#and i know the q is ‘y do u feel like u ‘need’ substances at all’

[soshinee]

tetrahydrocannabinol i miss you every single day you are so superior to ethanol it’s not even funny not even a tiny little bit as a joke for tumblr.com. i miss you and i always think of you and i wish you were legal here in even a provisional sense.

anyway stream my love☺️🫶🥰🥰

[ladyblogger-margie]

James “Bucky” Barnes – NSFW Alphabet

***GN!Reader (Let me know if I slipped up anywhere)

A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex)

He frankly isn’t the most attentive after sex. He tells you the experience was great and gives you a kiss when you’ve both finished, but he leaves you to clean yourself up and wanders away to do his own thing and work out the remaining aderline by getting some water or washing his face. But he will have a smile on his face for the rest of the day just thinking of how your bodies came together so perfectly.

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part on themselves and on their partner)

He loves his thighs. They are strong and support his and your weight without shaking. He struts when he walks, and his thighs are front and center of that confidence display.

He loves your eyes. He feels like you are the only one who can truly see him, the real him, and those eyes just bore into him so knowing, so lovingly. He loves to watch you sleep and his heart grows so soft when he sees you lashes fluttering as you dream.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum - I am a disgusting person)

He wants to come on your face whenever possible. He loves leaving a mess you clean up with you hand and push into your mouth. If he gets some in your hair in the process, he will not tell you and let it stay there until the next time you shower, the thought of that making him hard again instantly.

D = Dirty Secret (What do they secretly want)

He would love to have a threesome with you. The gender of the third doesn’t matter, just wants to find someone that’ll make you happy too. He wants to watch you fuck someone else and he wants you to watch him fuck someone too. A threesome is the top of his special request list, even though he’s worried it would offend you to know that. You’ll really have to develop that bond and sense of understanding before he’ll feel comfortable enough to know that you won’t be upset by his request. It’s absolutely not that you’re not enough for him, it’s just about escalating the experience for you both and creating a shared experience.

E = Experience (Do they know what they are doing?)

He’s not as experienced as you might think. He may be over 100 years old but his time as a brainwashed Hydra agent was not spent exploring his sexuality. His experience before the war was varied, but he still has a lot to learn, especially when it comes to all the new inventions in toys and roleplay that have occurred during his time out of practice. He is an eager student though and happy to explore uncharted territory and experiment with you.

F = Favorite Position (Self explanatory)

He loves to 69. He loves how your mouth feels around his cock as he draws an orgasm out of you. It also is inline with how much he loves to finish on and around your face.

G = Goofy (Are they serious during sex or goofy?)

He’s a pretty serious person. He can be a little flirtatious which sometimes comes across goofier than he means, especially when roleplaying. Most of the time though he is as dark and brooding as ever.

H = Hair (Are they well groomed?)

No, he is not a detailed groomer. He is clean, but he does not manscape and is all natural. He likes his partner however they’re comfortable, regardless of if that is completely hairless or full bush. But he does love himself some pubic hair to get absolutely lost in, but will never force a choice on his partnet. He expects his partner to respect his grooming choices equally.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment?)

Most of the time when you two are intimate it is primal and urgent leaving his emotional connections feeling a bit detached from your physical actions. He is all about the release for both of you and that’s his clear objective. He shows his emotional attachment to you in different ways. At first it caused you some insecurity, but as you got to know him better you understood that his compartmentalization actually created different ways for you two to connect rather than to keep you apart.

J = Jack Off (Do they masturbate?)

He jack’s off almost constantly since he returned from his brainwashed state. He loves mutual masturbation as well. He sometimes uses his metal arm for a unique, almost out of body experience when it comes to self-pleasure. Though he’d always pick time with you over going solo.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He is very into spitting. He always spits in his hand before he jacks himself off and if you’re masturbating together, he’ll insist you spit in his hand for him. He loves to spit in your mouth and if you’re riding him, he begs you to spit in his mouth. It’s filthy and he loves it.

L = Location (Favorite place to do it)

He loves to fuck you in public. You’ll find a secluded path just off the trail and drop your pants to your ankles as he pushes you against a tree. He’ll cover your mouth with his hand and expect you to drool and pant into it as he thrusts into you hard and messy. He’ll be hard the rest of your walk as he knows his cum drips out of you as you continue forward.

M = Motivation (What turns them on or gets them going?)

It doesn’t take much to get him going to be honest. He’s always ready whenever you are. He especially likes when you slyly reference a previous encounter in a vague way in front of other people, faking innocence to your inside double entendre.  

N = No (Something they will not do. Turn offs.)

He does not want to engage in anything related to a piss!kink. It is just one of those things he can’t understand why people are into it, and while he respects everyone’s right to explore their own sexuality in their own way, it is just not something that appeals to him or turns him in. He supports it, but only for other people and not for his own experience.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skills, etc.)

He loves to give you pleasure, no question, but he never comes harder than when you give him oral. Something about him looking down at you with your lips around his cock just pushes him over the edge like nothing else does. He loves when you touch yourself while he fucks your face. He never lasts as long as he means to when you tease him like that.

P = Pace (Are they fast or rough? Or slow and sensual?)

He is a fast and hard kind of fuck. The kind of fuck that leaves your breathless and bruised unable to walk. He wrecks you so completely and so thoroughly so quickly that you don’t even mind that he leaves you whimpering and trembling alone on your bed when he’s finished with you because you’re so overstimulated by the time he’s done you don’t think you could handle much more.

Q = Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than regular sex)

He is the king of quickies. If anything, he prefers them. They keep him from getting too caught up in his own thoughts and insecurities and force him to be entirely in the moment where all that matters is your shared pleasure in whatever time span you two have available to you without interference from the real world.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is up for anything you want to try. After discovering internet porn he came to you every day with a new idea to test out. Sometimes they end in complete bliss, and other times they are complete failures, but he loves the process and learning new ways to worship each others’ bodies.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go? How long do they last?)

He is a super soldier; he can last much longer than you with more rounds in him than you can take. Some days you are totally beyond spent that he finishes himself off and cums on your face as you lay there and take it as a blissed-out shell of your regular self.

T = Toys (Do they own or use toys on themselves or partners?)

As part of his experimentation, you and he buy every toy that piques your interest until you have quite an elaborate and varied collection. His favorite is a remote-control vibrator that you use on him when you’re out in public. He likes the exhibitionist nature of that and he likes that you are in control of him in ways no one actually knows.

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

He thinks he is a big tease, but he can’t help himself when you’re naked in front of him. He’ll send you naughty messages with details on what he will do to you later in order to build up the anticipation, but when the time comes, he is full steam ahead at a rapid pace.

V = Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

He is a grunter for sure. Doesn’t say much, but he makes animalistic, unrestrained grunts that awaken something primal deep within you. He sounds absolutely feral sometimes and it’s the best kind of dangerously sexy.

W = Wildcard (Random headcanon for your character)

He hard to get to know, but once he lets you in he becomes extremely clingy. He will never admit it, but it’s not a coincidence that he always happens to be in the same room as you and just happens to need to brush his teeth while you jump in the shower, or he decides he needs a snack while you’re in the kitchen baking, or why he decides to read in the living room while you doing yoga instead of in the library/den. When you’re working from home he has never been happier knowing he can be in the same room with you literally all day every day.

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

He’s surprisingly average, not that average is bad. Frankly though all that matters is how he uses it which is exceptionally well. He fills you just right and always leaves you feeling good. He isn’t flashy in appearance, but who needs flash when there’s substance and commitment to pleasure.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He is horny all the time, he is always ready whenever you are and can get feral if denied too long. He always respects your consent of course, but he is all over you all the time. If you ever ask him to fuck he’s naked before you can finish your request.

Z = ZZZ (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

He usually gets up and putters around right after you two finish as he works some of the leftover adrenaline out of his system. Which is why you often find him passed out, snoring and drooling on the couch or slumped over at the kitchen table just crashing where he lands when he comes down from his high.

[unholy-merchant]

NSFW Alphabet:

Strife

Sorry, this took so long! It is currently finals week and I'm just trying to survive. @theimgonnapregal for helping me come up with a few of these! Anyways, Enjoy!

A = Aftercare (What are they like after)

He’s relatively lighthearted after sex and will definitely try to make you laugh as you both come down from your highs. To him laughing is the purest form of intimacy. Aside from the usual tending to his partner, He’ll make sure to clean you off and run a hot bath for you both. Strife will make you feel divine. He whispers praise into your ear as he holds you close to him, stroking your forearm lightly, kissing all your sore spots.

B = Body Part (Their Favorite body part of theirs and their partners)

We all know Strife is an ass man. But no seriously this man cannot resist your ass. Especially when it's bouncing on his cock. He tends to grab it often whether it be in public or in private. Loves the little noises you make when he pinches it and your blushing face after. He likes how it molds perfectly into his hands. Just like your ass, he loves his hands. With them he can make you crumble before him, begging him for more and he adores it.

C = Cum (Anything to do with their seed)

Hot, Long, and sticky strands. You know he’s close when he gets quiet, growling seductively into your ear. He likes to cum onto your back or into your mouth. Getting an amazing view of his hot substance dripping down either your chin or ass. As for the amount? Oh, honey. I wouldn't say it a lot but if your sucking him don't expect to swallow it all.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty Self Explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Wouldn’t mind if he fucked you while you wore his helmet. Or if you sucked him off while he sat on Samaels throne. He thinks it would be hilarious to defile Samaels throne more than it already is. But at the same time, he would never want to put you in danger nor take you to hell. Plus he knows the Red bastard (Not War) is on there 24/7.

E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

Strife has a good amount of experience. Especially since he's the most “human” of the four. He knows enough to tease you before giving you what you want. Knows what you want and will definitely give it to you. He’s very in tune with his partner's desires. He definitely is the second biggest tease out of his siblings. We all know whose the first ;)

F = Favorite Position (What position they like to see ya in)

As I said before he's an ass man so therefore would want a perfect view of your ass. Doggy style is his go-to, especially for the rougher sessions. He's also partial to reverse cowgirl or regular cowgirl.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment or are they more humorous?)

Ok, we all know he likes to make a lot of jokes but when it comes to making love, he's a bit more serious only cracking a few jokes here and there jokes if you're nervous. He wants to ease the tension. Wants to make sure you're comfortable. He seems like the type to put an emphasize on fun during sex but not to the point where it's obnoxious.

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the Carpet match the drapes?)

The carpets indeed match his drapes. Surprisingly well-groomed. He makes sure to groom himself from time to time. Even with his schedule. He wouldn't want you to struggle with an unmanageable jungle. No one wants that it's gross.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

I think Strife can be very romantic when he wants to be, in his own way. He strikes me as someone who's more in touch with the tender side of human emotions so he wouldn't have trouble with romantic gestures or sweet words towards you. Like, he's not super sappy but there's a more open truth about his adoration for you. Expect lingering touches on your body.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He’ll only do it when the mood strikes him other than that he won't do it often. But when the mood does strike he goes to town. His mind is dirty, let's be honest. He's probably thinking of you doing something really kinky or sexy. Will be a panting mess. Moaning your name into his sheets or quietly into his scarf as he pumps himself.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Strife definitely has a helmet kink and you cannot change my mind. Will fuck you in a heartbeat if he came home and saw you lying seductively with his helmet on.

L = Location (Favorite place to do they do)

Aside from your shared bedroom, I think the shower would be his favorite place to have sex. Pressed tightly together in a small space. Hot water running down your bodies as he pushes you closer to him. Mouths kissing each other in roaring heat. It's Steamy and he loves it.

M = Motivation (What gets them going?)

When his Love uses a gun just like he taught you too. He just can't help how beautiful you look while wielding a gun. That and the hot glances you give him, the ones full of pure love and adoration. The ones that make him feel human.

N = NO (Something they wouldn't do/turn-offs)

WILL NOT for the love of the Creator hurt you. Never accidentally or intentionally. So please never suggest something that will put you in harm's way. He doesn't find it sexy or appealing when someone belittles him either. He doesn't mind dirty talk but do insult him.

O = Oral (Preferences in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Most likely will give rather than receive. He wants to watch you crumble under his tongue. Begging as he takes long soft strokes against your core. Lapping at your sweet honey. Receiving is a whole other thing. Pulls slightly at your hair when you suck him off. Your tongue curling around his length as you take him in. Lips soft and gentle around his cock. It's one of his fave things to watch.

P = Pace (Fast and Rough or Slow and Sensual?)

Strife would base his pace on his partner's preferences/strengths. Especially if your human. Slow and Sensual is his default. He wants to savor the moment. Wants to hold you close to him. Feel everything you have to offer to him. He loves you, you're his entire world and he just wants to bask in your love. The only time he will be rough with you is if you ask. Other than that expect some sweet and gentle loving.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies than then proper sex, how often?)

He's a very busy man so Quickies are always great for him. Course he always prefers taking his time. It's just really convenient for him. Especially when he has to go on a mission and the both of you need to release some stress. Quickies happen more than proper sex because of his schedule. But when he does have the time he’ll make sure to love you fully.

R = Risk (Are the game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

Absolutely! The risk of getting caught is something he thrives off of. It's exhilarating to him. If you're down to experiment then so is he. And it's more than just locations that he wants to experiment with. It's also positions. See what sticks and what doesn't.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long can they last?)

Well, I believe he can go for a really long time. He's a Nephilim after all, so he can go for longer than the average sexual partner. He can go as long as you want. But remember this man and only go so far, he needs breaks too.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them on their partners or themselves?)

With him having such a familiarity around humans, he knows about a lot of sex toys. Will use them on you often, just to hear you beg and moan before going in himself.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease?)

If I didn't say before in saying it again. Second. Biggest. TEASE. He’ll trace his fingers up your thigh. Leaves a trail of kisses from your chest to your abdomen. Will thumb your inner thigh for a bit before moving lower to your core. He knows what he's doing and will have you begging.

V = Volume (How loud are they, what sounds do they make?)

His volume is not what'd you'd expect it to be. Strife makes soft groans and breathless chuckles as he makes love. Rougher sessions are when he tends to be a bit more vocal. Moaning your name over and over as he reaches his high.

W = Wildcard (Get a random headcanon)

You once made him a necklace from one of the bullets from his gun. It has a small engraving of his name on it. You gifted it to him as a small thank you for saving your life. So whenever he misses you he pulls out the necklace from beneath his scarf. I couldn't think of a good Nsfw headcanon.

X = X-Ray (Let's see what's in those pants!)

Strife is confident in his abilities so you best believe he's also confident in this area too. His length is 6 and a half.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I see him as someone with a moderate sex drive. Not too low nor very high. It's manageable. He's usually busy preserving Balance and I guess that's affected his sex life a little bit.

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward?)

He'll fall asleep right after you've fallen asleep. right after he's made sure that you're ok and that you've been well taken care of. Strife is very soft with you, his heartbeat lulling you into a peaceful sleep. Will listen as your breathing slows down and when it does he knows your asleep. Holds you tightly to his chest, savoring you being in his arms for a bit before falling asleep on his own.

[lillibabble]

You can find the originals HERE  

ABCs of your OCs a list of oc questions in alphabetical categories - i made each category based on the first word I could think of in alphabetical order, so enjoy!

A: Aptitude 1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?

Cath likes to sing, though maybe not infront of anyone. 

2. what activities have they participated in?

Klaus keeps a close eye on her, but she does enjoy archery

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?

Archery. She’s a horrible shot. 

4. what things are they bad at?

She doesn’t have the patience for art

5. what is their most impressive talent?

She can actually carry a tune quite nicely

B: Basics 1. what is their hair color?

Very dark brown, almost black 

2. what is their eye color?

Brown

3. how tall are they?

Five foot even

4. how old are they?

Almost 23

5. how much do they weigh?

uh

C: Comfort 1. how do they sit in a chair?

It depends.  If Klaus is in the room she sits with good posture, if not she has her legs folded up under her

2. in what position do they sleep?

With lots of pillows and wrapped around most of them. 

3. what is their ideal comfort day?

Wake up, shower, put pjs on, eat some breakfast, read most of the day, lunch, take a warm bath, read some more, nap, dinner, sleep

4. what is their major comfort food? why?

She loves warm chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven. They make her feel warm all over. 

5. who is the best at comforting them when down?

Probably Klaus or Bo 

D: Decoration 1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?

I’m not sure if there is a stylistic name for it but its a mix of semi girly and minimalistic. 

2. how would they decorate their child’s room?

Probably similarly

3. how do they decorate their own room?

Still kinda girly, maybe a tad bit of what she would call messy

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?

Lots of sweaters. Put together comfyish but she knows how to dress fancy if she needs to. 

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?

Sometimes? She picks at her nails so they don’t get too long but she wears a little bit of makeup. She likes to watch videos on makeup but isn’t necissarily into it

E: External Personality 1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?

She’s extremely meticulous in how she does things. Everything has an order to be done. 

2. do they do things that conform to the norm?

Internally? yes. Externally? not really?  

3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?

She likes to fit it

4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?

Some of them

5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?

She doesn’t pretend to be mysterious, but she’s not screaming her business at others either 

F: Fun 1. what do they do for fun?

She hangs out with Quinn, explored with Bo

2. what is their ideal party?

No party

3. who would they have the most fun with?

Quinn and Kenzie

4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?

Ofcourse she can

5. do they go out a lot?

Not really, no 

G: Gorgeous 1. what is their most attractive external feature?

Probably her smile 

2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?

She’s super friendly and laughs a lot 

3. what benefits come with being their friend?

Her dad is a vampire?

4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?

She likes her hair and her eyes, she doesn’t like her hands 

5. what parts of others do they envy?

She wishes she had Quinns focus and Kenzie’s curls 

H: Heat 1. do they rather a hot or cold room?

Klaus keeps the house fairly cold and she’s okay with that. She hates being too hot. 

2. do they prefer summer or winter?

Winter 

3. do they like the snow?

Eh

4. do they have a favorite summer activity?

Icecream!

5. do they have a favorite winter activity?

Walking in the snow when everything is silent 

I: In-the-closet 1. what is their sexuality?

Straight 

2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?

Not really, no

3. have they ever questioned their gender?

Nope

4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?

Probably. He’s been around for hundreds of years, he’s seen it all. 

5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?

She’s straight. 

J: Joy 1. what makes them happy?

Dreamsicles, denim jackets that smell like whisky, wool winter coats and how they’re scratchy to touch, cooking with her dad, Jorie singing somewhere in the house, the satisfying sound a crossbow makes when you knock it, the smell of books old or new 

2. who makes them happy?

Bo, Quinn, Klaus 

3. are there any songs that bring them joy?

She likes anything upbeat

4. are they happy often?

Yes

5. what brings them the most joy in the world?

Cara and Bo 

K: Kill 1. have they ever thought about suicide?

NO! 

2. have they ever thought about homicide?

No

3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?

Geezus lighten up 

4. who would miss them if they died?

Klaus, Bo...a lot of people

5. who would be happy they died, anyone?

Kai maybe 

L: Lemons 1. what is their favorite fruit?

Oranges

2. what is their least favorite fruit?

Red apples, she likes green and yellow 

3. are there any foods they hate?

Shellfish

4. do they have any food intolerances?

Shellfish

5. what is their favorite food?

When Klaus makes cajun food its just...-chef kiss-   He never eats it though......

M: Maternal 1. would they want a daughter or a son?

Either

2. how many children do they want?

Maybe just one

3. would they be a good parent?

Of ofcourse��

4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?

Finn or Cara

5. would they adopt?

Probably. She was adopted, so why not 

N: Never Have I Ever 1. what would they never do?

Hurt someone intentionally

2. what have they never done that they want to do?

Write a book 

3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?

Kill eachother

4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?

Its hard to pick just once

5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?

Fell in love 

O: Optimism 1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimistic

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?

Sometimes

3. are they good at giving advice?

Not at all, no

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?

Jorie probably

5. were they always optimistic?

Pretty much

P: Personality 1. what is their best personality trait?

She’s happy most of the time 

2. what is their worst personality trait?

She overthinks everything

3. what of their personality do others love?

She’s always willing to help

4. what of their personality do others envy?

I unno 

5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?

She hates that Kai is such a douche. She doesn’t like that Klaus holds onto her so tightly

Q: Questions 1. do they ask for help?

When she needs it

2. do they ask questions in class?

Sometime

3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?

Sometimes

4. do they ask weird questions?

Oh yes 

5. are they curious?

Almost to a fault 

R: Rules 1. do they follow rules?

Most of the time 

2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?

In the middle?  She lets Cara be herself and learn on her own but also knows when to draw boundaries

3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?

Oh yes 

4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?

Not really

5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?

Eh?  She thinks that some of the incovenience her but knows they are there for a reason

S: Streets 1. are they street-smart?

Lolno

2. would they give money to someone on the streets?

Probably

3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?

Nah

4. has anything happened to them on the streets?

Everything from being tracked to almost being eaten

5. are they cautious when out?

She likes to think she is

T: Truth 1. are they honest?

Most of the time

2. can they tell if someone is lying?

If she knows them well enough 

3. is it obvious when they’re lying?

She will bite her lip or pick at her nails

4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?

She probably should have been honest when she found out she was pregnant

5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?

Not so far 

U: Underdog 1. have they been bullied?

A little 

2. have they bullied anyone?

No

3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?

No

4. have they ever been doubted?

Yes 

5. have they surprised people with being good at something?

Eh 

V: Vomit 1. do they vomit often?

She has a weak stomach

2. do they get lots of stomach aches?

Not really

3. are they good at comforting someone ill?

She has good bedside manner but as soon as someone starts extreting any sort of substance shes gonna puke

4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?

She likes to be held 

5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?

What? 

W: Water

1. do they drink enough water?

Thats really all she drinks 

2. have they learned to swim?

Nope 

3. do they like to swim?

Nope 

4. can they dive?

Nope! 

5. can they swim without holding their nose?

Nope 

X: Xylophone 1. what is their favorite genre of music?

Folk probably

2. do they have a favorite song?

It changes 

3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?

It also changes 

4. can they sing well?

Extremely

5. can they rap?

Lol no

Y: You 1. how old were you when you created them?

26

2. what inspired you to create them?

I dunno, we were making a different AU 

3. were they different when they were first created?

Nah 

4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?

Shes easy to write but I wouldn’t say I like her better than Lilli or Adam 

5. what’s your favorite thing about them?

Shes so bubbly!

Z: Zebra 1. what’s their favorite animal?

Elephants

2. do they like animals?

Yes 

3. cats or dogs?

Doggos

4. what’s their dream pet?

All of them 

5. do they have any pets at the moment?

Does Bo count? 

[viktcria-blog]

stellaluna • viktoria “vik” • aaland s u l l i v a n

icy breezes float across naked flesh as melodies coated in melancholia float across stale air. useless factoids trail across their mind, she traces patterns against florals sitting in tepid water. she strokes the neck of an empty champagne bottle, shatters it against marble. they say it’s all too much, the thought beckons bumps to rise against her skin.

d e m o g r a p h i c s

full name: stellaluna viktoria “vik” aaland

age: twenty-one 

sexuality: bisexual 

gender: demiwoman / she & they

major & minor: psychology ( major ) & anthropology ( minor )

♪ icy — kim petras

family • history • connections • plots  under the cut & exhaustive

f a m i l y

                father ( adoptive / deceased )                                   mother ( adoptive )                    peter aaland ( sol invictus )                             camille aaland ( née bordelais )

                                                    grandmother ( adoptive )                                      vikoria “angelique” bordelais ( née eriksson )

( cancer / death tw for everything below this warning )

• their father was a musician who went by the alias “sol invictus” ( after the roman sun god ), his band, invincible, was extremely successful in the late eighties / early nineties and has some classics ( the most helpful comparison i have for sol is kurt cobain mixed with alex turner and flung back to the 90s. )

he was diagnosed with cancer when vik was a child, and became involved with a faith healer and his cult ( the sun’s chosen children ) before his death. after his death, there was a vicious battle over his estate, as he left everything to the cult and its manipulative leader. this is a dark chapter of vik’s life, and she didn’t entirely understand what was going on due to her young age, just that her father was dead and it ruined her mother. sol’s involvement with the chosen children was the subject of much tabloid gossip, and so was the legal battle.

• her mother was a model and the daughter of a swedish-french film star ( the original viktoria ) who married an “english screenwriter with a french name.” camille is very fond of horses and horse racing and has spent large parts of her life on stud farms ( including her own parents’ stud in england, where her mother retired to ), and currently lives on one in mexico, somewhat close to mexico city.

• viktoria is adopted, she was born in sweden  ( which both of her adoptive parents had a connection to ) and placed for adoption by her birth parents shortly after. they don’t particularly care to know anything about their birth parents, and haven’t made any effort to seek them out. they were adopted when they were two years old, so they retain some vague memories of the orphanage, but they can’t speak swedish anymore.

h i s t o r y

places lived

stockholm ( childhood )

tokyo ( childhood )

los angeles / new york city ( childhood )

oxfordshire ( childhood / as a teenager )

mexico city / valley of mexico ( as a teenager )

paris ( to attend the paris opera’s ballet academy, as a teenager )

important / helpful information

being a rockstar’s child had its difficulties and successes. vik was always the coolest child in any given room ( at least, by default ) but she spent most of her childhood in impermanent places: tokyo ( two years while sol & invincible were recording a reunion album ), los angeles and nyc ( whenever her father’s profession demanded it ), oxfordshire with her mother and grandmother, stockholm for a few years post-adoption. they never made many real friends, and cultivated a reputation for being just like silk ( pretty and difficult to hold onto ) over time. they’re used to being alone.

dancing, particularly classical ballet, was their first love. they took their first class in tokyo when they were still very young, and they were good. when she was dancing, vik wasn’t someone else’s child, she was her own person, with her own passions. after their father’s death, their mother became despondent ( especially as the legal battle was lost ) and they needed to get away, so they used some of their talent and a lot of nepotism to audition for the paris opera’s ballet academy ( one of the best in the world. ) not that they’ll admit to the nepotism. from age 12-17 vik lived alone in paris, attending the academy and going by her mother’s maiden name ( bordelais ) in order to deny any connection to their father. 

vik stopped dancing when she was 18, after she moved back in with her mother after her grandmother’s death ( without her, her mother would have been completely alone, so it was necessary, and repayment for the five years of freedom she had been afforded. ) but dancing remains their first, and currently only, love, and she still does it. just not under the eyes of any teacher.

their gender expression is hyper feminine ( lots of glitter and neon ) but this doesn’t mean they’re a woman. vik identifies as demigender ( specifically a demiwoman / demigirl ) and came to the realisation that she was not fully comfortable with her identity was a girl for the first time after her father’s death. they don’t particularly care to explain it more than “you can be feminine without being female.” anyone who comes into proximity of her is aware of her pronouns and identification. 

they didn’t want to go to providence. when they were applying, they were disgusted by the enormous wealth and privilege that surrounded them ( nevermind how often she uses hers ) and found it repulsive. but providence was the best school and the easiest to bribe, and in the end, the college was very, very far from mexico city.

in their first semester, they mostly kept to themself, keeping their head down so no one would ask questions about who they were or where they came from. but in her second semester, vik started performing again: she had a third story window, a highly fuckable toned body, and she missed ballet. egged on enough times by partygoers struggling through snow or melt, they would take to their window, a silhouette of a person, smooth bare skin and mystery. performing became parties. parties became more parties. being a partygoer became being sol invictus’ child.

they’re in a constant state of reinvention. are they a good student, or just rich and the child of someone famous ? does she like the endless bacchanalia and orgiastic weekdays, or is it all she knows at this school ? what the fuck is vik going to do with themself after graduating with the degree they don’t care about ? don’t ask.

tldr no one understands what she’s doing, let alone her. & they have a reputation as the person to go to for a party.

c o n n e c t i o n s  ( q u i c k f i r e )

champagne prince(ss): someone vik parties with, possibly a procurer of illicit substances, they have a soft spot ( possibly romantic ) for them

twisted sibling: horribly toxic relationship that consists mostly of egging each other on and fucking each other up 

cheat sheet: vik doesn’t like to study, so they’re her go-to “study partner.” aka, the person she bribes to help her ( aka.... write her papers for her )

invincible ? don’t know them: someone who’s a fan of vik’s father’s band / knows all the gossip and is intrigued by why it was like to grow up as sol’s child

no danes allowed: international kids club ? ( aside: idk what citizenship vik even has lol ? i just realised this ! )

p l o t s 

cause of you, now my heart is so icy ( former lover / enemy / angst / pining / fuck it )

vik’s first real relationship, started at providence, probably in second year ? very intense, ended really, really badly ( think public shouting matches. ) occasionally, always, in moments of weakness, they miss this person immensely, and considering going back / taking them back. she doesn’t even remember why it ended in the first place, at this point. ( but some part of vik also knows it will end in the same fiery crash if they try again. )

this could also be platonic because losing friends ? painful.

gave me something to believe in  ( member of or close to / fascinated by the sun’s chosen children cult )

for the most part, the cult that their mother is certain played a role in killing their father hasn’t played a role in vik’s life in years ( beside camille aaland’s refusal to say its name of the name of its leader. ) but new york is a big place, and the internet is strange and vast, so this plot involves someone who is a member of, or close to someone who is a member of, or is interested in the sun’s chosen children ( a “self help group” dedicated to spiritual healing and the abandonment of modern medicine, in actuality a cult. ) vik still carries a lot of resentment for what they did to her mother and some small part of them fears the chosen children. so living / partying / studying in close proximity to someone who is involved with them is probably not going to end well.

don’t search me in here, i’m already gone baby ( “perfect match” / counterpart / mystery )

someone vik is highly interested in ( platonically / romantically / sexually / whatever, 22 year olds are dumb ). they feel like every time they try to get close to this person, they slip away, which is something vik has a lot of practice doing herself. she doesn’t like it being turned back on her, and she’s starting to run out of patience for them.

... but not yet. 

i ain’t ever gonna settle ( patron / private shows / throwing parties so one person will come / ideal / disaster in the making )

dancing is such a big part of vik’s life, and stopping their dance career may be one of the few things they actually regret. this person is vik’s “dance partner” and “patron”, someone who always encourages her to dance for / with them ( sometimes in private, wink, but as always this could be platonic ) and whose approval she craves for no reason she could name. they’re stumbling towards being dependent on this person, and it’s not going to end well, but for right now, it’s passionate and full of feelings and admiration and divine adoration. 

[zoldyckangel]

May I have an A-Z for Kurapika, please? ☺️💜

There were so many requests asking for Kurapika A-Z but here it is! I finally came around to posting it. (Sorry for the wait)

A = Aftercare: Kurapika is genuine, gentle, kind, and caring for his s/o his main concern is always his s/o. He cleans his s/o up well before himself even if he’s exhausted and wants to go bed. Then after he is done cleaning himself up, he does a once around the house. He checks the windows, the doors, every room in the house, and then he would go back to his s/o. He would crawl into bed with his s/o placing a kiss on their forehead and say a soft “I love you” before cuddling up next to her. If his s/o is still awake he would probably let them rest their head on his chest as they both fall asleep.He enjoys being the big spoon if they cuddle because he had the need to protect them due to his past sometimes his s/o would have to rub his forearm telling him they’ll be alive in the morning because he might squeeze her too tight to his chest.

B = Body part: Kurapika loves his own eyes on himself because to him there very special that he even has them.They are a reminder of his past and his people and he would hope his partner will like them instead of being frightened by them like the townspeople near his homeland. On his partner he loves everything about them, they don’t have a fault on them. He’s a body worshiper for sure.

C = Cum: Pretty thin and doesn’t have much substance to it, isn’t really all that sticky either. Comes out all at once and he may whimper a little when he comes because he lets all his guard down since to him sex is making love, a time when he can be vulnerable. He cums a lot because he goes lengthy times without sex and only initiates sexual contact with his s/o on special days. When he is making love he doesn’t mind a mess so he will cum on his s/o’s abdomen, chest, back, or even their face but he will always reserve the final decision to his s/o because he wants to please them first before himself.

D = Dirty Secret: He won’t say anything since he’s too embarrassed to but he really likes it when his partner leaves love bites and hickeys on his neck and chest. It gets him really turned on too, maybe it’s the pain or maybe it’s just the fact his s/o leaving physical proof of their claim on him. He will return the favor too only if his s/o wants them. He would never do anything they didn’t like or leave the mark in a visible place if she is a working girl.

E = Experience: He’s fairly new to the world of sex other than having done it one or two times before in the past to relieve stress. He’s much more focused on his objective than anything else and the one or two times before was with his clients. They were both rich older women who were lonely and they had to propositioned him several times before he agreed to.

F = Favourite Position: He enjoys his partner riding him so he favors the cowgirl position. He also likes the face-off position. If you don’t know what that it’s when you sit on a chair with your partner facing you and straddles you so they can ride up and down on you. The reason he likes to be on the bottom he wants his partner to have full control and also enjoys watching his s/o ride him, seeing their face and body flushed and sleek with sweat is a treat to Kurapika.

G = Goofy: He usually takes sex much more seriously but if something funny were to happen to expect him to laugh, it would be a soft chuckle that would escape his throat. He would apologize to his s/o afterwards and ask them for his forgiveness but he would make sure his s/o knew that he thought they were being cute and he wasn’t ridiculing them. His laughter is usually infectious so his partner can never really get mad at him for long.

H = Hair: He normally doesn’t bother with shaving his sex as he focuses on shaving other parts of his body like his facial hair or armpits. It comes in light blonde though and it’s not really unruly. He keeps it well groomed actually.

I = Intimacy: He’s usually really intimate when it comes to sex since he loves his partner. If his love confessions don’t cut it during sex, his eyes flashing scarlet will be sure to inform his partner how much he loves them. His partner would know when his eyes flashed red it meant he was experiencing an intense emotion. If he doesn’t love his partner in bed he will still be intimate with them and give them gentle touches.

J = Jack Off: Since he normally used to repressing his sexual needs he masturbates fairly often but he feels disgusted with himself afterwards. Only when he’s completely alone he will do it. He likes doing it in the shower to avoid any messes. It usually just starts off as a few strokes then it progresses from there.

K = Kink: Has a thing for the master/slave kink he always wanted to try. Let’s just say those chains come in handy for such a kink if he ever does try it. He even uses them for bondage if he’s feeling in the right mood for it. Other than that he’s pretty vanilla.

L = Location: He the type who requires a bed but his s/o might be able to sway him to make love in different spots but he prefers a bed since its proper to him. He also likes doing in a chair.

M = Motivation: It motivates him if his s/o touches his hair a lot if they’re in a private spot or if they are talking, having a nice and pleasant conversation about the future with lots of eye contact and small touches.

N = NO: He really vanilla, he won’t do anything weird well mostly because he doesn’t know anything since he pretty innocent. He also won’t do anything that will cause a lot of harm to his s/o because he finds it disgusting and he finds people who do such things disgusting as well.

O = Oral: Well, since he still inexperience he would be clumsy and would need the guidance of his s/o when going down on her. But he would aim to please his s/o listening to every noise they made and what he was doing when they praised him or said they felt good.

P = Pace: He goes at a slow and sensual pace to make sure his partner is feeling everything. Plus he would rather have it be an intimate thing rather than just going at it at a fast pace and rushing the pleasure. If his s/o asks him to go faster then he will oblige. 

Q = Quickie: He’s not really into quickies as he much rather take his time with his partner. He doesn’t like the idea of being rushed as he’s not sure if he can satisfy his partner in that amount of time he has. His top priority is his partner’s pleasure over his own.

R = Risk: He’s willing to explore anything his partner is into, within reason that is. He won’t do anything that can harm his partner bad but he will do minor things like spanking with his hand or bondage and such if that’s what they want.

S = Stamina: He has a lot of stamina since he doesn’t have sex often so once he does he could go all night but he will be considerate of his partner and stop once he sees there getting tired but he at least wants to go 2-3 rounds with them to feel satisfied.

T = Toy: He’s not big on toys but he does have oils and lubes to use but if his partner wants a certain toy he will get it for them and use it on them.

U = Unfair: He’s not the type to be unfair about anything relating to sex if anything it’s his partner being playful and teasing during sex.

V = Volume: He’s not really loud during sex. His voice sounds really soft during sex actually. Soft sounding moans and grunts are normally what you hear from him. His voice will get a bit louder if you do something he really likes.

W = Wild Card: He always asks for his partner’s consent before doing anything. He always would want to double check to see if they’re ok with it. He would never want to force them into anything.

X = X-Ray: He’s 4 and a half inches long and 3 inches around. There’s no curve but there are a few prominent veins visible that are really sensitive. His most sensitive part of him there is the underside of the head.

Y = Yearning: His sex drive is average and he often represses it if he does feel like having sex. It sexually frustrates him but he does it nonetheless.

Z = ZZZ: He will fall asleep after knowing for sure his partner is content and satisfied about everything. He likes falling asleep face to face with his s/o for some reason.

[heatherfield]

Okay, here’s to finally finishing this meme from @dreamlikemusings. :D

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice). In the show or the fandom? Well, it’s kind of the same: more love for Archie, Ruby, and Neal (“Once Upon a Time”).

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of? “Mind Games” by Leagues for Swanfire (Emma and Neal in OUAT).

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). I have so many ideas and WIPs so it’s hard to pick randomly, but right now my faves are my pioneer AU that focuses on Red Cricket but will include Mad Whale and Swanfire and possibly Hooked Queen (and Snowing is there already and Rumbelle). I also love the high school AU with Mad Whale and Red Cricket (and Swanfire and Snowing and eventually Rumbelle). TBH, I’m too scared to invent a new AU ‘cause then I’ll want it, too.

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why. Ummmmm... I haven’t intentionally abandoned a fandom. I used to be really into making things for BBC’s “Robin Hood” but I haven’t done much in awhile.

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? SO MANY. But... I’ll have to say The Doctor and Donna Noble in “Doctor Who”.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged) Umm... I headcanon that Archie is a bit ecclectic and has a lot of creative hobbies. He plays the violin (and probably the clarinet, given it being in his office on the show). I think he also likes to draw. I think his home is probably pretty cluttered and he’s probably not there much.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? Yup—too many. And most of them are way off canon now, haha.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites. Elizabeth Woodville from “The White Queen”—she’s beautiful and badass and will fight for her family. (Rebecca Ferguson was amazing in that role.) Rory Williams from “Doctor Who”—he doesn’t get enough credit for his quiet strength and bravery and how he’ll go to the ends of the earth universe existence for his family. Lagertha from “Vikings”—she’s gorgeous and badass and... also loves her family. Huh.

V - Which character do you relate to most? Jane Bennet? Fanny Price? Not sure. :D

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom. The forced romance—especially when unhealthy behaviours are framed as romantic. I HATE IT. Especially when there’s no substance and they have to tell each other how much they love each other 24/7, lest we forget.

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom. A couple that starts out snarking at each other (possibly with a history) and yet has to work together and realizes they make a great team and eventually realizes they still love each other... (Bet you think I’m talking about Swanfire but this is also totally ROBIN AND MARIAN. So I think I have a type.) Basically I’m a sucker for a relationship that has a logical development and there’s chemistry and they are healthy and support each other and they have more to do than just make goo-goo eyes at each other.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)? Hmmmm good question. I see quite a bit of “Bates Motel” from @boleyngirl39. Right now there’s a lot of “Wonder Woman” on my dash so I feel like I know a lot about that. And... can’t think of another at the moment.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.) Ah this is too open-ended for me, I don’t even know where to start! Except to say, for all the crap there is in fandom, there are also amazing people and I’m so glad to be a part of it. (And it’s so lovely being in a small fandom where you can just ignore the drama. :P)

Taken from the “Fandom Alphabet” meme.

[ficsforfangirls]

A Carry On Dictionary: Letter M

Letter A     |     Letter B     |      Letter C     |      Letter D     |     Letter E

Letter F (Rated: M)     |     Letter G     |     Letter H     |     Letter I     |     Letter J

Letter K     |      Letter L     |     Letter M     |     Letter N     |     Letter O

Letter P     |     Letter Q     |     Letter R     |     Letter S     |     Letter T    

Letter U     |      Letter V     |     Letter W (Trigger Warnings)     |      Letter X

Letter Y     |     Letter Z

AO3 with the whole collection <3

Summary: There’s no good summary for this one - Simon wears mascara sometimes, okay?

Mascara, {ma-skar-uh}

A substance used as a cosmetic to color eyelashes and eyebrows

“How long have you been doing this?” Baz asks with as much chill as he can manage. It isn’t even that he needs to stay calm because he’s freaking out, or that he’s startled and uncomfortable. Mostly, it’s really fucking hot and seeing Simon in make-up is definitely a new kink.

Simon shrugs his shoulders, “I do it for the Halloween parties at work. After Micah died, I guess, was the first time. Penny was really upset that she doesn’t have any girl friends so I figured that I was her gay friend so…”

“How fucking stereotypical, you fucking sod,” Baz scoffs angrily. Of course Simon would make that comment; of fucking course Simon would offer to cross dress to make someone feel better. All he can think about is the fact that middle-aged Simon looks like mid-thirties Simon still, and he’s decided to use that youth to cross-dress as Penny’s best gal pal. Baz is pretty sure that he’s dead.

He doesn’t say anything else, though, because he listens as Simon explains that he and Penny learned to wear make-up the right way. They go shopping for beautiful sundresses together all the time, apparently, and Simon has learned that he really likes to wear low wedge heels. “I feel a bit magical, like I never lost the power I had at Watford.”

Baz wedges his tongue between his fang and his bottom tooth to prevent a groan from erupting without his permission. Simon is putting on mascara, and since Baz is gay, he didn’t really ever notice how sexy mascara could be. He has to keep looking away from Simon as he continues to apply his make-up for afternoon tea with Penny. “We’ll have to go out sometime. When you’re dressed up, I mean.”

“I’m afraid you’ll be straight afterwards,” Simon laughs, “So I’m going to have to say – hard no.” And Baz laughs too, because how couldn’t he? Finding out his husband is cross-dressing for his best friend to help her cope with the loss of her husband in his midlife is sort of like a bad joke. Regardless, he knows that Simon is doing this with sincerity, and probably an awkward amount of innocence, and Baz can support this. In fact, it’s nice seeing Simon confident and happy after such a troubled childhood.

[zachwinthrop]

@alexandraburton-x

       the lionhearted centerfold counteracted, endeavoring to siphon vines of disgrace & remorse from alexandra’s throat. she was fascinated by faith’s N E R V E, desperate to pyramid to her insurmountable cachet. perhaps that was the reason he kept her close at hand – she ( t r i e d ) to be the type of girl he wanted, that she presumed he needed. faith was the archangel that could unchain the morose prince from his sinister necrosis. maybe zach believed it – that there was some small chance she could salvage him from the flames that threatened to consume him, but everyone knew the only menace was himself ( & occasionally the tiny, caramel whorled strumpet that sat beside him ). her criticism elicited a delicious laugh from between chanel lacquered petals, her palms flattening against cutting marble as she cutback, ❝ aren’t you embarrassed? you’re tryingS O hard and for what? at least i know my place. maybe it’s time for you to learn yours. ❞ she called on her pitiful boyfriend to come to her rescue, but he was ( h o l l o w ), imbibed by the numerous serpentine substances that coursed through his veins.         alex guided her focus to the barren sovereign, disharmonized by the dissidencehe’d caused. she’d hoped he choose his words carefully for she was already in rare form. there was a fire mulling inside of her, enkindling a calidity that almost foreign. something was changing. the blaze purled from her stomach, branching through her limbs and to the tips of her fingers. he played it safe, abandoning the cataclysm he’d so insidiously devised – leaving H E R to clean up the remnants. he whisked away another platinum blonde, sallow tresses fading into the crowd. alexandra urged her shoulders upward, ❝typical. you know what? i’m starting to think you and i can both do so much better, hope. ❞ she erected her spine, planning yves saint laurent soles against the tile. ❝ ry, ❞ she mused, extended her curves to place a ( c h u m m y ) kiss upon his cheek. ❝ i’ll see you around. ❞ she moved from behind the booth, halcyon halos fixed upon the door to the outside lounge. she paraded through the masses, her lips twitching softly upon the recognition of defectively inked limbs. alexandra shoved him, hard, but continued advancing, peeking over her shoulder, ❝ happy birthday, you fucking loser. ❞

        a hum of nausea churned in his stomach, twisting knots in his frail paunch. zach’s devastating lack of empathy or regard for anyone but himself had begun to fizzle - he could see through the transparent surface, his veil of inebriation stripped away. anger ebbed somewhere inside him. or perhaps frustration, ( d i s q u i e t ). his fingers twitched at his sides, jaw flexing. he was itching to ruin something just to get the inevitable out of the way. child - like agitation riddled the thing in his chest. it was HIS birthday. why couldn’t he just have a free pass to act however he wanted, with whoever he wanted, just for one night? ryan caught up to him, pinning zach’s shoulders between his hands. ❝ like i said: really bad, or really bad? ❞ a snarl purled in his throat. he shrugged out of ryan’s grip, stumbling backward. ❝ i don’t fucking know. i’m so... ❞ ryan’s defense immediately built around his intoxication, flushing out what he could in case he had to step in. zach saw it darken his eyes, wary of what he would say next, wary that it might be ‘angry’. zach shook his head. ❝ whatever. i can’t fucking deal with faith right now. i just wanted to have fun. ❞ ryan thrust the blonde toward him, her arms curling around his waist on impact. he glanced down at her. ❝ then have fun, man, ❞ ryan offered flippantly. luke whooped behind him, a palm walloping his shoulder. zach smiled, blush muscle sliding between husks, inked limbs wreathing around her shoulders.         his oasis was promptly shattered. he stumbled backward, only salvaged by the arms of near - by groupies. zach blinked, a brunet CATACLYSM striding away from him. he almost laughed - he could feel the bane of the obsidian flower blooming between his ribs ravage his senses. fine. he clambered to his feet and curled wide palms into the blonde’s disheveled whorls, urging his liquor - deluged sepals upon hers. she gasped into his mouth and he felt sick. he felt perverse. but it didn’t matter - if alex saw, she’d either S C R E A M in his face or conclude they were at war, and either was an improvement from dismissal. 

[diary-of-a-closet-writer]

such a boy

1 year, 9 months, 2 weeks & 4 days and it was all so fleeting

It’s quite hilarious really. You devote so much time and effort into just a short period, then it all disappears. For what? Brief joy. Touch of fun. The taste of feeling w a n t e d. Every girl seeks it. It’s addicting. Almost like a poison. I fought it for as long as I could. Then I just decided to allow it. It wasn’t that I gave in. It was more like I accepted it. I let myself endure it. I’m glad I did, because now I know that I gave just enough and not an ounce more. I wasn’t immune, but I sure as hell was my own antidote. 

I learned something about myself. I want more. More than just this happiness I create on my own. It has just been me for so long. I function well with just me. I know how I work. I know what I like. I know what I can withstand and what I can’t. I know my limits. I know me. So damn well. And I’m content, 95% of the time. Cause lets be real here - no one can be happy 100% of the time. I’m proud of what I’ve done. Created. Protected. But then there is this hole. This fucking aching hole that I know I eventually need want to fill. Not with just anyone. Someone who I’m eager to share everything with. My life. My world. All that is me. Someone who I want to there with me every step of success. Failure. Growth. Challenge. and the little things in between. I don’t want to feel doubt or second guess his intentions. That’s when I’ll know. That’s when I’m willing to give up everything cause I’ll be safe. Only this time, I have someone protecting me. Not because I can’t protect myself, but because I allow him to. 

I was told that it’s not normal to be alone. People tend to want to be around others. Have multiple relationships. Friendships. Connections. No one ever wants to feel alone in this world. I believe it. To an extent. Physically, I’m alone for a majority of everyday, but I never really ever considered myself alone. I always felt so lucky. Lucky to have people who care. Cherish. Love. Encourage. Guide. and most important, people who help me heal. I don’t need the everyday conversations or hourly text messages. I don’t survive off likes on IG or FB. I am perfectly okay sitting in my studio apartment for an entire weekend without speaking to anyone. Cause I know when I decide to get out and be with people who matter, they will be there. When I decided to pick up the phone and talk to someone i haven’t talked to for months, it will be like no time passed. And I’m so, so grateful for that. I will never take it for granted. 

Q U A L I T Y  VS.  Q U A N T I T Y

I don’t need every hour. I don’t need every day. I don’t even need every weekend. All I wanted was quality. Quality time. Quality effort. Quality thoughts. Quality words. Quality conversations. Quality you. And then I realized, I was dealing with a fake. Like most things in LA - shiny exteriors don’t really equal substances on the inside. Perhaps if I cared to dig more. Perhaps if I spent more time. Perhaps if I didn’t have such high standards. But then again, why would I ever settle? I don’t ask for more. I don’t for much at all. All I want is what you give from the start and to match everything I’m willing to give. 

Sometimes when you get everything you ask for, don’t except it to be easy to keep. If it was easy, then you wouldn’t want it. You only get to keep everything you want because you work hard to deserve it. So before you set your standards high and refuse to settle, make damn sure you’re willing to work to keep it once you get it. Cause the exceptional don’t tolerate mediocre effort. And they sure as hell won’t settle for you. 

Say you need more space What are you, an astronaut? You've got the whole universe So what you coming around here for? Said you need more air Are you underwater now? We're not even in that deep Acting like you're gonna drown

You say you need more me What, am I a toy again? You play me like you're all I got But I ain't hanging by your threads You say you need love Yeah, we all do And I wanted to if you let me

[rigbygigby-blog]

A to Z List of Medical Diseases, Disorders, Common Medical Conditions Explained

A to Z List of Medical Diseases, Disorders and Medical Conditions Below is an alphabetical list of diseases with information on a wide variety of common medical conditions, diseases, disorders, syndromes, illnesses, and injuries. Common Medical Conditions Explained The A to Z index of medical diseases comprises links to topics with information about that particular health condition. The information included in these topics comprises symptoms, causes, diagnosis, prevention, and treatment measures for the respective condition. Common medical conditions that are covered include communicable and infectious diseases, common medical illnesses and injuries, mental disorders, genetic disorders, skin diseases, blood disorders, lung diseases, metabolic diseases, and various other health disorders. Majority of the links provided below direct you to topics and articles on different mental and physical health conditions, including asthma, cancer, arthritis, diabetes, epilepsy, eating disorders, substance abuse, sexually transmitted diseases, ailments associated with pregnancy, childhood, and much more. However, this online medical reference is for educational purposes only, and is not meant to substitute the advice of a medical professional. A to Z index: A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z A BCDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWY More information: Also see Common Medical Abbreviations and List of Medical Terminology Oldest Known Diseases Among Humans A diseases refers to any condition that causes disruption of the normal functioning of the body. Some diseases are newly developed due to various technological advancements, whereas, there exist a few others which have plagued... Foods to Avoid When Suffering from G6PD Deficiency People with G6PD deficiency need to avoid certain food items like peanuts, legumes, products that contain menthol, etc., which trigger reactions. Here is a list of the foods that should be refrained from in your diet. A List of Incurable Diseases Progressive diseases such as cancer, HIV/AIDS, and Alzheimer's fall under the list of terminal or incurable diseases. The following Buzzle post elaborates more on the diseases that cannot be cured. Signs and Symptoms of Exposure to Agent Orange Gastrointestinal problems, chronic conditions like diabetes and Graves' disease have been associated with the exposure to Agent Orange. This Buzzle article elaborates more on the signs and symptoms that have been linked to the... What are Constitutional Symptoms? Fever, weight loss, body pain, headache, and sweating are often referred to as constitutional symptoms. They affect the whole body, hence diagnosis merely on the basis of these symptoms is not possible. Hypergammaglobulinemia: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment Hypergammaglobulinemia is a hereditary disorder that affects the immune system. In this condition, there is excess production of a specific type of antibodies, which damages the immune system considerably. Read the following Buzzle... Locked-in Syndrome Explained Locked-in syndrome is a rare neurological disorder wherein the voluntary muscles of the body are paralyzed, with the exception of the muscles that control the movement of the eyes. The following Buzzle write-up provides information... Blood Vessel Disease Blood vessel disease occurs when the blood vessels constrict. Narrowing down of blood vessels results in decreased transport of oxygen-rich blood to the different parts of the body. This article provides information on the causes,... Contagious Diseases Contagious diseases are spread from one person to the other in several ways. Presented below is brief information and a list of contagious or transmittable diseases. Internal Bleeding Symptoms Internal bleeding calls for immediate medical attention, as this condition can lead to life-threatening complications at times. This Buzzle article dwells on the causes and symptoms of this condition, which can affect some major or... List of Contagious Diseases The common flu, smallpox, strep throat... the list of contagious diseases is quite endless. A comprehensive list of the most common contagious diseases follows in this article. Burst Blood Vessel Fortunately, blood vessels that burst are small and fragile. But if a blood vessel bursts in the brain, then it may be lead to a life-threatening condition. Floppy Baby Syndrome Floppy baby syndrome is the term that is commonly used to denote a medical condition called hypotonia. Read on to know more about the same. Oral Mucositis Oral mucositis is actually an inflammation and ulceration, which occurs in the mouth and even in the throat. It is a common consequence of cancer treatment. Let us throw some more light on this topic. Symptoms of Toxins in the Body Wherever we go, we come across various kinds of toxins. Have we ever thought that our body can also accumulate toxins due to various factors? This article contains information on toxins and the signs exhibited by the body, in case... Weakness in Hands Weakness in hands that restrict normal movements can certainly put limitations on our day-to-day activities. A firm grip is a distant dream with weak hands. Blue Fingernails Blue fingernails is a medical condition which requires proper diagnosis and treatment for complete cure. Read this article to know the causes and possible treatment for blue fingernails. Trigeminal Neuralgia Surgery Options Surgery is the last option used to treat any disorder, and the same thing is done in severe cases of trigeminal neuralgia. Read on to know all about surgery options and complications of trigeminal neuralgia. How to Treat Pyogenic Granuloma Pyogenic granuloma is also referred to as a pregnancy tumor. It is an oral disease which first shows up in the form of a tissue overgrowth around the mouth. It is sparked off by local irritation, hormonal factors, and physical... Post Polio Syndrome This is a condition that develops in 30 to 50% of polio survivors, years after their recovery from poliomyelitis. Here is a brief overview about post polio syndrome. Venous Insufficiency Symptoms The venous insufficiency symptoms are noticeable enough to pinpoint where treatment for this problem is imperative. Find out here about the causes, symptoms, and varied treatment options, for the same... Common Contagious Diseases Common contagious diseases are spread through an infection by bacteria, viruses, fungus as well as protozoan agents. These contagious diseases strike people of all ages, from a new-born to a mature adult. Let us have a look at some... Musculoskeletal Disorders Diseases can affect any part of the body and can have a number of causes. The activities involved in everyday work and how you treat your body during working hours can take a toll on your skeletal as well as muscular system. Read on... Hollow Viscus Injury What are hollow visceral organs? What happens when one suffers from a hollow viscus injury? Scroll down to learn about causes, symptoms and treatment of such injuries. Non-contagious Diseases The diseases that are not transferred from one person to another are called non-contagious diseases. Most of these diseases result from an unhealthy lifestyle, and are responsible for 60% of the deaths in the world today. Non-infectious Diseases Non-infectious diseases in humans cannot be transferred from an infected person to a healthy person. The following article will cover the noninfectious disease list that will help you know more about these non-communicable... Types of Waterborne Diseases Water contaminated by harmful micro-organisms and pollutants leads to various different types of waterborne diseases and infections. The following article throws some light on the various different types of waterborne pathogens and... Sick Building Syndrome Symptoms Do you experience a general sick feeling when located in a particular building? And does this last only as long as you are in or near that building? Then it could be sick building syndrome that's causing this. Read on to know what... Ruptured Viscus A ruptured viscus denotes an abnormal opening in a hollow internal organ. It is an emergency condition that requires immediate medical attention. Incubation Period

Most are unaware of what is known as incubation period. It is basically associated with the exposure of the human body to pathogens or other abnormal changes like radiation. Know what is it exactly from the below write up. List of Common Diseases There is not a single human in this world who has never fallen prey to a disease. In this article, you will find a list of common diseases, which has been the main reason for deaths and various other health complications affecting... Rickettsia Symptoms Rickettsia is a malefic bacteria which infects and causes several serious ailments, such as spotted fever, typhus, scrub typhus, etc. Its symptoms should be considered seriously to be able to diagnose the specific infection and... Perforated Viscus A perforated viscus is a life-threatening condition, whose treatment, if delayed, could prove to be fatal. Read through the following Buzzle article to know about the symptoms, causes, and treatment options of this condition. Sick Building Syndrome What is sick building syndrome? What causes it? What are its symptoms? Is this building-related illness curable? Read on to find out. Brachial Neuritis Brachial neuritis is a term which refers to the inflammation of the nerves of the brachial plexus. This condition can be caused by several factors and it can produce a number of symptoms, which are discussed in this Buzzle article. Thoracic Outlet Syndrome Symptoms The symptoms of thoracic outlet syndrome occur due to compression of nerves arising from the brachial plexus. It may also occur due to the compression of blood vessels in this region. This article provides some information on the... Causes of Lymphocele Lymphocele is collection of lymph fluid in a sac or cavity. These are caused due to injuries and major surgeries. Buzzle gives some brief information on other causes of lymphocele. Ascites Symptoms Ascites is the accumulation of fluid in the abdomen. Read on to know all about the various ascites symptoms one needs to identify so as to diagnose this condition. Abdominal Surgery Recovery During recovery period, vigilance by the doctors, hospitals, and the affected person's family members is highly essential. After the surgery, when he/she is sent home, it is extremely important to take precautions for a speedy... Rectal Prolapse Treatment Treatment for this medical condition generally involves use of surgical procedures, to reattach the displaced rectum to its normal position. For minor cases, following a healthy diet and use of stool softeners may help to resolve... Barrett's Syndrome Barrett's syndrome is a disorder in which the tissues lining the esophagus get inflamed, due to the irritation caused by acid reflux. It also involves replacement of esophageal cells by those lining the intestines. This condition... Broken Blood Vessels Dismissing broken blood vessels in any part of the body as a harmless medical condition is not a wise thing to do, as there are chances that it may be a symptom of some life-threatening medical condition. Epidemic Vs. Pandemic Most of us think that epidemic and pandemic are synonymous. But, they are not. There is a slight difference between these two terms. This article explains the difference between the two. Choking on Eating Food: Causes and Treatment Choking due to food is a serious problem and can lead to death as well. It can happen to both children as well as adults. In this article, you will know more about what causes it and a few treatment options. Ulnar Nerve Surgery Ulnar nerve surgery is carried out when other non-surgical treatments do not work, and the compression on the nerve does not reduce. Also, if the doctor notices that there is muscle wasting, this surgery gains all the more... Heat Related Illness Over exposure to heat can make you severely sick. It is imperative that you take certain precautionary measures to keep yourself hydrated and shielded from the heat. Parasites in the Human Body A parasite is an organism that lives on/in an animal or plant and derives its nutrition from the body it is attached to. Parasites also attack human hosts and such a biological invasion is responsible for many diseases. Read on to... Thoracic Outlet Syndrome: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment The signs of thoracic outlet syndrome (TOC) include pain and abnormal nerve sensations in the neck, shoulder and/or hand. It is a serious medical problem which needs early diagnosis. This article provides some information about... Typhus Symptoms and Treatment Typhus refers to a group of infectious diseases caused by the bacteria of the genus 'Rickettsia'. There are several types of typhus that usually cause fever, skin rash, headaches, and muscle pain. Find out more about the symptoms... Raynaud's Syndrome: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment Raynaud's syndrome is a disorder in which the blood vessels of the fingers and the toes constrict, leading to the skin turning pale or patchy blue to red. The usual triggers of the condition are cold and emotional stress. Malignant Hyperthermia (MHS) Malignant hyperthermia refers to a life-threatening response when a person is exposed to specific anesthetic drugs. To know more about this condition, read on... Histoplasmosis Histoplasmosis is the result of a fungal infection that predominantly affects the lungs. The following article provides a brief overview of this disease. Anal Fissures The presence of anal fissures is a common ailment which is caused due to a tear or wound in the ligaments of the lower rectum. It affects both men and women. In this article we shall look at the causes, treatment and prevention... Dumping Syndrome The stomach facilitates the reception and storage of ingested food, and in a way, it functions as a reservoir! Gastric motility is regulated by the enteric nervous system, and the condition, in which, this control is affected, is... What is Brucellosis? Domesticated animals are perilous when they develop brucellosis. The prevention is exacting and treatment is cumbersome. Read on for more.