#and i lived on campus then. now i live elsewhere and have to take care of my own meals. i think i'll waste away if i try to do all that

[supercantaloupe]

mm i don't know if i'll get to practice tonight...

[johnbrand]

Joining the Flock

Trying something different, please enjoy

With @henrypreppy

JD flipped the meeting invitation back and forth between his hands, the thin paper material an illusion to the actual weight its writing held. He could not believe he had actually agreed to this, let alone thinking about following through with it. It was not like his parents would have ever known. JD could lie about the entire ordeal and get away with it. But now he was officially registered for the first meeting of the year, his name practically carved into stone.

“Hey there, sorry I don’t mean to interrupt.”

JD rotated his head to the door, eyeing down the black-haired freshman standing patiently at the door. Slim, lanky, and could use tweezers, but by his posture JD could already discern that he was a casual fellow.

“I’m assuming you're Michael Freedman?”

“Mike will do,” Mike grinned. “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’m assuming you’re my roommate?”

JD stood up and extended his hand. “You got it, I'm JD.”

The physical exchange allowed for their first day jitters to transmit like a frequency between them.

“JD huh, is that a nickname?”

JD did his best to hold back his embarrassment. “It’s short for Jeremiah Delgado.”

Mike’s eyebrows rose, “A little bit of a mouthful.”

“You should hear it with the middle names,” JD quipped. “It’s what you get when you combine a Hispanic father and Biblically-obsessed mother.”

“Then no wonder you stick to JD,” Mike replied.

Taking a seat back on his bed, JD decided to steer the conversation elsewhere. “When did you move in? I didn’t see you this morning when I’d hauled everything up those four flights of stairs.”

Mike chuckled, “Perks of the top floor right? I assume I moved in right after you left. You’re not a clean freak or anything, are you?”

“God no,” JD answered, the tone shift catching him off guard. “I don’t have time to care about stuff like that.” JD had already picked up on Mike’s disorganization when he had arrived back at the dorm. It was a bit of a shock to see the place had already become a lived-in pigsty, even though they had just moved in. But JD truly did not mind the clutter, he was a bit on the uncleanly side too. Speaking of which, he realized he had forgotten to get a haircut before he left. The dullish chestnut mop was reaching shoulder-length now; JD was a bit curious to see what would happen if he let it grow even longer.

“Sorry if that was a bit blunt,” Mike plopped onto his own bed. “I just saw the invitation and I was curious.”

“The…?” JD paused, before picking up on what Mike was referring to. “Oh this? No sorry, it was pushed onto me at the club fair.”

The event had been just short of organized chaos. Practically a hundred booths had filled the auditorium, each of them advertising different clubs that the freshman could get involved with. Student Council, the Events Commission, even the CIA (which JD learned stood for “Chemists In Action”). He had been casually browsing, the only thing minorly interesting to him being the Pride organization, but somehow had accidentally strolled in front of the wrong stall.

“Looking to join the Campus Ministry?”

The man calling out to JD was rather put-together, probably the only person in the entire event showcasing a three-piece suit. As JD approached cautiously–hoping the man would not grab any more attention then he already had–he was able to inspect the stranger a little further. Late thirties, athletic, a ring on his finger and of average flair. He was not JD’s type, but he could still appreciate that the man held some appealing characteristics.

The man introduced himself as soon as JD drew close enough. “My name’s Peter, I’m the Campus Minister.”

JD replied accordingly, loathing his luck. He had chosen a college as far away from his parents and their strict lifestyle as possible, and yet now here he was, conversing with the very people who abided by their same morals and guidelines.

“Well Jeremiah, are you inclined to learn more about the mission of the Baptist Church?”

Wincing at the use of his full name, JD replied, “I actually grew up Baptist, but I’ve grown away from the faith since.” As soon as the words left his mouth, JD realized his mistake.

“Well you have come to the right place!” Peter exclaimed, a bit too over joyous. “The Campus Ministry is welcome to all, especially those returning to God’s graces.”

Before JD could protest, Peter had already handed him the formal invitation and written his name on the sign-up form. “The meeting is tonight, you won’t miss it!”

“I can’t believe you got sucked into that crap!” Mike was laughing after JD had finished replaying the scene for him. “Are you really planning on going?”

“I mean I have to, right? They’ve got me signed up.”

Mike shrugged, “It’s up to you man, but you don’t have a lot of time to decide.”

JD quickly eyed the invitation and then his phone and realized Mike was right. If he was going to make this meeting, he would have to leave now.

“Crap!”

———

By the time he got to the chapel, he had worked up quite the sweat. JD was not an active person, and as he entered the building, he realized he was also not properly dressed. Everyone else adorned their Sunday bests, some even more formal. The button-ups and slacks were a complete contrast to his own indie band tee and distressed jeans. JD shamefully placed himself in the back pew, hoping no one would notice the black sheep.

“Mind if I sit here, brother?”

JD obliged without acknowledging the stranger, cursing to himself as Peter ascended to the podium at the front of the chapel.

“Brothers and Sisters, I want to welcome you all to our first meeting of the year. As the Campus Minister, it is an honor to be able to guide you in our journey together, and with your trust lead you on the path towards God.”

All the members of the group came together to a round of applause. 

“Let me make one thing clear right away, brothers and sisters,” Peter began assuredly. “At the heart of the Campus Ministry is community. God did not create us to live alone in isolation. He specifically designed us to live together as like-minded beings. To thrive in Biblical communities where people who love Jesus Christ can enjoy fellowship with one another. To help each other grow in the faith, to become more alike. To learn from each other, incorporate a need for each other. God uses others to help us grow individually, and God uses us to grow other people.”

“I am reminded of a verse from Matthew 18:20: ‘For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.’ It is here that Jesus calls us to be sheep, His sheep, flocking under His name in likeness and in aspiration to fulfill His teachings. As a Biblical community, we find ourselves in Jesus. He is our center point, what draws us together, the common bond that we share. And as Baptists, we find ourselves following our shepherd, assimilating as one when we name ourselves a member of His church.”

“So why is community at the heart of the Campus Ministry? Whether you are eighteen-, nineteen-, twenty- or more-years-old, you came here searching for guidance. Guidance to tell you where to go, what to do, who to follow. Guidance found through relationships, through our collective relationship with God and His church. The Campus Ministry offers that guidance and more. Our community of brothers and sisters will help you navigate classes, properly study, and make wise decisions. They will eat with you, spend time with you, bring you into the fold, our flock, no matter what former walk of life. They will help you embody the classic look of a Christian.”

“Now, I would like to invite you to embrace that first step towards community. Take a moment and turn to your neighbor, introduce yourself to your new brother or sister.”

Finding himself slightly absorbed by Peter’s sermon, JD broke out of his haze to finally acknowledge the stranger he had allowed to sit beside him. However, JD found himself rendered speechless by the beautiful man before him. With coppery hair, a diamond-cut jaw, and inviting green eyes, JD gawked a second too long at his traditional counterpart. Pairing pleated trousers with a crimson sweater vest over a simple white button-up, the stranger exuded refinement. From his Ivy League haircut to his natural woodsy smell and even by the way the stranger sat, JD could feel heat rising from his own cheeks.

“Jackson Sanderson,” the stranger offered, and after a uncharacteristic stutter JD replied with his own.

JD was then introduced to other members of the club as they came around to introduce themselves. There was a Colton, a Bryce, a Jared, a Stanley. Eventually the names and faces began to blur together, each of them almost identical to each other. Attractive by traditional standards, reeking of arrogance and privilege. JD found himself almost unable to hide his large erection, loathing his existence. It was times like these he wished not to be “blessed” as his father had once grotesquely put it.

After everyone had returned to their seats, Peter finished his monologue. “Before you realize it, each and every one of you will become bonded through our Campus Ministry. It may not happen right away, but once you begin to know each other, you will begin to shape each other too. Now, let us end in prayer.”

———

JD’s first day of classes flashed by in an instant. Undecided, his schedule was mostly filled with the required objectives. A standard biology course, base level statistics, even a communications class–all of which had no actual assignments for the day besides reading the syllabus. But by the late afternoon after his final seminar, JD found himself ready for a lazy evening. He drafted plans involving picking up fast food, watching an episode or ten of some raunchy sitcom, and then drifting off to bed.

“Jeremiah!” 

The minister’s assertive baritone cut through JD’s headphones, which were slowly lowered to passive-aggressively demonstrate his annoyance.

“I wanted to thank you for coming to the first Campus Ministry meeting last night,” Peter explained as he approached. Today, he was dressed in a brown suit with a pattern meant for a man twice his age. “I was hoping to discuss some other things as well. Have a moment?”

Reluctantly, JD obliged, and soon he was following Peter to his office. Once inside, JD was able to discern a bit more about this man who had strangely taken an interest in him. Basic wooden cross on the wall, pile of materials on theology beside the desk, a picture of a woman around the minister’s age holding three children. JD accepted the seat in front of the desk, hoping this would not take long.

“Seeing the instantaneous bond that we have created over the past 24 hours,” JD restrained his eyebrow from visually questioning this statement. “I took it upon myself to become your academic counselor. As your minister, it’s my role to offer you structure and guidance during these impressionable years.”

JD was a bit startled by this statement, but said nothing.

Peter continued, “I’ve already taken a gander at your schedule and noticed all gen-eds. As you are undecided, I was curious if you had any majors you had in mind.”

“Not particularly,” JD answered, finding himself a little more relaxed. “I was hoping I wouldn’t have to think about it until a bit later, honestly.”

Peter’s direct eye contact intensified slightly. “Maybe it would be best to spread out your electives and place you in some courses designed to determine a major. Considering your passion for the faith, you could look into some classes in the Religion Department.”

JD found the minister’s wording a bit odd, almost belittling in a way. His response came out a bit muddled, “I never said that I had a passion for the faith?”

“Well, Jeremiah, I think it could do you a lot of good. As the Campus Minister, I’d be happy to offer you some additional resources as well.”

“‘Resources’?”

“Of course,” Peter’s face broke out into a big grin. “I’ll connect you with one of our students in the department. I have one in mind already, a sophomore: Jackson Sanderson.”

A blush broke out onto JD’s face. He could not perceive if the minister had noticed it or not.

“Jackson is one of our finest men,” Peter resumed. “You will immediately find him as a brother, perhaps one of your closest. After a while, you will feel the desire to emulate him, as he has the classic look of a Christian.”

Again, JD noted the strange diction, and a repeat of a phrase he had heard last night. But JD also noticed that he felt a certain calm when he listened to Peter. His voice just had a quality that kept one at ease. That was probably why he had become a minister.

“I’ll notify Jackson to get in contact with you shortly.” Peter then took a stand, prompting JD to do the same. “Until then, let’s begin thinking about your major and where we’d like to see you next semester. And further along, when you graduate.”

———

Jackson reached out to JD hours later, and after a bit of texting JD found himself roped into a study session the following day. He did not know what to expect, but he decided to put his best foot forward. Sure, he had no desire to engage with the church after his high school graduation, but JD rationalized that he could still be there to make friends.

“Jeremiah!” Jackson called out from one of the pews. He was surrounded by a swarm of men, all wearing outfits appropriate for more conservative times. JD had prepared for this, although his khakis and short-sleeved button-up still did not fit the bill.

“It’s JD,” JD corrected politely. “Thank you for letting me crash your guys’ study group.”

“Of course!” one of the men replied. JD should have known his name, but the person’s features were almost unrecognizable from the next. “Any brother is welcome to join.”

“Especially once Peter told us you were enrolling in the Religion Department,” Jackson added.

“I’m not enrolling in the Religion Department.”

“We get it, you’re ‘just interested’,” a second man insisted, to which everyone else began to chuckle as if he were referring to some inside joke.

“Anyway, don’t worry about it.” Jackson replied. The smooth quality of Jackson’s tenor settled JD’s nerves. “Let’s get to studying, shall we?”

The group agreed and promptly found themselves absorbed in their literature. While JD stuck to his reading and recording notes, the other men held a shallow conversation: one that any person could easily flow in and out of without paying too much attention. It began with simple topics at first; professors, extracurriculars, sports. None of these would typically entice JD, but he found himself occasionally tuning into the group’s monotonous channel. Eventually however, the topics converged into a singular subject: the Bible.

“I just think John’s interpretation is by far superior to the synoptic gospels,” Colton countered. JD could not believe he had remembered his name. “His use of monological writing is what makes Jesus more engaging to the interpreter.”

Jackson shook his head, “That may be true, but the synoptic gospels offer parables, short stories that people can relate too.” Jackson’s presence was different now then when they had first met. Before, frankly, JD had taken eroticism from Jackson’s standardized beauty. But now, he sensed something else. Rather than affection, JD recognized admiration.

“Enlighten us, Jackson, what parables can you relate to,” Bryce teased. “If we looked under your bed, would we find oil? As we already know you are a virgin.”

All of the men, including Jackson and JD, took joy in that remark.

“Perhaps you will, perhaps you won’t,” Jackson finally replied. “But take our group for example, are we not fulfilling a parable right now? I would situate ourselves in the story of the Prodigal Son.” Jackson motioned to his peers, “Are we not the father?” And then to just JD, “And is Jeremiah not the Prodigal Son?”

The group pondered this thought, turning expectantly towards JD for an answer.

“Um…” JD stumbled, not expecting to be put on the spot. “I mean, that’s one way to look at it.”

Once again, the group exploded into laughter, their volume ascending to the roof of the chapel. JD chuckled along too, his nervousness fading as he became more comfortable with the group. By the end of the night, he found himself pleasantly surprised as he accepted the invitation to the next study session.

———

“Hey dude, are you interested in going clubbing?” Mike asked, having just exited the shower.

“When are you thinking of going?” JD was reorganizing his desk. For some reason, its cluttered nature had begun to bother him.

“In a few minutes here, hopefully.” Mike dropped the towel on the floor and grabbed some clothes off his bed. He gave a strong sniff to each item inspected, those too dirty were then tossed onto the floor. JD observed this but said nothing.

“Man, sorry but I can’t. I got a study group tonight.”

“On a Friday night?” Mike questioned. “This is like the fourth Friday in a row.”

“I know, but I already said I was going to be there.”

Mike frowned, scratching at his lower regions a bit. JD swiftly averted his eyes. “But don’t you study with these guys three times a week, and have lunch with them everyday too?”

“Yeah, but they purposely choose Friday nights to not be tempted,” JD finally answered.

The partially-answering statement held in the air for an awkward moment. Eventually, Mike responded. “Right…”

JD turned back to his task at hand, throwing out trash that should have been discarded earlier.

“Well,” Mike grabbed a jacket and his keys. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Uh huh,” JD’s response was dull. Once Mike shut the door, he released the long breath that he had subconsciously been holding. He wondered when Mike’s presence had become so taxing. Perhaps he compared his roommate to the study group’s austere quality. JD found those straight-laced men ironically soothing.

This theory was proven once JD arrived into the chapel, the smiling faces of his peers sending a warm tingle across his body. The study session went similar to the rest, beginning with actual work before simply devolving into lighthearted, yet engaging discussions. If these conversations were not surrounding the Bible, then they focused on a topic JD was even less familiar with. 

“I think I’m going to propose to Hannah,” Jared suddenly said, to which everyone in the group audibly gasped.

“Are you ready, brother?” Jackson inquired, to which JD nodded along. 

“He’s already got the ring,” Stanley answered. Weeks ago, this development would have shocked JD. Two twenty-year-olds marrying in this day and age? But now, the thought was not that unfathomable to him. He was becoming more accustomed to the men's ideology.

“I booked reservations for her favorite restaurant,” Jared announced, his typical stale manner of speaking almost giddy. Almost. “I’ll pop the question before dessert of course, it’s all arranged.”

To that, the men applauded Jared, shaking his hand vigorously and giving brotherly pats on the back. JD high-fived him, embracing the honest excitement for Jared. Once they cooled down, Colton continued the conversation.

“Now you’ve got me inspired, thinking I should finally pop the question to Mary.”

“You’ve been thinking about doing that since you first met her in private school,” Bryce retorted.

“And have you not pondered the same with Julia, brother?” Jackson smirked, to which the other men piggy-backed off of. “Speaking of women, have you set your sights on any yet, Jeremiah?”

JD blinked, unbothered by the use of his full name, “Uh…not exactly. I just haven’t  been looking for anyone I guess.” 

JD was telling the truth. Before college, he had planned on finally finding a male partner to love and hold. And to lose his virginity to. But since the first day of classes, JD had not felt a connection to any male in particular on campus–or in general. JD assumed his sex drive had been lowered, that he was just growing out of some awkward teenage phase.

“Perhaps we’ll have to set you up then,” Jared’s grin held an impish edge. “I believe Jessica is still looking for a potential husband.”

Jackson shot Jared a glare, to which all the other men hollered at. “Jessica is only a freshman.”

“And so is Jeremiah,” Stanley pointed out. JD tried his best to stay quiet, although he had to admit that he was having fun too.

“We’ll see if Jeremiah proves to be everything the minister has promised,” Jackson offered. “After all, Jessica will only take a man who has that classic look of a Christian.”

———

“Jeremiah! Thank you for meeting with me again. Please, take a seat.”

JD followed the instruction, placing himself on the other side of the minister’s desk.

“Already halfway through your first semester, isn’t that unbelievable?” Peter started.

“It certainly is,” JD’s response was friendly. “Can’t believe two months have already flown by.”

“I can’t believe it either, but I can see it,” Peter noted. “I’m assuming you’ve been having meals with your other brothers?”

“They’ve got me going to the gym now too,” JD sighed. “An hour every morning before class since last week.” 

JD had been dining regularly with his study group, at lunch and dinner and even the occasional breakfast. And since this habit had begun, JD found himself eating like his peers too. No more ramen and late night fast food deliveries. Fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins were now the major facets of his diet, leading to his cleaner skin and an overall healthier glow. It was strange at first to recognize how much of a difference this better diet–and as of recently the exercise–had improved his body. JD found himself a bit more muscular, a bit more jovial, and overall more energized.

“That’s not surprising, our men do like to stay in proper form, physically and spiritually,” Peter chuckled. “Speaking of which, last we talked, you had discussed that you were contemplating committing to a major in the Religion Department. Have you thought more on that topic?”

JD considered this for a moment, not remembering if that was what he had actually said or not. But something about the minister’s confident tone assured him that Peter was correct. That was why he had come to this college after all, as his parents had approved of the strong Baptist connection. At least, to appease their wishes.

“A little bit I guess,” JD replied, causing Peter to grin. JD at first thought of it as smug, but then corrected the thought to Peter simply being excited for him. “I mean I’ve attended all four of the Campus Ministry events so far, and being around the guys has certainly been an influence.”

“A positive influence,” Peter amended.

“Yeah…a positive influence,” JD slowly repeated back, before coming back to speed. “As of right now though, I’m still undecided on it all.” Peter carefully leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs out a bit to accommodate. It was almost like the minister was trying to size him up, assert a bit more control.

“You are apprehensive because you still identify yourself as an outsider to our community.” Peter’s response was measured, continuous yet firm with every word laid out. “One thing that can be addressed is your attire. At the material level, you will follow the direction of your peers.”

JD tried to process this, although his brain felt a little hazy. “That might help, yeah.”

“That is something that can be addressed too, your intonation.” There was a particular glint in Peter’s eye, but JD found it easier to focus on the minister’s voice. “Just like your brothers, your inflection will remain in control and moderated. Your pitch will remain even and your vocabulary will become more refined.”

“Certainly.” While just one word, each syllable had required additional effort to come forth from JD’s mouth. The colorless articulation however obscured this exertion.

“It’s good that you’re taking my advice, Jeremiah,” Peter affirmed. “You have placed your trust in me to lead you on the path towards God.”

JD did not know if this was true before, but after Peter had said it, it felt as such.

“You will want nothing more than to become a part of our community,” Peter finalized. “I’ll inform Jackson of such, and he’ll help you along.”

———

JD stepped out of the bathroom, steam pouring out from behind him. He had never taken such a long and luxurious shower but it had felt so right. Jackson had recommended it, saying it was the best way to get rid of any excess hair that may have stuck to his skin after visiting the barber. He could not see it now, but JD already loved the shortened cut on his head. Once it was dried, the sides would naturally fall into a tight bowl-like shape. Then, JD would have the pleasure of applying the product–prescribed by Jackson–to fluff his bangs up into a traditional, conservative quiff. A proper style for a gentleman like himself.

In nothing but a towel, JD peered cautiously around the room. All alone, he allowed himself to freely disdain his roommate’s messy style. He had remained civil around the topic with Mike, but had secretly grown to loathe it. JD knew better than to say anything however, as that would have been pompous. Carefully placing his feet into open spots on the floor, JD tip-toed his way to his dresser, surprised to find a small note taped to the drawer.

A final gift, the classic look of a Christian -JS

Not thinking twice about the phrase, JD was surprised to find his boxers had been replaced with starchy, high-waisted white briefs. But his confusion quickly dissolved into recognition before fading into a simple, charming smile. The cotton fabric went up and over each of his legs in a matter of moments, the traditional cut making JD feel grounded somehow. Controlled.

Turning to face the mirror, it was almost shocking for JD to see the new reflection of himself. Only weeks away from the end of his first semester and the man before him was much different than the boy who had come to campus. Tanner, more muscular, an image of young masculinity. But those were explainable thanks to his improved diet and exercise. Other factors, like his wider jaw, broader shoulders, and inched-back hairline, were not as identifiable. JD questioned if it was incoming maturity, or perhaps something else.

Before he could reflect on the thought further, his body mechanically moved along to his wardrobe. A rack once filled with tees and crewnecks was now stuffed by dress shirts, vests, and blazers of assorted varieties. Tamer colors and patterns, only distinguishable to the distinguished eye. The rest of JD’s dresser now contained a variety of slacks, along with many different types of dress socks and ties. Loafers, oxfords, brogues among others sat in alphabetical order at the bottom. It was practical, and practically perfect.

When his peers had first offered to makeover his closet, JD had been apprehensive. Something in the back of his mind rang an alarm, whispering that he would also be sacrificing a part of his individuality. But JD’s body had decided for him in that moment, his head nodding in approval and with an amiable grin. And now after the swap, which JD later learned was in part financed by the Campus Ministry, he realized there was nothing he should have been afraid of.

After all, all of the brothers were remarkably different. Colton rocked a business cut with his blond hair, a style no one else had. Bryce had the most suits of the five, almost as many as their minister. Jared was the only one officially engaged (although JD predicted that fact would not last much longer. Stanley had his thick, time-honored black horned rims. And Jackson held his affinity for sweater vests, a Bonafede professional at styling them. They were truly all unique.

Quickly assembling his hair and a tasteful outfit–a white button-up, French navy-hued trousers, a currant colored tie and chocolatey derbies for his feet–JD assembled his school bag and made haste for the chapel. When he arrived, it was only Jackson awaiting him in the pews. The others had gone out to grab a quick meal.

“Jeremiah! I was beginning to think you wouldn’t make it,” Jackson nudged as JD took a seat beside him in the pew.

“You know I would not miss our study sessions for the world, brother!” JD’s rebuttal was chipper and authentic. Since Mike’s first proposal of clubbing, the offer has never been made again. But JD had received other invitations for outings with his fellow peers. However, none of them were ever accepted. To JD, it always felt more appropriate to stick to his group. Their presence felt familiar, grounded. Right.

“‘They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship’,” Jackson started. “‘to the breaking of bread and to prayer.’” 

“‘And all the believers were together and had everything in common.’” JD finished.

“The Book of Acts, I’m impressed,” Jackson smirked. “I now understand why Peter was so serious about you.”

JD should have questioned what Jackson was referring to, but instead sunk into the warm glow of his brother’s approval.

“But there’s still one thing you have to do,” Jackson noted.

JD’s heartbeat hastened rapidly, something he had not expected.

“You have got to come to church with us!”

JD felt a glimmer of hesitancy. He had not gone to church since he had come to college. He tried to remember why, but a subtle pain clouded his thoughts. Was it because of his parents? No, they just wanted what was best for him. Then was it because JD did not feel accepted by the church? JD tried to follow that thread, but the deeper he ventured, the stronger the ache in his head became.

“Come on, what have you got to lose?” Jackson gave JD a playful shove. “Plus, the minister will be giving a blessing to all students before finals.”

Something was telling JD to reconsider. Something urged him to do otherwise. But JD could not figure out what was so wrong about attending a simple service.

“Alright, I’ll go.”

Jackson’s perfect smile was wider than JD had ever seen it. “That’s it, brother! Then you’ll be just like us.”

That statement triggered something in JD. As if following out a code downloaded into his vital operating systems, he made a note to schedule an appointment with his academic counselor.

———

“What can I help you with today, Jeremiah?” 

Unlike the composed minister sitting before him, JD was irritable, prickly. Words were begging to escape his mouth, although he could not figure out what they were. He tried to express them as best he could.

“I want to become a part of the Campus Ministry, a part of your Biblical community.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I want to be another sheep in the flock.”

A small smile tugged at one corner of Peter’s lip. “In other words, you are saying…”

The words flew out JD’s mouth: “I want to embody the classic look of a Christian. I want to fit in.”

That heavy, revealing truth tumbled before the two men, its release absolving JD of a burden unaware to him had been accumulating for months. Ever since his first meeting with the minister.

“It’s much easier to be just another piece of the puzzle, Jeremiah,” Peter began. “Never having to worry about anything else when you have a place to belong.”

The minister reached into his desk and pulled open a drawer, removing a small folder with JD’s name on it. Opening it, Peter pulled out a single sheet of paper and placed it in front of him. JD’s eyes scanned the page before focusing back on Peter’s own.

“Your schedule that I have already drafted up for the next semester,” Peter replied, grabbing a pen. “You will join the Religion Department as a Theology major with a minor in Baptist Ministries. After graduation, you will continue your studies to receive a Masters of Divinity. By then, my proselytization will no longer be necessary as you will have become a permanent traditionalist.”

JD knew better than to say anything. Instead, he let his actions speak for him, his hand accepting the pen from Peter and with a delicate cursive, signing his name.

“Welcome to the flock, Jeremiah.”

———

“A healthy Christian learns and grows through community. A healthy Christian experiences spiritual and relational growth when surrounded by an affirming group of like-minded believers. Jesus spent a significant amount of time with his small group, the apostles, molding them and teaching them how to love and support one another and how to function as a healthy small group. Today, we do the same for our brothers and our sisters.”

Jeremiah sat in the front row next to Jackson, Colton, Bryce, Jared, and Stanley. The group was expertly dressed. Jeremiah’s baby blue button-up was paired with a matching tie underneath his charcoal suit. The tie, with cornflower polka dots on top of a banana cream yellow, was particularly chosen for its “vibrant and exciting pattern,” as Jeremiah had thought of it. Along with caramel wing tips that coupled nicely with his soft yet stiff quiff, Jeremiah felt dignified by his outfit. 

“It’s great to be part of a healthy, well-functioning group,” the preacher, an older, handsomely well-off man by the name of Dr. Ernest Holloway, continued. “However, our individual wishes can sometimes interfere with the overarching needs of the congregation. For our Christian community to remain intact, we need to come before God with an earnest desire to help others, and therefore maintain the needs of the group to truly experience the richness and glory of His intentions.”

“Being in a group is committing to one another by saying, ‘I want to laugh with you, share with you, study with you, and pray with you’.” Taking a deep breath, the doctor made his closing statement. “Being in a group is saying, 'All I want is to be like you’. Amen.”

“Amen,” Jeremiah and the congregation replied. The rest of the service went by quickly, and before Jeremiah knew it, he had finished singing the final verse of the closing hymn. Soon, the church was bursting with lively energy. Joyful conversations broke out between the Baptist brothers and sisters, nobody in a hurry towards the exit. Jeremiah found himself in a similar manner, following behind his peers as they sauntered their way towards the door.

As Jeremiah followed Jackson outside of the church, a young female voice rang out from behind them. “Well look at these fine, upstanding, proper young men!”

The pair turned around, now outside, to see who had beckoned them. Jeremiah caught the eye of the young lady, her coppery hair and conservative sense of style somehow familiar to him. 

“Both of you are so dandy and traditional,” she remarked. “A classic look for a Christian.”

“Jeremiah,” Jackson sighed. “This is my younger sister, Jessica.”

It took Jeremiah a moment to compose himself, a bit of scarlet peppering his cheeks. His hand nervously shot forward. “J…Jeremiah Joshua Manuel Delgado…nice to make your a...acquaintance.”

Jessica accepted his greeting. “I’ve never had quite this effect on one of your friends before,” she smiled to Jackson. “I think he fancies me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself so, Jessica,” Jackson denied. But all three of them knew Jessica was telling the truth. Jeremiah had gone nonverbal, the blood from his brain redirected to another destination. There was a tingling sensation around Jeremiah's genitals, his member slowly inflating. It was times like these that he was thankful to have “not been blessed” as his father once put it. If his package had been larger, there surely would have been an indecent scene.

Jeremiah knew what he had to do. With all the strength he could muster, he drew the only words he could think of to his mouth. His perfect jaw shifted, heavy brow furrowed, and he forced the sole sentence out of his mouth.

“Jessica Sanderson, will you marry me?”

———

“JD…Jeremiah, is that you?”

Jeremiah had finally grabbed the remainder of his items, the last bags of his belongings ready to go. Mike was standing at the door, blocking his path.

“Where are you going?”

Jeremiah scoffed, disapproving of Mike's irregular radicalism. “Somewhere that is cleaner, fresher, prim and proper. Somewhere where I can remain a dignified man dedicated to preserving tradition and culture in this world. If I am to embody the classic look of a Christian, then I ought to do so with like-minded brothers.”

Confused, not only by the fancified words but by his roommate’s overall preppification during their first semester, Mike asked a simple question. “Why?”

With a pleasant smile, Jeremiah handed over a small sheet of paper. He then exited the dorm, leaving Mike to flip the Campus Ministry’s invitation back and forth between his own hands and consider the harm of attending just one meeting.

[floresierss]

ೃ⁀➷ JUST FOR ME - hong seunghan x reader

WORD COUNT : 1.6k

TAGS 🏷️ : fluff, slow burn, university setting

AUTHORS NOTE : hello i’m alive, i’ll try to regularly post, i took a break and i hope you can see the improvement in my writing skills!! i have something very special coming up soon so look out for that,, feel free to send any asks or questions! :3. anyways this is pretty much based off of ‘just for me’ by pinkpantheress, enjoy!

────────────────────────

7:45 AM

The SMU campus was alive with its usual morning chaos: students bustling to class, bikes weaving through the crowds, and the sun casting a soft golden glow over the quad. You adjusted your bag strap, taking a careful sip of your coffee as you made your way across campus.

As you passed the library, your mind wandered to Seunghan. You’d seen him yesterday in the library, laughing with his friends—Sungchan, Shotaro, Sohee, Eunseok, Anton, and Wonbin. His smile was bright and genuine, lighting up the space around him, and for a moment, you’d been so caught up in the sound of his laughter that you forgot where you were.

You never spoke to him. Why would he notice you? He was always surrounded by his friends, laughing and chatting with such ease. Yet, something about him lingered in your thoughts, and before you knew it, you were daydreaming about what it would be like to have one of those easy conversations with him.

“My diary’s full of your name on every page,” you muttered under your breath, your heart fluttering at the thought. It wasn’t something you liked to admit, but Seunghan had found his way into your daydreams far too often recently.

10:30 AM

The library was a haven of peace during the mid-morning hours. You sat by the large windows, your laptop open and your notebook beside it, though your attention was far from the research paper you were supposed to be working on. You had no choice but to stare at the empty page before you.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, but your thoughts were elsewhere. The campus newsletter was still open on your screen from earlier. You had barely paid attention to it, but something caught your eye now—Spring Music Festival Lineup Announced!

Seunghan’s band. Riize.

A slow smile crept across your face as you clicked the link, scanning the details about the lineup. You’d heard Seunghan mention his band in passing during class. He’d joked about how they were still working on their setlist, but you had never imagined they would perform at such a major event.

You were practically buzzing with excitement. The idea of hearing him perform live, of seeing him do what he loved, made your heart race.

“I’ll try and try again—one day, you’ll see,” you whispered to yourself, your fingers typing the RSVP link for the event without a second thought.

12:30 PM

You hadn’t expected to see Seunghan on your way out of the library, but there he was, standing by the door. His bag was slung casually over his shoulder, and he was speaking to Sungchan and Eunseok, laughing in that easy way of his.

You hesitated for a moment, your heart picking up speed. Would he even remember you from that brief conversation last week? Probably not. You’d barely exchanged a few words, and you were sure it wasn’t anything special.

But then, to your surprise, Seunghan’s gaze found yours. He smiled, and the moment felt like it stretched in time.

“Hey, are you heading to class?” he asked, his voice light.

“Uh, yeah,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady. “Music theory.”

“Me too,” he said with a grin. “Mind if I walk with you?”

Your heart skipped a beat. “Sure,” you said, trying to sound casual.

You both started walking toward the music building.

“I’ve never seen you around much,” he said, after a beat. “Are you new to this class?”

You nodded, feeling the butterflies stir in your stomach. “Yeah, I transferred here last semester.”

“Cool,” he said, his tone genuine. “How are you liking it?”

“It’s… challenging,” you said, smiling. “But in a good way. I didn’t think it would be so intense.”

Seunghan nodded. “Yeah, I get that. I almost didn’t make it through last semester myself.” He laughed lightly. “But you’ll get the hang of it. And if you ever need help with anything—music-related, of course—I’m happy to help.”

You smiled, trying to hide the rush of warmth in your chest. “Thanks. That’s really nice of you.”

“So, you’ve got the Spring Music Festival on your radar, right?” Seunghan asked after a few moments.

You blinked, surprised. “Yeah, actually, I just RSVP’d this morning.”

His smile grew wider. “Great! I’m really excited for it. It’ll be our first big performance as Riize.”

You nodded enthusiastically. “I’m sure it’s going to be amazing.”

“Thanks,” Seunghan said, looking at you with a soft smile. “It means a lot.”

As you walked into the building together, you couldn’t help but feel a little more hopeful than usual. Maybe this was the beginning of something. You didn’t know what, but there was a connection—however small—that had been formed, and it made your heart race in a way you couldn’t explain.

4:03 PM

The campus café was bustling with students, the smell of coffee filling the air as you sat at your usual spot in the corner, trying to focus on your song. Your notebook was open in front of you, but your mind wandered as it always did when Seunghan was involved.

It had been hours since your brief conversation, but you kept replaying it over and over in your head. The sound of his voice, the way he smiled at you—everything about it felt so effortless.

You sighed, tapping your pen against the table, trying to push the thoughts aside.

That was when Seunghan walked in, his familiar face lighting up when he saw you.

“Hey,” he greeted, his voice warm. “Mind if I sit here? It’s packed.”

“Of course,” you said, your heart skipping a beat as he pulled out a chair and sat across from you.

He leaned back, glancing at your notebook. “What are you working on?”

You hesitated, unsure how much to share. “Just… a song,” you said, your cheeks turning warm. “It’s nothing special, though.”

Seunghan raised an eyebrow. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

Your heart raced, but you smiled. “It’s just a work in progress.”

He grinned. “Well, I’d love to hear it sometime. You know, if you’re comfortable with that.”

You met his gaze, feeling a warmth spread through you. “Maybe.”

7:00 PM

You had just finished dinner when you received a message from Seunghan. It was a text asking if you were still going to the Spring Music Festival.

“Yes, definitely! I’m really looking forward to it.” You quickly typed back.

“Awesome. Maybe we can meet up after the show?”

Your fingers hesitated above your phone as your heart raced. Meet up? You quickly typed back: “Sure, I’d love that.”

As soon as you hit send, you felt a flutter in your chest. What was happening?

9:15 PM

The small concert hall was packed with excited students, all eagerly waiting for the Spring Music Festival to begin. You had found a seat in the middle of the crowd, your nerves growing with each passing second.

When the lights dimmed, the crowd went wild. The stage lit up, and there they were—Riize. Seunghan was front and center, his black hoodie a contrast to the colorful lights flashing behind him.

His eyes scanned the crowd briefly, and for a brief moment, it felt like his gaze landed on you. You froze, your heart thudding in your chest.

The band started playing, and the crowd erupted into cheers. The music filled the air, each note making your heart beat faster. Seunghan’s voice was smooth and rich, carrying through the auditorium with ease. He was in his element, effortlessly commanding the stage.

It was hard to focus on anything else as you watched him perform. His smile, his energy—it was magnetic. You couldn’t help but admire him more with each passing song.

11:00 PM

As the performance ended, the crowd roared with applause. You stood with the rest of the audience, clapping and cheering for Riize.

When the band left the stage, you quickly pulled out your phone to check for a message from Seunghan.

seunghan - Hey, want to meet up after the show? :p.

Your heart raced as you typed back:

y/n - absolutely 🫡

A few minutes later, you saw him walk backstage, looking exhausted but happy. Your eyes followed him for a moment before you made your way outside.

Seunghan was standing near the side exit, waiting for you. His smile made your heart do a little flip as he waved you over.

“Hey!” he greeted, his voice still buzzing with excitement from the show. “That was amazing, right?”

You nodded enthusiastically. “You were incredible.”

Seunghan chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Thanks. It means a lot.”

“Of course,” you said softly. “You really have something special.”

“Maybe,” he said, his tone softening. “But it’s more fun with people like you around.”

The moment felt electric, as if the world had narrowed to just the two of you. Your heart raced, and for the first time in a while, you felt truly seen.

1:00 AM

You returned to your dorm, your head spinning from the night’s events. You sat at your desk, staring at the lyrics you had written earlier.

“When you wipe your tears, do you wipe them just for me?” you whispered, thinking back to Seunghan’s smile, his kindness, and the way he had looked at you.

You smiled, closing your notebook and settling into bed, drifting off to sleep with thoughts of Seunghan still swirling in your mind.

[heartfullofleeches]

can we get more Fratbro!Darling interaction with creep!yan? it was amazing

They don't belong here.

Why did they even come.

The ice in their cup has melted from the heat of their skin, but the punch's still too strong to drink. With how shakey their hands are, they'd likely spill it if they tried. People are watching them now - probably wondering who let the freak in. They've been in this situation before. Invited to places because it'd be too awkward to invite everyone in the group but them while most of them pray they'll just stay home. Maybe they should have. The whispers are starting again and they're getting closer. Here it comes-

"Oh, hey! There you are! I've been looking for you since I heard you were here. You got a minute?"

Someone pulls them from the obscurity of the crowd - dragging them into the spotlight on wobbly legs. A strong arm holds them steady as the uncomfortable gaze of their peers swallows them, a gentle squeeze to their bicep negating their rising fears.

"This is the person I was telling you guys about - the one that drew that picture you saw on my lockscreen. I'm telling you, Mickey has crazy talent. I'm glad so we met at that gas station a few weeks back... Would you believe they live right across the street?"

It's pretty obvious that nobody really cares, but enthusiasm is an infectious disease. They do their best to answer half-hearted questions and try even harder to smile. It's hard to fake emotions when your attention is elsewhere. Mickey stares at you, arm still locked around their shoulder, like the beacon of light you are. How did you manage to be so different? When you first met they thought you were just another fake. Someone who pretended to be their friend for whatever benefit it gave. You cared. You tried to get them to be more social and showed up at their apartment when they'd be absent for days. You showed genuine interest in their quirky little hobbies and always laughed with them instead of at them. You even wore the crow skull necklace they made for you. It's like you were already dating.

Your grin falters as you look over at your friend, the clacking of their teeth and goosebumps on their skin catching your attention. "Hey, Mick... Everything okay? You're shaking."

Mickey hides their face in the collar of their jacket. "Yeah.... fine. Don't worry about me."

They jump as your palm touches their forehead.

"Nah, dude - you're like really sweaty. I'll walk you home in the morning, but you should lie down for now."

Mickey starts to protest, but as you weave through the crowd, heading for the stairs - their lips are sealed. They always forget you live with this meatheads despite standing beneath your bedroom window every night. Where you taking then to your room? They can feel stares on them even now, but they feel almost... jealous. Mickey likes that feeling. They squeeze your hand tighter - heart stopping as you approach the door with your name taped to it.

Opening the door just a crack, you make sure no one is inside before leading Mickey in. You take their cup as you guide them to the bed. Your bed. They giggle to themselves as you walk away with their cup, pouring its contents down the sink in the bathroom and filling it with fresh water from the tap. You really were the kindest person they've ever met on campus - like any good spouse would be.

"How much did they give you to drink?.... Just drink this water and relax. Remote's in the bottom drawer if you get bored. I'll be back to check on you in a bit. Don't worry about falling asleep I'll just sleep on the floor or the couch."

Mickey blushes as your fingers graze theirs as you past them the cup, and the image of the two of you cuddled up in your bed. They take a few tiny sips before setting the cup on the table.

"T... thank you... I wouldn't mind if you slept with me. It's your bed afterall."

"True, but I wouldn't want you to be comfortable. Relax, we'll talk about it more when I come check on you. Be back in a few!"

Mickey watches as the door closes behind you. They wait for your steps to fade down the stairs, finger on their zipper as they disappear. Mickey unzips and throws off their jacket like it was restricting their air flow. They drop it to the floor along with their shoes as they crawl beneath your blankets - planting their head face deep in your pillows and sheets. They smell just like the conditioner you use. Mickey makes a mental note to raid your bathroom, but there's so much they want to do in such little time.

Your dirty clothes. Your closest. Your dressers. So many places - so little time. What should they do? What should they do- Steal the fragrances you wear so their room always smells like you? Take your toothbrush or a water bottle you've drank from for their first indirect kiss? Steal a shirt or maybe even your underwear to.... now's not the time for that, Mickey - your window of opportunity is getting shorted with every breath.

Mind racing, Mickey decides the best thing to do now is to claim their new territory. Mark your room as theirs just as their entire apartment has been overtaken by pictures of you and the things you've thrown out. They fish through their jeans for their keys - picking the hidden knife discreetly disguised as a key. Having overprotective parents had its perks - such as items of self defense they'd otherwise be put on a list for buying themselves.

They climb out of bed, crouching to the floor. The gap beneath your bed has just enough room for them to wiggle into. Compared to lockers they'd been shoved into it was like a luxury apartment. They lay flat on their back, dragging themselves below the bedframe - knife in hand. Eyes adjusting to the darkness, their hands search for the boards supporting your mattress and drives their knife into the first place plank their nails catch on - drawing the curve of a heart into the wood. Light bleeds into the room as they complete the second arch and angle their blades for the first letter of their initials, followed by startled gasps and halted flirts at the odd sight of feet beneath your bed.

"Is this room already occupied?"

Mickey clutches their key ring tighter.

"This is our room...... IF YOU'RE NOT GONE IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS I WILL GOUGE YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT AND FEED THEM TO YOU!"

Mickey shrieks in laughter at the sound of slamming doors and footsteps racing down the hall. They've never raised their voice at anyone like that before. Love is a crazy drug. They carve their initials and yours beneath your bed, slithering from the opening and up onto your bed between the sheets for the best night of sleep they've had since they were young.

[boxdstars]

IMPORTANT ANNOUCEMENT

Hello little gay people in my computer (and all others <3), I'm going to be taking an extended break from the fandom. It is not applicable with any recent dramas, I'm terminally out of the loop and also in utter truth, can't be asked to care LMAO.

The reason is much simpler: I have gradually moved on. My brainrot is elsewhere and has been for some good time. Granted, Amara is always on my mind but she's always been devoid from HL canon, I've been more focused on her later arc and devoid from the canon cast entirely. So Amara (and Marie) likers don't worry, it's not as if I'm up and running away altogether.

Additionally, I've just been living on campus. Before, I was in community college and now that I live on suite, I've found myself ridiculously swamped. I have sorority obligations (yeah I'm in one now crazy right haha), academic obligations, and romantic obligations all of which take higher precedence and genuinely have negated a lot of my unhealthier escapist tendencies (BIG WIN).

OKAY boring stuff aside, this blog is not going to be gone for good. I have too many bangers to delete it, and besides HP was and still is a massive part of my life, even if Legacy isn't too much of an interest for me anymore. You'll still see art of Amara, other MC's and the like, but probably more Marauders and Golden Trio era content, as I vastly prefer it over the HL era surprise surprise. But that's whenever I come back.

WHICH I WILL BE, BY THE WAY. I'm not going to go dark and then unceremoniously pop back to life in one weeks time, I'm still here per se, but I'm just too burnt out and too busy even if I wasn't.

Anyways- I have my main multifandom blog (lanabenikosdoormat) which is also slowing down but I still will be active on. My instagram (sodapopsalesguy), and of course all the prexisting fandom discord servers I'm in, which I will not be leaving, this is how I stay up to date on affairs.

Anyways big hugs and kisses to you guys, thank you for everything (this sounds morbid I'm still alive and kicking teehee)

[morganthepen]

so i haven’t been around much to post about the US election results but i’ve processed enough and i’m here now.

to those of you that were surprised or shocked, i was too a little. but looking back on it, Harris did the best she could with what she had, and this isn’t her fault.

Donald Trump won this election because the majority of Americans simply don’t give two fucks about people like us. They care that they can buy eggs and gas without living check to check, and while that’s a valid concern, what they fail to understand is that not only is Trump NOT going to fix the inflation problem, he is going to strip the rights away from anyone who isn’t a cis straight white male or their brainwashed girlfriends/wives. If you voted for Donald Trump in this election, you have chosen a minuscule amount of monetary gain over the lives of hundreds of thousands of people that will be lost during this administration. It’s as simple as that.

Which is why we have to show them that we’re not going anywhere.

Bug the hell out of your representatives when a Republican congress tries to pass legislation that dehumanizes women and trans kids.

Organize. Go to protests in your city or on your campus (or elsewhere) to take a stand for your rights or the rights of those you love.

Look out for the safety of yourself, your family, and your friends. Be anonymous online or just go offline.

And most importantly, fight and don’t give up that fight. We’re not going back.

“Never forget that everything Adolf Hitler did in Germany was legal.”

[lemonsquashhh]

♡TWO♡

(Note: thought I might share chapter 2 cuz it might take a while for chapter 3 to come out because of uni. Please enjoy a very soft Leona Kingscholar in this chapter ehe~ and leave a like if you enjoyed it, it means a lot to me and it helps me stay motivated. Thank you to all those who have taken interest in my story and keep checking this out. I really appreciate you all! （＾ω＾）)

Chapter 1 here

There was one day left before the start of winter break. By now, most students were getting ready to head home for the break. Dorm rooms were being cleaned out and students were ditching class for an early head start into their vacation. Meanwhile, some students preferred to stay back- for instance, a certain cephalopunk and his weird friends.

While most students were busy preparing themselves, I was once again relaxing in the botanical garden. Chiiyuki made me another fresh batch of steamed buns for me to feast upon. I watched her zip around a bush of carnations, checking for droopy leaves or fallen petals. She had a little spray bottle with her that she said “keeps the flowers shining”. Chiiyuki’s presence had kept the flowers lively, even when the other gardeners announced their leave earlier in the month. Chiiyuki told me the flowers grow lonely and complain a lot when people don’t admire them. I scoffed at the notion of flowers having an ego. How could tiny breaths of life have that much of a personality? The thought of me napping in an enclosure full of obnoxious, loquacious flowers irritated me. It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t outright dismiss it since she did claim to be a ‘floral whisperer’. And of course, thankfully I couldn’t hear their chattering.

Speaking of which, since winter break was approaching, I was curious about her plans. I had to assume she was staying on campus. Prior to her arrival, our garden had timed sprinklers programmed to water the plants at specific intervals, so we never had to worry about the flowers dying. That’s not to say she would get to relax along with the students and staff. There was still work to be done. However, it would make her life a bit easier.

I thought back to the culture fair. I recalled the feeling that welled up in my chest as I got to share some of the food from my hometown. A quiet voice in the back of my mind was telling me to tell her more, show her what she was missing out on. There was only so much she could see on the Isle of Sages. Many students and teachers came here from different parts of Twisted Wonderland. Each with their own rich culture, history and traditions. If she wanted to see more, she would have to venture onwards. And what better way to start then with yours truly’s assistance?

My ear twitched. It picked up a soft poof accompanied by soft chimes ringing. Chiiyuki emerged from the smoke in her humanoid size to take a seat beside me. The first few times she transformed in front of me, the dust caught me off guard. After being covered in dust three or so times, I told Chiiyuki to control her transformation elsewhere so she didn’t shock me with the cold. From that conversation onwards, while there have been times when she forgot to transform away from me, for the most part, she has been doing a good job on keeping me dust-free.

“Nice work. The flowers shouldn’t complain about turning dull during the break.” I praised her efforts.

She smiled up at me. “Don’t worry. When you come back, the flowers will still be beautiful.”

My gaze fell to the flower beds in front of us. Chiiyuki had been working hard to take care of all of the plants here. Taking in the kaleidoscopic colours, made me think she must have gained a good understanding of each plant’s needs. For someone who claimed to be talentless from her country of origin, she really had a natural talent in coaxing life. Much like the other staff and students, she too deserved a moment of respite. I knew that for certain, I’ve seen her working hard every time I came here.

I turned my attention back to her. My eyes examined her face, noticing the glimmers of desperation for companionship. Thoughts of inviting her to the Sunset Savanna flooded my memories once more. But since tomorrow would be the day of departure, my stance wavered for a moment. What immediately came to mind was I would have to explain to my family who she is and why I invited her. It’s far too much work to explain the intricacies of Chiiyuki’s unusual situation. I wasn’t one for large family gatherings, but nor was I going to repeat myself to each of my family members…

I pushed that aside to mull over in the back of my head. Aside from that conundrum, I’m certain Chiiyuki would be open to a vacation. She would be satisfied as long as there are enough opportunities to explore the city and maybe even the savanna part itself. Over the past few winter breaks, I normally avoided large gatherings for celebrations. The only time I did, was when Neji or Farena dragged me out of the room for petty small talk with the guest. I’m fairly certain Farena won’t expect me to be around much, so that does give me some time to show Chiiyuki around…

“Are you alright, Leona? You look angry.” Chiiyuki’s soft voice interrupted my thoughts. She had a genuine look of worry all throughout her body. I patted her shoulder gently to let her know I was fine.

“You’re not…worried about returning home, are you?” She asked carefully. The way she spoke reminded me of a herbivore quietly moving in hopes to avoid its prey. There really wasn’t much time to decide if I should invite Chiiyuki to the Sunset Savanna. In my heart I knew I wanted to. Even though I knew it would be a pain to explain the sudden change in plans to my family, I think in the end it could all work out. Maybe I wouldn’t even have to do the talking. I could leave some of it to her…

I shook my head. “Not quite, though it does have to do with home.” My gaze fell upon the flowers yet again.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about the garden. For the past two years they were fine during the break, and they didn’t have anyone watching them.” I said casually. I looked over my shoulder to see a flicker of disappointment crossing Chiiyuki’s face. I instantly felt a pang of guilt in my chest. That wasn’t what I was trying to accomplish. What I wanted to say was that she should relax…and then I could have smoothly asked if she wanted to come back with me.

I sighed. “Relax, what I meant to say was…you should take a proper vacation like the rest of us.”

“Let’s go to the Sunset Savanna. Together.” I stated boldly, wanting my intentions to be clear.

She looked at me in disbelief. I could see her slowly processing my words. Chiiyuki blinked her eyes. Her usual dreamy expression was replaced with one prompting me to give confirmation once more. I nodded slowly, our eyes bore into each other. When she knew it was all real, a genuine, heartfelt smile graced her lips.

“You really mean it…” Chiiyuki’s voice was trembling. I couldn’t help but nod again. To her, it must have felt like one of the greatest gifts she had ever received.

“Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!” She stands up from her spot, squealing with excitement. I grimace a little at the high pitched noises she is making. Even so, I didn’t completely hate it…

I let out a dry laugh. How could I have become so soft? My sleep had been improving, so I chalked it up to that. I flashed Chiiyuki a smile.

“I hope you’re prepared for your first and best vacation of your life.”

⊹₊˚ꕤ˚₊⊹ the next day…

Today was the official start of winter break. Hundreds of students were gathered outside of the Mirror Chamber to head home. Students were being kept outside this year, since we had some incidents of students fighting over who got to go home first. Many were gathered in clusters, chattering excitedly about their plans amongst themselves. A few underclassmen and teammates from the Spelldrive team shouted their “take cares” and “see you after the break”. To which I responded with a simple nod. I, like many others, found a nice spot to line up and wait for my turn to return home.

I leaned back against the wall. There was plenty of time until we would have a turn to go through the mirror. Still, I didn’t want Chiiyuki to arrive at the last minute, or worse, after I'd departed. A part of me considered the possibility that she was here. She could be searching for me, afterall to Chiiyuki, it would be like stalking through the thick, tall grass in the wilderness. I stood there impatiently. My eyes scanned the sea of faces, searching intensely for the young lady.

My ear twitched relentlessly until it found a specific voice from the sea of students.

“Yipee! I think I found the right place! All that is left is to look for Leona~” It was a higher pitched version of the softer voice that I came to familiarise myself with. Echoing behind Chiiyuki was a lustrous dust, like crushed up gems sprinkled onto the moon that you could see from miles away. I gazed up at the tiny fairy flitting in my direction. I smirked at the possible reactions Chiiyuki had as soon as she saw the crowd. It was easier to fly above them than to push through. But then, I felt a cold swirling mist sent a shiver down my spine.

I barely had time to react when a cloud of smoke erupted in front of me. My body, and several others nearby, were engulfed in a flurry of lustrous dust. My body shuddered at what felt like icy shards clinging onto my skin. When the rest of the smoke dispersed, I brushed off the remains of the dust that clung onto my skin and clothes. My attention turned to a very flustered Chiiyuki. Her cheeks lightly dusted with a vivid shade of pink. She immediately turned away from me, bowing apologetically to all the dust covered students. The exertion of her power to transform into her regular size made her breathless.

I glared down at her, my voice gruff . “Warn me next time, will ya? I hate the cold.”

“I will! I just got caught up in all the excitement that I completely forgot about all the dust from transforming back to my regular self…” She laughed nervously. A spark of curiosity and awe shone from her ruby eyes.

I sighed and shook my head at her carelessness. It reminded me of one of my fellow housewardens and his vice housewarden, who often cleaned up after his messes. For once, I felt a bit of responsibility for Chiiyuki’s actions. Luckily, none of the surrounding students seemed too upset about being covered in fairy dust.

I coughed, clearing my throat. “Good. Now let’s go inside, Chiiyuki,” I gestured to her to follow me. “And stay behind me, don’t get lost.”

We stepped into the Mirror Chamber. It was dimly lit by the orange lanterns hung up on the walls, as well as branching candles protruding from the ground. Caskets float around the room. The same kind that carried students as they were transported here for a new semester.

I turn back to check on Chiiyuki. I noticed the lanterns reflecting in her eyes. Something about them must have struck a chord with her, which caused her to tense up. I sighed to myself. This wasn’t the time to reminisce or have regrets. There were a bunch of noisy, impatient students outside waiting for their turn to go home. If something was bothering her, we’d have to wait for it when we got to the Sunrise City.

“Chiiyuki, snap out of it and get over here.” I called for her.

She looked up at me, stunned. She came back to reality and runs up to me so that we were standing side by side, in front of the mirror.

I stepped forward in front of the mirror. I’ve done this several times before, so I was confident in what I was doing. “Take us to Sunrise City in the Sunset Savanna.”

The surface of the mirror responded through ripples. The ripples multiplied rapidly, turning into a bright light that pulled us in.

ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚ Sunset Savanna…ོ༘₊⁺☀︎₊⁺⋆.˚

The blinding light dwindled and straight away the heat of the Savanna hit us like a strong wave. I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the familiar, yet unwelcoming heart of the Sunset Savanna. In front of us was a large fountain. Placed on top of it was a historic scene immortalised in gold. Depicted was a renowned shaman holding up the newborn prince, the son of the King of the Beast.

My gaze flickered to my right just to check on Chiiyuki. Her eyes were squinting, both a result of the blinding light from the sun reflecting off the fountain, as well as from discomfort due to the immense heat. Her skin glistened with a light sheen of sweat underneath the sunlight. It was a stark contrast from the climate on the Isle of Sages, where it was relatively cool year round. Chiiyuki’s eyes widened as she began to take in her surroundings. She was in awe of how bright the city was, the plants growing in harmony with buildings.

I, on the other hand, was holding back a scowl. This place was a dump, the still old familiar and unchanging city. Our society deemed that it’s our duty to protect the environment, even if it means making the lives of many people in rural areas harder. Water is scarce. I’ve read journal articles where researchers detected lots of water underground. But unlike the Scalding Sands which is drier than the Sunset Savannah, our people aren’t interested in investing in infrastructure to bring it to people’s homes.

Yet…I couldn’t let Chiiyuki see my disgruntled expression. This was her first time here. I didn’t want to taint her impression with

the bitter resentment of the second born prince. Not so early, at least.

“Who…who is that?” Chiiyuki asked me, her cheeks flushed. I could tell she was struggling to withstand the intense heat. I knew she was trying to stay strong by distracting herself from the discomfort, but the hazy look in her eyes told me another story.

“The heat can be too much if you aren’t used to it. Let’s go find you some shade.” I gently took her by the hand to find a nicely shaded area with some cold drinks so she could rehydrate. Luckily, the Raintree Marketplace wasn’t too far away. Whereas the metallic high rises reflected light and heat, the marketplace was like a shaded haven. Multi-coloured tarps were used to block out the sunlight. The chatter of vendors and customers, as well as aromas from various food stalls filled the air. Ignoring the stares of onlookers, I walked up to the first stall selling beverages and ordered a cold mixed juice with extra ice for her. I had to shake Chiiyuki a bit to keep her awake. I wasn’t keen on losing her to heat exhaustion.

Once the drink arrived, I passed it to a very drowsy Chiiyuki. She was barely standing on her own. Her ruby eyes were completely out of it. I had to take her other hand and wrap it around the cup for even a bit of life to return to her face. As soon as her other hand wrapped around the cup, the coldness from the ice sparked her back to life. Chiiyuki eagerly gulped down the cup, finishing it all within mere seconds.

Ice crinkled within the plastic cup as she lowered it from her mouth. A loud, refreshed sigh told me she was feeling energised.

“Ah, that was refreshing! I definitely needed that…” her voice was light and airy.

I smirked wryly. “I won’t let you go ahead and die on me, Chiiyuki. The heat is pretty intense for most first time visitors. But, you’ll quickly get used to it.”

I focused my gaze on the stalls around us. There were plenty of stalls worth checking out. In fact, most tourists who visit the Sunset Savanna claim this place is worth stopping by to purchase souvenirs. I thought that perhaps it would be worth our time to take a look around, well mostly Chiiyuki. I’ll just keep an eye out for anyone trying to take advantage of her.

It was past noon when we arrived, and the sun wouldn’t set until later that evening. If I wanted to show her my favourite parts of the Sunset Savanna, then I’d have to wait for when the temperature was lower. And maybe bring some water bottles to prevent heat exhaustion.

I gestured to Chiiyuki to follow me around the marketplace, making sure we didn’t get separated. Some time later, she spotted a vendor selling handmade bracelets and necklaces. Chiiyuki signaled to me that she wanted to check it out. I watched her scan the display in amazement at all the different colours, styles and materials.

“These are all gorgeous! So many to choose from...” she remarked in awe.

“ We got different kinds of materials to make bracelets, even shells and leather. Take mine for instance. The multicoloured one is made of precious gems and the other one is brass.” I raise my wrist to her eye level to give her a close look at them.

“Ooh, pretty!” She took a quick glance at my bracelets. Her eyes sparkly and cheeks still a bit warm. I could easily tell she wanted a bracelet of her own.

“Interested, aren’t you? I’m feeling pretty generous today, so why don’t you pick one out for yourself?” It was partially the truth. I wasn’t going to admit my guilt for allowing her to nearly pass out the moment we arrived at the Sunset Savanna.

The fairy let out an excited squeal. I watched as she picked up several bracelets to try on. Chiiyuki gravitated towards the bracelets with smooth, round beads. I began to space out a little as she and the vendor were searching through the available bracelets to find one that suited her the best. Some more time went on and I began to notice the amount of passersby in the marketplace dwindle. I glanced over my shoulder and to my surprise, Chiiyuki was still trying to pick a bracelet out. Unable to wait any longer, I stepped in beside her. My arms crossed over my chest and I raise an eyebrow

“What’s taking you so long?” I asked in disbelief. A tinge of irritation was clear in my voice.

She gave me a sheepish grin. In her hands were two glass bracelets. My eyes narrow at the source of her indecisiveness.

Chiiyuki sighed in defeat and then placed the two bracelets back on the table. “It’s no use trying to think what mom would say...”

“Your…mom?” My voice softened significantly. Everytime she brought up her parents, it was usually because she missed them.

Chiiyuki nodded her head. “She’s the one I rely on for fashion advice. I was trying to figure out what she would say…but my mind is all blank.”

“So that’s what is stopping you from choosing?”

“Pretty much...I’m not used to choosing accessories for myself.” Chiiyuki admitted shyly.

I was pretty taken aback by her confession. It never occured to me that she relied so much on her mother’s opinion to simply dress herself. A part of me felt sympathy for the lack of experience she had in making her own decisions. It’s not like she had to dress to impress anyone.

I let out a deep breath. It would be a bad look if we stood around here for so long, all to not buy anything. And not to mention, I didn’t want Chiiyuki to return to the palace empty handed.

“Well, which one do you like?” I asked calmly.

“The multicoloured one of course! It reminds me of all the beautiful flowers of the botanical garden.” She responded immediately.

I picked up the bracelet, hand held out for her own. Chiiyuki allowed me to slip the bracelet on her wrist. It was a bit loose. The bracelet would slide up to the middle of her forearm if she shook it too much, but she didn’t mind. I thought it complimented her nicely. Most of her clothes were pretty limited in colour, so I guess it works.

“It suits you.” I complimented her with a confident tone.

I fished out my wallet and handed some thaumarks to the vendor. Finally, we could return to the palace. I glanced up at the sky. The sun was already setting beyond the horizon, casting a golden glow over the marketplace. Chiiyuki still had so much more to see. I wanted to take her to try the street food, and maybe pick out some books for her to read.

Damn it, I’m becoming too soft.

“Come, let’s go before it’s dark. It’s nearly time for dinner.” I ushered her towards the exit. Waiting for us, was an inconspicuous four seater silver car. Limousines were reserved for special occasions, whereas any other car was for simple outings. Our limousines often drew crowds of people- especially nosy journalists. They’d surround the car with their cameras or phones, snapping numerous photos and shouting at us for us to roll down the window- it was sometimes bordering on harassment. We’d then have to stop the car and get the guards to shoo them away before we could resume our drive. So while it wasn’t a car that most people royalty would ride, it did the job.

I greeted the familiar driver with a firm nod. She opened the door for us to step in. I allowed Chiiyuki to step in first and sat down beside her.

The drive was quiet. I could sense Chiiyuki was feeling tense throughout the entire ride. I occasionally stole glances over at her, watched as she tried to calm herself down by taking deep breaths and relaxing her posture, although none of them really worked. She must have been nervous to go to the palace. While to me it was my home, to her it must have been intimidating. I wasn’t sure how to ease her nerves since palace life was so natural to me.

The car pulled up to the palace entrance. Two guards opened the door for us on both sides for us to step out. Awaiting our arrival were a whole group of staff, as well as some guards. I don’t often come by to visit (I wonder why…), so when I do arrive, perhaps it’s important for some people.

I offered my arm to Chiiyuki for her to hold onto. Her frigid hands shook me upon first contact. My body tensed up slightly. Chiiyuki gently placed her hands on my arm, and together we walked through the palace’s front doors. Walking with Chiiyuki was a bit awkward at first. She wasn’t very mindful of my feet, so her smaller ones kept bumping into mine. I was lucky she was wearing flats instead of heels, otherwise it would hurt much more.

It turned out that we arrived earlier than the chefs expected. So, there was a bit of time until dinner would be served. I led Chiiyuki to the guest room I had prepared for her. As a first time guest, my brother suggested that we give her a room with a view over the city. Of course, I knew Chiiyuki better than he did. I insisted that her room should be closer to the garden and that she should have a good view of it. He obliged and called me a ‘good friend’.

As I expected, Chiiyuki was beyond thrilled with the room. She squealed with excitement at how spacious the room was. She twirled around, her vivid red sleeves flowing along with her delicate movements. For a moment, I almost thought she was about to tumble onto the herringbone floor boards, but luckily she averted disaster by landing on the soft queen sized bed.

“This room is awesome!” She laughed excitedly. She sat up from the bed. Her soft eyes gave me a look of pure bliss.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! My room back at home is much tinier than this. Maybe it’s about…that big?” She used her hands to visualize the size of her room relative to the guest room. I’d say it was around an eighth of the size.

“I couldn’t imagine living in a cramped room…” I grumbled, imagining the lack of leg space. I was pretty surprised at how small the room was for a single individual. I couldn’t even begin to visualize the rest of the house.

She had a bashful expression. “That’s because I’m not royalty, silly. I live in an apartment… ”

I rolled my eyes. “Warn me when I come over.”

I looked over to where thin, veiled curtains covered two stained glass balcony doors. With one hand, I beckoned her to come. I pushed the doors open, ready to wow her with the view of the garden. Her light footsteps hit the balcony, followed by a loud and audible gasp from her lips.

In front of us was the most perfect view of the sun setting across the horizon. The remains of the sun’s warm glow radiated over the garden, which was in perfect view from Chiiyuki’s room. There was a slightly cool breeze, carrying the aroma from the flowers and herbs that grew beneath us.

I peered over my shoulder to get Chiiyuki’s response. She was absolutely stunning. I mean stunned. The pink and orange hues from the sunset gave her a warm, radiating glow, contrasting her usual pale complexion. The light made her eyes seem to sparkle with life. Her lips parted, breath completely stolen by the scenery.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? I may not love everything about this country, but I can’t deny that the view isn’t bad.”

She snapped out of her enchantment to look up at me.

“Indeed, I love it. I have never seen anything like this before…” Her voice was airy, still coming down from the excitement of the Savanna’s natural beauty. She placed her hands over where her heart should be.

“I’ll never forget this. Thank you, Leona.” She whispered. Her eyes softened up at me, a gaze I could never forget.

I smirked, turning my attention back to the sky. We stood together on the balcony. It was a moment of peace for the two of us. For a brief moment, we could get away from what troubled us and let the remaining light of the day ease our worries.

“Don’t mention it. Think of it as an early holiday gift.” I whispered, mostly to myself. I’m not sure if she heard it.

And soon, it was already night.

₊‧ 𖧧 Two Evenings Later…

Three more days have passed since we arrived at the Sunset Savanna. After our uneventful first day (I won’t even call it day one), I devised a rough sort of plan to get the most out of our short stay here.

On day one, I took her for a drive outside of the city. Unlike the well-paved roads of the city, the wilderness was uneven and rocky. I was familiar with the best scenic routes, as I’d often go out for a drive to clear my head and let loose. I drove down a path that led to a giant rock which legend stated was the home of the King of the Beast.

The next day we went out to Ivory Springs. I recalled Chiiyuki thinking I was pranking her by taking her to what once was an elephant graveyard. Even when I showed her that it was just a hot spring, she was still a bit uneasy due to all the bones laying around.

The next day during our lunch, she mustered up some courage to tell me she wanted to soak in the hot springs. I obliged and we enjoyed separate baths until sunset. When we reconnected to head back to the palace, I thought her skin looked smoother than ever. Things were going smoothly up until that evening.

During dinner, Chiiyuki seemed a bit downcast. Her fork poked at the bits of chicken in her bowl of stew. I was worried about what was bothering her. It couldn’t have been the food and the spices. Chiiyuki enjoyed spicy food, that’s what she told me she grew up on. It couldn’t have been the food itself either, because I noticed how her eyes would light up with each dish she tried. I then thought back to the day itself, wondering if perhaps I hurt her without realising.

Just then, Chiiyuki stood up from the table. She excused herself to leave before dessert was going to be served. Farena gave me a knowing look. His red eyes narrowed, like he was disappointed in me for not treating a lady right. I rolled my eyes and stabbed my fork through the chunk of beef on my plate. I didn’t know what was going on in the fairy’s mind. How was I supposed to know something was off?

After dinner, I went to Chiiyuki’s room. It was my brother’s disproving look that fueled my desire to check in with her. I knocked several times. No response. Sighing, I reluctantly placed my hand on the doorknob. To my surprise, she didn’t lock the door. I quietly turned the doorknob to step inside. I noticed the balcony door was open. The night time breeze blew past the curtains, revealing the silhouette of a small figure resting by the rail.

I pushed the curtains aside to reveal Chiiyuki standing on the balcony. The moonlight shone on her face. From where I stood, the light made her tears glistening in her eyes look prismatic. Her lips trembled as she tried to stifle her whimpers. The sound of the fabric being moved aside startled her. She jolted from her spot. Shock morphed into relief once she realized it was me. Chiiyuki shyly stepped aside for me to join her on the balcony. There was plenty of space, but it was a cue to me that she wanted company.

We stood together on the balcony, just like we did a few days ago. When I drew closer to her, I noticed how she tried to quickly wipe away her tears. I coughed to clear my throat. I wasn’t sure how to break the heavy silence between us. Carefully, I tried to find the right words to calm her down.

“You can talk to me, you know. I may not be the easiest guy to get along with but…yeah.” I tried to make my voice softer than my usual gruff tone.

To my surprise, she responded by giggling. “I’m touched that you came to look for me.”

Her response initially made me a little annoyed. Why was she shocked that I took the initiative to check in on her? Did she think I wouldn’t have come if there was nothing for me to gain? Of course, most people at Night Raven College don’t usually act out of the kindness of their own heart. If it were anyone else, of course I wouldn’t bother. That’s why…it sort of stung that she thought so little of me.

“I’m not that much of a selfish jerk…” I grumbled. But then, I saw how she gazed at me. I caught sight of her earnest expression. It told me how much she valued my presence. She was telling me that I mattered. And for once, I felt an unexpected surge of emotions coursing through my entire being. I wasn’t sure what it was…

“I’m happy that you are here.” She spoke softly. To my ears, it was like petals swirling in a gentle breeze.

“Look.” She then pointed up at the vast, starry night sky. I stared at the moon for a few moments, my vision adjusting to the darkness. It was then I noticed Chiiyuki didn’t take interest in the ethereal celestial body in the sky, but a small firefly. The faint light weaved around stars, or past kings as my predecessors would claim. The insect seemed to be putting up some effort to outshine the moon, but it couldn’t even compare to the stars.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. It was never fair. I hated it all. I wish I could just push him off a cliff. I’d make a better king than him- a thousand times better.

“A useless garden fairy is no garden fairy at all…” her whisper interrupted my thoughts. It wasn’t meant for my ears, but I could pick up a distinct melancholy in her voice. Her words struck a chord with me, resonating with my own struggles.

“My mom and dad are somewhere out there.” Chiiyuki abruptly confessed.

I raised an eyebrow at the sudden change in topic. “You miss them?”

“I really want to see them once more. I…I didn’t get to say goodbye.” Chiiyuki’s gaze drifted up once more to the starry sky. I sighed. I didn’t know how to help her, let alone myself. My eyes followed her line of sight, spotting a stray shooting star crossing the sky.

“I bet they wish they could see you right now..” I murmured, my voice still rough. It was my messy attempt at comforting her. She didn’t acknowledge my words, so I thought she ignored me. But as I glanced at her from the corner of my eyes, her wistful expression began to soften. The radiance of the moon highlighted the tears that clung onto her eyelashes. I knew I didn’t comprehend her sorrow, but somehow I could understand her.

⊹₊˚ꕤ˚₊⊹ the next day…

The next morning, Chiiyuki’s mood seemed to have improved. She greeted me with a quiet ‘good morning’ and then asked if I slept well. There was a bit of anxiousness in her voice when she asked. It might have had to do with the fact that when I retreated to my chambers last night, it was past midnight. I reassured her that I was well rested. Chiiyuki gave me a smile, eyes sparkling once more. I felt a bit of a sense of relief knowing that the shroud of sadness lingering over her has lifted.

The two of us sat down together for breakfast at the dining table. While we were in the middle of eating, my ears perked up at the sound of loud footsteps approaching. The door burst open. Two guards entered the room with stern looks on their faces. Their attention narrowed in on Chiiyuki and immediately, a surge of protectiveness rushed through me.

“We found an abandoned boat this morning during our patrol. There was a letter addressed to Miss Chiiyuki.” One of the guards held a piece of parchment in her hands. She strode up to Chiiyuki to give her the letter.

I watched intently as Chiiyuki took the letter. Her fingers gently trembled as they moved to unfurl the letter. Ruby eyes scanned the addressee, and I could see that her heart immediately sank. The colour in Chiiyuki’s face drained as she continued to read. When she finished, it took her a few moments to compose herself. A sigh of defeat escaped through her lips.

“It’s a letter from the king of the Court of Springs....” She looked up at me. There was a desperate plea for help reflected in her eyes.

“It says here my parents are worried about me. So worried that they are unable to work.” She choked on her words.

Chiiyuki had expressed her anguish to me before. The topic of her parents was always a sensitive one for her, mainly because of the guilt she bore for running away. That anguish had now increased a thousandfold, knowing that her absence has caused so much distress for her parents.

“I-I don’t know what to do Leona.” Chiiyuki’s breath hitched. I could feel her internal conflict through her pained tone. She was grappling with her own fears against the love she had for her family.“I love my parents, I want to comfort them…but on the other hand, I can’t go back…”

Immediately, I spoke up. “Last night, you told me you wanted to see them once more.”

I paused. My brows furrow, trying to choose the right words. “Was what you said was emotionally driven? Do you seriously want to go back?” I wasn’t going to give Chiiyuki my answer to her dilemma. It was up to her to decide which path to take.

Chiiyuki took a brief moment to carefully process my words. Slowly, with uncertainty, she said yes.

“Come with me, Leona.” I don’t want to be alone. That was what she was trying to say.

I’ll admit, I was somewhat caught off guard by her desperate pleas. Chiiyuki asking me to come with her was also a shock, given that I am a complete stranger to her family. Yet as her only real ‘friend’, it wasn’t completely out of the question.

Perhaps it was the limited time that made me answer her without me second-guessing my instincts. Something about Chiiyuki made me feel like I could allow that vulnerable, tender side of me that I neglected for so long, to surface.

I sealed the promise with a curt nod of my head. “Alright. I’ll bring you to your parents.”

Little did we know, this would be a journey we would never forget.

[plumbbobtoggle]

LAUREN Hi! Hope I'm not interrupting?

JAKE Nah, I just didn't expect you to call. 

LAUREN I needed a break from studying anyway. The apartment looks great, I especially like the living area. Is it all finished now?

JAKE Pretty much! Everyone's helped out: Sawyer, and Margo, and August, and Vanessa - you remember Vanessa Weingarten?

LAUREN The girl you dated in high school?

JAKE I didn't date her in high school!

LAUREN Oh, my bad - the girl you volunteered with and had a huge crush on when you were in high school?

JAKE How many nice points do you have again?

LAUREN Ten, why?

JAKE Just checking! How is college?

LAUREN It's good! I like the classes so far - there's a lot of reading, but it's not a huge step up from AP. And there's so much to do on campus! 

JAKE That's cool. What about the people, you made any friends?

LAUREN A lot of the students in my dorm are freshmen too. I think they went to the same high school, they all know each other.

JAKE Oh! Does it make you feel excluded?

LAUREN Not at all! I just have a feeling like everybody is dating everybody, but they're very chill about it. There's no weird drama, which you'd expect, you know?

JAKE Yeah...you want in on the action?

LAUREN I mean, maybe? I'm good watching from the sidelines just now. I'm still figuring out who is whose cousin.

JAKE It's like the Griffins in Elsewhere!

LAUREN It's exactly like the Griffins in Elsewhere! ...I can't believe in about to be related to the Griffins.

JAKE I'm about to be thrice related to the Griffins!

LAUREN What's the third time?

JAKE My sister is getting married to Margo's brother!

LAUREN Oh yeah, I forgot! When's the wedding?

JAKE ...Soon?

LAUREN Do you mean you don't know!

JAKE I don't remember! They've been planning for so long I forget when it actually is!

LAUREN Oh my plum!

JAKE Is August going? 

LAUREN I don't know. How big is the wedding party?

JAKE It is family only, but Del did ask me about a plus one, and that must extend to all siblings. So Margo is probably bringing August.

LAUREN Oh, then Margo is definitely bringing August. Are you bringing your girlfriend?

JAKE Naaah...

LAUREN Is it okay to ask?

JAKE Well, I haven't introduced her to Mom and Dad, and I feel like my sister's wedding is not the time, you know?

LAUREN Yeah, no, I get it.

JAKE And like. I don't know what the long-term plan there is.

LAUREN Oh.

JAKE It's fine. We just. Need to talk, I guess. 

LAUREN Right. Plus. There's Vanessa Weingarten.

JAKE Stop!

LAUREN Alright alright. I'm going to let you go. Thank you for checking it.

JAKE Always. Good talking to you.

LAUREN Same! Take care.

JAKE And you.

[trans-advice]

Hi! This gets a little heavy, which I hope is okay.

I'm a young adult, trans, and living in a red state. I don't have the means to pack up and move elsewhere. I'm old enough that I technically could have come out or taken steps to transition by now. I just haven't.

I'm the type of person who thinks about it for days if a cashier gives me a weird look. I need everyone to like me so much. The "authentic" me and the people-pleasing conformist are fighting. And the conformist is winning. (I'm getting a good grace in gender conformance, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve, lol.) I don't feel mentally healthy about it.

Keeping in mind that I'm surrounded by Republicans, it doesn't even feel maladaptive. It just feels normal except for the part where I'm never happy. I'm not brave, and any plan I make for my future has to reckon with that.

I don't know. Can someone please tell me there's hope for me?

Yes there's hope.

Personally, I think you're probably doing well on the "don't debate fascists/transphobes" PSA's from 2016, so take comfort in that. If you are not out, then maybe it will be easier to leave people, or at least move out to somewhere else. Granted, rent is high, but still, housing discrimination. If you can't move away then basically try to be away from the republicans you're surrounded by as much as possible.

Coming out was originally meant for new people within lgbtqia+ spaces, like bars & parties. Then from those spaces it got repurposed by people who already had ties to other lgbtqia+ such as communities, friends, or college campus version of GSA's (called lgbtqa which combined the lgbtq acronym with the soffa acronym). Point being, if you are surrounded by transphobes, and you don't have community ties yet with say t4t spaces or lgbtqia+ spaces, then do not come out. It take groups of people to oppress & it takes groups of people to undo that oppression. It would be wiser to figure out how to move from place to place, whether across state lines or not, in order to gain more access to affirming spaces, than it would be to come out like right now.

I'm not sure how what the range of bravery, but basically when people were like "don't debate fascists" online in 2016ish, that also means don't debate transphobes today. Avoid talking to them as much as possible. I would consider just travelling around until you get some plans for how to move away.

The thing is I don't think you're wrong to be thinking about people who give you weird looks, if anything I think channeling it into some action plans might be needed. I would pay attention to your physical vulernabilities & the layout of places so you can have an escape plan. In your example maybe remember who the cashier was & where you were at in order to decide whether you try going somewhere else. (Although scary to learn about, look up "fatal funnels" & "containment", they are easier to spot.)

If you can protect the pages from hostile eyes, then if you want it analog, then maybe a note book where you dedicate 1 page to an index of zipcodes & then you write encounters on pages with those zipcodes, maybe using google maps or something to find the zipcode. Lowkey I'm thinking of Loewen's Historical Database of Sundown Towns. (Because 'erf in english is white [supremacist] feminist in spanish.)

Likewise look into places where you can get away from Republicans would be a good idea. Like where are spaces where you can be alone that are relatively safe & that you can leave safely as needed? The mentality I'm talking here is the kind where you lay your head at a fast food restaurant table while waiting for your food & then getting up. Or where do people sneak out to take a smoke break. Whether you use this for rest, or for something trans affirming, is up to you. The point is to get yourself to spot opportunities for some refuge for some things. Basically this also applies to trying to so self-care so that you have less problems later.

Good Luck, Peace & Love,

Eve

[inkshadow]

“That’s not —“ But the implication of her statement lingered in the air. Her outburst loud and clear even if she tried to redirect his attention elsewhere. Why would she care? Why give a single damn about some idiotic, self-centered, lazy jackass like him? There is nothing to gain. Nothing to really find illuminating aside from letting herself be sucked in by his stupidity and allowing this mistake to occur. The sooner she admitted what a mistake this was, the sooner she could leave. Add in how much of a waste of time he was. After all it’s not like he cared what anyone said. It didn’t trample on his freedom. Didn’t weigh on his mind for a second. He lived and breathed as he desires — “why don’t you care?!”, she shouts as hands shove him back but a wall of muscle is unyielding. Once where composure seemed king now patience frayed at the edges. A torrent of frustration crashing into her chest impossible to contain as envy gnawed its way deeper into her heart. He could do /anything/ he wanted. Live /however/ he wished and this is his choice? “You’re choosing to keep your head down like everyone else — and for what? To avoid some damn consequence?!” (Ayana)

it's her exclamation that has his pupils expanding, the outburst implying that she's bothered by the way he chooses to exist. his body hardly reacts to her shove but mostly due to the weight of her words versus actual physicality. why don't you care. why does it matter to her that he doesn't? unless — no, it couldn't possibly be. envy? that something as trivial as the words of others can simply cascade down his back like water headed towards a drain of empty threats? ❝ consequences? i'm capable of handling whatever consequences may come up... ❞ he's not finished speaking just yet, reaching a large hand out to rest on her head, effectively tipping it up to look at him. ❝ caring... implies that i have something to lose. and i don't have anything to lose anymore. ❞ simply put, the only thing in his eyes now is basketball. so long as he lives and breathes it, nothing else can get in the way because he has the ultimate control on the courts. everything — and everyone — else ceases to exist because acknowledging them will only introduce opportunity for heartbreak. for distraction. ❝ i really do feel sorry for you, captain, ❞ he adds, lowering his arm back to his side before taking a step forward to effectively shove her aside with his broad frame. ❝ maybe you should stop worrying about what others think..... for once. maybe then will you start smiling more around campus. ❞ / @lunarxdaydream

[the-hybrid-lua]

Reblogging this again. As a teacher, we absolutely need to redo or beef up public education.

Starting simply - hire more teachers. It has been proven that students learn better in smaller classes, but right now most classes are 25+ students. The school I work at, most classes are 28+. The only exceptions are small group classes fir special education, but again it's been proven that ALL students learn better in a smaller group. The teacher can help them more and provide individualized instruction that helps each student grasp concepts easier.

Go back to some of the basics. I won't argue that memorizing multiplication tables is absolutely necessary because you won't always have a calculator, yes you will. But math teaches you more than just numbers, it shows how to recognize patters, use logic steps, and process through solving something even if you don't have the exact steps you need. Those skills can and should be applied elsewhere as well. Knowing at least some multiplication tables can also help when the calculator lies to you - tech is dumb and can only work with your input and it is easy to make a mistake. You'll be more ready to recognize and fix the mistake, which is another skill that can be transferred eelsewhere.

Bring back a focus on phonetics and phonics in school, especially for children learning to read, and stop reading purely for information extraction. Teach the students how to recognize letters and words, how to sound out nee words, how to look things up in a dictionary if they are stuck on word meanings. Don't tell them to just guess based on what they think makes sense and what a picture is telling them. Before anyone argues, yes that is something that is taught, I am currently in a college course dedicated to teaching reading and understanding and this was literally our first class topic.

Bring back arts and shop classes. Those help students connect to each other in different ways, help with recognizing and appreciating the work that goes into different skills, gives them an opportunity to find something non academic that they want to do, can open career opportunities, and as an overall is just good for students to do. Little skills that they can use for hobbies, use to make their own lives easier (like auto shop for some basic car care), or just stuff that they may have an interest in and can now experiment with.

Provide fucking food for them! We are expecting students to come all day and either bring a meal or pay for food, and if you can't then sucks for you guess you starve. Anyone learn better when they are not hungry; the brain takes up insane amounts of calories, not eating leads to brain fog and attention problems. We have the students on campus for most of the day, and then won't feed them. I know some states are trying, but this should also be supplemented federally because an educated populace is good for everyone. Food is a human right, and it is being withheld from children. Congratulations USA, good job.

Give the teachers room to teach. The state I am in (I'm going to use math specifically as that has been my focus) gives the middle school math classes the time to spend 2 days on each lesson. That is nowhere near enough time to make sure the students fully understand the steps, get the practice they need, and can apply the process each equation or problem type requires. It's one day of here's how, one day of practice, next lesson. What are we supposed to do if a student doesn't understand? Or misses one of those days? Or just needs more time to practice to make sure they can get it? We don't have the time to help them. And then the district told us we could do after-school tutoring - the teachers have to volunteer and then attendance is entirely up to the student. A lot can't make it to that, and others just feel like they won't understand and it's not worth trying. We are doing them a disservice - we aren't providing the time that some lessons desperately need and then the student is punished for not understanding. Especially in math where everything builds off of the previous lessons.

Building off of a previous point, just offer a bigger variety and give students more options for things. Both for electives and core classes. I know we ha e required ones, but wouldn't it be possible to adjust those and let students take more control of their own learning? Then they have more personal investments. Like history for example. Students in my state, starting from middle school, have world history (6th grade), state history (7th grade), USA history (8th grade), world history (9th), state history (10), either gov/econ or USA history (11), and the other from gov/econ. I'd suggest removing one of the state histories and adding a specific in depth option: civil war, revolutionary war, European history, Middle Eastern history, religion/religious history, Asian history, things like this. Branch the students out into the globe a bit more, or offer a new perspective on different religions and how they interact throughout history. Do the same for math, add things like finance (I know some schools have but not all), accounting and book keeping, theoretical math/math theory (something my sisters can take but which was not offered when I was a student), again branch out, give the students a small taste of some advanced concepts that aren't just trig and Calc. Change the sciences by breaking up into some more specialized courses. Not just biology, but biology of mammals specifically: dig in deep on the anatomy and evolutionary benefits, on whatever feeds into biology of mammals that is different from reptiles or fish. Hell, even just offer an oceanic biology course instead if the very brief overview that current bio classes give. There is so much that can be done to expand what information students have access to, that can give them more input and dedication to their learning, and that can help them decide on specific college or work options.

Give all grade levels some break time to just hang out and act social. These students are growing up in a society that is hostile to them. They have nowhere to go to hang out thats cheap and won't get them treated suspiciously and the rest of their lives are dictated by others. Give them some time, outside of lunch, to just talk to each other and hang out. Let them be without any expectations beyond just don't fight or be a dick. That type of connection builds community on its own, which can then help the students understand that they are part of a group and should at least sometimes work together. It can also help give them experience with boundaries that friends may have that aren't just ruled you'll get punished for. Like thos past school year, the students are terrible about touching and taking each others stuff: nobody wants to tell anybody no even if they are uncomfortable with one of their peers doing something. That I'd such an u healthy mindset, and getting the chance to talk and mention things they are uncomfortable with might help them work through some of those mindsets.

I'm not sure what else to add, I could probably come up with more if given the chance. But I'm also writing this partway through a road trip and am completely exhausted. Not completely sure how some of this would work just because of the cost and the amount of restructuring that would have to be done, but I definitely believe changes need to be made.

extremely fucking weird to have to convince leftists that fighting for a better public education system & better wages for teachers is not, like, the Lame Establishment Dem take or whatever.

It is not Cool and Radical to advocate for the dissolution of the entire public education system in favor of Everyone Doing Their Own Thing. what you're describing is libertarianism, and a system that directly and dramatically benefits fascist right-wingers and child abusers.

the community-centered child rearing yall love to talk about exists. it desperately needs to be improved, but the bones are here, and they're already doing a lot of legwork in the fight against aggressive nuclear family isolation.

it's called public school, you fucking dweeb.

[lynxbatics]

Vent incoming below... not a sensitive topic, it's just me worrying about career choices. I'd like advice if you could give it to me. It's kind of long so don't worry if you don't read it all.

I just... I don't know what I want to study. If it were up to me I'd love to be a concept artist for an animation studio but the fact is, I'm just not good enough. I don't put in the work to practice. And I don't change that about myself.

Even if I felt like I was at a good enough skill level... the job opportunities in my country for animation are extremely slim. I'd have to move to the US to do it and I'm not sure I want to. I want to live next to my family. And I want to make a good wage at a good job that won't exploit me. And looking at the industry right now... well I'm not sure that's feasible.

Ok sure fine, whatever. I won't study animation. How about design? It's still a creative option and it's a lot more financially secure than animation. And that's my current choice really! And in design there's two options: industrial design and graphic design. Industrial design is basically making products (more 3D) and graphic design is more 2 dimensional.

And I would love to study graphic design. But AI really, really scares me. And my mom... well she said "when I was younger, people who studied graphic design were people who had nothing else to study." And I'm scared of getting a degree that won't amount to anything because of AI and I'm scared of choosing something "useless" in the eyes of my parents. They've done so much for me and invested so much into my education. I want them to be proud when they tell other people "my daughter is studying ____."

So fine. No graphic design, even though I love designing 2D things much more than I do 3D stuff. I don't even know if I like product design! I've done it like twice. I'm not very much of a hands on person. I don't know. But it's still design and I like design so maybe I'll like it?

So I've had that choice for a good while. I felt confident in my career choice. It's creative and it's (probably) feasible for job opportunities. I know the job market for design is so much more narrow than for, say, industrial engineering. But I don't really see myself as an engineer. (I also wanted to study ecology but in the schools I'm applying to it's focused on sustainable engineering more than biology. So it's not as interesting to me. And I'm not going to leave my country so I can study elsewhere.)

But yesterday, a friend of mine got accepted into culinary school. And I feel like culinary school is like art school in a way. It's a very niche job market. It's not a "safe" career choice. And I just thought to myself... how amazing it would be to study what you want to. Without caring about the size of the job market or your parents expectations and I feel so frustrated with myself. I don't want to end up with a degree I didn't like getting. I don't want to be like my parents in that way. But I also want to have financial security.

And I also have to pick what school to go to. I have two very good options, A and B (that's just the way it is in my city, and also I've ruled out studying abroad). And university A is from the same institution as my current high school and I already got accepted. It's the school my parent's graduated from and it's the MOST prestigious university in my country. And the campus is so pretty. But university A leans more towards engineering and science, not the humanities. And they implemented a new learning model where you have the same core curriculum as a couple of other careers in your area for the first couple of semesters. (Say, if I applied via creative careers I would be taking the same classes as both types of design, art, and music students). And THEN you can choose what you want to study. And I think it's really cool because then I could take art classes and I could learn if I really want to study industrial design. And I'd graduate from the same university as my parents so there's also the matter of pride. But no one likes this new learning model! So most of my friends are going to study at university B.

And university B is really good too (not as prestigious as A but it's still great). And the thing with it is that it focuses on the humanities more than engineering. So they have these amazing facilities with all types of tools for industrial design. But the thing is, for this school you have to pick your career from the start. You can't pick "design" and then choose what type of design you want later. You've got to pick "graphic design" or "industrial design" from the get go. And I don't know what to pick!! But a lot of my friends are aiming for this university and I already have a couple of friends that go there so it would be great to take classes with them! But... I know this sounds super superficial and spoiled, but the campus is just not as pretty as the other school's. It's very... drab. Everything is grey. And the design school has this building that looks like a giant concrete slab in the middle of the mountains! And I hate it! There's no color at all! And I swear I never care about these things, I never do! So the fact that I noticed it and it bothered me means that it really is gray! And it's not just the outside of the building, the inside of it is really closed off as well. There's like, no windows! And it's all gray! I don't want to spend the next four years of my life inside a block of concrete!

But I don't know what to do. I know that focusing on the aesthetic is so superficial and I know that if I end up going there I'll get used to it eventually. But I'm already a student of university A's institution (by way of my high school) so I already have this weird loyalty to university A. But I also want to study at the place that's best for me. I want to study with my friends too! But there's also the fact of contributing the family tradition of being university A alumni. And my parent's aren't pressuring me to go there or anything but I know that in their time, University B was basically for people who couldn't get into University A (not anymore though, the academic level has increased enormously), so I know that they're very biased towards University A.

I really don't know what to do. I don't know how to make such a big decision for myself, I'm only a high school student! I want to get it over with so I don't have this worry anymore.

If you have any advice or just feel the same please leave a reply. I'd be really grateful.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Thank you everyone, both maggots and strangers, for their kind words on this post and elsewhere to me. I've done some thinking since I sent the ask yesterday, and had conversations with my therapist and my mum. I don't like posting darker things on my blog, and I usually avoid it, but I'm making an exception here because so many of you have reached out to help me and I think you deserve to know the situation.

Trigger warning for discussion of queerphobia, ableism and bullying below. If you're going to read on, please be careful. Nothing takes precedence over your own mental health.

...

I reached an uncomfortable realisation, that I don't have a good choice. Whether I choose to study on campus or do an online course or not do college at all, whether I stay closeted or not, all of those involve horrible compromises of my mental health, safety and education.

I don't think that's fair. I shouldn't have to choose between my safety and getting a basic goddamn degree in a field I love. I shouldn't have to make a choice between my mental health and being able to earn a living.

But I do have to make that choice, as do millions of other people here. My situation is exacerbated by the fact that I'm lower than middle class economically and I'm queer. But people with different situations, better or worse, are all facing the consequences of a really, really broken system.

Yeah, there are benefits and anti-bullying policies and safety structures in place, but they're not there to protect me. They're there to protect the people in positions of authority from the consequences of their actions to people like me, a system that decides what does and what doesn't count as harassment, and can dismiss whatever it likes. And would misgendering me count as harassment? Nope. Neither would isolating me. Neither would dead-naming me or invalidating me.

I wanted to write this down, because yeah, I'm still terrified. Not just for myself, but for all the students here, queer and otherwise. But now I'm also furious.

I'm so angry at a system that ruins people's lives when they've barely started. And I still don't know what to do about my career. But I do know what I want to do about this. I don't have money or power, but I've always had my words, and I'm not going to shut up about this anymore.

Because the education system is deeply fucked at its core, and the queerphobia here is normalised and unchecked, and so many victims of this don't have the words or the platform to speak out about it. But I do, and I'm going to speak for them instead. And I'm going to force the people in positions of authority to listen.

I just wanted everyone to know that I'm very grateful to you for supporting me, and that I want to pass that support on to people like me. That's all.

Note: There are many far darker sides to the education system here that may be extremely triggering, so I've kept it under the cut. TW for mentions of s**cide and d*ath. Again, please be careful if you're reading further.

In the city where I live, in just the two campuses of a highly reputed college where many of my former classmates go, there have been three suicides in less than a year. One college, less than a year, and three people dead. I don't know about the third, but two of them were nineteen years old, just like I am. In 2021, the suicide rate amongst students in India was around 34 deaths per day.

When I told the Dean of my former college that I felt unsafe and miserable in the college environment, she told me to stop being self-absorbed. And then denied saying it the next day when she called my parents to complain about me. To complain about my phone call to her, which I'd asked permission for, and in which I'd said I felt unsafe.

Even people who are asking for help, begging for help, don't receive it. I was lucky enough to have a support system of therapy, medical help and my parents taking my side when she did this to me. Most people don't have that system.

It's fucking sick. And I want to do everything I can to fix it.

Hi Neil, I hope you're having a good day. I'm really scared and confused and I need advice, so I thought I'd ask here, just in case.

I don't think I'll be able to go to college, because of the way I work and because of my low energy and also because I'm queer and live in India and I've already dropped out once because of extreme isolation and bullying for my queerness and mental health.

But I know that I'm really lucky to have been able to get accepted again at a good college now, and that it's something I love doing, with design and film making and writing. And now I don't know what to do.

I thought I remembered something about this in your book Art Matters, so I picked it up and searched through it and found a paragraph that said, "I escaped from school as soon as I could, when the prospect of four more years of enforced learning before I'd become the writer I wanted to be was stifling."

And as a writer and artist I understand that, so much, and it comforted me.

But I'm still so terrified. Thanks to everyone here on tumblr, I'm not alone, but I'm still terrified.

Do you have any advice for me? I suppose it's already in the book, but it would help to hear it again. Thank you so much for everything.

-Asmi

My advice is try it. Try the college, but tell yourself that you can stop if you need to. Learn skills you may need to make art with. See if you can build a group of people who like the things that you like and treat you as a friend.

[trylkstopocket]

Gen Z is re-thinking college and career plans in post-Roe America: ‘I want to leave the country’

cnbc.com

There is an endless list of factors students consider while choosing a college: size, cost, campus life, proximity to home.

But since the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in June — removing nearly 50 years of federal protections for abortions and giving states the right to make the procedure illegal within their jurisdictions — abortion access has become an increasingly influential consideration in students’ college decisions.

Of those planning to enroll in an undergraduate program sometime in the next 12 months, 39% said that the court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade will affect their decision to attend college in a particular state. That’s according to a BestColleges survey of 1,000 current and prospective undergraduate and graduate students conducted in July.

Similarly, 43% of current undergrads said that the overturning of Roe v. Wade has led them to question whether they want to remain in the state where they are attending college or transfer elsewhere.

In post-Roe America, location has never been more important to prospective and current college students deciding where to pursue a degree or build their career.

Confusion and fear on campus: ‘It’s a really scary time’

Growing up, Lexi McKee-Hemenway and her friends in Sturgis, South Dakota, traded horror stories about people in their neighborhood who wanted an abortion and couldn’t get one. McKee-Hemenway recalls once hearing about a pregnant young woman who couldn’t access an abortion and had a horse kick her in the stomach, hoping it would cause a miscarriage. She died from her injuries.

Hearing such stories terrified McKee-Hemenway and inspired her to fight for better local access to reproductive health care.

The 21-year-old, now a junior studying political science at the University of South Dakota, is the president of USD Students for Reproductive Rights.

The Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe in June triggered an abortion ban South Dakota lawmakers passed over 15 years ago that outlaws the procedure except when necessary to save the life of the pregnant person.

McKee-Hemenway says she’s been approached by several students since the start of the school year asking for help with obtaining an abortion — and with each request, McKee-Hemenway says she becomes “a little more convinced” that she does not want to stay in the U.S. after she graduates from college in 2024. “I want to leave the country,” she says.

“There’s nothing more unnerving than seeing the fear in people’s eyes that they will either lose their job or their parents won’t love them anymore if they get an abortion,” she says. “But that’s the reality of how people think and feel about abortion here.”

While South Dakota has always had restrictive abortion laws, June marked the first time the procedure was almost entirely banned.

“I have a lot of mixed feelings: rage, fear, disappointment,” McKee-Hemenway says. “Most of all, though, I have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this is the United States now …. It’s a really scary time to live here.”

Abortion access is ‘dominating’ the college search conversation

Some college counselors are seeing a growing number of high school students factor state laws into their college decisions amid heightened concern from them and their families about the landscape of abortion in college towns throughout the U.S.

Kathleen Moore, the founder of Vox Cambridge College Consulting LLC, says one of her advisees, a soccer player, recently turned down an athletic scholarship to attend a competitive school in South Carolina, citing legislators’ attempts to pass more restrictive abortion laws in the state.

“He told me he wouldn’t consider going to school there on ethical grounds,” Moore tells CNBC Make It. “It’s not a decision students are taking lightly.”

Lexi McKee-Hemenway and Kyshea Koehler at an event hosted by USD Students for Reproductive Rights.

Photo: Lexi McKee-Hemenway

Moore has been helping students navigate the college admissions process for eight years. Prior to the court’s ruling in June, she says students and their families “rarely” wanted to discuss what a school’s stance was on reproductive rights was, or abortion access in the state.

Now, however, “it’s dominating the conversation,” Moore says.

“They want to know what the law is in the states they are applying, what statements, if any, school leaders have made on reproductive rights, and how accessible reproductive health care is near campus,” she says. “These are all questions hardly anyone asked me before the overturn of Roe …. It’s a huge change.”

‘The minute Roe was overturned, I felt like I became a second-class citizen’

Sam Goldstein had always dreamed of having a “traditional college experience,” the kind that she saw on her favorite TV shows growing up: attending a big university with a sprawling campus, football games in the fall and parties in beer-soaked basements.

She fell in love with the University of Wisconsin-Madison during her first visit to campus, and started school there in 2019 as a political science major.

Goldstein, now a senior, had planned on remaining in Wisconsin after graduation to pursue a master’s degree in public policy before Roe was overturned.

In June, when a near-total abortion ban from the 1800s went into effect in Wisconsin after the court’s ruling, those plans “went out the window,” Goldstein says.

The 21-year-old was in Wisconsin governor Tony Evers’ office, where she was completing a summer internship, when the news broke. “I was in shock at first,” Goldstein recalls. “I turned to my friend and I was like, ‘Is this a joke?’”

In the weeks following Roe’s demise, Goldstein says she often walked past throngs of protestors both in support of and against abortion outside of the state capitol building, while inside, the phones were ringing “off the hook” with calls from constituents who had an opinion on the ruling.

Harvard University freshmen rally in Harvard Yard on May 4, 2022 to defend abortion rights.

Erin Clark | Boston Globe | Getty Images

Goldstein decided that she couldn’t remain in Wisconsin for another two years to complete her master’s degree. Now, she’s planning on moving to Washington D.C. after graduation and applying for programs there.

“I’m a full-blown Wisconsin resident — I pay taxes, I vote here, I work here and I love my school,” she says. “But the minute Roe was overturned, I felt like I became a second-class citizen overnight …. I cannot stay here.”

‘Do I even want to stay in the U.S.?’

Sydney Burton has spent many afternoons daydreaming about what life after college would look like while walking around the University of Georgia’s campus: She’d find a creative job in Atlanta that she loved, rent an apartment close to downtown and see her mom on the weekends.

Then, the Dobbs decision happened — and Georgia reinstated its ban on abortions after roughly six weeks of pregnancy in July.

Burton, a senior studying art and advertising, says the news has “completely derailed” her plans to stay in the South after college.

“You could feel everyone’s panic the day Roe was overturned,” the 21-year-old says. “It made me question everything, like, Do I want to continue to build my life in Georgia? Do I even want to stay in the U.S.?”

Having “full autonomy” to make decisions about her body is non-negotiable for her, Burton says. And that’s “impossible to achieve” with Georgia’s restrictive abortion laws in place.

“It’s an incredibly tough decision to make,” Burton says of figuring out where she will live and work in a couple of months. “On the one hand, I am really close with my family, and they are all in Georgia. But on the other hand, what would happen if I needed an abortion and I couldn’t get one?”

She continues: “It’s a really weird, scary concept to even think about …. Not having access to reproductive health care, and being able to make that choice yourself, has the potential to derail your whole life.”

[christowhore]

First Class Fantasies

pairing: dadsbestfriend!steve rogers x wilson!fem!reader (modern au)

summary: steve has noticed your crush on him for a while now, and he decides it's time to have some fun with it. not even caring that his best friend, your father, was only a few feet away.

word count: 4.6k

warnings: smut, age gap (reader 21, steve 45) playful teasing, dirty talk, use of pet names, daddy kink, innocence kink, dumbification, public fingering, mile high club ?, panty stealing, finger sucking, degradation, praising !!! 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI !!!

notes: i'm in love with dbf!steve so i just had to write this. also this has been sitting in the drafts for long enough. i hope you all enjoy ! 💗

join my taglist ! ❦ main masterlist

It was tough being a Wilson. There were so many expectations you had to meet, events you were dragged to alongside your father, moments you missed out on with friends.

But one of the hardest was having constant contact with none other than Steve Rogers.

You shouldn't have a crush on your fathers best friend, but it was hard not to.

Everything about him made you weak in the knees. His adorable smile, his piercing blue eyes, the fact that he towered over everyone with his 6’4” frame.

The first time you met him was right before you left for college, at the going away party your father insisted on throwing for you. With a neatly wrapped present in hand, he stepped into the foyer of your family house and instantly took your breath away.

It didn't help when he greeted you- his warm palm placed gently against the small of your back, pulling you into him; while his lips placed a soft kiss to the side of your cheek. Thankfully your dad wasn't around to take notice of you unfolding into a stuttering mess.

Ever since that day, you were smitten by him. Always wondering how he was doing, if he might be seeing someone- but more importantly how his lips would feel elsewhere on your body. But you knew due to the age difference, as well as him being buddy-buddy with your dad, that nothing would ever happen between you two. So you did your best to just ignore him. Thankfully, you had college classes to aid you in your efforts. Though those efforts would soon come to an end.

Living in your own studio apartment, a few blocks away from campus, you were packing up your belongings to head back home. It was the end of your junior year and as per the agreement you made with your father, you had to leave D.C and head back to New York to spend time with him during the summer.

Going back to the city wasn't all that bad. Being the daughter of the Chief Financial Officer for Stark Industries had its perks. Your own personal driver, unlimited spending sprees, constant fine dining, you enjoyed the spoiled life.

But one thing you couldn't get used to was the endearing man who awaited you back in the city. You just couldn't shake the nervousness that filled your body knowing that you were going to reunite with Steve. He had this friendly, yet intimidating demeanor that always took you by surprise. The way he’d look at people, you swore he was searching into their souls in order to find some unspoken secret about themselves.

During the flight back home, leaving Howard University behind, your thoughts were continuously plagued with the blonde Adonis.

Once your plane landed, you made your way to baggage claim to grab your belongings before heading out to the terminal entrance. You stood there waiting for your usual driver, Peter, to come and pick you up as scheduled.

You were switching through apps on your phone when suddenly you noticed a black town car pull directly in front of you. Before you had the chance to move out the way, the backseat window pulled down, causing you to gasp at who was revealed to you.

“Everytime I see you, little one, you keep getting bigger and bigger. I’m gonna need to find you a new nickname.”

Steve beamed at you, the smile reaching his eyes. He reached for the door handle before stepping out of the vehicle, alongside his own driver. You were so focused on the man in front of you, you didn’t realize your luggage was being transported into the trunk.

“H-hi Steve,” your words fumbling out due to the effect he still had on you.

He peered down at you, both hands resting on his hips. “I haven’t seen you in months and all I get is a ‘hi’?” Before you could respond, he pulled you into him, your face buried into his firm chest. You absentmindedly breathed in his aroma, the scent of his cedarwood cologne made you feel dizzy with want.

Even in his usual attire of a three piece suit to assert his power as C.O.O, you could still feel the taut muscles of his abdomen pressing against you. The feeling made your clit throb, forcing you to suppress the moan threatening to bubble out.

Steve pulled away from you, but kept you close, close enough to where you could feel his warm breath fan across your face. “How was your flight? I know how you don’t like flying that much.”

“Everything was fine. Still a little anxious,” you began, not daring to look the blonde in his eyes, “but glad to be back on the ground.”

Steve noticed your lack of eye contact, a smirk trying to make its way across his features- because he knew all about your little crush on him.

Whenever you were back home from college, he couldn’t get enough of your wandering glances when you thought he wasn’t looking. The way your breathing would become erratic, your pupils blown, anytime he’d look directly into your eyes or down at your soft and enticing lips.

His flirtatious and intense demeanor was intentional- he just loved watching you squirm. The way your bottom lip would get caught in between your teeth, your thighs slyly rubbing together to try and quell the ache between them whenever he was in your presence. Your nervousness and obvious desire-filled gaze only spurred him on.

He knows that you’re his best friend's daughter, but his cock would strain against his pants anytime he was near you.

Steve would make sure to be there anytime you came back home from university, putting priorities on the back burner, just to be in your presence.

Hooking his index finger, he used it to tilt your chin up, forcing you to look up at him. “Don't worry little one, as long as you’re with me, you’ll be safe and sound,” he promised, his voice dropping an octave.

You stood there locked in a trance with Steve. You couldn’t help but audibly gasp at the proximity of his mouth near yours. Thoughts of how his lips would feel against yours ran through your mind as per usual.

Steve quickly pulled away from you and opened the car door, acting as if nothing had happened, “Well, as much as I’d like to spend some more time with just the two of us, your dad awaits.”

Snapping out of your perverse thoughts, you clambered into the vehicle with Steve following close behind.

Once inside, he ordered his driver to head to your fathers penthouse, then raised the partition, giving the two of you privacy.

You tried to keep your heart rate steady but was finding it difficult due to Steve being so close to you. His warmth radiated off of him, making you feel absolutely cozy in the confined space.

Steve watched as you stared out the window, the angle allowed him the glorious sight of your elongated neck. All he wanted to do was trace his lips against it, hearing your moans of desire.

Leaning over, he placed his palm against the back of your hand, the action making you jump.

He couldn’t control his chuckle at your reaction, “Sorry to scare you little one, just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You tried to respond, but the feel of his warm palm added with his thumb slightly stroking your hand had you at a loss of words. So you did the only thing you were confident you could do, and simply nodded at him.

The rest of the car ride to your father was silent, except for your slight heavy breathing. All you could focus on was the feel of his hand, and how it never left your own for the rest of the journey.

After arriving home, you reunited with your father, the moment brief due to him being called back into the office.

You made your way towards your childhood room to get changed for dinner that he had planned for your return that night.

Summer in Manhattan was humid, so you opted to wear a cream sundress, the silk material stopping right at your mid thigh.

When you were finally dressed, you went downstairs to meet Peter who would be escorting you to the restaurant. “Evening, Ms. Wilson,” the brunette squeaked towards you while holding the backseat door open.

“I’ve told you this a million times Peter, you can just call me (Y/N).”

“Sorry ma’am- (Y/N).” An apologetic look etched on his face made you smile.

It was only a five minute drive before you were stopped in front of the establishment. Once you stepped inside and gave your name to the hostess, you were directed towards the back of the restaurant. There your eyes landed on not one but two gentlemen.

“Hi dad,” you greeted your father with a kiss on the cheek, “Steve.”

With Sam in his presence, he had to restrain himself from reaching out to feel every inch of your delectable figure. So he kept it minimal and stuck to his usual greeting, a hand to the small of your back and a peck on the cheek. “Hey (Y/N). Sam offered for me to tag along, if that’s alright with you.”

Dinner went smoothly. The air filled with laughter and your father’s usual exaggerated stories. You were finishing up your dessert when your father slid an envelope towards you, showcasing a toothy smile.

“What’s this?” you pondered, thumbing the envelope open.

“Well, you finished junior year on the Dean’s List, again. So I thought you deserved this.”

Opening up the envelope, you reached inside and was greeted with airplane tickets. Looking at the details, you realized they were round trip tickets to Saint Lucia.

You couldn’t contain the squeal of excitement at the gift. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Launching up, you embraced your father and felt his own laughter rumble out of him.

“Don’t thank me, it was a team effort,” your father began, nudging the blonde in the shoulder, “We both thought you could use the vacation before you started senior year.”

Unlatching yourself, you went over and repeated the same actions towards Steve. “Thank you Steve.”

He felt your nipples through the thin fabric of your dress against his chest. The feeling made him desperate to know how they’d feel against his tongue. “It’s no problem, anything for you doll.”

Once you sat back down, you looked at the flight details and saw that there were 3 boarding passes. “Oh, are you coming with us Steve?” Hope clearly evident in your voice, making him smile.

“Yeah, just like you, I could use the break. Time away from the office is just what we need, right Sam?” Steve joked with your father while he nodded in agreement.

He watched Sam excuse himself to the bathroom, leaving the two of you at the table. Steve watched you as a smile was plastered on your face while you read the itinerary.

You felt an intense gaze on you making you look up, meeting Steve’s glance. “T-thank you again, Steve. I’ve always wanted to go here.”

Steve shone a sincere smile at your comment. Reaching out, he placed a hand against your exposed left thigh, his fingertips dangerously close to your core. He began to subtly stroke the soft expanse of your thigh, each rise getting closer to your warmth.

“Anything for my best girl,” he cooed, admiring the way his simple action had you frozen in your seat. “You stay in school, get amazing grades, you’re never in any trouble. Such a good girl for your father. I am so proud of you princess.”

The sudden praise that left his lips caused you to squeeze your knees together, trapping his fingers in between your thighs. You thought he was going to remove them, but he just squeezed the flesh between his hands. It was when you felt his pinky trace against the dampened crotch of your panties, that you let out a breathy moan. The sound raised the hairs across Steve’s body and made his dick twitch in his slacks.

Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Sam emerge from the bathrooms and head back towards them. Steve removed his hand and stroked his beard, acting as if nothing had happened.

“So (Y/N),” Sam began as he sat back down, “You thought about all the things you wanted to do once we’re down there?”

Steve watched as you tried to form a coherent sentence, still too flustered at his actions.

While you were conversing with your father, Steve brought the pad of his moist digit to his mouth, elusively tasting your essence that clung to his finger. It was only a drop, but your sweetness quickly sent him into a frenzy, and he knew he needed to taste you a little bit more.

It had been 3 weeks since that dinner and you were heading towards the airport, sitting next to your father. Your father insisted on taking a red eye flight so that you could arrive at Saint Lucia in the morning, planning for the sun to greet you when you all land on the island.

Once the two of you arrived and made your way inside, you were greeted with the sight of Steve.

Forgoing his usual attire of tailored suits, Steve was dressed in a pair of fitting blue jeans. A navy bomber jacket fit snug around his arms overtop a white tee that defined every ridge of his muscles underneath.

“You two ready to start our vacation?”

After dropping off your luggage and showing your boarding passes, the three of you made your way towards first class. Upon inspection, you saw that two seats were together in their enclosed space, leaving one to be seated by a stranger.

“I can sit with (Y/N),” Steve piped, “You know how anxious she gets when flying.”

“Thanks man,” your father said before turning to you. “It’ll only be a couple of hours, okay?”

You nodded along to your father, “Yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t you worry.”

Steve helped you put your carry on in the overhead compartment before sliding in beside you.

The exhausted flight attendants did their required monologues before the aircraft took off, lifting you into the sky.

You hadn’t realized your eyes were clamped shut and you were grasping onto the arm rest until Steve caressed your hand. “It’s okay princess, the hard part is over. You can relax now,” his smooth voice calmed your frayed nerves, allowing you to sink into the plush seats.

The stewardess began to pass out blankets to every occupant before powering down the overhead lights, the plane darkened only being lit with various phone and laptop screens from other passengers.

“These blankets are pretty big, do you wanna just share one?” Steve questioned, hopeful that you would say yes, which you did.

He draped the material over your lower half, making sure you had plenty of room before covering himself.

You sat up and looked towards your father, who was already fast asleep. “Of course he’s already down for the count. He can sleep through anything.”

Steve looked over to make sure his best friend was sound asleep before filthy thoughts plagued his mind.

“You know, if you want,” Steve began, leading his hand under the blanket to rest upon your bare thigh, “I know of a way that could get you to sleep soundly.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared up at the man. “Steve, I-“

“Shh, princess. Don’t want to wake him up now do we?”

You shook your head at him while trying to not squeeze your thighs once more.

“I know all about your little crush on me. You think I can’t tell how wet I make you with just a simple look.” Steve began to caress your thigh making your body feel hot from his touch.

“You can’t even look at me without turning into a stuttering mess,” he mocked you, his teasing touch sending shockwaves throughout your body.

He leaned towards you, his lips ghosting along the shell of your ear while his breath danced along the nape of your neck. “Y’know, you may be a smart and studious girl, but to me you’ll just be a dumb little slut that I have wrapped around my finger.”

A loud gasp escaped your lips at his crude words before you could clamp your hand over your mouth.

Steve removed his hand from you once more causing a pathetic whine to leave you, but still maintaining his close proximity. Looking up at him with pleading eyes, you silently begged him to keep his previous motions going.

“If you want it, I need to hear you say it,” he whispered to you, “Beg for it.”

Your chest rapidly rose and fell due to the events unfolding. This was the moment you’ve been waiting for for years, now that you finally have it, you weren’t going to pass it up.

“Please, Steve. I need you. Please touch me.”

Upon hearing your pleas, Steve twisted his body to bring his left hand down towards your legs, his right hand intertwining with yours. Moving his hand underneath your skirt, he was met with the same wetness he felt back in the restaurant.

“Be quiet, don’t make a sound, or I’m removing my hand and you’ll have to finish yourself off, do you understand me?” his authoritative voice had you nodding in a frenzy.

Steve slipped his finger into your panties, pushing them to the side so he could open you up to him. “Spread your legs for me some more.”

Complying with his request, you spread your legs as wide as possible in your chair.

“Good girl,” he purred, “Always so good for me.”

Your right hand flew to your mouth once again to suppress the moans threatening to escape. Steve’s index finger traced through your slick folds until it reached your puffy mound. He softly circled your clit, smiling as he felt you buck into his touch.

“Such a needy little thing, I’m guessing it’s been a long time since somebody’s touched this sweet cunt, huh?”

Steve felt your body stiffen at his words. Looking up, he watched you avoid his eye contact and that’s when reality struck him. “Oh.”

Steve knew that you had always focused on schoolwork, never seeking out romantic partnership. But he assumed that would've changed once you had gone off to college and was free of your fathers watchful eye.

“Let me guess, saving yourself for me princess?” Steve joked.

It was true. Whenever you thought about getting intimate with someone, your thoughts would be riddled with images of Steve. You could never see yourself laying down with anyone else but him, so you wishfully held on to your virginity, in hopes of this rare moment occurring.

Forcing yourself to look into his crystal blue eyes, you meekly responded, “Yes Steve, all for you.”

Carnal desire flooded the man at your confession.

He cupped your heat with his entire hand, soaking his palm in your juices. “Fuck princess, I can’t wait to ruin you.”

You felt a slight pressure at your opening, causing you to squirm away in your seat. “It’s alright, doll, just relax for me.”

Taking a deep breath, you calmed your nerves.

Steve soaked his digits more in your essence before sticking his thick index finger in your sopping hole. He was met with obvious resistance which he powered through until meeting your spongy spot deep within.

“Oh fuck, Steve,” you breathlessly moaned out.

“I know sweetheart,” Steve cooed in your ear, “Feels so good, doesn’t it? Feels like heaven having my finger deep inside your tight cunt.”

He continued to pump his digit inside of you, the muffled sounds of your squelching heat brought a smile to his face.

You felt every ridge of his finger inside of you. It was a strange feeling at first, but the way he was curling it had your eyes crossing. The discomfort faded away, now all you wanted was more. “Please Steve,” you pleaded out.

“Aww princess, do you need more of Daddy's fingers fucking your filthy cunt?”

You did everything in your power not to scream out your pleas to the man next to you. “Yes, Daddy. I need more.”

Steve's cock was already testing the material of his briefs, but the way ‘Daddy’ rolled off your tongue had him close to ruining his jeans.

Not giving you any warning, he shoved his middle finger alongside your heat. A loud moan made its way into the air, halting his actions.

The two of you rapidly looked around, hoping that no one heard you. Steve looked forward at Sam and sighed in relief when he saw he was still fast asleep.

“Looks like fun time is over sweetheart,” he sighed before he began to remove himself from you. His actions were halted when he felt your hand latch onto his wrist.

“Please don't stop. I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to!”

Steve shook his head, “Princess, I had the one rule and your dumb brain couldn't even follow that.” Frustration was evident in his hushed tone.

You were riddled with so much need and desire that tears threatened to fall from your eyes. “Please, I’ll be good. I promise.”

He didn’t want to stop, not after he saw how hot you looked when he was stroking your g-spot. But he needed to make sure you didn’t disobey him again. Pretending to ponder his thoughts, he looked at you, “Fine, but you only get one more chance. Okay, princess?”

You frantically nodded, desperate for him to resume his lewd actions.

“Good girl,” grinned the blonde, “but I just need to do one more thing to make sure not a peep comes out.”

Steve moved his hand to the top of your panties before tugging at them. He raised an eyebrow, a silent request sent your way to lift your ass from the seats to assist his efforts. Once the flimsy material was down your legs, he brought them out from under the blankets and balled them into his fist. “Open up.”

Opening up your jaw, you watched as he stuffed your wet panties into your mouth, muffling all sounds that dared to come out.

Looking up at Steve, you could barely see his face but you could see that his pupils were completely blown out, almost all of the usual blue gone.

“Now, where were we?”

Not wanting to waste anymore time, he shoved the two digits back into your cunt, a slight burn ran through your core.

His pace was brutal, desperate even. Steve needed to watch you unravel before him. He needed to be the first man to make you cum; glad that you never let any of those young college boys try- and inevitably fail, at helping you reach your peak.

Steve felt you lace your fingers back with his free hand and squeeze, in an effort to try and balance yourself.

“That’s it baby, you’re doing such a good job for me.”

Feeling daring, he prodded his ring finger and sank it within you along with the others. “Oh fuck, baby. Your pussy is squeezing the life out of my fingers, can’t even imagine how it’ll feel once I get my cock inside of you.”

The tears that filled your eyes prior began to fall due to the immense pleasure you were experiencing. “Mhm, ughh,” you tried speaking but it only came out of a mumbled mess.

“Don’t overwork that stupid brain of yours baby. Just focus on cumming on my fingers, that’s all you need to worry about right now.”

Steve could tell you were close with how your walls were contracting against him, so he went all in, in an effort to get you creaming around his fingers.

Raising his thumb, he applied just the right amount of pressure to your little numb and began circling it.

The insane amount of glee you began to feel was indescribable. Your head tilted back, your eyes crossed, your thighs that began to close were suddenly held back Steve’s legs, leaving you helpless against his attacks.

Steve noticed dribbles of drools leak from the side of your mouth, a cheshire-like smile had his cheeks sting at the expanse.

Leaning directly until his lips ghosted your ear once more, he softly spoke.

“That’s it baby.”

“Be a good girl and cum on Daddy’s fingers.”

“Once you cum on my fingers, the next time it’ll be wrapped around my thick cock.”

“Don’t think, let your mind go dumb like it’s supposed to.”

“Cause that’s all you really are, right?”

“My dumb. Mindless. Little. Slut.”

The newfound sensation hit you like a truck. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull. Your toes curled in your platforms. Nose, eyes, and mouth contorting, trying to work through your orgasm.

Steve picked up on a scream about to escape you, so he unlaced his fingers from yours and clasped his hand over your mouth, preventing you from waking up the whole plane.

Locking his eyes with yours, he continued to finger fuck you through your release. “That’s it. That's it, princess. You did so well for me.”

As you came down from your high, the feeling started to become too much, overstimulation taking hold. You began to squirm away from his touch, causing him to chuckle before removing his digits.

When he brought his hand out from under the blanket, you saw his fingers soaked in your essence, shining from the stray lights littered across the plane.

Steve popped his index and middle finger into his mouth, groaning at your sweet taste; his eyes shutting in the process. “You taste so fucking delicious,” he mumbled through his fingers.

You watched as he lapped every drop of your juices from his digits before he looked back at you.

He took away his hand from your mouth and pulled out your soaked panties. “Here, have a taste,” Steve spoke before shoving his ring finger down your throat.

You were caught off guard due to the sudden intrusion, but regained your senses while sucking yourself off of his finger. Your tongue glided across the digit, gulping down your essence.

Steve watched with contentment as you cleaned him up. He saw how your eyelids were hooded, indicating you were exhausted from your release.

Pulling his finger from your mouth, he grasped your jaw to direct your face to his, his thumb wiping away your stray tears. “I hope you know I plan on taking you apart every chance I get during this trip, princess. Now get some sleep, we have a big week ahead of us.”

Leaning back into his chair, he stuffed your panties into his jeans and laid his head against the headrest.

You were so overwhelmed with fatigue that you had no trouble getting to sleep. Resting your head against the blondes shoulder, you drifted away, a content smile on your face.

Steve sat back and enjoyed your warmth; forcing himself to forget all about his own aching and leaking cock. He knew there was no going back now. He had a taste of you and instantly became hooked. Just like he ruined all men for you, you ruined all other women for him.

With his thoughts filled with you, he let sleep consume him and the promise of an eventful trip with you by his side.

A/N: i wrote this when i should’ve been finishing my 9 other wips, but here we go. y’all know in crazy rich asians, how they had the semi private enclosed seats. that’s where this takes place.

if you enjoyed this fic, please make sure to reblog and comment. feedback is much appreciated !

i do not allow the copying, rewriting or translating of my fics. these are works of my own and i do not give permission for any of the acts stated above.

* dividers credit : @firefly-graphics *

[elsewhereuniversity]

No one ever told me it would be so lonely on campus. 

I got my own dorm this year because whoever was supposed to be my roommate decided not to attend. So, the first time I had to live away from home, I ended up living entirely on my own. I only took gen-eds this year, and those classes coupled with the college credits I had built up from taking dual-credit and AP courses in high school means that I’ll have all of my general educational requirements taken care of, and I can focus entirely on my chosen major next fall. But, with all this focus on getting my classwork done and battling the slew of technical difficulties I've been plagued with for years now, I haven't had the opportunity to make any friends.

The gen-ed classes are always full of people trying to fill a requirement, hundreds in a lecture hall all wanting to just take notes and go home. The professors don’t care to encourage class interaction; these courses are supposed to be a foundation, not the peak, and there is a lot of groundwork to cover for those that are unfamiliar to the subject. I frequently raised my hand and participated in class, but I cannot say the same about my classmates. And I’ve always been shy; definitely too shy to approach a veritable stranger to talk about what? A subject neither of us truly care about? 

The point is, I'm lonely. Painfully lonely, in my dorm room with one made bed and an empty bedframe, eating my meals by my lonesome at a table for two in the cafeteria, walking between classes with my eyes geared towards my feet. Achingly lonely, yearning for the affection of a hug from the owner of that voice on the phone, a lifeline home. 

At twilight, sitting alone on a low stone wall dividing the campus path from a grove of trees, my loneliness eats at me. It grips at me, contracting my diaphragm and forcing air out through my nose, body going through the motion of a sob and curling over a little.  

I'm just so sad. So soul-searingly sad. Alone, insignificant, and sad. The thought comes to my mind for the first time, ripping through my brain until it’s the only thing in my head: 

‘I'm lonely. Please love me.’ 

I felt those two phrases with every ounce of my body, tears pricking at my eyes. And finally, the cure comes. 

Rustling grass, dissimilar enough from the sound of wind playing with the grass to be identified as footsteps, walk up behind me. I can hear them, but I don’t move because I don’t care. Instead of another student hopping the wall to continue on their way or even someone asking me what was wrong, a body draped itself over my own. I didn’t even panic; my body froze in surprise for a moment, but then the pure comfort of being held hit me, and I didn’t care about anything else. 

I started sobbing in earnest, sitting on that stone wall, as limbs came around me and a chin set itself on my shoulder. A hug. What I so very desperately needed. The appendages wrapped around me more closely resembled arm-shaped voids than normal arms, and the chin felt more like it belonged to a snout than a human’s jaw, but I was beyond caring. My classmates (chatting with their friends) mentioned that there were fantastical things at Elsewhere, but I always took it as pure superstition and campus rumor, however fervently it was believed. If this was my proof of worlds beyond my own, so be it. 

I bent my elbows, trying desperately to tug the arms closer to my heart, and they obligingly tightened their embrace, making my cry even harder. I just closed my eyes at this point; even if they were open the amount of tears I was shedding coupled with the waning light meant I wouldn’t be able to see anyway. The loneliness was trickling out of my body, slowly being replaced by gratitude to whomever cared enough about one random college student to give them a hug. 

A pang of self-deprecation hit me, and, almost in response to it, one of the arms slid further down, pinning my own arms against my sides as they held me tighter up against their chest, one arm across my own chest and the other around the level of my navel. I felt safe and loved in this being’s arms, feeling oddly like a mix between a toddler and a teddy bear, but in a comforting way. The pit of loneliness drained even faster, and the snout nuzzled against the side of my neck, cool scales against tear-sticky skin. 

The magnitude of my crying died down a little, though I still kept my eyes closed to at least try to stem the flow of tears. I blindly felt it as the limbs wrapped around me changed. The arms themselves didn’t change, but out of them grew what I could only assume to be wings, leathery and soft brushing against my hands. I was swaddled in a blanket made from the figure behind me and their suddenly-appearing wings. 

And I felt loved. 

Loneliness no longer ruined me in that moment. The last remaining purple light of twilight faded into darkness and I felt my own awareness fading into slumber. My mysterious savior began to gently rock us back and forth. I still sat on the low wall and they still bent over me from behind, but it felt like I was being cradled in their arms. And I fell asleep. 

And now, waking up in my once-lonely dorm room, an inky arm (sans wings) curled over me and a scaly snout nosing at the back of my neck, I feel nothing but loved.

x