#and i saw an old coworker i thought didnt even know me but she did and she was so warm and so nice

[sunflauw]

I really wish I wasn't this closed off because I feel so alive when I connect with people. I love hearing their opinion, their story, what they like, what they hate, how do they make sense of things. I just love sitting and listening and talking and sharing but I have such a hard time doing it.

when I'm by myself I focus so much on the wrongs, the injustice, the inequalities, the things that should change, I forget the humans behind all those concepts and theories. it's so cheesy but life is so complex and there's so much beauty in it and people are so full of love yet so in need of it.

[your-nanas-house]

people (me) needs more one shots of neil lewis and raymond leon to stay alive. Anything will be received with total appreciation n.n

For real! Such good characters, love them so much 🍓

In my neighbour's pool

◇ Pairing: Neil Lewis X gn!reader

◇ Warnings: smut, handjob, friends to lovers kind of, illegality, hate

◇ Summary: You're fed up with your neighbor and Neil knows it, so he makes a plan to get back at them and spend the evening with you.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English.

It was a summer evening, it was hot and your best friend Neil had come to your house to tell you about his day.

He often came to visit you to steal things from your fridge and complain about his love life and the terrible orgasms he could only have while watching porn or sometimes movies.

You didnt mind most of the time, you loved Neil even though he could be quite nerdy and boring sometimes but you appreciate his company— not that evening though.

Your usual focus on him wasnt there, your eyes were glued on the house of your neighbour as you sipped your coke.

"Has Mrs. Bailey still bothered you?" Neil's voice interrupted your thoughts of hate and annoyance; he noticed that you werent actually listen to him since you were doing that humming and short replies that you always did when you werent really following something.

"Yeah, she's been a pain the the ass again. I swear I cant take it anymore, that lady needs to take some calming meds—" you scoffed, gritting slightly your teeth as you remembered what happened that morning

"She even got a fucking new pool in her backyard—" you murmured in anger, glancing at Neil when you noticed the silence.

His light blue eyes were focused on the house as well, his hands on his hip as he thought almost posing

"Why dont we go use that pool of hers? We could do something to take reveage" he suggested before listing options that he saw in a few recent movies he saw at the shop with his coworkers.

You honestly didn't mind the idea but you didn't want to cross the line too much, as not to get in too much troubles. If he would have suggested that a few weeks earlier you wouldn't have agreed but now that you were still extremely pissed at her, you went along with Neil.

Thats how you found yourself in the warm water of your neighbour's pool, wearing your swimsuit just like Neil, your hand stuck in his as you lowered it to free his hard cock.

His tongue kept exploring your mouth as your hand explored his length, squeezing his heavy balls to earn a whimper from his pretty swollen lips.

"You are pretty long, man" you murmured, kissing and nibbling at the tender skin of his neck, focusing on his adam's apple

"And-so-fucking-hard" your murmured as you stroked his cock a few times, taking a small pause at every word.

Neil's face was covered of a soft blush, his eyes were rolling back as his hips kept moving forewards, meeting your movements to fuck your hand faster— he was nearly meowing, letting soft moans and whimpers leave his mouth.

You could feel that he was getting closer and closer to his peak, his muscles flexing against your body, which was pressed against his, his cock throbbing and twitching at every movement of your skilled hand.

Neil came hard, letting out a meowing noise before catching his breath, his icy blue eyes now back open and focused on you

"Fuck that was—" he murmured, ready to praise your hidden skills and kiss you when a noise interrupted the both of you.

A shiver run down your spine when your neighbour walked out in her backyard, holding a bowl of milk and another one with cat's food

"Petunia, my lovely kitty, is that you? Mommy had your food—" the old annoying lady asked, making you hold back a laugh as you fixes quickly Neil's swim trucks— leading him quickly away from there as soon as you realized that the woman had probably heard your best friend's pathetic moans, mistaking them for the whining of one of her 8 cats.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @wife-of-magic-monkeys , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter

[wanderrlust0]

…continued…

yeah thats what ive been dealing with for like a year now omg bc we first hung out last july and we basically hang out like every 5 MoNthS Lol okay not actually that long but like every 2 months about so yeah we dont even see each other that often?!? so lemme catch up with them and not have to worry about upsetting him and also thats why im even more anxious for when i tell him about the party thats a week after the concert bc it will be sooo soon like soooo soon considering our typical hang out gap and i wouldve brought my other friend but shes going to mexico!! so since they already came with me for her first party it technically does make sense to bring the same person with me and i also wouldnt be able to bring him bc he works every saturday but now hes in the middle of switching jobs so he actually might be free on saturdays soon and idk how soon but then what if he is actually free that saturday but i just decide to not go with him like will that make me an awful gf like idk but at the same time its a late party and ofc there will be drinks and he didnt drink last time when he met my friends for the first time but tbf it was a pretty quiet hangout so i cant rag him on that but say he comes like will he drink with me or be social or get bored or feel out of place. how long would he want to stay till he crashes or feels likes hes not having fun. he will be thinking about the like 20min drive back to his house and also the biggest biggest obstacle i think about is that he will know someone there already bc she was an old fling of his before he met me and she just happens to be my excoworkers gf;-; and she was there at the last party but i was blind, didnt notice, it was dark and i wasnt sober and its not like everyone who was there spoke and saw each other bc there were ofc a lot of diff cliques and we stayed near the same people but like people will walk by or youre chillin in the same area and its inevitable that theyll see each other so yeah thats honestly the main reason why i wouldnt wanna have him there which idk if thats selfish or bad of me bc its not like im scared something will happen ofc like i dont feel threatened by her or think that he’ll be into her now bc its been so long but like idk the thought of it feels weird to me esp since she already hit him up once after their friendship died out and she apologized and asked to get lunch w him and he politely declined and he told me about it after and thats how i know that they have history so its truly a small world where i live bc people got mutuals all over the place but yeah that concludes my insanely long thought and some background info between him and my friend) but i will tell him tomorrow about the concert (girl you better do istg) and tell him about the party a diff day

edit: i just told him and its 11:48pm omg. still made it before midnight

edit: 9.5 / um so obviously i didnt tell him that we went to the party together bc after lots of thinking and speaking to my best friend and dealing with his reaction to the concert, it was better to not tell him. i felt guilty for keeping it a secret but its true that i dont need to tell him every little thing. ofc not when it comes to being unfaithful but innocent things that would be better off not said is OKay. its not right.. but its not hurting anyone. to this day i still believe that hes better off not knowing bc the concert really put him over the edge and we argued so much from it. two of my friends actually did show up to the party as well bc they knew my coworker from hs so i was able to tell him that and i was so glad they showed up so i posted a pic w one of them and obvi posted none with snow. i also told them that he doesnt know were going together & explained why its for the better. last time we hung out was when we went to brooklyn dekalb market with their friend and that still caused some tension ofc..couldve been worse tho! but no actually seeing him after that was a reallyreally weird day filled with not a lot of talking or touching until it was night time and we were forced to speak. in the end he was able to snap us out of it bc the energy was actually. terrible. like awful. i wish i wasnt there. but we ended that night back to our normal selves and since then weve been really good since i havent hung out with snow in a month. ive also had a long talk with his sister and he ofc talks to her as well and she understands how i feel and how its unfair to me so she said she spoke to him and suggested that she hang out with me and snow one day since he clearly didnt want to. oh yeah as of now me and snow need a chaperone🥲chappell roan. the trust he has in us is currently still stuck to the bottom of the ocean and who knows when itll rise

[dumbbitchfrommars]

on another note (please let me distract myself from my pathetic past times) - MY PRESENTATION WENT REALLY WELL! well as well as i am capable of. i was reading from the cue cards the entire time but my script was good and so were my slides. i was shaking but my voice was steady, and my knees didn't buckle from the adrenaline-anxiety, so i think i did pretty fucking fantastic. for the others who are used to presenting and dont know the depths of my shame associated with a lifetime of crippling anxiety - its easy to critique my lack of connection with the audience. but in all honesty... IT IS SUCH A PRIVILEGE AND AN HONOUR TO RECEIVE SUCH CRITICISM. like, my presentation was substantial enough to even receive comments. and you understood what i said, and you listened to me, and it wasnt completely terrible, and i didnt have to watch myself so i survived. and i did it!!! it makes me cringe to imagine seeing myself up there not even glancing up at them for a second but sometimes you have to do what you can to get through difficult situations. i am so fucking proud of myself. like... i can hear my inner child jumping for joy. im actually fucking traumatised from the one time i tried to present in grade 7 and the dickhead class clown made fun of me for having badly made slides. in retrospect... he was criticising me because i was the teachers pet and was probably jealous of how smart i really was. and its easy to pick on someone whos already shy. but man did that fuck me up. and that shyness carried on into high school. i cant believe no one saw me and thought hm, she looks like shes struggling, maybe she needs counselling. maybe she needs help. maybe she deserves a little compassion. instead everyone took advantage of their power over the girl raised to be a people pleaser and subservient to authority. NOW LOOK AT ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! i wont listen to bullshit from anyone. not kim telling me oh, but makeup wont get paid as much as here, oh youll probably only get around $28 an hour. GUESS WHAT BITCH, I GET THE SAME EXACT RATES AS THIS SHITHOLE. and ill be even happier doing it. no more drunks, no more creeps, no more druggies, no more aggros, no more smelly homeless weirdos, and no more energy vampire coworkers.

fuck you scott for being less mature than me, someone probably less than half your age. i am the adult when youre around and it must make you so fucking insecure. anyway. i always get like this before the weekend when i am forced back into that hell hole place.... at least i dont have to deal with the annoying ones tomorrow. and fridays are usually more fun because there are more young people heading out for the night.

working in alcohol is just not appropriate, safe, fun, or nurturing for a beautiful 22 year old girl. sorry guys. i got to go. its not my fault my energy triggered you because youre old and afraid of change and settled for a shitty job just because it paid well. LIFE IS FOR LIVING NOT FOR MAKING MONEY.

on that note, i know its a privilege to up and leave a job simply because the "vibes werent right". its a privilege to say money doesnt matter to me. and its a privilege to choose a job based on my personal preference and not on survival. but its a privilege we all have, if youre willing to work hard enough. im sick of lowering my voice and downplaying my strengths and my achievements for fear of pissing people off, for triggering people, for bringing their insecurities to light. LET ME WIN IN PEACE FOR ONCE. smile for me for once. pretend to be happy for ME for once.

i hate fucking pretending its not that big of a deal when its secretly a huge deal for me. i have achieved so fucking much in the last year of my life. i finished an undergraduate bachelors degree, i got a new job and excelled in it, literally made all the customers prefer me over my longstanding coworkers who are miserable with the worst attitudes even towards me who is nothing but kind and friendly. i started and honours degree whilst working part time - and im excelling in that too. because i am hardworking as much as everyone wants to pretend im not, and that im not that capable, and that i need things to be explained to MAYBE YOU SHOULD FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE. cause i clearly have a lot more going for me that you want to believe. i might only be 22 but i was raised to work hard and strive and always find something new and better to challenge me to work towards. anyway, i also went on a trip to europe this year . though it feels like ive already erased that from my memory, cause it didnt go the way i wanted it to. anyway. i know how to handle my finances, i am independent, i am strong, i push myself. i joined a gym after years of avoiding and bein afraid and not believing in myself enough to do it. I AM PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY STRONG AND GETTING STRONGER EVERY DAY. ugh . i just wish people could see that. i wish people appreciated that...

yes i was very sad to say i was leaving my job. but God instantly reminded me why i wanted to leave in the first place. why i decided to make that application, go to that interview, and pray for months on end that my time to leave would come soon. because no matter how much love and kindness i pour into that place, it will always take and never give. i am completely drained by it. i will break if i stay there. and i cannot fucking wait to leave and know that slowly but surely, every single one of the stupid, pathetic alcoholics that frequent that place will notice my absence and be disappointed that im gone. and they will wonder why, and they will realise and know, that the people there were so fucking terrible to me that i had no other choice but to find something better. that in their own little way, they contributed to me leaving.

even my manager. i already know im gonna miss him like crazy when i leave but its for the best. not only is this crush fucking relentless and so stupid, but hes not even that great, and he doesnt deserve my respect and adoration to this level. as cute and funny he is, he is just another white man. sigh

i didnt realise i had such a rant to get out... i think scott triggered me yesterday. the good thing is i dont really notice in the moment how much of a man child hes being, so he doesnt get the satisfaction of my irritation in person. but i wont forget that he dipped and i didnt get a break after being on my feet for 6 hours straight. fuck you, old man.

[hotch-stufff]

Hey it’s me again m, I have another request , I’d like Angst Prompt #10 "I'm on my way" with Gibbs. He answers the phone and is told something happened to the reader, and the reader is at the hospital and later on it leads to finding out the reader has Angst Prompt #55 Chronic illness. Please and thanks and you amazing at writing!!

Changes Nothing

gif by dwaynepride

Pairing: Gibbs x Reader

Warnings!: chronic illness, mentions of epilepsy, , mentions of seizures,, hospital, angst, pain, fluffy ending

Description: Gibbs rushes to the hospital when he finds out you were admitted. How will you tell him its because of an illness?

Author's Note: I don't have much experience with chronic illness, so if I messed something up. Just lmk. Hope you enjoy reading!!

------------

You had been having seizures since you were a kid. It took the doctors a year and half for them to realize it was epilepsy. It took another year to figure out the best medication to use for a 9 year old. You had been in hospitals a gazillion times by the time you were 11. Growing up with epilepsy was hard, you couldn't do very much as a kid.

But you learnd to live with your condition, as did most people. As you got older, the medications got better, and the seizures became rare occurrences. But they did still happen. You still visited hospitals at least a dozen times a year. But you never let it stop you from living your life, or being with someone else. The only thing was, you still hadn't told your current boyfriend about your condition.

You and Gibbs had been together for about a year before he heard about your first "episode". It had been a relatively normal day. You had left Gibbs house that morning, giving him a deep kiss on your way out the door to work. He had smacked your ass as you left, giving you a sly grin before you drove off.

He had gotten his coffee, gone to work, and did his paperwork, just like everyday. Only today was different.

He didn't get his usual morning text from you. Sure he had just seen you, but you always sent him an i love you text, or a have a good day text after getting to work. But you didn't today. That had been the first thing that set him off.

The second being you not showing up for lunch. He had called and called. But you hadn't answered. He was only growing more worried throughout the day.

He knew something was wrong when a call from an unknown number popped up on his phone.

"Agent Gibbs." Was his quick answer.

"Agent Gibbs, this is Doctor Harrold Green from St. Elizabeths hospital. I'm calling because Y/n Y/l/n is in the hospital, and your listed as her emergency contact." He didn't let the doctor explain. Hearing your name and hospital in the same sentence scared the hell out of him.

"I'm on my way." He got out quickly before hanging up, not waiting to listen to why you were in the hospital. He grabbed his coat and took off towards the stairs. He was too impatient to wait for the elevator. The team was shocked to see their boss leaving in such a hurry at only 2 in the afternoon, without a word.

Gibbs broke just about evey speeding law on his way to the hospital, barely parking the car before he was out and running towards the front doors. His eyes searched frantically for the front desk, sprinting to it immediately.

"I'm looking for Y/n Y/l/n." He was so out of breath. Panting in front of the woman as she searched the name on her computer.

"Room A23, down the hall to your left." He nodded in thanks and took off down the hall, nearly sprinting past the room he was in such a rush.

He opened your door, walking in to see you lying in a hospital gown, an IV hooked up to your arm.

"Jethro!" You exclaimed in surprise. You had completely forgotten you had recently changed your emergency contact.

"Y/n. Are ya okay? What happened?" He demanded, his voice raspy from being so breathless.

"Shit. This is not how I wanted to tell you." You looked almost ashamed, guilty even.

"Tell me what?" Gibbs asked hesitantly.

"I had a siezure today. Well more than one seizure, multiple seizures. They were bad to say the least, and I ended up passing out." You paused gaugung his reaction. "My coworker called 911, and they ran some tests. I uh... I have a condition. I have since I was little, I just didn-" he cutoff your ramble.

"A condition?" He asked. Why hadn't you told him?

"Yeah."

"W-whats wrong?" Here goes nothing.

"I have epilepsy." You saw his eyes widen slightly as he swallowed audibly. He didn't say anything. "I um, I didnt tell you because I didn't know how you would react. Most people don't want to be with people who have chronic illnesses. It's a huge burden to take on and I just didn't want to add that to your life, but I was selfish because I really love you and I thought telling you would make you leave and I ju-" he cut off your ramble once again, but this time with a kiss. A sweet innocent little kiss that meant the world to you. He broke away, but cupped your face softly.

"Sweetheart, I will always love you. No matter what. This changes nothing. I wish ya would've told me sooner, but I understand why ya didn't." Tears formed in your eyes. "Ya scared the hell outa me though." You let out a watery laugh

"I love you. You have no idea how much this means to me." He brought you in close, leaning his forehead against your own, interlocking your fingers.

"You are my everything, and nothing is going to change that." He kissed you again, just to prove his point. This kiss was sweeter than his usual pecks. It was more meaningful.

You gave him quite the scare, but he was so happy you were okay. And you were happy that he was accepting you for who you are. You had never had that before in a partner. You heart was soaring.

He took you home that night, holding you as close as possible, only letting go when he absolutely had to.

------------

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! I have a lot of requests to get through, so i am so sorry if it takes me a while to get to yours!!! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[starglow-xx]

owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada & port mafia (part 1)

platonic! edogawa ranpo x f! reader

type of writing: head canons !!

this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting these fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them! but only at the cost of your peace and sanity. 

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff & platonic stuff

author’s notes: this will be a multiple part series of head canons and this is only part one! this series will include both the agency and port mafia members, and then something special for the end. maybe i’ll even write a real one shot/scenario for it. if there’s enough interest, i might open up a tag list for this! i hope you all enjoy!! <33

also, ranpo is 25 in this part; kenji, atushi, kyouka, and the tanizaki siblings aren’t part of the agency yet, only yosano, kunikida, and dazai are, but in the next couple parts, it will be established that the tanizakis are

and (n/n) means nickname :)

meeting the greatest detective

your bakery, Sakura’s, which you named after your late grandmother (who was also your guardian), went into business when you were 18 right after graduating high school

who needed a culinary course when you were trained by dear ol grandma?

your grandmother died when you were 16, just as you started your second year of high school

you were devastated of course, but you knew she wouldn’t want you to wallow over it too long

so in those last two hard years of high school, you took part time jobs at other bakeries and saved lots and lots of money

by graduation, using your life savings, the money your grandmother had left for you, and all the money you earned working, you were able to buy the small building—with a reasonable amount of money left over to survive— you and your grandmother had been eyeing back in her hometown, yokohama, to start your bakery

the building was a bit run down, but you were planning to give it a makeover anyways

it was a bit smaller compared to other buildings around, only having two stories, but on the plus side, the second floor had taller ceilings and was an apartment

is that realistic? probably not but bare with me here 

aNYWHO

you finished putting your bakery up in about 4 months, then finished up your apartment 2 more after

you opened Sakura’s at 7 in the morning then closed at 8 in the evening

when you first started, you did quite well!!

especially with those who went to work on early mornings and families

the time when you first opened was the most peaceful, but you admitted that it was a bit boring, and you wished for a bit more excitement

and boy, the day edogawa ranpo stepped into your bakery was the catalyst for the chaos and excitement that was soon to come

not that you knew that

if you did you would’ve never let him in

maybe

you were 19 when ranpo discovered Sakura’s, and it was completely accidental

he finished solving a case and was on the way back to the agency, and he—not surprisingly—got lost and then it started to rain really hard

it was pouring; there was even the cliche thunder strike and everything

you saw the brown clad man across the street and you ran out with two umbrellas (almost getting hit by a car mind you) handed one to him and practically dragged him inside

with the heavy rain on the forecast, Sakura’s was empty, so you gently pushed him down on a chair and you rushed away to find towels

even though the two of you had umbrellas, the two of you were still soaked 

finding said towels, you quickly dried yourself the best you could then you draped your towel over your back and rushed over to give him his as well as a warm pastry and your special hot honey lemon tea

ranpo laughed as you placed down the refreshment and snack, thinking that you knew who he was and was giving him special treatment

poor bby blinked and went :0 when you said you didn’t

“you don’t know who i am?”

“no. am i supposed to?”

“...”

the 25 year old blanked and you worried that you broke him and started to apologize profusely 

he cut you off claiming that he got over it he didnt but seeing as the bakery was empty and it was pouring pretty badly, he demanded you give him all your attention sit with him so he could tell you all about himself and what he’s done

the two of you got along quite well

you were amazed with all the stories he’s told you 

you honestly acted like a cute little kid listening to fairytales

he told you that and in response you threw a napkin at him

“wow ranpo-san! that’s amazing!!”

“you look like a little kid”

cue the napkin

he was happy with all the attention, praise, and sweets you gave him

the agency gave him praise sure, and made sure he had a lot of snacks but it was refreshing to have someone give him this much and your treats were the best he’s ever had

after he told you all his most interesting cases, the two of you just rambled about the most randomest things; going from the best desserts and snacks to the stupidest things his coworkers have done

you guys were on that last topic for a while

you two talked and rambled for hours, and when it hit hour two and the rain was still pouring, you just went ahead and slipped the “we’re open” sign to “closed” even though it was only 2 o’clock

you thought that this was probably the loving goofy older brother relationship that you missed out on

“ranpo-san, you’re kind of like the brother i’ve never had”

“and you’re still like that little kid”

cue another napkin to the face

don’t worry, he already adores you <3 

he just likes to make fun of you </3

*cuts you off as you’re talking to squish your cheeks* “(y/n) you still have a lot of baby fat and you’re pretty short...are you sure you’re still not in high school or smth??”

*incoherent talking due to pressure on cheeks* “ranpo-san you have 3 seconds before i kick you out”

at around 6, the rain came to a stop and by then, the both of you were all dried up

before he left, you gave him a map so that he hopefully wouldn’t get lost again and gave him a couple boxes of treats for him to have and to share with his coworkers

you closed early so you had to give away at least some of the remaining treats somehow

he wanted you to go to agency with him so he didn’t have to carry everything but you declined saying that you didn’t want to bc you wanted to rest

and for payback for calling you a little kid

you were 19 goddamnit

you already placed everything neatly into two bags so it was easy to carry but this bitch still had the audacity to pout and whine at you

and he calls you the little kid, jeez

you never told him but, you almost gave in

you never told him. but he probably already knows

ranpo san knows all after all; even you knew that by now

the two of you had also exchanged phone numbers and when the two of you showed each other what you each put for a contact name along with the note below, the two of you broke out into grins

you named him “the greatest detective <33″ & put the note “new nii-san <33 & bully </3″ and he named you “cute bakery girl” with the note “best follower, sweets supply & annoying little kid”

when he left, you properly closed the bakery and taped a sign to the door saying that you closed early for personal reasons

when everything was cleaned up, you marched up into your bedroom, plopped on your bed, and took a nap

you deserved it

at the agency not too long after that, ranpo had arrived and when he opened the door, everyone rushed towards him in concern asking if he was okay

he waved them off and walked towards his desk and plopped down in his seat

he placed the two bags in front of him and took out a box of cream puffs and started to snack on them

his coworkers watched him blankly as his scarfed down one after another

after finishing that box, he rummaged through the bags to look through the different kinds of pastries you’ve given him 

noticing that there were people still staring at him he paused before sighing in exasperation

he began to whine at his coworkers saying that no one told him it was gonna rain and that they were lucky that he happened to be in front of Sakura’s

“why did no one tell me?! it was pouring and i was soaked! you guys are lucky that (n/n)-chan’s bakery was right there! you would’ve probably lost me! how would the agency even function without me here?!”

no one wanted to be the one to tell him that they had no idea who he was talking about and that they did in fact tell him that it was gonna pour

they can save that, and their questions for another time

next >>

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

[toriwakes]

Pretty Boy 187 [s.r x reader]

summary: reader finds out that her new found tumblr crush is none other than her coworker.

content warnings: she/her!reader, mentions of alcohol

a/n: hi!! i’m so happy to be posting again. i’m really proud of this, so i hope you all like it! as always, let me know if you have any requests!

convincing spencer to get tumblr was tough. not only did he hate technology, he didn’t like social media either.

“it’s gonna be fun! c’mon, please?” you’ve been bugging him about it for about a week. “spencer, please just download it. if i have to hear (y/n) whine again i’m gonna loose it.” said derek, plopping is papers on his desk. “you like it when i whine.” you teased, causing derek to flash you a toothy grin. “alright! jeez.” you clapped of joy and jumped to help spencer, but he stopped you. “no way, i’m not letting you follow me.” he kept his phone facing away from you, your arms dropping to your sides in defeat. “fine. i’ll find your account somehow.” “we’ll see about that.”

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

over the next few weeks you acquired a few new followers, only one catching your eye. ‘prettyboy187’ followed you on a quiet friday afternoon. the username caught your attention at first, but when you checked is profile? that’s when you were hooked. half of his pictures were just aesthetically pleasing: outside of his window, his extreme sugary coffee, some books. but others...

it was an excerpt of a poem and his hand was holding back the pages. you doubt he meant to capture it so beautifully. just his hand was godly. you wasted no time dming him.

hey :)

how desperate did you look right now? he followed you barley an hour ago. you cant stop staring at that picture.

hello

he didn’t sound happy. well, he didn’t “sound” anything, you guys were texting. but you could feel his tone through the screen. where you overthinking this too much? you shuffled into your bed, wrapping yourself in the covers as you pondered what to say next.

i just wanted to tell you i really like your account. are you a photographer or something?

no, i’m not. my friend convinced me to get this app and i noticed people post aesthetically pleasing photos on here, so i’m just doing the same haha.

ok, well you don’t post nice pictures. at least, not that type. maybe you’d post a picture of the snow or your bed, but every now and then you’d bless the feed with a picture of you in a swimsuit. it was more for opinions on the suit than anything else.

ohh. maybe i should start doing that.

how do you mean?

oh.

that sounded like a very judge-y ‘oh’. your eyes scanned your own profile to see what he could’ve hated. there was you in your favorite red swimsuit, a picture of your computer with netflix on the screen. the rest of the posts were of the same type, so you couldn’t pinpoint what the problem was.

what is it?

no, nothing. your recent picture. that’s a nice swim suit.

oh. that’s what he meant. you practically threw your phone across the room and squealed. thank the universe that he didn’t dislike you already. you shot him another text. just like that, you had your first ever tumblr crush.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“what’s up with you pretty girl?” derek asked when you walked into work. you supposed you still had the blush on your face when pretty boy wished you a good morning and day at work. “nothing!” you said, obviously it being something. as if on cue, spencer walked in behind you also giddy. “what, you’re both sweet on someone now?” when neither of you responded, derek laughed. “what?” emily inquired, taking her seat. “spencer and (y/n) both have a crush.” emily’s jaw dropped. “spencer has a crush?” everyone broke into laughter, jj overhearing and almost dropping her files. “why is that so surprising?” spencer defended himself, derek giving him a ‘you know the answer to that’ look. “well?what’re their names?” he pushed. you bit your tongue. you didn’t even know his name. yikes. “let’s start.” aaron called. saved by hotch. thank goodness. “this ain’t over.” derek warned the two of you. yes it was. by the end of the day morgan would’ve forgotten all about this.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you were right like always. morgan didn’t ask anymore about it, instead offering to get drinks. you turned it down, desperate to get home and text your boy. and you did, only at 11pm.

hey, sorry it’s so late. had a long day at work.

no worries, so did i. listen, i have a question.

this boy only sent messages that would make your heart drop. with a pacing heart, you texted back.

yes?

his ‘online’ button flashes on. then he was typing. then he was deleting. it seemed like hours before he responded.

what’s your name?

godamnit. you didnt have a display name because you didn’t want anyone you knew finding your account. what’s a fake name you can use? maybe...

lila.

why did you pick spencer’s ex’s name? you don’t know. you remember being insanely jealous of her because she got to kiss spencer in the pool while you were posted outside. your crush on spencer was still very much alive, but not as much as it was with pretty boy.

that’s a pretty name.

thanks. now you have to tell me yours ;)

you’ve never been so nervous for a text conversation in your life. for some reason, the back of your head wondered what it would be like if you were texting spencer. it was just a thought, though. spencer would never say half of this stuff.

call me morgan.

oh NO. please no... you stalked his profile again, terrified that you’ve been flirting with your coworker this past month. alas, your eye caught another body picture- this time of his arm. no tattoos like derek. not to mention he was much smaller. not that that’s a bad thing. you don’t think you’d ever be able to handle derek...

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

you arrived at work yet again with a blushing face. “come on, you can’t keep hiding this from me! tell me something at least!” derek whined. “okay! his name is morgan. and i know what you’re thinking, and no, it’s not you, my boy is much more attractive.” derek’s mouth formed into an ‘O’ shape in fake offense. “that’s damn near impossible. ain’t nobody prettier than derek morgan.” spencer walked in now, again with a dorky smile on his face. “spencer. (y/n)’s got a crush on-“ you jumped to cover his mouth, the sound of your crush’s name muffled. “what- hey! no fair! derek gets to know but i cant?” spencer whined. derek held his hands up and sat back down, not wanting to get you mad. smart. “three can’t keep a secret.” was all you said before sitting down to clean your workspace.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the new highlight of your day was texting morgan. you learned several things about him; he has a job he can’t specify for personal reasons, he really wants a dog but he feels like animals hate him. you told him about your cat joel, and how they could absolutely love him. he appreciated that.

if i tell you something, do you promise not to freak out?

depends. are you about to tell me you’re a serial killer?

no!

you giggled to yourself at your humor.

i wanna meet you.

you promised not to freak out, but you were freaking out. it was just now setting in that you didn’t know this man at all. where he lived, how old he was, even what he looked like. you took a few deep breaths and asked a question.

where do you live?

quantico virginia.

no hesitation on that one. he lived in the same town as you? you didn’t know how you’d be able to turn this down...

shit, me too. let’s meet up then.

i’ll send you a good place to get drinks.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“every time you walk in here, you’re blushing. now so are your ears.” you beamed at derek, sitting at your desk before spilling. “i’m gonna meet him.” “wait what? are you sure that’s safe?” you rolled your eyes. “i’m an fbi agent. i’m not scared of a little danger.” you playfully winked and derek blew out a huff of air. “if anything happens, you know you can call me.” you pouted at your friend and nodded, appreciating his concern. spencer was spinning in his seat. “you happy too?” you asked. he only nodded and didn’t elaborate. you we’re going to press on, but hotch called you all in and you lost your chance.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

on rare occasions, the bau got tough cases with very happy endings. this was one of those cases. the plane ride home was extremely joyous and derek offered to get drinks again. this time, everyone accepted (all except hotch). you texted morgan telling him you were going out tonight and you wouldn’t be back till late. you laughed to yourself. it was like he was your boyfriend.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

the night was young and you were fairly tipsy. ok that’s generous, you were drunk. you were spending most of your time with penelope and it took you a minute to remember spencer. “ohmygosh! spence!” he was startled at your presence but he gave you that flat mouthed smile of his. “how are you! you’re my favorite scorpio.” you nodded as you said it, as if trying to convince him it was true. “thanks? i’m good. you’re drunk.” he pointed out. “no shit. hey!!! you never showed me your tumblr user! you gotta show me that girl you like, bet you she’s really sexy.” you didn’t even know what you were saying at this point, whipping out your phone and snapping a picture with spencer. “what are you doing?” he asked, watching you type. “posting this on tumblr! i want everyone to know you’re my favorite in the world.” he wanted to ask favorite what, but a ping on his phone distracted him. lila posted. he smiled and checked her page.

holy fuck.

♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥♡♥

“(y/n)?” he asked, not looking away from his phone. “yess?” you responded. “what’s your tumblr?” what is your tumblr? “uhhh..i don’t know, check.” you tossed him your open phone, and his eyes only grew wider. “you’re lila?” the words rang through your ears like a siren. “what?” the word was breathy, you couldn’t add stability to what you said. spencer showed you his phone, ‘prettyboy187’ on the screen. “you’re morgan?” still no confidence in your voice whatsoever. your feelings were supposed to change, you weren’t supposed to like that morgan was spencer. but they didn’t. you didn’t even think about the fact he saw your swimsuit photos. you loved that morgan was spencer, and you still wanted to see him on the weekend. “are you mad?” you asked, not being able to stop yourself from sipping from your glass. “no. should i be?” you smiled. “no. do you still wanna meet up this weekend?” “yes. but i don’t wanna get drinks.” he wasn’t even drinking, why is he complaining. “where should we go then?” “my house.”

[starrysupercell]

UwU the rest of the outline at per request. @lumpy-veev (still unfinished but it's okay! This should be thought of as a rough draft.) 💙

🦝 "RaR 3" or "Breaking Point" 🐍

It would be an unofficial Brawl, which is not allowed, but it happens, and what can you even do?

I see the two as basically ignoring each other's presence upon finding out that the other is there. Of course, as much as they won't admit it, it's making them think of. Everything.

This leads to even more on edge tense atmosphere whenever they would cross each other's path, because even if it’s a big park, you can only avoid someone for so long, especially when you happen to have common associates. (the Coworkers, Tara, etc.)

It doesn’t help they have growing animosity and take every little thing personally for every interaction.. and it’s only been a month or two.

Rumors begin to pick up around the park-- Just a little chatter at the bar. Just a little observation that those two sure have something between them huh? The gossiper is shushed, because did you forget who runs the place? his connection to Byron?

Luckily, the bartender didn’t seem to hear. He was busy cleaning glasses. The topic’s changed. customers continue to come and go.

One who arrives is Piper, who sits down at the bar. It’s busy, so she waits patiently for Barley to get her usual. (he’s good at that.) He sets down a coaster and the glass in front of her, but instead of a greeting and bustling away this time, he sticks around.

“Byron is well on his way to becoming a topic of interest around here...” he tells her.

She leans forward with a smile. “What have they said? And who, for that case?”

He explains what he heard, and omits the names.

Piper thoughtfully considers this. She had noticed this, but hadn’t chalked it up to a personal history, just conflict of interest. (byron was well off, belle was a thief. he would be cautious) Now that she knew, she wanted every drop of intel.

“I can talk to him. we wouldn’t want our dear coworker being talked about, do we?”

“I do not.” Barley replied, tipping his hat to bid her goodbye as he steps away to another client. He lets Piper take care of this, because he likes letting people come to him if they want to talk, and he feels that Byron would have already approached him if that were the case.

~

So, it’s another one of their patented teatime tête-à-têtes.

Piper skirts around the issue before dropping the news of whispers about the two.

But Byron doesn’t humor the topic, and refuses to talk about it.

Piper cheerfully pokes at him. “Crossed paths? Did you know her before the Park? maybe previous business associates? She robbed you, but you had good insurance, and one day she tricked you? Ooh~ Former flames-?"

And then Byron stands up and is about to leave wordlessly until that last suggestion processes bc if he doesn’t clarify now, ugh that’s gonna be what Piper thinks is plausible (kind of, bc he gay af) and he does NOT want that to be a thing.

“She’s a relative,” he says with so much distaste before he leaves that Piper is even more intrigued. but at the same time, there’s something that tells her she shouldn’t fan the fire any further.

they’ve had their share of back and forths, and it’s been a blue moon since something had gotten him so upset that he just up and leaves.

she drops it, and as the #1 gossipmonger of the park, the hushed whispers of “mystery between byron and belle?” is completely stamped out with a dismissive attitude and several “Really? I didn’t notice anything.”

If Byron really and truly didn't want this around the park, she'd honor that.

~

Of course, with QD Edgar on occasional trips with the Gang, that’s the biggest connection the sibs have at the moment.

The first time Edgar name dropped Byron, Belle froze and listened to 2.47 more seconds of the teen's rambles before telling him to get a move on around camp and quit yapping.

Edgar didn't notice this first time around and grumpily went about his way.

But I'm sure there's one thing or another that makes Edgar talk about his dad manager again, and one thing that will really piss Belle off, is comparison.

Tara, who notices the shift in mood, puts herself in between Edgar and Belle and swiftly soothes things over. She suggests getting on with the plan they have (already knowing what Belle will respond with).

"heist cancelled," Belle states, rearing up Elodie and galloping away from camp. (She usually winds down on her own after celebrating a big heist, but never before-- and never had called it quits at that.)

Edgar is put off. Tara muses that it's nothing he could help...

On her own, Belle just contemplates everything. Hours. It brings up familiar memories of being up on the rooftop with her head buried into her arms and knees feeling terrible.

Except now she's more than grown, with her share of things to be proud of and great memories she forged on her own. She's not curled up on herself anymore. She's staring to the long distance of the desert-- her home-- traveling with ease.

That stupid rooftop section of her life is nothing more than a fraction of her well-lived life.

It doesn't make her feel better.

Yet another thing Byron ruins for her without even trying.

She needed a drink.

~

Not wanting to head back to her camp for the night, and not in the mood to try nabbing some good drink, Belle simply walks into the bar and orders something.

Barley treats her the same as any Brawler, despite what he now knows about her.

As far as he was concerned, she came in there as a customer. And as long as she paid, he saw no problem in serving her...

She drinks quietly, and he keeps an eye on her intake.

And eventually, just like with any other customer with something heavy on their mind and enough drinks, words flow easier.

She doesnt use names, and keeps terms vague. Speaks angrily of her parents. Calls the brother a "dumbass of a pushover."

Now, it isnt like he associates Byron as a (pardon his french) 'dumbass' in any way, but it's the way she uses it that makes Barley connect the dots. The tone wasn't as bitter. Almost fond. Almost.

He lightly prods for a little bit more insight, and she gives up a little more as she drinks.

Unlike the other two members of his Trio, it wasn't in his nature to gossip, so this would stay between them.

Barley listens, because that's what she needs right now. Not advice, not interjections or lectures or deflecting the subject. Just someone to listen.

Eventually he cuts her off before she gets too inebriated (and probably causes trouble.)

{I AM going to write this scene out in depth. And cry while doing so.}

~

On the other side, after the season and back at the Gift Shop, Edgar is 🤔🤔 over that incident. He considers talking with Colette but 1) she's as mad as a Colette could be at the fact that he hung out with the NEW BRAWLER and TARA and didnt bother getting her ANYTHING. and 2) tbh she's a blabbermouth.

Byron does his regular check of the shop that day. Making sure Colette hasn't run off and Edgar isnt sneaking a nap.

He welcomes Edgar back from his little trivial loot and shoot games.

While Edgar hadn't even thought twice about it before, he recalls that when he had told Byron he'd be working at a different section of the park (namely with the new Brawler, Belle) he had acted just as dismissive.

Like yeah, there was your usual "old man doesn't get the teens" shenanigans, but Byron had never belittled his interest in anything before. Calling his involvement in the season a 'trivial game' sounded... personal.

He outright asks Colette if Byron was acting weird.

Any snippiness that Colette may have had for 2 minutes diminishes when there's a chance to talk with her favorite person in the world that she's seen little to none of for two months, AND about her favorite topic: Brawlers!

She spills everything she knows, because despite Piper's efforts, theres no secret a Brawler can try to keep when shes around.

She didn't find out everything of course. But she knows that there were questions involving Byron and Belle. Piper hushed it up, so for sure there was something.

Edgar nods. "Totally. I think she was close to rippin' my head off once. I brought up Byron once and she was ready to chew me out." (in case i didn't make it clear, Edgar picked up a slight drawl because of belle)

"Cool!" Colette exclaimed. "..I mean, not the rip your head off part. But that is cool too. I meant do we have lore on our hands?? That nobody ELSE knows!!?"

Edgar shushed her. Byron is in his office but the shop wasn't really sound proof.

......cue shenanigans from the Coworkers trying to figure things out in their very amateurish ways compared to Piper by "sneaking" around and "nonchalantly" trying to get him to admit something.

Byron knows they're up to something, and humors them until realizing the topic when Edgar tries bringing up the Goldarm Season.

He shuts them down even faster than Piper.

Of course, instead of deterring them like her, he just confirms their suspicions. Colette and Edgar are "o yeah we are def going to get to the bottom of this."

~

So, it's plan B! If they even try asking Piper she throws them for such a loop and leaves them so bewildered that Colette even forgets to ask for anything she could keep, and Edgar didnt realize she gave them nothing to work with until they're already out the door and down the street with cake pops in their hands.

So, Plan C! ...Barley.

It's hard to find a time to go there, since it's busy when they get off work. And Barley always seems to be at one place or another....

So the kids choose the perfect time (roughly midday), and just wait for the perfect day... when Byron comes in and checks the shop, then decides on his own that they could handle it for the rest of the shift and leaves them to it.

When the stars align, the teens wait until Byron is out of sight, and close up the gift shop. Their plan is to head to the bar... and maybe try and get something out of Barley..... not much of a plan, but they don't realize it there.

They make haste, running to the bar, because time crunch (when/if complaints start rolling in.)

Bursting through the doors of the Bar, Barley gives them a look. "Don't.. do that, please."

Colette apologizes enthusiastically, and urges Edgar forward. "Ask him! I'll keep watch!"

She hops over to the door and peers through it periodically.

Meanwhile, Edgar is stammering because he didnt plan anything to say, he expected Colette to talk to the robot.

"If you two think I allow underage drinking, I most certainly do not, no matter what Penny says." Barley warns.

"Uhh, no it isn't that. ...Umm. do ya know... well, you would know about Byron, and not Belle, I guess. But they've been acting weird lately, and we want to know why."

. . .

Barley pauses in consideration.

Options and questions flood around his mind, and he still had no answer.

Wonders if he should even mention Belle's visit some time ago, or the fact that he knows more in depth about it than Byron would care for, or that if Piper found out he knew more than her, and then told these two over would she be offended? ....Actually, in that case, why was he considering telling them anyway? Well, if they were interested in the topic for genuine reasons...

Edgar doesn't even know what to do either. Barley's not saying anything.

Colette squeaks, and scrambles from the door. "Edgar!! Any luck here? Because we're out of it over there!"

"What?"

"I think I see Byron heading here!!"

Who would have thought.

this is where i kind of dropped off the outline, but to continue/wrap it up, Barley points them to the curtain that covers the back room. There's an exit there which he tells them about, but the teens stay to EAVESDROP bc they care.

Barley and Byron chat. the conversation dips into the area having to do with Belle.

Byron frowns. "If I didn't know any better, I would think you're trying to get me to admit something, Barley. I can understand Piper, but you?"

"Me?" Barley asks. "Sir, you know I never mean harm."

"..." Byron stares at him unconvinced. "If Piper did put you up to this, you can tell me."

"U.. Believe it or not, I am among others in this park who care about you, Byron."

"...." wouldn't that be nice. But Byron believes him. My bad. He humors his coworker for now. "Fine." And asks for a drink.

Barley gets him his preferred one. [Lol I'll come up with it eventually.]

They talk. Barley finds out a little more. But just a little bit. Byron... it isnt like he has practice talking about ☆~feelings~☆

The teens listening in leave before too long. Colette is like O.O;; and Edgar decides that all they wanted to know was the relation between Byron and Belle, and they got that.

She agrees, and they both leave through the back door.

Byron didn't get as drunk ofc, it's still his working hours. Just enough to loosen up a bit and get through mild robot therapy.

After his leave, Barley sees him off, and then goes to check in the back. They're gone and he has a brief "oh, thought they would have gotten the hint to, listen in. Oh, well."

[There's one more event, involving the Coworkers interacting with Belle one last time, but still unplanned <3 it leads to the meet up and the fight... somehow though. I'll release that when I think of it.]

I can also see Piper being ":0 you knew before I did? And didn't tell me? You're mischievous, Barley!" In a very light hearted way at the very end.

Barley frets ;;; "I am not!"

[pinkykitten]

Shy Love

Neil Melendez x female! reader

Genre: comedy, angst, prompt, romance, fluff 

Words: 2,304 (ok where did she come out of ?)

Request: By anon Could you do a Melendez x reader oneshot where at the hospital he’s the most shy person he’s ever seen but he happened to see her out and she’s totally different like loud and reckless and stuff, and he can’t decide which side of her he loves more and confesses

and another anon hiii idk if you’re taking requests but if you could do a neil melendez x reader fic w/ angst prompts 7 and 11 I’d be the happiest!!! (like mostly angst but ending with fluff if that makes sense)

Prompts: 7 -  “you should’ve said that yesterday.” 11 -  “it’s over, it’s done, just leave it be.”

Authors Note: MiX iT aLl ToGeThEr AnD yOu KnOw ThAt It’S tHe BeSt Of BoTh WoRlDSs!!!!!!! if you didnt get by the song i mixed two requests cuz why not but this one has a lot to do w walmart and like its funny and silly but then super angsty and gets rlly in the feels,,like its a whole lot but i love my boo sm he is lemonade

“Y/N, how would you like to join us? We’re going to the bar when our shift is over,” Neil asked you with dreamy eyes. His hand resting on your shoulder. Neil was always trying to bring you out of your shell and make you associate with your coworkers. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to gather with your workmates its you were shy around them. With your friends from your hometown they knew how odd you were and would never judge you or dislike you but all these doctors you knew were way more mature than you. They had their life figured out and you were worried they wouldn’t like the real you and who you really are. 

You grabbed all your books that you were going to study that night for a patient of yours and carried your bag. “Thanks for the invite, but I think I’m going to call it a night.” You said with a small voice, thanking him with a kiss on the cheek. 

“You sure?” Neil smirked.

You waved, “bye Neil.”

Neil shook his head at you declining his offer. All he wanted was to have a night out with you. He wanted to get to know you better.

As you stepped out of the hospital your phone buzzed with a call. You chuckled as you saw the caller ID display your friend and roommate's name. 

“Yes, Janelle?” 

“Girl, meet me at Walmart! They got the good stuff you like so much on sale.” She was sparking with such enthusiasm for something so mellow. 

Giggling you put your friend on speaker as you started your car, “I think you’re the only person I know that gets excited for Walmart.”

“I thought since you’re always so busy-”

You rolled your e/c eyes, “here we go again! Always the same topic of conversation. I’m sorry I’m over here saving lives!”

“I’m just saying I barely see you anymore. I miss you. I want to know whats going on with your life. Any guys? Lets just hang out for a little bit, please.” 

You felt bad, your friend sounded lonely and you could go for some best friend advice and love at this moment. “Sure, why not? I’m coming over! Order me something from McDonald’s okay? I’m starving.”

Janelle laughed loudly on the other end.

The burger hit the spot of your hunger. You licked your lips and wiped your fingers. 

“Do you think we need more of this?” Janelle pulled out the coffee creamer from the milk aisle. 

“Yes,” you said with a definite answer. “You drank all of the other one?”

Janelle looked at you bashfully, “oops, that was me?”

“Oops, that was me?” You repeated sarcastically. “Of course that was you. I barely get to drink coffee creamers anymore. I now drink that dark stuff at work.”

“Right, work. So how’s that Melendez doctor?”

You almost choked right there. People were eyeing you as you playfully slapped your friend in embarrassment. “Janelle! What if he’s here?”

“Honey, he probably shops at Whole Foods not at some Walmart, okay. Besides why are you so secretive about him?”

You waved your hands in front of your face to try hide your bashful expression, “Because, he’s so handsome and more mature than me. He has his whole life figured out. I’m still living off of Ramen while he probably eats with Beyonce!”

“Oh, someone has a crush! And he’s rich!”

You put bread in the cart and almost knocked the cart into an old woman, “Just because he may be rich, Janelle, doesn’t mean that’s the most important thing. But yes, Neil Melendez may be rich.” 

Your best friend and wing girl squealed louder than a pig. “Oh my God! You like him! You like him! You like him! Why don’t you just ask him out then? You are so pretty, he’d probably say yes.”

“That’s the problem. He may say yes. It’s not definite. I’m, I’m too afraid. It doesn’t matter. We are just coworkers he’s my boss and we have a professional relationship, nothing more.”

“Alright, I won’t push it anymore.” Janelle grew a big, evil, smile on her face. She skipped behind you and pushed you in the shopping cart. 

You screamed loud and whipped your head around to her, “what are you doing Janelle?”

“You’re too stressed out Y/N. Let loose. It’s time we have fun.” Janelle didn’t even give you enough time to interject because she was already speeding down the shopping lanes. She pushed you faster and faster. 

At first you were afraid but then the adrenaline got to you and you started laughing. She poured chip bags and bags of marshmallows on you to replicate rain. She twirled the cart and your cheery cackles were heard through out the whole store. 

This is what you meant. You could be a silly willy with your best friend and people that knew you. But you were too shy and afraid to reveal your fun self to others but more to Neil. You were frightened he would say you were too stupid for him or that you were not serious enough. Neil meant so much to you that you were always shy around him. You liked him so much and you never wanted to jeopardize your relationship you have with him. 

What you didn’t know was Neil did indeed shop at Walmart and he was doing some last minute shopping. 

He was peering at a bag of pistachios when he could of sworn he heard your shrieks. He paid no attention to it at first until he heard your voice nearby. It couldn’t have been you! No, not shy, flustered, Y/N. Neil turned the corner and was met with the surprise of you dancing in the shopping cart. He was a bit confused. You were always shy around him when Neil would talk and hang out with you. It was a complete 180. Who was this person? He couldn’t help but smile. You looked so adorable and cute having fun. You were being a ball of excitement. So different than how he knew you or what he thought he knew. He loved how sweet you were when you were shy but you seemed more happy now. He loved the real you. Neil even found himself getting jealous. Why didn’t you show your true, inner self to him? Were you afraid of him? He wanted to know everything about you and he felt like he didn’t know you at all. His smile started to disappeared. Neil didn’t think. Before he knew it he was making his way towards you and your roommate. 

“Hello Y/N,” Neil created a fake grin. 

You were completely horrified. Your heart pounded vigorously. Was he watching you this whole time? He probably thought you were being absurd. At once all the nerves consumed you. You became speechless. You were so embarrassed! You quickly hopped out of the cart and sheepishly put your hands behind your back. “H-hey Doctor Melendez. I didn’t know you shop here?”

“It’s Walmart. I hope I can shop here.”

Your eyes bugged out of your head. 

“What my friend means is that you look rich and so handsome that we suspected you might shop at places like Whole Foods and what not.” Janelle saved your butt.

Neil chuckled, “no, I need my junk food.” He then eyed you. “Saw you having fun here.”

You looked down, scared for his talk. 

“Why don’t I ever see this side of you? I think you should let that fire out more at work in front of all of us. I think its cute.” He winked at you as he walked away. 

“Oh my God Janelle,” you fell against the cart, leaning against it. “I think I just died. That was so embarrassing!”

Janelle danced around you, “are you serious? He said you were cute! Agh, I wish a guy would say that about me!”

“I’m so glad that’s over.”

It wasn’t over. Far from it.

Neil couldn’t sleep that night. He was angry and jealous. He wanted to start a relationship with you but he didn’t even know who you were. How was it going to work? He didn’t understand why you kept who you were away from him? Do you hate him that much?

Neil paged you and texted you that he needed to discuss something with you, asap the next day at work.

Your bones shook like a tree. You were more than nervous, you were petrified. Was this about the fiasco at Walmart or was this something more? Neil meant so much to you, you didn’t want to ruin what you two already had. 

You knocked on the door to a vacant room. You saw Neil sitting at the table through the glass windows. 

“Come in,” he said loud for you to hear. 

You walked in slowly. 

“Please sit.”

You sat, biting your lip. You played with your fingers awaiting the blow. 

“I just want to say I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me but I wanted to discuss something that’s been bothering me.”

“Yes.”

“I thought I knew you. I don’t know why but when I saw you having fun yesterday my heart hurt. It’s weird to explain.” Neil rubbed his temples, clearly this was effecting him. “I fell asleep that night thinking about you.”

“About me?” You felt flustered. 

Neil heard how that sounded and quickly tried to save himself from the grave he dug himself, “please, let me rephrase that. What I mean is, I know you for being this quiet, shy woman and who I saw yesterday was this outspoken, fun, burst of fire. Why is there such a change?”

You were afraid he was going to bring it up. You felt hot. You weren’t really sure how you were going to respond. “I don’t know.” You became shy. 

“I just don’t understand why you are so...afraid of me? Have I done something to scare you?”

“It’s not you okay,” you were becoming overwhelmed. Why did he have to bring up something you were insecure about? Why couldn’t he just let it go? “It’s me. I just I don’t-”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just want a complete honest answer. I don’t want you to dislike me. Please tell me what happened.”

You wanted to shut out everything. You were self conscious of your personality. You felt like crying. You stared at your hands and wanted to be sucked in a hole. Your lips trembled as a tear fell.

Neil saw that and felt like a monster. “I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to-”

You wiped your tears away and stood up, “You said enough. It’s over, it’s done, just leave it be.” You were about to leave but entered the room again. “I’m insecure about myself and I don’t like the real me. I’m afraid you won’t like who I am because I really like you Neil. I hide because who I really am is this crazy, reckless person. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m sorry I’m weird.” You walked away leaving Neil feeling defeated and hating himself because all he wanted to do was tell you how he truly felt. 

It was the next day and you were swallowed up in your blanket, eating ice cream and watching rom cons that were too good to be true. You felt hollow. You thought you maybe had a chance with Neil but he hated you and found you unattractive. 

Janelle came in with a guilty look on her face, “it’s okay babes.” She hugged you tight. “If he doesn’t love you then he doesn’t deserve you because you are a gorgeous thing.” She smiled trying to make you laugh. 

You chuckled weakly and cried into Janelle’s shoulder feeling like a glob rather than a person. “I even told him how I felt.”

There was a knock at the door. “I’ll get it.” You slipped on your slippers and walked around the apartment gloomy. You opened the door and standing there was Neil holding a bouquet of roses. “Oh its you.” You threw the door in his face. 

“Please Y/N I really need to talk to you.”

Janelle turned you around like a mother, “go talk to him. Now.”

You groaned as you met with Neil’s body. “What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize for the way I acted towards you yesterday. It was wrong and I am very sorry. I was being stupid. I was jealous because I wanted you to be yourself around me. I wanted to know how adorable you act and I want to push you in a cart. I want to have those fun moments with you because you are special Y/N. You have this beautiful, amazing personality that lights up the room and that makes me feel giddy. I’m a complete idiot for treating you like how I did but Y/N I like you. I like you a lot. I would love to take you on a date like a gentleman because you deserve the best. These are for you.” He handed you the roses. 

You were speechless, mouth agape as you stared at this man completely smitten with you and confessing. You smelled the roses and smiled, “they smell amazing. Thank you.”

“Phew, I’m glad you liked them because I was really nervous you were allergic or something-”

You pulled Neil’s collar and gave him a big kiss. It was sensual and perfect. It wasn’t too quick but not too long. Both lips moved in perfect sync. “You should’ve said that yesterday.”

“I really should of if I was going to get that outcome.”

Janelle started clapping in the background like a victorious warrior. “Amazing! So when’s the wedding?”

(ENDING A/N: i’m not sponsored by walmart sAdly i swear hhhhh)

Tag list: @harrington-lover​​, @angelgl16​​, @perfectlybeautifulsuit​​, @hyehoney​​, @haven-prelude (wont let me tag), @leasly​​​, @totally-alexa21​​, @creamy-pasta-boi​​, @multireese​​, @fanfictionrecommendations-com​​, @prentisskelley​​, @malereaderforkpop (wont let me tag), @guardian-of-cookies, @justafangirl-97​​, @teenageshitposts (wont let me tag), @dippergravity (wont let me tag), @some-booty, @fromfoolishpeopletodeadpeople​​, @collectiveyou​​, @wtfisalltherandoms​​, @dirbel​​, @eastcoasthaven​​, @fangirl-4-life415 (wont let me tag), @melonreblogsstories​​​​, @fandomchick80​

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[xncasi]

EDIT: jdkdjfkdkd I DIDNT WRITE A TITLE & also cuz someone requested i will deliver: a pt 2 will follow!

just a short snippet of writing i felt like doing, based off the song “Butterfly’s Repose” by Zabawa :) i edited as i went along so it might be a bit messy, i’m sorry >>>

Dr. Spencer Reid x shy!reader

length: 11.2K

warnings: a LOTTA angst, small fluff, emotional abuse, death

—————————————————

Dr. Reid is one of many things, as y/n has noticed, but she’d never say that he was overtly emotional. From the time that she started working for the BAU until now, which has been about five years, she’s come to know this enigmatic man. 

Not only has she gotten to know him though, but she’s begun to care about him. Sure, she cares deeply about the well-being of the team; which of its members wouldn’t? But this strong surge of emotions came early on and have since remained. 

She can vividly recall the first case she’d worked on with her new coworkers, back when she was fresh to the BAU. The unsub’s signature had been riddles that apparently would reveal the location or subject of his next attacks. They’d spent night after night poring over those puzzles, and she can practically taste the bitter, old coffee that the station had offered them. But more fondly she can recall Dr. Reid’s furrowed brows, the way he’d sat for hours in front of papers, trying to write down new ideas that came to mind. Y/n can remember the way his eyes lit up when he finally pieced it all together, the quickness of his words and the way she struggled to understand. 

Morgan had tried to jokingly explain Dr. Reid’s genius prior to her first case, but it wasn’t until she saw it in action that she truly understood. And, to be honest, she was intimidated.

Sure, she’d done well in her classes throughout her school career, but she’d fought so hard to reach her dream job. The endless late nights of studying and bitter tasting coffee had pushed her through all the required class credits she’d needed; y/n had never stopped working, never wanting to possibly even entertain the idea that she couldn’t make it. And to finally be able to say she’d succeeded, and then to walk through the doors of the FBI and BAU after a few years of working in the field; it was a dream come true!

And yet...she couldn’t ever quite understand how the genius was just so smart without even seeming to try. He could read full books in ten minutes, recite statistics he’d only read about once, and was able to piece together puzzles that saved countless lives. She wasn’t jealous, per-say, but she yearned to know how he did it and who he was. 

And so, the quiet and reserved y/f/n watched. She wasn’t a woman of many words, and yet she’d still been able to contribute to a variety of cases. Hotch knew that despite her lack of words she was still a valuable asset, and that’s really all that mattered to her. 

But that’s besides the point. 

Around the year mark of her joining the BAU, something happened. Dr. Reid and her had been assigned by Hotch to interview the supposed unsub’s father one last time; they’d arrived thinking it’d be another simple interview, but the father ended up pulling a gun on them both and managed to shoot him in the leg. Something about “protecting his son” she believes, but one way or another it didn’t matter. 

Dr. Reid had been bleeding so heavily that y/n had thought his femoral artery had been pierced. She’d shot down the father and then fallen beside her partner, doing her best to apply pressure to the oozing wound. Those few minutes they spent together had been filled with talking, something which she hadn’t been very good at. Who is she kidding, she STILL isn’t good at it!

But anyways, getting back to the point--

To keep Dr. Reid alert, y/n had made small conversation with him. She’d asked about his favorite books, and then his favorite lines from those books. She questioned his music taste and took mental notes on all of it. So was it a surprise to him when he’d woken up to her asleep next to his hospital bed, one of his favorite books laying haphazardly in her lap?

She isn’t sure. 

After that, their friendship blossomed. Dr. Reid would talk about his favorite books, music, or movies and y/n would listen. They’d often meet up for coffee and walk to work together, and they often were paired up during cases because of their efficiency together. Y/n favored the quieter, library-like settings of a cafe and Dr. Reid would follow suit; bars were never exactly his thing anyways. They shared coffee and tea recommendations, they’d converse about classical literature, and sometimes he would accidentally spoil books for her because of how fast he read. 

(She’d never forgive him for spoiling the ending of “A Farewell to Arms.”)

The friendship between the two of them was strong, and it grew to a point where y/n might’ve even considered him to be her best friend. 

In her third year at the BAU, though, y/n had started dating a guy outside of work. At first it started okay; they’d go on romantic dates to fancy Italian restaurants, the ones where Frank Sinatra played in the background of a dimly lit, large room. He’d brought her her favorite flowers, and he even tried to drink the tea she liked. And Dr. Reid had put up with it all, only crossly wondering to himself WHY he felt so agitated whenever y/n would bring her new beau to their bar nights. Why wouldn’t he be happy for her? Y/n was his best friend after all, and she deserved to have a man who loved her. 

Around the third month of their relationship though, he began to notice how much more exhausted y/n had become. She often was late or didn’t show up to get coffee with him in the mornings, and she was unusually silent towards everyone when working cases. Whenever she had to take phone calls she’d step outside, and Dr. Reid had to simply pretend like he didn’t see her strained expressions when she entered the room again. This continued on for a good two months before he finally stepped up and asked y/n what was going on. 

It was their first fight.

He’d simply asked if she’d been doing okay, and y/n snapped. The dark bags under her eyes and the frazzled appearance she had screamed that no, contrary to whatever she was saying she wasn’t alright. There wasn’t anything he could do though, not when she raised her voice at him for asking about her well-being. So he dropped it.

He hadn’t expected her to reach back out so soon again though, especially not the exact same night of their squabble. Dr. Reid had been flipping through the pages of an old book he was rereading when his phone began to ring. Surprised at the thought that anyone would want to talk to him at this hour, he’d picked up his phone only to hear her sniffling on the line. She’d quietly apologized many times over, but no matter what he said he couldn’t get her to tell him why she’d called. It wasn’t until he heard a familiar voice yelling in the background and a yelp of fear that he understood. 

Promising to be over soon, Dr. Reid threw his heavy jacket over his shoulders and headed out into the cold and rainy night. The whole way there he’d been touching his phone, wondering if he should’ve call again. What if something happened while he was making his way there? Should he have called the police before leaving? At least he would’ve known then that she would’ve been okay. As he pulled up to the front of y/n’s apartment complex, he spots y/n shivering miserably on the front steps.

It’s less than twenty minutes before she’s back in his warm apartment, in a dry, borrowed pair of pajama pants and one of his old t-shirts. He hadn’t asked her specifically what had happened, not wanting to dredge up any of their earlier fight, but she’d still managed to find herself talking. Dr. Reid had only just given y/n a steaming cup of tea when she’d broken down, salty tears running down her red cheeks and staining the borrowed shirt. He’d settled beside her on his couch, highly aware of the warmth emanating from her body and the way her tearful gaze avoided his. With some gentle coaxing he managed to get an explanation out of y/n. 

Her boyfriend had been cheating for upwards of two months, but she hadn’t been able to leave because of his threats. They’d always changed from one night to the next, but most of them held the same message: if you leave me, I’ll kill myself or hurt you. 

Now Dr. Reid had never considered himself to be an angry person; competition was something he avoided for the most part, and he was incredibly slow to anger. This, though, this made his blood boil. 

And so the young man had gathered y/n in his arms, comforting his best friend as he remained fully aware of how close they physically were. He told himself that this is what friends did, and her? Well, she was too far gone in her own mind to possibly even consider what could’ve been passing between them. 

Now, though, she’s fully aware of how close he is to her. Much like on that night, when Dr. Reid, no -- Spencer -- held her, she’d felt safe. Wrapped in the doctor’s arms she’d known nothing could’ve reached her, not if he didn’t want it to. 

Pressed up against his chest, y/n can feel the past two years of uncertain flirting and the dancing around each other dissipate. The months of awkward glances and longing stares has finally reached a head, finally manifested into real touches and love-filled gazes. 

She only wished it had happened sooner. 

She wished it had happened long before this case, long before they’d flown out here to take on the serial shooter that’d been terrorizing this city. Because now, with her blood pouring out of her chest and abdomen, she knows she has no time left. There’s no more time for first kisses or late night talks, no more shared coffee breaks or reading to each other while curled up together under a blanket. 

Spencer, her best friend who’d she’d loved for so long, has no time either. 

He’s holding onto his best friend’s body, pressing her to his chest with tears welling in his eyes. Sirens sound in the distance, possibly growing closer, but they’re too muted for him to be able to tell. He’d heard the shots and had come running, but it’d been too late. Y/n had been shot four times, three times in the chest and once in the abdomen. She’d toppled over, shock written all over her face as her gun had clattered to the ground beside her.

And now, she can barely remember any of it. She can still feel the ringing in her ears, but now she’s beginning to realize how hard it is to breath. She can taste the metallic tang of blood, and as she coughs and splutters she can feel it running over her lips. It’s warm, too warm. 

Fear begins to overpower her, and she finds herself uncontrollably shaking. “S-Spencer, I d-don’t wanna die,” she rasps, her y/e/c, tear-filled eyes turning to look up into his chocolate brown ones. 

He has to swallow back his own tears, fighting to hold on as he looks down at the person he’s cared about for so long. Stroking her cheek with his thumb, he shakes his head. “Honey, hold on for me, okay?” he asks gently, his voice cracking. 

“I promise I won’t leave you,” he murmurs, tears beginning to slide down his cheeks. Y/n whimpers as she begins to feel a tingling numbness move up her legs. “Spencer, I-I...I love y-you,” she whispers, her hand shakily reaching up for his face.

 Leaning down into the body in his lap, Spencer Reid presses his forehead against his best friend’s. 

Softly pressing his chapped lips to her bloodstained ones, he gently pulls away and rasps, “I know.” 

As y/n’s eyes begin to flutter closed, she grasps onto her best friend’s hand for dear life and lets out one last, heart-wrenching sob. 

[peachymarkeu]

𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰: NCT 127 x OC

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓻𝓮: Fluff, Angst & Suggestive

𝓢𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂: What is it like being an 18 year old girl that had just moved into her new apartment and then suddenly meeting the people she would consider to be her brothers while being away from her parents?

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓮𝓻 1: 𝓢𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓕𝓪𝓶𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓪𝓻

I woke up from my very long nap and searched for my phone. It was 4 in the afternoon and I haven't started to unpack my things. I sat in the corner of my bed contemplating whether I should let my laziness consume me and fix my things tomorrow morning or just do it right away. I decided to just get it done so that I wouldn't have to do anything tomorrow. I got up from the bed and started to unpack my things from my luggage. I turned on some music again just to hype me up while fixing my things.

Angel by NCT127 is now playing on Spotify

One by one, I started to place my dresses in hangers, folded my t-shirts so they were all neatly placed inside my closet. I also arranged my shoes inside the shoe cubbies and placed my other stuff orderly inside the drawers. It took me roughly an hour to finish everything since I haven’t moved in all of my stuff. My parents told me that they will be the one to bring my other stuff over on another day.

5:30 it said on the clock and I started to feel quite hungry. I went to the kitchen to search for something to cook or to eat. I opened the refrigerator and found nothing, opened the cabinets and saw nothing but cobwebs and dust.

‘Well that’s great.’ i thought to myself. Now I have no choice but to go out and buy food from the grocery store. I rolled my eyes and went to my bedroom to change into some decent clothes.

It was quite chilly outside so I decided to wear blue jeans and a white turtleneck. I put on some white Nike socks and my Nike Air-Force 1’s. I topped it all off with a big furry coat so that I’m sure I won’t be freezing while I was out. My hair was tied in a ponytail so that the wind wouldn’t blow my hair and make it all messy. 

I grabbed my keys and a hot pack and started to head out. I put on my earphones and started to listen to my playlist. Since it was rush hour, more people were seen on the streets. The sidewalks were illuminated by colorful lights from signs that are welcoming customers. To be honest, I kind of enjoyed being outside at this time. It gives me a very warm feeling seeing people around me in such a wonderful city. After a few crosses and blocks I reached the small grocery store. 

“Annyeonghaseyo! Welcome to SG27.” the sales lady greeted me as I entered the store. I gave her a small smile and a bow to acknowledge her greeting.

I went straight to the rack where they kept all of the shopping baskets and carts and decided to grab a cart so that I could fit all the things that I needed to buy. I then went through the aisle and bought food, toiletries and other household items that I needed for the apartment. While strolling through the food aisle an idea popped into my head.

‘Maybe I should give something to neighbors and befriend them?’ I said in my mind and proceeded to call my Eomma and ask what ingredients I needed in order to make homemade kimchi.

Ring...Ring...Ring…

“Eomma!” I called out to her through the phone.

“Oh, wae Yuna-yah” she replied

“Eomma, what are the ingredients that I need to make homemade kimchi? I wanted to make some and give them to my neighbors.” I asked her

“Aigoo my daughter is so sweet. Listen carefully and list down everything that I will say ok?” she then listed down every ingredient that I needed.

“...and chilli powder, that’s all you need. You remember how to make it right? You used to help me whenever I made them for my coworkers.” she said to me which made me remember all the time I would help her in the kitchen which made me smile.

“Nae Eomma don’t worry I got this” I replied.

“Ok finish up buying your things and head home already it's getting late.” my Eomma said.

“Mhm…” and I ended the call.

I continued buying everything that I needed and filled up my whole cart. I went to the sales lady near the exit of the grocery store and checked out the things that I bought.

“Cash or credit?” the sales lady asked.

I gave her my card and she processed the payment and gave me my shopping bags. They were pretty heavy but I managed to carry them back to my apartment complex. As I entered the building, I dropped the shopping bags near the couch in the lobby and stretched out my arms and legs. Exhaustion was really evident in my face which made me really embarrassed knowing how haggard I looked. A few seconds later a group of people wearing black bubble coats and facemasks entered. It creeped me out seeing these tall figures, with faces well covered as if they were trying to get away from murder or some crime. I didnt realize that I was staring until someone tapped my shoulder.

“Um... excuse me, are you going to sit down? If you are going to not please move, you are blocking the seats.” the fair woman told me.

“Oh-uh sorry” I apologized and grabbed my shopping bags and went to the elevator.

As I entered the elevator the scariest thing happened to me. One by one, the mysterious tall figures entered the elevator.

‘What the fuck, Holy Shit, this is not ok. I just moved here and now I'm going to die. What are they? A mafia? No.. No.. a cult? Please save me’ I was screaming in my mind while being pushed to the very corner of the elevator.

I wasn’t able to press my floor button but say that it was already pressed along with the 5th floor. I’m not even exaggerating, this might be the longest elevator ride I’ve ever been on. I couldn’t breathe for a second with all the anxiety that was crawling up my body. 

“5th floor” the lady elevator voice said. 

4 of them got off the elevator and before the doors closed the last person said something to the others.

“Rest well guys, we’ve got a long day tomorrow” 

‘Hold up that sounds really familiar. I know I’ve heard that voice somewhere’ i said in my mind.

We waited a few seconds again until we reached our floor. Once  the doors opened I was the first one to get out of the elevator and turned to the left. I told myself not to look back but I did anyway. I saw the 5 other tall figures go the same way I did. I quicken my pace, scared of why they were following me. I looked back again and they were still following me so I started to jog to my door. When I reached my door I searched for my keys in my pockets while they were getting closer and closer.

‘Come on, come on’ i thought to myself.

They were literally a few feet near me when I found my keys and opened my door. In a rush I started to throw the shopping bags into the apartment one by one. Easy to say that luck was not on my side because the very last bag ripped in the bottom and everything inside it was now on the floor. I spaced out for like 3 seconds then...

“Yah!” one of the tall figures shouted. He then went to where I was very quickly with their long legs.

I got so scared that I left the things on the floor and went straight inside of my apartment leaving my things on the floor. Before shutting the door I saw a glimpse of the tall figure's face.

‘Wait… Jaehyun Oppa…?’

BAAM! The door closed.

[kingneptunesthinninghead]

In your opinion, which fast food place has the best fries? i love me some mcdonald’s fries.

Are there hurricanes where you live? they happen every once in a while

What do you hate the most about yourself? I'd really rather not get into this right about now. same

What song are you listening to right now? nothing but catch fire by 5sos is stuck in my head.

What was your first concert? brad paisley 🤠.

What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? willy wonka and the chocolate factory

Who did you last say “I love you” to? My sister. probably same

Do you like pumpkin pie? it’s about the only pie i DO like.

Do you know anyone named Austin? no one i like

Do you know anyone who is having a baby? my friend just gave birth to a baby about a week ago

What was the last thing you cried about? i cried in the car on the way home from work last night while listening to jet black heart lmaooo.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? i dont drink milk.

Do you think you are an argumentative person? Definitely not. agreed, i’m conflict avoidant to a fault

How many deep dark secrets do you have? i dont think i have any

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? the hot wings from bonchon were pretty f’n spicy

Who last called you sexy? i dont remember

Would you class yourself as a good role model? i think for the most part

Are you scared of the dark? sometimes i am

Do you have a motto? nah.

Who did you last see on webcam? my club committee from school

Do you need a haircut? i just got one about a month ago so not atm

How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? that would be impossible considering she’s in menopause and has her tubes tied

You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? no one i hate facebook

Would you rather exercise alone or with other people? most of the time alone but sometimes i’ll exercise with my sister or in a structured workout class

What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? any bc i suck at video games

Ever watch the show Supernatural? nope

Ever heard of flavored honey? If so, what’s you’re favorite flavor? i’ve heard of it but never tried it

Do you remember what your favorite show was when you were little? i went thru hardcore icarly and victorious phases, also LOVED spongebob

Do you put anything besides cheese on grilled cheese sandwiches? sometimes i’ll do bacon on mine

When it comes to books, what do you think is the “perfect” amount of pages? the length of a book has never deterred me from reading it, ever.

Would you ever be interested in going scuba diving? maybe

Out of all of your friends/relatives, who would you say has the best vocabulary? not to toot my own horn but me

Are any of your fingers or toes deformed? What about the nails? no

When is the last time you cried? didnt i already answer this

Would you ever date somebody that has been divorced more than once? mm prob not

What are some stereotypically nerdy things that you like? i guess marvel and space would count

Have you ever attended a wedding that ended where the bride and groom didn’t actually get married? What happened? no but i’ve attended several weddings of people who have quickly divorced

What scares you the most about becoming a mother (hypothetically, if you don’t want to have children)? raising them to be a good well adjusted person.

Would you ever want a job in fashion? What would you enjoy about that type of job? prob not

Would you ever be a surrogate mother? nope

What do you think would be the best and worst parts about being a twin? i would love having that strong of a bond with someone and having someone to go thru life with but i would also feel like i never had anything that was truly mine esp in early childhood

Do you feel that your childhood was more rough compared to others around you? my childhood was great compared to a lot of peoples and i’m extremely thankful for that

How would you react if you found out today that you were actually adopted? i would feel betrayed that i’d lied to for 20 years

Have either of your parents ever cheated on one another before, that you know of? How would you react if you found out today that one of them cheated? not that i know of and again i would feel crushed and betrayed

Do you like cleaning and organizing? when i’m in the mood for it

How would you react if you found out you were infertile? If you don’t plan on having kids to begin with, what is a long-term goal you’d be crushed to find out was impossible to achieve? i would definitely be upset bc i want to have at least one biological kid but in the end i would find just as much joy from adopting a child and giving them a loving home.

Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country? it depends on what other factors are in my life at the time

Have you ever been robbed? no

Is anyone close to you an alcoholic? my friend at college and that’s not even a joke that’s genuine. i think he’s getting the help he needs tho which is good

Have you ever dumped anyone? no

What kind of tea do you drink? I hate tea. same it tastes like dish water

Do you know anyone in a gang? No, and I hope I never do. same

What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? omg i still remember this bc i was blown away by how sweet it was. so in 9th grade i had one friend in my pe class and idek how we started talking but we just stuck by each other bc we didn’t have anyone else and we sat at our own table right by the teacher’s desk in health class and we actually became pretty close friends throughout the year well anyway i mentioned my birthday was coming up and she asked me what i wanted and i was like no you don’t have to and she was like do you want flowers and i was like sure why not and i didn’t think she was gonna actually do it but then on my birthday she shows up to health class with these beautiful purple flowers and i was so shocked that she actually got them for me so yeah i’ve never forgotten that ever. she moved away after that year and i never saw her again but i hope she’s doing well

What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? straight but i have questioned before.

Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? nothing too wild

Name three feelings you’re feeling right now: bored, content, excited

And the reasons for these feelings? bored bc i’m at work, content bc i like the way my life is going rn, excited bc i get to go back to school and see all my college friends soon.

How do you feel about your life right now? pretty pleased at the moment

Is it easy for you to like yourself? Why or why not? no. it’s a conscious choice to like yourself that you have to make everyday and some days that choice is easier to make than others

What subjects come naturally to you? English, some aspects of science. agree with this, i’m very good at english and i understand some science

What subjects do not? MATH

Do you read more fiction or more non-fiction books? fiction but sometimes i like a good non fiction book.

How has today been for you? pretty good nothing too exciting

What did you do? watched tv and went to work

Are there any candles lit in the room you’re in? no

Are there any lava lamps near you? nope.

Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. agree i have 4

Are any of your friends a pothead? yes, several

What’s a goal you’re trying to accomplish soon? start working out consistently again and get into therapy.

Are you a high maintenance person? nope

The last time you yelled as loud as you could, what was the reason? i was at a karaoke night

Have you ever been heartbroken? yep

Who did that to you? my ex crush

Did you go through an ugly stage as a kid? ohhhh yeah

The last type of sandwich you made or ate: a ham and cheese sandwich with pepperoni and mayo

The last time you spent most of the day in bed: when i was at school and i had stayed up until 6am the night before.

The last friend or acquaintance you made: my coworker

The last thing you took pictures of: a rainbow

The last time you were scared: when i thought a car was following me the other night

The last thing you looked up online: manic panic hair dye.

The last thing you disagreed with: i don’t remember.

Does your house have a separate laundry room? yep

Do your parents still help you financially? yes, a lot

Does your car have a backup camera? nope.

Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? not to where they’ve been arrested

Have you ever had a pet that lived to be really old for its breed/species? my childhood cat lived to be 18 which was pretty impressive.

What was the last strong scent you smelled? my cat’s fart

Have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? no way

Is your bed against more than one of your walls? nope

Have you ever been attracted to someone’s parent? um yes some people i know have dilfs i’m sorry

Have you ever pole danced before? no

Have you ever broken into someone’s house? no.

Have you ever seen a live bat? yup at a beach house in the obx

What is the most amount of money you’ve spent on a meal before? i bought bonchon for my friends and i one time which was just about $100

Have you ever taken a woodshop class? no

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? as little time as possible.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? i had one math teacher in high school that consistently made me feel dumb bc i needed extra help to understand the concepts and couldn’t do mental math that fast so didnt like her

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? closest i’ve been was second row

Are your parents supportive of you? yep

[knicole0527]

How Did I Fall For Unwritten History?

So I’m in a whole relationship right? Like a whole fat ass relationship. Like me plus her equals nobody else . Its kinda dope and kinda like coccaine . If she was a drug I’d take it . She grounds me . She makes love to my mind , heart , and then my body . Her way of words sometimes makes me feel stupid because she uses words I cant imagine using . My vocabulary aint that big . But ask me about math or science ? I’m definitely ya girl . She was my missing piece . If that makes any sense at all . We definitely have our rollercoasters but I’ll killl anyone over her and I stand on that . Best part its with who I chose and not who my parents chose or approved of. I actually dont care whether they approve of me or not. Mom didnt want kids anyways. As she put it, she likes “ a return to sender kid “ I know she used to joke about it but I later found it to be true. So at this point either you like my happiness or you dont. But anyways, So we met the first time at work, Afni Call Center to be exact. She was a bet. By bet I mean with green money with coworkers. So I bet that I would get smashed by this girl and they would each owe me 50 bucks. I mean who can turn down money. Plus she was kinda cute and I know she was watching my little booty when I would walk away . I was 80 pounds lighter when we first met .

But here lately things have gone to shit . I can admit I fucked up . Well in the beginning . I cheated . She found out . But I was honestly gone tell her everything but she found out I broke her heart all that and then some . Since I put all my business out there . Only reason why I cheated was because I wanted a kid . I wanted her for sure but I wanted a kid . As time passed us by I realized she doesn’t want kids at all . So I had to make a decision , kids or stick around for my one true love in my adult life . So I looked her in the face , I probably had tears In my eyes and told her I chose her . She looked at me with confusion for a little and I dont think she anted me to flat out give up kids. But I was gone doe what I had to do to keep her by my side .

Now before we get to me cheating . I had an apartment on Old Morgantown Road . I loved that damn space man . Hard wood flooring . Storage unit . I had a w/d hook up . I had a good apartment and I could afford it and be able to live my best life . Rent was 475 a month . Utilities and water ran me about 80 . So I was well within my budget . But my dumb ass got involved with this man who I thought I could change . I was trying to hear from nobody about nothing . I wasnt trying to hear that he was cheating because I felt like I gave him no reason to cheat . I was giving him everything and then some . Hell I let his stupid ass cousin stay on my couch . So they were living rent free right , I know stupid Kendra always doing dumb shit . I should have opened my eyes but I didn’t .

Well he and I are definitely no longer together . He got my little cousin pregnant . I dont know whats worse . That she knew he was still living with me . That she knew we was kin . That he knew we was still together , fucking and living together and I never ask for a dollar . Or that my bosses had to call me in the office with another one of my cousins and sit me down to tell and show me that he was cheating and she was pregnant . It even shocked me that she tried to question me about my niggas car . Like girl he and I live together so yes maam I’m gone drive his car . and she was in shock to see me in the drivers seat . huh . Aint that funny how it all played out though ? But you know , karma got took his dick for a minute . He got the worst news of his life . His heart was just as shattered as mine . His trust was screwed if not worse than mine . He found out that while he was too busy cheating on me , she was getting knocked down by his cousin . LMFAO SERIOUSLY . He did all that cheating and got that girl pregnant and ended up getting played himself . So while I was his woman , he had a side bitch who had a side nigga , but THE SIDE NIGGA HAD A SIDE BITCH . I hadnt had sex with him in a while because things started getting to me and I was becoming very suspicious so I was still going to get checked anyways . But yea . What a fckd up love hexagon . Crazy how we all worked together . But when I reached my snapping point . I became a little on the ratchet side and called his mom and told her come get her sons belongings because he was homeless again . My cousin didnt have her own spot so somebody had to come take care of him because by that time I was done pretending .

Shit got bad for me mentally . I had me fckd up . I lost my job and went broke because I drank and popped it away . I know definitely wasn’t the right thing but I just wanted to feel numb to everything . I didnt really care how I got high just as long as I as high I was okay and at peace .

Alot of time went by and my past came back . She made me feel safe . And she saw me ; like the actual me . She knew something was up . Hell I gained 50 pounds since the last time we seen each other . But when she came back . I dont know if I was more so excited to see her or trying to fuck her right there on the floor at work . I walked in the door and the moment I seen her ... I didnt care who I was talking to , I think Wanda , I’m sorry boo but I seen my old boo and just had to do it . I could not help myself I had to hug her before I did anything else . I had a little more weight on me too because during our last encounter , hmm hmm , I was a bit smaller and hadnt grown boobs yet . So when she seen me running 90 mph to her ; baby girl was in for a shock .

Time went by and we started seeing each other a little more outside of work . Then she started to spend the night . But when she started doing that , I think I made things a little complicated for her at her moms . I had no intentions of doing so but it kinda got weird because she wasnt coming home very much any more . But yall , when I had her all to myself . Do you know how many times I undressed this girl with my eyes . I mean she standing there fully clothed and I seen EVERY INCH of her thru them clothes . It was bad yall . lol . She kinda eventually sorda moved in ; even though I thought she had already moved in . Time went by and things were okay ya know . We were just in the “ talking “ phase and just filling each other out . She started to grow on me a little more than I planned . and then I wanna say it was my birthday or after ? Baby girl was so drunk . She , our mutual friend , and I went to go grab food and drinks . Weeellllllll , I trapped her into drinking and drinking and drinking . We got home ? and she drank and and got funnier as the night went on . I remember that day like it was yesterday and the videos I have are absolutely the funniest videos I have ever recorded . “ butt clouds “ and the car honk that about gave her a damn heart attack .

Anywho times have went on . We decided to go to hilltop and live there . Who would have thought we would live together because I was stern on not wanting to live with her . It was weird living there . Always wondering if or when we were going to get a roommate . Then ? Thats the first time I ever broke a heart . See , she was always wanting to like distinguish a title. Meanwhile I am petrified of titles and labels and shit . Plus I have labeled myself for so long I didnt want to put a label on she and I . So I waited and waited and waited and decided to test waters . By testing waters meaning , I caught baby fever BAD . LIKE BAD BAD . I wanted a kid so bad I didnt think about talking to her first , I was just hoping one day I could be like , surprise baby we are having a baby ; butttttt I was gonna tell her how I got pregnant IF if actually happened . But she kinda beat me to it . She seen the messages on her tablet and as you know it went to shit from there . I broke her heart . I wasnt sure if or when she would or could ever forgive me . ( its JAn232021 ) and I know she still hasn’t forgiven me for anything . Not sure if she will ever get past it enough to love me love me .

We made it official , May 2019. By that time the only things that mattered to me were building a life with her. Come August 2020 . We got a place together and as time went on, I knew something was wrong but I would rather ignore it than have to go to the doctor because that just aint my cup of tea. I hate doctors.. they always wanna diagnose people with shit. I just didn’t wanna be one of those people so I held out as long as I could before it got to the point of being unbearable . I lost yet another good job . At first they thought it was covid and it wasnt . I tested negative for covid . Then I had like 5 appointments that following week . I was put on all types of stuff . I was throwing up everything . I was crying non stop . I was doing things not in my normal regimen . Thats when things fell harder on her . Harder as in bills , and stress and everything . I became that burden . I became the thing in the relationship that puts everything on the line . I became the complete failure in the relationship .

I wasn’t able to help like I planned . in fact my checks were so small that every pay day because I had all my bills and people I owed money to on auto pay and I kept making promises, put me in the negatives . I was in the negatives for 3 to 4 months . So imagine being the one in the relationship who didnt feel welcome . Who didnt feel like I deserved the love and things like that . All I wanted to do was help out and I couldn’t . Made me want to pack up and wait until I knew she was gone so I could leave . I didn’t know what to do . But I knew I was pretty much of no use . I knew that she resented me . I knew it pushed things back so far it may never come back to normal .

But now , Im better than I was still struggling though .  But I have this amazing job . I have a job where I can do my part and not hurt . I have a job where I can finally help out now . But its not enough . I’m not enough . The love is not enough anymore . I have became disposable . I have become the one who broke and shattered her heart and trust in her adult love life . How do I come back from it ? How do I rescue something that may have already died ? Am I worth it ? Am I better off without ? Do I deserve her ? She deserves the world and I want to give it to her I do .

But idk , maybe my mom was right . just maybe the only things I’m good at are singing and laying on my back . Havent accomplished shit yet . Got banned from a job because I tried to put my hands on someone . Got fired from 3 good fucking jobs because of my health .

Im crashing at this point . My future is on edge . I am on edge . this is not cool dude . But I will play the hand I’m dealt . Maybe I will win and marry the woMAN of my dreams . Or maybe I will just fck it up once again . We Will See .

[jadeimpala67]

Let me be clear... I didnt make this blog to be political. And if anything here needs to be corrected or addressed, let me know. I mean nothing but respect here and am just sharing my experience.

When I made this blog, roughly 3 years ago, I made it to escape other social media apps and indulge in fandoms, and crush over my favorite celebrities.

However. A lot has changed in 3 years. And I feel so strongly about what's been going on, that I need to write something in a space I know it will be heard.

Some of you who have been following me for years will remember that I was homeless for just about 6 months.

And I want to talk about this specifically because I feel it's an important example of white privilege that most people wont ever experience.

Many people in nice towns or city areas will get a specific image in their head when they hear "Homeless Person."

But that image, will not be a 5'4, bathed, 21 year old kid, working two jobs.

While homeless, I was ALLOWED to camp for 6 months inside of an external storage unit facility. I'm 85% positive the woman who ran the place knew I was living in the unit I was renting. There was an alternative gate you can get to just outside of the cameras that she never kept locked.

I would work from 10pm to 7am, to walk (I did not have and still do not have a drivers license) down the street to my morning job to work 7:30am to about 3-4pm for tips.

I often fell asleep outside at one of the tables at my second job when my shift was over, because the woman running the storage units shift didnt end until 6pm.

I never got asked to leave.

When the heat wave hit my state, temperatures up to 100⁰F, I was allowed to spend 3 entire days in the breakroom of my overnight job. Which was against the rules of the company. My supervisor told the store owner about my situation, and he took pity on me, letting me stay in the AC, with access to free samples from the grocery department, and a microwave to cook tv dinners with.

On the days where I didnt work my morning job, I would often walk down the streets, singing to myself outloud, and would camp out on the grass in front of anywhere i pleased.

I was never asked to move. I was never threatened to have the cops called on me for loitering.

When I needed to bathe, I had friends or coworkers, or my grandmother take me in for the night to shower, wash my clothes, and sleep on their couch or bed if it was available.

I almost never had to ask.

I spent money recklessly, because I didn't see a future for myself beyond my situation. I drank almost every day, because the bar was really the only thing there was to do in town when you're alone. I took uber's out of state to concerts. I participated in GISHWHES 2017, and did the tattoo item. I almost never had money saved.

I was never judged for this, or looked down on. I went to work drunk many times because I wasnt paying attention to the time, and left the bar late. My job was never once at risk.

And the biggest thing here is I ALWAYS had my backpack with me. I never went anywhere without it. And in it I always had snacks, my electronics, deodorant, and sunscreen. I was never questioned. My presence in a public store with a black backpack never made anyone nervous. I never had the cops called on me.

And to be clear, I still carry that backpack. I've had it for 3 years now, I still take it with me everywhere. I've never had one single person ever make a complaint or even give me a side eye for it. I've never had store employees ask to check it before waking in or out. Was never accused of stealing with it. Nothing. It's just an oversized purse.

And I cant help but wonder how different my situation would've been if I wasnt white. I sure as hell was not the only homeless person working at my job, yet I never saw anyone else stay in the breakroom to escape the summer heat... how many nights did they sweat or freeze alone on the streets? How many of them were arrested for trying to find shelter on abandoned property? How many of them got lucky and found somebody to take them in for a night or two? How many of them could actually drive and sleep in their cars? And out of those people, how many were arrested for falling asleep with the key in the ignition?

I never thought twice about my situation back then. I thought it was just a town full of good hearted people willing to help someone in need. Someone who took pity on a homeless 21yr old, blatantly obvious LGBT kid.

But how much of that was factored into simply because I was white?

I could sit by a lamp post and have an officer pull over and just ask me if I was okay, before leaving again.

I could take a jog around town.

I could fall asleep at my job, in public.

I could walk around with a backpack, anywhere.

I could do a lot of stuff even homeless that a lot of other white people take for granted as much as I have. Stuff that POC have to be on guard for every day or it might cost them their LIFE.

And realizing this has shaken me to my core, but I refuse to let it scare me. I'm using this time to educate myself and learn from the communities around me what *I* can do, with my privilege to help them and their communities. I may never experience their hardships, but I have enough empathy in my being to know that trying to live your life, terrified every single day from the people who took a job that's supposed to protect you, needs to change. And I'll fight on their side during this revolution with every chance I get

[lancetuckershairgel]

Summary: Chris and Lily have lunch together and Chris and Erin discuss Lucy's situation.

Words: 1,535

Warnings: child neglect, emotions

Tag List: @jobean12-blog @book-dragon-13 @southernbell91 @marvelgirl7 @buckysforeverprincess @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety @buckysteveloki-me @msruchita @mycupoffanfictionreplies

Tuesday finally came and Chris had never been so ready to get to work as he was that day. Instead of spending the weekend relaxing Chris worried about Lucy. He woke up early Saturday after a night of restless sleep and staked out the local food bank. He hoped Lucy would show up but when it closed there had been no sign of the girl. He drove around town hoping he'd be able to find her but nothing turned up. He had even checked the station to see if she'd been picked up for hitting up another gas station. Nothing. 

As soon as he got to his office Tuesday he called Erin. After a few rings she answered. 

"Hey, I need a favor."

"Okay, I'll try." Erin said then Chris could hear her order her coffee. He tapped his fingers against his desk as he waited for her to finish. "Sorry, what's up?"

"I need an address. Lucy."

"Is something wrong?"

Chris explained what had happened on Friday night and Erin sighed. 

"I'll text you as soon as I get in. I'll talk to her."

"Thanks Erin, good luck."

"You want to meet for a drink tonight? I know it's a weekday but we should talk about this."

"I agree. Six okay?"

"Good for me."

Chris hung up and went about his day. He tried to get his mind off of Lucy by interacting with the students and stay busy but he couldn't seem to focus on his given tasks. Around noon Chris went into the lunchroom to grab a slice of pizza. The cafeteria ladies greeted him with flirtatious smiles and he blushed and attempted small talk. He was used to the under the radar advances from his female coworkers, the price of being handsome his mother always told him, even the vice principal had made a pass at him just last week. He normally laughed it off and occasionally flirted back but he was in no position to start a relationship. He wasn't in the right head space that day and was completely oblivious when the cashier had basically asked him out when she made a comment about knowing a really good pizza place in the next town. 

When Chris exited the line he scanned the room for a place to sit. His eyes fell on Lily. She was wearing the same purple sweater she wore every day and she was sitting by herself. Her hair was a bit unkempt and she looked tired. Chris made his way over and sat across from her. 

"Hi Lily. Do you remember me?" 

Lily looked up and instantly brightened at the appearance of her playground friend. 

"Hi!" She frowned, her small lips poking out into a pout "I forgot your name."

"Chris." He chuckled 

"Chris!" Lily repeated with a nod "Why are you sitting here?" 

"Well, I saw you sitting alone and I didnt want to sit alone so I thought we could eat lunch together."

"Okay." Lily seemed satisfied with that answer and went back to looking at her unopened lunchbox "No one ever wants to sit with me."

"Why not?" Chris asked as he took a bite of his pizza "You're great company."

"I never have any cool snacks to trade. Just yucky crackers." Lily paused then leaned across the table and whispered "but today I have a surprise! Don't tell anyone cuz I don't want to trade." 

"What kind of surprise?" Chris whispered back, his eyebrows raised and eyes wide with equal excitement for Lily 

Lily opened her lunch box and as she was pulling out a small baggie Chris looked inside to see a half eaten cheese stick that looked too soft to be safe to eat and a small pack of crackers. Lily opened the bag and exposed three small pieces of broken chocolate. 

"Chocolate!" Lily continued to whisper with a bright smile 

"That's a very cool snack. I wouldn't want to trade either."

"Do you want a piece?" Lily picked up one and held it out to Chris 

"No but thank you. You eat your chocolate and enjoy it." 

"Okay." Lily popped the piece in her mouth "I got a whole bar on Friday and I've been eating little bits at a time because I wanted it to last."

"Good idea." Chris nodded and glanced at her lunch again "Did you already eat your sandwich?"

"I didn't have a sandwich."

"Lunchable?"

Lily shook her head. 

"No just this." 

Chris frowned. That wasn't an appropriate meal for a five year old. 

"Do you want pizza?"

"They don't let me get any because I don't gots any money." 

Chris frowned harder. He hated the county's lunch system and the way they denied kids a meal if they didn't have money in their account.  Some of these kids only ate at school. The system was so messed up yet the higher ups only cared about the money, not the benefit of the student. 

"Here." Chris slid his tray across to Lily who blinked up at him with surprise 

"What?" 

"Eat, honey." 

"Thank you." Lily said quietly and began to eat the pizza hungrily, not bothered by the fact that Chris had already taken a bite of it. 

That afternoon Chris left work in a hurry and climbed into his cruiser. He put the address Erin had text him earlier into the navigation system and drove off in the direction he was told. While driving a hundred different scenarios went through his head but none of them were what he saw when he pulled in front of the home.  A two story house with a freshly manicured lawn and a picket fence. Not what he was expecting. He climbed out and got the bag of groceries from the trunk and made his way up the walkway. He knocked on the door and as he waited he noticed a monogramed sign that said "Brookwood". He frowned. A moment later a young woman opened the door. She looked shocked to see a police officer standing on her porch and she shifted the baby that was perched in her arms to the other hip. 

"Can I help you, Officer?" She asked confused 

"Yeah, I'm sorry to bother you Miss but do you know someone by the name of Lucy?"

The woman wrinkled her nose with puzzlement and shook her head. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know anyone by that name."

Chris apologized, feeling a bit embarrassed and defeated. He went back to his car and text Erin. 

"Really? That was what the file said. Maybe they moved?" 

"Maybe. This just keeps getting weirder."

"We'll talk about it at the bar."

At the bar Chris and Erin sat in silence, both taking long sips of their beer as they contemplated Lucy's predicament. 

"She's been fine since you left. I haven't had to pull her out of class and haven't heard anything from her teachers." 

Erin had decided a while back to not tell Chris about the incident in the bathroom with Lucy. It would only make him feel guilty. Erin had tried to communicate and check up on Lucy but she only received silent glares in return. 

Chris told Erin about Lily and the empty lunchbox today and Erin gave a sad shrug of her shoulders. 

"The government is failing these kids and nothing is going to change unless people start speaking up about it." 

Chris agreed and emptied his beer bottle. 

"I just don't know what to do to help them. Not just Lucy and Lily but all of the other kids that are in these situations." 

"You can't save everyone Chris." Erin reached over and took his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze "Follow your heart. You always end up making the right choices." 

Chris gave her a weak smile. The right choice wasn't always the easiest however. After leaving the bar he went to the station. He sat down at the computer and pulled up Lucy's father's file. 

"He's got warrants in four different states including California." Chris text Erin "Mostly drug charges but he's been in and out of jail since he was younger than Lucy. Domestic violence too."

The file had no address and indicated the man's whereabouts was unknown. Chris decided to look up Lucy's name to see if she had a record. Thankfully she had never been arrested but he did pull a file from social services. Normally he'd need a warrant to do so but he didn't have the time to go through the process of putting in the order and waiting for a judge to approve it. Lucy had been in and out of foster care several times, mostly during her father's incarceration for drugs. There was a second file attached to Lucy's and when Chris clicked it his heart fell. There, staring back at him with big brown eyes, was a photograph of a little girl about three years old. There was no mistaking that it was Lily. 

"Lucy and Lily are sisters?" Chris spoke under his breath "Of course they are." 

Chris closed out the program and rubbed his face. He had reached nothing but dead ends but he knew one thing. He had to find those girls. 

[nikvs-blog]

pov rp: i try to wink at u but i close both eyes like jinsoul in this gif <3 SBJDWBDJWBDJ hello im xan im 22 & from the est timezone i use she / her pronouns & ur watching disney channel. is this super late ? yea...but thats super on brand for me its fine its fun its sexy so * jugkook vc* let’s get it !

— jung jinsoul. she/her. cis female. | was that niko seo i just saw in the hideaway lobby ? i hear the twenty-two year old spends most of their time working as a waitress, but i’ve always just seen them scribbling poetry on napkins. they live in 3A and i often see them in the halls. they always give me a vibe of making wishes on falling stars, silk ribbons adorning messy ponytails, and breakfast at midnight.

BACKSTORY

so miss niko was born in a teeny tiny suburban town in north carolina to a pair of  young high school sweethearts ! unfortunately her mom passed away during childbirth so it was a very bittersweet arrival into the world for baby niko

her dad was a mechanic who never made it to college since his girlfriend got pregnant towards the end of their senior year. they got married before niko was born though because they were pretty serious abt raising her right but they never really got the chance to /: but her dad loved his job he loved working with cars & it was something his own dad did before him plus it was a job the town really valued since it was so tiny ( u really only needed one of everything )

when i say tiny i mean everyone knows everyone tiny. growing up the town kinda pitied niko bc of her mom dying so to compensate everyone kinda tried to do their part in raising her ! her neighbors were just as much of a parent to her as her own dad was, and everyone had stories abt her mom so niko kinda appreciated how small the town was.....sometimes

that changed as she got older ! when she started high school her dad kinda entered a rough patch & started drinking more with his buddies, started working less, and niko started getting calls from the sheriff at 2 am like “hey we’re gonna keep ur dad for the night he didnt do anything crazy but he got a little too drunk u can pick him up tomorrow” sort of thing 

she was there for him every time but it got kinda overwhelming knowing everyone was in her family's business & how much kids would gossip at school or adults would give her sad looks

basically she kinda just....became very disillusioned with her reality & began to realize no one around her was really.....happy or had big dreams and their entire lives revolved around this tiny town which scared her

but also ? it had started becoming her life, too. she was voted prom queen senior year, she had a job at a diner where the same people ate everyday, she’d been dating the same boy for four years and everyone talked about how they’d probably get married soon. she’d become exactly like everyone else without even realizing it....she didnt have some big dream.....she didnt even have plans for college she was just so stuck

and then disaster hit the summer after she graduated high school. her dad had crashed right into a tree on a rainy night trying to drive home after a night out drinking & died on impact. the news honestly didnt feel real to her until her grandparents were helping her clear out her house so she could come move in with them 

which is when she finds her mom’s old diary ! and boy was that thing . fat & juicy ... it had all four years worth of her mom’s high school years inside and niko became ...obsessed with it. all she did that summer her dad died was read her mom’s old diary learning more abt the woman from those pages than she ever had from the mouths of everyone in her town

 thats how she found out her mom had always dreamed of moving to some city like seattle and starting this new life once she found out she was pregnant with niko ! so niko was like ok this has to be a sign....told her grandparents she loved them but she couldnt stay in north carolina.....and boop ! she pretty much disappeared from the town, didnt tie up any lose ends ( including her bf of four years who she was kinda engaged to ? JSDBJBDJ ) because she just had to leave that bad. 

cue a scene on bus with niko looking out the window as some dramatic song abt new beginnings plays . JSDBJSBDJW seattle was truly her new start at 18 ... and all she wanted to do was just ... reinvent herself 

so she did ! first thing she did was get a job as a waitress bc uh ur girl was BROKE broke but she knew she was good at serving. the first year was.....pretty rough there’s no sugar coating it niko was struggling bad, probably living in some questionable apartment when she wasnt coach hopping at her coworker’s places. despite all this she was....insanely happy she really believed ( and still does ) seattle is magic !

she was working at a diner ironically, just like she had been back home, but this diner changed her life about a two years ago. one day one of her regulars ( a very well off lawyer who worked downtown ) told her she was way too pretty and charming to be serving at a place like this & that he had a buddy who owned an upscale restaurant near his job downtown & that he could probably get niko a job there if she wanted

so she was like UH hell yes....showed up the next day at this fancy restaurant, charmed the pants off the owner, and the rest ? is history !  she moved into hideaways a bit after getting this new job & has been there ever since <3

PERSONALITY + TIDBITS

personality wise niko is kinda ....hard to figure out. she doesnt do it on purpose, she’s just still learning about who she is and what she really wants. back home in north carolina she was kind of the small town golden girl, loved by everyone type of deal but also very romanticized by those around her ??? ppl thought she was brilliant and knew so much about everything when the truth was she just knew a little about a lot. she would read to escape the suburban boredom of her reality & took a special interest in things like art and poetry and astronomy. shes the type to want to share the stuff she’s learned with those around her

in seattle since no one knew her the way they did back home, niko decided she wanted to keep it that way. because of this and because shes so hesitant to talk about her family sometimes she can come across as mysterious but she’s a surprisingly open person !! she’s naturally super curious and friendly and she’s found it really helps to be the kind of person people want to get to know and trust when working in the service industry. she’s got the type of aura about her that makes you feel as if maybe you’ve known her forever, even if she’s only told you one thing about herself ( which is often the case) . can probably make anyone feel at home within five minutes of talking to her & you won’t even realize how she’s doing it. her boss swears she’s charming enough to sell honey to a bee ! 

she’s also got a flighty side though that comes out when you get too close. niko’s great at relationships when they aren’t deep, but the moment you start and figure her out and see past the smiley walls she’s got up she recoils fast. in a way she’s terrified of anyone knowing too much about her because she’s scared that once they do they’ll pity her, and niko can’t stand being pitied. she’s also super good at dishing out affection but not so good at receiving it. the type to fall in love then right back out of love in one day. kinda a heart breaker bc of this but she doesn't mean to be, she just gets infatuated kinda easily & isn’t very good at keeping things serious ever since literally running away from her long-time ex in north carolina JSBCSJBDJW 

some fun facts: she wants to get a cat and name it cat so bad but she’s not sure she’d be a good pet mom so she just settles for petting stray cats in public. 100% that weirdo crouching in the street making kissy noises because she saw a cat and wants to pet it. she can name just about every constellation & loves to sit outside and look at the stars on clear nights, usually while smoking a joint . she’s a hardcore lightweight .... im talking one tequila shot and she’s floored ... two glasses of wine and she’s taking her top off  then crying kinda deal like she CANNOT handle her liquor so she tries to keep partying to a minimum. she’s got a collection of napkins from work were people have scribbled their phone numbers onto as well as a collection of napkins niko herself has scribbled on. she mostly writes poems and sometimes she even leaves a napkin with a poem on it behind at a table like a little gift for whoever sits there next. she’s probably always writing poems for all her friends or infatuations so if you’re in her life....you’ve gotten one at some point ! 

the only thing she brought with her from north carolina were all her records. she’s got a pretty extensive collection that ranges from donna summer to louis armstrong to led zeppelin & when she finally got a record player of her own in seattle it was probably the best day of her life <3 she really likes to watch scary movies but also they scare her so bad so it’s a cycle of oh yes lets watch this.....fuck why did i do that.....im sleeping with the lights on rinse & repeat. she really likes to cook ! she learned at a pretty early age out of necessity but now she does it for her own pleasure also because of her growing interest / knowledge in the restaurant industry. her wardrobe is 95% thrifted and 5% stolen from miscellaneous people ( her dad, old boyfriends, hookups, friends, etc. ) is a notorious hoodie thief so dont lend her yours......

and this is WAY too long im.....so sorry this literally always happens aha <3 yes i ramble but thats bc . i have a lot to say and i also have a lot of love to give ! spare some plots ? we can im on tumblr but i am 100% easier to reach on discord  @ EL i love u 💖✨🌙#8172 so hit me up there & lets get this show on the road baby !