#and i know itll probably just make me look like an asshole but at this point theyll probably think that regardless

[spacebugarts]

I'm just... so tired of needing to filter my words 500 times in my head before actually saying them in order to avoid giving off the wrong impression with my tone/wording, and then failing anyways. Even over text I need to rewrite things multiple rimes and use multiple different tonal indicators and it still comes out wrong!!! And then neurotypical people are just out there saying whatever and people understand what they mean every time! Its so exhausting just let me say things the way I mean them pls

[be-good-to-bugs]

why havent i been talking to the much much cooler and better older sister who is a furry and super nice and fun to talk to and cares about my opinions and feelings instead of the one who cant respect boundaries and makes me feel like a mistake and doesnt care abt how i feel

[honeycloudz]

Perfect Storm | Chapter Three: Trapped with Truth and Dare

Content Warnings: MDNI, Mentions of blood on Sanzu (not his), Mentions of a gun, Sanzu teasing but hes also an ass, being stuck in an elevator, Smidge of angst if you squint, Sanzu is a menace while playing truth or dare, Ran teases too, Emotionally Constipated Jealous Sanzu, Fem!Reader has very brief wet dream (I promise Ill do actual smut soon), Mating press

Back to- Perfect Storm Chapters Next- Chapter Four: WIP

Today had been an unusually boring day without the normal banter of your coworkers as well as the strange quietness of not having Sanzu around. The Haitani’s and him had gone on a mission with Takeomi, leaving you with the usually quiet Mikey who shooed you away to your office to get paperwork done, just as Mochi and Kokonoi were doing in their own respective spaces. Bored, you sigh, walking to your office ready but dejected for the long day of paperwork ahead of you.  You stare at the clock ticking hung above your door, counting down the seconds before you can go home after long exhausting hours of signing documents and crime. Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the clock strikes midnight as you let out a silent cheer and pack your belongings into your purse to then make your way to the rickety old elevator. You press the button that lights up beneath your finger and hum contently, excited for your plan to sit back on your comfortable couch and catch up on your favorite show. When the elevator opens, you step into it, continuously pressing the button to the first floor (as if it were to make the doors close faster) and just as they were about to shut- a hand suddenly makes its way between them- startling you. Your hands quickly make their way to your purse, where your gun is resting, on instinct. 

You curse under your breath in anger when Sanzu steps foot in the elevator, dress shirt covered in blood which you knew wasn't his own. Noticing your shift in attitude, he smiles smugly, and to your dismay speaks. “What? Didn’t miss me today princess?” he voices sarcastically. He watches you closely, trying to get a rise out of you. “Yeah, of course, just as much as my gun misses your big ass forehead. All that room up there and still not enough to make one coherent, well adjusted thought.”, you hissed back just as sarcastically, ready for the interaction to end as the elevator slowly descended. “My forehead isn't big” he grunted, turning away from you, picking and choosing what hears as per usual. “Is too” you spat back at him. As he was about to retort back, the elevator shook aggressively and grinded to a halt. “W-what is happening” you questioned out loud in fear to no one in particular. When suddenly the red emergency lights glowed and the audio system boomed with Rindou’s voice, answering you. “Hey uh, i know we would all love to end this night peacefully but unfortunately for you both, you'll be stuck in here for the next hour”- panic set in as you realized you'd be stuck with Sanzu alone - “please don't kill each other in there, we are all working to fix it (you hear slight snickering in the background, probably Ran laughing at your current predicament) dont worry itll be okay in no time”. Rindou finishes, sounding uncertain, not helping your current crisis. “Fuck” you curse out loud, hope dimming quickly. He turns to you, annoyance on his face. “Really?”. He exhales out of frustration, “Well, we are here together whether you like it or not, what do you wanna do to pass the time while they work to free me from hell?” You look at him, anger and shock written all over your face, “Free you from hell!? Go fuck yourself, and go to that corner, dont even breath near me asshole.” You reply and take a seat in the corner, opposite to his. He (surprisingly) listens and takes a seat away from you, “Pff, whatever, take that stick out your ass, I'd like to make it known I don't wanna be here either.” he huffs out. Choosing to ignore his comment, only a few minutes pass in silence, and to your dismay he starts repeatedly tapping the wall with his fingers in a rhythm, the sound getting on your already worked up nerves. “Oh my gosh, ok we’ll pass the time with whatever but you have to stop with that shit”, you glare at him. He laughs back in response, stopping his finger drumming. “Hmm..” Sanzu pauses to think before turning to you and declaring, “Lets play truth or dare”. You look at him, surprised by the childish remark when you notice the mischievous glint in his eyes. After a few seconds of thinking it over you respond, “Sure, but I start”. He nods, giving you the go-ahead. “Truth or dare?” you question, his answer being ‘truth’. With another short pause of thinking you ask him, “If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?” and for a second you swear you see a look of hurt on him, before its masked with the smug smile he returns quickly, and you feel guilt for some reason. He looks away from you for a moment before whispering “my scars” quietly, but loud enough for you to hear. You frown and look away, thinking when he breaks you out of your thoughts, questioning “Truth or dare?” to change the subject. “Uh.. dare” you boldly decide, quickly regretting it when he dares you to lick the floor. “Yeah I'm not doing that.” you say, unimpressed. “Fine, then it has to be truth!” he retorts. “Well there isnt many dares we can do in here anyway, so lets just keep asking truths”. You respond. And for the first time probably ever, you both agree on something.

“You ever fuck anyone that works here?” Doing a double take and staring at him in shock he only looks back, completely serious. Exhaling you answer, “Good God, and no.” You look over at him and he almost seems relieved? Knowing it's your turn, you ask him something almost equally as strange, “Have you ever practiced kissing in a mirror?” He looks at you weird, then laughs and you feel a small smile making its way to your face. “What? Thats so weird, why do you ask?” he runs his hands through his tuft of pink hair giggling at you. “I don't know, its a very you thing to do, and you didn't answer!” you defend yourself playfully. A few seconds of silence and him looking away is all the answer you need. He continues to look away before he hears you trying not to let a sound out, when he faces you he notices the wide smile on your face, that you tried to hide with a hand clasped tightly around your mouth, clearly you couldn't control it when he hears your laughter. And although its at his expense, he would usually respond with something mean, yet, for a moment Sanzu forgets he hates you. “Yeah whatever, laugh all you want, I was a teenager and now I can get the real thing and more, whenever I please.” He defends himself while you swipe the unshed tears from your eyes, calming down. 

Trying to change the subject, he questions, “If you had to pick someone from our team to fuck, who would it be?” Sanzu continues to ask out of pocket questions to try and embarrass you. Your face heats and your stomach drops and for a moment you think of him, on top of you and you decide to throw the thought of your head permanently. You look away, trying to think and all the comes up are filthy thoughts of him. “Ch-change the question.” You cough out. He leans in, “Nah I think I wanna hear your answer, princess”. He directs his complete attention on you, stare unwavering. A few seconds pass before you whisper “Ran”. For a reason unknown to him, Sanzu feels angry. Not at you for a change, but at Ran as if it were his fault. He masks his irritation by asking “Why him, of all people?” Quickly you respond “He was the first that came to mind” you lied, when suddenly the loud audio system answers, this time by Ran himself.

“Really? I'm honored sweetheart.” He giggles out to your complete shock and horror. “YOU CAN HEAR US?!” you question.

“Yeah, I'm surprised Sanzu didn't tell you.” You turn back at him with betrayal in your eyes and he only shrugs. God what an asshole, and to think you were starting to enjoy yourself even a little bit around him.

“I would've never answered that if I had known they can hear us! I don't wanna play anymore” you huff and cross your arms. “Aww the fun was just starting” Ran teases you, earning a quick shut up.

Sanzu decides to call it quits too, your answer the only thing replaying in his mind. You both stay silent for the duration of the period. Thankfully, before you fall asleep, a tired sounding Kokonoi announces that the elevator will work in the next minute. You stand, stretching and yawning, ready to get home when you notice the grumpy look on Sanzu’s face.

He stands too, and when the elevator dings and the doors open, he shoves past you walking- almost stomping away. You recollect yourself from the powerful push and make your way to your car. The only thoughts on your mind being him and his stupid face, his stupid smile, his stupid laugh too. You replay the soft look on his face in your brief moments of getting along, the thought being soured when you remember how he pushed you.

Exhausted, you finally get home, kicking off your heels somewhere random, not even bothering to undress you hop in bed quick to crash out.

Even in dream land he wouldn't leave you, your sleeping mind conjuring up the vulgar images of Sanzu groaning from on top of you, grabbing the under part of your legs that were wrapped around his torso, to put your knees to your shoulders, effectively trapping you in a once again, this time in a mating press, before he leans in and whispers “Cum for me, pretty girl”, while speeding up and deepening his thrusts, the filthiest grunts and praises leaving his pretty lips. Moans and whimpers leaving your own. “Hngh- Hah, I love those sounds, make more princess.”

A/N: omg? me updating so soon? once in a LIFE TIME, im sorry i think this chapter kinda sucks, forgive me </3, anyway some of you were wondering how my nipple piercing went, and it went fantastic! I really love them and im glad it went well lmao, anyway PLEASEEE send me requests, it can be smut or anything!! holy shit i forgot about the taglist too im just remembering, ill bring it back for next chapter <33 Love you guys, thank you for the support and reading!

[eggybug]

guess what time it is! its end of season 4 thoughts time!!!!

they are going to be a lot more insane and outta order than in the past

1. the entire season they were yelling at us that lilith was the final seal and it pissed me off jfc

2. i forgot what it was like to lowkey hate sam, i hate it.

3. so cas was in love the whole time, right? RIGHT. like i know ive been ranting about it all season but are you KIDDING me

4. ruby is a bitch and i hate her so bad. but she was in it for the long game thats for damn sure

5. im REALLY not looking forward to the whole "sam gets haunted by lucifer" bit

6. i love cas, i really do, but he looked right in deans eyes, knew that he was doing this shit to him, and did it anyway. like he was probably tortured by the legions of heaven, but goddamn it

7. when i start making cain and abel comparisons all next season, i don't wanna hear shit about it. itll be my bout of insanity and i apologize in advance

8. i fuckin LOVE bobby

9. no body liked john winchester, they loved him, but they hated the son of a bitch

10. i never got to the point where chuck became TRULY the worst guy ever, but i know we as a fandom hate him, so i hate him.

11. i think demons eat babies and i don't know how i feel about that

12. i don't know who i hate more, uriel or zachariah. maybe im glad cas killed all the angels

13. like i get it but HOW did it take dean so long to realize heaven wanted the war too. they disappeared for weeks while lilith was breaking seals like a bull in a damn china shop

14. they keep doing that thing where one of the capital A angels does something shameful to dean, or dean questions his faith in the "Plan" and the camera cuts to cas looking like a sad puppy

15. ik ive said it 1000 times but goddamn those stupid lil boys need therapy

16. GABRIEL WAS TRYING TO WARN THEM, HE WAS TRYING AND HE COULDNT. THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU GABEY!

17. hey, in the last episode they killed a bunch of nuns, which like damn

18. back to sam, his dumbass really fell for the devil on his shoulder bit jfc

19. like i understand camera work, but two straight men don't stand that close to have a conversation. they just don't.

20. hey sammy, you throw a lady in a trunk, you stop being the good guy

21. at any point did they just consider... not doing that. maybe perhaps, waiting a week?

22. there was a thing with the mirrors and zachariah in the last ep, wasn't there? like that wasn't unintentional. mirrors are notoriously terrible to work with, that can't be unintentional.

23. i love that biblical fanfiction always somehow ends with an angel, a demon, and a human coming together to stop heaven and hell playing out a war on earth.

24. spn just proved you can't leave a bunch of corporate assholes in charge of a planet.

26. im really not looking forward to sam whining about starting the apocalypse for a whole season.

27. dean fighting tooth and nail for cas to see the truth in humanity. to find faith outside of heaven. cas seeing that and it breaking his morale a little bit more and more every time. cas repeatedly seeing dean, perfect vessel, perfect soldier, dean be willing to lose the promise of heaven, of peace for his little bit of humanity. it broke cas. and dean keeps begging cas to see it too. and they're going to drive. me. INSANE.

28. "we're done" those were the exact words dean said to cas.

29. so cas and dean can talk without saying anything, and i hate to say that means they're in love... but thats exactly what that means.

30. cas did it! he broke his faith, he sacrificed himself for dean. and now they're gonna kiss (ik they don't kiss but a boy can dream)

31. have i mentioned that sam pisses me the FUCK off! like yeah i blame ruby but goddamn.

32. this season was hell in a handbasket, jfc (no ounce intended)

omg! season for is done!! woooo! onto the most annoying and lowkey painful season ever! my takes and thoughts for season 5 are going to be annoying, so be prepared !

[scp-torment]

while adam is wettlesweeping it up here’s MY wettle propaganda

7000 is not the first article he appeared in! before 7000 was published, i read the article that first established his luck anomaly and i was INSTANTLY invested. dr wettle just lives like this? all the time? the poorest little meow meow of all time? does anyone see this man? i was ECSTATIC when the 7000 contest dropped and there was a whole article about him and i lost it when its rating climbed up and up and it won. it won by a lot. because it is so so so unbelievably good

the article looks long at first glance, but the overwhelming majority of it is dialogue + there’s loads of images. it flies by but itll leave you with an impression. itll make you laugh. itll make you feel shockingly emotionally crushed. itll leave you satisfied. its a humorous article that takes itself seriously. it’s part of a canon if you want more, but it’s fully, completely standalone if you don’t.

wettle is a sopping, pathetic, wet cat of a man. hes part of the reason i made an scp sideblog. he’s a grumpy, twice-divorced, 50-something asshole that you will feel emotions that you’re not ready for about. 

oh you dont like him? well surprise! theres two other plotlines in the article to follow! scp 7000 is a story about a global breakdown of coherent probability. wettle is a vitally important perspective on that, but not the only one. the second plotline is about dr dan (the guy from scp 096) and his quest to figure out what is going on with this anomaly. the third plotline is about the O5s and the chaos insurgency’s attempt to gain control over it. despite the appearance of complexity, the whole story is actually quite easy to grasp and in the end its so simple and im trying SO HARD not to spoil it all over the place. but it is a really investing story that you should vote for

you really have to read it. and once you read it, you’ll say “wow, that was really an investing story,” and you’ll vote scp 7000.

WETTLESWEEP WETTLECON LETS GO. in the wise words of adam "dark" hopping from july 25 2022, "#also omg its dr . william wettle#43s own fail blorbo i know fucking nothing about this man"

I can see SCP-7000 is linked to the Site-43 Canon hub, but I don't see a particular section for him or group of stories, so you can't just send me a long ask about other articles he's in and not tell me which ones they are!

If Wettle makes it to the finals, I'll link them all properly, so if you want even more content for the people just finding this to read…

[brainmoss]

i knew this day would come but so soon? i thought she still had a few more years in her. she just seems to have given up lately but this whole process feels so weird

everyone is aware shes going to die, she knows shes going to die and refused a treatment that would help extend her life a bit, its fair but its so weird

shes been there my whole life, literally my neighbour, see her and talk with her almost everyday

with school and her moving to my aunts house we barelly talked since but still shes my grandma she just existed since ever, i was the youngest of all cousins

i know its what happens just feels weird and sad

she lived a long life and wasnt always a good person, we had an ok relashionship sometimes bad mostly good even though im aware she isnt good for everyone and can actually be quite bad but like eh thats fine i guess people are different and some of those are annoying and wahtever we deal and move on

but its weird the whole family being aware idk i mean i think its probably the best option to be aware and start preparing stuff for when grief hits full force its not as hard but i feel unconfortable inside idk

writing this out helped the unconfort ease thats cool

ive been working so much on my relashionship with death, i know its gonna hurt and eventually it will ease and its normal and part of life and instead of like in the days of old where the family cared for the body shell instead go to a funeral home and shell go to the chappel and ill go see her body and its going to smell weird and then ill cry in front of my whole family and village and i dont want them looking at me when it happens but funerals in small places are also social events i guess

life will move on

its fine

the good moments we had were cool and nice to have

cycles repeat humanity renovates itself

and then my parents generation will be the oldest in the family

that i dont like because i wish my mom could live forever with no pain or sufering

but she doesnt want to live forever so well get to that when it happens and i hope its quite a few decades away, i know itll be less decades than average with all her health problems but please let her stay long

my grandma its fine shes lived long and doesnt want to stay anymore, we can say goodbye and let her go

my family on this side will fall apart

i dont like most of them but without grandma and having to look happy for her i think this is the starting point for going no contact with all of them

theyll go to wars over the property

ill eventually have to disown myself but i do hope he gets what he wants, but i know he wont cause my godparents are being assholes

and thats part of what makes it weird i guess, thinking about daily life and planning stuff knowing she wont be around. but its fine, writing is helping me, its not seeming as weird

damn i guess its just because it was a bit unexpected for me

for a while i thought she was faking a few things because shes been like that since ever but it was a peter and the wolf, this time its for real

and like its friday and he told me about this after he came back from work yesterday and i have school work and exams and i have to think about all of that and work when i know this huge thing is about to happen and its going to affect me for a long time? what, thats weird

sigh thats all i guess

ok edit one thing i do still and will continue finding weird is how uni is so fucking stressing and relevant in my life that i kknwo this bad thing is about to happen and i want to be with them and take my time to process but i know i have exams and deadlines and still right before this event i have to plan my work and emails around it wtfffff

[miiilowo]

DAMIEN LAVEY HAS ADHD AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this started out as a headcanon because i noticed some similarities between how he and i act. but the more i play the games the more shit crops up. heres my evidence, in no particular order. also spoilers for both games i guess

-he doesnt have object permanence

.(if you dont know, people w adhd struggle with object permanence. it isnt like 'the door closed! the rest of the house isnt there anymore! i forgot about it!' but more like 'i left this important item in a drawer and it will never cross my mind until im moving house and find it')

- run on sentences

lots of us, myself included, struggle with having run on sentences all the time. apparently it has something to do with impulsivity and making careless mistakes, but those kinda go hand in hand anyway. i talk to this mf in game a LOT and the amount of times he just goes 'and' instead of making a new sentence is uncountable

- infodumping (what im currently subjecting you to)

damien has stuff he likes. stuff he likes a lot, especially compared to other characters. ive had a good handful of interactions with him where he tells me about a topic he likes for. quite a few paragraphs

- hyperfixations

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS HYPERFIXATED ON DOLPHINS AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE GODDAMNIT. in monster camp, theres an event where he brings up watching dolphin documentaries, and invites other people to watch them with him. he also says hes gonna make dolphin shaped cookies. and thats the type of stuff i do when im hyperfixated on something-Ill consume content of it, try to get other people to enjoy it with me, and surround myself with that thing in any way possible, even if it means making dolphin shaped cookies.

also, while other characters have things they like, nobody so far (that ive noticed) likes something as much as he likes knives and fire. and ON that dolphin thing, in the first game, his death is predicted as including an 'unusual amount of bottlenose dolphins'. so. idk he probably wanted to see them and did something stupid to get to them

id also like to note his obsession with how much he hates the sun and wants to eradicate it. not sure what youd call that but it sure is something

- RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria)

damiens whole thing is that hes this toxic masculinity riddled asshole, but that personality is kinda put up as a facade. while that definitely is part of how he is genuinely, he DOES intensify it to please other people-And when thats challenged, or he shows his soft side in any way (that he tries very violently to hide) he gets super defensive. it basically plagues him and he thinks about it way more than he should, so much so that itll trigger a route where hes trying to prove how cool he is-after the other characters call him soft for liking dolphins and wanting a non-violent comic for once.

he cant even enjoy his interest in drag and makeup without feeling like he has to defend himself or be intense about it sometimes. (moss mann also says he makes flower crowns when nobodys looking, but its moss mann, so take that with a grain of salt, i guess)

hes also pretty intensely focused on trying to prove himself as a master survivalist, which is based off of the fact hes sheltered. he does not want people to perceive him that way, evidently

-impulsivity/recklessness

i dont have to explain this one. its damien

-his hatred for math

this experience might not be universal, but for me personally, adhd makes it SUPER fucking hard to do math. im bad at keeping track of things and remembering them, and paying attention without getting distracted, and he seems to have that same issue

- he interrupts people. thats it thats the whole bulletpoint

MISC

unfortunately the whole fidgeting/moving around thing is hard to prove because of the games style. he does enjoy sports and is pretty competitive, though, and i know my adhd fucks with how competitive i am (again, might not be universal, but i have that issue)

A lot of stuff im looking at also says that easy anger and irritability are things people with adhd can struggle with (i can back that up w personal experience) and damien DEFINITELY HAS ANGER AND IRRITABILITY ISSUES

anyway. thats just about everything i can remember right now. this is mostly based off of the second game because ive been playing that one more and its fresher in my mind. if u have any other evidence, give it to me, i will HAPPILY take it. anyways this image is relevant again

EDIT: adding this persons tags because . yeah

[liechi-berry-imagines]

Suppose their (soon to be) s/o's a grunt in their organization, how would each of the pokevillains go about with seducing them into staying by their side and (more importantly) joining them in the bedroom? 👀💦

*cracks knuckles* I'll try my best 👀💦

Giovanni

He wouldnt do much of anything at first, just watching them from a distance. He will start calling them more and more to his office to do random tasks. One day when they're cleaning his desk off while he watches from behind in his desk chair, he slowly wraps his hands around their waist and pull them into his lap. He tells them that they caught his eye and wants them by his side, more than just a grunt and he will pay anything for it. While his hands are on their thighs.

ORAS archie

He invited them over to go surfing after work. After they tell him taht they dont know how to surf, he takes this opportunity to teach them. He tries to hide his blush when seeing them in their swimsuit. He gets a surfboard that's for beginners and goes on to teach them. When in the water, the grunt is having difficulty and is stiff, while on their knees trying to stand on the surfboard. After a few hours of this, they get back to the base and are going to change into dry clothes. Archie says he has a new uniform in his room. After they follow him there, he pins them to the wall, moves his head closer and kiss their cheek, saying how good they are doing today, but itll be better if they were by his side instead.

ORAS Maxie

Once they catch his eye, he doesnt know what to do. As is been a long while since he had a crush or anything, it hit him like a truck. After a while of thinking it through, he finds an idea to slowly get closer. He would ask them to do coffee runs for him everyday, and he would compliment something about them. Compliments like "I love how your hair looks today" and he would feel amazing seeing their face light up and them smiling at that. One day he pretends to "accidentally" spill coffee on their shirt, and apologize. Then he says it's okay if they took their shirt off there, he wouldnt mind. They blush and giggle a little, and Maxie blushes realizing what he said. "Or I can take it off for you" he says in a purr as he gets closer, holding the bottom of their shirt.

RSE Archie

He would probably be flirtatious, always wanting this grunt to feel his muscles or something. Even asks if he can massage them after hard days. One day after a very difficult mission, he calls them to his room. Once they get there, he asks if they need another massage. After the nod shyly, he asks if they can lay down on his bed as it's easier. Once they lay on their belly and get gets ontop of them to message their shoulders and back, he tries to hold himself back from just ravaging them. As he slowly and deeply message them, they make low moans and stick their butt up against his crotch. He instantly because hard and just starts grinding into them

RSE Maxie

He would make missions where it's only the two of them. He will get closer by each one they do, but he will act distant just to make the grunt confused. Sometimes he will "accidentally" brush up against them and pretend he didnt mean it at all. One time they make a mistake during a mission and after they get back to the base, he calls them to his quarters. They sit on the couch across from his desk nervously, an he glares holes into them, but smirks. He stands up, slowly walking over to them, and tells them to look at him. He grabs their wraith to stand up and holds them in his grasp tightly. He starts saying what hes been planning for this long, but the grunt doesnt focus in his words, they just stand there blushing as he grinds into them while he speaks. He grabs the back of their hair and kisses them, it escalates

Cyrus

He doesn't know he likes the grunt at first. He starts giving the grunt more attention and special tasks without realizing, as well as giving them extra speeches during a coffee break or something. The admins found out and would tease him, then they would get pinched for doing it. Once he realizes he has...feelings for someone, he locks himself in his room. During this time is when this grunt and him share time by having coffee together. When they get there and see its locked, they get worried. They knock, and here sniffling. After some persuading, he unlocks the door slowly. They step in and see him. He takes a depe breath and explains everything. Then he gets over confident, and grabs them in for a deep kiss. Its sloppy but they dont care. The grunt kicks the door closed and deepens the kiss

Ghetsis:

He would treat them like a queen/king/anything in between. He would give compliments but it would sound kinda condescending but its better than what he says about everyone else. Hed invite them to his place in the base to hear an important speech that you have to tell the people of Unova, while they write down what he wants, he plays with their hair which is kinda distracting. After hes done with what they wrote down for it. He will take their hand and lead them to his bedroom. Saying he has another thing in mind.

Lysandre

Once he starts getting feelings for this grunt, he would start to invite them to his cafe, give them free lunches and coffee whenever they please. He would compliment them everyday and get them to help him more with Team Flares plans. Hed also give them a rare Holo Caster, with his number on it. One day he asks them out to a fancy restaurant and they can order anything off of the menu, he wouldnt mind. After an evening of that, he will hold their hands and ask them if they wanna join him in his room, after they say yes, he will gently carry them to his room and his room already looks set up with candles and everything, showing that he was planning on something

Guzma:

He would walk with them to and from the old mansion to missions and would worry about them. He would check in on them alot because he knows people are assholes. One time he saw another grunt slap their ass and that grunt wasnt seen again. He called them to his room after that to talk. Once the grunt got there, he apologized for what that other grunt did even though it wasnt his fault. He Pat's his lap and asks with a smirk if sitting in his lap will make them feel better. He then started kissing anywhere he can and holding them tightly with his strong arms, calling them so many nice things. He picked them up and flopped them in the bed 💦

Lusamine

She would notice how good they are at the aether foundation and treat them for a day with her to online shop. She buys them anything they like. She looks at them, "you know I can be your sugar mommy right?" she giggles. " But that means pulled have to pay me back in physical attention~" she strokes their face with her slender fingers. "What do you say?" She says how cute of a sugar baby they would be. After they agree, she makes them straddle her on the desk and pulls them in for a deep kiss

[interstellarflowers]

Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

[thewebcomicsreview]

Homestuck 2 has updated! Christmas is ruined!

Previously, on Homestuck 2: Literally nothing happened, and a non-trivial portion of the patreon supporters gave up and quit. Can this update pull a Christmas miracle and right the sinking ship of Homestuck 2? Probably not, but let’s find out! 

We’re back in Candyland, having completely skipped over Karkat and John talking about Dave’s apparent death, because this comic is only interested in long conversations when they’re boring and not about anything at all. That’s alright, I got the gist of it.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

So, it appears to be morning now, meaning that John’s son has been missing in a war zone for almost 24 hours and I guess John literally forgot Harry existed?

Prediction: This conversation is going to end in some variant of “Where is our son?” “Oh shit!”

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid

ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid

ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

What.

So, I went back and checked, and apparently nowhere is it explicitly said that Harry Anderson was also looking for the Vriskas, so I guess he....stayed home? Which makes sense, I suppose, but maybe a “Stay here I’ll go look for them” would’ve helped. I wasn’t the only one who thought Harry was out looking for Vriska too. 

ROXY: sup

ROXY: follow me

ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way

JOHN: haha ok.

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

Is Roxy....horny? Is the solid she’s looking for John’s dick? I mean, that’d make her saying Harry wasn’t available kind of weird, but I think this framing is a fake-out.

...

What the fuck is that lamp, Jesus Christ it’s awful. Just a cat’s asshole, facing the door.

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert

JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding.

JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

Oh hey, it was a fakeout. Good job, Homestuck 2. You successfully implied something just through the art. Art which, by the way, looks a lot better than the last chapter. There are backgrounds and everything. I wonder if Chapter 15 was rushed out due to Hiveswap and that’s why it was so weak?

He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

I’m not the biggest fan of the way the narration is going JOHN IS AFRAID OF SEX WITH ROXY LIKE HE’S A TEENAGE VIRGIN AGAIN (LIKE IN HS1!) AND IT DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IT’LL BE IMPORTANT LATER, but okay, noted.

ROXY: u said ur house is gone??

JOHN: yep.

JOHN: completely.

ROXY: jeez

Heh. I like Roxy, still. 

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

If this comic actually uses the phrase “home” and “stuck” in the same sentence I’m turning this blog around and we’ll go right back to Winnipeg.

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

I feel unqualified to talk about how hard Roxy is pushing the June Egbert thing.

....Is that the fucking portal from Hiveswap under a tarp? Also hi Candy Callie, appearing in HS2 for the first time. One of the Calliope’s is nonbinary, I think, but I honestly can’t remember and I think it’s Meat Calliope? 

JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is?

ROXY: hmmmmmm no

JOHN: oh ok.

JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room.

JOHN: space.

JOHN: wherever we are.

ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now

ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi

ROXY: and by that i mean

ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn

JOHN: right, sorry.

JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain.

ROXY: u catch on fast egbert

Oh thing HS2 has not been great at is that it has a lot of plot mysteries that are supposed to keep us enticed but they don’t really get implanted into the audience’s head (Remember Vrissy mysteriously collapsing that one time? Probably not, she did it off screen and the boys kind of laughed it off). This one’s hard to miss.

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs?

JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done.

ROXY: well no not x actly

ROXY: were in the old meteor

It’s kind of weird how this meteor keeps popping up like this. 

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

This is an unexpected but not unwelcome direction for Callie to have gone.

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes?

Oh, wow, we’re going right there, then. This does seem like a bit of a reaction to complaints HS2 wasn’t shmoovin’ enough, but maybe I’m reading too much into it.

CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole.

JOHN: ok.

A’ight, that got a laugh out of me

JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it!

JOHN: i'm so sorry.

JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ):

I like this conversation a lot. 

ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you

JOHN: listen.

JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given.

Quite a bit, in fact.

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

Roxy and John have a good dynamic. 

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

JOHN: ...right.

John’s phone has very good coverage, since he was able to talk to Terezi in the epilogues, as we’re being subtly reminded of here with that ... before the “right”. I wonder if it still works after alt-Calliope left.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

Okay, so we are now being explicitly told that living in the black hole is fucking with the characters and is part of the reason they make such baffling decisions, like Rose not telling Kanaya about Yiffy, or naming her daughter “Yiffy” in the first place.

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

So, the plan is literally for Vriska to be such a Huge 8itch that the black hole itself gets sick of her and yeets Earth C out of its own event horizon to freedom.

This is actually a great plan. 

And that’s Hamsteak. This definitely feels like a bit of a reaction to complaints about HS2, but hey, I dig it, I guess? Definite improvement over the last chapter.

[saetoru]

“wow im thrilled to hear that besfren. you are my slay queening girl boss”

made me snort if im being honest but thats actually really good advice! to the anon, i'd say to recall past convos you've had! dont try too hard or it sounds stilted and unnatural. lets be honest, half the characters generally written for will never talk all elegant and extravagant. try to be realistic. one of the things i do when writing, is that i just say everything out loud. if it sounds weird spoken, itll probably look weird written. just practice and youll get so much better over time! i believe in you nonnie <3

LMAO I LAUGHED WHRN I WROTE THAT TOO

anyway this is also rly good advice i forgot to mention too !! i talk to myself while i write. like out loud. i’ve deadass had a two man conversation by myself like this:

“go to the couch”

“why the hell should i go to the couch i didn’t do shit”

“you and i both know exactly what you did you asshole”

and then after i work out a small conversation with myself of how i’d talk and how i think the character would talk, i write it. i will say though, when you write fanfic, even if it’s just fanfic, usually people try to make it sound a bit proper, so in real like i’m sure atsumu would talk just like anyone else and say “that’s like ridiculous, i didn’t even do anything. yer bein’ dramatic”

bc in real life, we all use the word “like” and “uhh” and “umm” as a filler as we think as we speak. but ofc i don’t actually make any of the characters say “like” as a filler, i make them sound just a tad bit more “proper” in their speech. i am actually trying to weave in a few filler words we use in every day speech bc i see a few writers do it so seamlessly that i barely noticed it and it makes the dialogue so realistic i deadass felt like they were stealing words out my mouth. anyway hope that maybe is a start !! practice makes perfect i read over a drabble i wrote like a month ago and cringed at the dialogue so you’ll always be steadily improving !!

[unnamed-atlas]

post the explanation itll be funny -🌱

Okay so this is probably going to be really long but like essentially what is happening in the dreams (there's been a series of them) is mojang creates this new version of minecraft that's basically like a simulation of Minecraft but in real life. Kinda like VR except like, you are actually in there. They sponsor what is essentially the next season of hermitcraft to take place in this simulation except like also mojang is inviting other people. I do not know what the criteria for this is or who all they invite but I know I'm there for some reason 👁👄👁 on the day of the series launch I obviously have no idea what I am doing and get invited to go along with Wels and Beef, which I agree to. This is somehow the worst decision I have ever made in a dream despite it seeming perfectly reasonable.

You see, it turns out Wels was a part of the early test players for an early version of this simulation, which was, at the time, compatible with normal servers, meaning that his season seven, unbeknownst to his audience, was filmed in this simulation. And at some point during this testing, he fucked up majorly by way of actually cloning himself for what was supposed to be a bit with Beef's cloning machine. No one quite knows what Hels is but he behaves like some sort of sentient AI, one that is not particularly happy to have been brought into existence at that. Obviously this would be bad pr for Mojang, Wels, and maybe hermitcraft as a whole, considering the questionable at best ethics of the whole thing, and so Wels, Mojang, and X basically come to an agreement to keep the whole thing quiet, play it off as some lore Wels made for his series. This is overall a good move for their publicity, considering the fan base loves Hels and they managed to stay out of trouble, but it is certainly not a move Hels is a fan of, and he is further not a fan of the fact that at the end of season seven he is abandoned in the season seven server 💀

So uh, to say the least, he fucks around and finds his way into the new server, pissed, and with an unknown amount of access to Mojang's servers. This is bad news, obviously, and it is worse news that no one knows he did that. He is in there undetected and quickly going to follow after Wels. At which point he realizes a) there are new people around b) I am one of them and I am just an entire teenager and c) I am following Wels around. So, uh, he decides okay time to start causing problems on purpose.

We go into a cave. Hels follows. We split off into seperate caverns at some point and this is an overall bad decision for me considering I quickly find myself in a dead end cave with mr evil ai clone helsknight, who is considerably scarier when he looks like a real person rather than a little pixel minecraft man. I do not remember what he said but I know he decided to be an intimidating asshole and then disappear back into the cave. So I'm like 👁👄👁' and Wels walks in a second later like hey did you run into someone I thought I heard voices and I lie bc like WTF and I make up an excuse to leave the cave and instantly get as far away as possible from that fucking cave.

Fun fact about this series though, the whole thing is being live streamed, basically 24/7, like you can turn your camera off whenever you want cause like. Privacy. Obviously. but essentially you're streaming almost the entire time you're in there. Fancy cameras and shit. And like you still have access to twt and shit while you're in the simulation cause like why not gotta interact with the fan base and all. So obviously Wels fans are like 👁👁 Hels Content. Lore 👁👁. They're loving it. So obviously Wels starts to notice the sudden influx of Hels fanart with the new kid who disappeared halfway through the first day and eventually he sees the fucking clip and is like Oh Shit. That's really fucking bad and it gets worse when I have to start answering questions about that interaction and I'm like yeah, no, that was not planned in advance. My permission was never asked to be a part of that interaction 👁👄👁. So now there are some questions and Wels and X and Mojang are all like how the fuck do we make sure this doesn't become a problem. And essentially things just get worse from there <3

I talk to Wels thinking that that was some kind of prank after the fandoms reaction and he was like fully prepared to have to come clean about Hels being real so as soon as I say that he's like Yep! Definitely A Prank. Sorry about that! Will not do it again! But obviously that does not stop Hels from continuing to be an asshole. There are some arguments. Wels comes clean thinking everyone's cameras are off. They are not. The fandom is split between people who are like so hyped for this meta helsnknight lore and people who are like uh I'm not sure if this is lore anymore guys 👁👄👁. I try to leave the server. Hels locks everyone in the fucking server. Hels cuts off communication between the people in the server and the outside world other than the streams. Mojang is trying to play it off as role-play shit on twt while they desperately try to figure out WTF is happening and how to fix it. The fandom is growing increasingly concerned and there's discourse about if making fan content of what's happening in the server is ethical considering the ambiguity of the realism of the situation. Hels is trying to egg me into helping him destroy the server with everyone in it bc we're both mad at Wels and he's gonna fuck shit up either way so I might as well help him and get out at the end instead of going down with the ship. I am not yet convinced but I am getting fucking tired of all this shit <3

And yeah that's about where it's at. Uh. I probably would not do any serious writing or anything based off these dreams since the concept kind of blurs the line between CCs and their roleplay characters and also uh I feel like mojang might not appreciate the slander there but like it's been a fun series of dreams and I also just enjoy the concept of Hels going from being like a silly asshole to a serious threat and the kinda metaness of it all so-

[peter-pantomime]

Ask Meme

WELP HERE WE GO LMAO

002 | Character

Feelings

How do i feel about love of my life, idiot child of my loins, Richard Richie Dick Trashmouth Tozier? Listen ive been in some fandom or another for like fifteen years straight, some with more intensity than others, and there are some deeply obvious patterns that have emerged in the characters and relationships that make me absolutely lose my MIND. Is there a character who others (my mother) would call a dick, an asshole, a complete twerp? who is loud and obnoxious and performative and NEEDS attention? but who then under that is DEEPLY insecure and has lots of self-hatred and cannot handle actually being seen? sign me the FUCK up. Charles Xavier, Dean Winchester, Bucky Barnes, my loves, step aside - long live the ultimate clown, Richie Tozier.

OTP/Ships

Just gonna save this rant for the Reddie answer below. 

Others

Non-romantic OTPs are a delight for Richie. I do love him and Bev when they’re kids, i think there’s a lot there in both of them about being terrified of puberty and what its revealing to them about themselves, and i havent really seen that delved into anywhere, but i think it would be really interesting to see. But i also love Richie and Stan, a lot of fics (Indelicate in particular i think) call them an unstoppable force and immovable object, and I love that dynamic. I’d like to see how that plays out more when they aren’t fighting lol. also in general I just love that Patty is showing up more in fics and I love their dynamic too. 

Shitty Headcanons

I don’t know if its unpopular as much as its depressing, but the only way I can cope with the canon ending of the movie is if richie kills himself like, a minute after that last shot of him. In real life, I would never say that but in fiction? Narratively, I think its more in character than just smiling and bouncing along on his way after the love of his life is impaled in front of him BECAUSE said love saved him and he had to leave him to be buried in the diseased and dirty darkness with the corpse of their worse nightmare. Anyway, stay tuned for my Orpheus fic, itll happen eventually.

Canon

On that note like, i DON’T want that to have happened in canon, but like, I’ve long ago given up on looking to mainstream media for storylines and characterizations i want to see. I would have preferred Richie staying in the house with Eddie tbh, but again, wasnt looking to the film to give me a satisfying happy or sad ending for him/them. 

Crossovers

I don’t really think about crossover stuff much, much more into AUs, so like, lets have Reddie in a The Mummy AU hows that. (also actually edit: theres a fic where Eddie and Carrie White are cousins and i LOVE THAT)

001 | Reddie

in the beginning

This is 100% one of those ships i blame tumblr for. It started with seeing some good reddie art going around before part 2 came out, then laughing at some posts probably, then going into the tags ‘just to see what was happening,’ and then resigning myself to knowing i was gonna see the new movie and watching the first one in prep and just seeing it hit all my buttons. twas inevitable. 

happy/sad

I love nearly everything fandom spins out for them. not so much what canon did. I don’t particularly love modern AUs for them, them growing up in the 80s is very important to me, and it doesnt jive for me when richie isnt like, fucked up with internalized homophobia that he works through (even if its just acknowledged that he’s dealt with it before the fic starts, its just an important characterization for me). I don’t like stuff where eddie is super sweet and soft (...”chee”) and all woobie’d, like no, hes a little asshole and i love him for that.

other pairings

Another pattern in this deeply self-exposing parade of losers i go feral over is that i am embarrassingly singular in my shipping for them. Like, ONE true pairing to the heights, motherfuckers. Like, the similarities in the reasons I like Reddie and Stucky are comical. Kids who’ve known each other since childhood, one who’s sickly but absolutely a rage monster and one who’s loud and brash but much more timid on the inside, for whom the very concept of love was grown from knowing each other, who lose each other and literally forget each other for years, who then find each other again through bloodshed, and are now figuring out these teenage growing pains as grown people after a (N E A R) death experience? *anguished elk noise* literally havent gotten tired of it in the slightest yet. 

happily ever after

honestly, variations on a theme at this point - living together preferably in LA, soaking up sunshine and each other’s company, just happy and in love and HAPPY. basically a combo of Ithots and bullet in the back.

big/little spoon

nah, eddie sleeping directly on top of Richie 

favorite activity

this is just an expression of my own favorite activity, but them at a karaoke bar is still my favorite thought. Mostly because i need something where Richie sings Can’t Take My Eyes off You and it starts silly but then it HITS REAL HARD

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Big News

Summary: Sarah and Ava have big news for the groupchat.

WC: ~1.5k

[Other Bekker renamed the chat “HOUSE PARTY”]

Other Bekker: it’s official

Other Bekker: i own a house

Other Bekker: with my WIFE!!!!!!

Bekker: We’re throwing a housewarming party and everyone’s invited!

Dr. Lanik: What’s the dress code

Other Bekker: casual if you wear a suit ill kill you

Ethan Choi: When? 

Bekker: We were thinking it would start at around six or seven? It would mean a lot to us if Crockett could make it.

FreeWilly: Will there be alcohol?

Other Bekker: some of us are sober. No

no-ah: I’m in

Maggie<3: Wait who’s sober other than Crockett?

Dr. Lanik: Me

Other Bekker: me

connor: @OtherBekker there was an open bar at your wedding

Bekker: Circumstances change

Ethan Choi: This is such a fun conversation. Let’s not have it.

April: So back to the party… details!

Other Bekker: ill send the address in a bit but its gonna be potluck style. Everybody brings food. itll be pretty casual so dont be that asshole (@Dr.Lanik). starting at six ish and ending at maybe 10 or 11 depending on how tired we all are

Ethan Choi: Crockett’s program usually ends at like 5:30 so we might be a little late?

Other Bekker: ok sounds good. how is he btw

Ethan Choi: Pretty well. He’s outpatient for another few weeks and then his doctors are going to discuss long term options. Hopefully he’ll be back at work soon, too

April: Tell him we’re proud of him?

Ethan Choi: As soon as I pick him up tonight.

-

Sarah: are we telling them tonight?

Wifey: I was thinking so, yes. I mean, we have our house, and the paperwork went through.

Sarah: im so excited

Wifey: Me too, honey

-

Nat: Not to alarm anybody but whoever’s in charge of Connor right now, come to treatment 4

FreeWilly: love the implication that we take turns babysitting him

Dr. Lanik: We kind of do. I think it’s Maggie’s turn.

Maggie<3: I’m not at work. Who’s next in line?

April: @QueenElsa

Queen Elsa: Fine

connor: im a big boy i can take care of myself

Nat: You literally have a concussion

Ethan Choi: Why?

Nat: He fainted after a surgery. His sugar is low on the finger prick and he said he hasn’t had any water since his shift started

Dr. Lanik: @connor We’ve talked about this

connor: ok boomer

Dr. Lanik: @connor Stop calling me a boomer! We’re the same age!

connor: ok

connor: boomer

Bekker: Can you grow up @connor

connor: no

Queen Elsa: Update for everyone, Connor is getting a CT. He’s eating a Snickers bar right now and we’re pushing fluids

FreeWilly: youre not you when youre hungry

Dr. Lanik: @Bekker @OtherBekker What day will your housewarming party be? My daughter’s birthday is Friday.

Maggie<3: IM SORRY YOUR WHAT

Other Bekker: ?????

Bekker: We were thinking Saturday.

April: @FreeWilly Did you know about this???????

FreeWilly: uh yeah?

no-ah: Why did none of us know you had a daughter?

Dr. Lanik: I just don’t see how it’s any of your business.

Nat: How old is she? Who’s her mother? What school does she go to? How did we go this long without knowing?

[Dr. Lanik has sent an image to the chat]

Dr. Lanik: This is Emma, she’s almost eleven, and this is the most information any of you will ever be getting about her.

Ethan Choi: Well this has been a wild ride

Other Bekker: now taking bets on how crockett will react. $10 says he thinks its a joke

no-ah: Coward. He knows everything. $20 says he already knew.

Other Bekker: youre on

Queen Elsa: ...Anyways, Connor’s CT came back alright. It’s a minor concussion; he’ll be fine soon. 

Maggie<3: That’s good

Dr. Lanik: @FreeWilly and I will look after him.

Ethan Choi: Just picked up Crockett, he says hi. He also has letters for each of you as part of his process

Nat: That’s sweet

Ethan Choi: I have been assured none of them contain nudes

Other Bekker: thank g-d

Ethan Choi: I’ll be giving them to you all at work.

Ethan Choi: Crockett will be cooking something I won’t even try to pronounce for the housewarming party

Other Bekker: his cooking is all so good...

no-ah: It slaps

Queen Elsa: Is it that pasta thing??? With the crawfish????

Ethan Choi: Honestly, I don’t know.

Nat: Owen and I are bringing cookies.

Bekker: Important question, @Dr.Lanik… will Emma be coming?

Dr. Lanik: No. I don’t want her near any of you.

connor: hes got a point

Maggie<3: Have you never, in your life, had to bring her to a doctor?

Dr. Lanik: We use East Mercy so that you all keep your noses out of my life.

FreeWilly: ouch

April: I mean, if I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want any of you near her either.

Nat: Harsh, I trust you with my son

April: You’re different.

Bekker: Do I hear wedding bells?

Nat: @April What if we kissed in the doctor’s lounge… and we’re both girls?

Nat: Haha just kidding

Nat: Unless…?

April: Did you just hit on me with a meme

Nat: Did it work?

Other Bekker: another win for the gaydies

Other Bekker: THEY BOTH JUST WENT INTO THE DOCTORS LOUNGE JHGFKHFRH

Ethan Choi: Crockett laughed 

connor: do you read these messages to him?

Ethan Choi: Sometimes. He likes to be in the loop.

FreeWilly: hot take but. we could just add him back to the chat?

Ethan Choi: He’s not ready for that yet, but he does like to be updated on your lives and one-on-one texting is stressful for him

Other Bekker: we spend more time talking about crockett now than we did when he was in the chat

no-ah: Sweet I have my Crockett letter

Ethan Choi: I'll put them in your lockers. My shift is starting so I'm turning my phone to silent. 

Other Bekker: Crockett Time

Bekker: Did he write me one?

Other Bekker: @Bekker both mine and yours are in my locker i think. one is for "blonde bekker" and one is for "brunette bekker"

no-ah: That's what he has your contacts saved as 

Queen Elsa: Mine is just a smiley face sticker in an envelope?

Other Bekker: jsyk we should probably keep these private! this is important to him

Maggie<3: I'm so excited to see him again on Saturday, I've missed him.

FreeWilly: He's been busy. I think his program is like eight to five every day but Sunday

Nat: What's that even like?

Other Bekker: they have an in house aa group that meets a few times a day and theres a ton of other support like therapy to get to the root of the problem. i mean before he got sober the first time he was self medicating 

Other Bekker: he does a lot of art therapy i think. when he was inpatient he kept mailing paintings to my wife and i 

-

Curry (Not Dr.): Hey, it's Elsa Curry from Med. Sarah gave me your number. I was just wondering why you gave me a sticker?

Crockett: dont u put them on the inside of your binder? the one u put ur case notes in at the end of ur shift 

Curry (Not Dr.): How did you know that?

Crockett: u pull ur binder out when ur stressed to reference old cases. i thot u might like another sticker so u know ur not in this alone

Crockett: :)

-

[crickett has renamed the chat "dick bros"]

crickett: @connor do u wanna fuck again this weekend lmao

connor: ???

connor: i thought that was a one time thing

Ethan Choi: It doesn't have to be. 

-

Maggie<3: @Bekker @OtherBekker Sorry I'm running a little behind! I couldn't find my keys

Bekker: No harm, no foul!

[Bekker has sent an image to the chat]

Bekker: Definitely hurry, we're having so much fun!

-

Crockett: baby

HUBBY: I'm sitting right beside you.

Crockett: ik but im feeling kinda overwhelmed 

HUBBY: Do you want to go home?

Crockett: i think i just need air will you cover for me if someone comes looking

-

Other Bekker: THANK YOU @Maggie<3 FOR ACTUALLY HELPING CLEAN UP 

FreeWilly: sorry!

connor: sorry ahhhhhh i didnt think about it 

Nat: Congrats again, you two, this is huge!

April: ^^

no-ah: Will we get to meet her, or will she be a secret like Laniks daughter?

Bekker: You'll all definitely get to meet her, but let's not do so much at once? Adjusting to a new home is hard, and from what the adoption agency tells us, she's had a rough go of it.

no-ah: Of course! 

Queen Elsa: No little girl could have a better home! Congratulations on your daughter and I wish you really good luck. If you ever need help, we're all here!

Dr. Lanik: She's about eight, right?

Bekker: Yes

Dr. Lanik: If she needs help adjusting, let me know, and maybe Emma and I can help. She was about that age when I adopted her.

connor: the Lanik lore we are getting today omg

Dr. Lanik: You'll both be great parents, and @OtherBekker don't hesitate to let me know if you need extra time off. This is a big deal and you shouldn't have to stress about work when you should be worrying about your family. @Bekker I'll also ask Dr. Latham to be lenient with you as well.

Other Bekker: thank you from both of us <3

connor: who knew lanik had a heart. 

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 6

Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:

Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.

Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.

And so, the journey continues...

Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...

Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.

“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”

“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”

“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”

Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.

Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.

It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.

Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.

The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.

“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”

On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.

“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”

“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”

“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”

“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”

“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”

“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”

And so, they both just kinda... stand there.

“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”

Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.

“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”

“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”

“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”

Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.

“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”

“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”

“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”

It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.

“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”

Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.

Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.

It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”

Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.

Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.

“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”

“this is the last straw.

i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”

“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”

“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”

The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.

“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”

“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”

Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.

“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”

“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”

I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.

This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.

Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.

“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”

“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”

“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”

“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”

“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”

“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”

“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that

i...

i larp.”

“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”

“.....................................im super into realism.”

“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”

As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.

“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”

“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”

“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”

Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.

“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”

“a westaboo?”

“westaboo?”

“did he just unironically say westaboo”

“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”

“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”

Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...

“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”

“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”

“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”

“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”

“sure!”

“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”

“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”

“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”

“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”

“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”

“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”

“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”

“for the cause!”

“yes hibiki... for the cause...”

Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.

Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.

“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”

“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”

“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”

“HOLY SHIT”

“you are already”

“dead.”

[miiilowo]

vent to us about vanny and glitchtrap. how much do you hate them and why, here for the drama

OH GOD where do i even START ( this is said gleefully and i am rubbing my hands together like a cartoon villain )

GENERALLY im not a huge fan of the newer fnaf lore. 1-3 is good purely for nostalgia purposes but generally everything pre pizzeria simulator + UCN? its decent! got some characters you can get attached to while not removing the spooky factor (SECURITY BREACH) you had the dead kids. you had the old creepy bastard getting a taste of his own medicine. a proper conclusion, even if it was the . um. third? proper conclusion in the series

i ALSO love william aftons character. hes horrendous. truly the worst. great antagonist as long as i dont look scraptrap in the...anywhere. he's always been my favorite character, and ive been into fnaf before #3 even came out so you know thats SAYING SOMETHING lmao

takes the cake as my favorite game series of all time. piqued my interest in horror. piqued my interest in art. fnaf is one of my favorite things ever in GENERAL, actually. shaped who i am today! my favorite hyperfixation then and one of my favorites now! if i never got into five nights at freddys, i wouldnt be as skilled of an artist. id have never gotten into online spaces, i wouldnt have the same interests, and id probably be an asshole all things considered. it made me happy for years and years -- i poured so much love into making content for this silly little horror game series and i genuinely wouldnt have it any other way.

anyways then glitchtrap shows up and fucks everything i like about the series

YOU HAD THE DEAD KIDS. IT MADE SENSE. THEY DIED AND POSESSED THE ANIMATRONICS. I KNOW ITS NOT THE 80S ANYMORE IN THE NEW GAMES BUT THE WHOLE DIGITAL SOUL THING OR WHATEVER HE'S GOT GOING ON THROWS A WRENCH INTO EVERYTHING THE SERIES HAS ESTABLISHED UP TO THIS POINT. IT'S NOT THAT IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE IT JUST ISNT...THERE HAS BEEN NO MENTION OF ANYTHING LIKE THIS UP UNTIL THIS POINT. it'd have been more satisfying if springtrap just fucking crawled outta the rubble and then shuffled his decrepit ass at you as you played the game or something. The Adventures Of Springtrap. Springtrap visits and burns down a burger king. Springtrap smashes your head against the pavement simulator. ill take anything. anything but this. please. fuck

It genuinely just makes me kinda sad in a weird way. Whenever im catching up on lore I'll be (reluctantly) accepting new theories about whatever the hell is going on then it gets to glitchtrap and vanny and it feels like someone walked up to my soul with a vacuum and turned it on high suction. what the hell did they do to my boy

right. so we HAD possessed animatronics. we probably still do, i dont know anymore. now we have a glitchy rabbit suit that looks like it smells like piss and apparently contains a serial killers soul. awesome. okay. whatever. if i ignore it, itll be fine. he wont be that relevant, right? i wont have to think about him anymore if i try hard enough WRONG NOW WE HAVE ANOTHER RABBIT SUIT THAT LOOKS LIKE IT SMELLS LIKE PISS

vanny. vanny dearest. vanny sweetie honey pumpkin darling. i fucking hate her

first impression of her was that she looks like she was designed for rule34 artists. shes not scary. shes not intimidating. she looks like a strong breeze would knock her over because her head is ten times the size of her body. toy chica is also guilty of the r34 thing but toy chica isnt associated with glitchtrap and therefore i do not hate her out of spite

i dislike security breach as a whole because it feels like a fnaf fanfic or fan comic series youd stumble upon on deviantart. that being said, fnaf fanfics and fancomics can be really enjoyable- they just dont feel like an actual piece of fnaf content. if security breach is the fanfic, vanny is someones oc that was made because they wanted to draw horny self insert art with springtrap and was unceremoniously shoved into what couldve been an entertaining story

despite my hatred for glitchtrap, he at least kinda makes sense and at least falls in line with fnaf in terms of general vibe. i feel bad for vanny. shes an antagonist. ive never been scared of her. and i cannot stress enough that she 100% feels like she doesnt belong in fnaf. shes the first antagonist to be just Some Person (unless you count micheal in fnaf 4. i dont) and she is fucking useless LMAO she shows up for like 3 cutscenes and barely does anything despite being hyped up and shown in trailers for fucking ever

guess burntrap is also guilty of the 'being useless' thing. i am neutral toward him though. hes got cool claws

didnt even touch on the mind control manipulation thing. god. i would but i dont know enough about it to properly tear it apart and i dont want to invest energy into learning about it