#and i really dont feel like going over it again...
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Lucky charm!
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Pairing- Boyfriend! Jake x Girlfriend! Y/N
Summary- Jake, the top soccer player at UNI, always relied on Y/Nâs supportâuntil a huge argument left him distracted before a big game. Without her in the stands, he struggled to play, missing shots and worrying his team. Realizing how much he needed her, a teammate called Y/N, who debated but ultimately showed up, looking her best. The moment Jake saw her, his focus returned, and he played like himself again. After the game, they made up, proving that Y/N was truly his lucky charm.
Warnings- FLUFF, FLUFF, FLUFF, anger, angst, arguments, happy couple⊠(jokes! Not really)
Word count- 1.8k
plsplsplsplsplspls dont copyyy my work!
âYou donât get it, Y/N!â Jakeâs voice was sharp, frustration thick in every word.
âThen explain it to me, Jake! Because right now, it feels like Iâm the only one trying.â Y/Nâs arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her voice shaking between anger and hurt.
Jake let out a humorless laugh, running a hand through his hair. âYou think I donât care? That I donât appreciate you?â
Y/N exhaled sharply. âJake, Iâve been to every single game, every late-night practice, every stupid press conference where they ask you the same questions. And not once have I ever complained.â Her voice broke slightly, but she pushed on. âBut the second I bring up how I feel, Iâm the bad guy?â
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. The look in her eyesâraw and filled with unshed tearsâmade his chest tighten.
âI canât keep doing this if you donât want me here, Jake.â
His stomach twisted. That wasnât what he wanted at all. But his stupid pride got in the way, and instead of telling her the truthâthat he needed her more than anythingâhe muttered, âMaybe itâs better that way.â
The second the words left his lips, he wanted to take them back.
Y/Nâs face fell, her jaw tightening as she nodded slowly. âOkay.â
And just like that, she turned and walked away.
Jake stood frozen, watching her disappear into the night.
He had just made the biggest mistake of his life.
-
The silence between them was louder than anything Jake had ever experienced.
Y/N hadnât texted. Hadnât called. Hadnât shown up to practice.
Jake told himself he was fine. That he could focus better without distractions. But when game day rolled around, it hit him like a freight train.
He jogged onto the field, scanning the stands on instinct. But the seat where she always satâthird row, left side, just behind the team benchâwas empty.
His stomach clenched.
He tried to shake it off as the game started, but his body wouldnât cooperate. His passes were off. His speed felt sluggish. Every shot he took either hit the post, went wide, or was blocked by the keeper.
The frustration built with every mistake, weighing him down like lead.
The final whistle blew, and UNI had lost. Jake barely heard the post-game speech from his coach, too busy replaying every missed opportunity in his head.
When he got back to the locker room, he didnât even bother taking off his cleats right away. He just sat there, elbows resting on his knees, staring at the floor.
Jay, his closest teammate, nudged him. âDude. Whatâs going on?â
Jake exhaled slowly. âNothing. Just an off day.â
Jay scoffed. âNah, man. This is more than that. Iâve never seen you play like this.â He paused. âItâs Y/N, isnât it?â
Jake didnât answer.
Jay sighed. âLook, I donât know what happened, but itâs obvious youâre a wreck without her.â
Jake clenched his jaw. âSheâs probably better off.â
Jay rolled his eyes. âYeah? Then why do you keep looking for her in the stands?â
Jake said nothing.
Jay grabbed his phone. âIâm texting her.â
Jake shouldâve stopped him. Shouldâve told him to leave it alone.
But he didnât.
Y/N sat on her bed, knees pulled to her chest, as she mindlessly scrolled through her camera roll. Each swipe brought a new memory, a new reminder of everything she and Jake had been before it all fell apart.
There was a photo of him grinning at her during one of their late-night study sessions, his notes forgotten as he balanced a pencil between his nose and upper lip, trying to make her laugh. She had rolled her eyes at the time, but she could still remember the way her stomach had fluttered when he looked at her like she was the best part of his world.
Another pictureâJake, covered in sweat but grinning like a fool after a big win, his arm slung lazily around her shoulders. She had been laughing, caught mid-cheer, his jersey draped over her like a second skin. She had been so proud of him. She always was.
And then, one of her favoritesâa candid shot of them from a lazy Sunday morning. Jake, shirtless and half-asleep, stealing bites of her breakfast as she swatted at his hand, laughing at his shamelessness. His hair had been a mess, his eyes still heavy with sleep, but he had looked at her like she was the only thing that mattered.
Y/Nâs chest ached.
She missed him. More than she wanted to admit.
Her fingers hovered over his contact, the familiar urge to text him creeping in. But then, like a cruel reminder, his words echoed in her head.
"Maybe itâs better that way."
She swallowed the lump in her throat, locking her phone. If that was what he wanted, then fine. She wouldnât be the one to break first.
But then, as if the universe was laughing at her stubbornness, her phone buzzed.
Jay: Jakeâs a mess. He needs you. Badly.
Her heart clenched.
She should ignore it. He was the one who pushed her away. He was the one who made her feel like she didnât matter.
But⊠if that were true, why was he struggling so much?
Y/N exhaled slowly, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her expression was unreadable, but her eyes betrayed her, filled with something she wasnât ready to name yet.
She could walk away. Let Jake figure this out on his own. Prove to herself that she didnât need him as much as he needed her.
But that was a lie.
Because no matter how angry or hurt she was⊠she still loved him.
And she wasnât sure she ever wouldnât.
With a resigned sigh, she grabbed her jacket and touched up her makeup.
If she was going, she was going to make an entrance.
She headed out the door, her heart pounding.
Jake needed her.
And whether she liked it or not⊠she needed him too.
-
Jake jogged onto the field, his mind clouded with doubt.
His body felt heavy, his nerves shot. The last few games had been a disaster, and the weight of failure clung to him like a storm he couldnât outrun. He tried to shake it off, stretching his arms and bouncing on his feet, but nothing felt right.
Then, instinctively, he looked toward the stands.
And everything stopped.
His breath hitched. His heart stuttered.
Y/N was there.
Sitting in her usual spotâthird row, left side, just behind the team bench.
Jake blinked, half-convinced he was imagining it. But no, it was real. She was real.
And damn, she looked good.
Her hair was styled just the way he liked, her makeup subtle but stunning. She wore his favorite shade, the one he always said made her eyes stand out, and even from across the field, he could see the way her lips curved in something between challenge and amusement.
She came.
A rush of energy shot through his veins, the kind he hadnât felt since before she left. His pulse pounded, but this time, it wasnât from nervesâit was from something deeper, something electric.
His lucky charm had returned.
And just like that, everything clicked back into place.
The whistle blew, and Jake was unstoppable.
Every pass was precise, every shot powerful. He weaved through defenders with the confidence heâd been missing, his movements sharp and deliberate. The frustration that had been drowning him for days melted away, replaced by pure instinct.
And every time he scored, he didnât look at the scoreboard. He didnât look at his teammates.
He looked at her.
Y/N sat there, arms crossed, trying to look unimpressed. But he saw the way her lips twitched, the way her fingers tapped against her thigh. She was proud of himâhe knew it.
By the final whistle, UNI had secured the win. The crowd erupted in cheers, his teammates swarming him with congratulations, but Jake barely acknowledged any of it.
His eyes were locked on her.
Without a second thought, he sprinted toward the stands, pushing past the crowd. Y/N had already started making her way down toward the field, and when she stopped in front of him, they just stood there, staring at each other.
For the first time in days, Jake could breathe again.
âI was an idiot.â His voice was breathless, raw. âI didnât mean any of it, Y/N. I was justââ He exhaled sharply, running a hand through his sweat-damp hair. âI was scared. Of how much I need you.â
Y/N raised an eyebrow, arms still crossed. âYeah? I figured, considering how hard you flopped without me.â
Jake huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. âI deserved that.â
âDamn right, you did.â
A small smile tugged at her lips, but Jake didnât miss the way her tough exterior wavered, the way her eyes softened just slightly.
He took a step closer. âY/N, I mean it. I never shouldâve pushed you away.â His voice dropped to something quieter, more vulnerable. âYouâre everything to me.â
She sighed, finally uncrossing her arms. âJake⊠you canât shut me out when things get hard. Thatâs not how this works.â
âI know,â he admitted, his gaze never leaving hers. âAnd I wonât. Ever again.â
Y/N studied him for a long moment, and then, finally, she sighed in defeat. âYouâre lucky I like you, Sim.â
Relief crashed over him, and before she could say anything else, he closed the distance, wrapping his arms arowund her and pulling her in tight.
She hesitated for half a second before melting into him, her arms circling his waist.
Jake buried his face in her hair, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume, and everything felt right again. âI missed you,â he murmured.
âI know,â she teased, voice muffled against his jersey. âI could tell from your embarrassing game stats.â
He chuckled, pulling back just enough to look at her. âGuess I need you to keep me in check.â
âClearly.â
Jake reached up, brushing his thumb over her cheek, his voice softer now. âSo⊠does this mean youâll be at the next game?â
Y/N smirked. âAs long as you keep winning.â
He grinned, pressing a kiss to her forehead before whispering, âThen I guess I have no choice.â
Because she wasnât just his biggest supporter.
She was his lucky charm.
isa note! - lallalala first story!!! lalalall so excited! lalalalalla
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taglist~ @firstclassjaylee
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Diving back into your glory with the second response! Kiki you once again absolutely spoil me. I had the biggest damn smile and the giggles reading through this <3
okay so the first thing that caught my eye was the warning yoon why????? a whole jk and ady warning i can't i don't think i can make it through them fucking đ©đ©đ©
I'm a big believer in not shying away from writing things that may make people uncomfortable. Especially if I find it to be crucial for the plot, like it is here. It's a very important back and forth, metnal conversation, sen reactions and visual scene and it. is. important!! THEREFORE! you get a warning that it is going to happen to prep yourself! I know folks dont really side pairings a lot of the time when the sex is included with them, but in this case I needed it to show an important contrast so I kept it in.
also! Because I can. :)
(this is also why i will fight to the death for all my horror, yandere, boundary pushing writers. Just because their work makes YOU (general use) uncomfortable or upset, doesnt make them wrong for writing it)
like oc and nel i can handle but jk and ady ugh nooooooo our boy our prince not her please anyone else i can take but not her (i just realized the hate train towards ady is strong damn my loyalty to oc ain't cracking) so i am just going to power through that part and take the angst that comes with it (which I welcome)
I hope you were able to see why it was needed!! (let me know if you wanna!) and I appreciate your dedication so much. I know it's tough when it's obvious to you as the reader why something probably shouldnt happen and ngl that makes it wayyyyyyyy more fun to write.
i did notice that subtle hint at of using someone and the fantasies uhmmmmm ok that must be the upside...
noooooooooooooooooo comment đ
I honestly wonder why oc isn't mentioning her friendship with jk I honestly love it it's giving me little tingles,
She went over her reasoning in chapter three!! âș but that was a while ago so I cant blame you there. In a terribly summary she essentially wants to stay out of the public eye, keep the prince happy because she does emjoy his company, and not cause any drama with friends and family.
That being said! I love it too
i don't think i mentioned it but uhm this slow burn is everything its freaking burning and i think oc is definitely feeling it now that jk is with someone, the little encounter at the cafe and the texting they are just adorable and fluffy my face hurts from the smiles...
This is one of my favourite parts of the story. The banter, the subtle jabs, the build up upon build up, the realising of things and denying them, just all of it. Slow burns are my bread and butter, i can devour them always, and apparently I can somewhat write them too. Which is pretty cool
I just love how they have these opinions about each other's partners like the red flags they each see but they are all about each other's happiness, oc held back with ady but oooh jk isn't đ you go boy you tell her gosh i love his character in that scene....
This is another contrast!! It's intentional!! I love that you noticed because I try to be subtle about it. They both have their issues and deal with it in their own ways. OC very much deals with it in a small town girl way, whereas the freaking prince is, shockingly (not) very confrontational. I love that theyre opposites in this way.
oc and nel's scene had me pausing cause i literally went why the heck is she thinking about jk at a time like this and then she said it too it was epic oh oc you give me the gigglesđ
AHA i LOVE this. I also love the fact their yours and her lines of thinking lined up. That's actually really nice feedback in a way because it means I was able to write OC in a way that actually mimics real life thought patterns when in certain situations and thats REALLY COOL to hear as the writer from the reader.
Also! Happy to make you giggle! Humor is another thing I struggle with writing wise, so I'm glad I can make you crack a smile now and then with mine.
wait what she didn't finish?!?!??!?!?! THIS IS MY ACTUAL REACTION IT'S LIKE OC IS IN MY HEAD ANSWERING ALL MY QUESTIONS OC BABYGIRL NO DIDN'T YOU LITERALLY GIVE YURI ADVICE ABOUT HER DATE AND NOW THIS đ©đ©đ©
The best advice often comes from those who have experience with things one way or another.
Ex: I never dated in highschool and yet I was the person ALLLLLLL of my friends came too for their relationship advice.
So, my darling OC was just looking out for her bestie in that regard imo, as someone who has trouble in that aspect of her life.
and we jump straight into jk's horror I can't help it this back to back is amazing, not me shouting no through out his entire scene why jk why, here's oc is having trouble and ady on her fourth whyyyyyyyy he better have oc on his mind
YOU DID SEE HOW THE BACK TO BACK WAS IMPORTANT!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!
oh I'm so happy, literally this was the "let me know if you wanna" from earlier. This is what I was hoping for!!
JK is allowed to make bad decisions every now and then unfortunately as no one is perfect and no one has perfect coping mechanisms the first time they encounter new problems. He's human, and therefore is prone to making poor human mistakes.
as for the orgasm ratio....noooo comment :)
i love how jungkook says nels name in full i can literally picture the disgust and the face he would pull (cue oc eye roll) italics and all..
AHA I love this. This is probably my fave part im sorry becaue I wrote this in intentionally as sort of a joke that turns into a habit and it's just.....so him. And i adore it because its SO. PETTY. and I live for it.
i am writing this as i read so everything scene/sentence i go to write something on my notepad so i hope it all makes sense
it does!!
and let's just say when he shut her up the scene was better to read
As the writer, I'm cackling. As a reader, FACTS.
ugh jungkook likes oc he likes her fuck can they get together already i am dying here this chapter was perfect (even if ady was in it) like the build up and their thoughts both being on each other oh that tension is building i love the progression between them and the next chapter is gone be golden ahhhhhh lemme run over
Literally the only response I can think to give is just a bunch of these guys: đđđđđđđđđđ and then a giant THANKYOU!
yoon you beautiful genius you have my heart this fic is everything and it's getting more and more captivating as it goes along i can't wait to see what more you do in this series seriously yoon with every update i go back and re-read everything again and I am in awe every single time and your talent, like this should be printed like i want a physical copy when it's done you are brilliant and such a star for coming up with this ily yoon i hope you know that đ„čđ€
SOBBING IN THE CLUB KIKI. THERES A SPOTLIGHT ON ME, IM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CROWD OF DANCING PEOPLE AND IM SOBBING.
And funfact! I can actually bind this when I'm done with it as I am slowly gathering all the materials I need in order to do so. So maybe one day it will have a physcial copy (or two)!
Once again I feel nothing but warmth and love and light and kindness from your beautiful words. As much as I enjoy writing, it's words like yours and lovely folks like you that make me want to keep writing.
Thankyou. Truly, truly.
Xo, Yoon.
To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 6 | M
Title: Eastern Arrivals and Unwanted Doubt
Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader
Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn
Summary:Â Nel's here for the week and you couldn't be more excited!! Jungkook's another story though...
Warnings: M, fluff, smut, swearing, drinking, pining, angsstt, slight boundary pushing (not sexual), unwanted/ unneeded overprotectiveness, jealousy, lying, [reader eats bacon and eggs but it's not specified what kind or where it's from, just bacon and eggs, so whether that means veggie, vegan or normal is up to you], intentional pissing off of Nel, a little spat between major characters, sex as a plot device.
Mature warnings under the cut.
Word Count:Â 6,945
Release Date:Â April 20, 2:00PM
A/N 1: 6 months later and we have chapter 6! slow updates, but they will be written and they will be posted. I have no plans to abandon this, I just, very unfortunately, have a bit of an outernet life now. So not a lot of free time to be creative which I hate. But it's here!!
Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five
Mature Warnings: Consensual sex x 2, both reader with Nel and JK with Ady -> sorry not sorry cuz it's plot sex. We got us some: kissing, protected sex (as we should), missionary, fingering, oral (f. rec), tiny bit of groping (consenual), multiple orgasms, loud sex, like annoyingly, sex as a terrible coping mechanism (imo), fantasizing.
Bouncing lightly from foot to foot, youâre buzzing after finally receiving the text you were waiting on a few minutes ago.
Nelly <3 [10:10pm]: Landed. See you soon đ
Heâs almost here. Heâs almost here!
Just a few more seconds untilâ
The gates slide open. A flood of people in a mixture of sweats and business casual wear with luggage of all sizes and neck pillows walk through. You hold up the sign above your head with both hands, a smile that could outshine the sun plastered on your face, and search.
Where is he? Where is he, where is he, where is he, you think as you scour the bodies filing out of the automatic doors. You canât see him. Heâs none of the nameless faces that pass you by as they find their family, friends or rides.Â
Is this even the right group of people? What if his luggage got lost and he wonât be out with this group. What if he got taken aside for some reason, and now heâs being held in some dusty room being asked a bunch of stupid questions he doesnât know how to answer? What if heâs figâ
But then thereâs a gap in the crowd, and the boy youâve spent the last half decade of your life with comes into perfect, crystalline view. His lips pulled taught, teeth beautifully bared as he sets his sights on your sign high in the air, then down to you.
And you're running.Â
Youâre running and dodging and swerving until youâre jumping into Nels arms as he abandons his suitcase in favour of keeping you both up right. He buries his face into your neck, holding you so tightly you think heâll never let go. And thatâs just fine with you as you hold on just as tight, taking in a big breath of him too.Â
He smells like airplane and coastal breeze and most importantly, home.Â
Nel smells like home.
A muffled, âOhhhhhhh, I missed you,â greets your ears, and you melt into him even more if that's even possible.
âI missed you too,â you say, pulling back and kissing him. You donât really care if thereâs an audience or not right now. Not when Nelâs here, and heâs in your arms, and heâs yours for a whole 9 days and life is as it should be once again.
He releases his hold slightly, but your arms donât leave his shoulders. The sign still clutched, now crushed and crinkled, in one hand.Â
âCar?â he asks, a kiss to your nose.
âThis way,â you lead, releasing your hold.
Luckily, his suitcase is small, so he forgoes rolling it, instead gripping the handle at the top and carrying it in one hand. Your own reaching for his other and not letting go. Heâs going to have to peel you off him if he wants space right now.Â
Nelâs wearing his usual fall attire; a dark green school sweater that has âECADâ written over the chest in a large, academic looking mustard yellow font, regular old blue jeans, and dark brown lace up boots. His short, dirty blond hair's covered by a hat youâd gotten him as a highschool graduation present, and his ocean blue eyes remain as gorgeous as they were the day you met.Â
Passing through doors to the outside and back to lot J, you hop in the car as he puts his bag in the trunk.
âHow have you been? Whatâs new? Whatâs not? Tell me everything,â he asks as he climbs in and sits beside you, hand finding yours again.Â
Never gone for too long. You relish in the comfort and happiness that alone brings you.Â
Heâs finally here. You finally have him back.
âIâm great. Yuriâs still Yuri, classes are only a little more challenging this year, but Iâm still at the top of them,â Nel slips in a ânot surprisedâ and you smile brighter as you continue. âTheyâre already telling us to start brainstorming ideas for our thesis show next year,â you have no idea what youâre going to do, but youâre working on it. âCampus is the same, dorms are the same, the cafeâs the same. Though, they have the egg tarts I like in more, which is awesome for my taste buds and terrible for my bank account.âÂ
Vivian stayed true to her word, and now they had the tarts in every week.Â
âI can only imagine,â Nel jokes.
âUhhmm, what elseâŠâ a thought pops up, and you guess you can tell him. It doesnât reveal anything the whole world doesnât already know. âThe prince is dating Adaline Dupree.â
His eyebrows raise, remembering, âOh yeah, thatâs right, the prince goes to your school now.â
âYep.â
âHave you met him?â
Is he seriously not completely shocked at the prince dating Adaline? You only bitched about her to him all the time.
âUhhh⊠yep, once or twice, I guess.âÂ
You hate it. You hate lying, especially to Nel. You hate it so much, but itâs for the greater good. Itâs to keep the peace. But that doesnât stop the burning feeling in your chest nor the roil in your belly.
âThe day he arrived Yuri dragged me down to see him speak. She made us sit front row because Yuri,â Nel nods, knowing exactly what you mean. âHe had everyone assemble to hear why he was at school and tell us not to treat him like a prince. He wants to be able to study without his title getting in the way.â
You hit your blinker, making a one handed left turn.Â
âMakes sense. Is he nice at least?â Nel doesnât sound at all suspicious, and why should he? Youâve never given him reason to not believe you at your word before. Never lied to him before.
Fuck you hate this so much. It was so much easier when he was 5000 miles away. But now that he's right beside you? This week may end up being more difficult than you thought.
âHe was very princely. Tried to kiss my hand like he did like every other girl there, but I made it a handshake instead. Figured if he wants to be treated like everyone else, I would listeâOh!â you laugh before you can even get the words out.
âWhat?â he asks, intrigued but confused.
You can barely speak coherently. âYou should have seen Yuriâs face when I called him Jungkook and not Prince or Your Highness...her eyes nearly fell out of her head,â tears are starting to form from laughing so hard. âIt was great.â
âHe didnât mind?â Nel asks and you shake your head. Yuriâs face that day will forever be seared into your brain for whenever you need a pick-me-up.Â
âNo, he was grateful actually. I was the first person that had addressed him like that, the way heâd asked to be.â Stopping at a red light, you're finally regaining yourself.
âWell,â he squeezes your hand, âyou always were good at first impressions,â and looks at you so softly you canât help but smile into the kiss you give him.Â
He remembers that school art fair just as fondly as you do.Â
Nel pulls away first with a thought. âIs Yuri with us this time?âÂ
Yuri hadnât been able to go home last year, her parents too busy on a work trip, so she stayed back and kicked it with you two, but also gave you your space when needed.
Lots and lots of space.
âNope! Parents welcomed her with open arms this afternoon, Iâm sure. Theyâre all on some tropical island down south. Sheâs bringing me an ocean bottle though, so Iâm excited for that. Itâs been a while since Iâve been able to add a new one.â
Everytime you travelled somewhere with a beach you got a glass bottle and filled it with half sand, half water, added in some shells or rocks and labelled it. Instead of towels, keychains, or magnets, you did ocean bottles. They lined a shelf in your room back home.Â
You probably have at least fifteen of them by now. Your mum likes to travel and make sure you experience the world around you, not just your little corner of it.
âOh thatâs great babe! I know how much you love those.â
âYeah, it is.â You lean your head on his shoulder, basking in his presence for as long as the light remains red.Â
Heâs here. Heâs yours.Â
You only have to do this for a couple more years and then youâll be together all the time. God you canât wait. But you are nothing if not disciplined.Â
And itâs going to be so worth it in the end.
The rest of the ride to your dorm goes by quickly.Â
Some more red lights, some more kisses. You point out the same things you always do on the way back, and Nel acts like itâs the first time heâs seen them, just like he always does.
His hand never leaves yours over the center console.Â
Soon enough, you find yourselves flopping down on your bed. Bags, jackets and shoes, scattered. Nel pulls you into him, his head on your pillow, yours lying on his chest. True peace settling in for the first time in months.
âI can't wait until weâre done school and I have more than four and a half months with you a year,â he sighs. âItâs not enough. I want more. Need more.â
âMe too. But good things come to those who wait.â
âYeahâŠIâm just really sick of waiting.âÂ
âMe too,â you repeat in a yawn.Â
Nelâs breathing slowly evens out as you lie there, content to be in your arms again. And you look up to see his eyes closed, warm exhales brushing over your face from his nose.Â
You canât blame him for being so tired. Heâd had an early morning exam before flying out, even brought his suitcase to it so he could leave the second he was done. Then, the flight alone was ten hours, plus travel times to and from the airports was about an hour each way, and the wait time before boarding was another two.Â
Shit, heâs probably been awake for around eighteen hours straight at this point because heâs also the type that canât sleep on planes no matter what he tries.Â
Oh, Nel...Of course heâs exhausted.
Giving him a squeeze before getting up, you take off his socks and jeans carefully, then tuck him into bed as much as you can. Youâd try the sweater, but it involved too many working parts and you didnât want to wake him, so you figure itâs best to have the window open tonight instead.Â
Grabbing your phone, you tiptoe to the bathroom and do your night time routine. Itâs not an overly complicated one, just brushing your teeth, washing your face and a simple 3 step skincare routine of cleanser, toner and moisturizer. Short and sweet, but it does the job.Â
Halfway through brushing, you do your friend due diligence and send Yuri a âback safeâ text, just like sheâd sent you her own âhere safeâ when sheâd landed.
You spit and rinse, moving onto washing your face and applying cleanser.
Teeth clean and face moisturized, you sneak into your room again. Nel's still out cold.Â
You sneak out of habitâyour mom wakes at the sound of a pin dropping. But absolutely nothing could wake Nel now outside of his motherâs voice and his morning alarm. Itâs a talent of his youâve always been jealous of. Â
Removing today's clothes and tossing them in your overflowing hamperâreminder to self: do laundryâyou slide on your pjs and climb into bed beside him, plugging in your phone and setting it down.Â
A thought pops into your head and you pick it back up, shooting a quick text before you can think twice.Â
You [11:26pm]: home safe
It pings not seconds later.
PJK [11:26pm]: Thanks Picasso PJK [11:27pm]: glad ur home safe
Your heart beats a little louder at the nickname, and you chalk it up to the excitement still in you at having Nel here and being tired.Â
But you sleep better that night than you have in a long time.Â
A short, repetitive, rhythmic vibration.Â
Picasso [11:26pm]: home safe
Jungkook is still standing in the same corner by the wall, Adaline somewhere in the crowd in front of him dancing with her friends. She asked him to join her, but he declined. He doesnât need to see himself more than half drunk and dancing on the cover of tomorrowâs news cycles. Not to mention his security team would shut the party down the second a camera flashed.
His guards are carefully stationed throughout the house, all dressed down in casual wear, a few with empty cups in their hands. One is watching some sort of beer pong like game in the corner, another is mingling with some guys over in the kitchen. Three he canât immediately see. And he knows his head guard is outside in a black car ready to get him out at a moment's notice.
Nobody can tell they arenât here for the party, not unless theyâre sober enough to notice watchful eyes continually making their way over the crowd as the night goes on.Â
Your text woke him from the stillness heâs adapted from standing so long, trying hard not to draw attention to himself.Â
You were home safe. Home safe from the airport. Home safe from picking up Cornelius.Â
Your boyfriend.Â
Cornelius, your boyfriend.Â
He doesnât acknowledge his teeth grinding.
You were home from picking up your beau but even then, youâd texted him to let him know you were back on campus safely. To let him know you were okay.Â
Itâs the first thing that makes him smile all night.
So he sends back, a bit to quickly:Â
Me [11:26pm]: Thanks Picasso Me [11:26pm]: glad ur home safe
Because it means something to him that you deem him close enough to send a âhome safeâ text too.Â
That you want him to know youâre back. Â
Want him to know youâre safe.
Whether you know it or not, your safety means a lot to Jungkook, so that little two word text makes his heart lurch.Â
He needs to leave.Â
He needs to get out of this fucking house and back to his dorm. He came, he drank, he observed, he fulfilled his boyfriend duty.
Thatâs enough for him.Â
He shoots Adaline a text that says he isnât feeling well and gets out as fast as he possibly can, dodging bodies left and right and doing his best to hide his face.Â
Once heâs out, security team in tow, the cooling midnight air does him some good.Â
âSomeone make sure she gets back to her dorm safe,â he says in their general direction, brain too muddled to be polite in this exact moment, but itâs nothing they havenât seen before.Â
This is going to be such a long week.
He canât wait till itâs over. Till he doesnât have to share anymore.Â
He was never very good at it anyway.Â
The smell of bacon wakes you.Â
And toast, andâŠ
Eggs?Â
You think, at least. Since when do you have bacon? Or eggs? Toast is a given, itâs part of your lifeâs blood.
Opening your eyes, you blindly reach for your phone, successfully unplugging it and bringing it to your face.
The screen is too bright but you suffer through it, squinting.
9:27am.Â
9:27?Â
You slept for ten hours!?
You canât remember the last time you slept more than 6 consecutively, aside from recovery nights, and even then it was fitful.
Nel comes in with two plates, his full with a very Eastern breakfast of pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Yours with two pieces of toast, lots of bacon, a bit of eggs and some fruit. Where did heâ?
He smiles at your confusion, âYou have a cafeteria that sells breakfast food, you know.â
You know that.
âI know that.â
âDo you? Because the look on your face says otherwise.â
You flop back down and pull the pillow over your head, mumbling incoherent nonsense. You rarely used the dorm cafeteria for breakfast. Much preferring the greenhouse cafe or simple toast and juice that you can make in your dorm.
He chuckles. âTwo breakfasts for me then, okay, if you insist,â Nel moves to leave but you screech, uncovering your face.
âNoo! I want it. Please, sweet nutrition,â he hands the plate over when you sit up, arms out stretched, and you dig in.Â
After a piece of bacon, you ask, âHow long have you been up?â
Nelâs sitting with his legs crossed at the end of your bed, munching away, âLong enough to get changed, grab my wallet, get food and come back.â
The bacon is really good. Youâve never been so glad he knew you so well as you grab another piece from the dwindling pile.
âYou slept well then, too? Thatâs good, Iâm glad. You needed the rest.â
âHaving you around always makes it easier to fall asleep,â he nudges your knee with his elbow.
Even after five years he can still make you blush.
âI know the feeling.â
You two fall into step, starting your weeks in advance prepared plans, the rest of your day passing quickly.Â
Too quickly.Â
And so does the next day, and the next, and the next.Â
All of your activities are going great. The zoo, picnics, study dates, restaurant dates, historical, artistic and architectural museum tours. Even a swim at the schoolâs indoor pool, and thereâs plenty more to come.Â
Things slip back into being easy, just as they always have been with Nel, ever since that first day back in tenth grade.Â
He knows you like the back of his hand and predicts your moves before you make them, just like you do for him.Â
You know his favourite foods, and where he prefers to park when drivingâalways avoiding open curbsâyou know his dream travel destinations, and who his favourite musicians are. You know his favourite pencils to design with and his favourite pencils to shade with, that he always put on his right sock first, then right shoe, then left sock and left shoe. You know that his drink order is an iced coffee with two cream and two sugar, that he prefers loose shirts over fitted ones, and that his favourite colour is orange.
Itâs a pretty orange too, not just any orange. You wonder if itâs anything like Jungkook'sâ
Wait.Â
You search your memory for the information, going through favourite foods, drinks, musicâall discussed previously, because you know their answers. But colour?
Nothing.
How have you never asked what Jungkookâs favourite colour is?
Isnât that usually one of the first things people ask when theyâre trying to get to know one another? Funny. Guess youâll have to inquire the next time you see him.Â
Anyways, just like you know everything there is to know about Nel, he knows everything about you too, including your routines.Â
Which is why at twelve noon every day, he starts getting ready to go to the greenhouse for your afternoon study session.
Including today. Â
Your weekâs already half over and you hate it. Time always moves far to fast when all you want it to do is slow the fuck down.Â
You only have five days left. Five days.
Youâre lucky the greenhouse cafe is open during break, some places on campus are required to stay open for the students who canât make it home, but greenhouse chooses to.Â
As you and Nel turn the corner you see a familiar figure sitting in his old spot at the back of the patio. The same hat, mask and hoodie, now paired with a leather jacket on top due to the weather starting to cool down.
You can tell Jungkook wasnât expecting to see you by the way he stiffens before those all too familiar brown eyes of his meet your own. Which is fair, your schedule shifts a bit when youâre on break, he isnât used to you being here at twelve on Wednesdays.Â
But as quickly as he sees you, his gaze is back on his laptop, like he never saw you in the first place.Â
Like you asked him to do.Â
And a sharp pain stings inside your chest.
When you and Nel get to your table, he sits in the seat opposite to where you always do, leaving where Jungkook usually sits beside you, empty.Â
A part of you is grateful for that, though you canât figure out why and table that self discussion for a later date.Â
Setting down your things, you ask Nel if he wants coffee. He answers yes, like always, and after a quick visit with Viv, you're pulling out your chair and setting down your cups. Your back faces Jungkook. Itâs a small mercy you canât see him. Maybe you can forget heâs here and actually focus on your work.Â
But itâs also exactly because of your position, that you canât see as Jungkook subtly watches you over the rim of his laptop while you and Nel talk quietly and study.Â
Nel can though.Â
It feels weird to ignore him. To pretend you donât know one another when for the better part of the last seven weeks all youâve done is talk, hang out, study or a mixture of the three, every day.Â
When having him sit behind you and not beside you feels so wrong and so foreign.Â
But this is your own doing, you caused this. So you need to suck it up and get used to it.Â
This is exactly what you asked for all those weeks ago. The perfect solution to your problem.Â
No one can know.Â
Not Nel.Â
Not anyone.Â
But fuck, if it didnât absolutely suck in practice.Â
Setting some of your books out around you and on the table Jungkook usually uses, you dig into your business homework. Having a major and a minor are great for job prospects, on paper, and in practice after youâve completed them.
But getting them? It takes years of hard work and dedication with no distractions.Â
None. Â
You spend almost every free moment you have doing homework or practicing, trying to get ahead, trying to stay on top.
âŠTrying to beat Adaline.Â
But you just use that as fuel for your drive to be better. To be the best.Â
Competition is healthy. Especially when youâre winning against the rich brat whoâs used to getting what she wants.Â
Not that you're petty.
EhhâŠYou are. But only a little bit. At least you can admit it.
Nel gets to work as well, the sunlight from his spot is great for drawing. Heâs working on a rough version of his thesis project thatâs due at the end of the year. He has to have multiple completed renderings as well as a scale model, and heâs been brainstorming since last year about what he wants to do.
Currently, heâs drawing up an airport, trying to design so that itâs not confusing and complicated for first time users.Â
However, his occasional swearing and muttering to himself makes you think heâs having a tough time with it.Â
You try not to laugh, but a small giggle slips out.Â
âWhat,â Nel asks, a little distracted.
âNothing.â
âNo really, whatâs up? I could use a laugh right now,â he insists, eyes on you at first. But then something behind you steals their attention every few seconds.Â
Someone.Â
âYou justâŠyou still make funny sounds when you're frustrated with a drawing. Itâs endearing.â You reach to place your hand on his knee, trying to gain back his full attention.Â
Ignore him, Nel. Please ignore him.Â
âYeah...â he exhales. âI guess airports are out,â his hand covers yours quickly and you hear a faint chair screech from behind you. Nel doesnât miss it as he says. âBut I do have a much bigger appreciation and understanding for all those who came before me,â pupils now unmoving from their target behind you.Â
Fine.Â
Youâll acknowledge it.Â
âIs everything okay? You keep looking at something? Is there an animal orâŠâ You know what heâs looking at, but go so far as to turn anyway, playing up the âconfused girlfriendâ role. But Nel squeezes your hand, stopping you.Â
He leans in, placing a fake mask of serene on and lowers his voice. âThat guy keeps looking at us, moreso you. And he looks pissed off.â
Fuck, think of something.
Anything. AnythiâOh!
You lean in too, so close your noses almost touch. âHeâs probably just upset weâre talking. The greenhouse cafe is usually a quiet place to work,â good enough, you think. Thatâs believable, right?. âItâll be fine. Letâs just ignore him and get back to work.â
You place a quick kiss on his lips but Nel isnât letting up on his unnecessary vigilance. But then again, he doesnât know that Jungkook is the opposite of a threat to you. So you reassure him, in your own way. Â
âBabe, seriously. If youâre going to be all protective or whatever, donât. I come here everyday when you're not here and Iâm still alive and unharmed. Go get a sandwich or a refill to get your head off of it and say hi to Viv. Sheâs still here, and Iâm betting she remembers you. Youâre kinda hard to forget.âÂ
You can tell Nelâs about to reject the idea when you insist. âIâll be fine, Nel. Promise. Three years and not a scratch on me.âÂ
He sighs through his nose, but relents.Â
Placing his drawing pad on the table, he gets up, but not before placing another kiss to your forehead and mumbling, âScream âcumquatâ if youâre in danger and Iâll come running, okay?âÂ
You laugh outright at that. âWill do.â
You watch him as he goes, and the second heâs inside, youâre racing for your phone, typing at an astounding speed.
You [1:45pm]: Didnât your royal upbringing teach you not to stare so blatantly!??? Nel caught you
You hear a quiet ping from behind you followed by a small exhale that sounds more like a disguised chuckle.Â
PJK [1:45pm]: Yes. Â
You [1:45pm]: So you intentionally got caught?
PJK [1:45pm]: Maybe
You [1:45pm]: Shithead
PJK [1:46pm]: Rude
You [1:46pm]: You deserve it
PJK [1:46pm]: I know. Iâm just making sure heâs treating you right. PJK [1:47pm]: and trying to see if he acts differently when he knows heâs being watched. Heâs very protective you knowÂ
Jungkook saw the second Nel noticed he was watching you.Â
His posture changed from easy going to on alert. His hand went so quickly to yours on his knee and his public displays of affection increased significantly.Â
It was pathetic, really. It went above a normal amount of protection. Nel was claiming his âpropertyâ, making sure Jungkook knew not to touch.Â
And the nasty look Nel gave him as he entered the cafeâgratefully still unrecognizable in his disguiseâwas another silent way to say back off, stay away, and donât try anything or youâll regret it.Â
It was a red flag in Jungkook's mind. A small one, but itâs still there because his efforts are completely unneeded. After five years together, Nel should know that you can handle yourself.Â
Hell, Jungkook knows that and itâs only been two months.Â
You [1:47pm]: yes I know he is, and I already told you he treats me well because he always. Does. Not just in public or under watchful eyes You [1:48pm]: and since when does my boyfriend of half a decade need your ~princely~ seal approval?
He ignores the small jab. You only ever brought up his title when you were mocking or upset with him. And he knows that in this case it's the latter.
PJK [1:48pm]: Since now PJK [1:49pm]: And itâs not that I donât trust you at your word, but I usually like to decide for myself
That has you reeling.Â
Where does he get the audacity to think he has any say in or about your relationship? Your very solidly built, five years strong, healthy, happy relationship?
Because heâs the Prince? Youâre pretty sure you established on day one that you didnât and still donât give a fuck about his birthright.Â
If he thinks he gets an opinion on any of this heâs got another thing coming the second he asks you anything about Adaline again.Â
Youâre in the middle of typing out a paragraph explaining all of this when another text comes in. Â
PJK [1:49pm]: Because Iâve seen far too many women in love who are blind to certain things PJK [1:50pm]: And far too many hurt in the end because of it.Â
You pause. Fingers frozen mid swipe.
Blind to what?
How many women did he know that were in love but missing something about their partner? Surely there couldn't be that many. Right?Â
But this was Jungkook you were talking to, heâs lived numerous lifetimes already. That fancy birthright of his you donât care about having given him far too many life experiences to have at his age. And theyâre only going to increase from here.
So instead of hitting send and cursing him out quite spectacularly, you stop and think for a moment.Â
What did he see that they didnât?Â
That you might⊠not?
Youâre a decent judge of character if your record tracks. And it does.Â
So your curiosity gets the better of you as you delete your rage paragraph and settle for a simple two word question instead.Â
You [1:50pm]: Like what?
You can see that heâs typing out a response but the bell on the cafe door rings and you put your phone down. It buzzes with his response a few seconds after.Â
Youâll check it later.
Nel takes his seat again, and you notice he has his sandwich, but also that heâs moved his chair and starts sketching from the new position giving him a direct eye line with Jungkook.Â
You internally scoff at that.Â
Nel has always been protective. But he was raised that way and you donât mind too much. You donât expect him to change his core values for you, just like he never expects you to change yours for him, even when a couple of his are just the slightest bit overbearing.Â
But thatâs part of a relationship. Give and take and compromise. No one person is going to be perfect for another. Itâs healthy to have differences.Â
That being said, Nel doesnât change positions for the rest of the hour. Even as Jungkook packs up and leaves, Nel eyeballs him until heâs out of sight.Â
That night while Nel is brushing his teeth and you're lying in bed, you check the text from Jungkook.Â
PJK [1:51pm]: Like if theyâre getting treated the way they should be or if theyâre settling for the best they think they can get or for the first guy that showed interest. The one who hasnât grown up even though time has passed. The one whoâs holding her back by not setting her free
You stare at your phone. At the text. At his words.Â
And dismiss it.Â
You arenât one of those women.Â
You know yourself.Â
You know what you deserve and how you should be treated. You didnât settle, you just happened to find your love at a young age. Thatâs something special and rare and should be protected. And Nel has most certainly grown up as time passed.Â
Jungkook is being ridiculous for absolutely no reason. Surely heâll have seen that today. Seen how Nel loves you, treats you how you deserve to be treated, holds you up. Supports you.Â
Youâre confident heâll be eating his words soon enough.
Finished brushing, Nel comes back to the bedroom and snuggles up behind you and you put down your phone.Â
He cuddles you for a minute before placing a kiss at your neck. Then another. And another before heâs mouthing up your neck, and sliding a hand up your thigh and to your waist. It pauses on your stomach with teasing caresses, before dipping lower and lower, beneath the fabric of your sleep shorts, and under the elastic of your underwear.Â
A small moan sounds in your throat at the touch. His fingers meeting your folds and the sensitive bundle of nerves at their apex.
You wanted this.Â
Need it.Â
Heâs grown, you think; as a finger slips in you and you gasp at the stretch, legs opening wider for him. A second finger plunges in and you can feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with every thrust. Just like you can feel a bulge forming behind you.Â
You know what you deserve; as he uses them to scissor you open, making sure youâre ready. You roll over, now on your back with Nel over you as he pulls your shorts and underwear down to get better access, your own hands removing your shirt.
Youâre not settling; as Nel moves down, tongue making a couple swipes at your entrance and you hiss in pleasure before heâs reaching over, grabbing a condom from the nightstand drawer and sliding it on, length hard and dripping at the sight of you bared before him.Â
Nel wasnât the first guy whoâd shown interest, just the first youâd said yes to; and he slides in. Both of you moaning at the snug fit.
âFuck...â he says and you nod, agreeing, before pulling him down into a deep kiss.
He eases into a slow, steady rhythm that has you breathy and his abs tensing.Â
But itâs not enough. You need more. You need to erase these past two months without him, and take enough to last for the next two. Itâs never enough, but you try.Â
âFaster baby,â you beg, âPleaseâŠfaster.â
Nel isnât holding you back. Jungkook doesnât know what the fuck heâs talking about.Â
Nel picks up the pace and you start moaning, louder like you know he likes. Likes to hear heâs doing a good job. Heâs grabbing your breast and sucking in a nipple, tongue swirling and you're bringing your hips to meet his with every thrust.Â
It feels good. It always feels good with Nel.Â
He was your first everything. First kiss, first intimate touch, first love.Â
Only love.
And he makes you feel good with that love. That touch. His kiss.
He makes you feel safe, inside and out.Â
Jungkook can go eat grass. He doesnât know your relationship. Doesnât know the first thing about it.Â
âThere, right there!â you whine as Nel hits your sweet spot once and you arch. He tries again but misses, continuing faster, his peak coming quickly.Â
Jungkook can never understand what you two have. What you two have built in these five years. The understanding and security that comes with it.Â
Heâs being an unrightfully opinionated ass on something he knows nothing about andâÂ
Fuck! Why are you thinking about Jungkook? Youâre having sex with Nel. You shouldnât be thinking about anything or anyone other than that.Â
Than him.Â
So why canât you get what Jungkook said out of your fucking head?
âAhhh⊠oh fuck. Iâm cumming.â Nelâs hips stutter, his face contorting in pleasure as he releases, filling the condom.
You kiss him passionately to rid yourself of your princely plagued thoughts, the ones filling you with unwanted and unnecessary doubt. You want them gone, gone, gone. Nothing but Nel in their place.Â
And you slip an, âI love you,â in between kisses for good measure.Â
Jungkook could never understand.Â
Nel kisses you back just as hard, dramatically slowing his thrusts, drawing out his high for as long as possible.Â
âI love you too.â
Jungkook doesnât know anything.Â
Nel groans into your lips when it becomes too much and pulls out.Â
Removing and tying off the condom, Nel goes to the washroom to throw it out and starts the shower he knows youâll be joining him for when you're done.Â
A routine youâre all too familiar with.Â
One you created.Â
He knows you need a few minutes to get yourself off.Â
Youâve never been able to cum from sex with a partner. No matter how hard you tried. No matter what you did.Â
Most would think Nel wasnât a good lover or wasnât trying enough, but it was through years of constantly trying anything and everything that you learned you justâŠcouldnât.Â
No amount of fingering or oral or penetration from your partner could make you orgasm.Â
So Nel knows to wait for you in the shower as you finish yourself off, your own fingers making quick work of it, because you always could for some reason.Â
It isnât your ideal situation, and it isnât anyoneâs fault. But it works. You both get the intimacy you crave and you accepted a long time ago that you were just one of the unlucky few.Â
Screams fill Jungkookâs ears as a hand finds his hair and nails rake against his scalp.Â
Adaline isnât a quiet receiver.Â
âOhmygod!â She shouts for the twentieth time. âYes! ThereâŠso goo-oohhhh,â the last syllable turning into a loud moan.Â
Heâs holding her downwith a forearm by her pelvis, mouth full as he brings out her third orgasm of the night, juices flooding his tongue.Â
Heâs working out earlier frustrations and proving a point to himself in this fucked up version of self therapy.Â
He shouldnât be.Â
But he does.
Has to.
Seeing you today with Cornelius spurred feelings within him that he didnât know he had. Sure, there were bits and pieces of something stirring he refused to name, but today?Â
They were in a whole different ballpark. Different than anything else heâs ever felt before, brewing inside him, bubbling up to the surface even though heâs been trying his best to pop them and shove them down.
Anger?Â
Feelings he doesnât want to have.Â
Jealousy?Â
Does have.Â
Wanting you to look at him the way you look at Nel?
Canât have.Â
Not forâŠÂ
He admits he provoked Nel because he could. Dick move, but it was because Jungkook knew just by looking at him that giving you any form of attention would piss him off. He seemed the type.Â
Overly possessive, overprotective.Â
Overbearingly so.Â
Suffocatingly so.Â
Because Nel knows how lucky he is. That you chose him. That you still choose him.Â
He knows he has to keep others away.Â
Knows he isnât good enough for you, holds you back. But keeps you anyway.
The selfish prick.Â
So Jungkook eyed you up and down, leisurely, and for as long as he wanted. Purely out of the need to prove to himself he was right about his little assessment of your boyfriend. At least thatâs what he told himself.Â
Was it childish and unnecessary?Â
Yes.Â
But he was right. And that felt good.Â
He could see in your posture and your hushed words you didnât want Nelâs protection, didnât need it, and that Nel ignored that wish of yours. Did what he wanted to instead of respecting your ability to make decisions for yourself. Bulldozed your opinions.Â
It pissed Jungkook off.Â
Heâd left a little while after sending you that text to read, but you never did. At least not since the last time he checked. And so heâd made plans with Adaline the second he was out of your earshot. Calling her up and setting a time for whatâs currently taking up his primary focus.Â
Because even though it was Adaline underneath him, for the very first time, thatâs not who he imagined it was.Â
Not who he just dragged a fourth orgasm out of with his fingers because he could.Â
Because he would. He would be so much better. Give so much more. If onlyâŠÂ
Fuck.
Jungkook stands and drags his cock over Adalineâs entrance, whacking it against her clit a couple times before running the tip through her folds and pushing in. He hisses at the feeling. At who he was sinking into in his head, splayed out in front of him. Skin glistening with sweat mixed with arousal. Mouth open, slack jawed in pleasure.Â
Adaline moans loudly and it dissolves his visual.Â
His tattooed hand moves to hold her hands above her head, the other silences her mouth.Â
âQuiet now,â he whispers, low and deep. A bead of sweat dripping off his brow, hair sticking to his neck and temple.
He intends it to be sexy for her, but in reality, heâs just sick of hearing her. Itâs ruining his mental image. Not that sheâll ever know that though.Â
To Adaline, this session is all about her and making her feel good.Â
But constant screams and loud, pornographic moans arenât appealing to him in the slightest. They're taking him out of the mood. Making him soft.Â
Once or twice when itâs genuine? Sure. But the constant assault she loves to give his eardrums? Not even a little bit.
He sets a fast, rough pace, and Adalineâs eyes roll back in pleasure, screams finally subsiding in white hot bliss, replaced by bitten lips and smothered whimpers.
He is going to prove this point to himself over and over again. All night if he has to.Â
And he has to. Â
To get whatever it is heâs feeling for you out of his system.
To keep his sanity.Â
To forget.Â
And while itâs Adalineâs name is on his lips when he cums.Â
Itâs not the name he repeats in his head like a prayer.Â
Chapter Seven: Hard Goodbyes and Favourite Colours
A/N 2: Thanks for waiting for this chapter. I'll try my best to have 7 out as soon as I can get it. I promise.
A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3
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#NUMBER TWO DONE!#even though i just responded with a bunch of them#i have no words#people like you keep the fic community alive i hope you know thta#there would be no community without you#i adore you#reviews#TWWWBAATTA reviews#Eastern Arrivals and Unwanted Doubt#moonchild1#KIKI<3#as always if there are typos no there isnt
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matt surprises angel for valentines day.
honestly no warnings besides fluff, smoking, and cursing. happy vday everybody! :) angst at the end, i'm sorry it's dirtbag!matt if u donât wanna read the plot twist dont read the last sentence
matt was never one for valentines day. you were though. he's spent a couple valentines with a couple girls over the years, but never once bought something for them, other than just a good fuck.
he felt different for you, though. he knew you absolutely adored valentines day. all the pink, the hearts, the love in the air. he wanted to make you feel good, and not just with his dick. he wanted to see you happy.
he still denies having feelings for you.
when he told chris and nick his surprise for you, they couldn't even fathom thinking matt could be this nice, especially for someone he's know for 4 months, max. but they weren't complaining, and they knew you would love it.
this day has been hell for you. you wanted to be happy with valentines day, but your school work was piling with reviews for finals soon, and your job booked you a double shift, which made you confused because it was a library, and you didn't really expect anyone to come on valentines day. you were wrong.
it was around 6:30 that matt had texted you that he was picking you up from work after you mentioned to him earlier that you were working a double. luckily for him, it gave him extra time to set up and to do whatever he needed to do.
he texted you that he was outside, and you clocked out at 6:45. he was waiting outside on the curb, leaning on the passenger side with a blunt in his hand. when the doors opened, he looked over and smiled a bit. "hey, baby." he walked over, wrapping his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.
you didn't say anything, just hummed and wrapped your arms around his body. you inhaled his warmth, and his scent of weed and his cologne that you absolutely loved. he noticed your quietness and leaned his head down, kissing your cheek. "y'tired angel?" he asked softly in your ear.
you nodded, pushing your head deeper into his hoodie. "cmon. let's get you in the car, you're freezin'." he pulled away from the hug, but wrapping his arm across your shoulders as he walked you to his car. he opened the passenger side door, gently putting you in.
he got into the car, and started it, and giving you the blunt in his hand, which you happily accepted. "i got a surprise for you, angel. for valentines." your tired self looked up at him as your face lightened almost immediately. "really?" you said happily.
he nodded, smirking. "y'gonna love it. y'can go to sleep. i'll wake you when we get there." he rubs your thigh a bit, before squeezing it and turning on the seat heater for you, just like you like it.
you nod, handing the blunt back to him before leaning your head on the window, immediately letting sleep overcome you. about 15 minutes later, you wake up slightly to kisses on your hand.
your eyes flutter open, but a hand is covering your eyes. "are y'awake baby?" you nod a bit. "okay, i'm covering y'eyes because we're here. i want you to keep your eyes closed and i'll help you get out of the car, okay?" he says softly before kissing your hand again.
you nod again. "promise." he takes his hand off your eyes, and just like you promised, you kept your eyes closed. you heard his door open and quickly run to your side, opening your door now. he grabbed your hand, still making sure your eyes were closed, as he went behind you, pushing your back against his chest as his hand once again makes its way to your eyes. he begins walking slowly and then stops.
he takes his hand off your eyes. "don't open them yet. i need you to know i've never done this for any girl before, or anyone actually. i know i'm a bitch sometimes but y'the sweetest girl i know. chris 'n nick helped me with this. y'can open your eyes now." his speech came out a bit shaky, almost like he was nervous. you've never heard this tone from him before, but your heart fluttered.
you opened your eyes, the sun hitting them directly as the sun was setting. you let your vision become adjusted before actually looking at what was infront of you.
matt had brought you to your favorite spot in all of town, the spot matt had introduced to you, it was where the sun had set right behind the lake and forest, the view being perfect. he had set up a picnic with tons of bouquets of your favorite flowers.
your eyes filled with tears as you smiled big. you looked at matt, who was almost avoiding eye contact as he looked down and picked at his nails. "matt." you said, choked. he looked up at you before his face softened seeing your tears. "fuck- do you not like it? i knew it was cringy but-" "i love it, matt. thank you." you didn't let him get another word out before you hugged the boy, almost knocking the air out of his lungs.
he stood still for a bit, before relaxing into the hug, hugging you back softly. "really? y'like it?" you nod against his chest as he kisses your head before resting his chin on your head, rubbing your back. "cmon. enough cryin'." he says that, but makes no move to actually pull away.
after some time, you did pull away, sniffling. he looked down at your puffy face before he smiles, and you do too. "cmon, angel. let's go eat." he pulls your hand, bringing you to your pink blanket that you left at his house, resting on the grass. once you guys sat down, he thankfully brought his car up close enough to the blanket where you two would be able to lean back against the front, watching the sunset.
what you didn't know was the pics he had of the girl he saw right before he picked you up, in a pair of new lingere he had bought her in your favorite color.
taglist 1: @muwapsturniolo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @m4ttg1rl @lypsiiii @tyummyz @sturniqlo @emely9274 @shadowthesim @mattsobvimyfav @sturnl0ve @wastelandzella @fallininlust @chrisslut04 @sophand4n4 @vainilladollie @slutforchrissturniolo2 @ncm9696 @snoopychris @ilovedanielcaesar @sofieeeeex @chr0mehrts @cockettechris @iloveduckssm @stvrnioloslvt @sturn777 @priscillaog @allylovescody @sturniolo101 @mattssslutbby @mattybsgroupie @mattysketchup @m11rx @slut4brunettes @trevorsgodmother @chrislova @slut4christopherr @sturns-mermaid @oopsiedaisydeer @conspiracy-ash @p1mpactivities @sweeetbabysblog @brooklyncameron @chrisgetsmewetter @h3arts4harry @jetaimevous @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @raesturns @sturnsrecord @matteatmeout @luvvs4chriss comment to be added or removed.
#alexis talks#alexis shut up#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo fic#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matthew bernard sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#nicolas antonio sturniolo#=teenagedirtbag!matt#=innocent!reader#sturnslutz
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"its not too late to admit you love me,, 3.6k words synopsis: long having thought your love was unrequited ,you think its time to move on and seek help from the man causing the issue in the first place not knowing the storm this brews within him contains: angst -> fluff lnds zayne x mc!reader ,mutual pining but u both are kind of dumb ,caleb mention ,"unrequited" love (but not rly bc its mutual?) -> requited ,dates ,yearner!reader ,angst (self-inflicted on both ends) ,light teasing ,romantic gestures (zayne) ,night stroll ,confession ,playful banter ,um i think thats it note: (unedited!) happy valentines day~ im working on another fic that will hopefully also get out today bc its vday themed n silly....
-
"i think im going to confess to caleb."
zayne felt his world stop when you'd spoken those words to him oh-so casually, seated on the couch of his house as you had many times before, sipping on a cup of tea he'd brewed for you to chase away the cold of the outdoors.
he blinks once, staring down at you for a moment. your gaze was trained on the tea in the mug, watching the steam rise and breathing in the fragrant scent, allowing it to fill your senses in an attempt to calm your beating heart.
zayne takes a seat on the left-most side of the sofa, leaving a middle cushion space between you both, setting his own mug of tea down on the nearby coffee table beside a plate of cookies he'd grabbed for the both of you to snack on.
despite the storm of thoughts brewing in his mind, his expression remains neutral.
"i see."
a simple answer, the only one that he can conjure up in the moment.
you peek up at him trying to catch any hint of his feelings in those captivating eyes of his.
"what... do you think?"
"should i be the one to have an opinion on this?"
"well, do you think he'll... reciprocate?"
"is that not the reason you're confessing in the first place?"
you let out a frustrated groan. an amused grin ghosts the corners of zayne's lips.
"zayyyne, don't tease me right now, i'm serious!"
he resists the urge to laugh at the cute expression on your face. you really never changed.
"well, is there something that pushed you to make the decision like this?"
sheepish, you look back down at the tea in your hands, feeling the warmth seep through your hands, kicking your feet back and forth beneath you, lightly hitting the soft material beneath you.
"i just thought... its been long enough, you know?"
he tilts his head at a slight angle, reaching for a cookie on the small plate and taking a bite, seemingly losing himself in thought.
sure, he'd noticed. its not something that he particularly found to be a secret, even without you directly telling him of your attraction to the kind, doting boy you'd grown up with.
but he wasn't sure that you'd ever act on it.
thanks to that, he thought he'd had more than enough time to will himself to be honest with you...
but today, it seems that time had run out.
"have you thought about the method? even if its something one could say at any time, the execution is what you're also worried about, no? not to mention the timing."
given his logical side, you had trouble deciding whether opening up to zayne really was the best option (that, and your lingering feelings for him welling deep within you heart), but listening to his words, you remember why no one else could help as much as him in the first place.
"wow zayne, have you confessed to someone or something? is this something i dont know about?"
he scoffs, eyes lingering on your for a moment before they shift elsewhere in the room.
"hardly. it just seems like the most logical things one might be concerned with in this sort of situation. not to mention," he leans forward, reaching for another cookie.
"i know you."
your heart jumps in your chest.
you watch the doctor before you casually consume another sweet cookie, and when he looks over again, you hastily shift your gaze, taking another sip of the tea in your hands.
"right," you murmur once you let the liquid rush down your throat.
"i'm not sure how much assistance i can offer you, but granted thats what you're asking..."
"i'll pay you in one, no, two boxes of macarons! and.. the next time we go to that cafe, it'll be my treat!"
you're suddenly full of energy again, eyes wide and pleading as you negotiate with zayne, his slightly narrowed eyes staring back.
how could he ever deny you anything when you ask like that?
he huffs out a breath through his nose, reaching for the teacup.
"i'll see what i can do."
he watches you over the rim of the cup as you cheer, expression bright as you finally reach over and shove one of the cookies into your own mouth in triumph, a couple of crumbs sticking to the edges of your lips.
you don't notice the pointed stare, and he's grateful you seem distracted enough to not have caught onto the slightly-off tone of his voice or the sight of his thoughts running rampant through his brain.
the price of your happiness this time tasted bitter on his tongue, no matter how many sweet cookies he tried ridding it with.
-
zayne's thoughts lingered on that conversation as he types on his computer in his office the following day.
it was silly, wasn't it? thinking so much about this sort of thing.
it didn't seem to be in zayne's character, but really, he found these new sides of himself thanks to you.
it always led back to you.
he thought about you, the way you were never afraid to speak and tease him like you would anyone else, taking the time to get acquainted with him back then despite how reserved he was.
and yet...
he thought about how he was a stark contrast to the pilot of your affections, caleb.
even back then, zayne didn't doubt caleb's fondness for you.
he didn't think you really needed his help if you wanted to confess to him that badly. but he didn't tell you that.
instead, he used this as an excuse to spend what time he thought he had left with you before it would inevitably be taken up by the love from your childhood.
-
you felt... conflicted.
was this really what you wanted, or only what you thought you wanted?
for as long as you could remember, you had been taken with zayne.
something about the stark contrast to your familiar companion caleb intrigued you, and you quickly formed a friendship with him, whether he wanted to or not.
thinking back, you wonder if you actually forced it on him.
he never really denied you of what you wished to do, always letting you take the lead and allowing you entry into his life after you had barged in through the shut door.
maybe... there was never a chance for you.
you heave out a long sigh, flipping another page of the scrapbook filled with pictures of the three of you.
your eyes trail over a picture of you, caleb and zayne together. it was a bright day when you all played together, and you don't really remember who it was that took the picture. you're the only one not looking at the camera, gaze trained elsewhere while caleb is beaming a radiant closed-eyed smile and zayne his usual reserved expression, eyes wide under his large glasses.
your eyes linger on the young zayne for awhile, subconsciously smiling to yourself. he actually was quite camera shy, but never turned down taking a picture with you.
(you didn't know it, but he wanted to immortalize those memories, and it was something that he often looked back on in the time you two had lost contact).
your eyes then trail over to the young caleb, your gege that you had grown up with, the one who probably knew you better than anyone else in the world.
he was bright, thoughtful, and though he always teased you, you knew it came from a place of care and affection for you.
the thought of confessing to him made you nervous, but not in the same way you felt when you'd think about the same scenario happening with zayne.
so, were you really going to go through with this? or were you just trying to convince yourself that you had to get over yourself when it came to zayne?
you close the memory book, face planting into the pillows of your bed with a groan.
what a dream it would be if zayne li could ever think of you as something other than a childhood nuisance, you thought.
-
the more you prepared, the less you wanted to go through with it.
sure, caleb was everything anyone could want, not to mention attractive to anyone that took one glance at him, but could you really see yourself with him? after fantasizing about what it'd like to be by zayne's side, pulled into his embrace, graced by his affections?
despite this, you still spent the time with zayne, because how could you ever pass up an opportunity with him, as busy as he was?
you learned just how romantic the doctor could be, and you were filled with both giddiness and feelings of envy at the thought of someone else seeing this side of him for real.
tonight was the third "date" (as you liked to imagine them in your head, knowing full-well you were the only one who thought as such) he'd taken you onâ a sort of "practice," as he called itâ while telling you about what night dates might entail. the other two he had taken you on were during the morning and noon, his objective being that of showing you the different moods the date can create at certain times of the day.
it wasn't something you'd ever considered, but you considered yourself lucky being taken out to breakfast then the library for the first date, and having a picnic lunch and taking a stroll together for the second.
it was like getting a taste of something you knew would never be yours. the flavor of a dessert that wasn't meant for you.
it was bittersweet.
tonight, zayne had picked you up after telling you to dress nicely since he was taking you out to dinner, having made reservations at a fairly nice spot in the city. after scouring your wardrobe, you hoped the simple satin figure-hugging slip dress with matching heels and pretty accessories would do, not knowing how fancy the restaurant he was taking you to really was.
he'd opened the passenger door for you when you exited your apartment, something that he'd done the past two times as well, and allowed himself to get a good look at your outfit, feeling his ears burn at seeing you in such unfamiliar attire.
you looked beautiful.
when he made his way back into the drivers seat, he reached back to pluck a hidden rose from the backseat, offering it to you.
"for you," he whispered, watching you stare in awe for a moment before you took it.
no one had given you any flowers before. you felt butterflies.
"thank you..." you sighed, finger tracing the dainty petals.
"while simple, flowers can be a rather thoughtful gift to give to someone. often, they can relay messages without words, but it can also be seen solely for aesthetic value if the recipient isn't familiar with the language of flowers."
your heart sank.
right. this wasn't for real.
you hummed in acknowledgement, eyes trained on the flower to refrain from looking too longingly at the handsome doctor next to you as he began driving you both to your destination.
"by the way..." his steady voice filled the silence that had enveloped you, the sound invading your ears. you looked up, curious.
"you look lovely tonight."
he offered a small smile, eyes full of a certain fondness that you couldn't really convey from his gaze trained forward, voice soft yet full of raw honesty.
momentarily shocked, you quickly regain your bearings.
"take a look at yourself, doctor."
he grinned, amused.
"it's only natural to want to dress well when taking a beautiful lady out for the evening."
he hopes you know he means every word.
even if this is under the guise of helping you, he so carefully planned out these dates with your enjoyment in mind, having wanted nothing more than to indulge you in a more romantic atmosphere before losing you forever.
but you didn't need to know that.
when you didn't respond with another quip, he glanced over to you, catching sight of your sheepish expression.
"sure..." you mumbled, looking down at your lap.
the radio filled the silence, and you were only grateful for another sound to focus on besides your rapidly beating heart.
. . .
the longer the evening stretched, the harder it was for zayne to keep his composure.
dinner went smoothly. he made several points about this type of date, but noticed you asked far less questions than the past two times he'd taken you out.
once the "lesson talk" ceased, conversation and the usual teasing flowed easily between the two of you.
even with the various other guests in the dining room, its like his world was only enveloped by you.
he only ever saw you.
he took a sip of his drink, allowing himself to sink into the enjoyment of the evening for as long as he was allowed.
. . .
at some point, you decided that tonight was the night for a confession.
just... not in the way that you may have intended.
you think, after going on these "dates" with zayne, spending time together that was much more intimate than before did worse things for your long-lasting feelings, and if you were going to do anything about them, it had to be tonight.
even if he only ever saw you as a childhood companion. this might be the only way to finally, truly move on.
the night was still young by the time dinner was finished, and upon zayne's suggestion, you both decided to take a stroll around the area. it wasn't too crowded and was fairly lit up, and the weather was nice enough to take your time to simply sightsee a little.
how funny. the atmosphere was what one might call perfect for this.
conversation flows again like normal, and when a comfortable silence envelops the space, you encourage yourself to go through with it.
its now or never...!
you take a deep breath before starting.
"zayne?"
he hums.
"what happens if... my confession is rejected?"
he spares you a fleeting glance before looking straight back ahead.
"i wouldn't worry about that."
you can't help the pout that adorns your face at such a response.
"its always a possibility, isn't it?" you quip.
"i doubt it, in this such case."
his response is muttered, but you still catch it.
"well, what if he's weirded out, orâ or what if he's never thought of me that way? what if i've only ever just been that 'childhood-companion-turned-nuisance because of the way i forced him into a friendship?"
your voice is quiet when you let the last admission slip from your lips.
"what if... he can't fathom the idea of loving me back because of how he sees me?"
you think you've said too much, that its clear you're no longer talking about caleb.
you both stop walking. the momentary silence feels deafening.
"is that what you think?"
his voice is hushed, but its still loud enough for your ears only. your mind is screaming at you.
its now or neverâ!
"zayne, iâ"
he turns to you, looking straight into your eyes.
"i've loved you ever since we were children, even when i didn't quite comprehend the idea of what romantic love was yet. i have only ever had eyes for you, you're always on my mind, and i find myself looking forward to the time we spend together."
your eyes are wide as you stare up at him, heart pounding harder with every word that spills from the handsome doctor's lips.
"i know my timing isn't the best, but even i was unsure of the nature of our relationship. but..." his hand lifts yours towards his lips, and you feel a soft warmth graze the back of your palm.
"contrary to your belief, i don't think he could fathom the idea of not loving you."
when he finishes his confession, you think your heart might beat right out of your chest.
"forgive me," he murmurs, releasing your hands and taking a step back. you already miss his warmth, body tingling at the instinct to reach out and pull him close once more.
when silence envelops you both again, he presumes he won't get his answer tonight.
"its quite late. we should head backâ"
before he can turn on his heel, you close the distance, hands latching on to one of his.
"zayne!"
startled, he looks down at you, face expressing pure surprise. but he doesn't push you away.
"i..." you breathe out a laugh, looking up at him as you feel tears well up in your eyes.
"i thought... you never felt the same."
zayne remains quiet, but his eyes hold shock. you squeeze his hand tighter, smiling.
"i always thought... you weren't interested in me, didn't see me that way. all these years, i had willed myself to forget about you, to bury my feelings. that's where caleb came in, but..."
a tear rolls down your cheek.
"they never left. i.... i've always loved you, too."
zayne takes in every word, and wonders for a moment if he might be dreaming.
when more tears fall and you release his hand to wipe them away, his moves up to cup your face, willing your gaze towards him.
"do you mean it?"
its a whisper in the wind, for your ears only.
"yes," you breathe, one hand holding his over your cheek, pressing yourself closer into his hold.
he huffs out a laugh, amusement dancing in his eyes.
"it seems neither of us are quite smart in this area, are we?"
you sniffle before laughing with him. he swipes away another stray tear with his thumb.
"so, your plan all along was to make me jealous enough to confess?"
you gasp, turning your face away from him.
"no way! i stopped trying that tactic a long time ago when i realized it didn't work."
the pout on your face is palpable. he grips your chin between two fingers, turning your face back to face him properly.
"what if i told you... it did work, its just that a certain someone wasn't the most observant?"
your eyes fill with surprise again.
"really?!"
"really."
you huff out a breath of frustration.
"wow, this isâ wow."
he smiles, reaching for your hand and allowing you to make the move in interlacing your fingers together. you do so eagerly.
"come on, lets head to that cafe, it should still be open. i was promised a treat, after all."
you let out a playful scoff, looking up at the amused doctor.
"that was if you helped me to confess!"
"is that not what that was?"
you make an unamused sound in the back of your throat, and zayne only laughs.
"that sound is like the one the cat at your apartment makes when it hasn't had enough snacks."
"oh, hush," you urge, but only grip onto his hand tighter, almost as if to prove to yourself that this was indeed real.
a comfortable silence fills the space when zayne's steps slow. you look up at him, and notice him staring up at the sky.
"the moon looks beautiful tonight."
you look up in search of it to confirm his words, not noticing his gaze having shifted towards you by then.
"yeah," you smile, already knowing the underlying message woven into his words.
"so beautiful."
-
epilogue
"another thing."
your eyes flit up from your dessert to zayne's face, his eyes trained on the cake before him, dragging a piece with his fork, the sponge secure on the spikes.
"how could you ever think i considered you a nuisance?"
your eyes widen. right, you did admit that earlier...
you laugh sheepishly, poking at your pastry with your own fork.
"haha, well, when i thought back to it, it seemed like i was the one that forced my friendship upon you."
zayne tilts his head slightly, expression quizzical. you continue.
"i... was always the one dragging you around to play with caleb and i. even now, i guess it felt like you went along with what i wanted out of... obligation or pity or something."
zayne frowns at this, deepening at the edges when you finish this off with a laugh.
you peek up at him when he's been quiet for a touch too long.
"how odd."
you raise a brow at him.
you miss his hand raising up to pinch your cheek. you let out a small surprised yelp, swatting at his hand.
"heyâ!"
"you should know by now that i don't do things i don't wish to, nor have i ever been known to have many friends."
he scoops up another piece of cake with his fork.
"so, if someone always went along with you instead of pushing you away, it must mean they wanted to spend time with you, maybe even found amusement in the way that someone always went out of their way to play and spend time with that person, yes?"
he shoves the cake into his mouth as he finishes. you're left staring dumbly at him, swatting movements halting as you process his words.
he squishes the flesh softly between his fingers, swallowing the sweet dessert.
"don't ever refer to yourself as a nuisance again. you're anything but, and i'll prove it to you time and time again if i must"
he releases your cheek, retracting his hand.
"if i didn't make it clear earlier, i always cherished you the most."
your heart warms, and you reflect the smile that peeks through zayne's lips.
"i bet i cherished you more," you tease, picking up a piece of your dessert with your fork.
"nonsense," zayne states almost dramatically, eyes narrowing at you playfully.
you laugh joyfuly.
what a dream it was that zayne li had always reciprocated the feelings that you felt for him all these years, you thought.
-
a/n: this is my apology for the last zayne fic that i did not like n almost deleted but left up bc someone liked it. will slowly work on the rest of the event fics ,fear not (thought ab extending it through the month/to white day? undecided :x) have this in the meantime bc i... like this zayne fic the most
-
#love and deepspace#lads#lnds#l&ds#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#lads x reader#lads x you#lnds x reader#lnds x you#l&ds x reader#l&ds x you#love and deepspace zayne#lads zayne x reader#lads zayne x you#lnds zayne x reader#lnds zayne x you#l&ds zayne x reader#l&ds zayne x you
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I just love you | The Salesman x Wife!Reader |
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Summary: The Salesman loves his wife and sometimes it shows in...unsetting ways.
Warnings: Possessive!Salesman - Obsessive!Salesman - Toxic!Relationship - Manipulation - Short
Its subtle, you wont notice it unless you were looking for it, or unless you were like him.
The Salesman its never one to lose his composture, even less in front of you. The firm grip he has on your hand while you two take walks its only his way of being sure that you are still by his side and that he did not lost you on the crowd. Its only that.
Right?
Its not him being paranoid over you wanting to run from him. No that would make him weak and be a signal that he is doing something wrong.
What about these tense smiles he gives to strangers when they (oh casually dont see the ring on your finger) come to you ? That predatory gaze that screams at them to back off. Its him being protective of you. Any husband would look bad at other men flirting with his wife. Its not something that should worry you.
What you dont know if that some of these same men end with him. On a different aparment that you dont know he has. Playing games for their lifes as a punish for even thinking they had a chance with you.
And when he worries that you are going out ? With your friend wearing that dress ? He does tell you how bautiful you look of course. Anything you wear looks perfect on you.
Then once you leave with a final kiss and promising that you will send him messages that you are fine and that maybe once you are back both of you can indulge in some pleasure.
He is on the app tracker seeing exaclty where you are. If he had any work to do while you were out its out from his mind. He can picture you having fun, and really he has no problem at all with it.
But he cant help but bite is UĂQS at the idea of someone getting close to you. At the idea that something bad could happen. Does he sends someone to follow you and make sure you are fine ? No. He does not want a single soul to know about you, and he wants to be your only protector.
When you send him different texts telling him you are doing fine and even some pics of you and your friends he can breath in peace. Just a bit.
Its only when you are back at his home that he his worries wash off. He is over you kissing you but also looking for any type of bruise or sign that someone touched you. He would also smell you, telling you he missed you but he his making sure no male fragance its on you.
Helps you take a shower and then cuddles you till you fall asleep in his arms whispering non important things.
Another thing he does that you dont know about its record your voice. Specially during the moments you tell him you love him or tell him soft things. He would listen to them on his way to the first station and then turn them off so he can change into that cold persona that needs to be to recruit players.
Plays it again on his way home since he needs to feel more human. Like he is getting out of one disguise and leaving himself for you to attack. On a playful and full of good intentions thing of course.
The moment he has you in a hug he is letting out the day he had and just enjoying this moment so perfectly made with you.
#squid game imagines#squid game x y/n#squid game 2#suicide squad imagine#squid game x reader#Salesman x reader#recruiter x reader
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God i hate men who victimize and act oppressed. Tell me why i saw a bunch of butthurt men in the comments of this one video saying shit like "Opened up once.. never again." "And they wonder why we dont talk to them.." "This is why we dont talk about our emotions" like LMFAO WHATT For reference, the video was of this man sitting outside alone with a spool of wire, His wife said "What are you doing out here alone? I thought you were working?" and he said "This spool of wire has been with me for 40 years, and now its almost gone, look at what's left of it!.." and he was laughing and smiling. His wife had been filming him, confused on why he was sitting out there alone and concerned. In the end she said something along the lines of: "Oh, im sorry you feel that way, but im a little concerned because youre wearing your jetts hat and i thought they lost" and the man said "Goodbye" and rolled his eyes before getting up and leaving. There are MULTIPLE issues with this. The most prominent one here being the lack of communication on the mans end. She thought he was being happy because he was smiling, he didn't tell her he was out there because he was feeling sad or down, he just said something and she thought he was reminiscing. And because of this miscommunication, he got mad. He could've just said "No, i was out here because i feel like life has just been flying by recently. Can we sit here and chat?" and she would've listened, i mean, she came out there to check on him and was obviously concerned sooo..??
Also, people got pissy about her saying "i thought you were working".. LMAO?? She's just asking because she didnt expect to see him outside alone as its getting dark. The fact that she asked about his jetts hat as well makes me think he's done something irrational before when the jetts lost. I feel like men just can't communicate at all đ€·ââïž The men in the comments saying they'll never open up again over (1) issue is just sympathy seeking. They can literally find another person to talk to?? Think guys.. If you met someone who really messed you up, would you go looking for someone who acts just like them?? No. You'd avoid those types of people. So, it is EXTREEEMMELY easy for these men to just find new friends and people who will listen if they know who to watch for. đ€Šââïž This is so different from what women face, yet they find ways to compare us and see who has it worse despite the facts. Women run into evil people regardless of whether were looking for them or not. I was 15 when some 20 year old dude got into a relationship with me and groomed me. When i tried to leave, bro threatened to go back to the military and get himself killed. (He wasn't ever IN the military, he just wanted to make me feel guilty.) Little girls, young women, and mature women, will always have some asshole trying to get with them or some asshole trying to harass them. They cant simply walk away from that unlike men.
#gender abolition#gendercrit#radblr#radfeminism#radical feminism#radical feminist safe#radical feminist community#radical feminists do interact#terfblr#terfsafe
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please you canât mix a/b/o and LaDS. iâll actually keel over and die. ïżŒ
i canât stop thinking about it âŠ.
cw for dubcon kinda and rough sex. fem reader. psuedocest (gege. once shfjsjfj)
caleb in a rut. he grew up pretending to be a beta for your sake, taking as much suppressant medication and as many scent blockers as possible to make sure it was concealed. he wanted you to feel safe, to feel more at ease to the point he suppressed his own body completely
and then everything happens between you and caleb strictly forbids you entering his apartment during his rut. you donât know it at the time, but theyâre still permanently irregular from the whole soup of medications he took during his adolescence. so he has these crazy ruts like once or twice a year where heâs completely not himself.
you only found out he was an alpha recently, as in when he came back as a memeber of the fleet. but youâre partners now, youâre supposed to be equals so you want to help him thru his rut
caleb vehemently rejects you. of course he does. heâs not himself and he never wants to do something you do like.
but youâre stubborn and donât listen so you go over to his apartment anyway. his scent is so thick it permeates from behind the front door of his place. when he answers it after your persistent yelling - he opens the door and it immediately assaults your senses. heâs shirtless, sweaty, pupils completely dilated. his voice is shot.
âgo home. nowâ
he turns you away at the door. you get in each others face until you finally step on the right nerve and caleb yanks you inside and locks you in. cages your body against his front door with this terrifying look in his eyes, his hand gripping your jaw and making you look up at him âso fucking stubborn,â
you underestimate him when he says itâs bad. you dont realize how bad it is until youâre getting fucked over every surface of the house with little to no prep other that the left over, sticky spit from him trying to lick you open. he takes you first right by the door, your pants barely to your knees while your face is against the floor.
âwish youâd be a good girl and listen but you never do. maybe itâll be a good lesson for you. remember it carefullyâ
caleb is always so gentle, so careful and kind but heâs forcing your pussy open like itâs nothing. splitting you on his cock as you cry. and he fucks you so deeply and so intense right from the jump, doesnât ease you into it at all. he takes you on the floor before he helps you up and bends you over the kitchen counter, the back of the couch, pressed into missionary on the coffee table in his living room, on all fours on the stairs.
heâs being mean about it too. every time your pussy tightens up or clenches around him when he smacks it lightly or when he tortures your clit - he has this laugh that borders on callous. loving but humiliating at the same time
âno matter how much i stretch you open it feels like youâre trying to snap my dick off. do you want it so bad, hm?â
heâs merciless. heâs not himself. he makes sure you donât hurt yourself when repositioning but youâre so full of cum and so sore you can barely move without limping. covered in these deep bite marks as he just goes again and again. mating like youâre animals until he comes out the haze
âhow much cum do you think you have in here?â as he smacks your hip. âstay upright. donât let it spill okay? since gege was so kind and gave it to you.â
he has moments of sobriety. you can always tell bc he becomes worried and affectionate- lapping at your wounds like an oversized dog. but itâs shortlived. the cycle starts again and your pussys wrapped around him like a sleeve for him to fuck.
you donât get away from him for three days. it feels like your cunt is gonna stay stretched forever and caleb looks so sad and apologetic after. like a kicked dog
and as crazy as he is during - itâs also kind of . nice to feel how deeply he really desires you. the things he says during his ruts are demeaning but still somehow so lovesick and you kind of like seeing him let loose.
#return to sender#omegaverse cw#a.caleb#dubcon cw#pseudocest cw#CANT REAS THIS BACK SORRY IF ITS NONSENSE
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may I request for a poly rela with softie hoshi and dom wonu đ
I'm sorry this took me so long! I've had a stomach virus and haven't been able to write. But here it is !!! Hope you like it!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1709417f1225d4fac3414ef7c76c0a5b/81f901da277d0fd7-c4/s540x810/909f1514ebef893ce9ed9b596aec440070ab5b4e.jpg)
Dom! Wonwoo X Reader X Sub! Hoshi
TW : Established Poly relationship, Threesome ( mmf ) Double penetration ( two in one hole ), Unprotected sex ( Wrap it up kiddies ) Creampie, Use of restraints, Dom Wonwoo and Whiney Sub Hoshi
WC :2K
Your apartment seemed to still, the only sound's coming from your shared bedroom. Hoshi's sweet muffled whimpers filled the air. He lay sprawled out on your king size bed, wrists bound with silk to the head board, his cheeks blushed a pretty shade of pink as he whined around your underwear you stuffed in his mouth as a gag. He squirmed, testing the restraints as you sat atop him, grinding yourself down on the ever hardening bulge in his shorts.
"Stop moving" you hiss out at him. Hoshiâs breath hitched, his body immediately falling obediently against the mattress. "Such a good boy for me. You like being told what to do dont you?" You look down at him, sweat glistening off his forehead in the low light. He shakes his head yes. "Do you think you should be rewarded" You ask him with a sickly sweet smile on your face. This time, he tries to talk, whimpering muffles 'yes' behind this makeshift gag, his head giving you eager nods. You plant your hands down on his hard chest to help leverage yourself as you grind down harder "I dont know if you've been a good enough boy to get to cum yet"Â
Hoshi's eyes go wide right before a hand clamps around your throat. "Now what have I told you about teasing Y/N?" The silky low voice says in your ear. You don't hault your hips, not yet as you tilt your head back and make eye contact with Wonwoo. The smirk playing on his lips lets you know you're not in serious trouble as his grip tightens. "I couldn't help my self" you wheeze out "look at how cute the looks" your nails dig into Hoshi's chest as you let out a strangled moan.Â
"Yes he indeed is cute all tied up" Wonwoo says, his eyes racking over Hoshi. "But I'v told you before, only I get to tease him" It really shouldn't but his words excite you. His grip on your throat tightened just enough to make you gasp, your body humming with excitement. His dark eyes flickered between you and Hoshi, who lay beneath you, wrists still bound. âYou like testing me, donât you?â Wonwoo murmured against your ear, his voice a low growl. His fingers flexed slightly, sending a shiver down your spine. âSeeing how far you can push before I remind you exactly whoâs in charge.â
You swallowed hard, the thrill of his authority making heat pool deep in your stomach. Hoshi whimpered beneath you, shifting slightly, his skin burning under your touch. âI was just having fun,â you teased, though your voice came out breathless. Your nails dragged across Hoshiâs chest again, feeling the way he twitched under your touch. âHe looks so pretty when he squirms.âWonwoo chuckled. A low and dangerous sound. âThat he does,â he agreed, his free hand tracing the delicate knot of silk wrapped around Hoshiâs wrists. âBut you donât get to decide how much he squirms.â His grip on your throat eased slightly, letting you take in a shaky breath before he continued, âThatâs my job.â
Hoshi let out a needy whimper, his eyes pleading as they darted between you and Wonwoo. Wonwoo smirked, tilting your chin up so your lips were just a breath away from his. âNow I have to teach you a lesson. Think you can handle that, sweetheart?â He kisses your cheek. "Yes sir" you breathe out. "Good" he says before tilting your head down to look at Hoshi. "Now up on your knees" he says to you as he gets behind you. You obey instantly as Wonwoo reaches between your legs, gripping the waist of Hoshi's shorts and pulls them down, leaving him bare.Â
His long cock springing free, slapping against his stomach. "You see what youâve done?â he murmured against your ear, his breath hot against your skin. His smooth voice sends shivers down your spine. âYou wanted to be a tease,â Wonwoo continued, his grip tightening just slightly. âNow, letâs see if you can handle what that gets you.â You watch as Wonwoo's hand reaches from between your legs, his long delicate fingers warping around Hoshi's hard cock and standing it at attention, causing Hoshi to let out a whimper, abs tightening to stop himself from moving. "now sit" Wonwoo growls out.
His hand leaves your throat sliding down your body to grip your hip, helping guide you down onto Hoshi's waiting cock. He doesn't give you time to adjust or go at your own pace. The thick head of Hoshi's cock bullies its way through your walls till you're fully seated on him. You're breathing hard as you look down at Hoshi. Â His eyes are screwed shut as his muffled chants fill the room. "Now this was just cruel" Wonwoo says as he reaches out and takes the underwear out of Hoshi's mouth. The room quickly filled with his whimper's. "please, please, please" he chanted over and over.
"Well give him what he wants Y/N" Wonwoo says as his mouth comes down to drag along your neck. His hands gripping your hips as he starts to rock you back and forth, Hoshi's cock dragging though your walls. It's not long before you're full on riding his hard dick. Both of you moaning out as Hoshi's cock drags through your gummy walls and back. Wonwoo, is pressed to your back, his hard cock sandwiched between your bodies as his hand comes down to rub circles on your clit. The action sending heat through you and before you know it your body is tensing as your walls squeeze Hoshies dick. "fuck she gets so tight" Hoshi moans out.
"Yea she does" Wonwoo breaths out "Good girl Y/N. Cum for us" his fingers slow and pull away as you collapse onto Hoshi's chest, who is gently rutting his hips up into you. Your mind is racing you dont hear the sound of Wonwoos zipper being pulled down or his belt hitting the floor. You pay him no mind when he reaches out and tells Hoshi to spit on his palm. You only snap out of your post orgasm bliss when his large hand comes down on your back holding you in place while something prods at your already full entrance. You suck in a breath as you realize he is trying to fit his cock in with Hoshi's. "Woo' no too much" you say.
"You can take it baby" he says through clenched teeth as his cock pressed against you pussy, the tip slipping in alongside Hoshi's. You gasped, body tensing as you feel him push more, cock gliding along Hoshi's causing him to let out a moan under you. This time he gives you a minute for your body to stretch out around the two cocks filling you up. "You okay sweets" he asks, gripping your throat and tilting your head back to look in your eyes. They are clouded with raw need. "Yes" is all you can manage to get out. "That's my good girl" he says as he places a kiss on your lips.Â
"Woo'" You whispered after he pulled away "Fuck me please" "Always so needy for me, the both of you" he teases before drawing his hips back and slowly pushing back in. Both you and Hoshi let out an agonizing moan. Wonwoo began to move, his hips thrusting slowly at first, his cock sliding in and out of your pussy, the tip gliding alongside Hoshi's. Soon his hips picked up a steady rhythm. His hand reached down, wrapping around your breast, his fingers pinching and pulling your nipple. You cant help the sounds coming from your mouth, grinding down against Hoshi at the same time.
Hoshi's body was tense, his cock throbbing inside your walls. He looked over your shoulder up at Wonwoo, his eyes filled with lust. "Fuck her, Wonwoo. Fuck her hard," he begged. Without a word Wonwoo's hips picked up speed. You collapsed on Hoshi's chest, his arms coming up to circle you and hold you in place as the man behind you set a relentless pace ramming into your pussy. Heat pooled in your stomach as you took both cocks. "You gonna cum for me baby" Wonwoo said between each thrust. "Both of you gonna cum"Â
As he says it, Wonwoo reaches down between your bodies. His delicate hands cupping Hoshi's 'family jewels' and giving them a gentle squeeze. Hoshiâs breath hitched as he tugged against the silk around his wrists, his body archin as body tightened. His cock buried deep in you twitching as he came undone. Rope's of hot cum painting your walls as he laid under you panting like a school boy. It's not long before you're crashing over your own edge. Your walls contracting around both of their cocks. Your body convulsing as you came. "Fuck you Y/N cum on our cocks" Wonwoo grunts.
His thrusts begin to become erratic as you feel Hoshi's cum being fucked in and out of you. It's not long before Wonwoo slams into you with short hard thrusts. His strangled groans behind you and the twitch deep against your walls lets you know he to is cuming. "So good, always so good" he grunts. Each little thrust hitting that spot deep in you, sending a little after shock through you. After a few more little thrusts he stills. The only sound his deep breathing.
The air in the room is thick and charged. Hoshi lay beneath you, chest rising and falling rapidly, his wrists still bound, his skin flushed and covered with a thin sheen of sweat. Wonwoo's presence behind you remained steady, grounding. His fingers traced soothing patterns along your spine, a stark contrast to the way he had commanded every inch of you moments before. He exhaled slowly, his breath warm against your skin as he placed small kisses to  your should, his hands settle on your waist, possessive yet gentle.Â
"You did well, both of you" he murmured against your skin. Hoshi let out a breathy whimper, tilting his head to meet your gaze as your head rested on his chest. His dark eyes were hazy, filled with contentment. You reached up instinctively, hand cupping his cheek. He tilted his head, peppering your hand with small kisses making you let out a small laugh. âWas it too much?â Wonwoo asked against your skin, his tone gentler now, the dominance from earlier easing into something more tender. You shake your head "Never" you say. You can feel the smile on his lips before he pulls away.
His hands going to your hips, he slowly pulls his softening cock from your entrance. You suck in a breath of air through clenched teeth from the feeling of loss. Slowly he helps lift you off of Hoshi's cock before lowering you back down. You feel it, the mix of their cum slowly leaking out from your spent entrance. "Let me get a wash cloth" he says before he disappears into your shared bathroom, coming back a moment later with a wet warm cloth. Slowly cleaning your off as you whimper onto of Hoshi, who is gently running his hands up and down his spine. "I started a bath" Wonwoo says when he's done "Come on you two, lets go relax"Â
He hoists you up over his shoulder, his other hand coming down to take Hoshi's hand to help him up, exchanging a small but sweet kiss before he switches you to a bridal style hold. Your huge tub was almost done filling. Wonwoo places you down before climbing in, Hoshi following him, settling against Wonwoos chest before looking up at you. "Come here sweetness" he says holding his arms out. You take his hand, letting him help you into the tub, between his legs and settling against his chest. Hoshi automatically wrapped his hands around your stomach. His head on your shoulder. You were tangled in warmth and quiet aftershocks, you knew this wasnât the end. It never was. With Wonwoo in control, it was only ever the beginning.
#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen wonwoo#seventeen hoshi#seventeen hard thoughts#seventeen hard hours#svt wonwoo#svt wonwoo smut#svt hoshi#svt hoshi smut#seventeen wonwoo smut#seventeen hoshi smut#hoshi smut#hoshi seventeen smut#wonwoo smut#wonwoo seventeen smut#jeon wonwoo x reader#Jeon wonwoo smut#soonyoung smut#kwon soon young smut#kwon sonyoung smut#hoe42ho#hoefor2ho
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the biggest problem with my writing
it would be really difficult to explain the writing process chronologically for FFAK because its like. oh yeah mop was made as a concept in 2017 and he was made specifically to interact with dr slate after rock's death. i wanted to make a creepy janitor (a weed), former convict, that had some weird personal history with spoon. he would be determined to try to work with slate to get revenge.. i didnt know what had happened yet but at this point in the comic, im only just starting to draw scenes of them interacting. mop/nail essentially started as a side character for slate's perspective, obviously didnt stay like that but.. i mean, nail did not start as fork's fork. that just fit together somehow in a way where its impossible for me to think it otherwise, it might as well always have been that way. but nail didn't exist for the first three years of the comic and when i did actually decide on his character i basically put the spoon/rock fight on hold (again) to just draw nail/spoon scenes.
i can't say this was the smart choice or whatever its just what ended up happening. i think a lot of arc1 was built on impulsive choices like that, which comes with good and bad of course.. i dont write the same way anymore, but it still happens sometimes. gaueko/kamila were not meant to be a ship but their chemistry felt so natural to explore i decided to dive into it and let that happen as part of the comic. now in 2025, not only am i actually drawing scenes i wrote for 2017 in FFAK, but also finally drawing scenes in NRD that i also wrote in 2017. Not sure how it happened where i'd be doing that for both of them at the same time in 2025, but that's how it ended up. Its just strange how it did because its also so likely for me to end up going with a new idea impulsively (like making nail) that i put aside something else planned for the new idea (the rock/spoon fight.) Even if i eventually do return to the older scene, the order of events are totally changed. Granted, in the end i AM happy i waited to draw the spoon/rock scene, but not exactly for the narrative reasons - i just know in ch12 i was kind of like.. over-rendering everything in a way that i think would have made drawing that action scene a nightmare. by the time i got back to it in chapter 14, i had figured out how to dial things back and not over work my pages as much anymore. not that over-rendering made everything worse, but overall the experience of making pages was not as effective and draining.Â
Not sure where im going with all these thoughts, but it is curious to me that I made nail/mop about 3 years into making FFAK.. which by the time FFAK was that old, a lot had happened in the story and development wise for the story. When i think about it now, its hard to conceptualize just how much I wrote/made during that time. Now i feel a lot more conservative with my ideas and plans, but thats also partly because i am always accommodating FFAK. When there wasnât any FFAK.. that space to make a lot of things was totally open. I didnât feel restrained. That was great! But im very different now in every aspect of the creative process. I am very restrained in many ways, of my time, my choices..ect.. I have to calculate it with everything else im already doing.. In a strange way though I think I prefer it. I make a lot better choices for the stories, but they donât come easily or quickly which can be frustrating. Its just so different and i wonder if that differences are going to be seen and felt in this second arc as much as it is from my perspective? I donât know.. I still havent drawn it yet, so that part is still a mystery on how itâll be received LOL.. Just a lot iâve been thinking about lately. My (unfinished) fairy comic is already 5 years old now and im like.. What..? but its true.. I started working on it in 2020. It does NOT feel 5 years old. Because when FFAK was 3, it already had changed so much in that time. 3 years was like a lifetime of experiences for FFAK. 5 was even more than that. Comparing comic experiences doesnât ever really make sense logically though. They all have their own paths for growth.. And i see that more & more now especially with NRD, which I have never BEEN at a better place with creatively than I am now. Its like the love of my life since last year, which I would have never expected.. But that took me like 8 years to get to. Usually you expect the honeymoon period of a story is going to be in the early years ,when the idea is ripe and new and exciting.. And sure, NRD had that but its not like it is now. It has never felt more alive and interesting to me to work on.Â
Thereâs been a lot of years of struggle with NRD too, where I almost felt like I was wading through the mud and not sure if it was even a story worth telling cuz it just felt like it was holding me back, reminding me too much of my life i was trying to move on and heal from. But last year i had a breakthru and now im in a sort of different struggle with it where I dont want the comic to end anymore. I will try to though, but as its getting closer to it its like a mourning process has started. It both feels impossible to end the comic because of how hard/long is to actually draw things LOL but also impossible like emotionally to let go of. I made NRD during the fallout of.. A LOT of things in my life but also specifically a break up of a long term relationship.. Iâve been single all this time and now the comic is like. My surrogate boyfriend almost?Â
Im AWARE of this intense attachment to it and its like.. My comfort blanket that enables this loneliness in me to not do something different in my life to change that loneliness. Part of me feels like i CANâT yet. I have to finish the story! But thatâs not really it.. I think that if its gone, I wonât have a "reason" to enable my isolation, and by reason I mean purpose in a goal that Iâm determined to accomplish that is significant to me.. Which of course, finishing a story will always be one of the biggest motivations in my life despite avoiding it so much, as much as possible in some ways to get to the point and moving on from it. Sometimes its hard being so aware, knowing myself through my own art and writing that my biggest problem is not being able to let go.Â
#not sure where this was going at the start but it ended up somewhere else entirely#definitely very stream of consciousness that i actually tried writing twice but this is probably as good as it'll get LMAO#nasty red dogs#feast for a king#point is being SINGLE is DEPRESSING sometimes but i have my ocs and the ocs are also the problem. however. anime characters are sexy
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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(bnha manga ending spoilers)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1e41bc7ad00bdc18f36aa31073336eb1/add401e51a4d79f3-a8/s640x960/c36f37c6e7cf3243b825a2e382926eab289099b7.jpg)
what was the point
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d8271ab1aea605b930763d708bae45a8/add401e51a4d79f3-2e/s540x810/e817abf9f1df17053348798ca3781d6082da2c02.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d92cc2fdc1ea7f4155c02e2c25c077fb/add401e51a4d79f3-ca/s540x810/26f11ae772f1db1a36a8eba02e2cbc3e88976ca5.jpg)
what was the point
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f9c8ef398dee7276e0f7a91a6869a362/add401e51a4d79f3-b2/s540x810/64ad855847abe40fd4e1e7732b1c6cb82490a579.jpg)
what was the point
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/870ddede8beef7e32f5f8471e723b819/add401e51a4d79f3-8c/s540x810/e2d6c3856e2096afa93bc674ac3fa682c98646df.jpg)
WHAT WAS THE POINT
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WHAT WAS THE POINT
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WHAT WAS THE POINT đđ
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what was the pointtttt
#i donât have it in me to be more eloquent rn#just feel really disappointed and sad about tenkos arc and apparent death#what was the point of showing us over and over again the he was a victim and that izuku was so intent on saving him#on not killing tomura and rescuing tenko#what was the point of showing us the aspirations of him as a kid and all his tragedy and all the ways he was manipulated and exploited#all for him to say nice try i can never be saved and then deku killing him?????#for none of that to get resolved for society to move on from this war with basically no apparent change#besides civilians saying oh well pull our weight now âșïž without no resolution to all the problems that created villains in the first place?#and now tomura is gone tenko is gone izuku seems like a husk of himself but i dont think thatâll get resolved either#itâs just. itâs all disappointing. especially when the build up felt really good like we were going somewhere!!!#anyways. no one wins okayyyy#shigaraki tomura#shimura tenko#tenko shimura#tomura shigaraki#bnha manga spoilers#my stuff#bnha critical
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can the mtt commit more crimes that just murder please i know theyre the MURDER time trio but ppppleasse,,,, please,,,,,,
they'd be terrible to be next to on the highway. horror's going 160 mph amd has long past gone over the speed limit. dust's out for BLOOD and by blood i mean your tires. he's somehow sniping those round rubber wheels from the high moving vehicle with the precision of a master fruit ninja player. if your car explodes or flips over in the process that's not his fault. and then to make matters worse for everyone on the highway killer's in the backseat scratching up the doors and windows of your car with a knife everytime horror gets close to another car and oops he accidentally just disfigured your face also did i mention theyre all drunk during this
ok so theyve all got the classic face WHY DONT THEY ABUSE IT!!!! horror gets to do a little paper mache to cover up his head hole and then wearing glasses. killer i dont know what the FUCK he can do to get rid of his perpetual tears but let's just pretend that theyre conveniently gone for now. and then all dust has to do is put down his hood! anyways identity theft is cool. imagine how much they could totally fuck up classic's reputation with this. set up fake tinder profiles and then scam people for their credit card info/free dates (while ordering every expensive thing) and stealing wallets. walking into various grillby's's around the multiverse and telling terrible jokes. like ACTUALLY bad jokes. and then of course just being a huge piece of shit at the bar. god theres so many things they could do pretending to be classic. which one of us is hikaru looking ahh except the only difference between the three is the color of the stains on their clothes (either gray (dust) black (killer) or red. well faded red (horror))
ROBBERY!!!! ROBBERIES PLURAL!!!??? train robbery gas station robbery bank robbery GOVERNMENT robbery (what would you rob the government for?? documents??? idk) anyways. mtt robbing a train except its just a really shitty plan and they dont know jackshit about what theyre doing. killer's taken over the conductor's cabin and now he is booking it. how fast are trains allowed to go idk but the maximum. anyways meanwhile horror's on the tracks fucking up the rails with his strength or whatever (listen i know he's weak but picking and choosing what hcs i believe in is my art) and dust is there to teleport him away before the train crashes into him and turns him into a trolley problem victim. and then of course that shit doesnt fucking work and the train just ends up flipping over and catching on fire or something (killer survives because of course he does he's killer). and then in the end dust just has to flip the entire train over and they just stroll into the part that actually HAS the money
and then they go out and get ice cream. sometimes the murderers need to take a break from murdering and just do NORMAL crime yk???
#dragging this absolutely ancient draft out of the trenches because i've been having a scene in my head that fits this#i mean not REALLY related to this since its not a crime. more like him reckless abandon of life! their own lives! yeah they die#imagining.... trio driving around in the mountains. dust's driving ans horror's in the passenger and killer's in the back seat because he i#and dust just starts speeding up like...... much more than he really should be in the fucking mountains#and killer points it out and now all of a sudden horror is absolutely terrified LMAOOOO trying to get dust to slow down#and then they crash. but if there's no one more determined in the world killer can always load a save and theyre alive again#and dust is STILL speeding when they come back even with the knowledge that they die and horror's still terrified#but dust just tells him to calm down and loosen up a little bit!!! theyll come back afterwards anyways and they dont even die in pain#and after a few more deaths horrors just like. ugh. fine. you know what FINE ILL GO ALONG WITH IT#he says as he starts laughing along with dust because man!! the feeling of looking out at nature right before they die in a blaze of glory#is GREAT!!!! and then you know something something horrordust have trust in killer to bring them back after they all die#something something horror is willing to give up his usual reservations to have fun with the other two#and its so fun afterwards.... because nobody but them gets hurt!!! dust and horror wouldnt wanna hurt anyone after their au lore#and killer has no reason to in this scenario. so it all works out for them!! the only people getting hurt are them and lowkey they deservei#the sans in the au is probably sooo confused as to why the world is reloading even though theres no human doing so đ killer you GOOF#theyve probably all died so many times but only they remember it. soooo cute.... only they get to see each other at their weakest đđđ#killer absolutely abuses the save point when theyre all together i just knowww ittttt sooooo well#he wants everything to continue not restart or go back??? ok but everything IS continuous with these two#not like they stay doing one thing over and over anyways so its not really perpetual. anyways dust and horror would get bored along with hi#if they just kept doing the exact same thing over and over trying to find every possible ending. nahhhh#triglycercule this is sooo unhealthy none of them would do this!! ok well they make each other worse who said it was ever gonna be healthy#screw EVERYONE in the violet banquet discord server who indulged me in my trio waltz dancing in a field of flowers at 3 am. brainrot now...#this scene i described in tags totally happened in my trio meet each other fic btw. just that it hasn't gotten to this point at ALL yet đđ#tricule rant#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#sans au#utmv
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wears off in a month or so
#a doodley#talkys#as soon as i saved a single screenshot of silco from twitter it was over for me#it rly is mainly that and the ''gets overwhelmed seeing or thinking abt them and has to physically get that out somehow#or put pressure on the face or cover the eyes in shame etc''#i just added the 3rd bc just the 2 seemed so lonely#today i had to slam pause on that scene where silco lights the cigar in his mouth because i got so (embarrassed?) and hide in my hands#for a bit i rly dont know what this is#i still have my ken folder i have to delete it bc its never going to have that insane intensity again ykwim#like i dont think ill draw him again#so sad that silco is fated to this too...i wish i could actually hold onto stuff like this instead of burning through the Big Feelings#really really quickly#this is why im an oc and Drawings of Myself artist lmaooo i wish i could do fandom/fanart stuff beyond just Here's a Portrait/Bust/#Character Standing There/(god forbid) Selfship#tho tbf thats all i draw of my ocs too...#alas!
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â€ïžđ
#soft poolverine my beloved#I contain multitudes as far as trope enjoying goes (Logan likes Wade's yapping AND Logan likes to shut Wade up the old fashioned way)#(aka sticking his tongue down his throat)#(among other things but we're sticking with that for this one lol)#Wade is yapping about something#anything really because he can monologue about anything under the sun#and Logan just reaches over wordlessly and grabs his face and Wade just KEEPS TALKING#and every time Logan comes up for air Wade just starts up again#and Logan just smirks and takes a deep breath and goes back in#he gets some silence for a moment AND gets to feel that endless energy fizzing on his tongue#as Wade focuses his nervous mental energy on exploring Logan's mouth for a bit#you know they are SLOPPY kissers#just drool and teeth and tongues EVERYWHERE#I bet kissing Wade is interesting too because his tongue and lips are all ridged and scarred#anyway I just think Logan would shut him up once in a while for like hours long makeout sessions#and then peacefully go back to listening to him yammer endlessly about the minutiae of the My Little Pony Extended Universe#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#deadpool#kinda wip?#are any of these ever really FINISHED or do I just give up on them and move on đ« #also dont get me wrong they def fuck nasty too#but I think Logan âTouch Starved As Fuckâ Howlett would really revel in just being able to touch him lazily for hours#idk man I'm too far gone I need to be anaesthetized#deadpool & wolverine#deadclaws#wade wilson#poolverine fanart#deadpool x wolverine
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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ok. question.
ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?
#pulp speaks#Am i thinking of my âortega sees sidestep posthbâ fic again? perhaps#shameless plug btw yall should read it its called 'seen' on ao3 and i still like it#but anyway the important bits: ive been thinking about it with my sidesteps and its really interesting to me how different they are#but theyre all some variation of âi didnt know you /cared/â#caine is. uncomfortable with the idea#i genuinely dont know why but i do know that in the end their feelings on the matter are âwhats done is done and im back nowâ with a small#âill try not to leave againâ mixed in#meanwhile cyrus is a deer in headlights over it#itd be way worse if he learned it when they met again- i feel like if he learned ortega was still that attached he wouldve left and never-#-come back. he would still want to Now but hes too tangled in his relationships and ortega is his /friend/ and leaving would just explode i#-his faceâ god Damnit ortega you son of a bitchâ he shouldve just run. you werent supposed to drag him into caring about people again.#cecilia would have mixed feelings about it. i think shed resonate with it a lot for reasons she doesnt want to face#but it would also hit her like a goddamn Truck that he chose to move on/replace her rather than try get her back and its easier to get mad-#-about that than question her own feelings. but also maybe she could use this to her advantage? maybe this time he knows theres always a-#-chance hell come back for her next time. maybe. shes hoping there wont be a next time.#cynthias an interesting case because shes in love with ortega. deeply. but ortega /never came for her/ when she /promised/ and cynthia-#-is still furious about it#ortega hallucinated her in death but she couldnt put the pieces together and go looking herself? she cared enough to look for her but-#-not enough to save her?#she would still end up settling on bitterness for abandoning her but the information would shake her to her core#anyway. i think ortega should be used as a squeaky toy đ#caine lynzal#cyrus becker#cecilia rider#cynthia garcia#ortega#sidestep#fhr
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