#and i know none of them are gonna pay for my food or gas or anything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clownmoontoon · 2 months ago

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WAAUAUGHHGH HELLO FRIENDS ITS UPDATE TIME!!!!!

if you have or havent kept up w my talky posts lately heres a general rundown of all the things + an update! A LOT'S BEEN GOIN ON ALDKJASD

this is the promised more detailed break down of events, so feel free to scroll down to the end to get the TLDR!! <3

i realized thru therapy n talkin to friends/my sisters that my mother is an Abusive Gaslighting Narcissist (thank u therapist i love this title sm) and a whole lotta things in my life started making sense (like why i felt worthless/like a burden! my mom was actively trying to make me feel this way lol!!)

SO i reconnected w my sisters who i hadnt spoken to in ages bc i thought they hated me (guess why lol) and started keeping them updated win all the happenings that were happening! we agreed to keep our reconnection a secret from our mom for now, as it became clear she had tried to keep the three of us apart so she could guilt us separately for money and we wouldnt ask any questions if stories told to one didnt make sense with the other (none of them made sense LOL)

tho i tried to keep it on the dl it was hard to hide the fact that i was now aware abuse was happening, even if i didnt say anything i had p much decided to stop grovelling/begging for love/begging for respect bc i realized my mom was never gonna give me any of that no matter how much money i gave her ( in retrospect it sounds obvious when i put it like that but when youve been living it your whole life its quite a shock! :,o) ) so the lack of grovelling/paying for love started to make my mom quite angry and she started to escalate her abuse bc at this point none of us were giving her any money and she was aware i had money and was refusing to give it (i told her i had to save for one of my kitten's spay surgery, which was true, and the idea that i would use my money for anything other than giving to her made her veeerry angry) suddenly there wasnt enough money for food, not enough money for gas to drive me to work ( a less than 5 min drive vs a nearly 45 minute walk with no sidewalk along a busy road aa), etc u get the idea all the while my mom kept trying to guilt me for more money while always seeming to suddenly have the money when i kindly held my ground and refused to give anything (she kept buying her blonde hair dye, kept getting her car washed, buying JUST enough food for when she was in the house etc) in the end walking all that way was good bc the 5 min car ride was a lot more stressful and i was able to stop and get food on the way during this time i had talked w friends and my sisters about moving out, I REALLY WANTED TO, but no one could house me and my four cats and honestly i dont fault any of them for that, taking on a whole other person is a lot, much less someone w four cats no matter how well behaved they are ^^;

as my mom got angrier she made it clear how much of a burden i was now that i was saving my money, telling me the sooner i move out the better, threatening to call police if i dont leave etc (all very clear bluffs in hopes that id pay up out of fear, she refuses to admit she relies on me to take care of the house and her dogs) until one day i was taking notes on a class on my laptop and she walked in front of me and slammed my laptop shut and started ranting about why should i get to use the water or electricity etc essentially telling me i wouldnt be allowed to shower, take classes or do work until i started giving her all my money

also for those who dont know i wasnt living with her bc im a huge bum that loves mooching off my mom lmao we had an agreement, and she emphatically told me that i didnt need to pay to live there so long as i was working on my career and took care of my cats -> all things i continued to do despite it all lmao shes just very good at making me feel worthless enough that i give her all my money, i have no savings bc of this and didnt even realize why asdkl;jasd

ANYWAY one night she got angry enough that i genuinely felt scared, i had mentioned before that in my teens and early 20s i thought my mom was going to kill me and hadnt felt that way in some years til that night the look in her eyes was so ... dark? like immediately i felt "oh shes going to hurt me" she didnt, she just walked past me and didnt say anything but the look was there. i called both of my sisters the next day and told them that if anything happened to me to not believe our mom if she said it was an accident or that i did smth to myself etc and that 100% she did it and did it on purpose that was enough for my oldest sister who said suddenly during the call "what if i just come get you??" my oldest sister lives in virginia and i lived in ga which is a roughly 8 hour drive so i didnt think she'd really do that, and i reminded her i have 4 cats to which she responded "FUCK MY LANDLORD" LMAO she has a big house and told me theres plenty of room and tho the landlord said no more cats (she already has two and theyre registered as therapy animals) they hardly ever visit and always call first so we can do a quick hide or take the kitties for a ride or smth when they come

SOOOO SHE DROVE DOWN ON SUNDAY, STAYED IN A HOTEL, CAME MONDAY MORNING WHILE OUR MOM WAS AT WORK, HELPED PACK UP ALL MY STUFF INCLUDING MY KITTIES AND WE MADE OUR GREAT ESCAPE!!! \QUQ/

im mostly settled in my sister's house now and things are going great!! everyday im realizing just How Bad my mom's house was and it boggles my mind!!! ive never Not lived in an abusive home and finally being out is like!!! WHAT!!! it may sound small but just being able to wash my clothes and have food whenever im hungry is such a BIG DEAL to me and its just a given here and im rolling around like WHAT IS THIS LMAO ALSO MY CATS HAVE MADE THEMSELVES AT HOME AND ARE SO HAPPY AND COMFY AND THEY PLAY EVERYDAY AND ARE REALLY ENJOYING THE STAIRS BC THEYVE NEVER EXPERIENCED STAIRS BEFORE LMAO AND EVERYONE HERE LOVES TO PET AND CUDDLE THEM!!! \QUQ/ IM SO HAPPY!!! <3<3

TLDR: MY SISTER MOVED ME INTO HER BIG HOUSE IN VA W ALL 4 OF MY CATS AND THINGS ARE GOING GREAT \QUQ/

#clown honks #WHAT A SAGA #also i havent heard from my mom since i left but i did leave a note!

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eteru-roses · 7 months ago

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Incorrect quotes!!

idea courtesy of @nrcbookclub

ocs featured: @castaway-achlys @rubysandviper @inotonline @the-possum-of-rsa

Incorrect quotes

1.Rida: What are you drinking?

Atamai: Vodka.

Rida: Straight?

Atamai: No, gay. Why?

❀

2. Rida: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Rida: And I started thinking.

Rida: Like, it was just trying to get food.

Rida: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?

Atamai: Are you ok?

❀

3.Castor: The stars are so beautiful...

Atamai : They're just giant balls of gas.

Castor: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Atamai : And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Castor: Oh...

❀

4.Castor: I fell—

Atamai : From heaven?

Castor: No, I literally fell—

Atamai : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Castor: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Atamai : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

❀

5.Atamai : I’d kill someone if you asked me to.

Castor: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

❀

6.Atamai : I want to kiss you.

Castor, not paying attention: What?

Atamai : I said if you die, I wont miss you.

❀

7.Castor: Look, I know we don’t always see eye to eye but—

Atamai : Thats because your too short to do so.

Castor: ...Listen here you fucking—

❀

8.Castor: You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Atamai : Awww, thanks-

Castor: That’s not a good thing.

Atamai : All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

❀

9'.Atamai , holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was your age… fine dining.

Rida : Fix yourself.

❀

10.Atamai : Do crabs think people walk sideways?

Rida : ...Atamai , what the hell.

❀

11.Rida : I'm gonna nickname my child "Lil Bitch".

Atamai : I see you're passing on your name.

❀

12.Rida: You call it "really bad at darts", I call it "freestyle acupuncture."

Bartender: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave the bar.

❀

13.Atamai : Wow, they really hate us.

Castor: Yes, perhaps they’re homophobic.

Atamai : But we’re not gay, Castor.

Castor:

Atamai :

Castor: We’re not?

❀

14.Rida: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry.

Atamai : Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Rida: You have to teach Ck how to drive.

Atamai : ...put the band-aid back on.

❀

15.Ck: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise.

Atamai : What's the surprise?

Rida: Blood poisoning.

❀

16.Store Worker: Would a “Atamai ” please come to the front desk?

Atamai , arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Rida and Ck: I believe they belong to you?

Rida and Ck, simultaneously: We got lost.

Atamai : I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

❀

17.castor walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: atamai , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

atamai , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

❀

18.Jamil: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Chiyo: Explain.

Jamil: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

C.K.: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?

Jamil:

Jamil: That's just another highlight!

❀

19.C.K.: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help.

Atamai : I went to the park today.

C.K.: There you go! I hope you got something from that.

Atamai : *opening their coat* This duck.

❀

20.Jamil: The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem.

❀

21.Jamil: Thought I was meowing back at my cat for the past hour, but it was just me and Chiyo meowing at each other from different rooms in the house.

❀

22.Jamil: Why is there blood everywhere?

Rida: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.

Jamil: You stabbed someone?!

Rida: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.

❀

23.Rida: Want to hear a hard riddle?

C.K.: Sure.

Rida: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

C.K.: ...down?

Rida: N-

Jamil: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Rida:

Rida: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...

❀

24.Chiyo: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Jamil: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Jamil: Would you like me to tutor you?

Rida: That was smooth.

❀

25.Chiyo: Hey, Rida?

Rida, playing a video game with the squad: What?

Chiyo: Can I share something with you from earlier today?

Rida: Wh- what is it, Chiyo?

Chiyo: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning.

Rida: Mhm.

Chiyo: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend?

Rida: Yeah?

Chiyo: Your response.

Rida: *trying not to crack up*

Chiyo: At 9:30 in the morning.

Chiyo: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit"

Rida: *laughing*

Chiyo: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization.

Rida: You just made me dieeee...

Chiyo: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now."

Chiyo: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you.

Chiyo: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man"

Rida: *wheezing with laughter*

Chiyo: I respond "Rida, you're scaring me." An hour passes-

Chiyo: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg"

Chiyo: "im very tired"

Rida: *struggling to breathe*

Chiyo: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Rida, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-"

Chiyo: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later,

Chiyo: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook"

Chiyo: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later,

Rida: *falling over with laughter*

Chiyo: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

❀

26.Atamai : Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Jamil: Throw rocks at he.

Rida: Hot Dogs.

Chiyo: Kill him.

Atamai : Thanks guys.

(^when he was trying to confess to castor)

❀

27.Atamai : When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think.

Jamil: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen.

Atamai : Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese?

Chiyo: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

❀

Have fun giggling. i numbered them so you can talk about which are the funniest :3

rida is very chaotic and in fact has criminal records(arson)

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shadyhouse · 2 months ago

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im really really sick of struggling with finances so hard like im really feeling like my life is spiralling out of control suddenly, finding a new job is an absolute nightmare. like im going to a job interview today but i am 100% expecting them to tell me they only pay like $10/hr or something. its gonna be a total waste of time. like even when i find a job and go to an interview theres SOMETHING that makes it so its impossible.

i went to an interview recently where on the indeed listing they said the shifts start at 9am but in reality shifts start at 4am????? i can barely get out of bed enough as it is at my current job where i have to WAKE UP at 4am to get there in time for 6am, i dont even have access to a car on top of everything!!! im forced to work at places that are within my bus route, which is like.... nothing. nothing at all. retail and food service and warehouses and nothing else.

i THOUGHT i was gonna start a career at my last job being a dog groomer but that was a nightmare too!!! my coworkers and boss did not like me and they actively discriminated against me bc i was the only man there and im also trans and they thought that was hilarious. they treated me very differently than how they treat all other men. they said the most awful shit about me both when i wasnt there and when i was right in the room!!! i was responsible for more work than all of them combined but none of that ever mattered and i was even paid a lower wage than other people who got hired around the same time as me. i found out about it and told the manager. they fucking cut my hours after that. like this is the kind of thing ive had to deal with for YEARS at various jobs like i just want to be treated fairly at work!!!!!

the job interview i have today is for dog grooming (bathing 🙄) too but at a different place bc i figure if im going to be miserable at work i mind as well do something that makes me feel like im doing something important at least. and something that i know how to do somewhat confidently. maybe itll work out. maybe not .... i just need SOMETHING to go right in my professional life bc i cannot keep doing morning shifts at a gas station 😭😭

#sorry venting a little abt work stuff and finances i just need to yell into the void #my diary entry for today i guess

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casspurrjoybell-33 · 11 months ago

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Wreckless - Arcade Games

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett Locke and Finnegan Walker spent the next hour talking and probably being a little bit too loud but the food, beer and company were all good. None of them really had all that much to drink since they'd split the pitcher four ways but they'd decided to play a few games in the arcade anyway, mostly to extend the evening. Emmett really wanted to finish a match in air hockey but he saw Finnegan's eyes glance all around the room and then land on the racing game which was surprisingly empty.

"Want to race?"

"Yes, show me how this contraption works?"

It seemed fairly safe, he knew how to drive and knew the general point of the game was probably to not crash but there were a lot of buttons and two pedals.

"Sure, darling."

He slid into the seat and fished some coins out of his pocket.

"You can put it on auto shift, that lever there, or if you know how to drive a stick and really want to be fancy, you can leave it."

The game started beeping the countdown quickly and he wasn't sure he could pause it.

"Try to stay in between the lines and don't turn left on red," he teased and then they were off.

"Gas it coming out of the curves," he added when he saw Finnegan skidding behind him.

During the first few laps he had to think too much to consider this game any fun but by the third time, his brain was taking over and doing some of it by instinct. He sped up a little bit, knowing he probably wouldn't catch Emmett but that didn't mean he wanted to be last, either. Just before he went into the big turn, three cars got a little too close and two of them shot towards the rail, flipping over and bursting into flames.

"NO. Shit," Emmett lamented.

"That totally wasn't my fault."

"Was that you?" Finnegan asked, not daring to glance over at Emmett's screen.

"Yes, damn it. Okay, fine, I'm gonna catch you, Finnegan."

Then it really got fun.

"No you're not."

He did his best to concentrate, sticking out his tongue a little bit and leaning towards the screen, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. He was doing really well but Emmett had the ability to shift and he used it, taking the turn faster than he usually did and pulling past Finnegan by a car length.

"No fair," Finnegan whined, pushing even harder on the gas pedal that was already completely depressed.

They shot over the finish line and their times and scores flashed up on the screen.

"Eighth, that sucks."

"Not for your first game it doesn't."

"There are only ten cars, Emmett."

Finnegan was awfully competitive and a little bit hard on himself.

"It's just a game," Emmett replied.

"Do you want a rematch?"

At least three or four and to play every other game in here too but it was dangerous.

"I do but I should get going. It's been a long day and I'm tired, sorry. The beer didn't help that situation any."

He slowly climbed out of the racing seat and stretched, not quite able to stifle his yawn.

"Sleepy boy, let me walk you out," Emmett offered.

"Okay."

On the way out he stopped to say goodbye to Tristan and Peter. They were playing air hockey and Tristan looked ridiculous because he had one hand try to hold his hair out of his way so he could see. He scored, smiling and turning towards Finnegan.

"You can't leave yet, I've really got to pee, could you play my turn? he spit out rapid-fire, practically shoving the paddle at Finnegan.

Peter let him off the hook.

"We can just wait he gets back, unless you want to play, it doesn't matter to me."

Emmett held out his hand, silently asking Finnegan for the paddle.

"Let me at him."

They were still going at it when Tristan returned, the puck flying back and forth and the clanging almost deafening even in the loud arcade. Tristan wasn't above cheating just a little bit. He rolled forward onto his tiptoes and leaned over to whisper in Peter's ear.

"Sorry, sir, I just couldn't help it."

Peter sucked in a deep breath and the puck went flying past him, clanging into the goal.

"You're going to pay for that, kitten."

He turned towards Emmett.

"Looks like we're leaving too."

"Promises, promises."

Tristan smiled at Peter and gave Finnegan a hug.

"Get my phone-number from your man," he told him and then retrieved his paddle from Emmett.

Working Peter up was fun but watching him this way was even better. He decided to stretch it out a few minutes.

"Can't we finish the game first, please?"

Peter pursed his lips, sighed and nodded.

"See you two soon, have fun."

As soon as they stepped outside, Finnegan knew he had to ask now or he'd forget.

"How do you know Andy?"

He wasn't exactly sure how to describe his friendship with Andy.

"We went to high school together. We weren't super close then but between lots of them moving or going to college and me coming out and joining the Army and being deployed overseas for years, most of my friends disappeared. Andy, somehow, stuck around."

A sharp, cold wind blew across the large parking lot and he reached down and opened Finnegan's door. The temperature had plummeted once the sun went down and neither of them were dressed for this.

"Drive safe and text me when you get home. If you want to do anything tomorrow after church, give me a call."

Friday morning he'd been forced to delay going into full operation until Wednesday so he wasn't planning on doing any work tomorrow but that didn't mean he wanted to get dressed and leave his apartment either.

"Okay. I'm not sure yet so don't sit around waiting for me. Thanks for tonight, I had fun."

More fun than he could remember having in years but he didn't want to push it. He'd been needy enough tonight although no one had seemed to mind. Still, he'd need tomorrow to get ready for next week. Emmett was relieved.

"I'm glad this counted as fun. I enjoyed it too."

"Am I allowed to kiss you here?" Finnegan asked, remembering Emmett's warning about doing anything in public near his house.

"Probably better if we don't. Next time, let me pick you up."

That sounded good.

"I will. Bye Emmett."

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thebigpalooka · 2 years ago

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lol nobody follows me for this but I need to get it out of my system, I have never been as pissed about an OW nerf as I am about them nerfing Mercy's GA and I’m gonna rant below the cut and then be DONE.

LOL genuinely cannot fathom what is wrong with the devs. They rebalance Mercy's healing AND self-heal passive to incentivize triaging players under 50% HP, but at the same time, hugely nerf her mobility and bug-out button, therefore punishing her way more heavily for risk-taking or being out of position. It also makes rez even more clunky, and more likely to be a trade-off of Mercy's life for whoever she tries to save.

Mercy has always been hugely dependent on her teammates, both for impact and survivability, but god, this just strips her agency so fucking badly, as well as absolutely gutting the one part of her kit that is fun to play. Yes, Mercy is - WAS very slippery, which was core to her kit as well as the main value she provided. A change like this just ensures that she's free food for Tracer and Genji and Sombra and Winston and DVA and literally anyone else who can follow her through exactly one GA. And god help you if you're trying to use GA to keep up with your DPS; it is now Getting Abandoned Hours. Punished for getting too close, punished for not getting close enough, and they nerf the one survival skill she has - which by the way, was in the place of the self-defense literally every other support has in the way of either burst heal, knockback, or damage. Mercy has NONE of that, and now doesn’t have GA either.

And so far as that goes, I'm extra pissed at big streamers showing videos of her 'tanking a Bob' during Valk, as if that's at all applicable to most players. No team below diamond is ever going to have the situational awareness to stand out in the open in a nice group so Mercy can get max heal boost during a Bob or Visor, and even they did, if Soldier decides to just focus Mercy, which he absolutely always has done and will continue to do, she's fucked.

So they nerf her GA, ALSO nerf her passive healing regen, and all her fancy new "burst" heal is completely useless if you just focus her first, which they helpfully made much easier to do. So. Respawn Simulator pick, I guess.

Finally, because Mercy gets pointed at as a low-skill hero all the time, I just wanna say once that - yeah, I know. That’s why I like her. My game awareness, while not remarkable, is far better than my mechanical skill/aim, and it feels/felt really good to play a hero who could, on some level, reward you for paying attention to multiple things at once.

Anyway, that's all. I am so fucking disappointed, especially because I was genuinely excited about Season 3 for like two seconds. I'd honestly be interested in, or at the least accepting of, her other kit changes too, if this nerf wasn't so massive and disastrous. Really have no enthusiasm for playing her at all unless things get re-examined which is just ... man, it makes me sad. Anyway, thanks for your time.

#overwatch 2 #mercy #ramble don't open

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hug-your-face · 10 months ago

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The amount of waste inherent in corporations is staggering.

Most of it is invisible, untracked, unaccounted for. And no I am not talking about "time theft." I'm talking about some not-entirely-obvious wastes like

Coordination costs -- the non-value added effort to gather, collate, distribute, and make sense of information just to have a shared fucking picture of reality between different departments

Transaction costs from multitasking -- the non-value added effort to start and stop working on something. The more often you switch between YouTube channels, the more time you spend watching ads.

Defects -- Didn't have time to do it right the first time lol, now it's gonna take time to do it over!

Overprocessing -- Oh you did it already? Well I did it too. We need more meetings to prevent this kind of thing in the future. (Hello again, Coordination Cost!)

Work waiting due to poor flow efficiency -- Everyone is busy multitasking and working overtime... but meanwhile the thing is still sitting here waiting for someone to finish it and move it to the next step.

These non-value added activities cost time. Whenever someone does them, their time has to be compensated. So all this waste costs money. Lots of it. Millions a year for a midsize company.

And none of it is on the books. People don’t WANT to see it.

Because all of these wasteful behaviors come from so-called "common sense."

"Well we need meetings to all be on the same page"

"Oh the thing can't be worked on? You can't just sit idle and wait until the thing is ready to work on, go work on something else! Hey why are you working on that thing when the first thing is more important?!"

"We can't wait to do it perfectly, ship it now!"

"Better safe than sorry; maybe someone else did it but why don’t you just do it anyway."

"We can't have idle workers! That's wasteful!"

The majority of corporations larger than 20 or so people are like cars that get 6 miles to the gallon. But you never get to KNOW what the MPG rating of the car is. So managers and execs shrug, and say "well we gotta cut costs somewhere if we are gonna pay for gas to drive to see grandma this year, so I guess it's no food or hotels during our 4-day road trip."

My job (and that of my colleagues) is to help companies fix these issues. From about 2004--2020, more and more companies were starting to realize that this hidden waste, their "poor gas mileage" was their real problem. So they invested in getting better.

Always, the first challenge was helping them set up their business so that they could even SEE this waste (remember, it's all untracked and unaccounted for and invisible). Once they could see it, even then it was a challenge to get them to change their behavior. See above: "common sense."

These companies didn't engage us because they were on a self-improvement kick. They did it because it would help them cut out the waste and make better profits. They rarely believed this at first (see above: "common sense). But they knew that their competitors were trying to improve efficiency, so they should too.

It's 2024 and Automation, not efficiency or invisible-waste-reduction, is the New Magic Profit Button. Who needs efficiency when you have Automation? I'm watching my colleagues around the world struggle to stay relevant and find clients who want to reduce waste.

The amount of waste that is going to be baked-in to so many corporations is -- I suspect -- soon going to exceed pre-2004 levels. Automation makes things happen faster, with less oversight. Including non-value-added work.

*pant, pant, pant*

I'm so sorry to go all consultantblr on yall. Thank you for your patience if you've read this far.

But OP is right, and never forget it:

They don't want to pay people to do the work.

Also? So many of them are pissing money away in hidden waste every day.

Do NOT go along with the corporate lingo. Normalize holding corporations accountable. "Before you say you cannot pay your workers fairly, show us what have you done to find and improve the wasteful processes within your operating model."

We should really not go along with the corporate lingo on these shifts to automation and AI. Always remember this: They don't want to pay people to do the work.

Companies aren't replacing cashiers with self-scan machines for the customer's convenience. They don't want to pay people to do the work.

Companies aren't using AI to produce a better product. The product produced by AI is notably inferior - they just don't want to pay people to do the work.

Corporate America is not hurting for money. It's not that they can't afford employees -- profits are soaring! They just don't want to pay people to do the work.

#truth #corporate bullshit #living wage #capitalism #consultant rant #Face goes off and foams at the mouth #ref

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hoe-for-underrated-characters · 3 years ago

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chick-fil-a parking lot || robby keene - nsfw

prompt: you and robby go on a roadtrip and he threatens to "put you in your place" every couple dozen miles along the five hundred mile trip.

warnings: sexual intercourse (p in v), praise kink, degradation, car sex, female pronouns, hand job (female receiving), unprotected sex, semi-public sex, dom/sub dynamics if you squint, mention of religion. let me know if i forgot anything.

lowercase intended and second person pov

"i can't believe i let you talk me into this." you smile. "it's over five hundred miles."

"calm down, the bryce canyon national park is beautiful and it will all be worth it." he says, pulling out of the driveway. "every single mile."

"okay, when we get there, we might have to fuck. that's a long time without sex."

he smirks. "how about this: i will fuck you in the backseat every couple dozen miles until we get there?"

your jaw drops.

"you'll have zero swimmers left, babe! you cannot fuck that much. that's like twenty times." you point out.

"don't test me, baby." he says, making you laugh. "we'll stop soon at mcdonalds or something to get a quick breakfast."

"sounds great."

"i'll buy." you both say simultaneously.

he smiles. "seriously, i will buy."

"robby, you're paying for most of the gas, the least i could do is buy you food." you point out.

"fine, fine." he huffs. he always hates it when you pay for food. and he hates it even more when you win.

about ten miles down the road, robby's hand snakes up your leg.

"it hasn't been a couple dozen miles yet, sir." you say sarcastically.

"i said that we would fuck every twenty four miles or so. is this fucking?"

"no." your voice gets lost somehow as he finally reaches your pussy, after what felt like an eternity.

"i can feel you." he states.

"wh-what?"

"i can feel how wet you are. how hot and bothered you are for me."

"robby, please, just-" you cut yourself off when his fingers dip into your shorts.

"holy shit, baby, you're fuckin' dripping."

you throw your head back and it sinks into the leather of the head rest slightly as he circles your clit with his middle and ring finger.

"such a slut for my touch, aren't you?" he teases.

you nod quickly and slide off your shorts.

"i can't hear head nods, sweetheart."

"yes, i'm a slut for your touch."

he buries his fingers inside cunt and slides them in and out. your wetness creates a clicking sound that fills the car, but it's slightly muffled between the air conditioning and your underwear that's in the way. at this point, he just needs to rip them off of you.

your hands grip the hand rest on the car door and the middle console. "fuck, keep going, i'm gonna cum."

"cum for me, my love. you're such a good girl."

and you lost it. you feel the bubble in your stomach finally burst and you cum on his fingers.

he removes his fingers. they graze your oversensitive clit, making your hips jerk.

he takes them in his mouth, sucking them so that none of your cum is left. "fuck, you taste delicious, baby girl."

his boner is now more prominent than before. his pants had to be straining his cock.

"i-is it at twenty four miles yet?"

"nah, you got seven more to go."

"shit."

♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎

after you eat breakfast at chick-fil-a instead of mcdonalds, you head out to the car.

"babe, i don't know if we should have sex, i'm too full." you say, placing a hand on your stomach.

"it isn't like you do the work." he smirks and you smile sarcastically.

"ha ha, very funny."

"i think you can take it." he whispers and he opens the door to the backseats.

you groan internally. you know after you'll be knocked out, between the good food and the even better fuck.

for the second time, you take off your shorts and he admires your lace underwear.

"if it's easier, you can leave your shorts and underwear off."

"we're actually having sex in the chick-fil-a parking lot?" you question.

"yeah... we could go to the bathroom and do it if you're scared someone will see." he knocks his knuckle against the window. "but they're tinted."

"but this is a christian facility, robby. it's the place of the Lords chicken."

he laughs, causing you to smile. "we aren't doing anything blasphemous, (y/n)."

"yeah, yeah, just shut up and fuck me so i can take a nap."

"you really sound like an old lady." he teases.

"i'm full." you whine.

he lowers his pants and underwear, and his hardened cock is ready to be inside you.

he hisses at the air hits his tip.

"babe, can you turn on the air? we'll suffocate before we can cum."

he reaches for the ac and cranks it up on full blast.

"if you get too cold, let me know. i'll fix it." he winks. yeah he isn't talking about the air.

he wettens his fingers with his spit and rubs it against you.

he slowly pushes his cock into you, making you gasp.

"no foreplay?" you tease since he's the king of foreplay.

"it's not exactly roomie in here."

he bottoms out, groaning.

"still as tight as the first time i deflowered you." he says, making you blush, remembering that night.

he rocks his hips and he rests his forearm on the gap between each head rest, the other he uses to wrap around you.

"please, robby, please."

his pelvis brushes up against your clit, sending electricity through you.

"fuck. needy little slut."

"if-if you keep hitting it, i'll cum too soon." you say as he flawlessly hits your g-spot over and over.

"well, if you keep squeezing my cock like that, i'll cum too soon as well." he retorts and kisses you.

"fuck!" you moan into the kiss.

he rubs your clit. "you gonna cum?"

"yes! yes, i'm gonna cum."

"cum for me, my good girl."

you claw at his shoulders as you cum for him for the second time this morning.

"fuck, good girl. squeezing my cock, feels fucking amazing."

he grunts as he unloads his cum into you, making you moan at the sensation.

you regain your breath.

"is that as far as that air will go up?" you ask, breathless and sweating.

he nods. he watches you push his cum out, and he moans, his cock hardening again.

"no, no, not again." you whine. "no more for right now."

"how am i supposed to fuck you every twenty four miles if you act like that?"

your eyes widen. "wait, you were actually serious?"

"yes."

#robby keene #cobra kai #smut

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 4 years ago

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If I Fell For You (Part 1) - The Nanny

Summary: The reader interviews for a new live-in nanny position with Jensen and quickly gets the job but she starts to slowly see that her new employer is going to be different than any other she’s had before...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Square: Slow Burn

Word Count: 4,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of death of a spouse/death of a parent

A/N: Please enjoy the first part of this series! This was also written for @supernatural-jackles Tell Me A Story Bingo!

________

If someone had said you’d be celebrating your 30th birthday by accepting an interview to be a live in nanny when you were a kid, you would have told them they were nuts. Beyond nuts. Beyond help for that matter.

But there you were. Thirty. Single. Childless. Taking care of other people’s families and not doing much else with your life. You weren’t sure if your mom would have been on you about the no kids thing or the no boyfriend thing more to be honest.

But the pay was normally good and sometimes great and it gave you a taste of family, even if you were just the help to the adults most of the time.

You buzzed the button by the gate at the end of the driveway, a brief moment passing before it opened. It was probably on a timer like most of the people you’d worked for before, an alarm system kicking on at some point in the evening that required a buzz in, the code or a car sensor. You drove down the driveway and parked a little behind a black SUV. The house was a little modern, a little grand, a little overwhelming. A fence and lots of trees surrounded the property. The yard appeared large but you could see houses on either side. Private but suburban.

The cadillac wasn’t a shocker. Most everyone in these neighborhoods had Escalades. You walked past an open garage on the way up, a muscle car and a more modest smaller SUV parked inside. You went up the very short path and stepped up, ringing the doorbell and fixing your shirt. You were in jeans and a plain gray shirt. It was your normal wear for chasing small children around all day and you weren’t a fan of uniforms.

“Hi,” said a very tired, very handsome man as he opened the door. “You must be from Nanny Core.”

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N from Home Pair,” you said with a smile. He shut his eyes and leaned his head against the door.

“The last girl was from Nanny Core,” he said. He blinked them open and shook his head. “I’m so sorry. Yes, Y/N. You’re the one that’s a consultant, not firmly associated with Home Pair, right?”

“Correct,” you said as he opened the door more and you stepped inside.

“Can I ask what the distinction is?”

“Mostly it has to do with benefits,” you said. “Consultants pay out of pocket for their own or negotiate with their client for those to be covered.”

“Gotcha,” he yawned. You looked ahead and he wiped his hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I must seem like an ass.”

“You seem tired is all Mr. Ackles. Not a crime,” you said with a smile. He nodded and he returned it, no fake cheesiness to it.

“Mind if we do the interview in the kitchen over a cup of coffee?” he asked.

“Wherever you like, sir,” you said. You took off your shoes when you noticed he didn’t wear any inside and he chuckled as you walked back farther into the house.

“Uh, for the record, call me Jensen. None of that sir stuff. They must teach that at nanny school or something huh?” he said, motioning to a table. “I noticed all of you do it.”

“Something like that,” you said. You took a seat and watched him go to a coffee machine, fumbling with it before he spilled some ground coffee on the counter. He shut his eyes and gripped the counter’s edge, taking a deep breath to himself. “How about I make the coffee and you take a seat, hm?”

“I’m okay,” he said as he opened his eyes.

“Well making you coffee is probably going to come up in my job quite a bit so consider this part of the interview. It’s alright, really,” you said. He glanced over to you and you smiled.

“Thank you,” he said. You swapped places with him and got him a cup going, taking a mug off the counter and waiting a beat before liquid started pouring out. “I’m gonna ask you the same question I’ve asked all seven other women I’ve talked to today.”

“Yes?”

“Why should I trust you to watch my children?”

“Honestly?” you asked as he nodded. You smiled and carried the cup over to him, Jensen taking a long sip. “You shouldn’t.”

“I shouldn’t. That seems counterproductive.”

“I wouldn’t trust any stranger with my child. Trust is earned, not given. I think the real question is do you believe I’m capable of earning that trust with you and that’s something intrinsically only you know.”

“How so?”

“You meet a lot of different kinds of people with this job. My gut reaction to you is stressed, overwhelmed, sleep-deprived father who doesn’t really want any nanny at all but is forced into this situation. It’s going to be impossible for you to trust any of the seven woman from earlier or me off the bat, Jensen. You should be thinking of who will you come to trust. Who can you count on.”

“This is why my wife should have been the one doing this,” he said, smiling to himself as he drunk down most of the hot liquid.

“We could always re-schedule for when she’s available.”

“Oh, we’d have to wait a very long time for that,” he chuckled. He sat the mug down and glanced down briefly, smiling as he looked up. “She passed away unexpectedly six months ago. Car accident.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” you said. He nodded and made a face like he wanted to make a comment. “My mom died kinda unexpectedly. I know it’s...harder.”

“You’re young. How old?”

“Turned thirty today,” you said. He laughed and you heard the life behind it, Jensen shaking his head.

“Well Happy Birthday. I meant with your mother though. If that’s okay with you I mean.”

“It’s fine. I was sixteen,” you said.

“That...fucking sucks doesn’t it?”

“So does losing your wife,” you said.

“Yes it does. I’ve grieved. We all have. The kids are small. They’ll be okay.”

“Is dad okay?” you asked.

“Yes. Ready to start moving on with life again,” he said with a soft smile. “You’re kind. Not in a I’m trying to get this job kind of way. Just kind.”

“Well being cruel doesn’t sound like very much fun,” you said.

“You’re not trying to impress me.”

“The first rule of nannying, Jensen. You think you’re interviewing us when in reality we’re interviewing you too.”

“How am I doing so far?”

“Nice coffee choice,” you said with a smile that he nodded at. “You respect people. You’ll employ me but won’t treat me like I’m second class. You’re checking the boxes so far.”

“What if I don’t check all the boxes?”

“You don’t get to know the luxury of knowing the answer yet, Mr. Ackles,” you said. “Interview isn’t over.”

“You got fucked over by somebody, didn’t you.”

“Also perceptive,” you said. “Like I said, I don’t tolerate being treated unkindly anymore. It’s why I left my last position.”

“I have one more question,” he said. “Would you treat my children like they’re your own?”

“Again, asking the wrong question,” you said. He sat back and crossed his arms, smirking at you.

“What exactly should I be asking?”

“Will you treat my children kindly and with respect but take charge when required?”

“What’s the difference?”

“One is me doing my job and the other is me doing yours.”

“How old did you say you were again?”

“Thirty today.”

“Right. Well I think I know where I stand. Do you have anything for me?”

“Can you show me a picture of your kids?” you asked. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. “You answered my question.”

“I didn’t show you anything yet.”

“You’d be surprised how many fathers I’ve met don’t carry pictures of their children in their wallets. That one is just a me thing.”

“Your dad do that?” he asked as he tucked it away.

“Maybe,” you said with a shrug. He was polite enough to not go down that route though and this was already getting more personal than you anticipated. “I think I know where I stand as well.”

“I’d like to hire you,” he said.

“Assuming our negotiations go well, I accept,” you said. He held out his hand over the table and you shook it.

“I did come up with what I thought was fair for salary and benefits. Let me go grab the paperwork and hopefully settle on something,” he said. He excused himself and you looked around the house, already trying to familiarize yourself with things. He was more relaxed when he returned with some papers and a notebook, handing you a few sheets. “If I’m missing anything let me know. I-”

“This is my weekly rate?” you asked when you saw the number at the top of the page.

“Oh no. That’s your daily,” he said as he took a seat. “So I think that’s-”

“Jensen,” you said, pushing the paper back. “I have to ask, things like insurance, are those coming out of your pocket or mine?”

“I’ll cover the expenses of your health, dental, all of that. You just choose and I’ll subsize it as part of your paycheck,” he said.

“This is for a live in position. Um...can you just...explain what makes up that daily rate number?” you asked.

“It’s simply your base pay. Obviously I pay for housing, utilities, gas obviously. I will get you a credit card to make purchases with for the kids and all of that so it’s simple to keep track of. You’re free to any of the food in the kitchen. I’m guessing the salary is the sticking point here.”

“Jensen,” you said as you scratched your head.

“I can go up fifty more dollars a day.”

“Jensen. This is way, way too much money. Way too much,” you said. “The average rate around here is about twenty five an hour or two hundred a day. Jensen this is double that. Are you factoring in like time and a half for additional nights and weekends?”

“No. That’d be on top of that. I thought that was a fair value based on the fact you are going to be taking care of the most valuable things in my life. It’s gonna get taxed too so it’s not like you see all of it.”

“You’re sweet, Jensen,” you said, writing down a number at the top of the page. “The average in Austin is twenty five an hour. I would be very happy with that.”

“You have to literally be the first person in existence to negotiate their salary down from the offer,” he said.

“Are you rejecting my offer?” you asked. He took the paper and crossed your number out, jotting down his own and spinning it back. “Jensen.”

“Y/N,” he said, crossing his arms. “I came down. Now it’s your turn. Do you accept?”

You knew thirty five was still way overpriced for the job, especially considering everything else he was paying for.

“I will accept on the condition that you get four hours of what we’d call evening or weekend at the normal rate ever week.”

“I can agree to that,” he said with a smile, writing that down. “So medical plan. Single, plus one, family?”

“Single for all that,” you said.

“I should mention that there is an in-law suite off to the other side of the garage where you’ll be staying. It’s just down the hall but it has its own small living area and kitchenette. There is a separate entrance to it. If you have guests over I just ask you keep them to your area of the house,” he said.

“Absolutely. I don’t tend to bring people over much anyways while I’m on the job,” you said. He let you read over the rest of the benefits, a good amount of sick and vacation time too. Technically you were free evenings and weekends but he could ask you to work longer if he needed you and you were available. Overall everything seemed in order. “Alright. Everything looks good to me.”

“Awesome. Are you available to start Monday?” he asked.

“Sure,” you said. “It gives me plenty of time to move in things tomorrow so I can jump into the kids routine first thing Monday.”

“Perfect,” he said. “I’ll show you around. We can start with your side of the house.” You got up and followed him over to near the front door and down a long hallway, past a set of doors. There was a frosted glass one to your left just before he pushed open a wide white one.

Behind it was a living area and kitchen. Not huge, about the size of a small apartment. There was a TV and sectional, a table tucked against the wall and a kitchenette like he’d mentioned with full size appliances.

“Like I said, I know it’s small. Please like, seriously watch TV out in the family room at night if you want or hang out wherever or the yard or pool. This is just your own space when you want to be away from us.” You hummed and he showed you a closet and then a bedroom and bathroom. It was simple but decorated nicely and looked relaxing. “If there’s something obvious I’m missing please let me know. A cleaning service does come by every two weeks on Tuesdays at around ten in the morning. They’ll do in here too. Otherwise you can keep after yourself. Cleaning stuff is in the laundry room. Oh yeah. Um, this is probably the last time I’ll like, ever come in here unless you need help moving things in since this will be your space.”

“Thanks. I don’t have too much. I do have one request before we sign all the paperwork.”

“What’s that?”

“I’d like to meet the kids if that’s alright. There’s not much point in hiring me if they hate me.”

“Fair point. We’ll get ‘em over here and then get you all squared away.”

Monday Morning

“Good morning,” you said, a cup of coffee in your hand already as Jensen yawned.

“Morning,” he mumbled. His hair was a mess and he was in only a pair of boxer briefs before he paused and looked down. “I should probably put on some clothes.”

“This is your house. Wear whatever you normally would. Pretend I’m invisible,” you said as you poured a cup of coffee into a mug for him.

“Sounds like you worked for some real assholes,” he said, graciously taking the cup. “As long as it doesn’t bother you, me walking around in my undies.”

“No, not at all,” you said with a smile. “Would you like me to drop the kids off at school and daycare this morning?”

“Sure,” he said. “Car keys are on the table by the garage.”

“Okay great. I’m used to driving that kind of SUV,” you said. You snuck a look at your schedule you’d printed out again, knowing the twins would get need to get picked up around noon. You started to work on their lunches and snacks for the day while he took out the carton of eggs from the fridge. He cracked one into a pan and turned the heat on, yawning again as he got out some bread and threw it on a plate. “Would you like me to make lunch for you as well?”

“No thank you. I’m getting lunch with my manager today. You don’t have to make me coffee in the morning either, Y/N. Your job is to take care of the kids, not me,” he said.

“A cup of coffee is not difficult, Jensen. My job is to help you so if I can make dad’s life a smidge easier it’ll make theirs better too,” you said with a smile.

“You’re not like, a morning person are you,” he chuckled. “I don’t do peppy in the morning.”

“Oh no. I’m always a little nervous when I start a new job. I’ll get a rhythm down soon,” you said.

“So what do you normally do once the kids are dropped off?” he asked as he got out a spatula.

“On a weekday I’ll review their schedule, see if anything different is going on. An average day like today I will clean their rooms, their bathroom, do some laundry while they’re at school, maybe some shopping. I’ll pick up the twins, bring them home for lunch, a little playtime, a nap. We’ll have some quiet time and maybe a craft or coloring before we get JJ from school. Then I’ll give them all a snack, we can get outside and play to get some energy out. I’ll help JJ with any schoolwork she has while the twins play and then I will start on dinner about the time you’ll be getting home. Since you have no plans currently tonight I’ll leave you guys be at that point until tomorrow unless you ask me for help.”

“So when do you take a break?” he asked.

“Naptime. I’ll have lunch with the twins. Don’t worry about me Jensen. That’s my normal plan but if you would like me to run some errands in the morning I can,” you said.

“No, no. Just…” he trailed off. “I still want to make them breakfast and dinner and play with them too is all.”

“We’ll figure out the right mix of things,” you said. “You just gotta tell me is all, okay? It can vary day to day too,”

“Yeah,” he said, taking his fried egg out of the pan and placing it on one piece of bread. He made a sandwich and took a big bite, looking out the back window. “I never asked. How was your birthday?”

“Hm?” you hummed, dropping some carrots into a reusable bag.

“On Saturday you said it was your 30th. You do anything fun that night?” he asked with a soft smile.

“I got a new job. That was the highlight of my day,” you said, Jensen cocking his head. “I ordered pizza, binged netflix. My normal Saturday routine.”

“I know everybody jokes about 30 but it’s really just jokes. Wait until you’re 42,” he chuckled. “Then you really feel old.”

“Most 42 year olds would kill to look like you,” you said. You shut your eyes and shook your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so inappropriate.”

“It’s alright. I took it as a compliment,” he said, smiling again. “So you did nothing for your birthday, huh?”

“Uh, no,” you said, mixing in some grapes into each of the snack bags.

“I’m gonna get you a birthday cake,” he said.

“Mr. Ackles-”

“I thought I said it’s Jensen. I’m the boss so what I say goes. We’re gonna have a birthday cake for you tonight. So. What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Whatever you want is perfectly fine.”

“Y/N.”

“...I like red velvet,” you said. He smiled and chuckled.

“That was my wife’s favorite,” he said. “Haven’t had that since her birthday. She would have liked you.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. You’re quite kind to me. She was always protective of me, even if she was the scaredy cat most of the time.”

“Can I ask how…” you said as he took another bite.

“Accident. Tractor trailer versus her car. He tried to miss her but it was too late. I wanted to hate the guy too but it was an accident and I couldn’t blame him for that.”

“My father died in a car crash when I was six. It does get better with time,” you said.

“That’s why you didn’t know if he had a picture of you in his wallet or not,” he said as you nodded. “You’re too young to have that much tragedy in life.”

“So are you.”

“I’m not young anymore.”

“You’re young and overly generous,” you said with a smile.

“Misery loves company,” he said as you both heard a few feet above you running around. “Munchkins are up.”

“You want to make breakfast or should I?” you asked.

“Give me five minutes to get them in some clean clothes. Then I can show you how they like their eggs.”

“Sounds like a plan, Jensen.”

Later That Evening

“Y/N?” said Jensen, knocking on the door to your room. You got up from the couch and answered it, Jensen standing there with a smile. “The kids and I were wondering if you’d like your birthday cake for dessert.”

“You actually got me a cake?”

“I did indeed,” he said. You followed him down the hall and back into the living space, Arrow running up to you.

“Y/N! Are you sleeping over?” she asked as she gave you a hug.

“I live just down the hall now, cutie,” you said.

“Daddy, can we have ice cream too?” asked Zeppelin as he climbed up into his chair at the table.

“Sure thing bud. Girls, would you like some too?” he asked. Both the little ones said yes as he looked back at you.

“I really shouldn’t,” you said.

“We eat ice cream in this house,” he said.

“You don’t have to twist my arm over it,” you said. He got out the container and set it down on the table by the cake, lighting the match on the candle on top. “Oh please don’t-”

He started to sing though and the kids joined in, Jensen having a really good voice actually. You blew out the candle when they were through and he dished up some dessert for everyone.

“Y/N, can you read me a bedtime story later?” asked Zeppelin and you glanced at his father, Jensen making a face.

“Well Y/N’s not at work right now so she doesn’t have to unless she wants to,” said Jensen. “We’re already cutting into her-”

“I would love to, Zepp,” you said, his little face lighting up. “Maybe you guys want to join us?”

“JJ’s a little big to get read to at night I’ve been told,” said Jensen.

“Am not,” she said. “I can get a story too, right?”

“Of course,” you said. You took a bite of the cake and hummed. “This is really good.”

“I bought it myself,” said Jensen.

“Well you have good taste,” you said. “In fact, I’m gonna have another slice.”

“Good,” he said as Zeppelin grabbed the ice cream container. “Alright, alright. You can have a bit more, bud.”

“Night, JJ,” you said, getting a hug from her as you put her back to bed an hour later. JJ smiled from her bed and you flicked off the light, pulling the door shut after you turned on her night light.

“Thanks for giving up your night with them. I didn’t mean to have that happen,” said Jensen as you headed downstairs with him.

“It’s no problem. It’s good bonding for us,” you said. You helped him pick up the plates at the table and wash them off, Jensen grabbing a bottle of whiskey from a tall cabinet as you covered up what was left of the cake.

“Drink?” he asked.

“A small one,” you said. He poured a single into a whiskey glass and slid it over to you, smirking when you took a sip. “Oh that’s smooth.”

“Very,” he said, drinking from his own glass. “Thank you for tonight. JJ’s been…”

“She’s the oldest. She’s gonna have a harder time with it.”

“You were about her age when your dad died you said?”

“She’ll be okay. She’ll miss her but it won’t be a deep pain. She’ll have nice memories of her mom. She’s doing pretty good, trust me.”

“Can I ask another personal question?”

“I’m off the clock. Shoot,” you said.

“Your mom ever...try again with someone else?”

“Yes. Years later she found a good guy. He actually is who I stayed with after she passed. He’s married now, has some kids of his own but I know if I call him up he’d drop everything for me.”

“Good. I was getting afraid you were a complete Shakespeare tragedy,” he chuckled.

“Nah. I’m not at that level of crazy in my life,” you said. “As long as we’re off the clock, can I ask if you’re asking because you’re thinking of getting back out there?”

“I am. My wife kind of insisted on it. When we first got serious we had this deal that we’d go try again if something happened. I mean, I don’t cry everytime I think about her now. I can smile and be happy and that ache doesn’t try to swallow me up everyday anymore. I think it’s time I could get back out there.”

“I’d say it is. The kids are ready. They’ll understand.”

“You think your mom loved the second guy as much as your dad?”

“For sure. She was a bit of a free spirit but she didn’t think you had to have just one soulmate. She told me that after she’d met Ray. She said she got two so maybe I had two out there. I haven’t found either one of them yet so I’ll take increasing my odds as best I can.”

“Well you’re not gonna meet your soulmate sitting at home on Saturday nights, Y/N.”

“Just a lot of douchey guys,” you said.

“Ah. You need to meet a better kind of guy is all,” he said.

“Yeah see I’m thirty. All the good guys are married by now.”

“Oh all of them are taken. I didn’t realize that,” he said with a chuckle. “What am I then? Another douchebag?”

“You don’t count. You’re…”

“Too old for you?” he chuckled.

“My boss. Plus you’re like famous. You can go get like a victoria secret model or something.”

“Looks ain’t everything.”

“Maybe I ought to try older guys now that you say that,” you said.

“Y/N, you gotta be careful with that. I don’t want to see you get taken advantage of.”

“And this is why I watch netflix on Saturday nights,” you said.

“You serious about the older guy crack?” he asked.

“I do find them more...attractive sometimes. I guess it depends on how old. Why?”

“I got a friend my age, might be interested?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” you said. “No offense to your friend but...I mean if he’s 42...I want kids and stuff you know? Although a dude it doesn’t really matter how old...I don’t know.”

“It was just a thought,” he said with a smile.

“I’ll think about it,” you said. “He’s not a weirdo, right.”

“No. He’s an actor. Something to think about,” he said.

“I will,” you said. “Thank you for the birthday cake, Jensen. You’re a good person.”

“I bought a cake.”

“Yeah but I haven’t really had one of those in years. You’re a good person.”

“You’re very welcome,” he said as you slid off your seat. “You’re free to hang out if you like.”

“I’m kinda tired. I won’t be getting up that early from now on I don’t think.”

“I completely understand,” he said. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight Jensen.”

________

A/N: Read Part 2 here!

#tell me a story bingo #SPN #supernatural #jensen x reader #jensen acklees #jensen ackles au #rpf #jensen series #rpf series #jensen ackles x reader #spn fanfic #jensen fanfic #jensen ackles fanfic #supernatural fanfic

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maddiwrites · 4 years ago

Text

Secrets of the Shore (Chapter 1)

Pairing: Pogues x reader, eventually JJ x reader.

Summary: This is just my rewrite of the show Outer Banks with my own twist by adding another main character which also happens to be John B’s twin sister.

Note: Hey guys! Thank you so much for the support of my last couple of fics. All your messages have been so kind and so sweet! I’ve made a rewrite of the show with a new character that eventually falls in love with her best friend. I’m gonna be posting a new chapter three times a week. Let me know what you guys think!

Word Count: 4.3k

Warnings: None

Chapter 2

"That's what, a three-story fall to the deck?" John B tip toes across the middle of the roof as he sips out of the can of beer in his hand.

I lean to my right, pressing against JJ's shoulder as we sit on a construction slack used to hold construction workers as they work on the siding of the home. Scaffolding, I think it's called. I narrow my eyes at my brother, counting down the seconds until he falls.

"I give you about a one-in-three chance of survival," Pope jokes from the deck below us.

John B shrugs. He licks his finger and holds it up in the air as if he's feeling which way the wind is blowing. "Hm. Should I do it?"

"Yeah, jump." Pope holds up a power drill and points it at John B like it's a gun. "I'll shoot you on the way down."

"You'll shoot me?"

"Yep." Pope closes one eye and pretends to shoot it. "Pow!"

I roll my eyes and look forward again, letting the beer slip down my throat like a refreshing glass of water. The warm North Carolina air presses soothingly against my freshly tan skin and I bask in the sunlight. Its days like these that I like the most. Days where none of my best friends have work, we're drinking causally, and joking with one another. Even if it's on a construction site in the middle of Figure Eight. But the idea of getting caught just gives me an adrenaline rush.

"They're gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers," Kie says as she walks out of the unfinished house.

"Of course. Why wouldn't they?" JJ says next to me with a shrug like it's not the craziest thing that a Kook would own.

"This used to be a turtle habitat, but who cares about the turtles, I guess."

"I can't have cold towels."

Kie looks up at John B, shielding her eyes with the back of her hand. "Can you please not kill yourself?"

"Don't spill the beer. I'm not giving you another one," JJ says.

As if on cue, John B's foot slips. Luckily he catches himself, but his beer, however, drops to it's death on the deck below. As John B steadies himself I release the breath I didn't even know I was holding. I take another greedy gulp of my warm beer to steady the nerves in my chest.

"Whoa! Oh, shit," John B curses.

"Of course you did," JJ rolls his eyes playfully. "Smooth."

"A plus, really." I glare up at my brother, feeling his mischievous smirk right back at me.

"Dumbass," Kie mutters under her breath. She looks up at me as if waiting for me to say something, but I only giggle to myself. John B can be clumsy but he's not going to accidentally kill himself.

"Hey!" I hear another voice shout behind us towards the street and front of the house. A voice that doesn't belong to any of my friends or my brother.

"Hey, uh, security's here," Pope says.

Immediately knowing what that means, I jump to my feet with the help of JJ right after he slugs the rest of his beer. A delirious grin dances along my lips as I hop down to the main deck.

"Let's wrap it up!"

"Boys are early today."

"Humpty Dumpty, let's roll!"

My legs take off after my friends through the house. Adrenaline rushes through my veins and straight to my head like a power high. I can't even feel my legs as they jump over wooden slacks and construction tools. The high from running from the police is better than any drug JJ can get his hands on, even the good stuff.

"Gary is that you?" JJ plays along before accidentally running into him, making him slip on his feet before running the other way. I grab his wrist and pull him closer to me to catch up. "Gary, good to see you man!"

I laugh as my feet land on the freshly cut grass in the front yard. "You're asking for it."

"JJ!" The obese cop chases after us, recognizing my best friend's face instantly. I'm not surprised, not even a little bit. JJ had his fair share of run-ins with the law.

"They're going out front!" I hear another cop shout. I can barley hear through the wind rushing through my ears.

We run into a tall white painted fence that blocks us from our car, better known as the Twinkie. Hopping fences is something I've learned to become better at after doing it so many times. However, I can't say the same about Pope. He's always struggled.

I swing my legs over the fence and land with a small 'oomf.' I look over my shoulder for my slow-poke friend and see him falling over the fence, landing on his side. I laugh as I pick him up by the shoulders.

JJ is waiting for us, clapping his hands like a coach on the sidelines at a football game because his players aren't running fast enough. But there's a smile on his face. "Get up, Pope, fatso's coming!"

"Hey!" The guard shouts behind me. He's halfway up the other side of the fence, but he doesn't have the strength to pull himself over completely. "Come here you little pricks!"

I hear the familiar honk coming from the van John B and I learned to drive in. My brother and Kie are waiting for us in the front seats of the Volkswagen van that would look better in the 70s than the 2020's but I love it. It fits our friend group perfectly. Plus I'd choose this car over any fancy Mercedes Tourons usually drive. The only time I've ever been in one of them is when I snuck off with a golf player from Georgia after a boneyard party. It was luxurious of course, but nothing like the Twinkie.

"Bus is leaving!" John B says as we get closer.

"Come on!" Kie yells at us from the passenger seat, banging the flat of her palm against the door.

I dive through the back first, landing on my elbows and rolling over. Pope and JJ follow less than a second later.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Gary calls after us as John B steps on the gas.

JJ leans out of the sliding side door that's still wide open. I lay on my back watching him as I try to catch my breath. His smile is contagious. For a boy who's been through hell and back, he smiles a lot, and I love every second of it.

He holds out his beer can as if he's offering it to the cop who's still trying to catch us...if he can catch up to it. "Check out Gary, gunnin' for a raise. Come on, Gary!"

"Wait. Slow down. Hey! You little pricks! Hey!"

"You're gonna give him a heart attack!" Kie tries to scold him but she can't fight the smile on her lips either as she watches from the side rearview mirror.

"You're so close! You can do it. There you go. They don't pay you enough bro."

"JJ, stop. Stop!" Kie says through her laughter.

I love Kie. She always tries to keep the peace between her friends and the world itself. Always the girl who raises money for charities that protect this Earth and save animals and solve world hunger. She's going to change the world someday. Her and Pope. Maybe if they can tolerate each other, they'll do it side by side.

JJ slumps back into the van with a toothy grin. He sits next to me and pulls me up so I'm sitting up straight. He dangles his arm around my shoulder and I lean further into his side. If I could choose one position to be in for the rest of my life it would be this one.

But I'd never admit that.

"Oh, come on. That sort of initiative is just begging to be punished," JJ says.

I hum in response and lean back into the seat behind me and stare out the window. A view of passing vibrant green leaves takes over the window as John B drives. The scene comforts me. Summer is my favorite season. No school. Just work and friends and the Outer Banks. Paradise on Earth, some may call it.

It's the sort of place where you either have two jobs or two houses. Two tribes, one island. We're currently driving through Figure Eight, the rich side of the island. Home of the Kooks. So, guess where we don't live.

As John B drives further South, the houses get smaller and smaller, feeling more like home. This is the South side. Or as we like to call it, the Cut. Home of the working class who make a living bussing tables, washing yachts, running charters. The natural habitat of...drumroll, please...the Pogues. That's us. Pogues, pogies, the throwaway fish. Lowest members of the food chain.

I know... a little harsh, don't you think?

So, the downside of the Pogue life is we're ignored and neglected. But the upside of the Pogue life? We're ignored and neglected, which means we do whatever we want, whenever we want.

The second John B parks the car, the boys are gathering all their fishing gear and we set off to our next destination. The marina.

"Nice haul, dude. Look at that!" JJ teases my brother when he reels in what I think is the smallest fish I've ever seen. If it was orange, I would have thought it was my old pet goldfish from when I was six. "Been all bait for, like, three weeks."

John B pulls the fish off his hook and tosses it in JJ's direction. JJ flinches back, knocking into me and almost throwing me into the water below. That was probably my fault, though. I shouldn't be sitting on an open ledge, dangling my legs twenty feet above the water.

"Watch it, idiot!" I smack JJ upside the head after letting go of the death grip I had on his bicep when I was about to fall to my death. Well...I'd probably survive, but it would hurt like hell.

"It's not my fault you chose the most dangerous seat!" JJ retaliates.

Yeah, that's JJ. John B's best friend since the third grade, which subsequently makes him my best friend since the third grade too. He's about as local as they come. Latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who made their living off the water. Second best surfer I know. First being me of course. Mild kleptomaniac and a future tax cheat.

"Yeah, Mar, you should really get down from there," Kie says, walking over to me to help me down. I decide not to put up a fight. If I'm going to break my leg, I'm gonna do it in a surfing accident or something cool, not by falling off the dock.

Kiara. Or Kie as we call her. When not saving turtles or listening to Bob Marley, or getting a dolphin tattoo, she hangs out with us. I'm not really sure why though. She's a rich kid, actually. Her family owns the Wreck, this Outer Banks institution. Total cash down with the tourists and my current job. You know, I'm not really sure how her parents feel about us. But they like me enough to bring them money towards their restaurant. I bring in a lot of regulars. Advertising is kind of my thing. I'm pretty sure all my friends, even my brother, have a thing for her.

Kie hands me a water bottle and lays her legs across my lap. She lies down on the wooden bench and bathes in the sunlight the day still has to offer. Kie is my best friend. Best secret holder known to man, for the most part.

"I think she needs a leash," Pope adds, making me pass him a glare.

"The only thing useful about a leash is how I can strangle you with it," I say.

"Kinky," JJ says and winks at me. "That's my girl."

John B slaps JJ upside the back of his head.

I'm lucky my sunburnt skin is hiding the blush that creeps along my cheeks.

Pope glares at both JJ and I which only makes my growing smirk widen.

Pope...the brains of the operation...finalist for the Lucas T. Vanderhorst Merit Scholarship. And the smartest person I know. Little bit of a weirdo. His father's this legendary character, Heyward. Anything you wanted on the island, Heyward could get for you. Now, I'm not sure Heyward knew what to make of his oddball son, but it didn't matter. He was a Pogue, just like the rest of us.

"Trust me, if a leash was that easy, I would have tried a long time ago," John B mutters with a hint of a smile.

John Booker Routledge. My insufferable twin brother. Pain in my ass. Number one partner in crime. I hate him but I love him. Pretty much like any sibling relationship. We live in an old fish shack on the marsh. The Chateau as my dad use to call it. My dad disappeared at sea nine months ago looking for a shipwreck. I mean seriously, who disappears at sea these days? I miss him a lot. He may have been a little neglectful, but he took care of us the best that he could. My mom, however? She split when I was three. Last I heard she was in Colorado. At least I think it was Colorado. Honestly who knows and who cares.

Since my dad vanished, my Uncle T is supposedly my legal guardian. At the moment, he's in Mississippi, building houses which means it's just me right now, on my own, hangin' out with my brother and my friends.

Three months after my dad went missing, he was officially presumed dead. John B is more of an optimist than I am. He refuses to sign the paper and until he sees a dead body, he's not giving up. I back John B's decision, but I'm more realistic about what happened to my dad. The ocean, although my favorite place to be, is also one of the scariest.

My dad is probably dead and I will never get the closure that I want. So I'm dealing with it the best way I can, although I'm pretty sure everyone is a little worried about me, especially Kie now that John B is starting to follow in my footsteps by exhibiting reckless behavior.

But I'm getting better now. Day by Day. At least I wasn't acting like I did when my dad first left us.

~ ~ ~

I woke up with a slap to my ankle and my head buried deep into my pillow. I groan from the abrupt living alarm clock that's now pacing my room and throwing clothes from my closet at me. It only makes me squeeze my eyes tighter in hopes for at least five more minutes of sleep.

"Seriously, Mar, we need to go. We're late." John B rips my blanket off my body, leaving me exposed in just my pajama boxer shorts and a tank top. The sudden chill sends goosebumps up my arms and legs.

"Go without me." I push myself up on my elbows and grab the clothes he threw at me. I knew meeting the social worker alone wasn't an option. Even if one of us goes to this stupid meeting, it will prove to the social worker that we're not being responsible enough to keep DCS off our backs. As far as they know, Uncle T is still living with us and keeping us safe.

"You have five minutes." John B ignores me and leaves my room, slamming my door shut.

I roll my eyes and tumble out of my soft bed. I slip on my jeans shorts and a white t shirt that I tie in a knot to make it a crop top. Underneath it I have on my plain black bikini, knowing that I will be surfing the second we get home. The News has been reporting a storm for weeks that's suppose to hit tonight. Vicious waves and crazy winds sends a thrill through my body.

We arrive to the social worker's office only two minutes late. I thought that was a sign of responsibility, but the social worker only looks at us with distaste as we sit in the two chairs in front of her desk.

"John, Marleigh, it's come to our attention that you two are unemancipated minors living on your own." Her hair is pulled back into a tight low bun and her glasses are perched on the tip of her nose. Her suit looks way too tight for comfort, like it's squeezing the life out of her.

John B scoffs and leans back into his seat as if we have nothing to worry about, but I know his heart is beating just as wildly as mine. "No....no." The social worker raises one brow in suspicion and glances in my direction to either confirm or deny what John B is saying. John B sees this and answers for me. "No."

I just shrug as a response, which only makes the social worker more weary. She leans into her desk and folds her hands on top of our folders that are piled in the middle. "I need honesty to help you. That's what we want, right?"

"Yeah. I'm being honest."

"Okay, then when is the last time you spoke to your uncle?"

John B looks down at his watch and purses his lips. "Uh...thirty-four minutes ago."

"When's the last time you saw him?"

"Two hours and...forty-three minutes ago?"

I hold myself back from rolling my eyes. It's clear on the social worker's face that she's not buying into any of John B's lies.

She sighs and turns to look at me. "We're gonna come out there tomorrow to talk to your uncle. If he's not there, we're gonna move forward with foster care." Foster care. The words make me dig my nails into the wood of the arms of the chair I'm in. The last place I ever wanna be is in foster care. I want to stay here on the island with my brother and our friends. Not with some random family who couldn't care less about us in a place I'm not familiar with. "I want to assure you, we're gonna find you a safe and loving home."

She says it like she's offering us a better life, one that we would want, one that sounds like the better option but it isn't. I ignore the worried look John B sends my way and watch the seconds go by on the clock above the door. We basically have twenty-four hours to find Uncle T or someone to be pretend to be him.

~ ~ ~

The winds begin picking up early in the afternoon, the rain hitting by 5. On my way home from working at the Wreck, I watch people board up the windows of their stores and homes. All John B and I can do is hope that our little shack won't blow away by morning.

Unfortunately for Pope, he's at our house when John B catches me leaving the house with my board. When he tells me to stop, I'm prepared to put up a fight. I've been looking forward to surfing in this storm all day - something I can use to push the DCS lady out of my head and the promise she made that sounded more like a threat.

"You think you were gonna go out without me?" John B smirks and leads the way to the beach.

Pope follows behind us like a lost puppy, basically talking to himself as he tries to convince us that this is a bad idea. We stop at the edge of the beach. It's almost impossible to see the ocean through the wind and the rain.

"Those aren't surfable waves, bro," Pope says, squinting through the rain that splatters our faces wet.

"Says who?" I say, passing him a devious smirk and make a run for it towards the ocean.

I paddle past the choppy waves, letting the water knock me around like a feather in the wind. When I see a decent looking wave to ride, I prop myself up on my feet and stand. I lean into my board. The warmth that's taken over my body outruns the cold water I fall into when the waves crash over me. My body tumbles under the water and my board bumps against me. I try to swim back up to the surface but the current is strong. I don't know where I am and I can't see under the water. My nose burns when water rushes up my nostrils. I squeeze my eyes tight and just swim upwards in hope of reaching air. Maybe this was a bad idea, but the thrill is still keeping me excited.

I finally reach the surface after what feels like years. John B and Pope's screams are dull against the whistling wind. I hop back on my board and give the two guys a thumbs up and a wicked smile. Pope looks like he's about ready to have a heart attack and John B breathes out a sigh of relief as he paddles closer to me.

"You alright?" He asks me.

"Fine," I yell against the wind.

John B nods. He looks like he's about to say something else, but something over my shoulder catches his attention. I turn myself around, intrigued at what's he's seeing other than the water, clouds, and a bunch of rain. Then I see it. A boat that barely looks afloat, so far out that it looks like a speck against the rain.

"We should probably go," I say. I don't want John B's mind to run to what might have happened to Dad out there. Maybe he was caught by a storm like this, maybe his boat went overboard and his body is out there floating with the fishes. I don't know. The last thing I need him to do right now is speculate. Even if the same thoughts are running through my head, John B thinks he's still alive. These thoughts will keep him up all night. He doesn't move, however. "John B let's go."

~ ~ ~

JJ is already laying on the pull out bed in my living room when I get out of the shower. JJ crashes here most days of the week. He'd much rather be here than with his drunk abusive dad. Our friends don't know the extent of how shitty his relationship really is with his dad. But I do. I found out when I was thirteen. JJ snuck through my bedroom window after a tough night with his dad. His face and torso were covered in bruises. It took everything in me not to burst out in tears right then and there. But for some reason, he trusted me of all people with his biggest secret. I cleaned him up and let him sleep in my bed with me. Every once in a while we repeat the process. Sometimes he's not even hurt, he just shows up. And I let him in because I like having him there.

I fall onto the mattress next to him and prop my head up on my hand, leaning on my elbow. I run my fingers through his hair, feeling satisfied and bubbly when he moans in response.

"When did you get here?" I ask him.

"You were in the shower. Don't worry I didn't peak, but I was tempted," He says into his pillow.

I use the same hand I had woven in his hair and punch his shoulder playfully, making him fall on his back. His lips turn up in a grin.

I lay there for a second, looking up at the ceiling. My eyes feel heavy, the events of the day officially taking over my body. I peek an eye over at JJ who's watching me carefully as if I might break under his fingertips.

"What?" I grin to myself, thankful for the darkness so he couldn't see the blush on my cheeks. Again.

"You all right?" He asks, pushing my hair out of my face so he can look straight into my eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

JJ hesitates, like he's trying to pick the right words to say. I watch him closely, studying every mark and crevice on his face. Beautiful and clear like always. Even when it's covered in bruises and blemishes, he's handsome. I could look at him all day.

"You hate storms," He says.

"I can sleep through anything," I tell him. "And I don't hate storms. They make for...eventful surfing days."

His face drops to a more serious one. "You know what I mean."

I do. Storms have never really frightened me. Not really. But ever since my dad disappeared nine months ago, I worried that he would get caught in a storm like this, that by morning there would be a knock on my door from an officer who would tell me that a dead body has washed up on shore and they ID'd him as my father. The image leaves me with nightmares on nights like tonight.

JJ's the only one who knows this.

I don't like talking about it. Like JJ, we have this in common. So instead of telling him I'm fine and him not believing me, I pull the blanket at the edge of the mattress over our bodies and tuck myself into his side, laying my head on his shoulder. A position so intimate for just us "friends." I hope he can't feel my heart pounding beneath my skin, against his side. I let my body soften against his, feeling sleep take over me. I fall into a dreamless sleep next to JJ, hoping that the storm will be gone by the time we wake up.

#jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank fic #jj fic #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank imagines #outer banks rewrite

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blooming-inthedark · 2 years ago

Text

I’M HAPPY FOR YOU

but. i can’t be 100% present enough to share your joy because i’m... emulous. and please understand, this makes me feel very shitty. i wish this wasn’t my truth.

currently, three of my female friends are very pregnant. all 3 of them are married. all 3 of them are due within the next month. all 3 of them are having boys, ironically. and all 3 of them are of course very excited about entering motherhood with their bundle of joy, thus, sharing parts of the very happy but sometimes painful and emotional journey with me. and of course, i am happy to sit by and listen to the emotional vents, the funny food cravings and cry spells, the random information about do’s and don’ts of pregnancy, and buying all the gifts [that i can afford] for the baby showers! what an exciting time in my friends’ lives, and i get a front row - well, maybe a 7th row seat if i’m being realistic (because hey, niggas be busy with work and life) - to all of the action.

there’s so much excitement that earlier this week, another one of my female friends revealed to me that she just discovered she is 2 months pregnant. surprise! omg! congratulations! yayy!

but i’m not gonna lie. somehow, hearing this additional exciting news sort of punched me in the gut a little bit. because that little asshole critical voice came through loud and clear.

this is your 4th friend to be with child. the other three are married and she’s engaged. oh, and two of your other friends just closed on a new house this month, with their spouse/partner. two of your friends are high earners. one of your friends from high school wrote a movie and just sold it to a popular TV network. your actor friends? they either gave it up in confidence because they found another passion, or they’re getting booked. so... what is it that you’re doing again?

i know you’re not supposed to compare yourself to other people. and it’s not even that i desire to have a baby, get married, or get a house right now like my friends. those are things that i want in my future, but none of them are really my ‘right now’ goals. the problem is that everyone around me has something in their lives that they can draw joy from, and i no longer have that.

now, i’m not romanticizing their lives and assuming that because they have babies, high paying jobs and marriages means that everything is perfect for them. i know that this isn’t true for anyone. everyone has to deal with some level of sorrow, disappointment, pain, or general bullshit. but that sorrow, disappointment, pain and general bullshit is maybe underlining or sprinkled into their circumstances. it doesn’t HEADLINE their existence.

my frustration since i’ve moved to GA has been losing the balance of things i wanna do vs. things i don’t wanna do... things i like vs. things i really dislike... having a community vs. being by myself...

it seems like everything in my daily routine leaves me drained and passionless. my job is remote, so i spend every day waking up, just to go and sit in the living room. all day. my hours are late, so i miss out on the mingling/networking/playtime events for other actors. by the time i’m off work i’m too tired and annoyed to do anything else other than eat and watch something on tv. my best bet for staying active with creative endeavors is paying for classes but my rent has gone up and my pay has remained the same so i can mostly afford a manicure and a scented candle with what i have left over after bills. i’ve tried to find new jobs, specifically something that doesn’t leave me sitting all day and involves more people interaction. but so far i’ve only gotten rejection emails. the only people who have reached out were scams or didn’t pay enough for me to live off of.

i’ve also been dealing with a phorid fly issue in my apartment during the warm months that the leasing office has done nothing to combat. they are not like fruit flies and drain flies, hanging out in one area. they are attracted to light and alcohol and other random shit. they dart in and out of my face all day at work and i’ve been miserable. (luckily because the weather is getting cold they are finally slowly going away) i know i won’t be renewing, but because of the rent prices here and my lack of decent pay, i haven’t been able to find another apartment in budget that isn’t in a crime ridden area or infested with bugs.

i’ve started and stopped trying to form a physical fitness routine. i try to leave the house on weekends just to say i didn’t spend my entire week in my apartment. i facetime one of my friends every day just to have some people interaction. the few friends i have here i’m able to hang with seldomly, but again we’re all adults with lives and it isn’t very often.

maybe i have a warped sense of what life should look like as a single person who has moved away from their entire family and primary community base. maybe i am stubborn and not willing to sacrifice enough to change my circumstances. perhaps i’m right around the corner from that random, unexpected life changing moment that will turn things around.

all i know is, at this stage in my life, it has been tough to be happy for others without being reminded that there isn’t much happiness in my own life, and how scary it feels to know it has been this way for a while. naturally you figure ‘i’m the common denominator’ so its gotta be something i’m doing wrong. but this only brings more self loathing.

i really don’t want every post on this blog to be me complaining and being emotional about things that have hurt or disappointed me in my life. but damn. this is how its going and writing it down helps.

hoping nobody reads this and judges me. knowing that your opinion means nothing. respectfully. :)

#sigh

envy - 7 me - 0

#personal #life #vent #black writer #black woman #woes #sorrows #disappointment #gripe #envy #envious #adulthood #quarter life crisis #existential crisis #black woman writer #journal

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plaidbooks · 4 years ago

Note

Hi babes - a request that’s kind of specific- (readerxcarisi) this would take place in season 19, episode 8 where Rollins and Carisi are at the shitty motel and they have that moment. So the idea would be that reader is also a detective, maybe newer or something tagging along with them two and reader knows Carisi has a thing for Rollins and reader was with him when they saw the guy leaving Amanda’s room. Reader is there for him after and he realizes maybe he was chasing the wrong girl??

New Girl

A/N: Hey Anon! I had to rewatch this to do some of the dialogue from it (I condensed the first scene so it’s not incredibly long.) but it’s a good idea to rewtach this ep before reading....unless you remember that Heather was the catfisher and stuff. Anyways, this is a little longer cause t’s slower paced. I like the idea of being there for someone without needing to ask. Also yes, I’m taking the chance to flex some sports knowledge, sorry not sorry. Hope you enjoy <3

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“They traced the IP address to West Virginia,” Sonny said to Olivia, as they both came into the precinct.

“Good, get a John Doe warrant and send it to the local precinct,” Liv replied.

“Done and done.”

Liv gave him a smirk. “Then fill up your gas tank. Fin, you’re riding shotgun.”

“Oh, hell no; I’m allergic to West Virginia,” Fin said, leaning back in his chair.

Liv sighed. “Okay, Rollins, you’re up.”

“Really?” she whined.

Liv glanced between the two, already looking tired of this crap. “Come on, someone’s gotta translate for him,” she joked, gesturing at Sonny, who rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go,” you perked up. You were still the new kid, so you were jumping at every opportunity to go out in the field. Plus, you had a massive crush on Sonny, and being stuck in a car with him seemed like a good chance to learn more about him.

Liv gave you a relieved smile. “Thank you; at least someone here wants to work. But I’d also like someone with experience; Rollins, you’re going too.”

***************

The drive wasn’t awkward…at least, not for Sonny and Amanda. They’ve been partners for years now, chatting up a storm. You sat in the back seat, listening in on their stories, jumping in when appropriate, but otherwise fading into the leather behind you. This wasn’t what you had hoped for when you thought about going to West Virginia with Sonny, but at least you were getting some experience in the field…right?

The arrest was quick, painless. You actually found yourself feeling bad for Heather as you had her arrested in her mother’s home. But then you remembered what happened to Katie, and it solidified your resolve.

When Amanda suggested you three, and Chuck, the local officer, go to The Barrel—the local bar—for information, you’re first thought was that maybe alcohol would help you loosen up around Sonny. But after a few shots and a cocktail, all you saw was how he looked at Amanda, and you cursed yourself for not seeing it sooner. Why would he ever fall for someone like you when he could be with someone like her? And they were already so close; what was the point of trying?

Complaining about a headache, you excused yourself, telling them you’d see them in the morning.

“Want me to walk ya back to your room?” Sonny asked, looking concerned.

Your heart fluttered at the thought, but then you remembered the heart eyes he’d been giving Amanda all evening. “No, I’m fine. Thanks though.” You wandered back to the hotel across the parking lot, wiping the tears from your face, locking yourself in your room.

******************

You were in the hotel lobby making yourself coffee when Sonny came in.

“Morning, [y/n],” he said, smiling at you. “Feeling better today?”

You melted at his smile, tears threatening to form again, but you pushed down your feelings. “Uh, yeah, much better. How’d you sleep? Hopefully you and Rollins weren’t up too late.”

“Nah, it was fine. We may have started a bar fight, though,” Sonny grinned at you, and you giggled, trying to picture him fighting anyone. He went about making two coffees and grabbing an assortment of free breakfast foods. He put everything on a tray and you followed him out, heading towards Amanda’s room as he called Liv to give her an update. But you both froze as a man came out of Amanda’s room, both of them chatting for a moment before he left. And Sonny’s face fell as he turned and went towards his SUV instead.

You gave Amanda’s closed door one last look before you went after Sonny. He stopped at his SUV, putting the tray on top so that he could fish his keys out of his pocket. He sniffled and it was only then you realized he was crying.

“Hey, you okay?” you asked tentatively. But you knew the answer—of course you did. Because you had felt your heart shatter last night.

“Fine,” he grunted, opening the driver’s door and sliding in. This was sure to be a fun ride back to New York. Grabbing the tray he had left on the roof of his SUV, you climbed in behind the passenger seat.

You sat in silence for a few awkward moments before you said softly, “I’m so sorry, Sonny. If you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.”

*****************

The ride back was worse, to say the least. The tension in the air was thick, not to mention, you sat in back with Heather, who seemed to be daydreaming about meeting The Monster. You found yourself watching Sonny, or at least, the half of his face that you could see. He was quiet, subdued; so unlike him, and you realized you hated it. You wanted him to be his laughing, jokey self. You tried asking him questions—and Amanda, so you weren’t too obvious—but he wasn’t all there, his mind somewhere far away. Eventually, you gave up. falling into the silence of the drive.

*****************

Liv mercifully gave the three of you the rest of the day off after delivering Heather to the precinct. You were just debating what to do for dinner when there was a knock at your door. Curious, you unlocked it, opening it to see Sonny shuffling on his feet on your doorstep.

“Son?” you asked in confusion.

He gave you a nervous smile. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Uh, yeah. ‘Course.” You moved out of the way, letting him enter your brownstone.

You both stood there awkwardly before he asked, “have you had dinner yet? If not, I can maybe whip something up? Or I can order takeout?”

“I haven’t yet, no.” Now thoroughly confused, you shrugged, playing along. “Did you have something in mind? I was thinking of ordering a pizza or something….”

“Pizza sounds great. Here, I’ll order. You like pepperoni, right?”

******************

You both idly chatted while waiting for the pizza to arrive, the awkward tension still palpable. Sonny didn’t say why he came over and you didn’t ask. The delivery man showed up soon enough, and Sonny insisted that he pay, so you let him. You found some beers in your fridge, offering one to him, which he gratefully accepted. As you ate, you started talking more, just about where you were before transferring to Manhattan, why you decided to come here of all places. The tension in the air subsided, and slowly, Sonny started talking about himself; his family, his recent accomplishment at Fordham—you had started just after he had passed the bar exam, so you didn’t hear much about it—and how much he loved his job.

“So, now that you passed the bar, are you going to leave us for Barba?” you asked. Sonny cocked an eyebrow, a grin on his face. “Oh my god, that’s not what I meant, and you know it,” you giggled, your cheeks burning.

Sonny chuckled at the implication. “I—I don’t know yet. I really do love my job as a detective. But I always wanted to be a lawyer, ya know? And now I can be. But with Mike passing…it just doesn’t seem like the right time.” He took a sip of his beer. “Hey, maybe with you taking over, I’ll be able to. I’d feel less bad leaving the department behind; they won’t be as short-staffed.”

It hurt to think about Sonny leaving; you were just getting to know him. “I still got a long way to go, though. Liv wouldn’t even let me go with you to West Virginia alone. What was it she said? ‘I need someone experienced’ or some shit.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hey, I was in your shoes before, too. It’ll pass quicker than you can blink.” Sonny spun the bottle in his hands. “Besides, I almost wish it was just us, and that Rollins wasn’t…” he trailed off, his eyes staring at nothing.

You swallowed hard. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Hm? Nah…I mean, she’s my partner, yeah? I have her back, and I know she’s got mine…. We’re close and…yeah, I don’t know.” He looked everywhere but at you, a slight pink tint in his cheeks.

You nodded sympathetically. As much as you wanted him to like you, you just wanted him to be happy. And if she made him happy, then you’d have to live with that. “Being so close with someone for so long, it’s not shocking if feelings…developed. Have you talked to her about it at all?”

He shook his head. “Look, I appreciate you trying to help me with this, but can we stop talking about Rollins? Please?”

“Of course. Sorry…. I got ice cream, if you want some dessert?” you tried.

Sonny sat there for a moment, staring a hole into your floor. “You know what? I think I’m gonna get out of your hair.” He stood, stretching. “Thank you for letting me crash your night for a little bit.”

“You sure? You can stay as long as you need,” you replied, but he was already moving towards your front door, sliding his jacket on.

“Yeah, I’ve taken up enough of your time. See ya at work tomorrow.” And then he gave you that heart-melting smile before he was gone.

****************

Whether Fin or Liv could feel the tension in the precinct the next day, you weren’t sure. But Sonny had gone back to his nontalking self, sitting at his desk, working through Heather’s posts. At some point, Amanda invited him to lunch, but he declined. They had a few clipped, whispered words that you didn’t hear, but after she left, Sonny looked upset again.

Standing, you went to the coffee maker, making two cups—one for yourself and one for Sonny. You came back, placing it on his desk, within hands reach. He glanced up at you, and you gave him a soft smile before moving back to your desk, diving in on something to help Barba with his case against Heather.

After another half an hour, Sonny got up, coming over to your desk. “Wanna go grab lunch?”

You looked from him to the mountain of posts and pictures you still had to go through, then back at him. “Please,” you groaned, grabbing your jacket and following him out.

****************

For the next two weeks, you and Sonny would get lunch. Or, if it wasn’t possible to take lunch at the same time, you’d bring each other something, switching off each day. You both also seemed to know when the other ran out of coffee, placing a refill on one another’s desk just as you’d finish the last sip. Conversation started to flow easier between you two, and you found that you highly enjoyed just chatting with him. Every now and again, he’d come over to your place, and you’d just talk; mostly about work, sometimes about your families. You still had a crush on him, but you shoved it down, trying to not let it interfere with work, or with your new-found friendship. Though, you noticed with some glee that he no longer looked at Amanda with that sparkle in his eyes.

On Saturday night, Sonny showed up at your doorstep, a 12 pack in one hand, takeout in the other. “Are you not watching the hockey game tonight?” he asked, his Islanders sweater on proudly.

“I, uh, wasn’t planning on it?” you replied, confused. In all your talks, neither of you had mentioned sports, except that Sonny had played basketball as a kid.

“Pffttt. You are now,” he said, pushing into your place. You giggled, following him to your couch. Plopping down next to him, you grabbed a beer while he flipped through the stations until he found the game. He cheers’ed you, then you both took a sip, watching and yelling at the screen. It was hard not to get caught up in the excitement with him, even if you didn’t know all the rules, nor particularly cared about hockey. You just enjoyed spending time with him.

At some point during the first period, Sonny put his arm on the back of the couch, his legs spread. You never understood how someone so lanky could take up so much room, but it made you smile. He just looked so natural, so comfortable on your couch, and you loved it.

“Come on, Lehner! You gotta cover your 5-hole!” Sonny yelled at the screen, groaning as the Islanders let in a goal.

“Uh, explain that to me, please?” you asked, confused.

Sonny sat up, leaning his elbows on his knees, moving closer to you. “Okay, so, ya see how the goalie, Lehner, has his legs so spread? Well, when the Pens shoot, that’s where they aim, ‘cause it’s his weak-spot and they know it. He’s slow to get his glove there and it’s an easy goal.”

“So…the 5-hole is between the legs?” you guessed.

“Exactly; see? You’re a quick learner,” Sonny smiled at you as the game cut to commercial.

You grinned back. “Well, I have a good teacher.”

Sonny’s eyes lit up with an idea. He put his beer down, then turned to face you. “Here, stand.” You cocked an eyebrow at him but obeyed. “Put your arms out and spread your legs…not that far; be comfortable. Okay, so, right here,” –he put his hand to the left side of your face, above your arm— “is the 1-hole. The opposite side here, that’s the 2-hole. Then here,” –he went back to your left side, under your arm this time— “is the 3-hole, and—”

“The opposite is the 4, and between the legs is 5?” you finished.

That lopsided grin was back. “Exactly.” He looked at the screen as the commercials ended. “Ooh, game’s back, here.” Sonny’s hands went to your hips, sending electricity through you. He dragged you back onto the couch next to him, your leg touching his, and his arm around your shoulders. You couldn’t pay attention to the game as your whole body heated, a stupid grin on your face from the closeness. At some point, you relaxed against him, snuggling into his side. If it bothered him, he didn’t say anything. In fact, quite the opposite—when he wasn’t groaning or gesturing at the screen, he had his arm around you, holding you to him.

Once the game was over, Sonny helped you clean up. “Thanks for letting me crash your night again,” he said—the same thing he said every night when he showed up unannounced.

“Anytime,” you replied. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”

“Sober as a fox,” he smiled.

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that even a saying?”

“It is now,” he declared, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Really though; I’m fine. Thank you for worrying.”

You walked him to the door, holding it open for him. Sonny stopped just outside your place, turning back around to look at you. “Text me when you get home, so I know you’re safe,” you said softly.

“Okay, I will…. I, uh, wanted to thank you. Not just for tonight, but for every night…and lunches, and coffees, and just—letting me be me for a little.” He gave you the sweetest smile, and you thought your chest was going to burst.

“Yeah, anytime, Sonny. I want you to feel…safe with me,” you replied.

“I do…I really do.”

You were leaning against your doorframe, and he had one hand on the wall next to it, leaning against it. Slowly, he leaned forward, his face getting closer to yours. Swallowing, and praying you weren’t misinterpreting, you leaned in, too, until your lips met in a soft, chaste kiss. Sonny’s mouth was gentle against yours, his lips smooth, and you stood up on your tiptoes, pressing yourself harder against him, afraid that he’d realize what was happening and that he’d pull away, disgusted. And though he did pull away, his eyes were still closed in bliss, a small smile on his face, one that slowly grew the longer you looked, making your own smile appear.

“You sure you don’t want to stay the night?” you asked, your voice hopeful.

Sonny looked deeply into your eyes, then to your lips, then back to your eyes. “Well, if you insist, maybe I can be persuaded to crash your night a little longer.”

#sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfic #fanfic #my writing #thank you Karen for letting me know PScan is an Islander fan #cause I made Sonny a Bruins fan first #I may have forgotten that the Devil Ray's existed #Anonymous

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cheekysos · 4 years ago

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Road to Nowhere

Best Friend! Luke Hemmings x Reader

Summary: Luke asks his best friend Y/N on a road trip.

Warnings: Unrequited love, angst, minor swears

Author’s Note: Thank you for being patient with me the past couple of weeks. I’m still unsure about this piece honestly but I hope you enjoy it. Feedback is always very much appreciated, whether it be positive or constructive. Thank you for reading.

You and Luke have been best friends ever since he moved to LA. When you first met him you were in a somewhat serious relationship and by the time you admitted to yourself your feelings for Luke he just met someone. You wallowed in self pity for quite some time before you forced yourself to move on, Luke seemed happy and you wanted to be happy too. When Luke was single again, you were a few months into a new relationship. This cycle has continued for the entirety of your guys’ friendship, the timing just never worked out. Not that it would have mattered, you knew your chances with Luke were slim to none. You two joked, laughed, cried, and confided in one another but there was something missing on his part. You could tell by the way he looked at you that he didn’t love you the way you loved him. He doesn’t look at your smile and instantly get butterflies, your laugh doesn’t send a shiver down his spine, and your touch doesn’t make it hard for him to breathe. Now here you are, single for almost a year and Luke is in what seems to be a very serious relationship and it’s eating you up inside. You wasted so much time ignoring and hiding from your feelings because you were too scared to lose your best friend. Now your feelings are so strong it’s difficult to ignore.

His current relationship was definitely putting a strain on your friendship. She wasn’t comfortable with it, you knew the second he introduced you to her. The way she scanned you up and down, like she was assessing your level of threat. She occupied most of his time and didn’t want you around much, she never came right out and said it but you could tell - basically everyone could except for Luke. It was little things like the way she touched him in front of you, like she was claiming him or how it took her months to “learn” your name. But you put up with it because you loved him, granted you were also in love with him as well but you respected their relationship and would never act on your feelings. Between touring and her Luke hasn’t had much time for you so when he called you and asked if you wanted to go on an impromptu road trip with no certain destination you didn’t hesitate.

You packed enough clothes and toiletries for three days, that’s all the time off you could manage from work. Luke arrived that morning with your favorite coffee in hand and looking as adorable as ever. He was dressed casually in blue jeans, T-shirt, and boots.

“You’re really going to wear jeans while we drive across the country?” You teased snagging the large cup of coffee out of his hand.

“Hey what’s wrong with my jeans?!” He asked defensively.

“Nothings wrong with them. I just meant they aren’t very comfortable.”

“Well thanks mom but I think I can dress myself.” He quipped.

He stood in front of you with that stupid look on his stupid perfect face you loved so much. “So did you decide where you exactly were going?” You asked, spontaneity was not your strong suit.

“You pick, anywhere you want,” answered Luke.

You hesitated for a second, racking your brain for ideas. “Grand Canyon?”

“Whatever you want to see,” he flashed a sympathetic smile. What was going on?

“Seriously?” You asked. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

“What a guy can’t spoil his best girl?” Luke had a tendency of saying things like this. Things that were obviously meant to be harmless but hurt you more than you’d like to admit because you knew he didn’t meant them, not how you wanted him to. Luke helped you with your suitcase to his car and typed the coordinates into his GPS. While he did that you connected your phone to his car. Right after Luke asked you on this trip you started making a playlist for the occasion, of course a majority of the playlist was already assembled in a secret Luke playlist you already had.

“I hope you’re ready for this playlist, it’s going to blow your little rockstar brain.” Music is what immediately connected you to Luke. You guys didn’t have exactly the same taste and there were definitely songs and artists you disagreed on but his passion for it was contagious. He changed the way you consumed music, pushed you to listen to more than just lyrics and the beat.

“Excuse you I have a big rockstar brain thank you very much.” His hand rested on the back of your headrest as he backed out of the parking spot. It’s strange how Luke made everyday normal activities just effortlessly sexy. The way his seat had to be all the way back for his massive limbs to fit, how he gripped the steering wheel with one hand while the other rested on the gear shift, or the way the sun landed on his face and illuminated his sharp features.

Before you officially got on the road Luke stopped to fill up his car. “Here pay for the gas and grab some snacks,” he handed you his card.

You went inside and gathered an array of different snacks, candies and drinks. When you came out you saw Luke on the phone, at first you thought he was talking to her but he looked anxious and stressed while speaking. Maybe they were fighting, maybe that’s why he wanted to get away for a bit. When you got closer to him he hung up the phone and returned the pump to it’s holster.

“Let’s get the show on the road darlin’.” He faked a smile.

You were on route soon enough, Luke quietly snacking on the bag of chips you bought for him as he drove. You really didn’t want to pry and you hated asking him about her but it was obvious something was bothering him.

“You alright?” You questioned turning down the music.

He forced a smile, “All good. Just quietly regretting my decision to wear jeans. I wish someone would’ve told me not to.”

You playfully tossed a sour patch kid at his head. You knew that’s not what was bothering him but you didn’t pry. After many hours of stupid car games, spontaneous singalong dance parties and a small cat nap on your part you couldn’t ignore the rumbling in your stomach any longer.

“Luke I need food and I’m tired.” You whined “I think we should call it a day, get some food and find a hotel.”

Luke rubbed at his 5 o’clock shadow. “Ya ok find a place nearby will ya?”

It took a little time but eventually you found a small bed and breakfast. “Take the next exit.” You instructed.

As Luke drove to the bed and breakfast you passed an In n Out. “Take a right!” you yelled.

Luke jerked the car into the turning lane, “the fuck Y/N! Scared the shit outta me.”

“In n Out! Need fries and a milkshake.” You exaggerate and pout your lip.

“You know I can’t say no to that pout.” Again, how could he not realize what he was saying to you? Could he be that oblivious?

You went through the drive-thru and ordered way too much food for only two people and continued driving to the B&B. The Bed and Breakfast was a decent sized Victorian styled home, they probably couldn’t have more than five rooms. You stayed by the car, taking in the fresh air of a new state while Luke went inside to check for a room.

“Good news and bad news,” Luke said walking back to the car. “Got a room but it’s only got one bed, she’s got a cot though so she’s going to have it brought up to the room. I’ll take the cot.” Luke grabbed the luggage and you followed him with food and milkshakes in hand. The room was cozy, the main focus of the room was clearly the bed. This bed and breakfast most likely catered to couples looking for a quiet getaway and in any other situation it probably would have been romantic but not when you were with Luke and he was with her.

The two of you sat on the floor eating and catching up. Against your better judgement you asked about her, you were surprised to see his expression fall.

“I don’t want to talk about her, this trip is about us.” he said quietly. “Remember when we took that road trip to visit your parents?” he laughed.

“You mean the trip you agreed to take after being on tour for months leaving me to drive for HOURS while you slept the entire time?” you teased.

“Hey, It’s the thought that counts!” he defends. Things with Luke were great, back to how things were before.

After spending a considerable amount of time reminiscing, the two of you got ready to go to bed. When Luke walked out of the bathroom he was dressed in only athletic shorts. You’ve seen Luke half naked plenty of time but it seemed like every time you saw him his shoulders were broader, his chest hair more dense, and his skin softer.

“I-I’ll sleep on the cot Luke. There’s no way your lanky ass is going to fit. I don’t mind.” You tried deflecting with jokes.

“Ugh! How rude!” Luke played. “I am not lanky! And it doesn’t matter - that thing’s for children, neither of us are gonna fit on it. We’ll just share” He tossed aside the extra throw pillows and pulled back the duvet.

“Are you sure this is okay?” you hesitated.

“It’s fine, just get in.” He turned off the lamp on his nightstand and tucked his extremities into bed, his back facing you. You followed his lead and got yourself situated on your side. You knew you should have turned around so your back was towards him but you just couldn’t bring yourself to look away.

“Night Y/N.” he yawned.

“Goodnight Lu.” As creepy as it sounded you spent some time watching his back, counting the times it rose and fell with each breath before he succumbed to sleep.

You woke up the next morning before Luke, he wasn’t a morning person in the slightest. After you finished getting ready and found Luke still in a deep slumber you figured the best way to wake him was a pillow to the face. After lots of whining and arguing the two of you were ready to get back on the road. Since Luke was still half asleep you offered to drive the rest of the way, which meant you spent most of the time in silence again, but you didn’t mind, you needed the time to think.

When you finally arrived at the Grand Canyon you and Luke stood there awhile speechless, taking in the beautiful scenery around you. His arm suddenly snaked around your shoulders and pulled you into his side. You followed his suit and wrapped your arm around his waist. You felt completely content in this moment, for a second you could forget about everything and just relish in this the now. When you looked up at Luke tears were brimming in his eyes. You stood in front of him with both hands held onto his waist.

“Hey...what’s the matter?” you pleaded.

“It's...I just. I’m just really happy to be here. To be with you, my best girl.” He pulled you in for a hug, his arms wrapped around you tightly and he placed soft kisses on the top of your head. Your heart soared in this moment. Everything felt so perfect, it felt like there was an inkling of a possibility that Luke loved you back. As you pulled away from the hug, Luke tucked the stray hairs behind your ear. Your faces were closer than they’ve ever been, your foreheads pressed together, noses just barely touching.

“I need to tell you something Lu..” There was no more denying your feelings. You couldn’t go on like this anymore you needed him to know, even if that meant that he didn’t feel the same about you.

“Lemme go first.” he cut you off. “She gave me an ultimatum, you or her…” Your heart was in the back of your throat and your entire body was on fire. This was it, he was about to kiss you.

His calloused thumb brushed along your cheekbone, “I..I chose her.”

#Luke Hemmings #Luke Hemming Fic #Luke Hemmings Blurb #5 seconds of summer #Bestfriend!luke #Luke Hemmings oneshot #Luke Hemmings Fanfiction #Luke Hemmings angst #5sos blurb #5sos fic #5sos imagine #5 second of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5 seconds of summer fic

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keelywolfe · 4 years ago

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FIC: Welcome To Backwater ch.4 (spicyhoney)

Summary: Stretch is settling into small town life.

~~*~~

Read Chapter Four on AO3

Read it here!

~~*~~

The rest of Stretch’s week went about the same way as the first few days. Work in the morning, movie in the afternoon, dinner with Red at night. After what Red told him, he’d been prepared to Groundhog’s Day his way through his next visit with Doris if needs be, braced for a few reminders until he made a good enough impression.

For their second meeting, he got another popcorn just for her, tucking it into the cupholder on the opposite side of her seat. She was barely formed before she was leaning down to breathe in the buttery smell of it and from that angle, he didn’t have to witness any of her less appetizing manifestations. He also brought strawberry-flavored twizzlers, bought from the store and smuggled in under his shirt since the only candy at the concession stand was raisinets and those tasted like chocolate-covered dirt, no thanks.

He wasn’t too worried about going over his entertainment budget. Red paid him yesterday and they hadn’t discussed an hourly rate, but a hundred bucks under the table wasn’t bad for a few hours work a day, especially since Red had recently taken more of an interest in feeding him. Seemed he’d taken his brother’s order to look after Stretch pretty seriously and he started leaving packets of donuts on the counter in the morning or little boxes of sugary dry cereal to munch between customers. In the evening, Red dragged him back to his apartment at night for more Wheel of Fortune and food, either deliciously left by his unseen brother or frozen dinners.

It made Stretch feel even more like a scrawny lost puppy found in a parking lot, but he couldn’t say Red’s sudden adoption was unwelcome, especially since it meant less of his dwindling funds were wasted at ‘Mama’s’ getting takeout. Not that he couldn’t access his bank account, even Backwater had an ATM at the gas station, but the second he popped that plastic into the slot, he’d be advertising where he was. Better to save that as his last measly dollar, ‘hail Mary’ pass.

After indulging in her popcorn vice, Doris sat back up to her normal prim posture and there was a certain restrained excitement in her voice as she said, “You came back.”

“’course i did,” Stretch said from around his current twizzler even as he nursed a secret delight at being remembered. “i said i would, didn’t i?” He wondered what other friends she’d made and possibly forgotten, aside from Red. Maybe she thought she’d been alone all this time when she actually had others who came to see her on the weekends?

Whatever the truth was, there wasn’t much point in asking. Not like she’d know the truth, anyway, and Stretch wasn’t planning on ghosting her. Her smile was Mona Lisa subtle and probably held as many unspoken secrets, and that was fine. Stretch wasn’t a guy to pry. They sat together through ‘The Road to Morocco’ and he didn’t even mind when Doris hummed softly through all the songs.

On the third day since their haunting introduction, she appeared before the movie started while he was playing ‘Candy Crush’ on his phone and pointedly ignoring the messages piling up. She looked fascinated, watching the flickering lights from the game. “What is that contraption, Stretch?”

Hey, points for being remembered again, but then, he’d been here every day so far. He wondered idly how it would go if he took a day or two off.

Stretch held his phone out to let her get a better look. “you ever have a telephone in your house?”

“Of course,” she said, but her eyes, both pale blue and ghostly pale at the same time, were on the android, “My parents were on the exchange. Mama used to call Central all the time so she could chat with the ladies’ in her church group.”

Stretch wasn’t quite sure what that all meant, but the movie was starting soon so there wasn’t time to ask. “well, this little gadget is a kind of a phone and a camera, plus a few other things on top.”

Probably better not to bring up the deal with the internet just yet.

Her eyes went wide and round, without an ounce of disbelief. “You can take photographs with that?”

“yeah, sure. here.” He turned it on selfie mode and tipped his head her way, waiting until he was sure to catch her good side before pushing the button. One click later and there was his grin and her translucent open-mouthed astonishment, frozen in time. He held out the phone so she could get a good look. “see? i can get it printed later, but for now, we can see how it looks.”

“That’s wonderous,” she whispered in hushed awe. “You don’t even have to wait to develop it!”

“yeah, it is pretty cool.” It was, honestly. He didn’t really think about it too often but carrying around a little supercomputer that also took pictures was actually pretty wonderous. He remembered getting his first phone when they came to the surface, a huge upgrade from the taped-up flip phone he’d scavenged from the dump. Playing with all the apps, taking tons of pictures of him and Blue. He’d forgotten that wonder when it all became commonplace and it was nice to have a reminder.

Doris reached out as if to touch, but her finger passing through the screen. Her hand fell away and she didn’t look happy anymore, more pensive, her delight fading as some other thought filtered in and force it to sink.

He wondered if the culture shock was kicking in. He asked, low, “you okay?”

“Yes, of course.” She pulled out a hankie and dabbed at her eyes. “I simply haven’t seen myself in, oh, a very long time, I think.”

Shit, he hadn’t thought of that. She probably hadn’t made too many trips to the ladies’ room in the past few decades and now he was double-glad he hadn’t accidently caught one of her bloody ‘flickers’, she didn’t need to see that. “i’m sorry.”

“Please, don’t be sorry,” she assured him, “I’m happy to have seen it.” She smiled then, pretty as a picture, “you’re a good friend.”

“trying to be.” For as long as he could, anyway. The lights started to dim and Stretch tucked his phone away. They both settled into their seats to watch ‘Casablanca’, him munching on his popcorn, her giving hers the occasional sniff, and both of them ended up sniffling as Sam played ‘As Time Goes By’, Stretch into his sleeve and Doris into her lace-edged hankie.

He didn’t know what past lover Doris was thinking about, but he hoped it was a nice memory and not one that helped her on her brutal path over to the other side. His own memories were more bitter than sweet, and he replaced both with more butter-soaked popcorn. At least that was a taste he could stand.

~~*~~

The store opened late on Sundays and closed early, only staying open long enough for anyone who needed a quick pick up or a treat for their kiddos after church. Stretch didn’t have the slightest interest in religion, not even his own, but he listened for the deep clang of the church bells gonging through the town announcing the mass exodus, and rang up all the Humans that came in dressed in their Sunday best.

At least none of them seemed to hold his lacking against him. Their smiles as they paid for the ice cream treats that their kids were already devouring were the same as they’d been all week and the only raised voice in the shop was a mother admonishing her son to ‘Be careful of that nice shirt, Billy, don’t you be getting chocolate down your front!’

By the time he hung up the closed sign at three on the dot, there hadn’t been a customer in nearly an hour anyway. Probably everyone was holing up at home for an early supper out of the scorching heat. He swept the floor, locked the door, and that was done. He wandered back to Red’s apartment in hopes of a little early supper of his own, knocking briefly before stepping inside, “red?”

“out here,” floated back to him. The door that led to the backyard was open, only the screen keeping the humming insects at bay. Stretch went out on the porch where Red was sitting in one of the rickety rocking chairs he kept back there. His leg was propped up on a scruffy cushion atop a low stool, the pantleg oddly deflated and his shoe lying beneath the rocker. Next to him was a small cooler with beers floating in a shallow pool of water and the remnants of ice cubes. Dangling from his loose fingertips was a smoldering joint, faint wisps of pale smoke trailing from his darkened eye sockets.

Stretch went out, letting the screen door bang shut behind him. There was a sofa on the back porch even more ancient than the one in the living room and it puffed up a cloud of dust when Stretch flopped down on it. “you’re letting out all the cold air,” Stretch said.

Red snorted loudly, “you ain’t paying for it.”

“that is true,” he agreed. “i don’t pay for a lot around here, ‘cause you are a generous soul. speaking of,” he waved a vague hand at the joint that was nearly falling out of Red’s fingers, “gonna share that, too?”

Red didn’t even look in his direction, only blindly handed over the roll. The first hit was skunky-sharp, the smoke burning in his ribcage in a way that plain tobacco just didn’t, and Stretch was careful only to take a small toke to start. Red was the kind of asshole who either got cheap shit to match his cheap beer or he’d get the sort of weed that would have Stretch afraid to get up from the sofa because he might fall off the world. Better to start slow and figure it out from there.

Turned out to be somewhere in the middle and left him in a perfectly mellow buzz, all his stressors suddenly distant and unimportant. Stretch lived up to his name by sprawling out as far as he could on the moldering sofa, his sneakers dangling off the arm as he and Red passed the joint back and forth.

“ain’t bad, yeah?” Red said lazily. He took another toke, breathing out words and smoke, “ain’t legal here, yet, but the sheriff is one of my poker buddies.”

Stretch twisted to look at him, “seriously?”

“nope, but his kid is the one selling, so i figure he don’t mind.”

Stretch wasn’t sure if any part of that sentence was true and couldn’t be bothered to care. Blurry reality was so much better than having it sharp and in focus. The haze dug in deep beneath the surface, settling right and making itself at home. That was probably the only reason Stretch asked, bravely thoughtless, “so, why did your brother want me to leave town?”

“ehhhhhh," Red drew the sound out like it was a word of its own, his chair creaking on the dry wood of the porch as he rocked back, "he's jus' paranoid. folks that ain't used to backwater can get into trouble here sometimes."

“yeah, i can see how a town with only one bar can be loaded with problems,” Stretch snorted, “the locals aren’t as generous with their beer as you?”

“you’d be surprised at the kinda trouble you can find in a small town.” That sounded a little more bitter than expected and Stretch glanced at Red to see what kind of lemon he was biting down on. But Red wasn’t chewing on anything; instead, he was tugging at his pant leg, clumsily rolling the denim up. Stretch started to look away, didn’t want to make his landlord and new weed dealer uncomfortable but Red only let out that rough, scoffing laugh of his. “may as well look if you’re gonna be askin’ about the real shit.”

So he did, taking in the rounded nub of bone leftover from an obviously surgical amputation, the leg missing from right below the knee joint. Red only slumped back in the chair as Stretch studied it, giving every appearance of not caring. Unless, you know, a person wasn’t a complete moron and Stretch was at least one rung up. He could see the overbrightness in Red’s eye lights, the tight grit of his teeth, his jaw working even when Stretch fell back on the sofa.

Stretch asked with carefully affected boredom, “you’re telling me i’m gonna lose a limb if i keep hanging around? ‘cause when you offered to let me stay, i didn’t know the rent might be a literal arm and leg.”

A beat of silence, then Red chuckled roughly. The ice in the cooler rattled as Red reached in and grabbed a beer, loudly popping the tab and raising the can in a mocking toast, “heh, you got inches to spare, anyway.”

“only below the belt,” Stretch said, agreeably. “so what did he mean, then, that leaving isn’t an option?”

“eh, he didn’t really mean that.”

“he said it. leaving won’t be an option, that was what he said.” Stretch was a hundred percent on that, it was the sort of thing a person remembered very clearly, no matter how stoned.

Red only shrugged, rolling his shoulders with lazy ease, "toldja, he’s paranoid, is all. small town life ain’t bad, once you get used to it. folks settle in and don't want to leave. s'nice here, people are nice.” His sharp-toothed grin widened. “'m here, ain't i?"

“can’t argue with that." Stretch reached out and managed to catch hold of the cooler with the tips of his fingers. He tugged it close enough to fish out one of the beers. "does your brother live in town?"

"i ain't telling you where he lives,” Red said decisively, “ain't risking my meal ticket for your illusions of possible booty call."

Stretch choked on a mouthful of beer, thin streams running out of the sides of his mouth as he coughed, “i wasn't…" He broke off, stoned-stupid and too aghast to come up with a decent protest past the obvious. "that's your brother!"

"yep,” Red agreed, “all that means ‘s i am immune to his charms. don't mean i can't see 'em and you was staring at his ass like you wanted to take it for a lil’ test drive. telling ya right now, that ain’t a good idea.”

Stretch slumped down further on the sofa, sulkily muttering out, “the quality of your brother’s ass notwithstanding, i promise you, i am not on the lookout for any kind of call, booty or otherwise.”

“good,” Red grunted, “while we’re having this little soul to soul, you wanna tell me exactly what you’re running away from that got you all the way out to this neck of the proverbial woods? i can guess at the basics, but the finer details elude me.”

"digging out the best vocab for me, i’m honored.” Stretch rested his half-full can on his chest, played with the tab until it broke off then toying with the bit of aluminum. “not really. i broke up with someone and it sucked. i don't want to talk about it." He slanted his boss/landlord a look, "that a problem?"

"nope," Red took another swig from his beer, wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "man's business is his own, even when he ain't a man. already toldja, stay as long as you like." His easy voice went serious, weirdly intent, "one thing, though, them woods out there, you see ‘em?"

Stretch managed to lean up on an elbow, squinting out at the trees that were far enough away that the house regrettably didn’t fall under any cooling shadows. "yeah, it's kinda peaceful, i guess. if you like that kinda thing." Stretch didn’t, not really, the only greenery he was interested in was rolled up in Red’s joint.

"peaceful. sure. that's all fine and dandy, but don't you go walking out there at night, you hear me?"

It wasn’t easy, but Stretch managed to sit up, working at his wobbly balance to give Red the full weight of his disbelief, “uh. why the fuck would i?”

“didn't say you would,” Red said, a touch defensively, “just sayin’ don’t.

“no, seriously, why would i? do i look like the token monster extra in a horror movie?” Stretch let out an exaggerated shudder, “no thanks, no, no, no. no splitting up, no checking the funny sound in the basement, none of that shit. why, what happens if you go into the woods at night? ‘cause i’m cool with the town ghosts but i’d need a better door lock and a pay raise if you guys got vampires hanging around.”

Red gave him a strange look, his sockets narrowing around his bleary eye lights, "what the…no, you honey roasted nutbar! woods are bigger’n they look, i don't wanna have to dig up a search party to find your scrawny ass if ya get lost, is all!”

"seriously, me wandering in the woods at any time of day is the last thing you need to worry about.” Stretch wondered absently if that was actually a problem around here, people hying off into the woods at midnight, yeesh, might as well wear a ‘free snack’ sign while they were at it and speed up the process.

"great, i'll add it to the bottom of the list. vampires,” Red muttered in disgust, “fuck me.” Then louder, “mind me on this one, you hear? i ain’t your daddy, but i’m taking a liking to you, kid, want ya to hang around a in the land of the livin’ a while.”

That struck Stretch as absurdly funny. He started giggling and couldn’t stop, curling up on the sofa as he cooed, “aww, c’mon, daddy, you don’t wanna roleplay? if i do go in the woods, do i get a spanking?”

He ducked from the can Red threw at him halfheartedly, beer spraying out and splattering the porch, drying almost instantly on the parched wood. Stretch rescued it before it could soak the sofa, tipping the can back and drinking down the last warm mouthful.

“shut the fuck up and hand me that roach,” Red grumbled. He did, and they sat that way for the rest of the afternoon.

The sun was going down by the time they went inside, casting a bloodred glow over the horizon that extended across the not-so-distant trees. Stretch gave them a last look as he waited for Red to strap his prosthetic back on and head inside, maybe for canned ravioli, maybe for one of his brother’s much tastier meals. The leaves were visibly rustling despite the still air, heavy branches waving and creaking. Whatever breath of cool air that ran through the woods didn’t make its way into town.

Stretch shrugged mentally and followed Red as he limped his way through the back door. Air conditioning was better than breeze any day of the week, including Sunday.

~~*~~

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #underfell sans #underswap sans #welcome to backwater

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genuflectx · 4 years ago

Text

4th Dimensional Being/OC - CH1

Full Length: 19,543

Chapter Length: 4,248

Main Themes: Other dimensions, tentacles, confinement, nsfw

Other Warnings: politics, "godly" behaviors, vomit, feeling of loss of autonomy, comparison to a toy

(all images in aesthetic board are labeled for reuse with modification or are mine)

I ended writing a novella... this is my longest short, non-fanfic work yet. It's not perfect but was a fun exploration of these characters and themes. Yes, there will be explicit sex in a later chapter :) Later on I will format the novella correctly for a nice little Gumroad/Patron release! Enjoy! (WILL BE NSFW IN LATER CHAPTERS)

The 4DB Chapter 1: Heartburn

“Do you need any stamps?”

The middle-aged woman re-set her teeth subconsciously and rose a brow. “No, I just came to drop off the package.” Her eyes crinkled in a way that passive aggressively said 'get on with it.'

Chris pursed her lips, features big and round with false politeness. “Okay then! If you could just insert your card-”

“Is it one that takes chips?” She interrupted.

“Yes, it's ready for you.”

The mail room was a quiet murmur as the card clacked against the plastic scanner. Eventually it happened to slipped in. “It's not doing anything.”

“You might have it in the wrong way ma'am,” Chris suggested, tense.

The woman squinted, a corner of her mouth raising in distaste. She ripped the card from its slot and turned it around. The machine asked her pin. She got it right on the third try. Finally, the package could be put in its place as the lady left with a stick up her ass.

“Some customers are just the worst,” Chris concluded as she and two of her co-workers were closing shop.

Vincent shrugged. “They just like to take out their anger on strangers to make'em feel better,” he smiled and locked the door.

Mildred chuckled and rolled her eyes, patting Chris on the shoulder. “Make sure none of them hear you talking like that!” She started to walk to her car. “I been here for a decade. You'll get used to them.”

“Well I been here a year, I ought to be too!” Chris groaned, slumping dramatically where she stood.

“Just get some rest, tomorrow's the big event!” Vincent grinned and pranced off to his own car.

Chris found her feet dragging on, her hand fumbling for keys. “Yeah yeah, see you there,” she mumbled, climbing on in with exhaustion.

She was never much of a people-pleaser, but she did her job alright. After a long exasperating work week the weekend was blessedly encroaching upon her, right along side the annual downtown gathering of Gabriel's Children. Chris was not one of those children. However, Vincent had been since the horn had first begun to blow. Chris did have to admit it was an astounding scientific phenomenon, but that's all it was. Just something science had yet to explain. The little festival the locals vended had delicious food, though. Hearing the horn was a fun little bonus.

The festivities started early in the morning and she arrived with Vincent in the afternoon. There was a talk being held at its center, which Vincent felt the need to drag her to hear after gathering snacks. They nibbled on freshly baked pastries and sipped hot coffee as a man high on the stage explained recent discoveries of the hum- another word for the horn. Chris thought maybe they'd come in a little late, as the man was already beginning to finish off his speech. Plus, it was hard to hear with the bustling of the surrounding crowd; all the people laughing and chatting and cooking at their stands, necklaces jingling and children begging parents for magnets of trumpets and angels. She strained her ears to listen.

“So if it wasn't the factory, if we are inland unlike the Children of Europe, we have no buzzing wind farms nor major fault lines, then what is it? What is the 'horn?'” He stalked across the stage, pacing and looking so, so serious. “Twenty years and we have no answers. But we know it's sped up. We know it's moved and honed in to few locations; from our little mid-American town, to Washington D.C., all the way down to the hot, dry climates of Texas.”

Chris sighed and slid further in her chair, looking bored. “We've heard all this before. They haven't learned anything new in years,” she whispered across to her excited co-worker. Vincent shushed her and she resisted a bored moan.

The speaker was unaffected, totally unaware of a particular audience member's dry indifference. “Every year now it comes, and every year we gather again to try and learn something. Anything,” he frowned.

Chris crammed cinnamon role into her gob and huffed quietly. “Good luck.” She washed it down with a big swig of coffee.

Vincent gave her a look that could melt the bones right out of her body. She smirked at him.

“Maybe this year... things will be different,” the speaker trailed off quietly and quit pacing. He became eerily still, looking out over the heads of the crowd and into the mottled stone walls of downtown. Vincent felt that he was pausing for dramatic effect, but Chris rose a brow. He'd stopped speaking, almost wall eyed.

“Shit,” Chris suddenly whispered, bringing fingers to her temples and shutting her eyes.

“You okay?” Vincent worried, glancing from her to the stage with a sense of terrible unease.

She grit her teeth and shut her eyes. Her ears were ringing, one even popped. A few seconds passed. It slowly subsided into a dull pain. “Just a weird headache? Guess it's all the noise,” she dropped her hands, exhaling.

“Guess he got one too?” Vincent gestured uncomfortably.

She followed his hand up to the stage, where the speaker was continuing to pause. By now it had just become awkward; his palm on his forehead and a pained expression encased his wrinkled visage. The crowd had begun to murmur in confusion. Slowly he swallowed, like forcing down vomit, then became relieved enough to continue.

“That's... that's all. Thank you for coming to listen to me speak,” he shuffled away to the shallow stairs and disappeared, making way for the next speaker.

“Weird,” Chris mumbled. “Maybe air pressure then? Well come on, I want to look at some shops before the countdown reaches zero.”

He jumped up enthusiastically, all starry eyed. “Yeah! I want a new key chain!”

As they carefully navigated the crowd back to the local art shops, Chris shook her head and laughed. “Don't you already have like, six trumpets?” She scolded.

He scoffed and waved a hand. “Pch, sure, but they're all different!”

An hour to go. They browsed, they made small talk, they sat stiff on freezing metal benches outside of local junk shops. Vincent not only snatched up a key chain but a copy of a screen print as well. He turned it upside down and squinted, humming. It was some abstract piece. Flat shapes seemed to wiggle around at him in a colorful confusion.

“Why don't you buy anything?” He asked, tuning the print right side up again.

She shrugged, chilled hands in warming pockets. “I'm not a tourist like you.”

“Heeey, I resent that!” He joked, trying to hide a smile.

Suddenly Chris winched, putting a hand at the nape of her neck. There it was again, that creeping feeling of a splitting headache coming back. She sighed and slowed her pace, feeling nauseous.

“Listen, I think I'm gonna head home.”

Her friend expressed disappointment. “What! It's only fifteen minutes now! Really want to miss Gabriel?”

She nodded, rubbing her neck and looking down. “Yeah, I really feel icky. Besides, I'll probably still hear it in my car if I roll the windows down. I think the crowd and air pressure are just overwhelming me.” Chris did hate to leave her friend to himself, but he was a big boy, even if he was two years younger. She just didn't feel up to staying any longer.

He pretended to pout and waved her goodbye. “See ya at work Monday,” he called across the loud, mingling voices of the festival.

Chris waved back and found her way through downtown, back out into the more empty streets. She pressed a red button. The streetlight sounded and the image turned white so she crossed swiftly on numbed feet. She made it up the car park elevator, found her car among the dimly lit concrete slopes, and finally was on her way home. The headache had yet to return during the trip so she counted herself lucky.

The roads were relatively empty due to the majority of traffic having already settled in to wait for Gabriel's horn, though a few roads were annoyingly blocked off for the event. She was deathly glad for the vacant roads that allowed her to slip out of downtown with an ease she'd not get to enjoy any other day.

“Oh right,” Chris rolled down her side window. Fresh cold air flowed in, which soothed her head a little. “Not long now.”

She was just about out of downtown when it happened. But... there was no horn. No rusty screech, no hum that she'd grown to know so well. However, there was an awful, unaccounted for noise that came from the rolling Heavens. A sharp, quick sound; a hard whispered word blasted her brain and set it on fire. It hurt like Hell. Like the loud screech of white noise when one had forgotten to turn the volume down before pressing 'on.' Chris slammed her breaks and cried, her wheels screaming. Was that what Vincent heard, waiting patiently back in the crowd? Or was it just in her head?

Chris pressed the gas gently, teeth grit and eyes barely open. She veered into an empty parking lot and stopped askew over two spaces. She yanked her hair and pressed her forehead against the wheel then suddenly felt extremely sick. She fumbled for the door then stumbled out. Chris felt pressure and collapsed clumsily to her knees against the broken asphalt. After a few moments some of the pressure let up, but then she heard that word again.

“What's wrong with me?” She slurred, feeling dizzy.

A look around found that she was very much alone. There was nothing but empty parked cars. The pain was suddenly gone. She froze and took a deep breath, her eyes re-focusing and hands shaking. She needed to go to the hospital but did not want to pay for the ambulance. Vincent could drive her. Her hand slowly retrieved the phone from her pocket, but as she pressed the button to find Vincent's contact she heard the word one last time. Sharp, quick, just like the first, but it was more clear.

“Wh-what? I'm hallucinating,” She mumbled, knowing full well that that was not the sound of Gabriel's horn.

“Chrysanthemum,” a loud-quiet voice called out in her head.

“Shit!” She dropped her phone and watched it smack against the faded asphalt.

“Chrysanthemum, don't be afraid. You are not hallucinating. The pain you felt was an... accident,” it explained, lowering its voice.

“God?” Chris called, slipping onto her butt and staring with fear into the sky. She was shaking from head to toe now.

It made a weird sound. “No, we are not a god, though we may seem it to you. We are the noise you call 'Gabriel's Horn,' but we are neither Gabriel nor Horn. The 'Horn' you've heard was merely our days affecting your years as we... tuned equipment,” Not-Gabriel explained plainly.

She glanced from cloud to cloud, brows furrowed so hard her forehead hurt. For a moment she thought if she just searched long enough she'd be able to find the face that was talking down on her.

“It will be difficult for you to understand and will take many of your days to acclimate. Do you at least understand this Chrysanthemum?” It sounded condescending at the end.

Chris scowled. “Well you can't be God if you keep using a name I don't go by,” she complained.

“We are of the 4th dimension. We are not a god. Here. I will touch your insides, it may feel strange,” it warned. “See?”

She screamed and grabbed her stomach. It felt like her acid churned, and suddenly she had heart burn. Chris burped and felt woozy. “That's... ohhh I think mm gonna pahhh-” Chris collapsed heavily to her back, unconscious.

There was nothing, nothing, nothing, then there was something. She saw herself amid a void. It was like a thick goo, as if the gas or lack of gas in the air had solidified. There was no cold nor heat, no apparent up nor down. But then, as she turned her head towards her feet, there was an illumination that lit the ground beneath her. A flat plain decorated with complex, ornate geometry rested below. She squatted against her calves, though it felt years before she came to a halt, and with every tiny change in posture she saw a ghost of her former self.

“Hello?” She called, echoing into the void. Her word simultaneously stuck in the goo and penetrated its atoms all at once. This world was a contradiction.

Something small screamed, a high-pitched trill of terror and shock. Chris glanced down at the geometry and squinted. The geometry was moving; it shivered and vibrated like cells in a body. It was all scrambling so fast compared to her.

“Hello?” She asked again, balancing with a hand so she may come closer.

It screamed again. A tiny little organism wriggled backwards, and across the plain something tickled Chris's hand. She lifted it and gawked with disgust and horror. She'd squished something, and it lay in bits in pieces.

“Whoops, I think I broke something,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Don't smite me!” Squeaked the thing by her feet.

Chris frowned. “What are you? You're so small and... flat.”

It rotated and looked around, but it never once looked up into the sky. The creature could not see anything but the outline of her shoes where she'd stepped atop its planet.

“You don't know?” It asked, sounding only slightly less panicked. “Then you're not God? Are you from Somewhere Else?”

She shook her head, confused. “No, I'm not a god. I'm Chris. And you're a cell?”

“A cell?”

“Yeah, a small organism that can group up to become a bigger organism. I'm full of them. You look like all the diagrams we used in school. But you can talk and I can see your insides. Which is the mitochondria?” She scrutinized the inside of the creature's body. It was sorta gross.

The flat creature's brain was working hard as it stared at the funny outline of Chris's shoes. She could even see it working. It nervously moved around her shape, making a full circle to get a whole picture.

“You're gigantic, please don't hurt me Chris. What do you want?”

“I don't- woah!” She began to sink. The illuminated plain was caving to her weight, but only she passed through. The plain itself remained as flat as ever. “I'm gonna fall!”

The creature's panic sky rocketed as it watched the line gyrate and change, growing larger and longer. “Ahhh!” It yelled, backing into a corner. If Chris continued to grow it would have no way of escape and be crushed against the side of a wall. “What's happening? What's wrong?”

She slipped further. Now it was Chris who was in a panic, scared of the endless black void below the flat planet. She sunk through to her elbows, leaving her to sprawl her arms and claw at the ground for purchase. Across the world her fingers scraped through a once wondrous shape, which crumpled and splintered as she accidentally destroyed its existence.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry!” She freaked out, heart beating like on a roller coaster. Chris fell.

She gasped, her skin clammy and damp. Everything was too bright and she shielded her eyes.

“You're awake, good. Here,” a man said.

Chris sat up and exhaled, her eyes adjusting. She was in a stranger's house and was being handed a glass of cold water, though the ice inside had since melted. The flat planet was a dream. She had not really scraped a building from the face of a world. As she took the water, her hands shaking, she realized something.

“...You look familiar. Where am I?” She fretted, sipping a little.

He sat across from her in a chair. “What's the last thing you remember?” He asked rather than answer.

She crossed her legs atop the couch and dabbed sweat off with her sleeve. It took some brain power to get any semblance of memory going. “I had some sort of weird... episode. Then I passed out in a parking lot. I think I need a hospital,” Chris groaned.

He grinned. “So you did hear it?”

“What?”

“You heard it? The thing that says its from another dimension?” He was star-struck.

Chris stared down into her cup, thinking. Flashes came back to her until finally she remembered everything, right down to the nausea. A chill came over her body so she sat the cold water down. “It wasn't a hallucination.”

“No it wasn't!” He exclaimed, shivering with excitement. “It spoke to me too! It told me where to find you since you fell unconscious! But we aren't the only ones. It spoke to even more.”

She quirked the corner of her lips and let that information sink in. Suddenly something came to her and she tilted her head curiously. “You're that man from the stage.”

“Call me Cole,” he scooted closer and stuck out a hand.

Chris hesitated, unsure. “Chris.” She shook his hand daintily.

He explained everything. The headache, the ringing in his ears, how he'd been packing up his laptop to leave backstage when the countdown hit zero. To everyone else it had been a disappointment, for this year the horn did not hum to the eager ears awaiting it. Instead, it narrowed down its focus and spoke to them. Chris and Cole, but others, too.

“It told me there were six others. That includes you. So outside of us there are five other people it spoke to directly,” he explained.

“But... why? Just seven people?”

He leaned back in his chair and shrugged, nonchalant. “I asked, after the initial shock and having dropped my laptop (may she rest in peace). It just said: you work for your government.”

Chris looked off, expression soured. It was true. The Postal Service was a branch of the government, but she hardly equated government with the mail.

“What do you do?” She asked him nervously.

“Department of Energy.”

Chris got the creeping notion that his house was vaguely radioactive. Or, at the very least, he was. “Great.” She stretched her legs over the couch's edge and stared at her shoes awkwardly. “So now what?”

“We wait to be called upon,” he answered simply. “I'll go start some tea,” and like that Cole was out the room.

So they waited and waited. Chris thumbed through books as she did, glancing at Cole's collection and idly sipping tea. Sometimes she'd get the fear that he was making it all up, that this was all a scheme to kidnap her without freaking her out. Or that maybe he was just some guy screwing with her head. But then her stomach would churn and she'd remember how it felt to be touched. Chris felt queasy. At the same time she couldn't help but feel... honored? It was strange. This was all so new to her.

Finally it came to them. This time there was no pain, no headaches or heartburn. Cole fell to his knees as soon as the creature spoke, but Chris just sank shakily back into couch, empty teacup in hand.

“You will be transported to a location for study,” it said.

Cole nodded his head and agreed instantly, but Chris found herself asking it: “Why? And where?”

“Why: a 'mutual' exchange of information in a controlled environment. Where: the center of your 'country' in a long-term observation facility.”

She balked. “For how long?” But Cole spoke over her.

“That's brilliant! Brilliant! Have you spoke to the president? Surely you have,” he clasped his hands together and smiled.

“...Yes. Unfortunately. Some deep convincing was needed to induce submission,” it replied with obvious irritation.

Chris was uncomfortable and suspicious of the wording, though she was not surprised the president was a nuisance to converse with. The creature assured them there would be at least a day or two before anyone came for collection, so they had some time to prepare. Cole questioned why this creature could not simply pick them up and plop them back down, but it was uncertain that such action would be healthy. So again they played a waiting game.

Chris went back to her house. Cole stayed in his. Sunday dawned upon the world and there was no one yet at their doors. Chris paced uneasily in her little home, her suitcases already packed in the living room. She didn't know what to do with herself. Couldn't even stomach trying to explain anything to Vincent or Mildred. Hell, did she even want to leave? She was sure she had no choice.

Finally, come Monday morning, there was a knock at her door. She jumped from bed and scrambled to answer, a measly robe tossed across her shoulders. A stoic man dressed in all black was there to greet her, his eyes unreadable though they crinkled. She could sense some strange dread in him from his hard posture alone. Only the automatic light of her porch lit their way as this stranger led her to the car.

Cole was there, his white teeth gleaming at her as she boarded. Despite his cheer, Chris felt like she was in a daze the entire time. Her hands settled frozen in her lap and eyes glued to the window. She watched her little town pass her by just as the night drifted to day. The ugly office building next to the apartments, the fenced off government buildings. There went the post office. She sighed.

Where are you? Vincent texted Chris when they were already hours from town.

Her thumbs hovered sleepily over the keys. She didn't know what to say. Eventually she just settled for:

It's been a long weekend. I don't know when I'll be able to come in again. Something's happened

…

Are you sick?

Don't know what I'm allowed to say. I'll text later. Xoxo

Well that's not totally vague but ok

…

Tell me if u need soup fam

Chris smiled at her phone. She really hoped this didn't cause her to lose her job, even if it was something way more pressing than delivering mail. She'd miss her co-workers the most. Even Mildred. With any luck the 'long-term' in 'long-term research facility' wouldn't be any more long-term than a vacation.

The driver drove non-stop, through the night and the day, across interstates and through small cities. It was unnerving. Cole whispered that he was sure the creature was to blame, even though it hadn't spoken the whole trip.

“It's fascinating,” he whispered.

Chris hummed and faked a smile in acknowledgment before staring back out the window. All she could think was what a weird vacation before she found herself nodding off.

“We've arrived,” the driver announced as sudden as summer rain.

Chris jerked, her stinging eyes glued in confusion to the dim window. They were inside of a painfully lit parking garage and there were droves of black-suits and white-coats to greet them. She must have fallen asleep for some time.

“Thank you,” she heard Cole dully as his door was opened for him. Her door was next.

“Have you been in contact?” Asked a man sternly, no trace of emotion in his voice.

She furrowed her brows. “What?”

He didn't miss a beat. “With the 4DB?”

Both she and her jittery acquaintance were being led away through the garage. Someone gently guided her through a door with a palm against her back.

“The... the Four Dee Bee?”

The man re-adjusted the wireless device in his ear, lips crinkling. “The Fourth Dimensional Being.”

Chris began to sweat and tried to explain. “Not since before we were told we'd be sent here, but-”

A woman patted her shoulder nonchalantly and shook her head. “Can't even wait till she's in the room huh?” She teased her co-worker, her heels clicking against the hall tile. “We're just eager, don't be afraid! You and Mr. Artrip will speak with a scientist and be briefed before joining the others. This was all very sudden so don't mind the dust bunnies.”

Chris nodded quietly, glancing ahead to get a glimpse of Cole- Mr. Artrip. This was all so weird and she felt she had some sort of jet lag. She wondered when she'd be allowed to talk with the creature again. It had been a few days now.

“And then after everyone's settled it's about meal time! But first,” she carefully pushed Chris into a dimly lit room, had a quick word with her co-worker, then silently shut the door. “Have a seat.”

She did as she was told. Chris sat before a small wooden table, as if this was meant to make the room more inviting than it really was. It just made her feel interrogated. Or like she'd been called to the principal’s office.

The woman took a seat across from her and peeked into a thin file. After a short pause she looked up, smiled, and said. “Chrysanthemum Sain... tell me everything.”

Read CH2 early on Patreon or wait for it to go public!

#terato #monster lover #monster romance #tentacles #exophilia #writing #short story

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