#and i mean it there are no simple answers and there shouldn't be
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ephie-om · 3 days ago
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Simeon trudges along the soft carpet to answer Purgatory Hall's door. He vaguely remembers someone was supposed to visit, but in his mind's haze he can't seem to recall who. Between the endless explosions from Solomon's room and late nights comforting Luke after a long day, the angel was exhausted.
The front door creaks open to reveal your smiling face. Your smile quickly drops as you take in Simeon's state. He realizes how he must look. Disheveled clothes, oily skin, probably several stains on his robes. He's fairly sure he should be ashamed, but he's too tired. "I apologize, I'm not exactly... put together." He flashes you a quick smile, hoping to dispel your worries.
You tsk at him and gently push past him into the house. An alarm goes off in his mind, a bit too late, that he should be a gracious host and invite you in. But since it's you, he supposes, there's not much point in telling you to make yourself at home. He watches you drop your bag on the floor and shove it out of the way with your foot. You're looking at him, he realizes. Expectantly. "Um... I'm sorry. What?" Your lips twist (in what? Worry? Disappointment? Has he done something wrong?) and you let out a breath.
"I said, I know your roommates have been getting to you." He nods quickly, eager to show he's listening this time. "So I took the liberty of finding them excuses to not be here tonight. They're safe and in good company, but that leaves you here. Alone, with no distractions." You grin at him, almost evilly. "Which means you don't have any excuse to refuse my help."
You make quick work of boiling water for tea and running a bath. Simeon, having been sternly commanded to not help in any way, is perched awkwardly on a stool in the kitchen. He watches you rush back and forth between rooms, making sure neither the kettle nor the tub can overflow. It's almost amusing, watching you run about like this all for him. Yes, he thinks, it's amusing, and endearing, but if he thinks too long about that he might really say something he shouldn't.
You push a mug full of hot tea towards him from across the counter and stare him down until he drinks. It's warm, the warmest, sweetest thing he's tasted for weeks. He didn't even think he liked this blend. There must be something about your fingers making it that dripped pure nectar into it. He sips slowly, letting his tongue wrap around every drop. He wouldn't dare waste a bit of the liquid gold you'd given him. The silence stretches over the kitchen like a warm blanket and he closes his eyes as he drinks. Your footsteps fade as you go to check the bathroom and he finds himself missing the sound of your breathing.
He drains his mug and heaves himself to his feet. You meet him midway to the bathroom and place a warm hand on his shoulder, guiding him down the hall. Only his angel sensibilities stop him from stripping down as soon as he sees the tub. He sees a thick layer of tiny bubbles floating over the water's surface, and a gentle floral scent rises up to greet him. He swears he could kiss you here and now.
You face him, hand on his arm, and he finds every detail of your lips as you speak. "I don't mean for this to be awkward or anything, but I've been tired like this before and I know how hard simple things can be. So I wanted to tell you if you need any help with this, I'll be right here." You turn to walk out, but he catches hold of your hand.
"Please. It's..." He trails off, embarrassed. "My hair. I don't even know how long it's been since I've washed it." You nod and respectfully face the wall as he disrobes. The noise that leaves his mouth as he lowers himself into the water would be sinful anywhere else. He feels the tension is his back loosen as the warm ripples lap against his skin. When did he get so tired? When had moving a single muscle become such a chore?
You settle on the edge of the tub and gently tilt his head back. He hears you rummage around for his shampoo and finally smells that familiar teakwood scent that drifts down from your fingers. You work his hair into a lather, so slowly he thinks you must be trying to put him to sleep. He doesn't even want to look at what color the bubbles must be coming off his hair, so he shuts his eyes and leans back into your hands. You chuckle softly and rinse his head ever so carefully, making sure to shield his eyes. He hears a generous amount of conditioner plop into your palm and you indulge him in what's practically a scalp massage, going over his head with your fingertips again and again.
You gasp softly and your fingers stop. Simeon's eyes snap open in fear, imagining what horrors you could've found in his hair. "I'm so sorry, I knew it was dirty, I shouldn't have-"
"You're glowing."
"Sorry?"
"Simeon, you're glowing."
His arm sloshes up from the depths of the tub as he checks for himself, and sure enough, an ochre glow emanates from under his skin. "Ah. That must be a quirk specific to angels. It's entirely subconscious, because it only happens in times of utmost happiness." You smile wide, fascinated as he explains.
"So that means..." You trail off expectantly.
He blushes and settles back under the water, an excuse to tear himself away from that blinding smile. "It means you make me happy." he says simply. You're silent for a moment as you work and he wonders if that was too much. Your fingers caress the hinge of his jaw and tilt his head back again, and he opens his eyes just in time to be met with your lips pressed to his forehead. It only lasts for a brief moment, but he thinks he could live like this for eternity.
Neither of you say anything as Simeon finally stands and dries off. Neither of you need to. Your hand wraps around his arm and he finds himself not caring the least but about where you're taking him. The two of you end up on the living room couch as you painstakingly detangle his hair while a late-night reality show plays softly in the background. The manners that the Celestial Realm has taught him over centuries remind him he ought to say thank you. He takes a breath, opens his mouth and shuts it again, silently. The silence is comfortable. In a world where everyone talks and no one ever listens, silence is trust. And right now he trusts you more than anything else in the three realms.
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queenburd · 3 days ago
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it's not going to let me rest until i write about it, so tonight I want to talk about the TSP2 Expo in Ultra Deluxe, and why it's a thing at all, and what it means about the Narrator, and how deeply self-conscious he is.
The Expo is, and I say this without exaggeration, the Narrator's deep, desperate need to respond to the audience and the reviews from the Skip button ending. They say he's not funny; he makes "a whole lot of gags". He's still reactionary, he makes all of this in response to (and in my mind, in the downtime during) the Skip button, and it's the first thing you can find right after the game resets from the Skip button.
He's not over it.
TSPUD in general is in a big way about the relationship between an artist and their audience. (i swear on my life i've written those words before...) it's about how a creator can and does create for themself but does, on a real level, yearn for an audience to understand and appreciate, while also being scared that people wont get it, and also being scared about "needing" a reaction to begin with.
Create for oneself, sure, but you still want people to like the thing you made. You want them to experience it, this thing you put so much time into. You want them to laugh at the jokes, that's why the jokes are there, and you hope they hit right.
Elements of that have always been in TSP but they're at the forefront of TSPUD and especially all the Expo stuff. Even while the Narrator, in Skip button rants, berates the audience for wanting jokes and gags and bits to distract them, he immediately wants to please. He's yearning to be understood, and he thinks if he can just give the people what they want, then surely they'll find the meaning in his work.
And then there's that darn Bucket. And while the Bucket feels like, at times, a stand-in for the Narrator or a way for him to project, it's easier for me to see him trying to frame Stanley's bond to the Bucket as a parallel to his bond to Stanley, instead of the other way around.
Stanley is the thing that is here in this world and story to comfort the Narrator. But Stanley is also the thing that can crush the Narrator's spirit.
In the Press Conference Ending, Stanley's bold new approach to story-telling gets him lauded, gets him praise. In the Bucket version, he tries to make the Bucket understand him through other people understanding him, and it fails. It scans as the Narrator desperately trying to reach out to Stanley, even as he tries to get adoration from an audience. Stanley only has eyes for the Bucket in the Apartment ending; in the end, the Narrator only has Stanley for company, and he on some level wants Stanley to appreciate him. He asks for feedback in the Games ending. And while nothing will ever really make him happy, there, he still asks.
In the end, Stanley's the only audience that really matters. He wants Stanley to like the things he makes.
"Why did I create Stanley? Was I lonely?"
He was. And the audience he's looking for isn't one he can interact with.
TSPUD is about a creator's relationship with an audience, hoping they will play the game, and like the game, and understand the game, so that they'll keep playing. And the game "ends" when the creator says "okay. I think I'm ready to try something new. for real this time!"
And then he gets pulled right back, because the audience response is just so uproarious. How can you move on from a thing that did, on some level, garner you success? Shouldn't you just stick with the thing that made you successful? But how do you make it better, when it felt like a complete work?
When do you get to move on? When do you make that choice? Will the audience understand? Will they follow you? Or do they just want more of the same?
The answer isn't simple.
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grungekitty-77 · 10 months ago
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There is a very difficult line to walk between "Children aren't done maturing and you can't hold them too responsible for the dumb things they say and do" and "Part of being taken seriously is facing consequences when you say or do dumb things"
It's patronizing and ageist to dismiss someone's thoughts and beliefs only due to their age, but it's unfair to hold undeveloped children to the same standards of behavior we hold adults.
So when do you stop treating them like children that don't know any better and start treating them like adults that are wrong? When they demand respect? When they enter adult discussions? When they hit the age of 18?
I don't have a simple answer, and frankly I shouldn't. It's not a simple problem. It's just something I think we all need to keep in mind as we share spaces.
And to any kid/teen reading this: You have dumb ideas about how the world works and how it should work because you're new to it. You have good ideas about how the world works and how it should work because you live in it. You cannot tell the difference right now. You will eventually learn better, but right now you can't.
Understand not all push back you receive from adults is because they think you're a dumb kid. Sometimes you are just dumb.
If you want to be treated like an adult when you're right, you will be treated like an adult when you're wrong.
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slushycoookie · 2 months ago
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What's That Smell? ~ Logan Howlett x Fem! Reader
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✩ Word Count: 3.1k
✩ Content: Worst!Logan and Hairdresser! Reader. Wade acts like he's innocent in this, but he's not. Pheromone perfume. Logan doesn't go feral, but he gets there. P in V. Vaginal Fingering. Squirting. MINORS DNI!!
✩ A/N: I had to write about my man reacting to pheromone perfume. Enjoy!
Masterlist | Commissions
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“Happy birthday!”
Wade hands you a pink gift bag stuffed with sparkly tissue paper. “It's not my birthday.”
“You're so silly.” He waves you away with a sensible chuckle. “It's someone's birthday somewhere. Anyway, I saw this and thought of you.”
You pull out a small bottle of perfume decorated in a crystal clear color. The design looked oddly familiar, but you couldn't pinpoint where you saw it. “Oh, thanks. I've been meaning to get some more perfume.”
“Well, the gods answered, and as your friend, I am known for reading my friend’s minds.”
You're pretty sure Logan brought it up to him one day, but you didn’t question it. You thanked him with a hug, and he mentioned something about doing a fashion show for Mary Puppins when he left your apartment.
It was nice of Wade to give you a gift. He's always been generous towards you since you were with Logan, but you didn’t expect something like this.
You even mentioned Wade's generosity to Logan later on, who gave a questionable raise of an eyebrow.
“Really? He bought you perfume?”
“Yeah.” You pull out the bag and show him the bottle. “Wasn't that sweet of him?”
Logan squints at the bottle, still not convinced. “I guess so.”
“You guess so.” You rolled your eyes. “Can’t you believe that he wanted to be nice? He doesn't seem like the type to play a cruel joke.”
“Cruel isn't the word I'd use.” He grumbles.
You place the pink gift bag back on your dresser, reminding yourself to use it the next time you go out.
That next time was for running errands. You had to restock the kitchen, enough to last you and your superhero boyfriend, who loves to eat and drink, for a couple of weeks. Plus, you needed to get more supplies for the salon. Logan would meet up with you at the store since he spent the night back at Wade's to prep for Mary Puppin's first day at doggy school. You could tell from the brief phone call last night that he was worn out.
You throw on an oversized t-shirt, leggings, and sneakers. Not the most attractive outfit. Before you left, your eyes landed on the gift bag. Harmlessly, you sprayed Wade's perfume behind your ears and the space between your bicep and forearm.
Running errands was serious for you. You weren't the biggest fan of spending hours at the store, wasting time grabbing groceries. Logan agreed with you on that front, as he didn’t want to waste time either.
Once you stepped foot inside the store, you were ready. With a list in hand, you were filled with total concentration. A few minutes later, there was a shift.
You received a lot more attention.
Many people coming up to you to tell you smell good. You just started in the produce aisle, and four people approached you. It surprised you the multitude of compliments you were getting despite having the appearance of a bum. Others were making conversation while you were trying to shop, asking you simple questions about good salad dressing brands. Or how many spices you have in your home. Trying to get closer to you.
One man didn't seem to get the hint that you were busy. He offered to help you with your groceries while you were in the cereal aisle. Logan's favorite brand of raisin bran was on a high shelf, causing said man to grab it for you. You were polite, but maybe you shouldn't have been, as he constantly hovered around you. Drawn to you for reasons you can't explain. Talking your ear off about whatever he could think of.
“You probably have your own shopping to do. I don't want to distract you.” You say, hoping politely declining him would make him take the hint.
“No, no, it's alright. I don't want to leave a defenseless person like you.”
You hold back at getting annoyed, “…it's a grocery store.”
“Still, I just think-”
“You got cotton in your fucking ears?” In a blink, Logan grabs the intruding guy by his shoulder, effortlessly pushing him away. “She didn't need any fucking help, bub.”
The guy scoffs, rolling his hips to make himself look more arduous, “And who are you?”
“Her boyfriend, who isn't afraid to make you a pathetic stain on the ground.”
You knew he meant it, but you also didn’t want to get banned as you really liked this store. The guy took the hint, leaving the cereal aisle like a defeated puppy.
“My hero.” You kiss Logan's cheek and see him sniff the air. He turns towards you, pupils almost blown. Before you can ask if he's alright, he grabs your wrist, smelling the space between your bicep and forearm. The action makes you laugh a little.
“What's that smell?” Logan takes a few more sniffs, and you feel blood rush to your cheeks. “It's sweet. Really fucking sweet.”
“O-Oh, I put on perfume today.” You didn't need to ask if he liked it as he was glued to your form, sniffing behind your ears, his breath fanning your neck.
“Is this new? I've never smelled this before.”
“Yeah, it's the one from Wade.”
Logan lets out a groan that sends straight to your core. Goosebumps coat your flesh, and you shudder when his hands creep under your shirt to feel your bare skin. His touch was hot, almost making your back arch. You had to remember you were in a grocery store. There were eyes on you two, and you had to regain some control, or else there'd be two new names on the sex offender list.
“Baby, we got things to do.”
You pull away from him, trying to ignore Logan's dejected face at the fact they had errands to run. He hardly said anything else after that. He delegated his role to being the silent shopper, pushing the cart and responding briefly whenever you talked to him. To anyone else, he gave off the appearance of a man not wanting to go grocery shopping. You knew it was something else when you noticed his knuckles turning white from gripping the cart. Everything in your body warned you not to get close to him until the errands were done.
An unsettled feeling arose inside your stomach when the two of you were outside, a cart filled with groceries. Logan mentioned he brought Althea's car, which is one of the few words he's said since then.
He told you to wait in the car while he put the groceries in the trunk. You wanted to help, but he pushed you to go inside, almost gritting his teeth. There, you sat on the passenger side while waiting for him to finish. Logan was taking his time and acting completely different from your usual outings. At one point, you saw him with his head towards the sky, taking heavy breaths, hands on his hips.
You had a feeling this was your fault somehow.
When Logan got inside, you ask, “You okay?”
“No.” He doesn't start the car yet. You could see the veins across his hands when he gripped the steering wheel. “You don't know how fucking good you smell right now. It's everywhere. My nose, my head, my thoughts. You don't know bad I'm trying not to rip your clothes off and fuck you in the backseat. ”
You didn't know what to say, but you liked it. Your thighs squeezed together at how a couple of spritzes of perfume were affecting him.
“Is it that bad? Do you wanna go home instead?”
Logan shakes his head, “You still have to go to the beauty store.”
“I can get those things another day-”
“No, sugar. I'm not ruining your plans because of a damn perfume.”
Butterflies tangle in your stomach. This man still had ways to make you shiver. You just needed to be a responsible adult for a bit longer.
The beauty store was five minutes away, but being in the car with Logan felt like an eternity. His large hand rested on your thigh, creating heat through his palm. Your thoughts wanted him to go higher, near your sex, to feel how horny you were getting. The car started getting warmer too, sweat forming on your brow. If Logan hadn't smelled you earlier, he would probably have smelled you now.
“I'll go in with ya.” He offers when pulling into a parking spot.
“No need! I'll probably be a bit anyway.”
You rush out of the car before he can say anything else. Practically running inside the store so you can get your mind straight. Your boyfriend's words were hovering in your mind, and you resisted the urge to turn back around and have him go by his word.
You needed to calm your mind. Hopefully shopping for more supplies would help and Logan staying in the car.
“Now, what kind of man would I be if I let my lady go in alone?” Logan's gruff tone sent chills across your spine and his arm around your waist to press against your back. No words escaped you as he sniffed behind your head. “Say something.”
“Logan…” You let out a shaky breath, trying not to falter at the proximity. He couldn’t resist copping a feel on your breast, which made you bite your lip. “There are cameras.”
He grunts, burying his face in your neck as you two stand awkwardly in the shampoo aisle. Thank goodness there was no one nearby to witness it.
“I'm behaving.”
“Barely.”
When you were usually out to restock, you were quick, decisive, a separate list on hand to make sure you had everything you needed for the salon. This time, you were slower and more distracted as Logan was glued to your hip. Giving you extra hugs after picking up an item you need on your list. A gentle kiss to your neck. His arm possessively around your waist. The man wasn't even a massive fan of pda either. Whatever this perfume was had him forgo his usual self.
When people were nearby, he didn't leave your side. His large pupils were on them as if they were a threat as if they were going to take you away from him.
If you had any more errands to run, that would have to wait another day. Once you two checked out from the store, your man was about to snap.
Logan was dead silent when he started the car, his knuckles almost turning white again. The apartment was only fifteen minutes away, and you weren't sure if he would be able to hold on that long. You only noticed deep, heavy breaths that overshadowed the radio you turned on to distract yourself. You weren't sure if you wanted to ask if he was okay again. You had a feeling he was going to go true to his word to fuck you in the backseat.
Once pulling up to your apartment, you were ready to get out, but his hand held yours to stop you.
“I'll get the bags.”
“There's a lot of them, I can help-”
“No.” He cuts you off, bringing your wrist up to his face and taking a long sniff. You squeezed your thighs together at the sight. A whimper almost escaped your lips. “Go wait in our room.”
You had nothing else to say after that.
You did as you were told, sitting on the edge of the bed while holding your hands. Your heart pounding in your chest as you heard Logan bring the bags inside. You weren't sure why you were nervous. You were doing what you were told.
Maybe he told you to wait because the scent was becoming unbearable. That he couldn’t focus, or your scent was dampening his enhanced abilities. Did you mess up? All you did was put on perfume. Or did Wade mess up? Did he accidentally bring you something that affected mutants? You should’ve thought twice before accepting a gift from him.
Slow and heavy footsteps made it's way into the room. You watched Logan close the door and lock it as if there was anyone around to disturb you.
“Take off your clothes.” He starts pulling off his own shirt.
You did so, albeit a bit slower than him. Your thighs clenched as you knew your cunt was wet from all of the waiting, the touches, and kisses from the stores, his filthy words. Logan's eyes scanned your naked body when he got closer. You tried not to focus on his hard cock, red around the tip, cum leaking from it. You wondered how long he was holding that in.
“You got some type of power I don't know about?” He doesn't give you a chance to answer when he presses against your naked body. Heat coming from his chest that was making you flustered. “You secretly a mutant, and you decided not to tell me?”
“No! No, I'm not a mutant. I swear all I did was just put on some perfume-”
Logan silences you with a kiss. Hands on your sides while groaning between your lips. You thought he was mad at you, yet he was sticking his tongue down your throat. His rough hands on your sides. You hold on to him for dear life when he parts, sniffing the air, and you feel yourself getting wetter.
“Motherfucking perfume should not make you smell this good, Jesus fucking Christ.” Logan swears while he's buried against your neck again, licking and sucking along your skin. You whine at how rough he's getting, as if he needs more of you. “I won't get mad if you tell me you are a mutant right now because fuck…”
Logan picks you up and tosses you on the bed. You barely have time to recover when he flips you over on your stomach. A hand presses on your back, keeping you firmly against the mattress. His lips kiss behind your earlobe before giving it a gentle nibble. That makes you shift underneath him, causing him to shush in your ear.
“Hold still.”
You do as you're told, whimpering at the touch of his lips against your nape. A light kiss, one that makes you want to put your head back, which is followed up by a nibble. Logan does the same while trailing down your back. You feel his hands palm the globes of your ass while he does so, creating tiny circles with his thumbs.
You moan into your pillow, and you know you're embarrassingly wet now. Your cunt is pulsing with the need to have him inside you already. His fingers dip inside you, and you gasp in surprise. Logan's able to pump his thick digits into your aching hole while leaning over you again, taking another whiff of your perfume.
“Lift your hips up for me, baby.”
You struggle to move your hips as he’s still two fingers inside you, but he helps you, a firm hand on your hip. When he does so, he moves down to your clit. The two fingers coated with your wetness parted your folds, rubbing that sensitive bud. It was getting harder to do as you were told. Keeping still as he played with your pussy. Taking in how delicious you smelled with the perfume.
“Logan.” You murmured against your pillow, “Please…”
“Please? My lady's begging for me?” Logan lets out a short laugh, not stopping his fingers. “You want me to fuck that pretty pussy of yours, huh?”
“Please…” You were on the brink of tears, that familiar feeling in your stomach about to tip over. Logan didn't show you any mercy, making you sob against your sheets. His fingers rubbed your sensitive clit until you couldn’t take it anymore.
You ached for him to be inside, cunt pulsing for him to slip his cock in. Once again, the tip of his nose brushed against your ear lobe as well as his cock in your sex. Your body quivered as his chest was on your back, hovering over you for complete control.
“Think you can give me another?”
You didn't have time to answer as he started pounding into you. Sticky, wet sounds in your ears as you were pinned. Not having a single thought every time Logan's hips met with yours, mouth wide open as you were being fucked dumb. A hint of your drool staining the sheets.
The headboard banging against the wall, mattress squeaking as Logan kept going. Grunting in your ear, saying that your scent was even better after your orgasm. That he wasn't going to come until you squeezed around his thick cock. And he meant it when he rubbed against your pulsing clit. You shook, moaning at his touch and how his cock pistoned into you.
Logan was angled perfectly to where he started hitting your G-spot, causing your vision to get blurry. Still not stopping on the assault on your clit.
“Lo…Logan…” Your body was getting hotter, another climax on the horizon.
“You almost there, princess?” Your answer was only a whine, and that was good enough for him. “That’s it, that's it. Do it for me, baby.”
This orgasm was different. As you came undone, wetness coated Logan's cock, some dripping down your thighs and his own.
“Oh fuck-” Without warning, he shot up inside you. Grunting in your ear while his seed filled your cunt, mixing with your own arousal and trailing down your thighs as well. Logan lazily pumped into you to make sure you got it all while groping your ass.
You could hardly move with Logan on top of you. Thank goodness he didn't rest his total weight on you, or you'd be crushed. He waited a few moments before pulling out, leaving you to lie on your side, completely docile.
No words were said when he cleaned you up, towel between your legs as he kissed your forehead. You started getting coherent enough to realize the groceries were still out, but Logan said he already put them away for you.
With a sigh of relief, you glanced over at the perfume before reaching for your phone to look up the label. That's when your eyes went wide at the reveal.
Wade gifted you pheromone perfume.
No wonder Logan was acting unhinged all day. With his heightened sense of smell, of course something like this would affect him. That is definitely the last time you take a gift from Wade.
As you showed Logan what the perfume was, his brows furrowed in slight annoyance, calling him an asshole.
“But,” Logan folded his arms, glancing away from you. “I wouldn't mind if you wear this more often…”
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coconutdays · 4 months ago
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consume
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s. in a world of ghouls and humans, you've got a crush on a really hot guy with tattoos, but that doesn't mean he's a ghoul right?
w.c. 5.9k
w. fem! reader, ghoul!sukuna! x reader , fluff!, smut!, cannibalism!, gore!
a/n: this is a continuance on this thought of mine :)I just wrote this to get this out of my system :/ don't think I cooked as I usually do! but feel free to indulge in ghoul sukuna to at least scratch the itch.
"is that him y/n?" your friend's eyes widen and she grabs you by the shoulders, staring into the void of your soul "go up to him. now."
you came for drinks with your friends just a couple minutes ago. and you were so unaware until now, that across from you is the random hot guy you always see on your way home.
your friend, the one bolstering you to go up to him, has heard of this crush. considering you can't spend a day without talking about the hotness of this man.
"I-I, " you start to stutter, "I shouldn't. I see him all the time around the neighborhood and he's never so much as bat an eye at me or acknowledged my presence."
"and I do not care," she huffs, turning you around and beginning to push you in his direction at the bar, "no guy is capable of rejecting your beauty when its waved right in front of their face."
you hear her huffing and can probably make out how flushed her cheeks are from going against your planted feet on the ground, scared to go up to the man nearing you, even though its you coming closer. you feel your heartbeat quicken by at least 50 beats and the adrenaline from such a simple act is rushing through your veins.
until you're there. and he's doesn't even move to face you, his eyes just dart to you.
"hi." you manage to choke out.
he smells like like leather and stone cold vanilla. it's a smell you won't be able to get out of your head tonight.
he looks like he's about to sigh and say something to send you walking away, but you speak again before he can dismiss you, possibly, "I think you're handsome and I wanted to talk to you."
"you looking for a quick fuck?" his voice rumbles so nonchalantly as he takes a sip of his whiskey
"no." you answer in a heartbeat, quickly moving your head from side to side as a sign of your counter to the idea, "I don't think I would be this nervous if I was just looking for that."
"Then what are you looking for?" He's suddenly looming over you, body now turned to face you and his early stance of dismissal gone. although you don't know if that's what you prefer now considering this is so much more intimidating. he's squinting his eyes at you just a tad and you can tell he's biting his cheek.
"something that doesn't hurt me." is all you can speak into existence, softly.
he stares at you
he stares at you for a long while, his brown eyes so light, they're almost red. it's intense and you don't know what he's playing at.
he gets up abruptly, the chair that was beneath him screeching, face unnerved when he reaches a hand out expectantly, "your phone."
your eyes widen and you fumble around for your phone before planting it in his hand.
"what's your name," he says as he presses what you suppose is his contact information into your phone.
you hear a ring coming from his back pocket when you answer, "y/n"
"sukuna," he replies back curtly before handing you back yours and moving to shut off his phone. he then takes out a ten dollar bill and puts it on the countertop before turning to leave, "stay with your friends, it's not safe on your own out there."
you hadn't noticed at all that your friend had left you to talk to the familiar stranger, sukuna now, at some point during the interaction. when you turned around, your group was staring between you and the ominous figure leaving as if they were watching a thriller movie and needed a bowl of popcorn to shove their hands into.
when you were on the way home by cab that night, you received a text, that seemed a manifestation due to how hard you prayed for the next buzz from your phone to be from him.
it was a curt reminder that he would meet you outside your apartment--that he also asked for the address of--the following morning so he could take you out. and nothing more. it was so curt, that although he was still inviting you out, you made it your mission to dress your most attractive the next morning.
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you notice he's already outside of the door when peek your head out the door early, doubtful of how early he would be, which he was. sukuna had gotten there ten minutes beforehand, at the least. and although you weren't that mentally prepared to be out with him, you sucked it up and tried your best to confidently walk out the door when he noticed you.
"looks like we're both early," you joke a bit shyly, fiddling with the straps of your purse
"if you need more time you can go back up," he says, having straightened his posture from leaning against the wall and now looking at the busying street, as if to stay aware of his surroundings
"no it's okay, I've been ready for about half an hour now," you smile meekly in embarrassment
the comment makes him flick an eye to you, "should have told me."
"for?" you blink up at him, unaware
"for me to show up earlier," he clicks with his tongue before looking to the left and motioning for the both of you to start walking
it's about ten minutes into your silent walk to who knows where that you hear him speak again without previous poking, "you eat breakfast?"
"yes, actually! it was a lot so im still pretty full, considering the time."
"alright," he nods before locking eyes on something and placing a surprisingly gentle hand on the small of your back to maneuver you to your left, "it's here."
and the small entrance he guides you through leads to an immediate splash of greenery
a garden, a large one, surrounded by something you couldn't make out
"it's a bookshop."
and now you could make out the shelves through the surrounding windows
there's a number of different flowers surrounding you and you can't help but dash to a rather beautiful spawn of peonies.
"they're so beautiful!" you bite your lip in excitement, like you'd just seen a puppy. and that's when you spot a small pathway leading to a shrouded bench.
and you get an idea, "do you think they have Takatsuki in there?"
sukuna quirks a brow at you, "you like that insane shit?"
"I like creepy stuff." you blink at him, shamelessly stating the interest of yours
"come on," he juts his chin towards the far end of the garden, where the entrance was
moments later, you come out with a hardcover edition of The Black Goat's Egg you'd been vying for for months, purchased by sukuna, who asked, "that the one you want?" when you said yes, he plucked it from your hands and paid for it at the register.
"thank you." you say in appreciation when you set your purse down next to you on the bench, and flip to the beginning page of the book while sukuna adjusts himself next to you.
the handsome giant says nothing and instead drapes an arm over the side of the bench behind you and flicks his eyes towards the book, waiting for you to read like you'd promised so.
"you'll like it," you smile at him before subconsciously sinking just a little into his personal space and adjusting the book comfortably onto your lap, "ahem..."
you had been reading for about an hour and a half now, and sukuna showed no signs of distaste for the book. he hadn't said a word since the moment you started reading, listening and skimming over the book with you.
"mother's hands carved out the veins beneath his chest, not me. from her nails came the rotten smell of hardened blood. oh this is my favorite part. but I could feel the pulsing of his lungs on my hands. how his heart still beat when I had opened his chest. the breath of life beneath my palms, inhaling and exhaling. my excitement brewed, a woman's touch knew nothing of the enthrallment this brought me-"
grrrrrrrrrr
embarrassing
there's no way in hell your stomach just did that in front of him. you try to mutter a quick sorry and pick back up where you left off, but the moment you open your mouth again after the quick apology, sukuna interrupts you.
"it's time for you to eat."
why did he say that like you were some sort of pet.
he was such a serious speaker sometimes.
while you start to gather your things, sukuna already stands up and reaches a hand out for you to stabilize yourself on.
"I don't think its time time," you say while taking his hand, not wanting to go back to your apartment yet and finish reading yet, "I won't cook normally until another half hour from-"
"you said you liked the same type of pasta the guy was eating in the book right," he cut you off, levitating a hand over your shoulders that simply wooed you into stepping next to him at a comfortable pace while he moved for the both of you to cross the street.
"yeah..."you agreed, catching another whiff of his cologne in the breeze
and that's how you wound up with him ordering a full plate for you and a boring cup of coffee for himself moments later at a restaurant.
"you sure you're not hungry?" you questioned worriedly, eyes searching for any illness on him, scared to grab the fork before you
"I'm cutting, I'll cook at home." he shrugged
"cook what then?" you almost pout, feeling bad that you were going to be feasting in front of him while he merely had a coffee
he looked you dead in the eyes and said before taking a sip of his coffee, "steak."
"ghoul." you shot back while reaching for your fork and making towards the pasta
for the first time, you saw irritation on sukuna's face in the form of a twitch of his nose, "beef. steak."
he seemed so serious and you couldn't help but stick your tongue out playfully, "I know, but you might as well be one if you're that built from so much protein. heh."
sukuna let a tsk out and took a sip of his coffee, "eat your food."
you wound up getting walked home by sukuna later after the meal, a full stomach and new book, both provided by him upon your return.
"thank you again for the book" the corners of your lips quirked up a little cutely, "and for the meal too."
"you still need to eat something later tonight."
"I will" you nod and look up at him earnestly before reaching for his hand and gesturing for him to be level with you.
"goodbye," you land a quick peck on his cheek and let go of his hand, already rushing towards your building door and entering the code in as fast as possible. you couldn't look back, and didn't .
this pattern of dates repeats itself quite often after. sukuna's taken you to what seems like every bookstore in the city and purchased whatever makes your fancy every time. he's had you read for him. he's bought you every sweet and dessert you've wanted. he's brushed a crumb of a macaroon of your lips, carried you bridal style to avoid getting your shoes wet in a large street puddle, the most endearing things, albeit stoically, but
he's never kissed you
you think it has something to do with how stoic he is. maybe there's some sort of damage with him. he's so immersed whenever he's with you, learning and observing you, but it's always felt as if he's keeping part of himself watered down with you.
a hint of snarkiness has left him before, you saw so when a little girl in a park punched an older boy for yanking on her pigtail.
and he never takes you out at night. he hasn't specifically said he doesn't want to go out during the late hours of the afternoon or night, but he always manages to schedule your outings to end before so.
it's why you bite the bullet, and make today's lunch, into a dinner hosted by you, with the convenient excuse that your work asked you to come in for finishing touches on a project you'd be presenting next week and couldn't make it to lunch.
sukuna agreed with no qualms, that you couldn't see through the screen of your phone of course, and even asked if you needed any ingredients.
your chicken had already been in the oven for about twenty minutes when he had knocked on your door--you had texted him the code to your building earlier.
"hi." you breathed, opening the door for him to come in, "I put this chicken recipe I found online to bake. it's supposed to be healthy."
sukuna walked further into your apartment and analyzed his surroundings while you yapped away.
"it's probably not like the steak you eat, maybe less in protein, but I think you'll like it. I don't think I could make steak that good for someone else on the first try..."
"your hand," he slightly quirks a brow up and gestures towards your right hand, two bandages on your middle and pointer finger.
"tomato dicing mishap," you give him a sheepish closed mouth smile while raising your hand up, "it's a bit more annoying than a paper cut. bleeds more than one."
"I could order for here-"
"no! it's okay. I'm done anyway. I need to take out the chicken in a bit anyways." and you move to grab the controller to your tv, "do you have anything in mind you want to watch?”
“the news.”
you slightly furrow your brows, but accommodate to his request then leave the controller on the coffee table, "you see something happen?"
"just don't like not knowing what's going on," he huffs gruffly while eyeing the ongoing news report for the day.
"A ghoul has atrociously murdered and consumed various members of our community. last night's victim is unidentifiable, but his age can be estimated to be about thirty. surveillance cameras near the area show no capture evidence of who could have done this, but reports and evidence point to it being the same perpetrator of the last couple of murders this month-"
you walk to your oven to get the chicken out and start to put on your mittens, "at least it's not girls."
sukuna's eyes flicker towards you, interested in what you're saying, "you should be scared."
you're setting the hot pan on the countertop when you look back at him, eyes clean of any fear, "but he's been eating shit guys."
sukuna turns his body to you and crosses his arms, as if he's about to chew your ear off for saying that, but you continue, moving to plate the food for both of you, "all the bodies they've reported are all well distinguished low life perverts, some have even tried to chase me down when I say no. one of them tried taking a picture under my skirt once."
you place the plates on either side of the dining table for the both of you and sit down, "whatever ghoul that's getting his full with them doesn't scare me. we know he eats a lot, if those guys weren't enough, he'd go for girls already. and before you bite my head off for not being scared, you should know by now that I rarely go out at night, especially not without someone with me. now sit, food's ready."
sukuna eyes moves towards the dining table and eyes your dish a bit wearily as he slides his chair out for him to sit on.
when he sits, you speak again, "I got the recipe from one of those super healthy bodybuilders, so it should be good enough for you. plus, I'm a good cook."
sukuna still stairs into the void, where our plate should be, but he makes for the knife and fork you put for him, "thank you."
and he enjoyed it, you think. he didn't say it was good, but he finished his plate diligently. if he hated it, he would have said something, or shown it on his face.
"I'll wash the dishes," he said when you were about to reach for his plate and instead he took both of yours and got up.
"oh, okay," you observed as he turned on the faucet, his back to you, he looked out of place in the small spot, "I can start putting a movie, you liked when I read Howl's Moving Castle, I have the movie for it."
You looked for a response, and you received one in the form of a nod, so you stood up and sat on the couch, looking through your streaming services.
sukuna finishes faster than you expected
"I need to take a piss," he says as he walks towards the restroom
"okay," you responded without hesitation as you tried to restart the movie considering your streaming service was glitching on you and the movie was already in the ends credits--you watched it that often.
you solved the problem quicker than you thought, because when sukuna comes back from peeing, you've already got the movie paused at the beginning, waiting for him to sit so you can press play.
and when he does sit, it's at a distance from you, which you don't make a comment about because hey, maybe he's just a guy with boundaries.
and it's halfway through the movie that you have barely even paid attention to your favorite movie of all time. the music you always enjoy and look forward to seems to have never reached your ears. the funny antics by Calcifer don't elicit a giggle from you.
"why haven't you tried to kiss me?"
is he even attracted to you? because you have boundaries and you're a woman, but
you want his hands on you for more than just protection or help. you want to know what it feels like to sit on his lap, that you're sure is more comfortable than your couch considering how meaty and large he is.
and now you're in silence, even though the tv must be at more than the recommended volume setting.
"do you want me to?" sukuna asks, still watching the movie, but you can tell his attention is entirely on you
"I wouldn't be saying anything if I didn't want you to..." you breathe, cursing yourself for bringing such an awkward situation upon the both of you. the movie seems as if its not being processed by your eyes even though you're staring at it, too scared to look at him.
the need to backtrack overcomes you and you feel like you need to overexplain your lack of manners and how he should disregard what you're saying when-
he's tilted your chin towards him
and his mouth is on yours
its beyond sensual and you can feel your thighs shift against each other, but nowhere is it an intense roughness.
he's a godsend, you think, right as he pulls away and gets up.
you're dazed and confused as he walks to your door
"I preferred when you read the book to me," he states monotonously while he shrugs his leather jacket on and opens the door.
"I'll send for a dessert for you later." he's halfway through the doorway and his back is to you, "don't finish it all if you still feel full. your cramps get worse with sugar."
"my cramps-"
he shuts the door and you're left dumbfounded in your living room
oh. he must've seen the packaging of your pad thrown in the restroom bin.
later that night, there was a large helping of warm churros that a guy delivered to your apartment building.
you img_786 thank you, they're really good
sukuna don't finish all of it
you I won't <3
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and then he's gone
for a month you haven't heard from him
you shouldn't be rotting in your bed this often, but you are. you don't want to frequent out unless its with him. the few bookstores you did know before him, and went to after with him are sickeningly wrapped in the ambience of him.
going out at night reminds you that he didn't like when you were out at night, sending punctual texts about whether you were home or not
the walk home, where you got excited to even see him for a second is a disdainful reminder of him.
and you feel so ridiculed
the last time you talked, it was because you technically asked for a kiss that he ended up giving
but then walking away and going home.
it hurt your ego
you ran out of matcha tea a bit before sundown. it was a calming drink for you, something you'd been finding comfort it especially during this time.
so you left your apartment to go to the grocery store in your neighborhood. it was a weekday, so the streets weren't all that crowded, everyone was already on the way home.
it was a quick trip, you came out with a tin of matcha and a tub of ice cream, but the sun was halfway through its descent back into the night.
nothing would happen. ghouls don't lurk the moment the sun sets.
your apartment is around the corner when you hear a familiar voice.
"don't move unless you want me to eat your kagune."
why does that sound a lot like him?
there was a sort of mushy sound that followed, then a painful groan
or screech, you couldn't tell the the difference from how pained it was
"please sukuna! I-I didn't know-"
a scream followed, along with a grotesque noise
he said sukuna's name? is that-
"AHAHAHAA LOOK AT HOW FUCKED UP YOUR LUNGS ARE! BASICALLY SHREDS IN MY HANDS!"
it's undeniably his voice, but you've never heard him like this.
if you could just get a look, turn your head over the alleyway just a little
you almost vomit at the sight.
the man you had been moping over for the past few weeks had four large tentacles for a kagune, bright blood red and pinning down the man beneath him, who's lungs unmistakably were in sukuna's hands.
he was eating it like it was something easy, like a slice of ham
the other man-ghoul's intestines were spilling out onto the ground
and all you could do was stand still.
"I didn't know she was off-limits!" the ghoul cried, tears running down his half eaten face considering he was missing a piece of cheek.
"doesn't matter," sukuna retorted, digging a hand in again and taking out what looked like a liver, "what were you going to do to her huh?"
he took a bite and spoke with a full mouth in his face, "I know what lowlife creeps like you like to do to girls like her."
"and how are they supposed to stop coming if I let every creep that wanders near her live?"
and upon further inspection, you realize that the guy underneath him spoke to you this morning on the subway. he made uncomfortable conversation about your skirt and you got off the moment he started getting too close to your personal space
unbeknownst to you, you start shaking and your breath hitches
sukuna hears it
when he turns to face you, where the noise came from, his eyes are red this time, the whites blackened. he's breathing hard as he stares you down.
"go. home." is all he snarls menacingly
and no matter how hard you want to plant your feet and say no because you're mad at him, you run back home. the minute that was left in walking home became twenty seconds.
how you wound up at your apartment that fast was a wonder to you. but all you know is that so many things are making sense, but not at the same time.
that ghoul was going to come for you if it wasn't for sukuna. was sukuna the ghoul from the news? had he eaten all those men? god, you can't even remember all the times you've been cat-called or bothered on the street. how long had he been doing this?
"open the door."
you're back to reality at the sound of sukuna behind the door to your apartment
maybe if you pretend you're not-
"I can hear your heart beating, open the door."
"I don't want to!" you try not to yell, speaking as firmly as you can so as to not garner unwanted attention.
"if you open the door," he starts to speak with irritation that so tells you theres a just as irritated smile on his face, "I can explain to you."
"why do you want to talk now?" you stomp your foot on the ground, praying that the inertia stops the tears building on your waterline from falling down your cheeks
"open the door and I'll tell you y/n." he says, patience still wavering
he stares you down menacingly when you abruptly open the door, but you've got your own look to challenge, brimming with almost tears and an anger like no other at how he hurt you
"I told you to not go out at night."
"how long ago was that huh?" you retort
sukuna bites his cheek and enters your apartment, planting himself in the farthest corner of your living room to argue with you.
"you still know better." he gestures a hand to the window, outside, "I don't care if there's still a couple minutes before the sun sets. don't go outside."
"why not, you'll be there to eat anyone who lurks near me."
your nose is scrunched at him in anger and for the first time, it looks like he has nothing to say
"were you the ghoul from the news the other night?" you sniffle
sukuna looks at you with dead irritation, like he has a million things to say, but none at the same time.
"are you trying to keep me to yourself? to eat me on a rainy day, like a special treat? is that why you couldn't bare to date me? because I was just food?"
"no." he bites back, arms crossed, tongue poking through his cheek while his head moves to face the other way
"then?" you waiver, hands dropped to the sides of your body in fists.
"I'm a ghoul," his red eyes dart to you, pinning you under his gaze," you're a human."
"you can't stand that I'm a human?" you step back, hurt
it seems your words confund him to irritation again when he responds, "you just saw me eating someone's lungs."
"he was going to eat me." you reason
"you're an idiot..." he scoffs, tapping his foot impatiently on the ground
"then why are you still here?" you bite back
your retaliation seems to have set him off, because he soon starts walking towards you and pins you under his body and the countertop behind you
"I was born to eat you," he snarls close to your face, "I will find a way to break you. it's nature. every single day, all I can think about is how much I want to sink my teeth into your flesh. does that not scare you?"
"maybe that's because you never tried to take out your urges on me in other ways." you murmur defiantly
the comment makes him stand still, leaving both of your breaths as the only sound in the room.
"you don't know what you're saying." his nose twitches
"neither do you, you've never tried."
his hands are gripping the countertop so hard, you can hear a slight crumble.
but then sukuna's breathing grows ragged and it would have alarmed you, were it not for his following actions.
his arms brings your entire body towards him when he envelopes you in a nasty kiss.
this
this was sexual
his chest grumbles when you stick your tongue into his mouth and he sucks on it painfully
the bliss is so entrancing, you can't even distinguish the metallic taste.
one of his hands goes to envelop your ass and the grip he has is so strong and painful that you think he's made finger sized holes in your jeans.
the moan that leaves you is far too sinful, but he pulls you impossibly closer and grabs you by the back of your legs to pull you up. sukuna then starts walking to the only other door that doesn't lead to the restroom. to your room.
he'd just bitten your lip to the point where you're sure it'd be bruised within an hour when he threw you onto the bed and yanked your pants off. you don't know if he tore them off or genuinely took them off, but all you know is that the sight when he takes off his shirt next is magnetizing. his body is sculpted and defined everywhere, his pecs are huge, his abs scrumptiously lining his abdomen, and his v-line makes you eager to jump on top of him.
but his tattoos, they're the cherry on top. there's two ragged lines, almost as if fangs scraping down his abdomen, and they seem as if they have brothers and sisters reaching to do the same down his pecs and on the small of his neck. you know about the others on his arms, but not these.
"take off your shirt before I rip it off and you start whining about it." he growls while he fiddles with his belt to push down his pants
you follow orders, no care for if he did rip your shirt (in the moment), but eager to have him
the hard on you're greeted with is just below terrifying.
were all ghouls this gifted?
you have a feeling this was just sukuna
"still feel like you can take it." sukuna snarls as he pushes you further up the bed and positions himself between your legs.
you don't even get a chance to make a comment on what he's about to so intimately do before he tears through the fabric separating your pussy from the outside and delves in without so much as a second thought.
not even ten seconds in and your legs are shaking furiously, with no stop to it so as long as he was on top of you
his tongue is penetrating you so deeply and you don't even have time to question if that's a biological feature on ghouls. all you know is that's it's wet and oh so stimulating, so much so, you're screaming and whining
there's no words you can say, you're screaming so much from the pleasure that you instinctively start to pull away from him, but he growls and keeps you in place
oh
he's been staring at you this entire time
with those eyes
mercy be
it's just enough to drag you to the tipping point and your relief washes over you and him, while he drinks it all up ferociously.
you think he's going to stop when it feels like he's licked you clean from your mess
until he doesn't
he goes on
and he goes on for what seems like an hour
you feel you've gone insane, you can't even count how many times he's made you cum since. you've never been destroyed this way.
your voice is gone when he comes up and stares at you, caging you between his arms.
you're not going to tap out, you try to say with your eyes
and he understands, as it seems, hiking up both of your legs to your chest and beginning to run his fat tip across your folds
"remember, you asked for this." sukuna mutters meanly when he pushes in in one go
you thought it was a lie when some girls said their boyfriends were so big, that they could feel their veins rubbing against their insides
it wasn't
even his tip is being molded to by your pussy
"oh my god," you moan painfully, "I can't-i'm gonna-"
"you can," he retorts, starting to pull back and the mere drag has you keening
you think you have the same effect, considering how labored his breathing has gotten and there's nothing left for you to do besides pull him in for a kiss to sedate yourself from the intensity happening below
the single beginning of the contact illicits sukuna's start of a ruthless pace
your moans seem to make him suck on your tongue punishingly every time. and your hands can't find nothing else to do besides drag painfully down his back. you think you might have just hurt your own hands from how hard his skin is.
sukuna stops kissing you while he pummels inside of you to speak
"scream for me."
command or not, you were still doing so
"filthy little slut," he groans through each stroke, "tightest fucking pussy I've ever fucked."
"pussy's fucking mine, you're never going to touch anyone else. if you even try, I'll kill them."
he keeps going like this, on and on and all you can do is nod and agree with everything he says, because let's be honest, who were you to even glance at someone else after this?
you notice purple indents forming where his hands are on your thighs when he leans down to your face and says, "whaddya say princess, you like being mine?"
"mhm," you nod ernestly, and gather the courage to speak, even if it is hoarse, "love it so much sukuna."
"gonna blow a huge fucking load in your pussy," he murmurs to himself more than anything
"plea-please." you moan needing to be as close to him as possible, feeling an idea surface to your mind
"bite me."
if sukuna weren't so depraved and lost in you, he would have stopped. but he keeps going and instead leans closer to hear you
"bite me," you breathe, almost screaming at the end, "just enough for it not to scar."
sukuna keeps staring at you while he destroys your insides, giving no indication as to if he was going to do follow through with your wishes, until he leans down to your chest
you scream in pain and a delicious ecstasy
there's a small little pool of blood coming from your skin and his mouth when you look down. his hips start stuttering too, and it makes you think that this might be his tipping point.
you're so fucked up that it's yours too
before you know it, his pace grows so erratic that you start cumming and pulsating around him sporadically, unable to contain yourself from the pleasure.
and he starts cumming too.
sukuna lifts himself up from your chest and captures your mouth in his, making you taste a part of yourself you never thought you would. he grows weak in the kiss too, while his cum seeps out and pools into you. it lets you nibble on his tongue, an action that him sinking into your body while he gives you a last few weak thrusts.
"ow," you giggle after a moment of silence
sukuna brings his head up quickly, eyes slightly wide and in worry
"how am I gonna wear a bra over that," you laugh, observing the bleeding bite mark over your boob
sukuna looks down at it, "just don't wear one."
"boobs bring perverts."
sukuna rolls his eyes in exhaustion and dips his head into your chest, licking your wound, "you're not going anywhere without me there anyway."
2K notes · View notes
shaisuki · 4 months ago
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can u write smth for sae!!!!!!
“does it bother you that i'm your girlfriend, sae?
the older itoshi glances at his girlfriend below him. he's half-naked. his shirt already discarded moments ago and he's ready to pounce on you and the question popped. his teal colored eyes narrows down at you. a scowl in his face present at your question and you bit your lip. regretting the question. it wasn't intentional and you just blurted it out.
does it bother the itoshi sae that you are his girlfriend. the answer is no. it is that simple. no buts. no what ifs. pure and straight. no. it doesn't bother him that he's girlfriend is big despite his much leaner build than yours. he's all muscles and you're soft. he loves that for you and if it bothers him that much that you are his girlfriend, he shouldn't have asked you to be his in the first place. he got only two things in his mind. soccer and his girlfriend. the rest doesn't matter and his time is that valuable to waste it for something he doesn't want.
“good thing you're adorable.” he deadpans. a faint twitch in his lips while he reach to cup your round cheek in his palm. amused at the musings of his girlfriend below him. “no. it doesn't bother me.” he answers you and he's placing a chaste kiss to your lips and then another until his lips are moving to yours and then kissing under your chin until he got lower and lower.
“sae!” you gasped at the sensation of his hot breath fanning the inside of your thick thighs. his fingers cold making you shiver at the coldness of his fingers. “you're starting to ask stupid questions. i ought to shut you up or i get to make a use of your mouth to get it occupied. shut up and let me do my business here.” his voice cold and how could there be warmth on his voice. you ask yourself but you were literally stopped when his tongue took a long lick between your folds. your body jerking backwards and sae grips your thighs to avoid you from running away from him.
it doesn't took long for you to shut up and only call his name. chanting it over and over again while he greedily laps the juices coming out from your fat cunt. your hole weeping with need and sae is skillful with his tongue. you didn't even realize that your legs is clamping his head but sae paid it no mind. too focused and occupied to get more of that sweet juices of yours flowing from your aching hole.
it's hard to belief that one of the most valuable player of real madrid is in between your legs. licking your pussy back and forth when sae can't be bothered to smile at the cameras pointed at him. you have never seen him so satisfied not until he's in-between your legs. a man who's cravings have been satiated.
“sae, i-m cum—” your boyfriend disconnects his mouth to your sticky folds before you can cum earning a dissatisfied whine from you. “this is what you get when you ask me stupid questions.”
“so mean.” you muttered and sae doesn't missed that. “i'll show you mean.” he says and since that you never asked questions that sae seems as stupid. you learned it after being edged. crying your eyes out and begging for him to make you cum.
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ennn · 23 days ago
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Let's appreciate how complex Agatha's relationship with Billy is
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GIF credit to @isagrimorie
The genuine emotion brimming from Agatha in this moment is very interesting and I really want to break down all the layers of how Agatha is relating to Billy—because it is truly not as simple as Agatha feeling sentimental or motherly to Billy.
There are a few layers at work here (and I also want to give a shout-out to @trickofthelights for her excellent recap points):
Billy reminds Agatha (enough) of herself
There are two driving forces at the core of Agatha as a character. We know this because her characterisation has been incredibly consistent throughout the show and Schaeffer has talked about them, which is: (a) Agatha is self-serving and (b) Agatha loves powerful witchcraft.
Billy is a powerful witch who did a horrifying thing in order to survive. He's been lying to these wonderful parents. He also just tried murdering three people in a fit of rage, provoked by Agatha no less.
Would Agatha care if he was less powerful? Would Agatha care if he didn't have a dark side? If he hadn't shown to be duplicitous and dangerous and subject to his darker impulses?
If he wasn't alone and without a coven, a possible outcast even among witches because of his unusual origins and power?
I'm pretty sure the answer is no, she would not. She would have dismissed him the same way she did his "Teen" persona. Agatha doesn't care about witches, Agatha cares about powerful witches –because that's who Agatha is and what drives her.
And we also got hints of this with Agatha and Wanda (hello consistent characterisation). In Schaeffer's words:
There is respect and almost affection inherent in [Agatha's interest in enormously powerful witchcraft], as indicated by how she felt about Wanda. She was mean to Wanda, but really she was fascinated by Wanda and admired her and wanted to hang out with her. 
And if this wasn't clear enough, what Agatha tells Billy shortly later about breaking the rules and being a true witch just screams projection (more on that in my next point).
I was delighted that Agatha really did bounce back from the attempted murder – but it's not because she's forgiving. Oh no, I think, Agatha was testing her theory by poking the bear (calculated move, bad at math) and she's glad she was proven right.
I mean, she not happy about the attempted murder but her curiosity wins out. You see her poking at Billy and trying to figure him out in the rest of this scene.
Agatha also hates self-righteous moralising and searches out for the darkness in people – delights in it even – because she knows people and she knows her own darkness.
Billy is different but also not so different from Agatha, as much as Billy or his mom would hate to admit.
Agatha is dealing with her childhood trauma
Yes, Agatha is projecting on Billy, but she makes a choice about it. We hear her telling him what she would have wanted someone to tell her: that they shouldn't be afraid or ashamed of who they are or what they did to survive, that they are part of a community.
Don't you dare feel guilty about your talent. ... That's what kept you alive. That's what makes you special. That's what makes you a witch.
She's trying to be the person she needed when she was a child, because she simply doesn't want someone else – particularly a younger witch – going through what she did.
She doesn't want anyone to go through what her mother put her through. And that's a choice.
Because there are a number of ways a character can deal with trauma: they can lash out and bring others down, wanting others to experience to the pain they went through, or they can realise that what happened to them shouldn't happen to anyone else in their position.
There's something beautifully self-serving but also selfless in that, because this is a way for Agatha to heal from her trauma. She can tell Billy things she may not be able to tell herself.
And it's interesting because as a self-serving villain, Agatha could just be jealous of Billy's power. But in this moment at least, Agatha's empathy and compassion – as buried as they usually are – prevail.
And yes, Agatha was fond of kid Billy
This is what Schaeffer touched on in her interview answer and it makes sense, with the insight that Agatha – like any good actor – does invest a bit of herself in every role she plays.
Agatha does have feelings (as much as they might make her vomit) and I do believe she has a soft spot when it comes to kids, given her experience with her son and her own childhood trauma. And that kids don't have the level of hypocrisy and darkness that adults do.
It makes sense that Agatha would have some level of care about the Scarlet Witch's magical kid Billy. And that is a fondness that has carried onto teenage Billy – who is powerful and a survivor and has a potential for darkness in a way she can relate to.
There are layers and they intersect and it all ties back to how Agatha is incredibly complex and yet consistent as a character.
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seiwas · 1 year ago
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₊˚⊹。by expensive tiles and elite gym pools | gojo satoru
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wc: 935
summary: you visit gojo during one of his training sessions for his upcoming swim meet.
contains: written with f!reader in mind but no pronouns stated, only gendered term is ‘boyfriend’ pertaining to gojo, swimmer!satoru, non-curse au
a/n: wrote this as a lil surprise blurb bday gift for @kedsandtubesocks (but it got longer than expected... oops) i know how much you love your sports aus erika!! also inspired by some swim!satoru thoughts i had a few days ago!
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You hear a splash! the moment you enter the doors of the gym pool.
The lanes are empty save for one, vast crystal blue shimmering as it reflects the light passing through the glass ceiling. You don't know much about pool construction, but the tiles here look clean, with each edge perfectly cut to fit seamlessly into the other; the markings of luxury, expensive but simple enough not to distract—
—which is what you shouldn't be doing walking into this exclusive gym pool reserved only for the best of the best, the elite. Top tier professionals.
Ones like your gold-winning pro-swimmer boyfriend, Gojo Satoru.
He's approaching the end of his lap when you settle into a squat in front of the lane he’s on, towel hanging off your shoulders as you cross your arms over your knees, wiggling your toes as you wait. The moment he breaks through the surface, you can't hide the smile on your face.
You haven’t seen him in days. 
Everything about him feels like he was made for this—how the ripples make way to accommodate his breathing, the dips and curves of muscle on his shoulders, flexing; how his fingers glide his goggles atop his head without resistance, smoothly. Even with his hair held back by the elastic, the few wet clumps that fall out still frame his face so perfectly. 
It's unbelievable how your boyfriend can look so much like the water he swims in—brilliant and white like glimmers of reflected light, and clean blue, striking, always glistening the moment your eyes catch his. 
Sometimes, looking at him feels a lot like drowning.
"How did I do?" he smirks, squinting into what would have been a suave wink, if not for a drop of water causing an involuntary eye-twitch. 
He already knows the answer, but you indulge him anyway, "Good, as always."
"Just good?" he pouts.
There's a droplet of water hanging by his lips, desperately clinging as it trembles while he breathes. You know he knows you're looking by the way he runs his tongue over it, taunting. 
You narrow your gaze and shrug, teasing, "Maybe you missed something."
He swims closer to the ledge you're squatting by, palms pressing on tile to hoist himself up. You try not to fixate on the way his triceps flex as they hold him up, but he lives for this kind of attention from you—he’d do anything to keep you looking at him the way you do. 
Half of his left leg remains submerged when he settles himself on the edge of the pool, the other one bent as he tilts his head in mock wonder, “Did I?”
It's your turn to pout now as he pretends not to know what you’re after, and you're about to say something on it until—
"S'toru!"
—you scream, pulled off-balance with your heart nearly dropping to your stomach at the fear of being dragged into the water. Except you aren't, because with a simple tug at the towel around your neck, he's managed to tip you over to fall into his lap, steadying you against his very wet and very broad chest instead.  
You smack his shoulders, mouth agape and eyes wide as you push back to look at him. He looks pleased with himself, almost laughing even as his arms settle on your hips, grabbing the flesh and squeezing.
"Mean," you scrunch your nose, and he chuckles.
"Excuse me," he holds you closer, "who hurt my feelings first?"
You roll your eyes fondly, sliding your hands to clasp at the back of his neck, "Okay, big baby."
"Do you want your kiss or not?"
You glare at him, lips pursed tight, "As if you don't—"
So he does—kiss you, lips soft and a little damp. You can taste the chlorine from the hours he's already spent here prior to you coming, but it's comforting, a taste entirely too familiar that you sometimes find yourself looking for it during the long stretches he’s on break. 
He kisses you because you're right, something was missing, and it's always this same thing.
You smile against his lips before breaking away, heart gleaming like pool water. The moment is tender, soft, touched by the magic of being together amidst expensive tiles and elite gym pools.
But you should have known better than to trust your pro-swimmer boyfriend, Gojo Satoru—full-time athlete, and part-time the most insufferable person you’ve ever met.
Because with the way his arm has been wrapping itself inch-by-inch around your waist, he's managed to shift his body back to face the pool, only to dump the both of you back in the water, together.
"Satoru!"
He laughs, voice carrying throughout the gym. You grumble about still having your slippers on and he dives under to get it off you, throwing it to the side when he emerges. 
"Race me!" he ducks to the other lane, sliding his goggles back on before shooting you a thumbs up.
And you’d think this silly of him, really, because this is your back-to-back-to-back gold-winning pro-swimmer boyfriend asking you, a survival swimmer at best, to race him—but you can tell this is his cover for you. 
You’d get in trouble if anyone caught you here in the first place. His schedule's been tight lately, locked down with the need to focus for his upcoming swim meet. Being focused meant no distractions, and you being the worst of them all meant less time spent with you, too. 
Still, he'd insisted that you come today, so.
You can't technically be a distraction if you're going to 'train' with him anyway, right?
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comments, tags, and reblogs are greatly appreciated ♡
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ryescapades · 3 months ago
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Hii! Can I have a request for Soshiro Hoshina with fem reader? They're both childhood friends, Soshiro as a kid made a promise that he would marry reader when they both grow up.
As they grew up as adult, both promoted in third division. Reader thinks Soshiro would forget their childhood promises and thinks it just a puppy crush, but Soshiro really mean it and fall for her as well.
sweetheart | hoshina soshiro
genre/warning: fem!reader, fluff, childhood friends to lovers, hint of angst but it's not heavy at all, reader is lowkey a little dense lol, there's like one curse word i think, not sure if i characterised hoshina correctly in this one hm a/n: kinda long fic below! listening to my fav mafiyami playlist while i'm writing this teehee also i'm bad at writing smooching scenes so don't mind me writing the bare minimum
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"soshiro, i heard from your father that you want to work in the defense force... is that right?" seven year old you had asked one day when you were lounging at one of the many engawa's in the hoshina's family estate.
"oh, that! yeah, i'm gonna grow up and become an officer in the defense force! the coolest of them all, in fact!" soshiro, your best friend boasted as he threw you a wide grin. you frowned, feeling your imaginative ears drooping slightly, "but is it not scary though? what if you die fightin' the monsters? you're gonna leave me alone that way,"
soshiro's grin dropped, a pensive look marring his round, chubby-cheeked face. his little mind did quite the thinking before he turned to look at you, eyes bright and sparkling. "if so, let's get married."
you had choked on your saliva, thinking your little admiration for him had been exposed somehow. "w-what do you mean get married?!" soshiro only looked at you with a certain look, as if the answer wasn't obvious already. "well if i'm goin' to die anyways, shouldn't we be spendin' all the time we have together? that's the easier way, right?"
the way he said it sounded so simple, like learning the alphabets or understanding the sky is blue. be with him until he dies, that's what you'd understood and it did not sit well with you, so you declared, "then i want to become an officer together with you! if you die, i die!"
at that, soshiro's grin returned. "so it's settled then." you gave him a smile as a response before feigning a pout, "but you better not forget about it when we're old enough though!"
"yes, yes, i won't. i promise i'm goin' to marry ya when we grow up!"
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
promises are meant to be broken.
at least, that's what you'd grown to believe now that you're an adult with a respectable yet demanding (and risky) job. promise to hang out with an old friend, only to be cancelled when duty called. promise to try out that one restaurant that was newly opened, only for it to be destroyed in a kaiju attack. promise to change the broken thermostat at your apartment, only to leave it unfixed because you're rarely ever home anyways.
and promise to be married to your childhood best friend when you're older, only for it to be forgotten by said friend.
it's pathetic, really.
why are you the only one falling, the only one whose feelings got more intense as the years went by? sometimes you even struggled with your own emotions, not knowing how to handle yourself around the one who has been in your heart for god knows too long. but knowing that he's there, still close by even to this day, soothed your pain just a little bit.
after being appointed as the third division's vice-captain, you had successfully followed in soshiro's footsteps by being scouted by captain ashiro herself to transfer into the same division, though with your average combat power, you were only at the officer level.
you've been working hard since then, of course. your captain even complimented that if you had asked of her, you could be assigned to the platoon leader position soon enough. not to add soshiro had also occurred the same thing and more, which had you blushing to the tips of your toes.
if anything, being a high-ranked officer in the same division just means being in the vicinity of your crush more often and with how you've been holding on mentally, you don't think you're ready to take on that problem as of yet.
it's not like you and soshiro grew apart. no, gods no. as a matter of fact, you two grew even closer, especially now that you're working in his division. and that's exactly the thing; you can't go a day without thinking about how attractive he looks that day, or how nice his voice is when he talks, how beautifully lethal he becomes while fighting off a kaiju or how good he's been to you the past few years. as if he wasn't when you were still a child.
however, you believe that's only because the two of you have been friends for so long. you know him— or at least you'd like to think that you do. if he holds you in the same regard that you do for him, he'd tell you himself. this is soshiro we're talking about; intuitive, easygoing yet determined soshiro. hence, if he's never brought up about that promise, it's either he all forgot about it or he simply doesn't feel the same for you.
get over this puppy crush first. that way you can fully focus on doing your job if you're ever to become a platoon leader, you think as you finish the last of your training, standing upright to wipe the sweat from your forehead.
you walk over to the shelves, about to put your weapons back in their place when a call of your name startles you. you turn around, eyes wide. "holy shit, soshi- vice captain! don't scare me like that, please. i'm holding dangerous stuff here as you can see," you chastise after seeing your best friend at the door of the training room, gesturing to the weapons in your hands as your heart thuds loudly in your chest, although this time it's not because of the earlier jump scare.
soshiro laughs. "sorry, didn't mean to surprise ya." he says. you roll your eyes playfully before you stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to voice out whatever it is that he's here for but he stays quiet, gazing back at you leisurely with his slanted eyes. you try not to flush under his scrutiny, swiveling back around to eventually put aside your weapons.
"i told ya to call me soshiro when we're alone, right? why the sudden formality?" he starts, voice tinged with a hint of teasing. "well, you are my superior. it's a must to address you properly, no?" you casually brush off. you don't notice the way soshiro's jaw uneasily move at your statement, currently too busy checking the notifications in your phone.
"anyway, are you here to train? i'll pass you the room keys if you are." you say, still not looking at him. when once again he doesn't give an immediate reply, you peer up at him with an eyebrow raised. soshiro then offers you small smile, "walk with me?" he asks instead.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
you somehow find yourself going on a stroll with your vice-captain (who's also your best friend and longtime crush) in the street just outside the tachikawa base. "any particular reason why we're out here when i should be inside taking a much needed shower after my workout?" you jokingly ask, staring at the people walking by and nodding politely towards those who greet you.
soshiro gives you a side glance, smiling. "just needed some fresh air." he simple states, making you throw out a skeptical look. "yeah, nice try. if that's the reason, you could've opened the windows in your office. you got a lot of them," you point out, nudging his shoulder which he returns, and now the two of you are having a mini nudging competition until eventually your giggles die down, "no, seriously though. why are we here, soshiro?"
the foxy eyed male exhales a small puff of air before shrugging, "maybe i've been missing you." your head spins to him, eyes blinking a few times, trying to keep your mind from thinking more of what he probably meant by that before you send a smirk his way. "hah! i knew you couldn't live without me bugging you, hm? what are best friends for, right?" you almost grit your teeth, the words feeling like venom in your mouth.
unbeknownst to you, his responding chuckle is almost reluctant. "yeah, you're right." soshiro utters. "apparently the presence of your annoying ass is crucial for me to keep livin'," he sarcastically says, making you jab at his side. "excuse me, you're annoying!" you laugh.
your eyes lock with his crimson ones, and your breath stutters at the soft, almost fond look he's wearing. "w-well, now that i'm here, surely you can go about your incoming days with no trouble!" you play it off, feeling the slight embarrassment creeping up. the fog seems to lift from soshiro's gaze as he faintly shakes his head, his smile now looking all the more cheeky. "uh-huh, i sure hope so."
"yeah, you better be! but don't come crying to me when something minimal inconveniences you or something. i'm just your friend, after all. not your mom."
"....please stop saying that,"
his slow reply had your steps faltering, taken aback. "d-did i... say something wrong?" you stammer in surprise, not expecting him to suddenly sound so... upset?
you catch sight of soshiro's downturned face, "sorry, whatever it is that i said—" you try to apologize but he instantly cuts you off, "right, you kept talkin' like being my friend is a job."
you freeze in your place, "pardon? no! that's not what i meant when i—"
you're about to snap when he interrupts you again but his next words have you recoiling in shock, "did you forget about our promise?" he asks in a low mutter.
wait, what...?
"excuse me?! i thought you had forgotten about it!" you exclaim, genuinely offended.
"i hadn't. i have never. not when—" the violet-haired man in front of you furrows his eyebrows, feeling troubled for a while before he speaks again. "not when you've been such a constant in my life, y/n. you're my one and only best friend, and i've been in love with you my whole life..." he trails off, looking away to the side in agitation.
it's quiet. the park where the two of you have arrived at a few minutes ago is silent, save for the gentle whoosh of the breeze blowing, making the leaves rustle gently around you. however, it's loud in your head. you ears feel deafening. million thoughts are running through your head, overwhelming you all at once.
hoshino soshiro... is in love with you? it's not one-sided? what, how, why, since when? have you been missing the signs all these times?
soshiro peers at you, gauging your lack of reaction. he tries to catch your gaze but the sight of your unfocused eyes and red cheeks had him smiling softly. "do i need to kiss ya to prove my feelings?"
it seems impossible but your body heats up even more, finally getting out of your previous stupor. "w-wait, what the hell! y-you can't just drop that so casually, what?! explain yourself! why didn't you tell me that sooner? especially about our promise!" you point a finger accusingly at him.
he stands with his arms behind his back, looking like the cunning fox he's always known to be with the pleased expression now growing on his face. he then takes a few steps towards you, taking your hands in his. "what else is there to say? i love you, sweetheart. and i've never forgotten that promise we made when we were younger. hm, actually... how about we make good on our words and get married right n—"
at this point, your insides are combusting with how fast your blood has been flowing in your body. "okayyy, i love you too but i think that's enough embarrassment for today!" you pull a hand away and push your palm in his direction, wanting to stop his face from getting closer.
soshiro lets out a relieved laugh, dodging away from your hand before slowly putting his forehead against yours. you glance down at his lips distractedly. "actually, you know what? maybe you should kiss me. uh, you know... as proof... or whatever," you whisper, watching the corners of his mouth tilts at the corner. "yeah? ya think so too?" he murmurs.
your little "mhm," is the only reply he needs before he leans in, connecting his mouth with yours. fireworks spark in the depth of your stomach when soshiro cradles your face affectionately, tilting his head to deepen the kiss as the two of you move in sync, wanting to etch the feeling and taste of the other's lips into your minds.
when you finally pull away, none of you make a move to get out of the embrace as he props his head back against yours, inhaling sharply. "fuck, you don't know how long i've been wantin' to do that," he groans as your lashes flutter slightly at the sound of his thick accent. he makes a move to dive in again but you suddenly grab his shoulder, putting a distance between you two.
"alright, as much as i love how this turned out, i really need to take a shower. i stink, soshiro." you grumble, reluctant to ruin the mood which makes him snicker. "okay, okay, fine. let's go back for now. i'll find ya again at dinner. how's that?" he inquires, intertwining his hand with yours as you two make your way back to the base.
"yeah, sure thing. also, does this mean i'm your girlfriend now?"
"oh? and here i thought we already established that we're married?" soshiro questions, his free hand coming up to rub his chin in exaggerated contemplation. "what? no, we didn't. stop being hasty, will you?!" you reprimand lightheartedly.
he sighs dramatically, "that so? well, i guess ya just have to stick with bein' my stinky girlfriend then."
"hey!"
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©🅁🅈🄴🅂🄲🄰🄿🄰🄳🄴🅂. do not steal, translate or repost my work anywhere else !
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rationaliity · 5 months ago
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gonna just drop a bulletpoint story out there because this aint a lot to go off of but you're soooo right, speak your truth i love you. you're putting two of my favorite things together, ratio and kitsune / foxes
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♡ kitsune! ratio who got eight tails, some joke its one tail for each subject that he's graduated college with a master's degree for
♡ he's really is far more playful than people give him credit for, although in his own deadpan kind of way
♡ like, no, he doesn't outright make jokes, but he'll say stuff that goes over people's heads and then loudly exclaim " why do i even bother ?! " with a feigned annoyance, but it's okay because its ratio and it's cute
♡ he really takes the ' sly fox ' thing to heart. i mean, he already works in the shadows, sly is just a part of who he is
♡ but he is still a good person !! people may often assume that he's not because of how he acts and they attribute that to being a kitsune, but he really does care about humans
♡ especially one stupid little human who likes to visit the shrine he lives at a lot
♡ yeah, you caught his attention, but he would much rather die than admit that to you
♡ he doesn't say anything when you offer him the good tuna while he's in his fox form, even though it irks him a little bit because he's a fox, you moron, not a wild cat
♡ shouldn't you be trying to run away from him anyways ? why are you so brazen about walking up to a fox ? don't you know that they're wild animals and they can hurt you if they wanted to ?
♡ you're so lucky that he doesn't want to, otherwise it would be a problem on your side
♡ he eats the tuna every time you bring it for an offering, enjoying it even though he bites back a snarky comment every single time
♡ he's smart enough not to bite the hand that feeds him. his shrine is so far out into the woods that you're really the only one who comes to visit him from time to time, something that he was silently grateful for
♡ he's not tied to the shrine, he can leave if he wanted to, and he's often out and about doing whatever he wanted to, usually finding a hapless human like you and quietly guiding them towards a better solution
♡ but you liked to visit the shrine every wednesday, so he made sure he was there every wednesday
♡ why ? because he wanted to
♡ when he finally revealed his true form to you, it was purely to educate you on something stupid that you had done, at least that's what he told himself
♡ you'd gotten cut by the bramble out in the forest while making the trip to him, and so of course he had to show his true form to bandage your wounds, that was only proper of him
♡ while biting your ear off about not even worrying about the wound until you were at the shrine. what if it got infected, or worse ? you truly were a foolish human
♡ all eight of his tails are angrily flicking the ground below him as he patches you up the best he can, meanwhile berating you for your idiocy, something that he cant stand
♡ and you're just smiling like a moron, too, despite being injured ! he can't wrap his head around you !
♡ finally, once youre all taken care of, he has to ask why you offer him food, when he just looked like a regular fox to you at the shrine
♡ possibly the most annoying thing ever, you don't have a good answer. no profound understanding, just because you want to
♡ he's so frustrated with you he's sure he may pop a blood vessel, and you offer to leave, but he tells you to stay. it would've made the trip and your injury meaningless if you left so suddenly without staying for anything
♡ and when the sun begins to set, you find him... following you away from the shrine ?
♡ ask him what he's doing and he's just going to give you a simple answer, and if this should've been common knowledge to you all along, and you were an idiot for asking
♡ " of course, someone has to watch over you to make sure you don't accidentally get yourself killed. "
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— ♡ rationaliity 2024
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stevieschrodinger · 5 months ago
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Part One Two Three
Dustin looks squirrely, which is as weird as it is nerve wracking for Steve. When Dustin looks squirrely it’s usually shit like he’s keeping a baby fucking demo dog as a pet.
Which Steve just...doesn’t want to deal with it any more. He’s had enough. He needs Dustin to have normal kid shit problems, not apocalyptic ones.
So Steve is, silently, praying to whoever will listen that Dustin wants, like, the sex talk or something, and not that there’s an inter-dimensional creature with a taste for nougat in Hawkins.
“Eddie says he’s okay.”
Which, Steve just kind of shrugs, because it’s the same message Dustin’s been bringing back for months. Nancy and Robin have stopped to listen too. John and Argyle have gone on a snack run and the rest of the kids are outside; so this feels kind of worryingly tactical on Dustin’s part that he’s telling a very select group this information.
“I’m pretty sure he isn’t, though.”
“Okkkayyyy...tell us what’s going on,” Robin leans against the counter, and Steve is so glad Dustin chose to do this with the girls here.
“Well,” and Dustin looks squirrely again and Steve figures he...he thinks he must be betraying Eddie, or something, “I thought he was, at first, you know? He was planning campaigns and writing music and just seemed to be...you know. Normal.”
“But…”
“Well he...the last few times I’ve been there he...he hasn’t gotten out of bed and,” Dustin wrinkles his nose, ready for the big betrayal, “there’s always a lot of empty like, beer cans and stuff and...he smells kind of. Bad.”
The girls looks at each other before Nancy finally says, “we will go and see him, don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”
Steve watches as Dustin relaxes, and realizes for the first time that this was, probably, way over Dustin’s pay grade, emotionally speaking. They are the adults, and dealing with someone who...well, it’s got to be depression, right? Eddie was never okay, he was faking to start with. Even Steve can figure that out from what Dustin’s just said. Just because they’ve dealt with alternate dimensions and world ending monsters, it doesn’t mean that Dustin is equipped to deal with shit like this – yeah, definitely heavy stuff for a kid. And Eddie, would Eddie have been able to fake it if say the girls, or Steve, had gone over? Would they have noticed a problem that Dustin just, didn’t? Because for all they’ve been through, they’re still just kids. Dustin might not have noticed that Eddie was dragging himself out of bed and cleaning up just for the one or two hours a week that Dustin was stopping by.
But Robin would have...and Nancy definitely would have.
And now Eddie doesn’t have the energy to just...fake it any more, simple as.
This is heavy shit, too heavy for Dustin to have to deal with.
And that’s how Steve ends up ferrying the girls to the brand new Munson trailer, right at the other end of the park from where the old one was. Nancy’s in full investigative reporter mode, Steve can sense it. Luckily, Robin goes first, " we shouldn't have left him this long."
Nancy hums in agreement.
The doors not locked and no one answers, so they all end up spilling unceremoniously into the bedroom.
Dustin was being kind; it reeks of stale cigarettes and sweat. He was being nice about the beer cans too; it’s not just beer cans, worryingly there’s also empty vodka bottles and even a couple of wine bottles in the mix.
This is not something that has happened recently; this has been going on for months.
The place is a mess. Like a can’t even see the floor kind of mess.
In the middle of his visibly dirty bedding, Eddie snores on, oblivious.
“Steve, you get him in the shower, Robin and I will clean this up.”
Steve’s dubious, but he shakes Eddie’s shoulder gently. Nothing.
He tries again, firmer this time, and Eddie comes awake with an undignified snort and hands flapping at Steve’s, trying to get the movement to stop.
Steve can hear the girls rummaging out in the kitchen, looking for trash bags and rubber gloves, maybe a box for the bottles.
Maybe two boxes.
Steve shakes him again, “Eddie come on.”
Eddie does blink up at him then, clearly groggy and confused, but he smiles. Smiles so big and happy, he grasps one of Steve’s hands now, rather than trying to push it away, still smiling, he pulls it up to his mouth and kisses Steve’s knuckles softly.
Steve doesn’t know what his face is doing, but Eddie’s frowning, something like realization dawns on Eddie’s face, and then throwing Steve’s hand away like it’s burning him. Eddie moves quick, scrambling to the edge of the bed and leaning over it, and Steve realizes what’s about to happen a second too late; Eddie starts to throw up just as Steve moves, so his sneakers do get splattered a little bit.
Which...Steve’s probably trudged through worse, realistically speaking. There’s not really anything Steve can do about it now, so he gingerly sidesteps the splatter of vomit and, briefly, feels really sorry for the girls, “come on Munson, up.”
Eddie grumbles nonsensically, but does allow Steve to heave him up, his head lolling, still clearly very drunk. Eddie doesn’t put up much of a fight when Steve strips him; made easy by the fact that he’s wearing a stained tee shirt and dirty boxers that Steve abandons in a smelly pile on the bathroom floor.
He’s too thin; far too thin. Barely any weight at all on Steve’s arm, ribs all knobbly and skin stretched strangely over his joints.
Eddie slides to the floor under the warm water and Steve, not wanting to get any damper, makes no effort to stop him. At least sitting on the floor he’s safe; he can’t fall any further. Steve vaguely recalls something about little kids being able to drown in an inch of water, and keeps half an eye on Eddie as he digs around for toiletries.
He finds a sad bar of soap and shudders, but it’ll do. Steve gives Eddie the most perfunctory scrub down ever, doing his best not to look at or be aware of any part of Eddie’s body as he flicks the cloth over it.
The towel that’s hanging up looks dubious, but better than nothing.
Eddie’s showing no sign of rousing; Steve has no idea if he’s just...really really drunk still, or if he’s hiding. Steve’s brain prods at what he saw; Eddie’s reaction to him.
There’s one logical conclusion that he’s trying his best to avoid. Unfortunately, no matter how he angles it...his conclusion remains the same. There’s one obvious answer. Eddie looks like a sad drowned rat under the water, and Steve shuts it off, covering him with the one sad towel.
Eddie shivers without the heat of the water, and Steve tries not to feel guilty. This isn’t his fault. He’s not...if Eddie had a Steve, he’s not him. He didn’t, die, or anything. It’s a bit of a headfuck, and thankfully Robin interrupts by shoving the door open far enough to press through a bundle of clothes; black sleep pants and a hoodie, but better than nothing, “there’s no clean clothes, it’s the best we could find,” she whispers.
Which, okay, they’re kind of musty, but at least not obviously dirty.
Eddie huffs through Steve pulling his clothes on, standing awkwardly as Steve pulls his pants up like you would with a little kid.
Steve dumps him on the couch; immediately feeling bad about the whole thing. Guilt, maybe, but he pushes that away harshly because this isn’t Steve’s fault. It’s no one’s fault.
Well, except for the labs and then One. But there’s no one here to blame and it’s...ridiculous that Steve would feel bad about it.
This isn’t the time. Eddie’s passed out again, so Steve gets a glass of water from the kitchen, leaving it on the table where Eddie will find it, before he goes to help the girls.
“We absolutely cannot leave him here.”
“No, agreed, being alone is not good for him.”
“He’s not alone,” Steve protests, “Wayne’s here.”
“And Wayne works twelve hour nights six days a week and has done nothing about this so far,” Nancy replies, brooking no argument, “we’ll take him to yours, he needs to dry out.”
“Mine?” Steve squeaks, “look, uhm, maybe not mine-”
“Why not yours?” Robin cuts him off, “you have the space, and no one else around. I can come and stay, help you keep an eye on him.”
And although all of that is true, Steve doesn’t know how to tell them what he’s just figured out, and having Eddie in his house feels...awkward as fuck.
Eddie’s like a zombie out of one of his games. He has to be encouraged out of bed, Robin putting herself to the task, and that takes a good hour on the really bad days. He picks at toast. He picks at eggs. He picks at whatever's put in front of him.
He doesn’t fight it when they take the spirits away, he doesn’t fight it when he’s allocated three beers a day; he never looks for more. He doesn’t fight anything. He’s broken. So broken Steve has no idea what to do about it. The kids come and go, maintaining conversation around Eddie that Eddie will vaguely engage with whenever one of the kids addresses him directly.
Otherwise he sits there, inert. The kids talk about school and their nerd games and all that normal stuff, and then they leave again.
Sometimes it’s just Eddie and Steve in the house, and that's enough to make Steve want to throw himself into the lake; Eddie’s presence is uncomfortable, and Steve immediately feels guilt every time he feels like that.
Eddie saved their lives. Eddie fought off actual mind control and took out One like it was nothing. Eddie saved the world, at great fucking sacrifice to himself, and Steve feels like a total dipshit every time he has to remind himself of it.
He has to do something for Eddie. He has to try and get through to him somehow.
He has an idea, and when he tells Robin he’s going out for a bit, she doesn’t question it.
Steve delivers Wayne an update when he picks up Eddie’s records. Wayne seems like a good guy, even though he’s completely out of his depth with Eddie, he seems to be able to roll with the punches. He believes the kids want what’s best for Eddie, and that seems to be enough for him for now.
Eddie’s lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, seeing nothing.
Steve picks one of his records at random, ‘Holy Diver. Dio,’ and puts it on the record player on low. He has Eddie’s guitar too, his notebooks, the rule books from his dumb game. Steve brings it all in in bits and pieces and leaves it on the coffee table. He leans Eddie’s guitar against the end of the couch.
By the time he’s finished, Eddie seems more alert; is actually watching Steve. Steve gives him a nod, and leaves him to it.
It changes something. Something undefinable. Eddie seems to be...making an effort. Robin says she thinks he’s coming around; remembering how to be a person. She thinks he’s making a good first step. He still drinks three beers a day, but they’re pretty much the weakest ones available and Steve thinks he’s doing it more out of habit than anything. There’s no other alcohol in the house.
What Steve thinks he knows has been gnawing at him too. Bothering his insides. He understands the girls logic; this is probably the best place for Eddie to be, but given what Steve thinks he’s figured out, this might also be the absolute worst place for Eddie to be.
He feels like he’s haunting him; the dead love of Eddie’s life, following him around every single day. Steve can’t even imagine what that’s like; Eddie even just having to look at him must hurt. Other questions always follow, like, why Steve? Was it random? Eddie must be gay, right?
Was Steve just the easiest one for Eddie’s brain to summon up in the moment? Or was there something else there, feelings that were easy to manipulate? Was there a reason it was Steve, or not?
He could spend hours chasing the thoughts if he let himself. Instead he makes himself and Eddie something to eat, a couple of sandwiches, and then takes them through. He sits, eating his own, and watching as Eddie nibbles on his. Things have moved; even as Steve watches, Eddie puts down the sandwich and scribbles in his notebook.
Steve’s just getting up to leave when he stops at the sound of Eddie clearing his throat, he still won’t look at Steve when he speaks, “thanks, uhm, for getting my stuff.”
It’s been a while since Eddie has spoken to Steve directly, and Steve hesitates a second, feeling like this is his chance to try and...he doesn’t know. Say something meaningful. Fix Eddie, somehow, say the exact right thing to make it better, eventually he just says, “no problem, man.”
Eddie nods, Steve waits in case there's more, but there doesn’t seem to be. He makes it to the kitchen door before Eddie speaks again, “you guys, you’ve probably saved my life.”
He is looking up as Steve now, chewing on the end of his pencil nervously, “you saved ours first,” Steve tells him.
Eddie huffs out the smallest, driest laugh, “didn’t realize it was a competition, Harrington.”
Steve leaves him to it, it’s not much, but it’s a start.
“You had a kid, right? Tell me about them?” It’s a push Steve knows. Their brief conversations turning into the occasional ten minutes on the deck when they both go out for a cigarette might have become regular, but they’re by no means secure. Steve might be about to bring the whole fragile thing down, but he needs to know. It’s eating him alive.
Eddie just shakes his head, ‘no.’ and sips at the beer he has. A beer Steve is pretty sure Eddie should not have, even if it is only a psychological thing, at this point, but Robin continues to be adamant that Eddie going completely cold turkey would be a really bad idea, so Eddie continues to have an allowance.
‘Well, fuck it,’ Steve thinks, ‘might as well try it,’ “come on, they were ours, right?”
Eddie snorts, “she was always more like you than-” he stops, cutting himself off. But it’s all the confirmation Steve needs.
Eddie looks at him then, horrified, before scrambling up.
“Eddie, stop, it’s okay-” Steve tries.
“Fuck you Harrington,” Eddie growls at him with more emotion than Steve's seen in Eddie since the whole thing happened, and then throws the beer bottle, not at Steve, exactly, but close enough that broken glass scatters around his shoe, beer smattering the patio slabs and the smell of it rising to fill Steve’s nose almost immediately.
Eddie stomps into the house, and Steve can hear Robin asking what happened, clearly concerned; she must have heard the bottle smash, “I cannot stay here with him,” Eddie spits, before the moment passes.
Robin comes out a moment later, “Nancy’s with him, what the fuck just happened?”
Steve’s a little stunned by the confirmation and then the close run in with the beer bottle, but regardless he wouldn’t hide this from Robin, “it was me, Robs. The...Eddie’s wife? I guess, not a wife, me.”
@autumncrocusandladybug @duckyreads @neonfruitbowl @slv-333 @starlight-archer @skys-archive @justdreamersdream @moomkin77 @prazinos @dragonmama76 @lingeringmirth @darkwitchoferie @weirdandabsurd42 @zoeweee @thennic @xiaq @tinyplanet95 @steddieyourself @chrystal-lovee @futuristicunknown86 @grtwdsmwhr @mugloversonly @wonderland-girl143-blog @a-little-unsteddie @marvel-ous-m @ajeff855 @gutterflower77 @thedragonsaunt @xxbottlecapx @hairdryerducks @catateme9 @gleek4twd @jaytriesstrangerthings @rovia2323 @carlajim98 @stevesbipanic @steddiecameraroll @thermofisherscientific @ninjapirateunicorns @whenindoubtb72 @dreamwatch @spectrum-spectre @eddiethehunted @sticknpokelightningbolt @kittycatcrackhead @hawkinshighflunkee @plasticcrotches @metalmunson @rosered93 @p0lybl4nkk @bluexvelvet @nicememerino @semi-precious-stoner @persnicketysquares @bj-freeplay @practicallybegging @yesdangerpls @cryptid-system @nadineseaday @platinum-sunset @bookworm0690 @clockworkballerina
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gojhoes · 6 months ago
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"down bad"
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"fuck it if i can't have us."
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gojo was used to getting everything he wanted – clothes, sweets, fancy chairs; you name it, he had it. but you? he'd never wanted anything more in his entire life, and you were just out of his reach.
the two of you had shared the same apartment for six months shortly after being introduced by his friend, geto. a sweet smile, bedroom eyes, and cleverness which rivaled his own drew him to you. how convenient was it that both of you had been looking for a roommate at the exact same time?
you sat on the opposite end of the couch (his couch), sprawled out in a fashion that made your ass peek out from the hem of your shorts. just as he had done for the past year, gojo clenched his jaw with the effort it took not to stare. he dug his nails into his palms to take the edge off the desire to pull you into his lap and squeeze. he imagined, and not for the first time, how soft you'd feel grinding on his cock through the many cursed layers of clothing.
but it shouldn't be that way, because you were roommates– friends. it would be stupid to jeopardize such a thing but god, he wanted. the urge to say, 'fuck it' and confess his feelings overcame him once again coupled with a pounding heart. he opened his mouth to speak, your name forming on his lips–
and a sudden, simple announcement from you was enough to rob gojo of the last of his rationality.
"i have a date."
it was said with that pretty smile and genuine enthusiasm, and all gojo could feel was pure unbridled jealousy. who could possibly be making you blush like that? it hit him like a physical blow to the chest; you may as well have punched him in the gut.
"what?" the word came out harshly, much more than gojo knew he was entitled to, but it spilled out of him, nonetheless. "with who?"
you were visibly stunned by his response– gojo never raised his voice, never was cross with you. he was jovial, carefree, downright silly, never getting upset for any reason, not even when you drunkenly spilled a cocktail on his very expensive sofa. but even the most solid of foundations will crack after enough wear and tear.
since you'd moved in together, neither of you had brought someone home, and gojo had begun to think of you as his. incessant casual flirting, fleeting "accidental" touches, sharing the intimacies of mundane life– didn't that mean you wanted him, too?
you spit out some name that gojo didn't even hear, but he noticed the hesitation in your answer.
"no."
you blinked at him. "satoru?"
fuck it.
gojo closed the space separating you, crawling over your body and pinning you to the couch on your back. he plucked your phone from your hand and tossed it carelessly on the coffee table with a thud, earning a surprised squeak from you.
"satoru, what-" you were breathless, looking up into his eyes with panic.
he didn't bother to give a verbal response, instead leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. he half-expected you to shove him off, but pure excitement and possession blew through his chest when your hand slipped over the back of his neck to draw him closer.
"the only person you'll have a date with," satoru said. "is me."
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sparklingblu · 2 months ago
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Limerence (ft. ILLIT Minju)
I don't even know what to call this. Somewhat of a fluff but not really a fluff either. Something that just pops into my mind.
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"So he asked 'Is it better to speak or die?' "
"That's the stupidest story I have ever heard"
Minju leaves no chance for you to savour that feeling that comes after quoting something particularly clever. Or she's just being a jerk as usual.
"You are just anti-romantic"
You protest though you know she will have thought of a retort before you finish.
"There's nothing romantic about this story"
"It's a love story for christ's sake"
"Where's the 'love' ?"
You slump back in your chair, defeated. Either she's too dumb to understand your point or you are just bad at telling stories. The latter's probably more likely.
The story's not an ordinary one in the first place. It involves a knight and a princess but it ends neither with a 'happily ever after' nor a bloodbath where they both rip their hearts out. There isn't even an ending.
'Is it better to speak or die?'
The last sentence on this paper of the dusty hard covered book which has turned yellow from the years it have endured. It's a mircale how it's still intact.
You mummur the question under your breath, trying to make sense of the words. But they are still nothing more than a jumbled mess in your mind.
The funny thing is, this is not your first time reading this story. You are actually too familiar with it. The setting, the characters, the way it almost seems to tell the secret you have carefully hidden; it doesn't make sense that you are still confused what this single question everything has lead up to mean. Still, you are here, no wiser than the first time you have read this tale.
In some time immemorial in an unknown kingdom lived a princess and a knight, each a good friend to another. Perhaps because of this closeness, the knight started to feel something more than companionship to the princess. Feelings that shouldn't exist given their scoial status. The princess knew it too though she ptetends to be oblivious. Nonetheless, the knight found himself unable to express his desires - torn between the fear of losing what he currently has and the turmoil of hiding himself. So one day, when he took his usual walk with the princess through the garden, he mustered up the courage to ask one single question.
"Is it better to speak or die?"
The End.
Anyone can guess at this point that the knight meant if it's better to put his feelings into words and sacrifice their friendship or die knowing that he will never have what he wants. You wish it's that simple.
You and Minju have been stuck in the same page for an hour now, still having no idea how to progress your assignment. The task was a paper on an in depth analysis on a tale of your choice. Now you regret not choosing 'The Tortoise & The Hare".
"Why do you choose this one anyway? There are like a million other better choices"
Minju says, gesturing at the endless shelves of books that surround you on all sides. Not millions but perhaps a thousand other choices you could have made in this rectangular bank of knowledge; the local library.
Somewhere distinct, you hear a bell chimes, signaling the arrival to the later hour of the night. You glance at your watch. It's already 9 pm. A cough reasonates from the counter near the entrance, emitted by none other than the librarian. The ghastly old woman seems to be signalling that we don't have much time left.
I don't have much time left.
Minju's translucent pupils are fixed on you, still waiting for your answer. You break out of the haze.
"Because it's.."
'Relatable'. The word is 'Relatable'. But she doesn't need to know that. Never.
"Interesting I guess"
You finish, not quite daring to meet her eyes. She might see the guilt of your dishonest words in them.
"Seriously? This is interesting? Next time you think something is interesting, feel free to ask my opinion"
"Not everyone have great taste"
You mean it to be a playful jab but her face distorts to something along the line of fury and hurt. And her lips part.
No. Please don't be mad.
Please.
"Jerk"
Her words put out the flames of fear threatening to rise in your chest. There. All good. She's not mad.
You let out a sigh of relief but quickly mask it as a half formed scoff. She can't know. So you waver her attention.
"Tell me then. What's your opinion on this story apart from it being hopelessly stupid"
Her lips stretch to a soft smile. You have put her back into her comfort zone.
"It's not about love like you think. It's about cowardice"
"Enlighten me"
She crosses her arms, the pose she always takes before her rosy lips spill out a waterfall of the most beautiful syllables. It also makes her look superior. The table, which is the only thing between you two seems like a brick wall now.
"The knight doesn't say 'I love you' or anything of that sort, does he? He's scared out of his wits so he decided to go for a safer alternative. That question. It literally says 'I'm a coward who can't even properly confess' "
Is she mocking you?
Probably not. She doesn't know. She will never know.
Still....
'Is it better to spek or die?'
A coward's attempt at love; complicated and imperfect. At least he has the courage to mutter those cowardly words.
"You are not wrong but can't it be that he's just scared of losing her?"
Yes. You are referring to yourself.
But she won't know.
"He already loses her after saying these words"
"You don't know that. You don't know what the pericess's answer was. She could have accepted him"
"You don't know that either"
Now she's fighting you with your own words.
"What would you have answered if you were the princess then?"
Is that an indirect confession? An attempt to ask her opinion without facing the shame that comes after rejection? You hope not.
"I don't know...I would probably ask him to speak in English"
"Not funny at all"
Your answer makes her raise her brows in disbelief as if saying - "I know I will never not be funny to you. You are too obsessed with me not to."
But that's impossible. She doesn't know.
Has she spoken these words aloud, you would happily agree with her. But that's just momentary courage. Your tongue would be tied to knots in a hearbeat if that ever happens.
That begs the question again.
'Is it better to speak or die?'
"Whatever" she says in exasperation. "I'm not lovey dovey enough for this"
"Seriously. Just tell me what you would have said"
There. You are pushing again, desperate for that answer even if it's not directed at you. You would cling to a tiny hope if it's ever a positive one.
"I don't know. Probably tell him to speak because I don't want anyone going suicidal mode because of me"
"He will still go suicidal if you reject him after he confess"
"Why are you asking me those? Were you in such a situation before?"
You surpress a chuckle that nearly slips your tongue.
What a fool you are Minju. You can't even spot the truth that's hidden in plain sight. The truth that has gone rusty and rotten because it has been locked up for so long. Still, it's not her fault.
You have hidden it so well.
She doesn't need to know.
"Yes"
You can't believe you say the word. It's as if someone has possessed you and put those words on your tongue.
"Poor you"
And just like that, it ends.
You have expected her to push you, given her curious nature. You want her to lend you the courage to say those words you have mummur countless times in your dreams. But she just leaves you hanging there like that. Cruel.
Can't blame her though.
She doesn't know.
Another cough pierces through the invisible viel that has seperated you two from the world outside.
9:25 pm.
5 minutes away until this tedious session of back and forth ends.
Why is it that you don't want it to end?
The papers in front of you are bare as they were an hour ago. The book still turned at the same page. The question that haunts you still lies there, imprinted in black.
'Is it better to speak or die?'
Neither. Because that's a stupid question just like Minju said. It's constructed to mess with your mind. You gotta stop dwelling on it.
"Anyway-"
Chimes
That sound. It can only mean one thing.
Minju pulls her phone out of her pocket, the glow of it illuminating her angelic feature as she turns it on. Not a moment sooner, her lips hold the prettiest of smiles.
And in all the wrong ways.
"Gotta go"
Her dismissal cuts through the tense air as she hurriedly put the papers back into her bag. Is she that desperate to get away from you?
"My boyfriend's waiting for me. We have a date tonight"
You are not angry. It would be wrong. Though it's only natural to envy the one who's living your fantasy. But the faults are not in our stars.
"Alright. Goodnight"
Minju's footsteps echo on the mahogany floor as she finally escapes the torturous session you have put her though, flying away to an embrace better than yours in every way.
But it's ok.
Because she doesn't know.
She gives a quick wave to the old librarian who does nothing to reciprocate the action. That hag doesn't know how lucky she is.
"Minju"
You call before the rest of her form disppears through these creaking doors. She turns on her heels, a stray strand of hair clinging like an unifinished piece of art to her forehead. The shadows cast by the moonlight does nothing to hide her.
"Yes?"
You breath.
And utter.
"Is it better to speak or die?"
___________________________________________
Took the famous question from the movie "Call me by your name". Though I alter the story. Thanks for reading this madness.
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mimi-cee-genshin · 2 years ago
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Friend-zoned? - Alhaitham x f!reader
Summary: How many Akademiya guys does it take to figure out whether or not you've friend-zoned Alhaitham? After discussing how strong he is, Kaveh, Cyno and Tighnari analyze his relationship with you. Things get interesting when you join their table.
Other info: fluff and humor :D, female reader, my extension of the conversation in Alhaitham's character demo because I loved the guys' interactions there so much
Words: 2.7k
*****
"Essentially, more time on contemplation, less time on execution," Alhaitham tells them. "Simple, isn't it?"
"... Not really," Tighnari and Cyno reply.
"Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have brought this up with you," Kaveh complains.
"I thought my answer was quite engrossing," Alhaitham says. He raises his hand. "Boss, this is good wine. I'll have the same please."
Kaveh swirls his cup. "Well, he has at least one weakness," he comments.
"Do tell," Cyno says.
"He's had the same crush for years," Kaveh tells them. "The guy's completely smitten."
"You can't be serious," says Cyno.
"Why is that so surprising?" Alhaitham says. "It makes less sense that I wouldn't be attracted to her."
"See what I mean?" says Kaveh. "You should see how he is around her. He practically treats her like a queen."
"I have a hard time believing that," Cyno says, crossing his arms.
"Stop exaggerating," Alhaitham tells Kaveh. "I just treat her the way she should be treated."
Kaveh only laughs at his answer.
"I thought you didn't like social interaction," says Cyno. "Or had any friends for that matter."
"It's not tiring to be around her," he says. "She's different."
"Of course she is," says Kaveh.
"Well this is interesting," says Tighnari. "What is she like?"
"We've known each other since we were kids. She was mature for her age. She did things like helping me resolve issues I had with others to keep the peace, making sure other kids didn't bother me while I was reading… Also, comforting me whenever I got discouraged…"
"You? Discouraged?" Kaveh scoffs.
"Yes? I'm only human you know," Alhaitham simply replies. "Anyway, you get the picture."
"That seems reasonable," says Tighnari.
"So it's one-sided?" Cyno asks. "As far as I can tell, you're still single."
"No," says Alhaitham, crossing his arms. "It's not one-sided."
"You're kidding me, right?" Kaveh says. "Are we even talking about the same person?"
Tighnari raises a brow.
"Every time she introduces him to another woman, she's a little too obvious with sharing why they'd be good for Alhaitham," Kaveh explains, "as if she's trying to sell them off to him."
"Don't be so dramatic," Alhaitham says. "She's not selling anyone."
"If that's the case, then why are you sure she likes you?" asks Cyno.
"Well for one, she comes by often to check how I'm doing."
"Perhaps she simply thinks you're incompetent at your job," Kaveh chides.
"Two," he continues, ignoring him. "She's always willing to hear about the latest book I'm reading, no matter how boring others think of it."
"Hmm…" Tighnari mumbles. "I can understand that."
"And three…" Alhaitham puts down his cup. "Whenever she reaches out for my hand, like when she wants to comfort me, she stops short of actually holding it."
"She does?" asks Kaveh.
"Interesting. So it seems that while she does display some sort of affection for you," says Tighnari, "perhaps she just didn't want you to get the wrong idea."
"So you're doubting my conclusion?"
"I'm simply saying it's difficult to judge based on the evidence you've provided. We may need to observe the two of you for ourselves."
Alhaitham sighs. This isn't going anywhere.
"Does she have any reason to not want to date you?" Cyno asks. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were overly critical of her, commenting on her every action."
"I give her nothing but compliments. She knows I think very highly of her."
"Huh," Tighnari says. "That's quite unexpected."
"I've been telling you guys," Kaveh says, "but he's really something else around her."
"Is she… actually older than you by any chance?" asks Tighnari.
"She is."
"Hmm… Well this changes things. Perhaps, she still sees you as a kid and is simply just doting on you."
Kaveh turns to Alhaitham, eagerly waiting for his reply.
Alhaitham clears his throat. "She's less than a couple of years older than me. It's not a big deal."
"Just admit that you're friend-zoned," says Kaveh. "Who'd treat their love interest like a kid?"
"I'm not so sure…" Cyno says.
Both Kaveh and Tighnari raise a brow.
"I think that Alhaitham has a clearer picture and can judge more accurately than any of us. They've known each other for long enough."
"It's just his wishful thinking on his part," says Kaveh. "Who wouldn't want to read into their crush's actions?"
"I agree to an extent," says Tighnari, "but perhaps we're missing some crucial information here. We don't know how well Alhaitham can judge a person's actions when romantic feelings are involved."
"I'm thinking quite clearly, thanks," Alhaitham says.
"This is why you aren't getting anywhere," Kaveh scolds him. "You're assuming she has feelings for you when she doesn't. You still need to win her over."
"Then what do you suggest I do?" Alhaitham crosses his arms.
"Ha. As if I'd help you. She could do way better than you anyway."
Alhaitham groans. Why is he even part of this conversation?
"Well, have you ever told her how you felt?" asks Cyno.
"Of course," replies Alhaitham. "I'm pretty obvious about it."
"For someone as reserved as you, I highly doubt that," Cyno adds.
"I wrote her a letter, eloquently expressing my love for her."
"Pfft. What?" Kaveh snorts.
Tighnari stares in disbelief. "Oh. I get it. You did that when you were children."
"I'm referring to the one I gave her yesterday."
"Pfft."
"That's… pretty obvious," Tighnari adds.
"I bet it was more of an essay than a love letter," Kaveh says with a smirk.
"Well, in that case, she either doesn't like you," says Tighnari, "or there's something that prevents her from admitting her feelings."
"Perhaps she's intimidated by your position," suggests Cyno.
"It's unlike her to care about those things," Alhaitham says. "She even treats me like a kid at times."
"So you do admit she just thinks of you as a kid," Kaveh says.
Alhaitham doesn't answer.
"Honestly, this case is closed," Kaveh continues. "There's nothing more to it."
"Hmm... Have you tried to make her jealous?" asks Cyno.
"You're still not convinced?" Kaveh is surprised at him.
"Knowing the result of that would likely draw us closer to a conclusion," Tighnari adds.
"Why would I purposely try to hurt her?" asks Alhaitham.
They exchange glances. Alhaitham still had the ability to make them go speechless with his matter-of-fact tone.
"Well, he's definitely serious about her," says Cyno.
"I told you," Kaveh says. "Seems like she's the only person he'd open up to as well."
"Of course she is," Alhaitham replies.
"I wonder…" says Tighnari. "Has she ever shared her own struggles with you?"
"Why would that be a factor?"
"Well, that would display how comfortable she is around you."
"Hmm… Not bad…" Alhaitham seems to agree with his line of reasoning.
He goes quiet and uncomfortably so because the other three exchange awkward glances at each other in the meantime.
"Well?" Cyno breaks the silence.
"You may be right," Alhaitham tells Tighnari with a sigh. "But that certainly raises more questions."
"Can we just start playing Genius Invokation TCG?" asks Kaveh. "We just keep going in circles with this topic."
"So you guys did just drag me out to play cards," says Alhaitham.
"It would be interesting to meet her," says Tighnari. "It's gotten me curious."
"Same here," says Cyno.
Kaveh looks up at the tavern entrance. "Huh? She's actually here."
Alhaitham's eyes flicker open for a brief moment. "Nice try. I'm not falling for that."
"I didn't expect to see you here, Alhaitham," you say, ruffling his hair.
He freezes and the three of them take a closer look at his face.
"I never expected him to have that kind of expression," whispers Tighnari.
"Me neither," Cyno agrees.
Alhaitham clears his throat. "They simply invited me here for some cards," he tells you. "Nothing more."
"Can I join?" you ask.
Without question, Alhaitham gets up from his chair. He holds the back of his seat and slides it out, gesturing for you to take it.
Cyno and Tighnari widen their eyes.
"Is it just me or did that feel kind of odd?" says Tighnari.
"Coming from him? You're not wrong there," adds Cyno.
You hesitate for a moment before you accept his kindness and take his seat. He stands next to you, waiting for the other guys to start preparing the game.
The two onlookers feel slightly uncomfortable for some reason while Kaveh tells them another round of 'I-told-you-so's. There isn't anything out of the ordinary as you all take your turns playing each other. Cyno is intense as usual, not just with his tactics but also with how he approaches the battle like an interrogation. Tighnari was calm and collected even under pressure, and Kaveh spoke his mind with every move, regardless of whether it's his or his opponent's. But having you there with Alhaitham is… strange.
Nothing really happens of significance. The two of you treat each other well and with respect. Just having Alhaitham being a complete gentleman around you is unnerving for the rest of them. Curt responses and sarcastic remarks are absent. He's completely agreeable with you and his usual temper isn't there either. Everyone plays the game in peace.
"You should save that card for later," Alhaitham tells you. "He can't do anything for the rest of the round anyway."
"Hmm… I'm not quite sure if that's what I want to do yet," you respond.
"Alright," he says. "You should do what you think is best."
"This guy…" Kaveh turns to you. "How do you get him to be like that? If it were any of us, he would've scolded us with a lengthy explanation about how we'd lose if we didn't follow his exact instructions."
"What? She can think for herself."
"And none of us can't?"
"I'm already familiar with how the three of you play and where you go wrong. I want to see if she does anything differently."
"It seems that he really does only compliment you, huh?" Tighnari tells you.
"Why would I do otherwise?" Alhaitham states.
His straightforward remark stuns them once again.
"Okay, we get it," says Kaveh. "We all know about your huge crush on her."
"Seems like you can't say anything bad about her even if you try," Cyno comments.
"Of course I can."
"You can?" you ask.
The whole table looks at you funny. You fiddle with the cards in your hand, pretending you weren't shocked for a split second.
"Interesting," says Cyno.
Alhaitham crosses his arms. "What is it?"
"I'm keeping my observations to myself for now."
Alhaitham raises a brow, but lets it go for the meantime.
A few rounds go by and you help set up for the next. When Alhaitham picks up a die for you from the floor, your hand brushes against his and the die falls off the table once more.
"What's wrong?" Alhaitham asks as he picks up the die again. "You're not usually this clumsy."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with me," you say.
He takes a closer look at you and you avoid his eyes. "Alright," he says. "You still ready to play?"
"I'll need to head out soon," Tighnari says. "It's my turn to be on patrol for tonight."
"Hold on," Cyno says, placing his cards on the table. "One last round. I'll be your opponent this time," he tells you.
You finish setting up the game and test your skills against Cyno. He certainly doesn't make it easy for you. You fall behind pretty quickly, but at least he's not as intimidating as when he played with some of the others.
"So," Cyno says, "what do you think of Alhaitham?"
Your eyes widen at his sudden question.
"You're straight up asking her?" says Kaveh.
"Why not?"
"I guess he has a point," says Tighnari.
They turn their attention to you to see what you'd say.
"Well…" you say, "he's very intelligent and talented."
"No, not what everyone else says," says Cyno. "What you think."
"What do you think you're doing?" asks Alhaitham. "Are you interrogating her right now?"
"Just let her answer the question."
"Well…" you say, "he's nice? And sweet?"
Cyno raises a brow.
"He's cute?"
"Pfft." Kaveh holds in his laughter.
Cyno ignores him and presses the question.
"I don't know how to respond," you tell him. "We've known each other for so long I can't just sum it up in a sentence."
"Alright. I'll get straight to the point," says Cyno. "What do you think of Alhaitham's feelings for you?"
"I think he should get to know other people… and try dating someone else?"
"See?" says Kaveh.
"I've already told you I'm not interested in anyone else," Alhaitham says.
"No, you should listen to her answer," Cyno tells him. "She's not lying."
"What?" Alhaitham widens his eyes.
"I'm not done yet," says Cyno. "There's more." He turns to you. "How serious do you think Alhaitham is about you?"
"He's definitely sincere."
"I'm pretty sure that was obvious," says Tighnari.
"But you don't take his feelings seriously," Cyno tells you.
"It's not that. It's just…"
"You don't?" asks Alhaitham.
"Alright. It's your turn from here," Cyno tells him.
"But I thought I was clear," Alhaitham tells you.
"You were."
"Apparently not clear enough."
"Look. You used to follow me around like a duckling whenever you weren't reading a book," you tell him. "How was I supposed to take your crush on me seriously?"
"It's been more than a decade since then."
"I... Okay, fair enough," you concede. "But it would disappear once you learned I didn't live up to your expectations."
"What expectations?" Alhaitham raises his brow.
"I don't know. That I'm this perfect woman that you've been pining for more than half your life. You'd know I'm not so great if you'd actually try liking someone else."
"Is that what you've been telling yourself?"
"You never say anything bad about me."
"Why would I want to talk about your flaws? Especially when I've been trying to win you over," he says. "Besides, aren't they obvious to you?"
"What?" You're genuinely surprised. "Like what?"
"Like how stupid you're being right now."
You freeze.
"Besides, I've been around you long enough," Alhaitham continues. "There's plenty I don't like. Like the way you cut me off at times–"
"What?"
"–or your atrocious style–"
"Okay, that one hurt a bit–"
"–or how stupid do you have to be to keep asking Kaveh for money –"
"Alright. I get it."
"–or that time you–"
"Okay! I get it! You like me!"
Kaveh looks at you as if you've grown another head. "How did you come to that conclusion? Are we even listening to the same conversation?"
"I think she's finally realized that his feelings were deeper than she initially thought," says Tighnari. "Especially since she knows that Alhaitham is still objective with her and not blinded with infatuation."
"That's right," Cyno says. "She's been the exception to his behavior for a long time. It makes sense she would think his judgment would be clouded with the information she had."
You hide your face from them. It's embarrassing how they read you like a book once your guard was down.
"I didn't expect the solution to be so simple," Alhaitham says.
He slips his hand into yours and you let out a little squeak. "You've also been wanting to hold my hand for some time haven't you?"
"Ugh. You're all smug now because you know that I return your feelings."
"I also don't like how you rearranged my bookcase."
"You can stop now."
"I think it's time for us to go," says Cyno.
"But we haven't finished our match yet," you tell him.
"I'll just forfeit this one."
"I'm with you on that," says Kaveh. "Anything before they start being gross with each other."
"I guess this is a good time for me to head out as well," says Tighnari.
The two of you are suddenly left alone at the table with a bunch of dice in front of you.
"Well, that's one way to win a match," Alhaitham tells you. "I'd say it's pretty ingenious actually."
You simply groan. You know what's coming.
"Do you want me to help you win every time?"
"Please don't."
*****
I hope you liked it. :)
This is one of those fics I wish had inline commenting like on Wattpad. I would've loved to see how everyone reacted at certain parts in real time but unfortunately Tumblr doesn't have that.
Anyway, you can find links to my masterlist and taglist on my pinned post if you want to check out more of my writing.
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mysecretlittlelibrary · 1 year ago
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Prettiest Sight
Pairing: Stucky x Reader
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: really just cockwarming technically, sort of exhibitionism/voyeurism, Bucky has a filthy mouth even in such a casual setting, honestly this isn't much compared to some of my others lol
Genre: fluff and smut
Summary: Steve wants to draw you and Bucky and you plan to let him
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***
You stride into your room humming to yourself as you finish a text. When you enter, Steve and Bucky are lounging around, Steve at the desk, and Bucky on the couch watching TV.
"Oh hey guys. I didn't realize you'd be back already." You say.
"We just went on a coffee run." Steve reminds you, tapping your coffee cup with his pencil.
"Well yeah I know but sometimes that shop gets busy." You shrug.
"Where did you get off to princess?" Bucky asks.
"Just had some laundry I thought I'd take care of while you were out. I just sat up there til I could put them into the dryer so I didn't forget." You explain grabbing your coffee from the table and taking a sip.
"Oh okay."
"What ya doin Stevie?" You ask looking over his shoulder where he's hunched over at your desk.
"Just some sketching." He mutters.
"He's been at it most of the morning. Even at the coffee shop, he was doodling away while we were waiting." Bucky tells you.
"Really?" You hum. "Can I see some of them?" You ask.
"They aren't like- great or anything just, trying some things." Steve mutters handing you the sketchbook. You flip through the drawings with wide eyes. Some of them are simple, outlines and such some barely more than shadows, but other pages are much more detailed, vivid depictions of places and things and the occasional person.
"These are impressive Stevie. You shouldn't sell yourself short." You tell him sitting down in Bucky's lap.
"Are these just strangers?" Bucky asks peaking at one of the drawings with an arm wrapped around your waist.
"Yeah- I don't draw people a lot but every once in a while I'll try." Steve shrugs.
"Well you could always draw us if you want the practice." You say with a wink. You're pretty sure he'll never actually take you up on the offer but you're not joking.
"Wanna draw us like one of your French girls Stevie?" Bucky smirks resting his chin on your shoulder.
"Don't tease. I was being serious." You lightly smack Bucky's thigh in reprimand.
"Actually- I did have this one idea." Steve mutters his cheeks tinged pink slightly.
"Really?" Bucky blinks at him.
"You wanna draw us?" Even you're surprised.
"If you guys don't mind."
"Of course we don't. What's the idea?" You ask. Steve doesn't answer immediately, but the tint in his cheeks is spreading in the space left after your question.
"Oh shit he really does want to draw us like Jack's French girls." Bucky laughs.
"Stop it." You roll your eyes. "Is that it Steve?"
"Well kind of. Unfortunately, my recollection isn't great otherwise I would just draw it from memory but- it's just that you always look so beautiful when Buck or I am filling you I thought it'd be a nice moment to immortalize." Steve explains and the revelation sends a shiver down your spine and has your core clenching slightly.
"Oh." You breathe out.
"You- wanna draw us with her sitting on my dick?" Bucky asks and you almost squirm at his words, the imagery now vividly at the forefront of your mind.
"It's a real pretty sight." Steve says.
"I mean I know it is Steve I'm just- surprised. You've never been one for that kind of exhibitionistic interest." Bucky says.
"Whatever man." Steve rolls his eyes. "Y/n? What are you thinking?" He asks you hesitantly.
 "I mean I'm not- against it. You just want me like in Bucky's lap?" You ask.
"Yeah pretty much."
"Well if Bucky's fine with it-"
"You'll never have to convince me to do something that involves you on my dick." Bucky shrugs.
"You are so vulgar." You roll your eyes.
"You had no problem with my vulgarity last night princess." Bucky kisses the back of your neck.
"Down boy." You joke. "Stevie you wanna give this idea of yours a try or what?"
"Now?" He blinks.
"Yeah why not? We're all here and you've got your sketchpad." You shrug. "Just tell us what to do and we can make it happen."
"O- okay, well you'll need to strip." Steve says.
"Risque." Bucky jokes as you climb off of his lap to tug off your shorts and t-shirt.
"You too Bucky." Steve says.
"Can do." Bucky winks at Steve shuffling down his jeans and pulling his shirt over his head.
"Actually- y/n put on one of our shirts that you've highjacked." Steve says.
"Hey you guys leave your clothes in here half the time." You protest but you grab one of Steve's shirts from your drawer anyway. You put it on and walk back over to Bucky on the couch.
"And the other half of the time you just go into our rooms and take things." Bucky says tapping your butt lightly. You stick your tongue out at him in response and he chuckles.
"Anyway, do you need a little warm-up y/n?" Steve asks.
"A warm-up?" You ask.
"Well yeah- you'll be sitting for a little bit, you both need to be somewhat comfortable." Steve says as if it's obvious.
"Oh." It's all you can come up with in response.
"Come here doll, let's get you ready hm, although- I'd bet you're already dripping for us like always." Bucky spins you to face him, a hand wrapping around your thigh, fingers settling incredibly close to your center. Close enough that if he stretched the digits he'd be touching, but where they are now it's just enough for you to be hyperaware of the closeness.
"Now's really not the best time for one of your games Bucky." Steve cautions.
"There's never a bad time for those." Bucky winks. Steve rolls his eyes which only makes Bucky's smirk widen as if he has every intention of riling you both up.
"This is supposed to be about me drawing you two babe, can't do that if you're just gonna make a mess of her til she's begging for both of us." Steve says and you almost want to abandon the drawing in favor of that when he says it.
"Alright I'll be nice." Bucky concedes tapping against your thigh lightly. The action instinctually has your legs spreading enough for him to slip two fingers between your slick folds. "Just like I thought, so wet before anyone even had to touch you. Always so ready for us." Bucky hums as he pumps his fingers in and out of you slowly, stretching you. You can't help the small whimpers and moans that fall from your lips at Bucky's ministrations with both men watching intently. A few minutes of playing your body like a custom instrument have you unsteady on your feet and that's when Bucky withdraws. "I'd say you're ready." He says sliding his fingers into his mouth to lick them clean and the action makes your walls clench. You take a deep breath before speaking again.
"Do you want me facing you Stevie? Or should I be facing Bucky for this?" You ask.
"Face me sweetheart." Steve says. You nod and climb onto Bucky's lap straddling him with your back to Bucky. You take Bucky in your hand and he hisses but he can't dwell on the sweet grip of your fingers because in the next moment, you're sinking down onto him, the molten heat of your core envelops him like the sweetest torture. You take your time settling on top of him, 'unintentionally' grinding further against his erection until his hands squeeze warningly against your hip. "Behave you two. I'm serious about drawing you." Steve warns.
"Of course baby." You smile innocently at him.
"Alright- Bucky get comfortable but your legs need to be spread so I can actually see where you're joined oh and slip your hand into her shirt, cup one of her boobs. And you can put your other hand on her thigh." Steve gives you a series of directions which Bucky follows quickly. "Y/n you can lean back against him." Steve adds and you settle against Bucky's chest, and his head rests on your shoulder. "Good girl. Now you guys can just sit there while I draw."
"Do we gotta be quiet and still or-" Bucky trails.
"I mean as long as you don't move too much it's fine, and you can definitely talk, at least until I'm drawing your faces but I'll let you know when I'm at that point." Steve's already started sketching, his eyes darting from you and Bucky to his sketchpad. Bucky swipes his thumb across the nipple of your breast that's in his hand and you gasp at the sudden stimulation.
"Bucky-" You warn.
"Sorry doll, you're just impossible to resist." He hums pressing a kiss to your neck that makes a shiver run down your spine.
"You're insufferable." You scoff at him.
"You say that but I can feel you squeezing me at my teasing." He says.
"Settle down Bucky." Steve warns him although you doubt Bucky will listen. If you're lucky he'll save the teasing for after the drawing is finished but chances are you'll end up doing way more than sitting on his dick within the hour. Bucky can be quite patient but when it comes to you neither of them is particularly good at managing their insatiability. You'll be seriously surprised if Steve manages to finish his drawing before one or both of them decides this time is better spent forcing orgasms from you.
***
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halaboyz · 2 months ago
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did you like her in the morning?, yunho
ateez bf! yunho x fem! reader angst angst angst angst (pre-breakup) wc: 1.5k warnings: desperation idk, mentions of cheating, a whole lot of cursing, mention of k-word and d-word for the sake of the argument a/n: you voted for him YOU GOT IT ! this has two POVs, the other one (the actual arranged marriage) is here ! i think this hurts more idk !!! don't ask me ,, i alternately use jeong and yunho in the dialogues bc "jeong!!" feels a little bit more powerful and "yunho" seemed soft so don't bash my head for that !!
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"...Can we talk?" Yunho calls over the phone a few minutes of silence after the line got connected. He sounded awfully serious, yet so soft-spoken.
"Of course, Love. What time do you get home?" You coo, staying calm amidst the anxiety building up. "I've also got groceries I just picked up to cook so if you want to eat something, tell me,"
"No, y/n. I meant now. Can we talk now?" You hear him sigh, and you could make out in your head that he was slightly shaking his head and massaging his forehead.
"Okay, since you seem so head-straight about it. What is it?" You surrender, putting your groceries down and sitting on the couch. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. We just need to talk," Yunho quickly shuts you down, as if he was in a rush to let everything out. "I... I'm not going home."
"..Okay? We'll see each other tomorrow night though, right?"
"No, I meant I'm not going home. Anymore." And silence. It wasn't even supported with any explanation. Any kind, any type. As if you were just to accept what he's saying.
"What do you mean, Yunho?"
"I'm not going to go home anymore, y/n. Not anymore." It was that simple. It was just like that. Told like news, and he wasn't even fazed while you were nearly on your knees to understand.
"Love, I don't understand. What do you mean you're not coming home? Hmm?" Your voice wavered as you begged for him to say something.
"I'm not going home anymore, y/n. What's so hard to understand?" He exasperatingly replies, making you furrow your brows.
"I asked what you fucking meant! Make me understand, Yunho! You can't just drop a bomb like this and act like I'm the dumb one here!" You exclaim through the phone, jumping on your feet and then going back and forth the living room and the front door. "I know we're not getting along the past few weeks but god, Yunho. Let's at least work it out,"
"I'm getting engaged, y/n." You wait. You wait, and wait, and wait. For further excuses. Further explanations. Anything. If you thought that the words 'I'm not going home anymore,' was a bomb, this was self-destruction. You shouldn't have asked, huh?
But when it was followed with nothing but silence and his sighs, you scoff in disbelief.
"...That's it?" You just... held on. He was being ridiculously funny that an insignificant, lifeless laugh comes out of you.
"Dad set us up."
"So, that's it?" You reply quickly when all he does was take his time sculpting an acceptable answer, but he was greatly failing at it. So when you replied that quickly, he doesn't try anymore. "Come home, Yunho."
"No, y/n."
"Come home and fucking explain looking at me in the eyes, Yunho. I'm not going to make any engagement happen if you're not going to come home, Jeong. So come home if you really want that and, end us. I'll even pack your things with my own two fucking hands," And you were stern. Yet you mean the other way around.
Just to prove something, you don't want him to come home. So that no engagement was going to happen in your territory. As you end the call in a hurry, you fall down to your knees as you sob, it was better to sob all by yourself than have Yunho standing in front of you in minutes, hours...
To which he is.
As you were hugging your knees, unable to move from your place on the floor leaning on the couch, you hear your front door opening to your horror.
Yunho, standing tall and mighty before you, as if he even dropped everything just to come home. To come home and end everything; to come home and ruin you.
He stared right at you, love long left his eyes. It was clear through your teary eyes, and it wasn't as hard for him to let go as it was with you.
"You want to leave so bad you really came home, huh?" A chuckle of some sort leaves your lips, wiping your tears.
"Are we going to make things hard for the both of us, y/n?" He starts, and he doesn't break eye contact as he slowly steps closer to you. Close enough to hear him better, far enough not to reach him to hold him back.
"It's not hard for me though, Yunho." You say out, coming as a whisper that shakes. "It's not hard for me holding on to you, Yunho. I've loved you all these years and we've had rough patches too, but it was never hard for me to always, always choose you."
You've come to think Yunho's silence was a tinge of hesitation, or so you hope. Because Yunho doesn't respond.
"You don't look like you're having a hard time too, only that we meant totally different things." You chuckle lifelessly, sniffing. "You don't look like you're having a hard time letting go of the woman you dated for five years."
"Y/n. Stop it. It wasn't an easy decision,"
"Wasn't an easy decision, for whom, Jeong?!" You've risen up to your feet to step closer to him and have him a good look of your disheveled appearance. "You're twenty-five for fuck's sake! Would your dad kill you if you went against him for once?!"
Your pushes were harsh and so you wanted it to be painful as well. But god you wished these number of pushes that hurt him amounted to the pain you were also carrying.
"Would you die if you fought for us once, Jeong?!" Yunho tries grabbing your arms but you only broke away. "You gave them the right of the decision, but how about me, Jeong?! How about me?! Am I invisible or something?! Because for all I know, I'm still fucking here!" Falling to your demise as your knees hit the floor once again.
And Yunho just watches.
"...I'm still here, Yunho..." Your hands grab his index finger ever so desperately to hold on to him. It was like hanging to your life. Because everyone knows he was your life. He was someone you'd choose a hundred times over, return to earth for, and die a million times for.
Yet he can't do anything for you. He can't fight for you, he can't stay for you, he can't.
"I wish you'd fight for us like how I do, Yunho..." You sob helplessly, leaning your forehead into his hand that you held.
Yunho watches. Just watches. You had no idea how he felt, or what he was thinking. You don't even get to think about that. You were overwhelmed with your own, so how could you even think of him now?
"We were meant to end this way or that way, y/n," Yunho mumbles, head turning to his side to avoid looking at you.
"...So you took the way you'd ruin me best," You nod unknowingly, hands slowly slipping away from his finger. "Okay."
Yunho looks at you, and how your hands slowly dropped.
"Leave." It barely leaves your lips. You don't want him to, of course, but you were done.
You were done fighting for someone who can't do the same for you. You were done holding on to something you're only slipping away on.
With courage, you meet his eyes once again as you stretch your neck up in dejection. And for the first time when Yunho step inside your shared apartment, you saw emotion in his eyes.
That is, of empathy.
He looked at you as if you were such a pitiful thing, in denial of what he made you.
In ruins. Who was taking each of her broken parts and hugging it all in desperation to keep it and everything together.
He made you like that. And now was he thinking that this is the reason why he took the easy way out.
Because if you took much longer to stay, to find more reasons to love each other, and someday just find you or Yunho in this position of yours, in despair, in shambles, and probably much even worse, he'll take the easy way out. He always will.
And you didn't deserve that now, nor will you ever.
"Leave," So you glue all your broken parts and glare at the man you loved, you once ever so loved, stern in tone and harsh in glare. "And like I said, I'll even pack all of your things for you. So leave, Jeong."
You may or may not have, still, prayed for him to stay. For the last one.
But when he doesn't, and your met with his back scrambling to the front door and closing it, you can't help another surge of tears flow as your broken parts get much more broken than it was before.
So much for gluing it back together for a mere thirty seconds.
He left in thirty seconds.
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permanent taglist: @sunlightwoo
networks: @kflixnet
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