#and i think it is one we are meant to agree with and find indicative of wwx’s principles i g
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#cql: episode 26#if you go back and rewatch this scene#the way wwx turns his back on jgy specifically in this moment is clearly a power move#and i think it is one we are meant to agree with and find indicative of wwx’s principles i g#but it is undercut by all the work the show has just put into showing how badly jgy is treated by his own family#despite all the hard work he has put into arranging this whole hunt and banquet#and so what this actually looks like is wwx just being the latest arrogant jerk to treat jgy like he’s not worth looking at#(he almost never looks at jgy in this scene actually)
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can i request rafe x fwb reader where reader finds out hes dating sofia and she goes to confront him that he didnt even have the decency to let her know their arrangement was over and he says "who said it was over?''
stuck in the middle - RAFE CAMERON
authors note as you guys may notice i'm finally publishing requests that you guys sent me. super sorry this was very late to publish. i hope you like what i wrote and it was what you hoped. so, thank you for sending this requests.
requests are still open so feel free to send them my way and i will get to them and put them into my docs :) if you click on the bold red ink it will take you to my ask box lovies!!!
summary you find out through people and social media sofia and rafe are together. you go to confront rafe about this since he never thought to tell you that your arrangement was over.
warnings friends with benefits, mentions of sex, cursing
Lately, you've been having this weird gut feeling in your stomach. No idea what the meaning behind it means but you want to find out what it could be. You started feeling this way whenever you were with Rafe on a random Wednesday.
Rafe and you have been friends with benefits for about three months now. When you two came to this agreement, you agreed that it was solely for your sexual pleasures and not to establish feelings for each other, and that the most important thing was to let each other know if one of you became serious with someone else so that the bargain could be broken off.
You overheard a rumor at a party this past Friday about Rafe and Sofia being together for a month. You couldn't believe your ears and wanted to vomit. Sofia works at the island's country club, and Rafe visits it from time to time.
The next day, you decided to do some research to be sure this was accurate. Even as you looked at her Instagram, the emotion returned. You checked her story highlights and discovered what you were looking for. Your stomach sank.
She had a couple pictures on her highlights that you knew were of Rafe, including one with his right hand on her thigh in his car and another with his back to her as he looks out into the distance. Based on what you discovered, they appeared serious.
What made you upset was the fact Rafe and you have been seeing each other for three months which meant he'd been with Sofia for who knows how long before he asked her to be his girlfriend.
"Why didn't he tell me?" You asked yourself, setting down your phone and running your hands through your hair, upset that you found out at random person at a party.
There's a part of you that doesn't want Rafe to be with Sofia. There's a part of you that wants him all to yourself. Regardless, he should've told you the arrangement was over.
That was the deal.
After thinking about what you should do, you decide you are confronting Rafe about this, tonight. You are gonna make it seem like you want to hookup but really you are telling him what you found out.
you- are you busy tonight? i wanna see you
rafe- funny you say that because i wanna see you too
rafe- meet me at the spot at 9pm.
"I'll be back in an hour or so," you tell your mom as you go past the living room, holding your keys. "I'm going to hang out with Samantha."
"That's fine, sweetie; please stay safe tonight, I love you," your mother adds, smiling.
When you get to the spot you see Rafe sitting in his car on his phone. You parked your car next to him so he knows it's you- when he sees you get out, he unlocks the car.
You sigh casually as you sit in the passenger seat.
Rafe says smiling "Hey pretty girl" in a tone that makes you weak in the knees, leaning over the center console to kiss you but you pull back.
"We need to have a little chat, Rafe," maintaining eye contact.
His smile fades, and he looks at you, puzzled, "What do you mean?" His response indicated that he was nervous or knew what was going to happen.
"Why didn't you tell me you and Sofia were together, Rafe? You never once said to my face, "Y/N, we can no longer meet up like this anymore because I have a girlfriend now," mimicking Rafe's voice, "we've been hooking up this entire time while you've been in this relationship that I had no idea about until I heard someone talking about it," you explain frustratedly in your voice and expressions.
In the midst of your rant towards him, he places his hand over his lips, chuckles, shakes his head, and looks down at his lap.
"Why the fuck are you laughing?" You ask, folding your arms, leaning back against the passenger door, annoyed.
He glances up from his lap, licks his bottom lip, and smirks: "Who said it was over?"
Before you could respond his lips were already on yours.
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Yours pt. 2 (Paddy x reader) (Speak No Evil)
Okay for now I'm just calling this miniseries Yours until I find a title I actually like.
Warnings: Paddy (he is a warning himself), manipulation, age gap, mentions of death, controlling relatives, lies, lots of lies, mentions of p in v sex, morning after pill, you think Paddy is being sweet but its mostly all manipulating
This story will get dark. this is your warning, this part isn't really that dark
Word Count: 3200+
Taglist (Read the rules, follow them or I will remove your response)
I woke up at some point, feeling something on the inside of my leg. When my eyes slowly opened, the room was mostly dark with just a soft glow coming from the bathroom door that was half open.
“Sorry, darling. Didn’t mean to wake you. Just wanted to get you at least semi-cleaned up.” He said from where he was sitting beside me, gently wiping away the evidence of our time together earlier in the night.
He had put on a pair of sweats, but I was still lying on top of the sheets, completely naked. A small shiver ran down my back, causing me to wrap my arms around myself.
“Here, put this on.” He said, handing me what I could only assume was one of his shirts.
“Thanks.” I said, sitting up as he finished wiping off part of my leg.
I put the shirt on, relishing in how it smelt like him, before looking over at him, “What time is it?”
“Early. You can go back to sleep.” He said.
I nodded, “Imma go to the bathroom first.” I said, turning to get up off the bed.
“Ciria’s makeup wipes are in there if you need some.” He said as I walked off, and I gave him a nod.
I went and did my business. Honestly I was surprised and quite frankly curious as to how he had managed to clean me up so well without me waking up sooner, considering how much of a mess there was between my legs when I fell asleep. However, I was too tired to question it too much. Once I was done, I washed my hands and found the makeup wipes he had mentioned. I quickly wiped off whatever wake was left on my face from both sweating at the club and jumping into the pool.
When I came back out, Paddy had moved from his spot on the bed to the chair in the corner.
“There’s something on the side table for you.” He said, nodding to the one closer to me.
On it sat a water bottle and a box of Plan B.
“I know you said you were on birth control, but better to be safe than sorry.” He said.
I nodded and grabbed the box, “No, I agree, thanks.” I said before taking it.
The sheets had been pulled back, clearly indicating that he was okay with me sleeping under them rather than on top like I had been earlier. However, he wasn’t making any moves to join me.
“Are you coming back to bed?” I asked.
“I wasn’t sure if that would be okay with you… I didn’t want to cross any boundaries.” He said with what I would’ve sworn was a nervous laugh, but Paddy didn’t seem like the type of man to ever get nervous, especially in the bedroom.
“Paddy, I am pretty fucking sure you bruised my cervix last night… I don’t think we have boundaries…” I said.
He laughed a little at my comment but still stood from his chair and came to join me on the other side of the bed. Once he was settled in, I scooted over to him and looked up at him from where my head was resting on his chest.
“I meant what I said… if you truly want me, I’m yours, Paddy.” I said.
He didn’t respond verbally. Instead, he just leaned down and kissed me gently. I responded immediately, returning the kiss before a yawn forced me to pull away. Paddy laughed to himself and smiled at me.
“Get some rest, baby.” He said gently.
We finally woke up a few hours later. Our families had plans for brunch at a cafe a few blocks away and we both needed to get up and get ready for that. Paddy got up and got dressed fairly quickly after deciding to lie to Ben and Louise, saying that I had gotten sick on my dress and needed a change of clothes to get dressed over here.
3rd person PoV
Paddy walked through the halls of the hotel until he got to the room where Yn’s aunt and uncle were staying. He knocked twice, then waited. Louise opened the door and was shocked to find Paddy there.
“Hi, Paddy… where’s Yn?” She asked, clearly worried for his niece.
“Oh, you fret far too much over her, Louise. Don’t worry, she and Ciria are back in our room. I think she was getting in the shower when I stopped by.” Paddy said.
“Stopped by?” Louise asked, confused as she leaned against the doorframe.
“Yes, when we got back, it was quite late. We didn’t want to bother you, so I let her and Cira take our room. It was a king-sized bed and the two of them seemed to really be hitting it off and didn’t seem to mind having to share. I slept on the floor in the room we got Ant.”
“He has his own room?” She asked.
“Yes, it’s across the hall. Kinda hard to enjoy certain aspects of your vacation with your kid 5 feet away from you, if you know what I mean.” He said with a laugh as Louise smiled politely, but it was clear she was uncomfortable, “Anyways… I came by to check that our brunch plans were still a go?”
Lousie looked back into the room to Ben, who just shrugged.
“Yeah, we’re just about to get ready.” She said after turning back to Paddy.
“Perfect! I also came by to get Yn’s clothes… she got a little sick on her dress. And so she asked me to come by and get her clothes for her. She wrote down what she needed on here.” He said, handing the note to her.
Lousie looked at it and was a little confused. It listed the sundress she wanted, her makeup bag, what she needed to do her makeup, the jewelry she wanted and where it was in her bag, and what shoes she wanted… but that was it. It lacked any undergarments of any kind.
“O-okay. One second…” She said, pushing the door shut.
“What’s that?” Ben asked, seeing the note in her hand.
“The clothes Yn needs… she threw up on her dress or something, so she’s going to get ready with Ciria in their room, I guess.” She said, walking past him to get to Yn’s suitcase.
She collected everything that was requested but hesitated, seeing her undergarment bag… maybe she had just forgotten to write it down. The dress she was asked for wasn’t form-fitting; it was nice and flowy, so she shouldn’t have to worry about lines if she wore underwear. After some debate, she grabbed the first pair from the bag, not wanting to invade her privacy, and folded it up into the dress. She put everything into a small bag and went back to the door to Paddy.
“Here, that’s everything she asked for… I put a few things she didn’t ask for as well, like her uh- her daily medications, purse, toothbrush, that type of stuff…I just figured she forgot to write that down.” Louse said, handing it to him.
“Thank you. I will let her know. And I will see you lot later!” He said before walking off.
He got back to his room just as Yn was getting out of the shower. He knocked on the bathroom door and handed her the bag, which she thanked him for with a small kiss.
He then went and grabbed some clothes for Ciria before walking across the hall to give them to her.
“Can’t I come back over and get ready with you?” Ciria asked as he handed her the clothes.
“No, Yn is still there. Get ready here, and get the kid ready, too. We have brunch with the Daltons.” He said.
“Why is she still there?” She pressed, a pang of jealousy laced in her voice.
Paddy didn’t reply. He just sent her a look that warned her to quit asking questions.
“Sorry, I’ll go get ready.” She said, and he nodded once in approval.
“Remember, all three of us went out last night, and you and Yn slept in the other room. You go along with anything I or Yn say. She believes we do this all the time, I told her that you wanted me to have the night with her. You go along with that. Got it?” He asked, making sure she went along with the string of lies he told Ben and Louise.
“Yes, sir.” She said before closing the door to get ready.
Yn’s PoV
Soon, everyone was ready, and we were waiting for my aunt, uncle, and cousin. To tell the truth, I was sad when Ciria and Ant joined us. It was nice pretending it was just Paddy and I, but I had to remind myself that he had a wife and kid, I was just his fun vacation side piece for now. Then, when I saw my family, it felt like even that was ripped away.
“Everyone ready?” Ciria asked, holding onto Paddy’s arm, to say I wasn’t a little jealous would be a lie.
“Yeah, I think so.” Louise said, and we all began walking to the restaurant.
“So, did you have fun last night, Yn?” Ben asked while we sat down waiting for our food.
“Yeah.” I said with a shrug.
“Still a bit tired, I bet. We had a pretty crazy night.” Paddy said, “Right girls?”
“Yes. Oh Yn was so much fun to dance with! I wish you all didn’t live so far. I would kill for girls' nights with her… and of course you, Louise.” Ciria said, much to my surprise.
“I would love that.” I said with a smile over at her.
Paddy was sat between us. Since it was a round table, there was no real way to separate the two families, not that I was complaining. His knee kept grazing mine under the table, and I was trying not to let myself wonder if it was on purpose or accident. It wasn’t until he leaned forward to tell my uncle something and his hand landed on my leg that I knew it was on purpose. I watched him as he spoke, unable to keep the smile from my face. Until a name brought my attention to my uncle.
“Me and my brother Brandon used to work together years and years ago.” Ben said.
“18 years ago.” I corrected him.
He sighed, “Yeah, 18 years ago…”
“Oh, what happened? Did you have a falling out?” Paddy asked, seemingly unaware of the tension building between my uncle and me.
“He died.” I said bluntly, “He and his wife, my mother. I was only three. They were in the car, heading to Ben’s place to meet his new girlfriend. I was staying with my grandparents. A drunk driver hit them head-on.” I said, staring at the mimosa I had ordered.
I picked it up and downed it in one go before excusing myself from the table. Ben never talked about him around me. I wasn’t sad. I was pissed. Everytime he talked about my dad it was a slap in the face that he had actually got to remember him and have memories of him, and I didn’t. And it was his fault.
I had left the restaurant and went and sat on a bench a little ways down the road. Even though Paddy was there and I wanted to spend as much time with him before our paths parted but I had zero intentions on going back to that brunch.
“Can I sit?” I heard his voice say cautiously as if speaking to an injured wild animal.
“Sure… sorry for storming off.” I said, not looking at him.
“It’s okay… Ben explained.” He said and scoffed.
“What’d he say? That I still wasn’t over the untimely death of my parents? That I was sent to live with my oh so loving godfather?” I asked sarcastically.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much it. He said he and Louise raised you, tried to get you to go to therapy to work through you feelings about what happened.” He said.
I shook my head, “I don’t need therapy, not now at least. Louise only wanted me to go because Agnes goes and she’s into all that new age parenting. But I know exactly how I feel about it, now, and I got there without a fucking therapist.”
I took a deep breath before explaining what really happened, “I was at my grandparents. Ben had invited my dad and mom to his apartment to meet the girl he had been dating, Louise. On the drive over, they got into a car accident. No one survived… it was their fault. If they weren’t going to his apartment then my parents would still be here.”
Deep down I knew I sounded crazy. But it was the only way I could rationalize their death.
“I’m sorry, darling. Come here.” He said opening his arms for me.
I hugged and he held me close.
“Then when Agnes was born, I was pretty much cast aside. Everything was about her because she’s their really daughter. And I was left to the sideline to watch her get the childhood they took away from me…I’m sorry, I know that makes me sound crazy probably…” I said when I pulled away.
“Not at all.” He said much to my surprise.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I’ve seen how they treat you now. I think they realized their fuck up and are trying to reverse it now but its too little too late to try and parent you. What’s been done is done and they can’t undo what they did to you. I’m so sorry you were treated like that.” He said.
“Thank you, Paddy. I’ve never really told anyone all of this and I was sure if I did they would think I was insane… by the way I’m not going back to that brunch. Fuck him. Feel free to go back. I’ll be fine.” I said, secretly hoping he would stay.
“Well I told them I would go find you… and I think it’s taking a lot longer to find you than I expected. Come on lets get get something to eat.” He said with a smirk.
Although I really liked that idea, part of me felt guilty about keeping him from his family.
“I can’t keep you from your family, Paddy.” I said.
“You can if I’m the one offering. Besides we only have a couple more days together. I intended to use every excuse I can to spend time with you.” He said, leaning over to kiss me.
A pang of sadness hit me suddenly at that. I knew it was the truth, but I didn’t want to think about that. I knew the likely hood of me seeing him after this vacation were slim.
“However…” He drew out the word, catching my attention, “After Ben told explained everything about what happened to you and how you all ended up moving and everything. I suggested you all come out to our farm for a bit. Give you a break from the city, get a change of scenery. I told it may do you some good, being out there with the fresh air.”
“Seriously, when?” I asked, admittedly a bit too excited.
“Whenever!” He said smiling at my enthusiasm, “I just need your help convince them to come out and see… for you to come see me.”
“I will.” I promised.
“Good, now, how about that lunch, hm?” He asked raising an eyebrow and offering me his hand. I nodded with a smile and took his hand before we stood together and he walked us further away from where everyone else was having brunch as we went off to do our own thing.
In the following days I spent as much time as I could with Paddy. Any excuse I could think of to get close to him I went with. At one point I even agreed to play chicken fight in the pool with Agnes on my shoulders while Paddy had Ant on his. But when the day came for us to leave I was overcome by sadness. Paddy made me feel seen and made me feel more alive that I’ve ever felt before. And now I was leaving that behind back to being the bane of my uncles existence.
As we came down from our room with our bags, Paddy, Ciria and Ant were all there to see us off. I smiled when I saw him and his smile grew even more when they landed on me. I had secrently kept the shirt he had let me sleep in after the night at the club and I was wearing it right now.
I waited as everyone else said bye to one another. I gave Ciria a hug telling her I hoped that we could visit soon and her and I could hang out more. I even gave Ant a small side hug telling him Agnes and I had fun playing with him and his dad in the pool. Then I got my turn with Paddy.
“Oh come here.” He said, wrapping into a tight hug just had he had done with Louise.
I hugged him back and took a long inhale of his scent knowing I wouldn’t be able to see him for awhile.
“You look great wearing my clothes… god I’m going to miss you, and your perfect cunt.” He said quietly so no one else would hear.
I sighed, “I’m going to miss you too… don’t forget, I’m yours.” I whispered back, before pulling away.
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead, which didn’t seem too suspicious considering he gave Lousie a small peck on the cheek as well.
“Here, let me help.” Paddy said grabbing my bag along with Agnes’s before following Ben and Louise out to the car.
We got loaded up and drove away as I sat in silence in the back seat. My only hope was that I could convince my aunt and uncle to actually go out to the farm so I could see him again.
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@dreamygirli3 @comicbookslut @dianaxx99 @one-of-thewalkingdead @moist-for-xavier @myartistrash02 @fairy-cores-world d @mayamidge
#paddy x reader smut#paddy x reader#paddy#paddy speak no evil#speak no evil movie#speak no evil#speak no evil paddy#james mcavoy x reader#james mcavoy smut#james mcavoy#james mcavoy x reader smut#speak no evil 2024
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looking through your eyes + fifteen
authors note: next chapter will be a lot heavier, because we see shit play out. italicized dialogue indicates that spanish is being spoken.
ya'll better not come for me after this one either, okay! 😭
just know the plot is plotting, ya'll
if any cw/tw’s are missed, please let me know, and i will add them!
cw/tw: fluff, angst, roman being a dick to anyone other than his wife, and violence
song inspo: ‘looking through your eyes’ by leann rimes
masterlist
words: 10k
The newly opened doors of intimacy have awakened a previously dormant part of Solana.
Something she previously thought impossible to access, permanently damaged as a result of her trauma.
But, she was wrong.
So, so wrong.
Roman is everything she never allowed herself to dream about having, let alone actually hoped to have in real life.
Caring, considerate, gentle, patient.
Their first time together is something she’ll never forget and always cherish. But, it’s the times afterwards, sporadic over the past two days since the consummation, that have almost meant something more.
A testament to her comfort and trust in him.
Of her love for him.
Sitting in bed, in between his legs, leaning into his strong body with nothing but the thin 600 thread count sheets covering them, Solana sketches, no particular drawing in mind, just whatever is felt in that moment. And what’s felt is the image and scenery of the water, of the beauty that is Isla Mujeres. Her mom was right. There’s nothing like it.
“I think—I think I want to come back here sooner rather than later.” Solana finds herself partially wondering aloud but also wanting to pick her husband’s brain. “I know you probably won’t be able to come, and that’s okay. Maybe…maybe Bayley can come with me?” It’s both a suggestion and a question.
Roman makes a sound against her, his lips lingering along her temple, long fingers moving gently against the side of her breast under the sheets. “Whatever you want, I’ll make happen. Bayley will go with you.”
Solana chews on her bottom lip, shading a palm tree. “But, what if she has plans?”
“She will. Plans to go with you.”
A small smile falls on her face. “How do you know she’ll just agree with you?” Solana has an idea of what he’s going to say, and she’s correct.
“People do what I tell them to do, and if they don’t, they face the consequences. And no one wants that, so they just do it.”
She doesn’t doubt that one bit. Because no matter how sweet and caring he is to her, that’s where it stops. With her.
Because to anyone and everyone else, he’s Roman Reigns, ruthless, brutal leader of the Bloodline.
And she’s accepted that. Accepted that he has to juggle two different hats.
She’s just happy she gets the best of him.
“I Facetime’d Naomi today and got to see Dulce.” As much fun as she’s having, as healing as this trip has been for her, she misses her sweet puppy deeply. ��Guess who’s taken to her?”
Roman chuckles, looking back with a bit of shock. “Jimmy?”
Solana nods, grinning as she remembers overhearing Jimmy ask about where ‘fluff fluff’ is. “Naomi says he’s even got her sleeping in the bed with them.”
“Well, she damn sure ain’t doing that with us.” His voice takes on an authoritative tone. Not that she’s in disagreement. Dulce is too small for that. Roman would literally smother her. “Our bed is occupied.” He ghosts his lips over the shell of her earlobe. “Gonna be real busy when we get back home….”
Solana tries instead to focus on the drawing at hand versus that familiar feeling pooling in her stomach.
Continuing with the topic in the hopes of settling that feeling, she shares, “I want to do something nice for Naomi and Bayley when we get back. They’ve—they’ve been so nice to me.”
It’s something she’s been thinking about ever since the beautiful birthday messages she’s received. Having never really had many friends, to be able to land such solid, loyal people like them is something she doesn’t take lightly. She doesn’t know quite yet how she wants to show her appreciation, but she’s determined to come up with something.
An idea crossing her mind, Solana suggests, “maybe they both can come stay here with me for a week?”
His mouth moves back to the side of her face. “Mmmhmm.”
“Like…..like a girls trip.” Solana has never experienced one of those and just the thought of having one with the two of them has pre-excitement already forming.
Roman sighs, clearly distracted by his lips exploring her face. “Whatever you want, baby.”
Turning her head to the side to look up at him, small smile on her face, Solana asks, “are you listening to me?”
Roman hums against her skin. “I’m always listening to you, Solana.” Her eyes flutter as his fingers shift and move under the generous swell of her breast. “Probably the only person that’s the case for…..” His mouth moves to her cheek. “But, it’s hard to focus with you naked like this…..”
The pencil in her hand naturally drops against the sketchbook, her head lolling backwards, lips pressing together. “Roman….”
This is such a new experience. She’s never desired to be touched or craved such intimacy until Roman. Even with her trauma, there’s a pull that seems to have been unleashed with the consummation of her marriage.
An urge that has her thighs pressing together, something Roman most definitely takes note of. Eyes darkening with lust and something else, he asks, voice almost hoarse, “are you sore?”
She is, but not nearly as sore as she was after their first time. And certainly not to the point where she wants to decline.
“No,” is the answer she settles on, Roman’s lips on hers in a matter of seconds. She shifts her body so she’s straddling him, the feeling of him hard and warm between her legs making her moan in his mouth. Roman easily switches positions so she’s on her back, him hovering over her.
He breaks the kiss, asking once more, “you sure?”
Solana licks her lips, forever thankful for his constant efforts to receive her consent. “Yes.”
His eyes burn with need. “Could be inside you like this all day….” He brings his hand to the back of her thigh, lifting her leg and opening her up more as he gradually descends into her slick warmth. “And definitely all night….”
Solana would be lying if she said she didn’t feel somewhat of the same way.
________
She wakes up with a growing familiar ache between her legs, soft sheets against her nude body, and her husband pressed against her, his arm draped over her, holding her close to him.
But, he’s not sleeping. She can feel his mouth hovering over her shoulder. Her smile grows a bit as she thinks about their last lovemaking session, so passionate and fulfilling. Another round of him giving her pleasure she didn’t think possible.
However, it’s when she glances at the clock and sees the time, her eyes widen a bit from the shock. “Roman, it’s almost 2 o’clock….”
He’s never been more uninterested. “And?” Lips traveling the length of her arm, he murmurs against her smooth skin. “You’d never leave this bed if it was up to me….”
His statement, half joking, half serious, makes her smile, but it also helps her realize she has to be a bit more outspoken about what she wants.
Holding the sheet against her chest, she rolls onto her back, informing, “I want to go out to the marketplace today.”
He scowls. “Around people?”
“Yes, people.” She giggles, moving her hand to his face, beard tickling her palm. “We only have two more days here. I want to bring back gifts for Naomi, Bayley, and your cousins”
It’s the mention of the twins that makes him roll his eyes as he falls back into the mattress. “You always trying to take care of the homeless.”
Solana giggles, hovering over him, hand on his chest. “That’s so mean, Roman. They’re not homeless.”
“Then why the hell are they always at our house?”
She shakes her head, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “I’m gonna go get ready.”
He doesn’t try to stop her, doesn’t prevent her from leaving the bed and doing just that.
And in less than two hours, both showered, fed, and dressed, they’re out of the house and on their way to the market.
Adolfo López Mateos is the municipal market and offers a trove of items for Solana to pick from. Countless authentic options for her to bring back home as gifts but also as souvenirs for herself, reminders of this wonderful place that will forever hold such beautiful memories for her.
A place that also leaves her feeling so connected to her maternal side.
To her mother.
Roman serves as the quiet, always surveying husband who remains by her side the whole time as she goes from stall to stall. He serves as her personal shopping assistant as well, holding the growing number of bags for her purchases.
But, he handles it exceptionally well, never once complaining. Granted, she is mindful of the fact that the crowded market and all of the fellow shoppers and merchants seem to well exceed his tolerance for people in general.
So, she does make note to try to wrap it up sooner rather than later.
She’d never want to take advantage of his kindness and generosity.
Solana is at a stall looking at fabric when stiffening beside her drags her attention to her husband as well as what’s caused him to tense.
A child.
A little girl. Around 8 or 9. She has dark hair that’s down and unruly, the light breeze in the market causing it to splash against her tanned face, hazel eyes landed directly on Roman. Her hand is outreached, a flower in hand.
Solana recognizes it rather quickly. She steps forward, asking in Spanish, “is that for him?”
The little girl looks over and nods, directing her gaze back on Roman. Solana does the same, small smile on her face as she informs. “She’s giving it to you.”
His expression is unchanged as he asks. “Why?”
Solana giggles. “It’s an Alstroemeria. They represent friendship.”
“This random ass kid wants to be my friend?”
Solana rolls her eyes. “She’s being friendly.” Seeing Roman has no intentions on further acknowledging this child, she gently shoves him. “Please?” The ‘for me?’ doesn’t need to be asked as Roman sighs loudly and accepts the flower followed up with a muttered ‘thanks.’
Pleased, the little girl beams, suddenly motioning both Roman and Solana to follow her.
Curious, Solana asks, “you want us to come?”
She nods excitedly, pointing a few stalls down to where flowers bloom. Solana asks, “That’s where you got these from? You want us to see the rest?”
Another nod, and Solana finds herself following the child, Roman begrudgingly on the heel of her, committed to his not allowing her to explore a stretch of land or sea on this trip without him being right there next to her.
Even if it means forced socialization.
Solana allows the child to guide them to the stall that’s filled with the most beautiful, intricate flowers she’s ever seen, some of which she recognizes from conversations with her mom.
“Look how beautiful…..” Her eyes land on the powder pink ones, a brief realization setting in as she asks the little girl, “are these sword lily’s?”
Again, the child offers only a nonverbal acknowledgement via a head nod, and Solana starts to wonder if her silence is by choice or limitation. Either one, she can kind of relate to.
Turning to Roman, Solana explains to him, “these are sword lilly’s. They represent sympathy and memories.” Memories…Solana has plenty of those. The good, to some extent, starting to outweigh the bad.
He looks more uninterested than the actual tone of his voice. “Do all Mexican flowers have some sort of meaning?”
“Some. Not all.” She answers, fingers gliding over the petals. “And it’s not always flowers native to Mexico, just flowers that we have meaning attributions for. Culturally.”
“You are correct.” A voice enters the conversation, Solana watching a woman step out back from behind the stall. Her hair is a deep onyx, thick and wavy, her skin lightly kissed by the sun that also highlights the beauty of her eyes. Fine lines give away that she has some years under her belt, but it’s hard to tell just how many. She switches languages, “You don’t speak Spanish like a tourist.”
Solana realizes she must have overheard her asking the girls about the flowers. “My—my mother was a Native.”
“She taught you well.” Her smile grows, warm and friendly, familiar in a weird sort of way. “What is your name, child?”
“Solana.” She gestures towards Roman who’s still looking just as uninterested as he’s been in any other type of social interaction outside of Solana. “This is my husband, Roman.”
“I figured.” She motions to Roman’s closeness to her, the way he stays almost hovering, protecting and caring but still pretty close. “He’s very protective of you.
Solana nods. She has no idea. “What is your name?”
“Paloma,” she introduces, removing one of her work gloves to shake Solana’s hand. The younger woman is slightly grateful that Paloma doesn’t try to greet Roman in the same manner. She’d surely get her feelings hurt. “What brings you here?
Again, a gesture to Roman with her thumb. “He surprised me for my birthday.”
Paloma makes a sound and smiles wryly. “Ahh, so it’s only others he’s unfriendly with.”
“He….he’s very quiet.” An ironic choice of words considering just who is saying them, but it’s the best word to come to mind to describe Roman without being mean. He is technically quiet, but the fact that it’s because he, in his own words, hates people isn’t necessarily something that needs to be shared. “Do you really grow all of these?”
“I do.” The proud smile on her face makes Solana smile just as warmly. “I own a nursery about twenty minutes out of here. A family business that my mother and her mother and her mother started generations ago.”
“That’s so beautiful.”
“It was….” The use of past tense causes Solana’s smile to dim a bit. She can sense there’s a story there, a story that no doubt holds some level of pain. Paloma shakes her head, gesturing to the flowers. “Were you wanting to buy any?”
“Uhhhh….” The technical answer is no. Solana would have probably stopped to admire the beautiful flowers, maybe tried to identify one or two, but it would not have gone beyond that. It’s the little girl who Solana realizes is behind the stand, poorly sneaking glances at Roman, who called them over. “Yes, I—”
“She brought you over, didn’t she?”
“Yes.” Solana lowers her voice, asking as gently as she can. “Does she speak?”
“Yes, but she prefers not to. Very shy. Parents fight a lot. I don’t think she really gets a lot of space to talk.” And the frown is back. Solana can definitely understand that. “Do you two have plans tonight?”
“Uhhhh.” Solana turns to Roman, asking, “did you have anything else planned for us this evening?”
“If she’s trying to get us to do something around other people, yes. I’ll find something.”
Solana rolls her eyes, lightly scolding in her soft voice, “Roman, that’s not nice.”
“Solana, I’m pretty sure we had this conversation already. I don’t like people. I hate people. You’re the only one I like.”
Solana decides to win him over later versus now as she turns to Paloma with a friendly expression that contrasts her husband’s scowl. Something tells her he already knows she’s about to sign them up for something that forces him to be around people.
“We’re free this evening. Why do you ask?”
________
“Tell me again why we’re meeting this random ass old woman for dinner?”
Solana is only seconds away from applying her lip gloss when Roman’s question deters her from her task, creating a new one in its place. Capping it, she walks out the bathroom, leaning against the doorway. “Her name is Paloma, and she’s really sweet, and she invited us.”
Turns out, Paloma owns one of the restaurants in town Solana remembers stumbling across when she was perusing other places to visit while on their trip. It’s just a crazy coincidence that Solana ended up running into her and receiving a personal invite to dine there for dinner this evening.
And it’s an offer she didn’t want to turn down.
“Are you sure she didn’t just invite you?”
Curious, she asks the question she’s almost certain she already knows the answer to. “Would you let me go by myself?”
“Hell no.”
“Exactly.” Walking over to Roman, Solana glides her hands up his chest, locking them behind his neck. “It’s just a dinner. We won’t even be there that long. Then…tomorrow, it’s just the two of us.”
“It could be the two of us tonight too….”
His fingers dance across the small of her back as she bites back a smile. “Roman, it’s been the two of us this entire trip already, basically….”
“You know I could never get enough of you…” He gently squeezes the sides of her stomach, sliding into reluctant acquiescence. “But, you know I can’t say no to you either so….”
She smiles and leans up and presses a kiss against his cheek, murmuring, “thank you.” Taking a bit of a mile with the inch she’s been given, she implores, “can you….try to be a little more friendly? For me?”
Roman looks at her like she just asked him to let her go alone. “Solana….”
“Just for tonight.”
“Do they even speak English?” She gives him a look that’s just another form of ‘for me?’ He tilts his head back and scratches his beard. “I’ll try not to maim or kill anybody. That’s the best you’re getting from me, baby.”
“Thank you.” She kisses him again, turning for the bathroom when he pulls her back to face him, and right away, she recognizes that look. “Roman….”
He ignores her, both casually and suggestively complimenting, “I like this dress.” It’s combined with him slowly moving one of the hands on her waist down the length of her dress until he can slip his hand underneath.
“T–thank you…” She swallows, struggling to stay focused. “We’re—we’re gonna be late.”
“Too bad.” He moves his hand between her legs, gradually sliding up her thighs. “Should have thought about that before you put this on.” He kisses her temple, asking in a low voice, “do you want me to stop?” At the same time, his hand pauses on her skin.
The logical answer is yes, but the carnal answer is the complete opposite. And desire seems to overpower logic in this round. “N–no.”
It’s the perfect answer for her husband whose full lips form into a smirk as he removes his hand to guide her towards the bed as he lays her on her back. Solana half expects him to move on top of her, but he instead moves to his knees and tugs her toward the edge of the bed.
The anticipation of what pleasure is to come makes her lick her lips, prematurely moaning his name, “Roman…”
His brown eyes flick up to her, desire and lust dancing away in his irises.
Yeah, they’re most definitely going to be late.
________
The night goes as expected, Solana enjoying herself, and Roman enjoying that his wife is enjoying herself despite the fact that being surrounded by a bunch of fucking strangers who speak mostly in Spanish has him subtly checking the time on his watch more often than not.
The desire to pick up the language grows exponentially. Roman dislikes being out of the loop in any sort of capacity.
Solana translates for the most part, granted it’s mostly things he doesn’t really care too much about. Paloma asking what he thought about the food, requests to join in the dancing—that’s a hell no—and other pleasantries that violate his religion of Anti-Peopleology.
Except his wife, of course.
And to be fair, they’re able to share their dinner together without many interruptions, conversation staying between the two of them, which he appreciates. He’d appreciate it more if no one was there to interrupt, but alas, Solana having a smile on her face almost the whole night makes it all worth it.
She seems exceptionally taken with the little random ass girl from the market whose name he doesn’t bother to remember. Something with an A, he’d guess. She also seems just as interested in Solana, which he doesn’t entirely not understand. She’s relatively mute with the exception of a couple of words and sentences.
It reminds him of Solana and how nonverbal she was at the beginning of the marriage. And something tells him the girl also reminds her of herself. Which makes the pull between the two make more sense than maybe he’d like to admit.
But, his inner dialogue is interrupted as the old lady approaches the table where he sits alone as Solana dances with the child, both of them smiling and laughing.
“You’re not the social one of the two of you, are you?” She asks what he considers both a stupid and ironic question. Typically, Solana isn’t this social either. But this….this place….it seems to bring out a different side of her.
A happier side of her.
Roman only casts the old woman a bored glance. “This is her world. Not mine.”
The woman chuckles, and to Roman’s chagrin, sits down in the chair opposite of him. “Yes, I suppose this is very different from the Bloodline.”
Her statement doesn’t surprise him, doesn’t take him off guard, and that’s because Roman isn’t stupid. He would never allow some practical stranger to invite his wife for dinner at a restaurant she owns without researching her.
Paloma Aguilar. 70. Widowed. One child who seemingly disappeared without a trace over twenty years ago. Her late husband, Ricardo, was a man who at one point entered the world of the cartel and smuggling, but it was short lived as he passed away from a heart attack at the age of 45. His brother, however, Tomas, is still actively involved, but Paloma couldn’t be farther removed.
From his research, Roman could see she truly prefers to live her life away from the in-laws business, preferring her restaurant and gardening, the polar opposite of the high-paced crime life.
But, it would be ludicrous for her to not be aware of him and who he is, regardless of her preference to stay separate from that life.
Curious, though he already knows the answer, he asks, “when did you realize who I was?”
She smiles, “soon enough.” The lack of specificity annoys him even more than he already is. “Probably around the time you found out who I am.”
Interested to see how she’ll respond, he asks, “and just who are you?”
Her smile is small and sad. “Just an old woman living out the rest of her days in solitude.” Roman has experienced enough loss to be able to recognize when someone else has also had the misfortune of losing someone. It’s evident in her tone.
Still, that doesn't diminish his disinterest in this conversation.
She also looks over at his dancing wife, casually commenting, “I suppose it’s true that opposites attract.”
Eager to stir this woman away, Roman responds with all the casualness. “I’m not Solana. You could be 90, and I’d still snap your fucking neck if you presented any kind of threat to my wife.”
It’s uncalled for. He knows this. A misplaced threat against an elderly woman, sure. But, it’ll hopefully be enough to get her to leave him the fuck alone.
She smiles, partially surprising him. “Oh, I don’t doubt it, young man.” Her grin dims a bit. “I would never judge a man for protecting the woman he loves.”
Roman tenses, effectively managing to keep his reaction to her statement to himself.
Love
What the fuck is that even?
He knows…..familial love. But….romantic love?
That’s….that’s such an unfamiliar concept. Something not even in his repertoire.
He can’t deny that he likes Solana. A lot. Cares for her deeply, and recognizes that he needs her in his life. Needs her light in what is otherwise dark and dreary.
But…..
To say that he loves her….that’s too much. That’s too strong.
Too dangerous.
Love is weakness.
And Roman can’t afford to be weak. He won’t. Not for anything or anyone.
Not even Solana.
But, of course, this old ass woman just has to twist the knife even deeper as she stands up to leave. “You two will make great parents.” Roman is an expert at hiding reactions to what’s being said to him, but this one takes some effort. A lot, if he’s being honest. “Your protectiveness. Her nurturance.”
With that, she finally leaves him be, but not without a million and one thoughts floating through his mind, all of them now revolving around two things he’s never considered for himself.
Love and children.
________
As the night comes to an end, Solana pulls Aurora, the sweet little girl who’s taken a liking to her and a crush on Roman, to the side.
“I have something for you.”
Aurora’s eyes light up with all the excitement of a child eager to receive an unexpected present.
Solana hands over the beautiful journal she picked up in the market earlier that day. Originally a gift for herself, but now something that she wants to pass on to the little girl who reminds her so much of herself.
Aurora’s mouth drops open with surprise as she accepts the leather journal. Solana smiles and explains, “When I was a little girl, I didn’t talk a lot either. But, my mom always told me that when I couldn’t speak, I could always write.” She frowns a bit, instructing. “And that’s what I did. I wrote until I found my voice. The same way you can.”
Aurora looks up with teary eyes and surprises Solana by attacking her with a big hug. Solana easily settles in the embrace, holding and hugging the little girl in a way that every child should be comforted.
Aurora pulls back and offers a simple, “thank you!”
Solana blinks back some tears. “You’re very welcome.” Her smile shifts into something teasing but also hopeful, “now I expect to see you when I come back to visit, okay?”
Aurora nods happily as she gives Solana one more hug before running over to an older woman who Solana would guess is her mother.
“She’ll never forget that, you know.”
Turning to the source of the voice, Solana’s smile grows. “I hope not.”
Paoma chuckles and moves closer, repeating the same words. “I have something for you too.”
She pulls out a cloth jewelry bag and takes Solana’s hand, placing the bag in it. “Open it.”
Confused but curious, Solana does just that and gasps almost immediately at the beautiful gold necklace she recognizes instantly. “A Cruz de Caravaca.”
Paloma looks pleased by Solana’s knowledge and asks a follow up question. “How much do you know about these?”
Swallowing the emotion, she recalls the information taught to her so long ago. “They—they ward off evil and bring protection.” There’s an almost bitter tone that enters her voice. “My mother had one….” It’s the most Solana can bring herself to say, because her mother wore one almost religiously. And it did nothing to protect her from the evil of her father.
Or the knife that viciously tore and sliced through her body, violently ending her life.
Paloma nods, complementing, “whoever taught you our ways taught you well.”
Emotion burning the back of the throat, “it was my mom. She—she died when I was young.” Murdered. She was murdered, but acknowledging that feels too much, is too much. Regardless of how her life ended, it all means the same.
That she’s not here anymore.
Paloma’s expression is solemn as she lifts her right arm, turning it inward, revealing her tattoos. Two Hummingbirds. “Many years ago, I lost my daughter. And shortly after, my husband. I—I didn’t really know how to go on after that. She was my only child, and he was the only man I ever loved.” Her smile is emotional. “But then I remember that love never dies, it transcends into another form. They’re not here in the way I want them to be, but they’re still here. And every so often when I’m in my garden, I see Hummingbirds, and I feel better because I know they’re still with me. Watching over me.”
Solana wipes at her eyes as Paloma places a comforting hand on her arm. “And so is your mother.”
It’s hard to verbalize what she’s feeling in this moment. Paloma’s words provide her with a type of comfort that feels almost motherly, an ironic feeling considering the nature of the conversation.
“Thank you.” It’s such a simple thing that doesn’t feel strong enough for how much Solana appreciates such comforting words of support.
“You have a good heart. A kind soul. But, be careful child.” She takes Solana’s hands in her own. “My….my daughter was like you. Loving and giving. But too trusting, and it cost her her life. Betrayal and darkness can come from where you least expect it.”
Paloma’s words confuse her. The warning aspect of it. What…what exactly does that mean?
“Stick with that husband of yours….” Paloma adds, smile gradually returning. “He is protective of you the way my husband used to be with me.”
That ebbs away some of her confusion regarding the ominous warning, as Solana suddenly asks, almost tentatively. “Could I….could I come back and see you too?”
Paloma chuckles, and Solana almost swears she sees emotion brewing behind the woman’s wise gaze as she pulls her in for a hug.
“I’d be offended if you didn’t, child….”
________
He’s not entirely surprised to find her in the kitchen, but that doesn’t necessarily make her presence in the kitchen any less concerning. Especially when she’s supposed to be on bedrest.
Roman comes up behind her, smiling when she jumps a bit as he hugs her. Years later, some things remain the same.
Solana turns around, a warm smile on her pretty face. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.” Not necessarily. He’s not sure he’ll ever be able to find it in him to be sorry for touching his wife.“Hi.”
“Hi.” She giggles as he kisses her.
Eyes shutting a bit as he relishes in the feeling he’s craved dearly for the past few weeks. “I missed you all.”
“We missed you too,” she murmurs, moving her hands up his chest. “You look tired.”
He’s a bit jet lagged, but it’s nothing he won’t bounce back from in a couple of days. That’s the least of his concern, anyway. Roman moves his hand to her stomach, big and swollen, pressing against his abs. “You should be resting.”
Solana rolls her eyes and calmly counters, “not with how active this one is.” She moves his hand around, probably trying to find a spot where he can feel the movement. “He’s definitely your son.”
He counters, “even more reason to be resting.”
She shakes her head, changing the subject a bit as she softly shares, “they’ll be happy to see you. I didn’t tell them you were coming home early.”
His eyes light up a bit as he asks, “where are they?”
Solana chuckles. “You already know.”
Roman makes a sound and nods, murmuring with a final kiss to her temple, “I’ll be back.”
He walks out of the kitchen and into the hall, moving to the back of the house.
Two separate rooms, directly across from one another, each providing a variety of different activities and spaces. Most completely opposite one another. Expected, given their staunchly different personalities.
There’s no active decision regarding which room he walks in first, no specific desire to see or interact with one over the other. He just so happens to venture left vs right.
And sure enough, as predicted, she sits at the table, so small but perfect for her. She’s focused on the paper in front of her and crayon in her hand. So focused to the point where she misses his entrance, doesn’t overhear his footsteps until he’s only a few feet away from her.
But when she does, big brown eyes landing on him, eyes that are exact replicas of her mothers, the crayon is dropped and the smile is out. She jumps up from the seat and runs over to him, Roman leaning down just in time to catch her hug, an instant ease washing over him, deeper than what’s allotted even with his wife.
This is something different, something deeper, something he still doesn’t quite know or believe he deserves to feel. But nevertheless, it’s present, it’s felt, and it’s wonderful.
When she pulls away, he finds himself pushing back some of her curls, light and fluffy, framing her face that’s the perfect combination of himself and Solana. “I missed you…” Her smile grows as he asks, eyes narrowed a bit. “Were you a good girl for your mom while I was gone?” She nods excitedly and reaches for his hand, Roman standing as she guides him over to the table where she was drawing. Roman crouches back down as she shares her artwork, an in-progress photo of the ocean, most likely scenery she’s memorized from one of their many trips to Isla Mujeres. “Is this what you’re working on?” Again, another nod as she points between the drawing and him. He points to himself. “Is this gonna be for me?”
Instead of the expected no, she answers in her voice, so soft and light. “I’m sorry it wasn’t done in time….”
A small smile grows on his face. She’s very much unlike her sister, of very few words. So much so that Roman insisted he and Solana discuss her quietness with the pediatrician to make sure nothing was wrong. And of course, nothing was. It’s just that she inherited quite literally Solana’s entire disposition. Quiet with a great big heart that seems too pure for this world.
And, unfortunately, a tendency to apologize when unnecessary.
“It’s perfect, sweetheart.” His praise seems to bring back her smile as he kisses her forehead. “Fa'afetai tele.”
She matches his smile, surprising him yet again with more spoken words vs non verbals. “E le afaina.”
Standing back up, he informs, “I’m gonna go see your sister. Can you go help mom finish cooking dinner?” He knows Solana is almost done, if not already, but Roman also knows that personality and disposition weren’t the only things inherited. So were passions and interests, hence the drawing.
And cooking, judging by the way her eyes light up as she dashes out the room to play assistant.
Roman chuckles and walks out, hitting the switch as he moves across the hall, once again unsurprised by what he finds. She’s going at it with the freestanding punching bag, kicks that are pretty impressive considering her age. Her face is scrunched up in determination, the same face as her sisters yet so different.
Where one is soft and quiet, the other is loud and bold. One is timid, the other adventurous. One is Solana, but this one….she’s her father’s daughter, through and through. Bold and fearless.
“Don’t forget to point your toes.”
His deep voice breaks through her concentration as she whips her head to the side, a reaction similar to her twin sister. A huge smile breaks through that impressive focus.
“Daddy!”
Again, he moves to one knee to catch her for a hug, tight and heartwarming. She pulls back almost immediately, asking with all the excitement. “Did you see me?”
“I sure did.” He comments on what’s more than obvious. “you’ve been practicing.”
She nods with just as much excitement. “Aunt Bayley and Aunt Naomi said I’m really good!”
“You are.” He wouldn’t lie to her. She is. But, he also knows it’s because this is her passion. Where her sister finds joy in art and books, she gets that joy from movement, from fighting, her gravitation towards martial arts happening at such a young age.
“I’m gonna be better than you!” He chuckles. At not even a fraction of his age, she already is. And it has nothing to do with her natural fighting abilities.
“We’ll see.”
“I am!” She affirms, so determined and focused. “I’m gonna wear the ula fala and be Tribal Chief just like you, daddy!”
Roman does his best to keep that small ounce of concern hidden and tucked away. Young. She’s too young to know just what she’s asking for, the weight that comes with what he does, the truth about what and who he is.
It’s been the decision of both himself and Solana to shield the girls from it. The truth of it all. For now. As long as they can, at least. But the girls aren’t dumb either, they know he holds a high rank, one of the highest, in his family.
And his spitfire of a daughter seems determined to do the exact same.
“Cousin Jamar was saying I can’t cause I’m a girl, but I told him he’s just a stupid boy and I’m way smarter anyway.”
Roman’s eyes narrow slightly as asks the question he already knows the answer to. “And you hit him too, didn’t you?”
Even when he has to be away from home, Solana makes sure to keep him informed of all happenings with the girls, especially this one who’s already gotten in trouble a couple of times at school for her mouth.
And fist.
Her eyes drop as she pouts slightly, murmuring, “he made me mad….” His temper. She definitely has inherited that too. “No one talks about me, you, mommy, sissy or my new baby brother, or I’ll punch them in their face.”
This is the part where Roman struggles, where he tries his best to tap into that part of him that feels so unfamiliar. Because his initial response is that she did nothing wrong, that she’s doing exactly what she’s entitled to.
Protecting her family and standing up for what she believes is right.
“It’s important to know when to fight, and it’s a lot harder not to sometimes.” That’s the best he can come up with in the moment to not necessarily let her know he doesn’t see much of an issue with her behavior. “I’ll teach you.”
Her eyes light up with excitement. “I get to train with you?” A request she’s had for at least the past two years, Roman pushing it off and allowing Bayley and Naomi to help her because his level of training is far too intense for her young age.
But
That doesn’t mean he can’t modify his approach a bit.
“Yes!” She jumps up and down, hugging him, another small smile on Roman’s face. Some kids like to play dolls, like his other daughter, but this one….this one lives for a good fight.
And speaking of, the calmer of the two of them coming running into the room, Roman turning just in time as she smiles and tugs on his shirt, motioning for them to follow her.
“Is dinner ready?” Learning to understand her even with the absence of speech has come second nature for all of them.
She nods, as the other one breaks the hug with Roman, asking her twin with all the excitement and competitiveness. “Wanna race?”
Roman already knows the answer, watching as his more quiet child is suddenly waiting for her sister to count them off. Seconds later, the two of them rush out the room on a trajectory that’ll lead to Solana who will no doubt chastise them for running in the house.
But they come back, giggling together as they stand in the doorway, hitting him with both a question and a demand.
“Daddy, are you coming?”
“Daddy, wake up!”
Roman shoots up from the bed, hulking shoulders moving up and down in sync with his heavy breathing. Movement to the side of him shows him Solana shifting in her sleep, a peaceful expression on his face.
It’s the exact opposite of how he feels.
Moving his hand through his silky, wavy locks, Roman takes the blanket off of him and carefully moves out the bed, prioritizing not disturbing his wife.
He blows out a breath and walks out the double doors that bring him to the patio, his big body settling down on one of the chaise lounges.
It’s only then he asks himself the burning question at the back of his mind.
What the fuck was that?
Roman doesn’t really dream a lot, and when he does, they’re more along the lines or nightmares.
Night terrors when he was younger.
But this……he doesn’t even know what the fuck that was.
Children.
Roman has never really seen himself as a father, never allowed himself to think about it because it’s never really been a desire. He’s always known that he would have to create an heir to carry on his legacy, but that’s a thing of duty. Not desire.
So why the fuck is he dreaming about having not one but several children with Solana?
Solana….
Her oath a few weeks back of giving him an heir returns to the front of his mind. It makes him wonder all of sudden what her view on children is. Does she want children? Without inside knowledge of her trauma, one would think that’s an obvious thing. She would have never married him, never agreed to the arrangement when the sole purpose of the union was to create a child if she didn’t, in fact, want a child.
But, Roman knows her, knows her trauma. Knows that she was forced into this.
Which makes him incapable of shooting down the possibility that maybe she doesn’t even want children?
And then he thinks about her tonight, thinks about the permanent smile on her face as she interacted with that little girl, the way she interacted with several of the children present who came up to her.
She looked….she looked happy.
Content.
And of course, the now haunting words of the old woman who Solana also seems to have heavily gravitated towards:
“You two will make great parents.”
Thinking about and being completely honest with himself, he sees it for Solana. Could….could see her as a mother.
But seeing himself as a father….that’s something he can’t answer. Can’t understand, really.
The same way he can’t understand why there’s a small part of him that’s upset he woke up.
Upset that the dream didn’t last just a little bit longer.
Upset that he’s now thinking heavily about what the old lady predicted.
Himself and Solana as parents.
Fuck.
First the love comment, now this?
Damn that old woman.
________
Something is off with Roman.
Solana has noticed it ever since the night of the dinner at Paloma’s restaurant. She figured it was maybe because Roman really can only withstand so much social interaction. Chalked it up to him needing the night to sleep it off.
But, it was there the next day and the day after that and even as their trip in Isla Mujeres came to an end.
On the jet ride back home, he’s quiet, working diligently on his work laptop. She tries her best not to think too much of it, because it’s not like he’s ignoring her. He still talks to her, still interacts with her, still touches her, but it’s just….off.
There’s like this….this distance that she can’t understand.
A distance that hurts.
It’s why she stands in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to not get too into her head over her dress. It’s probably the most risqué thing she’s ever worn, more skin showing than she would prefer to be exposed. But, a small part of her hopes it will catch Roman’s attention.
Hopes it can progress the touches into something more.
Because along with his distant behavior, there’s been a lack of intimacy between them. And that’s especially hard for her to not think too much about. Because, to her, it was going well. She….she enjoys being with him in that way. Being that close to him.
She thought he did too.
Roman suddenly knocks on the bathroom door, asking, “you almost—damn.” Him stopping himself puts a smile on her face.
Solana chews on her bottom lip, asking, “do–do you like it?” She then motions to her chest that’s heavily exposed. “I know it’s—it’s a lot.”
Roman moves closer to her, eyes raking over her slowly, hand moving to the back of her, under her dress, cupping her ass. “You sure you don’t want to stay in tonight?” A small smile starts to form on her face at his suggestive tone. “The two of us…naked.”
Her stomach flutters with excitement. This is the first time in days that he’s expressed any desire to be with her in that way, and now she’s beyond grateful that she pushed past her insecurity and put on the dress. Because it’s brought out that side of him that she’s been missing.
The side that makes her feel like he wants her.
A hand on his chest, she murmurs, “when we get back.”
Because while she also has a desire to be intimate with him, she’s also excited to see their friends.
Naomi, Bayley, and the twins inviting her (and naturally, Roman) out to a VIP lounge to have a belated birthday celebration since she wasn’t available to do anything with them for her actual birthday. She’s excited to see them, to be around her friends.
“Are you….” Solana doesn't know where exactly it comes from, the bravery and confidence to ask what she’s about to, but it seems to leave her mouth before she can really think too much about it. “Are you okay?”
His gaze takes a curious tone. “What do you mean?”
She shrugs, suddenly nervous about how to word it right. “I don’t know. You’ve just seemed….kinda off the past couple days.” He swallows, and she sees something flash in his eyes, something he shoves away. Something she’s now just as curious about. “Is–”
“I’m fine,” he answers. For some reason, she has a hard time believing that. “Adjusting to being back has just been irritating. I’ve never taken a vacation before, so shit has just been an annoying adjustment.”
Solana nods, believing there could be some truth to that. She doesn’t doubt it’s been an adjustment for him. But, there’s also this nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that there’s something else he’s not telling her.
“O-okay.” Something tells her this conversation will need to be revisited, just not right now. Not when it’s clear he has no desire to express whatever is really bothering him.
Roman dips his head and kisses her cheek. “Let’s get out of here. The sooner we get back, the sooner I can be inside you.” She giggles, gasping as he slaps her ass.
“Roman!”
________
The lounge is beautiful. Reminiscent of an upscale club, minus the packed bodies and loud music. It’s clearly geared toward upscale clientele, and the second level of the lounge has been rented out, space cleared for their small party.
Something she greatly appreciates. Both for herself and Roman. Her husband already sacrificed so much of his preference to be isolated from others vs surrounded by people on their trip.
The group separates naturally, Roman and the twins with Solana sitting near Bayley and Naomi, the two women nearly bursting at the seams with a ton of questions/statements.
“How was it?”
“We already know it was nice considering we barely heard from you.”
“Dulce mama was out here living her best life.”
“You got a lil tan too!”
“We want to know everything.”
Solana giggles, shrugging. “It was really nice.”
Bayley scoffs, “just nice? Girl, you gotta give us more than that.”
Solana opens her mouth, pausing a bit. “I mean….we spent a lot of time together.” Her eyes fall over to Roman who’s surprisingly engaging in conversation with Jimmy and Jey. Solo, as well. His presence surprised her.
She didn’t know he was coming. Not to mention, she didn’t think he’d want to be present for anything that’s not required when it comes to her.
“And?”
Solana knows they’re not intentionally asking about sex, but their questions are unintentionally pointing her to share just that. And for some reason, most likely the trust and bond she’s formed with them, she’s not opposed.
That doesn’t stop the maddening blush from forming on her cheeks as she shares, “we—well, we finally, umm—”
Loud gasps interrupt her, Naomi being the one to ask the infamous question, “Solana, did ya’ll….” Solana chews on her bottom lip, nodding softly.
Bayley and Naomi have to cover their mouths to hold in the screams that would no doubt draw all of the wrong attention.
“Oh my god, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Bayley exclaims, suddenly asking with all the protectiveness, “he was good to you, right? Didn’t pressure you—”
“No. No. Never.” That’s probably the easiest thing to answer. Solana doesn’t know how to properly express how good Roman was to her. Has been to her. “He was—it was perfect.”
Naomi smirks, playfully nudging Solana’s shoulder. “We told you it was great with the right person.” They couldn’t have been more right. “So….was it just once or—”
Bayley scoffs. “We cannot be asking her all these intimate details!” Only to then casually ask, “so like how big is his dick really?”
Naomi falls out laughing while Solana’s eyes widen at the graphic nature of Bayley’s question.
“So you can ask about his dick size, but I can’t ask about how many times they’ve done it?”
Bayley protests, sipping some of her Vodka as she counters, “my question is for science.”
“Bullshit!”
Solana shakes her head, giggling as she coyly answers, “we…it’s been a couple times.”
Naomi smirks. “Okay, girl, I see you. Ya’ll went to Mexico and got freaky.” Solana takes a sip of her bottled water, more than certain her cheeks are a red, hot mess. “Seriously though….I’m happy for you. With what you’ve been through, you deserve to have a happy, healthy, sex life. Every woman does.”
“She’s right.” Bayley agrees, and Solana finds the emotions brewing again.
Never did she think it was possible, that she could have just that. A healthy sex life. Just how she never imagined she would end up with someone as amazing as Roman. Yet both of those things are exactly what have happened, and she’s never been happier.
“Wait, does this mean we’re gonna be godmothers soon?” Bayley asks an otherwise normal question that has Solana still in her seat.
Naomi chimes, “I mean, she’s not allowed to be on birth control, and I know Roman had to have broken his condom only rule since they’re married so….”
Solana has a hard time saying anything, has a hard time not thinking about something that should have been considered the moment that barrier was broken.
Roman and Solana have consummated their marriage.
They’ve had sex.
Several times.
Unprotected sex.
They are actively having unprotected sex.
Naomi is right in that not once did Roman bring up protection.
It has her wondering now if he didn’t bring it up because, in his mind, they’re now working on creating an heir?
But, she dispels that theory pretty quickly, remembering how determined he was to help her not feel any pressure regarding them conceiving a child. He’s never seemed too concerned with that part of their marriage deal.
Unless….
Unless it was because they weren’t sexually active, but now that they are….
Suddenly, another conversation with Roman regarding just what the plan is for that is on the agenda.
Along with whatever it is that’s bothering him that he won’t open up about.
Bayley and Naomi must pick up on her change and mood, switching the conversation to something regarding some mess that kicked off at the Warehouse between Nia and some person named Mia. Solana does her best to follow along when she feels her phone vibrate in her bag.
Pulling it out, she unlocks her phone and opens up messages, specifically the unopened thread from an unsaved number.
Unknown: Did you really think you would get away with fucking us over?
Unknown: You were warned.
Unknown: What happens next is on you.
The phone drops out of Solana’s hand the minute she’s done reading the text. She can barely breathe, barely process what’s happening as her head snaps up, eyes frantically searching for the one person who’s now been kicked to the front of her mind.
Roman
She spots him, expression unreadable as he sips on a beer, speaking to Solo.
Solana jumps up from the sofa, ignoring Naomi and Bayley asking what’s wrong. She kicks her heels off and makes a beeline straight for him, uncaring about the bodies she has to squeeze between, the few individuals who she actually shoves out of her way. Something at any other time she wouldn’t dare consider doing. But this isn’t any other time, this is life or death.
Literally.
“Roman!”
His eyes snap with hers seconds before she successfully makes her way over to him. Her heart feels like it’s about to beat out of her chest. She can barely breathe, and she’s certain that she’s trembling, but none of that stops her from rushing out, “we have to get out of here!”
His hands move to her face, cupping it, taking note of her frantic state as he asks with all of the protectiveness. “What’s wrong?”
Eyes watering, she opens her mouth. “I—”
That’s as far as it goes, the most and only thing that she’s able to express because before she’s cut off. Roman’s gaze lifts above her and the last thing she sees is the slight widening of his eyes as he shoves her to the side of him with so much force that she slams against the ground, her head bouncing off the carpeted floor.
But, that’s not what catches her attention. Not the shock of him pushing her so harshly, putting his hands on her in a way she would have never thought possible. No, that’s not an issue at all, because the sound that only seems to have registered upon her fall is what has her attention snatched and fixated.
A single sound that she hasn’t heard in years.
A gunshot.
And then chaos.
There’s shouts, there’s screams, there’s people running around in a mass panic, but a single voice cuts through all of that: clear, loud, furious. “Get her out of here now!”
Roman.
And it’s the sound of his voice that makes Solana snap her head to the side, eager to lay eyes on him in the midst of this chaos.
But, it’s when she does that everything changes, the world stops and time stands still.
“No.” She can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t move, can’t function because all she can focus on is the sight of Roman’s men with a perimeter around him, guns lifted and aimed, ready to fire off at a moment's notice. “Roman!” She tries to climb up off the floor, tries to get to him, to see him, to touch him.
Solana is unable to look away from the sight of him holding onto his shoulder, face grimaced in pain, blood seeping through his long fingers.
But before can get to him, before she can actually touch him, another voice calls out, “cover me!” And she’s suddenly off the floor, body pressed against a stranger, the interaction causing her to try to jerk away.
Partially because of the contact, mostly because she needs to get to Roman.
“We gotta get you out of here!” Solo’s voice, harsh and determined, makes her realize he’s the strange body that she also now realizes is trying to get her the hell out of dodge. “Now!”
And it’s right then and there that another gunshot rings out, followed by several more.
Solana’s panic nearly triples as she tries to push him away, tears burning her eyes, “no! I’m not leaving him!” Solana beats her fist against Solo as he continues to drag her, Solana begging, “don’t make me leave him!” The tears are spilling over, the last glimpse of Roman showing Jimmy and Jey rushing over in his direction. “Please!” Solana continues to cry out his name, fighting a losing battle against Solo who is successful in ushering her out of the emergency exit located in the back.
Once outside, he has to keep dragging her down the fire escape staircase, because she doesn’t stop trying to push him away and doesn't stop from trying to get back to Roman. Solana can’t stop replaying the nightmare that has just become a reality.
She has no idea where Naomi is. Where Bayley is. Only able to see the twins and Roman before she was ripped away from the scene.
Roman….
He pushed her to protect her.
Moved her out the line of fire and took the bullet intended for her.
He’s been shot because of her.
He’s been hurt because of her.
And it’s all her fault.
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arranged marriage 2 - f.c
hello angels! oh my goodness thank you all so much for the love in the last chapter, i cannot express how grateful i am to all of you! Felix is 22 and reader is 20.
here is chapter 2 (there may only be 1 or two chapters left 😔) of my short series! here is y/ns ring, if you don’t like it you can change it, there is also going to be a link to a few dresses and again if you don’t like them you can change it!! there will probably be some mistakes so bare with me lol, enjoy reading🩰
taglist🩰 (add yourselves here): @hummusxx @lalademie @kikiandbella @anamiad00msday @saltburntt @livvy256 @gee72sstuff @edogiscool @real-lana-del-rey @cel3stel0v3r
it had been almost three months since your engagement party and a lot had changed. you and Felix were not getting along at all. your parents had thought it was best if the two of you moved in together and it had been the worst decision they had ever made. all you would do was fight and argue.
today, luckily, your mum, Elspeth and Venetia had decided that it was best for you to start trying on wedding dresses which meant you wouldn’t have to see Felix. “how are things with you and Felix going?” Elspeth asked, the three of you were sat in the back of the car almost at the wedding dress shop.
“not good. all we do is fight, i’m seriously considering not following through with this marriage” you rolled your eyes at the mere thought of Felix. “he’s being a dick head. sorry about him y/n, it’s like he’s on his period” Venetia apologised for how her brother was acting.
“oh no y/n don’t think like that, it’s just nerves. the two of you are going to have a very extravagant wedding and he gets nervous with those sorts of things” Elspeth said as she ran a hand through her hair. “it will get better i promise” she finished, showing you a sweet smile.
“surely you’re excited to try some dresses on? you might even find the one today” your mum finally spoke up. she loved the idea of you in a lovely white ballgown, walking up the isle arm linked with your fathers.
she had been dreaming about you getting married for years. “i hope so. how do you know if it’s the right dress for you?” you questioned, both women had been married and been through this exact same experience as you.
“you just have a gut feeling. i mean with me i had two dresses. i had one for the ceremony and then one for the party, god i wish i could relieve my wedding. it was the happiest day of my life” Elspeth said and your mum hummed, agreeing with what she had said.
“you’ll know if it’s the right dress, don’t worry about that sweetheart” your mum grabbed ahold of your hand and squeezed it gently. you nodded, giving her hand a squeeze back. “oh look, we are here” Elspeth said as the driver pulled up outside a fancy wedding boutique. “well, here goes nothing”.
-♡-
“oh that dress is ravishing” you heard Elspeth say as you looked at yourself in the mirror. “it’s elegant, fits your body nicely, you look beautiful. what do you think?” she continued as she looked at the dress. this was the fourth dress you had tried on and you were beginning to think that this bridal shop didn’t have anything for you. “well, it’s a pretty dress. but i think it’s a little too plain” you mum agreed “it is a little too plain. very pretty but you need some sort of design on there” Venetia nodded her head, indicating that it was time to try on yet another dress.
you walked back to the changing room with the stylist and she helped you get into the next dress. this one was beautiful, it looked like a princess dress and that was something you loved. however, the dress was still plain. you walked out and stood in front of the three of them, their gasps were loud. “oh my goodness, this dress looks absolutely perfect on you y/n” Venetia said as her eyes trailed over the dress.
“y/n, you look so beautiful sweetheart” your mum said as she looked at you in awe. “i love it but it’s still plain, i want some sort of pattern on the fabric. i love the way the dress is and i would have picked it if it had a pattern” you said as your hands brushed over the dresses skirt. your bridal stylist Amy spoke up “you do look gorgeous in this dress style but i think i have one similar to this with a pattern. why don’t you go to the dressing room and i’ll bring it through?” you nodded, a smile appearing on your face.
you made your way to the dressing room filled with nerves and excitement. hearing that she had a dress similar to this made your heart beat fast. after a few minutes she came into the dressing room with the most perfect dress you’d ever seen. it was exactly what you wanted.
she helped you put the dress on and your heart fluttered, this was your dress. you walked back out your mums eyes filled with tears and both Elspeth and Venetia gasped, i’m awe of how beautiful you looked. “y/n i seriously have no words. you look so radiant and elegant, i am praying that you have picked this dress” your mum said, the dress was absolutely perfect.
“i can’t see any flaws in this dress, i think if i was to ever design my wedding dress this would be it” you turned to face the three of them, you’d never felt like this before. “that dress is just absolutely gorgeous. you look like a bride” although you were mad at Felix, you were excited to get married. not because you were marrying him but because you could party like no other in the most beautiful dress with your family and friends.
“i think my brother might fall in love with you when he sees you in this dress” Venetia somewhat joked, she knew her brother would at some point fall in love with you and this dress would make it 100x easier. “i think it’s time we buy this dress and go celebrate” Elspeth said which you all agreed too.
-♡-
you had been out all day and it was now 7 at night. you hadn’t heard from Felix at all and you were not looking forward to seeing him. you opened the door to your house. “Felix, are you home?” you called out but got no response. you walked round the house saw him sitting on the sofa watching the tv.
“hey” you spoke as you sat down on the sofa next to him, you put your bag next to you and sighed. it had been a long day and finally sitting down felt amazing. he ignored you, his eyes still fixated on the tv screen. “how’s your day been?” he shrugged at you and you sighed, rubbing your forehead in frustration. “we can’t live like this Felix. this is no life” you looked over at him.
“y/n, have you ever thought that maybe i don’t want to live here with you?” his tone didn’t shock you, he had been in a bad mood for weeks. “i’m sorry but this wasn’t my decision either. do you really think i want to live here when you’re in a bad mood all the time?” he was silent.
“maybe think that i’m trying to work this out for the sake of our parents and whatever this relationship is and you’re just throwing it back in my face” he stood up, his tall frame towering over you.
“y/n. this isn’t a relationship. we are being forced to marry each other” you stood up, you weren’t going to let him intimidate you. there was an uncomfortable distance between you both.
“what is your problem Felix? why is there such an issue with you marrying me. i get we don’t love each other but am i really that bad?” you hated to admit it but even though Felix had been awful to you, there was a part of you that was falling for him.
there was some days where he was okay and the two of you got along, having Felix be nice to you was what made you somewhat fall for him. “don’t try guilt trip me y/n. you hate me just as much as i hate you” he scoffed but you just shook your head.
“what? i have been nice to you since after that talk we had in the bathroom at the party. i’m sick of you blaming me for absolutely everything when i’m reality it’s you who is the problem. i don’t think you realise how you make me feel when you treat me like shit” you could feel yourself getting upset.
“don’t pretend like you really care. you never cared about how it made you feel before so what’s changed now?” you shook your head, embarrassed that you were even about to admit this.
“what do you think Felix?” he looked at your confused. “there has been some days where you’ve been so sweet and it’s hard for me to not catch feelings for you” his eyes widened and you looked down at the ground, way too embarrassed to even look at him.
you could feel your eyes welling up with tears of embarrassment and frustration at the fact you had just admitted to Felix, the one person you’d thought you’d hate for the rest of your life, that you had feelings for him. and you knew that he didn’t feel the same. you could tell by his energy when he was around you.
it was silent, it felt like an eternity waiting for him to say something. when you felt like you’d been standing there long enough you decided it was best for you to leave, you’d embarrassed yourself enough and you just wanted to be alone. you grabbed your bag and started walking away from Felix who was still trying to process everything you had just said.
“y/n wait, don’t leave” he noticed that you were heading for the front door and was quick to follow you. Felix was never good with expressing how he felt and spending this time with you, living with you, made him realise that he was falling for you and that scared him. he’d been in love once before and it ended horribly and he didn’t want the same thing to happen with you.
“i’m going to my parents house don’t follow me. i want to be alone” you continued walking and looked for your car keys in your bag, he could hear the waver in your voice as you tried your hardest to keep your tears at bay until you weee away from him.
Felix continued following you and when he was close enough he grabbed your arm and turned you to face him. in one quick motion Felix pressed his lips against yours. it took you by surprise, it was filled with passion and love.
you quickly kissed him back and dropped your bag on the floor. your arms found their way around his neck, pulling him in closer. you’d been in one relationship and had your fair share of kisses in the past but it was nothing like this.
he pulled away, both of you breathless “please don’t go. i’m sorry i upset you. i am just scared” his eyes looked deeply into yours and you felt your heart flutter. “i’m scared that one day you’re going to find someone better than me because let’s be honest we haven’t gotten along, well, ever” his cheeks flushed a bright shade of red as he confessed his feelings.
“at first i didn’t want to do this marriage but now, it’s all i can think about. i see us getting married, travelling together, having kids together and growing old together and i’ve never felt like this before” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, Felix Catton the one boy who truly hated was confessing his feelings for you.
“do you think maybe we could start over and try make this work? not like we did the last time in the toilets” you semi-joked which made him smile, you hated to admit it but his smile was beautiful.
“come on, let’s go back inside it’s freezing out here” he said, pulling away from your hold but he grasped your hand and squeezed it softly. “i can’t believe you dropped your birkin bag for me” you picked it up and looked it over. “you’re lucky, it has no marks on it. looks as good as the day i bought it”
the two of you made your way back inside hand in hand, happy that you both finally expressed your feelings for one another. the only thing left was for the two of you to get married.
#fanfiction#imagines#jacob elordi x fem!reader#jacob elordi imagines#jacob elordi imagine#jacob elordi x reader#jacob elordi#felix catton series#felix catton x fem!reader#felix catton imagine#felix catton imagines#felix catton x reader#felix catton#saltburn imagine#saltburn x reader#saltburn
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Thinking again about how Katara is portrayed in "Ember Island Players" and how a lot of her objections to the play have to do with how it portrays her as an overly emotional damsel who needs Aang to save her from her wretched existence, and the disrespect of her entire culture and people that is used to portray her as someone who needs a man to rescue her.
Which on one level you can interpret as Fire Nation propaganda, but it's also a meta commentary on the series itself, because Katara does rely on Aang as a savior figure and there are certain scenes that are specifically designed to damsel her so that Aang can be a hero.
It's interesting that the show chose to portray Katara watching herself in that position and specifically show that she doesn't like it, in the same episode that they have the real Aang act like them getting together is a foregone conclusion.
In contrast, although the play changes Katara's relationship to Zuko into something romantic and lurid, they do get one thing right about it.
And that's that Katara is the one making the choices.
Of course they also ramp up the sexuality in a way that is gross, especially considering the context of this being a FN play meant to disparage the other nations, but on a meta level it's also meant to make us, the audience, feel disgusted by a woman who makes overt sexual overtures.
I've seen people (who are anti zutara) say that the play is showing Katara as the colonized woman who falls for the colonizer, but that's not what's happening here. Zuko is not portrayed as dominant by the play, and it wouldn't make sense for the FN to portray him that way, either, since one of the purposes of the play is to portray him as a weak and ridiculous traitor who is ultimately defeated. So the joke, both in-story and the one Bryke want to make at a meta level, seems to be about Katara being more dominant than Zuko. In the play, Katara says that she felt attracted to Zuko from the moment he captured her, yet Zuko is shown shrinking from her overtures. And I just have to find it interesting that this is the joke the show wants to make in an episode where the major conflict is Aang making a pushy overture towards Katara and her rejecting it.
Zutarians frequently talk about how zutara focuses on Katara's agency. I have to agree, and I don't know what the conversations about this were at the time, but I do find it suspect that the show seems to recognize this, but decided to make fun of it at the same time. The episode posits the threat that Katara might choose someone other than Aang as a major conflict in the story, shows us a Katara who feels trapped by her role as Aang's damsel, and then makes fun of her for it and expects us to root for her and Aang to get together.
Meanwhile, we also see the real Katara and Zuko get closer in a way that feels real and organic, we see them exchange banter, we see Katara confident and able to best Zuko verbally but also able to comfort him over his fears about the play, which again focuses on her as the main actor in the relationship. Although Zuko and Katara do have that one scene of them moving away from each other in reaction to being portrayed as a couple by the play, overall their relationship remains unplagued by the insecurity that the play brings out in Katara and Aang, which seems to indicate that the problems in their relationship go beyond the play's parodies and that there is actually some truth there, that Katara really does feel like she has less choice in her relationship with Aang and that Aang seems to fear her choices.
It's really not hard to see why zutara becomes appealing in that context.
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You are completely enamored with Hobie Brown.
He was right across the lobby conversing with the others, throwing his head back. You could hear his unhinged laughs, loud enough to inconvenience anyone and everyone near him. His cheeks were tensed so high up he could barely keep his eyes open. You found it adorable. You found the man with his suit and mask adorned with spikes adorable. And you weren't doing much of an effort to keep it a secret, fixedly studying his each and every feature until you had him burned into the back of your mind.
His arm lands around his friend's shoulders, laughter dying down as he wipes tears from his eyes, messying his already smudged eyeliner. You notice the friend slightly wince and assume one of the spikes of Hobie's vest had poked him. You admired— adored the way he had treated everyone all the same. With the same warmth and affability that had you and many others question its unconditional authenticness. He hated consistency. His unpredictability made it difficult to trust him. But you did. Eventually.
You couldn't help the small upward motion of your lips making its way to your face. Despite being in the middle of a rather serious group debriefing. Your hand rises to cover your mouth, pretending to be deep in thought to hide the fact that you weren't paying attention.
Every aspect of his chaos connected like one big complex puzzle no one was ever meant to decipher. Nonetheless, you still tried. And you would have had the courage to finish it if it weren't for your fear of confronting him.
He had gained your reliance and you had gave him more than you had ever expected to.
You were spaced out — eyes still on him and still not listening to a word from your colleagues. Your cheeks were warm from simply staring at him. Imagine how hot it turned and how wide your eyes got when his gaze landed on yours. At the same time, your associate nudged your side.
"Y-Yes?" you manage to say, whipping your head to the group while trying to hide your flusterdness.
"What do you think? Do you want to go through with it?" he asks, slightly suspicious of your reaction. You look around the group, trying to get even the tiniest bit of context.
You gulp as you try to stutter out an answer. "Uhm, well.. It's kinda dangerous, isn't it? I mean, I-I'm sure we could find a safer..? solution...?" Your eyes expectantly studying the other's expressions for any indication of confusion, the fast thumps of your heartbeat getting quicker in suspense.
"A safer solution?.." the group head, an MJ variant, repeats slowly. "Thinking ahead and willing to take the necessary precautions to prevent the risks– I like it!" You let out a silent sigh of relief. "I'm glad you spoke up, [Name]. To be honest, I wasn't so sure either."
The frequency of your breath starts to normalize as your shoulders untense. Another one of your associates suggests to continue the meeting a different time and the majority agrees. As you start to wrap up the assembly, you felt the distracting want to rip away your focus from business once again. You just wanted to see what his handsome face looked like, you justified. As if you'd ever forget. Against your more reasonable half's better judgement, you give in and throw him a short glance. It would only be like 0.5 seconds. He wouldn't even notice, you justified once again.
Your face starts to heat up again when you eyes land on his — already looking at your direction. His friends seemed to have already left but you couldn't check to make sure, too frozen to look away. He was smirking to himself, leaning his elbows back against the railing on one of the many glass bridges in HQ. His grin widens when he sees you try to hide how flushed you were, forcing yourself to tear your gaze off him and nodding to whatever the conversation had arrived to.
It wasn't uncommon for Hobie to reciprocate your unintentional advances — he has done so more often than naught. Sometimes he'd take your stubbornness for banter and play along with you, then you'd find out when he'd make a confusing, out-of-place remark that leaves you absolutely flushed. He was so irrevocably infuriating.
"Thank you, everyone, for your input," MJ says, handing each of you smiles of gratitude. She expected the bunch to disperse but they didn't, you didn't either. "What do you expect me to say? Meeting adjourned?" She and a few others laugh as the awkwardness disappears. They leave.
You thanked her as well as you started to walk backwards — to be well on you way. But you feel yourself bump into someone, their hands on both your shoulders instantly before you had time to process who it was.
"You won't mind much if I steal her now, right?" A low and silvery voice asks — Hobie's voice. You've replayed it in your head far too many times to doubt it. You look up a bit to see him smirking down, a glint of mischief in his eyes.
"Hobie," MJ greets, her playful gaze flickering back and forth between you two. She raises both her hands in surrender, "She's all yours." She turns to take off.
He smirks and leans his head down beside yours, lips right by your ear. "I know."
#spider man: across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv hobie#hobie#hobie brown#hobie brown x reader#hobie x reader#spider punk#hobie fluff#spider punk x reader#hobie brown x you#hobie brown x y/n#hobie x you#hobie x y/n
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https://www.tumblr.com/haedalkoo/758692612962156544/more-context-to-the-word-some-k-kmers-are-hearing
I’m confused what does this change? And could you please re-explain it with the extra context that was found?
It doesn't really change much!! In my opinion, I think what k-armys are saying is that it adds into the idea that Jungkook was saying Jimin didn't come see him often.
Let's revisit the conversation:
🐰만나서 술 한잔 하자 하자' 해놓고 안 와 - We were supposed to go get a drink but (you?) didn't come.
🐥원래 그런 거 아니겠늬 - isn't that how things go?
🐰 형 바쁠 때는 내가 겁나 한가한데 (나를) 안 찾고, 나 바쁠 때는 형이 한가한데 (나를) 안 찾고 - when you were busy I was so freaking free but (you) didn't look (for me), and when I was busy you were free but (you) didn't look (for me)
🐥아니지- 찾았지이- that's not truee, i did look for youu!
(... JM talks about Tae and JK says I guess we wouldn't have met without this show either)
🐥야아, 그래서 형이 왔잖아아 - yah, that's why hyung came!
🐰그니까, 왔네 왔네, 왔네 finally - That's right, you came, you came, you came. Finally.
In purple, the things added by the k-army. These "to me" in brackets are interpretations of what JK meant, because he didn't use any clear pronouns or particles to indicate who wasn't reaching out. From context and repetition, armys deduced he meant Jimin. Still, this is not confirmed.
In pink, I've highlighted the verb "come". At the beginning, which is what k-kkmers have discovered, JK says "didn't come" (assuming he meant /Jimin/ didn't come, not that /they/ didn't /go/ get a drink.) At the end of the conversation, JM says "that's why I came!!" in response to JK's claim that they wouldn't have met without the show.
The use of "come" is what suggests JK was saying JM was the one that didn't meet up with him, because he's saying 'you didn't come to find me' and Jimin argues that he did, and that's why he's there. In the end, JK agrees. You did come (looking for me).
Does this make sense?? It's a bit all over the place haha sorry!!
#jikook#kookmin#are you sure?!#jikook travel show#translation#jikook and korean#jeon jungkook#park jimin
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NOTE: I may or may not be absolutely in love with the below Thomfield fanart by @raihyeon, and felt the need to write a short little piece inspired by it. I hope you don't mind!
FANART LINK BELOW, DON'T MISS OUT ON CHECKING IT OUT!
• • • • •
Laying back on her handmade quilt, completely relaxed, face directed up to the calm blue skies, eyes closed; Amanda didn’t think that she had ever felt so joyfully at peace. She inhaled deeply to take in the blooming nature around the expanse of grass between Hellerton House and the lake where she had dragged Max to enjoy a small last-minute makeshift picnic in order to get the artist some sun for once. Of course, it still wasn’t technically getting her away from the campus like Amanda had wished for, but she took her victories where she could, well aware that Max currently had a fairly busy schedule with spring break quickly approaching.
After having – like always – absolutely devoured the food that Amanda had brought her, Max had slipped off to take a couple shots of the newly grown flowers and coloring trees around the area, muttering in amazement about having never expected the campus to be so beautiful in the spring. Amanda had teased her about the fact that she had said the same exact thing about the campus with every season shift, but Max had only offered her one of those heart-fluttering crooked smiles that were far too adorable for Amanda’s health, before sticking her tongue out at her and making her way closer to the water. Amanda had watched her wander around looking for perfect angles on anything that caught her eye, wondering if she ever professionally published her more lively work or if that was a part of her art that she kept to herself.
When the sun had moved out from behind a cloud and shined off the lake water at just the wrong angle, however, Amanda had been forced to look away, and so she had chosen to lay back on the quilt and relax while she gave her girlfriend longer with her camera.
The now incredibly familiar sound of a polaroid camera snapping close-by caught Amanda’s attention, causing her to open her eyes and look in the direction she had heard the sound float over from. This damn girl, she thought as she admired the smile gracing beautiful features, Max too busy easing the polaroid from its slot once ready to notice that Amanda was watching her.
Propping herself up on her forearms, Amanda stretched her legs out in front of her as she smiled up at her girlfriend. “You know, you still owe me that modeling fee.”
Deep-blue eyes lifted from the camera to find dark-brown, and Max lifted her eyebrows as she set her camera and the new pictures down on the quilt beside her bag. Now kneeling beside Amanda, she playfully said, “Oh, really? And here I thought I’d already paid all my dues.”
“Hey, my pockets are no more lined than they were before we started this arrangement,” Amanda teased, nudging Max gently with her knee.
Max moved over her and Amanda immediately made room for the woman between her legs, completely entranced by blue and unable to avert her eyes from Max’s gaze as the younger woman settled down against her. Resting her chin down on Amanda’s chest, Max stared up at her adoringly.
“I thought I was paying by means of other commodities?” Max spoke quietly now, as if she were sharing a secret that no one else could ever know.
If the lowered seductive tone hadn’t been enough to give away exactly what she had meant, the way her hands slid underneath her shirt and up Amanda’s sides, fingernails delicately scratching over skin, definitely erased any doubt. Immediately, Amanda felt the burning in her cheeks that indicated that she was blushing.
Still balancing on her forearms, she lifted her hands just enough to grab hold of Max’s arms. “I don’t recall ever having that conversation. I would never agree to such a thing.”
“It’s too late now,” Max said, sticking her tongue out at her as she pulled her hands from her shirt to instead slide them down her arms until she was playing mindlessly with Amanda’s fingers. “Not my fault you don’t remember. Shoulda signed a contract.”
Bringing one of her hands up to brush the hair back from Max’s eyes before settling against her face, Amanda slid the pad of her thumb over an irresistible bottom-lip. “Perhaps you can show me how this supposedly agreed upon ‘commodity’ is better than money?”
Max’s smile brightened, and she lifted up just enough to bring her lips over Amanda’s, teasing a kiss as she whispered, “I think I could manage that.”
#thomfield#amanda thomas#max caulfield#life is strange double exposure#lis double exposure#amanda x max#max x amanda
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Oh Mama! A continuation of Oh Baby
Summery: As the birth draws closer you reflect on all the ways Pedro has been there for you throughout your pregnancy.
Warnings: Swearing, verbal abuse (not by our sweet man), protective Pedro, fluff, use of Y/N.
Italics indicate in ward thinking and flashbacks.
This is a continuation of Oh Baby which was meant to be a one shot but after a request for a part 2 I've decided to write this and a part 3 which will be called Oh Daddy, which will focus on Pedro being the amazing dad and partner we all know he would be :)
Word Count: 2,836
Miserable! that's how you feel. Miserable, bloated, heavy. No matter how much you shift or turn, finding a good sleeping position is next to impossible. It also doesn't help that you're in the middle of a sweltering heatwave. The aircon is on but it might as well be non existent with the hot flashes that keep plaguing your body.
You look to your left and feel a little twinge of jealousy as you watch Pedro sleep soundly in the dim lamp light. Why the fuck should he get to sleep while I can't! You know it's just the hormones making you feel irritable and bitter but right now you want nothing more than to shake him awake and tell him to stay awake with you.
But no matter how irritable your last month of pregnancy is making you there's no way you be that spiteful. As you watch Pedro sleep, his plush lips slightly parted, letting slow, rhythmic breathes escape, you begin to reminisce all the ways he's been there for you, supporting you and caring for you since you'd told him you're pregnant.
Neither one of you had planned for this baby, but life doesn't always go according to our own plans. It has it's own agenda and all you can do is follow the path it lays before you and do your very best. After your initial fear of telling Pedro about the baby- and that awful resulting anxiety induced nightmare - you both seemed to easily slip into your natural roles. You; the nurturing and tender mother and Pedro; the protective and comforting father and partner.
For someone who once said he's never gonna be a dad, he sure seemed happy and content these past 7 months and that happiness has bubbled over into excitement now that the birth will be any day. Pedro stirs in his sleep a little, causing a couple of stray curls to fall onto his forehead. You gently brush them back up off his face, taking care not to wake him.
You guess he could actually do with the rest after weeks of being at your every beck and call, sometimes even going out at stupid 'o' clock to buy whatever your insatiable cravings demanded. You shift for the thousandth time, onto your side and put a pillow between your knees to provide some - but not much - relief. You continue to watch him sleep, feeling his breath fan your face, his shoulders slowly rising and falling and you feel the baby kick you again.
The little Bun - as you both lovingly refer to it since you've both agreed to not find out the sex and be surprised - has been quite active today. Tears fill your eyes and suddenly you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, as you place your hand tenderly on your bump and stare at the face of the man you love. This is what it's all about, you perceive, growing a beautiful new life with the perfect man. And boy, has he been just that for the past several months.
Your mind starts to wander back to all the moments where Pedro has gone above and beyond for you both....
The third month of your pregnancy is when your morning sickness really ramped up. Until that point you had only felt slightly nauseous but then it hit you like a ton of bricks. The first time you threw up actually startled Pedro. The poor guy almost had a heart attack when you leapt up from bed, accidentally dragging the quilt and him across the bed. You would have felt bad about waking him if you weren't too busy spewing your guts up into the toilet.
"What the fuck?!" is what you heard from the bedroom as you heaved and retched. "Baby?... You Okay?" Pedro asked quietly from behind you in the doorway to the on suite. "Yeah I'm-" blargh!- "I'm... good," you finally reply in a shaky voice as you wipe your mouth with one hand while the other holds your hair back. And so it went on for months. Pedro was always beside you (when he wasn't away filming or doing interviews) rubbing soothing strokes along your back, whispering comforting words and waiting with a glass of water in hand.
The more frequent the episodes became, the more he started to worry about you. You hated seeing him so worried as much as he hated seeing you be sick, so one time you'd decided to make light of the situation. After chucking up for what felt like the millionth time you called Pedro to the bathroom. He came rushing to you but before he could say a word you cried "Hold my hairrrrr!!" in your best whiny Dieter voice. Pedro burst out laughing as he clearly hadn't been expecting that of all things.
"That's a good one," he chuckled as he did indeed hold your hair. "How long have you been waiting to do that?" You look up at him and giggle but it's cut short by another bought of retching, which of course Pedro helped you through with words of encouragement. "Just be glad I don't have to shit, too," you mumble into the toilet bowl causing another burst of laughter to erupt from him.
You smile quietly to yourself at the memory while smoothing over the arc of your bump. You can't believe that a woman can naturally grow so big and not burst, which takes you back to the time you'd gotten upset over your sudden weight gain....
After coming home from a much needed shopping trip for maternity clothes and larger everyday clothes you slump onto the settee to rest your aching feet while Pedro puts the kettle on. You miss coffee but it's better for the baby if you stick to tea for a while. It was just as good and definitely helped to relax you. Once the drinks were finished Pedro took the cups to the kitchen and started to prepare for dinner. "I'm gonna go put the clothes away," you called to him in the kitchen, to which he replied, "Don't be too long. Food will be ready soon."
Staring into your wardrobe, a lump forms in your throat and tears burn behind your eyes as you take in the sight of some of your favourite and much smaller clothes. The more items you remove, to be replaced with the new and larger (two sizes larger to be precise) clothes, the more you feel the dam about to burst. Fighting it is no good, what with the hormones and all, and in a matter of seconds you're a blubbering mess on the bedroom floor.
"Y/N...," Pedro calls up the stairs, "Food's ready." You quickly choke back your sobs as best you can and try not to sound like someone who's just been in the middle of a complete breakdown. "O-kay," you faltered unintentionally. Great, maybe he didn't notice. Oh, but he did notice. His hasty footsteps were a dead giveaway of that fact. Pedro appeared in the bedroom moments later, his brows pinched and deep chestnut eyes full of compassion. "Sweetheart? What's wrong?" he asked dolefully as he slowly lowered himself to the floor next to you, both of you surrounded by your old clothes.
You look up at him through red, puffy eyes. "I'm so f... fat!," you bawled while gripping one of your favourite tops. "I feel like a whale!" Pedro lets out an endearing huff. "What?... It's true!" Bwahhaha!... "Shhh..." Pedro coos into your ear as he takes you in his strong arms. "That's the most ridiculous thing you've ever said. You're not fat and you certainly don't look like a whale," he asserted as he holds your flushed and tear streaked face in his hands and looks directly into your eyes. "You're growing a brand new life in there," he says as he places a hand on your belly. "Of course your body will change and it's a good change."
"I just... can't see how you co...could be attracted to me right now," you wept while looking down. "What?!" Pedro asked incredulously. "Do you have any idea what it does to me seeing you carry and care for my baby?" Pedro wipes your tears away and you look up to meet his eyes once more. "You've never been more beautiful than you are right now, darling. Don't you forget that, okay?" Through calmer breathes you whisper "Okay."
Just as you got semi comfortable you realise you're now quite thirsty. With an annoyed eye roll and a huff, you roll onto your back and push yourself up to reach over for the glass of water on your nightstand. Maybe you moved a little too fast because as you put the glass down you suddenly feel a little light headed. It passed in literally a few seconds. This is nothing compared to the dizzy spells you had to endure a few months ago....
You woke with a start when your phone rang. It might as well have been a bloody foghorn with how it pierced the peace and quiet of the living room. It's Pedro. You haven't seen each other for a few weeks due to his filming commitments but you talk everyday. Swiping the answer button you groggily mumble, "Hello." Hey sweetheart," Pedro began cheerfully, "Thought I'd call you on your lunch break... You okay? You sound funny." "Yeah..." you answer sluggishly, "I'm fine." You know he'll never buy it. "What's wrong?" Pedro asks in an assertive but gentle tone. "Nothing...," you try to placate him.
"...They just sent me home from work because I was having dizzy spells." "Did you call the doctor?" Pedro interjects quickly, his voice laced with concern. You can almost feel his anxiety through the phone. "Not yet. I just needed to lay down for a bit. I'm actually feeling a bit better." Okay, that may have been a white lie but the last thing you want is to cause Pedro any unnecessary worry. But of course he's worried. "Why didn't you call me straight away?" Pedro pressed perturbedly. "I just didn't want to worry you," You answer with a hint of guilt.
"I'm coming home-" "Ped, you can't. You have an interview today-" "They'll understand," he insisted, firmly. "I'm on the next flight home." You know when he speaks in such a final tone that his mind is made up. "Okay," you relent, feeling like a burden, but you know he'd worry like hell if he didn't come back to you right now. Turns out you had low iron levels and low blood pressure. Pedro made you stay off work and re-scheduled his interview with Vanity Fair. He never left your side for the next couple of weeks while you recovered.
Your eyelids feel like they're made of lead but sleep still eludes you. Silently pushing up on your elbows, you peer over Pedro's shoulder at the alarm clock. 2:38 am. You lay back down on your side and your shuffling must have disturbed Pedro because now his arm has found it's way across your side, hand splayed on your back slowly pulling you into his broad body, tucking your head under his chin. He sighs in his sleep and his breathing evens out again as he settles back into slumber. Being wrapped up in the arms of the man you love is absolute heaven for you.
You lay a hand against his chest feeling the calm and slow movements of his thorax. With his arm draped over you it's impossible to not feel safe and protected. It feels like nothing in the world can ever hurt you and your child. Pedro's action's assured you of that when an overly enthusiastic fan verbally abused you one evening....
"The black Audi A6, please." Pedro handed the ticket to the valet as you both stepped out of the restaurant. After two weeks apart this date night is just what you both needed. The morning sickness had finally stopped by your seventh month and you'd been looking forward to this night all week. The clingy, thigh length, black maternity dress you'd bought especially for tonight hugged your bump and the curve of your hips perfectly. You actually felt attractive for the first time in months.
While waiting for the car you slip your hand into Pedro's and place a soft kiss on his shoulder. "Thank you for tonight. It's been perfect," you smiled warmly. Pedro let go of your hand to place his own at your waist, pulling you closer into his chest. "You deserve it, baby," he whispered as his lips brush your hairline. "And by the way," he adds while looking up and down your body, "You look incredible!" Even after all this time together he's still able to make you blush like a teenager. Before you can reply an excited squeal ruptures the still night air. "On my god! Pedro Pascal!" A young woman cries, unable to contain her elation.
She rushes over to you both with two more companions who are equally excited to meet Hollywood's hottest celebrity. The two girls and man couldn't have been older than their mid twenties. "Hi," Pedro smiled and tightened his grip on your waist. He's always been protective of you and now that you're having his baby that protective side has increased exponentially. "Can we have a photo, please!" The other girl asked with a huge grin. "Of course you can," Pedro chirped but didn't release his hold on you. You gently squeeze his hand while peeling it off your hip, a silent 'it's okay' and you excuse yourself to stand several feet away.
You're used to fans approaching, and you love to see how much Pedro's supporters adore him, and that his mere presence whips people up into a frenzy. You smile proudly in adoration, stroking your baby bump as you watch how much of a natural he is with his fans. "Thank you!" "We're huge fans!" "You're amazing!" "We love you!" The words are spilling out of their mouths at the same time, all talking over one another. "Aw, thank you so much, guys. That means a lot," Pedro replies, his beaming smile stretching from one cheek to the other.
While the women are still fussing, the man looks your way and then down to your rounded stomach. "Aww, baby Pascal," he burst vehemently. Suddenly he rushed at you, hands outstretched and a determined look on his face, "Can I feel?" The intensity from this stranger sent you into automatic defence mode for your baby. You step back, instinctively covering your belly just as he's about to grab you, permission or not! "Don't touch me!" you cautioned him, nervously. Pedro's head snapped from the women to your direction at the sound of your alarmed voice.
"Gee's Okay!" the man snapped at you irately. "I only wanted to feel. No need to be such a bitch about it!" He spat the word bitch out like he had a bad taste in his mouth causing your eyes to widen. "The fuck did you just say to her?!!" Pedro exploded as he stood between you and this entitled piece of shit. "Whoa... easy man-" the man stuttered in defence but Pedro cut him off. "You have no right to touch anyone against their will, especially a pregnant woman. And who the fuck do you think you are calling her a bitch because she said no?!" The man stared dumfounded. Pedro leaned in to the man's personal space, seething, "You'd better walk away while you still can!"
You've never seen Pedro this angry, literally shaking with rage, chest to chest with the guy, who looks like he's about to piss himself. His friends pull him away, scolding him in hushed tones and offering apologies to you both. "Baby?..." you soothed while stroking up and down Pedro's arm. He turns to you, chest heaving and still shaking but the moment he locks eyes with you his gaze softens, frown lines un-creasing and muscles relaxing. He wraps his arms around you, kissing the top of your head, languidly. "You're okay, darling. I won't ever let anything happen to you two." And he means that. You can feel the conviction of his declaration as if it were a physical manifestation.
You hadn't even realised you had fallen asleep until you were being jostled awake by a deep, concerned voice. "Y/N... Y/N, wake up." "Hmmm?" you groaned sleepily as you came to, feeling like you could smother Pedro with his pillow for waking you now! "You've got to be fucking kidding me!" annoyance and exhaustion seeped through your words. "Baby, I literally just dropped off!" "The bed's wet!" Pedro quickly replied. "What the?..." It was more of a realisation than a question as you looked down to see your shorts and the mattress completely soaked. "My water's have broken!" you gasp, looking wide eyed into Pedro's equally wide eyes. It's time....
Oh Daddy A Conclusion
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fandom#pedro x reader#pedrohub#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedrostories#pedropascal#pedrito#jose pedro balmaceda pascal#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x f!reader#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro pascal fluff
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Team Dynamics | LN4
Summary: To celebrate the launch of their 2024 car for the upcoming F1 season, McLaren hosts a masquerade gala event that sees two souls connect and lead to a whirlwind romance. Unfortunately, the pair realise soon after that they are to work together quite closely after they agreed it would only be a one-night thing.
Warnings: Smut, alcohol, one night stand, unprotected sex
Pairing: Gemma (I don't like writing with Y/N or reader) x Lando Norris
Series Masterlist
PART 3
In the weeks leading up to the first race of the season, Lando finds himself grappling with the persistent presence of Gemma in his thoughts. Her green eyes linger in his dreams, and the echo of her laughter plays in his mind when he's out with friends. Despite their agreement to keep things casual and without strings, Lando can't help but entertain fleeting fantasies about what it would be like if Gemma were more than just a one-night stand.
The memory of their night together lingers, the allure of her company and the connection they shared leaving an indelible mark on his psyche. He wonders about the possibility of Gemma being more than just a passing moment in his life. The prospect of having her around as a girlfriend begins to stir a longing within him, a desire for something more profound than their initial agreement.
For Gemma, the morning after their night together was marked by a quiet departure from Lando's penthouse. She slips back into the dress from the previous night, leaving his clothes neatly folded on the coffee table. In a subtle yet deliberate gesture, she folds her panties and places them on top of his clothes—a silent reminder of their shared intimacy. They part ways without exchanging numbers, and Lando realises that he didn't even catch her last name.
As Lando wakes up to an empty room, the disappointment is palpable, tempered only by the acknowledgment of the agreement they made. The absence of contact details and the mystery surrounding Gemma's identity create a void, a lingering question mark that tugs at his curiosity. Yet, he respects the unspoken terms of their encounter, acknowledging that some connections are meant to be fleeting, existing in the realm of memories rather than in the unfolding chapters of his life.
“Mate, you’re so distracted.” Max, Lando’s best friend, comments as they sit in Lando’s Monaco apartment playing video games.
“I think I’ve met the girl of my dreams.” Lando responds.
“Just because she slept with you?” Max chuckles.
“No, not because of that. You didn’t see her. She was stunning, mate. Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. And, she’s funny, like genuinely funny without even trying. You should have seen how unimpressed she was with the penthouse, like it didn’t bother her.” Lando explains to his friend who pauses their game.
“Why don’t you just ask her out on a date?” Max suggests.
“We agreed for it to be just a one night thing.” Lando sighs as he throws his head back into the couch. “I don’t even have her number.”
“You’re so stupid.” Max comments as he pulls out his phone and opens his Instagram app. “What did you say her name was?”
“Gemma.” Lando replies.
As Max opens the McLaren Instagram feed and navigates to the following list, Lando's curiosity is piqued. The search for Gemma's name yields only two results. Max clicks on the first profile, and after a quick glance, Lando shakes his head, indicating that it's not the Gemma he's looking for.
They move on to the second profile, and as Lando inspects the screen, a subtle flicker of recognition crosses his face. Max hands over his phone, and Lando takes it in his hand, scrolling through the girl's feed. Intrigued, he clicks on a post, hoping to find more clues about the enigmatic Gemma and perhaps uncover a connection that goes beyond the one unforgettable night they shared. The screen illuminates with snippets of her life, offering a glimpse into the world that Gemma inhabits outside the confines of that memorable evening.
“This is her.” Lando breathes and keeps scrolling.
As Lando scrolls through Gemma's social media feed, he's met with a mosaic of her life. The racing gear and karting photos stand out prominently, depicting a passionate and skilled side of Gemma that resonates with his own racing world. The adrenaline-filled snapshots capture her in her element, surrounded by the machinery and thrill that defines the racing lifestyle.
Interwoven with the racing theme are numerous stand-up paddling photos, showcasing Gemma's versatility and love for outdoor activities. The images paint a picture of a dynamic and adventurous spirit, someone who embraces challenges and finds joy in the simplicity of nature.
Beyond the racetrack and the paddleboard adventures, there are glimpses of Gemma's social life. Posts with friends at bars and restaurants capture the moments of camaraderie and shared laughter. Family also holds a special place in her life, evident in the photos celebrating birthdays of loved ones. The snapshots offer a multifaceted view of Gemma—a racer, an adventurer, a socialite, and a family-oriented individual.
As Lando delves into Gemma's digital world, the distance between them seems to shrink, unveiling layers of her personality that go beyond their brief encounter. Each post becomes a fragment of a larger narrative, and Lando finds himself drawn deeper into the mystery and allure of Gemma's life, contemplating the possibility of reconnecting with her beyond the confines of a single night.
“She is quite pretty.” Max concludes as he tries to sneak a glance at the screen.
“Gemma Mayfield.” Lando adds. “I didn’t even get her last name, if I’m being honest.”
“Why don’t you follow her and see what happens?” Max suggests.
Lando nods and pulls up Gemma’s Instagram account on his own phone and clicks on the follow button.
As Gemma enjoys brunch with her girlfriends, the animated chatter and laughter fill the air. Amidst the delightful ambiance, her phone emits a soft notification sound, capturing her attention. She unlocks her phone, curious about the interruption, and opens Instagram to find a new follower notification.
To her surprise, she sees Lando's name on the screen, signalling that he has just started following her. The realisation brings a spark of intrigue to Gemma's eyes, a subtle but undeniable acknowledgment of the connection forged during that unforgettable night. The familiar features of Lando's profile picture and the digital confirmation of his interest draw her into a moment of contemplation, wondering what this unexpected digital connection might signify and where it could lead.
Her friends, oblivious to the Instagram notification, continue their lively brunch conversation as Gemma, with a hint of a smile playing on her lips, delves into the exploration of this newfound connection that bridges the gap between their worlds, even if only in the virtual realm.
“Why is Lando Norris following you?” Ashley, Gemma’s friend, asks as she peers at Gemma’s phone.
“We met last week at the gala.” Gemma explains and locks her screen again.
“A week ago and he still remembers your name?” Ashley retorts.
“Don’t be silly.” Gemma chuckles.
“Clearly you made an impression.” Her friend comments as they sip their mimosas.
“It’s probably just my panties on his dresser reminding him about me, nothing else.”
“Excuse me?” Ashley gasps. “Your panties?”
“We hooked up. Nothing special.” Gemma shrugs.
“You slept with Lando Norris, the Lando Norris.” Ashley states in disbelief.
“It’s not a big deal. We were drunk and fooling around. We said it would be a one night thing.” Gemma explains.
“Yeah, one night thing, but now he’s all up on your Instagram and probably looking at all your posts so he can see you again.” Ashley counters.
“Is that weird? For like a hook-up to follow you on Instagram?” Gemma wonders.
“It's a little weird, but maybe he likes you and is trying to get your attention.” Ashley responds. “Follow him back and see what happens.”
“Did you forget about the fact that I’ve just come out of a relationship? I can’t open myself up to someone only to get hurt again.” Gemma counters.
“Babe, Lucas never loved you the way you deserved. Maybe it’s time to acknowledge the signs that are very much there and take a leap of faith.” Ashley suggests.
Their conversation is interrupted by Gemma's phone ringing from an unknown number. Excusing herself from the table, Gemma heads to a quieter spot to answer the call, leaving Ashley with a lingering sense of curiosity about the unfolding dynamics between Gemma and the famous Formula 1 driver.
“Gemma speaking, hello.” She speaks into the phone.
“Hi, Gemma. This is Zak Brown.” Zak replies. “I hope you’re well.”
“Mr Brown. I’m doing well, thank you. I hope you are too.”
“Oh, I could be better. That’s why I’m calling.” Zak states.
“How can I assist, sir?” Gemma asks, confused and still surprised by the caller.
“One of Oscar’s trackside data analysts has unfortunately fallen ill and won’t be able to work for the foreseeable future. We’ve heard some great reviews on your work back at the factory and were wondering if you’d be up to join us in the paddock starting in Bahrain?” Zak proposes. “With all travel and accommodation costs covered. And, a salary increase, of course.”
“That’s very unexpected.” Gemma breathes.
“I thought it would be. I’ll have my assistant email you the contract and you can let us know what your decision is, but we’ll need to know by tomorrow morning so we can make the necessary arrangements.” Zak explains.
“Thank you, I’ll keep an eye out for that.” Gemma agrees.
They end the phone call and Gemma returns to her friends. Ashley shoots her a questioning look.
“They want me to work trackside.” Gemma tells Ashley.
“See, signs. Everywhere. Just signs. This is your time to shine, Gem-bug.” Ashley responds, her excitement evident.
When Gemma returns to her apartment, she grabs her laptop and easily finds the email with the contract in her inbox. She prints it out and reads through it. After pacing around her living room for a few hours reading and rereading the contract, she digitally signs the contract and emails it back to Zak’s assistant.
The following morning, she receives her plane tickets and itinerary for the Bahrain Grand Prix just a week away. She sits on the couch in her small apartment and realises that she’ll have to face Lando at some point and decides to follow him back on Instagram. She knows it was her idea for their exchange to be a one night thing only, but not even her ex-boyfriend was so kind and gentle with her like Lando was. She could still feel his fingers and his kisses on her skin when doing simple things around her apartment like washing up the dishes or doing the laundry. For the first time that night, she was looked after as opposed to being the one looking after those around her.
#lando norris#formula 1#lando norris fic#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smut#lando norris imagine#mclaren#mclaren f1#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#ln4#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4 fluff
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Do you think Toya ever had a chance? I feel like his descent into villainy as Dabi was inevitable, I know he has the equivalent of a Quirk disability but I feel maybe it wasn't meant to work like his father's Quirk but in a different way.
I wished Toya had the chance to go back home but Horikoshi pulled a cruel fate on us.
I didn't want Toya to be saved this way, it felt too late and he will always be seen as his family's regret and failure because he is the cruel reminder to everyone that this family was a mistake, nothing but a Quirk experiment.
He can never be seen as anything other than a mistake or regret to make up for out of guilt. I know his family is here now, but it feels more out of obligation more than anything.
I have a few thoughts about how disability is framed in BNHA but I'll reserve my thoughts until after the manga is officially over. I'm not sure if you've read my other posts, but I'm optimistic that Touya's fate isn't to die. I'm not going to entertain doom and gloom on my blog. I'm finding that spiraling is influencing others to think the worst of the worst and causing unnecessary heartache and anxiety. I'm not saying others can't spiral - just don't do it on my blog.
I don't agree with the idea that the family thinks of Touya as a mistake - where does the manga indicate the family thinks his existence was a mistake? Can you show me the panels? No, because they don't exist.
In 301-302, it's plainly stated that the family thinks Dabi was born out of Endeavor's ambition and selfishness and failure as a father. The other children were quirk experiments too, but Rei and even Endeavor NEVER state regret about starting a family - they don't regret their kids. They regret hurting their kids, but they don't regret bringing them into this world. Not once has Rei or Enji stated they regret Touya being born. Neither have the siblings.
The regret the family feels isn't that he exists, but that they feel they failed him in some way - Rei and Enji as parents, Natsuo and Fuyumi as siblings (even though it wasn't their fault at all.) It's only natural to feel responsible and guilty for your loved one's downward spiral and feel like you could have done more if you had known what would have happened (See: Spinner in 427).
The Todorokis love Touya unconditionally (although it was hard to show that during their childhood because of the abuse). That's why they united to stop him, why they united to come see him at the hospital, and that's why they want to talk to him and have SO much to discuss. Touya is literally shivering and his heart rate is speeding up from the happiness of finally feeling wanted and seen now that his family is at his bedside.
They're literally saying, "Tell me all your thoughts. I want to know. I want to be with you."
He's a hated criminal now - BUT they're not abandoning him. They're facing hell right now because of what he did but they're not forsaking him or distancing themselves to save themselves from the public's damnation. They WANT to be with Touya, even if it'll be difficult. They could have easily left him, deserted him, forsaken him, turned their backs, washed their hands clean of him - much like Hawks and his mother distanced themselves from his father.
But the Todorokis HAVEN'T spurned Touya, and WON'T. That's what they're conveying by being at his bedside and telling him they want to talk to him. Nothing he can do can make them stop wanting him. Sure, there might be some resentment and hurt feelings, but that doesn't negate unconditional love.
Horikoshi went out of his way to make each Todoroki family member state they were present in Touya's room because they wanted to be there. "We're not all here out of a sense of duty" = we're all here because we want to be. If reading 426 didn't convince you of that, you might want to step back and reread a few more times.
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There is No Part of My Heart That Doesn’t Belong to You:
Buck’s been standing in Tommy’s garage for five minutes already, waiting for Tommy to say whatever it is that he’d called Buck to come over for..simply saying “I need to discuss something with you”
Currently, Tommy is under the hood of the Pontiac GTO, his attention locked in on the engine beneath his hands. Every minute that passes is making Buck edgier..
When Tommy finally breaks the silence and says “Evan—“
Buck cuts him off “Before you say whatever you’re going to say. If you asked me over here to fucking tell me again that I don’t know what I’m doing. I will…” Buck pauses “do something..” he finishes with palpable frustration.
Tommy looks around the hood of the car and arches his brow “Do..something?”
“Yes…I mean you know Muy Thai so you can probably kick my ass in a fight”
“Definitely” Tommy agrees wryly “I wouldn’t though”
“I will find something” Bucks continues evenly Something that you are NOT ridiculously good at and I would pummel you at it, and then I will bring you home and I fuck you into the mattress until you accept that I am yours, and you were always meant to be mine” Bucks jaw tic’s with exasperation and determination. His words a dark carnal promise.
Tommy stands up, his full attention on Buck and his words. “Now that’s incentive” he breathes “I’m not opposed to any part of that actually” His gaze hot, and like a heavy caress as they flick up Bucks body. “I can’t imagine it will be that hard” he drags that last word out. “I mean, I can fix things and I can fly helicopters. Not exactly that impressive”
“Stop” Bucks snaps “Don’t do that. Don’t make it sound like the only things that you ARE, are the things that you DO. You are worth so much more to me beyond those things. And stop distracting me by being so….fucking hot” Buck adds with a scowl.
“You started it” Tommy points out.
“I am not as green as you seem to think, I have lived a good life” Buck throws his hands up in the air “Everything I have ever wanted to do, I have done. So if you’re waiting for me to give up on you Tommy Kinard. It won’t happen.” He says stubbornly. “One thing I know, is that there isn’t a place on earth, you can’t get into with enough patience and the right tools. And that includes your heart. And I will not stop until it’s mine” Evans blue eyes blaze. His jaw set and his feet planted like he will bulldoze through any obstacle in his way.
But Tommy hears the tremor under the bravado. And it breaks his heart that he has made this man question his feelings for him.
“Evan” Tommy says softly “It already is”
“I mean it” Buck continues “I won’t let you throw what we have..throw US away”
Tommy interrupts “I’m not” he says firmly.
Buck stops and nods to indicate he is listening, gesturing for Tommy to continue.
“Evan, from the moment you sat across from me at that table with that awful cup of coffee, just..” Tommy cards his fingers through his hair in an uncharacteristic sign of nervousness “So ridiculously real..telling me you didn’t know what you were ready for..” He exhales as he closes the distance between them “Turns out it wasn’t you that wasn’t ready..it was me”
Evan’s shoulder’s stiffen, but his gaze remains locked on Tommy.
“I was so not ready for what you would come to mean to me. How loving you and being loved by you would..change everything” his rueful laugh is like an intimate caress as he pulls Buck toward him, wrapping him in his arms and breathing him in until his lung are filled with his scent, with him. “And it scared the shit out of me. Until someone much smarter than me put into words what I’ve known since that minute I kissed you that first time..The world should be full of Evan Buckley’s. But it isn’t…I have the only one” his breath catches and something raw and feral fills his voice as he says “So there isn’t a chance in hell I’m throwing you, or us away”
Evan’s whole body shudders as he relaxes into Tommy’s embrace “Well, it’s about damn time” he mutters.
Sliding his hand to his nape, Tommy guide’s Evan lips to his and claims his mouth for an achingly tender and possessive kiss. Pulling back just enough, he whispers against Bucks lips “There isn’t a part of my heart that doesn’t already belong to you Evan Buckley”
Evan buries his face in Tommy’s neck, wrapping his arms around Tommy as they stand wordlessly holding on to each other.
Buck pulls back just enough to ask “So then what is it you wanted to talk to me about?”
With a small shake of his head Tommy whispers “It can wait” and he presses hot open mouthed kisses against Evans throat.
“No. No more waiting. Just hit me with it. Rip the band-aid off”
Tommy groans..searches Bucks face and then with a nod and pinking cheeks he steps out of Bucks arms and walks over to his workbench and picks up a wrapped package there and hands it to Buck.
Buck looks at it. It a lumpy and misshapen, and he opens it with curiousity. He looks down at it sitting in his palm. It’s a keychain. A beautiful stylized metal.
“You made this?” Buck asks. At Tommy’s nod he turns it over a couple of times in his hand “What does it say ‘Evan’?” He looks back up at Tommy.
Tommy shakes his head and turns it around “you have it upside down”
Evan looks down at it as Tommy says “It says Home”. His voice is rough and vulnerable as his hand covers Bucks, his thumb tracing small circles on his wrist “It’s a key, to my house, to this house” Tommy pauses and raises his eyes to Bucks “I want to wake up next to you every morning for as long as I can. So this is an invitation, and a promise, you will always have a place here. If you want it..”
“Yes” Buck whispers and then repeats “Yes” as he crushes his mouth to Tommy’s, a hundred emotions crashing through him as that word echoes, and then settles and takes root deep in his core.
home..
#buck finally found his home#and he’s going to fight to keep it#there is only one evan buckley and he belongs to tommy kinard#tommy has a gto and it is fire#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#buck x tommy#evan x tommy#bucktommy#kinley#911 fic#wrote this on my phone#tevan
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The On1y One's ending is pre-empting you for a reunion, there is hope for the future
Can you believe, I sat down with my father for his advice on this. I must disclaim, I am an English-language user, but I know enough Mandarin to get by. Together with my father and Baidu, and after thinking about this for a few nights, my thoughts on that… the ending is hopeful – but bittersweet
The literature teacher starts off Episode 11 with the reciting of the poem 江城子 (Melody of a River Town) by Su Shi (otherwise, Su Dongpo) translations for this poem is taken from this site
十年生死兩茫茫。Ten years of separation by the immeasurable distance between life and death
不思量, 自難忘。 Is not something I'd like to think about, yet unforgettable it is already.
千里孤墳, A thousands miles away is your lonely grave,
無處話淒涼, I've nowhere to visit and my grief express.
縱使相逢應不識,Even if we could meet, we probably wouldn't each other recognise,
塵滿面,鬢如霜。For my faces has aged and my sideburns greyed as I have life's hardship sustained.
The teacher continues:
這就傳達了一種經過時間的滄桑 This expresses the inevitable change in the circumstances of life
再見面時 When we meet again
卻已幽冥兩隔的哀戚 We have already mourned our separation because of life and death
At this point, the teacher asks if the students understand. At my first watch, I’m going what the ever loving HECK (we were taught Mandarin for usage, not literature interpretation). My Mandarin is not even Taiwanese high school level, so I had to go study. Anyway!
The second part of the poem they do not go through in the show, is following,
夜來幽夢忽還。Last night out of the blue I dreamt of homecoming,
小軒窗,正梳妝。And there you were, putting on make-up after combing your hair.
相顧無言,Our eyes meet yet reticent we remained,
惟有淚千行。Yet rolling down our cheeks are tears forming far too many trails.
料得年年腸斷處,Then I realise we are where I'd visit year after year when my heart aches
明月夜,短松。On a night with a bright moon, on the hillock, among the pine saplings I'd stay.
Director Liu has indicated- instead of a 6 year separation according to the book (which I am TRYING to read; emphasis, trying), they have changed it to a ten year period. Su Shi wrote this poem 10 years after the death of his first wife, who died at the age of 17, exactly the age that the boys are now. It means the boys' separation, according to the poem, is inevitable. This pain, will be inevitable too, as Su Shi was known to be very affected by the loss of his first wife
Notice that the poem also states the night with a bright moon- this probably leads to the next part of the show, where Jiang Tian tells Sheng Wang that he chooses the moon.
But the teacher follows up with asking Jiang Tian to explain what the idiom 破鏡重圓 means. (Note: when I asked my Dad his interpretation of it, his first words, 'this idiom is not for just anybody getting back together, it is meant for husbands and wives, you know that, right?' and I swear I disassociated for a moment)
Jiang Tian notes well- it is the story of Le Chang, a princess from the dying Chen Dynasty. Seeing that the country is at war, her husband Xu Deyan tells her, as she is a great beauty, after the war is lost, they are bound to be separated as she will be given or taken as a spoil of war by the invaders. He tells her that if they both survive the war, there will be a chance that they can meet again. He breaks a bronze mirror and tells her on the fifth 元宵节 (fifteenth day of the first lunar month) after the loss of the war, to bring the mirror out and pretend to sell it- he will look for her amongst the vendors, so that they will have a chance to meet again.
After the war, Le Chang princess indeed is taken away and the lovers separated. Every year on the agreed date, Xu Deyan takes his half of the mirror and goes to sell it, and as he traverses the vendors, one year he finds a servant selling the other half, and it was then that he finds out that Le Chang is now a concubine of a ranking official of the new dynasty. In sadness, Xu Deyan writes a poem on it and gives his half to the servant.
Jiang Tian continues as the light gets brighter behind him, and his explanation is the content of the poem that Xu Deyan wrote to his wife in the half of his bronze mirror
可是這個美好故事的背後 But behind this beautiful story
卻有很深的意思 There is a deep meaning
在他們無法詳見的幾十年 In the decades that they were unable to meet
他們只能看著鏡子 They could only look at the mirror
思念當初美好的對方 And miss the other beautiful partner
團員後 Even after the reunion
在鏡中 In the Mirror
我再也看不到你當初嫦娥版的倩影 I can no longer see your Chang-Er like silhouette
只留下歲月映照後 Only leaving the impression left behind by the years
淒涼的月光 A desolate moonlight
GUYS, c’mon man I’m dying at this point. This mirrors the poem that Xu Deyan wrote to Le Chang on the mirror
鏡與人俱去,鏡歸人未歸。無復嫦娥影,空留明月輝
The mirror goes away with the person, but the mirror returns without the person. Chang'er's shadow is gone, the bright moon remains in the sky (this is from Google translate, don't come at me LOL, but you get the gist)
And perhaps they are saying now, that even reunited 10 years later, it will not be the same- you and I, will not be the same, and we will have this pain of separation be an impression on our lives in the future.
The story is psyching us up for the 10-year separation coming up ahead in the nerd-iest way and I’m still dying here please
And it’s JIANG TIAN that says this, in his glasses, and wearing his vest, the curtains of the room drawn leaving only 1 source of light behind him. He takes off his glasses at the end- two lenses signifying 2 halves of the mirror, perhaps???
The ending of the story is- the mirror is returned to Le Chang princess by her servant, and after receiving it, she goes into a turmoil so deep she doesn't eat or sleep or even wash. Her new husband, after hearing the news, allows her to return to Xu Deyan. Her new husband summons Xu Deyan to the residence and the lovers are reunited, at which he says 破鏡重圓 (literally- the broken mirror, has become whole again) - could this be a hint that any opposition to their relationship will finally be relented after a forced separation?
Of course in the later ensuring conversation, Jiang Tian expresses that he chooses the moon (ie, Sheng Wang)
Perhaps like Xu Deyan, he has already made up his mind, or prepared for the inevitable separation. I will wait for you, and not only that, I will find a way that we will be back together again.
At the end of Episode 12, another Su Shi poem appears (translations from here
山頭斜照卻相迎 The setting sun (slanting) over the mountain offers greetings still
回首向來蕭瑟處 Looking back over the bleak passage survived
歸去The return in time
也無風雨也無晴 Shall not be affected by windswept rain or shine
THE RETURN IN TIME SHALL NOT BE AFFECTED BY WINDSWEPT RAIN OR SHINE and it’s RAINING OUTSIDE THE CLASSROOM (lying on the ground in a puddle, POETRY)
I’m also going to link the Baidu article for this poem (if you wish to translate it for a read), but basically, the poem expresses the author returning after a drinking session when it starts to rain, and when everyone is rushing to return and to look for shelter, he takes his time going back. The teacher continues with the explanation of this -
這些日子他被流放到外地 In the days where he was in exile
寫下抒發自己內心的文字 he wrote down the feelings he had in his heart
他表示他不會害怕 He expressed that he would not be afraid
他會勇往直前 He will forge bravely ahead
且不會畏懼 and without fear
他也很期待 He also looks forward
回去的日子to the day he will return
And here, they focus on Jiang Tian tying the broken bracelet back and pronouncing that he will wait for Sheng Wang’s return.
The rain outside the window is the beginning of the separation! The bleak passage survived from the poem!
To match this poem, the POV changes to Sheng Wang
暗戀是一個人的兵荒馬亂 To be secretly in love with someone is a turmoil (the idiom 兵荒馬亂 literally translates to soldiers in a panic and horses in a mess – the war/fortress analogy is BACKKK)
因為太喜歡你 Because I like you so much
所以我如臨深淵 如履薄冰 I feel like I am facing a deep abyss, like walking on thin ice (the pure linguistic poetry of this line, it kills me)
以至於差點忘了 to the point I almost forgot
我17歲了I’m 17
這個年紀裡 整個世界都是我的 At this age, the world is my oyster
不需要猶豫 No need for hesitation
也用不著權衡 And I don’t have to compromise
我無堅不摧 I’m indestructible
也無所不能 And there’s nothing I can’t do
And the entire dialogue ends with Jiang Tian's voice asking Sheng Wang, Can you try to pass the test and return?
And Sheng Wang says Yes
Is it the test for returning to Class A, or is it the test of the NEXT TEN YEARS?
#the on1y one#某某#i will never stop nerding about this#the nuance and the preparation for season 2#i truly hope it happens!
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Since everyone's been so nice about the other snippet I posted 👉👈 here are the good bits from sth else with the warden squad I wrote last year (since I might never get around to sprucing up the long and boring bits). Right after Lothering before anyone involved knows how to get along with each other so they're all kind of just standing around being assholes 🩷
—
"Not to catastrophize," Alistair says, to nobody in particular, "but when they find their way back and inform us with deep regret that they have no idea where we are or where we're going and we all die in the woods after wandering in circles for weeks, I'm going to say 'I told you so'."
"That's not going to happen."
Alistair twists around to gawk at Sten. The Qunari soldier has been standing at the outskirts of the group, stone-faced and completely unmoving—as far as Alistair can tell—since they paused their slow march through the woods.
"I think that's the first thing I've heard you say all day," he says incredulously. "Humor me. Why won't it?"
"Because in this scenario you've crafted in your mind, you'll be too dead to say 'I told you so'."
"They'll be my dying words," Alistair insists. "As I lay dying in the underbrush I'll croak, 'I told you this is exactly how it would happen, Sten,' and then I'll perish on the spot. See if I don't."
"I look forward to it," Sten says. "At least then you'll be quiet."
"It'll be a touching moment," Alistair says, settling back down into his seat at the base of a tree and staring up into the canopy, "and you'll miss me when I'm gone. You'll see."
"If it will make you feel any better," Zevran pipes up from his seat on low branch a short distance away, "if the end does come—which I very much doubt, mind, given what a capable group you have assembled here—I can swear that I will ensure you a swift and dignified death."
"Absolutely not," Alistair growls.
"My apologies," Zevran says mildly, as he has found himself doing not infrequently over the last few days since his initial ill-fated encounter with the wardens. "The offer was meant with no ill intent."
"Do not stab me."
—
"What's that?" Micah asks, pointing upward. Alistair and Rafael crane their heads to look at the rustling tree branch she's indicated.
"That, my dear, is another squirrel," Zevran says.
"Squirrel," she repeats under her breath.
"Don't have squirrels in Orzammar?" Alistair says, conversationally.
"We've got nugs," Micah says. "And moles. Mice. Deepstalkers. No squirrels."
"I guess everywhere has mice," Rafael muses.
"The one thing that unites us despite all our differences," Alistair agrees. "Mice in the larder. Hey, Sten, do Qunari have–"
"They're returning," Sten interrupts, nodding curtly in the direction of more rustling brush, where glimpses of Leliana's pale skin and vivid red hair can be caught through the trees.
The mabari crashes out of the underbrush first, panting and wiggling with an excess of excitement. A few moments later, the rest of the wayward scouts rejoin the waiting party.
"We have determined the proper course to reach our destination, and located a camp site for the night," Morrigan announces. "No need to thank us."
"And we saw the fattest squirrel I've ever seen in my life," Leliana adds cheerfully. The dog barks in agreement.
Morrigan sighs. "Yes. And—more importantly—a sight which has never before been witnessed by man nor beast. A fat squirrel. Again, no need to–"
—
"Could you tell if something is possessed by a spirit?" she asks.
The young mage twists the cuffs of his sleeves between his fingers, chewing on his lip. "I– I should be able to," he says. "Yes. I– Yes, I can do that."
"Spoken with remarkable confidence," Morrigan says dryly, earning her a reproachful glare from Alistair.
"Not all that many haunted trees in the middle of the lake, I'd think," he says.
"There was a cat, once," Rafael says, "that got possessed by a demon and went on a rampage through the tower. It killed three templars before they brought it down."
"Ah, 'tis a heartwarming tale that would bring a smile to anyone's face, would it not?"
The mabari huffs and snorts in response.
"Aw, I bet a nasty demon cat would be no match for you," Alistair says, crouching to scratch the pleased mabari vigorously behind the ears. "Isn't that right, Barkspawn? Because you're a good boy! Yes you are!"
"We weren't allowed to have cats in the tower after that," Rafael mutters in conclusion.
"Not allowed," Morrigan repeats derisively. "'Tis a wonder that anything would be allowed to begin with."
"For the mice," Rafael says glumly.
Alistair extricates himself with some effort from the wet, sloppy kisses the mabari is determined to plant all over his face. "Did you get demon mice after that?" he asks, with the gleeful tone of someone who has only just considered the possibility of demon mice and finds it funnier than they probably should.
—
As they fall into line behind the Dalish elf, Micah muses aloud to no one in particular, "So, I'm not entirely sure what a cat is."
Eydis snorts derisively. "It's a surface animal with four legs and a tail. I've been here as long as you have. How do you not know that?"
"Excuse me?" Micah snaps. "You just described every surface animal. They all have four legs and a tail. Or they're birds."
"It's got fur."
"They've all got fur. You're just describing the dog."
The dog in question barks.
"Smaller than the dog. And with a fluffy tail."
"That's squirrels."
"Bigger than squirrels," Eydis huffs. "They were all over the human settlements. Pay more attention next time, brand."
"Watch it, salroka," Micah growls.
"Perhaps I could draw some pictures tonight," Leliana says appeasingly.
"Perhaps you should write a song in memory of the princess, in case I finally kill her tonight."
"Don't be so sensitive," Eydis chastises.
"I've been lead to understand that we are all strictly forbidden from killing each other here," Zevran interrupts cheerfully, "or is that just me?"
"Do not stab me," Alistair repeats.
"I swear on my life," Zevran says, "I will make no attempt to harm you unless I am paid a great deal more coin and I have reason to understand that forsaking your company would be to my overall benefit. Neither of which I forsee happening in the middle of a haunted forest. Perhaps that may set your mind at ease?"
"That doesn't set my mind at ease! Why would that make me feel better?"
"Because I am being extremely honest right now," Zevran says. "Unless you would prefer I lie?"
"I would not."
"Nobody is killing anybody," Leliana says.
"Only a fool would do the work of his enemy for him," Sten says.
"Oh! That's very wise, Sten."
"It is not. It's common sense."
#oc blab#rafael#micah brosca#eydis aeducan#can't tag sulina she's not in ANY of the good bits lmao#sir not appearing in these excerpts
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{Flatline} OFC x Harvey Specter {Pt. 3)
Uh ohhhh guys it’s Pt. 3 🤭🤭🤭 I am so excited for this. It’s honestly one of my favorite things I’ve written and I hope you all agree. There is a poll at the end so make sure to vote for that <3 enjooyyyyy p.s. I hope this does good justice for this series.
Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Character Playlist
Word Count: 12,795
Warnings: language, angst, anxious thoughts, one singular mention of sexual h*r*ssm*nt in regards to Harvey’s actions with Claudia, smut 18+, the tiniest bit of food play, dom/sub dynamics, praise kink go brrr
***Italic sections indicate flashbacks***
Summary: The aftermath of Harvey breaking his promise to Claudia.
Tagging: @rosedpetal @maxdamax @ashcosmo
~~~~~~
HARVEY'S POV
My legs were numb. That sort of numbness when something happens that you can’t explain. It felt like my life just flashed before my eyes. That image of Claudia’s shaking lip… hearing her broken voice… I don’t think I’ll ever get it out of my fucking head.
“Harvey, I requested those trades be made an hour ago. Do you wanna tell me why… Harvey?”
I could see Jessica in front of me, but I couldn’t hear a damn thing she said.
“Harvey, what’s going on?” She closed the door, and I put a hand out to steady myself so I wouldn’t fall on the floor. “What happened?” “I fucked up,” I whispered.
“Yeah, no shit. You tanked our only opportunity to get a leg up on this Gustoson case. You’re damn right you fucked up-”
“No no,” I sat on the arm of the chair. My hands began to shake so I folded them together. Jessica saw.
“What the hell did you do?”
“I yelled at Claudia…”
She just blinked at me. “Is that seriously what you’re concerned about? Yelling at an associate? Okay, you yelled at an associate, what’s new? That might as well be in your job description.”
“No no no I didn’t just yell at her I threatened to do the one thing that I promised I would never do and now she’s gone. She left. I can’t- I don’t- I never meant to hurt her but she suggested that we file a motion to dismiss and I got so caught up in my anger about her accusing me of using her that I lost my-”
“Using her? Harvey, what is going on?” “I’ll tell you what’s going on,” Donna barged in.
“Donna please don’t-”
“Harvey and Claudia have been ‘working together’ for the last month and a half, when in reality he has been a selfish, lying, arrogant brat who has crossed so many lines it’s beginning to look like a Rorschach Test.”
“You know?” I felt my heart suffocate myself. I thought I was gonna throw up.
“In all honesty Harvey, no I didn’t. Not until Claudia just broke down in the elevator and told me everything. I cannot believe that you would use her like that. For your own personal satisfaction are you out of your fucking mind?” “Harvey, what the hell is she talking about?” Jessica’s voice was full of hostility.
“He thought that it would be a good idea to boost Claudia’s confidence by getting into her pants.”
“Donna it wasn’t-”
Jessica scoffed, covering her face. “What the hell is wrong with you? This has got sexual harassment written all over it, Havrey. Could you really be that delusional?”
“For fucks sake it wasn’t like that!” I screamed. Genuinely screamed and paced around. “I didn’t use her, not intentionally. God dammit I haven't been able to think clearly since the first day that I saw Claudia. She is an incredible lawyer and all I wanted to do was give her something else to focus on because she was afraid to be in a room with me. I just- all I wanted to do was help her find a little bit of confidence and oh my god this sounds so much worse when I say it outloud.”
Donna and Jessica exchanged a look while I slowly felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and stomped on the floor with cleats.
“Okay Harvey, sit down and tell us what happened,” Donna steered me away from putting a hole in the wall to my desk.
“I don’t even know, Donna.” “Well while you two enjoy going down memory lane, I’ll be fighting for our firm's life. If you two don’t get your shit together, and by you two I mean Harvey, then… I don’t even know then.”
She all but slammed the door on her way out, patrons on the other side sending worried glances our way. I turned my chair so they wouldn’t see me.
“How long has this been going on?” Donna asked.
I dug my nails into my skin. “Almost two months.”
“Two months? Harvey, how could you not tell me?” “Because I didn’t want to,” I admitted. “And partly because I kind of thought you already knew. You know, the whole ‘Donna superpower’ shit you do.”
“I know I can’t believe I missed it,” she took the chair in front of me. I glared at her so hard I thought I’d light that hair of hers on fire. “Okay bad time for a joke. So, bachelor, why don’t you start from the beginning. And please, I don’t need to know the dirty details, despite my curiosity. Claudia is like a little sister to me and I really don’t want to picture you and her and oh my god I already am. Ugh, please start talking so I don’t have to be tortured.”
So dramatic. I was good looking, and so was Claudia. Why wouldn’t anyone want to picture us together? Then my eyes snapped to the chair she was sitting on. Oh god. Donna was in the chair that I was the first time Claudia and I-
“Get up,” I blurted out, reaching for her and placing her in my desk chair. God dammit we used that one too. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
We sat down on the couch and I rubbed my strained eyes. Here goes nothing.
“When Sheila first sent over the recruits from Harvard, I interviewed all of them. Except for one. There were thirteen associates but I only had twelve meetings set up. So I asked Louis if he was interviewing any of the newbies and he said just one. Obviously this person was some sort of idiot to be going to Louis instead of me, so I popped in.”
“Well, Claudia I think that you have some unbelievable potential at this firm and I’d just like to- Harvey, what are you doing here I am in the middle of an interview.”
“Oh I know, I just wanted to drop by and see how it was going.”
In front of Louis was this warm, chestnut brown head of sleek, silk like hair. She was wearing a lavender blouse and a black maxi skirt with a slit to the knee. She had on these black flats with pearls on them. Summer had just ended, and there was some remaining sunburn on her nose and cheeks. Her eyes were surrounded by prominent lashes and eyebrows, a fine line of makeup between the two; lavender, to match the top.
“It’s going great, now will you get the hell out and tend to your own interviews and stop barging in on my only one?”
“Harvey Specter,” I introduced, sticking out my hand. She looked from it over to Louis, who was just shooting me daggers.
“You just can’t help yourself, can you?”“Louis, I’m not trying to woo your associate, I’m just introducing myself to her. We are kind of name partners, you know. It’s the courteous thing to do.”
Again, all she did was look at my hand before slowly standing up. I didn’t miss the way she tried to subtly wipe her hand on her skirt.
“I’m Claudia. Claudia Martin.”
God dammit that was a pretty name. It sounded so sophisticated, so mature and would sound really nice next to mine. Or with mine. Harvey Specter and Claudia Martin. I don’t know why I thought of hearing or seeing ‘Claudia Specter’ one day, but I did. And I didn’t hate the way it sounded.
“Welcome to Pearson Specter Litt,” I gave a nice smile. It was clear she was already intimidated to be here, I didn’t need to add to that fire. She barely looked me in the eye for two seconds, but those two seconds made my head spin.
She had the most gorgeous eyes I think I’ve ever seen in my life. They were amber in the middle but had this ring of hazel around the outer rim. It was just… not something I’ve ever seen before. I didn’t want her to look away because I just wanted to keep looking at them.
And that blush… that I knew wasn’t her sunburn. Not the way it creeped up the side of her face, or at the base of her neck.
Jesus Harvey, stop staring at her. You’re probably giving off major stalker vibes.
“Well I’ll be around if you need anything, Claudia. Don’t be shy,” I smiled, the best charming one I could. Her full lips were in a tight line, her fingers picking at each other before she sat back down with Louis.
“Okay so you sabotaged Louis’ meeting with Claudia and thought she was beautiful? Why didn’t you just say that?” Donna interrupted.
“Didn’t you ask me to start from the beginning?” She snapped her lips closed. “So let me tell the goddamn story. Yes, I thought she was stunning. I mean, no one in their right mind would think otherwise. She is so pretty and so smart and twice the person I wish I could be. There is just something about her that I can’t shake from my memory.”
“Yeah we get it, you’re head over heels for Claudia. Now on with it I don’t have all day.”
I rolled my eyes.
“That was the first time I met her. It wasn’t long after that she started working here when I talked to her again. She was just sitting at her desk, Griffin and whoever else crowded around the opposite end of the bullpen. She was excluded and it made me feel bad.”
I’ve always thought Griffin would be at the top of my list for top associates. He was like me; only shorter, not as good looking, and had blue eyes instead of brown. Did I mention he wasn’t as good looking? Anyway, I had only one intention: get Claudia alone so I could talk to her.
Every day since she started a few weeks ago, I have watched her get off the elevator, walk through the office, and disappear around the corner. It wasn’t fair that she got to look like that, walk like that, and no one was around to appreciate it.
She was so fucking eye catching. And I didn’t want the other slobs at this firm to get to her before I could.
“Claudia, do you mind helping me with something for a few minutes?” I asked, voice just loud enough for Griffin to hear.
She looked up, pen cap between her rosy lips, and blinked. That flush creeped onto her cheeks. I tried not to smile.
“Sure,” she nodded once and stood up, following me out.
I was not so subtle with the look that I gave Griffin, and he wasn’t so subtle with the way he spoke.
“Is there something you need, Harvey? Claudia is in the middle of a very important depo documentation. I’d hate for her to fall behind.”
What a dick. “No, Griffin. It seems like you’ve got more important things to do with your book club than working on whatever Louis assigned you, so Claudia will work just fine. I prefer an actually hard working associate to someone who’s discussing whatever mediocre steak dinner you had at Texas Roadhouse last Wednesday.”
“Griffin’s eyes simmered and shot daggers into Claudia. But he didn’t open his mouth. I thought about punching him in the face for looking at her like that, and that’s when I realized I was fucked. That I was willing to do that for Claudia when it was literally the second time I’ve ever talked to her.”
“I’ll say,” Donna huffed. “What happened next?” “I just had her deliver some letters for me to the courthouse. I asked her something about Griffin, if they were ever acquainted with each other.”
“And what did she say?”
“She told me that Griffin was a total douchebag and tried to use his social status to get a leg up on her in class discussions, cutting corners to discredit her. It was so unfair and I just-”
Donna put a hand on my knee. “Relax, Harvey. Griffin isn’t here, stop looking like you want to put him through a wall.” “Well, Donna, I do want to put him through a wall because he has been an asshole to Claudia for no other reason than she was good at her job. It makes me sick.”
“When did you start becoming so protective of her? I’ve never seen you like this with anyone other than Mike, Louis, Jessica and myself. You must… really really care about her.”
“I think it was during the mock trial. She was always off to the side, always attentive, but never spoke up. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over at her every once and a while to see if she wanted to be included. But she never did.”
“This case may seem simple, but the husband is a grade A asshole. He has done everything to cover his tracks and is gonna come at us with everything he’s got. Find me some evidence and make it good.”
They all branched off, heading this way and that. Claudia went to the only logical place, right to me.
“Hi, Mr. Specter-sir. I just have one question about-about the case if you’ve got a minute. If you have somewhere to be I understand and I can ask later,” she said quickly.
“Of course, what do you want to know?” I couldn’t help but think her stuttering was cute. I knew she was nervous, specifically around me; she always seemed so tense with me, so I made sure to always speak quietly and calmly with her.
“Was Mr. Saros the one who paid off that investment banker? Did the money come from his account directly or a different one?”
God she was so good. “It came from him and his wife’s joint account.”
Claudia had a slight grin to her lips, and she nodded before striding away. She was going to crack this wide open. I just knew it.
I went back to my office to wait it out, to see if any one could come up with an idea before Claudia. Before I knew it, it was three o'clock and I had a meeting to go to for another case Mike and I were working on. When we got in the car, Mike was looking at me with a knowing smile.
“What?”
He shook his head, “Nothing, just wondering how long you’re going to pretend you’re not in love with Claudia Martin.”
“The first year associate?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know who she is. I see you watch her like a starving animal every time she comes into the office. And every time she leaves. And every time she asks Donna something.”
Uh oh.
“Oh please, I have far better things to do than get involved with a first year.”
“You didn’t deny that you were in love with her.”
“Do you want to get smacked? Or I could kick you out of this car at sixty miles per hour, see how you like the taste of asphalt.” Mike did not know when to stop pushing my buttons.
“I think you just proved my theory.”
“What theory?”
“That you are in love and you are incredibly protective of Claudia. I heard about what you said to Griffin when he offered his help because Claudia was ‘too busy’. You know he pawned that work off to her, right?”
My eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched, as well as my fists. I fixed my gaze out the window and took some deep breaths. Jesus… he had a point. A huge point. God dammit I’m in trouble.
“Mike knew before I did?” Donna sounded mildly offended.
“Well, not really. I never told him what we were doing. But I did tell him that I liked her. And when he told me that Griffin was pawning off his work to Caudia it sent me into a spiral. Shit, Donna… I am in so deep with Claudia. I really fucked up. I mean really bad. I made a promise to her that I wouldn’t treat her like the other associates because she wasn’t like the other associates. She was Claudia. And Claudia was- is- so much better than the rest of them.” “Why would you make a promise like that if you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep it?” “I had every intention of keeping it, but then all the shit with started happening when Louis found out about Mike being a fraud and he took that fucking case with Gerard and I couldn’t hold it together.” “Why did you even make it in the first place?” Donna asked, but I really didn’t want to tell this story.
I sighed, the type of sigh that fills your whole body.
“I was going off on Griffin one day, for being an asshole to some of the other associates, about pawning off his work to Claudia and she saw.”
“Griffin, I don’t care whose idea it was. You were the one to destroy his work, so you’re going to face the consequences.”
“It was just a prank, the entire document wasn’t supposed to be deleted.”
“You think tampering with another associate’s work is a prank? I hope when you go home tonight you think long and hard about who you wanna be as a man because as of right now, there isn’t going to be anything for you to come back to tomorrow. And you better pray to whatever you believe in because if there’s one person you don’t want to make an enemy out of, it’s me. Do you understand that?”
He clenched his jax, shoving his hands in his pockets. “yes.”
“You are going to be Louis’ personal associate.”“No, no way you can make me work for that man. He’s a total airhead.”“Yes, he is, now you two have something to talk about. You can bond over your selfish, outrageous egotistical behavior, it’ll be just like looking in a mirror.”
“Harvey I’m-”
“I don’t care what you are Griffin. You have no right to treat the other associates like that, especially Claudia. If I ever catch wind of you throwing your work load on her again so help me God I will make sure it is the last thing you do at this firm.”
If my point wasn’t clear enough by my words, the look I gave him would certainly do. He left my office without another word and I followed his movements all the way. But my eyes met Claudia’s. And they were wide and panicked. She quickly scurried away, head down and steps fast. She looked so afraid.
She wasn’t afraid of me was she? I mean, all I had done was rip Griffin a new one for being an asshole. And he deserved it, Claudia would never do something to deserve that kind of lashing.
“And so I promised her. I fucking promised her that I would never flip out on her and then I went and did exactly. God Donna… I am so fucked up.”
Her slim hand rubbed up and down my shoulder, but I only wanted it to be Claudia’s. I wanted her right next to me so I could go through all of this with her and explain that it wasn’t just some fling. Not to me. Never to me. I never wanted it to be temporary, she was… she’s it for me.
The familiar prick crept into my eyes, my nose, and the tears fell. Donna has only seen me cry a handful of times, but never over a girl.
But Claudia wasn’t just some girl. She wasn’t just some hookup or some prize to be won. She was Claudia Martin. My Claudia. The quiet, shy first year associate I had worked so hard to get out of her shell. It wasn’t just for my pleasure, I truly didn’t want to see her fall behind just because she couldn’t ask me a question.
I saw that look in her eye; hunger and determination. Just like mine. I wanted it to shine brighter than her smile. Which was equally as devastating as her work in the courtroom. But I just wanted her to feel comfortable around me and I didn’t know what else to do. She was like a frightened baby deer around me. A constant nervous wreck at the drop of my name. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me, I wanted nothing more than to be a safe space for her.
And maybe it’s just because I’m an idiot, but I’m realizing now that maybe I’m the one who needed the safe place. To just have someone to go to all the time. To share all of my proud moments and sneak little kisses and touches here and there.
I need Claudia. I need her.
Maybe I took it too far. Started at the wrong place. I should’ve offered to take her out to dinner instead of inviting her up for a drink in my office after her first case. I shouldn’t have done it so backwards, and it kills me that I’m only drawing that connection now. Why couldn’t I have thought of that earlier? She would’ve been so much better off without all the backwards, fucked up shit that I did.
But it was so nice. To finally have the one thing I have been craving for so long. She was so soft, and she was so sweet under my touch and I couldn’t help myself. As soon as I first kissed her it was end game. I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. I wouldn’t ever kiss anyone again, not the way I kissed Claudia. More than lust. More than just a desire.
Her lips on mine made my head go blank. I had an awful habit of having work thoughts creep their way into my head every once in a while. But never with her. Even when we were only talking about work, I couldn’t think about it. I only thought about her. About how brilliant she was, about how soft and warm and perfect her lips were on mine. About how she always made me feel at ease and comforted. I doubt she could ever make anyone afraid. Except maybe an opposing counsel.
If I ever had to face her in court… I know I’d lose. For one, I’d give her anything she wanted simply because she could put me on my knees with a single look. And normally I’d hate to let a woman have that much control over me, but for Claudia… I’d let her do whatever she wanted. And Second, she knows what to do. All the time. She never misses a beat, and is always listening. Even when you think she isn’t.
I am so in love with Claudia. I felt my heart crack open. My voice more or less does the same.
“Harvey…” “I am in love with her, Donna. And I think I have been for a long time.”
She was quiet, and a throat cleared. Mike was there in front of me, his hands in his pockets, a look of worry on his face. “Is everything alright?”
I saw Donna shake her head out of the corner of my eye. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she wanted to.
“I broke my promise to Claudia.” That was all I said. I heard his sharp inhale, and he came and sat in front of us. “God dammit Mike… I really messed up. I hurt the one person I couldn’t afford to and- and I don’t know what to do.”
“Go talk to her,” Mike said. “If you’re serious about how you feel about Claudia, then you need to go tell her that it was never… whatever you were doing before. She has anxiety, Harvey. She is going to let her brain tell her things about you that aren’t true. And you need to be there to soothe the fire before it does irreversible damage.” “Well, what do you and Rachel do when you get into an argument?”
“Harvey,” Donna said, “You aren’t Mike, and Claudia isn’t Rachel. Whatever they do might not work for you. You need to do what feels right for you and your relationship.” “I don’t know if you know this Donna, but I haven’t done something like this before. I don’t know how to talk to her. How to not make her anxious around me.” “We’ll help you,” Mike nods, as well as Donna. “We can come up with a plan but right now we’ve got a bigger problem on our hands.” What could be more devastating than hurting Claudia?
Nothing. The answer was nothing.
____
CLAUDIA’S POV
I toed off my shoes, leaving them in the growing pile by my front door. I sighed at it. Why couldn’t they just put themselves away?
My splitting headache was doing nothing to help either.
Before I could even get a thought about what I could cook for dinner, the doorbell rang. I swear to god if Greg was here asking me about those flowers on my wreath again I was going to smack him with it, throw it over his head and shove him back inside his apartment and-
“Claudia, it’s Mike. I know you’re here, can we talk?”
Mike? What the hell is he doing here?
I seriously debated giving my best housekeeper impression and deadbolting the door. But it was Mike, and he hadn’t done anything to deserve a cold shoulder. Oh god, what if Harvey was with him and I was getting set up? Oh shit.
“No, Harvey isn’t with me. I promise.”
I stalked to the door, pulling it open and glaring up at Mike. “The last time someone made me a promise I regretted it.” He just pressed his lips in a flat line. “What are you doing here, Mike?”
“I’m here on behalf of Harvey.” “Why?” “Because he’s worried about you.” Why is he worried about me? He made it very clear he didn’t give a shit about me. “He’s beating himself up over what he did.”
“Good,” that I didn’t restrain.
“Claudia, he is really shaken up right now. He didn’t mean to do what he did. Now, I’m not going to stand here and pretend I know all the details about what he did but-” “He used me, Mike. Plain and simple.” All I got was a raised eyebrow. “He told me he wanted to ‘build my confidence’ which I was actually naive enough to believe, and it led to my worst fucking nightmare. But he just got what he wanted, to get his dick wet and then was done with me.”
“Claudia, trust me, it wasn’t like that. Harvey would never use you like that. He wouldn’t dream of it, trust me.”
“Are you sure because it seems like that’s exactly what he did. He saw that I was hard working, manipulated me into working with him, and treated me like shit when I was just trying to find a solution to his goddamn problem. I have more self respect than that. To let him continue to get away with that.”
“Can I ask what he did?”
My throat closed, and my palms began to sweat. I knew my annoying blush was there by the way his eyes dipped to my neck.
“After I won my first case with him, he invited me up to his office for some drinks. Said something along the lines of wanting to get to know each other so I didn’t have to feel so nervous. So I went up, and one thing led to another and… I don’t know why I let it happen. I knew it would end badly. I can’t believe I let myself believe that he would be into me beyond anything other than his pure primal satisfaction. But he seemed so genuine and so caring. Like he genuinely wanted to help me, and some part of me obviously thought it was a good idea because it happened again. And again. And again. God, I sound like the biggest loser right now.” “No you don’t,” Mike gave me a soft smile. “If it means anything, those feelings weren’t one sided. I know it doesn’t mean much of anything coming from me but… Harvey is really really fucking sorry about what he did.”
I was physically shaking. Through my trembles, I managed to speak, despite my thoughts trying to shut me down. “It hurt so bad, Mike. I really like Harvey, and I thought he might feel the same way. I guess I was wrong. So… so wrong.”
“No, Claudia you’re not wrong. Harvey is a grade A asshole but he wouldn’t-”
“If there is any chance of Harvey sorting this out, you need to tell him to grow a set and tell me himself,” I have no idea where this confidence came from. “He needs to stop getting other people to do his job for him. If he can’t recognize that now, of all times, then… then I don’t think he deserves me.”
Mike blinked long, rubbing his fingers over his mouth. “Harvey didn’t ask me to come here.” “What?” What?
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I knew Harvey wouldn’t come tonight. I’m not sure he’ll come at all but… Claudia, he talks about you like I’ve never seen him talk before. He gushes over you to the point where it’s annoying. And when I went to go and talk to him about what our next move was for this case… Claudia, he was crying. He was sobbing with Donna in his office and-”
Good, I wanted to say. But it kind of crushed my soul. Harvey was crying over what he did to me.
“I’ve never seen him cry before,” Mike looked hurt, too. “He regrets what he said. I know he does.”
“I believe you.”
“Good,” he nods. “I don’t want to do his job for him and I think-”
“But that doesn’t mean I will forgive him for what he said,” and with that, I closed the door, locking it for the night.
_____
Saturday and Sunday were so agonizing. The last thing I wanted to do was go into an office after a weekend of anything but rest and relaxation. I was tired and hadn’t showered and needed some restful sleep. Not to be woken up three times a night by dreams of Harvey touching me. Those certainly didn’t help.
My mind kept replaying our first time together. Specifically when he said 'Oh, Claudia, you really are that innocent, aren’t you?’ Innocent and naive… just like he said that night. Who was I to think that Harvey would take any interest in me besides the fact that I was good at being a lawyer? I wasn’t special in any way, I think he just knew that I was easy to manipulate into doing what he needed.
There was no way in hell I’d ever do another thing for Havrey, the all powerful jackass, Specter again.
As I set my stuff on my desk, Griffin walked up. Great. Just great, what did this prick want?
“Hey umm… Hi Claudia,” he rubbed the back of his head. “I just- I’m sorry. About all the things I’ve done to you. You didn’t deserve it and I want you to know that you have always been six-times the lawyer I wish I could be. I was jealous and took it out on you. And I shouldn’t have so… I’m sorry.”
Did I just hear that right? Did Griffin Harper just apologize to me? What the fuck is going on?
“Oh,” great way to start, idiot. “Thank you, Griffin.”
He just gave me a short nod before scurrying away. Well, that was… unexpected. Certainly I couldn’t ever let us be friends, but it was nice to know he wasn’t my mortal enemy any longer.
I went about my business, plagued with thoughts and reminders of Harvey ever which way I went. Louis and Jessica sent me an email with some files to print out so I scanned them, proofed them, and sent them to the printing room.
God it sent a shiver down my spine to be back in here after he… don’t finish the thought don’t finish the thought-
“Hey, Claudia,” Donna snapped me out of my heated thoughts. “How are you?” “You can cut the bullshit now, Donna.”
She sighed, “it was a genuine question.” “And that was a genuine answer. I’m not in the mood.”
“Claudia-” “No, Donna. What Harvey did wasn’t okay, and I’m not going to stand here and pretend like what he did didn't hurt. Because it did and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. I don’t need you here to remind me.”
“Have you ever considered that Harvey may want to fix it?”
“No, Donna. I haven’t. And I’m not going to,” I stood my ground, squaring off my freshly printed papers before making more copies for Louis.
“What are you talking about?”
I scoffed. “Do you really think that I wouldn’t figure out what was going on?” “Again, what are you-” “I know Harvey just thinks that I am gullible and naive and easy to push around because he makes me nervous. And it’s true. Whenever I am near him I can’t keep myself composed and I’m sick and tired of being walked all over. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to let myself see otherwise, but I’m even more upset that you didn’t come clean and tell me.” “Claudia, no one is walking over you. And I didn’t know about any of this until you told me on Friday. Harvey came to you because he knew can rely on you and your abilities to get things accomplished. He wanted the chance to work with you and get you to trust him a little. You have to know that by now,” Donna was standing right next to me, blocking my way out.
“Maybe I do, but that doesn’t mean that I believe it. Donna, I am not some corporate power house that is gonna bring firms to their knees. Not like he does.” “Nobody does what Harvey does.” “And that’s my point,” I grit my teeth. “Harvey was trying to make me into a mini version of him, just like he did with Mike and it’s not what I want to be. Donna, I am not assertive. I am not reckless and willing to go behind peoples backs to get the job done. I like rules and regulations and the law. They are there so people abide by them, and Harvey, more often than not, doesn’t do that. Yes, I look up to him as a role model because I admire his tenacity. But that doesn’t mean I like or agree with the things he does.”
“And you think that I like it when he goes and cuts someone’s legs out from under them?”
“I didn’t say that. But that means you know how I feel. I can’t- I don’t… I don’t want to be around someone like that. It makes me feel like I’m suffocating. And worst of all he gave me his word that he wouldn’t lash out and treat me like the other associates. I cant believe that I was stupid enough to believe that Harvey would-“
Both of us stopped as someone pushed through the door.
Harvey…
“Donna,” Harvey’s mouth was pressed in a flat line. He jerked his head over his shoulder. Donna gave me a sympathetic look and turned on her heel. Where was she going?
“Wait, Donna don’t-” I whispered.
“You’ll be fine,” she gave me a firm look, patting my shoulder as she walked around Harvey. Oh my god… she set me up.
My heart felt like it was ripping out of my fucking chest. The last thing I needed right now was to be in an enclosed space with Harvey.
He stared at me, fussing with the cufflink on his shirt. “Claudia.” “I’m sorry, Mr. Specter, but I have to get these to Louis.” I tried to go around him, like Donna had, but he just let his body fall against the wall. Blocking the way. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him and ask him to let me go.
“I want you to listen to me.” His voice was stern, in a demanding way, but not in a pissed off way.
“No, I am in a rush. Now if you’ll excuse me-”
“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “Come on, Claudia. Please just talk to me. I tried to call you but you didn’t answer and-.”
“I know, but I don’t want to talk to you. I want you to get out of my way so I can go do my job.”
“A little feisty today, aren’t we?” He pushed off his shoulder, taking a step towards me, I took one back. And another as he took one.
“No, I need to-” “Get those copies to Louis, I heard you,” Harvey acknowledged, but didn’t stop walking closer to me. My back eventually hit a copier and I almost fell over, but Harveys arms came to either side of my body, blocking me in. “And I don’t care.”
His face was inches from mine, chest inches from mine. I felt desperate for a breath. I forgot how to think, how to appear unphased. Everything he’s taught me has vanished from my mind. His eyes, much darker in this low over-head light, seemed to pierce my soul.
“What… What are you doing?” My voice was barely audible.
“I want you to know that I wouldn’t ever, ever, take advantage of you like that. I can’t even believe that you would think that. You think I enjoy making you a nervous wreck? Well, I don’t. It honestly makes me sick that even after all this time, you can’t trust me.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
“Then what is it? Because clearly I am not understanding,” his tone deepened, voice scratching in his throat.
I couldn’t- I didn’t know how to admit to him-
“I- I umm… Mr. Specter I can’t-”
“Stop calling me that, please, Claudia. Stop seeing me as your boss for one second and see me as literally anything else.”
I swallowed. Nothing went down. “Harvey… you are… you scare me more than anyone else I’ve ever met.” “Why?” his brows knit together. “What is it about me that makes you so afraid of me?”
“Everything.” I was shaking, visibly shaking in front of him. I looked anywhere but his eyes because I knew if I did I’d crack open and bleed my heart all over him.
His exhale was sharp enough to rustle the small hairs framing my face. “Claudia just-”
“I can’t be around you without feeling like I’m gonna drown in your presence.”
He was stunned silent for a beat too long. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Harvey I told you I didn’t want to-”
“Please, Claudia, tell me why you are so afraid of me.” He was begging. Begging for me to explain.
“Because I know that if I let myself think for one fucking second that you actually like working with me I’ll drop my guard around you. And I cannot afford to do that because there are things I keep locked inside that I would rather take to my grave than ever let someone know.”
“And what, you don’t think I’m equally as terrified to have these feelings for you?” “Not like mine.” Harvey gave me a very concerned glance. “There, you asked me to tell you. Please just let me go.”
“No, not until you tell me what is haunting you so much you’re willing to let it eat you alive rather than just let it out for once in your life. Look, I get that you’re a private person, and it’s hard for you to trust people, but that doesn’t mean you need to keep everything bottled inside and let it rot you from the inside out-”
“For the love of guard Harvey it’s you,” I shouted, far louder than I meant to. “It is you that is driving me insane. I cannot go a single moment of my day without thinking about you. I am terrified that you are going to see right through me and figure out that every thought that goes on inside my head has to do with you because for some reason, known only by some sick and twisted higher power, I want you to see me the way I see you. I want you to want me as much as I want you and-”
I stopped because I ran out of air. And then it hit me so hard I saw stars. What the fuck have I just done? My vision began to black out, my heart beating too fast for my lungs to keep up with.
Harvey had backed up a step, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
I was going to throw up, I was sure of it. I tried to speak, but my mind had melted and oozed out of my ears.
I ran, I left the copies on the floor; at some point I dropped them. And ran. His hand caught my elbow and I shrieked, whipping around just as Harvey slammed the door closed, pinning me, yet again.
“You do not get to drop that ball and run away,” his voice had a darkness I’ve never heard. “Claudia, in what way do you want me?”
Frozen. My mind was utterly dysfunctional and useless. I couldn’t think, I’m surprised I remembered how to breathe. God his eyes…
“Claudia, please answer me.” Now his voice was tender, filled with warmth. His fingers tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “You have to tell me in what way now or I’m… you have to tell me.”
“Why does it matter? I've already ruined everything I’ve had going for me.” I was meek with my words. Wimpy. Cowardice.
“Because it matters to me.”
“I want you, I want Harvey.”
“As in you want me, and not as your boss, Claudia?” He clarified. I had to shut my eyes, to turn my cheek to him so I wouldn’t see his reaction when I nodded in confirmation. “Fucking hell…”
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Just… just let me go and I can hand Jessica my letter of resignation right now and you never have to see me again-”
“Are you out of your mind?” Harvey’s caramel eyes were wide. “Claudia, I don’t want you to go. Not for one fucking second. Why do you even have a letter drafted?”
“But I just-”
His fingers gripped my chin, forcing me to look up at him when I spoke. God dammit… Harvey’s thump caressed my lip, pulling it down and watching it spring up. Slowly, ever so slowly, he dipped it inside my mouth. I couldn’t help the soft noise that startled out of me.
“Claudia… you have no idea how much I have been praying to hear you say those words. I have been driving myself out of my mind with what to say. How to say it and I- I don’t know how to tell you everything I’ve been wanting to. For weeks now.
“I have been thinking of you nonstop. I keep making up excuses and things to come see you during the day. I want nothing more than to get the chance to treat you right, and I want you to want it too. I promised myself I wouldn’t make a move unless you made one first because I knew how petrified you were of me. I can’t- I won’t have you be afraid of me if we do this.
“But I fucked up. I got ahead of myself and I didn’t go in the direction that I should've. I should've just asked you out to dinner, been a true gentleman rather than selfish. You have no idea how long I have been practicing what to say. I just made everything so much worse. And I wish like hell I could take it all back and do it all again because I am so so so fucking sorry for breaking my promise.”
I stared up at him, at the tears spilling over his lashes, and the flush on his cheeks. His lip quivered. He looked so vulnerable. So open and honest. Every part of me wanted to take it to heart, but that voice in the back of my head was telling me not to believe it.
“Harvey I-”
“Please, Claudia,” Harvey knelt to the ground, sitting back on his heels. “I will do whatever you want to gain your trust back. Anything… anything. But I can’t let you walk away from me. I want a real chance to make you happy, to give you every part of me. I will do or say or answer whatever you want but please do not leave me. If you truly don’t want me, tell me, and we never have to talk again. I will make it like I was never here in the first place if you told me to, but I don't think you want that. And I don’t want it either.”
Harvey was on his knees. Begging me to open my heart up to him.
“Please don’t make me regret this, Harvey…”
He let out a breath, and a smile accompanied the tears that fell down his face. He reached for my hand, and I let him grab it. His fingers were warm and smooth in mine, familiar and comforting as he gently tugged me towards him.
“I'm so sorry, Claudia. I will regret nothing more than the words I said to you. But I want to fix it, I want to be better. Not just for you, but for myself. But you are what makes me want to be better. I need to learn to control myself and take a page out of my own book to make that happen.”
Harvey rested his head on my stomach, and I let my fingers thread through his spiky hair.
“But I don’t want you to be afraid of me anymore. I can’t- I won’t let you be afraid to ask me a question. I want to be there for you, work related or not, but I can’t do it if you don’t meet me halfway. I do remember you making me a promise back, to not see me as a monster.”
My hand stopped, and he looked up. I wanted to agree, but I was still upset, and he must’ve seen that.
“Okay, that was a bad time to bring that up.”
“Yup.”
Harvey huffed a laugh, standing back up. His smile was sweet, his finger gentle as it swept some hair away from my face.
“You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Claudia Olivia Martin.”
“How did you find out my middle name?”
“Donna,” he smiled wider. I just rolled my eyes. “I don’t really know how to do any of this, so I asked her for some help. I knew I had to do it myself. I just didn’t really know where to start and she’s… well, she’s Donna.” “Yes, she is Donna,” I smiled up at him. “But it’s gonna take me more than that to convince me.”
“Oh I have like seven other things lined up and ready to go. If you'd like to hear them. First, you are the most stunning, breathtaking, gorgeous woman I have ever met in my life. Second, I admire every part of you. All your good habits, your bad, your anxious thoughts and brave approach to life. Because they all make you you. Three, I am the biggest fucking idiot. For starting all of this off wrong, for yelling at you. For leading you to believe that I just wanted to get in your pants.”
“You’re also an asshole. A bit of a coward and a bitch. Did I say that you were an asshole?”
“Okay okay,” he placed his hands on my hips and I let him, doing nothing to hide the giggle that bubbled out. “Yes, I am all of those things. And, for the record, I did want to get in your pants, just not that way.”
“Of course you did, who could resist all of this?” My heart sped up when he looked at me over, a huge grin spreading his cheeks wide and bright.
“Looks like you’ve gained a little confidence, huh?”
“Well, I did have a not so awful teacher. That was before he betrayed me.” “Are you gonna stop rubbing salt into the wound?”
I faked a ponder, “Nope.”
“Claudia,” he pressed a tentative kiss to my cheek, then gauged my response before placing one on the other. “Olivia,” another kiss. “Martin.” He kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose. “I will never be able to take back what I said, but I hope you find it in your heart to give me a second chance. Even good people are great at making bad decisions. I know I can be a better man, and I know you know that too. Just one,” a kiss to my left cheek, “More,” right cheek, “Chance.”
His lips hovered over mine, waiting for permission before he pressed them into mine. My heart was beating so fast. So strong, all because of him. All for him.
My eyes met his, “Okay, Harvey.”
Those devastating eyes ignited. His smile grew so wide I got lost in it with my own. I was pressed flat to him, my hands on his shoulders, his hands on my lower back. My ears were buzzing with my pulse and I hoped he felt how fast it was. Who knew Harvey had such a way with words? I wondered how long he practiced all of this in the mirror. Who knows, maybe he was secretly a hopeless romantic and-
“Claudia,” Harvey snapped me out of my daydream.
“Hmm?” “Please tell me I can kiss you.”
Oh. Right.
“And what if I say no?”
“Then I won’t.”
“And if I say yes?” “I’ll make sure it is the best damn kiss you’ve ever and will ever have.”
Sounds pretty good to me. I pressed up on my toes, arms wrapping around his neck, and finally let our lips say hello. It had been too long, It felt so right, so perfect. And I realized it felt like all the other times we’ve kissed; I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. I wanted to kiss Harvey. Harvey goddamn Specter.
I should find out what his middle name is from Donna to surprise him.
“Come over tonight,” he blurted out.
“What?” “Come over, let me cook something for you. We can make it our first date. A real date. Let me start this off on the right foot. Unless tonight is too soon and you need more time to heal and process or-”
“Just stop talking,” I literally put my fingers over his mouth. “I’d love to come over for dinner, Harvey.”
If I hadn’t been in his arms I’m sure he’d jump up and down out of excitement. He kissed me again, and again, and again. The slight stubble on his chin tickled my neck enough for me to tuck down into my shoulders when he kissed below my ear.
“Hey, Claudia, I just want to make sure- oh. Well, this seems to be going well,” Donna had a proud smile on her face, arms crossed over her chest.
“It is,” Harvey beamed down, never taking his eyes off of me.
“Good, I’m glad to hear it.”
“How much of this was your idea?” I asked.
“I suggested he get a horse and carriage to surprise you on your way out but he knew you wouldn’t want a grand gesture,” She said. “So I think that should say it well enough as to who came up with all the ideas.” When I looked back at him, he had a flush to his cheeks, and hid his grin.
“Wow, Harvey, I’m impressed.” “Well,” he shrugged. “I don’t know… I wanted it to be authentic and special. Something that you would take to heart and genuinely appreciate. So it’s the best I could come up with over the weekend because if I didn’t do it soon I was going to explode.”
“Seriously, Claudia. This idiot wouldn’t leave my house for two days. I had to kick him out so he could get a shower and change. Did you even sleep?” “You haven’t slept?” He shook his head. “Harvey, what- okay. We need to do our dinner another day because if you try to cook you might set your house on fire and that would-” “Nope, too bad. I’m fine, really Claudia. I can handle making dinner. I’ll leave early and take a nap if that would make you feel better.” “Yes, it would,” I sighed out, looking back at Donna who had a look that meant trouble. “What?” “You guys are adorable.”
I blushed. “Oh, wait! Before you go, what’s Harvey’s middle name? I mean, he went to you for mine so it’s only fair…”
“Don’t you dare,” Harvey pointed at Donna who all but melted the Wicked Witch of the West with her smirk.
“Reginald.”
“Reginald?” I repeated. “Seriously?”
“It’s a family name, alright?” He defended. “Now, if you two will excuse me I have a very important dinner to plan for an even more important girl. Donna, can you-” “Already cleared your schedule.”
“Remind me to give you a raise.” “Oh I’ve already written a bonus check, it just needs your signature.” “I’m surprised you didn’t forge it,” I snickered.
“I would’ve but having Harvey do it makes it that much more satisfying.”
Harvey just shook his head, but smiled at us both. “I’ll see you tonight, is seven good?” “Sounds perfect,” I nodded, relishing in his warmth as he pressed one more kiss to the top of my head before leaving.
“So,” Donna swayed on her feet. “I take it that things went well?” “Yeah, yeah it did. I was surprised, today has been so weird. Even Griffin apologized to me.” “Griffin? Really?” “Yeah,” I followed in step behind her towards the bullpen. “He genuinely apologized to me. It was so unexpected. Now this… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dreading this happening. But it turned out way better than I expected so I can’t complain. I need to stop expecting the worst case scenario all the time and believe that I can handle anything that comes at me.”
“Now that sounds like true growth and confidence,” Donna slung her arm over my shoulder. “And definitely something Harvey couldn’t have taught you.” “No, he didn’t. That was all on my own.”
___
As I packed up to head home for the day, my stomach was on fire with nerves about tonight. Not nerves, excitement.
“Hey, Claudia,” Griffin caught up to me right before the elevator closed. “Do you want to join us for drinks tonight?”
I just smirked. “Sorry, Griffin. I can’t, I have a date with Harvey Specter.” And I let the door shut before he could get on.
____
This building. For fucks sake his front door cost more than what I make in a year, probably. The door man had given me a bit of a side eye when I asked to be let up to Harvey. Well, here I was.
The bottle of wine in my hand wasn’t getting any colder as I paced outside of his apartment. Was I making this a bigger deal than it needed it to be? Most definitely.
I knocked.
Harvey opened it a few moments later, a smug look on his face. “I was wondering how long you were going to just stand there.”
God dammit. The heat rose up my neck and I looked away. “Just shut up and take the wine.”
He chuckled, plucking it from my grasp before stepping aside to let me in. I gazed up and into his hallway, following it down to the kitchen. Woah… holy windows. The already set sun lit up the sky with blues and purples, making all of this feel very cinematic.
“You didn’t need to bring this, Claudia,” Harvey smiled nonetheless.
“I just- I don’t know, isn't that what people do when they’re invited over?”
“Why are you still so nervous?”
Right to it, I guess. “What makes you say that?” “Well,” he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was wearing all black. He looked… too good for his own good. Or mine for that matter of fact. “For starters, you’ve clearly been running your fingers through your hair. Second, I’ve watched you fiddle with that string on your sleeve at least four times now.”
My fingers ceased their motion. I had been toying with it. “I like to keep my hands busy.”
“I call it a nervous habit.”
“Did you invite me here for dinner or just to pick on me for being anxious?”
“You have no reason to be anxious here,” he crept closer, taking my hand in his. Harvey gently kissed the back of my fingers. “There is no one here to watch, no prying eyes to hide from. It’s just me, Claudia.”
“And that is precisely what makes me nervous,” I did let a laugh bubble up. “But, you’re right. I guess there is no reason to be so… terrified.”
“Good,” he smiled, placing his hands on my hips. I let mine fall around his shoulders. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” I turned to look behind me, a few pots and a pan of vegetables on the stove. Harvey’s hands still lingered on my sides as I peered over to look inside.
“I didn’t know the great Harvey Specter could cook,” I jabbed, making him roll his eyes playfully. “It looks lovely, thank you.”
“Told you, there’s more to the name than the title it comes with.”
From the table, I watched him plate the stir fry dish and bring it over. I was starving, and I made sure to eat my lunch a little later so I wouldn’t be ravenous by the time this dinner rolled around. I wasted no time taking a forkful and practically inhaling it.
“I’ll take that as a good sign?”
I nodded, “It’s amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this?” “Here and there. My brother owns a bar and restaurant back home, we used to like to cook together all the time.” “I didn’t know you had a brother,” I tilted my head. “That’s amazing, though. Glad you put those skills to good use.”
“Do you have any siblings?”
I hummed, “Yeah I have two brothers. I’m the baby of the family.”
“Am I going to have to win their trust one day?”
My laugh echoed through the spacious dining room, “No, they’re pretty cool. Vince, my oldest brother, is married, has two kids who are in college. My other brother, Caleb, is the one you’ve gotta watch out for. He’s my twin and very vocal about the men in my life, especially when he doesn’t think they’re good enough for me.”
“I see,” Harvey gave me a look I knew all too well.
“Yeah, he can be a pain in my ass sometimes. But I love him, he always stood up for me when I was too afraid. Whether someone was picking on me in school or tried to get one up on me at a bar, he was always there. He’s just protective of me, they both are, but Caleb… he’s always had my back.” “It’s good to have those types of people on your side,” Harvey’s smile was so bright.
For about an hour we ate and had dessert. I don’t know how, he probably asked Donna, but he had my absolute favorite chocolate cake. Coated in a thick butter cream, it practically melted in my mouth. I wasn’t shy about telling him how delicious it was.
“I could marry this cake,” I knew I was being dramatic, but I didn’t care. “If I could take this cake, and mold it in the shape of a man, I would.”
Harvey grinned, looking from the cake on his plate, back up to me as I spooned another mouthful. He dipped his finger in the frosting and swiped it across his cheek. I blushed, so hard, and he just laughed and laughed.
“You think you’re funny, huh?” I had to put my face in my hands.
“I do, actually. Why don’t you come over here and clean it off for me,” Harvey spoke dangerous words. I raised my eyebrow in question, but he merely scooted his chair back in response, palms turned upward.
Now or never, I thought.
I stood, my bare feet padding quietly to Harvey. This is where I had confidence. Could use his own game against him. Because up until this point, all Harvey knows about me is that I am a nervous wreck in front of him.
The cards have no longer been dealt in his favor.
I swung my leg over his, perching on his thigh. I took my thumb and ran it across his face, collecting the decorative icing off his cheek, licking my thumb clean. His eyes tracked my movements, especially when I stuck out my tongue and showed him the mess.
His throat bobbed, and his eyes darkened.
“Where did that shy, blushing Claudia go?” Harvey’s voice sent a chill down my spine.
“Away, for now,” I smirked. “There are plenty of versions of Claudia you haven’t met before.”
“And who exactly is this version?” He asked.
“That depends,” I huffed. “Are you going to let me have what I want or are you going to make me earn it?”
Harvey’s hands crept up my thighs, cupping my ass gently. “You’re gonna let me choose?”
“You better choose carefully.”
“And why is that?”
“Because,” I said. “You can either let me take what I want, or try to take what you want. But I’ll let it be known, that isn’t possible. You won’t be able to resist me long enough to uphold that promise.”
“Oh, you think I’m that easy?” Harvey countered, tightening his hold on my body. I let out a whine, enticing him into my game further.
“I don’t know, Harvey.” I ran my hand down his chest, grinding back and forth on his thigh. I leaned close to his ear, “I can be your every fantasy or your worst nightmare.”
I pulled away from his body, taking a few steps back and towards another hallway. I assumed that’s where his bedroom was, and judging by the screeching of the chair against the floor, I was heading in the right direction.
The first door I pushed open was, thankfully, the right room. His clothes were hung up neatly in the closet on the opposite side of the room, the city below shining onto the walls. Harvey shut the door quickly, turning on a lamp beside his bed.
Harvey grinned like the devil and crushed his mouth to mine. I didn’t waste any time letting his tongue tangle with mine. Harvey kissed like the god he was, like a true emperor. He tasted like pure sin, like the cake we were just sharing.
My hands went to the buttons on his shirt, fitting them through the tiny holes and pushing it off his shoulders.
“Mmm wait, sweetheart,” Harvey broke our lips apart. “I don’t wanna do it this way tonight. Let me take care of you. Please.”
Well, when he sounded like that, who was I to resist him? I let him lay me down, his body between my legs as he placed the most tender kiss on my lips. He moved down my chest, slowly lifting my shirt and placing his mark on my stomach. Up my chest, and my neck.
“You are so beautiful, Claudia. And I can’t believe I get to have all of you to myself. I can’t wait to make you feel so good.”
I sighed out, letting my eyes close as he explored my body. He was forward with his choices, but he wasn’t ever harsh. He was so soft. So loving and so caring. No one had ever made me feel equally nervous or excited as Harvey did. But now… I wasn’t afraid of him. I don’t think I could ever again.
“Is it okay if I take these off?” “I wasn’t sure you knew how to ask for permission,” I giggled. He just scowled, but I nodded. “Of course, Harvey. Do whatever you want.” “Don’t-” he swallowed. “Don’t say things like that when I am trying to be sweet and nice to you.”
“I think you’re forgetting that I like it when you manhandle me,” I smiled up to the ceiling before looking at him between my legs. “Sorry, carry on.”
He laid a not so gentle tap to the inside of my thigh before removing my skirt. The chill of the air spread goosebumps across my skin, even more when he placed kisses from my ankle to my hips bone.
“God I could spend all day between your legs. They’re so perfect,” he praised, spreading them wide so he could fit his torso between them. “You’re so fucking hot, Claudia.” I flushed, beet red, and turned away from him. But his fingers brought me right back.
“You don’t get to be shy now, sweetheart. Not tonight, let me see all of you.”
“I’m all yours Harvey.” Our eyes locked, and the sparks flew. His lips were on mine, hurried, but not starving. It was intense and passionate and everything I could’ve asked it to be. He lifted my shirt over my head and slipped off my bra from behind. Thankfully his chest was warm against mine.
From one second to the next, Harvey swooped me on top of him and rolled, tugging the sheet with him. When they were freed, he laid me back down and put them over his body.
“Oh, guess I should get these off,” he grinned, pushing his jeans down his thighs, his briefs going with them. Man… what a sight to behold. Harvey wasn’t shredded, but it was clear his boxing habits kept him in good shape.
There was something about him that just made me want to crumble and fold.
Harvey’s lips were hot as they moved all over me, nipping and biting and leaving tiny marks here and there. Before he could lose all his resolve, he reached over to his bedside table and plucked a foil packet from a little jar. Classy.
“Doing okay, sweetheart?” He smoothed down my hair.
“Yes, Harvey. I’d be better if…” I locked my legs around his middle, pulling him to me. “You just got on with it.” “Such an impatient little thing,” his grin gave away his facade.
“Oh please, don’t act like you’re not craving this as much as I am.” “You’re right,” he smirked, lining up and pushing all the way in. a low groan escaped his flushed lips. “But I know you can’t get enough of this.”
I breathed heavily, clinging to him. His hips stirred, slowly pulling back, and sinking all the way in. Harvey rested his head on my shoulder, tongue making patterns on my ignited skin. I tugged at his hair, lips working on their own to find all his sweet spots.
I raked my nails up his back, not missing when his hips slowed and he moaned. So I did it again. His thumb found its way between my legs and circled around where I wanted it most. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to take care of me.
Harvey took his time, making sure that I was feeling good and got what I wanted. This was so different from the feverish moments we’ve had in the office. But it was somehow way better. Well, it could use one thing.
As he laced our fingers together, I moved our hands up. He stopped kissing me for a moment to give me a puzzled look. But I slipped his grip from mine and placed his hand on my throat.
“I don’t need you to go all ‘sir’ on me tonight, but just give me this. Please.” I did the best I could with my eyes to lure him in, and it worked. It tightened, but it was never tight. It was just there, a reminder of the part of him I was going to get to see whenever I wanted.
He started to let his control slip, and I knew it was hard for him to be so gentle. But I appreciated it so much. I let some of my control slip as well, just because I wanted to rile him up. His breath quickened, and so did his hips. His thumb was relentless between my legs and I could feel my high approaching.
“Come on, sweetheart, let go. Make yourself feel so good for me.” There it was, the Harvey that kept me up at night. That has plagued my dreams for the past few days.
I met his hips with mine, and my release crashed over me when I wasn’t expecting it. I shook in his arms as he continued to move, chasing his own time.
“Fuck, Harvey,” I gasped. “Let go for me, you did such a good job making me feel good.”
He cursed, tucking his head down momentarily before crushing his mouth to mine, not shy about how I was making him feel. His body went rigid, and the praise streamed out of his mouth.
“Fuck fuck Claudia… god you feel so good. You are so perfect for me. So soft and warm.”
My lips would surely be bruised tomorrow morning, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was being here with Harvey. About carrying him through the aftershocks of his release. I rubbed at his back, kissed his neck and cheeks. When he lifted his head, he had this dreamy look on his face.
“You look so hot,” he ran his thumb across my cheek, bringing me in for another kiss. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”
“I’m glad I decided to do it. I can’t decide which Harvey I like more. This one or the one who calls me sweetheart.”
“Did I not call you sweetheart tonight?” “You did, but not the way you do when I call you ‘sir’.”
“Ahh, I see,” he smirked. “As much as I would like to think that I could flip a switch right now, I don’t want to spoil this moment with you.”
“If you don’t want to spoil it, then you should take us into the shower.”
And then I was in the shower. Hot water streaming between us from the rain shower head. His hands were soft as he kneaded my body; they particularly felt nice on my ass, especially when he added his lips to the mix.
“You are so amazing, Claudia. I cannot stress that enough.” “You’re doing an amazing job,” I smiled, kissing him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”
“I know,” he grinned, smacking my ass before lathering up his hands and running them through my hair. It was hard to not fall asleep standing up. “Sweetheart, if you keep making those noises it is going to be very very hard to not take you right here.”
My eyes flew open, his very apparent arousal pressing into my backside. Well, alright then. Go Claudia, you sexy son of a bitch!
“And who’s to say that I wouldn’t want that?” “I am trying to hold back, you know. I wanted tonight to be different, to be special. I didn’t want it to be heated and rough and-”
“Harvey,” I turned, pressing a hand to his chest. “I know.” “I wanted to ‘make love’ or whatever they call it in those cheesy romance books you read.”
I laughed out loud, picturing Harvey curled up on the couch with a book in his hand, a fire in the fireplace. “Nobody says ‘making love’ any more, babe.” “Babe?” “Yeah, babe. I figured you wouldn’t like sugar, or honey bun, or baby for that matter.”
“Don’t make me sound older than I am, please. For fucks sake I passed the Bar when you were in highschool.”
“It doesn’t bother me all that much anymore,” I admitted, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I thought it would, but it doesn’t really make a difference to me.”
“Good, I’m glad it doesn’t freak you out,” he smiled. “And, for the record, I hope it doesn’t freak your folks out.”
“It won’t.”
He lifted up a brow, “How could you know?” “Because I already told them about you.” I felt him go tight. “Relax. They knew who you were already and they couldn’t have been more excited that I found a caring, respectful, well respected man.”
He let out a sigh, “and your brothers?” “They don’t know yet, but don’t worry about them, either. It will be okay.”
“When did you become the consoling one? It’s weird.” “I know, right?” I giggled. When I looked into his eyes, there was a fondness to his gaze. He was looking at my body, but not in a way he had before. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Harvey shrugged, “I just love you so much, Claudia. And I am so proud of how far you’ve come in just these first couple of months.”
My heart hitched in my chest, then beat so wildly I wasn’t entirely sure it didn’t burst through my skin and land in his hands. I froze. Mike had been right. Harvey wasn’t just some cock, high strung New York attorney that couldn’t decipher his own feelings. He seemed incredibly in tune with his emotions and that couldn’t be more attractive.
I just kissed him. I didn’t know what else to do other than kiss him. He had to take a step back to support our combined weight. Harvey’s arms were strong around my waist, his lips reassuring and just as firm as his grip.
“I love you too, Harvey. So fucking much.”
____
The comforters pulled tight, Harvey's body pressed behind mine… I couldn’t think of a more relaxing way to end the night. Especially after I slipped to my knees in the shower and showed him just how much I loved him.
“You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming about having you in my arms one night. All night long.”
I hummed, scooting back so his chest met my back, his legs molding with mine. “I may have fantasized about it once or twice as well.” “Have you now?” “Again, there are several versions of Claudia you haven’t met before.” “And I look forward to coaxing every single one of them out with my mouth… my tongue… my hands… my-”
“Tomorrow,” I whispered, letting my eyes lull shut. “We can do it all again tomorrow. On the table, on the counter, on the couch-” “You’re not helping the situation here, you know,” he tugged at my half-dried hair. “Don’t get me started, sweetheart. I just might not let you get any sleep tonight.”
I clenched my thighs together. This was going to be such a sweet, tortuous game to play. And I got to play it every day. Every night, if I wanted. He wouldn’t be able to resist me. I had a secret weapon.
“Whatever you say, sir.”
His hand was wrapped around my throat, forcing my head to turn back to look at him. He clicked his tongue, eyes more awake than they had been a few minutes ago. “Oh sweet, innocent little Claudia. I guess you haven’t learned your lesson yet. It’s okay, I’d be happy to give you more instruction. I think I recall saying that eventually I would break you down over and over again until all you could remember was my name and how to breathe. Well, sweetheart. What do you think? Because I think you can still form coherent thoughts. I think it’s time we change that, don’t you?” I nodded, “Yes.”
His grip tightened and tightened and tightened. “Yes what?”
I smirked, climbing into his lap and taking him into my hand. “Yes, sir.”
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