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taylor-on-your-dash · 1 year

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Writing of Speak Now Timeline

Disclaimer: Hello! Just a quick note before you dive in. As I said in the Writing of Red Timeline, not every album has enough information to pinpoint the exact date on which its songs were written. Sadly, Speak Now is one of those albums, so I based this timeline more on the experiences that I think inspired the songs on the album. Of course, I'm not Taylor, I'm not in her head and I don't know people in the music industry that can corroborate this research. Therefore, there's always the chance that some of the conclusions might be wrong. You are more than welcome to take the sources listed here and come up with your own theories on the condition that you'll credit me. This is 100% my research, originally posted on Reddit on March 3rd, 2023.

Trigger Warning: John Mayer.

Introduction: The making of Speak Now was very different from Fearless which was recorded live, and closer to Debut. After Taylor wrote a song, the first step was to record a stripped-down demo at Nathan Chapman's studio Pain In The Art, where Nathan would play all of the instruments and Taylor would record the vocals. To understand better what "stripped-down" means in this context, listen to Let's Go. All of Speak Now started like Let's Go. Some of the demo instruments survived, and others were re-recorded by other musicians or overdubbed at a later date, between January 2010 and July 2010. Taylor's demo vocals ALL survived. They were not re-recorded.

[Nathan Chapman Interview] “With Speak Now, we deliberately went back to our initial way of working together. We had an unlimited budget, and could have gone and recorded the whole album in the Bahamas, used any studio we liked and whatever musicians we wanted. But we decided to bring it back to the basics on purpose, because we wanted to keep it about the music and our chemistry. [We were trying not] to over-compensate for the pressure we were feeling for a follow-up to Fearless. That's why we stripped it down and made the demos first. Taylor came to my studio and I played all the instruments on the demos, and because I have a good vocal booth, her demo vocals ended up being the vocals you hear on the record. After finishing the demos, we went out to different studios, and tried different combinations of engineers and musicians to replace some of the elements of my demos, mostly the programmed drums, and to do additional overdubs. So Taylor comes in, and plays me a song, and I chart it while listening to her. I then tap out a tempo, she hands me her guitar, I go into a recording booth, put on headphones, start the click‑track and hit record. She's hearing what I'm doing and singing along while she's in the control room, so I know where I am in the song. After that, I program the drums, usually using Superior Drummer in Logic. I play the drum parts on my Roland Fantom G6 keyboard, and then quantise. I then play the fills that I want to complete the drum part. After this I'll put down a bass part, and at this point we make sure we're really OK with the tempo and that we love the arrangement. I may add an electric guitar to make the track bigger, and then she'll go into the vocal booth and she'll sing the song three or four times. We may do a little bit of comping, but she executes these songs really well, and I don't want to mess with her takes too much. The audience wants to hear someone sing with real emotion. From there we'll listen to what we have and we'll maybe add some vocal harmonies and guitars, and I do a quick mix and she's out of the door.”

WRITING OF SPEAK NOW TIMELINE

November 2, 2006: Taylor writes Sparks Fly, after opening for Jake Owen in Portland, OR, on Halloween night. The secret message in the album booklet is Portland, Oregon. She will perform the song for the first time on April 6, 2007, in her native Reading PA.

[From MySpace] Happy Halloween! I'm sitting at the airport in Portland, Oregon... About to get on a red-eye flight (Oh yes, I just said red-eye. Meaning, all night. This should be interesting...) to Toronto, Canada for another weekend of Rascal Flatts shows. Tonight was awesome. It was a show in Portland at a bar called Duke's, I opened up for Jake Owen. And a little back-story, I've had his album on repeat for the past couple of months... It's an amazing album and I literally cannot stop listening to it. I've got every line memorized, and if you see me on a plane.. Chances are, I'm listening to some song off that album, at a volume level that's probably going to cause long-term hearing damage someday. ANYWAY. I got to walk in on his sound check and meet him. Turns out he's extremely cool, and had bought my album on iTunes. :-) And since I had to leave after one song of his set, he played my favorite song "8 Second Ride" first. Which is another reason why he's awesome.

The writing date was leaked by Steve Hall from the IC on July 21, 2010. Since we didn't have the secret message yet, we didn't have any reason to believe it was written after the Jake Owen show. (thanks @backup-baby-backup!)

Original handwritten lyric sheet:

May 30, 2007: First performance of Sparks Fly in Oroville, CA. Steve Hall from the Inner Circle/Dark Blue Tennessee.com films it and posts it online.

Differences between the draft and the 2007 live version:

“You stand there in front of me” -> “you stood there in front of me”

“Get me with those brown eyes, baby” -> “get me with those green eyes, baby”

“Take your open hand and take me out” -> “reach out open-handed and lead me out”

“Dim the paper lanterns” -> “don’t need more paper lanterns”

“This night is the 31st” -> “my heart is beating fast”

“So let’s make it count now, baby” -> “I could wait patiently”

“I’ll run my fingers” -> “I run my fingers”

“And make no borderlines” -> “gonna strike this match tonight”

“Forgive me when I can’t take in everything you are” -> “and lead me up the staircase”

“You kissed me like you meant it, I swear I saw sparks” -> “I’d love to hate it, but you make it like a firework show”

There was also an additional section: We stood at the gate (and you kiss me) / With the moon on your face / And you’ll kiss me

September 2008: Taylor and Martin Johnson team up to write a diss track about Camilla Belle, called Drama Queen. This is one of the first steps in the Taylor-Joe-Camilla saga, which started with Forever & Always and Drama Queen and continued on Speak Now. There is no evidence that Drama Queen was considered for Speak Now, but for being an unreleased song, it made it as far as being mastered for the OG Fearless so it has to mean something. In my opinion, it would've taken Better Than Revenge's place, if BTR hadn't existed. Taylor talked about the Fearless mastering process on September 30th on MySpace: this song literally CANNOT be younger, since the mastering of a song is considered a legal document, necessary for copyright protection and the collection of royalties.

March 8, 2009: John Mayer tweets: "Waking up to this song idea that won't leave my head. 3 days straight now. That means it's good enough to finish. It's called Half of My Heart and I want to sing it with Taylor Swift. She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song."

Taylor's answer: "I freaked out when I heard [it], because I’ve been such a big fan of John for such a long time. I’m really excited about just the idea that he would even mention me in his Twitter!”

March 13, 2009: [From her Twitter] [second source] "A day off in Sydney. Drove two hours out of the city and spent the day on the beach. Wrote a chorus you'll hear on the next record. :)"

March 19, 2009: [From MySpace] ““I’m wiped out. I've been in the studio all day (I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.) It’s so much fun knowing that you can take your time, because you have like a year and a half to make something you’re really proud of. I love recording a few songs, waiting a few months, recording a few more.. Instead of devoting a few weeks to “record the album” and then it’s just done. I like dragging it out, that way you can be meticulous about every detail. Daydream about different ways to put the songs together, and then take them apart. I’m pretty obsessed with the whole process. So needless to say, it was good to be back in the studio with my redheaded producer who I missed terribly.”

Speculation: One of the songs is possibly Mr. Perfectly Fine, since, as we know from Fearless TV, it was considered for Fearless Platinum. Maybe Haunted was also part of the same recording session. Haunted is the first Speak Now song to be copyrighted, so it has to be one of the first songs.

‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through, because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.

The secret message is: "Still to this day".

Early April 2009: Taylor and Martin Johnson from Boys Like Girls write If This Was A Movie.

Speculation: I think it was written in April just because of the lyric "six months gone and I'm still reaching" and Taylor and Joe Jonas had broken up six months before, in October.

Literally nothing else is known about this song.

April 23, 2009: The Fearless Tour starts in Evansville, Indiana. Taylor will write most of Speak Now while on tour.

May 22, 2009: Taylor and John Mayer perform White Horse and Your Body Is A Wonderland at the LA Staples Center.

May 23, 2009: Taylor and John Mayer record Half Of My Heart.

May 29, 2009: [From MySpace] “Tomorrow, after the performance on the Today show, I’ll fly back to Nashville and record a lot of new songs I’ve written in the last few weeks.

June 8, 2009: [From Twitter] "In the studio. I don't know whose computer I'm using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now.."

June 9, 2009: [From Twitter] "If I said I was in the studio with T-Pain, would you believe me?"

June 12, 2009: American publishes an interview with Taylor where she talks about her third album. The interview was probably done in April.

“There are definitely breakup songs on this record, but not too many. I like to balance out the amount of happy songs, breakup songs, sentimental songs, I-miss-you songs, angry songs. I don’t want to try and harp on the same emotion too much because I feel like if you make the ‘angry’ album, that’s going to lose people.”

June 16, 2009: the Jonas Brothers release their new album Lines, Vines and Trying Times, which includes a song called Much Better, that references Taylor:

I get a rep for breaking hearts / Now, I'm done with superstars / And all the tears on her guitar

This is likely the song that inspires Taylor to write Better Than Revenge, since the phrase "much better" is used multiple times in the song.

“The song "Better Than Revenge" is about a girl, who a few years ago, stole my boyfriend. I think she probably thought I forgot about it, but I didn't.”

Fun Fact: Joe Jonas changed the lyrics from "I'm done with superstars" to "I'm cool with superstars".

July 1, 2009: [From MySpace] “What else is new... Recording a bunch of new songs.”

One of them is possibly Better Than Revenge, maybe even Let's Go. Taylor seems still bitter about Joe leaving her.

July 11, 2009: Taylor writes on her diary about going to an antique shop. This is probably the inspiration for Timeless.

[Lover Journal] I just got back from a trip to Canada that was absolutely refreshing and good for the soul. I never really knew what a good thing having no cell or internet could be. But it was a great thing. I did things a little differently up there, and I actually liked it. I started reading self-help books. It’s really uplifting knowing that you can change your life today, tomorrow … just by doing a few things you never thought of. Or doing things differently than you’ve done them before. New things I adopted from a self help book: Get up early. Keep your cool. Don’t tee off on people you love. Laugh more. You can control your moods. Create a love account and make deposits, in other words, show people that you love them. Another new hobby of mine is ….. antique stores. And not just neat, organized antique stores. I really like the ones where there’s so much crap to dig through, you can find absolute treasures for nothing. I went to 2 antique stores in Saskatchewan, and one today in Winnipeg. I bought all these old glass mason jars. I’m gonna use them for candle holders. I bought old scales and watch faces and chairs and old trunks and a bird cage and 2 lamps.

July 21, 2009: [From Twitter] Hanging with my producer Nathan, discussing the next adventure. Album #3.

July 2009: Based on a Lover Journal, I think that Taylor wrote Never Grow Up in July 2009.

Handwritten Lyrics From a Lover Journal:

‘Never Grow Up’ is a song about the fact that I don’t quite know how I feel about growing up. It’s tricky. Growing up happens without you knowing it. Growing up is such a crazy concept because a lot of times when you were younger you wish you were older. I look out into a crowd every night and I see a lot of girls that are my age and going through exactly the same things as I’m going through. Every once in a while I look down and I see a little girl who is seven or eight, and I wish I could tell her all of this. There she is becoming who she is going to be and forming her thoughts and dreams and opinions. I wrote this song for those little girls.

[Nathan Chapman Interview] “The song 'Never Grow Up' is just she singing and I on acoustic guitar. We recorded ourselves live. That song probably happened in two hours.”

September 6, 2009: Taylor announces Fearless Platinum Edition on MySpace, out on October 26, 2009. It includes Jump Then Fall, which was originally written in the summer of 2008, while Taylor was dating Joe Jonas. The secret message of the song is "Last Summer Was Magical". It seems like Taylor doesn't harbor bitter feelings toward Joe anymore.

“We just put out Fearless last year? I know! We’re not putting out a whole new album. We’re re-releasing Fearless with SIX new songs added. I’m so excited for you to hear this new music, see the new pictures, and watch the 50 million hours of bonus content. I love you a lot and I’ll see you on the road!”

September 13, 2009: New York. Night of the VMA incident, where Kanye West interrupts Taylor while she's accepting the Best Music Video Award for You Belong With Me. Taylor starts writing Innocent shortly after.

Based on the themes of the song and on the fact that, according to the booklet, it was written in 2009, I think that Castles Crumbling was also inspired by the VMA incident.

[GQ] “When the crowd started booing, I thought they were booing because they also believed I didn’t deserve the award. That’s where the hurt came from. I went backstage and cried, and then I had to stop crying and perform five minutes later. I just told myself I had to perform, and I tried to convince myself that maybe this wasn’t that big of a deal. But that was the most happenstance thing to ever happen in my career.”

September 15, 2009 (morning): Taylor is still in New York doing interviews, like The View with Whoopy Goldberg. Taylor says that she bought her own condo in Nashville. Unsurprisingly, the main topic is the VMA incident.

September 15, 2009 (night): Taylor attends Owl City's show in New York. She and Adam Young (aka Owl City) had exchanged emails in the previous months. She writes Enchanted after their meeting.

[MTV Interview] “I started writing that in the hotel room when I got back, because it was just this positive, wistful feeling of ‘I hope you understand just how much I loved meeting you.’ Using the word ‘wonderstruck’ [in the lyrics] was done on purpose, because that’s a word which that person used one time in an e-mail... so I purposely wrote it in the song, so he would know.”

[Adam Young Interview] When Young met the 21-year-old music superstar backstage at one of his shows in New York, he was starstruck. "She was on her way up to meet me and that was the most nerve-racking few minutes of my life just waiting to meet Taylor Swift," he says. "When I met her she was glowing and I was too. It's hard to put into words, but I was definitely wonderstruck to meet her." Unfortunately for Young, nothing ever progressed beyond emails and one fateful meeting. "I think I'm not the most romantic and eloquent guy in the world," he admits. "She's just this endearing, wonderful girl and maybe I said something wrong. Who knows. It went on for three or four months, something like that."

Speculation: I think that the first verse of Enchanted is a reference to the View interview that Taylor did that morning.

September 26, 2009: While touring in Little Rock, Arkansas, with Kellie Pickler and Gloriana, Taylor writes a song, possibly Last Kiss.

“The song ‘Last Kiss’ is sort of like a letter to somebody. You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a break-up. Going through a break-up you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future. There are times when you have this moment of truth where you just admit to yourself that you miss all these things. When I was in one of those moments I wrote this song.”

[Drummer Nick Buda on the recording of Last Kiss, recorded in mid 2010 circa] On "Last Kiss," South African-born Nick Buda said there was an air of real excitement when they were recording the album. “She is awesome to work with and super-appreciative of her players. There was a real chemistry involved in this record.” Their desire to get exactly the sound they wanted extended to changing Buda’s modern drum kit to a vintage one on some choruses in order to get a different tone from some of the bombastic “teenage rock band” sound. “The songs were so well written that very rarely did they go past a third take,” he said.

The secret message is "Forever And Always".

October 17, 2009: [From Twitter] Travis: you look so out of it. Me: I'm writing a song in my head. Travis: oh, I apologize. I didn't realize you were working."

November 7, 2009: Taylor sings "Monologue Song (La La La) at the SNL, where she mentions her breakup with Joe and dating Taylor Lautner.

November 30, 2009: Taylor tweets: “If I had a dime for every time my producer and I blurt out the same thing at the same time, followed by an awkward, uncoordinated high five...”

Late November/Early December 2009: Taylor writes Ours and possibly Superman. Maybe they're the songs Taylor was talking about in the tweet.

[People Country] “I wrote [Ours] when I was about to turn 20. I was in a relationship I knew people wouldn't approve of and it was just a matter of time before everyone found out. When you're first getting to know someone, it's a fragile time, and then you add newspapers and magazine covers and it can get kind of rough. I wanted to have this song to play for him when it got difficult. Singing it for him was one of the sweetest moments I can remember. [I won't say who inspired it], to me, the song says something bigger, which is "I love you, and I don't care what anyone else thinks."”

(About Ours) “I’m excited about telling the beginnings of stories, like the story of this song called ‘Ours,’ where I wrote it about this guy nobody thought I should be with. So I wrote this song specifically just to play it for him, just to show him, ‘I don’t care what anyone says. I don’t care that you have tattoos. I don’t care that you have a gap between your teeth. I love you for who you are.’ And that song ended up actually making it on [Speak Now] and becoming a #1 song.”

That's how Taylor broke down the lyrics for People in April 2012:

“Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves” -> "I felt like I was on a tightrope. I knew that falling in love with the wrong person could freak people out."

“So don’t you worry your pretty little mind” -> "A lot of people have pretty little heads, but it's difficult to find a pretty little mind."

“People throw rocks at things that shine” -> "I kind of made up the phrase. It has a nursery rhyme feel, which I like."

“The stakes are high, the water's rough” -> "Those are the first lines that came to me."

“Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles” -> "It stereotypes girls who that pretend they're happy for your and are not."

“I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you” -> "My realization of what we were up against came out in that line. I was desperate to make it work."

“Cause I love the gap between your teeth” -> "My favorite part of the song. It's symbolic of "I love your idiosyncrasies."

“And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos” -> "My dad thinks that this line is hilarious. He loves to tease me."

[About Superman] “This is about, well, a guy, as usual. This was a guy that I was sort of enamored with. This song got its title by something that I just said randomly in conversation. When he walked out of the room, I turned to one of my friends and said, ‘It’s like watching Superman fly away.’”

Dear John's secret message is "I Loved You From The Very First Day", which is a line from Superman.

The song also includes the line "Wishing the flowers were from you", which may or may not be the same flowers mentioned in Back To December ("You gave me roses and I left them there to die").

Gossip Speculation: This makes me think that Taylor was never deeply in love with Taylor L (-> "And I realised I loved you in the fall") and she left Taylor L for John Mayer (-> "And if you'd never saved me from boredom, I would've gone on as I was")

December 6, 2009: [From MySpace] “I just got back to Nashville this morning after being in LA all week. Today I was out and about and in the studio all day...”

December 11, 2009: Taylor and John Mayer perform Half Of My Heart at the Z100 Jingle Bell Ball concert in New York. After this concert, rumors of them dating surface.

December 13, 2009: Taylor turns 20.

December 22, 2009: [From Twitter] "I was writing a song and my pen fell into the piano. Still trying to figure out if I should do anything about this."

January 11, 2010: [From Twitter] "Studio-ness with all the same boys who played on Fearless. Home-made cupcakes were brought. Awkward fist-pumps happened. Onward!"

January 13, 2010: [From MySpace] Thank you January. I have had this month off. [...] I've written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother's birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long. I've gotten to take what has happened to me and process it to my full capability, and celebrate it the way it deserved to be celebrated. I've made new music. I've gone over the memories and jumped up and down with my producer and floated around with nothing on my schedule other than just appreciating what my life has somehow turned into. So thank you for giving me so much to be thankful for this January. Thank you beyond what I know how to say.

[From Twitter] "More recording. So excited. So excited. So excited. See, I said that three times. Once for every album we've made in this studio."

[Music News.com Interview] “The weirdest place I have ever written a song is probably in an airport, and I got an idea so fast that I had to run to the bathroom at the airport, grab a paper towel and write lyrics on the paper towel. I still have it. I still have it in a box in my room.”

“Getting back in the studio with the same guys I trust and know and love.. (right, the pointing one: my producer Nathan Chapman) (Left, the waving one: Bass extraorinaire, Tim Marks. Clearly marked on his road case.) Nick Buddha is in charge of the drums.”

January 2010: It's possible that one of the songs recorded during the January session was Speak Now.

[MTV Interview] "One of my friends... the guy she had been in love with since childhood was marrying this other girl," she said. "And my first inclination was to say, 'Well, are you gonna speak now?' And then I started thinking about what I would do if I was still in love with someone who was marrying someone who they shouldn't be marrying. And so I wrote this song about exactly what my game plan would be."

“This song was inspired by one of my friends who was telling me about her childhood sweetheart, crush guy. They were kind of together in high school and went their separate ways, and it was kind of understood that they were gonna get back together. Then, she one day comes in and tells me he’s getting married. He had met this girl who was just this mean person who made him completely stop talking to all of his friends, cut off his family, had him like so completely isolated. And I just, kind of randomly, was like, ‘So, you gonna speak now?’ She was like, ‘What do you mean?’ And I was like ‘Oh, you know, like storm the church, speak now or forever hold your peace? I’ll go with you. I’ll play guitar. It would be great.’ She was just kind of laughing, and later on I just was wrapping my mind around that idea of how tragic it would be if someone you loved was marrying somebody else. Later I had a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends getting married, and it just all came together that I needed to write this song about interrupting a wedding.”

The secret message for Speak Now is “You always regret what you don’t say.”

In January 2010, things are starting to get serious. Taylor, Nathan and the rest of the group, are at the Starstruck Recording Studio to finish up some songs.

Mid January 2010: In a Rolling Stone interview, Taylor confirms she has already recorded some songs.

“‘I’ll be moving out, living on my own, experiencing relationships,’ she says. ‘All of that will be documented in sort of a photo-album-slash-diary, which will be this next record.’ I’ve written so much for this next record and recorded a bunch of songs already, but I don’t want to give away any of the titles – it’s still too early in the process. I don’t really write for albums as much as I just write for my life and process what I feel, whether that feeling is resentment or hope or happiness or a crush — writing songs helps me get through those moments.”

January 31, 2010: Taylor wins her first AOTY for Fearless at the 52nd Grammy Awards.

February 1, 2010: Bob Lefsetz posts his particularly negative review of her performance with Stevie Nicks at the Grammy's. Mean was likely written shortly after.

“When you do what I do, which is you put yourself out there for a lot of people to say whatever they want about it, there are a million different opinions from a million different people. I get it that not everyone is going to like everything that you do, and I get that no matter what, you’re going to be criticized for something. But I also get that there are different kinds of ways to criticize someone. There is constructive criticism. There’s professional criticism. And then, there’s just being mean. There’s a line that you cross when you just start to attack everything about a person, and there’s one guy who just crossed the line over and over again. Just being mean, and saying things that would ruin my day. […] There’s always going to be someone who’s just mean to you. Dealing with that is all you can control about that situation, how you handle it. ‘Mean’ is about how I handle it, and sort of my mindset about this whole situation.”

"There's a song called 'Mean,' that I guess you could categorize it into feelings and or relationships but it's actually about a critic."

In a later interview with 60 Minutes, Swift revealed that the critic was someone who attacked her performance with Stevie Nicks at the 52nd Grammy Awards, where she sang off-key.

February 3, 2010: Taylor writes Mean.

[InDemand] "There's a song on the record called Mean. I remember I started writing it sitting on my kitchen counter, just playing it. Then I took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night, and finishing it in the dressing room.

I'm inferring the date but Taylor went to Australia on February 4th, so that's the closest date to the Bob Lefsetz's post. Alternatively, the other closest date is February 17th.

February 4, 2010: John Mayer is interviewed for Rolling Stone, and a friend of his says: "Nothing is what it seems. He operates in layers of meaning, where a poop joke is so much more than a poop joke. And he’d be a phenomenal chess player, because he knows all the moves so many steps ahead. That’s just how he operates.” (-> "And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules every day.")

February 5, 2010: Josh Farro from Paramore announces his engagement. Since he specifies that some people already knew about it, it is safe to assume that Hailey Williams, his ex-girlfriend and bandmate, knew before this date about it. Taylor's interviews imply that they were talking about the engagement, not the wedding.

I've got some news to share with you guys so here it goes... As some of you already know, I am engaged! So, as weird as it is to stay behind, I need to take some time off to plan the wedding and everything.

February 11, 2010: Taylor Lautner's birthday. Taylor doesn't call him, as she confessed in Back To December.

February 13, 2010: Based on a Lover Journal entry from this day, it seems like Taylor and John were no longer dating. Dear John must've been written around this period.

[Lover Journal, Flight from Adelaide to Nashville]: “My horoscope said today someone new is going to come into the picture and change my life in an exciting way. PLUS, its the 13th so it has to be true. Right? Right Well, I don't see it happening in the form of meeting someone. Maybe I'll get an email or a call. From someone fantastic and life changing. Or maybe I won't. That's more likely. I've been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it's just right. I don't know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it's there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep MY attention for 2 years.”

“The song ‘Dear John’ is sort of like the last email you would ever send to someone that you used to be in a relationship with. Usually people write this venting last email to someone and they say everything that they want to say to that person, and then they usually don’t send it. I guess by putting this song on the album I am pushing send.”

February 22, 2010: [From MySpace] “I’ve been writing lots of songs.”

March 10, 2010: Taylor writes Mine.

[InDemand] "I wrote Mine somewhere on the road, I think in Texas, actually."

According to three different Reddit sources, Taylor was dating a non famous guy from Belmont University. The coffee shop referenced in Mine is a coffee shop in Austin, TX, by the water called Mozart's.

“This is a situation where a guy that I just barely knew put his arm around me by the water, and I saw the entire relationship flash before my eyes, almost like a weird science-fiction movie. After I wrote the song, things sort of fell apart, as things so often do. And I hadn’t talked to him in a couple months. And the song came out, and that day, I got an e-mail from him. And I was like, ‘Yes!’ Because that one was sort of half-confession and half-prediction or projection of what I saw.”

“Lately I’ve had this bad habit of running away from love. Kind of getting to the place where it’s about to commit, and then you just, like, run in the opposite direction. ‘Mine’ is about the idea that I could find someone who would be the exception to that, someone who would be so sturdy and so much of a sure thing that I wouldn’t run from it. Sometimes I look back on a lot of examples that I’ve seen of love, long term, and a lot of times it doesn’t work out. There are goodbyes and people get really hurt, so I tend to be a little ‘run-awayish.’ But I’m never past hoping that at some point that could change. This song is the first single because it has this… There was this moment between Nathan [Chapman] and I, my producer, when I brought this song in and when we made this demo in one day in his basement and we just kinda looked at each other and we were like, ‘This is it. This is the one.’”

[Nathan Chapman interview] “The demo for 'Mine' took less than five hours to record, and sounded almost identical to the record. After that we worked on the track for another four months, off and on [until July], and spent $30,000 to make sure it sounded perfect in the real world.”

[Scott Borchetta Billboard Interview] "Mine" was a turning point in the album’s development. Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce. Swift presented "Mine" to Borchetta in his office, just a few doors down the hall from the leather couch in the lobby.

"We probably played that song four or five times," Borchetta recalls. "I’m jumping around playing air guitar, she’s singing the song back to me, and it was just one of those crazy, fun, Taylor teen-age moments." And then it got serious. "I said, ‘Keep going,’ " Borchetta says. "She kind of looked at me like, ‘You’re challenging me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah. You’ve found true north here. Keep going.’"

Taylor will talk about being challenged by Borchetta to write more for Speak Now during the Red Era:

“During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album's finished,' he said, 'No, it's not -- you need to keep writing.'”

Early March 2010: According to Scott Borchetta, shortly after he challenged Taylor to write more, she finishes writing Innocent, which she had started 6 months prior.

"Innocent," written after the VMA incident with Kanye West, for example, didn't come to Swift quickly. "Some songs take 30 minutes to write, and some take six months, which was the case with 'Innocent.'

“It took a while to write that song," Swift says. "That was a huge, intense thing in my life that resonated for a long time. It was brought up to me in grocery stores and everywhere I went, and in a lot of times in my life, when I don’t know how I feel about something, I say nothing. And that’s what I did until I could come to the conclusion that I came to in order to write ‘Innocent,’ " she says. "Even then, I didn’t talk about it, and I still don’t really talk about it. I just thought it was very important for me to sing about it.”

March 24, 2010: Taylor has lunch with Taylor Lautner. This meeting is likely what inspires Back To December. (thanks to @backup-baby-backup for locating the article)

[Interview Clip] Transcript: “‘Back To December’ is a song that addresses a first for me, in that I’ve never apologized to someone in a song before. This is about a person who was incredible to me- just perfect in a relationship, and I was really careless with him. So, this is a song full of words that I would say to him that he deserves to hear.”

[CBS Interview] She explained in the interview that she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she revealed. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."

April 3, 2010: Paramore's member Josh Farro marries Jenna Rice. Taylor attends the ceremony. She also goes to the studio in the morning.

[From Twitter] "Nathan you smell really good! Is that a new cologne?" "Thanks! Actually it's a two in one shampoo and soap. From Dial." My producer rules."

April 13, 2010: Taylor comes up with the title "Speak Now" after Scott Borchetta rejects "Enchanted". She also writes in her journal about getting tired of songs.

[From a Lover Journal] “So I've been obsessing over the new records to the point where it's all I can focus on. I'm majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I've raised the bar and I can beat half of the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn't talk about it in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I've been silent about so much that I'm saying on this album. It's time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!”

[Scott Borchetta Interview] “At one point, the record was not called ‘Speak Now.’ It was called ‘Enchanted,'” Big Machine president/CEO Scott Borchetta said. “We were at lunch, and she had played me a bunch of the new songs. I looked at her and I‘m like, ‘Taylor, this record isn’t about fairy tales and high school anymore. That’s not where you’re at. I don’t think the record should be called ‘Enchanted.'” Swift excused herself from the table at that point. By the time she came back, she had the “Speak Now” title, which comes closer to representing the evolution that the album represents in her career and in her still-young understanding of the world.

June 5, 2010: End of the Fearless Tour. Around this week, Taylor writes Long Live, scrabbling the chorus in her journal.

“This song is about my band, and my producer, and all the people who have helped us build this brick by brick. The fans, the people who I feel that we are all in this together, this song talks about the triumphant moments that we’ve had in the last two years. We’ve had times where we just jump up and down, and dance like we don’t care how we’re dancing, and just scream at the top of our lungs, “How is this happening?” And, I feel very lucky to even have had one of those moments, nonetheless all the ones that I got to have. ‘Long Live’ is about how I feel reflecting on it. This song for me is like looking at a photo album of all the award shows, and all the stadium shows, and all the hands in the air in the crowd. It’s sort of the first love song that I’ve written to my team.”

“"Long Live," (in parentheses "We Will Be Remembered"), is the first song where I've ever had parentheses in the title. Besides that, though, this song is about my band, and my producer, and all the people who have helped us build this brick by brick. The fans, the people who I feel that we are all in this together, this song talks about the triumphant moments that we've had in the last two years. We've had times where we just jump up and down, and dance like we don't care how we're dancing, and just scream at the top of our lungs, "How is this happening?" And, I feel very lucky to even have had one of those moments, nonetheless all the ones that I got to have. "Long Live" is about how I feel reflecting on it. This song for me is like looking at a photo album of all the award shows, and all the stadium shows, and all the hands in the air in the crowd. It's sort of the first love song that I've written to my team.”

June 9, 2010: Night of the CMT Music Awards, held in Nashville. 'CMT Music Awards' is the secret message of The Story Of Us.

“‘The Story of Us’ is about running into someone I had been in a relationship with at an awards show, and we were seated a few seats away from each other. I just wanted to say to him, ‘Is this killing you? Because it’s killing me.’ But I didn’t. But I couldn’t. Because we both had these silent shields up. I went home and I sat there at the kitchen table and I said to my mom, ‘I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.’ Then I got up and ran into my bedroom, as she’s seen me do many times. And she probably assumed I had come up with a line in the song.”

“'The Story of Us' is a song that I wrote about an awkward situation where, well… Let me just preface by saying that I have happened to run into exes in strange places lately. This is about one of those situations where the strange place that I ran into him was an awards show. I was seated a couple of seats away from him and there was so much that needed to be said, and neither one of us was willing to say it. We were both acting like we were engaged in conversations with people that we don't even know. It was just miserable. I was telling my Mom about it later, and I said I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room. And then I was like, "Gotta go. Bye!" And my Mom is used to that at this point so, that's what this song is about.”

June 13, 2010: Taylor premiers Mine during the 13-hour Meet & Greet at the CMA Music Festival. Fans ask a lot of questions about Sparks Fly.

“'Sparks Fly' is a song I wrote a few years ago and played in concert. You guys have learned it and I think like it, which makes me really happy. When we did the 13-hour Meet and Greet at the CMA Fest, there was a comment I got over and over again. You guys were saying, 'So what about 'Sparks Fly?' Is it going to be on the next record? [...] I played that song at maybe one or two shows, and you guys just jumped on it and really made it something that I had to put on the album because you really showed interest in it.”

Comparison between the 2007 live version and the final one:

First verse: You say my name for the first time, baby, and I fall in love in an empty bar -> You’re the kind of reckless that should send me runnin’, but I kinda know that I won’t get far.

Second verse: So reach out open-handed and lead me out to that floor / I don’t need more paper lanterns / Take me down, baby / Bring on the movie score / ‘Cause my heart is beating fast and you are beautiful / And I could wait patiently, but I really wish you would... -> My mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea / You touch me once and it’s really somethin’ / You find I’m even better than you imagined I would be / I’m on my guard for the rest of the world / But with you, I know it’s no good / And I could wait patiently, but I really wish you would…

Bridge: Just keep your beautiful eyes on me / Gonna strike this match tonight / And lead me up the staircase / Won't you whisper soft and slow / I’d love to hate it, but you make it like a firework show -> Just keep on keepin’ your eyes on me, it’s just wrong enough to make it feel right / And lead me up the staircase / Won't you whisper soft and slow / I'm captivated by you, baby I’m captivated by you baby, like a fireworks show.

Speculation: I think that the line "I'm on my guard from the rest of the world" from Sparks Fly being written after "And you figure out why I'm guarded" from Mine is very telling of what Taylor was going through.

June 16, 2010: [From a Lover Journal] After the CMT Music Awards, Taylor works on The Story Of Us for a few days, before finishing it on June 16th, on her way to Nathan Chapman's studio.

[MTV Interview] “I was at an awards show, and there was a guy there, obviously — it all starts there, doesn’t it? It was a guy I had been in a relationship with, falling out, then we end up at the same awards show, both trying to act like we don’t care, both like, you know, chatting up the people next to us. Afterward, I just felt so empty, like we were both fighting this silent war of pretending we didn’t care that the other was there. And I went home, and I wrote this song about it. And at that point, I had this gut feeling, and I knew the album was finished.”

[Lover Journal Page Transcript] “So I've been a little studio rat since the tour ended [...] I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning, throw on a sundress, skip makeup, tie my hair in a messy side-braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I'll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car three steps to Nathan's basement studio. I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan's this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort a torn sounding... like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you know the person you're pining away for is in the room. There are these invisible walls keeping things from being okay. So you're not fine. And they're not fine. And I'm happy I wrote that song!! :)”

Video: Making of The Story Of Us Demo

It will be the last song she writes before having a writer's block that will end 6 months later with All Too Well.

[USA Today Interview] [All Too Well] came after a six-month writing drought that followed a particularly toxic relationship. "There's a kind of bad that gets so overpowering you can't even write about it," she says of that time. "When you feel pain that is so far past dysfunctional, that leaves you with so many emotions that you can't filter them down to simple emotions to write about, that's when you know you really need to get out."

June 18, 2010: John Mayer presents Taylor with the Hal David Starlight Award, at the 41st Songwriters Hall of Fame Awards.

John's speech: “You could put her in a time machine in any era and she would have a hit record. Don't confuse everybody loving one thing as hype. Sometimes that's everyone agreeing that it's fabulous.”

From now on, Taylor will only focus on the production of Speak Now, tweaking the songs and overdubbing the instruments.

June 30, 2010: Taylor tweets about Amos Heller recording the bass on Mine at the Blackbird Studio. Clips from this day are also released.

July 8, 2010: Taylor is spotted in Maine, while filming the music video of Mine. The final mix of the song is not ready yet.

[Source] Taylor Swift was in Kennebunk today, July 8, shooting part of a new music video at Christ Church on Dane Street. The Rev. Janet Leighninger, pastor of Christ Church said they had been contacted a while ago by a company that scouts film locations and happened to check the church out one Sunday. “Then they called about a week ago and said could they possibly film here,” she said. Leighninger said she was told it would be a country artist shooting a music video, but not who the artist was. “We wanted to make sure it was appropriate,” she said. On the morning of the shoot, Leighninger discovered the artist was Swift.

[People who were there] "It was a blast to watch! Both Taylor and the guy in her video seemed to be having tons of fun and at one point where he proposes and they kissed he looked up at the camera crew and said 'She said no by the way.' The scene lasted about 30 minutes and then they started filming in the house again."

[Mixer Justin Niebank Interview] "Interestingly enough, I'd done some kind of pre‑mix of 'Mine' for a video thing, with the original drums and bass, and Nathan and Taylor were like: 'This is cool, but we want to go a little bit more for a power approach.' So by the time it got to the final mix they had rerecorded the bass and the drums and it sounded great.

The rough version of the final mix is called "Mine JN Master Mix", where JN stands for Justin Niebank. You can also see "SF" which stands for Shannon Forest, the drummer. The old stems played by Nathan are also visible.

To sum up all of the known Mine demos:

First demo: Recorded in March 2010; all instruments played by Nathan Chapman; Mixed by Nathan.

Second demo: Mixed in June 2010, made for the Music Video; all instruments still played by Nathan Chapman; Mixed by Justin Niebank.

Third demo: Called "JN Master Mix": Mixed on July 21, 2010, bass played by Amos Heller, drums played by Shannon Forest, mixed by Justin Niebank, mix ready or almost ready to be mastered.

July 15, 2010: Taylor and Toby Hemingway are spotted shopping in West Hollywood. This is also the day when the orchestra strings for Back To December and Haunted are recorded, arranged by Paul Buckmaster. Taylor's interview in the studio here.

“I wanted the music and the orchestration [for Haunted] to reflect the intensity of the emotion the song is about, so we recorded strings with Paul Buckmaster at Capitol Studios in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience – recording this entire big, live string section that I think in the end really captured the intense, chaotic feeling of confusion I was looking for.”

Late July 2010: In the meantime, Justin Niebank completes the definitive mixes. Mine is completed on July 21st specifically.

[Nathan Chapman] For Speak Now we had to mix 17 songs in three weeks, and I knew that I would want to go back to tweak some of the songs we had mixed earlier, and I did not want to have to recall the mixing board every time. There just wasn't time for that.

July 2010: Taylor moves out to her own condo in Nashville.

“This summer I've been 99 percent focused on my new record and one percent focused on the fact that I actually just moved into my first place. I'm officially moved in! I'm so excited! As you know, I've been constantly talking about how I've been antique shopping and non-stop planning and construction on this place. It's been really awesome to figure out what it's like to be on your own, just cooking and stuff. I'm having such a blast with it.”

The Never Grow Up secret message is: "I moved out in July".

July 2010: Shooting of the Speak Now Photoshoot with her band, The Agency.

August 4, 2010: Mine is released. It was supposed to be released on August 15th, but since it had leaked its release was anticipated.

August 31, 2010: The Mine Music Video is released. Taylor has a get-together at her home in Nashville with the kids in the video and their families.

Taylor broke down the music video in 2012 in this very funny interview for Vevo Certified;

Behind The Scenes Footage: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3 from the Speak Now Deluxe Edition/Target. This is very unhinged.

[Director Roman White comment] Creating this piece was beyond fun, and I’ve honestly never had a better time on a shoot. Was it crazy hot? Yes. Were there tons of bugs? Yes. Was all of this offset by the insanely gorgeous scenery? 100% YES! We shot the entire piece near Portland, Maine and much lobster was eaten! My AMAZING producer, Tameron Hedge, actually got accosted by a HUGE seagull who took off with her lobster roll (that’s how good they were). Other than that one little incident, Maine was absolute perfection. On the first day, we shot on a private estate with more than 2,000 acres and a private beach, rounding out the second day in a small harbor town. There was a lot going on, and I had a BLAST with the entire gang!

September 12, 2010: Taylor premiers Innocent at the VMAs, a year after the Kanye incident.

“You have to try really hard to regulate what you feel, what you let in, and what you don’t… but then when it comes to making an album, if you make everything general and kind of gloss over your actual, raw feelings, that doesn’t benefit anyone. As far as what to feel and what level to feel it, I can’t really control any of that. It’s just how things hit you, and what you let in is definitely something you’ve got to find a balance for.”

“I think a lot of people expected me to write a song about him. But for me it was important to write a song to him.”

October 25, 2010: Speak Now is finally released.

“There is also the fact that the album is called 'Speak Now,' and that pertains to the album as a concept and as an entire theme of the record, more than I can even tell you," she says. "I've been working on it for two years. Ever since we put out 'Fearless,' I've been writing for this record and conceptualizing it and putting it together in my head, what I wanted it to be. I like to take a lot of time between albums to work up the next one and see what it is. We did the same thing with 'Fearless.' We put two years in between it [and her self-titled debut album] and that gives enough time for me [to] write everything that I live. You have got to give yourself time to live a lot of things, so you can write a lot of things.”

“I wrote all the songs myself for this record. It didn't really happen on purpose. It just sort of happened that way. I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York; that would happen again in Boston; that would happen again in Nashville. The songs that made the cut for the albums are the ones that I wrote by myself so – wish me luck!”

“In life you have a lot of situations that pop up and people that come into your life, and sometimes you don’t get to tell them what you wish you would have told them,” Swift said. “This album is my opportunity to do that track-by-track. Each song is a different confession to a different person.”

“Some of the things I wrote about are things everyone saw me go through,” she added. “Some of the things I wrote about are things nobody ever knew about. I’m beyond excited for you to hear these stories and confessions.”

Bonus: The Vault

“My favorite thing to do is make a list of what the album can be, even when I'm in the beginning stages of writing the album and I've got three songs on the list. I still make a list of what the track listing would be like. Which [song] is track one, two or three. And then you keep writing more songs and writing more songs and all of a sudden you've got a list of 25 songs. What I would do is keep bumping off songs that I felt I had overwritten. As you keep writing more songs, your list gets better and better and better. And I did that so many times I can't even count!”

The Vault Titles:

Castles Crumbling

Someone Just Told Me

His Lies

Wonderful Things

I Can See You

Let's Go

Foolish One

Timeless

Bother Me

Electric Touch

When Emma Falls In Love

All of them are self-written.

This post will be edited once we will have additional info on the songs, especially the Vault Songs. Thank you for reading!

#taylor swift #speak now #writing of speak now timeline #speak now taylor's version #taylurking #speak now vault #vault songs #speak now tv #taylor swift timelines

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chvoswxtch · 1 year

Note

speak now — any headcanons about Matt and music?

i’ve been thinking about this since you first submitted it & doing some research (rewatching DD clips) so let's explore together nonnie

headcannon below the cut

timeless (matt's version)

so we know that matt likes vinyl records, which is one of the very few clues we get about what devil boy does for fun besides argue and bleed, which I think might be a preference passed down from his dad (jack might've been a collector and passed some down to matt as a kid), but I think it also has to do with the listening experience

I myself collect records, and have for several years, and listening to a vinyl vs listening to music on the radio or your phone is a different experience. sometimes the music can get a little distorted when listening on a phone, or there's interference from the radio, but vinyls usually produce a very crisp and clean sound which might work better for matt's sensitive hearing

I personally think he has a pair of noise cancelling headphones that he plugs into his record player sometimes when he wants to be able to listen to the music without any distractions picked up with his other senses (the buzz of electricity in his building, traffic, conversations of his neighbors, etc.)

I also feel like his taste in music changes depending on what he's doing

for example, if he's working on a court case, I feel like he would pick something like classical music or something instrumental so that there's background noise to soothe his already overstimulated mind, but no lyrics or anything to disrupt his train of thought/focus. think music you would hear playing quietly in a local coffee shop

however when he goes to fogwells, I think he definitely chooses music that will keep him amped up, probably some kind of high energy rock or hip hop with heavy bass and beats he might use to time his jabs at the punching bag

as for what his favorite kind of music in, honestly I think it varies

I could see him in the kitchen cooking with a glass of wine, playing something like frank sinatra, etta james, the temptations, sam cooke, etc. something soulful and a little jazzy that makes him feel relaxed, but also move around his kitchen with a pep in his step

something tells me jack was a classic rock guy, that's just the feeling I get from him. I think this is what matt listens to when he wants to feel close to his dad, or maybe like on sundays when he's cleaning and unwinding, trying to get ready for the week. maybe like the eagles, fleetwood mac, pink floyd, journey, led zeppelin, etc.

I think all of the newer music he listens to is definitely influenced primarily by foggy and karen

foggy nelson is a huge 80s guy. he knows EVERY hit from the 80s and will proudly sing them drunkenly at karaoke. given that he and matt lived together, and shared a broom closet at landman and zack together, and are essentially in a civil union for all intents and purposes, Matt knows a lot of 80s hits bc of foggy.

karen on the other hand is a 90s/early 2000s girly. she's definitely the reason matt suddenly realizes one day he knows all the lyrics to "baby one more time" by britney spears and was quietly humming along in his office while foggy was belting it in his. i'd like to think she plays "wannabe" by the spice girls at least once a week in their office and one night after a few drinks taught both of them the dance which she can only get them to perform after several rounds at josie's

I also think frank is a classic rock kinda guy (we know he likes bruce springsteen) and I have this adorable picture in my head of frank coming over to borrow vinyls from matt, and even adding a few of his own to matt's collection

all the grunge in his collection came from jess and no one can convince me otherwise (here's the angsty music I like to brood to, enjoy- jess)

given the fact that matt speaks spanish, i'd like to think that he enjoys reggaeton and maybe even tejano music (I like to think he's a selena fan, but that could be me projecting)

he's a swiftie. foggy and karen are swifties and successfully convereted matt into a swiftie, whether he likes to admit it or not. i said what i said (frank is next to be converted)

now i'm very curious to know what kinda music y'all think matty likes??

#court’s 3k followers celebration #court's 3k friends celebration #the eras tour (court's version #court answers #matt murdock #matt murdock request #matt murdock headcannon #daredevil #daredevil request #daredevil headcannon

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watchingyouflytl · 24 days

Text

Chapter 1: Nozomi Kasaki is Unlucky (Part 4)

What stopped Natsuki’s long recollection was the melody of an electric guitar that sounded like the whinny of a horse. When they went to karaoke, this was always what came last. Natsuki opened the soft case she had brought in, placing the electric guitar atop her knees. If she connected the guitar to the karaoke machine with a shield cable, it quickly transformed into an instant live venue.

Karaoke these days was really convenient, since you could tune your instruments, and even customize effects. On top of that, displaying the guitar chords on the monitor meant it could be used as a substitute music stand.

What a perfect place it was to spend this moratorium period in January, on the cusp of graduation. There was no one who would mind no matter how much noise they made, and any way they chose to spend their time was allowed.

The guitar Natsuki held in her arms was a Yamaha Pacifica 112V, and its color was Old Violin Sunburst. Its glossy dark brown got darker the closer it got to the edges. Natsuki had received it from her older cousin, and it was her first electric guitar.

And sitting next to Natsuki was Yuuko, who had a differently colored version of the same guitar model. The one she was using was in Vintage White. Even though it had the same shape as her guitar, the design used ivory as its main color.

Yuuko had bought this guitar after that summer. The two of them had gone to a music store. Thinking back on it now, that had been the first time they had gone somewhere with just the two of them. Natsuki had responded to Yuuko’s request of “For the moment, I want a cute one,” by recommending the same guitar model as her own.

Had she planned to follow Natsuki’s advice from the beginning? Yuuko had promptly made her decision, breaking into her savings from her new year’s gift money and buying a guitar set that had tens of thousands of yen. It had come with necessary items for beginners like a mini amp and a tuner, a shield cable, and a strap.

The awkward movements of Yuuko’s fingers in the beginning had, after two years, come to the point where they looked good. Perhaps the speed at which Yuuko had absorbed it had been because Natsuki had been skillful at teaching her, or because of her natural musical sense. It felt good to have the upper hand and take on the role of a teacher, but it was much more fun now that they were able to play together with an equal relationship.

Natsuki enjoyed the sensation of sliding her fingers across the six strings. Fat strings, thin strings. By adding just a bit of stimulation, the difference became absolutely clear.

“What should we play? It might be good to practice the graduation song.”

Finishing her tuning, Yuuko played the strings with her pick. Their twang resounded strongly through the speakers.

Natsuki had started the guitar in her second year of middle school. Her cousin, who had formed a band in university, had taken the opportunity of getting a job to buy a new guitar, giving her the guitar she had been using up until that point. The reason her cousin had bought an electric guitar instead of an acoustic guitar had been because, in her not-properly-soundproof room, she had been able to practice by plugging headphones into the guitar.

The melody directly rattling your eardrums through headphones was wonderful, but freeing your ears to hear the guitar felt even better. The tingling vibrations directly reached your skin, sending shivers all the way down to the pit of your stomach.

“The graduation song, huh, I haven’t really liked it for a while.”

“That’s cause you’re twisted, Natsuki.”

“To put it simply, I can’t relate to songs that say nice things.”

“There’s no way that only bad things are the truth, though. It’s just easier to look like you mean it when you have bad intentions.”

“As expected of the president, you sure know how to say it.”

“You’re making fun of me, aren’t you.”

“It’s what I really think.”

Yuuko sniffed. Her legs, dangling from the sofa, crossed and tightened inward.

Would she shed tears at her high school graduation ceremony? Like Nozomi had that time.

As hard as she tried, she couldn’t imagine her own face as she cried, so Natsuki gazed at Yuuko’s side profile as she fiddled with the karaoke control panel. When the music started, the room became darker. The contours of Yuuko’s smooth cheeks were illuminated by the colorful light spilling from the screen.

After their graduation ceremony would be their university’s entrance ceremony. Natsuki would be going to the same school as Yuuko and Nozomi, so their drifting apart didn’t feel quite real. Since Nozomi had come back to the concert band in their second year, the four of them had pretty much been together. They had been about to fall into the delusion that these normal days would continue endlessly, but every time the topic of Mizore’s college of music came up, they knew that that was an illusion.

Mizore would be taking the entrance exam for a college of music. Even if Nozomi wasn’t there.

“Hahhh.”

Yuuko asked the deeply sighing Natsuki, “What’s up?” with a fed-up face. Placing the tablet atop the table, she faintly narrowed her eyes. Not particularly liking the gaze that seemed to be seeing through everything, Natsuki purposefully made her voice more cheerful.

“Just wondering what clubs we’ll join when we go to university.”

“Nozomi was saying she’d join the orchestra club.”

“She would do something like that, that girl loves the flute.”

“What are you gonna do, Natsuki?”

“Hmm.”

Cradling her guitar, Natsuki rested her chin in her hands. She had no intention of continuing with the same instrument the way Nozomi did. That was because she had already been satisfied by her time in the concert band. Natsuki and the others’ generation had left behind spectacular results in both their second and their years, and she had gone all out in her job as the vice president, completely out of character for her. Perhaps the most fitting expression for it was that she had become burned out.

Yes, Natsuki was burned out. She still loved the euphonium now, as well as concert band. But beyond that, she didn’t want to try her hardest in that way ever again. She was tired.

“How about you, Yuuko?”

At her question, Yuuko grasped the guitar in her hands as though she were hugging it tight.

“I want to play guitar.”

“Like now?”

“Even more than now.”

“Is the president cheating with light music?”

“It’s not cheating, I truly love both of them.”

Holding the strings down with her fingers, Yuuko strummed the guitar with her purple pick. Mixing in with the sounds flowing from the TV monitor, the impromptu music came to life in the narrow space. Yuuko always played the guitar so enjoyably. Her small lips beat out the “la la la”s of a nameless melody.

How was it for Natsuki? She liked playing the guitar, but that was all. She wasn’t thinking she wanted to be a pro, nor did she think she could.

In the bass section, there had been a kouhai in the year below her from a powerhouse school. She had been in charge of the concert band’s single string instrument, the contrabass. It didn’t suit her small figure, that two-meter-tall instrument. But, in defiance of the gap in size, her kouhai had shown off her performing skills with an innocent smile. It had been amazing. It had been overwhelming.

When that girl had played the guitar at a concert, she had honestly been shocked. Because she had been on a similar string instrument, letting the contrabass girl play the guitar had been an easy decision. Her kouhai had laughed, “They made me play it in middle school a lot too,” looking unfazed at the high-level sheet music she was playing.

Why on earth was it that she continued to play guitar herself even when she had realized that was what you would call genius? The earth was overflowing with both geniuses and hard workers, so a regular person like herself sometimes lost sight of the meaning of why she was playing music at all.

“Ah, it’s your favorite band.”

Natsuki consciously raised her gaze from where it had fallen at Yuuko’s words. Antwerp Blue had appeared on the information channel being broadcast to the karaoke room. They were talking about the new music that Natsuki had just bought. Every time the vocalist said something, the young female MC would interject exaggeratedly.

“I wanted to make a song that the listeners would think is fun to listen to.”

The vocalist calmly spun his words as he showed white teeth appropriate for a performer. It wasn’t as though they really needed to care what the people listening to them thought. Just seeing the members enjoying themselves was fun for Natsuki.

“I really like their new song.”

Yuuko said this carelessly while pointing to the screen. Natsuki gave a wry smile, thinking that their interests really were direct opposites of one another.

Their footsteps on the way home from karaoke were slower than usual. This was because the guitars they carried were heavy. In the end, today Natsuki and Yuuko had stayed at the karaoke place from 10:00, when it had opened, until 7:00, when free time had ended. Since it was cheap, oftentimes they’d unexpectedly come across other Kitauji students. When they had run into a concert band first-year once, their amazed words of “You are getting along well as usual, President and Vice President” had been a bit baffling. Mainly the “as usual” part.

“Nozomi didn’t do guitar even up to the very end.”

As Natsuki mumbled this, Yuuko said somewhat sulkily, “She’s devoted to the flute.” Yuuko had reached out to her several times about whether or not she would start the guitar, but Nozomi had turned them down every time. Though she was kind to everyone regardless of who they were, she had some unexpectedly stubborn parts as well.

Her exhaled white breath. Natsuki looked up at the sky as snow blew in her line of sight. It was wet snow with a lot of moisture in it. By the time the snowflakes fell to the ground, they had almost entirely melted into droplets of water. If it had been raining, she’d have opened her umbrella, but since it was snow, perhaps it wasn’t worth bothering. Watching a pattern of water droplets forming on Yuuko’s coat, Natsuki rubbed her elbows.

“You two going home from somewhere?”

Yuuko called out as she dashed forward towards something she had found. Beyond her waving hand were Nozomi and Sumire. So Nozomi’s previous plans had been with Sumire. Nozomi and Sumire both laughed together at the sight of Natsuki dashing after Yuuko.

“You two are always together, Natsuki and Yuuko,” Sumire said with a grin.

“It’s not like we always are, though. Anyway, where are you two going?”

Casually denying this, Yuuko countered them with the same query. Digging through her shoulder bag, Nozomi took out a flier, saying, “Here.” The yellow rectangular paper was printed with the name of a cafe in a rather fashionable font.

“What’s this?”

“We were checking out venues. We’re going to hold an event here.”

Sumire answered Natsuki’s question. Yuuko blinked in surprise. “An event.”

“The five of us formed an instrumental band when we quit the concert band, didn’t we? So we were thinking of renting this cafe with just our band to do an event celebrating graduation. Tickets are 500 yen per person, so if we invite about 40 friends, we can pay for it.”

“Nozomi, aren’t you not involved with the light music club?”

“I’m just tagging along because it seems interesting. Since Sumire and the others are working so hard, I want to cheer them on.”

“When I asked Nozomi to be a part of the band, she rejected me.”

Sumire said this in a voice that didn’t suggest any sad feelings at all. Nozomi lightly lowered her eyebrows.

“After all, there’s only five members in Reticle, right? There’s no way I could suddenly step in.”

“You could just participate as a guest.”

“If I were going to participate, I think it would just be as a staff member. I’m sure there’s a lot to help out with.”

“Nozomiii! What a nice girl you are, that would be a huge help!”

Sumire clung to Nozomi with a theatrical exclamation. Sumire was always high-energy, and Nozomi laughed with her mouth wide open.

“Reticle” was the name of the instrumental band that Sumire and the others had formed. Since it was made of five members who had quit the concert band, it was made up of a drummer, a keyboard player, a trumpet player, a sax player, and a trombone player. They were entirely devoted to playing jazz, and even appeared in events outside of school.

“Ah, anyway, why not ask Natsuki and Yuuko?”

The carefree, laughing Nozomi suddenly turned her focus on them. “For what?” Natsuki asked, tilting her head. Sumire, having abandoned her, clapped her hands together in delight.

“That might be a good idea!”

“No, what do you mean?”

“We’re looking for a band to do the opening act for our event! Just having our band play for two hours feels kinda lacking, so we were wondering if someone else could also come out. See, if we had someone singing, it would really get everyone pumped up.”

“No, we don’t really know any bands ourselves, though?”

Though it was a very direct answer, Sumire let out a shout of laughter as though she had said something funny.

“What are you saying. You and Yuuko should come perform, Natsuki. On your twin guitars.”

“Huuuuuh?”

Natsuki and Yuuko’s exclamations harmonized perfectly. In the interlude, Nozomi unnecessarily said, “Perfectly in sync.”

“Kids from Minami Middle will be coming too, so I’m sure they’ll be happy to see you having fun, Natsuki, Yuuko. How about it, a two-piece band?”

How about it, Natsuki had never had the urge to form a band with Yuuko before. Nozomi grasped Natsuki’s arm as she was about to immediately refuse, smiling innocently at her.

“Should be good. I know the concert band kids will also be happy to see the President and Vice President combo!”

President and Vice President. Though they were her and Yuuko’s titles, being thought of that way by Sumire made her feel a bit uneasy. Surely, to Sumire, the words “president of the concert band” would still point to Nozomi.

The continuation of the cut-off recollections she had had earlier was both a bad end and a happy end. The year after Sumire and Nozomi and the others quit the band, the new music teacher and advisor Taki had come to Kitauji High School to replace Rikako-sensei when she had gone on maternity leave. He was the exact opposite type from before, a presence that combined the high schoolers’ expectations and nightmares as a Spartan and handsome and capable instructor.

In the beginning, he had been called horrible things like “the devil” and “ogre,” but Taki had painted over the club’s lazy atmosphere before their eyes. He really had amazing skill. It was enough to make you laugh dryly, since what had the struggles of the members who had quit even been for?

Nozomi had returned to the concert band the summer of their second year. Kitauji, which had been a weak school, had been confirmed as an entrant in the Kansai Competition, and the 55 A members had already been decided. Seeing Kitauji being reborn, Nozomi had quit the adult concert band circle and decided to come back to the concert band. Of course, she hadn’t been able to participate in that year’s competition.

If Nozomi hadn’t quit the club, surely the future would have been different. She would have been absorbed into the center of the club, and would have been able to put her quick wits to good use without any regrets. She might even have been the club president instead of Yuuko. Thinking of Yuuko being the vice president supporting her made her resent how rich her own imagination was.

Even though Nozomi became a concert member when they became third years, even though they got results at the Kansai Competition, guilt haunted the deepest part of Natsuki’s heart.

Because, at that time, the one who had pushed Nozomi had unmistakably been Natsuki.

She should have told her to stay in the club. She should have said, with a hell of an expression, there’s no one else who loves concert band more than you. But that was all in the past.

She was slightly startled by the coldness of the snow that plopped right onto the tip of her nose. She realized how far they had come since the crossroads that summer had been. Natsuki exhaled in a puff of white breath with no lingering regrets as Sumire put her hands together, asking “Please!”

Any sentimentality that she held might possibly have been contempt.

“That might be nice, a band.”

As Natsuki nodded, Sumire raised both hands in a show of overexaggerated happiness.

“Don’t go deciding things on your own.”

White snowflakes fell on Yuuko’s bangs as she puffed out her cheeks. Trying to catch them between her thumb and pointer finger, Yuuko brought her eyebrows together even more discontentedly.

“Nice, now you’ve also gotten motivated for real, haven’t you?”

“Doing it in and of itself is okay. It’s not that, it pisses me off that you decided this on your own, Natsuki.”

“What a pain.”

“What was that?”

“Seeeee, Yuuko-chan. Let’s form a band together, ‘kay?”

“Excuse me, I’m not a five-year old kid, though?”

Natsuki was swayed by this feigned grumpiness. That was because she now knew that that was Yuuko’s way of indulging her.

“Seriously, you two get along so well.”

Natsuki stole a glance at Nozomi’s profile as she said this with a light tone. It was always only in a single moment when Nozomi showed a sign of melancholy.

The edges of her lips lifted, and with a glimpse of her white teeth, the usual pleasant smile returned to Nozomi’s face.

“I’ll also cheer you on with Mizore.”

Yuuko responded to Nozomi’s words with “It can’t be helped” in a not-at-all-bad voice. Feeling the weight of the guitar on her back, Natsuki re-wound the scarf that was getting warm around her neck.

The fact that she wasn’t carrying a euphonium was just a little lonely.

Chapter 1 Nozomi Kasaki is unlucky.

(Maybe that’s also a likable part of her)

#final part yay!#it's band time let's goooo #translation #hibike! euphonium #novel #小説 #英訳 #watching you as you fly away #飛び立つ君の背を見上げる #響け！ユーフォニアム #chapter 1

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lifeafterthelayoff · 6 months

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Part II, Day 65

Soundtracking for life like a film.

Sounds, like scents, can trigger powerful memories. Sometimes you even know in the moment that a song will be tied to an era or event from that point forward. We’ve all got those songs, playlists, or albums from our past that bring us right back. For me, this moment is no exception.

It’s no summer of ‘94, when I was between my junior and senior year of high school. A humid June night, windows rolled down on my white Mustang coupe, the huge stereo blasting the new Stone Temple Pilots CD. It was the night of the O.J. Simpson car chase. I kissed a girl for the first time that night.

It’s no May of 2008, when we put Nick Drake’s “Pink Moon” CD on the tiny boombox in the hospital the day my daughter was born. It was the first music she ever heard. No Raffi singalongs over here.

And it’s no September 2014, when I commemorated moving into our house by putting on the “Fun House” LP by Iggy and The Stooges. I’d unpacked the records and hooked up the stereo, and made this selection carefully. We rocked it.

This moment is something different. I find myself listening to three things:

🎶 “Crop Circles” by Tash Sultana, from her “MTV Unplugged” album. This is a late addition from my pal Rian, but one that’s gotten heavy rotation, as there’s just something about the wordless vocal parts that are tied directly to my heart. Just stunning.

🎶“Witchita Lineman” by the Dick Slessig Combo. Yes, it’s the Glen Campbell song, and yes, they play the most meditative, instrumental, 42-minute version of this song you’ll ever hear. Time stops and you can get absolutely lost in this one. It’s only on YouTube.

🎶 “Where We Stand” by the jazz-rock band Harriet Tubman. If my life were a film right now, this is the tune that would be my character’s theme. It plays in my head automatically when things get a little tough. The rubato drums and moody electric guitar will have you in your very own existential crisis.

For other work sounds, you might enjoy this playlist of 20 jams, each tune featuring “work” in the title. Headphones on, spirits up!

#Spotify

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all-the-fun-of-the-cirkus · 6 months

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another first impressions, and this time we have neil young's debut

i have a confession to make; i know nothing about buffalo springfield. sure, i've heard for what it's worth and mr. soul, but beyond that, i only know what neil's played solo. it's an appalling gap in my knowledge, i know, and it means that this album feels like a missing link between his solo career and something i'm completely unfamiliar with

a lot of people consider this a weird piece of juvenilia, and everybody knows this is nowhere to be his proper debut, and i must admit i'd sort of mentally categorised it as such too. i mean, overproduction? strings? instrumentals? on a neil young album? bah. but he'd been writing songs for a while at this point, and i must admit i was pleasantly surprised at how good this was

well, at how good the songs are. this record does not sound great. the vocals are the biggest problem; neil's clearly not confident at this point, and his tentative delivery reminds me if me when i was younger trying to sing in my bedroom quietly enough that no-one would hear me. the production's as solid as briggs' efforts normally are, but the arrangements are all over the place. stand out moment is in here we are in the years, where the left channel electric guitar is abruptly forced out by a far-too-loud acoustic guitar which is in turn forced out by brass in the centre channel (i guess you could say that's a representation of country life winning over city life, but it sounds downright amateurish in execution). and i have no idea how you get a singer as amazing as merry fucking clayton to sound awkward, but i've loved her so long manages it

but yes, the songs are real damn good. my fav is actually here we are in the years, which is absolutely beautiful. what fascinates me most is that i don't think any section repeats? like i've only heard it once (well, twice, including the fuzzy bootleg live version from 1973 i have) but it's not ABABCAB or whatever, it's like ABCD. but w/ever, the melody's lovely, the lyrics sweet, it's a real highlight. the loner is obviously great, and as much as i probably prefer bowie's version i've been waiting for you is just a wonderful song, with a great guitar solo. be a better solo if it didn't swill around my headphones but y'know

actually that's another thing, this album sounds so 60s. and not even, like, 1969 60s, just a sort of nebulous representation of the decade. it's dated, sure, but there's kind of a naive charm in it; in no other decade would he have written something like if i could have her tonight, for instance

the other thing that surprised me was that the only core tenet of neil's ouvre that's there off the bat is the weird incomprehensible acoustic stream-of-consciousness song that lasts fifteen minutes. yup, in the grand tradition of stuff like ambulance blues, the old homestead, will to love, we get the last trip to tulsa. this one's a little different, though, clearly heavily influenced by bob dylan's dream(s), it's just kind of silly, which isn't a criticism. it's lightweight, a little lullaby-ish, but it's nice

i haven't mentioned everything, and not everything i've left out is good (the endless old laughing lady or the weird blue moves-era-elton-john instrumentals, for instance), but otherwise i was pleasantly surprised by this album. think i'll be seeking out live versions of the tracks in future, though

#neil young #folk rock

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gweathney-propaganda · 7 months

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why i love The Electro Suite by Hans Zimmer

okay guys, my first big rant! warning though, this will be very long, i'm not the best at explaining things, musically, and i will be veryyyy silly (kinda inspired by this video, go check it out)

I'm going to format this as if you were listening to the song, so bear with me. I highly recommend listening to the song while reading this too, you can find it here.

The song starts out pretty simple, a quiet but cheerful melody, with some trumpets as backing. But, there's something off. The appearance of voices. They're quiet, but noticeable, like a nagging voice in your head. It gives off the vibe of a person that is very kind and generous to others, but often lacks to take care of themselves, with very low self esteem. They often feel worthless compared to others, the voices in their head talking down to them, calling them 'weak' and 'worthless' (I will get into the actual lyrics later on, don't worry).

They most likely aren't recognized for their feats by their peers, which only makes their self-esteem and confidence worse.

But, just for a moment, the voices get louder. More prominent. More powerful. This shows how much power the voices have over this person, and how this person is slowly losing their patience over being ignored, over and over.

The song takes a darker turn, with a loud booming drum in the background, the voices louder, the trumpet sounding like it's wavering. This person, is now becoming desperate. They're tired of being ignored, being pushed away by others, being treated like nothing. They try more and more, but their efforts are futile, sending them into a deep cycle of torment inside their own mind. But it can't get worse, right?

Then comes the violin. Sharp and disorienting to the ear, making it sound like something is wrong. Very wrong. But even with everything negative, that trumpet is still there, signaling that, whatever that's going to happen, doesn't have to. It can be avoided, It can be stopped. But if you listened to the song/watched the movie, we all know that isn't the case. The violin and other instruments hit a climax, the voices being the most prominent, and then...

Pain. Nothing but, pain. The quiet but menacing instruments are replaced with a loud, painful electric synth, a screeching guitar riff, with screams of pain in the distance, overwhelming the listener. I think it's simple to understand what this is trying to convey. Pain. Agony. This person that we have been following has experienced. something that no one ever should. Extreme, agonizing pain. The voices are still there the whole time, almost mocking the person for experiencing this.

The loud instruments suddenly stop though, with nothing but the riff, industrial sounding pounds, and small whirrs of electricity. Almost as if the person is in shock, now regaining their senses, and realizing what has happened to them. Something, horrifying.

The song seems to go almost back to normal, with most of the same instruments. But something feels, off. The violin is wavering, a lot more quiet, but still keeps the same menacing notes playing in the background. The powerful, menacing drums are still there, the voices are very, very quiet though, you'll only be able to hear it if you have headphones on like, max volume. Something's wrong with this person. It's like they're the same, but not.

The voices then return. But they're not mocking the person, pushing them down, they're empowering them. They're confident. They're angry. This person, is no longer dealing with the bullshit that their peers give them. They now have power. And is willing, to use it. For something, that probably shouldn't be done.

And then comes my favorite part. A magnificent, gratifying orchestra combined with electric riffs, paired with an amazing choir backing it all. It's extremely chaotic, showing how this person has slowly decayed through this song, but is almost, grand in a sense. As if they're going through, a metamorphosis. They're changing, growing into something, someone new. The voices are still there, pushing the person through with this, becoming the driving force of them. This person is no longer the person you once knew. They're something, different. Something, more powerful than you could ever imagine.

The orchestra and choir grow and grow into a climax, and then.........nothing. Nothing but a high pitched shrill note, creating tension in the song. It's saying that you're fearful of what this person, or more so thing has become, but is also, curious. The more you listen, the more chaotic it gets, the electric riffs coming back full force, now sounding much more powerful than before. The voices, are now the main focus of the song, blasting in your ears for a disturbingly chaotic rise and climax. Then the beat drops. (is that the right word?)

This person is no longer who they are. The old person is gone. The new one is in. And they want revenge. What comes is an amazingly awesome dubstep part, with the guitar and electric riffs giving a feeling of a crazed animal chasing and thrashing around, it's only goal to rip and tear you to shreds. And you need to run.

And uhhh that's it lol. I know I didn't cover the entire song, I just wanted to focus on the parts that I like the most. But there is one more thing that I want to talk about. The lyrics (yep, i'm finally talking about them). it's initally really hard to listen to what the lyrics say, but someone from the youtube comments took the time and found the lyrics that the voices are saying. The lyrics are:

Pulse is racing. Mind is aching. Voice is shaking. Agony. Paranoia. Self destroyer. Can't ignore the mental torture. Pulse is racing. Mind is aching. Voice is shaking. Agony. Paranoia. Self destroyer. Can't ignore the mental torture. Pulse is racing. Mind is aching. Voice is shaking. Agony. Paranoia. Self destroyer. Can't ignore the mental torture. Something's racing. Mind is aching. Voice is shaking. Time is ticking. Mind is tripping. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. Here comes paranoia. Mind is aching. Body's wasting. Thoughts are shaking. Mind is breaking. I can feel that time is ticking. Paranoia.

Denying the rising. The crying. I'm dying. Something tells me. Mind is tripping. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. (Mental torture. Self destroyer.) Here comes paranoia. (Can't ignore the paranoia. Mind is racing.) Falsify. (Agony inside of me.) Fragile they sang. (My pulse is racing. Mental torture.) I feel alive. (Self destroyer. Can't ignore the paranoia.) Electrified.

Can't ignore the paranoia. Pulse is shifting. Mind is tripping. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. Mental torture. Can't ignore the paranoia. Pulse is shifting. Mind is tripping. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. Mental torture.

Can't ignore the paranoia. Pulse is shifting. Mind is tripping. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. Mental torture. Self destroyer.

Can't ignore the paranoia. Thoughts are shifting. Mind is tripping. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. Mental torture. Self destroyer.

Can't ignore the paranoia. Thoughts are shifting. Mind is tripping. Agony inside of me.

My pulse is racing! Mind is aching! Voice is shaking! Mind is breaking! Paranoia! Self destroyer! Can't ignore the mental torture! Pulse is racing! Mind is aching! Voice is shaking! Self destroyer! Paranoia! Self destroyer! Can't ignore the mental torture!

Mind is halving. Mind is halving. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. Here comes paranoia. Mind is halving. Mind is halving. Agony inside of me. My pulse is racing. Here comes paranoia. Denying the rising. The crying. I'm dying!

(operatic)

So yeah, it looks like a lot (it is lol), but the reason as to why is simple: it's repeating. The repeating of the same lyrics over and over creating a feeling of insanity, hysteria. Agony, paranoia really stick out to me, because even if they're just simple words. But they say a lot. The pain that this person was going through, only sends them further and further into insanity. They can't ignore the mental torture. They can’t handle it anymore. No more.

Im ending this here cause it’s late and i have to wake up early tomorrow sooo yeah, feel free to add any thoughts :)

#wacky posting #the electro suite #hans zimmer #hans zimmer the electro suite #I love this song #one of my favs #also if you’ve gotten inspired to make an au or something #please tag me #waaaa im so tired

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sithfoot · 1 year

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So there’s some asshole that plays bass in my building. Electric bass and I know this but we’ll circle back around. I just want to be an unbridled bitch for like a second.

I’ve lived here for about 3.5 years and so have they (at least) and over the course of being neighbours, I’ve heard them learn from newbie to now. Context, I am also a lifelong musician and BOY were they bad at the start.

For the first, maybe month of learning, they practiced with their amp really loud. I meant it when I said they were bad as we all are when were learning a new instrument. So it shook the building until our last super told them to turn it the fuck down even if it’s the daytime. It was okay for the last TWO YEARS. WHAT CHANGED?!

I’ve noticed their progress and how they’ve gotten better over time and like, cool dude great for you. Now that they’re good though, they suddenly decided to crank that shit again and broadcast it to every unit. Today I think I have heard the same two songs on repeat at volume and I want to throw a rock through their fucking window with “buy headphones” written on it.

I get practicing, I fucking do. I play four instruments and all of them can be electric or acoustic. That also means that I know that it’s an electric bass and that you can TURN IT DOWN! They have! That’s the fucked up part! It is 9pm on a Saturday I do not want you to keep shaking my TV with the bass line from Miley Cyrus’ Flowers and Ed Sheeran’s Perfect! It was so loud I could tell what songs and I live on the top floor.

I’m going to fight someone in the parking lot. I’m going to commit property damage. I am going to let my boyfriend rail me at three am as revenge because if you woke me up, I’M WAKING YOU! Do you want a Careless Whisper performance live on sax but 12 times in a row next time you try to practice? Because that is exactly how you get one!

Send me your petty revenge ideas, I haven’t committed to doing an actual crime yet but I did hook up my record player for next time. The receiver has no volume limit and the subwoofer’s wired bud. Fight me.

#andi no #personal #rant #by the amount of tragic music chosen #I think it’s a teenage girl #but we may never know #it’s been an hour and a half make it stop

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path-of-my-childhood · 4 years

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CABIN FEVER - Aaron Dessner: Producing folklore and evermore

Sound On Sound Magazine // March 2021 issue // By Tom Doyle

The pandemic gave Taylor Swift a chance to explore new musical paths, with two lockdown albums co-written and produced by the National's Aaron Dessner.

Few artists during the pandemic have been as prolific as Taylor Swift. In July 2020, she surprise-released folklore, a double-length album recorded entirely remotely and in isolation. It went on to become the biggest global seller of the year, with four million sales and counting. Then, in December, she repeated the trick with the 15-song evermore, which quickly became Swift's eighth consecutive US number one.

In contrast to her country-music roots and the shiny synth-pop that made her a superstar, both folklore and evermore showcased a very different Taylor Swift sound: one veering more towards atmospheric indie and folk. The former album was part-produced by Swift and her regular co-producer Jack Antonoff (St Vincent, Lana Del Rey), while the other half of the tracks were overseen by a new studio collaborator, Aaron Dessner of the National. For evermore, aside from one Antonoff-assisted song, Dessner took full control of production.

Good Timing

Although his band are hugely popular and even won a Grammy for their 2017 album Sleep Well Beast, Aaron Dessner admits that it initially felt strange for an indie-rock guitarist and keyboard player to be pulled into such a mainstream project. Swift had already declared herself a fan of the National, and first met the band back in 2014. Nonetheless, Dessner was still surprised when the singer sent him a text "out of the blue" last spring. "I mean, I didn't think it was a hoax," he laughs. "But it was very exciting and a moment where you think it's like serendipity or something, especially in the middle of the pandemic. When she asked if I would ever consider writing with her, I just happened to have a lot of music that I had worked really hard on. So, the timing was sort of lucky. It opened up this crazy period of collaboration. It was a pretty wild ride."

Since 2016, Aaron Dessner has been based at his self-built rural facility, Long Pond Studio, in the Hudson Valley, upstate New York. The only major change to the studio since SOS last spoke to Dessner in October 2017 has been the addition of a vintage WSW Siemens console built in 1965. "It had been refurbished by someone," he says, "and I think there's only three of them in the United States. I heard it was for sale from our friend [and the National producer/mixer] Peter Katis. That's a huge improvement here."

Although the National made Sleep Well Beast and its 2019 successor I Am Easy To Find at Long Pond, the band members are scattered around the US and Europe, meaning Dessner is no stranger to remote working and file sharing. This proved to be invaluable for his work with Swift. Dessner spent the first six weeks of lockdown writing music that he believed to be for Big Red Machine, his project with Bon Iver's Justin Vernon. Instead, many of these work-in-progress tracks would end up on folklore. Their first collaboration (and the album's first single), 'cardigan', for instance, emerged from an idea Dessner had been working on backstage during the National's European arena tour of Winter 2019.

"I sent her a folder and in the middle of the night she sent me that song," Dessner explains. "So, the next morning I was just listening to it, like, `Woah, OK, this is crazy."

On The Move

As work progressed, it quickly became apparent that Swift and Dessner were very much in tune as a songwriting and producing unit. There was very little Dessner had to do, he says, in terms of chopping vocals around to shape the top lines. "I think it's because I'm so used to structuring things like a song, with verses and choruses and bridges," he reckons. "In most cases, she sort of kept the form. If she had a different idea, she would tell me when she was writing and I would chop it up for her and send it to her. But, mostly, things kind of stayed in the form that we had."

Dessner and Swift were working intensively and at high speed throughout 2020, so much so that on one occasion the producer sent the singer a track and went out for a run in the countryside around Long Pond. By the time he got back, Swift had already written 'the last great american dynasty' and it was waiting for him in his inbox. "That was a crazy moment," he laughs. "One of the astonishing things about Taylor is what a brilliant songwriter she is and the clarity of her ideas and, when she has a story to tell, the way she can tell it. I think she's just been doing it for so long, she has a facility that makes you feel like you could never do what she's capable of. But we were a good pair because I think the music was inspiring to her in such a way that the stories were coming."

Swift's contributions to folklore were recorded in a makeshift studio in her Los Angeles home. Laura Sisk engineered the sessions as the singer recorded her vocals, using a Neumann U47, in a neighbouring bedroom. Live contact between Swift, Sisk, Dessner and Long Pond engineer Jonathan Low was done through real-time online collaboration platform Audiomovers.

"We would listen in remotely and kind of go back and forth," says Dessner. "We used Audiomovers and then we would have Zoom as a backup. But mainly we were just using Audiomovers, so we could actually be in her headphones. It's powerful, it's great. I've used it a lot with people during this time. Then, later on, when we recorded evermore, a lot of the vocals were done here at the studio actually when Taylor was visiting when we did the [Disney+ documentary] Long Pond Sessions. But Taylor's vocals for folklore were all done remotely."

Keeping Secrets

Given the huge international interest in Swift, the team had to work with an elaborate file-sharing arrangement to ensure that the tracks didn't leak online. Understandably, Dessner won't be drawn on the specifics. "Yeah, I mean we had to be very careful, so everything was very secretive," he says. "There were passwords on both ends and we communicated in a specific way when sharing mixes and everything. There was a high level of confidentiality and data encryption. It was sort of a learning curve.

"I'm not used to that," he adds, "'cause usually we're just letting files kind of fly all over the Internet [laughs]. But I think with someone like her, there's just so many people that are paying attention to every move that she makes, which can be a little, I think, oppressive for her. We tried to make it as comfortable as possible and we got used to how to get things to her and back to us. It worked pretty well."

Drums & Guitars

For the generally minimalist beat programming on the records, Dessner would sometimes turn to his more expensive new analogue drum generators - Vermona's DRM1 and Dave Smith's Tempest - but more often used the Synthetic Bits iOS app FunkBox. "There's just a lot of great vintage drum machine sounds in there, and they sound pretty cool, especially if you overdrive it," he says. "Often I send that through an amplifier, or through effects into an amplifier. Then I have a [Roland) TR-8 and a TR-8S that I use a lot. I also use the drum machine in the [Teenage Engineering] OP-1. So, a song like 'willow', that's just me tapping the OP-1."

Elsewhere, Dessner's guitar work appears on the tracks, with the intricate melodic layering on 'the last great american dynasty' from folklore having been inspired by Radiohead's In Rainbows. "Almost all of the electric guitar on Taylor's records is played direct through a REDDI DI into the Siemens board," he says. "It's usually just my 1971 Telecaster played direct and it just sounds great. Oftentimes I just put a little spring reverb on it and sometimes I'll overdrive the board like it's an amplifier, 'cause it breaks up really beautifully.

"I have a 1965 [Gibson] Firebird that I play usually through this 1965 Fender Deluxe Reverb. So, if I am playing into an amp, that's what it is. But on 'the last great american dynasty', those little pointillistic guitars, that's just played direct with the Telecaster through the board."

Elsewhere, Aaron Dessner took Taylor Swift even further out of her sonic comfort zone. A key track on folklore, the Cocteau Twins-styled 'epiphany', features her voice amid a wash of ambient textures, created by Dessner slowing down and reversing various instrumental parts in Pro Tools. "I created a drone using the Mellotron [MD4000D] and the Prophet and the OP-1 and all kinds of synth pads," he says. "Then I duplicated all the tracks, and some of them I reversed and some of them I dropped an octave. All manner of using varispeed and Polyphonic Elastic Audio and changing where they were sitting. Just to create like this Icelandic glacier of sounds was my idea. Then I wrote the chord progression against that.

"The [Pro Tools] session was not happy," he adds with a chuckle. "It kept crashing. Eventually I had to print the drone but I printed it by myself and there was some crackle in it. It was distorting. And then I couldn't recreate it so Jon Low, who was helping me, was kind of mad at me 'cause he was like, 'You can't do that.' And I was like, 'Well, I was working quickly. I didn't know it'd become a song."

Orchestra Of Nowhere

Meanwhile, the orchestrations that appear on several of the tracks were scored by Aaron's twin brother and National bandmate, Bryce Dessner, who is located in France. "I would just make him chord charts of the songs and send them to him in France," Aaron says. "Then he would orchestrate things in Sibelius and send the parts to me. I would send the parts and the instrumental tracks to different players remotely and they would record them literally in their bedrooms or in their attics. None of it was done as a group, it was all done separately. But that's how we've always worked in the National so it's quite natural."

On folklore standout track 'exile', Justin Vernon of Bon Iver delivered his stirring vocal for the duet remotely from his home in Eaux Claires, Wisconsin. "He's renovating his studio, so he has a little home studio in his garage," says Dessner. "It was Taylor's idea to approach him. I sent him Taylor's voice memo of her singing both parts, and he got really excited and loved the song and then he wrote the extra part in the bridge.

"I do a lot of work remotely with Justin also, so it was easy to send him tracks and he would track to it and send back his vocals. I was sending him stems, so usually it's just a vocal stem of Taylor and an instrumental stem and then if he wants something deeper, I'll give him more stems. But generally, he's just working with the vocal layers and an instrumental."

Vernon also provided the grainy beat that kicks off 'closure', one of two tracks on evermore that started life as a sketch for the second Big Red Machine album. "It was this little loop that Justin had given me in this folder of 'Starters', he calls them. I had heard that and been playing the piano to it. But I was hearing it in 5/4, although it's not in 5/4. 'Closure' really opened everything up further. There were no real limits to where we were gonna try to write songs."

Given the number of remote players, Dessner says there were surprisingly few problems with the file swapping and that it was a fairly painless technical process. "It was pretty smooth, but there were issues," he admits. "Sometimes sample-rate issues, or if I happened to give someone an instrumental that was an MP3, that sometimes lines up differently than if you send them an actual WAV that's bounced on the grid. So, sometimes I'd have to kinda eyeball things.

"If there was trouble it started to be because of track counts. I probably only used 20 percent of what was actually recorded, 'cause we would try a lot of things, y'know. So, eventually the sessions got kinda crazy and you'd have to deactivate a lot of things and print things. But we got used to that."

Soft Piano

Aaron Dessner's characteristic dampened upright piano sound, familiar from the National's albums, is much in evidence throughout both folklore and evermore. "The upright is a Yamaha U1 that I've had for more than a decade. Usually, I play it with the soft pedal down and that's the sound of 'hoax' or 'seven' or 'cardigan', y'know, that felted sound. It kind of almost sounds like an electric piano.

"I always mic it the same way, just with two [AKG] 414s, and they're always the same distance off the wall. I had a studio in Brooklyn for 10 years and then when I moved here, I copied the same [wooden] pattern on the wall. And the reason I did that is 'cause of how much I love how this piano sounds bouncing off that wall. It just does something really special for the harmonics."

When on other folklore songs, such as 'exile' or 'the 1', where the piano was the main sonic feature of the track, Dessner played his Steinway grand. "A lot of times we use a pair of Coles [4038s] on the Steinway, just cause it's darker. But sometimes we'll have the 414s there as well and choose."

Keeping Warm

On both folklore and evermore, Taylor Swift's voice is very much front and center and high in the mix, and generally sounds fairly dry. "I think the main thing was I wanted her vocals to have a more full range than maybe you typically hear," Dessner explains. "'Cause I think a lot of the more pop-oriented records are mixed a certain way and they take some of the warmth out of the vocal, so that it's very bright and it kinda cuts really well on the radio. But she has this wonderful lower warmth frequency in her voice which is particularly important on a song like `seven'. If you carved out that mud, y'know, it wouldn't hit you the same way. Or, like, `cardigan', I think it needs that warmth, the kind of fuller feeling to it. It makes it darker, but to me that's where a lot of emotion is."

Effects-wise, almost all of the treatments were done in the box. "There's no outboard reverbs printed," says Dessner. "The only things that we did print would be like an [Eventide] H3000 or sometimes the [WEM] CopiCat tape delay for just a really subtle slap. But generally, it's just different reverbs in the box that Jon was using. He uses the Valhalla stuff quite a bit and some other UAD reverbs, like the [Capitol] Chambers. I often just use Valhalla VintageVerb and the [Avid] Black Spring and simple things."

In some instances, the final mix ended up being the never-bettered rough mix, while other songs took far more work. "'cardigan' is basically the rough, as is `seven'. So, like the early, early mixes, when we didn't even know we were mixing, we never were able to make it better. Like if you make it sound 'good', it might not be as good 'cause it loses some of its weird magic, y'know. But songs like `the last great american dynasty' or 'mad woman', those songs were a little harder to create the dynamics the way you want them, and the pay-off without going too far, and with also just keeping in the kind of aesthetic that we were in. Those were harder, I would say.

"On evermore, I would say 'willow' was probably the hardest one to finish just because there were so many ways it could've gone. Eventually we settled back almost to the point where it began. So, there's a lot of stuff that was left out of 'willow', just because the simplicity of the idea I think was in a way the strongest."

The subject of this month's Inside Track article, 'willow' was the first song written for evermore, immediately following the release of folklore. "It almost felt like a dare or something," Dessner laughs. "We were writing, recording and mixing all in one kind of work stream and we went from one record to the other almost immediately. We were just sort off to the races. We didn't really ever stop since April."

Rubber & Vinyl

Sometimes, Dessner and Swift drew inspiration from unlikely sources; `no body, no crime', for instance, started when he gave her a 'rubber bridge' guitar made by Reuben Cox of the Old Style Guitar Shop in LA. "He's my very old friend," says Dessner of Cox. "He buys undervalued vintage guitars. Stuff that was made in the '50s and '60s as sort of learner guitars, like old Silvertones and Kays and Harmonys. These kinds of guitars which now are quite special, but they're still not valued the same way that vintage Fenders or Gibsons are valued. Then, he customizes them.

"Recently he started retrofitting these guitars with a rubber bridge and flatwound strings. He'll take, like, an acoustic Silvertone from 1958 and put a bridge on it that's covered in this kind of rubber that deadens the strings, so it really has this kind of dead thrum to it. And he puts two pickups in there, one that's more distorted and one that's cleaner. They're just incredible guitars. I thought Taylor would enjoy having one 'cause she loves the sound. So, I had Reuben make one for her and she used it to write `no body, no crime'."

Another friend of Dessner's, Ryan Olsen, has developed a piece of software called the Allovers Hi-Hat Generator which helped create the unusual harmonic loops that feature on `marjorie'. "It's not available on the market," Dessner says of the software. "It's just something that he uses personally, but I think hopefully eventually it'll come out. I wouldn't say it's artificial intelligence software but there's something very intelligent about it [laughs]. It basically analyses audio information and is able to separate audio into identifiable samples and then put them into a database. You then can design parameters for it to spit out sequences that are incredibly musical.

"When Ryan comes here, he'll just take all kinds of things that I give him and run it through there and then it'll spit out, like, three hours of stuff. Then I go through it and find the layers that I love, then I loop them. You can hear it also on the song 'happiness', the drumming in the background. It's not actually played. That's drums that have been sampled and then re-analyzed and re-sequenced out of this Allovers Hi-Hat Generator."

The song `marjorie' is named after Swift's opera-singer grandmother and so, fittingly, her voice can be heard flitting in and out of the mix at the end of the track. "Taylor's family gave us a bunch of recordings of her grandmother," Dessner explains. "But they were from old, very scratchy, noisy vinyl. So, we had to denoise it all using [iZotope's] RX and then I went in and I found some parts that I thought might work. I pitch-shifted them into the key and then placed them. It took a while to find the right ones, but it's really beautiful to be able to hear her. It's just an incredibly special thing, I think."

Meet At The Pond

Taylor Swift finally managed to get together with Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff in September 2020 for the filming of folklore: the long pond studio sessions, featuring the trio live-performing the album. It also provided an opportunity for Swift to add her vocals to some of the evermore tracks.

"It did allow us to have more fun, I think," says Dessner. "Y'know, drink more wine and just kinda be in the same place and have the feeling of blasting the music here and dancing around and just enjoying ourselves. She's really a lovely person to hang out with, so in that sense I'm glad that we had that chance to work together in person.

"We were using a [Telefunken] U47 to record Taylor here," he adds. "Either we were using one of the Siemens preamps on the board, which are amazing. Or I have Neve 1064s [preamps/EQs] and we use a Lisson Grove [AR-i] tube compressor generally."

One entirely new song, `tis the damn season', came out of this face-to-face approach, which Swift wrote in the middle of the night after the team had stayed up late drinking. "We had a bunch of wine actually," Dessner laughs, "and then everybody went to sleep, I thought. But I think she must have had this idea swimming around in her head, 'cause the next morning when she arrived, she sang 'Us the damn season' for me in my kitchen. It's maybe my favourite song we've written together. Then she sang it at dinner for me and my wife Stine and we were all crying. It’s just that kind of a song, so it was quite special.”

National Unity

One key track on evermore, 'coney island', features all of the members of the National and sees Swift duetting with their singer Matt Berninger. "My brother [Bryce] actually originated that song," says Aaron Dessner. "I sent him a reference at one point - I can't remember what it was - and then he was sort of inspired to write that chord progression. Then we worked together to sort of develop it and I wrote a bunch of parts and we structured it.

"Taylor and William Bowery [the songwriting pseudonym of Swift's boyfriend, actor Joe Alwyn] wrote 'coney island' and she sang a beautiful version. It felt kind of done, actually. But then I think we all collectively thought, Taylor and myself and Bryce, like this was the closest to a National song."

Dessner then asked the brothers who make up the National's rhythm section, drummer Bryan and bassist Scott Devendorf, to play on 'coney island'. Matt Berninger, as he often does with the band's own tracks, recorded his vocal at home in Los Angeles. "It was never in the same place, it was done remotely," says Dessner, "except Bryan was here at Long Pond when he played. It was great to collaborate as a band with Taylor."

No Compromise

folklore and evermore have been both enormous critical and commercial successes for Taylor Swift. Aaron Dessner reckons that making these anti-pop records has freed the singer up for the future. "I think it was very liberating for her," he says. "I think that's the thing that's been probably the biggest change for her has just been being able to make songs without compromise and then release them without the promotional requirements that she's used to from the past. Obviously, it comes at this time when we're all in lockdown and nobody can tour or go on talk shows or anything. But I think for her probably it will impact what she does in the future.

"But I also think she can shapeshift again," he concludes. "Who knows where she'll go? She's had many celebrated albums from the past, but to release two albums of this quality in such a short time, it really did shine a light on her songwriting talent and her storytelling ability and also just her willingness to experiment and collaborate. Somehow, I ended up in the middle of all that and I'm very grateful."

INSIDE TRACK - Jonathan Low: Secrets of the Mix Engineers

Sound On Sound Magazine // March 2021 issue // By Paul Tingen

From sketches to final mixes, engineer Jonathan Low spent 2020 overseeing Taylor Swift’s hit lockdown albums folklore and evermore.

“I think the theme of a lot of my work nowadays, and especially with these two records, is that everything is getting mixed all the time. I always try to get the songs to sound as finalised as they can be. Obviously that’s hard when you’re not sure yet what all the elements will be. Tracks morph all the time, and yet everything is always moving forwards towards completion in some way. Everything should sound fun and inspiring to listen to all the time.”

Speaking is Jonathan Low, and the two records he refers to are, of course, Taylor Swift’s 2020 albums folklore and evermore, both of which reached number one in the UK and the US. Swift’s main producer and co‑writer on the two albums was the National’s Aaron Dessner, also interviewed in this issue. Low is the engineer, mixer and general right‑hand man at Long Pond Studios in upstate New York, where he and Dessner spent most of 2020 working on folklore and evermore, with Swift in Los Angeles for much of the time.

“In the beginning it did not feel real,” recalls Low. “There was this brand‑new collaboration, and it was amazing how quickly Aaron made these instrumental sketches and Taylor wrote lyrics and melodies to them, which she initially sent to us as iPhone voice memos. During our nightly family dinners in lockdown, Aaron would regularly pull up his phone and say, ‘Listen to this!’ and there would be another voice memo from Taylor with this beautiful song that she had written over a sketch of Aaron’s in a matter of hours. The rate at which it was happening was mind‑blowing. There was constant elevation, inspiration and just wanting to continue the momentum.

“We put her voice memos straight into Pro Tools. They had tons of character, because of the weird phone compression and cutting midrange quality you just would not get when you put someone in front of a pristine recording chain. Plus there was all this bleed. It’s interesting how that dictates the attitude of the vocal and of the song. Even though none of the original voice memos ended up on the albums, they often gave us unexpected hints. These voice memos were such on‑a‑whim things, they were really telling. Taylor had certain phrasings and inflections that we often returned to later on. They became our reference points.”

Pond Life

The making of the National’s 2017 album Sleep Well Beast and the setup at Long Pond were covered in SOS October 2017; today the studio remains pretty much the same, with the exception of a new desk. “The main space is really big, and the console sits in the middle,” says Low. “In 2019, I installed a 1965 WSW/Siemens, which has 24 line‑in and microphone channels and another 24 line channels. WSW is the Austrian branch of Siemens usually built for broadcast. It’s loaded with 811510B channels. The build quality is insane, the switches and pots feel like they were made yesterday. To me it hints at the warm haze of a Class‑A Neve channel but sits further forward in the speakers. The midrange band on the passive EQ is a huge part of its charm, it really does feel like you’re changing the tone of the actual source rather than the recording. Most microphones go through the desk on their way into Pro Tools, though we sometimes use outboard Neve 1064 mic pres. Occasionally I use the Siemens to sum a mix.

“We have a pair of ATC SCM45 monitors, which sound very clear in the large room. The ceiling is very high, and the front wall is about 25 feet behind the monitors. There are diffusers on the sidewalls and the back walls are absorbing, so there are very few reflections. Aaron and I will be listening in tons of different ways. I’ll listen in my home studio with similar ATC SCM20 monitors or on my ‘70s Marantz hi‑fi setup. Aaron is always checking things in his car, and if there’s something that is bugging him, I’ll join him in his car to find out what he hears.”

Low works at Long Pond and with Dessner most of the time, though he does find time to do other projects, among hem this last year the War On Drugs, Waxahatchee and Nap Eyes. When lockdown started in Spring 2020, Low tacked up on supplies and "had a bunch f mixes lined up". Meanwhile, on the Eest Coast, Swift had seen her Lover Fest our cancelled. With help from engineer aura Sisk, she set up a makeshift studio which she dubbed Kitty Committee in bedroom in her Los Angeles home, and began working with long-term producer nd co-writer Jack Antonoff. At the end of April, however, Swift also started working with Dessner, which took the project in different direction. The impressionistic, atmospheric, electro-folk instrumentals Dessner sent her were mostly composed nd recorded by him at Long Pond, assisted by Low.

Sketching Sessions

The instrumental sketches Aaron makes come into being in different ways," elaborates Low. "Sometimes they are more fleshed-out ideas, sometimes they are less formed. But normally Aaron will set himself up in the studio, surrounded by instruments and synths, and he'll construct a track. Once he feels it makes some kind of sense I'll come in and take a listen and then we together develop what's there.

"I don't call his sketches demos, because while many instruments are added and replaced later on, most of the original parts end up in the final version of the song. We end up in the final version of the song. We try to get the sketches to a place where they are already very engaging as instrumental are already very engaging as instrumental tracks. Aaron and I are always obsessively listening, because we constantly want to hear things that feel inspiring and musical, not just a bed of music in the background. It takes longer to create, but in this case also gave Taylor more to latch onto, both emotionally and in terms of musical inspiration. Hearing melodies woven in the music triggered new melodies."

Not long after Dessner and Low sent each sketch to Swift, they would receive her voice memos in return, and they'd load them into the Pro Tools session of the sketch in question. Dessner and Low then continued to develop the songs, in close collaboration with Swift. "Taylor's voice memos often came with suggestions for how to edit the sketches: maybe throw in a bridge somewhere, shorten a section, change the chords or arrangement somewhere, and so on. Aaron would have similar ideas, and he then developed the arrangements, often with his brother Bryce, adding or replacing instruments. This happened fast, and became very interactive between us and Taylor, even though we were working remotely. When we added instruments, we were reacting to the way my rough mixes felt at the very beginning. Of course, it was also dictated by how Taylor wrote and sang to the tracks."

Dessner supplied sketches for nine and produced 10 of folklore's 16 songs, playing many different types of guitars, keyboards and synths as well as percussion and programmed drums. Instruments that were added later include live strings, drums, trombone, accordion, clarinet, harpsichord and more, with his brother Bryce doing many of the orchestrations. Most overdubs by other musicians were done remotely as well. Throughout, Low was keeping an overview of everything that was going on and mixing the material, so it was as presentable and inspiring as possible.

Mixing folklore

Although Dessner has called folklore an "anti-pop album", the world's number-one pop mixer Serban Ghenea was drafted in to mix seven tracks, while Low did the remainder.

"It was exciting to have Serban involved," explains Low, "because he did things I'd never do or be able to do. The way the vocal sits always at the forefront, along with the clarity he gets in his mixes, is remarkable. A great example of this is on the song 'epiphany'. There is so much beautiful space and the vocal feels effortlessly placed. It was really interesting to hear where he took things, because we were so close to the entire process in every way. Hearing a totally new perspective was eye-opening and refreshing.

"Throughout the entire process we were trying to maintain the original feel. Sometimes this was hard, because that initial rawness would get lost in large arrangements and additional layering. With revisions of folklore in particular we sometimes were losing the emotional weight from earlier more casual mixes. Because I was always mixing, there was also always the danger of over-mixing.

"We were trying to get the best of each mix version, and sometimes that meant stepping backwards, and grabbing a piano chain from an earlier mix, or going three versions back to before we added orchestration. There were definitely moments of thinking, 'Is this going to compete sonically? Is this loud enough?' We knew we loved the way the songs sounded as we were building them, so we stuck with what we knew. There were times where I tried to keep pushing a mix forward but it didn't improve the song — 'cardigan' is an example of a song where we ended up choosing a very early mix."

The Low Down

"I'm originally from Philadelphia," says Jonathan Low, "and played piano, alto saxophone and guitar when growing up. My dad is an electrical engineer and audiophile hobbyist, and I learned a lot about circuit design and how to repair things. I then started building guitar pedals and guitar amps, and recorded bands at my high school using a minidisc player and some binaural microphones. After that I did a music industry programme at Drexel University, and spent a lot of time working at the recording facilities there.

"This led to me meeting Brian McTear, a producer and owner of Miner Street Studios, which became my home base from 2009 to 2014. I learned a lot from him, from developing an interest in creating sounds in untraditional ways, to how to see a record through to completion. The studio has a two-inch 16-track Ampex MM1200 tape machine and a beautiful MCI 400 console which very quickly shaped the way I think about routing and signal flow. I'm lucky to have learned this way, because a computer environment is like the Wild West: there are no rules in terms of how to get from point A to point B. This flexibility is incredible, but sometimes there are simply too many options.

"l met Aaron [Dessned] because singer-songwriter Sharon van Etten recorded her second album, Epic [2010] at Miner Street, with Brian producing. Her third album, Tramp [2012] was produced by Aaron. They came to Philly to record drums and I ended up mixing a bunch of that record. After that I would occasionally go to work in Aaron's garage studio in Brooklyn, and this became more and more a regular collaboration. I then moved from Philly up to the Hudson Valley to help Aaron build Long Pond. We first used the studio in the spring of 2016, when beginning to record the National's album Sleep Well Beast."

Onward & Upward

folklore was finished and released in July 2020. In a normal world everyone might have gone on to do other things, but without the option of touring, they simply continued writing songs, with Low holding the fort. In September, many of the musicians who played on the album gathered at Long Pond for the shooting of a making-of documentary, folklore: the long pond studio sessions, which is streamed on Disney+.

The temporary presence of Swift at Long Pond changed the working methods somewhat, as she could work with Dessner in the room, and Low was able record her vocals. After Swift left again, sessions continued until December, when evermore was released, with Dessner producing or co-producing all tracks, apart from 'gold rush' which was co-written and co-produced by Swift and Antonoff. Low recorded many of Swift's vocals for evermore, and mixed the entire album. The lead single 'willow' became the biggest hit from the album, reaching number one in the US and number three in the UK.

"Before Taylor came to Long Pond," remembers Low, "she had always recorded her vocals for folklore remotely in Los Angeles or Nashville. When I recorded, I used a modern Telefunken U47, which is our go-to vocal mic — we record all the National stuff with that — going straight into the Siemens desk, and then into a Lisson Grove AR-1 tube compressor, and via a Burl A-D converter into Pro Tools. Taylor creates and lays down her vocal arrangements very quickly, and it sounds like a finished record in very few takes."

Devils In The Detail

In his mixes, Low wanted listeners to share his own initial response to these vocal performances. "The element that draws me in is always Taylor's vocals. The first time I received files with her properly recorded but premixed vocals I was just floored. They sounded great, even with minimal EQ and compression. They were not the way I'm used to hearing her voice in her pop songs, with the vocal soaring and sitting at the very front edge of the soundscape. In these raw performances, I heard so much more intimacy and interaction with the music. It was wonderful to hear her voice with tons of detail and nuances in place: her phrasing, her tonality, her pitch, all very deliberate. We wanted to maintain that. It's more emotional, and it sounds so much more personal to me. Then there was the music..."

The arrangements on evermore are even more 'chamber pop' than on folklore, with instruments like glockenspiel, crotales, flute, French horn, celeste and harmonium in evidence. "As listeners of the National may know, Aaron's and Bryce's arrangements can be quite dense. They love lush orchestration, all sorts of percussion, synths and other electronic sounds. The challenge was trying to get them to speak, without getting in the way of the vocals. I want a casual listener to be drawn in by the vocal, but sense that something special is happening in the music as well. At the same time, someone who really is digging in can fully immerse themselves and take in all the beauty deeper in the details of the sound and arrangement. Finding the balance between presenting all the musical elements that were happening in the arrangement and this really beautiful, upfront, real-sounding vocal was the ticket."

A particular challenge is that a lot of the detail that Aaron gravitates towards happens in the low mids, which is a very warm part of our hearing spectrum that can quickly become too muddy or too woolly. A lot of the tonal and musical information lives in the low mids, and then the vocal sits more in the midrange and high mids. There's not too much in the higher frequency range, except the top of the guitars, and some elements like a shaker and the higher buzzy parts of the synths. Maintaining clarity and separation in those often complex arrangements was a major challenge."

In & Out The Box

According to Low, the final mix stage for evermore was "very short. There was a moment in the final week or so leading up to the release where the songs were developed far enough for me to sit down and try to make something very cohesive and final, finalising vocal volume, overall volume, and the vibe. There's a point in every mix where the moves get really small. When a volume ride of 0.1dB makes a difference, you're really close to being done. Earlier on, those little adjustments don't really matter.

"I often try to mix at the console, with some outboard on the two-bus, but folklore was mixed all in the box, because we were working so fast, plus initially the plan was for the mixes to be done elsewhere. I ran a couple of mixes for evermore through the console, and `closure' was the only one that stuck. It was summed through the Siemens, with an API 2500 compressor and a Thermionic Culture Phoenix and then back into Pro Tools via the Burl A-D. I will use hardware when mixing in the box, though mainly just two units: the Eventide H3000, because I have not found any plug-ins that do the same thing, and the [Thermionic] Culture Vulture, for its very broad tone shaping and distortion properties.

"The writing and the production happened closely in conjunction with the engineering and mixing, and the arrangements were dense, making many of the sessions super hefty and actually quite messy. Sounds would constantly change roles in the arrangement and sometimes plug-ins would just stack up. So final mixing involved cleaning up the sessions and stemming large groups down."

Across The Rubber Bridge

The Pro Tools mix session of 'willow' has close to 100 tracks, though there's none of the elaborate bussing that's the hallmark of some modern sessions. At the top are six drum machine tracks in green from the Teenage Engineering OP-1, an instrument that was used extensively on the album. Below that are five live percussion tracks (blue), three bass tracks (pink), and an `AUX Drums' programming track. There's a 'rubber bridge' guitar folder and aux, OP-1 synth tracks, piano tracks, 'Dream Machine' (Josh Kaufman's guitar) and E-bow tracks, Yamaha, Sequential Prophet X, Moog and Roland Juno synth tracks, and Strings and Horns aux stem tracks.

"Most of the drum tracks were performed on the OP-1 by Aaron. These are not programmed tracks. Bryan Devendorf, drummer of the National, programmed some beats on a Roland TR-8S. I ran those though the Fender Rumble bass amp, which adds some woofiness, like an acoustic kit room mic. There's an acoustic shaker, and there's an OP-1 backbeat that's subtle in the beginning, and then gets stronger towards the end of the song. I grouped all the drum elements and the bass, and sent those out to a hardware insert with the Culture Vulture, for saturation, so it got louder and more and more harmonically rich. There is this subtle growing and crescendo of intensity of the rhythm section by the end.

"The 'rubber bridge' guitars were the main anchor in the instruments. These guitars have a wooden bridge wrapped in rubber, and sound a bit like a nylon-string guitar, or a light palm mute. They're very percussive and sound best when recorded on our Neumann U47 and a DI. On many of those DI tracks I have a [SPL] Transient Designer to lower the sustain and keep them punchy, especially in the low end. There's a folder with five takes of 'rubber bridge' guitar in this session, creating this wall of unique guitar sound.

"I treated the 'rubber bridge' guitars quite extensively. There's a FabFilter Pro-Q3 cutting some midrange frequencies and some air around 10kHz. These guitars can splash out in the high end and have a boominess that's in the same range as the low end of Taylor's vocal, so I had to keep these things under control. Then I used a SoundToys Tremolator, with a quarter-note tremolo that makes the accents in the playing a bit more apparent. I like to get the acoustic guitars a little bit out of the way for the less important beats, so I have the Massey CT5 compressor side-chained to the kick drum. I also used the UAD Precision K-Stereo to make the guitars a bit wider. The iZotope Ozone Exciter adds some high mids and high-end harmonic saturation sparkly stuff, and the SoundToys EchoBoy delay is automated, with it only coming on in the bridge, where I wanted more ambience."

Growing Pains

"Once we had figured out how to sit the 'rubber bridge' guitars in the mix, the next challenge was to work out the end of the song, after the bridge. Taylor actually goes down an octave with her voice in the last chorus, and at the same time the music continues to push and grow. That meant using a lot of automation and Clip Gain adjustment to make sure the vocal always stayed on top. There also are ambient pianos playing counter-melodies, and balancing the vocals, guitars and pianos was the main focus on this song. We spent a lot of time balancing this, particularly as the track grows towards the end.

"The vocal tracks share many of the same plug-ins and settings. On the main lead vocal track I added the UAD Pultec EQP-1A, with a little bit of a cut in the low end at 30Hz, and a boost at 8kHz, which adds some modern air. The second plug-in is the Oeksound Soothe, which is just touching the vocal, and it helps with any harsh resonance stuff in the high mids, and a little in the lower mids. Next is the UAD 1176AE, and then the FabFilter Pro-Q3, doing some notches at 200Hz, 1kHz, 4kHz and close to 10kHz. I tend to do subtractive EQ on the Q3, and use more analogue-sounding plug-ins, like the Pultec or the Maag, to boost. After that is the FabFilter Pro-DS [de-esser], taking off a couple of decibels, followed by the FabFilter Saturn 2 [saturation processor], on a warm tape setting.

"Below the vocal tracks are three aux effects tracks, for the vocals. 'Long Delay' has a stereo EchoBoy going into an Altiverb with a spring reverb, for effect throws in the choruses. 'Chamber' is the UAD Capitol Chamber, which gives the vocal a nice density and size, without it being a long reverb. The 'Plate' aux is the UAD EMT140, for the longer tail. These two reverbs work in conjunction, with the chamber for the upfront space, determining where the vocal sits in the mix, and the plate more for the depth behind that.

"At the bottom of the session is a two-bus aux, which mimics the way I do the two-bus on the desk. The plug-ins are the UAD Massive Passive EQ, UAD API 2500 compressor, and the UAD Ampex ATR102. Depending on the song, I will choose 15ips or 30ips. In this case it was set to 15ips, half-inch GP9. That has a nice, aggressive, midrange push, and the GP9 bottom end goes that little bit lower. There's also a PSP Vintage Warmer, a Sonnox Oxford Inflator, plus a FabFilter Pro-L2 [limiter]. None of these things are doing very much on their own, but in conjunction give me the interaction I expect from an analogue mix chain."

#Aaron Dessner #bryce dessner #Jonathan Low #the long pond studio sessions #making of #folklore album #evermore album #interview #about taylor #taylor swift #songwriting #producer #evermore era #folklore era #Sound on Sound Magazine #scans

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youarejesting · 3 years

Text

Mania.8

[MASTER LIST] [Mania Master list]

Rating: Mature 18+ Pairing: BTS OT7 Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Comedy, Omegaverse Words: 1.4k Blood types: Namjoon, Jhope, Jungkook, Yoongi (A) Taehyung (AB) Jin, Jimin and Yoongi (O) (Jimin in real life is an A blood type)

Summary: At eighteen everyone takes a blood test to find out their blood types. A, B, or O. Each blood type represents the person’s secondary gender Alpha, Beta or Omega and can be Dominant (+) or Recessive (-).

When small thin Yoongi receives his letter he doesn’t expect A+. There was no way he was an Alpha especially not a dominant. But as time passes he shows no Alpha nor Omega tendencies and frankly he doesn’t care. Working in his father’s electrical business helps pay the bills but Yoongi’s real passion is music.

One very hot day in the roof space of a luxury apartment that Yoongi is rewiring an intoxicatingly pleasant smell churns his insides and he finds himself in need of something to quench his thirst.

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Yoongi was unsure how he felt about the affection he received from the other omegas. He didn’t exactly have time to refuse their advances before he was soaking in a huge bathtub with the other two. It was nice to have company and someone to talk to. The two omegas were quick to offer him something to drink and helped wash his hair with gentle hands.

It had been almost twenty years since Yoongi had had a bubble bath and he had to admit it was a lot more fun than a normal bath. The bubbles were so soft and foamy they smelt like lavender and it was making his eyes heavy.

Kim Seokjin gave a soft chuckle pulling Yoongi’s back against his chest and letting him rest his head on his shoulder. Yoongi was ready to leave the bath, he was starting to feel old with the wrinkles appearing on his fingertips like a prune.

Stepping out first Jimin wrapped himself in a robe, Yoongi thought he would leave but was surprised when he grabbed another robe and held it out. Yoongi went to get up to let Jin exit but when he moved Jimin’s hands followed him with the soft robe.

Yoongi looked back at Seokjin and saw him pulling on another robe and smiling, “You don’t like the robe Hyung?”

“Sorry, I thought you were offering Jin Hyung the robe.” Yoongi lowered his head and obediently put his hands into the sleeves. “Thanks, Jiminie.”

Jimin under all the spoiled and bratty tendencies was such a sweet charming boy who cared a lot about others and Yoongi was happy to get to know this side of him. That he had given the younger boy a chance to open up to him and show his true colors. Or, maybe it was Jimin who took the time to let Yoongi relax and open up with him.

“Do you want to go for a nap, we are going to cuddle in the lounge and watch a movie, you can join us if you want?” Jimin asked, looking hopeful. Yoongi almost gave in not wanting to disappoint the young omega. Maybe this is what they meant by omega’s nurturing other omegas.

Yoongi patted the younger boy's wet hair and smiled softly, “I have some work to do, I was wondering if I could borrow someone’s laptop or computer or something?”

“Of course, Jungkook has one you can use,” Jimin took Yoongi’s hand. It was such a small hand, though he was younger, Jimin was much stronger than Yoongi. “Here it is, I will tell Kookie that you are in here, he is watching a movie too, so you can work undisturbed.”

“Thanks, Jiminie,” Yoongi patted his head again and Jimin beamed at the praise before searching for some clothes to steal from his mate.

Yoongi opened the website he had been using for his mixtape. Selecting his latest opened his newest creation, trying to reach for where he usually kept his headphones but coming up empty and the song started playing. Face red and heart hammering nervously he paused the music and Jimin’s head poked out of the walk-in wardrobe.

“What was that?” Jimin asked, curiously he was slipping on a pair of sweatpants with his athletic build on display. Yoongi took note of the ‘Nevermind’ tattoo on Jimin’s rib cage and wondered to himself what it meant. He and Jungkook were the only two in the group that he had seen tattoo’s on.

“Uh, it was a song that I wrote?” Yoongi muttered embarrassed, “Does Jungkookie have headphones at all?”

“Yeah, I can go ask him.” Jimin smiled, “Can I hear something you have written?”

“Sure,” Yoongi nervously played the song. The beat was kind of old school and Jimin heard some of Yoongi’s adlibs but they weren’t explored fully yet. Jimin was bouncing on the bed to the beat enjoying the sound and vibe. He liked the word play of ddaeng and the ‘one-eight, one-three, three-eight.

Yoongi watched Jimin intently wanting to see his reaction, a little embarrassed when Namjoon’s head popped into the room he was nodding to the beat listening, Hoseok and Taehyung appearing enjoying the sound greatly.

Yoongi had made a guide which was quiet in the background with what he thought the lyrics fit the song, but he had one completed verse. When he first wrote the lyrics he didn’t think it was first verse worthy but he really liked it. Not wanting to waste some dope bars. He kept it for the second verse. As the second verse began his voice came through the room and his cheeks went red.

“Ddaeng.” Yoongi’s voice was strong, accompanied by his deep hum “Mmm…”

Taehyung was hyped by the verse and began jumping around the room excitedly, Hoseok and Namjoon were both sitting there with thoughtful faces repeating chorus’ and enjoying the wordplay. Namjoon began freestyling a small bit at the end using his own play on words for the sound ddaeng, likening it to a cash register, a game of tag, and more.

“That’s really dope, did you write that yourself?” Jimin asked excitedly looking at the screen for any sign of another name or some sort of program that could have helped him.

“I wrote the lyrics or what little lyrics I have and I made the track using my software. I have a bunch of tracks I produced and have written for but these are the latest ones I have worked on.” Yoongi explained “I made a trap beat with some eastern instruments to basically diss the community for saying that rap music doesn’t fit with Korean culture.

“Can I get you to look at something?” Namjoon said and brought him down the hall to a makeshift studio, “Listen to this…”

Yoongi stood in his robe feeling out of place while Namjoon began typing away on the computer bringing up a program and a file, he pressed play and Yoongi paused it. “I need headphones. I need to hear the layering and everything in depth”

Namjoon nodded, handing him the headphones, and began listening, Hoseok’s voice came in rapping about being a psycho rapping a cypher. Yoongi enjoyed his flow, it was unique, quite colorful, and fun, Namjoon was very intellectual and full of wordplay. They both had their strong points but they were missing an element that most rappers had.

They didn’t have the raw anger that was needed, sure Hoseok and Namjoon were mad but it was lacking. The cypher was amazing, the third verse they wrote together was quite odd and didn’t really bring the anger that Yoongi wanted it to. Almost a letdown.

“The third verse is shot, cut it out.” They nodded “It needs something rougher something to wrap it up, get the final hype. Hoseok has some serious teasing at the start, Namjoon gets real smart but the end needs to be rough. Make the people mad with raw emotion and power behind the delivery that just wasn’t there.”

“He is right,” Hoseok said and Yoongi made a face as he listened to the last verse again taking the lyrics sheet and began making changes adding entirely different lines in places.

“It is good though you just need to deliver it better, get exasperated on the track, that shit sounds like you are fucking proving a point.” Yoongi stood up from the computer and played the track into the tiny soundproof booth. It was a little portable box insulated just like any other booth Yoongi had rented before to work on his mixtape.

Even though the booths were different sizes they worked the same and Yoongi stepped inside it had just begun Hoseok’s verse and he was reading over the lines getting ready to record when it got to the third verse he took the lines running putting as much gravel and emotion into the lyrics.

He rapped like he was trying to argue with someone about his worth as a rapper. He delivered the verse as if it was his own cypher he let things flow he got to the section that Namjoon had previously performed and the pace picked up, he didn’t let up the whole time and as he hit the last line he let out a loud laugh he was embarrassed to rap in front of anyone. “Hahaha….. YA!”

Tags: @staerryminimini

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sinslasherfics · 4 years

Note

Could you write how the killers would react to their s/o learning to play electric guitar? But theres a twist, they use headphones instead of playing it loud through the amp so only they can hear it. ( and yes you can play that way, you just have to plug your headphones into the amp) Literally no one has actually heard them play, not even their killer boyfriend. S/o is just to embarrassed that itll sound bad or that theyll make even the slightest mistake.

hello love!! sorry for getting to this so late, i only just saw it in my ask box. i haven’t been getting notifs from tumblr for some reason :/ also did my fav slasher boys atm since you didn’t request anyone in specific, hope that’s okay 🤍i hope you enjoy!

SLASHERS REACTION TO S/O WHO PLAYS ELECTRIC GUITAR, BUT IS INSECURE OF THEIR SKILL

POLY! GHOSTFACE (BILLY LOOMIS & STU MACHER)

at first, they didn’t even know you owned any kind of instrument

they just so happened to find the electric guitar in the corner of your room when you invited them over

they’re both in awe

“babe! you didn’t tell us you played!”

“can you play for us?!”

you kinda have to explain to them that you’re only just learning to play

they’ll still insist you play for them, they wanna hear your progress

you tell them no, but it’s only because you think you don’t play too well

they’ll understand, and stop bugging you about it

or at least that’s what you think

they ALWAYS try to catch you and hear you playing

they’ll pretend their leaving and then stick around, hiding behind a wall or something

they’re excited when they see you pick up the guitar, then quickly hide themselves again

but after a few minutes they hear no noise, no playing

it’s when the realize you have headphones plugged into the amp

stu’s for sure gonna pout about it, and give away their position where they were hiding.

then you have to explain to them that you’re scared of making a mistake, that you’d rather have your headphones plugged in because if you slipped in the slightest you’d be embarrassed

billy will insist that they don’t care how you play, and they would never make fun of you or anything

he really wants to hear you play </3

you make them a deal, though

“i’ll let you watch me play and maybe we can progress from that into hearing me play.”

both nod eagerly

be careful with stu, though

the dork will try several times to unplug the headphones from the amp while you’re caught up in playing

sometimes billy will stop him, sometimes he won’t

so always be alert!

if you do eventually let them hear you play, they’ll cheer you on big time

“NO ONE PLAYS THE ELECTRIC GUITAR LIKE MY S/O DOES!”

they think you’re so cool

teach them how to play!! they’ll be the happiest boys alive!!

MICHAEL MYERS

he’ll act like he doesn’t care at all

but in reality it does spike his interest

he’s curious, wants to know more

will never admit that

but you’ll catch him staring at the guitar on more than one occasions

he stares at you as whenever you pick up the guitar to do anything with it

it’s impressive to him, actually

but gets confused when you plug headphones into the amp

it was made for blasting the music made from your guitar, no?

will most definitely unplug it

don’t tell him not to, it won’t help

michael does what he wants

doesnt take orders from anyone but himself!

plugs the headphones back in

he’s not a complete asshole

at least not when it comes to you

you better be okay with him staring at you as you play, though

that’s exactly what he’s doing

eventually finds out you do it because you’re scared of messing up even slightly

probably doesn’t give a flying fuck

he wants to hear you play and if you mess up well so be it

it is intimidating, though.

i mean, he’s got a blank expression on the whole time he watches you

you can’t really tell if he likes it or not

he does

at first you might not think he does, he acts like he doesn’t care

you’ll know he does when he picks up the guitar and hands it to you out of the blue

will do this more often than you think

but hey, it’s good practice for you

JASON VOORHEES

he thinks your so cool!!!

will sit and watch you practice and play around with chords

he’s curious, might even want to learn himself

eventually settles on just watching you though

he’s a little busy with handling people who trespass to have any free time to learn

admires you while you practice

every time he sees you pick up the guitar he stops and watches

questions the headphones plugged into the amp

you explain to him how you plug them in so that only you can hear your playing, since you aren’t confident in your skills

he’s understand, and nods along

though he doesn’t know why you wouldn’t be confident

he thinks you’re good at everything

sweet sweet boy

wants to hear you play so!! bad!!

but will not force you to let him hear

will silently clap after you’re done playing even if he couldn’t hear it

I COULD CRY HES SO SWEET

will gradually try and gain enough trust from you so that you’d let him hear you play comfortably

he can’t talk, but he assures you in every way that he can that he’s 101% sure that you are the best at playing electric guitar

if you do let him hear you play eventually

he’ll be over the moon

loves to hear you play

it’s so exciting and good to him

honestly wouldn’t even notice if you mess up

he’s way too lost in the music you’re making at the moment

so don’t ever worry about him not enjoying it

he’ll always enjoy it

might even gain up the courage to try it himself

only if you teach him of course.

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE

bratty boy

if he’s interested, no one can talk him out of his curiosity and he’s gonna wanna hear you play

better to keep this guitar hidden from him if you don’t wanna play in front of him

but that’s almost impossible

he’ll find it eventually

if not on purpose, then accidentally

and he’ll question you about it

of course you kinda have to admit that you’re learning

and he will ask to hear it

his eyes are pleading, but you don’t give in

tantrum time

he’ll throw a fit for a good hour

stops sooner or later

he comes back to apologize

this doesn’t mean he still won’t try to hear you play

much like stu, he’ll attempt to unplug the headphones while you’re playing

pouts when you immediately stop playing

will even go as far as hiding your headphones from you

“your headphones? gone? goodness, where could they have gone? oh, well! guess you’ve gotta play without them!”

you give him a glare and he huffs, going to rest retreat the stolen headphones from the walls

you could try to explain why you use them, but he’s like a toddler

what he wants, he wants.

“if i’m good and don’t throw any tantrums will you let me listen?”

take up this offer!

if you do, he’ll be ecstatic

he thinks it’s so amazing that you can play

it’s not like any classical instrument that he’s always heard

it’s new and refreshing and he loves it

be prepared to play for him most of time

he’ll even insist you play him a lullaby at bedtime

sure, why not, brahms

#slasher x reader #slashers #slashers fandom #friday the thirteenth #ghostface #ghostface x reader #jason voorhees #jason vorhees x reader #michael myers x reader #halloween #brahms heelsire x reader #the boy #x reader #poly ghostface #rz michael myers

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supernaturallyobsessedchic · 3 years

Text

The Musician Next Door

[Close enough for me, Gif credit to @jensenacklescious]

Square: Vancouver ( @supernatural-jackles tell a story bingo)

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Summary: The reader is an extra on Supernatural, and has a musical talent. But little did she know her music attracted the attention of her neighbor.

Warnings: Nothing bad, just fluff, sweet music (I recommend searching on YouTube to listen to while reading), and some comedy.

Word Count: 1,860

Main Masterlist

Bingo Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

A/N: A small teaser of a possible series I have in mind thanks to Jensen’s recent Instagram post. But this is not going to be the series, it’s something similar. But still, I hope you like it. :3

She’s always wanted to come to this city. Well she’s always wanted to go to Canada, Vancouver was just the plus side.

And, an ever more plus side was the job she managed to grab. An extra on her favorite show. Supernatural.

Sure it was its last and final season and they were finishing up but with having a limited number of extras due to the pandemic she was one of the few they needed.

She drove down the towns streets, seeing it’s lights shimmer in the night. Making her smile softly at the scenery. Another reason she loved Vancouver. It was such a beautiful city.

She got to her apartment complex, the same one her friend lived in. And she learns quickly who her neighbors are.

After getting rather bored on day 3 into quarantine, she looked at her music set. She knew how to play piano and guitar.

She turns on the electric piano, picking the grand piano setting she begins to play with a few keys. Playing nonsense sounds, but a pleasant melody.

She then began leading into one of her favorites. Her favorite anime show, Inuyasha, playing his lullaby piano song.

Playing at the pace of the song, relaxing as she continued to play. After finishing one verse she began singing lightly with the music.

She began to slow the music as it came to a close. She paused for a brief second before playing more.

She began to play Beethoven’s Moonlight Sentra first movement. And blending the end of it with Supernatural’s Dean’s Family Dedication Theme song.

A tear slipping down her cheek as she remembers this is the last time the show will air. She knows how it will end. They all knew. She doesn’t like it, but she didn’t voice it.

She finished the song with a nice peaceful and gentle end. Till her phone buzzed.

“That was beautiful sweetheart, can I make a request?”

The number belonging to Jensen Ackles. Her heart fluttered in her chest. Turns out he was her neighbor. Who would have thought she had an audience of one listening.

“Sure, what would you like to listen to me play…or attempt to play?” she texts back.

She saw him read it quickly before seeing the jumping three dots, showing he’s typing something.

“I am working on a song for my second album, if I send you a sample of it, could you try to bring it to life on the piano?”

Her heart rate skyrocketed. A song that hasn’t even been released yet, but also still in the works she was going to listen to.

“Sure, let me see what you got.” She texts.

He sent her the audio file to her phone promptly, playing it on her headphones, she can hear the notes coming to her.

Giving it a few play throughs, listening intently to the notes on the guitar, his words being sung. She looked at her keys on her piano and began playing around. Until she found the right notes.

Learning the piano, she didn’t learn the traditional way. She taught herself. Just messing around on the family’s grand piano, she learned the simple twinkle little star. Then an armature Amazing Grace. She had an ear for music, she let the music flow through her like wind blowing through her hair. The way the breeze felt on her skin. Making music felt like that to her.

She began playing the song, even singing the song to help her timing with the next verse and the next verse after that.

Once finished, she noticed it had gotten late.

“It was nice playing for you Jay, but I need to head to bed.”

“Okay, goodnight. Sleep well.”

All throughout quarantine she had been playing with her instruments. Entertaining Jensen mostly, but it also relaxes her.

But on their first day on set, after being tested and gotten the okay to head on the sound stage for blocking she went to see Jensen.

Seeing him and Jared walking together to the sound stage, she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself at how much like brothers they were.

“There she is the little musician next door.” Jensen says, coming to her, wrapping an arm around her.

“He told me you play piano, do you really?” Jared asked.

“I do a little bit; it’s been a while.”

“Well, it’s like riding a bike. You never forget. You were so good.” Jensen comments.

“Aw, thanks Jay.”

“Got any new songs to play tonight or…can I make a request again?”

“You can always make a request. Besides, I was writing this song and I just need to get the notes right, the words right and then I’m posting it to my YouTube Channel.”

“Doing YouTube now, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m trying it out. I can’t seem to enjoy a single day job I get. I enjoy jobs like this. Acting, where I can tell a story. Writing, where I can create the story. Music, just creating good sounding, relaxing and calming music.”

“You are such an amazing creator; I think you’ll do great as a YouTube creator.”

“You think so?”

“Totally, right Jare?”

“For sure, hey, do vlogging, give us a behind the scenes.”

“I’m not sure about vlogging, that requires being in front of the camera. And I’m so camera shy.”

“Yet you’re an extra on Supernatural.” Jensen smirks.

“Okay, maybe…I don’t know what it is. But I just don’t want to vlog, okay.”

“It’s okay.” Jared says.

Later that day, she can’t get her thoughts together back at the apartment. She paced back and forth. From the kitchen to the balcony and back around. She was beyond distracted.

“Jay, are you available for hanging out for a little. I can’t focus.” She texts him.

A moment passes when she thought he might have been busy.

“Yeah, just had to get a pizza out of the oven. Want to come over and just chill for a bit?”

“Sure, I just can’t focus on my music right now.”

“It’s fine. Come on over.”

Putting on her shoes she walks over next door to Jensen’s apartment.

Knocking on the door she hears his dog barking.

“Quiet Icarus.” She could hear him beyond the door shushing his dog. Making her chuckle.

“Hey,” he says opening the door. “Come on in.”

She enters, taking her shoes off at his door.

“Want some pizza?”

“Sure,”

Jensen grabs two plates out, giving each two slices of pizza. And walking over to the couch. Turning on his apple tv.

He turns it onto Netflix, Orange is the new black.

But halfway through his second slice he notices she’s not paying attention to the tv. But instead is looking outside. Eating in silence.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks kindly.

“A lot. Stuff going on at home. This whole YouTube thing being real, I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore. It just seems like I’m just going with it.”

“Nothing wrong with going with the flow. But, this stuff at home, how bad is it?”

“It’s nothing bad, I can handle it. it just takes a lot of mental power to get myself past it. You know.”

“For sure.”

They sat back in silence.

“Here, how about we go for a little walk on the town. That should help relax you a bit.” Jensen suggests, as he finishes his pizza. Y/N not even halfway through her first slice.

“Where to?”

“Nowhere, just out for a little relaxing walk. Come on, and grab a jacket it’s supposed to be a little chilly.”

Jensen may not have had a destination in mind, but he knew one place that would help her relax.

The ports, anywhere where there was ocean. He noticed in her posts on Instagram, when she’s at a tropical beach she looks relaxed and at peace with everything. And she knew deep down, once she saw the sun setting by the waters and seeing what they were walking up towards, she knew that he knew.

She felt herself calm at the sight.

“See, you look relaxed already.”

“Thanks Jay, I really appreciated this.”

“It’s not a problem.” he says. Leaning kissing her atop her head with an arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“That jacket’s not warm enough, is it?”

“No, not really.”

A small shiver shook through her as she said that.

He chuckles. “Lets get you home and warm you up.” he says, leaning in, pecking a sweet kiss on her cheek. A centimeter too close to her lips.

Y/N looked up at him with a smirk.

“What was that?”

“It was a kiss, why…”

“You were a bit close to my lips Jay…are you trying to tell me something?” she gives him a playful smirk.

“Okay,” he rubs the back of his neck. “I may like you, since the first day you and I met on set. You kind of took my breath away.”

Her heart pounded in her chest as her face heated up at the comment. Making Jensen smile with a chuckle.

“I, uh…I like you too Jay. I thought it might be a crush thing but, it just wouldn’t shake. I really, really like you.”

Jensen had a smile that went from ear to ear. He brought her in a tight embrace, holding her close.

“I know what you’ve been through. And I want to be there for you, to help you through it all.” He says.

“Thank you Jay, I want to be there for you too.” She says.

She pulls away slightly to look up at him. She could see his eyes glide down from her eyes to her lips as he slowly leans in. Planting a soft kiss fully on her lips.

Their lips moving in a soft dance with each other, his tongue grazing her bottom lip silently asking for permission. She parts her lips at the right moment to allow him in and dominate her mouth in the kiss.

Just when their kiss grew hungry, and their skin began to heat up at the attraction and arousal.

“Finally!”

They pulled away, stunned at the exclamation. Seeing Jared walking down the sidewalk, facetime on revealing Misha.

“It’s about time you two got together!” Misha shouted on the phone.

Y/N’s face heated up once again, hiding against Jensen’s chest. Jensen chuckling.

“Yeah, finally you two can stop with the longing stares and the…does she like me? Does he like me?” Jared says.

“How’d you know we came down here?”

“I didn’t, I saw you and I saw her, and I couldn’t help myself.” Jared smiled.

The couple chuckling.

“You two were being such idiots.”

“Well, we can be idiots together, now, do you mind?” Jensen says.

“Oh, right, get back to making out with your girl. See you two on set, you better have hickey’s to show for it!” Jared shouts as he walks away.

Jensen and Y/N just rolling their eyes, giving each other a quick chaste kiss before walking back to the apartment.

Only he walked back with her to her apartment and sat with her as she played her music, even joining in turning it into a sweet duet.

a/n: What’d you think? Let me know, feedback is always appreciated.

Dean/Jensen Girls:

@pandazombie69, @luci-in-trenchcoats, @supernatural-jackles, @becs-bunker, @jayankles, @winchesters-favorite-girl, @mlovesstories, @akshi8278, @flamencodiva, @megzdoodle, @anotherspnfanfic, @misfit0118, @shawnie74, @missmemoire09, @racetrackheart, @spnbaby-67, @moonlight-on-her-skin, @backseat-of-deans-67chevy, @salt-n-burn-em-all, @lyarr24

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monabela · 3 years

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hello! it seems to be @aphrarepairweek2021 and I'm not one to ignore that! here's some... domestic denfin stuff for day 1, language. I've gone for a pretty liberal approach to the prompts this year, but that's mostly so that all my fics will fit into the same universe :> (it is also the same universe as two of last year's rarepairweek fics! I'll make a tag for it) (that is also the reason I had to call sve berwald and not torbjörn like I usually do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) they will all be standalone little fics but take place in the same au, over the same sort of time period!

in major scale

pairings/characters: Denmark (Søren)/Finland (Tuomi), Estonia (Eduard), Sweden (Berwald), Hungary (Erzsébet) + past SuFin mentioned word count: 2219 summary: Tuomi admires how much Søren cares about other people. It inspires him to do the same.

A series of thumps and clomps heralds Søren’s arrival home. Tuomi looks up with amusement when the door of his little home studio in the back of their house bursts open.

“Tuomi!” Søren shouts. He brings with him the smell of recent rain and early spring blossoms.

Eduard, who is sitting behind Tuomi at his keyboard and wearing headphones, very nearly tumbles off his stool in shock.

“Søren!” Tuomi just returns, while his brother rights himself and glares. “You seem unusually excited.”

Eduard snorts, which makes Søren grin. ‘Unusually excited’ means something different when applied to him than most other people.

“Guess what!” he says, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. His socked feet are both tapping on the ground, with no rhythm to it. Tuomi is sure he couldn’t say what’s got into him; as far as he knows, Søren was just looking after his young nephews for the afternoon.

“Your brother didn’t hide the sugar well enough,” he guesses.

“No, that’s—well, he didn’t, but that’s not my point. Berwald’s gettin’ married!” Now, he waves his arms around wildly. “My brother’s gettin’ married, Tuomi! I’m so proud of him.”

Turning slightly, Tuomi exchanges an amused look with his own brother, who has taken his headphones off and is leaning forward over his keyboard, elbows planted over the keys.

“Now, Søren,” Eduard starts, using his haughtiest voice, which is very haughty. It’s an odd talent.

“Don’t you dare,” he interrupts, though he’s still grinning, “bring up the time he and Tuomi were plannin’ on gettin’ hitched, ‘cause that was ages ago and ain’t relevant anymore.”

“Alright, alright.” Eduard holds up his hands placatingly, and Tuomi just snickers. Søren’s right, he thinks; it’s been over fifteen years since then, and although the whole thing where he took up with the brother of the man who was nearly his husband was awkward at first, for all that it happened several years later, he’s since become good friends with Berwald again. It’s probably better this way.

“That’s great, Søren!” he just says. “And you’re gonna be the best man, I assume?”

“Of course!” His dark blue eyes crinkle at the corners, scrunching up his many freckles in laugh lines and dimples. Tuomi really admires how much Søren cares about other people, even if sometimes it comes at the expense of himself. Tuomi can always remedy that, after all.

“That means you’re gonna have to help with a bunch of organizing, isn’t it?”

“Don’t sound do skeptical of me, Eduard!” Pushing away from the door, Søren lightly strums the strings of an uncovered acoustic guitar sitting in its stand before taking a large step towards Tuomi and bending down to kiss him over the microphone between them, Tuomi angling his own electric guitar out of the way. He smells like sea wind and hair gel, and does taste distinctly sugary behind the smile his lips are still curved into.

Tuomi mutters, “I think you’ll do great. Berwald’s lucky to have you.”

“I hope so. Y’know, the boys are excited as anythin’.” Now, he practically melts, draping his long limbs over Tuomi and his guitar. He always does this when he as much as thinks about his nephews, Berwald’s young sons. Tuomi and Søren are very much the fun uncles. It is a title they both wear with pride.

Patting his jeans-clad ass affectionately, Tuomi pushes his nose into Søren’s wild coppery hair.

“Yeah? They’ve given their blessing, then?”

“Already fightin’ over who gets to be ringbearer.”

“Cute.”

The door of the studio opens.

“Whoa! Am I interrupting?” shouts Tuomi’s half-sister, bursting in.

Eduard, now leaning his head in his hands, says, “Please save me.”

“Berwald’s gettin’ married!” Søren shouts, into Tuomi’s ear. He gets along with Erzsébet far too well.

“Tuomi’s ex?” she yells back, and Eduard promptly loses it. He doubles over his keyboard in hiccupping laughter, shaking and pressing almost all the keys in a horrifyingly discordant tone. Søren looks betrayed in a very comical way. He crosses his arms as he turns to Erzsébet, folding his hands into the sleeves of his red knit sweater. Berwald made that one.

“She not wrong,” Tuomi tells him, holding back laughter of his own. Now even more comically betrayed, Søren turns back to him, with his dark eyebrows raised high and ready to deliver a quasi-outraged speech, but Erzsébet forestalls him.

“You need to make a song for the wedding!”

“Yes!” Tuomi perks up, almost poking Søren in the hip with the neck of his guitar.

“A song?” the man echoes, looking between all three of them. Eduard is now only playing a couple of notes at the same time, thankfully, and he straightens up fully to explain their family tradition.

“We always do it for weddings. It has to be something they’d like, and something the couple can dance to.”

“And then we give it funny lyrics,” Tuomi finishes, “about the person getting married. But we always make sure it’s good.”

“Well, I ain’t surprised about that part, ya snobs.” Søren shakes his head affectionately. He has absolutely no feel for music, but that just means that he appreciates things that most other people wouldn’t give their time of day.

It also means that he somehow considers Tuomi’s very musically inclined family to be elitist about music, which Tuomi thinks is dumb, but he’s not one to argue. He’ll leave that to his brother; it’s very amusing. As a matter of fact, Eduard is already narrowing his eyes at Søren, but doesn’t say anything before he continues.

“I don’t know if Berwald would like that, honestly. It’s not really something we do.”

“Come on, everyone likes music!” Erzsébet enthuses, walking further inside and skirting around Søren and Tuomi in the small space to lean an elbow on Eduard’s shoulder.

“Sure, he likes it, but, I mean—we ain’t like you guys, is all.”

No one is quite like his family, Tuomi thinks, but he appreciates that all the more these days. Søren is the most generous, openminded person he knows, and has broadened his worldview amazingly in the time they’ve been together. Not that his family isn’t openminded; they’re just less inclined to explore than Søren is.

Still, “Music is a universal language, isn’t it?” Tuomi asks him, bumping his shoulder into Søren’s upper arm. He inclines his head in agreement. “It doesn’t even have to have lyrics if you think Berwald wouldn’t like it. Or his fiancé, of course,” he adds, because he doesn’t know the man that well but knows he, like Berwald, doesn’t really appreciate being made fun of, even in good humor.

This is, again, unlike Søren, which is probably why it didn’t work out with his brother and does work with him.

Well, it’s part of it.

Erzsébet, the lyricist of the family, gasps dramatically at the mention of not having lyrics to go with the song, and coughs. She should really quit smoking. Eduard pats her back awkwardly, getting a face full of long brown hair for his efforts.

“And then?” Søren’s asking, but his head is still tilted thoughtfully, as if he’s considering it.

“Well, then it can be for a dance! Consider it a wedding gift from me.”

“His ex,” Erzsébet murmurs, recovered, and Eduard starts giggling again.

“His brother-in-law.” Tuomi blindly throws a guitar pick at her over his shoulder, which, going by the plink and following yelp, hits Eduard’s glasses instead.

Huh. That’s pretty impressive.

“Well, someone will have to teach him how to dance first—”

They all look away.

“—but that sounds awesome, actually! Would you guys be willing to play it?” In his excitement, Søren has leaned very close to Tuomi again, vision filling with his grin and his many, many freckles, and Tuomi can’t help but kiss the corner of his mouth.

“I’d love to.”

His siblings make agreeing noises.

“Right! Well, should I—what’re you guys workin’ on, actually?” Søren gazes around the small space as if hoping to glean clues. Which clues, Tuomi is not sure. He can’t really read music, after all.

“Just tinkering a bit,” Tuomi says. Eduard plays the first few chords of the most recent wedding song they’d written, several years ago already. Erzsébet slaps the cymbal of her drum set in apparent agreement, reaching behind her.

“Hey, I wrote some lyrics, actually,” she says. “I think they’re pretty good.”

It’s been years since they actually made original music that they deemed good enough to send out into the world, but their songs are still getting decent amounts of listeners on Spotify, which is nice; it’s mostly a hobby for all three of them, after all. Lately, though, Eduard and Tuomi have started seriously considering making some new material, and Erzsébet seems to be on board. She promises to send the lyrics to both of them. Although she, like both of her half-brothers and much to Søren’s amazement, plays several instruments, she doesn’t have much talent for composing.

Tuomi tried to teach Søren guitar once. It was fun, but very unsuccessful. He does like the drums.

That’s probably why he gets along with Erzsébet so well.

Deciding that today is probably not going to be very productive, all four of them go into the house instead, and Tuomi makes coffee while Søren hands out some cupcakes that he made yesterday, because Søren very much believes that food is a universal language. He isn’t wrong, if you ask Tuomi, but that’s mostly because Søren is very good at making food, unlike Tuomi.

They’ve all got their talents, he supposes, and it’s how they use them in combination that matters. Even if he’s been banned from using the oven for anything more than frozen pizza.

Eduard, of course, asks for the recipe, because Eduard didn’t get that memo about talents and has too many of them.

Tuomi’s siblings don’t actually stay around for very long after that, both promising to think about the wedding song for Berwald. It is mostly an empty promise on Erzsébet’s part, but that’s okay. Eduard walks away while muttering about waltzes, which Tuomi appreciates, because Berwald seems like a man—is a man, he knows this—who appreciates a bit of tradition, and he’s never tried to compose an instrumental, mostly classical song before.

“You’re adorable, you know,” he tells Søren, who’s standing behind him in the hallway of their house after having seen his siblings off. Søren just grins, rocking back on his heels, hands clasped behind his back and looking much younger than he is.

“I’m just happy for my brother.”

“I know.” Tuomi reaches up to flick some errant hair out of the way. “It’s really cute.”

He gets excited about the smallest things, Søren. Random dogs on the street and odd world records and warm coats and almost everything that’s even a little bit nice. It’d get annoying, Tuomi’s sure, if he weren’t so sincere about it all the time. He got very excited about their civil union as well, which was honestly mostly practical. Tuomi had almost wanted to get married, just to see his reaction to it, but he’d decided years before that marriage wasn’t for him, and remains glad that he stuck by that belief, in the end.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Søren suddenly asks, blue eyes searching Tuomi’s face.

“What? Oh, no, of course not. Berwald’s a good man, and he deserves to be happy.” He shrugs. “I know he’s always wanted the whole… Domestic thing.”

“Guy’s had a plan for a wedding since he was twelve or something,” Søren confirms, grinning. “Only took him thirty years and a couple kids.”

Tuomi knows; he was shown the plan, sixteen years ago, but he decides not to mention that. It’d been quite intimidating at the time; he’d only been 22 and much more interested in… Well, practically anything besides marriage.

Søren slings an arm across his shoulders, squeezing him tightly to his lanky form, and starts walking them both back to the kitchen.

“You’d know, I guess,” he muses, then pulls a face. Tuomi laughs.

“That one was your fault!”

“I know, I know. Don’t remind me.”

Tuomi stops walking, tilting his head up at Søren.

“You don’t mind, do you?” he asks. Turning back, Søren blinks at him.

“Obviously not,” he says, but he bites the inside of his cheek and furrows his dark brows, so there’s evidently something more there.

There’s another thing Tuomi had to be taught by Søren; reading body language. It’s not his fault his family is so unexpressive!

“But?” he prompts.

“I just hope I can do well for him.” Søren shrugs. “He’s my big brother, y’know, and I do kinda feel like I ruined his first chance of marriage sometimes. I know that’s dumb,” he adds hastily.

Tuomi mumbles, “Yeah, that was definitely me.” And then, “Like you say, he’s your big brother. He loves you. Speaking as someone with two older siblings, they might razz you a bit—”

“That’s just your siblings, Tuomi,” Søren interrupts, but the grin is back on his face and just as bright as before. “But I get what you’re saying. Thanks.”

Tuomi boots him with his shoulder, and he laughs, clomping ahead. Tuomi follows, quickly.

Before he eats all the other cupcakes.

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goldafterglow · 4 years

Text

embellished lungs

Summary: Ezra buys a pretty thing for a pretty thing.

Request: hc about what renders Ezra speechless 😶 - @lose-eels (this is not even what you asked for but fuckin here ig im sorry sgkfjdshg)

Pairing: Ezra x reader

Word Count: 2.6k+

Warnings: a big fat drabble?, very really soft, not beta read and tbh barely even normal read i read this maybe twice oops

Author’s Note: i almost put this just like under the ask but I’m not gonna sit here and act like this is a drabble bc i’m a clown. i don’t want to talk about it. and spitting this out bc I was soft for Ezra and @mrpascals made me

Gif Cred: my wife and my baby @pascalplease

masterlist | taglist modifications

He spies it in the open market while he’s stocking up on supplies.

The day is hot, the Sun bearing down on its disciples with a violent red fury, but it’s light is strong, bright. Everything is reflective, hot to the touch from boiling in the heat, and all of the creatures begin to melt together like dyed wax to form one big discernable blob, if you really squint. Ezra’s sweat escapes the barrier of his brows and leaks past his lashes, dragging across his eyes and stinging a little, blurring his vision and dripping onto his arms, but he doesn’t care. He’s far too exhilarated.

The market in itself is absolutely brilliant to him; he’s always been enthralled by this, by people and pretty things, and to be completely surrounded by both felt like something akin to sensory overload. His heart is racing at the sight of people traversing the dirt road, loitering and browsing through produce colored so vibrantly he wonders if the bright red apples and deep indigo berries have been dipped in the tinted glow of fairies that dance in the forest. And he’s utterly taken by the art and trinkets. He’s always had a little soft spot for art - a tender, exposed section of his beating flesh that is so sensitive, so delicate and so easy to provoke. And right now, he seems like he’s subject to a battering ram, pounding against his chest in the best way possible.

His eyes dart around quickly as he tries his best to take everything in. He finds himself cherishing every little interaction, every stranger whose shoulder he is forced to brush in an attempt to make his way through the market, every vendor that begs to him, calls to him to try “just one last berry sir. I’m sure your lover will be delighted by the raspberries from yesterday’s harvest.” He ended up buying a quaint six ounces just so that he could feed them to you. But that would be a treat for later.

And just like that, he is thinking of you. The prettiest, most beautiful thing. A sculpture with imperfections so perfect that he knows it must have taken eons to craft you out of gold and diamonds and the soft fluff of hummingbird feathers and butterfly wings. You are art, a walking, breathing, touchable piece that he gets to admire up close. It’s a privilege, really, to have been gifted with Kevva’s finest handiwork.

As his pupils peruse the stands, admiring his surroundings, they suddenly become frozen in place, permanently stuck on a little trinket that’s caught his attention: a necklace. The gem sitting in the center isn’t aurelac; it’s much more vibrant, much more dramatic and almost rainbow when he looks at it from different angles. The chain isn’t long, and knowing you the gem would fall right between your collarbones. He can already envision you wearing it, like a child flicking watercolors onto the Venus de Milo, but he wants to see his deep green paint draped around your shoulders. The way he sees it when you wear his clothing, when you’re adorned with bruises of his passion like stars adorn the sky, when you wear him. It’s intoxicating, seeing that he’s had any impact on your life and that you parade it around like a trophy. That you think about him without him prompting you to do so - not that he isn’t constantly in your presence. But he wants to buy it just so that he can see you wear it. Perhaps even only wear it.

He’s already thinking about how fucking gorgeous you would look in it. He is thinking about putting it on you, tugging on it ever so lightly in a way that signals to you - that is, rather than exerting any true force on you - that he wants a kiss. Perhaps pulling on it a little harder so that metal bites your skin and you can feel it, feel him digging into the soft flesh of your neck. Now he’s imagined a thousand scenarios in which he can have his way with you just by getting you to wear this piece, and he has to purchase it.

When the vendor finally hands it to him, packaged with care and placed deep into the hollow of a black velvet box, he finds that it barely fits in his pocket. He doesn’t care, though, because it’s too exquisite an accessory to be thrown in with the other supplies and it’s too precious for him to take it out of the box. He’s excited when he comes back to the pod, back home where you are.

Home is you.

He assumes you must’ve heard him come in, the pod door loud and rambunctious as he dumps the bags into the center of the pod space and then crawls in himself - it was hard enough with two arms, nonetheless one. He lets out a sight as if to let the excitement drain out his vessels and into the atmosphere of the cockpit, mingling with the peace and solitude to create a soft buzz that zings through his ears and vibrates his eyes. The exhilaration from being the market was utterly electric, but he is home now. He can crawl into you, let you absorb into him, and he likes how you can make his heart race a million miles and yet also pacify him, a cold compress to his aching soul to help reduce inflammation. He wants to maintain that semblance of the intricate pastel harmony, adorned in lilac and peach hues. So he stands in the middle of the cockpit and closes his eyes, lets himself sway to the rhythm of his lungs for a moment. Just a fraction of solitude, and he doesn’t mind because ever since he met you he has never felt lonely, not even when he’s alone. He always feels you with him.

Once his head has cleared, he palms at his pocket where the little black box still resides, as if to check that he hadn’t dreamt up some fantasy ornament that would look so perfect on you. It’s still there; of course it is, and he feels foolish for thinking that the pretty butterflies would have fluttered it out and flown it away, but sometimes he wonders if the same thing will ever happen to you. If one morning he will wake up and you will have migrated with the birdies, off to seek true warmth because you’re not real, because nothing so good as you could ever be caged by him.

He steps into your shared bedroom and spies you with your back to the entrance. The room is cool, but you’ve elected to wear his shirt, even foregoing pants. His favorite outfit of yours, and he knows you know it. You’re wearing headphones, something he’d picked up for you on your last supply run, and he can tell you’re playing one of those instrumental stations you so adore listening to when you were working. A mutely-colored map is stretched out onto the desk, and he’s not even sure you can focus the music because your mind is moving faster than your poor hand can keep up as you mark up a new dig site. He almost feels bad for interrupting you while you’re in such deep concentration, your forehead smashed into wrinkles without even noticing, but Ezra cannot resist his greed for your attention. Ever so gently, he places his hand on your shoulder from behind so as not to startle you.

You almost immediately register the delicate touch, turning the radio off and pulling your headphones off your ears so you can give this kind artist your undivided attention - Kevva herself knows he's earned it. You turn your head to face him, craning your neck back so you can take his softly smiling depiction like pressing a plush blanket into your face.

“Hey, pretty boy,” you coo, letting your pen fall tumultuously from your hand. The sound of it clanging against the table and then rolling around to a stop fills the room, but you can’t hear it; Ezra is talking now.

“Hey, sweet stardust,” he greets back, voice orange and warm like the heat that simmers under the stars during the summer at midnight.

Comfortable.

“Hey” was never his preferred salutation, and he’d tried to omit it from his vocabulary for so long, but he started to notice that he likes it when you say to him. Like a little pearl of your voice, so sweet like honey with the honeycomb still mixed in, a little grainy and so cheeky.

“Did you get everything we need?” you ask, beginning to stand to that you can press a hand to his chest, grounding him to the pod and to your sanctuary soul. Ezra grins wide, unable to hide his excitement at your words.

“I in fact exceeded our needs, sweet rose bud,” he says with a pride that fills up your chest and makes you want to hold him tight because you love when he gets giddy like this, with the childlike enthusiasm of showing your parents the shitty drawing you made or your ugly macaroni art. Ezra is light, his tone airy. “I happened to spot a gem that reminded me of your vision and I couldn’t resist the urge to get it.”

You brow furrows a little, not out of confusion but out of curiosity. Ezra’s taste has always inspired you, and you knew his never ending quest for art is always in an attempt to find beauty in everything. You don’t even have to look at it to know that it will be stunning because his stamp of “pretty” approval is your gold standard.

He pulls the box out and opens it facing you so that you can get a good look, really admire it, and you are already taken by the shimmering pendant.

“Oh Ezra, it's - it’s utterly magnificent,” you gush, and he can spot that little glimmer in your eyes that you get when you’re looking at something that you’re enamored with; they way you look when you’re gazing at him. You raise your chin to look at him, his cheeks rosy with delight and sweet eyes crinkled at the corners. “Put it on me.”

It’s not so much of a demand as it is a gentle instruction; you know he wants to, know he’s been thinking about it since he bought it, and you want to be open to him. You want to invite him into your heart, inside of the flower garden of your chest, with open arms because he deserves to feel wanted.

You help him pull the chain out of the bottom of the box, keeping one end in your right hand and letting him take the clasp in his left. He wills himself to move slowly, to savor every little stimulation you send through his skin as he steps behind you. His fingers press against your clavicle, tracing along the bone before traveling up over the valley of your shoulder, tips of his hands brushing against your throat. He is feeling you, mapping out your body because he’ll never get to see an angel in his life but he’s certain you must be the spitting image.

You can feel his breath against your skin, hot and intoxicating as a small film of dampness coats your exposed back and neck. Your right hand rests at the nape of your neck, waiting expectantly, but you don’t rush him. He takes his sweet, sugary time, because the surface of your skin feels like he’s running his fingers through a field of silicone needles, firm but harmless as they stimulate a sensation he never knew he could feel before he touched you for the first time. You’re addictive, the best high he’s ever gotten, and he almost lets his hand lose all abandon and travel so carefully down the front of your body, palming your breast along the way and pressing right into your diaphragm before he keeps going down, down, down…

Almost.

But he will save it for a later time, especially since he’d been fantasizing about you wearing the necklace like a carefully chiseled bust is adorned with sashes. So finally, after what feels like hours of roaming and teasing, you feel that calloused, worn sensation of your lover’s fingers seeking solace against yours. You pin your breath to your lungs, not daring to let it go as you wait for the heavy release of his hand indicating that the necklace is secure. But even once you feel it, even as you let your right hand fall down at your side, Ezra does not take his hand off of you. You don’t want him to.

Slowly, so that he never has to cease his touch, you turn to face him. You’re still looking down at the pendant, in awe of how the gem rests so perfectly between your collarbones. You can’t see Ezra’s adoring gaze, his completely awestruck fixation on how ethereal you are to him. Like you’re emitting a golden glow, too hot to touch and yet begging, inviting his fingers to feel and press and hold.

Celestial.

He feels his emotions expand in his stomach, diaphragm threatening to spasm. His hand trails up to your chin, palming your jaw as he tenderly lifts your line of sight so that he can see your pretty eyes.

“You’re divine,” he mumbles to you, not wanting to disrupt the tight silence, so tense he’s afraid of speaking too loud lest it break and snap against his cheek leaving an angry raised brand.

Overwhelmed with appreciation, you balance your hands on his shoulders and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, letting it linger so you can savor the honeysuckle dew on his skin. “I love it,” you whisper with a grin.

Ezra giggles.

When you pull back to face him proper, his face is utterly red. His smile reaches the lobes of his ears, bashful and boyish like his belly has just been tickled by the sweetest of baby chicks, and he can barely get a word out. He can’t speak. His mind is in overdrive, completely inundated with a blistering adoration for you and your approval because you said you loved it. His gift is not a splash of children’s watercolors; it is a clean swipe of gold running along your jaw, accenting your beauty and emphasizing just how exquisite you are to him.

“Yeah?” he managed, a soft giggle still passing his lips like the first cries of a baby deer, the first flutters of a newly hatched butterfly.

Adorable.

You can’t resist the urge to giggle back, placing a hand at the nape of his neck and pulling him in for a true kiss on his glittery lips. It only lasts seconds, however, because Ezra can’t stop smiling and you can’t stop giggling, so you both settle for the blissful solitude of pressing your foreheads against one another, breathing in each other's air and taking up the same space.

“It’s gorgeous, Ezra. Thank you,” you whisper lightly so that the wisps of air tickle his upper lip, and suddenly he is so inclined as to press his left arm into the small of your back so that you’re so much closer and kiss you the way you deserve; a dynamic series of long, deep, searing kisses that send you to the clouds and drop you into an endless pit of lavish fluff at the same time. You don’t know how he does this, makes you feel like you don’t exist and that there isn’t anything in the world but you and him, and you often wonder if it’s because Ezra is within you, or that your broken parts and his broken parts make some hauntingly majestic sculpture of its own; something better than the fucking Venus de Milo or Athena or Great Sphinx because it should be something so hideous and yet it feels to utterly priceless to you.

It’s precious.

ppl that asked to be tagged: @gustavos @catfishingmorales @keeper0fthestars @1zashreena1 @blancatobarxoxo @honeyedspace @chaotic-noceur @opheliaelysia @adikaofmandalore @din-damn-djarin @mrsparknuts @girlwithanewplan @mrschiltoncat @cryptkeepersoul @buckstaposition @the-feckless-wonder @cocoatales @agentpike @cryptkeepersoul

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again, you can join/leave my taglist here :)

#iris writes #ezra #ezra prospect x reader #ezra (prospect) x reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #ezra x you #ezra prospect x you #ezra x reader #pedro pascal x you #shgkdjfhgd #this one was #huh #idk how i feel abt this lol #hope you beautiful bitches like it though :)

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remywrites5 · 4 years

Text

Sirius yawned and stretched his arms over his head as he walked through the hallways of his school. It had been another sleepless night of listening to his parents argue and pretending he couldn’t hear them. He’d put his headphones in and turned his music up as loud as he could but it still wasn’t enough to drown them out. In the end he had given up the illusion of sleep and committed to staying awake – a decision he was now regretting as he tried to make it though the school day.

He had an off period so he was looking for a place to take a nap. He went down towards the music rooms, as there were usually a few practice rooms vacant. He would be able to shut the door and be undisturbed for at least a good half hour. He would just have to set an alarm on his phone so he didn’t miss his maths class. He knew McGonagall was planning a pop quiz because he’d peeked through her planner.

Sirius poked his head into one of the practice rooms and found Remus Lupin strumming a guitar with a pick in his mouth resting against his silver lip ring. Remus glanced up when he heard the door open and smiled kindly. Sirius felt something funny happen to his insides the way it always did when Remus was around. Remus had only moved to their school the year before and no one really knew much about him. Sirius had barely spoken ten words to the guy but it hadn’t stopped him having an annoyingly inconvenient crush on him.

“Sorry,” he said, his hand still on the doorknob. He kept telling his body to turn around and leave but it wasn’t cooperating.

“It’s okay,” Remus said, taking the pick out of his mouth. He played a few more chords and then glanced back up at Sirius. “Did you need something else?”

“Will you teach me the guitar?” Sirius blurted out before he could think better of it.

Remus scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I don’t know, I’ve never taught anyone before. I don’t think I’d be very good at it.”

“I really want to learn though,” Sirius said, pouting slightly at the rejection. It was actually true as well, Sirius had always dreamed of being able to play guitar like a rock star. “I’ll pay you.”

Remus chewed on his lip for a moment while he considered it. “Do you even have a guitar?”

“I can get one,” Sirius promised quickly. He could tell he was wearing Remus down just a bit. He wasn’t going to give up now when he was starting to win him over.

Remus exhaled loudly. “What was your name again?”

Sirius did his best not to look offended at the question. “Sirius Black.”

“If you can get a guitar then I’ll do what I can to teach you,” Remus said, playing a few more chords. “But no promises, okay? I told you I’m not much of a teacher. You really should ask Professor Flitwick. He’s the music teacher after all.”

“He doesn’t like me,” Sirius confessed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning casually against the doorframe. “Last year I purposefully sang the wrong words during our chorus concert and I was in the front row. Everyone could hear me. He wasn’t very happy about it.”

Remus bit his lip ring to keep from smiling. “No, I don’t imagine he would be. Should I expect such disrespect when I attempt to teach you?”

“Nope,” Sirius said, popping the p before letting his lips curl into a grin. “I’ll be an angel.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Somehow I doubt that. Get the guitar and we’ll see.”

“I will,” Sirius promised. He could already feel himself getting excited. He had wanted to learn guitar since forever and now bonus he was getting to learn it from his crush. It felt like a win-win scenario. Sirius headed off having forgotten any ideas of taking a nap, too excited to even think of closing his eyes, for fear that this was a dream.

***

“What are we doing again?” James asked as he hit a tambourine a few times. Taking James Potter anywhere was a menace but Sirius’ best mate had insisted on coming with him.

“I’m buying a guitar,” Sirius responded distractedly as he looked at the wall of guitars in the music shop. “I’m just not sure what kind of get.”

“Why though?” James asked, scratching his head, his fingers getting lost in his unruly hair.

“Remus Lupin offered to teach me,” Sirius explained, pulling one of the guitars off the wall. He put the strap over his head and positioned it against his body. It was a black and white Fender and Sirius couldn’t help thinking he looked kind of cool as he watched himself in the mirror.

“Ah, okay.” James said, nodding in understanding as he put the tambourine back. “So you just want an excuse to spend time with Remus.”

“That’s not all,” Sirius said defensively, strumming his left hand without playing any chords. “I’ve always wanted to learn guitar. This is a perfect opportunity. Plus I get to spend time with Remus.”

James grabbed a pair of drumsticks and began twirling them between his fingers. “Do you think Lily would like me if I played an instrument?”

“Mate, I think the only way Lily Evans would like you is if she got a lobotomy.”

“Rude,” James said, putting the stick back.

Sirius tilted his head from side to side as he looked at himself in the mirror. “Remus had an acoustic guitar. Should I get one of those instead? If I show up with the wrong kind of guitar he might change his mind about helping me.”

“You’re overthinking it,” James assured him, clapping his hand on Sirius’ shoulder. “Just get whatever kind of guitar you want.”

Sirius nodded and gave his best friend an appreciative look. He tried a few more guitars and decided on a candy apple red and black Fender. It was about six hundred pounds but Sirius thought it was well worth it. He just hoped that Remus liked it as much as he did.

***

Remus’ eyes widened as Sirius took his new guitar out of the case. “Wow, that’s um…quite the guitar.”

“Is it bad?” Sirius asked, his stomach dropping. He knew he would mess everything up. He should have just gotten an acoustic guitar like the one Remus had. “I can always take it back.”

“No, it’s fine.” Remus said, smiling softly. “It’s kind of flashy but I think it suits you.”

Sirius tucked his hair behind his ear and returned Remus’ smile. “You think so?”

Remus nodded and then adjusted the beanie on his head. His tawny curls were poking out from the front of it and his school tie undone. He looked relaxed and effortlessly cool. Sirius desperately wanted to kiss him and find out what the lip ring would feel like.

Remus sat down on the floor with his guitar in his lap and Sirius immediately moved to sit down across from him. Together they tuned Sirius’ guitar so that it matched Remus’. Remus showed him a few chords and they played Yellow Submarine together very slowly since it only had about three chords in the chorus. “That’s really good,” Remus said, beaming at Sirius proudly. “You’re a natural.”

Sirius grinned and shook his head. “No you’re just a good teacher.”

“Bullocks,” Remus teased, scratching his eyebrow. “You’ve played an instrument before. I can tell.”

Sirius snorted and ran through the chords again. “My mum made me play violin as a kid. Had to take private lessons and everything. I wasn’t that into it but she liked having a son that could play. My brother Reg played the piano and she would make us play duets during dinner parties. It was the worst.”

“But she let you quit?”

Sirius glanced up at Remus and then gave him a shrug in response. “The high school doesn’t have an orchestra anyway so there wasn’t much point in continuing on. She allowed me to pursue other interests.”

“She sounds kind of tough,” Remus said, patting Sirius’ knee sympathetically.

Sirius reached down and places his hand over Remus’, enjoying the feeling of warmth that came from touching him. He turned Remus’ hand over and felt the callouses on Remus’ fingers from the guitar strings. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“Sirius – “

“Anyway, I’m here to learn, not share my tragic backstory,” he said, dropping Remus’ hand. “What’s next?”

Remus chewed on his lip ring for a moment and seemed ready to argue. After a moment he shook his head and showed Sirius another chord. “So, um, my band is playing a gig this weekend.”

“You’re in a band?” Sirius asked, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Yeah, we’re terrible,” Remus told him with a soft chuckle. “Lily convinced me to join after her old guitar player, Fabian, hurt his hand during a rugby match. If you wanted to come see us play we’ll be at the Three Broomsticks on Saturday night. You don’t have to though, as I said, we’re not very good.”

“I’ll be there!” Sirius promised, knowing there was no way in hell he’d miss it.

***

“You’re sure Lily is going to be here?” James asked, following Sirius through the pub.

“It’s her band, you numpty,” Sirius said as he playfully smacked James upside the head. “She’s the lead singer.”

“Oh god, I’m going to die. She’s so pretty and she can sing?”

It was pretty crowded for a Saturday night as James and Sirius weaved their way through the crowd. They each got a pint from the bar and then went to find somewhere to stand so they could see the stage. For the moment they were just playing music through the speakers of what sounded like a club mix.

After about twenty minutes of Sirius searching in vain for Remus, the lights dimmed and the spotlights on the stage came on. Sirius glanced over at his best friend and saw his jaw drop as Lily Evans stepped onto the stage. She had on a pair of fishnet stockings and black shorts, a Star Wars t-shirt and an unzipped hoodie over it. While James stared at Lily, Sirius’ vision focused just slightly to her left where Remus was plugging his guitar into the amp. Instead of his brown acoustic guitar he had a turquoise and white electric guitar. He wore ripped jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a blue and green flannel with his signature (as Sirius had come to think of it) brown beanie on his head. Rounding out the band was Benjy Fenwick on bass and Marlene McKinnon on drums.

Remus looked out into the crowd and smiled when he noticed Sirius, his teeth resting against his lip ring, making Sirius’ insides do funny little flips. Marlene banged her sticks together a few times as Lily stepped up to the mic and began to sing. James immediately started cheering and clapping as the song began. After a moment Sirius couldn’t help joining in.

Lily took the mic out from the stand and walked over to Remus, their hips swaying in time to the music as they danced together. Sirius couldn’t help the pang of jealousy in his chest from how close Lily was getting to Remus. He knew it was just part of the show but they leaned in close to share the mic as Remus harmonized with Lily. Sirius took a large pull from his beer and tried to get himself under control. He felt slightly better when the song ended and Lily went back to the mic stand in the center of the stage.

“What do you know about that bloke Remus?” James shouted in Sirius’ ear as the next song started. He clearly was jealous of the on stage chemistry Lily and Remus shared too.

“I know he’s going to be mine after tonight,” Sirius said before downing his beer and heading to the bar for another one.

They played a total of five songs before Lily thanked everyone and wishing them good night. The lights on the stage went out and the band began to pack up their stuff. The same club mix started to pour out of the speakers as James and Sirius made their way to the stage.

“Oh great, what do you want?” Lily asked already scowling at James.

“I just came to watch the show!” James answered defensively.

Remus had just finished putting his guitar away when Sirius tugged him down from the stage. “Hi there,” Remus said, smiling warmly at Sirius. “Did you – “

Remus was cut off by Sirius capturing his lips in a kiss much less frantic than Sirius felt at the moment. Remus pulled back after a few seconds and stared at Sirius with a puzzled expression on his face. Sirius reached up and brushed Remus’ curls off his forehead before pressing a kiss there as well.

Remus laughed softly. “Should I take that to mean you liked the show?”

“I did,” Sirius confirmed, letting his arms rest around Remus’ shoulders. “Also you lied to me.”

“I did?” Remus asked bemusedly as he put his hands on Sirius’ waist.

“You told me you were rubbish,” Sirius reminded him. He let his hand cup the nape of Remus’ neck and he pressed down just slightly, feeling Remus shiver against him in response. “I thought you were really good. You were a rock star.”

Remus rolled his eyes before leaning in and kissing Sirius again. “I think you might be a tad biased on that account.”

“Not at all,” Sirius said as he nibbled playfully on Remus’ lip. “I’m quite the music snob if you must know.”

“Ah,” Remus huffed in amusement. “So you liking our music is actually quite the compliment.”

“Exactly,” Sirius murmured against Remus’ lips, kissing him again and then again for good measure. “I’ve excellent taste in music and men.”

Remus took a step back in order to grab his guitar off the stage. He held it in one hand and took Sirius’ hand with his other. “You know, if you wanted to go out with me you could have just asked. You didn’t have to pretend you wanted to learn guitar.”

“I did want to learn the guitar,” Sirius insisted as Remus led him out through the back door of the club. Benjy’s van was parked outside so Remus slid his guitar into it and then sat down on the edge of the open boot. He grabbed Sirius by his Ramones’ t-shirt until Sirius was standing between his open legs. “I might be a bit hot for teacher, though.”

“God, I hope you mean me and not Professor Flitwick,” Remus teased with a knowing smirk.

“Mm, Flitwick is dead sexy,” Sirius joked, tracing the contours of Remus’ face with his finger, trying to memorize it already, as he couldn’t get enough of it. “But I prefer you.”

“It’s a good thing you’re my only student or I would get accused of playing favorites,” Remus said, putting his hands behind him and leaning back.

“Only two lessons and I’m already teacher’s pet, huh?” Sirius managed to quip even though his heart was racing from the way Remus was looking at him. He desperately wanted to shut the boot and snog Remus in the back of the van.

Remus hummed in agreement. “My pet, you say? If that’s the case then maybe I should feed you, huh boy?”

Sirius let out a yip like a puppy and licked a stripe up Remus’ neck. “Remus Lupin, are you asking me out on a date?”

Remus laughed and shoved Sirius’ face away. “Yeah, I guess I am, since apparently I already own you anyway.”

“Think you’ll keep me then?” Sirius asked, sitting down next to Remus and lacing their fingers together. It was astonishing to Sirius that something as simple as holding Remus’ hand was enough to make him feel a little lightheaded.

“Yeah,” Remus said, giving Sirius’ hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll keep you.”

#wolfstar #i write things #fluff #high school au #Band AU #guess who just watched Given and needed to write something based on it?#sirius black x remus lupin #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #background jily #even though it doesn't go anywhere #today in things no one asked for #lomg post

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