#and i like seeing characters in a horror setting actually be NICE to each other

[hikaaa-bi]

okay but alice helping gwen pick up the broken mug while trying to comfort her by relating with a similar story of her own is the most endearing shit ever

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Shy One

Inspired by this post; in the same universe as this and this

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

Summary: a night out ends in an embarrassing encounter.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

It feels like you’re seeing the world through tinted glass. The low lights, the buzz of voices, and the subtle clink of glasses feed the haze around you. That and the cocktail in your hand. Just ice now. Your second. You’re surprised how easily it went down. 

“Want another?” Mikayla asks as you play with the thin straw. 

“Maybe not yet,” you shrug. 

She grins at Alina, “lightweight?” 

The other women laugh. You’re too embarrassed to admit it but you are. In fact, it’s the first time you’ve ever tasted alcohol. If they don’t mock you for confessing, they wouldn’t believe you. 

“So happy you came out,” Katy grins. 

“Yeah, too bad you didn’t make the work mixer last month,” Lu says. 

“Hm, yeah, I just... I couldn’t make it,” you chew your lip. 

“Mmm, Mik,” Katy purrs, “you seeing what I’m seeing?” 

Katy tilts her head and Mikayla follows her gaze. Alina and Lu do the same and you dare to peek after them. There’s a table of men across the bar. There timbre forms a dulcet drone amid the din. 

“Sexy, look at that beard.” Alina slithers 

“Which one?” Lu giggles. 

You shift and look down at your glass. You wrap both your hands around it and squirm. They said it was just work drinks. You don’t want to be dealing with strangers. 

“Oh, honey, loosen up,” Alina grabs your starched collar and pops the top button. “You have another one of those and you’ll be dancing on the table.” 

“Um,” you lean away from her, “maybe. Erm, I need to go to the restroom.” 

“Boo, too early to break the seal,” Katy whines. 

“Sorry,” you apologise and stand. 

You take your glass with you and as you turn, you stop short as your eyes meet another pair. One of the men from the crowded table catches you in his gaze. You gulp and quickly lower your chin. You hurry on to the bar and set your empty glass on it. 

“Thanks,” you say. 

“Oh, thanks,” the man behind it swipes it away. “The waitress coulda grabbed that.” 

“Oh, now worries,” you show a palm and turn to find the restroom. 

You head down the hallway behind the bright blue sign. You dip into the ladies and claim a stall. As nice as it is to release the pressure, it’s even nicer to get a breather. You’re not the bar type. Not a drinker or a dancer, as much as Alina keeps suggesting it. You’re a total square. Thirty years old and you’ve never done anything more fun than laser tag. 

You wash your hands and leave the bathroom reluctantly. The music seems louder as you come out, the voices too. As you enter the barroom, you slow down. You’re mortified to find Alina and Katy in the open space, dancing. Grinding against each other. 

You stand there, frozen and embarrassed. The other women at the table cheer them on lewdly. You don’t know what to do. Sitting with Lu and Mikayla would draw as much attention as joining the dancing. This doesn’t seem like the place for that. 

Maybe it’s time for you to go. You’re feeling a bit cloudy and your eyes are fuzzy. You’ve been up since five in the morning. 

You slowly cross the space but have to dodge as Alina spins out and nearly crashes into you. In an effort to avoid her, you hit the side of a table, bouncing off of it and staggering until you fall onto something soft. Thank gosh you managed to find a seat in your descent. 

“Mmph,” the grunt greets you with the firm cushion beneath you, “y’alright, doll?” 

You look over in horror at the man who’s lap you sit upon. How embarrassing!! You look around at the other men at the table as it dawns on you. This is the worst crash landing you can imagine. 

You gasp and peer back at the man who serves as your chair. He’s terrifyingly handsome. His eyes are so blue and his jaw is chiseled beneath his dark beard. His brown hair curtains down around his cheekbones and his cheek dimples in amusement. 

“I’m so sorry,” you wriggle against him as he spreads his large hand across your back. “I tripped. I didn’t man to—oh gosh.” 

You touch your scalding forehead and try to shimmy out of his lap. It’s useless as you can’t get much of a stronghold. You just manage to ground your butt down on him. 

“You okay there?” He runs his fingertips up your spine and sends a shiver through you. 

“I’m--- sorry!” You gulp out again. “Please, I’m--” you grab the corner of the table and manage to haul yourself up. “I’m so...” you shake your head and bluster. You’re burning in humiliation. You can feel the other men watching you. “Ugh.” 

You turn and scurry around Alina and Katy. You quickly gather up your purse and coat as the women at the table laugh. “Oh, honey, why don’t you give him a nice ride,” Lu teases. 

You blanch at her and makes a face, “I didn’t mean to--” 

“Oh, chill,” Mikayla chides. “Really, it was funny. Where are you going?” 

“Home,” you exclaim. “Stop laughing at me. You’ve been laughing at me all night.” 

Lu scoffs, “well, you’re a bit silly, aren’t you? Act like you’ve never touched a man or a drink before.” 

You frown and flutter your lashes against the singe of hot tears. This is why you always say no. Why you are always ‘busy’. You don’t fit in. You’re better off alone. 

You hug your coat and bag and hurry across the bar. You push through the door and stagger out into the night with a sniffle. Oh joy, work is going to be even worse. Now they’re going to sit around and cackle at you instead of Wendy and her tacky dresses. 

You look around, searching for your bearings. You need to find a cab and get out of here. You see once coming down the pavement. You shift your things into one arm and throw your other up. The taxi steers towards the sidewalk but picks up another pedestrian further down. 

You huff and crane in search of another escape. 

“Hey, doll,” a rocky voice calls over the hinges of the bar door. “Where’re you off to?” You continue to peer down the street, frightened as you feel a gentle nudge on your elbow, “hey, talking to you. You didn’t even give me a name after you sat right on me.” 

You flinch and reel away from him, “huh? What? Oh, I’m sorry. That was just... clumsy.” 

“Ah, it’s fine. Really. It was funny,” he assures you. “I’m not making fun of you. Just, a pretty girl falls right in my lap then runs away, I kinda gotta wonder...” 

“Umph?” You furrow your brow, “you’re making fun of me too.” 

“Why would I do that?” He tilts his head. “Come back inside. Let me by you a drink.” You shake your head and wave your hand past him at another yellow cab. He chuckles softly, “you don’t gotta be shy.” 

“I don’t know you,” you insist. 

“I’m tryna fix that,” he counters. 

“Really, I just wanna go home,” you whine as the taxi drives by without stop. 

“Right, let’s do that,” he turns and throws his hand up. He whistles and wiggles his fingers. A cab rolls right up to him. “Let’s go.” 

He opens the back door and stands back. You stare at it. 

“Thanks,” you sigh in relief. You get in, ducking through the door, greeting the driver with a polite, “hello.” 

Yet the door doesn’t close. Instead, you’re urged further inside by the man as he sits on the seat next to you. You slide over as he pulls the door shut behind him. 

“Tell him where we’re going, doll,” he commands. 

You look at him, then the driver. You’re too stunned to think. What is he doing? You give your address and curl your shoulders as you shrink down. 

“Now,” the man stretches his arm across the seat, “we got the whole ride to get to know each other,” he offers his other hand, “I’m Bucky, I hear I make a pretty comfy seat.” 

You can’t help half a smile. You reach and shake his hand. You suppose he did help you out and he doesn’t seem angry about your unceremonious fall. You give him your name. 

“Thanks,” you say again. 

“Thanks? Oh doll, what kinda fool wouldn’t help a girl like you?” 

[nickssidewitch]

👾🕹️ List of Games the Triplets Should Play if They Stream Again 🕹️👾

Can y’all share this everywhere if you like my list because I’m sick of Fortnite-only streams and I damn well do not want to constantly see Roblox…

Obviously no hate to Fortnite because yass kings grind 😤💪🏾‼️. But like… let’s switch it up a lil’ bit, boys. Get sexy idk.

Horror🔪

💉 Outlast: Horror. Thee scariest game on this list!!! Great story, but even if you’re not interested in the story, the gameplay is interesting and nostalgic. May be a bit jumpscare-y at times. Not too much gore, but enough to make the spine tingle.

🧸 Five Nights at Freddy’s: Horror. Honestly, I highly doubt they’d actually play this because it’s probably the second scariest game on this list and they don’t seem like they could handle it. But, a one-off stream of this game would be nice idk. If they do, I’d suggest the first and second ones because they are good, Otherwise, the third one is ass, and the fourth one is way too scary. The other installments are forgettable (no shade 🥱).

🌙 Little Nightmares: (Mild) Horror. One of my personal favorite games. Right amount of scares, but definitely nothing like Outlast or FNAF. The main character is literally the cutest little thing!

🌺 Poppy Playtime: Horror. Similar to FNAF in the sense that you’re in a world where childhood characters come to life wnd become murderous villains, but the story is incredibly unique and eye-catching. There are a few Gaming YouTuber surprises in there as well.

🩸 Fears to Fathom series: Horror. This series is an indie gaming community favorite! Real-life people sent in submissions of their actual true experiences, and the developer made each story into actual games! I love the simple retro feel of the design, and the stories are very intriguing especially since they are all true stories.

🧟‍♂️ The Walking Dead: Horror, Story, Action, Adventure, Apocalyptic. The hype for this game never dies (imo)! Matt would absolutely fall in love with this story and its characters!! I feel like it would definitely cement his love for TWD as a whole. And if he ever played the Michonne DLC?? omg. Someone get this man to play TWD! Chris and Nick would love it too I feel.

Story 📖

📸 Life Is Strange: Story. A story-based decision game series. You play as young adults who have special powers that develop through difficult life experiences. Each game delves into different aspects of sexuality, love, mental health, and other real-life experiences. I’d like if they played only the first one, but the other games are also pretty cool if they like the first story.

🌄 Until Dawn: Horror, Story. A story-based decision game set u like a classic “cabin in the woods” thriller… with a twist. There’s a new remake as well, so that adds a bonus point to the overall enjoyment and the hype of the experience.

🤖 Detroit Become Human: Story, Sci-Fi. I know the hype for this game is gone, but I need it! The world is set in the future where robots and androids roam the Earth amongst humans. It’s such a great story with great graphics. And every single one of the choices matter. I feel like they’d genuinely enjoy it if they immersed in it.

😷 The Last of Us: Horror, Sci-fi, Story. It’s the game that inspired the TV show. I personally think the game is better than the show, but I digress. Great story, the best characters with such various traits.

🐈 Stray: Adventure, Sci-fi, Puzzle. (This is more for Matt than anyone else lowkey highkey). You play as a stray cat, but it’s more than just a cat simulator— it’s a journey set in the future. Everyone, but especially Matt, would love this. Very great graphics. Pretty calm, but can definitely get the heart racing at times. Will pull at the heartstrings.

Miscellaneous 👾

🍄 Mario Kart / Mario Party: Multiplayer, Party. This is a given 🤷🏾‍♀️

☠️ Dead By Daylight: Multiplayer, Horror. When Nick’s computer is finally fixed, they can all play together and probably even get some friends (or play online).

💎 The Sims: Simulation. Honestly, this can be like a game they play ironically. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I just wanna see them argue about how to customize their characters.

🌚 Among Us: Multiplayer. They’ve played it before both online and with fans, but I’d love if they played some rounds that were more organized with real-life friends and maybe even their mods/subscribers on Twitch!

🔫 Call of Duty (any of them): Shooter, Action. Literally just wanna see how good they are since they were flexing in that one stream they did a while back. 😒 Like where’s the proof?

🤺 Mortal Kombat: Fighting, Action. Any of the recent additions. I don’t need Story Mode if they don’t care to know the lore! I just wanna see them beat tf outta each other ��� ! Nick playing as Mileena would be a gag! 🤷🏾‍♀️

🦸🏻‍♂️ Injustice 2: Fighting, DC Universe. It’s similar to Mortal Kombat, but just set in the DC universe with characters like Batman, Harley Quinn, etc. I think made by the same developers as MK? Wanna see them beat each other up.

🎰 Liar’s Bar: Multiplayer, Gambling (not actually, but—). You play as up to four characters. You get cards in your hands. It’s up to you whether you play truthfully, or lie and place whatever cards you want all without getting caught. And if you get caught, now you gotta survive a round of russian roulette. It’s actually so fun for a few rounds if you have a good party.

Please share this across platforms! I’d love that! I really wanna see them at least try some things from this list. It’d make my little gamer heart so happy 😭 And I’m sure the other fans who like videogames as well would agree.

And I’m sure the boys would definitely appreciate the ideas since they seem open to them. 🥰🤍

[fairystarstorm]

Thinking about what's going wrong with Arcane s2

I have not finished s2 yet (still need to finish act 3 but basically got all the major spoilers). I feel like a big problem with this season and why the Z vs P conflict fizzled out is that so many characters are simply not in the that narrative anymore. Especially since they all had interesting stories to explore in regards to it. And if they are apart of the plot line, the things that would make things more interesting are simply ignored.

Taken from the narrative

Heimdinger: the founder of the city realising that the society he built ain't shit and that he failed Zaun by not helping to uplift and protect them (instead of just picking out a pupil from Zaun and calling it a day). All that Talk about how destructive magic could be in the wrong hands while realising he build a society filled with those exact wrong hands because of his inaction. Him actually putting in the work to change and dismantle those structures and belief systems that he allowed to grow in the first place

Jace: He goes against his own morals once again to build weapons for Caitlyn and her team. But we get none of the introspection or the regret that should have gone with it. Why because he is off in an alternative reality fighting for his life. He finds out that Hextech is poisoning Ekko's tree and there's nothing more to that conversation?? If something had gone wrong with the core it could have destroyed Zaun? Something could have happened that could have disabled or killed many others like it did with Viktor. But let's gloss over it. Him reconciling with his actions as a councilor??? That kid really was just a blip in his life i guess.

Viktor: a big problem I feel with Viktor's character is that he can feel very removed from Zaun at times. Like we never got to see his horror about Hextech being used against his people. We never got to know about any family or how he actually felt about being resurrected. What his plan was for Zaun beyond making a little commune. A huge part of that is also because they barely let this man have meaningful interactions with anyone in s2 besides ghost Sky and Jace. Vi, Jinx, Vander and Isha going to his commune could have been a possibility for that. Because even though I do believe that Vander and him did not know each other personally, I don't think he would not have known of him. Also we barely hear him talk meaningfully about his identity as a Zaunite in Piltover

Ekko (and the firelights in general): In my opinion the biggest snub. The others character arcs were mostly about other things in s1 (piltover politics, hextech etc.) but Ekko's whole motivation was to protect his ppl from both the enforcers and Silco. However we didn't get to see him deal with the rise of enforcers in the undercity or Sevika being the one to try and unite Zaun. We didn't get to see him grapple with the fact that Vi became an enforcer or that he was wrong to place his trust in Caitlyn. And even though I love how ep7 is highlighting his good qualities I wish they were explored in his timeline. Him being there would have also allowed for more spotlights for the firelights and Zaunites in general. None of the other people in the cast (Except for Vander) are as involved with regular people in Zaun then he was. It makes Zaun feel less complex and lived in beyond the visuals.

Mel: Considering that they are setting up her mother as the true big bad (which flattened the Z vs P conflict + general bad writing surrounding ambessa which i won't discuss now), it would have been nice to have her be able to react. Like in the beginning of the season we get it a little bit with Mel using spies to figure out her mother's plans. We could have had her realise that Piltover is not fundamentally different from Noxus because of how easy it was for her mother to take over. Only that the violence they dish out is different between the 2 cities. We could have had her sit that in both cases she is part of the oppressive class and that she was only acting out of self interest rather than actually caring about these issues. Instead of her being Kidnapped to get powers, let her finish the story arch that had been set up for her in s1.

Underexplored

Sevika (And Jinx): her involvement with Silco and how that is seen by Zaunites that are not chembarons. Ppl being unwilling to trust or listen to Sevika pleading for united Zaun when she was apart of Silco's operations make sense. Silco brought shimmer into Zaun. Ekko says that a lot of the firelights joined because of how it ruined their lives. Sevika having to struggle with her role in it and how it ultimately makes it harder for the to reach her goal would have been satisfying! Also her showing up after episode 4 would have been nice in general. Also same with ekko, she was the only one who was reaching out and communicating with different groups of Zaun. She and Ekko were windows into Zaun society that they just kept closed for some reason.

Vi: Just everything man.... her trauma, her choosing to be an enforcer, her alcoholism... her relationship with Jinx/powder, her guilt, her role as protector who seems to be failing no matter what she does. All kinda of flushed through the drains for caitvi to be able to exist (yes i dislike caitvi, no i also don''t really care for jayvik or timebomb and i am also a lesbian).

Jinx: I thinks she has been done quite well so far but I have heard for how her arch ends and it is just bad..... also wished they explored Isha more and what Vander coming back would mean for Jinx

Caitlyn: wish they would actually put the responsibility of her actions onto her instead of Ambessa/Jinx killing her mom. Also the fact it was never addressed that even in s1 she was microagressive as fuck towards Zaunites. Yes she eventually saw the need for independence (after talking to Ekko mind you) but does that mean anything if when she was in power due was actively making things worse for Zaun. She could have started working kn redeeming herself but the fact that the narrative/the writers don't want to put the full blame on her just makes that idea seem laughable

Tbh a lot of it has to do with the fact that the writers didn't let characters interact with each other for long periods of time or deal with the consequences of their actions but hey at least the coplesbians fucked and the scientists had their madoka magica moment

[alleunwalk]

because of how sad jujutsu kaisen has been i've been thinking what if they were just all actors and this was just one big drama series/movie.  I CAN DREAM OK?!

jjk actor au 

itadori: he's pretty much the same off-camera and on-camera. just generally so nice and kind to everyone on set. extremely good at remembering his lines last minute (gg photographic memory). always buys the hair/makeup and stylists coffee.  megumi: extremely loud, bubbly, and a total goofball. often breaks character just from laughing so much.  nobara: shes more soft-spoken, dainty and gentle off-camera but she's still a girlboss in her own way. shes a popstar/idol when she's not acting.  gojo: he's surprisingly a lot more reserved off-camera than on-camera but he can be goofy with his castmates, especially geto's actor. loves mentoring and giving advice to rookie actors.  geto: he's a lot louder and extraverted off-camera but put him in a room with gojo and they will literally pop off. the directors and crew groan when they see them together tbd. he and gojo's actor actually used to hate each other back in the day but they became the best of buds during the first tableread. their chemistry on-screen though constantly blows everyone away.  nanami: another goofball off-camera. known for his superior range. played in movies ranging from comedy, horror, and heart-tugging romance. put him in a room with gojo and geto and it ends up being immense chaos that the staff loses their minds. 

*the three of them can not take an interview seriously but they're all known to be extremely A-list top of the top actors in the industry who all have won awards. 

utahime: consider her like the 90s superstar actress of her generation. she started acting since she was a child. just superior all around and an absolute legend. cares for the younger cast very dearly.  shoko: another legend to walk among the set. was also a runway model. she's extremely smart off-camera too and was known to go to a prestigious university. hangs out with utahimes actress a lot.  *all of the cast get shook when they come on set-- the power these women hold is just unmatched. the beauty, grace and class they hold.... 

you can basically think that gojo, geto, nanami, utahime, shoko, sukuna, and toji are all just academy award winning legends among their generation. 

sukuna: his personality is pretty similar to yuji off-camera. just super sweet and kind. was amazed the casting directors found someone who looked just like him as a kid. loves joking around with yuji. breaks character a lot too because yuji keeps making him laugh.  toji: the cast tends to joke about how he could look like megumis real dad. loves telling dad jokes-- which only megumi ends up laughing at for real. (he calls him dad as a joke during cast interviews.) 

maki: a lot more reserved off-camera. gives off really chic vibes and everyone is intimidated by her cool, suave personality. started her career off as a model.  mai: also reserved, just like her sister. they're both pretty introverted off-camera and tend to keep to themselves but hangs out with nobara's actress a lot on the weekends as a trio. they love shopping and going to cool restaurants together.  inumaki: loves pulling pranks on people and filming tiktoks behind set. this kid doesn't take anything seriously but that's what people love about him.  panda: under the panda costume/CG effects is a guy who's just stellar at voice acting but people get shocked by how handsome he is when he doesn't have the costume on. super silly with inumaki and often joins his pranks.  yuta: similar to itadori- his character is the same on/off camera that people can't tell if he's acting. really famous for acting in a lot of melodramas.  todo: HUGEEE nerd and softie off-camera. is the biggest scaredy cat on set hence he's the main target for all the pranks when the cast pulls them (cough* inumaki). loves collecting plushies as a hobby. would not hurt a fly. him and yuji really did become best friends irl. miwa: down-to-earth, just very sweet. pretty much the same on/off camera. she's good at crying on command.  muta: he's very talkative and just loves chatting with anyone and everyone on set. he wants to know everyones life story. just super genuine. like his character, he has a huge crush on miwa.  kamo: SUPERRRR clumsy off-camera. he's always accidentally slipping on the fake blood or dropping something. it's okay though, he just laughs it off.  momo: tends to sit in her trailer and plays video games when it's downtime. very laissez faire about everything but that's what makes her so easy to work with.

mahito: extremely serious off-camera. only keeps things professional. doesn't mess around when it comes to work. doesn't have any bloopers when it comes to his scenes. he's a really nice guy though when you get to know him. choso: golden retriever energy. super talkative and loves getting to know people just like muta. he remembers really endearing memories about people. asks staff members how they're doing and checks up on them. loves hanging out with yuji on the weekends. 

[kallie-den]

Cerulean

A recent escapee attends a support group for victims of evil mind control… run by the strange, sinister and inimitable Dr. Amaranth Cerulean

Special thanks to @dollzcomix for this commission, and for allowing me to write about Dr. Cerulean! They are a character of Demoiselle Porcelaine's creation, and I highly encourage you to check out her socials for all of her wonderful artwork of Dr. Cerulean - who truly is inimitable, and whose creator brings across their unique charm better than I ever could

If you like my writing, please consider supporting me on Patreon!  For less than the price of a cup of coffee each month, you can get immediate, early access to everything I write - 4 pieces of hypno-smut a  month, including the latest chapters of all the multi-chapter stories I write. Your support helps me keep writing and is greatly appreciated <3

---

The support group was nice… kind of. In theory. It had sounded nice, anyway, when Mariah had found out about it online. A pop-up ad, of all things, accompanied by a garish animation and a picture of the strange-looking psychiatrist who ran it, and written all in lower-case: ‘villain hypnosis victim support group’. Obviously, Mariah’s first instinct had been to dismiss it as some kind of weird internet con, but then she’d had second thoughts. Was there really a support group for people who’d been through what she had? Could other people actually understand the way she was feeling? If so, wasn’t that worth taking a chance on?

That was how she’d ended up in an untidy, rented office space on the side of the highway after dark.

It both was and wasn’t the kind of atmosphere Mariah had expected. A bunch of chairs set out in a circle. People sitting on them, sharing their stories. Strung up on one wall was a big banner that read ‘Mind Control and What Comes After: A Support Group to Find Yourself Again After Being Brainwashed’ in brightly colored but slightly faded letters. Mariah appreciated the stab at an upbeat atmosphere, but the attendeess simply weren’t up to the task.

They all just seemed so completely and utterly harrowed. Mariah sympathized, of course. She knew the ashamed, traumatized, hollowed-out look on each of their faces all too well. She saw in the mirror every morning. But she’d been hoping to see something a little more encouraging, too. Healing. Solidarity. Catharsis. On TV and in movies, support groups always involved people pouring out their hearts, breaking down, embracing one another. Making breakthroughs and overcoming their issues.

Mariah hadn’t expected the real thing to be quite so dramatic, but she’d been looking for more than a sequence of interminable recountings of horrors and violations. Each one seemed to conjure the awfulness of the past back into the present and leave the recounter shriveled and trembling. It was like the support group was making the attendees lesser, not greater. Mariah wasn’t sure she could see any signs of healing at all, or even of people finding solidarity in their brokenness. It was all just miserable.

The only person who seemed like they were having a good time was the psychiatrist running the thing.

Dr. Amaranth Cerulean, they/she.

They looked just as weird in person as they had on their advert. Dr. Cerulean was deathly pale, with big, tired, dark-circled eyes and unusual, light blue markings beneath them, as well as on her lips. It was a strange and striking look, especially along with their prominent nose and the short but poofy, voluminous hair piled up in rounded masses on their head. The shrink wore a gray cardigan over a ribbed, mustard yellow turtleneck sweater which was tucked into the belted waist of their brown slacks. It was an outfit from a different decade. Mariah just wasn’t quite sure which one.

In a way, it wasn’t surprising that a support group like this would be run by an eccentric. Mariah wasn’t one to judge. Dr. Cerulean’s demeanor, though, was a little unnerving. Throughout most of the session, Dr. Cerulean sat on her chair at the head of the group, in a completely slack, slouched pose that registered nothing but complete disinterest. They barely spoke, and only to indicate who should speak next. Certainly not to provide any advice or support. They had a pen and a pad of paper, from the way their hand moved while they were writing on it, Mariah felt certain they were mostly just idly doodling.

Every now and then, however, something would catch their attention. Occasionally—and only when somebody was sharing a particularly lurid, uncomfortable and traumatic part of their experience of being mind controlled—Dr. Cerulean would throw their entire body forward and sit perched so perilously close to their edge of their chair, Mariah feared they were about to topple from it. They would scratch at their notepad in a frenzy, and those big, tired eyes certainly became laser-focused and eager. Whenever that happened, a truly ghastly smile descended on their face. Not warm, not supportive, just pleased. Smug. Grateful, even, like they were thankful someone had stepped up to deliver them from boredom.

And from the slight twitch in their cheek, Mariah couldn’t help but suspect Dr. Cerulean was struggling to keep themself from laughing.

Dr. Cerulean’s presence made the entire support group feel uncomfortably voyeuristic, somehow. When it came to be Mariah’s turn, she kept it to a bare minimum. She introduced herself and made a few oblique references to what had happened to her, but completely glossed over the details. She figured that was pretty normal for a first-timer—and besides, it was difficult to speak with Dr. Cerulean looking at her like she was a fresh-cooked meal placed on their table.

Mariah decided right then and there—there wasn’t going to be a second time. She just didn’t feel comfortable here. It wasn’t the kind of support group she was looking for.

She stuck it out to the end, though—mostly because leaving halfway through seemed much too awkward. Once they wrapped up, before Mariah could slip out quietly, she found that Dr. Cerulean was suddenly between her and the door, and staring at her with an expectant look on their ghoulish face.

“H-Hi,” Mariah said, mostly because she felt like she had to. “Um… thanks for the session.”

“Oh, don’t mention it,” Dr. Cerulean sounded every bit as tired and seedy as they looked. “Thank you for coming. Really. We love a newcomer.”

“Yeah…” Mariah had no idea what to say to that. “Well, I was actually just-“

“Good news!” Dr. Cerulean interrupted suddenly, in a lazy, drawling voice. “You’re actually our one-hundredth member. That means you win a free one-on-one session with yours truly.”

Finger guns.

---

Hell no.

That had been Mariah’s initial response. The easiest ‘nope’ of her life. She’d politely declined, and privately resolved to never set foot in Dr. Cerulean’s support group again.

Then she’d gone home, gone to bed, and had the nightmares again.

It was nothing new. They came for Mariah most nights. But it meant another eight-hour torture session inside her own head, tossing and turning, fighting off both gut-wrenching guilt and poisonous allure. In the cold light of dawn, Mariah had felt worse than ever—and taking up Dr. Cerulean on her offer hadn’t seemed like such a bad idea after all. It had been easy to tell herself that it hadn’t really been that bad after all. Sure, Dr. Cerulean was a bit eccentric, but what had Mariah expected from somebody running a support group for mind control victims? It wasn’t like they’d done anything wrong, exactly.

More importantly, Mariah needed the help. Desperately. She couldn’t keep going on like this. That was why she’d gone to the support group in the first place. She needed to talk to somebody. Didn’t she owe it to herself to push herself? To take every chance? Mariah kept thinking about the kind of stuff she’d read online. Recovery wasn’t always easy. It wasn’t always comfortable. You had to push yourself.

Mariah had decided that she wanted to push herself.

Besides, it was just talking. In the end, that was what clinched it for her. All they were going to do was sit in a room and talk. If it was good, great. If it was bad, it would be a waste of time—but at least Mariah could tell herself she had given it a fair shot.

Basically: what was the worst that could happen?

That was how, the very next afternoon, Mariah found herself in Dr. Cerulean’s office, trying to distract herself from her anxiety by carefully inspecting the weird pineapple lamp on Dr. Cerulean’s desk. Dressed exactly as they had been the day before, the psychiatrist regarded Mariah with a bland smile on their blue lips as they invited her to sit down opposite them.

“So, um,” Mariah said, shifting uncomfortably. “How do we get started?”

“First things first,” Dr. Cerulean told her, “I have a few release forms for you to sign. Standard stuff, really. No need to read them too carefully.”

They handed Mariah a small stack of papers. Cautiously, Mariah started scanning the first. It seemed, as promised, entirely standard. Non-disclosure, liability, that kind of thing. After signing it, she moved on to the second, then the third, and quickly stopped bothering to read much of the legal jargon. On the very last form, though, something caught her eye.

“Wait a minute,” Mariah said. “This is a release authorizing you to… write online fiction about me?”

Quickly, Dr. Cerulean reached over the deck and snatched away the piece of paper. “Oops,” she replied languidly. “Bit of a mix-up. My mistake. Don’t worry about it. You can sign that one later.”

Later? Mariah frowned. Was that some kind of joke? It had to be. Dr. Cerulean certainly looked like they were finding humor in something—but it was in seriously poor taste.

“There we go.” Dr. Cerulean stretched one of their long arms across to retrieve the other release forms. They sat back in their chair and regarded Mariah carefully. “To begin with, why don’t you just tell me what brought you to the support group?”

Again, Mariah considered refusing. Again, she reminded herself: she needed to give this a shot.

“I… I just feel like I can’t move forward,” Mariah began slowly. She fixed her eyes on the floor, hoping that would be less awkward. “You know? I see all these people going about their daily lives. Pursuing careers. Pursuing other people. Pursuing happiness. And it just seems completely impossible to me. Like I can’t even fathom it—even though I used to be just like them. I can ever remember her—that old version of me. The one who wasn’t… who wasn’t broken. I want to be her again so bad. I just… can’t remember how.”

She looked up. Mariah’s voice was already a little choked up from the emotions she was describing. She was hoping, perhaps, for a kind word or a kind smile.

Instead, Dr. Cerulean wasn’t even looking at her. They had a pencil in their hand, and they were trying to spin it cleanly on the joint between their thumb and their hand. After a particularly vigorous spin, it slipped away from them and clattered against the top of the desk.

“Dr. Cerulean?” Mariah ventured plaintively.

Dr. Cerulean let out a breath that was very close to a sigh, and then their brow twitched in a way that made Mariah think, just for a moment, that they were going to roll their eyes. Then, though, a smile—only a little forced—came to Dr. Cerulean’s blue lips.

“Why don’t we start at the beginning?” Dr. Cerulean suggested. “What actually happened to you?”

“Oh. Right.” That made sense to Mariah, even if she wished Dr. Cerulean sounded a little more patient about it. She gathered her courage. Talking about what had befallen her didn’t come easy. “A couple of years ago, I-I was in a relationship. With a guy. Robert. We were engaged, I actually. I thought we were going to spend our entire lives together.”

“Uh-huh.” The look of boredom still hadn’t disappeared from Dr. Cerulean’s face.

“I had recently started a new job,” Mariah recounted, voice trembling. “As a PA—a personal assistant. I spoke to my boss about taking some time off for the wedding. Mrs. Lawrence. She, um, didn’t like that idea. She’d always been kind of… controlling, I guess. A… a bully.” She struggled to say it, even though it was true. “She told me she required my services. Didn’t want me to focus on the needs of anyone besides her.”

“Oh?” Those big, sunken eyes on Dr. Cerulean’s face were starting to perk up a little. “What then?”

“I threatened to quit.” Mariah squeezed her eyes tight shut. “So she mind-controlled me.”

Mariah heard a small, wet sound from a short distance away. When she opened her eyes, Dr. Cerulean’s lips were damp, and they had taken up their notepad.

“Tell me more about that,” the psychiatrist prompted.

“She started taking over every aspect of my life,” Mariah whispered. “The way I looked, talked, dressed, and how-“

“No, no,” Dr. Cerulean interrupted eagerly, waving a hand. “How did she mind control you?”

“Um.” Mariah was taken aback by the question. “What do you mean?”

“Well, is she a psychic?” Dr. Cerulean raised a hand and started counting methods on her fingers. “Psychoactive spores? Big ray gun? Good ‘ol hypnotist? Some kind of succubus?”

“She, um,” Mariah replied slowly. “She had one of those… toys on her desk. You know, with the row of balls hanging on strings?”

“A Newton’s cradle!” For the first time, Dr. Cerulean sounded faintly delighted. “Hold on.”

Dr. Cerulean reached under their desk and started rummaging around in a box that seemed to contain a truly preposterous quantity and variety of strange objects. Mariah watched, confused then horrified, as Dr. Cerulean plucked out one of them and set it upon their desk.

It was a Newton’s cradle.

“Um…” Mariah was transfixed by the object. “That’s… c-can you…”

Dr. Cerulean took one of the metal balls between their thumb and forefinger, lifted it, and let it swing.

The metallic tap as it hit against the next reverberated through Mariah’s entire being.

“D-Dr. Cerulean,” Mariah stammered. She was hot and cold. She could feel herself sweating. She could feel herself sinking. “C-c-could you p-put that away, p-please?”

“What, this?” Dr. Cerulean seemed faintly surprised as they leaned back easily in their chair. “But it’s just a little toy.”

“But…” Mariah was about to say something else, but the tapping of the Newton’s cradle broke about her words before they could form. She was left blubbering the word over stupidly. “B-but…”

“Mariah,” Dr. Cerulean tutted. “It’s important for you to understand that this is just a commonplace object. It’s acquired a certain psychological character in your mind as a trigger, but that’s something that you’re imbuing onto the world. Aren’t you afraid that you’re just reinforcing the scars of your own trauma? We need to push past our fears. If you continue to treat this toy with significance, it will become more and more significant to you.”

Dr. Cerulean sounded every bit the consummate professional as they rattled off the argument in their quick but monotonous voice. The words crested over Mariah like a wave. She had no rebuttal. Dr. Cerulean was the psychiatrist, after all.

And Mariah really, really couldn’t think straight with the Newton’s cradle tap, tap, tapping away on the desk.

“OK,” she said quietly, eventually.

“Very good.” Beyond the Newton’s cradle, Mariah could see a smile forming on Dr. Cerulean’s face. “Desensitization through exposure therapy is a key element of recovery. Go on.”

“Go… on?” Exposure therapy? Mariah still couldn’t look away from the Newton’s cradle. She couldn’t stop shaking. But if it was part of her recovery…

“Tell me what your boss did to you.”

“Mrs. Lawrence,” Mariah said slowly, “made me break up with my boyfriend.”

As they took notes, Dr. Cerulean made a little noise that might have been the beginnings of a laugh. “Of course.”

“B-but it’s more than that.” Mariah wasn’t sure that she wanted to talk about it, really. But she had no choice. It just came out of her—because she was looking at the Newton’s cradle, and Dr. Cerulean was telling her to speak. “She… s-she made…” Her voice broke. “She made me g-gay.”

Abruptly, Dr. Cerulean sat forward. For the first time, Mariah felt the full weight of the psychiatrist’s attention.

“Oh wow,” Dr. Cerulean remarked, with an ominous delight they slowly brought back under wraps. “That’s… really something. How did that go?”

“It’s awful,” Mariah moaned. “It’s not… I’m s-straight. I’ve always been straight. But when I looked at her—when I look at other women—I can’t help but feel it. And it feels so… so dirty.”

“Of course,” Dr. Cerulean agreed, scribbling at their notepad. “Something as fundamental as your sexuality has been made completely alienating to you.” They sat forward, leering. “It must be maddening. Feeling like your desire and your memory are at war. Not knowing which one you can trust. Not knowing which one is really you.”

Mariah nodded slowly. It was exactly like that. She was so glad Dr. Cerulean understood—but at the same time, hearing it said out loud with such bluntness felt awful.

“Tell me more,” the psychiatrist beckoned. “Tell me everything.”

Mariah’s vision was starting to narrow. She made one great effort to tear her attention away from the Newton’s cradle—and couldn’t. She could feel herself losing focus. Losing wakefulness. It was just the way it had been back then. Her shaking worsened, but it wasn’t enough to jostle her from trance’s reaching fingertips.

“I… I…” Dr. Cerulean’s words conjured the very deepest, most awful truths from Mariah’s drowning mind. “I tried… to go back to him, after they arrested her. I knew she’d get out on bail, but it gave me enough time to c-come back to my senses. I went back to him, but… b-but I just couldn’t stand it. I c-couldn’t look at him the same. And when he touched me, I…”

There was a loud noise as Dr. Cerulean slapped their thigh. Mariah jumped, but even that wasn’t enough to break her focus.

“Wait, you tried to go straight back to your old life?” they wheezed. “Wow, yeah, no, don’t do that! You didn’t give yourself any breathing room. No time to process what had happened to you. You tried to force yourself back into an old groove, and then when you couldn’t, I bet you felt more broken than ever! Rookie mistake, seriously.”

Dr. Cerulean’s barely disguised amusement bothered Mariah, but not as much as it should have. She simply couldn’t think straight. Each loud tap as one of the balls of the Newton’s cradle impacted against its neighbor was overwhelming. As much as she wanted to get up and leave, Mariah’s legs wouldn’t obey her. The most she could do was point at the Newton’s cradle with a weak, trembling hand.

“Please,” she blubbered. “P-p-please make it stop. P-please. I can’t… I c-can’t…”

“Oops.” Beyond the cradle, Mariah could see that Dr. Cerulean’s tired, sunken eyes had become bright and leering. “Now you’re on the verge of a full-blown relapse, aren’t you? It looks like you really are that fragile. Well, it makes sense. Recounting your traumatic experiences while being exposed to an explicit reminder of your victimhood will do that to you. Not very recovered after all, huh?”

Mariah shook her head numbly as tears welled up in her eyes. She could see it so clearly now. She wasn’t recovered at all. She hadn’t moved forward even one inch since getting free. She was small. She was weak.

“Tell me,” Dr. Cerulean asked, “what are you so afraid of? You’re shaking like a leaf."

“I-I don’t want to hurt people again,” Mariah blurted out.

Dr. Cerulean set down their notepad and planted their hands on the desk, palms vertical, the tips of their fingertips pressed together. Mariah could feel those long fingers reaching into her. Peeling her open. Prying her secrets apart.

“Who did you hurt, Mariah?” Dr. Cerulean asked.

Mariah had never told anybody about that—but she couldn’t lie. Not here. Not now. Not with the Newton’s cradle. Mrs. Lawrence had always drilled that into her. Tell the truth.

“I h-helped her take other girls,” Mariah whispered. “Anybody who caught her eye. I m-made appointments with them. P-put things in their drinks. Sometimes she even m-made me hold them, so they’d keep looking at the…” She choked back a sob. “Mrs. Lawrence made me t-talk to them. Condition them. D-d-discipline them.”

“Fascinating,” Dr. Cerulean said softly. “You must feel so guilty.”

“Yes!” The word erupted out of Mariah. It was all she could think about, every hour of every day.

“Of course,” Dr. Cerulean agreed softly. “You feel as though you were forced, outside of your own control, to commit acts that horrify you and compromise your sense of self. I think it’s crucial that we begin to reframe this.”

Mariah nodded slowly. She could do nothing else.

“Did you know that-“ Dr. Cerulean interrupted herself with a kind of gleeful chuckle. “Did you know that you cannot be hypnotized into doing anything that you don’t want to do?”

“Um.” Mariah blinked and swayed unsteadily. “W-what?”

No. That wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true.

“Oh yes,” Dr. Cerulean insisted. “Hypnosis is just a little mind trick, really. It’s a way of lowering your inhibitions and suppressing your conscious mind, but do you really believe that it would make you a complete and total slave to whoever’s doing it to you? Lowering inhibitions simply implies the removal of a barrier to your true desires.”

“No.” Mariah shook her head violently. “N-no. No way. That’s… you’re…”

“Think about it,” Dr. Cerulean pressed, thin blue lips now stretched into a leering grin. “How did you feel when your boss used you sexually?”

Mariah flinched. “I-it felt good, but that’s only because she made-“

“Accepting our sexualities is often a battle,” Dr. Cerulean said agreeably. She made another note in her notepad. “How did you feel when you hurt those other women?”

“Please don’t make me say it,” Mariah begged, trembling. Dr. Cerulean just looked at her. “G-good. But that’s-“

“Of course.” The psychiatrist nodded. “Violence. Exercising power. It may be unpleasant, but it appeals to the baser parts of our natures. That’s a huge part of any form of so-called mind control. It provides a nice, convenient excuse for us to exercise desires we might normally feel the need to repress. And how about whenever you were ‘forced’ to obey your boss?”

Obey. That word lit a fuse in Mariah’s head.

“Obey,” she muttered. “Obey. O-obey. Obey. Obey. Obey.”

Normally, she was better than this. She could keep it under wraps. Not today. Not with the Newton’s cradle.

“A mantra!” Dr. Cerulean sounded pleased. “And so easy to trigger, too. This is good. Great, in fact. We’re making a lot of progress. I think we’re really starting to get to the root of your issues.”

“Obey.” Mariah kept repeating it under her breath. Each word gave rise to the next, unceasing, until her lungs were empty of air and she was shaking from the effort—but still, she kept going. “Obeyobeyobeyobeyobey.”

“Yes, yes, keep going,” Dr. Cerulean waved an idle hand in her direction. “Exposure therapy is a crucial tool. Remember what we were discussing earlier? You have to take back power from these things. You can’t keep making them special in your head. Repetition is a great way to do that.”

There was something soothing about hearing that. Mariah started easing into the mantra, letting her mind settle. She just needed to trust Dr. Cerulean. Her obedient liturgy was starting to make her feel calm again. Just like it always had with Mrs. Lawrence.

“Now, what was I saying?” Dr. Cerulean mused. “Oh, that’s right. Hypnosis. You really must consider what I’m saying. Perhaps the reason you’ve found all of this so difficult is that your boss was tapping into some of your deeply held repressed desires. Forcing you to confront them. Forcing you to accept the way they make you feel.”

“Obey,” Mariah panted. “Obey. Obey. Obey.”

“Obviously that’s just one way to conceptualize your experience,” Dr. Cerulean continued. “It might not sound right to you, but that’s where reframing comes in. At the end of the day, Mariah, you need to make a choice about what kind of narrative you want to fit onto your life. Ultimately, that’s all our egos amount to. They’re stories we tell about ourselves to find a semblance of security and comfort in our day-to-day lives. Which story flatters you the most? Which story brings you the most comfort? We need to help you answer that question so that you can find a degree of fulfillment.”

“Obey… obey… obey…” Mariah was slowing now, as the mantra drove all the way down to a deeper layer of hypnotism, leaving her in a place so dark and still even speaking was too much effort for her.

“Enough of that now,” Dr. Cerulean instructed dismissively. “You want control, don’t you Mariah? Think about it: which narrative makes you feel in control? Which one will help you reclaim your life?”

Mariah’s eyelids fluttered as she bent her mind to the question. When they were open, she could see Dr. Cerulean, lurking beyond the Newton’s cradle. When they were closed, she could see Mrs. Lawrence. Her boss. Her brainwasher. It was terrifying—but what if it didn’t have to be? Mariah could remember a time she hadn’t been scared. A time when she’d eagerly obeyed her boss with the eagerness of a docile lamb.

More than ever, she longed for it.

But… that was wrong, wasn’t it?

“I…” Mariah grasped. “No, I… I’m straight?”

Dr. Cerulean shook their head slowly. “You’re a little behind, Mariah. Remember. Narratives. Reframing. Are you really straight? Or is that simply what you’ve always believed? Many queer people suffer from a degree of internalized bigotry, and respond by desperately clinging to a veneer of heteronormativity. I promise you, Mariah. This room is a safe space. You can explore your feelings and desires here.”

Mariah’s mouth opened and closed uselessly. What Dr. Cerulean was telling her didn’t sound right—but then again, Mariah had no idea what would. And the pale psychiatrist sounded so expert. So sure.

“Let’s approach this on a more basic level,” Dr. Cerulean offered. “You need to relearn confidence in your basic drives. It’s important that you proceed without doubting yourself too much. I want you to accept yourself. To embrace your feelings. That’s the only way you can begin to heal. With that in mind, let me ask you: how do you feel about men?”

The Newton’s cradle was coming to rest, but that provided little comfort. As its motion slowed, Mariah felt her thoughts slowing along with it. She was swimming in trance. The word ‘obey’ was still echoing in her head. She couldn’t get beyond her first, strongest response.

“I c-can’t stand them,” she whimpered.

“Good,” Dr. Cerulean said poisonously. “I’m glad you can accept that about yourself. Now, how do you feel about women?”

“I… I…” That question triggered a sudden sunburst of emotion in Mariah’s head. Ideas, impulses, and beliefs all poured into her, each one pulled by a thread that was a memory or a sensation. They awakened something in her, something that burst past her lips in a wet, needy ejaculation. “I-I belong on my knees for women!”

“Another mantra?” Dr. Cerulean leered. “Interesting. It seems like we’re making a lot of progress here. As I told you, I want you to have confidence in your feelings and desires. So please, don’t stop yourself. Do whatever it is that feels most right to you. Whatever makes you feel comfortable in the moment.”

A great weight was pressing down on Mariah’s shoulders. Simply sitting in her chair felt so nauseatingly wrong, she couldn’t bear it. The only thing that seemed comfortable was slipping out of it, down onto her knees beneath Dr. Cerulean’s desk. The cold, uncomfortable floor welcomed her with the familiarity of a well-worn mattress.

“Fascinating,” Dr. Cerulean mused. “At the risk of moving a little too fast, perhaps we should try a little word association. That can be a very useful way to uncover the real roots of psychological issues. So, Mariah: you belong on your knees for women?”

Mariah choked back another sob as the words flowed out of her. “I b-belong on my knees for women. A good secretary’s place is under the desk. I l-love to be at women’s feet. I belong on my knees for… for women. A good secretary’s p-place is under the desk. I… I… hng… I love to be at women’s feet!”

Her stomach was a noxious cauldron. An iron pall of palpitating nausea sat inside her. The sense of anxious danger that had haunted her for months now was frothing like never before. But above it sat a thick, dense, smothering fog that whispered to her: this was all good. It was right. It was her place.

Mariah was trying to listen to the danger-sense. She was failing. It was too painful. She just wanted to stop thinking.

“It stands out to me that your set of associations ends with a reference to women’s bodies.” Mariah heard Dr. Cerulean’s voice from above, as the strange psychiatrist sat back calmly in their chair. That was another thing she was used to. “That may be the key to your desires, Mariah. Listen to them. Show me what comes next.”

As they spoke, Dr. Cerulean slowly slipped out of her shoes, using each one to pry the other off. Underneath, they were wearing a strange pair of pineapple socks; yellow and patterned on the lower part, and leaf-green around their ankles. Their socks, though, weren’t what had caught Mariah’s attention. She was distracted by the simple fact that she was in her place, under a desk, and an authoritative woman was looming over her with their feet dangling in her face.

Mariah followed her desires. She did what came naturally to her. With tears still in her eyes, lips still mouthing the words Mrs. Lawrence had imprinted on her mind, she reached out and began massaging Dr. Cerulean’s feet.

Dr. Cerulean let out a glib chuckle, then sighed contentedly. “Look at you now. You’re under the desk, repeating your mantras, looking for another woman’s feet to worship. A complete and total relapse! How unfortunate.”

“I… I… I-I…” Another sob threatened to rip loose from Mariah’s throat. She wanted to speak, to argue, to apologize, to beg, but she already knew that if she tried, the only thing that would come out was her boss’s mantra.

A relapse. It was the rock-bottom Mariah had been afraid of for so long. All the urges she had been fighting to hold in check were oozing out. She was on her knees again. She was languishing in the pit of her own awful, dirty, lustful feelings about women. It felt awful. It felt like home.

“I know, I know,” Dr. Cerulean agreed. “It’s tough. But what do I keep telling you about, Mariah? Reframing! It’s an essential tool. Consider: what if this isn’t relapsing? What if this is simply who you are?”

Whatever part of Mariah might have wanted to push back against that had been broken into silence. As Mariah trembled and sobbed and eagerly, expertly pushed her thumbs against the soles of Dr. Cerulean’s feet, it seemed impossible to deny. Wasn’t this who she was? Wasn’t what she was doing right now the proof?

“It’s up to you, of course,” Dr. Cerulean added. “This is all about your wellbeing, Mariah. You’re perfectly free to define the goals of your own therapy. The perspectives I’m offering you are nothing more than food for thought. So, what do you think?”

As she knelt there, Mariah thought about what it would mean if she insisted upon her need for recovery and healing. It would mean more months of therapy and counseling, of twitchiness and jitteriness, of viewing herself, first and foremost, as a victim. It would mean looking over her shoulder for Mrs. Lawrence everywhere she went, and constantly guilt and shame whenever she found herself glancing at another woman. It would mean perhaps years of slowly building herself back up so she could learn to trust again, so she could reclaim her sexuality on her own terms—hell, so she could even work in an office again.

It was too much.

Just like that, Mariah gave up.

“Y-you’re right, Dr. Cerulean.” Mariah’s voice was still trembling desperately, but as she spoke, a haunted grin came to her face. “T-thinking about how I really feel… I guess it’s o-obvious. I’m j-just a lesbian.”

“Interesting,” Dr. Cerulean remarked. They sounded like they were beginning to crack up laughing. “And all those things you did for your boss?”

Mariah let out a twitchy laugh too. “I j-just did those things for Mistress because I wanted to.”

“Very interesting. Even hurting those other women?”

The noise that erupted from Mariah’s throat was a sob and a laugh in equal measure. “Y… y-yes. That’s right. I w-w-wanted to.”

“My goodness,” Dr. Cerulean sounded like she was fighting to suppress a moan as Mariah gave in. “That’s quite the breakthrough.”

Mariah wanted to. She wanted to serve her boss because she was a submissive lesbian. She wanted to hurt other women for her mistress because it turned her on. It was that simple. She was that simple.

“Why don’t you sit back up here?” Dr. Cerulean suggested. “One question: what do you think about the way your boss hypnotized you?”

As Mariah came up from under the desk, she glanced at the Newton’s cradle sitting on the psychiatrist’s desk. It had long since come to rest, but the sight of it still made her stomach churn.

“M-Mistress knows what’s best for me,” Mariah bleated, forcing her nausea down. Forcing herself to fall back on what her boss had taught her. “Mistress thinks for me b-better than I can.”

Dr. Cerulean sat forward as they let out a great, wheezing chuckle. “Let me get this straight,” they said. “Do you imagine that your boss knew that you were a lesbian all along, and was simply pushing you to accept it?”

A tear trickled down Mariah’s cheek. “Y-y-yeah.” She made herself believe it.

“Wow,” Dr. Cerulean remarked, and shrugged. “Well, yeah, that certainly sounds plausible to me. No issues there. We discussed your internalized homophobia earlier. I suppose being forced to confront that must have caused a kind of backlash. Very unfortunate.”

“R-right.” Mariah sat bolt upright in the chair as she felt compulsion snap tight around her like a collar on her neck. “Oh my god. I n-need to go back to Mistress. I need to find her again.”

“Oh yes?” Dr. Cerulean leaned forward intently. “And why’s that?”

Mariah’s happy, grateful smile was so wide. She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t seem to stop crying. “I need to apologize. I need to b-b-beg for her forgiveness.”

Tears were welling up in Dr. Cerulean’s eyes too—but only because they were fighting so hard to keep a tight rein on their mirth. “That sounds great!” the psychiatrist agreed. “Rebuilding the bridges we burn during moments of crisis can be so important. And far be it from me to keep you any longer—although I’d love to schedule a follow-up in a few weeks’ time. Just so I can, ah, see how you’re getting on.”

Mariah nodded eagerly. She was so thankful to Dr. Cerulean for helping her get her head on straight. Really, it was the least she could do.

As Dr. Cerulean stood up to see Mariah out, they carelessly set down on their desk the small notepad they had been taking notes on. With it face up, Mariah could see a few of the choice comments Dr. Cerulean had made:

‘BOOOORING I’m so sad blah blah blah’ ‘messing with her orientation? nice lol’ ‘dig for mantras?’ ‘oh she’s COOKED cooked.’ ‘amazed someone else hasn’t scooped her up already’ ‘regular follow-ups? the massage is pretty good’

Mariah decided to ignore them. She decided they had to be about somebody else. Fortunately, Dr. Cerulean distracted her from it by sliding another piece of paper across the desk.

“Now, about that release?” the psychiatrist asked politely. “I think this could be really great material for a fic. I can see getting a lot of Ao3 kudos for this one.”

With a tight, harrowed, unsteady, haunted grin on her tear-stained face, Mariah obediently signed her name and then hurried back to return to her life as a brainwashed, submissive, lesbian secretary. As she left, Dr. Cerulean leaned back in their chair and slipped their hand down the front of their pants.

“All in a day’s work,” Dr. Cerulean murmured to themself. “Now, let me see if I can finish before my five o’clock.”

—

I would like to express my gratitude for the generosity of all those who support me on Patreon, and to give a special thanks to the following patrons in particular for their exceptional support:

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[howlsofbloodhounds]

do you think Killer and Insanity could be friends. Like Killer at first didn’t care much for the guy other then the fact that his soul was definitely interesting a perfect specimen to study really. Insanity of course tries to avoid him as I have heard from some sources that have talked to the new creator how Insanity wouldn’t outright fight someone he isn’t sure he can win against and while the two are definitely close in strength I still feel as if Killer would win. At the very least Insanity can respect this strange Sans strength. They both have access to save, load, and resets even if Killer has something a little extra I don’t know I kinda just wanna see them interact more then just the Murder time trio fight videos but with insanity sometimes replacing Horror or him just joining. Although I do like the idea of the four going around bat taking out of control players/Charas/frisk all for their own reasons it would also be a nice way for them to be in a story that doesn’t have them as Nightmares lackeys actually that gives me an idea

~Musical Anon

This guy really needs a better name..like redshift sans or something idk.

And yeah, wiki says he has access to save/load/reset but it’s not more than the human’s, like flowey. So killer’s determination probably stills outweighs I’s. Honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if killer sees himself as superior in a way when compared to Insanity.

Wouldn’t be surprised if, for whatever reasons, if Insanity starts hanging around killer for whatever reason and if killer tolerates it for whatever reason, some may get the vibes that insanity is like killer’s “lackey” and killer is more like the ‘leader’ of the two.

Killer may see himself as above insanity in some way, but I doubt he’d naturally or immediately take over a leadership role in whatever little duo they form—he’s not a leader type.

Outside of a “work” and scientific context, killer may just want insanity to leave him alone and would probably avoid him if he becomes insistent about it—unless insanity makes killer think similar to the way Swap did.

That he won’t stop if Killer doesn’t make him stop. Which means psychological and physical torment.

And if insanity can manage to handle that somehow and keeps coming back, for whatever reasons he’d ever do that (maybe he feels like he and killer are similar, maybe he saw how Killer is in Stage 3 and how Nightmare and the others handle and respond to Stage 3, or perhaps killer’s strength appeals to him?), then maybe it becomes something different.

Maybe it becomes a bit of a transactional thing. If Insanity lets Killer satisfy his curiosities with him and leaves him alone when he wants to be, then killer..helps Insanity with whatever he may want. Help with revenge on Gaster? Help on taking out someone? Just some company or something? I don’t know.

Given who these two are as characters, their backgrounds, high chance of it not being a very healthy coworker or partnership dynamic. Particularly in a setting where they’re with Nightmare, or at least Killer is.

But there could potentially be some wholesome or sweet moments in their understanding, even if the thing that they understand about each other is that they aren’t like the others around them.

[thefreakandthehair]

@eddiemonth prompt, oct 24th:  Drama | His Kiss the Riot - Anaïs Mitchell | Magnetic a/n: steddie, pining, mutual crushes, forced proximity, the universal theater kid horror of having to hug your crush on stage [click here for the AMAZING corresponding artwork by @artbean!] read on ao3 + masterpost | tumblr masterlist

Community theater isn’t a far leap for Eddie Munson. 

With high school finally far behind him, he’s free to fill his time how he pleases. There aren’t many things about those four cinder block walls that he’d say he misses, but the drama of Hellfire Club makes the short list. So no, it’s not a far leap for Eddie Munson to join the local Hawkins Community Theater. 

It is, however, a moon-landing sized leap to find Steve Harrington in the small auditorium when he shows up for Grease tryouts. Sure, Grease is a little kitsch, maybe a bit too on the nose for his first local community production, but that’s all forgotten when he ends up scoring the role of Kenickie and has to rehearse opposite of Steve’s Zuko. 

Because of course Steve gets cast as Danny Zuko. 

The monsters he’d dreamed up for Hellfire Club were intimidating, but nothing is more horrifying than having to hug the guy who’d been the leading man in most of his wet dreams throughout– and admittedly, even after– high school. 

Day after day, take after take, Eddie as Kenickie asks Steve as Zuko to be his second at Thunder Road, they hug, and then pull away to fix their hair and strut off screen for the set change. Eddie can’t speak for Steve, but the flush to his cheeks and awkward hair combing is not acting. 

Rehearsal has absolutely nothing on opening night, that first time Eddie finds himself shoved into a too-tight space behind the curtain with Steve. In their haste to get out of the way, Eddie stumbles and catches himself against a wall, turning to find Steve nose-to-nose, braced on one forearm against the same wall to the left of Eddie’s head. 

Eddie swallows, harsh and thick, and releases a shaky exhale. “You good, man?” 

Steve grins and nods. “Little tight back here, huh?” 

“Terrible conditions for the leading man, I have to say.” Eddie whispers.

“Eh,” Steve starts. “I don’t think they’re that bad.” 

Eddie’s sure that he’s hallucinated the way Steve’s eyes flicker down to his lips and back up. Wayne always says that Eddie has a knack for seeing what he wants to see, after all. 

“That’s your cue,” Steve moves and jerks his head to the stage. “See you back out there, Kenickie.” The motherfucker winks and Eddie’s head spins, his lines jumbled and his steps just a bit off. 

Hawkins Community Theater’s production of Grease is a two week commitment, six shows in total, and each one gets better and better. Eddie grows more and more confident with his performance during Greased Lightning, landing his marks with ease and actively avoiding the decidedly inappropriate thoughts about Steve kneeling in front of him on the hood of the car. His chemistry with Rizzo, played by none other than Nancy Wheeler, turns into an honest to God friendship that takes them both by surprise. Hell, he’s even gotten dinner with the cast a few times. 

It’s all going smoothly, except that Eddie’s sure he’s going to die before the end of this run. Night after night, Eddie finds himself shoved up against Steve Harrington who must have some sort of bet running to see if he can get Eddie to fold. If so, he’s definitely winning. 

In the show’s final weekend, he ends up crammed between a wall and Steve behind the curtain and really, he’s just a man. How much of this can he be expected to take without his head exploding? Or his– 

“Nice job out there, Munson. Had me convinced you were actually like, flustered or whatever.” Steve whispers, his lips too close to Eddie’s skin. 

He might have imagined it, but he’s fairly certain they actually grazed the reddening tip of his ear. “Oh, are we dropping out of character now? I thought that was strictly forbidden, Zuko.” 

Steve shakes his head and leans in closer, intentionally. It has to be intentional this time, right? “It’s our final show, I think we can just be Harrington and Munson now. Or, maybe just Steve and Eddie?” 

Steve and Eddie, Steve and Eddie, SteveandEddie. 

Eddie's head buzzes, swimming in the combinations of their names. They sound good together, and he can’t be misreading this, not when Steve leans closer still, his eyes glowing with the stage light creeping behind the curtain. Their lips nearly touch when Steve speaks again, close enough for Eddie to feel 

“That’s your cue. I’m gonna miss being stuck back here with you, so let me know after the show.” 

Eddie nearly chokes and purses his lips. “Are you doing this on purpose to throw me off, Harrington?” 

“Just can’t stay away. Munson.” Steve winks again and leans back, making space for Eddie to sneak around him to take his place for the audience. 

Eddie warms beneath the bright lights of the stage, but they have nothing on the scintillating radiance of Steve’s eyes on him backstage.

[coricatchthorne]

Cori Reads: Magica Riot

I was fortunate to join Bluesky right in time to find out about the release of Kara Buchanan's Magica Riot (@magicariot), a love letter to magical girls of all kinds (especially trans/queer ones <3), different forms of queerness, the magical girl genre as a whole, indie bands, and Portland, Oregon, a city I’m more than a little fond of myself. Minor spoilers to chat about some favorite elements!

There’s both familiarity and freshness here for fans of Magical Girl Things™, which makes for a comforting yet engaging read. The magical girl transformations include gender affirming magic and outfits with an alternative twist. The most frequent baddies have big horror movie monster energy, with lovingly gross descriptions of their own transformations. The conflicts have musical overtones, since the girls aren’t just squadmates but bandmates who wield their powers through their instruments, and there’s an interest in things like the difference between often-lumped together concepts like beat and rhythm. Each of the Magica Riot girls brings a different type of feminine power and queerness (there's even a polyamorous pan/bisexual in there which I really appreciated <3), and they are unified in their celebration of and care for each other.

The wicked magical girls (yes thank goodness we love a wicked magical girl) have, of course, hidden depths and inner conflicts as well as ominous devotion to their mysterious evil mistress. The romance is sweet and gay and notably untortured, with a lovely scene in the Portland rose garden where main character Claire gets to see her own beauty and femininity reflected through the camera of the girl she adores. And instead of the genre’s frequent obsession with keeping secrets, this story likes to get things out of the closet and into the open, which I found especially refreshing in the romance. Several times I braced myself for genre-typical angst at a crossed wire or missed text or date or whatever and then it just DIDN'T HAPPEN because that's not what this story is doing and also these women actually default to talking to each other when in doubt, even and especially when it's awkward, and it was SO NICE.

The prose and pacing is brisk, keeping the scenes and set pieces coming. But some of my favorite moments were when the story took a moment to linger on delightful, specific oddities: a local juice cart and its endearingly in-character owner; a beloved band van with a storied history and a sturdy frame; a [gender-intentionally-left-blank] Dark Souls-obsessed IT gremlin (ilu hikariii <3) I enjoyed the sense of place; this story is set in Portland, and while you don’t need to have been there to enjoy it, there’s little treats if you have (it’s been too long since I’ve been to “Howell’s”) and clearly lots more for the actual PDX locals.

I had a fun time with the girls in Portland, and I look forward to seeing what’s next for them! Preview and links to purchase here: https://magicariot.com/

[auras-moonstone]

hi! i hope you’re doing good. you’re such an amazing writer and i’m a big fan of everything you post. could i maybe request something with ethan and the song “snow on the beach” please? i feel that ethan falling in love would feel like this song. i’m also obsessed with the vibes of the song. thank you so much! have a nice day

hi!! thank you so much 🥰 snow on the beach is such an underrated song. the whole vibe and the lyrics are super cute. hope you like what i wrote 🤍

snow on the beach — ethan landry

word count: 1,511

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

based on: snow on the beach by taylor swift

Y/N AND ETHAN HAD PROBABLY PASSED BY EACH OTHER UNBEKNOWNST TO THEM COUNTLESS OF TIMES. They went to the same university, had friends in common, went to the same parties, and yet they had never been introduced to each other. Until the Halloween party, where Y/N stumbled upon a boy dressed as a bare-chested cowboy, who happened to be Chad.

“Y/N! My good friend!” the tall boy embraced the girl dressed as a cheerleader.

“Get your nipples out of my face.” Y/N laughed, pulling away. She eyed the appearance of her friend “Slutty cowboy? Of course.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk cheerleader, only the most used costume of all times.” the boy rolled his eyes.

Y/N rolled her eyes “It’s not any cheerleader, it’s-“

“The cheerleader from Murder Party.” Ethan blurted out, without meaning to barge into the conversation. He blushed when the unknown girl set her eyes on him.

“Oh, Y/N, this is my roommate, Ethan. Eth, this is Y/N, the friend I told you about. The one obsessed with horror movies.” Chad introduced them.

“Now that is a good costume. Take notes, Chad.” the bubbly girl said. Ethan was dressed as the main character of Murder Party. “It’s so nice to meet you, Ethan. Your costume is truly amazing, where’d you get it?”

Ethan couldn’t help but smile. Not only she has been the only person at this party to not look at him as if he had the most ridiculous costume of all, but she actually knew who he was dressed as. That girl was awesome.

“Thank you! I made it.” he said, for the first time in the night, proudly. “You look amazing in your outfit… I mean, the costume looks amazing. Not that you don’t look amazing, because you do.” he eyed her up and down, breath hitching as he caught how the top hugged her upper body perfectly and how the flowy skirt ended by her mid thighs. “You really do.”

“I think she’s got the point, man.” Chad patted him on the chest.

“Thanks, Ethan.” she grinned widely, and he spotted the dimple on her left cheek. She was stunning. “I really have to go, but it was so nice to meet you. Hopefully, I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, sure. Absolutely.” Ethan nodded, a bit sad that she had to leave. He hoped she meant it, that ‘hopefully’.

“Great. Bye, boys” Y/N said right before walking away.

“She’s lovely, isn’t she?” Chad asked his wonderstruck friend, who still had his gaze on the spot Y/N had been mere seconds ago.

“Yeah, she is.” he smiled to himself.

CHAD CURSED HIMSELF FOR NOT HAVING THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE, FOR NOT REALIZING EARLIER WHAT A GREAT MATCH Y/N AND ETHAN COULD BE. But he was aware of it now, and made it his goal to be sure they spent more time together—hence why he invited Y/N to have lunch with them at the campus.

“I invited Y/N, is that okay?” Chad asked as they sat on a table outside.

“Of course, we love Y/N” Mindy answered, and Tara and Anika nodded in agreement.

Chad looked at Ethan, who hadn’t said anything “Oh, yeah, of course. She’s cool.” he tried to say it in a calm voice, but the nervousness was clear.

“Man, it’s okay. No need to be nervous, I know you’ll get along well. You have lots of things in common.” Chad assured him.

From the distance, Ethan saw the girl approaching the table. She was wearing a black leather skirt, knee length black boots and a black shirt with a picture of Nightmare on Elm Street. She looked even more gorgeous than the night of the party.

“Hey, guys!” her sweet voice greeted them. She sat next to the only free spot on the bench, which was next to Ethan.

She took a quick look at the boy, and she swore everything just stopped for her. The night of the party, Ethan had been wearing a cardboard helmet that only showed a small part of his face. Now, she got the whole view and she definitely liked what she was seeing. Ethan was one—if not the—prettiest boy she had ever seen. With his soft brown curls, big mesmerising brown eyes, full lips, enchanting smile, broad shoulders and tall frame.

“How was the chem exam?” Mindy asked, pulling her out of the daydream that Ethan Landry’s appearance was.

“It was awful, thanks for asking.” the girl groaned. “Good news, the old cinema down the block is projecting old horror movies, so at least I get a distraction.”

Ethan’s curious gaze landed on her “What are they showing today?”

“Nightmare on Elm Street” she replied, pointing at her shirt.

Ethan smiled at her enthusiasm “Which one?”

“Dream warriors.” electricity ran through her body when she witnessed how the boy’s entire demeanour lit up at the answer. “Want to come with me?”

“Only if you want me to.” Ethan said nervously.

“I’d love to”

ONE HANG OUT IS ALL IT TOOK FOR BOTH OF THEM TO BECOME ADDICTED TO EACH OTHER’S PRESENCE. After seeing Dream Warriors, Ethan took the courage to invite her over to his dorm to watch the rest of the movies. Of course, Y/N didn’t hesitate to say yes, so they spent the whole night watching the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise.

And after that day, Movie Friday became their unmovable plan. Every Friday night, Chad acted as if he was bothered when the two teenagers basically kick him out of his own dorm, but in reality he was glad of the thing his friends got going on.

“These movies are so good, but what an awful name. Could’ve put a bit more thought to it, couldn’t them?” Y/N said as they watched Stab.

“What would you call them?” Ethan asked, putting some popcorn on his mouth.

Y/N pursed her lips, thinking for a couple of seconds. “Maybe Scream?”

“That sounds good” Ethan agreed, and they continued watching the movie. The boy’s back was killing him, and when he moved to grab the remote, a pain shoot on his right shoulder making him groan in pain.

“What’s wrong?” the concerned girl paused the movie.

“My back hurts a bit.” he replied between teeth.

“Why don’t you change position? You can lay your head on my lap if you want to.” she offered, before realizing she was wearing a very short skirt, but it was too late to back off the offer.

Ethan nodded, and his left cheek soon made contact with her bare thighs. He almost let out a sigh of delight, he had never felt more at peace—with her skin embracing his like silk sheets and the soft touch of her fingers trying to ease the pain on his back by massaging his muscles so gently that his eyes threatened to close.

“You’re making me fall asleep.” Ethan mumbled, his face now looking up at her.

“You can sleep, I won’t get mad. I know you had an intense day today. We can finish the rest of the movies other day.” she whispered. He mumbled something that sounded like ‘closing’, ‘eyes’, ‘bit’, and then his eyes fluttered close.

Y/N’s loving gaze explored his delicate features with concentration. Ethan looked like an angel, his eyes closed and eyelashes so long that they touched his cheekbones. His lips were slightly parted, and they had never looked more kissable.

Every minute she spent with Ethan felt like flying in a dream. It was a feeling Y/N had never experienced—it was weird, but beautiful. It was all around them, the magic that filled the air when they were in each other’s presence. She was falling for Ethan in free fall, and she wanted nothing more than to confess it. But the truth was that she couldn’t, she was afraid to jinx it. She didn’t even dare to wish it.

“What?” the now awoken boy asked with rosy cheeks and shy smile. “You were staring at me.”

Y/N looked him in the eyes, and she swore they were from another planet. She had never seen eyes so bewitching “Sorry. I bet I kinda look like a creep right now.”

“No” he chuckled. “I like it when you do it, no one has ever looked at me the way you do.”

“And how is that?” Y/N asked curiously.

“The same way I look at you… like you want me.” Ethan intertwined their fingers, and rested their hands on his chest, where Y/N could feel the accelerated beats of his heart through his shirt.

“I do want you. I like you a lot, Ethan.” Y/N raised their holding hands and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

“I like you a lot too, Y/N.”

They smiled at each other brightly and widely, as if they had just won a contest. And when their lips connected, it was so perfect that they both couldn’t help but wondering if it was a dream. Love had always been something they saw on a screen, they had never felt it in real life. At least, not that intense. But this was a real thing, and now they were all for each other.

[sindar-princeling]

(I was wondering for a while if I should edit this post to be neater, or erase the things I've already said, but after all I decided to keep it just as it was, because over the past few months I was adding more and more thoughts to it as I edited, and I wanted to keep them that way, unedited and just the way they came to me. so here are some thoughts I had while editing the newsletter)

editing LOTR to go chronologically felt like constantly finding some hidden gems that can only be found when you read that way, and wondering if they were put there intentionally (and knowing jirt, they most probably were). it was a truly, deeply special experience, and a unique way of experiencing LOTR to me

there are so many fragments where jirt says what happens after everything! the ponies were okay, Pippin cried when he heard horns after the battle of Pelennor fields for years to come, even the prologue reveals some information about who survived the War

the long breaks in Rivendell and Lórien were very interesting in this format. some people were remarking how they liked thinking about the fellowship just chilling during those breaks, and I think it created a nice effect of both the characters and us forgetting how close the danger is for them. it let us take those breaks with them!

the only part of the quest that doesn't have a date assigned to it takes part in Lórien, it's the one where Frodo and Sam sing about Gandalf. and it's SUCH a good detail! Tolkien kept track of every event, of dates and even times of day for the entire duration of the quest, but this fragment is just Somewhere There, because in Lórien time seems to stand still, and you can never know when you are

the only other fragments which are confusing time-wise take place during the dark days with no sun, which is of course a great writing choice, but even they are described in Appendix B - the Lórien fragment has no date, no reference point, nothing

it doesn't hit you that much when you read the book, but the battle of Helm's Deep happened literally just one (1) week after the breaking of the Fellowship. Aragorn was out there having the Worst Week Of His Fucking Life

I loved feeling the impact of certain events more while reading chronologically (the three hunters running for days made more impact on me when I was sending yet another entry and they were still running)

before actually going through TTT and ROTK, I was preparing for very long entries for each day. but after the Tower of Cirith Ungol and the Battle of the Pelennor Fields (March 15th), the next ten days before the Ring is destroyed are so... empty in comparison. and it works amazingly well when you read according to dates. we hear just enough from Aragorn and the Host of the West to let the tension grow and grow. we hear just enough from Frodo and Sam to feel the oppressive atmosphere of these entries. but on the other hand, the entries are short enough to set our imaginations to work and make them fill in the rest. to me it's the perfect balance of the horror you read about and the horror you know is still there even after you close the book. this is what I mean by hidden gems, because it works that well only when you read day-by-day - in the book those fragments are just a few pages long, and you can get through those ten days very fast. but when you read according to dates, the torment is spread over so much time

the previous point is why I loved seeing the pacing in LOTR this way. in LOTR, so much can happen in ten days; and yet so little happened between march 15th and 25th besides fear and suffering

there was one part that gave me a headache because I spent so long trying to figure it out I forgot to eat - March 10th-14th in the Frodo and Sam subplot. it was a huge relief when I opened my atlas of Middle-earth and found its author Karen Wynn Fonstad had the same doubts when she'd been researching for the book that I did (and also that she arrived at the same conclusion).

apart from the March 11th-14th fragments, the most challenging day to edit was March 15th because Everything Happened So Much, and many things - simultaneously. it was a choice between chopping certain fragments into really small bits or sacrificing the impact of certain scenes

the only thing I'm sad about losing in this format is the ending, because Frodo getting ill and leaving Middle-Earth in fall, the same season as when he first set out, brackets the plot of LOTR such a beautiful and heartbreaking way and underlines one last time that "there and back again" is never really just that - you always end up somewhere else than where you started

[caninerat]

9pm, having my first meal of the day which is mystery soup leftover by my parents on the stove (what is blud yapping about) and it's time...for Kamen Rider Drive

right off the bat...did NOT expect this setting LMAO interesting start 🤔

THE CUT FROM DEATH AND TRAUMA TO TOY CARS LMAO (this is how I'm explaining it to my friends)

Is the purple car connected to Chase.. (the only character I know,, there's also Heart that Adri mentioned but idk much about him other than him being a great character)

OH OH I KNOW THERE'S A LOVE TRIANGLE (angle..?) TYPE OF SITUATION WITH THESE TWO AND CHASE (I've seen that singular clip of Chase about to confess but then seeing ...uhhhhhhhhh,,,Shinnosuke....???????? (I don't remember the name sorry) and going to discuss it with him and the scene having RIDICULOUS editing /vpos (the car noises cutting to the angelic noises bit was PEAK humour)

PURPLE GUYYY (Chase) HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also this song is a vibe. I like it 👍

OHMYGOD THIS FRAME IS FROM THE OPENING????????????????????????????????? I'VE HAD IT SAVED AS A MEME FOR MONTHS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH WAIT THE MEME HAS A WHEELCHAIR I FORGOT ABOUT THAT 😭😭

I remember before I watched W I thought that was Accel....

OH IT IS SHINNOSUKE!!! yippee for my goldfish memory....wait I just realised they're police officers (don't ask why I didn't process this during the opening 💀💀💀💀 I may be stupid /lh)

😭The driver is my favourite character so far.

Doctor Who the crimson horror????

😭 oops I got distracted cause June told me there was an Ichijo insert song (from Kuuga) and I ran to check that out...it was peak btw, that song will be playing on loop for at least the next couple of days.

this makes me thinking that meme was Accel funnier in my head.

Oh that fight theme is NICE I'm gonna look it up after this ep...

Also disregard my purple car statement earlier in the post LMAOO 🙏 I thought each car would be used by one person as the henshin device/gimmick or smth 😭

ALSO...Spike MLP BUT SHADOW ....LIKE FROM KABUTO????????? YAGURUMA?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Ok anyway back to Drive (oufsdgfksdgkjfsdhjfgdskjhgfjds Yaguruma........................fdsfsdgfjdsgjkhafgkgfkjhdsgfjsdgjfhksdglfdsglfgdskjhfgdsjkhfgsdkjfgsdjhgfsdjkhgfsdjhkgfsjkdhfjhsd missing her every day)

KUUGA??!?!?!??!?!?! (I just finished Kuuga today can you tell.....it was so peak btw!!!! PEAAAAAK I loved that season dearly <3 such a comforting series)

HE'S SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE <3

...??? I was gonna search up the Drive fighting theme but got distracted, ended up infodumping my friend about Yaguruma, and am somehow doodling her again while listening to a Hidenori Tokuyama song..how did I get here 😭 just had a moment of clarity lmaooo- STOP WHY DID I COME BACK TO THIS HAVING INFODUMPED ABOUT KUUGA NOW 💀💀💀 Ok. it's 11 pm...episode 2 time (bro can't watch shows normally)

WHAT??????????????????????????????????????? damn. I thought he had always been a belt I'm sorry 😔

OH HE'S ALIVE LMAO

why is he talking to me /lh

cunty ahh

Also slowdown is giving clock up /lh similar effects but...less?

I need to transcribe what just went down between me and my friends cause I joined vc like 4 mins before I finished the ep

Me: CHASE CHASE CHASE CHASE CHASE CHASE A: like from Jojo? Me: YES!!!!!! no actually this is the har har har har har har har har har har from Kamen R- A: wtf are you talking about Me: THE PURPLE GUY!!!! The purple guy from Kamen Rider *sends the image* MICHAEL!!! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!! MICHAEL !!! MICHAEEEL W: That's the Prowler

😭😭idk what just happened tbh that was very ????????

I FINALLY FINISHED THE EPISODE ASJFDGSJHKFSD this was fun btw idk why my brain lost track of everything

[rubykgrant]

Anyway, new Snow White nonsense has reminded me to re-watch two of my favorite weird adaptations of the story (I have them both on VHS... I'm actually not sure one of them is even available on DVD, but I could probably get the other at some point)-

Snow White a Tale of Terror (1997); this movie is like... not entirely "good", as a story? VISUALLY, with the aesthetic and the mood it sets, it is BEAUTIFUL. Very much with dark, gothic horror vibes (but it doesn't always pull that off well with the plot). It shows the "evil queen" as somebody who is a real person with real feelings, who reaches such an emotionally devastating breaking point, she becomes the villain. She's the most interesting aspect of the story (in my opinion anyway), and Sigourney Weaver delivers and absolutely wonder performance (something I find interesting in this adaptation and what is a common theme in most versions; the queen is generally considered to be obsessed with her own beauty, and so she's usually somebody who is indeed lovely, but with a harshness to her looks; like a beautiful diamond, with edges so sharp it can cut you. Sigourney Weaver is dressed up royally as the queen, but until she begins to have her break-down, she has a "warmer" disposition, and a look that is elegant but not intimidating... until she becomes DANGEROUS, and then she's less "so perfect it is frightening", and more out of control. eventually, she has her "old woman" disguise, which is both unnerving and disarming; and that's the point). The Magic Mirror is very mysterious and compelling as well; it is shown to be a source of the queen's deadly actions, encouraging her harmful behavior, jealousy, and cruel desires (there's like... a demon in there). I don't care much for Snow White's character (though the actress does a good job for herself) or the miners she meets later (not "fantasy dwarfs"... and one of them is a HORRIBLE PERSON). They're ALMOST interesting, but it just doesn't click enough for me. This movie isn't exactly "scary" enough to me to deserve the title "tale of terror", but it has some very unpleasant and shocking scenes (including sexual assault), but if you can handle that, it is worth a watch just to see the whole vibe it has going on (this is the one that is easy to find on DVD)

Happily Ever After (1989); this one is an animated movie, and let me tell you- it is BONKERS, and I LOVE IT. It is isn't afraid to be silly, and it also isn't afraid to take that silliness SERIOUSLY. It takes place some times after the events of the main story of Snow White (so, this is technically a sequel). The evil queen's brother, Lord Malice, has arrived at the castle looking for her. He finds little creatures having a "our boss is dead party", so he asks her Magic Mirror what happened, and he delivers this beautifully horrific rhyme as an answer- "When water flows as though it's bled, and skies doth change from blue to red, it's a sign for all the queen is dead". So, Malice wants to get revenge on Snow White for killing his sisters. He decides to first torture her by kidnapping her prince while they're just trying have a nice time picking flowers. Malice transforms himself into a monster, steals the prince away, and plans to make Snow White suffer trying to rescue him before just killing them both. Hahaha. Snow White runs to ask for help from her friends, the Seven Dwarfs, but discovers they've gone to open another mine in the next kingdom... but have asked their cousins, the Seven Dwarfelles to watch their cottage. Yeah. That's what their calling the girls of these fantasy-dwarfs. Dwarfelles. Oh, and also! Each of them has a magical power given to them by Mother Nature herself! They all have name-puns on what they do (Blossom controls flowers/plants, Marina controls water, Moonbeam has powers connected to the night. cute names, right? Well, the one who can talk to animals is named "Critterina", and the one who controls the earth is just named "Muddy". yeah. that's STUPID). One of them is Thunderella, who is supposed to have storm powers, but she's too timid and can't control her powers. They agree to help Snow White, and after a visit to Mother Nature, they begin their journey. I've watched this one so many times, and yeah, it really is nonsensical, but somehow manages to be a pretty decent movie. Like, if it got adjust just a LITTLE (better names for some of the characters for example), it would be pretty cool... actually, I think the part that hurts it is trying to make it a Snow White story. If it was re-worked to be a stand-alone original story about a new princess who meets a group of people with magic nature powers and saves her prince from an evil dragon wizard guy, heck yeah! All that is perfect! Kinda hard to track down, but a good one to watch. Oh, and it's got Ed Anser, Dom DeLouise, Zsa Zsa Gabor and Phillis Diller in it, so that's fun

[slashthrashandcrash]

I've been looking at the slasher x final girl oc's (and I love all of them) I was wondering if you'd give us anymore details about them, their first interactions and basically any thing interesting you'd be willing to tell us?

(I'm obsessing over your characters and knowing what little I do about them is making me mentally ill, especially the stranger, he reminds me of my favorite slasher (Jason) quite a bit)

I'm so glad you're enjoying them!! It's been a while since I've used 'em so it's been fun dusting them off from time to time--

Ashley and the Stranger are meant to be a homage to 80's horror in general, both the classics and the cheesy. The first time they met was during freshmen year at a frat party, although Stranger had seen her around campus a few times prior. She was drunk, but still friendly and wanted to get to know him a bit, even warning him to be careful because frat hazings these days were getting so ridiculous and she'd hate to see him get hurt.

By the next day after she sobered up, she completely forgot about the interaction and probably didn't even bother to get his name. The fact that all records of him being a student disappeared shortly afterwards didn't help, it was like he never existed to her after that night. But he never forgot their brief time together, that pretty little cheerleader who was the only one ever concerned for him...

Constantly dying and coming back as a vengeful killer only worsens his insanity with each "sequel", including his warped obsession for her. Each time, he's more hellbent on having Ashley, convinced they're meant to be for no other reason than she was nice to him for like 10 minutes years ago. He doesn't even register her fighting back or stabbing him or setting up traps, he's so blinded by his infatuation despite Ashley having no clue that they've met before.

Francine and Ripper are newer OCs, but they're a lot of fun because my girl is just so great to torment (:< I've braindumped so much about them to Blob--

They met while Francine was working on the scripts for that latest series of a semi-popular true crime podcast about the unsolved slayings of the Northshire Ripper (about 3-4 episodes). She started getting these emails from an anonymous account that was praising her writing and storytelling, so impressed with her level of research and details and how well she wove everything together, especially the observations she made on the murders. It was genuinely her first piece of fanmail, some actual recognition for all the hard work that goes into being a weekly ghostwriter that's often overlooked. She's thankful and beyond appreciative that someone would take the time to send her a thoughtful email, how sweet! (:

And of course, eventually the segment about the Ripper ends and the show moves on to cover another killer or disappearance or solved case, and Francine is back to researching at the whims of the cohosts. Her favorite fan starts emailing her again, asking why she's stopped writing about the Ripper when there's still so much more she could cover, more things she could go in depth on. These new cases are so overdone. The podcast hosts butcher her show notes half the time anyways (she posts the full version on their blog which is the only place she has a shred of credit listed), can't she just write more episodes for the Ripper instead? Please? No?

Well...good news, little lady! You know that serial killer you covered a while back, the one who was never caught, the one who seemingly disappeared after years of bloody terror? Wouldn't ya know it, he's finally come back after a near decade hiatus, creating human art pieces with newfound inspiration! Isn't that great, now there's so much new material Francine can work with to write show updates about him, especially while it's such a hot topic in the media. Now write. What's holding you back? Is this not good enough? Do you need more inspiration of your own? More personal? A demonstrative interview?

Anything to help out his favorite fellow creator~

[the-kr8tor]

Hey katy, katy hear me out. So actor hobie gets casted in this big horror film, he gets to play the role of the slasher. The main character though (reader) plays obviously the protagonist and it can be like similar to scream like the horror movie- but! Hobie and reader havent ever officially met or done a movie together and the first time they see each other they immediately have a click as costars and maybe more? They build a very close friendship even with the roles of killer and victim on the set, and maybe they fall in love era? I dont know my minds thinking of a good slasher film and characters rn

Imagine the first time you met actor! Hobie is in full costume complete with mask blood and all the jazz and you're super intimidated bc he's so tall and imposing and the way he acts has you screaming for real not just for the cameras but you were genuinely scared of him. But the moment the scene wraps and he saunters over to you, taking his mask off in the process, his smile practically blinds you and his voice? Ohhh he's got you stuttering and tumbling over your words. It's safe to say you're not scared of him anymore because he's so nice and makes you feel comfortable on set but the moment the cameras start rolling again your stomach flips and now you're actually (acting) running for your life but you find it hard to hide the lopsided smile on your lips bc of your new found crush

[sketchmre]

how do you choose color schemes for your art cos they're always so good, also i looove your horror magical girls <3

<3 receiving this ask made me SO excited i love talking about processes and techniques. anon i hope you enjoy the essay

note: for anyone wondering how i get the different color strokes in my art, that's color jitter! I can answer a different question on that, but it's just a brush setting that changes the color for each stroke. This answers how I choose the base colors :)

GENERAL RULES

I think the first thing to know about my process is that I'm weirdly strict with the colors I use? I see people who color pick and wiggle the color around a bit each time and it's really cool! But my brain doesn't like me doing that, so it makes most of my color palettes a pretty closed ecosystem.

As a overview, I have 3-4 "types" of colors with their own color gradients. Be aware of tone! Don't make the types of colors the same tone. Additional colors are made from combining the types. I use 25-75% opacity for new colors instead of blending them.

This is a good example of the closed ecosystem concept:

My 3 types of color are brown, green, and pink. The circles of colors are the ones I manually picked from the color wheel. The rectangular blocks of color are the new, in-between colors.

Something to note is that my new colors aren't 25% opacity, then 50% opacity, then 75% opacity. I draw a rectangular strip of the base color and draw over it with a 25% opacity brush. Then, I draw over half of that again with the 25% opacity brush. I keep doing this until I'm satisfied with my colors.

This character is a dryad and I wanted to add more interest to the bark skin, so I used the pink for some highlights. The brown and pink are both warm colors and it made the most sense to use them together. This is how it looks without the pink accent:

It ties the brown and pink together pretty nicely, right? I usually do this because I don't really like having two types of colors that are very similar in hue. If I have a pink-red color, then all pink-reds in the piece should be a color from its gradient (or a new color made from it). This makes sure all colors in the piece have a distinct relationship to each other.

(If I'm drawing something that's predominantly one or two hues, the threshold for merging colors is higher)

If that's not the case, then I prefer to manually include a gradient relationship. This particular instance was a little weird, where the brown seems more red than it is. It's actually an orange, but because I never used a medium or light toned variant of the color it just seems red. Changing its hue to pink would be pretty noticeable, so I chose to use the gradient method here.

Here's some other examples with the types explicitly added

and some with just the swatches

As a rule of thumb, there are usually at least 3 types of colors: skin, hair, and clothing base colors. Skin and hair are generally unique, but not always.

CHOOSING GRADIENT/SHADING COLORS

This might change in the future (i want to experiment), but most of the time* when choosing my shading colors I move counterclockwise from lightest to darkest.

I originally started doing this because I use the same color for skin shading as the blush, which was tinted red. In general, this works pretty well because when moving counterclockwise from yellow the average tone of the color decreases. Purple has the darkest tone, so red/blue/purple are often my darkest colors.

*There are exceptions to this, particularly when I'm using green or blue-green. If that's the case, then I do the same thing but clockwise. Purple is still my darkest value.

It's a personal preference, but I very rarely use a yellow as the light color in a shading gradient moving towards green. You'll usually see me use yellow and then move towards orange/red OR use a yellowish green and move towards blue/purple. I'm not the biggest fan of yellow-green and use it extremely sparingly. Consequentially, this does pretty distinctly separate my warm and cool colors. It's not intentional lol

HUE RELATIONSHIPS

To be honest, I usually have two types of color schemes: Boldly different colors or similar colors with a bold accent.

If anyone has seem my art then they know i LOVE a good contrasting color scheme. I know there's actual contrasting colors-- yellow-purple, orange-blue, red-green-- but in this context I'll be using "contrasting color" to refer to the actual contrasting color and it's immediate neighbors. For example, red and blue would be contrasting in this context. Red and purple would not.

The reason I want to make this definition is because I think that you can get the same visual impact of actual contrasting colors as long as a color is the opposite mood (warm/cool) AND not next to the base color. Using the same example, red would be a warm color with green as its actual contrasting color. Yellow is also warm, so we can't use that despite it being green's neighbor. Blue works. Purple is red's neighbor, so we can't use that despite it being a cool color.

Here's some examples of color schemes with really prominent contrasting colors:

For purple/orange

For red/blue

For pink/green

As for the other type of color scheme, it's 2 or 3 neighboring colors and a contrasting color (which is usually very saturated)

In some cases, the "contrasting color" is just a very light grey/white

In both cases, you just need a color that pops from the rest! Because my color palette is so limited, this accent color ends up being used for jewelry, trimmings, embroidery, etc. It helps tie everything together.

FINAL NOTES

I can (and will!) break the rules established here. I experiment, I make the objectively bad decision, I want to try other things. That's art. If you find something here that's interesting, try it out! Make it your own! (maybe tag or dm me, id love to see it)

If anyone has any questions, please let me know! I love answering these and it's really cool knowing someone might take inspiration from this :)