#and i talked to this girl i liked but we werent compatible

[mxsticmayhxm]

want a guy who gets into my head and rearranges it without me knowing. someone i really, genuinely trust, maybe someone ive known for years. when i need comfort, i go to him. he always knows the right things to say.

thats why id go to him if i ever broke up with a girl.

and im someone who likes touch— hed know that. im sitting on his bed while hes bent down, brushing my hair behind my ear. hes so sweet, it makes me emotional all over again.

“theres nothing to worry about anymore," he whispers in a low voice, soft on the ears. its easy to listen to, i cant help but lean closer. his hand rests on my cheek.

"im here, hun. you dont have to think about it." its quiet in his room, just the ticking of his alarm on his nightstand, rhythmic in its clicks. soothing to listen to paired with his voice.

"in fact, you dont have to think about anything," he says, staring into my eyes. my head tilts. "we can stay here for a while. you can just relax, i know its all stressful." i find myself nodding. "so, you dont have to think."

"i dont have to think?" he smiles encouragingly.

"thats right. no need to."

"sounds... kinda nice."

"it does, doesnt it?" his hand moves to trace small shapes and circles on my thigh, just barely grazing the surface. "not a care in the world, nothing weighing your mind down. like your mind is a clear blue sky; all the clouds just slip away."

"mmm," i nod again. see, he always knows what to say.

"and since you dont have any thoughts to focus on, all you need to focus on now is your breathing. slowing it down, keeping it deep." my breaths start to follow along, and my eyelids start to get heavy. he gives me another smile as he watches them flutter. "thats alright, you can close them. you could picture that clear blue sky. the warm sun on your skin, making your body and mind melt slowly, dripping down."

dripping down, melting, warm, it all sounded so nice. all i wanted was to follow his voice into that sun, let it... "...envelop me whole, taking away anything left weighing me down." i feel my head slowly fall toward his shoulder, landing in the crook of his neck. his arms wrap around me.

"no girls, no exes, nothing like that here. just you and me. everything else just slips from your mind like they werent even there to begin with."

like they werent even there to begin with.

~~~

i dont remember how long i stayed, but it was dark when i left. i came over the next day-- i had nothing better to do, i knew id just wallow in my room if i was given the chance. i felt like being with him would make me feel better, and next thing i knew, he was welcoming me in through the front door. he already had calm music playing in the background and warm tea set out for both of us. he sat me on the couch and passed over blankets to bundle myself up in before sitting down next to me. we talk for hours. the time just passes me by so quickly.

"i dont know why you only ever dated girls," he said, laughing a bit. i frowned.

"i... ive been a lesbian all my life. ive only ever wanted to date girls."

"well, sure, but nothings ever really lasted, has it?" im taken aback, straightening in my seat a bit.

"im sorry? does that matter?"

"relax." my back fell to the cushions again without thinking. "youve always been so much closer with guys. i dont want to assume anything, but you just get along better with men, isnt that right?” i stare at my mug, feeling his words sit in my mind for a moment. i guess he had a point.

“i guess. doesnt mean ive ever wanted to date them.”

“doesnt mean you arent compatible with them, though,” he grinned, taking a sip of his drink, before looking at you seriously. “i just want you to find the right person. there wasnt any love in your last relationship, you told me so.” i dont really know what hes talking about, but i dont know what to say, so i stay quiet. “i know you. i think a man would be able to love you much better than any girl could. arent you even the least bit curious?”

i couldnt help but admit that, after hearing him ask about it, i kind of was. i nodded.

“maybe after a bit. well see. i need some time.” he nodded and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“its okay, i get it.” he turned to the window, seeing how dark it was. “its pretty late, how about you just rest on the couch? its been an emotional few days. i could make breakfast in the morning.” my head was already lolling to the side at the idea.

“that sounds good. thank you,” i look into his eyes, “really, thank you. this all mean a lot, youre always there for me.”

there was a look in his eyes that i couldnt make out.

“exactly, hun. now,” he passes a pillow, “you rest, and ill wake you in the morning.”

as he left, he changed the music playing in the background to something slower, deeper. it seemed to worm its way into my head quickly. i fell asleep before i could even think about it, feeling him pull the blankets a bit tighter around me.

~~~

i ended up staying for a few days. i didnt know what id do if i left— its not like i had a girlfriend to run to anymore. so i rested at his home, even when he left for work. he always insisted.

“i promise im fine with it, hun,” hed say. “besides, im a good friend. what are good friends for?”

there wasnt much to remember about each day; they passed like syrup or molasses, and trying to think back on what happened felt like wading through the sticky mixture. when he went to work, i listened to the radio he had in the living room— he had a cd rack full of albums by people and bands id never heard of, but each track kept me more and more peaceful. when he came home, time was fluid. it didnt exist.

i was close with him before my breakup, and even closer now. ive found weve gotten closer physically as well, like somethings changed in our friendship. i hug him more, we half cuddle on the couch. ive even started holding his hand every so often. the touch, the connection between us just centers me so well.

his words, too. theyre soft. they find their way into my head and sink into my being somehow. i dont know what hed do without me.

were having a meal in the kitchen. i finished but just wanted to sit with him longer.

“gosh, how long has it been since your breakup?” he asks, bringing a fork to his lips.

i stop for a moment. i try to think. my breakup was…

i dont know. i dont know when my breakup was or how long ago. i dont even know what day or month it is.

“ah, doesnt matter,” he laughs. and suddenly, it didnt matter.

“have you thought more about it all? dating guys?” i played with my hands. i had. a lot.

and it was with him.

i dont know what it was. maybe it was the proximity, or the kindness, or the looks, or an amalgamation of all of it. but when i sat around all day, the only thing on my mind was him.

the warmth he brought when he sat next to me in our deep conversations at night. the soft touches. the smiles he would give me. just thinking about him now had me staring at his hands as he used his utensils. large hands, hands id like to hold, hands that could hold me tight, hands to undress me and suck on and use to—

“well, have you?” he says, breaking me out of my daydreaming.

“uhm. a little bit.”

“a little bit? no, youve been talking about it a lot more recently, isnt that right?”

i shook my head for a moment, trying handle the fuzzy sensation that flooded my brain. it was hard to remember what i was talking about now.

“i know i go on and on about dating guys now, but… i just want to wait for the right one to come along.”

“hmm,” he hums, nodding thoughtfully. “im sure youll find him soon. what kind of guy are you looking for?”

“i dont know, someone who really cares for my needs. when i dated women, they never really understood what i wanted. a man would know best about what i need in a relationship.”

his eyes gleamed at what i had said. i dont know what cued it, though. i was just being honest.

“tell me more.”

“dating men would just be much simpler for me. i cant love a woman, but i can serve a man.”

something didnt seem right, but the thought fell away into the pervasive fuzziness. his eyes looked so beautiful right now, all i could do was stare into them.

“thats right, you can serve a man. did you ever love women to begin with?”

i think back on all my ex girlfriends. i think of our intimacy, our dates, and i feel nothing. i think of what i could have, and all i feel is love for him.

“no. no, i never loved women. i could never be attracted to one. i…” my words drifted off. i was supposed to say something there. what was i supposed to say?

“youre straight, arent you, love?”

oh. that felt different. straight. i found myself starting to grin. straight, i… i was straight.

“im straight.”

“say it again for me.”

“im straight.”

“again.”

“im straight.”

“good,” he says, “good girl.”

my brain melts from my head. theres not much to think of past that.

[castlebyersafterdark]

noah left a very sweet message on sadie's insta about being endlessly proud of her every day as well as grateful to know her. similar sentiments to finn's one, but why does it feel more like what a mum would say to her kid than a declaration of love and friendship? sometimes i think noah's sweetness to everyone might come across as glib because when you have THAT much love, people don't think it's sincere (like that girl in mean girls... 'she doesnt even go here!' 'i just have a lot of feelings' hahha). but when he talks to or about finn it just feels more real. i cant explain it!

not saying his sentiments to others werent genuine, but you can feel a little kernal of magic when its finn. like chemistry, i cant explain it.

HAHA I always think of that Mean Girls quote when I get a little sappy and weepy on here about everything being so nice and fun and wanting a positive space a la "wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy." And I'm like, boy shut up. But I mean it when I'm sappy and emotional!!

So I think Noah is the same way. It's his sincerity and heart on the sleeve that throws people and often you can feel when someone's being generic and saying something to say it but he does not seem like that the more familiar you get with his vibe. His message to Sadie was so sweet - I think they're pretty close, too. It seems that way and I guess for some reason I didn't expect that or know that before this more recent deep dive into all the inter-cast relationships. Sadie and Finn being his close friends makes sense, how they both seem more on the low key and down to earth end of personality - and how that probably plays well with excitable Noah, a good contrast and balance that's really compatible.

All in all - this only continues to showcase how different the chemistry is overall for him and Finn. No matter what... it's just different.

[captaindarksword]

on ship wars

ship wars can be so unbelivably toxic where you smear the people who ship the other ship and the  character in the way of your ship  and try to vilify them

but its worse if there is a difference in race  like aship involving 2 white people vs a ship with a mixed couple and if you the people who ship the one involving a mixed race pairing will claim racism

and it applies when its a same sex ship vs het ship for people will turn shipping the same sex ship as the same as advocacy for lgbt community ignoring the lgbt people who ship the het ship over the same sex ship. 

They will throw around words like homophobia or misogyny to things that arent those things like just not shipping b/lake and y/ang pairing

claiming if you dont ship the same sex ship you are a homophobe saying you would ship it if it was m/f. 

find that the shippers who say that are the ones who only ship bb because it’s two girls

a same sex ship being canon doesnt mean that anyone who isnt a homophobe wont say anything bad about it. It doesnt mean its exempt from being criticism or should be treated as a good thing just because lgbt rep

 a f/f pairing was a last minute retcon thrown in at the last 2 minutes breaking then narrative pointing to the female character  getting back together with her ex  who she broke up due to mutual flaws which they overcame they werent ready for a relationship  with anyone)  eventually and it  required the girl to be ooc

the two girls  were barely friends and barely interacted with each other people needed to make headcanons to support the ship like claiming they talked throughout the entire timeskip when k/rra just sent one letter near the end

the male was able to support the girl the way she needed to  be supported the other girl wasnt  only being able to refer to the girls position as why we need you when seeing her as just that title is her problem

it doesnt matter that its the first show with a same sex ship it doesnt matter that without it the show wouldnt have any canon same sex ships all that matters is the simple question does it fit the narrative is it good writing move . are the characters compatible etc people dont need to support that ship to care about the lgbt community 

this reminds me of the comment about certain extreme section which can be split between otaku yuri fetishists and the sjw ones who see it as advocacy and will automatically ship the same sex pairing over the het one and say the same sex ships are better. like the person saying that its straight enemies to lovers thats bad.

when no its either they support enemies to lovers or dont if you try to differentate based on genders involved you are the bigot.  it doesnt matter that there arent that many same sex ships you shouldnt automatically support a ship just based on the genders involved.  

you shouldnt give support to f/f enemies to lovers than claim straight enemies to lovers is bad

if a het ship gets years of buildup but is thrown away you shouldnt then defend it when you would be angered if it was a same sex ship that was given years of buildup teasing mutual attraction and development but thrown away to put her with a guy 

and you shouldnt use the well side character argument when you wouldnt use that argument to say that a same sex ship shouldnt happen

basically imagine a case where say a main character ( lets say a girl) was given years of teasing mutual attraction etc with a female side character  but then after she gets put on a bus due to being well a side character and wanting mroe focus on main cast the woman ended up being pushed with a male mc

if that would upset you you shouldnt use the side character argument to say the girl shouldnt end up with a male side character.

  you are no different  from the people who you conjured in your mind who would ship the het ship over the same sex ship just because its het.

I imagine that team rwby pairings came out after the trailers came out in part due to it being an all girl team etc and they would see evidence in the most minor platonic of moments

[keroseneinhalers]

my lest relationship was this white guy who was super obsessed with kpop (and prior to this point) had only dated asian women which probably should have been a warning but in my defense i only learned this after we started dating. the guy before that consumed my blood and asked me to raceplay with him and then cried to me for months but like i was annoyed by this because WE WERENT REALLY EVEN DATING…we just had sex after knowing each other like three days that was me having a manic episode step down sir. i only slept with him because my boyfriend of a year (my longest ever relationship!!!) had just broken up with me over snapchat because i realized i was indeed Not a Well Adjusted person and also like…we were not compatible. of course i was always more obsessed with his ex girlfriend (long time followers remember the fanart i drew of me and her holding hands!) and i would ask him to talk about her all the time (he was also not over her). and before that i just dated some random guy who was honestly probably bullying me but we had a great time until he dumped me to get drunk and make out with a girl and i ignored him for a year but actually we were great friends all throughout high school which was to say we would always do labs and projects together because he hated school and i hated people. so im not allowed to date people anymore ^.^ unless a girl asks in which case i think it should be okay and less traumatic because i hate when men touch me

got into my first relationship at fourteen after quite literally never having a had a friend in my entire life (complex environmental factors but also i used to sit in my room and paint yaoi in my own blood at like age ten so) and i have to say that probably wasn’t the greatest idea because from that point on i’ve just been kinda dating people so i have someone to talk to and leaving a trial of victims in my wake

[edwardslostalchemy]

Sometimes you just gotta leave people behind so you can heal. And it hurts to do it, but ultimately if it helps you in the long run, do it. Your life will be better and you will find better people, and the people that are already in your life will be there for you.

[davidpastrsnack]

buckle up besties, roommate anon is about to make you literally cry with this recap

(1) ok so. tyler’s family were scary but they ended up being so nice. when we first got there his brother asked me how much tyler paid me to be there 💀 tyler nudged him and said knock it off. then his brother said “well tyler, glad youre finally bringing a girl home” and his mom had come in just then. and scolded ty’s brother lol. his sister just said hi from the couch and ty went up to her and whispered something. and then they did a handshake which was so cute 🥺 i asked ty’s mom if she needed help with dinner. she took me up on that. it was nice talking to her. she was really sweet. we talked and even got to joking around. so thats good. ty’s dad came home in the meantime and said hi. he talked to me a bit too. ty’s sister was still a bit standoff-ish at dinner. she wasnt mean. just didnt really interact with me. she was the hardest to win over. but she did compliment my outfit. i appreciated that i changed three times she mentioned she needed new clothes for when school starts. i told her if she needed a shopping buddy to let me know. and she was like “really? can we go tomorrow?” and i looked at ty bc i had no clue what he had planned. and he sighed and was like “well i had plans to show her around tomorrow” and i gave him a look and he goes “but i guess we can do that after you guys get back” so next day i woke up before ty and got ready. then just sat there until he was up bc i was too scared to go downstairs alone lol. when we did go it was just his parents awake. his mom had me sit with them while ty made coffees lol. his mom told me they enjoyed having me here. and that tyler hasnt brought a girl over since his hs gf. who wasnt allowed to spend the night lol. and she told me he seemed really happy and…in l-word with me 🙈🙈🙈 oh and she said to not pay too much attention to his sister’s behavior bc she’s just jealous she’s not getting all of ty’s attention lmao. then later i took his sister shopping. we found a pair of earrings we both thought were cute so i bought myself and her a pair. she was really thankful and sweet. we ended up talking and she warmed up to me. especially when i said “you know youre just as amazing as tyler says” and she was like “what?” and i said “he talks about you all the time. i was really excited to meet you because he always says youre his best friend” i think she started to like me more after that. idk i tried to show her that im not stealing her brother from her lol. oh and me and her talked about boys and she mentioned this one guy. i was like oh is he cute and she blushed. i go omg do you have a crush on him. she was so red and told me i couldnt tell ty lol. when we got back though, ty’s brother had friends over. they were asking his sister who her friend was. she rolled her eyes lol. so sassy. then they were introducing themselves to me and ty’s brother was like “she’s not interested. she’s in college and is my brother’s girlfriend” i had to hold myself back from laughing that im in college came first and then ty’s gf. but in their introductions i learned that the boy ty’s sister has a crush on is her brother’s friend 🙈 oh girl. i gave her a look. she ran upstairs to put her stuff away lol.

(2) oh and during all this ty was at the store bc his mom sent him to run errands lol. so i chilled with her. helped her get some stuff ready since we were doing a cookout for dinner that night. ty finally came back. his mom shooed us out of the kitchen and told us to go have fun and then when we were putting on our shoes to go she yells “not too much fun though” 🙈 ty’s brother and his friends were snickering. high schoolers smh 🙈 so ty drove us and showed me around. it was fun. it was cute hearing his stories and memories and seeing how excited he got at some things. tbh i think i was giving him heart eyes more than i was looking around 🙈🙈 idk if i can explain it. just seeing him in his element. and a whole new level of relaxed and at home and domestic. idk. maybe youll get it 🙈 he also asked me how shopping with his sister went. so i told him about that minus her crush i aint a snitch. and i told him about his brothers comment lol. he goes “he’s so ridiculous he literally told his friend there was gonna be a college girl at his house. and he told me that you were too hot for me” that one made me giggle. ty said he smacked his brother for that one lol. i said “well i think you’re too hot for me. i mean look at you” he said “what the fuck are you talking about. i’m the luckiest guy in the world for managing to snag you” which 🥺🥺🥺 he was driving so i leaned over and kissed his cheek. bc it was so cute. and kate🙈🙈🙈 bestie 🙈🙈🙈 im only telling you this (and my other anon friends) bc i trust you guys. i havent told anyone else 🙈 but… i was really close to saying the three words to him 🙈🙈 really really close. but i got scared 🙈 it feels too soon. or that maybe its just in my head bc of what his mom said. idk.

(3) i maybe repeated some of this bc i forgot where i left off. we drove around some more. parked and walked around at a few stops. i maybe asked him about his hs gf 🙈 he said they werent really compatible and she was nice but they were better as friends and dated more bc of the pressure of dating. he was very open and honest about it though and that just made me more 🥺 we went to a park with a really nice overlook. then you have to walk through a forest and theres another more secluded one. we were going to kiss but i said “did you take all the girls here” and he said “no, i actually only ever came here alone. youre the only one” and i gave him a 🥺 look. he was a little pink. and i really really wanted to say it again 🙈 but i just kissed him instead. and then we made out 🙈🙈 for a decent amount of time actually. it felt like we were the ones in hs lol. then we were gonna go back. but our lips were a little swollen and red 🙈 so we went to get ice cream instead. then we went back to ty’s. his brother made a comment about us being gone for a while and was smirking. ty flicked him😭 oh and omg kate this was so cute 🥺 so they have these really cute lights in their backyard. his mom is super trendy lol. and they had music playing the whole time. eventually everyone went inside. they refused to let me help bc i had helped enough. i told ty i wanted to sit outside some more. it was so cute out there. the music was playing softly and i was cuddled up with ty and wearing his sweatshirt. it was a good vibe and i wanted to enjoy it.

(4) so we were sitting there quietly. he was just rubbing my shoulder with his thumb since his arm was around my shoulders. and then omg kate 🙈 this is so cheesy 🙈 thinking out loud by ed sheeran came on. ty got up and held his hand out. and asked “dance with me?” i had the biggest grin on my face and nodded. so we danced in his backyard 🙈 just like swayed back and forth nothing fancy. he was spinning me around and i was laughing. eventually we weren’t even dancing just laughing and swaying and trying to get each other to spin 🙈🙈🙈 until he finally pulled me in and we swayed again. i really almost said it again 🙈 but then he leaned down and kissed me. it was soft and sweet. we didnt stay out too long after that. but then we got ready for bed and stuff and he ran downstairs bc his brother used his phone charger and left it downstairs. and when he came back up he was so red. and i was like “are you good? did you just run a marathon or something?” and he flopped down on the bed next to me and groaned. he goes “my whole family saw that” and i said “saw what” and he goes “us dancing and the kiss. i just got hardcore roasted” and then i was like “oh” and he goes “my mom and sister think were adorable. my dad said i need to learn how to dance” which made me laugh. and then he goes “my brother told me my kissing game was weak and my mom glared at him and said it was respectful, which is how you should treat girls.” i hid my face in his chest and said ty this is so embarrassing. he said “your fault for laughing so hard it got their attention” but he said it jokingly lol. i said “maybe take your dads advice and learn to dance so i dont have to laugh” which made him laugh and squeeze my side. that made me squeal and i go oh no that was so loud. tyler was cracking up. but then he got serious and told me he was glad i was getting along with his family 🥺 he told me i fit with them well and that hes glad i was able to bond with his siblings, especially his sister 🥺🥺🥺

(4? 5? fuck i forgot again) and then today i woke up first before anyone else. so i threw on tyler’s sweatshirt and went and sat outside again. just enjoyed the morning. ty’s mom came out and asked me how i slept and all that. then told me she saw us two dancing last night. and she told me her son was clearly in l-word with me and then she smirked over her coffee mug and said “i think the feelings mutual” and took a sip of her drink. SHES SUCH A SAVAGE 🙈🙈🙈 i took a sip of my coffee just so i didnt have to respond and i could feel my whole face was on fire. but then she goes “you two are really sweet and im glad you make him so happy” and i said “he makes me happy too. you raised a great guy” and she smiled at me. then she told me stories about her and her husband meeting and stuff. and also about raising tyler. then his dad came out and brought breakfast. he also added in some stories. oh and his mom asked for my number and she sent me a few pictures she took of me and ty when we were sitting outside and when we were dancing 🙈🙈 idk how neither of us noticed them watching us through the window. but the pictures were cute. ty and his brother came downstairs and also ate with us. then ty and i went on a walk around their neighborhood which was nice and peaceful. when we got back we chilled with his family some more. his sister was awake too and asked me to help her with makeup. so we went to her room. and she was like “you and my brother are cute” 🥺 and she goes “that kiss was like a movie kiss” and i blushed 🙈 she told me how she hasnt had her first kiss and asked me about mine and stuff. it was kinda cute that she trusted me to like ask questions and be open. she was more open about her crush too and told me how he talked to her yesterday and gushed about how cute he was. i just let her go with it lol. and then she told me it was nice having a girl to talk to like a sister bc she cant talk to her brothers about that stuff 🥺🥺 so i told her if she ever wanted to talk she could reach out to me. so now she follows me on insta and has my number lol. then we sat with the fam again and had lunch and then it was time for ty and i to leave. everyone in his family gave me a hug 🥺 and they told me i should visit again 🥺 so it started off really scary but his family dynamic is so cute and they were all nice.

[thirsthourdemon]

Yuu Nishinoya

I honestly feel like Yuu nishinoya doesnt get enough credit in the simping community. I understand everyone loves him as a comical relief and a great libero but I have rarely seen writers who do write about nishinoya. I get that most girls want their tall boys and that they want to be towered over but I am here to prove that Yuu Nishinoya is worth simping for.



Exhibit A: He’s a supportive friend

Yuu nishinoya is the type of person that will tell you that they will really punch you if you keep saying bad stuff about yourself. He will support you through everything you want to do as long as he knows you’re safe. Being a supportive friend also means he can be a very supportive S/O. We joke around simps a lot but let’s be real it feels really nice when someone in the crowd says you’re amazing even when everyone else isnt that interested and that is Nishinoya. He will be that boyfriend that does whatever he can for you not because he’s a simp well yes but not the point he will do it because he wants you to see him through his eyes. You see how he is with shimizu? That’s how he’ll be with you and more.



Exhibit B: He will never make fun of you for your insecurities

Out of all the people Nishinoya, korai and hinata knows how it feels to be underestimated because of how small they are. Nishinoya out of the three is the smallest one and even shoyo for a certain extent “Looked down on him”. Nishinoya will never make you feel like your appearance because what about your appearance? He saw you as the most beautiful person out there! There wasnt anything wrong with you and If you wanted to change then he’d allow you to change as long as it was your decision and not because you felt pressured. He would pick a fight with any one who insulted you because ARE THEY BLIND?! Their S/O was like a gift from the heavens! As a crow he would sure want to peck their eyes out! You were/are/will be beautiful in his eyes.



Exhibit C: Polishing skills (Supportiveness 2)

As we all know he loves showing you how amazing you are. He did it to Asahi and that man is like one of the most insecure characters I’ve seen in the show. He wont just cheer you on but he will help polish your skills. He might not look it but nishinoya is the type to learn but his way of learning is different. He doesnt get by with books however if you tell him that you’re learning how to paint or to do calligraphy? He will MOST DEFINITELY give you the time and space to do your thing. We saw that in season 1 nishinoya got bruises when he was training a certain style and I see him totally doing something like grind up ink sticks or help cover your room with newspaper so you wont get paint anywhere. He will help you polish your skill because he knows you will help him polish his by throwing a few balls or making him food. Speaking of making him food...



Exhibit D: FLEXING

He is just so...HAPPY! If you ever made this boy a boxed lunch, a lucky charm, a sign or wear his jersey to a game? He will appreciate you so much that he shouts it to the rooftops. If you gave him something like a lucky charm that he can wear? Let’s say a little bracelet or anklet? He will wear it and take care of it. He will even show you off to his friends or the whole school if he could! I dont know about you guys but I love being flexed because I like having my small ego stroked okay? Hahaha anyways nishinoya appreciates and it gives him so much strength that he gets pumped to the point it overflows sometimes. He will walk around holding your hand and even swinging it just to tell everyone that “LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BEING! I AM WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL PERSON!”. Overall...

He be flexin you like how a kid would flex around the stars that they got that school day.









Why I love nishinoya:

I honestly love a lot of guys from haikyuu but I know that out of all of them...The most compatible with me werent the ones that I mostly simp for such as kenma or ushijima. I wouldnt be compatible with them and Im sure of it because I hate silence. I dont like it when people dont talk to me when they want something. I cant handle it because though for me I dont see any reason to I understand that some people have a really hard time at it. Nishinoya would be the most compatible because he will tell you what he wants and if he doesnt he actually will be so obvious that you dont need to hear from his lips anymore because he basically gave it away like him giving you his shirt “Just in case” he comes over even though you live like right next to him? He obviously wants you to wear it! Noya at the same time is the type of person who hypes everyone up and me being me I know I hype up everyone in my proximity. It will just be me and noya Hyping each other up because we both think the other deserves it! Being flexed. I cannot tell you enough how I melt when someone actually flexes me to their friends or their social media. Im sorry but It’s an insecurity of mine that Im not worth being shown off thats why my previous relationships never did. Oops- Anyways noya is noya. His supportive nature, his passion and his goofy personality basically screams I would go good with him HAHAHAHA

NO MORE SELF INDULGENTS 😤

[appareils-futiles]

Nueva York, Te 💕 Amare Siempre

‘’New York is sophisticated. New York is captivating. New York is enticing. New York is romantic. Especially when it rains.’’  I saw ‘’ A Rainy Day in New York’’ the other day (coincidentally started this post then and Tumblr decided to delete it, ghetto, I know) and it was the typical Woody Allen film, always raining, same cadence, same story. Ok, fine. Whatever, the point it is, it was predictable. It wasn’t bad, it’s definately rewatchable if you can stand an uber perky Elle Fanning somehow getting 4 different men to fall in love with her in one day. It’s no Midnight in Paris. Seems like much was left to the imagination. Like Inez said in Midnight in Paris, ‘‘Why does every city got to be in the rain?’‘  Paul responds:  And no global warming, no TV and suicide bombing, and nuclear weapons, drug cartels.   But anywho, the scene where she walks into the Carlyle with nothing but a raincoat on bothered me, cause I’m like ‘’you left your shoes back at Francisco’s place so how do you have them on now?’’, then how she could never remember the hotel they are staying at...where all her stuff is. Ditzy blonde at it’s finest. But when Gatsby offers to get her coffee and tells her to take off the wet raincoat, she says she can’t cause she’s not wearing anything underneath, and Gatsby is literally not even bothered. I mean, it’s safe to assume she was messing with another guy because she’s got her bra and panties but no clothes. A raincoat that isn’t hers. No umbrella and she’s exhausted so she was running in the pouring rain in a city she doesn’t know and has no idea where to go.   She cant tell Gatsby because she left everything Francisco’s place. Yet, he’s unbothered. Why? Because he at that point developed feelings for Chan. So it was whatever. I figured she’d tell him the deets and then he’d get upset. Yes, he’s eccentric and slightly snotty and you can tell from the jump that a city boy who said he transferred from Yale and has rich ass parents and a girl from Tuscon, Arizona who is also wealthy and a beauty queen, yet clearly ditzy you can tell they werent compatible. Did he get mad? No. She said that Rolland (much older director) had asked her to go to Europe with him. Run away!....not a peep from Gatsby, his agent, fell for her after running around town looking for Rolland and catching his wife cheating with his best friend, not a peep from Gatsby, she drank with and almost slept with Francisco, a huge movie star, she kissed him, took of her clothes and was literally not caring about Gatsby that she’s willing to sleep with this star.  Not a peep from Gatsby, my guy was unbothered. In the carriage ride, he realized they were incompatible when ol girl had the audacity to confuse Shakespeare with Cole Porter: "The roaring traffic's boom. Silence in my lonely room." the expression on his face was priceless. I replayed it a few times. And he dumps her. He drops out of college, comes back to the city and starts seeing Chan, who he’s clearly more compatible with. (weird cause he dated her older sister, presumibly in HS, which was like 2 yrs before)  ‘’ I need a carbon monoxide to survive. We are two different creatures, right? You like the sound of crickets and I like the rattle of the taxies. You blossom in the sun and me, I come into my own under grey skies.’’ --Gatsby to Ashleigh   And that’s it, that’s the movie. Literally that’s the movie. The B stories don’t matter.  ‘’One thing about New York City. You are here or you are nowhere. You cannot achieve another level of anxiety, hostility or paranoia anywhere else.’’  But anywho, the whole point of this post was for me to talk about how much I love my city. (Im actually from The Bronx, but whatever) I love this city, like Adriana said in Midnight in Paris ‘’ That Paris exists and anyone could choose to live anywhere else in the world will always be a mystery to me. ‘‘ Switch Paris to New York and there you have me. I left New York in 2014 because I had to. I moved to Po-dunk Virginia, went through hell and back and somehow didn’t blow my brains out. Mostly because I was too broke to afford a gun. Many times I considered it but who would care? I got the opportunity to go to Texas, and I took it. As a last ditch effort to not you know, die. The plan was the same as previously mentioned for Virginia, get some type of degree. A 2 year, maybe vet tech and after saving some money, learning how to take the buses and have some experience, (6 months) cause the whole 3 year situation was never a thought!....and head back to NY. That didnt work out. Clearly. But that’s a whole other post that I can’t possibly begin to unpack right now.  And here I am. Again. In the Bronx. With not a damn thing but a bad shoulder, anxiety, depression, a temper and a crippled hand to show for it. You’d think I’d at least get my GED. And I havent but it’s not for my lack of trying.  Even with it’s dark, gritty, rats, and dollar pizzas. It’s mine. It’s my city. It’s the greatest city in the world. And  8.80 million people can’t be wrong. Ok, Im upset now, I’ll carry on later. 1.30.22. m722

[diggersofgraves]

My best friend and I almost never show affection to each other

Actually we do, physically. But never with words. I've never even called her my best friend to her face. Or in messages. Or told her that she means anything to me 😤 bc she knows it. And ik I mean something to her too.

Well, we were joking abt astrology signs and how we're not compatible and she said smthn like, "we've known each other for a really long time, I feel like if we had a reason to hate each otherx we wouldve found it at this point"

And I said, "idk, what if it just hasnt happened yet?? What if I crash ur car and u stop talking to me"

She said, "nah ive crashed b4, I wouldnt put anyone through that feeling. Plus, we've had SO many chances to stop talking to each other" (which is true, in middle school we were in the same classes, but barely talked to each other without other ppl around. In high school we werent in any of the same classes until the very end where we had like 2-3 together- 9th grade is when we became closer friends- and for college she stayed in our hometown and I went across the state. Like, if we had just STOPPED it prob wouldve just seemed like life's natural course 🤷🏽‍♀️)

And jokingly, I responded, "yeah. WHY havent we stopped talking???? You like me dont you?? Ayyyy, I knew it!"

And she just said no, then changed the subject.

But at this point I was like, nah I'm gonna get this bitch to say she likes me, maybe once in our friendship we can admit that we enjoy each others company 😤😤

So i said, "well I like you 😤 now ur the bad guys for not liking me" -please note this is all teasing and this is how we usually joke around-

And she KEPT IGNORING PARTS OF WHAT I WAS SAYING!! Like.... she would only take one part of my conversation and respond to that but never the liking part.

Till suddenly she said, "I like me too" and then "wait, what are we talking about???" And that's what I realized...... this bitch thought I was confessing my love to her or something.

I've played those same tactics before on other ppl. And ik she has too.

Nd I quickly responded, "about our FRIENDSHIP BITCH. and how u hate me"

And only then. Only then did she realize i was joking around. And she suddenly became playful again and began joking back, telling me about our signs not matching and finally saying she does like me.

But at that point i didnt really care anymore.

Bc homegirl really thought that

1) I had feelings for her

2) i was confessing my feelings to her over text messages (we're reall fucking close, if I did have feelings for her, she deserves to have it said in person 😤

3) and that me confessing my feelings to her would entail simply the word "I like you" and not a whole ass paragraph explaining myself

Hg, I really do love you, you're my best friend, but u ain't catching me falling in love with any straight girls after high school. No way.

Anyways, meaningless story but it was such a weird experience.