#and i know that's bc i'm an insane person who has to check if every detail that can be publicly found is correct

[likelylarks]

xx

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Strawberry Shortcake

♥ masterlist | request rules

♥ pairing: oscar piastri x fem!baker!reader

♥ synopsis: your mother owned a bakery in australia and oscar, your childhood best friend was your favorite regular until he had to move away for his racing career. you've since become head chef and people are beginning to wonder where or who oscar got his impeccable baking skills from.

♥ smau + written - fc: women on pinterest - as always none of the pictures are mine

♥ warnings: swearing and suggestive jokes !!!

♥ a/n: literal tooth rotting fluff

-Australia, 2024-

liked by user26, user7, user14, and 18,302 more

y/n.pastries getting ready for spring with some new cupcakes <3

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user14 looks yummy 😋

yoursister do I get a family discount?

yourusername no 🥰

user7 face card is insane

user21 looks good! i’ll stop by and pick up some things soon 😊

user25 you’re gorgeous

user23 your cupcakes never miss

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Webs Most Searched Questions-

"Is Lando Norris..." he peeled off the thin white strip. "Related to Chuck Norris?"

"Yes," Lando jokingly admitted, gazing straight into the camera as Oscar tossed the card aside.

The team walked up to the two men and handed Lando another card of questions to ask his teammate.

"Does Oscar Piastri... really like pastries? I dunno, do you Oscar?"

"I do like pastries," Oscar nodded. "I like making them more, though."

"You know how to bake?" Lando questioned.

"An old friend taught me." he admitted.

"You’ll have to bring some treats in for the team one day, then."

"Maybe one day I will. Cupcakes are my specialty."

"Oh are they?" Lando raised a brow. "I'm gonna need some proof of that."

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by landonorris, mclarenracingf1, logansargeant, and 1,482,053 more

oscarpiastri made some cupcakes for the team like i promised

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user2 oh he cooked 😮‍💨

user1 the piping >>>

user3 i’m not surprised that he’s good at piping

user7 he can pipe me any day

user10 OSCAR CAN THROW DOWN

user6 no bc why do those look so good

landonorris i expect you to bring these every day now

user4 now whom exactly did he learn this from

user8 flavor?

oscarpiastri vanilla cupcake with buttercream, some with a lemon custard filling and some without for varied pallets

user9 get this man on a baking show asap

user11 and then Oscar opened a cupcake shop and him and Charles did a Collab birthday cake ice cream

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Your Bakery, March 12-

The golden bell on your bakery’s door chimed late in the afternoon as you swept, getting ready for closing.

Your back was facing the entrance as you spoke up, “Perfect timing. I was just about to lock the door. What can I get for ya?”

“A strawberry shortcake.”

You spun around, recognizing the man’s voice instantly.

It was Oscar.

You hadn’t seen him in about a decade, but you still occasionally took time to follow his racing. You were hoping that one day he’d find his way back to you.

“Hi,” you greeted him with a warm smile.

“Hi.”

“It’s been a while.”

“It has,” he responded, shoving his hands in his pockets.

You reached down to grab the small cake from the cold display case, “You know, your mum reached out to me.”

“She did? What’d she say?”

“Just how she wants us to reconnect and all. She visits me pretty often.”

Oscar hummed, as you set the cake on the counter.

“…To-go?” you asked.

He shook his head no, “Would you like to sit down with me?”

You nodded, plating the treat and walking out from behind the check out. You locked the door and he grabbed two small pink forks, handing one to you as you took a seat across from him.

“My mum, she would uhm…” he stabbed the utensil into the cake. “At every race she got to see in person she’d bring me a pastry from here. She’d make sure to tell me it was made by you and how your business was doing and all. I always performed better when she brought me them, too. It was always nice to know a piece of you was with me everywhere I went.“

You practically melted at the confession.

“That’s really sweet,” you dragged the tongs of your fork through some of the icing.

“I see that you’ve made a name for yourself in the Formula 1 baking community.” you both laughed.

“I had a great teacher.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, both taking bites from the cake.

“I’m sorry i didn’t visit sooner,” Oscar apologized.

“I’m just glad you’re here now.”

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 23,847 more

y/n.pastries race weekend

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oscarpiastri ferrari cookies really?

y/n.pastries i’m making mclaren ones too relax

charles_leclerc @/oscarpiastri is that any way to treat your father’s team?

user4 spectacular give me 14 more of em right now

user6 take my money 💳

landonorris so THIS is who taught @/oscarpiastri how to cook 🔥

y/n.pastries perhaps

user3 guys she’s so pretty

user1 @/nicolepiastri what’s the lore here

user8 obsesseddd

user10 hear me out she should sell these at the melbourne circuit

user7 this !!!

liked by oscarpiastri, arthur_leclerc, landonorris, and 100,583 more

nicolepiastri it was about time you two reconnected

tagged; @/oscarpiastri @/y/n.pastries

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oscarpiastri mummm

y/n.pastries 😅

landonorris what's up with that second picture

oscarpiastri no comment

user7 the amount of times i've seen f1 drivers dressed as nintendo characters is uncanny

user4 paul aaron and dino core

user1 AWWWW

user8 this is so cute

logansargeant @/oscarpiastri how come i’ve never heard of this? don't tell me you fumbled this bad

oscarpiastri 😐

✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧

-Australian Grand Prix-

At your bakery Oscar insisted that you attend this year’s Australian Grand Prix. You finally got the privilege of meeting so many amazing people such as Leo the famous paddock puppy and none other than Oscar’s best friend, Logan.

You stood in the Mclaren garage with Oscar’s parents as the team prepped for the race. You brought some cookies for Lando to which he complained that he wouldn’t be able to eat them until after the podium ceremony.

-

The two made their way back to you a few hours later, Lando in p3 and Oscar in p4. Lando snatched the tin of cookies from your hands.

“You know you’re supposed to share that?” you said as he took a seat, devouring the treats, but he just waved you off.

You gave Oscar a hug and he pulled you off to the side.

“So I was thinking… maybe I could take you on a proper date tomorrow?

You smiled, “That sounds great.”

liked by landonorris, logansargeant, georgerussell63, and 1,394,623 more

oscarpiastri morning

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user1 you don’t have to soft launch we all know you’re with y/n

user2 there’s only one person who can make those croissants and it’s y/n

user5 the third picture 😨

user3 she’s so lucky 😭

user4 @/yourusername how does it feel to live MY dream?

georgerussell63 @/alex_albon who takes all the shirtless pictures now

alexalbon still you mate

-F1 Winter Break-

liked by pierregasly, oscarpiastri, f1, and 1,492,053 more

y/n.pastries I am very pleased to announce three new limited additions to the bakery’s menu! Carlos Sainz’ pancakes, Yuki Tsunoda’s Fruit Sando, and the LEC Vanillove ice cream sandwich.

The fans have been dying to try my boyfriend Oscar’s (basic) vanilla buttercream cupcakes, so I’ll be keeping them as a year round pastry.

It has been an honor to work with the four of you <3

tagged; @/carlossainz55 @/yukitsunoda0511 @/charles_leclefc @/oscarpiastri

view comments

oscarpiastri im so proud of you ❤️

y/n.pastries i love you osc

oscarpiastri i love you too

oscarpiastri also my signature cupcake is not “basic”

y/n.pastries whatever you say 😉

user1 guys yuki is slowly starting to accomplish his restaurant dreams

pierregasly no creds?

y/n.pastries for?

pierregasly helping yuki

y/n.pastries yea… no

pierregasly helping charles?

y/n.pastries 😐

user2 yukierre and piarles are so back

user7 the childhood friends to lovers is melting my heart 😩

user8 theyre so adorable it makes me physically ill

user3 i’m pretty sure nicole is jumping up and down right now

oscarpiastri oh don’t worry she is

[goldfades]

★ YOU AND ME, WE'D BE A BIG CONVERSATION─── PB⁵ (part 1/3)

❪ requested -> "paige x famous!reader (singer, actress, up to u) inspired by endgame by ts where p reveals that r is her celeb crush in an interview and a few days later theres a vid of r responding to it saying shes been obsessed w paige lately / its such a big deal bc r has been involved in a lot of romantic drama lately so everyone is kinda iffy abt her rn, causing her to put up a tough guard. but p sees thru the facade when they start talking and allows her to be herself, making r fall even harder 🥹 " ❫ for my disco nonnie!

─ warnings | gossip, a lot of drama and random ass names (sorry i get confused when i don't name them), mention of panic attacks, hurt to comfort, pretty sure nothing else?

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

"Y/N L/N, ONE OF the biggest names right now in the music industry has found herself at the center of yet another romantic scandal involving her ex and now, reportedly a new lover."

The 22-year-old pop sensation, who recently topped the charts with her latest single, was spotted last night leaving an upscale Los Angeles restaurant with actress and heartthrob, Camilla Harrison. The two were seen getting into the same car, sparking rumors of a budding romance.

This sighting comes just weeks after Y/N's highly publicized breakup with fellow musician Lauren Marie, with whom she had a tumultuous on-again, off-again relationship for over two years. The split was reportedly mutual, with both parties citing busy schedules and the pressures of their careers as contributing factors. However, sources close to the couple suggest that Marie was unhappy about Y/N's close friendship with Harrison, which began on the set of her recent music video where Marie made a cameo appearance.

"Y/N and Cam have undeniable chemistry," says an insider. "They've been spending a lot of time together, and it's more than just a professional connection. They're trying to keep things low-key, but it's clear there's something more than friendship between them."

Despite the drama, Y/N continues to thrive professionally. Her upcoming album set to release in the next couple month, is already generating significant buzz. Critics are calling it her most mature work yet, with deeply personal lyrics that reflect her recent experiences.

Meanwhile, Harrison, 26, known for her roles in blockbuster films and her good looks, has remained tight-lipped about the rumors. Her publicist declined to comment, stating that Marie is concentrating on her upcoming film projects.

──

"Okay, next question," the reporter smiled as she scrolled through her phone as Paige gave a tight-lipped smile toward the camera. "Oh! Found a good one, okay. Who is your celebrity crush right now."

"That's easy!" Paige laughed as she glanced toward the reporter. "Y/N L/N, she's beautiful and insanely talented,"

The room filled with laughter as the reporter raised an eyebrow, clearly delighted by the response. "Y/N L/N, huh? That's a popular choice these days, a lot of people are big fans. Have you met her?"

Paige shook her head, her cheeks slightly flushing. "Nah, I wish. But I'm a huge fan of her music. Every song is a masterpiece and I'm not usually into pop,"

"Interesting," the reporter leaned forward, intrigued. "You know, there are rumors about Y/N's love life all the time. How do you feel about all the speculation surrounding her personal life?"

Paige shrugged, maintaining her relaxed demeanor despite the stupid question. "I think it's tough being in the spotlight like that. People forget that celebrities are human too. Everyone deserves a bit of privacy, I'm more interested in her work and what she brings to the music industry rather than whoever she's dating."

The reporter nodded, appreciating Paige's perspective. "Absolutely. It's refreshing to hear someone focus on the artistry rather than the gossip!"

──

"Okay, quick. Who's your celeb crush right now, other than Cam," Bowen Yang, grinned at you, raising an eyebrow as the audience laughed, eagerly awaiting your response.

You laugh (and decide to ignore the comment about Cam), feeling a slight blush creep up your cheeks. "Oh, come on, Bowen, you can't put me on the spot like that!"

Bowen leaned in, his grin widening. "Come on, Y/N, the people want to know!" He pointed to the crowd as they cheered, causing you to put your face in yours hands.

You then take a deep breath, pretending to think hard. "Fine, if I have to choose... I'd say Paige Bueckers. She's incredible on the court, and I've seen some interviews with her ─ she seems like such a cool person."

The audience erupts with loud cheers, causing both you and Bowen to laugh. Bowen's eyes widen, clearly delighted by your answer as he clapped. "Ooh, scandalous! Paige Bueckers, I love that! Have you met her?"

You shake your head, smiling. "No, not yet. But I did see a clip of her saying some really nice things about me recently. It was super sweet."

Bowen's face lights up with excitement. "She was practically gushing over you, this is perfect, we need to make this happen. Maybe you could collab, I don't know how but uh, if anyone could make it happen, it's you."

"Thank you, I think?" You laugh, nodding. "Totally, we'll see what happens."

Bowen turns to the camera, his enthusiasm infectious. "You heard it here first, folks! Y/N and Paige Bueckers, the crossover we never knew we needed but now desperately want!"

The audience erupts in applause and cheers, and you can't help but smile at the idea. Bowen turns back to you, his tone shifting slightly more serious. "Alright, before we wrap up, I have to ask ─ how do you deal with all the attention and rumors about your personal life? It seems like you're constantly in the spotlight."

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, caught off guard by the serious question. "It's um, definitely challenging at times, but I try to focus on the positive aspects. I love making music and my fans. As for the rumors, I just remind myself that I can't control what people say or think. I stay true to myself and the people who really know me, and that's what matters most."

Bowen nods appreciatively. "Wise words, Y/N. And that's why we love you so. Thank you so much for being here tonight."

"Thank you for having me," you reply, genuinely touched by the support.

"And that's Y/N L/N!"

The crowd erupts in cheers as you genuinely smile, happy for the support, waving toward the audience.

──

"Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast I'm Lila, and today we've got a lot to talk about. Y/N L/N is at the center of yet another romantic scandal, and there's even a new twist involving basketball star Paige Bueckers. Let's dive in!" Lila said, her enthusiasm palpable.

"Yaya, so excited," Maya chimed in, adjusting her headphones. "So, Y/N was spotted last night leaving an upscale LA restaurant with actress Cam Harrison. They got into the same car, which has everyone buzzing about a possible new romance."

"Yeah, and this is just weeks after her very public breakup with Lauren, I think that's her name? It's been a whirlwind, to say the least. But honestly, I think Y/N is handling it all pretty well. She's focused on her music, and she's just living her life. What's your take, My?" Lila asked, leaning in slightly.

Maya sighed, her skepticism evident. "I don't know, Lila. I get that she's young and living her life or whatever, but it feels like there's always some new drama with her. First Lauren, now Cam Harrison? It's starting to look like a pattern."

"But that's thing, with being in your early twenties. Figuring out what you want, who you want to be with? I mean, she's also incredibly talented and driven. Her new album is generating a ton of buzz and it hasn't even been released yet," Lila countered, her voice full of admiration.

"Sure, but it seems like she's always entangled in some romantic drama. Maybe it's just the nature of fame or whatever, but it can also come off as messy. And now, with Paige Bueckers gushing about her in that interview, it adds another layer. I just hope she’s not stringing people along," Maya replied, her tone annoyed.

Lila nodded, annoyed at Maya's words but maintaining her supportive stance. "I get where you're coming from, but did you see Paige's reaction? She was genuinely excited about Y/N. It was sweet. Plus, Y/N responded so positively on the SNL interview. I think it shows she's got a good heart and she's just navigating her way through a complicated life!"

Maya hesitated for a moment as she glanced at the camera, then continued. "I mean, look at Taylor Swift. She's known for her string of high-profile relationships and breakups, and it hasn't always been received positively. It feels like Y/N is heading down a similar path- What?"

"Come on, Maya!" Lila glared at her, clearly displeased. "Comparing Y/N to Taylor Swift isn't fair. Taylor's faced a lot of unfair criticism for just living her life and expressing herself through her music. Y/N is her own person, with her own journey. She's navigating her twenties in the spotlight, and that's not easy."

Maya just shrugged as she glanced toward the camera, before adjusting her mic. "Well that got awkward, moving on..."

──── COMMENTS

sela 🐾 | is she wrong though... love her music but why'd paige gotta get involved too? ♡ 108

↳ l/nslover | cause they like each other???

↳ 🦕 | has bro ever heard of a pr relationship 😭

↳ ari! | THEYRE NOT EVEN TOGETHER YET BROOO😭😭😭

sarah™️ | LILA GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE BROOOO 😭😭 i never liked maya tbh this is just a weird ass take ♡ 1.7k

kayla 🎀 | listen as a y/n girly i also understand maya's point of view cause.... shes kinda for the streets ♡ 879

↳ ™️ | dont call yourself a """"" y/n girly """""" if ur gonna say she's for the streets??? the fuck??

⭐️ | i was understanding maya's pov up until she started saying all that taylor swift bullshit, they're two separate artists LET US LIVEEEEEEE ♡ 2k

josie may | hardest watch of the day 🥲 maya u let us down with that dumb ass take

──

"I just kinda... wanna disappear for awhile," you confessed, your voice quiet as you pressed the phone to your ear. "Don't know why this keeps happening, you're the only that can... help me through it. Sorry if I woke you up-"

It happened again ─ over the last couple of months (ever since you'd broken up with Lauren) you'd gotten pretty severe panic attacks. You were told by everyone on your team to just stay off social media and what had you done... exactly the opposite of that.

"No, no, I was awake anyway, promise," Paige's voice echoed through the phone. You heard shuffling through the phone as you sniffled, sighing. "And I don't mind, like at all. I meant what I said, I'm always here for you,"

Your heart swelled as you managed a smile, as tears began to build in your eyes. You and Paige had only been talking a month and she already understood you more than anyone had in what felt like forever. Her steady presence was like an anchor in the storm of your life.

The constant media scrutiny and the aftermath of your breakup with Lauren had left you feeling alone, but Paige’s calming influence was slowly becoming your safe haven.

"I just... I don't know how to deal with all of it. The rumors, the pressure, it's all so overwhelming," you admitted, wiping away the tears that had started to fall. "Half of it, it isn't even true."

"Hey, it's okay, I know, I believe you," Paige's voice was soothing, almost like a warm embrace over the phone. Even the smallest affirmation from Paige made you feel all okay again, even if it was just for the moment.

"You're not alone in this. We can figure it out together, step by step."

That part made your lips twitch up in a smile, feeling yourself relax again. You took a deep breath, feeling a bit of the tension ease from your shoulders. "I just feel like I can't breathe sometimes. Like the walls are closing in, y'know?"

"I get it," Paige replied softly. She'd know about it all too well, she'd been through it herself plenty of times. "Sometimes it helps to focus on the small things. One step at a time, remember? Have you tried any of those breathing exercises I taught you?"

You nodded, even though she couldn't see you. "Yeah, a little. They help, but it’s hard to remember in the moment."

"Next time you feel a panic attack coming on, call me. Anytime, okay? We'll get through it together," Paige's voice was firm, reassuring. "You don't deserve the shit they give you, like at all."

"Thank you," you whispered, feeling a surge of gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you, P."

"You don't have to thank me. I care about you, and I wanna help. Plus, I like hearing your voice," Paige added with a light chuckle, trying to lift your spirits.

You couldn't help but smile at that. "Me too, especially your cute tired voice."

"Cute, really?" Paige laughed through the phone and you swore you felt like your whole world felt even again. "But uh, if you do really wanna disappear you can always come to Connecticut."

The thought of escaping the relentless spotlight, even for a little while, sounded like a dream. "Really?"

"Yeah, you can stay with me for a bit, if that's uh... what you want." Paige explained through the phone. "My friends are super chill and it's always a fun time, if you ever wanna come. Think about it?"

The idea of spending time with the basketball player you'd quickly become enthralled with, seemed almost like a dream. And getting away from LA and all the madness that came with it sounded heavenly, you were going to give Connecticut a thought.

You sighed, feeling a warmth spread through you that had been absent for far too long. "Yeah, I will. And Paige?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. Really."

"Anytime, Y/N. Sweet dreams."

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[ughgoaway]

my favourite fics and writers

hi, y'all!! so I've decided that this year, I want to be more appreciative of all the amazing content we have on this app, and thank the writers providing it. this was inspired by Lily (lastnightwaskindofablur) who shared how long it took her to write her series, and it made me realise how much time and love are poured into these fics.

so this list is basically everyone im following, and my favourite piece of writing from them! I don't think I've forgotten anyone, but if I have IM SO SORRY!! if I am following you- I'm obsessed with you.

anyway, so sorry for tagging 1000 people but I love and appreciate you all so much!!

(so much rambling below the cut)

@64yrsold; “aches” is amazing and “wintering” is heartbreaking in the best way. Also, all of their one-shots are just amazing, I could read them over and over again!!

@yourtouchismidas; “ruins” was one of the first fics that had me checking AO3 every day for updates. truly heartbreaking and all-encompassing. and all the blurbs from it are also amazing. The dad! Matty content mixed with the angst is just so well done.

@abiiors; is not only one of the nicest people on this app (and maybe the world) but also one of the most talented writers. so so many amazing fics that honestly, don't even get me started on bc I will talk for HOURS. but “haunt//bed” is one fic I can't stop coming back to. And “Three’s a Party” is… mind-numbingly good, it actually made me scream into a pillow when I read it for the first time. Vee also creates all the amazing 75 Tumblr activities so really she is to thank for SO MUCH content on here!! one of the kindest people I know, and I feel so lucky to call her my friend :)))

@shinycollarboneapologist; was the blog where I started rambling and sharing ideas, so she is to thank for all the friends I've made on here!!! The Taylor verse is PHENOMENAL and “illicit affairs” is a fav. but “clandestine” has invaded my brain so much I literally dream about it regularly... so I have to say that's my no.1

@imagine-that-100; I first discovered her series "Drunk” on ao3 and then promptly binged everything on her masterlist (multiple times...) “Chicken Shop Date” is just a masterpiece (she and her co-writer are AMAZING on this and I will ramble about her later), but my personal fav is “truth serum”. I have probably read that fic about 50 times over and I love it just as much every time!!!

@heyidkyay; I first read “Who Can Say No to Bridezilla?” and became obsessed on ao3. but then I found them on Tumblr and was completely sucked into "I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name" which is quite possibly the best George series on here. so much character building and back story, and overall just a phenomenal fic.

@justlikemebutsixfootthree; has some of the best smut on this app,” The Birthday Party” is probably my most re-read because it is just an absolute masterpiece. but “insane” and “direction” are also both amazing.

@imightgetbetter; was one of the first blogs I discovered on here, and I fell in love with the whole “Love It If We Made It” series. such an amazing development of a relationship and their writing is AMAZING. but my absolute favourites have to be “Bets are off” and “I love dilfs.”

@butyou-callmewhenyourebored; has such good Ross content all around, truly providing for the Ross girlies!!! but the Leeds au blurb 1 is my fav from them!

@drivelikeiido; has some beautiful fluff, and I just love the way they write Matty. but (not so) important decisions just make my heart warm like nothing else!!!

@toomuchracket; my beloved mads!! the fun wine aunt of 1975 Tumblr. I mean I could talk for 17 pages about my love for all of her au's... birthday party is the perfect supportive husband, d-word is the best slutty old man content on this app lol and flatmate is the friends-to-lovers content we all yearn for. asking me to choose my favourite Mads fic is like choosing a favourite child, but right now it has to be totally wrecked. I think that has altered my brain chemistry in an indescribable way… (edit; since writing this she has put out possibly my no.1 fic of all time, “and this is how it starts” so I just had to mention how much I fucking adore it)

@lottiecrabie; I mean... what else is there to even say about Lottie other than she is one of the best writers I have ever read. truly the mother of 1975 Tumblr. “rockstar girlfriend” and “pray for my soul” both have such special places in my heart, but anatomy au locked a new section in my brain fr. that little loser lives in my head rent free!!!

@tillthelandslide; is so so kind and has some amazing series I would recommend to EVERYONE. “insufferable asshole” is one of my absolute favourites, I love a grovelling man what can I say!!! but “Same for You” has me flipping sides every chapter, I still can't choose if I'm team Ross or team Matty.

@lastnightwaskindofablur; what more can I sat about the whole ATPOAIM universe other than it is quite literally phenomenal. the amount of time and effort poured into the Brittany Jackson universe is so clear by how amazing each fic and blurb is. my absolute favourite thought is "Christmas isn't cancelled (just you.)" from the 12 days of Christmas. it is easily one of my favourite fics I've read!!! She is also the whole inspiration behind this list and made me realise how important thanking your favourite writers really is.

@cowboylor; ohmyLORD the smut on this blog is just... wowowoowowowow. actually made me nervous to attempt smut because of how good theirs is. "Cabin Fever" is probably my favourite, I love a good threesome fic.

@alovesreading; the other half of the JAW DROPPING series that is “Chicken Shop Date”. the hours that have been put into that fic are so clear in how well thought out it is. every word feels purposefully placed, and every chapter fucking HITS. A also writes amazing fics for Alex Turner and is slowly making me an Alex girlie just by how good her writing is...

@bookish-strawberry; such such good fics in the "You and Me Till the End Universe". Ambrose has just created such loveable characters and you can't help but adore his writing. “alleyway” pt 1 and 2 are my favourites, I do love some fwb content.

@hypersonic04; her teacher Ross universe is just great, every blurb and fic just radiates the love between the characters that she has created!! but my absolute favourite fic of hers has to be "Tis the damn season", it somehow made me love one of my favourite songs even more.

@cryley; her “Petichor” series is just fluffy perfection, I have probably read it over 10 times and will 1000% be reading it at least 10 more...

@cows-wearing-my-sweater; has some amazing one-shots, and his work on “Eternal Summer” is absolutely beautiful. she manages to make you feel the warmth of summer through a screen, and it's fucking beautiful. 

@thefrontofmymind; has so many great matty fics/imagines, “Helping Hand” jumps out easily as my favourite though. Once again, friends with benefits is ALWAYS gonna slap. especially when they confess their feelings at the end!!!! ahhh so good. “Proof Positive” is such a good Ross fic, if you like pregnancy fics I would HIGHLY recommend it.

@uramilf; did the 12 days of Christmas last year, and every day was amazing!!! But £The Record Shop” is my favourite series from her, love and music combined are too perfect for me not to adore.

@3terna15unshin3; Marcey's fic "then because she goes" had me refreshing ao3 DAILY. este is such a well-rounded and beautiful character, her and Matty's love makes me so lovesick it's CRAZY. that whole series is my favourite, and my fav blurb from that universe is Toothbrush. Este and Matty are so beloved by me <333

@because-she-goes; has an amazing universe with Matty and an OC that I adore, Nora is such a lovely character and every fic about them makes me giddy. "black lace" and "Summer Girl" are my favourites of their fics though!

@theseventyfive; has such a way with words, every fic makes me giggle and kick my feet. but if you saw my tags on my reblog of "not so secret Santa" you know how deeply I adore that fic. the writing on it is beautiful and makes you feel warm somehow??? amazing.

@wrongendofurcigarette; George girlies it's your time to shine!!!! "sun-soaked" and "wet" swirl in my mind whenever I see a pic of George looking... particularly good. but recently she has created an actress reader au that I am BUZZING for. that little snippet was... wowowowowowowow

@automaticllamacycle; OLIVE!!!!! once again, such a nice and genuine human being and I am so so lucky to chat with her because she is the best hypeman EVER. and is amazing to bounce ideas off of. just such a kind person and I am blessed to scream to her over DM. her coffee shop AU might be my most-read fic ever. it was my daily routine at one point to wake up, go to AO3 and read that fic. when part 2 came out???? I DIEDDDDDDD. but also all of olives horny thoughts are... MUWAH chefs kiss.

@red---moon; "after party" is another fic I read regularly on ao3, sleepy matty after a party with flirting and then smut??? hellooooo yes please. also, “Souvenir” as a series is just amazing, so so so good.

@maxverstappensflatbrim; “show me yours” is such a beautiful universe, and has SO MANY CHAPTERS for you to become obsessed with. I just love every character in that universe, and Mac’s writing is amazing.

@justanamesstuff; “All I Need” is such an amazing series, and I would recommend it to anyone who loves Dad! Matty content!! But all her blubs are worth reading too!!

@procrastinatinglikeapro; is so so sweet and has some absolutely mind-blowing fics. I must have read her entire masterlist 10 times over at this point. Choosing a favourite is hard, but “Does it matter” as a series has me HOOKED. (but also I love “mango lipgloss” and “wear my name around your neck”… don't make me choose okay)

@wrestletotheground; has some absolute BANGERS that everyone MUST read. Once again, the ross-tent on this blog is amazing. “Crime and Punishment” is my fav Matty fic from them, and she absolutely killed it with “Settle Down” for Ross!!

@mybrokenveins3000; college ross SUPREMACY!!! She is right when she says she is proud of “everyday rockstar” because it's easily my fav!!

@steel-elle; beautiful writing with everything she does, but my favourite has to be “But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes” (is this also because I love the song New Year's Day?? perhaps…)

@kscheibles; “e la vita” is so stunning I don't even know how to verbalise it. That fic has a portion of my heart FOREVER. But college bf! Matty is truly the man we all deserve, and I am obsessed with him.

@think0fmehigh; molly!!! My love!!! What else is there to say about Molly other than she might be my fav filthy smut writer on this app, and thats a tough competition. Every time I get a snippet in DM’s from her, I feel like one of the luckiest human beings alive. Molly does not have a bad fic (despite her protests im sure) but my top two (because I CANT CHOOSE JUST ONE) have to be “Birthday Girl” and “You Get Me So High.” but honestly if you have the time, bless your life by reading every word she's ever written.

@controlmyfeet; DAD MATTY FIC. thats all I even need to say, it is SO SWEET and it makes me so happy!!!!

@bfiaflbox; sooooo much good content, but my favourites are “Wintering” and “Tonight I Wish I Was Your Girl” !!

@nowshesdoingitallthetime; kirke. This is me BEGGING for more bartender matty!!! “Cocktails, Cowboys and back alleys” is MWUAH MWUAH MWUAH. Bartender Matty is a need, I adored every second of that fic.

@wiintring; I NEED more from Christina!!! Her writing is all wonderful, and “Come here dressed in black now” does live in my mind!!! 

@grocerystorelist; “body of Christ” is made for the religious trauma girlies and the fleabag girls. PREIST MATTY DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYY. Leila is so talented, it's crazy.

@forcryingoutlloud; wowwowwowwow the smutty content on this blog… its sooooooo good. “Beg for it” and “greedy” did melt my brain in the absolute best way, like I was genuinely SWEATING at how hot it was. As is everything on her masterlist!!

@hrryshoney; gyno! Matty unlocked a whole new side to me that I had NO IDEA was there. Like… insane. And the newest photographer reader fic also drove me CRAZY because I do love a cocky fictional man and some semi-public sex…

@the1975attheirverybest; Halla’s blog is a great place for discussion, good writing and crazy intelligent analysis of the band. “Education” and “being funny in a foreign language” are just… art. Truly. The character of Amelia and the characterisation of Matty are some of my favourites on this app. Hot smut, good writing and a lovely human being- what else do you need hellooo?? (also the pegging blurb from ages ago… yeah I think about her A LOT.)

@sugar-coat-it; FILTY, AMAZING SMUT. literally, every piece on Belle’s masterlist is worth reading 100 times over. Her newest thigh-riding blurb has been rotting my brain, I can't stop going back to it and reading it. Also, the Kylo Ren fic… mask kink unlocked fr. and the matty helping you deepthroat fic is also incredible. (can I just name everything she's done orrr???)

@cinomn; Nina has some great content, and I would genuinely recommend anything!! My favourite has to be “Summer Nights”, but it's a TOUGH competition tbh!!

@noacfslut; THE WRITING SPEED ON THIS BLOG?? MIND BOGGILING. And not only is Elle speedy, but every fic all absolutely wonderful. “Jealousy jealousy” and “undo” are my favourites, but that might change when I get the chance to read her mechanic au, because from what I've heard, it's also extraordinary.

[hamliet]

hello hamliet, love your meta analysis and they always show me a different perspective. Would love to know your opinion on seperating the art from the artist, if it is possible and if so how to go about it?

A few principles:

Not everyone will reach the same conclusion about whether they are able to separate the artist and art, and that's okay. I can't listen to Michael Jackson. I know people who can. I do not judge them.

That said I guarantee you everyone does this separation for something, so don't throw stones.

Being able to separate it doesn't mean someone endorses an issue. I don't think people who listen to MJ are CSA apologists. Learn to separate what art resonates with people from their own personal morals.

Don't deny what the creator has done. I can't deny that JK Rowling is a toxic transphobe who seems dead set on destroying trans' peoples lives and I want her stopped. Or that Charles Dickens tried to have his wife locked up in an insane asylum to cover up his affair.

Don't fight against justice for the creator. Sorry, JK, but I hope Imane Khelif who is not even trans ends up taking you to the cleaners in court. I want her harmful rhetoric to be stopped. It'd be nice if she changed her mind and repented . Take your own advice JK about how remorse is the only way to put a torn soul back together, but it hurts terribly. But I'm not holding my breath and in the meantime transphobia needs to be stopped.

Competing needs are a thing. Sorry, I have never read a series that addresses losing a parent in the same way Harry Potter does. I have read other series' about this. I've never read one that resonates the same way. I love the series but I do acknowledge the author is actively harming people and make efforts to combat transphobia in my own life.

Be sensitive to the fact that people may feel differently. I'm not going to recommend Harry Potter to someone who is transgender or tell someone they absolutely should read it and must separate author from art. They don't have to. There are some things I can't separate.

Don't deny privilege playing a role in what you can separate and what you can't. It does, because we all have different lives and different triggers, and it's good to check privilege. But life is also really short. Live in the tension. Don't try to ignore it or deny it away.

Have those discussions that are uncomfortable.

No ethical consumption exists under capitalism. I've been mostly boycotting Nestle for... thirteen years now? But I don't think everyone who consumes Nestle is intending to say "oh well" to child slaves in Africa. These children matter just as much as trans children, don't they?

Learn everything about something and something about everything, to quote a professor I once had. Care about everything. Focus all your efforts on one or two causes. You can't save the world but you can help save something.

Acknowledge the reality that humans are contradictory. I think HP as a story has the opposite thematic message to a lot of her current rhetoric. Which isn’t to say it’s perfect.

Don’t fall prey to the stupidity of suddenly denying that art is good bc the author or singer is evil. Every time I see ppl trot out the Ursula Leguin quote on HP I lose brain cells because it is empathically clear that people taking that as some kind of prescient insight have never understood Leguin’s books nor HP nor the complexity and contradictoriness of humanity.

Which also isn’t to say it’s wrong to notice problematic elements in said works that may relate to the issue or may be unrelated. Do critique.

[hyunin]

hiiii everyone, this blog hit 1k followers the other day 🥹 tysm to anyone that has followed me here over the years! i'm sure at least a third of my followers are dead blogs from my suju (🤮) era in 2013 before i returned to gifmaking tumblr in 2020, but so many of you joined me once i returned and i'm so thankful for everyone that has reblogged my content and chatted with me and followed me up until this point! 🫶 i wanted to write some fun lil messages for my mutuals and pals below the cut, as well as shout out some people i don't necessarily speak to but like having on my dash also 💗 if u aren't mentioned on here and we're mutuals that doesn't mean i dislike u it just means i'm stupid and missed you 😭 before i get into the messages i also want to ask anyone who can to consider commissioning me for a gifset or writing by donating at least €10 to this fundraiser and sending me a screenshot of your donation! more info on that via this post. thank u so much again everyone!!! 🥳 (edit: i don't think half the mentions in this post are working so please check to see if you were mentioned even if you weren't notified!)

@redvelvetcult hi ele 🫶 i know we don't speak as often anymore but i'm always so happy to see u around and i love you <3 thank u for running yangjeongin with me even if it has been in spirit for 99% of its run LKJSDLFKJSJLKFD still wouldn't be the same without u @bataranqs hi kid! this is going to sound so lame but it's been rly fun watching u grow up over the years through awoo9, every time u use our weird ass humor it's so much funnier coming from u. thank u for hyping up everything we all do, especially my writing!! i really appreciate it and u @anyujins iwin...whew....LLKSJDKLFJLSKF i'm rly happy that we're a lot closer now than when we were last time i made one of these posts. i think we are anyway?? i forgor...but either way ilysm, thank u for your support when i've been going insane over the years and it would appear both of the stories of our love lives that we've been following for so long will have a tragic ending. LJKSDFJLKSLK but i hope we can be friends for many more moments of insanity to come and that we have more good news than bad news to share w each other soon. in the meantime it's always rly fun to talk to u and i am glad i have u in my life @miyawaki ver. i appreciate u v much if only bc u are a major provider of quality shitposts on my dash, u also being into kpop and giffing is a bonus. u are also so funny even if u are also MEAN!!!! it's funny most of the time. and u have also supported me a lot in ur own ver way over the years, and i can always count on u to give me feedback on giffing and such. i'm so happy for u that u are going to uni again and i hope u have so much fun but also don't forget about us 🔫 🫶 @seulggi gfx queen minya! u deserve a shoutout if ONLY bc u are carrying the gfx side of kpop tumblr on ur back fr. and i love seeing what u make on my dash. but u are also an awoo9er so i will give u a long AWOOOOOOOOO of appreciation ❣️ @meongppangz RI omg idk what account is best to tag u on so i tag u here. i rmr the last one of these i made i was like 'hope to talk more under better circumstances' and now we talk nearly every day LJSDFLKSDF i love that for us. thank u crazy person gc for bringing us together fr....love that we can bond over loving ggs and also hating collecting pcs and any other random shit of the day skz is doing. and giffing ofc. talking to u always makes me happy so i hope we continue talking and being friends for a long time to come 🫶 ily. also i'm going through my follow list for this in order of oldest blogs first and i just discovered y'all were one of the first skz blogs i followed. how cute @curiosityjams hi drea, we haven't spoken ages but i wanted to shout u out individually as well because i still enjoy seeing u on my dash and i still consider us friends 🫶 fellow eunbi stan...i will never forget waiting for the 2020 election results w you LMAO abt to do it all again soon...but i hope you're well and hope good things continue coming to u 🙇‍♀️ @hyunjinz agnes, backbone of stayblr that u are, i love u!! i know we don't Personally speak much at all i still feel like u are a dear friend of mine. you were one of the first ppl to support my skz content and i think you're that for a lot of people on stayblr and i think that is so sweet of u and also important for the community. u are so brave for going through the tags all the time and reblogging everything i do not have that kind of energy but i'm so glad u do!! i miss ur gifs but i'm happy that you're still around even when you don't gif. we're some of the last remaining pre-kingdom era skz ccs left 😱 so i will always appreciate ur company here <3 @innielove hi vi, i just want to say i love that u are giffing skz again. i've probably missed a lot of ur sets bc i'm bad at checking tags and dash but when i DO see them i'm like omg vi's gifs r really looking better than ever. thank u for returning to us 🫶 u have also actually been on stayblr for a long time so i'm always happy to see some of the oldies (can u believe we are oldies now...) back on the dash 😌

@kazuhas MS KALE it always makes me happy to see u on my dash here. ur gifs are so lovely and so are u!! i know we mainly know each other from off cc tumblr 🫣 but i wanted to give u a shoutout among all of my other tumblr beloveds bc ily. it's what u deserve @seo-changbinnies marie...another fellow stayblr hag at this point...u are still one of the funniest people on this site i swear. and i'm so glad u are still here and making gifs and blessing us w your funny tags. i hope u always stay just as insane, i love u for that <3 @seungs HI MIAAA we don't talk that much anymore but i wanted u to know that i still always love seeing u and your gifs on my dash 🫶 @felixies luna, legend of stayblr that u are 🙇‍♀️ i think ur work largely goes unappreciated by the fandom but u are an icon for keeping createskz running for all these years despite everything going on in ur life. tysm for your service 🫡 @huiracha marie huiracha...this is how i refer to u in my head btw. like 'huiracha' is ur last name. LKJSDFKLSKLD we have barely spoken but i want to give u your own shoutout just for surviving and continuing to gif on stayblr as long as u have. veterans' discount fr @hyunsung hi mona 🫶 we haven't spoken in a while either omg but i am still always excited to see u on my dash when u gif something or reblog something from me i'm like omg that's my friend mona :D SDKJFSJKLDF so thank u and i hope you're doing well 🙏 @hyunpic VILMA HYUNPIC...u know i am so glad we are better pals now. u are so funny and fun to talk to but also the sweetest ever!! thank u for always listening to me and being kind to me and also making me laugh. every time i feel like an rper named their hyunjin character something dumb i am glad i get to report it to u. some things only u will understand and appreciate. LKJSDKLJFSKLJFKLFD @sungtaro eri <3 we don't talk much anymore and maybe we NEVER HAVE??? but i have always felt like u are a dear friend and beloved mutual. i love seeing u on dash even if we don't have too many groups in common anymore. ur content is always lovely and so are u so we will always be pals as far as i am concerned 🫶 @exocean hi mo!! i must admit i don't have much to say but i wanted to mention you individually because you are so sweet and i love seeing u around and u deserve to know it <3 @hyumjim i don't even know what to say (positive) u know i am so glad ur squirmy wormy tag on one of my hyunjin sets brought us together. idr if we have ever properly spoken like via dm but bc u follow me on all my accounts i feel Seen by u....nd u haven't unfollowed me yet so god bless u. i always enjoy seeing ur thoughts and the posts u put on my dash whether they be a funny text post or someone's hot take getting dismantled or something Thought Provoking. my dash is definitely a better place because of u so thank uu 🫶

@wolfchans lau the Actual backbone of stayblr tysm for ur service fr. without u providing files for us i genuinely believe most of stayblr would be lost. not only do u do that but u are also genuinely very kind and make great content so i appreciate u so much!! thank u for making stayblr (and my dash) a better place @hyunebear hi adri i gotta admit i didn't even realize u were back on tumblr until i was going through my following and saw that u posted recently akljsdflkjdsf goes to show how much i'm on my dash...but i wanted to mention you individually even though it's been so long because you have genuinely touched my heart a lot and i will never forget ur compliments 🙏 ok maybe i did forget some of them word for word. but i will never forget how sweet u were to me. how about that. so thank you and i hope to see u around more!! i probably have to be on my dash more for that tho huh... @romanceuntold hi jen 🫶 i miss u on stayblr i'm ngl but i'm also still glad to see u on my dash through all your phases. you are such a warm and kind person and another person who i will never forget being so sweet to me. thank you and i hope you're doing well ❣️ @wearehappiness sidrah <3 the fact that we were both on stayblr but met properly on pc ig first is still so silly to me. me intending to wait on ur mail to get to me then being like 'stayblr perk i'll send ur mail rn' after i found out u were here LKJSDLKFLJKSF but you are suuuuch a sweet person who makes lovely gifs too. i miss ur gifs also!! and just you in general. wishing u the best in life always 💗 @mybodyfails hi oli 🫶 another person who has been soooo sweet to me, i'm so glad i got to help w leeknoween and i still have all the freebies u sent me from it preserved safely in my freebie photocard binder 😌 you are always lovely to talk to whenever we do, and thank u for reading my fic too despite zombies not being ur thing i appreciate u!! @strayklds / @facethesuns em i just think it's so funny that we like didn't speak before i invited u to the gif streaming server and i just did that on a whim bc u passed the vibe check and now i feel like we are good friends. despite still rarely speaking KSLDFLSDLKF but i love that for us and love ur gifs and seeing u around always 💞 @neohyune hi fae <3 i know us speaking is like a very recent development but i also wanted to mention u individually to thank u for your help 🙏 i need to write more of my fic tbh...but i Will be checking our conversation again for Notes. you also seem like a very sweet person so i would love to talk to u more in the future also 💕 @linoyes another very recent friendship (yes i am calling it that already) in my life, but thank u for your generosity, let's meet that fundraising goal together 💪 i hope we're also able to talk more outside of this context too. i just have a feeling i will have a lot more to say about u once i make another one of these!!

i'm ngl i don't know how many of you actually follow me here and i don't have time to check everyone's username individually so i'm just going to list a bunch of blogs i follow who may or may not follow me JKLSDFLKSDF but y'all make my dash a better place, thank u for all u do! 🫶 feel free to talk to me anytime too

@dazzlingkai @theseulgis @joytual @anyujin @cchuu @cherry-heartss @boynextdoors @hyunchans @ambivartence @minzbins @everglowz @chogiwow @ttathinker @minhosblr @minho-knows @yang-innie @leegahyun @bu99erfly

[youremyheaven]

U GUYYYSSS storytime:

So I got talking to a guy a little while ago and we vibed realllyyy well. He's lowkey the textbook definition of everything I'm looking for in a guy. He's 6'2, well to do (not rich but does veryyyy well for himself), BULKY BROAD SHOULDERED, Venusian etc

The synastry of our charts is insane 🥵 He had Mercury atmakaraka (remember my Mercury DK?? 😌)

He has a Venus Moon and stellium and he's the most Venusian guy I've ever met,,, he LOVES beauty, art, the female form etc and appreciates it. The way he spoke about it was so hot to me ngl,,, mf was so poetic,, he really knew how to speak sensually without ever being creepy or vulgar

His Mercury AK was in Purvabhadrapada and he had a puppy like softie Jupiter guy personality. I loved the fact that he looked like a WWE boxer (bulky af 🥵) but had the personality of a golden retriever. LITERALLY ALL MY DREAMS seemed to be coming true.

I knew his birthday but not his rising sign. Yk what they say about "if something's too good to be true, then it is" ??? yeah, i just couldn't brush off the feeling that something wasn't right. But I couldn't straightaway ask for his birth time, esp since he's Hindu and will know what's up 🤭😂 ANYWAAAYYYS we're talking and everything and this man is love bombing me HARD and I know it because:

a) I'm a retired love bomber myself

b) This is not my first rodeo

and anyways this 🧔🏻 is talking marriage and babies, he's calling me wifey 😭 (kinda cringe bc he's known me for dayyys but good lord handsome men can get away with anything 😤) and he refers to himself as "husband" 😭😭😭 like "husband's proud of you" and "your husband doesn't want you to apologise" 😭 (ew but he's hot 👉🏻👈🏻) and I let myself have my delulu moment and try to give him the benefit of the doubt bc literally he checks every box 🥹and he's soooo completely fond of me. We used to run in the same circles like 10yrs ago, even though I had no idea who he was and never interacted with him then, he told me that he remembered me from back then and thought I was cute 🥺 and later I took a looooong break from social media and he told me he'd wondered where I was all those years 🥹🥹and then I apparently showed up in his "suggested for you" on IG a few months ago and he instantly recognised me and followed me etc 🥺🥹 he's been tryna hmu for monthsssss now but I was with my ex 🤡and then I was recovering from my ex 🤧 so I didn't pay much attention to it. When he told me all this, it kinda made me melt 🫠 how he kept trying to talk to me even though I repeatedly ignored him etc

And he did everything right. I could text him rn and he'd reply in 5 seconds. He always asked me how I was, remembered things, always sent me like 20 different messages until I replied, showered me in compliments (Venusian men love to pour you with their attention, it can even be annoying lmfao) etc like there was nothing in his behaviour, his tone or his words that was giving me 🚩 he genuinely seemed sweet, caring etc and he loved babies 😩 and sent me videos with his nieces and nephews (man's was manipulator pro max) but YK ME 🤪 when I have a gut feeling ☝🏻 I can't ignore it 🤓 so I was very much waiting for the ball to drop and watch him fuck up somehow 💀 initially I felt sooo overwhelmed by all his love (bombing) that I felt like the bad guy for not reciprocating it or feeling that kind of "love at first sight" thing 🤡 BUT

one day he said "I can't believe I found you after 10 years, that means no matter where you are after another 10 yrs, I'll find you then as well" and I was like 🤨 I thought you wanted to marry me and make me your trophy wife 🧐 huh 👀 and he was all 😂😍haha yes ofc I'm just joking bbg 😍😂 but I knew there was more to it

Finally I got his birth time AND GUESS WHAT???

He's Hasta Rising 💀💀💀💀

Idk if you know already but I don't like Lunar men 🤡 and the minute I found out, I was SCREAMING bc 😭 why would God play me like that???? Put the most perfect guy, astrologically and otherwise, in front of me, I literally have him wrapped around my pinky and HE'S A LUNAR??? why God why 😭

But him & I had come too far for me to dump his ass for no reason 😬 (can't tell him it's bc the sus vibes I got from him was further bolstered by him being Lunar 🤭) so I was praying to God to give me an opportunity where he fucks up so that I can walk away 🚶🏻‍♀️from this situation before things get out of hand

AND GOD DELIVERED 😩

I was texting him the other day and he spoke about how he wants to spend as much time with me as he can before we go out to chase our dreams (move away from this city basically) and I was like 🤨so you're looking for a short term relationship?? And he was like 🥺 no never and I was like why tf would you say you want to marry me and have babies (1 boy and twin daughters 😭🤡💀) if you already know you cannot commit???? And he was like "because we could meet again in a few years and it would be nice to have this plan ready" 💀💀💀💀 HE ACTUALLY SAID THAT AKSKKSJSJDIID brother thinks my IQ is in the negatives bc WTF sort of explanation is that 😭 and i told him "this manipulation might work elsewhere but not on me, good luck tho, bye, I'm done here 💅🏻" and he went 180 and said "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to be funny, please give me another chance, all I meant is that we never know how things go so we can try to work things out but there's no guarantee, please I'm so sorry" 😂😂 and he called me like 3 times and finally said "Can we atleast still be friends? i can't lose you like this" AJSJJSJSJ THE AUDACITY 🤡💀🤡💀

but I just want to say thank you God for showing me his true colours and for giving me the opportunity to exit with grace and dignity and making him feel like a fool 😌✨

[mikuchan]

I don't know if anyone but me cares about the process behind the ao3 dives but I've elevated & streamlined it so much, I want to show off

firstly for reference, my original deep dives were done with shorthand on notepad

which was like, fine - each row = one page, so decently able to go back and check things, fix mistakes as long as no other fics were added, so not past a day or two. also meant I had to do it in one sitting and all by hand, so no characters with large tags. Then I started using Google Sheets, which is way more evergreen - allowing for larger projects, over longer spans of time - but are way more labor intensive, since I was copy-pasting or hand selecting every single detail

BUT NOW I've been learning excel formulas and have set up a system that let me grab basic info for a thousand fics in an hour. insane time saver and allows me to tackle characters like Isabelaaa my next focus (who has 6500 tagged works!)

It still takes a good amount of personal labor, and I still have to go in and check actual presence but that's something I want to do myself always anyway since checking character role isn't something anyone can automate ever just bc of like, fic style, writing style etc. But this is still a huge time saver and I'm also just proud of how I set it up.

Here is my XML Machine. Two sheets referencing each other + an app script.

SO now we can take any page of results from AO3 - cut that url, put it into the XML Machine sheet - copy the block of info, and as long as the character-specific sheet is set up correctly (same order of rows, dropdown options match AO3's options) it can be pasted right in

then just hit miss isobel thorm to get the next page, that block is already selected so just ctrl c to copy, click back to other sheet ctrl shift v to paste plain ohhh basic info on 20 fics in 4 clicks

The BIG limitation is that it can't access restricted works - even though I'm logged into ao3, I guess the formula doesn't count as a logged in user. But even with having to manually add those as I come across them, since I do the role assessment + qa manually that's not a huge deal.

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep3 "Dead in the water"

more rewatch notes/commentary I have while watching!! :9

Ew Wisconsin okay...

“guys don't like buff girls.” WHO ASKED?? dumbahh person of the week. I don't even REMEMBER this episode and honestly, I blame you pal. I. Blame. You.

“be careful.” Okay so she's going to die then.

I wish I lived on a lake :(((

HELP THE SLOWMO... uhhh rip girl?? Ig..

Why does Dean look actually insane. He has like 100 newspapers, and his scribbling out faces and circling others 😭😭 i'd call the cops tbh..

Episode three, and second chick we see hitting on dean. It's just bc of his long eyelashes I bet.

LMAO “can I... get you anything else? 😏” “just the check please ☺️” LOVE YOU SAM.

The way dean immediately gives up trying to convince Sam about hookups bc lil bro is still distraught about jess. Like yeah... no way is a hookup gonna seem "fun" to a grieving man

The side eye Sam gives dean when he's telling him about how the people had a funeral for a missing person.

“a funeral?” “yeah for closure or whatever” “closure? What closure. People don't just disappear Dean, others just stop looking for them.” WOAH NELLY... I get it. Bro wants to find dad, dad to find monster, monster to be KKKKKKKKKILLED‼️

vaild.

Okay so Sam is tweaking because he wants to find John, and Dean is— NO WAY HE JUST SAID THAT. “im sick of the attitude.” DAD DEAN CHAT!! also no way he pulled the "I've been with him everyday for the past two years while you were off at school—" BRO.

Great more depressed. old. MEN.

does the loch ness monster exist?

Oh shoot broke dam!! More like... Dam I'm BROKE!!

Dean being good with kids part 1!! Also this is why I have a hard time believing he's so bad with Jack like... LOOK ST THIS.

Dean and his 3 woman in three episodes.

“must be hard with your sense of direction.. trying to find your way to a decent pickup line.” HEYOOOOO!! she ate that.

“‘i love kids’?? You don't even like kids.” “yes I do!” “name 3 kids that you even know.” LMAO NOT SAM GATEKEEPING KIDS LIKE ITS AN INDIE BAND!!! also yes he likes kids, he literally raised you Sam wtfdym?

Wait so late monsters do exist?? THE LOCH NESS IS CANON?? just not here..? Damn I thought since bigfoot was fake that would be too.

I'm pretty sure it's some ghost chick.

Yikes more dead...

“no wonder that kid was so freaked out, watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over..” DEAN :((( I always forget he watched Mary die, cause like Sam too, he just doesn't remember it.

Dean is so good with kids :(((

STOP THEY'RE SO CUTE.

“when I was your age I saw something... anyways..” FUCK.

DWAHHH LUCAS TAKING THE PICTURE DEAN DREW ☹️

AWH HE GAVE DEAN A PICTURE!! they made a connection.

Oh shoot.. that man is so dead. “im gonna make some dinner”

OH SHIT ITS IN THE PIPES

your dead kid. D E A D. IDC tho you ain't Lucas

Ew don't dig in the dirty water. HOLY SHIT HE DROWBING. HE DROWBNIN

Damn.. and in dirty water. I could never.

Bill Carlton is cooked. Literally everyone he knows is dead now.. like damn. Wtf did he DO.

“my children are gone..its worse than dying..” MORE SAD OLD MEN OMFG.

Lucas drawing is important!!

Why don't these people ever be like “yea.. serial killer man..” LIKE A BELIEVABLE BUT STILL CRAZY LIE. "Why the FBI here?" "Serial killer." ITS THAT EASY.

Dean getting help from a kid AHHHHHHHH!!

“your... scared..? I understand.. you see when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared too.. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see my mom.. I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day.” FUCK. JUST TEAR AT MY HEART STRINGS THEN DEAN. “and I do my best to be brave.. and maybe your dad wants you to be brave too.”

LUCAS YOU THE GOAT!!!

so now they are looking for the house Lucas drew and Dean like "man where tf is it?" And Sam's like "uh.. maybe let's look for the church?"

“ohhh collage boy thinks he's so smart!!” Dean the goat of this episode

Sam twitching because he doesn't know if or how he should bring up deans speech. Honestly now that I think about it Sam digs into deans personal stuff alot, mostly because Dean is jaded and hides stuff but IDK it's interesting.

“oh God we're not gonna have to hug or anything are we?” like you wouldn't enjoy that..

The churchhhhh

OMG THE BIKE. IT WAS BIG IN A DIFF DRAWING AND HERE IT IS AGAIN. omg wait it is important.

He's missing.. the kid with the bike.

HOLY COW. all the parents talking about how losing a kid is worse than death, and hey I know what canonically happens in death and uhh, idk if your right about that. Hell? eck.. ghost life?? yikes.. heaven? good but.. mehh...

Rip lil kid. Rip

HE KNEW BILLY. holy cow. Dead kid knew billy. Billy Carlton knows something is going on?? WAIT WHATS HAPOENING.

So wait is the dead kid the ghost..?

HOLY COW THAT BOAT FLEWWWW!!

Lucas having another vision??.. OH SHIT YEA THE GHOST GIES AFTER HIS MOM OR SMTH RIGHT??

THIRD TIME GETTING CAUGHT LMAOOO. “and your not really wildlife service..” HELP.

this cop made sus. Why you so mad these guys are investigating a murder?? They weird but like..

LUCAS KNOWSSSS..

This is kinda like a call forward or uhh foreshadowing to Sam's visions, which is kinda dope

LADY DON'T TAKE THAT BATH. NOT JUST CAUSE I DONT WANNA SEE YOU NAKED..

deans going back to town even after being threaten because lil kid was scared. GOAT. the goat I tell you.

“who are you and what have you done with my brother??” it's really not out of character for him Sam😭

DON'T TAKE THAT BATH LADY. YOUR DEAD. DOOMED.

oh whatever. I give up. EW MURKY WATER. CAN'T YOU FEEL IT LADY.

poor lucas.. lil bro bouta become an orphan.

LMAO DEAN THREW LUCAS OUTTA THE WAY. and Sam actually saved her 🤷

So wtf is after them. I DON'T REMEMBER.

Oh shoot puppy dog eyes Sam is back. “tell me what happened. Everything. 🥺”

More Lucas visions..

THEY FOUND THE BODY. or no? THE BIKE.

THE SHERIFF DID WHAT NOW.

No dead ghost Peter LEAVE LUCAS ALONEE!!

oh shit he did kill someone.

OH SHIT.

YOU WERE A BULLY?? EE. I HATE YOU. YOU KULLED HOM?? WTF.

dude no your daughter should stay away from you you freak.

LUCAS IS DROWNING.

Mermaid Dean 🧜

Sacrifice yourself for Lucas? Valid sheriff. Valid.

WOOO ITS OVERRRR!! MYSTERY SSSSOLVED!!

AW LUCAS IS TALKING AGAINNN!!

Dean teaching random kid his morals and tastes in music LMAO.

dean pulls yet NAOTHER woman. Are you fr?

One of my least favorite episodes tbh..

[favouritefi]

I'm here to be bothersome about purror and erebark again. In your web of how the characters connect art, you have Little having a work crush on Jopson. I'm curious what Jopson feels about Little. Sorry if you've already answered this.

not a bother, my au is so convoluted that theres no way anyone but me can keep track of it all LOL. my answer became an insanely long stream of thought so its under the cut (you have been warned):

I’ve said before that jopson was initially hostile towards little and then he calms down and that it’s hard to tell what he thinks about little, part of that is bc jopson is so crozier focussed that all other people become secondary, the other part is bc they have known each other for far longer in this au than they have in canon so jopsons opinion of little has changed over the years as they both changed (for better and for worse). Like, little was there when jopson and crozier had their Big Fight and little visited jopson nearly as much as crozier visited him when jopson was Dying In The Arctic and little makes jopson coffee every morning and offers to do the chores the others don’t want to do when he’s not depression napping around the house and it’s very obvious that little respects jopson a lot / crushes on jopson a little bit and jopson is not stupid so he knows about littles feelings for him but its like. what is jopson meant to do with all of that? Someone once told me they really dislike the crozier and jopson in my au but i think that’s cause I haven’t elaborated enough on jopsons internal conflicts and feelings and history - jopson doesn’t really see himself as a catperson. What I mean is, jopson spent most of his adult life with crozier who treats him like a human, who treats him like he would any other man, and jopson is used to this and used to having this perception of himself as someone worthy of dignity and autonomy and respect. This is not the kind of life that all the other catboys in this household grew up with. Everyone else has been treated by humans like playthings or pets or vermin, only jopson has had the consistent experience of being treated like a Person, not an equal no, but a real Person. And he likes that. He likes crozier. No one else in the world is capable of giving that to jopson besides crozier. Little is lovely and kind and earnest and if jopson thought of himself as a catperson, if he had been adopted by anyone except crozier, then maybe him and little would meet at some soirée where the both of them are bored to death and jopson flirts with little just for fun and little responds with such schoolboy-like fluster that jopson is charmed and they start courting and falling in love and they get paraded around by their owners like a pair of whimsical trinkets and they might even be permitted to take care of / raise their nieces and nephews and so the two of them dont have to work anymore and they are excellent parents and its a wonderful life that jopson is happy with, but that didnt happen. crozier happened to jopson and jopson happened to crozier and this changes both of them irrevocably. sometimes jopson thinks about little and about what-ifs and imagines that he might be content with little, that its not too late to try, but then he checks the time and realizes he needs to start making dinner now if he wants to make that beef and potatoes dish that crozier likes so much. and when little compliments him on the dish he politely smiles and politely ignores little's adoration. so yeah, thats what jopson feels about little.

[kivaember]

AC6 College AU? Rusty plays the lacrosse, Raven is either a programmer or an engineer major, Ayre is an AI made by him, and Freud is one of the faculty members.

i've actually thought about a college AU!

Well, technically, a university AU bc I'm from the UK and college is a diff thing entirely to uni. Also I have no idea what American uni culture is like LMAO (idek what lacrosse is, rusty would be good at football or rugby tho) BUT ANYWAYS my idea for it was:

RUSTY: an undergraduate taking the BSc (Hons) in Ecology and Conservation (not sure if it's different outside of UK, but an "honours degree" is more difficult than a standard degree, and is more attractive to employers as a result). He's got an avid interest in ecology and zoology, and has plans to be a conservationist upon graduating.

621: He's actually a professor at the university, but looks so young that most mistake him as a student if they're not in his department. He teaches ethical hacking and cyber security, and has several rumours about him, such as he used to be a notorious hacker who was eventually caught and strongarmed into working for the government in lieu of a prison sentence, and now spends his time teaching the next generation, etc, etc. Is it true? Who knows...

WALTER: He's the university librarian, and everyone is scared of him because he's so stern and always has this aura of intensity, even when just checking a book out for someone. For some reason he's on very good terms with 621... many people theorise on their history, because Walter's also very good with computers... everyone is also aware that Walter and Michigan are a thing bc those guys ain't subtle in the slightest.

FREUD: He teaches sport science and students either love him or hate him. He's like the human personnification of marmite. He's very enthusiastic about health and remaining in peak condition, and he expects his students to give 110% in his classes. He's always butting heads with Snail, who's in the same department as him. People take bets on how long it'll take for them to fight in the parking lot and who would win (Freud has 'is insane' strength but Snail would be powered by sheer rage that has been repressed for x amount of years).

IGUAZU: He works in the on-campus cafe as a barista. He's surly and curt but makes the best damn coffee in the city so no one really complains about it. He seems to know 621 and has some kind of hate-love relationship with him? It's complicated. He yells at 621 every time he walks into the cafe but also knows his order off by heart so it's very hmmm (more fuel for the rumour mills).

MICHIGAN: He teaches War Studies and History, and while he's a pretty demanding professor, most students love his energetic style of teaching. Many assume him to be a red and blue blooded American on account of his bombastic personality, American accent and insisting on being called Michigan - he's actually French and the estranged son of a well-known billionaire. It's Michigan's deepest darkest secret.

AYRE: Every so often 621 will have a guest speaker in his classes who calls in remotely (and voice only) called Ayre. He says she's an "old work colleague" and they're both very vague about what work they were colleagues in, but people enjoy Ayre's guest appearances as she's very friendly - in direct contrast to the very taciturn and almost cold 621.

O'KEEFFE: He works in HR, but most students joke that he's more of an information broker than anything. Though he acts put upon, he's willing to help out students trying to navigate the byzantine beaucracy of university paperwork and how to squeeze out as much as possible from their loans or signposting people to things that can help them. He's easily bribed with coffee and cigarettes, but honestly, he'd help out even without a bribe... very much one of those people who look gruff and unfriendly on the outside, but actually a good person underneath it all.

FLATWELL: He owns a bakery just outside of university grounds that's popular with the students. One of the reasons Rusty chose this univeristy to do his degree: his Uncle lives just outside of it, and was willing to house him, letting Rusty save money for dormitory and food and stuff. Seems to have some ~history~ with O'Keeffe in HR...

UH THOSE ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS/ROLES and the plot would be Rusty crossing paths with 621 and thinking him very cute (621 would be the type to dress in cardigans and wear glasses), and also a fellow student... is totally unaware that he's a faculty member from an entirely different department. Tl;dr after some flirting and a few dates, Rusty only realises that 621 is a faculty member when he mentions off hand about needing to go back early to mark papers.

Rusty: oh you're... a TA? helping out in your last year? 621: no i teach Rusty: Rusty: wait how old are you-

In this I'm thinking Rusty would be in his mid-twenties, and 621 would be in his late thirties. So, about a 10 year gap between them, give or take a year.

But yeah. Coughs. That's.... that's my university au idea... mmhm. yeah...

[synthizedarchive]

i'm not going to put this on the @solarisdog account as me and @scratchizm have already flooded the blog with our story enough. it's not about me, it's about other people that have suffered and come forward in order to share their awful experiences. but i'm just writing this anyway. maybe someone is checking my account. maybe it's just for me to vent.

it's clear that will never get an apology for what has happened to me. not for what matters. i don't care that i had racism, i don't care that i was accused of content theft and lore stealing, i don't care about having ''problematic faceclaims'. i care about what would actually be classed as a fucking crime. being labelled a stalker, abuser, and groomer. that i will be always be labelled the stalker and obsessed, which it's actually the reversal. that my partners will be forever labelled as ''DID real'' rather than actual tangible human-contact reality.

the amount of PTSD and trauma i have from them is unreal, and i wish i could put this into proper words of how this has affected me since 2021 ( i believe ). my partners can attest to the way my mental state was affected but only I know the feelings that have churned in my gut for all these years.

i'm the ''obsessed'' that comes from me seeing their blog two-three years ago in my FYP, and wanting to reconnect. that i'm so fucking traumatized by rejection sensitivity and ADHD problems or whatever ( and knowing even back then of the ghosting they do without any care or empathy ) , that i sent an anon saying i missed them. before we got into a extremely close friendship - but they say was a relationship. messenging solaris was the worst thing i have ever done in my entire life and i don't say that lightly. trying to reconnect and just be a fucking friend to someone whose content and lore i enjoyed?? the worst regret of my life.

i'm sitting here crying again over a person who is ten years younger than me. how sad and pathetic am i, honestly. solaris will never understand the feeling of what it is truly like to be stalked, obsessed over, manipulated, abused bc this is MY experience. not theirs. they are the stalker and obsessed, not me.

what is it about me that made me such an easy target to this planned level of orchestrated abuse? i just don't understand. it breaks me.

only a handful of people on this site, i can assume, will truly know what it feels like to have your every movement monitored. your every blog - that not even cheezbot has the chance to like posts on yet - thrown out to the wolves within seconds of making it. personal blogs attacked. even when i try to heal my trauma by creating a villain in my story called 'the stalker' ( which lasted all of 5 minutes before it made me feel sick again ), which was actually my wife's idea, i'm labelled as insane. this situation HAS made me lose my mind, on so many levels.

and i'll never get an apology for that. and it really hurts. other people get apologies so easy. whether they accept it or not is up to them. but where is my closure? maybe i'm selfish. but i know what i 100% am - and that is fucking broken by this whole experience.

myself, my loved ones, my friends, they know the truth but for me that will never be enough to actually having your abuser admit fault. no matter how much i tell the truth of my story, it will forever be twisted whilst i have this voice. and while it is a relief to have that voice be heard by others that have experienced similar issues, i will forever be tainted by a disgusting, vicious, abusive brush. all because i cared about someone. all because i wanted to be their friend. all because i said hell no to a relationship. i'm just so regretful to have ever met them, and i'm sure a lot of other people feel the same. hindsight is an amazing thing. if i had knew, i would have never even said hello to them.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

oh oh and sugu in formal clothing... i'm so nsjsbdjjdjsjd. like you mentioned comfort is definitely a priority for him! so nothing too fancy, maybe a pair of slacks that are. a little tight on the waist and the Ahem.. a thick (black) button down paired with a worn out leather belt... which feels So sugu to me in every way. AND OF COURSE THE TOP FEW BUTTONS ARE UNDONE

i feel so crazy the way i need him he's so effortlessly handsome and cool. imagine getting ready with him, brushing and tying his hair (he trusts your judgement more than his own! he'll let you handle his precious beautiful long hair because he trusts you soooo much :(() maybe he helps you put on perfume/cologne. and gives you a dozen too many kisses while he's at it I PROMISE IM SO NORMAL ABOUT GETO SUGURU!!!!!!!!!!!

and ending the day with him... tbh i always think suguru is the perfect person to end the day with or lay down or... he's just so comforting and calm and you can absolutely feel at peace just hearing him near you! i can totally see like... both of you passing out on the bed before changing or showering and just finding your way into each other's arms, because who can resist home?

gah sorry for yapping i'm kind of extremely tired from formal event myself... always has me thinking... what if.. what... Geto BUTi'm making myself sick. i've caught the suguru virus and i'm severely ill... the little mice in my brain.. cannot tell if they are happy or sad

from 🌖 anon! ^ ^

ANOTHER 🌖 ANON ASK HEHE it’s my lucky day <333333 THIS MADE ME SO INSANE BTW…

PHEWWWWWWW SUGU IN FORMAL CLOTHING be still my beating heart ……… YOUR DESCRIPTION MADE ME FEEL SO VERY ILLLLL THE TIGHT WAIST??? THE BELT????? COUPLE BUTTONS UNDONE??????? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 you’re trying to kill me…. i KNOW you are…….. no bc you’re so objectively correct it’s crazy . he’s just. classy and comfortable. he doesn’t even need to Try.

he looks so fucking good in a suit it’s insane ……. LOOK AT HIMMM

sick sick man . he’s so pretty . :(((((

AND PLSSSSS THE WAY OUR BRAINS R SO LINKED 😭😭😭😭 me seeing this right after yapping abt how suguru trusts you w his hair in the last ask you sent …… real recognizes real 🫡🫡 NO BC THAT CONCEPT IS SOOO SICKENINGLY SWEET you’re making me yearn for him so hard yk… getting ready w him…… and him trusting your judgement 🥺🥺 honestly sugu strikes me as the kinda bf who’d wear something he didn’t really like just bc you picked it out for him. bc he only really cares about your judgement anyway!!!! might bully you a little but . he does so lovingly <333 and still wears it proudly <33333 bc his baby picked it out just for him……..

OKAY STOP we’re getting too close to me. melting through the floorboards 😭😭 WAHH he’s just such a sweetie…… AND HIM HELPING YOU PUT ON PERFUME/COLOGNE 🥺🥺🥺 he would kiss you so many times it’s crazy…. and i think he uses the opportunity as an excuse to sniff your neck LMAOO. he’s so sly. ”want me to check if it smells okay? :)” <- he just wants to bury his nose into your neck and inhale your scent,… but he can’t do it unless he has a Reason bc he doesn’t want to come off as weird. (satoru on the other hand has no shame and will sniff you randomly and incessantly <333 he just loves your natural scent sm. freak.)

AND THEN . ending the day w him 🥺🥺🥺 ohhhh 🌖 anon you know the way to my heart……… you really really do………… i agree completely :’3 he’s the perfect person to relax and unwind with. helps you shower or take off your makeup if you wear any…. lets you take care of him if you want bc he can’t say no to you and your soft hands…….. and then curling up next to you under the covers and tucking you into his chest. ”because who can resist home?” <- I GENUINELY CRIED I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY :((((( this line reached through my screen and turned my heart into mush…….. who can resist home:(((((((( have you considered a career in poetry my sweet anon. bc i’d gladly read it. he’s your home!!! and you’re his!!!!!

sniffleeeee i feel so sappy today T_T i love him…. and i love you……. never apologize for yapping i love hearing you yap and forcing you to listen to me yap in return <33333 we’re making the sugu brainrot worse for each other aren’t we…… AND PLSS THE MICE IN YOUR BRAIN 😭😭 i hope they’re okay. mine definitely aren’t. terminally ill….. the only cure is suguru geto jjk….. sniffle……….

[starleska]

Close enough, welcome back Aardman blorbo 💖 Want that greasy weasel man’s entire biography on my dash my next week (/j, everybody roam free <3)

I have a stye…and Covid…and need to finish writing a whole dissertation on how This Blorbo’s Moral Character Is Good, Actually,…This Time bc a friend read an atrocities-ridden fanfic that unsettled her enough to haunt in her day-to-day life and just so happened to pick my blorbo’s moral character to assassinate in the process. <\3 c’est le vie. I know I’ll be okay though! I get real (read: more) pathetic when I’m ill and handcrafting how the besties perceive a fictional character is near impossible, but it’s all stuff that’ll pass sooner than later <3

I hope you’re doing well 💖 I can’t think of a subtler way to say it as Illness eats at my brain but I wanted to know if you’re okay and check in on you! I’m definitely loving these fictional lil guys (and some girls) you’ve been posting <3 they’re all so fun! I haven’t thought about Monika in so long! And I’ve never considered Victor Quartermaine like that before 👀 and I haven’t even HEARD of I. M. Meen but I’m holding your hand, we (you, me, whoever put him on the sexypedia) can be so brave about it together 💖 OH, AND when I was rapidly scrolling through my dash one day to get to the oldest new posts, and I saw nothing but straight up flashes of YYH for a minute….I knew, I KNEWWWW it was you. I didn’t even have to check. 😂 it was such a pleasant surprise. I need to watch YYH. It has such fun character designs.

bahahaha ahhhhh listen it may just be a passing crush but Victor Quartermaine is exactly the kind of bastard Tory my ancestors would yell at me for having a crush on, i can't be blamed 🙈🙈 oh no!!! sweetie are you feeling better? 🫂 COVID is no joke at all, i hope you are (or were if it's over - surely it is by now!!) hydrated and resting up 💖💖 so so sorry for how long it's taken me to get round to this ask - you know when you're severely burnt out and any message longer than a paragraph makes you want to cry, even when you love the person who sent it and really want to reply? 😭😭😭

ooh forgive me, i might be a bit confused (busy packing for a trip and my brain is egg-fried rice) - your pal read a fanfic with a different interpretation of a beloved character and you're looking to fix it? awww i'm so sorry!! 🫂💖 but hey, think of it this way: isn't it pretty marvellous that every human being is so different that they can see a character and have a totally different interpretation? i suppose it depends on what 'atrocities' covers 🙃💔 either way, i hope you're feeling less distressed now 💖💖 aww Lorelei you are such a treasure - thank you for checking in 🫂💖 i am doing a lot better!!! i've been doing a lot better after taking that break and being more conscious of the stuff i'm doing every day, both online and offline...real life is going super well :3c i'm going on a trip tomorrow which is really exciting!! dfghfd oh my god putting Monika, Victor, and I.M. Meen back-to-back makes me look so insane...but that's what we're about here on Tumblr dot com, no? 😉 YESSSSS oh my god you would love Yu Yu Hakusho, it's so so good!!! definitely dozens of pretty people in there to fall in love with...!!! Hiei and Kurama have had my heart since i was tiny 😳💖 giving you SO MANY HUGS!!! i love you to bits and miss you a bunch - no pressure on replying but i'd love to hear how you're doing :3c take care pal!!!

[noisytenant]

my mother's physical abuse of me has gotten a lot worse, but then we inexplicably had a very nice weekend together and it makes me feel like i can't trust my own senses regarding her. i dont even hate her, i just need to be away from her. i had a couple bags packed and was ready to move several states away to be with my boyfriend (whose family had agreed to shelter me) but then they dropped out abruptly when they realized they couldnt afford to add an extra person to their household. im stuck and i feel very overwhelmed and i wish that the fastest possible solution had actually worked bc the longer i stay the more i feel my will to leave depleting. and what's worse is that i do have a lot of extended family in town but i dont think i can go to them on the offchance that they won't believe me/i dont wanna deepen the rift between my mom and them bc we still see each other every sunday... and quite frankly for that reason running to one of them wouldnt really be an escape bc we all live within a square mile of each other. im deeply conflicted and overwhelmed bc i know by leaving id hurt and scare a lot of people who dont deserve it, but at the same time i never want anyone to make me feel that worthless again. especially not my mother. being choked by your own mother is an existential nightmare for me in the truest sense of the word. i do have a backup plan with another good friend of mine, but it's going to take a lot longer, and i feel insanely overwhelmed and hurt. thank you for listening in advance

sorry to hear that, you're certainly in a difficult situation...

i didn't specify this before so you had no way of knowing, but in the future please ask before sending anons about heavy abuse/physical violence, because it can be triggering for me. i'm alright and feel okay about responding to you, i just wanted to set a precedent for the future. i think most bloggers would similarly appreciate a heads-up.

my longer response below the cut...

please take everything i say with a grain of salt. i'm just sharing the things that come to mind. i don't have extensive personal experience with the situation you're describing, so what i'm saying is based on observation, reading, etc. i'm not an expert and i can't really take responsibility for anything that comes from listening to me. i'm trying to be as thoughtful as i can here, but i may have blind spots. use your best judgment.

anyways...

abuse comes in phases, and it's really common for abusers to turn and become very nice for a moment. that doesn't negate the ways they hurt you and threaten your physical and emotional safety.

when you get distance from the abusers in your life, you realize that kindness without the threat of abuse is abundant. it hurts deeply to realize that someone you want to rely on for warmth and care isn't providing that without complementary pain, but time and distance allows you to grieve that and reconcile it in whatever way is best for you.

--

it seems like you're exploring a few avenues of escape, so i hope one of them pans out in the near future. waiting for change to come is the worst. believe that it'll be worth it in the end.

it's hard to open up to extended family. it seems like everyone's very close--maybe not on good terms, but seeing each other weekly is very high-contact. i can understand worrying about "rocking the boat".

that being said, you may be able to seek more closeness with some people, and get a vibe check on their perceptions of physical abuse, their ability to keep secrets, etc. if there's even one person you can open up to, it might help. maybe they can't house you, but they can let you sleep over if you have a bad night + can promise to keep your location a secret. every resource counts.

and if you think someone's trustworthy, and you open up to them, and they decide they want distance from your mother, that's their decision. basically, you don't need to shield your mother from the consequences of her own actions by remaining silent about your experiences. though if you think she will retaliate against you for it, exercise caution.

it can be hard to maintain hope, but i think reminding yourself of what you're working toward (physical and emotional safety, growth, peace) can help you sustain the will to leave. nobody deserves to feel, like you said, worthless. nobody deserves to be physically abused.

even if your mother becomes extremely kind for a few days, a week, or longer, i think you should trust that getting distance is important and necessary. as abusers push their warped perspective of the world onto you, they make it hard to see yourself and to think clearly. distance can lift the fog.

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"i know my leaving will hurt and scare a lot of people who don't deserve it"... i do wonder if this is strictly the case. perhaps there are ways you can communicate your circumstances to the people that matter most to you while maintaining safety. and a lot of people are more understanding and patient than you might expect. i have little doubt you're trying to prevent collateral as much as possible. this is admirable, but don't overdo it.

i would encourage you to be okay with upsetting some people while you're doing what you need to survive and thrive. people may be hurt, confused, or scared in the moment, but i think people generally ought to consider good-faith reasons why something unexpected or hurtful would occur. and you may be surprised by the compassionate and thoughtful ways people respond when they learn of what's happening and why you left. being upset over one hurtful thing is very different than being upset because of repeated patterns of violence and abuse.

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Another consideration for the moment, while you're still with her... I want to be really, really careful with my words here, because I don't know enough about your situation, and things that can protect someone in one situation can escalate or worsen things in others. But I did want to say, I think you have the right to defend yourself, physically and verbally.

Exercising these rights is sometimes safe and other times not, so use your best judgment. But I think sometimes we can feel helpless and forget our protective capacities. This is dependent a lot on things like your size and physical ability, but you may be able to do things like block your body, pull hands off you, or just walk/run away so as to escape further harm.

Maintain the goal of ending the interaction while minimizing injury. Self-defense doesn't need to be complicated martial arts maneuvers. It's your posture, words, and actions combined.

There are a lot of different self-defense strategies, from the pacifistic to "defense through offense". I wish I could tell you how to identify the perfect de-escalation and defense strategy, but I can't. Even people who study this stuff for a living don't have the perfect formula. Know that any effort is noble.

Anyways. In some circumstances, defending yourself gets people to think twice before trying to hurt you. Trying different ways of fighting back may allow you to gain back some control in your situation. But be careful, because sometimes it makes things worse.

I want to reiterate that you should assess your situation, and that I can't take responsibility for whatever happens. But I wanted to say this, as someone who sometimes "freezes" when feeling threatened. Sometimes just knowing you have the capacity to defend yourself, even when not exercising it, can help you stay grounded in the present.

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If nothing else, trying to reclaim your emotional reality in your private thoughts can help you to get through the difficult times. "I don't deserve to be treated like this and I am doing what I can to change things for the better." Try not to let her wear down your innate understanding that you deserve safety and respect.

Good luck with it all </3

[meirimerens]

it seems to me that the deal with pathologic 2 english dubbing is entirely dividing all of the characters into three categories: British, South Park character and Women (with intended derogation). honestly drives me insane a bit because with russian well we don't really have that distinct of accents so everyone kinda sounds the same in that manner... and it almost feels less theatrical (maybe it should. but the way english dubbing sounds theatrical To Me is. well. NAWT GOOD) in russian voice over, especially with the kids. (still thinking about british 20 y.o. oxford student that is Notkin and south park caricature voiced by an adult woman that is Khan in english dub. *[metaphorically] holding a cig in between my fingers pensively* still not dealing very well with it emotionally.) the only voice that set me absolutely fucking insane in russian voice over was Eva's – WHY DOES SHE TALK LIKE THAT!! WHAT DID THEY DO TO HER!!!!! misogyny in casual ways etc. etc. but with english dubbing every other character forced a fight or flight response out of me. idk maybe i am a bit biased but with the way it is just so different.... pathologic 2 (RUS) and pathologic 2 (ENG) are like two siblings who are mostly the same but one of them is objectively . uglier than the other. speaking of siblings, it turns out Stamatins have DIFFERENT voice actors in english. this feels like a crime....

i could talk about the voices for Hours bro i played the game russian voices/english subtitles and most of the lp's i watched also went this route except One so i discovered the english voices like second-handedly and Scared Me bro scared me... i've already talked about the kids' voices like I Know. I Know how hard it is to VA kids especially if you have to work with regulations making it harder to hire child VAs (for the better of the kid mind you, i'm not saying #bringbackunregulatedchildlabor here) and i'm sure the women who voice teenage/child boys are doing their absolute bests but man. i think the suspension of disbelief works way more when working with for ex. anime voice acting bc you can See the characters are only vague simulacra of children, but in a game that has pretty detailed 3D models and strives for a certain realism in the faces and whatnot, it is Jarring...

i think the use of British/generally Non-American english accent is like a commin trope to denote a foreignness or a different social status (because most of the anglophone players Will Be americans because. bigger country) but like. come on. look_how_they_massacred_my_boy.mp4... i'm sure there are subtleties within the russian voices that i'm not gettin because. well i'm not russian i guess that helps that would be Complicated to transpose in english but like. worarrgh.

i'm Very Glad both of these games had a release with an english voice acting cast because we like. Know. the tendency that americans have wrt Foreign Media / refusing to interact with things if they are not Dubbed in english even if they are subtitled [i think the whole Parasite movie release put that on the carpet again but i knew of it way before that] so it allowed for More People to check out the games [again. for the better and the worse...]

can we talk about eva and the twins let me talk about eva and the twins. can i talk about eva and the twins?

p2 russian eva has a light and high-pitched voice but it's kinda like. airy and hazy like she's deep in thoughts like she's daydreaming... her english voice sounds like the squeaky voices anglophone VTubers make so sound like cutesy anime girls. she sounding more like a child. and when you pair it with her neotonous face with her fit that looks like a child having dressed themselves and the general "youthening" of her personality. well i ain't saying anything but i'm making the biggest side-eye known to man rn!

p1 russian andrey has a sort of like high almost mighty and haughty attitude, kinda towering, p1 russian peter also has this sort of height with pride to it but fraying on the ends like mouth woolen (the Drink)... p1 english andrey has some of that height and restraint, kinda high in the throat like he's being above... p1 english peter is Squeaky. he's so squeaky. almost sounds giddy from time to time but also. The Drink. my man an arm on the wall drink in the other at a party telling you about shit only his drunk mind can comprehend...

p2 russian andrey has a depth and a certain Mystery but it still looks natural/like he's Deep In Thoughts... p2 russian peter is way #deeper than his p1 counterpart but it still looks natural/that's a Depressed voice if i ever heard one. scraping the floors with it.

p2 english andrey is so raspy it's kinda comical like he playin toughguy and p2 english peter while still Deep is like Theatrical to a goofy extend like IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS. YOU SLEEP IN A BATHTUB 😭😭

while it. is normal for siblings to have different voices and would make sense for two siblings to have different voices, and as such voice actors... it doesn't for the stamatwins!! are you crazy? you SEPARATE the stamatwins? you make them into two people instead of two sides of a same coin? JAIL!! JAIL FOR THE VOICE ACTORS