driven by his strong dislike of being bad at something. It doesn't matter whether you tell him it is okay and that you can always ask a fellow student or your teacher/lecturer; he is having none of it.

✾ At this point, he is more frustrated about not grasping a particular part of the theory than you. Even after you two manage to work through your homework/coursework, he will continue to read up on the topic until he fully understands it.

✾ He might be an overachiever and perfectionist who could’ve very well used the time that he spent on a piece of information he will never ever use again more wisely, but if anyone ever needs to know more about that specific theory, he can tell them everything.

D.O./Kyungsoo:

✾ Listen, I love him with every fibre in my body, and I will continue to do so until I turn to dust, but Kyungsoo has admitted, on several occasions, that he is not a big fan of studying. Sure, he got his degree, just like the others, and got his culinary license, indicating that he is more than capable of retaining a ton of information and working through difficult assignments/problems. But, does he enjoy studying? No, not really; he got it over with and seems glad to be done.

✾ So, when you ask him to help you with your homework/coursework, he will remind you, at least seven times, that he isn’t too good at studying and that there are better people to ask for help instead. He will try his best, albeit reluctantly, reminding you continuously to lower your expectations.

✾ In the end, he will try to help out in a different way, either by supplying you with a ton of study snacks or recounting how he worked through tough assignments back when he was in university, with the hope that maybe it works for you as it did for him. He makes sure that you are as comfortable as you can be, convinced he can’t do much more than that.

Kai/Jongin:

✾ Listen, don’t get me wrong, I adore Kai. However, I have to say that he is not the brightest when it comes to academia (at least compared to the rest of EXO) or, like, his common sense. Yes, he had his moments of genius in New World, and I am sure that when it comes to memorizing dance and lyrics, he is insanely good. However, give him a math problem, and he will cry.

✾ Kai strikes me as someone who was exhilarated to be done with school, not seeing the point of going to university like the rest of his members. When you ask him to help you out with your home/coursework, something inside of him dies as he knows nothing that will be leaving his mouth will be helpful. He is too sweet to say no and will try his hardest to help you with whatever you are struggling with. Nevertheless, he is even more lost than you upon reading your assignment, confused by all the fancy words the assignment seems to be using.

✾ Nevertheless, Kai would be an amazing person if you need someone to talk to without necessarily needing any advice/answers, just to get your own ideas out of your head. He knows exactly when to nod and say “hmhm”, aware that you don’t necessarily want to get his input, only needing him to work through your thoughts and ideas on your own.

✾ Honestly, he gets an A for effort for me. Kai is good vibes only, and he would give you a hug for support.

Sehun:

✾ Another one who is glad he finished school and never has to go back. Again, don’t get me wrong, I love Sehun, but you can’t deny that he isn’t the smartest person in the room. As Suho said during EXO Ladder, “I think, they (the beluga whales) have the same IQ as Sehun” after noting they have an IQ of 60-90.

✾ Where Kai still tries to help out, he flat-out refuses. What do you mean you need his help finishing your work? He is so unapologetic about it too and slightly offended; why did you have to remind him about the horror that is school? He left that behind him and under no circumstances will he ever be dragged back in. He is rich, and he needs no degree.

✾ Such a bad influence on you as he tries to keep you from doing your work. “Well, if you are struggling with your homework you might as well take a break and go to the convenience store with me.” Funnily enough, it actually helps to clear your head. Sometimes the best thing to do is to step away and try again with a clearer mind. Sehun maintains that it was his plan all along; you doubt it.

✾ He will end up asking one of his members to assist you with your homework, calling in a favour with, for instance, Suho. They are all down bad for him, so you end up with the best tutors EXO has to offer.

Masterlist

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snakes-are-the-best · 4 months

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What's up with Alastor and Husk? Hazbin Hotel Theory (More like questions)

So I was re-watching Hazbin Hotel and got a few questions. So we all know that Alastor is a narcissistic, self-centered, sarcastic person that enjoys looking down on others. But we also know that he HATES being in the “shadows” of other people. He hates it when Carmilla says she doesn’t care he is back (episode 3), he hates Lucifer as soon as he lays his eyes on him (Lucifer is the king of hell, leagues above Alastor) (episode 5), and most of all, he hates being on someone’s leash. He despises being put in this position so much, he threatens to kill Husk were he to make such a remark ever again. (episode 5) And this last part got me thinking.

Considering his reaction, we can safely conclude, that Alastor is faaar from being ok with someone controlling him. The mere mention of this fact triggers an outburst of rage and cruelty. He also desperately tries to find “a backdoor to the constraints of the deal” (musical mental breakdown, episode 8). So if this is the case, he would never willingly tell anyone about it. So why does Husk know this in the first place? Alastor himself would never tell him, if only for his own prideful nature, his ego would never allow him to share such an information. Plus, he owns Husk. It’s not like Husk is his equal. So how did this happen? Was Husk there when the deal was struck?

To further add to my notice, in episode 5, when Husk talks about Alastor being gone, he hesitates a bit at the start, something he never does with anyone. In the earlier episodes, he openly curses in front of Alastor and does not care two pence about his reaction. In episode one, he loudly complains about being forced to play bartender with Alastor in the room. Throughout the series, he constantly stays in a foul mood and does not even try to make an actual effort, just does what he is told to. Here, however, he takes a breath before talking, almost like he understands it’s a delicate matter. Then, when he mentions “it’s not like anyone knows why” his tone sounds like HE knows. So here is my first question: how and why does Husk know about Alastor’s deal and his absence period?

Secondly, once again taking Alastor’s disdain of being on a leash into consideration, how is Husk still alive? Killing him at this point in the story is a no go, that would arise questions from everyone and would risk Charlie’s anger and possible exclusion of Alastor from the hotel and its business. I am talking about the period before Alastor came to the hotel. Even if his deal (according to some popular theories) obliged him to go straight to the hotel after his return, there was no need to pull Husk into this equation. He could have summoned any other minion as a bartender and then been on his merry way to kill Husk. And sure, I’ve seen people say, why would he kill Husk when he already owns his soul and has him frightened? Well, the thing is, Husk isn’t exactly forbidden from talking about the deal from what we’ve seen (he openly mentions the leash in front of Alastor), so what if, one day, he said "screw it" and, one way or another, shared the details of the deal with someone like Vox? And even if he couldn’t do that, wouldn’t it be safer to erase the only known person that has the information about the leash Alastor so despises? Would losing one soul not be better than the potential threat to the deal’s secrecy? Especially, when the said person absolutely HATES Alastor’s guts? Could there be a deeper connection to these two than just a slave and an owner? Maybe they knew each other when they were alive? Both lived sometime during the 1900-1930s.

In conclusion, I present two questions: why and how does Husk know about Alastor’s deal and why is he not dead yet?

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel husk #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel carmilla #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel vox #alastor's deal #radio demon #husker #alastor #alastor the radio demon #please share your thoughts #this is my first theory #help

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deans-baby-momma · 1 year

Text

Law & Love Chapter 19

A/N: Only one more chapter left guys. I hope ya'll have enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

It was only about half an hour before I saw headlights coming toward me as I stood at the entrance of Walker farm.

The vehicle slowed and I immediately recognized Beau's red truck. I smile as I step forward and grab the handle when he comes to a stop.

"Hello stranger," I say, happy to see him but that joy quickly fades when I see his face. His brows are furrowed and his lips are clamped into a thin line.

"What are you doing here?"

Okay, he was upset. If his face hadn't given it away, the anger in his voice surely would. But why was he mad?

"Told you I came to visit a friend," I explain again. "But we had a disagreement and I don't know if I can still consider him a friend."

"Him? Who's him? He wouldn't be a Texas Ranger would he?"

"Uh…..oh-" I say as I realize Beau and Cordell know one another. In fact, that's how I met Cordell; he had come to Helena looking for the man beside me. "-yea. But I'm guessing you've already figured that out."

Beau didn't say anything, just dropped the truck in gear and started driving down the dark highway. It was quiet in the cab, other than Beau's brooding.

"How did you become friends with Walker?" he queried about five minutes later.

"Funny story," I say, trying to lighten the mood. "He came up a few months back, looking for you. Said he needed help on an old case you two worked together on."

"Mmm," Beau hummed and I started considering how much to tell him.

"Listen, this was not long after you left and came back to restart your life with your family. I was-" I pause to think of the right word to use. "-bitter. I felt rejected. I know you and I hadn't really labeled what we were, or weren't but I was feeling down and saw him as a way to try and get over you so I asked him out."

Beau doesn't say a word, he is listening but not giving any input so I continue. "After our date, he left the next morning but we kept in contact…"

"Your date lasted all night?" Beau asks and I see him grip the steering wheel tight, his knuckles turning white.

"Uh, yea. He spent the night with me." I know I'm making myself out as a slut but I've decided to come clean - so I do. "We had sex."

"I got the obvious hint."

"So we exchanged numbers and texted or talked everyday. I thought we were becoming more than friends, but apparently I was wrong."

"Y/N," Beau says, and his voice is softer now, almost imploring. "What did he do?"

I shrug, now feeling like an idiot for thinking we were anything more. "Nothing, really. Just put some things into perspective for me."

"That's……vague," Beau announces. "Do I need to turn this truck around and go kick some Ranger ass?"

I laughed. "No. It's okay. Not even worth your time. He's a player. Sex for him is just a way to pass the time. I'm the one who brought intimacy into the equation."

The rest of the drive back is quiet save for the radio playing on low, barely audible. I use the silence to recall all that has happened in the last year of my life.

I leave a narcissistic boyfriend and move halfway across the country, get a job, make friends, get a stalker who almost kills me. One of the so-called friends betrays me in the foulest, tasteless ways - get chummy with and end up moving in with the acting Sheriff at the time - only for him to leave to go back to his ex-wife. Then meet a man who I think could be something more, only to find out he is the exact opposite of who I thought he was.

To say my life has improved is laughable. Maybe I'm the problem. The common denominator in all those scenarios is me.

“So, um-" I break the stillness. "-how's your wife, Carla, is it? How does she feel about you coming out to pick me up?"

"She doesn't know," Beau grunts out.

"Oh? Keeping secrets already? That doesn't sound proactive to your relationship."

"Mmhmm," Beau hums and turns into the parking lot of a hotel. I'm surprised that they live here, seeing as his wife and daughter always seem to be so well off when I'd met them before.

"I don't live with Carla and Emily any more."

That statement shocks me. I have so many questions. Why? What happened? Is that why he said he was coming back to Helena? But it's my turn to stay quiet while he talks.

"It's not working out between us," he says. "I thought we could be a family again, give Em a stable family foundation but," he pauses and I watch him run a hand over his mouth and down his chin, over the beard there. "Some things have been brought into perspective for me too."

A few hours earlier…….

Looking over the printed page of his words, Beau nods to himself before grabbing the pen and signing his name. He opens the drawer in his desk and slips the page into a notebook; he isn't completely ready to turn it in and doesn't want anyone to see it before he can hand it to his chief.

He walks toward the entrance to the police department and steps out into the warm sunshine. Pulling the sunglasses down over his eyes, he strolls down the sidewalk toward his truck. He is on a mission.

Once across town, he parks on another street and gets out, looking across the two-laned road at the offices of Gibbs & Watson Law Firm.

Inside the skyscraper, on the 12th floor is the only obstacle in the way of his plans: Carla Delugo-McAllister, paralegal to one of the firm's lawyers.

This isn't the first time he's visited her while at work, but this is by far the most nerve-wracking. He pulls one of the double doors open, holding it for an elderly couple who was exiting. He nods a welcome to them as they both thank him for his kindness and then heads inside toward the bank of elevators.

Once on the correct floor he strides toward the reception area, smiling as he sees the receptionist, Shayla, adjust herself when she sees who is approaching.

"Ms. Kenney, how're you today darlin'?"

Her cheeks blush and she tried to suppress a giggle. "Good, Officer Arlen. You here to see Mrs. McAllister?"

"You are one sharp cookie," he teases. "Is she available?"

Shayla picks up the phone and punches in a code before speaking. She nods toward Beau and he smiles his thanks before rounding the desk, heading down the hall.

As soon as he steps into the office, he sees Carla studying something on the computer in front of her. Her eyes never leave the screen as she speaks.

"This is a nice surprise."

"We need to talk," he says and Carla finally looks away from whatever she was working on and turns to him.

"This sounds ominous."

Beau gently lays it out for her. How Emily was invited back up to Montana to help with Sunny Day Excursions, how he wants to be honest and truthful with her.

"I've come to realize that I'm not happy here anymore, Car. I miss the mountains and the fresh air."

"You're going back for her, aren't you?" Carla says, sitting back in her chair, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

@spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @sandlee44 @blacktithe77 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissorss @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @deans-spinster-witch @yvonneeeeeeee @tmb510 @globetrotter28

#law & love #beau arlen #cordell walker #big sky #walker #texas ranger #y/n #bean x y/n #walker x y/n #not spn

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measuringbliss · 8 days

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Let's make some positivity. Say something about a ship or ships you really like. What kind of ships? Everything counts!

Difficult question!

I really like the whole Phoenix/Kristoph/Apollo (throw in Klavier as well if you're so inclined) dynamic and I like all their permutations.

Apollo has SUCH a crush on Phoenix, he's clearly very important to him, but I like that he's not completely head over heels for him. He's pissed off for most of his game, really, which adds dimension to their relationship because I like it when things get a little rough.

And similarly, as you yourself noted in a post of yours, Apollo's relationship with Kristoph is not just professional. Kristoph's mentorship isn't cold, he praises Apollo during 4-1. It feels genuine.

So what I'm saying is that Apollo has daddy issues.

And THEN you have the fascinating dynamic between Phoenix and Kristoph that I personally find extremely charged. A lot of it lies in how ambiguous it all is. Phoenix notes he never really knew how to feel about Kristoph, which is bonkers considering they've been friends for supposedly 7 years. They're both looking at each other's back both for support and to stab it, they don't even hide how complex their link is in the courtroom, I can totally see either of them trying to push things in a more sexual (not necessarily romantic) direction.

So you have this trial that oozes sex and betrayal, and Apollo's between them and his role is just as fascinating in this trial.

Apollo/Klavier is cute but it's a bit too nice for me. I want the dubious consent, the schemes, the many ambiguities.

That's why I think that 4-1 is so good. The writing is good, the mystery is interesting, but most of all, the dynamics at play are something that were never showcased by the series before, because even in AA3 you're not as lost.

It's a banger trial.

And then you get to Kristoph's scenes in his cell, in 4-4 and even the MUSIC sets a sensual, but dark mood. And Phoenix's interaction with Kristoph is still very charged.

And putting Apollo anywhere in the equation makes it even more interesting.

I'm also fine with Apollo/Phoenix without Kristoph, but 4-1! Just 4-1! It's so good!

So I guess I love ambiguity in my ships. When I write, I rarely explain what goes on in the character's mind. I prefer to have some mystery.

My relationship with AA is kind of weird though. There's a case I never finished (3-3), games I never finished (SoJ, AAI1, DGS1-5 although I'm remedying the latter), but two Youtubers I like are going through the series and I got pulled back in after YEARS.

I was in Japan and bought merch! Can you believe that? I certainly don't.

I bought a Hobo Phoenix plushies and 2 room diffusers (Klavier and Apollo).

Anyway, thanks for the ask! How about you? Tell me about ships you enjoy.

#Ace attorney #Shipping #Asks #Proship #apollo justice #phoenix wright #kristoph gavin

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tqmies · 2 years

Text

Description. Now armed with a new support system, you're ready for anything that'll be thrown at you. That is, until your world starts to shift out of order. And unfortunately, Taehyun is taking this way harder than you.

Pairings. Kang Taehyun x Female Reader

Genre. Angst, Fluff Kinda, Comfort. (This is a self ranting again lol.)

Warnings. Pregnancy (Not MC), Everyone's an emotional wreck, Taehyun's pushing everyone away, MC is confused half the time.

Word count. 6.7K (Why do I keep doing this?!)

Note. This is Part 2 of Free Somebody. I don't recommend reading this a stand alone, as you'll be very confused. Also this is once again based on real events, and I tried to convey my thought process as best as I could but.. LMAO. Some things end up unresolved but that is real life so, bear with me and enjoy.

IN THE FEW MONTHS YOU SPENT TOGETHER, YOU FIGURED OUT KANG TAEHYUN WAS HARD TO READ. Not that you held it against him or anything, but he kept you at a sizable distance and rarely shared his emotions with you.

It felt kind of embarrassing at first, seeing as you opened yourself to him so early on. Sure, it wasn't on purpose but it still happened.

So for him to call for you in such a frantic mood, said a lot about the his state of thinking right now, and you didn't know what to make of it.

Meanwhile, Taehyun felt like his world spinning out of control. All of this was happening, too much too fast.

You stood by his door, him having called you a couple minutes prior. He was scared, and he didn't want to be alone right now. Sure, the two of you weren't suddenly the best of friends. But right now, he just needed a set of ears to listen, and you were fine to oblige.

One of the perks of not being super close was that you wouldn't judge him for his reactions. You didn't expect him to hold it together or be something he's not. No, you caught the rawest sides of him, as he had seen yours. He had tried his best to keep you at arms-length when concerning his emotions, but right now was different. You knew when he pushed his pride aside to pick up the phone and call you, that this was a big deal. Though, didn't that just mean you were closer than you thought?

"I feel sick." Taehyun mutters, motioning for you to enter his room.

"What's wrong?" You question, noting the silence in the apartment. "And where are your roommates?"

His face goes pale at that. They were the last thing he wanted to talk about right now, or for lack of better words, one of them.

"I don't know what to do." Taehyun says, not looking up. His minds fleshing out a million thoughts and solutions, all written neatly side by side. Something of a white board in a science class, formulas drawn all across the expanse, but instead of equations it was just his bleeding problems.

"About what?" You say, growing anxious at the lack of explanation. He was clearly bothered by something, but his resistance in remaining secret was off putting.

"I'm supposed to be the rational one, the problem solver, but I have no idea what to do." He sighs, staring down at his hands.

"That's normal." You respond, moving to sit on the chair by his desk. Trying to collect your thoughts on what would be best to say next, though first you'd like to know what's shaken him up like this.

"Sakura's pregnant." He blurts out, your head whipping around to meet his. He almost flinches back as he said it, not expecting to be so transparent with you. Taehyun also knew it was none of his business to share, but he couldn't help it. It was like you had suddenly turned into a magnet that pried all this information out of him.

He felt his resolve slipping away and he hated it. For once he felt like he couldn't tighten his grip on his emotions.

"What?!" You whisper-yell, dumbstruck. "How do you-"

"I saw the test in the trash." Taehyun reveals. "Beomgyu's the father."

You run your hands through your hair. "This can't be happening." Taehyun had just dropped a huge bomb on you and was talking like he was discussing his lunch plans. One would think, how is he so collected? But you knew better, by the slight shake of his hands and his drawn out breathes, he was scared.

"Are you sure its her's?" You ask, maybe this was a misunderstanding.

"Soobin hasn't been with a girl in months. And he'd never be stupid enough to trash a positive test. Plus Beomgyu's straight in love with Sakura, it's not possible to think he would cheat." Taehyun says, recalling how he saw the stick sitting upright in the bin.

The words entering your head as you think. There could be another explanation right? Taehyun wasn't even fully sure, how could he be reacting like this?

"This is my fault. I led her straight to him. I never thought they'd be so reckless." He confessed, the words coming straight from his heart.

"Are you serious? They're adults Taehyun! This was their responsibility ok?" You speak, still a bit shaken by the news.

Your best friend was pregnant? How far along was she? When did she find out? What was she going to do now?

"But she's not ready for a baby, much less with Beomgyu."

This was truly a terrifying situation.

"Do you think she has a plan?" You ask, chewing your nail.

"I doubt she has one. Probably hasn't thought it through that far."

"We're not even sure that's what's going on." You attempt, trying to clear his thoughts.

Though you found it kind of hard to understand Taehyuns worry, it was a baby. This was not the end of the world, it wasn't even happening to him. Sure, things would change. But change is good, right?

Though, you'e determined to be there for him. So you try to comfort him the best way you know how. By distracting him.

You clap your hands together. "Okay, why don't we do something?"

"What?" He groans, not believing you had just said that.

"Lets watch a movie, something to take your mind off of things."

"I don't need to take my mind off of things." Taehyun maintains. "I need to figure out a solution."

"So then you called me for no reason? 'Cause we don't know shit right now, Kang." You fire back, not fond of his attitude. Though you were unsatisfied with your suggestion as well, what other choice did you have? He needed to calm down before he blew up at Beomgyu, or worse, Sakura.

He knew why he had called you, not for you to just pop up with a solution. He called you cause you're the only one who can ever manage to get him to stop overthinking so damn much.

"Pick whatever you want." He gives in, patting the seat next to him on his bed before handing you the remote to his TV.

You smile at his compliance and grab the object before flipping the screen on. "It's okay to be worried, I'm scared shitless too. But let's relax for a minute."

He lays back on his bed as he pulls the covers over the two of you, "What? I'm cold."

You just giggle as you press play on a movie, the previous qualms forgotten in favor of the crappy Netflix Original you had picked.

...

You stir awake as you begin to hear hushed voices. Oh, had you fallen asleep? Obviously, by the lack of light shining through Taehyun's window, you two had indeed knocked out. He still lays beside you comfortably, head resting on his arm as he remains napping. The end credits of the subpar movie you had put on rolled, indicating you two slept for around two hours.

You lean up and rub your eyes, throwing the blanket off of you. You really had to pee, which must've been the reason for your sudden awakening. Or maybe it was the small whispers that crept in from the living room, you didn't know. Were his roommates back? Was Beomgyu here?

Quietly, you patter over and open the door slightly. Making a beeline for the restroom, you sigh as you finally get to empty your bladder. After washing your hands, you attempt to silently make your way back to Taehyun's room, hoping to avoid confrontation with whoever was home. Sure it's not like anything happened, but it'd be awkward to explain why you were cuddled up with Taehyun in said boy's room.

Unfortunately, you don't get so lucky this time.

You hear the question of your name as you turn around. Beomgyu standing in the hall to see you, Sakura right behind him. Her face lights up as she see's you. "Hey! What're you doing here?"

Though you fear her tone is a bit too loud, and are scared of the two possibly waking Taehyun. He wouldn't exactly be thrilled to see the two of them anyways, so you figure you're doing them a favor as well.

"Taehyun's asleep." You whisper quietly, gesturing for them to lower their voices.

"Asleep?" Beomgyu blinks. "You were with him in his room?"

You just nod your head slightly. "We fell asleep while watching a movie."

"Yeah right." The male snorts as Sakura elbows him. She gives him wide eyes before telling him to knock it off.

"Well I'm glad you're here. I need to talk to you both." She says, a huge smile on her face.

"Me?" You feign, pretending like you didn't have a clue. You can practically feel your face draining of color. So it was definitely hers.

"I was going to text you earlier, but I wanted to wait till we saw each other in person! But this is perfect!" She squeals, "I'll go wake Taehyun."

"I'll do it." You stop her, before catching yourself. "He's kind of grumpy today."

"Oh okay!" She says, not giving it another passing thought as you walk into Taehyun's room.

To your surprise, his eyes flutter open as you open the door. "Where did you go?" He grumbles, still somewhat asleep.

"Bathroom." You brush off. "But you need to get up."

"No."

"Sakura and Beomgyu are here."

And he shoots up, all signs of tiredness gone from his face. "What do they want?"

"I think she's going to announce her pregnancy." You say, eyes darting around. "She said she wanted to talk to us."

"Tell them I'm not in the mood."

"Taehyun." You reason. "She's your sister, and he's your best friend. Can't you at least pretend to be happy?"

He sits up as he slides off the bed, mumbling an annoyed "Fine." As he slips his shoes on. Clearly unready to look the two in the face.

He opens the door as Taehyun dons a bored expression on his face. Beomgyu doesn't miss a beat. "What took so long? Was she helping you pull up your pants?"

Taehyun doesn't respond, instead choosing to look over at his sister. "What's up?"

She smiles for the millionth time as she looks at Beomgyu. He grabs her hands in his, giving her reassurance. "I'm pregnant."

Taehyun just looks back at you. "I know."

Well that was anticlimactic.

"What?!" Sakura exclaims, taken aback.

"Genius here left your test out in the open." Taehyun says, pointing his head towards Beomgyu.

Sakura death glares her boyfriend before looking back at Taehyun. "You don't have anything to say?"

"What do you want to hear Sakura?" Taehyun begins, his attitude about to slip through.

"Congratulations!" You squeal, interrupting the tense atmosphere. "I'm so excited! How are you feeling?" Someone had to be the bright one around here. You know the pair was expecting some kind of celebration.

"I'm going to be a mom!" Sakura gushes, holding onto Beomgyu's shoulder. The fake smile remained plastered on your face, did she know what was coming? Had this been on purpose?

"Wow , a mom with an over demanding desk job, and a dad who acts like a child himself. Your baby will be a real kicker!" Taehyun remarks sarcastically. The grin is wiped off your face as you pull back on his arm.

Shaking your head, you notice the two in front of you stayed silent.

"Aren't you happy for us?" Beomgyu questions, caught off guard.

"Happy?" Taehyun says, looking between them. "Happy that you ruined your lives?"

The silence speaks for itself. Your heart growing heavy as you watch the upset look on the couples face.

"Okay," You interject, eyes looking from their dejected ones. "Taehyun and I are going to get some food before he can say anything else he'll end up regretting."

Sakura just nods as you grab onto Taehyun, angrily dragging him out the door as he mutters something about the situation. How could he be such a rainy cloud on their obviously sunny moment?

You could talk out other things later, but right now you were just focused on helping him get his coat on. Giving him harsh looks as you can't believe he really said that to them.

"That was insensitive." You speak as you close the door behind you two. Walking out of the apartment complex with a frown.

"What's insensitive is them thinking they can provide a suitable lifestyle for the baby." He says with his head hung low.

"That's not our business to worry about." You respond, shrugging. "We just have to be there for them anyway we can."

He just scoffs. "Easy for you to say. You don't have to be 'Uncle Taehyun' all of a sudden."

"You'll be a decent uncle." You tease.

"Does this mean Beomgyu will be my brother-in-law soon?" Taehyun's jaw drops.

"Woah, who said they were getting married?"

"No one." He shrugs. "But the two are so in love that it'll probably happen."

"See, they love each other." You point out, opening the door to the restaurant the two of you frequented. "They'll make it work."

"Love doesn't pay the bills." He replies as you two enter.

"No." You agree. "But it helps."

"You're so naive."

"Maybe." You say, dropping the topic as you two sit down to eat. "Oh, but before I forget.."

"Yes?"

"You have to apologize."

"For what?!" Taehyun speaks. "For telling the truth?"

"It wasn't your place!" You say back, careful to mind the volume of your voice. "You really hurt their feelings."

And he rolls his eyes before muttering a small fine as he looks over his menu. He was convinced you were the only person in the world who could get him to see the fault in himself sometimes. It was a weird trait, but he couldn't say it was bad. You kept him grounded a lot and he appreciated it. He hoped he had made as much of a difference in your life as you did his.

Standing in the grocery aisle, you looked over the several different types of jams and jelly's on the shelf. Which one would Taehyun like anyways? I mean, you were only really buying it for him. He was the one who came over and complained (About three different times) about your lack of ingredients for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Goodness, he took a lot out of you, but it was worth it if it meant cheering him up. You knew something this small could make his mood a little better. And right now, anything would help.

You pull out your phone, contemplating calling him when you hear the sound of your name called out. You lower your phone and turn around quickly, met with a face you hadn't seen in months.

"Yeonjun." You squeak out in surprise. Your eyes drift to where he has about four liquor bottles in his hands, eyebrows raising.

"Oh, these?" He says, noticing your eyes. "Old habits die hard, I guess."

You offer a meek smile. "Big party coming up?"

"No." He shakes his head, before quirking it to the side. "..And yes?"

You just giggle lightly. "Nice."

"It's my birthday next week." Yeonjun states, averting his eyes. You remembered, of course you had. This was one of your closest friends just mere months ago. The memories were forever etched in your mind though, you'd never associate that day with anything else.

"Well, happy early birthday." You nod, not really sure what else to say.

"I want you to be there." He blurts out.

Your eyes widen at that. "Yeonjun-"

"Wait, before you shut me down." He starts, his brain gearing into overdrive. "There will be no drinking or weed, and it'll just be a couple of people."

"I don't want you to change things for me." You respond, waving him off in an attempt to deny the invitation. "Enjoy your birthday."

"You could bake me a cake." He begins again, not letting up. "Like old times. It'll be a calm thing, like a peaceful parting."

You feel uneasy about it. "I don't know."

"I promise I'm not trying to make this weird. I would just like us to celebrate this last birthday together." And Yeonjun sounds sincere, looking down at the basket he held in his hands, awaiting an answer.

"I have your number." You smile, and he caught onto that you'd think about it. Though you knew what your answer would be the moment he had asked. So after grabbing the most appealing brand of jelly, you went straight for the baking aisle.

By the time you got home, you were ready to crash onto a pillow. Loading groceries and putting them up had taken forever. Though you had made plans with everyone this afternoon, wanting to ease the tensions lately. Beomgyu and Taehyun weren't really on speaking terms, and Sakura was going to have a meltdown if they didn't get it together.

Taehyun was arriving soon, planning to help you cook. He had been mostly compliant with the idea, not wanting to cause his sister anymore stress, though you knew he was having a hard time. Still, you had appreciated his effort.

You groan as you hear the knock on your door, you figured you should just give the boy a copy of your key anyways. Him and Sakura could share with how often they came over.

You let him in and watch as he slips his shoes off. Hanging his jacket as he places a few bags on your counter, mostly last minute stuff like drinks and cups. He stretches his arms as he begins opening your cabinets, taking things out as you sit down in a chair by your counter.

"Get to work, Taehyun." You smirk.

"That's Chef Taehyun to you!" He rolls his eyes and you laugh.

You help cut a few vegetables and season a few things as you make mostly light conversation. It felt good to talk about mindless things like new tv episodes and office gossip. Definitely a change in the usual topic of conversation lately, and you were thankful for that.

Taehyun finished dinner right on time for the others to arrive, both of them giving him a shy smile. Tensions completely obvious, but he was keeping it together.

And he did just that. For a while, it seemed like it was just the four of you, normally eating a dinner together. Conversation was mostly cut short though, no one really speaking up besides complimenting the food. You all did this pretty often, so it was almost like nothing had changed.

Nothing had to anyways. Right?

"You know," Sakura begins. "I was really thrilled when you invited us all to dinner."

You can tell shes itching to say something, so you play along. "Mhm, why's that?"

"Well, I have something I want to ask the two of you."

You go cold, what could she possibly need to ask you and Taehyun? It felt like everyone just wanted to drop bombs on you lately. So you held your breath.

"I want you guys to be the baby's Godparents."

Taehyun visibly stiffens at that, even allowing his fork to fall onto his plate with a loud clank. His eyes never leaving the table.

"Me?!" You question. You understood Taehyun, that was her brother. But you? You had only known Sakura for about six or seven months now, but she trusts you with her child? This was huge.

"Yes you!" She says, offended that you seemed so surprised. "I trust no one else more in the world than you. And I know that if anything were to happen to Beomgyu and I, that you would take that baby in with no hesitation."

You sit back in your seat, this would a lot of responsibility. What was even included in being a baby's Godmother?

"Taehyun." She continues. "You are my brother, the most responsible person I know. And Beomgyu and I trust you so much as well. I have no doubt that you two could work together in the future for this baby."

"Well, if we die, that is." Beomgyu attempts to lighten the conversation.

"I'd like time to think over it." He responds, grabbing his fork and resuming eating, seeming indifferent.

You know Sakura wants to say more but she backs off for the sake of keeping everyone off edge.

"I accept." You say, causing Taehyun to whip his head around. Sure, this was a lot of process in a few days, but you love Sakura. You'd like to think she had helped change your life for the better, so you'd be there for her. If roles were reversed, you know she wouldn't hesitate to do the same for you. Even if it was for something kind of far fetched, more of a title than anything. If it made her happy, then you would do it.

"Well, I was thinking we could make it official on Friday."

"I can't Friday, it's my friends birthday." You mention as you pout.

"Awe," She responds. "Ok, we'll do Saturday then?"

"Sounds good." You say, looking beside you. "Maybe Taehyun will have decided by then."

"Who's birthday is it?" He asks, changing the subject. "Can we come?"

"Oh, it's not a big party." You say. "Just a few of his close friends."

Beomgyu nods in understanding. "Sounds nice."

"You seem nervous. Something you're not telling me?." Taehyun pipes up again, you bringing a spoon to your mouth. He's onto you.

"What're you talking about?"

"Can we please just eat?" Sakura interjects, you and Taehyun looking shocked to her outburst. Even Beomgyu had an unexpected expression.

You just nod and offer an awkward smile. Everything was happening way too fast, so you couldn't blame her for snapping.

You nudge Taehyun on his arm. "So, how's the food?"

"Fine." He responds through gritted teeth. You sigh, he always loved talking about you two's meals. Saying how he wish he did things different, or that he loved the spices you added. But even that couldn't get him to speak again.

You're about to say something else when he suddenly stands up. Everyone looking up at him as he abruptly grabs his jacket.

"Taehyun?" You call out.

"I'm going home." He says, not even sparing you another look.

And you'd had it up to your ears with his attitude, your blood practically boiling. "Okay, then go."

And he looks back at you with a twinge of surprise evident on his face. You weren't going to ask him to stay? Or ask why he was so upset?

No you weren't. He wouldn't either after the way he's acted.

"I'm sick of all of you acting like this is normal. Like I don't have a right to be upset that my best friend knocked up my sister! Two of the most important people are starting a life that has no room for me!" He bursts, emotions pouring out.

"It's incredibly selfish of you to try and make everyone else miserable with you!" Sakura fires back. "I'm a grown adult, and I love Beomgyu. You are trying to make my baby all about you! I won't have my child around an uncle that sees them as an obstruction!"

"Then don't." And he walks towards your door. Slamming it on his way out, causing you to shrink in your seat.

It's silent for a couple seconds as Beomgyu runs his hands over his face. Sakura sitting back in her seat, obviously hurt.

Well this went to shit fast.

"He's taking this really hard." You speak up, attempting to defend him, when you're not even sure why.

"I know but I didn't expect him to react like this." Beomgyu says.

"He was so supportive of us dating too.." Sakura adds.

"Having a baby and dating are two different things." You remark, the two chuckling lightly.

"You can go after him, you know? We won't be mad." Sakura says, and she can tell that you so badly want to. But you surpress the feeling as you shake your head.

"He doesn't deserve it."

"He doesn't deserve you defending him either."

And you know she's right.

You don't talk to Taehyun for the rest of the week. Nothing so much as a text or phone call from him either. You feel somewhat hurt. You thought you two had grown an actual friendship, but it seemed so easy for him to cut you off. Like you had meant nothing.

It was all too familiar.

So it was ironic that you were slipping on your shoes to head to Choi Yeonjun's little birthday party. You had iced the cake that morning, taking extra long too, wanting to make a good last impression. That's right, last. You figured you really should just close things out on a good note. Seeing as you were struggling elsewhere, you figured you could do good with the one thing you had control over.

You put the cake in a little stand and headed straight for the front door. By the time you settled into your car, you see an incoming call from.. Taehyun?

"Hello." You say blankly as you bring your phone up to your ear.

"Can we talk?"

"Not unless you're ready to apologize."

"I am, please, can I come over?" He pleads.

"I'm busy tonight, remember?" You respond quietly.

"Then after?"

"Taehyun.." You trail. "I'm going to see Yeonjun."

You couldn't see him, but you could see his expression now. This would be like a slap in the face to him. Though, you knew your true intentions.

"Why?"

"I don't owe you any kind of explanation." You speak as you start your engine. Your stern take surprising even you. "I don't know when I'll be home, talk to you soon." You hang up the phone before he can get another word in. This night was going to take a bit out of you, and you didn't want Taehyun's intrusion to sour your time even more.

You just shake your head to yourself as you pull out of your driveway. The drive to Yeonjun's house is a short, familiar route. You wonder if this will be the last time you ever drive here.

You park next to what you recognize as Chaewon's car, wondering if she's aware that you're coming. Was Wooyoung? You throw the thought out of your head, it didn't matter if they knew or not. This was Yeonjun's day, and you were only here to make your last amends.

You can feel your hands somewhat shaking as you carry the cake to his front door. You couldn't believe you were back here after months. Would this change things? Would you fall back into them without the support of the others? And with the tornado that was your other group of friends? No, no you wouldn't. You would be strong, you got here through your own realizations. You were just here to suffice a last wish to one of your oldest, yet dying, friendships.

You knock gently on the door, unable to really ring the bell considering the cake that took both of your hands to hold.

The door swings open to reveal Wooyoung, the smile fading from his face as he see's you. He comes to a realization as he thinks out loud. "So that's why he said no booze."

Looking down at the cake in your hand, he moves to take it from you. But you're quick to brush him off as you smile awkwardly. "I got it."

And as you follow him into the house, you had confirmed the suspicion you had before. They hadn't known you were coming, and now you feel weird as everyone else might just think you decided to drop by.

Wooyoung moves some things off the kitchen counter so you can set the cake down, his hand grazing yours as he helps you put it down. You realize in that moment, that you felt nothing. It was a reassuring feeling, closure that your feelings had faded away. You weren't sure what to do with that information, but it did help anyways.

"Yeonjun, look who's here!" Wooyoung yells out to the living room.

The aforementioned is quick to stumble into the kitchen, eyes widening at your form. "You came!" He says, moving to look at the cake, almost like he didn't think you would. "It looks so good."

"That's what she said." Another voice remarked from behind him as they entered the area. It belonged to a male you'd never seen before, and a girl followed behind him on his arm. Were these new friends?

Yeonjun's quick to introduce you as a friend, to the new additions to their group, Mingi and Yunjin. Yunjin seems surprisingly ecstatic as your arrival, "Chaewon has told me so much about you! I've been wanting to meet you!"

"Yeah, Wooyoung say's you're the one who dyed his hair." Mingi speaks up.

"That was a long time ago." You say, you had only bleached it months ago. His new color was all due to his own touch ups and such.

"You got me something?" Yeonjun asks, looking at the bag hanging from your wrist. You had somewhat been at a loss of what to get him, only being able to use something your friend liked as reference.

"Uh," You stammer. "Taehyun say's they're like trending right now, so I picked one up for you."

Yeonjun smiles before taking the jacket out of the bag, his face lighting up. "I love it!"

And you grin, "I'm glad!"

"Taehyun? Like Kang Taehyun?" Yunjin qualms, quirking her head to the side. "Is he your boyfriend?"

You're about to shake your head when you stop yourself. "We're friends, I think."

"You think?" Wooyoung repeats.

"I-" You pause. "I don't know."

You really didn't, sure you guys could probably chalk up to close friends. But was that true? You looked out for each other a lot, but would Taehyun ever call you his friend? Would he?

But feelings were confusing. 'Cause at the same time, you felt maybe he could be something more to you. Something past the line of friends.

"He used to go to school with Mingi and I, super cool guy." Yunjin explains, smiling at you.

"Really?" Yeonjun says, sounding somewhat skeptical. "When I met him he was a sqaure."

"Hey," You say sternly. "He's fun."

Yeonjun backs off, quickly trying on his jacket. "Just saying."

"How do you not know what he is to you?" Wooyoung teases.

"I guess I never thought to ask."

"Yeonjun! I swear if I have to- Oh." Chaewon stops herself as she walks into the room. Spotting you as she all but gasps. "Hey."

"Hi." You manage to get out quietly.

Chaewon crosses her arms, "So are we like.."

You shake your head slowly. "Yeonjun just asked me to be here, to say bye, I guess?"

"Bye? Are you moving?" Yunjin asks.

"Something like that." You smile reminiscently. It would be easy to word it that way. You were moving, away from this life.

"Did you bake the cake?" Chaewon looks over at you.

You nod softly.

She smiles.

...

The night went better than you had imagined. You guys did stupid things like playing board games and telling stories. You warming up to everyone rather quickly. Nothing was awkward either, no one mentioned anything about your fight or sudden distance. It was just a normal hangout, minus the drugs of course.

The boys were currently playing a round of some video game on Yeonjun's tv when the girls huddle in the kitchen. Chaewon drinking sprite and Yunjin taking hits from her vape as you spot the tattoo donning her arm.

"That's badass." You say, her tilting her inner arm towards you so you can see it better.

"Thanks, Mingi has a matching one."

"You have couple tattoos?" You ask.

"Yup. We were wasted when we got them though, don't recommend."

And you just laugh. "That's.. admirable."

"Her and Mingi have been dating for like 6 years." Chaewon explains, your eyes widening.

"That's so cute." You grin, and it genuinely was.

"So what about you? Anyone special?" Chaewon smirks.

You sigh. "I'm not sure."

"Is it Taehyun?" Yunjin questions.

"Why do you say that?"

"I can tell by the way you've been talking about him like all night." Yunjin states. "Like earlier when Wooyoung brought up that new restaurant and you said you and Taehyun had already tried it. Or when you talked about the time you two went bowling. Or how about-"

"I think she gets it." Chaewon interrupts, laughing at the expression on your face.

Had you really talked about him that much? "I guess we just spend a lot of time together." You shrug.

"More like all your time." Yunjin winks.

Realization might as well have slammed you in the face. Maybe it would be more gentle to get by a bus than this. Did you like Taehyun? Is that why this was all so confusing?

You open your mouth to respond when Mingi comes barreling into the room, "Who want's to watch scary Youtube videos since it's midnight."

"Midnight?!" You exclaim, and as you check your phone, it confirms it is indeed about ten past midnight. "I should get home."

"Awee," Chaewon pouts. "But we're having so much fun."

"I'm sorry. I have something I need to do." You apologize.

"When will we see you again?" Yunjin pouts as she leans into her boyfriends side.

Chaewon grows silent as do Wooyoung and Yeonjun when they approach. All awaiting your answer, those three being the only ones who know why you're hesitating. Yeonjuns eyes light up expectantly. "You're welcome anytime."

You nod. "I don't know, when I have time, maybe."

But the three know what that means. "Thank you for coming. I had a good time, and I hope you did too."

"I did." You ease, grabbing your purse. You bid them goodbye, and Yeonjun pulls you in for a hug. Wooyoung follows as well, with Chaeown practically crushing you with her embrace.

"Until next time." Yeonjun nods, you trying not to notice the tears forming on his face.

"Yeah." You mutter.

Now, in the safety of your car, in your apartments parking lot. You want to bang your head against the steering wheel. Were you a fool? A fool for abandoning your closest friends? Or a fool for reuniting with them after you promised yourself you were done? You won't cry, you won't cry, oh. You're crying, but only a little.

You push all thoughts to the back of your mind, ready for a hot shower and bed. Just wanting to be freed from your thoughts for a little while.

Though that's all thrown out the window when you spot Kang Taehyun waiting at your front door. You just stop in your tracks, scoffing. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk."

"So you waited here the whole time?"

"The whole time." He confirms, pacing back and forth.

You step to unlock your door, him waiting outside as you step in. You turn and gesture for him to follow you, giving him permission to enter. In all honesty, you were drained and did not have to deal with whatever it was that Taehyun was so upset about.

Especially now that you felt you didn't know where you stood with him? Yeah this was a wreck.

"So," You begin. "What did you come all this way for?"

"I've been thinking, a lot. About a lot of things, like my sister and my best friend. And about you." He stops. "We haven't talked in a while."

"It's been a few days." You tsk, annoyance taking over. "This couldn't wait until tomorrow?"

Taehyun ignores you as he continues. "I've been miserable these past couple of days, and not just because of everything else that's been happening."

"Go on." You sigh.

"I think I love you." He reveals, eyes blown as he looks up at you.

"Don't say that." You whisper, avoiding looking at him. He couldn't be serious, how could you not have seen it? Because he couldn't be. No, Taehyun was just confused. He was trying to cope, and he was confusing his platonic appreciation for you as romance. That was the only viable explanation.

"Don't say what? The truth?" He speaks up, looking almost offended. He had just bared his heart to you, and you won't even hear him out?

"You're upset." You breathe. "You're upset and you're deflecting."

"What does that have to do with-"

"You're just happy I'm here." You cut him off as you fumble with your hands, scrambling to rationalize this."Your life is changing, and I'm just a constant. If it had been anyone else, you would have confessed too."

"That's not true." Taehyun speaks out in denial. "If you want to reject me just do it, but don't say my feelings aren't real."

"Oh c'mon!" You throw your hands up. "You don't love me! Do you even remember what you said to me when we met?!"

"You're not that person." He responds, exasperated. "I was an asshole to you because I thought I knew you. Nothing can excuse that but-"

"So what?" You interrupt once again. "You know me for a few months and now you think you've got me all figured out?!"

"Why won't you just accept it?!" He fires back. "I love you."

You stay silent, throwing your head back as you listen. He said he loved you, and you hated how your heart skipped a beat.

"And don't say it's not real because it is. I'm in love with you, not the person you've pretended to be. I love the way you care for me, the way you know how to cheer me up, the way you force me out of my shell. I love simple things like your hair, your smile, your sense of humor, and everything else." He pauses as he stares at your silent figure. "I've never felt this way about anyone."

You won't even face him, opting to look towards the ground. This was all too much for one night.

He stands as he fights back tears. "Are you going to sit here and tell me you don't feel it too?"

You have to lie. You can't accept his confession. You can't be in love with Kang Taehyun. You won't allow yourself to be.

The last time you fell in love with a friend, you ruined everything.

"We're too different-" You calmly start.

"No we're not, you said it yourself." He speaks truthfully. "And so what if we are? We could work through differences because that's what people in love do."

People in love?

"What if this ruins everything?" You tear up. "What if we don't work?"

"Then we worry about that later." Taehyun responds.

You take a seat on your couch, head in your hands. "There's just so much going on right now."

He cuts in before you keep going. "I know, and not having you by side made me realize how much I need you."

"Why? You're the strong guy here, I'm just the weak one who keeps falling back into her old-"

"Hey," He stops you. "I understand why you went to see Yeonjun. He was your friend for a long time, it can be hard to say no. I don't care if you hang out with them, as long as you're staying true to who you are."

You grab his hand from where it sits beside you on the couch. Holding it between yours as you wipe your tears with your other hand. "We can do this right?"

His eyes flicker to yours as he nods softly.

So you kiss him, and it feels right. Like you were meant to be here, kissing Taehyun at one in the morning. The both of you with tears in your eyes, but no care in the world besides each other.

There were still problems, yes. But they weren't going to be solved right now, you couldn't do anything, so you'd leave it up to the universe to worry about that. It's incomplete, yet you know everything will be okay in the end.

Much like real life.

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mikuni14 · 7 months

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The Sign - Ep 12

If you are a fan of The Sign and enjoyed the last episode, please do not read any further. Believe it or not, I don't want my negative opinion to affect your good mood 🤗

Okay, so I hated the finale 😆 The series ended exactly as I feared it would. With what was also the worst thing about the Last Twilight finale and why I hated CharlieBabe's relationship: namely, when one person call the shots in the relationship, makes all the decisions on their own, including the most drastic ones, and lies to the other a person "for their own good", and the series shows this as something positive and romantic. I hate these tropes, i.e. forced separations, fake deaths, making decisions for two without talking about it, and noble sacrifice without informing the other person about it. I hate showing it in a romantic light as the ultimate proof of love because it IS NOT proof of love. This only proves that 1) you don't trust the other person, 2) you don't believe that he or she is a rightful member of your relationship 3) you don't believe that you can talk to this person, that this person will help you, advise you, support you 4) you subconsciously question their intellectual and emotional abilities 5) you think that this person needs to be babied and you are the only adult in this relationship 6) this person does not deserve to make a decision in their OWN CASE, their OWN LIFE. Tharn decided to "save" Phaya and grandma by leaving with Chalathorn, he made the decision thinking what was best for them, but never considering IF THEY WANTED IT. The sight of grandma fainting, and later clutching her heart and losing strength as Phaya cries in the hospital scene, the sight of Phaya's utter despair as he is unable to function normally, go to work, live, who spends every waking moment looking for Tharn - yes, THIS is it the "life" that Tharn had so nobly sacrificed for. THARN NEVER EVEN THOUGHT TO ASK PHAYA AND GRANDMA IF THAT'S WHAT THEY WANTED. HE MADE THE DECISION FOR THEM, LIED TO THEM UNTIL THE LAST MOMENT AND LEFT THEM ALONE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

What I ABSOLUTELY HATE is that Tharn has NEVER even wavered in his decision, even though Phaya MANY TIMES, including on their last night, tells him, begs him not to leave him and to trust him, that Phaya will always be by his side. And I also ABSOLUTELY HATE the fact that when Tharn returns, Phaya tries to explain to him how hard it was for him, what a traumatic experience it was for him, and Tharn doesn't even let him finish. How can I support such an unequal relationship? How could I trust Tharn if I were Phaya? Our Dating Sim showed how such separations affect people's mental health. However, Lee Wan realizes this and when Shin Ki Tae breaks down, he lets him talk about his fear and then comforts him. And he doesn't shut him up.

I admit I lost it when Tharn said to Phaya and Doc "Please stop killing each other" lmao what? Are you equating your boyfriend who had to fight for his life and the guy who tries to kill him in every incarnation, including when he is still a child? What about this sick symmetry? 😆 Of course, nothing compares to the fact that Tharn stayed with Chalathorn for a whole year because he felt sorry for him, while his grandmother (the heart-clutching one, you know which one) may have had a heart attack, and both she and Phaya are in agony and losing their health ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I loved Tharn, he was my favorite character in The Sign. And in the end he became the worst.

What was really funny was that in the end, NOTHING depended on Tharn and Phaya, it was Chalathorn - a murderer, manipulator and kidnapper - who made them happy 😄 And finally, they even thanked him and Phaya promised him to take care of Tharn, as if the doctor were the father of the lovely girl, who was being given away for marriage. Just kill me now 👌 Their love turned out to be completely pointless, because everything was decided by CHALATHORN, and everything related to their relationship took place offscreen and was actually a result of coincidence. Chalathorn even gave life to Tharn, gave him his soul. Thus proving that Phaya was useless to Tharn. Amazing 👌 Their love is based on fear, death, and separations and making the same mistakes, instead of taking action together, trust, faithfulness to each other, and mutual support. In their relationship, only Phaya makes an effort, I stopped feeling Tharn's love a long time ago. Tharn has always just surrendered to what is BAD happening around him (because Tharn/Wansa always surrenders to Chalathorn, not relies on Phaya/Garuda). The worst thing is that Tharn from the beginning of the series WAS NOT LIKE THAT 😤

THE POINT OF THIS SERIES WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THAT THIS TIME PHAYA AND TAHRN WOULD OVERCOME KARMA TOGETHER. They were to break this cycle with precise instructions from the abbot. Not only did they not overcome it, but they repeated it exactly to the letter. This raises the question: what was the point of all this, if Phaya and Tharn repeated the cycle of love, despair and death and got out of it thanks to someone else's decision? Is this a series then… about Chalathorn? 😂 HOW CAN I SUPPORT THIS RELATIONSHIP AND BELIEVE IN THIS LOVE WHEN ULTIMATELY NOTHING DEPENDED ON THEM AND THEY DID NOTHING TO SAVE THEMSELVES AND SAVE THIS LOVE. Oh, by "they" I meant Tharn.

What else was weird:

how is it that Doc is suddenly so sacrificial and willing to let Tharn go when he was willing to destroy his own soul just to kill Phaya and take Tharn like 5 min ago???

where are the Chart scenes? Khem and Thongthai?

random scene with Phaya's sister and Dao who is in France? Anyone interested in this?? So there was time for THIS, but not for Chalathorn and Tharn?

The finale otherwise had no emotional impact in the most important scenes:

Tharn joined the police to solve the mystery of his father's death, Akk had his entire agenda in this matter. However, after the killer is arrested (with Chalatorn's help lol) it doesn't feel like it has any major impact on either of them

Chart almost died. He didn't even deserve a single scene with Akk, who would thank him or just talk to him (I don't care about it, just to close this thread)

Khem almost died. We only see him once more after that. He's fine 🤷‍♀️

there are no scenes of Tharn reuniting with Yai, grandmother, or even the abbot

the sex scene is boring, repetitive, with weird music at the beginning that doesn't match the mood, the sight of them kneeling on the bed with pixelated butts, their dicks touching, with their pants around their knees is nothing but ridiculous. The whole scene is overshadowed by the fact that Tharn is lying to Phaya, that he's giving him something nice before he leaves (pity fuck) and taking fond memories with him (selfish fuck), and basically we all know it's a goodbye fuck. That is, everyone knows except Phaya, who, like Babe and Mhok, is oblivious at this point and happy to have it all taken away from him by someone he loves.

Actually, the last time this show was nice was when they still called each other bolster and jellyfish 😄 Also, if I'm not mistaken, all but one of the flashbacks in this episode were from episodes 1-5, plus the sex scene from ep. 7. Because back then the series was still good and it was about PhayaTharn. How could such a perfect series fuck up so much?

What was good about the finale? Just like in Last Twilght: the hets. Thank you Yai for being there and maintaining your integrity from start to finish 💖

To sum up:

I love The Sign ep 1-5 and the pink scene

I don't like The Sign ep 8-11

I hate the finale (I won't even write about how two weeks ago the finale with an unhappy ending was shown for free for peasants, and for money you could watch the finale with a good ending lol).

Everything that was wrong with The Sign is summed up in these words:

LMAAAAAOOOOOOO 😂😂😂

#the sign the series #bl drama #thai bl

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jaymber · 11 months

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Second Conflict

Timeline 20151 - Protagonist : V Temarii

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V managed to pull Nancy out of the Maelstrom nest without much issue. If Johnny was delighted to see her again, V kept quiet. He felt still resentful at the way he had been treated before going to Kerry's mansion. A weird bitter knot was building in his stomach. He had been Johnny's only friend and confident for weeks now, suffering or enjoying the engram's company. Suddenly, old friends were showing up left and right, putting Johnny in a better mood than V ever could. It pissed him off, even more so when Johnny seemed completely clueless to the way he felt.

"Shame Henry blew it," the dead rockerboy kept rambling, "But man, this is preem. Samurai: back for one night, and one night only! Can't remember the last time I felt that excited. Eh, think I do, actually. 2007. One hell of a gig, and an even better afterparty, if you know what I mean." "Johnny, c'mon." "Man, you really are getting jealous," he teased, reappearing before his host, "You're lucky I find it cute. You're like a desperate little groupie. I missed this. Hey, V, wanna feel the real Samurai experience? I have the perfect idea on how to unwind until Nance-"

"I'm good, Johnny," V grumbled as he pushed him away, "Lil' groupie's done for the day."

V laid down in bed in silence after lighting a cigarette. It softened his mood a little, but Johnny didn't take kindly to being ignored.

"Fuck, what got your panties in a twist this time?" he mocked, "Gave me the green light on this idea, want to back off now? Or is this about Kerry? Mad I'm having fun with someone that isn't you, or disappointed I won't give him the Rogue treatment? Huh? Ignoring me, now? Fuck, V, we really back to that?" He simply wouldn't shut up, and V snapped.

"You're a fucking asshole, know that?" he yelled, "Still only fucking care about yourself. Rogue lead you on, and that sucks, but why you gotta make it my fault?" "V, what-" "You acted like I wasn't ever there! I tried talking to you, but you just ignored me! Closest friend? My ass! Only had Kerry on your mind!" "That has nothing to do with Rogue. Sreamsheets said-"

"What fucking screamsheets?" "Right, you weren't there." "Mean when you betrayed my trust?! So why did you wait to get into Rogue's panties first, if checking on your best friend was so important?! That's just another fucking excuse! You just wanted a distraction, and apparently, I wasn't enough." His voice suddenly broke as he swallowed back treacherous tears. He tried to hide his next words, but their minds was one, and they echoed in the tensed silence of the room. I'm nothing compared to them, am I? You're gonna leave me behind now that they're back in your life. "We both know that's not something I can do, V," Johnny said, and, feeling the wave of worry from his host, added, "And I wouldn't. Even if I could."

"Bullshit." "V, it's just old habits. Went to Rogue when I fucked up with Alt, went to Kerry when I fucked up with Rogue. Not used to putting you into that equation just yet. Was in my own head - forgot you were here." "But, I called you. Reach out for you." "Gonna have to listen harder, I guess. And you need to speak louder," he added, "Still need some getting used to - our situation. Usually, I’d just fuck off. Find a quiet place. Cenzon in one hand, Black Lace in the other. Get skizzed out of my mind, and find some easy groupie to bring home.” “Lucky for you: easy groupie's right here.” “You? With your constant whining and ball-busting? You make me work hard to get to you, V.” “And I should apologize for that?” he retorted, still feeling hurt.

“Nah. Thing is: I can’t do that anymore. Can’t wallow on my own. That, I’m still getting used to.” “Do you miss it? That method of yours?” “Why? Up to give me the reins once more?” he hoped. “Nah, but you got the company already. I can provide the buzz. Interested?” he proposed, clinging to the idea he could cheer Johnny up despite his doubts. He needed to feel useful. “See, V?" Johnny said, too distracted by his promise to worry about the knot in their stomach, "Thinking like a real rockerboy.”

#cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #male!v #oc: vaea temarii #silverv

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ecargmura · 2 years

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Buddy Daddies Episode 4 Review: This Family Has A Single Braincell

Thank you for enjoying my review of the first three episodes so far! I'm glad people are enjoying them! I'm happy to write them too!

This review can be found on my blog, which you can click here. If you don't want to read it there, proceed below.

There’s no action in this episode, but it does keep the zany comedy that the first two episodes had. I enjoyed it a lot, surprisingly! It did a good job of balancing the wholesome and comedic portions it presented throughout the episode.

This episode, Kazuki and Red are thinking about what to do with Miri. She’s a menace and only burdens them with their chores. Kazuki realizes that sending her to daycare might be the best for them as it can give her time away from home to socialize and get an education while Rei and Kazuki can focus on their chores and jobs. However, as two people with no idea how society works, they’re clueless on how governmental stuff works and eventually forges papers that can help Miri enroll in daycare. Is it that hard to enroll in daycares in Japan or is it for comedic purposes because Kazuki and Rei never experienced this before?

I really like how Miri is their top priority in this episode. Making her happy is what they’re trying to do. From forging documents to buying her all the clothes and toys she wants, they’re doing their best to be the best parents for her. They even made her a room! How sweet is that?

Ms. Anna from the daycare is a standout character in this episode. She’s sweet and wholeheartedly accepts Miri and her fathers; she does not question why Miri has two fathers, but does praise how lucky she is to have two fathers who love her, to which Miri becomes happy. The fact that she’s the one who tells Kazuki about Miri’s inability to make friends and how she suggested that they buy cheap, common items for Miri to help her fit in better. She’s so great. I hope she appears more later on. Her presence is wholesome.

Most of the comedy in this episode stems from Kazuki and Rei not knowing how to function properly in normal society and it shows so much. They’re clueless about government offices; they buy really expensive suits to show off on Miri’s first day; they buy so much clothes and toys for her without a care in finances. The episode reveals that Rei is wealthy, so the money is most likely from his pockets. I really like the segment of them going to the cheap store and buying everything they see without a care in the world; they all enjoyed their time too!

I’m surprised that no one really questioned Kazuki and Rei’s ‘relationship’ in this episode. Like, the papers Kazuki forged had him and Miri’s name on it, but their address is Rei’s. Do the people who saw them assume they’re lovers without verbally stating it? Do people think they’re roommates; no ordinary roommates would go to lengths to go to government facilities and daycares together. The fruity radar is off the hook! I wonder what sort of story the people around them think of them when observing them. Since the papers had Kazuki and Miri’s name on it, I assume people would think they’re relatives, but where does Rei fit into the equation? I know things will get questionably fruity in the future, especially with the moms and their hilarious group chat messages—another highlight of this episode; the moms are a MOOD.

One last thing I want to point out is Rei’s voice throughout this episode. From the first three episodes, Rei doesn’t really raise his voice or speak up a lot. However, this episode shows Uchiyama’s vocal range as he voices Rei’s excitement at the store. I really liked how he delivered his lines in this episode. The scenes where Rei tries to escape and Kazuki drags him back are HILARIOUS! Oh and Kazuki’s hilarious outbursts are another highlight. Toyonaga and Uchiyama are amazing voice actors; I want them in another anime together again!

I hope we get more of the action soon since this show is about two assassins. We haven’t had them do assassination jobs in two episodes. I hope the next episode gives us a return of the action. I really liked the action scenes in this anime; the first two episodes were so well-animated even from the perspective of a viewer like me.

#ecargmura #arumjournal #buddy daddies #review #anime #anime review #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #miri unasaka #Anna Hanyu #winter 2023 anime

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idrewacow · 20 days

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One of the things I really enjoy (and respect!) about your negitoro fics is how different Miku and Luka are with every fic. It embodies the spirit of vocaloid, I think, that they can be anything if put into the right setting and given to someone who knows how to use them.

There's no question that 'Tale of Survival' Miku is worlds away from 'Stray Cat' Miku, and 'The Reason' Luka is... quite different from 'Panthera' Luka, to say the least. And yet, I find myself immersed in the world of each fic so quickly that I wouldn't even think to doubt that this is them, without question. Within each universe, they've got spot-on, consistent characterization that just blows me away.

So my question is, if you don't mind sharing, what goes into the character planning process for your stories? How do you decide who they are for each new story?

Thank you!

That's quite a tough question, actually. A little bit of a chicken and the egg situation in this case, because it begs the question: what comes first, the story or the characters within?

It honestly varies immensely per project. Going into Tale of Survival, or Stray Cat, I knew exactly who I was writing because those were based off of prompts. So I went in going knowing who it would all be about, so crafting the story became an art of finding an interesting place to put these people. Then, once you put them there, you realize that their environment has an impact on these characters, and they change and evolve into someone new.

The Reason is the opposite: I wanted a very particular setting, a mood, a set of circumstances. I wanted a story to go exactly the way I wanted it to so I crafted a set of characters that would make the story move accordingly. But then the characters grow and you learn who they are and boom, their decisions go against yours and the story veers slightly out of control towards the end.

So as you can see, regardless of what I start with, whether it be characters or story, the other half of the equation inevitably ends up imposing itself. And as many authors know, it ends up working out anyway because stories are organic things. As long as things move forward and evolve, they're usually interesting by nature.

To answer on a more technical level, actual character crafting and planning isn't something I get very involved with. There are tons of guides out there, sheets to fill, advice for creating a consistent character, and they can all be helpful. But most of the time, when I put the pin down in what kind of character I want (whether I start with a character, or whether I need one for a particular story) I just kind of...go by gut feeling. I know exactly who I start with, and for this sometimes I do use these characters sheets and such. Plus, generally, I can guess how they'll fare and grow throughout the story. A character arc is always a must-have, after all. I knew that Luka in Space Shanty would go through a major transformation character-wise, otherwise she would just be deeply unsympathetic until the end.

But when it comes to the details, I just trust my gut to tell me how they'll reply, how they'll reason, what they'll think, how they'll prioritize, depending on their situation and who they are right then and there. If I need a reminder of who they are, I re-read the text I've written so far, placing special attention to their growth, what they've witnessed and learned, and what kind of flaws are still holding them back. Sometimes I'll make little notes: "Remember Miku doesn't know about xyz yet," or "Luka shouldn't accept xyz until abc," stuff like that. And always, upon re-reading after the first draft is done, I fix the pacing, tweak dialogue, because you never know exactly who they are and what they've been through exactly until it's all been written down and committed to the page. Kind of like writing the introduction of a paper only after writing the rest: it's best to write the introduction only after you know exactly what you're introducing. In my first draft, I didn't know that Luka from Stray Cat would make the move until she kind of just did, again, due to environment, interactions, and unanticipated growth. And once she did, I had to go back and make sure that it made sense for her character, and when it did, I solidified that.

Long story short, it's an incredibly vague and imprecise art for me. Which makes it a bit of a relief to hear that my characterizations are as solid as they are! But no character exists in a vacuum, spending time to carve one into stone has never helped me, and vibes are apparently just enough to get the job done. Write, re-write, read it again, write it all over again, all the while getting to know who you're working with and exactly what they're going through. Don't insult their intelligence, don't make light of their pain, don't skip on the happiness, know exactly what they stand to lose and what they want to gain. Make them wonder what they'd rather do: lose and keep what they have, or win at the cost of all they had. Even victory has a cost (at the very least, the sacrifice of the status quo), and you're never left with the same person you started with.

I hope that answered the question! Thanks again for the kind words. :)

#vocaloid #megurine luka #hatsune miku #fanfiction #writing

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sandrockianblues · 2 years

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*kicks down door* Alex from Discord here- give me headcanons for my main duo, Qi and Burgess. I need to know about them. I need more fuel for the fanfic fire.

🌻Burgess🌻

-Burgess gets antsy with leaving the task of watering the plants to anyone else and WILL make sure they do it by sneaking around and hiding behind shit

-one of Burgess’ favorite things is when Miguel asks for his help with weeding and planting new life near the church grounds. It’s one of their bonding moments

-Burgess’ favorite song is You Are My Sunshine. He sings it for various moods, and it alleviates his nerves just a little.

-it’s not something he tells the builder, but rather they find out on their own because he subconsciously does it. Singing it to him or when he’s around gives him this strong sense of peace and comfort. He doesn’t like to make a big deal about it but he appreciates it an overwhelming amount

-taking long walks around town and looking at the thriving plant life is one of his favorite things to do. Suggesting it as a date will make his entire day and he’ll think back on it for the rest of the week

-start pressing flowers in books with him! He starts to worry about those that are frail and weak. The ones that are helpless as soon as their stem is near snapped off and can’t be fixed. Start a journal where you press flowers in it and write about where it was from, the day the builder and him found it, what it symbolizes

-start looking into what flowers symbolize too! It’ll become a new hobby to share with one another

-pet names are great and all, but nothing is gonna make him feel more loved than calling each other by a flower as well. Like “My daffodil”, “my rose”, “blossom”, etc

-he won’t admit it, but he secretly wishes to have Macchiato for a pet. She’s just so cute and her fur is so pretty when she sunbathes between blades of grass. He’s got such a soft spot for her and unlike Banjo, she doesn’t eat at the plants.

-he actually surprisingly likes to link arms more than hold hands! There’s a certain closeness to the body it provides and feels more intimate. He’ll hold the builder’s hand, ofc, but he’s not prone to linking fingers together as one would think.

-he enjoys picnics between the small collected trees not too far from the builder’s workshop! It’s peaceful and shaded with the few plant life around

🚀Qi🚀

-just, just get an unlimited supply of tea.

-when he desperately needs sleep and is too preoccupied to truly notice anything, switch his mint tea out for chamomile. Literally, he’s too distracted to actually know

-he loves to talk about space and theories and all that when given the chance and time. The builder doesn’t have to know exactly what he’s talking about. But just listening and watching him makes him feel like the most important person alive

-keep an eye out for any data discs that are actually movies! While he prefers sci-fi, he’s actually really fascinated with the Old World and is willing to watch anything “for the sake of science”

-waltzing in during the mornings with a cup holder filled with hot steaming tea actually brightens his day significantly and guarantees a more approachable Qi

-he won’t admit it for years, but he just loves when the Builder comes in with a book and settles in while he works. It’s that peaceful silence he can bask in because he’s got their company to tune into.

-having the Builder close by alleviates a portion of his stress. When his mind feels too rattled with information and hypotheticals and equations. Even Qi needs a break sometimes. Having the builder within view for when his eyes drift up is a weird sort of peace he’s come to love.

-asking him what he’s doing and then the five W’s and “how” actually helps him refocus when he’s losing track. Sometimes it helps with a breakthrough.

-making him rice helps him throughout the day, but he still needs proper meals despite not requesting it. A lump sometimes forms in his throat though when he turns suddenly only to find a plate of food there that he hasn’t noticed before- a sudden burst of love flooding him as he eats because he has someone to do that for him now

-the Builder can convince him to go to a fireside meeting- he’s just gonna make it their problem by being a loveable frustrating little shit

-Qi actually knows when he’s getting on their nerves sometimes and does it purposely when he’s getting bored with his work. There’s something about seeing the fire in his significant other’s eyes that triggers the need to work even harder so he can pay attention to them fully afterwards

-if he’s stressed, the sudden presence of their hand in his messy hair loosens him up and prompts him to stop for a second, letting him breathe. The gentle movements and threading of their fingers eases his nerves

-believe it or not, if he were to own a pet, it’d be CoCo. He’s utterly fascinated by the owl and respects the bird more than the majority of the residents of Sandrock

#my time at sandrock #mtas #sandrock #pathea #sandrock builder #mtas builder #Mtas qi #Sandrock qi #Mtas burgess #Sandrock burgess #Mtas head canon #Sandrock head canon #ask box #siren speaks

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couldntbedamned · 1 year

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Feels So Right, Can’t Be Wrong - Yellow Narcissus

Summary:

The setting: Sanctum General Hospital in Sanctum Heights, New Amsterdam Starring: Sharon Carter - former Central Security Bureau operative, Selecting Spouse in a horrifically failed Bureau of Civic Spousal Selections marriage, patient AND Anthony Edward "Tony" Stark - owner and CEO of Stark Industries, Futurist determined to rebuild a world his father built weapons to destroy, love interest With Appearances by: Nurse Wong, Orderly Rintrah, and Billy the Admin And Featuring Doctor Stephen Strange as "the Surgeon" Or, "Five Dates Tony and Sharon Had in Her Hospital Room and One They Had After She Was Discharged"

AO3 Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Marriage of Convenience, Past Sharon Carter/Steve Rogers, Getting to Know Each Other, Dating, Past Domestic Violence, 5 Times, Annoyed Stephen Strange, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Sharon Carter Deserves the World

Author’s Note: So this kind of just popped up as I was kicking around thoughts of just how Tony and Sharon met and eventually fell in love as mentioned in my fic Goodbye Grey Sky, Hello Blue, so this takes place well before the events of and can be read independently of that story.

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Yellow Narcissus

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Tony whistled to himself as he installed the double-oven units. He could have done it in his sleep, but for Stephen's peace of mind - the man was an admitted control freak - he followed the installation guide to the letter. He'd personally reviewed and signed it off, after all. He couldn't exactly go against the techie's union, either.

(Howard Stark might have disdained unions, but Tony liked to think he knew better.)

"I take it your date went well last night?" Stephen asked. He was drinking coffee from the newly hooked up Stark Coffee Press.

"It did," Tony confirmed.

"How long did you spend rolling in the sheets before you sent her on her way?"

Tony winced. The thing was, it wasn't an unfair question. His reputation as a playboy wasn't unearned... During the year in college they'd participated in the exchange and shared a dorm one semester at MIT and the other at Columbia, Stephen had returned to their room more than once to find he was locked out and Tony "entertaining" a lady. And yes, Tony had made a habit of either making his flings leave or leaving them. He couldn't fault his friend for assuming this would be the same.

But he didn't want anything related to Sharon equated to his past behavior.

Sharon was more than a fling.

"We had a very nice dinner, listened to The Lawrence Welk's Radio Hour, and I kissed her hand goodnight. Then I returned to my hotel room alone, where I remained. Also, alone."

Stephen raised a brow. "You're serious about her."

"I am," he admitted. "She's unlike any woman I've ever met."

"And you like her enough to listen to Lawrence Welk," Stephen said, amused. "I'm pretty sure my mother used to listen to that show."

"Rhodey happens to be a fan and it's rubbed off on me," Tony said. "So, it wasn't a hardship. The show featured a tribute to Mel Tormé. I happen to enjoy his music."

"Mel has some good music," Stephen agreed. "That's All is considered a classic for a reason."

"Nerd," Tony accused as he finished the last step of testing before he could start installing the broiler.

"Good music is good music," Stephen said, unconcerned.

"Speaking of music, are you getting that new PymCo. console? The house is wired for it."

"I'm planning on it. It looks like a neat piece of machinery."

"Definitely a nerd," Tony insisted with a grin, looking out from where his head was poked in the lower part of the cabinet.

"You are in a really good mood," Stephen said, setting his coffee down. "This is a different kind of good mood, too."

"It was a really good date," Tony hedged.

"Am I going to get the chance to meet this mystery woman?"

"Maybe," Tony said noncommittally as he checked the installation guide... okay, steps two through four were done. "The last thing I need is for her to look at Dr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome and forget all about little old me."

Stephen smiled wryly. "As if I'm the relationship type. No one would have me, not for long." The 'No one has,' was unsaid, but Tony knew his friend.

"Just you wait, Strange. One day you'll meet someone and that person is going to knock you to your knees," Tony predicted. "And they'll end up feeling the same about you, too."

"Unlikely." Stephen's mobile rang. He frowned as he read the display.

"Problem?"

"My admin, Billy, he said he's going out for additional women's toiletries for one of our patients." He shrugged. "There's only one patient I can think of that would even put in the request but she really doesn't seem the makeup type." He typed something into the mobile and put it back in his pocket.

"People can surprise you, Stephen," Tony said.

Sharon was getting makeup. He did his best to keep his grin to himself.

"I'm so sorry, Sharon. I know you were looking forward to going out tonight. I'll get you an ice pack, Doll, I'm so sorry."

Sharon studied her reflection with a critical eye. She hadn't worn makeup in a few months; there hadn't been a point in getting dolled up when Steve had been so unpredictable with his shell shock. She wanted to look nice for a change.

Most of the bruising around her eyes was gone and she'd managed to cover up what remained, pushing away the memory of a heavy fist swinging at her, too sudden to block. She painstakingly plucked her eyebrows into order - emphasis on the pain. Sure, it wasn't the pain of having her ribs broken thanks to a brutal kick from a six foot one mountain of a man with unerring aim, but it still stung. Her cheek was still a bit swollen from the fracture (Hand was right; you never expect the other fist.) but a deft hand with foundation and careful application of rouge made it work. Only... she looked almost like a doll.

"I can't believe I was lucky enough to end up with the prettiest doll of selecting spouse a man could get."

She picked a darker lip dye than she normally would have applied and used the eye pen she'd initially nixed along with a bolder eyeshadow; she didn't want to look like a doll.

It hadn't helped her, before.

"Maybe you shouldn't look and move like a target then!"

Since she wasn't allowed to have hot rollers or anything that could burn her, she made do with the extra-large soft rollers Dr. Strange's admin Billy was so kind to buy for her. She finished the rest of her makeup while her hair set and frowned when she realized she only had the standard patient scrubs to wear. She'd tempted fate by asking Billy to run out and buy her the makeup and hair supplies; she couldn't risk asking him for clothing, and there wasn't anyone she could really ask to go and retrieve some clothing from her now-vacant house.

"Sharon! Unlock the damn door! Sharon! Doll, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry and I promise I won't do it again. Sharon, please!"

"Just open the door! I feel fine now, I swear!"

"Sharon!"

"Open the fucking door!"

(Had anyone gone in? Had they seen the holes punched in the walls? Or where she'd done her best to patch them while guilty eyes watched? Had anyone cleaned up the blood on the back patio? Her blood? It had to have been everywhere!)

"I'll help clean this up. No, go sit down, I insist. Stop hovering, Sharon! Just go! What? You think you'll do a better job? Fine then, have at it!"

When she was done styling her hair, she was pleased to see that the few spots that had been shaved for her emergency surgery were not only growing, but covered by the curls. She felt almost like her old self again, back before she'd made the terrible choice of selecting a spouse through the Bureau of Civic Spousal Selections.

"I'm sorry, I promise it won't happen again."

"Sharon, I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it."

"I promise I'll get better, I will. Just no counseling, okay?"

She hoped he was okay, wherever the BCSS ended up sending him. She hoped he was getting the help his war-broken mind desperately needed. She'd never forgive him, but she couldn't wish him ill, either.

It happened. It's over. Better days are coming.

Orderly Rintrah had come by to take her out "for some much needed sunshine, since you did so well with physical therapy today" (She might have been out of the CSB for half of a year, but she knew a ruse when she saw one.) and when they came back to her floor and room, Tony was already there with the usual set-up. (Was there a usual set-up for date nights in a hospital room? Maybe she and Tony were creating the mold.)

Yes, the set-up was impressive but she was focused on the flowers sitting in the vase on the table.

He'd brought her a few simple yellow narcissus.

Her heart ached. She'd always loved narcissus. She loved the promise they brought with them as they emerged from the soil every year, a harbinger of spring and renewal. It was as if they were telling the world 'the cold and dark is only temporary - here, have some sunshine.'

"You don't like the flowers?" Tony asked, looking unsure.

"No," she said, thumbing away an unexpected tear. "No, I love them."

"Strictly speaking the deal is one flower per date but it's apparently bad luck to only give one narcissus."

"That's what I've heard," she said with a smile. "Tony, they're lovely."

"Good," he said, sounding more like his usual confident self. "They're not as lovely as you, though. Which is understandable. I can't have anything showing you up. Or showing me up, really. At this point I think we're pretty even, you know, looks-wise. Well, we're equal, I'm just more equal."

She laughed and let him help her to her chair. "We really need to work on this self-confidence deficit of yours."

"If I don't think highly of myself, who will?" He asked teasingly. "Anyways, I hope you're hungry."

"I am. Physical therapy was a lot, today. But," she added, not wanting to drag the mood down. "I got through it."

"How much longer, do you think?" Tony asked as he set two dome-covered dishes from the heating shelf of the cart on the table.

"It's hard to say," she admitted. "They say I'm making progress every day and the last estimate I had was another two weeks."

"What's their biggest concern?"

"The fatigue and vertigo. My last scans were positive but our friend the Surgeon is cautious."

"Well," Tony filled her glass and then his own with chilled sparkling grape juice and motioned for a toast. "Here's to a quick but thorough recovery."

"Cheers." She eyed the still-covered dishes. "What did you bring this time?"

He lifted the dome off her plate. "I thought we'd enjoy dining in the style of our fashionable French friends. And don't worry, I did remember what you said about snails."

"Coquilles St. Jacques!" she exclaimed. "Oh, I love these! And they cooked them in the shells, how creative!"

"So scallops are a yes, snails are a no," Tony teased before following her lead and eating one.

"Exactly," Sharon said, eyes closed in contentment as she savored the taste of potatoes, butter, white wine, Gruyère, and scallops. "These are perfect."

"They are delicious," he agreed.

Conversation was mostly light with some teasing. Tony kept looking at her as if she was the prettiest woman he'd ever seen. Even though she knew she couldn't be, given the circles he moved in, she was flattered.

The second course was the most decadent duck breast she'd ever tasted in a mushroom cognac sauce served with fondant potato coins and perfectly crisp-but-cooked asparagus. it was amazing.

"Is this your plan?" she asked teasingly. "Trap me with amazing food so that I think a life without it is meaningless?"

"I will neither confirm nor deny," Tony said. He speared a duck medallion after spooning some of the sauce on top and ate it. "Sweet lord this is good."

"It's so much better than hospital food," she agreed. "Not that I don't appreciate the cooks down in the kitchen; they do a fine job."

Tony's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You like looking out for the little guy, don't you?"

Sharon shrugged. "Growing up, I knew what it was to feel like I didn't matter. Joining the CSB gave me a purpose and I believe in the work I did, even when it wasn't easy or strictly wholesome. And then I was... I was powerless. I've saved so many lives, Tony, but I couldn't save myself. I feel like I've been given a second chance and I am so grateful to everyone who's been involved in giving me that second chance - kitchen staff included."

"This is one of the more impressive hospitals I've seen," Tony said. "Great doctors, nurses, and all kinds of staff."

"It beats being in a CSB medical facility by miles. I'm pretty sure they just re-hydrate field rations."

"So really their bar is on the ground, is what you're saying," Tony joked.

"Pretty much! And still, they brought a shovel, every time!"

"You're sad," Tony said when he'd cleared away the dishes from the main course and set up the dessert dishes - these two from the chilled shelf. "I'm not trying to pry but you have an aura about you. I haven't done anything wrong here, have I?"

She raised her brows, surprised he'd been able to pick up on it. He was much more emotionally aware than he let the public know. "No, no it's not you," she assured him. "I just found myself thinking about before."

"Well, we can enjoy our dessert," he lifted the dome off of her dish to reveal a chocolate pot de créme complete with a delicate chocolate spiral and stemmed cherry for garnish. "And then, if you want, you can talk to me about it."

Could she tell him? Would he still look at her the same way? She understood they were supposed to be getting to know each other, but this was a lot. And would he be willing to reciprocate?

"You do realize that if I bare my soul to you, you'll have to do the same?"

Tony smiled warmly and nodded. "I think I'll be good with that. I haven't scared you off yet and something tells me you actually have a spine of steel hiding behind that pretty face."

"Alright then. But dessert first."

"So, do you want to ask questions or shall I just talk?" Sharon asked.

The radio was tuned to an easy-listening station. There wasn't a Thursday evening show either of them particularly liked, so they'd settled for a simple music station they could easily filter out.

Tony pushed the food cart out into the hall and closed the door to her room before joining her by the radio. "What will make you more comfortable?"

"Preferably not talking, but I dont think that's the best option." She sighed.

It happened. It's over. Better days are coming.

"His name was Steve. He seemed perfectly fine, when we first met. He was a little shy, but handsome and very charming. He said he was looking for a simple life after the army, and I thought that maybe we could build that life together."

Tony nodded but didn't interrupt.

"The first few weeks we were married were a dream. We talked and danced and got to know each other. When we were finally ready to be intimate..." Her cheeks flushed stronger than the light rouge she wore. "It was pleasant," she said finally. "Nothing earth-shattering or soul-stirring, just pleasant."

"Please tell me you weren't-"

"A virgin?" She laughed and shook her head. "No, I definitely wasn't. Also, I was a spy, remember?"

"Okay, you were intimate, it was nothing to write home about."

"Everything was going well. And then July 4th came, and that's when it all went so wrong."

Tony had read the papers and studies on on returning service members who had difficulty with loud or sudden noises, and how that initial trigger could set off a host of other problems. It was tragic and while he'd designed sound-proof headphones and sold them to the Veteran's Bureau at cost and donated to charitable organizations meant to help them, the truth remained that many returning service members harbored a deep shame for their trauma and refused to acknowledge it or consider seeking treatment.

"The first time he was violent I was too stunned to say or do anything. It was early evening and not too hot for July. I had baked a cake for him as a surprise, because it was his birthday. We were outside when some neighbors started setting their store-bought fireworks off. One minute I was on the patio grilling burgers to a perfect medium-rare and the next I was on the ground with the breath knocked out of me and ringing in my ears. All I could do was just stare off to the side, stunned. When I could finally think I realized he was still on top of me, yelling at me to stay down. I tried to fight him off, but he was just so big and my head was pounding and he knocked my head against the ground again."

She took a deep breath. "Steve was horrified when he came to and realized what he'd done. He fell all over himself swearing to me that it would never happen again, that he'd never strike a woman or do anything like he'd just done."

She looked at Tony noticed how tight his fists were clenched and shook her head. "There's nothing you can do about it, now," she said. "He helped me up, carried me into the house, and helped clean the blood out of my hair. He brought me an ice pack and he begged me to forgive him and give him another chance. The whole episode was just so unlike him that I did."

"But it ended up being just like him," Tony said.

"Sadly, yes."

"After that it was like anything could set him off. The toaster was suspicious and I was an enemy combatant for using it or I was trying to poison him with the ragù I made." She looked away, forcing herself to think back and recall. "I had bruises just about everywhere by the second month. I felt as if I couldn't live in my own home."

She saw Tony's frown and shrugged. "It wasn't all physical," she said. "Steve had some very old-fashioned opinions. The house was too showy, the appliances - all older Stark models - were too fancy. I shouldn't insist on driving. I wasn't all soft and sweet like he thought I was, I was too independent and trying to emasculate him." She hugged herself. "I didn't know what to do other than start sleeping in the guest bedroom."

"How did he take it?"

"Lots of yelling at me to unlock the door. Lots of pleading with me to unlock the door and promises that he wouldn't do it again."

"But he always did."

"He always did," she confirmed. "I finally got to a point where I invoked my right as the Selecting Spouse to see to his medical care and we went to see the psychologist who had performed his assessment for the BCSS."

"From the very little I could glean, it didn't go well."

"It did not," Sharon said, and choked back a sob.

"Hey, you don't have to-" he stood as if to move to her and she shook her head and waved him off.

"No, I- I need to get this all out, even if it's just the once." She looked directly at him, eyes bright. "Please don't give up on me."

"Never," he said. "I promise."

"The doctor wasn't at all sympathetic. Well, at least not to me. After meeting with both of us separately and together, it was her professional, clinical opinion that I needed to be more understanding of the kind of needs and expectations a man like Steve had. I needed to stop antagonizing him and be a better selecting spouse as I helped him reintegrate back into the world. After all, it only made sense that he'd see me as suspicious and an enemy because I'd spent five years as a spy - hardly the trustworthy type."

She clenched her shut, and shook her head. "I'm ashamed to say that I tried, Tony. I really, really tried. I was up earlier than Steve, I made breakfast, I did everything I could to make him feel special, even though in my head I was screaming at myself that nothing about it was right."

She let the radio play for a few minutes as she gathered herself. Tony seemed to sense she needed the time.

"He got a little better, after that. We had some happy days and evenings, and we were even intimate once or twice." She met his gaze. "I was pregnant when Sergeant Barnes rushed me here that day. My body, in the shape that it was in, couldn't sustain it and I ended up miscarrying. I never got the chance to tell him." She hugged herself again, a habit she'd developed as a child because no one had really been concerned about soothing her.

"Anyways, we were nearing the fourth month when it happened. We were outside again. I was gardening and he was reading. I was actually feeling somewhat hopeful because it'd been a week since he'd had an episode. And then a neighbor slammed the door of his car and Steve had another one."

She cleared her throat, willing away tears. "I don't remember much after that. Just pain and Steve yelling and this dark sort of angel swooping in and making sure that Steve could never touch me again. There were all kinds of flashing lights and hushed voices and I slept for a long time."

"You haven't seen him since?"

"No. The constable, Officer Sousa, stopped by a few days after I woke up to take my statement. He tried for the day I woke up but our friend the Surgeon wouldn't let him because he wasn't sure how my cognition would be.

"He said that Steve had been taken into custody, as had the psychologist. When the BCSS was informed of what happened, they had one of their internal psychologists examine her findings and notes from Steve's file and our case. It turned out that she'd lied and approved Steve for the selection pool when he should have been denied and turned over to Veteran Services."

"And they very quietly annulled your marriage."

"They did," Sharon confirmed. "Imagine the outrage that would happen if word got out that they weren't monitoring their contracted workers and because of it, someone almost died?"

"Have you spoken with her?"

Sharon scoffed. "No. I have no desire to ever see her again. It's caused quite the scandal in our family. I've never really fit in with them and they don't understand why I can't just forgive my dear cousin for her lapse in judgment."

"You're joking!" He exclaimed, outraged.

"She works to save lives, don't you understand?" Sharon said mockingly. "I joined an agency that's dishonest and kills people, and that's just not right."

"Your family is terrible," he said flatly.

"I agree," she said. "I've told the staff here that I don't want any of them visiting. And apart from Sergeant Barnes and his wife Natalia, and Dr. Strange, you're my only visitor." She cleared her throat. "And that's the whole, sad story of the worst decision I've ever made." She considered. "It's almost up there with the time out in the field where I didn't go with my gut and ended up being held captive in Canada for almost a week before I broke out."

Tony stood up and helped her up before he hugged her - the most contact he'd initiated this far. "You are incredible, Sharon Carter," he whispered. "And you're the strongest woman I've ever met." The tenderness undid her.

"I'm not," she protested with a sob. "Tony, I should have stopped him! I could have!"

"And you'd have ended up in jail and he'd be out there free to hurt anyone else when he needs to be locked up away from the public and getting the psychiatric treatment he needs."

He pulled back and looked at her. "You survived hell," he said. "And you have nothing to be ashamed of. Well, except for maybe the whole being a Canadian captive thing, but you broke out, so you did manage some redemption there."

That startled a laugh of of Sharon and he hugged her again. "You survived and better things await."

"That's what I tell myself: It happened, it's over, better days are coming."

"See? You're agreeing with me, so clearly you're right."

There was a knock at the door. "Time's almost up, Stark!"

"Ah. Where would we be without Nurse Wong?" Tony asked no one in particular.

"I'm sorry this wasn't much of a date night," Sharon said.

"Not much of a date night?" Tony asked, looking surprised. "You got all made up, we dined on fine French food with nary a snail in sight, and you bared your soul to me. I think for a third date we did pretty good."

"This really didn't put you off?"

"No, it didn't. I'm so amazed at how strong you are and I'm so sorry that I couldn't have stopped any of it."

She breathed a sigh of relief. She was starting to fall for this man and the way they were just having pleasant evenings of conversation and dinner, maybe some music or or show on the radio. It wasn't at all what she would have expected from Tony Stark. He was surprising her and rather than be unsettled, she welcomed it. She'd tried steady and predictable and look where it had gotten her!

"It's your turn, tomorrow evening," she teased.

"Yes, it is," he agreed.

"Scared?"

He nodded. "A little," he admitted. "But you are worth it, and I think this whole thing between us that we're building is worth it."

"You know, I really think it is."

There was more knocking at the door.

Tony pulled back and kissed her hand. "Well, until tomorrow evening, I suppose."

"Until tomorrow evening," Sharon agreed. She walked him to the door. "Thank you for another lovely date."

"You're welcome." He left.

Nurse Wong waited approximately thirty seconds before he stepped in. She was just turning off the radio when he got a look at her, frowning when he saw her reddened eyes. "Did he-"

"No, he didn't do anything," she told Wong firmly. "It was just an emotional night. I promise," she added when his frown didn't lessen. "It was cathartic and I think, as crazy as it sounds, that this could really work."

His expression softened. "I'm glad that you had another pleasant evening."

"I promise you, if he or anyone here ever did something to make me upset, I would tell you. They'd be on the ground groaning in pain first, but I would tell you."

He nodded. "That's good to know," he said. "Do you need anything before I bring back your medications?"

"No, I'm just going to wash my face and brush these curls out. It will only take five minutes or so. Go ahead and take care of everyone else. I'm here long term, and they deserve the full Wong-experience."

He smiled and left.

She did just what she said she'd do. She brushed out her curls and pulled her hair back out of her face before gently cleaning the makeup away. Even with the makeup gone, she thought she looked more like her old self, before she'd left the CSB. She brushed her teeth and changed into a nightgown and robe.

After Wong brought her her nightly medication, she had no problem drifting off to a peaceful sleep.

Her last thought was that tomorrow would be a new day and better things awaited.

Across the town, in a fancy if not luxurious hotel room, Tony Stark got ready for bed. He washed his own face and brushed his teeth. He selected a clean pair of pajama pants and after finishing a glass of water rather than a couple fingers of scotch, climbed into bed, thinking back on what he'd learned.

When his mother had cried, or even when his admin Pepper cried, he never knew what to do. It always made him feel helpless and all he could think about was making it stop because it was something he knew intrinsically he couldn't fix.

Sharon crying hadn't made him feel helpless; he'd felt determination to help her however he could and to somehow do whatever it would take to ensure she never had to cry over that man or her cousin again.

He went to bed knowing he'd have to reveal more about himself than he'd revealed to anyone who wasn't Stephen or Rhodey. He wasn't as scared as he'd originally been, however.

If she could be strong, then well, so could he.

Tomorrow would be a new day and better things awaited.

--------

Author's Note (again): Yellow Narcissus - new beginnings and rebirth

Look. This whole story was supposed to be a cute little 5+1 thing. And then this chapter happened. I realized when I started writing it that everything Sharon has gone through couldn't be ignored, not if she and Tony were to actually make it work.

But, if you've read Goodbye Grey Sky, Hello Blue, you know that these two are very blissfully married.

#couldntbedamned fic #iron 13 #sharon carter x tony stark #tony stark x sharon carter #1950s modern fusion au #1950s au #tony stark #sharon carter #iron thirteen

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