#and i love them all even if they're only one or two sentences
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literallyjusttoa · 2 days ago
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Realizing I also want to keep track of the songs Apollo mentions, so I'm gonna go back real quick and mention "You Send Me" by Sam Cooke, released in 1957, which he mentioned in chapter 2, and "Rise to the Sun" by Alabama Shakes, released in 2012, which he mentions in the opening of chapter 10. Listened to them both, and honestly, they're both great songs! And Rise to the Sun actually fits Apollo really well, I was genuinely surprised.
Going back also makes me realize that Apollo was going to sing an honest to god love song to stop Cade and Mikey. That image will stay with me for years, I think.
Rhea is described as dressing like a "Libyan queen of old" which is interesting, bc I couldn't find any reference to Rhea being an important figure during the period where Ancient Greece had footholds in the region. What's interesting though, is that Apollo definitely was. One of the two cities Greeks established in Libya was Cyrene, and some myths even call the native Libyans the founders of both Delos and Delphi. So like, I have no idea where Rick got the idea of Rhea being connected to Libya, but it helped me learn new things, so that's cool!
Another anecdote: When Apollo drives the sun chariot as a bus, Hermes always sits in the back, because that's where troublemakers sit.
The way Apollo describes his physical state, I'm convinced he's just constantly in excruciating pain. Like, all he does is get off the cot in the Apollo cabin, and he says that his "eyes felt as if they were being microwaved in their sockets." Bestie, what? Are you dying, wtf lmao?
Anecdote: Apollo once attempted target practice in Zeus' throne room. That feels like it might have been a more pointed thing.
Apollo sees Nero in his dreams for the first time in chapter 10, but he doesn't recognize him yet. He spends the rest of the chapter simply referring to him as "The man in the purple suit", "The ugly mauve-suited man", and simply "the ugly man" King behavior, honestly.
I know I made a post about it a while ago, but I still can't get over Apollo's outrageous claim of 33 mortal girlfriends and 11 mortal boyfriends. He has past that in Ancient Greek lovers alone lmao.
Rick does a really good job of writing these long flowing internal monologues for Apollo, only to cut them off with a short sentence that both allows for an easy transition out of Apollo's head and back to the action of the scene, but also simulates Apollo getting distracted in his own ramblings and then abruptly coming back to reality. Like, he goes on for three paragraphs about Nico and will, and then his past loves, and then his embarrassment over sharing his love for Hyacinthus and Daphne, only to end it all off with the short line "I am so confused." and then we're right back into the scene. It's a really great comedic bit, and it does wonders for Lester's characterization. (Also my god does Lester read so much like he has ADHD. Almost more than Percy to me, but then I think Lester's flavor of ADHD is much more similar to my own than Percy's is)
Anecdote: Apollo cosplayed Rocky at midnight showings of Rocky Horror Picture Show. Queen.
Apollo mentions that he filmed the orientation film on "a tight budget in the 1950's" which like, why? Maybe it's mentioned in the supplemental books somewhere, but why would a god ever be put on a budget for something lmao?
"Had I been a god, I would have turned her into a blue-belly lizard and released her into the wilderness never to be seen again. The thought soothed me." One, Apollo she is twelve dear god. Two, I love this as a character moment for Apollo (Stay with me here). Apollo comes from a culture that is so focused on strength and power and violence. The moment he loses control of a situation, he grasps for any way to get power back into his hands. And in these moments, his way of giving himself power is by reassuring himself that he could totally murder everyone here if he wanted to. Killing people is a way to assert control, it's a way that Zeus and the other gods assert control all the time. And there's an implication with Apollo using these lines too. By asserting that he can kill people, it's also an assertion that the people he is threatening cannot kill him. Idk it's just a very interesting way of coping.
Real quick fun fact! Lester describes the Oracle of Delphi in Greece as a "cavern filled with volcanic fumes" but that's not actually 100% correct. The oracle of Delphi in Ancient Greece was actually in the Temple of Apollo, with descriptions from ancient scholars putting her either in the cella or in an adyton that was below the main temple. There was a opening in the ground in this chamber, but it certainly wasn't a cave. Furthermore, the whole idea of Apollo fighting Python in a cave? From what I can tell, this is also not based in myth! Most descriptions of the fight between Apollo and Python that I can find in myth describe Python being coiled around the mountains of the Parnassus range, which is a terrifying image honestly. Just find it interesting that none of the cave stuff is actually a part of the Delphic Oracle. I mean, from what I can tell, the nearest mythologically important cave is the Corycian cave, which has nothing to do with the oracle and is also like a 45 minute drive away from Delphi.
I usually try to read three chapters before rb'ing, but I had so many notes on these two that I'm gonna cut it off here. Also, this has kind of just become pointing out shit I find interesting instead of focusing specifically on Lester-isms, but I'm def still gonna point those out, so the tag will stay. I just have so much to say about my little blorbo, sorry guys.
I think I'm gonna make a reblog chian of all the little phrases and Apollo uses throughout ToA, now that I'm rereading it. Bc like, he has such a unique way of speaking, and I really wanna dig into it, you know? Ok let's start.
He says "heavens help me" instead of "heaven help me" using the plural the same way demigods do with "oh my gods". I'm guessing this is an acknowledgment of other pantheons? Or I'm looking too far into it, I've just never heard this phrase with a plural "heavens" before.
He calls Cade and Mikey "Ruffians" . And he makes fun of the arrow for being Shakespearean.
He also refers to people as "Mortals" a lot here, which I remembered him doing, but now I want to keep track and see if he keeps that up throughout all the books, or if it peters out near the end.
"I thought how amusing it would be if I could make the snake tattoos around his neck come alive and strangle him to death" I honestly love how violent Apollo's thoughts can be sometimes. Like, you can tell he's someone who has done shit like this before.
I also want to keep track of all the little anecdotes Apollo brings up, so we'll start with the guitar contest against Chuck Berry in 1957, which apparently ended with him getting repeatedly stomped on.
"But something told me this was not she" II love how it's the little things that really get across how old Apollo is. Rick could've easily just said "It wasn't her" or something, but instead he had Apollo phrase this in a way that is far more formal, and more reminiscent of the grammatical patterns of old english. Idk it's just really cool.
(Side note that's not connected to Apollo: Meg's glasses are black? I feel like I've been living a lie, I've been coloring them red for years lol)
God his metaphors are just so striking. Like, I can imagine the phrase "Whatever was left of my pride turned into ice water and trickled into my socks" but I don't want to, because that's such a visceral feeling. I like that Apollo inadvertently proving how poetic he is by making the reader as uncomfortable as possible.
I think I'm gonna start crying out "Horrors!" when I'm upset to. I think I deserve that level of drama.
ahh the classic "My blessings upon you!" Again, I love how every little line characterizes him. Either it's overly formal, like before, or subtly arrogant, like here, or both. It's so fun.
I need to write him saying "Sacred Sibyl!" more. Because that is such a fun little term. Rolls right off the tongue, honestly.
I think I'm gonna leave it there for now, but trust that I will definitely be adding more to this later. Bc Lester-speak is so fun to really look into.
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ramblingoak · 2 years ago
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WIP Tagging Game
Thank you to @sweatandwoe for calling me out tagging me, you're cruel the best I'm so sad happy we're friends xoxo
RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder (art, fics or both), regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Tag as many people as you have WIPs.
(these aren't all of my wips but these are the ones with the most amount of work/ideas)
The Cardinal’s Bride
Mr. Casino’s Bride
Slutty but misunderstood yeehaw terzo (answered here)
What’s your emergency
Gym bro secondo
Secondo with hair and whisky (answered here)
Cardinal terzo because yeah (answered here)
Everyone is sick comfort fic
A petal for your thoughts (answered here)
The impera witch project (answered here)
A dark song (answered here)
World’s biggest frying pan (answered here)
Came back haunted
Gonna tag @kissingghouls @writingjourney @ghostchems @cynibuns @nocturnal-birb @namelessdrool But ya know if you see this feel free to share your wips, no matter what they are! I love to see them 💙💙
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shorlinesorrows · 10 months ago
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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.
do you see my vision?
#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying#“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME#neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry#i need them to be friends#i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand#i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences#and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them#and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set#and make them their own#they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life#the mcs ever#at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker#and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating#the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people#the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise#cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away#kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self#anyway i'm going insane how yall doing#neil josten#jean moreau#all for the game#the sunshine court
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jakesimfromstatefarm · 15 days ago
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no doubt ── s. jy
↳ summary ── struggling to balance a world tour, endless responsibilities, and...well, the sting of getting dumped by his girlfriend, jake finds peace & comfort confiding in you—one of his closest friends. what begins as lighthearted late-night phone calls while he's away on tour deepens into something more, quickly pulling you both into uncharted emotional territory. as your connection with jake intensifies, so does your inner turmoil—torn between the comfort of your easy relationship with him and the terrifying possibility of falling for someone you're not even sure you can have in the first place. but jake? jake has absolutely no doubt of what he wants—and spoiler alert? it's you.
↳ pairing ── jake x f!reader, [ft. childhoodbestfriend!jungwon, bestfriends!enha]
↳ genre ── idol!jake, friends to lovers!au || angstttt, fluff, crack
↳ ✎ᝰ. 23.7k [never beating the allegations of getting too attached to my works and having too much fun writing i fear...]
↳ contains ── angst! very angsty but only after a lot of fluff...the cheesy cringe type but then it goes downhill real quick...but happy ending i swear!, mentions of insecurities, maybe one or two curse words, fic starts with jake dating og character named jenn, the use of pet names, jungwon practically plays therapist, jake is absolutely whipped for reader but is terrible at communication and a certified idiot . also jungwon is reader's best friend so the beginning sets up the context for that lolz
↳ addie's ✉ .ᐟ ── she's DONEEE [do u hear me crying in the background]...so some backstory lore abt this fic—basically two years ago i had a dream about the ~angsty scene~ of this fic and ever since then, i've had this itch of putting it into words. and when i finally decided to do it, no doubt came out and i thought it was literal fate since the lyrics match the vibe so well...don't tell me it isn't fate guys :') anyways..this is a little different than my typical writing style even though of course i had to include summm crack..but i am still nervous abt how it came out so i really really hope you guys like it :') thank u for all the support and love always <3
.���。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
You and Yang Jungwon were literally born to be best friends.  
Like, there was no other option.  
Your mom? Their high school's poster child for academic perfection—top of her class, president of every club imaginable, a certified teacher's pet.  
Jungwon's mom? Their high school's unofficial social chair—life of the party, karaoke queen, probably responsible for half the faculty's headaches. 
Nothing alike. 
So naturally, of course, they were inseparable. By their junior year, they'd already started planning their futures together, including one very specific and totally realistic goal that all teenage girl best friends make when they're young:  
"We should have our first kids around the same time and force them to be best friends!"  
"Oh my gosh, yes," Jungwon's mom agreed enthusiastically. "Like, we'll make them share everything! Matching outfits, playdates, joint birthday parties!"  
But what your moms didn't realize as they were giggling over the playful promise that probably didn't hold any meaning to them at the age of 17? 
The universe was taking notes.  
So fast forward a couple decades later, and there you were, baby best friends from birth, fulfilling the shared dream of your mothers—the true puppeteers in this scenario.  
All your moms had to do was execute their promise as planned, but the rest of it? The rest of it was easy.  
You and Jungwon clicked before you even knew what words were, communicating in a series of shared giggles and unintelligible baby noises. By the time you turned two, you were finishing each other's sentences in your made-up gibberish language, and by preschool, the bond was unshakable. 
You two—just like your moms—were inseparable.  
By high school, everyone knew you were a package deal—where you went, Jungwon followed, and vice versa. So, when he announced your sophomore year that he was leaving to compete on a televised idol survival show, you were, understandably, skeptical.  
"Are you sure it's not a scam?" You had asked, rolling lazily around on his bed while he scrambled around his room, packing his bags.  
"It's not a scam," Jungwon laughed, carefully folding his clothes. 
"Did they ask for your social security number?"  
"Y/N."  
"Exactly. I'm just saying—if you end up on one of those exposé documentaries about fake talent shows, don't say I didn't warn you."  
Despite your teasing, you knew how much this meant to him. Jungwon had been dreaming about being in the music spotlight since he figured out how to work a karaoke machine at the age of six.  
So when he eventually did make his debut with his group, you weren't surprised at all—it was inevitable, written in the stars, just like how your friendship with him was.
What did surprise you, though, was how seamlessly you got roped into his new world.  
Sure, Jungwon's life got infinitely busier overnight, but there is no universe that exists in which he'd forget about you—his non-conjoined twin, ride-or-die, and ultimate life-long nuisance (his words, not yours).  
And so naturally, you became an honorary member of this new life of his. The boys' practice studio might as well be your new home—the endless days camping out on the floor of their dance studio with your head in your textbooks while they drilled their choreography for the hundredth time proved that. Or maybe how you crash on their dorm couch so often that Sunoo coined you your new nickname: their unofficial eighth member.  
Which brings you to now: a marketing major by day, unofficial idol by night, and, as always, a certified magnet to chaos.
Case in point? Whatever madness was happening around you at this exact moment.  
"Okay, but hear me out," Heeseung says, gesturing dramatically with his pizza slice—one of many scattered across the coffee table everyone was sitting around. "Pineapple is the perfect combination of sweet and savory—"  
"It's a crime against humanity," Sunghoon cuts in. 
Tomorrow? The boys leave for their five-month tour.  
Tonight? Tonight is tradition: the pre-tour pizza bash.  
Naturally, it's chaos, as no one has bothered with the last-minute packing they're supposed to be doing.  
Not a single bag is packed.  
"It's fruit on bread," you scrunch your nose, taking a bite of your own normal pepperoni pizza. "This isn't dessert, Hee."  
"Thank you!" Sunghoon reaches across the table to high-five you. 
From the couch behind you, Jake chuckles and nudges your back with his knee, "Big talk coming from someone who claims pickles belong on everything."  
"Uh, because they do," you whip your head around to glare at him. "Pickles are versatile."  
"Versatile my ass," Jungwon mumbles from his spot beside you. "I love you, but you're deranged."  
"Look who's talking, Mr. 'I-put-hot-sauce-on-everything'," you shoot back, eyes narrowing at your best friend. Everyone chuckles from around the table at your dramatic, yet endearing, overreaction. 
"Hot sauce is different," Jay chimes in without even looking up from his phone. "It's an enhancer."  
"Pickles enhance flavor too!"  
"By making everything taste like vinegar," Sunoo deadpans from your other side. "Gross."  
"Whatever," you roll your eyes. "You're all uncultured."  
"And you're a menace," Jake quips from behind you, his voice dripping with amusement. You don't even have to turn around to see the smirk on his face—you can hear it loud and clear. 
"Careful, Sim," you say with a sly glance over your shoulder. "Keep talking, and I'll start adding pickle juice to your coffee."  
The room fills with laughter, but before Jake can fire back, his phone buzzes aggressively against the couch. You watch him glance down at his screen before his playful smile instantly fades.  
"I'll be right back," Jake mutters, getting up and heading towards the kitchen without another word.  
You frown as you watch him disappear around the corner, the sudden shift in his mood gnawing at you, and you can't help but wonder what's gotten under his skin. 
After a few more minutes of heated debates over pizza toppings—and yet another round of everyone ganging up on your weird pickle obsession—you decide it was time for a drink refill.  
Excusing yourself, you step into the kitchen, only to find Jake leaning against the counter, his arms crossed and gaze fixed on the empty wall in front of him. His phone sits abandoned on the counter, screen dark.  
"Jake?" You call out softly, approaching slowly. 
Your voice breaks through his haze, his expression flickering as he registers you standing in the doorway, your brows furrowed in concern.  
"What's going on?" You ask, moving closer to stand in front of him.   
"Nothing," Jake says too quickly, forcing a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
You give him a look and he knows that you know he's lying, "Jake.."  
He exhales, his expression crumbling as he runs a hand through his hair, "Just...Jenn called."  
Ah. Of course. Jenn.  
You almost flinch at the sound of the name, the weight it carries instantly souring your stomach. Jake's on-again, off-again girlfriend of two years was a constant source of heartbreak—not just for the poor boy, but for the entire group who helped pick up the pieces of his broken heart after every messy break-up…and even messier make-up.  
"She broke up with me," Jake admits quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. "For real this time. Something about me leaving for tour and how it wasn't going to work out."  
Your heart hurts at the sight of him in front of you—shoulders slumped, hands nervously twisting the hem of his shirt, as if trying to distract himself from the conversation.  
"Oh, Jake...," you murmur, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder as you lean against the counter next to him.  
"I'm fine," he insists, waving it off, but the expression on his face clearly betrays him.  
"No, you're not," you say, trying to catch his eyes. "And that's okay."  
Jake lets out a shaky breath, finally looking up from the ground to look at you, before shrugging, "I don't even know why I’m surprised. We've been...really off for a while now. Like, more than usual. But still, it sucks."  
“Of course, it sucks," you nod, agreeing softly. "You guys were together for a long time. You cared about her."  
For a moment, the two of you sit in a heavy silence with an unspoken understanding, the only sounds coming from the muffled chatter and laughter in the other room. You stay close, letting him process without pushing further.  
Still, you can't entirely suppress the annoying flare of emotions bubbling in your chest—a tangled knot of sympathy and…something else. Relief, maybe? Not that you would ever wish any sort of pain on Jake—but you hate the way Jenn always leaves him like this: drained, doubting himself, and trying to piece together what went wrong, where he went wrong. 
"Come back to the living room," you say finally, nudging his side gently. "Ni-ki is freaking out over which hoodies to pack. And I swear, they're all the same black hoodie."  
Jake lets out a small, tired laugh, "You don't need me for that. He's gonna end up packing all of them, just watch."  
"You don't know that," you tease. "Besides, I need someone's back up to help me convince him he's not actually going through an emo phase."  
His eyes carry a faint smile as he looks at you, the corners of his lips lifting just enough to remind you of the warmth he usually carries.  
"Okay," he says in a whisper, pushing himself off the counter.  
You start towards the doorway, forgetting about your drink refill entirely, but his voice stops you.  
"Y/N?"  
You turn to find him still standing there, his eyes filled with warmth and appreciation.  
"Thanks," he adds, a small smile on his face. It's such a simple statement, but the way he says it—soft, sincere, and maybe just a little desperate—makes something twist in your stomach. "For just...always being here."  
You smile back up at the boy, "Of course, Jake. I'll always be here for you. You know that."  
For a moment, he holds your gaze, as if taking a mental note of something. Then he nods, his shoulders relaxing.
"Okay," he says, exhaling as he gestures toward the doorway. "Let's go.”
You follow behind the boy back to the living room, silently hoping he knows just how much you mean your promise to him.  
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Jake's body is on autopilot at this point.  
Another city, another show, another string of flashing lights and deafening cheers. It's a month into tour, and the endless loop of responsibilities has left him no room to just breathe.  
And he loves this life—he really does. But tonight, for reasons he can't explain, the adrenaline that usually keeps him afloat isn't enough. Pure exhaustion lingers in his bones, heavier than the applause and screams echoing in his memory, and he just can’t seem to shake it. 
When his head finally hits the stiff hotel pillow, Jake exhales with a heavy sigh. The city around him is alive, the neon lights brightly dancing against his windowpane, but he feels none of it. 
Instead? He just feels the weight of homesickness and the ache of being alone. 
Normally, he would push through, shove these thoughts into the back of his mind, call it a night. But tonight, the ache feels different—sharper, louder—and before he knows it, his phone is in his hand before he can talk himself out of it, his thumb hovering over your name on his screen. 
A familiar battle wages in his mind, one he’s been battling more recently ever since tour became a little heavier on him. Slowly, the quiet yearning has been creeping in, and he’s been missing home more and more, craving the feeling of familiarity. But it isn’t just the physical places or the comfort of his regular routine that he craves. 
It’s something else, something harder to name. 
And for some other reason he can’t seem to explain, he thinks it’s you. 
Jake doesn’t know when it started. Maybe it was hearing the sound of your voice through the phone whenever the guys called you to check in every now and then. Or maybe it was the way you would text in their shared group chat, your messages always tinged with humor or a sense of calm that somehow made everything feel a little less overwhelming. 
Whatever it was, it stuck with him. He finds himself craving that unexplainable comfort only you seem to bring. He tells himself it’s nothing special, just the natural pull of familiarity. You’re back at home, the place he misses the most, so obviously, through association, it makes sense. 
It’s logical. Nothing more. 
That’s what he tells himself as his thumb hovers over your name. It’s not about you specifically—it couldn’t be. It’s just the connection to home. The grounding warmth of your voice. The way you somehow make the distance feel a little less suffocating. 
Obviously. Nothing more. 
He presses call.  
Two rings. That's all it takes before your voice cuts through all the static in his head. Groggy, soft, and achingly familiar. Like home.  
"Jake? It's late, is everything okay?"  
Jake glances at the clock. 10:13PM where he is. Much later for you, he imagines. Guilt stirs, but...  
He doesn't want to hang up. 
Hearing your voice feels like the first breath of air after surfacing from deep water. He instantly feels more comfortable despite the heaviness in his chest.
"Hey," he mumbles, his voice quiet. "I'm okay. Just...needed to hear a friendly voice, I guess."  
"Wow, are the boys that bad that you need to call me?" You tease warmly, despite the sleepiness lingering in your words.  
Jake chuckles, the sound low and tired, "Nothing against them, really. It's just...sometimes you need someone who reminds you of home, you know?"  
The other end of the line goes quiet for a moment. He can hear you shuffle, and he braces himself for a teasing comment about him being sappy and sentimental. But instead, your voice softens.  
"Well, I'm glad I could be that for you," your voice telling him you're smiling brightly on the other side of the screen. "Though if I had a private jet, I'd send it right now. Bring you back instantly."  
"A private jet, huh?" Jake's eyes flutter close as he's engulfed into the usual, playful rhythm that's always there between the two of you. "You'd do that for me?"  
"Only if you bring back goodies, preferably snacks," you quip back, and the warmth in his chest grows.  
There's another pause, the kind that feels comfortable rather than awkward. Jake shifts in his spot and before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “How do you do that?”  
“Do what?” 
“Make everything feel...lighter. Like, I can’t explain it, but just hearing you makes me feel like I’m not carrying all this stuff by myself.” 
Your voice softens at his sudden vulnerability. 
“Because you don't have to carry it all on your own, Jake. You know that, right? That’s what friends are for."  
Jake hums in response, a low sound of acknowledgement as he keeps his phone pressed close, your voice instantly soothing the heavy emotions he's been carrying. 
"You sound exhausted," you say after a beat, your tone cautious but filled with genuine care. "How are you holding up? With everything—the tour, the...break-up, just...you?"  
Jake lets out a low groan, his fingers brushing through his hair. "You sound like my mom."  
"Well, someone has to," you tease lightly, a relieved laugh slipping into your voice, as if you'd been afraid you overstepped. "Seriously, Jake. Are you doing okay?"  
Jake hesitates, the question catching him off guard. He hadn't let himself think too much about Jenn or the breakup since leaving for tour a month ago. The boys knew better than to bring it up, and Jake had been grateful for that—for the distraction.  
But now, with you, it feels different. 
Safer, easier. Natural.  
“Honestly? I don’t know,” he sighs, the sound heavy through the phone. “Some days it feels like I’m fine, like I’ve moved on, and other days...it’s like I’m stuck in this loop of ‘what ifs.’ Like, what if I did something different? Or..."  
He trails off to a pause, his throat tight, before he finally admits to you, and himself, "...what if I just wasn't enough?"  
“Jake,” you say gentle but firm, cutting through his spiraling thoughts. “You are enough. You've always been enough. Jenn...she just wasn’t the right person for you. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.” 
He swallows hard, your words settling into the cracks he didn't even realize were there. 
"Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. It's just...hard, you know? Haven't really talked about it since it happened. But talking to you helps—a lot."  
“I’m glad." He can hear the quiet sincerity in your words. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing an amazing job. With tour, with...everything. You've got this, Jake. I’m really proud of you.”
Jake lets out a breathy laugh, the warmth in your words settling something in his chest—a knot he didn't even realize was there. 
“You always know what to say, don’t you?” 
“It’s a gift,” you easily reply, and he can hear the grin in your voice, the easy banter making him feel lighter.  
"I missed this," the words tumble out before he can stop himself. Then he quickly adds, as if to explain himself, "It's weird not having you around. The boys are great and all, but you give the best advice. Don't tell them that."  
You giggle on your end, the sound making Jake's lips curve into a small smile and his heart twists.  
In both a comforting and terrifying way. 
"I miss it too," your voice quieter now. "But I'm here. You know that, right? Even if you're on the other side of the world, or if you call me at four in the morning like you're doing right now."  
Jake lets out a chuckle followed by a sleepy groan, "Sorry about that. But...thank you, Y/N. For picking up."  
"Always," you reply, and he hopes you mean it.  
A beat passes. Jake knows he should hang up, that he should let you sleep. He tries to convince himself that you need the sleep more than he needs this call.  
But he can't help himself.  
"You'll yell at me if I don't sleep, won't you?"  
"Absolutely. Go to bed, Jake. Or at least try. Zombie mode doesn't suit you."  
"Fine," he sighs dramatically, but his eyes feel heavier and he knows he's falling asleep, the tension in his body from before easing away. "But only because you scare me sometimes."  
You laugh. "Good. Now get some rest. And call me whenever you need to, okay?"  
"Okay," he mumbles into his phone quietly, his mind already slipping into a deep sleep. 
"Goodnight, Y/N."  
"Goodnight, Jake."  
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"Don't you have a bedtime, Sim Jaeyun?" You tease, answering the call. The clock reads 1:27AM, and you should be asleep—you really should—but you smile anyways when Jake's name appears on your screen.  
"Bedtime? I don't know her," his voice slightly groggy, but as usual, still warm. "Besides I knew you'd be awake. You don't sleep like a normal person either."  
You roll your eyes, knowing fully well he can't see it, "Yeah, well, I don't have to dance around a stage for two hours tomorrow."  
"True, but you do have to deal with my constant calls and keep me entertained. That's way harder."  
"Oh yeah, obviously," you say with mock seriousness. "Being your emotional support human is a full-time job." 
“Emotional support human,” Jake repeats, chuckling softly. “You’re right. I guess I really owe you, huh?”
“Oh, 100%,” you shoot back, a grin in your voice. “I want one of those tour hoodies you guys keep posting with.” 
“Done. What size?” 
"The oversized one."  
Jake pauses. “Let me guess—so you can sleep in it?"  
You hesitate, suddenly sheepish at how he knows you too well, “Hey, it's only cozy if it's oversized!"  
You hear his soft laugh on the other end of the line. 
“Cute. I’ll make sure to steal one for you.” 
You try not to overanalyze the way your stomach flips at the word cute, and the easy way he says it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.  
You shake the thought off immediately. This wasn't new, after all, Jake's always warm and easy to talk to. But lately—over the past month of phone calls—the way he says certain things, the tone he says them in, and the way they make you feel? It carried a weight you weren't sure how to hold.  
In both a comforting and terrifying way.  
“So, how was your day?” you suddenly bring up, trying to redirect your thoughts. 
"Tiring," Jake sighs, his voice muffled as he shifts around in bed. "And Jungwon keeps beating me at Mario Kart during our break time. My pride is in shambles, Y/N."  
"Let me guess," you smirk, repeating his words from earlier. "He picks Yoshi, and you keep picking Toad because you think he's underrated."  
"Excuse me," Jake scoffs. "Toad is underrated. But, for your information, I choose Toad because your go-to character is Toadette."  
Your heart does that stupid flip again. His words are light—I mean, you guys are talking about Mario Kart for god's sake—but it's stuff like that that keeps you questioning the true meaning behind his words.
You ignore the feeling, instead, a laugh bubbles up in response, an attempt to sound unaffected.
"You're so weird."  
“But you like it,” he quips, voice dipping just slightly, like he’s testing the waters. 
You're caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone, but you recover just as quickly. 
"Debatable."  
“Liar.”
His tone is teasing, but there's something softer behind it, “You wouldn’t still be on the phone with me if you didn’t like me at least a little.” 
“Maybe I’m just bored,” you shoot back, though your cheeks are burning at his sudden forwardness, questioning if he’s serious or just messing with you. 
You hear him hum in response, "Then I guess I'll have to work harder to keep you interested."  
“Oh yeah? How are you planning to do that?” You try to match his teasing tone, but internally, you feel unsteady under the implication of his words. 
“By being my usual charming self, duh,” he says, his voice dropping into a smooth tone. “And, you know, calling you every night so you don’t forget about me.” 
Your heart squeezes. "You already do that, stupid. You think I'd forget about you?"  
“Never,” Jake's reply is immediate, almost instinctive, leaving no room for doubt. “But just in case…I like hearing your voice. Makes me feel like I’m not a million miles away.” 
His words linger in the space between you, heavier than the playful banter from earlier. You swallow hard, trying your best to keep your voice steady. 
“You’re not a million miles away, Jake.” 
“Feels like it,” he murmurs. You hear a pause in his voice, as if he's thinking hard about his next words. “I miss home. I miss...you." 
Your chest tightens, and your hands grip the sheets beneath you, as if the fabric could somehow ground you. Your heart is doing that thing again—the erratic, terrifying thing that makes you want to believe in something you're not sure is even real.  
And at the same time, your thoughts are scrambling to say something lighthearted before the conversation steers into that dangerous, dangerous territory you were sure you weren't ready for.  
Not yet.  
"Well, you better win at least one round of Mario Kart for me while you're out there," you force a laugh, trying to mask the tremor in your voice.  
Jake laughs, the sound genuine, "I'll try. But if I lose, just know I'm dedicating every race to you."  
"Wow, I'm so honored," you try to deadpan, but he can sense the grin in your voice.  
"You should be," his voice softens again. "Thanks for picking up tonight, by the way. I know it's late."  
He never fails to thank you every night, as if you haven't been picking up every day for the past month and won't be picking up tomorrow, and the next day...and the day after that.  
And, somehow, the same, genuine appreciation makes it so hard for you to ignore that weird, warm, fluttering sensation growing inside you every time you talk to him.  
But, regardless, you always give him the same reply: 
"Always," your voice matching his softness. "Call me whenever, okay?"  
"Don’t say that," Jake warns, the teasing edge creeping back into his tone. "I'll actually do it."  
"Fine," you giggle. "But if you call me at four in the morning again, I'm putting my phone on Do Not Disturb." 
"Deal." He pauses, then adds, "Goodnight, Y/N."  
"Goodnight, Jake."  
As you hang up, you stare at your phone for a moment longer than you should have, your room feeling oddly quiet and too empty without his voice.  
It's just another call, Y/N. Just another call between two friends.  
But deep down, a part of you tells you it isn’t that simple anymore.  
And maybe—just maybe—he knows it too.  
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“Are you busy?” Jake’s voice sounds more tired than usual, heavy with an overwhelming amount of tension. 
“Never too busy for our calls,” you easily reply without hesitation as you lay back in your bed, phone close to your ear. Your voice is light, a stark contrast to the weariness laced in his, and when he doesn’t respond with his typical chuckle, you immediately sense his mood. “Hard day?” 
He exhales slowly, the weary sound answering your question. Today was a lot. Hours of rehearsal followed by a concert, the adrenaline rush of performing, followed by the chaos of having the guys’ hotel information leaked. Crowds of paparazzi and fans swarmed the entrance, the relentless flashes of cameras breaking through whatever little pieces of calm he had left within him. The noise, the pressure, the endless cycle—all spiraled into a mental mess he doesn’t seem to shake. 
The second he settled into his hotel room, all Jake knew was that he needed to talk to you—the one person who could steady his racing thoughts. 
"I just...I didn't think this would get to me, you know? The cameras, the people, the flashes in my face—I'm just—it's like I'm never alone."  
Your heart twists at the vulnerability and rawness in his voice, as if he’s admitting something for the first time—not just to anyone else, but to himself. 
"I—I don't know. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear, just for a little while. Just to breathe, you know?"  
You close your eyes, your grip on the phone unconsciously tightening as if it could anchor him somehow.  
"I know it's not the same," your voice steady, even as you internally ached for him, "but...you can disappear with me, Jake. Even if it's just through the call. No cameras. No noise. Just...you and me."  
He lets out an exhale—shaky, but relieved.  
"You're really good at this. Making me feel like it's all gonna be okay."  
"Because it is going to be okay, Jake," you reply softly. "You're not alone, Jake. Not with me."  
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, and he wishes more than anything else in this moment that he actually was with you. “I know.” 
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"Jake," you groan, sitting cross-legged on your bed, staring at the flustered boy through your laptop screen. "I'm begging you—just wear the black jacket. It's literally impossible to mess up black."  
"But what about the beanie?" He whines as he pops back into view, his face scrunched up in genuine distress. "Do you think I can pull it off, or will I look like I'm trying too hard? Be honest, Y/N."  
What started as a simple fashion-advice-question over the phone turned into a two-hour wardrobe emergency—all because Jake couldn’t figure out what to wear to the airport the next day (because, apparently, airport fits matter—his words, not yours).
"Jake, you could wear a literal trash bag to the airport and fans would still lose their minds," you tease, biting back a laugh. 
He rolls his eyes at you, but the smile tugging at his lips says otherwise.  
"Okay, but seriously, you’re trying too hard. Just go with the jacket, no beanie," you add on, just to end this two-hour long madness.  
"Hmm," Jake plops on his bed and turns towards his phone camera, and you swear you can see the pout forming on his lips. "But I already posted a preview of the jacket last week. Isn't that, like, repetitive?"  
"Jake,” you blink at him, "it's an airport. Not a fashion show."  
He stares at you for a beat, then lets out a dramatic sigh, "Fine! Jacket, no beanie. But if I see even one criticizing comment calling me basic, I'm blaming you."  
You laugh, shaking your head at his ridiculousness, "Deal. Now go to sleep, Sim Jaeyun."  
His grin softens as he adjusts the camera to fully look at you, pout gone, eyes glistening.
"Only because you said so."  
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"Hey," you say softly, answering the call as you snuggle deeper into your blanket, letting it engulf you completely.
The familiar sound of Jake's quiet breathing fills the space between you, and before he even says a word, you already know.  
"Rough day?" You ask gently when he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds. 
"Yeah," he murmurs, his voice quieter than usual, almost drowned out by the low hum of background noise. "I just...I don't really feel like talking right now, if that's okay."  
"Of course," you reply without hesitation, your tone gentle, no questions asked.
On the other end, Jake presses the phone closer to this ear in an attempt to feel closer to you, instantly feeling better from your pure understanding of how he’s feeling, and he thinks—not for the first time—that you might be his favorite person in the world.  
The warm silence engulfs the both of you like a shared blanket, unspoken yet understood. You can hear the faint echoes of his surroundings: the muffled laughter of the boys somewhere nearby, the distant honk of traffic outside his hotel, and then the quiet shuffle of Jake shifting positions in his hotel bed. You catch his breath catching slightly, like he's finally allowing himself to relax—to just be.  
You don't try to fill the silence. You know that he needs this—a moment of peace in the chaos. Instead, you similarly press the phone closer to your ear, as if doing so can somehow bridge the miles between you, hoping he can sense your presence reaching out for him. 
Minutes pass like this, and for a moment, it’s so quiet you begin to wonder if he's falling asleep. But then, a deep exhale breaks the stillness.
"Thank you, Y/N," he says finally, his voice low but steady, carrying a weight of sincerity that makes your heart clench.  
"You don't have to thank me, Jake," your voice matches his softness. "You know that."  
"Still," his voice is low, so quiet, it feels like a secret meant only for you. "I appreciate you. More than you probably know."  
You smile to yourself, your heart aching in the best way possible, and you desperately try your best to ignore it, no matter how much excitement it brought you. 
"Always, Jake." 
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“Tell me something about you that I don’t already know,” you challenge him, your voice carrying that light and endearing tone over the phone that Jake’s come to crave. 
“Hmm,” Jake hums thoughtfully as he lies in his bed, eyes closed, just simply treasuring the small moments, like this one, with you. 
Even though it’s definitely 3AM where he is right now. And he definitely has to be up in a few hours for rehearsal. 
Oh well, completely irrelevant. Talking about everything and anything with you just felt so right. 
“I don’t know,” he eventually exhales, his brain too foggy to think of anything logical right now. “I feel like you know me better than I know myself at this point, Y/N.” 
“You’re so corny it physically hurts, Jake,” you scoff, and Jake swears he can feel your exaggerated eye roll from thousands of miles away. 
“Oh—wait, wait! I have one,” he perks up, his eyes shooting open as he turns towards the phone in excitement. 
“Hit me,” you say, unconsciously smiling at how cute he sounds. 
“I’m allergic to flowers.” 
The line falls silent for a beat before you erupt into a storm of giggles so wild it makes Jake feel sick from how fast the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering. 
“That’s your fun fact? That’s so tragic, Jake,” you gasp through your giggles. “Like, depressingly tragic.” 
“Hey! It’s not that sad, it could be worse,” Jake hopes you can hear his pout over the phone (you can). 
“So you’re telling me you’ve never bought a girl flowers before?” You tease, smiling to yourself as you stare at your ceiling. 
“Guess not,” Jake lets out a laugh, which surprises himself. “Jenn used to always get mad at me for never getting her any, but what am I supposed to do? Show up with a bouquet and an epi-pen? I literally start tearing up whenever I’m around any kind.” 
You lose it all over again, your laughter spilling through Jake’s phone like sunshine, and Jake doesn’t even realize he’s smiling so widely until his cheeks start to ache. 
But what Jake does realize is something unexpected: for the first time in forever, he can talk about Jenn without a single pang of…anything. No weird tension, no lingering sadness—just a casual mention and then…nothing. 
It’s freeing, this feeling of lightness, like an invisible weight he didn’t know he was even carrying has suddenly lifted. He wonders if this is what moving on really feels like, if he’s found his emotional freedom. He wonders when it changed. 
He wonders maybe it’s not when—maybe it’s who.  
And he wonders if it’s you. 
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Today was supposed to be Jake’s day off. The golden ticket to rest, recharge, and not think about anything.
Key term: supposed to be.
Instead, Jake found himself knee-deep in the trenches of emotional warfare—and losing spectacularly.
The morning started innocently enough. No alarm, no schedule, just the soft promise of freedom that was so close within his reach. But by noon, Jake came to a harsh realization.
Freedom was a lie.
Because every step, every sight, every breath, was haunted by one inescapable thought: You.
It started with a boutique. Him and the boys had wandered down a cobblestone street in a city that Jake had already forgotten the name of—city number ten or eleven of tour? He barely knew anymore. But then his gaze caught on a mannequin in the window.
Big mistake.
The outfit on display—similar to his mind—had you written all over it. Immediately, his brain spiraled.
Y/N would love that. She'd probably drag me and all the guys in and force me to hold her bag while she tried it on.
He had to physically stop himself from dragging the group inside to purchase it on the spot.
Next? A coffee shop. And there it was: a poster featuring some limited-edition iced peach latte. Jake froze, staring at it like it held the answers to life itself.
You’d love it. You would order it, (well, you'd make Jake order it, because you hate talking to cashiers), sip it, smile, and probably rant about how overpriced it was—even though Jake would pay for it—yet you’d still finish the entire thing.
And then, you'd steal half of his drink, too. 
Because you always did. 
And Jake always lets you.
The final straw? A cat. Just a random stray, peacefully lounging on a sunny part of sidewalk, looking like it had zero interest in the world around it. And even that didn't escape Jake's you-obsessed filter. Without even thinking, Jake whipped out his phone. 
It was instinctual at this point.
Jake [1:06PM]: (attached - one image) Jake [1:06PM]: thought you'd like this one :)
Because obviously, you needed to see that cat. Immediately.
By the time Jake collapses onto his hotel bed that evening, he feels like he’d run a mental marathon—except instead of a finish line, every road led back to you.
He flops onto his bed, hoping sleep would save him from the storm raging in his brain.
Spoiler alert: it doesn't.
Instead, it leads him to the complete opposite. He stares at your name on his phone, your contact picture, your last messages to him. 
You texted him two hours ago—a sweet goodnight message that ended with your usual, 'Don't hesitate to call if you need me.' 
Casual. Normal.
But it probably didn't mean, 'Hey, please interrupt my sleep from the other side of the world so we can discuss your ongoing emotional crisis over me.'
Don't do it, Jake. The remaining rational brain cells within him beg him to stop. You're being dramatic. She's not the air you need to breathe.
But at the same time, deep down, Jake really thinks you are.
The worst part? You two already had talked on the phone earlier—when Jake had another fashion crisis and couldn't decide what to wear for his day off exploring with the guys. Of course, you laughed at him, teased him, but then helped him pick something out anyways. Typical.
Personally, if it was up to him, he'd spent his whole day off on the phone with you. Talking about everything. Or nothing. Whatever you wanted, Jake would've done it, no hesitation.
Don't do it, Jake, his brain warns him again. What kind of obsessed-lunatic calls the same person twice in one day?
Answer: Jake.
But as Jake lies in his hotel bed, thoughts heavily clouded with the image of you and the sound of your voice, he realizes...this wasn't just a phone call thing. No, this was deeper, worse. And somewhere between staring at the same patch of ceiling and replaying every memory of you on a mental loop, Jake tries to rationalize it.
She’s just a good friend, Jake. A best friend, even! You think about her a lot because she’s cool and funny and…and she has the laugh of a Disney princess...But it’s normal to think about your friends, right? Right??
But the more he tries to downplay it, the clearer it becomes. This was something else.
And then it hits.
Like, really hits.
Oh my god. I like her.
Jake shoots upright, widened eyes filled with horror, as if the realization itself just physically smacked him across the face.
No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening.
Jake buries his face in his hands, groaning. But the groan quickly turns into a muffled scream, because the more he thinks about it, the worse it gets.
Because he thinks you're going to be the death of him. He really, really likes you. Not in the vague, 'Oh, she’s cute' way, but in the write-her-name-in-a-heart-and-doodle-little-stars-around-it kind of way. The stare-at-her-texts-like-they’re-poetry kind of way. The imagine-her-laughing-at-your-dad’s-jokes-and-enjoying-your-mom’s-meals-forever kind of way.
And this feeling? It's new. It's terrifying. 
It's exhilarating.
Jake realizes in this very moment that he's never experienced this heart-pounding, face-flushing, breath-taking kind of feeling towards anyone. Sure, his past relationship had been meaningful in its own way, but now Jake is realizing that the foundation of his past relationship was tangled up in obligations and unspoken expectations. A tightrope act of Jake having to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect idol, the perfect...everything. He never realized how suffocating it was until now—until you. Because this feeling with you?
This was pure. Simple, clear, and undeniable.
Your sheer existence proved that it's possible for someone to understand him better than he understands himself. Your laugh had a way of making everything feel lighter, like the weight of the world had been momentarily suspended. Just one look from you alone somehow always manages to make him feel like he was still worthy even on his worst days.
With you, Jake felt...himself, for once. Not Jake Sim, global popstar. Not Jake Sim, the boyfriend of so-and-so. Just...Jake.
Jake's heart pounds as the realization sinks in. He's now transitioned from screaming into his hands to his poor hotel pillow.
Because as clear and strong as this feeling is, the doubt is just as overwhelming. What if you don't feel the same? What if this ruins everything?
But at the same time...what if you do feel the same way?
What if this is his chance? The butterfly effect that changes everything? What if you're it? You have to be.
And so, like an idiot possessed, Jake's finger is one millimeter away from pressing call on your name again.
Because, obviously, the best way to deal with overwhelming feelings is to confess them from a hotel room five countries away.
Obviously. 
Because what if he didn't call? What if he spent the rest of his night spiraling into an endless pit of unspoken feelings and overthinking, arms flailing as he knows the only way out of the pit is with your help?
What if his brain explodes with the sheer amount of feelings he has for you and he never has the chance to tell you ever again?
He presses call.
The line rings twice before you answer.
"Jake?" Your voice is soft, laced with surprise and just the faintest trace of sleep. "It's late for you, is everything okay?"
Jake's brain short-circuits. What time even is it for him? He has no idea, and frankly, he doesn't care.
"Yeah," he blurts, far too quickly that he winces at himself. He clears his throat before trying again, "I mean, yeah. Everything's fine. I just...couldn't sleep."
"Oh," you hum softly and Jake swears the sound alone could single-handedly resolve global wars.
Yeah, he definitely likes you.
"Is something stressing you out?" The genuine concern in your voice makes his chest tighten.
"No—well, nothing like that," Jake rushes to assure you, sitting up straighter in bed now, as if you could see him. His voice lowers, almost shy, "I just...I was thinking about you."
Silence. Jake's heart pounds so loudly, he's sure you can hear it through the phone.
"About me?" You finally tease, light and playful, but there's something softer underneath. "What did I do to deserve such an honor?"
Jake lets out a nervous, breathy laugh, running a hand through his hair, “You exist. That’s what.”
Another pause. He hears you exhale softly, and the sound alone sends his heart into overdrive.
"That was smooth," your voice is quiet, soft, as if teetering on the line of teasing and nervousness at the same time. "Ten out of ten, Jake."
"I'm serious," Jake tries his best to keep his voice from cracking, the weight of his feelings pressing down on him. "I was lying here, thinking about everything, and I realized something."
"And what's that?"
Jake's throat goes dry. His heart is screaming at him to say it, but his brain begs him to reconsider.
But Jake's sure he's lost all his rational brain cells for sure at this point, so he swallows hard, and braces himself for impact.
"I like you, Y/N."
The words spill out, raw and unpolished, but so utterly true.
“I mean, I really like you," Jake continues, his voice barely above a whisper now. "More than a friend, more than anything.”
The line goes silent, and for a split second, a lifetime of pure awkwardness and torture of not having you in his life anymore flashes in his vision, and he rushes to fill the void.
"I know this is probably the worst timing ever, and probably really scary...and it's okay if you don't feel the same way," his voice definitely cracks this time, laying everything bare, but he doesn't care anymore. "But I had to tell you. I can't pretend around you, not when being around you feels like the only time I'm really me."
Then, you let out a soft exhale—a disbelieving, breathless sound that makes Jake's heart skip a beat.
"Jake..."
"You're...you're everything, Y/N. You make life better just by being in it. And I haven't even seen you in four months, but you're all I think about," Jake lets out a small laugh, swallowing the remainder of all his pride and dignity. "I promise, when I'm back...I'll prove it to you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. Anything it takes. "
For once in his life, Jake feels completely vulnerable—and yet, strangely, it feels right.
Because he means it, every word.
He's never meant anything more.
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The line had gone quiet after Jake’s confession, his words echoing in your ears. 
“I like you, Y/N.” 
No, not like. Really, really like. 
You spent the last few days replaying his words over and over, dissecting every syllable, every tiny inflection in this voice. At first, it didn't even seem real.  
A part of you still thinks it isn't—that this is all a cruel dream and you're going to wake up any second now back in the real world. The one where Jake Sim, the boy who turns heads and steals hearts without even trying, didn't just confess his deepest, most vulnerable feelings for you in a single phone call. 
But no. He said it, alright. Clear as day.  
First, all you felt was pure happiness. Maybe it was hearing his voice everyday, or maybe it was seeing how his face lit up through the screen when you picked up his video calls—but somewhere along the way, you knew it was something deeper. 
Something that made your heart skip when his name lit up your phone, something that left you craving his voice to make your day feel complete. And now? Now the boy who’d effortlessly become your favorite part of every day was telling you you’d done the same for him. 
But then, came the fear. 
Because what if this was just a rebound? What if you were just a soft landing for him, a way to patch up the holes left behind by his past? Here you were, standing at the edge of something terrifyingly real, wondering if you were just a step in his recovery process—a way to fill the cracks, but not the kind of permanence you were beginning to crave. 
You weren’t naive enough to see Jake’s past relationship didn’t still linger in the corners of his mind. You’d seen him struggle with it before, how hard he’d tried to convince himself he was fine. What if you were just the next step in his healing, rather than something real—a Band-Aid for a wound that wasn’t even yours to heal? 
And worse—what if you let it happen? What if you let yourself fall, only to hit the ground at an alarming speed, and...splat. Not just a regular, embarrassing tumble, no. But the kind that leaves you flattened on the pavement like a cartoon character who ignored every warning sign. 
Because that’s exactly what it would feel like, wouldn’t it? Giving it, letting yourself hope—only to crash and burn spectacularly. 
Deep down, you knew you weren’t just risking a little heartache. Because Jake? Jake had quietly claimed a permanent spot in your heart at this point. 
You were risking everything. 
And the worst part? 
You were already halfway there. 
That was the reason why you told him you needed time. The reason why all you could manage to respond was a meek, 'I just...I need to think about this.' And to his credit, Jake hadn't pushed. Of course, not.  
But now, three days later, you were no closer to an answer. If anything, the time apart had made everything worse. 
Because as the days stretched on, with every passing hour, every text you didn’t send and every call you didn’t make, one thing became gut-wrenchingly, undeniably clear: 
You were already his. 
You miss Jake’s voice, his laugh, the way he rambles about the most random things late at night. You miss how, somehow, he made you fall asleep with a smile on your face from the other side of the world. You miss him, that even in his absence, he was still your first thought in your mind when you woke up and the last before you drifted to sleep. 
And no amount of overthinking or second-guessing could change the truth that finally settled in your chest like a secret you weren’t ready to admit to yourself:
You were his. Completely. 
The only question now was whether you’d let yourself believe he was yours too. 
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"Y/N?"  
"Jungwon," you groan helplessly into your phone. "Help me."  
A pause. Then, "Are you sure you meant to call me? It's Jungwon, not Jake," he teases lightly. "I can go get Jake if you meant—" 
"Jungwon!" You cut him off, panicked. "I'm being serious. It's about Jake, dummy."  
"Oh," his tone shifts instantly as he senses the seriousness in your voice. "Did something happen? Because I swear, for the past three days, Jake's been moping around like a kicked puppy, and I was gonna ask you about it because I know you guys have been talking a lot more, but I didn't want to push, and—" 
"That's exactly it, Jungwon!" You wail into your pillow, your voice muffled. Great, now you feel even worse, knowing Jake is moping around, waiting for you.   
"What's exactly it?" Your best friend presses, voice curious. "I need specifics, Y/N."  
You hesitate, the words clinging to the back of your throat like they're too heavy to admit. Finally, you take a deep breath and force them out.  
"Jake told me he likes me, Jungwon. Like really, really likes me. He gave this whole monologue about how I'm all he can think about, and it was so cute, and it made me want to explode from joy and fear all at once, and I don't know what to do!"  
A beat of silence. 
Jungwon sucks in a dramatic breath and then, "Wait, wait, wait. Back up. First of all, this is not news to me."  
You blink, as if he can see your look of shock over the phone, "What?"  
"This was obvious, Y/N. The guy's been smitten with you for months. You guys literally have been talking every day since we left."  
Your jaw drops, "So what? You and I talk every day! How is this any different?"  
Jungwon snorts, "Y/N, we text every day. About minuscule things. Like me reminding you not to forget your keys and you ghosting my last text. But you and Jake? You guys talk for hours—into the illegal hours of the night, mind you. Trust me, I know. Hotel walls are thin."  
You feel your cheeks flushing, "That doesn't mean anything."  
"Doesn't it?" Jungwon's voice is laced with amusement. "When's the last time you called me just to hear my voice?"  
"Jungwon."  
"Exactly."  
You groan again, "But Jungwon, what if…what if he's not over Jenn? What if I'm just a rebound?"  
Jungwon goes quiet for a moment, his tone softening when he finally speaks, “Jake’s not like that, Y/N. You know that. He wouldn’t tell you he likes you unless he meant it.” 
“Yeah, but—” 
“Look," he interrupts. "Jake’s a lot of things—annoyingly loud, for one—but he’s not the kind of guy who’d use someone, especially you, as a rebound. If he said he likes you, he likes you.” 
You bite your lip, his words settling over you like a warm blanket—because you know they're true.  
“And for what it’s worth,” Jungwon continues, “I think you like him too.” 
“I..,” you falter, your heart hammering in your chest. “I do.” 
“Then what are you waiting for?” 
You sigh, a small smile tugging at your lips despite the nerves coiled in your stomach, “I don’t know. I guess I’m scared.” 
“That’s okay,” Jungwon says gently. “But don’t let fear stop you from something that could make you happy. You deserve that, Y/N. And so does Jake.” 
You close your eyes, letting Jungwon's words sink in. Deep down, you know he's right, he always is.  
"Thanks, Jungwon," you say, your voice softer now, tinged with gratitude.  
"Anytime," he replies, and then, with a teasing lilt, "But seriously—you should probably tell him soon. I can't stand watching him mope around like a sad, abandoned puppy. It's seriously tragic, like, to the point where I’m gonna have to start letting him win at Mario Kart."  
A small giggle escapes you, light and genuine for the first time in three days, "I know, I know. Eventually."  
"Y/N," his voice turns playfully stern, like a parent lecturing their toddler. "Eventually isn't a time. Just call him. You've been thinking about him nonstop, haven't you?" 
Unfortunately, Jungwon knows you too well. Your silent response betrays you, and Jungwon lets out a triumphant hum.  
"Thought so. Well, you should go. You have a call to make."  
You sigh, a mix of nerves and a new determination bubbling, "Okay, okay. But if this goes horribly wrong, I'm blaming you."  
"It won't. But deal," his tone is reassuring, confident, like he already knows how this story ends. "You got this, Y/N."  
The call ends, and the quiet still of your room taunts you. For a moment, you sit there, staring at your phone, the little icon of Jake's contact picture—a selfie the two of you took together many years ago—staring back at you like a challenge.  
Your fingers hover. Your heart races, your palms feel clammy, and your stomach twists.  
But then you remember Jungwon's words.  
You deserve this.  
And so does Jake.  
You take a deep breath, then you press down on his name.  
The phone doesn't even reach the second ring before he picks up.  
"Y/N," Jake’s voice is rushed, a little breathless.  
"Hey," you say softly, suddenly unsure where to start. "Um, were you busy?"  
"No, no," he quickly responds. "Not at all. You could call me at 3AM, and I still would’ve picked up."  
"That's unhealthy, you know," your lips twitch as you lay back in your bed, taking a deep inhale. You missed this—you missed him.  
"For you? Worth it," you can hear the smile in his voice, but along with the slight tension just beneath it—the faintest tremor that tells you he's been waiting for this call, maybe agonizing over it just as much as you have.  
You swallow hard, gripping the phone tight, "Jake, about...our last call..."  
"Take your time," he says gently, though you don't miss the way his voice wavers ever so slightly. "I mean it, Y/N. There's no pressure."  
You exhale shakily, closing your eyes, “I’ve been thinking a lot, too. About you. About…us.” 
Jake stays silent, but you could hear the faint sound of him shifting, like he was bracing himself. 
You squeeze your eyes hard, as you let the words finally come out, "I like you too, Jake. A lot. So much, honestly. It's just..."  
"It's just...?" Jake's voice repeats softly, as if that's all he can manage to let out in the midst of his nervousness.  
You hold your breath, scared of what you're about to admit—to Jake and to yourself. 
"It's just...I'm scared," your voice comes out barely above a whisper, "I'm scared that this is too good to be true. That you're saying all of this because...I don't know—you're trying to move on...from the past, or because you're lonely on tour, or—" 
"Y/N,” Jake's voice cuts through firm, but gentle.  
"You're not…a rebound, or a distraction, or anything like that," he starts quietly, each word deliberate. "And this isn't about...Jenn, or me being lonely, or whatever else you think. This is about you."  
Your breath hitches as you take in his words and open your eyes, hoping that staring at the ceiling above you could somehow ground you.  
“You’re the one who makes me laugh when I’ve had the worst day,” Jake continues. “You’re the one I want to talk to, even when I’m running on zero sleep. You’re the one I think about when I’m on stage and wish I could just look into the crowd and see you there. It’s you, Y/N."  
His words are overwhelming, too much, and you're unsure how to even process them. Your throat tightens, and you can feel the subconscious tears prickling at the corners of your eyes without even realizing they were forming.  
"Are you sure, Jake?"  
"More than anything else, Y/N," he says immediately, like the words have been waiting on the tip of his tongue. "And I want to do this right, Y/N. No rushing, no expectations. Just...tell me what you need from me, and I'll do it. Whatever it takes, I'll do it."  
The sincerity in his voice makes your chest ache. You can picture him on the other side of the line, sitting in some unfamiliar hotel room, his brows probably furrowed in that adorable way they always do whenever he tries to find the right words.  
You bite your lip, a small laugh escaping despite the tears sliding down your cheeks, “You’re so cheesy, you know that?” 
Jake lets out a small laugh, immediately easing from the tension that hung in the air.  
"Only for you," he mumbles, his voice soft but steady.  
You sigh, the sound reaching Jake on the other side. There's a pause, a moment of mutual understanding in silence, just listening to the quiet, peaceful hum of each other's breathing.  
“Jake?” You say finally, your voice trembling. 
“Yeah?” 
“I think…” You take a deep breath, and you think your heart is about to break out of your chest. “I think I want to try too.” 
The silence on the other end was electric, and for a moment, you think maybe the call dropped. Then, you hear the unmistakable sound of Jake’s laugh—soft, relieved, and filled with so much warmth that it instantly makes your own heart feel lighter. 
“You're driving me crazy, Y/N,” he says, his voice almost breathless, but tinged with humor.  
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah,” he says, a smile clear in his tone.  
“I hope I am,” you quip, and it makes him chuckle, the sound warm and full of relief. “Guess I’m stuck with your cheesy lines now huh?” 
“Stuck with me?” Jake repeats, pretending to sound offended. “No way. I’m stuck with you, Y/N. And trust me, I’m not going anywhere.” 
His words are so simple, yet so full of promise, and it leaves you feeling a little breathless. 
“Good,” you whisper, your cheeks warm. “Because I don’t want you to.” 
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“Hi Jake,” your voice bright as you immediately pick up his call and see his face appear on the screen, his expression softening when he sees you. 
“Hey pretty,” he replies, without missing a beat, his voice laced with a soft fondness that never fails to make your stomach flip. 
You roll your eyes, failing miserably to hide the blush rising to your cheeks, “Oh, so now I’m pretty, huh?”
Jake smirks at your words, leaning closer to his phone, “Nah, you’ve always been pretty. Just didn’t have the guts to say it to your face before.”  
You groan, dramatically planting your face into your pillow as an attempt to bury the smile on your face, your voice muffled, “You’re gonna be the death of me, Jake.”
“Stop that, don’t hide. Let me see your face,” his tone dips somewhere between playful and pleading, and you give in, lifting your head just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your red cheeks. 
“Cute,” he says with a knowing grin, leaning back against the headboard of his bed. 
“Whatever,” you murmur, but the smile on your face remains. “How was your day today?” 
“Mmm, it was good,” Jake says, running a hand through his messy hair. “Busy, but good. I forget how loud the fans get each time. But it’s nice. Makes it feel worth it, you know?” 
“I’m glad,” your smile grows as you watch him speak, feeling nothing but proud of him. “You deserve all of it, Jake.” 
“Stop,” now he’s groaning, throwing a hand over his face to cover his shy expression. “You’re going to make me blush.” 
“Mm, looks like you already are, Jakey,” you shake your head, laughing softly. 
“Maybe a little,” he admits as he peeks at you through his fingers, his grin boyish and infectious, and you can’t help but laugh again. 
The call falls quiet for a moment, but it’s not awkward—just comfortable, like a shared breath. Jake shifts, turning on his stomach and propping his phone up against some pillows to make sure you can still see him. 
“I miss you,” he says suddenly, and there’s something raw in his tone, something unguarded that catches you off guard. 
Your heart stutters.
“Jake, I literally called you this morning,” you tease, your tone light and sweet. But still, you can’t resist, “I miss you too.”  
“You don’t sound convincing enough,” his eyes narrow at you, the pout forming on his lips quickly turning into a small smirk. “Say it like you mean it.” 
“Fine,” you huff, rolling your eyes. “I miss you so, so much Sim Jaeyun, that it’s physically painful and I might conbust on the spot if I don’t see you soon. Happy?” 
“Very,” he grins into the camera, making your heart beat faster. Ugh. "But please don't combust for me. Who else am I supposed to call every day?"  
"Oh, please, you'd survive," you shoot back, smirking. "I'm sure anyone else would be more than happy to fill the spot."  
Jake clicks his tongue, shaking his head dramatically. "Nope, no one could keep with you, Y/N. You're a handful."  
"Excuse me?" You scoff, mock offense all over your face. "You're calling me a handful? Jake, who's the one that texts me random song lyrics at 3AM and expects me to interpret their deep meaning like it's poetry?"  
"Okay, first of all, they are deep," he argues, his grin widening into something boyish and utterly unfair. "And second of all, I know you secretly love it."  
You let out a laugh as you roll onto your side, propping your phone against the pillow next to you.  
"Maybe I do," you admit with a shrug, trying to sound nonchalant despite the smile on your face. "Or maybe I don't. That's up to you to find out."  
Jake shakes his head, laughing softly, his eyes twinkling as they linger on your face. 
"You really are a handful, Y/N," his voice teases while his eyes remain on you through the screen, as if studying you, and it makes your stomach flip.  
You glance away, suddenly feeling shy again under his unwavering gaze, "Stop looking at me like that."  
"Like what?" His voice is innocent, his eyebrows lifting in feign obliviousness.  
"I don't know—like you're trying to memorize my face or something," you mutter, your cheeks burning.  
"Maybe I am," his voice dips, low and soft. "Honestly wouldn't complain if that's the last thing I ever got to remember."  
His words hit you square in the chest, and despite how ridiculously corny they are, they manage to take your breath away. You don't know if you'll ever get used to this newly discovered side of Jake—the one that speaks so candidly, so sweetly—like you're the only person in his universe.  
But honestly? You love it. You love how he makes you feel, how his words wrap around you perfectly like they were tailor made just for you. But as much as you love it, you fear it too.  
Because the more you fall into this feeling, the more you wonder if there's anything solid beneath it. Despite all the soft words shared and sweet nothings exchanged, at the end of the day, deep down inside you can't help but ask yourself if his words, if he, is even yours to begin with. 
"Jake..."  
"Hmm?" His voice is gentle now, the teasing edge in his voice fading.  
"You really mean it, don't you?" You ask, your voice quieter now, the question laced with your vulnerability. "You're serious about...this? About us?"  
"Of course I am," he answers without hesitation. His soft eyes stay trained on you as he sits up in his spot in bed, as if to show just how serious he is. He lets out an exhale, as if mentally encouraging himself to continue, "I know we're not...whatever this is, officially yet. But I do know that I like what we have."  
He brings his phone closer, a small smile on his face, his expression earnest, "And that I like you. A lot."  
You swallow hard, his words settling in your chest in the best way possible. Because despite everything—the doubts, the undefined boundaries—you can't deny the truth of how you feel.  
"Me too," you admit, your voice steady and honest. "I like what we have too. And I like you."  
You pause, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you feel the remainders of your walls crumbling down, "You make me happy, Jake. Like annoyingly happy."  
"Good. Because you make me happy too," His smile spreads wide, the kind that is contagious and could light up an entire room. "Annoyingly happy, if we're being specific."  
You roll your eyes again, though you're smiling just as much, "We really are insufferable, aren't we?"  
"Oh, completely," Jake nods, his tone playful. He's more relaxed, back to leaning against his headboard as he looks at you with a softened gaze. "We'll figure it out, Y/N. I promise. Whatever this is, or whatever it becomes, I'm not going anywhere. And honestly? I just can't wait to see you. Finally."  
"Me too," you perk up, your eyes sparkling with excitement as you bring your phone closer, "It feels like it's been forever. This tour feels so much longer than the other ones for some reason."  
"It does," Jake hums in agreement, his eyes thoughtful. "But you know what? I think It's because, this time...I actually have something waiting for me. Something—or someone—I want to come home to. And that makes every day feel so much longer."  
You think, at this point, you should check yourself into the emergency department for the sheer amount of times you thought your heart was going to pound out of your body from Jake's words alone.  
“You're ridiculous," you laugh, the sound bubbling out so naturally you couldn't hold it back even if you tried. "It's getting kind of out of hand how cheesy you are, Jake."  
"And yet," he fires back with a smirk, "you love it. Admit it. I've cracked the code."  
"Maybe I do," you tease, repeating your words from earlier as the corners of your mouth tug up into a smile you can't suppress. "But don't let it get to your head."  
"Too late," he grins. "It's already there."  
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Jake [2:15AM] : can I call you?   Y/N [2:16AM]: jake isnt it like 2AM for you?   Jake [2:16AM]: well…yea but I was thinking about you so… 
Your feet are kicking before you even realize, and before you can type up a response, your phone lights up with Jake's name and contact picture. 
“Hi,” you answer softly, trying not to let the giddy smile growing on your face take over. 
“Hey pretty,” he greets, voice warm and easy as he brings a hand through his messy hair. The lights in his room are off, and the dim glow of his phone screen casts a soft light over his features, making him look unfairly good for someone who should be fast asleep.  
“You have two seconds to give me a good reason why you’re here talking to me instead of getting a good night’s rest before your concert tomorrow,” your eyes narrow in mock disapproval as you give him a knowing look.  
Jake laughs lightly, “Hey! Okay, hear me out. I couldn’t sleep, so I did something.”  
You raise an eyebrow, “You did something? That sounds ominous, I’m scared.”  
“Yeah. For you,” he states plainly, leaving you even more confused for a second more before he continues. “I made you a playlist.”  
Your brain stalls at how simple he says it—so casual, as if not packed with so much meaning.  
“A playlist? You—wait, why?”  
Jake shrugs, “I don’t know—I guess I just wanted you to hear what I hear when I think about you. Which, by the way, is a lot. So..”  
You blink at the screen, your mouth slightly agape at the boy who's watching you with that lopsided grin that makes it practically impossible to function. You scramble to collect yourself, but the more you try, the worse it gets, and by now, you think he definitely took some secret class on how-to-make-Y/N-completely-flustered.  
And aced it.  
And of course, he notices—because Jake always notices.  
“You okay there?” His voice breaks you out of your overwhelming thoughts, his teasing tone laced with curiosity.  
“Define okay,” you mutter, rubbing a hand over your face in an attempt to cool down the warmth spreading like wildfire across your cheeks. “Because if it means not feeling like a complete fool over a guy who’s halfway across the world, then no, I’m absolutely not okay.”  
Jake lets out a low laugh, the sound affectionate as he leans closer to the camera, the light reflecting off his shining eyes, “If it helps, you’re not the only one losing your mind here.”  
“Oh yeah?” you arch an eyebrow, “What’s your excuse, Sim?”  
“My excuse?” He tilts his head with a small, exaggerated frown, pretending to think. “Hmm…let’s see…I’m hopelessly into this girl who somehow makes being teased fun, who makes me smile just by hearing my name come out her mouth, and who—“  
“Okay! Stop, stop, enough,” your voice strangled as you try to talk through the fit of giggles you couldn’t hold down. “You’re gonna kill me, Jake. Like, actually. I’m not strong enough for this.”  
Jake laughs at your flustered reaction, holding up a hand of surrender, “Fine, fine. But seriously, look.”  
You hear the sound of faint typing in the background before your phone buzzes with a text containing a link.  
“It’s called Songs That Remind Me of Y/N. Creative, right?”  
You open the link, and your thoughts are dazed at the sight of the endless playlist of songs. Some new to you, some you recognize—all of them feeling like little pieces of Jake's heart he's handing to you.  
"I think it's perfect," you murmur softly, scrolling through the titles, the warmth and appreciation for him now feeling almost too overwhelming.  
"Yeah?" Jake's eyes shine with a mixture of pride and hope as he watches your reaction.  
"Yeah," you repeat, switching your phone screen back to his face and giving him a genuine smile. "I love it. Thank you, Jake."  
Jake hums in response, the look on his eyes gentle as a beat of comfortable silence falls between you two.  
"Well, I should probably sleep for real now, but...listen to it when you miss me, okay? Because chances are, I'm probably doing the same."  
You pause, letting the weight of his words settle over you—vulnerable, yet undoubtedly honest. "Deal. I'll listen to it right now, then."  
"Good," his smile grows, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Because I am too. I miss you, too."  
You both linger for a moment, neither wanting to end the call just yet, simply enjoying each other's pure, raw presence.  
"Sweet dreams, Jake," you finally say, your voice gentle as you slowly let sleep take over. 
"Only if they’re about you," he quips, grinning.  
You roll your eyes, your chest feeling lighter, "Go to bed, Sim."  
"Yes, ma'am," he winks, and with one last fond look, he ends the call, leaving you smiling at your screen like the absolute fool he's turned you into.  
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"I can't believe you're finally coming back tomorrow," you murmur into the phone, your voice soft but buzzing with excitement as you take in the sight of Jake sprawled out on his bed. The dim glow of his phone highlights just enough of his face to remind you how impossibly cute he is—even with the pillow creases on his cheek.  
"I know," Jake sighs dramatically, flopping onto his side. His head sinks into the pillow, and you hear a soft fwump as he shifts to find a comfortable spot. "I just wish I wasn't landing so late. If I could, I'd come see you the second I land. Like, bags in hand, running to your door."  
"You'd probably trip and knock yourself out with your carry-on, Jake," you snort but then smile, the imagine of Jake rushing to get to you playing in your head.  
"First of all, I'm very athletic," Jake raises an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. "Second, that's exactly what would happen, but at least I'd be unconscious on your doorstep, which is still closer to you than I've been in months."  
Your heart does a little flip at the sound of the sincerity in his voice as you try to keep your tone casual, "It's okay, Jake. I'm not going anywhere. We'll see each other the next day? If you're free, maybe."  
Jake's face softens in that stupidly adorable way he always does when he knows you're just trying to play it cool. "Free or not, I'll find a way. Nothing's stopping me from seeing you, Y/N. Not jet lag, not my schedule, not even my manager if he tries to barricade me in the building."  
A giggle escapes you, partly at his sheer determination and partly to cover up the butterflies constantly causing the havoc in your stomach when it comes to him. And Jake, of course, looks all smug, like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. Typical Jake—sweet, determined, and impossibly endearing.  
But as much as his words make your cheeks warm, there's another reason why you're holding back your smile.  
Because, despite what Jake thinks, you're going to see him much sooner than he expects. All thanks to a message you got earlier from the group's manager:  
Y/N! Hope you’re doing well! We all miss you and can’t wait to see you soon! As you know, the boys are returning tomorrow late at night, but the staff and I want to plan a little surprise party at their apartment, they have no idea. The team’s already prepping everything. We’d love for you to come—it wouldn’t be the same without you. 10 PM! See you! 
You're practically vibrating with excitement, each passing minute on the call with Jake making it harder and harder to not just blurt it out and tell him you'll be seeing him in less than 24 hours. And, somehow, hearing his sleepy voice on the other side of the call, completely oblivious, just makes it even harder to contain yourself.  
Jake's brows furrow as he watches you try (and fail) to suppress your grin, "What's up with you? You're smiling so much, and I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything that funny."  
"Me?" You blink innocently, even though your heart skips a beat. But you shrug casually, masking your smile with a feigned yawn. "Nothing's up, you've just been acting too cute tonight. That's all."  
"You're lucky you're cute," Jake narrows his eyes at you, but even you can see through the dim lighting the red creeping across his face, "And that I'm tired. Or else I'd call you out for how you're gaslighting me right now."  
"Gaslighting?!" You sputter out, breaking out into laughter. "How am I gaslighting you for calling you cute?"  
"Because I know you're hiding something—" Jake replies, his pout audible in the way his voice drags. He yawns mid-sentence, the soft sound and the image of his eyes fluttering closed making your heart melt. "—and you're using my sleep-deprived state against me. It's not fair."  
"I'm not hiding anything!" You protest, your face one second away from cracking into a guilty smile. "Go to sleep—you're barely holding it together over there."  
"Like I'd ever fall asleep on you," he mutters, his voice heavy with drowsiness. "You're way too important for that."  
His words hit you like a train, and you have to physically restrain yourself from squealing, burying your face in your pillow before you let out a strangled, "Okay, enough sap for one night, Romeo. Go to bed."  
"Mmhm, fine, fine," Jake hums before he yawns again. "Goodnight, pretty. Dream sweet dreams, okay?"  
You let out a breath, losing the last remaining bits of your composure at this point—but in the best way possible, of course.  
"Goodnight, Jakey. I'll see you soon."  
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The day flies by in a whirlwind of anticipation and sheer chaos, the emotional hurricane brewing up inside you rooting from one source and one source only.  
Because ever since you woke up this morning, every step, every sight, every breath was haunted by one inescapable thought: 
Jake.  
The morning was a blur of pacing around your room like a Sims character who was glitching after being told to "Go Here", overthinking every possible scenario for how tonight—when you finally see Jake in person—could go down.  
Because, really—how exactly do you approach the boy you've been friends with for years, who you've fallen for, in a room filled with people, including yours and his closest friends, all while pretending your heart is trying its hardest to not control, alt, delete itself?  
Not exactly something you can Google.  
Like, do you hug him? Does he hug you? What if he doesn't hug you? (Unacceptable, you decide, before pacing faster.)  
By the time afternoon rolls around, you're about 78% sure you've developed three-and-a-half migraines from the sheer pressure of it all. Not to mention, the borderline illegal amount of caffeine coursing through your veins isn't helping—why did you think drinking four cups of coffee was a good idea? (You didn't. Your brain has officially gone rogue.)  
And now, here you are. The buzzing apartment of the boys is alive with the sounds of laughter, the crinkle of party streamers being hung up, and two staff members arguing about where to put the over-dramatically large "WELCOME HOME" banner. You, along with everyone else, await for the signal, passing time by keeping up small conversation with the friends and staff you've gotten to know over the years—all the while you desperately try to keep your nerves from causing a mental crash out right here and now.  
Eventually, one of the staff gets the alert that the group has landed and is minutes away, the energy immediately shifting, both in the apartment and mentally. You settle in place in the back of the crowd, near the door but not too near the door—because 1) you're 99.99% sure you're not emotionally stable enough to be front and center, and 2) the staff and camera crew are already hogging the entrance as if this was the world's greatest comeback (and spoiler alert—to you, it really is.)  
The lights dim, the chatter fades, and the room hums with anticipation. And meanwhile? Your heart won't. Stop. Pounding.  
Any second now.  
Your nerves bubble up even more than you thought is humanly healthy, and you're not sure if you're about to a) pass out, b) puke, c) or both.
Simultaneously.  
The sound of multiple footsteps echoes faintly in the hallway, followed with muffled voices—one of them the unmistakable sound of Jake's laughter. Your breath catches.  
And then the door swings open.  
"SURPRISE!"  
The boys freeze in the doorway, their suitcases still in hand, the looks of genuine, yet pleasant, confusion plastered on all their faces. Sunghoon's eyes dart to the snacks table, Jay looks like he's deciding whether to laugh or roll his eyes, Sunoo is on the verge of tears, and Jake—Jake looks beautifully, stupidly confused.  
Your eyes immediately find Jake's face, like some natural gravitational pull you can't fight, and suddenly it hits you: he's here. In front of you. No blurry video calls, no glitchy Wi-Fi interruptions—just Jake.  
It feels surreal, like you're living in a sugar-induced dream that you aren't sure of is real yet or not. Last time you saw him in person, he was merely just Jake, one of your best friends, your go-to guy for bad jokes and late-night rants about life. But now? Now he's Jake—the boy who's somehow become the main character of your life (and brain capacity) over the past five months.  
Every memory of your late-night calls, every teasing smile, every time his sweet, groggy voice promised he'd prove himself to you—it all comes rushing back. Like those cheesy montage scenes in a rom-com, except instead of a whimsical romantic song playing in the background, it's the sound of your brain, and heart, screaming WHAT NOW Y/N?! 
But then, finally, his eyes land on you.  
The moment your eyes meet, you think your lungs give up on life. Breathing? Never heard of it. It's like someone hit the pause button on the entire universe, and you're convinced that the only thing to ever exist is Jake looking at you with that soft, unreadable expression.  
But you manage half a second of calm—half a second—before that softness on his face disappears. Just as quickly as it appeared, it's replaced by...something else. Something you can't quite put your finger on. Something you've never thought could exist on his face. A flicker of...conflict? Hesitation? Like he's staring straight at you…but also from miles away at the same time.  
His jaw tightens slightly—so slightly only you would notice with how intently you're looking at him—and for a split second, his hands fidgets at his side before he quickly clasps it over the handle of his suitcase. And right as you process it, right as you're about to convince yourself it's just the million grams of caffeine rushing through your blood that's making you hallucinate and see things— 
He looks away.  
He looks away.  
He looks away. As if you're not even standing there, as if he didn't just short-circuit your entire brain. His attention shifts to the nearest staff member, greeting them with a quick nod, and suddenly he's smiling and laughing at something they're saying like nothing just happened.  
And just like that, the universe hits the play button again, and you're left standing there—staring, blinking, wondering if the last thirty seconds of your life was, indeed, a caffeine-induced hallucination after all. Surely. Right?  
Because Jake definitely didn't avoid you on purpose. Nope. Because that would be insane. Insane, you think to yourself, as the invisible angel on your shoulder continues to whisper into your ear the same sweet words Jake's been telling you the past five months about how much he cares for you, how much he likes you—remember all those times he said it?  
Right. Right. Of course, he does. But still, you stand there frozen, trying to ground yourself, even though your hands start fidgeting at your sides anyway. Great. Fantastic. Cool, cool, cool. This is fine. 
You mentally curse yourself for not being closer to the door after all, and then, you mentally curse every single person in this room for not magically gaining telepathic powers and knowing that you, personally, were trying to have a moment.  
It's fine. You'll find him again. He's just too preoccupied with all the staff members and people to greet. Busy Jake. Social Jake. You're just imagining things. Definitely.  
Trying to distract yourself, you glance around the apartment, everything suddenly feeling suffocating. Maybe a snack. Maybe a drink. Maybe a portal to another dimension. 
Shaking your head out of your spiraling thoughts, you bite the inside of your cheek to ground yourself and turn away from the crowd, quickly settling yourself near the beverage table, pouring yourself a cup of...whatever this is—your mind too cloudy to even bother looking at the sign on the table.
You don't know how much time passes, and frankly, you don't even know if you're fully conscious. Your mind is still living in the past, lingering in that moment where you locked eyes with Jake for the first time in five months, and despite all the overthinking you did this morning of all the possible scenarios that could happen—this was not one of them.  
You're about to pour yourself a second drink just to keep your thoughts busy when you feel a tap on your shoulder.  
"Y/N!"  
Before you can fully turn around, you're engulfed in a warm hug, the familiar scent of Jungwon's cologne immediately grounding you, "Oh god, I missed you. Took me forever to find you with all these people."  
"Jungwon!" You exclaim, a genuine smile lighting up your face despite the emotional tug-of-war in your chest, because, of course, leave it to your best friend to immediately ease your inner panic. You squeeze him back, playfully ruffling his hair as you pull away, "I can't believe they made you grow out your hair. Now you actually look older than me for once."  
He stares at you, blinking. "Y/N. I am older than you."  
"Literally by a week. We all know I'm mentally older," you deadpan, crossing your arms.  
"Okay, I take it back. I didn't miss you after all," he scoffs as you laugh, pulling him into another hug for good measure just to annoy him.  
"I'm so glad you guys are back," you say as Jungwon grabs the drink in your hand and takes a sip himself as he listens to you. "I was dying of boredom without you guys."  
Jungwon raises an eyebrow, "Uh-huh. Definitely didn't sound like boredom all those nights you called Jake at 2AM."  
You freeze. Oh. Great. The one topic you were trying to avoid (how you were going to avoid it—given you're at his literal apartment, with his literal group members, and literal staff members that all work for him—you're not sure. Avoidance was a doomed plan from the start, I fear).  
But before you could answer, Jungwon continues, "So...are you guys, like, a thing now? I know you guys were just talking this whole time, but now that we're back, are you guys gonna be in a relationship and all that stuff? Because if so, I need a heads-up. As much I love you both, I don't know if I can stand you two being all couple-y right in front of me—oh, and also—"  
"Jungwon." 
"—if he hurts you in any way, I swear to god I will not hesitate to—"  
"Jungwon!"  
He stops, wide-eyed, before flashing you a sheepish smile. "Sorry. But seriously, what's happening? You haven't given me any updates!"   
You open your mouth to respond, but the words get caught in your throat. Because if he had asked you yesterday—or even an hour ago—you would've been able to answer confidently. But now? After Jake's apparent Olympic-level avoidance of you? You're not so sure anymore.  
"I...I don't know," you mumble, the words barely audible. Jungwon tilts his head, leaning closer to catch them.  
"What do you mean, you don't know? You guys haven't talked about it?" His brows furrowing as he studies your face, clearly picking up on your hesitation in true best friend fashion.  
"I, uh, I haven't...seen him yet," you admit, hoping the crack in your voice doesn't reveal the real reason you haven't approached the boy in question. "Everyone's busy, and I didn't want to get in the way."  
Jungwon gives you a look like you just said the earth is flat.  
"Get in the way? Y/N, you're insane. This is the guy who's been counting down the days to see you. If anything, everyone else is in his way."  
You give him a helpless shrug, but Jungwon isn't having it. He grabs your shoulders and spins you around, pointing across the room to one of the other snack tables past the crowds of people.
"Look. He's right there. Alone. Perfectly free to talk to you. Go."  
Your eyes land on Jake, back facing you and Jungwon, casually scooping chips into a bowl. You hesitate, scanning his relaxed posture, and the knot in your stomach tightens. Because that's exactly the problem. He's perfectly free. And if he's so excited to see you, how come he hasn't spoken to you yet?  
But before you can voice your doubts, Jungwon gives you a not-so-gentle nudge forward, "Go talk to him before I carry you over there myself."  
And next thing you know, Jake's right there. In front of you. His back is to you still, his eyes scanning the various snacks lined on the table, completely unaware of the full-on mental breakdown occurring just behind him.  
This is your moment, you tell yourself, despite the endless alarms going off in your brain. Every single nerve in your body is on high alert, screaming at you to abort mission, abort! But before you can give in to your panic, your hand is already reaching out, lightly tapping his shoulder.  
"Jake!"  
Jake turns around, and for a moment—a fleeting, fragile moment—you catch it. The way his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. The way his lips part as if they're about to break into that familiar smile you've missed for months. But just as quickly, similar to earlier, it vanishes, replaced by that flicker of hesitation, and it's enough to make your breath catch.  
"Y/N."  
Your name on his lips used to sound like a warm promise. Now?
Now it feels like an afterthought. 
His voice is calm, steady—too steady, stripped of every ounce of emotion, and not at all like someone who's been counting down the days to see you. He rubs the back of his neck, his gaze flickering to the crowd behind you before reluctantly meeting yours, "It's been so long."  
Your stomach sinks. That's all he had to say? You were completely wrong. You spent precisely 23 minutes of your morning debating if he was even going to give you a hug—but now? Screw the hug, he won't even give you a full sentence. Something's off, and your mind races to figure out what happened, as if you missed a major chapter of your own life.  
Trying to ignore the sharp pang of something lodging itself in your chest, you offer a small smile, hoping to break the tension.  
"Are you...okay? I thought...I don't know, I thought you'd be more excited to see me," the words spill out before you can stop them, and you want to crawl into a self-dug hole from how raw and vulnerable you feel.  
Jake shifts uncomfortably, glancing at the floor, then at you, "No, yeah, of course I am. I'm just...really tired. The flight, you know. And all this," he pauses to gesture at the environment around you two, "it's a lot."  
You stare at him in disbelief, waiting for him to crack—silently begging for some sign of the Jake you thought you knew. But all you get is a shrug.  
A shrug.  
Suddenly, his words feel like a punch to the gut, let alone the way he can't even fully look you in the eyes. In just those few seconds, the invisible angel on your shoulder—whose voice sounded just like Jake's—whispering those promises into your ears suddenly disappeared with no trace in sight, as if it was never there—as if it was never yours—in the first place. Every late-night call, every whispered promise, every shared laugh. 
As if they never belonged to you.  
You swallow hard, trying to keep the growing lump in your throat from choking you, hoping your emotional turmoil isn't blatantly obvious to the boy in front of you.  
"Right," you murmur, nodding as if his excuse makes perfect sense. But it doesn't. "That's...understandable."  
The silence that follows is suffocating. Not the comfortable kind of warm silence you two used to share, but the awkward, unbearable kind that makes you claw at your own skin and makes you wish the ground would open up and swallow you whole right then and there.  
Jake shifts again, and for a moment, his eyes meet yours. There's something there—but before you can grasp it, a voice from the crowd calls his name.  
"I—I should go," he mutters quickly, stepping back. His voice is quiet, his tone almost apologetic, but his words feel like he's hammering the nails to your coffin. "I'll...see you later though, yeah?"  
He doesn't wait for an answer. He's gone before you can say anything, before you can process his words, and for the second time that night, he leaves you standing there with your heart in pieces and your thoughts in chaos.  
For a moment, you swear you're paralyzed. You can't move. Can't breathe. Your vision blurs as every doubt you'd buried for months comes rushing back, screaming in your face louder and crueler than ever. You've never felt smaller, more foolish.  
Your heart beats erratically now, fighting against the realization of the truth settling in your chest—a  heaviness so suffocating it threatens to take you under. The Jake who stood in front of you just now—guarded, distant, a stranger—was so unlike the boy who had made you laugh until your sides ached, who'd stayed up with you on countless late nights, sharing secrets no one else knew.  
The Jake who made promises.  
Your mind spirals. Maybe...maybe those promises were never meant to be kept. Maybe they were just words to fill the time.  
Maybe you were just someone to fill the time.  
Your breath starts to pick up and you're frantically scanning the room, desperate for an escape from your thoughts through any familiar face. Your eyes finally land on Ni-ki and Heeseung casually sitting on one of the couches, their carefree laughter a stark contrast to your inner implosion. You beeline to them, forcing a smile on your face as you plop down beside them.  
"Y/N!" Ni-ki grins the moment he spots you, scooting over to make room. "Where've you been hiding? Thought you ditched us for good."  
"I've been here,“ you give the boys a small smile, praying they don't notice the way your hands tremble as you sit down, “just...mingling."  
Heeseung raises an eyebrow at the faint crack in your voice, but doesn't push further, "Well, we all missed you. Pizza pig-out sesh and games tomorrow? You can tell us everything we've been missing out on."  
You laugh, trying to keep the conversation light, but it comes out shaky, your voice tight under the weight of your hidden emotions, "I think it's you guys who need to catch me up."  
Ni-ki tilts his head, narrowing his eyes at you, "Are you okay? You look...off. What—did someone spill punch on you? Lemme guess, was it Jake?"  
At his name, the knife in your stomach twists even deeper, and you look away, hoping they don't notice the way your face falls.  
But Heeseung notices. Of course. His gaze sharpens, the playful teasing in his expression replaced with a softened concern, "Y/N...what's going on?"  
"I'm fine," you reply a little too quickly, your voice a little too high. You plaster a smile on your face, turning back towards the two boys, concern written all over their faces. "Just tired. Long day."  
Neither of them look convinced, but before Heeseung can say anything else, Ni-ki nudges him and gestures towards something across the room.  
"Hey...isn't that—"  
You follow Ni-ki's gaze, and you immediately wish you didn't. 
Because just like that, your world crumbles.  
There she is—Jenn.  
You're not even wondering when she got here, how she got here, or even why she's here in the first place. No, not even.  
Because all that's occupying your mind right now is the way she's there, perched comfortably on Jake's lap on one of the couches in the distance, her arm draped casually over his shoulder.  
The way she's laughing freely at something he says, her hand lightly brushing against his as if it's second nature, her fingers briefly pushing a strand of hair away from his face.  
The way Jake doesn't even flinch, the way he doesn't pull away.  
The way he smiles at her.  
That same smile—the one you've spent weeks convincing yourself was yours—now feels like a cruel joke.  
And that does it. For the first time that night, despite all you endured, you shatter.  
You force yourself to look away, but it's too late. Your chest hollows out deeper and deeper with every passing second, until all you're left with is a final realization:  
Maybe you never really had him at all. He was never yours in the first place.  
Ni-ki and Heeseung exchange glances before looking at the expression on your face—all the color drained, as if you were merely just a body, paralyzed. Both of them open their mouths, but nothing comes out, clearly unsure of what to say, but you don't give them the chance. You're already standing, grabbing your bag at your side with trembling hands.  
"Y/N, wait—" Heeseung starts as both him and Ni-ki stand up with you, but you shake your head, his voice distant and muffled as if he's speaking to you underwater.  
"I need some air," you mumble, but you're sure neither of them hear you, your voice barely above a whisper.  
Before they can stop you, you're already weaving through the crowd, your vision blurring as you fight the overwhelming urge to break down. You stop at the door, your eyes quickly scanning the cluttered floor for your shoes. For a moment, you think you've made it—escaped the suffocating air and heartbreak clawing at your throat—but a mistake you didn't mean to make stills you.  
You glance over your shoulder, and there he is.  
Jake's eyes meet yours, and the world comes to a stop. His easy smile slips from his face and is immediately replaced by a flicker of panic, his brows drawing together as if he's just realized something, but you don't stick around to analyze it.  
Not when your heart is already in pieces on the floor.  
You quickly look the opposite way, fighting the sting of burning tears threatening to spill over as your fingers fumble desperately with the zipper of your coat when you hear a concerned voice from behind you.  
"Y/N?" Jungwon's familiar voice cuts through your haze, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder. "What—where are you going?"  
"Home," you whisper, avoiding his gaze as you finally manage to get your coat on, turning towards the door.  
Suddenly, Jungwon steps in front of you, a firm frown on his face, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? Talk to me—"  
"Jungwon, I need to go," you look up at him as your voice cracks for the nth time that night, feeling Jake's set of eyes on you still, "Please, Won."  
He hesitates, clearly confused but more worried over anything else, "Okay, but I'm driving you."  
You sigh, shaking your head, "No, it's fine—"  
"I'm driving you," Jungwon repeats, leaving no room for argument as he's already grabbing his coat and walking out the door.  
Not bothering to look behind you to see if Jake's still watching, you follow Jungwon out to the hallway, the chill of the air feeling like a fresh wave of emotions crashing over you all at once: embarrassment, anger, heartbreak.  
You're too caught up in your spinning thoughts to even notice the sound of frantic footsteps behind you until a voice cuts through the silence.  
"Y/N."  
His voice is quiet, almost drowned out by the muffled hum of music and laughter seeping from the party you should've escaped from a long time ago.  
But still, you hear it anyway—because of course you do. Because it's him. And no matter how much you wish you didn't, you'd silence the entire world just to hear that voice.  
And you hate it.  
You hate how your entire body freezes mid-step, you hate how every nerve within you comes alive at the sound of his voice, you hate how your heart stumbles, as if trying to root itself in the pain you've been trying so hard to outrun.  
You turn around slowly, against every ounce of logic telling you to keep walking. And when your eyes land on him—on the raw, desperate, almost broken look on his face—you hate yourself even more.  
Because even now, even after everything, your heart still sinks at the sight. And you hate how you give him the power to break you with just one look.  
“Can we talk?” Jake asks, his voice low and unsteady as he takes a small step towards you.  
From beside you, Jungwon hesitates, his gaze flickering between you and Jake. After a beat, he nods, "I'll get the car. Wait here."  
He spares Jake a final look of warning before nudging you for comfort and stepping into the elevator.  
The elevator doors close, leaving you and Jake alone in the hallway, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions.  
You swallow hard, your throat tight, but you steel yourself, "What do you want, Jake?"  
You shift your weight and instinctively cross your arms, a defensive barrier between you and the boy you spent too long letting into your heart. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the vulnerability in them makes your resolve falter. 
He takes a hesitant step towards you before exhaling shakily, running a hand through his hair.  
“I—I messed up tonight. I didn’t mean to...," he trails off, his words fumbling, his eyes searching yours in desperation, his heart breaking at the way your tears are a second away from falling over. 
"...to completely ignore me all night? Make me feel like nothing?" You finish for him, your quiet voice breaking despite your attempt to stay composed.  
"No. God, no. You're not nothing," he says quickly, his voice faltering on the last word. "Y/N, you matter so much to me."  
“Well it definitely didn't feel that way,” your voice is barely audible, but you finally look up at him, the hurt finally bubbling to the surface. “After everything you said—promised, everything we talked about…” 
"I know, I just—" he hesitates, his voice barely above a whisper. He takes a tentative step closer, his movements slow and careful, like he's afraid you'll break if he gets too close. "I was nervous." 
"It’s been so long, and I didn’t know what to say, how to act. I wanted to get it right—to make it perfect—but instead, I just—" he stops, dragging another frustrated hand through his hair. His eyebrows knit together in that familiar way that once made your heart flutter, but now only adds to the ache in your chest. 
You let out a hollow laugh, the bitter sound foreign even to your own ears, “Well, congratulations, Jake. You managed to mess it up anyway.” 
“Please,” he looks devastated, his hands trembling at his sides. “Y/N, please don’t think I don’t care about you. I do. More than you know. I just—I don't know how to do this. I panicked and I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear."  
"Then why was...," you look at him, your eyes still stinging from all the unshed tears as you take a shaky breath, “...why was she all over you tonight? Why didn’t you stop her?” 
He falters, his shoulders slumping under the weight of your question, “It wasn’t what it looked like. I didn’t—I couldn’t—” 
“You couldn’t,” you echo, the words spilling out in a rush now, each one cutting him deeper. “I should've known. Let me guess, she wants to get back together, right?"  
Jake's silence is deafening, and it immediately answers your question. He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. The way he looks at you—eyes wide and filled with regret, lips trembling as if searching for the right words—confirms everything you were afraid of. 
You squeeze your eyes shut, a shaky breath escaping your lips—a sound caught somewhere between a scoff and a choked sob. No matter how hard you try, the wall holding back your emotions cracks under the weight of it all. The doubts you’ve tried so hard to bury suddenly resurface, crashing over you like waves, each one carrying the sting of every insecurity, every fear you’ve ever had about this moment. Your chest feels tight, your heart splintering under the realization that everything you were afraid of might be true. 
"Jake, I can't do this," you whisper, shaking your head. "I can't be the person you lean on while you try to figure out what you want."  
"No, no—Y/N, I do know what I want," he pleads, his voice cracking as he tries to step closer. "And it’s you. Always been you, Y/N. Everything I said—I meant it."  
His words hang heavy in the air, the faint echo of the party music filtering through the cracks in the door and into the quiet hallway. You look away, refusing to let him see the way your tears finally spill over.  
"You promised," you let out softly and slowly, through your sniffles. “You promised you wouldn't hurt me. You said you'd prove that I could trust you, that I didn't have to be scared. You knew I was worried, Jake. And you...you hurt me anyways."  
"And I swear I meant every word I said. I still do," Jake says, his voice desperate as he shakes his head. He steps even closer, his hand reaching out and brushing against yours, but you pull back before he can close the distance. "You have to believe me. Please, Y/N. You're the only one."  
You shake your head again, the tears now freely rushing down your cheeks despite your best efforts, "I—I don't know if I can believe that anymore, Jake. I want to, I really, really do. But tonight..."  
Jake’s face falls, the weight of your pain crashing into him all at once. His lips tremble as he struggles to hold himself together, his eyes turning glassy themselves. The sight of you—broken, because of him—cuts deeper than he thought was humanly ever possible. His voice is barely above a whisper, raw and pleading, “Y/N, I’m so sorry. I—God, please. Please give me a chance.” 
You look at him—at the boy who became your safe space these past few months—and all you feel is the ache in your heart.  
"I can't do this right now, Jake," you finally let out through your broken voice as you take a step back. "I think I just need space."  
The words hang in the air like a death sentence. His breath hitches as if your words physically hit him in the face, "Y/N..." 
Your phone suddenly buzzes, a text from Jungwon letting you know he's outside. You glance down at it, then back at Jake. For a moment, you hesitate, your heart screaming at you to stay—to give him the chance he's yearning for. But your brain knows better. 
"I have to go," you murmur softly, as you take a final step back, turning away before more tears threaten to spill all over again. You force yourself to keep walking, fighting the overwhelming urge to look back—to let him pull you into his arms, where you wished so desperately you belonged.  
Frozen, Jake watches helplessly as you walk away, his chest tightening with every step you take. Everything feels like it's caving in, regret clawing at him the more he lets you walk further away. He opens his mouth to say something—anything—but the words fail him, silenced by the weight of his own mistakes.  
To Jake, the sounds of the party are now far in the distance, drowned out by the pounding in this ears. Instead, the hallway falls into a haunting silence, broken only by the faint echo of your retreating steps—a cruel reminder of what he's just let slip away.  
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The car ride starts in complete silence, the only sound between you and Jungwon the soft hum of his engine and the faint sound of whatever playlist he was playing in the background. You stare out the window, watching the city lights blur together, your coat clutched tightly under your grasp as if it's the only thing keeping you sane.  
Jungwon glances at you out the corner of his eye, his hands steady on the steering wheel. He doesn't say anything at first, but you know him well enough to sense the storm brewing in his head.  
"Okay," he finally says, as if on cue, breaking the silence. "Spill."  
You don't respond, your eyes still fixed on the surrounding city breezing by you, as if the passing view could somehow erase the memory of him. Your fingers dig further into the fabric of your coat, your knuckles going numb.  
Jungwon gives you a few more moments of silence, but when you don't make any sign of responding, he speaks up again. 
"Y/N," his voice softens, but the edge of his concern cuts through. "Don't do that thing where you shut people out. Especially me, you know I hate that."  
"I'm not—" you start, but your voice wavers, and the lie dies on the tip of your tongue.  
“You are," he exhales sharply from beside you, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything, but don't pretend you're fine when you're clearly not."  
The words sit heavy in the air as you swallow hard, your throat burning as you finally whisper, "It's stupid, Jungwon."  
He doesn't take his eyes off the road, but his tone is firm, "I'm sure if it's got you looking like this, it's not stupid."  
You want to argue, to tell him to just let it go, but the hurt pressing down on your chest is too much. The ache in your body threatens to take over again, and you hate it. You hate how the tears form again, how you can still see Jake looking at you like that, like you were breaking right in front of him and he didn't know how to stop it.  
Jungwon waits. He doesn't push, because he knows you. He knows you're just hurting, struggling to grasp your overwhelming emotions, so he gives you the time you need. But his quiet patience is unbearable, like he's peeling back every layer of your resolve just by being there, and eventually, you give in.  
"It's Jake," you finally choke out, the name tumbling from your lips like a curse.  
Jungwon doesn't respond immediately, but you can feel the shift in his demeanor. His jaw tightens, and his fingers flex against the wheel, "I figured as much honestly, after what I saw in the hallway, but what exactly happened, Y/N?"  
You shake your head, your voice shaky, "It doesn't matter. I—I just feel so stupid, Won. Like, how could I think..." 
You trail off, biting the inside of your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Jungwon gives you a softened glance, signaling you to continue whenever you're ready to.  
You take a deep breath before you speak up again, "How could I ever think I was good enough for him, you know?"  
There's a silence that follows after your words and you hear Jungwon take in a deep inhale.  
"This isn't on you, Y/N. This has nothing to do with whether you're enough or not," Jungwon's voice is steady, but there's a firm edge to it now. "Look, I don't want to overstep or anything...and I definitely don't want to vouch for him—especially right now but...are you sure he's not just freaking out?"  
You tilt your head over at the boy next to you, "Freaking out about what?"  
"You," Jungwon says simply like it's the most obvious thing in the world.  
"That doesn't make any sense," you start shaking your head. "Why would he—"  
"Because you're you," Jungwon interrupts, his tone matter-of-fact as he keeps his eyes trained on the road in front of him. "And Jake's a complete idiot, but even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."  
You blink, Jungwon's words sinking into all the cracks formed within you, "You really think he cares about me that much?"  
“Are you kidding?” Jungwon scoffs, his expression a mix of disbelief and exasperation. “Y/N, the guy looks at you like you hung his moon and stars. Trust me, I’ve seen it.” 
And you don't know what comes over you, but Jungwon's words hit you like a punch to the gut, and suddenly, the tears you've been holding back come rushing forward, hot and relentless. You cover your face with your hands, your body shaking as the sobs you've been swallowing all night finally make their way out.  
Jungwon quickly looks over at you and, without hesitation, glances over his shoulder to pull over to the side of the road, the soft clicking of the hazard lights mixing in with your cries. When he finally puts the car in park, he doesn't say anything and just leans back in his seat, his hand resting lightly on your shoulder—close enough to remind you he's there, but not too much to smother you.  
"I'm sorry," you manage to gasp out between sobs, your hands going up to wipe your face as all the overwhelming emotions finally take over you.  
"Don't," Jungwon says firmly, "Don't apologize for feeling like this."  
You take a shaky breath, trying to pull yourself together as your sobs eventually start to slow down, "I just don't understand. If he cares so much, why does this hurt so bad?"  
"I don't think it's about how much he cares," Jungwon sighs, as if carrying your pain alongside you. "Sometimes...sometimes people care so much that they don't know what to do with it. They panic. They overthink. And they mess up in the worst ways because they don't know how to handle what they're feeling."  
You look up at him, your face still wet with tears, "So you're saying it's an excuse."  
"No," Jungwon replies, quickly shaking his head fervently. "Definitely not an excuse. Jake screwed up, Y/N. Big time. And it's 100% on him to fix that, not you. But—"  
He pauses and thinks for a second, his words deliberate, "—it doesn't mean his feelings aren't real. Or that he doesn't care about you."  
You look away, glancing down at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the hem of your coat as you take in Jungwon's words.  
"It's just feels like...like I'm the only one who got hurt here, Won. Like I'm the only one who..," you trail off, unable to form your thoughts into a coherent sentence, but leave it up to Jungwon to always fully understand you.  
"You're not the only one," he says softly. "He's hurting too, Y/N. Maybe not in the same way, and maybe he doesn't deserve any sympathy, but I can see it. I've seen it. Jake...Jake isn't Jake without you. And honestly? That idiot is probably tearing himself apart right now."  
Your lips part, but the words don't find you. Instead, you let the weight of Jungwon's words sink in, unsure what to do with how true they may be.  
"You don't have to forgive him right now," Jungwon adds after a moment. "Hell, you don't even have to forgive him at all. Honestly, that might satisfy me just a bit. But maybe...maybe you owe it to yourself to hear him out. Not for him, but for you."  
You turn to Jungwon, your lips forming into the smallest pout, "But what if it just makes everything worse?"  
He gives you a faint, grounding smile, equal parts reassuring and honest.  
"Then you walk away knowing you did everything you could—for yourself. And if it does come to that," he shrugs lightly, "we'll figure it out together."  
You're quiet for a long moment, the thought of walking away from Jake and everything he means to you terrifying you…but you know Jungwon's right. You owe yourself the chance to try—even if the unknown outcome fails you.  
With a shaky breath, you nod, brushing away the last of your tears, "Thanks, Jungwon."  
"You're welcome," Jungwon hums in acknowledgement before his lips curve into a small grin, the atmosphere lightening slightly, "but, uh, could you at least use the tissues in the glove compartment before my seats turn into a snot rag?"  
You manage to let out a small scoff of disbelief as you roll your watery eyes, "You're the worst."  
"Nah," Jungwon replies with a cheeky grin as he shifts the car back into drive, but not before he reaches over to ruffle your hair playfully. "C'mon. Let's get you home."  
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The knocking at Jungwon’s door comes at the worst possible moment. 
He’s halfway through organizing his desk—something he only attempts when he’s too frustrated to sit still—and the last thing he expects to see when he swings the door open is Jake, standing there looking like he hasn’t slept a millisecond all night. 
Jungwon makes no sign of saying anything or making a move, just staring at the older boy in question. Jakes shifts uncomfortably, running a hand through his messy hair, not used to seeing Jungwon in this sour, expressionless mood.  
"Hey," Jake finally says, his voice hesitant.  
“What do you want?” Jungwon deadpans, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed tightly over his chest. He knows he sounds harsh, but, frankly, he doesn’t care.  
Jake falters for a moment, his gaze dropping to the ground, "I...I need your help."  
Jungwon's eyes narrow, "With what, exactly?"  
He knows what, but he's not letting Jake off that easily. Not after last night.  
"With Y/N," your name hangs in the air between them as Jake's voice cracks, and Jungwon clenches his jaw before he lets out a frustrated sigh.  
"I don't think you're in any position to be asking me for help right now."  
"I know," Jake says quickly, his hands raising in surrender. "I know, okay? I screwed up big time. I—God, I don't even know where to start, Jungwon. I just...I don't want to make things worse."  
Jungwon lets out a bitter, humorless laugh, stepping back and motioning his head to let Jake enter his room, "You've already got a good head start on that, I see."  
Jake steps inside, awkwardly hovering near the door as Jungwon moves to sit on the edge of his own bed. He doesn't offer Jake a seat, and Jake doesn't ask for one.  
"She cried, you know," Jungwon says after a few moments of silence, his voice stone cold. "I had to pull over because she couldn't even hold it together long enough for me to get her home. I've known her my entire life, and I don't think I've ever seen her cry that hard, Jake."  
Jake flinches, the words physically hurting him, "I didn't mean to—"  
"Yeah, I know," the younger boy cuts him off, his voice sharp, his anger rising on behalf of you. "You didn't mean to hurt her. But you did. And now you're asking me to help you fix it like it's that easy."  
"It's not easy," Jake mutters quietly, his hands fumbling with the edge of his hoodie. "Nothing about this...none of it is easy. But I know I messed up, and I—I can't just leave things like this, I can't lose her, Jungwon. I care about her too much."  
Jungwon deadpans at his friend, fighting back the urge to scoff in his face, "If you cared about her, you wouldn't have let her walk out of that party looking like her entire world was falling apart."  
Jake looks up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with something Jungwon can't quite name...desperation, maybe. Or guilt. Or both.  
"I didn't know what to do," Jake finally admits, his voice still barely above a whisper, as if admitting to himself for the first time, too. "I saw her, and she looked so...broken. And I—I panicked, I didn't know what to do, and by the time I realized, she was gone."  
Jungwon leans back, groaning as he runs a hand over his face. The anger bubbling within him hasn't fully faded, but he knows there's something else now—something softer, something that makes it harder to keep his protective guard for you up.  
Because he knows Jake isn't lying.  
"You don't get to half-ass this, Jake," Jungwon finally says after he thinks to himself. "She's not some random girl you're trying to impress, she isn't Jenn. This is Y/N. If you want to fix things, you have to be ready to own up to everything. No excuses, no backing out. She deserves that much."  
Jake nods quickly, his eyes wide and hopeful at Jungwon's slight change in demeanor, “I will. I swear, I will.” 
"And don't think she's going to forgive you right away," Jungwon adds. "She's hurt. You have to give her time. This isn't about what you want—it's about what she needs."  
Jake swallows hard, nodding again, “I just want to talk to her. To explain. To tell her I’m sorry and—”  
His voice cracks, and he looks down, his hands trembling slightly. Jungwon lets out a sigh, his mixed feelings turning more into something closer to pity. Because as much as he wants to stay mad for your sake, he's known Jake long enough to know that he's a good guy—and that his heart is in the right place.  
But even more than that, he knows you. And he knows how much Jake means to you, even if you won't admit it, especially not now more than ever.  
"You're actually an idiot," Jungwon says after a few beats, his voice carrying a lighter tone now. "But for some godforsaken reason, knowing her, I think she might actually miss you."  
Jake looks up from his hands, his eyes searching Jungwon's face for any flicker of doubt, "You really think so?"  
Jungwon shrugs, standing up and moving towards his door, "I think you've got a lot of work to do if you want to earn her trust back. But...I think you still have a chance."  
Jake doesn't say anything as he follows Jungwon to the door, but the look on his face says enough—there's a new slight look of hope. It's small, but he's clutching onto it like it’s his lifeline.  
“You know," Jungwon says when he reaches the doorway. "Y/N’s not the type to let people in easily. She puts up walls—but with you…she let them down. You’re special to her, Jake, even if she doesn’t say it. Don’t throw that away. For her sake, and yours.” 
“I won’t,” Jake promises, his voice steady now. ���Thank you, Jungwon.” 
Jungwon nods at the older boy before giving him a faint smile, "And just so you know, I defended you yesterday. So don't prove me wrong or I'm actually going to deck you."  
Jake lets out a weak laugh as he hangs outside Jungwon's door, "Noted. I promise I won't let her down again."  
Jungwon doesn’t respond, just closes the door with a soft click, and hopes—for all their sakes—that Jake means it.  
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Jake [5:12PM]: hi Y/N   Jake [5:12PM]: i know I'm the last person you want to hear from right now. and i don’t blame you at all   Jake [5:13PM]: but i cant just stay silent and let this sit between us, and i value you too much to not respect you needing space and just show up at your door  Jake [5:14PM]: even though it’s killing me to stay away  Jake [5:14PM]: after you left the party last night, i went back inside. i told jenn that whatever we had in the past is exactly that, the past. and i swear to you, Y/N, there’s nothing between us. there hasn’t been for a long time. and it’s my fault for making it seem otherwise.   Jake [5:15PM]: and as for how i acted…i don’t even know where to start. i fucked up extremely. nothing will excuse my actions and i don’t expect you to forgive me. but i need to apologize properly, you deserve that much.   Jake [5:17PM]: please let me see you, Y/N. i don’t deserve it, and i don’t deserve you. but you mean everything to me, and i hate that i hurt you. and i promise, if you let me, i’ll do everything to make it up to you.  
You stare at the phone in your hand, the messages feeling like salt to an open wound. The words on the screen begin to blur together as tears prick your eyes, spilling over before you even realize it. You don't bother wiping them away—the sting in your chest too raw, too heavy. Each word feels like Jake is standing right there in front of you, his voice soft and broken, tangled with regret.  
You tell yourself to stop reading. You've already gone through the same messages at least a hundred times in the past ten minutes, overanalyzing each syllable as if they hold the answers to all of your questions.  
And yet, you can't stop.  
You want to be angry. You are angry. Or, at least, you think. Because beneath the flame of your anger that's already threatening to die out? There's an ache you can't ignore—a small, stubborn part of you that refuses to let go to the sincerity in his words, clinging onto the hope that he's telling you the truth.  
You mean everything to me, and I hate that I hurt you. I promise, if you let me, I'll do everything to make it up to you.  
The ache twists harder, curling into doubt. What if he means it? What if he's telling the truth?  
But of course, the fear rises just as quickly. Because what if he's not? What if you let him back in, and it all falls apart again? What if you let yourself believe in him, giving him the second chance he's asking for, only to have your heart shattered worse than before?  
And then, there's Jungwon's voice, soft but steady, cutting through the chaos brewing in your mind: "Even idiots get scared when they care about someone as much as he clearly cares about you."  
Your breath catches.  
Because that's the worst part. Knowing that maybe—just maybe—Jake really does care. Knowing that maybe he's telling the truth—and you're the one too afraid to take the risk, ready to build up the walls Jake's managed to get through.  
Your phone screen suddenly dims, pulling you out of your thoughts and back into the moment. You blink rapidly, wiping at your face, your mind a mess of emotions you can't untangle or describe.  
Fear. Hope. Doubt. 
And something else—something you're afraid to admit, but you know is unmistakably real.  
And it's stronger than the fear churning in your chest—it's something that's pulling you forward.  
Your heart pounds almost out of your rib cage as you let out a shaky breath, the weight on your shoulders pressing harder and harder with every second you hesitate. The ache doesn't let up, but neither does your hope.  
So you stop thinking altogether, letting your heart take control instead.  
You shut your eyes, as if bracing yourself for a crash, take a deep breath, unlock your phone, and let your fingers fly across the screen, each word feeling like a leap off a cliff.  
You hit send.  
Y/N [5:30PM]: hi jake  Y/N [5:30PM]: you can come over 
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The soft knock at your door startles you, even though you know it’s coming.  
“Y/N?” 
His voice. Jake’s voice.  
Your heart clenches painfully, a conflicting mix of longing and hurt washing over you all at once. It hasn't even been a full day since the party, but the weight of his absence has already hollowed you out, leaving a hole you can't ignore. You know he's the one who caused it—that the cracks in your heart are his doing—but at the same time, the stubborn part of you whispers that he's also the only one who can mend them.  
You make your way to the door, your movements hesitant as you crack it open, peek out, and...there he is.  
"Hi," Jake says softly.  
He's a mess. A beautiful, saddened mess—his hair messy, like he's been running his hands through it all day, his eyes rimmed with the kind of exhaustion that isn't just physical. One hand is buried deep in his jacket, and in the other— 
"Flowers?" You ask, raising a brow in surprise.  
Jake's ears turn red. "Yeah. Uh, I didn't know if you had a favorite, so I got—"  
You open the door wider, revealing the full bouquet—daisies, tulips, roses, all wrapped together in crinkled tissue paper.  
"—a little bit of everything," he finishes awkwardly, his voice trailing off, pausing for a second before holding them out to you with a sheepish smile.  
Your lips twitch subconsciously, despite everything.  
"Jake, you're literally allergic."  
His mouth opens, then closes, the redness from his ears now spreading to his cheeks.  
"Well, yeah, but—," Jake mumbles, shifting on his feet. "—not, like, deadly or anything dramatic like that."  
He pauses, his voice dropping into something softer, more vulnerable, "I just wanted you to have them. That's all."  
You feel your insides tighten, the sincerity in his voice getting to you. For a moment, all you can manage to do is stare at him—at the way his eyes are silently pleading, wide and unsure.  
You hesitate for a second, then step back and open the door wider.  
"Thank you," you say quietly, your fingers brushing against his as you take the bouquet, sending a flicker of warmth through you. "Come in."  
Jake hesitates, his eyes searching yours like he's not sure if he's actually allowed to. When you turn away and walk towards your kitchen, he finally steps inside, kicking off his shoes quickly and hovering by the door like he doesn't know what to expect next.  
You set the flowers down on the counter, adjusting them carefully before turning back to him. He's still standing there, stiff and uncertain, the distance between you feeling larger than ever before.  
"So..." You say, crossing your arms tightly across yourself, shifting your weight as a way to ground yourself—though the lump in your throat makes it feel impossible.  
Jake exhales shakily, his hands fidgeting by his sides and gaze darting to the floor before finally landing on you, "I came to apologize. Properly."  
You blink at him, expression unreadable, "You already said sorry."  
Your voice comes out sharper than intended, surprising even yourself, but the words leave before you can stop them. Jake flinches, just slightly, but he nods, knowing he deserved that. 
"Not like I should have," he says, stepping closer, his voice low and careful, like he's afraid you'll run out of your own apartment. "I know I messed up. I hurt you, and I hate that I did. I hate that I made you feel like you weren't enough or that someone else could ever compare to you, Y/N."  
Your arms tighten around yourself as if the words might knock the breath out of you as look away, unsure if you can meet the rawness in his eyes.  
"Last night," Jake continues, his eyes filling with guilt, "I didn't handle last night right. And not just how I handled Jenn, but I let my own insecurities and stupid fears of being perfect for you get in the way. I let it happen and mess everything up. I let you think that you didn't matter to me, and I will never forgive myself, Y/N."  
His words hang in the air, heavy yet sincere, and for a moment, all you can do is stare at him as you process his words slowly.  
"And I don't expect you to forgive me either, Y/N," Jake's voice wavers before he continues, "but I need you to know that I'm so, so sorry. No excuses. For all of it—for making you feel like anything less than everything, for making you feel like you weren't my first choice. Because you are. You're my only, Y/N." 
His words hit you with a force that crashes over the walls you tried so desperately to build. They're overwhelming yet tender, like rediscovering a piece of yourself you hadn't even realized you lost. And you want to let them comfort you, you do. But the pain from last night lingers deep down, reminding you of why you built those walls in the first place.  
For a moment, the silence stretches on longer than you intend, the weight of his words settling in the air between you. Jake doesn't look away though—his gaze unwavering, vulnerable, and raw.  
As though he's laid himself bare before you, giving you the power to either accept or shatter him completely.  
When you finally find your voice, it trembles despite your best efforts, "Jake...I don't know if I can just forget what happened."  
"I'm not asking you to forget," he says quickly, taking another step closer until there's only a few feet left between you. "I just want the chance to fix us. I can't lose you like this, Y/N."  
Your breath catches at the proximity, his presence pulling you in like gravity. The pain from last night tries to claw its way back into your heart—sharp and bitter—but his warmth reminds you of something else that refuses to be ignored.  
That flicker of hope that's demanding your attention, screaming at you to just let him in—not just for his sake, but for you. 
You take a deep breath, finally meeting his gaze. "Jake, I don't need you to...to be this perfect person. I don't need you to prove anything to me."  
You pause, pushing past the lump in your throat, "Because since the beginning, I always believed you. And...I think I still do. Even after last night, I still believe you, Jake. No matter how hard I try to."  
Jake lets out a breath he thinks he's been holding in for hours, "Really?"  
"Yeah," you nod slowly, as if reassuring yourself as much as him. "But I don't need any of your promises or proof or any of that. I just...I just need you as you."  
His eyes soften at you as he nods so quickly it's almost desperate.   
"And I need you to be honest with me, Jake," you continue before he can speak. "If we do this, I need to know I can trust you. Because I don't know if I can do this...this waiting game anymore."  
"You can," he says immediately, closing the distance between you two, making your breath hitch. You can see the way his hands are trembling, the slight quiver in his lips. "You can trust me. No more hesitation. I'm all in, Y/N. This is it for me, you're it."   
You search his face for any sign of doubt, any speck of hesitation. But all you find is his sincerity—so hopeful and so real—the kind that makes you want to let him in fully and let your walls crumble all over again.  
So you do.  
"Okay," you say softly, almost as if you're testing the word.  
Jake's eyes widen, the relief and hope flooding his features. Slowly, as if asking for permission, he reaches out, his fingers brushing against yours tentatively.  
"Okay?" He whispers, his voice barely audible to you as his eyes flicker between your hands and your face.  
You nod, your own hand turning over so your fingers curl around his in an instinctive gesture that feels so natural it makes you want to scream. The warmth of his touch feels like the first real comfort you've felt in forever, and it's enough to make your resolve slip.  
"But," you add softly, your eyes not leaving the way his hand wraps around yours so perfectly, "this doesn't mean everything's fine. We need to talk. We need to figure out where we stand, and where we go from there."  
Jake nods again, his grip on your hand tightening slightly, "We will. Whatever it takes, Y/N, I'll do it. I need you to know how much you mean to me and I'll never stop trying to show you that."  
You let out a shaky breath as you take in his words, finally looking up from your intertwined hands to meet his eyes, your own slowly filling with the tears you've been holding back. 
"You really hurt me, Jake," you say quietly, your voice breaking from the sheer weight of your vulnerability being laid bare.  
Jake's face crumbles instantly, guilt etched into every line of his expression. Without hesitation, his free hand comes up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb light brushing away the tears that fall, as if he's afraid you might pull away.  
Your eyes flutter closed at the warmth of his hand, and despite the emotions raging inside you, you let yourself lean into him. It feels both reckless, yet inevitable, like free-falling and trusting—knowing—he'll catch you.  
"I know," he whispers, his voice thick with emotion he can't swallow down. "And I'll spend as long as it takes to deserve you, Y/N. I'll never make you feel like that again."  
You nod weakly, and before you can think too much, he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into the safety of his chest, his chin moving to rest on top of your head as his warmth envelops you completely.  
And for the first time in a long time, you let yourself break, burying your face into his chest as the tears flow freely, the weight of everything finally breaking free as you let yourself melt into his tight embrace.  
It's not perfect. It's not a fix-all.  
But as Jake holds you close, whispering quiet reassurances into your hair, you know it's a start.  
And a start is all you need.  
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
epilogue:
“Hi, pretty.”  
“Hi, Jake.”
On the other end of the call, Jake lets out a playful scoff. Even with the slight lag, you can see his lips twitch into that familiar pout—the one that still gives you butterflies, no matter how many times you've see it now, even a year later.
“After all we’ve been through, you still won’t give me a cute pet name?” 
You roll your eyes, biting back a grin, “What do you want me to say? Hi, my handsome, perfect, kindest, funniest, boyfriend in the whole wide world?”  
Jake leans closer to the camera, his expression completely serious as if you should already know his answer, "...Yes." 
Giggles burst out of you, shaking your head at his antics. “You’re too cute to be doing all that, Jake. Pick a struggle.” 
He clutches his chest dramatically, “You know, what? You’re my struggle—I fly across time zones, run on three hours of sleep, and you still won’t give me a crumb of your affection?” 
“You’re exhausting.” 
“And yet…,” Jake trails off with a teasing smirk, his voice dropping into that playful, yet low lilt that still makes your stomach flip to this day. "Here you are, calling me at 1AM in the morning.”  
Your cheeks flush as you glance away from the screen, trying to ignore the way his teasing gaze makes you feel, "Don’t' get confused, it's not like I wanted to or anything. I just figured someone should remind you to go to bed or else you'll look like a zombie tomorrow at the fanmeet."  
Jake laughs softly, the sound grounding you in a certain way only he ever can. "You're so thoughtful, babe. My number-one hater and number-one fan, all at once. I'm so lucky."  
You send him an air kiss, the teasing grin on your face mirrored by the fond one tugging at his lips. He looks at you like he did in that first-ever call way back then—like you're his whole world, and he can't believe you're real.  
"How's the jet lag this time?" You ask, steering the conversation to safer ground.  
"It's not so bad," he shrugs, despite the clear exhaustion in his voice. "At least this trip is only for a few days. Then I can come back to the comfort of our bed."  
You raise an eyebrow, "My bed."  
Jake's eyes narrow, "Our bed. Just admit it—you miss me."  
You pause. "Maybe. Just a little."  
His grin widens, and for a moment, neither of you say anything, the conversation lulling into an easy silence—the kind of warmth that only comes with knowing someone so well.  
Finally, you shift under your blanket, getting comfortable as Jake watches you through this screen, his gaze tender, as though memorizing the curve of your smile, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear.  
"You should sleep," you murmur, holding your phone closer to your face. The glow of your phone reflecting off your soft features sends palpations to Jake's chest so loud he almost doesn't hear your words. 
"Mm, I really should," Jake sighs, though he doesn't move an inch. "I'll talk to you soon, yeah?" 
"Mmhm," you hum, your eyes closing at the softness of his voice.  
“Sleep tight. I love you,” his says, voice soft and deliberate, making sure you feel every word. 
“Goodnight, Jakey,” you tease, letting the smirk creep into your voice, peeking an eye open just to catch his reaction. 
Jake groans dramatically, running a hand down his face, “Y/N…not this again.”  
You giggle, the fondness within you growing tenfold as you take in his face—the slight pout of his lips, his messy hair, his eyes shining with unwavering adoration for you. 
“I said I love youuu,” he whines, dragging out the last word, his lips tugging into the tiniest of smiles, his entire universe reflecting from his eyes.  
Finally, you give in, smiling sweetly.  
“I love you, too, Jake. You already know.”  
And you’ve never meant anything more.  
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
Songs that Remind me of Y/N:
From the first call to forever—you've always been my favorite melody.   Yours, Jake <3
"As I Am" – Justin Bieber (ft. Khalid)  
"Daylight" – Taylor Swift 
"DIE 4 YOU" - Dean 
"Psycho, Pt. 2" – Russ 
"Heaven" – Bazzi 
"Every Kind of Way" – H.E.R. 
"Off My Face" – Justin Bieber 
"Before You" – Benson Boone 
"Sunflower" – Post Malone & Swae Lee 
"Pink + White" – Frank Ocean
"No Doubt" – Enhypen <3 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・
the end! if you made it all the way, this is for you:
⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡♡♡♡♡♡
p.s. i wanted to leave the ending kinda up to interpretation—hence the time skip to a year later..but lowkey what if i wrote short drabbles/scenes of things jake does to gain Y/N's trust again, from small to big gestures etc etc..lmk if that's something anyone would wanna see !!
<3, addie
m.list here!
tag list (love you all <3):
(i hope it let me tag everyone!)
@thesassy-mia @ikeulove @renaishun @xylatox @puma-riki @blackberryrains @dreamiestay @junislqve @lamin143 @dreamy-carat @etherealhan @vvenusoncasual @belovedsthings @somuchdard @sumzysworld @mirouie @almondtofu006 @fancypeacepersona @vivimura @hollxe1 @missthang600 @sugarikiz @sanasour @enhamonsterghoul @etherealriki
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maxwellhauskaffee · 3 days ago
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Thank you! People forget it's the 1830s. What's considered normal and ethical then is different now. Same will happen for our time.
By all accounts, both are mutually providing societally moral-loving gestures and one could argue they're a bit more progressive for their time. They're trying to uphold social roles they believe show love and fidelity.
It's as my mother said, "I've been married to your father for over forty years, and we still will never know everything about each other. You can never fully know someone. Doesn't matter if you date for two or twenty. Marriage is a roll of the dice and a matter of trust. Trust that what this person's shown continues to show. Understanding there are deeper layers to them, good and bad, that you'll never reach, even if they want you to."
She also mentioned the obvious: the real test begins after marriage. Once vowes are exchanged and you live together, you're locked in for the hard game.
Ellen and Thomas have only been married for a few months? The hardest years of marriage tend to be the first three. Both partners REALLY have to work through things. It's why "for better or for worse" is a thing.
Sans Orlok, we'll never truly know how Ellen and Thomas would fare. Yet I think both are trying very hard to make it work.
Thomas wants a good life for Ellen, especially with her mental condition ( that he doesn't know to be otherworldly ). It would be a Victorian death sentence to not strive for financial stability. Especially if he has to medically provide for Ellen.
Even in her fits, Thomas doesn't abhor her. Is he scared? Sure. Who the fuck wouldn't be? I had seizures growing up and they scared people. I get it. Instead, Thomas tries to console Ellen before his trip and many times after.
When seeing her condition upon return, he wants to call a doctor which standard of the time. I don't think it was out of absolute fear, but in desperation to help her. In fact, he keeps her with those he knows she enjoys the company of for her mental well-being.
Of course, this is the early game where most make sincere efforts due to the honeymoon stage. But considering the intense shit they go through in the course of a few weeks, it's clear they're still trying to uphold their vows not out of societal obligation, but love ( with a bucket of trauma bonding ).
I don’t think we talk enough about how despite being married Ellen and Thomas were essentially in the first month of living together stage we would consider a part of dating, because it’s Germany 1838. It’s kind of unfair to judge their relationship as unsalvageable when we only see them at the stage where major problems first start popping up and needing to be worked through.
It’s also unfair to judge them how we would view a relationship at the newly wed stage (usually engagement after at least a few months of living together—usually a few years after), like yeah they’ve written letters and had little supervised dates pre engagement/post engagement, but that’s not the same as living together at all.
Also when major problems did start popping up that they needed to work through they’d both gotten a large serving of trauma (both mental and physical), so they’re not exactly operating at normal capacity then either. So we can’t really judge how’d they’d have worked through problems by that angle either.
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housederiva · 3 months ago
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Here's every version of the letter the Inquisitor gets from their LI plus Varric (which didn't make me cry at all)
If your Inky didn't romance anyone:
Inquisitor, Greetings from miserable, rainy Minrathous! (Don't tell Dorian I called it that.) The rotten weather here is making me nostalgic for Skyhold. The mountains were freezing, but at least the air didn't smell like wet garbage. We'll have to get in another game of Wicked Grace, soon. Harding picked up the trail again. I'd tell you not to worry, but I know how useless that is. Instead, I'll just say: I've got a great team on this. Neve could stare down the Maker, and wait until you meet Rook. He's/She's/They're a natural: Smart, resourceful, completely unpredictable. You'd like him/her/them, as long as you don't try to beat him/her/them at cards. Chuckles'll never know what hit him. I'll write again once we have something solid for you. Drinks at the Hanged Man are on me when this is over. Take care of yourself. Varric
Blackwall:
My love, You have summoned me to Minrathous, and I will answer your call, as soon as responsibilities here in the South allow. I have missed being by your side. Will these troubles be the last we face? The world seems always to conspire, through duty or disaster, to pull you away from me. I do not resent it. You are dedicated to purposes far larger and more significant than myself. I hope you do not think me a fool for hoping that one day, your only concern will be the color you wish our walls to be painted, or the flowers we will plant beside our gate. I'm partial to carnations. Yours always, Thom
Cassandra:
My love, We are no strangers to duty, or the separation it demands of us. You head for Tevinter, and though I want to go with you, there is work we both must do. I will not falter in the tasks that wait before me and I pray my actions, in whatever measure they can, will keep you safe. The others see only confidence in my resolve, but you have always known more than mere appearance. I confess to you, and you alone, that I am afraid. I'm afraid of what may happen, that Thedas will face such turmoil as it did before. I know not what awaits us. Yet even in the face of uncertainty, there are two things I cannot doubt and never will. The first is that our paths are never separated long. That I will find you at my side when I need you, as you will find me at yours. I will play my part in this and follow as soon as I can. The second thing I never doubt is you. Whatever lies before you, trust yourself. Trust your heart as I trust it. It will not lead you astray. Yours, Cassandra
Cullen:
The top of the letter has been punctured by small, sharp teeth, leaving most of a beloved name and a few sentences chewed to read. I fear the puppy started on this letter shortly after I did. I'd start over, but I must send this tonight if it's to reach you. Matters are settled here and I make for Tevinter as soon as possible. I almost believed chaos might spare us this time. I can't say I wished to see Minrathous before now, but I am eager to see you. I long to see your face and know that you are all right. You are I've There's I wish I was better at putting into writing all that's in my mind. For now, simply know that I love you. It is the most cherished constant of my life. The days ahead will not be easy. I know there's much you carry, more than many realize. But whatever you must face, you will not meet it alone. You have my sword, my counsel, my - I could write this list forever when all I mean to say is this - Whatever you need of me, I am yours. Cullen
Dorian:
Amatus, I'm writing. Again. Yes, the sending crystals still work and yes, you'll be in Minrathous in a few short weeks. But a letter, written in blind longing, is real. It can be touched, and it can be held, when ink and paper must substitute for your skin on mine and my breath in your ear. I used to scoff at frequent declarations of affection. Trite, I thought. Save them for rare and precious moments. But time and love are no longer things I care to squander, especially not as we race again toward calamity. And so, in each of these fleeting, ephemeral seconds, I will tell you that I love you. Whether penned or spoken, or conveyed by glance or action, I love you. In this moment, and in all the moments to come, for as long as they do, I love you. I will find you soon. Yours, Dorian
Iron Bull
Hey, Kadan, Not the first time we've marched toward different battles. I know you're keeping the crap from catching fire up in Tevinter. Wish I could be there, but I'll make sure there's a world for you to come back to when you're done dealing with crazy vints and stupid Antaam and whatever other crap Solas kicked up. (Shit, the Antaam. Remember when I was worried what would happen if I went tal-vashoth? That right there!) I know you're gonna be careful, and you've got Morrigan there. Just take care of yourself. If anything happens to you, I'm going to have to take Krem and the Chargers and stomp across all of Tevinter to come get you. It'll be a whole thing, and you know it'll upset Dorian. Being apart from you made me realize something else. I spent so long being whatever the Ben-Hassrath wanted me to be. An investigator. An agent. A mercenary sending reports. These past years, since the Inquisition ended, I've been able to just be what I want to be. And what I really want to be is yours. I like the person I am when I'm with you. So come back safe. Love, The signature appears to be a stylized rendering of the Iron Bull's head.
Josephine:
My Dearest Lord/Lady, I have spoken to friends in Minrathous. They offer us their hospitality, not to mention shelter from the worst intrigues of the Archon's Palace. While you're well acquainted with the roving eyes of grand courts, please take care. Tevinter's regard can be the oldest and cruelest of them all. The family writes the weather back home is beautiful. I do miss our quiet times together. There is a question I've wanted to ask you for so long. I would like to pretend I have been busy, or it was not the proper time. But, if I am being honest, I only waited because I have been afraid of choosing a poor moment. Please, let me make a promise to you here. When we return to Antiva, I will ask you, on the steps of the estate, if you will do me a great honor. And I dream you will say yes. Always yours, Josephine Postscript: I cannot believe it nearly slipped my mind. Yvette and Lord Otranto send their best wishes, and hope to see us back home in time to welcome their third child.
Sera:
(An artistically doodled journal page presumably from the Inquisitor's partner, Sera.) Keep this as close as I need you. (A drawing of a pile of flowers, with lines like it's moving, an arrow pointing to it labeled "us.") - North again, Mini-wrathus still stuck up its own pucker. - Magiturds are scared of us. They don't even know. - We work with Maevaris, right? She's wow. - So many Friends! Jennies in all the walls! - We kill him this time. He took from us twice! (A drawing of a cracked egg scribbled out, with "can't even joke" in letters that tore the page.) - Still thinking of you sideways. - Never mind the Dalish, here's the Veil Jumpers! Tempest-kin! (A drawing of a tall, shorthaired elf (Sera?) and Irelin brandishing two fingers, backflipping as a tree explodes in runes.) - The memory thing makes my head spin. If that Rook doesn't take it, throw it out. - Tell Morrigan ppbbth! for me. - I'll also tell her ppbbth! She knows why. - Tell them to Stripe. Him. Up. I wanted more books. (More heavy scribbles that tear.) - You meet; I'll keep you safe. Then I'm your time off, and you're my time on. (The last section has different colored inks, like Sera has returned to it several times.) New naked names: -Sweet-tits (scribbled out) -Bestest (scribbled out) -Loverly (scribbled out) -Lovey (scribbled out) -My-for-always-and-ever - name's not too long, time's too short. -But "Sweet-tits," though (scribbled out)
Solas:
Vhenan, I do not know if you will see these words. My ritual is ready and will soon be set in motion. Perhaps when you read this the world will be as it once was, and you will see why all I did was necessary. I cannot ask your forgiveness, but I hope you come to understand. That night in Crestwood, when I shared the truth about your vallaslin... you do not know how close I came to breaking. I could have shared the truth, or even put my plans aside and simply stayed with you as Solas... as I wanted. I regret the pain I caused you. What I feel for you will never change. The note is unsigned, but the handwriting is Solas'.
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reidmotif · 1 year ago
Text
Behind Closed Doors
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Summary: Reader and Spencer are known to be a "tame" couple at work. They get fed up and decide to change how people see them.
Request: Reader and Spencer (in an established public relationship) where they don't do any PDA and you can hardly tell they're a couple. Reader and Spencer get offended, and decide to fool around to get caught.
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Smut
Content Warning: Reader POV, established relationship, semi-rough sex, dirty talk, heavy making-out, unprotected sex, semi-public sex
Word Count: 4.8k
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Dating Spencer Reid, in a word, could honestly be described as a dream. 
When I’d started a career at the BAU, the last thing on my mind was dating, let alone dating my coworker, but Spencer Reid had subtly woven himself into the corners of my heart with his idiosyncrasies and musings, all without my awareness- and when he'd asked me out? Saying ‘yes’ was the easiest thing I’d ever done my entire life. 
He was ridiculously old-fashioned, and I loved it. He insisted on dinner dates and opening doors for me at any possible opportunity, and I was happy to let it happen. He was a gentleman at every turn, and made me feel special in ways no one had before. If I wasn’t already hopelessly infatuated with the man prior to our relationship, I certainly was now.
A year of dating, a year of loving Spencer Reid, and I honestly couldn’t see my life without him. We’d grown our lives around each other in little ways at first, and it resulted in us being tangled up in the sweetest way imaginable. 
And while my memory isn’t as capable as my boyfriend’s, I can recall in perfect clarity about how fucking good he is in bed. It shouldn’t have surprised me like it had the first time we had sex, but when he had me pinned down to his mattress, pounding into me unlike anyone before him, touching me whilst whispering dirty nothings in my ear, I knew I was a goner. It was simply another facet of Spencer Reid that further cemented my enduring captivation to the man. 
Of course, there were rules when it came to our relationship, considering that even for a blissfully happy couple, we still worked together. Spencer loved having his hands on me, whether it was innocent or not, but when it came to the BAU and public displays of affection, there was a mutual understanding between the two of us that some things were simply kept private. 
Which is why as we stood in the bullpen, side-by-side, we exchanged horrified looks when the surprise seminar that morning was about “inappropriate workplace relationships”. To our knowledge, we’d always kept the romance to a minimum in the office, stealing a kiss here and there when no one was around, or a squeeze of the hand, but nothing beyond that. However, as the moderator for the training began, we both sighed a breath of collective relief as she brought up some suspiciously specific scenarios, realizing today’s seminar was not in fact about us, but rather our coworkers, known for their raunchy telephone escapades, two of our coworkers who were most definitely not in a relationship. 
As we trickled out of the room, exchanging giggles about the very awkward display we were made to watch just now, a very mortified Penelope Garcia approached us.
“Who blabbed?” She asked, adorably frantic as Spencer and I simply smiled and shrugged. 
“Wasn’t us.” Spencer said, a bit and gesturing to me and him. He put his hand on my shoulder and I instantly felt relaxed with the comforting weight of him on me. I gave my own chuckle, naturally bringing my hand up to touch Spencer’s as I responded to Penelope. 
“I mean, you and Derek aren’t exactly quiet about what you do over the phone.” I said, a little mischievously. “I mean remember when Strauss picked up and-”  I started, only to be met with Penelope placing a distressed finger over my lips, hurrying to silence me before I finished my sentence. 
“Shh! I thought we promised to never speak of that godforsaken incident ever again!” Penelope whisper-shrieked, only to be met with my grin. 
“My bad.” I say, while trying to soothe Penelope. I then got a little serious, moving from Spencer’s subtle touch to get closer to her.  “It’s not that bad, Pen. I’m sure everyone will forget in due time.” I said, in my most assuring tone. Unfortunately, Penelope didn’t seem very swayed. 
Derek walked to where we were standing and chatting,  coming to protectively wrap his arm around a very miserable looking Penelope. 
“Did I just hear you say ‘it isn’t that bad’?” Derek said, using air quotes for his imitation of me, laughing as he pulled Penelope closer to him. He continued, “Because from where I was, you and boy genius looked pretty worried for a second.” 
Spencer answered a little defensively, “I mean, obviously.” He replied. “We’re the only ones in the BAU in a public relationship and it’s a surprise seminar on inappropriate relationships, why wouldn’t we think it’s about us?” He explained, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head a little. 
“Because you two don’t even look like a couple!” Penelope said, still sorrowful from her unexpected callout. “Of course it’d never be about you two!” 
“What?” I say, now matching Spencer’s defensive tone from before. “It totally could be about us! And we do look like a couple.” I say, crossing my arms and standing beside him now. 
“Sorry pretty girl.” Derek speaks up, “But Penelope is right. I don’t even think I’ve seen the two of you hold hands or kiss around any of us.” 
Spencer sputtered a little at that, “Obviously! We’re at the workplace!” He says, in a higher pitched tone, fortifying his stance against Derek’s allegations. "It's common to not show PDA in professional settings."
“True love waits for nothing, Einstein.” Derek teases, and then he laughs again. “Pipe down, Reid. I’m only joking.” Spencer seemed  to retract his opposing stance reluctantly, but then Derek added, “You and (Y/N) shouldn’t worry about being appropriate in the workplace, you know? You’re both more than proper when you're in or out of here.” He said, winking, speaking with a knowing tone. 
Spencer groaned at that, but before he could retort and deny Derek’s assessment of our relationship, Derek whisked Penelope away, presumably to console her further over today’s events, leaving me and Spencer just standing there. He looked a little on edge, and I placed a hand over his shoulder, squeezing it softly. I could instantly sense the words, on some level, had gotten to him, and wanted to nip his self-doubt and nervous spiral in the bud before it could even begin. 
“You know he was just joking, right?” I say, speaking gently. 
“I know.” Spencer responded, a little bitterly. “I just.” He stopped, taking a breath before continuing. “I just hate that’s how they see us, you know?” He says, frowning. 
“Well, trust me, Spence.” I say, in an attempt to cheer him up. “This relationship has been anything but proper from the moment we’ve been together.” I say this with a small smirk, hoping he’d catch onto the scandalous undertones of my words, which he did. 
He smiled a little, before murmuring, “Thanks.” I smiled back, and let my hand drop from his shoulder again. 
“C’mon, we got a case.” I say, and he dutifully followed me into the round-table room, the previous interaction with Derek seemingly wiped away from his mind for the rest of the day. 
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It wasn’t until a few days later, in the comfort of Spencer’s apartment, (which was honestly ours, at this point) where he spoke up about the incident again. He was lazily playing with my hair as I was sprawled on his couch, my eyes closed with my head in his lap, a documentary of Spencer’s choosing playing in the background. Truthfully, I was more focused on his fingers lightly trailing over my scalp, the sensation lulling me into a state of deep relaxation and serenity, rather than the droning voice of the narrator, until his voice broke my thoughts. 
“I just don’t know why Derek would say that.” He remarked, out of nowhere. 
“Say what, baby?” I say, opening my eyes slightly. I tried to remember if we’d mentioned Derek at all tonight, and when my memory came up short, I squinted, trying to think, “What are we talking about, again?” I attempted to actually look at him from my lower angle, reading his expression for any clues. 
“You know.” He says, continuing to play with the silky strands of my loose hair, “The thing about us being a boring couple.” 
Memories of the interaction came to mind, and I nodded and let out a noise of realization. “Ah, yeah. From the sexual harassment seminar.” I closed my eyes again, and laid back in his lap. “What about it, love?” 
“It didn’t bother you?” Spencer commented, and I opened my eyes yet again, to see the face of a man who clearly hadn’t brushed off the comment like I thought he had, days ago. 
“I mean, not really, baby.” I say, carefully, trying to not offend him. “But it’s okay if you felt bothered- but I really do think Derek didn’t mean anything by it.” I say, moving out of his lap so I could better see his face. 
“Yeah, I guess.” He says, quirking his mouth to the side.  “I just hate that they think we’re boring or-” 
“Even though we both know we definitely aren’t?” I say, laughing a bit. 
“Exactly.” He responds, with a little bit of a smile. “I just wish we could somehow, I don’t know. Stick it to them? Does that sound petty?” He says, chuckling now, and rubbing the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. 
“Not at all.” I say, quickly. “But it’s not like we can just, you know, start sucking face in the bullpen.” I joke, with a giggle. 
“That we cannot.” He replies, his mood seemingly a little more uplifted from when we began our conversation. “Still.” He says, pursing his lips. 
An idea came to my mind, and I grinned a little at the thought of it. I wanted to make my boyfriend feel better, to let him know at the very least nothing about him bored me in the slightest. 
“Spence.. what if we did anyway?” I say, coming closer to him with an excited lilt in my words. 
“Make out in front of all of our colleagues?” Spencer replies, with a chuckle. “(Y/N), I love you, but no way.”  He says, immediately shutting me down, but I shook my head. 
“No, like more than that.” I respond, quickly, as the gears in my head begin to turn. “What if we like.. pretend to have sex in a closet, let them think they know what’s going on in there, and walk out, totally unscathed.” I continue, a playful glint in my eyes.
It sounded absolutely crazy, but I could tell he was definitely considering it, especially susceptible to an idea like this one after what had happened a few days ago. 
“But we wouldn’t actually be having sex- right?” Spencer says, cautiously. “Just… pretending?” He adds, adorably, biting his lip. 
“Yeah.” I respond, instantly, soothing his worries. “Trust me, having sex in a closet in a federal building seems like a pretty solid fantasy, but I’m okay with leaving that to our imaginations for now.” I say, smiling a little wildly. “So is that you agreeing to it?” I question, looking at him eagerly. 
“I guess it is.” He says, the look on his face now matching the enthusiasm on my own, and he leaned over to plant a soft kiss on my lips. I immediately melted into him, moving to straddle his lap, smiling into each press of his lips against mine. His hands went to my hips, a broken moan escaping him as I felt myself move against a fast-forming bulge underneath me. He breathlessly pulled back, licking his lips. 
“Mm." He said, breathing a little heavier now. "What would you say to a practice round for our pretend session tomorrow- you know, just to get it right?” He murmurs, feeling his cocky grin against my lips. 
“Do you even have to ask?” I retort, smirking. 
My words barely left my mouth before he flipped me onto the couch, leaving me giggling delightfully and sighing with pleasure, as I felt him start a trail of wet, hot kisses down my neck, eliciting soft moans and whimpers that only spurred him on to do more to me. 
I closed my eyes with a dazed grin on my face as he continued his actions, knowing he’d take care of me tonight.  Spencer Reid, without a doubt,  was definitely the best boyfriend I’d ever had. 
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That morning in his apartment, Spencer was all smiles, even more touchy than he was normally if that was possible. He languidly wrapped his arms around my waist as I brushed my teeth, placing little kisses on the back of my neck as I tried not to laugh with toothpaste in my mouth.  
“Someone’s happy today.” I spoke, or at least attempted to speak, whilst he  attacked any exposed skin of mine with his soft lips. 
“Mm.” He grumbled deeply behind me, never once letting up on the task he’d delegated to himself: to somehow kiss every inch of my body before we even left the apartment.
“Maybe I’m excited about what we’ll be doing today.” He replies, clearly very satisfied with what we’d decided the previous night. 
There was a closet in Quantico, just off the hallways. It wasn’t an active hallway bustling with people, but oftentimes agents would come and go through there, and we both decided it provided just enough privacy so that people wouldn’t actually try to come into the closet- but open enough that at least one or two people were bound to hear us, and hopefully ease any concerns anyone had about Spencer and I being a “proper” couple. 
I giggled. “You know Spence.” I move away a little to spit my toothpaste out and rinse my mouth. “You’re a bit more of an exhibitionist than I pegged you for.” I said, a giggle in my voice. 
He wrapped me up in his arms, bringing me as close as he possibly could. “Sure I am.” He mumbled in a sarcastic tone, kissing the top of my head. 
I smile, speaking into his chest, trying to hold back my laughter.  “I don’t hear you denying it.”
“Shhh.” He said, before letting me go with a smile on his face. “We’re not even actually having sex in the closet. It doesn’t count.” He called out, biting his lip with a boyish smile, the type that made me want to jump his bones here and now.
“Whatever you say!” I respond, with a sing-song voice, flashing him a grin before going to get changed for work. 
Throughout the day, I could see Spencer just itching to carry out our plan. He kept making those eyes at me and I’d shake my head, silently communicating that now wasn’t the time. I could see him grumble and lean back in his desk chair, barely able to focus on his work. I giggled at the thought. My genius boyfriend, unable to do simple tasks because the idea of faking sex to get back at our coworkers rendered him stupid. 
As Emily would say, “An IQ of 187 slashed to 60.” 
Finally, after lunch, and less eyes were on either of us, I subtly caught his gaze, tilting my head in the general direction of the closet, and he nearly leapt from his seat. I silently thanked the Gods above that he didn’t draw anyone’s attention, what with how eager he was acting, as we quietly made our way towards the closet. As soon as we were out of the bullpen, and the long, empty hallways of the BAU, he laughed as he unexpectedly stole a long, passionate kiss from me, his lips pressing against mine insistently. I pulled away after a few seconds, thrilled. 
“What was that for?” I ask, with a dazed grin on my face as he continues to walk me to the place of our imminent rendezvous, nearly dragging me there by a firm grip of his hand in mine. 
“I can’t kiss my girlfriend?” Spencer retorts, smugly. 
“Oh, you can kiss her.” I responded eagerly. “I am not complaining whatsoever. Just curious." I said, squeezing his hand lovingly.
He quickly pressed his lips against mine one more, so quickly I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it. "I'm just excited, I think." He responded. There was a puerile smile on his face, as he led me further and further away from any of our colleagues and towards our final destination. 
As he opened the closet door, he shot me one final look.
“You’re actually okay with this, right?” He asks, surprisingly soft, a stark contrast to his previously excited nature. 
“Second thoughts?” I respond, raising an eyebrow.
“No, no.” He said, laughing. “I just want to be certain that you’re good with this.” He implores, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles absentmindedly. He gave a sigh, biting his lip.  “I know you’re doing this for me and I-” 
I immediately silence him through interruption. “Spencer. I want to do this.” I said, softly. “Please.” I add, conveying that while, yes, this was for him in some roundabout way, pretending like I wasn’t absolutely exhilarated at what we were about to do would be a gross misrepresentation of the situation. 
He seemed to relax at that, grinning a little bit. He let out a little breath of air. 
“Come on.” I urged. “Don’t you wanna make sure the team never calls us dull again?” I said, smirking and egging him on the best I could. 
He nearly shoved me into the closet as he opened the door, with a laugh. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
He placed me in front of him, and we stood face to face in the cramped space. I could feel his breath on me, hear the beat of his heart and I knew that there was no part of me that was hesitant about this. On the other hand, Spencer seemed a bit.. confused. His smile faded, before he knit his eyebrows together. I watched him bite his lip, before pressing them together in a straight line. 
“How do you fake sex in a closet?” He paused. “Do we just.. moan?” He said, tentatively, looking to me for direction.
I decided to just go for it, giving an almost pornographic moan. “Oh, yeah! Right there, oh!-” 
He quickly clamped a hand over my mouth. “(Y/N), what the-” 
I removed his hand with a giggle. “Come on." I urged. "Be loud, it’s what’ll work.” I say, grinning, before letting out a higher pitched moan, attempting to recreate what I normally sounded like during sex. “Yes, Spencer! Please! Please!” I moaned, closing my eyes and really getting into what we were attempting to recreate. 
I could feel Spencer watching me, and heard him breathe before moaning out himself. “Yeah, you like that, you whore?” He groaned out, a little flatly, but groaned out convincingly, nonetheless and I could tell he was enjoying himself. 
“Yes! Yes!” I nearly screamed out. “Fuck, you feel so good.” I moaned, in an exaggerated manner. “More, please!” I said, trying to beg just as much as I did when Spencer was actually fucking me. 
We continued this back and forth for a minute or two, and I grinned internally. Anyone who happened to walk past the closet would’ve definitely heard our faked passion, and to be honest, I was into it. Having people know how well Spencer treated me, it made my heart jump, and I could feel myself clenching around nothing at the thought. My eyes were shut, as to immerse myself in the fantasy more, and my moans only got louder, pitchier, more desperate with every passing second. 
It wasn’t a few moments later that I realized that I was the only one making noise, Spencer going quiet, and I noticed the absence of his soft breathing that was there previously. I opened my eyes, to find an incredibly wide-eyed, embarrassed Spencer, looking right at me. 
“Shit, I’m sorry (Y/N).” He said, awkwardly shuffling. “I didn’t think- it’s just- your moans sound so good and-” 
I knit my brows in confusion at his words before my eyes trailed down, revealing the strained fabric of his slacks, his cock tenting inside them at an alarming rate. His eyes met mine as I scanned them back up to look at him, and he stifled a groan. “Fuck.” He murmured. 
“Look, you can just leave.” He said, a little defeated. “It’s fine. I’ll figure it out. I can't go out like this." He said this while already moving away from the door, motioning for me to leave. 
My lips parted as I shook my head. “No.” I whispered, stepping even closer. “Fuck me. Let me help you." I murmur, placing both my hands on his shoulders and rubbing them soothingly, before starting to kiss his neck sweetly, with feather-light touches.  
Spencer rolled his eyes. “(Y/N). Don’t tease me right now. Especially right now.” He whined out, craning his neck as I planted soft kisses on the skin. The rest of his body leaned into me, desperately seeking the relief my touch brought him. 
When I began sucking at a particularly sensitive spot of his, I earned a throaty moan from him, his head thrown back, and his hands grabbing my waist and pressing our bodies flush together. 
"I'm not teasing." I mumble against him. "I want you."
“Fuck. I’m serious. I’m this close to just-” He spoke, his voice low, but I didn’t want him to be logical about this. I wanted this now. I  interrupted his words with a deep, long kiss.
It seemed to work, his lips crashing into mine, over and over again, like this would be the last time we could ever savor the taste of the other again. As grabbed my face, lips moving ferociously over mine, his grip shifted so he could pin me up against the wall. I moaned into his mouth as his hands trailed down, squeezing the fat of my hip unexpectedly, and he used it as an opportunity to slip his tongue in, lazily exploring my mouth with his own. When we finally pulled back for air, I whispered against his lips. 
“Do it. Please.” I croaked, already grabbing the fabric of his shirt. “Please, fuck me Spencer. Use me. I need you right now.” I wanted to sound as desperate as I felt, the heat between my legs growing unbearable at this point, my clit already wildly throbbing with need. 
“We’re in a closet. Someone could catch us." He quietly groaned out, but I could see the restraint leaving his body with every moment he looked at me. He looked wrecked already, hair strown about messily, his lips red and swollen, chest moving up and down. The only sounds in the closet at this point were my pants and his heavy breathing to accompany it. He took another look at me, my eyes blown out and pleading for him, and it seemed like every barrier in his body suddenly broke.
With no warning,  he spun me around so my back would be towards him, pushing me up against the wall as he hurriedly worked away the button of my jeans.  I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter with anticipation, and when he worked my underwear down my legs, I could sense that I was already dripping, even though he'd barely touched me.  
He seemed to be doing the same undressing to himself, working at his slacks with his deft fingers, and I whimpered when I felt his heavy cock slot between me, the head of his tip running through my folds. I could feel how needy I was for him in this moment, and he seemed to enjoy the sight of my legs spreading just for him. He leaned over to let his finger trail over my slit, collecting some of my arousal on my finger. My thighs immediately quivered at the sensation, a loud moan escaping my lips. 
I felt him grab the back of my skull, forcing me to bare my face to hip. 
“Open.” He commanded, and my mouth hung open, almost as if I was under a spill. He roughly shoved his finger into my mouth, and I understood, closing my lips around them, swirling my tongue around his digits, praying that he’d fuck me soon. 
“Good girl.” He said, smoothly, and I nearly fell over from how weak he was rendering me, but a steady grip on my hair kept me upright. When his finger was sufficiently cleaned, he removed it and kissed me once more, smashing his lips aggresively into mine. I kissed him back, but in that moment, there was really only one thing I wanted. 
“Spencer, please.” I panted in between his never ending kisses. “I need you inside me.” I moaned, trying to convey the enormity of my desire for him. He chuckled at my pleads, pulling my hair so I’d be forced to look ahead of me instead. The anticipation absolutely killed me, and I brokenly moaned again, about to beg once more before he suddenly thrust into me, eliciting a yelp from my lips, which I immediately swallowed down as he began to jut his hips against mine. 
“That’s it. Go on, take it.” He whispered, roughly. “You were made for this, weren’t you?” He questioned, cruelly. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” He goaded, going harder and harder with every word he uttered to me in the closet, my desperate attempts to stop my whimpers not being received well by him. 
“What’s wrong, baby?” He sneered, continuing to buck against me. “Didn’t you want the whole team to know what a whore you are for me?” 
I tried to keep my restraint, a low mewl escaping my lips, but that seemed to incentivize him to go even faster, the sounds of our skin slapping against each other filling the room, the smell of sex overtaking every one of my senses. 
“Come on, baby. I wanna hear you.” He then groaned once more, and I could feel how bad he wanted this, how badly he wanted me. The thought made me clench around him, which elicited another moan from his mouth. “I want everyone to hear you.” 
It was like a dam broke through me, and in an instant I was moaning, louder than I had that whole time in the closet, my noises marked by a carnal desire for this, for him. 
“Please, oh god. Spencer- I need to cum, please.” I begged, my mouth hanging open as he fucked me dumb. 
He chuckled at my loss of prudence, rewarding me accordingly. He moved his fingers down to where we were joined, beginning to rub fast, tight circles around my clit. 
“Go on, then.” He murmured. His hips never once wavered, and I could feel his grip on my hips, so tight I was sure there'd be bruises tomorrow. “Come for me.” 
I did, nearly toppling down as waves of my orgasm hit me, convulsing in his arms as I registered the feeling of him continuing to slam against me. I braced myself on the wall, letting him take me the way he wanted, and I could hear his broken moans and whimpers echo throughout the closet.
"Fuck. You're so good." He groaned out, and I let out a low whine at that, which transformed into a sob as he bottomed out in me, making me feel so full. In an instant, I could feel warmth flooding my deepest point, his hips beginning to slow down and still entirely. He pulled out of me, still panting. 
“Holy shit.” He murmured, still panting, watching as the evidence of what we’d just done dripped down my thigh. He helped me out of my bent over position as I smiled at him, dazed. 
“Holy shit, indeed.” My voice came out hoarse, scratched up from how loud I’d been screaming for him. 
“Remind me why we don’t do this again?” He said, grinning and breathless. 
“Something about professionalism?” I offered, still absolutely fucked out as I tried to regain some semblance in my appearance. One look at Spencer and I, and it wouldn’t take long to figure out exactly what we’d been doing. 
“Yeah, somehow after that, I don’t really care about professionalism.” He said, before pulling me into one last, idle kiss. He felt safe, and it felt so good to be with him like this. 
“Good.” I murmured, when our lips finally separated. “Because I don’t think I’d be able to survive if we only did this once.” I said, giggling. 
“Wanna go again?” He offered, raising an eyebrow and running a hand through his hair. 
Let’s just say that the closet became a frequent spot of ours after that. And with how loud I was screaming his name every single time? It’s safe to assume everyone else knew about it too. 
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EDIT: read part 2 (where they get caught!) here!
sorry about the wait this time around! i try to keep my fics within a week of each other, but i've got some life commitments to attend to now. (unfortunate). i hope you guys enjoyed this though!! <3 likes, reblogs, comments, are all greatly appreciated. thank you for all your support<3
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jull-reblogs · 2 days ago
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@aikoiya I'm reblogging on my little sideblog because my art is getting buried under kilometers of text on my main haha ^^
I'm glad I could help! :D Yeah the fruit names aren't very inspired for sure!
Thanks for recommending Psychonauts! I'll keep it in mind for the next time I want to play something new!
Maybe the Door of Time could close on its own… but I forgot to take into account that the Triforce has split anyway so there's no need for it to do so. It stays open during OoT so I guess it could just do the same in the Child Timeline 🤔
Yes the Master Sword is definitely what allows Link to travel through time in OoT, but I'm not sure it plays a role when Zelda uses the Ocarina to send him back. To me this a different kind of time travel. Agreed on the Triforce existing out of time, you expressed my thoughts better than I could ;)
I like Oracle of Mysteries! I don't have too much hope for a third game on top of two remakes but one can dream!!
My problem with "Château Marée-Chant Brasserie du Clos" is only that it needs a coma, and if it was used in a sentence we would say "Château Marée-Chant, la Brasserie du Clos". Same thing with the other names you proposed ^^
Brasserie and château also have different vibes (at least to me), so La Perle de Lune or La Perle de Conque might work better as names for a brasserie. Then Château Marée-Chant could be the name of the wine the Zora make, since Château Something is a common appellation for French wines (and of course there's Château Romani in MM). "Domaine" is another one, wich in this context makes Zora's Domain/Domaine Zora quite funny!
I love the nautilus shell glasses and wine baskets! This place would have a really nice atmosphere.
I guess I could rewrite the princess sightings quests to make them more serious, but I'm not sure they would fit with what I'm trying to do. I don't know, I need to think about it! As for Yiga Zelda, something like that has more impact on Link/the player if they're still looking for the real Zelda. Of course it's infuriating for Link anyway but he/the player would know for sure it's not her after playing through the main quest. So if I use that idea I'll make sure that this encounter happens before Link gets the first memory.
Yes something as simple as the villagers being uneasy/worried but still maintaining the election would make it better in my opinion. And a curfew is a great idea! The thing with Cece is that since I'll have Castle Town partially rebuilt I've been wondering if it wouldn't make more sense for her shop to be located in the capital, but maybe she'll just have a second shop there and still live in Hateno. I still need to decide before I can make up my mind about the election. Though I will say that I liked this quest's message about tradition and modernity (even if the way it was handled was a bit childish) and it's a question that makes sense in the context of Hyrule being rebuilt, so it's one of the quests I really should keep.
I want to design a Cece outfit for Link, I might keep the hat but not the hair and makeup. Or maybe I could have another character wearing it, but not Link he just looks terrible 😆
Stallynels, elemental Lynels and Staltantula are great ideas! I'm looking for new monster ideas because I'm tired of always fighting the same bokoblins, lizalfos, moblins, constructs + the same bosses all the time, so this could get on my list ^^
I don't know, I think Hyrule already had a false sense of peace in BotW, this time I wanted to see stuff happening "in real time" and to really feel that the kingdom is being threatened. I also want to make use of the provinces that felt underexploited in BotW (Hebra, Necluda, Faron and Akkala) and have more of the main quest happen there, instead of reusing the exact same four locations for the dungeons.
Exactly, "strong women" characters have become so cliché!! Though the real problem to me is that they are extremely unrelatable/unlikable, and very boring (on top of being completely unrealistic). I agree about Gerudo vai being roughly as strong as Hylian males, with their height being an advantage.
Yes the ancient Gerudo have a much less feminine appearance, but we only saw a few warriors so we don’t know if that’s what all of them looked like. I'm also really not convinced by these designs but you're probably tired of my complaints by now haha. I'll just say that they have the exact same weapons as modern Gerudo and it drives me crazy 🙄. And yes I can see just how dark things could get with the Gerudo and what they could do to males of other races… That's not how I want to portray them, but it's definitely a possibility.
Hmm, this is a whole other debate but the thing with WW Rito is that I never liked the idea that they were evolved Zora. I know Hyrule Historia confirmed it but it will never make sense in my head that fish people had to become birds after a flood (??). I prefer to think they're just another race, or if I had to choose a race they could have evolved from I would choose the Sheikah (white hair, red eyes, live near a volcano that houses a dragon, Hylia's crest = bird).
Yes I'm sending Zelda far into the past but keep in mind that this is the distant past of Skyward Sword after Link killed Demise, and it's complicated enough to make things work between SS and BotW without throwing WW on top of that haha. Also in my timeline BotW might actually be closer to SS than WW is in the Adult Timeline (because the Hylians only live on Skyloft for a short time here and come back after Demise is gone, so the kingdom of Hyrule gets founded a lot earlier).
My Zelda won't have enough time to create something like what you're describing, but otherwise I like the idea of her building a dungeon! That would be an interesting concept to play with.
Nope no Secret Stones or Zonai in my rewrite, and Zelda doesn't have the Sheikah Slate ^^ I'm not even sure rewrite is an approriate way to call it at this point. It's more of an alternate sequel to BotW because it doesn't have much in common with TotK anymore, and I'm using this story to build my new timeline that links BotW to Skyward Sword.
Sure Gerudo culture is flawed, but what I mean is that I don't want to associate them with evil stuff all the time and that's what a curse tends to make me think of (and Ganon himself can already be considered a curse). So if I can find another explanation for the way they are I prefer to do things differently, but I understand your reasoning and it is interesting. I also don't think anyone in my lore would be able to cast such a curse on an entire race (except for the Golden Goddesses themselves but I don't think they would).
Haha don't worry, this comment really was just a joke. That's not something I want in my lore at all, but otherwise what you're saying makes sense ^^
I don't think the Sands Goddess created the Gerudo (the same way I don't think Hylia created the Hylians) so she wouldn't be responsible for them being an all-female race. That's on the Golden Goddesses. Now I'm starting to think that maybe the Gerudo weren't ever supposed to give birth to voe at all. Maybe that only started after the death of their Goddess, so they believed the first boy was a last gift from her and made him king. Or maybe Koume and Kotake had something to do with it! I could see them do deranged stuff in order to have a son, and then claim that he was sent by the Goddess and destined to become king.
I've actually spent a lot of time thinking about Ganondorf and his motivations for my rewrite since I found his character really lacking in TotK. I'm trying to come up with something a bit more nuanced, and I think I explained a few things about him in one of my earlier answers. I’m going with something similar to your interpretation (except he doesn't get to kill Link of course 😁) with the Calamity being his hatred that took physical form and kind of acted on its own. So my Gan definitely isn’t genocidal, and he’s far from happy with the situation. He’s not exactly remorseful since he places the blame on the ancient Sages who sealed him (they did it for good reasons, he’s not a victim), but he never wanted to destroy Hyrule in the past and still doesn't in the present.
@aikoiya The post was getting long again so here's a new one!
I knew you were going to answer that saying "this is unfair" isn't real life logic haha (and I agree that life hasn't been fair to Sky and Sun anyway). It's just that such an ending would probably leave me feeling unsatisfied and even a bit robbed, and I think it would require a lot of other changes to be made to the story in order for it to work properly. But anyway you're right, as things are now this would just be happening behind the scenes so what I'm saying doesn't really make sense. But just thinking about it changes my perception of SS in a way I don't really enjoy, so it's not a theory I favor.
Yes in that setting I'm pretty sure that the other Sun would not make herself known to Link and Zelda and would let them have their happy ending. But I think Zelda would likely suspect her existence and know that something is wrong. I guess even Link could notice that the Temple's doors are suddenly open and would ask Impa a few questions.
I had no idea Tingle called Farore the Goddess of Wind in WW, so I went on a little quest to see if I could find the same quote in the French version of the game. Apparently it's in Tingle's description of Outset Island and I never had the chance to play with the Tingle Tuner mode. I can't find the same quote in French anywhere and I don't even know if this was included in the HD remake (I guess I'll have to wait for a Switch version to find out… if they ever release one). This has me wondering if this quote isn't something exclusive to the English version, but I can't be sure and I'd like to know what the original Japanese text says. The French wikis mention that Farore is the Goddess of Wind in WW but don't provide any quote, it just looks like the pages were translated from English but that they couldn't find the same quote in French. It's really frustrating!!
Anyway that's a bit weird because WW already establishes Zephos as the God of Wind, and he seems to be a minor deity compared to Farore. The way I see it, wind is just the element that Farore tends to be associated with, and since a lot of myths might have been lost with Hyrule in WW this could just be a mistake on Tingle's part. I mean this is the game that gave us the Golden Triumph Forks haha.
I'm not limiting Nayru/the Golden Goddesses to a singular domain, quite the opposite ^^ To me Nayru being the Goddess of Wisdom includes different concepts such as order, law, science, magic, etc., and even time (since she's introduced as the creator of the world's fondamental laws), while calling her the Goddess of Time doesn't include all of that. That's why I wrote that I found it a bit restrictive. But sure she could have both titles, the same way Farore could be known most commonly as the Goddess of Courage and also called the Goddess of Wind in some situations.
Oh I didn't think of the blocks from OoT! I would say though that they don't really use any time powers, they're just random blocks that appear or disappear for some reason when Link plays the Song of Time (it's just as absurd as playing the Song of Storms to open holes in the ground haha). But yes they were blue and associated with time, and of course Nayru is too. The difference with Hylia in my theory is that Nayru created the rules of time (if that makes sense) among other fundamental laws, while Hylia's power specifically allows her to manipulate time and foresee the future. In a way I see Hylia as Nayru's spiritual daughter who inherited some of her powers over time (and that's why the color purple she's represented with is very close to blue).
The Master Sword has also been depicted as either blue or purple though, so that asks the question of the true color of all of these things! Nayru is definitely linked to time so it makes sense that the timeshift stones are in Lanayru (and Hylia also doesn't have a province named after her).
"From the edge of time" could definitely just be a poetic way to say that Hylia kind of recorded a message for Link before dying haha. But I find it interesting that she would phrase it like that, I like to see it as a clue.
Well if Zelda simply sent Link to a point further back in time, wouldn't there be two Links existing at the same time in the Child Timeline? But sure Zelda creating a brand new timeline also raises a few questions that kind of... make my head hurt. I'm not sure what happens exactly, I've always wondered! All we know is that Link finds himself in the Master Sword's chamber with the Door of Time already open, which hints at things happening in a different way this time (because he definitely doesn't have the three spiritual stones and the Ocarina of Time yet since this is before Ganon's coup, and the ending seems to imply that this timeline's Zelda doesn't know him yet). That's why I believe Zelda might have done something a bit more complex than sending him to a point further back in time, but there's no way to be sure. The Triforce of Courage is also visible on Link's hand during the ending, and we also know thanks to TP that the Triforce is still separated in the Child Timeline despite Link and Zelda preventing Ganon from entering the Sacred Realm this time. So maybe Zelda isn't able to change everything? It's complicated haha.
Anyway, whether OoT Zelda creates a new timeline or just sends Link further back in time, that's still huge time powers and that's not something Link is able to do by playing Zelda's Lullaby.
I also believe it is more likely that Talon inherited the ranch. True, Talon might not always have been so lazy, but maybe if that was the case the game could have hinted at hit. All we know is that he leaves his daughter alone with Ingo and only comes back after Link deals with the situation, which does not make him look so great. And he only promises to work harder after that.
I'm kind of bad with names so I'm impressed you're going through all of that trouble to rename the settlements!!
I haven't gotten to developping the technology that much yet, but I'm really interested in seeing what the different races could do with it! I love the idea of using the Sheikah to infiltrate the Yiga bases. I wish TotK had done something like that and shown the Sheikah helping Link that way.
Same, I was so excited when I heard about these pirates… and then so disappointed to find nothing more than a bunch of bokos with no backstory.
Vignoble is not related to noble (though I kind of make the association in my mind, especially since vignobles are sometimes called châteaux).
Yes I thought you could maybe use clos! Aquaticlos is funny, it can work! Though maybe you could use the same logic as for the raisins (I love this Raisins de Terre idea by the way, it makes sense!) and say that what the Zoras call a clos already refers to something that's underwater, since that's probably the case for most of what they cultivate.
I don't mind helping you with French, I'm glad to do so! You put so much effort and thought into this, it's really interesting.
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saeun · 3 months ago
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ꪆ୧ ── HUSH-HUSH ┊ KEEP IT A SECRET ﹑ JJK ⤿ starring: g. satoru ◟ choso ◟ sukuna ◟ f. toji.
꒰ love simulation ﹢ headcanon-type · most to least likely to keep your relationship a secret!
𖧷 · love, ‘su: i have nothing to say here but I Need To have this here for layout purposes. it Bothers me if its not there.
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most likely 𓂃 can hold themselves back. choso and somewhat toji.
( pda = public display affection. )
listen, CHOSO can keep a secret, but leave it up to him and he would've made it known you two were dating. he's only keeping it a secret because you said to. when it comes to you, everyone knows he never questions your words.
in terms of pda . . . he doesn't do it — actually, he does, but only you know the true meaning to his touch. it's a regular thing to have an arm wrapped around your friend's shoulder, standing close to them, blah blah blah. you get the point: he keeps it entirely friendly.
this doesn't mean he's not clinging onto you the moment your peers aren't around! once they're out of his view, choso will not waste time to satisfy the itch he's been feeling. either he buries his head in your shoulder, whining about not being able to touch you at least, or his hands are intertwined with yours.
in mr. TOJI FUSHIGURO's case, your words are law. he usually sits back and let you do as you please — obviously he'd go along with whatever scheme you planned. he doesn't mind keeping to himself at all; he's not one for much pda anyway.
there are times where he gets touchy, though. he tries to keep it at a minimum, but don't let him be near you during a dinner-out with friends or anything of the sort. if he's seated next to you, trust, his hand will find comfort sitting on your thigh, occasionally squeezing here and there.
sometimes — really rare times — his friends suspect him. they don't reach the “are you dating y/n?” conclusion, but do they reach the “you got a thing for y/n or what?” one. it's all due to the fact that he softens his language with you. he doesn't curse, tone lowers an octave, and has a slight smile. three things his friends will never experience. he doesn't deny it, but he also doesn't confirm; he simply shrugs at their questions and never satisfies their curiosity.
least likely 𓂃 sorry, he's a bit selfish. satoru and sukuna.
SATORU . . . yeah, no. there's no way he would've succeeded. that's like asking him to not breathe for a day. when you brought up the idea of keeping the relationship a secret, he tried talking you out of it. why are you denying publicizing his affection for you? you must hate him, or are you hiding the fact that you're taken? satoru's dramatic, and his favourite literary device is hyperbole. he will exaggerate.
at first he tries his best to keep it a secret, but old habits die hard. calling you names clearly reserved for someone's romantic partner, arm snaked around your waist all the time, glaring at anyone who tries to flirt, giving you quick kisses — yeah, no way.
but, satoru does apologize for failing to obey! if you're mad at him for outing the relationship, he'll spend days upon days begging for forgiveness in creative ways til you accept his apology.
SUKUNA does not give a fuck. he's lived long enough to not care about secrecy. it's cute that you want to keep it on the low, but he prefers letting it known. pair that with him disliking physical contact with anyone else and you've got yourself the perfect recipe for disaster.
whenever he's not with you and someone approaches him — no matter the reason — he's quick to ring up his favourite sentence: yeah no, i'm taken. either that, or he's holding his palm up to reject them. he does not wish to engage with strangers. even his own friends struggle to get him out.
when he's with you, however, he's clinging to you like a magnet. game night with friends/family? he's pulling you to lean on him, doesn't fetch drinks for anyone but you, gets revenge for you if you lost the game, demands that they “go easy on y/n.” the list goes on. it took everyone zero time to put the clues together and figure out sukuna and you are a thing. it's entirely out-of-character for him to be nice in the first place.
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callieisto · 4 months ago
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☆ Kinktober Day 3: Threesome! ☆
(fem!reader)
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It was very hard to sway your boys away from something they wanted. Or a promise they made.
Unfortunately, this happened to be both of those things.
While they had been away on a mission, you'd made the mistake of expressing that you felt ugly over a call, and the two of them had immediately threatened to come home and fuck some sense into you. (Not an empty threat by any means- you still owed Kory and Bizzaro an apology for Jason running off in the middle of a mission the last time this had happened. And you should probably send Dick a card and some fruit- he's still in the hospital because Roy bailed on him.)
You'd managed to convince them to stay for the rest of the expedition, but you didn't manage to get off scott-free. Which is how you ended up sandwiched between your boyfriends, who were maliciously reminding you of how much they loved you- and your body. Especially your pussy.
"R-Roy," you whimper, a keening sound. Jason snorts and spreads your legs more, so Roy can continue licking at you slowly, languidly. "Roy- R-Roy, 'm sensitive!"
Jason's got you pressed up against his back, thick thighs bracketing yours. He's still in his boxers- somehow- but you're completely naked, squirming as Roy eats you out. Over and over and over again. "Aww, honey girl." Roy cooed breathlessly, pulling back to lick his lips and watch your muscles twitch under Jason's hands. "You can take it, huh? I know you can."
Jason kisses your cheek as his hands move to settle over your stomach, pulling you closer to his chest. "Mmm, he's being mean, isn't he, angel?" He teased, a rumbling laugh escaping him. "Does our baby want something inside her, huh?"
You whine in embarrassment, eyes squeezing closed as Roy leans in, kissing between your boobs, biting down softly and leaving little marks as he moved up to your neck. "Please," you manage to warble out. "Please fuck me."
That's all it takes, really. Jason and Roy may be physically strong, but when it comes to you, they're the weakest men in the world. Roy greedily takes you from Jason, who shuffles up the bed to take his boxers off and toss them somewhere near where the vague shape of other clothes are. He'll complain about how he can't find them later, but right now he has a one-track mind.
Roy spins you around and presses his cock against your ass, peppering your shoulders with sweet kisses even as he bends you at the waist so you're eye-level with Jason's dick. "So perfect." Roy breathes, hand smoothing up and down your spine. "God, baby, you're so perfect. I would die if you were any more beautiful."
Jason nods in agreement, biting his lip as you slowly drag your tongue up from his balls to his tip. He groans softly, hand carding through your hair. "Such a perfect angel," he breathes, guiding you down to take his tip into his mouth. You suck on it, looking up at him with soft eyes, and it takes everything in him not to cum immediately. "Our good girl, huh?"
You nod, a muffled "Yes" escaping around his dick.
Roy groans as he sinks into you, biting his lip as he watches you swallow Jason's cock into your mouth. He likes the way you whimper when he pushes in, likes the way you sound with dick in your mouth and another one stuffing your cunt. "God," He chokes out, voice hoarse. "Fuck, could never get enough of this pretty fucking pussy."
And he starts to move.
The world melts away. It's only you, Jason, Roy, and the softness of the bed beneath you.
Jason is panting and whining and bucking into your mouth, his pretty face flushed red, all high on his cheekbones. He cums in your mouth with a low growl when you swallow him to the base, then gag softly. He pulls you off when he's soft, the most love-dumb look in his eyes as you blink blearily.
"So pretty." Jason whispers weakly, his free hand thumbing away some cum at the corner of your mouth. You're too far gone to string together any semblance of words, let alone sentences. He brushes your hair from your sweaty forehead.
And then Roy takes the back of your head and presses it into the mattress, fucking you harder, his other hand coming around your hip to rub circles into your clit. You writhe and moan beneath him, face squished into the comforter beneath you. Somewhere above you, Jason and Roy are spouting praise, hands are smoothing up and down your spine, little kisses are dancing across your skin. You cum with a trembling whine and Roy groans, "Fuck, that's it," as you spasm around him.
He thrusts once, twice, and then he pulls out, his cum splattering over your ass as he jerks himself to completion.
Jason tugs you up to rest against his chest, your cheek pressed against his collarbone as he soothingly kisses your face. "Did so good, pretty girl." He whispered.
Roy snuggled up to the two of you, resting his head on Jason's thigh and his hand on your hip. "So good," he agreed weakly.
Later, the three of you would get in the shower and wash off- Jason would eat you out one more time, just for good measure- and then the bed would creak under the weight of three bodies. Asleep. Cuddled together.
But right now? A nap sounds like a really good idea, as Jason demonstrates by promptly falling asleep with his head resting atop yours.
☆ taglist!
@adhd-introvert
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homestylehughes · 5 months ago
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bed chem.
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pairing(s): quinn hughes x fem!reader
warning(s): fluff. mutual pinning. very slight slow burn. suggestive content. 18+.
wc: 1.5K
an: hi lovesss!!!! I present you with a new fic, finally. this song is loosely based off of "bed chem" by sabrina carpenter, and the one and only quinn hughes. this is one of my favorites, I'm really happy with how it turned out! I hope you all enjoy, like and reblog if you did :)
as always, much much love <3
He caught your attention in a room full of people, your eyes stuck to him like glue. Your eyes followed his every movement, watching him wordlessly from across the busy club. Watching how he interacted with the people around him, how his lips broke into a smile as he laughed at something someone said to him. 
He, whoever he was, was beautiful. From his hair, eyes, smile, everything. Not to mention how his white fitted shirt looked on him. The fit was so perfect, it almost looked like it was painted on him. You felt like a creep looking at him, but you couldn't help it. There was just something about him that was almost addictive? Something bad, but yet so so good. 
“Are you done staring at him like a creep, or are you gonna go over and say something?” your friend says besides you, snapping you out of daydream
“I wasn't looking..just observing” you say, clearing your throat, before taking a drink of the watered down cocktail in front of you in hopes to avert your gaze from the Greek god of a man in front of you. 
“Well..he and his friends just looked over here and pointed.” she giggles from besides you
“Shit. Are you joking? Youve got to be joking right?” you whisper-yell to her in a state of panic 
“Nope,” she says, popping the p.
“Oh god, yn they're coming over here now.” she says frantically 
“Oh my god” you say, moving to sit up straighter in your seat. Your eyes move to follow the very attractive man and his friends make their way over to you guys. 
“Shit he is hot, and so are his friends.” your friend gushes out besides you 
“Shut it, act normal, talk to me about something.” you say quickly, your eyes flickering to the men who are moving in closer. 
Your friend starts talking to you about something random, but you can't concentrate on her words. Your mind is locked in the man approaching, that you can't gather another thought about anything else, as you watch them in the corner of your eye. Just as they are about to reach the table, another large group of men cuts in front of them. Wrapping each of the men into hugs, yelling and smiling as they interact, with what you assume are their friends. 
“Youve got to be kidding me” she says, stopping mid sentence of her empty word ramble. 
“ well..thats, that i guess” you sign out, looking as the men pull each other to the bar in the opposite direction. 
“Guy in the white shirt is looking at you, look up look up.” she says slapping your arm 
Quickly reacting, pulling your head up. Your eyes find him quickly, as he looks back at you. Sending you a quick wink and smirk before he turns around following his friends. 
“Oh my gosh. Yn he so wants you” 
“I don't even know if i'll see him again”
“Never say never.” 
You giggle at her opsitism, before throwing the rest of your drink back, hopping out of your seat, moving to grabher hands pulling her towards the dance floor. 
“Come on! We came to have fun, right?” you shout at her, as you two giggle walking hand in hand to the dance floor. 
– 
After lots of fun, maybe too much fun and a few more drinks later. You finally make your way back to your hotel. You come back solo you might add, your friend being pulled away by a hot mysterious man who caught her attention. Leading her to follow him out of the club with a wide smile on her face. 
Sighing deeply as you stare at your shoes waiting for the elevator door to open, a few moments later a loud ding signals in the opening. Heading in quickly, and hitting your floor. Leaning your exposed back against the cool elevator door, the only thing on your mind is taking off your shoes, and washing a somewhat disappointing night out away. 
Just as the elevator is about to close, you hear a man shouting to hold the door. Pushing yourself off the wall to hit the open button. The out of breath man quickly moves in, as you look up to ask him what floor he needs, you're face to face with, hot fitted white shirt man, who's staring at you with widened eyes. 
“What floor do you need?” you ask quietly, struggling to find your words.
“Um, 69 please, oh wait you've already pressed that.” The man finally speaks to you, his deep voice filling the now closed elevator. 
“You're the girl from the club tonight.” he says looking over at you from across the elevator. 
“And you're the guy” you say
“Felt you looking at me, the whole night” he says, his words causing a blush to rise to your cheeks as you look back down at your shoes. 
“Don't be embarrassed, i was looking too.” he continues 
“I saw” you spoke 
“Almost had you too” he says 
“Almost..” you repeat to him softly, your gaze flickering between his lips and eyes. 
“Well we’re here now” he replies 
“You have 9 floors to make something happen..” you trail off 
“Quinn. My names quinn” he says 
“Yn. my names yn” 
“Well yn i only need 2 floors to make this happen” quinn says, quickly making his way over to you. One of his hands meeting your hip as the other holding your face, pulling you into him, your lips connecting as one.
The motion happens so quickly you barely have time to register what your body is doing until you're kissing him back quickly. Your hands tangle themselves into his hair as you pull yourself into his body.
You two are so wrapped up into each other that you don't even realize the elevator has stopped, the door opening slowly. 
Quinn pulls back, his lips swollen as he looks down at you. “How was that for something yn?” he says, dropping his gaze down to you. 
“I think i might need you to show me a bit more” you whisper
“Oh really?” he says as he slowly pulls you out of the elevator. 
“Mhm” you mumble to him
“Lead the way” he says, dropping his hand from you, waiting on your next move. 
You take a second to take him in natural light. Everything about him is intoxicating, you need more. No matter the cost, or how bad of an idea it could be. You don't care, not right now. Before you can give it a second thought, you're pulling him by his hand by your room. Your steps are quick, your body hot with need. 
Reaching your room quickly, dropping Quinn's hand, as you start searching for your key card, you feel Quinn's hot body against yours. His lips finding your neck and his hands back on your hips as he pulls you back against him. Your movements began to halter as he began to get lost in his touch. 
“Quinn..you have to get off me for 30 seconds so i can open the door” 
“Mhm. I know, but I'm getting impatient. I've wanted you all night.” he says against your neck, his warm breath sending chills down your body. 
“You wanna know what i've thought about and what i'm thinking about right now? Hm?” he asks 
“Yes, yes tell me” you gasp out, your hands trying to move quickly, still in search of the key. 
“How the dress would look on the floor, how your body would look against mine. How youd look all fucked out for me in my bed” he says, his lips tight to your ear. 
Just as he finishes his sentence, your hands grasp the key card in your purse. Pulling it out quickly, and tapping it against the door aggressively, pushing the door open as soon as it buzzes open. 
Quinn moves quickly, pushing you in slamming the door, and before you know it his lips are against yours as if they never left. You're quick to turn him around, your hands moving against the buttons on his shirt as he hits the bed, pulling you on top of him; your lips never once leaving each other. 
“You're dangerous” quinn says pulling away from your lips 
“Why's that?” you ask, your hands still working to unbutton his shirt. 
“I've barely had any of you, and i dont think ill ever get enough” he says looking at you
“Who said you ever have to stop, we’re just getting started” you say while unbuttoning the last button on his shirt before pushing it off his shoulders. 
Quinn responds with a look and a small smirk and you know what that means.
558 notes · View notes
imagine-a-life-like-this · 7 months ago
Text
Ways To Say : I Love You
Word Count : 6.6k
Warnings : swearing, brief sexual content (like maybe 2 sentences), food, workout, brief mention of blood (nose bleed), maybe slight angst but not really, tried my best to make it gender neutral but mentions of makeup and manicures/pedicures
Synopsis : Best friend Ateez realizing they're falling in love with you and the different ways they show it.
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Seonghwa
Wants to build Lego with you
            He used to enjoy building Lego alone, on live with Atiny, and the odd time with San. But as he realizes he’s falling for you, he wants to share one of his favourite activities with you. He wants to share everything with you.
            Seonghwa would take time to set everything up perfectly before you came over. Drinks and snacks set up along with the Lego sets he bought specifically for this occasion. One for him and one for you. Though he would never admit to it, he bought this specific Lego set for you because it reminded him of you the second he saw it.
            He even sat down each of the members and told them to leave the two of you alone, though that didn’t happen. They each took turns interrupting your time together for one reason or another. You never noticed the scowl on Seonghwa’s face whenever they came in because every time you looked at him, he was smiling. It was hard for him to stay mad when you were around.
Spa days
            The idea came to him when you were complaining about your skin, wishing it looked as smooth as his. He called you over on one of his days off and ushered you into the bathroom. You were confused but it was Seonghwa, so you allowed him to do whatever it was.
            He had bought you all the same products he uses and went through his routine with you. If he was paying attention, he would have seen the pure adoration pouring out of your eyes as you looked at him. It was a passing complaint you made that you didn’t realize he took note of, and it melted your heart realizing how much attention he pays you.
            Spa days became a regular thing between the two of you. And Seonghwa would continue to get more and more elaborate with them. Buying new face masks to try, getting manicure sets so you could do each other’s nails, and even getting the fluffy white robes to complete it all.
            Now he has an entire photo album on his phone dedicated to pictures of the two of you with different face masks on. He scrolls through them when he misses you.
Shopping together
            Shopping with you has honestly become one of his all time favourite things to do. He loves spoiling you, even though you always fight him on it, telling him you can pay for your own clothes. He’d never tell you, but he loves seeing you in the outfits that he not only picked out but also paid for. It’s like the possessive side of him comes out seeing you dressed head to toe in something he bought for you.
            He also loves watching you put together outfits for him. You try to match his fashion sense, but even if you didn’t, he would wear every single outfit, because you picked it out. He walks out of the change rooms with a wide smile in every outfit, and always ends up buying every single one, even the ones you made just for fun.
            Today you notice Seonghwa seems a little off as he flicks through the different articles of clothing, but you chalk it up to exhaustion. And then he turns to you, holding up two outfits that are very similar, and you cock your head to the side asking who they’re for. His voice his soft when he answers, “Couple outfits. For us.” He was smiling nervously as he waited for your answer. But there really was only one answer to give, because how could you not fall in love with Park Seonghwa?
Bonus
            “I can’t believe that fucking worked!” Jongho exclaimed when he saw the two of you enter the dorms in the matching outfits. You and Seonghwa just shrugged and smiled at each other before heading into his room. He had everything set up for your usual spa day, except this time you asked him to put the face mask on for you.
            He sat you on the bathroom counter and stood in between your legs as he carefully put the mask on your face. He stole a quick kiss and then asked you to put his mask on him.
Hongjoong
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Lets you choose his nail polish colour
            Everyone else knew about his feelings for you before he did. They would watch as he looked at you with a certain fondness in his eyes he didn’t have for anyone else. He even left the studio more often so he could spend more time with you. But none of it made it click for him until you were looking through his nail polishes and asked if you could choose the next colour.
            He agreed immediately, absolutely zero hesitation. Oh. OH. Oh fuck. But when he looked over at you, seeing you holding up a bottle of nail polish with a wide smile, everything felt okay. It felt better than okay. And he suddenly had a new favourite colour. Though his favourite colour seemed to change every week, matching whichever colour you picked out for him.
            He would think of you every time he looked down at his painted nail. When he missed you, or was nervous, he would look down at his nail, and picture you with that same wide smile, and everything would feel okay again.
Sneaks candid pictures of you
            Hongjoong loves taking pictures wherever he goes. He loves preserving the memories. Loves looking back through them and remembering the places he’s been, the people he’s met. But the more he falls for you, the more pictures he takes of you.
            When you’re sleeping, eating, laughing, existing. If the two of you are out and about, he snaps a couple pictures of the scenery, but most of the pictures he takes are of you. Enjoying the view, or just standing there. No matter what, you look perfect to him, and he can’t help but take a million pictures trying to capture your beauty.
            He has an entire album on his phone dedicated to pictures of just you. The members teased him about it when they found out about it, telling him he was down horrendous. He absolutely was, and he really didn’t mind.
            His camera has even more pictures of you. Enough for multiple exhibits of just you. Wooyoung told him he should rent out a building and put on an exhibit just for you as his confession. And he hates that he entertained that thought for a couple days. Going as far as calling a couple different places to see how much it would cost to rent it out for a day. But then the possibility that you might find it weird or creepy crossed his mind, and he canceled everything.
Shows you every new song first
            Hongjoong calling you in the middle of the night to show you a new song became your new normal. The first couple times you were angry. But then you realized how special it was to be the first to hear every new song. And he started having your favourite coffee ready for you when you arrived, and you started loving these moments.
            He seemed nervous when he called this time. More nervous than normal. But you weren’t sure if you were making it up in your sleepy state or not. Hongjoong was usually nervous when showing you a new song, wanting your honest opinion, even if it meant you hated it. You never did. He really is a musical genius.
            You sit in your usual spot, a cup of coffee immediately being slid into your hands. “I want you to pay extra attention to the lyrics of this one.” He could barely meet your eyes, but you ignored it, nodding and preparing yourself for the song.
            You quickly realized that he was confessing his love in this song, and felt your heart sink a little. Part of you hoped your feelings weren’t one sided, but it seems like that’s the case. But you tried to keep the smile on your face so he wouldn’t think you hated the song, or worse, catch onto your feelings. But he saw the split second of sadness on your face and realized that you weren’t catching on.
            So he slides the lyric paper in front of you. And the first thing you notice is the title. Your name.
Bonus
            “I still think you should have done the private photography exhibit of all of the pictures you’ve taken of them.” Wooyoung said when Hongjoong announced your new relationship. You looked over at your boyfriend, seeing his face turn red.
            “Meet me in my room later.” He told Wooyoung through gritted teeth. “Ignore him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” You shake your head.
            “No, no. I want to see these pictures. Please?” He could feel himself caving the second he saw the pout on your face.
            “Make sure you ask to see the ones on his phone too.” San added with a wink before running away so Hongjoong couldn’t catch him.
Yunho
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Brings you coffee/food when you’re studying/working late
            Yunho knew when he met you that you were going to be more than a friend to him. It was so easy to talk to you and spending time with you made him happy. He knew he was going to crush on you. But he didn’t know he was going to fall this hard.
            Standing in the long line to get your favourite food, he checks his phone again. It’s nearing 10:30. You said you would be done at 11. He’s next, so he knows he’ll make it time to meet you outside with the food.
            He’s not sure when this little tradition started. Whenever you’d be out late, he would go pick up whatever it was you were craving and bring it right to you for whenever you finished. He remembers the first time he did it, surprising you with dinner after you got out. You were so happy you almost cried. He remembers you hugging him as tight as you could, and he didn’t want you to let go.
            That’s when he knew this was more than just a crush. Because in that moment, he knew he would do absolutely anything to see you that happy again. He would even steal the moon for you.
Playing video games together
            It started with you asking him to teach you how to play his favourite games. You would sit on his lap and he would guide your hands until you learned all the controls. No one has to know that you purposely took longer to learn the controls so he’d hold your hands longer.
            One day he surprised you with your own set up so you two could play together. Though you preferred when he was teaching you, you still loved this time together. The two of you could play for hours without realizing it, getting lost in each other more than the game, but no one had to know.
            Even finds himself only playing when you were available, because it’s only fun with you now. Though he’ll play with the members if they ask, it’s still more fun with you, but he’d never tell them that, (they know).
            When he’s on tour and unable to play, you’ll still call him when you play. He smiles the whole time as he listens to you play his favourite game, and he wonders why he didn’t teach you sooner.
Slow dancing together
            You’re not sure when it began. The sudden slow dancing around the dorms when it was just the two of you. One day, Yunho just put on a song, held out his hand, and asked you to dance. And how does one say no to slow dancing with Jeong Yunho?
            The first couple times were clumsy. Missing steps, tripping over each other, skipping beats. But neither one of you cared, because it was just the two of you, and you were having fun. You didn’t even notice that Yunho was playing the same song on repeat.
            Soon it became a thing. As soon as it was just the two of you, Yunho would put on the same song, hold his hand out, and ask you to dance. You never said no. You loved the intimacy of it. Of being in his arms, of being close to him.
            After a while, you both got the hang of it. Sweeping around the house together with ease, as if it was second nature. As if this is what you two were born to do; dance together just like this.
            Today he smiles down at you, his eyes filled with love as he looked at you. And the words spill from his lips before he can stop them. “You know, this is good practice for our wedding.” And for the first time in months, you trip over his feet.
Bonus
            “This is why you ask us to leave whenever Y/n comes over?” Mingi asks as he walks in on you two slow dancing. “Just confess already.” You both giggle.
            “I did that last week, princess.” Yunho tells Mingi, pulling you into his chest and pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
            “Don’t tell me you said something cringey like this was practice for your wedding.” Mingi could tell by the look on Yunho’s face that that’s exactly what he did. “Oh come on! How many months of planning and that was the best you came up with?”
            “Hey! Between the two of you, only one of you is in a relationship.” You spoke up in defense of your boyfriend. Yunho chuckled when Mingi’s jaw dropped.
            “That’s my baby.”
Yeosang
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Shares all his food with you
            Now Yeosang didn’t mind sharing most of his food with his friends, but when it came to certain things, he would rather bite their finger than share even a bite. But when it came to you, he wouldn’t hesitate sharing everything, even his chicken.
            It came as a surprise, even to him, when you asked for a bite of his chicken and he handed it to you with no hesitation. He was smiling to himself as he watched you take a bite, your eyes widening slightly as you nod your head. “Yours is so much better.” You had exclaimed. And he wasted no time in switching your plates so you could enjoy your dinner.
            He finally understood all those people who said they could feel full just watching someone they love eat. And he knows he wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. Especially if it meant you would smile at him like you are now. Your arm linked with his was just a nice bonus.
Spontaneous trips
            The second he knew he had the week off, he was at your place with two plane tickets to the place you’ve been wanting to go to for a while. He remembers you showing him pictures of the places you wanted to see there, the different foods you wanted to try. And he knew he wanted to be the one to take you.
            He loved that you didn’t ask questions. Just quickly packed a bag with lots of excitement, and then the two of you were off on a week long vacation. It was one of the best decisions he ever made, if he was honest. A close second to leaving for KQ.
            Despite all the other tourists and the locals, it felt as if it was just the two of you. All his focus was on you, and most of the pictures he took were also of you. Except for the few he took to post for Atiny. And when he leaves for tour in a couple weeks, he knows he’ll be scrolling through these pictures, waiting for the next time he could take you on a trip.
            It didn’t take long before it became a tradition for the two of you. Whenever he had an extended break, he would buy two plane tickets to a destination you haven’t been to. You’ve learned to keep a bag packed so you’re ready to go when he comes to pick you up.
            Yeosang also started planning short trips to places around Korea for his shorter breaks, because he just wanted to spend all his breaks with you. He loved getting to spend this one on one time with you, loved showing you places he’s been on tour, showing you the world.
            He also began sending you pictures of the places they were while he was on tour, making a mental list of the ones you seemed excited to see. Yeosang had an entire list in his phone of the places he wanted to take you, complete with sights to see and food to try under each one. The list was ever growing, and he can’t wait to show each place.
Let’s you practice makeup on him
            It started with a simple, “Sangie, can I do your makeup?” and ended up becoming a weekly thing you liked to do. You’d sit in his lap and gently apply the products on his face. It soon became one of his favourite things to do with you because he loved having you so close, loved how intimate it felt.
            As you did his makeup, you would compliment his features. Tell him how pretty you found him. Atiny helped him not hate his birthmark, but you? Oh god you? You made him fall in love with it. The way you’d trace it softly with your fingertips with a soft smile on your face, whispering the word pretty every single time. You never covered it, telling him it was one of your favourite parts of him.
            You helped him see himself through your eyes. He’s never felt so pretty, so confident. And he realizes he can’t hold back anymore. He wants you, needs you, loves you. You’re sitting on his lap, his arms are wrapped around you so you don’t fall, and your face is so close. You told him you were going to turn him into the fairy prince he really is. “Sangie! Your cheeks are so red I don’t even need to use blush. You’re so cute!”
            You boop his nose and he knows that this is his chance. He slowly leans forward, risking everything in this moment. It’s slow at first and then fast and sudden. He captures your lips in a kiss and waits for you to push him away, but you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back. He risked everything, and it was worth it.
Bonus
            “Oop my bad. I just needed to grab something. Please carry on.” Yunho says as he tiptoes into the room and grabs something off his bed and leaves again. “Guys! They were kissing! It finally happened!” They heard as Yunho made his way back to where the rest of the members were.
            “Kissing?! Before marriage?!” Wooyoung yells and Yeosang can hear him running to the bedroom before he was stopped by someone, probably Hongjoong.
            “Just accept that he likes Y/n more than you.” Jongho teased. Yeosang chuckled and you blushed. Then he brought your face closer to his, bringing you in for another kiss.
San
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Buying/sharing plushies
            San loves plushies, it’s just a well known fact. He has favourites of the ones he owns, but he loves them all. And he enjoys buying new ones that he finds. He also loves you, which is not a well known fact. He doesn’t even realize it at first, until he’s standing in the plushy aisle in a store, holding one that reminds him of you, and he feels happy.
            He buys it immediately, gifting it to you the next time he sees you. San watches your eyes light up when you see it, and he has a need to see it again. You told him you’ve been jealous of his collection, and before he could stop himself, he’s offering half custody to you.
            That’s where it began. Every weekend the two of you would swap a plushy or two. He was nervous to part with his favourites at first, but you would send selfies of you with them doing random things together. Like having a movie night, or a spa day, or just eating a meal together. And he loved it. So much so he made one of the pictures the wallpaper on his phone.
            You always made sure to take good care of his plushies because you knew how much they meant to him. They always came back in the same condition they left, except they smelled like you. It became his new favourite thing. And he would cuddle the ones that smelled like you at night, imagining it was you next to him instead.
Pool days
            San loves the pool. He could stay in the water for hours, just chilling, swimming, vibing. Him and the members tried to go whenever they could, but it wasn’t nearly as often as he wanted. When you moved to a new place with a pool, you offered for him to come over whenever he wanted and the two of you could enjoy pool days together.
            He jumped at the opportunity to spend more time with you, and the chance to show off his body. He’s worked hard to get it to where it is now, he’s proud of it, and he wants you to enjoy it. Wants you to ogle, stare, drool. He hopes to be the person in your horny fantasies. The one in your wet dreams.
            Little did he know that checking him out was exactly the plan when you offered for him to come over. You’ve seen pictures, but you wanted to see the real deal. Wanted to see it up close and personal. Your eyes were glued on him and he was soaking it all in. He felt a sense of pride watching your eyes follow him everywhere he went. You were taking mental pictures for a late night alone.
            “Join me.” He says after jumping into the pool. You were sat in a lounge chair, enjoying the view, but you could also enjoy the view from up close. San watched as you took your clothes off, leaving you in your swimsuit. And he realized that he was unprepared to see you in a swimsuit. Only preparing himself for you to see him in his swimsuit. And now he has to figure out how to get rid of his boner before you both decide to get out of the pool.
Carries you around everywhere
            You’re not sure when or why it started, but San developed a thing for carrying you around. Whether it was a piggyback ride, or he was just picking you up in his arms. He never seemed to have a destination in mind, just wandering around with you on his back or in his arms. He just loves having you close.
            He’s always been a clingy guy, but he wants to be clingier with you, if that was possible. That’s why he wants to carry you everywhere, so he can always have you touching him in some way. Your touch is his favourite.
            He’s picking you up as soon as he sees you, something you’ve become very used to over the last couple months. Though it seems as if today he has a destination in mind because he’s not just aimlessly wandering around. Before you can ask where you’re going, you’re being set down in front of a man you’ve only seen in pictures and videos on the internet. “Soulmate 1, meet soulmate 2!” San beams.
            “Hey! You can only have one soulmate!” Wooyoung pouts. You can’t help but giggle.
            “You’re my platonic soulmate. Y/n is my romantic soulmate.”
Bonus
            “San has a s/o!” Wooyoung yells as he runs off to who knows where. You’re still standing there, staring at San with wide eyes, but he just looks at you with a smile, cocking his head to the side. He looked so cute, and you felt so lucky that he saw you as his soulmate.
            “I love you.” You blurted out suddenly. San just chuckled, pulling you into his arms.
            “I know.” He says, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I love you too.” You were too shocked to ask how he knew, but it didn’t really matter. Because at the end of the day, he loves you too.
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Mingi
Smiles/laughs more when you’re around
            Yunho noticed it first. The almost automatic smile that would make its way onto Mingi’s face whenever he saw you. Even just being in the same room in you would make him smile. How he laughed at all your jokes, even the ones that weren’t all that funny. Mingi would laugh like it was the funniest joke he’s ever heard. Every single time.
            Whenever Mingi was having a bad day, Yunho would call you over, and Mingi would brighten up almost instantly. “Heard you’re having a rough day. Want to talk about it?” You’d ask with such a soft voice and so much affection pouring from your eyes, Yunho felt like a third wheel immediately.
            It was as if you two were in your own little world. Mingi would play with your hand as he rambled about his day, and you listened to every word. When he was finished, he would look at you and smile, and it was like a weight was lifted off of him. Even if nothing was fixed, everything was better.
            “I love your smile.” You told him once. “It’s my favourite thing about you.”
Will do anything to make you laugh
            His smile was your favourite thing about him, but your laugh was his favourite thing about you. To him, your laugh sounded like pure joy, pure happiness. Your laugh could make even his worst days better. Your laugh makes stars shine brighter, makes hot chocolate taste sweeter, makes colours more vibrant. He could write an entire album based entirely on your laugh.
            So whenever he sees you upset, he’s on a mission. He will do absolutely anything to make you laugh. Even if it involves embarrassing himself repeatedly. Funny faces, dumb jokes, falling over. He’ll even get the members involved if nothing else seems to work.
            This is when the others started to clue into his feelings for you. And they all wonder how you can’t see it, when it’s so clear and in your face.
Clumsier when you’re around
            Mingi is always clumsy, but he tends to trip over himself more when you’re around. It’s as if he completely forgets how to walk, forgets where his limbs are and how they work, whenever you come around.
            A few times he overpoured his drink because he saw you as he was pouring and got distracted by how attractive you are. He didn’t want to look away, couldn’t look away. You’re magnetic to him. Ethereal. “You’re spilling.” You pointed out to him with a giggle.
            “I meant to do that. Thought the counter was thirsty too.” He tried to play it off. You just nodded and helped him clean it up, making a comment about how the counter must have not been that thirsty after all. And that was the final straw for him. He was in love with you. Irrevocably so. The words almost came spilling out like the juice on the counter, but he bit his tongue. Do you feel the same?
            When you left that day, the other members gave him a pep talk so that the next time you came over, he would confess to you. Every doubt he had, they would squash away.
            What if Y/n doesn’t feel the same? They look at you like you hung the stars in the sky.
            What if forget what to say? Write it down. Practice. Just like our songs. Pretend they are lyrics.
            What if I can’t speak? Here. Use this whiteboard.
            What if… You’ll do great, princess.
            The second he sees you, he’s tripping over his feet to greet you, literally. He falls flat on his face in front of you and your eyes widen as he just lays there. You wonder if he knocked himself out by accident, but then he picks his head up and looks at you. He’s smiling, but you can see the blood dripping from his nose, and you go to rush to help him, but he starts speaking before you can do anything. “I’m just falling for you physically and emotionally.”
Bonus
            You sat next to him on the couch, dabbing up the now dried blood under his nose. “You’re lucky it’s not broken.”
            “Hey, I got a s/o out of it so it would have been worth it.” You couldn’t help the blush that dusted across your cheeks, but you shook your head to try and hide your flustered state.
            “Oh my gOd! They’re dating your honor.” San said as everyone piled back into the dorms.
            “What happened to your face?” Jongho asked.
            “Did you say something stupid so Y/n punched you?” Wooyoung joined in.
            “I tripped.” Mingi mumbled, looking down at his hands. You grabbed one in your own, lacing your fingers together, and giving a quick squeeze, reassuring him that everything was okay.
            “That’s our clumsy princess.” Yunho chuckled.
Wooyoung
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Teaching you to cook/cooking together
            Wooyoung loves to cook. Especially when he’s cooking for those he loves. You became one of his favourite people to cook for when he realized he was falling. Part of it was to make sure you were eating well, the other part was just him wanting to show off, show you he’d make a great partner.
            And then you asked him to teach you. He could feel his heart wanting to beat out of his chest as you looked at him with your pleading eyes. How could he deny you when you looked so cute begging him like this?
            He loved how domestic it felt to be in the kitchen with you like this, the two of you cooking a meal to eat together. You were chopping the vegetables, having a little bit of trouble, when you felt arms wrap around you. He gripped your hands with his. “If you do it like this, it’s easier.” He said softly in your ear, causing shiver to go up your spine. You stuttered out a thank you and tried to replicate his moves on your own.
            Wooyoung still did most of the work, but he gave you all the credit, taking a bite and telling you that you did such a great job. It made you laugh, and that’s all that matters to him.
Teaches you Ateez choreography
            Every comeback, the members ask their idol friends to do dance challenges with them to post on Tiktok. Fans love to see the little interactions between their favourite idols and see them try each other’s choreography. You were no different. Even tried to learn some of the dances yourself.
            Wooyoung had once walked in on you trying to learn the choreography to Seventeen’s new song and decided from then on he would teach you Ateez’s choreography. Your face lit up when he offered, and you told him that you always wanted to learn, but some of the dances looked really hard.
            Just like he was a great cooking teacher, he was also a great dance teacher, and you picked up on the moves quite quickly. “You could be our ninth member.” He had joked a few times with a smile on his face.
            “8 makes 1 team.” You responded with a smirk. You were right, of course. But that still didn’t stop him from making the joke every time you nailed a new dance. He was proud of you and he hopes you know that.
            Now every comeback, Wooyoung comes to you first. He can’t post the dance challenge he films with you, but he can look back on them when he misses you.
Mani pedi dates
            It started with him wanting to pick out the colour for you. And the design, if you got one. Then he started scrolling Pinterest for ideas for you. Which then turned into him saying you should get nails to match their albums. And then finally, matching nails.
            You would make the appointment when he was free, he would pick the design for both of you. It was relaxing and a great bonding experience for the two of you. He loved spending the couple hours it took for the both of you to get mani pedi’s together. Catching up on the days you were apart. And he would pay every single time. For both of you. No matter how much you protested, so you just gave up.
            Today, the nails weren’t based on any Ateez albums, or songs. He chose something with hearts. “I’m confessing.” He tells you, and your heart sinks. He likes someone? “I want to introduce you to the person I’m in love with today. Come over for dinner?” He loves someone. He’s in love with someone. You just nod, and the two of you go your separate ways.
            You dress as nicely as you can, hoping the makeup you put on covered the sadness you were feeling. “I can do this.” You chant to yourself as you make your way over. “I’ll meet them and then I’ll move on from him.” You say before ringing the doorbell. Wooyoung answers with a smile, taking your hand in his, and whisking you inside, where you see a table set for two, but no other person.
            You try not to think too much of it. Try not to get your hopes up. They’re probably running late. Or maybe they’re in the bathroom. And you’ll soon see how perfect for Wooyoung they are, and then you’ll go back home and drown your sorrows in a tub of ice cream. “Y/n, meet the person I’m in love with.”
            You bring yourself back to reality. Stood in front of a mirror. And everything clicks for you. “You’re a little shit.”
Bonus
            “He did what and you still said yes?” Seonghwa asked. “Did you at least hit him first?”
            “They kissed me.” Wooyoung answered with a proud smile. “A lot.”
            “Okay they don’t need to know all those details.” You place your hand over his mouth, telling him to shut up.
            “No, no. I think we do. Please, tell us more.” Yeosang teased.
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Jongho
Clingy with you
            Jongho doesn’t realize he’s falling for you until a movie night where you cuddle up to him, and he doesn’t squirm away from your touch. In fact, he softens under your touch, feels safer under your touch. That’s when he looks over at you, your attention still on the movie, and he realizes he loves you.
            From that point on, he becomes clingy with you. Greeting you with a hug, goodbye hugs, cuddles whenever he sits next to you. It just feels natural to be touching you in someway. And it becomes a common sight for everyone to see that no one catches on to his underlying feelings for you.
            He loves to play with your hands or the rips in your jeans if he’s nervous. Jongho has also started grabbing for your hand when walking around, so he doesn’t lose you in the crowds, and so you don’t wander off if you find a stray cat.
            When he has a particularly bad day, he’s coming to you immediately. Laying on top of you on the couch or in bed, his head on your chest, your hands in his hair. It relaxes him immediately. Just listening to your heartbeat, feeling you play with his hair, it feels like home. Sometimes you hum your current favourite song softly, sometimes you’ll tell him about your day. He loves every second.
Going to the gym together
            The gym is where Jongho gets most of his alone time. Sometimes another member or two will tag along, but they tend to stick to their own routines. But the second he heard you mention wanting to start going to the gym, he offered for you to join him.
            He helped you get a routine going. Taught you how to use the machines. Jongho was basically your personal trainer that you didn’t have to pay. You just didn’t know how to tell him the whole reason you agreed to join him was to watch him workout.
            But he knew. He had overheard your conversation with one of your friends who was asking why the sudden interest in the gym. It’s not that I’m interested in the gym per se. But watching guys, watching Jongho workout? Yes please. He wouldn’t lie, that single sentence, that single revelation, gave him a boost of confidence.
            He started wearing tank tops when he knew it would be just you two at the gym. Would make sure to be somewhere nearby so you could have a nice view. He would smirk to himself whenever he caught you watching instead of focusing on your own workout. If it was you, he didn’t mind one bit.
Always comes when you call
            The first time was when you missed the last bus. It was late and seconds away from raining. And you really didn’t have the money to Uber. You called Jongho almost in tears, and he was in the car before you could even finish your sentence.
            The second time was when your friend bailed last minute and you didn’t have any other way home. You apologized even more than the first time. He reassured you that it didn’t matter him what else he had going on, he would always come when you called. Always.
            And he did. Even on the days when you were just calling because you just didn’t feel like taking the bus after the day you had. He never complained, was never upset. He was always smiling when you got into his passenger seat, reassuring you that he really didn’t mind picking you up.
            It was another day of you calling for him to pick you up. He was already in the car the second he heard your ringtone. You apologized for calling, and he could heard the exhaustion in your voice, could hear the tears you were trying to hold back. If he could, he would have broken every road law just to get to you faster.
            “I’m so sorry.” You apologize again. He takes in your tired state and tells you once again not to worry about it. “I just feel like I’m always bothering you.”
            “Would it make you feel better if I was your boyfriend?” He says suddenly. “Fuck I didn’t mean to say that.” He can’t look at you, but if he did, he would see you looking at him with wide eyes and mouth agape. You’re speechless, unsure of what to say. Because you would still feel like a bother, but you would feel better in general if he was your boyfriend.
            “I mean maybe.” You answer finally. “I think you’ll have to ask me to find out.”
Bonus
            The two of you walk into the dorms hand in hand, ready for the chaos that is about to ensue. “I knew it!!” Yeosang exclaimed when he saw the two of you. “Everyone said I was insane for saying Jongho liked Y/n! But look at them now!”
            “Technically you’re wrong.” Jongho replied. “I love Y/n.”
            “Holy shit?!” Wooyoung exclaimed.
            “I knew there was a reason you were going to the gym more often!” San added in.
            “My s/o likes watching me workout.” Jongho tells them with a smile, and you look over at him in shock.
            “How the fuck did you know that?”
@mxnsxngie @maeleelee @cadenonlinelive @weird-bookworm @turtledove824 @lakoya @lookitsjess @yukichan67 @qveenbibi @palindrome969 @goddess-of-the-dark
pink means I couldn't tag you 🥺
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surftrips · 1 year ago
Note
luke x daughter of aphrodite!! maybe a super cute fluff where they help luke show percy around and just their experience with percy!
-🥽 anon
stop this prompt is soo cute ! thanks for sending it in &lt;3
"You okay?" Luke asked the newest camper in his cabin.
"Super."
"We all have them, you know." Luke clicked his tongue. "Intense, recurring nightmares. That's normal here. For the first time in your life, you're just like everyone else."
"So are you also... Do you not know who your..." the blonde boy began to ask.
"Am I unclaimed?" Luke shook his head. "No, Hermes is my father. That doesn't matter though, we're all on the same team here."
"Why is it okay they ignore some of us?"
"Spend too much time figuring out what the gods do whatever it is they do, you'll drive yourself crazy. Sooner you can stop worrying about that, the sooner you can enjoy what this place actually does offer."
"And what's that?"
Luke smiled, guiding Percy out the door to show him the rest of camp.
The two boys ran into Clarisse and the Ares kids first. Luke explained to Percy that the Ares kids were always confrontational and brutally honest, but he had nothing to worry about, as long as he was around.
"Come on, let's go figure out what you're good at."
After crossing off archery and metalworking, and dodging several near death experiences, they sat down for lunch.
"Is there a Greek god of disappointment?" Percy sighed.
"We're gonna find the thing you're good at, I know it," Luke reassured him. "We should try-"
Before he could finish his sentence, Luke's eyes lit up and a smile crossed his face, causing Percy to turn around.
A girl came over to Luke's side of the table and kissed the top of his head. "Hi, love."
Luke beamed, turning toward Percy. "Y/N, this is Percy, I'm giving him the tour. Percy, Y/N. She's in Aphrodite."
That much he could tell, Percy thought she was one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen.
"Ah, bonjour! Comment ça va?" she asked him.
Percy looked confused, only recognizing the first part of the sentence. "Uhhh... hello?"
Y/N smiled softly, "Guess he's not in Aphrodite then. Any luck finding out your skill, Percy?"
"No, unforunately," Percy grumbled.
"Aw, don't worry. Soon enough you'll be like Luke here," she had moved to sit in his lap by now, one of his arms curled around her waist. "Did you know he's the best swordsman at camp?"
She looked at Luke proudly, Percy swore he saw hearts instead of pupils in her eyes.
"I think it's come up once or twice," Percy responded.
The Aphrodite girl smiled again, "Have you shown Percy the lake yet?" she asked Luke.
"No, not yet. Do you want to come with us?"
"You mean, do I want to show him the place where we met? Is that even a question?"
The trio finished up their food and headed back outside. Y/N led the way, her presence enough to clear a path in the group of campers idling outside. Luke and Percy followed a few feet behind her.
"So... how long have you two been...?" Percy asked shyly.
"Three years. Since we were 16," Luke responded. Though Percy had only known Luke for about a day at this point, he couldn't help but notice how Luke's entire demeanor had changed since Y/N's arrival.
"Oh, wow. That's a long time."
"I got really lucky."
"What do you mean?"
"Before I got here, I had nobody. I mean, there was Annabeth and Thalia, but they're like my sisters. Y/N was the one that showed me what love is."
"Is that what you meant earlier? About enjoying what this place has to offer?"
He smiled. "You might be surprised, Percy."
"Are you boys coming or not?" Y/N called back toward them.
"Yes, ma'am!" Luke yelled back, jogging up to where she was. They were almost at the lake by then.
"So, Percy, anyone at camp catch your eye yet?" Y/N asked, her hand wrapped around Luke's arm.
"Babe, he just got here." Luke said.
"So? I knew I liked you the second we met."
Luke blushed, caught off guard by her sincerity. That was one thing he wasn't sure he would ever get over, her ability to express her emotions so unabashedly. It was something he still struggled with from time to time, but for her, he would let down all of his walls.
"I wouldn't say I have a crush on her or anything- she kinda just scares me but she did catch my attention," Percy interrupted Luke's thoughts.
"What's her name?" Y/N asked.
"Annabeth, I think."
Y/N nodded knowingly, looking over at Luke. "Well, I guess we'll just see if anything special blooms there. Anyway, we're here!"
The sun was beginning to set over the horizon now, painting the sky in beautiful hues of purple and pink. A gentle breeze accompanied the three as they sat down by the water.
Y/N leaned against Luke's body, savoring the warmth he offered. He absent-mindedly twirled a piece of her hair.
"Three years ago, I was sitting right here, when I saw someone a few feet away from me. He was throwing rocks into the lake and disturbing my peace," Y/N began. "When I looked over to see who it was-"
"You saw the most gorgeous man you've ever laid your eyes on," Luke cut in.
"Hey!" Y/N playfulled smacked his shoulder. "I know you've heard this story one hundred times but Percy hasn't yet."
"Yeah, I haven't yet!" Percy backed her up.
The two older campers laughed. "Thank you, Percy. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, I saw this boy with curly dark hair and soft brown eyes, and I thought that's him. He's the one. This was before I was claimed by Aphrodite, but I just had a feeling, you know?"
Percy nodded, even though he wasn't sure he had experienced that feeling yet.
"But anyway, this boy looked kind of sad, so I decided to sit next to him."
"I think that's why he was throwing rocks into the water," Percy broke in.
Y/N giggled and Luke nudged her shoulder to continue.
"You're right, Percy, I had the same thought. When I sat next to him, I sensed that he was annoyed."
"Okay, love, let me finish from here." Luke softly kissed her shoulder and she buried her head in the crook of his neck.
"I wasn't annoyed-" he clarified. "At least, not at you. I had just been claimed by my father, but I was still frustrated with the whole idea of gods having children and just ignoring them. Then, this angel sat next to me and for the first time, I felt seen."
Y/N looked up at her boyfriend, her face full of nothing but admiration. No matter how many times she heard this part of the story, she still couldn't believe how she got quite so lucky.
"Percy, our parents may never redeem themselves for their wrongdoings, but I thank the gods every day they sent me Y/N." With that, Luke gently placed his hand on her cheek and leaned in to kiss her.
"Hello! As lovely as this story is, still a minor here!" Percy waved his hand in front of their faces enthusiastically, causing all three of them to burst into laughter.
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lilacgaby · 5 months ago
Text
title: crush chronicles
pairing: megumi x reader
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summary: megumi's crush on you was discovered one by one, until he was finally forced helped to confess.
note: i love megumi.. megumi nation rise up
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he figured out he had a crush on you after your first encounter with a special grade.
as you fought, using your technique to manage a blow on the curse, he stood in awe and fear of you. as you were hit back, slamming into the wall with a sickening crack he felt the fear rage inside him ten times over.
yuuji promised to handle the curse, and at that moment megumi ran to you, as fast as his legs could take him, as he picked you up in his arms and ran out the imperfect domain with you in hand.
he knew he was a goner when the first thing you did before he went to save nobara, was poke his cheek at his worried expression, and utter, "you're so cute 'gumi." before falling asleep.
if he wasn't worried for nobara's life, he might've died right then and there.
his shikigami were the second to notice. more specifically, his divine dogs.
you'd always had a liking for them, petting them after a practice match between you and megumi. you even started to carry treats for them, feeding them whenever the missions were finished.
they sensed that whenever you were around, megumi's heart would start to race. they interpreted that you..
were a threat.
now having pulled a complete 180 on you, they refused any form of affection from you. whenever you got near megumi when they were out, they'd circle him in a defensive position, barking at you to stay away.
you sulked for an entire week about this, pouting around as you asked megumi why his dogs no longer liked you. grabbing his arm as you jokingly shook him around.
this only made his heart race faster, and his dogs feel even more inclined to protect him.
it's only when one day, while they scouted for curses ahead, that they noticed megumi patting your head as you celebrated your win, that a realization set in.
you were special to him.
after that, it was all back to normal with you and the dogs, in fact they were even more excited to be with you than normal. megumi smiled fondly at the sight of you with his divine dogs. they grew close to you too, he thought.
the next person to understand was nobara.
she had taken you two out shopping in japan, saying it was important for two girls to look good while they kicked ass.
yuuji and megumi tagged along for some reason, much to her dismay.
"this was supposed to be a girls day! you two aren't girls!"
"it's first-year bonding time."
"give me a break!"
it ended up working out, nobara using yuuji to hold all your bags as you shopped around. eventually you got hungry, and megumi offered to take you to a cafe, leaving a tired yuuji with a hyper nobara.
you two sat at a table and shared a slice of your favorite cake. you laughed as you spoke about the things that just popped into your head, megumi smiling as he listened.
anyone around could see the lovesick look in his eyes.
nobara finally figured out that you two had snuck away, and was annoyed whilst trying to look for you.
as she and yuuji neared the cafe, they saw you two through the window. a lightbulb went off in her head as she saw how close he sat, how he nodded his head after every couple of sentences, how he fiddled with his spoon as he listened deeply to you.
she slid to a stop, making yuuji bump into her.
"okay, let's go back!"
"but we came all this way and they're right there!"
"yes, but they're so gonna kiss soon! so let's go!" she said, shoving yuuji out as he whined about being tired.
yuuji had seen megumi at the cafe, but it wasn't til a day where he had stumbled upon you two in his dorm room together on a hot day that he'd finally pieced it together in his mind.
he'd witnessed a lot of interactions between you and him that were more than platonic sure, but he just didn't think megumi was that kind of guy.
he thought he was just being a gentleman back at the cafe, taking you out because you were hungry.
he thought he was just being kind when he'd offer to tie your shoes and lend you his water when out on missions.
he thought he was just being the nice guy he is when he'd offer to go with you anywhere, to stores or restaurants or whatever you needed.
but yuuji saw how red-faced megumi was as he stared at you in shorts and a tank top. you were laid with your eyes shut on his bed, a fan in your hands as you waved yourself.
he'd never seen megumi so..
striken.
megumi finally noticed yuuji at the door and jumped up.
yuuji held his hands up and with an apologetic smile closed the door behind him.
'he was so down bad.' yuuji thought, immediately texting nobara.
gojo was late to everything, even this realization.
yuuji and nobara were the ones to spill to him, talking about how close you two had gotten, and how they swore he saw you holding his hand on the mission you were sent out on.
gojo had always teased him about you, but he didn't think his special student would fall for his other prized student. how.. fated!
though he was the last one to realize, gojo was the first one to take initiative to make them forcibly admit their feelings to one another, making a plan.
as they formulated it, they realized that the key factor counted on megumi being clueless, because he'd never let them do this otherwise.
so for the next week they plotted, ignoring the confused looks of yours and megumi's as they snickered like witches.
saturday morning, you and megumi received seperate letters to go and meet under a cherry blossom tree. only your note.. had a bit more written at the end.
you both arrived there, you a bit earlier than megumi.
"megumi, it's you?"
he tilted his head in confusion. "what's me?"
"you called me out here to confess to me?" she said, while holding up the page.
megumi was plotting revenge in his head, but..
he shouldn't waste this chance right?
"yes, yes i did." he rubbed the back of his neck before speaking.
"i admire you. you're pretty, and strong, and courageous. you make light of hard situations no matter how scared you are, you're.. really amazing."
"megumi.." as they neared closer to eachother, the flowers from the tree starting to fall freely onto them, accompanying the sunlight draping in from the moving shade.
they shared their first kiss under that tree,
the first of many more.
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cjlouwho · 3 months ago
Text
tags: violence (gay bashing), homophobic slurs, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, healing, heading toward getting back together, happy-enough ending
(ao3 link or read below)
Like Fine China
“Hey, I need you to keep your eyes open for me, okay? You hear me? Try to keep your eyes open.”
He recognized that voice. The last time he'd heard it was just a few weeks ago, at the hospital. Who was it for though? Why was he at the hospital that time?
His brain felt like a jumbled mess. His body felt even worse.
He just wanted to sleep.
“Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?”
Athena! That's who was speaking to him.
He opened his mouth, cracked one eye open. God, it hurt!
“I- I'm,” the words felt foreign as they escaped him. His voice didn't sound like his own. His mouth was dry, and held a bad taste.
Whiskey and... and metal.
Blood.
“Tommy, paramedics are on their way, okay? I just need you to stay with me until they get here.”
It was dark, but something was shining bright in his face.
“Flash... Flashlight,” he managed to get out, squeezing his eye back shut.
“Eyes- Eye open, Tommy. I'll get the flashlight out of your face, but I need to know you're with me.”
Wait. Had she said paramedics? They couldn't. He couldn't let them- let him see.
“No, no, no,” he mumbled out, shaking his head a couple times until a sharp pain shot through it. “No, h- he can't. I don't-”
“They're not on shift, Tommy.”
He tried to push himself up, away from where she hovered over him. He didn't manage to get very far before she placed a hand on his chest.
“Tommy, you cannot get up. I need you to stay still, and stay conscious. Those two things are your only jobs. You hear me?”
“I can't,” his words were so garbled. He coughed up the blood that'd been dripping down his throat.
I can't let him see.”
“Listen to me, Tommy!” Athena exclaimed, getting right in Tommy's face. He could barely see her, but he could feel her breath on his face. “They're not coming. Buck isn't coming; it'll be someone else.”
In the distance, he heard the sound of sirens. He didn't feel relief. Didn't feel much of anything at all. He was fading, fast. It took all his energy to force out one last sentence before he lost consciousness. “Don't... Don't tell him.”
*****
He just wanted to go out for a drink. Something a little stronger than craft beer.
It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Evan- no, Buck. He was Buck now.
It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Buck and the ache in his chest felt the same way it did the second he walked out of the loft.
He'd thought he was saving himself from future heartbreak, and maybe he was, but it didn't quite make it hurt any less.
Georgie's wasn't exactly a gay bar, but Georgie was gay and the bar itself became a sort of unofficial hang out for older people in the lgbtq+ community. No loud music and everyone left each other alone. A perfect place to decompress while still allowing yourself to be free.
After a couple of whiskey sours, and yeah, a pitcher of craft beer, Tommy was ready to go.
He waited outside, near the alleyway, for his Uber. He found himself going to his messages, hovering over Evan's name. He hadn't had the heart to change it to Buck yet.
He'd been wanting to text him since the breakup. Talk about it some more. Actually give a reason for why it- why he- fell apart so fast. How Buck's words triggered some terrible memories for him. How he suddenly realized there was no way he could be everything he thought Buck needed. Everything Buck deserved. Not to mention they hadn't even exchanged I love you's. And it was insane to think all of Tommy's things could fit in Buck's loft. Buck's things could fit in his house so much easier!
He clicked on Evan's name, started to type something out, erased it, started again, erased it again.
He was usually so aware of his surroundings. His time in the military did that to him. It did a lot of things to him actually, many of which he wasn't very thankful for. However, he prided himself on not being oblivious.
Tonight he was oblivious.
He didn't expect five men to jump him at once. He was a strong guy. Had taken on three men about fifteen years earlier. Did it with ease too.
But not five men. Not when one had a bat, and one had brass knuckles, and one was at least 6'5 and three hundred pounds. Not when they dragged him to the ground and into the alley before he had a chance to react. Screaming slurs at him as they took turns using his body as a punching bag.
He tried to fight. At one point, he was sure he kicked one of the guy's in the face. Heard him yell something like, “The fag broke my tooth!”
It only made things worse.
He wasn't sure when he first lost consciousness, but he knew they were still on top of him. Still laughing as they hit and kicked. He heard the sounds of someone spitting at some point. Felt wet on his face.
Then there was nothing.
Until someone stepped out from somewhere, and maybe they heard him groan? Maybe it was his Uber driver wondering where he was? Maybe it was an employee taking out the trash? He wasn't sure. He could barely hear someone telling him they were calling the police. There was a ringing in his ears, and his lungs felt like they were on fire. Someone said something about wheezing, barely breathing. He wondered what that was about.
Then there was Athena. Then nothing again.
*****
The next time Tommy opened his eyes, he was in a dimly lit hospital room. He was confused. Could barely see out of one eye and everything was blurry out of the other.
His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and maybe some tiny humans hitting his brain with hammers.
“Are you... awake awake or not really awake?”
The sound of a man's voice startled him. He couldn't hardly move, but he was able to focus his eyes across the room at the figure in the corner.
“Ed- Eddie?”
God, his voice sounded weird. Why did it sound like that? Like he'd spent the last 30 years smoking a pack a day.
“Yeah, I'm here.”
He sounded hesitant. Maybe they'd had this conversation before? If they had, Tommy certainly didn't remember it.
“Wha- Why?”
Eddie stepped closer. “You're in the hospital, Man.”
Tommy wanted to roll his eyes. No duh.
He settled for clearing his throat, which turned into a burning sensation running down his chest. “Why're you... here?” he tried. Hoped Eddie understood that much.
“Tommy-”
“I t- told Athena-” he had to pause to take a breath. “Told her not to tell.”
“Actually, you told Athena not to tell him. And she assumed, correctly, I'm sure, that him was Buck. So she called me instead.”
Tommy closed his eyes. “Why?”
“Why'd she call me? Oh, maybe because you don't have anyone listed as an emergency contact and you were nearly beat to death so she figured you might need someone to be here when you woke up.”
Tommy's jaw clenched at Eddie's harsh words.
Nearly beat to death.
He was nearly beat to death.
Eddie either noticed Tommy's heart rate going up on the monitor, or his eyes filling with tears, because he was right beside his bed in two strides. “Sorry,” he said. “Sorry, I- I'm kinda pissed, Man.”
“S'okay,” Tommy replied, swallowing hard. “I deserve it.”
Eddie looked taken aback. “No, I'm not- Tommy, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this,” he said, gesturing over Tommy's body. “I've never seen...” Eddie's voice trailed off and, through Tommy's own blurry vision, he could see that Eddie was close to crying.
“What'd they do to me?” Tommy asked, barely able to take in all his injuries. His entire body hurt, no part any worse or less than the other. He could feel something on every limb, but he couldn't quite move his head around enough to see what it was.
Eddie took a deep breath. He wiped at his eyes with his fingers, sniffling before getting started. “You've got bruising on about seventy-five percent of your body. You had surgery for a busted kneecap on your right knee. Your left arm has a fracture, and your right one has thirty stitches, I think. They broke a few ribs, so it's gonna hurt like hell when you take a deep breath or cough. Um, you had some internal bleeding, but they got that under control pretty fast. You've got a fracture in your cheek, which may cause some extra pain when you talk. You've got a few broken fingers too, and lost a couple fingernails during your- when you were defending yourself.”
“Hm,” Tommy hummed once Eddie was done. “S'that all?”
Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I'm sure I missed a couple things, actually, jackass.”
Tommy let out a laugh, which quickly turned into a groan. “Thanks for coming, Eddie,” he said, trying and failing at moving himself into a slightly more comfortable position. “You don't have to stay though. I'll be fine.”
Eddie stared at him incredulously. “You're kidding me.”
Tommy shifted his eyes back in Eddie's direction. “No, I- I'll be okay. I've got it. Just,” he paused to take a breath, “don't let Buck know, please.”
Eddie raised a finger toward Tommy. “Well, see, about that. You only told Athena not to tell him before, and-”
“You didn't.”
“-and see he was already at my place when I got the call, so-”
“Please tell me you didn't.”
“I have one with cream and one with sugar and- Oh my God, you're awake!” The sound of Buck's voice had Tommy's head twisting toward the door so quickly that a pain shot from the bottom of his back all the way to the top of his head. “Ow!” he yelped, clenching his teeth and tossing his head against the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Oh my God. Has the nurse come in yet? Have they checked his vitals? Eddie, you said he'd be out for a while! Tommy, do you feel any nausea? Do you remember who we are? The nurses said you might have-”
“Buck!” Eddie exclaimed. “Stop. He's okay.” He glanced over at Tommy, “I did forget to mention the head trauma.”
Tommy groaned, giving him a glare.
Eddie walked over to Buck and took the drink carrier from his hands. “I'll go find a nurse, you stay with him.”
Tommy wanted to yell out to Eddie to please not go, and also screw you, and maybe throw a couple hand gestures in there too. He stayed silent instead.
Buck looked Tommy up and down, hesitating slightly before walking up to the side of the bed. “So, you're-”
“I want to see myself,” Tommy blurted.
“Oh, um, I... Tommy, I don't. It might be better to wait.”
Tommy managed to move his head enough to look up at Buck. He could see the fear- no, the panic- in Buck's eyes.
“I wanna see," he repeated.
“Tommy-”
“Buck!” It took a lot of strength to get his name out so forcefully, and he didn't quite mean it to sound as angry as it did, but this wasn't Buck's decision. It was his. And he wanted to see what he looked like.
Buck pulled his phone from his back pocket, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled up the camera.
Slowly, he lifted the phone up to Tommy's face.
The second it registered that he was looking at himself, Tommy sucked in a breath. He grimaced as pain radiated through his chest but, when Buck went to move the camera away he stopped him. “No,” he said. “Just. Just wait.”
He knew his eyes were swollen by how out of focus his vision was, but he had no idea just how bad they looked. The right was worse than the left, but both were an angry mixture of black, purple, and green. The bruise on the left side of his face ran down his cheek to his jaw, circling underneath his chin like a half moon and fading into his facial hair. There were marks on his neck. Looked like someone's hand. He could understand Eddie's hesitancy on mentioning that. He didn't remember anyone gripping him there, which was probably for the best.
His forehead had more bruises, and cuts too. There was dried blood at his hairline, some stitched up cuts. His curly hair was nearly matted to his head, his scalp a brutal crimson.
“I tried to wash the blood out of your hair with a washcloth,” Buck explained anxiously, “but you have some lacerations on your scalp and I didn't want to bother them until they healed a little more.”
It was all so overwhelming. There was a whirring sound in his ears that made him feel dizzy. His eyes burned as they filled with tears that he didn't have the strength to wipe away.
“Okay,” he said, his voice uneven. He cleared his throat. “Can you- You can go, please. I don't... You can go.”
“Tommy-”
“Ev- Buck, I'm awake, I'm fine, I don't need anyone here.” He stared straight ahead, unable to look Buck in the eyes. “Please.”
“No.”
Tommy really didn't feel like dealing with stubborn Evan right now. “I don't-”
“I don't really care, Tommy. I'm not leaving you here. I've been at this damn hospital for three days now and I'm staying until you go home. I don't care what-”
He was cut off by the sound of footsteps behind him.
“Got the nurse,” Eddie said, an awkward smile on his face. The nurse, to her credit, ignored all the tension in the room.
“Let me get some hand sanitizer and gloves and I'll be right with you, Mr. Kinard.”
Buck sighed. He stepped even closer to Tommy. “I'm gonna go into the hall long enough for the nurse to check you out,” he said, maneuvering himself until he was halfway leaning over the bed, his arm on the other side of Tommy to prop himself up as he forced him to make eye contact. “I will be back in a few minutes. You have people who care about you, Tommy, whether you like it or not.”
With that said, Buck stood back up and left the room.
*****
Tommy spent a few more days in the hospital before he was released. There were only two times that Buck left long enough to get a shower and get a little rest in a real bed. Both of those times, he made sure Eddie was there the entire time.
Athena had come in to get his statement. Asked him all sorts of questions, most of which Tommy couldn't answer. He hadn't really gotten a good look at them. Only had very basic descriptions. He remembered the slurs they had hurled at him, knew they attacked because he was gay. He couldn't really figure out how they knew though. Besides being outside of that bar, it wasn't like Tommy ever did anything that screamed gay. Not that it mattered.
She'd been honest with him. There were no cameras at that part of the street, or in the alleyway. No one got a good description of the attackers, and the person who called the police only saw their shadows as they disappeared into the night. She'd do everything she could, but it wasn't likely they'd find these men. At least, not until they did this again.
Bobby stopped by once with some homemade chicken noodle soup. Buck had to feed him every bite, which made Tommy feel like he was about to cry the entire time, but he managed half a bowl before he had to stop. It was a million times better than anything the hospital had been feeding him, and he was glad to know Bobby had put some in his freezer to give Tommy when he got home.
Chim and Maddie came one evening. He'd been asleep when they got there, woke up some time during their visit, but he kept his eyes shut until they left.
Honestly, every time someone walked through the doors he felt more and more like running out of the hospital and finding a hole to fall into. Then, if he were lucky, someone would just shovel some dirt over him and let him rest.
These weren't his people. They were Buck's people. They didn't need to be there for him. They needed to hate him. They needed to laugh at his bruises and tell him he deserved every last one. They needed to yell at him for breaking Buck's heart to try and save his own.
That'd be a lot easier than this.
Thankfully, Hen and Karen didn't come by. They did send flowers though, and a card that explained both kids had strep throat and they didn't want to risk bringing that to the hospital. They'd come by Tommy's place once he was home.
He and Buck didn't talk about anything that needed to be talked about. All the unsent messages that had swirled through Tommy's mind didn't matter right now. It was like an unspoken rule between the two of them. Right now was not the time to try and fix whatever happened between them. Right now was about Tommy healing.
*****
As soon as they got Tommy home, Buck left Eddie with him so he could go to the pharmacy and pick up his medications. When he got back, Eddie headed out to go home and rest, promising to come back later with a variety of foods that would be easy on Tommy to eat.
The silence felt more... silent at Tommy's house. It was different now that they were at home instead of a hospital with people coming in and out at all times.
Tommy needed to do something, say something, to break the silence.
“I wasn't on a date,” he muttered out as Buck organized his pain meds on his nightstand.
Buck paused briefly before getting right back to it. “Didn't think you were.”
Tommy nodded. “Okay. I just, I don't know, didn't want you to think that.”
“You go to Georgie's when your brain is working overtime and you need it to quiet down.”
Tommy's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't know I ever told you that.”
“You didn't,” Buck replied, handing Tommy his pills and a glass of water. “I just know you.”
Tommy swallowed the pills, wincing slightly. His throat still felt scratchy even a week later. “I don't know how they knew,” he said as Buck took the water from him and set it on his nightstand.
“Who knew what?”
“Those guys that-” he stopped. “I don't know how they knew I was gay.”
“A lot of queer people hang out at Georgie's,” Buck answered. “They probably took a guess.”
The thought of it made Tommy's stomach lurch. “I've spent most of my life trying to make sure people couldn't guess.”
Buck watched him for a moment quizzically. “Tommy, you're not... You don't blame yourself for this, do you? You know this wasn't your fault, right?”
Tommy avoided eye contact with Buck. He felt so small right now. “I know I didn't do anything to provoke them.”
“That doesn't really answer my question.”
“I just... I don't know what I could have done differently. I know I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I... I should probably go to a different bar, maybe. I don't know.”
“You can't be serious right now.”
“This is everything I feared my entire life, Buck,” Tommy admitted and, God, he wished he could shut up right now. The pain pills were starting to make him a little loose lipped, mixed with him truly being alone with Buck for the first time since they broke up, mixed with an undeniable fear every time he thought about that night, seemed to make it impossible to close his mouth. “I did everything to make sure nothing like this would ever happen to me and it still did. I keep thinking about it and wondering how it could have been different. How I could have been different.”
“Tommy, can you look at me?”
Slowly, Tommy looked up at Buck, his eyes shining with tears.
“This was not your fault. There's nothing you could or should have done differently. You cannot let those five men shove you back into a closet.”
“I-” Tommy cleared his throat. “They're not. It's just... a lot right now.”
“I get that, I- I do. You look tired. Why don't you rest for a bit, okay? I'll be here when you wake up.”
“Buck, you don't-”
“If you tell me I don't need to stay I will force feed you bone broth when you wake up.”
Tommy shivered. “Ugh! I hate bone broth.”
“I know you do.” Buck gently pulled a pillow out from under Tommy, allowing him to lie back easier. “Close your eyes, get some rest. I'm here when you need me.”
*****
They were bound to fight sometime. Tommy had honestly expected it to happen sooner. Buck had been staying with him for three weeks now, only gone when he was working a shift. Bobby had let him work part time for now, with Carla caring for him when Buck was gone.
They'd managed to get past the initial awkwardness. Buck rambled about any and every subject he could think of. They'd watch movies together on the couch, with Tommy falling asleep halfway through due to his pain meds.
Buck would get Tommy tucked in bed, then set himself up on Tommy's floor in case he was needed during the night. Tommy had tried to insist he use the spare room, but Buck wouldn't hear of it. He knew Tommy wouldn't call for him if he needed him through the night.
Then Tommy tried to suggest he sleep in the bed. But that was a no go because, “I kick, Tommy, you know this. Do you really want another knee surgery?”
They'd been focused on Tommy getting better. And they'd been ignoring the many, many elephants in the room.
So, a fight was expected.
What wasn't expected was for the fight to start because Tommy needed to pee.
Buck had seemed a bit more on edge today, but Tommy chalked that up to a shift that ran longer than expected.
Tommy had grabbed his crutches, which he'd just been able to start using to go short distances. He still didn't quite trust himself to use them at night, but he was working toward relying on them more and relying on people less.
When he stood, Buck immediately stood with him.
“I'm fine, Buck. I just need to go to the bathroom.”
“I'll help you there.”
“I'm really fine. I can get there by myself.”
Tommy was sure he had kept his tone neutral. He definitely didn't want an argument tonight. But, before he could even make it two steps, he heard Buck scoff. “Not surprised.”
And maybe it was the full bladder making him extra bitchy, but Tommy couldn't help turning around and asking, “What's that mean?”
Buck shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing.”
“Obviously it's not nothing. If it were nothing you wouldn't have said anything in the first place. What doesn't surprise you?”
“Just you, ya know, pushing people away. It's what you do.”
“Ha!” Tommy laughed out. “If I'm pushing people away then I really suck at it because you haven't left my house in three weeks. I just need to pee.”
“I'm not talking about right now. I'm talking about me telling you that I loved you and you breaking up with me.”
How in the hell did they end up here?
“You didn't tell me you loved me, Evan!” Tommy exclaimed, unbelievably confused. The sudden change in tone caused Buck to take a step back.
He was only thrown off for a second, quick with a retort. “Of course I did!”
“No, you absolutely did not! You asked me to move in with you, but you did not tell me you loved me.”
“Wait. You asked him to move in with you?” Eddie's voice had them glaring in his direction. Both had forgotten he was even there in the first place. He raised his hands. “Sorry.”
“Well, I- it was obviously implied,” Buck argued. “I wouldn't have asked you to move in if I didn't love you.”
“How the hell was I supposed to know that?! You were making it sound like I was some gay hero that sewed the first pride flag! I don't even go to pride events, Evan! All the colors are far too bright and the glitter never leaves you.”
“Glitter is really annoying,” Eddie agreed.
Tommy pointed a crutch at him. “Thank you.”
“I was not trying to make you out to be some gay hero, Tommy! I was telling you that I was comfortable with you. I was telling you I wanted to spend all my time with you. I wanted us to be together!”
“You didn't even think it through, Evan!” Tommy motioned around the room. “I own a home. It comes with two bedrooms that have doors, a garage, a back yard, and two and a half bathrooms. You asked me to move into your loft.”
Eddie shook his head. “Oh, Buck.”
Buck's eyes shot over to him. “You're still here why?”
Eddie stood from his spot on the couch, grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I'm going. Later.”
They both stayed silent until they heard the door open and close.
Buck opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “This is our first fight, isn't it?”
Tommy nodded. “It is.”
“Took us long enough.”
Tommy managed a small smile. “Probably should have fought you that night, honestly.”
“I think I would have felt better if you did.”
“Me too.” Tommy took a deep breath. “I actually really do have to pee,” he said, shifting from one crutch to the other. “Can we pause this until I'm done?”
Buck nodded. “I'll be here.”
They didn't actually fight anymore after that. It was time for Tommy to take his meds, which made him tired, and Buck was tired himself from his shift. Tommy laid in bed, Buck snoring on the floor beside him, thinking it all over. All the things he still felt like he needed to say. The unfinished business they had between them.
The fight wasn't much, but it was something.
It was enough.
For now.
*****
“Are you sure you're good on your own?” Buck asked as Tommy limped behind him toward the door.
“I'm sure. I can successfully do everything on my own now with minimal to no pain.”
Buck turned back to him quickly, eyes wide. “But there's still pain?”
Tommy smiled. “I'm fine, Evan.”
Buck didn't look so sure. “Okay, I... Okay.” Instinctively, he moved forward to wrap Tommy in a hug. He stopped himself before he got too close, but Tommy responded by opening his arms.
Buck's posture relaxed as he gently wrapped his arms around Tommy, careful not to squeeze too tightly. "I was so worried about you," he whispered in the space between them.
"I know."
“You'll call the number I gave you?” he asked.
“I already did yesterday,” Tommy admitted. “When you went out to pick up dinner. My first session is next Monday.”
“Good. That's... That's good.”
“Thank you, Evan. For everything you've done for me. You didn't have to do that.”
Reluctantly, Buck pulled himself away from Tommy.
“Did you realize you've been calling me Evan since our fight a couple weeks ago?” he asked, lips upturning into a smile.
“Oh, um,” Tommy shifted on his feet, taking the pressure off his bad knee. “Sorry. Habit.”
“Don't be sorry. I hate when you call me Buck.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I'll always- I wanna be Evan, to you.”
Tommy nodded, staring into Evan's eyes. “Okay. That's. I'd like that too.”
Buck continued toward the door, stopping again as soon as his hand touched the handle. He looked back. “Hey, Tommy?”
“Yeah?”
“Next time you think about texting me... hit send, okay?”
Tommy had never mentioned that before. But he'd caught Buck's near-texts to him too, so it didn't quite catch him off guard. “I'm kinda a mess, Evan. I'm not as comfortable as you think I am. I'm not... I'm still figuring things out.”
“That's okay. I am too. Text me anyway.”
“Even if I'm asking you out for a coffee? So we can talk? Really talk?”
“Date and time, I'll be there.” Buck smiled softly at him as he opened the door to leave. “I'll get your order right this time.”
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raythekiller · 2 years ago
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could you plz do the creeps realizing they like someone & what they do abt their feelings?? thank you sm !
🗒 ❛ Realizing They're In Love ���‧₊˚✧
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Featuring: Jeff The Killer, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Masky, Hoodie
#Notes: warning for some light angst in some parts (mainly EJ and LJ)
pronouns used:
˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Jeff The Killer
He absolutely hates the way you make him feel and will be extra mean to you because of it. He doesn't even realize what the feelings are at first, he just knows they make him feel vulnerable and weak and he despises that and, by correlation, despises you as well. Once he does realize it though (after a good, good while) he'll still be mean, but more in a teasing sort of way. You can probably tell he has something for you because of how possessive he gets, always wanting your attention to be towards him and getting jealous every time you spend time with other people. He'll just keep behaving that way and getting increasingly upset that you won't notice his "obvious" flirting.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ben Drowned
Now this guy is the most shameless simp to have ever simped on the face of the Earth. That being said, he's not used to actually having feelings for someone - normally it only goes as far as physical attraction. So while he is normally decent at flirting (again, if you like cringe pickup lines at all), it all goes down the drain as soon as he realized he's actually, genuinely down bad. Suddenly he's stuttering, unable to get sentences out right, and finds his mind going blank whenever you're around, just fidgeting with his fingers nervously instead of trying to make a move. It's cute if you're into shy guys.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby
Another one who's a little bit oblivious to his own feelings for a long, long time. All he knows is that you remind him of simpler times, times where things were better, so he wants to be around you as often as he possibly can. You'll be sitting side by side and he'll see your hand resting by your body and the thought of grabbing it crossed his mind, his heart immediately started beating faster to the point he had to excuse himself. That's when he knew. Though he is quite shy by nature, he'll try his best to be a little bolder in his own way, complimenting you more and being a little more physical. One of the only guys who isn't afraid to confess first, though his is a little bit more in the heat of the moment than a well planned out romantic confession.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Eyeless Jack
Now with him, things are a little more complicated. He has what I like to call "villain complex", where he truly and genuinely believes himself to be an awful, disgusting and vile person. Hell, not even a person - a demon. He lacks any kind of good opinion about himself, so when he realizes (quite fast, at that) that he has feelings for you? He feels offended on your behalf. To have a monster, an abomination like him be in love with you, something so good and pure in his eyes, is like the ultimate offense to him. So, he won't act on his feelings. Honestly, he'll even hope that you manage to get with someone else so he can know you're genuinely, truly happy and move on. It's very plausible you two won't ever end up together. Unless you decide to take matters into your own hands, that is.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Laughing Jack
Jack is a little bit of a wild card. He naturally has a flirty personality, so you won't know that he's serious unless he decides to tell you, which he probably won't for a good long while yet. That's because, unless he tells you about it, he doesn't actually have anything to lose. His main fear is that you'll be disgusted by those feelings he has, disgusted by him, and decide to leave him just like everyone else did. It's not even rejection that he's so afraid of, it's abandonment. So, while he has one of the easiest times accepting his feelings, he'll be one of the worst when it comes to acting on them.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Masky
Pretty similar to Jeff, but also complete opposites in some ways. While he is extra mean to you because you make him feel vulnerable, it's also because he's hyper aware of what he's feeling towards you. He's a grown man, he knows attraction when he feels it, sexual or romantic, but that doesn't make him hate it any less. Unlike Jeff who's an asshole as a way of flirting, Tim is an asshole to get you to hate him. If you just despise him, his feelings should technically go away as well, so that's what he's aiming at. He already has enough problems in his life, a "silly little crush" (as he calls it) isn't another one that he needs or wants to deal with. Again, if you want things to go further, you'll have to take matters into your own hands.
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꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Hoodie
Smooth ass motherfucker. Like Masky, knows what the feelings are right away, but has no fear in acting on them. And he's super fucking good at it. He sees love as one of the many pleasures of life, something meant to be enjoyed, so he's not going to shy away from it. He'll shower you in every love language known to man, this guy absolutely knows what he's doing. He's not even insecure that you might reject him, he knows he's a catch and you know what? He's not wrong. So it won't take him long at all to confess in the most chill but romantic way possible, like it's not even a big deal (which, to him, really isn't).
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