#and i know no matter anyone argues. they won't see. even when seeing all proofs

[000marie198]

Zionist in my replies would really go full enraged Israel apologist mode and then finish it with "Yes I know it's sad but they had to establish dominance with the other 99%" regarding what Israel is doing

Full on apartheid mindset and it's their own words, thanks for contradicting yourself ✌🏼

If you're a Zionist, 'both sides are suffering' supporter, 'Palestine is breaking treaty' rhetoric or Israel apologist, I'm not even gonna argue with you because there's no point if even after every evidence and proof you're still blind. You're getting blocked

[avatar4life]

"ughh" Reader groaned as she was drinking her daily dosage of moonstone tea and sighed in relief as the pain in her arms stopped momentarily and put down the cup. Ackley was there too, looking at her in worry "how much has it been hurting now?" He asked in a soft but voice filled with worry tone "twenty minutes" she said not looking at him as she put her long gloves back on. He sighed in resignation "it's getting worse. How long will it continue until the tea will not work anymore? We need to find a cure" he said getting up in frustration and despair "you think I don't know that? I know it's getting worse but we found nothing...I can feel her...her dark presence... she's getting closer" she said as she put her hands on the desk and leans forward, catching her breath from the early pain "...I know that you hate this, trust me i do too, but i can't do nothing about it." She looks at him as her eyes shows her resignation and pain. Ackley sighed and sat back down on the chair "...if she's getting closer then we need to be ready to fight. I can ha-" "no. I'll need to be ready. There is no need for bloodshed when all she wants is me." She immediately interrupted his train of thoughts, but soon he protested "Reader, she's going after your whole family" he said frustrated and aggravated "the only reason she wants that is because she knows that my family is the most important thing in my life. But she wants me. And I'll be dammed if I let anyone else get caught in the crossfire. I'll handle her" she said putting back her crown and mantle"but-" "that's an order from your queen Ackley. Step back" she said, her voice a mix of pleasing and stern in it. He stayed quiet for a moment before sighing and nodding, straightening his posture and keeping his head high "I understand" he said, even though his tone was calm, a hint of frustration laced in it. Her gaze softened and sighed for what felt like the hundreth time"I know you care for me. So all I'm requesting as your queen...is to keep the children safe" she said to him, looking back to see his response. He takes a deep breath, the children had always been his weakness "...I will. Until my last breath is drawn" he said to him her.

What they didn't know is that one of the the kids, of Jacaerys and Baela, heard them and walked away from the door before she could get caught by one of the knights or guards.

---------------------------------------------------

The boy was arguing with one of his half-siblings and the argument was heated heavily and before the sibling could realize she utter the words that will change everything "well maybe that's why your mother is going to die soon!" And as soon as those words came out of her mouth she covered it in shock. The boy looked at her in shock and disbelief "...what?" "I-i'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" but before she could finish her sentence he immediately walked away, his sisters following him as they marched towards Reader's chamber and without knocking they busted in "children! What is all this rockus. I told you to knock before entering a chamber of any kind" she said to them. The first girl looked at her with anger and frustration and despair "is it true?...are you dying?" She asked. Reader looked shocked at the words, and panicked by how they found out "...what?" "Don't play coy with us mother, Aella told us about it" the boy interrupted her, his voice laced with anger and frustration. She looked at them all with wide eyes and speechless "children. This is noihow you speak to your mother " Ackley reprimanded them "this is non of your matters captain of the knights and sworn shield. This is a royal matter" the second girl said with tears in her eyes "mother is it true?". Reader looked at them before sighing "I guess it's time I tell the truth" and so she explained everything to them and even showed her arms as a proof.

"if she is coming we need to be ready mother, let us use our dragons. If we all fight her she won't survive" her boy said to her "no. As both your mother and queen I command you to step aside from this. It's me she wants and it will be me who'll she get. I can't bare to lose any of you" she caressed each of their cheeks. "But-" "listen to your queen, young prince and princesses" Ackley said in a stern and firm tone as he stepped next to Reader. The children looked like they wanted to argue but gave up soon enough and all hugged her and Ackley.

---------------------------------------------------

Reader was caressing her first girl's hair as she looked at the window and with a heavy heart and determination she looked at the moon and squinted her eyes. Only one thing on her mind

'no one touches my family'

[dont-look-up-at-the-sky]

Something I find amusing about C.C. & Lelouch's relationship (spoiler: it's not amusing at all) As a premise, despite everything I'm going to say, CluClu is my otp and will ever be, so this is not intended as a hate shitpost, even if who doesn't like them as a couple is also absolutely welcome to give their take. Furthermore, the topic of my discourse is just their relationship regardless you see it as romantic or not.

Now, to get to the matter, let's take a look first at the other two girls. I've always felt that Lelouch relationship with Shirley and Kallen were somewhat unbalanced, since they clearly had deep, sincere feelings towards him, but as much as he reciprocated them (as friends or almost-lover it doesn't matter here), it's always been them to give the strongest evidence of these feelings. He obviously cared a lot about both, and if I'm being honest I think that Shirley could have been his first love, but he only shows how much important they are to him under dramatic circumstances or if solicited, in response to some showing of "affection" from their part.

In Shirley's case, when he kisses her back after her father's death, when he wipes off her memories, when he blushes because he was expecting her to kiss him and then, sadly, when she dies. As for Kallen, the strongest example that comes to mind to me is when he says "you have to live" after he lied so that she didn't sacrifice her life for him. (I won't take into consideration when he made a move on her, for the following reasons: because he was at his lowest point and was only looking for something to numb himself, sex was the same as drugs at that time, no less self-destructive, and definitely not an act of love; moreover, because he didn't show her any affection AT ALL—what he said to her was straight up insulting and degrading (I state this as a matter of fact, but I'm not judging him here, I could talk about this another time), not something I would proudly bring as a proof of his feelings for her. Lastly, because my point now it's not to demonstrate which girl he had ROMANTIC feelings for.)

Then we have C.C. The only one among the three whose feelings for him were ambiguous to say the least. For the most part of the story, she manipulated and used him for her purposes by encouraging him towards the path that was most convenient for her. She knew from the start the truth about his mother, she watched him struggle and never said a word because that could have made him falter in his determination. She was aware of Charles plans, which she had been complicit with in the past, and also that he had a geass, but never shared these informations with Lelouch, again because that could damage her aim. She was the person who more than anyone else saw how much he was suffering, and I believe she started to care about him even early on the story, but still this wasn't enough to stop her.

Obviously she was conflicted, she often looks torn between what she wants to gain from him and a genuine feeling that she can't allow herself to have. Also, we could argue that, had she really wanted to go all the way with her plan, she could have done so already by trying to kill him, in order to push him to accept the code as the nun did with her (we know from Charles and V.V. that's not necessary to wait for the geass to evolve in both eyes). But she never does this. Deep inside she's not as selfish as she pretends and would like to be, and at a closer look it's lecit to wonder if at some point her decision to stay at his side wasn't for her purposes anymore, even if that was what she kept telling herself—but this doesn't make her actions towards Lelouch any less wrong, any less selfish and manipulative.

As I stated before, among the three C.C. is the only one who, even if she truly had feelings for him, never prioritised them over herself. Even the scene where she comforts him after Euphemia's death is ambiguous, since those words and that gesture came from a person who was taking advantage of him all along.

What about Lelouch though? To me it's always been even shocking how open his feelings for her were (whether you intend them as romantic or not, again, it doesn't matter!). We know him as a person who always acts quite cold (even if he's not), but then we have "I don't know why snow is white, but I think it's beautiful", "If you're a witch then I shall become a warlock", "I promise you the smile you never had", even that snarky "I cannot be friends with a goddess, I've made a contract with the devil". He worries that she could get hurt or die even if he knows she's immortal. To not speak about how he allows himself to be vulnerable in front of her and just her.

So, to refer to the title, what I find "amusing" is how the girl he shows most openly his feelings for is exactly the one who apparently reciprocate less and, for a fact, the one whose reasons for being at his side have always been not totally genuine.

That could open another matter of analisys which I find interesting about Lelouch, namely how his relationship with Suzaku is an ulteriore example of how he clings the most to the people who somewhat reject him and don't give him any assurance that they won't leave him. From a psychological point of view, it seems in line with a young man who in his childhood has suffered from severe trauma bounded to loss and abandonment. It's common in these cases to have the strongest reactions to real or imaginary threats of abandonment, while unconsciously re-enacting the trauma by being emotionally driven towards those who show they could leave at any moment unless you make efforts to hold them back. But this could be the subject of another topic one day, a topic that I would probably call "why I think that Lelouch shows many symptoms of borderline personality disorder, despite the more popular fan-diagnosis that I feel are sometimes dued to a general misunderstanding of personality disorders". Well, that's it! I'm curious to read your opinions, if you like to share :)

[the-stanley-parable-roleplay]

How to avoid drama

The TSP fandom is not without its drama and cliques, which every fandom eventually crosses into.

You can avoid it and you should avoid it if you're not a part of it. It doesn't need to ruin your roleplaying experience.

You don't have to side with people, whether they're your mutuals or not. A lot of drama posts demand you interact or reblog to "prove" you're on the good side or to "spread the word" against the 'awful person' they're attacking, but more often than not, drama posts are just meant to bully people without actually protecting anyone.

Suddenly your dash is full of two sides arguing and you might even get angry anons in your inbox asking why you're siding with someone or calling you names.

Some tips to help you steer clear of it are

don't believe he said/she said posts (i.e: posts that just have statements like this person is toxic and you shouldn't write with them)

avoid call out posts. 99% you won't get all of the information anyway and if you don't know what's going on, that's all the more reasons to not get involved

block urls and tags that make you upset or uncomfortable (info below)

delete anons that try to get a rise out of you or turn off anons. You can also turn off messages and replies from non-mutuals (tumblr.com/settings/blog/yourblogurl)

don't let mutuals bully you into choosing a side. if someone demands you side with them or they will block/unfollow you, they're probably not worth keeping around

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BLOCK AND UNFOLLOW FOR ANY REASON. YOU DON'T OWE ANYONE ANY EXPLANATIONS. PERIOD.

NO one, no matter how close they are, are allowed to make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe or insulted. If they disrespect your boundaries, they are not a good friend.

What if this person is said to be a pedophile/groomer?

If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, you can block them! But again, keep in mind that he said/she said posts are not proof. If there's concrete evidence that someone is grooming or preying on minors, that's another story.

Note: I've been roleplaying since 2014 and the only time there was a groomer warning was for a fandomless blog that only briefly interacted with TSP blogs.

How do I blacklist urls/tags?

Go to Settings → Account → Scroll down to Content You See. When you filter a post or an url, Tumblr will block that post with a warning label.

Official Tumblr Article

What if I don't like that person?

Unfollow, block, soft block, it's your choice. You don't need to help harass anyone.

I'm scared to lose my partners if I don't agree with them / I don't want to lose a friendship / My friend is more important than this stranger they dislike

In the end it's your decision but if your friend is pressuring you to side with them in an argument with the threat of losing their friendship (whether spoken or unspoken), you have to decide for yourself if that's a relationship worth keeping around.

Especially since a) there's no telling if this will be the last time they demand this from you and b) they might turn on you if they decide you did something wrong.

This person writes problematic content / has a rude or hateful OC / tried to kill my character / has fucked up plots / uses a face claim I don't like / writes for a fandom I dont like / writes toxic or abusive ships / etc.

Absolutely none of these give you the greenlight to bully someone or help others bully them. You control your own experience. If you don't like a character, don't interact with them. If you don't like a plot, tell your partner you want to write another one. Something they write triggers you? Blacklist the tag or unfollow.

You are not a knight in shining armor if you get upset at something and decide to try and harass someone off the platform.

Roleplaying is fiction. None of these plots affect any real life people. If it triggers you, you can take the necessary steps to prevent yourself from seeing it.

[transfemlogan]

if i had proof/evidence i would’ve shared it literal years ago. i’m just trying to prevent anyone else from getting hurt by him. and after how everyone has handled this, i really don’t think opening my heart up and bleeding out for an angry mob who has been nothing but violent is in any way safe, especially since i’m not lucky enough to be able to “prove” it. they’ve made it clear they’ll never listen anyway. why bother…

the death threats concerns is because i was sent countless death threats and kms’s for literally nothing at all by fanders even when i was still with thomas. it kinda ruined fandom for me altogether and i can’t even engage much in any fandom anymore (not even for my special interests :( )because of it. i was anticipating that happening again. and i wasn’t exactly wrong.

i wont be coming back here so if you say anything to me i won’t see it. i don’t know how much more my damn heart can take. i just wanted to protect you all from him so he couldn’t ever hurt anyone else ever again. it hurts that everyone’s response is so cruel. just let me help you…

thanks for the donation btw. i’ll post proof on twitter of using it for necessities once i get everything i currently have going on sorted out. it’ll help, i do appreciate it. thanks

(sorry you were abused and disbelieved. sending solidarity. NO ONE should need to provide proof/evidence or share every gory detail or be able to perform the perfect victim or whatever to be believed. let’s build a world where it’s as simple as saying “this individual abused me” so no one ever goes through this again, shall we?)

hi, atlas. i know you said you won't see this if I reply, but that's alright.

i will be taking what you say in good faith. i know most people aren't, for obvious reasons, but any feelings I have on this ask or you I will not state.

I'm sorry for whatever happened to you. and it sucks not being able to prove yourself to others. Attempting to speak out, only to get ridiculed and attacked is one of the most scary things about trying to speak. Again, I can 100% relate as someone who grew up in an abusive household and was in an abusive relationship. I hope you can find the help that you need & I hope my donation helped at all.

I will say, however, creating a world where someone can just say something and have it be believed no matter what is not a world I want to live in. Which I know is hard for a lot of people to understand, because S/A & abuse is one of the worse things someone can do and whoever does it deserves a neverending punishment, but people are liars. And while people who lie abt S/A & abuse are a very small amount of people, it still happens.

And there's a different set of "rules" when it comes to certain situations. I expect my friends and family to believe me about my abuse, but I don't expect strangers to about another stranger without any proof. If my abuser somehow became super famous, I do not expect them to believe me immediately without any evidence, bexause anyone can just say anything.

(Plus, I'd argue not every situation is black and white— yes, my ex emotionally abused me and caused trauma that I still deal with today after 5 fucking years, but I do not view her as an abuser. We were both children and it was her first relationship. She was just a very insecure person and we were surrounded by the wrong group of friends. That's my specific situation, obviously, but me-a-year after it happened and me-5-years-later both have very differing views on the situation.)

I hope you can heal through whatever this is.

[missvelvetsstuff]

Where you goin, Star?

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Rich girl/poor biker

Chapter 5

Warnings: swearing, angst, vague oral.

Right after Bucky left town and Y/N was dealing with the after effects the D&C she had to have done due to her miscarriage, Helen Cho gave her Vicodin to help with the pain and cramping. Y/N kept taking it even after she was healed because it gave her a nice buzz and fogged everything up so it wasn't quite so painful. After a while it didn't help as much and Helen refused to give her any more so she found a doctor that would. The new doctor bumped her up to Percocet and after a year to oxycontin. She regularly took 3-5 pills a day.

Brock had caught on to her dependency but she was able to buy his silence. The cost was, unpleasant, but worth the peace the pills gave her.

Y/N spent the night of the funeral at her parents house after arguing with John about making it easier to go through her parents things. Even after he gave her a split lip, she refused to back down.

After he left she drowned her stress in half a bottle of her fathers good scotch and passed out in her old bedroom.

When she woke up, Brock drove her to her favorite cafe for coffee and ordered her favorite drink. After they drove away she opened her coffee and poured in some whiskey from the flask that she always carried. She mixed it in, replaced the lid and took a long drink, letting the warmth flow through her.

Back at the house she started going through her mother's things. Most would be given to local charities but she saved some items that had personal meaning to them. Time passed without her notice until Brock came to check up on her and she sent him to pick up some lunch even though she wasn't really hungry.

Going through the house was worse than she expected, especially on the third day, when she started on her fathers office. a

She found the receipt for a 1 million dollar cashiers check and the contract that Bucky had signed when he accepted the money. She already knew about it but seeing the physical proof that he left her for money, the day after seeing him for the first time in 3 years, was overwhelming. She couldn't breathe and felt like she was underwater. When she finally got herself under control she quickly popped an oxy and a Xanax, washing them down with the last drops in her flask. She pulled a bottle out from her father bar, refilled her flask and took a few good drinks straight from the bottle.

After she let those kick in she started getting angry. Angry at Bucky, at her father, at John and anyone else she could think of. She needed to see her horses, it had been almost a month since she was able to stop by. She stood up a little too quickly and had to grab the desk to steady herself.

"Brock!" She yelled and waited for him to appear.

"Yes ma'am?" He asked when he arrived.

"I want to go see my horses."

Brock grinned lecherously "You know you're supposed to get the ok from Mr Walker before you go."

She smiled sweetly "Please Brock, you know I won't tell him."

He looked her up and down "What's my incentive sweetheart."

Y/N rolled her eyes "The usual. When we get there."

Brock smirked and walked away "Rollins! Let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky, Steve, Sam and Peggy woke up late, had a leisurely breakfast and then headed to Tony Starks office to finalize their business. Once everything was signed champagne was poured.

Tony smiled "Never thought I'd be doing business with any of Nick Fury's Howling Commandos but I believe this venture will be very profitable for all involved. I have other matters to take care of but I will see you all for the groundbreaking tomorrow. Feel free to stay and finish the champagne or take it with you if you prefer." He shook their hands and left.

Steve drank his glass down "I don't know if I'll ever get used to how that man lives. Hell I'm still getting used to the idea of a house for me and Peg without you dirtbags around all the time." He smirked at his friends.

Bucky nodded "We weren't exactly enjoying your nightly reminders of how in love you were. A little house of my own sounds perfect."

Sam grinned "Not too little, Star is used to the finer things"

Bucky scowled at him "I don't want to get ahead of myself. I have to get her to talk to me first."

Steve nodded "Yeah she definitely didn't seem happy to see you. Who knows what Walker and her father have put her through the last few years. Quill has been watching her stable for a week and she hasn't been by once."

A short while later, Steve's phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket. "She appears to be on her way to the stable with her bodyguards, Rumlow and Rollins. No sign of Walker."

Bucky nodded "Not ideal but maybe I can get her to listen."

When they pulled up across the street from her place, Quill came up to the car shaking his head. "You don't want to go in there, Barnes."

Bucky glared at him "yeah, I do."

"I'm pretty sure you don't. They're uh, not decent."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Bucky stormed towards the barn, so angry it took him a minute to notice the sounds. He stoped dead.

"Fuck princess, your mouth is heavenly. John is a lucky man. If I had you in my bed I wouldn't be putting my dick in anyone else. Oh god, yes. Just like that princess. Fuck! I'm gonna cum. Take it slut. Swallow it all down." Brock growled then shouted when he was done.

"Jesus Brock, shut the fuck up. You want someone to hear and tell John? He'll kill us both.

And could you maybe eat some pineapple once in awhile? Too much garlic."

"First of all, your husband doesn't have the balls to kill anyone, that's why he has me. And princess, you should be used to the taste by now."

"It's not like I'm doing it for fun. Now that I've paid for my trip to the stable, could I have some time alone with my horses?

Bucky felt like he was gonna be sick hearing all that but realized he needed to hide before Brock saw him. That confrontation was coming but he needed to talk to Star first so he ducked into an empty stall until Brock passed.

Y/N stood at the door of Lulu's stall talking softly to her when she heard someone coming up behind her "Jesus Brock could I have more than 30 seconds? I'm not blowing you again!"

Bucky felt his heart breaking for her and growing guilt for leaving her to this. "It's not Brock, Star."

She turned around and scoffed "I thought I made myself pretty clear, Barnes. I have nothing to say to you. Run off and find your pet, Dot. Leave me alone."

Bucky just looked at her sadly which angered her more "Barnes! I told you get the fuck out. John will kill us both if he catches us together and while your life is meaningless to me, I'm not quite ready to kick it yet."

"Star, please. I-"

She slapped him. Again. "Have you suffered a blow to the head? Don't call me that."

She started pacing "Why can't you just leave me alone? Haven't you done enough?"

"Please Star, I want to help." Bucky grabbed her and pulled her to him and she fought him

"I don't need or want your help. Let me fucking go. God dammit Barnes. Let me go!!"

He released his grip on her. "Just let me say my piece and I'll leave you alone." He sighed "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I don't know what happened while I was gone but I'm sorry you had to go through it. I never meant for any of this to happen"

"Doesn't matter what you meant to happen, you ghosted me and my life went to shit. Told me how much you loved me, then disappeared without a trace, leaving me in my father's clutches."

Bucky looked at her surprised "Without a trace? No, Star I gave-" she slapped him again.

"Don't fucking call me Star and get the Hell off of my property. Now." She pulled a gun out of her purse. Nothing big or fancy but enough to hurt. "I mean it Barnes, leave me alone."

Bucky's eyes grew wide at the sight of her pointing a gun at him but he sighed in resignation and left.

After he was gone Y/N leaned against Lulu and cried into her mane. Lulu rubbed her head against Y/N and made comforting nickers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve was still waiting and saw the look on Bucky's face as he approached the car and sighed. Obviously it didn't go well. Again.

Bucky climbed into the car and grumbled "I don't want to talk about it. It's already beyond fucked and I don't know the whole story."

Sam patted him on the shoulder "It'll help if you get it off your chest. Besides if we're gonna do this we all need to know what we're up against."

Bucky shook his head, the sounds of her with Brock wouldn't go away. He was grateful he hadn't seen anything but he knew it would still haunt him.

"Fine. When I walked in she was blowing Rumlow, I didn't see it but I heard it. She has lost a lot of weight. A lot. I could smell alcohol on her breath. She slapped me twice and when I wouldn't leave she pulled a gun on me." He looked at Sam and spat "Happy?" Then slammed back in the seat with his arms crossed.

Sam shook his head, understanding where Bucky's anger was coming from but knowing that's not what they needed. "Damn, that's pretty bad. You think there's more?"

Bucky nodded "looking in her eyes I could tell. She's taking something. They weren't really red so I don't think it's weed but they were glassy and just a bit off-focus. Coke or maybe pills, I don't know but it ain't sober."

Bucky put his head in his hands and tried to hold the tears back.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. None of this was in the plan. We were supposed to be back 2 years ago."

He looked at Sam "She said I ghosted her, left without a trace but that's not true I gave Rumlow-" he shook his head "Obviously he didn't give it to her. That bastard got himself a pretty sweet life at her expense." He started breathing heavily, anger morphing into rage

"I'm gonna kill him"

Steve spoke up "Buck, you need to calm down. We need to make a new plan."

Bucky shook his head "Maybe I should just leave her alone. What if I come in to help and make things worse? We just need to get our business going and then I can." He just stopped talking when he saw movement across the street. It was Star and she was headed right for them, she stumbled but caught herself before she fell.

"Steve, Sam, Peggy." She nodded curtly at them "Please don't take this personally but y'all need to get the fuck away from me. I don't wanna talk about it or hear whatever excuses you've concocted. My husband is not above having his men inflict pain on those who cross him. That includes me. I'm not interested in taking another beating because of Barnes.

Just go."

She turned around, taking a second to stabilize herself, and walked back onto her property.

Bucky looked at Steve "Another beating? What the hell?"

Steve shrugged "I don't know Buck, seems like there's quite a bit more to the story. She have anyone close to her that we could talk to?"

Bucky shook his head "her mom was the only one before me and she passed not long after we left. She was close to Peggy but."

The rest of that thought was left hanging in the air as they all considered the situation.

Peggy broke them out of their fog "Let's get back to the hotel and we can brainstorm. After the ceremony tomorrow we'll start working on saving Star."

Bucky shook his head "Even if she needs rescuing, I doubt the so called friends that disappeared on her 3 years ago are the people she's going to trust. She hates me most but there wasn't any love for the rest of you either."

Bucky came to a decision "I need to have a talk with Brock. He should be with her at her fathers house."

After spending the afternoon trying to figure out what to do they ate dinner and settled in for the night.

Except Bucky. He was a man on a mission and Brock Rumlow was about to feel some payback. He bid his friends good night and caught a cab to her parents house.

Chapter 6

[naoko-world]

I posted 5,451 times in 2022

That's 5,451 more posts than 2021!

668 posts created (12%)

4,783 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@omgcheez (Like of course)

@encantoisawesome

@immabethehero

@neon-green-eyes (Of course)

@sleeplessdreamer14

I tagged 4,163 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#encanto - 2,468 posts

#bruno madrigal - 1,628 posts

#encanto fanart - 805 posts

#mirabel madrigal - 534 posts

#fanart - 480 posts

#pepa madrigal - 392 posts

#julieta madrigal - 384 posts

#bruno fanart - 285 posts

#isabela madrigal - 264 posts

#camilo madrigal - 257 posts

(I guess we can see where my interests goes XD

Longest Tag: 115 characters

#they'd argue about me being queer like some people thinking i'm straight and some others thinking i'm totally queer

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

OMG I love it! Yeah they all need therapy but not all of them would agree to go. Don't be shy! Seeing a therapist isn't sooo bad!

Oh and... Fic ideaaaa!!!!

(Which I ended up writing! 3 chapters for now!)

289 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#4

Analysis: Disney Princesses were never bad role models

Like a lot of people I grew up with Disney movies. Snow White even gave me my love of apples (true story!). My favorite was Beauty and the Beast because I thought "Belle looks like me and we are fond of the same thing." Even so, like an awful lot of people I thought the Disney princesses were weak girls only waiting for Prince Charming to save them without doing anything to help their situation.

I was wrong though: Disney Princesses were never weak or dumb! They're great characters with deep and various personalities! I'm here to argue that point to you in analysing the old ones + Ariel because she's known as the first strong one + Rapunzel because she's an interesting case.

Sorry, it's a really long essay... And thank you to my proofreader for proofreading it this time, you're the best!

Snow White case

First one to be analysed... Snow White... Aka "The one I can't stand". Yet I'll defend her because I don't like her but I can't let people talk badly about her!

To defend her, anyone would have replaced the movie into its context as if it was the only way to defend the character to be a bad one. From what I know of and searched, at that time most women were housewives and Snow White gives them some credits so of course it can be used to defend the movie, I won't deny it! However that would mean she's still a bad role model today and I don't think it helps her case. Intention doesn't matter when one criticizes something so I won't talk about the context and you'll see I don't need it to defend Snow White!

Yes, Snow White is a kind princess that talks to animals. We even see her in the beginning talking to a nestling that fell from its nest to help it like we help a human child. We also see the animals of the forest helping her many times like cleaning the house with her. How thoughtful of them!

Yet no, she's not weak of dumb. During the movie, she even do some sensible things as:

Fleeing when meeting the prince when he approached her at the start of the movie

When the hunter tells her to flee she is trying to understand what is happening and actually understand once he pronounces the queen's name.

Yet she hesitates, clearly wondering if it is true, but ends up fleeing because she knows her step-mother and knows she's capable of trying to kill her.

When she starts acting as a mother to the dwarfs she's kind, smiling, but strict enough to ask them for proof when they tell her they washed their hands. Seeing it not being the case, she pushes them to wash them if they want to eat. Which is what a good mom would do, to teach some manners to their children.

Before that, when arriving at the Dwarfs' house she starts cleaning because she thinks doing that will maybe make them want her to stay. The girl is interested and clever! A bit rude too, you don't clean people's houses without asking permission.

Then when the dwarfs discover her, after guessing (correctly) their names she starts to negotiate so that they would permit her to stay in their home. She even answers every concern of them with actual good arguments, such as The Queen not having any way to know where she is, and suggesting she could cook. Well, she showed how useful she was in cleaning so cooking wouldn't be a problem for her either. I can understand they agree. I tell you, negotiating well is a quality requiring intelligence!

At some point she laughs at Grumpy for being... Well Grumpy! It's his name and when she guessed it she made a big angry voice to joke about it. Good humor is a sign of intelligence!

Snow White is a sensible woman then, who takes smart decisions and thinks before taking them. I'm pretty sure that, if she ever existed in our world, she would fight fake news. Actually the dwarfs are the stupid ones! Yes guys... It's water so, yes, it's wet.

I'll conclude my part on Snow White in talking about her supposed weakness. To do so, I'll talk about an interesting part of the movie: Snow White eating the apple the transformed Queen gives her.

What I didn't remember (since each time I wanted to watch it as an adult I quickly stopped because of how I couldn't stand her) is how Snow White was basically forced to eat that apple. And wouldn't have if the circumstances had ever been different. I mean, if the animals didn't attack The Queen for example, Snow White wouldn't have made her enter the house to help her recover. Actually she refused at first to eat the apple but The Queen argued a lot, insisted, and I honestly know a lot of people at her place who would have been confused enough to be convinced. It's how conspiracy theories as the flat earth one works! Snow White was convinced by the same way that conspiracy theories work: a lot of arguments and not letting your opponent think so they can be convinced in the moment. Some will stay convinced, others won't because they would have thought about it afterwards or simply done some research.

Snow White shows little girls they should learn to adapt, looking for proof when in front of a claim, and not acting without thinking before! I say it's good to teach them.

About personality Snow White is a sensible 14 years old girl that can be kind or strict depending on what is needed. She can act, like when she makes the animals go away from the disguised Queen or when she decides to clean the house so the dwarfs would want her to stay, and she mostly stays positive.

Cinderella Case

For Cinderella I'll try to avoid talking too much about Cinderella III where she's at her best since we can see her use her cleverness and bravery. It's the best of the trilogy and where she's the most active but that movie was made to respond to the critics about her being too passive in the first movie.

See the full post

342 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#3

I'm bored... So here are some of my favorites take of Bruno from when I watched and made a lot of screenshots!

Because I'm obsessed with him!

See the full post

467 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

#2

My commission by @kinschi is ready! I'm so glad I could have Bruno holding the Pan Flag drawn by her, she's one of my favorites fanartists!

Because in my head Bruno is Pansexual!

I'll see to put it as a profile picture, I hope it'll fit well and we would be able to see well Bruno & the flag!

769 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

First part of the pages of the Encanto book that got released recently in France

See the full post

1,249 notes - Posted April 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[presskmewleroux]

I'm just gonna rant because the ACOTAR fandom annoys the shit out of me and nothing is gonna change until SJM releases the next book and they stop being bored (although I bet they'll still be annoying because what they want to happen, won't ever happen)

I genuinely don't know if anti-cassian/nesta/nessian people didn't actually read the book or they went into it having seen other anti posts before so they went into it already having preconceived negative thoughts. Or they lack reading comprehension skills and can't understand the tone in which things are being said/done. Or they're just simply overly critical for no real reason other than the fact they had thoughts on how these books were supposed to go and are upset with SJM's direction, in which case I would say: ok then stop reading this story.

I genuinely don't think anything Cassian did or said was bad, especially in the way some people make it out to be. He said some hurtful things? Yes, sure. He also IMMEDIATELY apologized. Is that not healthy? He said things in anger, Nesta said things in anger. It is literally stated in these books how much she used words to hurt him, though it was to protect herself and push him away.

It's not like he punched her in the face and called her a waste of space, that everything would be better if she had died (bringing up Rowan and Aelin from TOG because I literally never see anyone hate on him after he did that the way I see people hate on Cassian for saying two (T W O) mean things to Nesta throughout the entire series.

"Oh but he didn't say or think that he loved her." This is how I KNOW they're not reading or are just being stupid on purpose. It is literally a literary technique to SHOW NOT TELL. I've said this before: it is better to end a scene with a kiss after one party's love confession rather than end it with the 2nd party verbally reciprocating. If you read all these ACOTAR books, you should know Cassian loves Nesta.

And don't bring that BS of "he only wants a mate." They all want mates! It's a blessing in their culture. He had suspected they were mates when they met while she was still human. Did he push it on her? No! It had been 2 years of them knowing/meeting each other before the events of ACOSF.

Don't even get me started on the people saying he's abusive lmao like WHAT!? Also saw someone say this and used Azriel as "proof" when he asked if someone pushed Nesta down the stairs, which was LITERALLY said with "amusement." Meaning Azriel was joking, he wasn't serious. This is why I don't think these people understand tonality and lack media literacy. This is 1 of the many examples of you not understanding the text, whether that be on purpose or just through not paying attention.

You can dislike the events of ACOSF, you can dislike how Nesta's problems were handled but that's just a matter of opinion because anybody who has dealt with a loved one's substance abuse will tell you one of two things: either you cut them out completely and let them destroy themselves because they need to want to help themselves; or you give them tough love and do whatever you can to get them through it because the alternative is letting them waste away and die. You can argue the logistics with Nesta's fae anatomy blah blah blah, everything she was doing was a way of self-harm. She wasn't drinking or screwing around because she was a party girl having fun. She was punishing herself and they all let it go on for almost a year, thinking she would snap out of it if they let nature take its course. So when that didn't happen, it was time for another plan.

I understand that there will be different interpretations to literature, but at this point it's beyond that. People are ignoring what is actually happening in these books and making unsupported claims that are just based on their own fantasies.

I've read everything SJM has written and there's not one character in ACOTAR (aside from the actual villains) that I dislike. Rhys, Feyre, Amren, Mor - I like them all. I couldn't care less that not everyone gets along all the time or sometimes someone was mean to someone else. Literally do not care that the Archeron sister's had beef. I am the youngest of 4 kids, I have 2 older sisters and an older brother. My older sisters H A T E D each other growing up. I don't know why some readers act like it doesn't happen or that their relationships with one another shouldn't be depicted the way they are. It's one of the most real things SJM has ever written lol. If you associate a character with someone in your personal life that has treated you poorly, well I'm sorry but that's exclusive to you and not something you can or should force on other readers. By the time the story ends, all the characters who were mean or nasty to each other are gonna be the best of friends. I would bet money on that. Watch Mor and Nesta become as close as Aelin and Lysandra did.

Now for Eris. Y'all can like him I guess, but there is literally no reason to support any of the headcannons being made for him. "He belongs with Nesta, he would treat her better." WHERE? Where did you come to that conclusion? Where was their chemistry I'm somehow missing??? Nesta was very clearly playing him the entire ball. It literally says she forces herself to swallow, to shiver. She's putting on a show for him like she was asked. Like the OP says, "Had he [Cassian] really believed what he’d seen on this dance floor?" Meaning her reactions/interactions with him were not R E A L. And the amount of people who think SJM will do ANOTHER Tamlin/Feyre/Rhys type of romance is crazy lol that would be BEYOND lazy writing and just plain boring. Also - have we just not been paying attention to Nesta's character at all? Eris was interested in her from a political/social standpoint...something Nesta has been groomed for her whole life. She doesn't want that! And lets talk about Beron abusing the lady of autumn. Helion says it continues but Beron knows to abuse her in places that are easily hid. Does Eris stop that? I've seen someone say he does defend his mother, but literally all signs point to NO since again, Helion acknowledges that the abuse has been ongoing. Does this seem familiar? Like how Thomas Mandray didn't defend his mother from his father's abuse? No necessarily saying Eris and Thomas are on the same level, especially since it's hinted Eris may not be as bad as he seems. But again, saying he's anything other than what we've been shown so far is literally just fanfiction headcannons you WANT to happen.

Also there's kind of a pattern with SJM books/character relationships: if there's like long drawn on explicit scenes between characters, that is usually the endgame. Celaena/Chaol had their one moment, barely anything explicit in that. Aelin/Rowan there's more spice. Tamlin/Feyre have a couple of scenes, again it's barely explicit and it's barely a paragraph. Can you imagine SJM disregarding everything in ACOSF and trying to convince people that relationship was a fluke and we must all become attached to a new ship? Never would happen lol.

Also may be isolating a lot of fans on either side with this take but the way people are so quick to believe him over Mor or believe he didn't do anything wrong and she's lying or fabricating the story seems really homophobic and misogynistic to me. I can understand SJM may have dropped the ball acknowledging Mor's sexuality/queerness and didn't do it in the best way but idk the hatred for her is so weird and forced to me. Also forcing the potential betrayal storyline on her. Like if I'm wrong in the future feel free to call me out on here but I don't see any of the IC or MAIN characters betraying anyone. If a betrayal is gonna happen it's gonna be with a secondary character. It may very well be Eris betraying Beron or him betraying the Night Court. Like I think y'all are giving SJM way too much credit with these plot twisty storylines lol.

Speaking of SJM's writing and y'all giving her too much credit: there's no way this series is killing off any main character, especially the ones that have been the focus of the series. Rhys, Feyre, Nesta, Cassian are safe and you can't convince me otherwise. Because unlike some, I've read TOG and I know the core characters are getting their happy endings. Also think the rest of the IC, Elain, Emerie, Gwyn and Azriel are safe because again: they're gonna get their happy endings. SJM is a happy ending writer. The TOG characters that were killed off were secondary and although they may have had big impacts on the overall story, they were just never main characters and you knew that. If any "main" character is gonna die it'll be Tamlin if he doesn't get a redemption (which I don't think he will because the story is just not about him anymore. It's more likely for him to die than get a redemption storyline, although you can argue that his redemption will be in his death.)

Speaking of Tamlin idk where the sudden surge of defenders of him came from. The way people hate on Cassian who didn't do anything wrong aside from say two somewhat hurtful sentences, but go to the mat for Tamlin is insane to me. You can like morally grey characters, you can like characters who have done bad things but it's the hypocrisy that gets me.

OK rant over. Agree or disagree, who cares lol this is literally just a rant if you're looking to pick a fight and argue back and forth over which one of us is right please look elsewhere

Anti Cassian focusing on sentences like "everyone hates you" or the damn "shackled" or the dance scene with Eris.

As if there was no after...

Yes Cassian said "everyone hates you" but the next day he said

“I didn’t mean what I said last night—about everyone hating you.” She halted, her blue-gray eyes frosting. “It’s true.”

“It’s not.” He dared one step closer. “You’re here because we don’t hate you.” He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. “I wanted you to know that. That we don’t—that I don’t hate you.”

Shackled. But then this happens.

“No. I was angry—it’s not true.”

“You are my mate, Cassian,” she said against his lips, and kissed him softly. “And you’re mine,” he said, kissing her in turn.

She smiled, and damn if it wasn’t the loveliest thing he’d ever seen. “You.” “You’ve had me from the moment you met me.”

Nesta even admitted that she faked everything with Eris, the man that wasn't even able to be this interesting to distract her from the music.

Eris being interested in Nesta just for her power is red flag.

Nesta was more focused on the music than Eris. That's a fact.

Had he [Cassian] really believed what he’d seen on this dance floor?

Antis always the first to say "read between the lines" and they're blinded when it comes to Nessian.

Nesta with Cassian is just...

It softened some crucial piece of her...

His eyes did not, would not, leave her face.

Cassian smiled at her, and the world faded away. The music was no longer the most beautiful thing in existence. He was.

Antis "forgetting" those scenes, Nesta's own words, Nesta's own reaction -even if they claim her to be their favourite- and Nesta's feelings, just because they don't like Cassian.

It's poor.

It also means that being unable to take pieces without manipulating or decontextualizing them.

[kiefbowl]

Kief, one of my libfem mutuals reblogged a post criticizing radfems who have been saying that American women should stop having sex with men in light of roe being overturned. it said that these radfems sound like conservatives who say that 'if you don't want a baby, don't have sex,' and I honestly completely agree with the anti-radfem OP despite being one myself. Its completely unhelpful & misogynistic to put the onus on women here for so many reasons. Why do so many rfs latch onto this pov?

you sent this a few days ago and I sat on it because I wanted to give it a good think. I don't think I've been very public about my opinions on a sex strike, so I wonder why you assumed I would be in agreement with you completely...but also I am finding it difficult to agree with how some women are handling this subject online. So, I'll dive in, I'm sure I will piss off people left and right and up and down, but so be it.

The idea of a sex strike is, imo, useful (more on that in a bit), but I hate the language. I hate the women are calling it a sex "strike." Some may think this is pedantic, but words also matter. A strike implies sex as some sort of labor, and that the labor will then continue once our demands are met. Surely we as women want to distance ourselves from this imagery? Men are conditioned to believe that sex is a woman's labor, and that he is owed it. I suppose one could argue "sex strike" speaks to a man's idea of sex and therefore is useful in that regard to get the meaning across, but I think that ground isn't worth losing. Sex is not labor, it's not a product, it's not owed to anyone, and the fact that we discuss sex like this wrt to women is proof of our dehumanization.

So what do I think is useful? I think it's useful to empower women to consider their sexual relationships as something they can attempt to safeguard in order to protect themselves, prioritize themselves, and to assume sex with men comes with risks. Celibacy is an amazing political idea, very powerful, very woman centered and actively does not benefit men, in fact it harms their position as the group that controls reproduction. I know some people have trouble understanding that someone, for example me, can understand the significance and power of a political idea without actually living it, because I'm not celibate. I do have a bf, and we do have sex. There are no other details I'm going to give regarding our sexual relationship, but I won't lie about this. Even so, I deeply encourage my straight and bi followers to deeply consider the significance political celibacy can be for your life as a woman, to be that utterly in control of your sexuality when it's assumed you are a resource for men to use.

Even so, it's not easy, and it's understandable why it's not easy. If there are women who say it is easy because it's easy for them, all I can say is that I'm happy it can be an unambiguous choice for them. Many women have fraught lives, it's easy to come online and say one thing and find it very difficult to live through for reasons that will not be obvious to an outside observer. I don't think it proves any lack of character or political motivation to see women struggle with their own sexual agency in a world that is actively demanding sex from them and harming them when they provide it. Feminism is not just political activism, that's one component, but it's also a framework to understand our position in our society. It provide a context to understand the lives we live.

What has angered me is how flippantly women have thrown around the hypothetical "abused woman" to say well of course not them. Who is this silent, obviously marked, hidden abused woman who knows she is abused and therefore exempt from political actions? When women express fear that their relationships will turn abusive if they "with-hold" sex, is she not demonstrating the reality of female sexuality? "Of course not abused women, we mean the un-abused women should not have sex" who are in these clearly delineated groups? How does one woman know she's in one group and not the other? All I'm saying is a little more care is needed when discussing the reality of women who are partnered with men.

[running-in-the-dark]

I really wish gaslighting wasn't one of those terms that gets misused to the point of losing its meaning.

I need to vent and this is going to be long, so -

I just watched a long video about gaslighting. it was by a psychologist and it was pretty in depth. and it basically confirmed that my mother has been gaslighting me (and the rest of my family) my entire life.

she always invalidates my feelings (I have no reason to be upset, I shouldn't be crying, I'm not hurt, nothing happened so I have no reason to be angry). she lies about doing or not doing things. big things, but also small, insignificant things. she also has a very, very good memory. I don't. she knows the birthday of everyone she's ever known, everyone's phone numbers, what she did on a specific day 40 years ago, everything. I can barely remember what I did last week (I just tried, I honestly have no idea).

so it's always been hard to argue with her about this stuff. proof doesn't matter. other people confirming my experience because they were also there doesn't matter. she says she has a great memory, she remembers everything exactly as it was, how could she possibly be wrong?

it doesn't matter that I know I'm right. it doesn't matter that often, other people can confirm I'm right. it doesn't matter that we all often talk about her doing this, so it's not just me. I still can never believe my version of things. not just with her, with everyone. even on my own. I can't trust myself because I've been conditioned to believe that I must be wrong. she won't listen, she won't admit I'm right, so I must be wrong. it's the only logical explanation.

why else would someone do this? why would they keep insisting on their version of things if it's not true?

for the longest time, everyone else just always believed her. I was a 'difficult' teenager (= severely depressed, neglected, suicidal) so of course I was just being dramatic and argumentative for no reason. why would my mother lie? it's absurd, of course she wouldn't. so I had to be a liar and a bad person.

there's things that I know - KNOW - she is lying about. like the time she disappeared to live with her boyfriend in the Black Forest for several months. I was 10 or 11, so I didn't even remember how long it was exactly, my dad told me later. all I knew was: she disappeared, I didn't see her for so long that when I did finally see her again, it was like meeting a stranger. it doesn't matter to me where she was that entire time. I know there was at least a year where I did not see her at all (my brothers did, I remember that, but I definitely didn't. that moment of seeing her again is not something I'll ever forget, the feeling was.. extremely unsettling).

but I can never talk about that. she gets ... furious if I try. says my dad made that all up, or his then-girlfriend, or I'm imagining, exaggerating, misremembering. my dad's dead, so he can't confirm it (and he never did when he was alive either. no one but me ever directly contradicts her about anything). my brothers were too young to really understand any of it, and they've lived with her much longer than I did. she's talked to them about it enough that they wouldn't believe me.

I think the reason I felt so much better when I was in therapy was that it meant there was an outside person, someone objective, who could confirm that my thoughts and feelings and experiences weren't irrational. that my mother's behaviour isn't normal. it doesn't matter that *I know* it isn't - I'm wrong. it doesn't matter that the few friends I've talked about this stuff with told me it isn't - they like me, so they must be lying to me. that's what she's always said, after all. so it must be true.

the thing that makes this all much more complicated now is that I think my mother might have dementia. she's in her late 60s, and she's been forgetting things. not things she'd have any reason to lie about - nothing she could use to manipulate anyone. she forgot I have a tattoo that I've had for years. it was a big deal when I got it, she wouldn't stop being mean about it, so I definitely remember that I showed it to her at the time. my husband and my brothers also remember (she really made a big deal out of it). she was clearly distressed when we kept insisting she knew this. there's been other things she forgot that we've definitely talked about. and my brothers have mentioned she keeps telling them the same stories again as if it's the first time - they don't seem concerned about this, just annoyed.

I've been thinking (worrying) about that a lot lately, and it's made me realise how fucking complicated this is because of... the way she is. it's basically impossible to explain my worries about this without explaining 'actually she does just lie about things all the time, or she really remembers everything completely differently, who knows, so it's difficult to know if this is just part of that somehow'. that's not normal. no one understands that.

unfortunately, the more I think about any of this the more I feel like it's probably all in my head, and actually everything is probably just all in my head. she keeps saying our childhood was good so maybe it was.

maybe she didn't disappear, maybe she really never yelled, maybe I was a horrible child, maybe it was my fault somehow. maybe I am selfish. maybe I really was horrible that one time when I called her a bitch because swearing is bad and disrespectful (doesn't matter that I said it because she yelled some horrible, disgusting things at me. and that I was 14/15. it was 15 years ago and she still brings it up as an example of how bad I am). maybe I was a monster for biting her a couple of times when she wouldn't let me leave the room and wouldn't stop yelling and I was in a corner and I was scared (but she definitely never slapped me in the face so hard that my lip started bleeding and then wouldn't let me get out of the car and go to my dad's place, so I was stuck in the car for over an hour while she went to her dentist appointment. I just made that up and then never told anyone about it for.. reasons, I guess).

maybe I made up the time she laughed in my face when I was sobbing and asking her 'why can't you just be nice like other mothers?' and she said 'you should be grateful that I don't look or dress like the other moms in [her village]' because apparently her looks are more important than the way she treats me. maybe all the times I wrote her a letter explaining why the way she treated me hurt me, only for her to read them to everyone and then laugh at me, are just in my head too.

I wish I was exaggerating, sometimes I really do wonder if I'm just a horrible lying monster who is mean for no reason. I always think everyone I talk to must know I'm awful and a liar. all the time. sometimes I believe her when she says my brothers are even scared of me because I'm so horrible all the time (doesn't matter that I know it's not true).

even in therapy I could never fully explain why I can't believe my own thoughts even when I know I'm right, and why no amount of being told 'you're right, this isn't okay' changes anything about that. I still can't. I need external validation for the smallest things and I don't think I ever realised just how much that affects my life.

[talkfantasytome]

Going to delete ask posts that directly linked other people's posts, based on this feedback and suggestion (which I thoroughly appreciate!), as I'm not trying to point fingers at anyone or directly tell a specific person they're wrong. I'll repost the general content, with a summary of what was asked, starting with this post.

Anon Ask: Some people are saying that SJM has confirmed Vassien by saying that she'd like to do retellings of firebird legends, swan lake, and Vasilisa the Beautiful, using some shots of her comments. What are your thoughts on this? And the time on facebook that Sarah said E\ain and Lucien have a lot of "tension, growth, and healing to be found (together)".

The most important thing to consider here is timeline. Both of the twitter shown were made in April of 2015. The first one is, honestly, fairly irrelevant. First of all, she's just saying fairy tales she might like to retell. And, for the record, she has also said she'd like to do a retelling of The Little Mermaid, yet often people disregard that as an argument for Gwynriel. So, either her comments on what she'd like to do a retelling of matter, or they don't.

And, if they're saying that those comments are foreshadowing a Vassa + Lucien book, then clearly The Little Mermaid comments are foreshadowing a Gwynriel book. And then...where's E\ain's?

E\ain is getting a book, so which fairy tale gets the short straw?

Or, maybe, the story won't be exactly like the fairy tale.

I do think that both of those comments are important, but Sarah said she wants to do a retelling.

That could literally mean anything. All that tells us is that she will take themes and ideas from the story. I'm not saying Vassa won't be important in a later book, but Sarah can retell the story any way. She could have Vassa betray E\ain, get Koschei to transfer the curse over to the middle Archeron, and now E\ain is the swan on the lake (cause, come on, E\ain's def. a bit swan-like), and Lucien has to rescue her. Or, maybe Jurian is the one that rescues Vassa while Lucien and E\ain deal with Koschei?

There are so many options in a retelling that to say SJM telling us she wants to do a retelling of these stories is a clear sign that Vassa + Lucien are endgame is, honestly, not a very critical analysis.

I'm going to address this tweet next:

This twitter exchange happed April 30, 2015. ACOMAF was published in May of 2016. This post can not be used as foreshadowing of Vassa + Lucien, because it happened before we found out E\ain and Lucien are mates. That "at some point further down the road" literally means "any time after book 1".

People keep using this tweet and presenting it as if Sarah's response came recently. They're spreading misinformation - it may not be purposeful, they may not have seen or noticed the date, but this twitter exchange can't be used as proof that Lucien's person has to be someone other than E\ain, because when it was made we did not know about the Lucien and E\ain possibility.

That doesn't mean it definitely is talking about E\ain, but my point is that this is not proof of Vassa + Lucien, of someone else + Lucien, because of when it was posted.

As for other comments on retellings Sarah would like to do - it's the same argument as the first one. Sarah said she wants to do a retelling of the firebird and swan like. We all know this. It's not new information. People who are saying Vassa + Lucien won't happen aren't ignorant of this fact. We're well aware, and we're also well aware of every other thing Sarah has said, mentioned, foreshadowed, and we're tying it all together. Focusing solely on stories Sarah has mentioned she'd like to retell - not confirmed she will retell - and ignoring everything else doesn't provide a solid analysis. You have to weave how those stories would fit into the grander scheme, and look at the other surrounding factors as well.

And, again, we need to remember that Sarah can do whatever the hell she wants in terms of the story and how she chooses to retell a fairy tale. I mean, how often is Little Red Riding Hood turned into a werewolf story? And sometimes even Red is the wolf?

Writers use fairy tales as a base, a foundation, but then they make it their own. No writer is going to tell the fairy tale exactly how it first was. They're going to adjust it...a lot...to make it their own story.

I'd also like to point out that both times she mentions Vasilisa, she says "Vasilisa the Beautiful". The first time she also said 'the Brave', but the second, solely 'Beautiful'. Vassa is beautiful, of course, but one of E\ain's defining characteristics is her beauty. Even in ACOSF it was again mentioned, discussed, about how her beauty made others hate her.

Could Vassa be Vasilisa...of course. However, I think people are a bit blinded by the similarities in names. Remember, Vasilisa the Beautiful wasn't the firebird - those are different stories. And, honestly, after doing a bit of research into the tale, I'm starting to get more and more sure of the thought that the character who would portray Vasilisa is E\ain.

I think I'm going to do a post on it...

In the later comment on retellings she'd like to do - which we know came after the first as the first came out in August 2015 and that story she's telling was given after the second set of books was confirmed - I also find it interesting that she said Vasilisa the Beautiful (specifically) and Swan Lake, subbing out the firebird.

Why would she do that? Perhaps because she's already brought in the firebird pieces she planned to bring in. We already know that retelling, and how it's come to play. Vassa is a firebird by the curse.

I'm not saying it couldn't end in a Swan Lake thing, as that is what the curse reminds me of. But, personally, I think the fact that she's saying Swan Lake now is also symbolic of something more, possibly another character getting trapped by Koschei.

As for the other piece you asked about, I don't have much to say about it, because it feels like the closest we'll come to an elucien confirmation.

That was also posted a while ago, back when ACOMAF came out. So, it's not like this is recent information Sarah is providing us. However, we know that Sarah can sometimes end up choosing endgame based on gut and things that just hit her. Cassian and Nesta - literally didn't know about them until she wrote them on the same page and was like "oh shit". So Sarah saying that she and Lucien didn't see E\ain coming...I'm sorry, but that feels almost more telling than even the next part of the sentence - where she says they have growing and healing to do together.

That's so huge. And we haven't seen that yet. We've only really seen the tension.

Sarah said this back when ACOMAF came out. And it was around writing or publishing ACOWAR that she got the okay for the second set of books (I think?). Which means she was likely thinking about the longer-term stories before that. Which would explain why we didn't get that growth and healing in ACOWAR.

Instead, she left them in a spot where it seemed like a possibility, and then for the later books has just added more tension. But that journey is still there. She's had it planned for so long. And yes, maybe she could change her mind, but we only know of two cases where she did just that:

Az and Mor

Nesta and Lucien

For Az and Mor it was because she decided to make Mor bisexual and unable to be in an emotional relationship with a male. This was due to complaints over diversity. It's the closest Sarah's probably come to 'fanservice' - except, admittedly, this is so not fanservice. Fanservice is doing something like, say, having Voldemort and Bellatrix have a secret love child despite the fact that Voldy never once came off as having any form of romantic or sexual feelings for her or anyone, ever. (Seriously, that guy was asexual and that is a hill I'll die on.)

Adjusting a character due to legitimate complaints and concerns on diversity, not just fanservice. It's more a full on social service, really, to try and provide that representation better. Yes, it wasn't done in the best way, but she did make an attempt.

The second one - Nesta and Lucien. That was her general plan, until she put Nesta and Cassian on page together. Then it all went out the window. Just like all of Nesta's thoughts when she saw Cassian. Just like Cassian's entire brain when he saw Nesta. 👀

And we get it, because we see it too.

So, while Sarah could have changed her mind about E\ain and Lucien, the only reasons she'd do that don't yet apply. She's already made a change for the diversity complaints, and I don't see her doing that with these two. As for finding out they actually belong with someone else when she sees them on page - well, that hasn't happened yet. She made the E\ain + Lucien decision after we see E\ain and Azriel interact, so clearly Az is not that for E\ain. And we've seen Lucien and Vassa on page together. There's nothing there except Lucien being pained about her curse - which, yeah, she's his friend. How often is one IC member described as looking pained for another? Or thinks about how much it hurt them to see their friend hurt?

But we know what it looks like when the chemistry is so undeniable it will adjust Sarah's plans. And if you're not sure - go back and read all the Nessian scenes in ACOMAF. And then see the one scene where Lucien and Vassa are on page together - I think you'll find there's another male there that, with Vassa, rings closer to the Nessian home.

There was no on page chemistry between Vassa and Lucien, and certainly not enough to change Sarah's mind. Which would also mean E\ain already wasn't meant for Az, which is likely why no one arguing for Vassa + Lucien seems to care as much about that, because most people who ship them are already dead set on E\ain + Azriel.

So, there you have it, my point of view/rant on those two pieces. But it's always important to look at the context of a post, and especially the "source material" people use to provide proof. It's why I tend to stick to the text where I can, and only use SJM statements that don't have an expiration date to their importance. SJM saying something about how she loves happily ever afters, for example, no expiration date. SJM telling us in 2015 that there is someone special for Lucien down the road - an expiration date after the first sign of a possible love interest for Lucien. Once E\ain was declared to be his mate, that statement became irrelevant, because regardless of whether it will be E\ain or not, you can no longer state that it's clearly hinting at someone else, since E\ain is a love interest for Lucien.

[buriedinbleach]

Hello! ^.^ I absolutely love you bleach posts and your page is my favorite to go to when I want to read everything bleach lmao (I check a couple of times a week to see if you've posted anything new 👀). I hope you and your family are doing well and are keeping safe :/ this virus thing is insane! There's a question I want to ask but it won't fit in here lol so I'll send it separately ^.^

*slams hand in the table* fuck yes, start writing and pass that extra Bleach content my way!

First off, thank you for your preciois comments 😭🥰 That’s so sweet and I feel terrible that I rarely post lately, I’m trying to get back into my writings though, I promise!! If you guys only knew, I’m such a grumpy, sarcastic bitch and y’all never fail to unfreeze me with your messages.

Now, onto the chats...

Honestly, you should write for whatever fandom or content you have the urge to write - “dormant” or not, though I don’t really feel like it is. You should enjoy what you write first and foremost because nothing will slaughter your muse faster than forcing it. (Interestingly, the comic sans font, wee bastard that it is, can be the muses elixir of life. I don’t make the rules.)

Is the internet void bursting at the seams with Bleach content? Well, no, because it’s not being actively produced at the moment like bnha/mha, so judging the two together wouldnt be a little skewed. I would argue (like many others) that the dormancy of the fandom is going to change given the fact that they’re going to animate the final arc.

Blessings. Kubo, I am prepared for you to thoroughly rip out my heart and stomp on it, but I reserve the right to immediately regret my decision and sob in the corner like an infant once you kill or maim everyone I like. Goddammit. This is why we can’t have nice things!

I had (and still have) those same feelings you’re struggling with. I went back and forth with myself wondering about my own abilities to write these characters and places that I enjoyed but definitely wasn’t overly familiar with, or wondering if anyone would even like it. Hell, I was worried someone might send me an ask one day and I’d be like, “fuck me, I’ve got no idea, I’ll surely be outed for the rube I am.” Cause ya know, #anxiety

But! That wasn’t what happened, in my experience. Overall, people just like having more depth to the universe. We all try to do our research, but eventually we just have to make it up and isn’t the Bleach universe all the better for it? Honestly, I’ll take my Ukitake and Starrk alive and bff’s with Shunsui, with a side of Nemu fucking lived and Yachiru is still raising hell. Hold the canon, please.

I started fairly simply by just posting a few of the stories that popped into my brain to get more comfortable and ease into things. The more I wrote, the easier it got and the better I felt. And yes, no matter how much you proof read your material, you’ll find silly mistakes that make you cringe. Adam Driver, I feel you so hard 😏 🤪

If you really wanted to test the waters and get comfy playing with your character knowledge, might I suggest a meme game? You can do it just for yourself or with your friends if they’re in the fandom too, either way. I’ve done two, the letter meme and the emoji meme. Pick a mix of characters you like or a letter or emoji from the game that inspires you and match the two, then go to town. Personally, I feel like I learned the most about writing the characters and the world this way. It’s what helped me, maybe it’ll help someone else out there.

I’ll shut up now, but feel free to dm me 😘 I’ll leave you with this, my immediate reaction when I read your message. Go forth and write to your hearts content... and send me your link so I can fangirl too 🥰

[rogue-barnes-16]

SECRETS (part II/IV)

Summary: Detectives James Barnes and Y/n Y/l/n never really got along, despite being partners for seven months. You could say they hated each other, however, when James' past shows up threatening to break him all over again, the truth about their feelings comes to the surface.

Pairing: cop!Bucky Barnes x cop!Reader

Genre: angsty

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack

Warnings: abusive ex-partner, mentions of toxic relationship, hungover, scars

A/N: I'm back from my brief hiatus(?) yayy! I'm still feeling super insecure about my writing so if you see something I'm doing wrong or something that I should improve, tell me. Tomorrow I'll post the next part of The Protege, but now enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist (you can find part I there)

The moment my eyes fluttered open, my hands gripped the sheets I had gotten tangled with, trying to suppress a loud groan the would have just made my head pound harder.

I stirred and turned my head to the man lying besides me as a proof of the bizarre events that my mind remembered from the night before.

This time I was unable to hold back a now regretful groan, which ended up shaking him awake.

"what the- Fuck" he sat up, pressing the heels of his hands against his shut eyes. "fuck fuck fuck fuck"

I shifted my position in a way that I had a perfect view of his bare back.

And that view made my heart clench, because it made me remember what I wanted to talk about without him in first place.

It also proved me that, sadly, there was no way in hell that I was wrong. The patterns of the scars were signs of domestic violence without a doubt.

"Barnes" I called him, not daring to move. "we still have to talk." my voice sounded demanding, but still tender and quiet.

"what 'bout?" his eased voice almost made me doubt my gut feeling, because after all, those scars could be something else.

But then he put his shirt faster than normal, and before even putting on his underwear.

"Dot." his shoulders tensed for a moment, but he did his best to hide it from me. "what happened between the two of you?" I didn't want to ask it directly, so I decided to take the long way.

"c'mon Y/l/n" he let out a humorless laugh, getting up to put on his underwear and pants. "You're the smartest detective I've ever worked with" I managed to hide my surprise at the compliment and I sat up on the bed. "do you really need to fuckin' ask?"

"yeah" he glared at me, leaning over the bed to grab his jacket. "Barnes for fucks sake" I let out a groan, falling back on the bed after I had seen him get out of my apartment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I got in the precinct an hour or so before my shift actually started, but, honestly, I couldn't care less.

I made a bee line to my desk, not bothering on greeting my colleagues "Hey man, are you okay?" Wilson asked, probably noticing how bad I looked like due to the hungover.

"always" I curtly replied, grabbing the manila folders Y/n had been working on, and displaying it in front of me.

"Bucky?" I didn't even need to spare a glance at Steve to see his worried gaze. "what are you doing here? You don't-"

"got a problem" I muttered low enough for only us to hear it. "I- Y/n and I-"

"Please don't tell me that-"

"yeah" I replied before he finished his question. "we were drunk and-"

"Oh c'mon man" Steve sighed and I let myself fall on the chair while he kept pacing besides me. "with her out of everyone? You had to fuck your co-worker, who you've been pinning over for the last four months?"

"Listen, jerk that's not the important thing right here" I hissed, leaning over the desk to be closer to him. "she knows."

"she knew the moment that Dot showed up" he replied, sitting over my desk. "why does it matter anymore though? The trials start in a week."

"I didn't want her to know" I confessed, running my hands over my short hair. "not now, not like this."

"well there's no going back, pal" Steve said with a sad note on his voice. "you gotta- oh, there she goes" squeezing my shoulder, he got up and walked to his own desk. "Mornin' Y/l/n. Isn't it a bit early?"

"I have work to do" she replied emotionless, looking for the folders on her desk. When she didn't find them, she silently walked to stand besides me and, leaning over my desk, she started to grab the folders.

"I won't tell anyone" she whispered in a tone much softer than I expected. "it's your place to do it so don't worry" with that, she came back to her desk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was midnight and Y/n and I hadn't spoken since our brief exchange of words in the morning. Now that we were the last ones left in the department, it was impossible for us not to chat with the other.

It was Y/n who started the conversation.

"Hey listen" she called in low voice, walking to my desk to sit besides me. "I'm sorry for pushing you. I just-" she sighed, scratching her arm distractedly. "I-I just wanted to be wrong, and then" pursing her lips, she spared me a nervous look. "I don't know"

I glanced at her for a moment and, after taking a deep breath, I spoke. "I fell for her when I was really young" I stated. "Hell, I fell hard" she peaked at me, leaving the pencil she was using over the papers. "she was so charming. We got married when I was twenty-six"

"That's..." she looked at me with a puzzled expression on her face. "that's nine years"

"not really" I scratched my neck, feeling Y/n's eyes on me. "we took lots of breaks" I tried focusing on the reports in front of me. "things went south during the last three years, though. We fought. A lot." I scoffed "I loved her so I always blamed myself-"

"Bucky" she cut me off in the most tender way possible. "we- you don't- we don't have to talk about it." before I could tell her that I wanted- no, that I needed to, she spoke again. "unless you want to."

I nodded. "one day I came home late. We argued and she... Uh... Slapped me." I shrugged, not daring to look at Y/n. "and I thought, she's worried, don't mind it." Y/n stayed quiet for me to tell her the rest of the story. "slaps turned into things being thrown at me, and then... Well, you already saw it."

"Your back." I nodded at her guess. "Bucky, those are some serious scars." I just shrugged, not knowing what to answer. "what the hell did she use?"

"what does it look like?"

"I didn't look at them enough to-" I started to unbutton my shirt to take it off. "you sure of what you're doing?" I nodded, leaving the shirt aside. "Okay uh" she stood up and hesitantly traced the scars with her fingers "those three ones gotta be from a belt."

"they are"

"well then she's strong as fuck" I let out a nervous chuckle while she inspected the rest of the scars. "this one... Did she stab you"

My nod was almost unnoticeable "That's the last one"

"I wanna believe that this burn here" her fingers ghosted over it. "isn't one of them." she sighed, grabbing my shirt and handing it to me.

I realized too late my hands were shaking too much for me to be able to button up my shirt. When she noticed this, she kneeled in front of me and did it for me.

"the last time we were together, she ended up stabbing me" her jaw clenched.

"I'm guessing she came here" she got up and came back to her chair. "because you brought a lawsuit against her?"

I nodded, clenching my fists a few times in an attempt to calm my nerves. "she showed up in my house yesterday. That's why I was in the bar."

READER'S P. O. V.

"what are you gonna do tonight?" That question didn't really need to be asked, but still, I did.

"I'll stay in the break room" he replied distracted. "tomorrow I'll figure something"

Without thinking twice, I casually suggested "come to my place"

He shot me a perplexed glance "and then what?" before I could even think about replying, he spoke again. "we fuck again?"

I couldn't help but snort with a note of bitterness in my laugh. "I'm trying to be nice, what the fuck was that?"

"not sure" he muttered absently, a frown forming between his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, I think I'm too tired"

I sighed "yeah, me too" I looked up at the clock and, taking a deep breath, I spoke again "we should go home"

"we?"

"yeah" I got up, not wanting to face him for some reason I could not pinpoint. "You're staying at my place remember?"

"Y/n" he called me "there's still a week left for the trials"

"I think" I grabbed my things and put on my jacket "that we're more than capable of standing each other for a week"

I heard him standing up and I finally turned around to face him again. "Y/n, you don't have to-"

"Oh shut up" I said cut him off, throwing him his jacket. "I bet if it was Steve, you wouldn't be so hesitant"

"of course I wouldn't" he admitted, letting out a chuckle. "he's my bestfriend"

"then- I dunno" I shrugged with a grin on my face while we made our way out. "pretend I'm Steve, but stop complaining"

"That's-" he snorted falling into step with me. "that's so fucking weird"

"why? 'cause we fucked?" there was a beat of silence, but when I looked at him, we both burst into fit laughs.

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

"yeah, because we fucked" I confirmed, looking ahead of us with a smile dancing on my lips. "Where's your place, by the way?"

"what the hell? you were there last night." she shook her head a couple of times with a grin pulling the corners of her mouth. "I guess you were too drunk."

"so were you"

"yeah, but I still know where's my place" she stated proudly.

"what the f- Y/n, that's because it's your place." a snort escaped her lips. "which way, genius?"

"This way, jerk" she placed a hand on my back to guide me and, despite the thick jacket, I could still feel it's warm.

It was in that moment that I realized her touch somehow soothed me, and I found myself wishing she didn't let go of me.

[ma-gic-gay]

A few hours (and ice cream cones) later, Donna leaves to go to the Q's to play with Wiley and Ophelia. "I finally found a dress. It took three stores and way too many dresses that fit like crap but I've found one and I'm ready for the Ball tomorrow," Carly says excitedly when she finds him in the park. "I ditched the guards hours ago."

Of course she did. He rolls his eyes. She's going to get kidnapped again or something as a part of some new competitors revenge on him and she ditches guards. The mob is not a friendly business but leave it to her to forget that, less than six months after her kidnapping and rape. Only Carly. "Stop ditching guards."

"Well I've got you to protect me," she argues, smiling. When his expression doesn't change, she relents, "Fine. I'll take the guards when I'm not with you."

"Thank you," he says. "Donna's with Wiley and Ophelia at the mansion."

"So long as Nina's not there, I'm fine with it." Not this again. "Don't roll your eyes or tell me to play nice, Jason! She wants me arrested and she's acting like Nelle wasn't a terrible person! I don't care if she's Wiley's other grandmother."

Sometimes, Carly's exhausting to deal with.

He rolls his eyes again as she rests her head on his shoulder. "You know, Joss has been complaining lately she's feeling stuck in Port Charles. Which is stupid but it reminded me that I've never taken her to Florida, or any of the kids besides Michael and now I want to. So you coming with me or am I bringing guards?"

The last time they went to Florida, Michael was barely one. It was to officially bury Virginia and it was a very bittersweet experience to see Florida for the first time and also be packing up the house of a dead woman.

"Who exactly are you bringing?" Carly cheers when he agrees to go without agreeing fully.

"Donna, clearly. And I'll bring Joss and, do you think that Ava will let me bring Avery? Michael should go too, he spends way too much time cooped up in that house or at Aurora, so him, Willow, Wiley and Ophelia. Ooh, you should bring your kids! Scout and Danny will have fun in Florida and I'm sure Jake would love it. Well, of course, that involves Elizabeth letting you take him. Maybe if we bring Cameron too- well actually, no, that won't work because him and Joss broke up a few weeks ago and it's still way too raw for her. I'd suggest we bring Dante but he broke Lulu's heart so that's a big no, I don't care if he's my children's brother. Should we bring Brando and Sasha?"

She's rambling excitedly about this trip that seems to double in size each minute and he chuckles to himself at the absurdity of it. Somehow, within five minutes, Carly's built herself an entire vacation to Florida. Complete with exactly when they should go ("The third week in June! It shouldn't be too rainy or humid yet,") and how long they should stay (a week, she's decided). This woman owns an island and insists on going to Florida for a week so her kids can see her old home.

Before he can figure out what's happening, someone has taken him hostage, his hands inexplicably behind his back and he notices that another one of the surprise humans has taken Carly hostage. Fuck. No. He can't fight this guy, somehow he's too strong. And he can't reach for his gun because he's got his hands tied behind his back! Which means she's getting kidnapped and so is he.

Of course, the same thing is happening to Carly, but the dude who grabbed her is underestimating her gravely. She's got enough sense to try and kick him in the balls (so that's why she always wears heels) before settling for a good slap or two to wherever she can reach moments before her hands are tied as well.

He's basically fucked. And so is she.

"Let me go or so help me god-" Carly threatens before they put a gag in her mouth which she does her best to spit out. Fucking hell, these people are terrible.

"Let her go," he demands, feet unrooting themselves from the ground as he desperately tries to break out of this hold.

"How sweet, he's willing to sacrifice himself for his girlfriend. Touching, truly. Not going to work, however, Morgan. Enough of the touching goodbye, you better stop fighting if you want to see her alive again," his goon threatens. This guy sounds like one of Cyrus's old guys. Cyrus is behind this. Which means-

Carly comes to the conclusion at the same time he does and spits out her gag (impressive). "You better have a damn good excuse for this."

The goons don't even bother threatening them, they just drag them apart and Jason gets dropped in the back of some truck before he gets knocked out. His last conscious thought is where the hell Carly is and where he's going.

A few hours later, he wakes up, disgusted by the surroundings he's found himself in. He's handcuffed to a chair with his legs and his hands. And there's no blonde in here with him, he realizes. At the very least, he senses that they haven't took his jacket off or phone or gun from him. "Good, you're awake." Who's voice is that? He recognizes it from somewhere.

"Where is she?" He asks instead of worrying about his own surroundings.

"Your concern for her is really quite touching, but your girlfriend is fine," the dude says again, yet another voice he remembers but can't trace.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Sure, you just sleep together, live together and act like a married couple. Oh, wait, is she your wife? That would make more sense," the voice says. Who's voice is that? It's on the tip of his mind but he can't remember.

"Very funny. We're not married. Now, tell me, where the hell is Carly?"

"Calm your tits," that's a stupid expression, "she's being well taken care of. Let yourself worry about you for a minute, please. Your relationship with her is..."

"None of your business. I need proof she's okay." Why the hell aren't his demands being met? Who is this?

"Protective, how sweet. Answer the question."

"She's my best friend," he answers calmly. "Got any more questions or do I get proof she's okay and alive?"

"You don't sleep with a best friend, Jason." Shut up, they're not labelling things and this has nothing to do with the damn kidnapping!

"And who are you to judge us?" Mouthing off to a kidnapper, great idea.

"Me? I'm just the messenger. Don't shoot the messenger."

What the fuck is this dude getting at? He's speaking in goddamn riddles of sarcasm. "Where is Carly?"

"Well, that's none of your business." This man is absolutely infuriating. He's a douche and dead the second he gets to his gun. Or, really, anything that can be used as a weapon. Maybe even a pair of handcuffs. Kill him with handcuffs, yeah, that'll work after he finds Carly's location out.

"If so much as a hair on her head is harmed-"

"Your threats are in vain, though your concern for her is adorable. Tell me, do you expect you're calling the shots here? You're not, dumbass. I am. Well, technically my boss, but you know what I mean." Infuriating.

"You lay a hand on her and-"

"Are you going to keep threatening me? You're the one tied up to a chair, not me. I can move whenever I want to, you cannot." Bile pools in his stomach at the thought of someone's hands on her, hurting her. Causing her pain. Doing what Cyrus did to her again, as often as they please because he can't save her. "But, for your information, no one's gotten handsy with her yet."

How relieving. "Keep it that way."

"You know, she keeps talking about you like you're some damn superhero. To be honest, I don't see it. You're so in sync though, she's worried one of us are going to hurt your pretty boy face."

"Careful, you don't want to show all of your cards at once," Jason teases. It's probably a bad idea but Carly's kidnapped too and he can't get out on his own dammit.

"Keep mouthing off and I'll make sure she's beaten up good. Bruised so bad it won't go away for months."

That's a damn good threat, he's got to admit.

Clearly enjoying his silence, this dude continues, "Your only chance of getting to her is playing by my rules. Then again, she's been mouthing off to us the whole time we've had her. Stubborn brat, that one is. She won't let anyone even give her food, she's just been saying that you'll save her because it's how you two work." That's his girl. He can't help but smile at the thought of her talking the ears off of a kidnapper. He might talk the dude into letting her go. "You two are adorably in sync, her fighting us using your name as though you're a hero. Tell me, what did you ever do that made her think of you as her hero?"

"I guess I've just always been there to save her," he answers. Looking the kidnapper in the eyes, he continues, "and I always will, no matter the consequences."

"Cute. Your whole hero thing is cute and I think it's adorable that you both love each other so much. She's already about to kill us if it means she'll get a single piece of information on her big hero who always saves her."

Sounds like Carly. "If that's supposed to surprise me, it doesn't. I've known her so long nothing she can do surprises me."

"And you love her enough you'll do anything for her. Touching, really. Never have I ever had the pleasure of having two hostages who are so helplessly in love with each other like you two are, yet they're apparently only friends. Tell me, is there anything you wouldn't be willing to do for her, if it meant she'd be freed?"

"No."

"Good, good to know. I think we're ready to discuss the terms of your mutual release, because she's pissing my guy off so much he's had to get a little handsy." Name, address, the whole nine yards. The second he gets them, that dude dies. "Calm down, it was only once. She won't even scar."

"The terms," he spits out in an attempt to control his anger. This is infuriating.

"In exchange for your mutual release, you will give approximately fifteen million dollars to my boss." Who the hell needs that much money? Whatever. If she's free, he'll do near anything.

"I don't have my checkbook on me right now, but I can make that deal." Donna. How is she dealing with this? He suspects he's been gone long enough now that she's been able to understand what's going on.

"Good. You will make a check for fifteen million dollars to Miss Fiona Svlankovich," the hostage holder says, handing his checkbook to him.

"Wait. This seems too easy."

"It's not, I assure you. Fiona's a bit of an evil lady, but when she says she'll set you free after you do something, you and your “best friend” will be released," he informs him. A bit of an evil lady? She's a lot more than a bit evil.

"I can't exactly sign this with my hands tied behind my back," he says calmly.

"Shit," the hostage holder mutters. "I'll uncuff one of your arms, but only because you don't have any weapons on you." Idiot. He can feel his gun in his pocket as he gets uncuffed and signs the check.

Before he can be recuffed, he pulls out his gun and fires a single bullet into the dude's leg. "Tell me where Carly is or I'll take you out right now."

"On a date or in a murderous way?"

What type of fucking question is that? "Murder. So, her location."

"Someone's horny," kidnapping dude chuckles before he gets punched. "Fine, fine. She's somewhere in this house. You figure out where, that's up to you. So, you gonna kill me now?"

"Thinking about it. You take me to exactly where she is, right now," Jason answers, gun trained at this hostage dude.

Without a witty remark, he gets led the way to Carly. Conveniently, she's screaming at that exact moment, "He will find me and you will die. I hope you look forward to death because he's been getting me out of messes for longer than you've been alive."

She's tied up in a pantry, he notes before kicking the door open. "I swear to fucking god-" she starts before noticing he's there and tearing up. "Oh thank god you're here."

Unceremoniously, her guards pull out their guns and he shoots them both before shooting his own guard, Carly yelping each time. She's not a fan of the sound of a gun going off, nor kidnapping, so he doubts this is fun for her.

He makes quick work of getting her uncuffed and she falls into him, embracing him in a tight hug and burying her face in his neck as he does the same. "I knew you'd save me," she says and he can feel her tears soaking his shirt, but it's okay. He's got extras at home (and, of course, the clothes she bought a few months ago).

"We've got to get out of here," he mutters and she pulls away, tears of joy and relief still flowing down her face.

A few minutes (and dead bodies) later, they make it out of the weird ass mansion they're stuck in. Now, of course, the big issue is how the fuck they get out of here. There's no cars he can see.

"I don't want to walk but I will," Carly says, frowning as she looks at her disgusting outfit. "I liked this outfit too."

To be continued hopefully after this headache clears up

@ryleighjosephine

[rhysintherain]

Episode 8: what the heck are we getting at here?

Let me start by saying: the younger dryas was not caused by a comet. It's a thing that happens naturally during warming periods after an ice age. It has to do with the way rapid glacial melt effects ocean currents and global temperatures. It's not apocalyptic, and it's not the astroid that wiped out the fucking dinosaurs: human edition. There's no fact to any of this.

Channelled scablands

Pretty sure that's a punk band? No we're in Washington, make it grunge.

Glacial erosion. It's glacial erosion, not meteors.

I know where you're going, but this was under KILOMETERS of ice when your fictional comet hit. Do not.

Also I know the name Grand Coulee. I know it because the whole area is dammed out of existence. What we're looking at here is an area where the water tables are greatly disturbed, so you can't trust that all of what you see isn't recent and human made.

Are you kidding me arguing that uniformitarianism rules modern science? What century are you arguing from?

Humans LOVE catastrophe. We talk almost exclusively about the things that went wrong in the past. Slow change is no fun, we want great, terrible change to explain everything we change about ourselves.

Wind can shape land the same way as water sometimes. How can you say this was one and not the other?

Of course, the Sumerian flood story was talking about interior Washington. Graham, you're a genius.

Murray Springs

His "researcher" friend is full of shit, I've NEVER heard of a 50-60% human extinction in the whole northern hemisphere. It's not a thing.

Neither is a mass extinction wiping out megafauna. It just didn't happen. (We don't know why that happened yet. But we also probably didn't eat all the mammoths)

The black layer he's talking about could be a smallish meteor impact, or a volcanic eruption (we had lots of those in the PNW over the Millenia). It didn't cause any extinctions though, and it's not anywhere near the size of the Cretaceous asteroid strike.

There's also no proof that the ash layer in Europe was caused by the same event as the one in America. It could be perfectly normal volcanic activity.

Make up your mind Graham, was it comets or meteors?

(spoiler alert it was neither. This is crap)

You haven't connected shit, Graham. Those weren't dots, those were low effort pareidolia.

Well, he just made the mistake all the dumbest cult leaders do and put a time frame on the end of the world. He and his bullshit now have an expiry date.

"they set their beliefs a long time ago and won't let them be changed by anyone, no matter what evidence!" No, we will. We do. We've changed it several dozen times in the last few decades. It's just you're a clown who can't form a coherent argument, so we treat you accordingly.

Final thoughts:

Once again: we KNOW why the younger dryas happened. There isn't a mystery to solve here. What in the hell are you trying to solve?

Literally none of the things he's saying happened happened. He repeatedly demonstrates that he doesn't even understand what the younger dryas was, but he needs it to be violent and scary to fit his narrative.

Who are your mysterious ancients? Why were they so great? How did they have a global civilisation without advanced technology? Where did they live? They didn't, they're an empty space in the shape of all our daydreams about being more than we are.

We get it, you're still mad your dad sent you to journalism school instead of letting you be an archaeologist. And you're still mad that the archaeologists wouldn't let you play with them even though you wanted to be one. That still doesn't mean we're wrong and you know Extra Special Archaeology Secrets.

The most important bit in the whole thing was in the first 5 minutes when he said he isn't an archaeologist or a scientist. Listen to that bit.

He's really quite bad at this. He doesn't understand basic concepts and doesn't care what he gets wrong. He doesn't care what the facts are. He doesn't know what good science looks like or why we need it.

In a nutshell, he's what I'm starting to think of as 'orphaned intelligence'. It doesn't matter how smart you are, if you don't learn to think critically you'll come to bad conclusions. You need at least some background education, some foundation in fact, or all sorts of quackery will make sense to you (if this isn't an argument for better funding for postsecondary education I don't know what is).

We might still push back the earliest dates for all sorts of things in archaeology. And the record will change, just like it always does (the incomplete record that came before isn't "wrong", as Graham is so fond of saying, just the best we could do with the evidence we had).

It's not going to change for Graham though, because he isn't contributing evidence, he's yelling angrily into a camera, hoping to persuade people who don't know better to get behind his grand narrative.

But it's just a story, and a pretty lazy one at that. It's the story of how we weren't good enough, how we needed a divine being to reach down and lift us up to where we are now.

Haven't we, as a species, heard enough of that kind of story?

Okay, y'all know I can't resist a hack having a go at archaeology.

So I'm gonna watch Ancient Apocalypse so I'm prepared to rant about everything that's wrong with it when somebody inevitably tries to talk to me about it.

So here we go.

What's wrong with Ancient Apocalypse, episode by episode:

Episode 1

Gunung Padang

7200 year-old cultural layer is 4 meters doen, but the basalt column architecture is on the surface.

These are not the same culture! The more recent (2300 ish BP) culture built the basalt structures on top of the older settlement.

This guy is intentionally misrepresenting the nature of the site and ignoring the first rule of archaeology.

At the lowest levels they tested they're not even proving people lived there, just that they could carbon date a hill.

Chances are, this was a hill, people lived on it for several thousand years, and in the last 2-3 thousand they built it up into the structure we can now see the ruins of.

It's a cool site, but not disproving the archaeological record. If people 7200+ years ago built the structures, why are they on the surface while the cultural layer for these people is 4 meters down? That's not how stratigraphy works.

Nan Madol

Very different architecture than Gunung Padang. They stacked basalt columns like Lincoln logs while Gunung Padang stacked them all in the same direction.

The underwater footage here is laughably bad. Are those even structures? They're much narrower than the ones on land.

Those pillars could be natural, there's no way to tell without scraping some of the muck off and taking a closer look.

Even if they are constructed, they could have been used for breakwaters or piers. There's no proof whatsoever that these were built on land and then submerged.

Nobody is claiming that flood myths can't be remembered stories from the ice age. That isn't something archaeologists reject.

The real question is why he thinks they needed to have a vast, advanced civilisation to remember stories, when we've demonstrated again and again that stories hold a huge amount of cultural and historical memory.

And some final thoughts:

He doesn't seem to think humans are capable of very much? Why is "advanced civilisation" required for humans to have constructed megalithic sites or tell stories?

The research at Gunung Padang is extremely controversial. In a quick google I found a bunch of stuff about how the president at the time was throwing them a lot of funding to "prove" that it was the oldest pyramid in the world and put Java on the map. The dude who did the coring work seems to be pretty unpopular with reputable archaeologists.

Love the way the host goes "archaeologists don't seem to like me!?!" While also yelling "I can't believe you people are so dumb! You never even looked here!" About fairly well-studied archaeological sites.

He doesn't understand the most basic principles of archaeology. For instance, stratigraphy.

"archaeologists won't talk about flood mythologies!" That's right I noticed that in the ENTIRE CLASS we spent talking about flood mythologies in our northwest archaeology course. Spot on.

[an-idiot-but-a-bit-more-refined]

I was laying in bed thinking of something and this made me laugh  for like a split second, then I got mad and then I started crying a little because, I imagined that I was a lecturer and I had to teach a group of Baby Swen about why their new fandom home was the way it was.

Me: Hello Babies, Mommy's back!

Student in the back: Sweet! Evil Queen references.. Umm, professor, I have a question.

Me: Yes?

Student: Why are our fandom grandmothers, mothers and aunts against Eddie and Adam writing Swan Queen?

Me, sighing gently: Darling, we're not against them writing it, but we have our reservations on the way they ARE writing it and most likely would attempt to write it.

Student in the back seems confused. Pauses slightly before nodding. I write down a topic that blankets the class discussion. "Swan Queen". BABY SWENS WHISPER AND SNICKER WITH EXCITEMENT, but I sigh once again. Someone notices

Student: Professor?

Me: Yes?

Student: What's the matter?

Me, slightly conflicted to do said discussion, but I feel it is needed.

Me: The issue the fandom is facing my dear younglings has to do with an ever running war on Tropes, Tokenism, Sexism and just all around 'fandom fuckery' as we've coined it. Some of you- rather, most of you may be familiar with how savagely Swen are dogged for wanting something that represents this current day and age. Be it a fairy tale that's never been told, or simple recognition in a way that does not make us feel as though we've been given a half-assed story that's tossed after it's done what writers and show runners believe it's supposed to...no-no, Your home- THIS home is a home that has to fight for the equality so that the younger generation may reap the benefits of the fight. Now, this may sound tragic- or seem catty, but I assure you, Swen are not known to be such. We like to leave that to...what was that other group's name, again?

Student with all the smart ass comments whom I adore: Crap tainted Swan!

Me: Yes, them.

I begin to write down a few categories and immediately hands go up.

Student: Professor, what exactly do you mean when you say- they will fuck it up?

Me: Precisely what I wrote. The Swan Queen fandom is not fond of being lied to, deceived or played for fools my young one. We know as well as anyone that 'pushing' is a thing for two overly hetero-normative men who run to Captain Swan with open arms and away from Swan Queen with eyes shut and ears deafened, will somehow manage to mess up a perfectly good story to tell.

Student somewhere in the corner: And when you say they'll make it more difficult- what does that mean?

Me: It means that Our ladies are difficult apart- NOT together and yet the writers seem to bring that as some valid way to deter the pairing. They believe by forcing these characters to appear as though they'd be difficult together would make it hard for them to have a lasting relationship. Trying to deter someone by creating this aura that they simply can't be around one another long enough before they become snarky and catty for all the wrong reasons is absolute bull. If anything- we have proof of countless times they have preferred to be with one another simply because it was obvious of the safety they felt. The care and concern they felt.

Student: Oh, so you mean like- Regina's stubborn and sassy and sarcastic when she and Emma are apart and when they work together, she's still sassy and sarcastic it's just in reference to everyone else and not Emma... it's like they're trying to make you think that Regina can't stand being around Emma when the only time we see the real Regina is when she's with Emma-or Henry-

Me, highly impressed: -exactly!

Another student in the front raises their hand: So, that ties into your next point of it being predictable doesn't it?

Me: It does. Have you all seen the consistent template that's written for a queer character?

They all nod and someone with a good bit of brains stands up to go on a miniature rant.

Student: Yeah, I have and it sucks. There's always the one gay character- (he manages to say with an eye roll.) But then there's all these other 'templates' that are stereotypical. Like if they do marry Emma off to Hook and she magically realizes she doesn't love him or that she's gay, they use Regina and it becomes that thing where the lesbian or in Regina's case- the bisexual, quote on quote 'turns' the straight housewife and she realizes she never needed a man; just some good love.. Or one of them dies- or in their case, both of them apparently.. isn't that what was happening in season six?

Someone whispers, Lexa deserved better and puts up a fist. Other students nod at the other baby Swen and agree.

Student who laughs sarcastically all the time: Or how about this one, She realizes she's not gay either after a bunch of passionate nights with Regina and then she goes back to.. the one handed wonder.. God, don't let her get pregnant-

Other Student yells in pain: -DEAR GOD, PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME IMAGES OF ANOTHER WHINY VERSION OF HOOK! But let's not forget the ones who argue all the time and can't keep a stable relationship and are secretive and all that other junk the L Word made beyond obvious.And if that's not bad enough, they both get beards and are tortured for seasons with men they have no chemistry with and these are women who have chemistry with brick walls and can't even make that shit work-

Me: -Alright.. alright, focus. Yes, these are the templates I'm referring to. But let us not forget the ones that gay male characters also go through.

Someone snorts because they only have one template for gay males.

Student: You mean they're difficult and mysterious and cute little twinks who get thrown with other cute twinks or big buff guys with daddy issues and bam- magical ending?

Me: Correct..moving on.. The third points says-

I'm interrupted as they all say it together

Students: Tokenism!

Me: This is just the TV way of saying affirmative action.. Fanciful in meaning isn't it?

Student: It's trash!

Me: Yes, I do suppose it is... however, would someone like to express why the word tokenism still would apply to Swan Queen?

Hands immediately go up.

Student: Well, if we're being honest here, We already got it once before and we don't even know what the deal is with that story anymore...Swen fears that tokenism can still be a thing for Swan Queen because Eddie and Adam only attempt Swan Mills episodes when their ratings drop and as that becomes a case, so does the question of will they just do Swan Queen to stay on the air and never explore it the way they should... We've been hearing of season seven being the final season and our worry is no longer that they will fuck it up. Quite frankly we don't even want them to write it anymore, we'll take it off their hands and make our own show out of it. The problem arises when they create the asinine plan to use it as a last minute crutch to 'go out with a bang' or something. Like, What if this season completely tanks it and season seven is in fact the last season,right? They get the plan, Hmm maybe we should do Swan Queen in the last episode and that'll justify all of the crap we've put these people through, just to say they did something some grande and amazing thing for us, when in reality, they were trying to save their shitty revenue.

Student directly adjacent: Can I add on to that?

Other student nods.

Student: It really is sad though when we were willing to settle for anything- any sort of thing, just to know we were being heard no matter how much we fought- no matter how much our fandom grandmothers have fought. I think deep down, a lot of us know they just won't do it, like they really won't and even if they do, the luxury of it has just faded. The luxury of it would have faded and they'll try to force it to be overly gooey and 'loving' or cutesy when that's not what we asked for. We asked for a story that was true to life and very much so a proper representation for us all. We asked for a story that proved that strong women can work together and fall in love with one another. That they go through ups and downs and doubts and sticking things out and believing in one another and all of the other good things we've seen.... If we get it, if we are blessed enough to have Swan Queen- We'll be happy, but we'll be tired. We'll be exhausted and still disappointed that it had to come to this for us to be heard... I don't think we'll ever be as happy as we were the first day in season one when they met, if only because of the pain and heartbreak and the amount of horrible things that have been said to us just seems to, hit too many nails in our coffins. The fight will never be over, and we have accepted that, but I think everyone's getting tired of having to fight for something that shouldn't even be in question... and it's not to say we've lost our drive or we're losing hope. We're just done with trying to tell men who clearly don't understand that this is a revolution that needs to happen. This is a change that needs to be seen.. we're done trying to prove something we have too much evidence for to still be called delusional and reaching and all those other things. Everyone's tired of watching some forced 'chemistry' dictate how women should be treated and seen in this world. We're tired of seeing people be criminalized and denied a second chance at a love that won't leave or die on them i.e Regina.. We're done and we are tired of feeling like what we watch is what it will always be- nothing but a dream, an illusion... A fucking fairytale.

Silence encompasses the room and everyone thinks on it. (I legit cried when I thought about this part, so I'm sorry)

Me: We are tired, young ones.. we are, but we fight for us and we fight for you until it's over. We march for us and we march for you until we die and you are right, we have not lost hope.. we've just lost that many damns to give on speaking to a group of people who choose not to understand.... And maybe it is true, maybe we truly won't be fulfilled even if they do give us what we asked for.. what we've pleaded for.. and maybe it will make it all seem like it was in vain and maybe we will feel like we've accomplished nothing because we had to force hand for them to cave or pressure them... your grandmothers, mothers and aunts for this fandom realized many things.. we will not force anyone to give us anything. We will peacefully protest the injustice, but if we are not given what we rightly deserve.... we move on from trying with them and you know what we do? We make a world of our own. Eddie and Adam didn't give Swan Queen life... we did, and you did. They didn't see what we saw. They didn't understand it and they clearly didn't want any part of it, but the dream lives on. The reality lives on- the world keep spinning and life goes on and guess what, so will the memory of Swan Queen....Now I need you all to say this last point with me..together we will do this..

Even if nothing happens. Even if your words fall on deaf ears to some, remember the many that you have made hear you. Remember the many who sat with you and held your hands and kept you together...when things fall away and the glamour goes goodbye, remember your reality, your worth and yourself in all of this- Remember YOUR fight.. Through all things, every hard moment and every distressing situation.. for every negative message- comes ten thousand positive soldiers. Fight on and keep hope..

When you open your mouth and words come out and you say "May I have your attention please?" Remember that those who listen are those who wish to hear.... Remember that your fight is a plea to be heard and someone will listen.. remember that actions and words are one and you fuel them. Remember that when the world around you dies- you are to flourish and bring light back to it... remember that you fight for you just as you fight for me and I do the same... remember from now until the end of time that you've done your part in this world and if it never happens... still, keep hope, because maybe, just maybe...one day it will

With Love, Megan