#and i suffered for like a year. so i made my own

[heliosunny]

hiii, your work is amazing and I love the way you portrait characters, could I maybe request yan!fyodor with a darling that struggles with self harm? how he would react to it if their darling hurt themselves as a coping mechanism or any other scenario but if it’s too dark you don’t have to write it of course i’ll understand! :)

There's nothing I wouldn't dare to try as long as I find it within reach darling.

Fyodor had always known you were fragile.

It was written in the way you carried yourself, shoulders slightly hunched, fingers twitching when you thought no one was watching. It was evident in the way your gaze would drift, lost in thoughts he could only assume were far darker than you let on.

But he never pried. Not immediately.

Why would he? A master strategist does not rip a secret from its hiding place. He waits, watching patiently, until it reveals itself.

And one evening, it did.

You had been careless. You thought you were alone. A moment of weakness, your sleeves rolled up just a little too far, and he saw.

A glimpse of red, raw skin.

His reaction was not dramatic. There was no sharp intake of breath, no widening of violet eyes in horror. Instead, he merely observed, head tilting ever so slightly, as if studying a fascinating piece of art.

"My love… what have you done?"

His voice was soft. Almost fond.

You flinched. Quickly, you yanked your sleeve down, but it was too late. His gaze had already captured you, held you prisoner in his quiet amusement.

You had seen many expressions from Fyodor, mockery, arrogance, that soft smirk when he was toying with someone before their inevitable downfall.

But this smile? This was different.

"You hurt yourself" he mused, stepping closer, hands still calmly tucked behind his back. "And yet, you try to hide it from me. How cruel, my dear."

"It’s not important."

His head tilted further, as if humoring you. "Not important?"

You didn’t answer. And that was fine. He already knew what came next. He never forbade you from doing it. No, that would be too simple, too obvious. Fyodor was far more patient than that.

Instead, he made you question it yourself.

"Tell me, my love…" he began one evening, seated comfortably in his chair as you stood across from him. His violet eyes flickered with quiet amusement. "Does it help?"

The way he spoke made you hesitate. He wasn’t mocking you. He wasn’t disgusted. If anything, he sounded… curious.

You swallowed. "Sometimes."

His lips curled in a thoughtful smile. "I see. You inflict pain upon yourself, yet the relief is fleeting. A temporary solution for a permanent suffering, no?"

You looked away.

"Then… why not something more effective?"

Your brows furrowed, confused. "What do you mean?"

Fyodor reached for your hand, gently, effortlessly. His fingers traced over your knuckles before flipping your palm upward.

"If pain is what soothes you" he murmured, "why not let me be the one to grant it?"

He did not hurt you, no. He merely suggested, the way a devil offers a deal—so tempting, so logical, that you could almost convince yourself it was your own idea.

"Wouldn’t it be easier, my dear? To leave such things in my hands?" His voice was velvet, wrapping around your ribs, coiling into your lungs.

"I could make it so much simpler for you."

You yanked your hand away.

"That’s— That’s not why I do it."

His laughter was soft. Patient.

"Oh? Then why?"

You hesitated.

Because you couldn’t answer. Not really.

-----

You hadn’t meant to meet him.

It was a brief moment, an accident born from circumstances neither of you controlled. You had merely been outside, alone for the first time in what felt like forever, when the infamous Dazai Osamu happened to cross your path.

His sharp brown eyes took you in too quickly, and you knew—he saw.

"Ah," he hummed, tilting his head. "I know that look."

Your breath caught. "What?"

"The look of someone trying very hard to pretend they’re fine."

It was… strange. He spoke so easily, as if he had known you for years.

For the first time, someone looked at you and didn’t try to control, didn’t try to manipulate. Dazai wasn’t kind, necessarily, but he was familiar. He understood in a way no one else had.

And for some reason, before you could stop yourself—you told him things you never told Fyodor.

You shouldn’t have.

Because Fyodor found out.

"You met Dazai."

His voice was calm.

You turned, heart hammering. He sat in his usual chair, fingers laced together, expression unreadable.

But you knew him well enough to recognize the shift in the air.

A quiet threat, veiled beneath his usual serenity.

"And?" you challenged, forcing yourself to stand your ground.

His lips curved. "And you spoke to him."

You didn’t respond.

"Why?"

A simple question. But one that wrapped around your ribs and squeezed.

"It was nothing important."

His gaze softened, and for some reason, that was worse.

"Ah… my love." He sighed, shaking his head. "You wound me."

He stood, approaching you with unhurried steps.

"I thought we had an understanding."

Your breath quickened.

"Do you not trust me?" he continued, voice gentle. "Do you believe I cannot soothe you in the way you need?"

You shook your head. "That’s not it—"

"Then why turn to him?" His fingers brushed against your cheek, a lover’s touch masking a noose tightening around your throat.

You clenched your fists. "It was a mistake."

"Yes," he agreed. "A mistake."

His gloved fingers trailed down your arm, slow, deliberate—until they reached your wrist. His grip remained featherlight, but you knew he could break you if he wished.

"You understand why I cannot allow that again, don’t you?"

You nodded.

"Good girl."

And somehow, in that moment, you felt guilt.

Not because you had spoken to Dazai.

But because Fyodor had endured it. Had been patient with you, despite your transgressions.

Your lips parted, and before you could stop yourself—the words slipped out.

"I’m sorry."

His smile widened.

And just like that, the web wrapped tighter around you.

Because now, you were the one apologizing to him.

At first, Fyodor’s patience seemed unchanging. He remained soft-spoken, ever indulgent, a shepherd gently guiding you back into his arms. But something felt different. A shadow in the way his fingers lingered when he touched you. A weight in his gaze, as if he were waiting for something inevitable.

You thought you were imagining it.

Until one night, when you woke to find yourself not alone.

A dim candle flickered on the bedside table.

And Fyodor sat at the edge of the bed, watching you with violet eyes that gleamed in the low light.

"Did you think I wouldn’t know?"

Your blood ran cold. "Know what?"

His smile was faint.

"You tried again."

No... You had been careful. You had waited until you were alone, ensured that no trace of your actions could be found. Yet now, beneath the thin fabric of your sleeve, you felt the sting of fresh wounds.

He knew.

Before you could react, his hand latched onto your wrist.

His grip was like iron.

"Shall I see it for myself, then?" His voice was still calm, but there was something new beneath it. Something dark.

"L-Let go."

His fingers didn’t loosen. If anything, they tightened, fingertips digging into your pulse. You felt it. His power.

"You are testing me, my dear" he murmured, thumb tracing slow, deliberate circles against your skin.

"I have been patient. I have been kind. But tell me—must I truly remind you of what happens when my patience runs out?"

You opened your mouth—then froze as he leaned in, his lips mere inches from your ear.

"Shall I break something this time?"

"W-What?"

His grip on your wrist shifted, slowly, deliberately bending it just enough for you to feel the hint of tension.

"If you are so intent on hurting yourself," he whispered, "then allow me to do it for you."

The unspoken implication struck you like ice-cold water.

He wasn’t saying he would kill you.

But he would make you regret it.

"Perhaps a broken bone?" His fingers trailed up your arm, slow and deliberate. "Or maybe I should take something away instead. Hm?"

His free hand moved to your throat, thumb pressing lightly, just a whisper of pressure.

"Would you like to learn how fragile you truly are?"

Terror gripped you, drowning out everything else.

"Stop" you whispered, voice barely audible.

He sighed, as if disappointed. "Then stop making me remind you."

And just like that, his grip vanished. His hands fell away, and suddenly, it was as if nothing had happened at all.

The only evidence of his warning was the lingering ghost of his touch and the way your pulse thundered in your ears. Fyodor straightened, brushing nonexistent dust from his coat.

"I do hope," he murmured, "that I won’t have to repeat this lesson."

And with that, he was gone, the flickering candlelight casting shadows on the walls.

And you sat there, heart hammering, mind spinning, body frozen in place, realizing just how close you had come to something you could never undo.

You had seen patience. Now, you had seen the edge of it.

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

Routine V

Mini Series

Wanda Maximoff x fem wife!reader

Summary: Routines can get tiring quickly, especially when you’re the only one working towards keeping them.

A/n: We meet again friends. I am very happy to be updating this fic once more. Also happy to inform that I have found a direction in which to take it!!! I hope you enjoy reading it.

Word count: 1400 approx

She was at a crossroads, there was nothing that she could do to stop you from leaving. She hadn’t stopped pacing the room since you left. That's when she saw it… Her saving grace. Maybe if she did this one thing she could at least open the door if not maybe just unlock it, something. At this point that was definitely better than nothing. Your passport and what looked like important papers were left sitting on the kitchen counter. You had left in a furious haze, something was meant to be left behind. You just didn’t think it would be your passport and work visa. That was the one thing that you thought you had in lock, the one thing that you couldn't forget… And you forgot it. Truthfully you knew that something was missing the moment that you stepped into the car with Kate, but you chalked it up to the stress that Wanda had caused.   

There was a time that anything that remotely felt like a fight was a no go. You never wanted to fight with Wanda, nothing about arguing with her seemed pleasant. In the beginning it was obvious she was scared and all of it was new. You danced around obvious issues the two of you had. One issue was a rather big one being Vision. It was strange their connection. It was something you knew would have easily gone the other way had you not been in the picture. They understood each other; you felt like the odd man out in your own relationship with her. It wasn’t until you exploded one day that the issue was addressed. Thinking back Wanda should have seen this coming. It almost ended the relationship before it really even began. She was tempted to call you, she really was. But she’d just crossed a very big boundary. Instead she texted Kate.

Her text was read almost immediately the text bubble kept appearing but nothing was sent. Wanda instead sent another message. ‘I’ll meet you at the gate, lose Y/n for a minute and I’ll give you her passport.’ She only received a thumbs up and she was on her way. It was high time Wanda started taking action. She wasn’t going to fail you now. 

You were lying. You had no idea where you got the confidence from but it was a complete lie. You loved her so much it hurt. She didn’t read your mind that time and it hurt that she believed you. Tears welled in your eyes, this day wasn’t supposed to go like this. You were supposed to leave peacefully, and now you had no idea what you were doing. She shook you. Wanda came into your life and turned it upside down and now she’s done it again. It was rough. Kate had been fidgety for the past twenty minutes. “Are you okay?” You managed to get the words out. She stilled wide eyed. “Uhm shouldn’t I be asking you that?” You hummed. “Probably… I’m just tired of the same thing over and over again.” You sighed. “There are so many things that I wanted to say. But she was right in front of me and the words disappeared.” Kate nodded, her eyes still fixed on the road. 

“Do you think… that uhm you’ll get back together?” She asked the obvious question. It only made your shoulders deflate more. Not because she asked, “It’s not up to me.” but because of how pitiful the answer was. And it was entirely up to her. You hadn't even been able to bring yourself to draft the papers. The fear that she’d actually sign them still managed to keep you up at night. What if she did, what then? “My heart… it aches constantly. Like something was ripped from me.” Kate cleared her throat. “You’re leaving Y/n… You're going abroad for god knows how long.” You nodded. “How else can I show her what she’s doing to me? Years Kate I’ve put up with it for years.” Kate nodded. “I did not suffer in silence, I let her know at every turn how she was compromising us.” Your words were laced with anger and conviction. And so quickly the sadness gave way to raw anger.  

Wanda felt she should have thought this entire situation out more. Here she was in her car on her way to the airport, filled with hundreds if not thousands of people. And the most daunting part being that you’re unaware. Her mind was already starting to hold her hostage. She made the treck mostly on autopilot. Then there was the whole getting through security, nothing her powers couldn’t handle. Only she somehow couldn’t. She had not felt this lack of control since ultron, she was tripping where she had learned repeatedly not to. It was overwhelming navigating through the masses of people trying to get to their flights, homes, families. Everyone's thoughts traversed constantly. Eventually and not without struggle she had found Kate, near a coffee shop.

“Finally! I thought you’d make this hard for me.” Kate’s words washed right through her. The only thing she could hear now was an angry ring, mocking her. She shook her head softly trying to dissipate the sound. Then she stilled, she could sense it. Her powers out of pure reflex sought you out. And another pang of sadness ran through her. She’d never been able to sense your anger. A slap in the face a testament as to how unwelcome she truly was. A tug at her arm brought her back. She was clutching your passport in her hand. The folder already in Kate’s possession. Kate sighed. “Are you okay?” She relented and finally asked the question. That seemed to snap her out of whatever trance she was in. She let go of the Passaport like it burned her. Kate noticed her distress and asked again. “My powers… are acting up, I'll be fine.” Kate nodded, not fully convinced. 

Kate had decided she’d throw Wanda a life line. She did not think someone could make a change so drastically in a matter of hours. This Wanda that was standing in front of her was not the same one she witnessed yell indignantly at you. This Wanda looked defeated, vulnerable. “She’s still waiting for you…” Kate said. Taking the woman in, and for a moment she wasn’t sure Wanda had heard her. Then tears started rolling down her face. “I don’t think she is…” the words came out tersely and clipped. “She's angry, she has every right to be. That doesn’t change the fact that she’s waiting… so give her time.” Kate sighed, taking a step back. “Fight for her…” She turned on her heel and walked away. Wanda seconds later managed to do the same. Her resolve slowly cemented.

Kate made her way back just as you started looking for her. She looks slightly flushed. Two coffees in hand, a folder tucked in between her arm and torso. Your eyes widened at the sight. “I didn’t even realize I was missing that!” You exclaimed. Taking a cup out of her hand, and the folder at the same time. “Kate, you're a lifesaver.” She nodded, taking a long sip of her drink. Then silence followed, you could have sworn you felt something. It made your heart race. You remembered the familiar feeling. A slight fuzz just out of reach in your mind. You couldn’t help but look around. Could it be, or was it just her lingering in your mind. Then once again Kate brought you back into the present. “Here your boarding group is about to be called.” Kate pulled you up from your seat making toward the line now forming.

Right as your ticket was scanned. She pulled you to the side slightly. “Promise you’re coming back.” You managed a small smile. “I will, I don’t think your mother will keep me away forever.” You joked. Keeping an eye on the people boarding. Kate nodded trying to reassure herself. “You forgot your passport… she brought them here. That's why I was gone for a minute.” Your heart started racing. “I didn’t want to keep it from you.” Then before you could even respond an airline worker was ushering through into the boarding tunnel. The last thing Kate managed to say was for you to call her when you landed. 

A/n: Please leave a like if you liked it!!! Late because I completely forgot to schedule. :(

Tag list: @fxckmiup @username23345 @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ 

[velvetvexations]

Recently I made a survey for two cis allies - both women, one involved in discourse, one very much not, for contrast - to get a look at their perspective. This is nowhere near scientific, but hopefully it works as a small look at how the cis people in our camp view and relate to us.

Thank you and so much love to the participants. <3 You are vitally necessary.

Questions and answers the cut!

Do you know anyone IRL who’s trans? Co-workers, friends, family?

No, live somewhere more small and rural, so the chance of meeting any queer people, much less ones open about it, is slim.

I knew one trans girl in middle school, and I have a cousin who's a trans woman.

Have you ever considered being trans, or had any adjacent unusual feelings about your own gender?

I have, but I've ultimately arrived at "I don't know, I don't care, whatever". Maybe somewhere agender-adjacent, if I'd have to put a word to it? I ultimately don't consider myself trans, though.

No. I very strongly identify as a cis woman.

Are you a fan of any trans content creators?

I don't think so? I don't consider myself a fan of a lot of content creators in general.

Yes, I'm pretty sure.

Do you feel you think often about trans people’s struggles?

Yes.

I try to think about and participate in activism in a lot of different areas that don't directly affect me, so yes, sometimes.

Would you consider yourself knowledgeable about trans issues?

More than the average cis person, at least.

Not really, but I think that's mainly because I never want to feel like I'm overstepping, since I'm a cis woman.

In what ways do you feel the plight of trans people is similar to the suffering of cis women under the patriarchy? How is it different?

Both trans people and cis women (and a lot of cis men, really) suffer from being forced into a box. You have to be this way, and you do not get any say. If you aren't, you're either broken and shouldnt have agency (for your own good), or a threat. People will dish out violence and try to remove your rights to force you into that box, and punish you for stepping outside of it. I think these issues are heavily linked, and while the specifics of what each demographic faces is different (nevermind intersections), i believe the overall problem is the same; what society wants you to be, and how they want you to be it.

I think it's similar in that trans people are discriminated against and we cis women are also discriminated against, like, on a systemic level. The specifics are different, though.

Do you feel that you've ever contributed to transphobia in society?

Yeah. Especially when i was younger, and haven't examined any of it yet. Growing up in a transphobic society inevitably left me with some stuff to work out, and I've done my best to do so, and i will continue to. That's the important part, i think.

Not that I know of, and I would feel really bad if I thought I had accidentally.

Do you believe trans women or trans men have “male privilege”? 

No, that's a really loaded term. Individual trans people may get some advantages in certain settings depending on how they're perceived, but I don't think any of them can really be considered to get any gendered form of privilege, considering their gender is directly what makes them marginalized. Hiding your identity in order to not be mistreated isn't a privilege, it's a result of being oppressed.

I don't think so. This isn't an issue where I feel comfortable speaking as I said. Not that I know of, though.

Do you think things have gotten better or worse for trans people in the last ten years?

Besides the... recent pushback, as a whole, yes.

I think it's a mixture of both, but that's just my outside perspective.

Are you optimistic about where the struggle for trans rights is headed?

I refuse to be anything but. No matter what happens, there will always be trans people, and there will always be allies, and we'll continue fighting. There's simply no other option.

Once again, it's hard to tell as an outsider. Things seem mixed.

How would you react to a trans person being transphobic in your presence? Forex: misgendering someone they dislike.

Just correct them/express my disapproval as i would if they were cis, really? Transphobia is transphobia.

I would feel uncomfortable. Since I'm cis, I don't know if I would feel comfortable saying something, though.

Do you have any message you’d like to give as an ally?

Don't let anyone convince you you're alone in this, and that cis people are all against you. We're here, we love you, and we'll continue to fight for you. Please, don't give up. The world is a better place for having you in it.

Yeah, just that if there's anything I can ever do to support people I would love to!

[autumn-sweet-fae]

Ok so I was thinking some more about that Zaun fam au fic concept, and my brain came up with a few more additions.

For Viktor:

Viktor has a scar of the acceleration rune stone imprinted onto his left palm. Also starts to show small signs of being touched by the arcane (like his hair naturally growing those blonde streaks he had again)

Viktor was at first resistant to being loved and cared for after all he has done in his past life, but the adults are persistent. They see how he suffers from nightmares and struggles to even speak most days. They notice his talents for gadgets and are supportive. Vander introducing Viktor to Benzo and his shop while Silco has stolen engineering books smuggled in from Piltover.

The memories of Viktors past start to blur over time. No longer sharp enough to cut him as they once did. He often wonders about Jayce, and is often caught staring at his scarred hand. (He might tell his found family a lil about Jayce, being someone he was very close to and was separated from, but not much else)

Now, a fun overarching element to this story, to build up an antagonist for the extra Drama. After all, the goal is to soften up Silco by inflicting fatherhood onto him earlier, so this would be a great chance to introduce the other bad bitch chembaron of Zaun,

Renata Glasc

Health wise, I think Vander and Silco would want to get Viktor properly checked up, and would take him to the best pair of Doctors in all of Zaun at the Glasc family clinic.

The married Doctor duo are treasured and protected in Zaun. Their clinic being neutral territory to any potential gang violence. A policy their fierce daughter Renata and her friends will enforce.

(Silco and Renata Glasc would be friends. She also runs a side business scamming topsiders to help support the clinic, and Silco helps her cover her tracks and smuggles needed supplies.)

Viktor trying to answer the doctors questions about his health without sounding like an adult who’s been in and out of hospitals for over a decade would be funny. He does steer them in the direction of his lungs and gets an X-ray. They find concerning minor damage that, if untreated, could progress into something worse in his future.

So Viktor leave the clinic with a bottle of their specially made medicine, an inhaler, and instructions to carry a breathing mask on him at all times and to use when needed. It’s all so much more than he could have hoped.

Meanwhile, Silco and Renata’s side hustle does very well for the next few years… until it all comes crashing down.

One day, Renata stops at the Last Drop after returning from a job in Piltover, planing to accompany Silco and Viktor to the teenagers next appointment, and to talk business in the way.

Only for them to reach the clinic and find both it and the surrounding buildings engulfed in flames.

Enforcers are holding the line, preventing anyone from crossing to fight the flames or try to save anyone. Insisting that they have it under control and that a crew was on the way.

Silco and others manages to distract them enough to Renata to break through and disappear into the burning clinic.

It’s not until after the flames are finally put out that Renata is found, alive but her arm horrifically burned beyond all use. Her parents are little more than charred remains.

Later, after Renata had her dead arm removed and is recovering in a spare room at The Last Drop, as her own home is currently cinders, she tells Silco what she saw. When she was in the burning building. When she found her parents bodies, with their necks sliced open and heir lab ransacked. The fire was just a cover up… her parents were murdered. And she Knows it was Piltover doing.

Once she’s healed enough, she leaves, but not before she makes sure to thank Viktor. If she hadn’t stopped by to walk him and Silco to the clinic, she very well might have been murdered as well. She won’t forget this.

It’s after these murders of such beloved members of the community that the unrest in the undercity is reaching a fever pitch.

The bridge riot takes place only weeks after.

[kpopsexstories]

One-shot #20: NCT Jisung "Mind Blowing" Sex with Haechan's Sister Pt. 1/3

This is the 20th story of my broader Mixed One-shots series. It's a response to this request: "Can I request a story about NCT Jisung having sex with Haechan sister, but these days Jisung is more experienced and better, which leads to mind-blowing sex. (This is loosely related to Jisung's mmse story.)Please!!"

Celebrity: NCT Jisung

Sex Content: Intense foreplay, Getting naked together, Licking/eating pussy.

Type of Sex: MEDIUM

Word Count: 3.3k (8.6k including all three parts)

This is Part 1 of 3 which includes some great and intense foreplay. Part 2 will be posted tomorrow (February 4, 2025) and that's where the great sex happens 😉

Timeline: This story can be read on its own but relates to my previous stories about Jisung and Haneul, Haechan's sister. They first had sex in the Most Memorable Sexual Experience of Jisung Part 1-2. Then I gave you a timeline of how Jisung grew up in the two years that followed (Jisung 'Boy to Man').

There is a gap, about when they hooked up again for the first time after those two years. That's a story I haven't written and a reunion that is left to your imagination.

In this new story, however, I imagine that Jisung and Haneul have already started a new sexual relationship. The reunion reignited an old spark between them, and now Haneul comes to Seoul for “a visit” 😏🍆🍆🍆

They're older, more experienced, and want one thing: sex. But is sex really all, or is there more between them? That's where we're at now in their relationship 😊

Haechan was a great excuse for Haneul to come visit Jisung in Seoul. Her brother knew about the sexual relationship she had with his friend, but she still lied for no reason and claimed it was Haechan she wanted to see. The truth remained unspoken between them, but both siblings knew the facts: Haechan was just a bonus, and Jisung was the real reason for her sudden eagerness to travel.

Since their last encounter Haneul had been unable to stop thinking about the boy who once had a major crush on her. He had grown into a fine man, and catapulted into adulthood, though she had always considered him mature beyond his years.

The youthful infatuation that once existed between them, years prior, might no longer exist and would probably never return. But they had found each other in other ways, and for the past two months Haneul had desperately been craving more.

Jisung had consumed her mind. He had kept her awake at night. He was like a drug she could no longer have, and from which she suffered severe withdrawals. In a way, you could say that the tables had turned.

Except in her case, she could have the drug. It was available whenever she wanted it. All she had to do was come and get it.

Jisung no longer felt the same strong and painful withdrawal symptoms he once did. There was a time when thinking about her naked body caused him heartache, yet he thought about her every day nonetheless. That was two years ago, and a lot had happened since then.

But he was genuinely excited about the visit. A sweet, cute girl was going out of her way to see him, and considering the sex they had before, he could imagine what her visit would entail. It had all but been confirmed that they would sleep together.

The time when Haneul hardly even replied to his horny and desperate texts was ancient history. Now, they texted and even video called almost daily, and it was not unusual that their chats turned dirty. They were adults with needs, a need the other could fulfill. Jisung was a couple of years younger than her, but he certainly wasn't a teenager anymore.

In short, they had already had fun in bed on several occasions and both wanted to do it again. And as much as Haechan knew why Haneul wanted to visit even though he had never been told so, Jisung knew it too. That's why he was so happy and giddy on the day of her arrival.

Chenle made fun of him for it but was glad for his friend. Haechan made a snarky comment in passing, still without stating the obvious real reason for the visit. And Jisung tried to act calm and indifferent, though everyone could tell he was not.

To him it was, by all accounts, a great day indeed.

Haneul arrived in the late afternoon. Haechan picked her up at the station. At the dorm Jisung was waiting on the living room couch, where he acted cool and pretended to not be waiting at all.

Because the nature of her visit had not been explicitly confirmed, however, neither Haneul nor Jisung wanted to make the first move. There was a small risk that they were making assumptions and that their thoughts were just wishful thinking. Flirty and dirty messages were one thing, but the fact that they had sex in the past was not a guarantee that they would again.

Jisung especially suddenly started to doubt everything now that the moment had come, and wondered if, maybe, they were not on the same page after all. Maybe she was really just there to visit her brother like she said.

Making a move and being rejected would be a total embarrassment. Especially since they weren't alone for the rest of the evening. It would be difficult to find the time and space to do what he really wanted to do, and a rejection in front of everyone would be painful.

That said, their months of daily texting – and weekly sexting – combined with their history of sleeping with each other meant that there were bottled up desires of a sexual nature. The attraction between them was undeniably strong, and from the moment Haneul walked through the door the sexual tension weighted heavy in the air. Everyone in the room could feel it.

The climax of this first evening of Haneul's visit happened in the hours before bedtime. Jisung was seated on the couch chatting with their common friends – his bandmates. Haneul sat down beside him, leaning closer and closer to him with each passing minute. Jisung put an arm on the backrest behind her, and before long it was clear to every dreamer present that there was – still – something going on between them.

The friend group found it interesting and fun, especially considering that – more than two years ago – some of the boys had walked in on Jisung and Haneul in a hotel room, still naked after they had sex. The relationship between the previously innocent maknae and Haechan's twin sister had been a hot topic behind closed doors ever since.

This first night of the visit was a fun and wonderful time. But the sexual tension was building up to the point that it was becoming unbearable. And the fact that nothing further happened between them was a major disappointment.

That night Jisung went to bed with butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating out of his chest. The fact that Haneul was sleeping just behind the wall was a fact that suddenly occupied every part of his mind. Sleeping became almost impossible, with such a strong attraction pulling him and radiating from the wall.

Okay, maybe he still carried some of those youthful emotions of young love in him.

He looked at Chenle who was snoring at the other side of the room. For the first time in his life he wondered if it wasn't about time they all got their own apartments. Had he been living alone he could have brought Haneul over as much as they pleased, and it would have been so much easier to figure out her thoughts and intentions. That would have been a dream come true.

As he lay awake he became hard, and he couldn't stop thinking about one thing: what amazing things he could do with Haneul if only they had some privacy.

*****

When Jisung woke up on a lazy Saturday morning – on Haneul's second day in the capital – he was immediately curious to learn where she was and what the day might bring. He genuinely believed that she was there to see him, not her brother, and that they'd likely spend the day together. But her visit was rather spontaneous and hasty and no plans had been made.

The sense of uncertainty returned, and he braced himself for disappointment. If he got up and she wasn't there, that would feel like a kick in the gut.

If she was around, he had several ideas he thought he could suggest, places in the city he could show the countryside girl. The last thing he wanted was for the trip to become awkward or boring for her, or for her to end up spending all of it with Haechan. They had to do something together.

I'll let you in on a totally-not-secret secret: They never made it out of the apartment, because they were too busy fucking each other's brains out. In case you were wondering, that's exactly where this story is going.

Jisung stayed in bed longer than intended, contemplating all of his options. He was perhaps a bit afraid, unwilling to face Haneul while the others were around. Chenle had already left the room for breakfast, and he was unsure of who else was lingering outside the door. He listened intently for sounds and hints while his friends shuffled about on their rare day off.

Eventually he did get out of bed, simply because he couldn't stay away from her any longer. And once he did he was surprised to find the apartment completely empty. It certainly hadn't been just half an hour ago, when he listened and imagined what everyone was doing.

It didn't feel like a kick in the gut though. In fact he wasn't worried at all. Surely she would return soon enough, because she didn't want to be away from him either.

At least that's what he convinced himself in the moment, as he walked in his pyjama's through the deserted apartment, got himself something to eat in the kitchen, and sat down in the living room in complete silence.

They had probably all gone out to do their own thing. For a moment he felt a little left out, the way his friends had left without saying a word to him. But he would soon understand why he was left alone.

When he finished his breakfast he peeked inside Haechan's room, fully expecting to not find anyone there. He did find someone though. There was a mattress on the floor, the one Haneul had spent the night on, but it was empty. Haneul was instead lounging on Haechan's bed, wearing an over-sized t-shirt and pyjama shorts, aimlessly playing on her phone. She had been waiting for Jisung to wake up for hours.

“Oh, hi,” Jisung exclaimed.

“Hi,” Haneul said and her face lit up in a big, beautiful smile. She had heard him in the kitchen but wanted to play it cool, just as he did the night before.

“Where's Haechan?” Jisung asked.

“They went out.”

“Why didn't you go with them?”

He was hoping for a specific answer and Haneul gave it to him: “I was waiting for you,” she said and kept on smiling.

Jisung's heart started racing. He quickly entered the room and sat down by Haneul's feet. She pulled them up to give him space, but gradually relaxed as they started talking. Before long they were deep in conversation and her feet were in his lap.

He casually put his hand on them while they conversed. They sat there for maybe ten minutes, first making smalltalk but then joking and laughing together.

It felt pretty great. Things had always been this easy between them. But Jisung really only had one thing on his mind: they were alone, and whether that was by design or a lucky coincidence, it was a golden opportunity to act upon their desires.

Jisung was the one to finally make a move, something which would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. He leaned in closer and closer, his hand wandering higher up Haneul's bare leg. The attraction radiated from her skin to his heart which put all his senses on high alert. Before long he was on his side next to her on the bed, and when the gap between them was so insignificant it was no longer an obstacle, he closed the gap and kissed her.

The kiss was soft but long. Haneul's heart skipped a beat and she sank into the mattress. It took them both a second to realize that this really was happening.

Once it did she slid down the bed and Jisung pulled himself higher. They started making out, long and passionately, and explore each other's bodies with their hands. Over the course of another ten minutes their touches became firmer, their hands wandered further, and their bodies rubbed together. The sexual desire was so strong they forgot all about their friends and the outside world.

Jisung was hard within seconds of that first intimate kiss. Haneul took longer to get wet but got there when Jisung touched her boobs over the t-shirt. The way he felt her and put his lips on hers while being so sweet and funny did great things to her, and by the time he stuck his fingers inside her shorts she couldn't wait for him to fuck her.

This moment was indeed why Haneul had come in the first place. It was why Jisung wanted her there. Forget outdoor activities, forget Seoul, and forget their friends. There was nowhere they'd rather be right now than right here, locked in an empty apartment, cozied up in bed together, with their hands all over each other.

And with their history and experience this wouldn't be like any time before. The sex that was about to follow would be the greatest sex Jisung had ever had. If he were to tell you about his most memorable sexual experience today, he wouldn't tell you about his first time with Haneul. He would tell you about this time.

As they made out, passionately rocking their bodies close together in the sheets, and Jisung fingered his girl while pressing and rubbing his bulge and boner against her hot body, the pleasurable sensation in Jisung's pants became so strong pre-cum made his pyjama's wet.

Haneul felt a similar sensation in her shorts. She was so wet by now Jisung's fingers were soaked. She was fully immersed in their intimate bubble, and Jisung's fingers made her pant and squirm on the bed.

Sex with other guys was good, but with Jisung there was a deeper connection. He made her feel like a teenager again, and despite the addition of experience it was about so much more than just his dick and their body contact.

She gradually spread her legs wider and wider, while Jisung pressed closer and harder against her pelvis and body. They kissed and touched with an ever-increasing lust and intensity, and finally their expectations of the trip were confirmed.

Jisung pulled his fingers out. He raised his lower body and climbed on top of his lover who wrapped her arms around his back and shirt. It felt like they were back in Manilla doing something exciting and slightly forbidden, yet at the same time things were very different. It wasn't like Manilla at all.

The final tipping point came when Jisung stuck his hand inside Haneul's shirt and felt her naked breasts. She wasn't wearing a bra. Simultaneously he pressed his pelvis against hers which sent a powerful shiver through her body. It prompted her to push him off her and abruptly sit up straight.

Jisung kept his lips on hers until she was out of reach, at which point he moved down to kiss her stomach. She panted while she pulled the shirt over her head, and Jisung looked up and on in amazement as she exposed herself to him.

She tossed the shirt on the matress on the floor. He quickly reached up and felt her breasts again. Then he sat up too and attacked her chest, shoulders and face with his lips and tongue.

Haneul kept panting and started tugging on his clothes. She unbottoned the front of his pyjama shirt and slid it over his shoulder, revealing his smooth skin. He hastily undid the last button and opened the shirt wide, exposing his chest and flat tummy.

They kissed and giggled while he held out his arms and she pulled the shirt over them. It soon joined her t-shirt on the floor. Then Jisung, shirtless and horny ass hell, moved away from her and got out of bed.

They kept giggling and smiling wide as he rushed to the door and locked it. He was sure they'd have plenty of time but why risk it? He wanted all the time alone with Haneul he could get – naked, in bed, with his dick deep inside her warm pussy. It was the moment they had both been dreaming of.

“Condoms?” Haneul asked while she raised her ass and pulled her shorts down. She wasn't wearing any panties either.

Jisung abruptly stopped. He grinned and turned around again. His pants were hanging low, revealing the seams of his boxers, and his boner created a big, narrow lump on the loosely fitted fabric.

He unlocked the door and left the room with haste without saying a word. He rushed to his bedroom and found a box. He brought the whole thing with him, but when he returned to his lover he had already unwrapped a condom.

When he saw Haneul smiling and flaunting her body completely in the nude on the bed, he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Wow,” he said. “You're so beautiful.”

Haneul felt all warm and fuzzy inside. She couldn't stop grinning. Jisung was genuinely mesmerized, and for the thousand’ time in his life he thought: I can't believe I get to touch her*.*

Of course he hadn't actually touched her that many times, but he had dreamt of it. And once his mind had processed the sight and his body was responding again, he locked the door and took off his pants.

Their eyes met and they smiled wide when he walked naked back to the bed. Haneul admired his dick and slim figure. As she pulled herself higher, eagerly awaiting Jisung's warm return, she realized that she had a bit of a crush on him.

It was a fact she had been in denial about, but which had become harder to avoid in the two months since their big reunion.

Jisung sat down on the edge of the bed and grabbed his boner. Haneul looked on and enjoyed the show when he put the condom on. Then he crawled on all four toward her, and she spread her legs wide as they lay down and kissed.

His body sank onto hers. His lips wandered from her mouth to her neck. She panted softly when he continued down her chest and stomach, his hands gliding down her sides and his dick waving in the wair between their bodies, just above and below her dripping pussy.

Its presence lingered. She felt the heat between their organs. His lips on her skin and the hard dick pointing right at her hole made her so fucking horny.

But she had to wait for it a little longer. Jisung straightened his legs behind him and lay down, to bury his head between Haneul's thighs. She raised her hips in pleasure when he kissed her folds. He briefly looked up at her, proud of the intense experience he was clearly giving her, and was encouraged by seeing her squirm.

While his kisses intensified he spread his legs as not to fall off the foot of the bed, and moved his ass up and down to rub the boner against the mattress. It felt so good, so hot, and Haneul was amazing.

He ate her out like he'd done it a million times before. Haneul was surprised by how good and confident he had become with his mouth and tongue. He altered between softly engulfing her folds with his lips, sucking hard, blowing gently on her clit, and licking her wet vagina at a depth just deep enough to make her want to beg for more.

“Ahh, Jisung, fuck that's good!” she moaned. “Mmm, yeah, yeah, yeaaah!”

It all sent Haneul into a frenzy. She jolted and squirmed, panted and moaned, and quickly showed Jisung that what he was doing to her was incredible.

“Mm, ahhhh, Jisung! Mm, MMM, YES!”

Pre-cum was once against seeping out from his dick, this time accumulating in the condom. The sensation was intense, and all his senses were activated by the sexual activity.

He wanted to fuck her, and he wanted to fuck her good. In the next part of this story he did 🥵🔥🍆💦😏

-> Part 2 will be posted tomorrow, February 4th, 2025.

[marythequeen]

hello guys, i'm here to talk about leah toole's fictional book on mary i of england's. it's called the saddest princess.

at first, i want to clarify that i am highly aware that this book is fictional and not a biography. so you don't need to say "hey but it's fictional"

also, before reading her book, leah toole was someone i really liked. i used to follow her on tiktok and was really excited to read her book. however as you can understand, i am very, very disappointed.

let's start.

just after i had read the prologue i knew that many things would piss me off throughout the book because it was horrendous.

the vilification of queen mary is outdated now and seeing even the people that claim to like her doing this, made me feel awful. according to countless reports, in her death bed, she was peaceful and her conscience clean. the people that she had executed were mainly guilty of treason and many others were executed without her knowledge. i don't think that feeling guilty about this would be her main concern.

but do you know who was rather frightened and surrounded by guilt? her half sister elizabeth.

apart from this, if you ever saw a video of leah toole's, you probably know that she's a great hater of the spanish princess because of its inaccurate portrayals. mind you, the spanish princess tv show never ever claimed that it was historically accurate or something like that but leah toole was MAD (and rightfully so!! i totally agreed with her.) about it anyway. so imagine my disappointment when i started to read her book eagerly then realized that it, in many aspects, was a cheap copy of the tv show.

"there was no lone for this useless baby girl." i mean, really? that scene and almost everything about it was in the spanish princess. AND this whole scene could be proved wrong with countless reports. do i think katharine of aragon suffered from a kind of postpartum depression? i absolutely do. but do i think she HATED her own daughter for years? no because that's not what happened in reality.

again, this is a historical fiction book and it doesn't have to be historically accurate but it's called a hypocrisy when you criticize another material because of the same thing you did yourself.

(ps. katharine of aragon had blue eyes, not dark brown.)

mary's birth scene was AWFUL. henry saying mary is a useless girl was highly inaccurate. writing such things while mary's reputation is STILL unfairly blackened is very unnecessary.

"katherine had tried to love her daughter. but no matter how hard she tried, nothing the girl did held any meaning in katherine's eyes." are you kidding me??

also having mary curse constantly? this woman didn't know the meaning of whore until she was forty something. i can't even imagine her saying words such as bastard, harlot, whore etc. (in the book she called anne boleyn names when in reality she simply called her that woman. which is respectful enough.) especially when she used the word bastard when she was nine? now c'mon! throughout the book, the author is obviously influenced by the spanish princess tv show, even though she'd been very critical about the show. there's a pretty word for situations like this :) and it's called hypocrisy.

and *that* scene with duke philip? even the most passionate mary hater wouldn't write something like this. that was worse than wattpad, worse than ao3. (if you didn't read the book, take a deep breath, she had sex with him. again, did not happen in reality.)

apart from all of this, the only thing that i've liked about this book is clearly seeing that mary wasn't as forgiving as her mother was. because that's what actually happened. long story short, i was eager to read the other books of this series but i don't think that i'll be reading the rest. i am so very disappointed with this. it was such a waste of time. and i have to tell you that i am also incredibly sad because i used to enjoy her content a lot.

there are many more issues about this book but unfortunately i don't have enough time or will to live to write a detailed review but i think this'll do anyway.

lastly, at least there are very few quotes that i've liked and would want you to see.

—chapuys shrugged, "it would seem the king himself is struggling to separate the two religions," he said, "and his newest testaments have received mixed reactions from his council. i believe that in his heart he remains a catholic, but he does not wish to be told by anyone whether it be the pope or his best advisor - what he can and cannot do."

—"of all the women in my father's life, i have survived him the longest. and that alone is a great achievement."

—"i survived my father's tyranny for all my thirty-three years. this edward seymour could not scare me if he turned up at my doorstep dressed up as the devil himself."

[quaranmine]

I hate acronyms and abbreviations, it's like learning an entirely new language just to do my job. After over 3 years I still run into things! Yesterday I kept trying to google what someone's job was because all I had was "I'm an ABC" and I'm like okay but what do those letters stand for? I don't know what an ABC is so this isn't helping me know what your job is. And it was specific to their organization so of course google did not know. And I didn't ask because it was one of those things I frankly should have known after so many years. And today I get an email warning me that "XYZ" systems will be out and I'm like WHAT system. Is it just not one I use and that's why it's unfamiliar? Why not spell it out if you're gonna send it to a couple hundred people?

Anyway I'm not like really mad at this right now, more like...amused? Any given email in my inbox now has at least one, if not more, job-specific acronyms. And honestly, my relationship is more of a love-hate one than just hate because it IS easier to use when you know them all. Who needs to email encryption or controlled labels, we already do that all on our own LOL

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[insertsona]

AFTER A MILDLY INTENSE WEEK OR SO OF DRAWING THIS MAN LIKE TEN TIMES A DAY. I HAVE FINALLY GOT THIS YELLOW ASSHOLE TO 1000 IMAGES.

more road to 1000 doodles under the cut !!

[triglycercule]

dust and horror angel and demon themes,,,, they could totally parallel each other...... :3

dust=angel of death described in the delta rune prophecy (self declared) (i DEFINITELY elaborated on this one waayyyy before but anyways dust with a fucked up savior complex SAVE ME SAVE ME.... death is a blessing ass guy. life is torment and he will be the one to liberate monsters from their bodies and with the strength they provide to him be able to take down evil evil creation of pure misery that is the human ✨✨✨ dont worry his evil cackles are to HIDE HIS PAIN of saving everyone....... trust)

horror=demon that dragged everyone in horrortale into hell (as perceived by everyone else) (i think it would be a cool hc if everyone outside of snowdin viewed horror as literally a demon. maybe undyne preaches that. anyone outside of snowdin might be WAYYY worse because they starve for longer and literally take part in cannibalism so they might not have the same sort of mild sanity that snowdin residents do,,,, besides he DID kinda bring them all eternal suffering. kinda. nobody but undyne knows what happened at the core so she could totally just paint the story to blame horror fully)

ANYWAYS i like the possible dynamics this could have :333

dust to horror (please let me kill you PLEASE let me kill you i can end it all so peacefully wouldn't it be nice??? i promise ill make it quick just for you),,, horror to dust (i want you to live and suffer with what youve done i want you to watch all of your choices hit you one day and i'll be there and laugh at you. i'll keep you alive just to keep you suffering ok?)

OR dust to horror (you dont deserve to die you dont deserve to even be hurt by me. not because youre the exception but youre the Exception i absolutely loathe you so youll never get the sweet release of death :3) and horror to dust (just let me die already i dont wanna be here. youre supposed to be a savior right??? an angel?? then why don't you save me already when i need it more than anyone else)

[bitchfitch]

tbh I'm never going to stop being mad about the Manx syndrome that makes Manx cats manxes. It's an easily, Visually identifiable trait that causes the afflicted animal life long discomfort and mobility issues so severe many need specialized care and equipment to give them a normal life. And that isnt even taking into account how many die as kittens or who need to be put down because they'll never have the minimum quality of life needed to subject them to their difficulties.

there's 2 genes that can cause shortened tails/no tail in cats and while it's debatable how ethical the other one is, due to how important tails are for cat communication, the bobtail Gene is at least not devastating to the animals welfare. Unlike Manx syndrome it just causes the kittens to be born with fewer tail vertebrae. All the other vertebrae are unaffected.

Manx syndrome, in the more severe cases, which to be clear are the breed standard and are considered Desirable, cause the back half of the spine to fail to form correctly. This causes the cats to "hop like bunnies" bc their hind legs are partially paralyzed. they have severe nerve issues bc their spinal cord isn't fully encased in bone like it should be. The paralysis effects their guts too, making many of them incontinent or unable to relieve themselves properly. which leads to chronic UTIs and them needing frequent baths. which, they are cats, they do not like baths.

The main defense of the continued intentional breeding of manxes is that it is a naturally occurring mutation, as in its a landrace breed that initially happened on its own in the feral cat population on the island of mann. "if they were able to survive and reproduce under those conditions then surely it's ok" type of argument. A dominant trait spreading through a feral cat population on a small island that has no predators and plenty of small animal prey to eat, is not a defense. it's the law of large numbers.

[ninkaku]

i could talk all day about mori's treatment of dazai and the way he abused his power over him but i'd rather talk about the ways in which he is still doing it, despite dazai having left the mafia. as we know, dazai left the mafia under oda's instruction, a promise he made to his dying friend in which he said he would become a good person, and be on the side that saves people. oda said, the sides make no difference to you, so he knows for a fact that dazai has no reason to do these things, when good and evil are mere concepts for him and not something he feels drawn to either way. a take i've seen often and one that i quite like is not only did mori have oda killed for the mafia's own personal gain (the deal struck so that they could operate under legal means), but it falls back on mori grooming dazai to one day take his seat. up until this point, dazai has never had anything worth protecting, has never lost anything, has never grieved anything and never experienced the emotional call to despair.

odasaku's death and thus dazai's push into the light, which ends up being with the ada, is the final piece that mori needed to solidify that dazai would one day be able to take his place. they talk about it, dazai says you were afraid of me, weren't you? and in more ways than one, the statement is true. mori had always known that he would and always wanted for dazai to surpass him, but the husk that dazai had become by never wanting anything, never protecting anything scared him if dazai was to dispose of him and assume his seat, because although dazai is a genius, he was callous and didn't value anything. he wouldn't value the mafia like mori does, he wouldn't protect yokohama like mori does. during the guild arc, mori says if dazai was still my right-hand man, the guild would stand no chance. dazai inside of the mafia and outside of it exists as a powerful adversary to whomever he stands against, and i think this is one of many reasons why the ada and the port mafia exist somewhat in tandem. the port mafia and the ada overstep their boundaries from time to time with each other, but the truth lies in mori knowing that dazai could ruin them if he intended to.

in something of a tldr mori aims to push dazai out of the mafia just as much as he intends to keep him within it. he needs dazai to experience loss, needs him to experience what it feels like to protect something, what it feels like to want to protect something. the fact that after dazai left, mori has not replaced his seat as an executive. has not replaced dazai as his right-hand with someone else, continuously offers him his position back means he fully intends to have him back under his wing again, someday. means he fully expects, once dazai has experienced what he needs him to, that he will take over his position, and he will drive dazai back to him. yosano and dazai serve as two prizes that mori currently does not have on his mantle, and in the deal struck with the president of the agency, those are the two he is most likely to pluck out of their ranks to put right back into his own.

[apocketfullofhobbits]

can't stop thinking abt how the fact that declan mattered so little to his father that the asshole couldn't even be bothered to keep the memories of the day his son was born was supposed to make up for declan's whole shitty childhood

like hey kid u know what u just weren't worth the pain. do u feel better abt it now.

[idleunit]

"higher education" is so fucking snobby dude... my distaste for academia and the educational system as a whole is just further amplified

[mimiatmidnight]

Will you be commenting on the Taylor drama?

I love the way this was worded, like I'm one of the siblings on Succession and the press has cornered me outside my penthouse to ask if I'll be releasing a statement on my family's latest scandal. Hehehe anyways.

Sorry but I just don't understand how anyone is shocked. Truly what has that woman ever done to successfully convince people that this is out of character for her. Like I don't want to diminish anyone's pain or anything but I see all these stans on here and over on Twitter in all this distress, having their very first epiphanies like "Hold on . . . does Taylor . . . suck??" And I kinda just have to chuckle at them cause like bless your hearts babes, but omg catch UP 😭

Lol because 1) she is a severely emotionally stunted person who thinks edgy British "bad boys" are hot like she's 12 years old, 2) she has no true deeply-held moral principles outside of issues that directly affect herself, and 3) truthfully, she seems to be suffering from a serious crisis of identity after the end of the longest and most significant romantic relationship of her life, and in my opinion is pretty clearly desperate to prove something to the world/her ex/herself.

The first reason is cringe but not news to longtime viewers, the second reason is pathetic but also not news (to those who can be honest with themselves), and the third is . . . understandable in some sense, but not pitiable enough to make me willing to humor this insufferable little episode she's having. I wish her luck on this humiliating rebound journey, but she is gonna have to walk that road on her own.

Normally, I always roll my eyes when people make these kinds of jokes, but given the circumstances I feel justified in saying: I can't wait to hear the breakup song about him, sis 🤡

[pepprs]

STILL wide awake! i did not put down my phone! and now im hungry. so i will not be sleeping tonight ♥️