#and i really think that ppl just kinda let themselves white out the parts they dont like or dont interest them but w no self awareness | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

red-dye40 · 4 months ago

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please give us the director's commentary for "IT'S NOT A FETISH THING." i loved that fic so much!!!

i live to please you anon (thank you!!!)

because it’s a one shot we’re gonna do the whoooooole thing :)

There’s a Bub’s Burger Boy piggy bank just kind of sitting on a crate in the corner–arguably the most unsettling piece of decor here.

i can’t even begin to tell you how much research i have put into determining what reverend meat is (like is he a ceramic figure or like a molded plastic or what)—based on my research ☝️🤓 there plenty of variances of big boy burger figures made by funko NOOOOW but back before like the 2000s almost all the collectible figures of the boy were actually rubbery piggy banks and i cross referenced a bunch of actual banks listed on ebay with the very few rev meat appearances and kinda settled on him being a late 80s variant (which i think lines up well with the timeline) 🤪

also fun fact @margaritaville gave me that exact piggy bank for my birthday this year :)

“So. It’s been a while.” She tries again. “Yes.” “Still killin’?” “Mmyep.”

i have such a deep fascination with nny as a side character and i have a profound fetish for the times in which he is completely disinterested in his killin thing

Nny feels a small twinge in his brain; a little shiver of something that makes him sick and overwhelmed. He presses his fingers hard against his temples to try and relieve some of the sensation.

this headache thing iss nny constantly remembering the pain associated with the head trauma devi caused him the night of their date, and the subsequent overwhelm is him realizing He Is Horny For It but doesn’t know how to proceed. later, when devi gets the same headache, it’s kinda the opposite side of the same coin.

Last month I bought a wholesale box of gas station hot pickles and stuffed them full of the white goo inside Twinkies, and I ate the whole thing in one sitting.”

this was originally a line of dialogue in ancaux!

“Nny… what you’re describing sounds less like a cause for alarm and more like a cause for… just living your life like a normal person. It feels like you don’t allow yourself that luxury, and it’s making you insane. Maybe also pregnant? If you just let yourself, y’know… eat good food, have some hobbies that aren’t murder-based, maybe make a friend that isn’t presumably that Burger Boy you can’t stop looking over at–maybe you won’t be such a raging lunatic all the time? Or, I don’t know, it could be a nice start??”

i imagine devi suffers from the virgo disease of needing to problem solve everything—like she can’t help it, even when it’s for someone she absolutely detests. it all seems so simple to her, like just stop being fucking crazy!!!!

though i never stated this ANYWHERE in the text, i placed this fic a few months after nny’s phone call apology, and in that time devi’s taken some good care of herself, less full of rage and more just like. wow that guy is so fucking sad and pathetic. i would love to fix him or maybe just tear his guts out.

There’s something extremely unprepossessing about your victim willingly offering themselves up to you. She unenthusiastically grabs him by the wrist. Turns his arm over.

i reeeeeeeally wanted this whole part to feel. almost boring, definitely awkward. consent is obviously good and communication is good and also what i think a lot of ppl maybe don’t realize is sometimes this negotiation grinds things to a halt and devi was really hopin she could just roll up and maim this fucker.

Devi can tell that, behind his hands, Nny is blushing hard again. She can’t get enough of this power dynamic.

i also have a fetish for absolute maniacs melting into a puddle because a hot girl has the upper hand and is kind of making fun of them for being a sniveling brat

“You are so incredibly fucked up.” She tells Nny. He kinda chuckles.

i really like this little exchange honestlie :) i think it must be kinda fun to share the full scope of his “”””hobby”””” with someone who won’t immediately run away and maybe even on some level appreciate it. like devi’s disturbed, yeah, but she knows she can best nny so she’s not really scared of him, and she’s about to use all this stuff on nny so rn she’s kinda into it? maybe that only makes sense to me but :)

His finger dislocates like nothing, right at the base, and he feels a gross shooting pain run all the way down his wrist. The air is still thoroughly knocked out of him, so he can only wheeze and kick his legs. Devi gives the same finger a little twist and a little tug. She’s almost hoping it’ll come right off and maybe sound like a cork popping when it does. Instead, little blood spots begin rising to the surface right at the point of tension, forming quick and easy bruises that swell his joints. She feels satisfied with that–she releases the forceps, but keeps her grip on his hand so she can move right along to the next finger.

i rewrote this part soooooo many times. originally i wanted devi to slowly saw off his fingers, one at a time, and she was gonna be talking a lot more doing it. there was a though that this fic was actually gonna be one in a series of three, and with each installment the violence was gonna get worse and worse and more and more blatantly horny. so i pulled back on the amount of gore and made devi talk a whole lot less bc she’s just so focused on “making it feel good”. eventually tho the second installment turned into sexual trauma clip show and became its own thing, so i sometimes wish i made this part grosser. but i also think i’ve read it so much i’m completely desensitized to it.

His mouth is a mess of spit and blood and mucus. Tears are streaming down his face and he’s moaning, kind of laughing, fully blushing and heaving.

I HEART FLUIDS!!!!!!!

Then a huge barbed hook, mounted at the end of a pole almost as tall as her. She starts to pull it down. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Nny deflate a little.

pssst! it’s the hook nny used to cut mmy open!

“Show me where.” She orders. He nods again. With a weak and shaky hand, he points down to the lower part of his abdomen, not quite in the middle but presumably far away from anything vital. Devi takes a breath. Sidles up a little closer. Her left hand, harsh but tender, grabs the back of his head. She pokes the tip of the knife right where Johnny had pointed out. And it’s a risk, but he holds out his hand under Devi’s to offer to guide her along. She thinks about it. Takes another breath. Moves to wrap her left hand around Nny’s fingers, around her hand holding the knife, and the two of them go for it.

when i was writing this i was like “ugh this is too sweet for them” and really was scared it felt out of character, too shippy, etc. but i also do think devi would not want to actually kill someone, not even nny, at least not in this narrative. the cover art i made for this fic has a screenshot of a google search that says something like “places to stab someone that won’t kill them but will still hurt” which is truly what i searched in order to figure out where she could stab him.

His face drains of all color. His eyes kind of roll back in his head. Something guttural sounds from the back of his throat. His grip on Devi’s hand lessens, and all at once his arm drops limp at his side.

death gurgle as a metaphor for cumming

THATS PRETTY MUCH ALL I GOTTA SAY ABT THAT!!!!!! thank you again for ur kind words :)

#jay tee aych em

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sensei-venus · 2 years ago

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Hi could u write a blurb or hcs of poly hawk and moon with a shy chubby fem reader who struggles w talking to strangers especially ppl in food service bc she's scared they r going to judge her so hawk and moon order for her bc they know she gets anxious?

(Unedited) (Support Links🌺)

Reader chewed at her lip as she read over the menu in her head. Her eyes scanned over the words multiple times as she tried to find something she might like. Everything sounded so good in her head. Reading it over and over again she started to see that there wasn’t much she could confidently say she had before. This place was definitely different than her regular food hangout.

When Moon told her and Hawk that her mom gave her a special gift from a fundraiser she had gone to a few weeks back, she didn’t automatically think it would be a reservation for a table at a fancy restaurant.

Of course she said yes to her girlfriend and luckily their boyfriend Hawk was able to go as well. It was supposed to be a fun night out together.

The girls spent all afternoon getting ready, pampering themselves for the night ahead. It was mostly just them doing skin care together, painting each other’s nails, outfit planning. And of course a whole bunch of laughing and giggling about how much fun they were going to have. Reader had never really been to a five star restaurant before so she was both nervous and excited. Moon had never been on a date, let alone a three-way date, to a fancy restaurant like the one they were going to.

Both girls couldn’t help but giggle at all the fun thoughts about how the night was going to play out.

They made sure to text Hawk all day and tell him about their plans. Both girls made sure to remind him to dress nicely for the date. They both picked out nice dresses for the night so they expected him to dress just as nice in a good suit. Both girls openly drooled at the mental image of their boyfriend picking them up for the night in a nice suit.

They spent the later part of the day and early night getting ready. Doing their hair and make up together. Reader helped Moon zip up the back of her dress and Moon helped pin Reader’s hair just right. Lots of messy lipstick kisses in between. They both had to reply lipstick and lip gloss multiple times before Hawk showed up to take them. As soon as he showed up to take them, they couldn’t stop kissing until they got to the restaurant.

Now they were sitting at a nice table on a grand-looking patio.

Fairy lights and fancy potted plants and flowers over looking a fancy pond. Reader and Hawk where in awe at the size of the fountain in the middle of said pond, it shot water into the air with a brute white light in the middle. It was so luxurious. It was a beautiful landscape, to say the least.

The place wasn’t overly packed but then again everyone there had made reservations for the night.

Reservations only.

They had been seated pretty quick and served their drinks within minutes of sitting down. The service was amazing, everyone there was so nice.

“Do you know what you want princess?” Hawk said as he put his own menu down on the table and looked over at Reader. His eyes almost glistened on the soft white light of the lateens that lined the patio. Moon also smiled over at her, cupping her hands before reaching out for both Reader’s and Hawk’s.

Reader sat the nice menu down before taking their hands with her own small smile. They couldn’t help but smile as she gripped their hands, giving a small reassuring squeeze to them both.

“Well I kinda want to try the pesto pasta? Iv never had it before. It sounds interesting enough to give it a try.” She gave a small shrug.

Moon perked up and with a small gasp said “Oh yeah that’s one of my favorites! All their ingredients are organic- I’m going to try something new but that’s one of my favorites from here. Trust me it’s going to be good.” She giggled as she played with Hawk’s fingers. Hawk in turn rolled his eyes.

He gently lifted Reader's hand and kissed it quickly before setting it down.

“Yeah I have no idea what that is, I think I’m just going to try out their fancy-sounding chicken parm, my mom makes it a lot and I like it. I don’t see the harm in trying it out while I’m here.” Moon grinned “Very adventures babe, very out of your depth.” All of them have a short laugh at her sarcastic comment.

They where already having so much fun, and it was so romantic. Just the three of the enjoying themselves and the night. It felt so “adult-like” and fun. Reader felt all bubble just from all of this. She wondered if her partners felt the same way at that very moment.

The fun was short lived as the waitress came back over to their table. The sound of her short black heals clicking over the hard patio tile sounded behind her as she approached. Reader felt her stomach drop a little. The idea of telling her order to a stranger started to scare her. A bit of social anxiety sparking up. She thought that maybe tonight things could be different and she could get passed her fear of strangers.

Clearly not by the way her mouth went dry and she swears her tongue goes numb.

“Hi guys, if your ready I can take your orders and get them back to the chef.” Her voice was sugary sweet. Her eyes were round and big and she radiated a bubbling personality that made Reader’s gut feel heavy and her heart drop.

Moon happily gave her order, having no issue as she had been here before. She knew exactly what she wanted and how she wanted it. She smiled at the older women as Hawk went next. He was more serious and fluid with his order. He stated what he wanted simply and quickly.

“And what can I get for you dear?”

Reader felt like she was in a void at that point and she couldn’t help but ball her fist up in the bottom of her dress. Her eyes darted from the closed menu to the women and back. Her face felt to hot and her head started to feel fuzzy. Maybe even her heartbeat started to speed up.

“I can come back and give you a minute to think-“

“No! It uhhhh-“

“She would like the pesto pasta, and for the side she would like the soup hold the —— she doesn’t like them. That will be it.” Hawk said in a serious but still light tone.

“Oh and can you put extra —— in the soup, it’s her favorite.” Moon smiled at the women as she wrote down the new order. She smiled at the three teens before giving a small nod and rushing off to get the order filled by the chefs inside the restaurant.

“You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“But we wanted to!”

“Yeah, we got you Princess don’t worry. We will make sure you always get what you want, with no exceptions.” Hawk leaned over and have her a soft kiss on the lips.

It was soft and sweet. They slowly separated, Hawk, leaning back over to his other side to give a similar kiss to Moon who smiled into it.

Once they parted, Moon, almost as if she was in a haze with half-lidded eyes leaned over the table towards Reader. They met half way and kissed over the table. They both smiled and giggled at the end as they slowly separated from each other. Hawk grinned the whole time as he watched them part.

All three of the softly holding hands and shearing kisses all night between eating and talking.

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ltadoriyuujl · 1 month ago

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read the cws on this one and immediately had to put it down and come back when i was in a better position to not explode on impact but im back and GOD was it worth it. let's get into it.

You wake first, tucked and folded into the space between your prince’s chest and the wall.

smth smth bkg would hollow out his chest if it meant we could sleep even a bit more soundly

“Selfish fucking–” “You're injured,” you try to dip closer in inspection but Bakugou riots. In the ballroom he clung to you, in the shadows he invited you close, in this hallway he is the sun of your orbit. He is fire. Your prince jerks a hand over your bandaged heart without much mind to your company and seethes, “You are reckless.” “I am exceptional,” you breathe without thinking. He is the brightest, angriest thing in the sky. He is arora and you’re a girl in golden fields, staring. His fingers warm your breast where dragontooth used to perch. Does he not get it? “I will die for you.”

this part made my head spin bakugo vs falling in love with ppl who can kick his ass and are not apologetic about it

“Pantry mission.” Kaminari shrugs to hoist his bread basket high enough for you to see, “Food and rest..” he grins Alderan. You finish, “build blood.”

it's kinda crazy the real allegiance i feel to this fake country. need a tshirt that says proud citizen of aldera

Soldier Sero instinctively drops his head to speak to you, “No sign of him since last night.”

this shouldnt have made me giggle like it did I LIKE WHEN MEN ARE SUBMISSIVE SUE ME

“Kill a mage, call for help, go the fuck home,” Mina grumbles with a moutful of bread.

she's so real love her

He glows in the remnants of his formalwear, stripped down to a bloody undershirt and charred white trousers.

i know he looks so good with his arms out GOD

“Me?” You almost snort. He tries not to let your amusement warm him, not an ember, not a spark. You begin fingering through your bandages again and he instinctively reaches to stop you. “You are not my queen to be doling out orders like that.”

i really do love how both bkg AND eyes grew over the course of the story. she never wouldve dreamed of this conversation back in featherbit

Bakugou is a cocky brawler on his first day of training with Jeanist and you are lugging weapons to the Keep. He is suffering through class and you are just outside the window, rushing to your lessons still trailing smoke and dragonfire. He is kneading dough before the holiday feast in roaring kitchens and you are armed, halberd and crossbow over your shoulder, collecting a plate the cooks put aside for you.You are supposed to be sleeping. He is supposed to be sleeping. You are both pretending to watch the stars and not each other in the library at midnight.

they're having a yearning off. a devotion competition if you will.

He stops you talking with a shake of his head and winces again when you rip another bandage free, “Will you stop it!”

You are swelling with Alderan fire, a pot boiling over, a hound, a dragon, a phoenix itching to fight. When you smile for bloodlust it is even more beautiful. He doesn’t know he is holding you until you stop speaking.

they're so "missionary to continue our argument from before" coded

“..Katsuki,” you murmur, and he kisses you. You who are just like him.

pomme if you were listening closely you could actually hear me cheering and screaming from halfway across the world

“I’m sorry,” he gasps in correction. He holds your head in his hands like a gentle promise even as his bones break themselves to be closer.

he needs to be fused to her bonesss he needs to be in her skinnn REAL MEN ARE BACK

He is nervous, he is trembling, you are something else, something black and infinite.

scared and horny alternating like a feedback loop in his mind until they become the same emotion

Your prince takes your jaw back up between his fingers and molds his lips to yours like he might give his life to you.

im dizzy im dizzy ive waited 87 years for this day and it was worth every second

He catches your throat with his teeth in your surprise above him and lays as many kisses up your pulse as you will let him before cupping his stinging jaw back up where you want it.

feeding my "katsuki the hickey king" addiction THANK YOU POMME

The swell of your thighs is unbearable in his palms. Your tattered dress parts for him– your damp flesh vibrates with his magic and he wants to sink so deeply inside of you– it is the only thing can could heal this ache, the one thing to make it worse. He wants to hear just one noise. Who taught you not to make a sound? Why can’t he stay quiet?

it is too much the picture of you, laid out under him in half-torn clothes, overheating, breathless– inside, let me have you, hips grinding through this heat until–

need to be bouncing and gasping and moaning on it OMG WHO SAID THAT

“Please,” Hawks groans, suffocating, into the Alderan pillows propping him up on the bed, “don’t fuck in here.”

genuinely made me laugh

bkg and anika 🤝 bkg and eyes

"for the love of GOD get a room without an audience"

“She’s,” he grunts, thrashing against his restraints, “she’s escaped.”

SOUND THE ALARM WE GOT A RUNNERRRRRR

anyway this chapter cleared my skin watered my crops seasoned my food to perfection WE LOVE YOU POMMEEEEE

𝟏𝟗 | 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬

ー✧ prince!bakugou x royal guard!reader

"He quiets you with the sound and your smile falls. You are captain of the guard all dressed in red, training squires on spring mornings. He is the king who rises at dawn to watch you."

cw suggestive, kissing among other things, tooth tongue saliva, fingers and lips, manhandling, grinding, disregarded injuries, an audience if you squint. a beleaguered team regroups in the castle underbelly and someone is a flight risk. yn is thrilled and itching to fight but her prince can't focus. he can't let her go 5.2k

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Autumn in Takoba is hell everywhere else and even with the first ticklings of sunrise, the cold is immeasurable. Like the queen made a deal with grief and now her country becomes her heart. You wake first, tucked and folded into the space between your prince’s chest and the wall.

Your comfort is found between groggy thoughts, in the rough blanket someone has wrapped you up with, and in Bakugou’s arm that falls over your waist to keep that warmth inside of it. He’s dreaming, muttering something into the back of your head. He smells like home. Even unconscious, his bicep strains through the effort of holding something gently.

The night returns to you in pieces under the pathetic white light of a candle sconce. Something nearby reeks of the sea. A single roll of your shoulder confirms the bandages there, crusted in stiff blood and still too sore to stifle a wince because you were something not quite war fodder. A golden hand flexes broad across your stomach when you fidget in the dark. You were a guest at the queen’s ball, you were target practice, you killed Takobans. You underestimated your bloodloss. You are falling through the air into Bakugou’s arms again, dancing, glowing, bleeding, clingy. The king embraces his undead son. The mage. You fly up to sitting so quickly the world cannot react to you.

Bakugou is curled around the space you left in the dark, bloody and spattered with ash. His own blanket is pulled up over his jaw to ward off the chill and behind him is Mina, cheek flush to his back. Blood crusts down her temple in a path from her hair.

Sweat has soaked into the two places the prince held you most closely and chills now in the free air, heat and damp from his breath at the nape of your neck and down the small of your back where his hips cradled yours all bundled in good-enough blankets. The sweat is welcomed, it is ammunition, it is warm, it’s proof of your still beating heart. Don’t need a fucking babysitter. Cover yourself. Quit starin’. Don’t call me that. Eyes! You are mine. His eyebrows flex and knit in the seconds before he wakes up, but he is safe and he is exhaustingly whole.

It stinks like ocean foam because this hallway where you shelter is in the bowels of the castle, deep in its belly, tucked under the kitchens where your prince hid from you for weeks. Damp stone, fire in the air, the memory of this hallway from over the prince’s shoulder. Of stepping through the only red door here and returning to Aldera.

“Y/n?” A voice floats in whispers through the dark and down the hallway from the dim light of another candle.

“Who's there?”

There’s no response, no time, before one golden hand is flat across your chest and your prince raises his other to the sound, bristling with sparks. Bakugou startles from sleep and pushes you behind him. Mina groans, rubbing the back of her head.

In the dark, damp, and cold, he is made of starlight. When your prince exhales, the frost from him is tinged with tiny sparks.

“Calm down, Sleeping Beauty.”

You realize as the prince does that the voice is Shinsou’s and in the momentary relief Bakugou swings on you. Even before the Takoban guard can emerge from the dark he turns, hands snapped around both your wrists, apprehending his criminal. Red eyes, breath of smoke and a growl, the boy who laughs when he dances is back at home and you are left with the prince who hates your company.

“You.”

A defiant breath falls from you but you don’t dare voice it. No longer hidden in sleep, his still-beautiful face is marred at the jaw, a red burn in the lopsided shape of a hand. You would take his cheeks up in your fingers if he weren’t holding you steadfast. You would take the head of the man who hurt him. Your prince tightens his grip. He is staring strong enough to brand his fury on the backs of your eyes and without his chest, without your blankets, the chill creeps in like a tide.

“Selfish fucking–”

“You're injured,” you try to dip closer in inspection but Bakugou riots.

In the ballroom he clung to you, in the shadows he invited you close, in this hallway he is the sun of your orbit. He is fire. Your prince jerks a hand over your bandaged heart without much mind to your company and seethes, “You are reckless.”

“I am exceptional,” you breathe without thinking. He is the brightest, angriest thing in the sky. He is arora and you’re a girl in golden fields, staring. His fingers warm your breast where dragontooth used to perch. Does he not get it? “I will die for you.”

Too much and not enough, he is spiteful and aggressive and alive, and maybe now he hates you enough for Takoba to have been a dream.

“Where is our company?” You speak again, nerves itching.

“Think they’re lost without miss martyr?”

Mina swats at him but he doesn’t let you go. “What’s wrong with you?” He glows at the edges like you haven’t seen since the forest outside Takoba. Bakugou’s teeth are bared but his wrath is different than before. He’s not picking a fight, he’s not forcing himself free of you. Your prince holds you tight in front of him where you cannot hide. He stares.

“Highness, where are they?”

“In the castle,” Shinsou interjects. He points up with a finger when he approaches your little group and emerges from the shadows in odd pieces of armor– greaves, cuisses, and faulds but nothing other than light padding on his chest. He yawns and he is bloodspattered. He looks like Uraraka and your panic begins to rise.

“Highness?” You turn back to the scarred prince who will not release you. Kirishima is not nearby, Kaminari and Sero, Uraraka, Fuyumi– “There’s no time, we–”

“We? We don’t have to do anything,” he drops you gently even though he is angry and you shake out your shoulders on instinct. “You need to sit the fuck down for once in your life and trust someone without a stab wound to shovel this shit.”

The hallway is different than you remember, it is colder without your fever, it’s taller. Shinsou yawns again and behind him you can just make out mixed voices in the dark. Your prince is orange amber, molten honey, chip and shoulder. He does not rise but tosses blankets away towards you like he no longer needs comfort. Mina glares over his back.

“How long have I been asleep?”

“It’s almost dawn,” she replies, helpful, not so much like magma. “We escaped down here with a few others but–”

A sudden scraping door overhead forces your group to lurch towards the ground. Shinsou drops to a crouch, hand on sword, and creeps forwards into the dark. Bakugou isn’t far behind, a warning hand outstretched to try and keep you down. “Fear not soggy citizens,” a voice hisses from the source of the sound and Bakugou straightens immediately. “We’re back.”

“Took you long enough,” Shinsou is firm but fond and you and Mina creep behind your prince to peer deeper into the dark. The charred remains of her white gown are stiff with mixed blood. Who’s out there? A few shapes catch light from a sconce past Shinsou’s shoulder and you have never been so unarmed in your life. The prince refuses to let you in front of him.

The light ahead flickers when someone handles it. Prince Natsuo– dusty but alive, thank gods– is illuminated clearly for a moment as he takes a candle from its sconce and a pair of footsteps descend from the kitchen door above. Kaminari and Shinsou stride down the last stairs into their prince’s hidden hallway and beam over a bounty of bread baskets.

More candles are lit by the Takoban prince and the hallway is quickly not so dark and not so lonely. A handful of Takoban lords and ladies lay scattered at the edges of the hall, all deep in sleep. It’s difficult to navigate but you rush past a golden arm and towards the Alderan boys, rejoicefully free of blood, as quickly as you might without stepping on sleeping hands so that your relief doesn’t overflow in loud noises.

“Where were you?”

“Pantry mission.” Kaminari shrugs to hoist his bread basket high enough for you to see, “Food and rest..” he grins Alderan.

You finish, “build blood.”

Sero starts speaking over your shoulder and you turn to catch the briefing for your prince and the Takoban guard, “There were no combatants in the kitchens. A few shuffling feet from the dining hall when we checked under the doors, otherwise,” he hands his basket off to a bloody and impatient Mina, “otherwise, I think they must be patrolling the exits.”

Bakugou grunts and chews at his cheek. It’s not lost on you how pointedly everyone speaks over your head, like you would throw yourself onto the nearest broadsword if given the chance to fight. Though, if you could see the amount of blood in your bandages you might hesitate to speak to you too. The cloth is stiff with it even if you’re no longer bleeding, but the wound that pinned you to the floor, the poison that knocked you from consciousness, no longer grip you with their icy fingers and you thank Shuzenji. You’re sore not a war casualty. Your friends are being hunted upstairs. If it takes the general’s voice to be noticed, so be it.

“Where is the mage?”

Soldier Sero instinctively drops his head to speak to you, “No sign of him since last night.”

“No new fires,” adds Kaminari, “he could be anywhere.”

“Where is the doctor?”

“You’re awake.” You turn to the new rasp from the floor. Screaming her son’s name once used up all her voice like a long night singing and Queen Rei is scorched at the edges, but alive, in a pile of rumpled skirts. She sits among her sleeping people as Natsuo lights a candle for her to hold, “The doctor is upstairs, I’m afraid.”

“Still with the princess?”

She stiffens but nods, “We can hope.”

If that’s the case, you can also hope that they’re being protected by the two champions you left them with. You speak as you turn, “How,” and Bakugou’s silent eyes are the first you catch, full of something, “are all these people still asleep?”

The group gestures to Shinsou in their own ways– Kaminari cocks his head, Sero points with a shoulder– “We couldn’t know who was friend or foe,” the apprentice clarifies of the civilians the group managed to collect on their way down to the safety of this underbelly. “We still don’t know. It’s not safe to keep them conscious with the queen, not while we have so many injured.”

“How do we proceed?”

The group hums for a moment before Sero clears his throat, “We can’t escape with a group this big,” he looks to the bodies littered and pushed to the sides of the hallway, “we could be caught and with so few fighters, with so many injuries…we’d have to send a scout ahead and Shinsou’s the only one here besides His Highness and Her Majesty who knows this castle well enough to outsmart turncoat guards.”

Your ears perk at the claim and your prince bristles. Takobans are not the only ones here who have memorized cold hallways.

Kaminari interjects, “But without Shinsou here to keep the civilians out cold, if a potential traitor wakes up–”

“Worse– if the scout is caught upstairs with no way to communicate– overwhelmed in numbers– gods forbid the mage– we don’t know what weapons they have up there but we have to assume that it’s, it’s everything.”

No help’s come yet,” Mina adds to Sero’s point and drops to a seat on the cold floor to eat.

“So assume none will,” you exhale and she shrugs in agreement. You nod a few times and review your company. They are battered, all of them, and your breath inflates frost in stubborn puffs. Assume every enemy is dressed in Takoba’s full armory, how many survived the night? How many know about this secret Alderan hallway?

If the royals stay hidden here, Shinsou must stay too. Two exits, one to the kitchens and the other straight out to the beach where any mage worth their magic would keep a close eye. Too open. The only way is up, and more accurately, through. “We just need contact with the outside. Reinforcements.”

“Blasty could get out no problem, but we have to assume guards stationed in the city are working for the mage too.”

“Can we get word to Aldera? Another kingdom nearby?” Kaminari speaks with his hands like he’s grasping at thoughts “Carrier pigeon?”

“Not how those work.” You massage your knuckles with your thumbs, “We need the doctor.”

Mina’s magic hasn’t returned, what about Aizawa? Is Hawks alive? This party isn’t enough without the doctor’s magic, You need Kirishima and Uraraka, and the youngest Todoroki prince and his champion if you could manage it. Where is the useless king?

“If there were no injuries what would the plan be?” You roll your sore shoulder back and then freeze. There’s a weight under your bandages.

“Kill a mage, call for help, go the fuck home,” Mina grumbles with a moutful of bread. She rifles through Sero’s basket to find the softest pieces. Rolls are tossed to conscious members of the party, fresh and sweet, and you catch Bakugou’s eyes once more. His clenched fists give off the faintest popping. The prince you know wouldn’t be so quiet, he wouldn’t let his friends– wouldn’t let anyone– venture into the dangers of the castle without him.

“Highness?” you attempt as Mina pelts him with a pandemain. “Are you injured?”

Mina raises her hand, “I’m injured.”

The question unbalances Bakugou who simmers behind you, but he redirects his anger quickly enough with a gnash of rations. His burn almost glows under his jaw. “Course not, you are.”

“It’s my job to be injured, sir. What are your orders?”

He snaps forward but you are already palming your bandages. It’s still there. He glows in the remnants of his formalwear, stripped down to a bloody undershirt and charred white trousers. He glows in anger, he glows with something you don’t recognize and the prince who hates your company thrills you once more. You will kill the mage and you will take him home. You press your fingers to the shape tucked between your bandages like holding a hand over your heart.

“Then, I request an audience with His Highness Bakugou Katsuki.”

Hell can’t deny you. Bakugou reluctantly marches you down the dark hall and curses Alderan pride. A prince would never refuse his general’s audience.

You’re walking well, your breathing is even. He clenches his jaw instead of picturing the last time you came to his room, half on his back, half in his arms, all saltwater and sweat heartbroken with fever. The braids you keep neat at home fray in Takoba. The remains of your red dress are eaten black with burns and you are more phoenix than dragon ahead of him in this hellish castle.

“In,” he grunts when the red door is finally in front of you, “quietly.”

You turn around to confirm, turn into his chest and look up at him with those horrible eyes he loves to see watching. He rolls his own and pushes you both inside.

The air is iron with blood. You startle the second you enter because Captain Hawks is sprawled sideways on the bed under furs, back exposed to the cold air without life in the fireplace. His wings, wings, are a collection of odd scorched feathers protruding from his spine like boney fingers and a few feathers litter the pillows keeping him turned on his side.

They did their best posting him up after carrying him from the party, but even Bakugou concedes the scene is grim.

Candles are lit at intervals around the room, a few on the mantle and a dozen around the floor on mismatched candlesticks. Furs and tapestries are nailed over windows so that the light can’t be seen from outside. Aldera is three days away, home is only three days away and he can’t even get his people outside of the city gates– outside of the castle.

You take a deep breath and face him, “What’s your–” But he can’t let you speak.

“You’re not fighting. No more, you are completely reckless.”

“Stay here.”

“You are my job,” your voice staggers a bit when his hands take up yours to keep them from pulling at your bandages but you stare through surprise with glinting, obsidian eyes, “my purpose.”

Will you stay when this is over?

You stare through him and Bakugou stares at you in the candlelit chill of this makeshift bedroom. “Who mended your cape, Highness?”

He furrows both brows and sighs. He won’t win, “A friend.”

You’re smiling now which he should hate and in one jerk of your arm you tear a strip of bandage free. Dust of blood and the crack of its cast make him wince, but under the red material, soaked pink from your wound, is a small stitched square, a repair date, and a family seal. Yaoyorozu. “The traveling merchants Yaoyorozu don’t only mend capes.”

“And?” Of course they don’t. They’re the richest family on the continent, engineers, the lot of them.

“This seal is on half the tonics in the potions closet and on half more in the pantry. Weapons, clothing, ammunition–”

He stops you talking with a shake of his head and winces again when you rip another bandage free, “Will you stop it!”

“Aldera couldn’t study dragons without the tools that family designed– Takoba would succumb to winter every year without their insulation, without one of their boats in port. They are ubiquitous.” You continue unwrapping yourself, bare skin becoming raw scar until a piece of glass glints under the last of the wrappings. You tug it free before the stiff bandages even fall, and press it into Bakugou’s chest.

The glass is warm with the heat of your heart and you beam so close to him. He studies you. His hand closes over yours.

“Highness, we can fight with this. We can fight the mage and what we have left we’ll bring home. The Yaoyorozus can engineer something to reverse the effects– we have allies– not just them, we aren’t– aren’t–” You are swelling with Alderan fire, a pot boiling over, a hound, a dragon, a phoenix itching to fight. When you smile for bloodlust it is even more beautiful. He doesn’t know he is holding you until you stop speaking.

Bakugou cups both of your cheeks as you offer up the mage’s stolen vial of poison. You are formidable. You are terrifying. He holds you like you might go out candlefast in a breeze.

“We can still–”

“Y/n,” he quiets you with the sound and your smile falls. You are captain of the guard all dressed in red, training squires on spring mornings. He is the king who rises at dawn to watch you. “Thank you.”

The corner of your bodice has been cut away to expose your wound for the doctor and it is raw at its edges so close to your heart. Your collarbone shines with the new and mended skin there. Another scar from a wound that might have killed you, another injury you took in his place. You are reckless but that’s not the problem. Maybe derealization will hit Aldera after you die. Did you outsmart the ghost even as you were being raised from the dead?

“Highness–”

“Don’t.” Bakugou traces the shape of your pulse with his thumbs, “Don’t call me that.”

He’s hardly thought about home since you laughed with him on the catwalks. Since he gave you his hands to do what you’d like with and you told him they make something beautiful. He always thought he might not be able to hold things gently. He knows it’s hard, he knows his hands are meant to break and burst and destroy, but you are a relief. Your hands can kill, they can catch, they fold laundry, they break joints, and they tremble when sparks run through them.

“I don’t–”

“Anything but that, anything. Asshole, coward–” he wants to be upset with you, it is easier when you hate him. It is easier to fight.

“Bakugou.”

Closer. He knows there’s no time but he wants to be closer. You clutch the vial tight in one hand and rest the other over his bloodstained heart. He can feel your heartbeat in the curve of your jaw with his clumsy, heavy fingers. He shakes his head.

“..Katsuki,” you murmur, and he kisses you. You who are just like him.

Your back finds a wall smoothly this time when he dips low to catch your lips with his. There is no desperate grabbing, no stumbling, tripping, every push of his tongue against yours is deep and slow and starving. Your hand cups his chest in both protest and invitation, somehow you are scalding, somehow you are hungrier.

There is a thank you that chases every parting of your lips for everything he owes you. He owes you two lifetimes and a spar. More than that. He presses deeper. Blood flakes from his blond hair when your fingers rake through it and you pull just enough to make him growl.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps in correction. He holds your head in his hands like a gentle promise even as his bones break themselves to be closer.

You manage, “wait,” through the pause and when he jerks back you are no longer the nervous soldier crying in cold hallways. He is nervous, he is trembling, you are something else, something black and infinite. You lower your hand to his cheek and stare almost too close to see him clearly. The hand that kills becomes soft fingers that drift over his temple and push his shaggy hair from his eyes. You watch every part of him. Your eyes and fingers make shapes of his face as he stands above you, as he submits to your touch happily.

What else can he kiss from you? What will you offer him? Breath and tears, he wants more. Memories, exhaustion, boredom, tell him more about yourself, favorites and enemies, show him more tragedy, selfishness, joy. Take him to study dragons, not your soldiers, not your queen.

Your knuckle ghosts his burn and catches the swell of his lip and the wet there. Time be damned, blue mages, civilians, home and hell wait for you. He rumbles somewhere deep in his chest when your thumb presses just slightly harder, your breath catching, at the soft pink flesh and the tongue that darts out to wet you. Bakugou kisses the tip of your finger, again, again, you swipe saliva under your thumb and he kisses you there, again until you can’t take it anymore and lean forward to taste him. He has no such patience. Your prince takes your jaw back up between his fingers and molds his lips to yours like he might give his life to you. You knock hard against the wall and push against him with just as much force so that he must knock you back again to keep you where he needs you.

More of this, more of your greed, more of your desperation stolen in gasps, more of your body fitting perfectly into his hands. You pull at the neck of his undershirt, nails catching flesh. He’ll praise you. He’ll watch you. He only wanted to kiss you. He doesn’t know what it is to want, to be close to someone he needs to keep.

He can’t push any closer– chest to yours, legs between– you inhale sharply when he rolls too deep and he wants to apologize again but you arch your hips higher on instinct. It almost tips his head back. He thinks he says your name. You press warm and shaky against the thigh that pins you to the door while your lips keep him close, bobbing between sloppy presses and a tongue kneading wet against his. The friction of your hips stutters the yawning starving kisses. Where does he hold you? Sweat collects between his knuckles, the excitement soaks through him, you’re alive you’re alive, he grasps you under your thighs and up into his arms.

The pressure is worse here, you are a fire against the rawest parts of him. He catches your throat with his teeth in your surprise above him and lays as many kisses up your pulse as you will let him before cupping his stinging jaw back up where you want it.

He wants to dance with you. You nip where he offers himself, tongue and lip and neck, because your thrill never left you. He wants to fight, he wants to blow out all the candles and make magic for you in the dark. Bare, his shoulders beg you to find hold there, to grasp and scratch, draw blood, breathe fire, don’t let go of him. The swell of your thighs is unbearable in his palms. Your tattered dress parts for him– your damp flesh vibrates with his magic and he wants to sink so deeply inside of you– it is the only thing can could heal this ache, the one thing to make it worse. He wants to hear just one noise. Who taught you not to make a sound? Why can’t he stay quiet?

“Highness,” you breathe. He will break you of that habit, “Highness, I–”

He grunts the low sound of a question and pulls wet away from your kiss in strings of desperation. He wasn’t– he isn’t thinking. Bakugou loses half his halfgone composure when you stare into him with huge, burning eyes and bring an embarrassed palm up to your lips. His ears catch fire. Immediately he knows both of his cheeks and half of his chest are lost to flush. A chill through the air makes you shiver in his arms, back to the door, and he shudders, his own eyes widening at the crease of your brows and the sound you bite back.

“Your shoulder.” He blinks a thousand more times than necessary, “you–you’re– injury.” He almost drops you, almost falls over. Bakugou lets you to your feet– your braids catch on the wooden door above your startled bonfire eyes and it is too much the picture of you, laid out under him in half-torn clothes, overheating, breathless– inside, let me have you, hips grinding through this heat until–

“Highness,” a different voice drawls from the dark. It kills the thought and the silence of the room so suddenly both of Bakugou’s palms ignite in plumes of violet on either side of you. “Please,” Hawks groans, suffocating, into the Alderan pillows propping him up on the bed, “don’t fuck in here.”

“You’re awake!” You gasp because there’s nothing else to say.

“Not on purpose.”

Your prince cannot form a thought. He’s never had– never wanted the things he wants from you. He’s never been distracted from a fight. You begin patting yourself down, searching for a place to tuck the vial, settling the layers of your dress, pushing your hair back where you like it to lay, clearing your throat, catching your breath.

“Did I hear right?” Hawks grumbles again and the prince prepares to escape the end of the sentence, but both captains continue, “you need a Takoban scout?”

“You’re hardly fit enough for that.” Your tone is all disbelief but excitement shows through your embarrassment and he hates how readily you offer up all those sanguinary thoughts. Bakugou shakes his hair down from where you pushed it. He wipes his face with the back of a fist and sucks his teeth.

You will dive into the castle, you will cut down soldiers and dancers, and you will be killed by the mage before he can get you home all because you made a promise to a queen who is not here. He dreaded this. He should have taken Sero as his second. Kaminari would have done, why didn’t he just leave you?

“Can you walk?”

“I sure can’t fly.”

Bakugou bursts, all blush and bitten lips, “Neither of you are fit for reconnaissance and both of you will heel. We don’t have time to limp through the castle.”

You snap around, bright eyes, teeth shining, possessive and kiss swollen and wild. You turn to fight and then there is a crash. You are between your prince and the thrown open door faster than that injury should have let you.

He has half a mind to toss you over his shoulder when a blast of air so frozen it takes form, shatters through both of you in the doorway. You’re quick to bear through it and without waiting to cover Hawks’s hiding place you’re both down the dark hallway, longing, starvation, wet and warmth left behind you. The damp of the hall freezes over completely underfoot.

“Enemy?” You bark, death to stealth.

“The queen!”

The dim light of your meeting place is more pathetic than before, now that candles are dashed and sconces are punctured in awkward icy stalagmites. Mina and Kaminari are picking themselves up off the floor as their captain and prince race forward. Sero has Natsuo under the arm, “Shinsou.”

He throws his gaze over your shoulder to the wall in horror and you turn to follow it, past shining cobblestones, over clouds of breath to the Takoban guard, pinned half up the wall in a crashing wave of ice. Most of both legs and half his hip are trapped in the tide, leaving enough of his torso free to breathe easy. “She’s,” he grunts, thrashing against his restraints, “she’s escaped.”

Bakugou should hate the look on your face but he knows he looks much the same. Thrill makes you glow like he hasn’t seen in a long, long time.

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tagged angels ! @ltadoriyuujl / @cherripunch26 / @chandiewashere / @sakurarr1122 / @ihavefixations-and-onehiccup / @juni-does-art / @romiinlove / @todorokiskitten / @zukowantshishonourback / @phoenix-draws77 / @starryparkrr / @misscaller06 / @420mitskilover / @kalulakunundrum / @the-omnipotent-phlowr / @butterscotch-ripple-icecream / @cutiepatoodie / @catsoupki / @acid-rain27 / @sky-angel101 / @flyhighinthesky / @hurtfulhore

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#annotations #my fic is like halfway done pomme TRUST you will have it by this time next week

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bill-weasley · 3 years ago

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eternals: and what i thought

this is gonna be a very long review and by no means is it bad but it’s just long and i had a lot of thoughts, mostly about the outward racism of the fandom. and how extremely disappointed i am that a lot of countries want nothing to do with it because it features a gay family. lmao. ok.

alright first and foremost, 10/10. the movie in itself was perfect. i knew from the jump ikaris was gonna be shady. like you just knew. pretty white men are dangerous. and imma be so honest, i don’t see the hype over ikaris. i get it, he’s cute, but okay??? yall act like kumail and dong-seok don’t exist, but go off i guess.

i think my issues with the movie stems more from what the generalized ppl are excited over versus the movie itself. that’s not to say that the movie didn’t have it’s issues. because it did.

first and foremost let’s get the basics out of the way. the pacing was off balance. at times it felt too rushed and at times it felt too dull. i never knew when to time out my pee break in a 2 hour and 45 minute long movie. that shit was tough.

i think the cgi was -- not great? we’ve seen better in marvel films? we rly did.

the sex scene??? did i think it was necessary? absolutely not. i don’t think it added or took away from anything. everyone was hyping it up as it’s so important and shit, and tbh -- it wasn’t. if anything what i got from it was a lying manipulative man gaslighting a woman into loving him over the next few thousand years. shit was uncalled for. then again, i really didn’t like ikaris and sersi. they creeped me the fuck out. i was relieved --- so fucking relieved that he fucking flew his dusty ass into the sun. was that mean? idc

i will never stan or fangirl over a man who not only kills a family member, but tries to kill the rest of them too. i don’t give a shit what his intentions were. do not @ me about ikaris. i don’t fucking care.

sersi was so calm, level-headed, beautiful, perfect and damn right she needed to be with kit harrington. a+. pls stay with a man who treats u right. idk what’s gonna happen w/ him in the future, but rn, he’s good.

alright now we’re gonna get to the part that made me rly upset. maybe im being irrational and shit, idk. but the asian rep was not what i wanted. i know initially i was super hype about a bollywood scene and stuff like that --- but..... it was a whole bag of stereotypes. like....... yall??? kingo and karun were used as comedic relief???? why did they force kumail to get so buff for him to do nothing??? not even be a part of the last fight?? turn on his family?? yall??? was this the rep we wanted??

do you guys understand what it means to me to have a brown man be a part of marvel for him to be sidelined as comedic relief. and i know a lot of you white ppl are gonna tell me to stay in my lane and be appreciative of what i got, and im here to tell u -- no. im not. it felt like they were using head-nodding, the we-worship-you attitude (esp with karun -- and i get it, they’re gods but c’mon it was so intense. we already have a really fucked up history with this, lets not add to this stereotype)

idk i was kinda really annoyed with this.

now let’s move to the love of my life, my moon, my sun, gilgamesh. he was the mpv. i don’t give a shit what anyone has to say. he was the mpv. he was the sexiest, the baddest bitch, the strongest bitch. a+ i just love him more than anything.

what i don’t get is how the fandom gave no shits about him? and they’re weeping and pissing themselves over ikaris??? lmao not only that, because he’s asian and he’s thick -- he’s not considered good enough to be a potential love interest to angelina jolie.

yalll weak as hell and it’s showing.

lmao. like i said--- my issues with eternals wasn’t about the movie itself. it was a great movie, had a few flaws, but overall great. what i don’t like is our racist ass fandom. anyway, that’s my two cents.

#eternals #movie review #tana speaks #tw racism

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zukkacore · 4 years ago

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Whitewashing in AtlaLok: the Western & Christian Influence on s2 of LoK

Ok, so i’m not a big brained expert on all things indigenous or even all things asian but I do think bryke's christian & western worldview seeps so far into season 2 of LoK that i think out of every season it’s by far the most unsalvageable out of everything they’ve ever done in the Atlaverse and is a very insidious kind of whitewashing. I know that sounds hefty but here’s what I mean

For the record, I’m a mixed filipino person & while there is religious diversity among filipinos, more than i think ppl realize or that the catholic majority is willing to let on, when we were colonized a large percent of the population was indeed forced to convert to catholicism so that’s my background, & i don’t know everything about taoism or the what the tai chi symbol represents but the way Bryke westernize the concept of Yin and Yang is honestly… kinda bewildering. They get so many details about yin & yang wrong?? & Yes, it’s possible they could’ve been trying to create their own lore that differentiates itself from the traditional depictions of Yin & Yang, but in the end i think it doesn’t matter b/c the lore they invent is a very obviously western interpretation of the concept of “balance”.

The most important and honestly worst change they make is that concepts of “light” and “dark” are completely oversimplified and flattened to represent basically “good” and “evil” (which, the light and dark side are a bit more complex than representing just “peace/order vs. Chaos” like the show might imply but we don’t even have time for that, but is funny how they get the genders wrong. Like. Traditionally, light is usually coded masculine and dark is usually coded feminine, but never mind that, that’s just a tangent). This really simplifies the nuance of the s2 conflict and makes it a lot less interesting, not to mention just—misrepresents a very real religious philosophy?

And for the record, a piece of media going out of its way to do "the show, don’t tell" thing of stating in the text that “oh, light and dark are not the same thing as good vs. evil” without actually displaying that difference through the writing is just lip service, and its poor writing. A lot of pieces of media do this, but i think s2 of LoK is particularly egregious. The point of this philosophy of balance is that you aren’t supposed to moralize about which side is “good” or “bad”, or even really which one is “better” or “worse”. Even if the show states the concepts are not interchangeable, if the media in question continually frames one side (and almost always its “chaos/darkness”) as the “evil” side, then the supposed distinction between “light vs. dark” and “good vs. evil” is made moot. And besides the occasional offhand remark that implies more nuance without actually delivering, Vaatu is basically stock evil incarnate.

This depiction of conflict as “defeating a singular representation of total evil” isn’t solely christian, but it is definitely present in christian beliefs. And I think those kinds of stories can be done well, but in this case, in a world filled entirely of asian, Pacific Islander & inuit poc, to me it feels like a form of subtle whitewashing? B/c you’re taking characters that probably wouldn’t have christian beliefs, and imposing a christian worldview onto them. Not to mention removes what could have been an interesting conflict of any nuance and intrigue… and honestly, sucks, because I do think s2 has the bones of an interesting idea, mostly b/c there are potential themes that could’ve been explored—I know this b/c they were already explored in a movie that exists, and it’s name is Princess Mononoke! It has a lot of the same elements—tension between spirits and humanity, destruction of nature in the face of rapid industrialization, moral ambiguity where there are no easy or fast answers and both sides have sympathetic and understandable points of view. (Unsurprising b/c Miyazaki is Japanese & Japanese culture has a lot of influence from Buddhism, Taoism, Shintoism, etc)

Bryke’s western & christian worldview also totally seeps into the characterization of Unalaq, the antagonist of the season which is a real problem. I’m in the middle of rewatching s2 right now and what struck me is that….. Unalaq comes across kinda ecofash AND fundamentalist which is 1) seems like an odd combination but maybe it really isn’t? 2) i think is a really tacky choice considering that the water tribes take the majority of its inspiration from inuit and polynesian indigenous cultures.

I honestly forgot abt this but Unalaq gives this whole lame speech abt how the SWT & humans as a whole suck b/c of their lack of spiritual connection & it was really eerie to me b/c "humans are morally bankrupt and they must be wiped out/punished for their destruction of the environment" is total ecofash logic bc it blames all of humanity for damage caused by those in power—be they capitalists or whoever. It’s a worldview that blames the poor and powerless for something they have no say in, and has real eugenics undertones bc with every implication of culling, there has to be someone who appoints themself the job of culling—of who is and isn’t worthy of death.

This belief also struck me as......... kinda christian in it's logic as well which is WEIRD b/c once again........ their cultural inspirations are DEFINITELY not christian...... The whole "man is inherently evil and must spend their whole lifetime repenting/must face punishment for it’s wickedness" thing and the way that christianity treats humanity as born with original sin or inherently corrupt—as well as above or separate from nature are really stronger undertones in Unalaqs worldview....... which isn't really an indigenous way or thinking.

I'm generalizing of course but from what I have seen from the indigenous people who speak on this is that (feel free to point out or correct me if i’m mostly generalizing abt Native Americans and not other indigenous cultures & there are some differences here) is that while native tribes are not monolithic and do vary wildly, there are a lot of common threads and that reverence and respect toward nature and your surroundings is an important tenant of indigenous beliefs. (I specifically remember the hosts on All My Relations saying essentially that we humans are a part of nature, we are not separate from it, and humans are not superior to animals—I’m paraphrasing but that is the gist of it)

So, yeah, I think it’s just really distasteful to write an indigenous character who is characterized in a way that’s way more in line with a christian fundamentalist & wants to bring about a ragnarok style apocalypse end of the world when that isn’t really a tenant of our beliefs? (btw, the way the end of the world is framed is also kinda fucked up? If i were being charitable, I could say that maybe s2’s storyline is a corruption of the hindu depiction of the end of the world, but even that sounds mildly insulting for reasons I won’t get into b/c i am Not The Expert On Hinduism. I will say that once again, the framing of the concept is all wrong, the show views the idea of apocalypse through a very western lense)

To wrap this up, I think the depiction of Unalaq could *maybe* work b/c he is the antagonist, so someone who strays from the NWT cultural tradition in a way that makes his view of morality more black and white wouldn’t be a *horrible* idea for the bad guy of the season. Especially because the introduction of capitalism to the A:TLA universe could probably cause a substantial shifts to… idk, everything i guess, b/c capitalism is so corrosive. Like. Sometimes people are just traitors. I do think it would be interesting to portray the way capitalism manifests in a society without white christians. Like… I do think there are a lot of ways secular christianity and capitalism are interlinked. But Unalaq is not portrayed as an outsider, he’s portrayed as hyper-traditionalist in a way that’s vilified? I guess rightly so, he does suck, but it’s just hard to conceptualize how a person like Unalaq comes to exist in the first place. In the end, I don’t really think it makes sense, in a world without white people, I don’t really know where this introduction of black and white christian morality would even come from in the avatar world?

TL;DR, Bryke applying western christian morality & world views to non-white characters in a world where white people have NEVER existed to affect our beliefs is a subtle form of white-washing. It imposes simplified “good vs. evil” world-views & cultural beliefs onto its characters. Any attempt to represent or even just integrate our actual beliefs into the A:tla lore are twisted and misrepresented is a way that is disrespectful and saps out any nuance or intrigue from the story, and alienates the people its supposed to represent from recognizing themselves within the final product. And Finally, on a more superficial story level, these writing choices clashe with the already existing world of ATLA--and is honestly just poor world-building.

#shut up Janelle #lok #Atla #lok crit #legend of korra

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mariaiscrafting · 4 years ago

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okay but your post on dream making mexican jokes to quackity has awaken smth in me. quackity puts up with so many microaggressions from the community, and his friends too sometimes. and quackity takes it as jokes and lighthearted, but idk....wilbur + fans making fun of his english pronounciation? dream's 'drugs and tacos' joke? imitating quackity and putting on a thick mexican accent that he doesn't even have?? like... i swear he put the mexican dream but to rest bc of how much yt ppl were doing

I am so exhausted from running myself in circles thinking about this issue and this ask, so I’m gonna stop aiming for creating a perfect response and simply respond freely, uglily, and messily, as I would naturally.

When I criticize CCs or mcyt stans for being problematic, I’m always selfish. I almost never do it to defend those CCs, except for very, very few times, which usually have to do with the CCs being minors and me being protective of minors. Otherwise, when I criticize CCs or mcyt stans for being problematic, it comes from a deep place of hurt within me. When I first started that discourse on the fetishization and pathologization of DNF, it wasn’t for DNF’s sake; it was because it fucking hurt, as a queer person, to see. When I got pissed off about the Fundy jokes, it could give two shits about Fundy himself; it was because it fucking hurt to hear, as a woman. When I went off about Niki’s writing getting ignored, it wasn’t to defend Niki, because she doesn’t need my random defense; it was because of me, it was to address the hurt I felt.

With all that being said, when I criticize CCs for their treatment of Quackity’s being Mexican or speaking Spanish, it isn’t because I truly care about Quackity. It might sound cold, but I like to distance myself from CCs because I know they are just entertainers and that they will never be my friends or anything. As much as I gush about CCs and care about them and am in awe of their talent and energy and creations, I don’t endeavor to protect them as I would a friend or my sisters. When I speak about the anti-Latinx racism I’ve witnessed that’s been targeted at Quackity, I speak from my own hurt, my own anger and frustration.

Microaggressions are naturally going to be a part of being a minority in a community or career field, of course. I didn’t really expect everyone to be normal about a Mexican creator among mostly white, American or European men. I didn’t expect them to never make offhand remarks or exhibit weird patterns of treatment that can be summarized to be microaggressions. That doesn’t make me any less disappointed or frustrated by the times they do.

For me, what’s really important is context and a basis of either ignorance or hatred, for something to be deemed a truly racist microaggression. The reason I didn’t rant about Wilbur in that post was because Wilbur literally does that with everyone; he makes fun of the ways Niki says words, Phil, Fundy, even Tommy. Him making fun of the way Quackity says some words is insensitive of Spanish being Quackity’s first language, yes, but was it really, like, a microaggression formed from ignorance or hatred? Debatable, but in my opinion, not really.

Now then. Dream. Let me first say that I am biased; I already don’t like Dream, so that might unfairly cloud my judgement of Dream’s actions. But the main video that pissed me off a couple months ago was a stream where Quackity has this bit where he’s “running from the cops” because of drug dealing, and Dream is chasing him, George, and Sapnap. I’ve seen people in the comments section and on Twitter subsequently excuse Dream for buying into the stereotypes Quackity sets up - making remarks about smelling like drugs and tacos, for example - with the fact that Quackity was the one who started the bit in the first place. This just... is not okay. I don’t know how else to say it. I’ve talked about how black comedy functions, about why it’s usually more fitting and less offensive for people of a certain identity to make jokes about their own experiences, here. But to expand on that, I’d like to say that the reason Quackity making jokes about Mexicans smoking weed and drug dealing and being from the barrio and eating tacos isn’t offensive goes beyond Quackity simply being Mexican himself; it’s because he is essentially subverting those stereotypes by portraying them in a ridiculous, satirical manner himself. I don’t know if this makes sense to anyone but me, lol, but basically: if you take a stereotype that would typically be used by white people, and you portray in a clearly comedic manner, you make it seem ridiculous. In that way, you aren’t really making a dig at Mexicans themselves; the people you’re ridiculing, offending, etc., are the people who believe and create those stereotypes. You’re turning the stereotype on its head, using it as a tool to make racists look stupid. The thing is, if you yourself are Mexican, there is little room for questioning whether or not that’s what you’re trying to do because you are Mexican; you’re probably not trying to make Mexicans seem dumb or criminal or gross because you are Mexican, why the fuck would you put down your own identity? But when a white man then takes that joke - what was supposed to be a satirical bit - and feeds into it, playing the part of a police officer deriding that criminal, drug-smoking, taco-eating Mexican for all those things... the butt of the joke is now the Mexican. It is no longer the white man, but the oppressed group. And that. Is. Fucking. Racist.

Whatever, anyways, I’ve gotten myself way too riled up. There are other instances of MCYTs doing sketchy, racist shit in relation to Quackity, and there are other times Dream has done that kinda shit, but I just don’t have the energy or will to go into every single instance at this time. The thing I ranted about in my original post about this was about a totally different instance, where Dream asked if Quackity was “casting a spell on him” when he started cursing him out in Spanish, which reminded me so much of my own experiences with speaking Spanish around non-Spanish speakers - basically my many East Asian friends in high school. I could unpack the colonial, Westernized, Christian views that influence these kinds of jokes, or I could unpack the treatment of Spanish speakers as Other and Odd, Spanish words constantly warped out of their original meaning, in white America...... orrrrr I could do literally anything else.

So I’m gonna go do literally anything else.

#asks #racism #dream critical #/neg #discourse #dreamwastaken #dream #mcyt #quackity #whatever just a reminder to blacklist my discourse or neg tags if you dont want to see these kinda things from me #Anonymous

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 4 years ago

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What type of kids do you think the ikevamp guys would be if they went to high school?

Oh boy HERE WE GO

(Under a cut bc this post is a Long Boi^TM)

Napoleon. Would prbly be that kid that’s like somehow bafflingly in the top ten of his class but nobody ever sees him??? Like he’s always late to school or napping in the quietest places on campus (they found him in a locker once and the school was laughing about it for WEEKS bc he insisted he was just chillin, and it wasn’t like a bullying incident he just wanted to sleep LMAO). Surprisingly amiable? A lot of people are afraid of him at first but he’s just so casual and direct, he gains quite a few friends (and a good number of girls have a crush on him--he always diverts the attention of skeevy guys). Good friends with Jeanne because they fence together a lot, and people are always baffled at how easily they chat

Mozart. Where do I begin. Number one in his class, perfectionist prick. That one kid that’s a known prodigy and that everyone hates for his impeccable grades and musical talent. Always gets the solos and conducting roles in the school performances. He knows how to play a crowd--will always be sweet and cherubic in front of teachers. But when it’s just the students? All gloves are off. Frigid and incendiary, will not take any shit and will tear you apart with words in milliseconds. Do not cross. He will end your entire life and self-esteem, it’s not worth it. Has a few friends, and they often experience the disdain of jealous students--but they’re all steadfast about defending him. And Mozart will not tolerate it if people are mistreating his friends, he’s an iron wall of defense; to be his friend means to always have someone looking out for you, make no mistake. He and Jeanne often grab food together after practice and ask about each others day, they hella close but never really show it while school’s on--their class schedules are worlds apart bc of their grades, and at lunch they’re usually practicing/doing hw. When they hug it out at graduation and pat each other on the back everyone nearly falls the fuck out of their chair LMFAO

Leonardo. That kid that 100% could probably be in the top fifty of his class but just can’t be bothered to give a damn. Always argues points with his teachers and plays devil’s advocate until they are inches from exploding at him. Always the one to mercifully make class feel shorter with his absolute distraction-heavy shitfuckery (and sometimes you really learn something because of his line of thinking). He's a dumbass but like harmless, essentially. Used to be the perfect student^TM and then decided the system was bullshit and he wanted no part of it, thinks public education can kiss his ass. Nobody knows it since he asks people not to talk about it, but he tutors kids after school for hours--has brought kids from Ds to Bs. He always dodges nosy people, never goes to parties, and finds ways to intervene around kids that are struggling with smth (with ninja stealth of course). Despite how easily he laughs and chats with just about anyone, he’s...actually surprisingly v much a lone wolf. Only ever consistently hangs out with the heartthrob rich kid, but nobody understands why???? And they’re always roasting each other wtf, are they even friends????

Comte. Pretty boy genius, always in the top five of his class though doesn’t seem too worried about it or obsessed with rank as students often are. It’s more that his parents have high expectations for his future as their heir, so he tends to fall in line with it. Born into money but somehow....not an asshole??? He doesn’t really like showing off, tries to be quiet about his accomplishments but his parents won’t really allow it--and he’s the star of the soccer team so it can be hard to hide. Most often the one at a party trying to help people sober up (always designated driver) or hearing his friends out when they have a problem. Has never publicly tried to bust heads, but some of the guys in the school insist he’s got a dark side--probably because he threatened them (passive aggressively) within an inch of their lives for being disgusting to girls. But nobody believes them bc...I mean look at him, does that look like a threat?? He just bought that kid’s lunch for christ’s sake. TONS of girls ask him out and confess their feelings, and he always lets them down as gently as he can--conceivably doesn’t like anyone himself, as far as the student body knows. Like Leonardo he’s v amiable, but also manages to reveal nothing personal while getting close. Leonardo’s the only one that’s managed to scratch the surface, and the kid won’t leave him alone for some godforsaken reason. And yet, he seems to enjoy their minutes of banter more than the hours of time spent with “friends”

Arthur. Oh boy. Good lord. Well. He used to be a sweetheart that would always seek out the mousier students and bring them into discussion/involve them on the playground. But alas, Teenage Jadedness^TM hit him like a train and now he’s an incorrigible flirt and believes no single person can be good deep down (somebody get this bitch some eyeliner). Believes the world will always be a cruel and unfeeling place where victims are never heard, so he just kind of goes full skeptical and bitter (think Sylvain for those of you that are FE fans). Has fun with every girl he sees (usually dating several girls at once) and doesn’t much care for his grades, but somehow has perfect scores in English?? He insists it’s because he needs to keep his seduction game on par with the voices of older legends before him, but some of the girls that see him in the library from time to time--v serious--are struck by how attractive he is in such deep focus, entirely uncharacteristic of his nosy and boisterous behavior in the halls (can often be seen whirling around Isaac like a bird of prey while our little baby robin Isaac stiffly tries to get away from him, and Dazai often joins to make things even more chaotic bc why not? In reality they just love this feisty kid that never gives up on what’s right, even though they’ve both given up trying themselves)

Dazai. He’s one of those kids that like does weed regularly but is also like...alarmingly insightful?? Like those kids I was always told to avoid, but now and again I would have conversations with out of necessity and was just...kinda shook. I mean granted he’s a little weird but he’s fairly harmless?? He’s like a class clown but on a massive scale--there’s nobody in the place that doesn’t know who he is, that haven’t heard tales of his exploits (he always comes in through the windows and gets detention for it a lot, and he even brought a chicken with him to school once????) nobody gets what he’s doing at any moment (don’t even know if he does really, chaotic mofo) and honestly nobody wants to know they just do the side eye meme when he appears or laughs. The teachers lament his untapped potential or just hate him for making their lives an even bigger headache than usual, and his grades are...yeah let’s not look at those. Organized the senior prank with absolute GLEE, and it was talked about for ages after he was gone--an inspiration chaotic bastards everywhere

Theodorus. (I hate.......that I pictured him in those like Vineyard Vine white boy clothes.......for the record its mostly bc his parents force him to wear them). All business. This kid doesn’t have time for your bullshit, will absolutely walk away if you’re boring him or seeking social clout. Popular because he’s hot and has a mean streak a mile wide, all the girls that didn’t like Mozart for being ethereal and effeminate boomeranged to find Theo ready to fulfill their hopes and dreams. They only grow more feral when rumors of him actually being fairly nice one on one--and telling creeps to fuck off of vulnerable girls at parties--start to circulate. (If he isn’t with Vincent, Arthur is probably near. Nobody understands how the two are brothers????) Van Gogh name apparently is just “I can be your angel or i can be your devil” and no one understands how... Grades are average and he’s plenty capable, most of his time is spent working after school because his parents refuse to provide Vincent with any artistic materials (canvas, paints, etc). They ask him to go to parties more, but he only goes to piss his parents off (he’s v lowkey punk and it’s understandably sexy of him). Will literally only listen to Vincent, and got in a looooot of trouble after getting into a fistfight with Shakespeare. Only stopped because his parents blamed Vincent for the incident, and Vincent apologized and went quiet for days ;-;

Vincent. Always been quiet and shy, but he doesn’t dislike ppl--he just has a hard time speaking up now and again. His parents always talk over him and tell him nothing he has to say has any real value, so he tends to struggle with a lot of self-doubt. Not isolated because he’s not likeable, it’s more because people tend to take advantage of his mild and earnest nature--until Theo runs them off. He’s on amiable terms with most people but has no real, true friends and it makes him feel lonely a lot. Mostly copes with the emotional turmoil by painting as much as he can. His grades are average, he does reliably well but can often be found daydreaming or distracted. Theo tends to escort him everywhere because of his propensity to attract danger (namely Shakespeare) or walk into things cuz he’s in his head a lot. A few of the artsier girls and the quiet academic girls have HUGE crushes on him (he’s softspoken, sweet, and calm; come on now), but he’s so distant--and honestly nice to everyone in equal measure--that they don’t have much hope of it coming to fruition. This kid deadass doesn’t think a single girl would ever like him that way so he’s just c:???????? when Theo talks about “those nosy harpies coming after my brother”

Jeanne. EDGY MCEDGE. Isn’t amazing in the academic department, but he’s a killer fencer--the rallying cry of the entire team. He became leader his sophomore year and he’s pretty much the only reason they keep destroying at tournaments throughout the year. Despite the pervasive interest in him he intimidates most people away with his swift intensity and ironclad stoicism. Silent as a grave and very still, people are convinced he’s the Grim Reaper reincarnated (listen he’s juST A DUTIFUL BABIE N O). If he isn’t fencing or practicing, Isaac often offers him help in the library after school hours in one of the study rooms (can’t be seen who’s inside from the outside). The two develop a kind of uncanny bond; they’re both so...bad at human-ing that they find a lot of comfort in the atmosphere they create. There’s none of the bullshit grandstanding or clout obsession, just them genuinely trying to help each other (yes Jeanne absolutely teaches Isaac self-defense moves in order to crush the kids that pick on him, and Jeanne often either glares or outright threatens those students when Isaac isn’t looking). Only ever smiles or feels understood when he’s hanging out with Mozart, so he cherishes the time Mozart offers him to hang (he knows the kid is busy up to his eyeballs and under a ton of pressure by comparison, his parents don’t care much as long as they can brag about his fencing records)

Isaac. Mega nerd that just...does not know how to interact. Only understands math and DESTROYS in competitive math club, but otherwise is always alone at lunch or just in the library. A little bean pole because he doesn’t look after himself very well (neglects to eat a lot) and can sometimes be found asleep on his books. If approached he will be very thorny, doesn’t have any friends to speak of and trusts everyone about as far as he can throw them. Yells at Arthur and Dazai a lot when they flock around him, and has gotten into his fair share of fights. Never starts fights, but will finish them. People are surprised he can hold his own, and he comes away with blood that ain’t his. There are a few girls that are curious about him, but its mostly the ones that have seen his awkward thoughtfulness in club--or the girls that are sick of the assholes and appreciate how stalwart he is. He really just wants to be left in peace (his parents never show up to his meets or when he wins academic awards, and the few teachers that notice are pretty concerned abt his reactivity and complete lack of social savvy...) Leonardo always helps him sneak in at night to look at the stars on the school roof

Shakespeare is p much the like “kid most anticipated to be in jail as soon as they’re out of high school” He just. Has that like...serial killer vibe??? Idk if I’m explaining this well but he was that guy that would always cling to genuinely compassionate girls just trying to be nice like a LEECH, and would never fucking shut up if he did or didn’t get attention. You just can't win with this kid. Probably wanted to kill the kids that made fun of him or at the very least wanted to lash out against the confident/popular/nice kids. Only liked you if he didn’t deem you a threat, or if you didn’t make him insecure, or if you tolerated him (aka Vincent. Vincent PLEASE stop trying to reach out to dangerous ppl....I love you too much to watch this shit...) He admitted as much to Theo and the kid went livid with rage and pummeled him into the ground, though most of the rest of the student body doesn’t know quite what happened. (Theo refuses to explain to anyone, and just walks away if asked). Shakespeare will just change the subject endlessly and make passive aggressive threats until the person leaves if they try to bring it up. The only time the entire class has EVER seen Leonardo mad is when Shakespeare kept tailing this girl that wanted no part of him

Sebastian. Nerdy like Isaac, but is more of the silent observer type. Like Theo, doesn't want any part of the bullshit but won't be as blunt or outspoken about it, he's only open about it if pressed or pissed off. Doesn't have much patience for the clique-driven nature of high school and tends to take an interest in the people who stand out beyond the mind-numbing drama. Also is in the top fifty but studies like a lunatic, and can often be seen asking Comte for tips now and again. Has tried talking to Mozart and admires his talents, but Mozart gives a cold shoulder that would put Antarctica to shame. (Leonardo tries to ninja him into taking breaks but never succeeds). Has a great deal of disdain for the troublemakers (Arthur and Dazai) but doesn't intervene, just watches shit go down and sighs. Probably the most normal(?) one of the bunch, just does his best and keeps his head down

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zhuhongs · 4 years ago

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When I was growing up I didnt understand why people shared food with others. I shared food with my mom and such, but that was it. I thought that sharing food was something people only did with those super close to them. I never once just considered sharing food with others like many families do.

I grew up as one of the only poor colored kids in a well off white neighborhood. My mom always had this weird complex. That she and the rest of our family "weren't like other Hispanic people" because we "didn't take handouts" and "didn't live like that" whatever that was supposed to mean. I hate her internalized racism sm... it fucked me up so bad but i’m mostly over it and she is too thank god but that's a whole other issue for another text post) Thus she always ingrained it in me that I don't take food that other ppl are offering me. If a white person tries to give me food, they're probably just pitying me for being the poor girl. And if a poc gives me food, they need it more than I do, I should take it but pay them back later for it. To save face and not cause burden. I never thought twice abt it and it was rarely an issue. Most of my friends were white and their parents always thought it was kind that i offered to pay for my food but never let me. And my friends of color... well i didnt have many. I didnt have many friends growing up that I rlly remember. I was always just weird and quiet. I occasionally brought food on birthdays and got food for others on their birthday. But outside of special occasion I didnt go out of my way to give people food. If I didnt like something I'd give it to someone who did. And if someone was gonna throw something away, I ate it. I never let food go to waste. When I went out with people, I bought my food and they bought theres and we just ate. Nothing else. I never thought anything of it.

I remember a very distinct moment where I started to feel differently. I was in my second semester of university and my dance team was preparing for a performance over spring break. We had been practicing from 9am to 3pm and then decided to go to the mall to get food and just hang out for a bit. My university friend group is like.. notoriously bad at making decisions so I usually make the decisions for them bc theyre all so passive alkfjaslkfjd (THEY ALL HAVE OLDEST IMMIGRANT DAUGHTER OF COLOR SYNDROME like me too omg ik ur a ppl pleser but PICK SMTH, ily them... i’ll stop now) . SO we were deciding where to get food and settled on the food court and we all get what we want. So we did all that and sat a big table together and I just remember everyone putting the food in the middle and getting extra plates so we could take from each we wanted and have a little bit of everything. And at first i was like?? HUH!?? like I got what i wanted bc thats what I wanted and then planned to take my leftovers home to eat at work later that night. And that ended up working out, they could kinda tell that was my intention but ever since then I noticed that that friend group always does that. We all buy different things and share. I really used to find it dumb at first bc its my money and i paid for what i wanted. I didn’t want to take others food and I didn’t rlly want to give them mine. I thought that mentality was universal. I was always kinda on the outside with that group, we never fully meshed but I really wanted to make the effort to be friends with them because I knew it would be rewarding, even if we were just casual friends. And yea idk, just through them I began to kinda unlearn the way I used to feel about sharing food. It’s not about the money, it’s about the connection to others and about giving freely and letting others give to u. But money was always tight as a id. As I’ve started working and making money, thankfully i’ve abandoned this knee jerk reaction.

I read a chapter of a book for highschool english once called “Sharing Food as an Act of Communion” or smth along those lines and I got the concept but didn’t rlly think it was that deep. But in that moment, i started to understand it a lot more. Sharing food and sharing things in general isn’t about the object itself, its about what got u to that point to share something with someone. Due in part to way i was raised as I elaborated on earlier, I really wasn’t a loving or giving person. I was selfish. I was taught to be selfish. Because my parents had that mentality and passed it onto their kids. That was the cutthroat immigrant way of theirs. They were very much “pull yourself up by your bootstraps ppl.” My brother is still like that a bit. It’s very sad sometimes, I’m trying to get him out of it. Baby steps. My mom doesn’t understand why he’s so selfish. One of these days I think i’m going to sit her down and tell her that it’s her own doing. That how she raised us. But I know she doesn’t want to hear it, so for her sake and mine I just agree with her and let the issue pass without incident. I truly believe that kindness and community are the most radical things that humans have. I rlly do. It took me a long time to get there. I used to be so convinced I was better of alone. One man for themselves. I blame my father, i really do.

One time when things were really going to shit with my family, my dad came in my room and asked me how I could be so cruel to him when he was my father, completely unaware of the fact that I had been abused by him my entire life. He just didn’t register it that way bc it wasn’t physical. He said to me “You know Sage, I would expect this from your brother. But you’re a girl . I thought you’d be nicer, more loving and giving.” but it was his own actions that shaped this. And it wasn’t until I had stopped living with him at 18 that I was able to become more like how I am now.

Really, in the past I wasn’t a very nice or loving person. I wasn’t mean either!! I was just passive. A cold lake near a forest. I was nice looking on any surface level, but there was nothing warm or pleasant. A cold lake with jagged rocks underneath. With the help of others i’ve warmed, the rocks eroded down to something you would keep in a collection. I prefer it this way. I’ve healed a bit. I understand now what ppl mean when they say food is a love language. It isn’t one for me yet, but I recognize why it is for others. I get it now.

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sootonthecarpet · 4 years ago

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What faction do you usually pick in Fallout 4? It kind of sounds like you have beef with the Minutemen but the Brotherhood are bigoted trash, the Institute are bigoted trash who can't even accomplish anything productive, and the Railroad are super fixated on their ethically dubious synth liberation quest and do pretty much jack all for everyone else, so I'm curious as to which one you went along with in the end.

i havent played it thru to the end yet full disclosure kkfdksgf the main questline has been underwhelming so far, so i’ve been dragging my feet even tho i have like multiple playthroughs going. but i’m siding w the railroad because while there r heavy criticisms to b levied w/r/t their methodology, it still feels good to do literally anything to impact any of the game’s like, stilted in-universe bigotry subplots to even a small extent hahajfdsgf. plus i like most of the individual npcs, i end up more annoyed at my own lack of flexible dialogue options than i do at the characters themselves. (it’d be chill if the game had more RPG elements and i could like, influence the politics and idk ‘destiny’ of the group more overtly instead of just being Assigned Grunt.) some of their sidequests are actually pretty fun, or at least are no more bothersome than unguided exploration would be and give me a bit of character development to tide me over.

i guess i do kinda have beef with the minutemen but for the most part that’s my beef with the actual writers showing thru bc of how the game’s like. colonialist fantasy gameplay loop and its unironic fetish for revolutionary war imagery intersect hEAVily when it comes to the minutemen (obvs). in all honesty i’ve never wanted to dip too far into that questline or even take preston along much even tho he seems chill and i like him so far, bc i know the writing (or, best case scenario, the way the gameplay will inevitably actively subvert any good writing that sneaks in there) is just gonna end up seriously pissing me off.

there’s no like, group in fallout four that suits my political views bc even the vaguest whiff of real-world radical politics were very carefully kept out of the vaguely liberation-aligned groups in the game. like, goodneighbor is kind of implied to be SOME kind of socialist outpost right? shared resources, anyone is welcome etc. but wait! it’s a new reno esque hedonistic crimefest where you can get anything for the right price and the only language they speak are bullets! but wait! they have a mayor who they love and respect very much. or is he a de facto monarch? or is he just a mayor? (actually, he’s my lover.) i don’t think it’s like, especially new or inventive of me to say this, but any theme that made it into the game was thoroughly stripped of meaning and made broadly palatable to like. the right-center, reactionary white gamer demographic. like, uhhhh, this was def a high budget game for a post-gamergate market. so honestly i take what i can get with the railroad. any moment im not cringing is a moment of good gameplay. (usually those moments are like, jumping into a lake in far harbor to get a better look at the non-interactible fish models for ecosystem lore, but again, i take what i can get.)

would have really liked a plot where the pre-game massacre of most of the railroad’s outposts allows the PC to like, optionally restructure it into an organization that’s actually involved with the ppl it’s set up to help (and nix the policy on mindwipes as a shortcut around trauma recovery/safeguarding of the vulnerable, and the--HOLy SHIT--disgusting attitude towards bodily autonomy in general, both of which seem to be there more for player convenience than for a well thought out story purpose), or even like. to see just a LiTTLe followup on some of the shit deacon says abt philosophical infighting early on out back of the slocums joe? but it doesn’t seem like we r going there and like, eh. i can keep my head down and grind out a few boring quests if it means avoiding the risk of total disillusionment with preston garvey and not having to listen to brotherhood anti-ghoulfucking PSAs or whatever godforsaken shit happens when i finally close out the act and let the institute beam me up ahaha.

oh yeah also like every guy who works for the railroad is weird-hot in one way or another (and also they sell me armored, combat-ready versions of casual clothing items so i can look great and feel safe, & make sure anyone whose inventory i can access has some armor on em without heavily impacting their look) and ultimately im shallow enough to let that tip the scales. plus its so nice to come back to the cave at like four AM after a long string of sidequests n see these totally random npcs who dont even like each other, all spooned up on all them mattresses. at the end of the day they deal w each other bc it’s cold and nasty. that’s a way more compelling vibe than i get from any of the actual faction related cutscenes in the game.

then i ruin it immediately by waking up tinker tom to buy more bulletproof dresses.

#anon #video games #fallout #thanks for this bud im like starting a manic episode #so when i got this i was like. ah. i can take off the gloves #hope it wasnt a disappointment to learn i have no real take on the end of the game ahaha #long post #fallout 4

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thegaysarequaking · 6 years ago

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The Society

*SPOILERS*

Okay, so the following is my take on the new Netflix show ‘The Society’.

I liked the society a lot, set in a dystopian world in which all of the parents and younger children disappear it shows promise for following seasons. Such as finding ways to develop, for lack of a better word, a society. Also, dealing with limited food, no escape, and confounding variables of being alive in a world they know nothing about.

When it comes to originality of the show it lacked it quite a bit, the storyline of this story is one that has been used quite a bit. I know there is a difference than basing it off of something and having it be similar to something.

The Sparticle Project - A story about a bunch of teenagers in Great Britain who from one moment to the next lose all of their parents and everyone above the age of, i think 19. The whole story was that their parents were moved into an alternate dimension in which the kids needed to find their way back to. When i started watching ‘The Society’ i thought of this show immediately, the only thing that i find different between the two is that ‘The Society’ is way more formulated and has direct ties to nowadays, rather than ‘The Particle Mystery’ In which, in my opinion was kinda dumb because they were just running around Britain searching for something that they didn't even knew existed.

Gone (Book Series) - In a dystopian society, the kids of the world are put against one side of an impenetrable energy barrier and the parents on the other side. These kids need to learn to survive amongst themselves while dealing with supernatural abilities that they have. Now i know this one is far-fetched when it comes to the supernatural abilities but the part that I'm paying attention to is the sequestering of the children from their parents.

These 2 instances really hit me when i was doing my research on the show because, well... have nothing better to do with my life than fall down plot holes and internet spirals about a tv show. Hehe *Laughs and Cries at the same time*

Characters

Cassandra

Fearless leader and got more crap than she deserved, she was just trying to make the best out of a bad situation. I didn't like her relationship with Gordie though, she knew all he wanted was her, and she played him like a fiddle. A pretty toxic relationship.

Allie

Power Hungry. But what can you do when over 130 teenagers have no leader and your sister was killed by one of them. I get where she is coming from, but many of her decisions could have been avoided if she had the council election when she came into power.

Will

Utterly Hated him. Honest to god one of the worst characters out there. I think that the way that he played both Allie and Kelly was ass. At the beginning he was all like “I can't do this Allie” then he was like “Allie lets do this” Then “IDK Allie, and he fucked Kelly” Then it was “Allie are you ok? Lets be together.” Listen bitch make up your fucking mind.

The Guard (Luke, Clark, and Jason)

I get why by the end of the season they were unhappy, SO i don't blame them for wanting power. Who i do blame is Luke for going along with it. He could have told Helena about it and got her #GirlPower squad to get her guns and take back control. But no. The high school jocks really did... That.

Harry, Lexie and Campbell

Terrible People all around. Harry kept getting depressed because he didn't have anyone to do his work for him cause sis was rich. AWW that fucking white privilege. Harry and his intentions for the town were complete garbage and he really does not deserve to live but the need for an antagonist is palpable. Lexie on the there hand had good intentions but turned awry, she really sucks. For no good reason. She really doesn’t know how to be a leader as shown by the finale when she shows compassion for Allie. Campbell, a legit psychopath, i hope will die in season 2. The whole, antifreeze in the pie, really shows how close to death he is. I think that Allie is going to kill him to regain power season 2. Season 2, these ppl boutta fall and fall hard.

Kelly, Gordie and Bean

Goodness, though 2 of these people have made questionable choices and said things that legit blasted me into orbit i love these three with all of my heart. Bean really tried to help everyone and i can see the producers giving her a bigger role next season because i can see she was under represented this season; she is legit the best. Kelly, though split between Will and Harry really gave all that shit up to be a self-actualized doctor. Same goes with Gordie, he was a creep, still kinda is... but he actually cares for all of the people now that Cassandra is dead.

Elle and Helena

Okay i love both of these characters so much I just feel like Elle has to learn to stick up for herself. I think she is going to play a vital role in the demise of campbell. Helena is such a good character but with a bitch for a boyfriend, she is probably going to lead New Ham after they get Allie, and work side-by-side with her.

Becca, Sam, and Grizz

OOOOOOH. Y’ALL BOUTTA GET A PARAGRAPHHHHH. OK, i love Becca and i think that her and Eden are going to be the best Mother-Daughter Duo in the world. The only problem i have with her is probably the fact that she is lying about the identity of her baby’s father. It is under speculation that it may be someone that maybe sexually assaulted her or that it may have been one of the parents.

Okay. Sam and Grizz... MY BABIES. Okay we love grizz for his cute ass and not just wanting to have sex with Sam, he actually flirted and learned some ASL and it was the cutest thing in the world. He deserves love and protection at all costs. He is amazing. Was it just me or did this man cry so freaking much but it was so pure, because he is so adorable. Grizz is going to have a lot of trouble coming out because now the guard has turned on everyone, and Sam is the “father” of Becca’s baby. I think Grizz is really happy with sam and the fact that they both promised to see each other after he came back gives me hope for the relationship. Also Sam is such a pure boyo, and he and Campbell are gonna have a lot more problems in season 2 when campbell finds out that he and Grizz are together. I love all three of these characters so much and they deserve the world.

Ask me questions, send me shows, talk to me about ‘The Society’ because i have minimal things left to do with my life and this is the best use of my time.

#the society #grizz #grizz x sam #netflix the society #netflix #this is some cute shit #the gays are quaking #sam eliot #gareth grizz #sean berdy #jack mulhern

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tetedurfarm · 5 years ago

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vincedakota replied to your post “i am excellent and naming animals and you should ask me what your...”

i cant send asks and this is completely unrelated but if you want to crunch an hour or two. whats your opinion of Every Arba Breed

you asked for it get ready for some Unpopular Onions

american: have doofy faces but i like em a lot. tried to get into whites several years ago but breeders kept ghosting me :( not as rare as ppl think but nobody likes whites it’s only blues at shows.

american chinchilla: bruh why do we have like three whole chinchilla breeds i don’t like chins that much in general why do we need three whole breeds of just chinchilla

american fuzzy lop: all the worst parts of lionheads and holland lops in one little package

american sable: never seen one in real life but i want to touch

argente brun: don’t understand why the argentes aren’t more popular, look at ‘em. they’re cool as heck. give me one.

belgian hare: do you love suffering? get a hare

beveren: i think they’re ugly sorry. suddenly got rly popular and idk why. remind me of basset hounds but with blue eyes.

blanc de hotot: absolute showstoppers. the supermodel of rabbits. why can’t i have any someone please give me a hotot i will pay lots of money

britannia petite: genuinely make me uncomfortable to look at. the big eyes and tiny body...they are gremlins and i do not like them

californian: boring but a good meat rabbit. what can i say they have a niche and are good at it

cavies: are not rabbits and make bad noises

champagne d’argent: the only breed i ever seen enter fur shows here lol. i wanna work with them to make silvery every other breed :)

checkered giant: Big Angery. only breed i’ve consistently been told not to ask to pet.

cinnamon: really cool lookin rabbits but every feral in issaquah looks just like ‘em so either a cin breeder had an oopsie or they aren’t that rare

creme d’argent: i’ve only seen ONE irl and it was like buttered toast. i love them. someone please breed them.

dutch: the only rabbit allowed to be visibly VM (hotots are vm too but you can’t really tell.) really cute little meat bricks. the holstein of rabbits, in that when i think of a generic rabbit i think of a dutch.

dwarf hotot: more popular than their commercial sized cousins and honestly it’s a RIGHT SHAME.

english angora: that is a mop. apparently betty chu is driving people out of the breed cos hers are all too good :’) the one we have is bonkers and i don’t like him.

english lop: hardly should be able to call themselves lops. sure they got big ears (which i don’t like) but to me a lop should have a brick face and they don’t and it makes me sad.

english spot: suuuper attractive animals, esp the goldens. if i hated myself enough to get into a running breed i would go for english i think.

flemish giant: BIG. FRICKIN. EARS. my husband’s fav breed. he likes the red ones. i have three growing out in my yard rn and they’re so cute.

florida white: for some reason they are becoming really popular with homesteaders? but i have never seen one in real life. really just kind of boring but apparently good for meats.

french angora: i don’t like anything i have to groom

french lop: BIG. FLOPPY. EARS. BIG. POTATO. FACE. truly the epitome of a lop. can’t wait til i get mine.

giant angora: ah yes let’s make MORE wool to groom no thanks

giant chinchilla: this is a chin just Big. boring, next

harlequin: fan favourite of my fur clients. if you hate yourself, show these. ofc i’m a sucker for calico things so i have a bunch but do you see me putting them on a show table? no.

havana: very good little dudes. husband likes the black ones. i can only justify one or two itty bitty breeds so i don’t have any.

himalayan: the stupidest looking animal i have ever laid eyes on and i love them so much. they spark immense joy. also very very sweet if my two are anything to go by.

holland lop: oversaturated in both pet and show circles. there’s just so many. the holland rings take HOURS to get through at shows. they are very cute but so far in general their personalities leave something to be desired.

jersey wooly: i hear they’re little demons but other than that i don’t know much about em

lilac: it’s a rabbit, but purple! never seen one in person.

lionhead: literally every byb pet rabbit is mixed with a lionhead. my first rabbit was a lionhead and he’s evil so there’s that.

mini lop: my first breeding rabbits were mini lops and they have a special place in my heart. but i went with french over minis cos Big Chungus.

mini rex: take a rex and make it small and able to produce peanuts. 5/10 not enough fur

mini satin: i have only ever handled one and it was enough for me! awful awful little creatures but very nice fur.

netherland dwarf: disgOSTINgly cute but oversaturated and also dwarfs. sorry.

new zealand: yep that’s a rabbit

palomino: it’s a rabbit but YELLOW. apparently the breed joel salatin breeds but his are all vm-y and he THROWS AWAY THE FURS i hate it. idk they’re cute i guess.

polish: it’s small alright

rex: supermodel of rabbits but wow is showing them the worst. rex people think they’re better than everyone else and it’s very tiring. so good for touching though. pelts sell for good prices.

rhinelander: very good 10/10 if they weren’t hard to find i’d consider them as well if i were gonna go for a runner

satin: considered getting into them but decided not to. the white ones look like they peed on themselves :(

satin angora: we have one and i have no complaints except that it makes wool

silver: someone apparently breeds them around here and it’s neat that chestnut is a colour they come in considering every other silver breed is like NO AGOUTI ONLY SELF

silver fox: this is the rabbit literally every homesteader has now and i don’t get it. they’re pretty and big but what a waste of good pelts by raising them for meat only. anyway they only come in one official colour (with the three general self colours in COD) so i find them boring otherwise. i can’t tell ours apart at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

silver martin: never seen one in person but they’re pretty. silver fox ppl hate them cos they “don’t even have a real silvering gene. they’re just chinchilla otters.”

standard chinchilla: WHY DO WE HAVE THREE OF THESE

tan: smaller than anticipated, but very pretty. why don’t more breeds have this colour. what even IS this colour. is it related to otter? IS it otter just without white? i’m intrigued

thrianta: photos really do not do that colour justice. kinda boring cos they only come in red but boy is it RED.

velveteen lop: technically still in COD but my opinion is the same as english lop. i don’t like their faces or the ears, sorry.

#vincedakota #long post //#cecile posts #disclaimer i love all rabbits i just love some more than others

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umbillicalnoose · 5 years ago

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i think that you would think im pretty and would like my poetry and i want to share it with you. im shy.

to be honest, im very apathetic these days. im not the nice “cutesy baby flower petal boy” i used to be. a lot has happened & im bitter & sullen & all in all, a pretty shitty friend/person to know. i used to possess some redeeming qualities, believe it or not, even if they were construed by the subconscious in an attempt to be likeable - a facade, even tho its only a facade, is still tangible, still there, is still something, even if not authentic. is poorer character forgivable in the name of presenting more authentically? but nah. that makes it sound like im putting effort into being a better person, which im not. im just sort of fried & done. its been a very long time since i played the role i built for myself on here of the “small fawn boy who wants to help girls” lmaooo. how embarrassing. altho, i was just a kid, & i guess, if you had a tumblr as a teenager, you went thru some cringe (i know the use of that word has fallen in on itself & adopted its own definition but for lack of a better one) ass phases, whether it was kinning or malingering mental illness or oh fucking christ, all that gender bullshit, etc etc. from what ive observed, tho, loosely following kids im still casually friends with that i met on here, i think we’ve all managed to Grow The Fuck Up, at least a little. most of us have jobs or r in school or have partners - growing up & moving on is a very surreal experience to watch/go thru. im moving at my own pace & ive accepted that - im still currently using & starving myself & concocting a suicide plan every day but at least i use clean needles as much as possible, i actively & honestly do strive for the bare minimum calorically, & um able to work with the mentality of “well ill have this when i need it but todays not that day” a lot more readily, in relation to suicide shit. ive finally found a therapist who Really Gets It, is a frontrunner internationally on ritual & extreme abuse & mind control. its pretty incredible what a few years with a good therapist can do. anyways. im sorry, i know you didnt ask for all this & im not even sure why i divulged. i guess, what tipped me off, was your attempt at sounsing “cute” - dude, cut that shit out, i promise youll be a lot better off. & i know everyone interchanges aspects of their personality based on who theyre talking to/who they percieve themselves to be talking to, but i feel like not a lot of people give enough credence to the internet & its hand in shaping/molding young people, kids, vulnerable dumbasses, especially tumblr (tho, i get that its a relatively new phenomenon) - u get a bunch of the “weird”, “alternative”, ““ostracized” kids together on a website, of course its gonna nurture a culture of hypervalidatoon & pretending to be sick in order to fit in to the point that its not an act anymore & exacerbation of symptoms & basically, just sucking each others dicks, sitting in ur own shit, & never ending coddling. & then, you have the older group of kids, who have played this game before but instead of helping or ignoring the Dumbshit kids, they indulge their own normally-buried-but-unleashed-by-internet-anonymity sadism/human instinct to just be fucking dicks & so now you have this vicious cycle of anger & hatred & fucking melodrama up the urethra. im sorry, i know im comig off as/am being harsh but god fuckin dammit yknow? also, this isnt directed at you, specifically, more of a generalized thing, @ myself included. so uh. i mean, if u still wanna share it with me after reading all this, id be happy to read ur poetry. i used to be over the top nice & then reverted to Major Asshole & am now trying to find that sweet middle spot - honoring & allowing myself to share my pain without putting it on others. which is really hard!! cuz becoming a Dick was difficult in that it forced me to be more honest with my true self & as such, more vulnerable - now in trying to become Kinda Nice again because despite being a pulsating scrotom, ive had the intense desire for friendship & human interaction, while simultaneously doing things that i was consciously aware was pushing others away - but then, if i pretend to be nice, where does that authenticity i worked for & was so scared of go? & i dont mean telling someone their new haircut looks nice even when it doesnt - thats just not being a dick. but i guess, those r the normal trials & tribulations of any relationship & adolescent developing identity. which is weird too - dealing with “normal” issues, i mean. whats the point if your life/limbs/breaking point arent at risk? whats the point when your best friends already dead. im sick of people calling "survivors” (despise that word, so fucking female-originated & overdramatic) “brave” & “strong” - surviving is not brave or strong. its just survival. you wouldnt call an animal brave for running for its life from a predator but you would call a dog courageous for going into a burning building to save its owner. premeditated action on the notion that you are probably going to be hurt is brave. being subjected to pain with no choice is not. theres no “silver lining” or anything “good” to be drawn from it either - sure it may have made x a more compassionate person or made y more introspective & gentle but you know what would have been even fucking better??? if the shit hadnt happened in the first place! let x be an asshole & y be self absorbed - the “benefits”, so to speak, do not outweigh the cost, not by a long fucking shot. its not only patronizing to hear garbage like that, but a slap in the face to know that anyone could possibly see anything good coming from that nightmare & that the characteristics, good or bad, you developed either in response to or as a result of, are worth praise. dont tell me im strong for doing what i had to to escape a torture chamber - tell me im perseverant for studying my ass off & passing that test last week. in the words of one of my dearest & most fucking brilliant friends, “pain doesnt owe me/you purpose - the need to intellectualize & assign meaning to pain & death is not only futile, but harmful.” & honestly, i think that it stems from weakness (in most cases - i realize theres a plethora of other reasons such as those who r just desperate for something to hold on to or r hyperintellectual & analytical or who have been pressured by external “support” systems to find the “good” etc etc) - while the majority of people view the person who “can find the good in everything” (strictly speaking only in relation to trauma/tragedy here & more in denunciation of those that celebrate this trait as opposed to vilifying “survivors” who respond this way, though in my experience, its very very very rarely the “survivor” that perpetrates this ideology ) as strong, i sort of see it as a weakness - their inability to sit with & absorb their own pain or that of others is so strong that not only do they have to frantically pull rainbows out of the teeth of a meat cleaver, they also have to exist within this strange (tho, not malicious - more subconscious) superiority complex. like, nah, dude, some times shit is just awful. you cant tell me anything fucking good came out of a four year old girl being kidnapped, gangraped, & tortured for two years, before being impaled & left to die on a stake. her mom opened a non profit organization? oh well thank fucking god for that!!! those that believe the latter to be more “enlightened” or whatever the fuck r the same people who say shit like “dying is easy - living is harder” & i get that that its supposed to be interpreted metaphorically for the most part - giving up is easy, trying isnt (which also.....isnt true??? admitting defeat & fully accepting the fact that ur fucking helpless is beyond hard lmao???) - but pretend youre somewhere, anywhere outside ur sunny little fucking yoga studio full of white women whos biggest issues r the pta & johnny whos failing math, & lets say your life is in real, imminent danger, a gun is to your head & i want you to not scream or cry or beg for ur life since dying is “easier”. if dying is so easy, why do the majority of ppl cling to it with such desperation - why is suicide illegal? why do some ppl go thru 100s of chemo treatments even tho the doctors say theyre just prolonging the inevitable, ppl who cut off a diseased arm so it wont spread, those who walk dozens of miles every day for food & water, etc? & i know & understand the survival instinct better than anyone, even when i wanted to die more than anything, my natural instincts would kick in with no conscious neural input & id do what i had to do. im not condemning those who cling to life (ok - a little. ur wasting resources out of ur own fear. but i also realize thats just me being a Fucking Asshole As Always cuz technically, im doing the same thing tho its more due to lack of opportunity rather than fear. i just think, societally, death should be more normalized, discussed, & not made out to be so unknown & scary), instead just reprimanding those who say shit like that (inspirational facebook quotes). especially cuz most of the ppl who do spew that shit have never gone thru anything even remotely difficult - their worst nightmare is a Big Scary Black Man grabbing them on the street, mugging them, & touching their tits. & i also know that these stupid ass sayings are to be applied to bullshit like exercise & fitness (“no pain no gain” is another one of my Favorites) & not fucking torture or even just ur run of the mill rape, even that would probably smash the rose tinted banana republic shades off their beverly hills tanned faces. but ive heard the no pain no gain one a handful of times in the last few weeks, specifically from doctors performing procedures in preparation for my bottom surgery. & i know its supposed to be encouraging & they have no way of knowing, but its just like, buddy, u have no idea who youre fucking talking to. & im starting to understand what THEY mean when they say it - pain with a reward is infinitely more tolerable than pain just for the sake of pain; like, a tattoo, it hurts, but u know, when its done, its gonna be sick as fuck. when u r able to fall back on the idea that its for something u rlly want, its A Lot easier to handle as opposed to pain thats Just Pain - theres no reward for it except, i guess, that the more u experience it, the closer u r to the end of it lmao. i mean, i still hate when ppl say it cuz for most of my life, pain was just pain, & the “reward” was the opportunity to go home at the end & so whenever ppl say that, my mind just immediately resorts back to that & im just like haha fuck u. but im trying to remember my experiences r definitely not universal & im starting to sorta understand what they mean i think. but, flipping gears here, & going back to the sentiment of “everything happens for a reason”, the base philosophy of psuedo deep Fuckwads - a girls dad didnt fuck her “for a reason”, everything doesnt happen “for a reason”. like ok, hypothetically, the kid he impregnated her with & that she was forced to have at 12 may surpass all odds & not become a homeless junkie & instead become a world renowned doctor who finds the cure for cancer. but she wasnt raped repeatedly from the age of six for that “reason”, no matter what anyone says & honestly, the liberation of the masses does not justify the suffering of one, especially a child. in my eyes at least. but again, im a bitter asshole. sorry i just Went The Fuck Off here oh my god.....if u read all this, thanks, pal. if not, thats cool too. but yea, send me ur stuff, id totally be down to read it. as for me potentially thinking ur cute, i have to look at my disgusting shitstain of a “face” every goddamn day so everyone else to me is fuckin aphrodite. but im also tryin to not put so much worth into physical appearance- its not something that should be complimented cuz its just smth a person was born with which is the same reason it shouldnt be insulted. this is gonna sound gay & stupid but i personally find that a persons essence & personality really permeates. you can meet someone who, objectively, isnt all that great looking, but once u get to know them, u really see their beauty - how the sun catches in their hair, their dilated pupils looking up at u from under long eyelashes in the dark, the birthmark on their right shoulder that they despise but that is so Them, the gap in their teeth, etc. & idk how to phrase this without it sounding like “well ur ugly but at least ur a good person”, cuz that only reiterates the societally indoctrinated emphasis on appearance & my kneejerk reaction to assure the person in question that thats not what im saying is only another result of that!!! its inescapable!!! but no, really, its not just a matter of “its on the inside that counts” - physically, they change or maybe, actually this is more likely, when i first meet them, my “default” eyes r just looking for features that i know im immediately attracted to (tall, blonde, sickly as in sunken eyes sticklike pale but still looks like she could & will beat the shit out of me) but as i fall in love or get to know them better, my eyes adjust & i notice & adore the beauty that was there all along. so uh. idk if ill think ur “cute”. but probably, yes, ill think ur an angel.

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ohsnapitzlovehacker · 5 years ago

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Quick Thoughts on HSS:CA Book 3 Ch. 1

Hello, welcome all 2 of you to my quick thoughts 🤣🤗 I have soooo many thoughts and probably 3x as many screenshots on my phone sooooo let’s do this!

- so. Much. Happened. In this chapter!! That’s not a complaint at all, just an observation

- so I’ll try to go in chronological order, keyword “try”

- THE TWINS BEING ALMOST LATE AFSGDH! I literally cracked up as Twin busts in the room like a crazy person, dog on his heels, telling his sister they done overslept. Like babies...my sweet children...why are y’all like this 🤣

- Meghan’s outfit!!!! Twin’s outfit!!!! CUTE!! You know what’s not cute?? Rory, Ajay, and Skye not having new threads for the new book, what gives PB???

- also was it just me, or were all the diamond choice costs pretty tame compared to what they usually are???

- Skye’s mother terrifies me. Not because she’s another abusive white woman who placates at being a mother...oh...wait

- Anyway, all I’m saying is she’s not Guy from MOTY bad...but neither of the would want to find themselves alone in an alley either okay 🤷🏾‍♀️

- Ppl who are romancing Ajay please feel free to interact to the post or my DMs or whatever...does he show up much in this chapter?? Like my MC sees more of Skye than Ajay (plus I’m salty on everyone’s behalf of not having Ajay on a cover. He was wronged and I can’t believe PB squandered an opportunity like this)

- Rory and Meghan are cute, part 1: the greenhouse scene, with the group talking about the London competition/ trip?? Adorbs. My heart can’t take all thissss 😭😭😩

- The fact that the Silvas left Rory and Megs home alone is almost shocking to me. But they’re good kids. So.

- Rory as Meghan are cute, part 2: can we TALK about the Duchess movie??? I picked all the choices with Meghan acting them out (because she’s a dork and owns that ish) and Rory is just there like “my girlfriend is the cutest thing ever, I die,” and I’m like bro same, like same *wipes tears from my eyes*

- shifting gears, I never thought they would broach the subject of the Twins adoptive parents, so that was a nice surprise (also it got so serious so quickly I was NOT prepared for the possible feels trip 💀)

- so we have a aunt in London, huh?? And Meghan is super excited but Malcolm is like sis pump the breaks, and honestly I sympathize. I don’t know what it’s like to be adopted, but I do feel like the twins embody both sides of the spectrum of feelings when it comes to this situation. Either way, I’m intrigued to learn more about their birth family and I like that Greg and Rita opened the channel of communication and gave the Twins the choices to pursue more information. Though...I’m not really all that prepared for future heartbreak. So.

- That diamond scene with Brock from LoveHacks was literally...so strange?? And funny?? And goofy?? But totally worth 16(?) diamonds?? Also Meghan got a REALLY cool sword?? Yup.

- Does it surprise me that everybody and they mamas’ wanna audition for the musical?? Nopeeeee. It’s London for crying out loud, a FREE trip to London. Oh shoot, also I totally forgot to mention our twin auditioning too (I’m all for it, I think it’ll be really fun and add another dynamic to the story)

- speaking of paid trips....I admit I was kinda blindsighted by Skye’s parents being the donors for Spotlite. I don’t trust it, I don’t trust them, and if this becomes the majority of Skye’s story or whatever it was that was hinted about Skye in the promos from months ago, imma be salty. My girl deserves better

- okay! That’s all! See ya next week 🤗

#long post #quick thoughts #choices hssca #high school story: class act #playchoices #posting on mobile #aka there are probably grammar errors galore (sorry)

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demented-dukey · 5 years ago

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Hey DD! If a person was taught to be one way, and they want to change, how do they go about it? Especially when their automatic reaction is the negative behaviour? (An example would be someone who was taught to be racist but is trying not to be)

*cracks knuckles* Okay! Here we go. Thank you for your patience, Anon. I wanted to give your question the contemplation it deserved.

Part of being human is being instilled from birth with undesirable mindsets from society and mentors/parental figures. Adulthood is a constant struggle for self-improvement, and it can take a lot of time and effort to root out these negative impacts and re-train yourself.

The first step to changing is having the ~desire~ to change. You have to recognize the behavior in yourself, and want to change it.

I read somewhere that your knee-jerk reaction is what has been taught/trained into you, and your second reaction is how you truly feel. As a personal example, when I see someone who is overweight wearing a tight outfit in public, my knee-jerk reaction is usually, “Oh, ew, tight clothing is not flattering on that size of body.” But I know that this is a result of years and years of fatphobic thinking that I’m still working on dismantling. My second reaction, on the heels of the first, is usually along the lines of, “Good for them for feeling comfortable in their body. It is none of my business how they choose to clothe themselves. Automatically assuming that overweight people cannot wear tight clothing is fatphobic - anybody can wear whatever they want to.” Don’t beat yourself up if your kneejerk reaction continues to be negative - it takes a long, long time to dismantle negative behavior, and as long as you recognize it and continue to work on it, you’re making progress.

You brought up racism, which. Whoo, boy. Tough topic. As someone who grew up White and Sheltered, I have a ~lot~ of feelings on the topic. I’m probably not the best person to talk to about this, but I’ll do my best.

Brace yourselves. Controversial topic incoming.

I’m White. I’m racist. I do my ~best~ not to behave in a racist way, but the fact is, I was born white, and have access to privileges due to the color of my skin. I CAN DO MY BEST TO COUNTERACT THIS, AND BEHAVE IN A NON-RACIST WAY, BUT THE FACT REMAINS, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE WHITE IN THIS COUNTRY AND NOT BE A LITTLE BIT RACIST. Maybe other people have different opinions, but this is where I stand. You can’t work to try to fix the problem if you’re denying that you’re part of the problem.

So. Every day, I try ~not~ to be racist. When I’m in a group setting, part of my mind makes a note of whether the group is primarily White or if it includes an even mix of POC. If I have any control over a situation, I try to make it more inclusive. I make a note of how much of my media is White-centric, and make a point to consume media led by POC actors or told by POC voices. If I’m in a racial discussion with fellow White People, I will vocally speak up on behalf of POC, and I will call out other White People on their racist comments. If I am in a racial discussion with POC, I will step aside and let them tell their own stories, and I will listen to them. I constantly work to make myself aware of my White Privilege, and I do what I can to help those less fortunate. I try to learn Black History/Native American History, and critically examine how much of my education has been white-washed.

Spanish is the leading second language in the US, and I am slowly trying to pick up a few words. If I am speaking with someone online who speaks another language, I will try to be considerate - it takes literally seconds to run my words through Google Translate, and if someone else is making the effort to speak with me in my language, the least I can do is make an effort to return the favor. If they’re comfortable conversing in English, then I won’t fight them on it, but I will let them make that decision.

I have a small group of close friends IRL, and yeah, they’re primarily white. I would like to have more close friends of various ethnicities, but on the other hand, wanting a Black Friend because They’re Black is a very racist mindset. I don’t want to be one of Those White People who say “I’m not racist! Some of my best friends are Black!” Because, ew. If I had more POC friends, I would be afraid that I would start unconsciously letting myself slip and assigning them the obligation to keep my racism in check, which, also, ew. So I guess that’s one silver lining to having mostly white friends. I’m open to making new friends, but I’m not going to force the issue. If I naturally become close friends with someone who is POC, then that would be awesome, but I feel really icky about trying to make friends WITH THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF HAVING POC FRIENDS. Because that seems to me like kinda a shitty thing to do.

So, yeah. You asked how to go about changing your behavior, so here’s my advice: Work on it. Pay attention to how you behave, and how other people behave. Try to find someone who behaves in a positive way, and work to emulate them. Try to find someone who has gone through the change themselves, so they can help you know what to expect. Understand that this may be a life-long struggle, and you may never be fully “fixed”. Break yourself out of your own comfort zone, and expose yourself to media that was not aimed at you. Take a hard look at the echochamber that you live in, and work on incorporating and accepting new voices and ideas into it. Stand up for those who are uncomfortable or unable to stand up for themselves. Don’t ignore or bask in your privilege, use it to help those who are less privileged.

For the racism thing, if you have a friend who is a POC, pull them aside and talk to them. Tell them that you’re trying to change, and ask them if they’re willing to help you. No one is obligated to spend their spoons on you, so if they’re willing to help, listen to them with an open mind. Don’t get defensive when they correct you. Listen to them tell you their perspective, and work on correcting any behavior they point out. When you’re talking to someone online and you don’t know what they look like, try mental exercises of picturing them with different ethnicities and see if your mind makes any assumptions.

Finally, I’m a huge supporter of therapy. I honestly think that ~EVERYBODY~ could benefit from a therapist. It gets a bad rep, because ppl think if you’re in therapy, then there must be something wrong with you. But it’s not just for mental issues and trauma. Therapy can be a great way to work through your personal biases, and the help of a professional can be exactly what you need to break out of these kinds of negative mindsets. They can help you explore where these mindsets came from, how to break them, and how to move forward with a better grip on your own mind and perspective. There’s bad/racist/transphobic/etc therapists out there, so if you don’t find a good one at first, don’t be afraid to drop them and keep looking. There are good therapists out there, and it is ~literally~ their ~job~ to help you change your own negative behavior. Don’t let the stigma of therapy scare you away from using this valuable resource.

I hope this helps, Anon! Good luck!

#dd asks #dd is slow #therapy #advice #people helping people #dd tries to help #wall o'text #i really talk a lot for someone who hates the sound of their own voice #no gif #serious talk time

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